#about our system
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elliott-the-creature · 3 months ago
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making a post with some info about my headmates/facets and our system in general! it’ll be good to have while we’re processing our syscovery, and it’ll definitely be updated when new things are discovered. (anything in blue text is new info added after the original upload)
we are a median specutien proxy system! we will use the term system, but we also use collective, dorm, and chat to refer to us. we don’t have an official system name for all of us, but that’ll be worked out soon. our origin/reasoning for being plural is not quite clear yet, but we’re fairly sure it’s not traumagenic. pretty much all of our members are alterhuman/nonhuman in some way, and we prefer to be referred to as nonhuman or something along those lines. we are firmly of the stance that all systems are valid (no matter the origin or presentation), and anti endos, anti tulpas, anti non-traumagenic systems, sysmeds, and exclusionists will NOT BE TOLERATED WHATSOEVER!!!
here is some info about each headmate/facet! it’ll include names, pronouns, roles (although it won’t always be clear what their roles are or they won’t even have a role), and general facts and information about each one.
Katie, aka K, is me! I’m the host and core of this collective, and the one that my family, friends, followers, and mutuals know about the most/solely. you know my pronouns and stuff about me, so there’s no real need to rehash all that (but if you don’t know, then just click here for my pronoun page).
Maple is probably the oldest headmate of ours, and is most likely a tulpa-born imaginary friend resulting from loneliness and a need for a more structured part of ourself during a rough part of our life. she uses she/he/they/it, but likes he and they the most. he seems to look like me, except with shorter, more masc-looking hair and a broader body. sometimes they’ll take the form of a bird that looks similar to a treepie or a cinnamon coloured fox. she’s very levelheaded and reasonable, and is the most realistic and down-to-earth of all of us. this often results in him being the one to remind us to eat, drink, go to bed, and stay on track.
Princess is a brown and white english bulldog puppy, and is our resident little. she uses she/he pronouns, and is a big ball of happy-go-lucky energy. she loves anything to do with age/pet regression/dreaming, and is just a very childishly naive and sweet puppy. he’s also quite sensitive to criticism and arguments, and just wants everyone to be happy and get along together. her favourite colours are red, pink, and cyan, and he often dawns a pink collar with a red bow.
Red is our anger holder and protector. she’s a red feathered dragon with a long tufted tail and large wings. ae likes any names associated with the colour red (such as scarlet, carnelian, ruby, mahogany, etc), but we just use the name red to refer to her most often. she uses she/ae pronouns, and gives off femme fatal vibes in a way. ae’s the one who gets frustrated and upset the easiest, and is in a constant state of either furiously pacing or slumped in a corner with her wings drawn in. she’s fiercely protective and loyal to both our collective and my family and friends. I most often see aer with Finley or Something (both other facets that I’ll talk about later).
Speaking of, we have Fin (short for Finley)! he’s our very anxious cautious jittery ball of fluff, and uses he/him pronouns (although he’ll sometimes use no pronouns or his name instead of pronouns). he looks like those long cat plushies (specifically a grey and white tabby), except if it was actually a real live cat. if you haven’t caught on, Fin likes using a lot of parentheses when speaking, because there’s always more information and intent that isn’t always known, and Fin just prefers to give out all of the information to avoid misunderstanding. he’s the one who is always running around wailing “what if this? what if that? do they really mean it? what if they’re actually lying or something?”, and needs a lot of reassurance about his fears and anxieties.
Ty (short for Tyler (we have NO IDEA why he chose that name btw; it isn’t my favourite name, but we roll with it)) is a robot who uses it/its, but also doesn’t mind any other pronoun (EXCEPT for she/her or any really fem sounding pronouns). we can’t really tell if it’s a protogen or some kind of robot with a tv/monitor for a face (it flip flops in my head when I imagine what it looks like), but it doesn’t mind being referred to or envisioned as either. he’s super into any kind of information, and is always seeking out new things to learn. this often results in him making me ask unintentionally intrusive or rude sounding questions in an attempt to learn more about someone or something, which gets us in some trouble or earns some weird looks (oops!).
Cinnabar is an odd part of ourself, as I (the host) am not quite sure on whether thon’s a fictive or just a kintype of myself. anyways, we’ll make an info page on thing just in case it ends up being the former. Cinnabar is our first and only (for now) fictive, and is a red bokoblin from the BOTW/TOTK era of TLoZ. Thing uses thon/thing pronouns, and is a very silly wild creature. Cinnabar may be a misanthrope, but thing may just not really like humans due to thon being constantly bullied by humans when thon was a human. thing was willingly transformed into a bokoblin (although thing mostly retained the mindset of a human) by the cursed statue residing near hateno village around 40~ years after the calamity that destroyed hyrule in BOTW. Cinnabar absolutely adores all types of animals, and is eager to learn all about the natural world (thing particularly loves horses, birds, and dogs the most). thon also loves getting into mischief, and is the one always wanting to hear gossip or fun stories from everyone.
Finally, we get to our last facet (as of the making of this post; there may be more in the future). This one is the most elusive and confusing one, so we don’t have a lot of useful information. this thing is Something, and it uses it/thon. yes, it’s name is Something (and it has to be capitalized, it just feels right and makes it satisfied), because that’s really the only thing that describes it. what is it? well, it’s Something. it takes the form of a vaguely humanoid shadowy void thing (sometimes we see it with one singular eye or a mouth (never both at the same time though, which is a little creepy)), but is also capable of shapeshifting into other forms (although they will always be shadowy and not always clear). Something is a very negative facet of ours, and is the one who is always muttering intrusive/invasive thoughts to me. when I imagine Something, it feels as if I’m sinking into a vat of tar; my breathing gets shallower, my brain sometimes gets fuzzy or preoccupied with solely thinking about Something, and I lose track of what I’m supposed to be doing or saying or even thinking (it’s really weird tbh).
well, now we’re finished with talking about our facets! I’ll add a list of emoji signoffs for each one, as we all really love signoffs and love expressing ourselves with fun symbols :)
Katie/K: 🩷/🐕
Maple: 🍁/🪶
Princess: 🐶/🎀
Red: 🐦‍🔥/🏔️
Fin/Finley:🧣/🐾
Ty/Tyler: 📺/📚
Cinnabar: 🐷/🌎
Something: 🌚/♠️
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aetherial-boy · 9 months ago
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our system’s hosts (and cohost) are a hypersexual clown thing (Fizz), a dramatic ass lesbian (Rina), and an unstable blonde twink (Theo), and I think that’s a very fun mix
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schadenfreudich · 2 years ago
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Hey, guess what I decided to do after basically fully switching for the first time? (Franz is still kind of in fronting space but not in control of the body)
I decided to clean. I am doing the dishes.
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ratbastarddotfuck · 11 days ago
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if you're a white person taking pleasure in the idea that Trump voters of colour are experiencing racist violence from white trumpers because "they got what's coming to them" I don't think you're anti-racist at all, I think you were just waiting for an acceptable target, and you're also fucking weird.
Bad Person Deserves Punishment For Their Sins give me a fucking break and get yourself out of the fucking catholic church. you're all prison abolitionists until you see someone you don't like.
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witheredbonnie · 3 months ago
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freshly reassigned to daycare!
❌ scott cawthon supporters dni ⚠️ not ship
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madeleinefjall · 1 year ago
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brainrot sketch
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fairuzfan · 1 year ago
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One thing I've learned as I've progressed in my archival studies is that there is evidence for everything. There are records for everything.
The things Palestinians have been documenting—even Israelis themselves documenting both within their "civilian" population and their governmental records—portray a concentrated effort to erase every trace of the Palestinian people. This (October of 2023) is no different—there are probably internal documents specifying how to communicate to the press while explicitly dehumanizing the Palestinians. Internal documents that detail best mutilation practices to inflict of the people of Gaza to break their will to live.
For supporters of Israel: nothing you see is uncalculated. Recognize that. Palestinians have grown up for 75+ years KNOWING that propaganda is so easily disseminated. Palestinians who received no formal education (which is not to say such a thing is necessary—this just speaks to the innate knowledge of the Palestinian people) understand the way in which the machine of imperialism works in an intimate and personal manner. So I'd like to invite you to consider: who is proclaiming support and for whom? What would they gain? Why is the United States, a well documented imperial core of the modern war, so vehemently supportive of Israel? Why would they do such a thing given their extensive history of "US first" within their policy decisions?
Why would the British government—the source of many colonial struggles—wish to support a regime with already one of the strongest, most powerful armies in the world? Why does the Israeli government need aid when they claim to be so well off compared to their Arab neighbors?
Propaganda is something so embedded in the everyday life of Europeans and USAmericans that they (primarily white individuals) often do not think to examine the core logic of the way their government works. To reiterate: nothing is accidental and everything is calculated. There ARE records for these events and tactics—they just won't release them yet.
It is imperative that you understand the political implications of how this will affect the United States and why they have a vested interest in such matters, considering their historic distance from other atrocities unless personal involvement occurred.
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elliott-the-creature · 2 months ago
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thought I’d make a post about my plurality that’s more comprehensive (in terms of our origins and presentation) and less cluttered with our headmates and random stuff like that. (warning: this will still be a pretty long post (also anything marked in blue is stuff added after the original upload))
we use a mix of singular and plural words to describe us (I/me/my versus we/us/our), and aren’t super picky about which you choose to use. we’re pretty much all nonhuman in some way, so please call us things like creatures, critters, beings, folks, etc (as opposed to humans (saying person/people is fine though)). in terms of what words you can use for us, you can just say system, collective, plural, chat, friends, group, or roommates. we all collectively like they/them, and you can just use the host’s name when talking to us. we also don’t identify at all with the body we are currently inhabiting, so we will sometimes say “the/this body/the/this body’s ___” instead of “my body/my ___”.
we weren’t exactly sure of our origins in the beginning (as we were still learning about our plurality and constantly thought we were faking or not quite legit), but we’ve found some terms that match our origins pretty well! we’re mixed origin nontraumagenic, specifically endogenic and cathartigenic. we also think that our headmates were formed through me giving a name and vibe to different personalities, interests, or identities of mine (so they’re basically the personification of different parts of me)—and then woops, they gained sentience (if there’s a specific word for that, then feel free to tell us).
in terms of presentation, we’re a proxy/specutien (also blurian) systemflux system that experiences frequent moments of some/all of my headmates going “offline” as I call it (basically where I lose contact with them or they go dormant for a period of time). at times, I can’t contact any of my headmates (this usually comes from me being really stressed or preoccupied with something), but these moments don’t last for long. we don’t experience full on switches (due to us being a specutien system), but we do experience co-fronting and blurring. our collective is also really weird because we don’t have a defined headspace (or any kind of shared space where we all hang out and interact for that matter), and everyone sounds like me (I can usually tell who’s who based on their speech patterns or their vibe though).
in terms of a metaphor, think of some kind of streaming site (like twitch). there’s a streamer doing something live (for us, we most often like comparing our life to a video game, so just pretend the streamer is playing a video game of sorts), and there are people who like watching them. there are some viewers who are diehard fans of this person, so they’re constantly watching their content and interacting with the streamer. on the other paw, there’s some people who watch the stream but don’t choose to chat. or sometimes, they’ll be watching the stream, but they have to leave and don’t end up coming back for a while. these viewers would be my headmates. they can interact with the streamer (aka me, the host), but they can’t control the game the streamer is playing (although they can influence what the streamer chooses to do). but sometimes, the streamer has a particularly slow day, and nobody shows up to the stream. this is how I feel sometimes when I can’t sense any of my headmates (which makes me feel like a singlet at times).
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knifearo · 7 months ago
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this year my challenge for everyone is to unlearn the association between love and morality. love is not something that is inherently morally good, and the absence of love is not something that is inherently bad. sex without love isn't morally bankrupt, it's just an action. people without love aren't less kind or less good, they're just people. when we can get past this false (and often unnoticed) dichotomy of good love/evil lovelessness then i think we are going to be able to take leaps and bounds in sex positivity, aro advocacy, certain discussions of mental health...
#and also. not the direct focus. but love doesn't make things good. you can be in love and do terrible terrible things.#people do bad things in the name of love and in despite of love all the time.#but!! imagine a world where people could exist as people and not be demonized.#sex positivity means being cool about All sex. reexamine your internal systems of moral judgement.#this goes for sex workers. for aroallo people. especially aroallo men. for aro people in general who might enjoy sex.#and frankly i think it can easily bleed into discussions about mental health disorders around 'not feeling' certain things#especially demonizing ppl who don't feel as much empathy. i think there's definitely a correlation between that and the emphasis on love.#our support needs to go out to Everybody and i think these things are all structured together in one way or another!!#it might not be immediately obvious but when i tell you it all leads back to amatonormativity..... little bit wild.... large bit wild....#anyway. horror movie psychopath 'oh he can't feel emotions or love' damn alright. well. let's take a closer look at that.#silly that there's an association between lack of love and Murdering. feel like that might affect some stuff.#love is just an emotion/a feeling it doesn't mean anything about you one way or another#same with empathy. you can feel it all you want but it doesn't inherently change the actions you choose to take#anyway. thesis statement. there is a socially constructed link between love and morality. unlearn that.#kiss kiss (<— lovelessly)#aromantic#aromanticism#arospec#talking#aroace#aspec#sex positivity
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schadenfreudich · 2 years ago
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After putting on labcoats (in headspace), only referring to each other as "Herr [name]" while still using "du", we first just poked the hole with sticks. Which did absolutely nothing, because it is basically just a slide.
Then we slid down the very normal slide, and arrived in a place that seems to just be very soft mattresses and pillows and no one knows this place existed. Maybe it didn't exist before and only started existing because Herr Tobias made a hole to jump into.
There is also no one in here other than Herr Tobias, Herr Wilhelm and me, which means we didn't just land in someone's space. Which is good, because while the space is soft, that doesn't mean whoever could have been here would be as soft.
So as expected, it is a very normal space in headspace, but acting like we're discovering things is funnier. Also Herr Wilhelm made sure we don't do anything overly stupid.
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nibbelraz · 7 days ago
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Let's make some Coffee and rant about novels together with my submission for the 2024 @mxtxfoodzine!
Definitely believe these two would drink Coffee all night to talk, edit, and review airplane bros writing
You can find the recipe and other beautiful works for free here!
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 6 months ago
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A fierce duel commences!
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inkskinned · 1 year ago
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you were raised in comparison.
it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.
you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.
you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.
what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.
it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.
you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.
you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?
a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.
you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.
it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.
something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.
#writeblr#warm up#my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky#i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles#yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help#for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT#and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen#than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say#''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help#i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.''#bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't#actually offer fair support to everyone#we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less.#and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help#bc i DID have it better than other people#and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help.#we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn#instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself
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im-totally-not-an-alien-2 · 11 months ago
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Danny was...unnerved, which is unusual considering his upbringing as the child of mad scientists obsessed with the undead.
It had been a few weeks since he had moved into Wayne manor after a conflict between batman and his parents, which led to his home and his friends and family being blown up in a lab malfunction. Most of Amity Park was destroyed in the blasts, including Vlad and his mansion.
Usually Danny would be more suspicious of super rich dudes, but the sorrow in Bruce Wayne's eyes as he pleaded to let Danny take him in was genuine and well, Danny didn't exactly have anywhere else to go. Plus, Bruce looked weirdly guilty when danny told him none of this was his fault, which was weird. Jazz was in college and always looked exhausted on video calls, so he didn't want to bother her there.
The part that bothered him most wasn't that there was anything dangerous or bad happening, but rather the opposite.
Danny was used to dodging his home security system when it randomly targeted him. He was used to ghosts popping up out of nowhere to suckerpunch him. He was used to danger.
And now that there was none, he was jumping at shadows.
Things got better when he met Psaro. He was in the process of being either mugged or kidnapped, he wasn't sure, when this angry goth teen with silver hair and ruby eyes literally came in swinging a steel chair. After the beat down and subsequent rescue, Danny offered to buy them some food. Psaro tried to reject the offer until his stomach suddenly growled, making him blush, and Danny dragged the older goth teen to a restaurant.
They've been best friends since. Psaro later introduced him to his friends Rose and Toilen, explaining that they weren't from this world and that Rose was an elf and Toilen was a Teran from a planet called Terrestria. Danny assumed that Psaro was an elf like Rose due to them both having long pointed ears and mostly focused on Toilen thanks to the "other planet" bit.
Meanwhile, the bats have been keeping an eye out on Danny (aka stalking him) and his new, obviously magical friends.
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putting my prediction on record now that the coming decade is going to see the rise of viral-marketed fancy at-home water filtration systems, driving and driven by a drastic reduction in the quality of U.S. tap water (given that we are in a 'replacement era' where our current infrastructure is reaching the end of its lifespan--but isn't being replaced). also guessing that by the 2030s access to drinkable tap water will be a mainstream class issue, with low-income & unstably housed people increasingly forced to rely on expensive bottled water when they can't afford the up-front cost of at-home filtration--and with this being portrayed in media as a "moral failing" and short-sighted "choice," rather than a basic failure of our political & economic systems. really hope i'm just being alarmist, but plenty of this already happens in other countries, and the U.S. is in a state of decline, so. here's praying this post ages into irrelevance. timestamped April 2023
#apollo don't fucking touch this one#serious post#not a shitpost#hope i forget about this post and have no reason to ever look back on it one day#fyi i'm aware that access to potable water is already a major issue in parts of the U.S. yes i know flint michigan exists#i'm saying that this issue is going to GROW unless local & federal governments work together to fix it.#so it's a matter of if we trust them to fix it. And well--do you?#what are the chances the government just denies there's a problem until the water actually turns brown#at which point it's already been common knowledge for years and people have just become resigned and that's our new normal#i'm mean come on. how many of us already believe that we're being exposed to dangerous pollutants we don't know about and can't avoid#like that's pretty much just part of being a modern consumer. accepting that companies will happily endanger your life for a few pennies#and the most you'll get is like a $50 gift card as part of a class action rebate 20 years down the line#probably the history books will look back on Flint as a warning and a harbinger that went ignored#luxury condos will advertise their built-in top-of-the-line filtration systems--live here and you can drink water straight from your tap!#watch the elite professional class putting $700 dyson water filtration systems on their wedding registry#while the rest of us figure out how to fit water delivery into our grocery budget while putting 90% of our paycheck towards rent#also eggs are $15
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dolleriumfluffle · 7 months ago
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I just desperately want more recognition of traumagenic experiences that lie outside of the usual "childhood abuse" assumption that everyone forces on that label. what about trauma from bullying? what about trauma from undiagnosed illnesses? what about trauma from queer experiences like transphobia? what about trauma from medical experiences like surgeries, hospitalizations, psych wards, and other areas where the medical field failed you? what about trauma from eating disorders? what about trauma from racism?
there are so many experiences that can fall under traumagenic, but are yet swept under a rug in favor of a strict, stereotypical narrative that's easier to comprehend. I think we as a community need to make an active effort to expand our understanding of traumagenic, especially where it may overlap with experiences traditionally considered endogenic, and understand that trauma can come in so many different forms. so often people are shunned for trying to create roles and labels that describe their specific traumagenic experiences, and I don't understand why. there can be no progress towards acceptance for all systems if we don't accept that traumagenic is an umbrella label too.
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