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xiaomoxu · 4 years ago

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Lucien’s Rumors & Secrets – Season 2: 暗蚀 “Eclipse (Internal Erosion)”

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️

Latest Rumors & Secrets from CN server which hasn’t been released in EN server. Contains detailed spoiler from the main story. It comes with Lucien’s Karma for Chapter 10-13 Season 2.

CHAPTER 1

Part.1

"Lucien, are you really anxious to go back?"

"Sorry, Professor Ren, I do have important matters in China."

"Then at least, let’s go for dinner after this.”

"I appreciate your kindness, but the time may be a little tight." Lucien smiled apologetically, "When you want to go back to China, let me do your favor. The research I mentioned earlier, I will start as soon as possible."

Part.2

Professor Ren watched him neatly put the things on the desk into the cardboard box, and sighed softly. From studying to becoming a member of this institute, Lucien is his most proud student. Both academic and work are hard to fault. He believed that Lucien could do well from scratch after returning to China, but...

"Well, I can't hold you back, but there is one more thing I must ask you."

Lucien stopped his hand movement, "You said."

Part.3

"We have known each other for several years, and I found that you are always alone no matter what. You are indeed much better than most people, but have you never thought about trying to let others into your world?"

"I understand that many things do depend on the strength of the team.”

Professor Ren shook his head, "I mean something outside of work, about yourself."

"Thank you for your concern, but for me, this is great now."

Part.4

After Lucien finished speaking, he continued to bow his head to pack his things. Professor Ren looked at him for a while and suddenly smiled.

"Forget it, I can't figure out what you young people are thinking, Lucien, in fact, everyone is a very good subject on their own, and you can study it if you have time.

Professor Ren smiled and patted Lucien on the shoulder, without saying more.

Part.5

The plane flew smoothly in the night sky, the lights in the cabin were turned off, and Lucien closed his book and closed his eyes to take a nap. In about ten minutes, light suddenly appeared in the pitch-black vision. Lucien fixed his eyes to distinguish it, and there seemed to be a field of flowers in front of him. The fine rain was lightly tapping the flowers. When he was about to turn around to take a look, a mass of warmth hit his back, and soon some kind of cool liquid was soaked his clothes. He turned his head and saw a girl burying her head on his back and whispering. The flower field behind her was stained with color because of her presence. The blue and purple hydrangea clusters trembling in the light rain, like a girl's intermittent breathing.

The plane bumped and awakened Lucien from his dream. He slowly opened his eyes, as if he could still smell the faint fragrance of flowers.

Part.6

It was the kind of lucid dream that he couldn't refuse. Even in light sleep, he would find a gap and get into his mind. He should have felt irritable, but the real color and temperature in the dream made him a little nostalgic.

Lucien subconsciously stroked his heart, waiting for his heartbeat to stabilize. It seems that there are some emotions that are rarely experienced. He wants to catch but can't catch it, so he can only try to figure it out a little bit patiently.

However, in a few hours, those familiar street scenes in the dream will appear in front of him.

He believes that he will find a way to solve the mystery here, or meet the girl in his dream who bring color.

CHAPTER 2

Part.1

The first independent research paper of the institute was successfully published. The researchers breathed a sigh of relief and prepared to celebrate. As the initiator of this research, Lucien naturally couldn't escape the celebration wine. On the way to the bar after work, the young researchers couldn't help whispering: Professor Lucien, who is always immersed in scientific research, has been to the bar, what is the amount of alcohol, and how will he deal with the girls who strike up?

Lucien followed the group of people and walked into the bar. The boss behind the bar saw him sharply, raised his hand to greet him, and then personally led everyone to a deck.

"Please sit down. It's quiet here. Professor Lucien specially asked me to reserve a place.

Part.2

Lucien motioned his colleagues to sit first. However, everyone hadn't recovered from the surprise, so he had to take a seat first and briefly explained.

"When I was not busy before, I would come to sit and chat with the guests here."

The boss handed over the wine list and followed Lucien's words smoothly.

"Who can you talk to Professor Lucien? I don't know how many people come to me every day to see him."

"The boss is joking, what really makes you linger is your special tone." Lucien handed the wine list to the colleagues around him. “Today, I invite everyone to drink whatever they want. "

Part.3

After a few glasses of wine, the researchers who usually don't drink much were a little drunk, Lucien also leaned on the back of the sofa, letting him relax for a while. In fact, he has no thoughts of celebration. This paper is just to make the research institute appear in a wider field of vision. It will be more convenient to be noticed by some necessary people in the future.

It was getting late, and Lucien found an excuse to leave temporarily and was going to settle the bill in advance. The boss was changing discs in the operating room, and the gentle jazz was flooding the bar. Lucien realized that the noise tonight had ended a little early.

Part.4

“It is raining heavily tonight, and it is estimated that not many people will come to play." The boss settled the bill quickly, and didn't forget to help Lucien get a discount. "A Foggy Day, Professor Lucien played this song when he first came here, did I remember correctly?"

Lucien smiled and nodded, and subconsciously looked at the glass window that was not far away. Late at night, the rain came quickly and violently. As long as someone opened the door, the wind that penetrated into the house would blow a string of aluminum film ornaments on the window up and down. The shattered reflections and the rain marks on the glass windows made the scene in the aftermath blurry.

The boss took out a paper towel for the guests to wipe off the rain, Lucien thought about it, and took one and folded it easily. An "experience" that had never been experienced before dragged his fingers, and soon folded out a paper crane.

Part.5

The boss caught a glimpse of what was in his hand and was about to say something, but he saw Lucien quickly take the paper crane apart again. On the recovered tissue, there was nothing but a few creases, but he stared at it for a long time.

"Professor Lucien?"

The boss's voice rang in his ears, Lucien finally recovered and withdrew his gaze.

"Sorry, I may have drunk a bit too much today."

Part.6

"Don't be greedy, you should rest early for scientific research."

Lucien nodded and thanked the boss, walked to the bathroom, and took a deep breath into the mirror. The moment he folded the paper crane, he suddenly thought that someone had left a wish related to him in it, and that was exactly what he wanted. He opened the paper crane and tried to capture the traces of this wish, but found nothing.

Some kind of hot and inexplicable pain wrapped his heartbeat. Is it drunk, or is it a lucid dream?

Part.7

At this moment, he really wanted to sleep, but it was not for rest, but for the dream to complete the broken picture. He had to admit that no matter how vigilant he was, he still couldn't ignore the existence in the dream. But chasing such a unknown thing is too risky, should I bet on it? The phone in his pocket vibrated suddenly, interrupting Lucien's thought. The girl's name appeared on the screen and congratulated him on his successful publication of the paper. He looked at the name and typed a few words almost without thinking. "where are you?"

Part.8

She responded quickly, saying that she was at home, and then asked him if he was okay. Lucien's fingers paused, and she quickly covered up her gaffe with other topics.

If there is any sign of reality in the nothingness in the dream, it is "color". He has only seen such a color in one person. Lucien put away the phone and made a decision quickly.

He wants to be closer to her, maybe it would be a good choice to be a neighbor.

CHAPTER 3

Part.1

On the second day, the atmosphere of the institute was a little bit wrong. Lucien greeted his colleagues as usual, but found that everyone's sights were a little dodge, only the intern Pete came over and asked him in a low voice

"Professor Lucien, do you have a headache?"

"It doesn't hurt, what's the matter?"

"That's good, we don't know how much you drink, and we are worried that we persuaded you to overdo it last night"

"No, I know my limit."

Part.2

He looked around the people in the office, probably because of a hangover, everyone seemed a little slouched. Lucien sighed lightly, turned and walked into the office.

Half an hour later, the researchers received Lucien's puffs. Professor Lucien ordered puffs, which sounded as weird as "Professor Lucien went to the bar". After looking at each other for a while, Pete was appointed by everyone again and sent Lucien's share into his office.

"Thank you."

Part.3

Lucien looked up from the information, took the paper bag that Pete handed him, and saw his hesitant expression.

"what's wrong?"

"Ah, nothing! It's just a bit of a surprise. For the first time I know you like sweets."

“At this time, energy needs to be replenished quickly to make follow-up and less mistakes on works." Lucien smiled faintly, took the pile of materials on hand and gave it to Pete after he finished eating, “copy it for me and send it to everyone."

Part.4

Pete hurriedly picked it up and was about to leave the office. Before closing the door, he glanced at Professor Lucien, who was full of energy behind his desk, and his admiration increased.

Lucien opened the paper bag only when Pete left.

The rich aroma burst into the nasal cavity instantly, making Lucien feel strange for a moment, but the choice just now did not make him feel unreasonable. It seems that this kind of sweets is also a "frequent customer" in this research institute.

Part.5

Lucien hesitated, took out the puff and tasted it, frowning slightly.

It's too sweet, not his favorite taste.

...But what kind of flavor does he like?

Obviously he doesn't eat sweets very much, but inexplicably preset the sweetness. Even when he sees tears, he also knows what kind of saltiness it is because he has felt it in the scenes that suddenly appeared.

Part.6

Lucien had long understood that they were not ordinary illusions, but he did not expect that he would even be influenced. He experienced many things he had never experienced before in these untouchable pictures, like a mirror image of a certain fact.

He suddenly realized that maybe he didn't have any favorite taste, but the tip of his tongue remembered the taste he tasted for the first time, which has since defined his cognition.

Once the taste is developed, it is difficult to change it.

CHAPTER 4

Part.1

Lucien stood under the lush camphor tree again.

This is the place he visits most often in his dreams. Perhaps it overlaps with the experience in reality. He once thought that the picture here would never change into a big snow, wheat field, camphor tree, and waiting alone under the tree little boy. But this time, the picture didn't unfold as he knew it: the white snow dissipated, revealing the golden wheat field, and under the camphor tree, besides myself when I was a child, there was also a little girl. She folded a colorful paper crane like a magic trick and gave it to him. He stretched out his hand to take it, and the colorful colors leaped in his pupils.

He heard the girl ask him in an expectant tone if he would come here to meet her tomorrow. It sounded like an appointment to ask a question, but he didn't hear his answer.

Part.2

The dream stopped abruptly, Lucien opened his eyes and moved his sore neck. The finger subconsciously stroked the inner pocket of the jacket, and the red peace knot was still placed there. He seems to have become accustomed to such subtle deviations, which has become a way for him to distinguish between dreams and dreams.

In the gloomy laboratory, the Dream Recorder was hibernating quietly, and Lucien's face was reflected on the darkened screen. This machine has been secretly tested for four years. No matter how fragmented the dreams recorded each time, Lucien will print out the records and keep them. Today these records have been very thick, but there are still no clues that can reveal the secrets of dreams.

Part.3

Lucien opened the piece of printing paper at random, which recorded a dream not long ago.

He remembered that in that dream he was sitting next to a hospital bed, holding one hand

Holding a girl’s hand, and holding a book in the other hand. The book reads "Dreaming and madness seem to have the same substance. Their mechanism is the same..."

Part.4

The emotion that always follows the girl in the dream is once again wrapped in the chest. It is a desire to understand, almost desperate, but there is often pity and contradiction. He can assume that these scenes are real, but he maintains constant doubts about such emotions.

No matter how difficult the predicament is, Lucien seldom feels fear. He doesn't understand what is worth standing still under that urgent will. Lucien sorted out his emotions and turned on the machine in front of him again.

In the face of a huge unknown, everyone has a moment of madness due to being overwhelmed, and perhaps his current state is also like this. But he did not deny these dreams, because they just proved that something irreversible had happened.

CHAPTER 5

Part.1

When Lucien handed the record to Hypnos, the latter's gaze stayed on him for a while.

"Ares...no, Professor Lucien. Your recent experiments seem to have become more frequent."

"I just want to improve efficiency."

"Do you really think these fragmented dreams are useful?"

" If you want to form a perfect picture, a piece of fragments can't be missing.." Lucien met his gaze. "At present, it seems that only I can help you spell out the perfect world you want.”

Part.2

Hypnos raised his mouth slightly, "Your style is still more like Ares."

"As long as the purpose can be achieved, identity does not matter." Lucien looked at the subway station not far away, and walked towards that side first. "I also look forward to your efficiency, Hypnos."

The empty subway moved slowly, carrying its first passenger to the spring that has yet to come.

Part.3

Lucien got out of the car and stepped into the familiar wheat field. There was a lonely figure under the lush camphor tree with a kite in his arms. Lucien looked at it for a while and walked over and sat beside the little boy. The little boy didn't seem surprised by his arrival, he didn't even turn his head. The two people sat side by side in silence for a long time, and the little boy finally spoke.

"Have you found the person in your dream?"

"Not sure yet."

"Can I see her again?"

“We will see it.”

Part.4

Confirming that the dream was stable enough, Lucien stood up with the trunk behind him, his vision suddenly lit up.

He raised his head and found that the snow in front of him was gone, leaving only an endless wheat field. Several kites were raised high, like carefree birds. This was not what he had seen in his dreams, so he stood there and didn't move.

The wind started, Lucien narrowed his eyes slightly, and suddenly felt his little finger hooked. He turned his head and saw a clear smiling face-- was his neighbor, "rival", the girl who always wanted to be vigilant in front of him and often did stupid things.

Part.5

She didn't seem to mind Lucien's dazed expression, she still looked at him with eyebrows and shook his fingers.

Is it her... Is it her? Is she making an appointment with him?

Lucien eagerly wanted to grab her hand, but before touching her, all the scenes in front of him suddenly disappeared.

The fragments of spring remained in his eyes, and were washed away by a blank white. The heavy snow still didn't stop.

Part.6

Lucien looked up at the luxuriant camphor tree on his side, feeling that it looked like a kind of solemn guardian. Before he found the key, he would never open the secret door to him easily. However, at this moment, he seems to see a certain corner of his heart that has been in the dust for a long time, so that the complex emotions born from dreams can be traced slightly.

He has always wanted to know where these pictures came from, how they are related to the deviation of the world, and who is the person in the unclear dream; and behind all these desires, it is hoped that these pictures exist for a long time.

Perhaps when he didn't realize it, there were already people visiting in his world. He will also want to place something on a certain person, such as an agreement that will not miss an appointment, or a watch over the sky.

Part.7

Lucien left the dream. When he opened his eyes on the subway, Hypnos was sitting not far away.

"How, is it the effect you want?"

"It's very stable, but there is still one area that needs adjustment." Lucien turned his head and looked at the train door. "In this dream, there is always a part that cannot be opened. I suspect that will be the key to the whole dream."

"I just restored this dream based on your records. If you can't open it yourself, I can't help it."

Part.8

"This is not my own dream. Someone will help me open it."

"What do you need me to do?"

Lucien pondered for a moment, raising his eyes to look at the person opposite.

"Create a condition where the door can be opened to welcome guests."

Hypnos raised the corners of his lips slightly, "It seems that Professor Lucien has already chosen someone in his heart."

Part.9

Lucien lowered his eyes, and some interesting memories flashed in his mind.

The shadow under the desk, ten boxes of "small syringes" that disappeared, and "Miracle Finder"

Whether intentionally or not, the girl had given him many excuses to approach her, and invited her to step into this illusory dream.

He is looking forward to what kind of new world she can open up.

---END---

I swear, every time I translate Lucien’s part, my heartache is getting worse. Please let him be happy for once!! (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)

Notes: I’m not planning to take another R&S after this (*/ω＼) Hope you guys enjoy reading this translation. Let me know if there’s a mistake ^^ THANK YOU~

#mlqc #mlqc r&s #mlqc rumors & secrets #mlqc lucien #mlqc cn #lucien #mlqc translation

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moral-turpitudes · 4 years ago

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To the Moon:

A/N: Totes cried while writing this but it’s fine.

Trigger Warnings: Angst, Descriptions of Character Death, Drinking, Pregnancy, Cancer, Fluff, Grief, etc.

Word Count: 4,225

Characters: Thomas Shelby x Female!Reader x Anna Shelby (OC?/Daughter)

Request: “Hi this is my first request and it’s an angsty Tommy x Reader where the reader is an old flame and they didn’t work out but Thomas still loves the reader anyway, and she sends him a letter out of the blue. Apparently the reader got pregnant and had a kid but she’s really sick now and doesn’t want her kid in an orphanage. It could end in fluff but doesn’t have to.”

Requested by: @wierdestmoppet

A/N: Get ready for some sad shit. I saw the request and this is what my mind jumped to lol. I wrote this to be set like around Season 1-ish btw.

Summary: Life and death have a way of revealing the truth within us, and it can cause things to happen at the most unexpected times. This is especially true for Thomas Shelby as he realizes not even he can stop death.

Part 1 | Part 2

“Dear Thomas,

How are you? It’s been a long while and I hope you and your family are doing okay. I know this may be out of the blue, but you know I’ve never been much for planning things. You also know that I prefer getting straight to the point, so disregard any smudged writing in advance. I’m trying to keep the tears at bay while writing this, but I figured I’d burn any bridges while I still can.

I know we parted in anger but I’d love to know if you’d forgive me for how I acted. When I left during the months after you had gotten back from France, every fiber in my being wanted to stay there with you, but I couldn’t. I had no one besides you and your family and it made me feel worse, like a burden. I was so scared you’d send me away if I told you then...so I made that decision for you and I know it destroyed you.

I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for that, and now of all times I’m sitting here wishing I could be back there in that dirt-covered town, walking by the cut with you just like old times...but I can’t, not in this life anyway.

It saddens me greatly to know I’ll never see your face again, but for the sake of time I’ll be blunt. A couple weeks after I left, call it karma if you will, I fell more ill and went to the doctor. When I left, my suspicions were confirmed. I was pregnant.

I fought the urge to call you though and I regret that to this day, but I’m writing this now to hopefully make up for it.

I had not been with anyone else the whole time you were deployed. But if you can think back, you’ll remember our time at the Garrison and how you’d brought me home. That night stuck with me for nine months, Thomas. I had a beautiful baby girl who I named Anna. And the best part is that she has your eyes.

With all that said, I know this is a lot to take in, but I have one dying wish. You see, I’ve been diagnosed with cancer and the doctors said I have only days left to live. I’m...I’m trying so hard not to cry because I don’t want to wake the poor girl, but I can’t go on much longer and she deserves a good life...One that I can’t give her. I’d love for her to not have to go to the orphanage, as it would break my heart. So I’m asking you to do probably one of the hardest things you’ve had to do in some time, my love. I’m asking if you’d be willing to take in our Anna?

I’ve always wanted her to meet her father, and I wanted to wait until she got older to do so...but it seems life had a way of throwing off those plans as you can see.

I just wanted to let you know in case a lovely little one year old shows up at the shop soon. I’ve sent my friend here in London to take her to you after I pass. I know you may not love me anymore Tom, but I hope that whatever love is still in your heart, you can give that to our daughter. And that you can also find a place in your heart for forgiveness, I know I have.

I’m not expecting anything else, but I truly wish you the best in life, both for you and the family. I’ll think of Anna and you when I sleep tonight. That’s about as close to being in heaven as I can think of.

With all my love,

Y/N Y/L/N”

Thomas set down the letter, hands shaking as he slid his finger over the dried ink that was smudged in various spots by her tears.

He sat there with his head in his hands, tears silently falling from his eyes as the memories came flooding back.

He had just gotten the business in line, and had a good thing going with his family. Even securing a legal betting license, but just as he’d known all his life, he couldn’t get his hopes up when it came to love. Every woman he’d ever loved seemed to have an expiration date, and this one tore him to the core.

As he sat there, the rain pattered on the windows of his office at the shop. The sound only fueling the rage inside him as he came to terms with the letter.

He had thought she’d moved because she found someone new or thought she’d gone off to find a job somewhere perhaps. But he didn’t expect this. After all, he still loved her. He was never good at showing it but he truly did love her and now she was being ripped from him without even getting to say goodbye.

He took a shot from his glass at his desk and threw it in frustration, shards exploding on the ground like tiny specs of glitter.

As he watched the shards shimmer in the dim light, he remembered the fancy envelope. Frantically picking it up and seeing a small picture hanging out of the corner that he must’ve missed before.

It was of Y/N holding Anna. Y/N had a weakened look to her as she sat on the steps of her apartment in a light green dress. It was her favorite color after all, and he knew that.

She had the brightest smile despite her frail state as well and it instantly caused him to smile too. When his eyes landed on his daughter it only grew and he felt his throat tighten as he cleared his throat, trying to keep his emotions at bay.

She indeed had his striking blue eyes though, and the beautiful color of her mother’s hair. With tears threatening to fall, he noticed she had her smile too, thanking whatever gods above that she didn’t get his toothy grin.

As he admired the picture, he remembered seeing the date and a phone number scribbled on the letter, her handwriting noticeably declining compared to when she used to write him long ago during the war.

Without a second thought, he called her number hoping she’d answer. His heart stopping for a moment as he heard static on the other end before it picked up, a faint voice saying “Y/L/N Residence.” in response.

“H-Hello, I’m sorry it’s late but this is Thomas Shelby. Is Y/N there?” He asked, his voice trembling as he wiped tears from his eyes.

“I never thought you’d call...” She said.

“You sound...different.” He said.

Y/N laughed, and he swore he could feel his heart pound at the faint sound of it.

“Death does that to ya.” She said, making light of the situation.

“Y/N...I-I got your letter. I know we don’t have much time...but I love you. I do. I-I love you so fucking much okay?” He said frantically, sitting down at his desk.

“I’m not dead yet.” She lightly chuckled.

“I know...just wanted to let you know I do love you, and that I forgive you. For everything.” He said quietly.

“I thought you’d moved on Tom...But I love to you too. I’m so sorry I’ve put you through this...” she said, breathing heavily.

“Don’t you worry sweetheart. You’ve done nothing wrong. I-uhm...I haven’t moved on. I could never move on from you, Y/N...” He said, her name on his tongue like a spark. He hadn’t said her name so often in ages.

“Did you get the picture?” She asked.

“Yes. You’re beautiful. Anna is too. Beautiful just like her mother.” He said, holding the picture in his hand.

“I was so excited when she opened her eyes. I’m so glad she has yours.” She said, her voice fading a bit as she reminisced.

“And I’m glad she has your smile my love. Can’t have her running around with a smile like mine aye?” He joked.

“Oh stop.” She chuckled.

He laughed lightly as she continued, her breathing audible over the phone.

“I’m happy the letter got to you when it did. I was trying to hold out for you both.” She said, her voice thickening as tears welled up in her eyes.

“I’m happy it did too. You’re the strongest woman I know. You know that right?” He said, wiping his own tears from his eyes as he heard her crying.

“I want our Anna to grow up strong too. Have you considered my offer?” She asked.

Thomas hesitated, his hands were shaking more than they had when first reading the letter.

“Yes. I-I don’t have a nursery yet, but I’ll be able to get things sorted in no time, alright love?” He said.

Y/N sighed with relief. “Good...you don’t know how happy that makes me. I’m...I’m holding her little hand right now. She’s got a firm grip just like her daddy.” She said, sniffling.

“Good. She can rough house with Finn when she’s older.” He said.

“Just...protect her Tommy. She’s so sweet. I love her so much...” She said, her voice weakening.

“I love you, to the moon and back you hear me? Is the nurse with you?” He asked, noticing her voice changing.

“Y-yes. My friend is too. Told her to bring Anna as soon as I go. I-I’m so scared Tom...” She said, her voice cracking as she cried.

“And I love you to the moon and back too sweetheart. I just wish I could have you here with me.” She continued.

“I know you’re scared Y/N. Just hold Anna’s little hand and listen to my voice...okay? Everything will be alright. I-I promise.” He said, his own voice cracking as more tears ran down his face.

“I’ll always protect our daughter. And I’ll tell her how much you meant to me and how much you loved her. I’ll always love you. Always, to the moon and back aye?” He said.

Her breath shallowed as she answered, the last of her strength fading as she spoke.

“I love you both. To the moon...and back.” She said, taking a final breath before her eyes closed and her body went slack, including the finger that her daughter was clutching onto while lying beside her in bed.

The line was silent as Tommy listened. His heart nearly broke when he heard Anna’s cries, and her friend and the nurse sniffling as they helped around the room.

“M-Mr. Shelby? This is the nurse. I know this is hard...but would you like her ashes or would you prefer her to have a traditional burial? She never got the chance to specify.”

He wiped his tears on his sleeve and looked out the window as the rain fell, the moon shining brightly as he gazed up.

��Traditional burial. She needs to be where she’s loved. My family will be in touch as soon as we can.” He said.

“Alright. We recommend doing it soon, tomorrow perhaps. Her friend just left with Anna and will be by your shop in the morning.” She said.

“Uhm...yeah tomorrow is fine. Bring Y/N to the fields and we’ll take care of the rest. I’ll be here at the shop when Anna gets here.” He said, his mind feeling like it was about to explode.

“Alright. I will see you tomorrow Mr. Shelby.” She said.

“Alright.” He whispered before hanging up the phone.

He frantically strode over to his whiskey stash, downing a good portion of it before he ran to the shops bathroom. The mixture of suddenly ingesting all that alcohol and his frazzled nerves taking its toll.

When he composed himself, he freshened up as best he could and splashed cold water over his face, trying to wash the memories and the rush of the alcohol away.

As he made his way back to his office, he thought to call everyone. Even if they were sleeping, this was the one time he truly needed everyone in the family.

“Polly? It’s me. I’m going to need uhm...a crib...and a funeral lined up in the fields. Can you bring the crib here to the shop? I-I guess I’ll need anything baby related.” He stammered.

“Holy mother...slow down please! What are you talking about?!” She asked tiredly through the phone.

“It’s Y/N...yes...her....she left me because she was pregnant and she had the baby and she’s mine. Her name is Anna and she’ll be here in the morning. Y/N she uhm...she died. I just talked to her as she passed alright? She ended up having fucking cancer. She wrote to me and...and it was her dying wish that I take care of Anna for her. I need everyone here. This is the one thing I can’t do alone, Poll.” He said frantically.

Polly stayed silent as she processed what was said, he could hear her sniffling as she spoke.

“Christ have mercy....I’ll call everyone in. You try to get some sleep even if you’re lying on the shop floors. You can’t take care of your daughter drunk like that. I can hear it in your voice.” She said before hanging up.

Polly quickly got ready, waking up little Finn and sadly explaining to him what happened. Together they gathered an old crib from when Ada stayed over with Karl a couple nights, and she found some baby food and diapers.

Next on her list was to call Ada as she had more things at the ready, and she and the rest of the blinders were just as shocked as the news rolled in.

2 hours had passed and Tommy had forced himself to lie down with his coat draped over him on his office floor. The half empty bottle of whiskey smashed to pieces from when he’d gotten off the phone with Polly.

His eyes were blood shot and moving rapidly under his closed eyelids, dreams of coming to save Y/N from the inevitable somehow threatening his mind as he watched her disappear like a ghost. His eyes flew open though as he heard the shop doors close. His tragic slumber interrupted further by numerous heavy boots on the floor.

He sat up slowly, trying to smooth out his hair and putting his coat on as the draft from the cool night air crept in through the creaky floors and window sills.

He sat there on the floor, not having the strength to get up as Polly and the rest of his blinder brothers came into the dark room.

“Tommy...Polly told us what’s happened. I’m so sorry...” Ada said, holding a large bag of everything baby related that she could find. Little Finn held a small crib and Polly had a blanket in her arms as well as a small bag of food.

“Everything was fine a couple hours ago, I was just ‘bout to go home then I saw the letter on my desk...” He said, wishing selfishly that he could turn back time.

“Look mate...we have your back. Just tell us what ya need done and we’ll do it. It’s a family meeting after all.” John said, nervously biting the toothpick in his mouth.

“I...I spoke with the nurse. She said they recommend having the funeral tomorrow. We’re having it in the field like we usually do. It’s what she would’ve wanted probably. I couldn’t let them burn her and stuff her in some urn. She deserves better. God damn it...” He said putting his head in his hands. He’d always been the one in control. He’d always had a solid plan, a solid mode of attack, but this was something he had no control over. Just as much as life had control over death. It was all out of his hands.

“I’ll go get Johnny Dogs and the Lee’s help with all that, you stay here Tom.” John said, kissing Esme goodbye as he went out into the night.

“Oi, brother do you want me to go with him? I promise I won’t do anything this time.” Arthur said, crouching down by his brother and placing a hand on his shoulder.

“I don’t care, as long as Anna gets here safely and as long as Y/N can have a decent place to be buried in. That’s all I’m on about now. Fuck the rivalries, for one day.” He said. It wasn’t like him to stop condoning a lot of violence, but perhaps this made him have a change of heart.

He glanced at the photo she sent him, his eyes glossing over as he held it in his shaking hands.

“She has my eyes.” He said, his own filling with tears that not many of his family had seen in so long.

“She’s beautiful.” Polly said, sitting by him on the floor. Little Finn helped set the crib down and Esme and Ada helped clean up the mess Tommy had made.

“She is...” he said.

Around 4 hours later, John and some of the Lee’s returned and told them they’d gotten everything set up and Tommy had met with the nurse. She was dressed in a black dress and a black coat, and holding a silver necklace with a light green stone in it. It was Y/N’s that Tommy had given her before he went off to war.

“She wanted you to keep this, to give to Anna...she thought maybe as an 18th birthday gift would be nice...” She said, wiping a tear from her eye.

“Thank you. I’ll keep that in mind.” He said, putting the necklace in his jacket, clasping the button on the small pocket so it was secure.

As the night blurred into the morning, Polly and Esme napped in the chairs as Tommy rested his head at his desk. Finn and the rest all finding places to doze off to in various corners of the shop.

As much as Thomas hated everyone sleeping uncomfortably, he knew it was good they were here. He needed the support whether his pride liked it or not.

It was around 6 am when the nurse arrived again, letting him know Y/N’s funeral things were all set up. And it wasn’t long after that a small car pulled up. A woman with blonde hair and a black dress getting out quickly as she reached for the little girl.

Her faint cries were heard as Thomas watched from the doorway, alert and ready to do what he had to do for the coming days, and eventually years.

“Hello Mr. Shelby. My name is Jess. I was a good friend of Y/N’s. Here’s your daughter. I hope she’ll be a comfort to you.” She said quickly as she handed her to him.

He nervously cradled her into his arm as she squirmed in defiance at first. The new person holding her making her only want her mother more.

“Hey...hey...shhh. It’s alright love. It’s okay. Daddy’s here. It’s okay.” He cooed, carefully swaying a bit as he held her. As she adjusted to her new surroundings, she gradually stopped crying, her bright blue eyes opening and landing on her fathers face. Tears were coating her cheeks as she looked up at him in silence, curiously as she took in the man holding her.

“It’s okay. I promise.” He said, gently wiping her tears as he carried her inside.

Polly and the girls gasped quietly so as not to startle her too much. But she cried nonetheless, the new people overwhelming her. Tommy cooed again and gave her his finger to hold, helping her out of her crying fit.

“You’re a natural Tommy. Must’ve been all the babysitting when we were little.” Ada said, as she watched her niece slowly stop crying.

“I can only hope so.” He said, looking down at his little girl. John and Arthur and the others came near as quietly as they could, watching as she had a death grip on Tommy’s finger.

“She’s a strong little bugger. Finn you’ll have to show her the ropes ya know.” Arthur said, Finn looked on curiously at his new niece and nodded.

“Not till she’s older. We have to protect her alright, Y/N will strike me down if we don’t.” Tommy said, smiling a bit as he wondered where her soul was now.

“How about we let you be? We’ve set everything up in your office, so it should suffice until later today when you can take her home. The funeral is at noon. So everyone get home and get ready and meet at the field.” Polly said, before patting Thomas’ shoulder. He was in shock at the nights events, but his daughter luckily helped him from spiraling too far down.

The hours leading up to the funeral were spent trying to feed and change her and having Polly come back early to show him the ropes. Anna was dressed in a small black dress and wrapped in the soft blanket Polly had brought, her cries echoing throughout the shop as everyone gathered their things.

“She’s gonna be a little hell-raiser, I already know.” Polly said.

“Good. Maybe she can take over this place someday aye?” Tommy said, placing his cap on as Polly nestled her into the car with her.

“If she wants to that is.” Polly said, closing the door and looking at the little bundle. Tommy started the car and drove off towards the fields, the bonfire sending smoke into the air upon their arrival.

Tommy stopped the car and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as he sat there.

“Are you alright? We can take a minute if you need it Tom.” Polly asked, putting her hand in his shoulder.

He wiped a stray tear from his eye and ran a hand over his face before looking back at his little girl. Her eyes wandering over him as he sat there.

“No. I’ll be fine. We’ll be fine, we just have to say goodbye that’s all.” He said, getting out of the car and gently picking up Anna.

She protested at first, her eyes welling up with tears as she looked around, but they stopped once she saw her fathers face. He was grinning slightly at her and stroking her hair, trying to make sure she was alright.

“She’s okay. She’s probably bloody overwhelmed, poor thing. It’ll be like that for a while, but you can do this Thomas.” Polly said, walking towards the field.

“We can do this right Anna? We have to say bye to mummy alright? It’ll be okay my love.” He said, her cries stopping as he walked with her in his arms and towards the wagon and the bonfire.

The smoke invaded everyone’s lungs as the flames grew around the wagon. Everyone who knew her back when they dated coming together to say some nice words or to offer up small prayers.

Tommy couldn’t say anything, fearing he’d break down, but he stood there holding their daughter, throwing a rose towards the flames and silently thinking of her. Hoping she’d watch over them while she was up there.

As the ceremony ended, he wiped a stray tear away and carried the little girl around the remains of the fire, trying to think of a plan for their new life.

Anna mumbled as he sat with her on a nearby log, giving her rose petals to play with from one of the leftover bouquets.

“Those were your mums favorite.” He said, hearing her mumbling in baby babble.

“M-mama.” She said lightly, looking out at the fire. Thomas felt his throat closing as she said it, wishing nothing more than to bring her back.

“Yes love...Mama is gone but dads got ya now love. She loved you so much...” He said, tear running down his cheek as he kissed the top of her head. She looked up at him as he held her on his lap, still gripping his hand like a security blanket and smiling like Y/N.

Over the next couple months they both grew used to each other’s company. She was babbling more and not crying as much, but she could always sense something was missing. Thomas was home more now than he’d ever been, always keeping an eye on her and taking her to the shop when he’d go to work. Everyone loved her though, as they all took turns watching the little girl.

“She’s doing so well. I know Y/N would be proud, Tommy.” Ada said, patting his shoulder as he stood at the window, looking at the night sky.

“She would aye? I’m seeing more of Y/N in her each day. Only a matter of time before she takes Finn out though.” Tommy said smirking.

“I can’t wait to see that.” Ada said, slowly walking away to do her paperwork.

Tommy walked in his office to see Finn playing with her, giving her random toys as she sat up in a chair, and watching her throw them to the side as soon as she saw her father.

She smiled her little smile and threw her hands up towards him as he walked to her, crouching down and scooping her up as she giggled.

In the silence between them he’d often look up after the long day and see the moon, hoping Y/N would be looking back at them from up there, and he’d whisper to himself that they were alright, hoping in some way she’d know they were.

Tag List:

(If you’d like to be added/removed just shoot me an ask!) :)

@msbzowy, @nofckingfighting, @aranoburns, @sighonahurricane, @ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes, @gaytommyshelby, @wowjeena, @fifty-shadesof-tommyshelby, @inglourious-imagines, @thebloodyshelbys, @tsolomons, @blinder-secrets, @reveparade, @shelby-fanatic, @ta-ka-shi-ma, @psychkunox, @peakyxtommy, @captivatedbycillianmurphy,@dreamwastakenx, @lovemissyhoneybee @thomashelbyswhore

#wierdestmoppet #katiesrequests #katiesfics #peaky blinders #peaky blinders imagines #peaky blinders fanfic #thomas shelby #tommy shelby #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby x female!reader #thomas shelby x y/n #katieswiplist

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jaepies · 4 years ago

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𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙣 - haikyuu!!

oikawa x fem!reader

mafia au

chapter 5 : fate

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

the air was suffocating.

like a thick blanket, it wrapped around you and was intertwining with your mouth; bubbling with putrid sensations. it trapped your airway shut preventing oxygen from entering the complex system of the lungs. you failed to breathe, your hands bound by ragged pieces of fabric that surprisingly halted every move you made.

every second ticked by, every second you grew weaker.

your eyelids felt heavy again, feeling dejected you submitted into the devil's wishes and let slumber sweep you into another fantasy. a world where the circumstances were different and life upheld its joyful status.

fate is a humorous thing, some are blessed with a fate that brings them glory and delight but every once in a while the jokester that is fate plays practical jokes on the lesser people. fate shrouded them with despair. you had accepted that you were simply one of these lesser people, like the sky; death seemed to be looming over your head at every corner you turned.

your poisoned fate was cemented; no escape could be seen so whatever was to befall your way in these fleeting moments - you would accept it with clenched teeth and slap a false smile on.

a rather powerful strike to the face is what gave you a rude awakening. your eyes springing open at the sensation of throbbing, only to view unfamiliar faces peering at you with disgust.

your eyes shot to the perpetrator of the slap, the guilty man made no effort to disguise himself as the bald man had his hand still raised in the air.

his hand had blushed with red colour as an aftereffect of waking you. silence sat on his lips; no words were needed as the frown he displayed spoke all the words for him.

"k-kageyama do you think she can hear us?"

to the left of the dingy room were two juvenile looking boys. one of which had an orange flame for hair and tentatively clung to the taller boy whom you assumed to be the aforementioned 'kageyama'. the young boy was evidently discomposed by your presence which was ironic since they were the one who captured you in the first place.

"idiot, she's awake of course she can. i thought you were dumb but i didn't realise you were this dumb."

"kageyama, you shouldn't say things like that to your friends and you aren't exactly the brightest star in the world either."

"you aren't even making sense right now? at least i'm not some crazy maniac who bounces off the walls all day, every day-"

"do you guys ever shut up? you are both as dumb as one another and that's final. you both are freaks who deserve each other."

a blonde boy with glasses interrupted the bickering pair, clearly bored at their antics as he wore a displeased scowl on his face.

"everyone please calm down, we have a guest present. we should at least be courteous and introduce ourselves."

the three students fell silent at the older man's stern voice and you did too. terror coursed through your veins causing you to freeze. one quick glance and these boys seemed harmless however if there was anything that you have learnt in the previous days is that there is always more than what meets the eye.

*cough* oikawa *cough*

the man spoke with such conviction that a small child could cry upon hearing his voice.

suddenly it clicked.

they appeared to be around the same age as you and caught you on your way to meeting up with another gang. when entering the gymnasium, it was like a ghost town. tumbleweed might as well have rolled along the slippery floor.

the aoba johsai volleyball team had been played with.

these boys were karasuno, the gang you were supposed to have had a peaceful and hassle-free transaction with.

"i guess there's no need to introduce ourselves then. you seemed to have figured it out yourself, smart girl you are."

when preparing for the transaction, a first-year called kunimi who you had gotten to know in the short space of time had written a profile on each of the members of karasuno. Iwaizumi ensured that you had it memorised like a second language.

it all came rushing back to you and these unfamiliar faces became clearer than they were a few seconds ago. the man who spoke to you held the same position as oikawa as the leader of the group, he was no other than sawamura daichi.

you were never able to grasp the ability to mask your emotions, daichi must have been able to pick up your abrupt hostility as a reaction to the epiphany.

"what do you want?"

the bitter-tone rolling naturally off your tongue, you kept your guard up.

the information on these men was limited as they were a slowly rising gang. with the various member changes, it was a frustration trying to gather knowledge on the fallen crows.

"we don't really want anything. only for the district to know that we are back."

the words were dripping in venom, you could tell that daichi enjoyed watching you squirm.

the toxicity being emitted by room was overriding your senses and it was taking everything in your will-power to maintain your composure in front of the gang.

"but why this way?"

"where's the fun in just assassinating people for power's sake? the most pleasurable way is to take an object so precious to someone that they are forced to do whatever you want. that's how you gain leverage."

bile steadily crept up in your throat, ready to make its exit if daichi were to utter one more syllable. subconsciously you had placed all your bets onto oikawa, hoping that he would storm in and rescue you.

"god that's sick and twisted. i hope karma slaps you in the face before i do. "

"oh sweetheart~"

hearing the nickname was like a punching bag to stomach. it disgusted you at how sickly sweet it sounded, at how easily he said it. behind the smirk he held was a sadistic and warped shell of a man who made you feel nauseated to the stomach.

"you have no idea who you have gotten yourself involved with. we are merely the tip of the iceberg, once you fall down this rabbit hole there is no crawling out of it. consider this experience a warning."

"i know what i have signed up for. since i have met you, i have met the worst already. there's not much more which the world could throw my way."

"you can try and fool me with your tough girl act-"

you could feel the hot breath of daichi fanning your face as he lowered his stance to your height. his sly gaze pierced right through you, creating an even more uncomfortable atmosphere. you turned your head as he spoke, not wanting your brain to endure the pain of even looking at the corrupt man.

"-but i see right through it."

droplets of spit took refuge on your hair as his words were accompanied by saliva escaping his dirty mouth.

then you realised,

you were a lesser person. fate did not want to treat you like you were royalty. instead, it thought of you as a dismal teenager whose life could easily be disposed of.

you were a damsel in distress with no prince charming coming to protect you and fight in your honour. no matter how hard you tried to fool yourself into believing that you were not alone. the reality was more genuine than the empty words which oikawa had spoken to you.

you were tired. this whole night had been incredibly taxing on your brain and regrettably, Daichi was right, you were afraid.

so afraid and fragile.

you were just going to shut your eyes and put your mind at ease. in time you would surely meet your demise...

it was as if lightning had struck the door,

an ear-splitting thud was heard from the mouldy door and a cloud of smoke had been created as a consequence of the intrusion. the silhouettes who were the cause of the disruption stood concealed by the fine, yellow dust.

maybe,

just maybe,

fate had allowed you a little more time.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

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devinescribe · 4 years ago

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With The Memories

Chapter 3 to '100 Promises'

Chapter 2 | Chapter 4

Warnings: Swearing, violence, weapons, bullying, blood.

"Haha, come on (Y/N)! You don't want to miss this, do you?" The boy shouted excitedly. You two had gotten permission to go off to a festival by yourselves. He had been on a trip with his parents for two weeks, and it would be the first time you two saw each other since then. You giggled, running down the stairs. "No, give me a second!" You shouted back, basically jumping into his arms. He laughed as you hugged him, burying your head into the crook of his neck. "I missed you! I'm so glad you're back," you said gleefully. He smiled, letting you go to push up his glasses. "Well, let's get going," he said. You nodded, grabbing his hand as you two walked through the crowded streets of Tokyo.

"And there was this really cool arcade with tons of games! I was really surprised that they even let me go, but it was more of a way for me to let them have alone time. Well, it was more mom's idea than dad's, but still, I want to take you there one day!" He excitedly rambled about his trip. Over the past year, Niragi's mother had noticed the way she treated you and her son was wrong on so many levels. So, she apologized to you, saying that she knew what she had done was wrong, and that it was ok if you didn't forgive her. Forgiveness wasn't something that came easy to you, especially when it was someone who had wronged you so much. But once you saw that she was trying to change and making an effort be better, you did. "Aww, that's so cool Gigi!" You shouted. "(Y/N) that nickname is so embarrassing..." he muttered, the tips of his ears turning pink. You laughed softly, apologizing.

You two had walked around, going on different rides, and trying different games. You had won a lot of games, and so had Niragi. "I'll trade you 5 ring pops for your sour patch kids," you said, holding them out to him. "Hmm... ok!" He said, switching the sweets with you.

The last game Niragi played, he had decided to give the prize to you. "Oh, is that your girlfriend?" The person tending to the game stall asked. You both shook your heads. "My apologies, well, you won so pick your prize young man," they said. Niragi, being more attentive than most, saw how you had looked at one of the stuffed animals on the wall. He pointed to it, and they got it down for him. They winked at him, whispering a 'good luck', before letting you two on your way. "Here you go, (N/N)," he said, giving it to you. Your eyes lit up with joy. "You're giving it to me? But you won the game," you asked, hugging it tightly. "Because you deserve it. I left you for two weeks," he smiled, patting your head. "Thank you!" You chirped, grabbing his hand, leading him to other places around the festival.

Niragi stood on the roof after Chishiya left, remembering the memory. It had only been a few years ago, when you were both 16. Could you really be here in the Borderlands? Or did Chishiya find out about you through someone, and now was using you as a way to piss him off? Or as a way to find a weakness in him? He looked out towards the people partying below. "All so pathetic. Having a party every day, every night as if none of them die. As if none of them could die right now," he scoffed out loud to himself. He tried to make his mind think of anything else, but he couldn't. She was the only thing on his mind. The girl who had been by his side for years.

"Niragi! Where are you? This isn't funny anymore, come out!" You yelled into the darkness of the empty park. You two had started a game of hide and seek, but it had gotten late, and yous still hadn't found him. You began to worry about what had happened to him, but pushed the thoughts aside, beginning to look more. "Niragi! Niragi Suguru, if you don't come out, I'm leaving and the next time I see you, I'll beat your dumbass!" You threatened, feeling frightened of the darkness. There were a few streetlamps, which only made it creepier to you. You heard boisterous laughter and yelling, and decided to go find what was causing it. Maybe it was Niragi? You sped walk over to the noise, it getting louder as you went. You tried to walk as fast, but as quiet as you could. You walked closer, seeing it was the guys from school. You looked up the tree they kept throwing things at, seeing Niragi up there. You gasped quietly, looking around, seeing what you could do. You saw one of them had left their baseball bat over where you were, and grabbed it. You put it over your shoulder, walking to where they could see you. "Don't you have anything better to do?" You asked, looking disgusted at them. Niragi's eyes widened with excitement. He knew you were not a delicate little flower, and as much as he hated to admit it, you were braver than he ever was.

"Aw, look it's his little girlfriend," one of them taunted. "What are you? Five? And if I was? At least he would have one," you laughed. One of the boys charged at you, going to grab you, but you quickly swung the baseball bat at his arm. You heard a cracking noise, and laughed, hearing him howl in pain, rolling on the floor. The noise wasn't sickening to you. It made you feel... in control. "Strike 1!" You shouted, looking at Niragi with a smile. He laughed as well, seeing the people who tortured you two feel pain. Another one of them had thrown a rock at you, which you easily dogged. "Do better!" You taunted. Another one of them had tried to hit you, getting to close. You swung your bat, hitting him in the head. "Strike 2!" Niragi shouted from the tree, watching to see if you needed his help. He saw you smile at him again. He would help if you asked him to. But, he also knew how much fun you had putting people in their place. Well, outside of your house anyways.

You laughed, seeing as they were scared now. "You bitch!" The second to last boy yelled, throwing another rock at you. You smiled, hitting it back with the bat. It hit his nose, and he yelped in pain. You watched as blood dripped from his nose, onto his lip, and on to the ground below. "Strike three, you're out!" Both you and Niragi taunted together. The leader of the group, or as you like to call him, the biggest idiot of the group, was the last one left. He pulled something out of his pocket. "People like you piss me off. You always think you're so good until someone else has the upper hand. You've spent the last 3 years of our lives tormenting us, and now we finally have the courage to stand up for ourselves. No more defenseless little girl. No more playing nice," you said. Niragi noticed him pull something from his pocket, and quietly jumped down from the tree. He walked behind, and you saw him. Watching his movements. "You think you know it all. But I bet you didn't see this coming!" The guy yelled, pulling the pocket knife out, charging at you. 'Child's play' you thought, waiting for him to get closer before you threw the bat towards Niragi. He caught it, and you smiled psychotically, crouching down quickly. Niragi threw the bat, and it fell just in front of the boy. He didn't have time to stop his attack, so he tripped over the bat. You heard a scream, and looked over, seeing the knife had gone through his hand. Both you and Niragi laughed watching him squirm in pain. You two watched as blood poured out onto the floor bellow him. "Karma's a sweet woman!" You shouted, walking over to Niragi. He high-fived you with a laugh. "Just to be nice, I'm going to give you advice, don't pull out that knife, and go to the hospital. And don't mention us, because you will live long enough to regret it," you smirked, walking off with Niragi.

Niragi found himself laughing at the memory. "I was so useless in that instance... but her? No way. She'll survive here, I know it," he said to himself. He remembered how he thought you looked like a goddess in that moment. A saving grace for him. Not an angel, because you were far from holy, but a goddess of... well, he liked to call it karma. "Maybe... maybe I don't have to wait for a game to see her. If I know her, I know where she is," he whispered to himself. If anyone could survive these games, it would be you.

Last Boss had come up besides him. "My patrol is over?" Niragi guessed, looking at the man besides him. He only nodded. "Alrighty, well, good luck, I might be out late tonight, but don't worry because I'll be back with someone who could be highly useful to us," Niragi said. "Who might that be?'' Last Boss asked, quite curious. "(L/N) (Y/N). The most badass and clever girl I've ever met," Niragi stated with a smirk. "Is she good with weapons?" He asked. Niragi nodded. He knew you were skilled with those things. The world had let you to be. "Well, you should be telling Aguni and Hatter, not me, but she sounds interesting," Last Boss commented.

Niragi walked to the room where he expected Aguni and Hatter to be. They were there, sitting at the table, drinking some kind of liquor. "Hey, I got word from Chishiya of a talented player. I know who she is, what she can do, and have an idea of where she might be. I'm going out to find her, and bring her back here," Niragi said as soon as he went into the room. Hatter smiled his usual charming smile. "Her name? What relation she has to you and how long you've known her, as well as the skills you say she has?" Aguni questioned, keeping the stoic look on his face. "(L/N) (Y/N), I've known her for 8 almost 9 years, she's skilled in weapons, reading people, and quite intelligent as well as clever. She doesn't get attached easily, and would sacrifice others to achieve her goals, so a potentially strong player for hearts and diamonds games," Niragi stated. "Ooh, how interesting! I like her already. If you can find her bring her back, I'm sure she'd be quite good for the militals, wouldn't she?" Hatter asked, looking over at Aguni, who nodded. Niragi smirked, nodding and heading out.

Oh wow, what's this? (Y/N) isn't a scared little baby who can't do anything for herself? That's right bitches! (Your all very lovely, don't worry^_^) I got tired of (Y/N) always being a crybaby and being to weak for her own good, so we are attempting to make her a Harley Quinn type character, with the confidence of the boys at my school who thought I'd say yes when they asked me out, and the badass attitude of... well... me? I don't know, all I'm saying is, she isn't going to all like "Help me! I can't do anything for myself and everything scares me!" Kind of character. It's totally ok if your (Y/N) is like that, it's just I didn't want mine to be like that. No hate to anyone who makes theirs like what I described, you guys are amazing nonetheless!

#alice in borderland #niragi #×reader #fluff #angst #100 Promises

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cadcnce-archived · 4 years ago

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winter shippy starters || [ open ]

@more-than-a-princess sent: I'm weak for 14, so you're getting: 14. They get snowed in together and the power goes out.

Of all the things Wylan has planned and set up for, this is not among them. Yes it’s difficult to believe given all the other contrivances a man like him can set up, but if there’s one thing Wylan is not a huge fan of it’s being cold for the sake of being cold. Being an idiot outdoors is one thing but when he’s inside somewhere he’d rather be relaxing the last thing he wants to be is cold or disconnected. It comes with growing up in a more arid part of his home country, but it also comes from his body just naturally running cold.

Sonia would have seen Wylan looking a bit more fretty than usual, if that’s even a word. The blizzard that had cut through wasn’t expected to have closed the roads this early or knocked out the car they were renting together in Europe. Could he fix it? Yes, but by the time he got it running again chances were the snow would have been unwise to traverse. The smarter decision (brought up quite distinctly by his royal companion) was to shelter inside and wait out the storm. They weren’t in a rural area and as such the roads should be cleared sooner than later.

“Well hey! At least we had a good weekend on the slopes before something like this happened, right?” Wylan observes with a puff. “If this is karma trying to get at us it’s got a lot of headway to make up for. I don’t go down easy. Neither do you.” The statement is punctuated with a grin sent her way. It’s a last bastion of optimism as he shuts the door behind him after kicking away snow that had already threatened to spill through. The white precipitate was coming down in large clusters of flakes now, and he swears a half inch fell off his head just from the short time they were outside looking at the car. He shudders. If he was going to be around a continent like this more often in the future, well- he’d have to adapt to the weather. Something like this was more common than not after all.

To think he of all people would feel homesickness. He’d already been on the spiel he doesn’t know what home is, but right now- he’d accept a definition of warmth. In this case the heater in the corner of the lodge they’d rented. At least that held up a lot nicer than the car. Sure it wasn’t as nice as if they had stayed at one of the royal family’s personal homes for such an outing, but when you’ve ‘disappeared’ the princess (again) so she can get away from some overly bureaucratic nonsense for just a moment staying at a place like that would be ill advised.

“Well the good news is there’s enough food here to keep us fed if we have to wait another day, I don’t see us leaving here tonight after all. And-oh! Hell yes, hot chocolate. I’m gonna get some of this going. Still got shivers after being out in that. Crazy how fast storms like that can come around right? Wish I could be a weatherman, be wrong about every part of my job and still have people listen to me. It’s like it doesn’t even matter.” He continues musing as he turns on the electric stove after filling up a pot. Is it basic instant hot cocoa? Yes. Does he care? No. Will Sonia? Hm.

It’s a cruel poetic moment, striking just as he has everything assembled and the pot dropped onto the burner. The moment he turns the dial is when everything flashes and buzzes into darkness. Lights go off and the heat fails to rise. The water in the pot? Staying cold. Wylan’s optimism? He needs a hero. Even if that hero is his own ridiculous self.

“...oh you’ve gotta be kiddiiiiing.” He looks around the room, now pitch dark aside from the light of Sonia’s phone in the corner. There’s several flabbergasted noises from the kitchen as he fishes out his own and turns on the small flashlight on the back. The expected shine on the princess before he looks around the building. “I... hm. I can go and try the circuit breaker but I’m betting a tree fell somewhere. The other lodges are probably in the same boat as we are, well, sorta.” He doesn’t imagine any of the others in this resort have a neighboring kingdom’s princess stowed away with an assassin after all.

“So, with that in mind...” Even if it’s cracking, the bits of optimism haven’t left yet. Wylan turns the phone flashlight to the fireplace. “Might be a good idea to put that decorative little thing to use. There’s a few logs in there already. How about that.”

#morethanaprincess #inbox :: answered ic #verse :: main #wasnt sure where or how to place this with the current two arcs we have in writing #so possible side episode in europe?? hmst #i give it an hour before he's fighting for every blanket in the cabin #or sharing with sonia :^)

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bubbabobabubbles · 3 years ago

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pt.2 of my ac x bnha crossover

uhh i really don't know how to do links that'll be fun to figure out

your hair is going to be split dyed (naturally) and the right side is going to be a pristine silver the other side you pick if you cant pick black goes well for what I have planned soo have fun!

it was near the middle of the day when one of the trouble makers came to class, more specifically our golden-eyed girl. she and her counterpart had already been briefed about what was going down and what they needed to do. now that day was the day the duo was supposed to come back to school, and it was a matter of time when they were supposed to come back. they had their mutual friend nagisa shiota fill them in on what the tentacle monster could do so she wasn't surprised to see two students get called to the front with blades in their hands. the first words she ever comes from a teacher were,

"try to strike me with those knives."

now if nothing piqued her interest that defiantly did the trick. who wants a knife to the head? she watched from a higher-up place as the other students murmured and their eyes widened in confusion. seeing as they were hesitating she jumped down from her spot and stole one from someone else's hand and rushed at the man with a murderous glint in her eyes and swung.

slash

swing

swish

the students were confused by the girl pinned on the ground, she got pretty close to karasuma and she hadn’t been in the class before. who was she? why was she here? and why in the HELL was she trying to stab their teacher? they all stared in bewilderment until karasuma's voice broke them out of their stupor, "I'm assuming you're [redacted] (y/n)? where's akabane karma, I heard you two are always together." with his almost monotone voice it seemed like more of a statement than a question.

"he was still sleeping and I was getting bored. I'm also assuming you're not the ugly octopus we have to kill? or are you and you just look like that so you're not disgusted with your own looks, ugly ass mother fu-" the girl gets interrupted by seeing a head of blue hair, "hi nagisa! is this the octopus or is he an actual human?" the girl was giving a bright smile, with her face still being held on the ground, but still smiling nonetheless. the class however was shocked, how did this sweetheart of a human being know this vulgar girl?

"no that's karasuma. i thought I showed you pictures?" the golden-eyed beauty (cause you're beautiful) finally escaped the grown man's chokehold and responded, "I mean yeah, you did. i was probably sleeping through. you and karma have long enough conversations as it is, it was probably the day i moved into his house." another look of mild shock came across the class. just who is this girl? well, it seems that she picked up on the confused looks she was getting and finally introduced herself, “oh hey everyone. please call me (y/n) happy to meet you.” the class looked at her and deadpanned. why was she so cheerful for class?

“the only reason even got close is because no one could sense you.” the girl that was finally upright looked at the teacher with a raised eyebrow and stated with a small smug smirk, “you could sense me i know it. i was just faster than you.” the teacher just stayed quiet, knowing it was true. ignoring the amazed looks coming from her peers she walked up to the blond female she stole the green blade from in the first place and handed it back to her with a wink, "this is yours, thanks for letting me borrow it." a light flushed look came to nakamura and started stuttering. with a laugh (y/n) motioned for karasuma to resume his teaching.

everyone was still standing outside while karasuma was talking and finishing his lesson, everyone was quiet standing to listening to him. what people had not noticed yet was the student standing on top of the hill with strawberry milk in his hand just chilling and watching from afar, waiting for a certain someone to notice him. as those two certain people turned around one had the reaction he expecting while the other didn't look like he knew what he should do to do.

"KARMAAAAAAA"

"hey there angel." the demon-like male chuckled to himself as the girl attached herself to his front after sprinting up the hill they were on and he supported her with one hand since he had his strawberry milk in the other, "you seem happy this morning what's up." she just smiled like a child, "karasuma is a good teacher I like him!" this made karmas interest peak. (y/n) was like him, neither of them liked teachers, both of them have wanted to kill teachers in the past. what was so good about this one? "oh really?" as the two conversed oblivious to the curious looks the rest of the class were giving them.

"yo nagisa, how are you doing? it's been a while" the sudden foreign voice interrupted their thoughts, "karma... you came back." this made karma give a close-eyed smile which sent shivers up the blue-haired boy's spine, especially since (y/n) had a small one to match.

karma walked down the hill with the girl still situated around his front with his hands holding her thighs and her hands around his neck to hold herself up. "so this is the infamous korosensei? i didn't expect nagisa to be completely right about that part, you really do look like an octopus!" he let the girl's thighs go in favor of setting her down, which she let him do.

in exchange, she gave a small grin and hid her hands behind her back. karma nodded to her and they walked up to their teacher in a sweet manner, thinking they were going to introduce themselves korosensei started to talk, "you're _____ (y/n) and akabane karma correct? i heard both of your suspensions were finished today. BUT i don't think that's an excuse for both of you to be late, and (y/n) you didn't need to attack a teacher the first time you show up here and come back." the yellow octopus' face turned purple with an 'X' in the middle. karma gave a soft and short chuckle.

"sorry it's hard to get back into things you know? feel free to use my first name, the same thing with (y/n). we both think it's less formal." he then held his hand out to shake, "it was nice to meet you, sensei!" something that korosensei didn't realize was that there was something on the student's hands, and another student slipping away. "likewise! let's make this a good and fun year."

as korosensei reached a tentacle to shake karma's hand, as soon as they made contact the tentacle gave a loud 'POP'.

"nyuu!"

karma slid an anti-korosenei knife into his hand from his sleeve, siding it around fast enough to give a fast swipe to their teacher's abdomen. not noticing (y/n) behind him, she had the same substance along her arms down to his hands, so jumping on the alien and getting into contact with about 4 tentacles making them explode as well. The knife she had acquired a couple of minutes prior was sitting comfortably in her hand, managing to cut another tentacle off with a slightly crazed grin resting on her features. the teacher finally had enough time to jump back, looking down at his arm with no emotion clear on his face.

"huh. these really do work against you and you're pretty fast. we tried cutting them into small pieces to stick to ourselves," he gestured to the back of (y/n)'s thigh and showed their hands, "but y'know i really didn't think you'd fall for a trick as simple as this. i mean as an assassin yourself you'd have to be an idiot." it was (y/n)'s turn to finally talk, "adding onto that you jumped back pretty far! aren't you a bit too frightened by some junior high kids?"

"we've heard that you had people call you "korosensei" because it means unkillable, but..."

"are you really that easy of a mark?"

'don't go anywhere, korosensei. we'll show you what it's like to be killed.'

as the duo kept lightly taunting the alien teacher kadae looked over at nagisa who seemed to know the two, "nagisa, it hasn't been long that I've been here and joined class-e so I don't know them. what sort of people are they?" with kadae asking the question a couple of the other student's tuned in so they could listen in as well.

"well for both of them, we were all in the same class for two years, i know that karma and (y/n) have been friends for years before that though. when we were in our second year, both of them were suspended for committing acts of violence repeatedly, even though whenever (y/n) fought she was always provoked first but none of the teachers believed her and since she's usually on edge it's not easy to sneak up on her to do anything. those are the things that landed them in e-calss" when they looked back at the two walking towards their general direction they just stared. "but with the situation we're in, they're probably going to be at the top of the class."

others looked at the light-haired boy in mild confusion, kadae finally asked, "what do you mean?" for a second nagisa took a breath looking at the two flipping the rubber blades around, "if you're looking for people that are proficient in weapons, sneak attacks, and foul play. you can bet those two are some of the best, and they'll probably excel. (y/n)'s really good at hand-to-hand combat too."

once the students got into the classroom and got situated, korosensei gave out a quiz, they were supposed to finish this within a certain time limit but the yellow man had been punching the wall with his tentacles making a squishing sound that started to annoy everyone there.

"what is korosensei been doing?"

"he's doing wall punches isn't he?

"yeah, karma and (y/n)'s comment's probably got to him. he's probably mad."

"his tentacles are too soft to do any damage, though."

okano seemed like she finally had enough of it and looked up from her desk with a scowl on her face, "that's it! enough with the squishing sound! we're taking a quiz here!" korosensei turned and nodded his head with vigor. "p-pardon me!"

in the back of the class terasaka and his buddies looked towards (y/n) on karmas lap, "why does she do that?" the red head looked at the girl in his lap and looked back up again, "we're very close and she's tired cant you see?" her breathing was even and her eyes were closed, no one even noticed she got up from her seat to go and sleep in karmas arms.

the three males shrugged and asked loudly, "so anyways, karma. you sure about this? the monster's pissed." yoshia looked back at the couple and spoke up next, "and we're sure as hell not getting involved." muramatsu then gave his two cents to the situation, "sure you two wouldn't rather be secluded at home again?"

karma gave a quiet chuckle as to not wake the sleeping girl in his arms, "if you were about to be killed, f course you would be angry." at that moment (y/n) decided to stir and say something about the situation, "it's a bit different to just having someone fail miserably and pissing himself instead."

terasaka being the prick he is this early in the show yelled at the newly awaken girl and red-headed boy, "wha- i didn't piss myself! are you two looking for a fight?!" karma being well... him, didn't lose his temper and kept quiet while (y/n) stuck her tongue out and pulled down her bottom eyelid. korosensei heard the last comments and decided to speak up, "hey, you guys over there! don't make a ruckus during the test!"

'tell that to your tentacles.'

"sorry korosensei but (y/n) and I have already finished," he pulled out a singular ice cream cone filled with strawberry icecream, "so we're just going to sit here now and I'm gonna eat my gelato." korosensei still looked angry, "not in class you won't!" korosensei paused between his words, "tha-that's my gelato i bought from Italy yesterday!"

'it's yours?'

karma looked up with a fake gasp while taking a small bit on his tongue, "oh it's yours? i just found it chilling in the staff room." he handed it off to the sleepy girl to hold who took it with care, taking a small bite surprising some of the people in the class, cause who bites their ice cream man?

"it was such a pain to fly through the freezing stratosphere to keep it from melting!" karma gave a smile while (y/n) just looked up at their teacher and took another bite making the other people in the room grimace, besides karma.

"is that so? well whatcha gonna do about it then?" she took another bite, "hit me?"

kororsensei's face turned red with anger. "I will not! I'll just take what's left of it." he began to walk(?) (glide??) over to retrieve the frozen treat until, "come on now, hand it ov-" a popping sound was heard from down below. korosensei had a look of shock cross his eyes, seeing one of his tentacles was gone for the second time that day, around him on the ground were red BB pellets.

karma and (y/n) had taken out their guns and began to shoot at him, (y/n) being slightly faster had shot one off with a white BB, while the others kept missing since the yellow octopus began doing with a cold sweat beginning to drip of his head.

"gotcha again sensei!" karma laughed while (y/n) gave a small grin, korosensei gave a groan in disapproval. the two troublemaking kids had walked up to their teacher the shorter of the two in front. their classmate's eyes were wide at the scene happening before them.

"we'll use these tricks however many times this takes. neither of us really care if it disrupts the class." (y/n) was the one who spoke up this time, "if you don't like this," she pressed her gun to his chest, "then you can kill us, along with our families."

karma walked in the front now opening his mouth to say something, "but from that moment on," he 'stabbed' korosensei with the remaining gelato (y/n) had put back into his hand prior, "no one will ever view you as a teacher. they'll all view you as just some murderous monster." karma took a step back, letting the gelato go, leaving a red stain on his robes.

"we'll be the one's to have killed your existence as a teacher"

"here's our tests by the way, the answers are probably all correct." (y/n) handed the papers to their teacher. "bye sensei! let's play again tomorrow too!" karma turned back to give a quick wave (y/n) doing the same with a small grin on her face, "we'll see everyone tomorrow as well!" as they were walking out he slung an arm around her shoulder and walked out.

'they've always been quick-witted.' nagisa thought to himself as korosensei wiped off the gelato with a sigh. 'those two have always been the same though...recognizing there's a line korosensei can't cross if he wants to continue being a teacher.' his teacher looked down at the wipe with the red looking like something else, 'karma's are going to use some cheap tactic to irritate our teacher. but they'll probably end up using (y/n)'s intelligence which can see others true intentions and his skills at handling others, no matter the type to clash with people.'

"they both seem like smart student's but, just as karma said," he held up thier papers karma's showing a 100 and (y/n) showing a 97, "if i want to remain a teacher I'm not allowed to kill or hurt them." he flew faster after putting the papers away. "so how am i going to deal with both of them?"

it was finally the end of the day, "see ya, nagisa!" said boy raised his hand in reply, "yup! see you tomorrow!"

"hey, look it's nagisa!" some kid came up behind him, continuing with his conversation with his friend, "he must feel right at home down in e-class." his dumbass friend replied, "what a lame guy. he'll never make it out of there unless he shapes up." the conversation just kept going, nagisa's eyes shining with self-doubt. "plus, i heard that (y/n) and karmas suspension is over now, i heard they're both in e-class too!" when will they shut up? "that's the pits! i would rather die than wind up there!"

glass shattering could be heard from both sides of the males, "really? you'd rather die?" a familiar voice rang through nagisa's ears. "how about right now then?" the other voice that normally accompanied it spoke. a small screech escaped the chubbier ones mouth, "akabane! ______!" they ran away not living up to their words with obvious fear reaching across their faces.

karma and (y/n) threw their glass bottles behind them, "ha like we'd actually do it."

'who'd want another suspension after discovering such a nice plaything?'

the duo walked over to their friend with steady steps, "karma, (y/n)..." nagisa started but the red headed male interrupted, "so nagisa, there's something we wanted to ask you." the trio walked through the scanners, scanning their passes as they went through. "we see that you've got a few notes on our teacher and that you know a few things about korosensei." nagisa paused for a second to think about his response. "uh, yeah. kind of."

"does he really get mad if you call him octopus?" (y/n) interfeared.

"an octopus?" he thought back to a paper that was graded, "uhm no i think it's the opposite. i mean he always draws himself as an octopus, and he always picks the octopus in video games. and when he was digging around in the sandbox..." 'octopus pot'

nagisa sweatdropped at the memory. "so if he's making jokes like that, i'd say that the octopus thing is kind of like a trademark, a one-line gag." karma laughed to himself, "i'd just thought of a silly idea." nagisa looked at (y/n) noticing she was being quiet and not being surprised when she was getting talked to by some blond kid, "what are you up to now, karma?" still not looking back he responded, "I'm just happy." the teen finally turned around, "i was just thinking about what i'd do if he was just some monster, but it's turning out to be he's an actual teacher."

the train passed behind the boy making it darker and his golden eyes stand out, a sadistic smile coming across his face. "so i finally get to kill an actual teacher." this is something no one has seen in a while, "i mean, the last one died went and died on his own accord." nagisa gave a small gasp but kept his emotions to himself.

(y/n) had finally finished her conversation with the blond guy that was honestly horrible at flirting by telling him that she had a boyfriend. after he backed off and apologized, she found out his name was kaminari denki and that he went to U.A. that's where her older sister went. they did end up trading socials after having a really fun conversation and agreed they could be friends.

after that, she went back to her friends as they got onto the train and they went home for the day.

#bnha #assassination classroom #x reader

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purplesurveys · 4 years ago

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1127

1. What is one thing you will never do again? Watch The Hours. Film itself is great, but is way too triggering.

2. Would you rather be twice as smart or twice as happy? I’d take happiness easily. It’s not bad for the most part to make mistakes and I’d rather be too clumsy than be altogether miserable.

3. What happened the last time you cried? It was the day of what would’ve been our anniversary and at that moment I was alone in my car at a parking lot (waiting for the office to open) on a gloomy day. I just had to cry and let my feelings out for like 5 minutes to accept everything but I was immediately fine afterwards, haha. Grief can be funny.

4. What happened the time in your life when you were the most nervous to do something? My first job interview. It was my first adult thing ever. They never got back to me - very professional of them - but I was still grateful for the experience nonetheless.

5. What would your parents be surprised to learn about you? That I was in a whole ass relationship for technically 6 1/2 years. They probably have an inkling by now, but only about me being in a relationship. I’m sure they would be very surprised if they ever found out how long it had actually gone for.

6. What’s your worst habit? I pick at my toenails when I’m nervous or stressed. I tend to do this when I’m doing a work task that I particularly dread, and sometimes I’ll end up being fixated on the habit for like 10 minutes straight and not get anything done.

7. What superpower would you have for one day? Time travel, just to take quick trips to multiple decades and see how life was like during those times.

8. What fictional character do you have the biggest crush on? Matty from 13 Going on 30 would be one of them. Albert Finney’s character in Two for the Road is also charming as fuck.

9. Where would you live if you could live anywhere in the world? If money wasn’t an issue, probably somewhere cozy in like Switzerland or Canada.

10. What is your most bizarre pet peeve? Not necessarily a pet peeve but I get extremely uncomfortable when someone hands me a gift then they insult the gift while in front of me, saying it’s not a great gift or that I probably don’t need it, etc. Filipinos also have this habit of saying something along the lines of, “You earn way more than me so you’d probably think this gift sucks” like how do you want me to react :(((((( I love receiving gifts and the idea of being thought about already means a lot to me, so it just makes me wince a little bit when I hear statements like the above.

11. Who knows you the best? Gabie, probably. I’ve changed a lot since then, though.

12. What after school activities did you do in high school? Clubs were mandatory extracurricular activities in my high school; in my time, I joined the table tennis and yearbook clubs.

13. What “most likely to” superlative would you be most honored to receive? Idk, we didn’t have those in school. I probably would have been honored to get a journalism-themed one though; something like Most Likely To Write for NYT or Most Likely to Win a Pulitzer or something like that. Obviously that’s changed now and I’ve long let go of journalism as a passion.

14. What’s the last book you really loved? I haven’t read in a long, long while.

15. What was the greatest television show of all time? I don’t watch a lot of TV so I’m not the most credible decision-making body for this lol, but out of all the shows I’ve watched the best one would easily be Breaking Bad.

16. What’s been your favorite age so far? 16. Life was insanely easygoing back then and everything fell into place for me at the time.

17. If you could go back in time, what is one piece of advice you would give your younger self? Know when it’s enough. Be kind to yourself.

18. What one thing would you be most disappointed if you never got to experience it? Have kids.

19. Apologize or ask permission? I don’t understand the relationship between the two.

20. Unlimited love or money? I would love to never have to worry about finances ever again.

21. If you knew you would die in one week, what would you do? Take a week-long leave for work, spend all my money, bond with my dogs, throw a party for my closest friends, and honestly, make my peace with her.

22. What’s your most listened to song? Spotify doesn’t show that feature, but I bet it’s from Paramore or Hayley anyway. It would be impossible to know my most-listened to song of all time, like if we took into account my Spotify, iTunes, etc.

23. Beach vacation or European vacation? I need a beach vacation badly, but a European vacation would be a new and different experience. I’d take the latter.

24. If you could have been a child prodigy what would you have wanted to be skilled at? Playing the piano.

25. What’s the first thing you would do if you won the lottery? Depends on how much I won lmao. I’d probably retire this early if the money was big enough since I’m pretty stingy anyway. But generally, I would like to pay off whatever bills my parents are currently paying for, get back the car that we had to sell because of the pandemic, and maybe go for a solo vacation or five heheh.

26. What celebrity would you trade lives with? Kylie Jenner, for a day. Just so I can briefly have a taste of how being that rich is like.

27. If you were a performing artist, what would you title your first album? Nope.

28. What story do your friends still give you crap about? Staying with Gab despite the red flags that glared for four whole years is one of them. Angela will also never let go of that one time I tried some kind of fruit juice in high school and I described it as ‘packs a punch.’ It’s understood as a super Westernized idiom where I live and literally no one uses it in a casual sentence, so it was a hit with her and now we use ‘packs a punch’ whenever we want to describe something awesome or surprising.

29. If earth could only have one condiment for the rest of time, what would you pick to keep around? Mayonnaise and I will die on this mayonnaise-coated hill.

30. What is the ideal number of people to have over on a Friday night? Ideally? At this point? Like 20. I would love for that to be the case on the first Friday we can consider the Philippines COVID-free.

31. What was the worst age you’ve been so far? Sorry for yet another incoming Paramore reference but they literally have a lyric that goes, “22 is like, the worst idea that I have ever had.” Before turning 22 I used to think it was a weird line, like how could 22 possibly be unenjoyable? Now I’m 22 in a pandemic going through a rough breakup and I can’t even see my friends nor work in my first workplace ever.

32. What is your weirdest dealbreaker? If they wanted only cats as pets. I can deal with a dog and a cat, I guess; but cats were never fond of me so I feel like I’d struggle with this situation lol.

33. What fictional character reminds you most of yourself? Mr. Peanutbutterrrrrrr. Has a lot of love to give, doesn’t always use it on the right people. Also lives on pleasing others.

34. Do you believe in karma? Just to a tiny extent, in how I would want people’s awful actions to come bite them in the ass one day. It’s not a philosophy that controls my life and the things I do whatsoever.

35. What was your favorite TV show as a kid? My absolute favorite was Hi-5, with the original cast. As I got older my interests shifted to Spongebob and The Fairly OddParents.

36. What is the weirdest thing you find attractive in a person? I don’t think it’s weird, but I don’t hear thighs too often when people list down their favorite physical traits. It’s certainly one of mine.

37. What Jeopardy! category would you clear, no problem? A Friends-themed one, obviously. This reminds me of the Jeopardy night I had with some friends a few nights ago! That was so much fun, and Andi makes really great and fun questions hahaha.

38. What is something you’re superstitious about? I don’t think I am about anything.

39. What is the scariest experience you have ever had? Maybe that night my grandpa went into a drunk rampage. I was 9, right in his line of sight, frozen and scared shitless, and I didn’t know who he was going to strike next.

40. Who is a non-politician you wish would run for office? I never really think about this. If someone’s a non-politician then there must be a reason they aren’t, lol.

41. What cheesey song do you have memorized? Little Things by One Direction is very cheesy and it’s one of my least favorite songs of theirs, but I still have it memorized out of habit.

42. What one dead person would you most like to have dinner with, if it were possible? My great-grandpa died all the way back in the 70s, even before some of my aunts and uncles could meet him. It would be cool to spend time with him.

43. Do you think it’s important to stay up to date with the news? Yeah, absolutely. I have the stomach for it lol, so I always monitor what’s happening locally and globally. Skipping the news from time to time is fine because I get how anxiety-inducing and depressing some events can be, but there’s a huge difference between ignoring the news for your mental health and being indifferent altogether. I’d immediately judge anyone who’s the latter, and would assume you are incredibly privileged.

44. What is the best present you could ever receive? My money refunded -____________- I had food delivered to my director, Bea’s house as a surprise earlier today, but apparently I ran into a scammer driver and the fucker drove away with the meal I had bought for Bea. I reported the driver and the situation, and thankfully the customer service rep of the food delivery app quickly responded and said they’d return the full amount I paid for; but I still haven’t received it.

45. Would you give up one of your fingers if it meant you’d have free wifi wherever you go, for the rest of your life? No. Mobile data exists for a reason.

46. What’s the first thing you’d do if you were the opposite sex for one day? Check out my voice.

47. If someone told you you could give one person a present and your budget was unlimited–what present would you get and for whom? I’d love to surprise Angela with an overseas trip that would last for like a month. Traveling is one thing we have yet to do as best friends.

48. What is the nicest thing someone could say about you? Nothing particular, but it makes me happy when people call me strong and when they validate the shit I’ve gone through over the years.

49. Giant house in a subdivision or tiny house somewhere with a view? I would take the giant house. When it comes to my own place, I would want to have a lot of space to roam around.

50. What is the weirdest quirk your family has? Nothing is coming to mind.

#surveys #survey

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razorblade180 · 5 years ago

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Rosebud part 14

Some days go by fast. Other days go by incredibly slow. For Ruby, it was the ladder. Deep in the woods of Anima she sat on the porch of Ren and Nora’s orphanage with kids around the age of ten circled around her in amazement as she told them stories of her adventures. Each one more amazing than the last until the Sun was setting on the crisp winter day. Funny, she’d never particularly loved the cold but lately it was so inviting. Most likely because she was in comfy sweatpants and being pregnant made her body feel like she was a furnace. The phrase bun in the oven never felt more real. Soon it would be over though. In fact, it would be considered a day over cooked right now.

Ruby:Ok, story time is officially over.

Children:Awwww!

Little girl:But I wanna hear more about the food fight!

Little boy:Yeah! Also how do you ride a locker. I wanna try!

Ruby:Hehehe, now, now, I gotta save stories for later. Plus I bet Ren is almost done with dinner. Don’t wanna miss that now do we?

Children:Okay….

They all slumped down with puppy eyes. Ruby wasn’t naive. She’s seen this tactic; she might as well be the inventor of it. Yet it was working on her!

Ruby:Tell you what, wanna hear the song I sing to my baby? It’s practically one of the few I can actually sing well.

Children:Yaaaaay!!!

Ruby:*clears throat* Dream of anything. I'll make it all come true. Everything you need is all I'll have for you. I'm forever, Always by your si-

The front door opened and Yang came walking out with baby Kovu in her arms. The little guy has gotten pretty big in just about a year. He was wearing a black onesie and enjoying being swayed.

Yang:Ren says dinner is ready for you little ankle biters. You have five minutes to get to the table if you want dessert.

Terror spread on the children’s faces before they ran inside.

Yang:Wash your hands!

Ruby:Look at that. You have one kid and now you know how to master them all.

Yang:I think you’re forgetting who helped raise you. If anything, you’re my first child Ruby. It’s actually very comforting seeing it like that.

Ruby:It’s also emotional and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t make me cry. I’ll need all the energy I can muster when this little procrastinator decides to be born.

Yang:Like mother like daughter.

Ruby:Ah! I don’t remember giving you this bedside manner when you were blown up like a balloon. Kovu, your mom is being mean to your aunt.

Kovu does nothing but giggle and wiggles his ears.

Ruby:Fine, take her side.

Yang:He knows better than to upset his food supply. Soon you’ll be on straight solids mister and I can be free.

Kovu looks at Yang for a moment in silence. She’s a bit stunned that he might’ve understood that. Then Kovu starts tugging on her tank top and Yang’s eyes squint at him while Ruby chuckles.

Yang:I don’t think he likes that idea.

Ruby:He’s a simple boy. Boobs are his life.

Yang:Don’t lewd my son or I’ll make fun of….whatever gender your kid is. Why can’t you be a normal person and know ahead of time.

Ruby:I like the surprise. Nora knows but that’s because her and the nurse here have done basically everything. I’m surprised she hasn’t told Jaune.

Yang:He still on patrol with the others? He should really be right by your side.

Ruby:I wish he was but we agreed keeping these woods safe is top priority. Can’t afford to get careless; not this time.

Ruby rubbed her stomach slowly as she remembered a time very similar to this. Hard to believe it’s been three years. Even so, the ache still felt somewhat fresh. Yang reached out and rubbed her shoulder. A comforting smile eased Ruby’s worries and she returned the smile genuinely.

Yang:Now is the time to look forward. Wouldn’t want your anxiety to harm the baby. Aren’t you the one usually preaching about hope?

Ruby:Yeah, the curse of being a good leader strikes again. All my advice coming right back at ya.

Yang:Gotta bring it up all the good ones so you’ll remember it for your little one.

Ruby:My little one had to come out first! I’m tired of being pregnant Yang.

Yang:Yeah I went through something a little similar. Due date was coming soon and this little guy stopped being as active. I started eating ice so the cold stirred him up. Ghira even tried spooking me into labor. Oh! Let’s try that. Kovu, scare your cousin.

Ruby:You’re so ridiculous sometimes.

Yang crouches down to Ruby’s belly and holds Kovu to it. His tiny hand reaches out and starts tapping it.

The two sisters laugh at his attempt.

Ruby:Sorry Kovu. Good atte-

Yang:Ruby?

Ruby:Yang...go get the nurse and Nora.

Yang:*eyes widened* Really!?

xxxx

Out in the woods, Jaune makes his rounds around his designated area like the others. The only thing distracting him from the cold was the thought of his wife. This was all for her safety and peace of mind and for that reason alone, he’d put up with anything.

Jaune reached for his scroll and brought it up. He checked on his friends' aura levels. Still high; little to no fighting has happened then. That’s all he could ask for.

Jaune:Everyone okay?

Blake:Yep

Weiss:Naturally.

Qrow:All clear.

Raven:Not so much as a beowulf on my side.

Tai:Really? I’ve killed like five.

Raven:Stop worrying about everything and they might stop seeking you out.

Tai:Mmmm nope. I need the exercise anyways.

Jaune:You need any help?

Tai:I’m just fine. Don’t worry about me for one second.

Qrow:Says the worry wart. Besides, I think you have something coming your way kid. Can you see the sky?

Jaune jumps on a branch to see above the treeline. What he saw was plumes of black smoke and the sight of birds fleeing the scene. ”Someone’s killing grimm? In my area?” He said, confused. ”Who could be out here besides-”

His heart sank to his stomach and he gripped his tight. Without a moment of hesitation, Jaune darted towards the scene. “I’m checking it out now. Everyone be ready for the worst.”

“Roger!” They all said with conviction in their voice.

It didn’t take Jaune long to get where he was headed. Each step he took brought growls and the familiar sound of metal striking bone armor. ‘It’s not them, it can’t be them. We took every precaution.’ He kept telling himself as he slowed down and crouched into the shrubs. ‘Relax Jaune, don’t get impatient. Observe and go from there.’

He took a deep breath and parted the plants in front of him. There was a forest clearing. Dozens of Ursa laid fading away while a massive one stood on its hind legs and roared. Below him was a figure in a cloak. Jaune could only see his back but it was easy to see how worn out the person was.

The cloak was all covered in dirt and their shoulders rose and fell with an intensity that could only mean deep breathing. Still it looked like they remained calm. Their stance low and poised as their hands ready their cane to the side. Wait, Jaune recognized that cane.

The Ursa slammed its weight to the ground and a shockwave blew cloak back along with the person. Jaune popped up from his hiding spot. “Ozpin?” The figure turned around. Yep, it was him.

“Hello Mr. Arc. How-“ another roar interrupted the headmaster and the Ursa charged. Ozpin was caught off guard.

“Look out!” Jaune screamed as he cloaked himself in aura and rushed over there almost as fast as Ruby. He slammed his shield right into the Ursa’s head; making it stumble back. He kept up the momentum by spinning forward and chopping the head off in one swipe.

Ozpin:Nice form. Oh how far you’ve come.

Jaune:Oz, what are you doing out here?

Ozpin:I thought that was obvious. Killing grimm like the rest of you. She’s almost due, right?

Jaune:H...How did you know we were here in the first place? This was supposed to be tight lipped.

Ozpin:It is. The only one who was supposed to know I was here was Mrs. Rose herself but as you can see, things got a bit messy.

Ozpin took a knee and held his head down with his cane supporting him. If it wasn’t for the eye and white hair, He’d looked exactly like how Oscar did after training.

Jaune:How long have you been out here?

Ozpin:Not too long. About a month.

Jaune:A month!?

Ozpin:Yeah. That Ursa Major was number 257 by the way. All the office work is making me rusty.

Jaune:You know if the other’s saw you here then they might have some choice words with you right? I appreciate you being there for Ruby but your agreement-

Ozpin:I’m well aware. It’s why I’ve been trying to remain inconspicuous. This isn’t me trying to build good karma and I have no intention on asking anybody for anything. If anything this should be my way of thanking you all for your years of service and making sure you can continue living life the way you want. It’s the least I can offer. Besides some advice.

Jaune:I think I’m a little old to be your student.

Ozpin:Hardly. Humanity might as well be kids compared to my age. You’re never too old to learn regardless; you’ve all taught me many things for example. I’m grateful for that.

Jaune:....Fine, lay it on me professor.

He sat down in front of his old professor to humor him. Oz couldn’t help but smirk as he stood up like he was about to give a lecture.

Ozpin:This part of Anima is known for slow moving grimm that are spaced well enough apart that the success rate of a traveler running away is pretty high in comparison to other places. I imagine that is one of the reasons why the orphanage was built here.

Jaune:That’s right.

Ozpin:Not a bad idea. When I arrived, I killed thirty grimm at most in my first week. Next week they were more agitated and mobile. Makes sense; Mrs. Rose was here and so were you. Childbirth is an anxiety filled event that happens by nature. However, the grimm kept showing up by the dozens and I got very busy as you can see. Which means...

Jaune:More people showed up? I knew that. Practically everyone is here by now.

Ozpin:Yes but you have to think a bit bigger than that. More people showing up isn’t the problem. It’s everyone who showed up is on edge and attracting the grimm; you all are causing the dangers that you’re trying to prevent. No doubt you could handle them together but if it wasn’t for me then at least half of you would be needlessly exhausted. That would be a real problem if a grimm of frightening destruction showed up, or a rogue maiden out for blood.

Jaune felt his heart stop for a moment. Oz was right. He’d been so caught in his head that instead of being proactive like he thought he was being, he was actually just reacting to his own fears. The only reason the plan was working was because everyone was more than skillful to handle most problems.

Oz walked over to Jaune and got him on his feet. He put away his cane and rested his hand on Jaune’s shoulder.

Ozpin:Strength and diligence are very important but not the most important right now. You all have that in spades. I bet there’s a million things on everyone’s minds right now. All valid fears no doubt. Give them a chance to get it all off their chest. A leader protects the mind along with the body. Just you do as a husband, and just like you’ll do as a father. *smiles*

Jaune:You think that highly of me huh?

Ozpin:Well you are the one who has done the most growing. Then again, that’s only natural seeing how you were….let’s say a late bloomer.

Jaune:That was almost a complete compliment.

Ozpin:Hehe, my fault. You know, I never had a son but looking at former students like you and Ren really makes me feel like…

Oz’s words trailed off and he stopped speaking. Instead he stood right in front of Jaune and examined him thoroughly. Hair, clothes, frame. He’d really grown from his first day. Jaune looked a little embarrassed and confused as Ozpin nodded and smiled with what seemed to be pride. Then, he walked off. Jaune said thank you and got only a wave goodbye. Class was dismissed.

Jaune almost wanted to call out to him but stopped; his scroll ringing nonstop like an alarm. Everyone was messaging him. Yang most of all. ‘How have I not noticed this?’ He thought answering Yang’s call.

Jaune:Hey what’s-

….

Jaune:RIGHT NOW!?

xxxx

Yang:Yes right now! I know we had this system in place but I think you should be-

Ruby:AAAAAAAHHHH!

Yang:I think you should be here for the birth!!!

Jaune:I’m on my way! We all are.

Yang:What about-

Jaune:I’d Cinder wants to show up then that’s her death wish. We’ll handle her together.

He hung up before Yang could even respond. The girl sighed to calm herself before looking over at her sister. Ruby was sweating bullets on a hospital bed they have gotten earlier. The nurse was going back and forth with clean attire for the baby and making sure Ruby’s vitals were okay. She’d been healthy all through the pregnancy but better safe than sorry. Natural births could get tricky sometimes.

Nora had the honor of actually being the person delivering the baby. She’d done it more than anyone around and it was showing. Her face displayed laser focus on the task at hand and she was dressed in proper hospital attire except for her hair which was pulled back into a bun. Truly she was the rock Ruby needed right now.

Nora:You’re doing great Ruby! Keep it up!

Ruby:Agh, you...you’d think this would be easier the second time. Hehehe….

Yang:*grabs her hand* Jaune’s on his way. All of them are by the sound of it.

Ruby:That’s good...wouldn’t mind some more happy faces in here.

Nora:Then let's make them really happy by making them to the party. How about they see you with a beautiful baby in your arms? Ready?

Ruby:*tightens grip* To get back to a life of combat skirts? You bet.

Nora:*smiles* One...Two...THREE!

xxxx

‘Almost there. I can’t believe this is actually happening.’ Jaune thought as he sprinted through the forest. Jumping over tree roots and gaining speed along the way. The man didn’t miss a step.

The sounds of his boots going across the floor began to get drowned out by other footsteps. With each passing moment a friend came into his peripheral that joined him in the journey back to Ruby. Weiss was the first, followed by Blake, and then Tai.

Blake:You nervous?

Jaune:Hell yeah, but it’ll all work out. I have you guys. I don’t know how far I would’ve made it otherwise.

Weiss:Think nothing of it. This has always been a group effort.

Jaune:Not Just with this. I mean everything. School, adventures, regular life problems, you’ve helped so much in so many ways. I couldn’t ask for better friends and family.

Tai:That goes both ways you know? We’re thankful for you just as much as you are for us.

Weiss:We love you, you dunce. I can’t imagine anything we wouldn’t do for you or Ruby honestly.

Blake:And we know it’s mutual. Now and forever, we’ll watch each other’s backs.

Jaune:Thanks guys. *smiles*

Tai:Hey, where’s Qrow and Raven?

On que a bird flies right past them and gains some distance. “That’s totally cheating” Weiss pouts as she can feel the heels of her shoes getting a bit worn. The bird flies around a tree and transforms back into Raven. “Need some help you slow pokes?” She grabs her sword and opens a portal. The group smiles and happily jumps through it. They come out the other side in front of the orphanage with Qrow leaning against the door waiting.

Qrow:Good thing I looked so you all could just leap. What if I was inside the house when Raven made that portal?

Tai:Sounds about on brand really. The kids would’ve had a good laugh.

Jaune:Never mind all that. Is Ru-

“Waaaaahhh!”

A cry from inside was heard loud and strong. Jaune’s eyes widened. It could’ve any kid. From the small kids to Kovu, but somehow, he knew it wasn’t. The cry, it belonged to someone new.

Jaune said nothing and walked towards the door. Everyone fell in line behind him with cheerful smiles on their face. They gave him space. It was his moment more than theirs after all. Ren stood with a child in his arms when he noticed them coming in. He gave his best friend and leader a smile then pointed upstairs. Jaune nodded then went right towards them; the crying getting louder as he got closer until it reached its peak with him right outside a wooden door. His heart felt like it was about to fly out of his chest. Jaune grabbed the door knob but felt too anxious to turn it. A fire in his chest that didn’t frighten him, but made this moment surreal. Then, a voice cut through it all.

“Don’t worry, I got you. Nothing will ever harm you…”

Without anymore thinking, he walked in. From that moment on, the winter night felt incredibly warm. There she was. His closest friend. His wife. Holding their newborn child in her arms with such grace and gentleness that it took his breath away. Despite what Ruby would probably think, Jaune doesn’t think he’s ever seen her look this angelic. She hasn’t even noticed him yet. Her attention focused on soothing the baby with the same song she used all pregnancy; the same song for Dustin.

“I’m close by, I’ll stay here. Through all things I will be nea- Hmm?” Ruby finally felt the presence of multiple eyes and looked up. It was a pleasant surprise to see so many loved ones staring in awe from the door while. Then there was Jaune. Speechless in front of her bed with tears in his eyes. Ruby had already been crying for several minutes and smiled back at him. Though she hadn’t realized just how happy he was; why they were all thrilled. It wasn’t just the baby. It was Ruby herself. Jaune was looking at deep pools of silver that shined like the moon’s reflection on a still lake. For the first time in a long time, Ruby finally looked like herself again.

Jaune:H...Hey…

Ruby:Hey there stranger. Looks like you were right this time around. Come say hello to your daughter Carmine.

Jaune’s smile grew even bigger. He’d forgotten all about that silly wager from long ago. Slowly he walked to Ruby’s side and she held the little one up so he could see the new addition to their lives. What he saw was beautiful. Carmine had come out with already a full head of blonde hair that grew darker and red at the tips. Her cheeks were all rosy; he’d assume from crying but he hoped that maybe she had a natural blush.

Regardless, what really captured him was when she opened her eyes. Purity couldn’t describe them. They were eyes that stole his heart in an instant. Maybe it was because he was already so emotional. Or maybe, it was because it was because they were just as captivating as Ruby’s. An intense silver that showed him anything possible.

Jaune:Hey Carmine Arc Rose. Welcome, to the best family ever.

Part 13

#rwby #rwby rosebud #ruby rose #jaune arc #ruby x jaune #rwby lancaster #weiss schnee #blake belladonna #yang xiao long #taiyang xiao long #raven branwen #qrow branwen #lie ren #nora valkryie #ozpin

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ohwereusingourmadeupnames · 5 years ago

Text

Stuck With U

Pairing: Peter Parker/Tony Stark Rating: Mature (M) Notes: This is fluffy goodness. Check out the song Stick With U while you ready this beauty. Warnings: mentions of quarantine, COV-19. Summary:

Tony hears the voice of an intelligent stranger in his Philosophical Ethics class and is immediately hooked. When he sees the person attached to the voice, there's no turning back.

Or, the one where Tony meets Peter in a coffee shop and an epic love affair occurs. It's based loosely off of Stuck With U.

Read it on AO3 here

I'm not one to stick around One strike and you're out, baby Don't care if I sound crazy But you never let me down, no, no

Tony always figured his humanities credit would always come back to bite him in the ass. For most of his college career, he’d gotten away with sticking around the engineering building – being a genius in the high school setting made bringing college credit in with him a brilliant thing. Despite having the ability to stay stagnant in the part of campus Tony liked the most, he wasn’t going to get to graduate unless he took a humanities course. And since karma was the ultimate bitch, the only thing available during his final year at UT Austin was Philosophical Ethics. What the actual fuck was philosophical ethics? To top off the increasingly delicious shit sundae, the humanities building was all the way on the other side of campus – and the class was in the middle of the afternoon. The petty part of him wanted to just skip the damn class every week to make a point. Who he was making the point to, he didn’t really know – which is why he found himself trekking across campus in the late September heat every Monday and Wednesday.

The first couple weeks were dull, the mundaneness of going through the syllabus and getting introduced to the course always seemed like a waste of time. The first real lecture happened the third week on Wednesday. The concept of virtue ethics wasn’t too complicated – how to live life and find the balance between virtue and vice. Dr. Sadler turned out to be a pretty interesting conversationalist and kept the entire class engaged throughout his talk. Tony didn’t think he’d be so interested in what the man had to say, but at the end of class – his hand hurt from writing notes and his mind was running wild with all of the information bestowed upon them. Other than the long walk from the engineering lab, Tony wasn’t hating the class. In fact, there were a few other people in it that were just as engaged in the topics and asked questions, rose their hands to answer intelligently, and sometimes even beat Tony to the punch.

One such day, Tony spent an extra second looking at the passage about Socrates before thrusting his hand into the air. For such a cool guy, he prided himself on his intelligence. When a soft but sure voice a row in front of him spoke up before he did, Tony tilted his head and watch with wonder as the guy recited the exact thing that’d been passing across the front of his mind since the question was asked. The feeling of being miffed stuck around for a second, then a weird sort of warmth settled. He hated to admit that he recognized it as respect and pride. Whoever the heck that kid was, he had a good brain on his shoulders. Tony forced himself to think of anything but that for the rest of class – his attention easily placed back on the older man at the front of room. The professor was the most interesting one he’d ever had. If Santa Clause wore Pink Floyd suspenders and brown instead of red – he’d be Dr. Sadler. It was easy to watch him walk around the lecture hall and blather on.

The day before the first test of the semester, Tony found himself in the little coffee shop not far from the building he was slowly getting accustomed to. He spotted it heading to class the previous day and decided to check it out. With his backpack over his shoulder, he figured he could stick around and get some studying done, too. The line wasn’t very long, so he was standing in front of the register in no time. Looking up from his phone, Tony started to order, but stopped dead in his tracks. The human person in front of him was the most beautiful thing in the entire world. His hair was on the longer side, the ends curly. The barista’s eyes were big, brown, and bright – the irises of them like warm chocolate. The thing that distracted him the most, though – was his smile. It was soft, like a shared secret and after a second of staring too long – it looked a little uneasy.

Laughing to himself and shaking his head, Tony got himself together. “Can I get your biggest sized espresso, please?” Tony asked, his voice a little scratchy from the lack of talking all morning. The guy behind the counter nodded, his smile taking on the adorably shy quality from before. “Can I get you anything else?” he said, and Tony’s eyes immediately bulged. He recognized that voice – this was the kid who answered oh so eloquently a couple of classes before. “This is probably going to sound weird, but you don’t happen to take Philosophical Ethics with Sadler, do you? There was this guy the other week that said some great shit about Socrates and his take on virtues – you sound like him, but what the fuck do I know?” Tony got out in what seemed like one breath. He shot a sheepish smile in the other guys direction – his shoulders shrugging. “I do, actually. My friend Wanda and I call him Santa. This is our third semester taking one of his sections. I’m Peter,” the other man replied, his cheeks turning the slightest shade of pink.

“Santa. That’s funny. I thought that, too. The suspenders really drive it home,” he slipped his credit card across the counter as he spoke – his eyes following Peter’s fingers, their length stupidly distracting for some reason. “Peter – nice to know you. I’m Tony. And I have to say – I was pretty impressed,” Tony finally managed to get out – if he didn’t then, he probably never would. The pink on the other’s cheeks turned to red and he tucked his head. “That’s something coming from Tony Stark,” Peter’s eyes flashed with mischief when Tony looked at him suddenly. “Yeah, I know who you are. You TA’ed in the physics lab in front of me last semester – I heard you tear down a kid in the dullest of tones. Kind of badass, dude,” Peter finished, the man passing him his card and receipt. “Oh, well – I aim to please. Do you have a break coming up anytime soon? I was going to study for Sadler’s test tomorrow – I could use a brain like yours.” He blushed at the way the words sounded in the space between them – but felt a bit better when the guy was nodding at him, his smile the entire width of his face.

“I’ll be off in ten minutes, actually. If you camp out in the back of the store, you’ll get the best Wi-Fi. I’ll come find you.” Peter flashed him a smile and turned his attention to the person behind him. They were probably pissed; he’d been standing there stupidly for way too long. Running a hand through his hair, Tony leaned against the pick-up counter and waited for his coffee with a dazed look on his face. What were the chances that the brainy intellectual he couldn’t decide whether he wanted to pat on the back or slap upside the head – was so goddamn beautiful, too? It didn’t seem fair. Hearing his name called, Tony pushed himself out of his thought and grabbed the cup – the warmth of it immediately grounding him a little. He didn’t wait for any of the heat to seep out, his tongue very used to his dumb ass self sucking down coffee straight from the pot. The coffee was tasty, and the extra jolt of caffeine immediately made him feel a little more motivated.

By the time he’d gotten his books out on the table and his laptop open, Peter was heading towards him. The pile of books in his hand made him seem a little younger than he probably was – the long sleeves of his hoodie were covering his hands, adding to the adorableness factor Tony started tallying in his head. Peter sat down and spread himself out, their clutter on the table taking up the entire surface. Looking up from his screen, Tony found himself smiling – Peter’s eyes were so nice, and they were staring right back at him. He tucked his lower lip between his teeth and ducked out of the eye contact, his fingers absentmindedly playing with the pen he’d set on top of his notebook. “You said you’ve taken his courses before, right? How are his exams? I bet a guy like that doesn’t change ups his teaching style all that much,” Tony said, breaking the silence. Peter nodded, the gesture obviously one of his customary reactions. “The format changes every time. The way he asks his questions doesn’t. The review we went over yesterday did a pretty good job mapping out all the things to look at.”

The hour went fast after that. They spent the entire time laying out a study guide highlighting all the information they went over in the review session and the things they noted more than once throughout either set of notes. When the blaring alarm cut through the haze of their little bubble, Tony had to blink a few times to remember where he was exactly. Tilting his head, he watched Peter start to collect his things, a soft smile on the guy’s face. “Thanks for sharing your break with me. I don’t think we’ll have to do much studying after making this thing,” Tony remarked, his fingers pointing to the several page document they put together. He caught the light pink hue on Peter’s cheeks and felt himself fall just a little. He didn’t know where he was falling exactly – but this guy did something to him, something that made him feel a little itchy and a lot warm. Like maybe he had a Peter allergy, but the histamine response was so, so, so worth it. “I like the way your brain works, Tony. See you tomorrow,” Peter said, his books once again tucked into the swell of his arm. He walked backwards for a second, looking Tony over – then he turned and headed to the back.

Tony watched the door swing back and forth, a dopey grin on his face.

The test went unsurprisingly well – Tony didn’t have to spend much time at all thinking deeply about any of the questions. The study guide they put together prepared him more than adequately. When he walked out, he noticed Peter was also getting out of his seat – so he waited. Their eyes met when Peter turned his paper into Sadler and the guy broke into a smile as they walked out the door together. “You’re a much better study partner than Wanda. That was so easy,” Peter admitted, his hands knotted together in front of him. “I’ve never finished one of Sadler’s exam that quick.” Peter’s cheeks were ketchup red and getting cuter by the fucking second. “I’m happy to have been a big help, then. I like him. He’s one of the smartest guys I’ve ever met, and I feel like that’s something coming from me,” Tony snorted at the look on Peter’s face – the pureness of quirked eyebrows and a crinkled nose so terribly hard to resist.

“You’re kind of an ass, aren’t you, Tony Stark?” Peter asked, his nose still crinkled, lips pulled into a shit eating grin. “Yeah. I’m kind of an ass. If you let it, it’ll grow on you,” Tony reached out and lightly punched the other’s shoulder. “Do you have class, or can I show you what I’m working on for my honor’s thesis? You were outside my lab last semester, right? So that means you’ve at least taking thermodynamics – you’ll understand a good bit of it.” Tony stopped his rambling when he noticed the look on Peter’s face – he looked like a kid that just got invited to Wonka’s chocolate factory. After a little bit of discussion, the day before, Tony found out Peter was a couple credits shy of being a junior and was soaring through the biomedical engineering program – the same way Tony did his own. Despite the guy’s shy tendencies, Peter was very smart and very outspoken about it. He smiled over at the younger guy and pressed a hand to his shoulder again. “You in or not, Petey?” Tony prodded softly, his smile widening at the enthusiastic head nod. “I’m in, I’m in. I haven’t seen the honors’ labs, yet.”

It was a little silly, how easily things seemed to settle into place. Tony considered Peter one of his best friends almost instantly. When Tony sat down on Peter’s right the next class, Wanda and all of her scarlet haired glory didn’t utter a word. The three of them talked like they’d always been a trio both before and after class – Tony found out very quickly that Wanda was very strategic, he’d need to watch his ass around her. Tony also found himself heading to the coffee shop at the edge of campus every Tuesday at 2PM to spend Peter’s hour break with him. They usually looked over Ethics, the homework a lot easier now that he was talking to a human and not the stupid robot he’d built for a robotics competition his sophomore year. The more time they spent together, though – the less of it they spent talking about Ethics. Tony knew the testing ideology now, so he wasn’t all the worried, anyway. No, he appreciated when the topic would stray away from philosophy and tread into the more personal. Peter was a conundrum and kept getting more complicated week by week.

Tony didn’t really do the feelings thing. Throughout most of his time on his own, he kept to himself. It was easy to get lost in another person; he’d seen enough people do it. He could still remember pre-Bucky Steve – the man was the life of the party. Tony liked to be by himself, and yet – he slowly started to find himself looking forward to Tuesday afternoons and the hour and a couple extra minutes Peter spent sitting with him, pretending to study and talking about all of the things. The week Peter missed class Monday and then wasn’t at work Tuesday, Tony was a little worried. It’d been practically an entire semester now of meeting up and he wondered a couple things when he didn’t have a way to contact him – why the hell hadn’t they ever exchanged numbers, and why did it seem so monumental, Peter not being there? Curiously, Tony waited until Wanda wasn’t busy behind the counter and nodded at her – his empty cup in his hand. “Where’s Peter?” Tony tried to casually ask, his fingers pushing the cup towards her in aid of his effort. “His aunt passed away. He’s been putting together her funeral for this afternoon.”

Tony felt his stomach drop. Peter mentioned May practically every time they talked about life outside of academic pursuits. It seemed like she was the most important person to Peter and the fact that she was suddenly gone – Tony knew how much the man must be hurting. Thanking Wanda, Tony didn’t wait around for the refill of his cup, his fingers already typing furiously on the screen of his phone. Google immediately showed him the obituary and where the funeral service was being held – if he wore the blazer in his car and got there in the next twenty minutes, he could make the service. Determined, Tony stopped in the bathroom and splashed some water on his face before grabbing his things and heading out to his car. A quick stop at the florist by the church and Tony was dragging his ass to the back of a small chapel.

Despite the place being small, there were a lot of people stuffed into the pews. It was obvious by the way Peter talked about her; how much she was loved – the people in the room just proved that. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house (Tony included), the ceremony was really beautiful and Peter’s brief, but powerful eulogy tied the entire thing together. Tony didn’t know the woman, he felt a little out of his league being there, but it felt good to support another person. Their eyes locked for a brief minute during Peter’s kind words about his aunt and for a brief second – he didn’t look as sad, anymore. Tony’s wobbly smile must have been encouraging, because the last half of his words were spoken more confidently. At the end of the service, Tony waited in the back pew for the crowd to say their condolences to Peter – he didn’t want the man to see him crying, either. He got himself together in the meantime – his eyes a little itchy from the blazer he’d been rubbing them on.

When he approached Peter, Tony immediately noticed how distraught he looked. He couldn’t imagine what it was like lose someone so special. Tony’s parents passing was hard, but he took it in stride – they weren’t very close. Peter looked like he might keel over – so Tony pulled him close, his arms tight around the younger man’s waist. He felt hands fist into his jacket, Peter’s nose pressing into the front of his shirt. Tony held him a little closer, his arms tight around him until the shaking stopped. He didn’t know when his hand started to move ever so slightly up and down the small of Peter’s back – but the touch was there, and it didn’t seem like he was going to be pulling away from him anytime soon. Peter looked up at him after a while, his cheeks tear stained, and eyes rimmed in what looked like an uncomfortable red. Without thinking, Tony let a thumb brush away a stray tear. “Your words were beautiful,” Tony mumbled, the lily in his hand a little crumpled from the neglect of it during their embrace. Peter didn’t seem to mind the bent stem, the boy bringing the flower to his chest. “Thanks for coming, Tony.”

A little while later, Peter found him sitting out on churches steps, his blazer now over his knee, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up. He’d been watching all of the people try and get the last little bit of Peter’s attention before they headed off to do who knows what. Funerals were funny things – people flocked to them, like the thoughts of someone else dying but not them were enough to overcome the grief. He remembered his parents’ soiree – there were so many people he’d never seen before, it felt more like a banquet dinner than a human person’s funeral. He kept his head down and waited until it was just Peter and a small violet urn – the last little piece of a life the man would no longer live. Tired eyes looked at him and, in that moment, all Tony saw was gratitude. He didn’t rush to give him a hug, or say how sorry he was, Tony simply held a hand out and let Peter take it.

They spent the rest of the night eating May’s favorite Thai food, with Peter regaling him with all of the best May Parker stories. The health conscious, vegan diner waitress with the biggest heart and warmest hug. The silence they eventually fell into was nice and easy, a little bit of relief from all of the emotion they’d been wrapped up in since he saw Peter for the first time at the church. Tony didn’t know much about Pho – but could tell this stuff was the real deal. He liked learning new things – especially where Peter was concerned. A noodle hit him in the chin and the wet squish of it slapping his skin broke the silence between them. Tony watched Peter laugh for probably the first time in days and felt a little piece of him melt – just a little.

“Why’d you end up coming, anyway?” Peter asked out of the blue, his voice still heavy with sadness and unshed tears. His eyes were hopeful, though – watery doe eyes big and looking directly at him. “I don’t really know, to be honest. Wanda told me about May and it just seemed like the right thing to do. Tuesday’s don’t have to stop being our thing because something bad happened in your life. I guess – you’re kind of stuck with me.” Tony shrugged his shoulders and went back to eating – his honesty a little too much for him in the moment. He’d never spoken so bluntly to someone before – at least, not someone he was saying something nice to, someone he admittedly admired so very, very much. “Okay, that sounds good,” Peter replied simply after a while, his shoulder pressing into Tony’s chest when he leaned over to press soup warm lips to Tony’s cheek. He felt his cheeks heat up, the spot on his skin a little moist from Peter’s lips.

It was pretty easy to make more than Tuesday their thing after that.

----

So go ahead and drive me insane Baby, run your mouth I still wouldn't change being stuck with you Stuck with you, stuck with you

The transition to being a boyfriend was surprisingly easy for Tony. Peter was the one person that gave Tony motivation outside himself – the happiness he felt when Peter smiled at him or looked pleased with him was totally different, something he wanted to cling to for as long as possible. After finals, Tony brought Peter into his small two-bedroom apartment – the two of them spending the entirety of winter break together. A part of him wanted to ask Peter to stay when the spring semester started, but he eventually came to the conclusion that they weren’t quite there yet. It didn’t stop Peter from being over at his place all the time, though. He understood what it was like to hate a roommate – the whole reason he lived by himself in the first place came from dislike of having to be around other humans. So, he didn’t mind the fact that his boyfriend found his apartment to be more comfortable than a place shared with two other dudes – dudes that, if Peter was to be believed, were very disorderly and distracting.

It was stupidly nice to have Peter with him all the time; Tony wasn’t going to object to that. It was nice to come home to a table filled with engineering textbooks and a couple cups worth of old coffee. There was a certain feeling about walking in to see someone he cared for so diligently doing something – it felt like a punch to the gut more often times than not. Peter’s brain was one of the things Tony loved the most about him. Loved – funny, they hadn’t said that word, yet. Though, Tony thought about it constantly. Time went by with Peter in a way that made things seem effortless. The longer they were together, the more Tony felt himself wanting to soak up all the things that came with having Peter Parker in his life. There were so many things he wanted to do with Peter in his life and the fact that they hadn’t taken the final step was a little intimidating – the more Tony held off, the scarier it all got. The worst thing that could happen was losing Peter, it didn’t take him very long to realize that.

It seemed silly, then, when Tony started to be a bit more of an asshole. It wasn’t Peter specific – there were enough dirty looks sent his way from the general populace to know he was being a bit of a prick to everyone. He didn’t mean it, either – there was a part of him that kept using that as an excuse for his grumpiness. The deadline for his honors thesis was quickly approaching and Tony felt stupidly underprepared. There were a lot of variables that were out of his hands and the stress of not having complete control of the situation made everything seem a little more monumental than normal. And though it felt like the world was quickly starting to close in on him, Peter remained steadily beside him. It was easy to see how much Peter endured in his life – he easily let Tony’s shitty remarks and sarcastic quips fly off his back. Every time Tony was a shit, Peter shook his head and gave him space – and later when Tony came crawling back with stupid excuses and promises of many, many kisses, Peter welcomed him back with open arms.

The closer it got to the due date, the worst it got – even Tony could rationally perceive it. It wasn’t hard to see how much longer it took Peter to bounce back from the stupid arguments Tony started – sometimes on purpose, if he were being honest with himself. It wasn’t hard to notice how Peter spent a couple extra days away between his stays with Tony. The rational part of him understood that he wasn’t the only person on the planet that needed space – that he wasn’t being nice to the person he loved more than anything. He couldn’t find the words to make Peter understand the type of stress he felt, so he didn’t say any. There were so many things trying to crush him – it seemed easy to lean heavily and rely on the one thing that hadn’t demanded anything from him.

Of course – things can only take so much pressure on them before they snap. As an engineer, Tony knew that better than anyone else. The morning the dam broke, Tony pressed the home button of his phone, his eyes blinking from a surprisingly refreshing sleep. The night before was one of the best they had in the past few weeks – Tony finally felt a little better falling into a deep sleep with Peter in his arms. After the second press to the thing, he put the pieces together and realized he didn’t plug it in to catch any charge overnight. Turning over, he caught the time on the clock on what he considered Peter’s bedside table for a while and his eyes bulged. There was no way he’d make it to his advisor meeting on time. Despite consciously knowing that, Tony went into panic mode. He got up out of bed and started rushing around the room. In his haste, he almost missed the sleepy “Tony?” coming from the bed.

“Go back to sleep, Pete. I’m a goddamn mess and don’t have any of my shit together. You don’t need to see this shit fest,” Tony mumbled, his teeth clenched together in a desperate attempt to keep whatever was bubbling up under control. There was so much stress and of course he’d be late for the one thing he needed to go to – the news about whether he’d get the rest of his research data approved, the final pieces missing to the honors thesis that’d been haunting him for weeks now. For whatever reason, Peter’s softly spoken “Sorry, Tones,” made him snap – his frustration finally breaking the last remaining supports keeping everything together.

“What are you sorry for, Pete? I was so happy to have you in my arms last night that I forgot to plug in my phone. I let myself enjoy something for a second and now I’m late and not going to finish college. I’ve been working my ass off and I’m not going to finish. I’m not saying this is your fault – but fuck it all. This is the worst possible time to fall apart.” Tony kept talking as he swept around the room, Peter’s confused look only slowing him down for a second. On a normal morning, the sheet slipping down the other’s shoulder in the tantalizing way it was would’ve had him getting into bed and ignoring all of his so-called responsibilities. Oh, how Tony longed for those days. He could feel tears starting to prickle in his eyes – a combination of shame and frustration mixing together to make a hurricane of hard to handle emotions. Slipping into the first pair of shoes he saw, Tony grabbed his bag and fled the apartment – hot tears spilling down his face something he was glad Peter didn’t have to see.

The walk onto campus was brisk enough to keep everything at bay – he’d never be able to get onto campus as fast he did that day again. Getting there with a couple minutes to spare, Tony instantly felt like a jackass. Not just because he’d lost his cool, but because he might’ve insinuated that the one good thing in his life was causing a commotion – which he wasn’t. Not at all. In fact, the only thing causing a commotion was Tony himself. That much was apparent when Dr. Coulson presented him with a fully approved thesis – the latest pieces of data and all.

It felt good to finally be done with the damn thing. Better than good, actually. He felt a lot of the cobwebs from the past few weeks start to shake off and the haze clear a little bit. What he was faced with wasn’t much to celebrate – the confused look on Peter’s face still alive and present in the forefront of Tony’s mind. He wondered why Peter continued to stick around through Tony’s latest grump streak, why the man chose to stick around and be on the end of ill-timed uncertainty. For the first time, Tony understood how important it was that Peter did stick around.

Pulling his phone out, Tony started to formulate a plan – one that would say sorry and thank you all at once. With quick fingers, he sent Peter a quick text, the good news still fresh in his mind.

Tony Stark [11:12AM]: I made it on time. They accepted my thesis. I’m officially done. Tony Stark [11:13AM]: I’ve been an ass, and I’m sorry. Tony Stark [11:14AM]: I’m glad you’re still here.

He clicked the lock on the phone and tucked it into his bag. There were a few things he needed to get done before heading back to his apartment. Before his little tissy fit, they’d been planning to spend the weekend together. If luck was in his favor, Peter would still be there when he walked through the door later. Tony forced himself not to think about what would happen if the man wasn’t there, or if he stuck around just to confront him and then jet. There were so many things Tony wanted to say – so many emotions he wanted to share. He just needed the chance to get the stuff out in the open. It felt important to be able to open up to Peter like that – share his fears and vulnerabilities. Peter was the man Tony invited into his bed on a regular basis. For all intents and purposes, they were sharing everything – cooking utensils and bodily fluids alike. It would make sense that he’d be able to be a little looser with the restraint on his feelings with him, too.

The nicest part about being with Peter came from all the similarities they shared. He knew the perfect thing to bring back to the apartment as a white flag and could honestly say he was looking forward to giving it to Peter. It relieved a lot of stress – something that Tony obviously wasn’t the best at dealing with – feeling so confident in the reception of a gift. A quick perusal through Game Stop had him clutching a small black bag and feeling a whole lot better. It didn’t really matter, finding the right present. What mattered was the fact that Tony felt good and conscious enough of his behavior to want to make it right. Baby steps, and all that.

Walking into the apartment to see Peter’s black Chuck Taylor’s still piled messily against the wall by the front door was an instant relief. Tony felt his chest unclench a little bit. The steadily collecting pieces of Peter around the apartment were still there, too. The PS4 and its many cables were still sitting next to Tony’s X-Box – and the collection of Family Guy and American Dad DVDs were ensconced nicely with Tony’s Mad Max collector’s edition box set. Now that he wasn’t stuck in a rut of anxiety and stress, Tony could see just how much of Peter there was around the place. Not even noticing made the feeling of rightness sink in a little more – the simple fact that it was natural felt like a pretty big thing. Gripping the bag in his hand, Tony kicked off the Van’s he’d been wearing and walked further into the apartment.

He wasn’t expecting the coffee table in the middle of the living room to be decked out with sleek black table settings and a single rose in between them. Though the TV wasn’t on, Tony could hear the scratch of the record player across a vinyl – the noise immediately making him feel calm, like the soothing noise of rain on a rooftop. Peter walked casually out of the kitchen carrying out a big pot – Tony knowing right away that there was mac & cheese waiting for them under the top of said pot. The other’s eyes were soft when their gazes met, and Tony felt himself relax just a little bit more. He wasn’t really sure what was going on, but he didn’t mind the light smile on Peter’s lips or the delicious scent of melted cheese and butter. The one thing Tony felt certain about was the fact that he didn’t deserve the beautiful man setting the hot dish on the table – he didn’t deserve the sweetness that laid so inherently inside Peter Parker’s heart and soul.

“What is all this, Pete?” Tony asked, his hands still fiddling with the bag he’d been clutching onto. Peter shrugged and took a seat on the couch – his hand patting the cushion next to him. “It’s not anything, baby. You did good shit today. I thought maybe we could celebrate with the only dish I can cook and the rest of that red we didn’t finish the other night.” The words were so genuine and so easily delivered. Dropping his backpack, Tony didn’t hesitate to sit on the couch next to him, their thighs brushing with his movements. He set the Game Stop bag on Peter’s lap and used his now free hands to grab his cheeks lightly. “This world doesn’t deserve you, Peter Parker. Especially me,” Tony murmured. He closed the gap between them easily, their lips connecting in a way that spoke of both parties leaning forward to partake.

Pulling away, Tony let his thumb linger against Peter’s lips for a moment, his eyes greedily taking in the way the other was looking at him. It felt like a long time since he’d been able to see those eyes with so much clarity. He let that sink in, the idea that he spent any time at all not worshipping the brown orbs that looked at him with so much want and affection. “I don’t know why you’ve stayed around with all the bull shit I’ve been dumping on you, but I’m glad. I hope you know that – I’m so fucking happy that you’re here, Pete,” Tony couldn’t stop himself; the words were dripping from him like a leaky faucet – each droplet of truth a little bit bigger than the last.

Peter caught one of his hands and brought it up to his lips, Tony’s breath quickening slightly at the touch. Those chocolate brown eyes kept up their glance, Peter’s gaze smoky – a little hazy in the way he couldn’t focus on just one part of Tony’s face. “I knew who you were getting into this. You’re an asshole – that’s not a lie. I didn’t expect that to be pretty. I didn’t expect you to be bright and shiny all the time. I get that you were stressed. You’re a human, Tony. And like you said, I’m stuck with you.”

Tony couldn’t remember a time when his words being used against him felt any sweeter. He quickly wrapped Peter in a tight hug, his lips pressing against the side of his head in a tender kiss. “Ecstatically so,” Tony said in a whisper, his entire being simply overwhelmed. He forced himself to pull away, Tony knowing that if he let himself, he’d get pulled under the spell of Peter and all the peaceful goodness his boyfriend could bring. He tapped at the bag he put on Peter’s lap, a soft smile on his lips.

“I know I can’t buy love and all of that, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to try,” Peter pulled out the Nintendo Switch version of Super Smash Bros Melee while Tony spoke, his eyes lighting up. They’d been watching all of the trailers and reading up about it – it was the ultimate date night adventure. “There’s a reason why we’re so good together,” Pete said, his feet already carrying him to the tv to get the game into the console. The remotes joined the bowls on the table, and the spent the rest of the night was spent yelling at the tv, each other, and binging on way too much mac and wine.

The next morning, Tony woke up with a gratifying hangover and Peter’s entire body weight against his right side – the best reminder of the gift he constantly got to keep on getting.

The slurred ‘I love you’ pressed against his chest wasn’t too terrible, either.

----

So lock the door And throw out the key Can't fight this no more It's just you and me

Two years with Peter past by insanely quick. After publishing his thesis, Tony graduated with highest honors and scored a pretty decent engineering job with Valero. The pay was great, the hours were nice, and he got to stay in his apartment. An apartment that at the start of the next semester, became Peter’s, too. Tony wanted to be able to give Peter the ability to have a stress-free academic experience. Their schedules intersected in a way that meant they got to eat dinner together every night – it was one of those scenes out of those dream montages for such a long time. Watching Peter learn and grow in both his knowledge and expertise was a lot of fun for Tony. Many nights were spent with the two of them discussing Peter’s work – the man was following Tony’s footsteps and doing an honors thesis, too. The five-year program was the perfect way to get a head start in the professional world – and Tony couldn’t wait to see what Peter was going to bring.

Aside from their jobs, Tony and Peter spent a lot of time with each other and the tight knit group of friends they developed during their time together. Steve and Bucky were old friends of Tony’s, so they were easy to add to Friday night dinners and double dates. It was silly to think that Bucky Barnes wouldn’t get along with another human. He and Peter kicked it off instantly and suddenly, two became four. Tony met Bruce in that lab at Valero – they were both fresh out of school and starting their careers. A little commonality went a long way. He and Natasha were easy to incorporate into the chosen family they were creating. Natasha treated Peter like a mother hen – it made his heart warm to see them sitting in a chair together, the woman running her fingers through Peter’s chestnut locks. Tony didn’t know much about family – but he understood enough to realize just how lucky the group of them were. Thursday night game nights and Sunday afternoon cookouts were the regular – it was nice, they were happy.

The original plan after Peter graduated was for the younger man to join him at Valero. There were many places for a mind like Peter’s in the depths of the energy company’s labs – but a piece of Tony felt like maybe that wasn’t the right place for him. The compound Peter created was unparalleled and his research was insane – to the point where Tony spent many hours reading through it, marveling at the intelligence within the written words. Tony could cop to settling for something that was steady and gave him enough freedom to enjoy the work he was doing. It was enough – yet, Peter deserved a lot more than that in his professional life.

Which is why it wasn’t much of a surprise when Peter brought up a job offer he received in New York – he’d been bouncing around for a couple of days and Tony finally sat him down and asked outright what the fuck was going on. His boyfriend presented research in New York and while there, Oscorp Industries sent a headhunter after him – offering him a job that was hard to pass up. Peter told him about it nervously, his hands fumbling in front of him, long pauses between stuttered out words. For a second, Tony wanted to be offended – the way Peter was acting made him feel like the scariest mother fucker in the world, like he’d be so far away from supportive. Yet, he saw the slightest bit of hope in Peter’s eyes and understood where the nervousness came from. “I want you to come with me, Tony. I know, you’ve got a job here and there’s the guys – but I think we could really make a go out there,” Peter flashed a smile at him, the hope in his eyes growing with each word.

Instinct kicked in and Tony nodded, his eyes wide. “Holy shit, Pete. Congratulations. That’s – that’s amazing!” They were hugging before Tony could even blink, his hands grasping onto the material of Peter’s t-shirt. “I will absolutely move to New York with you. Absolutely.” Tony heard the words in his own ears, the certainty of them. He felt his entire stomach clench – not because he was mad or upset, but because his entire world was about to change. Everything in his entire world was about to change. Peter’s hands framed his face and the rest of the conversation was history – Tony losing his pants in celebration not too long after that.

The next couple of months were jam packed full of both Tony and Peter getting ready to move their entire lives across the country. Peter was finishing up with the last few mandatory things for school and Tony was quietly making future plans – he’d been working on a few things in the lab with Bruce, things that could change the face of energy. Given the right place to do some expansions, they could easily be onto something. While Peter prepped the final parts of his thesis, Tony put together proposals and made finishing touches on presentation material. Though they weren’t spending an insane amount of time together, it was easy to feel assured – secure in the fact that they were going to spend the rest of their lives together. They were making plans and figuring things out. Tony was content and thought for certain that Peter was, too.

It made sense – the timing. Tony’s slew of interviews in New York were the same week as Peter’s thesis approval. When the younger man dropped Tony off at the airport, he was still a little grumpy from the little dispute they had earlier. Tony could still remember the heated look in Peter’s eyes. “Why do you have to go this week? You’ve been so quiet about all of this and now all of the sudden you’re leaving? This is a big week for me,” Peter’s voice was a little raw at the end, they’d been hashing it out for a while.

Tony shook his head, the roundabout argument of the unfortunate timing getting a little old. “I’ve shown you the arc reactor plans, Peter. I scheduled all of the interviews to happen all at the same time, so I only had to make one trip – if things go the way I’m hoping, I’ll be home before you find out. I’m sorry, Pete. It’s shit timing, I know. I’ve been keeping this close to the belt because I’m nervous and don’t want to jinx any of the opportunities. I’m sorry, Petey,” Tony mumbled, his hands desperately trying to grip Peter’s cheeks, trying to sooth the other.

There was no soothing, though – Tony could remember a time when he felt as irritable as his boyfriend and shook it all off. There were important things that needed to happen on this trip – and so many of them were hanging in the air. It didn’t make any sense for both of them to be irritable the entire time Tony was away. He ended up leaving the car with a soft kiss against his cheek and a subdued “I love you” which Tony took and returned in stride. With his bag in his hand, Tony stood on the curb and watched Peter pull away, a soft smile on his lips. Turning when he heard Bruce, Tony smiled even wider – they were heading to New York to pitch their arc reactor idea to a couple of investment companies. If all went well, they’d be well on their way to establishing their own energy business. Tony wanted to have the plans in place before telling Peter – he wanted to bring something to the other man to be proud of. Shaking his head and trying his hardest to clear it of the argument, Tony followed Bruce into the airport and boarded the airplane in no time.

The first day of meetings was a total blur. By the time he wandered into his hotel room, Tony sent Peter a quick text message saying he loved him and then dropped onto the bed – his brain totally wiped. Like he figured, there weren’t too many companies willing to give them free rein on the construction and use of the arc reactor – and Tony wasn’t willing to part with such a great piece of technology. It didn’t seem like Bruce was all that keen, either – and he hoped their next day of meetings would go a little better. He didn’t notice his phone buzz a couple of different times, his body and mind lost to the land of slumber until early the next morning. He got up in a rush, the disorienting feeling of sleeping too long hitting him – his body still so tired despite being immobile for more than ten hours. Rolling over, Tony checked his phone and grimaced at the ten missed calls from Peter and the handful of text messages that were considerably more concerning.

Peter Parker [7:30PM]: Hey babe, I love you, too. How’d all the meetings go today? Peter Parker [8:45PM]: Should I take the lack of communication as a good or bad thing? Peter Parker [9:34PM]: I’m getting a little worried. You haven’t answered any of my calls, either. Are you okay? Peter Parker [11:21PM]: I guess you’re just not answering. I hope New York isn’t up in flames, or anything. Peter Parker [1:01AM]: Dammit, Tony.

Sucking in a quick breath, Tony looked over the texts again. He wondered idly how he managed to miss every single one of these – how he didn’t wake up to the buzz. The fatigue of traveling and haggling must’ve really kicked his ass. Tony pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and thought for a second – his brain still a little slow from the haze of sleep sticking around. Why did it seem like Peter was so strung out? Biting down on his lip a little more, Tony shook his head. He knew why Peter was upset and understood it. Things were changing – uncertainty was the name of the game when the entire Earth felt like it was shifting gears. Long fingers tangled into the strands at the front of his hair for a moment before Tony was typing on the screen.

Tony Stark [7:45AM]: Pete, I’m so sorry. Tony Stark [7:46AM]: I got into the room and crashed. Tony Stark [7:47AM]: The meetings were all a bit useless – but we’ve got the ones I’m most looking forward to today. Tony Stark [7:48AM]: I miss you, baby. I’ll call you when we’re done for the day.

He didn’t know how satisfactory that was, but with the time difference between New York and Texas, Tony wouldn’t be able to call Peter before their first meeting at 9AM. He knew Wednesday was the day Pete had a late lecture and liked to sleep a little later into the day. To sweeten the deal a little, Tony clicked on the camera and sent a selfie of him blowing a kiss, his eyes so soft – even he could see the shine in them. Sighing, he got up out of bed and started to get ready for a day filled with negotiating and attempting not to sell their souls. It was exhausting business, trying to prove one’s worth to the rest of the world.

Fortunately, these meetings went much better. There were two investors especially interested in the end product Tony and Bruce had in mind – they were willing to back the project with a workable and decent percentage off the top. The meeting with the bank finished off the last little bit of money they needed and by the end of the day, Tony and Bruce were business owners – hoping to lead the way in clean and sustainable energy, one arc reactor at a time. Tony couldn’t believe they actually convinced people to buy into their idea. In their time in the lab, they’d put together a protype of the model they were interested in building – the thing only missing the necessary elements to bring it together. After Tony passionately describe the construction process and the benefits it would bring – the right people were eating out of the palm of his hand. Tony and Bruce exchanged a couple of brief hugs and then they were off in their separate directions – the one thing Tony appreciated about Bruce more than anything else. There weren’t any expectations.

Excited, Tony pulled out his phone and pulled up Peter’s contact information, his thumb hitting the call button without another thought. It only took a couple rings for the man to pick up – Tony glad for the millionth time that his lover wasn’t petty or able to hold much of a grudge. Tony did dumb shit all the time – he forgot silly things and didn’t answer his phone. Peter took it with grace, the man a saint in that way. A slightly subdued voice met him on the other side of the line. “Hey, Tones,” Peter answered. Tony couldn’t help but smile, regardless of how much he knew Peter wanted to yell at him.

“Hey, baby. I know I fucked up – but I’m so happy to hear your voice,” Tony responded immediately, his body relaxed for the first time since leaving home. Peter chuckled, the sound an immediate reminder of home. “You didn’t fuck up – I was just being a little needy. You leaving got me a little scrambled. I think I just miss you,” Tony sighed at Peter’s words, his heart heaving against his chest. “I miss you, too. But I’ll be home tomorrow – just in time to pick you up to celebrate,” Tony couldn’t contain the excitement in his voice, the joint success of following his dream and Peter realizing his so nice, so fulfilling for the both of them.

“And just what all are we celebrating?” Peter asked, the background noise making it sound like he shifted while he spoke. Tony ran his free hand through his hair, fingers tugging at the ends ever so slightly. “Your thesis approval, of course,” Tony started with, his voice dipping a little, “and the opening of S&B Tech. Bruce and I found some investors today. We’ve got enough to get off the ground and get a functioning prototype up and running.” The words were beautiful coming from his lips – the happiness in his chest hard to be contained.

He heard Peter gasp, the little inhale of breath a recognizable thing – something so very Peter. “Are you serious? I didn’t know you were looking to open a company, Tony! Why didn’t you tell me?” Peter’s question was valid, and Tony thought about it when they started this whole process. “The only honest answer I can give you, Pete, is the fact that I was scared of failing. I didn’t want to make all of these big plans and end up not fulfilling them. When we get to New York, I want us to be able to build from the ground up. It’s just you and me, baby – I wanted to make sure I could give us something worthy of us – of who we are together.” Tony felt so impassioned by the words coming out of his mouth, a huge smile slipping across his cheeks with them.

There was a moment or two of silence on the line, the only really exchange was the sound of their breathing. He’d been with the man long enough to recognize the organized pause – Peter was collecting himself, getting his thoughts together. Tony stuck the edge of his thumb into his mouth to bite at the cuticle – the wait killing him ever so slightly. “I’m such an idiot,” Peter mumbled, the words just barely there across the line. “I thought you were pulling away from me, or something. Like you ran off to New York with Bruce and you weren’t coming back. You’re just brilliant and trying to make the whole world see it. I’m such an idiot and so fucking proud of you,” Peter’s voice broke at the end, a soft laugh trailing off the last couple of words. Tony joined him, his chest lightening with ever vibrating laugh. “I told you before, Peter Parker – you’re stuck with me.”

The next day when Peter got him from the airport, Tony was greeted with two hands on his neck pulling him close – their lips meeting in a hot kiss that lasted much longer than appropriate in public. When they broke apart, Peter was grinning at him, his eye wide and bright – the irises rich like melting chocolate. “Hello, Mr. Entrepreneur,” Peter said softly, his cheeks a bright pink from the flush of their kiss. Tony smirked and leaned in for another quick peck. “Hello, Mr. Parker. Are you ready to celebrate all of the great things happening to us?” Tony’s answer came with a hand slipping into his, Peter’s slim fingers gripping his tightly.

“You bet, Mr. Stark.”

----

Kinda hope we're here forever There's nobody on these streets If you told me that the world's ending Ain't no other way that I could spend it

They stuck around Austin just long enough for Peter to walk across the stage for graduation. Tony didn’t want to admit it, but he’d never been prouder of anything in his entire life. Though they were seated far from all of the graduates, Tony and the crew all got up with a roar when the announcer called Peter Parker across the stage. Summa cum laude, honors graduate, and the Ben Henson grant winner – all and all, the man was stupidly smart, and Tony was so very glad to have someone like him attached to his side. Peter eventually found them after the four-hour ceremony – he looked a little tired and overwhelmed, yet, his eyes were glowing with excitement and happiness, too. When Tony pulled him into an embrace, Peter’s arms came around him tightly. “I’m proud of you, baby,” Tony mumbled, his lips pressed against the side of Pete’s head. Pulling back, Tony saw Peter’s lower lip tremble for just a minute – then he disguised it with a quick kiss to his lips. They didn’t get much more time alone together, the rest of the group embraced them both in a huge hug – the tears that didn’t get shed during the ceremony now cascading down all of their faces. Endings were hard – and this one came with more than a few changes.

Later that evening, Tony was sitting in a foldout chair with Peter in his lap. They’d lit their firepit on the small apartment balcony and the rest of the clan was gathered around it. Bucky and Steve were holding hands between two chairs, Bruce and Natasha were idly chattering to each other from the ground where they decided to camp out after Tony finished with the food on the BBQ. It wasn’t the most high-class graduation party, but they were quickly trying to put their lives into boxes and get their shit together to move across the country. Peter wouldn’t have wanted anything more, either – the boy wasn’t used to fancy things or people making big deals out of what he assumed to be the smallest things. Arms squeezing around his shoulders brought him back from his thoughts, Peter smiling down at him. “This is the best, Tony – thank you.” And little things like that were the nicest reminders of just how good he actually had it – the simple way Peter liked to live his life was all Tony ever wanted, he just didn’t know it until he met the man.

Before leaving for the night, Steve pulled Tony aside – the older man’s hand tight on his shoulder. “Do your best to keep him, Tony. This you, the guy standing in front of me – it’s the best version. I’ve never seen you look happier. And man is he good for you.” Steve stopped then, his hand moving to wrap around Tony’s shoulders to pull him in to a light side hug. “I’m going to miss you, brother. I’m happy to know that you’ve got someone worthy standing by your side, though. Take good care of each other.” He gave Tony another brief squeeze and stepped away, his hand finding Bucky’s – who’d been standing over to the side talking to Peter. The two of them left shortly after. Their goodbyes with Bruce and Natasha were brief – their places in New York weren’t too far from each other. After the door was shut firmly behind everybody, Tony didn’t have to wait long for Peter’s arms to wrap around him – his hands finding the thick locks at the back of his head. “Take me to bed, Mr. Stark.” He didn’t need any more spurring on than that – the rest of Peter’s graduation celebration took place behind a firmly closed door, just the two of them.

The moving van came two days later, the entirety of the life they built together over the past couple of years barely fitting into a medium sized U-Haul. It felt a little bittersweet driving out of Austin – Tony did the most growing of his life in that crazy city. He met the man of his dreams, graduated college, and realized exactly what he needed to be doing in life. He owed a lot to Austin, Texas. They shared a sad smile as they pulled onto the highway and started their first leg of the journey. Peter reached over and grabbed his hand, their fingers intertwining easily. There wasn’t much to be said – leaving together, sitting across the cab of the truck packed with all of their stuff �� it was the easiest decision Tony could make. The grin Peter couldn’t keep from his face the first few hours of the drive said he felt the same, too. Though they were heading into the unknown, it didn’t feel as scary as Tony knew it could have.

Since neither of them were in any hurry to actually get there, they spent a couple weeks driving a longer route through Alabama, and then up through Virginia and into Pennsylvania. In the places either of them were eager to explore, they stopped. They took in the Atlanta Renaissance festival – which was an absolute blast. Tony had a hard time believing he’d change his lock screen from the picture of him and Peter dressed up as knights – his boyfriend’s tunic slipped down over his shoulder probably his favorite part. The day was nice when they drove through Virginia, so they spent a few hours exploring Virginia Beach – the taffy they found at a place called Candy Kitchen still making his stomach hurt from the massive amount they ate over the following few days. In Pennsylvania, they spent an afternoon in Philadelphia – the nerd in them both enjoying all of the history. The video he posted of Peter running up the stairs like Rocky got a lot of hits – and ended up scoring Tony the nickname Adrian.

By the time they actually got to the house they managed to score for a pretty decent price, Tony was more than eager to not be behind the wheel. Their adventures were great, and it was more fun than he figured either of them were expecting. It also took them three weeks, most of which Tony spent driving in some fashion, whether it was on the highway or navigating the little side streets of the places they were visiting. Despite the house being completely empty, it was nice to walk in somewhere and finally feel settled. He insisted on carrying Peter over the threshold of their home, regardless of the fact that they weren’t married, and he wasn’t the woman, thank you very much. Tony couldn’t help the huge grin that played across his face when Peter pulled him into a kiss, the younger man still tight in Tony’s arms bridal style. “It’s kind of perfect though, isn’t it?” Peter broke their kiss just long enough to get the words out – Tony’s favorite brown eyes alive, lit with passion and nerves and want and excitement.

That first night on the floor of their brand-new house was one of the best Tony could remember spending with Peter. Fatigue and tiredness fueled love making that was soft and sweet – Tony realizing that there was no need to rush, that now that they were home, they had all this time of their hands. Grown-up responsibilities were cake compared to the thought of what unlimited time with Peter Parker could give him. And when they were done, Peter slid their fingers together, Tony’s left hand tight in Peter’s right. “Do you want to be my husband, Tony Stark?” Tony sucked in a breath and turned his head, eyes wide. The dopey look on Pete’s face spoke of total sincerity and for a moment, Tony let himself soak that in. The most amazing person in the world wanted to marry him – wanted to keep him forever. Leaning forward, Tony pressed his lips to Peter’s nose, the touch lingering. “You bet your cute ass I do. Tony Parker-Stark has a nice ring to it.”

From that point on, life became about getting everything together. Their house, their jobs, and ultimately – their marriage. There weren’t too many surprised people looking back at them when they FaceTimed everyone to let them in on the news. Tony chuckled at Bucky’s “about damn time” and Peter colored when Natasha asked how good the celebratory sex was. It was hard to not be excited when Tony could feel everyone else’s joy for them. It was pretty easy to get lost in the bliss of what having Peter Parker as a partner was like, and the beautiful freedom of working for himself and himself alone. Things were good, and Tony tried to cling to every single piece of that goodness that he could.

The next time Tony looked up from the happy little bubble he was living in, another year had past and they were quickly approaching their wedding date. It was not very surprising, how easy it’d been to plan a wedding with Peter by his side. A small venue outside of the hustle and bustle of the city caught their eye early on and they snatched it up while they could. The place was small and intimate, on the right side of casual – the perfect representation of who Tony and Peter were together. Tony got his way with casual suits, his a light grey with a soft linen white shirt underneath and Peter’s a contrasting dark navy with the same white shirt to match. They didn’t sweat the small stuff and let it all come together.

At least, that’s what Tony thought, anyway.

Then, the coronavirus hit and everything about regular life came to a screeching halt. One week before they were set to get married, Tony got a call from the venue letting him know they were closing and could not guarantee a date that they’d be open again. To say he felt a little gutted was an understatement. Their entire group of friends took the week off to help Tony and Peter put the final touches together for the big day. While he got the call, Steve and Bruce were working on the labels for the small bottles of whiskey they were giving as favors for the guests. Watching the news, the past week kept Tony on edge, though he tried not to show it – he did all the things Peter asked. It seemed as if they were going to keep putting things together until there was no reason not to anymore. When Tony told him about the venue, Peter fell into the loop of Tony’s arms and let himself have a breakdown moment – their friends be damned.

Things got a little worse the next day when shit started to really break down in the city – the virus count was steadily climbing, and they were officially on a stay at home order. There weren’t better people to be stuck inside with, Tony knew that. It just hurt a little – knowing how close they’d come to actually getting married, to having that very group of people stand by their side as Tony finally got to say his vows to Peter and make the bond between them a permanent thing. Peter’s hands constantly grabbing for him or his sad eyes always looking to connect with Tony’s spoke volumes – the man just as distraught about the missed opportunity. In the craziness, it felt silly to be so down about a wedding – Peter was still healthy and safe, that should’ve been enough.

But – it wasn’t. After a mad rush to get groceries and enough supplies to take care of six adults for a while, Tony found Peter wrapped up in the comforter on their bed, his head somewhere in the jungle of all the pillows they kept there. “You doing alright, Petey?” Tony asked softly. He kicked off his shoes and climbed onto the bed behind Peter, his hands reaching until he could pull the other man closer. His lips pressed against his fiancé’s forehead without a thought, the man turning at the contact. “Don’t pretend like you’re not just as strung out. We were supposed to get married tomorrow. I couldn’t wait to see that ring on your finger,” Peter’s words were a little hard to make out, his face was still pressed against the pillow. Tony managed, though, and pulled him a little closer, his lips pressing a string of kisses against any of the skin he could reach. The tactile movement gave him a couple moments to think, his brain on overdrive – an idea finally coming to him.

“Why don’t we get married tomorrow, anyway? Natasha is ordained, she was going to do the ceremony. Let’s just – do it.” Tony sat up a little, his arms still tight around Peter’s middle. He could see the cogs turning in Peter’s head the second he put the idea out into the air. “The people in this house are the only ones that truly matter to me, Pete. I could care less about everything else – all I need is you. And someone to sign the marriage license,” Tony added as an after-thought. “There’s no reason why we can’t still get married tomorrow, baby.” He added a kiss to his last statement, the press of his lips against Peter’s a silent promise. “I guess we’re getting married tomorrow,” Peter replied with a laugh, his smile covering his cheeks – the sight of it for the first time in a few days lighting Tony’s heart on fire.

It didn’t take much effort to get the group on board with what they had in mind. Instead of walking down the aisle at the small venue, Peter would meet Tony at the bottom of their stairs. And instead of feasting on beef and brisket sliders, Steve and Bucky were going to put together a breakfast feast. It wasn’t the big thing he imagined being able to give Peter – what he felt the man he loved deserved. Yet, he couldn’t stop himself from feeling a little excited, no matter what got them there, Peter was going to be his husband - and there was no other way he could think of spending the rest of his days. He wanted Peter to have all of his time, wanted to know the feeling of losing his mind because of the man for as long he’d have him.

The early part of the next day flew by in a flash. Tony, Steve, and Bruce spent most of the day putting together the backyard of the house. They strung up white fairy lights around the perimeter of the fence to match the awning of the porch. Tony mowed the grass and etched around the fence, determined to make the slushy feel of winter disappear from the yard. The day was luckily not calling for snow, or stupidly cold temperatures, so they’d be able to enjoy some of the evening outside in the beauty of a crisp New York night. They moved all of the wooden furniture to the edge of the porch to make a small square of space where the six of them could dance to the playlist Peter spent a couple of months meticulously putting together.

Before Tony knew it, he was getting himself into his suit – the grey of it making his pale skin and dark hair really stand out. He put a little extra fuss to his hair and even let Steve trim up the sides of his beard that he couldn’t see – Tony wanted to look perfect. With the look pieced together, Tony glanced in the mirror. The cut of the jacket fit his shoulders perfectly and led down to his trim waist. The pants were cut right above his ankle, his socks with Peter’s face on them just barely visible. He laughed when Bruce presented them both with a pair the night before, they were the perfect thing to break up the simplicity. Stepping back, Tony nodded at his reflection, his nervous hands running through his hair – fingers just conscious enough not to ruin the rugged look he was going for. Steve and Bruce flanked his side in the mirror for a moment, the three of them looking smooth – like they were heading to the party of the century, instead of the living room of Tony’s house. Wrapping his arms around them both, Tony couldn’t keep the smile off his face. “Thanks for being here, fellas. Means a lot.” Neither answered, they simply squished Tony between them.

The second Tony saw Peter start to walk down the stairs, he knew it wouldn’t have mattered where they did this – his soon-to-be husband was an absolute vision. The navy looked good on him and the smile that spread his cheeks from ear to ear completed the look – the happiness radiating from him something Tony knew he needed to work hard to keep around. The man was stunning, and it took Tony a second to realize tears were tracking down his cheeks. He couldn’t think about anything other than the fact that with each step he took, Peter got that much closer to becoming Tony’s husband. Their gazes locked, glistening chocolate brown meeting the lighter honey color of Tony’s. Peter’s pace visibly sped up after that, his smile stretching impossibly further.

Peter’s hand slipped seamlessly into the crook of Tony’s elbow and they took the final few steps together – Nat was set up at the far side of the room, the sliding glass doors behind her letting in natural light. Steve and Bruce were set up on Tony’s side and Bucky on Peter’s, the whole crew huddled together for the most important day of their best friends’ lives. Stopping in front of Nat, Tony turned until he was looking directly at Pete, his hand holding the other’s tightly in his own. They didn’t break eye contact – not even when Nat started to talk.

“It’s a little unconventional, this whole wedding. Which, I think is pretty perfect for Tony and Peter. Since I’ve known them, they’ve been the weirdos of the group. They always bring off the wall movies to movie night – and don’t even get me started on the boardgames they pull out when it’s their night to host. In all of my life, I’ve never experienced a couple who walked together in their weirdness – but these two do. Tony owns his love for making things blow up and Peter will not hesitate to talk to you about how many times he’s gotten his hands stuck to the desk because of his latest experiment. There are no two humans that deserve each other more than Tony and Peter do. It’s a true gift to be a part of that tangible love between them – and I can’t wait to see what the future holds. Like this day, like the two of them – their love is unconventional,” Nat’s voice was bright and confident, her eyes roaming between them. “Pete, you’re up.” She finished in a soft tone, everyone in the room now looking at the youngest of them all.

“Tony, I didn’t expect you. You blew into the coffee shop that day and I haven’t been the same. There are so many things about you that drive me insane. You’re bad at picking up your socks, you leave your whiskey glasses all over the place, you never sleep, and you’re always working. You’re irritating and you know it – which makes it even worse. But, without all of that, you wouldn’t be the most caring, lovable asshole I’ve ever met. You’re my strength in the storm, my reason in times of chaos, and the only person on this entire planet I’d pick up after. You love the same way you live – loudly, hard, and with everything you have. I’m lucky that I got your attention and that you haven’t left me alone since. I promise to keep you level and put you to bed when you need it. I can’t wait to watch your hair gray and spend the rest of my life by your side. I’m stuck with you and I wouldn’t change that for the world. I love you, Tony Stark,” Peter’s eyes jumped from the small vow book to Tony’s every few seconds – his voice getting more and more watery the longer he talked.

Tony wiped a hand under his eye, Peter’s words making everyone in the room cry. Sucking in a breath, he chuckled when Nat arched a brow at him, her eyes big and wet, too. “Good luck doing better than that, Tony.”

“I think it’s funny – how much you didn’t expect me. I dreaded heading into that Ethics class every week and then all of the sudden – I’m listening to this voice impart such wisdom. Then I saw you and it was pretty much over for me. You’re the smartest person I’ve ever met, and you have this way of making everyone else see things your way. You’re stubborn, and when you want something, there’s no persuading you otherwise. I can’t wait to argue with you about time in the lab and whose turn it is to do the dishes. You’re the world to me and I’ll take all that comes with that. Pete, you’re everything I didn’t know I was looking for and all that I’ve ever wanted. Our brains together can do anything and today is just the first day of that journey. I promise to keep you safe, happy, and under piles of Legos. I wouldn’t change loving you, hating you, wanting you – for anything. I love you, Petey.”

When Nat finally got around to telling them to kiss, Tony gripped Peter’s cheeks and pulled him close. Their lips met in a kiss that felt different – despite Tony having tasted the other’s lips at least a million times by then. He let a soft groan slip before pulling away – his cheeks a matching shade to Peter’s. Turning around, Tony brought their joined hands to his mouth, his lips brushing the white gold band now settled there.

Later, sitting around the porch with bellies full of delicious breakfast foods, Peter sat in his lap and wrapped his arms around his neck, the position reminiscent of many times before. “Hello husband,” Peter said against his lips, the man’s eyes bright with booze and happiness. Tony pressed another kiss to his lips before answering, “Hey, Mr. Parker-Stark.” He dropped his face into the crease of Pete’s neck, breathing out a sigh of relief. It felt good to finally have his husband in his arms – the day suddenly feeling so long without this closeness. “Now you’re really stuck with me,” Tony rumbled against the skin of Peter’s neck. His lips lingering with each word. He felt Peter’s hands frame his face and pull until they were looking at each other.

“Happily so, husband of mine.”

#starker #peter parker/tony stark #tony stark/peter parker #ironspider #fan fics #ao3 fan fiction #bobbie writes #college/university au #au #alternate universe #stuck with u #song fic

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xsecretblastsx · 4 years ago

Text

2x01 Summer Kind of Wonderful

SEASON TWO HERE WE GO.

I was dying to get here, this is one of my favorite episodes in the whole show. It’s also the episode were I really turned into a Chair shipper, so there’s that too, also The Hamptons!! Honestly was not to love about this episode.

I think this is the longest recap I’ve done in a while. As usaul recap under the cut.

Thoughts I had while watching:

I’ve watched this before and yet I’m still surprised our first taste of S2 is Nate going at it

After the super promising tease on Nate and Serena on the S1 turns out... she’s covering for him while he sleeps around... 😒

Chuck being Chuck, still a womanizer, still obsessed with Blair and as always ignoring Serena’s disgusted face. Also hilarious his enormous basket with cuttlery and such.

Look Joe Goldberg!!! Or is it Dan Humphrey? This bookstore setting is making it even more confusing.

Hi Jenny! And her never ending disatisfaction with her place at whatever she’s trying.

This scene between Chuck and Serena is so underrated. Her mocking face is hilarious. Pimp all you want Chuck it’s useless. Good luck in your suicide mission indeed.

What’s a Jitney? 😆How about where Blair returns to the Hamptons with a new beau. On your face Chuck Bass! On the words of GG: ain’t karma a bitch? We know Blair Waldorf is.

“A hot lifeguard is like Kleenex: use once and then throw away, you couldn’t ask for a better rebound” so says Blair 🤔

“The only thing lamer than dating Dan Humphrey is mourning Dan Humphrey” speaking words of wisdom Blair Waldorf

Of course all the wisdom goes out the window when Chuck appears. With the most extra polo ever and the shortest shorts in the history of menswear

Not that Blair wasn’t transparent with all her talk about James but oh my god Serena’s is so bad a going along with it.

“You’re lying. Your eyes are doing that thing were they don’t match your mouth” Chuck Bass: a walking manual on Blairisms

“I bet you’ll like him as much as I do” “If by that you mean I won’t like him at all then you’re right” meanwhile Serena is trying to pretend she’s anywhere else and not there silent witness to that verball pin pong

I always wonder how Jenny and Dan end up being like that with a Dad like Rufus

So this is “Jenny admitting she was a bitch and that Eric didn’t deserve it” first season.

“A honk instead of a knock? Did someone order a townie?" Blair’sn lines this episode are hilarious

I feel bad thinking that Nate’s main contribution so far is looking really good without a shirt.

Chuck Bass: a walking encyclopedia on everything Blair Waldorf.

If only the show had given us more Chuck and Cece interactions.

I feel I should have kept a score for all the Chuck and Blair jibes to each. That pin play on Blair’s part was check mate though. Auch. I almost feel bad for Chuck. Almost

In terms of cinematography that scene were they talk about the pin is gorgeous probably my fave in the show only behind that scene in Paris in S4. The matching outfits, the colors and the scenery are sooo good. Also the acting.

Knowing her like he does it’s interesting Chuck doesn’t realize Blair only gave that pin to James to hurt him. But the fact that it works is very telling on Chuck’s insecurities and feelings.

Nate being kicked out so the husband won’t catch him wouldn’t be half as hilarious if it wasn’t for Serena’s “no effing way face”

“Damn that Motherchucker” a novel by Blair Waldorf

I love Blair’s summer dress by the way

“All I could see was that Chuck Basstard” the sequel novel, also by Blair Waldorf

What a difference a summer makes: Nate and Chuck talking about Blair. I do feel Nate’s like “thank god it ain’t me anymore”

“And unlike you I don’t lose something if I let it out of my sight” Blair strikes again, this girl is on fire.

This episode is kind of proving that I barely care for any other storyline that doesn’t have the original four. After those two side by side arguments, getting back to Dan is really annoying

I kind of love it when Rufus points out to Dan how he never stops talking and doesn’t let anyone else said anything. Is kind of boring already how he only seems to write about Serena and the UES.

Chuck’s cricket outfit reminds me of how I should enjoy the crazy outfits while they last.

Ofc Chuck’s has a PI on speed dial Eric, duh. Gotta love him though: “i know that face, that face is not your friend” sorry Nate

I’m still trying to come up with the reason why the show let the fake dating storyline between Nate and Serena be such a waste. Whyyyy????

Just in case I forget: this white party was sponsored by Vitamin Water. For real there’s product placement and then there’s this.

The constrast between Serena looking like a greek goddess next to Nate’s I didn’t bother of an outfit is making me dizzy.

Chuck’s outfit for the white party kind of deserves a post of his own. Then again is probably my fave outfit of his on the whole show.

James calling out Blair for using him, while mentioning charade feels kind of overplayed now. Anyway he’s already pointing out how Blair and Chuck are the same and that’s why they deserve each other.

“Don’t you see? We’re the same? Stop trying to fight it” “I will fight it to my last dying breath because any resemblance to you is something I would hate about myself” this whole dialogue feels like a premonition.

Serena and Nate kissing and being totally into it while paparazzi plays is the background is just one of those moments. This is the kind of content I’m here for. Only to be ruined by Dan Humphrey.

And here we are again Dan getting mad when he doesn’t have a right to, thankfully karma is a thing in the form of drinks poured all over him

And somehow is Serena the one busy cleaning that suit, useless Dan is useless

Chuck’s “I’m so screwed” face when his PI tells him Blair’s guy is actually a british Lord is priceless.

THREE WORDS EIGHT LETTERS SAY IT AND IM YOURS.

Epic scene aside they both look so good here. This episode is gift in matching outfits.

Dan, Serena and fireworks. 😪 here we go again

I loved this episod the first time I watched it and I think I love it even more so now. It’s really good, full of funny lines, great outfits and epic moments. Season two is as of now my fave season (i think this is also true for many people) and it starts with a bang. Quite literally actually with the opening scene being Nate going at it with an “older” woman, which I guess was meant to be shocking in part because we ended last season wondering if something was going to happen between Nate and Serena.

Sadly it didn’t and that’s my biggest complain for this episode because how on earth did they thought it was ok to waste all that set up, and to add insult to the injury they are like so Serena and Nate are secretly dating... but it is just like a throway line because except for that amazing kiss at the white party we never see them fakee dating and I honestly want to pull my hair out of frustration. Just imagine the possibilities that weren’t, granted fake dating is one of my favorite tropes but it could have been quite the storyline imagine: Serenate fake dates and that sparks the feelings that were pushed aside on S1 but that were always there, and now there’s nothing that can stop them to act on it, except Serena has feelings for Dan too, and she struggles because of it all the first half of S1 until eventually she picks Dan and breaks Nate’s heart, combined with all the other pressures in his life, he wants something easy and this happens to coincide with Blair’s downright spiral and that’s how Nair happens again in the second half of S2.

My point being you could add so many more moments in the Serenate saga, also give more force to the idea the show always tried to do: that Serena can’t really let go of Dan, because Nate and her are quite something and yet... and still have almost the same story on the second half which was important because it gave closure to Nair and also had both Chuck and Blair realizing a couple of things. Alas one can only dream and be happy that at least we got that kiss at the white party

So back to the episode, we learn that Nate is having and affair with a married woman, Serena misses Dan a lot and basically mourned him the whole summer meanwhile he was being an asshole in the City fooling girls he met at his intership and Jenny is working and trying to stand out in her own internship at Waldorf desings. Which reminds me Eric is such a gem of a character, he’s always have good one liners but whe’s also a nice counter balance to all the manipulation and bitchery going around him. Anyway all of these storylines are barely a tease of what’s coming, and they really take off in the next episode, so I’ll get into them then, so at the end of the episode Nate manages to keep the affair goin into the city, Jenny earns a bit of respect from her boss and Serena and Dan see each other again (thanks to Cece which is another character I wish we had see a bit more) they meet at the beach ready to see if there’s something to salvage between them. We’ll see.

The real star of this episode are Chuck and Blair. This episode belongs to them. I’ve seen comments that claim this is the season that made them epic and really take off and I quite agree, and this episode in particular sets up the stage for it, touching on a lot of the aspects that are going to be their arc for this season and even beyond. So at the end of S1 Chuck stands up Blair and she goes alone to Tuscany and he doesn’t goes after her the whole summer. Instead he spends the summer in The Hamptons being Chuck Bass, she ends up in France. We soon learn that while Chuck enjoyed himself during the summer Blair wasn’t far off in his mind:, the minute she’s back he goes aftet her, roses in hand only to find out she came back with a new guy, and she does everything in her power to rub that fact in his face which Chuck should have expected, it obviously bothers him but truth is they both know this is just Blair trying to get back at him for abandoning her, he hurt her, she obviously doesn’t tell him but he ruined his summer and she couldn’t stop thinking about the motherchucker

Shenanigans ensue but there are bits that really stand out: first of them the heart pinn. That's a telling bit about Chuck’s feelings, when that pin make its first appearance on S1 it was the beginning of the end for Chuck, the meaning of it was what got her to accept going to Cotillion with Nate and now she has gave it to James and Chuck buys it because I guess part of him couldn’t believe she would go as far as to use that to hurt him, that’s a low blow and she also didn’t gave it to him that week they were going out after the wedding, even though it went really well but most importantly he believes she can’t really feel that way about him because he’s just not the kind of guy someone can feel something for, but specially someone like Blair Waldorf, who dreams of finding her prince charming and such, and to his utter horror it’s revealed that Blair’s new guy is actually a british lord. Just his luck.

He’s anything but that, therefore not for Blair. He tells her as a much later in the episode when he let’s her know that he basically stood her up because he was afraid of her getting to really know him and see he was not good enough nor someone she could be with. And this is something that’s going to be quite the struggle for him for a long time, more than once during the show he’s going to remove himself from the picture because he believes she deserves someone better who can actually make her happy, and this season this happens quite a few times.

Thing is nothing is ever that simple, and this is the other bit that really stands out for me: when James calls her out on how she just use him to make Chuck jealous she justifies herself by pointing out Chuck’s an awful person, who lies and deceives so he kinds of deserve it, and James points out the fact that well she’s sort of the same, and they deserve each other. She lashes out at Chuck because of this and blames him for her argument with James, it’s his fault she played with James, and Chuck’s point out that no one force her to do anything she did it because they’re the same, meaning they scheme and manipulate to get what they want, so she should just stop fighting this thing between them, she rejects him claiming she would hate any resamblance to him. This whole argument is honestly quite interesting, because variations of it are going to keep popping up the rest of the show, and depending on who you ship you either take literally as if Chuck is the root of Blair worst tendencies or rather see this argument as representation of Blair struggles not with Chuck, but with herself.

Blair struggles in accepting herself, at her core she’s an insecure person, and the fact that she has a dark side that she can’t exactly change because it’s so deep roothed in her bothers her even before she and Chuck were anything, to me it bothers her not because she really wishes she was nice & good person, but rather because Serena is nice person, who’s regarded as literal ray of sunshine at times, and Serena got two things she wanted for the longest time: positive atention from Eleanor and Nate’s interest.So that fight within herself was always there, it didn’t appear the day she started dating Chuck, is just that in the same way they brought out the best in each other, when things go bad between them the opposite sometimes happened, and even then when they blame each other for something half the time it was to share some of the hurt and to avoid dealing with their own shortcomings and mistakes. Truthfully Chuck and Blair did something for each other no one had really done for them they accept each other fully, Blair’s able to accept and love his darkness, and for Chuck there’s no darkness in Blair she’s the way she is and that’s what makes her wonderful. It was easier for them to love each other than to love themselves.

Finally the biggest stand out of the episode is that iconic scene, the one that really puts into place the dynamic they will have for the rest of the season: Three words, eight letters are brought to the table, and they won’t move forward until the words have been said. It makes sense, because they tried this twice before, the first one came out of nowhere and it ended with Chuck getting dumped in favor of Nate, and that burned him badly, the second one Blair was the one who got hurt, and both times this pretty much happened because they aren’t able of telling each other how they feel, particularly Chuck. The first time he didn’t let her know he actually cared and wanted to be with her, the second one he didn’t tell her he was afraid, and all of this was too much too soon. So Blair wants, needs some kind of reassurance, and it makes me wonder how that week after the wedding really went, what happened? how wonderful it must have been that even though he abandoned her a that helipad she still had hope in the fact that he may love her. He doesn’t say it, and yet I still love this moment so much for because jus by asking him to say it is in some way an admittance on her own feellings, and he fails to saythe words but he did try, and the fact that he did try is also a form of admittance and as such from here on no matter what happens, how much they fight and toy with each other there’s always an undercurrent of love behind their actions,and this is (borrowing a phrase from a certain popstar) the most amazing unspoken dialogue ever.

Random bits I’ve noticed

Chuck has a bouquet of yellow roses for his intent on getting Blair back. If my memory serves right, those were his mom favorites

I’m such a sucker for the little backdrop details like the Van der Bass house having all these background pictures of the wedding

Thanks to Chuck for giving us the rank on Blair’s favorite films: Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Roman Holiday & Funny Face (even if he said Charades to prove a point)

I’ve read somewhere I think it was on twitter that Blair’s crying in the garden scene was unscripted, Leighton did because she got really caught up in the scene particularly by Ed’s acting. I’ve looked it up but so far I haven’t found anything on this.

There’s a bunch of miniature cyclists under the mirror where Cece’s doing the final touches to her hair, looks sort of weird.

that vitamin water is even on the invitation, agust 30, 2008.

#gossip girl recap #gossip girl rewatch #gossip girl #2x01 #summer kind of wonderful

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chickensarentcheap · 4 years ago

Text

Best Part of Me -Chapter 22

Warnings: none

Tagging: @c-a-v-a-l-r-y, @innerpaperexpertcloud, @alievans007

She stands at the kitchen sink, watching through the window as they sit side by side at the patio table. Millie already in her pajamas, hair still damp from a bath, Tyler in a pair of weathered old sweatpants and tattered t-shirt. Their resemblance striking; same color and texture of hair, same ears and profile, even the same shaped lips and those brilliant blue eyes framed by impossibly long and dark lashes. She’s her father’s child; even more so than the boys; sharing not only physical appearance, but facial expressions and body language. Even now their faces mirror each other: eyes narrowed, and brows pinched together, mouth set in a thin, stern line. A staring contest and a battle of wills that’s lasted for more than a minute with no sign of either weakening or wavering. Millie strict and demanding over how she wants things done when it comes to her birthday invitations, her father wondering just how the hell he’d managed to get himself into such a mess in the first place. They're both ferociously stubborn; Millie even more so. And she always wins; no one is immune to that mop of hair and those eyes and that little voice.

Her father is especially weak when it comes to her. An almost six-year-old able to bring a man that size, and who possesses so much strength and power, to his knees. She’s his number one weakness; always balking at scolding her even when she deserves it, succumbing to all the begging and pleading for ‘one more’ bedtime story even though it always turns into five, finding it incredibly hard to say no and very rarely doing so. While his bond with all the kids is strong, the one with Millie is even more so. Perhaps because she’s the first after Austin’s death; a rainbow baby of sorts. Or maybe because she represents the start of his new life; his second chance. A man that had so little to live for suddenly being given everything to live for. She had been conceived in the most unconventional of place during the most unconventional of times. A little blue-eyed miracle that reminds him every day of just how lucky he is to be on this side of the ground.

“Daddy....I am telling you...” Millie finally speaks, her facial expression never changing and her eyes never wavering from his. “...you HAVE to use the glitter.”

“But I don’t want to use it. That shit gets everywhere. You do it the way you want. Then your mom can bitch at you for getting it all over the place.”

“She’ll bitch at you for letting me use glitter without supervision.”

“I am sitting right here. I am supervising.”

“But you gotta use it too,” she insists. “Or the cards won’t match.”

“They don’t have to, Martha Stewart. Relax.”

“Yes. They do have to match. Why are you being so difficult?”

“Amelia...”

She giggles. “Daddy...”

“You’re not the boss.”

“Neither are you. You just think you are. Mommy’s the boss. Your boss.”

Tyler frowns. “Is that what she said?”

“She doesn’t need to say it. It’s just the way it is. And mommy would tell you to use the glitter too.”

“You and I both know that’s bullshit. She’d never say that. She hates glitter.”

“She hates play-doh and slime,” Millie argues.

“And glitter.”

“She never said that!”

“Excuse me? Yes, she did. After your brother got mad at you and dumped a whole container of it in your backpack. Remember? When we still lived at the old house?”

“Oh yeah,” Millie scowls, then pulls her top lip between her teeth and then releases it with an audible ‘pop’. “...well I guess that means you should be really, really careful with it then.”

“I guess that means you should get someone else to help. A glitter bitch.”

“Daddy! That’s a bad word! Why do you have to give me such a hard time? Don’t be like all the other boys in the house. Please don’t.”

“How would like another brother?” Tyler counters.

She gives a dramatic gasp. “Why would you do me like that? Isn’t three enough? Why so many boys? Boys are dumb. And annoying. Except you of course.”

Grinning, he lays a hand on the top of her head and presses a noisy kiss to her temple. “You are so lucky you added that last part.”

“Why? What would you do? Nothing. Because you love me too much.”

“You know what?” His voice and face are stern at first, but then a slow grins spreads from ear to ear and he scoops her up and places her in his lap; pressing kisses against her cheeks and rubbing his beard against her skin until she’s giggling and squirming in a half assed attempt to escape; little hands on his cheeks trying to push him away, the squeals becoming even louder when his fingers dig into her stomach and start tickling.

“What?” Millie asks, when the playful assault ends, and she kneels in his lap facing him; hands delicately cradling his face, a look of pure adoration on her face as she regards him. “What daddy?”

“Get back in your seat and hand me the goddamn glitter.”

Esme laughs and then turns away from the window, busying herself with making a tea and a coffee and tidying the kitchen. The house is eerily quiet for only nine at night; both Declan and Addie fast asleep upstairs, Mac curled up under her crib, snoring lightly. Normally the twins are still tearing around. Either tormenting one another or their older sister or burning off the last of their energy in the pool or down on the beach. She misses them; the dirty handprints that she is constantly wiping off every surface, the sand that they track through every inch of the house, those little voices –and even their squabbling- and the way they eventually fall asleep either spread out on the couch with the tops of their heads touching, or on the bottom bunk pressed back to back.

They’re a handful and have been since day one; a pregnancy filled with complications and scares. But they’re a joy. Rambunctious and mischievous. Fearless to a fault. Always willing to try new adventures, as long as they’re together for them.

The sun is beginning to set as she steps out onto the patio, and the strings of solar powered white lights wrapped around the patio railings springing to life, bathing the area in a soft, almost soothing glow. And she places the steaming mug of coffee on the table in front of her husband, then lays a hand on the back of his neck and presses a kiss to the corner of his mouth. Despite the outwardly display of confidence and the rare genuine smile that crosses his face, he’s struggling. The last couple of days have been especially rough; medications not enough to take away that edge and that sense of impending doom she knows he’s feeling. It’s so many things: TJ’s troubles, Millie’s rapidly approaching sixth birthday, the situation with Ovi and the very real possibility of having to get back in the game. But he gives her an appreciative smile and lays a hand on her hip; gently squeezing before allowing his hand to lightly slide over her ass.

“Just what are you guys doing?” she inquires and slips into the chair at the head of the table; a foot on the seat, bottom of her hoodie pulled over her knee.

“I don’t even know anymore,” Tyler admits. “I just do what I’m told.”

“We’re making birthday invitations,” Millie says. “Glittery ones.”

“Yeah...I see that...” Esme frowns, then moves her seat back from the table to avoid any wayward sparkles. “You know that crap is going to be everywhere for weeks, right?”

“Daddy already has it in his hair,” Millie giggles. “And in his beard.”

“Because you thought it would be hilarious to dump glitter in your hands and rub them all over my head,” he complains.

“It was funny!” she exclaims. “You’re going to be sparkly forever now. A sparkly daddy.”

“Like one of those vampires in Twilight,” Esme muses, and he gives her a dirty look. “Just much more handsome.”

“I have vampires,” Millie announces. “Daddy could kick their asses.”

“Damn right,” he agrees.

“Daddy would kick all the monsters’ asses, right daddy? Like you kicked all the bad guys asses. Do you miss kicking bad guys’ asses?”

“You know what I miss? I miss when you didn’t say ass every five seconds.”

“Better than the s word or the f word,” she reasons, and kneels in her chair to reach for plastic container full of pencil crayons sitting in the middle of the table. “Do you? Miss kicking the bad guys’ asses?”

“Nope,” he quickly replies. “I don’t.”

Esme knows it isn’t the entire truth; someone just doesn’t give up a job...a life...like the one he’d been leading and not experience some fall out. It’s fast paced and generous; living life constantly on edge and waiting for the other shoe to drop. Days and sometimes weeks of putting your ass on the line to help a stranger; shedding a lot of blood, sweat, and tears for that pay out in the end. The job is exhilarating; every mercenary will admit to that. That there’s a certain rush that comes with the intensity. And most won’t say it out loud, but there’s a feeling of satisfaction you get when you witness revenge and karma up close; even if it means you’re delivering them yourself with your bare hands.

His entire adult has been that existence. First the military, then the job. And there’s no way he doesn’t miss. It’s quite the change; going from that life to one of routine and domesticity.

“I bet the bad guys don’t miss you,” Millie muses. “They were tired of getting their asses kicked. But who does it now that you don’t? Who goes after the bad people?”

“Other guys,” Tyler responds.

“What other guys?”

“Guys like me. Who do that sort of thing. There’s lots of guys like that out there.”

“And girls too?”

“I guess. I suppose there’s girls out there that do that kind of thing. Mommy did.”

Esme directs a kick to his shin under the table, then shakes her head when he gives her a quizzical look.

“Mommy sort of did that job,” he quickly adds. “She helped guys like me out. She helped track down the bad people and then told guys like me where we could find them.”

“Mmmm...” Millie considers this, head cocked to the side, eyes focused on the drawing she’s creating. “....is that how you met?”

“Yup. When I used to live here before I had you or your sister or your brothers.”

“In this house?”

“Not in THIS house. In my old house. Well it wasn’t really a house. It was more like a shack. But there’s where I met mommy. A long time ago. Auntie Nik brought her there and introduced us.”

“We should go there sometime,” Millie suggests. “To your old place. To see it. Who lives there now?”

“A friend of mine. You met him a few times when you were a baby.”

“I want to go there,” she decides. “To your old place. I want to see where you met mommy. Is that where you helped put me in her tummy?”

“No. That happened somewhere else,” Esme speaks up. “In an entirely different country. In Bangladesh. A place called Dhaka. Daddy and I were working there. That’s where you were made.”

“We should go there too,” Millie concludes.

“Yeah, that’s a no from me,” Tyler says. “That’s not a place I want to go back to.”

“Is that where you almost died?”

Esme watches her husband’s face; mug pressed against her lips as she waits for his reaction. Noticing the small intake of breath and the slow, steady way he releases it. The way his shoulders tense and his leg begins to shake back and forth underneath the table.

“Yeah...” he finally speaks, then turns his attention towards the craft in front of him. His eyes are dark and that vein in his neck...the one that had to be surgically repaired after being blown out by Farhad- begins to pulsate. “...that’s where I almost died.”

“How?” Millie asks.

“You know what,” Esme comes to his aid. “This isn’t a good time to talk about these kinds of things. Not so close to bedtime, okay Millie? It will give you nightmares and as much as we love you, we don’t want you sleeping with us until you’re eighteen.”

“It won’t give me nightmares,” she argues. “I’m fine.”

“Amelia...” Her tone and her face are stern; the warning in her voice noticeable enough that her daughter looks up at her. “Not right now. Thank you.”

Silence falls on the table, no further conversation for several minutes. Nothing but the sound of the waves rolling onto the shore, the slight rustle of the trees, and the soft scrape of pencil crayons against paper. And Tyler reaches under the table to lay a hand on Esme’s thigh, squeezing lightly and giving her a small, grateful smile. There are days when he can talk openly and honestly about what happened in Dhaka. He was able to tell the therapist the whole story without even breaking a nervous sweat. But there’s other times where it’s unbearable; the memories too strong and too painful. The mental wounds still too fresh and feeling still too raw.

“Look at you,” Esme laughs, and the lays a hand on the side of his face and turns his head towards her. “You have glitter everywhere. It’s all in your beard. It looks like you went down on a stripper. I hope you don’t think you’re coming near my bits looking like that.”

He grins. “Oh, I so am.”

“Like hell you are. Last thing I need is being sparkly down there. I don’t know how you’re going to get all that out of there,” she vigorously rubs her palms against her beard, then frowns as she studies the purple and silver flecks left behind on her skin. “It couldn’t at least be a good color that brings out your eyes?”

“Might have to just shave the whole thing off,” he says.

“Like hell you will. We’ve talked about this. Do you want a divorce? Because that’s how you get a divorce.”

“You don’t even know what I look like clean shaven.”

“You’re not Tyler without a beard. Your kids won’t even recognize you. That's how they know you. That’s how I know you.”

“Don’t do it, daddy,” Millie implores. “You’ll look totally different. Like a stranger. I want you to look like daddy.”

“Two against one,” Esme says. “The beard stays.”

“You only look like the beard because when we do...well when I do...you know... you like the way it feels.”

“I’ll give you that. But it’s also because it’s rugged and manly and you look so freaking sexy with it. Even with silver and purple glitter in it. Speaking of glitter....” she stands up and picks up on of the finished creations. “...I take it she mentioned her party and you went along with it.”

“Come on, you knew I wouldn’t say no.”

“I did,” she admits. “But that doesn’t mean I want you to be completely uncomfortable and miserable, either. That’s a lot of people. Here. In your space. I know how much you value your space. So, if you think it’s too much to deal with...”

“I’ll be okay,” he says. “I’ll deal.”

She stares at him pointedly, brows arches.

“I’ll be fine, babe,” he assures her, and reaches out to lay a hand on the small of her back. “It’ll be okay. I’ll be okay.”

“Daddy’s tough,” Millie declares. “Super tough.”

“Yes,” her mother agrees. “The toughest guy I’ve ever known, that’s for sure.”

“Is that why you fell in love with him?” Millie inquires. “Because he’s tough?”

“There’s a lot of reasons why I fell with him,” Esme replies, as she sits back down in her seat and places her feet in her husband’s lap. “I guess being tough was once of them. Because I knew that I’d always be safe, and I’d have nothing to be scared of when he’s around. That he'd always be willing to protect me and be able to physically do it.”

Tyler smiles and gives her a wink, his hand giving her foot a squeeze.

“He also had really cool hair and crazy beautiful eyes,” she continues. “And big arms. Not to mention that face. Pretty damn handsome, I think. He was kind of mean though. When we first met.”

Millie’s eyes widen as she looks towards her father. “You were mean? To mommy?! Did you make her cry?”

“I did not make her cry and I was not mean.”

“Not right away,” Esme says. “But he got really mean and really bossy when we got to Dhaka.”

“Listen, your mom’s not telling you the truth,” Tyler address his little girl. “I got a little mean, yeah. You want to know why? Because even then your mommy didn’t like to listen to a word I say. And I was in charge and she did something I told her not to and she got in trouble and I got mad.”

“I just put him in his place though,” Esme says with a shrug as she sips her tea. “That just made him even more mad and even meaner. Deep down though, I think he liked it. A woman being all assertive and aggressive with him.”

“I’m not afraid to admit that I liked it. I liked it a lot.”

“That was obvious,” Esme grins, and presses her toes into his crotch.

“You think I’m tough, Millie? Your mom’s even tougher than I am. Hands down the toughest woman...person...I’ve ever met. She’s little, but she’s bad ass.”

“Like me!” Millie cheerfully exclaims.

“You’re exactly like her in a lot of ways. You know how tough someone has to be to trick the bad guys into telling her secrets and letting her know where they are? Crazy tough. When you get older, I’ll tell you a story about how she handled things in Ireland against some pretty scary people. She went in there and talked them all by herself. She wasn’t even scared. Not for a second. I was proud of her. Insanely proud.”

“Don’t make me cry,” Esme pleads, and gives him a brilliant smile. “Because my hormones are all over the place since having your daughter and I’m liable to bawl at anything.”

“Mommy’s the most amazing person I’ve ever known,” he continues. “Not a lot of people would do what she did. When she stuck around to help me in Dhaka. No one else was going to do it. I would have died if she hadn’t had been there.”

“But you didn’t,” Esme says. “And that’s all that matters.”

She hates being praised for it; truly believing that she’d done what anyone with a conscience and an ounce of compassion would have done in that situation. Ovi had been too young; there’s no way he should have had to spring into action and shoulder that kind of responsibility. But there’d been no excuse for Nik. There were other team members there; they could have easily kept the situation under control while she held; at least lending a hand to control the bleeding long enough to get him into the chopper and get both Ovi AND him out of there.

And she’ll hold that grudge for the rest of her life; every time the subject of Dhaka comes up or she looks at the scar on her husband’s neck.

****

Ovi arrives just as darkness fully sets in, standing on the bottom step of the patio; cautiously watching them for several minutes, hands shoved in his pockets, nervously rocking back and forth on his heels.

“You don’t have to just stand there, mate,” Tyler speaks up. “You can join us, you know.”

The younger man breathes a sigh of relief as he climbs the steps, giving Esme a small, apologetic smile which she returns with a curt one of her own before looking away. Their talk the night before had left a bitter taste in both of their mouths; she’d been harsh and brutally honest and refuses to make any apologies for it. She doesn’t understand how, despite all of the things he’s seen and heard in Dhaka and the years following it, that he can be so steadfast about diving headfirst into such a dangerous life. She’d laid out the hardest of truths she possibly could; the long-lasting effects on Tyler’s mental and physical health, the demons and the monsters that prey on every day, the trickle-down effects and impacts the entire family. Yet he remains determined. Either too stubborn to face the truth, or too just immature and ignorant.

“Millie, why don’t we go inside and get a bedtime snack,” Esme suggests, when Ovi steps up onto the patio, finishing the last of her tea and pushing her chair away from the table. “You can finish these tomorrow, okay? I think daddy’s had just about as much glitter and coloring he can take.”

“Okay,” she willingly –and surprisingly- agrees. “You’ll still tuck me in right, daddy?”

“You know it. Just come and get me when you’re ready, yeah?”

Nodding, she curls an arm around his neck and sweetly pecks his lips. Then scurries over to Ovi and wraps her arms around his, tightly squeezing.

“I can’t deal with this tonight,” Esme says, when Tyler catches her by the wrist before she can leave, a concerned and almost puzzled look on his face. “I don’t want to deal with it all. You do what you have to do. I don’t want to hear any more about it.”

He nods in understanding, and she leans down to press a soft, quick kiss to his lips before ushering Millie into the house.

“I think she’s still mad,” Ovi comments, as he drops into a chair at the end of the table.

“Really?” Tyler scoffs. “What gave you that impression?”

Standing, he begins tidying up the table, stuffing pencil crayons, glue sticks, and tubes of sparkles into small plastic storage containers. A far cry from when his hands used to inflict pain and even death on others; glitter caked under his nails and stuck to his fingers as opposed to blood and dirt. And it horrifies him how disappointed he feels over the thought; how blood seemed so much better and easy to accept than a child’s craft supplies. It’s not the first time in six months he’s missed what things were like before, and he knows it won’t be the last. That it will always be there; that side of him that had actually enjoyed the job and the payday that came with.

And it fucking disgusts him.

“I understand why she’s upset,” Ovi says.

Tyler regards him, eyebrow arched. “Do you? ‘Cause I don’t think you do.”

“She doesn’t want you getting back into this. Into that job. Into the job. Because if what happened in New Zealand.”

“Do you even understand what went on there? Why I left? Why I called it quits and came home? Because something tells me you don’t.”

“Mental health issues.”

“That’s part of it. I came home because I couldn’t fucking do it anymore. I’d had enough. Of that life and all the bullshit that came with it. Fucking death and blood and gore and everything that came with it. Helping people that don’t give a shit if I’m alive or dead at the end.”

“I gave a shit,” Ovi reminds him.

“You know how long I’d be doing the job? Almost sixteen years. That’s a fucking lifetime for guys like me.”

“Guys like us,” the younger man stresses.

“You’re not there yet. You might not even get there. You might not even get past what I have in store for you. You want to think it’s all a big game and that it’s something you ‘just want to try out’? Well you’re going to see just how fucking fun it is when I get a hold of you. So if you’re having any second thoughts, I’d back out now before it’s too late and I have you curled up in a ball of your own puke and piss.”

Ovi blinks at the harshness in his voice.

“You wonder why she’s upset? Why she’s pissed off with you? With the whole fucking world right now? Do you know how many promises I’ve made to her that I’ve broken? So many that she doesn’t even believe me when I make promises anymore. That’s fucking sad. It’s pathetic. And here I am, breaking another one.”

“You’re not exactly...”

“You know what? You don’t get to talk. You're just going to sit there and listen to what I have to say. You want to be a man and make these kinds of decisions? Then you sit there and let another man tell you the way things are. I’m not just random off the street that doesn’t know what he’s talking about. The job was my life. It’s who I was. And when I walked away, I thought I left it behind. And then you come along with this bullshit...”

“Tyler...I...”

“Just shut the fuck up and listen,” he growls. “I’m not fucking around here, Ovi. I’m not pulling any punches. It wasn’t just the job that screwed with my head. There was a lot of things that fucked me up. Things you don’t even know about. All the way back to when I was a kid. But the job? The job fucked me in more ways than you can even begin to imagine. You think it’s fun killing people? That I actually enjoyed it? I took pride in it?”

Ovi shakes his head.

“I did it for the money. That’s it. I didn’t do it to help people. I didn’t give a shit about myself, why would I give a shit about them? And then you came along, and Dhaka happened, and that was my one chance to make things right. For redemption. To prove I wasn’t a shit human being. And part of me was ready to die that day. More than ready. And another part of me wanted to stay alive because I thought maybe...just maybe...I’d met someone that could teach me how to give a shit again. That would actually give a shit about me.”

“She obviously did. And still does. Or she wouldn’t be here.”

“She stayed behind on that bridge. Knowing there was a chance that Asif would get a hold of her. Do you know what would have happened to her if he had? What he would have done to her? Way worse than he would have done to you. He would have killed you quickly. He would have waited days with her. Weeks. Until he was bored with her; tired of doing all kinds of sick and twisted shit to her.”

Ovi swallows heavily, tears welling in his eyes.

“And she still stayed. Knowing what would happen if she got caught there. Fucking Nik took off. She wasn’t even going to come back for us. Everything should have told Esme to leave me there and she didn’t. So don’t come here...to my house...and even think about disrespecting my wife.”

“I wasn’t going to. I...”

“You didn’t even give a shit about what she had to say last night. She’s trying to save your life and you didn’t even care. She doesn’t want you ending up like me, don’t you fucking get that? You think I want to be like this? Fucked in the head? Having to take medication every morning to just goddamn function like somewhat of a human being? You think I want my wife and my kids to see me like this? What the hell is wrong with you that you can’t see what the job does? It hasn’t just fucked me up, it’s fucked all of them up. My wife, my kids. Why can’t you see that?”

“I don’t expect you to get back into the job. Just to help me. And you said you would. With the training. You said...”

“You think it’s really going to stop there? That that’s going to be enough? I’m going to get dragged back into this shit. You know it, I know it. Esme knows it. And it’s fucking killing her inside. Because I told her that this time I was done for good. And now look. Look at the goddamn mess you’ve gotten me into.”

“I never meant to...”

“Never meant to what? Bring me back into it? Bullshit. It’s what you wanted right from the get-go. You never wanted to do this alone. You wanted me with you right from the start. Well now you got what you want. You’ve got me right back into this crap. Whether I want to be in it or not. You know I wouldn’t let you do it alone. You damn well knew from the start I’d never let that happen, didn’t you.”

Ovi reluctantly nods.

“Well I hope you’re prepared then. Because I’m not going to make this easy on you. You want me to drag me off to some shit hole and get me killed, I get to do things my way. And I swear to Christ, if my marriage falls apart because of this and I lose my kids....”

“You won’t. That won’t happen. She’d never leave. You know she wouldn’t.”

“I know she WOULD. Don’t tempt it. I break one more promise to her and it’s done. She’ll take off and I’ll never see my kids again. And I’ll spend the rest of my life making yours miserable because of it. Understand me?”

“I don’t understand why you’re both so worried. Why you’re both so upset. I don’t...”

“What if I don’t come back?” Tyler angrily interjects. “What if this is the one time no one is around to save me? What if it’s the one time a sniper puts a bullet in my head instead of my chest? Do you know what I leave behind? Five kids. Five little kids that deserve so much better than this. Does that even matter to you? Do they even matter to you?”

“Of course they do!” Ovi exclaims. “I love those kids! They’re my brothers and sisters! How could you even ask me that? How could you...?”

“You love them but you’re willing to take their dad away from them? It’s okay that I go in there to rescue your ass, but I get killed for it? I leave them behind; I leave Esme behind. Do you know what that would do to her? Me not coming back? Like what the fuck?” He angrily tosses the craft supplies into a storage container on the edge of the patio and slams the lid closed. “Do you not realize everything I stand to lose?”

“I do. I do realize that. You have a life. A wife and kids and...:”

“And you’re still going to do it. You’re still going to go ahead with this bullshit.”

Ovi sighs.

“We start the day after Millie’s birthday. I don’t want to hear anything more about it until then. You know you’re more than welcome to keep coming over here, just don’t talk about this again. Not in front of my wife. And especially not in front of my kids. Understand me?”

“I understand.”

“We’re finished here. I don’t want to talk about this anymore. It’s been a long fucking day and I’m done with it. With everything. I’m going into Port Douglas tomorrow to take Millie to see my dad. You can come along if you don’t mention a word of this around her.”

“Okay. I’d like that. To see him again. And I’m sorry. I really am. For all the problems. For all the bullshit. I never meant to cause issues. Especially for you and Esme. I never meant...”

“You come between us and fuck things up, I will make your life hell,” Tyler vows, as he gathers up the dirty coffee mug and steps towards the entrance to the house. “I lose my family because of all this, it won’t end well for you.”

“Tyler, I...”

“We’re done with this,” he says, and then slams the door closed behind him.

#tyler rake #tyler rake fan fic #tyler rake fan fiction #extraction #best part of me #chris hemsworth character

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technoplaguearchive · 5 years ago

Text

Cruel To be Kind (3/4)

Holy crap guys I just realized I never posted the rest of this fic here >.< My bad!!!

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Mornings are their own special hell, complete with friends as the tormenting demons.

Pairing: MidoriyaxBakugou / BakuDeku Rating: Teen & Up Category: M/M Fandom: My Hero Academia | Boku No Hero Academia Originally Published: Some time in April 2019 & I can’t remember when on AO3 Chapter: 3 of 4

Previous || Next

The morning signified the start of a new day, a new chance at life. Mornings were a chance to renew oneself and start on the right foot.

Mornings brought with them a sense of peace.

Most people greeted mornings with a smile and a positive outlook, while some others greeted it with a scowl and a middle finger. But no matter how people felt about them, they kept coming and kept signaling a new day.

Mornings brought the chirping of birds in areas that were lucky enough to be graced with them. Mornings brought sunlight gently filtered through windows, blinds, and curtains. Mornings could also bring gentle city noises to life where one could hear greetings being tossed between pedestrians as they started their days.

This morning, however, brought some additional things to the table; a pounding ass headache, nausea, and the sinking feeling that karma was getting Bakugou back for something... No, wait, that sinking feeling was probably still nausea. So scratch the karma bit.

Sitting up in bed was pretty much a no-go, not unless he wanted to spill his guts all over his clean sheets and the floor. So, for now, he was bed bound and on his back staring at the ceiling, he could accept that. Everything was within reach and he could lay here for a few hours. The light filtering through the small gap in his curtains is enough to make him wince, but sadly not easily remedied unless he wanted to roll across the floor to fix it. Which, if he thought too hard about it, even the mere aspect of rolling anywhere was enough to convince his stomach contents to make a break for it. So fuck it, he’d just face the other way and deal with the shitty sunlight.

The birds he couldn't do anything about except turn some music on to cover their stupid happy chirping. So that was the course of action; locate his phone and put some mindless playlist on low until he could crawl his ass to the shower. Was this the dreaded hangover that his friends always complained about? Fuck, why did they keep drinking if this was how they felt? This was fucking god-awful.

Last he could recall he had put his phone on his nightstand but was he remembering last night or remembering another night? That was the real question. He could barely remember what had happened last night and the few snippets he could piece together weren't helpful. Deku had shown up and Bakugou had decided to get piss drunk instead of leaving. Why? And how the fuck had he got home? And who the fuck had let him drink so much?

First things first; find the phone and get some music going so those fucking bird chirps would stop grating his ears.

A heavy hand slaps around the nightstand as far as he can reach, which is just his rough fingertips groping the edge. After several seconds of half-assed searching, he comes up empty and groans loudly into the emptiness of his apartment. Fucking hell he was going to have to sit up or roll over now to find that plastic piece of shit that controlled his life.

Okay, we can do this, he thinks to himself, quickly followed by Fuck. I’m giving myself a pep talk, this is stupid.

The mental pep talk is enough to distract him while he slides his hands in and levels himself into a sitting position. He slams his eyes closed as the world tilts violently to the right in a blast of white and smudged colors, only to open them again when he finds closing them so quickly had only sent the signal to his brain that he was going to pass out, fall over, vomit, or some combination of the three. With this in mind, he cracks heavy lids open and blinks into the filtered sunlight. On any other morning it might have been beautiful but this morning it was aggravating and anger-inducing. At least his drunk ass hadn't turned every light in his place on, that probably would have been absolute hell on his head.

BZZZZZTTTTT

Bakugou twitches at the sudden noise then winces as a new round of pain shoots through his head.

”What the ever loving fuck…”

BZZZZZTTTTT

”Okay, seriously what the fuck is that noise?”

BZZZZZTTTTT

…..

BZZZZZTTTTT BZZZZZTTTTT BZZZZZTTTTT BZZZZZTTTTT

The noise dies off and Bakugou lets loose his second groan of the morning. Thankfully whatever it was seemed to have stopped. Probably something outside.

BZZZZZTTTTT BZZZZZTTTTT BZZZZZTTTTT

”GOD FUCKING DAMMIT WHAT IS THAT?”

His own roar of anger sends him sprawling backward onto the bed like a turtle on its back while his hands clutch his face and tears pool in his eyes.

As if to mock his predicament the noise sounds several more times before it clicks what it is; his phone. Which means that noisy fuck has to be on his nightstand to be making that hellacious racket.

Well, that solved that mystery but now he isn't sure he even wants music with the way his head is pounding. Between the movement, the noise, and his own stress level he's had enough of everything already.

Now that he knows the general whereabouts he gingerly rolls onto his side and slaps a hand out for his nightstand again. This time his hand slides across smooth plastic and he tugs it over with his fingertips, sliding the device into his palm and pulling it to his prone body. Moving absolutely sucked but staying stationary wasn't an option right now. He needed to figure out why it was going off so much.

”Please don't let it be an emergency,” he mutters desperately as he holds the screen before his face and turns the brightness down.

23 messages received.

Twenty. Fucking. Three. Messages.

Who the actual fuck was trying to get ahold of him this badly?

The good news is the messages, as far as he can tell, aren’t in the least bit important. They’re all from the group chat with Ashido, Kirishima, Kaminari, and Sero. Did those idiots not have hangovers? Kirishima was drinking an awful lot last night, too.

A brief glance through the previews tells him they’re discussing last night. He should probably read over those and see what happened, maybe someone got hurt or lost something… or maybe Ashido got laid and wanted to talk about it. All valid options, really.

First, the music.

Opening his music app he chooses his last playlist and hits shuffle then turns the volume way down. The Bluetooth picks the signal up and soon he can hear it floating gently through the speakers stashed about the bedroom.

With that task out of the way, and the birds now effectively silenced (Fucking finally, chirpy motherfuckers), he sets about figuring out what the idiots are talking about. The messenger app they use for their chat shows several messages privately to him but the majority are in the group. Okay, get the group nonsense out of the way and worry about the private stuff when he was a functional human being again.

He swipes back to the first missed message and sees it’s from Kaminari.

Zappy-Boy: Where did you guys go? I just saw Bakugou storm past back to the bar…? AlienQueen: We’re down here with him. He and Midoriya got in a fight AlienQueen: no surprise, of course

No more messages rolled in after until this morning, before he had even woken up.

AlienQueen: Has anyone heard from Bakugou? Do we know if he made it home? Zappy-Boy: ask Kirishima. Last I saw they were all over each other -_- AlienQueen: fucking hell...again? RIOT: not like that! He got a little trashed last night and I helped him get home. I left him at his door cause he didn’t want me inside AlienQueen: proof of life? RIOT: [image.jpg] AlienQueen: you’re right, he was trashed Zappy-Boy: did anyone check on Midoriya? He looked pretty upset when he showed up again last night AlienQueen: he said he was fine, just tired. Yelling at Bakugou wears a person out, so I get it Zappy-Boy: soooo, I’m gonna be who asks it since you’re all cowards; anyone got the tea? RIOT: I don’t even know what that means Zappy-Boy: the deets! The details! What were they arguing about? AlienQueen: that’s between them, and I wasn’t going to ask RIOT: yeah Bakubro came back in and started downing shots, so probably a fight like they did back in school. AlienQueen: who wants to place bets on the hangover he’s gonna have? RIOT: count me out, I wanna live Zappy-Boy: I’m with Kirishima. I like my head on my shoulders

Gossipy fucking idiots. But at least that filled in the blank of how he got home. He’s tempted to write back and tell them to fuck off but then he’d probably be bombarded, and he didn’t really want to chat much right now.

Next step; flop over and stare at the ceiling while contemplating the hangover and simultaneously trying not to think about the hangover. With an admittedly exaggerated groan, Bakugou rolls off his side and onto his back to stare into the vast emptiness of his bland white ceiling. At least it wasn’t a popcorn ceiling like Kirishima’s place. He didn’t know how that idiot could stand it... then again how often did someone look at their own ceiling?

He suddenly snorts out a laugh as a dark thought strikes him; if someone bottomed enough they probably were intimately familiar with the configuration of their ceiling. The immediate next thought is; Kirishima probably knows his ceiling is popcorn.

Unable to resist the temptation he snaps a picture of his ceiling and thumbs open the private message from his shark-toothed friend.

RIOT: let me know when you wake up. I need to know you’re not dead

Bakugou rolls his eyes at the redhead’s dramatics and sends the picture of his ceiling as a response along with a message.

Blasty: I didn’t know my ceiling was this smooth. Do you know what your ceiling looks like?

The little dots signaling an incoming response come up almost immediately and he has to repress a groan. As it is, he mutters ”Over-eager fuck” with a small smile.

RIOT: oh thank god you’re alive! RIOT: it’s popcorn, why? Blasty: that’s what I thought. Stare up at it a lot? RIOT: you’re being perverted, aren’t you? Blasty: always

He lays the phone down beside him and stares once more into the ceiling. Last night was a blur. He could recall bits and pieces, and a bit more now that he knew what some of those sensations and colors were, but for the most part after Midoriya showing up he didn’t remember much. From what he gathered from the group conversation he didn’t get blackout until after he and Midoriya fought? Which he certainly didn’t remember fighting. Was it a fist fight? A quick check of his knuckles and prodding his mouth with his fuzzy, disgustingly dry tongue answers that question; not a fist fight. So back to verbal sparring between them? That seemed more plausible.

The throb in his head makes itself known with an especially violent pang and he winces. Fuck, what the hell did he do last night? How much did he drink and why had the idiot-brigade let him?! The more frustrated he gets with the situation the more his headaches. The ache just adds fuel to his frustration and he finds himself gritting his teeth and internally cussing out the squad already.

"Good for nothing fucking assholes. They should have stopped me. They know how bad hangover is.” In a quick flash of unchecked anger, he chucks his phone across the bedroom and instantly regrets it. He's sitting up quickly to trace its path and make sure it’s intact but curses his decision when the urge to vomit nearly overwhelms him and sends him sprawling back onto the mattress to stare once more at the ceiling.

He lets out a rare for him, pained sob and throws an arm over his eyes to block out more light. “Whatever I did last night, I feel like karma’s kind of going overboard with revenge.” The empty apartment doesn’t answer and he sighs. “Bitch.”

BZZZZZTTTTT BZZZZZTTTTT BZZZZZTTTTT

“Motherfucker. Stop. I’m coming.”

Slowly he rolls over until he can claw himself off the bed and onto shaky feet. The room immediately tilts and he plunks down on his butt hard enough to snap his teeth together. "Fucking dammit. What the hell did I drink last night?"

It takes several minutes before the room settles enough for him to attempt standing again. Two steps are all he gets before he falls to his knees and ends up crawling the rest of the way to his phone. The screen looks intact and when he taps the screen it all seems to be working. Internally he thanks karma for not going as far as to break his phone.

The phone goes off once more in his hand and he almost drops it at seeing the name pop up on the screen;

DEKU.

Why the fuck was Deku messaging him?

With shaky fingers, he opens the message and this time does drop his phone. The words staring back don't change and sent a jolt of panic up his spine.

Deku wants to meet him. Deku wants to talk. Deku was apologizing.

If Deku was apologizing then Bakugou probably said something really fucked up. Fuck, if only he could remember what the hell had happened that would make Deku apologize.

With a resigned sigh, he flops stomach down on the floor and stares down his nose at his phone screen. The words weren't changing, they were still mocking him and giving him anxiety-butterflies. Why did Deku need to talk to him? Surely he knew Bakugou had a hangover.

”Uggghhh. Why does this morning suck balls?”

Only one way to find out what the fuck happened and that was to read his other messages and maybe ask someone. Probably Ashido, that gossipy bitch knew everything.

He snatches the phone back up and rolls over once more, managing to get himself into a cross-legged sitting position that wouldn’t topple his unsteady ass backward. There’s one missed message from Ashido as well when he checks.

AlienQueen: did you hurt that precious broccoli?! I’ll end you! Oh- and I hope you’re not dead, you were trashed

The message has one side of his mouth quirking up into a small smile. Good to see the ‘broccoli’ nickname had stuck and the group was using it. He probably should reply soon though or Ashido would insist Kirishima take her to him for proof of life.

Blasty: not dead, much to the general populace’s displeasure I’m sure

He chooses to ignore the part about hurting Midoriya because fuck if he knows what the hell happened. There was no way to answer that without lying. For all he knew the nerd was in a hospital. He winces a little at that thought and shakes it off. No, Shitty Hair would have told him if he’d done something that bad.

The response from Ashido jolts him from his dead-eyed stare and he jerks, fingers clenching around the plastic in his hand. Fuck, he was spacing out now.

AlienQueen: we’re glad you’re not dead, idiot. otherwise I would have had to summon your back from the grave to hand you an ass-whoopin Blasty: first off, you don’t have that kind of power. second, why the fuck? AlienQueen: first off, fuck you and I bet Tokoyami could so I’d ask him. second, did you get blackout drunk? Blasty: judging by the size of my enormous ass hangover, I’m gonna say yes? AlienQueen: why was that a question? Blasty: shutup Pinky and answer the question AlienQueen: I will, but first I wanna tell the others that you actually admitted to being hungover Blasty: fuck off, hair for brains already knows AlienQueen: well, that’s no fun AlienQueen: but fine AlienQueen: I’m sure you gathered you and Izuku got in a fight...again Blasty: yepppp AlienQueen: you came back in pissed off and went straight to drinking Blasty: I gathered that from the other messages AlienQueen: yeah well what you probably didn’t gather is you started rambling to Kirishima about shitty love confessions Blasty: stop right there I’m fucking calling you

Bakugou hauls himself off the floor and towards his bed once more, head barely landing on the pillows when he lays back down. He’s already calling Ashido by the time he rolls into his back again and gets comfortable enough where he doesn’t feel like vomiting. At this angle the sun is barely in his face and he’ll take it.

She picks up after the third ring with an overly chipper and probably purposely loud, “Hey Blasty Boy!”

He winces and yanks the phone from his ear but her shriek is still piercing. He cradled the phone between his shoulder and ear and examines his ceiling as he talks. A couple corners are looking dustier than he’d like, probably needed to get to them and clean soon.

“Pick up where you left off. And turn your volume down you shrieking siren.”

Ashido only giggles at his gruff tone and he growls a warning. “I was only teasing. You sound like shit, you really must be hungover.” From her end of the line, Bakugou hears cabinets closing and metal jangling around. She must be making food. He suppresses a groan as the thought of cooking food sends a new wave of nausea through him. “Anyways-,” another cabinet closes and he hears her softly curse, “-anyways, yeah. You were bitching to Kirishima about shitty love confessions and how it wasn’t right. Kirishima looked really upset about it but you kissed him on the cheek and he peeked back up. He really has it bad for you still, and I don’t see how.”

Bakugou rolls his eyes. She always got distracted with off-topic details. “Whose shitty love confession was I supposedly bitching about to Shark-face?”

“Apparently Midoriya’s?” Bakugou feels his heart stop and he wants to puke again for entirely non-hangover related reasons, and the feeling gets worse at Ashido’s next words. “Yeah, I guess you and Midoriya got in a verbal sparring match about him wanting to take you home and he finally came out and said he was in love with you. And like a fucking psychopath you rejected him and told him to leave you alone.” She heaves the most out-upon sigh he’s ever heard from the girl. “You’ve got a real fucking drinking problem, Katsuki. Once in awhile for fun isn’t bad but Eijirou says you’ve been doing it at home alone and you schedule around it. That sounds awful,” her voice goes soft towards the end and he feels his stomach twist again.

Was he really that bad that Kirishima was trying to enlist help from the rest of their friends? He swallows his pride and manages to breathe out his question, “Who else has he talked to about this?”

“Everyone. Hell, I think he even talked to All Might.” Bakugou’s curse cuts her off and she sighs again. “All Might said it was your problem to work through but he’d help if needed. Eijirou’s worries about you. We all are.”

“Well stop, I didn’t ask you to be worried.” Damn his pride.

“That’s not how friendship works, Bakugou. You know that.”

Her words jog something in his mind and he shakes it off. “If I promise to cut back will you guys quit worrying like nannies?”

“Only if you promise to also talk to Midoriya. He was pretty worried this morning when I talked to him. He said he was going to contact you.”

That explained the message. “Yeah, the fucking nerd sent me a message” he admits.

“So talk to him, and we’ll help you get the drinking under control. You know we can come over and hang out if work is stressing you out.” She sounds so sincere that he feels guilty.

He laughs quietly into the phone and he can hear Ashido’s answering giggle. “Having you guys here would stress me more.”

He can almost hear the smile in her words. “Just think about it, ‘kay Blasty? You know we love you.”

“Yeah yeah, now fuck off so I can go puke and shower and-“ he grimaces and pushes his bangs off his face- “call the nerd back so we can talk.”

“Tell him how you feel this time?”

“I said fuck off, PinkyPie.”

Her answering laugh is loud and she blows him a kiss through the phone before she hangs up.

Well fuck, now he’d have to follow through or she’d show up at his place with Kirishima and he didn’t want that.

The phone gets deposited back on the nightstand and the music starts back up.

“Volume up,” he growls to the room as he rolls out of bed and heads towards the attached bathroom. The shower was calling his name, and maybe he could take that time to think shit through. Like what the fuck was he going to tell Deku? And why the fuck did Deku want to talk to him? And also why the hell was the nerd apologizing if Bakugou was the one who was a dick last night?

“AHHHHHHHH!”

He yells into the emptiness of his bathroom and slams the shower door open to blast the water to nearly full heat. Knowing it would take a little bit to get as hot as he wanted he stomps back to the phone and snatches it up. He needed to text Deku now before he chickened out or conveniently forgot that he needed to message him.

The messages from the other man are still in his inbox where he left them, mocking him and making his insides squirm. Okay, fuck, he could do this.

Blasty: I need to take a shower and maybe vomit first, in no particular order Blasty: no clue why you want to apologize though, so maybe forget that part and we can talk Blasty: or not, whatever, because I have no clue what you want with me

There’s a few minutes of silence where all Bakugou hears is his music and the pounding of the water hitting the shower floor. Cathartic, he thinks with a small laugh.

Finally his phone vibrates again.

DEKU: oh! I’m sorry that I interrupted your shower DEKU: you can let me know when you’re done and I’ll come over? Blasty: you can just head over now, I’ll be quick DEKU: I don’t want to rush you, it’s fine DEKU: I’ll grab us coffee on the way DEKU: same as usual right? Blasty: yeah Blasty: just head over now, I don’t have to vomit anymore Blasty: I’ll be quick Blasty: & then we can get whatever you need to talk about over with DEKU: ...okay then. See you soon

Bakugou puts the phone back down and strips off his clothes on his way to the bathroom. Shirt, shorts, and boxers fall into a heap and finally he’s under the warm spray. It’s like a mini massage on his back and he can’t help the small moan that escapes his lips.

“Fuucckkkkk.”

He slides his palms against the cool tile wall and hangs his head. He can still feel a throbbing behind his eyes but it’s less now, the urge to vomit at every movement is gone at least. Standing slowly he leans back to dunk his head into the warm spray and groans again. Leaning backwards; not a good idea.

“Fuck. Shit. Fuck.” He repeats the mantra over and over as he backs against the wall he’d been leaning on and slides down to sit and put his head between his knees.

So maybe he wasn’t as good as he thought he was. He probably needed to take it easy for a little longer.

Three songs pass before he stands back up on shaky legs and finishes his shower as quick and efficiently as he can; not the best wash job on his hair or body but at least he didn’t smell like alcohol anymore. The thought of brushing his teeth is mildly sickening but he bears through it, towel draped around his waist as he hugs his sink in case he needs to get sick and ruin his clean teeth. Fuck mouthwash, he’ll deal without that for one day.

“Fuck, never again,” he swears as he stumbles back into the bedroom and starts digging through drawers for clothes.

One pair of boxers and pants later he hears a knock on the door. Deku. Little fuck probably ran over here with his quirk, probably forgot the coffee too.

Bakugou steps into his clothes and grabs a random shirt on his way to the door, another knock aggravating his slowly decaying headache. “I’m fucking coming, quit with the damn noise nerd!”

A squeak on the other side of the door makes him smirk and he tosses his shirt over his shoulder as he opens the door. The smirk turns positively feral when he catches Deku’s eyes lingering a little too long on his exposed torso. “See something you like, Izuku?”

The nerd’s cheeks go bright red and he shoves past Bakugou in a rush to get into the apartment and away from the blonde male at the door. “Put some clothes on, Kacchan! I have your coffee and I got you that cream cheese pastry you like,” he squeaks as he rushes to the kitchen.

Bakugou chuckles and closes the door before turning towards the kitchen and tugging his shirt on. “Yer good for something, s’good to know.” The pastry is heavenly in his mouth and the coffee warms his fingertips.

Nourishment taken care of he plops down onto his couch and nods to the spot next to him. “Sit, jackass. Let’s get this over with.”

Deku nods sheepishly and grabs up his own coffee shop items then sits on the couch beside Bakugou. The space between them has never felt so tense and both men can feel it.

Bakugou breaks the silence first. “What did you need to apologize for?”

Deku’s face goes so red Bakugou’s sure he could use him as a stoplight. It’s a sight to behold. The freckles dotting his face are like little dark constellations. “W-well, I figured we should talk about last night and-“

“Spit it out, nerd. I’m still hungover and don’t wanna deal with your mumbling.”

He can see Deku’s brain short-circuit and knows he’s in for a treat now; Deku tended to get dumb when he was called out. “IWANTTOAPOLOGIZEFORSAYINGILOVEYOU.”

Hearing it from Ashido earlier did not even begin to prepare Bakugou for this. Hell he’d even kind of forgot about it already. His own brain short circuits in a never ending cycle of vicious karma this morning and his mouth pops open.

“Oh.” Then, “No.”

#bakudeku #midoriya x bakugou #bakugou x midoriya #my hero academia #mha fanfic #bnha fanfiction #fanfiction

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idkwhoiamanymorebutwtf · 5 years ago

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Tangled Hunger Games: ROUND THREE (because I will keep going until Cass wins)

CASSIE NO! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? WHY-? this game is just off to a great start, huh?

Lance just killing an old lady, huh? An unarmed one?

Okay is it just me or is everyone especially brutal these days? Like goddamn, not only was Eugene willing to attack Cass and Raps, but they were both very willing to kill him in retaliation, not to mention the other two casualties.

We have Karma here in the form of both Lance and Rapunzel dying after brutally killing other’s themselves.

Cass with Zhan Tiri??? Okay wtf why does the game keep doing this? Does it know about the actual show? EVIL DEMON STEP AWAY FROM CASS I THOUGHT WE’VE BEEN OVER THIS.

oof, by calliope, i’m sure someone will miss you (but not me)

Karma continues as Cassandra and Quirin, the last two members of the group with actual blood on their hands, are killed. If this continues, Arianna and Adira will go out soon too.

...he kinda deserved it anyway tbh

I uh....I was joking earlier when I said Arianna would go soon.....

Stalyan you bitch why are you killing small children? ;-;

The pattern of anyone who kills dying soon after continues. Stalyan and Adira are gonna have to go, lol.

Stan and Hector, huh? What would Pete think?!?

Also, if that last part went a tiny bit differently, Stalyan and Adira could very well have died and the prophecy would be fulfilled.

Hector killed someone last turn, and now he himself has died. Stalyan and Adira were once again very close to death. At this rate, I predict that The Baron, Zhan Tiri, Pete, or Edmund will win since they’re the only ones the curse wouldn’t be after at this point.

My bets are on Zhan Tiri, Pete, or Edmund~

Pete or Edmund, place your votes, lol.

AND THE CURSE FINALLY STRIKES ADIRA

PETE IS OUT! IT’S EITHER STALYAN OR EDMUND AND I’M BETTING ON IT BEING EDMUND!

THE CURSE IS REAL. WHAT DID I TELL YOU?!?

#tangled #tangled the series #tts #rta #rapunzels tangled adventure

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queen-of-bel · 5 years ago

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Okay, I’ve been talking about writing this up for a while, so I’m finally going to do it.

It’s no surprise to my followers that I’m a hardcore Kandori fan and I wanted to list out the reasons why he’s so interesting to me.

Persona 1, Persona 2: Innocent Sin, and Persona 2: Eternal Punishment spoilers

Above all, Kandori is a very prideful man who focused so much on external accomplishments that he gave himself an identity crisis. He used other people’s achievements to secure his position as president of the Mikage-cho SEBEC branch, and made great strides by taking advantage of illegal dealings through Takeda.

However, he’s always been aware that he can’t take credit for these accomplishments, and he feels a sense of emptiness once he’s at the top. Here’s a snippet from his monologue in Deva Yuga:

Everyone wants something. No matter how small the desire… it gives them the strength to carry on. But… if every desire is fulfilled, what’s left to strive for? When one’s wishes have been granted, the only thing that awaits… is a bottomless solitude; an eternal emptiness…

At this point in his life, he’s absolutely bitter. He’s scared that his life has no meaning. Nanjo even points this out to Kandori by saying:

You despair at your inability to live any other way. It stems from one's anxiety for the future. "I want to risk it… But I can't… If only I could disappear…

Kandori is suffering, but is too prideful to ask for help. After all, why would a young and successful branch president have any reason to be discontent?

As a result, he stews in resentment. Instead of placing the blame on himself, he faults the world around him. This selfishness leads him to hate his surroundings and wish for its destruction.

Evidence of Kandori’s anxiety can also be found in a pretty obscure place. In the 2nd track of the first disc of the Megami Ibunroku Persona OST & Arrange Album, there is a song called Deva Yuga (Arranged Version), where the lyrics are actually supposed to represent Kandori and Maki talking to each other. Here are a few quotes from Kandori that I think are really interesting:

Being alive is a mere illusion.

Why are we born?

Why are we even alive?

No one has the answers.

It's an endless labyrinth for the soul.

The heavy cross that we bear goes by the name of 'karma'.

No one can escape it.

We surrender our bodies to fleeting pleasures and try to forget,

but the eternal doubt still remains, shimmering deep in our souls.

When Kandori talks about no one being able to escape karma, this is proof that he feels that he cannot change his situation. To him, even if he were able to change a situation, there's always going to be another one to have to deal with. This is evident in his conversation with Maki (Kandori's dialogue is bolded):

"I want to change."

"That's a waste of time."

"I can't change..."

"There's no meaning in life, you should know that."

"I don't want to be alone! Someone get me out of here! It's so dark in here!"

"You and I are the same."

Kandori laments that he doesn't know why he's alive and has no reason to live. Maki expresses the desire to change, but Kandori tells her it's a waste of time to try and do that. Maki also expresses her fear of being alone, and that she wants to escape, to which Kandori responds that he feels the same.

So now, we can paint a clear picture of the type of person Kandori is.

Kandori is highly ambitious in the sense that he seeks achievements which publicly make him look good, and he'll do anything it takes to achieve that goal. He thinks that if he were to become successful, he will find that his life has meaning. However, he's self-aware in knowing that he can't actually take credit for his accomplishments and instead of rectifying it, he becomes fiercely in denial-- insisting that life has no meaning at all.

He's gotten to the top, but still feels empty. He's scared that if he tries to do anything else, he won't get the satisfaction he's looking for. He believes that people's futures are predetermined, and if he's destined to feel empty and miserable, then so be it.

Now, this is where things start to get interesting.

We know that the next goal Kandori had was to become God and annihilate humanity.

Obviously, there are some red flags in that logic. Wanting to make the jump from a branch president to God is… extreme. So I think we can safely say that this is where Nyarlathotep began influencing Kandori.

As we see in Persona 2, if Nyarlathotep decides he wants to take advantage of you, then you’re kind of fucked. The only person we’ve seen break free is Jun, but that was because of Jun’s immensely strong desire to protect Maya.

Kandori, on the other hand, had nothing that he felt that strongly about. He had nobody that he cared about, his parents are dead, and he was frustrated at his standing in life.

It’s also been stated that Nyarlathotep is the reason behind the entire Mikage-cho incident. As a result, we can assume that Nyarlathotep came into the picture after Kandori became branch president, but before the development of the DEVA system.

Another thing that points to Nyarlathotep being involved with the development of the Deva system is something Kandori mentions in the chamber of the Deva system.

Nothing else will be hurt. Only mankind will be wiped from this planet.

It’s weird that Kandori would make this distinction. What’s the difference to him if the world disappears or just humanity is destroyed?

This ties back into Nyarlathotep’s bet with Philemon– that humanity will inevitably destroy itself.

Now, of course, there is the argument that Maki also wished for mankind specifically to be destroyed, and she wasn't influenced by Nyarlathotep. But there is an important distinction between Maki and Kandori.

Maki held a grudge against humanity as a whole. Her nihilistic outlook stemmed from jealousy that other people were able to enjoy life while she was stuck in a hospital room. She had a specific reason to want mankind and mankind alone to be destroyed.

Kandori, on the other hand, had no grudge against other people. His nihilistic outlook was simply because he was a miserable person. He wallowed in his own suffering, yet refused to take the blame for any of it. For someone with that level of detachment, it shouldn't matter to him if only humanity was destroyed, or if the entire world was.

If we take a look at the Deva Yuga lyrics again, Kandori says:

"Grief and joy, anger and sadness... it's all an illusion.

Who needs such transience in life? That's why I'm going to…"

So, Kandori isn't frustrated at humanity, he just thinks everything around him is a pain. Emotions are just fleeting uselessness. He doesn't particularly hate mankind, he just has no need for anything in life.

And yet, his plan specifically targeted people, and he was very conscious in making sure nothing else was harmed. This doesn't sound like the Kandori we know so far. This sounds like Nyarlathotep.

When we take all of these points into consideration, I think it's safe to assume that Nyarlathotep became involved with Kandori before the development of the Deva system, and Kandori developed his god complex after that.

I want to stress that I'm not claiming Kandori is an innocent person. He was a shady businessman who ran the Mikage-cho branch like a mafia. But his ego hadn't ascended to a point where he believed he had transcended humanity. I firmly believe that was Nyarlathotep's doing.

Even though his detachment was what led to this whole mess, he ironically formed a genuine connection with Maki throughout the Deva system's development. He certainly bonded with Aki over their nihilistic desires.

In Deva Yuga, he knew that Naoya and the others came to fight him. Aki has the power to take them down easily (I’ll touch more on that later), and yet he sent Aki away.

Aki tells the group "You guys are so aggravating! I won't let you get in my Daddy's way!"

Kandori then counters by saying "...That's enough, Aki. Stay back. Wait in the other room. I'll be with you soon."

The reason for Kandori's reaction is simple– he didn’t want Aki to fight and, more importantly, he didn’t want Maki to become like him. Take a look at what he says after the battle with Naoya:

Maki Sonomura… she needs to discover her true self. If she doesn't, she'll share my fate… Go to her… Don't let her go down that lonely path.

At this point, Kandori is literally dying. He doesn’t have to care about anything, but he uses his last breaths to ask for Maki to be saved. He knows his life is miserable, and doesn’t want her to experience the same thing.

Another time that points to Kandori’s care for Maki is in the Mana Castle.

Mark, Nanjo, Maki, and the optional party member (I’m using Reiji as this example) all express their anger and disgust at what Kandori is planning. Kandori uses Aki to strike down Reiji, Nanjo, and Mark.

Interestingly, he spares Maki, despite her attempt to turn Aki against him by telling Aki that Kandori isn't her real Daddy.

If he truly was a nihilistic god who wants to destroy humanity, shouldn’t he have attacked Maki for speaking against God, too?

So not only is Kandori showing signs of weakness around Maki, he also hints at times that he doesn't totally buy into the authoritarian god complex he touts. He's very insecure, and has doubts about the path he's chosen.

A big indication of these doubts is when he crowd-sourced ideas of the meaning of life from a bunch of random high school kids. He tells Naoya

Boy… I allowed you to come here in order to ask you this: Why do you cling to life?

Kandori has achieved his ultimate goal– to become God. And yet, he still feels the same emptiness he felt when he became the president of the Mikage-cho branch. At this point, he was truly desperate for his life to have any meaning.

Later, Kandori was goaded into fighting by when Nanjo bluntly pointed out all of Kandori's shortcomings. Kandori says his retaliation is punishment for speaking against God, but the next thing he says is very interesting.

Can you defeat me? Can you protect the things you claim are precious? Then prove it before god's throne!

This hints that his true reason for fighting isn't to preserve his ego, but he wants to see what a person can accomplish if they have meaning in life.

However, his mind so jumbled and his logic is contradictory that he can't seem to decide what he wants. He does still have his god complex, and as such, still believes that he can win the battle. When he is faced with the truth, though he is shocked that he lost to a bunch of high school kids:

Ngh… I refuse to accept this! I'm supposed to have transcended man!

However, despite what he says, he is ready to admit defeat. Until Nyarlathotep directly intervenes.

Kandori says that something is forcing itself into him, and Nyarlathotep responds by saying "I shall give you the power you desire." Kandori pleads with Nyarlathotep to stop, but is ignored.

If Kandori truly wanted to win the battle, he wouldn’t have refused Nyarlathotep’s help. However, it’s clear that Kandori was ready to concede to Naoya, despite his initial denial.

Of course, Nyarlathotep says that Kandori desired this power, but we also know that Nyarlathotep is a liar (see the shadow selves in P2). Looking at Kandori's explicit plea to stop, and the fact that Nyarlathotep is forcing himself to fuse with Kandori, it's pretty obvious that Kandori didn't want to continue the fight.

Another time in the game that points to Kandori’s true feelings is when he summons Saurva to fight the group before leaving for Deva Yuga.

Objects of one's desire cannot be easily obtained. But the joy of overcoming obstacles to obtaining them is the highest bliss.

This is very interesting because he admits that achieving your dream isn’t what makes people happy, but the greatest satisfaction occurs when you overcome the obstacles in your path to your dream.

(Side note, this ties in very nicely with P2:IS as a point of why Jun's wish fulfillment isn't a good thing, but that's for another post)

Because he views himself as God, he's not saying this as a piece of advice to the youth. He's stating this as an absolute fact of life. This is something he truly believes in, and also believes that other people should accept as well.

In some sense, it feels like he's trying to do them a favor in some twisted way. Of course, by summoning Saurva, there's a chance that Naoya would die, but remember, Kandori initially had no intention to fight Naoya. Kandori allowed Naoya to reach him in order to ask what he was living for. By giving Naoya the satisfaction of defeating Saurva, it felt like Kandori wanted to give Naoya and his friends a sense of happiness and feeling of accomplishment.

Another time where Kandori shows his contradictory behavior is in the undersea ruins after he is revived by Nyarlathotep.

He tells Maya that Tatsuzou has already headed to Torifune, and says "I'd like to tell you to chase them, but… I'm just a peon… I can't let you return."

In saying this, he implies that he, too, wants Tatsuzou's plans to be stopped.

After the fight, he tells the group to hurry and save themselves. Depending on who is in your party, Nanjo or Eriko will plead Kandori to escape with them, but Kandori fires a warning shot, and says he would rather die.

Clearly, Kandori didn't learn his lesson from his first life. Nanjo commented in Deva Yuga that Kandori despairs at his inability to change the situations that cause him suffering, and Kandori's false belief in the concept of fate was the crux of his downfall.

Despite seeming like an ambitious person, Kandori is actually very weak-willed, and is too scared to make any meaningful changes in his life. This is why he allows himself to be Nyarlathotep's pawn, as Tatsuya notes by saying

Guido is aware of [Nyarlathotep's] existence. But why is he aiding the New World Order…? Can it be he's willing to be a pawn…?

Another thing that hadn't changed between Kandori's lives is his desire to hear another person say something that gives him hope. I already talked about him wanting to see what Naoya and his friends are capable of when they feel they have a reason to live.

Additionally, when he's dying in Deva Yuga, he admits to Nanjo that he had been waiting for somebody to see the true him and say that aloud to him.

Maybe I summoned you here because I wanted to hear someone say it… Hah. I must seem a fool… but I feel remarkably content.

In both the research lab and the undersea ruins, he implies that he feels he can't escape Nyarlathotep's grasp.

When Nanjo questions Kandori's motives, Kandori merely replies by saying

Hmph… "The fate of those who are enchanted by the shadows"... I'll leave it at that…

It's a small comment, but what I find really interesting is the part in quotes. This means that somebody else told this to him. Remember, Kandori's biggest weakness is believing that fate is inescapable.

In case it isn't obvious, this "somebody" is clearly Nyarlathotep. Kandori knows about the existence of the Other Side, and who Nyarlathotep exactly is, so Nyarlathotep is clearly directly involved. Kandori isn't choosing this path of his own volition, but is doing so because somebody took advantage of his weakness and told him that this is what he is destined to do.

This point is reiterated in the undersea ruins when Kandori says

Light has its role… Shadows have their role… That's just how it is...

I think it's pretty obvious that Kandori doesn't feel a desire to fight Tatsuya or Maya, but he doesn't feel that he has the power to refuse the role that Nyarlathotep and the New World Order had demanded of him. This is again apparent after being defeated in the undersea ruins. He tells Tatsuya

Magnificent… But… it is not easy for one embraced by the shadows to escape from its grasp… Can you break the chains of fate?

To which Tatsuya replies:

That's why I came… I'll never let that sadness happen again...

This is what Kandori wanted to hear. Remember, he actually wanted Maya to stop Tatsuzou, but felt that he was fated to prevent her from doing so. Chizuru even points this out herself by saying "You wanted to hear the words… from the boy?" Kandori, probably too caught up in his pride, doesn't explicitly confirm this, but doesn't deny it either. Instead, he apologizes to Chizuru for leading her to her death.

I really liked this part because it shows that Kandori is still capable of caring for others, no matter how far he has gone. He is aware that what he is doing is evil, but he doesn't want to see the people he cares for to be dragged down to his depths.

Clearly Kandori is a very contradictory person. As I stated earlier, he is certainly not a "good" person, and yet, we can't write him off as a bad person either. Maki, who should be the person who hates Kandori the most, becomes upset to hear that Kandori was revived, only to die again. She says that she doesn't believe Kandori was a bad person, and wishes she had the opportunity to meet with him again.

Kandori is really interesting to me because he clearly has a proper moral compass, but once he strayed from that, he feels he is too weak to realign himself. He wants external validation from others, but feels too prideful to follow their lead. Overall, Nanjo said it best-- Kandori is a very pitiful man.

#man this ended up being pretty long for a character who only has like.. 30 minutes of screentime across 3 games #persona 1 #persona 2 eternal punishment #takahisa kandori #amelia rambles #my love and life #p1 #p2

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