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popcornforone · 1 month ago

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Two faced

A Max Lord Fic

Day 19 of Pedrotober (SDCC Prompt)

Masterlist

If I’m honest when I write the first fic a month ago today, I was like I can do this, & then I realised how much I’d need to write & I was like there’s no way I’ll get to 19, but here we are. So I though sending a DC villain (he’s not though) to comic con would be cool.

Synopsis:- you’ve put effort into your SDCC outfit, Max not so much.

Word count:- 950

Warnings over & above:- promise of oral, descriptive nature, swearing. Shower pleasure.Other than that this is rather tame.

Thanks for the read peoples. I’m genuinely blow away by your likes & shares over the month so far & it’s all down to @alyssamariag & @norththelemon prompt list.

“Babes a little help please” you shout as you come out of the bathroom. “I need this to be zipped up so I can properly go to comic con as Hela from Thor Ragnarok.” Youd spent months & 3 pay cheques on this outfit. That’s even before the price of the tickets & the hotel you are staying in. He booked the hotel, said it would be his treat. You’d been to the gym to make sure you were as trim as possible. You’d even died your hair black & brought an expensive straightener. You were gonna look the part. Your head piece was lying on the bed so you could have the horns.

“Coming sweetie” you hear not looking in his direction. You hold your breath as he zips up the leather from behind you. “You gotta breathe my love otherwise this is gonna keep popping open all day” he says & you sigh & breathe out. He’s right. You might look extrodinary but if that’s the case, what good is it if you pass out. You let it go & suddenly the zip on your outfit doesn’t feel so bad. It fits perfectly.

“Thanks baby” your turn around to smile but then your in shock. “What are you wearing?” Because you had been so preoccupied with your outfit you hadn’t even double checked his. Your disappointed face says it all.

“I’m Harvey Dent” you laugh & shake your head at Maxs answer. “what?”

“Max baby” you sit on the bed as you laugh. “That’s not Harvey Dent, you’ve just picked out your most mob style suit & brushed your hair back. You’ve come as yourself. People are going to think you’ve come to comic con cosplaying as Max Lord business man of the year, not Harvey Dent”

“But I look good…”

“… but it can be better” you say his catchphrase back to him & then lean across the bed & grab your make up pallet.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing” he shrieks as you grab a sponge to start applying some red make up.

“Max trust me”

“I do but”

“No if no buts, do this for me & I’ll give you a blow job every night for the next week” you are not a fan of going down stairs. For special occasions you do it for Max. You see him lick his lips. He loves having the ultimate power over you. Watching your head bob as you take him fully into your mouth. He lets out a little moan just thinking about it.

“Morning, evening?”

“Whenever, please Max,let me make you look the part” he sighs, his mind however is already thinking of how good your mouth will feel on his length.

“Okay” he mumbles & closes his eyes as you start to work your make up magic.

Everyone loved your Hela outfit & everyone really thought Maxs make up was cool at comic con. He did get a few people stop him to ask who he had come from, when he was just side profile without the make up.

“See, ive made my point” you say after the 6th person asks him.

“Okay okay you were right” he says as he leads you into a huge hall & you walk past lots of people, to find your seats in the 3rd row.

“Max why are we here”you say. You had no idea he had got to you hall tickets for a presentation.

“You’ll see” he says as you both sit down. You take your head piece off, it’s not fair on those in the rows behind that their view would be ruined by that’s. They paid for this experience too.

After a few moments the lights go off & up it pops in the screen.

“Holy shit this is hall H isnt it?” You start to shake knowing what it means.

“Yes baby”

You scream in delight, you’re here for the MCU presentation. You don’t care if it ruins yours or his make up you give Max a huge kiss on the cheek.

“How did you sort this out”

“I have my ways” he winks.

Out everyone comes for all the very different film presentations & news, leaving in your opinion the best til last.

“WE LOVE YOU PEDRO!!!!” You stand up & shout along with most of the room as Pedro Pascal is finally revealed as Mr Fantastic, your life complete, this is even more of a big deal in your opinion than Robert coming back to be Doctor Doom. You scream until you run out of air & the scream some more. Max looks up at you, wondering why he’s in love with this crazy woman, but that’s completely why. He loves your obsessions, & love of pop culture & nerdiness. You match his freak & he wouldn’t have it any other way.

You eventually get back to the hotel room after a long day & both flop on the bed & sigh completely spent.

“Ready to do that all again tomorrow Max”

“You betcha” he says. & you giggle.

“Can you help me out of this costume with the zip baby”

“Been waiting for you to say that all day” he says as he slowly unzips it & then starts kissing your bear back as you wriggle out of your costume. “I think we both need a shower to get clean & sort ourselves out”

“You’re right” you reply. “Let’s get all hot & steamy shall we”

“Yes baby”

“& I promise to live up to my promise straight away” he growls as you say that & then leads you to the bathroom. The only noise other than the water filling the air is when he screams as he spills down your throat.

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zer0expektation · 2 years ago

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Gotham characters & their respective disorders/neurodivergencies (canon and headcanon) (& whether or not they'd actually qualify for an insanity plea based on this):

First and foremost: Insanity is a legal term, not a medical one. For this particular post we will determine based on the M'Naghten rule and the Irrisitible Impulse test.

"The "M'Naghten rule" was a standard to be applied by the jury, after hearing medical testimony from prosecution and defense experts. The rule created a presumption of sanity unless the defense proved "at the time of committing the act, the accused was laboring under such a defect of reason, from disease of the mind, as not to know the nature and quality of the act he was doing or, if he did know it, that he did not know what he was doing was wrong."" "The test is bifurcated into two components, (...). First, a defendant is deemed insane if they were incapable of knowing what they were doing at the time committing the object offense." - "The second component of the test looks to determine if the defendant knew that his or her actions were wrong. Here, even if the defendant knew what he or she was doing, he or she is deemed insane where he or she was incapable of recognizing the wrongfulness of the action committed." "Under the "Irresistible Impulse" test a jury may find a defendant not guilty by reason of insanity where the defendant was laboring under a mental disease or defect that compelled him to commit the object offense." Link

tldr / an easier way to digest: our determining factors will be;

whether or not a character would be "in control" during the time of the crime (if they weren't mentally present, or believed something else entirely was happening because of delusion or psychosis) - ex. Humpty Dumpty (in DC)

whether or not a character would be able to determine the morality of their actions during the time of the crime (ie. they believe they had to/had no other choice because of delusion (believing God is telling them that they have to kill someone) or think that they were "saving" someone(s)/themselves) - ex. (some versions of) Poison Ivy and her belief that the world would be better off without humankind

whether or not they could control a compulsion that would be of cause - ex. Victor Zsasz's compulsion to add more tally marks and thus needing to kill more & having to kill someone if a tally is "incorrectly"/"wrongfully" added (at least in his depictions in both the Arkham games & the Telltale games)

(Please keep in mind that I am not qualified to properly "diagnose" these characters nor am I in any way trained to know anything about actual prosecution laws, I just think the insanity defense & psychology as a whole are interesting.)

Anyways, with all of that in mind:

Bruce Wayne:

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (headcanon)

Autism spectrum disorder (headcanon)

Post-traumatic stress disorder (headcanon)

Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (semi-canon - it was mentioned that he had some sort of ED through most of s1, which, esp with his autism, would have affected his eating habits for a time)

Five (514-A):

Dyscalculia (headcanon - idk why I just think it makes sense (i also didnt even think about this when deciding, but it really makes his name all that much more tragic lmao))

Selina Kyle:

Willis-Ekbom disorder (aka restless legs syndrome) (headcanon - particularly post-paralysis)

Jim Gordon:

Generalized anxiety disorder (headcanon - I just think the constant itch to be chasing something and "stopping the bad guys" could be related to a near-constant anxiety of not doing enough)

Harvey Bullock:

Alcoholism (canon I think?)

Oswald Cobblepot:

Borderline personality disorder (not canon, but iirc Robin has said that he likes the hc)

Realistically would not qualify for an insanity plea - is known for being manipulative and driven by his need for power, and despite being rather impulsive can be relatively predictable and reasoned with - might be able to get an insanity plea anyway seasons 2-4 if not solely because of his power and the corruption in Gotham (but probably on a more real basis in s4 more because he would probably be unshakeable in the insistence that Martin was actually alive despite several witnesses stating that he killed him)

Edward Nygma:

Autistic spectrum disorder (canon)

Otherwise specified dissociative disorder/psychosis (semi-canon - hc osdd type 1)

Substance-induced psychosis (canon - s3 e15)

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (usually canon for all versions of the Riddler, but I'm not sure if it's actually canon for Gotham specifically) (+ ocd and autism tend to be comorbid)

Narcissistic personality disorder (semi-canon?)

Dermatillomania (compulsive picking at your own skin) (headcanon - no real reason outside of the fact that I'm autistic (and might have ocd?) and I have this & I like to project onto Ed)

Realistically could qualify for an insanity plea - if he played his cards right / could prove that he was dissociated when committing the crime - probably less likely to get it in s2, but still could if he tried

Butch Gilzean:

Bipolar disorder (canon - hc BP-II (he experiences hypomania rather than mania))

Dissociative fugue (headcanon - particularly after his death)

Realistically would (probably) not qualify for an insanity plea - the only way he could is if hes charged for something from while he was Grundy (he'd really have to play his cards right & get a good lawyer)

Barbara Kean:

Bipolar disorder I (headcanon - overall I think the way she is isn't because of her bipolar, rather that she acts like that because its more freeing and fun - instead during some plot lines (end of s1 & her death and being revived by Ra's and her entire arc post Ra's's death) could be broken down between depressive episodes and manic episodes quite easily)

Realistically would not qualify for an insanity plea

Ivy Pepper:

Depersonalisation disorder (headcanon - I just think that the rapid aging thing in s2 & all of the shit that happened with her parents)

Autism spectrum disorder (headcanon - her being described as "creepy" or unnerving throughout s1, her special interest in plants, her everything in s3)

Realistically would not qualify for an insanity plea

Victor Zsasz:

Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (headcanon - i think though in this version his tallies exist as less of a compulsive need, and instead as a self-reminder and physical proof that he can fulfill as promised)

Realistically would not qualify for an insanity plea

Jonathan Crane:

Psychosis (canon)

Panic disorder (headcanon? - i mean it just kind of makes sense esp for this version of the character)

Epilepsy (headcanon)

Realistically would (probably) not qualify for an insanity plea

Bridgit Pike:

Pyromania (canon)

Realistically would not qualify for an insanity plea - unless arrested quite quickly post-Indian Hill

Jerome Valeska:

Trichotillomania (compulsive hair-pulling) (headcanon)

Dermatillomania (compulsive skin-picking) (headcanon)

Histrionic personality disorder (headcanon)

Night terrors (headcanon - particularly when he was a kid, then they came back after he was revived)

Realistically would not qualify for an insanity plea - could still get it for plot reasons as a "not" Joker character

Jeremiah Valeska:

Exploding head syndrome (headcanon)

Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (headcanon)

Antisocial personality disorder (semi-canon i think? - im pretty sure in the show he just says that he's "always been insane" or some shit, but that's not really a thing soo)

Realistically would not qualify for an insanity plea - shown to be far too calculating - could still get it for plot reasons as a "not" Joker character

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signalwatch · 1 year ago

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Bat Watch: The Dark Knight (2008) Watched: 09/18/2023 Format: Drafthouse Viewing: Unknown Director: Nolan SimonUK and I attended a 15th Anniversary screening of The Dark Knight, arguably one of two films that set superhero movies on their current trajectory from 2008 (Iron Man being the other), as DC and Marvel made their way from "huh, superheroes are a fun novelty" to "please stop it with the superheroes". It has been years and years since I've returned to The Dark Knight (see what I did there?!), and there's a lot of water under the bridge. But it's also a movie I saw so many times between 2008 and 2012 or so that I also have a hard time just slipping back into the movie. It still has the wildly confusing discussion at the end, that does, in fact, make sense if you squint and go along with the premise of what will, in fact, sway Gothamites to stand with law and order. But it's arguable the film needed to be more clear in the moment. Clearly, Nolan's capable of that messaging - because he really, really sticks the landing on "actually, people aren't murderous trash, Joker, you dick." But that last scene really scrambles on the whole "Batman went on a murderous rampage, not Harvey" bit so that they make Harvey the symbol of justice as a martyred hero. It's an odd bit of legacy that the Joker is seen as a "mad dog chasing a car". He's clearly not that at all in this movie, but we take what people say in movies at face value instead of literally all of the evidence piling up. He says he's no schemer, but he intentionally gets arrested and sews a bomb into someone's stomach so he can get to the guy in the holding cell in the middle of police headquarters. I mean, that's... wildly more interesting than Jared Leto's dipshit with the face tattoos. But, man, is some of the dialog in this movie clunky. It's people speaking in trailer quotes and ensuring that their reason for existing as part of this iconography is clearly understood. Some of it works, but, you have to let yourself sink into the fact that this is a modern myth and not someone's attempt at realism. We're conveying *ideas* here, not worrying about Batman's inner-life. Also - man, does the Batmask not work. I don't know who decided it's essentially a fake nose, but it is. And in close-up, it looks insane and makes Bale's very normal mouth look very not normal. Paired with the Bat-voice, it's a lot. "maybe I don't want to breathe through my nose..." Despite all this, Ledger's performance is one for the ages. That's not news. I should really watch that Joaquin Phoenix movie sometime, because I expected it might suffer by comparison, but apparently did not. Who knew this guy would become Oscar bait? Boner. heh. Anyway, I still like the movie. It's not aged into a curiosity quite yet, and it still has massive impact on superhero cinema. If you look at the myth-building and argument of ethical models as the story, I'm not sure it's been topped. After all, we're still crawling out from the DCEU that was formed in its image and from a WB who learned all the wrong lessons from this movie's success. But it also was part of that 2008 one-two punch for a reason. All that said, I do hope the new Batman movie series and whatever happens with Bats in the Gunn-driven DCU work out. I'm still blown away we got what we got out of these films. And I am sure in a few years I'll be back here defending The Dark Knight Rises. https://ift.tt/IAf2Ctr via The Signal Watch https://ift.tt/uvlzqEH September 18, 2023 at 07:33PM

#The Signal Watch #Bat Watch: The Dark Knight (2008)

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esonetwork · 2 years ago

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The Earth Station DCU Episode 329 – Gotham Knights

New Post has been published on https://esonetwork.com/the-earth-station-dcu-episode-329-gotham-knights/

The Earth Station DCU Episode 329 – Gotham Knights

This Week on Earth Station DCU! Drew Leiter and Cletus Jacobs review the Gotham Knights Premiere. The Manhunter continues to hunt the Green Team, while Starman and Warlord attempt their plan to resurrect Good Lucks. Orion uses his galactic GPS to find Earth in Danger Street #4. A Justice League mission causes Superman to become lost in time taking him twenty years to come home in Superman: Lost #1. Selina completes her mission to break into the Batcave, but Harvey follows her with an army in Catwoman: Lonely City #3. Huntress travels back into the past in search of Dr. Fate to help her stop Degaton from killing her JSA in the future in Justice Society of America #3. Stephanie and Cass take on the Mad Matter when they are invited to a tea party in Batgirls #16. Diana goes to Olympus to make peace with Hera in Lazarus Planet: Revenge of the Gods #1. All this plus, DC News, DC TV, Shout Outs, and much, much more!

————————

Table of Contents

0:00:00 Show Open

0:01:15 DC News

0:20:28 Danger Street #4

0:27:50 Superman: Lost #1

0:33:56 Catwoman: Lonely City #3

0:42:13 Justice Society of America #3

0:47:02 Batgirls #16

0:57:08 Lazarus Planet: Revenge of the Gods #1

1:06:05 The Flash S9 Ep7 – Wildest Dreams

1:17:20 Superman & Lois S3 Ep2 – Uncontrollable Forces

1:29:48 Gotham Knights S1 Ep1 – Pilot

1:47:04 Show Close

Links

Danger Street #4

Superman: Lost #1

Catwoman: Lonely City #3

Justice Society of America #3

Batgirls #16

Lazarus Planet: Revenge of the Gods #1

Batman Family (1975-1978) #6 (Cletus’s Read More Comics Pick)

Earth Station One Tales of the Station

Earth Station One Tales of the Station Vol. 2

The Chameleon Chronicles: Colors of Fate

The Chameleon Chronicles: Sisters of the Thorn

If you would like to leave feedback, comment on the show, or would like us to give you a shout out, please call the ESDCU feedback line at (317) 564-9133 (remember long distance charges may apply) or feel free to email us @ [email protected]

#Batgirls #Catwoman Lonely City #Cletus Jacobs #Danger Street #Drew Leiter #Earth Station DCU #ESO Network #Gotham Knights #justice society of america #Lazarus Planet #Revenge of the Gods #Superman & Lois #Superman Lost #The Flash

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strangestcase · 4 years ago

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I know it’s weird but I want to get this off my chest: Batman media featuring Two-face in it would GREATLY benefit from writing Harv/Two-face as a person with like... a personality of his own that BECOMES evil rather than a 2spooky4me ableist evil alter trope... not only you’d get rid of the sometimes overbearing ableism surrounding Harvey Dent (which is even more obvious than like most other rogues) but also you’d have a whole new character to explore.

like as much of a jerk big bad Harv can be And as amoral or cruel he can be as a villain, saying -as most versions of Batman do- “oh he popped out being Evil and incapable of doing good things lmao” is VERY yucky not to mention it’s barring literally half of one of the the best supervillains ever made from any sort of agency or character development (both positive and negative). for way too long my favorite villain has been written as a super gross stereotype and surprise surprise , stereotypes not only are offensive but also make your writing shitty as fuck. Harv deserves to *become* a villain and not just be born as on AND then it should be handled naturally, not as something that Feels “bound” to happen (the only mainstream Batman media i know of that has given Harv negative character development was the animated series and even then they framed him as an absolute obtuse asshole from the beginning which careened a BIT too much onto the evil alter trope. the judge is another can of worms and frankly I don’t know enough about did and prosecutor alters to really get into the intrincacies of it)

and before someone comes to me all like “well REALISTICALLY it COULD happen you know, alters can be criminals—“ fuck off this is about an ableist way of writing plurality and systems altogether. systems have been portrayed in the media as inherently bound to snap and have this one serial killer around and it’s about fucking time someone handled it graciously.

Oh and the fucking scarring, that’s also an issue. Don’t get me wrong I love Twoface and I find him an interesting character but as He’s been built on ableist tropes, the least thing DC could do is to treat him with bare respect. like you can keep the key elements of his backstory and themes but PLEASE only if you are not going to be a douchebag about plurality/compulsions/facial diversity which I assure you is easier than it looks AND adds a lot to your writing because for once you’re not relying on dangerous tropes

basically? Harvey dent would be so much better if his ordeal wasn’t so centered on “DID is the bad guy” and if the subsequent scarring and splitting angst was handled respectfully + with research

TLDR: Batman should just stop playing the evil alter card with Two-face and make all of harvey’s alters involved go through negative character development if they wanna Keep the plurality element— because nobody, WHICH SHOULD GO WITHOUT SAYING, is born pure evil and wanting to like blow up a building.

#long post #ableism #writing #Batman #two face #harvey dent #batman villains #Gotham Rogues

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hopefulstarfire · 4 years ago

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Here you go friends have a list of shit I would love to see happen in Batfam comics and would do in a heartbeat if DC let me write for them, but won't, because they're cowards.

An entire storyline that's essentially Riddler and Cluemaster just constantly trying to outdo each other in terms of riddles and questions and it's just to see who's the best at it and the Batfam is having to exercise a lot of their detective skills and self restraint to just. Make them stop. Or wait it out until they tire themselves out.

Bruce visiting Harvey in Arkham often and being there for his boyfriend best friend.

Harvey breaking out of Arkham solely because Bruce is trying to avoid their college reunion so he busted himself out so he could pick up Bruce with some flowers like "Nope, you're not worming you're way out of it, I literally busted myself out because you're spending too much time at home. Come on, I'll buy you dinner afterwards."

Harley gets to petsit all the batfamily pets and she organizes them to help her go fuck over this one asshole who's trying to kill her. They all go to the park afterwords with like the pupcup kinda ice cream things you get for all of them. Goliath included.

Damian getting to go to his first school dance -- which, he claims he's trying to do an investigation into something and the rest of the family is trying to get him to relax and be a kid. And all of his siblings just decide to be super extra and get all the pictures of him and his date, who's JUST A FRIEND, and be like "oh have him home by 9, alright, don't you kids have too much fun!"

Turns out his investigation was well warranted and somebody summoned a legion of the undead to invade the school dance so they could go steal something vital from Gotham Academy. Or it was some kids who got bored and found an actual working like necronomicon or some shit. Either works.

I saw Stephanie, Barbara, Helena, Dinah and Cass playing d&d together. I need more of that with the Batfamily and its used to show like a lot of family dynamics and kinda hit hard with some truths for them.

Jason and Dick go undercover at a theater company to investigate probably a series of jewel heists or something of the sorts. Dick is mostly focused on investigating. Jason has taken over the play the troupe is putting on and is determined to make it the best play ever, and will shoot the jewel thief in the shins if they even think about ruining opening night.

Bruce sitting in a superhero parent support group bc Alfred said it would help him vent about his stress and maybe get some tips on how to help his kids.

Alfred in a Home Alone situation and absolutely ruining the day of any villain that comes into the manor.

This one is stupid but Tim and Damian being stuck in a get along sweater for an entire mission and having to learn how to fight in it.

Movie night commentary from the entire peanut gallery that is the batfam and Bruce just sitting there like "guys please just watch the damn movie."

All of the batkids organizing a big roadtrip when Duke joins the family so they can get to know their new brother. Lots of siblimg bonding and hijinks ensue.

More to come as I think of them!

#dc #dc comics #batfam #batman

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gaming-thoughts-by-an-idiot · 3 years ago

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Definitely some spoilers for Batman - the telltale series ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

Ok so, I was so lost in the first three eps I forgot I even had thoughts, ikr. So heres from 3rd to 4th episode :)

*Selina and Bruce kissing after Batman was electrocuted and she saved him. *

"Ok well, obviously I have to kiss her"

"Wait wait no"

*it gets.... more physical*

"wAIT NO??? I DONT WANT TO BE APART OF THIS PLEASE-

*disgusted face, but I'm super uncomfortable 😭*

"I dont like this, keep me out if this omg"

"Hhwhsjahwjsgahhahwha SHES UNDRESSING AND THATS A BRA"

"SHE IS WHOA THEY ARE THATS A BED"

"oh thank God, black screen, I didnt have to watch them have sex, jesus thank you"

"Underwear gang"

"Did they put on clothes again after the sex? I have no knowledge. That sounds awkward"

"Excuse me, u mean things l, wait excuse me, wow, hoe. I'm here like cute and you're not"

"Hey, theres my graple gun"

"...where did he put that, hes in his boxers"

"Hes not deadpool either, doubt he stuck the gun up his ass"

"Mmm bagels"

"Hahaha the little run he did"

"IM SORRY HARVEY"

"IM A WHORE HARVEY"

"The drug is making him aggressive"

"I'm not saying anything"

"Does Harvey turn into a monster?"

"Who is he"

"Ahahhaha he crashed into the wall"

"No, wait, Harvey sorry"

"Come and live at my gigantic place, theres apparently a lot of rooms, and two bathrooms and two kitchens"

"I have like, no knowledge about batman and dc tbh, I watched smallville"

"Ok, ok"

"Talking in front of people"

"None of the options were right, staying quiet is best then"

"Why are the brits evil, if you have a posh accent, that means u wanna stab people while drinking tea. According to dc"

"sTiCk To ThE sCrIpT bRuCe"

"Shut up"

"YO WHAT???? SHE??? SHE IS THE BAD GUY EXCUSE ME I AM I AM SO CONFUSED W H A T"

"JDJQJDHSHJSHAHQ I CANT I CANNOT RN"

"ok, ok stay cool, stay cool. Batman is all about cool, no unnecessary violence, law above personal feelings, unless the law is corrupted and is personally trying to murder everyone.... BUT it got our boi detective on the case, so it's not corrupted and I will stay with the law.... but with high heels"

"Nooooo??? What no?? That is not, excuse me no??? I didnt want him to attack, that's the opposite!!"

"I helped the montoya and let harvey fend for himself.... which apparently was a... weird thing"

"I did not punch Oswald, cuz that's anger and wont look good, when you're trying to show composure in an annoying situation"

"I asked Lucius to chill at the bat cave, bcuz I thought it would keep him safe from dangers."

"Yes, I did romance Selina, ik ik, it was a situation. And apparently 90.4% other people did too.... probably very thirsty for cat woman"

"I did not beat up harvey, bcuz it was the drug and not him."

"Okay, next episode"

"Hes in the insane place, ik he owns it, eventually, and is like helping them, and keeps like the bad bad in another level? Or, I... I'm not sure"

"I wonder what would happen if I walked out the door naked"

"Omg, is this??"

",@&2;'bqhdvbagwgsbsbhwhqhabbdjwjzgsgsbsvTHAT THATS THE JOKER QHAGSHAJHAHQ EXCUSE ME QHAT I DID NOT KNOW WHAT IS KLGOING POKKKKQHDJAHAHHWGQ I CAMT QHATTT"

"I AM JUST, SHOOKKET"

"I'm actually nauseous from all that sudden surprise xD"

"Wow, ok, this is new, ok ok cool, lets go, what does he want what what what what????$&#&^3^63^$37#&36"

"Ok ok.... I wont know unless I play, ok, pppppppppppppp, I'm ready"

"Ok but, is this the first time he meets the joker? Is this even lore for batman? Or am I just???"

"Fuck you joker, I'm not lying for you. This woman looks good and normal"

"Joker looks scary "

"Does he even have a name tho? John doe, but, should I google this? Nono what if that spoils"

"The batman logo name, looks like Dat Man"

"Episode four "

"Why is he shirtless"

"Why do I like victor zsasz (?)"

"Oh, bad scars, I am sorry, oh nevermind"

"Guess I have to talk to joker"

"Rude harvey, I thought we were friends"

"Two faced?"

"Does the joker colour his hair?"

Joker: I've been watching you, Bruce, and I can tell there's something darker in you.

Me: it's a poop, he needs to drink more water

Joker: I know what you really are.

Me: say it... out loud

Joker:

Me: hey >:(

"I dont want to, but ok sure"

"Oh yeah btw, I gave away the key"

"Damn, dramatic, ofc I stopped the fighting. Oh god, I should've said fuck off to joker, oh god, I'm a fool"

"Batman would never "

"Yea, I shouldnt have slept with her"

"I'm not paying bullies"

"What am I supposed to do? Oh... I forgot to read"

"Choices time, okay"

"I did promise joker a favour but so did 49% other people"

"I did not go with joker's plan, and 31% people are with me"

"Damn, 48% rammed the barricade, and 51% gave money"

"Wow, ok a lot more went with meeting harvey as batman, I felt that was... not right"

"Oh god, 54% went with stopping Oswald and 45% with stopping harvey... and now my house is on fire"

"Last episode...."

#gaming #relatable gaming thoughts #funny #batman batman telltale series #telltale games #telltale penguin #telltale #telltale bruce wayne #telltale batman

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countessbatman · 5 years ago

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Top 7 Favorite Comics of 2019 - #1 Harleen Written & Art by Stjepan Sejic

Harleen Quinzel is a clinical psychologist who has a theory that the ability to empathize can be broken in subjects who have extended periods of ‘acute stress response’. And that ‘acute stress response’ can lead to a mental autoimmune disorder. She would like funding in order to research the deterioration of empathy to identify a sociopath in the making, luckily the Wayne Foundation gives her a grant and an in at Arkham Asylum. Upon walking home she is held at gunpoint by the Joker, who is captured by Batman. Now The Joker resides at Arkham where her new job and research are taking place.

I’ve always liked Harley Quinn, but I wouldn’t say I was a fan. In recent years DC has kinda turned her into a 4th wall breaking Deadpool lite with zany plots and sexual innuendos. She was never a character I understood or even connected with. This book grounds Harley and she feels real, like someone in the same situation might make the same decisions. This series elevates her, she’s more than someone who was manipulated and fell in love with The Joker. It’s far more complicated than that, her own insecurities, drive and metal state factor into what changes her. It’s also tragic because she genuinely wants to help people and at times it feels like watching a train crash because you know what’s going to happen, and nothing will stop it. I’m not even a Joker/Harley shipper but the book’s main focus in on Harley and her relationship is part of that.

This book even gives a different look at Harvey Dent, he starts from the same spot that Harley does. He wants Harley to reject the Wayne grant, partly because he feels Bruce is wasting his money, but mostly because he’s been a prosecutor in Gotham and doesn’t want the criminal lawyers to use Harley’s research in their defense. He was once an idealist like Harley but fifteen years put in him in a state of ‘acute response stress’. His entire job is working around Gotham’s worst criminals and watching as the system fails all of them. Add that to the acid concoction Maroni scarred his face with, he is unable to fight off whatever toxins seeped into his mind. This transformation also affects Harley, she watches his horrible assault happen, all of Gotham does, and it is a powerful push that helps her to become Harley Quinn.

I’m not sure if this has been brought up before but the idea that Joker can’t feel anything on his skin because of the acid vat was such a telling fact. It explains why he’s such a masochist if he can’t feel most things he can endure more physical pain than the average person. (Again I have no idea if it was brought up before, please let me know) Also, I never got the impression that Joker actually loved Harley, but there are moments in this series where I think he might genuinely like her.

The art is fucking gorgeous and chocked full of details. Sejic draws a lot of reflection upon surfaces, effective lighting and uses a diamond motif throughout as if the essence of Harley Quinn is peaking from under the surface. The pacing is great and never meanders always moving forward. It’s so well written and adds so much to the mythos. Stjepan Sejic is such a great storyteller and artist. This is my favorite comic of 2019 and the definitive Harley Quinn story.

#Harleen #Harley Quinn #The Joker #Stjepan Sejic #T72019 #Countessbatmanpost

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scarletgardensrpg · 4 years ago

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the sg cast as dc characters? 👀aka my elongated way of asking: dear god please tell us who zelda, kisara, & blue are in the gotham city sirens

!!!!!!! this is it this is the ask meme to end all ask memes

A fun fact—Scarlet Gardens is actually the lovechild of two separate roleplay project ideas! One, Enter the Red, was an apocalyptic zombie game, from which SG derives most of its plot and lore. The other, V For Vigilance, was a British 80s-era dystopian game based off of, among other influences, DC and Marvel. And many characters in SG were actually originally from VFV! So, all this is to say, I actually have good answers for this ask!! 🤩

Zelda is Poison Ivy (plant motifs aside, she is also the best girl friend AND girlfriend you could possibly ask for), Kisara is Harley Quinn (slightly off her rocker, still cute we still love her), and Blue is Catwoman (sexy arms dealer who eats the rich, yes)

Ivonne and Evander are two halves to one VFV character! Ivonne was based off of Batman (i know stop laughing), and Evander is very much based off of the illustrious playboy Bruce Wayne. I am literally so happy right now that I get to disclose this bahaha

Neeve would absolutely be Wonder Woman <333

There isn’t a Superman/Superwoman equivalent within the cast, simply because no character can approach his moral spotlessness (as in, they are all some brand of assholeTM), but the closest comparison I can make is Sasha! Her physical capabilities are extremely impressive, and she’s Less Of An Asshole

Thalia, whom I literally refer to as an “agent of chaos,” is pretty clearly the Joker—also a character concept from VFV that ended up being carried over!

This doesn’t work in the greater context of things, as they’re not Ivonne’s mentees, but I did see Peter and Oksana as the Robins!

Gabriël is the Flash because bruh he dipped real quick at the massacre

I’m not saying Jacques is Beast Boy but l m f a o (in Marvel, he’s certainly Deadpool)

I can see Dimitri as Deadshot—they’re both snipers and assassins!

Luana and Maurice are definitely journalists for the Daily Planet. So perhaps I’d say Luana is Lois Lane, and Maurice is Jimmy Olsen!

Agostina could make a good Harvey Dent/Two-Face—she walks a thin line between righteously evil and evilly righteous.

Nikolaas and Lex Luthor <3 <3 oh u mad scientists u xoxoxo

Julian and Deathstroke make for a good comparison, I feel like! I don’t know Deathstroke too well, but his Wikipedia page has informed me that this man: 1) has a military background 2) is described as “kind of an asshole” 3) was involved with a government secret experiment and 4) is missing an eye. So, I mean,,

Kazimir in a sexy dress is Talia al Ghul, bye LOL

EDIT: omg I forgot our queen Cecile!!!!! She’s 100% the Silver Banshee <3

#ask #q: fun #Anonymous

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somethingusefulfromflorida · 5 years ago

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Assassin’s Greed: The Story of Charles Guiteau

My favorite historical figure has got to be presidential assassin Charles Guiteau, a person you’ve likely never heard of. You probably know John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvey Oswald, but Guiteau (pronounced get-oh) is not a household name. Where Booth and Oswald shot famous presidents, Guiteau shot James Garfield, who had served for only four months at the time and is best known for having been assassinated. Guiteau was cartoonishly twisted, with delusions of grandeur and a Type A god complex. He believed himself to be faultless, guiltless, a renaissance man, a master political advisor, and perhaps even the Third Coming of Christ (yes, third; you’ll see what I mean below). His life story sounds like something scripted to be as pathetic and conceited as possible, and it would be funny were it not so tragic.

So come with me on an adventure back to the gay old days of the 19th century, so we can delve into the mind of America’s least favorite assassin. Strap in, cause this is a long one.

Charles Julius Guiteau was born in 1841 to a family of French descent (you may have been able tell because he’s an -eau). Despite this, it is important to remember that he never learned to speak a word of French. Keep that in mind. He flunked out of school because he never felt the need to study for any exams. He was convinced he already had perfect knowledge on any given subject, “why fix what ain’t broken?”

In 1860, he joined a cult because his dad was friends with the leader. (Side note: this cult would later dissolve when a tornado destroyed their headquarters, transforming into a company that made spoons. This has nothing to do with the story, I just thought it was funny). This cult coined the phrase “free love,” which at the time just meant everyone was allowed, nay, encouraged, to bone everyone else; older women were ordered to act as “sexual mentors” for adolescent boys because they were the least likely to conceive. It was messed up. The cult also thought that Jesus had already come a second time, in 70 AD, so they had free reign on Earth to do whatever they wanted with no consequences. The end of days had come and gone, so it was smooth sailing from here on out.

Guiteau idolized the cult leader, believing him to be the perfect man in every way. The cult leader however believed Guiteau was unstable and unfit for the community. Do you know how messed up you have to be to get kicked out of a cult? People were so put off by his behavior that they gave him the nickname “Charles Get-Out,” and when he sued the leader for mistreatment his dad wrote a long apology letter saying “I’m sorry my son’s a weirdo, please don’t think less of me for it.”

He became a lawyer by sheer blind luck, barely passing his bar exam because he just so happened to work as a clerk at the Chicago law firm in question. He lost the one and only case he argued in court, and spent the rest of his career as a corrupt bill collector. He short-changed all of his clients, overcharging and under-refunding, pocketing the difference before skipping town to avoid the police. He did this often, hopping from town to town and leaving right before they could run him out on a rail.

In 1872 he endorsed Horace Greeley for president against incumbent Ulysses S. Grant; both men were Republicans, but Greeley caucused with the southern Democrats and became their nominee. He lost in a landslide, and died less than a month after the election, but again, that’s not important to the story. What is important is that Guiteau was convinced that had Greeley become president, he would have rewarded Guiteau’s endorsement with a federal appointment. Guiteau was just some schmuck, a nobody, but he believed that his approval was somehow the most important thing a candidate could receive, and that they would be undyingly grateful for it.

Guiteau believed that he was ordained by God to spread His word, and so concluded that his own word was therefore the word of God. He tried to start his own cult, plagiarizing the text from the cult leader he idolized, but it never got off the ground. In 1877 he was on a boat that collided with another; theirs sunk, but his made it back to port, so he was further convinced that his life had been spared for a higher purpose. If Christ had come again in 70 AD, Guiteau believed he had returned for the Third time this very day. At this point, his dad thought he was possessed by the devil.

You could say they didn’t exactly see eye to eye.

1880 comes along, he’s been embezzling and stealing even more money from even more cities, avoiding consequences all the while, and decides to once again throw his hat in the ring of politics. He endorses Grant for a third nonconsecutive term, despite having “campaigned” against him in 1872. Guitaeu changed his mind with Orwellian confidence, “oh, I always supported Grant, Greeley was destined to lose, I knew it and actually did my best to make sure his campaign floundered, I was always looking out for my main man Ulysses!”

Guiteau handed out leaflets and gave a speech endorsing Grant to basically no one; he may as well have just stood on a street corner shouting his opinion at passersby. Grant lost the nomination to one Congressman James Garfield, so Guiteau took the leaflets, crossed out Grant’s name, wrote in Garfield’s, and continued passing them out. The rest of the text remained the same though, so it made no sense, praising Garfield for leading the Union Army to victory during the Civil War, and saying he deserved a third term despite this being his first time running. Garfield won the presidency, and Guiteau was absolutely convinced that it was because of his leaflets. “What else could it have been?”

March 1881: Being wholly responsible for Garfield’s election, he starts writing him fan letters singing his own praise. “As you already know, I got you elected (you’re welcome, by the way). I did this out of the kindness of my heart, and all I ask in return, all I feel I deserve, is an ambassadorship. France will do nicely, I’ve always wanted to live in Paris!” As you remember, he can’t speak a word of French, “but I can learn on the job! I’m the best at learning things, but I’m sure you already know that about me. I look forward to our partnership. Your biggest fan, Charles.”

No word from the president, but Guiteau doesn’t worry. He just writes more letters. “Didn’t hear back from you, don’t know if you read my first letter, but just in case you didn’t, I’ll recap; you won because of me, I’m ready for my federal job whenever you are. Thanks and you’re welcome. Your smartest and most qualified fan, Charles.”

Still nothing. He moved to Washington, DC and became a homeless vagrant. He went from house to house, spending a night, eating the food, then leaving before rent was due; classic Guiteau! The White House kept ignoring his letters, so he decided to take matters into his own hands and personally confront the Secretary of State. “I’m sure you’ve read my correspondences, you know my qualifications, I am ready to go to Paris, just say the word.”

“Oh my God, we’re not giving you a federal job, stop writing us letters, leave the president alone, you’re a total nutjob.”

Guiteau was heartbroken. He couldn’t understand how Garfield could be such an ingrate! “I gave everything for that man, I sacrificed so much, and this is how he thanks me? I campaigned for him, I gave speeches, I handed out, like, so many leaflets!” He felt ignored, he felt BETRAYED. “How dare he? How DARE he?!? He owes me! He’s got to be the least considerate person on the planet! I put him office, I-” At this, he had a horrible realization. “Oh my God, I put him in office... He’s only there because of me... It’s all my fault! I gave this bastard the key to the White House... I gave him the nuclear codes!” [Guiteau was again misinformed, because nuclear weapons wouldn’t be invented for another 64 years] “I’ve created a monster! I put him there, and only I can take him out! I need to assassinate President Garfield.”

And so the pieces begin to fall into place.

He borrows money from his brother-in-law to buy a gun at a pawn shop. He believed God was telling him to kill the president; either that or he was telling God that the president needed to die and was just giving Him a heads up. At the pawnshop he specifically chose an expensive revolver with an ivory handle because he thought it would look better in the display case of the museum they would eventually build for him. He even managed to haggle down the price one whole dollar (about $26 today, so good on him, master deal maker).

July 2, 1881. President Garfield arrived at a train station in DC, and Guiteau is there waiting for him. He had no body guard because this was the 1880s, and nobody thought someone would be crazy enough to shoot the president in peacetime. The only government employee present with Garfield was the Secretary of War, a young man by the name of Robert Todd Lincoln. Yes, that Robert Todd Lincoln, son of Abraham, the first and so far only president to be assassinated. And he got to witness the second, firsthand.

Guiteau shot Garfield twice, but only wounded him; he fell to the ground, bleeding but very much alive. Despite this, Guiteau was confident the job was done. “Don’t worry everyone, you don’t need to panic, the tyrant is dead, you can thank me later.” The police ran at him, “officers, please, take the former president’s body away, it’s bleeding all over the train station. He’s as much a nuisance dead as he was alive, am I right? Wait, why do you have those batons?” The tackled him to the ground, as police are wont to do to people who shoot the president. “Okay, o-ho-ho-kay, I get it, you guys need to put on a show for the crowds. I understand, I shouldn’t have used a gun in public, I should’ve waited until I could had him alone, I get it, you don’t need to be so rough with me. Listen, just talk to President Arthur, he’ll have my back, I just put him in office, he’ll vouch for me, it’s cool.”

Garfield lived for two more months, wasting away in agony from infection because his doctors didn’t even think about washing their hands. They would poke around his bullet holes with their fingers to fish out fragments, poking organs, tearing muscle, just making it much worse than it needed to be. Garfield may have survived if they had just left him alone; years later, Teddy Roosevelt would be similarly shot, and survived with the bullet in his chest for seven years. Garfield died on September 19, 1881, at which point Guiteau was officially charged with murder.

Being a lawyer, he wanted to represent himself in court, but he was appointed a public defender instead. The defender quit after a week because Guiteau was impossible to work with, so his brother-in-law came on as his new lawyer; he wasn’t a criminal defense lawyer, just another bill collector like Guiteau, he was literally the only person willing to help him out for free. Guiteau claimed he was not guilty by reason of insanity, that God had possessed him, simply using his body as an avatar and smite Garfield. “It was divine intervention, nothing could be done to stop it, it was out of my hands.”

He made a mockery of the trial, cursing at everyone from the judge to the jury to his own lawyer to the crowd. He ignored his lawyer and started asking courtroom spectators for their advice, he wrote his testimony in the form of poems and delivered them to the captive audience. He reveled in being the center of attention, ignoring the fact that literally everyone hated him for killing the president. He expected a swift acquittal, and started planning his own campaign for president for 1884, “President Arthur owes me for putting him in office, so I’m sure he’ll step aside and let me run in his place, it’s the least he could do. Maybe I’ll choose him as my running mate, I haven’t decided yet.”

January 1882, he was found guilty and sentenced to death, to which he responded by calling the jury a bunch of “consummate jackasses” (and yes, that’s the real, actual quote, no joke). He was dragged out of the court, screaming obscenities at everyone within earshot. He wasn’t worried though, because he was convinced Arthur would pardon him.

In jail, he composed more poems singing his praise, “Ding dong, the witch is dead! Which old witch? The Garfield witch! Ding dong, the Garfield witch is dead!” Arthur didn’t pardon him, so he called him an even worse ingrate than Garfield; Guiteau tried to appeal his case so he could shoot Arthur too, but it was rejected for obvious reasons.

June 30, 1882, he is led to the gallows to be hanged. For his last words, he delivered yet another poem, this time an epic ballad about how he was now leaving this mortal coil to return to the kingdom of Heaven. Entitled “I am going to the Lordy,” it had a second or third grade reading level, with lines like “I wonder what I’ll do when I get to the Lordy?” and “I saved the party, glory Hallelujah.” He wanted to have a full orchestra come and give the piece musical accompaniment, but the jail told him no, again for obvious reasons. He didn’t even write music for it, he just thought it was so inspiring that the orchestra would know exactly what he intended and improvise something great.

He read the poem out loud to the crowd gathered to see him die, and was so overcome by how good it was that he broke down crying multiple times, “I’m such a genius!” He may or may not have done a little jig to go along with it, as you do when delivering the world’s greatest poem about the world’s greatest man.

Black hood, noose, trapdoor, neck snap, dead.

The jail refused to turn over his body to his family because they were too poor for a proper burial service (he had wasted all of their money on his defense). An autopsy showed that he was unable to retract his foreskin, so doctors theorized that was what drove him crazy enough to kill the president. Gotta love 19th century psychology; Freud has been largely discredited in 2019, but in 1882 he wasn’t even credited yet, he was just some random doctor, not famous for anything.

The warden sold pieces of Guiteau’s noose as souvenirs, and eventually disinterred the corpse to donate to a museum so people could pay money to see the man who shot the president. They cut out his brain to figure out what was wrong with him; one of its membranes was thicker than normal, possibly syphilitic, and modern medical professionals debate over which topical mental illness he likely had (some say schizophrenia, most agree that Narcissistic Personality Disorder had a huge part to play). They also spit-polished his skeleton and turned it into a dummy to hang up in the corner of a science class, but for some reason they hid it away in a storage room rather than giving it to a university as intended.

And so ends the story of Charles Julius Guiteau. He was a man without reason, without honor, without a lick of common sense or self-awareness. I feel bad for him because despite how horrible a person he was, he was clearly sick and needed help at a time when no such help existed. His life story is comical and tragic. He’ll never be as well known as John Wilkes Booth or Lee Harvey Oswald, and that’s probably for the best. A fitting end for a narcissist, to be mostly forgotten by history.

His gun isn’t even in a museum, the police eventually misplaced it. And I’m sure THAT is what he’d be most mad about today.

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thecomicsnexus · 5 years ago

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BATMAN: THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS JUNE - DECEMBER 1986 BY FRANK MILLER, KLAUS JANSON AND LYNN VARLEY

SYNOPSIS (FROM DC DATABASE)

It is a dark, depressing world where criminals run amok in the absence of superheroes. Gotham City is terrorized by a gang of vicious and aimless teenage murderers, the Mutants. A now 55-year-old Bruce Wayne has been retired for ten years following the death of the second Robin, Jason Todd. Attempting to bury his guilt over Jason's death, Wayne has turned to alcoholism, near-suicidal recreational activities, and has funded the rehabilitation of Two-Face in an attempt to prove to the world - and to himself - that a man's demons can be truly exorcised. On the eve of Commissioner Gordon's forced retirement, however, two events push Wayne to reestablish the presence of his alter ego: a major crime wave hits the city, and Two-Face's rehabilitation goes awry. An enormous bat crashes through the windows of Wayne Manor, symbolizing the psychological return.

Re-donning the cape and cowl, Batman must deal with a world where even the petty criminals are homicidal maniacs who kill for thrills. He no longer has the absolute support of the police, public, or government. Reporters and psychologists see the Joker as a victim and Batman as the madman.

Batman has changed since he last put on the cape: though still quite strong and up to the physical task of apprehending ordinary criminals, Wayne is forced to acknowledge to himself that his advanced age and long period of inactivity have diminished both his skills and his ability to withstand and recover from injury. And, unknown to anyone, the Joker has likewise emerged from retirement. Catatonic and without his trademark evil grin in Arkham Asylum for the ten years of Batman's absence, the Clown Prince of Crime reawakens to his twisted, hateful obsession of the Dark Knight, upon hearing a television report about Batman's return.

Upon Batman's return, journalists, experts, politicians and the public debate the rights and wrongs of Batman's methods and influence: some like Lana Lang praise him for reclaiming the streets from the criminals, while others criticize him for not observing the civil rights of these same criminals.

Finally, an out-of-control, nearly suicidal Two-Face threatens to blow up Gotham's Twin Towers; however Batman is able to deduce and foil the scheme. In their struggle, Batman removes the bandages that have been covering Dent's face, expecting to find Two-Face's visage split in its classic dichotomy. Instead, he sees Dent whole and handsome on the outside, but fully lost within his own mind. In Dent, Batman sees a "reflection": just as the restoration of Harvey's face led to the final destruction of his sanity, the Batman persona has become all the stronger for having lain hidden under Bruce Wayne for a decade.

Batman struggles against Gotham's newest criminal threat, the vicious Mutant gang and their anonymous leader. As he walks to work, contemplating his upcoming retirement, Jim Gordon is almost killed by a 17-year old boy with an M60. In the course of rescuing a young child, Batman discovers that a cash-broke Army general and war hero has been arming the Mutants, in return for the money to help his sick wife. When Batman confronts him, the General commits suicide. Meanwhile, the Mayor has appointed a qualified woman as Gordon's successor, Ellen Yindel, who worships Gordon but despises vigilantes. And a young girl who owes her life to Batman, Carrie Kelley, decides to seek out her hero and takes on the role of Robin.

Following his leads, the Caped Crusader succeeds in tracking down the Mutant lair and defeating them with the monster Batmobile, an armored supertank rebuilt by Batman during riots ten years ago, with large cannons and machine guns that only fire rubber bullets. In a brutal hand-to-hand fight, Batman is defeated and almost killed by the Mutant Leader, as the aging Caped Crusader tries to prove to himself and Alfred that he is a force at any age. Luckily, Carrie, in her new Robin costume, has been following Batman, and manages to save him.

Batman returns to the Batcave where Alfred tends his wounds and argues with him over the danger to Carrie; meanwhile, the Mutant Leader is brought into custody. The Leader's absolute animalistic nature is fully revealed when the Leader manages to tear out the Mayor's throat while in custody. Gordon and Batman conspire to defeat the Mutants psychologically by staging a fight between Batman and the Leader in front of the whole Mutant gang. Using his greater experience and his environment, Batman cripples the Mutant Leader in full view of his followers. While many of the Mutants are arrested, many more now latch on to Batman as their role model, dubbing themselves the "Sons of Batman." However, their interpretation of Batman's quest will leave much to be desired.

Finally, James Gordon looks forward to his retirement from the madness of Gotham and regretting the predicament that Batman will find himself in: caught between criminals and the police.

Newly awakened from his catatonia, the Joker has been slowly returning to his mad schemes while still incarcerated. He convinces his psychiatrist, the fame-seeking and Batman-hating Dr. Bartholomew Wolper, that he is not only sane but regretful. Seeking to discredit Batman, Wolper intends to exhibit the Joker on a late-night show in order to "prove" that the Joker is actually a victim of Batman's own "psychosis". Not pleased with this turn of events, Yindel places a heavy guard on the building. However, she still sees the primary threat as Batman and intends to arrest him if he appears. As the police are occupied with attacking Batman, the Joker murders everyone in the studio with his "smile gas" and escapes. Batman follows him to Selina Kyle's, where the former Catwoman has become a depressed, alcoholic and overweight madame. The Joker uses two of her girls to drive local politicians to suicide. He then beats and dresses Selina Kyle up as Wonder Woman, leaving a clear clue for Batman to follow.

When the police burst into Selina's flat, Batman and Robin escape, but Yindel notices the young sidekick and adds "child endangerment" to the list of charges against Batman. But he then calls her up on her radio to say that it is up to her to rescue the Governor from another Joker threat. Yindel is left lost for words.

With the police on his heels, Batman, accompanied by Robin, tracks the Joker down to a county fair. They arrive too late to prevent the Joker from poisoning to death a group of young Cub Scouts, but Robin is dispatched to prevent the Joker's accomplice from blowing up a rollercoaster loaded with riders. Robin succeeds in getting the bomb clear of the ride on the moment of exploding, but in the fight that follows the Joker's accomplice is killed. Meanwhile, Batman pursues and defeats Joker in a bloody and violent showdown. Throughout the past days, the Batman has been preparing to do what he never could before: kill the Joker and end the cycle of meaningless deaths once and for all. But in the end, he still cannot bring himself to kill his old enemy, stopping himself before fully killing the Joker, leaving him paralyzed instead. The Joker, laughing madly, commits suicide by twisting his own broken neck, intending for the police to charge Batman with murder.

In the meantime, Superman has become an undercover agent for the American government and he travels to Gotham to persuade Batman to keep a low profile. However, tensions with the Soviet Union are reaching a head over U.S. support for a South American country named Corto Maltese, and Superman is called away to "deal with it". Also, the Sons of Batman have begun to make their presence known, taking an even more brutal - and deadly - tack towards criminals than Batman. Despite Batman's non-involvement, the actions of the "SOB's" only incenses the growing anti-Batman forces in the government and media further.

When the USSR launches a nuclear warhead called Coldbringer in response to Superman's presence in Corto Maltese. Superman manages to divert the missile to an uninhabited desert area before it detonates, but damage is done nonetheless. The warhead was designed to disrupt all electronics and communications in the Western Hemisphere as well as throw millions of tons of dust and debris into the atmosphere. Deprived of the sunlight that gives him his powers, Superman nearly dies. Gotham descends almost immediately into chaos as the blackout hits, with rioting and looting rocking the city. An airplane crippled by the electromagnetic pulse crashes into a building, feeding the panic. A few citizens, including Jim Gordon, pull together to fight the fires and retain some semblance of civilization until the power is restored.

Though near death from wounds inflicted during his fight with the Joker and the police, Batman applies his ingenuity to restoring law to Gotham. He and Robin muster a force of Sons of Batman and train them in non-lethal methods as a means to stop looting and ensure the flow of needed supplies. Gotham, ironically, soon becomes the safest and best-fed city in America. Seeing this as an embarrassment rather than a blessing, the U.S. government dispatches Superman to take the Dark Knight down. Warned of their plans by Oliver Queen, the former Green Arrow who is now a bitter one-armed revolutionary, Batman prepares for his ultimate clash. Armed with an artificial powered exoskeleton, the Batmobile, synthetic kryptonite and a mysterious pill, Batman confronts Superman in a final showdown at Crime Alley, where Wayne's parents were murdered decades earlier. Batman manages to defeat the weakened Superman, only to apparently die of a heart attack at the stroke of midnight. At precisely the same moment, Alfred oversees the destruction of the Batcave and Wayne Manor, before suffering a fatal stroke immediately afterward.

The news that Bruce Wayne was Batman spreads throughout the world; however, Wayne's stocks and funds have been sold and liquidated to his "heirs" and Wayne boardmembers, Wayne Manor and Batcave destroyed, and all evidence as to his methods and tools wiped out. At a funeral attended by Gordon, Kyle, Yindel, Carrie and others, Clark Kent is plainly ravaged with sadness and guilt. Just as he turns to leave, however, he hears a faint heartbeat coming from the interred coffin. After staring at Carrie for a few silent moments, Kent gives her a wink and leaves. Wayne has faked his death with planning, skill, and his knowledge of chemistry; Carrie digs up his living body as soon as possible. Wayne had hoped to keep the secret even from Superman; with his wink, however, Kent confirms Wayne's hope that he would play along with the charade. Bruce Wayne, finally looking forward to his life, leads Robin, Green Arrow, and his army deep into the unexplored caverns beyond the Batcave, preparing to continue his fight for justice in a more low-key, but equally important, way than in his "previous life."

FRANK MILLER IN 2006

REVIEW

I added the text because one of the characters in this story is clearly Fredric Wertham, the author of “Seduction of the Innocent” that, to me, still affects the people in power at DC Comics.

And Frank Miller.

The creation of Carrie as a Robin is not an exactly progressive move. There have been many interviews with DC writers and editors where they try to avoid answering questions about Dick Grayson as Robin, and his nature as a ward of Bruce Wayne. It’s almost as Wertham’s ghost is still haunting them with the concept that Bruce, Dick and Alfred are living a homosexual dream. I would normally think it was progress; Even when Bill Willingham made a lot of mistakes when he took on Robin, you could say that Stephanie Brown as Robin could have been progress had they not killed her off. I am also mentioning this because it will become a thing in future stories in this same universe, where Frank Miller makes fun of Dick Grayson’s “feminine side”, and Batman’s rejection of that. Like a broken couple where one of the sides decided to be straight.

But let’s talk about this story now. While I know Miller is a bit fascist sometimes, I completely understand where he was coming from when he wrote this. He was living in a world that wasn’t that different from the one in DKR. And as he said in interviews, he was mugged many times, the city was in chaos and he was watching a lot of Clint Eastwood stories.

The Dark Knight Returns could be satire, could be many things, but in essence is a western. This is not a bad thing. The Nolan trilogy is also a western. Urban westerns.

As a western it makes a lot of sense. You could also add a “Sci-Fi” to that western, but to me, it encapsulates 1986. It has everything that was an issue back then. Gangs, corruption, homophobia, racism, misogyny, the cold war, the doomsday clock, etc. And just like in westerns, Bruce Wayne feels the calling once again, to come out of his retirement to save his city.

Miller is also drawing and the composition of the pages is sometimes genius. You can see themes in the sequences even when they are not connected, and even more, the use of Lynn Varley’s colors is also an integral part of this book. There is a black and white version of this story, while it looks a bit more like other Frank Miller’s creations, I think Lynn Varley adds an important layer to this story and it feels incomplete.

Now let’s talk about Batman v Superman a bit, because the mistakes of WB are a recurring thing. After this novel was published, the modern age kicked in. Suddenly everything was grim and gritty (it was progressively becoming darker, but now it was jarring). Heroes were flawed and conflicted and violent. I think that was the wrong lesson learned from DKR. DKR is a western, it’s dystopian, it has to be violent because it’s a before-its-time-elseworld. This is not Batman, and as long as you understand that this is not canon, you will not make the mistake of thinking this is Batman. To make things even clearer, Miller went on to write Year One a year later. While that story takes a lot from DKR, it is clearly Batman. He didn’t mess with the original. To this day, Year One is the gold standard of Batman origin stories (I love Zero Year more, for different reasons). So when someone says that people need to grow up and stop complaining about Batman using lethal action. In a movie that takes heavily from DKR, you can see they didn’t understand who Batman was (or even Superman). Now, I enjoyed the extended version of that film as it really explains more about Superman and Lex Luthor, but it is very flawed in terms of story. I would say that them being violent wasn’t the main issue there, but they didn’t need to be. If people keep reading DKR as something to imitate, we will never get the Batman and Superman we love. Unless, of course, that they do an adaptation of DKR.

Speaking of, there is an adaptation of DKR and it is beautiful. It’s two animated movies, but I remember thinking they were superior to the book in terms of narrative. This was something that just didn’t work with the narrative in the Year One adaptation. What works in the page, won’t always work on the screen (perhaps Sin City being the best example of something that works well on both).

This book also introduced things to the Batman mythos, even if it isn’t canon. I do not remember now if Jason’s uniform behind a glass was a thing before this (maybe in an Earth-2 story), but it is here, and it will be in the future of Batman comics. Then we have Sarah Essen (only named Sarah here). She will eventually make it into Year One, and later brought back, you know, until No Man’s Land. The batmobile in this story looks a lot like the one in the Nolanverse, and perhaps the most influential thing coming out of this story, is the idea that Batman and Superman are too different to be friends. That lasted a long time.

In the end, you may not like Frank Miller, but his talent in this story is undeniable. Janson and Varley also make this a masterpiece. Just like the Death of Superman hooked a whole generation of comic-book readers, this story was the same hook for another generation. And they still talk about the moment they read DKR for the first time and how crazy it was for them. If you read the material at the time, they have to be right. Except for some sophisticated titles like Swamp Thing, Vigilante and Omega Men, the rest of the DCU was still trying to grow up. Well, DC was about to grow up too fast.

I give this story a score of 10.

#frank miller #lynn varley #klaus janson #dc comics #comics #review #1986 #modern age #batman80 #batman #the dark knight #dark knight returns #dkr #robin #carrie kelley

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oklahomapatriot-blog · 5 years ago

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Why a Bloomberg presidency must be stopped before it is too late.

If you want to know what America would look like with Michael Bloomberg as president, take a look at Tulsa, Oklahoma and one of Bloomberg’s political minions - Mayor G.T. Bynum.

Tulsa, a city built on the kind of faith and family values that gave us Paul Harvey, Senator Jim Inhofe and great spiritual leaders like Oral Roberts, Kenneth Copeland and Joel Osteen has been rocked to its core by the Bloomberg agenda.

Bynum, a DC lobbyist, was hand picked by Bloomberg and his billionaire boys club to bring a left wing agenda to wreak havoc on a previously great conservative stronghold in Oklahoma. Masquerading as a Republican to win the election, Tulsans learned of Bynum’s true colors when he hired Tulsa’s former Democratic mayor, Hillary bundler and Bloomberg fanatic Kathy Taylor as his right hand man.

In only three short years in office, Bynum has:

1) Made Tulsa one of PETA’s Top 10 Cities

2) Worked to make Tulsa Oklahoma’s first sanctuary city

3) Accepted a $1 million bribe from Bloomberg to rewrite Tulsa history

4) Signed an executive order requiring Tulsa to hire transgender people

We first learned of the Bloomberg-Bynum alliance when Bynum was one of only a few supposedly Republican mayors picked by Bloomberg to join his Bloomberg Harvard City Leadership Initiative. A radical elitist initiative cloaked as a leadership institute designed to promote Bloomberg’s anti-gun pro-Muslim agenda that starts with banning beef. This agenda shouldn’t surprise anyone considering it was Bloomberg that banned sugary drinks in New York City when he was mayor.

Just imagine Tulsa, a city in the heart of cattle country, surrounded by hard working ranchers and home to one of the top ten steakhouses in America, is now one of PETA’s top-ten cities thanks to Bloomberg and Bynum’s pro-Muslim anti-beef agenda. As a top-ten vegan city allied with the likes of San Francisco, New York City and Washington DC, Bynum is even indoctrinating Tulsa’s impressionable youth with a new school lunch program that replaces beef with, you guessed it, vegan alternatives.

Unfortunately, the Bloomberg-Bynum agenda does not stop there as Bynum is actively working to make Tulsa the first sanctuary city in Oklahoma. Perhaps even more alarming, Bynum recently slipped up and publicly revealed his plan that “Tulsa, 20 years from now, is going to be a Hispanic city.”

To deliver on his plan Bynum accepted a $1 million dollar bribe from Bloomberg to help rewrite Tulsa’s history. Billed as a public art project, its real goal is to promote racial tension by creating fake depictions of the “Tulsa Race Massacre” to incite minorities in Tulsa to rise up and violently overthrow the establishment.

Bloomberg’s radical left agenda was also spotted when Mayor Bynum signed an executive order requiring the city to hire transgender people. Imagine one of Bloomberg’s minions actively and openly promoting an agenda to hire transgender people to work in the city that gave us Oral Roberts. We figure it is only a matter of time before you see sequined drag queens doing road construction in Tulsa thanks to Bloomberg and Bynum.

This is just the tip of the iceberg of the nanny state and sweeping radical left agenda we can expect if Bloomberg is President. We can only hope that when Inhofe retires from the U.S. Senate, he will come back to his roots to help right the Tulsa ship that Bloomberg and Bynum have scuttled.

This is a rally cry of utmost importance - it is time to send Bloomberg and his minions like Bynum packing before it is too late. If you believe this radical left agenda must be stopped now, please share this with people that need to know what a Bloomberg presidency would look like. Thank you, and God Bless America.

#election2020 #makeamericagreatagain #presidenttrump #nannystate

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theabominableblogger · 6 years ago

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Rewatching “Gotham” S5E4

Not in chronological order, yaaaayyyy...

Also the other reaction posts for Episodes 8-10 are still a work in progress so hang on!

My sister watched it with me (as well as another episode in S5 and we both plan on watching the series finale together) so my comments will be in bold, and hers will be in regular font. Author’s notes courtesy of me will be bolded and italicized.

AN: I managed to record our reactions to this episode and hopefully I can transcribe what I said into this post.

This is going to be fun.

“Shut up and die [Oswald].” *starts singing “Waking Up in Vegas” by Katy Perry*

You are really going to hell.

I am. It’s a curse.

*Recap shows Haven blowing up* Welp.

Ahhhh that freaking shot [of the burning teddy bear]

Hell of a shot to open with

MMMMM....

Also that one [of the people getting out]. That one’s good.

This whole opening just leaves you so numb.

Right? Holy shit.

And I do like that the other villains are so shocked and horrified at this.

Right, yeah.

Yeah, like you have Penguin and Ed and the other people are like “Oh my God...”

Yeah...

Oh you better not-

*Barbara points her gun at an unsuspecting Oswald* Oh come on, his back is turned!

Not right nooowww!

That’s bullshit!

*both look uncomfortable when we hear a baby crying in the background*

Everyone’s just kinda grabbing each other!

*grabs my sister and shakes her by the shoulders* It’s like “Jim!” “Harvey!” “Oswald!”

*one more time* “Bruce!” No, I’m kidding.

*laughs* Christ!

Yeah, whenever they use orange lighting in this show, it’s like “Ah yes, give me more!”

Except you know it means shit’s about to go down.

I know.

Or some shit has already gone down.

*Jim looks at the ruins of Haven* Shiiit...

*Harvey hands back the badge Jim gave to Will* Nooooooo....

*sighs*

Nooooo... come on. God dang it.

*Opening titles roll* So yeah, how’s that for an opening?

Noooo...

“As of now, death toll stands at 311.” Jesus!

“49 injured, more than 2 dozen left unaccounted for.” *very softly* Oh my God.

I swear to God she’s [Secretary Walker] an al Ghul somewhere.

AN: This was actually recorded a few weeks ago. Little did I know...

“But whoever destroyed that building can't destroy the hope we've built.” That’s not gonna do shit!

Yeah, that one lady in the crowd’s like “Oh my God...” SAAAME!

That’s not gonna do shit, Jim!

“How are you [Jim] gonna stop it from happening again?!?” Good question! Honestly right now, Jim, you’re not lookin’ so hot.

I know!

Luciusss!!

“Nothing makes sense anymore.” Someone say “It’s Gotham.” Please God!

“SELINA!” They just leave his [Bruce’s] ass there...

God... poor Bruce.

That’s gonna be nightmare inducing.

Yeahhh-

*Some of Ecco’s goons come in* OH NOOO COME ON!

Ohhh the Ecco goons!

Can I preemptively say “[expletive] that noise?”

*chuckles*

Also, I love this bit right here:

*laughs when Bruce tries throwing a wrench at a goon and missing him by a long shot* Worth the shot, buddy!

Ugghh, so close!

*Alfred comes to the rescue* AL-FRED!

YES!!

LET’S GO!

YESSS!

“I was afraid you didn’t get my signal. Lucius said the range was only a couple of miles.” Where’d he get that?!?

*at same time* What is that?!?

We already get that he’s Batman: he’s pulling solutions out of his ass.

It’s Lucius.

I guess.

“How did that happen?” “I [Bruce] let my guard down.” *aside* You do that a lot, buddy! You’ll do it more in the future!

“She’s [Selina] gone after Jeremiah, alone.” *silently hurrahs*

OK, why is she [Barbara] wearing like a dominatrix outfit?

I mean, her last outfit was covered in filth so... also she has Penguin’s hair.

Yeah but- the leather corset? Really? C’mon...

“We heard people talking about a shady guy working around Haven before it blew.” “This is Gotham. You’re [Barbara] gonna have to do better than ‘shady guy.’“ *both giggle*

“How about a location? A building in the northeast corner of Harlow Park. He says the guy's holed up there.” Also, they really need to release an official map for this because I have no idea where everything is.

They really need to.

Like I know that they use the actual No Man’s Land map

Right... but this continuity strays so much from regular DC continuity that not all of that might apply.

Yeah. It’s like “Oh the Soothsayers are in the Granton district in the Dark Zone” and I’m like “Well where is that?!?”

Yeah.

Amusement Mile?!? I know Ace Chemicals is in the Dark Zone.

Of course it is!

It’s near Crime Alley.

‘Course it damn well is!

But Crime Alley’s in Firefly’s zone. I think, yeah.

Que interesante...

Ohhh that lightinggg!

*Penguin and Co. wait for Jim in the precinct* Ohh c’mon... c’mon dude.

Digging the eyepatch on that guy [henchman] though

*mouths along with Oswald saying “woefully apparent”*

“…you [Jim] are outmanned, outgunned, and out of options.” *sings* OUTNUMBERED, OUTPLANNED!

Hey yo, I’m gonna need a right hand man!

*groans* I’m already dreading this.

“Take all you can carry.” Arm yourselves to the teeth. You’re gonna need it.

Also, they did not kill the dog.

Oh thank God.

Just to let you know!

“WE’RE NOT GONNA KILL THE DOG!”

TZE CHUN, THANK YOU!

“What do you [Jim] say, partner?” Don’t ever say that again.

Yee-haw.

You’ve yee-d your last haw.

*laughs*

*Ed wakes up* Nooo, who gives a shit about Ed? Who gives a shit? I don’t give a shit!

*aside* It’s gonna become a lot more important.

I like this music here [when Ed investigates the suitcase] actually

*both end up scatting it*

Just sounds like they’re banging a bunch of coconuts together.

*both sing* BIG ONES, SMALL ONES, SOME AS BIG AS YOUR HEAD!

*imitates Ed saying “I’ve been on a trip!” hand gesture included*

*both tilt our heads in unison to read the message on Ed’s hand*

“KNOWS WHAT?!?” Me.

Oh my God...

That’s the campaign poster [of Oswald] in S3!

Also I like how the cop cars have the grills and bars on the front and on the windshield.

Yeah... smart move!

“To hell with Penguin. Haven wasn't your fault.” “I [Jim] told the people it was safe. I made them into a target.” You know Penguin’s right there! He can hear you.

*One of the cop cars drive past Jim* Don’t park in the puddle! Noooo that’s what they diddd-

No they didn’t. Nevermind.

*giggles when Oswald pulls out a megaphone*

“There goes the element of surprise.” *both laugh*

Oh my God, he freaking winked at Jim! Oswald, you-

Oh noooo...

*Another shot at the group* Yep.

“We’re sitting ducks out here.” “And one Penguin. Hey Oswald, why don’t you crawl out there, grab that bullhorn, tell him to come out here quietly?” *both laugh*

*both imitate Oswald’s insulted “Yooouu…”*

“Pretty cozy up here. Thanks guys.” C’mon buddy! C’mon!

*claps hands* Give us him!

Give us the goods!

Give us!

“Zsasz?!?” Yassss....

“Oh hey guys, what’s up?” *both laugh*

Oh my God, I’ve missed him!

*Victor blows Oswald a kiss* YAASSSS!!

ZSAAAAAAAAAASZZZ...

ZSAAAAAAASZZZZ....

ZSAAAASSSZZZZ HONEY!

ZSAAAASSZZZZ!

*giggles* Yaaasss....

Oh my God what. Is that Selina?!?

No, that’s Ed.

Freakin- what is it with him and the bad disguises?!?

But like he got through the entire precinct like that!

Everyone wasn’t paying attention! If they were paying attention, they would’ve just ripped it [the blanket] off of him!

I know!

“I can still see your face.” “Not when I do this, you can’t.”

*laughs*

It’s literally that!

It is.

*Ed runs into Lucius* Ohhh yess! I really like these two interacting.

Lucius!

“I am given and I am taken. I was there from your first breath and I will follow you until your death.” Oh screw off!

Your name.

“Call it a personal matter.” I love that!

His little poses!

Yes yes!

“Well I'm [Ed] guessing you [Lucius] don't want money, because, uh, it's worthless. I don't tend to carry snacks on me. And if I had any bullets, I would just shoot you and take the folder.” I really want somebody to be like “I’ll give you a load of bullets for a box of Cheez-Its.” “DONE!”

*laughs* Would you like the other half of this cosmic brownie?

My God, THIS MAN GOES FREE!

You know who Chris Chalk kinda reminds me of? The ally guy from “Conquest of the Planet of the Apes?”

Yeah, it does...

Hari Rhodes! That’s the actor!

*giggles insanely when Ed tries to take the file from Lucius and utterly fails*

What the frick?

“I [Victor] did not make that building go boom, Jim.” *both laugh*

What a way to say that.

“You gave up any shred of honor long ago! Why should we believe a snake like you?!?” “Because I would never take credit for somebody’s else’s work?” *raises pen in air in agreement*

Well duh!”

“Is this about Sofia Falcone? You should really move past that. It’s not healthy.” *both giggle*

This man...

This man! He was probably raised in the South. He would probably go “Hey y’all! You’ve yee-d your last haw...”

Noooo noooo... he feels more like a California guy.

Yeah... *starts singing the theme song for “The OC”*

*Everyone starts firing at Zsasz* Zsasz is just like “Nope!’

“Nope!”

That’s the most casual duck. Just rolls out of the way!

Come on, Jim!

I’m kinda wondering why they never got “Um guys, there’s a freaking concrete wall between windows. He could just hide behind that!”

Or they could just like aim at an angle.

Yeah...

Get in the room!

This isn’t rocket science.

*both crack up when Zsasz goes for a drink break*

*still laughing* What an asshole!

*Jim body slams Zsasz to the ground* WHAA-

LET’S GO!

Right through the snack table!

And they destroyed his bowl of chips.

“[Victor] Glad to see you’re still with us.” This man has never given a shit in his entire life.

“Thank you, thank you. You were great. Glad there are no hard feelings.” I’ll be here all week. Try the veal!

*laughs* That was priceless.

“Allow me [Oswald] to deal with him [Victor].” No!

No!

“If he did this, I need to know if it was a part of something larger.” Jim, you’re always a part of something larger! READ THE SCENE!

Oh my God, they got Zsasz sitting in the back. Zsasz is probably gonna like try to strike up a conversation.

“So, how was life?” “Oh my God, shut up....”

It’s that bit in “Civil War:” “So you like cats.”

“Sam.”

This is Tony Stank!

*Selina follows Ecco and the new followers into the work site* Oh here we go, here we go. Here we go!

Oh Jesus... the belly of the beast.

Also, that place must smell like just terrible.

Right?!??! If this place doesn’t smell like an armpit, then...

*Sykes dies* ...oh God.

“Well, not with that attitude you’re not.” *leans far and away from screen*

Bitch.

“Everyone, let’s reach inside and dig a little deeper, shall we?” You prick.

*turns towards me* Don’t you dare [sing]

*leans away when Jeremiah licks blood off his knife* HI THANKS NO BYE!

*both groan in disgust*

YOU NASTY! YOU TWO [Jeremiah and Ecco] DESERVE EACH OTHER, ya- mmmmmm!

Honestly though, I am kink-shaming. I am kink-shaming so hard.

*chuckles* They’re carrying his [Sykes] body out in a wheelbarrow.

OK, but like the Tim Curry voice- that’s an affectation! He’s just putting that on to sound impressive.

*laughs when Jeremiah stops talking to himself and awkwardly clears his throat when Ecco walks in*

He’s like “Mm-mm! Sorry! Helloooo!”

*Jeremiah grabs Ecco by the neck to inspect her scar* Noooooo...

He’s lookin’ right at the bullet...

Eeuughh...

“Bruce Wayne, and his sidekick Curls? Or is he the sidekick?” That’s still such a great line.

“And Curls can walk. Really well. Especially… for a paraplegic.” *done*

*softly laughs in shock* Oh my God...

*Jeremiah purrs appreciatively at Ecco* How have these two not eaten each other alive at this point-

*sinks down in chair when Jeremiah dismisses Ecco* Oh my God, that was a ghost kiss! I HATE YOU!

“OK recruits, let’s do like my daddy did before my sixth birthday and move out!” *both laugh*

That is a hell of a line!

*Selina follows Ecco and her group* Yeah, you see him [Jeremiah] in the background just whip around!

Yeaahhh!

That was like a horror movie thing, where the monster just whips around. You can imagine a little scare chord in the background.

Right?!?

Also, I like how they establish that relationship in like under a minute.

Yeah...

Like yes, that is how you do it.

That was good.

Eat that, “Suicide Squad!”

“Evidence of deflagration would suggest something with a slower burn rate, like gunpowder or nitroglycerin.” “But for this level of destruction, that would require a bomb that's 20 cubic feet of explosive material.” Or a baZOOKA!

People just really love their RPGs in this show.

People just really love bazookas. Bane uses one in the Bane Red Trailer

“Man walks into a room, alone, and is later found murdered. There are no windows, and one door, which is locked from the inside.” *whispers* Toxic gas. No I’m kidding.

“The bomb was the building.” *imitates the way Ed says “the bomb”*

I love that.

*Ed and Lucius figure out how the building blew up* This makes the forensics class part of me just so happy.

“Ow! That’s a really nice table.” *both chuckle*

“We got a dozen witnesses that saw you [Victor] walk out of that building before it went kabooey.” *in unison* Kabooey.

“Hey, do you guys have any canned peaches? Man, I'd trade an arm and a leg for that right now. Not mine, somebody else's.” *both laugh*

Man, I missed him!

I know! I’m gonna miss him so much!

“And, guys, those were warning shots. I mean, if I really wanted to kill you you'd be dead.” If you guys could aim in this show.

Right?

I mean it’s not like the *pretends to shoot around something*

“If I blew up a building full of people, I would have covered every inch of my body in sweet, sweet scars.” Can we see them?

*gives me a weird look*

His scars! We only see them once [way back in S1].

I’d [Victor] let Alvarez do it. He’s handsome.” *both chuckle*

OK, but if the Gotham fandom isn’t already shipping them, I’m gonna be very disappointed.

*tries not to say anything without laughing*

Your stunned silence is very reassuring.

“Looks like you need a new suspect.” *in Southern drawl* Looks like it wasn’t Zsasz!

*Oswald arrives at the precinct* Go to hell!

I love that shot of him.

“I know the wheels of justice turn slowly, so I'm here to provide - a modicum of grease.” A what of what?

He said “grace” like “grease.”

What of what? I don’t know. I don’t know diction anymore.

“Oh, I did not expect you to go soft, Jim... Actually, I did, which is why I didn’t come alone.” OH COME ON!

*nods*

ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!?

“Torturing- torturing Zsasz into confessing won't give the people justice.” And it’s not a very effective way of getting answers either! Because they’re gonna say anything to make it stop.

Also, take a shot every time Oswald refers to Jim as “old friend.”

You’d be dead.

“There will be a trial!” I still really wanted an episode like the “Trial” episode from the animated series. That would have been so cool!

*waves at screen when Zsasz gets escorted out* Bye Zsasz... you’re gonna be high as a kite the next time we see you.

We see him more in this episode.

OK.

The last episode he’s in, he’s just like “Whaauggh!”

*laughs* What a way to go out though.

Harvey just tackles you?

I mean, if I’m gonna go out, I’m gonna go out high as a paper kite too.

*gives her the strangest look*

*laughs* You’re judging me so hard!

*shakes head* I can’t believe you.

I say that like I know what the hell getting high even feels like.

I love that this lazy ass [Haven bomber] just like leaves all the stuff there. He’s like “Oh, we gotta scatter it! Kick!”

“I truly hope you find whoever did this and make them pay.” So he [Ed] didn’t do it.

*shakes my head like the liar I am*

OK...

“I appreciate your help, Ed. Couldn’t have done it without you. If you tell anyone I said that, I will deny it.” *chuckles*

[Ed] You have one friend. Kind of.

He so badly wants to say “No, god dammit!” but he can’t!

Censorship!

This show isn’t rated high enough. Let Edward say [expletive]

*wheezes* He’s not that kind of person who would say that.

Oswald would!

He would. I made that meme thing!

Yeah that’s true.

Ed would catch himself and go “Oh... fart.”

“PENN, WHERE THE F-”

*both laugh*

Oh, that was brilliant*

*The crowd at the trial becomes unruly* Fight, fight, fight!

Oh God...

“Look at them, Harvey.” Not another speech!

Now see, that [mural behind the staircase in Oswald’s place] is like Bioshock! That big- isn’t there a big mural in the-

Yeahhh, in the church, yeah!

For the workforce?

I dunno, this is more like OG Bioshock instead of Bioshock Infinite.

Yeah.

Because we’re past the religious stuff.

Ohh the purple lighting behind him [Oswald].

“So, will I [Victor] be appointed a lawyer? I feel like my rights are being violated.” I mean, technically they are.

Wait, they actually have somewhere there like transcribing the whole thing [trial]!

I also like that he’s [Oswald] wearing the sash that the choir members wore.

Yep...

He [Oswald] paid off the witnesses though! This is-

No! Yeah, they said money is useless, so why would Oswald pay them off?

True... but this is obviously just a sham trial.

It is! It’s a kangaroo court. I love “The Dark Knight Rises.”

Also I like that goon in the background that looks like Neo from “The Matrix.” With the long coat- no, that’s Morpheus. Nevermind.

“It was a bomb.” *chuckles* It was a big one.

“For months now, you've been hearing me [Jim] say help is coming.” IT AIN’T!

“This is not justice.” This is where I pull out that quote from the first “Dark Phoenix” trailer and just insert it in here.

“I’ll [Oswald] consider that your [Jim’s] closing argument.” That was like his opening and closing argument!

Though it did put me in mind of a much better speech from “Camelot”: “They have forgotten justice, they want revenge, revenge the most worthless of causes.”

*Crowd calls Zsasz guilty* What the hell were you [Jim] expecting?

Welp.

And Zsasz is like “Great...” Good job, Jim!

Thanks for that, Jim!

Great job!

There is a guillotineeee!

Oh come onnn!

They probably got it from like the natural history museum.

Sheesh...

Also, why would they have a guillotine in the natural history museum of Gotham?

Because this place is [expletive] up all the way up to the ears.

“Any last words?” [Oswald] YOU PUT TAPE ON HIS MOUTH, YOU ASSHOLE!

*laughs when Victor gives his muffled last words* He’s just stalling, I love it!

“Well said.” *laughs*

*Victor gets rescued at the last minute* Ohhh ho ho ho!

Shit, that was close!

*imitates Oswald yelling “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?”

I actually really hope we see Zsasz in the time jump.

I hope so.

I will be so happy.

*Jim shoves Oswald to the ground* MOM, HE PUSHED ME!

You self-serving asshole!

“What choice do I [Jim] have? Either I let him [Victor] go, or he's dead for something he didn't do.” Either that or it’s like the final scene from “Se7en.”

*very softly* Eesh...

WHAT’S IN THE BOX?!? No. Zsasz is not up for that.

No.

I think he begrudgingly gets along with Barbara so he wouldn’t do that.

“This city will never be what you it to be, Jim. It’s always gonna belong to the bad guys… like me.” Yes.

“What?” “Yeah, what?” *scoffs in hilarity*

“Give him your gun.” OK, I hate this because Jim wants him [Victor] to shoot him.

Come on...

He wants a shootout!

“Maybe I'm just tired of listening to you, Victor.” Jim, come on!

*groans in frustration*

I like that shot though [of Victor being offered Harvey’s gun]. It’s like one of the westerns, with the blurry background.

“Do it.” No...

Jim, what are you, stupid?

*sits back in relief when Victor turns him down* Oh thank God...

“So [Victor] get the hell out of my face.” So why did he [Jim] want a shoot out? He just wanted an excuse to arrest him again?

It’s guess it’s just kind of the built up anger. Plus the fact that everything Jim has tried to do has utterly failed.

Yeah...

So he’s at the end of his rope and given up everything.

That’s true, yeah.

Ooohh that’s [the lighting for that shot of the tunnel workers walking down the hall] cool.

Yeah, where the hell is this?

I don’t know... it looks like an old parking garage.

It does!

*All the tunnel workers get knocked out* Oh dear.

*claps when Bruce emerges from the shadows and catches up to Alfred* LET’S GOOOOO! Yess!

Alfred being a badass!

*laughs when Jeremiah starts fanning himself with his hat*

*done*

*mouths along with Jeremiah’s line about the river, with eyebrows and all*

“So what do we do when we feel like giving up?” “Dig a little deeper.” *has to sit forward in an attempt not to laugh/sing*

*still done*

*eyes widen when Selina walks up to Jeremiah and stabs him*

“Deep enough?” Let’s go.

Damn.

“Well Selina, I must say-“ Yeah, the Tim Curry voice is an affectation.

Yeah.

Stab number two. Stab number three.

*in unison* Four. Five! Six. Seven. Eight. Nine.

God...

Ho-ly shit!

*Jeremiah drops to the ground* And he’s alive after that.

*shakes head*

*Selina gets hit in the head with a tool* Ohhhhhh! That oughta hurttt!

Yeah.... Jesus.

Also, you noticed like that he [Jeremiah] immediately calmed down like “Oh, it’s not Ecco, oh thank God- oh it’s just Selina.”

*laughs*

*Last shot of Jeremiah in the episode* He looks dead.

Yeah. Like how the hell did you survive getting stabbed in the stomach nine times?

Plus, in the next episode, there’s a doctor there. I think it’s some sort of surgeon.

Still though... damn...

*Ed is exhausted after climbing stairs* Mood, Ed.

“I hate stairs.” *laughs*

What a mood!

*sings* What a mood, what a mood, what a mighty big mood!

[1215] Oh Jesus...

Oh my gosh, the amount of times I’ve seen a ceramic rooster thing, ugh... that brings me back.

This poor old lady!

“You were on the roof and you had some kind of a rocket.” *softly* Oh my God...

*The old woman hits Ed over the head* HA!

*Ed starts to remember* Oh my God! He did it after all! Oh, you- eat shit, Ed!

*points at screen* Yeah that’s [the long hair and bowler hat] not a look!

*Ed blow up Haven in a flashback* Why would he even do it though?

Also, I like these Windows screensaver effects. *laughs*

Also, I wanna know how he [Ed] got the room number.

“I promise, I won't tell anybody.” “I know you won't.” Oh, c’mon, Ed!

No, c’mon! Ed, no! No no no!

*Ed shoves the witness out the window to her death* Eat shit and dieeeee...

*tries not to laugh* That’s from “Batman Forever!” Because he pushes the guy out the window in the wheelchair!

Ohhhh, eat shit and dieee-

OK, OK, here’s the thing. You’re gonna hate this ending because I hate this ending-

Oh God...

Because Jim and Barbara and it’s like-

What...

Yeah...

*yowls in frustration*

*can’t help but laugh* Same.

“[Barbara] Your tip didn't pan out.” “Well, I've got another one.” Nooo.

Jim does not need this right now.

He does not need this right now.

You’ve made a lot of shitty decisions this episode, Jim.

Yeah, everyone has. And these two have [throughout the show].

“No one knows what it’s like to be him.” *to the tune of the opening of 2001* Shuuuutttt upppp! SHUT UP!

Is this really the time for freakin’ anger sex?

I know!

“I told you to leave.” No.

*shakes head*

*both say varying degrees of “No” when Barbara gets super close to Jim*

Jim, no. No.

No.

*Jim grabs Barbara’s arm to stop her* Jim, no.

MMMMMMM!!!

*bolts out of seat when Jim and Barbara start to make out*

JIIM, COME ONNN!!!

*in the background* I’m goin’ out the window, bye!

Jim...

*comes back to seat when end titles appear* AND THAT IS THE end of the episode!

Nooooo!! Jiimmm, come on! COME ON!

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