#please add in the comments

[tavyliasin]

Fandom Essay - Body Positivity and Validation

Good timezone darlings~ Lia is back at it again with some examination of BG3 Fandom and some more of the wonderful things we can find within it. This time we are talking about representation of different physical features. If you feel this might be a little much for you, either in regards to your relationship to your body or any potential dysphoria, please feel free to skip it. Second disclaimer that I will be mentioning trans and nonbinary people here from the perspective of a Cis person - this is absolutely not my right to speak for or over anyone so I thoroughly welcome the voices of those with lived experiences to join in the comments with their input, but I also did not want to leave the topic out of the discussion and you may just see why as we get into it~ So on with today's long title:

How FanWorks Can Be Important To Self Acceptance And Body Positivity - The Next "Callout Essay" from TavyliaSin (Who is calling herself out with these too) ((there are reasons it feels targeted I know where to aim)) (((but honestly it's fine it's all positive I promise)))

Today we will be discussing: body types, disability representation (only a little though, this one may need a full post of its own), body size, gender (and gender euphoria), scars and "imperfections", visible ageing. This will be through the lens of both the canon inclusion and everything we see in mods, edits, and fan creations of all kinds. As usual I will use sub headers and encourage anyone to skip what makes them uncomfortable, as well as to join the discussion~ so let's begin, shall we?

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What Does Body Positivity Mean?

Let's start off with the simple one. Body positivity doesn't mean promoting any one body type as the ideal or as better than any others, it is about being positive about the mortal flesh vessels we inhabit and all of their features. A lot of people can find this difficult, to love oneself or even just accept oneself, especially in a highly critical society. But that is where representation and even fan creations can step in - by being vocal and loud about appreciating features that people may feel negative about in themselves, we can help build up confidence and self worth, as well as reminding all of us that we do not have to look a certain way to be desirable and desired~

How Does This Relate To Baldur's Gate 3?

On the surface, we do have a lot of characters with more conventionally accepted body types in the main cast and romance characters, though it is worth noting that the base models were updated to be less "Hollywood muscles" on a couple of characters, which made more sense to the character stats and backstories (unless Gale was working out every day in his tower, he's not that much like a bodybuilder physique).

But aside from this, when you look closer, there's also an awful lot to appreciate in the standard character designs. A lot of these are things which fans pick up on and adore, despite how they may be features that people are actively bullied for or that are seen as undesirable by beauty standards. Those "beauty standards" can get in the trash too, but I'll use it here to point out the things we are shining a positive light on in the face of those societal values~ Karlach - Our tall queen, strong and muscular and not particularly feminine with her tattoos, piercings, and hairstyle. But she is adored for all of those things, even her broken horn is an important feature, alongside the glowing heart and fire that have some in the game view her as monstrous until they look closer and know her. Astarion - His laugh lines. Gods don't we love those? The wrinkles in his face are experience, and of course he has those signs of exhaustion in his eyes that make him so much more relatable to many of us. Lae'zel - This might feel like cheating as she's not human, and is less human-like than most of the other characters, but in a way that is also an important one. She's still desirable and treated as such in the romances, as well as very much adored by the fans. Gale - The little signs of ageing and stress mark Gale's face, and even the hints of greying in his hair are picked up on and chewed on by those who love him most. Wyll - More on him later but honestly is he not the poster boy for physical acceptance? Not only do we have his initial appearance with the stone eye but with one choice his entire body is completely changed and part of his story is arguably learning to live with this and how his new look is likely going to be seen as everything he ever feared. Halsin - Are we cheating with BIG TALL MUSCLE MOUNTAIN because many people find this attractive to start with? Maybe, but again he has clear signs of ageing, as well as very obvious facial scarring. His look might easily be described as fearsome, and yet his personality couldn't be further from it. Raphael - Hello there lovers of older men, who look at each one of those wrinkles and his brow lines and start sweating a bit more. I'm with you, he's gorgeous because of those signs of aging, not despite them. Abdirak - Our real poster boy for scars and visible wounds. Features which have long been given only to villainous characters in fiction (particularly that aimed at younger audiences) and yes he is one of the most violent characters, but he is also immediately deeply sympathetic to the player. So we are no longer equating scars/visual difference with pure evil. In general we have a lot of features that are not overly smoothed out or homogenised to fit certain standards. We have different nose shapes, visible pores, scars, acne marks, wrinkles, greying hair, moles, freckles, body hair, and a lot of variety across face shapes and features. It makes the characters feel more real, more relatable, and seeing features closer to our own can be comforting and validating in a lot of ways. Of course there are more examples, and far more we could say about each one of these and all the things that make them unique that we love about them, but we would be here all day and there are other topics to cover!

What About The Player Characters?

So we do have a range of fantasy races, many of which arguably don't represent real humans at all, and we do also lack variation in body types in the standard game. But we also have player characters with shorter statures with the dwarves, halflings and gnomes. Beyond just being part of the lore and story, there is some representation here for similar body types in real life. I can't say a lot on this as I neither have personal experience nor do I personally know anyone who could speak on how they feel about these races in comparison to lived experiences, but it would be equally unfair to leave the point out of the conversation - please do add something in the comments if you have the knowledge and emotional bandwidth to spare, I would love to hear about your experiences and opinions! Aside from this we have a wide range of skin tones (though my own is too close to plain paper to be able to tell you if this is anywhere near adequate so please feel free to weigh in with lived experience here) as well as scars and other features in the character creation. There's also vitiligo pigmentation, which is not only representing the condition but also normalising it to those who aren't familiar and making some rather beautiful options for our characters in my opinion. Even in the hair styles there are a couple of options featuring thinner hair or baldness patterns. There are less options for textured hairstyles and the facial features are equally limited, but there are some truly gorgeous mods out there which I'll mention later.

Player Characters And Gender

Another caveat to please weigh in with your lived experiences, but this one is one that I've seen friends enjoy and it was really wonderful to see that delight. Being able to select pronouns, genitals, body type, and voice all independently of each other is something which is so vastly meaningful to a lot of players. To some it might just be "oh cool I get to choose what my character looks like naked", but to a nonbinary friend of mine... Well, they were sending me happy, joyful, and what can only be described as "delightfully shouty" messages when they were in character creation. To paraphrase, and to tone it down just a little, it went something like this:

"Wait you mean I can have a character look and exist the way I want to be? I can actually have myself represented on screen, and nobody will misgender me, and nobody will decline a romance based on any of this?!"

Maybe it seems silly but I got tearful to see them just absolutely losing it over having these options. They've been stuck with binary options in most fantasy RPGs for so long... Of course there's still things that could be improved, there always will be, but that joy? Priceless. It meant something in that moment and I hope it will continue to mean something to a lot more people in many moments to come. Of course there are still flaws - the faces and bodies are still gender matched, and it isn't possible for people to refine the size and shape of player character chests. In some ways really what we have is the bare minimum, a start that needs to go further, but seeing as there have been precious few games in the genre to even reach this low bar it is good to recognise it, to say "this brought people joy and is worth the effort to make it happen", and to say "please go further because there is genuine interest."

What About Mods?

This is where we can see a lot more of that positivity flourishing. There are countless options, from having more hairstyles and hair types, to face shapes and features, all the way to body types and adding in top surgery scars. Giving the game the ability to be modded, and potentially even encouraging and supporting it, means we can see so much more of that body positivity and representation. Having a hero who shares your features, seeing romances play out where the characters are valued in every way just as they are. Being able to mod softer and wider body types to the Origin characters too, taking the form away from the bodybuilder/model physique and far closer to more average - and undeniably still devastatingly attractive - body types. Seeing the trans-Origin character headcanons portrayed too, that's just so utterly divine~ (There is a lot to be said about parallels to LGBTQIA+ experiences in the Origin storylines, too, so feel free to comment on those at the end if you would like to) To all of you out there making mods, and sharing the characters you've created using other peoples' mods - thank you! I adore seeing all of these, as well as people's happiness in sharing and using them too~

I don't even use mods, honestly darlings I'm not the best with tech at times and as I'm spending vastly more hours writing than playing it's likely not as worth it for me - especially when people share the modded content for us all to enjoy in videos and screenshots. But I love how many there are, that they exist, and all the ways they give people joy and euphoria to see their own body types and/or body types they find to be desirable~

But Wasn't This Post About Fandom and Fan Creations?

It was - and is! Because after all of the content you can get in the base game and in the modded version, what comes after is where the fans go with it from there.

That's truly where we get the most body positivity and joy. Headcanons leave the head and pour onto the page. We see characters reimagined a hundred times, each with their own twist, their own enthusiasm both from the creator and from fans just eating up every piece that comes out. There's so much variety there seems to be almost anything you could wish for with almost any character, and I can guarantee you that if there's something you'd like to see and aren't seeing out there, there will be an artist willing to work on the idea (most likely on commission basis, we do prefer to ensure our artists can eat after all, but there may be some willing to just adopt ideas to draw as their own too). This even extends to cosplay, with gender-swapped characters, as well as the one thing I will always be vocal about in cosplay - everyone should be allowed to wear the character costumes they love regardless of body types or how well their body/face matches the original character. Though this does come with the caveat that skin should never be darkened to match a character's look (if that character has a natural type skin tone, obviously green etc is not an issue) - just be your own version of the character if you adore them enough to put the costume together.

And your work?...

Thank you for asking Lia, let me answer that one for you. Of course, take it away, Lia! Ahem silliness aside, there is something you might or might not have noticed in my writing. I don't do a lot of body-type description. You can imagine whatever you like as you read - Gale with a soft tummy to snuggle? Yes please! Or you can imagine him with sculped abs, or a more slender frame - whatever brings you the most joy to read. This is especially true for anything I do with gender neutral character fics (usually "character x Reader"/2nd person pieces) - I try to stay away from any specific gendered features and focus on actions and sensations which can be common to any body.

How Does This All Add Up To Body Positivity?

Simple, love - by sharing and making all of these works we are saying "these features are beautiful, we love them, we want to see more of them as we fall head over heels time and time again". It might not seem like a lot, but the mind is both powerful and very easily open to suggestion. If a person keeps seeing negative things about a feature they have (eg, as a mild example body hair on women/feminine people) they will internalise that and wish to change themselves (eg, waxing/shaving/etc). In the case of a bit of body hair that might not seem drastic, but it still changes how someone feels about themselves. At the end of the day, the more we love ourselves the easier it is to look after ourselves and be happy in the mortal flesh vessels we pilot around this terribly strange universe~ For my part, I have seen my body shape which I had struggled with shown time and time again as "wow look at this character who looks this way, they are amazing! I love this feature, and that feature, and the way the artist made sure to include this particular thing-" Every time I see that, every time I see parts of myself I struggle with being applauded and appreciated, I feel a little brighter. A little more comfortable. A little more like I am allowed to dress it up nicely and spend time and care to feel good about it. I also feel less shame for old scars, for every part of myself that has made me look at the mirror with unkind eyes. Confidence is not a single brick, it's many that need to be built carefully with the right cement. If it is chipped away at too many times, even by little self-deprecating "jokes", it will erode. It will crack. It will wear away piece by piece instead of building up. And before anyone decides to try equating weight and health, darling this is not the place. If you truly care about someone's wellbeing, leave their health to the private discussions they have with their doctors, and remember that looking after oneself is far easier from a place of loving oneself. If you care about a thing, you want to look after it. If you see a thing as already broken, you're less likely to be cautious in how you handle it.

Where does this essay end?

Well, I believe that would be here. With the endless gratitude for every creator out there bringing us mods, images, fiction, art, cosplay, content of all of these wonderful characters in every incredible variation that we can think of. I encourage those of you who are feeling lower in confidence about yourselves to really look at the fan responses to these creations - the excitement and desire for every body type, every feature, everything that we might see of ourselves and dislike there are so many people out there seeing those exact same features we have and feeling nothing but attraction, desire, love, adoration, and praise~ We are often our own worst critics, but not one of those characters would ever reject us, neither are we rejecting any of our favourites when we see them on the screen. I certainly hope to see more games bringing us this variety, and going further too. There is power in fiction and fan-works, and it is helpful to recognise it too.

Apologies if this one felt too long, rambling, or like I lost my point - it was done over 3 days and I'm rather tired~ I have other essays coming in the next few weeks too, and I really would love to hear your opinions on any of them~

As a final note - please do add your own views and experiences on the topic! I can only offer my own as a disabled white cisgender asexual/bisexual/panromantic woman with too much time on her hands~ I neither wish to ignore experiences outside of my own nor speak over them. All I can offer is what I see, what I hear, and of course my endless love to all of you~ That, my very dear darlings, is never in doubt. I love you just the way you are, because of who you are, and will see the beauty in everything that makes up the sum of your wonderful selves~

[tadfools]

You guys are commenting on the fics you read right? You’re at least leaving kudos on the Astarion smut and the pairs that have less than 20 fics for them too? You’re bookmarking stories you really like that are still being updated and ones that haven’t been touched in over a year right?

You know that even the smallest interactions are like cocaine to fic writers right? You understand how important a string of emoji hearts left behind on a chapter at three am is right?? Right????

You’re treating AO3 like a community and not a content factory….right?

[500-moths-in-a-trenchcoat]

for the new year, i have decided to make a couple edits and additions to the almighty Calendar. happy 2024.

IT JUST HAPPENS

DAY 15 GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 15

Thursday the 20th

The Fifth of Wednesday

Second Week of May: Eurovision

Sometime in June: That One Halloween Post Starts Circulating

Sometime in July: Dancing Pumpkin Man Video/Gif

WEEKLY EVENTS (at least the ones i celebrate)

Every Monday: Garfield Hates Mondays

Every Tuesday: Tom Servo Tuesday

Every Wednesday: It Is Wednesday My Dudes

Every Thursday: Out of Touch Thursday

Every Friday: Flat Fuck Friday

Every Saturday: Sea Slug Saturday

Every Sunday: Energy Sword Sunday

YEARLY EVENTS

January 1: Copyright Expiration Day

January 8: Spiders Georg Day

January 16: Appreciate a Dragon Day

January 18: Bug Race

January 29: Threshold Day

All of February: Funguary

ALSO All of February: Femslash February

February 3: WOE, VANILLA EXTRACT BE UPON YE

February 13: Galentines Day

February 14: Aromantic/Asexual Day

March 9: Miku Day

March 10: Mario Day

March 14: Pi Day

March 15: Ides of March

March 23: Ever Given Got Stuck Today

April 1: Mishapocalypse

April 2: Dashcon Announcement Anniversary

April 3: Dannypocalypse

April 8: Rex Manning Day

ALSO April 8: MARGARET THATCHER IS DEAD

April 13: Neil Banging Out The Tunes

ALSO April 13: Homestuck Day

April 20: haha 420 blaze it

April 25: The Perfect Date

April 28: Ed Balls Day

April 30: It's Gonna Be May

All of May: Mermay

May 3: Beginning of Dracula Daily

May 4: May the 4th Be With You

May 5: Revenge of the Fifth

May 25: The Glorious 25th of May

All of June: Pride Month

ALSO All of June: IT'S HALLOWEEN TIME TO GET SPOOKY

June 5: Barricade Day

ALSO June 5: RONALD REAGAN IS DEAD

June 12: Another Homestuck Day

June 16: Let Papyrus Say Fuck

June 22: Summerween

All of July: Disability Pride Month

July 11-13: Dashcon Anniversary

July 20: Moon Landing

September 8: The Queen Is Dead and Sans Undertale Killed Her

September 11: Mole Interest Monday

September 19: Talk Like A Pirate Day

September 21: DO YOU REMEMBER-

All of October: SKELETON WAR

ALSO All of October: People Draw A Lot Month? (so many names)

October 3: Mean Girls Day

ALSO October 3: Fullmetal Alchemist Day

October 13: Treat Yo' Self

October 20: Unnecessary Feelings Day

October 31: HALLOWEEN

November 5: honestly what didn't happen that day

November 19: Goncharov

November 29: HENRY KISSINGER IS DEAD

All of December: Will the Gävle Goat Get Destroyed Again?

December 10: Please, It's Christmas

December 12: Hawaii Part 2

December 23: Christmas Adam

December 24: ALMOST CHRISTMAS MEANS IT WASN'T CHRISTMAS

ALSO December 24: Cabinet Man Day

December 27: Porn Ban Effective Today

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[pxregoth]

in order for dates to be added with new locations/regions we need to join together & let dnp know that there’s a demand for their show in LATAM, Asia, & Africa !!!!! we need to continue commenting & making posts about this !! we already know dnp see our posts especially on Twitter so please do not let the phannies from LATAM, Asia, & Africa be ignored!!! they are just as important as us phannies from Europe, USA, Canada, Australia, & New Zealand !!!!!

!!!!!! WE CANNOT CLAIM TO BE AN INCLUSIVE AND LOVING COMMUNITY WHEN WE WONT EVEN DO THE BARE MINIMUM FOR OUR FELLOW PHANNIES IN OTHER REGIONS OF THE WORLD !!!!!!

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

im Not Looking at the achievements list or any other spoilers, but it has got me making mental lists instead of what the funniest things to get spoiled could be. like

Bothersome: you "Annoyed Solas" 1000 times!

Stop That: you tried to eat the magic rocks and got possessed by a titan

Veilwhoops: selecting the "maybe he has a point" option as Soals tries to open the veil results in game over when everyone dies in the resulting explosion

Dragonrider: your attempt to kiss a dragon resulted in total party death

Shopaholic: you spent all the Veilguard's gold on outfit upgrades

Illiterate: you refused to read any letters, codex entries, etc you found and only vaguely understand what's going on now

Bingo Night: you interacted most with those Old Men (Emmrich and Solas)

[enlightningbugs]

Laurent, who chose to be like his mother in every way but one Conclusive evidence

These pages were originally for @fetranshub's FE trans week in 2020. They can be taken independently, if you would like to interpret Laurent in the second page differently from the first.

Several people over the years have also told me these are some of my most memorable comics, which makes me glad.

[rickybaby]

We keep talking about media literacy, but it's actually something very difficult to put into practice in this very overcrowded F1 media ecosystem, especially for new fans. I thought it would be a good idea to put together a list of reliable sources to hopefully make this year's silly season easier to navigate.

Publications

Auto Motor und Sport (more commonly known as AMuS) - the German publication is arguably considered as the most reliable source for F1 news. Most other publications will very often quote AMuS as source.

Speedcafe.com - Australia's foremost motorsport website. Mat Coch, their F1 editor, has access to Daniel's management and was one of the first people to seek clarification from Daniel's team when the rumour that he would be replaced by Miami first cropped up.

Other reliable publications: Autosport, Motorsport, PlanetF1 (caution to be advised with PlanetF1 because very often, it just quotes sources like AMuS or tends to have a lot of clickbait articles), BBC F1.

Journalists

Chris Medland - Chris is a freelance journalist with permanent FIA accreditation. He usually writes for RACER.COM. In my opinion, he is the most reliable from the whole cohort of journalists on twitter. He may not always be the one to break a story, but if he tweets out about a rumour or story, this is pretty much confirmation that the rumour or story is true.

Nate Saunders - Nate writes for ESPN F1 and is generally considered to be the Ricciardo camp mouthpiece. However, this does not necessarily mean he is, at all times, privy to insider information from Daniel's camp. Look out for him quoting 'sources close to ...'

Thomas Maher - Thomas writes for PlanetF1 and while PlanetF1 is not the most reliable of publications, I think Thomas is a good source to follow on twitter as he is pretty good at reaching out to his sources in the paddock when it comes to seeking clarification on a rumour.

Erik Van Haren - the Dutch journalist writes for the Telegraaf. He has the reputation of being close to the Max & Jos Verstappen camp and was the first one to break the Christian Horner SH story. Therefore, anything he writes about Max or Red Bull can be more or less be relied upon.

Albert Fabrega - he is a longstanding reporter with great technical expertise and is considered as the go-to source for the Spanish/ Spanish-speaking drivers, especially Alonso. Though, caution to be exercised after the whole 'I cannot believe what I have just been told' thing he pulled last year.

Lawrence Barretto - Lawrence is a presenter for F1. He is one of my favourites in the paddock and from time to time, he will have some insider information when it comes to Daniel. He was the first one to report on Daniel's best lap at the Silverstone being good enough for the front row.

F1 Pundits

There is a whole host of characters who act as commentators or guests across a variety of international broadcasts over a race weekend (or some of them just hang around the paddock). Think Martin Brundle, Crofty, Karun Chandhok, Damon Hill, Jacques Villeneuve, David Coulthard, Eddie Jordan, Ralf Schumacher ...

Their opinions are invariably given a lot of weight by virtue of most of them being former drivers or World Champions, but fact remains that many of them have no insight into what's actually happening within a team. However, that being said, a few of them still have close relationships with some of the teams, for e.g., David Coulthard with Red Bull or Mika Hakkinen with McLaren and whatever they say about these teams could potentially be relied upon.

Caution ⚠️

Joe Saward - Joe is rather notoriously known for his Green Notebook column on his blog. The column is supposedly meant to provide titillating insider information about F1, but it more often ends up being a regurgitation of the rumours that have been floating around that week. He has more misses than hits when it comes to rumours and anything he says needs to be taken with a generous dose of skepticism.

Will Buxton - if you see Will tweet something out, please lock your phone and walk away. This is not to say Will doesn't know what's happening in the sport - after all, he was the first one to give any indication of the Lewis to Ferrari story, but he is too committed to playing the game of shit-stirrer for engagement. The unfortunate thing is, we're all too human and we all invariably for his game and we end up going into a downward spiral of 'what does he mean???' when he tweets something out...

[catwouthats]

Southerners: I can barely fucking stay alive. The system sucks.

Conservatives: omg how cute >_< This is why we are going to not do anything about your situation and instead say that more people should be like you 0w0

Southerners: Did you not hear me? I’m living paycheck to paycheck! That’s not fucking cute!!

Conservatives: Cutie >_<

Southerners: *turning to city/coast/suburb leftists* Okay, y’all have energy and time. Can you listen to me?

Privileged/white/new “leftists”: Hell no. You elected officials that are terrible, so you are a shit person too.

Southerners: But the system’s fucking broken! Voting doesn’t work! And those laws affect and hurt the people here the most!

Southerners: *turning to the (mainly) bipoc leftists of cities/coasts* Can you please talk some sense into them?

Bipoc/tired/old leftists: Well, they won’t listen to me unless it easily makes them look like a really good person. So this is gonna take a while…

[typing-catastrophe]

You see me? - part one (stanford pines x hallucination!reader)

masterlist 1k words | warnings: none --------------------------------------------------

'This is new', he thought, looking straight ahead at something that he was sure he shouldn't be able to look at.

"Can you see me?", a beat of silence, "You can, can't you?" there was caution in your voice, almost as if you wouldn't let yourself believe it. "Please say something"

Ford kept quiet.

"Say something."

Nothing.

"SAY SOMETHING!"

Ford sighed, took off his glasses and massaged the bridge of his nose. The long hours and relentless work were starting to get to him. He put his glasses back on and turned back to his desk.

"No, no! Please!" you begged, panic rising in your voice.

'Perhaps not entirely new, but certainly concerning.' He couldn't recall if Bill ever did actively made him hallucinate when he was lucid, or if everything he experienced was already in the mindscape, but either way - what was happening in this very moment felt a bit too realistic for his liking.

What was happening, broken down to its very basics, was that a stranger stood in his study. And they simply had no way to be there. Apart from the fact that it was the middle of the night and the shack was closed, the way to his study was hidden and he did not hear the elevator move or open its doors. No one except for him should and could be here. No one was here when he came down here hours ago. There was no place they could've hidden. There was no possible scenario in which the situation at hand could've taken place. So the only option left, in his blurry mind, was that the last 30 to 40 years finally caught up to him and he was going insane.

At that moment he didn't even consider a paranormal explanation. Maybe because he believed the shack was sufficiently secured against all kinds of anomalies and supernatural occurrences. Or maybe because in the back of his mind, he always did ask himself when the time would finally come when his mind simply... snapped.

Years and years of stress, mind fuckery, all kinds of injuries and multiverse jumps must've left their mark on his psyche in some way after all.

But what did surprise him was the... well, normality of it. It was just a person. It would've made more sense to see Bill or any of the other things he saw in his frequent nightmares. Maybe the more severe ones would come later?

He propped open the new journal he had started recently and poured his thoughts onto the paper.

-

You could only watch in confusion and hurt when the man turned away and got back to whatever the hell it was he was doing all the time.

What had just happened? When he looked up from his work, his eyes landed on you. He didn't look through you like every other time and everyone else. This time was different! But why did he act like it wasn't? What was he doing? Why was he ignoring you?

Your newfound hope left you as abrupt as it had appeared. You felt so impossibly lonely again. Empty, distant, cold. Ever so cold with no source for the freezing feeling that seeped deep into your bones.

He could see you. You knew it.

This wasn't like the times when you were screaming and crying and pleading for him - for anyone - to hear you.

He. could. see. you.

And you knew it.

-

For a good minute, Ford stared straight ahead at the blank page. He desperately tried to form a coherent thought he could write down, but when he tried to get a hold of them, it felt like his metaphorical hands moved through fog, swirling eerie patterns into it, but never grasping anything solid.

The urge to let his head sink onto the table got stronger by the second, yet he resisted. He squeezed his eyes shut, took a deep inhale and straightened his back. He got this. He didn't need to sleep, not yet.

He stood up and stretched his arms over his head, stifling a yawn while doing so.

"Why are you ignoring me?" You had sat down on the floor a respectful distance away from him, legs pulled close to your chest, arms hugged tightly around them. Now you looked up at him with genuine hurt in your eyes.

You didn't know this man, and he didn't know you. The only circumstance that justified the sharp pang in your chest was the fact that he was the only one around actually being able to perceive you, yet for a reason unbeknownst to you, acted like he wasn't.

'Still there, hm?' he thought. He had hoped shifting his focus onto something else would help, but apparently, it did not. The figure was still present, still talking to him. He would like to take a proper look at it, but he was afraid that engaging with it would make the whole thing worse. You were not doing anything at the moment, and he'd rather keep it that way.

He yawned again, cursing himself for indulging in the weakness of his own body. It felt like it was betraying him, lulling him in and tempting him to lay down. But he knew what would inevitably follow. The pain, the torture, the guilt. He could not let that happen. Bill would not claim any more of his time and thought than absolutely necessary. He would not willingly leap into the open arms of whatever terror was already waiting for him.

"You should go to sleep. It's late. And you look tired." Ford almost scoffed at that.

All he needed was some good old, reliable coffee and he was as good as new. So he went upstairs, grabbed a new mug to set down next to all the other mugs on his desk and workbench, filled it to the brim with the dark, hot liquid and made his way underground again.

He was relieved to see that his hallucination apparently showed no interest in following him upstairs, but he was just as disappointed to see that it was still sitting in the same spot when he returned. He sat the mug down and with a defeated sigh lowered himself onto his chair.

It was going to be a long night.

-------------------------------------------------- thank you for reading <3 reblogs are appreciated masterlist a/n: holy shit i did it! i found the time, energy and motivation yaayy @cynamon-ancymon thought this might interest you ^^ if not just let me know and i remove the tag

[thatswhatsushesaid]

i think fandom spaces would become much more enjoyable across the board if people stopped flipping their pancakes over other fans enjoying characters that they don't like. or, god forbid, like them but in 'the wrong way.'

[zuzu-draws]

Heian Era! Sukuna, back when he was a human Curse-Sorcerer ; If Gege won't give him to us, I will =_=

[decarath-s]

Listen ofc all of the Unreal Unearth songs are amazing because it's Hozier we're talking about but holy fuck-

Personally the song in this album that smacked me across the face at first was Abstract (Psychopomp), and I can't believe more people are not going feral over it like I am, look-

H U H

I saw you perform this ultimately fruitless yet incredibly significant, humane and selfless act of kindness. You put your own life at risk for something others would have considered "too small". I saw you run into moving traffic, stain your own hands, just to offer a little comfort to this poor animal in its dying moments. I was terrified, I knew I had no choice but to love you.

[batbabydamian]

Hey, I started reading Robin son of Batman because of your recommendation (I literally have a print of your post on my phone to not forget lol). Honestly? One of the best things I ever read!!!

Thank you for opening my eyes! Damian has been one of my favorite characters for over a year, but I didn't read/watch much of him because of school, life (and probably an executive dysfunction in the mix).

Maya is incredible. I loved her.

I haven't finished all the issues yet, but do you have any other recommendations?

WAH this makes me so happy, i'm glad you still gave it a shot even with how busy life is!! ;v;

i’d love to give reccs, and i’ll try to go a beginner friendly route! tbh you can pick up whatever here, but since you've read R:SOB i’d immediately follow up with Batman and Robin (2011) #1-8! this first arc is what’s referred to in Maya’s introduction, and it's just. so good.

Main Books

Batman and Robin (2009)

Dick as Batman with Damian as his Robin!

#20-22 Tree of Blood: Dark Knight vs White Knight arc is done by Tomasi and Gleason, the team for the next Batman and Robin series

*Batman and Robin (2011)

Bruce and Damian figuring out their relationship as both Batman & Robin and father & son

imo you can enjoy the ride and read straight through this but i’ll add context to avoid as much confusion as possible since there’s the occasional tie-in or offscreen events, like Damian’s death nbd

Batman Incorporated (2012) #1-10

events leading to Damian's death - affects Batman and Robin (2011) from issue #18

kind of a tough read especially with how Talia's written, but a lot of iconic bits like Batcow, Damian's vegetarian declaration, Alfred the cat, "We Were the Best, Richard."

Robin (2021)

another self-discovery adventure, particularly after Alfred’s death and a fallout with Bruce (and questionable writing choices from his last Teen Titans run)

Batman and Robin (2023)

currently ongoing! after a number of events, Bruce and Damian are back as a duo

Damian Dynamics!

Batman: Streets of Gotham (2009) #7, 10-12

arc where Damian meets one of his first Gotham friends, Colin Wilkes

Batgirl (2009) #5-7, #17

Steph and Damian dynamic! "the bad cop, worse cop" dysfunctional duo

Red Robin (2009) #13-14

early Tim and Damian dynamic that of course includes fighting haha. funny enough, accidentally my first intro to Damian LOL

Teen Titans (2003) #89-92

Dick!Batman has Damian join the Teen Titans. Start of Damian and Rose Wilson dynamic that’s extended in Robin (2021)

Batman: Gates of Gotham (2011)

Damian meets Cass and has a brief team up

Gotham Academy (2015) #7

Damian meets Maps Mizoguchi! they have a few other meetings, but outside of that the series itself is a great read!

Robin War Event (2015)

Robin War (2015) #1, Grayson (2014) #15, Detective Comics (2011) #47, We Are Robin (2015) #7, Robin: Son of Batman (2015) #7, Robin War (2015) #2

Duke and Damian dynamic! not exactly beginner friendly but these are the main issues in order for the event! you can also read the TPB version for everything including Tie-Ins

Nightwing (2016) #16-20, #42, #43

#16-20 Nightwing and Robin arc!

#42 Dick on a mission to save Damian! the one appearance of "Wiggles" the dragon

#43 Dick, Roy, and Damian team-up

New Talent Showcase 2018 "Catwoman: Pedigree"

Selina, Damian, and Alfred the cat

Batman: Prelude to the Wedding - Robin vs. Ra's Al Ghul (2018)

Selina, Damian, and Cheese Viking - Damian's fav game shown in Nightwing: Rebirth (2016)

Monkey Prince (2022) #1-4

Marcus Sun Shugel-Shen's main comic, but Damian features as a fun dynamic here before they're in more serious circumstances in Batman VS Robin (2022)/Lazarus Planet event

Superman (2016) #10 - 11

the beginning of the Super Sons! featuring Maya!

Super Sons (2017)

solitary arcs but there’s a few event tie-in issues later

Adventures of the Super Sons (2018)

literally more Super Sons adventures lol galactic shenanigans yeehaw

Challenge of the Super Sons (2020) 

Super Sons time shenanigans feat. the Justice League

Robin 80th Anniversary (2020)

"Boy Wonders" - brief Damian feature as Tim considers his next step in life

"My Best Friend" - Jon's thoughts on Damian and their dynamic

"Bat and Mouse" - refers to Damian's unfortunate Teen Titans (2016) run at the time of release which follows up with Teen Titans Annual #2 where Damian briefly gives up Robin

Extra Comics!

Superman/Batman (2003) #77

Kara and Damian in a Halloween team-up! also the appearance of "Li'l Matches" lol

DCU Halloween Special '09 "Cavity Search"

Damian out on a solo mission for Halloween night. Immediately after is Tim's Red Robin story "Then and Now: Our Father's Sins" which is more somber in contrast but also a good read!

DCU Halloween Special 2010 "Robin the Vampire Slayer"

a Dick!Batman and Robin story featuring the vampire Andrew Bennett

Cursed Comics Cavalcade (2018) "The Devil You Know"

Halloween themed comic with a sweet short story of Damian alongside Solomon Grundy

DC's Terrors Through Time (2022)

"Trick or Treat" a Super Sons Halloween story

"The Haunting of Wayne Manor" Damian and Deadman story - in the end, Boston kinda refers to Nezha's possession of Damian in Batman VS Robin (2022) which was happening at the time of this release

Batman: Li'l Gotham (2013)

lighthearted series that instantly makes me smile with the silliness and Dustin Nguyen’s art i love this dearly

Secret Origins (2014) #4 "A Boy's Life"

a retelling of Damian's origin story

Detective Comics (2016) #1001-1005

Batman and Robin vs the Arkham Knight (unrelated to the game)

Truth & Justice (2021) #6/#16 - 18 Digital First version

cute story of Damian’s birthday! Juni Ba’s art is so fun!!

DC Festival of Heroes: The Asian Superhero Celebration (2021) “Special Delivery”

short story about Damian! and poisoned pizzas. completely forgot the artist Sami Basri drew Rebirth Damian here before catboy Damian lol Cass’s story “Sounds” is also cute! Marcus makes his first appearance in "The Monkey Prince Hates Superheroes"

DC VS Vampires (2021)

Damian makes appearances throughout this elseworlds book, but the one-shot DC VS Vampires: Hunters (2022) is vampire Damian-centric!

Batman: Black and White (2021) #5

“Father & Son Outing” short story written and drawn by Jorge Jimenez!

Batman: Urban Legends (2021) #20-23

#20 “My Son” Talia and Bruce focus

#20 - 23 “The Murder Club” 4 Parts

Tiny Titans (2008) #33, #39, #45, #47

a few appearances but SO CUTE, LOOK AT HIM

*Batman and Robin (2011) reading guide

i'm mostly trying to avoid the "what did i just walk in on?" kinda feeling when i first started reading comics LOL i'll list the comics where events take place, but you don't necessarily have to read them to go through this book since things are usually explained as quickly as possible in the first page or so

#0 Someday Never Comes

Talia and baby Damian before he grows up to meet Bruce

#1-8 Born to Kill

just an incredibly solid arc for Bruce and Damian!

#9 Court of Owls Tie-In Issue

Damian VS a Court of Owls Talon. While Bruce is occupied with a home invasion of Talons, Alfred makes a call for allies to protect targeted Gotham public figures from Talons. During Batman (2011) #1-11

#10-12 Terminus

Damian challenges the previous Robins sans Steph

Batman Incorporated (2012) is occurring at this time where Talia has placed a bounty on Damian and there's small mentions of that

#13-14 Eclipsed/Devoured

mostly solitary arc! end of it leads into the Death of the Family event

#15-16 Death of the Family Tie-In Issues

Damian and Joker face-off... Alfred's been kidnapped by the Joker, and Damian goes looking for him. During Batman (2011) #13-17

#17 Life is but a Dream - Death of the Family Epilogue

a sort of subconscious check-in through the dreams of Damian, Alfred, and Bruce. Nightwing (2011) #17 features Damian encouraging Dick after Death of the Family events

#18 Undone "Requiem"

Bruce dealing with Damian's death from Batman Incorporated #8

other reactions to Damian's death: Dick in Nightwing (2011) #18, Tim in Teen Titans (2011) #18

#19-23 Denial, Rage, The Bargain, Despair, Acceptance

Bruce through the stages of grief with some batfam appearances in each. also introduces Carrie Kelley into continuity as Damian's acting tutor.

Batman (2011) #19-20 also addresses Bruce's loss

#23.1-23.4

these could be skipped - villain stories, also related to Forever Evil event.

#24-28 The Big Burn

optional Batman and Two-Face/Harvey Dent arc, #23.1 is part of this story!

Damian's resurrection and return

#29-32 The Hunt for Robin

Ras took Talia and Damian's bodies from their graves, and Bruce goes after him.

-> Robin Rises: Omega

continues events from #32. if you don't want to jump to this, basically, Glorious Godfrey and a bunch of parademons from Apokolips are here for a chaos shard which Ra's put in Damian's sarcophagus. at some point, Bruce gets a hold of the shard where he sees a vision that leads him to believe Damian can be resurrected. Godfrey ends up taking the shard, along with Damian's body since it was emitting the same energy.

#33-37 Robin Rises

Bruce hellbent on retrieving Damian from Apokolips and reviving him

-> Robin Rises: Alpha

necessary to read and continues events from #37! Damian's back with a bang lol

#38-40 Superpower

Damian adjusting to having superpowers and being alive again

Annual #1 2013 Batman Impossible

sweet (and funny) one-shot of Damian sending Bruce on a meaningful scavenger hunt around the world while Damian gets to be the cutest Batman for a bit

Annual #2 2014 Batman and Robin: Week One

one-shot takes place during Damian's absence. after Bruce and Alfred find a mystery gift left for Dick, Dick recounts a story he had told Damian from his Robin days.

Annual #3 2015 Moonshot

one-shot Batman and Robin adventure on the moon!

...and of course after Batman and Robin (2011), Damian's story continues in his first solo Robin: Son of Batman (2015)!

[patrochillesvibes]

Classics Fandom Wall of Shame

All I want to do is to enjoy Patroclus x Achilles content. To ship one of the oldest ships of known history. But people just gotta be bigots about it.

Anyways, here's my wall of shame of human garbage in no particular order:

@thehelplessmortals - Racist

this post

@margaretkart - Racist

this post

@alatismeni-theitsa - Racist

this post

[royalarchivist]

With over 20 members currently on the QSMP and more on the way, it's almost impossible for a single person to stay up to date on everything that happens, even with help from QSMP's official Twitter recap accounts.

For people who are interested in QSMP's story, characters, and/or streamers but don't have time to watch hundreds of hours worth of VODs, I've created the QSMP VOD Timestamp Archive.

If there's a particular lore moment you missed live and can't find, search for it in the archive!

Timestamps include quotes, notable lore events, and funny interactions. Interesting or important moments from each stream are bolded for emphasis. I'm also adding short summaries for lore-heavy / eventful stream.

I've organized the document so it should be easy to navigate, and you can CTRL + F to search for specific streamers and/or events.

Complete VOD playlists, recaps, and additional resources are also included in the document for people who might be feeling overwhelmed by the amount of QSMP content out there. It's never too late to get into the series!

If you have a streamer you watch consistently, consider writing down important timestamps to help fellow fans! You don’t have to take detailed notes like mine – even one or two timestamps can be a real lifesaver. If you have any helpful timestamps you want added to the list (or even a 1 sentence summary of a particular stream), send it to me via DM so I can add it to the archive.

I am just one person, so unfortunately this archive is by no means comprehensive, but I'm constantly updating things and adding more streams and timestamps to the document. I've been working on this project for a while now, so even though it's not complete, I hope people find it useful!

[ VOD Timestamp Archive ]