#please ignore the lego fish oh my god

[re-jeracize]

Zzz… ♡

[tiny-maus-boots]

Queen of Hearts pt 14

A/N: thank you as always to @chloes-yellow-cup for being my bestie and still doing all the things i hate to do. and a big thanks to @kimmania for your constant encouragement and supply of Legos. i love you awesome nerds. 

14.

“Hit me with your best shot…”

Aubrey’s long arm stretched out along the back of the dark leather of the modern style sofa she was settled on. For the most part she could tune out the dry croak from the desk, but…

“Why don’t you hit me with your best shot.”

This was the sixth time in an hour that she was hearing the song. She was going to have to remind Lilly to remove it from the jukebox after tonight.

“Hit me with your best shot…”

The rough warble across from her died down and she thought for a moment that the singer had finally drifted off asleep. Aubrey’s head turned to the screen that showed a live feed of the cameras around The Dirty Bird. Movement flickered though them as Stacie and the Doc walked between the tables and around the bar toward the back office. She turned her head to check on the figure standing but slumped over her desk only to find dark blue eyes watching and waiting for her attention. The small woman raised herself to her elbows from her slouch and belted out just as the door opened.

“FIRE AWAAAAYYYYY!!! Pew pew pew.”

Aubrey sighed as Detective Mitchell’s finger guns gave out on the click of her tongue and she collapsed back over the desk to cradle a half empty bottle of grappa, ass up where she stood. Stacie’s wide eyes panned slowly toward her, body bouncing lightly with barely restrained glee.

“Oh my God….” Chloe took one look at the Detective and pinned Aubrey with a glare. “How drunk is she?”

The blonde raised a shoulder as she considered. “She’s been worse.”

“Doc. Doooooocccc….I hurt. Right. Here.” Beca raised a hand and brought it back to point at her butt. Her finger wavered as she tried to locate the exact spot which caused the most pain and then pointed for emphasis with a little too much enthusiasm. “Right. OW. Here. OWIE.”

Stacie eased onto the sofa and settled in comfortably in Aubrey’s lap to watch Doc Beale work. The redhead moved behind Beca and settled her bag on the desk. She took a great steadying breath before wrestling away the grappa from the prone detective and snapping on a pair of gloves. Aubrey admired the way Doc Beale efficiently and deftly managed to get Beca’s jeans over her hips and halfway down her legs with practiced ease. Beca seemed to admire it too because she stirred enough to look blearily over her shoulder with a smile.

“If you wanted to check out my assetsssss Doc, you didn’t have to wait til I got stabbeded in it. Right. There. Ow.”

“Yes, I see. Please stop poking the wound in your ass cheek. How even….?”

“I was tailing my guy. My big fish. Fishy fishy fishy. That’s a fun word to say.” Chloe muttered something Aubrey couldn’t hear over Stacie’s soft chuckling. “I heard that! Plenty of people would be DE-FUCKING-lighted to spend their date night starin’ at a little of this action.”

Aubrey bit her lip to keep the laugh from breaking free as the detective wiggled her ass unmindful of the tight skinny jeans trapping her legs and toppled into a slide nearly off the desk before Chloe managed to grab and right her teetering form.

“Head down, ass up. Now tell me again how you managed to get stabbed in the butt cheek with glass?”

“You said that like you’re used to giving that order. I might be down for that, just be gentle with me.”

Beca gave her a leer that the doctor promptly ignored as she prepped her tools.

“Detective, remember that I have some very sharp instruments here that I am excellent with.”

Beca gave her a dubious look but obediently turned and bent over the desk again so the other woman could examine the wound. Chloe was utterly focused on the task of cleaning and debriding the punctures in a circular pattern. Aubrey had been sure it was going to require at least a few stitches from what she saw before she called for real medical help.

“I told you. I was following the big fish.”

“And you followed him into a bar I’m guessing.”

“Right, rule numero dos of detectivering. Don’t stick out like a sore thumb.”

Chloe blinked and looked up from her work to focus on Beca. “What’s numero uno?”

“That’s not a real number, Doc.”

“Solid rebuttal.”

“Did…did you just make pun of my rump? Oh my God I’m in love. I’d get down on one knee right now and propose. Except you’re feeling up my butt right now and that’s kinda nice.”

The doctor’s bright blue eyes narrowed and she jabbed the needle into the hunk of flesh she had just grabbed in preparation for the injection. She depressed the plunger quickly as her patient yelped and attempted to squirm away.

“HEATHEN! Oh God. I’m dying. Help. I’m dying, Dr. Kevorkian is killing me….my vision…I can’t see.”

“Open your eyes, idiot. That was just an antibiotic booster. Have you had a tetanus shot recently?”

“Pretend I said whatever answer will prevent you from being a literal pain in my ass.”

It was too much for Stacie and she turned her head to bury her laughter in Aubrey’s neck. The blonde tightened her grip on her fiancée and enjoyed a satisfying laugh at the detective’s expense. She hadn’t known what she’d find when she had gotten Beca’s distress call. They had all been on high alert since coming back to Los Angeles, trying to close ranks as best they could without being obvious about it. She had been waiting for an attack to come and her first thought when she had gotten the call was that it had finally begun. Each moment waiting in her office while Lilly retrieved the Detective from her hiding place in an abandoned warehouse building down at the port had been like a stone on her chest. She had needed this humor to ease the cold grip of fear on her heart.

Aubrey’s line of business didn’t lend itself to close relationships with members of law enforcement, at least not for long. What she and the Detective had was something altogether different than any of the other criminal-cop business agreements she had formed during her career. Beca was someone she trusted at her side, more…trusted at her back. The idea that someone would try to take her out was sobering and her laughter faded. Stacie sensed the change in her and cupped Aubrey’s face gently to bring their foreheads together. Words weren’t necessary for Stacie to understand what she was thinking and feeling. The blonde took a deep breath and straightened her spine. One hand came up to adjust and smooth her tie. If it had started…she wanted to know who was coming for her people.

“So, who’s the fish?”

Beca lifted her head from the desk and struggled to focus on Aubrey. It took her a few seconds to process the question. She seemed to have forgotten the conversation while Chloe worked silently to finish working on her wound.

“A security guard. He’s got bad taste in bars and also what I would loosely refer to as ladies.”

She couldn’t imagine where a security guard would fit in with Alice’s plans and frowned. Maybe this wasn’t about her. Beca had other cases she was working, maybe this was just another Tuesday night for the cop.

“A security guard? Sounds kind of small time for you.”

Denim blue eyes flashed to hers, some of the haze of alcohol burned away by intensity of her drive. The small brunette’s lips quirked into a smirk. Aubrey was suddenly very sure that nothing Beca did was small time or without a very good reason.

“It only takes a small stone in the right place to make a rockslide.”

Chloe slowed her movements as she finished her work. Something about what Beca said must have been interesting to the doctor because she kept her attention on the detective while she cleaned up the trash and peeled her gloves off to toss in the black plastic trash bag left there for that purpose. Aubrey guessed she was re-evaluating her previous estimations of the foul mouthed, perpetually smug, woman.

“You’re not wrong, Bec. So, what’s this small stone guarding?”

“Not what. Where. Dude works at the port.” She grunted and stood gingerly with a backward glance at her own butt. “Hm. Nice, think chicks will dig the scar?”

If Chloe had been considering there may be more to Beca than outrageous flirtation it was only a brief passing fantasy. She sighed and rolled her eyes then glared at Aubrey.

“18, Aubrey.” It was almost enough to make her face split into a grin and she had to turn her chuckle into a soft cough. Chloe tied up the bag and dropped it in the trashcan sure that it would be disposed of carefully. It wasn’t the first time she’d had to patch one of them up, they knew the drill by now. “You owe me so big.”

“I’m good for it. So, Detective, what about this dock rat?”

Beca stopped checking herself out long enough to pull her pants up and wink at Chloe before answering. Doc pretended not to notice but Aubrey could see her watching Beca from the corner of her eye while she played around with the tools in her bag.

“When I figure how he connects to Richie Rich, I’ll let you know.”

Stacie’s body tensed in her arms and Aubrey glanced at her curiously. Her girl chewed her lower lip in thought, a habit that Aubrey found adorable. “Something on your mind, Stace?”

“It’s probably nothing. Just something Edith said about someone I went to prom with. His dad got him a job down at the docks.” Stacie shrugged it off but Aubrey could tell she was still chewing on it. “Probably just coincidence.”

Aubrey and Beca exchanged a look. After a lifetime of double crosses and plot twists, neither of them believed in coincidences. The detective dug around in her pocket for her phone. She wasn’t quite sober yet but a hell of a lot steadier than a few moments ago. Aubrey snatched the phone easily out of the air when it was tossed her way and glanced at the screen.

It was a video and she angled it so Stacie could see too. Her fiancée pressed play and sighed. Beca could be heard in the background giving a lot of very specific direction to the two women practically fucking on a pool table in a disgusting looking rathole of a bar. Aubrey was pretty sure the women were hookers and the corner of her mouth quirked in amusement. Stacie took the phone out of her hand turned it to face back to the detective.

“Really Beca?”

“I thought it was pretty good for my directorial debut. But your gutter brain is making you miss the real show.”

Aubrey took the phone back and focused on the whole scene. Behind the women in a shadowed booth two men were clearly having an animated discussion. One was further into the shadow than the other but his gestures were strong and decisive. She watched as the other, younger seeming, man’s gestures became conciliatory and submissive the longer the conversation went on. In the foreground a flurry of noise and activity caused the camera to shake and wildly as if it were being swung around. There were glimpses of rough faces and snatches of shouts and curses. At one point there was a good stretch of scuffed flooring where she assumed Beca had been crawling away from the obvious brawl happening around her.

The camera came up again in time to catch the men leaving their booth in a hurry. Each of them caught in the neon blue glow from beer signs on the walls. Stacie snatched the phone out of her hand and hit pause. Long legs dropped down to the floor from the sofa and she stood in shock.

“Bree…this is Senator Grant. The guy he’s with is his son Kodie, we went to high school...Jesus Christ…”

“You know him?”

“Weston stole his money.”

They looked at each other then turned twin green-eyed gazes on Detective Mitchell. The small woman’s brow was furrowed in thought, her lower lip caught between her teeth as she worried it.

“The kid is on the videos.”

Mitchell didn’t have to say which videos, they all knew. Even Doc Beale. Stacie looked away from them, uncomfortable with the knowledge that she had been in some of those videos. Aubrey let out a long settling breath and stood. She gently took the phone from Stacie’s shaking hand and brought it to lips to brush a soft kiss over Stacie’s wrist. It gave her a wan smile but it was something. Stacie would be okay. Aubrey looked down at the phone and watched the video again. And again. And once more. She studied every gesture, every twitch of posture, every unconscious expression she could make out.

“I want the kid. He’s the weak link.”

Beca grunted and limped around the desk to grab her keys and helmet, ready to go back to work with a hole in her ass nearly as big as the one in her pants. It wasn’t going to happen that way and Aubrey reached out to snag both items from the sidebar and hand them to Stacie who easily placed them on a shelf far too high for Detective Mitchell to reach without finding a stand on.

“White she devil.”

“Sorry, Bec. Can’t have you half-assing anything.”

She didn’t like it and Aubrey could tell but Beca sighed and grunted. “Solid burn.”

Aubrey gave her a quick grin then turned to eye the Doctor who was watching them all curiously. Her gaze met Aubrey’s and a brow went up. Honestly, she almost felt a little bad about needing to have the Doc take Beca somewhere safe. She didn’t ask, she didn’t need to. Chloe knew what she was thinking and started to shake her head no until Beca tried to drag a chair over to the get her stuff.

“I really hate you, Aubrey Posen.”

“No, you don’t, Doc.”

“You WILL be making a very large donation to St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital.”

“Absolutely.”

“And vacation for my office girls. Two weeks!”

“I’ll buy the plane tickets myself.”

“And if she pisses me off just once I will trank her and leave her on a park bench.”

The last was a bluff but Aubrey treated the threat seriously. “Understood. Anything else?”

“….I’ll think of something!” Aubrey bit back another grin and nodded seriously. She slipped her hands into her pockets as the doctor steeled herself mentally to take on Beca. “Come one Detective, as much as this pains me to say…you’re coming home with me.”

Beca dropped the helmet she had finally just retrieved on the ground and left it like discarded trash to limp over to Chloe. “Okay.”

“God…you’re so easy.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing, Doc.”

Chloe gave her a final glare and slung the detective’s arms over her shoulder to help her limp out of the office. Stacie settled the length of her body along Aubrey’s back, hands coming up to finger the buttons of her vest.

“How well do you know this Kodie, joker?”

Stacie hmmm thoughtfully. “Not as well as I did in high school. Edith told me he got caught up in some trouble recently. I think I know how we can get to him though.”

“How?”

“He likes cocaine and paying for his um let’s call them dates. I had Happy make some calls for you.”

The smile came to her face easily and she leaned into Stacie’s embrace. This wasn’t anything like what her mom and dad had. Her mother had never been this involved in what her father did for work. She had kept as distant from it as she could, turning her nose up at the family that protected them, running from the darkness of the business. Stacie would never do that to her. She knew it all way down to the bottom of soul. Aubrey turned in her arms and brought their heads together.

“You got more cards up your sleeve than a Vegas croupier, you know that?”

“Hmm. I learned from the best.”

Aubrey closed the distance, her brushing softly over Stacie’s. There were a lot of words she could say about how she felt about the woman in her arms. She could probably write pages on it, but words didn’t matter half as much as action did. She was going to marry this woman and spend her life giving her the best of everything. They were going to be happy and she didn’t care who she had to kill to make it happen.

“Let me take you home?”

“Aubrey…in your arms? I’m already there.”

[blueposthings]

Tell The World (Reader x Peter Parker)

Warnings: Language

Word count: 1.1k+

Being an Avenger at your young age pretty much came in a package with being Peter Parker’s best friend. When you moved from your parents’ house in DC to the Avengers Compound in New York, Tony and Steve convinced you to be Peter’s patrol buddy whenever you were free. They said it was so you could bond, but you already went to the same school with Peter and hung out with him and his friends. It was obvious to you and Peter it was really so you could babysit each other; make sure no one ends up dead. At first, you were opposed to the idea but after a few weeks, you’ve learnt that Peter was actually a joy to be around and that’s how you two ended up where you are now.

Sitting on the ledge of an apartment building with a croissant on your hands and a sandwich on Peter’s, you listened to Peter ramble about the Lego set he just purchased.

“-and it’s life sized! It’s even longer than my whole arm. I think I might take it to the lab, tweak it a little bit, see if I can make it light up like an actual lightsaber.” The bottom half of his face was uncovered and between his chewing and talking, Peter didn’t let his mouth rest. “Ned is going to be so jealous. Wait until he knows about-”

Just then, the police scanner sitting in between you and the boy let out a familiar static buzz.

“We’ve got a 211A on the corner of South and Main. At least three suspects, all armed-”

“Damn,” you grumbled as you picked up your mask, “I’m not even finished with my croissant yet.”

Peter chuckled as he himself tossed his sandwich aside and fixed the position of his own face covering. “Maybe you should tell the burglars to be more mindful of your dinner schedule next time.”

“Haha, very funny.” You adjusted the gloves on your hands as you got up from your seat, waiting for your friend to finish getting ready. 

You were about to jump off the roof when Peter gasped, catching your attention. “Hold on! Wait!”

“What?”

He fished out his phone from the black backpack sitting beside the ledge you were on. “I promised my fans I’m going to do a livestream tonight.”

Most of your face was covered but you were sure your incredulous expression was perfectly conveyed. “Your fans?”

“Yeah! I have an Instagram account now, remember?” He shrugged as he typed on his phone.

“For Spiderman?”

Peter hummed in confirmation.

You shook your head in disbelief and amusement. “You really are something else, Parker.”

“Okay,” he shot you a look. “Remember to not call me by my actual name?”

You rolled your eyes playfully at his needless concern. “Yeah, yeah, okay. Just hurry it up, would ya?”

You heard a chuckle from the boy before he finally put his phone against his torso, just below where his Spiderman emblem is embedded on his suit, attaching the device with his webs.

“Wow. Seriously?” You remarked again.

“What? Improvise, adapt, overcome.” He said with a tint of smirk on his tone. “I’m not gonna hold my phone while I swing, that’s like texting while driving!” With that he pushed himself off the ledge, catching his own body midair as he put his web shooters to use.

You could only shake your head at your friend’s antics before following suit, your powers keeping you from falling to the ground below.

--------------------------

It was a pretty quick save, the burglars were amateurs and nervous. You and Peter took your sweet time in taking them down though, it was always fun to mess with some criminals every now and then (because between me and you, the Avengers are not always the best people to play pranks on).

By the time the police arrived, the culprits were already safely apprehended and all that was left to do for them was take the men to custody. Your partner was talking to one of the officers as you finished giving your own statement to another and you decided to check your phone -thank Stark for giving you pockets on your suit. 

Your eyebrows creased in confusion when you saw 12 missed calls from MJ, 7 from Ned, and almost fifty text messages from the both of them. 

Ne(r)d: please tell me ure w peter

Ne(r)d: oh my god this cant be happening

Ne(r)d: Y/N ANSWER MY CALLS PLEASE

MJ♕: beat peter’s ass for me

MJ♕: how is it possible for one to be so stupid

MJ♕: y/n 

MJ♕: y/n i dont like phone calls u know that

MJ♕: but please just once, answer me bitch

You were about to call MJ back when you finally saw a notification that wasn’t from either of your friends.

Instagram

[y/n__] pparker108 started a live video. Watch it before it ends!

“Oh shit.” You muttered under your breath, staring at your screen.

“What? What is it?” You heard a familiar voice approaching you. “Everything alright?”

You felt like your eyes were about to pop out when you turned. Your gaze immediately going to the cellphone still plastered to Peter’s suit, feeling the stare of the camera on you. Your arm shot up in a pointless attempt of covering the camera and ending the stream.

Peter opened his mouth to question you but you beat him to it by coming close to his figure and whispering in his ear harshly, “you went live on the wrong account, stupid.”

The mechanical eyes of his suit’s mask widen almost comically. He ripped off the phone on his chest and ended the livestream with a quick press of a button. At this point, his hands were trembling and you could see his jaw was slack opened beneath the mask.

“I- wh- h-” Peter stuttered, his brain was going into overdrive and you don’t know whether to feel bad or laugh your ass off.

You still haven’t decided either when the phone on Peter’s hand buzzed to life. The screen showed a picture of possibly the last person Peter would want to talk to at the moment. You didn’t think it was possible but his eyes went even wider as his head shot up to look at you, silently begging for your help.

You cringed in sympathy before slowly backing away. “Good luck?” 

“I- wha- you can’t leave me to deal with this alone!” The phone was still intensely buzzing against the skin of his palm. 

You ignored him and instead turned your body around, making the boy groan in exasperation.

He finally slid the answer button of his phone. With a nervous waver in his voice he answered ��hi, Mr. Stark-”

You snickered. Gathering your powers to lift you off the ground, you left your friend on the sidewalk of the grocery store hoping that the abomination people call pigeons haven’t finished your dinner yet.

[secretive3amramenmaker]

My Opinions On Jujutsu Kaisen That Literally Nobody Asked For

I finished binging the Jujutsu Kaisen manga in 48 hours. I am having some expresso, because I’m depresso.

Here’s a Sad Stitch to show you how I feel.

(And of course, warnings for discussion/ranting/kinda meta on the Jujutsu Kaisen manga below the cut, so please read at your own discretion!)

Sukuna is truly a Bastard™, along with Mahito. 

I just- *cries in Shibuya Arc aka PAIN*

*Pulls out megaphone* Nanamin. 

That’s all folks. Thanks for reading, have a nice day!

.

.

.

.

.

(Just kidding!)

Ugh, NANAMIN 👏 WHAT 👏 A 👏 MAN 😭 😭 😭 😭 I became a certified Nanami stan once I saw the tired business man aesthetic (plus, his words about how work is shit? Truer words have never been spoken), and his little speech about adults and responsibility, how children no matter their circumstances are still children, and should be given the opportunity to act as such. Because, YES, FINALLY, A RESPONSIBLE ADULT WITH THE VOICE OF AN ANGEL aka the voice of Kenjiro Tsuda

Anyways, I love how the Jujutsu Kaisen manga shows that adults can handle things, and that is A-OKAY!!! If Jujutsu Tech follows the Japanese school system, Yuji is a first year in high school, so he’s probably 15 or 16 years old, way too early to go through Shibuya level of trauma (though, I think anybody is too young to have to go through what happened to Yuji in Shibuya). 

Children should have the privilege to be children. That doesn’t mean coddling, it means that children should have plenty of time to experience new things, enjoy being a child, and I’m so happy Nanami says this! 

In conclusion, Nanami deserves happiness and a vacation to Kuantan 🥺

YOSHINO JUNPEI!!! He and his mom deserve happiness, they’re both precious beans. I didn’t even realize Junpei was dead until 5+ chapters later. But it was too late, for I had already gotten attached!!! *cue curse worthy screeching* 

I was so excited for Junpei to join Jujutsu Tech, too! I had this whole headcanon of Junpei being HAPPY again, talking about movies with Yuji, interacting with the other first years, him seeing Panda for the first time!!! The thing was, back then, it wasn’t headcanon! I thought it was going to be facts, until Gege said ‘lol, you thought, peasant’, before spitting on any hope of mine for a happy Junpei.

(On a completely different tangent, I would be SO psyched if I got to meet a talking panda, we could act out all of “Kung Fu Panda” together, especially the chopstick scene, and maybe we could go to a zoo, just to mess with the zookeepers about a honest to god PANDA walking on its hind legs around the zoo)

‘If Junpei had lived’ is a phrase I think about a lot, and I think that is why the “Young Fish and Reverse Punishment” arc  was so crucial to the story and yet so tragic. 

Junpei has so much potential to be happy, and then he didn’t get the happiness he deserves. It really sets the tone, the high stakes to the whole manga, for we see the amount of damage a curse inflicts on somebody who could be in a situation like Junpei. 

As the readers, we understand the reasoning behind Junpei’s ideology, sympathizing with him as we see what horrible torment he has to go through. That very first scene of this arc, where the bullies made him eat the cockroach and BURNED HIM WITH A LIT CIGARETTE, and the teacher who saw all of this happening, JUST TURNS AWAY!!! It was haunting. But finally, finally, we get a light at the tunnel for Junpei in the form of our lord and saviour, the cinnamon roll of cinnamon rolls, Itadori Yuji. HERE is a person who is able to connect with Junpei, who wouldn’t dismiss how Junpei’s circumstances or feelings. and then Junpei dies.

(look at this cute face, how could you Mahito?!)

Also, the symbolism in the opening? The Junpei fish ENLARGING??? HNKDJSFLJDSF JUNPEI NOOO-

Also ALSO (sorry this is the last ‘also’), did we ever learn if Junpei was a sorcerer, or was he a window that possessed enough talent to summon a shikigami? I at first thought Junpei was a window, since he was able to see Mahito, and was hoping that we’d get a more detailed explanation of what windows actually do. (Do they just wander around Tokyo, or wherever they live, and act all ‘La Dee Da, just living my regular, normal life, oOOHHH is that a special grade? Tell that to the sorcerers, maybe I’ll get a bonus!’ Is their life basically a demented version of Pokemon Go? I have so many questions-)

All the villains were well written, and had super cool character designs. My top three villains other than Sukuna, my top three villains are Geto, and Mahito.

Geto’s backstory in the Hidden Inventory arc was so incredibly written, I especially liked the way Gege wrote how Getou’s righteous ideals gradually deteriorating throughout the Hidden Inventory arc as he realizes the depth of the curses of humanity, the dark hatred the “weak” hold towards things they have no understanding of. (i.e. Riko’s death by the Star Religious Group, Haibara’s death, and finally the villagers ignorant treatment and abuse towards Geto’s twins, Mimiko and Nanako, beating and imprisoning them for “causing” the deaths of the villagers) Geto’s chilling charisma and the reasoning behind his actions as a villain makes him a top tier villain in my eyes. 

As for Mahito, I love to hate him, and that why I think he is a great antagonist. I guess I’ve just been seeing a lot of villains that because of their tragic backstories, the readers or characters sympathize with them and rationalising their actions, turning the villain into a flaky antihero of lesser impact. It’s very refreshing to have a villain who is just pure evil. 

I think that Mahito fulfilled his purpose as an antagonist very well; his twisted ideals on the worth of human life foiling Itadori’s own ideals of giving others a “proper death”, the curse making Yuji continuously adapt both physically and mentally to defeat him. Physically, by learning new spells and techniques to defeat Mahito, such as the Black Flash (and possibly his own cursed technique! The weird “Past That Never Happened” in the fights with Choso and Todo), or mentally, by questioning his ideals, such as what exactly is a “proper death”, after Yuji had to kill the transfigured humans. 

(Ew look at this worm.)

Some Honorable Mentions of Good Villains IMO: Jogo, because I find his ideals of curses, who stem from the true emotions of hatred and fear, being superior yet suppressed by the emotionally faceted humans is definitely fascinating, and eerily reminds me of Geto’s hatred towards non sorcerers.  Dagon was pretty cute in his Cursed Womb stage, and I really liked Hanami because the eldritch environmentalist aesthetic is pretty coolio  👌 .

How do Inumaki children learn to speak if all the adults barely talk, only saying inane words like “salmon” and NOT ACTUALLY meaning “salmon, the fish” but an adult secret code for a definition that you might not even know?? Or do the adults just charmspeak the kids, like “SPEAK small child, and have full language comprehension, O tiny ball of pudge!” and boom! Babies talking in complete sentences, maybe understanding weird adult customs. Will the child know when then adult actually mean salmon, the fish, and not the code word salmon?

Let’s assume that Inumaki clan children from learning to speak to four or six years old will be able to speak normally until the clan technique sets in (because that’s when the jjk wiki says cursed techniques kick in). How do you explain to a toddler: “Hey sweetie, happy birthday, have a present! Oh, by the way, those cool tattoos of yours mean that you can’t talk normally to anybody anymore, EVER. Only using these specific words as code to mean these specific meanings, restricting any chance of normal interactions with non-sorcerers if by some inane chance you DON’T want to become a child soldier jujutsu sorcerer. Welp, guess you have to become a jujutsu sorcerer now! Make sure to restrict your choice of words, you could kill somebody! Have fun playing with your Legos honey, welcome to adult life.” Like, EXCUSE ME? 

You can’t tell mw a four year old is expected to understand that (or didn’t kill somebody by accident via cursed speech. That MUST have happened at least once). 

This is all an elaborate way of saying please give us Inumaki backstory, I’m very curious.

Anyways, thank you for reading my post, and I hope you have a nice day!

[iamakiller]

FaceTime with Nicole

It’s Self-Care Sunday.  The one day a month Nicole gets to herself.

Henry spent the night at her mom’s yesterday, so Nicole was able to sleep in until the blissful hour of ten. No demands for breakfast.  No cartoons on full blast in the living room.  And absolutely no terrifying drives to the emergency room with an eight year old boy bleeding and crying all over the cream interior of the car.

No, none of that.  Today is all about Nicole.

Face mask on and tub of low-fat non-dairy ice cream beside her on the couch, she has just queued up the first episode of the new season of The Crown on Netflix when her phone goes off.

Of course it’s Charlie.

Fuck.

She answers it without thinking, forgetting that it’s a FaceTime call, so the first thing Charlie says is a rather shocked, “Jesus, Nicole!  What the hell have you done to your face?” and then he starts laughing.

She would scowl at him, but the mask has already started to dry, and she doesn’t want to have to deal with cleaning up shards of it off the couch. “It’s Amazonian Clay,” she tells him shortly.  “Great for anti-aging.  I’ll send you the link, if you want.  You should try it.”

Twenty seconds in to their conversation, and she’s already fired the first shot.  Must be a new record.  But it’s better to start off that way, isn’t it?  Assert dominance before her ex starts running rings around her.  Talking down to her.  Like he always does.

Charlie’s lips briefly press into a thin line, but he doesn’t reply.  The silence stretches … and stretches … and stretches.  Nicole begins to feel stupid and uncomfortable.  Beside her, the ice cream is already beginning to melt.

She cracks first, as always.  “What do you want?” she demands.  “You know Henry’s at my mom’s, right?”

“Yes, I know,” he replies.  She can’t see him rolling his eyes, but she can definitely hear it in the tone of his voice.  “That’s why I’m calling now. I wanted to talk to you without the possibility of him listening in.”

“O-kay,” she says, very slowly.  Now that she thinks about it, he looks rather more serious than usual.  Almost nervous.  And Charlie rarely looks anything but smug, self-satisfied and supremely confident. “You have ten minutes before I need to wash this mask off.  I’m listening.”

Charlie takes a breath ... and then hesitates, as though he doesn’t know where to begin.  Which once again, is completely unlike him.  In the absence of him speaking, Nicole’s mind starts running riot with the possibilities of what he’s about to say.  Maybe he’s going to jail for murder!  Maybe he has cancer!  Maybe he’s relocating to Europe and she’ll never have to see him again …

“It’s about Britt,” he begins, and then stops again, chewing on the inside of his lip in that annoying way he does sometimes.

Nicole frowns.  A puff of dust falls off the face mask, and drops onto the front of her nice white bathrobe, staining it pink.  That name again.  It’s been over a year, and that woman is still around, and Nicole can’t understand why.  Henry talks about her quite often, and has a photo of her, Charlie and himself on his nightstand. Nicole glanced at the photo just once, when Henry had been waving it in her face.  She remembers thinking that Britt didn’t look anything like her.  She didn’t look anything like those floozies Nicole used to convince herself Charlie was just flirting with, either …  “Oh?” she says, in the most disinterested tone anyone in the world has ever used.  “What about her?”

Charlie runs his hand through his hair twice, even though it looks annoyingly perfect as always.  “She’s been offered a transfer at work. We’ll be relocating next month -”

Oh, thank god, Nicole thinks, relief rushing to her head so quickly she almost feels drunk with it. Please let it be far away.  Like Europe.  Or Africa.  Or the moon.  

“- to LA.”

There’s a faint buzzing in her ears.  Her jaw tightens involuntarily.  A couple more chunks fall off the mask, and flutter down onto her robe. “I’m sorry,” she says, softly.  Dangerously.  “I must be hearing things.  I thought you just said you’re moving to LA.”

The bastard actually gulps, but he sounds extremely patronizing when he responds, “I did.  I wanted to let you know as early as possible. I thought it was only fair to keep you in the loop, as it were.”

Fair? Fair?  There is a tirade of words beginning to creep up her throat like a tsunami of bile.  But all she does is nod slowly, and all she says is, “I understand.”

She watches his shoulders slump slightly, and a smile begin to appear. “Okay, good-”

“I just think it’s funny how you’re deciding to do it now.”  The words tumble out of her mouth.  She hadn’t even known she was going to say them.  Hadn’t even thought them.  And now there they are, hanging in the air between them like a bad smell.

The smile fades, and Charlie’s brow creases as he begins to frown. “Excuse me, what?”  He’s keeping his voice quiet and calm.  The hand that isn’t holding the phone is raised, palm facing her, as though he is trying to deal with some rabid animal.

Well, two can play at that game.  Where she blurted out her last sentence, now she speaks slowly, enunciating every word quite clearly.  “It’s really interesting how you promised you were going to move out here two years ago, and then you changed your mind at the last minute.  But now that she wants to-”

The fingers on the raised hand are now flexing slightly.  “We’ve talked about this so many times. You know I’ve been trying to think of a way to make this happen -”

“BULLSHIT!” she yells.  In the quiet of the house, it echoes slightly, so it sounds like there are several Nicoles all calling him on his crap.

That stops him right in his tracks.  Half the goddamn mask has just cracked off, but it was worth it to see the bastard shit himself like that for once. But he’s still not rising to her bait, like she wants him to.  Like she knows he wants to.  He clears his throat.  “Nicole … sweetheart … let’s be reasonable …”

Nicole grits her teeth.  Fucking fucker.  “Don’t you dare ‘sweetheart’ me, Charlie Barber!  Don’t you fucking dare tell me to be reasonable.  I’m just pointing out a fact here.  You wouldn’t do it for Henry.  You wouldn’t move to LA for your own son.  But you’ll do it for her-”

“No. NO -”  Finally, he’s starting to lose his cool.  Finally.

She rolls her eyes.  “Sure, Charlie.”

His mouth opens and closes several times like a fish before he speaks again.  “Listen, Nicole.  Listen.  We’re doing it because I want to be closer to Henry.”

She snorts.  “It’s always about what you want, isn’t it?”

He’s pointing at her now, finger stabbing to emphasize every word he says. “That’s not true-”

This time, she lets out a mirthless HA!  “I get it, Charlie.  Now it’s convenient for you, you’re going to do it.  Well maybe it’s not convenient for us.  Maybe we don’t want you here.  Have you even thought about that?”

His big, stupid mouth snaps shut.  His face has gone even paler than usual.  He’s staring at her like she’s just slapped him.  “What?”

“You can’t just do whatever you want, Charlie.  That’s not how it works.”

He opens his mouth to respond, but she has already hung up on him.

She slams the phone down on the couch, and marches up the stairs to the bathroom to wash the mask off.  It hasn’t been anywhere near ten minutes yet, but she needs to do something; needs to distract herself from the way her hands have begun to shake, and her eyes have started to sting. Even from upstairs, she can hear the phone ringing and ringing, but she ignores it as she dabs her face dry with a towel, then applies toner, moisturizer, eye cream, and a lip mask, all without looking at her reflection in the bathroom mirror.

By the time she’s finished, the phone has stopped ringing.  Nicole straightens her robe and leaves the bathroom, but instead of taking a left and heading back downstairs, she turns right into Henry’s room.  She steps over and around the minefield of Lego that Henry promised he was going to clean up before her mom picked him up last night, sits down on the edge of his unmade bed, and after a few moments turns her gaze towards the photo she’s looked at only once before.

It was taken outside the Museum of Natural History last winter vacation, judging by their attire.  Henry is standing in the middle, clutching his latest haul of dinosaur merchandise, and pulling a funny face at the camera. Both Charlie and the woman have a hand on Henry’s shoulder, and an arm around each other.  Her head is resting against Charlie’s chest, and he is looking down at her and Henry with a small, soft smile.

They look like a family, Nicole thinks, feeling slightly sick.

And just like that, Self-Care Sunday is over.

[firstpuffin]

The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening remake

-Note: It’s kind of embarrassing to admit but my comments around the visuals of A Link to the Past and Link’s Awakening are straight-up incorrect. The two games did not share the same visual style and I honestly don’t know why I said that; I most definitely knew better. Still, I’m not going to get rid of it because the internet needs more examples of people admitting to be being wrong.

I say a lot that I want to be positive, but it’s really gonna be hard with this one. See, at the latest Nintendo Direct it was announced that they would be releasing a remake of the 26 year old game, The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening. As it happens I was already considering writing something about this game in a “Games from my Childhood” article, but that would actually have been positive! This one is… well, I’m going to at least try and balance every negative with a positive.

-at least the title screen looks good-

  So where to begin: I won’t cover the story because spoilers but how about some personal background? The game came out a year before I did (ha! bad jokes) and I have no idea when I got my grubby little paws on it, but it was a part of my life genuinely for as long as I can remember, along with the Pokémon games. I never completed it as a child, but my memories of it were so good that I returned to it as an adult and completed it, learning its sad secret.

-hey! according to this it released the same year I did; me getting my years mixed up I guess-

  Link’s Awakening (LA) was originally a pet project made outside of work hours which is why it borrows resources from other games such as the Mario series, but it was eventually released to critical acclaim. The gameplay is much the same as its immediate predecessor A Link to the Past (LttP), but with a number of new items and a unique soundtrack. Visually it is much the same as well, although its original release was black and white for the GameBoy with Link’s Awakening DX adding colour for the GameBoy Colour.

  So let’s start with the visuals as that is most of what we have right now: the original shared its visuals with LttP what with them using the same assets (tools, resources etc) and LttP had a sequel recently that looked really nice. But the upcoming LA remake looks nothing like it; I wouldn’t expect it to but when a defence of the artistic choice is that “it’s an update of the original graphics” (so why not use the assets from the LttP remake?) or that it somehow “reflects the atmosphere of the original” except there’s no reason for it to be any different to, again, the LttP remake. And in response to the “atmosphere”, LA was one of the darker yet in some ways more whimsical games; this new style is childish to the extreme.

  Don’t get me wrong, I love something that is good and childish, but there is a level when it stops being great and starts to feel like they condescend to the player. Bright colours, simple faces, high pitched noises- Oh god the noises!! I’ll expand on the sounds later but I’m still on the visuals. I’ve heard the game described as looking like Claymation, which isn’t wrong, but my immediate thought was that it looked like cheap plastic. And after watching it again and again as I discussed it with a friend, this opinion stuck.

-tell me this doesn’t look like claymation; this isn’t a game, it’s an animated short film-

  You know how shiny and tacky cheap plastic usually looks? Imagine an entire game like that; an entire world like that. Fans of anime may understand what I say next, but there is a large element of “chibi” in this new game. Large head, tiny body. It’s often seen in short 4 minute spin offs of popular series.

-as you can see, chibi is hardly meant to be taken seriously-

-just to hammer things home-

  So shiny plastic, silly chibi art with a soulless expression. Oh yeah, that. Link’s eyes have zero soul behind them. Zero. He’s a freakin’ monster. Have you seen those Funko Pops? You know how empty they look? Some have said it somehow reflects the original game’s art again, but back then they didn’t have the technology to make him look soulless and young me always thought he looked determined; it was really cool.

-determined; dead inside-

Okay, so I said I would try and be fair, and I have shat upon the plasticine toy-box long enough, so here’s what is good visually. The areas are actually really nice. 

Ignoring the nail varnish sheen on everything, things are really detailed. There is an unfortunate trend in games, likely due to technical limitations, to have flat textures. Basically, imagine the difference between a tile or wood panel floor, and a picture of a tile or wood panel floor. But this game looks to have really tried in these areas. The grass looks thick and lush, tiles look like more than a photograph on the floor and even the flat flowers on the ground look decent. Just a shame it all looks like LEGO. Actually, a LEGO Zelda game would be awesome. But this is not that.

  I haven’t explained that very well, it’s an area that I am new at but I will say that clearly a lot of care has gone into the assets and the world. It is not a lazy game in any way.

-don’t tell me those trees and rocks and- well, everything, don’t look like LEGO-

Next I’m going to talk about the sound. First of all, I’m convinced that they have artificially increased the pitch of Link’s voice so it is painfully sharp to the ears. I’ll admit, I have an unusual sensitivity to lights and sound and thus I prefer darker colours and quieter sounds; I avoid clubs like the plague and not just because I’ll likely catch it there. So maybe, just maybe, I’m noticing something that won’t be a problem for most, and is just unfortunate for me. And let’s ignore that it doesn’t match the darker tone of the game.

  And the music? Also quite high pitched. And super cheery. It doesn’t have either the dreamlike or dark tones that could be expected (and just thinking of how it could be dreamlike gives me shivers; it could be so good) but is instead inanely cheery. In fact, I hope they sped everything up for the trailer and the pitch is just an unfortunate side-effect.

  On the plus side, the trailer opens with a cool cinematic and I swear the music changes from a nice, cheerful rendition (I don’t dislike cheerful in-and-of-itself) of the Zelda main theme to the death squeals of various instruments that I mentioned before. On top of that, it ends on a really nice vocal version of the LA theme, Ballad of the Wind Fish. If the trailer had been the cinematic and that closing song alone then I would be beyond excited about the remake. Thank heaven it wasn’t, I’m not sure my love of the series could survive such a plummeting disappointment.

-and here’s the actual trailer for your perusal- 

So I’ll finish here. I was originally very pleased, excited even that they had decided to remake what was a favourite, underrated and apparently forgotten game, but I kept my expectations low because I knew what to expect from these companies. I thought I did anyway. I was still disappointed. I thought I had prepared for the worst. Still, at least it gave me something to write about.

  But, the game has clearly had a lot of work put into it and gameplay-wise it actually looks to flow really well so I’m sure it controls like a treat. But the visuals and music are too big of a deal for me to let slide; if it keeps up like this then it could literally be painful for me to play. Still, games do change a lot from the initial trailer to its release and I even put forth an idea of why the sound may hurt me so much here. Maybe the final game will be a lot better. Unfortunately, the things I want to be done in games and such rarely are, and I am often alone in my complaints.

And finally, yes I am aware that the famous and incredibly popular Wind Waker entry in the series also had similar complaints and became, as I said, incredibly popular. I wasn’t a part of that crowd, I was too young and honestly, Link’s Awakening was the only Zelda game I had actually played at that time. 

[builder051]

Okay but... can you imagine how sick Peter would be if he ate a bunch of left over Halloween candy thinking it'd be fine in the morning cause of his metabolism but then Tony called and he had to swing around the city for a while? He'd probably manage to keep it down until he got to the tower and then he'd dizzily stumble towards the bathroom but end up loosing it in the hallway on Tony's shoes since Tony was concerned about him and grabbed Peter's shoulder to spin him around or something...

Thank you so much for this!  It’s possibly the most excellent prompt ever!  And you @wiseinnerwhispers, you make the world go ‘round with all the support and love you give.  

So here you go.  I think I messed up the details a little bit, and I don’t even want to talk about the timeline. ��But this does take place right after my last Spiderman fic, No sympathy.

___

Peter wakes and immediately looks at the clock.  It’s 6:59. His alarm will be blaring in a minute. He blearily reaches out to turn of the device before it can startbeeping at him.  May’s given himpermission to miss school if he still feels as sick as he did yesterday, but asPeter lifts his head, there’s no echoing throb. It’s a relief.

He slides out of bed and heads to the bathroom to wash hisface and brush his teeth, stepping a little harder than he normally would justto test his luck.  The resultantvibrations die out around his shins and leave his head alone, and the taste oftoothpaste doesn’t turn his stomach, so Peter decides he’s ok.  

He kicks it into high gear and goes back to his bedroom todress and pack up his backpack.  Petergrabs his suit from the back of his desk chair where he’d thrown it last night,shakes it, and gives it an experimental sniff. It’s a little sweaty, but the god-awful scent of homeless man’s potsmoke has dissipated.  He wads up thespandex fabric and tucks it into the bottom of his backpack.  

Peter barrels through the kitchen, almost knocking AuntMay’s orange juice to the floor as he throws pop tarts into the toaster andlooks for something to toss in his bag for lunch.

“Feeling better this morning?” May asks, looking up from thenewspaper.  

“Oh, yeah,” Peter says, still scanning the pantry.  “I don’t know what hit me, but I’m finenow.”  He spies a half-finished bag ofcandy corn and a handful of fun-size Milky Ways, and Peter sweeps them into hisbackpack.

“Maybe just had to clear your system,” May suggests.  Then, “Are you taking all my candy?”

“Um.”  Peter hastensto put a few of the chocolates back.

“No, go ahead,” May says, smiling to show she was joking thefirst time.  “You didn’t really get tocelebrate last night.”

“But, I mean, I could leave some.”

“Take it.  Or I will eat it all, and I can’t afford newjeans,” May jokes.  “I’d give a lot tohave that teenaged boy metabolism.”

“Hm,” Peter muses, feeling a little guilty that his growinghunger lately has forced an increase in the grocery budget.  He forgoes dropping cheese crackers into hisbackpack as well.

The toaster spits out the pop tarts, and Peter takes one ineach hand, clamped between his thumbs and index fingers so the steaming pastrieswon’t burn him.  “See ya, May,” Petercalls, transferring one pop tart to his mouth as he lets himself out the frontdoor.

“See ya,” May echoes.

Peter wolfs down his breakfast as he dashes to school.  He hadn’t realized the hunger gnawing at thecorners of his stomach, but now that he thinks about it, he didn’t have much ofa dinner last night, and most of it ended up splatted on a street corner and inthe toilet.  It makes the pop tarts tasteextra good, like the food of the gods. Which, who knows? Maybe they are.

His morning classes pass quickly, and Peter does his best tofocus on algebra and chemistry and history even though his mind is on otherthings.  He didn’t do that great of a jobof patrolling the neighborhood last night, and he forgot to call Mr. Stark andleave a message.  A mission report.  If Mr. Stark asks about it, he’ll just tellthe truth and say he was sick, which is perfectly valid reason for an excusedabsence.  But it still doesn’t seem likea great track record for a superhero.

During lunch, Peter hides out in the band room with Ned towork on the Lego death- star-in-progress. Ned has a treasure trove of Halloween booty to share, somehow includingthe diamonds of watermelon sour patch kids and multiple full-size chocolatebars.  Peter adds his candy corn andmilky ways to the pile and chows down, ruefully wishing he’d made butteredtoast for breakfast.  Or at leastsomething a little less sugary.  It onlytakes a few pieces of candy to sear his tongue with sweetness and make his teethfeel grimy.  But Peter’s hungry, and withhis current rate of calorie burn, it’ll only take a few rounds of the block inhis Spiderman suit to burn it all off.

The bell is ringing to signal the end of the lunch period,and Peter’s phone is vibrating up a storm in his pocket.  Pretending he’s on his way to class, he ducksinto the bathroom to check the messages.

Mr. Stark: There’s athing.  Can you assist?

 Mr. Stark:  Oh, you’re at school.  Nevermind.

 Mr. Stark:  But really, can you assist?

 Mr. Stark:  Happy’s on a Starbucks run.  Please provide own transportation.

Peter hastens to compose a reply.

 Peter: Yeah! Ofcourse!  I don’t have any tests today.

He considers deleting the exclamation points.  Decides against it.  Oh well.

Peter: To the tower,right?  What do you need help with?

 Mr. Stark: Yes. Excusethe boxes.  We’re packing for the move.

 Mr. Stark:  How’s your knowledge of local gang hangouts?

 Peter: Not fantastic?

 Mr. Stark:  Hm. Ok.  Scans are showing up weirdweapons tech.  Figured if it’s HYDRA,I’ll handle it.  But if it’s justbullies, you can give it a try first.  Ialso need you to model.

 Peter:  Always happy to slam some bullies.  Model what?

 Mr. Stark:  Your suit. Duh.  I’m working on a new microarmor layer, and I need you to put it on and tell me if it hurts when I hityou.

 Peter:  Ok…

 Mr. Stark:  Don’t just stand there like a dumb kid onyour phone.  Get your ass down here.

 Mr. Stark: I’m notswearing at you.

 Peter wonders if he’s supposed to reply, but he just throwshis phone into his backpack and exits the bathroom.  He glances up and down the hall a few timesto make sure there aren’t any teachers watching, then he dashes for thedoor.  

Peter dumps his backpack in the alley and quickly pulls onhis Spiderman suit.  Since he doesn’thave any cash for a cab and his metro card’s down to a few cents, webbinghimself across the city seems like the best option.  He supposes he could park somewhere and waitfor Happy to finish up whatever he’s doing, but what fun is that?  Peter usually gets a kick out of swingingaround.  Plus, he doesn’t get theimpression Happy likes him that much.

Once he’s situated, Peter scales the brick wall and sprintsacross the building’s flat roof.  Heshoots a web onto the corner of the building diagonally across the street andjumps, letting his feet skim the roofs of a few taxis on his way over theintersection.  

With this quick method of transport, it’ll still take Petera good ten or fifteen minutes to get to the tower.  He’s less than halfway through the journeywhen his stomach starts sloshing. Honestly, it’s not that unexpected what with all the junk he just ateand fact that he was sick yesterday.  Butit’s annoying as anything.

Eight blocks from the tower, Peter’s head starts isaching.  Not in the nice, polite,excuse-me-I-think-I’m-starting-to-get-a-headache way, but more in theplease-stop-I’m-hella-dizzy way.  The waythat demands a change in activity or dire consequences.  

Peter jumps onto a rooftop and sidesteps a skylight,doubling over with his hands on his knees so he can catch his breath.  He’s fine. He tells himself he is five or six times and swallows a sweet, chocolatyburp, then leaps back into free fall before he can second guess himself.  Once he shoots a web and starts to swing,though, the disgusting flip of his stomach starts up again in the worstcombination of overindulgence and motion sickness ever.  Peter’s fucked and heknows it.  He imagines he feels worsethan Steve Rogers did in that infamous story of Cap and the cotton candy andthe Cyclone on Coney Island.

He’s swallowing hard against rising gunk in his throat whenhe swings onto the block dominated by the Avengers Tower and, as it has beenfor the past few weeks, about a thousand U-Haul trucks.  Peter doesn’t want to let his feet hit theground for fear that his body will take it as a cue to turn itself inside out,so he webs himself to the balcony on the 21st floor, the one wherehe knows Tony’s lab is located.  Thesliding glass door is open slightly, and Peter shoves through it.  He pulls his mask up over his nose and mouth,intent only on getting to the bathroom before the inevitable happens.

“Hey, where are you going?”

For once in his life, Peter ignores Mr. Stark’s question andkeeps hustling, though his pace is slowing significantly as the motion sendshis stomach into frantic convulsions. He’s sweating all over.  He can’tfeel his face.  He can’t feel his feet.

“Yo, kid.”  A handcomes down on his shoulder and forcibly spins him around.  “I’m talking to you, you know?”

“Ohshit—” Peter manages to choke out beforeeverything’s coming up, running through the fingers of the gloved hand he’spressed to his mouth a moment too late. He can’t suppress the next spastic retch, and a heavy splash ofminimally digested candy and pop tarts hits the floor, soiling his red bootsand Mr. Stark’s black Converse.

“What the fuck?”  Tony leapsbackward, then seems to think better of his actions and comes up behind Peterto place a tentative hand on his shoulder and keep him from collapsing on hisshaky knees as his stomach continues to evacuate.

“Oh, god, I’m so sorry, Mr. Stark,” Peter chokes out as soon as he cantake a breath.  “I didn’t mean—”  He cuts off with another gag.  “Sorry.”

“Um.  It’s ok,” Tonysays, sounding like he’s out of his depth, fishing for the right words.  “I’ll…call May to pick you up?”

“No, I…I can’t,” Peter breathes, scraping mucous and meltedchocolate off his tongue with his teeth. It seems rude to spit onto the floor, but there aren’t a lot of betteroptions.  

“Yeah, right, you’re supposed to be at school…” Tony remindshimself.  “Well, I have 23 guest rooms inthis place, so I guess it won’t be any trouble if you want to lie down for aminute.”  

Peter tries to say thank you, but the words turn into a wetburp he struggles to keep from turning into a heave.  “OhmygodI’msorry,” he exhales.

“You’re…gross,” Tony says. “But, come on.”  He uses the handon Peter’s shoulder to steer him down the hall. “Good thing I haven’t packed the puke-cleaning robots yet.”

[marisheeran-imagines]

Lego House: Christmas Special #3

A/N: Hey, Sheerios! I'm finally back with the thrid - and last - chapter of the Christmas Special (2017) for Lego House! It was super difficult to write, I think I had a inspirational block and the Christmas scene is very, very short, and I'm sorry for this! I think it's because I want to write other things and I can't do it unless I had finished this special, but I still hope you enjoy the chapter! What do you think about the end? How do you think Ed's gonna tell the reader? Should I write that? Or this is enough? Let me know your opinion!

Title: Lego House Chapter Title: Christmas Special #3 Pairing: Ed Sheeran x Reader Point of View: Ed's Rating: +15 Word Counter: +2780 Warnings: teenage Ed (16), teenage reader (15), fluffy, careful Ed, sweet Ed, encouraging Ed, rough father

Summary: Ed has been dating you for a while now... How are the preparations for your first Christmas together?

var Mariana = prompt("What's your name?","Example: Ana, Taylor, Emma...")

var Mari = prompt("Do you have a nickname? Please, what is it?","Example: Tay, Bella...")

var brown = prompt("What's your eye colour?","Example: blue, dark green, light brown...")

var Lima = prompt("What's your father's last name?","Example: Sheeran, Winchester, Jones...")

var Renata = prompt("Can you tell me the name of your favourite aunt? The sister of your father preferably!","Example: Mary, Rose, Daisy...")

Ed's POV - December 2007

"Did the things get too bad when you left with your father yesterday?" I ask document.write(Mari), caressing her rosy cheeks, afraid Mr. document.write(Lima) had been to harsh with her.

"Oh, no! Dad was a bit pissed off, called aunt document.write(Renata) and everything, but he didn't screamed scolded me!" she answers as she fries the hamburger meats on the frier pan.

"Hey, lil-sis, it's a veggetarian to me, okay?" Matt says, counting the meat on the fridge. "Oh, sorry, Matt, I keep forgetting you're a veggie!" document.write(Mari) says, noticing she's frying more hamburgers than necessary.

"Don't worry, Matt, I can eat yours!" I chuckle and he shakes his head, heading upstairs "You need some help, baby?".

"Pick up the breads, set the table... You know, it's your home!" she giggles when I hug her from behind, pressing my chest on her back and kissing her neck and then her earlobe "Teddy, you're distracting me!" I giggle too, running my hands from the sides of her boobs to her hips slowly and document.write(Mari) shivers in my arms.

"Edward!" mom gets in the kitchen, arms crossed on her chest and a suspicious expression on her face "Remember what we talked about yesterday?".

Oh, no, now it's mom who's gonna pick on us?

"Mom, we were..." I start saying, but she shakes her head. "Try to be less handy, Ed!".

"Imogen, I'm sorry. Ed's not the only guilty" document.write(Mari) says, blushing, putting the already fried meats in a plate. "It's alright, my dear, I just don't want you both to get in trouble, which also means... Kids...".

"MOM!" I exclaim, feeling my cheeks burning as well. "We need to talk about this!" she says in a serious tone, sitting at the kitchen bent.

"It's not... You don't have to worry about it, mom, I've told you yesterday!" I say. "Has your father talked to you, sweetheart?" mom ignores me, looking at document.write(Mari), who gets even more flushed. Of course he hasn't!

"No, but my aunt... She's coming in a few days and she wants to take me to the doctor" document.write(Mari) answers, twisting her nose up. Doctor? Why? Is she sick?

"Love, are you sick?" I ask, worried and mom starts laghing. Why is she laughing at such serious subject?! "She'll certainly do that to check document.write(Mari) up, Ed. She'll probably start with pills and the doctor is the most indicated person to teach about prevention. You should go with her!".

document.write(Mari)'s more embarrassed than before, and I finally understand the kind of doctor they're talking about. Huh, is this really necessary?

"Mom, I don't think she'd like me to go with her!" I say, caressing my baby's arms, soothing her. "Okay, it's up to you, now, sweetheart, if you need to talk, you can look for me, alright? No needs to wait for your aunt, or you can talk to both of us if you prefer!".

"Thank you, Imogen, though I'm not sure if that's necessary; Ed and I we're not... Well, I'm not ready for this yet!" document.write(Mari) says, and mom nods, smiling at us "Alright, just call me if you need any help! I'm going to your granny's with your father, we're having dinner with your grandparents, and I'm going to help her with the food! We'll pick you up later" she stands up, kissing my forehead and then document.write(Mari)'s.

"Sorry if mom made you feel embarrassed" I tell her after my parents left the house. "It's okay, I'm glad she's willing to talk to me" document.write(Mari) smiles at me and I wrap my arms around her "We should talk about that... I don't want to push you and I'm sorry if I did, yesterday!" I caress her back and she shakes her head.

"No, you didn't push me... I mean, you did push me against that wall!" she jokes, making us both laugh "But I'm okay with this kind of 'push'!" document.write(Mari) says firmly, grabbing my hands and lowering them to her bum, as if to prove her statement. I smirk at her, squeezing her flesh and she giggles, pecking my lips.

I lower my mouth to her neck, and she twists her fingers in my hair "You smell so good!" I breath in her scent and document.write(Mari) sighs when I kiss her chest, availing her lower cut sweater "Teddy!" she whispers and I can't help pushing her against the counter, my hands slipping into her top, feeling the soft skin of her back and my friend starting to get excited.

"Oh, wow, please, not here!" Matt mocks us, putting his hand before his eyes.

document.write(Mari) blushes, pushing me away immediately "Oh, God, we need to stop doing this in common rooms!" she whispers and I laugh "We can go to my room, later, then!" I wink at her and she pats my shoulder, shaking her head.

"Done with my veggie burger, little sis?" Matt asks, putting a plate on the kitchen bench and I roll my eyes. "Matthew, she's my girlfriend, not your servant!". I scold him and he shrugs "Alright, sorry little sis!" he says and document.write(Mari) gives him a kind smile.

"It's okay, Matt! I'm almost done with them!" she says and he nods.

(...)

"It's so good to see you again, document.write(Mariana)" granny hugs my baby. "It's amazing to see you too, Mrs. Sheeran!" document.write(Mari) smiles.

We go to the kitchen to help granny Sheeran to set up the dinner. "It seems delicious!" my girl says, looking at the fish grandma's cooked and she smiles "Thank you, sweetie!" she caresses document.write(Mari)'s face.

"Mr. Sheeran mentioned something you say about eyes, yesterday, could you tell me what it is?" document.write(Mari) asks and granny's eyes light up as she nods.

"Do you know how William and I met, sweetheart?" grandma asks my baby, who shakes her head "Well, would you like to hear about it?".

"I'd love to!" document.write(Mari) nods, her eyes glowing. "Story time!" I giggle, sitting at the kitchen bench. I love their story so much, it's probably my favourite of all times, better than the classical and modern English tales.

"Okay, then!" granny laughs at me "I was working as a nurse at the Guy's Hospital in London, I was taking care of the wounded soldiers and he was studying to be a dentist" she smiles, and I bet how the memories are 'dancing' in her mind now; if it's nice to be able to imagine how everything happened, it must be even better to have all of that kept in her mind, ready to be remembered whenever she wants!

"We fell in love so easily and so unexpectedly!" granny's eyes glow as she resumes the story "He made me a wedding ring with gold melted teeth!" she sighs, touching her left ring finger. I'm always impressed she's still got that ring!

"Wow!" document.write(Mari) exclaims, grinning at my grandma; she seems quite amazed too.

"Yes, he's always been that romantic!" granny winks, making us laugh "Though, nothing could be that easy at the time. I was from Ireland and he was from the Northen Ireland; I was a Catholic and he a Protestant. My father didn't give Bill the permission for us to get married; it was forbidden, after all".

"We didn't care, we were in love, he was the one and only man I've ever loved!" she sighs, looking from me to document.write(Mari) "So we ran away, we borrowed some clothes and we got married! And here we are, sixty years and eight kids later, still in love, apart from all the circumstances! We've been through so much together, and yet, he's still capable of making me happy, of making me feel loved and safe!".

"He used to sing, oh, wait, I still have it with me! Wait a moment!" granny walks out of the kitchen and I look at my baby.

"Enjoying the story?" I ask her and she nods, touching my hand with hers softly. "It's so beautiful, Ed!" document.write(Mari) smiles, her eyes glowing and I smile, agreeing with her "It is, right?" I put an arm around her waist, bringing her closer to me.

"Here it is!" granny gets back, showing us an small, old and yellowish paper:

"Darling, hold me in your arms the way you did last night And we'll lie inside for a little while here, oh I could look into your eyes until the sun comes up And we're wrapped in light and life and love Put your open lips on mine and slowly let them shut For they're designed to be together, oh With your body next to mine, our hearts will beat as one And we're set alight, we're afire love".

"Mrs. Sheeran, this is so beautiful!" document.write(Mari) sighs, reading my grandfather's words, her eyes starting to get wet. "I know, my dear!" granny smiles, caressing my baby's arms "The thing I use to say about eyes is that, when you fall in love with someone, fall for his eyes, it is the only thing that won't change, you know? Everyone's gonna get flacid at some point, things will fall due to gravity, but the eyes? They stay just the same, they never age!".

"It doesn't matter how long it's been, how many battles and issues I've been dealing beside Bill, whenever I look into his eyes, I find myself, I find my home, I see the same man who I fell in love with ages ago, even if he doesn't recognise me, I know everything is the same, his feelings for me haven't changed!".

document.write(Mari) looks at my grandma, sniffing, before she hugs her tight. Granny, chuckles, getting emotional as well, wrapping her arms around my girl and stroking her hair. "Thank you for telling me your story, Mrs. Sheeran. I'll never forget that!" document.write(Mari) says.

"You are a great listener, sweetheart!" granny kisses her forehead, wiping the tears of her face "I'll get this back to its place, alright? Then we can have dinner!".

My baby looks at me, her eyes red and I smile at her, kissing her knuckles. She gulps, getting closer to me, and positioning herself between my legs, document.write(Mari) rests her head on my chest. I put my arms around her body and she sighs "I didn't know their story was so difficult, yet so enchanting and inspiring!" document.write(Mari) raises her face to look at me "It's like a truly Romeo and Juliet story!".

"It really is!" I agree, giggling. "You know, what? I'm tired of waiting, Ed!" document.write(Mari) bites her lower lip, nervously and I frown. "Waiting for what, love?".

"After listening to their story, I realised there's no point in hiding what feel for you, it's been months and I really need to tell you this. I don't wanna waist any more time not letting you know how I feel!" she says that very cautiously, as if she is afraid of my reaction. Oh, no, she's gonna break up with me right? She's been hiding what she feels for me and doesn't wan to waist time, what else could that be?

"Tell me? Tell me what?" I ask, apprehensively, getting ready to be dumped of her life. "Ed, I..." she looks down, fidgeting, her cheeks getting red. "Look at me, please!" I raise her face, anxious and afraid at the same time.

document.write(Mari) takes a deep breath as she locks her bright document.write(brown) eyes on mine, then cups my face gently "Ed, I love you!" she whispers. Oh, dear God, thank you so much! document.write(Mari) loves me! SHE LOVES ME! This incredible, gorgeous, brilliant girl LOVES me!

"Baby, you...!" I can't stop grinning "My baby, my love!" I giggle, pecking her lips "I love you more, document.write(Mariana)!" I say and her eyes widen, as if she's surprised. Why is she so surprised? She's awesome, perfect! How couldn't I love her? Oh, is it because of her father? She thinks she can't be loved, is that it? I've never stopped to think about it, but it makes sense.

"You love me?" a few tears start falling down her face again when I nod. She smiles at me, taking my hands in hers, holding them tightly and then she closes her eyes "Could you say that again?" she whispers, her voice failing and she clears her throat.

"I love you, document.write(Mari)!" I repeat, and I grin when she opens her eyes, burning myself in her warm and intense gaze "I love you, girl!" I say it once more, and she giggles, still in tears, but they are joy tears and I pull her into my arms.

"You are the best thing that's ever happened in my life!" I kiss the top of her head, and document.write(Mari) melts in my arms, resting her head on my chest again "And you, in mine!" she whispers, and I close my eyes, enjoying this moment, so special and unique, with the best person I could ever have beside me, my girl!

Ed's POV - Christmas Eve 2007

"Merry Christmas!" I say, putting my arms around my baby's body and she giggles, hugging me back. "Merry Christmas, Ed!" she kisses my lips softly.

"Merry Christmas, girl!" Mr. document.write(Lima) snorts, pulling document.write(Mari) from me, to hug her. "Merry Christmas, dad!" she frowns a bit, before she wraps her arms around his waist.

Since that day at the garage, things have gotten worse, if I thought Mr. document.write(Lima) was picking on us before, now he isn't even letting us breath. The door must always stay opened and we have a very strict time to spend in her room together. Luckly, my parents are very nice to us, and we've been discovering each other in the last couple of weeks, as my girl has been getting more confident and allowing me to, bit by bit, touch her.

The winter prom night, for instance, was the very first moment document.write(Mari) and I had alone. Matt brought us home and then went back to 'his girl's' house, to spend the night with her. Mom and dad weren't here and we had a lot of time to do anything we wanted until her father picked her up. Nothing outrageous happened, but I feel so good she's trusting me enough to give herself to me!

"Dad?!" document.write(Mari) calls him when he doesn't let her go. "Yes? Oh, alright!" he giggles, his cheeks getting flushed as he releases the grip on her body. "Merry Christmas, Mr. document.write(Lima)!" I say and he looks at me, narrowing his eyes. "Merry Christmas, boy!" he pats my shoulder, a bit more gently.

"Let's have the Christmas Dinner, everyone!" document.write(Renata) says, smiling at me, caressing her already six month pregnant belly. Yes! She's pregnant and document.write(Mari) is so excited!

We all go to the dinning room; it's incredible to have our family gathered in such a special date! document.write(Mari), Mr. document.write(Lima), document.write(Renata) and her husband here in my house makes everything better.

"I love you!" I whisper in my girl's ear as I pull the chair for her. "Thank you, Teddy, I love you too!" she whispers back and I peck her lips before I take the seat beside her and everyone starts eating.

This has been the best Christmas in years and it's all thanks to the girl beside me. The love and support she's been giving me is beyond comprehension, she's amazing, kind and beautiful! But the time of starting my career is coming, and I need to find a way to tell her I'm moving to London. I don't wanna have to leave her, nor let her down, but this is necessary and I just hope our relationship lasts through the unknown future. The true love can conquer all, right?

[topicprinter]

I understand this may come off as harsh, but this is coming from a place of deep love and respect - I KNOW how valuable your time really is and I so desperately want you to see this truth for yourself.YOU NEED SOME MOMENTUM - TO SEE THE DOLLARS COME IN AND CONFIRM THAT YOU CAN DO IT!If this post helps one person TAKE ACTION, I will be so happy! There's nothing better in life than teaching someone how to fish (or showing them that fishing is a skill they can easily learn!)To be frank, there's so much bulllshit online - and soo many of you are complete posers who aren't serious about making money.You 'want' to make money (who the fuck doesn't?), but you never take any fucking action.I want to talk about practical ways to make money NOW.Not some long ass gameplan..RIGHT. THE FUCK. NOW!This is definitely more geared towards people just getting started.. (As this is how I started my entrepreneurial journey)Personally I believe IF YOU'RE SERIOUS - YOU CAN START MAKING MONEY TODAY! (Otherwise you may be bs-ing yourself and being an entrepreneur isn't for you :/ )I know what I'm talking about. I've sold hundreds of thousands of items online over the past 10 years..My path has taken me into a specific niche (anyone here like LEGO?), so I don't do this anymore on this level.. But I still have such a sweet spot for the simple art of buying and selling misc things - and I believe this is the key to getting started!Here are some ways I've made money buying and selling over the years..(And no, I don't want anything from you - I just hope this maybe helps someone get started TODAY!)'BUY LOW SELL HIGH'There are millions of items out there that you can make money on..Everything has a value.I have bought many things for less than a dollar that I have resold for hundreds..First of all you gotta know how to find what things sell for online..'HOW DO I FIND ITEMS VALUES?'Search 'sold' items on Ebay - and this will show you how much the thing is worth.Do not look at the current items for sale as their true value. Instead look to see what they have sold for in the past! 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The coolest people respond and you will be flooded with options of things you can make money on.People respect the hell out of honesty - and they're cool with you making money, as long as you're real with them..EbayYou don't have to leave the house for this one!Make an advanced search for whatever you're looking for - with 'Buy it Now' and 'Newly listed' as the search options..This will show you the newest items that have been put up for sale - and if you search enough times a day you will eventually find something severely under priced that you can make money on!Ebay to AmazonMost people want it NOW! So they ignore Ebay and go straight to Amazon.Because of this, most items sell for way more on Amazon compared to Ebay!You can list items for sale on Amazon now, and once they sell - head over to Ebay and purchase the item and have it shipped to the buyer. Everybody's happy and you keep the difference!*Note: because you never actually see the product in person, you have to be careful with this one. If the buyer complains you will most likely have to send their money back 100% and take the losa.Alibaba.comMost likely you've heard of this site. It connects wholesalers from around the world to buyers who want stuff to resell.Every fucking thing imaginable is for sale here, with wholesale prices.This is definitely more advanced, but WAY EASIER THAN YOU MAY THINK!!Just a random example of something you can buy and resell - I found wholesale conveyor belts at $500 each. Here in the US they go for $1800! (There's shipping coats and fees, but the profits are still excellent!)It takes time to contact them, ask for samples, and wait for delivery (conveyors for example took 1.5 months to arrive) - but there is BIG money here. I've heard people say 70% of items on Amazon were sourced through Alibaba!There are definitely many more ways to get started in the world of being your own boss, but I just love the simplicity of buying and selling. You can start that TODAY!I hope this maybe helps somebody out there get started!Please please please let me know if you have any questions!I don't want anything from you - I just want to be a help! I wish someone would have told me these things years ago when I was first getting started..Life can be so damn exciting, you just need to see that it's all possible - you need to prove it to yourself.. and you can do that by starting to make money today!Anyway that's about it..Have a wonderful mother fucking day y'all!!