#piece of writing advice; Boring characters are boring!!

[bonefall]

I feel like the Warriors writers are allergic to making a character be cool. Like they all have to be an every man from humble origins and stuff nowadays. Why can't we ever just jump in like 'yeah this guy has cool river powers so we follow him' and BAM have an actual interesting story/concept/world it's always gotta be 'here is how he learns how to swim he is not special and here is his biography now :)' and its driving me NUTS these books are about! cats with magic powers!!

SO true, like, it's as if they saw the backlash to Tigerheart's resurrection and got scared of ever doing anything cool ever again. And they're COWARDS for it. THIS SERIES HAS ALWAYS HAD MAGIC. FUCK OFFFFF, THE CATS CAN DIE 9 TIMES AND FEAR THE WRATH OF GODS, GROW A SPINE

They didn't even HAVE to give him cool ass water powers or anything, just a special connection to the river, y'know? Have him treat it like a living being when others just think it's water. EASY. But nooooo They'll take the only good founder and be like, "What if he had nothing cool about him at all and his wife taught him everything actually."

[derinwrites]

The Three Commandments

The thing about writing is this: you gotta start in medias res, to hook your readers with action immediately. But readers aren’t invested in people they know nothing about, so start with a framing scene that instead describes the characters and the stakes. But those scenes are boring, so cut straight to the action, after opening with a clever quip, but open in the style of the story, and try not to be too clever in the opener, it looks tacky. One shouldn’t use too many dialogue tags, it’s distracting; but you can use ‘said’ a lot, because ‘said’ is invisible, but don’t use ‘said’ too much because it’s boring and uninformative – make sure to vary your dialogue tags to be as descriptive as possible, except don’t do that because it’s distracting, and instead rely mostly on ‘said’ and only use others when you need them. But don’t use ‘said’ too often; you should avoid dialogue tags as much as you possibly can and indicate speakers through describing their reactions. But don’t do that, it’s distracting.

Having a viewpoint character describe themselves is amateurish, so avoid that. But also be sure to describe your viewpoint character so that the reader can picture them. And include a lot of introspection, so we can see their mindset, but don’t include too much introspection, because it’s boring and takes away from the action and really bogs down the story, but also remember to include plenty of introspection so your character doesn’t feel like a robot. And adverbs are great action descriptors; you should have a lot of them, but don’t use a lot of adverbs; they’re amateurish and bog down the story. And

The reason new writers are bombarded with so much outright contradictory writing advice is that these tips are conditional. It depends on your style, your genre, your audience, your level of skill, and what problems in your writing you’re trying to fix. Which is why, when I’m writing, I tend to focus on what I call my Three Commandments of Writing. These are the overall rules; before accepting any writing advice, I check whether it reinforces one of these rules or not. If not, I ditch it.

1: Thou Shalt Have Something To Say

What’s your book about?

I don’t mean, describe to me the plot. I mean, why should anybody read this? What’s its thesis? What’s its reason for existence, from the reader’s perspective? People write stories for all kinds of reasons, but things like ‘I just wanted to get it out of my head’ are meaningless from a reader perspective. The greatest piece of writing advice I ever received was you putting words on a page does not obligate anybody to read them. So why are the words there? What point are you trying to make?

The purpose of your story can vary wildly. Usually, you’ll be exploring some kind of thesis, especially if you write genre fiction. Curse Words, for example, is an exploration of self-perpetuating power structures and how aiming for short-term stability and safety can cause long-term problems, as well as the responsibilities of an agitator when seeking to do the necessary work of dismantling those power structures. Most of the things in Curse Words eventually fold back into exploring this question. Alternately, you might just have a really cool idea for a society or alien species or something and want to show it off (note: it can be VERY VERY HARD to carry a story on a ‘cool original concept’ by itself. You think your sky society where they fly above the clouds and have no rainfall and have to harvest water from the clouds below is a cool enough idea to carry a story: You’re almost certainly wrong. These cool concept stories work best when they are either very short, or working in conjunction with exploring a theme). You might be writing a mystery series where each story is a standalone mystery and the point is to present a puzzle and solve a fun mystery each book. Maybe you’re just here to make the reader laugh, and will throw in anything you can find that’ll act as framing for better jokes. In some genres, readers know exactly what they want and have gotten it a hundred times before and want that story again but with different character names – maybe you’re writing one of those. (These stories are popular in romance, pulp fantasy, some action genres, and rather a lot of types of fanfiction).

Whatever the main point of your story is, you should know it by the time you finish the first draft, because you simply cannot write the second draft if you don’t know what the point of the story is. (If you write web serials and are publishing the first draft, you’ll need to figure it out a lot faster.)

Once you know what the point of your story is, you can assess all writing decisions through this lens – does this help or hurt the point of my story?

2: Thou Shalt Respect Thy Reader’s Investment

Readers invest a lot in a story. Sometimes it’s money, if they bought your book, but even if your story is free, they invest time, attention, and emotional investment. The vast majority of your job is making that investment worth it. There are two factors to this – lowering the investment, and increasing the payoff. If you can lower your audience’s suspension of disbelief through consistent characterisation, realistic (for your genre – this may deviate from real realism) worldbuilding, and appropriately foreshadowing and forewarning any unexpected rules of your world. You can lower the amount of effort or attention your audience need to put into getting into your story by writing in a clear manner, using an entertaining tone, and relying on cultural touchpoints they understand already instead of pushing them in the deep end into a completely unfamiliar situation. The lower their initial investment, the easier it is to make the payoff worth it.

Two important notes here: one, not all audiences view investment in the same way. Your average reader views time as a major investment, but readers of long fiction (epic fantasies, web serials, et cetera) often view length as part of the payoff. Brandon Sanderson fans don’t grab his latest book and think “Uuuugh, why does it have to be so looong!” Similarly, some people like being thrown in the deep end and having to put a lot of work into figuring out what the fuck is going on with no onboarding. This is one of science fiction’s main tactics for forcibly immersing you in a future world. So the valuation of what counts as too much investment varies drastically between readers.

Two, it’s not always the best idea to minimise the necessary investment at all costs. Generally, engagement with art asks something of us, and that’s part of the appeal. Minimum-effort books do have their appeal and their place, in the same way that idle games or repetitive sitcoms have their appeal and their place, but the memorable stories, the ones that have staying power and provide real value, are the ones that ask something of the reader. If they’re not investing anything, they have no incentive to engage, and you’re just filling in time. This commandment does not exist to tell you to try to ask nothing of your audience – you should be asking something of your audience. It exists to tell you to respect that investment. Know what you’re asking of your audience, and make sure that the ask is less than the payoff.

The other way to respect the investment is of course to focus on a great payoff. Make those characters socially fascinating, make that sacrifice emotionally rending, make the answer to that mystery intellectually fulfilling. If you can make the investment worth it, they’ll enjoy your story. And if you consistently make their investment worth it, you build trust, and they’ll be willing to invest more next time, which means you can ask more of them and give them an even better payoff. Audience trust is a very precious currency and this is how you build it – be worth their time.

But how do you know what your audience does and doesn’t consider an onerous investment? And how do you know what kinds of payoff they’ll find rewarding? Easy – they self-sort. Part of your job is telling your audience what to expect from you as soon as you can, so that if it’s not for them, they’ll leave, and if it is, they’ll invest and appreciate the return. (“Oh but I want as many people reading my story as possible!” No, you don’t. If you want that, you can write paint-by-numbers common denominator mass appeal fic. What you want is the audience who will enjoy your story; everyone else is a waste of time, and is in fact, detrimental to your success, because if they don’t like your story then they’re likely to be bad marketing. You want these people to bounce off and leave before you disappoint them. Don’t try to trick them into staying around.) Your audience should know, very early on, what kind of an experience they’re in for, what the tone will be, the genre and character(s) they’re going to follow, that sort of thing. The first couple of chapters of Time to Orbit: Unknown, for example, are a micro-example of the sorts of mysteries that Aspen will be dealing with for most of the book, as well as a sample of their character voice, the way they approach problems, and enough of their background, world and behaviour for the reader to decide if this sort of story is for them. We also start the story with some mildly graphic medical stuff, enough physics for the reader to determine the ‘hardness’ of the scifi, and about the level of physical risk that Aspen will be putting themselves at for most of the book. This is all important information for a reader to have.

If you are mindful of the investment your readers are making, mindful of the value of the payoff, and honest with them about both from the start so that they can decide whether the story is for them, you can respect their investment and make sure they have a good time.

3: Thou Shalt Not Make Thy World Less Interesting

This one’s really about payoff, but it’s important enough to be its own commandment. It relates primarily to twists, reveals, worldbuilding, and killing off storylines or characters. One mistake that I see new writers make all the time is that they tank the engagement of their story by introducing a cool fun twist that seems so awesome in the moment and then… is a major letdown, because the implications make the world less interesting.

“It was all a dream” twists often fall into this trap. Contrary to popular opinion, I think these twists can be done extremely well. I’ve seen them done extremely well. The vast majority of the time, they’re very bad. They’re bad because they take an interesting world and make it boring. The same is true of poorly thought out, shocking character deaths – when you kill a character, you kill their potential, and if they’re a character worth killing in a high impact way then this is always a huge sacrifice on your part. Is it worth it? Will it make the story more interesting? Similarly, if your bad guy is going to get up and gloat ‘Aha, your quest was all planned by me, I was working in the shadows to get you to acquire the Mystery Object since I could not! You have fallen into my trap! Now give me the Mystery Object!’, is this a more interesting story than if the protagonist’s journey had actually been their own unmanipulated adventure? It makes your bad guy look clever and can be a cool twist, but does it mean that all those times your protagonist escaped the bad guy’s men by the skin of his teeth, he was being allowed to escape? Are they retroactively less interesting now?

Whether these twists work or not will depend on how you’ve constructed the rest of your story. Do they make your world more or less interesting?

If you have the audience’s trust, it’s permissible to make your world temporarily less interesting. You can kill off the cool guy with the awesome plan, or make it so that the Chosen One wasn’t actually the Chosen One, or even have the main character wake up and find out it was all a dream, and let the reader marinate in disappointment for a little while before you pick it up again and turn things around so that actually, that twist does lead to a more interesting story! But you have to pick it up again. Don’t leave them with the version that’s less interesting than the story you tanked for the twist. The general slop of interest must trend upward, and your sacrifices need to all lead into the more interesting world. Otherwise, your readers will be disappointed, and their experience will be tainted.

Whenever I’m looking at a new piece of writing advice, I view it through these three rules. Is this plot still delivering on the book’s purpose, or have I gone off the rails somewhere and just stared writing random stuff? Does making this character ‘more relateable’ help or hinder that goal? Does this argument with the protagonists’ mother tell the reader anything or lead to any useful payoff; is it respectful of their time? Will starting in medias res give the audience an accurate view of the story and help them decide whether to invest? Does this big twist that challenges all the assumptions we’ve made so far imply a world that is more or less interesting than the world previously implied?

Hopefully these can help you, too.

[erika-xero]

Beware, the long post incoming. Pro tips for artists who work on commissions!

DISCLAIMER: I do not have, like, a HUGE online following and can’t be called a popular or viral artist, but I do have some experience and I’ve been working as a freelance artist for more that five years, so I could share a few tips on how to work with clients with my fellow artists. Scroll down for the short summary!

First of all, you always need to have your Terms of Service written down in a document that is accessible for your potential clients. And by terms of service I don’t mean a set of rules like “I don’t draw mecha, anthro and N/S/F/W”. There is much more into it, than you may think when you first start drawing commissions.

You’ll need to understand how copyright law/author’s rights in your country works (for example, US copyright or Russian author’s rights, be sure to check your local resources). There are a bunch of sites where you can actually read some legal documents (. I know it might be boring, but TRUST me, you WILL need this knowledge if you choose this career path.

Russia, for example, is plagued with shops selling anime merchandise. The merchandise is usually printed somewhere in the basement of the shop and the shop owners literally rip off other people’s intellectual property. If the artist ask them to remove their IP from the shop the owners usually try to fool them with lies about how the IP works. They will tell you, that you have to register copyright on every single drawing and if you don’t do it anyone can reproduce and sell your artwork. In reality, copyright law in most countries simply doesn’t work this way. Once you create an original work and fix it, take a photograph, write a song or blog entry, paint an artwork, you already are the author and the owner. Yes, there are certain procedures of copyright registration, which is only a step to enhance the protection, but you become an author the very moment you create a piece of art, and no one have a right to take your creation from you. Knowing your rights is essential.

Some of your commissioners may try to scam you too, but most of them might simply not be aware of how copyright law works. I literally had people asking me questions whether or not the character I am commissioned to draw becomes MY intellectual property. I literally had to convince the person (who was legit scared, since the commissioned piece was going to be a first image of his character ever created) otherwise. If you have an idea of the character written down or fixed in any other form such as a collage, a sketch, or a concept art -- the character is yours. Artist may have rights to the image they create, but not the character itself. Your potential commissioner must acknowledge that their characters, settings and etc. is still theirs, while your artwork is yours, if your contract doesn’t state otherwise. You can sell the property rights on your artwork to your commissioner if you want, but it is unnecessary for non-commercial commissions. And I strongly advice you to distinguish the non-commercial commissions from commercial ones and set the different pricing for them. Even if you sell ownership of your artwork to your commissioner, you can not sell the authorship. You will always remain an author of your artwork, thus you still have all the author’s rights stated in the legal documents.

Another thing that is absolutely necessary to be stated in your terms of service is information whether (and when) it is possible to get a refund from you. You absolutely have to write it down: no. refunds. for finished. artworks.

You have already invested time and effort to finish an artwork. The job is done and the money is yours. I’ve heard stories of commissioners demanding refund a few months later after the commission was finished and approved by the commissioners, because, quote “I do not want it anymore”. Commissioning an artist doesn’t work this way, artwork is not an item purchased on shein or aliexpress that can be sent back to the seller. It is not a mass production. It is a unique piece of art. Example: My friend once drew a non-commercial commission for a client who tried to use it commercially later on. She contacted him and reminded of the Terms of Service he agreed with, offering him to pay a fee for commercializing the piece instead of taking him to the court or starting a drama. He declined and suddenly demanded a full refund for that commission via Paypal services. My friend contacted the supports and showed them the entire correspondence with that client. She also stated that the invoice he paid included a link to the Terms and Service he had to agree with if he pays that invoid. The money were returned to her.

However, partial refund can be possible at the certain stage of work. For example, the sketch is done, but something goes horribly wrong. Either the client appeared to be a toxic person, or an artist does not have a required skill to finish the job. I suggest you keep the money for the sketch, but refund the rest of the sum. It might be 50/50 like I suggested to my clients before (when I still could work with Paypal), but it really depends on your choise. I suggest not doing a full refund though for many reasons: not only you make yourself vulnerable, but you also might normalize a practice harmful to other artists this way.

The main reason why full refund when the sketch/line-art are done must not be an option is that some clients may commission other artists with lower prices to finish the job. This brings us to the next important point: you absolutely need to forbid your clients from altering, coloring or overpainting your creation or commission other artists to do so. This also protects your artwork from being cropped, changed with Instagram filters or even being edited into a N/S/F/W image. Speaking of which. If you create adult content, you absolutely need to state that to request such a commission, your commissioner must at least be 18/21 years old (depending on your country). And as for the SFW commissions you also have to state that if someone underage commissions an artwork from you it is automatically supposed that they have a parental concern.

There is also a popular way to scam artist via some payment systems, called I-did-not-receive-a-package. Most of the payment systems automatically suppose that you sell goods which have to be physically delivered via postal services. This is why it is important to state (both in the Terms of Service and the payment invoice itself) that what commissioner is about to receive is a digital good.

And the last, but not the least: don’t forget about alterations and changes the commissioner might want to make on the way. Some people do not understand how difficult it may be to make a major change in the artwork when it is almost finished. Always let your commissioners know that all the major changes are only acceptable at early stages: sketch, line-art, basic coloring. Later on, it is only possible to make the minor ones. I prefer to give my commissioner’s this info in private emails along with the WIPs I send, but you can totally state it in your Terms of Service. I do not limit the changes to five or three per commission, but I really do appreciate it when I get all the necessary feedback in time.

To sum this post up, the info essential for your Terms of Service doc is:

- The information on whether or not your commissions are commercial or non-commercial. If they are non-commercial, is there a way to commercialize them? At what cost?

- The information on author’s and commissioner’s rights;

- The information on whether (and when) refunds are possible;

- The prohibition of coloring, cropping, overpainting and other alterations;

- The information on whether or not you provide the commissioner with some physical goods or with digital goods only;

- Don’t forget about your commissioner’s age! If you work with client who is a minor, a parental consern is required. And no n/s/f/w for underage people!

- You may also want to include that you can refuse to work on the commission without explanation in case you encounter a toxic client or feel like it might be some sort of scam.

- I also strongly suggest you work with prepay, either full or 50% of total sum, it usually scares off the scammers. I take my prepay after me and my client agree on a rough doodle of an overall composition.

- I also include the black list of the themes: everyting offensive imaginable (sexism, homophobia, transfobia, racism, for N/S/F/W artists it also might be some certain fetishes and etc). Keep your reputation clean!

- Ban N/F/T and blacklist the commissioners who turn your artworks into them anywayss, don’t be shy <3

These are the things that are absolutely necessary but are so rarely seen in artists’ Terms of Service that it makes me sad. Some of these tips really helped me to avoid scams and misunderstandings. I really hope it helps you all!

[unboundprompts]

How do I make something happen in my story? I’m writing a murder mystery where they are all stuck in a theater. all the characters have been just sitting around talking for two chapters now and it’s getting boring. How do I add action or movement without derailing the story?

How to Add Movement to a Murder Mystery without Derailing the Story

Here are some ideas for you to consider!

1. Introduce a New Clue or Discovery

Unexpected Evidence: Have a character stumble upon a crucial piece of evidence. This could be a hidden note, a strange item, or an overlooked detail that propels the investigation forward.

Surprising Revelation: Perhaps someone finds a hidden compartment in the theater with items related to the murder. This could spark new theories and discussions among the characters.

2. Create a Disruption

Theatrical Effect: Use the theater setting to your advantage. For example, the lights could suddenly go out, or there could be an unexpected sound or event (like a prop falling) that causes chaos and forces the characters to act quickly.

Power Outage: A sudden blackout could create confusion and force the characters to rely on each other, which could reveal new dynamics and secrets.

3. Introduce Conflict

Accusations and Tension: Allow tensions to rise by having characters confront each other with accusations or suspicions. This could lead to heated arguments or confrontations that reveal more about each character's motives.

Personal Conflicts: Bring underlying personal conflicts or grudges to the surface. This could create drama and reveal new aspects of the characters that influence their behavior and decisions.

4. Add a Time Crunch

Imminent Threat: Introduce a sense of urgency by suggesting that the murderer might strike again or that there’s a time limit for solving the crime before a more severe consequence occurs (e.g., a ticking clock or a scheduled event).

Urgent Action: Characters could discover that they need to find a specific clue or solve a puzzle before the theater is locked down or before someone else arrives.

5. Dynamic Character Actions

Shifting Alliances: Characters might decide to split up to search the theater more effectively. This could lead to new discoveries and interactions.

Personal Goals: Characters could pursue personal objectives or hidden agendas that complicate the investigation and create movement in the story.

6. Revelatory Dialogue

New Information: Characters could reveal previously hidden motives or secrets in their conversations, adding new layers to the mystery and prompting action.

Unexpected Accusation: A character might make a surprising accusation that causes everyone to reevaluate their theories and actions.

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[writers-potion]

this is a little hyper specific lmao but i was wondering if you have any advice on writing a pov character being mysterious? tyyy

Writing A Mysterious POV Character

Thanks for the question!

Here are some characteristics that I think makes a POV character "mysterious"

The reader is not meant to understand everything the POV character says, describes or alludes to.

The POV character actively holds off information from the readers either because (1) it's hard for them to talk about it or (2) they don't think it's important, somehow.

They reconstruct the narrative in the way they perceive it, not following the chronological order of events and often providing piecemeal information that only (if ever) comes together at the end.

The POV character simply has a wholly different perspective that a human reader will have difficulties understanding (i.e. story told from an animal or alien's POV)

I think the best way to portray this is to provide examples, which I think qualify as mysterious narrators. Note that not all mysterious narrators are unreliable narrators, although they could be. Here are the selected narrators and a few extracts for illustration purposes, divided by loosely defined subcategories (there can be overlaps!):

Incomprehensive Jargon & Allusions

Given that you can do this without boring or genuinely pissing off the reader, using lots of jargon, making allusions to things your target audience will probably not know to create atmosphere can be effective.

I recommend having a strong thematic core to justify all that jargon and reference, though.

Richard Papen from <The Secret History> by Donna Tartt

The characters talk and make references to Greek/the Classics. Arguably, it is not "incomprehensible", but the entire book is tirelessly full of them and unless you are a scholar in a related field, very unlikely to know all the Greek/ancient works being referenced all the time.

by M.L.Rio

Interesting style where the characters talk and even think in Shakespeare. They literally quote lines from Shakespeare to talk to each other. Not as difficult to follow as <The Secret History>, given that these are q famous plays (Hamlet, Macbeth, etc.) but it certainly adds well to the mystery at the heart of the book's plot.

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Witholding Information

Have your narrator subtely refer to a large event in their past (a murder, a traumatic memory, etc) but never telling the reader upfront, making them only make implied guesses.

The only reservation I would have for this option is to not annoy the reader by letting them know the narrator has information, but is somehow not telling them. It would help to have a clear reason for them to not talk about it: e.g. they haven't accepted the past themselves, they're too scared to talk about it, etc.

by Eliza Clark

In here, the narrator has killed someone in the past - a fact that only becomes kind of clear at the end. Even then, the murder is never referenced because this narrator has some serious mental issues, but when you look back with this knowledge at the end of the book, her behavior starts making more sense.

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Reconstructing the Narrative

Don't go in chronological order. Use time skips, or invent a new system for the narrator to arrange their memories and thus, retell the story. This gives the narrator power over the narrative because they've seen the whole thing play out, but the readers are getting bits and pieces, trying to get the puzzle pieces to fall together.

Other options:

POV character has amnesia

POV character has dementia

Using narrative interruptions that are in a completely different style (can work for 3rd person, look at Olivie Blake's work referenced below)

Olivie Black's <Alone With You in the Ether>

Using screenplay-like interruptions to the narrative that limits the reader's access to the characters' minds. Also creates interesting tone.

Kim Youngha's <Diary of the Murderer>

[I don't have pictures for this because I only have the Korean version....but really worth mentioning]

Here, the narrator has dementia and cannot fully remember the murders he has committed in the past. He is also an unreliable narrator who can only remember things in bits and pieces - thus the typical chronological order is interrupted.

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"Non-Human" Perspectives

Give yourself a narrator that is not human, or is "dehumanized" in some way (lack of emotion, inability to relate to others, etc.) to view the entire world from a perspective not often experienced by the average human.

Death as a narrator from <The Book Thief> by Marcus Zusak.

Zusak inserts these little "pronouncements" or "interruptions" to the narrative and the calm but transcending tone constantly raises questions.

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Do note that the overall tone of the novel contributes significantly to how the narrator comes across to the readers. Many of the works above also deal with "reality vs. unreality" as a theme, which is augmented by the use of a mysterious narrator that prompts the reader to challenge

Hope this helps, Happy writing :)

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[heartless-tate]

Hi! If I may be so self indulgent and request something... 👉🏻👈🏻

Reader being a (for lack of better words) boring person. They're good at blending in within social circles but never standing out or having a circle or friend of their own. Good laughing at jokes but can't come up with good ones or even if they did, they don't have the courage to tell them outright. They're very much a chicken when it comes to expressing themselves as an individual because they're never comfortable enough around anyone. They are a chicken in general, to be honest. This essentially (and sadly) leaves them as an NPC in their own life. And they've accepted it, trying to come to terms with a life of extreme mediocrity. They're actively trying to push down any need of wanting more from life 99% of days.

However, when you're good at listening, you observe things much better and you learn things faster. And subconsciously, reader has been observing a lot of things about Velaris (including the IC). I'm not sure where this would lead but this is probably the only real skill they have; being a good observer and learner.

I leave the rest to you. I was thinking pairing them with Azriel (since he would probably understand her better) but I'm open to any modifications.

Also, just an afterthought, I've always wondered what job I would love to have in a fantasy world (and I don't know if this counts as an actual job) but something like observing the sky/stars to look for any forthcoming events sounds really cool. So I guess reader could do that since major events happen don't happen once in a hundred years or something which ultimately makes their job very boring. However, they love it because who wouldn't love spending their whole night star-gazing (potential date idea?? YESS).

Sorry this became way longer than I intended. I wouldn't judge if you chose not to write on it. Thanks & have a great day :)

Am I boring? | Azriel X boring F reader

A/N: Hiii! Tysm for your ask. I hope I captured what you were imagining right. 💖

summary: You’re a star mapper. And you’re boring with no hope of love. Or at least you believed that until Azriel came along.

1.2k words

warnings: no use of y/n, she/her pronouns, cussing??, romance?? That’s it?? I think?

The stars shined brighter tonight. Since you were a little girl, you had always been fascinated by them. How they sparkled. They were interesting, and beautiful- unlike you. Maybe that’s why you clung onto them.

You pulled a piece of parchment from your bag, and started mapping the stars. Rhysand, the highlord of the night court, had invited you to his court to observe and map stars from this  part of the world. You accepted, wanting some change. Even if you knew it wouldn’t be much of a difference to you. The inner circle was more than nice to you, and you appreciated it.

Laughter bubbled from behind you. You currently sat with your telescope on the balcony of the House of Wind. This was your third week here. Rhysand had offered you a permanent place here in the night court, but you were yet to accept. You didn’t fit in. You were a background character. A random star mapper, a job would probably never be much of use to anyone. Except weird star fanatics. Aka you. You were sure he only offered you a place here because of pity.

The inner circle seemed to really like you, and whether that was because of your quiet and shy nature, or the fact you always listened and gave great advice, or the fact you always laughed to try and fit in even if you didn’t quite understand the joke, you didn’t know. The only one who seemed to see past your mask of people pleasing was the Shadowsinger.

Anytime you ‘laughed’ at Cassian’s jokes, he was always there, smirking with a known look at you. As if he knew you. As if he had known you your whole life. Azriel had seemed curious about you. It was uncomfortable. Nobody had ever been curious about you. Everyone always enjoyed someone that they could talk to about themselves for hours. But he was the one always interrupting the other members of the inner circle to question you, on you. And your own life. And sadly you didn’t have many answers other than, “oh I don’t know.”

It made you feel weird at how interested he seemed in you. It made you feel awkward. But you knew he would lose interest once he really discovered there wasn’t actually much to you. You were a bore.

“Those stars are named Arktos, Carynth, and Oristes. They shine above that mountain for a week once a year during the blood rite.” A voice said beside you. You flinched as you noticed Azriel sitting directly by you, his shadows swirling around you both. He was always appearing out of nowhere. He handed you a plate of cake.

“Courtesy of Elain. She baked dessert tonight.” Azriel said, lifting a bite of his cake to his mouth and chewing on it.

“Oh.” You responded, setting the plate down beside you. You quickly labeled the stars on your parchment. They were beautiful.

“Do you like cake?” He questioned.

You paused and stared blank at him.

“I’m not sure?” You responded, fiddling with your hands. “It’s okay, I guess.”

Azriel smiled at you knowingly. Loud laughter boomed from the room behind you two. He looked right at you with piercing amber eyes that seemed annoyed. As if he had noticed you flinching from the loud sounds.

“Come with me? Just trust me.” He whispered, grasping your hand gently with caution. It was sudden. And you weren’t sure. You didn’t know him much. How could you trust him? But something in your body and soul screamed yes. Why not? It was risky- but life was boring.

“Okay.” You responded, gasping as he pulled you close, his wings wrapping you close to him, and his shadows swarming around you both before all of a sudden you were now standing on a cliff. Oh gods. His hands were on your hips gently, his wings spread wide, letting you see the view.

You both stood on a cliff that overlooked a waterfall and river. The moon reflected in the water and the stars did too, creating a mirror effect. It was probably the most gorgeous sight you had ever seen.

“Its- it’s…” Your words fumbled, mouth open in shock. “Beautiful..” you whispered. His breath was hot against your ear.

“Very.” He whispered back. When you looked at him he wasn’t even looking at the view. His eyes were glued on you. And he was looking at you as if you were a goddess. Azriel’s eyes softened, with adoration. It scared you. Nobody had ever looked at you like that. With a blush you realized he was holding you like a lover. He smirked at you as if knowing you just realized it.

Azriel slowly let go and used his wing to guide you to turn around. Blankets and pillows were on the ground. Like a picnic but a nest. His shadows swirled excitedly around the set up. He guided you gently to the set up, helping you sit down before sitting beside you.

“Do you want your mapping materials? My shadows can retrieve them for you. I wasn’t sure if you’d want to just relax and enjoy this night or continue star mapping.” He murmured.

You thought for a second. This was odd. Was this a date? Or did he do this with all of his friends? Did you want to map or did you want to enjoy this night with him?

“No it’s okay.” You replied, eyes glued to the stars above. They were much clearer from this view then from the House of Wind. You guess the city lights blurred them out. But here? They were in their full glory.

“Why did you bring me here?” He seemed to pause before responding. 

“My shadows told me you might be leaving soon. This is my attempt at convincing you to stay here. In the night court. With your mate.” Azriel confessed.

He watched your eyebrows furrow.

“Mate? I don’t have a mate-“ you panicked.

His wings cocooned you and his arm enveloped you. It was like he could sense your panic. He rocked you back and forth like a child. And it was comforting.

“I’m your mate. I’ve known since I’ve met you. I thought I would have more time to get to know you and the bond would snap for you, but then my shadows informed me of your soon departure.”

You swallowed, throat bobbing. You blinked a few times. “There isn’t anything about me to get to know.” You replied harshly. Azriel’s eyebrows furrowed with concern. Shadows swirled around you both, some tendrils caressing you.

“Don’t say that. I know it isn’t true. Everyday I learn something new about you. I don’t care what you say, you are the most interesting person I’ve ever met.” He said, words much louder and firmer now. He thinks you’re interesting?

“Stay. Stay with me. Let me get to know you. I don’t expect you to accept the bond anytime soon. But give me- give us a chance.” Azriel said, wings tightening around you both. His eyes bore into you, with a fierce and loving look in them. You couldn’t help but soften in his hold.

You realized then, you deserved love. And for once a belonging feeling overwhelmed your senses.

“I’ll stay.”

Hope you guys enjoyed 💗

[colourstreakgryffin]

May I request a Choso!Reader with Alastor and Rosie (separated) if you write for her too, I think I would be adorable to see how the dynamic would work.

Hehe! Aww! I’d love to write for Rosie. Alastor and Rosie, they are cute. Very cute! I suppose I can try this but I am not sure what could come out of it! I do like Choso as well so let’s go! Rosie is personally my favourite female character in Hazbin! Sorry. This was SOOO hard to write for!

Alastor

You’re a quiet and mellow person, kinda just fading in the background, overshadowed by the much more interesting people. By whilst your personality isn’t winning any rewards, your powers, your skills and your loyalty to your brothers are

Alastor finds your power incredible. Blood manipulation, producing beams of blood that can cut limbs off. He likes a fighter capable of mass destruction and he is already interested in you when he sees you with your little villain group just reluctantly fighting

Alastor does try to befriend you but it’s kinda hard. You’re bored and uninterested. The only way you’ll pay attention is when somebody is proven to you and trust me, Alastor proves himself and afterwards, you’re being protective over him

Working with him and even calling him your ‘little brother’. Whilst it took a bit to develop your likeness towards the Radio Demon, it’s quite strong now and you enjoy spending time with him. Listening to him silently and giving out both straightforward yet wise advice, based on your many years of experience

“My dear. Want to play some chess with me? If you do, please don’t break the pieces again”

Rosie

Rosie wasn’t suspecting to ever meet somebody like you. A mellow, controlled and yet very caring and powerful sinner with the ability to manipulate and attack with their own blood in such a violent way. You’re definitely a unique one and she can’t help but keep her nonexistent eyes on you. She wonders what you’re like behind that image

As suspected, it’s quite hard to get you to like her or even look at her. You just stick around this ‘villain’ group and only ever show interest when she proves herself to you as a good ally. Then, when that happens, you switch from that group to the Cannibal District, overwatching Rosie and following her around like a bodyguard. With your power, you should be her bodyguard

You know Rosie loves the fact you’re the oldest sibling of around nine other siblings. She likes cute families and she commends that but as well, she’s insanely shocked when you begin to call her your ‘little sister’ and be brutally protective over her. She is an Overlord, whilst not a magically powerful one, but an Overlord and you’re protecting her?!

Rosie doesn’t mind you being so quiet and almost bored. It’s much better than people being so loud, you two can just enjoy tea and sweets together without much words needed. Instead, she can just speak to you and you can give off as much wisdom and advice as you can to try help make her a better ruler

“Oh? Darling… what’s wrong? You’re crying… you’re crying over the people? Why?”

[cripplecharacters]

Hey this ask might be a bit vague but I wanted some input on a character of mine who has a facial difference due to a tragic accident which I’m aware is a trope in media that is commonly used very badly. The characters facial difference is not whatsoever the centre of the tragedy and it is treated as a simple inevitably due to the extreme nature of the accident. He is also not the only character w/ a facial difference and the other characters treat it as a completely normal thing. I’m hoping that within the context of the story the character doesn’t appear as a bad trope but I’m also not the right person to make that judgment so I was wondering what your thoughts would be on how I could improve the character if I am in fact falling into the trope trap. Essentially, is my character too much of a trope?

Hey!

Based on what's included in this ask, I'd say it's not a problem. I'm personally tired of the ever-present tragedy associated with facial differences in every imaginable context, but I can't say that they aren't ever caused by events that could be considered tragic or traumatic - some of them very much are; the problem lies in the oversaturation of it when compared to other reasons people get facial differences which are more common in real life.

You're doing a lot of things right with not having him be the only character with a facial difference. People with FDs are diverse by definition, so I'm glad to actually see that shown. If there is another character that has a progressive or congenital facial difference that is just a part of them then you're basically already getting that trope away from your writing. "All visibly disabled people get their disability from [most traumatic scenario ever]" is a boring trope, "some disabled people get their disability from a traumatic event that they might consider tragic" is literally just real life.

Another thing I had mentioned before is to show the mundane things of whatever injury the character gets. Whether that'd be (e.g.) physical therapy, trying out different pain medications, dealing with actual symptoms of PTSD, having to buy a shower chair that actually fits in their bathroom, or just simply taking their time to learn how to function with their new ability level - all these things ground the experience as something that's actually real and not just a plot point for angst.

However, the best piece of advice I can give is to consult a sensitivity reader who has personal experience with this kind of facial difference. This is the most accurate and sure way to figure out if your character needs to be tweaked a bit or if what you already do is fine. Try to talk to people with a similar kind of experience to your character or read what they have written about it (which will inevitably restrict you to people willing to talk about it, but there's not much you can do). As always I recommend Face Equality International (the website) and SBSK (the youtube channel). If your character is a burn survivor I'd also recommend Phoenix Society (also website).

It is much, much harder to do a trope when you actually know people from the group the stereotype affects - not impossible, but harder. Seeing Hollywood Trope XYZ feels ridiculous when you're aware of how people that it's based on actually are, while allowing you to pick up the bits of truth that can be there. Most people don't recognize that the burn survivor character is evil for the millionth time because they don't know any burn survivors and don't have the knowledge to make this observation from. But when you do listen, a lot of the tropes out there will be jarring because they are just inaccurate. And with this you can basically check yourself - does the XYZ I worry about in this character make sense in his situation, or should it be toned down or changed a bit? - and if it feels wrong when compared to what you hear, it might be time to switch things up. When in doubt or if you want to be very sure, consult someone with the relevant knowledge and give them the necessary context around what worries you. Based on the info in this ask everything here seems completely fine, but context and fine details can matter in determining if something ultimately works or not.

Sorry for the long reply but I hope this helps,

mod Sasza

[lovely-keii]

being their sibling

characters: tsukishima kei, oikawa tooru, suna rintarou

a/n: i write a fic every time i rewatch hq LOL sorry ik i said im abandoning this blog buuuut…happy bday to this blog!! (repost from 1/5 because tags broke :(( )

part 1

TSUKISHIMA KEI

looks out for you, but he can’t help that hes so emotionally constipated :’( he tries to give you advice because he genuinely is concerned for you but just is unable to word anything properly. see: “you need to stop talking to that person, you’re being a pushover,” but he just wants you to realize you’re letting people walk all over you.

god forbid he has to comfort you because hes the wrong brother for that - you’re definitely in better hands with akiteru. he might walk in on you crying and contemplate if he’ll even say anything or just ignore it flat out, or he’ll say something like “don’t cry, you look stupid.” if you cry more, he’ll end up swallowing his pride and sitting next to you. he’ll groan and reluctantly, “fine, spill it.”

other than that, he’s going to be a sneaky little prick. definitely the type to take revenge on you if you annoy him. you eat the last piece of chocolate he was saving and suddenly you find your charger hidden deep under your bed. also loves to take things without your permission. “why? i’m just using it, it’s not like you need it now.”

if someone picks a fight with you, he’ll be quick to extract you from the situation before saying something ruder and harsher than usual to the person. and if you tell him you like someone from his team, he’s going to look at you like you’re crazy. “are you insane?!” he’s honestly more bewildered than upset. doesn’t let you anywhere near the gym. he can make an exception for yamaguchi though. “at least it’s not hinata…or worse, kageyama.”

OIKAWA TOORU

your life is never boring with this guy as your brother. you’re literally being dragged everywhere, practices, shopping, team events… you’re like “i’m not even part of the team.” he goes “we can fix that!” and the next day you find out that you’re the manager for the boys’ volleyball team. huh, wonder how that happened.

oh my god, he MILKS you being his manager. “hold my drink, my fans are calling.” “y/n get my towel please.” you’re absolutely seething at the power trip that this guy is on. eventually, you start doing all that for his other team members and not for him, and he gets so whiney. “y/n you’ll get big ugly iwaizumi a towel but not your own sweet brother?!” that earns him a spike to the head from iwaizumi.

he tells you all the gossip about the school, because believe me, he knows A LOT of things. he’ll do his skin care while he forces you to listen to his gossip, cue him getting mad if you try to leave. everyone realizes why you two are siblings when you two walk down the halls and pull the exact same faces at the people he’s told you about in his gossip.

he makes you his little scapegoat for his fangirls. “oh, you want my number? you’ll have to ask y/n for that, they keep my phone with them during practice!” (you dont) “now, why don’t you girls hand all these gifts to my lovely sibling for me?” (you almost immediately chuck them at his face when you see him) but you know the best way to get back at him? when he sees you even slightly conversing with ushijima or kageyama, all hell breaks loose.

SUNA RINTAROU

the devil if the devil was your brother. he takes the ugliest pictures of you, when you’re asleep, when you’re yelling, when you’re crying over a movie. he also loves to send you pictures of animals and send a “look at you in this picture, so cute”. he also takes your things without asking and never returns it, you’ll just find it in his bag one day.

he also is one to order you around, and it drives you mad. “pass me the remote, y/n.” “but it’s nearer to you.” “i’ll tell mom that you-” // “y/n get me a drink from the vending machine.” “why would i do that” “remember when you snuck out and i-” // “get my bag too when you get yours.” “no.” “what i post that one picture of you when you’re about to sneeze-”

but he’s always looking out for you. when creeps try to approach you, he’s quick to react by shooting them a nasty glare. he’s a silent kind of care. standing behind you on elevators, walking on the outer side of the sidewalk, staying up late til you come home and just telling you he just couldnt sleep. little do you know, it’s something he’s always done even as a kid. putting more food on your lunch box, holding the corner of tables when you pick something up so you don’t hit your head, returning your things that are sprawled around the house to your room so you don’t lose them.

and if he ever finds you crying over some guy, he sighs and sits down next to you. “why’re you crying over an idiot?” he then makes snappy insults at the expense of the guy, making you laugh. “see? you look better like that. now stop crying and let me get some sleep.” he closes the light and shuts the door on his way out.

[bharv]

Show don’t tell has got to be one of the most misinterpreted pieces of writing advice in existence and has led to so much unnecessarily action led work when really it’s about letting the person reading or watching or playing engage and discover and not just indicating something to them.

You CAN have somebody tell their own story. But why are they saying it? What are they leaving out of the retelling? How are they in themselves as they say it? That’s showing us another layer.

You can have somebody doing the most incredible bit of a fight scene but if that doesn’t feel embodied in what we learn about a character, it will be boring. Show us who they are in how they parry, where they hold weight, whether they are quick to respond or more strategic. Don’t just tell us they are a fighter by putting them in a situation with no meaning behind it.

[ceilidho]

Do you have any advice for a novice writer who can’t for the life of them figure out how to begin a story and/or scene? I’ve been slowly working on a novel in my free time for the last couple of years, and I feel like I have a decently solid plot and outline, but every time I go to start the actual process of putting words on paper I always get stuck. I’ve gone back and read the first few pages/chapters of other fantasy books to see how published authors do it, but I can never seem to find the right words or starting point that feels authentic and fitting to my own work. It always feels so clunky and out of place, and although I try to follow the ‘rule’ of starting the story in the middle of the action/a moment of change so that it doesn’t feel boring, nothing I come up with seems to help things flow into the beginning of the plot :/

ugh that's hard because actually forcing yourself to write is truly the hardest part. a lot of it is just nerves. like genuinely you're just experiencing stage fright.

that's why i love using tumblr as a micro-writing platform. when i make stupid little posts here, it feels low effort and i don't attach any anxiety to it, and actually that helps a lot when later on i take bits and pieces of stuff i've written here and add it to larger works (if you were following me when I was actively writing "landscape with honey" or "superstore" you'll remember i took a lot of asks that i'd already answered and just shoved them into the fic).

i highly recommend making a word cloud or vocabulary list for yourself if you're trying to cultivate a specific atmosphere as well. i have one on my phone for random words that i want to use.

then i think it might be helpful for you to try and break it down piece by piece. like if you have a scene where a character is packing a suitcase in order to catch a train, just focus on the first part where they're packing their belongings. there isn't a 'right' way to start a story or write something, so don't beat yourself up because the paragraph/sentence doesn't match perfectly what's in your head. the first draft is always going to be rough as well.

try to think of it like when an artist starts a piece. usually they start with simple shapes that they slowly add on to. you can think of your first draft kind of like this:

(image source)

[alexanderwales]

I finished the rest of Save the Cat almost in a single sitting, not because it was particularly riveting, but because I had time to kill, so this pseudo-liveblog is at an end.

Chapter 6 and 7 are basically the same, collections of small tricks and tips. Neither of them are terribly helpful, and all the tricks have terrible shorthand names like "Pope in a Pool". There's very little in the way of any thematic cohesion to these bits of advice, and no grand theory of the Laws of Storytelling emerges, in spite of the laws being invoked a number of times.

The advice itself is, I think, generally good:

give the reader something to root for early on to kickstart investment

spice up exposition with something entertaining

only one kind of magic per plot

don't tell a story that requires too much setup

don't tell a story with too many moving parts

include a ticking clock

have character arcs

keep the scope limited to the characters we care about

make the hero proactive

show, don't tell

make the bad guy very bad

the plot should go faster the further in it goes

use the whole spectrum of emotion

make sure each character has a distinct voice

make sure desires are "primal"

give characters something that makes them stand out

I don't endorse this whole list, and I especially don't endorse the way that Blake Snyder talks about them or the examples that he gives. And if I endorsed the list, then I would include a lot of caveats, and some general principles of storytelling that should be followed, rather than these specific pieces of advice, which are all conditional. Like ... okay, here's an example:

Exposition is a broccoli that the audience doesn't want to eat. There are very different ways of dealing with this, but we can start with "minimize exposition" as the first "law" of storytelling, and from there, we have different strategies:

Spruce up the exposition, making it into a mini-story, delivered in an entertaining way, so that people aren't bored.

Run something alongside the exposition so that people aren't bored, like sight gags in a comedy or an action scene in a thriller.

Have the exposition delivered through implication and clues, rather than stated outright, like having a character limp rather than explaining to the audience that they were wounded in the war. This is show, don't tell, and it's harder than it seems.

But while Snyder lays out some of this advice, it's all in different sections even though it's dealing with the same fundamental problem, and I'm not sure that he really understands that. If he does understand it, then he's not making that clear for the reader.

My thesis is that to understand storytelling, you want to understand root issues and classes of solutions. I have not written a book on writing, nor do I think there's a market for that, nor do I think I'm qualified, but it's the kind of thing that I would strive to deliver. There are a lot of writing problems that are parallel to each other, and there are a lot of structural elements that are mirrors of each other, so why not try to put it all together that way?

But Snyder makes basically no attempt to put even very related problems together, it's just little bits of advice to gnaw at the most common problems, and ... maybe that's fine, but it felt lazy to me.

Chapter 8 was the final chapter, and was mostly about trying to sell screenplays. This was irrelevant to me, but kind of interesting, and also made me feel like Blake Snyder is a better marketer and salesman than a screenwriter, and also maybe just got lucky to be working at a time when scripts were getting huge bidding wars for no good reason. The efficient market hypothesis gets clowned on again, I guess.

I'll probably write up some overall thoughts, a short review: I think I am unsuited to liveblogging because I go long. But the even shorter version is that I think I picked up a few things that were interesting to think about, and while Blake Snyder is a hack, he's an entertaining writer.

[copperbadge]

Immediate Writer's Block

Had a comment on another post where I thought I'd probably need more space than the notes in which to respond, so:

constant-state-of-self-discovery Oh I get the envy I feel it right now how the fuck do you manage to write without impassable writers block after 5-9 sentences because I haven't fucking figured it out lol

I do have some advice on this!

I think most writers get blocked from time to time, it's normal and my general strategy is just to wait it out, but if you're frequently blocked after only writing a very little bit, I think the problem is one of two things: either you don't know what you want to achieve with the scene you're writing, or you don't know what should happen next within the scene to achieve that goal. If you frame "I'm blocked" as "I don't have an answer I need" then often you move from just sitting there, sweating and staring at a blank page, to thinking productively about how you're going to get where you're going. It's the difference between not knowing an answer and not knowing an answer but knowing where to look for it.

An invaluable piece of advice for this, which I think I picked up from someone who got it off a National Novel Writing Month messageboard, is "When in doubt, ninjas attack." It's not meant to be literal, you don't need to have ninjas or fight scenes just because you don't know what to do, but it helps to get the creativity flowing again. If you don't know what should happen next, or you know but you're having trouble actually writing the scene, it can be very helpful to induce a moment of uncertainty or surprise -- to have a metaphorical ninja attack. One time I did this literally -- the POV character was just on the road somewhere and I didn't know how to get them from a pastoral country road to their actual destination in an interesting way, so I had them get attacked by highway bandits and have to fight them off, which also allowed me to demonstrate that the character had significant unarmed combat skills. But it can also just be like, two characters who are having a boring conversation can be interrupted by a third person, even just a stranger asking for directions, or there can be, IDK, an explosion, or something goes missing, or etc.

Sometimes it also helps to leave it alone but keep it in your mind and go do something else -- listen to a podcast, take a walk, read a book, not because those things are distracting but because all our inputs eventually feed into our brain and come out as reactions. If you're thinking about your book while you're wandering around a park, something you see in the park might have an impact on it. If you've got YOUR story in mind while reading someone else's, you might be more inclined to look at what they're saying and see what you think of it, how it might play into your work.

And honestly, sometimes you just gotta go past it. I'm working on the next Shivadh novel right now and it opens basically with Simon the chef getting into a spat with his love-interest-to-be over some cheese. He want the cheese, she won't sell him the cheese, so they get off to a very contentious start. But I suck at writing conflict especially when it's basically "A character I like is being pompous and another character I want people to find likable is being stubborn and somewhat unpleasant". I've been stalled on it for a while. But I know where the scene ends up, like I do know what the goal is, so I just...skipped it and went on to writing a scene I like better, where they meet a second time and actually discover each others' identity and that they're about to be forced into the grownup equivalent of a school project. Once I've gotten dug deeper into the story I'll come back and write it, and by then I'll have the benefit of knowing the love interest a bit better.

So yeah -- I think a lot of breaking a writer's block, especially when you don't need rest but are just stumped about what to do, is to twist and look at it from another angle. It's not that you don't know what to write, or don't want to write what you know you have to -- it's that you don't have the correct answer to a question, or you need to leave that part alone to ferment and come back to it later. At least, for me.

[unboundprompts]

can you do prompts for characters having to spend time in a plane together, please?

Plane Prompts

-> feel free to edit and adjust pronouns as you see fit.

“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of flying?” He asked jokingly, watching as her leg bounced nervously. “Not afraid of flying, no,” she answered. “I’m afraid of crashing.”

“Are you as excited for this trip as I am?” She asked, practically buzzing with excitement. “We’ve only been planning it for the past four years,” they laughed, looking out the window of the plane.

“I will fist fight you for the window seat,” they said seriously. “Don’t think I won’t.”

“I’m bored,” he groaned, slumping back in his seat as best he could. “And I’m uncomfortable.” She sighed, glancing at him as he pouted. “Well, I’m not. So be quiet.”

“I can see my house from here!” He exclaimed, pointing out of the window of the plane. “You dumbass,” they snickered, “we’re flying over an entirely different country.”

“I spy with my little eye, something grey.” “If it’s something stupid like a piece of lint on the floor I’m going to quit.” “Let me change my answer.”

“Does the turbulence not scare you?” He asked, hands gripping the arm rests. She just shrugged. “If it’s my time to go, then it’s my time to go.”

If you like what I do and want to support me, please consider buying me a coffee! I also offer editing services and other writing advice on my Ko-fi! Become a member to receive exclusive content, early access, and prioritized writing prompt requests.

[ivyblossom]

I have been watching a tv show based on a set of books about a woman who goes back in time to 18th century Scotland and lives there for a while and has lots of sex (which she's very good at, btw, the text really wants to make sure I know that, she's SUPER good at sex), I'm sure you know the one I mean.

And my question is: is this writer whose name I am deliberately not typing into this post a narcissist? Because what is even going on with this story?

I realize I'm watching the tv show and not reading the books and surely that's different, but the whole universe of this story is warped around this woman and how amazing she is, and it just stinks of a personality disorder. It's not just that she's good at stuff or important in her own story, it's that everyone she meets is obsessed with her and follows the details of her life and thinks about her all the time, she is so important to everyone, no one else really has a life that doesn't have her as a focus. The belief that total strangers would take this much of an interest in your just smacks of narcissism to me.

And every damn character has a scene with her at some point where they're like, "Yes, I tried to fight you/hated you/wronged you, but it turns out, you were totally right the whole time and I trust you completely now and love you and you were the best thing that's ever happened to me, I die now." This main character would be sorted into Sparklypoo.

Everyone is super hot for her, everyone wants her advice, even her daughter is like, "omg you should totally abandon me now that I'm just barely a legal adult, you need to be with your hot Scottish man! Sure, the man I knew as much father recently died and you leaving would leave me 100% alone in the world, but WHO CARES? Go back in time to be with historical dude!" I...yike.

Then there's the guy who's like, yey, my dad just died, we are currently at his funeral, but you know what's really interesting? This woman and her daughter and their whole life story! I am really here just to serve their needs, I was getting bored at this funeral for my beloved father figure anyway, let's go focus on YOU, ladies!

It feels like the author has very strongly identified with her main character and everyone else are just functions to serve her. I know how fiction works, I know all characters are technically functions in service to the story, but I feel like a writer really shows their whole ass when they see other people as just sort of appendages that exist to support their self-insert character, with no inner worlds of their own. (Plotting against the main character is not an inner world of their own, no it is not!)

This story has all these weird conversations where people are making choices that make zero sense from their perspective, but they are great and meaningful from her main character's perspective, and that's all that matters, they just admire and respect that main character so so much that they will ignore their own will and their own life experiences and knowledge in favour of whatever she thinks and feels, and we're supposed to take this as normal or good somehow?

So...I have to ask. Has anyone met this writer? Is she a piece of shit? Is she actually a super nice lady? I just feel like you cannot be a super nice lady and write a story like this.

[fictionstudent]

How to pull off "show not tell"

“Show, not tell” is a common advice that both emerging and emerged writers (lol) hear quite often. But most of us don’t really understand what it completely means, until really later.

Personally, I took the advice by heart. But I had the definition wrong. I thought the advice meant that you don’t write “he was angry” but rather “he frowned”, “he glared” or something like that. And it’s kinda right. But kinda. And you can really mess it up when you only half-know what it means—believe me, my first couple of novels were a mess.

So, you might ask what “show, not tell” even means—what it actually means. And I’m here to tell you everything I know about it.

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What is “show, not tell”

Well, it’s actually a quite recent writing tool in the industry. I don’t really know how and where the term originated—and I’m too lazy to actually Google it—so I won’t get to that.

I’ve heard and read about this term a lot—right from the time I’ve begun writing. It’s quite famous. In fact, it’s a prerequisite these days. Many beginning writers would have heard this criticism that their prose doesn’t really show, it just tells. It’s filled with telling. You should show, not tell.

So, what does this “show, not tell” even mean? The advice is quite self-explanatory, you see. It’s when you show your characters doing or feeling something rather than just telling your readers what happened. So, on one aspect, it refrains you from narrating your story.

And by narrating your story, I mean the parts where the characters are not moving in real-time, but the writer is narrating what had happened. For example,

And we crossed the seas. The journey wasn’t long, but those days we had nothing to do. We were bored the heck out of our brains. Those days felt like an eternity. Until today, when we finally found what we were looking for—a piece of land in the middle of the Pacific. The Hirohoto Islands.

You don’t do this. It’s okay when a character is telling the story to another character. But a narrator should refrain from doing this.

According to this advice, you actually show scenes of the journey—maybe show that the MC was fiddling with stuff all day long, people were drinking booze or something day and night, and some just stared into the blue oceans day in and day out, until this one guy saw a green dot far away. In fact, whatever I just said can be used quite literally, if you don’t wanna go into the details of the scenes. Yeah, you can even go into more details and maybe write a little chapter filled with such scenes.

But, well, as you could have guessed, it’s on a macro-level. The advice can also be used on a micro-level.

For example, you don’t write,

I was angry at Sara. But she didn’t care.

Instead, you write,

I wanted to kill Sara on the spot. I wanted to choke her, I wanted to stab a knife in her chest. But Sara—the damn audacity! She just stood there, simply staring at me like nothing happened just now, like she never said anything to rage me up like this. She didn’t care about me, did she? She never cared.

The second one is filled with anger. And the dejection that the narrator feels, knowing that Sara doesn’t care about him anyway.

On micro-level, there are two actually two ways to imply this advice. And this is something that I had to figure out on my own—no one told me that there were two ways to do this, no article mentions this.

One way is to use visuals, the other monologues.

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Visuals

Let me explain. When you see the movie, you don’t witness the inner monologues or thoughts of your narrators. You just experience the way the actors act—the way their gazes shift, their body movement changes, and all that. That’s using visuals. For example, read this scene where the character is just betrayed,

Her fists clenched hard. Her arms were trembling. And her eyes… They tried hard to fight back those tears. But the dam could break any moment now.

You get the feeling that the character was betrayed in some way, and that she was both angry and dejected at the situation. She wanted to cry. She wanted to punch.

But I never wrote,

She was so angry at them. She wanted to cry, but she controlled herself.

The second one doesn’t give us the same form of feeling as the first one. The first one obviously reads better, and everyone would prefer that.

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Monologues

This is something that’s unique to the art of prose. It’s only in prose that you can witness the inner monologues of the characters, and use them to tell a story. Films, comics, and other visual media don’t do this.

And yes, that’s what I mean when I say monologues. Use these monologues to show what the characters feel, and how they react.

For example, let’s take the previous example where the character has just been betrayed,

She couldn’t believe this. Was this for real? Was this… really happening? Really?

How could someone do something like this? And… And to her? What had she done to be betrayed like this?

Again, you hear what the characters are feeling. You understand their tone. And you emphasize with them this way.

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Visuals or Monologues - How to choose

Now, you might be wondering that if you can use the “show, not tell” in two ways, how do you choose which one to use and which one not, especially in a particular scene?

Well, for that, read the two examples above again—the ones about the betrayed character. Take about a minute to scroll up, c’mon.

You’d understand that on a subconscious level, there’s something oddly different between the two. It’s as if none of the two really give a complete picture of the scene. You get one aspect from the visuals, one from the monologue. But you don’t really get that the character is actually betrayed until I tell you that before you read the examples.

That’s the problem with using one over the other—you often miss out something or the other. In some scenes, maybe where you use stronger action verbs, the visuals might be enough, while in some scenes, visuals won’t really matter, but rather, the monologue will.

But in most scenes, you’d need to mix the two types. Read this,

She couldn’t believe this. Was this for real? Was this… really happening? Really?

Her fists clenched hard. Her arms were trembling. And her eyes… They tried hard to fight back those tears. But the dam could break any moment now.

How could someone do something like this? And… And to her? What had she done to be betrayed like this?

I simply mixed the two—both visuals and monologues. And now, the prose tells the whole story. It can stand on its own, without me telling the context. It feels complete.

See, visuals and monologues are not two ways to “show, not tell” technique, but rather, are two tools that complement each other. Yeah, you can always use one instead of both, but you don’t need to choose one over the other—choose both. Or rather, choose none, if you think that helps the scene better.

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A common mistake to avoid

Some writers often make this mistake that you should try avoiding. This mistake is really hard to notice, sometimes, but with practice, maybe you can learn how to solve it.

And that mistake is that you often show and tell. For example,

She was angry. She glared at him, her fists clenched hard, like she’d just punch him in the face and get this crap done with.

It’s two sentences. Notice this—the first sentence clearly tells you that the character is angry. And then the second one shows it.

This way, you’re repeating the action twice. The reader would make one mental image in their head when they read the first sentence, and then you make it up for them, in which case, they’d need to adjust that image. That’s not how you make your prose flow.

Never repeat action. An action that happens once in the prose should be mentioned once. The later sentences can expand on it, but not mention the action again. Repeating actions happen a lot in “show, not tell”, and sometimes, it’s not so easy to point it out.

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Solution

I’ve recently got a hold on this “show, not tell” advice too, to be honest. And as someone who’s recently cleared its basics, I’d admit it—it’s tough to just go and start implementing it.

Therefore, in my current WIP—in which I’m really making sure I follow this rule—I’ve developed a technique that might work for you too, for someone who’s just started out.

Don’t care about this rule in the first draft. You can tell as much as you want in your first draft—go for it. In fact, that’s what I’ve been doing currently too.

But when you’re done with the draft, mark all the places where you think you’ve told and not shown, and then when you’re writing the second draft, just replace all the telling parts with the showing parts. Simply replace them all, and rewrite.

It’s that simple, really.

Even if you’re far into your project and now feel you’ve not really stuck with the advice and messed up, don’t scrap the whole project. I’ve always scrapped projects because sometimes I felt I messed up quite hard, and that’s why I’d advise you not to. In your case, simply go for a re-read, mark the ­telling phrases, and re-write them. You’re done.

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Conclusion

I hope this article will help you guys. I also wanted to talk about why you should follow this advice of “show, not tell”, why the readers today love it, and when to actually break this rule to tell stuff to the readers. But I thought that it’d deviate this article too much, so I stuck to the basics. I might talk about the other stuff in some other article.

Anyway, see you around!