#physical abuse mention

[system-of-a-feather]

For realsie though, I really wish I could look at the people who are diagnosed with DID and get upset at people "making it look like a fun disorder to have" with some level of sympathy or empathy, but I really honestly think that rhetoric is really honestly destructive as a means for self soothing and one I really just can't stand personally.

Like this disorder sucks ass and the reason it happened sucks ass and recovering with it sucks ass, but I don't see that rhetoric as any better than stating that "anyone who went through that could NEVER recover or live happy".

And I get where that comes from, I do, but at a certain point in trauma processing, stabilization and recovery, things start to click that trauma is over and PTSD inherently is referencing an event that has already passed. Trauma sucks. Severe chronic trauma SUCKS, but that's the past and - while its a LOT more difficult than it is to just say - that past REALLY doesn't have to define the present even a quarter as much as trauma makes it feel.

Of course, I understand and get those who feel like DID is horrible and a hell disorder - I 10000% understand that and its a valid feeling / opinion / statement to make, but to claim that it is impossible to have fun, be happy, and make casual content and just genuinely make the best out of a shit situation; or to claim that anyone with DID would be totally dysfunctional and miserable and unable to do XYZ - it's just... really self depricating and a huge negative self fulfilling prophecy don't you think? Also not to mention a LOT of projecting?

Other people don't deserve you forcing your self loathing and pain onto them. You are allowed to hate your situation, you are allowed to hate your disorder, you are allowed to feel and think and experience your experiences however you want, but a line is drawn when it comes to displacing that hatred, those feelings, those thoughts, and those experiences onto others and demand that they should meet your standards of misery.

I apologize, but I'm not going to pretend like DID stresses me out when I'm really not stressed by it anymore because most of our regular parts are actually decently connected and coordinated with one another. I'm not scared of them and they aren't scared of me. I'm not fighting them and they aren't fighting me. We got trauma but we also got, ya know, a life going and the trauma gets less and less prevalent and intrusive as time goes on so, life's honestly pretty lit and I really love to see other systems heading in that direction.

I think everyone should aim to be happy and at peace with their disorder. I don't understand, empathize, or support the idea that someone had to meet a standard of misery to be "real".

(TW: suicidal ideation and physical abuse mention)

If I take medication that makes it so I don't scrub my hands raw and have panic attacks over having not eaten a salad "recently" thus meaning I am going to rot from the inside out and die, does that mean I am faking having OCD? If I take medication and improve my life so that I only pluck my hair once a month, is my Trichitillomania faked? If I stop having suicidal ideation, does that mean I was faking being suicidal the whole time? If I stop having bruises, does that mean I faked being beaten as a kid?

(TW cleared)

Recovery and peace should and does not ever invalidate the truth of the pain suffered and the struggle overcome. Happiness and joy can co-exist with the truth of hurt, pain and suffering.

Trying to hold the two as mutually exclusive is a huge part of why a lot of people get stuck being miserable. If misery is vital for honoring your pain as real, it is very hard to let that go and let yourself be happy again, because if you are happy, what will attest to give your pain justice? But pain, justice, misery, and happiness - they can all co-exist and honestly, that's a really important thing to learn and understand in my healing journey as it really opens up doors to letting trauma go.

Your pain doesn't define your truth.

Your truth is your truth.

It will stay true regardless of if the pain persists or leaves.

[lookwhatyoudidithasanxiety]

Believe it or not, Eclipse actually did genuinely care for Lunar. Eclipse just had no idea outside of villainous acts and pain to actually /show/ that he did. It was all he knew.

Like...OK this maybe a bad comparison BUT it's like a kid that came from an abusive family but has never known anything outside of that. It doesn't excuse anything that Eclipse did to Lunar but Eclipse literally didn't know better because all of what he "knew" about love and care wasn't really that.

Sun: I don't know about that, but the point still stands that he wasn't acting without thought. Not that we should compare traumas! But-

//Solar holds his hands as flat as he can, staring down at them. They still tremble and shake despite him holding them as flat and still as possible. There appear to be old cracks that have been soldered closed, as well as smaller ones.//

Solar: I can't hold 'em any more still than this right now. I wear the gloves ta help with that, an' so I don't drop everythin' I touch. Not ta mention- *pauses* Do ya promise not ta tell the others? I'm not ready for 'em all ta know yet.

Sun: I promise. I'm listening.

Solar: These're all from Moon. He did some of the mendin', but I did most of it 'cause he didn't do it right. It was just another way fer 'im ta hurt me.

Sun: How? How did he do it?

Solar: Hammers, mostly.

[mk-writes-stuff]

OC Questionnaire Game

Rules: answer the questions as your OCs, then come up with some new questions for the next people

Thank you @sunset-a-story for the tag! CW for mentions of physical abuse in the last question.

What do you do when you can’t sleep?

Belladonna: “I simply try to make myself. If I’m honest, I usually spend the time worrying.”

Cassie: “I fidget a lot. If I’m allowed to, I’ll get up and go work out. It calms me down.”

Nellie: “I usually sleep pretty well with my meds. I try not to think too much if I can’t.”

Do you forgive people easily?

Belladonna: “I try to. It hasn’t really come up much. It depends what they do - if they should’ve known better it’s hard.”

Cassie: “Nope. Fuck that. I’m not forgiving the people who fucked me up and you can’t make me.”

Nellie: “I’m trying! It’s hard to forgive Narcissus for what he’s done, but smaller things I can easily forgive.”

What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

Belladonna: “Probably passing out in the shower and concussing myself. Either that or the beating my dad gave me when I failed the ritual.”

Cassie: *gestures to her missing arm* “Maybe, just maybe, the time I cut my own fucking arm off?”

Nellie: “Physically, I’ve never been injured too badly. Probably one of the times Narcissus hit me.”

Thanks for the questions, these were good ones! @kaylinalexanderbooks @televisionjester @autism-purgatory want to play? Your questions are:

What’s your favourite flower?

Do you like parties? What kind?

Are you hiding anything from your friends (I promise the secret is safe with me)?

[prettyboyprincely]

And, in a shocking turn of events, it turns out the “anti groomer” crowd is okay with child abuse, so long as it is a cis person doing it

This is the world they want. A world where they can use violence to force children to conform to them.

[coolerdracula]

it's always oh my god are you okay and never yaayyyy you did a good job avoiding being bit or getting one your arms broken yippeee

[dyspunktional-leviathan]

Get it into your fucking heads that there's no such thing as a harmless nonconsensual action. That is literally what harm fucking is, something occuring to an entity without their consent. You cannot fucking evaluate things on "well what matters is not consent but rather will there be harm and how much" because nonconsent. Is. Harm. And harm is nonconsent.

The basest abuser logic. "Well I am hitting my kid for their own good!" no, it doesn't fucking matter that "well obviously hitting kids is bad I'm actually evaluating harm here!" No, you are not doing anything different from that parent. I can barely believe that I’m seeing folkel who advocate with that rhetoric and believe themselves anti-abuse but here we are.

[tadpoledancer]

the length boomers will go to defend child abuse is insane. you could post a video of a kid getting hit in the head with rocks and you'll have 64 year olds named patty and sheryl in the comments saying shit like "kids these days are so soft, back in my day my dad strangled me if I didnt turn in my homework on time" or some shit

[tea-and-secrets]

i have diagnosed ptsd from a past abusive friend and im constantly having flashbacks and nightmares

none of my irls understand the severity of it and im always being victim blamed + people consistently take his side (he is incredibly manipulative and victimizes himself to no end)

he brought knives to school and threatened me daily. how am i the aggressor here. he stalked me and crossed every boundary i placed. how am i the aggressor here. i fawned and did literally everything in my power to diffuse the situation but none of it worked. how am i the fucking aggressor

i feel so alone and worthless. i feel pathetic and less than human. with every biting remark from someone taking his side, i feel myself retreating back into my mind a little more. words cant describe how degraded and dehumanized i feel. i think that other abuse victims could relate to this

my friends and family all take my side and think that i did everything i could to stop him

everyone who hears my side of the story ends up taking my side

but none of them really understand the effect it has on me

they dont understand how i remember everything on a loop until the late hours of the night

they dont understand how my face pales when i think i see him in public

they just dont get it and i dont think they ever will

thats all for now. i hope everyone here is having a good day. remember to drink water, get enough food, and take care of yourself

.

[one-abuse-survivor]

first i want to say, i know you won’t be able to remember or find it because i didn’t sign it or anything, but a long time ago i vented to you about the abuse and trauma i was enduring, and i wanted to let you know that i’m in a much better state of mind now, and i’ve learned a lot of coping skills that have helped me emotionally regulate to the point i can function. thank you for listening to me during that time and being so supportive, it really helped a lot.

now comes a content warning: [mentions of abuse, physical assault, violence, rape]. i’d like to ask your thoughts on something new. i’m a young adult now, been one for years, i’m working on building my own life and everything, have a healthy romantic relationship now and all that. not everything is perfect, but things are pretty good compared to how it used to be. recently, i started having frequent vivid nightmares. it’s not just general scary stuff. i had a dream that a boy i’ve only talked to a few times raped me. he’s never done that in real life. the dream still felt real. i’ve had multiple nightmares about my dad physically and emotionally abusing me and my family. there’s lots of hitting. last night, i dreamt that he was physically assaulting us, and he even choked me out. i thought he was going to try to kill me. the dreams about my dad have relevance to real life, as he has abused us in real life, though not to the level of violence that my dreams have. i thought the nightmares might be part of trying to finally start to recover from long-term trauma. but some of the dreams don’t have anything to do with trauma i’ve endured. they’re always traumatic, but not trauma i’ve had in real life. i really don’t know what to think or to do. i’ve never had nightmares this bad before, not even in the midst of my real-life trauma. it makes it hard to sleep. i even feel afraid to sleep sometimes, like if one wakes me up in the middle of the night, i might try to stay awake because i’m afraid of what else i might experience when i fall back asleep. on one hand i want to know why i’m having so many so often, so that maybe i can use that information to help relieve myself of them. on the other, i want to know how to cope with them. i know they aren’t real, logically speaking, but i am having real, painful emotional and cognitive experiences, so the knowledge that it “isn’t real” doesn’t really help me. i wanted to ask your thoughts on this. thank you again for listening :) i hope you have a great day ♥️

Hi, nonnie! I might not know what your previous ask was, but I'm really glad to hear from you again and to hear you're doing well. I'm really glad to have been of help ❤️

The nightmares you've been having sound horrific, and I'm really sorry you're going through this :(

I can tell you that it's not uncommon to develop new symptoms of (C-)PTSD years after the traumatic events have stopped. So yes, the nightmares only recently starting up can be a PTSD symptom, even if they never happened during the time you went through the trauma. But I'm not a professional, and I can't really tell you why you're having them so often. I can theorise, and say that maybe as you've progressed in your recovery and have started to feel safe in your real life, your subconscious is feeding you horrible traumatic scenarios in an attempt to keep you prepared in case anything bad happens again, like it doesn't want to let its guard fully down yet. But that's just one possible reason this could be happening.

Also, although I've never had a phase of frequent nightmares as severe as yours, I have had many trauma nightmares over the years, and I've also dreamt about my mother doing things she never actually did in real life. So, you're not the only one! And I personally think it makes sense. Dreams aren't coherent or rational, and they naturally tend to mix reality with fiction, at least for me. So I personally don't worry too much about my trauma nightmares being an accurate reflection of the abuse I endured.

As for ways to cope with the nightmares, I'm afraid I also can't be of much help. I can tell you that certain habits can make us more prone to vividly experiencing/remembering our dreams. For example, if you consistently don't get enough sleep, your brain might sink directly into the deep sleep phase when you go to bed, and that can make you more aware of what you're dreaming. On a different note, one thing that used to help me years ago (not with nightmares, but with insomnia) was to fall asleep while reading the most boring books I could find, and not stop reading until I fell asleep. Maybe this could work as a distraction for you, to keep your mind away from replaying your previous nightmares in your mind as you fall asleep.

Is therapy an option for you currently? It sounds like a good therapist could give you some guidance on how to cope with the nightmares, and could also dig deeper into why this is happening and maybe give you some outlets or exercises to work through what's causing them.

I hope things get better soon. Sending all my support your way ❤️

[henriiiii-1001old]

🖕 for AltThatcher from tmc unholy gift?

he mostly gets angry when things don't go his way or if he thinks abt thatcher or gabriel too much. he is a very power hungry guy who will do anything to keep it, especially in a desperate situation.

in terms of thatcher, if he squints he knows he'll never replace thatcher while he's still alive, so he'll sometimes try to soil thatcher's reputation. sometimes he lets all his anger out through murder, though that would be on the more extreme side for him.

in terms of gabriel, he's more mad at gabe for being the only person who holds more power than him. he tries so hard to keep his cool around gabe and try to act like the "obedient servant to the puppet master" while secretly plotting an overthrowing for his own benefit and no one else's.

he also got very prone to anger when he was with ruth. every time she'd try and be snarky with him or try to fight back, hell even talking about puppet being an alt, he just completely shuts down and tries to control the situation through gaslighting, guilt tripping, and even physical violence. he tries not to let it get to that point often even if that's his most effective (but not healthy) way to release his emotions because he doesnt want to push rth too far away from him or he'd lose his opportunity to have some control over things even if he doesnt take gabriel's or thatcher's place.

after ruth left, he basically went on a rampage, never being able to calm himself down for a good ass while because he let the one thing he could control get away, and even if he thought he manipulated her enough to force her to stay with him, she still chose to run away from him anyway. this just made him sort of spiral to a very big threat that he becomes near the end of the story.

he's even gotten mad at his own alt buddies (specifically tiffany who keeps pestering him abt how overthrowing gabe is a reeaaally bad idea), eventually scaring all of them off too, but they still reluctantly stick with him for most of the story because they're not supposed to feel any sort of human emotion, especially not fear.

[vampiirxblood]

PTSD Trauma

This person really affected me, I suffer every day to find myself again, to be happy, to be okay. My ex physically, mentally, and emotionally abused me for five years. why did I stay? cause we have a son together.

The manipulation, gaslighting, and comfort that I was scared to leave. Though no one will really read this, While with this person last year was our last year, we were together and he slept with different girls while I would be at home, or work and taking care of the kids just trying to provide and on top going to college. We lived together for five years.

January couple days before my birthday we got into a fight. I shoved him for getting into my face and he slapped me so hard it cause force trauma that caused my left hear drum to blow out and I got vertigo for three weeks, he refused to take me to the hospital, this isn't the first slap either or the first hit.

Forward to February, I find cum stained shirts I asked my friend and he even said what it was, I confronted him about it and his response was it was Butter Milk, I knew well that Butter milk wouldn't of stained a shirt like that.

Forward to April, I thought we were okay but I was wrong, he was distant towards the end of the month, and I just kept begging him to respect me, to love me, and treat me right and I was just being ignored.

In May I saw his smart watch and I go through it, there were five different numbers and he was sexting these women during the times us being together when I would be asleep, or at work, even when I was in pain from suffering from sciatica. I called him that night as he was at work and the look on his face was like he was so tired of me. I was crying begging why would you do this you promised you wouldn't do this anymore. He said he had to go back to work and showed up at the house a couple mins later. I was crying on the floor and I asked why, he said the love for me died a while back and he said it with the coldest tone of voice. Keep in mind I was loyal to this person, loved him so much, and gave him my time, and attention. I would defend myself when he would come at me during a fight but never would abuse him. that was the day my heart broke but to find out it would break even more later that year.

I left to go be with my mom, with the kids in June. Towards the end of the month, I found out some girl was tagging him in relationship stuff over Facebook, I confronted her, and just said they were "JUST FRIENDS" I knew that was a lie, Her ex contacted me and told me she was in MY apartment, she claimed she didn't know it was bullshit. Me and her ex confronted my ex and he was just trying to call me left and right, making shit up about her.

I went back home a day later to confront him. I begged him to stop this shit with her but he was entertaining her and leading her on, He wouldn't stop and I was crying and told him to please block her. We argued for a couple good mins, he was threatening me he would end his life. Then I knew he turned around as I was facing him, He slapped me across the face. I got hit in the face over this girl. he left for a couple mins, and this girl messages me and tells me I deserved it because I scratched him in the face, Reason I did that was this person pinned me down and was manhandling me and I wanted him to stop. She was so two-faced, whore, and a homewrecker.

After all this chaos, CPS was involved and my kids told them he was the one that slapped me and was labeled as the perpetrator and was forced to leave, I kicked him out of the apartment a month later because of this chick. He was begging my brother and his bf to talk to me not to kick him out and he was scared.

I tried to move on and he would make me feel like shit for it. But I still tried anyway but found out I couldn't date anyone and I was still wanting him back. I wanted him to come back and fix it but he didn't. He went about his life and messed around with other people and had girlfriends, but still messing with my mind over shit. I don't know why I wanted him back but I did.

Flash forward to me moving out of the apartment in December, and I get a call from his first Baby Mama. She opens up and tells me so much shit about him and that he was making me sound like this bad person when it was the other way around. Then tells me this chick this person who was so eager to take him, was pregnant and pinned it on my ex. He tells me He did not know, but he knew and they had the baby which looks nothing like him at all. Then on Fb, they put they had been engaged since April of 2022?

we were together then and she was with some other guy.

This is my story and it still goes on and it's fucked up. I didn't deserve any of this and I am still having a hard time.

[lookwhatyoudidithasanxiety]

Lunar does have a point. He needs to learn how to cope in a way that does not involve harming others. He’s already proven to be a danger around others beyond you, midnight needs to learn to improve on his own

🪼

Sun: He has to take care of himself, you can't fix him. Clip, he threw you to the ground. He was gonna do whatever with those tools and-

Solar: Don't. I can't hear it, I know. *pulls the necklace out from under his shirt, rubbing his thumb over the polished blue pendant* It's gonna work out, it has to. He's my brother-

Lunar: But he isn't! Brother's don't treat each other like this!

[botanikos]

☆—;

Based on a discussion with my coworker, write up a headcanon in regards to the exchange between Stolas and Stella when she is about to hit him, and he expresses his desire for her to be gone. As in, that action being the final boundary crossed and the deciding factor in kicking her out.

[trauma-culture-is-blog]

hi!!!!!! I have a quick question! first off, lovely blog! second, is h!tting your kids when its like a joke and all and doesn't leave a mark, bad? cuz my parents (mainly my dad) used to joke h!t me all the time but I never see it in TV shows the closest thing I see is like elbowing someone jokingly and I'm confused. is it bad? im like 14 and still live with my parents, and they suck sometimes cuz I sometimes have to be the emotionally mature one but I don't think their abusive? anyway thxxxxxxx!!! im asking this blog cuz it seems appropriate thank you!!!

-🪻

I’m glad you feel like you have the place to ask!

So, the complicated part of this is that I’m not you, nor am I seeing firsthand your experiences, so I would give you questions to go by because I had to figure out similar situations

Does it hurt and if yes would they stop/seriously consider your feelings if you asked them to?

similar vein—does it feel like a joke? Would they stop/seriously consider your feelings if you asked them to?

does it upset you? Does it feel abusive at all? If this question is hard to answer then that’s fine, again, situations can be complicated

this could be related or it could not, but do other things in your household feel abusive or problematic? (Ex, you said sometimes you have to be the emotionally mature one. Sometimes that’s just people, it happens…sometimes, especially if it’s consistent, it’s a problem)

the biggest thing to consider is intent, regardless of what someone outwardly says. That why the important questions are how do you feel and how would they react to that.

Another note, is sometimes you don’t recognize something as abusive right away. Or on the other hand, if you’ve thought something was abusive and later realized it wasn’t, that’s all fine. It doesn’t make your experiences any less valid

I hope this helps!

[coolerdracula]

writing this system guide and including info about memory & emotion holding makes it seem so sad I need to include pictures of clowns or something so Frank doesn't get sad about it

[windy-trickster]

when hes yelling do you ever just take out your hearing aids

"⤥ ....I have. But then he gets physical with me when I try to drown him out. So I've stopped doing that. ⤣"