#please give us more snake crowley

[unnamednova]

Them✨ and her 💔

In which Murial takes over the Supreme Archangels bookshop and finds a giant snake. A collection needs a guardian! they reason. They are subsequently very confused when Coffee Human and Record Human don't have animal guardians for their collections.

Crowley, who is not only not talking to Aziraphale but ANYONE at this point, makes no effort to correct them. And maybe a part of him enjoys their one sided conversations.

[cobragardens]

The Colors of Crowley

Black is the color Crowley uses to cover himself, red is the color that represents Crowley to himself, and yellow is the color that represents Crowley to Aziraphale. What each color symbolizes and how it's used give us important information about Crowley (and to some degree Aziraphale) and about the ineffable relationship.

I feel kind of dumb writing this post because I'm sure it's glaringly obvious to everyone else, but there's this Metro UK article of all things (the Metro is owned by the hardcore rightwing Daily Mail, btw, so please don't link to it) that mentions the red stitching on Crowley's gloves in 1867, and it made conscious some details I had only subconsciously noted, so fwiw to anybody else, here are my notes on the colors associated with Crowley in Good Omens and their significance in the context of the way each one is used.

I don't think we need to cover black-as-evil in Western color symbology. [And yet here's a long-ass paragraph about it anyway! --Ed.] Light:dark::good:evil has been a thing with Christianity since before Christianity was even Judaism. The Israelites picked it up from the Zoroastrians way back before YHWH had subsumed El as 'God,' which may have been before they were Israelites as well; I mean it was a LONG time ago. Good Omens has been using black and white to represent Hell and Heaven, respectively, long before the show. In the UK, the book was published in paperback with a choice of black or white cover with an illustration of the contrasting character in the contrasting color: Crowley illustrated in black, Aziraphale in white. The current hardcover is grey.

Crowley wears black, and the Bentley is black. At the metanarrative or authorial level this is obviously for the purposes of the black/white demon/angel contrast, but on the intra-narrative level, the Watsonian level, it's interesting to note that Crowley doesn't have to wear black. He's obviously not free to choose from the full color palette, but Furfur's shirt and sash are is dark emerald green, Dagon is in ultramarine (as befits a marine Elder God), and Shax has only been on Earth for four years before she's wearing head-to-toe oxblood. When she shows up later in battle dress she's got a lot of oxblood there, too. And yet Crowley wears black.

Authorial reasons aside, black suits Crowley for a couple intra-narrative reasons. For much of history, black was the most expensive color to dye and maintain in clothing, and as a result it has always been fashionable. And for several centuries in Christendom, wearing black was also a sign that you were in mourning, which was a social and religious obligation when someone close to you died. Whether you could wear other colors with it depended on how long ago that death had occurred.

Again: black is what Crowley chooses to cover himself, and as there is a sharp distinction between how Crowley presents himself to fulfill his obligations and who he thinks of himself as being, there is likewise a distinction between the colors that represent those two quantities as well.

Red is the color the show uses to represent Crowley to Crowley. The most obvious reason is his hair. This is another change from Book Omens, where Crowley is described as having hair that is "dark." A lot of fans in the UK hated the change when S1 came out because fans hate change and the British have a thing against gingers, but Crowley's red hair suits him better than dark imo because the Mother of Demons in Jewish religious literature, Lilith, is traditionally depicted with red hair. Red hair has been associated for more than a millenium in the Middle East and England and Wales with sorcery, witchcraft, demonic influence/possession, and satan-worship.

Crowley wishes his mom was this cool with snakes.

A good case can be made that Crowley genuinely likes the color red in addition to considering it demonically appropriate. I say this for three reasons. Firstly, because when he has a (limited) choice of (again, demonically appropriate) colors, he always chooses red. The marble of the desk in his apartment is not green or grey. He can have any color stitching on his gloves or lining of his jacket collar he wants, but it's always red. Secondly, it's not only red he chooses, it's almost always bright red.

We know Crowley's red isn't supposed to represent blood or violence, because we have another demon character whose use of red represents just that, and it's not the same red:

Compare Shax' oxblood and burgundy to

and

and

and

Crowley's red isn't just red, it's lipstick, cherry, crimson red. And in case we weren't sure that we should read this red as symbolizing passionate, romantic love:

Romantic symbolism aside, bright red is also the color of passion (romantic or otherwise), optimism, heat, vitality, life, (hell)fire, and warning.

Red and black says don't fuck with Jack.

The third reason I think we can safely say that Crowley actually likes the color red is that he hides it. It's always tiny little touches, some of which you have to look for to see. (I still don't know where they snuck in the red on his Elizabethan habit, e.g.) And we know this color is a risk for him, and that he is right to hide it, because Ligur, who doesn't approve of any of Crowley's less-than-fully-demonic embellishments and may share Hastur's opinion that Crowley has gone native, comments on one of Crowley's more noticeably colorful items.

And I think the red tells us one more thing about Crowley, too.

Bright red is the colorest of colors, you know? When we can choose only one color to represent all colors, to represent colorfulness itself, we choose bright red (even in cultures where red symbolizes other meanings than it does in Western art).

Remember how Aziraphale gives Crowley's jacket a tartan collar when he swaps bodies with Crowley and impersonates him in Hell because Aziraphale feels the need to maintain some small secret token of his identity, some tiny unremarked sign of something he loves and thinks is beautiful, when he is down there alone in the gloom among enemies?

Crowley is down there alone among enemies every second of every day and night, whether he's in Hell or on Earth. And he's already had his identity stripped from him once. If you were someone who said

about this

and then you got recruited by the fash downstairs bc the fash upstairs threw you out for not being fashy enough and you had to start wearing nothing but dark colors and more importantly had to hide everything that made you feel warmth or softness or joy, and that was it, that was the deal for eternity, but you could add one (1) little touch to everything you wore to remind yourself that there is some beautiful part of you left, something you loved once, that no one has yet been able to steal or brutalize out of you...what color would the stitching on your gloves be?

Lastly, Yellow represents Crowley to Aziraphale. I'm going to skip the chain of evidence for this bc I think it's obvious, but the way it's used also lends itself to some inferences supported in other areas in the show.

Here's where I think changing Crowley's hair to red from Book Omens' dark is a good decision in another way. Crowley always has red hair, and if he has any color in his clothes it's going to be red. Red is eye-catching; it always stands out, but it doesn't stand out as demonic. And yet the color Aziraphale associates with Crowley and calls "pretty" isn't red.

I suspect that when Aziraphale says he can make Crowley an angel again, Crowley hears "You're not good enough for me to accept you as you are, let me fix you" because these are words Aziraphale has said to him many times, and has meant some of those times. But

tells the audience differently. The color Aziraphale associates with Crowley, the color he calls "pretty," is the color of Crowley's only overtly demonic feature. Aziraphale doesn't love the angel he knew who isn't Crowley, he loves Crowley, the demon, the person he is now, his yellow demon irises.

Yellow appears in three other places in S2, and they're all symbolically significant, and in fact serve to establish another symbolic significance to the color yellow in addition to that of Yellow Is the Color of My True Love's Eyes.

One of them is a feather duster:

Crowley reacts to a feather duster like a cat confronted by an unfamiliar object

The other three are private conversations between Aziraphale and Crowley:

The walls that surround Crowley and Aziraphale when they speak openly about their situation and how they will handle it are drenched in yellow, and that is super interesting, because in Western color symbolism yellow is the color of fear. The archangel of whom Crowley and Aziraphale are both (rightly) terrified wields a tool the color of fear. The color of fear saturates the backdrop of conversations between Aziraphale and Crowley when they have to discuss their situation and their actions openly.

Remember how Aziraphale's voice shakes here?

Crowley realizes the crows have just handed an angel evidence the angel can take to Hell and use to have Crowley killed

Even the Bentley, that clear sign of Aziraphale's love for Crowley, is also a yellow coffin enclosing him. For Aziraphale, thoughts of Crowley are always entangled with fear, because Crowley is not just Crowley, he is also Crowley's Fall.

And I think fear is what Crowley's eyes themselves represent. For Crowley, fear is now a fundamental part of his perception, his nature, his identity.

The angel Aziraphale once knew is not Crowley, and yet from what we've seen, the chiefest difference in character between this sweetheart and this mischief-maker--

--is that the Starmaker does not know yet that he should be afraid, and the Serpent does. That knowledge and its fear has, shall we say, colored his view of the world.

Aziraphale learns that fear early by observing others rather than Falling himself, and knows enough that by the first time we meet him in the Before, he is already afraid.

Pink was once symbolically equivalent to red; in modern Western color symbology it is a color of innocence, youth, beauty, and first love. Hashtag just sayin'.

The cruellest thing this suggests to me is that, rather than rebellion or his propensity to ask questions, rather than the knowledge of good and evil, the Starmaker's Fall was caused by his innocence. it wasn't the questions that were the problem: it was that he didn't know any better than to speak them out loud.

Y'all, Crowley and Aziraphale do not suffer from communication problems. Despite both being male-coded and British, they don't even seem to lack emotional intelligence. What they do have is a universe of silence and fear they have to communicate within and around. What they lack is the safety to speak and love freely. The true color of Crowley is crimson, but someone gave him those eyes, and Aziraphale either watched that happen or knew about it, and now Crowley covers himself in black--which btw is also the symbolic color for mystery and secrets--and only lets Aziraphale see him as he really is now, because Aziraphale won't judge him for his yellow eyes (or punish and forsake him for his questions). Because Aziraphale carries that fear with him too.

[strangesthirdeye]

Being blind and dating Crowley would include:

As usual, I'm sorry if there are any wrong sentences or typos or grammatical mistakes, please forgive me and again English is not my first language, so I try to improve my language and writing in this way.

-DB

Warning: nothing just fluff and Crowley being sweet and awesome boyfriend

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

•He knows you through Aziraphale. Well Aziraphale has many customers who come to his bookshop so Crowley assumes you are just one of Aziraphale's customers who come to talk about books.

•later finds out that you are Aziraphale's friend who came just to visit him and say hello.

• the first time he saw you wearing sunglasses that matched his made him think 'maybe you wear them because your eyes are sensitive to sunlight or you just wear them because you really want to wear them' so he ignores that and greets Aziraphale with a burst into the bookshop.

• later find out that you are blind after Aziraphale scowls at him and says you have sensitive ears so after Crowley's booming voice greets Aziraphale, you are startled by the sudden loud voice.

• Crowley being a demon that isn't much of a demon apologizes to you. (and make an apology dance j/k)

• You just smile and shake your head and just say that you are used to it because your senses other than your vision are quite sharp making you aware of such situations.

• soon after, you could say you always came to the bookshop to chat with Crowley and sometimes with Aziraphale. But usually Crowley due to Aziraphale being busy with customers who come to the bookshop.

• At first, Crowley was a bit awkward to chat with you but over time he was ok with you. Often give compliments on your matching sunglasses.

• You can only blush. And Crowley noticed your red face.

• because you are blind, Crowley always helps you like accompanying you to go home in a Bentley, opening his car door for you and sometimes he also helps you by holding your shoulder and guiding you to the seat no matter where you are so that you don't bump with furniture or people.

• drive Bentley at a speed that is not very fast for your safety. although you don't care how fast Crowley drives, you enjoy it.

•blushing because you once tried to touch his face in order to know what his face looks like and fought back a groan of pleasure when your fingers gently stroked his red hair.

• resisting the urge to confess his feelings to you because he doesn't know how to confess to you. His face turned red when he saw your smile. And he's just a relief because of course you don't see his red face.

• later, confess his feelings to you after having dinner at the Ritz where Aziraphale recommended and gave advice to Crowley about love. Crowley only made a face when he heard the word love but still took the advice and confessed his feelings for you.

•protect you at all costs like scowling at people who bumped into you without apologizing or at people who try to get close to you. Because he doesn't like people doing that to his precious Angel. And that's what boyfriend always does right?

• Call you Angel without realizing that he is calling you that at first. You just blushed and Crowley grinned cheekily at your red face. You are the only angel he admires and loves. Although he calls Aziraphale an angel because he is an angel but you are an angel in his heart.

• stunned after you found out that he was a demon right after Crowley told you about that and even more stunned after finding out that Aziraphale was an angel. But you let it go because well you love Crowley no matter what so you're fine.

• Not wearing his glasses around you because well he trusts you and I don't want to say a sentence that you are blind because that is a bit rude. (sorry)

• Admire your face and always give a kiss on the forehead every time you come to the bookshop.

• Aziraphale being the number one shipper can only squeal with excitement.

• shape shift into a snake just to snuggle around your neck.

• Often put his head on your lap and you will gently stroke his hair making Crowley fall asleep.

• well no matter where you are, Crowley will always be by your side and be a shield for you. Give you affection and comfort you if you have a mental breakdown. But overall, Crowley is the best boyfriend ever.

[the-kr8tor]

we need a Blob and Hobie alliance for like one thing they're tryna get from R, similar to Crowley and Hobie Of course this alliance is going to last from a few minutes to an hour or two depending on how stubborn R is, I feel like... After the tea has been spilled however they're going right back to bickering... "I made em spill, actually. you were just backup" (Angry bhbhbhhbhbhb noises) "shut up thats not true"

Yay Blob request! Thank you, angel ❤️

Paring: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader/ Spider-Punk x fem! Reader

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, Blob the symbiote cat AU, cat symbiote AU, CW description of illness. FLUFF

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

“You're sick, love.” Hobie says whilst he leans on the doorway of your makeshift office, aka your dark room that has your ac blasting and your humidifier blowing right across your sweaty, puckered face. “Rest, you can finish that tomorrow.”

“‘m not sick.” You declare, clearly sick, nose congested, sneeze rising up to your throat. “I have to finish this today so I have a free day tomorrow—!” A loud sneeze interrupts your sentence. The noise finally awakens the beast on your lap. Your typing hand briefly brushes along Blob's slime-like body, black tendrils wrapping along your wrist as if he's trying to keep your hand in place. But alas, you have work to do. “Sorry, Blobie, pet later okay?”

The alien snaps his big milky eyes wide open, disgruntled is an understatement, he expects to be coddled the second he wakes up. He meows, agitated, a deep roar that doesn't even faze you.

“In a minute, Blob.” Blob, you haven't called him that since he tried to bite a chuck off of Hobie's guitar. Speaking of said man, he saunters inside, eyebrows furrowed. Blob would open his maw at the close proximity of Hobie, but the alien has been around you two long enough to notice what's happening. Blob's big eyes flick between your sickly form to Hobie's concerned ones.

“At least drink some meds.” The foil packaging crinkles as he places it next to your laptop. A second later a cup of water that has you looking up at him through the thick fog of fever. “Drink—”

“I'm not sick.” You stubbornly huff.

Hobie sighs, palm reaching down to your clammy forehead. Within a second, your fever seeps through his skin, searing heat making him flinch away and has him more worried. “Love, drink, please.”

Blob, ever the sweetheart (just for you) leaps up to your keyboard, blank eyes staring at you intensely. He opens his mouth, jagged rows of teeth showing, long snake-like tongue flicking from side to side.

“Are you threatening to eat me, Blob?” You sniff, glaring at the blobby alien in front of you. “I'm working right now, so can you two please give me some space?” Your tone isn't even angry nor convincing. Yet, the two rivals move away from your feverish form.

Blob shuts his large mouth, hopping away, looking back once before following Hobie outside. Hobie keeps a close eye on you through the open door while he grows wary of the alien that is conveniently near biting distance from his ankles.

Leaning on the back of the settee, arms folded over his chest, Hobie thinks of a way to get you to finally rest. Or at least take some medicine. To his surprise, Blob hops right next to him. He sits all prim and proper on the back of the couch, white eyes narrowed at your hunched form.

Hobie nods once at the so-called cat, “you got any ideas?”

Blob doesn't hiss, or even scowl at him. Instead, he meows lowly, still vastly different from a regular cat's tone but close to it.

“You've got an idea then?”

Blob's black gooey tendrils inch closer to Hobie, to which he flinches away. “No, never in a million fuckin' years. Get a better idea, you parasite.”

Blob chirps, a sound that Hobie has never heard the alien make. He thinks you've never heard of it too. He blinks, smirking. “Can you do that again?”

With a Cheshire cat smile, Blob looks at Hobie mischievously.

—

You have no idea how you got into bed with the covers properly tucked around you. A minute ago you were cooing at the chirping Blob, his eyes were so cute that you forgot that he can wrap you around his tendrils. With your vision filled with nothing but black gooey skin, you blink and suddenly you're in bed with a thermometer in your mouth.

Hobie checks your temperature whilst you wrap your mind around at what happened. Blob is on your chest, guarding over you as if you can move under the thick blankets.

“38.5.” Hobie winces. Eyes full of worry, Blob sports the same look, he lays down on top of you, blinking slowly, tails tucked under him.

You frown, feeling the heat under your eyes, “I'm sick.” Finally admitting your illness.

“I know you are, love.” Hobie brings his palm over your cheek, his cool skin grants you reprieve from the fever clawing at your body. You lean into his touch, nodding as he gives you your medicine. “Sleep, we'll be 'ere when you wake up.”

As you drift off to sleep, head laying on Hobie's thigh while he soothingly rubs your head, Blob purrs on top of you, tongue peeking between his sharp teeth. His eyes says it all, “no thank you?”

“You were a good distraction,” Hobie whispers.

Blob stands up, eyes narrowed into slits, huffing and puffing angrily.

“Fine, thank you.” Hobie scoffs the words out. Blob makes biscuits on top of the thick blanket, nails purposely digging into the cloth, stitches coming undone. “C’mon, that's my favourite, you fuckin' gremlin.”

[aziraphales-library]

Lost Fic #206

1. Hello! Thank you for all the work that you do! I'm looking for a fic I read a while back that I seem to have lost. Honestly I think I found it through Tumblr and maybe even this blog but I can't find it again 😭 It's set post s2 while Azi is supreme archangel, and he comes down to Earth with Crowley to plot how to stop the second coming. For some reason I don't remember, Azi also has a hotel room where he rents + watches p*rn. There's lots of angst on Crowley's side, with him getting his hopes up every time Azi visits that this time he'll stay and lots of tension that ends up with smut, but also makes Crowley feel worse cuz he thinks Azi's just using him for booty calls. Sorry it's super specific 🥲 Thank you so much x - anon

2. hiya, I#m looking for a fic where Azi and Crowley are priests. The met when they were younger in training and were seperated across the country because they were caught being intimate. They later meet again at a priest meeting thingy and realise the other is still interested in them. Then there's nsfw stuff happening in the shower. I'm too stupid to figure out how to properly work the ao3 tags sooo i'd apreciate the help :)) - anon

3. Hello! Thank you for all the hard work that is put into finding these fics. I have been trying to find one where Crowley eats live animals like a snake but doesn’t want Aziraphale to know. He gets really hungry and they go to the ritz and he looks at a dog and wants to eat it and realizes that he needs to eat (it might have been a small child he was looking at). He goes to the bathroom and Aziraphale finds him eating ether a rat or a cat. Thanks :) - anon

4. hello! i'm looking for a fic that i haven't actually read. an artist i follow mentioned a scene from it in one of their posts, but they can't remember the title and recommended asking you. its a fic scene where aziraphale attempts his first temptation - tempting an apprentice at a bakery into taking home a few leftover loaves that otherwise would have to be thrown out. fics where aziraphale tempts people in general would also be greatly appreciated! it's a niche i'd love to see more of. - anon

5. Hello! First of all, you are wonderful and your blog is life saving! So, thank you. Second, I'm searching a fic and I hope it's still on ao3. It's a fic where Aziraphale hears 3 conversations the same day about the principe of giving back to your partner (and not being a pillow princess, in on case), and so he decide to do nice things for Crowley because he is scare that otherwise Crowley will leave him. So he try to find gifts and things to do that Crowley like, but it's not working very well and then he want to try to please Crowley in bed and that's when Crowley ask what's the problem is. After Aziraphale explain himself Crowley explain to him that doing things for Aziraphale and giving him gift make him happy. It finishes with a sex scene where Crowley pleasure Aziraphale. If you can find it that would be marvelous! - @myladycrow12

If you know any of these fics please include the number in your reply! Thank you :)

- Mod D

[ao3cassandraic]

What does Aziraphale know, and when does he know it? Prologue

This is a sequel to, and expansion of, several metas of mine:

Aziraphale is wise to the Metatron's game

because the Metatron overplayed his hand

so Aziraphale is covertly, kayfabe-ly begging for Crowley's help in the final scene.

You might also want to read my kayfabe post as background for this one.

I'm no longer as sold on the body-swap theory as I was (though if it turns out to be true, I'm fine with it). I still am pretty convinced that any analysis of The Final Fifteen Minutes predicated on "Aziraphale is 100% down with the Metatron's proposal!" or "Aziraphale's super-happy about being Heaven's Number Two and bringing Crowley back to be Number Three!" is not quite right.

(Oh shit. Number Two. The Prisoner. Yikes.)

Fortunately, one part of The Final Fifteen Minutes seems clear to me: Crowley's wholly on the level. That beautiful brave head-over-heels snake is giving his naked bruised heart in its entirety to his angel. He has dropped kayfabe, dropped the breakfast-at-the-Ritz posturing, broken through his reticence. He's all in. (Yeah, the "run away" solution is suboptimal, as many other metas point out, but it's what he has.)

Now, Aziraphale. Aziraphale has some specific behaviors that indicate he's happy, or pleased with an outcome:

He giggles (as while pulling Crowley into the dance).

He shoulder-shimmies. Sometimes he twists his whole body back and forth from the knees up (this has a bit of a roguish feel to it).

He tosses around words like "nice" and "good" and "kind" freely (often to Crowley's kayfabe-inflected dismay).

He does this little bent-arm swing with loosely-closed fists at shoulder level or above (as when he's telling Hamlet to buck up in s1, or exulting at their half-miracle in s2). In general his body is quite relaxed.

His smiles may be entirely open (watch Sheen's eyes as well as his mouth -- if his eyes are wide open while he's smiling, Aziraphale's happy), or they may be crinkle-eyed closed-mouth sometimes-even-tilted-head "awwww" smiles (as at Mary in s1, or Muriel or Crowley in s2), or they may be self-satisfied smirks. I think we can agree that these smiles are very different from the tense, guarded, eyes-not-involved, closed-mouth or too-toothy kayfabe smiles he gives when he's going-along-to-get-along with the archangels, in either season.

Similarly, when Aziraphale's dismayed or anxious, his body language communicates it, typically by tensing up. One of the commonest indicators is both his hands raised to around chest level, pushing out. Another common indicator, of course, is kayfabe-style suppression of movement -- the other angels control their body language quite strictly (though s1!Gabriel lets his face go a bit), so Aziraphale tries to as well when he's with them. He also overcontrols his body when he's irked (as when he sets up to watch Crowley's Apology Dance).

With that said, what I want to do is walk through Aziraphale's experience of The Final Fifteen Minutes from Aziraphale's chronological point of view (which isn't exactly what we see in the show). I want to look specifically at:

what Aziraphale learns, moment by moment

what his face and body are communicating about what he's feeling

what his words are and aren't saying

more speculatively, what he doesn't know that he might like to know

still more speculatively, what his plans might be, moment-to-moment

Because all this together, I think, gives us firmer ground to meta-speculate with than we seem to have managed thus far.

We'll start with Part 1.

[kiralena]

Theory: Crowley's snake form was a GIFT from God, not a punishment

GIF von capinejghafa

We all thought Crowley's snake form was part of his punishment for asking questions.

But: what if it wasn't meant as a punishment?

Imagine: the angels are angry about Crowley asking questions. God is pleased: Crowley is appreciating the creations. He is curious, intelligent, brave, has a pure heart, he cares more about truth than following rules. He truly cares and values the creations, because he is asking questions and thinking about it. The other angels are all kind of: 'oh, yes, God made it, so it has, needless to say, to be beautiful. No questions necessary, because we trust in God's great plan.' They don't waste a single thought to think about why the creations are beautiful.

If you create something, you LOVE it when people poin out why they love your creation. You get excited every time someone notices a hidden detail. Conclusion: God must be so incredibly bored with the angels just praising him without truly recognizing what is praisable.

And then there comes Crowley, our Starmaker, with his joy, excitement and actually being aware of why the universe is beautiful. God must have felt like an artist getting a compliment for a hidden detail.

Pushing Crowley to hell wasn't God's decision, it was the angels - removing someone from the office who doesn't cheer to the rules. All the heavenly buerocrats don't like questions, because they profit from the system and don't want changes. They are very comfy with just cheering to everything God does. Have trust in his plans, always. The heavenly buerocrats don't want Crowley to ask questions, because he is indirectly pointing out none of them cares about anything else than themselfs. (Like in the Job minisode when none of the angels was aware of the value of a human life and the love between humans) Crowley always put himself at risk for helping others, he is a guardian, even as a demon.

So when God saw what the angels did, he decided to make a gift to Crowley, which will always remind him about the fact that God loves his thoughts and questions. God gave Crowley his snake form, and made him give knowledge to the humans. God knew Crowley loves knowledge, so what could be a greater gift than being able to share knowledge? And since God has an weird ineffable sense of humor, nobody will recognize the gift as such, and Crowley's snake form is a disguise to sneak an intelligent, caring, pure hearted guardian into hell's bee hive.

What if God gave Crowley the snake eyes as a symbol of Crowley seeing things differetly? It is God's weird ineffable way to tell Crowley: 'I appreciate your ability and will to look behind the things, question the reasons and to truly care about my creations.'

But because of heaven's buerocracy God had to disguise his gift as a punishment, so the buerocrats won't recognize it. Like, telling hell: 'hey, wouldn't it be fun to see him crawl? You know....some kind of snake? Won't it?' And hell: 'oh yes, sounds like fun. For us, not for Crowley of course. Let's do that.'

God has a weird ineffable sense of humor. Giving someone a gift which isn't recognizeable as a gift would fit perfectly in ineffable humor.

Conclusion: God gifted Crowley the snake form and the ability to bring knowledge to the humans. He is a guardian disguised as demon in hell's bee hive. God knew Crowley would care about humanity, appreciating their curiosity and hunger for knowledge. For someone who cherishes knowledge and the ability to ask questions - wouldn't it be utter joy to share knowledge?

Crowley becoming the serpent of eden was God's GIFT to Crowley, and his snake eyes are a daily reminder for his love of knowledge and care for others.

God knows it is a burden, but he is well aware about Crowley's strength. He knows Crowley is strong enough. And he loves Crowley for all the things, heaven and hell hate about him: his curiosity, his pure heart, his questions, his kindness. (the same things, Aziraphale loves about him, amongst many other things)

[yuurei20]

Compilation Master List: Q&A

(Not all but many!)

Ace ・I noticed that ace seemed to think the title of magic-less prefect was cool ・I suddenly remembered out of nowhere Ace had ghosted his ex

Trey ・I can''t remember a time when we've heard Trey use honorifics with anyone else in the student body.

Cater ・I have a curious question about a voice line from Cater's Bloom broom card. ・Is Cater Diamond attractive with both genders? ・Is it mentioned how many followers cater has on magicam? ・Do we know what caters dad does for work?

Leona ・So in the second novel, after Leona's overblot does it go into his past or is it just the speech afterwards? ・Does Leona have a favorite first year/freshman? ・Does novel Leona treat Yuuya differently compared to the game. ・I remember hearing once that leona can drive a car? ・Do Leona consider mc/yuu as friend or just a normal classmate?

Azul ・Can I ask about Leona and Azul's contract? ・Does canon ever say anything similar about how Azul was acknowledged as dorm head and when he assumed the position?

Jade, Floyd ・I wanted to know if it was ever mentioned anywhere that Jade ate his siblings. ・Is there any reference to the Tweels being afraid of sea snakes? ・Floyd's union birthday vingette in JP ・Is it true that Jade doesn't have any members in his club

Jamil ・When Jade corners Kalim with his UM in book 4, Kalim admits he knows who's been mind controlling him, but promised long ago to never tell. ・On the EN server, Jamil's lesson start line is translated as "No antics, please." ・I've seen people mention Jamil might actually care about Kalim more than the surface level ・So what's the deal with Jamil Viper's parents

Vil ・Could you explain to me why Vil is so insistent on correcting Epel's accent?

Rook ・Regarding Rook: do we know whether he arrived at NRC aboard the black carriage because he was actually picked by the Black Mirror? ・I was wondering if it's ever mentioned about Rook disliking anyone

Epel ・I've noticed Epel keeps adding 'kana' to the end of his sentences. What does it mean?

Idia ・How does Idia feel about Leona? ・How many times do lilia and idia interact in person? ・Does Idia's hair burn? ・Does idia sometimes use "de gozaru" to end sentences? ・I think I remember there being a lot of madness surrounding Idia being close to Yuu. ・Has there ever been a name given for the MMORPG Idia and Lilia play together? ・How do you think Idia got his unique magic? ・What's Idia's relationship with his parents like? ・Does Idia have any peeps that he can get along with, other than Ortho? ・Could it be that Idia actually considers the prefect to be a friend?

Malleus ・In twst is it obvious knowledge for the characters in game that malleus is like 100's of years old ・What honorifics does the cast use for Malleus? ・Do you know how Malleus got the dorm leader position? ・Did Malleus have a special tutor growing up or did Lilia also serve as his tutor?

Lilia ・Do you remember any instance of Lilia calling Silver 'his son' in JP server?

Silver ・Do the other members of Diasomnia know that Silver is Lilia's son?

Sebek ・When Sebek enters a battle, he says, "I'll swallow you whole." What does that mean? ・Is it possible that "human" can be used to describe everyone who isn't fae?

Crowley ・I swear the model of Crowley even in that moment was holding a whip ・Is there anything about Crowley Actually being stingy in game ・Have you seen the voice lines for Crowley's card? ・What's this Crowley's fan theory rejecting Deuce's application for a Magical Wheel club about?

Lucius ・Is there any canon indication that Lucius is Treins familiar?

Prefect Questions ・How many people know about Yuu is actually from the other world ・I was wondering what yuuya does during the OB battles? ・Is there anything in the novels where Yuuya going into a club is brought up? ・Does Crowley give the MC any allowance? ・Do you think a magicless prefect would be able to get thru NRC's curriculum w/o grim? ・Do the characters seem aware of the backstories of the other characters? ・When Yuuya arrived in Twisted Wonderland, did he instantly understand the language there? ・Has the Perfect ever given gifts in the birthday tracker? ・Is Yuuya more prominent in the novel than Yuu in the games ・Characters reacting to prefect ・Do you have any idea as to why the novel Yuu has severe social anxiety as opposed to the other Yuus? ・Did the novel talk about the effects of blot on normal people without magic? ・Ghost Prefect?

Students ・Do you know how many siblings each characters has ・I was wondering if it was "common" knowledge that the overblot happened or if it's only the students that were present that know about it? ・Do you perhaps know which character is the most frequent DUO character? ・Was there ever an official height chart anywhere? ・Did the 5 student overblots happen over the span of 5 months? ・Can i ask about what happens After the overblots? ・Was it ever said in the game or by the guys themselves where they go or what they do during the holidays/ winter break?

NRC ・Does any part of the story mention the cost of tuition at nrc? ・Does NRC have a nurse or a doctor for the infirmary? ・I was wondering how animal linguistics works ・Does Twst follow Western or Asian school system ・I've been trying to find out how many students go to nrc for fic purposes ・I was wondering if clubs are mandatory for students and when club enrollment begins. ・Are the student numbers chosen specifically or do they mean a specific thing? ・It is common knowledge that Night Raven College is an all-boy schools, but what about Royal Sword Academy or Noble Bell College?

Magic ・Concerning light and dark magic, has there really been like a significant difference between the two? ・So how many people do we know the circumstances of how they got their unique magic now? ・I was wondering how the novels described how it looks when each character's Unique Magic is cast.

Language ・Do you know why 'land of pyroxene' was changed to 'the shaftlands'? ・It seemed like Mickey was saying he saw the Silver haired weird eye colour boy... ・In EN, (Najma) calls (Jamil) bro/dude and he reacts with "since when do you call me bro/dude!?" I was wondering what this exchange is like in JP? ・In the new update malleus UM said fae malefience and not fae of malefience would you know why? ・"Cold One Duke"

Behind the Scenes ・How true is that Yana is not involved in the writing of all events? ・I'm especially curious about (Yana's) involvement in the starsending, chef, rabbit fest and harveston event. ・I was wondering if you knew anything about the artists who work on the game? ・Do you know if some of the characters were supposed to be girls or the school coed?

Various ・Has there been any comment about dinosaurs in twisted wonderland? ・I was curious about what's the largest and the shortest Twistune/Rhythmic. ・I keep seeing the fandom joke about S.T.Y.X being the government or something ・How on earth did the heroes stories work if they, uh, yk, dont have the villains? ・Is there info anywhere on how much a madol/thaumark is worth? ・Do you know if there is a timeline for the main story and events that would make for the best reading order? ・Reading Order Pt2 ・Book 7 Theory

[tossyouforedinburgh]

I'm sure someone else has had this thought, and it's not my best writing because I am tired but just a fun idea about ineffable engagement rings (please feel free to use it in your own fics if you like it)

Aziraphale looked down at his hands and removed his ring from his little finger.

Crowley held out his hand expectantly, and the angel carefully placed it on his ring finger. Maybe it was because the demon's fingers were more slender, or perhaps some level of miracle was involved, but it fit perfectly in the way that suggested it would probably never come off. Crowley noticed this immediately and didn't mind at all.

Crowley held his hand out and admired it for a moment, and then his face fell, noticing that his hands were bare except for his new engagement ring. "Hang on, I've had an idea, give me your hand."

Aziraphale held out his hand and Crowley took it, placing it gently on the side of his own face. His snake tattoo twitched, waking up to see who was there. it seemed to sniff Aziraphale's ring finger for a moment, and then, content that it was safe, wriggled and wound its way round his finger, until it was settled with its head between his knuckles and his tail around the tip.

Aziraphale looked gleefully at his new tattoo.

"He's yours now. Uh, I think. He seems settled. Don't panic if he disappears though, he'll be on you somewhere. Remember the mini ice age we had, somewhere around the seventeen hundreds? After the Thames froze the second time he disappeared down on to my foot and stayed there for decades, hiding from the cold in my boot. Even through the summers. He won't ever leave you completely though."

"Will you miss him?" Aziraphale asked, failing to look concerned through his own delight.

"Why would I? I'm still going to see him every day, aren't I?"

This was true, and Aziraphale was reassured. He smiled at their hands, which were clasped together, showing off the angel wing ring and the snake tattoo.

[trashboatprince]

"I need you, you idiot" with the ineffable duo if ur up for it

I'm trying to figure out what's a good excuse to use this that isn't post-s2 because... yeah, haha.

So, here's something from very early in their Arrangement. :)

On with the fic!

--

Guard duty had to be the absolute most boring task for the Knights of the Table Round. Well, that and the meetings, sometimes Aziraphale was tempted to experiment with napping like Crowley did during those.

Speaking of, the demon had been laying low for quite some time, it had been a few months since any word of the 'Black Knight' in the land. Arthur was thrilled, but Aziraphale was a bit curious. And a little annoyed.

Crowley had spent weeks pestering Aziraphale about the Arrangement, and when he finally agreed to it, the snake had run off! To God knows where!

He sighed loudly, shaking his head. Why even set up this thing if you had no need to use it? He thought Crowley needed him for something urgently when he had agreed but-

There was a rustling from somewhere below Aziraphale and he stopped in his patrol around the guard wall of Arthur's castle. He listened closely, hearing more of the rustling, before a few hissed curses.

Frowning, Aziraphale peered over the ledge, staring down into the darkness below. The torches around the ledge didn't give him much light, but he could make out someone below. A very familiar someone. "Crowley!" He hissed, glaring at the demon.

Crowley was not in his armor, instead in normal clothing, and also appeared to be covered in leaves, as he was pulling some off himself. He looked up. "Angel! There you are, thought I'd have to break in!"

"Why are you here?"

"To talk to you?"

"About what?" Aziraphale asked, irritated. Mainly for Crowley only just now showing up, with no warning. And for the fact that he had made Aziraphale worry over his safety, not that Aziraphale would admit to it.

"About... uhhh... look, can I come up there? Gotta talk to you in secret."

Aziraphale frowned deeply, glancing this way and that. The other knights were off in their sections, paying no mind to Aziraphale. Still, just to be safe...

He snapped his fingers, the others would pay no attention at all to him or this side of the castle until Crowley left.

Suddenly Crowley was at his side, wings out, when had he flown up here!?

"Alright, what is it? And where have you been!? You left without a word!" Aziraphale shouted, throwing his hands up.

Crowley blinked. "I didn't tell you?"

"Of course not! Uhg, that is so like you, you always do that. Get me talking and making plans, only to vanish off the face of the Earth without even a note! You'll probably do that after this conversation, to the surprise of no one."

The demon snarled. "Oh please, like you haven't done the same to me! 'Sides, 's not my fault I left! Hell had me on a job and wouldn't even let me pack up first! Practically dragged me there myself!"

"Is that going to happen again this time?" Aziraphale sniffed. "Why am I even talking to you right now? I'm on guard duty, can't have you messing up that job again for me. Away with you."

Suddenly, Aziraphale was pinned against the ledge of the tower, staring into golden snake eyes. Gosh, they looked lovely in the light of the torches.

"I need you, you idiot." Crowley said, voice low but powerful. It sent a weird shiver up Aziraphale's spine. "It's important, extremely important, and part of the Arrangement now if you wanna protect your prissy friends."

"W-what?" Aziraphale blinked.

"Hell wants... me to cause problems for your knights. Apparently, they're getting a little too good at what they do around here, and Hell wants me to screw all that up. I honestly don't give two shits, but this is a big job."

"And... what do you want me to do about it?" Aziraphale asked, mouth a bit dry, he kept looking at Crowley's mouth.

"Think you can... thwart my wiles? I mean. Look, I know the Arrangement was basically set up for use to, ya know, do each other's work, but I don't really want to do this, seems like a lot of trouble. And they don't know there's an angel on the team, Hell has no clue that you can, technically stop me."

Aziraphale frowned, finally registering his words. "But won't your bosses be upset if you fail?"

"That's... where the Arrangement really comes in. Think you can stir the pot for any trouble going on with Arthur's crew? Just a little? Nothing huge or involving all of 'em, you can 'stop' me from making a big disaster, but 'allow' me to cause a little trouble? To please my bosses?"

"And what do I get out of this?"

"There's this lovely monastery that isn't exactly the most blessed place across the sea. They are well known for their wines and wine-infused cheeses. Been thinkin' about treatin' you there."

Aziraphale considered this, it was tempting, and oh he had such a love for a good cheese. "That, and I'll need you to do a blessing in London for me, it's for an inn that opens in four days."

"Deal!" Crowley grinned, letting him go, much to Aziraphale's disappointment. For some reason. "I gotta get goin', the Black Knight's been too quiet lately, I'm gonna go steal some goats for shits and giggles."

The wings were back out again as Crowley jumped up onto the ledge. He turned to look at Aziraphale, grinning. "See you around, angel!" And he was off.

Aziraphale swallowed, feeling a bit too warm for his armor. Well, best to get planning for this 'stirring the pot' plan. What could he look into? Maybe that whole thing with Lancelot? His stares at Arthur's wife? That might cause enough trouble to entertain Hell, for a while at least...

--

This... is longer than I had expected, haha. But I like writing their early Arrangement days.

Also, I love the idea that Aziraphale accidentally ruined Arthur's love life.

[sunderwight]

concept: what if crowley actually was just a snake?

well, a serpent.

he was created in eden, so he was kind of special, but he was never actually an angel. only he did still tempt eve to eat the apple, and took a bite himself for good measure (seemed like the thing to do at the time), and hell decided to take credit for it and claim he was one of theirs. which sort of made him an honorary demon.

god, amused, decided to give crawly some demonic powers before also booting him out of the garden. the powers included changing forms, so crawly decided to test them out by changing into a form like the nice angel who had once remarked that his scales and eyes were very pretty, and he was so pleased when it worked and he got to stand next to aziraphale and chat.

aziraphale misconstrued the situation as crawly being a demon-y demon, like a fallen angel, who had just disguised himself previously as a serpent and who had serpent-like traits.

crawly didn't recognize this misunderstanding at first, either. it was a "what a wink means" or a "your exactly and my exactly" situation for quite some time (snakes are the hereditary enemies of angels? well, that explains why all the other angels are mean to him...), until aziraphale tried to subtly inquire about crawly's pre-fall history during the flood, and crawly realized that he'd been mistaken for a fallen angel and not just an especially precocious but very earthly reptile.

at first crawly tried to clarify the misconception, but then aziraphale said something about being "above earthly things" or emphasizing the importance of crawly having been an angel once, in a "we're alike" sort of tone, and crawly hesitated because... well, what if aziraphale didn't want to hang out with him anymore if he thought he wasn't ever an angel? at any point?

like, was this whole relationship actually predicated on the idea that crawly used to be an angel, even if he was a demon now? would aziraphale feel differently about hanging out if he knew he was interacting with an earthly being that had been corrupted, rather than something approaching an equal to him in terms of existence and experiences? so in the end he didn't say anything, but he did start going out of his way to try and distinguish himself from his past. not a snake anymore, no! he's a supernatural being! he was on earth sure but so was aziraphale, wasn't he? he wasn't something that squirmed at the feet of greater beings, he wasn't "crawly" anymore, he became crowley, the mysterious and cool and very powerful demon. he could even rescue aziraphale from trouble!

and if he rose enough in hell's esteem, he'd get more power. he just had to be clever about it, and then someday it wouldn't even matter whether he was a snake or an angel at all! right?

but time passed, and crowley found that a lot of things still seemed to come back to this idea of having been an angel once. of course, that was mostly down aziraphale trying to reconcile crowley's apparent virtues with his beliefs about god and heaven and hell. must be the angel shining through! if he knew that crowley was of earthly origins, it would've actually resolved that dilemma for him a lot quicker, because he could just chalk it up to all being hell's fault (this would have its own problems of course but he wouldn't think less of crowley is the thing). but instead it became this issue, and now it had gone on for so long that revealing the lie was a terrifying prospect, because what if aziraphale thought that crowley had been deliberately keeping it from him for nefarious reasons or something?

and then it happened. some way (haven't decided how yet) the truth came out and it did not go over well. aziraphale flipped out.

flipping out, of course, can have a lot of motives and many forms of expression. to crowley, aziraphale's flipping out meant: "how dare you deceive me for all this time, you repugnant serpent? here I've been putting my trust and faith in you, when really you're even more of a demon than the fallen angels! get out of my sight, foul fiend, I can't believe all the time I've wasted on you!"

when to aziraphale, his flipping out meant: "I have to review several millennia of conversations now for all the clues I apparently missed! you mean to tell me that I've taken so little notice of my only true companion in all of this time that I somehow overlooked his actual origins? I am a fool, and apparently I've been thoughtlessly cruel enough to convince you not to trust me with this. what do you mean you've been working with hell to try and get enough power to help me?! I pushed you closer to damnation?!"

so aziraphale needed time to think obviously, and then for non-crowley-related-reasons didn't get back in touch for far longer than he'd meant to (he did not know that crowley was having his own meltdown about all of this, because it would be absurd for crowley to imagine aziraphale would actually reject him for such a thing), and then he got into a spot of trouble and did not ask crowley for help (because he felt guilty for presuming and also yeah some hangups about crowley maybe not being as powerful as he'd assumed, what if he got further indebted to hell, what if he got hurt, etc) and crowley got involved anyway and then took it to mean that he'd lost aziraphale's respect & regard...

anyway, end result: crowley did some investigating on his options, got an idea from some rumors in hell, broke into heaven and edited the book of life to make it so that he had been an angel once.

and it worked! not even crowley now remembers that it ever wasn't the case. crowley got a whole new history, although his ability to "remember" it is touch-and-go. he wrote himself as working on making stars because he likes stars, and because they're one of the things he for-sure knows the angels worked on before earth was created, so it seemed like a safe bet. under reasons for falling he put "asking the wrong questions, hanging out with the wrong people, and rebelling against the will of god" because in absence of apples, that would be more or less the reason why he got booted out of eden. same idea, right? and under rankings and orders and things he just picked all the ones at the top of the list, because aziraphale never talked about that stuff so he didn't really know what it meant. under known associates he put all the angel names he actually knew (mostly the popular ones a lot of humans would also recognize), with a tentative little footnote about having met aziraphale.

end result: a snake accidentally created himself an incredibly powerful fallen-angelsona to ship with his favorite angel and then willed his rpf into existence by scribbling it in the margins of the right book, and because god thought it would be funny, it worked.

[sendmetosanfran]

Let Me Try Again pt. 6

The day had come. Elizabeth was pregnant, and the angels were going to explain the purpose of her future child. Crowley would immediately wipe her memory after the angels had left. The entire matter felt strange to Aziraphale. He was headed in with angels and not Crowley. It felt isolated somehow. 

Elizabeth looked at the group strangely as she opened her front door. Aziraphale gave her a warm smile, but the rest of the group kept a serious expression. They were unused to human interaction. They saw no need for pleasantries. 

“Hello, miss. Would it be a bother for us to come in?” Aziraphale questioned. She squinted at him before looking around at the other faces. Aziraphale felt a shoulder bump him as Uriel and Micheal went inside. “Oh, dear.” This was not going to go well. 

“What do you lot want?” Elizabeth asked with a frown. This was going badly already. Crowley watched from behind a bookshelf. He had taken his snake form to slide behind furniture until the time was right. The sight even made him cringe. 

“We’ve come to speak to you about your pregnancy,” Uriel stated. The woman looked even more confused now. She looked behind herself, wishing she could call her husband. However, she remembered that he had gone out to do the grocery shopping. 

“How do you know about that? I’ve only done the test last night,” Elizabeth replied. Aziraphale could tell they had angered her. Although, he couldn’t blame her. They had not told who they were or even given her a pleasant greeting. 

“Perhaps we should do some explaining,” he said as he stepped in front of the other two angels. He cleared his throat, keeping a smile the best he could. “You see, we’re angels… From Heaven.” He gestured upwards. Crowley shook his head. 

“You’re lunatics. I need you to leave,” she responded, gesturing towards the door. Aziraphale was the only one who made any effort to move. Micheal and Uriel kept their stone-faced expressions in place as they stayed put. 

“You are carrying a very important being,” Uriel stated. Elizabeth stared at them with a grimace. 

“Please, I wish you would leave.” Crowley wondered if he should do something. Although, there wasn’t much he could do from his position. Besides, he would be giving up the plan if he stepped in. 

“We’ll leave in a moment, I promise,” Aziraphale stated. “It’s just, you see, your baby will be very important. He’s going to be the reincarnation of Christ.” 

“What?” She looked exasperated now. Aziraphale held up his hand and miracled a flower in his hand as a way to prove that there was truly magic involved and not three nuts off the street. 

“Me? Why on Earth would I have Christ as my child?” She asked, still perplexed. Elizabeth was no fonder of these strangers than she had been a moment ago. 

“You proved yourself worthy,” Micheal interjected. “You have lived your life with minimal sin.” 

“…But why would Christ even need to return?” She questioned. Crowley was amazed by how well this woman had handled herself. She had not once backed down and refused to let her questions go unanswered. It was almost a shame that he would need to wipe her memory. There was a glance exchanged between Micheal and Uriel. 

“For the end times. Your child will grow and learn from you. It is your responsibility to teach him what he is meant for,” Micheal explained. Elizabeth suddenly looked frightened. 

“The end? You expect me to raise a child to destroy the world?” She asked, more anger growing in her voice. “My child will bring nothing but peace!” Crowley wanted to chuckle at the way this was playing out. He shifted closer, only to bump against a picture frame. It did not fall, only shifted. It was still too much. He could feel it when Uriel’s gaze snapped to him before he was being pulled in. The next thing he knew, he was in human form with their hand wrapped around his throat. 

“ACK, bloody hell!” He swore and coughed. He looked up from his newfound spot on the floor. 

“We should have known the demon was here. Anyone who doesn’t go along with the ineffable plan must have an influence over them,” they stated. Aziraphale wasn’t sure what to do. 

“Haven’t done anything,” Crowley replied. He knocked the offending hand away before standing. He straightened his jacket and backed away. Uriel’s look shifted to Aziraphale. 

“You’ve been telling him our plans.” 

“What? No!” Aziraphale was beginning to panic. He didn’t want anything to happen to Crowley or himself. 

“Oh, lay off of him. I’m a demon. It makes perfect sense for me to trail the new archangel. I didn’t even know what was going on here,” Crowley argued. He had no idea if the others would believe him, but he couldn’t have them pointing fingers at Aziraphale. Uriel gave them both a hard stare. 

“Honestly, we haven’t exactly been friends since I took my new position,” Aziraphale interjected. There was a flash of hurt that went through Crowley at the sentence. “Perhaps I hadn’t made it quite clear to him.” 

“Make it clear,” Uriel ordered. Aziraphale looked at the demon worriedly before grabbing his jacket. He yanked him towards the door, making Crowley staggered. 

“Right, be back momentarily.” 

“Hey!” Crowley yelped as he was dragged outside. Aziraphale slammed the door behind them. 

“Follow my lead,” he whispered before gripping the front of the demon’s jacket. Crowley barely had time to process the statement. His back collided with the door. 

“Ouch, damn it, angel!” He snipped. Aziraphale pressed against him with his best attempt at a mean face. He wasn’t sure if either of the angels were watching them. 

“Now, see here, you fiendish… Thing,” he said loudly. It was the best he could come up with. “This is Heaven’s territory. I suggest you stay far aware.” 

“And what do you think you’re going to do about it?” Crowley questioned. He was on board with what Aziraphale was up to. Of course, it would have been nice to know to brace himself earlier. Aziraphale looked panicked as he stammered for something to say. “I said, what are you going to do about it?” 

“I-I’ll make you regret it!” Aziraphale said. He backed them away from the door before slamming into it again. Now that the initial shock was over, Crowley was more aware of how Aziraphale leaned into him. It made him a bit weak in the knees. 

“How?” Crowley asked. Aziraphale huffed in annoyance. Why did he have to ask him anything? He had intended on pushing him against the wall and making a few vague threats. Then, the demon was supposed to run away as though he were truly frightened. What had gotten into him? 

“I’m not sure how. I suppose I’ll have to come up with a punishment. Perhaps a good lashing now will deter you from any future problems,” Aziraphale replied, unaware of the way that Crowley licked his lips. The demon chuckled, pleased with the idea of his angel punishing him. 

“You’re going to whip me?” He purred, shifting against the door. He knew he should stop this line of thinking, but he couldn’t help himself. Where would this take them? Probably nowhere, but a demon could hope. 

“I think a firm slap across the face will do,” the angel said, giving him a perplexed look. He was oblivious to what was going on in Crowley’s head. He lifted a hand and raised his eyebrows for a second to convey what he was doing. He’d give Crowley a fake slap, and Crowley would pretend that it actually hurt. He pulled his hand back before letting the fake slap fly. 

“Punish me, Angel,” Crowley growled with a devious grin. Aziraphale’s eyes widened as his body suddenly felt hot. The fake slap picked up more speed with his shock. There was an audible ‘thwack’ as his hand collided with the demon’s cheek. 

“Bloody hell!” Crowley gasped as he was sent to the ground. He rubbed his burning cheek as Aziraphale stared at him. The angel covered his mouth with his hands, and his eyes were as round as dinner plates. He was about to help Crowley up and apologize, but the door opened. The two angels were done with business. He did his best to look composed. 

Uriel looked down at Crowley. They had expected Aziraphale to come up with some cheesy act to cover up his treason. Judging from the vibrant red mark on Crowley’s face, they determined this was not face. The alliance between the two must be deteriorating as they had planned. 

“Aziraphale, we have much to discuss,” Micheal stated. He nodded before following them. Crowley just watched as he walked away, face still stinging. 

“I’m an idiot,” he muttered to himself. 

…. 

“How bad is it?” Crowley questioned. Aziraphale had gotten back about ten minutes prior. The angel had been quiet as he prepared two cups of tea. Crowley had been a bit worried when he didn’t make his usual hot chocolate. Aziraphale handed him a cup before sitting next to him. 

“Honestly, we’re much better off than we had thought,” Aziraphale stated. He sipped his tea and let out a relaxed sigh. “Elizabeth never relented. She has no intention of letting her child end the world. We just have to make sure that no one tries to brainwash her to get her on Heaven’s side.” 

“I think we can handle that,” Crowley replied. There was a short silence between them, and the demon felt the mood shift. He was overly aware of Aziraphale watching him from the corner of his eye. Crowley looked at him with a furrowed brow. “Why are you staring at me?” 

“I’m not staring,” Aziraphale replied, sipping his tea again. 

“Angel, I can feel you burning a hole in the side of my head. Something is on your mind. You might as well just tell me,” the demon stated. Aziraphale seemed to steady himself. 

“…I was just thinking about the other day.” His face took on a red tint. “I was thinking about how you reacted when I pushed you against the door.” Crowley let his head fall backward with a groan. 

“Shit. I’ve got to start keeping my mouth shut.” They fell into another silence. Aziraphale continued to watch the other man. 

“Well?” He asked. Crowley gave him another confused look. He would regret asking. 

“Well, what?” He questioned. 

“Why did you react that way?” Aziraphale questioned. Crowley stood from the sofa. 

“I’d prefer not answer that,” he stated, but the angel followed him. “Aziraphale, I don’t think you’re going to like any answer that I give you.” 

“I promise that I won’t judge. I just want to know,” he stated. 

“Nope!” Crowley attempted to disappear into the back of the shop but had a hand wrap around his wrist and pull him back gently. He swallowed thickly as he tried not to meet Aziraphale’s eyes. 

“Crowley?” 

“Y’know? Maybe we should talk about how you slapped the absolute piss out of me? How about that?” He said, trying to distract anyway that he could. 

“I didn’t mean to! You startled me,” Aziraphale explained. Crowley shook his hand away and took a step back. The angel was starting to worry. Had he done something wrong? Crowley moved to walk away again, and Aziraphale couldn’t take it. 

“Oh, why can’t you just tell me?” Aziraphale asked as he followed. Crowley felt the hands grab him again, but they gripped a bit tighter. Aziraphale turned him towards himself before moving his hands to the demon’s biceps. 

“Aziraphale!” Crowley gasped as he felt himself being shoved backward. His back pressed against a bookshelf as the angel held him in place. 

“Does this have the same effect?” The angel asked. If Crowley wouldn’t tell him what had happened, he would have to recreate it. Crowley stared at him with wide eyes. 

“What on earth has gotten into you?” 

“Answer my questions first!” His hands squeezed tighter, and Crowley could feel his mouth go dry. This was going to turn bad fast. 

“I don’t know what to tell you… I’ve never felt like that after being roughed up,” he replied. Aziraphale felt his cheeks heat up. 

“S-so you liked it?” He asked, and he could feel Crowley pulling away again. 

“I don’t like this conversation,” the demon stated. He pushed away from the bookshelf only to be put right back where he had been. He clenched the edge of one of the shelves as he gritted his teeth. 

“Please, just let me try again,” Aziraphale said in an almost frantic voice. Crowley furrowed his brow as he relaxed a bit. He wasn’t sure why Aziraphale was so worked up about this. 

“Why do you want to do it again?” The demon asked. Aziraphale blushed. 

“Because… It’s because,” he stammered before clearing his throat. Crowley couldn’t hold back a small smirk as something clicked for him. 

“It’s because you liked it. You enjoyed throwing me around, you little deviant,” Crowley stated as his smirk turned into a full-blown grin. Suddenly, Aziraphale’s face turned beet red, and the angel moved away. 

“Not initially,” Aziraphale admitted, still avoiding any type of eye contact. He wrung his hands together. His mind was obviously whirling and looking for something to justify his actions on. Crowley knew he’d be taking the blame when the angel’s eyes snapped back to him. He moved in quickly, and Crowley was back against the shelf. “If you hadn’t tempted me, we wouldn’t be having this conversation!” 

“What the hell did I do?” 

“You kept asking me questions! I didn’t know that you were using me to imagine some lustful situation.” Crowley rolled his eyes. “Don’t give me that attitude!” The angel shoved Crowley, his hand pressing in the center of his chest. Crowley grunted as he looked down at the hand. He bit his lower lip in an attempt to behave. Still, he needed to say something. 

“Why do you get to tempt me, but I have to behave?” Crowley questioned, his voice a bit deeper. Aziraphale felt a shiver go down his spine. 

“I’m an angel. I don’t tempt people,” he responded. “Don’t blame me for whatever lust you’ve been feeling.” Crowley chuckled before stalking toward the angel. Aziraphale backed away with a gulp. He stopped when they got to the edge of the sofa. 

“That’s a load of bollocks, and you know it,” Crowley stated. “You want to know what I feel every time you shove me? My legs turn to jelly, and my body gets hot. Do you know why? Because a certain little angel is enjoying himself at my expense. I agreed not to tempt you, but you aren’t holding up your end of the bargain.” Crowley pointed a finger towards Aziraphale. “If you shove me one more time, I’m going to have my own fun. Do you understand, angel?” 

Aziraphale chewed on the inside of his lip. Crowley couldn’t be serious, could he? He would never force Aziraphale to do anything. It wasn’t like he had been aware that he was teasing him. At least not at first. He looked behind the demon and saw the arm of the sofa was just behind his knees. 

“I think you’re bluffing,” Aziraphale stated. He saw the other man’s expression shift to incredulous. 

“Bluffing? You daft basta-” he was cut short by Aziraphale shoving him backward. The back of his knees hit the armrest, causing him to fall. Aziraphale hadn’t planned on the demon grabbing the front of his jacket and dragging him down. He tried to stand up quickly, but Crowley already had his arms wrapped around his waist. His fingers gripped onto his jacket. 

“Think about this before you do anything rash!” Aziraphale warned. Crowley rolled his eyes. 

“Calm down. You already know I wouldn’t do anything to you,” Crowley replied but did not loosen his grip. His angel was going to stay here with him. Aziraphale sighed a breath of relief as he looked down at the other man. 

“…I didn’t mean to tempt you,” he said softly. 

“S’lright, angel.” His hands shifted slightly on the small of the angel’s back. “But you know… Saying something isn’t the same as doing it.” 

“What do you mean?” Aziraphale questioned. His mouth dried when he felt Crowley’s breath by his ear. 

“I just want to talk to you,” Crowley spoke softly. Aziraphale caught sight of the yellow eyes that peered at him. The demon’s gaze was much more intense than his voice. Aziraphale knew that he had pushed his luck. 

“You could talk to me while we sat up. We could finish drinking our tea,” he offered but heard a chuckle. It sent a chill down his spine and made his scalp tingle. “Oh dear,” he muttered. 

“What’s the matter? Don’t like having your buttons pushed?” Crowley teased. Aziraphale chewed on his lower lip. “Surely you can handle the temptations of a demon. Oh, pious archangel.” 

“You said you wouldn’t do anything,” Aziraphale replied, feeling fingers trace up his spine. Crowley did not have a tight grip on him anymore, but it was too late to move away. He wanted to stay right where he was. 

“I haven’t done a thing, angel. I’m only talking,” he replied, his lips brushing gently against the shell of Aziraphale’s ear. It made the angel suck in a breath. “Now, there are certainly things I would like to do… There are things that I’d like you to do to me.” 

“Crowley,” Aziraphale warned. He lifted himself to where they were a bit further apart, but he was still above Crowley. He smiled up at him as his hands slipped down Aziraphale’s sides and up his chest. 

“Have I told you how pretty of an angel you are?” Crowley asked softly. Aziraphale’s eyes slid over him. It was such a different look and feeling for the demon to be underneath him. Aziraphale knew that he wanted Crowley, and he feared that he would cave soon. “I mean that. You’re a gorgeous person.” 

“You flatter me, dear,” Aziraphale stated. Crowley’s hand moved to cup the other man’s cheek, and his thumb rubbed gently at his lower lip. Aziraphale pressed his lips against the thumb with a hum. “…Did you know that you’re a master of temptation?” 

“I’m only as good as you’ll let me be.” 

“That’s not entirely true… I think I feel the work of a masterful demon working on me.” 

“Is that so?” Crowley asked. His golden eyes were half-lidded as Aziraphale leaned back down to him. Their lips met slowly as if to taste each other as their eyes slipped shut. Crowley’s arms slid to wrap around Aziraphale’s shoulders and bring him closer. The pace increased slightly as their mouths worked against each other. 

“Angel,” Crowley muttered as the lips left his mouth to trail his jaw. Crowley leaned into the affection. Then, he felt one of Aziraphale’s hands begin to roam. It started at his waist with a gentle squeeze. Next, it trailed up his stomach and over his chest. “Fuck me,” Crowley swore as the hand caressed his neck on the way by. Aziraphale chuckled as his fingers carded through the demon’s hair and gripped it. The demon’s breath hitched in his throat. Perhaps fucking him was what Aziraphale had in mind. 

Crowley felt his body grow warmer until he was nearly boiling. Aziraphale had lowered to press firmly against him, and his mouth was still working against Crowley’s jaw. Where had the angel learned to do this? Was this in his books? The grip on his hair made him tilt his head back. 

“Oh, Aziraphale,” Crowley said, feeling the hot mouth on his throat. It seemed to be traveling downward. “Aziraphale,” he said with more urgency. “Think about what you’re do HING,” he let out what was almost a squeak when he felt a nibble at his collarbone. “I don’t want you falling into lust. Screwing a demon may be hard to explain to upstairs.” 

“Is it really lust if you’re truly in love with each other?” Aziraphale questioned. 

“… Now, that’s what I call a temptation,” Crowley stated, tugging at Aziraphale’s collar. The angel moved as directed. Was this what they were going to do? Were they going to bang on Aziraphale’s sofa? Although the angel would probably refer to it as making love. 

“What are you two doing?” Came an inquisitive voice. 

“Muriel!” They yelled in unison. Between Aziraphale trying to get up and Crowley attempting to help him, Aziraphale landed on the floor with a thud. Crowley grimaced at seeing Aziraphale flat on his back. 

“Was this a bad time?” Muriel questioned 

“Yes,” Crowley answered. 

“No,” Aziraphale said, shooting him a look and getting to his feet. “No, dear. We were just.” He brushed his vest off, still looking to Crowley for help. The demon shrugged, not knowing what to tell him. “…Never mind that. What did you need?” 

“You got a book in the mail. I thought you’d want to see it.��� 

“Yes, I would. Thank you, Muriel,” he said before heading to the next room. Crowley watched him leave. After a second, Aziraphale popped his head back in. “Crowley.” 

“Yes, Angel.” 

“We’ll finish our,” he stopped to clear his throat. “Our activities later.” Crowley gave him a grin. 

“I look forward to it.” 

[bazzpop]

Practically Living Together

@flashfictionfridayofficial

A new door appeared one day in the bookshop.

It looked ordinary enough with its dark mahogany wood, golden knobs and hinges, and the embellishments of intricately carved snakes and cherubs on the surface. It fit the aesthetic of the bookshop just fine, but, by all rights, it really shouldn’t have existed at all.

There was nowhere it could have led to but directly out onto to the street like the main entrance did, situated next to the window by the desk as it was. But that didn’t seem to be the case as the door flew open one morning, exposing a rather sleep rumpled demon with a wicked case of bedhead.

“G’mornin’, angel.”

“Good morning,” Aziraphale greeted back, even though it was tipping more into the afternoon than morning, and inclined his head for a kiss. Crowley obliged him, of course, kissing the top of his head before ducking down to plant another kiss on his cheek with a loud smack. Aziraphale chuckled and leaned into the second (and a soon to be third) kiss. “How was your sleep?”

Crowley pulled back with a grin, uncovered eyes bright with glee before they closed as he gave a languid stretch. His spine popped and cracked, and a groan of pleasure fell from his lips as too many vertebrae clicked back into their rightful places.

“Fine, ‘s nice to sleep on my own bed instead of on the couch every few nights.”

“But I thought you liked sleeping on the couch.”

“I do!” Crowley exclaimed, draping himself over the back of Aziraphale’s chair, conveniently hooking his chin over a plush shoulder and pressing a fourth and fifth kiss to the soft bit of neck he found exposed just above the collar, as the angel pouted. “Really, I do, but sometimes it just gives me such an awful crick in the neck… and m’ hips aren’t too pleased about it when my legs hang off either.”

“Why didn’t you say something sooner? I could have miracled it to be longer or softer or whatever it was you needed to be more comfortable,” Aziraphale was starting to fret before Crowley’s arms came around him.

“I like the sofa, angel. There’s no reason to change it.”

“But—”

“No ‘but’s,” Crowley gave him a comforting squeeze before rocking him from behind into what could only be assumed was a tempting sway. From there, Aziraphale could guess where this conversation was going. “Tell you what, if you really wanna do something about it, why don’t you come over to mine for tonight?” Crowley inquired innocently, jabbing a thumb over his shoulder towards the door that should have led to nowhere. “You could join me, read in bed while I sleep next to you.”

Aziraphale took a slow sip of cocoa, it had been toeing the line of being lukewarm before it reached his lips, but it soon found itself to be the perfect temperature again. Aziraphale raised an eyebrow, he hadn’t done that one, and looked over his reading glasses suspiciously to see Crowley quirk his own brows hopefully before continuing.

“Come on, it’ll be just like old times— like that time we shared bedrolls in Wessex, or when we shared had to share a room at an inn that only had one available. It’ll be fun.”

“Alright, you wily tempter.” Aziraphale huffed, playing up on being put upon, but was actually delighted by the offer. “But before then, will you let me use your kitchen? I’m afraid my oven has been a bit on the uncooperative side lately, you see, and there’s this cake recipe I’ve been meaning to try…”

“Yes, angel, alright.” Crowley sighed, giving in. He nuzzled into the side of Aziraphale’s neck, inhaling the scent of his faded cologne as deeply as he could manage while his chest was still trapped between the back of an armchair, before pulling away and moving to hold open the odd door again. “You can use my kitchen on the condition that you’ll cuddle with me tonight.”

“It’s a deal.” Aziraphale beamed as he got up from his seat to follow Crowley through the portal to his flat.

[fuckwhoeverpickedallthefunnyurls]

Noting down things on my rewatch of Season 1 of Good Omens

While watching that scene where God explained that "it was like playing poker in a pitch-dark room, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules and who smiles all the time" and so many things appeared on the screen I just imagined how long it took to edit/make that whole scene.

In the book it's mentioned that Crowley's remark "You're an angel, I don't think you can do the wrong thing" is supposed to be sarcastic but Aziraphale doesn't notice. Well then I guess I'm like Aziraphale because I also did not and continue to not notice the sarcasm there unless I really watch out for it then slightly I guess.

Rewatching I feel like Eve opening her eyes after taking a bite of the apple is given even more underlinement than when Adam does it. Especially also through the sound effect in the background

I didn't even remember that Ligur & Hastur came out of the ground. To do it on a graveyard too like they....rose from the dead. Yeah cool symbolism or something 👍

Hastur with his flaming hand to light is cigarette is also cool. Once again thinking about editing and special effects etc. etc.

LIGUR'S LITTLE ANIMAL PAL ON HIS HEAD MOVED!!!!!! IT'S PAW OR HOWEVER YOU CALL IT MOVED!!!!

Long hair Crowley

I didn't even notice but Crowley sways his hips EXTREMELY after walking back to his car after receiving the antichrist. This is the Crowley slutty walk everyone is talking about

"Ciao. Means...Food." Always cracks me up. The pause adds to the comedic effect.

The whole "Yes" simultaneously. Also very funny tbh. Especially the way they say/pronounce it.

Until recently when I searched up about the actors starring in Good Omens in detail I literally didn't notice that the actors of Nina and Maggie were literally both nuns in season 1. Call that recycling (or foreshadowing, who knows)

Yooo the soundtrack when the ambulance arrives at the nun hospital is lowkey fire

Crowley's old glasses...I feel like the new ones are better bc they have these things at the side so the eyes are covered completely from all angles. I can't believe I'm getting a pair of them on Monday!! (For my Halloween costume)

WHY are there so many people on the street in front of Aziraphale's bookshop. Is that just what it's like in Soho.

The way Crowley talks and also his expression in that telephone cell are so funny in a way

Now that I've started reading the book and know that Aziraphale was the one blew up/set on fire the block of traffic officer who tried to give Crowley a ticket for parking in the wrong spot, I think it should have been included in the Show

I don't even remember this much happening in the first episode. I'm so used to OFMD's 30 minute episodes. And Good Omens Season 2 episodes somehow don't feel that long Idk why

Nanny Astoresh!!!!!! (Idk how it's spelled tbh)

I never noticed that Nanny's lullaby was to the tune of like the Good Omens soundtrack

Crowley going down the reflection of the escalator to go to hell weeeee

Crowley's little bun ❤❤❤ (+ his coat ❤❤)

Crowley's expression when saying "They [Heaven aka The Opposition] don't suspect a thing

Beelzebub & Hastur & Ligur all have little animal pals I think Crowley should have a little snake pal

I don't know how I never realized the first time watching that Crowley only has the snake tattoo on one side. I always thought he had dual snakes. I guess that is his little snake pal.

Why the close-up shots of Gabriel 😭😭

The famous "Please do not lick the walls" sign!!!

Isn't that Erik the demon that they fed to the hellhound??? He just keeps coming back like a Nokia huh. Indestructible.

Crowley short hair all of a sudden 😢 (he still looks good but it was a jumpscare ngl after seeing him with long hair all the time)

Crowley suggesting child murder on a sunny afternoon (I just now realized, Crowley doesn't kill kids. Is that why he suggested Aziraphale do it? I thought it was just because then it would be "heavenly doing" but this is probably his deeper motivation)

Crowley's watch is really cool?? I had to go back like 3 times to see what all the different lanes for the numbers were for though

Crowley's new glasses too

Them drinking again because they f-ed up

[england-would-fall]

A Year in Review: Lines that made us proud in 2023!

Thank you to the brilliant and inimitable @anincompletelist for setting this up and tagging me!

This year was an emotional rollercoaster, and I didn’t manage a quarter of the writing I would have liked. I’m looking forward to a new year full of far more words written, read, and shared! Until then, please accept my offer of a few of my favorites from this year’s AO3 posts:

When Stars Align

(Good Omens, Aziraphale/Crowley, Rated G)

Crowley kept his gaze on Aziraphale's shoulder, white shirt more visible for the stars. Perhaps it was the angel himself he feared crossing–or rather, the line he had drawn between them all those decades ago. Snakes don't cry, he told himself, clenching his jaw tighter than the pain in his chest. And demons don't—

Wove in Red for Every Deed

(Good Omens, Aziraphale/Crowley, Rated G)

“Oh, really now. I don’t think it’s all that bad,” Aziraphale chimed, taking the final steps with a miraculously level tea tray in hand. “Perhaps it’s not to your usual style, and a bit of a tuck in the fabric here and there might improve the fit, but truthfully,” he said in much too high a pitch, “I do think nightmare is rather a harsh word.”

“Give you a harsh word,” Crowley grumbled, dropping heavily into an armchair and threatening his empty teacup with a raised eyebrow.

A Man Awake [WIP, Not abandoned]

(BBC Sherlock, Mycroft/Greg, Rated E)

Greg slung his coat over the back of his own chair and sat. They were close enough in height that it fit around him the same way, now that he wasn’t slouched over the table. It was surprisingly comfortable and—

'Matches your tie.' Oh shit. 'I’m so sorry, that was… what I mean to say, well, didn’t mean to say…' He sighed. Fuck it. 'I said the quiet part out loud.'

'I believe you have, yes. And, incidentally, you are correct. They are exactly the same shade of carmine. I see the detective in you is turned on this morning.'

Greg spluttered, tea dripping onto the front of his shirt.

'This is why I always wear a tie.' Mycroft raised a single eyebrow, and Greg could have sworn that was almost a smile hiding behind the fancy china. 'Perhaps you should consider it?'

'Nah,' Greg shrugged, dabbing at the spot on his shirt with a linen napkin. 'Can’t stand the things. Luckily it’s rare I need to look–' he paused. Mycroft Holmes was staring directly into his eyes. Greg felt his mouth open the slightest bit, letting in air that was far heavier than his lungs were used to. If his thoughts were being read, it was only by one of them. One, two, three, four. This must be what a toaster feels like when it’s dropped in the bath. Five, six, seven. Hold.

Yours, As a Magnolia

(Red, White & Royal Blue, Alex/Henry, Rated E)

“Alex?” Henry’s palm still pressed against his jaw, one fingertip rubbing lightly behind his ear.

“Henry.” He hated the break in his voice, which was definitely not caused by creeping insecurity. “Why me?”

“Why you,” Henry echoed, pupils dilating impossibly further in the dim light. “When I bury my hand in your hair,” he began, fingers threading their way up into Alex’s curls, “it grounds me in my humanity. When I look into your eyes,” he said, shifting his body back over Alex’s, his knees grazing the inside of Alex’s thighs, “I see the life I’ve longed to live unfolding endlessly before me. When I kiss your mouth,” he whispered, lowering his lips to brush against Alex’s with every word, “the jagged edges of my defenses are smoothed by your tongue.”

Beneath the Frost, Lay Bare

(Red, White & Royal Blue, Alex/Henry, Rated M)

“I dreamt of you.” The back of Alex’s hand brushed Henry’s cheek, sending his eyelids fluttering closed against an onslaught of emotion. How could his chest compress beneath the weight of calm Alex instilled in him while simultaneously setting every ounce of blood in his veins aflame with desire? How could one man feel so deeply? How could another drive such feeling? It didn’t make sense, and so Henry turned to the one act always able to anchor his runaway mind: he looked Alex in the eye and swallowed him down.

Secret Swiftie

Alex’s eyes widened as he tugged and kicked his pants off. The way he reacted to Henry’s do-as-I-fucking-say voice was too hot to be allowed, and Henry made a mental note to check the Geneva Convention for potential violations.

Sneak Peek: Burning Ground

(Good Omens, Aziraphale/Crowley, Rating TBD)

‘The…the…kiwis. Which one was first, the little bird running around all cheep cheep cheep or the fruit with the fuzz and the seeds?’

‘Gooseberries,’ Aziraphale said definitively, heading back toward whatever it was he had been doing. Which was likely nothing, really. Crowley had the sneaking suspicion he’d been studying the same leatherbound book for at least some of the rather more than seven days since the thing hadn’t…thinged, and he wasn’t altogether sure he was even reading the words at this point.

‘Wot gooseberries? Wha’d’you talking about “gooseberries”? No one even likes those. Do they? No, they don’t. They must if people sell them? Aw, people’ll sell anything if they’ve got it. Buy anything too, s’long as it’s less than five pound and they can put it in one of those little reusable bags. Maybe I should get one of those little reusable bags. What would I even put in one of those little bags? Oh, yeah! Hey, angel! Which came first, the kiwi the bird or the kiwi the fruit?’

Find me on AO3 @/englandwouldfalljohn

[aziraphales-library]

Lost Fic #149

1. Lost another fic. Gabriel "resets" Aziraphale to get him to kill Crowley. Aziraphale was pretty much feral. - anon

2. Hey! I’m looking for a fic that features both Aziraphale and Crowley’s POVs through history full of angsty pining with a happy ending. I only remember two scenes: one is in a tavern in a village where food is scarce and they end up curling up and cuddling together on a sofa or couch inside the tavern. The other scene is either in WWI or WWII in the middle of a battle at night. Aziraphale is healing some soldiers and trying to help some of the soldiers he can’t save. He isn’t aware that Crowley is watching him do so. That’s all I remember but I hope it sparks a memory! Thank you for all the lovely recs you give us! ❤️ - @ghealachgray

3. Hey! I’m looking for one of those after armageddon fics where Crowley tries to change up their relationship but Aziraphale sort of becomes more distant, and it ends up with Crowley traveling around the world and at one point he like shape-shifted into a kid and was about to get in trouble for stealing when Aziraphale found him. They start talking again and Crowley says something along the lines of ‘it feels like i’m talking to Her again when you’re like this’ referencing God’s neglect and it’s very sad and starts off with some miscommunication but ends off okay - thanks! - anon

4. hi! im trying to find a fic (smut fic it had outdoor sex) and i remember a specific scene where crowley finds a baby bird that fell from a nest and returns it. maybe it rings a bell for someone else? thank you for what you do with this blog! - anon

5. Hello! Thank you so much for creating this blog! I'm looking for a lost fic, where Aziraphale realises that Crowley walks in that very snakish way of his not because he sauntered vaguely downwards and has decided to saunter around ever since, but because he has to, thanks to all those joints in his snake body. That's about all I have. (I heard about this from a friend who doesn't have a very good memory, but I love this concept and my curiosity is absolutely killing me!) Again, thank you so much! - @aragorn4004

If you know any of these fics please include the number in your reply! Thank you :)

- Mod D