#physics (yknow as a joke) except thing is i used to talk like that at age 10 as well. just because my mother talks like that

[dreamertrilogys]

the older i get the more i realize that the way my mother talked to me as a child was just so wonderful in the sense that she’d just fully explain the science behind everything in my day to day life whenever she could

[arcadefloorvibes]

I don't have a title that I do for this anymore so uhhh

Hiya this is the text post, I am about to give a full rundown on how my partner and I have started dating because

my blog my house

I haven't been able to talk about this in depth with anyone except my siblings who do not care for the amount I am about to type and

my partner follows me on tumblr so kinda can't without it being blantantly obvious its about them (hi)

So this is going to be fun for me because i get to talk about this and this is going to be fun for my partner who pretty much got the summary of this

Quick thing: Partner will be referred to as Partner due to the fact I'm pretty sure his name isn't on here but I assume I will be told after this and Partner goes by He/they so I will be swapping

And now the readmore :D this is like a week and a half of chaos with additional 8 or so weeks before so we're back at it again with the long relationship posts nothing has changed

So to start this all off, you're going to need a bit more context on the mess that was us getting together.

We met through our dnd group, so immediately we're nerds off the bat and then became closer friends after we found out we both catch the same train from the same stop to go to dnd

We're also both very physically affectionate, which did make it difficult to work out whether we liked each other platonically or not later, but we'd hug and talk for an hour each way on the train

My partner is also an affectionate drunk and so within the first week or so of playing dnd, there were sweet messages in the group chat.

Somewhere along the line, more personalised messages go into my dms and eventually my email because I just thought "yea that makes sense"

About two or three weeks into dnd, we both decide to meet up in the city and go shopping because he knew manga stores and I didnt.

The shopping trip was fun! We got manga, I showed them the underground bookstore, we got ice cream (that i paid for, this will become important later) and at this point we'd been out for about 4 hours.

I, normally go shopping with my 3 younger brothers and therefore use "We" a lot. This does not work when you are no longer with your siblings

So being the genius that I am the checkout conversation goes as usual

"Do you need a bag?" "Oh no thanks, we've got one" (gestures to Partner)

And the SECOND we are out of the store, they just go "she probably thinks we're together" and 'Im already internally screaming at my social blunder so i just say "Yea we seem to get that a lot"

Then on the bus home the conversation turns to "if you ever need a fake boyfriend let me know because I'd do a great job at that"

And so it becomes a running joke that when we're out together, we look like a couple, because we kinda did, the hugs, they'd hold my hands when they were cold (highly unromantically mind you) and then the looks we'd get kept the bit running

Then during other conversations throughout the 2 months we knew each other, we had literally said we don't know if these feelings are platonic or romantic because we weren't used to it, but then the other would neither confirm nor deny, there was also a pickup line bit he did for a while and also pointing out that "its like the universe wants us to be together" with the amount of coincidences

Then came the second Monday of August, Partner had just gotten SIGNIFICANTLY fucked up on drinks and was not doing great, i don't remember much of the day but i do remember being very worried so i wrote at like 12 am a really long email about how important they were to me, it took me about half hour to write it

And then i open discord, and there's a message from him at 12:03 that basically read

Hey, i love you but like yknow in a friend way (idk discuss with sober me)

...yknow. after i just sent a massive email about how much I love them.

So i figured we're going to talk about this at some point, so i should just think about it! Yknow! Imagine a universe where we're together!

And i did

And I really liked it

And alllllllllll the denial I'd had over that past few months just for a little bit disappeared

So i did not sleep well that night, understandably, and i wake up the next morning to read what was basically:

Haha drunk me is fun to read, no need to discuss lol

...once again. Not confirming or denying.

And I'm just like okay I'll go back to thinking about you platonically and it just didn't work it just straight up didn't work because it just felt like the same denial I'd had previously

It is Tuesday now, I have early morning classes, so i went to class, i overthought, i denied and i tried so hard to get myself to like another guy in my class that i thought was cute but all i could find was more reasons to like Partner

So i get home after having what is essentially a 17 hour day and I get on call with my friends and we're just doing the usual of watching Doctor Who while screaming at our 3d program and I don't remember a lot of how we got to the point we did but we had cameras on, I had mine on but turned off so I couldn't see myself.

This part is fun because apparently Partner doesn't remember this but!

It was just a small thing of looking at everyone and one of our friends points out that you could see me in Partner's monitor but just like in the corner because of how the camera was angled and i reacted with "Ack!" Which prompted:

Partner: Whats wrong with you being on screen?

Me: I dont like looking at myself

Partner: Why? Youre beautiful

Me: ...Thank you...

And so they just tilt the camera away so i can't see myself and good news, my camera cant pick up my blushing but im just kind of losing it a little

I dont use "beautiful" for myself, its not a word that I think applies to me. Theres "cool" and "handsome" and "cute" and occasionally "pretty" but I've never liked when I was called beautiful growing up

And in that small moment, i really really liked the word, i still like hearing the word from them honestly, still don't think it really applies but sometimes i see it

At the time, this was NOT HELPING, especially paired with the coincidence of that day's wordle being "Lover" i was maybe going insane

Wednesday the ASMR bit starts.

Me and the asmr bit had a complicated relationship, on one hand its very nice, on the other hand i was trying to deny and this was also NOT HELPING. The asmr was basically compliments and the occasional ara ara

Thursday i make a playlist to try and focus on literally anything and i write down all my feelings out of hope that on the train the next day i would be fine

I get my hugs on the train, i get my random headscritches, we go shopping, i buy us cream puffs, they mention this is like a date, i dont confirm or deny, there's a small moment on the tram with a hug and a "haha wouldn't it be funny if you did the anime thing of falling on me?", and then because we have time we go op shopping

I got to learn a lot more about Partner's fashion tastes (alt) and i get to talk about mine (punk) and I'm talking about how i want a suit jacket but none ever fit me and as i say that they pull out one that looks my size

And like the fucking genius that i am im like "okay hold these for a sec" and i give them my bags while i try on the jacket

"I'm doing the boyfriend hold thing right now lol"

And I looked at them and just for a second I considered confirming and then i didnt and just did a neutral "yea my bad..."

And then I said "we" at the register again and I did acknowledge that to which the response was "At this point, it's probably easier if we just started dating, there's so many signs the universe keeps giving"

My response was "yea..." but in a way that didn't confirm or deny

Friday was my birthday, my body decided to just keep filling with adrenaline every time I thought about them, I had a few shots of vodka and accidentally told my siblings what happened

Saturday and Sunday I kept thinking about it at work and overthinking and rethinking

Monday I was on call talking the whole time, the asmr bit continues, the feelings don't go away, a conversation doesn't happen, its like everything is the same as always. There's talk of black lipstick and eyeshadow, the nerves get stronger

Tuesday was when I thought maybe they actually liked me back, there were "I love you"s, I was kind of flirting back maybe idk, and I decided that these feelings weren't going to go away and I should at least ask to work out if this is platonic or romantic or otherwise I will go insane

Wednesday I'm just thinking about what to say and nothing is working because even writing this now i still cant predict anything they say so i made up about 20 or so different ways of asking, the black lipstick couldn't be found and so i was a little more safe

Thursday. Thursday was planned to meet up early since their bus arrives earlier than i do so i walk up to the train station, playlist on loop, rehearsing and rehearsing and i get there to watch them arrive on the bus.

I like that image in my head, the fact that we both saw each other and waved, the massive smiles and oh my god the eyeshadow was giving me a heartattack. I have like 4 selfies of the eyeshadow now and it still gets me

We talk like always, I'm trying not to stare, I'm trying to form the words but every time i think I've got them the silence stops. We get on the train, the hug occurs and the week before I'd initiated a handhold so i was just there talking and thinking and terrified of fucking this up but it would've been worse if i left it.

4 stops until we get off and a silence stays long enough for me to at least try

Me: Okay so I told myself i was going to say something because otherwise it would get worse and this is really embarrassing but I'm going to try Partner: Okay...? A sigh and a breath Me: so you remember the message you sent on Monday? Partner: oh... yeah i do... Me: well i figured... we should talk about that...

And i explain a much shorter rendition of that Monday and veryyyy slowly his ears go red and it starts to spread:

Me: so like I'm fine with either, i just need to know what we're doing Partner: I wish i could give you an answer but I don't know either

That was not in the script so we just kind of sat and thought, doing the kind of shocked laugh thing and I'm just observing reactions while trying to think of what to say, I'm watching them fight their own denial in real-time

So i just said "I'm going to explain my past week and a half and if see if that helps"

And i explain pretty much all of that above and extra things, giving them a bit of time to process after each thing, noticing the denial again and kept going because all I could think was if I was going to get an answer I wanted one where we were being honest.

After explaining all that, and telling him to stop apologising and me apologising for dropping this all at once since they'd gone totally red and were shaking a bit, I let the silence sit for a while, 2 stops to go, before i said "Fuck it, I'm going to hold your hand properly and you can tell me how that goes"

And we both really liked it, and we held hands the rest of the trip and i initiated more hand holding as we walked around the train station. I then had to go to class but we planned to take the train home together, normally we didn't do that

So we got donuts and held hands again, I got the asmr bit irl so I did lose a lot of the control I'd had earlier in the day as now I was the red one

And that's it! that's how we started dating!

As of publishing this, our first date and week together is tomorrow and it's been incredible so far and they already know how much they mean to me because I keep saying it and I'm going to talk as much about my partner as possible because why not and also I know for an absolute fact they'll read this so

I love you, you're amazing, we're so bad at this, I hope we can keep trying until we get it right and I will keep writing until I can't write anymore

And that concludes the post! ah! I have a partner! the progress of the past few years is insane and I'm learning so much about myself while I'm at uni and if I've grown this much in one trimester I'm so excited to see what the next 3 years bring

And final note: this post is 2.4k words :D

[compassionatereminders]

hi kat!

i am here because i know you offer a listening ear and often some life advice, and i have something that is weighing on me heavily, and no one really to talk to about it right now.

sorry. this is long. cw for a short mention of suicidal thoughts ?

i have a friend. i HOPE they are still my best friend but im not sure anymore. we have known each other for 6 years and i love them immensely. we had semi-seriously joked about living together someday, and for years until a few months ago, if i was hanging out with a friend, it was them. they are an amazing person, super creative, kind, funny…! we get along like no one ive ever met before. i am also friends with their siblings and their parents.

a few months ago i noticed them changing a bit… more withdrawn… but i figured it was just, yknow, having other stuff, or something. problem is i developed… not a crush… i am aroace, so it isn’t romantic, but it is a deeper platonic love than i have ever felt before. i didn’t tell them cause they’re also aroace, and the only relationship they’ve ever been in caused a lot of trauma… i still don’t know the story there but i know it’s not good. so i decided… i will keep it to myself. but i daydreamed a lot about like, living together… cuddling with them… having them play with my hair. i have a complicated relationship with touch, so that was a big deal for me. but i resigned to never having this, which is okay, but it did cause me heartache.

months later. i go to hang out with them. some physical contact - laying on the ground next to each other, stuff like that. very nice for me. but as it turns out they are actually extremely touch averse - a combination of sensory problems and trauma. they like the IDEA of it but not the reality. so. we had a little discussions, of course i respect their boundaries, but again this causes me some heartache. which i wouldn’t ever tell them about because i wouldn’t want them to feel guilty for this.!

but after that… they don’t talk to me much for a while… they are acting more withdrawn… i know for a fact they were actually purposely avoiding me, lying to me… i see them frequently but i was afraid they didn’t like me anymore and didn’t want to be around me or be friends anymore… well i finally got up the nerve to text them and they said, you know, i am so sorry you felt that way, it isn’t you i am just dealing with some difficult things right now. so i was very relieved.

but still we don’t talk nearly as much… i am still so so afraid they don’t like me but i don’t KNOW. when i m with them it is okay but whenever i am alone… i think about it… and it causes me physical pain… i can’t sleep well, i can’t do my homework, i get sick from it… every time i am by myself… i miss them so much and everything in my life is a reminder of how it used to be… every song is one i used to share with them… my favorite blanket is one they gave me… even our characters had intertwining backstories… it is getting worse every day and i feel like i’m being eaten alive… i am becoming somewhat suicidal and that scares me because i thought i’d gotten through the worst of that but this is so, so much worse… i WON’T hurt myself or commit suicide but sometimes i wish to (again, i will not, that’s not a concern at this point, just that ive been having these thoughts at all).

i can’t stand not knowing if they like me anymore, if anything will ever be the same again, if i am alone and have to find my way to a new future without them in it… i am losing myself to this and i don’t know what to do…! i don’t know if it’s real or not… if i am making it up, if they are just going through stuff themself, i have been on-and-off convinced they are teaming up with a mutual friend to make me feel like this on purpose which OF COURSE they’re not except sometimes i think they are…

have talked about it with 2 important people in my life but not all of it… i am too scared to tell people how deeply i feel about my friend… i am scared of telling people many things about myself…

if you decide to answer, thank you… thank you for all you do for everyone here all the time… i have asked you things before and always i find myself doing better afterwards… so thank you so much. you are lovely and an inspiration to me to do better at boundary setting and similar things… thank you.

I think you gotta go to them and communicate something along the lines of "I have some desires and needs in this relationship which aren't being met, and we need to discuss whether that is something you are comfortable providing. If it isn't, then that doesn't make you a bad person at all, but then I will have to distance myself for a while to work through my own feelings"

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 3506

my head is itchy.

i started having to put most of my hair up when i sleep because it gets too hot/in my face too much. times like this are when i miss my undercut the most. having the front up like keith with his pineapple hair in the game show episode and the back down and bothersome is a pain in the ass and the back of the head and i hate it.

tomorrow is a work day, so i need to leave around 10am to get there, but that also means i get to see joel tomorrow, and i'll get to sleep in our comfy bed again and get cuddles again and have someone who i can talk to candidly about everything without needing a filter. i have been using less and less of a filter at home since it doesn't seem to be as shocking anymore, but there's still the "can't tell gay jokes to my parents" thing. so that's one thing. but still. there's nothing quite like a hug from my mom. yknow? those who have extra shitty moms i'm your mom now and i will give you hugs forever. i've been told i give the best hugs. part of it is because i'm fat and the other part is that i'm physically warm and the other other part is that i hold onto the person i'm hugging with intent. i give damn good hugs and you will feel loved and treasured when you get hugged by me. because you fuckin are. get loved, idiot.

anyway.

head itchy, workday tomorrow. my mom and i went shopping a little today and picked up a new box of nice paper for my résumés to be printed on, along with a bunch of new baby clothes because my friend might've given birth today? it's either today or tomorrow but we haven't heard from her yet except this morning saying she was at the hospital. i'm so excited for her.

also i'm bringing my fabrics with me to work so i can cut them out and start sewing. or so i can teach myself to embroider? because i'd like to embroider the baby's name onto the quilt, along with her birthday. make it cute and super personal. i'm so excited for her.

i also have a new friend on twitter who is struggling a lot rn. they're in grad school and struggling with their mental health and family trauma and friends being distant and on top of that, it's the Big Time ADHD and struggling with time management and getting things done in time. so i'm doing my best to be a support for them and be an accountability buddy because i know all of that pain all too well. so i listen and give advice and empathize and give support.

nothing is ever expected in return. friends don't expect things back. friends willingly give because they love one another. and that's what i've learned from my new groups of friends. and i love them for that. 🩷

in the meantime, i'm a little hungry and i need to sleep because tomorrow doesn't wait for anyone.

[mottephobia-imagines]

Holy frick I forgot to request , how about Ejiro , Denki and Hanta having an plus sized s/o? Maybe they’re a li insecure

This speaks volumes to me 😳

—

Kirishima Eijiro

He adores you

A d o r e s

He loves your body and how squishy it is lol

Constantly compliments your body anywhere anytime

It doesn’t matter who is present- he will make you feel beautiful and that is on p e r i o d t

“You look so stunning babe! You’re the best looking meal here!”

“Shitty-hair, there are other people who are fucking eating.”

Will mean mug anyone that says you’re not attractive

You will have to restrain him from fighting a bitch

If someone makes a remark about your body, he’s throwing hands lmao

But then afterwards he’ll reassure you that what they said wasn’t true, and that you’re perfect the way you are

Every once in a while you’ll catch him staring at you in awe

Like, pure adoration awe

He loves you with all his being awe

When you tell him that he’s staring, he blanks out at first but then just continues to shower you in praise

“What, beautycool? I can’t stare at the most beautiful person in the world? You stare at me all the time when I work out!”

Every time you feel insecure he really does try his best to convince you otherwise

Has actually written a whole essay on why you’re the best looking human on earth (some typos here and there but it’s the thought that counts!)

This boy will never fail to make you smile no matter what and that goes for anybody really, but especially his S/O

If his S/O wants to exercise he’ll gladly help, but he won’t pressure them into anything that they don’t wanna do

Omfg when you cuddle that’s his favorite part highkey- he’s be feeling you up (but not in like a sexual way yknow?) and he lovessss how you fit in his arms

Your stomach is his favorite part on your body (he loves every part dw, but your stomach gets extra attention) he lives to give gentle kisses on your tummy 🥺 and wrapping his arms around your waist every morning or every second really

All in all he’s the best boyfie ever 10/10 get a Kirishima in your life

Hanta Sero

Honestly, honest to god, he loves having an S/O who’s on the chubbier side

He’s just fascinated by the size difference (in a good way)

Like, you two are pretty different physically and he just loves??? It???

He loves your curves and your stomach rolls, tbh he thinks they’re adorable and he squishes them all the time

He lovesssss hugging you from behind

A lot of people think it’s weird, but those who voice their not-so-nice opinions on your relationship (you in particular) gets his sass

As soon as they make that rude remark about your weight, he’s on them in seconds

“Mi amor’s perfect the way they are; can’t say the same for you, though. Try reading the room next time?”

When you asked him once to use his tape to make your stomach less prominent, he gets upset and has a very thorough talk with you about your insecurities

It breaks his heart knowing that you don’t see how beautiful you really are, and now makes it his goal to get you to realize that

Compliments you here and there, however I hc that sometimes he doesn’t catch what he’s saying and often offends people

So he tries his best not to offend you when he does compliment you

Yknow how like Hispanic/Filipino families tend to joke around kinda harshly? Like, to the degree it’s insulting (but they don’t really mean it)? Yeah, he’s trying not to do that because that’s how he grew up and he’s learning to get that out of habit

Whenever you meet the Hispanic side of his family, he jumps to your defense and explains why you’re uncomfortable and hopes his relatives understand

He doesn’t want you to ever be uncomfortable with him or his family, or anyone really

Sero loves you, he really really does, no matter what size or shape you are

And he hopes one day you’ll see what an amazing, beautiful person you are

Denki Kaminari

Ah, a man of culture, truly

Genuinely thinks knows he scored the lottery getting with you

If you think Kirishima adores you, this man has you as his whole universe

Honest to god he thinks the Heavens have spoken and rewarded him with the loveliest human being for some good deed he did

Every single damn fiber of your body is subject to Denki’s love, no exceptions

Tummy? Check, kisses all over. Arms? Yes, always held tenderly. T h i g h s ? He simps. C h e e k s ? (Both up and down 😏) omfg they’re his lifeline he will not leave you alone

Yknow that one position where one lays on the other’s thighs? Yeah, Denki’s a thigh and ass man, you bet your ass he’s gonna love that position doing anything and everything

Does not shut up about you ever; everyone is subject to his ramblings about you

“My buzzy beautiful sunshine nugget’s lookin’ extra fine today!”

“Your pika-pika level’s off the charts, baby!”

Yknow, compliments you as such

I hc him having a drawing hobby, so yes- ya mans gonna make portraits of you all. the. time.

Will brag about you to anyone and everyone

Someone makes you insecure tho? Petty Denki mode activated

If someone comments on your weight, immediately jumps to your defense and becomes passive aggressive towards them

If they’re making you uncomfortable physically, oh Lordy they won’t be for long

Pranks or violence, the only question is which one

Another starer, but recovers quicker than Kirishima

“Staring at the brightest thing in the room is only natural, babe.”

Sometimes it may seem like he’s with you just for the physical aspect of you, but trust me he adores even the way you go about things

How you think, how you talk, how you organize that huge pile of laundry- every little thing he’s noticed he adores and will continue to do so because you’re the best person in his life

—

I hope this was good enough ajdhsjwk

Some projecting here and there, nothing much tho

So guess who’s been listening to a bit too much Yagami Yato 😎

[randompasserbyer]

For the D.I.D meme, 1, 6, 16 and 17

sytfuygihnoi #1 is a big one so I’ll answer the other 3 in another ask lmao

1.  Introduce your headmates/alters. How many are there? What are they all like?

So, there’s 26 of us, give or take 2, so I’ll try to give brief descriptions of everyone in order of when they split. Thank you for asking uwu

Blue is our host. He's the one we all refer to as the owner of the body. His form in the headspace shifts depending on his kinshift, but he’s usually presenting as an Underswap Sans fictive. He uses he/him pronouns a lot but he’s genderfluid and often doesn’t consider himself a man and appreciates being called a woman despite using he/him pronouns. Gender is confusing tyfugihop

Sam is the main protector/gatekeeper of our system. She’s been around the longest, she was the first that Blue was aware of when he noticed the system, and we all kind of look up to her. She’s a “take no shit” type of person and we’re all very grateful for her. She looks like a ghost and I don’t know how else to describe her iohguyfutd

Quadi is our main trauma holder. She rarely fronts and I have zero clue how to describe what she looks like. Nobody ever interacts with her in the headspace because she’s always in her room. If she fronts,, just send her love and support.

Shnep is.. well, I don’t actually know her role, to tell you the truth oiugfyt She looks like Walmart-brand Flame Atronach from Skyrim. She only gets to front if Sam lets her front and it’s a controlled environment. Loves to play videogames tho. Murder Mystery is her favorite cause she gets to let loose.

Watcher is our persecutor. He’s only gotten front, like, twice in the last year but he causes plenty of harm in the headspace. He can shapeshift and the only way we can tell it’s him is that his eyes will stay black. He’s been around just as long as Sam, but you can never find him unless he wants you to. Our protectors are good at keeping everyone safe.

Zane is our sexual protector/trauma holder. He stays in his room as well but we’re free to come visit him at any time. I don’t,, really know?? how to describe him?? He’s another shapeshifter but I personally haven’t interacted with him since I formed so I can’t tell you much ftuhiojn

Viper is a giant skeleton lamia and while I personally quake in fear, he’s a genuine sweetheart and he loves talking to people. He knows broken English but he doesn’t let that stop him. He actually went dormant shortly after forming and nobody knew he even formed until he woke up a year and a half later and everyone went “Huh?????”

Nightshade is an Error Sans fictive. He’s another one of our protectors and he’s really good at his job. To be more specific, he’s an avenger, he helps us deal with our abusers. He’s gotten over his haphephobia for the most part since splitting, though it flares up around strangers and honestly I don’t blame him.

Template is a Template Sans fictive lmao. creative nickname I know XD He’s a middle and Nightshade is fiercely protective of him. He loves to play videogames and draw. Ask him about Spyro or Pokemon ;) He keeps going in and out of dormancy so,, idk when he’ll front again but he always seems to have a good time when he does.

404 is a Blueberror fictive. He’s fairly impulsive and.. yknow, I want to say he’s impulsive, but the guy has so many amnesia barriers about his entire being that I can’t say it for certain. He’s a cryptid. You’ll never see him in the headspace unless you see one of his soft triggers and he has so few of those lmao (Our partner says he’s like Ghostbur but hyper, so take that as you will)

Gold is a Birdtale Sans fictive. He doesn’t like to talk unless you’ve gained his complete trust, or he’s alone. He’s very much a “body language is a universal language and it’s the only language in the universe I know” kind of guy. He tells great puns tho. He’s pretty chill. Apparently he formed like.. years ago?? And Sam had just been blocking him from the main area of our headspace for a really long time??

Squid is our Ink Sans fictive (are you seeing a pattern here? Hyperfixation go brrrr). He’s chaos but he can be pretty down to earth if he wants to be. He’s stuck in a state of constantly missing his old life, though. He loves to draw and leave long supportive chaotic comments on other people’s art. If he can’t draw, he gets anxious.

WDG is our Handplates Gaster fictive. His lab takes up the entire basement of the headspace mansion and half of it is just an entrance to the Void, which only he and Shard can access. He’s very analytical and emotionally and physically distant, but he’s really good at making sure the body is taken care of. He likes to document everything he does and when so it’s pretty easy to see what he did when he fronted. Terrified of his curiosity though, that skeleton loves science way too much.

Shard and Sunshine are a subsystem Shattered!Dream fictive. Sunshine is really sweet but very paranoid and sensitive. Shard is actually both a persecutor and a protector. Kind of a.. “Nobody gets to hurt this system except me” kind of vibe, yknow? He’s been working hard to reform though because he hurt our partner once and felt really bad. He’s come a long way ^^

Viola is an Underswap Sans fictive, but she split from a fanfiction called By the Angel (it’s nsfw if you look it up, but it’s got a great plot lol). She’s actually transgender since her fic has her as he/him and we’re very supportive of her <3 She’s.. I don’t know how to describe her other than she’s got an old soul and a old-fashioned way of speaking. She loves to listen to kulning videos. Swedish culture really vibes with her.

Drake is a fictive from a really old Minecraft roleplay called The Haunted. He’s half Enderman and he can do magic. He’s kind of timid and his anxiety is always through the roof. He gets hella dysphoric when he fronts and often has headaches and we’re?? not sure?? if he’s a subsystem or not??? with Herobrine??????? He won’t tell anyone if he is or not, he just dodges the question.

*inhale* Pinky is a vampire Ink Sans fictive. He’s what would happen if you gave a vampiric opossum a bigger body lmao. He’s incredibly mischievous (and a tad selfish, if you ask me) and likes to cause pranks at the worst times. He adores our partner though.

TB is a Technoblade fictive/factive. Both?? It’s hard to tell with him. He looks like a twunk piglin and behaves like one too. He’s taken on the role of protector recently, though, and he monitors any new splits until we’re sure they’re not going to hurt the body or any relationships with other folks. He likes to talk about piglin culture a lot. (he kins Billiam and it’s entertaining to watch him call everyone peasants and poor when we too are in fact poor)

Phil is our Philza fictive. He’s the dad friend of the system, the caretaker. He takes a very neutral stance on things and will often refuse to step into a fight, but he will try to calm folks down. I can’t tell you how much of a comfort he is. He loves to talk about his past life and his little family, though he gets sad about it sometimes.

Ghost is our Ghostbur fictive. He loves pranks and he’s very sweet. He has so much blue, you would not believe. He’s such a softy and loves to make people smile. He either hangs around TB, Phil, or Theo and he doesn’t usually front alone. He does have Alivebur shifts but he essentially just gets really edgy and depressed in a sort of self destructive way, but he’s still soft. He just tells really wild jokes and he’s a lot more impulsive.

SNL/Space Heater (he doesn’t have a good nickname yet) is our Sapnap factive/fictive. He really enjoys front but he doesn’t really get much done when he fronts tfuygiuhoip He just reads fanfiction lmao. He loves Dadboyhalo and Dreamnap content. He’s a pretty chill guy, doesn’t get into a lot of fights. He just wants to have fun.

Theo is our protege!Tommy fictive. He actually split from the popular fic Rewind and he’s just been.. vibing? He gets along well with Sapnap most of the time but he’s had a lot of trouble warming up to TB, Phil, and Ghost. I think he enjoys front?? He fronts often enough. I don’t know how to describe him except that he’s very Tommy-like lmao

Fakier is our newest split. He’s an ARG Wilbur fictive. He doesn’t like to talk too much about himself but he loves to infodump about codes and cryptic stuff like that. He’s actually done a lot with taking care of the body and taking long walks outside and just, enjoying life. He did leave the windows open on a really cold day tho and our apartment hasn’t been warm since :\ He seems cool, I’m just annoyed that my fingers and toes are freezing off lmao /hyperbole

We’ve had a few integrate over the past two years so it’s hard to keep track of how many there are for sure, but that should be everyone. Sorry for the wall of text dytufibonk Hope you liked the answer tho ^^ I’ll answer the other 3 answers tomorrow in a post together and @ you so you don’t miss them uwu

[babysgarage]

i’m gonna type out a long rant i said i’d save for after the last episode airs now it helps me declutter my brain 

okay i legit didn’t want to ship reki and langa from the start, partly bc they didn’t really fit my favorite tropes, partly because i really adored their relationship from the start and i didn’t wanna set myself up for a disappointment by expecting more but here we are 

i mean already by episode 2 they were shown to share a single braincell and were idiots together but i also raved about how caring and sweet they were to each other and how it made me notice that all other relationships between between to main characters/best friends in shonen and sports anime i’ve seen until now always had them as bickering rivals who viewed each other as goal posts they wanted to surpass, while also caring a lot about each other obviously 

but with these two it was never about that, they showed them bonding over stupid shit like watching videos on their phones and passing ketchup between them on a skateboard and reki helping langa with his job search and bandaging up each other’s wounds and becoming more comfortable with physical affection etc, and even when the difference in their skills caused their big fight, the main reason reki was upset was bc he thought he wouldn’t be able to skate next to langa, it never was about /beating him/ (the only time they even mentioned langa and reki racing against each other was in episode 11, and that was just encourangement for reki to win against adam and another way of emphasizing they wanted to skate together)

so i enjoyed the show for its animation and visuals and humor and the very sweet platonic friendship between the two main characters and i would’ve ridden it like that to the end but- you could see them growing closer in each ep and it gave me the same feeling as a certain other skating anime, and then came the conversation between langa and his mom where she asked him ‘do you like this person?’ and he yelps, blushes, looks away and stutters a ‘well.. yeah’ and hold the fuck up, am i seeing this right? are they legit doing this? or are we all just misinterpreting it? bc if it was what we thought it was, then it was a big deal, but no one from the japanese speaking side of the fandom that i follow seemed to be freaking out like the rest of us did so idk. the scene did have a comedic end so maybe we were supposed to take the entire thing as a joke, which, okay, i wouldn’t like it but i’d accept it. except they also gave us 4 episodes of langa looking like a kicked puppy because reki wasn’t there. and then there was a wholeass 3 episode arc where he figures out that his heart beats faster not because the skating itself, but specifically because reki is there to watch him/cheer him on/skate with him when he does. and then we have them making up in ep10 where langa showers him with compliments and they both blush and talk about skating together forever (’infinitely’) and they make an infinity sign a part of their fistbump routine and at this point i gotta ask myself ‘are yall trying to use this skating thing as a metaphor or smth?’ 1) because that’s a common thing in sports anime 2) because joe literally says ‘skaters are idiots. making friends, fighting, making up, you do everything trought skating’ uhhhh does that count for confessing to your crush too? so they finally make up and they go back to being happy (FINALLY) again after 4 weeks of being miserable without each other and langa even says "I always realize how much something meant to me after I lose it, like I did w/ you Reki" just... why go through all this fuckery of strengthening their relationship when it was strong from the get-go if you’re not really planning on going anywhere with it

and you absolutely have the opportunity to go somewhere with it because the literal theme of the main antagonist is about how wrong and fucked up his view on love is and he’s going up against langa in the last episode, who could make a case for, yknow, a healthy and good version of love that he himself learned of during the show (and of course that version of love could be platonic but that’d make me write another wholeass rant about some very problematic aspects of the show and also, like, i know this is utsumi’s ‘passion project’, i know she also worked on free! and bfish so i thought maybe she’d like to do something more lets say unquestionably romantic&gay if she were given the opportunity) idk why but my hopes are back at 0 where they were when the show began but we’ll see i guess. maybe yoi just really spoiled me and gave me too much confidence in my instincts 

[crowshira]

a rant, a depressed and anxious one

Sigh.

Okay.

I know this isn’t for this blog at all, since this is just a blog for art, jokes, and other feel good stuff, but,

It’s the only blog I have.

I would’ve ranted on Discord or Insta or something, but they both have a lot of my actual irl friends on there and that’s a bit too many people I know that I don’t want seeing this.

Also, there’s gonna be a good amount of swearing here, so swearing tw.

So where do I even start?

Fuck it, I’ll go down the line.

Friends and the Future

It’s my senior year in high school. I’ve made friends, so many friends on my way here. I love them all for all they’ve done for me. I appreciate all of them to no god damned end because fuck, I don’t think I could’ve made it even close to where I am right now without them. I would’ve given up long ago without them. I don’t even know what I did to deserve such amazing people in my life. I don’t even know how I’ll pay em back in my lifetime. I just... they’ve all been so kind and supporting in the time I’ve known them all and it’s just got me stunned thinking bout it.

But senior year. I’ve been told it’ll go by quick. It is. I don’t like this. Like, we graduate, and then college to work on our future and determine how the rest of our lives will be? It’s... pressuring, to say the least.

And fuck. I even managed to get dealt a bad roll for college apps, woopdee fuckin’ do. The entire period of time that seniors were supposed to be doing college apps and turning them in at the end of Decembe- well, let me clarify something.

From junior year, my family (and as an extension, me) were thinking of putting me through this program where I automatically get enrolled to community through a series of meetings, paying a year for the community completely. After that, you do community for one more year, then you get to transfer to a UC or CalState of your choice. Ain’t that somethin’? Well, yeah, my family has always been having problems with rent. I mean, we pay them on time, but it leaves us a bit on the slightly dry side in terms of leftover luxury funds, y’know? We never had a formal college savings fund, so this program was like a godsent to us.

Anyway, as a backup, in case the program didn’t work out, which was unlikely, but still, I wanted to still formally apply to some colleges, and if I did make it, apply for financial aid and just be in the negatives later.

WELP, we happened to be in a rent-related situation around the times that apps were prevalent and were supposed to be being done, so guess who didn’t want to burden and dig a deeper financial hole for their family for a backup plan? That’s right, yours truly, the bi disaster himself, right here! It’s not I had a choice imo, if I were to get about five-ish apps, that’s a pretty big lumpsome of cash right there, and I’m pretty sure it would’ve put us below what we needed for rent, heh. And when we did actually get into a more secure position, it was already late November, and the deadline was far too close to take care of all of the intricacies that I needed to file for, like scholarships and financial aid and stuff and stuff.

So all that time, where I hear all my friends dying internally because of the absolute amount of work they were doing for college apps, I was just sitting there. Not able to do anything for myself.

Speaking of my friends, that was a time where I was being ranted to more frequently because people were just fucking stressed the hell out over everything. I was fine with being ranted to. I’m always open to it. I wanted to help everyone that I could, but let me tell you: it made me kinda feel like shit, to be honest. For multiple reasons.

A) I wasn’t feeling the same pain as everyone else. I couldn’t be as stressed as them. I was living the fucking high-life because I couldn’t do apps while everyone else was slaving away. Everyone seemed to be falling apart, not just because of apps, but because of mental, familial, emotional, and sometimes physical problems, and I can only talk to them, give them hope, give them my condolences...

On one occassion, talk someone out of killing themself.

I- fuck. I don’t know.

B) Knowing that people I know and talk with daily and I cherish are in shitty moods just puts you in a similarly shitty mood. Sigh.

C) A sort of selfish and self-centered reason, but executive dysfunction, I think it’s called. It’s basically when you see other people working and you have nothing to do, but just seeing other people working makes you feel the need to make yourself busy and do work, except it’s a dumb cycle becaUse, ykNow, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO DO, so. Just seeing everyone else doing stuff and being accomplished and stuff while I just sat there and did nothing just made my anxiety about the future act up for a while.

Yeah.

But on the topic of college and the future... Everyone I know is basically gonna be scattered to the wind, huh? We’re all going to different colleges, I know this. They’re all fairly local and together, with the exception of one person, whom I don’t know is staying local or going out of state, but still. I’m worried. Will friendships I’ve invested so much into, something I’ve gotten so many good memories out of, just fade overtime like it’s nothing? It’s scary to think about. I love the network of friends I have. I dread thinking about losing it all to time.

Other Random Things

Ngl, I feel like I’m slowly becoming an utter disappointment when it comes to piano. It’s something I’ve pursued for well over half my life and because of a constrained and tight schedule, I’ve just hadn’t had the time to practice recently. And I’ve got a recital this Sunday, so I have to hope practicing this week can get me in shape.

What else.

I’ve been skipping out on sleep recently to get my work done while trying to fit piano practice into my schedule, so I end up sleeping at around 2 am and attempting to wake up at 6 am, but oversleeping and waking up 15 minutes before school starts. Thank god I live close.

What else x2.

I-

Should I?

Fuck it. This post has gotten this personal, what’s one more?

To keep it short, at least four other people I know are feeling a similar kind of mood as me, and my condolences for all of them, but one person in particular it irks me knowing they feel this way too, that being my s/o. I just. Don’t like it. I don’t want anyone to feel this way, much less them.

...They should also get some sleep. A healthy amount. :l

...

Awkward ending

Ty for listening to my long-ass TED talk

And sorry for the long-ass TED talk

...

Fuck my own eyes for tearing up

[moldypieceoflasagna]

36 questions that nobody asked me

(except @lollipoppedchainsaw )

(the 36 questions that lead to love or whatever) https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

I hate going out to dinner so much i probably wouldnt be able to enjoy it properly

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

It would be interesting to see what it’s like for a short period of time, but i’d never be able to keep it up; i’d probably have an identity crisis

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

yes i have to mentally prepare myself 100% of the time

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

hanging out with the people i love is enough to keep me happy for a good while tbh. sitting around doing nothing literally nothing with them is endlessly entertaining to me even though sometimes i might make that hard to believe 

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

i sing to myself a lot, not so much to others- although i AM a slut for karaoke

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

body because i feel thats probably what old people complain about most. plus like,, 90 years of life knowledge? sounds great to me

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

probably an accident that’s almost statistically impossible

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

single rn (ladies) but i usually try to find friends with similar music tastes because scream-singing in the car is the most fun one can have

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

im most grateful for my dogs and for my friends! i love them and it means the world to me to have people that i can call family. also i would die without my dog juno, she is my rock (and my therapist)

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

Not rly how i was raised, but i wish i had a closer relationship with my older siblings. Three of them had moved out before i was rly old enough to not be an asshole child, so most of them still see me as an asshole child and they never take me seriously. im glad i have an alright relationship with them, but that’s kinda all it is and i know i could do better

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

Lived in Texas my whole life yeehaw. I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters; 2 of them dont like me, and my relationship with the other 2 is,, certainly not bad. Had a lot of physical and mental illness in the past, but 20gayteen is definitely my year, yeet

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

either speaking a different language or playing the piano. im very jealous of good piano players, and at some point i need to be able to speak a more useful language than french because so far in texas it’s proved absolutely useless (other than talking to my mom but that doesnt count)

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

I’d wanna know wtf im supposed to do with my life because sweaty i still have no idea. passion? dont know her please introduce me

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

i wanna go skydiving bitch, no one wants to go with me! pussies!!! the lot of you

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

that one time i did an entire semester’s worth of work in the last three days of the school year

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

being able to put up with my huge fucking mouth. also honesty is super important, even if it’ll make me feel shitty

17. What is your most treasured memory?

when i went camping with a bunch of friends and they were bitter i got to be in the middle of the tent because they were all cold. either that or the time i was getting really bad sleep paralysis and @lonelywaterfall & @skity stayed over so my paranoia didnt render me completely useless,,, also the paramore concert lol ive never been more vulnerable in my life.

18. What is your most terrible memory?

coming out to my mom haha

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

i’d go on a trip around the world to explore/to see a few people, and i’d put extra effort into my gender expression

20. What does friendship mean to you?

comfortable silence is my kink. also emotional vulnerability and SAD BOY HOURS we cant forget those

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

I’m such a slut for physical affection yall have no idea please hug me as much as possible and play with my hair or my hands

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

i guess ill do the same with previous partners so.. i think being funny is probably the #1 thing i appreciate in someone. when you make me laugh so hard i cry, just know that’s like. peak. also stubbornness is strangely attractive to me, plus like,,, uh having an unexpected soft side? an appreciation of art is super important, too. also SPOON VERSATILITY.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

it was probably happier than a lot of people’s but there wasnt much to it. plus being the youngest in my ENTIRE family really sucked during my childhood because everyone picked on me and i think that’s probably what started a lot of my issues lol

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

better than it could be, but definitely not what i want it to be. we both love each other and i admire her work ethic, but she gave me a lot of anxiety problems (both genetically and not) and she isnt the most understanding person. i have hope though, people change

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling …

I’m hungry and sitting alone in front of my computer feeling like OVERSHARING ON THIS BEAUTIFUL THURSDAY MORNING, BOYS

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share …

many, MANY animals and a lighthouse in the middle of nowhere

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

I’m REALLY insecure about my body xd

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

LOVE feeling safe. 

29. Share an embarrassing moment in your life.

probably every time that i’ve ever worn a dress, because i really,, really dont like wearing dresses and that’s it

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

last cried by myself this morning and last cried in front of another person at my friend’s birthday party

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

no partner but if youre reading this im rly proud of ur attention span. gj buddy

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

i think most things can be joked about after a certain amount of time, but like,, it has to actually be funny and it has to come from someone i know isnt serious about it. if a joke is made just for the purpose of being offensive and edgy, it’s never funny no tea just truth. 

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

i’d regret not spending enough time with people that i love, not traveling as much as i should have, and also i’d regret not formally coming out of the closet to my family (they probably already been done knew but like. yknow). i came out to myself & the people closest to me a LONG ass time ago, but i’ve kinda seen what it did to my immediate family so im not too excited to do that to my extended family. if i’m not too much of a pussy, ill probably do it in the summer when i see them next, bc ive been meaning to for a while.

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

is it bad of me to say my computer? i feel like everyone else has a much more meaningful answer lol. it would probably either be that or the papers i keep on my bulletin board, bc most of them hold a lot of sentimental value (also my prescriptions  would be a pain to get copies of)

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

either of my parents because i dont want them dying before i reach the point where i can expect them to be happy for me when i marry a girl

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

personal problems? what’re those lmfao dont have any srry try me again later

 i’m too much of a pussy to tag certain people so if you see this and I've had any sort of conversation with you, do it coward

(also @skity  @drawinintherain )

[tumblunni]

Reading the kingdom hearts manga, woo! I saw some of this when I was like 15 or something, but this is my first time reading the whole thing in actual order. Here’s just a few good bits from the beginning so far!

I’ve gotta say that even though this series has a (REALLY BIG) problem with rushing stuff + cutting out most of the disney worlds, there’s also a lot to love!

I think it actually managed to make the beginning way more dramatic just from how everyone is..well.. drawn more disney. Or more manga..disney?? Like its not the same style as how humans are atcually drawn in disney cartoons but you’ve gotta agree that the people are more cartoony and expressionate here and it looks less out of place. Same for how the manga adds lots more humour even while keeping things tense and dramatic! it helps establish people’s personalities a lot quicker than the game does, and honestly GIVES perosnality to Sora who otherwise doesnt have anything except ‘is really nice and good’. Here he’s more socially awkward and hyperactive and like.. endearing cos he tries his best but doesnt always succeed.

And the clear facial expressions for all of these moments leave it feeling less flat and like.. hard to tell what the damn intent of the scene was. Seirously the only way I agree KH1 was ‘a kids game’ is how the attempts at ‘humour’ were really low effort. Like you can tell its supposed to be a joke from how the scene plays out but you really cant tell what the joke was actually supposed to be. Like the sort of “knock knock” “who’s there?” “i’m here!” jokes that kids make when they’re five. And ruining actual jokes by delivering them in the same stilted way, like the whole “the ship runs on smiles” scene could have been funny but it just plays out so weirdly devoid of all sense of comic timing?? And sora’s funny face is barely exaggerated cos they couldnt model it!

It sucks cos that scene was a great example of the ‘very wacky but also extra emotionally resonant’ kind of thing that this manga excels at! The context of that weird joke was that its the first time we see Sora completely devoid of all optimism, beating Traverse Town really is the finishing point of the very long tutorial, and the moment it all sinks in that his friends are gone and he doesnt know what to do. And for a guy who’se ENTIRE PERSONALITY so far has just been ‘nice, optimistic, and you the player can project whatever else you want on him’, it should have been a wham moment to see him fall down in exhaustion after all that and have a realistic human reaction to it all. And then it should have been really uplifting and established their immediate friendship when Goofy and Donald try their best to cheer him up, but like.. theyre fuckin stressed too so they dont know wtf they’re doing either. And Sora ends up actually laughing because his attempt to fake a smile is so god awful, and then they all fall about in one of those so-damn-stressed-that-everything-is-hilarious giggle fits, and Leon looks at them like they’re crazy. But it served its purpose of helping Sora feel optimistic again, not because it was actually funny but because it proves these guys care about him and he isn’t alone.

AKA EXACTLY THE TIDUS LAUGH SCENE IN FINAL FANTASY 10

i get so mad that it’s falsely blamed as a case of ‘bad dub voice acting’, when it was equally bad in japanese and the director fuckin PLANNED it to be bad! The characters in-universe end the damn scene by aknowledging its bad! Its just a fail of scriptwriting that they didnt make the intent of the moment clear before dropping the punchline, and it was animated so weirdly that it didnt really succeed at looking ‘intentionally bad’ but just.. bad. Exactly the same problem as the ‘ship of smiles’ face, for a scene that was supposed to deliver the same sad goddamn moment and instead went down in infamy!

Sneaking character development into a joke is a thing that requires a lot of actual skill, you shouldnt do it unless you’re gonna put the effort in to stick the landing. Steven Universe is the only show I’ve seen that consistantly succeeds at this, and the KH manga does a much better job than the game did. Even if, yes, admittedly, sometimes it flubs up and sticks jokes where they dont work, and actually ruins dramatic moments too. or just doesnt adapt dramatic moments at all and rushes through it cos they’re on a tight schedule. But I mean none of those moments fail as bad as the game’s occasional cringe, and the wacky style fits SO much better with the story that i can forgive those flaws! Plus they got way better as the series goes on, its only really KH1 that seems this rushed. And they actually added MORE dramatic moments to Days! I stopped reading the manga at the end of KH1 as a kid, and I started this whole rereading because I saw a page of Days where they (OH GODDD) turned one particular perosn’s death into legit traumatizing material. I don’t know why “I don't want to go” is such a simple way to burn your entire soul out. So if it started off good but flawed and turned into something even better than the games, HECK YEAH I’m gonna give it a second chance!

...sorry i went wildly offtopic there

Anyway I picked these pages to show cos its a good example of great jokes, how the jokes give more personality, and how they put more effort into personality in general and also the dark and dramatic stuff, which hits harder because its in such a fluffy adorable jokes manga.

Like you can see how Sora is more of a goofball and freaks out more and makes mistakes more, but also how when the fights arent playable they used it as a place to establish that Sora is actually way more intelligent than you thought, and his fighting style is physically weak but strategically skilled. Like he’s basically what Aqua ended up being?? And that’s way more endearing as a protagonist than just super overpowered destiny man where his only failures are because you the player are bad. Anf its also endearing to mix this genius strategist with a guy who’s EVEN MORE goofy oblivious and innocent, yknow? the genius ditz archetype! And also his cliche shonen hero obliviousness is.. well, less cliche. He reacts more like a real kid who’s just scared and out of his depth, and messes up when he tries to talk to the girl he has a crush on. It’s not like “harr dee harr, what is marriage, can you eat it?” unrealistic kinds of oblivious that only exist for the joke. Nah, relateable anxiety man! With goofier faces! I CANNOT OVERSTATE HOW MUCH I PREFER THE GOOFIER FACES

And man the beginning is so more fuckin dramatic when we get all DIFFERENT CAMERA ANGLES and ACTUAL FACES SHOWING DESPAIR and DARKNESS POSSESSED RIKU LOOKIN REALLY FUCKIN SCARY and it fuckin goes so fast from wholesome jokes with ur crush to ABSOLUTE DEATH and cos sora reacts so much more like a normal lil kid you feel actually scared for him even though you know how the story is gonna go. He’s not an archetype of purity he’s just like any lil neighbourhood duderino that you’d see running errands for his mom on the weekend. HE’S TOO YOUNG FOR ALL THIS PRESSURE!! AND SCARY RIKU FACES!!!

And man they fuckin ACTUALLY SHOW SOMEONE GETTING THEIR HEART RIPPED OUT ONSCREEN! Thats a way better way of establishing the whole crux of the plot! When you’re playing the game you know that seeing someone turn into a heartless should be traumatic, but it doesnt focus long on it and you never get to see any of the victims before they turned, and you’re more focused on gameplay. You feel less powerless when you’re physically able to destroy those things whenever you want, there’s never a moment like this where someone dies in a cutscene and its out of your control. (Unless you count some heroic sacrifice scenes in kh2 but thats an entirely different kind of feeling, and they turned out to come back from the dead anyway.) Also wtf i cant believe they got away with showing a creepy pedo lady in a kids shonen! I mean it does make me feel a lot less sympathy for her getting killed, but I still feel super sad seeing Sora get traumatized by it!

ALSO

Cid is good.

The way they write him in the manga reminds me of Bardo from Black Butler? He’s a similar chain smoking grumpy dad figure who looks like harmless comic releif but has a bunch of hidden heavy artillery in his shitty kitchen for when he needs to protect his family. And it was extra badass (and hilarious) when he once actually used his bad cooking to assassinate someone?? tho it was via causing a flour explosion rather than it just being so shitty its poison

ANYWAY IM GOING OFFTOPIC IN MANY WAYS

this mang is gud

also lookit how cute the baby destiny trio look in this style!!!

[creion]

gen z/millennial fma headcanons courtesy of me.

greed:

greed is friends with everyone in this au. everyone. he knows everyone.

no one knows greeds real name. he’s just greed. in this au thomas halbert doesnt have the url greed. greed does. hes not even that greedy and he most definitely blocks everyone who calls him out on it.

he’s mysterious in general. his youtube channel goes between him doing backflips off of things he shouldnt be doing back flips off of to a podcast about [some obscure political thing]? who is he?

greeds probably low key homeless like idk in an au where hes human i can imagine him showing up at one of his friends houses every night with like his one backpack of belongings like “hey im sleeping on ur couch and using ur shower” and no one really questions him because hes charming enough to get away with it yknow

except edward questions him. “ling isnt even here. wyd.” “please. if i dont shower i might die.” “fucking fine I GUESS”

greeds favorite place to go is ed and lings apartment because theyre nice and ling always feeds him and also eds funny and greed appreciates humor

this is just a general greed headcanon but god is he poly :3c i can and will fight about this.

ling:

GAY! TANA! MONGEAU! hes wild and a lot of people hate him even though hes really a giant sweetie. he’s best friends with greed and sometimes ling goes on greeds podcast so they can talk about their exercise regimen

hes dating edward of course. theres not more to this other than theyre dating and they love each other and Would kill for each other. also a lot of people probably dont think they have a deep relationship but im telling you. theyre star crossed lovers. its total romcom bullshit.

ling probably gets paid to go to parties. like thats his job and he makes good money doing it even though he has a masters in psychology. he just. goes to parties. pays off his student loans.

he does a lot of prank videos on youtube. think tgfbro but american and less edgy.

ling probably also models on occasion. like hes pretty enough that he just does it.

he shaves his head at some point or like maybe gets an undercut and no one can look at him for a month because its just weird. lings hair is like his identity.

he gets up to a lot of hijinks with greed. theyre probably a little gay together. edward doesnt care because its 2018 time 2 start normalizing polyamory ok.

ling spends actual money on new clothes for greed but the man always wears the same two outfits and although ling rarely gets angry this gets him a little riled

edward:

his youtube channel is just a mess kind of like greeds except with him its unintentional he just... does what he wants. theres videos of him showing off his physical prowess. like hes small but he WILL kick your fuckin ass. hes probably a black belt and is the physical embodiment of the navy seals rant.

sometimes he does vsauce style videos on youtube and everyone hates when he does it because hes memelord 69 but at the same time hes wicked smart

hes a physicist in this world and im serious it throws anyone who meets him for a loop.

ed gets asked a lot how roy is his dad if hes only 12 years older than him. eds answers are either “he found me and my brother as infants and has mothered us since” or “idk man”

ed accidentally starts a meme. he posts a bunch of pictures of ling either sleeping or passed out and idk the specifics of the meme but he starts a meme and it pains him. he consumes he does not create.

ed likes greed but he doesnt express it. “i dont like you” “[eyeroll] and???? im still eating ur leftovers”

ed actually does kick russel tringham in the head for a skit for one of lings vlogs. ed and russel are best friends even if russel genuinely did try to steal eds identity at some point and may or may not have put ed in debt for a few months

roy: 

hes one of ed’s professors much to eds dismay since roy is, technically, his adoptive father.

he probably argues with ed a lot in the middle of lectures (”hey dumbass thats not how it works” “im literally teaching you what you’re majoring in.” “yeah and im telling you that you’re wrong.”)

he’s like 35 in this au and technically a millennial. ed’s 21.

roy has an instagram and its literally just pictures of hughes and elicia and nina and ed and al

roy and hughes are most definitely a foster family and am i pulling this from my own fic yes i am can you stop me no you cant

hughes:

HES FINE. HES ALIVE.

all of the gen z kids in this au think hes awful bc of all the dad jokes and slightly outdated humor. hes not awful. hes perfect. hes doing his best.

he loves all four of his children.

he and gracia are best friends even if their marriage didnt work out for unknown reasons. they along with roy are GOOD PARENTS to elicia. you can pry this from my cold dead hands. canon can suck my chode.

lust:

shes not like greed she doesnt try to be mysterious. shes probably a beauty guru (SolarisCosmetics) and does a lot of tutorials like “Low Commitment Goth Makeup Tutorial”

shes unintentionally mysterious because for her first like 50 videos or so theres no commentary its just subtitles

her first video with commentary is like “i... apologize. i was not intending to be so... mysterious.” and shes actually very sweet and nice and you can fight me on this ok

greed is her adoptive brother and greed makes her bleep out his name and blur her mouth whenever she calls him by his name bc he likes to lurk in the background of her videos because hes an asshole

winry:

shes a mechanic in this au and i mean shes a mechanic in canon but she prob specializes in like. idk. cars. this is a headcanon list im not looking up specifics of mechanics point is she can rebuild an engine in an afternoon and everyone in this au is in love with her

BIG LESBIAN

she probably tries getting ed to go on double dates (him and ling with her and lan fan) but every single time he shoots her down and its to the point shes almost convinced that hes not even dating ling in the first place

greed is probably her biggest client. no one knows how he does it but his car is constantly breaking and winry is the only mechanic in his general vicinity who knows how to do her job worth a shit and also her repair shop has cool music and he probably finds excuses just to chill for the music

“[greed] please. if your fat ass is going to be taking up counter space AT LEAST help clean up” “excuse you my ass is FIRM AND PERKY.”

its probably a joke among ed’s following that winry DOES NOT put up with his shit and when winry gets asked out it shes just like “hes an asshole why the fuck do you think im gonna let him walk around all half cocked like that”

riza:

i like to think shes in the military in this au too. not like military military but maybe air force idk. imagine pilot riza. wow.

shes not on active duty or w/e but you KNOW shes in a foreign country going to college paid for by the government.

everyone in this au is at least bi and riza is no exception. she is dating olivier armstrong. they are in love u can pry this from my cold dead hands you fucking gremlins

edward is probably platonically in love with her. like when he gets to see her (which isnt often) he has to occasionally stop, put a hand on her shoulder, do the ‘boi’ hand (idk how else to describe it) and say, “i love you dont ever change” “thank you, edward.” “[hug]”

envy: 

a troll. like you know those troll blogs that are pretending to be otherkin or some really obscure gender w neopronouns (u do u but we all kno theres trolls). envy has one of those blogs.

envy is actually nonbinary irl but theyre very critical of “special snowflakes” (again u do u these headcanons dont necessarily reflect my opinions and as long as u aint hurting no one i support u) and they probably cyberbully ppl

envy is garbage in this fic

“god i hate you” “actually eat my ass, greed”

see greed is the opposite of ed w riza. he looks at envy and occasionally has to say “i fucking hate you”

theyre secrety buds but like... they annoy the shit out of each other. u kno they do.

ENVY STARTS A LOT OF DISCOURSE. THEY PROBABLY START A LOT OF HOMESTUCK DISCOURSE. GOD. here i am in 2018 writing about envy starting fucking homestuck discourse. its probably like davekat discourse too tbh

i know im forgetting alphonse, may/mei (i spell it mei), and lan fan but its like 4:19 am 

please send me asks if u have any feedback. or reply to this post. its up to u. i trust u to make the right decision. (there is no reight decision and honestly i need to go to bed)

[groundramon]

Cartoon asks: ALL OF THEM

THANK YOU SO MUCH OMFG

also i totally didnt fill all these out in advance and twiddle my thumbs in anticipation, hoping someone would send me this ask, nope not at all                 

1. A cartoon you remember that nobody else does.Back at the Barnyard.  That fucking show…oh my god

2. A cartoon you like but nobody else seems to.Well technically I remember liking Back at the Barnyard but I haven’t watched that show since I was like 8 or 9 so idk if I’d like it now akjsfkfkgjh I kinda doubt it now because my bullshit-tolerance-meter for television has significantly shortened.  Uhhh the only other cartoons I can think of that I liked that don’t seem to be liked by a lot of people are like…the DreamWorks cartoons (when they were on Nickelodeon and CN that is, I don’t have Netflix rip) and the Lego cartoons (except Ninjago because apparently that has a fandom?? what??) like I thought they were okay at the time at least.  (Also I guess the HTTYD cartoon wasnt hated, because it was fucking HTTYD, but //shrug)

3. A cartoon you don’t like but everybody else seems to. ADVENTURE TIME and like everything on Cartoon Network except Steven Universe and We Bare Bears honestly.  Like Adventure Time isn’t my cup of tea but I’m like “alright, some of those plots actually seem kind of interesting, I guess I can see where people are coming from” but like… shit like Clarence and Uncle Grandpa??  I’m all for people having different opinions but I don’t know how you can even get past the art style, let alone the writing style and some of the voice acting ;-; you are a stronger person than I’ll ever be if you can get past that lmao

4. A cartoon you wish would be forgotten.Uhhh pretty much everything on Nickelodeon from 2010-2014 (besides the dreamworks cartoons basically) and the shit reboots that CN’s been pumping out (namely TTG and the PPG reboot, but the Ben 10 reboot looks REALLY lazy, so at least it doesn’t annoy me [or I haven’t seen anything from it that annoys me] but…)

5. The worst cartoon you’ve ever seen, and why?Fanboy and Chum Chum, as far as cartoons I’ve actually watched go (because hoo boy, worse cartoons exist out there).  Everything about that cartoon is…wrong and broken.  It has one style of humor and that’s toilet/gross out humor.  The “straight man” so to speak, basically an emo teen version of Squidward, is actually…not Squidward in-show??  Like in the intro he’s very clearly set out to be a grouch who hates the main characters, but in the show he’s just…an introvert that gets wrapped into their plans and only snaps at them when they actually hurt him.  The protagonists are annoying as fuck and are psychopaths that deserve to be locked up in a mental institution.  It’s not funny.  The voice acting is annoying as hell.  And the animation is disgusting.  I didn’t know it was even possible to make 3d animation look this rendered yet still look so bad, but apparently it is.  Like they took extra effort into making the show look WORSE.  I will say that its impressive that they managed to get such tooney designs to exist in a 3d space, but that doesn’t do you shit good when the animation is gross.

6. The worst moment you’ve ever seen happen in a cartoon.Directly, as in I was watching the show?  Something in Fanboy and Chum Chum.  Indirectly, as in I watched a review where they showed the scene or I read about it?  Something in Family Guy, or the self-insert in the PPG reboot.  Yeah there’s a self-insert in the PPG reboot.  Every time I think it cant get worse…it does.

7. The worst thing you’ve ever seen happen to a cartoon that ruined it.I was really neutral on Teen Titans Go (some of the jokes made me laugh but others were really cringey, but it was at least funny some of the time and the art didn’t hurt me as much as other shows on CN, so whatever) but then I found out that they’ve actively attacked their critics in-show and have generally responded very poorly to criticism and…asdf.  Like its one thing to stay quiet, it’s another thing to embrace it and say “yeah we know its stupid, but it made us laugh!” (which they did do, kinda), but it’s another thing to spit in the face of everyone who has a problem with it (and not even address their criticisms, like they act like they did but?? no they fucking didn’t??).  Like the problem I have with the show is not that it’s stupid.  The problem is that the writers say “yeah, it’s for kids, so it should be stupid” (its not even “well it made us laugh” from what I remember), the problem is that the writers never watched the original show and completely ruined the legacy of a show that actually took itself seriously, the problem is that the writers are so fucking high on their horses that they respond to the haters IN-SHOW and LAUGH AT THEM.  My problem is not with the show itself, my problem is with the culture it embodies.  It embodies the worst of Hollywood entitlement, cheap shithole cashcow shows, cheap reboots that disappoint fans of the original, “stupid because its for kids” cartoons, and basically the worst Hollywood has to offer.

8. A cancelled/forgotten cartoon you would bring back to television.Uhh if nothing happens with Infinity Train then that, but besides that…another series of Avatar (like following a new avatar) would be fucking great but I don’t want to put the creators through the hell that is Nickelodeon lmao.  I also thought Harvey Beaks looked nice, like I never watched it but it looked okay, so I’d be okay with bringing that back too if it made the creator happier (honestly the poor creator���nickelodeon treated him really badly too)

9. An animated character you remember but nobody else seems to.Pete from Steven Universe lmao like where did he goJoking aside (SU is too relevant to count for this) uhHHH fuck I guess the characters in the Monsters vs Aliens cartoon? nobody remembers that movie but the show kinda cemented the characters in my mind (I would’ve said back at the barnyard but honestly I don’t remember the characters until you show them to me, besides like the main cow guy, whoops)

10. An animated character you hate the most, and why?Onion annoys me.  Like…he’s that kind of character that has no rhyme or reason behind what he does.  He’s the kind of character whose entire personality just relies on the kind of Adventure Time-esque humor that I just don’t get or enjoy.  The kind of humor that just creeps or grosses me out or bores me instead of making me burst out laughing.  The kind of humor that’s physical-based, but just too slow and poorly paced to be funny like slapstick.  I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s exactly how Onion seems to me and that’s why I dislike Onion.  In Doug Out, for example, Onion has no gross out or creep out jokes, and I don’t mind him as much.  Like he’s not a GOOD character, he still doesn’t bother insisting that there’s something else out there when the others disagree with him, but at least he isn’t scaring me.  OH AND MARCUS FROM DIGIMON DATA SQUAD I immediately thought Onion because he’s a cartoon character, but since this is just for animation in general…aksdhfgfkj i dont know why I hate Marcus so much, I dont want to hate Marcus so much, but I do.  His response to everything is just to punch everything and he’s so entitled and annoying and hotheaded and aAAARG HES JUST INFURIATING, I DIDNT THINK IT WAS POSSIBLE TO BE THIS MAD OVER A CHARACTER THAT ISNT FUNDAMENTALLY BROKEN BUT HERE I AM

11. A non-animated property you would like to see as a cartoonidk if this counts because it’d have to be an anime probably but FOSSIL FIGHTERS CHAMPIONS!!! LITERALLY I WOULD CRY IF THIS WAS MADE INTO A MANGA OR ANIME PLEASE @ NINTENDO MY FAMILY IS STARVING but seriously can you imagine like….you could have a mute main character (its implied that the protagonist talks a few times but they could be selectively mute or just mime and the dialogue could be rearranged appropriately) and if you choose the female protagonist you could make her gay for Pauleen??? Like I refuse to accept the male protagonist as the “canon” main character bc I want gay sorry.  BUT LIKE!!!  You wouldn’t have to write that much bc its already written!! and its really fucking ridiculous and would probably appeal to like…TTG-loving kids because its so silly asdf BUT ITS ALSO GOOD, IT HAS HEART, PLEASE THIS IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA like its not a good idea for manga/anime because it IS kinda ridiculous and childish but?? it would fit so well as a western cartoon???  Hey Nintendo can you please give me a license to produce this because I swear to god I would if I could

12. A trope or trend in animation that you dislike.Well there are a lot but they aren’t exclusive to animation…?  "Blonde popular bitch" and “damsel in distress” have been two of my personal most-hated for all my life because of who I am/was, but there are others I dislike too.  I also really hate the kinda…style that Adventure Time set up in cartoons.  Like I guess AT isn’t really responsible for ugly-looking cartoons and the type of humor that I dislike, because looking at CN before it aired there were already shows like that (Chowder, Flapjack…) but I think AT really popularized them and :/ it also reworked the same concepts in Chowder and Flapjack and people were like “WOWEE CARTOON RENAISSANCE !!!” and I just kinda….idk.  I have a lot of personal baggage against AT lmao sorry AT fans, like I don’t even hate the show and not all of its effects were bad (not in the slightest) but like TTG I have issues with some of the things it popularized.

13. A currently airing cartoon that you know is going to be forgotten about in the future.Hmm, We Bare Bears maybe, or like Mighty Magiswords.  Like CN plasters Mighty Magiswords everywhere but nobody gives a shit about that show so I feel like its only a matter of time before it disappears yknow?? but maybe im wrong.  WBB doesn’t get the attention it deserves so yeah.  Also maybe that Bunsun is a Beast cartoon over on Nickelodeon? im not sure man

14. The best episode of a cartoon you really like.The Southern Raiders (that’s only one of my favorites tho, like?? The Puppetmaster is tied for first in that season, and that’s just in that season, not including the other two seasons of ATLA)

15. The worst episode of a cartoon you really like.Rocknaldo or any episode centering around Onion, e u c k

16. A cartoon you feel deserves more recognition than it gets.Uhhhhh fuck everything I watch is mainstream cries WBB isn’t that popular and like its a cute, perfectly fine show, but its not like…revolutionary

17. A cartoon you feel deserves less recognition than what it gets.ADVENTURE TIME, also s/o to Regular Show, Clarence, Uncle Grandpa…like those last two aren’t even universally liked but sorry I still think they get too much praise asdf

18. The worst idea you can think of for an animated series.It already exists and its called One Ounce Mouse, but honestly adult cartoons in general are…a bad idea.  Like if you’re just gonna use your adult rating to offend people instead of using it to be insightful or using it to be ACTUALLY FUNNY, what the fuck are you doing with your life?  You should be fired tbqh

19. At what point did you realize a cartoon, any cartoon was starting to get bad?I can’t remember when I realized SpongeBob was starting to get bad, but it was sometime around 2010 or so.  I remember getting really sick of the show when it went to HD/fullscreen because for some reason, all the new character designs got…significantly worse??  Like the season premiere of that season (cant remember which season it was, don’t care to look it up) had three new characters and they all looked…so fucking ugly?  It was really hard to look at?  Like seriously they looked like something out of Sanjay and Craig, not SpongeBob.  Even the main character designs just…looked too smooth and rounded and not good to me.  It reminds me of like Family Guy and i dont like that overly smooth, “we have too much money so we blew it on extra in-between frames instead of good-looking art” style.  I think the final breaking point for me was Squid Baby and the episode where Gary got overly attached to a ball, and realizing that after an episode that actually was kinda legitimately nice (it was the one about Plankton getting a pet) they were never going to bring up Plankton’s pet again and ugh.  Like lack of continuity is nothing new but I really wish he had kept the pet, it was the best thing to happen to the show in literal years.  Like seriously that episode was the best new episode in years, it was legitimately cute even though I had a beef with some of the character designs (as I always did in that season)

20. An experience with a cartoon you thought you were going to like but turned you away from it.I tried watching Bee and Puppycat the other day and it really….put me off….because it had more of that Adventure Time style humor and I legitimately thought it interfered with how the plot should’ve progressed.  Like Bee was way too okay with everything and we didn’t get any explanation for anything because instead she just made weird noises and bit a monster’s tongue off.  I’m still gonna watch the other episodes for the heck of it, so maybe I’ll change my mind, but eh

21. Something you would like to see more than anything in a cartoon.It already exists and it’s called Avatar: The Last Airbender + The Legend of Korra

22. What do you feel makes a cartoon forgettable?That’s….actually a really good question.  Because like, I would’ve forgotten about Adventure Time years ago if it hadn’t been drilled into my head that everyone else thought it was the best thing ever and I didn’t.  I might be off my SU high by now if I didn’t keep reblogging/reading SU-related stuff on tumblr lol.  I guess blandness is what makes your cartoon forgettable.  If its not so bad that it’s funny/everyone needs to insult it, but its not good enough that it gets good reviews, then there’s just…no place for your cartoon, especially if its not profitable so it gets cancelled quickly.