#please forgive my absence the last few days I know so much has been going on but my life decided to take a shit | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wreckofawriter · 3 years ago

Text

better

pairing: regulus black x evans!reader

word count: 3.3k

warnings: swearing, angst, make out scene

request by: @upchurch-funk

summary: being a muggleborn dating Regulus meant you had to keep it a secret. When your older sister finds out she raises fear of heartbreak in both of you

♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~

You and your sisters had been born jealous. Petunia turned to envy first as the attention that had been solely given to her was split between two other daughters. She had always been bitter towards you and Lily, never forgiving you for interpreting her perfect young life. She had taken your things, broken your toys and ripped your clothes trying to punish you for being born and turning her from an only child to the eldest.

Lily was next when she realised she wasn't the only one who could sprout fire from her fingertips. She had accused you of faking your magic for years, doing everything she could to best you even if she never fully understood her powers herself. Luckily she outgrew this jealous fit and by the time you shared a cabin on your way to Hogwarts she was beaming ear to ear.

It was you who was last to realise what the burn in your chest really meant. The feeling came heavy like thick rain drops as you watched your sister fall so effortlessly in love. Each time she gave James a quick hug or leaned onto his shoulder your eyes narrowed, fury irrationally rising in your throat.

This wasn’t because you wished James was yours instead. In fact you had considered him an idiot since you met him and would have rather drown yourself than date the loud mouth fool. You were instead jealous of the simplicity of their relationship. Envious of how they could be carefree, how they could dream of picket fences and happy futures. You hated that they could still be stupid kids. How they were given the freedom to make out in hallways and sneak into eachothers dorms with their worst consequence being a slap on the wrist and week of detention. Nothing hurt more than watching your sister live a simple life you knew you never could.

You stared across the room locking eyes with Regulus for only a brief moment before his darted away. Charms was dreadfully boring, the lecture practically putting you to sleep, you knew you should have been paying attention, but watching the younger Black perform the spell with ease was far more interesting. The flick of his wrist was an addicting, dull look in his eyes far more attractive than it should have been. He had woken up late that morning, his hair messier than usual. You thought it looked adorable, the way a few strands drooped in front of his lashes. He only got cuter as he blew them from his face with a pout.

“You have a staring problem.” Levi muttered from beside you.

You rolled your eyes, “Do you ever mind your own business?”

“Please, you make your thing for Black everyone's business.” He muttered and you kicked him under the desk.

Cussing at you he glared, leaning down to massage his bruising shin.

You wondered briefly how he would have reacted to the reveal of your relationship with your “hopeless crush” as he liked to call it. The surprise on his face would have been sweet as honey.

Regulus was watching you now as you continued to talk to your desk mate, he had never liked the boy, call it jealousy or anger, something bitter always rose in his throat when he saw you with him. Maybe it was because he knew your life would be so much easier if you had loved him instead.

“I don’t get what you see in him anyway.” Levi said, looking across at Regulus whose eyes had quickly retreated back to his parchment.

You grew brittle at the statement.

“I mean I know he's attractive but if it's really about looks why not go for his brother?” He grumbled.

You scoffed, “Please, Sirius is a piece of work.”

“And he isn't? I’m surprised he hasn’t called you a slur yet.”

Rage bubbled in your stomach, your chest feeling hot, “Shut up.”

Levi was either oblivious to the anger set in your tone or unbothered by it “I mean really y/n, you have a crush on a purist? It's sickening.”

You screwed your eyes shut in an attempt to stop the hot tears building behind them. You wanted to scream at him, slap him across the face and shout how Regulus would never do such a thing. You wanted to tell him how wrong he was, make him regret ever speaking such cold words. But instead you looked away, wiping your tears as they came while your boyfriend sat across the room pretending you didn't exist.

You were used to it, you knew as a muggleborn dating a pureblood from a family like his would never be easy but the words still stung. That night you sobbed into Regulus’s chest as he held you in your usual hidden courtyard.

As your tears soaked through his sweater he felt nothing but the cold grip of guilt. He had never meant to fall in love. He had known it was a mistake the second it had happened. Even now he knew he had been wrong and stupid and naive to let himself feel so deeply for someone he could never truly be with. He would never forgive himself for forcing you into the hellish life he lived with a simple confession. He hated himself every day for it, he didn't deserve to indulge in his emotions knowing it would cause you nothing but pain. He didn't deserve you and he had known that from the start.

Yet every night you met, kissing under the pale moon until your lips grew numb. Everynight he found himself falling deeper and deeper into you until you filled his dreams and nightmares alike. So he forced you closer to him, knowing he would cause nothing but hurt. And you were so childishly in love you let him.

Later as you lay asleep on his chest, legs tangled beneath a blanket he let his own tears go, silent apologies dripping down his cheek as he tightened his grip on your waist.

Lily watched you from where she sat at her table, green eyes narrowed as she tried to read your mind across the dining hall.

“Something is definitely off.” She mumbled turning to James who stared at her with a dopey grin. “You haven’t been listening to a word I said have you?”

“How can I when you’re so beautiful?” He murmured back and she scoffed, face darkening.

Sirius gagged, “You guys are disgusting.”

“Christ Black, how old are you?” Lily spoke with the roll of her eyes.

He scrunched his nose and pretended to mock her silently only earning a sigh from Remus who sat beside him.

“Something is wrong with y/n, I can just feel it.” Lily continued content on ignoring Sirius.

“Maybe she's dating that Callahan kid.” James offered. “There’s been tons of rumors.”

Lily scoffed, “Please, she has told me multiple times she has absolutely no interest in him.”

“A few months ago you were telling her you had absolutely no interest in James.” Remus offered not to look up from his book.

Lily sputtered blushing heavily again, “That is completely different.”

“Sure it is.” Remus drawled, eyes peering over the cover at her.

Lily furrowed her brow, “But why wouldn’t she tell me? I mean I thought we've always been close.”

“Maybe it's not that serious.” Sirius shrugged, “Maybe they’re just fuck buddies or something.”

Lily pulled back in disgust, “Don’t talk about my little sister like that!” she hissed as Remus kicked him under the table.

“What? She’s almost 17! It's not like she's 12 or something, Godric.” Sirius complained and James threw a spoon at him.

“You know if you’re really that curious we could always just check the map.” James said looking over at Lily who was trying to set Sirius on fire with her glare.

She considered it for a moment, “Isn’t that kind of..” she paused “intrusive?”

He shrugged, “She's your little sister.”

The sky was dark that night as you met with Regulus. The moon was new leaving only the blinking stars to light the ground beneath you.

You grinned when you saw Regulus leaning against the small statue in the middle of the courtyard. You quickened your pace pulling him into a brief kiss as you met.

“Hi.” You whispered against his lips and you felt him smile.

“Hi.” He responded, hands on your waist pulling you closer once again.

You tasted sweet like the nectar of the gods, soft and tender in his arms. Your hair smelt of pomegranate, your flowery perfume engulfing him. There was nothing more addicting on this world than your lips.

You both pulled away breathless and grinning stupidly, “Your hair looks so cute like this.” You mumbled running your hands through it and tugging lightly on a curly lock that had fallen down his forehead.

Regulus practically purred, melting into your touch. He dipped his head low to hide his blush, lips skimming the skin of your neck.

You giggled as he mumbled a bashful thank you before nipping slightly below your ear. He was always careful to never leave marks that could be seen the following day. You wished he wasn’t.

You felt his hands on the back of your thighs lifting you off the ground. You wrapped your arms around his neck and buried your nose in his hair as he walked until your back hit the wall of the castle. You scratched your nails lightly against his scalp and Regulus groaned. You gasped at the feeling of his tongue on your jaw as he pressed you further into the stone. Your legs now wrapped around his waist as he left sloppy kisses on your collar bone.

It was then you heard the shuffle of footsteps.

“Regulus.” You whispered and he broke away to look up at you, his lips red and glossy , “I heard someone.”

He slowly lowered you to your feet, “You sure?”

You nodded and you both stood silently, ears craning for another sign of life among you. After a minute you sighed, “Sorry, I must have been hearing things.”

Regulus just shook his head grinning lightly, “ ‘s fine babe.” words slurring, intoxicated by your taste.

Your lips reconnected, his teeth grazing your bottom lip as you began to work on the buttons of his shirt, tugging on his tie to loosen its knot. But there it was again the soft sound of feet, closer this time.

You both paused Regulus pulling away leaving your skin feeling cold in his absence.

“Who’s there?” He demanded into the darkness, wand lit.

There was no response and you grabbed his hand to pull him back to you. Regulus stood his ground so you leaned into him, lips ghosting against his ear.

“It's probably just a mouse or somethin’.” You murmured hands coming back to undo the remaining buttons of his shirt.

Regulus glanced around once more before looking down at you, “You’re probably right.” he said before he began to untuck your blouse, hands sliding slowly under it.

It was that which finally broke Lily, her vision going red. She stepped from beneath the invisibility cloak ignoring James' protests.

You let out a small yelp as your sister appeared from thin air, Regulus who had his back turned to her immediately drew his wand pushing you lightly behind him. His eyes went wide as he found himself inches from your older sister. It was your turn to pull Regulus behind you.

“Lily, What in bloody hell are you doing here?”

When James sheepishly appeared as well you gasped, “What is wrong with you both, are you stalking me?”

Lily looked stern, her arms crossed, “Why are you with him?” she seethed.

Your eyes narrowed, “None of your fucking buissnes. Now take your dog and leave.”

Regulus almost didn't believe it was you that was talking. He wasn’t accustomed to the harsh tone you used, your anger hardly ever directed at him.

“This is most certainly my business!” She spoke shrilly.

“It is most certainly not. Now get out.” You shouted.

“How can you expect me to leave when you're getting all touchy feely with a purist?” She hissed, grabbing at your wrist to pull you away from the boy behind you. You slapped her away so hard the sound echoed off the walls, “Call him that again around me and you’ll fucking regret it.” You growled.

Lily stepped back surprised by your sudden aggression but not backing down, “Please y/n, I’m just calling it as it. The sooner you realise that the better.”

Regulus felt his throat tighten as he listened, teeth biting into his lip as he had nowhere to look but his feet.

You stepped closer to your sister inches from her face, “Leave.” your voice struck heavy.

Lily responded just as harshly, “No.”

James shifted behind his girlfriend feeling like he was intruding on the fight which was taking place. Sensing his awkwardness you looked back at him with a searing gaze.

“Get out Potter, you have no place here.” You spat.

He was planning on shuffling away when Lily turned back to him angrily, “No James stay.”

You scoffed as he did as he was told, “Fucking pet.”

“Don’t speak to him like that.” Lily scolded.

“You're the one who's calling my boyfriend a purist.” You growled your mouth bitter at the taste of hypocrisy.

“Because he is one!” She bit back. “You really think he actually loves you after being raised how he was? With a mother like his?”

Regulus felt like he had been slapped, his cheek stinging as the older girl spoke.

“Don’t you dare bring up his mother.” You were shaking with rage by now, your face streaked with angry tears, “And how dare you speak ill of Regulus simply because of his upbringing as if his brother isn't one of your closest friends. How do you think Sirius would feel hearing what you just said?”

This took Lily back a step, her rage cooling a bit as she realised her mistake, “It’s different,” She tried to recover, “He isn't with his family anymore. Sirius has already broken away from them. He made the choice any good person would.”

Regulus felt her eyes on him as she spoke. She was no longer interested in her sister and instead focused on him. He felt like he was choking under the pressure of her stare. When he glanced up to meet her gaze he inhaled sharply. He hadn’t seen such hatred in a long time.

Your lashes were thick with tears by now, disgust and fury morphing your face, “Go fuck yourself Lily.” You spat.

She ignored you, gaze locked on Regulus, she had no intention of speaking to you anymore, “You stay away from her.” she demanded, “If you truly love her you stay away from her.”

You shouted lunging forwards and shoving your sister backwards. She stumbled back catching herself.

It was you who fell, your feet tangling, forcing you to the ground. You hit hard, hands and knees scraping against stones and moss which made up the floor. You couldn’t find it in you to stand up simply letting exhaustion and misery take you where you lay. You shook with sobs, voice cracked and raw. Lily immediately dropped beside you, hands circling your neck as she drew you into a hug. You fought her as you always did but she held on, letting you beat her chest with your fists until you stilled.

Regulus took a step forward but was stopped by your sister whose glare told him everything he needed to know. Tears pricking his own eyes he stumbled past the two of you and disappeared into the darkness of the dungeons. He didn't hear James shout for him over the sound of the ring in his ears. He wasn’t sure where he ended up, somewhere deep in the depths of the sprawling castle, dust coated the staircase he collapsed onto. Only there did he let himself cry, choking sobs rubbing his throat raw as he looked for someone to blame. His mother for forcing him into the terrifying world of dark magic? His brother for abandoning him in his abusive home? Or your sister for pointing out the truth he prayed you would never see? Regulus wished he could pass the blame off to anyone but he wasn’t stupid, he knew he had no one to hate but himself.

Regulus disappeared entirely for three days. Three days you spent desperately avoiding your sister who seemed just as adamant to talk to you again. You skipped meals opting for hunger instead risking meeting her in the hall. She would show up outside your classes forcing you to scramble out the back way or sprint away like a child running from punishment.

On the fourth day of your boyfriend's absence you felt yourself beginning to panic. Fear of him never returning, filling your head with irrational thoughts. It wasn’t like you could ask around for him, your relationship needed to remain secret despite the difficulties you were facing. It was then Lily cornered you.

You stared at the redhead as she blocked your only exit. “Lily, move.” You sighed exhausted by the past few days, sleepless nights not improving your condition.

She didn't listen, “Y/n we need to talk.”

"About what?" You scoffed, "I have nothing to say to you.”

“I just want you to understand why I,” She paused, “Why I said what I did.”

“I don't care why you said it Lily.” You said, “I don’t care if you think you were protecting me or saving me from some hopeless relationship. I honestly don’t care.”

Her eyes swelled, “How can you say that? How can you not care? I love you y/n I just want you to be safe.”

You stared at her, “I just don’t understand why you couldn’t just let me be happy.”

“He’s dangerous.”

You shook your head, “No, his family is dangerous. His situation is dangerous. He’s not.”

“Y/n please.” She begged, for what you did not know.

“Just stay out of my shit Lily.” you mumbled pushing past her and back into the hallway.

You spent the night where you always had, the small courtyard hidden between two towers of the castle, a statue of a woman draped in vines and flowers at its center. The moon was a small sliver, a dusting of clouds blocking the stars from your view. The shuffle of footsteps brought your eyes from the ground.

There stood Regulus, his face shining in the pale light. His hands were stuffed in his pockets, nose pointed at the floor as he refused to meet your gaze.

You stood quickly throwing your hands around his neck. He leaned into your touch burying his head into your shoulder as his hands found your waist.

You smelled delightful as always, your lips soft against his cheek and hands in his hair. Regulus hadn’t realized he was crying until you began to comfort him. Sweet words whispered into his ear as you only held him tighter.

“She’s right, you know.” He croaked, lifting his head to look at you. “You shouldn’t be around me.”

You shook your head feverishly, “You’re wrong Reggy.”

“I don’t deserve you y/n, I don’t deserve to be with you.” He sobbed, “I could never deserve you.”

“You’re right, love.” You mumbled, smiling through the tears that coated your cheeks, “You deserve so much better.”

♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~

taglist:@accio-rogers @roslea @k3nz-doodl3 @theseuscmander @sleepingalaska @chloe-geoghegan1 @coldlilheart @suseptiable-bur-siriusexual @the-natureofme @trickylittlewitch @layaa-layaaa @rosieweasleyy @dracosgoodgirl @inglourious-imagines @princess-jules47 @daedreamss @d22malfoys

navi

3K notes · View notes

yeahimaloser · 4 years ago

Note

Hi lovely! I adore your writing style and noticed you were taking requests. This is my first request ever so if it comes off a little awkward please forgive me! 👉👈

I was hoping for a scenario where Hawks has been wondering why y/n has been skipping out on get-togethers with him for the past week or two. He gets curious enough one day that he just-so-happens to patrol the area where you run off to after you reject another date with him.

He finds out that you have been going to an outdoor avian clinic and taking classes on how to pamper/massage or preen bird wings in order to surprise Hawks for your anniversary coming up.

But not like totally before Hawks confronts you and blurting out “Have you been cheating on me with a parrot?” 😂

Thank you! I hope this all makes sense. Hugs and kisses!

Hello there!! You are so sweet! and you didn’t come off awkward at all! <3

I am so sorry I didn’t actually mean for this to become an angst fic in the beginning ;-;

but it is fluffy don’t worry!

warnings: avian Keigo (Keigo having bird like tendencies)

Also I schedule this to be a bit later than I normally post, I’ll most likely be asleep when this goes up so I just wanted to say to everyone thank you for reading!!

word count: 3.3k

------

He tapped his foot against the floor of the restaurant, his patience deteriorating every second as he stared at the door.

As the fastest hero, Keigo never really had any patients for just about anything. One thing he hated more than anything was people being late, he moved fast, he wanted people to move fast with him.

All he wanted to do was go on a nice date night, have some dinner, and go home and watch a movie or something. He just wanted to spend time with you.

You normally never skipped out on dates, so why now?

He had noticed your absence in the last few weeks, more and more you would skip out on him.

The anxiety bubbling in his heart was starting to spill over, seeping into his attitude in daily life. In his head, he wondered if maybe you were trying to signal to him that you weren’t interested in dating anymore, that maybe you were just silently drifting from him. But he loved the 11 months he got to spend with you, he’d never experienced anything like it. It was fresh, new, loving, he didn’t want it to end. Those thoughts had made him feel miserable for the last week or so, but he was still confused by you. Although you skipped out on dates and such, you still acted so lovingly towards him. You would still come home and snuggle up to him, you would still run your fingers through his hair at night, you would still talk mindlessly about your day, as though nothing was remotely bothering you.

So, maybe you really were busy, perhaps he was just looking too much into the issue.

But still, getting stood up for the 4th time in a row would make anyone a bit upset.

He left the restaurant, paying for the drink he had ordered, and went on his way home.

Maybe it was a side effect of his quirk, but when he had these sorts of thoughts his wings would get all twitchy. He had done the research and found that when birds were in a high-stress situation they plucked at their feathers. The article also said that when a person that said a bird was attached to someone that abandons them, they get even more stressed and irritated. Which he supposed made sense. He would never admit it to very many people, (and if the press got a hold of it he would honestly shoot himself) but he had some bird tendencies.

Not big ones, just small ones.

He would bob his head in time with music sometimes, his pupils would dilate and contract when he was concentrating on something, he would mindlessly coo and cluck randomly as well.

Luckily, the commission taught him to control his bird-like tendencies, they told him that some of his bird traits were “off-putting”. But he really wasn’t sure what they were talking about, animal quirks weren’t uncommon, but he didn’t complain, he didn’t mind the help.

But since he’s been dating you, he found himself getting more and more of these tendencies.

A few times, he would find random shiny objects and give them to you, he acted all excited about it too, saying, “I saw it and thought that you could keep it! It’s super pretty so, I don’t know, I thought you’d think it was cool.” After he said that, you just took the objects and told him he was so adorable.

Another time, when you two were just out and about, he had seen you talk to someone with a similar bird quirk to his. He didn’t even know what came over him, but he squawked at the man, effectively freaking him and you out.

He apologized profusely after that.

There was one bird-like quality he didn’t mind all that much, and that was the preening of his feathers. It was honestly so relaxing, the dirt and dust from flying seeped into his feathers, so he always found himself soaking his wings in water and then rubbing them with a special kind of oil.

There were some days, however, were all he could do (or all he had time to do) was take a warm towel and gently rub off his feathers.

And lately, he had found himself going overboard with his preening, pulling more aggressively at his feathers, sometimes even hurting himself. He suspected that it was due to the stress of worrying about what was wrong with you (or him).

He hated all of it, loathed it even. Worse was how hard it was for him to broach the subject with you, whenever he got close he always wussed out. In his mind, even though it bothered him, he didn’t want to lose you. He was so scared that if he brought it up he would hear something he dreaded, and you two would fall apart.

He loved you so much, he wanted you to stay with him. Another bird trait he learned, some birds mated for life, and he would be lying if he said he didn’t feel that way about you. He just...he didn’t want to lose you.

There was one possibility that was the worst, and yet the most likely. You had been cheating on him.

He really didn’t want to admit it, but it all sort of added up.

You skipped out on dates so you could go out with this other person. When you would become affectionate with him could be a sign of guilt, he read about that online. And the way you wouldn’t see his texts or missed calls when he knew you were on a lunch break, maybe you were seeing someone else.

Was he a bad boyfriend? He thought that he had become better at this whole relationship stuff, maybe not perfect, but he was getting there. He knew he was hard to deal with, he wished he could be better for you, he really did. He knew he was busy a lot, tired from work, he knew he wasn't the most affectionate guy, but he wanted you, he wanted you so much it hurt. Keigo thought that you loved him because he really loved you.

The thought of having to let you go crushed his heart crushed his spirit too. He really did care for you, he knew that you were the one for him, so the thought of you not returning that feeling hurt him.

He flew through the night sky, looking down at the lights of the city. Normally, a sight like this would have made him smile, made him feel like he was on top of the world.

But his wings just felt uncomfortable, the wind blowing through them just increased the feeling.

He just felt… done. Like the whole world felt heavy to him. Maybe he really was overthinking everything, but he couldn’t help it, he was made to be observant.

He knew he had a strange habit of over-complicating things, but it was just his nature he supposed. A trained government agent always has to look into the fine details, at least, that's what he was taught. So, with your absence, he found himself becoming more and more paranoid.

He brought it up to his side-kicks and hero friends, and they all said the same thing; he was just being paranoid. They told him that, “sometimes in relationships, things get a little rough, it happens.” But Keigo couldn’t help but hate the whole ordeal.

He sighed, flying faster to his home.

One time, he had tried to follow you on your lunch break. He supposed it was pretty stalkerish, but he was getting desperate. All he needed was reassurance, just to know if you were actually busy or if that had been a bullshit excuse. He told himself it wasn’t a huge deal, he was just making sure you were doing ok.

...ok maybe it was a bit of a breach of privacy.

He had perched himself on top of a building near your workplace. Keigo had made sure that you wouldn’t be able to see him as he followed you, keeping out of sight as best he could.

His initial thought was you would go to a coffee shop, maybe some sort of expensive restaurant if you were meeting someone.

Yet, to his surprise, he saw you scarf down a sandwich as you entered an animal clinch.

Were you cheating on him with an animal clinch employee?

He wanted to confront you then and there, but from where he was, he didn’t have any reason to.

It looked innocent enough, you were just going to an animal clinch.

He immediately felt guilty. There was no reason for him not to trust you, you had done nothing wrong in this situation. Maybe you really were working overtime and he was just overthinking everything.

He shook his head, sighing, he unfolded his wings and flew off the building he was perched on.

That was a week ago, it was after the third time you stood him up. And now, although he didn’t have any proof of you cheating, he still felt like he had a reason to confront you. He just felt sick of worrying and overthinking everything, and in all honesty, you weren’t helping the situation. Every time he asked you about it, you always came up with some sort of excuse.

He landed on his balcony with a loud thump, not caring all that much about the noise.

As he entered his home, he lifted the hem of his shirt off his head, throwing it on the floor unceremoniously. Walking over to the bathroom, he filled a special bowl full of water and made his way back over to the bed.

It was probably a bad idea to preen himself when he was so aggravated like this, but he wanted to do it, his wings felt so uncomfortable.

His right-wing raised a bit as he sat down, pulling the feathered stump closer to him.

But before he could even graze the feathers with a damp cloth he had, he heard the front door open and close.

Before he had even realized it, he was already zooming down the staircase of his luscious penthouse, knowing full well you were already inside of his home.

“Hi honey,” you slipped your shoes off, not looking at him yet. “How was your day- Oh,” he crossed his arms over his chest, he was sure his expression was one of utmost anger.

“Where were you,” his tone was irritated, his wings twitched behind him.

“I was working. Baby what's wrong,” he nearly rolled his eyes at your concerned tone.

“Don’t baby me, you stood me up,” he huffed, “again.”

He didn’t miss the sorry expression that flashed on your face, “Kei, I’m sorry, I really am. I’ve just been so busy lately. I know I haven’t been fair to you, but I’m not doing anything tomorrow! Look I’ll even make dinner for you, ok? Really, Kei, I’m ”

“Y/N,” here it came, “if your gonna break up with me, just do it already

Well, that certainly shocked you (and him if he was being honest). Your whole expression fell into one of confusion, your eyes looked up at him with genuine hurt.

“What? Keigo what are you talking about? You’re not making any sense, why would I want to break up with you?”

“I don’t know Y/N?! Why have you been avoiding me for so long!?”

You sighed, “Is that what this is all about? Well,” you pulled out some sort of form, reaching it out to him, “here, I wanted to surprise you on our anniversary, but I don’t want you to think that I’m doing something dishonest.”

He snatched the piece of paper out of your hand, maybe a bit too harshly. He looked at it and was immediately confused.

It was information on a class about… how to preen birds?

He gave you a confused look, to which you gave him a light smile, “I see how frustrating it is for you to preen them, so I wanted to help out. I saw that I could learn how and thought it would be a cute thing for us to do together.”

He stood in shock for a few moments, letting the guilt wash over him.

“I-I’m so sorry.”

You chuckled a bit, “Don’t be, it was wrong of me to leave you high and dry on dates, I just had to work overtime in order to get these classes in.”

Now, he felt twice as guilty.

This whole time he had thought you were drifting away from him, and worse, he thought you were cheating on him. He felt sick. His friends were right, he really was overthinking the whole situation. And worst of all, you were working overtime to do something so nice for him, and here he was, yelling at you.

“I-I’m so sorry, Y/N. Jesus,” he shook his head, “I’m an idiot. You were off doing something so thoughtful for me, and I was being a prick, yelling at you. I’m sorry honey. Is there something I can do to make it up to you?”

But you just chuckled, “Keigo, really, it’s ok. I should have at least done something to convince you, or rescheduled our dates. It’s ok honey, don’t feel bad.”

You moved in to give him a hug, which just happened to be the moment you realized his shirt was missing.

“Uh,” he saw your body straighten up, and your face makes a flustered expression, “why is your shirt…”

“Oh, well,” he scratched his feathers nervously, “it’s kinda funny, I was just about to preen my wings. So I have to take off my shirt in order to get the water to the back. Kind of a weird coincidence, huh.”

“Well,” you looked at him, eyes softening, “can I help?”

Keigo was sure his heart had frozen, after a moment or two, he answered, “S-sure.”

-----

You pulled a stool for him to sit on as you sat down on the bed.

Keigo wasn’t sure why, but he felt so anxious. To tell the truth, he never really had someone preen his wings before. He would always do it himself, it was an annoying effort sometimes, but the commission was very big on him looking good for the public eye.

His wings weren’t super sensitive, but the light touches of your fingers running through them felt like pure heaven to him. The sensation was like having someone giving a message, but… different. It felt nicer, more loving, more slow and nice.

The whole sensation made him shutter.

“Is this ok,” he didn’t miss the anxiety in your tone.

“Yeah,” he said, breathlessly. “Perfect, keep...keep doing that babe.”

The little pulls of his feathers relaxed him more and more, making him seep into the back of the stool he was sitting on.

When you had started to add water to the mix, he didn’t notice his cooing.

“Kei?”

“Hmm,” his mind was so far gone in the relaxation of your hands that he barely registered your voice.

“Are you cooing,” you had to suppress your smirk as his body went rigid, as well as his wings.

“I,” his face was almost as deep red as his wings, “s-sorry.”

You giggled, “Don’t apologize,” you pressed softly into the apex of some of his feathers, “if it feels good, it’s fine if you coo. I won't judge you.”

Softly, he let out a few coos, but he didn’t want to freak you out.

But soon, he realized he couldn’t keep them in, you were just doing so well.

You moved softly to grab his feather oil, “Uh, so how does this even work? Do I take a few drops and run them through each individual feather or something?”

You’ve seen him preen his wings before, but until recently you had just started to pay attention to how he exactly did them. You had noticed that the oil he used on his feathers gave a shine to the red plumage, but you had noticed he was a bit cautious with the serum.

“O-oh,” you didn’t miss the light stutter and the soft up-take of his voice, “Um, if you want you can just put a few drops in your hand and rake them through. You don’t have to do each one if you don’t want to.”

You thought for a moment, “Alright, I think I’ll just do each feather. I wanna get this right after all.”

And, honest to god, Keigo gulped.

You’ve never seen him this relaxed and yet so tense, you would have thought he was drugged. You would be lying if you didn’t enjoy it though, the way Keigo melted into you, it was weirdly adorable.

“Yeah,” he let out, “yeah ok.”

After that, it was like Keigo could barely talk.

For a moment, you considered something. When you and Keigo had started to date, you had noticed how he was a bit touch-starved. He craved affection, whether he was aware of this or not, you weren’t sure.

But it made sense, his childhood past, and plus, this was his first real relationship. You wondered if Keigo had ever been shown so decent, honest love before.

Perhaps his bird instincts also played a part in how affectionate he could be. You read once, that when male birds became attached to their mates they tended to get affectionate as well as loving. Plus, some birds preened their mates as a show of love, you wondered if what Keigo was doing was just his way of showing how happy he was with you preening him.

After you were done, Keigo’s head was light and tired. The whole experience for him felt magical, he wasn’t sure why though. He preened himself a bunch of times, why was this the first time he felt this way?

But Keigo’s head couldn’t really process the question at the moment.

“You wanna go to sleep,” you asked, bringing your hands lightly over his shoulders, kissing his forehead.

He let out a small, “Mhm,” as he stood up. You had to help him to his bed because of how wobbly he was.

After you carefully helped him into bed, you turned to go to the bathroom to wash your hands, but Keigo dragged you down.

“No,” he whined softly as you tried to get out of his grip, “cuddles.”

(You couldn’t lie, this had to be the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen him do)

He nuzzled into you, his body flushed against yours.

That’s when you heard it, the little chips. You didn’t say anything, scared that if you did he would stop. You played with his hair as he chirped into your neck, his wings shivered a bit.

You decided to ask him, “Hey, Kei.”

He hummed lightly.

“I’ve never seen you like this, does it have something to do with your bird instincts?”

Keigo thought for a moment, “Maybe,” his voice was light you noticed, “it could be. Kinda just something I experience because that’s what birds do with their...mates.”

You chuckled, running your hands through his wings again, “Maybe it’s because you're also, like, really touch starved.”

“Oh yeah, maybe. I mean,” he looked at you, like a lovesick puppy, “you are my first time in a real relationship.”

You laughed lightly, going back to lightly stroking his hair and feathers.

“Hey Y/N,” Keigo’s voice was tired, and yet, it was soft.

“Yeah honey,” you asked in an equally gooey voice.

He nuzzled in closer to you, giving you a soft, yet deep kiss, “I love you.”

#bnha hawks #hawks x reader #mha keigo takami #hawks x y/n #keigo takami #mha keigo x reader #keigo takami x reader #mha fanfiction #keigo x reader #hawks imagine #hawks headcanons #hawks reader insert #keigo x y/n

2K notes · View notes

rarephloxes · 3 years ago

Text

@lucienvanserraweek, free day!

I’m so happy to announce that this is a collab with my dear friend @ratabrasileira!!! Go show the beautiful drawing she did some love!!

rating: G

words: 2.2k

Elain searches the woods for flowers and finds more than she ever expected. Sleeping Beauty Au

❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦

Elain left the cottage barefooted, the soft cushion of the grass comfortable and well known to her feet. The familiar and gratifying feeling of calm earth beneath her, steady and grounding, more than enough reason to forego any sort of shoes.

Roses, Feyre had chanted, the dreamy look in her sister’s eyes persisting ever since her chance encounter with a newcomer guard at the town square, the prettiest ones you can find, please?

Elain had not the courage to tell her younger sister that she had picked fresh flowers just the day before, funny-shaped pink blooms Elain found at the lip of the stream near the border.

So, she had picked her basket - the one Nesta had gifted her on her last birthday, handmade by her older sister herself; a beautiful, intricate thing done with the hard-earned love of the hardest Archeron - and left, a spring to her step and a tune brimming in her throat.

The woods, the townspeople said, were older than the village by unaccounted years, and therefore filled with deep, wondrous and dangerous magic.

Elain, as well as her sisters, was orphaned too soon. A wasting sickness that had scourged their village had taken away both of her parents, one after the other, leaving only a nearly of age Nesta, a doe-eyed Elain, and a tear-stained Feyre.

Many years had passed since, the nebulous, all-consuming pain of the absence of their parents soothed by time. Despite her grieving, it never escaped Elain’s thoughts how lucky she was to have such wonderful people in her life: her kind neighbors; the quaint, energized people of the village, who never missed a chance for celebration; the old grouch at the square who made wooden figures just as her father once had; Feyre’s laugh, her creativity and Nesta’s attentive strength.

The woods, magical and mysterious, were a source of peace in Elain’s little life, too. A balm made of soft sunlight, fresh, perfumed breeze, and the singing quietness of wildlife.

She walked, shawl hanging on her elbows to ward off the slightest of spring chills. Elain sang to her heart’s content, a lively lyric dancing on her tongue and bouncing on the leaves of the tallest of trees, her heart soaring with each note she presented to her loved woodland.

With Feyre’s wishes in mind, Elain followed a path towards a grove, the humidity at her destination perfect for the birth of deep pink roses which best complimented Feyre’s complexion.

She crossed the sturdy old bridge that allowed passage over the river, her cottage’s mill no longer audible from where she stood.

“Hello, Mister,” Elain greeted the white, wild bunny, its twitching mustache smelling the air twice before hurrying on fast jumps towards her, a cupped palm of berries awaiting the animal’s eager mouth, allowing her to scratch its head “You’re rather famished this morning, aren’t you?” she asked. The bunny agreed with what seemed like and affirmative ear twitch before her furry friend scampered away to a nearby bush.

Then, singing about poets and kings, Elain continued her path through the meandering trees, her basket filling with dark, juicy berries - a few of them already staining her lips red - and multicolored flowers.

A bold, red little bird landed on Elain’s extended finger and enchantingly sung with her. Its melodic chirping lacing and harmonizing to the girl’s sweet voice, their impromptu duet accompanied by the rustling leaves and the gurgling stream.

How wonderful Elain felt, surrounded by nature, connecting to the air around her as if it had birthed her itself, offering it her voice. Respectfully reaping the charming flora, she found on her way, breathing their scent, befriending the forest animals, and spinning on the tip of her toes on the soft soil.

As she stopped dancing, her skirts still swishing around her calves from the last of her twirls, Elain noticed a magnificent shrub of the blooms she had braved the woods for, jewel-bright pink petals shining under sunbeams, as if the tress had organized themselves to create a spot of light for such earthly beauty.

Right then, the strangest of things happened.

With her heart jumping to her throat, beating frenetically against her ribs, Elain noticed a beautiful horse. Saddled, with a gleaming chestnut coat, dark eyes downcast, calmly munching on the grass near its hooves.

It wasn’t unheard of, horses in the woods, wild or otherwise, they were not far from the main road, but that was not what made Elain’s skin prickle with alertness.

A well-taken care horse as such must have a rider nearby.

“Samson,” called a male voice “There’s not much left to go.” The horse shuffled his legs, huffing before turning its nose away, back onto the moss.

“There will be carrots,” the voice tried again, with a tone of simulated indifference.

Caught like a fish on a hook, the horse’s great neck snapped up, looking at its rider, as if expecting the vegetable all at once. Stoic as the pair of them seemed, Elain had the impression Samson was kindly spoiled.

Elain, who could hear the rich sound of the stranger’s voice, had not yet distinguished his form in the shade beyond the grove she entered, but following the stallion’s gaze she finally sighted him.

Oh, but what a beautiful man he was.

Stranger was tall and broad-shouldered, with an old, silvery scar marking the side of his face, slitting his brow and narrowly missing his eye - which seemed to be a disconcerting shade of brown. He had the most vibrant shade of red hair she has ever seen, dark like autumn leaves and silky like water.

He was the most beautiful human she has ever seen.

Stranger, however, had yet to notice her.

And as handsome as he was, Elain was clever enough to realize that a quick, silent escape was the safest option.

Slowly, she walked one step back.

The crunch of the branch beneath her foot echoed loudly, too loudly to be confounded by an innocuous wildlife sound.

Elain couldn't raise her eyes to look at him, attention glued to the sword holstered at his hip.

“Be not afraid, lady. I’ll take my leave in a moment,” Stranger said in a placating tone, palms deliberately upraised for her benefit.

The woods turned to music at the exact moment their eyes met.

A world-altering spark of recognition lighted in her mind.

A stranger in the woods, merry music, dancing fireflies, and singing birds, trees being led by the wind as if women in a ballroom, her vision spinning, and her body lighting up like fireworks. A hand on her waist, a choreography her body must have been made for performing, such ease it was to allow it to guide her away.

Dreams, she remembered, wonderful dreams which always kept her under her covers for a moment too long, always ending way too soon, leaving longing as a dent in her pillow.

Now he was right in front of her.

“I know you,” she whispered, words slipping through her lips like birds escaping a cage, her hands shaking.

He was dressed in well-made traveling clothes, dark pants, finely done knee-length boots she had only ever glanced upon whenever wealthier people crossed the town to check on their local businesses, but those deftly dressed gentlemen couldn’t have looked better than the man even with the priciest of fineries. Elain resisted the urge to press her hands to her cheeks, heated and pink from noticing Stranger only wore a thin, unruffled poet’s shirt, - his cape and hat using the nearby trees as hangers - its open laces revealing golden skin and wisps of red hair.

Elain had never felt self-conscious of her looks or clothes, the townspeople dressing similarly to her (even if Elain herself had one of the best sewing hands in their village). Her current outfit was a simple corset with boning made out of prepped hedgehog spikes, the plain fabric embellished with neat seams and picturesque figures Elain had stitched herself; a brown, light skirt - easy to wash and easier to hide soil stains - and, what now she deemed absurd due to the grime on her nails, no slippers.

“And I, you,” he answered as in a daze, hands falling limply at his sides.

“Do you hear it?” Elain made her voice firm, lifting he chin but with her knees slightly bent, ready to run.

“Yes, my lady,” he took a step, then two, until a stretch of his arm would land his hand on her shoulder.

But he didn’t move to touch her.

Elain swallowed, the breeze cooling her body, eyes downcast, legs now motionless and nearly failing her.

“Why won’t you let me see your eyes, my lady?” She couldn’t be sure, for she knew him not, but there was pleading in his tone.

“I’m afraid, my lord, that if I look at you, I’ll awake and leave this dream,” she whispered, surprised, but not fearful, of her words. “And you’ll fly away from my grasp,”

Suddenly shy of her newly found boldness, she turned her back to him.

“I’m-" She started, voice small.

“No, please.” Elain saw a shadow over her shoulder but wouldn’t dare to guess. “Forgive me for my requests, my lady, you need not give me anything, I-”

He sounded... embarrassed.

She found it endearing.

The song of the woods shifted to a village rhythm she knew well.

“Dance with me,” he called.

A gasp fell freely from her mouth, the ghost of a touch on her hand.

Slowly, she turned back to face him and realized her mistake.

His eyes were not brown, but a vibrant russet shade, complimenting his hair better. Elain had heard only the continent bred humans with the most varied and colorful bodies.

“I forgive you,” she mouthed, her throat no longer functional.

There were callouses on his palms if from holding reins or sword fighting, she couldn’t determine, but they were so gentle against her skin she barely put any mind to it.

A blast of sound surrounded them, as if the song recognized their meeting, rejoicing in their movements, magnifying their volume to ensconce the pair of them in a cloud of magic. Elain allowed her stranger to spin and lead her in the dance of her dreams.

She couldn’t help to laugh and smile and giggle as they swayed in impossibly rehearsed arrangements, his wide, carefree, delighted grin pouring sunshine into her chest.

Time turned to a growing bloom, following the natural, slow, unpreoccupied pace of life. A hundred dances thrummed with them while the small pointer of the square clock circled once.

At that time, the resounding, deep clang of the church’s bell chiming twelve times broke through the magic steering the couple.

Elain ceased her steps, the pang of reality downing on her face, awareness washing the enchanted fog in her mind.

She let go of Stranger’s hand, the melodies dimming to a quiet hum, tempting her as a distance siren song,

“I must go,” she told him, yet unable to move.

“So soon?” he asked earnestly, arms lovingly tightening around her waist, not caging, only a gentle embrace.

“Oh, please, I must have my leave. Your lordship certainly has somewhere to be. I don’t even know what to call you-“ she babbled in a rush.

Stranger pressed his nose to the sliver of skin above her neck line, as if he couldn’t help himself, as if she were a saint and he a devotee. Elain lost the breath in her lungs, head lulling back, her words cutting themselves short.

“It’s yours,” his lips brushed the slope of her neck, “My name, my heart, my soul. It’s all yours. I’m Luc-“

Hurriedly, Elain lifted his head and pressed her pointer and middle finger to his mouth, “You must not tell me your name,”

“I heard your voice,” he admitted, a portrait of hope in his face, gently grasping her wrist “I deviated from the road to look for the angel whose song I was lucky to listen. But the singing stopped, as it was never there in the first place,”

“The woods have a mind of their own” she whispered to herself, eyes roaming around as if searching.

“I found you once I let Samson rest for a moment,” he continued, uninterrupted, as though afraid she would vanish in a poof of light.

“Please, my lady. Can’t you see? One is never to deny a gift from the Gods,”

“Are you a believer, Stranger?”

“Now, I am,” he said, his gaze unfaltering, “Will you allow me to reveal my name to your Ladyship?”

“I’m no lady,” she said, taking her hand from the warmth of his, regretting it immediately, “I must have my leave,” How would she explain her tardiness to Nesta? Oh, how reckless she was acting.

“At least allow me to take you to your home, my lady,”

Elain knew deep in her gut as clearly as she knew the color of the sky and the name of her favorite flowers that he would never hurt her.

But her oldest sister warning echoed in her conscience, coiling its limbs around her, refraining her voice.

The universe, it seemed, understood her decision.

Samson let out a loud neigh, attracting her love’s attention for just long enough.

“I’ll see you in my dreams,” she promised as he turned around to watch his horse.

And ran away, deep into the woods.

❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦

Thank you so much for reading! Reblogs, likes and comments make my day.

Special thanks to @moononastring and @silvergriff for hosting this awesome event, @separatist-apologist for being the kindest and most considerate beta reader I could ever hope for.

I’m building a tag list! If you want to keep up with my writing, let me know :))

I may or may not continue this? I really want to mesh this with a bunch of other ideas I have on my notes!!

#elucien #lucien vanserra week #lucien vanserra headcanons #lucien spell cleaver #lucien vanserra #elain archeron #elucien fanfic #elucie fic #elucien fanfiction #acotar #sleeping beauty

86 notes · View notes

scuttle-buttle · 3 years ago

Text

Chapter 8

WC: 1533

Rated: E

Chapter Tags: domestic fluff, anxiety, alcohol consumption

🧠

Tuesday afternoon had you and Laszlo working in his office. He sat behind his desk grading quizzes while you worked to transcribe one of his notebooks. Tchaikovsky played quietly over the bluetooth speaker he had on the bookshelf. You had once mentioned that he was your favorite composer, so Laszlo had taken to playing his work frequently during office hours.

Pausing to take a sip of the now-room temperature tea he had brought you, you notice a low humming noise. Turning in the chair you watch your doctor. His eyebrows are scrunched in concentration. He wears the little round reading glasses that make him look old-fashioned and sophisticated. He shakes his head lightly before marking an answer wrong on the paper he holds. But what strikes you most of all, is that he is softly humming along to the music in his deep baritone. He’s actually quite good with his pitch.

“I’ve never heard you sing.”

He looks up at you from over the spectacles. “Pardon?”

“You should sing more often, you have a lovely voice.”

A deep crimson blush spreads on the apples of his cheeks. Laszlo was not one to be embarrassed easily, but sometimes the most inconsequential or mundane things like this would do the trick. He opens his mouth to no doubt give a witty and defensive response when someone knocks on the door.

“Come in,” he states. He isn’t expecting anyone, but there is an essay coming soon so it wouldn’t surprise him if a student wants to get ahead on their planning. The heavy mahogany door clicks and swings open.

“Hello Laszlo. I thought it was about time that I made my way to visit you,” says a familiar feminine voice. Standing in the doorway is none other than Dr. Stratton.

Laszlo sat up and removed his glasses as she entered the office. In the busyness of the last few weeks he hadn’t made it a point to seek her out yet. “Dr. Stratton, hello. I must say it has been quite a long time.” He smiles at seeing her, eyes lighting up.

“Oh, Laszlo, there's no need for such formalities. I’m no stranger that you can’t call me by my name.” Karen waves her hand in a dismissive manner. She then turns in your direction with a smile. “And you my dear, I didn’t expect to see you here?”

“Ah, sorry Dr. Stratton, it must have slipped my mind last time - I’m a TA for uh- Dr. Kreizler.” You almost slip up and call him Laszlo, but catch your tongue at the last possible second. It doesn’t shock you that the two doctors know each other. They both worked in the same field and had lived in central Europe in overlapping times. You’re happy to see two people you think highly of reacquainted.

You miss the confused glance that Laszlo sports between yourself and Dr. Stratton. The two of you obviously knew each other, but how? Karen had been in Vienna for years. Why would she know who you were? How small a world was it that his previous romantic partner and current one knew each other? His curiosity gets the better of him. “Forgive me, but are you two acquainted?” he asks.

“Yeah, I had Dr. Stratton my freshman year for intro psych. I told you about it on my first day, don’t you remember?”

“She was a fantastic student, Laszlo. You would have loved having her in one of your classes. She always had such well thought out ideas to contribute.”

He at least has the decency to look sheepish when he admits that it must have slipped his mind. In truth he hadn’t paid you much attention the first day. He made the effort to learn your name and that was the extent to which he cared at the time.

Dr. Stratton pipes up again. “I only have a moment but I wanted to invite you for drinks later this week so we can catch up. I have some new ideas I’d love to share with you.”

“That sounds wonderful. Please let me know when you would like to and I would be delighted.” The prospect excites Laszlo. It really had been so long since he last spoke to Karen.

“Of course, I’ll see you then.” She nods to Laszlo and gives you a grin and a wave as she leaves. The door clicks behind her.

“Oh-hoo you’ve got a date Laz, should I be worried?” you tease.

He gives you a deadpan look before realizing you are joking. He gives a slight frown. “Karen and I are old friends and colleagues, nothing more.” And previous lovers, which he omits.

“Alright, loverboy,” you quip, turning back to the notebook and laptop.

He finds himself discomforted by your joke. Perhaps he should tell you about Karen… Nevertheless, he tramps down the feeling and gets back to work.

“So why was it that Laszlo couldn’t join us tonight? He was not very forthcoming in his message.” John asks as he sets down your drinks. The three of you were sat at a small corner booth at the tavern you frequented on Friday nights. The evening was young; only a few patrons were there playing pool and having a round.

“He’s out with another professor catching up. They haven’t seen each other in years.” You take a large swig of your lager, the hoppy flavor of the brew coating your tongue. “He almost didn’t go but I insisted that I would survive alone with you two,” you chuckle.

John looks at you over his own glass. “And did he say who he’s with?”

“Dr. Stratton from the psych department.”

“Oh. I see.” John shifts his gaze around, his features going awkward at the information. He makes brief eye contact with Sara before darting them away again. Sara purses her lips, her doe eyes giving nothing away. The tense pause stirs something within you.

“What?” John needles at your question, a slight downturn of his lips as if to say he wasn’t sure what you meant. Sara sips her drink and watches the encounter. “What are you not telling me?”

John scratches at his chin. Sara steps in this time. “It’s nothing, John is just up to usual worrisome self,” she tries to dismiss.

Her answer doesn’t satisfy you. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m not exactly inclined to believe you.” Facing John, you continue. “You look like you’ve eaten something that tastes horrible, you’re hesitant to look me in the eye, and you rubbed your jaw when I asked. You’re a terrible liar, John,” you accuse. You aren’t upset, but his sudden inability to speak causes anxiety to bubble in your gut.

He huffs. “You’re beginning to sound just like him, you know.” He quirks a brow at you, annoyed. “Laszlo and Karen have a… long history. As friends and colleagues, of course. They were very close for a while,” he tacks on. He wants to be forthcoming with you, but knows it isn’t his place to actually disclose Laszlo’s relationship with her.

“Oh.” you nod. Your anxiety begins to dissipate at the explanation. “I mean I’m not surprised by it, they both lived near each other for a while in Europe. I’m sure they ran in the same academic circles. Frankly, I’m glad he’s getting to catch up with her, he needs more friends than just us,” you laugh at Sara’s ‘cheers to that’ comment. “Anyways, how’s your week been?” you ask to change the subject.

The night comes to an end soon after; the tone shifted after you retired from the conversation about Laszlo’s absence. You caught a cab back to his home. He had given you a spare key in case you wanted to come over at any time, whether to study in peace or to just be there. He wasn't sure when he would get back, but he did ask for you to wait for him.

Getting ready for bed you chance a look at the clock. It was nearing midnight. Laszlo was still out, which was somewhat uncharacteristic of him, but you figure that he’s just got a lot to talk about with Dr. Stratton. You send a text to check in, but get no response.

As you lay in bed you find your thoughts wandering back to the conversation with John and Sara. “A long history; very close for a while…” plays on repeat in your head. You hadn’t thought anything of it at the time, but now it nags at you like a gnat swirling your head in the summertime. Surely nothing happened between the two? Laszlo would have told you. There’s no doubt he knew she was back, given that she’s in his department at the university. And you trust Dr. Stratton, she’s been a great support system and even a friend to you. If the two had been involved he would have let you know, you conclude. Besides, you and the doctor were happy, so even if they had been a thing at one point it surely wouldn’t matter now.

Right?

By the time you finally fall asleep Laszlo still hasn’t come home.

Tag list

@hardlyinteresting @lorna-d-m @livvyshmiv @somethingthatsaysbubbles @greeneyedblondie44 @unbeatablecurlgirl @apparrio @marchingicenotes7 @anteroom-of-death @bruhidaniel @lemairepstuff @thehuiabird @zemosimp05 @alindeluce @iamnotthecatladynextdoor @laura-naruto-fan1998 @trelaney @boneheadduluc @i-am-dead-inside-666 @fictionlandslanddreams @thatoneartgalsstuff @hb8301 @fandom-princess-forevermore @foggycandywitch @creme-bruhlee @andy-rocks

#psychopathia sexualis #the interpretation of dreams #laszlo kreizler x reader #laszlo kreizler #laszlo kreizler fanfic #the alienist #the alienist angel of darkness #daniel brühl #daniel bruhl #daniel bruhl laszlo kreizler #scuttle-buttle #daniel bruhl fanfiction

121 notes · View notes

your-highnessmarvel · 4 years ago

Text

From Bleak to Bright - Part Thirteen

All other parts on on my masterlist, link provided below.

AN: SOOOO SORRY FOR HOW LATE THIS IS, but please, have the best piece of writing i’ve made in 2021! I am still forever shy about writing smut. Please forgive me.

Warnings: angst, language, SMUT (18+ ONLY)

MASTERLIST - SERIES MASTERLIST

PART THIRTEEN

After Loki begged you to runaway with him, he ate dinner with you and returned “home” to “take care of unfinished business”. It left a weary feeling lodged in your chest, you had to admit, but it gave you the space to digest everything that had happened. And was said.

If Loki was taking you away, you all but hoped it was not on some other planet. Hell, you barely knew if you could stomach the ride there. Loki did not have access to the Space Stone anymore, and so his intergalatical traveling must be done aboard something. And you were not - absolutely not! - stepping foot on an alien spaceship.

The smell of him still lingered in your small apartment as you showered and looked at your pitiful wardrobe. What should you pack? Jeans? Sweaters? What would the weather be like?

Your stomach roiled, your skin prickling, and you wondered if you’d made the right choice.

The part of you, forever tied to him, the part wedged deep in your chest, burned and sung that yes, you’d made the only possible choice. You knew spending the rest of your life in this pathetic limbo, going through the day like a robot, was not the life you wanted to go back to. Any life, whatever it may be, whatever future beheld you and Loki, you knew it was the right one.

You phone buzzed on the kitchen counter and you sighed, trudging to the kitchen, feeling tired and weighed down.

It was Bruce.

Your finger hovered over the accept button, biting on your lower lip.

“Hello?”

“Hey, sis.” His tone was soft, careful. “I’m just checking up on you.”

You hadn’t forgotten just how drastically you’d barged out of the restaurant not even a few hours ago.

Your heart leapt, lungs compressing against the guilt. “I’m alright.” You knew your voice didn’t sound fine, but you just hoped Bruce wouldn’t come rushing over. If he caught a whiff of whom had been in this place, he’d tear you away and put you right back in isolation.

The thought of it, the walls, the locked doors, no phone, had you tightening your fists.

“I know how hard it has been for you,” Bruce sighed on the other end. “And you’ve been doing so well. I’m sorry if my comment about boys and all made you feel clustered. I promise never to cross that boundary with you ever again.”

You smiled, remembering just how caring and respectful your brother was - how he would hold true to that promise until his very last breath.

How you would never see him again... no. You didn’t want to think that far.

Your lip quivered but you bit it hard to stop the tears from coming. “Thanks, Bruce,” you said with a smile. “Means a lot.”

He laughed. “Alright, Y/N,” he answered. “I got us tickets to a Celine Dion imitator in the village, this Saturday at seven. Do you work?”

Your throat tightened and you resisted the urge to lie. Fuck.

Bending your head, you inhaled. “I don’t work,” you said, your voice barely above a mumble. “I can make it.”

You tried not to picture him waiting for you on the curb, clutching the tickets, his curly brown hair caught in the wind. You tried not to picture him looking at his watch, calling you. You tried not to picture his face when he found out you’d never show up. Ever again.

“Perfect!” he said, his voice cheery. “I scored us front row, too. So you’ll be able to touch them!”

There was a sharp stinging pain drifting in your chest. “That sounds great, Bruce.” You hoped you didn’t sound as sorrowful as you felt.

“Yeah!” There was a long pause, too long. “It gets better, Y/N. I love you.”

You swore, there and then, you’d burst out crying. But you held yourself together, piece by piece, feeling the thinning hold about to burst. “Thank you, big bro,” you answered, your voice barely stable. “I love you too, so much.”

When the line cut and the only thing in the apartment was the heavy silence and the smell of your soulmate, the tears came so fiercely you thought you’d throw up.

It was like being torn in a million little pieces. On one hand, you did not want to leave your brother, not after all he went through to keep you safe and to make sure you were happy. He needed you as well. You were the only one who could tame the green beast, and that’s what got you caught up in all of this in the first place. How could you leave him, just like that? As easy as it sounded - grabbing some clothes and walking away - the idea of him searching for you, fearing the worst, made you second guess everything.

On the other hand, the part that grew in you every second of every day, wanted you to choose Loki. That part of you, tethered to him so tightly, burned. It flamed and churned, a fire so bright and so hot, that the heat threatened to overwhelm you. But you loved it. You craved it. Every day of the past two years had been absolute agony. It was anguish and torment. And you never wanted to live that again, ever. The simple thought of Loki never coming back burned every fiber of you to a crisp.

You went to bed, curled up into a ball. If you weren’t crying, you were agonizing, anxiety a sharp glass ball in your sternum. And when the time was three and the sky was dusk, the air beside you rattled, disturbed, and the bed dipped beneath the weight of him.

You didn’t want him to see you like this; all swollen eyes and sniffy and hiccupping. You turned to the wall, feeling the warmth of him at your back.

His fingers pulled your hair away from your damp cheek. “He will forget,” Loki said, his voice a hum in the dark, silent bedroom. You frowned. “In time, when it will have been decades, he will forget this small wound.”

“I don’t want to hurt him,” you mumbled, and the fact that Loki knew what you were crying about made your heart leap. “I hate the thought that this will cause him fear and pain.”

Loki curled and arm around your waist, gently pulling you to his chest. He was so warm and solid. “I understand,” he mumbled into your hair. “I know the relationship that you have with your brother is something you never want to lose.”

The tears came again and your lower lip quivered. “He will hate me,” you whispered, sniffing.

Loki’s arm tightened, his hand tucked under your waist. “He will not,” he answered curtly. “I assure you. If you tell him you are safe, in a few years, you’ll be able to see him again.”

“Don’t lie to me, Loki,” you warned, hating that you still didn’t fully trust him. You could tell it wounded him as well because him pulled back away slightly, but then he kissed your temple.

“I am not lying to you, Y/N.” His voice was like honey. “I am promising you. I will do whatever you need me to do to help assure him and to insure you will see him again.”

You knew you needed to flee and be especially invisible for the first years because your sudden absence would spark not only fear and panic but resurging suspicion involving Loki.

But now he was telling you that a few years was all it took and then you’d be able to see Bruce again.

His chin tucked against your shoulder. “I know the fire that can be built between two siblings,” he said, the dark softening with the coming sun. “I also know that the love between them can be stronger than anything in the world.”

Something shifted in you and the dark cloud of sorrow lifted, making the corners of your mouth tug upwards slightly. “I could never leave my brother,” you admitted. “But I also can never leave you.”

You knew he was smiling just by the way you felt his skin move against yours. “I know,” he said, voice thick.

You swallowed hard. “Why did you come back?” you asked, your voice faint.

He was silent for a moment. “I’d never seen the world so bright before,” he murmured, the sound close to your ear. “A thousand years in bleak nothingness. And then you.”

He turned you around slowly until you were lying on your back, his face hovering over yours. you could tell he was shirtless. In the faint light of morning, you could see the sharp outline of him; the straight nose, the edge of his cheekbones, the line of his jaw, the dark halo of his curls.

“You were...” he trailed off, swallowing hard. “You were all to me, in the past two years. You took me out of the dark. I couldn’t lose you. I... I got lost in your brilliance.”

You never thought you’d hear such words from him. In that moment, spread over you, he was vulnerable. Completely open, and he was letting you in. He was letting you see him for the first time.

He kissed you, softly at first, brushing his lips against yours. His hand found your jaw and yours found his shoulder, trailing the curve upward until your could sink your fingers into his hair.

“I am forever yours,” he whispered against your lips.

You squeezed your eyes shut, a sound like a whimper leaving your lips, and his arms tightened around you. He moved until he pressed one knee between your legs, his hands sliding down your arms, raising fire as they went. He lips kept tasting you, his tongue delving past your teeth, and every time his hands found knew skin, it was like touching heaven.

His hands found the band of your pajama shorts and he stilled, raising his head, searching your gaze. “May I?” he asked and you nodded once. He smiled, kissing you deeply as his fingers hooked into the material and pulled down. Your arched your hips off the bed until he could slid shorts and panties off, tossing them at the edge of the bed.

His fingers skimmed the sensitive skin at your hip, trailing across your belly. “I will be good to you, Y/N.” His voice was thick, hard in the silence, but his fingers were delicate as they found your soaked heat. Your chest arched off the mattress, a strangled moan passing through your parted lips.

He pressed two fingers to your clit and rubbed light, slow circles. Your hands turned to fists in the sheets as he bent forward, catching your moan with his mouth. You grabbed onto his shoulders, kissing him back fiercely.

Just having him this close, this intimately near, made you so irrevocably happy.

He pressed slightly harder on your clit, the circles turning into slow rubs until you were writhing against him, whimpering and groaning against his mouth.

“Am I torturing you, love?” he asked against your mouth, kissing along your jaw, down your neck.

“Yes,” you gritted, wriggling your hips, rocking against his hand.

He trailed wet lips along your wind pipe. “What would you like from me, princess?” His voice was pure sin, making a knot begin to coil deep in your belly, like thick, dark smoke. “I am waiting,” he urged.

You dug your nails into his shoulders hard, rocking against his hand, and he chuckled. He slipped two fingers into your core, so easily that it was embarrassing. He hissed, lips turning to teeth on your neck. “All this for me?” he groaned against your skin.

He stroked the spot in you that made you cry out, his thumb applying pressure to your nub.

“My name is all but hard to pronounce, love,” he teased.

You hissed, rocking against his fingers, his thumb, until the coiling turned sharp and his name erupted passed your lips.

“Like that,” he urged, pumping in you until you were gripping his shoulders so hard you were sure there’d be blood.

You held on until the coil erupted and you clenched hard around his fingers, his lips trailing kisses along your jaw. “You are so lovely when you cum for me, darling,” he whispered, voice low, smoky.

You lay there, heart beating relentlessly, breathing in the smell of him, feeling every inch of your flesh on fire.

When you cooled and Loki’s hands were stroking your thighs, you pressed both hands to his chest and pushed until you turned him over. He went with a huff, grasping at your wrists.

You straddled him, watching him look up at you, eyes wide in wonder. His hands found your hips and you sat comfortably, feeling the length of him hard beneath his joggings.

When your fingers trailed down the hard muscle of his stomach and fiddled with the hem of his pants, his hands flew to your wrists, stopping you. “You mustn’t feel obligated,” he told you, eyes sincere in the dimming darkness. “I am satisfied as it is.”

You nodded, but slid your hips back until your could tug at his joggings, pulling it down his hips until his length sprang fee. He gave a sharp inhale and you lowered yourself, grasping him lightly.

“Oh, princess,” he groaned, hand delicately placed on your chin so you could meet his eyes. “You’re so beautiful.”

You smiled, stroking him once, twice, his head lolling back against your pillows. Your belly fluttered at the sight, and you lowered further until you could take the tip between your lips, sucking slightly.

“You are going to be the death of me,” he whispered, hand tangling in your hair, holding it away from your face.

You eased him past your mouth, tasting, humming at the warmth and hardness. His hips bucked up once, unable to restrain himself, and he groaned deep in his chest.

With the hand in your hair, he help you find his rhythm, pushing you down and pulling you up. Your eyes watered with the effort, but the sounds pulling from him all but encouraged you, stoking a fire deep in your belly.

“Fuck,” he whispered when the tip of him hit the back of your throat and you gagged softly. Your lips were beginning to burn, using your hand on the rest of him you couldn’t take further.

He was a lot. A lot of man, and tasting him like so was like a gift.

He hissed sharply, drawing your eyes to him, and when you made eye contact, he bit his lip and his hand clenched. His head lolled back, hips bucking and he stilled you, pushing your head, emptying on your tongue, whispered moans tumbling from his lips.

You gulped him down, feeling your cheeks heat at the idea, but the feel of your swollen lips and your tingling throat all but made you feel... wanted. He lay there, panting, until he chuckled slightly and you shifted off of him.

He reached for you. “Don’t go.” He pulled his joggings back over his hips and turned, bringing your head onto his chest. He kissed you and you reeled. “What?” he asked, voice turning to panic. “Have I hurt you?”

“No!” you said, chuckling. “I just thought that you - um - wouldn’t want to kiss me because, well...” you trailed off.

He waved his hand. “I don’t know who has had you in their bed,” he said, “but men do not fear kissing the woman who has brought them paradise.”

Your cheeks heated and you put your head onto his chest, listening to the erratic sound of his heart.

You fell asleep content, the roil of anxiety quieted for now, with Loki stroking your arm until sleep finally came.

I THINK YOU ALL WILL LOVE WHAT I HAVE PLANNED FOR PART FOURTEEN... damn, i really went all out with this smut, huh. more drama to come yall, but yes, happy ending ;)

TAGS: @subtlemalice @yallgotkik @buckyandlokirunmylife @kaz11283 @legolas-bromance @shylittlemountain @tofeartheunknown @feelmyfckngsoul @kind-of-crazy-butthatsokay @caffiend-queen @tomhollandsslilslut @lady-loki-ren @nathan-no @rosaline-black @abundanceofcarolines @my-own-oracle @it-was-all-a-beautiful-dream @marvelouslovely @drbaureid @bored-as-hell-666 @youhavemyfantasticbeasts @theinfinitenerd @toe-vind-ek-jou @ink-and-starlight @blank-bakabane @sunshineonloki @holaamishamigos @palegoopbearlight @heyarely16 @pleaseexecuteme @athalahild @help-i-need-a-social-life @tapismyforte @coloursforyourportrait @celestialstarshadow @fukyouthink @lust-for-pan @thic-thor @winchescumberholland @morganmofresh @dazedkrosupreme @postsbyjenipeo @copper-boom @jesuswasnotawhiteman

#loki #loki fanfic #loki fic #loki fanfiction #soulmate au #lokixyn #lokixyou #lokixreader #oneshot #imagine #smut #angst

165 notes · View notes

cuddlesslut · 4 years ago

Text

Part Seven: Regrets

Atsumu x fem reader, Suna x rem reader, Hinata x fem reader

A/N: guess who’s fridge went out and won’t be able to get a new one till the 15th 🙋🏻‍♀️😩. Sorry this chapter is shorter than usual it’s kind of a filler But next chapter should be pretty long. I know a couple of people were wonder what happened with him so here we are with the return of a character. I might set up a poll for who should YN end up with so look out for that. I’m going to start writing my next story soon it’s going to be another angst!

Warning: Angst that’s about it. Maybe a lil lewd language.

Part Six: Promises

Part Eight: Hope

He laid in his empty bed staring up at his ceiling the only sound filtering through the room was the echo of the tv in the livingroom. He didn’t have the energy to go shut it off, plus he found comfort the noise it brought he found the silence unbearable. He sighed as he looked at the open space next to him. He never took much stock in how empty it felt without you next to him. The smell of your shampoo had long since vanished from the pillows. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine you were here next to him your head resting on his chest your hands interwoven talking about your plans for the day but while the memory played in his head clear as day his body had forgotten your warmth. It wasn’t too hard to picture , you had spent several morning just like that wrapped in each other’s embrace. He thinks to the mornings he’d walk out of his early showers to find you leaning against the kitchen counter drinking your morning coffee. He can still remember how you enjoyed your first cup of coffee to start your day. You liked your coffee sweet , but to were you could still taste the rich coffee flavor, always pairing it with an array of creamers. He remembers when you first started staying over at his place and he realized your affinity for flavored coffee he went out to the store and stocked up on as many flavors he could find in hopes you’d stay for more coffee before heading off to school. He loved that sight in the morning walking out and seeing you clad in just his shirt your hair a mess from last nights activities. But you weren’t here to have coffee in the morning, all of the creamers starting to expire, and he had no one to blame but himself.

Atsumu has spent the last seven month alone. There were a few nights he’d tried to pick up girls just to try and fill the gigantic hole left in his life by your absence but those all ended in disaster. One night he tried to have a careless hook up it didn’t get past the front door when he accidentally moaned your name when the random girl had cupped his manhood. She wasn’t very happy about that. He received a knee to the groin as she fleed the house. Another time he tried he was able to keep his mouth shut from making any mistakes after choosing a girl who was nothing like you but then he had another problem. He couldn’t get it up. You plagued his thoughts. You were the only woman his body wanted. It was quite embarrassing.

After Suna rocked his shit he finally started to snap out of his self pity. Why the hell was he crying? Because he was lonely? He can only imagine how lonely you felt every night he didn’t come home. He sighs running his hands down his face he really was a piece of shit he thinks. He didn’t treat you the way you deserved and he knows that. He knows he was selfish and inconsiderate. He knows he’s way to late but he regrets everything he did. Every single mistake eats away at him. None of it was worth it. Every flirt, every compliment that boosted his ego, the rush of excitement of being with someone else it was all worthless compared to being with you. He thinks back to everynight he stayed out late or he canceled dates, about the pain that hid behind your eyes. Now that his head wasn’t stuck up his ass he could finally see all of the misery he put you through. And he hated himself for it.

The setter wanted nothing more that to fix all of his mistakes, but he knew he was too late. Atsumu didn’t expect you to ever in a thousand years forgive him or even in a million years want him back, but he knows he can’t just do nothing. He’d spend the rest of his days trying to make amends. After Suna had pointed out how horrible he was for not looking for you he did everything to find you. He started by calling the University to see if you had been attending class but even with the title of fiancé , which he understood was false by not adding former to the title, they refused him any information to protect your privacy. He had long noticed the empty bank account but he wasn’t worried about that the money it was the least you deserved. Plus the fantasy of making you his wife and calling you YN Miya was nothing but a pipe dream now. So he’s sure the money would do you better. He tried to follow any money trail you left. He found the hotel that you must have run to that night. But even that was a bust leading to a dead end. He only knew one more course of action. He called your parents. They refused to answer his calls. Eventually he drove down to Hyogo by himself. The setter stood there on the front steps he’d stand on every morning when he’d walk you to school. It felt so familiar to knock on the cedar door, but everything felt so distant from his memories. Still he wasn’t quite sure what he expected, maybe for you to answer the door with a bright smile like you had all those years ago yet what he received was your mother standing there with a look of disgust present. He didn’t get a word in before she slammed the door in his face. He begged for her come back to please talk to him he just needed answers but he only received silence. He stayed there for close to an hour trying to get just a morsel of information. It was useless they refused to speak to him. That was his last idea he could come up with for finding you. Full of dread he made his way to his car ready to make the long drive home. The next day he received a phone call from his brother.

“Hey Samu what’s u-” the blonde started before his grey haired twin interrupted his greeting going straight to the point.

“She’s alive and fine,” Atsumus heart stuttered before he breathed a sigh of relief. He opened his mouth to ask his next question but Osamu cut him off yet again already knowing what his twin was going to ask.

“No we don’t know where she is. Kita-Senpai went to her parents and all they’d state was she was alive and out of harm, not that I’d tell you where she is if I knew,” Osamu’s tone was sharp. Atsumu knew he deserved that. His brother had made him well aware of his dissatisfaction in the blondes actions. He had to thank the his brother though, as upset he was with him he still looked out for him. Always checking up on him making sure he was eating and keeping up with his hygiene, throwing away all the liquor he could find because as disappointed he was with Atsumu he couldn’t let him tear himself apart.

“I know Samu, thank you for telling me.” He spoke softly before clicking the end call button.

He accepted that it was best he stayed out of your life. He wanted to make everything up to you and if staying out of your life was wanted then he’d respect your wishes. He spent the next months bettering himself. He cut all alcohol out of his life. Only going out when it was with his teammates although that was a rare occurrence they were also quite disappointed with how he had treated you, especially his wing spiker Sakusa. Omi-Omi had always had a soft spot for you. But still they didn’t let it affect their game play. He focused all of his energy on volleyball. He even started going to a few therapy sessions for his self distructive behaviors and impulses. He really wanted to do and be better if not for you then for himself. Although he still had trouble being home alone without you, never feeling quite whole. With out you this house would never truly be his home again. He was starting to get better and not drown in agony every morning he woke up alone although he knew he deserved it. One step that had made the process easier was boxing up the remainder of your belongings that you had left. For so long he had kept everything just as you left it hopeful for your return thinking maybe everything could go back to normal and life could be picked up where it was left off although this time he’d swear to never hurt you again. It was unrealistic to think that though. His therapist had told his several times it was a step he needed to take and while it took several months he was finally able to remove any trace from the house. That night he cried him self to sleep from the finality that came from not seeing a piece of you around as though you had never been there in the first place.

He regretted not cherishing you for the amazing woman you are. He’ll never forgive himself for losing the best thing to everything to happen to him. At Seven months since that night he was finally able to breath when he went home, not suffocating from regret every moment present in those walls. The Jackals were on a winning streak and even more exciting they had just got a new member. And after all these years he was able to hold up at least one promise he had made after breaking so many at least he could fulfill one promise by finally getting to set for Shoyo Hinata.

Home Masterlist

Taglist is Open

Taglist: @animeboihoe @karlitabi-rrito @mutli-fandom-fanfic @comically-sleep-deprived @madmelle @momoinot @eggbutnotyolk @yunhosblackgf @6sakusa @diesinspanishbcimhispanic @a-fucking-simp @its-babybitch @sakusasonlywife @japanushiiiii @dekuspet @sredamancy @haikyuusimp91 @shoyosbitchh @far-off-dream @tsukkisfatsimp @nestlevanilla @simply-not-the-same @porcolie @uwubby-1 @ahopefulbouquetcollection @graykageyama @elianetsantana @allykat7599 @airybnb @wonhomarshmallow @minnieminnie00-got7 @weebtato

Bolded accounts couldn’t be tagged

341 notes · View notes

cherienymphe · 4 years ago

Text

Protect & Serve (Steve Rogers x Reader)

WARNINGS: Cop!Steve, mentions of abuse, mentions of miscarriage, eventual STALKING/KIDNAPPING/NON-CON

IF ANY OF THIS OFFENDS YOU, PLEASE DNI

Also this series will be based off of one of my worst fears, so you guys have fun with this.

➥ {page breaks done by @whimsicalrogers}

summary: escaping an ugly past, you have no choice but to return home. While much has remained the same, Officer Rogers is a new addition who has won over the hearts of the town in your absence. And no one believes you when you start to see him for who he really is

You threw the last of your empty boxes into the garbage in front of your house. Your back ached, and your legs were screaming for a reprieve, but you’d been determined to finish unpacking by the end of the day. And so you had.

The cicadas were loud in the nearby trees, the dark sky decorated with stars. Though you were back down south, you’d forgotten how cool the nights could get. You tightened your sweater around you as you looked along the street. In the years past, so much had changed…but a lot had remained the same.

With a sigh, you turned to make your way back into the house. You’d been running like a train nonstop for the past 3 days, determined to completely unpack and get settled long before school started back. You wanted one less thing to worry about.

You placed your back against the door as you closed it, taking a calming breath and locking it. You closed your eyes, reminding yourself that you were safe. Your ex-husband was far away and none the wiser to your location. You had nothing to be afraid of. You chanted this to yourself until you were able to finally move away from the door.

Your modest house was so quiet, and you welcomed the silence as you made your way upstairs. The atmosphere was so peaceful, and for the first time in a long time, you could hear your own thoughts. Living with Aldrich for so long, you’d forgotten what that had felt like.

He was regularly criticizing anything he could think of, his biting words packaged in a smile that was a tad too wide. Kissing you a tad too harsh and grabbing you a tad too tight. You honestly didn’t know how you’d put up with it for so long. You were disappointed with yourself, but even more disappointed that it took a miscarriage for you to finally leave him.

It should never have come to that.

You settled into bed, somewhat uncomfortable, but only in a way that was unfamiliar to you. You were alone and safe and at peace for the first time in years. Determined to have a good night’s sleep, you pushed painful thoughts out of your mind, and vowed to make your regrets fuel your new future.

The grocer handed your bags to you with a shy smile on his face, cheeks flushing when your fingers brushed over his.

“Thanks,” you told him.

“Have a good day,” he recited, something he probably said a hundred times a day.

You left with a quiet ‘you too’ thrown over your shoulder before making your way outside. The town was filled with both familiar and unfamiliar faces alike. Sure, you’d been gone for almost 10 years, but you hadn’t expected your small town to have expanded this much in a million years.

You noticed a scratch on the side of your car when you neared it, and you took a closer look. With a huff, you looked around, but no one was parked near you and no shopping carts were close by either. Convincing yourself that it wasn’t that big of a deal, you settled into your car and placed your groceries in the passenger seat.

As you drove down the familiar street, you chuckled to yourself, recalling how you vowed to never return here. The universe had a twisted sense of humor that way because here you were, almost 10 years later, seeking sanctuary in the one place you hated most. Perhaps, in a way, this was your life lesson.

You’d been so desperate to get out of this backwards small town that you’d run off with the first man to give you the chance. How foolish you were then to think you were in love. You were just barely an adult, could hardly even be called one. Aldrich Killian was older and gorgeous and most importantly, he’d been going places.

A chance of luck, or perhaps misfortune, had placed him in your nowhere town, and you’d fallen head over heels immediately. He took to you just the same, and there was no hesitation whatsoever to run off with him to the big city. You left everything and everyone behind without a backwards glance.

He hid his true nature well. So well that it took you an entire two years into the relationship to learn about the other women. Having traveled all the way to New York on his coattails, you’d been distraught…and hurt. You may have been silly then, but not that silly.

He came home the next day to find you gone. His money made it easy for him to track you down at a friend’s place though, and the romantic in you was swayed by the sight of the powerful man on his knees, begging for your forgiveness. Surprisingly, he was true to his word, and from then on out, you were the only one.

But your relief was short-lived. You soon came to find out that these other women had something in common with the way he treated them, and with them out of the picture, you soon had that very same thing in common too.

It started out small. A raised voice here, a harsh grip there, but then he’d slapped you. Real hard too. It had left your ears ringing, and you’d been so shocked, that you didn’t see the next one coming. It became a regular occurrence, but it was always followed up by gifts and apologetic words. He’d be good for a few days, and it became easy to believe things would change. But like clockwork, the cycle repeated.

You hadn’t even known that you were pregnant when he shoved you down the stairs. You could only blink in shock when the doctor told you that you’d suffered a miscarriage. That was one of the first things you heard when you woke up inside of the hospital, and the sudden loss of something you didn’t even know you had was heartbreaking.

So when they asked for the truth, suspicion already in their eyes as they looked at the fading bruises and the fresh ones, you gave it to them without hesitation. Proving it was easy enough, and the divorce papers had been drawn up in no time, but Aldrich had money. A lot of it too.

He didn’t even do some measly community service.

You scoffed in the quiet car, hands tightening on the wheel. All of that was over now. You were back home and far away from him. Things would be different now. They had to be…

You frowned when your car started to sputter, confusion filling you as your eyes widened. You looked at the dash, and your confusion grew as you realized you were completely out of gas. A disbelieving scoff left you as you had no choice but to turn your car off. You sat back in your seat with a sigh, blinking as you realized that you had no one to call.

All of your family was gone, and all of your former friends had long left. The ones that hadn’t, the bridge had been burned long ago. Grabbing yours keys and your purse and the few grocery bags you had, you decided you’d have to walk home. It wasn’t too far of a walk. In New York, it’d be considered nothing.

It was late in the evening though, and you were sure it was going to be dark before you reached your house. You didn’t feel comfortable just leaving your car on the side of the road, but you didn’t exactly have a choice. This stretch of road was lengthy, and the thought of being out here at night made you nervous.

You squinted when red and blue reflected off of the pavement from over your shoulder. You looked over just as a police cruiser pulled up beside you. Your heart skipped a beat when the person inside turned it off and proceeded to exit the car. He curved around the front of the car, and you blinked at the full sight of him.

His blond hair was neatly pushed away from his face, and you sharply inhaled at his handsome features. He was tall, and his blue eyes were focused entirely on you as he approached you. His smile was kind, inviting even, and you were tempted to return it, but something prevented you from doing so. He reminded you of your ex-husband, and you warily eyed the way his uniform hugged him, plastered to the bands of muscle that were his arms.

“Evening, ma’am,” he greeted.

“Good evening,” you murmured.

“Was that your car I passed not too long ago?”

You looked in the direction of where you left your car before nodding.

“I…ran out of gas. Which is odd because I was sure I had over half a tank when I left home,” you told him.

He chuckled, and you frowned at him. Catching sight of your glower, he shook his head, taking a step towards you.

“I’m not laughing at you, I promise. It just seems that the punks in this town got another victim.”

He pointed in the direction of your car.

“You got yourself an older model, one that doesn’t require the gas cap to be opened from the inside. They like to steal gas from whoever they can,” he explained.

With a scoff, you realized they were still pulling that mess the teens did before you left. How silly of you to think the kids here would move onto bigger and better things. The blond before you spoke before you had the chance to.

“You live far?”

You squinted up at him, hesitating before eventually shaking your head.

“Not really…no.”

You watched as he walked to the passenger side, opening the door as he faced you.

“Let me drive you home,” he offered.

Your face pinched, wondering how to refuse. You didn’t get in the car with strangers, no matter their profession. You started to shake your head.

“It’s not that far. I can walk-.”

“It’s going to get dark soon, and you need to get those groceries in the fridge.”

He wasn’t wrong, but still, you hesitated. He threw you a crooked smile, leaning his arm on the open door now.

“I won’t be able to rest if I don’t know you made it home, so if you don’t get in, I’ll just have to ride alongside you,” he teased.

Although, you got the feeling that he was entirely serious. Reluctantly, you walked towards the cruiser.

“Okay.”

He closed the door for you as you made yourself comfortable, clicking your seatbelt into place.

“Are you really that responsible or is it just because you’re in the car with me?” he wondered with a chuckle as he sat beside you.

“Just that responsible,” you murmured as he started the car.

You gave him directions to your house, and he followed them with a hum.

“You’re new,” he suddenly said.

It was a statement, not a question, and you frowned.

“Hardly,” you said, shaking your head.

“Huh. I’ve never seen you around…”

You squirmed in your seat at his questions, and you fought with yourself. You told yourself that you were just so skittish after your ex-husband, and you told yourself to calm down. This man wasn’t him.

“I only recently moved back,” you eventually replied.

“How long you been gone?”

He took a left, and you blew out a breath.

“Almost…10 years?”

He let out a low whistle, tapping his finger on the wheel.

“No wonder. I moved to town about 6 years ago. 10 years is an awfully long time,” he noted. “What made you come back?”

“Divorce.”

He didn’t respond right away, and you could feel him eyeing you.

“I’m sorry,” he quietly said.

“Don’t be,” you honestly replied.

You pointed at your house, and he pulled into the yard. You tried not to be so obvious as you hurried to get out of his car. You were halted by a hand on your arm, and you looked over at him.

“Don’t worry about your car. I’ll get some gas in it and make sure it arrives here safe and sound,” he said with a smile.

“Oh, you don’t have to-.”

“Don’t worry about it. Consider as part of my job description.”

You nodded, finally throwing him a small smile.

“Thank you…” you eyed his badge. “Officer Rogers.”

He chuckled, shaking his head.

“Please…call me Steve.”

You simply replied with a strained smile before exiting the car. He watched you as you made your way to your door, and when you finally got it open, you waved him goodbye. He returned it, but he didn’t drive off. Not even when you closed and locked the door.

Through the window, you watched him sit there for a while, longer than you deemed necessary. Eventually, he pulled out of your yard, and you turned to put your groceries away with a frown.

“Y/N Y/L/N… I haven’t seen you in ages…”

You glanced up at the familiar voice, and your eyes widened as they connected with familiar blue ones. You blinked.

“Wanda,” you greeted in surprise. “…hi.”

She placed her hand on the chair across from you, grinning as her reddish-brown hair spilled around her shoulders.

“So you’re back,” she said.

“So I am,” you nodded. “You look great!”

“You’re one to talk. When you skipped town, you were this confused little girl who didn’t know who she was trying to be. Now you come back here and you’re like something out of every miserable husband’s wet dream,” she teased.

You scoffed at that, shaking your head.

“Hardly…”

“Still as blind as ever, I see. Are you back in the old house?” she wondered.

You shook your head.

“No. I considered it, but… It’s too painful,” you told her.

She solemnly nodded, and you perked up.

“So…do you work here?” you wondered, glancing around the impressive diner.

She smirked.

“Sort of. It’s actually kind of mine now…”

Your lips parted, and a genuine smile fell over them.

“You bought it,” you said, in awe.

“I did,” she breathed, glancing around. “I always said I would…but part of me didn’t think I’d ever do it.”

“…but you did! And it looks amazing! You actually turned this place into something worth coming to,” you complimented her.

She hummed, taking the seat in front of you as she looked around with a wistful sigh.

“This could’ve been ours, you know…”

She looked at you, and you glanced away.

“Yeah, well… I was too busy chasing dick,” you replied, and she laughed.

“You were young and in love! If I’d had an Aldrich Killian offering to whisk me away from here, I’d have done the same too.”

“…and I would have locked you away to prevent you from ruining your life,” you threw back.

Her smile fell, and her eyes dimmed a tad as she studied you.

“Trouble in paradise?”

“There is no paradise. I’m not sure there ever was…”

There was a brief awkward silence, and she suddenly sighed.

“Was he the reason you didn’t come for the funerals?”

You didn’t reply, but there was no need to. She shook her head.

“I knew you wouldn’t just…not come. Everybody else was so convinced, but not me. I knew there had to be a good reason… Where did he drag you to anyway?”

You leaned back in your chair with a wistful smile.

“New York.”

“Was it at least fun?”

You mulled over her question before you shook your head.

“No. Aldrich…liked women,” you said with a shrug.

Wanda’s face fell at that.

“…and…when he gave those women up so I would stay, I found out that…he liked hitting women even more,” you quietly continued.

“Y/N,” she whispered, reaching across the table to take your hand.

“I’m past it…mostly. Some of us just have to learn our life lessons the hard way,” you told her with a shrug.

“Don’t say that. You loved him! That’s hardly worthy of a punishment. Sometimes, people are just shitty, and it has nothing to do with us.”

The bell over the door rang from behind you, and Wanda loudly welcomed them without even glancing up. Several voices filled the establishment, and you noted that they traveled and congregated to a table in the back corner, behind you. You heard footsteps approaching, and Wanda finally glanced up. You watched as she grinned at the newcomer.

“Steve!”

You followed her gaze, and sure enough, it was the officer from the other day. You didn’t know if he was on break or getting off of a shift, but he was still in uniform. His hands were on his hips as he looked between you two, a slow smile moving along his pink lips.

“Wanda…ma’am,” he greeted.

Wanda gestured to you.

“This is my friend-.”

“We’ve actually already met, but I never did get the pleasure of learning your name…”

You cleared your throat, feeling put on the spot as Wanda looked at you.

“Y/N,” you told him.

His smile slowly widened, and he ran his eyes over your face, drinking you in.

“Y/N,” he greeted again. “It’s nice to put a name to the face.”

You simply replied with a tense smile as you laid your arms on the table.

“Wanda, me and the rest of the crew are going to have the usual,” he told her.

“Of course! I’ll get Gwen to get right on it.”

He smiled at her.

“Thanks.”

He looked to you, blue eyes connecting with yours.

“Y/N,” he acknowledged with a nod just before leaving.

“You’re in town for five minutes and already have an admirer,” she slyly said once he was out of earshot.

“No, I’m in town for five minutes, and you’re already trying to set me up,” you corrected.

She waved you off.

“I’m just saying…he’s nice. I’m not telling you to marry the guy, but he’s a good man. As squeaky clean as they come,” she told you.

“So you’re saying that’s what I need?” you sarcastically wondered.

“I’m not saying you need anything. I just think it’d be nice for you…and he clearly likes you. Leave it to you to be back for five minutes and catch the eye of the most sought-after man in town,” she breathed. “Every woman within a 75-mile radius has been trying to bag Steve Rogers ever since he breezed into the city limits 6 years ago.”

“Well then you take him.”

“I would, but I’m happily taken. Besides, he seems to have his eye on someone else. How did you meet him anyway?”

You happily told her of your embarrassing encounter with the man that was sitting not even 5 tables away.

You watched as the tow truck pulled your car just beside the curb in front of your house. Officer Rogers and his cruiser were parked on the other side of the driveway, and the blond man leaned against the vehicle as he supervised the process. Only a few minutes later, and your car was back, and the truck was driving off as Steve waved them off.

You hugged your sweater to you as you approached him. He met you halfway, and you sent him an appreciative smile.

“Thank you,” you breathed. “You honestly didn’t have to do that. I could’ve easily put some gas in it and drove it home.”

“…but you would’ve had to walk to the gas station to fill a gas jug, and then walk to your car,” he said, shaking his head. “It was nothing, really.”

“Either way, I still feel bad. I was more than capable…”

He chuckled.

“So how do you know Wanda? You girls go way back or something?”

“Yeah,” you said with a nod. “We were two troublemakers.”

He found that funny, maybe because Wanda was so different now. He rubbed the side of his neck, and his face slowly began to fall.

“When you told me your name, I thought it sounded familiar, you know. You’re Y/N Y/L/N…aren’t you?”

Your own visage grew solemn, and you slowly nodded.

“I’m sorry about your family. I know it happened years ago, but… I wanted to offer my condolences all the same,” he whispered.

You took a deep breath, chest clenching.

“Thank you. I really appreciate that…and for my car,” you added, trying to lighten the mood. “You really didn’t have to do that…nor drive me home that night.”

The corner of his lips quirked upwards ever so slightly, and his blue eyes sparkled.

“Well…if you’re feeling that bad about it…treat me to dinner,” he offered.

You blinked, taken off guard by his bold proposal, and your lips parted as words failed you. He ran his eyes over you as he waited for your response. You thought about Wanda’s words. She assured you that he was a good guy, and to be honest, you wanted a good guy…but not yet.

Your divorce had only been finalized a few months ago, and you really needed time to yourself. You were barely an adult when you ran off with Aldrich, and you’d spent the last decade with him. You wanted to know who you were when you weren’t with him. You owed yourself that.

“I uh…I’m flattered, really, but… I’m not really interested in anything like that for the time being,” you honestly replied.

His eyes dimmed just a bit, but the smile never wavered. You felt bad.

“I’m really sorry. Besides, it just…doesn’t seem appropriate for some reason.”

Steve sharply inhaled and nodded.

“I understand. Have a good night,” he said before taking a step back and turning to go to his car.

You sighed as you watched him go, but you knew that it was for the best. You made your way inside of your quiet house, hoping for a good night of sleep, but sleep did not easily find you.

Too many things were on your mind.

Seeing Wanda brought back so many memories that you would honestly rather forget. She reminded you of a time you spent sneaking out to meet her, idly dreaming of things you halfway hoped to accomplish. An already rocky relationship with your family that only crumbled when you took off.

You thought about how you didn’t talk to them for years, too busy following Aldrich around like a lost dog. You’d thought you had more time. You had put off what you knew you needed to do again and again. You thought the chance would always be there…until it wasn’t.

In a single night, your entire family had been ripped away from you. A car accident. Something so simple. Aldrich hadn’t even let you go to the funeral. By then, he’d grown possessive, and it wasn’t long after that he started putting his hands on you. Part of you thought he’d waited until you had no one to run to.

You sat up in bed when you heard a noise on the side of your house. You were upstairs, and the fact that it was loud enough to reach your ears worried you. Slowly, and quietly, you left your bed, creeping towards the window.

At first, you didn’t see anything and thought that you’d imagined it. However, what you thought was a part of the general darkness, moved. Your eyes widened, and you reached for your phone, immediately dialing 911.

“911, what’s your emergency?”

You stumbled over your address, the numbers and street name still new to you, but you shakily told her about the strange man in your yard. Your eyes didn’t leave him the entire time, and relief didn’t fill you when the silhouette eventually left.

One of the upsides to a small town was that it took no time for you to hear sirens coming from down the street. You hurriedly ran downstairs, opening the door as the cruiser pulled into your yard. Steve greeted you, and you did calm down a bit at the familiar face.

“Is he still here?” was the first thing he asked, one hand on his gun.

“I don’t know,” you whispered, placing one hand on your heart and the other on your forehead.

He briefly touched your shoulder before telling you he was going to secure the perimeter of the property. You stood in your doorway while he did so, trying, and failing, to convince yourself that you’d imagined it. After all, the worst thing to happen in your town was your family’s car accident. Strange men skulking about people’s homes was unheard of.

When Steve was done, he shook his head at you, one foot on your steps.

“It’s all clear.”

You didn’t know whether or not to be relieved.

“Are you sure it was a man? Not some animal?”

You shrugged.

“I…don’t know. I was trying to fall asleep just before so it’s possible. I’m sorry,” you apologized.

He sighed.

“It’s alright. This is my job, remember? This is what I’m here for,” he told you.

“Thank you,” you breathed. “I appreciate it, Steve.”

He paused, blue eyes connecting with yours as the corner of his lips curved upwards into a smirk.

“That’s Officer Rogers to you.”

You blinked, brows furrowing just a tad as he turned away.

“You try to get some sleep,” he threw over his shoulder.

You hurriedly closed your door as he drove away, frown deepening as you mulled over his cold behavior.

tags: @harryspet @darkficreposter @mcudarklibrary @jtargaryen18 @kellyn1604 @readermia @sebabestianstan101 @villanellevi @opheliadawnwalker3 @notyourtypicalrose @nickyl316h @captainchrisstan @coconutqueen21 @briannab1234 @buckybarnesplumwhore

#dark!steve rogers #dark!steve x reader #Dark Fic #cop!au #cop!steve #cop au #Steve Rogers #dark steve rogers #steve rogers x reader

1K notes · View notes

suchalonelysunflower · 4 years ago

Text

Babylon (l.h)

End Up Here -Part 5

Pairing: Luke Hemmings x 5sos! Fem! Reader

Summary: A lot has happened and too many things were left unsaid. Even after a month they still find ways to be in each others mind.

Warnings: Angst and smut. Mentions of vioence, physical abuse, mental abuse, sexual abuse, harassment, cheating, fighting, sexism, frustrations, alcohol. Language and some grammatical errors (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word count : 10.1 k

Author’s Note: I cried a lot writing this, so I’m sorry. Final Part coming up March 16th! Remember that Reblogs, Feedback, Comments and Likes are very important! You have no idea how much they help me ❤️ Hope you like it and Happy Reading 🦋🌻✨

My Materialist // wanna be part of my tag list?

Series Materialist || part 1 || part 2 || part 3 || part 4

Liked by banksmadden, 5soslover55 and 1,750,316 others

yn5sos how did I end up here?

View all 55,432 comments

ashtonirwin who’s there with you?

hater7 pathetic

ynfan2 LEAVE HER ALONE PLEASE

5sosfan9 this is so irresponsible. I thought you were better.

↪️ yn5sos me too

“OUT OF CONTROL: Singer Y/N L/N seeing partying once again after the concert. L/N was last seen with a crowd of people, none of which were her bandmates”

“Sensitive, are we? On their last concert, Y/N L/N from the band 5 Seconds of Summer was caught running away from the stage mid-show, leaving her poor bandmates Calum Hood and Michael Clifford to finish the song for her. L/N came back minutes later to finish the show. Videos show the singer crying along to the love songs”

“5SOS BREAKING UP? SINGER Y/N L/N GOING M.I.A ON BAND’S SOCIAL MEDIA LEAVES FANS CONFUSED AND WORRIED”

“Y/N?!” Ashton kept banging at the door. His patience ran thin as the girl refused to answer “Y/N! C’mon!”

“She’s still not answering?” A voice called behind him.

Calum and Michael were already dressed up, ready for another day of interviews in a foreign language. Ashton assumed that the girls were already downstairs waiting for them.

The older man shook his head, frustration clear on his face as he kept banging on the door like it was his drums.

“Y/N, I will break down the door if you don’t open it!”

It wasn’t an empty promise. They could pay the hotel after but he’d be damned if something happens to Y/N.

She hasn’t been herself since Luke left. When they came back from doing promo that day they were met with the news of him leaving. Y/N didn’t leave her room that whole day.

They were mad, furious even, with Luke. All the things they warned him about were thrown down the drain. They told them not to believe the media and to talk to Y/N but he did none of those things, he only made it worse for all of them, especially the girl who was now spending half the tour absent-minded over heartbreak.

She told them several times that she was fine “I asked him to leave” She would say. But they know better than to believe her right away when she says those stuff, not after that night when she told them the truth about Madden. They swore never to make that mistake again, but history was repeating itself! Only this time it was ten times worse.

Y/N would go out every night after the show, no matter in which part of the world they found themselves in. She was determined to drown herself in alcohol rather than self-pity. They tried to spot her several times but she wouldn’t listen, so they agreed that at least one of them would accompany her whenever she went out just to make sure that she is safe and that she doesn’t go too far.

Last night, however, it was Michael’s turn but Beth felt sick so he couldn't go. He texted Calum, but he was already asleep so he didn’t see the message. Ashton was out with Dani for a date night and when he came back he found Michael in the lobby asking for some medicine for Beth’s stomach and when Calum answered their call with a sleepy voice they realized that Y/N was alone.

And now she wouldn’t answer the door.

“Y/N, I swear to God!”

“Why do you gotta bring the lord into this?”

The three men turned around and found Y/N standing next to them. Her hair was messy and her makeup was smudged, but his eyes remained empty as she looked at them quizzically.

“Were you already downstairs this whole time?!” Ashton asked, raising his voice. Y/N cringed as she shushed him.

“Ugh, could you talk any louder? My head is killing me”

Calum looked at his friend up and down, realizing what was happening “You just came back, didn’t you?”

All three of them turned their heads to her, unable to believe what was in front of them. This wasn’t the Y/N they knew. She was never like this, ever.

Y/N rolled her eyes at the sad, angry, and pitiful looks of her friends. She didn’t need to answer what was obvious.

“Where were you all this time?” Michael asked “We were worried sick”

“Wow, thanks dad,” She said with sarcasm, walking towards her door as she tried to find her key somewhere along with her pockets “I was at the bar. Did you know they open 24 hs? There’s no such thing as the last call here! I love this country”

She let out a little squeal of joy when she finally found her key, pushing Ashton out of the way with the side of her body as she inserted it on the lock.

“We have an interview in 30 minutes!” He reminded her.

“Yeah, your girl told me that downstairs” She answered before she started to close the door “Have fun with that”

But before she could close it completely, Ashton’s foot got in the way.

“You can’t keep doing this, Y/N,” He said with a serious tone, ignoring the pain of the door hitting his foot, still trying to close on him.

Y/N pushed a little harder “I want to sleep, Ashton. Good night”

“No! Goddammit, Y/N. This has gone too far!”

She opened the door, making Ashton trip, and almost fell to the floor in front of her. She was beyond pissed as she began to talk.

“No! Everything has already gone too far, I’m just catching up!” She spat loudly, making the boys look at her in surprise “Madden went too far, the media went too far, the industry went too far and Luke went too far. And I let them crash into me like I’m just a bystander, waiting to pick up the pieces they left of me! So excuse me for finally doing whatever they thought I did. Forgive me for catching up to this fucked up world and finally live up to their false expectations! But I’m not allowed to break down, not right now and probably not ever! So I will keep running. Maybe that way, if I catch up, they’ll leave me the fuck alone” Her eyes filled with tears as she spoke, but she will not cry in front of them. Not anymore “So, good fucking night”

Ashton closed his eyes when he felt the wind of the door slamming inches away from his face. He raised his hand to knock again, but soon he let it fall with a sigh.

He turned around to face the guys and they all had the same hurt expression, not because she hurt them, but because she was hurting herself. They all thought she was doing it unconsciously, but now it was rather obvious that she knew exactly what she was doing.

Y/N is destroying herself because there’s almost nothing left of her. So she’s speeding up the process.

“We can’t leave her like that” Michael said in a whisper, none of them were looking at the door right now, all their eyes were set on the floor as they contemplated their options.

“Well, she doesn’t want to see us. That’s for fucking sure” Calum murmured.

The three men stood in silence in the hallway. Breathing heavily from time to time as their minds tried to find a way to reach out to Y/N before it was too late.

“We have to do something” Michael broke the silence again, fidgeting with his fingers as he met the worried eyes of his two best friends “The fans are already saying that she’s going to leave the band and-“

“No,” Ashton interrupted him, clenching his jaw as the headlines of the articles ran through his mind “We are not letting that happen”

“But what if she wants to?”

“Then that’s not our Y/N/N,” He said “And I refuse to lose her this way or in any way, for that matter”

After a few minutes, it was clear that Y/N was not coming out of her room any time soon. So the boys had to get downstairs to get to the interviews, already thinking about excuses to justify her absence once again.

They wanted to stay with her, but management was already being too hard on them as it is, and they didn’t want Y/N to pay the consequences if they didn’t show up to at least one promo interview. So they had no choice but to leave her alone in her room.

Once the elevator doors opened, the three of them were met with the worried eyes of their girlfriends who quickly met up with them halfway.

“How is she doing? She didn’t speak to us when she came through the doors” Bethany explained as she stood next to Michael, grabbing his hand in comfort.

Ashton just shook his head.

“We talked,” Kat said with a sigh “We decided that we are staying here with her”

“What?”

“You’ll be fine in the interviews without us, but she needs someone. Even if we just wait for her in the lobby all day. Someone needs to check up on her” Kat continued.

“She’s lonely,” Danielle followed, “Even if she doesn’t want to admit it. She’s hurting too much for words to even describe”

The boys knew they were right. Even if Y/N doesn’t want to, they will still be there for her every step of the way. They were not going to leave her to drown.

“Thank you,” Ashton said, truthfully “But there’s gotta be something else we could do for her… just standing by and keeping an eye on her while she wastes away is just…”

He couldn’t finish the sentence, he didn’t need to. They all knew what he was referring to; that damn feeling of helplessness and hopelessness.

“We’ll figure something out,” Calum said confidently “We are not going to give up on her”

There was nothing much to do back in L.A. as Luke found out when he stepped out of the plane almost a month ago. His life has completely changed since he met her and now… Now she was gone and he was left with nothing.

It was his own fault, that’s what he reminded himself every single day since the morning Y/N asked him to leave. He acted on emotions rather than with reason, angry with the world that allowed him to get close to her just to rip her out of his hands the moment he realized his mistakes. He should’ve listened, should’ve fought, should’ve stayed. He should’ve done a lot of things and now he doesn’t even have the chance to fix it.

He hasn’t checked anything about Y/N since he came back. No articles, no tweets, no posts… nothing. He feels as if he didn’t have the right anymore. He never had the right to do it from the beginning, not without letting them fill his brains with lies that eventually left him in pieces.

How could he? How could he let all those things get to him? Everyone told him to ignore them, not to believe the lies that were written for the clicks and the gossip. He knew the truth, he lived with it, and yet, he had turned on her the second it had become too much.

Y/N was a private person and Luke could never understand why. Why if she was so private with her life did every news article write about her? They were all lies. And if he had at least an ounce of decency he would’ve realized that sooner and stand by her side instead of siding with the media. Yet, those thoughts were sticking with him at the back of his head, haunting him even in his sleep.

How easy it was for him to turn away from her. How easy it was for him to leave her. But how hard it was to ignore the love he feels for her, knowing that she won’t take him back and with good reason. Y/N deserves better, in every way, shape, or form. She was such a bright light in such a dark world, and he just hopes she will be strong enough to see it someday, even if he’s not by her side anymore.

God, he was just a fucking idiot.

And now, as he walked past the coffee shop where they first met while he fought the urge to cry again, he was willing to beat himself up for it. For losing the only person he cared about just because he wasn’t brave enough to fight for her as he should’ve. There wasn’t anything that didn’t remind him of Y/N, nothing he could do to shake the self-inflicted pain he caused, so he thought better than to let it consume him.

Luke sat on an empty bench near the campus, his classes didn’t start until a month from today but he longed for some kind of distraction. Once he settled, he took out his notebook and started writing. He doesn’t write about love anymore, rather he wrote about the loss of it while still mourning it fresh on the flesh. Finally understanding what Ashton meant when he said that heartbreak breaks you, and, for a moment, he thought about how she might feel at this moment; if she, at least once, thought of him with something wasn’t hate.

He spent hours sitting outdoors, writing as if his time were to end at any moment. He wrote letters of forgiveness, poems of grief, and free thoughts of the guilt he was feeling. He didn’t mention her, but they were all about and for her. For his Y/N who was now a world away and who he will not call his ever again.

It must’ve been late when his phone started to ring; the streetlights were starting to lit up the pavement as the sun started to set, leaving soft shades of pink and purple to cover up the sky. He didn’t know the number, so he let it ring thinking it might be just one company trying to sell him something he didn’t need.

But the unknown caller was relentless; calling and calling until Luke decided to answer after the fourth time.

“Hello?” He said, annoyed by the interruption. He didn’t want to talk to anyone; not like he had anyone to talk to, after all.

“You fucker” The voice at the other end said. Luke froze when he recognized it.

“A-Ashton?”

“Were you expecting the fucking queen?” He sounded angry and even through the phone he left Luke completely intimidated as he sunk into his seat.

“How - Whose number is this?” Luke asked, knowing he had all their numbers saved in his phone.

“Would you have answered if you saw my name on the screen?” He wouldn’t, they both know it. But at the same time…

“Why are you calling me?” He finally muttered, his head wrapped around the only reason Ashton, out of all people, would be calling him. He knew it was not to catch up “Is Y/N okay?! Did something happen to her?!”

Something must be terribly wrong if Ashton was calling him. That man was very protective over his best friend and Luke was sure he would’ve killed him if he found him the day where he yelled at her, knowing that Y/N must’ve told him everything. He knew Y/N was not going to forgive him and neither will the boys for that matter. That day he lost more than just his girl.

Ashton laughed without any kind of humor “No, she’s not. Of course, she’s not! You happened to her, mate. I don’t know what the fuck you did but she hasn’t been the same since you left.”

Luke’s eyes widened “She didn’t tell you?”

If he thought about it, it really wasn’t that surprising. Y/N never talked about her problems with him, but the boys always knew everything, them being the only people she knew she could trust with her whole heart. Luke had always been jealous of that, but once he found out the truth of why she kept some things for herself he understood why she could only trust her bandmates with it. He immediately thought that she would tell them everything, every word he said and the hateful words he wrote, but she didn’t and that could not mean anything good.

“She told us enough. That you believed the lies of her and Madden and didn’t let her explain before you lashed out and she asked you to leave. Not a single detail about it, only that you were gone and were not coming back. I guess she didn’t want us to kick your ass, but Luke, you better be certain that-”

“I know!” Luke said with a sigh “I deserve it”

“Dude, what the fuck did you do to her?”

How could he tell him? How could he mutter the courage to tell one of his best friends how he absolutely fucked up? Ashton would hate him, with every reason in the world he should hate him. Luke just hoped that he didn’t.

He, Calum, and Michael were the only friends he knew since he met Y/N. They took him in, welcomed him into the group with gritted teeth with the only condition to never hurt their friend. And after a year of being friends, he broke not only Y/N’s trust but theirs as well. And the fact that Y/N didn’t tell them what he’d done seemed cruel because now he had to. Breaking more hearts than their own.

“I fucked up, Ash” Luke muttered, rubbing his eyes with his fingertips as he crouched forward on the bench and placing his elbows on the top of his thighs, getting ready to face the consequences of his actions “I fucked up badly. I was just- You saw those articles, you saw those tweets and those photos. She never talked about him so I thought… What was I supposed to think? She had a reputation, and with the way, she acted the night before it all made sense to me. So I snapped”

“Luke, I swear to GOD if you touched her-”

“NO! God no, I would never!” Luke quickly stated, horrified at the thought of ever hitting her. He was not like that. He would never be like that “But the things I said to her… fuck, Ash. I threw everything in her face, called her a whore and a cheater without giving her a chance to explain herself. I was so fucking angry and she didn’t say a word. She took all of it in silence and I kept going, even when she begged me to stop I kept going... I didn’t know. You must know that I didn’t know what happened to her or her past with Madden. If I knew then I would’ve never-”

“But you did”

Ashton's words were simple, but they cut deeper than a knife through Luke’s heart. He never heard him sound so disappointed and angry. It reminded him of her and the last words she said to him.

“Luke, this girl has been through so much and you still went and dragged her through the mud just to hurt her”

“I didn’t want to-”

“Don’t fucking interrupt me” Ashton barked into the phone “You did. She gave you everything she could give and you threw it on her face like it was nothing without a chance to explain herself. And it’s not like she could run off, turn off her comments and go back to a normal life! I have never seen Y/N so broken since-” He stopped “What did she tell you?”

Luke knew he was referring to Madden. He remembers her face covered in tears, lips trembling and body shaking as she told him what happened in that relationship. He finally saw the hurt and scars that covered her soul.

“She told me what she could”

Ashton sighed “Then you must know that she would never go back to him,” He said, Luke could tell by his voice that he was hurting, too “He met her at a concert in our second world tour as a solo act. He is the son of a very famous producer and they hit it off right away. We didn’t know exactly when things turned for the worse, but we knew something was happening. She would cover herself more, never hanging out with us unless he was present, she wouldn’t eat in front of him or talk to any of us directly unless it was something about work and that still pissed him off. We all heard the rumors of him cheating on her, but she always dismissed them saying that he loved her and he would never do that. I still wonder what other things we didn’t know that she’s still processing.

It wasn’t until the night he almost killed her that we understood the severity of it. She came by my house while I and the others were hanging out. She was bleeding all over herself, her face was covered in blood just as her shirt and pants. It was terrifying; I don’t remember ever driving that far to the hospital, paying the nurses to keep quiet because she kept asking to keep it a secret. That bastard broke her nose and one of her ribs. She had bruises on her arms, stomach, eye, inner thighs, and legs and a cut over her eyebrow. She lost a lot of blood on her way to my house so Calum had to donate some of his because she needed a transfusion. She stayed in the hospital overnight; the next morning we filed a restraining order against Madden and she moved in with me that same day, promising herself and to us that she would never let someone do that again to her. We promise we would never let anything happen to her from that moment on”

Luke was shedding silent tears at Ashton’s story, all the things he imagined happened to her didn’t compare to the reality she suffered. And he only made it worse.

“She was never the same after that” Ashton continued “Until you came into the picture”

Ashton could hear Luke crying over the phone, his sniffs had given him away. But he knew he needed to hear this; he needed to know.

“We didn’t want you to get close to her, afraid you might hurt her the same way Madden did, but she insisted that you were different, that you were a good guy. And against our better judgment, we believed her. We never expected that little by little, we would get our Y/N/N back. She was smiling again, laughing and singing songs about the love we never thought she’d be able to sing again. It was so obvious that she loved you that we couldn't do anything about it but be happy for her, you brought her back to us.

I guess Madden saw that and didn’t like it, that’s why he came to see her that night. We don’t know much about what happened there or what he said to her, but she was shaking when she came back. All she said was that he cornered her, threatened her and called the paparazzi that worked for his father to take pictures of them, and since we were not in America, there was nothing the restraining order to do to help her”

“He did what?!” Luke shouted at the phone, fuming over the fact that that fucker decided to get close to her when she was vulnerable. He promised that if he ever saw him he’d kill him.

“Now you care about what happened?” Ashton asked in return, frustration lacing his voice at Luke’s sudden feeling of protection “Luke, she called you over ten times that day as she was breaking down in the green room. She asked us all if we could get ahold of you because the driver came back without you. She was so fucking scared and you weren’t there when she needed you by her side. So don’t you fucking dare get offended right now. It already happened and you weren’t there”

Ashton was right. Luke had no right to be furious at the moment, given that he was the one who abandoned her deliberately when he saw the pictures of her and her abuser. He had the excuse of ignorance, but that wasn’t enough. It never has, not it ever will be, because his girlfriend needed him at the time and he left her alone.

He cried into the phone, not caring if Ashton could listen or not. He was so fucking angry at himself, at Madden, at the world… He was supposed to protect her, he said he would and then he gave the final punch. He failed her because of his insecurities.

“I’m sorry” He cried, but Ashton was having none of that.

“I’m not the one you should be apologizing for”

“She doesn’t want to-”

“Listen to me you shit” Ashton hissed into the phone “I don’t care what you think she wants. She is destroying herself over the fact that the last person she thought would hurt her left her because he chose to believe the lies of the media over his own girlfriend”

Luke’s heart broke all over again “She’s what?”

“Oh my god, how dense are you, dude? Now you decide to ignore the gossip?! She’s been going out all night, drinking herself to death and refusing help from any of us. She is slowly killing herself by killing her soul” He sounded worried, scared even, as he muttered the last words “We are losing her”

“Wh-what can I do?” Luke asked helplessly. Not being able to bear the thought of Y/N being gone.

“We booked you a flight. Figure it out and don’t make us regret it”

“Forgetting the lyrics again? Y/N L/N surely knows how to displease an audience”

“Y/N L/N MISSES YET ANOTHER INTERVIEW AFTER PAPARAZZI CAUGHT HER AT A PARTY THE NIGHT BEFORE”

“What is going on with YN?”

He arrived late to the hotel, having his flight delayed for a few hours, and the boys were already waiting for him in the lobby. Luke took a deep breath as he spotted them from afar, they were talking among them, concerned looks covering their expressions as they looked through their phone.

Luke walked up to them, mustering enough courage to say “Hi,”

The three men turned towards the blonde, Calum quickly walking up to him and punching him in the face, caught Luke by surprise as he backed up holding his nose and looking at Calum with widened, surprised eyes.

“That’s for hurting my best friend, you asshole!” He said, making the other guests look in their direction.

Luke hissed as he made sure he wasn’t bleeding “Thank you. I deserved that” He said, blinking twice “But to be honest I was expecting Ashton to deliver the blow”

“Calum won at rock, paper, scissors” Ashton shrugged “But that doesn’t mean you’re off the hook. We still need to have a serious talk and I might punch you there”

Luke nodded, understanding that he did not only fail Y/N, but he also failed them. He promised them that he would take care of their best friend and they believed him. They even helped them get together and served as trust advisers for Luke about what it means to date a celebrity and yet he ignored every single one of them.

He might never get their trust back, but now they needed to focus on other things more important than that.

“Where is she?” He asked.

“Out,” Michael answered “The girls went with her. We don’t want her to be alone when she’s drunk”

They started walking towards the door, getting into the car that would take them to Y/N and the rest of the girls. “Do you know what you will say to her when you see her?” Calum asked.

“No,” Luke answered honestly “I guess I’ll know then”

“And you better not fuck it up again, Hemmings, or I swear it’s going to be the last thing you do”

The dance floor was crowded. People were dancing one against the other as the beats of the songs reverberated all over their bodies and started the flame of having just one night of fun. Among them it was Y/N, dancing in the corner with her friends and ignoring their concerned eyes as she moved freely thanks to the alcohol that was cursing through her veins. She knew she had to wake up soon, but she just wanted to keep living this dream every night instead of facing the nightmares that would come in the morning.

She missed how easy everything was before that night when the nightmare started. When she couldn’t find Luke in the crowd of their concert nor their bedroom late at night. Now she doesn’t even want to go to sleep, knowing that she won’t find him there ever again, all because she asked him to leave.

But he wanted to leave, even before she asked him he was already getting his stuff to leave her “cheating ass”, writing words that describe their relationship as toxic. Is that what it was? Were they toxic or just scared? She couldn’t tell the difference anymore, not after spending night after night trying to erase those words out of her mind, but they were already scared forever in her skin. She promised herself she would carry them as a battle wound, as proof that no matter what you do, you could never win when the whole world seems against you even when you have done nothing wrong… Unlike now.

She knew what she was doing, she knew she was disappointing a lot of people. She was disappointed in herself, too, but she couldn’t stop. The world was finally telling truths about her and it felt nice to at least have that. They denied her the truths for so long, feeding everyone lies that they would believe without hesitation or her explanation, just like Luke did, and now she was finally acting like people supposed she had. Now, at least she had control over that.

She wondered if Luke ever thinks about her. If he’s forgiven her for whatever he thinks she’s done or if he continues to read the articles and rejoice in the fact that he was right, even when he wasn’t, he was right. Maybe he’d be proud?

“Darling, are you alright?” She heard Bethany shout over the music. All the girls were looking at her. She didn’t realize she stopped dancing.

However, she just nodded “I’m going to get more drinks!” She said, faking a smile even though the girls could tell that she was crying. But she was so far out she couldn’t even feel the tears that rolled down her cheek.

Y/N gripped the marble countertop of the bar, trying to hold herself steady. She was thinking again, she didn’t want to think anymore. She ordered two shots of tequila and drowned them down before asking for two more. But before she could drown the fourth one, someone snatches the drink out of her hand.

“Heeey” She slurred “Don’t get between me and my- oh, hello!” She smiled happily at the stranger who took her drink from her “You look a lot like my ex-boyfriend”

Luke’s eyes widened at the word. She has never called him her boyfriend in front of people before. He glanced behind her and saw Michael, Ashton, and Calum already standing next to their girls, nodding encouragingly at him.

“Ex-boyfriend?” He asked, eyes meeting hers and noticing the glimmer of tears in them. But she kept on smiling and nodding before she started to pout.

“But shhhhh,” She said, laying her head on the counter, almost like she wanted to take a nap “It’s a secret. No one knows we’re together… or were together. They will never leave him alone if they find out”

“Who?”

Y/N looked to the sides, almost as if making sure no one was listening before she leaned into him and whispered “The media,” Then she started to giggle “If they found out I have a boyfriend then they will want to know everything about him! And poor Luke wouldn’t be able to handle that, he shouldn’t go through that”

Luke’s heart broke at the sight of the drunk girl sighing in the bar, holding her empty shot glass and sniffing every other word to stop the tears from falling.

“He doesn’t deserve that, the hate. He’s a good guy, a little shy and awkward, but he’s nice. But the media is cruel and a liar, and I don’t want him to feel baaaaad. How stupid it is that because I love someone they should get hated on, right? Hahaha, I just wanted to protect hiiiim, cause I love him sooo so much. I even protected him from my friends! You know?! I never told them what he did to me in case they wanted to keep their friendship going, Luke is a very shy guy and he loved them very muchhh, I couldn't take that from him"

“Even if he hurt you?” Luke’s words were careful and filled with pain. When the boys told him that she was getting drunk each night he never imagined her this far gone. He never imagined her this sad.

Y/N shook his head “I deserved to get, hic, hurt” She said between hiccups “He said I was a cheating whore monster liar, b-b-but I don’t blame himmmm. I’m sad but at least he doesn’t have to deal with me anymore and this BULLSHIT” She yelled, throwing her hands up to the sky. But then she started crying, sobbing as she tumbled backward before Luke caught her.

Luke was trying to contain his own tears as she sobbed into his embrace “I just want to tell him that I’m sorry I couldn’t protect him from myself” She cried “I wanted to be happy with him but we are both sad and toxic for each other. That’s what he said in his poem. I-I-I just w-want him to be ha-happy”

Luke cried as he held her, burying his face into her hair as both of their bodies trembled. Even when she had every right to hate him, she still wants to protect him. Something he should’ve done.

“I’m so sorry, my love” He cried, making Y/N look at him with worried, tearful eyes.

“Oh, don’t cry, stranger,” She said as she cupped his face and wiped his tears “I’m sad but you should be happy!”

“Why?”

“C-cause you’re not me”

Luke stared into her eyes, she was smiling while the tears kept falling. Even at her lowest, she tried to be strong for everyone around her, even the stranger she thought he was. He pressed his lips on a thin line and nodded, hugging her tighter as if he was trying to hold on to the last piece of her that didn’t show coldness to him before she remembers everything in the morning. At least he would hold her one more time.

Y/N didn’t understand much of what was happening but she returned the hug with the same energy, letting the stranger cry into her shoulder as she rubbed his back with her fingertips, wondering what Luke was doing right now. She decided that she didn’t want to know.

“I want to sleep,” She said after a minute of holding the man.

Luke pulled away from her, wiping his tears as he nodded “Then let’s get you to bed, my love”

She shook his head, pulling on his hand as he tried to walk them out of the club “But Luke won’t be there when I wake up”

All the wind was knocked out of his lungs, did she want him there? “I’ll be there,” He said.

“What?”

“He’ll be there. I promise”

Luke gave one last look at the group. They were all staring at him with worried and hopeful eyes, actually surprised that this didn’t end badly just yet. Luke nodded at them and pulled Y/N with him, the rest of the guys followed him into the car as they made their way back to the hotel.

Y/N slept all the way back, her head was placed in Luke’s shoulder as the blond kept staring at her, silent tears still dying on his cheek. The guilt was eating him alive; it was painful to see her this way, but at the same time he knew that she was at peace as she slept, letting the world fade for at least a few minutes before reality came crashing down.

When they reached the hotel, Luke carried her back into her room. He sat her down on the bed and started to take off her shoes as she lazily rubbed the tiredness from her eyes, suddenly waking up for a moment.

“Luke?” She asked. Luke raised his head and was met with her eyes already locked with his, a glaze of new tears adorned her pupils as she whispered “Am I dreaming right now?”

“No,” He answered, voice as soft as hers as he got up and placed a kiss on the top of her head “No, you’re not, darling”

“Good. I always hate to wake up without you there” She said, looking over her shoulder to the empty side where Luke used to sleep.

They both stayed quiet for the rest of the night. Luke took off her silk shirt and leather pants and helped her put on one of the big shirts she’s used to sleeping in. He wiped the makeup off her face and followed her nighttime routine without missing a step. When she was done, she curled up to her side and quickly fell into a deep slumber.

Luke stared at the girl, his heart aching for her as he saw how fragile she looked while she slept. He thought about all the things she said that night, how he never considered her side of the story before. How he just assumed that she was hiding him because she didn’t want people to find out she was taken when in reality she didn’t want people to hurt him the way they hurt her. The way he hurt her.

Tears started to pick up in his eyes again. He hated to cry but there was nothing else he could do at the moment. Everything became too much too fast and he didn’t know if he could fix it. So all he could do was cry for the girl he loves and the girl he lost, not knowing if she would ever come back to him.

“I’m sorry” He whispered in a quiet sob, getting into bed with her and holding her close “I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m sorry, my love” He kept murmuring into her hair until sleep claimed him as well.

The next morning Y/N wakes up in her hotel bed but she doesn’t know how she got there. She looks to her side but the bed is empty, yet she finds an aspirin and a bottle of water in her nightstand. She wonders who was the poor soul that had to go with her last night to make sure she doesn't end up drunk in a ditch, at least they succeeded.

Then she hears water running up in the bathroom and her heart sinks. Did she bring someone here last night? No, she wouldn’t do that. But she was very drunk… Oh my god, what did she do?

Luke could hear her shuffling in the bed as he brushed his teeth. “It is now or never,” He thought, but he didn’t know what he would find behind the door. She didn’t know him yesterday, but today was another story and Luke’s heart shrank at the thought of Y/N hating him for coming back, even if it was to apologize to her. He was terrified, but he was tired of running away.

As soon as he opened the door he was met with Y/N’s surprised gaze. The girl was quick to cover herself up, cheeks tinted red at the sight of her ex-boyfriend in her hotel room. She didn’t miss the flash of hurt that ran through his face when she did that.

“Luke…” She said in one breath, suddenly feeling self-conscious by his presence “What are you- Did we-?”

“No,” He answered quickly, stepping closer to the bed “No, we didn’t. You were drunk and I- You know I would never do that to you”

“I thought we didn’t know each other…”

Her words lingered in the air between them, creating a tension that could be cut with a knife. How fast did they become strangers when they used to know every single cardinal point of their bodies, every breath they took and what they meant, every sigh, every look… Now they were just two people in a room with so much to say but with no words coming out of either of their mouths.

Luke noticed how her eyes changed. While they were no longer filled with tears, they now laid emotionless in front of him, dull and empty as she stared at him.

“I did this to her,” He thought “I took the light of her eyes. It’s my fault”

She cleared her throat, breaking the silence as she spoke “Well, thank you for bringing me here last night. You can go now” She said, tearing her eyes away from him as she sat on her edge of the bed.

Luke stood still “No,”

“I’m asking you to leave” Y/N clarified, her voice growing stronger but still a bit sore.

“And I’m telling you I’m not going” He responded, taking tentative steps towards her “Something I should’ve done all those weeks ago”

He was standing in front of her in a matter of seconds; he crouched to meet her eyes but she quickly turned her face away “Y/N, please” He begged, his hand coming to rest on her cheek as his knuckles caressed her skin while the other one was placed on top of her hands, both intertwined with each other on top of her thighs “You could look at me yesterday, please don’t deny me at least that. Let me see you, my love”

But Y/N didn’t move, her face stayed turned to the side with her hair covering most of it. She couldn’t look at him, she just couldn’t. It was too hard, too painful. Luke sighed.

“Okay, it’s okay. You don’t have to, but at least listen to me, yeah? I just- I need you to listen, Y/N, please” He pleaded, placing both hands on top of hers “Y/N, I love you”

The knot in his throat became tighter as he noticed how the veins of her neck tensed and she started to grip her hands tighter. But she needed to hear this, and even though it hurt to see her like that, he continued.

“I love you. I love you. I love you” He said, voice breaking at the end, impossible to fight that choking feeling in his throat “I loved you since the moment I saw you. You were all dressed up in Calum‘s clothes and you had a pen in your hair, and I thought you were the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen, but you were so nervous about trying to clean the coffee you spilled that you didn’t even notice I fell for you without knowing your name” He let out a tearful chuckle “I started to fall that day and I haven’t stopped, not even for a second. Y/N you are- You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I was an idiot for not seeing that. I don’t know what I have to do for you to forgive me, but I’ll do anything, my love. Anything to make it better. Cause I followed you blindly from the start, and I’m so sorry I let you down. I’m so, so fucking sorry that I let my insecurities come in our way. I love you, even then I never stopped loving you”

He could see how her chin started to tremble, she was trying to hold off the tears as much as him “I - I wish I could go back in time. I would’ve never said the things I said, I would’ve never doubted you or left without listening to what you had to say. I should’ve fought harder for you, but I was a coward. I still am, if I’m being honest, but I will not run away, Y/N. Not anymore. I know I will never deserve you, but I’ll do my best and try. Because you, my love, are the love of my life, the greatest love I have and - and I can’t -“

It became too much for him. He couldn’t say anything else without breaking down. But he wanted her to know how much she meant for him, how much he is willing to fight for her if she lets him. She needed to know how sorry he was and how much he still loves her. But the words got stuck in his throat. The poet was left speechless.

“Y/N you are so strong,” He finally said “So strong, my love. And I’m so fucking proud of everything you do, I always have and always will be” He brought her hands to his lips and started pressing kisses all over it while wetting them with his tears “I wish I could take back everything I said. All those words were said out of anger and jealousy, that is not how I see you at all. You are so beautiful, Y/N, inside and out. So kind, so smart, so giving… You are perfect. And I love you, I love you, I love yo-”

Suddenly his words were interrupted by her lips as she started kissing him. Y/N didn’t want to keep listening anymore so she did the only thing he could, the thing she wanted to do the most since she saw him come out of the bathroom.

Their hands flew to cup each other’s cheeks, keeping their faces as close as they could, feeling how their tears became one as they started to deepen the kiss. They rocked back and forward with the intensity of their energies colliding once again, it was everything they needed and more. Suddenly, Luke got up from the floor and brought Y/N along with her, pressing her against the wall as their lips never left each other.

“I love you” He breathed into her lips before kissing her again and again and again, already getting lost in the feeling of euphoria she brought to him “I love you”

She kept crying as their lips met, savoring every word, every praise that came from his mouth, trying hard to hold on to them as she felt her breath become short “I missed you” She cried into the kiss, pulling away to see his face.

Luke’s eyes were blown wide as he stared at her, their lips were pink as they tried to catch their breaths. He knocked his forehead against hers before kissing it lightly “Please, forgive me” He begged, holding her tight against his chest.

“Luke,” She whispered as she tugged on his shirt, making him look back at her “Kiss me”

He looked at her softly, his baby blue eyes saying more than he ever could as he caressed her cheek one more time before leaning down and trapping her lips with his. He had no rush because there was no other place he’d rather be, no other person he’d rather spend time with. Only her. Only his Y/N.

Her hands traveled tentatively under his shirt, softly caressing the skin of his back and his stomach as she parted her lips to grant him more access and control. Luke’s hand that was not cupping her cheek rounded around her waist, bringing her body closer to him with the need of feeling her, all of her.

“Y/N…” He groaned, tilting his head back when he felt her kiss along his jaw and neck.

“Please…” She murmured against his skin, sucking and kissing on the spot that she knew would make him shiver.

Luke pressed her against the wall with his body completely covering hers. He grabbed the back of her thighs and lifted her feet from the ground as she locked her legs around his waist. “Please,” She begged again, closing her lips around the shell of his ear and slightly biting into it. She could feel him getting hard as her hips moved forward, her core pressing against his hardening cock. She moaned softly into his ear “Please, Luke. Please”

The movement of her hips was all Luke needed to lose himself to her, thrusting right back at her and moaning at the friction of her soaked panties against his clothed erection. Her sound became more breathy and he knew she was getting close just by the friction alone, having spent too much time without this feeling.

“Y/N…” Luke groaned into her after a particularly hard trust “I-”

“I know” She breathed “I need it too,”

Without a second thought, Luke turned both of them around, still holding Y/N by the back of her thighs as he placed them back into the bed. Now it was his turn to kiss along her face, her lips, her neck… everywhere she would give him access to and would leave her breathing his name. His hands fidgeted with the hem of her shirt, taking it off completely in one swift move and occupying his hands by touching her breasts, massaging them softly as his lips closed against one of her nipples, tongue circling around the hard pebble until they were nice, erect and wet from his kiss only to do it again with the other one.

Y/N was a whimpering mess under him, her fingers tangling in his hair as he sucked on her sweet spot, kissing down her body until his lips found her wet panties. He kissed over her clothes bundle of nerves, making her moan and begged for more as he swiftly hooked his long fingers at either side of her hips and pulled them down, kissing along her thighs up and down and up again only to finish tongue deep into her hole, lapping at her arousal and moaning against her at the taste of her. He always found her exquisite.

Stars were playing behind her eyelids as she felt one finger inside her while Luke’s lips closed against her clit, sucking it lightly as he inserted another finger per her request, thrusting then inside and out as she chanted his name like a prayer when her walls clenched against them.

Luke licked her clean as her fingers played with his hair, relishing this intimate moment as a precious memory for the future. When he pushed himself up he noticed that there were a new set of tears rolling down her cheeks “Are you okay, love?” He asked, “Did I hurt you?”

She shook his head, looking up at him with teary eyes “I love you”

His eyes soften at her words, hands caressing the side of her face as he leaned in without thinking, kissing her tears away with such care, never wanting to see them again.

“Luke…” She whispered, kissing his chin “Luke, make love to me”

Blue eyes met Y/E/C, sharing all the love he had in them before leaning down again to trap her lips with his; tongues dancing together like it was the first time all over again where no other words were needed.

Y/N helped him out of his shirt and shorts, pumping his cock in her hands as he moaned in her ear how good it felt before lining it up with her entrance, quiet gasps leaving each other’s mouths as they felt the familiar stretch when he bottomed out.

Soft words and kisses were shared as Luke’s thrusts were slow and steady. It was silent, needy, passionate; it was everything they needed and more. Their hands explored the familiarity of their bodies, leaving faint marks as they enjoyed their shared pleasure.

“Please,” She begged against his lips, moaning as Luke started hitting her spot “Please, please, please, plea-”

Her orgasm came over her like a wave and Luke was entranced with her face as it contorted in extasis, helping him reach his climax as he cum inside her, painting her walls as his thrusts became sloppy.

They stayed like that for a while, kissing on top of each other as their bodies stayed connected in the most intimate way. But soon Luke had to get up, getting a wet cloth from the bathroom and cleaning her up, whispering sweet nothings to her as he did so.

He climbed into the bed next to her, pulling her closer against his chest as his back rested against the headboard, drawing circles in the soft spot of her back and resting his chin on the top of her head.

They must’ve fallen asleep after a while because when he opened his eyes again he felt Y/N crying into his chest.

“My love?” He asked, worry lacing his voice as he accommodated himself better so he could see her face. Y/N eyes were puffy and filled with tears as she struggled to contain a sob “What’s wrong?”

Y/N sniffed, voice breaking as she asked “You love me?”

Luke furrowed his eyebrows in confusion “What a stupid question,” He said as he started playing with your hair “Of course I love you”

“But what else?”

Her question confused him, even more, when he saw pure heartbreak spread along her face.

“What else what?”

“You love me and what else?” She repeated her question.

“What else is there?”

Luke’s answer made her lips tremble as a new set of tears filled her eyes. His heart fell to his stomach with her reaction, not knowing what he did to make her this upset “Baby, what’s wrong? Is love not enough?”

Y/N shook her head as she took a deep breath, trying to find enough voice and courage to say what she needed.

“I’m not perfect, Luke”

“I know,” He said, bringing his fingers to caress your cheek but you shook your head.

“No, you don’t know” She stated, tears rolling down her cheek “You still see me as something out of your reach, as something you don’t deserve because you hold me to such standards that is impossible for me to live up to your expectations. I will let you down, even without wanting to, I will. And- a-and I don’t think I’ll be able to stand that look in your eyes once I do. I can’t go through that again”

She cried softly for a while, trying to find the right words to say.

“Luke, I need you to listen to me very carefully and really think about what I’m asking for here, okay, love?” She said after collecting herself just enough. He nodded as he gave her his undivided attention “Luke, I love you. More than anyone in the world, I love you. I thought I would never say those words again but I can’t deny my feelings for you nor do I want to. I love you. But I also love my life”

Luke’s eyes were fixed on her as she spoke, nodding along to what she was saying. She took another deep breath before continuing.

“A life that is filled with concerts, traveling and recordings and parties and interviews… A life that I chose to follow my dreams and make them come true. A life I am not going to give up because it’s mine and I truly love it. But in this life, there are some bumps in the road. There will always be people trying to bring me down, sending hate to me and the ones I love, spreading rumors all around where sometimes you won’t be able to distinguish fiction from reality. With people trying to get to me, by flirting or abusing their power with threats. But I keep going, I deal with all of that because that’s just the way it is. I will go to an interview that might get twisted, I might go and get flirted on by a random stranger that works for publicity. I might have rumors of me dating people I haven’t even met! All of that without my consent or knowledge. But I agreed to this when I agreed to follow my dreams and I can’t help it when it happens and most of the time I can’t say anything about it even if it hurts.

And when that happens I need to know that you will trust me. Because I cannot possibly ask you to leave your dreams to follow mine, meaning that we won’t be together all the time like we’re used to. And I need to know that you will trust me when I’m away from you”

Luke stayed quiet, his mind running a thousand miles per hour at her words. Could he trust her? When they were together on tour, and even at home in L.A, the rumors about Y/N were strong, so much so that he didn’t know if they were true or not. And even though he knew her, he still wasn’t sure. He doubted her, more times than not he did which ended up in him losing her until last night. He trusted her now, but…

“I don’t know,” He answered honestly, feeling like the weight of his shoulders was being lifted as he spoke “I don’t trust my mind, not when it’s about you. Not really. I trust you here, right now but I can’t promise that my insecurities won’t get in the way, changing that for the future. But I can try, I’ll do my best-”

“What if your best is not enough, Luke?” She asked, sucking the air out of both of them.

“What?” He asked in return, voice small and soft.

She sighed, blinking through the tears “What if- What if it’s not enough? You love me, but you don’t trust me. I love you, but I’m scared you’re going to run away every time you hear something about me that could tint the image of me you have in your mind. I’m scared of that Y/N because I’m not her and I might never be able to compete with her. I wish I could tell you that everything will change for the better, that love will be enough. But if we can’t see a future now…”

“There might not be a future at all” Luke finished for her.

The truth hurt more than they could ever have imagined, but it was still the truth. Without trust, there is no love that could endure the passings of times, but they could try, couldn’t they?

“What now?” He asked after a moment of silence.

“Hold me?”

Luke opened his arms and Y/N nested into them, setting her head upon his chest and letting his heartbeat be the melody of her heartbreak. “I love you” She whispered into his skin.

“I love you, too”

“I might never stop loving you”

“You don’t have to”

She sighed “I know, that’s what scares me”

Luke nodded, even though she couldn't see him. He let his fingertips trace up and down her arms and back, serving as the only comfort he could give right now.

“Stay with me tonight?” She asked, tilting her head so she could look him in the eyes “Just one night the two of us where we can leave the world behind. Just us and for tonight that’s enough”

He smiled sadly “Morning will come eventually”

“And what will happen to us in the morning?”

Luke let out a sad sigh “I don’t know”

Tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @mystic-232 @talksoprettyjjx @theshyspy @hoodhoran @flaneurcth @notinthesameguey @bubblegum18 @irwin-fletcher-ash @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @1980holland @wiiildflowerrr @myloverboyash @nicebasscalum @calumspupils @secretsicanthideanymore @the-ghost-of-ash @alltimesos @kingxnichole @givebuckyhisplumsnow @hufflehemm @wildflower98 @girl-toxxic

191 notes · View notes

duxhess-kryzewan · 4 years ago

Note

Obitine First Kiss?

- Drowning -

When they had first landed on Corellia, Obi-Wan was relieved to be somewhere that had plenty of fresh water. The last planet they had been hiding on was dry and dusty and even Satine - born and raised on a desert planet herself - had became sick of the terrain.

The novelty quickly wore off the longer they trekked through the jungle. The forestry was dense, the humidity unforgiving. Every breath he took came with the unsettling sensation of drowning on dry land.

Qui-Gon had left them the night before last, leaving Obi-Wan with coordinates on where to meet the following day. He had a contact - a long time ally - who resided on miles away from the forest they were hiding in. If all went according to plan, they would have a new and unrecognizable ship and a safe means off the planet. All he was tasked with was keeping Satine safe in the mean time.

He didn't like to read too much into why Qui-Gon was so keen on leaving them alone together.

"The sky looks like it'll be clear tonight." Satine comments as they move into a clearing.

"It' seems so," He says, "Let's just hope it stays that way."

Storms were frequent and often unpredictable. One minute the sun would be shining, only for the clouds to roll in mercilessly pelt the planet with rain.

"From desert to storm," She huffs, "I can't tell which is worse."

He observes her intently as she walks; how her damp hair clung to her neck, how she would periodically run the back of her hand across her brow line. He sympathized with her discomfort. The air felt sticky, the breeze heavy as it blew past them. Satine had long since abandoned her attempts at maintaining her regality. There was no point anymore. She had been with them long enough to know they wouldn't judge her in the slightest for slipping out of her Duchess façade, and the climate made it nearly impossible to look the part.

Not that it mattered much. Obi-Wan didn't think there was anything that could make her any less beautiful.

He tried to push the thought to the back of his mind. An irrevocable attachment to her was the last thing he needed.

"Can we stop for the evening?" She asks.

He marvels at the gentleness in her voice. Before, in the beginning weeks she had been placed under their protection, she had huffed and whined until he relented and gave into her requests. The near death experiences and friendship they managed to forge over the passing weeks had humbled her some, and gave him enough insight to realize she was more than just an entitled Duchess. He was grateful they had found a way to be more civil to one another.

“As you wish."

They were nearing one of the many lakes that covered the planet anyway; a more than ideal place to set up camp for the night. Fresh water was something neither of them took for granted after their stay in the desert.

When they stop Satine wastes no dropping to the ground and leaning back against one of the trees that surrounded them. Foliage was another thing they both had become more appreciative of recently. The cover of trees, the simple ability to rest against something other than the hot sand, even the always lingering dampness of the soil.

He busies himself looking around around for wood dry enough to start a fire. It was by no means necessary for warmth, but it would be there luck that the temperature would drop with the arrival of night time, and it wouldn't hurt to have a source of light. The stars might have been bright on Corellia, but he would be hard pressed to consider it enough illumination for them.

His mind had been so preoccupied on setting up camp that he hadn't even noticed Satine's absence until a splash broke through the silence.

"Satine?"

He turns just in time to see her disappear below the surface of the water, and for a fleeting moment panic floods through him. What if she can't swim? What if something was in the water? And why is she in the water in the first place?

The relief he feels when she reappears is almost insurmountable.

"What are you doing?" He half yells, trying his best not to let the worry in his voice show.

She grants him an amused smirk, and something about the sparkle in her eyes sends a warmth trough his chest, despite how hard he tries not to let it do so.

"Cooling off, Obi-Wan." She says matter-of-factly, "You may not mind being covered in sweat and grime after trekking through the jungle all day, but I refuse to stew in filth."

He has to repress the urge to laugh. Roughing it may have humbled the young Duchess, but there was always going to be a part of her that was prim and proper.

"I'm a bit more preoccupied with your safety than worrying about my personal hygiene."

He glances to the pile of discarded clothes at the waters edge and is grateful for cover twilight provided him. If Satine could see the blush that colored his cheeks at the thought of her undress she would never let him live it down.

Satine scoffs and swims closer to shore, "As if you have to choose one or the other. Honestly, Obi-Wan."

She was right, of course. He hated the stickiness from the humidity and sweat that clung to his skin, but it hadn't been at the top of his priority list.

"Priorities, Duchess."

She laughs lightly and disappears under the water again.

The fire he was attempting to start was a lost cause, he decided. There was too much moisture for a flame to start. As much as he didn't like it, they were going to have to fair out without one for now.

So he settles for laying out his cloak in the driest area he could find and depositing their items on top of it. Qui-Gon didn't leave them with much, but the few items they did have were more than essential to their survival the next few days.

Obi-Wan decides that, so long as she is content in the water, he'll sit along the lakes edge and meditate. It had been too long since he had a chance to do so, and this was he could keep an eye on her.

He settles at the waters edge, lightsaber and top layer of his clothing discarded beside him. The muggy air proved to be a challenge when taking a deep breath, but the sounds of the water and quiet of the night soothed him.

That was, until an unexpected splash of cold water hit him.

He sprang to his feet, the sudden chill catching him off guard. Below him, he found Satine smiling mischievously, still partially submerged in the water.

"Have you lost your mind?" He manages to sputter out.

She laughs, "Don't act like it didn't feel good. You know as well as I do the temperature is less than favorable."

He glares at her, but there's something to her smile that almost makes him forgive her. Rarely over the course of their time together has he seen anything resembling genuine happiness grace her. For all of the things that drive him crazy about her - and there were many, many things - there were just as many that made him adore her in ways a Jedi certainly should not. Seeing her smile was one of them.

“I was meditating."

"You do that quite enough."

"Its an integral part of connecting with the force."

Satine rolls her eyes, "Yes, so you've reminded me many times."

They had managed to cultivate something close to a friendship during their time on the run. Qui-Gon had insisted that he try and get along with her, both for the sake of their mission and for the sake of the Duchess.

He's sure neither Qui-Gin or himself could have anticipated the less sudden feelings that would blossom between him and the Duchess. Feelings that most definitely went against the code.

It scared him that part of him didn't care.

"Swimming in a random lake on an unfamiliar planet doesn't seem very becoming of a Duchess," He counters with a smirk, "Especially one so preoccupied with appearances."

"Neither is being on the run with a Jedi, but I've had to learn to adapt with what's given to me."

Her smiles falters for a moment, and suddenly he's filled with guilt. He could feel her emotional struggle through the force; how much anxiety and guilt she carries for leaving her planet in the midst of a civil war.

"I'm sorry," He says, "I didn't mean to imply anything."

The smile returns. It's softer, more understanding, but there all the same. He likes to see it on her.

"Forgiven," She stands, the shallow end of the water only reaching her waist, "Though I would appreciate your assistance."

She reaches out a hand towards him, all while he tries his best to ignore the way her wet underlayer of clothing clings to her. He hopes the cover of nightfall masks his blush.

"As you wish, your grace."

He takes her hand in his, fingers gripping her smaller ones tighter than what was strictly necessary, and just as he goes to pull her up onto dry land she roughly yanks him towards her.

He topples into the water, barely managing to catch his balance before he was submerged completely.

"Satine!"

She backs up quickly into deeper water, swimming away from him with a newfound sense of urgency. It doesn't stop the laughter though, or the wide smile she wore. It was the first time he's seen her that amused, and if he wasn't so distracted by his sudden frustration he would marvel at just how beautiful happiness looks on her.

"Have you gone mad?"

Satine laughs some more, "Oh please, it's just water Obi-Wan. You're doing little more than bathing and cooling off. Master Qui-Gon wouldn't be too pleased if I was left alone because you suffered heat stroke."

It was pointless to argue that the temperature wasn't near hot enough for heat stroke to actually overtake him and, though he would never admit it, the cold water did make him feel a great deal better.

"I'm not much use as a protector while unarmed and in the water." He decides to counter with, though he knows its a weak point. If the situation suddenly became dangerous he would just as well protect her here as he would on dry land.

Satine doesn't answer him and instead disappears once again below the surface of the water. The sky was clear, but not even the planets stars could provide him enough light to see where she had vanished too.

He had grown accustomed to the many facets of her over their time together. There were versions of her he learned how to handle; from a stubborn Satine to a solemn one. A mischievous Satine however was uncharted territory, and he didn't know whether to fear her or be amused by her.

There's only inches separated them when she ascends out from under the water, and he quickly settles on terrified.

He's utterly terrified, because never has another person looked so beautiful to him as she did in that moment. Lips parted slightly, wide eyes staring back into his.

"Satine..." It's a warning, but he knows deep down his heart isn't really in it.

"Obi-Wan."

She's kissing him then. Gently; a ghost of a touch that he almost isn't convinced is real. Her lips are cold from the water, breath warm against his skin.

Before he can think better of it, his hand finds hers under the water, his other sliding up the slope of her neck and coming to cup her cheek.

"We shouldn't be doing this." He whispers against her.

Satine pauses for a brief moment, "No we shouldn't."

He wonders what it says about them that neither make a move to stop.

It crosses his mind what Qui-Gon would say if he found them like this; pressed together in shoulder deep water, disregarding the promises both of them made to their people and to themselves.

Her hand slide up the back of his head and tangles into his hair, her fingers grasping his Padawan braid tightly between them.

"We should stop." Satine says before kissing him hard with a newfound sense of urgency.

"We should." He agrees, kissing her back with just as much force.

Her legs suddenly wrap around his waist and it renders him breathless. The code was cracking around him with every passing second, and yet, he couldn't bring himself to stop kissing her.

It dawns on him then; that he has fallen irrevocably in love with Satine Kryze.

#obitine #obi wan x satine #obitine fanfic #obitine fanfiction #obitine prompt

132 notes · View notes

lsvdw-blog · 4 years ago

Text

Okay

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x f!MC

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings; Rating: Angst (with a happy ending); General

Premise: The aftermath of MC and Ethan's fight about their date night debacle.

Author’s Note: Thank you to everyone for the lovely feedback on Part I and II! This almost had an alternate ending, (it's still sitting in my WIPS) but I couldn't do them like that 😅 it starts off angsty, but the happy ending is there 😊 I hope you enjoy and thank you for reading 💖

She struggles to unlock her front door, vision blurry from the tears. She hopes to any and every deity that the apartment is empty as she stumbles through the entrance.

“Serena, you’re home! How did it go?”

Sienna is at the dining room table, jumping excitedly in her seat. Her face falls as she takes in her roommate’s running mascara.

"It didn't go."

“What?"

Serena staggers to the couch, falling face first onto the cushions. "He didn't show…"

"Oh sweetie… " Sienna stands and makes her way to the couch. Sitting on the unoccupied end, she strokes her best friend’s hair.

“Then, I went to his apartment and we had this huge fight and he called us a mistake," she says through her sobs as she sits up and puts her head on Sienna’s shoulder.

"Do you want to stuff our faces with takeout and junk food and binge watch Marvel movies?"

Serena just sniffs and nods her head.

Two hours later, the television is playing a soft melody as they share their second pint of Ben & Jerry's.

"Even after everything… Steve is Peggy's Lobster, just like Ethan is yours."

Serena looks to her left with incredulity.

"You know! Lobster! They fall in love and mate for life!"

Serena snorts. "Have you seen the claws on those things? Ever been pinched by one? Shit hurts," she says as she puts another spoonful of ice cream in her mouth.

They sit in silence for a few minutes before Serena’s dejected voice rings out. “Why does he keep doing this to me?”

Sienna scrunches her nose. "Lobsters always were finicky."

~~~ One Week Later ~~~

“Here are the test results you requested, Dr. Ramsey.”

She places the manila folder in front of him and takes a step back, keeping her head down.

Ethan stares at her for a long moment, willing her to look at him. It’s been like this for the past few days: she only speaks to him when absolutely necessary and avoids eye contact at all costs. When she continues to evade his gaze, he sighs, and opens the folder.

His brows furrow. “This isn’t the test we decided to order.”

“Oh. I'll go fix that right now.” She finally meets his eyes and says, “I must have made a mistake.”

His chest tightens: Did she make a mistake with the test... or with me?

~~~~~~

She approaches the office and knocks softly.

“Come in.”

She slowly pushes open the door and sees Naveen look up.

“Ah, Serena! To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing my grand-mentee?”

She gives a small smile as she shuts the door behind her. “I was hoping you would have some time to talk.”

“What did he do?”

She spills the story, only stopping halfway through to take the tissue Naveen hands her. After she finishes, she wipes her eyes, and reaches into her coat pocket, pulling out something folded. “And I was hoping you would approve this.”

Naveen unfolds the paper, skimming over it. “A leave of absence?”

She nods. "I'm not asking for this solely because of what happened. I've been homesick for a while now; it was my first holiday season without my family and I haven't seen them since I moved here… and I don't know, I guess what happened with Eth—” she clears her throat, “Dr. Ramsey, was the last straw. It all feels like it's too much: Edenbrook, Boston.” She shakes her head before continuing. “I just… need a break. Please."

Naveen sits back and takes her in. She’s slightly hunched over, strands of hair falling out of her topknot, the concealer no longer hiding her dark circles, and she’s been wringing her hands since she sat down. The woman in front of him is a shell of the usually confident and exuberant young lady he is used to seeing and his heart breaks for her.

“I will grant you this leave of absence.”

She perks up at his words.

“On one condition.”

She eyes him warily.

“When you feel like you have reset, you must return and talk to him. I am not saying you have to make up with him, or even forgive him. Just talk to him about what happened.”

She is unmoving for a few seconds, then nods soberly. “You’re right, I know.”

“I wouldn’t be much of a grand-mentor if I wasn’t, now would I?” He says with a smile.

~~~~~~

Ethan is walking down the corridor to his office, trying to comprehend the words on the file in his hand, but his mind is elsewhere. The sun has long set, but he refuses to go home. To the place where, everywhere he looks, he's reminded of her. It's not like he'll be able to sleep anyways; he's lost count of how many sleepless nights he's had since their argument, tossing and turning for hours, as her side of the bed remains tucked and cold.

Not only has he been unable to sleep, he's been unable to focus on anything but her: her melodic laugh lilting through the hospital corridors, her sweet perfume lingering in the office, her animated way of chatting with anybody but him.

He opens the office door and a voice in the back of his head reminds him: You miss her, you idiot.

He rubs his bleary eyes and looks at his watch. 8:09pm.

He groans and goes to sit at his desk when a purple sticky note catches his eye. There, scrawled in her loopy half-cursive is a note: Need some space.

He immediately grabs his bag and rushes to the parking garage, hoping he's not too late.

~~~~~~

He knocks urgently, stepping backwards as the door swings open.

"Dr. Trinh, hello. Is Serena here? I really need to speak with her."

Sienna stands there, unblinking.

He awkwardly clears his throat and begins to try and look into and around the apartment.

Sienna follows his movements, trying, and failing, to block his line of sight.

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that Dr. Ramsey."

Before he can speak, she continues: “Even if she hadn’t left yet, she wouldn’t want to speak with you anyways.”

His blue eyes turn a shade stormier at this information. “What do you mean ‘if she hadn’t left—”

“Nothing!” Sienna goes to close the door, but is stopped by Ethan’s hand.

“Dr. Trinh. Sienna… please.”

His eyes are conveying a plethora of unspoken pleas, and after a few beats, she sighs.

“She’s at the airport.”

“What? Where is she going? For how long?”

“She’s going home and she didn’t say.” She shrugs.

Ethan immediately turns on his heel.

"Flight 936!" Sienna yells after him as he sprints back to his car.

He hurriedly weaves between the leisurely drivers and dodges through the lackadaisical travelers in the airport lobby, stopping in front of an information screen. His eyes scan the monitor furiously until he sees it.

Flight 936: Boarding Now.

He bolts to the nearest desk, buying the next available flight, and rushes through security.

He's running like a madman, frantically looking for her, hoping that she hasn't boarded yet.

He arrives at the designated gate area, but she's nowhere to be found. He's about to approach the help desk when a familiar voice rings out from behind him.

“What are you doing here?”

It’s not lost on him that she utters the same words he so callously said to her in front of his apartment that night.

He heaves a sigh of relief. He turns towards her, taking a step forward, only for her to take a step back, and the small smile on his face fades.

“I need to explain myself.”

“It’s a little too late for that.” She begins to walk around him.

Ethan lightly catches her wrist, stopping her. “Rookie… I know I've hurt you, innumerable times, and I am so sorry. Please hear me out and if you still want to leave afterwards, I will buy you a new ticket home.”

She looks into his imploring orbs and sees nothing but honesty. She closes her eyes, breathes out, and whispers, “I cannot believe I’m about to do this.”

She grabs her stuff and begins walking to a less busy part of the gates area. Ethan is too stunned to move for a moment. She looks over her shoulder and raises an eyebrow at him.

“Right!” and speedwalks after her.

She stands with her suitcase in front of her, arms crossed, waiting for him to start speaking.

He runs his hand through his hair, clears his throat, and locks eyes with her.

“There are no excuses for my actions, but I want you to know that it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me. I know that’s an out people utilize, but in this case, it’s true. You know about my mother abandoning my father and I when I was a child, but what I have not shared is that her leaving absolutely destroyed my father. He waited and waited for her return, all the while putting on a brave face for me, and continuing to love her."

He notices that her arms have fallen back to her sides.

"What he did not know was that I could hear him crying at night, that I would catch him wistfully looking at her pictures, and overhear him leaving her voicemails begging her to come home. Watching him fall apart, while I couldn’t do anything, broke my heart and I promised myself I would never let myself be in the same position. ”

Her eyes have slightly softened now too and it’s all the encouragement he needs to keep going.

“My father says that he and my mother had a great relationship in the beginning. Then a few years down the road, it started to change. He told me that no matter how much you love someone, sometimes it just isn’t enough, because if it was, she wouldn’t have left. Therefore, to ensure that I wouldn’t be left heartbroken again, I closed myself off to anyone and everyone.”

He can feel the tears gathering slowly in his eyes and he tentatively reaches for her hands.

“Until I met you. You have been so incredibly patient, supportive, and understanding with me; I see and feel it everyday. Despite that, I am still afraid. Afraid that one day, you will lose your patience with me or that you will see what my mother, the one person who was supposed to love me most in the world, saw, and leave as well and I’ll be left shattered, begging you to come back to me.”

She begins to try and say something, but Ethan continues.

“I know you are not my mother and that I am not my father. But the images of him in the first few months after she left are ingrained and still haunt me.”

He’s gripping her hands tightly now and she squeezes them comfortingly.

“I do not want to make the same mistakes as my parents: that is what I meant. You, and we, are not a mistake. I know we can, will, do better. I completely misspoke the other night and even Jenner has been acutely avoiding me since then.”

She laughs lightly and it gives Ethan the strength to blink away his tears.

“I am so incredibly sorry for my words and for hurting you. I will spend however long and do whatever it takes to earn your forgiveness.”

He rests his forehead against hers and whispers, "There are not enough words for me to convey my gratitude in having you in my life. You deserve better and I will do my utmost to be better. Forgive me, baby.”

She serenely scans his face and his heart begins to pound so loudly, that he wonders if she can hear it too.

She brings one hand to wrap around the back of his neck and her eyes flutter closed. She gives a small nod and whispers, “Okay.”

“Okay?”

She pulls back far enough to look in his cerulean eyes and nods again. He breaks out into a large grin and sweeps her up into his arms, spinning her around. She laughs in surprise and Ethan thinks it's the most wonderful sound he's ever heard.

He sets her back down and kisses her tenderly, languidly. He pulls away with great effort and takes her plane ticket.

“Now that you won’t be needing this anymore, how about we go back to my place?” He doesn’t wait for her to respond, as he’s already moving to collect her things. She tugs on his hand and he looks up. When their eyes connect, she places one hand on his cheek.

“I know this is difficult for you. So thank you. For your apology, for opening up to me… for trying.”

He leans into her touch and places a sweet kiss to her palm.

“For you, I am always willing to try.”

She beams at him as he places a soft kiss to her temple and they walk out of the airport, hand in hand.

#ethan ramsey #ethan x mc #ethan ramsey x mc #playchoices #choices open heart #open heart #open heart ethan #ethan ramsey fanfiction #ethan ramsey fic #open heart fanfiction #ethan ramsey open heart #open heart fic

105 notes · View notes

kurama-is-love · 4 years ago

Text

Comfort and Harmony (Kurama x Reader)

Word count: 4.365 Pairing: Kurama x Female!Reader Genre: Comfort Fluff, family, romance, mild sexual themes (teasing) Rating: Teen (lots of sexal teasing) Summary: This oneshot is related to the „Poltergeist Movie“. If you haven't seen the movie, you may not understand why Kurama is acting the way he does. After the events with Yakumo and his underlings, Kurama fell in some kind of depression. The memories of his deceased friend Kuronue haunted him more like he wanted to admit. Kurama never showed any sign of weakness or mental breakdowns, but now, that he has human emotions, he occasionally suffers from them without realizing. After not seeing him for two weeks, you decided you pay him a visit and look how he is doing.

You were worried about Kurama. After the events with the Netherking, King Yakumo and his underlings, Kurama seemed to stopped interacting with his friends. According to Yusuke, he wasn't at school either, and he didn't really answered calls from them. The memory of his old friend Kuronue must have torn painful wounds, you knew that from the moment after Kurama had defeated the Netherlord demon, who had disguised himself as Kuronue.

For a long time you quarreled with whether you should visit him at home, at the Minamino house, or whether he would rather have his peace and leave him alone. After all, he didn't just avoid his friends and lover for no reason.

After school, you didn't want to think about it anymore and tried to distract yourself from worrying. But then you noticed that you had gone to the Minamino house by yourself when you stood in front of their front door.

"Okay, that's almost creepy .. His house is in a completely different direction than mine and I'm sure I didn't go in that direction .." you mumbled to yourself and closed your eyes before a smile escaped your lips. "Well, then I can make sure that he's okay when I am here anyway."

You took a deep breath before ringing the doorbell. It was not your first visit there and you already had a mother-child like relationship with Shiori. To be honest it wasn't difficult to build such a close relationship with such a lovable and warm-hearted woman like Shiori.

Said woman opened the door a few moments later she smiled warmly when she saw the visitor.

“[Y/n]-chan, what a nice surprise that you are coming to visit us again. How are you, dear? “ Shiori asked warmly and pulled you into a motherly hug. You smiled and hugged her back before loosening up and scratching your cheek.

“I'm fine, thanks for asking. Hopefully you too. I'm here because I wanted to see Shuuichi .. He doesn't come to school anymore and .. I just wanted to see how he is doing. " You explained. Shiori's smile fell slowly, the condition of her son was troubling her too.

"Shuuichi has been acting really weird for two weeks ..", Shiori began and looked at the ground. Two weeks, yes that was exactly when the Yakumo thing came up. "He hardly comes out of his room, doesn't eat and stares absently in front of himself .." she explained and you saw how hurt Shiori was about the mental absence of her son. You put your arms reassuringly around the older woman's shoulders and smiled confidently at her.

"That is why I am here. I'm going to kick Shuuichi in the butt so that he can at least eat again. Don't worry, Shiori-san. Shuuichi has had a lot of stress in school and with his friends lately. He doesn't mean it that way, really. " You spoke softly and hugged Shiori again. It was like Shiori was your own mother.

“Thank you for your comforting words, dear. It's just, I've never seen Shuuichi like that before. And that just worries me. " She sighed.

“Me too, believe me. Can I see him? " You asked.

“You don't need to ask permission. He's in his room. That he hasn't left in days. As I said, he doesn't even touch the food, which I put in front of the door .. "

"You know what, don't bring him food today. Just cook as usual and set the table for Shuuichi and me. I'll make sure he comes down.“ You promised her with a smile and that calmed Shiori down again when she nodded gratefully and smiled.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Really."

As Shiori moved away for you to come in, you greeted Hatanaka and Kokoda, Hatanaka's son, as you made your way to Kurama's room. If he didn't want to see you, he could still say it in your face. But now it was important to see how he was doing, when even Shiori was already very worried. That wasn't a good sign ..

In front of his room, you knocked so gently that Kurama probably thought you were his mother.

"I'm not hungry, mother." He answered slightly monotonously and you sighed softly. That was really not the Kurama you knew and you didn't want to leave him in a state like this. Without further hesitation, you opened the door to his room and stepped inside. Kurama, lying on his bed, jumped a bit when the door opened. "I said, I-" his sentence stopped when he didn't see his mother, but you. "...Oh sorry. I thought you were my mother. "

You smiled a little and carefully stepped closer.

"I'ts all right. Please forgive me for showing up unannounced, but .. We are all really worried about you. "You spoke. "Yusuke said, you haven't been to school for weeks and your mother said that you hardly ate anything." Your words became quieter and softer when you looked into his face. He looked unhealthy pale and the glow of his emerald green irises was gone. "Kurama, it is really not a good thing that you distance yourself and try to escape your depressive hole on your own."

Kurama was silent as he listened to you. Did he really looked depressed? He hadn't noticed that at all.

"I'm not distancing myself." He tried to defend himself.

“You do. You even avoid your family and ignore our messages completely. " You contradicted him directly.

"Because I need time for myself?"

A low sigh escaped you. Who could have guessed how stubborn this fox could be when he wanted to? Without saying anything else, you stepped closer until you were right in front of his bed. Then you put your arms around him and pressed him against your body.

“Then why doesn't get your condition better when you're alone? Don't fool yourself, Kurama. Being alone is the last thing you need right now. " You spoke softly and hugged him even more to your body. Kurama allowed you every touch, there was so much trust between you two. After all, that's how it should be in a relationship. The fox sighed in defeat and inhaled your scent deeply.

"Thanks." He said after a short moment of silence.

"For what?"

"That you are so persistent and always go your way." He explained and pulled away from you as he caressed your cheek and smiled slightly. That expression on his face looked much better and you smiled too.

"I have to be persistent because you never admit that you need us." You countered teasingly and were glad that you were able to lure your fox out of his reserved condition. Kurama laughed barely audibly and fell back on his pillow. Then he made a wave of his hand that signaled you to lie down next to him. He didn't have to tell you twice, of course, and you snuggled against his chest as you laid down in bed with him. There was a pleasant silence for a moment, until you spoke up again. "Kuronue must have been a very close friend."

“Yes, he was. We were like brothers. ”Kurama explained with a sad smile. You noticed his broken voice and gently stroked his cheek, trying to comfort him.

"Would you like to tell me more about him?"

"What do you want to know?" Kurama asked, surprised that you were so interested in his old friend.

"How did you meet? What was his personality? How long have you been friends? Things like that. ” You listed and Kurama nodded.

"That could take some time," he warned.

"That doesn't matter, I don't intend to leave you anytime soon." You waved your hand and Kurama chuckled softly before he breathed a short kiss on your lips.

"All right."

And so Kurama began with his stories from his past. How he met Kuronue when they were both still children and had lost their parents in a war. You asked him if demons had "children forms", which he answered with a "yes" and you giggled cutely when you imagined Youko as a child.

"What's so funny?" he asked and squeezed your shoulder affectedly as he held you close.

“Funny is the wrong word. I'm just imagining what you looked like as a kid. With your cute little fox ears, the short tail, shorter white hair. Really lovable and adorable. " You admitted, still giggling. You already saw his Youko form at the Dark Tournament.

“If you put it that way now, it almost sounds as if I couldn't be taken seriously. But I take that as a compliment. At least you don't know how I looked as human child. ” Kurama mused.

"Um, I do. Shiori has already shown me some photo albums. "

"Eh? When? Which?"

Kurama's surprised exclamation was just so cute that you had to laugh again.

“Back from your kindergarten days. You were really cute. And then I saw pictures when you were 14. You are not recognizable at all with short hair. “ You spoke and Kurama smiled. “I can reassure you, there weren't any embarrassing pictures."

"There are no embarrassing pictures of me."

"And what about the 'shaving accident' when you had to go to kindergarten with a bald head?"

"... how do you know about it?"

"Hahaha."

"At least I didn't think there were monsters in my closet until I was 13." he teased back now and you blushed a little.

"H-Hey, first of all because you're a demon and second, you didn't had a stupid big brother who told you horror stories and even hid in the closet at night to scare me to death."

"Touché"

You both looked at each other and then shared a laugh. It was so good to see him laughing again.

Kurama went on to tell how he and Kuronue had gone on missions together and how the two were constantly endangered by Youko's spontaneity and carelessness. The expression on his face was priceless when you said that you can imagine that he must have been a chaotic as Youko.

It actually took some time before Kurama's stories were exhausted and he closed his eyes. He hadn't talked so much about his past in a long time.

“I hope it wasn't too difficult to tell me all of this. The last thing I want is to open more wounds. ", You apologized and averted your gaze, feeling a little guilty. You really hoped that your curiosity did not cause him to fall deeper into the hole of depression again. A warm hand on your cheek brought your face back in his direction and you saw him smile genuinely.

“To be honest, I also thought that it hurts to talk about it, but .. I have to say that I feel much more liberated now. It was so good to tell our stories and refresh my memories. I am not sad, [Y/n]. I am happy. Happy about the memories that I regained of my old friend again and happy that I could talk that off my mind. " He spoke softly. You smiled and leaned your head on his.

"See? You just needed someone to talk to."

“No, not 'someone'. You are exactly the person I needed without realizing it. So .. thank you for coming here. " He whispered and pulled you into a gentle and innocent kiss. You closed your eyes and returned the kiss just as lovingly, until the lack of oxygen caused the two of you to break away from the kiss. You leaned forehead against forehead and Kurama hugged his you close.

"No need to thank me. I wanted to show up earlier, but Yusuke and Hiei advised me against doing so. They said you needed this break to collect your thoughts. "

"Yusuke said something like that?" Kurama asked incredulously, causing you to laugh again.

"Let's say Hiei said it."

"I see. I really needed time for myself, but .. I didn't realize how much I would miss you during this time. "

"Oh? A phone call would have been enough and I would have been with you immediately. " You teased him and played with one of his strands of hair.

"Maybe I wanted to see how long it would take until you couldn't take it anymore without me?" He teased back and his hand caressed your clothed bum shamelessly.

"As I said, it only took me so long because of Hiei. If it had been up to me, I would have shown up on the first day you were absent. " You pouted. Kurama smiled. He wouldn't have thought it was possible, but you actually managed to lift him out of his cloud of sorrow. "Can you do me a favor?" You asked then.

"Anything you want," he said, caressing your cheek lovingly. You leaned into his touch and sighed blissfully. Oh, how you had missed this closeness to him in the past two weeks.

“Are you coming downstairs for dinner? I told Shiori to cook for both of us and that I will definitely bring you downstairs. With or without your consent, so better say yes. " You warned with a wink, whereupon Kurama's smile only broadened and softened.

“Of course I'll come with you. Even if I would like to see how you 'force' me. " He said and saw you grin.

"Oh. No you don't want to. I can assure you of that, fox. “ You whispered resolutely and then got up from your cozy, cuddled up to your boyfriend in bed, place,. “Dinner should be ready soon. Let's get down there. "

“Today is Friday, mother always does something more elaborate today. She probably have just started cooking. ”Kurama commented.

"I know. That's exactly why we're going downstairs. You can finally talk to your stepfather and stepbrother again and I'll help Shiori in the kitchen. “ You answered and when you saw how Kurama opened his mouth to say something, you cut him off. “And no, Kurama, I will not allow myself to be talked out of helping. I kind of invited myself to dinner. So it is the least that I can do and help Shiori with the cooking. ”You said and Kurama just smiled silently. He knew that if his girlfriend got something on her mind, he got stuck with arguments. And in that case he would be the last one to forbid you to integrate into his family.

The young couple left the room and came down the stairs, when Shiori heard two sets of footsteps and ran from the kitchen to the living room, which was adjacent to the stairs.

"Shuuichi ..!" She shouted and smiled in relief when she saw that her son seemed apparently better.

"Sorry for bothering you, mother." He apologized and hugged his mother tightly. Shiori shook her head in understanding.

"The main thing is that you are better. I am so glad that you are back on track. You looked so terrible the last few days .. So pale, as if the spirits of life had left you. "

"What? That bad? " Kurama asked, shocked, before Hatanaka laughed gently and put his arm around his son-in-law like a companion.

“Yes, my boy. But as I can see you had a very good therapy from this phase. You look great. “ he agreed. Kurama smiled and closed his eyes.

“I'm sorry for all the grief. But you're right, I actually had the best therapy you can imagine. " He spoke and looked at you, making you avert your gaze in embarassment and playing with one of your strands of hair.

"Ahaha. I'll go into the kitchen and help Shiori with the cooking. "

"Dear, you really don't have to. Basically everything has already been prepared. "

"I still want to help."

"Alright."

Kurama smiled contentedly when the two women disappeared towards the kitchen and he stayed in the living room with Hatanaka.

"And we can also make ourselves useful and set the table."

"Yes, stepfather."

Kurama smiled again and looked into the kitchen. Shiori and you laughed together and talked lively. He was so happy that his loved one and his mother got along so well. But then again ... Was there anyone who didn't get along with Shiori? She was downright an angel. The dearest person on earth. Only such a person could eventually change his demonic beliefs.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

During dinner you sat between Kurama and Shiori, next to her Hatanaka and Kokoda rounded off the table on the other side to Kurama. Everyone talked freely and Kurama seemed to have finally found his way back to his friendly nature.

Under the table, his hand wandered inconspicuously next to him while he was eating and gently took your hand to give it an affectionate squeeze. You looked under the table beside you and smiled as you looked up at Kurama and looked into his happily vibrating irises. You two lingered in this rigidity for a moment until Kokoda blinked and looked under the table.

"Can't you two keep your hands off each other for 5 minutes?" Kokoda asked amused and Hatanaka scolded his son with clearing his throat. Kurama and you blushed because you were caught and looked into the smiling faces of Shiori and Hatanaka. Despite this situation, Kurama did not let go of your hand.

“There is a lot of catching up to do. We haven't seen each other for 2 weeks, ” the redhead smiled, slightly cheeky.

"And whose fault is that?", You asked teasingly, which made Kokoda laugh.

"She owned you, brother."

"It would be unfair if I were always the winner in the relationship."

Kurama's quick-witted answer made you open your mouth a little indignantly in shock before looking at Kurama's smiling face. He winked at you to make you understand that it was all just kidding. But of course you knew that beforehand.

“Shuuichi, don't be so complacent. Of course you are the winner in this relationship. After all, I'm a good catch. " You said jokingly, whereupon Kokoda patted his brother on the shoulder in a friendly manner.

"Your girlfriend is really on fire, Shuuichi." He said with a grin.

"Indeed." Kurama agreed with his stepbrother and pulled on your hand, which he held the whole time, to pull you close with a little more force. Now his lips were on your ear and his voice was deep and low so that his family could not hear what he was whispering in your ear. “Without you, this dinner would be pretty uncomfortable. But the mood is so harmonic and relaxed. Thank you, my love. " He whispered in your ear and you suppressed a blissful sigh before putting your arm around his head to move so that this time your mouth was at his ear and you could whisper back.

“It's just because you have a really great family. With them you can just laugh and feel good. Believe me, we are all happy that you’re back to being the old Shuuichi we all love. So no need to thank me. "You breathed in his ear and Kurama's smile turned into an almost embarrassed grin.

"Awww. Get a room, lovebirds. " Kokoda said, until he was scolded again by Hatanaka. Man, this boy could be even more annoying than Yusuke with his comments. This two would certainly get along well.

After this incident, the rest of the dinner was quieter and everyday things were talked about. Kurama thanked you for being so prescient and for telling Shiori a good excuse that explained his condition. He could never told her the truth. It was almost frightening to him how well you could adapt to the circumstances of his family and almost automatically only call him Shuuichi automatically when you entered the house. He often had to interrupt Yusuke or Kuwabara when they wanted to adress him as Kurama in front of his mother, because they had simply forgotten that Shiori knew nothing of his true identity.

"The food was really delicious, Shiori." You said then.

“Thank you, but actually it was partly the food that you helped with. So you basically gave yourself a compliment. " Shiori replied, laughing gently.

"Heh. I was just helping you out. I can't come close to your culinary skills. " You laughed and saw Shiori get up to get the dishes. "Stay seated. I'll take care of that. "

“Oh no, you are a guest. I shouldn't have allowed you to help in the first place. There is no way I could let you do the dishes. " Shiori sighed with a guilty conscience.

“I don't mind! The food was so delicious and you can treat yourself to some rest. After all, you have to cook and run the household for three men who are always hungry. I bet nobody will help you from this lazy himbos! " You snorted in a „not serious“ tone and pointed to the men.

"That's not true. Kazuya helps me a lot and Shuuichi also does what he can. Kokoda also has his household chores, which he does, thanks to Shuuichi. " Shiori explained with a smile.

"Really? Okay, then I didn't say anything. But I still do the dishes. I can always relax and pursue my thoughts, " You explained further.

"If you don't take mother's help, may I help you with the dishes?" Kurama's voice was soft as he put his hand on your shoulder and brushed down a few stray strands of hair. A tender smile was reflected on his lips.

"Oah, please no sex in the kitchen. That's so unhygienic. " Kokoda groaned annoyed, but he continued to grin when the couple turned away from each other, blushing.

"Of course you can. But no roaming hands." You warned and Kurama chuckled as he followed you into the kitchen. Shiori and Hatanaka looked at each other and laughed heartily.

"They are so cute together."

"Indeed. I'm so happy that Shuuichi has finally found someone who makes him so happy. "

"Yes."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

In the kitchen, you hummed happily as you washed the dishes. You really enjoyed Kurama's family. They were so warm and harmonious and you already felt like a member of the family. Above all, however, you were infinitely happy that your Kurama was back to normal and no longer isolated from everyone.

“It would be the best if we give Yusuke a call and tell him that you are feeling better. Otherwise he'll bomb me with countless messages tomorrow and want to know how my visit went. " You chuckled.

"Mhm. Or we just keep our cell phones off and just enjoy the next few days as a couple? ” Kurama suggested instead, which elicited an embarrassed smile from you.

“A tempting idea. But it's not fair for our other friends. They're very worried about you too. Please. ” You said then and Kurama couldn't help but put the towel, he was holding to dry the dishes, aside and put his arms around you from behind to hold you tight.

"Alright. A short feedback can be set up. But after that I would like to be undisturbed with my girlfriend for a while. Or do you have any objection? ”He asked and began to nibble on your earlobe. You stopped your work and closed your eyes to gasp softly.

"No, I haven't," You replied softly, whereupon Kurama grinned against your skin and kissed your neck.

"Good .." he breathed and his hands went under your shirt to caress the bare skin underneath.

"S-Shuuichi .. Not .. here." Your protests were quiet and uncertain. Kurama started sucking on your neck while his hands went to your breasts and gently squeezed them over your bra. "Your family could hear us .."

"Then you shouldn't be so loud, huh?" Kurama purred in a deep and erotic voice that left no room for discussion. You bit your lip as he put his knee between your legs from behind and used his knee to grind and rub at your crotch. His fingers flicked your clothed nipples and his mouth was hot and greedy between your neck and shoulder.

"N-No .. We can't …" it was rare that you resisted against such intimacies. In fact, you never had any objections. "... I don't trust my mouth ..." You explained afterwards.

Kurama kissed your neck gently up to your ear before looking at her questioningly. "I find your mouth trustworthy." He smiled and took your earlobe into his mouth to suck on it. You sighed and slowly moved away from him before turning around and looking deeply and apologetically into his eyes.

"You do not understand this. I'm afraid ... that the name I'm going to moan won't be Shuuichi. " You said very quietly and Kurama understood now. He smiled understandingly and pulled you into a gentle hug before kissing your forehead lovingly.

"I understand. Thank you for your care. " He whispered against your lips before giving you a gentle kiss.

You smiled gratefully and laid your head on his shoulder. "It's fine. Maybe we'll find a soundproof room here. " You smirked jokingly. Kurama glanced at you with an illegible face before lifting you up in his arms. "Wh-?"

"The bathroom is soundproof," he grinned.

"… Seriously? .." You laughed and put your hand over your forehead when your redhead only smiled innocently at you. "And the dishes?"

“Let's foist them off to my stepbrother. He's been neglecting his duties lately anyway. Just like me in .. certain other things. " He whispered and kissed your lips gently. You blushed after realizing what he meant and just giggled happily as Kurama carried you past his family with a laugh and asked Kokoda to continue the dishes.

You disappeared up the stairs to the bathroom and were not seen again that evening.

Everything was the same again.

#Kurama #youko kurama #youko kurama x reader #youko #yoko kurama #yoko #Kuronue #Kurama x Reader #Minamino Shuichi #shuichi minamino #shuichi minamino x reader #Shuuichi Minamino #Minamino Shuuichi #Shuuichi Minamino x Reader #YYH #Yu Yu Hakusho #yuu yuu hakusho

133 notes · View notes

slytherweasley · 4 years ago

Text

Break up (Oliver Wood x reader)

Warnings: swearing

Summary: Oliver has been spending more time on quidditch and after many attempts of getting him back Y/n decides she has to do something about it.

Your boyfriend is the Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team. When you started dating you knew he’d be busy, you both made it work for a year but the past few months have been the worst. The first couple months you just assumed this wouldn’t last long but now you realise you haven’t spent any time with Oliver. The only time you see him is at night when he’s exhausted and falls asleep in your arms.

He has treated you the same, he’s still sweet and kind and always looking out for you but when you bring up his absence he always finds an excuse. You decided you’d try once more to get him to spend some time with you and only you.

At breakfast he was busy talking to Madam Hooch about the Quidditch game the past weekend. You had classes with him so you decided that’s when you would ask. In the last class of the day you decide to ask him. “Hey Oli” You whisper “Yes darling?” “Will you hang out with me tonight? You don’t have practise do you?” “Oh darling, I’m sorry I promised Madam Hooch I’d help some first years with extra flying practise.” “What about the weekend?” “I’m flooded with homework I haven’t done.” “Maybe we can do it together?” “You know I would love to but the professors have made everyone on the Quidditch team do it in the great hall since none of us have done much work.” “Is there any day that we can actually hang out together?” Oliver thinks, you can tell he’s actually thinking about it, his face drops. “I’m sor-“ Forget it” you get up and walk away as class is being dismissed.

You were heartbroken, he was volunteering for jobs when he could have used that time for the both of you to spend some time together, more than just a day of classes. You heard Oliver yelling your name from behind you in the crowded hallway but you didn’t dare to turn around. If he really cared he’d drop everything but he didn’t.

That night you didn’t wait for him in his dorm you went to your own. Around 11 that night there was loud knocking on the door it woke you and your dorm mates up. Your friend answers the door “Y/n it’s Oliver” you groan and get up. “What?” You cross your arms “I can’t sleep without you” “That’s why you woke up me and my dorm mates?” “Yes I’m sorry, I love you so much.” “No, I’m not sleeping with you. If you can’t sleep that’s your fault” “Please Y/n, I miss you” “No you don’t, you miss having someone who you can brag about with your friend and not spend any time with.” You shut the door and get back into bed, Oliver takes the hint and walks away.

“Wow, that was intense” one of your dorm mates says “I’m sorry he woke you all up, he won’t be back now.” You close your eyes and fall back asleep.

The next morning you sit down at breakfast and Oliver joins you, for once he’s not talking to his friends or Quidditch teammates. “Y/n, darling” he holds your hand “Oliver I’m not in the mood” he looks tired, like he’s only slept a few hours. I’m sorry for waking you up and your friends and I’m sorry for being so busy all the time. It’s hard to say no to people and I stress myself out and I know I haven’t seen you for hours, when you’ve sat in my dorm waiting for me for hours.” “Oliver I need time to think” “Think? Think about what?” “Think about if I want to be with you anymore” you see the hurt on his face. “Darling, I’m sorry, I really don’t want to break up, I love you so much.”

Oliver spends the afternoon at Quidditch practise and he skips dinner again because he’s so busy doing you don’t know what. You wait for him in his dorm again, his eyes light up when he sees you. “Hey gorgeous” “Oliver, I’ve decided” “What’s it going to be?” He asks cautiously. “We need to break up” he rushes over to your side “Please darling, I need you” “You don’t need me that much since you never spend time with me.” “What can I do to change your mind?” “Nothing, my mind is made up. Maybe you should’ve asked before it got to this” “I never meant for it to get this far, I am always thinking about you. I love you so much, my feelings haven’t changed.” “This isn’t easy or fun for me Oliver, I can’t be always waiting for you while you make plans and not hang out with me” you give him a hug “When you’ve got your life sorted I’ll think about it.”

As you walk out the door you hear his weeping. You go up to your dorm, your dorm mates are all getting ready for bed, you think you’ll be fine until you go to put on his hoodie. You hold it in your hands and tears fall down your cheek. Your dorm mates hug you and help you through it. It felt strange seeing Oliver sit with his friends and you sit with yours. He started sitting up the back of the classroom with his friends while you sat by yourself in some classes. You and Oliver were so in love with each other you chose the same classes just so you could be with each other all the time. Now it makes you regret that decision, he always looks sad when he enters the classroom with his friends and sees you.

It’s been a few weeks, you still aren’t over Oliver but you know you’d be feeling worse if you decided to forgive him. You sit in the common room by the fire and read your book, you overhear someone say Oliver’s name which obviously draws your attention. You realise it’s the Quidditch team talking, probably about practise so you go back to reading. “Ever since Y/n dumped him, he’s been so laidback at practise” Fred says “I know, I fucked up a lot and he said nothing, he just watched.” “Give him a break, I’d be sad too if my boyfriend broke up with me after almost a year and a half” Angelina says “I heard people are saying it’s his fault. Apparently he knocked on her door and yelled at her” “I heard that too, I can imagine Oliver getting mad but not at Y/n.” “He’s been crying ever since, I feel bad but we can’t do anything about it.”

You hated that people were making up rumours and talking about it like it didn’t hurt both of you, people assumed since you broke up with him you’re fine. You stand up and walk away “Did anyone see her there?” You hear someone say as you walk away. More and more you started to notice Oliver was hanging out with friends in the common room. Until he would be there a lot, even after quidditch practise and he would eat dinner every day too. You were happy he started to hang out with his friends again because he was almost never seeing them.

Some of your friends have started dating Oliver’s friends. You and Oliver introduced them to each other when you started dating and now some of them are actually dating. They don’t hang out when you’re both around, they’re being nice but since you’re always with them and Oliver is always with his friends. They never hang out as a group. “I’ll go upstairs so you guys can go talk to your boyfriends” “No, stay. We will feel bad if you’re there alone” “I’ll sit by the fire and read my book then” “Y/n we don’t always have to hang out with them.” “I want to read anyway.”

Your friend Amelia comes up with you to your dorm to get your book. “You know, they are saying Oliver is doing better, I think you guys should talk again, even if you don’t want to get back together” “Maybe.” You search through your pile of books and find the one you want to read. “I’m just saying, I think he’s done a lot to try to win you back so maybe if he does talk to you, be gentle.” “I’m not going to be rude, I miss him a lot” you walk back to the common room with her and see Oliver talking to your friends. She gives you a side hug before walking over to the group of friends. You sit with your back up against the couch near the fire. It was late so no one claimed the couch.

You read a few pages before someone sits beside you. You turn to see Oliver “Hi” he smiles “Hi” you smile back. “Sorry for bothering you, I know how you don’t like being bothered when you’re alone but I was hoping we could talk.” “Yeah we can talk” “How have you been?” “Not great but alright considering everything, How about you?” “About the same. I really am sorry” “I’ve heard it a few times, Oliver” “Sorry- just I don’t know what I’m supposed to say without it being weird” “Say whatever you’d like I’m not going to judge you.” “Well at first I was really upset then I decided I’d have to do something about it if I wanted you back. What I’m trying to say is, I have tried really hard to be like I used to but better. I’m not doing any extra jobs for anyone and I am focusing on making my team ready for this Quidditch season.” “I’m happy for you Oliver, I can’t say I’ve been doing much different.”

“What can I do to get you back?” “Just show me that you’ve changed. Maybe we can start hanging out again” “Thank you Y/n.”

#oliver wood x y/n #oliver wood angst #oliver wood x you #oliver wood x reader #oliver wood fanfiction #oliver wood imagine #oliver wood

255 notes · View notes

karlnapity · 3 years ago

Text

Some Things Live But All Things Die

AO3 link here.

TWs: Major character death, explicit grief, torture.

Sapnap appears on your doorstep on a gloomy day.

Perhaps it’s apt for the occasion. You’re shivering, and so is he, and it’s more alike than you’ve been in months.

It’s raining, and he is too.

You force open the door with more than a little hesitance; you’d ignore it, usually, but there’s something in his gaze, in the way he’s holding himself.

It’s only once he opens the door that you realize he’s crying.

It pulls at you, makes you want to pull him close. You don’t.

He makes no move to talk. You don’t urge him to.

There’s a sinking pit in your stomach.

He sobs, then, sinking to his knees on your porch step. The lights of Las Nevadas twinkle in the background, a cruel mockery of everything you always did for him.

This isn’t right.

“He’s gone,” Sapnap wails, and you immediately know what he means.

Something in you shatters.

Getting the full story is difficult between it all. You fall to your knees in front of him like a man begging forgiveness, and maybe you are.

He tells you the story in stops and starts as the rain tumbles down, in sobs and heaves, and you want to pull him close but he’s so far despite the distance.

You don’t want this story.

It’s not quite a surprise, really, what happened, when you think about it; you were always going to lose him first.

You’re not sure why it surprises you that he was as fragile as you thought.

He disappeared, says Sapnap, for days at a time, and you think you remember witnessing it a few times yourself. He says he couldn’t remember hardly anything.

It stings. Your absence is irrelevant, now, but some part of you is clawing, dying to know whether he chose not to tell you about his country or if it was all the set-aside madness of an already dying man.

You will never know.

He disappeared, Sap explains, and he thought it was normal, one of his casual disappearances, and he didn’t worry until it had been a few weeks.

Sap sobs, apologizes maybe ten times, for not realizing, and your anger flares for a second before the shame comes crashing down.

You didn’t even know. You knew none of it. You have no room to speak.

“It was George who found his body,” Sap says.

You don’t want to see him, but it’s the fucking least you can do.

It doesn’t feel real until you see him. You hardly have time to think about his kingdom as you’re led through for the first time (and that burns in and of itself), the glowing lights dimmed as though the land itself is mourning.

He looks like he’s sleeping, such a difference from the last dead body you saw.

He’s gray, like one of the ghosts, as though he’s coated in soot and ash. You almost want to reach out and try to brush it off, as stupid as it is.

His clothes, even, are as grayscale as the rest of him, like a washed-out film.

“He was like this when we found him,” George says. You don’t point out his use of ‘we.’

And it suddenly feels real. You feel like throwing up.

“I need to leave,” you say, and you ignore the way you’re running away again.

> You don’t want him to come back. You don’t want to see him shaded in gray, not like his death.

He was always meant to be colorful. This isn’t fair.

> “Are you crying?”

“Shut up,” you grumble, despite the way you are.

“Are you crying?” Dream repeats in delight. He found a weakness and he’s weedling it like a boy pulling off the wings of butterflies.

“Shut up!” You scream, despite the way you are. You take his collar and slam his head into the wall with a sickening crack.

“What happened, Quackity?” He sings.

You wish you knew.

His pain feels useless for the first time.

> You visit his kingdom.

It’s beautiful, but empty, and you know it was all him.

He was what made it special, and without his watch it seems decrepit, as though it’s been abandoned for centuries rather than days.

You don’t look around. It deserved his tour.

> You think of Wilbur, in his grand gestures and the beautiful way he destroyed himself, and you think you understand it, just a little.

My grand symphony, he’d said, forever unfinished, or at least that’s what Philza had said.

Forever unfinished.

When it had exploded, you hadn’t understood it, had wanted to ask how a man could be so destroyed that he’d take the life of his own nation.

The slime helps you collect sand for TNT.

You're too cowardly to use it. > Mourning is a funny word.

You’ve mourned enough, really. Your ex-husband, your relationship, your dreams, and now him.

Your last funeral was a celebration, and you sit back, now, wonder if it was a mistake to let him go at all.

“Do you think I made a mistake?” You ask a ghost.

It blows smoke in your face. “I don’t think I’m the one to give you advice on self-destruction, babe.”

You wave it away. “Maybe not.”

There’s a silence in which you observe its cave. It’s a pale imitation of its character, but then again his ghost is anyways. That stings too.

“Is it right to wish it never happened? So I can avoid the mourning?”

It looks at you, then, red horns flashing. “There’s no right to pain.”

> Your husband’s body was all harsh lines and pained twists. His is soft and peaceful.

You can’t stop thinking of it.

He looked like he was sleeping. You don’t know why that hurts so much.

> Dream can bring him back.

This time it’s personal. You will not let him be lost. >

You let him die. This is your fault.

You were petty, and vindictive, and you are to blame.

“We wondered why you didn’t come home,” Sap says, and it grates, feels like nails on a chalkboard, but you have to hear it. You deserve every bit of guilt.

“And George told us, then, that you didn’t want to, and we were so confused.”

“He never told me,” you whisper.

Sap’s hand twitches, as though he’s resisting reaching out to you. You’ve been doing that a lot lately, unsure where you stand. It hurts.

“I know, Q,” he says. The sympathy doesn’t, shouldn’t belong to you.

“I should’ve come home anyways. I’m sorry.”

“I wish you had. We never would’ve left you that easily.”

It’s not much use now. > Dream doesn’t matter.

You’ve been more vicious, lately, as even Sam grows uneasy, but it doesn’t matter.

You hardly feel in control of the violence anymore. > The slime asks you about the abandoned machines, one day, asking about the matching colors, and you crumble.

It doesn’t much know how to help with tears, but its company is welcome.

You’re taking advantage of its kindness like this. It doesn’t understand what you did.

> Meetings are useless. Technoblade doesn’t seem to understand this.

He snaps his fingers in front of your face, repeats his question, but it doesn’t matter. You push your chair, stand up, prepare to leave-

“Are you alright?”

You let out something between a whine and a scream. “You’re not the kind of person to be asking me that.”

“I know. But I’m asking anyways.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

You deserve this guilt. > “I can’t bring him back,” Dream wheezes. “This is useless.”

You push your knife through his shoulder, pin him to the ground. “You’re lying.”

“Stop, stop, stop!” He shrieks, and you let up, only barely.

“Quackity, Quackity, I need a ghost, please.”

You sit up on your heels, scream into your hands. You signal for Sam to raise the lava, leaving Dream pinned. “If you’re lying, I’ll kill you this time, I really will.”

He’s scared of you for the first time, and it’s not satisfying. >

> Sap looks at you like he doesn’t know you.

Did he ever know you? That’s a frightening thought.

If he knew what you were doing, he would hate you.

You don’t care. You just want him back. > And thus begins your search for a ghost. You ask your own. It shrugs.

“But everyone has a ghost,” you plead. “That’s what you told me.”

“That doesn’t mean they want to be seen.” The plumes of smoke obscure its face. “Remember the kid? He hardly showed up at all in the time he was dead.”

“But he’d want to see me,” you whine, and it sounds wrong to your own ears. “So he has to be somewhere around here.”

“Q.” Its voice is surprisingly serious. “If you ever brought me back I’d hate you forever. Don’t force this on him.”

“But-”

“Listen to me. If I came back? My shitty fucking heart would probably give out again immediately. You don’t know why he died, right? Don’t hurt him because you miss him.”

You crumple. “I need to fix this. I need to.”

“There’s no fixing, babe. Just don’t break it more.”

You hate it. > “Q.”

Fuck.

“What, Sap?”

The nicknames are familiar on your tongue, just like the tension in the air.

“Can you tell me what you’re doing?” He comes up behind you, holds your arms like he used to when you got upset.

You never look at people when you’re upset. He’s the one who noticed.

“He was so observant,” you murmur. You’re not sure when the habit started, of needing to tell people about him. As though you’ll forgethimlikeheforgotyou-

No.

“He was,” Sap replies as you curl in on yourself, holding you closer.

“What are you doing?” He whispers. “Just tell me. I can’t lose you too.”

The last part is so quiet you have to strain to hear him. You wish you hadn’t. You let loose a wail, almost a scream.

This isn’t fair. None of this is fair.

“I want him back. I’m going to get him.”

Sap pulls you to the ground, still holding you close. “I know. Me too.”

“Dream has the book.”

You hear him suck in a violent inhale, like he’s been punched in the stomach. “Q. No.”

“He can bring him back!” You exclaim, twisting to look at him.

He looks… sad. It’s an inadequate word, so simple for the expression, for the feeling, that it’s almost useless. He looks like… he looks like you.

“Why don’t you want to? Why wouldn’t you?” You argue. You plead.

“Q, he wouldn’t want to! He told me!”

“That’s fucking bullshit!” You shoot to your feet. “That’s bullshit! Just ‘cause you don’t want to-”

His expression hardens. “I want to see him just as much as you do, Q-”

“No you don’t!” Your hands raise to grip at your beanie. “No you don’t! I need to- I need to apologize I need to tell him-”

“Quackity, shut up for five seconds and listen to me!” He’s sobbing, now, you both are, breathing heavy.

It gets you to shut up.

“He knew. He knew something was wrong, and he told me that if anything happens to leave him alone. And I thought he was joking. I didn’t take him seriously.” He wipes at his eyes, but it’s no use with how hard he’s crying. “And I kick myself for that every single day. We all regret things, Q.”

And when he holds you close this time it feels comforting instead of constricting.

“I thought you left me,” you start. “And I never got to see him or his kingdom or you and I never got to spend time with you because I was too busy being a stubborn asshole.”

“You know he’d forgive you.”

“But I don’t forgive myself.” It hurts to admit. “Because I never got to see him again.”

He holds you tight. “I know.”

> “Were you mad? When I got with Sap and… him?” You can’t say his name.

It shrugs. “I don’t really remember. It doesn’t really matter.”

“I don’t want him to be mad.”

“Don’t let the dead make your choices, sweetheart. We’re past our time.”

You let out a low chuckle. “Isn’t that all the dead do? Make our choices?”

It smiles ruefully. “Only if you let us.”

> “I was scared,” you say, entwining your fingers as you lay on the roof and pulling him down with you, “that it was wrong, to still love you.”

“I know,” Sap does, laying next to you. He looks at the stars. “Me too. But I do. Still love you, I mean.”

“But we’ll always be missing something.”

“That too. But it’s… it’s not okay, but it will be, I think.”

“I hope you’re right. I want you to be.” > And you don’t forgive yourself, but Sap does, but your ex-husband does, and that has to be enough.

You don’t see his ghost. Maybe it’s around, maybe it’s not, and that has to be enough, too.

Grief is awful. Mourning is awful. It hurts, a constriction around your throat.

You grieved your relationship, thought that would kill you, and it was only child’s play. Sometimes you’re certain you’ll die just from the pain of it all.

It’s not fair. Not to any of you. And that has to be enough.

But it will be okay. And that will have to be enough.

#be quiet i'm writing #karlnapity #quackity #sapnap #karl jacobs #georgenotfound #dream #dreamwastaken #jschlatt #dream smp #dsmp #mcyt #las nevadas #kinoko kingdom #myctblr #fanfiction

51 notes · View notes