#pickle adjacent
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There's not much I need to say to add to the message in this VERY wordy strip, so I'll instead confirm that YES... the format is a parody of Last Week Tonight with John Oliver.
#pickles#pickle#last week tonight#john oliver#special message#comic strip#earings#shampoo#pickle adjacent
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sweats…. could u draw balloon x pickle
#frank does requests#of course im gonna make pickle sea cucumber adjacent#inanimate insanity#pickloon#balloon x pickle#balloon ii#pickle ii#osc#calposa
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princess
#disasterpiece.png#true detective#s1 e5#s1 e6#the secret fate of all life#haunted houses#rust cohle#wife tag#world's most princess girl of all time. 2002 rust is like a wife to me#do not come at me talking about her hair by the way it's perfect. it's ugly. it gets mussed after she fucks. it's castration metaphor.#it's rust getting cut down to size so he can fit into something adjacent to normalcy. it's rust having his edges softened so he can be in a#(most likely loveless) relationship. it's him wanting to say no... being forced to say yes... if her life was the leather tanning process#this would be the bating or pickling. that haircut is so painfully average. my sweet princess. something about her is so sun-dried.#there is an animal trying to get OUT. all this over some hair. but still. i am right.#it's like when dogs are sheared in certain places to have surgery done on them#i wonder what they took out of her
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sorry. I just saw another video with some guy being "hurr durr Japanese has two syllabaries plus kanji so why don't they just ditch kanji and one of the syllabaries and start putting spaces between the words" idk man why does English retain spelling patterns from a bajillion different languages instead of reforming spelling so that everything looks the way it sounds. that stuff fossilizes language history that no one's thinking about otherwise, it's really hard to convince a whole country or multiple countries full of literate people to change everything about the way they read and write, and, yeah, it does carry semantic value that you're underestimating the importance of as well. shut up. I don't ever want to hear about this again
#pickle pontificates#sorry. if your platform is even slightly educational/fun fact adjacent I don't ever want to hear this again about any language ever#like if you're learning and frustrated that's one thing but if you're trying to convey info don't do it through the lens of#''isn't this weird and stupid''#no. no it isn't. not to an extent that any other language isn't at least#not like I think japanese is in any particular danger because of these dudes the rhetoric just sucks#and you see people applying it to languages/cultures that ARE undervalued too *cough*welsh*cough*#language#gonna clarify more now that it's not 4AM while I'm trying to get ready for an appointment:#this guy wasn't the worst version of this take I've ever seen#like he was sorta half joking#the issue is that a lot of people tend to look at complexities in language from the perspective of a learner and say ''that's not logical''#''that's hard. why would they do it like that''#and the answer is ALWAYS because language was not crafted in a laboratory for maximum semantic efficiency#it's cobbled together out of history and blood and violence and love and emotion and a desire be understood#billions of people making tiny contributions over thousands of years#it's a living shifting beast and millions are actively redirecting its flow every second#of COURSE it's not perfectly logical#but if you can just look at those seeming inconsistencies for more than a second and consider where they came from#slowly it becomes more and more logical#you realize that you're not tracing a simple mathematical equivalency where x=y#you're picking up a story thousands of years in and it's full of references to previous plot points
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I kinda realized something rather harshly. PB is often woobified by the fandom (this is rather obvious but hear me out). He is typically seen and perceived as this kind genuine and generous person. Because he is….. to Bojack
This is not bobutter propaganda I swear, hear me out
It is a well observed phenomenon in this fandom (as well as in many other fandoms with morally complex and nuanced main characters) that the viewer can often be swayed by the perspective of the main character. As a simple example, the amount of Bojack viewers that sympathize with his actions simply due to the fact that you see how he may be led to commit certain acts is staggering.
And yeah, from Bojack’s perspective Peanutbutter is kind, generous, and caring, because that’s how he always treats Bojack. Constantly scrabbling for opportunities to spend one on one time with Bojack, willing to drop everything at any moment if he needs help, forgiving him when he had no right to be forgiven. Giving up his space, money, and privacy the moment Bojack is in need of a place to stay. Putting his reputation at stake by continuing to associate with Bojack after the public turned on him. Bojack is treated with kindness, patience, and forgiveness in nearly every interaction.
And yeah, if this is how he treated EVERYONE, that reputation he has of being a total sweetheart would be fully justified, but looking beyond Bojack it becomes shockingly obvious that this is NOT the case.
Diane is an easy example, because the seeds that led to their divorce had been sewn throughout the run of the series. Peanutbutter REGULARLY ignores Diane’s needs and perspective, favouring his own ambitions over hers. I saw a post going around about hank after dark (I genuinely can’t find it again or remember who posted it i’m so sorry) but it was about Peanutbutter essentially telling Diane to go to Cordovia to do her own work AWAY from where she could possibly risk his new game show.
This is just the tip of the iceberg but it really shows that he prioritizes his own whims and his own little bubble of hyperfixation over the needs of his wife. He’s usually completely blissfully unaware that she’s often uncomfortable in her own home when it’s full of a film crew, or campaigners, or whatever the hell else he’s latched himself onto. Yes she doesn’t often express this, but to a neurotypical person this would be more obvious by simple observation (peanutbutter is NOT nt, clearly, so he’s less at fault but it doesn’t change the affect), but peanutbutter is so lost in his own whims and excitement that he doesn’t recognize the people around him (AND he tends to get defensive whenever someone tries to bring him back to reality). At least until his divorce with Diane snapped him back to reality.
Also i’m gonna talk about Pickles real quick. I love her, honestly. A lot of people don’t like her but she exists to essentially act as the culmination of all peanutbutter’s problems, and she does that perfectly (also she’s cute, sue me). Yeah, the issue with peanutbutter’s maturity is obvious to the point where Diane calls it out directly. Peanutbutter dates all of these younger girls simply because he WANTS to. He doesn’t care about the affect it may have on the course of these people’s life. He knows it’s wrong, hell Pickles’ age makes him actively uncomfortable whenever it’s pointed out. But he dates her anyways, because he chases whatever makes him happy no matter how selfish.
Yeah, him being bright and optimistic is fun and cute and you could never IMAGINE a man like that doing you wrong, but that mindset lacks real world practicality and sustainability which would in the end lead to the divorce.
Anyways! I digress. Peanutbutter treats Bojack VASTLY different from any of his partners, which is just fascinating to me. He can completely ignore and dismiss Diane’s discomfort with having their house full of crew people, but Bojack appears on his doorstep drunk and distressed and Peanutbutter immediately sends EVERYONE home and gives Bojack his full unwavering support and attention
This ended up kinda tangent-y but I think I made at least some sort of point somewhere in there. I just had thoughts I wanted to get out
#mr peanutbutter#bojack horseman#bobutter#well it’s more bobutter adjacent#I love pickles aplenty#sue me
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Could yu make a trans rights slappy pweeease? 🥺👉👈
okie chief
You know if you really want, he could do your surgeries for you for free (he takes your left kidney as a souvenir)
He doesn't have any medical credentials but he does have a background in mortuary work. That's close right?
#He can be trusted with your organs I swear now get on the table#He'll give ur unwanted body parts back to you pickled in a jar as a gift#He's very hospitable <3#This reminds me of soap kaars art with the medical malpractice gang (lorre characters who happen to be doctors)#There's an ask related that I think you'd find amusing#That is if you're interested in lorre adjacent things#But ur asking about slappy so probably#Slappy laszlo#Peter lorre fish#Slappy spongebob#Laszlo spongebob#Ask#The spongebob connoisseur
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hmm so actually it's kinda hard to stop
#realistically the 'no pickles' sketch is the one most likely to end up getting colored bc meme adjacency#wip
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When I was a child I loved pickles. Not a normal amount. I loved pickles so much that my mother had to institute a pickle limit. I have no idea how many pickles it takes to make a very absentee parent set a pickle limit but as I was a child of excess let’s assume I craved an unholy bacchanal of pure pickle madness.
After the Pickle Rationing began I was like a poor wartime child deprived of sweets but the sweets were pickles. I’d piteously beg for more than my daily allotment and when the regime of two pickles a day stayed firmly in place I began to develop a system. A pickle system.
I couldn’t get more pickles. But I could draw out the pickle eating experience to hitherto unknown lengths to wring as much joy from each one as possible. The first pickle I ate in a fairly reasonable manner, if more slowly then a regular pickle experience. The second pickle though. The second pickle resembled the first only in the first bite or so. And then I’d take each bite and carefully chew it. And chew it. And chew it. But never swallow. As it began to lose flavor I would carefully dole nibbles of what was left, each fresh burst of pickleness sparking a fraction of the joy of a real bite. But as long as I was chewing, I was eating a pickle.
I could spend hours chewing. Every infinitesimal bit of flavor was systemically worked out of every shred until I was chewing a pickle adjacent cud every day. It took a while for my mom to figure out why I always seemed to be chewing. It could last from lunch to dinner, really, and if I could have saved my disgusting facsimile to resume chewing after dinner I would have.
My mom tried to ban this behavior but ran into my overwhelming stubbornness and autism. I would not be swayed. If there were not more pickles then I would insist on this perverse charade of getting to enjoy them for as long as I could torture their spirits with my mouth.
So my mom lifted the Pickle Ration and I ate myself sick for a week and never mummified a pickle in my mouth again.
#story#funny#my life#ramblies#sometimes I remember this behavior when eating a pickle as an adult and I wonder at my childhood self#food#ffs foibles
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𝐅𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐁𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐫: 𝐑𝐢𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐄𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧
★ ot7 x fem!reader
★ The Riize members who would respond the best at being called 'Daddy' (Shotaro, Eunseok, Sungchan, Wonbin)
★ warnings: nsfw, +18, dom/sub dynamics, Daddy Kink, Praise Kink, Phone sex
─── ⋆⋅ Shotaro
Your voice is stern and remarkably unimpressed when you call your boyfriend's name from the kitchen. Only a couple seconds later, and Shotaro is lazily strolling in... large hands buried in his pockets with that distinct smile stretching the corners of his full lips. His eyes swell with mischief as he leans against the fragile counter.
"Yes, my love?" He sings in a tone of voice that Shotaro weaponizes against you time and time again. When his voice was as airy as it is right now, drenched in literal honey, it proved significantly difficult not to give into his advances.
Right now, however, you're perfectly unaffected by his smile. Instead, you cross your arms over your chest, giving him a death glare as you lean against the counter adjacent to him.
Shotaro's smile is immovable.
"God, you're so sexy when you're frustrated." He pushes himself over the counter, slyly prowling his way to you. "Makes me wanna-"
You push lightly at his chest. Turning instead, to just your head at the pickle jar sitting idly on the counter beside you both. "Open it."
Your voice is stern and monotonous with all traces of jest gone. "I don't have time for your nonsense, Shotaro."
"Ooh!" He exclaims, "My government name? You must really be mad," he snickers before bending down to splay slow wet kisses along your cheek.
"Shotaro." You push at him again, but his hands immediately fly to your hips.
"I'll open it," he whispers, voice heavy, "Just ask nicely," therein lay the proverbial catch. Shotaro could never just be nice for the sake of it. There was always a catch.
"Just..." he places his index finger under your chin, dragging your face up until your eyes were piercing into his. "Just ask me nicely."
Your breathing grows increasingly labored because your boyfriend is unfortunately incredibly attractive and incredibly persuasive. You watch the longing in his eyes grow with immense skepticism.
"I'll just ask Sungchan-"
He cackles loudly, "Do that and you won't get to cum for a month." He's smiling with his head tilted but one thing you learned was that Shotaro rarely ever made idle threats.
"Now c'mon," he says, bending down to you, "Just ask."
You're slipping unceremoniously into your subspace because he's cradling your face now. His shoulders are hunched over you protectively and you close your eyes as you force those words out.
"Please open the jar for me-" You begin, but his grip on your face is unrelenting as he sings, "Aaaahh-"
"Please open the jar for me," Your shoulders slump and exhale in defeat, "Daddy."
"See! How easy that was?" He praises you with a big peck on lips before swerving to pick up the jar of pickles. The big dopey grin he sports makes your embarrassment worthwhile, and Shotaro watches as you munch on your pickles.
"I like it when you ask for my help!"
─── ⋆⋅ Eunseok
It happens during dinner, more specifically, a group dinner to which you were so graciously invited along with the other partners of the other members. Excitement flowed like an electrical current in the air and everyone seemed pleasantly tipsy, whether by alcohol or just the overly infectious and good vibe. Naturally, your inhibitions are on an all time low, as you lazily leaned into your boyfriend while a flurry of waiters brought forth the second course.
Eunseok had been comfortable extending his voice over the chatter in the room while still allowing you to keep a steady grip around his bicep. His hand lazily sitting atop your lap, rubbing dizzying circles on your exposed thigh.
You're not sure how long this had been going on, Eunseok's fingers gradually hiking your pleated skirt up higher and higher while he remained chatting with his friends.
You couldn't contain yourself once his hand finally slipped inside, up under your skirt...
Instead of stopping him, instead of pushing him away by the hardened contours of his bicep, you let it happen. Releasing a small, little exhale as you opened your legs ever so slightly.
Despite still in animated conversation with Shotaro, you could hear the smirk peppered in his voice as his fingers eased their way against your cunt.
The mewl that escaped your throat was downright ungodly, but it succeeded in lightly coaxing Eunseok away from his previous conversation.
His eyes are heavy with seamless intoxication as he looks down at you with a breathless, close lipped smile. It's as if him previously ignoring you, had been It's own thing, along with rubbing your soaking cunt under the table.
Eunseok's eyes are glimmering when he bends down to whisper,
"You good?"
You most certainly did not have the current brain capacity to tell him you were absolutely not good because you've taken to opening your legs even wider. You shift uneasily, trying to create as much friction while still appearing inconspicuous, and Eunseok's eyes only grow heavier.
He fucking adores seeing you needy. He loved pushing you past the bounds of your own sensibilities. When your relationship began, it had been a case of 'if'. Whether it was actually possible to have his overly smart, overly independent girlfriend, cock drunk to the point incoherence. Once Eunseok learned that you were a fan of forfeiting the power in the bedroom, his goalposts had shifted to 'how quickly' he could get you to become a messy, needy little slut.
Evidently, this evening, it did not take much at all and he thanked the alcohol.
Panicking, you chose instead to focus on what was in front of you. A plate of glazed skewers that remained untouched, "Um..." you begin awkwardly while viciously apptempting to stave off just how needy you were, "I didn't order that-fuck," Your sentence wavers into a haorse crack as Eunseok's finger swipes over your puffy, clothed clit. In your periphery, his giant frame bends over your like an umbrella, focusing on your each and every movements.
"I didn't ask for..." You're absolutely fargone at this point, stopping and starting sentences while your brain fought the pleasure, "I didn't ask for the glazed squid skewers."
"You were in the bathroom," he immediately adds, and a jumpstart in conversation from the rest of the room would have completely made his next words go unnoticed. However, because you were hanging over everything falling out of his lips, you most definitely heard it. "I ordered for you."
Eunseok's fingers finally push past the barriers of your drenched panties, making direct contact with your weeping cunt.
"Is that going to be a problem?"
"Fuck- no, Daddy."
You immediate slapped a hand over your mouth, letting yourself whimper into the palm of your hand as your heart raged in its cage.
His face is expressionless.
"What the fuck did you just say to me?" There was a dangerous, heavy lilt in his voice that made you assume you wholly and completely fucked up. For all of 2 seconds you mourn your own dignity. That was made even worse when Eunseok pulls his fingers out of your cunt, and up from under your skirt as he patted the material over your legs.
"We're leaving." He said to the rest of the group, "She has a work thing,"
He pulls you up by your forearm, leading you to pass his members and their unsatisfactory rumblings.
Before you even mame it outside, he pulls you towards him, letting his warm breathe ghost over your ear as he hissed, "I need you to call me that shit again," he breathes out. "This time, with my dick inside you."
─── ⋆⋅ Sungchan
His brows are glimmering with evidence of pregnant beads of sweat, but still, his mouth is unrelenting. Sungchan eats you out with absolute zeal every single time without fail. Some nights, your sex would consist purely of Sungchan pulling your legs over the side of his bed, while his tall frame descended on your weeping cunt as if it were his second dinner. He was brash and incredibly passionate, as he locked his giant arms around your arms when he caught sight of you trying to escape.
For the most part, however, Sungchan's eyes are heavy-lidded with lust as he French kisses your pussy like he his life depended on it.
"Fuck, Channie-"
A sharp pinch on your thigh releases a very curt, very loud yelp from your throat, and you glare down at him. Sungchan's eyes are deadly as he pulls his head back ever so slightly. His lower face is glistening with your juices, but he refuses to wipe anything away.
"Am I not eating you out good enough?" He asks, head tilting as if he were genuinely perplexed. "Why would you call me Sungchan," he sneers at the very thought.
"Ew." He adds, before lowering his face back down to your center.
"The sooner you take what I'm giving you, the sooner we'll both get to cum," he did not clarify further as he reattached his eager lips to your cunt. Sungchan was not lying about the fact that he too was quickly approaching orgasm. He's pushing his cock into the side of bed, where he kneeled. Ab muscles tightening as he splays sloppy kisses on your cunt. His tongue, delving past your folds, as far into your hole as it could go.
"J-Just like that, Daddy," Your fingers curl into Sungchan's hair and he perks up like an overstimulated puppy. His eyes crinkle at the sides as he moans straight into your pussy.
Sungchan's hips thrust against the bed, almost at the exact same pace his tongue was fucking up into you. All you saw were stars, and your vision blurred as you pulled his face even closer against your pussy.
Although he enjoyed everything you gave him, Sungchan would admit in a heartbeat that this was his favorite part. This is why he loved eating you out. He loved the depravity of it. He loved watching you loose every shred of sinisibility, belonging to him and him alone.
"That's it, baby," he'd whisper, "Doing so fucking good for Daddy..."
─── ⋆⋅ Wonbin
Your heart is swollen in its cage when you realize he's most definitely tired. Instead of resting his undoubtedly tired muscles, letting sleep take him away into the night garden, he is up, talking to you.
"-That was probably my favourite part. Although I do think I could've probably done better in the second verse..."
Tedium is thick in Wonbin's voice. Almost as thick as the gruff tenor that flows from his mouth, through the receiver held to your ear.
"Didn't I say you're not allowed to do that," You scold lightly.
He sighs heavily through the phone, and you can almost imagine his dark eyes rolling, "I shouldn't focus on anything out of my control, I know that."
You nod. "What's done is done, and I think you killed it thank you very much,"
You may never really know of the cataclysmic effect your praise has on your boyfriend. Even when you were a billion kilometers apart, being connected by a single phone call, Wonbin still feels his body heat up as if you were right there, in bed beside him. He can practically feel the bed dip in the phantom presence of your curves shifting up against him. If he closed his eyes and listened to your praise bleed from the receiver, he could imagine you were right underneath him, taking everything he had to give.
"Binnie?" You suddenly ask, and Wonbin snaps his eyes open, gazing up at the ceiling. Although he is alarmed to find that his hand had drifted underneath the waistband of his Nike sweatpants, Wonbin's voice is stable. Giving nothing away as he breathes out,
"I'm here. I'm just..." His words do not trail off indefinitely because Wonbin does not gave the capacity to sound unsure about anything. In fact, he sounds very much in control.
"I need you to tell me where you are right now..." that causes you to sit up straighter against the headboard, a rush of excitement spanning through the undercurrent of blood in your veins.
"I'm at home," you whisper back, not quite sure why you were whispering but feeling the need to nonetheless.
"Hmmm," the sound reached your ears with the satisfaction of a very big purring cat, "Can you touch yourself for me?"
You obey without a second thought. Wonbin had never been easy to overstep. His overall aura practically coaxed you into obeying his every word and so it is of no surprise to you, that your hands are already firmly down your shorts, legs parted as you grinded against your palm.
Your labored breathing is enough to push Wonbin even further down his spiral of lust and he groans as he says, "Fuck yourself with your fingers, baby," how you adored hearing his pet names, especially when your mind was utterly buzzing with desire. "Imagine I'm there with you right now-"
"Oh, fuck," easing your fingers inside of yourself had been far too was given just how slippery your pussy was. Wondbin begins to stroke his cock faster as the lewd sounds of you fucking yourself with your own fingers, travel through the receiver.
You're a moaning and whimpering mess while Wonbin's only noise of enjoyment is his heavy, labored breathing. His mouth is open and his eyes closed shut.
"Fuck, you feel so good, baby," He says, kneedeep into his own fantasy, "Taking me so fucking well." He strokes himself faster. "Are you close, baby?"
"F-fuck yes, Daddy." The first real and raw sound of lust slips passed Wonbin's mouth.
"Fuck, you're gonna make me cum." He whispers with his mind still reeling. "Say it again... Tell daddy just how close you are to making a mess on your fingers..." He urged, now on the doorstep of his orgasm, "Fucking say it again, baby... Please?"
#riize x reader#riize x you#riize x imagine#riize imagines#riize smut#riize headcanons#riize hard hours#riize headcanon#riize#shotaro x reader#shotaro smut#eunseok x reader#eunseok#eunseok smut#riize sungchan#sungchan x reader#sungchan smut#sungchan#wonbin#wonbin x reader#wonbin x you#wonbin smut#wonbin imagines#sungchan imagines#riize fanfic#sungchan fanfic#wonbin fanfic#shotaro fanfic#Eunseok fanfic
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"How did we not see this?" "How did we not know that what Ariana Grande/Jamie Lynn/Amanda Bynes were doing was a sexual reference?"
Because that is part of the appeal, guys. The fact that you're part of an unwilling, not-understanding audience exposed to metaphors of sexual acts performed by unwilling, not-understanding actors.
You were not supposed to get what "Taynt" was supposed to mean, or what milking potatoes was a nod to, or what a pickle being passed through a hole in a bathroom door was meant to be.
It's all part of the fantasy, pushing children so, so close to the edge without "ruining" them, without giving them access to enough information that they turn into adults.
Wonder why Ariana Grande, in those internet skits, kept repeating "Can a teenage girl do this?" and "Can a teenage girl do that?" This is why. She's supposed to perform sexual adjacent acts, but constantly remind her audience that she's just too young to know what she's doing.
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could you please do brother headcanons for an MC who is autistic and can't handle many foods? (Fish, cauliflower, celery, certain spice/seasonings) like an MC who can't shut their brain up and feels sick even sitting near/smelling those foods? I know this is a huge ask, and if you need me to clarify i can! ^^'
of course! no worries at all
enjoy <3
Autistic Mc who can't handle many foods
Lucifer
he makes sure a list of the items you can't handle is clear
he actually puts the list on the fridge
if he can help it, he'll make sure you never need to be near those foods
he'll also let diavolo and barbatos know, who will also lend a helping hand
Mammon
he doesn't quite get it at first, but he wants to
so, he asks lots of questions if you don't mind
he makes sure he has a firm grasp of your preferences even if you've known each others for years at that point
every time he sends you a text asking if you like a certain food, you know the surprise you're about to get
Levi
he can and will eat the same thing every day
so, he gets it, in the levi way
if the two of you share the same safe foods, he's more than happy to share!
he'd love to have a cute stash with you <3
Satan
without you telling him, he somehow just knows your favs
when the two of you have study sessions together, a favorite snack of yours is out on the table
often times, he doesn't even touch it
he just wants to see you smile :)
Asmo
will ban anything you can't stand from any events he has pull in
he wants you to enjoy yourself too!
he is a firm believer in accommodations, and usually he just has the caterers treat foods you can't handle as allergy adjacent
like i said before, you deserve to have fun too and he's going to make sure you get that
Beel
he's part of the problem and he feels really bad about it
whenever he has a craving for one of your food aversions
he makes sure to go out to eat to get it, and doesn't bring home leftovers (that is if he didn't eat it all)
will bring you back one of your safe foods as an apology of sorts
Belphie
when you go out to eat
he'll be the one to stick up for you if your order is wrong and you can't eat it
very "they asked for no pickles" core
will give kisses afterwards <3
#gn reader#headcanons#obey me#obey me!#obey me x reader#obey me satan#obey me lucifer#obey me asmo#obey me mammon#obey me shall we date#obey me levi#obey me beel#omswd#obey me! shall we date#obey me! shall we date?
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catch me out here consuming every piece of media that references another piece of media that is foundational to the genre as it currently stands and never touching the foundational one
#pickle pontificates#is it something to be proud of. probably not#point is I think I have enough material to do a full historical reconstruction of star wars.#to illustrate exactly how bad it is:#i managed to read the entirety of LEGO Star Wars: The Visual Dictionary while still never having seen a single official movie or tv show#i don't have a vendetta. i'm not like stubbornly holding out or anything#i just keep getting star wars adjacent stuff from other circles of interest dropped into my lap#and i am not dying to watch it really so I need an opportunity where somebody else wants me to for some reason and it's easy#and that just hasn't happened yet
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Welcome.
To Oddly Specific Hermitcraft Headcanons! Here, you can see and submit any headcanons you have that can best be described as "oddly specific". Here are some examples of my own:
BDubs always toasts his bread for exactly 15 minutes. This doesn't burn it, because his toaster is broken. As a matter of fact, it doesn't toast anything at all, but the placebo effect works on him. No one's told him the truth about his "toast".
Impulse is lactose intolerant. The whole Season 8 iDimpy Bar Fiasco was supposed to have not happened with the power of magical amethyst fuckery. Unfortunately he messed up and it just made everything worse (read: the amethysts amplified the ambient magic in the air and caused him to start growing plants from his face along with the other unfortunate side effects)...
Pearl likes to crunch on pickles. Not as a snack, she just crunches them between her teeth. Gem always wonders what happens with the extra stock from her shop... Pearl isn't using all of it in her builds, after all!
Inbox currently at: 20
Queue currently at: 1
The only rules of this blog:
Don't be a bigot or otherwise rude.
SFW only, please! This blog is run by at least two minors. I, uh, don't know how old Mod Merle is.
We do accept headcanons related to gender, sexuality, neurodivergency, disability, age/pet regression, etc., but we ask that you keep them to a minimum, and they must in some way be oddly specific (as is the spirit of this blog)- and don't expect a mod response for those ones, because we don't have a lot of experience in those spheres and don't want to misrepresent anything via a misinformed response!
Additional info:
This blog will run on a queue, determined by how many asks we get on average. This queue is currently set to two per day.
We'll try to give a proper response to your headcanons, but it's not guaranteed! Our lives are busy!
Hermitcraft-adjacent series are also accepted for headcanons.
For submissions, don't mind the fact that not all the Hermits are in the available tags-- turns out there's a limit to how many tag options can be added, sooo... yeah.
With that... happy headcanoning!
#hermitcraft#hermitcraft 10#hermitcraft s10#hermitcraft season 10#hermitcraft season ten#hermitcraft smp#hermitblr#i'm only gonna tag s10 'cause that's the current one...#hermitcraft headcanon#hermitcraft headcanons#oddly specific hermitcraft headcanons
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a continuation of things that i think happen in my favorite fucked up silly little city (gotham)
• In hosptials in Gotham there’s another wing dedicated to super villain attacks Like how theres the ED, NICU, L&D, ICU, etc., theres another branch called Excessive Villain Attack Department (for) Emergencies. Also known as EVADE for short. it’s a brag to say you work in EVADE for doctors/nurses because A. the pay is ridiculously good, and B. how much extra stuff you had to learn to work there. People who work in EVADE have to go through weekly psych evaluations as well as physical testing to make sure they are still fit for duty.
• there are EVADE pop ups all around gotham so it’s citizens ares never more than 5 minutes away from medical attention. You have to work at a pop up before you’re allowed to work in EVADE in a real hosptial. People say working the pop ups is a lot harder and a lot nore stressfull, because people can come to you in really any condition out there.
• Similar to how kids in some areas cant wear certain colors like red or blue to school because of gang affiliation, gothamite students cannot wear anything superhero, vigilante or villain adjacent. No birds, bats, clowns, etc. Its a way for schools to try and stop kids from being targetted by their peers/ crazy adults who will attack them for supporting a specific person or party. Hero or otherwise.
• A lot of mom and pop diners/townie bars have foods named after vigilantes and specialty drinks named after villains. Some examples are:
Red Hoods Hot Chicken and Mac: bufallo mac and chicken with house hot sauce, so hot and tasty it will bring tears to your eyes! (this is true. jason tried it and he literally couldn’t feel his face. He couldn’t tell if he was blinking or not. Dick swears up and down he wasn’t.)
Nightwings: boneless chicken wings with a honey barbecue dry rub, with bleu cheese dipping sauce and chips and a blue corn dip. Dick can and will order 4 and eat them all by himself in one sitting.
Robins Eggs Breakfast combo: 2 sunny side up eggs, strawberry french toast, vegetarian sausage, house salad and an OJ. They tried to make it vegan but no one in Gotham wants breakfast without eggs. Robin said he appreciates the thought anyway. He is very smug and protective of his meal and the restaurant that made it. When he has the day shft he stops by there for breakfast, which isn’t often but still.
Signal soup: a classic squash soup, house focaccia and a garden salad. Its a seasonal meal that comes around every fall, and sells out almost every day for the entire season.
The Scarecrow: literally a long island iced tea with black liqueur in a martini glass with 3 olives. It tastes fucking horrible but will get you beyond hammered
Poison Ivy: shot of pochteca lime liqueur and pink whitney. Very tasty.
Regulator: its a blue margarita with coconut milk in it. Its a little sweet but its yummy. It’s common to black out on these because you cant taste the alch and by the time it hits you its too late and its the next morning and your naked in a strangers bed. Darn those regulators for a night you wont remember! at least the guy is handsome…
• See also the Condiment King challenge: A pint size glass of equal parts ketchup, mustard, pickle relish, mayonnaise, hot sauce, soy sauce, honey mustard, sweet and sour, bbq, salsa, fish sauce, vinegar, ranch, and wasabi. Hell in a cup! If you can drink it within 10 minutes without throwing up, you eat free at the dinner for a month and you get a t shirt that says “I completed the Condiment King challenge at Jimbo’s Dinner!” With a poorly drawn picture of condiment king on it. There has only been one winner: Timothy Drake. Jason dared him to try it after he hadnt slept in 3 days. Tim didnt puke, but Jason did. There were threats of violence if Tim ever told anyone that. Tim didn’t believe him, told Dick and magically ended up with a broken finger. “No AlfredI have NOOOOOO idea how it happened! Must’ve had a bad fall on patrol :3”
• taxes in gotham are shit-your-pants-when-you-see-it-the-first-time high. Gotham has to be able to pay for all the damages somehow, despite Bruce Wayne paying for about 15% of those damages out of pocket, its still not enough to stop prices from skyrocketing. To try and combat this, there is a Gala held anually for the top 10% of Gotham to fundraise for emergency city repairs. It helps a lot but doesn’t solve the problem.
#ofc vi writes too#headcanon#biblically accurate headcanons#dc#dc comics#batman#robin#red hood#nightwing#gotham#gotham is like my little snow globe that i shake to see what happens but instead of snow falling its actually mass destruction <3
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Um. More cats cause i can
my hc right now is that buzzingstar has a microchip-adjacent implant in his neck that lets cobs track him and that cobs is able to buzz/shock at will; it was originally for training/discipline purposes
suitcase- morningdream
knife- sharpfang
baseball- russetstripes
lightbulb- brightlight
pickle- swampnose
nickel- silversnap
#inanimate insanity#ii 16#ii 16 spoilers#mephone4#mephone 3gs#nickel ii#suitcase ii#baseball ii#lightbulb ii#knife ii#pickle ii#taco ii#buzzingstar oc#silversnap oc#morningdream oc#russetstripes oc#brightlight oc#sharpfang oc#swampnose oc#inanimateclan#warrior cats crossover#luna's inanimateclan
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french taco is always in my brain forever. (french taco's tirade day 4 soon btw³)
she's my favoritest girl AND she speaks the language I'm learning?? how could I NOT love that??????
(SO much more yapping under the cut)
I'll say this again in a different post most likely, but what they don't tell you about learning a language is that it will consume you. you'll so badly want to speak it and know more and more that it will drown you and you'll suffocate under the weight of suddenly having to pull yourself yourself away. sorry lol that sounded really heavy. I just really love french.
and I have so many thoughts about taco speaking it???????? but I can't even express them??????
here's a sentence in french I've wanted to use on taco ii for so long but haven't found a place to.¹
"vous habitez dans la forêt"
literally (roughly) translating to
"you (formal) live in the forest"
I. YOU.
HAND GESTURES AT SENTENCE
JUST. JUST LOOK AT IT.
in every waking moment I am thinking about french taco. I know the french word for suitcase! IT'S VALISE!!!!² AND IT'S A FEMININE NOUN!!!!! (tacocase shippers where are you. I have good news please come here.)
I also think her and mepad speak in french to each other. (see ¹) I think they have conversations and argue and I think mepad is translating all then and there lol.
I think pickle knows a few french words because of taco, but refuses to say them anymore because they remind him of her. do you think she called him "tu"? do you think she introduced him as "mon ami"? do you think she looked him in the eye(s) and did that? I do, and I think now the story is different. I think now she calls him "vous" so he doesn't pick up on it and argue that they aren't friends anymore.
but I don't think she had enough time to unlearn it for mic. I think she still calls her "tu", even- (sorry to interrupt, but it was this exact moment that I had a violently strong desire and urge to listen to 'little soldiers' by the Crane Wives for no apparent reason other than that I started writing and mic and taco. I'm listening now as I write this post.) -after their falling out. and I think, in time, mic starts learning french words with her. I think they start having conversations and mic learns french. maybe it's me projecting here, but I think she'd want to learn french. or maybe she's learning it because she still can't trust taco not to plan behind her back.
an early message (see ²) leads me to a question. do object's object names count as names and shouldn't be translated, or because they're objects, should they be translated? in simple words, if suitcase's name is Suitcase, and a piece of dialogue was written in french involving her name (ex: "salut, [suitcase]!"), would it be the french word for suitcase (valise), OR, because it's also her name, would it stay suitcase? "salut, Valise!" vs "salut, Suitcase!" this is also a question for multilingual (or others that know) osc fans.
okay back to taco. isn't it interesting how she's mexican food with a british accent that's fluent in french, and lives among what I can only assume to be american adjacent objects? that's so strange! that's so unique! I love her sm!!!!!!!
I really wish we got her french speaking brought up more, but I understand that would be difficult and kind of pointless to do for the plot of the show lol. we interrupt this plotline to bring you a message from taco, "PÉRIR, SERPENTS" thank you. this has been the inanimate insanity movie actually 1/one. I think I would have screamed forever if she got just ONE french line. ever. in season 2/two. I would have lost my mind. I would be so happy I got violent.
(I'm still listening to little soldiers, fyi. listen to it.)
I don't read or write fanfic but I'm starting to think I may have to so I can write french taco lines.
ALSO I SHOULD READ/WATCH MORE THINGS I FRENCH. (maybe I'll check if ii has an option like that so I can make french taco a reality lol)
ALSO!!!! french taco's tirade (see ³) has damaged my keyboard suggestions forever. watch this. habite dans la slate de la forêt. what was that wait what. "live in the slate of the forest"????? that's. that's french keyboard suggestion taco's advice today for you.
I feel like I'm saying nothing anymore. you want to see my attempts at a taco's tirade translation? of course you do, you're reading this.
day 1/one
#inanimate insanity#ii#osc#ii taco#taco ii#taco inanimate insanity#inanimate insanity taco#silver's mental breakdown
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