#phoebe what kind of sick joke is this

[qveerthe0ry]

Cleansing in the Flame

Summary: Mulder comes out to Scully. Word Count: 11,218 Pairing: Fox Mulder x Dana Scully Rating: 18+ mdni Warnings: descriptions of gender dysphoria, mentions of transitioning, a little bit of internalized transphobia, trans male character, bisexual female character, amab terminology for afab genitalia, oral sex, vaginal fingering, premature orgasm, coming out, confessing feelings, canon divergent, season one A/N: Baby's first MSR fic! Really honestly I just wanted more trans Mulder fics so I'm being the change I want to see in the world I guess. Ao3 link

The first time Fox Mulder saw an issue of Playboy, his hair was still long and his parents still called him Sarah, and he was still a year away from puberty.

He remembers it like it was yesterday, not because of the naked women, but the way they made him feel. Like something was off. He knew he liked girls, and he knew that was frowned upon, so he kept it to himself when he developed crushes on his friends at school. 

It wasn’t that. It was disgust, actually. Disgust at the idea that what he saw on the pages was what he was destined for. Breasts, wide hips, hairless skin. It made him sick. Instead of eating dinner at the table with his parents and sister, he faked a stomach ache and then cut all of his hair off with the scissors in the bathroom.

His mother cried, his father told him he was too old to be pulling shit like this. He tried not to hold it against them, because they couldn’t possibly understand what compelled him to do it. 

So he told them. He told them over and over and over again, for years. He’d cut his hair himself, he’d refuse the frilly clothes, and finally, finally, something snapped. 

He got what he wanted. He got the wardrobe, he got the trip to his dad’s barber shop, he got the medications only someone like his father would be able to access. He got his records changed, and a new private school, and Sarah Mulder was dead, just like that.

The second time Fox Mulder saw porn, it was a grainy video one of his buddies found when he was fourteen. He also remembers that like it was yesterday. 

He spent every night that week staring at himself in the mirror with a pair of tube socks stuffed in his boxers. 

He got his hands on more porn as the years passed by. He was obsessed with studying the men, the way they acted, the way they treated women, the way women treated them. By the time he finally shipped off to Oxford, he was convinced he was ready to be the man he always wanted to be. 

It turns out, there was only a small subset of women who wanted the man he’d become. 

That’s really where it all began. Aside from Phoebe and the disastrous end (and beginning and middle, if he’s honest) of their relationship, he didn’t get much action. 

He lived in a fantasy world, inside his adult videos and the magazine subscriptions he couldn’t afford and the phone calls he definitely couldn’t afford. There were women along the way, but he knew quite well they would be temporary. 

Porn is forever. 

And he’d never been ashamed of it before. 

So why is he all of a sudden so embarrassed about it when Scully starts making jokes about his habit?

You know why, he thinks, late at night, as he relives all the mortifying ways she’s revealed her knowledge of his extracurriculars. 

Because Dana Scully’s perfect. So perfect. Everything about her. He’d fallen in love before he even met her, as he read through her dissertation with heart-shaped pupils. 

And then she came knocking on his basement office door and treated him like a human being and he melted at her nonchalant kindness. 

Yes, she makes it quite clear that she thinks he’s bat-shit crazy. Yes, she works hard to pick apart every word he says. He likes that. He never believed in the term opposites attract until he met her, but her grounded personality and level head made him realize it isn’t just a cliche. 

And she’s beautiful, of course. Which sucks so much worse. It would be so easy to ignore how well they work together if she wasn’t so goddamn enticing. He likes the way she makes him feel so big, always staring up at him, always so dainty under his palm. 

Her eyes freeze him in place more often than he’d like to admit, striking against her frizzy strawberry hair. She hates it, complains about the way it curls up at the ends. Mulder loves it. Sometimes, when she’s standing in front of a light source, all those frizzy ends create a halo around her head and he thinks maybe he could believe in god because she’s simply angelic. 

And her lips. Mulder’s favorite thing to do on his morning commute is to guess what color lipstick she chose for the workday. He likes it best when she wears none, or a clear gloss, because he imagines her nipples are the same dusky pink color. 

He tries really hard not to objectify her, tries to keep his private thoughts respectful. She’s the most powerful woman he’s ever met, and she uses that power for good, because she is good. He’s already afraid of corrupting her, and when his thoughts drift off to inappropriate places, he feels guilty. 

Not guilty enough to stop renting the same six redhead-starring videos from his local adult store, though. 

The worst thing is, there’s no way she’d ever fall in love with him. Aside from the fact that he’s a conspiracy theorist and she’s as factual as a scientist can get, aside from the fact that he’s a loner with weirdo friends and no real hobbies, she deserves someone normal. 

A normal man. Someone who can give her children, a normal life, not a pretend one like he still feels he’s living after all these years. 

He hasn’t told her. 

It’s why he’s been extremely protective of his medical records, why he’s denied her offer to take over his charts and be his doctor for convenience’s sake. It’s why he’s extremely grateful that he got top surgery so young and his scars healed so well that they’re virtually unnoticeable under his chest hair. 

A part of him, the self-loathing part, feels like he’s been lying to her this entire time. It’s just that they haven’t even been working together for a year, yet, and when is it a good time to come out to someone? They got so close so quick that now he feels she’ll be hurt that he didn’t tell her sooner.

And really, the biggest reason of all, is that if she doesn’t know, then maybe he can pretend that they’ll get together one day. 

It all comes to a head on a case, when he’s kicked Scully out and searched through the naughty channels and finally settled on one when she comes barging through his door with a file in her hand. 

The TV is facing the doorway, and he shuts it off quickly, but not quick enough. 

“Geeze, Mulder, I’ve been gone for five minutes.”

His face is hot, with shame, yes, but anger too. Mostly at himself, but a little at the fact that she didn’t bother knocking. 

“I didn’t think you were coming back.”

She huffs, a smirk playing at the corner of her pretty mouth, and it makes him feel tingly all over in the worst way. 

“I’m not a pervert,” he says, before his brain catches up with his mouth.

One meticulously plucked eyebrow quirks up.

“I never said you were.”

Mulder crosses his arms over his chest. Scully mirrors him with the file still in her hand. Her head cocks to the side and he almost misses the way her eyes flicker below his belt for just a millisecond before meeting his face again. 

He has to tell her, doesn’t he? He can’t keep going on without getting this off his chest. 

“I have to tell you something.” 

She finally closes the motel door behind her. His ears are ringing. He can feel all of his boiling blood pumping through every vein in his body. 

“What’s wrong, Mulder?” 

She settles in a chair next to the bed. She’s so perfect, god, it makes him want to throw up. Her blazer is gone, her crisp white shirt is unbuttoned a casual amount. He loves the way she doesn’t cross her legs when she sits in pants. Her knees always align with her narrow shoulders; it’s so Scully. 

Now, she sets her elbows on her knees, the file dangling between her legs as she looks at him expectantly. 

“I um… There’s something I want you to know. About me.”

The teasing look on her face dissipates. Her eyes widen and her brows draw together with concern, but she’s quiet as she patiently waits for him to continue. 

His throat feels thick and his palms are sweatier than ever as he searches for the right words, the right way to begin this conversation. 

“I uh… I wasn’t…” he huffs as he looks up at the popcorn ceiling above their heads. 

“Take your time,” she says, hushed and patient and calm, and her gentle tone is what gives him the strength to look over at her again. 

She looks worried. It’s what compels him to rip the bandaid off, to save her from the suspense. 

“I’m transgender.”

And he doesn’t even feel relief like he thought he would, because he still has another confession weighing on his shoulders. I’m also in love with you.

“Thank you for sharing that, Mulder.”

He opens his eyes without realizing he closed them in the first place. She looks calm. Eerily calm. Even more than that way that irritates him sometimes when he thinks he’s onto something big and she doesn’t see any concern. 

“You’re not… Surprised?”

He watches her bite her lip. God, how one woman can be so cute and sexy at the same time is so beyond him. His heart is racing for so many different reasons.

“I didn’t want to assume, but I am a medical doctor. I’ve uh… seen some things while you were in the hospital. Not like that— I mean, your charts.”

How?

“I’m sorry if I crossed a boundary.”

Mulder shakes his head.

“No, no. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

Scully sighs and stands, and in the second it takes her to sit on the bed next to him, he’s already begun to spiral.

“You have nothing to apologize for, Mulder.”

She’s sincere. He knows by the tone of her voice and by the way she brushes his hair from his forehead, always fussing over him. It makes his whole body feel overheated and clammy. 

“You’re not upset?”

She laughs, one of those indignant huffs that he’s so accustomed to. 

“Not at all. Why would I be?”

“I lied, I kept it from you. You’re supposed to trust me—”

“Mulder,” she whispers. He can’t meet her intense gaze, but she continues nonetheless, “I trust you with my career, my safety, my life. Something so trivial would never change that fact.”

When he finally works up the courage to look at her, she’s smiling at him, like he’s the one being silly. Maybe he is. Maybe he should have known that Dana Scully is actually perfect, no exceptions.

He works his lips up in the corners to hopefully resemble some kind of smile. It’s hard with how his heartbeat is deafening him, and how he kind of wants to cry. 

“I don’t see what this has to do with your porn habits, though.”

Perfect. She is so fucking perfect, he’ll never doubt her again. 

She’s grinning at him with her eyebrow cocked up, all smug and teasing, and he loves her so fucking much that it’s burning a hole in his chest. 

“It’s stupid, maybe. I just got into the habit of watching the men, you know? How they act, how they, uh, y’know. It’s like I’m studying.”

She stares at him for a beat and then giggles. A bubbly little noise she can’t contain, a noise Mulder wants to fall asleep to every night. 

“O-kay, if you say so.”

“Hey! That’s perfectly valid, is it not?”

“I wouldn’t say modeling yourself after men in pornography is valid, no. Mulder, this crap is misogynistic, patriarchal propaganda. They treat women like objects, like receptacles.”

He’s taken aback by her fiery bluntness. He’s half-aware that his jaw is hanging open like a jackass, but he’s looking for words to say and can’t grasp any. 

“Any man would benefit from treating a woman like a woman would.”

He finally has something to say, but as he sucks in a deep breath to respond, she halts him.

“And not from watching that junk made by men, for men.”

He nods. He’s not entirely sure why he hadn’t thought of it this way, but it all does make a ton of sense. It’s glaringly obvious, actually, clearing up the teenage fog in his brain that’s always surrounded his propensity for porn. 

“Well, Scully, it sounds like you’re speaking from experience.”

And it’s fair game, right? He just came out to her and she scolded him for his porn choices with laughter. They can joke like this, right?

She freezes, though. Crosses her arms over her chest self-consciously. It makes him want to suck all the words back in and staple his mouth shut. 

“Maybe I am, Mulder.”

She shrugs, like it’s no big deal, but her wavering voice tells a different story. 

“You were dating that guy, though. The boring one.”

She rolls her eyes. 

“I’m bisexual.”

Jesus, she’s so good at making him feel like an idiot. It’s kind of hot. 

“Oh. Umm… thank you for sharing?”

And an ass. He always feels like an ass around her, but it’s reached a new level now. 

“I wasn’t trying to hide it from you, it just never came up.”

And now she’s defensive, great, how’d he manage to muck this all up so badly? 

“I didn’t say you were, Scully. I’m— look, I’m sorry, it was a bad joke. And you’re right. Maybe you could… uh… pass along some of those learning materials you were talking about?”

She glares at him, but her pretty little lips are trying and failing to suppress a smile. 

“For science, Scully.”

She giggles then, and sighs. Mulder figures the conversation is over, and he’ll go back to watching his shauvenistic entertainment while trying not to focus on the fact that Scully is nothing but a wall away. 

Instead, she flops back on his mattress, perpendicular to his crossed legs, and places a hand on his denim covered calf. Her gaze meets his, and her smile is soft and secretive and relaxed and beautiful. 

“I’m glad we came out to each other. It was kind of driving me insane, pretending to act all prudish when you’d make comments about hot women.”

Mulder’s stunned silent, which is a feat only Scully could accomplish. He’s rarely seen this Scully, laid back and unprofessional. He yearns for her to make an appearance at all times. It makes him feel a mix of horny and lovesick he’s never quite experienced at such a level. 

“I mean, it’s a miracle you never clocked me sooner. All those magazines I’ve caught you looking at? I’m only human, Mulder. I was bound to have a reaction sooner or later.”

He attempts to chuckle. Really it just sounds all garbled coming from his dry throat. 

“Maybe I suspected,” he finally says, shrugging, “I just didn’t think it was my business one way or another. And that guy— and your ex, whatshisface?”

“Ethan.”

“Ethan, yeah. Poor guy.”

Scully hums and looks away. 

“What about you? Any girlfriend? Boyfriend? You’ve never said.”

It’s sweet that she’s asking, even though he’s sure she knows the answer.

“No, no girlfriends,” he laughs softly, “you may be surprised to find I’m not many women’s type, Scully.”

Her dainty little hand squeezes his calf. 

“That does surprise me, actually.”

He blinks, watches her demeanor. She’s serious. He laughs again, harder this time. 

“Scully,” he groans, “what’s happened to my partner of sound logic and reasoning?”

“What?” Scully squawks, slapping his knee. “You’re a smart guy, handsome, steady job, kind. Charming even, sometimes, if you try really hard.”

He huffs but feels himself curling inward. Is she… flirting? Surely not. She’s just being kind, trying to make him feel better. Handsome???

“Yeah, it works for me up until date number three, then things get pretty awkward pretty quickly.”

Her hand is on his knee now, and her short thumbnail scratches little circles into his patella, and he wants to disappear. She hums and stares at him, and it isn’t pity that makes her gaze feel so heavy. It’s something else, something Mulder doesn’t even dare let himself think. 

“Seems kinda silly in the grand scheme of things,” she mumbles. Mulder hardly hears that mousey, tinny register. 

“What do you mean?”

She shrugs, looks down at where her hand is searing a fucking hole through his jeans and branding his skin. Mulder places his hand on top of hers, to encourage her or maybe just selfishly to feel her bare skin. 

“It’s just… I would see it as a net positive. Knowing your way around the… uh… equipment so to speak.”

Christ.

Of all the things he’d expect to come from her mouth, that’s so low on the list that it’s laughable. 

“Dana Katherine Scully,” he gasps. He has to cope with humor. If he doesn’t, he’ll melt into the mattress and become an x-file himself. 

She giggles. Giggles. The sound is so beautiful as it pierces the room and bounces off the gaudy wallpaper. 

He wants her so bad it’s pathetic. He has the sudden urge to kick a piece of gravel down the road and whistle a sad tune. 

“I’m just saying, if they were smart, they’d take advantage.”

“Are you?” 

Oh god oh fuck.

“Am I what?”

He clears his throat and looks away and lets his hand fall back into his lap instead of on her hand. 

“Mulder, am I what?”

“… Smart?”

His eyes are closed. He’s leaned his head back so far against the tacky motel bed headboard that his neck aches. He wants to run away, but he doesn’t want to stop feeling her hand on his knee, even above his clothes. 

It feels like hours before she responds. 

“I re-wrote Einstein, didn’t I?”

He pries one of his eyes open, looking down the bridge of his nose at her. She’s smirking, lifting her brow at him with her lips turned up and her cute nose scrunched like it does sometimes. 

“You certainly did.”

Mulder’s heart is pounding so hard against his ribcage that his chest aches. He’s stunned still, stiff against the mattress, under the heat of Scully’s palm. He chews on his lower lip as their gazes meet and it feels so much more heated than it ever has, the touch, their shared looks, their words. Dangerous and terrifying. 

He holds his breath as Scully bites her own dainty lips. He feels every one of her fingertips when she squeezes his knee, scorching but gentle. It twitches under her touch and he just barely keeps it together enough to swallow the noise that threatens his throat. She smiles at him, so bright in this otherwise dim, dingy room. 

He loves her. 

“Goodnight, Mulder,” she says. 

He deflates as her hand slips from his knee, as she sits up and the bed shifts when she stands. He’s slow to catch up with everything happening, the teasing and the look she gave him and her abrupt parting. He only realizes she’s leaving as she makes her way to the door with the forgotten file tucked under her arm. 

“Don’t stay up too late,” she laughs. 

He smiles and nods and lets his head thunk back against the headboard as the door closes behind her. He doesn’t turn on the TV, he doesn’t even undress or get under the covers. He just stares at the moldy popcorn ceiling until he dozes off. 

____

The drive home should be awkward. Mulder feels rejected. He feels like he overshared and overstepped and overshot. They should be uncomfortable. The air in the car should be tense and thick. 

And if it isn’t, then Scully should at least be pretending like nothing ever happened last night. But she’s not. That same air of ease and comfort she harbored after their shared coming out is still here. She laughs at his stupid jokes, and she makes some herself, and she playfully slaps his arm when he says something inappropriate. 

She is flirting. 

This is a Scully he’s never seen before. She’s acting like a schoolgirl. Or what Mulder imagines a schoolgirl would have acted like had he ever had an interaction with one in this way.

Mulder should clarify, unpack what they told each other, what it means for them. He doesn’t. Instead, he throws every tenth seed shell at her and lets his heart skip a beat when she giggles his name and crinkles up her face in mock-disgust. 

It’s eerie how stark the contrast is when they make it back to Hoover, how her sweet grin is replaced by a professional smile, how her pointy shoulders go from gooey and lax to nearly touching her ears. This is the Scully he expected on the drive home, yet he’s still jarred by it as they waltz into Skinner’s office for the briefing. 

It was a cut and dry case, there’s nothing for Mulder to be nervous about. But as Skinner drones on about the procedures and paperwork and expense reports, he can’t help but wonder if he’ll ever get to see that rare version of Scully again. If everything changed, or if nothing changed. 

His leg bounces up and down at a pace so rapid it could shake the entire building, yet he doesn’t even notice until Scully’s hand lands on his knee. Again. As he settles his heel to the ground, he thinks maybe Scully’s fingers could be imprinted on his kneecap. He’d welcome it, at least. To look down and see the reminder of her grounding presence molded into his skin? He craves it, actually. 

Instead, they slip away quietly and without ceremony into her own lap again. Skinner cuts them loose, and Mulder stares at his watch for far too long on the elevator ride down to the basement.

He swears with every tick of the second hand the air between them gets more dense. 

He stands purposelessly at his desk. It’s 4:08pm. 

“Think I’ll head home early. Not much I can get done in an hour anyway.”

He has to drag his eyes from his shoes to look at her. She’s draping her bag on the back of her chair, like it’s any other normal day. Something about it makes his insides squirm. 

“Oh, okay. I was just going to organize a few things.”

She shrugs, and smiles that soft, unguarded smile. 

“Cool… Thanks. I’ll see ya.”

He nods toward the door but doesn’t head for it quite yet. She steps toward him, just one little Scully foot forward. 

“Have a good weekend, Mulder.”

He holds his breath and turns on his heel and mumbles some semblance of a goodbye he can’t really hear as his blood rushes in his ears. 

One moment he’s unlocking his car door in the parking garage, and the next moment he’s standing in the middle of his living room. He can’t recall the drive home, or even changing into jeans, but he must not have eaten because his stomach grumbles as he collapses into his couch. 

The past 24 hours weigh him down heavily; he half expects to pop a spring or two in the ancient leather sofa. 

Now that Scully’s not glued to his side, his thoughts are swirling in a completely different direction. 

She knew. 

It’s been nearly four months since the first time Scully visited him in the hospital. She’s known for four months and never said a thing, never even looked at him differently. Never treated him differently.

Christ, maybe he should be more alarmed at how well she can hide things, or how his knack for profiling has slipped. 

All he can feel, though, is love. A sickening, overwhelming, all-consuming warm and fuzzy feeling that makes him nauseous, makes his breathing all quick and his pulse race despite his supine position. 

He thought he loved her before. Her intelligence and earnestness, her contradictions of faith, her loyalty to him and their work, it all completely chewed him up and spit out a lovesick Mulder. 

But now? 

Knowing she’s known this whole time and had so much respect for him that he couldn’t even tell? 

He closes his eyes and tries to tamper down the grin that splits his face so wide his cheeks ache. 

Dana Katherine Scully, the love of his life. He wants to shout it from the rooftops, he wants to doodle Fox Scully and Dana Mulder in a notebook to see which one looks better, he wants to tell her. 

He’s so caught up in imagining her holding a beautiful bouquet in an all-white pantsuit that he barely hears the faint knock at his apartment door. 

On autopilot, he peels himself off of the couch to answer it. 

It’s frankly alarming to see Scully standing in his hallway just moments after thinking about their wedding day. 

“I’m glad you’re here, I brought you something.”

He looks back into his apartment, untidy but not dirty, nothing extremely embarrassing anywhere visible, at least he hopes. She’s shifting from foot to foot when he opens the door wider and ushers her inside with a hand on her elbow. 

“You miss me already?” He jokes. 

His voice doesn’t even sound real. Completely foreign to his own ears. 

She rolls her eyes at him but smiles anyway, sets her purse down next to his phone on the table. 

She’s wearing jeans, and a soft sweater that makes Mulder wonder if her skin is even softer. She looks fantastic and she smells even better, a perfume he’s only caught a whiff of on occasion. And she’s in his apartment.

He lingers by the door as she rifles around in her purse. He’s not sure how long she plans to stay and doesn’t want to embarrass himself by assuming and settling on his sofa. 

Finally she hums and spins around to face him, a videotape with a generic cover in her grasp. 

“What’s this?”

She pawns it off on him gingerly, and he turns it over in his hands. 

“It’s that learning material you requested. It’s my favorite, though, so it’s strictly a rental.”

He nearly drops it. It fumbles from one hand to the other on its downward path but he’s able to trap it against his stomach. His face feels hot for so many different reasons. He knows by the amused look on Scully’s face that she can see the red bloom across his cheeks and down his neck. 

Scully watches porn. 

Scully has a favorite porno. 

He feels as if he holds the proof of alien life in his sweaty palms. 

“I uh— thank— thank you.”

His voice hasn’t cracked this much since he was eight months on testosterone. 

Her gaze goes soft. Again, it isn’t pity. It isn’t anywhere near those looks he’s gotten from women past. It’s entirely new, and as she steps forward into his space he allows himself to imagine that maybe even a fraction of his feelings are reciprocated. 

She’s looking up at him through her lashes. He watches a tinge of uncertainty flicker across her face and he can’t let that happen. His arm feels leaden when he lifts it, so slowly, to wrap his hand around her slim waist. One half-step forward and his hand with the tape is brushing against her stomach, and he has to tilt his neck even further down to hold her gaze. 

“Scully—”

“I wanted to kiss you last night,” she says, and rolls her eyes at herself. 

Her words pour over him like a bucket of boiling water, acutely spreading heat throughout his jittery body. 

“Why didn’t you?”

“Bureau policy— Male and female agents can’t consort in the same motel room.”

She says it so matter-of-fact, like it’s obvious, like they haven’t consorted in motel rooms all across the country, pouring over case files spread across the scratchy comforters. 

But what weakens his knees the most is that she doesn’t think of him as some loophole, or technicality. He is a man to her, with no asterisks or footnotes. 

He clears his throat and swallows to try and force that lump down, but his words come out gravely anyway. 

“Do you still want to kiss me?”

She blinks slowly, and nods her head, and her eyes trace a syrupy slow line from his eyes to his lips. The heat of her body presses even closer to his, and if she were taller he knows he’d be able to feel her breath on his face. 

His grip on her waist tightens. He drops his head down even further and watches her lips curl into a smile just as he closes his eyes—

“Wait.”

He careens back. He expects to see something terrible in her expression, apprehension or displeasure or anger even. But when he blinks his eyes open she’s got that familiar exasperation littering her features. 

“Put the porno down, Mulder.”

He laughs, god, and feels so fucking relieved. He makes a show of carefully placing it down next to her purse, turning back with his hands raised like a cornered perpetrator. 

She’s slipping out of her pristine sneakers as she rolls her eyes at him, all icy blue and wide. She’s making herself comfortable. In his home. He takes a mental snapshot so he never forgets this moment.

Then her little socked feet carry her toward him once again, only stopping when she’s pressed against him entirely. She’s warm and fragrant and soft and it’s undeniable how easy it is to encircle her in his arms when she reaches to place her cold hands on his heated neck. 

“Maybe you should let me watch a bit of that tape first, y’know? For some instruction?”

He’s stalling. This is the moment he’s been waiting months for and he still can’t kick this nervous habit of joking around when he’s uncomfortable. 

She kicks it for him.

“Shut up, Mulder.”

No sooner than his name leaves her lips do they press against his. Her body’s plastered against him as she leans up on her toes to reach his mouth. There’s a sharp inhale and he’s not sure who it comes from, because his senses are dialed down to his lower lip that’s captured between her two. 

He melts into her, sags down to wrap his arms even tighter around her and encourage her to melt into him, too. 

And she does, nearly knocks him over with the way she leans her entire body weight into his. They fit so perfectly that it’s dizzying. There’s a comfort he feels that’s so new in a situation like this. Like he’s safe, like he’s home. 

Her lips are so warm and soft and wet. She takes from him, sets the pace, delivers this perfect push and pull that feels as natural as everything else does between them. He lets her, gives himself over to her and follows her steady, almost methodical lead. 

He’s so torn between thinking it’s finally happening, finally, after all I’ve imagined, she’s finally here and willing his brain to shut off so he can just be. It’s only when Scully is tumbling backward does he realize she’s been tugging them toward the couch.

Her grip is steady on the back of his neck as she sits. He bends over as much as he can and then kneels, one knee down then the other. Her legs bracket his body as he leans into her more, grips her hips and feels his thumbs swipe under her cashmere to find something even smoother. 

Her skin is soft and warm and the sound he makes should embarrass him. But the answering whimper she breathes into his mouth only eases him more. She bites down on his bottom lip and it goes straight to his lower gut, an alarming shockwave of arousal.

He pulls away. It takes summoning the strength of ten thousand men to slip his lips from between her pointy canines. They’re breathing like they’ve been on a chase, and Scully’s pupils are bigger than he’s ever seen them before.

He’s never felt so vulnerable in his life than he does right now. Under her heated gaze, under her heavy hands, he’s so torn between excitement and terror. And he knows that he has to lay all his cards down, before anything else happens, or he’ll end up closer to death than he ever has before.

“Scully,” he starts, “I can’t come back from this.” 

He shakes his head and squeezes her hips. 

She’s got a bit of mauve lipstick smeared at the corner of her mouth as her eyes get wider and search his own. 

“What do you mean?” 

Her whisper is loud in the otherwise silent apartment. 

“I— I’m… Crazy about you,” he swallows, “I don’t think I could cope with it, if this is just some whim for you.”

Her eyebrows draw together, and her nails scratch so gently at the back of his neck. He shivers, and his eyes close at the feeling. 

He holds his breath, just for a second, until he feels Scully’s warm lips brush his earlobe. 

“You’re not a whim for me, Mulder,” she breathes. 

When he exhales, the scent of her shampoo wafts into his face and does nothing to calm him down. 

“No?”

She shakes her head and leans back to meet his eyes. 

“You’re it, for me.”

He wants to cry. His lungs feel like they’re burning. He squeezes his eyes shut again, and Scully rests her forehead against his damp one. 

“Is that okay?” 

He laughs, a little huff of air that makes him wish he had an affinity for breath mints instead of sunflower seeds. 

“It’s… unbelievable.”

She laughs too, but it’s heavy and wet and unlike her usual airy giggles that he loves so much. 

He opens his eyes. Here, kneeling between her legs, he feels like he’s at the altar. Like his prayers are by some miracle being answered. 

He stares up at her, and he swears she emanates light. It’s blinding, her beauty. Her crystal blue eyes and her sultry lips and that cute fucking mole right next to her enticing Cupid’s bow that’s always hiding beneath concealer. The freckles on her cheeks that become more and more visible as the day goes on and her makeup fades. The way her hair goes whatever direction it wants to and shines no matter how dark the room is. 

He loves her so much, and hopes to whatever god is real that she’ll hear it even if he doesn’t dare speak the words yet. 

His hands are shaking as they slip beneath her sweater. She arches toward him, encouraging him, as her lips seal around his own again.

He drags them up the contours of her waist, lets his thumbs tease from her bellybutton up to her sternum. Her ribs are so small in his hands, and he marvels at it for quite some time before he continues up. 

The webs between his thumbs and forefingers brush the underside of her breasts. She’s not wearing a bra. Of course she isn’t. She shouldn’t ever. Her tits are so perfect and perky and round and Mulder throbs in his jeans when he feels the light weight of them in his palms. 

She pushes them out for him, and makes noises into his mouth he’s only ever dreamed of hearing. 

Her eyes are shut tight when he pulls back. 

“Off?” He asks, his voice raspy and heady and quiet. 

Her eyelids flutter open so slowly as she nods and grabs the hem of her sweater. He sits back on his heels to watch as she reveals, inch by tantalizing inch, the textbook definition of porcelain skin. 

He presses his palm against the fly of his pants as he notes a faint birthmark on her hip bone, and the cutest little divot above her bellybutton. He wants to eat it all up, sink his teeth into all this uncharted Scully territory. Her ribs protrude a bit as she lifts her shirt higher, and then those small, round breasts bounce as they’re released from the cashmere. His mouth opens as he discovers her nipples are darker than her lips, devours the sight of her dusky areolas and erect nipples. 

His tongue involuntarily runs across his lower lip as he eyes the dark, coppery curls under her arms. When she finally gets her sweater over her head, her hair just tickles her pale, bony shoulders. He doesn’t know where to look. His eyes dart all over, frantic and hurried, until they land on her face. 

She looks shy, more bashful than he’s ever seen her before, and that just won’t do. He surges forward to kiss her quivering lips and groans as he takes her breasts in his hands once more. 

Her nipples are so full and stiff against the meat of his palms. He rolls them under his hands and she grasps his wrists to encourage him with a soft gasp. 

He mumbles her name as his kisses trail from the side of her mouth to her sharp jaw. She makes a questioning noise, like she doesn’t know what he’s on about, like she doesn’t realize this is the single greatest moment of his entire stupid life. 

“You’re the most beautiful woman in the world.”

His confession is panted across the hinge of her jaw. He hears her scoff above him. He raises one eyebrow sky high as he pulls back to look at her. 

“What, you think I’m lying?”

“I think you’ve seen plenty of beautiful women, Mulder.”

He blushes a bit at her subtle dig, but scoffs right back at her and shakes his head. 

“None of them could touch you.” 

He looks her right in the eyes as he says it. It’s such an objective truth. He spares her the details of his search for a Scully look-alike at the adult movie store, and how anytime he watches porn the only thing he can think about is how he wishes it were himself with her instead of two strangers. 

Her hair covers her face as she tilts her head down. He slides his hands from her tits to her neck, cradles it in his palms as she still hangs onto his wrists. He swipes her hair behind her ear and she finally looks up at him. Her face is so flushed, so cute, and gorgeous, and he’s in absolute awe that she’s here with him like this. But she’s smiling, and her eyes are shining, and she kisses him breathless for what feels like the first and the millionth time. 

He feels every inch of her soft skin. Her hips and her waist and the dimples on her lower back that he’s been dreaming of since their first case. The knobs of her spine, her sharp shoulder blades. Her tongue runs circuits around his mouth, learning every crevice, every tastebud, until he pinches her nipple and she arches and gasps his name with her head thrown back. 

Fuck. 

She’s said it a million times by now, hasn’t she? But like this, with her eyelids all heavy and her breath coming in labored, it’s nothing short of life-changing. He takes the other one between his lips in hopes he can make her say it like that over and over again.

Her fingers card through his hair and tug a bit, no bite behind it, but fuck if it doesn’t get him even more wet than he already is. It’ll be an embarrassing mess in his briefs if they make it that far, but even that thought sends him reeling. He can’t wait any longer, he’s parched for the taste of her. He grinds against the heel of his hand once, twice, then moves it to the waistband of her jeans.

Before his gaze even travels up to meet hers she’s nodding and lifting her hips, encouraging him. He wills his shaking hands to get steadier as he works her button through its hole, then pulls her zipper down. Her hands push at her jeans just as his do. When she arches her back and lifts her hips and he tugs her pants down, the smell of her arousal hits his nose like a freight train.

Her scent wipes any last bit of restraint from his tiny little brain. He buries his face between her legs with a pathetic little noise and breathes her in. Her hips twitch under his firm hold. His brain goes startlingly quiet, and all he can focus on is the thin, cotton material of her panties that are soaked against his stubbly chin, and the salty, earthy aroma that’s caused it.

It’s Scully. It’s her very essence. His partner, his best friend, wet and needy and writhing against his face. He whines and digs his fingernails into her perfect skin and leaves irritated streaks down her hips as he hooks into the elastic around them. 

Her grip on his hair gets more insistent with his hesitation to come up for air. The sharp tinge of his scalp would only egg him on if it weren’t for how hot it is that she’s impatient for this, too. He tugs the unassuming black fabric down her legs and swears he hears a chorus of angels singing when her thighs part for him. 

Gorgeous, just like everything else about her. Her little mound is covered in darker curls, with striking highlights of that red he loves so much streaming through here and there. She’s swollen beneath those, trimmed for easy access, a fact that sends his mind into a frantic flurry that comes and goes like the wind. Wet, too, so wet that she’s leaking onto the leather of his couch. He hopes it fucking stains, hopes he’ll never be able to wash it out. 

Her folds cascade so beautifully and gracefully; Georgia O’Keefe couldn’t dare to dream of recreating it. And at the very tip of her, as if she couldn’t get any fucking cuter, is the smallest little clit he’s ever laid eyes on. It’s protruding from its hood, taunting him, calling to him like a siren. 

“Mulder.”

His eyes dart up to meet Scully’s. Her face is blood red, and she’s squirming, and he wonders exactly how long she had let him gawk at her pussy. 

“Sorry, sorry. Just— Getting acquainted.”

He smirks when she whimpers, and gasps when her fist twists in his hair.

“I won’t beg,” she pants, but even that sounds like a plea. 

He huffs and gets his arms under her thighs as he shakes his head. 

“I’m the one on my knees, here. Jesus, Scully.”

His cock is harder than it’s ever been in his entire life. He’s already on edge, and he’s shifting his hips so it drags against the fly of his jeans, as subtle as he can manage. 

Her nails scrape his scalp. He bends his elbows inward and rests his hands on either side of her pussy, his thumbs spreading her just slightly, just enough to make her gasp. It’s all he can do to watch with awe as her cunt flutters around nothing and her clit pulses before he lowers his face. 

He starts with just the tip of his tongue, light as a feather, to trace the slightly stubbly outer lips. It doesn’t stop her from jolting in his grasp and whispering curses he’s never heard from her before now. It very quickly becomes not enough, for both of them, so he teases down to dip into her cunt and taste all the juice that’s made her so messy. She shifts under his hands, and he gets it, but he can’t give up so easily. He wants to savor this, and her.

He rolls the tang of her over his tongue and swallows before he licks a flat stripe up. The feeling of her folds parting against his tongue nearly makes him come. Supple and smooth and so fucking delicious. He moans when he finally feels her tiny little pearl against his taste buds, then again when she grinds up into his mouth. 

His own hips jolt. Shamelessly, he grinds them again and again as he rolls his flat tongue against her. The friction is just not quite enough to get him there, and it’s fucking torturous.

He moves one hand down to his fly just for a second, just to ease the pressure and throbbing.

“That’s so good,” he hears. 

He lifts his eyes but not his face, drowning in her and unwilling to come up for air. But when he finds her eyes locked on his hand at the front of his jeans, he can’t control the noise he makes. 

He squeezes his eyes shut and takes a deep breath through his nose to will himself away from the edge that’s blindsided him. 

“So hot, touching yourself like that,” she pants. 

He whimpers as her clit slips from between his lips. 

“I’ll come,” he warns her. 

His voice is strange and strained to his own ears. 

But she just moans and arches up into him. 

“So come.”

It feels like his whole body bursts into flames. His hips jerk against his hand and all he can do to stave off the embarrassment is envelop her clit and groan around it as he unravels. He hangs on to his last wit and works his tongue against her to the rhythm of his writhing against his palm. 

And she talks him through it, tells him how hot it is, how good he is. She’s a menace, she’s evil, and he’s so fucking in love with her. He wonders briefly if he accidentally wrote ‘I have a praise kink’ in black sharpie on his forehead as he begins to come down. But of course he didn’t, she just knows, because she’s perfect.

“Please make me come,” she finally says, and it cuts straight through any post-orgasmic haze to kick him into gear. 

He lifts his hand to his mouth and wets two of his fingers. He circles her wetness with them and glances up for her permission. He’s nervous, all of a sudden, that he won’t know what she likes, that he can’t please her, that maybe this whole thing is a big mistake. 

But when he sees the look on her face, a look he’s never seen on her before, the doubt fades to the background. She nods her head and tilts her hips to urge him to continue.

He does. He slips two fingers into her and groans at how warm and wet and tight and smooth she feels. Her head falls back against the couch and her hand that’s not gripping his hair like a vice cups her own perky breast. His eyes close and he locks in, finds her perfect bud at the same time his fingers stroke over the rough, swollen spot inside of her. 

He can feel her clenching around him, her walls tightening and releasing around his fingers in rhythmic pulses that mesmerize him. He gets so lost in it, the feeling of her squeezing him and her clit throbbing against his tongue and her noises.

They aren’t like any noises he’s ever heard, not in porn or with the handful of women he’s slept with. They’re breathy and quiet, but not shy. She’s not holding back, he can tell, but she’s not exaggerating. She gasps and moans and hisses his name through her teeth. Her hips rock up into his face and his hand, her own still coiled tightly in his hair. He’ll never get tired of this, no matter how many times she lets him.

It’s that thought that has him doubling his efforts— that he gets to do this now. She said so, that he’s it for her. He taps his fingers harder and faster against her g-spot and shakes his head back and forth with his tongue hanging from his mouth. 

She cries out, loud enough that he worries about the thickness of his apartment’s walls. 

“Don’t stop don’t stop don’t stop—” she begs, “I’m gonna come— Mulder!”

She comes, hard. 

Her juices trickle down the palm of his hand as she writhes and shakes against him. Her thighs clamp around his ears and muffle the mewling sounds coming from her. He continues his pace as she tugs his hair and doesn’t slow until he feels all of her muscles start to loosen up. Even then, he works her aftershocks out of her gently and slowly until she physically pushes him away. 

Panting just as hard as she is, Mulder rests his head against the thin, pale skin of her thigh. It’s hot under his cheek, under his lips. He drags his eyes up from the scene of the crime to gauge her reaction, praying she hasn’t yet come to her senses— that she never does, when it comes to him. 

Her head’s still thrown back as her chest heaves up and down. He can’t help but to stroke her sweaty skin with his fingertips. The skin of her hip is smooth and tacky, and she jolts at the sudden touch and then squirms a bit on the damp leather. He watches with amazement as she settles and goosebumps break out across her skin. He sighs and looks back up at her when he finally feels her gaze. 

“Thank you,” he whispers.

Her blacked-out eyes search his for a moment before she giggles that fucking giggle that gives him butterflies. 

“Mulder,” she starts, her laugh fading, “you’re crazy.”

He smiles probably too wide and chuckles against her thigh. 

“So I’ve heard.”

She shifts in a big way, and he finds himself mourning the feeling of being pressed against her before he’s even gone. But she just leans forward to grab his face in her hands and then kisses him. 

Her tongue seeks out every inch of his mouth, stealing her taste from him. He lets her, whining as she licks behind his teeth, gripping her hips so he doesn’t float off into space. When she’s satisfied she’s erased all evidence of herself from his mouth, she pulls back with the most beautifully dazed expression on her freckled face. Her thumbs swipe back and forth over his cheekbones and it makes him feel full.

“Your knees,” she whispers. 

“I don’t remember having knees,” he mumbles. 

She shakes her head at him and tugs on his shoulders. He follows willingly, pursing his lips at the funny face she makes when his knees indeed crackle and pop. He settles beside her, acutely aware of how completely naked she is and how he hasn’t lost a single article of clothing. He grabs for the blanket on the back of his couch, but he stops when she rises to her knees beside him and straddles his denim-clad thigh. 

“We can’t both get bum knees,” he warns, even though he grasps her waist loosely. 

She scoffs at him as he looks up at her. He’s beginning to really love looking up at her. 

“Mulder… Can I make you come again?” 

A sudden icy coldness rushes through his veins when she asks. He thought maybe he’d slid under her radar, coming in his pants like a teenager. Like maybe she’d declare that enough for the night, and they could snuggle and he could pretend that he wasn’t different from any other man she’d ever been with, just for a little while longer. 

And even though he knows she’s not like the previous women he’d been with— settling, bargaining, apathetic— well, that’s really all he’s had experience with. 

“You don’t have to,” he starts, but she cuts him off with just one look alone. 

“I know I don’t.”

I want to. 

It goes unsaid. It doesn’t need to be said. 

She’s stroking his neck with the thumb of one hand and the other rests on his chest. Her lips are parted, and the heat of her center is extremely apparent even through his jeans. 

So he nods in affirmative, and no quicker is she reaching for the hem of his white tee shirt. His breath picks up again, and she gingerly works the hem up, up, until he’s lifting his arms and letting her tug it over his head. He can’t shake the feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop as she presses on his shoulders and urges him to lie back on the sofa. 

She properly straddles him and leans down to kiss him so gently that his rib cage twinges. He scratches his nails up her arched back and tries to relish the purring noise it coaxes from her. 

But then she’s pulling back. He watches her hands like they’re holding a loaded weapon as they smooth over his chest. She twirls the wiry hairs there before she traces the faint scars under his pecs. Her touch is so tender it nearly tickles. He’s torn between eyeing her fingers and her face, gauging her reaction. He comes up short of anything but admiration, especially as she tosses all her hair to one side of her neck to lean down and kiss them.

He can’t breathe. He feels like if he does, all of this will wither away into the ether and he’ll wake up alone on his couch. She trails her kisses down the center of his chest, and he strokes her hair and tries not to tear up at how precious she is to him. 

As her lips find his navel, he shudders and stops her with his hand on her cheek. 

“Scully— I uh… Things might be different than what you’re used to. Below the belt.”

She smiles a bright smile with a hint of sass. 

Stupid, he thinks, she’s a fucking doctor.

“I want to learn you, Mulder.”

He closes his eyes and sighs, sweeps his thumb across the constellations on her cheek. 

“Okay,” he whispers. 

His stomach muscles jump under her lips each time they press against his skin. He keeps his eyes closed and his hand glued to her face, feeling her jaw working as she litters little love bites into his Adonis belt. 

He jolts again when her hand grazes his cock to unbutton his jeans. 

“Can I?”

He finally works up the courage to look down at her. Her eyes are pleading, a deadly mix of adorable and downright naughty. 

“Please, Scully. I want you to.”

She hums and drags the zipper down. He throbs at the featherlight touch, and he feels a fresh sprinkling of sweat start to prickle at his temples. 

She tugs his jeans down, and he lifts his hips and pushes his underwear along with it with a gasp. 

Being so exposed like this normally makes him feel vulnerable and scared and insecure and inadequate. But with her hot breath at the crook of his knee and her lips turned into a smile and her eyes focused on his own, he just feels warm, cozy, content. 

And painfully hard. 

She looks up at him through those auburn lashes from between his legs and it’s surreal. He’s thought about this so much, but done so much mental gymnastics to make it work out in his head. Never did he ever think she’d just accept him as he is like she so lovingly does now. 

He strokes his fingers through her hair as her own glide up his thighs. He’s staring at her, and clocks the exact moment her eyes glance down to his crotch. But he doesn’t brace himself. He just watches as her eyes trace over his cunt, his cock. 

He’s always been pleased by it, the miracle of hormones and what they’ve done for his body and his mind. The way it shaped him into something much more masculine. His dick stands fairly proudly from its hood, enough that he feels it all day long, a euphoric, physical reminder that he’s not what he once dreaded he might become. 

It’s just that no one has ever understood it that way. Until now, at least, as Scully takes him between her thumb and forefinger. She’s so gentle yet clinical. If it were anyone else he’d feel a little freaked out. But it’s Scully, and she’s appreciating his body with her careful touch and curious gaze and her beautifully scientific mind. 

“Does this feel good?”

She’s stroking him perfectly, like she’s trained her entire life for it, like a madman. 

“You have no idea,” he tells her as his breath hitches.

She mumbles something into the sparse hairs on his upper thigh that he doesn’t quite catch.

“Hmm?”

“You’re incredible.”

He huffs, feels his breath get caught up in his lungs like they’re filled with tar. 

“I— hah, what? Why?”

She smiles all sweet and hums and squeezes his cock a little harder as she strokes it. He whines and his hips buck and her smile turns into a smirk. 

“Because I said so,” she tells him. 

He takes her word for it. Something about gift horses blinks in his mind before it’s erased entirely by the feeling of her dainty lips pressing a kiss to the very tip of his dick. 

“Oh my god,” he whispers, squeezing his eyes shut. 

“Can I suck it?”

“Oh my god,” he groans, “yes, yes please.”

It’s a heavy fucking feeling, the arousal and euphoria hitting him like a ton of bricks at those words coming from her lips.

Those perfect lips. The ones that part to make way for her small, pink tongue. He watches her stick it out, watches her eyes flicker down and then back up to meet his as she licks up the length of him. It’s white hot, blinding, like staring into the sun as he watches those lips wrap around his cock. 

He can’t do anything but stroke his fingers through her silky hair and try to remember to breathe. 

“God, Scully.”

She hums around him, closing her eyes, like she’s savoring some decadent dessert. The vibrations send sparks through his entire system. He tries really hard not to thrust up into her face. 

His eyes are glued to the way his cock disappears into her mouth and reappears again. She’s starting out slow and careful. Her tongue cradles the underside of him in a way that feels remarkably loving and tender. Her lips are softer than anything he’s ever felt before, sliding up and down him. The suction is perfect, not too much, not too little. She’s incredible, she’s everything. 

“It’s so good,” he breathes. 

He slips from her mouth. 

“Yeah?”

“Mmhm,” he nods.

“Good. Keep telling me what you like.”

His breath hitches again at her reassurance, and at the care she’s taking, and the sultry low register of her voice he’s never heard before. 

“Um… Fingers, too?”

She licks his cock, teasing little flicks of her tongue before she smirks. 

“You want me to fuck you, Mulder?”

He shudders. Christ. She’s fucking cheeky after an orgasm. 

He doesn’t remember wanting anything more than he wants this, ever. 

This isn’t something he’s ever asked of a bed partner. He’d either let them offer it, or go completely without. The fear of asking for too much from someone already expecting a different undercarriage always crippled him into settling. But it’s Scully, and she’s been so good to him, and the way she seems so into it turns him on beyond belief.

Just as he nods, she arches up, spreading her fingers and letting her palms slide up his torso. His chest is heaving when she reaches it, carding through the hair there briefly as she works her way up, up. He slams his eyes shut and groans when her dainty little hand wraps around his throat. No pressure, no squeezing, but the thought makes his prick twitch in the chilly air of his apartment. 

She bites her lip as she notices, but doesn’t say a thing, and for that he is eternally grateful. Another day. 

Instead, she reaches even farther to press her thumb to his bottom lip. 

“Open for me.”

He does, and before he can register what’s happening, he’s got two of her well-manicured fingers in his mouth. 

He moans around them, lifts his head to take them in as far as they can go. Their eyes lock in a gaze so heated Mulder feels himself blushing, despite having her appendages inside of him. Her pretty, light eyelashes flutter as he swirls his tongue around and between her fingers. 

“Fuck,” she sighs. 

He lifts his eyebrow and makes a questioning noise.

“You’re gorgeous,” she answers.

He nibbles her knuckles. 

Gorgeous? Cute, maybe. Handsome on a good day. But gorgeous? Says the most gorgeous woman he’s ever laid his eyes on. If he weren’t being promised the most quintessential blowjob of his life, he could die now, happy as a clam. 

Scully giggles his name and wiggles her fingers in his mouth to get him to let go, and so he does, reluctantly. They both watch a string of his slobber trail her fingertips, and then she’s pouncing up to kiss him. 

He’ll never get used to it, he’s sure. She hums into his mouth and licks along his bottom teeth and all he can do is let himself take it, lie back and enjoy every single second. 

She shifts on top of him a bit and he steadies her. His hands smooth over her naked sides but quickly clutch at her flesh when he feels her wet fingers circle his cock. His hips rock up into it, and he spreads his legs as wide as he can on the cramped couch. 

She takes the hint, pressing one finger into him achingly slowly. The difference is immediately stark. Her fingers are slender and short compared to his own, and so much more gentle than he’s ever felt. She slides the second one in right after, and his mouth goes slack against her own. 

Dana Scully is inside of him. 

“Fuck, fuck.”

“Okay?” 

“So okay.”

She chuckles against his jaw, her breath hot where she nips at his five o’clock shadow. She presses in and out of him at a torturous pace as she sucks his skin between her teeth. He shifts to give her more access and thinks mark me, everywhere, please. I’m yours.

Instead, she travels back down the length of his body. When he musters up the strength to open his eyes again, she’s smiling up at him. It’s sunny and light and beyond his wildest dreams. Then she crooks her fingers and that sweet grin turns into a smirk and he gasps and clenches around her. 

“There?” 

“Please.”

He is not above begging, apparently. His leg slips off the couch and he braces the ball of his foot on the floor. He rocks his hips into the rhythm of her curling fingers and tries not to shrivel at the audible evidence of how fucking soaked he is. 

Her free hand grabs his own one, lying useless on the couch beside him. She guides it to the back of her head and he nearly chokes on his own saliva. His fingers tangle through her hair just as she lowers her mouth onto him again. 

“Use my mouth,” she speaks against his cock. 

It’s so over. He’d be embarrassed if it were anyone else, surprised, even. But it’s her. Of course his cunt flutters around her fingers at her words. Of course his cock twitches in her mouth, against the rough buds of her tongue. 

His mind won’t quiet down as the watches her take him, a babbling brook inside his own head, how long he’s wanted this, how often he’s thought about, how desperately he’s ached for the sights and sounds and feelings right before him. He can’t stop thinking about how much better it is than he ever imagined, how every one of his nerve endings are ten times as sensitive under Scully’s ministrations. And, of course, like the greedy little bastard he is, he can’t help but to look forward to the next time despite the fact that he’s still fucking her mouth. 

He’s fucking Scully’s mouth. He’s using it, like she’d told him to do. And Scully’s fucking him. His grip on her hair turns his knuckles white, and she whines around his cock, and her eyebrows do that adorable thing they do a lot where they knit together. 

But then her two dainty fingers press hard and insistent, up against the spot she’s had no trouble assaulting, and the coil in his gut completely snaps. 

He cries out her name, and God’s name, and a plethora of obscenities he’s sure neither would approve of. He knows he’s being dramatic but he also knows he’s not completely in control of his body. All he can do is hold Scully’s head in place and grind out his orgasm against her mouth, against the gentle suckling of her tongue against his pulsing, twitching cock, and against her fingers that stay dutifully curled up and still, just for his pleasure. 

And to her credit, she only comes up gasping for breath once Mulder’s entire body goes limp beneath her. 

He’s wet, like, everywhere. His thighs are messy and every piece of skin that’s touching his cheap leather couch is covered in a sheen of sweat. His hair is damp on his forehead and his eyes, Christ, he’s got tears streaming down the sides of his face. 

He covers his eyes with his forearm when he realizes. He tries to take a deep, grounding breath too. Instead, it comes out all shuddery and broken. 

His voice is hoarse when he speaks up. 

“God, Scully.”

He chances a peek down at her and regrets it immediately. He watches her slip her fingers from him and promptly insert them into her mouth with a hum, like she’s savoring the remnants of a delicious meal. It makes him groan, and he doesn’t even have the energy to try and stifle it. As if that wasn’t punishment enough, she smirks around her own fingers like she’s just debunked his biggest theory yet. 

“Thank you,” she says, as both her hands fall to Mulder’s trembling thighs. 

He huffs instead of speaking what’s on his mind. But he thinks it, especially as she crawls up the length of him to kiss his bitten lips, and as she curls her body into his. He thinks it when she allows him to cover them both with his scratchy blanket, and as she rests her head over his rapid mess of a heartbeat. 

“This feels right, Mulder.”

It’s a quiet, secret whisper into the still of his apartment. He breaks the serenity with a hearty laugh, the kind that overwhelms your belly and bubbles up through your throat without permission. Along with it come the words that have been on the tip of his tongue for the last 24 hours.

“Scully, you’re crazy.”

Tagging some people I think would be into this!

@sp00kymulderr @for-a-longlongtime @perotovar @sin-djarin @seventeenpins @rebel-held @lotusbxtch @sixhours @amanitacowboy @starorbit-bliss @bby-got-books @demonsandbullets @mulderfrl

[idontplaytrack]

MY CHARMED ONE [10]

Capri Donahue x fem! reader

Warnings: coarse language

In which Capri and reader’s trip to San Francisco leads to a discovery (not) Final part!

‘My Charmed One’ masterlist here

“Capri, you’re our sister.”

“What is this? Some kind of sick joke? I don’t have siblings?”

“We can prove it.”

“Okay.” Capri nodded, her arms crossed, “So, prove it, Paige.”

“Your Mom’s name is Paulina. Your Dad’s name is Anthony.”

“Are you in on this?” Capri looked at you almost accusingly.

“Capri, why the fuck do you think that? You suggested that we came to San Francisco. I didn’t bring it up.” You retorted.

“Maybe we should all take some deep breaths and calm down.” The oldest Halliwell stood between you and Capri.

“Halliwell is your Mom’s maiden name.” Phoebe spoke up, reentering the living room with a thick photo album. “Look- there she is.”

“I can’t believe this. Of all people, we ran into you?”

“No, actually…we ran into you.”

“Fuck’s sake.” Capri grumbled, “What the hell is going on?”

“Capri, we’re witches.”

“We?”

“Do something.” Paige shrugs.

“Do what?”

“Anything. You have powers, right?”

Oh, shit.

You looked at a guy who introduced himself to be Leo. He only shrugged.

“Yeah.” Capri nodded, looking at the sisters, freaked out and confused. Then she flings a book off the side table with a flick of her fingers.

“Telekinesis.” Leo remarked. Then all three of them showed you and Capri their powers.

“How come I have— I still don’t get how I got it.”

“Halliwells all have powers.”

“I almost died from electrocution. I figured that somehow it stuck because well, I couldn’t move on. So what, actually— so based on what you all have been saying, I can’t be with a mortal?”

"Yeah, I mean..."

"No, no wait. Piper is human- Leo is what, a dead guy. How'd that work?" You interjected.

"This literally does not make any sense, How the hell did you know where we were—"

~~~~~

"Capri, wake up!" You nudged her, seeing her being so tense in her sleep. She gasps, eyes shooting open as she sat up. "I—" She panted, hugging you, "Oh, my God. I had a fucking dream that I had powers because I was a witch! A Halliwell."

"Capri, that show is fiction." You assured, "Maybe we should watch less of that now."

"Well, somehow with Alex calling me witch all the time, I think it's starting to stick. And haunt me in my sleep."

“You’re fine.”

“I’m a freak.”

“Capri…you’re alright. Ignore Alex.”

“What am I, then? Freak of nature? I mean, same thing, right?”

“Capri, you’re alright. I don’t care that you have powers. So what if you do? It’s actually been so helpful.”

“I know, baby. It’s just…scary to me that I’m now suddenly so different from other people. Why, why me? I don’t get it— Why didn’t it go away? y/n, no one else knows that I have powers: only your family and Alex do. I’m just scared of the day I randomly have to use my powers and other people see it. Who knows what they’ll do to me? Report me to the police? Burn me at the stake? The future, y/n. What do we do if we do stay together so long that we get married and want to start a family. How’s that going to work out? Am I able to carry the baby? Will they get my freakish powers?”

You pondered over her words, tears stinging in both your eyes and hers. Capri was right. The future had become a way bigger unknown. You’ve tried to be optimistic, and so did she. But that wouldn’t make your problems go away. What was the future going to be like? For you? For Capri? Your family? Currently-hypothetical kids? How was a seemingly small yet baffling change in circumstances going to change the course of your lives? But no, you couldn’t spiral. You couldn’t. For Capri’s sake.

As much as she was saying all of this is a state of anxiety, there were very much real concerns. That you two had to work through together.

She refused to go back to sleep, and despite several suggestions, she wasn’t interested in any of them- she chose to sit in the living room. Capri exited the room so quickly that it left you dumbfounded. And definitely so damn worried that you followed after her as soon as you snapped out of it. “I’ll be fine, y/n. Just give me a minute.” She looked up and saw you looking at her, snivelling.

“Okay.” You agreed quietly, retreating to your shared bedroom and sitting down in your side of the bed. Staring out the window, your head was thrown back against the headboard. The tears were getting caught in your throat, causing an immense amount of pain as you tried to hold that in.

It’s been obstacle after obstacle: from Capri’s near-death experience to her injury— everything in between knocked the two of you down. It was beginning to seem like a losing game. You tried to stay positive, and most days it worked. Everything was as fine as it could be, but these moments? Where Capri gets so stuck in her own head about her fears, anxieties and doubts about different things. You tried to help in any way you could, but sometimes you simply couldn’t intervene and had to let her cry it out or scream— anything. It broke your heart, but recovery was never linear. Reality was harsh. Life wasn’t a dream, otherwise nothing would be going wrong.

————

When you woke up again, the sun had risen and you were no longer sitting up like you were. You were laying down. You didn’t lay back down. The last thing you remembered doing was sitting in bed and staring out the window. Squinting in confusion, you shielded your eyes from the sun while you sat up. Looking over to your side, Capri was asleep. A sigh of relief escaped your lips as you carefully got out of bed to freshen up for the day. While you brushed your teeth, you looked at Capri while she slept soundly and wondered what time she got back into bed. Hoping that it wasn’t too long after she went out to sit in the living room.

After that, you went into the kitchen. She washed the dishes you left in the sink because you cut your finger making dinner. The dried up flowers in the vase were thrown out, the cute little message sticky note on the fridge was changed too.

‘for all the things my hands have held, the best by far, is you’

You scurried to get a sticky note from the stack kept on the coffee table and a pen, writing, ‘the fact that you are trying is a proof that you are strong’

You tiptoed into the bedroom and stuck it onto the bathroom mirror for Capri. Returning to the kitchen, your gaze lands on the note on the fridge again before you pulled the door open in order to get a couple of ingredients out. You were going to make Capri here favourite breakfast— french toast and a cup of cappuccino. You went over to the pantry to make sure she still had the coffee pods before you started making the food.

You and Capri also had the house to yourselves since her parents were out of town for the weekend. And it was always nice ‘playing house’ with her for the duration of it. The best thing of all, was the privacy. But hey, that has been the last thing on your mind since she got hurt so you’ve just been taking matters into your own hands lately. But of course, she didn’t need to know that — what you were doing in your own time, in your own room. God, you hope she didn’t know. Capri could just read your mind sometimes. Maybe you had a tell, you don’t know, but eh. It wasn’t anything to be ashamed of.

You did give her questions some thought. But it didn’t seem nearly as scary after the heightened emotions died down. And, even after you were done making breakfast, she still had not woke up yet. So you decided to go into the room and take a peek. Right as you were about to leave, you hear her stir in her sleep. You turned around again on your heel, seeing her eyes open up.

“Hi.” She says with a small smile.

“Good morning.” You responded with a smile too, “Breakfast is done. I’m gonna go lay the table, and I’m gonna let you go get freshened up whenever you’re ready.”

“Okay.” She nodded, cautiously flipping the blanket off her body and stepping off the bed. You gave her a side hug and pressed a kiss to her cheek, brushing your thumb across her knuckles.

Seeing her walk out from the bedroom and coming down the stairs, you pulled out a chair for her and waited. Without a word, she sits down and so do you.

“Thanks, babe.” She says while grabbing the fork, “I really, really appreciate it. For everything you’ve done for me, done with me. Everything. Thank you for not giving up on me.”

You stretched your hand out for her to hold, “You, Capri Donahue, are my charmed one. I can’t lose you— not again and I promise you, you will never lose me. I am so beyond lucky to have you in my life the way that I do, especially now. I literally owe you my life. You saved me and it was all thanks to your power. But it was still you, you chose to save me when you could’ve watched it happen. We wouldn’t be here without you.”

She squeezes your hand, the smile on her face growing bigger. “Charmed one, huh? I am pretty lucky, aren’t I? I lived, and I have you— the most beautiful person I’ve ever laid my eyes on, to call my girlfriend. My partner for life. But I’d like to believe that even when death eventually does do us part, we’ll still be together with each other through it all. I’m yours and you are mine…no matter what universe we’re in.”

————

🏷️ Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @reneeswif3 @ludoesartnstuffs @pda128

[dual-fantasy]

duncan is simultaneously the funniest fucking guy and super tragic to me. i think hes The Worst Ever because its a way of acting out against his dad. funniest shit ever and devastating. Everything about duncney as a whole leaves me in hysterics and also clutching my chest crying punching holes into the walls. he is killer phoebe bridgers to me. can the killer in him tame the fire in (various romantic partners he swore were the one then broke up with 2 days later). or is there nothing left to do for them. hes sick of the chase but hes hungry for blood. and theres nothing he can do. hes a dog motif in a really specific street dog way you just have to understand. in a wolf way, even. but in a rabid stranded starving way. he is the only heartbreaker as well btw. he'll be the loser in this game he'll be the bad guy in the play. eric is a duncney song but in a way you would not expect. it is the duncney duncan pov song ever actually. she can come closer he'll let her hurt him how she chooses. this view of her of the top of her head makes him forgive her. her skin cries a soft weep like his. his price how about just a part of her cause he wants. shouldve been me is THE duncney/gwuncan song ever. courtney pov. when she saw the girl looked just like her and it broke her heart the lengths he went to have her to get to have her. cause she hasnt given him what he needs. he wanted her but couldnt reach her. so he went into his memory and relived all the ways he still wants her. shes sorry it shouldve been her. thought ive had in my head for over a year. its literally Them. a loving feeling is the aleduncan 90th breakup song. theyre compatible but only behind closed doors. they mean a lot to me actually jsut like . In General duncan and duncan ships by extension are mitskipilled. mitskimaxxing, even. GRAVE DOG!!!!

frrrr you're so real but if im going to comment on Duncan I need to confess something. Ive never finished watching action. ive gotten to like ep 20 I still have literally never finished it. I know that he has a lot of moments in there but I haven't finished it for some reason. I understand you but also I'm not as insane. feel free to keep screaming about him because I completely trust your opinion . I'll probably finish action soon because you are dragging me into the duncan hellhole. I love characters who are so silly and stupid and also absolutely devastating if you think about it too hard. literally peak characters.

dog motif but in the way that he was abandoned by everyone because they weren't aware he was actually a wolf. he keeps finding new homes but he gets kicked out after a day. he's rabid and scary and he's desperate for a secure home, but he can't admit that because it goes against his nature. everything hes ever known.

I love duncney too btw. Courtney is such an interesting character to me but I cannot put it into words. I love her though. absolutely love her. she's so complicated and nuanced. Courtney is for the intellectuals (joking). same with gwuncan.

also I'm insane about aleduncan. not to be kind of basic but they're everything to me. they can only be with eachother if they're alone. insane about them

I don't have any song recommendations bc school has been fucking my ass recently. moving to an online school while being tech illiterate is actually horrible </3 but your music taste is soooo good. actually top tier. real and genuinely incredible. he's mitskimaxxing, lushpilled, puberty2mogging. grave dog you're so real always

[spcherryygirl]

uhm, hi! is this thing on? 🎤🎤🎤🎤

okis, hi hello i'm here to ask with the sweetest of please for an order of lover with a side of songs 😋😋

everything looks so tempting, though 😖

i will be coming back!! 💌

YES,YES IT'S ON!!

LOVER — charlie sampson from betting on you. you talk kind, move gently, and love as naturally as breathing. you don't forget people's birthdays(!!! i will die on this cliff), and you somehow always say the right thing without even trying (seriously. like, like, for real.).

you do believe in people, in love, in figuring things out. even when it's complicated, even when it's difficult. even when it's messy.

charlie did not have such a great idea about love at the beginning of the book's first chapter. he,, perhaps a little world-weary. a realist. but he still has the tendency to plunge headlong into love, or fall in love at least, without even realizing it. he tries to coolly play dumb, act as if it means nothing, but the reality is he catches feelings quick. he goes in headfirst, before even looking around for water.

you, however, don't quicken love. you yearn for it, but not the kind of love that extinguishes itself like a flame without fuel. you want something to feel like home. you've experienced platonic love—intense, comfortable, genuine. you've squeezed it tight, let it fill up, took care of it. and you'll continue squeezing that type of love.

you're patient, he's a... bit. but he's willing to wait.

the other individual is . . . ding! ding! ding! timothy jackson drake !!

SUGH tim drake,, yesyes. sooo again! you're soft in a world that makes softness difficult. you're kind, even when it wears you out. and somehow, that's what attracts tim to you in the beginning. not merely your kindness, but the one beneath it. you’re sweet, but not the kind of sweet that gets stepped on (and if people do that, it’s my fists).

you set boundaries while making sure no one would be mad at you, and he values you for it. admires how you are able to be both soft and firm w/o ever once raising your voice.

you’re not flashy. you’re not loud. but you’re everything tim never knew he needed. something quiet. something real. something safe.

LEO VALDEZ !! vv same w miss kj's because the hcs were a lil bit inspired by u guys🤞🏼,,, && yeah. BUT. you’re the calm in his chaos. the soft voice when his mind is loud. you’re the one who laughs at his jokes( and he says i'm so american/j) not just because they’re funny ( sometimes ), but because you see him. really see him. & that means more to leo than he can ever put into words.

i acc have lots & lots more 😭 it was supposed to be one character only,,, i forgot im indecisive.

SONGS — juna by clairo , falling behind by laufey , not a lot, just forever by adrianne lenker , ribs by lorde , ripples by beabadoobee , motion sickness by phoebe bridgers , ivy by taylor swift , sweet by cigarettes after sex

[greencheekconure27]

Some Yeomen of the Guard headcanons:

The Lieutenant was looking to hire a jester because everyone kept telling him he's got no sense of humour, and he decided he needs to improve that.(Ironically he's one of the few people who would've found Wilfred's jokes funny)

Phoebe is very adventurous: she grew up hearing all kinds of tales of derring-do from her father and the other veterans (who all doted on her). She has dreamed in participating in one since she was a child, and not as a damsel in distress either. Which is another reason she immediately seizes the opportunity to rescue Fairfax

She talks Leonard into teaching her some fencing afterwards, and immediately uses her new knowledge to put the fear of god into Wilfred.

Jack can't swim. Elsie had to rescue him from drowning more than once. (It doesn't help that Jack's at his wittiest when insulting people; he gets thrown into rivers a lot because of this)

Leonard really didn't like how Fairfax treated Elsie at the wedding. He almost came rescue her when she called for "Leonard, my own" out of sheer habit. Phoebe had to hold him back.

Elsie is more in love with the idea of Fairfax than with the man himself. Coincidentally, said idea closely resembles the real Leonard.

Phoebe has a somewhat dark sense of humour, possibly as a result of all the executions she saw growing up.

Money notwithstanding, Jack Point wasn't happy about the whole "marrying off Elsie " deal at all. But old Bridget Maynard was really sick, and he was well aware they weren't making nearly enough to help her in time. So he put on a brave front for Elsie's sake and encouraged her to take up on the opportunity, accidentally alienating her in the process.

He's pretty much useless in a fight, but usually makes up for it by being extremely good at running away and dodging hits.

Fairfax and his cousin look very alike and have similar personalities, a fact that has contributed a lot to their rivalry.

Poltwhistle and Fairfax have been trying to kill each other for years, to the point that both of them see it almost as a sport.There may have been other, less lucky murder-y cousins in the past as well.

Jack stole the Hugh Ambrose book from the archbishop's library, originally in an attempt to find out what his employer finds funny, but after he got whipped and thrown out he decided not to return it. The jokes are all terrible. He used to entertain Elsie by reading them aloud and commenting on them.

Even the yeomen find Dame Carruthers' enthusiasm for all things Tower (especially the bloody parts) deeply unnerving. Wilfred and Kate are about the only people who don't try to quietly escape when she starts monologuing.

Kate thinks her aunt is very cool, actually.

[boyswillbebutch]

Me explaining why all the songs on my oc playlist are there- Very Long Post apologies!!

Tagging @locke-n-k3y since they were interested :] I also repeat myself a lot here and if you have any questions pls send them my way!! This is a very mixed explanation of my story in no timeline order so understandable if you have questions!

Also now tagging @guess-how-i-stole-this-body since i think this is the one you meant? sorry if it isn’t!

The playlist in question:

Kiss Me, Son Of God by They Might Be Giants: Janette and her relationship with her cult status (She’s the leader) and her journey to get there

Gnaw by Alex G: The first half is about Adele and Josh in highschool AKA when they met and the second is Josh talking to his son Ryan

Sarah by Alex G: About Claire, Ryan’s older sister who dies later in the storyLike Real People Do by Hozier: All the romantic relationships in the story basically but mainly Karma (Ryan and Carmela)

Twin Size Mattress by The Front Bottoms: Josh and Adele’s relationship in a way

Motion Sickness by Phoebe Bridgers: Dana talking about her ex

Feel Good Inc. by Gorillaz: The cryptid trio!! (Dana, Carmela and Ryan the main three) mainly just a song they’d sing too

Funkytown by Lipps Inc.: I imagine the cryptid trio dancing to this hehe :]]

Lone Star by The Front Bottoms: Maria and Daniel (Carmela’s parents)

Beachboy by McCafferty: RYAN!! I don’t know how to explain it tbh but yeah

I Hate My Mom by GRLwood: Claire and Adele’s (her mum) relationship

Freaks by Surf Cruse: The cryptid trio in the middle of the story

Shut Me Up by Mindless Self Indulgence: Again a song mainly just vibes but its also Jadele (Janette and Adele)

Numbers by TEMPOREX: Another ryan song!! Again idk how to explain it

The Villain I Appear To Be by Connor Spiotto and Molly Pease: Janette!! And her trying to convince herself that she isn’t a bad person

Tears Over Beers by Modern Baseball: Josh talking about Adele 

bad idea right? by Olivia rodrigo: So this is a bit of an inside joke with me and my friend but its basically the song that’d play for one of the scenes with Carmela and Ryan (but downplayed to just kissing lmao) 

bad idea! by girl in red: JADELE!! Janette and Adele. If you listen to the song its kind of self explanatory?

Why Am I Like This? by Orla Gartland: Dana! A dana song for the ages. She is not doing welll

This Is Love by Air Traffic Controller: Janette and Adele in the midway point of their relation/situationship

Gilded Lily by Cults: Janette and the cult she runs thanks to her mum

First Love/Late Spring: Claire. also one of dana’s dads, Noah

Me and My Husband by Mitski: Maria and Daniel’s relationship

Nobody by Mitski: Carmela!! Also if adele threw a pity party she doesn’t deserve :D

Be Gay, Do Drugs, Hail Satan by Super Cassette: Adele and Josh when they were younger in the 90’s

Dead Girls by Penelope Scott: Claire again!! This explains her death D:

I Bet On Losing Dogs by Mitski: Janette and her son/nephew Oliver (she adopted her nephew after her sister died)

Brutus by The Buttress: Janette and her time in the cult and the way she killed her friend Huan Lin when she was younger

Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus: Josh talking about Adele in the 90’s/early early 200’s 

Ma Belle Evangeline from Princess And The Frog: Noah talking about his late wife Laura

Dream Sweet In Sea Major by Miracle Musical: Claire except she didn’t die at sea

Don’t Try Suicide by Queen: Claire’s death. but in a goofy sense :]]

Thermodynamic Lawyer Esq, G.F.D by Will Wood and The Tapeworms: Janette again!! Basically her feeling sillyyy/hj

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road by Elton John: Ryan :[

Need 2 by Pinegrove: What I imagine plays when the cult building burns down (also this scene is where Janette dies for the first time in the story) 

Buddy Holly by Weezer: Josh- he is a big fan of Weezer

Trees by McCafferty: Josh talking about his childhood

She Wolf by Shakira: The cryptid trio would sing this :D

The Moon Will Sing by The Crane Wives: Mainly just vibes I think it suits the story

Murders by Miracle Musical: Again just vibes but it could also be when Janette killed Huan

Ring Of Fire by Johnny Cash: What would play while the cult building is burning down if this was a show

DO YOU REMEMBER ME??? by emily jeffri: Janette talking to Adele when she comes back to life

The Bug Collector by Haley Heynderickx: Maria when she left for another city and her grief and regret about leaving Carmela behind

Tongues and Teeth by The Crane Wives: Janette talking about her and Adele’s relationship (In a way since Janette is aro and its also her trying to come up with ways to convince Adele to not date her since Adele does not take no for an answer akdhdkhdj)

Everybody Loves Somebody by Dean Martin: Noah and his husband Jose

Nice 2 Know Ya- Instrumental by Sylendanna: Again just the cryptid trio vibing 

Bleed Magic by I DON’T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME: Adele talking about her and janette’s relationship

Bicycle Race by Queen: Just vibes :]]

Chinatown by Shakey Graves: Josh talking about Adele while she’s cheating on him

Two Birds by Regina Spektor: Claire and Ryan (the siblings ever augh)

I WANNA BE YOUR SLAVE by Måneskin: Jadele (janette and adele)

Closer by Nine Inch Nails: Also Jadele do not question meeee/lh

Wet by Dazey and the Scouts: Maria and her feelings about being in a relationship

SOLUS by emily jeffri: V I B E S

Washing Machine Heart by Mitski: Maria again :[[

Murder Song (5,4,3,2,1) by Aurora: Adele and Josh

Fell In Love With A Girl by The White Stripes: Adele and Josh in primary school

The King by Sarah Kinsley: I think this would play over Ryan and Carmela’s kiss if this was a showwww

Memento Momori: the most important thing in the world by Will Wood and The Tapeworms: Janette talking to Carmela

Night Shift by Lucy Dacus: JANETTE AND HER MANY COMPLEX FEELINGS ABOUT ADELE it’s such a janette song guyssss

Sober To Death by Car Seat Headrest: Josh talking about Adele

Babooshka by Kate Bush: VIBES AGAIN

Uptown Girl by Billy Joel: Noah talking about Jose just swap girl to guy

Digital Silence by Peter McPoland: The story as a whole

Time/Space by Alex G: Oliver, Janette’s son/nephew

Non, je ne regrette rien by Èdith Piaf: A song that’d be playing while Ryan’s arm gets chopped off by Carmela

Barracuda by Heart: This just gives off Carmela vibes to me

Highway to Hell by AC/DC: Janette when she dies the first time/hj

(Don’t Fear) The Reaper by Blue Öyster Cult: I think it also fits the story as a whole

We Didn’t Start The Fire by Billy Joel: The cryptid trio

So You Wanna Marry Daisy by Spence Hood: Adele. nothing else lmao

Duvet by bôa: Maria again!!

Be Nice To Me by The Front Bottoms: Ryan talking to Carmela after she cut off his arm

You’re Not Special Babe by Orla Gartland: Josh talking to Adele

The Chicken by Bo Burnham: Literally this song explains Maria and Daniel and a bit of Carmela’s story as well

Habits by Genevieve Stokes: Dana song :]]

Where The Streets Have No Name by U2: What I imagine plays on the last epsiode as the end credits

It’s Been So Long by The Living Tombstone: Janette talking about Oliver (FNAF SONG LETS GOOO) 

Never Been Better by half•alive and Orla Gartland: Basically just Noah and Maria (they are best friends!!) 

Poison Oak by Bright Eyes: Josh :] love him sooo much

Dullahan by Worthikids: Dana song again!! She also listens to music like this

West Coast by FIDLAR: The cryptid trio

Goodbye, My Danish Sweetheart by Mitski: Maria since she is one of my saddest characters D:

Mad IQ’s by I DON’T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME: JADELE BELOVEDS TOXIC YURIIII!! 

Runs in the Family by Amanda Palmer: Janette and her family- also Maria

Kiss Ur Face Forever by Orla Gartland: Karma! (Carmela and Ryan)

Missus Piano by Rio Romeo: Adele talking to Janette

Slipping Through My Fingers by ABBA: Ryan at Claire’s death scene and Oliver at Janette’s death

Hermit The Frog by MARINA: Janette in highschool

Step On Me by The Cardigans: Janette talking to Adele

This Hurts by Mindless Self Indulgence: Janette, Adele and Josh (they’d make the best polycule if they were all good people and nothing bad happened akdhkdhd)

Molly by Mindless Self Indulgence: Janette in highschool againnnn

Witness by Mindless Self Indulgence: V I B E S 

Lights Out by Mindless Self Indulgence: Dana’s taste in music

Personal Jesus by Mindless Self Indulgence: Some aspects of Janette and Adele’s relationship

Join Us (And Die) from TGWDLM: Janette when she comes back from the dead

Inevitable from TGWDLM: Adele if she was in TGWDLM

Lifeboat from Heathers: Claire if she had a musical song

Bed of Roses by Mindless Self Indulgence: Basically janette’s final death since she also does in a bed of roses in a sense!!

Baby Hotline by Jack Stauber’s Micropop: Josh and Adele (if Josh hadn’t transitioned)

Agape by Nicholas Britell: What would play in one of the episodes :DD

Kilby Girl by The Backseat Lovers: Karma!! Ryan and carmela beloveds <33

suffering by Amélie Farren: Carmela <333

Black Friday from Black Friday: Vibess also carmela talking to Janette

Ghost of Chicago by Noah Floersch: Ryan talking about Carmela i love them so much guys kshdjdhd

Hello My Old Heart by The Oh Hellos: Janette when she’s dying (for the last time in the story so for context she dies twice) 

If you read this far I am giving you a hug, a high five for finger guns!!! Thank you for reading my oc rambles

[quailfence]

[Image description: Thirty images, a mix of text and screencaps from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

1: "I hadn't met his kind before. (highlight) His misericord face - really, like a joke on his father (end highlight) - blurred"

2: "Garak: You could say that. Tain is directly responsible for my being exiled from Cardassia. Odo: Then I don't understand… Garak: (finishing the thought) Why I'm risking my life to help him? Odo: Exactly."

3: "What father leaves you for a knife? Chooses his god instead?"

4 and 5: Tain says, "Then you should let him die. And please, tell Garak I miss him"

6: "Tain: Hello, Garak… it's good of you to come. It spares me the trouble of having to send someone else to kill you…"

7: (highlight) A father is bound to kill his favorite son, (end highlight) and to his father's cherishing the beloved answers Yes.

(Highlight) The rest of the week, I hid from my father, grateful I was not prized. But how deserted he looked, with no son who pleased him (end highlight).

8 and 9: Garak is talking to Tain, with Odo standing behind him. He says, "I never betrayed you! At least, not in my heart."

10: "I make you a box of darkness with a bird in its heart. Voltas of acoustics, instinct & metaphor. (Underline) It is not enough To love you. It is not enough to want you destroyed (end underline).

11 and 12: Martok says, "He was convinced that you would come." Garak replies, "He knew I had no choice. Tain."

13: "I hate you for what you did And I miss vou like a little kid"

14: "Garak: I should never have come here. I should have let that monster die forgotten and alone. Bashir: Frankly, I'm glad you came. Misery loves company. Garak: All my life I've done nothing but try to please that man. (Underline) I let him mold me, let him turn me into a mirror image of himself, and how did he repay me? With exile (end underline). But I forgave him. And here, in the end, I thought maybe, just maybe, he could forgive me."

15: "'You were my father,' He wanted to say 'So why couldn't you be my father?'"

16: "Tain: Elim? Elim, is that you? Garak: It's me. Tain: Everything's gone dark. I can't see you. Are you alone? Garak: Yes. There's no one else but you and me. (Liar, Bashir is there.)"

17: "Does anybody actually know how to talk to their father"

18 and 19: Tain is lying down and says, " I should have killed your mother before you were born. You have always been a weakness I can't afford."

20: "I have my mother's mouth and my father's eyes; on my face they are still together."

21: "Garak: I'II do as you ask on one condition. That you don't ask me this favour as a mentor, or a superior officer, but as a father asking his son. Tain: You're not my son. Garak: Father. Father, you're dying. For once in your life, speak the truth."

22: "We are hard on each other and call it honesty,"

23: "If I love you is that a fact or a weapon?"

24: Garak says, :Listen, Enabran."

25: "#the word 'father' rotted in my mouth"

26: "Tain: Elim, remember that day in the country? You must have been almost five. Garak: How can I forget it? It was the only day. Tain: I can still see you on the back of that riding hound. You must have fallen off a dozen times but you never gave up. Garak: I remember limping home. You held my hand. Tain: I was very proud of you that day."

27: "Are you crying over what we've lost"

28 and 29: Tain lies down, his eyes closed, presumably dead. Garak looks at him.

30: "by not being near each other, hardly at all?" End description.]

[Plain text: Kate Clanchy, love / 3x20 / Elizabeth Lindsey Rogers, questions about the father / 2x22 / 3x20 / Li-Young Lee, descended from dreamers / 3x20 / Terrence Hayes, american sonnet for my past and future assassin / 5x14 / Phoebe Bridgers, motion sickness / 5x14 / Amatullah Bourdon, and my father’s love is nothing next to god’s will / 5x14 / a text from my friend / 5x14 / Warsan Shire, teaching my mother how to give birth/ 5x14 / Margaret Atwood, we are hard / tag on a Sharon Olds poem / Frank O'Hara, lisztiana. End plain text.]

@startrekdescribed

kate clanchy, love / 3x20 / elizabeth lindsey rogers, questions about the father / 2x22 / 3x20 / li-young lee, descended from dreamers / 3x20 / terrence hayes, american sonnet for my past and future assassin / 5x14 / phoebe bridgers, motion sickness / 5x14 / amatullah bourdon, and my father’s love is nothing next to god’s will / 5x14 / a text from my friend / 5x14 / warsan shire, teaching my mother how to give birth / 5x14 / margaret atwood, we are hard / tag on a sharon olds poem / frank o’hara, lisztiana

[starspangledsteeve]

*goes to play my emotional support song*

...it's gone.

[meetmymouth]

AUBADE ; HARRY STYLES

WORD COUNT: 12k

warnings: smut, smoking, alcohol consumption.

thank you @harryandhockey​ and @burberryharold​ for beta-ing this baby, you guys are the sweetest angels! 

When the doorbell goes off for the third time that night, she groans and tosses the lipstick on her bed, then makes her way towards the door. Through the stained glass, she sees a tall figure and rolls her eyes.

“Look, this is the third time- oh. It’s you.”

The blonde raises her eyebrows, “Who were you expecting? Also wow, I feel so welcome, thank you.”

“Sorry,” the door closes behind Charlotte, and they walk inside.

Once in the tiny kitchen, kettle already on, she takes time to coat her eyelashes with mascara.

“Who did you think I was, that was quite the welcome.”

“Couple of girls kept knocking on the door. Something about a survey. I’ve no idea. Hey, can you help me put this on?” She takes a necklace out of her jean pocket and hands it over.

It’s Thursday, which means happy hour at their local pub and after that, they’d take N31 towards Camden to listen to a friend of Charlotte’s, an upcoming indie artist. She usually didn’t like going out on weekdays since she worked 8 to 4 and she would need to wake up at 6AM sharp to get ready and leave her flat for her Friday shift. But ever since Charlotte started working for the touring musician Harry Styles, they saw each other twice- once when they toured England and the second one being right before Charlotte left for tour. Being close friends since school, it was safe to say that she felt her absence and missed her friend dearly but were also so proud of her for everything she’d achieved.

So when Charlotte came home during their break, she wanted to spend as much time as possible with her friend and if it meant spending her Friday shift hungover while cleaning up animal urine and puke from all kinds of animals, then so be it.

“There,” Charlotte pats her on the neck after she clasps the necklace and she turns around, hand reaching to turn the kettle off.

“Ta. When are we leaving? And do you think I should go for my Adidas or the boots?” She points at the heeled boots, half white half black by the kitchen entrance and Charlotte follows her gaze as she sips the hot beverage.

She looks at the boots, then her, then the boots again, “The boots for fuckin’ sure. They’re sick- where’d you get them?”

“Depop,” She lets out a chuckle, “Think they’re Topshop, ‘m not sure. Should we leave? Y’know I walk dead slow and now that I’m wearin’ the boots…”

“You really do...go get your shit, I’ll wash this.”

They’re gathered around a round table, the green paint of the wooden table beginning to chip, and everyone’s got drinks of their own, G&T being the most popular choice. There are only five of them, Charlotte, her, Phoebe and her girlfriend Jamie, and they’re chatting about anything and everything until Charlotte turns to her, straw between her red lips.

“So-”

“Oh dear, what have you done,” she cuts her off and earns a glare from her, and from the corner of her eye, she sees Phoebe and Jamie cross their arms as if they’re getting ready for their usual bickering.

“Fuck you,” Charlotte sighs, “I didn’t do anything. I just invited some more people to Julien’s show and wanted to...kinda ask if that’s alright with you”

“Oh,” she looks around the table, finding the other girls looking at their phones and she turns to Charlotte, “It’s fine. Who are they?”

Phoebe snorts at that and her eyebrows raise in question. She gives Phoebe a look, but Charlotte’s quicker as she throws a damp tissue at the blonde and Jamie laughs when it lands back on Charlotte’s lap. “You know Sarah from the band?”

“Oh, yeah!”

She remembers meeting Sarah at Charlotte’s new flat after she moved to London, the brunette bringing a cute snake plant and a weird- but cute tea set as a housewarming gift and they got on well. They talked about plants, Sarah giving her tips on how to keep certain plants alive, and she asked her lots of questions about her experience being a woman, especially a drummer in the music industry. Sarah was very soft spoken; she spoke as if she was talking to a baby, but she always made sure to maintain eye contact when she was having a conversation with you, listening and nodding when appropriate so that you felt special and...understood. She was lovely, which was why she found it weird how Charlotte was acting awkward about her joining them tonight.

“And her boyfriend, Mitch, of course,” Charlotte adds and she nods, motioning for her to keep going. “And Harry.”

“Harry Styles?”

“Oh boy,” Jamie whistles.

“Obviously,” Charlotte sucks on her straw, slurping her drink, “Yeah, him,” she repeats, this time softer.

“I...why?” She chooses to ask, surprised as she’d like to think Harry Styles as this unreachable, ever-so-busy person who wouldn’t be interested in a night out like this. She turns to Phoebe, and then Jamie, and they respond with a shrug as Phoebe goes back to cuddling into Jamie’s side.

“What do you mean why?” Charlotte places her drink on the table, “It would be rude not to since I asked Sarah and Mitch.”

“Well, I just mean, isn’t he busy?”

Jamie whistles again and sings her name, “You got a crush, babes?”

“Nonsense, never even met the guy- which,” she looks around the table, “-is one of the reasons why I was confused. Anyway, it doesn't matter,” she shrugs and turns to Charlotte, “I’m not bothered, Lotts, it’s totally fine.”

“Y’sure?”

She gives her a nod, “I just find him intimidating and don’t think he’d be into indie, that’s all.”

It was true. Despite having not met Mr. Harry Styles, deep down she knew he’d be intimidating because he was so good looking and well, just like most people, she loved One Direction. She was a big fan, she even got told off by her stepmother once when she was younger because apparently the tape she used to hang her One Direction posters was ruining the walls. She often referred to them as twinks, and she didn’t even know what it meant until she was older. She remembers how she got made fun of at sixth form because one of the girls found her old Tumblr and told everyone about it. Harry’s never been her favourite though. Not because she didn’t find him attractive, not at all. It was because he was too attractive and was everyone’s favourite so whenever asked, she’d shrug and tell people how she found Louis funny, and then Zayn because ’he’s the hottest’.

Long story short, despite her friendship with Charlotte, she’d never met Harry, never had the opportunity to attend one of his shows because she was either too busy or they were playing in a different country and she simply couldn’t afford it. So tonight would be the first time they’d get to be in the same place and to say that she was nervous would be an understatement. And her, she always thought she was awkward. Way too awkward for social gatherings but she liked going out regardless, drinking cheap alcohol and dancing to shitty songs in an equally shitty pub. She loved being a student. Loved the freedom the title had given her. What’s your occupation, she’d get asked from time to time. Student, she’d say without hesitating. She was a student. She didn’t have to be anything else for three years. Sure, she was also working part time at an animal shelter but for the most part, she loved being a student. That’s how she met Phoebe, and then Jamie. In a way, she was their matchmaker.

She remembers meeting Phoebe last year when they had a class together. She was the first person to smile at her in the overcrowded lecture theatre and she remembers thinking how nice Phoebe’s green fringe looked. Meeting Jamie though, was funny. Phoebe usually got weird when they joked about it since she met Jamie before Phoebe did on Tinder, even went on a date with her, and then right before she was about to ghost her, she thought of how similar Phoebe and Jamie were. It was then that she made Phoebe go on a date with Jamie, and after a month of pining, they got together. Even though they were similar, she always thought that they actually completed each other, Jamie being the logical one and Phoebe encouraging Jamie to let loose from time to time and live in the moment.

Charlotte reaches and boops her nose, “He’s a musician, he loves all kinds of music. He won’t eat you, babe. He’s nice, I promise.”

Phoebe knocks on the wood, getting everyone’s attention, “Can we get a picture with him? An autograph?”

She feels a throbbing pain in her feet, toes in particular once they’re in and they wait for Phoebe and Jamie to buy their drinks, knowing she’d wake up with blisters in the morning. Charlotte takes out her phone and presumably texts the others, letting them know they were already here. She felt nervous. Nervous because she always thought she was rubbish when it came to meeting new people; they either thought she was too intimidating or rude but in reality, it was only because she always felt anxious meeting new people and would rather stay quiet than talking nonsense.

She takes time to analyse her outfit, a pair of black mom jeans and her boots, oh the boots who were currently grilling her feet. Then she tries to adjust her lace bodysuit, all of a sudden feeling super self conscious about the ”revealing” outfit. She adjusts the top, hoping her tits weren’t out before, and sighs when she touches the oversized blazer, rolling up the sleeves a bit more since it was beginning to get warm, too warm for her liking inside. Considering how she often felt self conscious about her arms, she felt more comfortable with the blazer over the sexy bodysuit.

“So,” she starts, eyes studying the crowded bar before her gaze stops at Charlotte, “Are they here?”

Charlotte looks up from her phone and nods, leaning her head on her shoulder. She feels her arm going around her waist and smiles, nudging her head with hers and she looks up, giving her a smile of her own. “What’s up, blondie?” she asks, hand coming up to ruffle Charlotte’s fringe.

She sighs, “Just tired, to be honest. I’m glad I wore trainers.”

“At least one of us is happy about their shoe choice.”

They watch as Phoebe and Jamie walk towards them, the brunette handing her a tall glass as Phoebe hands Charlotte her own drink. “When’s she on?”

Everyone turns to Charlotte, “Half an hour, maybe?”

“When are your friends coming? It’s getting quite...stuffy in here,” Jamie looks around and Phoebe nods, hands going around Jamie’s waist to pull the brunette into her.

“I texted Sarah and she said Harry was parking the car- oh, I see Mitch.”

They all look around, and she spots the tall guy with long hair, walking towards them with Sarah and Harry behind. She gulps and tries to look away, praying that no one takes notice of her sweaty forehead and shaky hands.

As the trio walk towards them, she takes a moment to examine Harry, and his outfit. Even in the dimly lit bar, she’s almost sure the high waisted trousers he has on are navy, and he’s got a tan...or a beige shirt tucked in them, chest on full display and she notices a cross necklace, looking as if it was made for his pretty neck. She clears her throat as quietly as she can and looks down but not before she takes a peek at his shoes, and she almost snorts at the choice of red boots he’s got on, noticing how everyone had trainers on while the two of them had what looked like very uncomfortable boots on.

To be honest, she thinks, he looks pretty good. She looks around them, noticing how most guys had jeans and ugly trainers on whereas Harry looked like he made quite the effort with his outfit but she also knows that even if he turned up in jeans and ugly trainers, he would still look amazing. Damn Harry Styles. Was she blushing?

The three of them are in their space now, close enough so she can make out Sarah’s overpowering perfume, and she clears her throat once again when Charlotte embraces Sarah first, then Mitch. Before she can watch her hug Harry, Sarah’s in front of her.

“Hi,” she smiles, going in for a hug, “It’s so nice to see you again. It’s been a while,” she says and her voice comes out muffled since they’re still hugging and she hopes her hair smells decent because Sarah’s face is pressed against her neck and hair.

“It’s nice to see you too! How have you been?”

“‘Been alright, I suppose!” She beams at her and turns to the man with long hair, “This is Mitch.”

As Sarah introduces everyone with Mitch, she feels Harry’s eyes on her, though she can’t turn her head and meet his gaze because that’d be rude seeing how Mitch is about to reach and give her a one armed hug. Alright then, she thinks, they’re a hugger. Then, it’s Harry’s turn. She looks at him, seeing how his eyes are focused on Phoebe and Jamie as he gives them both a warm smile before Charlotte starts talking again, introducing everyone to Phoebe and Jamie, then everyone turns to her, and she feels her face heat up seeing how everyone’s attention is on her now. She knows it’s her turn.

Harry takes a step forward and her earlier thoughts are confirmed when she can finally make out the colour of his trousers. “Hey, ‘m Harry,” he gives her a smile without waiting for Charlotte to speak, “Nice meeting you,” he comes closer and wraps an arm around her, engulfing her in a hug but it’s definitely different from Mitch or Sarah’s hug. It’s tight, much warmer and he’s got both arms around her, palms flat against her back as he rubs her back.

And of course she responds with the same warmness and hugs him back, “Hiya,” she introduces herself, and once they pull apart, he repeats her name and it sounds like poetry, something so personal and...erotic. But maybe, she thinks, maybe it’s just his deep voice making her feel that way.

Despite the moment they shared, if she could call it that, felt like hours, it was merely a minute. And it wasn’t like in the films where they hug, everything around them slowing down as the people watch in awe. No, not at all. When she looks around, she sees that everyone’s been already mingling, Phoebe and Jamie smiling at each other while they sipped their drinks, and Mitch is nowhere to be seen, possibly at the bar getting drinks.

Harry turns to Charlotte with a grin, “So is she any good, should we replace you with her?” He says, nudging her with his hip.

That sort of makes her smile, seeing Harry so carefree and friendly with the people who are essentially working for him. Even though she doesn’t know Harry Styles like they do, like Charlotte does, she knows he considers these people to be his friends and colleagues rather than his employees. It’s also fun seeing him this friendly with her best friend, and she feels proud, as she always does, knowing Charlotte has made herself great friends and that she clearly enjoys working with these people.

Charlotte nudges him back, “She’s great, I wouldn’t mind being replaced by her. Oh, there she is,” she points at the stage, and everyone turns to look at the pink-haired girl on the tiny stage with a sleek looking acoustic guitar on her side. As the others start talking about Julien, she finally takes the opportunity to look at Harry. Once their eyes meet, he gives her a smile, dimples on full display, and she swears she could see him blush when he looks down after she beamed at him. Even if he did blush though, he recovers quickly when he’s offered a drink and he mutters a thank you to Mitch, then lifts the slice of lime off the rim of his glass and sucks it into his mouth and she deems it as a good time to look away.

And she does, when she feels Sarah close, and she turns to her, Sarah welcoming her with a smile, “How’s uni? It’s your last year, right?”

“Oh, yeah,” she clears her throat, “It’s alright. Exhausting, but alright.”

“You’re working too, right?”

“Yeah, I work at an animal shelter.”

“It must be exhausting.”

“It is,” she gives her a nod, “I work three days a week and I also have classes so I only have Sundays off. I’ll probably leave and focus on uni after Christmas break though, I have my dissertation next semester.”

“Oh, cool! I miss being a student,” she purses her lips and turns to Harry, who had been listening to their conversation, his pretty fingers, most of them adorned with equally pretty rings, wrapped around the tall glass, “You probably can’t relate, H, can ya?”

He rolls her eyes but laughs regardless, “Piss off.”

Despite the chatter around them, it’s not ridiculously loud so they can carry a conversation without having to shout. They fall into an easy conversation, everyone joining in, and all of a sudden a pink neon light falls over them and they all turn to the stage. Julien starts singing, and all the chatter around them dies down, some people already starting to sing the words back at her.

She looks away from the stage for a minute and catches Harry’s gaze from across the room. They’re close enough for her to make out a few droplets of sweat on Harry’s forehead, and their eyes meet as he gives her a smile, eyes sparkling with mischief, then brings the glass up to his mouth. She watches as his top lip rests on the rim before he lifts it to his mouth and when she looks up, she sees him still looking at, gaze unwavering and mouth curled upwards in a sly smirk. She was caught. She was caught and he looked like he was loving and devouring every second of it.

Julien takes a break, promising to come back with a brand new song from her upcoming EP, and there’s a group of people making their way towards the exit, presumably to have a smoke and get some fresh air.

“Where’s she gone?” Charlotte huffs, eyes searching the room for the pink haired girl.

“She’s over there,” Phoebe points at Julien and they all turn to where she’s pointing at, spotting Julien near the bar with a drink in hand.

“Is she flirting?”

“She’s got groupies already?” she says after she takes her eyes off of Harry and everyone laughs.

Charlotte comes closer and nudges her shoulder against her, “You’d know, wouldn’t you?” “Be quiet,” she nudges back, and their group falls back into their conversation except Harry, who keeps staring at her and she gulps, hands reaching to feel her blazer pockets.

“Right,” she mutters, “It’s time to poison myself. I’m going out for a fag,” once she feels the bulge in her pocket, she turns to Charlotte, “Send me a text when she’s back on, yeah?”

“I’ll come with.”

She looks up at Harry, surprised, but nods, waiting for him to follow her outside. Even though she tries her best not to make eye contact with anyone as they leave, she’s aware of them watching them, everyone in their group equally surprised, but they keep walking, Harry following quietly behind. Once they pass the smelly bodies, they’re finally outside, the wind licking her face once she steps out and she tries to hug herself closer, seeing how the thin blazer’s not doing a good job at keeping her warm.

Harry wishes he’d brought a coat.

They’re quiet as he follows her to a quiet corner, only a few people turning their heads their way, presumably recognising him, and they stop near a brick wall and she takes her tobacco out of her left pocket. She looks up, catching him staring at her ring-clad fingers wrapped around the dark green packet, and she clears her throat, making him look up at her. They share a smile, both feeling at ease with the comfortable silence between them. She spots a wooden bench near and sits down, hands already working the packet open. When she starts tearing the tobacco apart, Harry can’t help but note how quickly she’s working it between her fingers, and he’s almost certain she’s been doing this for years.

“Want one?” She asks and he saunters forward, coming to stand in front of her with hands in his pockets.

He shrugs and she takes that as a yes, fingers pausing their work on the tobacco to take out something that resembles a cigarette and it’s only when she pushes it from the bottom that Harry realises they’re filters. Placing one between her lips, her fingers dip into her pocket once again to retrieve some papers and Harry finds himself unable to look away from her lips and how pretty they look with something between them.

He looks down at her lap, where the packet of tobacco is, seeing her fingers work swiftly as she fills the thin paper, and despite knowing better not to glamorise something as horrible and disgusting as smoking, he takes his time to admire the way she pushes down the tobacco with her index finger, presumably trying to fit and secure everything inside the paper. Taking the filter from between her lips, she places it inside the paper, at the very end, and her fingers start rolling.

Oh fuck, he thinks, knowing what’s about to come. Unable to look away, he watches as she brings it up to her mouth and licks a long stripe along the paper, and despite the lack of lighting around them, his eyes make out her pink tongue moving along the paper and it doesn’t come as a surprise when he feels a sudden twitch in his trousers at the unholy image before his eyes.

“There,” she hands him the rolled up cigarette, “Hope you don’t mind that I licked?”

He wants to laugh because of course he doesn’t mind. In fact, he quite enjoyed it, according to the knot in his stomach and his twitching cock in his underwear. He enjoyed it so much that he now couldn’t stop imagining her mouth doing other things, preferably dirty things with, or to him.

“Nah, it’s all good, thanks.”

“No probs. Didn’t take you as the smoking type,” she lets it slip out.

“I...don’t smoke, really. Only sometimes. When I’m drinking. Which…” He looks at the cigarette between her fingers, “...isn’t that often.”

She notices the nervousness that tinges his words, and it makes her feel better knowing he’s also as awkward as her. “Fair,” she sends him a smile and repeats all the steps on her own rollie, putting it between her lips just like Harry, and she takes her lighter out of the same pocket. She lights her own first and reaches to light his, and he sort of bends over until his cigarette reaches the lighter. They both take a hefty drag of their cigarettes and she blows the smoke out first, Harry watching her pursed lips as he lets out his own next, both of their cigarette smoke swirling in the air and joining in together.

He takes it out of his mouth and lets his arm dangle on his side, cigarette between his fingers, and watches as she takes another drag before fumbling with the packet on her lap, putting everything back in her pocket haphazardly.

“Do you go to uni in London, or?”

“Westminster, yeah,” she takes another drag and notices how Harry hasn’t taken another one of his since.

“Nice,” he says and a grin stretches over his face, “Charlotte talks about you a lot.”

“She does?”

“Yeah, all the time. If I didn’t know about her boyfriend I’d say she was in love with you,” he laughs and gestured to the lighter in her hand and she lets him take the lighter from her hand, watching as the flame lick at the cigarette between Harry’s lip and he takes a long drag. “I mean, we...the band feel like we already know you. It’s sweet, how much she cares about you.”

“Well, I’m pretty hard not to love, you know.”

He blows out the smoke, a chuckle escaping his mouth, “That right?”

“Yeah, I’m fucking great.”

“Well, I-”

He gets interrupted by her phone going off and a pout forms on his face. She huffs, looking around, then throws the cigarette on the ground despite the sign and he does the same, not feeling bad in the slightest. “We going in?” He asks, like a lost puppy waiting for his owner’s command.

“I guess. Is it bad that I don’t want to? Like...does that make me a bad friend?”

“Nah. I...I kinda wanted to stay here too. I was enjoying our conversation.”

She sends him a grin, eyes mischievous, and stops walking, “You telling me you weren’t bored to death by my dry ass conversation?”

“Dry? You opened up and talked about your narcissistic behaviours, that’s not boring, darling,” he smirks and she rolls her eyes, hand reaching to slap his chest and it feels easy, like they’ve known each other for years. “Alright, alright, ’m just messing with you.”

She starts walking again, a few steps ahead of him, and he follows, passing three girls with phones up to their faces.

It’s easy, he thinks, it’s easy with her.

People in the bar begin to leave one by one, and it’s only their small group and a few others left, some of them still sipping their drinks and the others talking and laughing. Some even come up to Julien, who’s sipping her water from a reusable water bottle as Charlotte keeps snapping pictures of her, and they all congratulate her, telling her how excited they are about the EP. She’s all smiles, fringe sticking to her forehead due to sweat, and her long arms are equally sweaty, dressed in a tight black dress with striped knee high socks adorning her long legs, and a pair of platform Mary Janes.

“So,” Harry says, folding his arms across his chest, “Do you have any plans for October?”

Mitch snorts across him and Julien tilts her head, puzzled, “Erm...I’ve no idea, to be honest. It’s months away and God knows I’m shite at thinking ahead. That’s why I’m friends with this lot,” she gestures to their tiny group, causing Charlotte to snort and Julien continues, turning her attention to her who’s playing with the hem of her blazer,  “This one though...”

“Oh, fuck off.”

“Oi, what’s crawled up your bum, eh?” Julien turns to Harry again, catching how his gaze flickered over her body, then her face instead of looking at Julien and she finds herself smirking at the tension between the two.

“We’re thinking of putting a show together for Halloween. I have a bunch of new and upcoming artists in my mind that I’d love to see perform that night. Would you be interested?” Harry’s attention is back on Julien and he watches as the girl gasps, eyes widening in excitement.

“Shut the fuck up!” She yells, almost dropping her water bottle and they all laugh, Charlotte reaching to flip her on the forehead and she slaps her freshly-manicured hand away, “You’re not taking the piss, are you?”

Harry laughs, “Am definitely not. I love your vibe. That’s actually one of the reasons why I asked Charlotte if I could come tonight,” he says as he runs his fingers through his hair, the strands gliding easily between his long fingers.

“Yeah,” Charlotte smiles at Julien, “He’s on a hunt. He thinks he’s one of those talent agents. Just say yes, Jules, it’ll be fun.”

“Holy fuck. Yes. Fuck, yes. Of fucking course, yes!”

They all laugh when she lunges herself at Harry, arms wrapping around his neck, “Thank you, thank you, thank you, fuck I could literally kiss you right now but I won’t, I’ve been watching you both undress each other with your eyes all night,” arms still around Harry’s neck, Julien turns her head towards her, whom Harry’s been looking at all night, and gives her a wink before breaking their hug. “So, do I have to do anything? What do I have to do? Fuck, I’m so bad at this-”

“Hey,” Harry interrupts, “It’s fine. Relax. Are you signed with anyone? Have a manager?”

“Oh, yeah, I’m with Gleam, my manager, Alana, she’s sick that’s why she wasn't here tonight.”

“Okay, that’s fine. Just give me your phone number and your manager’s contact details and we’ll sort everything out. Hey- relax, it’s gonna be fun!” He reaches and gives her shoulder a squeeze.

“I called an Uber,” Sarah says after her phone goes off, “And it looks like…” she taps on the screen a few times, “Hassan is here.”

“We could’ve gotten maccies,” she says, pouting, as her head rests on Charlotte’s shoulder.

Sarah sighs, cuddling closer into Mitch’s side, “We’re leaving for Brighton tomorrow morning.”

“Yeah, Sarah’s making us wake up at, like, five,” Mitch grumbles.

They all start walking towards the exit, Julien and Harry in the back talking about the show as Charlotte links her arm with her as they follow behind the others. As they walk, she remembers how Harry arrived with Sarah and Mitch, meaning they shared a ride, and she turns to look at Harry who seems to be in deep conversation as he waves his hands around.

She feels hot all of a sudden, remembering how neither of them wanted to go inside earlier, how good he looked and how his voice sounded, deep, so deep, when his attention was only on her and not the girl on the stage or his drink or the people around them. As selfish as it sounds, she wanted all his attention on her, she wanted him to only look at her, see her, think of her, and she feels foolish because they only met tonight, and their conversation earlier didn’t last that long.

Once they’re outside, everyone sighs, almost in relief as the fresh air fills their lungs, and everyone bids their goodbyes to Sarah and Mitch, then Phoebe starts complaining about how uncomfortable and tired she was.

“That’s it from us, folks, my wife needs a shower,” Jamie pinches Phoebe’s cheek as Phoebe blushes, swatting her hand away.

She turns to Harry for a second and he’s just standing there, arms folded with an expression she’s unable to read, and Julien laughs, muttering something about catching a black cab since she now has money to waste.

Everyone leaves and it’s only them, and Charlotte comes closer to her as she nudges her hip with hers, “Hey. Is it cool if Harry gives you a ride? Tom’s picking me up.”

She panics and gives her a puzzled look. A car ride with Harry. Alone. Just the two of them.

She swallows, “How come you never mention it?”

“He just texted me, we’re driving up to Manc. Will you be okay?” She reaches and strokes her cheek, then turns to Harry, as if the question was directed at both of them.

“Well, yeah...I mean- I’ll call a Bolt or something-”

“It’s fine, I can give you a ride,” Harry says, hands now in his pockets. He looks like he’s cold too, considering how he’s only wearing a thin shirt and his chest is on full display, letting the breeze softly lick at the flesh.

“I wouldn’t want to be a bother, I can take a Bolt. Really, it’s fine.”

“I insist...whereabouts is your place?”

“Ehm,” she sniffs and her eyes look for Charlotte for a moment, and when she spots her, she’s watching them despite the phone pressed against her ear. “Marylebone.”

“Great! That alright with you?”

She looks at Charlotte again, the short haired girl failing to meet her gaze, and she turns to Harry again, lips pursed, “I guess- I mean...sure. Okay.”

Harry beams at that, the dimple on his left cheek widening with the smile, and she wants to reach out and touch it, place her finger there. She doesn’t though. Instead, she gives him a smile and looks down at her boots, feeling all giddy inside with the realisation that she’d be alone with Harry for a while and it would also be away from any prying eyes, in the warmth of his car.

Charlotte comes back and reaches for her, giving her a big hug as she buries her head in her neck, and she involuntarily breathes in the smell of cigarettes and Charlotte’s personal favourite, Chanel no. 5.

“Text me when you’re home, yeah? And text me if you need anything...he’s nice, I promise,” she whispers the last part, as if she’s letting her in on a secret, then reaches for Harry to give him a hug.

“Drive safe,” she says, walking backwards, “I mean it.”

“I will. Precious cargo, am I right?”

Harry opens the door for her and waits for her to get in, her lips form the words ‘thank you’, and once they’re both inside, seatbelts on, Harry sighs and tries to fix his creased shirt. She watches his hands, the rings catching the light coming from a lamppost outside, creating beams, and she notices the single, nearly-chipped gold nail polish on his left pinky.

“So…” they both say at the same time and he laughs, shaking his head, and a few strands fall to his eyes.

She chuckles too, eyes falling to her hands on her lap as she fiddles with them. “I think we’ve been set up,” she mumbles and looks up at him, finding him watching her carefully with one hand on the steering wheel and the other on his thigh.

“Yeah? You think so?”

“Oh, yeah. I’m usually not this dumb.”

“Maybe you wanted play dumb, hm?” He gives her a smile, causing her to scoff, and he surprises them both when his left hand reaches to stroke her cheek, making goosebumps appear on her skin and she swears she could hear her breath hitch at the warm touch, feeling hot all over.

They stare at each other, his hand still on her cheek, and she swallows, “Sure, whatever you say.”

“Is this okay?” He asks, gesturing at the touch, voice as soft and smooth as honey.

She nods, because it is. It is more than okay and if it were up to her, they’d already be kissing, tasting each other’s dirty, sweaty skin and touching each other all over, feeling each other’s bodies...she wanted all of that.

She swallows again, his gaze shifting from her face to her neck, then lower and lower until it reaches her boobs. They look divine, he thinks, despite the lack of lighting in his car, they look absolutely gorgeous, sort of spilling out from the lace material and he gulps, hand beginning to make its way down to her neck. He rests it there as long fingers caress the side of her neck, discovering a few moles there, and he looks up at her, only to find her eyes fixed on his lap. He looks down to, the slight tent not coming as a surprise, and he gives her a grin, the other hand coming to rest atop his bulge.

“Hm?” He hums as he waits for her answer despite knowing what she would say.

She clears her throat and looks around, seeing the almost empty parking lot all dark except the stop sign near the exit, and turns her attention back to Harry.

“Yes. It’s okay.”

“Mmm,” his fingers curl around her throat, thumb stroking the flesh there, “Thank you, love. Can I kiss you?”

“You can...Please,” she practically moans when his thumb presses a sweet spot on her neck and he gives her a smile, hand reaching to unbuckle both of their seatbelts with a click.

It doesn’t happen that fast. First, he gives her a look, almost as if he’s trying to remember where her lips are and the nose, then her eyes...he keeps looking, and looking, and he brings his hand up to her mouth, resting his thumb on her bottom lip as her eyes shift downwards with the movement. While he watches her, she takes her time to watch him, his face, and she feels something bubbling inside her, much like the bubbles that rise to the top when you open a coke bottle.

Pressure, she thinks, pressure and the need to devour him. Thus, without thinking too much, she reaches and grabs him by the nape of his neck, his hand falling atop the car seat as their lips meet, both of them hungry for each other’s touch as their teeth clash and Harry lets out a hiss when she bites his bottom lip, suckining it into her mouth.

His hands go up to her cheeks, pushing her far enough to look into her face and eyes in particular and he smiles, the inside of his palms feeling the soft peach fuzz on her face. When she lunges forward to continue their kiss, he stops her, thumb stroking her cheekbones as she lets out a huff, and he chuckles, “Slow, baby, slow. We’ve got time. I want to feel you, taste you as much as I can, yeah?”

She nods, letting him stroke the side of her face some more and feel her skin against his soft hands before he starts leaning in, this time slow, so slow that it feels like hours to her. Before she closes her eyes, she catches a glimpse of his pink tongue dart out to lick his lips, and he finally captures her top lip, sucking it into his mouth softly and she melts under his touch, her mouth pursed as she starts responding with her own kisses. Their lips, she feels, fit together like a puzzle piece.

Harry’s tongue swipes across her bottom lip and she opens wider, letting him lick into her mouth further. It’s hot, wet, and she feels herself getting wetter and wetter as the smooch noises grow louder with each kiss. His hands are now cupping both of her cheeks, and as he presses wet pecks on her parted mouth, one of his thumbs travel down to her mouth and he stops their kiss, and she opens her eyes, giving him a puzzled look.

He shushes her, lips pursed as he does so, and her eyes watches the movement, wanting to feel them all over her body now that she knows how he feels and tastes like. He presses his thumb against her bottom lip, then into her mouth and pulls her closer to him. He shuts his eyes and tilts his head when she closes her mouth around his thumb, sucking it like a lolly, and his cock twitches in his trousers again as he watches the way she sucks on his flesh, humming around it as if she’s having the most delicious meal of her life.

“Fuck, baby,” he rasps, “Y’like playing with me, don’t you?”

She doesn’t respond. Instead, she takes his thumb out of her mouth with a pop and she holds him by the wrist, placing his hand on one of her boobs and Harry lets her warm hands and the feeling of lace overpower him as he gives her boob a squeeze, then travels his hand down to where he supposes her nipple is and brushes a thumb over it, a beaming grin stretching across his face when he feels her pebbled nipple under his thumb.

When he looks at her face, she’s biting her lips, eyes shut, and he bites his own lips as he traps her covered nipple between his thumb and index finger, tweaking it gently which causes her to breathe out a moan, toes curling involuntarily inside her boots. He tugs at it, then his hand travels up and he looks at her, as if to ask her permission for what he’s about to do. And she nods, of course she does, and she feels her upper torso getting sore from the position they’ve been in but she lets it go, reaching for his hand near her boob and places it on top of his, encouraging him to keep going.

With her hand on top of his, he slides the bodysuit down from the top, and he feels his cock twitch in interest so he has to bring his other hand down to press against his bulge over his trousers in hopes of relieving some of the tension. He plays with her nipple, tweaking and squeezing it between his fingers before finally leaning to capture the pebbled nipple into his mouth. “God damn, your tits...so fuckin’ hot, baby,” he bites her nipple and she shudders, back arching in pleasure. “Wanna do everything with you...wanna fuck you- wanna fuck these tits,” he whispers against her nipple, now wet with his spit, and his hot breath sends chills down her spine.

It’s warm, his mouth, so warm and wet around her hard nipples and she lets out another moan, arms wrapping around his neck and she tries to press against him closer. “Fuck,” a moan leaver her mouth, “Please, Harry, fuck me. Do something, just- ‘m so wet.”

“Yeah? Want me to fuck you? Jesus,” he presses a kiss to her nipple before he frees her other boob from the fabric, “You’re so fuckin’ hot. Got me so fuckin’ hard, just look at these gorgeous tits, baby. Bet your cunt’s even more gorgeous, hm?” He whispers, hands already on the other boob, squeezing the nipple and he watches as it hardens, looking so pretty and puckered for him and he gets his mouth on that one too, licking across the nipple before he bites it into his mouth.

“Can I take this off, sweetheart?” He touches her shoulder, squeezing her there over the blazer, and when he sees the hesitation in her eyes, he travels his hand up to her neck and strokes it there, “Y’don’t have to, darling. However you’re comfortable.”

“No,” she says ever so softly, “It’s okay.”

He smiles at her as she takes the jacket off and throws it somewhere at her feet. Harry grabs her by the neck and brings her in for another kiss but this time, it’s slow. And sweet. Slow, sweet, and warm, so warm that she feels it in her chest, in her stomach, and it reaches everywhere, the kiss warming anything and everything inside her. He swipes a tongue across her bottom lip before pulling away, and places both hands on her boobs, squeezing them, mouth popping open as he watches them in awe.

“Fuckin’ hell,” he brings one of his hands to the front of his trousers and the heels of his palms press against the bulge, but instead of giving him some relief, the touch makes him hiss, wishing for something softer, warmer.

“Can I fuck you? I need to fuck you, please, sweetheart,” he whispers and she nods, tongue darting out to lick her dry lips and he nods as well, looking around inside the car, swiftly examining the tinted black windows before he turns to her, “I hate that I’m about to fuck that pretty pussy in the backseat of my car instead of a comfortable bed but I need it so bad, sweetheart, I need you,” he licks his lips, “That okay?”

“Yes...more than.”

He helps her move to the backseat, boobs still hanging from the top, and he joins her in the backseat quickly. They’re closer now, nothing serving as a barrier between them, and with the way they’re facing each other, she can make out a tiny pimple on the side of his nose as well as a little mole on his forehead. Her gaze falls to his bulge again, and he’s already fumbling to get them off. With a swallow, she shuts her eyes so she doesn’t see Harry watching her intently, dilated pupils fixated on her sweaty skin, her lips in particular.

He leans in and presses an open mouth kiss to her damp skin, the touch making her open her eyes.

Take it off” she whispers, voice as sweet as honey, “Come on, I want you to fuck me,” she breathes against his hair, his head now in the crook of her neck, and she feels him nod, his hands coming to rest atop hers.

He fumbles with the button with shaky hands, her hands coming to rest on Harry’s waist and he sighs in relief when he hears the zipper. He lowers his trousers along with his underwear clumsily, the pile of material pooling around his ankles. He’s hard and leaking already, the tip an angry shade of red, and she takes a few seconds to admire the thickness of his cock and how pretty it looks, his dark, coarse pubic hair making her mouth water as she imagines deepthroating him, nuzzling the hair at the base of his cock.

Harry looks up and she’s got one hand on her boob while the other rubs herself through her jeans, presumably feeling aroused with the way the fabric is feeling against her pussy. A low, choked ‘fuck’ leaves his mouth following a growl as his long fingers begin unbuttoning the beige shirt and she watches, bottom lip trapped between her teeth with fingers rubbing herself.

Once it’s unbuttoned, he’s quick to get his hands on her jeans, eyes briefly searching for something in hers before he starts unbuttoning them. She stops him and bends over to take her boots off and he watches her back, hand reaching involuntarily to travel his fingers down her spine, stroking her waist before he bends forward to place a kiss on there as she keeps fumbling with her boots. Once they’re off, he’s quick to help her get the jeans off too, and he throws them in the front seat, smiling when she hears her giggle.

“Alright, Miss Giggles?” he says softly, palm resting on top of her thigh as one of his hands reaches and strokes the side of her face, fingers playing in her wild strands of hair.

She bites her lip again, giving him a nod, and he brings her face into his, lips pressing a tender kiss to her chin before he opens his mouth slightly and grazes his teeth across the flesh, and he presses a final, loud kiss there before he pulls away with a pop, leaving her chin all shiny and wet with his saliva. He lowers his eyes and spots her thong, fabric too tiny and flimsy to cover all the areas of her pussy, and he lets out a groan at the sight, hand immediately reaching to touch what’s under her little thong.

“So pretty, darling...so, so pretty,” he murmurs and she watches with parted legs as he positions his middle finger against her pussy over the black lace, thin, so he feels just how warm and wet she is between her folds. This makes him pause to look down at his cock, just to make sure he’s not about to spill all over the carseat since he feels the pleasure at the tip of his cock, ready to explode right then and there. “How can anyone ever resist you, hm? This pretty girl…” with one hand still between her legs, he reaches with his other hand and ghosts his thumb over her nipple, his other hand working her thong as he pulls it to the side, “...this pretty pussy,” he murmurs, making her eyes lull shut at the compliments.

She parts her legs wider to give him more room to work with, and he grins as he looks up at her hungry eyes, knowing what she’s asking for. And god, is he about to give her what she wants. The way she looks, not just half naked but from the moment he’d caught a glimpse of the grumpy girl across the room, it’s been driving him insane. Not that she was rude or looked bored, but she looked cute, kinda nervous, as if she too was as uncomfortable as Harry by the prying eyes and tipsy chatter around them.

From the moment they were introduced, Harry knew she didn’t particularly like to be looked at. Maybe he was being judgmental, or reading too much into things, but he got the impression that she was sort of nervous to be around people, especially new people. He tried his hardest not to be some weirdo, an utter creep who kept looking at the beautiful girl across him but truth be told, it wasn’t the first time Harry had seen the girl’s face.

He knew of her, stories about her, from Charlotte, and saw numerous photos and throwback videos of them on Charlotte’s Instagram, but he would never actually admit to the fact that he’d clicked on her tag on one of Charlotte’s posts, and scrolled through her feed for hours, giggling from time to time at her silly captions and numerous pictures of a Golden Retriever and a black cat cuddling.

Yes, he might have found her interesting, took a few screenshots of her posts where she proudly displayed her favourite reads, immediately ordering everything on there, and a few funny memes, but now with his middle finger circling her clit, he would never, ever admit any of that to anyone, ever.

“Harry,” she breathes, and it sounds sort of harsh, rough even, the reason presumably being a mix of the cigarettes she’d been smoking and the way his finger teasingly, slowly moves over her pussy. “Harry…” she says again, melodiously, fingers curling around his wrist and he looks up with a grin, eyes almost evil, dark and pupils dilated from hunger bubbling up inside him.

He retracts his finger and brings it up to his mouth slowly, her eyes watching him like a hawk, and his pink tongue darts out, licking a long stripe up his middle finger and he truly devours the savoury taste, eyes finding hers as he sucks the finger into his mouth. “Taste so good, sweetheart,” he murmurs, “Want me to play with that beautiful cunt, hm? Give it my full attention?”

“Yes, please, I need it so bad, I’ve been waiting for so long.”

“Yeah?” He asks, ever so softly, “How long?” He presses, his middle finger once again placed between her wet folds, and she wraps her fingers around his wrist.

There’s a bloom of pleasure in her voice when she lets out a shaky breath, a stuttered ’yeah’ because she doesn’t want to give in to Harry’s teasing game, and he leans forward, capturing her chin with his mouth as he bites the flesh while the pads of his finger massages slow and deep over her swollen clit.

He feels the spongy bit under his touch, “Tell me you’ve been thinking of this too,” he breathes against her wet chin, then brings his middle finger down to her hole. It’s wet, so fucking wet when he drags his finger back up and circles her clit faster than before which makes her legs kick out in pleasure, one hand grabbing harshly at her boob as the other go up to Harry’s soft hair and she pulls, fingernails scratching his scalp while doing so. He groans against her skin and drags his finger down to her slick little hole again, circling around the wet, soft muscle and he pushes his finger in, her cunt making a wet, lovely sound as he does so as his eyes fall to his throbbing cock.

It’s so hard, an unpleasant feeling blooming inside, so he takes his finger out of her hole, making her let out a tiny whimper as she clenches around nothing with the sudden loss of his touch. Harry brings his finger up to his mouth, and his pink tongue darts out to lick, mouth closing around to devour the slightly salty slickness.

“Can I fuck you now?” He asks as his hand goes to stroke the side of her neck, goosebumps appearing immediately at the touch. She shudders, unable to respond and Harry’s voice is softer this time, “Can I, baby? Will you let me fuck your pretty pussy now? I need it so bad, sweetheart, so fucking bad. See how hard I am for you? So fucking hard for you, baby.”

“God,” another shaky breath, “Please, I’m so wet and horny- I need it, Harry, please.”

“Need my cock, yeah? Need me to fill that little hole? Stretch your tiny little hole, darling?”

“Fuck- please, I- please stop teasing me, I need it...please, fuck me.”

Harry feels something, a prickly sensation inside him, his groin tightening, and he knows it’s her dirty mouth and sweet face to blame. He looks down at his cock, hard as rock between his legs, and grabs her by the waist, pulling her on top of him with ease. “There, sweet girl.”

He lets out a hiss when her warm pussy makes contact with his cock and she bites her lip, leaning forward until their sweaty foreheads meet. “Your pussy’s so fuckin’ warm. Shit, we need condoms,” a strong arm wraps around her waist and she gasps when he leans forward so suddenly. His face is buried into her boobs as he tries to retrieve his wallet from one of the compartments in between and she watches him struggle, unable to control a tiny laugh escaping her mouth.

“Well,” Harry mumbles, warm lips making her skin feel all tingly, “This is lovely...mmm,” a few kisses are pressed between her boobs, then another open mouth one on her left nipple, and they’re finally back to their previous position, condom package between Harry’s lips as he rips the top, never once taking his eyes off of her while doing so.

“Ready for me?” He gives himself a few lazy pulls, thumbing at the tip while she watches, one hand kneading her boob. “Hm? Ready to take my cock?” He moves his hand slowly, up and down, causing her to swallow.

“Yeah...fuck yeah. Please, fuck me.”

He looks up at her as the rubber works its way down his cock, and she joins her arms around his neck, fingers playing with the hairs at the nape of his neck, and he brings his cock to her cunt, earning a moan from her, her warm breath licking at his face ever so softly. He grunts, voice strained with pleasure when he feels how warm and wet she is at the touch of his cock and slides it against her warmth before he brings it down to her tight little hole and pauses there.

“Y’ready, sweet girl?” He nudges their foreheads together and it’s sweet, so sweet despite the position they’re in, and she nods, feeling their damp foreheads stick together, and Harry gives her a bright smile, dimple appearing on his left cheek.

And he pushes it in. With his thumb pressed against the tip, he pushes his cock inside her, the tightness squeezing his already sensitive cock as if she doesn’t want to let him go, as if she wants to keep him inside of her forever and ever.

“God, such a tight cunt, baby. Squeezing me already, hm?” He murmurs into her mouth, “Easy, darling...slow. Slow, yeah? Want to feel you properly,” his hands go up to her hips, holding her there to still the movement of her hips, and her arms loop around his sweaty neck, fingernails scratching the back of his neck and he hisses, face moving forward to press a bruising kiss on her parted mouth.

Once she calms down, hips stilled, his strong arms begin moving her up and down and they both moan, quick breaths leaving their mouths and mixing together just like how their bodies are almost joined together, two becoming one, and Harry starts moving his own hips so he can fuck into her as she helps her by moving her own hips up and down, slowly, just like he’d asked her to, feeling his cock stretching her tight hole with his every move. There’s a honking outside and both their movements still for a second, and a muffled chuckle leaves her mouth, arms tightening around Harry’s neck.

Their eyes meet, Harry’s mouth turning upwards, “What’s so funny, Miss Giggles, hm?” He murmurs as his hips speed up again, their skins slapping against each other as his cock strokes the insides of her walls ever so softly, sliding in and out of her.

“Jesus, you’re so fucking big, I- I knew you’d be big but...fuck, you’re so good, so fucking good, Harry,” she moans, earning a grunt from him as she meets his thrusts, her hands sliding down to Harry’s shoulders and squeezing his smooth skin briefly before she brings her palms down to her chest.

She strokes the hair on his chest, admiring the way his cross necklace sits proudly there, amongst his now damp chest hair, and she brings her palm to one of his nipples, thumb stroking the slightly darker nub and he lets out a groan as goosebumps appear on his chest and nipples.

“God,” she breathes and Harry can smell the fruity-sour alcohol on her breath, and his mouth pops open when she tweaks his sensitive nipples. “I love your nipples,” she moans again when his cock brushes that sweet spot inside her and he does too, arms tightening around her waist, and she tweaks his nipples again, this time harder as her hips speed up, ass slapping against his meaty thighs and she keeps jumps up on down on his cock.

As she does so, her boobs too move, bouncing up and down with her every movement and Harry reaches with one hand, capturing one of her nipples between his fingers as he tweaks left and right before letting it go, watching her skin prickle at the touch.

“Shit, y’feel amazing, just wanna keep you forever,” he groans, low and delirious, fingernails digging into her waist as he thrusts into her, “So fuckin’ tight around me...so tight and snug. I want you- want this everyday. Wanna be able to touch you, kiss that little face everyday, fuck this beautiful pussy...so good, darling, you’re so fuckin’ good, letting me fuck that sweet cunt in the backseat, hm? Are you good,” he breathes her name into her mouth, then bites her bottom lip, earning a gasp from her when his thrusts become particularly rough. “Are you a good girl?”

“Yes, yes, yes, I’m good, I’m so good, please- I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna fucking cum please keep fucking me, keep fucking me hard, Harry- keep going,” she speeds up her movements, Harry’s cock sliding in and out of her as wet, dirty sounds fill the car and he curses under his breath, hips lifting off the seat to meet her strokes.

“Are you close?” He manages to ask, a low grunt in his voice.

She doesn’t respond. Instead, she brings one hand down to her pussy and begins rubbing her clit, moaning when she touches the little nub and then, with her other hand, she reaches for Harry’s face, thumb stroking the side of the smooth skin before she places it on his bottom lip and presses hard, making him part his mouth. She pushes it in, eyes lulling shut at the feeling of his warm tongue as he sucks on her thumb, hips continuing their movements as he fucks her cunt with quick, rough thrusts.

When she opens her eyes, Harry’s watching her, sweat glistening on his forehead and she brings her finger down to where Harry’s cock meets her warmth and rubs the top of his cock, moaning when she feels the vein there. She brings it up to her clit again, all wet and warm, and she rubs harder with rough strokes as Harry juts his hips forward a few more times. “I’m gonna cum, fuck- I’m gonna fuckin’ cum, baby,” his grip tightens on her waist and she places her hands on his shoulder, squeezing there.

“Come on me, I want it on my tits,” she mutters, fingernails digging into the smooth skin of his shoulders and he lets out a grunt, pulling out quickly as she gets down, Harry’s legs parting immediately so she can get between them.

And she does, gets on her knees between Harry’s parted legs as he takes the condom off, hissing at the feeling as he tosses it somewhere on the floor, and he begins stroking his now-wet cock as she thumbs at her nipples, kneading her boobs before pushing them together. His wrist works harder and quicker at the sight and he finally comes undone, his warm cum spilling onto her boobs, decorating her soft flesh with white stripes and she looks down, watching with sparkling eyes.

“God, fuck,” he breathes, letting his head tilt back, “You’re something else, y’know that?”

She hums, sending him a grin as he gives himself three more lazy strokes before he lets go of his cock and watches the spattered cum against her skin separate with the movement when she lets them go.

“Got some on your top, sorry, love.”

She looks down, then swipes a thumb across her skin and brings it up to her mouth. Pushing it in, she sucks around her digit as she tastes the salty-sour taste and Harry watches, all wrecked and fucked out.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

“You’re so naughty...come up here,” his ring-clad fingers reach for her wrist and he helps her sit next to him.

He reaches the little pocket behind one of the seats, taking out some tissues as she watches him take out a few and clean her up as much as he can. Then their eyes meet, both sleepy and wrecked, and he lifts his hand up to her cheek, stroking it, and she leans into the touch, making him smile. “You’re lovely,” he mumbles, hand still on her cheek.

“You’re lovelier.”

He chuckles as she fixes her top, “You really are. Really lovely.”

“Stop it, I’m not good with compliments.”

“Well,” he shrugs, reaching for his trousers on the front seat, “I said what I said. You hungry? Thirsty?”

“I’m kinda thirsty. Aren’t you?”

As they lean against the bonnet of Harry’s car, now parked outside a McDonald’s, there’s a comfortable silence between them as they sip their waters, bodies close to each other, close enough for Harry to smell his faint cologne on her skin.

“You cold still?”  He turns to her as she takes a bite of her chocolate muffin, and he follows as a few crumbs land on her chest.

“I’m good. Feel very warm...ed up,” she chuckles, thumbing at the corners of her mouth.

Harry groans, nudging her with his shoulders and she nudges back, harder, and he gasps, “Oi, be nice. I’m feeding you.”

“Soz. Guess I owe you like...what is it, a fiver?”

“You’re a very mean girl.”

“I’m the nicest. I’m good,” she gives him a grin, earning another eye roll from him as she takes another sip of her water before placing it on the floor, “Seriously though, thanks for the muffin.”

“Don’t mention it. I’m kinda bummed you turned down the nuggets but…maybe next time?”

“Next time?” She asks, crossing her arms, trying to warm herself up despite her promise from earlier.

“Well,” he clears his throat, hand going up to his necklace, “I’d love to see you sometime. Again. Preferably for longer than an hour and...you know, just us two? Hanging out?”

She smiles and leans forward, taking him by surprise when she presses their lips together. It’s a sweet, slow kiss, and his hands grab the back of her neck, pressing their faces closer as they kiss. Her hands find his waist and she gets on her feet, coming to stand between his legs without breaking their kiss, and she loops her arms around his neck, smiling when he moans at the feeling of her fingers playing with the hairs at the nape of his neck.

He tastes the muffin, the chocolate, and himself, and as foolish as it sounds, he wishes there was a way to be closer to her somehow, closer than they already are at this moment. She pulls away, their foreheads pressing together as they smile at each other.

Harry scrunches his nose and smiles, bringing it forward so their noses touch, “What was that for?” He whispers, hands tight around her waist as he hugs her closer.

“Just felt like it...just felt like kissing you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I like kissing you. I liked kissing you a lot tonight.”

He smiles, nose booping against hers once again, “I liked kissing you a lot too. I’d like to kiss you a lot tomorrow. And maybe the day after that.”

“That’s fine by me. You can kiss me tomorrow...and the day after that,” she whispers, pressing their bodies together.

Harry closes his eyes, taking a deep breath as she watches with curious gaze, eyes crinkling with a smile.

“What are you doing,” she whispers, and he shushes her, smiling when he opens his eyes to find her staring with her eyebrows raised, “What are you doing?” She asks again and he squeezes her waist, forehead pressing against her once again and he leans in closer to press a tiny kiss on the corner of her mouth.

“I’m listening,” he whispers, lips almost touching hers as he speaks.

“Listening? What are you listening to?”

He strokes her cheek, “A song.”

She raises her eyebrow again, “What song? I can’t hear it. Are you- you’re not actually serious, are you?”

“Ssh, it’s a song. Listen,”

“Har-ry,” she groans, pressing her forehead on the crook of his neck, “What is it?”

Harry smiles, arms hugging her closer as she presses a tiny kiss to the side of his neck, “Aubade.”

SEND ME YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT AUBADE AND PLEASE REBLOG THE FICS YOU’VE READ AND ENJOYED TO SUPPORT AND MOTIVATE WRITERS <3

[apinchofm]

Dunno if they're mentioned, but

— Phoebe's parents meeting Marcus and she realizing once she becomes a vampire she'll probably not be part of their family.

( Sidenote, like, how does it goes like that, your maker it's your new mum/dad but the first ones are still alive?? 🧍🏽‍♀️🧍🏽‍♀️🧍🏽‍♀️)

Love this request! Yes, her parents appear in the Book of Life - Edward and Padma! Her dad is sick though, which is really sad.

Miriam is Phoebe's sire and will eventually be her mother, after a long time of knowing each other. But her mother is still alive and is still her mother.

Marcus had lived for centuries, served in conflicts and confronted monsters.

None of that prepared him to meet your fiancee's parents.

"I think my family is less scary than yours" Phoebe laughed as he fretted over what shirt to wear to dinner, "My father is a diplomat, not an assassin."

And if I'm going to spend eternity with you, I'd like you to have met my parents," Phoebe said. In a few weeks, they would be separated as Miriam was going to turn her and they wouldn't see each other for three months.

More importantly, it would be the last time she would see her parents for a while.

"Oh, Phoebe!" Her mother brightly smiled as she answered the door. Phoebe hugged her tightly. Marcus was struck by how similar the two looked, just as beautiful as each other, "Come in, come in". She took their coats, hanging them up.

It was a lovely warm home, with the welcome aroma of spices from the kitchen. Marcus hadn't felt such a joyful atmosphere in a while. The house was decorated with art and artefacts showing both her parent's heritage as well as her father's extensive travel.

"You must be Marcus," She smiled brightly at him.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs Taylor" Marcus smiled, "I brought wine". He handed her the bottle of red wine.

"Padma, please." She smiled and looked impressed with his choice of wine.

"Is that my daughter?" Edward laughed as he came in from the kitchen, "No, she's too big. That can't possibly be my Phoebe." Phoebe hugged her dad tightly.

Marcus smiled at how happy they all were.

"So what kind of doctor are you?" Padma asked over dinner.

"I'm general but with a speciality in biochemistry. I work in A&E " Truthfully, he covered a range of areas, but that would be hard to explain to her parents how a twenty-nine year old was able to have multiple specialities.

"I asked around about you," Edward said.

"Edward!"

"Dad!"

"Ah, yes" Marcus grimaced and Phoebe giggled, "In our defence, I had just graduated."

"No, I was quite impressed." Edward said and Marcus breathed a sigh of relief, "Though, apparently, you have been banned from his summer house of the Marques of Bath's after you and your cousin destroyed a £2 million chandelier?"

"You charmed me first, I had to wear you down." Marcus insisted.

"So, tell me how the two of you met," Padma smiled, resting her head on her hand in interest.

"Um, well Marcus was purchasing a gift for his grandmother at the auction house and spent most of the appointment charming me." Phoebe smiled fondly.

"Oh isn't that sweet!" Padma said, hand over her heart. She was so happy her daughter was happy.

"Too sweet," Edward said gruffly.

"Dad!" Phoebe whined slightly.

"I'm joking, Phoebe."

......

Phoebe helped her mum with the washing up in the kitchen.

"I really like him," Padma said as she handed Phoebe a plate to dry, "Stella thought I wouldn't."

"That's because you've never liked anyone I've dated." Phoebe laughed.

"Yes, but Marcus is sweet and he looks at you as if you hung the moon and the stars in the sky. That's all I've ever wanted for you."

.......

Meanwhile, Edward was showing Marcus some artefacts in his study. He was impressed with the respectfulness he showed them, considering the reputation of the English. Meeting both of Phoebe's parents made him fully realise that it's no wonder she grew up to be such a kind, intelligent but courageous woman.

"Mr Taylor, I love your daughter very much. Which is why I'm asking for your blessing." Marcus said after a while.

Edward smiled "You are a very traditional man. You have an old soul. Phoebe doesn't need my permission to marry anyone. If she's already said yes."

"Yes, but she and I would love your blessing," Marcus said.

"I will but I ask of you one thing. Will you take care of her? She seems very strong and stubborn." He smiled fondly, "But she can be fragile and needs someone there for her."

Marcus knew he wasn't just talking about marriage. The man's heartbeat was slower for a man of his age who kept active regularly as Edward did. His hair was not only greying but some had fallen out.

He was dying. Slowly, but he was dying.

"Yes sir," He promised. The older (younger) man smiled contently, seeing how serious Marcus was.

Padma gave them a large number of leftovers to take home with them.

"Love you both so, so much." Phoebe hugged and kissed them both. They thought she had just missed them.

....

"That went well." Marcus sighed when they got home. Phoebe, however, was silent. She put the lunchboxes in the fridge and freezer and huffed.

"This is the last time I'll get to eat my mum's food." Phoebe sniffed with a sad smile, "The last time I will be near them without wanting to drink their blood."

"That isn't true." Marcus said wrapping his arms around her, "It will take a long while but you will be able to be around them again,"

"But they won't be my parents," Phoebe said.

"I was so desperate for a different father from my own." Marcus said, "But not every vampire writes off their human family. Miriam will be your sire, and in long while, your mother. But you still have a mother and father who love you."

"I suppose family is more than blood," Phoebe said, "What did my dad ask you when mum and I were in the kitchen?"

"He gave his blessing," Marcus said, "I asked for it."

"Such an 18th-century man." Phoebe teased with a grin.

[goldenhydreigon47]

HEYA gonna try to write the next snbttc chapter here thx for letting me ^^b

okokok

-------

"Ah... Hero, I wish you'd warn me before you made plans. And before you change them, too. You scared me half to death when you knocked on the door so early! I love you, but..."

Hero scratched his head nervously. "Y-Yeah, sorry, Mari. I'll try to be better about that. I just wanted it to be a surprise, is all."

"It certainly was!" she giggled, reaching for his hand.

"C'mon, let's go," she sighed, smiling at him. "Bye-bye, guys! Don't get into any trouble, okay?"

"We won't, promise!" Kel grinned.

"Oh, yeah! Before I forget! While mom and I were out, we got this special tea called soul tea you can try. Just one cup, though, because it was kinda expensive, okay?" called Mari. Soul tea...?

"Thank you!" Basil said, waving goodbye. Sunny shook the question from his mind.

"Mhm! Alright, really. Bye. See you guys later," Mari said, laughing to herself as she shut the front door.

Sunny turned to face Kel. "Um... Soul tea?"

"Yeah, dude! It's this new superfood thing. It tastes really good, but it doesn't have any sugar, or stuff like that," said Kel.

"Yeah, but it's got, like, crushed soul flowers! That's sick!" Aubrey scoffed.

"W-Wait. Crushed what?" Basil stammered.

"I'm not even joking. Their whole business model relies on paying desperate couples a tiny fraction of the company's total earnings from their... like, soul flowers. Markers of love! It's awful."

Sunny and Basil shared a glance, before looking back at Aubrey.

"Aw, Aubrey, you're just being overdramatic! Those people just sell their soul flowers so the company can grow new ones--It's like a side hustle." Kel furrowed his eyebrows, like he just couldn't get her to understand.

"I'm not being dramatic..." Aubrey sighed ruefully. "Fine. Let's just try the dang tea. Mari already bought it, right?"

"...I'll put on a kettle," Sunny said, making his way to the kitchen.

"He'll what?" Kel whispered to Aubrey.

"Put on a kettle, dumbass. Y'know, like a water kettle? Hot water maker?" Aubrey replied snarkily.

"Geez, okay. I've just never heard someone say something like that before," Kel defended, roaming toward the couch. Aubrey and Basil followed in suit.

Basil couldn't relate. Having painfully European heritage, Basil often found himself cooped up at relatives' homes in the summers, somewhere in France, sipping at mugs of cheap tea in old, ruggedy sweats and slippers. His aunt Phoebe had lived in France for a few years, to 'connect with her heritage' or whatever (Thanks, Grandma). She wasn't rich or anything, but it was nice to see a different kind of suburb, through the power of a low-rise apartment complex.

Phoebe decided to settle in Closeby, the closest major city to the American exurb of Faraway. That was good. Basil loved her a lot, despite her tendency to... overdo things, as a pure dramatist, and it was much easier to see her this way. In Closeby, Phoebe met Polly, her fiance. Adorable, right?

-----

gonna stop here--thx for letting me use ur askbox lolol

1. You're welcome use my askbox for stuff like this all the time

2. CLOSEBY IS A GREAT TOWN NAME

[s1ut4harrypotter]

savior complex

George Weasley x Fem!reader

this is based on savior complex by phoebe bridgers, my favorite song. it’s not my best work or anything but i sorta liked writing it. I haven’t been able to figure out endings on any of my wip’s so i might put a bunch of stuff out this week but idk. yet another without a happy ending because as usual i’m a piece of shit.

Warnings: sad, angst, mentions of canon character death, not proofread. If there’s anything wrong with it let me know lolz

word count: 2.5k

lyrics in italics/bold

tags: @amourtentiaa

Emotional affair, overly sincere

It’s been almost a year and a half since Fred died. George seems to be getting better, but also more distant. He is happy and joking around again, but he has been going to see Angelina more often. You and George had been dating since your 6th year at Hogwarts, you were going to be together forever. But now, as the days go by, he is getting farther and farther away from you. 

Smoking in the car, windows up. Crocodile tears

You were there for George, through everything. You didn’t shy away from any of it, the nightmares, the rage, the sadness, you were there. You helped him, he had started smoking, you’d find him in his dad's old Ford Anglia, smoking a cigarette, sobbing. you got in, rolled up the windows, took the cigarette, and took him on a drive.

Run the tap til its clear

 We pulled up to a small cliff we used to hang out at during the summer and held him while he cried. We had talked for the whole night, we only left when the sun started to come up. 

Drift off on the floor

You tried to keep him involved with the rest of the world, so you started having monthly movie nights with the rest of his siblings. One night a month, everyone would go to one person’s flat and watch a movie or two. One month, it was your turn to have everyone at your flat, the two of you lived alone in the flat now, since Fred was gone. George hadn’t been sleeping well and ended up falling asleep halfway through the movie. Once everyone was gone, you cleaned up and decided not to wake him. 

I drag you to the shore

Just as you were about to walk into your bedroom, you heard him. George had been having nightmares since Fred died. Some nights you’d make him a potion for dreamless sleep, but tonight the two of you forgot. You sighed and walked back to the living room,

You’re gonna drown in your sleep, for sure

“Georgie” you whispered. “Georgie it’s me, y/n you gotta wake up darling.” he was sweating buckets and breathing heavily. You gently coaxed him awake and walked him back to your bedroom, he started to cry. “I’m so sorry darling” you cooed, as you stroked his hair, trying to get him to fall back asleep.

Wake up and start a big fire, in our one room apartment

He wouldn’t stop crying now, he was hiccuping and mumbling incoherent things into your chest. You were so tired, you were the only one with a job at this point, not that minded, you had just had a long day and needed to go to sleep. 

But i’m too tired, to have a pissing contest.

“George, darling, you need to breathe, take deep breaths, you’re going to throw up if you don’t calm down Georgie.” he had a bad habit of crying until he threw up, then passing out and falling asleep. 

“He’s gone. It’s my fault. I should’ve been there. It should’ve been me.” He hiccupped out, crying harder now. You were on the verge of tears too, you hated how sad he was. 

“No George. You can’t think like that, it wasn’t your fault. Fred wouldn’t want you to feel this way.” you spoke softly into his ear. 

“Don’t tell me what he would’ve wanted y/n” he suddenly got serious. “You didn’t know him like I did.”

“Of course I didn’t know him like you did George, but I like to think that I knew him pretty well, and I don’t think he was the kind of person to want you wallowing in your bed, wishing it had been you instead of him.”

“God y/n can you just go? Please? I want to be alone tonight.” he said, you scoffed. He couldn’t be serious, but you were tired and you didn’t want to upset him more. You slept on the couch that night.

All the bad dreams that you hide.

You were grieving too, you had met Fred first at Hogwarts, then he introduced you to George. You felt like you had been really good friends with Fred, so it really hurt when George said things like that, but you knew he didn’t really mean it. Sometimes he just said things like that when he was upset, you understood, he was hurting. Sometimes he wouldn’t tell you about his dreams, he would just change the subject whenever you asked, you had dreams about Fred’s death sometimes too. You were with him and Percy when it happened, you’d constantly beat yourself up for it, all the things you could have done differently to save George from this pain, but what’s done is done. 

Show me yours and i’ll show you mine

You wished that George would tell you what was going on with him. He had been going through different stages over the past year, at first he didn’t talk at all. You’d walk by his room at night and he’d be mumbling things to himself, never anything you could make out. Then he started telling you how he was feeling, anything and everything that he felt, he’d tell you. You liked it then, even if he was sad and there wasn’t much you could do about it, at least you could be sad together. Now he didn’t tell you anything, he just brushed you off.

Call me when you land, i’ll drive around again.

You loved him so much, there wasn’t much he could do that you wouldn’t take. You were willing to wait for him to get better. You knew he was hurting, you knew it would take time for him to get back to the ‘old George’, if there was even any of him left. You’d never say it out loud, but you knew everyone else was thinking it. When Fred died, he took a big piece of George with him. It brought you so much heartache that he was in pain. You wished you could just bring Fred back, then maybe you could get your George back. But you were willing to wait.

One hand on the wheel, one in your mouth. Turn me on, and turn me down.

You and him hadn’t been intimate in months, you knew George was hurt, and he would only ever think about it on his good days, which were now few and far between. But it was ok, you were willing to wait for him. You loved him. 

Baby you’re a vampire, you want blood and I promised. I’m a bad liar.

Lately you felt as though you never saw the happy side of George. He’d go out during the day, to meet friends from school he said. He’d never say who it was if you asked, but you figured it was just Lee Jordan or someone else he had been close friends with. He was physically and emotionally exhausted when he got home. It was like he used up any energy he had to be happy wherever he was during the day, then when he got home, you were left to pick up the pieces when he shattered.

With a savior complex

You were beginning to get burned out. You had finally gotten some time for yourself to meet up with some friends, and they suggested you break up with George. You simply couldn’t do that. It may be slightly exhausting to keep up with him, but you knew the old George was still in there. They kept telling you it seemed like you had a savior complex, and that George was a lost cause. Deep down, you knew you were probably the only one still holding on to the relationship, but you still loved him so much. You wouldn’t know what to do without him, even if you knew it was practically already over.

George had been getting further and further away, figuratively and literally. He was almost never home, and when he was, he was back to barely talking, occasionally giving you one or two word answers. You’d ask him how his day was and he’d reply with just “good” not even bothering to ask about your day. 

You were fed up with how things were, you wanted to know if at least he was back to his joking self around his friends. You knew it was wrong, but you followed him one day. Turns out he had just been going to the Leaky Cauldron, at first you were worried he just spent the day drinking. But, you waited a few minutes and went in, only to see him kiss Angelina Johnson on the cheek. 

Ok, maybe they were just catching up, they were good friends at school, you knew that. But the longer you watched, the more you realized you weren’t watching two friends catching up. You were watching your boyfriend, the man you had spent the last 5 years of your life with, with another girl. Deep down, you knew your relationship was over, it had been for months, you were just dragging it out because you didn’t want it to end yet. But you didn’t want it to end like this. 

You wanted to scream, cry, hit him, do something. You had thrown away the last year of your life, devoting yourself to helping George feel better. You spent long nights rubbing his back, whispering comforting things in his ears as he cried into your chest. YOU did that, not her. How could he do this to you? After everything you’ve been through together, everything you had done for him. He threw it all away. 

You were distraught. You were thinking irrationally, sending yourself into a spiral. You called in sick for work and walked back to your flat in a daze. You needed to think about this. For a few minutes, you contemplated obliviating yourself, maybe if you just forgot you saw it, went about your relationship as it was before this morning, it’d be ok. But you knew that wasn’t the right thing to do. So you did the only other thing you thought you could do, you conjured some boxes and started packing. 

You spent the day packing every last trace of your belongings, you called one of your friends and told her something happened with George. You didn’t give her any specifics because the optimistic, or stupid, side of you was holding on to hope that you were overreacting, maybe you saw wrong. Maybe, this was a big huge misunderstanding and you could unpack your stuff with George when he got home and live happily ever after. But you knew that wasn’t the case, so you told her you’d tell her when you got there. You finished packing the last of your stuff a few minutes before George got home, it was later than usual. You didn’t want to face him, you thought about leaving him a letter, telling him you saw what he did and not to contact you ever again. But you needed to hear it from him.

He walked in and saw the boxes, confused he walked into the living room and saw you sitting on the couch, just staring off into the distance. 

“Y/n darling? Are you alright.” he asked, confused.

“No Georgie, but I will be.” you whispered back, sadly.

“What’s with all the boxes? What happened?” he asked again. It was like you were a ghost, or someone else. You were there but not really, he could see you’d been crying. 

“What did I do wrong Georgie? What could I have done differently?” you asked, you could feel the tears starting again.

“Darling I don’t know what you’re talking about, did something happen at work?” he said, he was worried maybe you got fired.

You scoffed. “No George, nothing happened at work. I have been so worried about you lately, you seemed to be getting worse and worse. Coming home from god knows where, in a mess of tears. Just coming home for me to clean up, then going out again the next day.”

When he didn’t reply you continued, “I have spent the last 5 years of my life with you George. Completely devoted to you, through everything I supported you.” you laughed bitterly, “I spent all day packing today, trying desperately to figure out where I went wrong. What I did to you, what I could’ve done differently, to make you love me enough. But it wasn’t me was it?” 

“What are you talking about dear? Why were you packing.” he replied.

“God George you’re just not seeing it are you?” You looked at him, bewildered. “I saw you. You and Angelina.”

“Oh” he whispered.

“OH! THATS ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY GEORGE? OH?” You shouted, he could feel himself starting to cry now too. 

“I have spent so much of my time cleaning up after you, taking care of you, loving you. I can’t believe I’ve been so stupid. I should’ve known. When you started going out more, I told myself, maybe you were just out with friends, when you came home after a long day with Angelina, using up any happiness that you did have with her, who was there to pick up the pieces? ME!” you yelled. 

“I just can't do it anymore George. We’ve been over for a long time, and I need to let you go now.” you trailed off, the last part coming out in a mix between a whimper and a whisper.

“No, darling please let's talk about this!” he begged.

“What is there to talk about George? I saw you, with my own two eyes.” you replied.

“Please baby it was a mistake. I love you so much, please please don’t leave me.” he was begging you, he needed you.

“I can’t George. I’ve spent so much time caring for you, I need time to care for me. I need to get better too. I just can’t do this anymore, there won’t be anything left of me if I keep giving it all to you.”

He broke down next to you, crying. You stood up, ready to disapparate with your things, but he ran up to you and hugged you.

“Please don’t leave me y/n. I’m so sorry! It was a mistake I love you so much.”

“You need to let me go Georgie, I'm sorry. I need to go.” you whispered, calmly removing his arms from their tight hold around your waist.

You whispered a quiet, final goodbye, before disapparating from his flat and to your friends home, you both needed to move on.

[spacebird-diaries]

Sisters

Bailey turned over in bed, her brain too full of noise to sleep.  She peered at the alarm clock on the nightstand – 11:30.  At this rate, she’d never get enough sleep for school tomorrow. And trying to fake sick for the third time in two weeks would only get her into trouble.

Sighing heavily, Bailey pushed her stuffed unicorn aside and reached for her slippers.  Phoebe was across the room, dead asleep in her own bed.  Bailey couldn’t turn the lamp on, but there was just enough moonlight coming through the window that she could sort of see.

Bailey opened and shut the door as quietly as she could, slipping down the hall with hardly a sound.  All she needed was a drink, and maybe a snack.  Just something to distract herself with.  She was almost to the kitchen when she heard voices in the living room.

“I just don’t know where I went wrong with that girl,” her mother was saying.  “Why she’s turning out like this.”

“Sweetheart…”  Bailey’s father’s voice was tired, heavy with something Bailey couldn’t quite grasp.  “You know how often she and Portia would get into fights.  It’s not your fault.  It’s just… In her nature.  She’s short-tempered and volatile, and she gets that from me.”

Bailey froze, pressing against the wall.  Were they talking about her?  Or Phoebe?

“I had my share of scraps with my brother too,” Mom countered.  “But she’s getting so violent, Sam.  And she’s only twelve!  I’m worried! I mean, listen to this: ‘I’m so full of rage.  The kids at school won’t quit bugging me, and I know there’s some kind of joke I’m not in on. That I’m some kind of joke to them.  I want to hurt them.  I don’t like that about myself.’”

Bailey’s eyes widened and she pressed a hand to her mouth.  They were talking about her.  Worse, they were reading her diary!  That was supposed to be private!

“She’s clearly not getting along with the other kids at school,” Bailey’s mother continued.  “We might have to pull her out if this keeps up, homeschool her.  I keep getting called into the office because she threatened to bite someone’s face off or something!  She punched Amy Baker’s little boy the other day!”

“Isn’t he the boy that tried to invite her to the church social because he was worried about her going to hell or something?”

“That’s the one.  I know, I’d probably have bopped him too at her age, but that doesn’t make it right!  Besides, she broke his nose.”

He deserved it, Bailey thought to herself, crossing her arms and balling her fists up.  Stupid jerk said I was gonna burn in hell just because I didn’t go to church and read vampire books instead.

“Ava, honey, I really don’t think it’s as bad as you’re afraid.  It’s not like she wants to hurt the other kids, after all.”

“It is exactly as bad as I’m afraid!” Mom’s voice was rising despite her best efforts.  “That girl is trouble.  Something’s wrong with her and I don’t know how to fix it!”

Bailey bit down on a sob, hating the way she flinched at that.  Something was… Wrong with her.  She was broken.  She’d known it, but hearing her mother echo it unprompted…  It hurt.

Bailey pushed away from the wall, teeth clenched to keep herself from crying, and snuck back up towards her room.  She didn’t feel like getting that snack anymore.  The bedroom door slammed behind her, and Bailey winced, curling away from it.

“…Bales?”  Phoebe sat up in bed and turned her lamp on, the shade casting light around in moon-and-star shaped cutouts.  “What’s goin’ on?”

Bailey sniffled, hot, angry tears finally welling up in her eyes.  “I – She – It’s –”  Her words fell apart faster than she could form them, punctuated by wet, gasping sobs.

“Oh, shit.  Uh, c’mere.”  Phee opened up her arms.  “I know Ed’s hugs are better, but let me try.”

Bailey threw herself across the room, scrambling into her big sister’s bed and trying to fold herself into Phoebe’s smaller frame.

They sat like that for a while, Bailey muffling her sobs and Phoebe tucking the blankets around her little sister’s shoulders. A knock sounded at the door.

“Girls?”  It was their dad.  “We heard the door slam.  Everything alright?”

“It’s fine,” Phoebe called, protective arms pulling Bailey close.   “Just a nightmare.  We’ve got it handled.”

 “…Alright then.”  He clearly didn’t believe Phoebe, but he didn’t argue.  “I hope you sleep better.  I’ll see you in the morning; I love you.”

Phoebe sighed.  “Love you too, Dad.”

Bailey pulled back, peering at her sister with red-rimmed eyes.  “I’m sorry.”

“Shush.”  Phoebe booped Bailey’s nose.  “This is what big sisters are for, after all.  Not just stealing your shirts and embarrassing you in front of cute boys.”

Bailey giggled, rubbing the back of her hand over her eyes.  “I keep telling you, I don’t like-like Gavin.  He’s just a friend.”

“Suuuure.  And you’re totally playing knights-and-wizards in the woods every Sunday as friends.”

“…Sometimes we pretend we’re enemies?”

Phee sighed and shook her head.  “Whatever.  Now go on – I have band practice in the morning, and didn’t you say you had a test first-hour?  We both need sleep.”

Bailey stuck her tongue out at her sister, but slid off the mattress and crossed to her own side of the room.  “Fii-iiine.  But you gotta wake me up when you get up.  I need to cram for that test.”

“I’ll try, but you sleep like a log.  Don’t blame me if you get a bad grade.”

Bailey smiled and snuggled down into her blankets, dragging her stuffed unicorn close.  “…Hey, Phee?”

“What’s up, buttercup?”

“I love you.  A lot.”

“…I love you too, Bailey-bean.  Now get some sleep, okay?”

“’Kay.”

[thelanguageoflovers]

so you’re trying to understand sophia and i’s jatp universe

@localspacelesbian​​ and I never intended for this to get so out of hand, but then it did, so here we are. We’ve got a few wips going, so I figured it was about time to get around to one of these.

it’s okay if you’re lost, because so are we! here’s a little guide to help you out (:

CHARACTERS:

The Lacrosse Team:

Spencer Montgomery-Wright: Our pride and joy. He’s on the lacrosse team, and can be seen being bewildered with Nick when the guys show up during ‘Bright’. Some have referred to him as the guy who is called ‘Letterman Jacket Guy’ on IMDb - these people are wrong. Letterman Jacket Guy is a white blonde guy. Spencer is black. He’s in the design program at their school and designs costumes for all the ballets. 

He and Nick have been best friends since they were little, and have exchanged stuffed animals (Nick gave Spencer a stuffed penguin named Texas, and Spencer returned the favor with a stuffed elephant named Oklahoma). They’re total astronomy dorks (Spencer calls Nick ‘Tor’ after Copernicus, and Nick calls Spencer ‘Cass’ after Cassini). They’re also in love, but they’re still working through that. 

Connor Nesbitt: The aforementioned ‘Letterman Jacket Guy’. He’s the captain of the lacrosse team, the very definition of a himbo. He’s in the cinematic arts program, but, like, really likes history.

Nick Danforth-Evans: Pretty self-explanatory, but the Danforth-Evans theory is canon in the SACU (Sophia and Adalie Cinematic Universe).

Chris McMillan: Chris is a sweetheart. He’s in the theater program but wants to be a farmer and raise sheep when he grows up. He just really likes farm animals, okay?

Barry O’Hara: A good dude! He’s in the dance program, and his Special Interest is linguistics and communication.

Rasheed Bakir: Rasheed!! He’s a bit of a running joke in our work, as he constantly hurts his legs and feet. He’s been known to ride in Connor’s car with a broken ankle hanging out the window. It’s fine. He’s in the theater program, hates Shakespeare more than anything, and is dating Ari Price.

Ari Price: Just a lil visual arts program kid. Constantly so worried about Rasheed. The Ultimate mom friend; his backpack is the equivalent of Alex’s fanny pack, and he makes a very good soup when one of the guys is sick.

Leo Montgomery: He’s Spencer’s cousin! Very buff and a little bit scary but is a whole teddy bear. He’s in the music program, and is so tired of watching Nick and Spencer pine. He’s a science nerd, except for biology. Fuck biology. All his homies hate biology.

Percy Mayer: We love Percy so much. He’s a Ballet Boy, and he’s fake dating a girl in ballet named Constance Hansen. He’s probably aro, but is still a little confused about that.

Oren Summers: Oren is a freshman in the visual arts program. Kind of just one of those nice guys you meet in school who are just cool to be around.

Grayson Radcliffe: Grayson plays the french horn in the music program, and is in our token heterosexual relationship with Jennifer Brickaday.

Dirty Candi

Kayla Lavelle: Y’all know Kayla. We named her ‘Lavelle’ because we went with a color based system and, yk, lavender.

Jennifer Brickaday: Yellow Candi! Dating Grayson, and we just don’t deserve her. Brickaday is a reference to the yellow brick road.

Andrea Turkis: Miss Turquoise Candi! Probably our favorite candi - she’s a lesbian and just gives the best hugs. (Turkis means turquoise in several languages.)

Velma Williams: Orange Candi! Straight up the coolest person alive. She’s aro, and helps Percy sort out his sexuality. Just really likes dinosaurs, you know? (Williams is for William of Orange)

Mary Brooks: Not a member of Dirty Candi, but their manager. Totally not in love with Julie what are you talking about that’s bananas (Mary - marron (brown) and Brooks is just a slightly less on-the-nose version of Brown).

Those Done Dirty:

Flynn Chadwick: Chat means cat in french, but we wanted Chadwick because it sounded neat.

Willie Greenwood: He just gives us green vibes I don’t know what to tell you

The Families:

The Danforth-Evans Family: Nick, Ryan, and Chad are a given. Nick also has a little sister named Phoebe Danforth-Evans. Phoebe is a gymnast and general rascal.

The Montgomery-Wright Family: Buckle up, y’all. Spencer has seven pets. - Laura Montgomery: Mom #1. Very chill, but very protective. - Francesca ‘Franny’ Wright: Mom #2. Just the sweetest, but is willing to cause harm to a bitch if necessary. - Dog: Herbert Fitzhoover (the light of all of our lives) - Cats: Tongs, Spoon, and Spatula. They’re just like old gay men. No further comment. - Bird: Chicken the parakeet. Spencer found him at the airport and just... brought him home. - Roomba: BoBo. Very Good Boy. - Kinda Penguin: Texas (a lesbian icon, married to Oklahoma)

The Chadwick Family:  - Dad: Nico Chadwick. Just, like, a really good dad. Living the life. - Older Brother: Andrew Chadwick. Absolute nerd, away at university, drinks his respecting women juice every day. - Younger Sisters: Rachel & Eliza Chadwick. Twins - they love tormenting Flynn. - Cat: Snoopy. The love of my life.

The Wilson Family:  - Cat: Peanut!! love him

The Mercer Family: - Alex’s Younger Sister: Annabelle ‘Annie’ Mercer. Deaf, has a bright pink hearing aid. Wants to be just like her big brother (is already halfway there, being that she is wildly queer).

RUNNING AND INSIDE JOKES:

Octoslashers III: Octoslashers shows up as some form of media in every fic we write. Every single one.

Twister: Alex is a GOD at Twister, and there’s no debating this.

Rasheed’s Leg: Rasheed breaks his leg, foot, or ankle somehow in every fic. He’s trying.

The Caleb Chew-Out: Let’s just say I’m making it my mission to write a scene into every fic of ours where a character yells at Caleb, and everyone is going to get their turn. 

Oklahomas: Oklahoma and Texas are soulmates in every universe. 

questions? let me know! i’ll add the answers (:

[reversecreek]

struts onto the dash carrying this deliriously wriggling little elf in my arms like a swaddled bebe......... they’re genuinely my oldest muse of all time i think i created them when i was like. 13 possibly. n i haven’t written them in Years but. i’m literally so excited to jst vibrating w muse. smiles at u all demurely..... they have risen. u can find their pinterest here n their playlist here.

* alana champion, nonbinary + they/them | you know nyla palmer, right? they’re twenty-two, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, eight months? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to 6669 (i don’t know if you know) by neon indian like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole a two headed doll of a prairie girl with stitched on rabbit ears and butterfly wings, befriending shadow puppets & finding god with your eyes open underwater in a public pool you broke into thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is march 2nd, so they’re a pisces, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt she/her  )

HISTORY:

was born in georgiaaaa georgiaaaa (phoebe bridgers voice holds my bang...) to a vry honest hard working man named george (omgggg he’s called GEORGE and he’s from GEORGIA? ahaaaaa fuckk ur jestinggg) nd a woman who did her best named pamela..... george worked on a construction site n pamela was a pharmacist..... their house was this small rickety white thing with a wrap around porch n a very rabid overgrown garden tht kind of looked like the earth ws trying to reclaim it bc nobody ever hd the time or motivation to mow the lawn.... there ws literally a piece of fold out furniture just entirely submerged by weeds n foliage

nyla ws always closest w their dad george..... he hd this way of looking at the world tht was seeing the best in all of it.... he took them on long walks where he talked abt how u have to respect the trees bc they’re breathing fr us n we’re breathing fr them..... he hd a strange whimsical sense of humour n a gnome alter ego called grundlebolt who always tickled them..... in a way this closeness created a distance between nyla n their mother but not so much that it ws rly a problem. just enough tht nyla sometimes waited until their mother ws out of eye n ear shot to tell their dad they loved him bc they didn’t wna make her sad >_>

(mental health, death & grief tw) pamela always struggled w her mental health but george ws great n understanding n knew how to help her thru this... nyla didn’t get it too greatly at a very young age bt they knew their mum got “the sads” sometimes (how their dad wld explain tht she needed to lay down in the quiet for a while or why she’d stood at the stove n let the dinner burn until the smoke detector went off without doing anything abt it). when nyla was 14 they got home one day to a police car in the driveway n came prancing in exuberantly as they always did. immediately hugged the legs of an officer bc this is hw they wld greet everyone they ever met. they only realised something was wrong when they let go n saw their mum sat at the table crying. essentially there ws an accident at the construction site george worked at n :/ yeah. 

(jst mental health & grief tw now) this rly had an intense ripple effect on everyone tbh. pamela’s mental health deteriorated quite a lot without george there as her rock n nyla sort of had to step in as best they cld but it was....... hard. some days she ws better bt some days nyla had to sit her in the bath n stroke a wet sponge over her back bc they didn’t know how else to calm her down. nyla always had a very overactive imagination which george encouraged bt it ws like. losing him rly opened a window in nyla’s head n all rationality went floating out of it. their dreams seemed more real than being awake. fantasy wasn’t jst the way they coped bt it was the way they thought n the way they saw. everything on earth was alive. the trees n the clouds n the wall with a brick missing at the bottom of her road n especially their dad. their dad was alive in everything in nyla’s head. the sun shining extra bright in the morning was george. ponds were a veil they could dunk her head under and find george waiting on the other side. reality rly just pulled the plug n said bye tbh n they were ok w that <3

(abuse implied tw) their mum remarried too fast to a man named stephen n it was jst not a good arrangement. he was Not a nice man. i won’t go into this but home wasn’t a nice place for nyla any more n after a couple of yrs stephen wound up asking them to leave n their mum said nothing to contradict tht. there’s more to this bt long story short nyla left <3

(drugs tw) they couch surfed fr a while before settling living w their best friend. they got up to like... all sorts of trouble n grew up far too fast. nyla’s lack of sense n realism hd a habit of getting them into some sticky situations n these few yrs were a rollercoaster where they got by on the skin of their teeth. when they think of high skl they think of gravel and skinned knees and sucking sherbet dunkers to ignore the taste of pennies in ur mouth and getting lost in the woods a lot bc they’d take FAR too many drugs n be lead astray having conversations with kind trees whose branches held their hands

(drug mention) got by on odd jobs like making candles n selling them at market stalls. leaf blowing at cemeteries. face painting fr children’s parties (where they were blatantly high). random stuff. all over the place. in this time them n their best friend also hd a sugar daddy named tony who always wore very impressive colour block suits n mink stoles n jewelled fedoras n hd a swanky apartment w marble floors. rly just. surreal. lots of strange stories frm this time.

things kind of blew up in their friendship group n they fell out w their best friend raya bc she slept w this guy aj who nyla hd been madly in love w for yrs.... he was a Stinker n honestly so ws their best friend so good riddance i say bt obviously it felt like having their entire world flipped upside dwn fr nyla.... they split after this came out bc they just did Not want to b around these ppl any more n they decided to leave w this guy frm a band they barely knew tht much save fr a one night stand to tour w them..... this ws another whirlwind. jst chock full of them. it ws similar to being on a teacup ride at a carnival n spinning round n round n only knowing u were surrounded by lots of lights. tht’s how they’d best describe their time on tour.

SO in terms of them coming to irving 8 months ago they came w the band.... they honestly did pretty well on tour n wound up renting a big beach house on dorado as a kind of “retreat” sort of place fr them to shack up in while they worked on writing and recording their first big studio album (they gt signed w a label so it’s all vry exciting stuff). nyla among like 3 others were allowed to stay w them too bc they hd a lot of fun on tour. literally jst. taken on as professional groupies essentially. nyla loved it bc they’d never seen the ocean n when they first got there they jst threw off all their clothes n ran straight into the water. it was 3pm on a tuesday afternoon. they got arrested fr public indecency n didn’t get why bc they were like but i just wanted to hug the ocean u silly little oinker? i picture the beach house as like. the loudest one on dorado.... comes alive like a jungle at night..... they r probably bad neighbours. anyway. onto personality puts hand on hip.

PERSONALITY:

sets out patio furniture on someone else’s lawn n jst takes a seat n leans back like ahhhhh vat a nice day to be alive ya! (swedish accent suddenly bc they think it’s fun). they come out n start yelling n they’re jst so confused they’re like hey wat’s the big idea hey wat’s go on here why u angies why this happen?

likes drawing imaginary veins over their arms in all different colour blue pens in a sudden fit of hyperfixation n then forgets all abt it n goes out like tht n scares several townsfolk bt they’re oblivious they’re jst in her own world loving life already onto the next fixation. has many many different fads like this. one day will jst start snipping up a bunch of magazines bc they’re like EYES ARE COOL N THEY SEE EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P n they’ll stick a bunch of them over their wall n then forget they was doing that n leap onto the next. quite a pattern. bt they love the vein thing a lot it makes them feel like a walking planetarium like they have their own constellations

sometimes jst doesn’t make sense. they’re honestly kind of strange. pops up in places like they suddenly materialised there n it’s like how did u get there where have u been when were u last seen are u ok. has the energy of an ancient deity frm deep in a mountain cave n an ambiguous forest sprite all at once..... talks shit honestly. abt anything n everything. sometimes outrageous. sometimes plain incoherent. like what are u talking about? i dnt kno. even i dnt kno sometimes.

luvs stick n pokes will let anyone tattoo whatever they want on them for the price of a gummy bear kindly placed onto their tongue n swallowed whole

has this obsession w being underwater w their eyes open luvs it. calls it their tadpole time. runs baths just to lie there blinking looking around n drifting her arms. best friends w the bottom of any local swimming pool n hs probably given it a quick kiss so it knows they’re bff’s n then got sick bc there’s sm germs in a public pool. says the kgb probably poisoned their oatmeal n r finally here to deliver on their promise n THAT’S why they got sick unrelated to the pool incident. what promise? noone knows.

unclear if they believe what they say or if they jst has a very expanded sense of humour where they nvr let on if they’re joking.... lines r blurred a lot..... 

loves excitedly shouting things. sometimes just screams at the sky bc they say it’s good to let the creatures in ur belly fly out every once in a while otherwise their wings get sore.

(drugs tw) still does an excessive amt of hallucinogens n it kind of shows. very bad fr their brain bt we’re going to ignore it.

dresses fun n strange n eccentric n careless. loves to experiment. does nt care abt what’s considered to be societally appropriate. living in their own world.

sleeps around a lot... jst doesn’t rly see sex as a big deal.... very free w themselves in that way..... sometimes greets their friends w a kiss on the lips they’re like awww :) kisses <3 when they run into them in the middle of the cereal aisle n then pulls away n suddenly breaks into a box tht has a free toy in it bc it’s a banana with googly eyes n that’s the best thing they’ve ever heard in their LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! n isn’t he so HANDSOME????? enchante indeed my good sir ;)... gives the toy a kiss too.

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

other groupies of the band: self explanatory a little.... i dnt have a name for the band yet bt all can b worked out..... i picture them as kind of. not that nice but like. there for a good time........ rock genre.... bit chaotic...... to say the least........ they dnt have to have come there w the band like nyla n the others they cld have been adopted in their time there.... whoever wld b wild n down fr a good time <3

chaotic trash goblin friends: idk what this title rly means it just came to me in a vision....... jst ppl tht r rly kind of off the rails n don’t care abt anything...... they r who nyla tends to mesh very well w......... they rly r living in their own world n by their own rules n they like ppl who do this too <3 inevitably they get up to no good n party far too much...... cld be angst to this if they enable each other’s bad habits...... world’s our oyster. opens my office door. let’s talk abt it.

nyla set up camp on their front lawn: maybe jst w a fold out chair. maybe w a literal pop up tent w someone else too. genuinely so bizarre of them bt that’s what we’re dealing with. they poke their head into the tent n nyla’s lying down crunching on a cracker crumbs over their tits n they just hold it out to them nt even fully consumed n are like hey polly want a cracker? :)

they responded to her craigslist ad: they posted one saying they cld cleanse their house of demonic energy bc they’re an all seeing eye in touch w the spirits. this is a lie. they came n waved sage around n did a little dance as they did it w bird sounds playing on a special cd they brought fr the occasion (had weird indistinct doodles over the case it ws brought in) n then ws like OOH! scary.... n jumped at something in the hall. they go in thinking maybe they’ve seen a ghost bt they just were startled by their own reflection in a mirror n is like. scary mirror placement...... might wna reconsider that........ they charge them merely 10 dollars fr their time n is like this was so fun we shd do it again some time :) also i think u have mould on ur bathroom tile! vanishes. they dnt recall them ever going to the bathroom.

came knocking asking for items for a garage sale: yes. u heard that right. they’re asking for ur muses things to set up their own garage sale. selling items that do not belong to them. they think this is a genius business strategy n don’t understand why ppl think this is so strange or why they cant just ask ppl to donate them things to sell bc hey they’re an entrepreneur? they even had a pencil behind their ear when they knocked on the door so why aren’t ppl taking their business seriously? probably got distracted several times trying to explain their pitch n chattered abt random other things instead.

honestly anything... fwbs... flings... good influence... someone who cnt stand the fact they’re barely coherent.... someone they stopped on the street one day n asked for their opinion on water beds.... we cn do literally anything. fling ur chara my way n we can talk.

[aussiearrow]

Who’s Got Your Love - Chapter 7

Tagging Islanders : @hotyeehawman , @bastardkingbrutalizer

Normal Tags : @oleksiaksjamie

                                     Who’s Got Your Love - Chapter 7

                       Week 3 : Chapter 1 : You Got My Heart Racing

                                                        Drew

True to his word Jay made sure the last night at the villa for Drew was a memorable one. The islanders all played a game of never have I ever that for sure got people talking afterwards but Drew could care less. He couldn’t quite get into it anyway knowing that in the morning he’ll be out of the villa and on his way to Phoebe. 

He watched as the islanders all got worked up over who has done what or who hasn’t done anything at all Jay was one of the shocking one to all of the girls but to the guys not so much as they’ve all heard the stories when they all talked. And how he ended up with Kat surely no one understood. 

But Drew wasn’t so sure of Jay’s intentions with her, he didn’t doubt that Jay liked Kat a lot but what if someone came in that was really interested in Jay? Usually this would mean he’d pull Jay for a chat but if Phoebe was watching he knew Kat would be the more one more likely needing to be pulled. 

So he did just that using Phoebe as an excuse so no one would suggest otherwise as they went and sat down by the pool,” I bet you’re happy to escape here tomorrow.” Kat said with a laugh.

“Oh no doubt. But Pete would kill me if I left without warning you about Jay.” Drew said. 

“What do you mean warn me about Jay?” 

“Nothing bad, Jay is just Jay to tell what he’s actually thinking with when he makes decision I just want to make sure you stick to your guns and not close yourself off from others you never know who is going to walk through the door.” Drew said as he watched as Kat took everything in that he said. 

“Yeah, I get that I’m still learning a lot obviously but I’ll keep what you said in mind.” Kat said as she got up and Drew offered her a hug,” I probably won’t be up when you leave in the morning but tell Phoebe I said hi and that I know she’s watching everything and I’ll be careful but not too careful.” She said as she accepted the hug. 

That next morning Drew set off to go see Phoebe and hoped for the best. 

                                                     Kat

The next morning Kat woke up as she slipped out of Jay’s arms. Not so surprisingly she didn’t get the best sleep last night with what got revealed during their little game, I guess it is true all you need to reveal someone’s true self is a little bit of alcohol and some stupid high school game. And than Drew pulling her for that chat didn’t help her feelings either. 

She knew that anyone could walk through the door at anytime and that Jay’s attention could go elsewhere. She hated how all she could think about was him finding someone else and not her. She could change her mind too if she wanted right?

That anyone could walk into this villa right now hell through that kitchen door and her mind could change too. 

Almost as if she manifested that the door opened and expecting it to just be Jay or another islander Kat continued on making breakfast. 

“Oh someone is awake?” Kat heard the voice say except it wasn’t a voice that she recognized as she turned towards the voice and saw an attractive man who offered her a sweet smile,” Your Kat right?” He asked as she nodded quickly. 

“Yeah that’s uh that’s me.” Kat said as she offered her hand. 

“Trent.” He said as he took it,” So do you always make breakfast or does someone else usually make it for you? Cause I wouldn’t mind.” 

                                                     Pete

The first night Pete wasn’t sure what was okay and what wasn’t as Pete pushed the boundary a bit more as he and Alex had a bit more courage. He was sure the others heard as they spent most of the night making out. 

Pete didn’t care he purposely picked the bed closest to James and Briana. He wanted Alex to know where his attention was and that it wasn’t leaving her anytime soon.

Alex opened her eyes as Pete stretched out,” Good morning.” Alex said. 

“ Morning love. I’m going to make some breakfast, I’ll meet you out there?”

“Yeah of course.” Alex said as Pete leaned back and kissed her again before he headed off. 

As he walked into the kitchen he saw Kat, Jay, Callie, Nick, and a guy that he didn’t recognize but figured this was the guy who was sent in to replace Drew. 

“So Trent did they tell you what was up when you came in here?” Nick asked as Pete started to make breakfast. 

“I was just told that I can pick two people to go out on a date with for lunch than later on we’ll have some challenge.” 

“Do you have an idea on who you want to take?” Jay asked as Pete couldn’t help but turn to look cause he just wanted to make sure that Alex was not going to be one of them but out of the corner of his eye he saw Kat slip out of the kitchen and go to the girls room. 

“Well I’m certainly thinking of one, I haven’t really thought much into the other but I have a thought.” Trent said. 

“Oh come on you aren’t going to give us a hint.” Nick said with a laugh as Callie looked at him and playfully smacked his arm. 

Nick and Callie shared a look as Pete raised his eyebrows before he went back to finishing making breakfast for him and Alex. 

                                                   Callie 

Callie asked Nick if the two of them could talk after they both finished their breakfast as Adam woke up and left to do who knows what. Of course Nick agreed without even a second thought as the two made their way over to the lounge chairs. 

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Nick asked having been around her long enough to know when something was wrong. 

“Not the greatest and I don’t know what it is.” 

“Have you told Adam?” 

“Okay maybe I do know what the problem is.” Callie said sheepishly. 

Callie hated to admit that she may have led Adam on when her true feelings were for Nick and now that it isn’t Nick that she’s with at the end of the day it just made it all that much more real. 

“Oh no trouble in paradise?” Nick said. Callie knew he truly meant it as a joke but deep down that he also really meant it. 

“Kind of hard to have trouble when there isn’t really a place to have trouble in.” Callie said as she looked at Nick with sad eyes. 

“ If it helps any, I don’t think Layla was the right choice for me either.” 

“Oh yeah? And who was?” Callie said. 

“I think we both know the answer to that.” Nick said. 

                                                    James

James met Trent sometime during breakfast and the two clicked. It seemed like everyone else here already had that one friend as the person to have their book but when James met Trent he knew that was his friend in the villa. 

“Do you know who you’re taking on the dates?” James asked. 

“Kat for sure, I was thinking Alex too but she’s really into Pete.” 

“And Kat is really into Jay, your pain?” James said blankly. 

“Yeah but Pete is cool and so are you. I don’t feel too bad stepping on Jay’s toes. Plus I watched before coming here to the villa and Kat deserves better.” Trent said with a shrug. 

“What do you mean you watched the show before coming in and know that she deserves better?” 

“Jay and Layla- “ Trent was cut off by his phone going off before he looked down,” I’ll tell you later I got two dates to go on now.” Trent said as he stood up,” Hey I got a text!” He said as he headed off in the direction of where everyone else was. 

As everyone gathered around as Trent announced that it was time for him to go on a date with two of the girls. 

“First up I pick Kat.” He said as he smiled after everyone ooh’d,” Next up I’m sorry I’m going to have to go with Alex.” James couldn’t help but laugh. But he knew Trent’s intentions were good and he was trying this new thing where he didn’t get jealous over people that came in and wanted to try thing with Alex. 

Deep down he knew he’d still be there for her in the end but he had Briana now and she was very obviously with Pete. 

But James knew Trent told his intentions to Pete as well but nonetheless he didn’t look to fazed and that was the difference between him and James, or at least one of them. 

They all bid the three a farewell before they went about themselves James being the curious one about what Trent was about to say before the text came in. 

                                                       Layla

As the three of them headed out, Layla watched as everyone went about their days. Layla thought about all the people she could possibly have a conversation with now that Alex and Kat were preoccupied on their date.

She decided now would be the perfect time to talk to Jay. Not really having the chance to in awhile since he and Kat have been almost inseparable she thought with a laugh.

“ Jay can we talk?” Layla asked as he turned to look at her.

“ Is that a good idea?”

“Well it’s not the worst idea we’ve both had. I just want to talk about everything and how it went down between us.” She said with a sigh ,” Plus I’m sick of being the bad guy for choosing you out of no where that night when you never actually told me you didn’t want me too like everyone seemingly thinks.”

Jay nodded his head ,” Yeah I guess we should talk than. “ He said as he moved over for Layla to join him on the couch.

“ I don’t really have much to say except that I’m sorry if it seemed like I was leading you on.” Jay said.

“ I don’t care about that. I just care about the fact that everyone sees me as this horrible person because you can’t tell them you actually liked me or liked me enough to make out with me a few times all while you chased after Kat.”

“ It wasn’t like that.” Jay said.

“ Are you sure? Cause Briana said it even came across that way on the tv. If you think that it’ll ruin you and Kat maybe you should tell her before the new people do.” Layla said as she got up and made her way back over to where everyone else was trying to spy on the dates.

Nick

Nick watched as Jay and Layla sat down for a talk as he nudged Callie to check it out soon enough the whole villa watched the interaction with shaking heads.

“ Isn’t it ladies choice this time around?” Pete said. 

“As far as I know yes unless there’s another challenge that says otherwise.” Adam said. 

As they all nodded,” I don’t think she’ll do that again.” James said as everyone turned to look at him as he shrugged.

“Yeah why does she have to be the bad guy? Did anyone even ask Jay why?” Briana said.

“We all did, he said he didn’t know.” Nick said with a shrug. 

“And you guys accepted that?” Briana said.

“Callie rolled her eyes before she walked away from the group, she was never one to want the drama. As everyone turned back to Briana. 

“Should we not?” Adam said. 

“Should we not what?” Layla said as she joined the group as everyone sighed. 

“Nothing.” Adam said as they turned towards the other date that was going on,” We just thought about if we should ruin the date.” 

“I vote yes.” Pete said with a shrug. 

“ Not surprised.” Nick said,” Where did Callie go?” 

                                           Briana

Briana desperately wanted to tell the villa but when Layla came over and everyone acted like they didn’t just have the conversation they were having it was going to be something that had to take place at another time. 

It was only a matter of time before they all returned from their dates as the girls were ushered into their room to talk about the date before any of them can return to their respected couple as Briana followed everyone inside. 

“ So how was it?” Callie said to both Alex and Kat. 

“It was okay,” I guess I just missed Pete.” 

“Last night that memorable you can’t enjoy a date with someone else?” Callie asked with a laugh. 

“What do you mean last night?” Alex said as she innocently looked at Callie and the girls. 

“You and Pete made out like half the night at least I hope that’s what that was.” Kat said with a laugh. 

“Oh god.” Alex said,” Fine, fine. Yeah that make out session was great and yes that’s all it was. Now Kat, how was it?”

Briana looked over at her hoping that she would say something that led everyone to believe that she was giving Trent a fair chance, “ I don’t know I mean he’s obviously a really great guy. Super sweet and funny for sure..” Kat said as she trailed off a little bit. 

“ But?” Briana asked. 

“But I really like Jay. And I want to see where that goes so whoever is interested in Trent go ahead.” Kat s aid as she got ready for tonight’s challenge. 

                                                      Jay 

As the guys headed to sit down by the firepit for something other than the recoupling which was nice for once. Jay looked down at his heart rate monitor. 

“I hope these things work properly.” Nick said with a laugh. 

“We’re about to find out.” James said as Layla came out dressed like a maid. Jay felt his heart beat pick up a little but he hoped that it truly meant nothing and that it doesn’t get him in anymore trouble. 

As Layla did her routine, Jay knew she purposely came over and teased him before she finally went over to Nick. As the guys all hollered before she went over and back to where the girls were. 

They all checked their monitors as Layla went up as they looked at Jay,” You in trouble yet?” James asked him. 

“I sure hope not.” Jay said honestly. He knew all the girls left were watching everything go down which made everything that much more nerve wracking. 

They didn’t have much to dwell on as Briana made her way out dressed like a cop as she did her routine choosing to mainly focus on James as the girls hollered from the top. The guys laughed when they looked at James once Briana went back to the girls. 

“Are you okay over there?” Trent asked him with a laugh as he pushed James a little bit who dramatically fell on the floor. 

“ I think it’s broken.” James said as they all laughed. 

Trent looked at it as he helped James back up and onto the couch as they both played around with it until it finally started working again properly. 

“Well that was quite the delay.” Trent said. 

Just as Kat walked out dressed as a firefighter,” Well your turn.” Jay heard James tell Trent as they looked over at her. 

                                                  Alex 

Alex could feel all the nerves that all the girls felt before they went down but the amount of nerves that got lifted the second they all made their way back with laughs. 

“Okay wow.” Kat said once she returned. 

“Where did your hat go?” One of the girls asked. 

“Trent stole it.” 

“Wait you danced for Trent?” Alex said with a laugh. 

“I figured it would make Jay jealous.” Kat said with a slight blush. 

“Maybe, but maybe also you secretly wanted to do that?” Alex said. 

“ I- “ Kat was about to say something when Alex got told it was her turn to go. 

“It’s alright girl, live a little. It’s okay if you don’t have it figured out. I sure as hell don’t, but I’m having a blast figuring it out.” Alex said as she adjusted her nurses uniform before she made her way down the stairs and walked over to the guys. 

She took a play out of the some of the other girls playbooks as she first decided to give a different guy a dance. With that lucky guy being James before she went over and gave Pete one hell of a dance before placing a soft kiss to his lips and heading out.

“Lucky bastard.” Alex heard Jay say as she laughed and re joined the rest of the girls as Callie headed down for her turn. 

                                             Adam Cole ( bay bay) 

As Callie finished up her turn not even giving Adam a dance before she made her way back to the girls. None of the guys said anything as they looked down at their monitors to take them off. 

As it was now their turn to dance for the girls. The guys all got ready before making their way up to where the girls once stood. 

It was Pete’s turn to start it up for the guys. 

One by one all the guys went through as the girls laughs and oohs can be heard all throughout the villa. It was funny watching all of them check their monitors after all the guys had their respected turn. 

Adam and the rest of the guys slowly made their way down to where the firepit was when the music started back up again as Adam turned around to look at everyone. 

“What?” 

“You don’t hear that music?” 

“Maybe there is just music playing for a little party?” Nick said as they finished stepping all the way down. 

“Or it’s another new guy.” Trent said as they all looked at the guy dressed like a cowboy. 

“Oh wow.” Jay said. 

They all watched everything go down in the corner. And you can see Adam’s wheels turning as the guy took his time with all the ladies but paid extra attention to Callie before the music ended. 

                                             Hangman

Walking through the doors as everyone thought the challenge was over as the girls all watched him walk over to them. 

“ I think I’m going to faint.” He heard one of the girls say. 

“No, don’t that’s not allowed Callie.” He heard another one say as he offered up a sweet smile and tipped his cowboy hat. 

Adam truly didn’t get a good look at all the girls at first but as he took time to dance for them he did. But when his eyes landed on Callie he swore a little to himself and knew that he was in for some trouble as the song ended and he placed his cowboy hat on Callie’s head. 

“ I’m Adam by the way.” He said mainly to Callie. 

“Callie.” She said as she shook his hand. 

Adam took a seat as the rest of the guys came over and introduced themselves. 

Jay’s phone went off signaling that he got a text,” Ladies it’s time to figure out who got your hearts racing the most. Out of all the guys.” Jay said as he looked at everyone, “ Layla the guy that got your heart racing the most was... Me.” Jay said as he looked over at Kay who just sat there waiting for him to continue on more than anything. 

“ Kat the guy that got your heart racing the most is... Trent?” Jay said as Kat’s eyes widened a little bit as Trent looked at Kat with a smile on his face. Jay shook his head a little bit before continuing on,” Alex the guy that got your heart racing is... Me?” He said with a laugh. 

Alex shrugged her shoulders,” Guess I have a thing for a man in uniform.” She said with a laugh. 

Jay smiled as he continued on,” Briana with no surprise here the man that got your heart racing the most is James.” Briana and James smiled at each other. “And lastly Callie the guy that got your heart racing the most is.. Adam.” Jay said with a look. 

Both Adam’s smiled until Jay followed up with a,” Page.” 

                                               Trent 

Nick’s phone went off a minute later as Adam shook his head at the end of the seat before he opened up his phone,” Guys it’s time to find out what girls got your hearts racing the most.” Nick said as he turned to look at everyone. 

‘Starting with OG Adam, the girl that got your heart racing the most is Layla.” Nick said. 

“Next up is me, the girl that got my heart racing the most is.. Callie.” Nick tried to act surprised but even Trent who was completely new figured that to be a lie he definitely wasn’t shocked about that at all. 

“Jay the girl that got your heart racing the most is... “ Trent looked over at Kat who had an unreadable expression on her face,” Alex?” Nick said with a confused look on his face. 

Trent watched as Jay whispered something into Kat’s ear as she gave him a small smile in return. 

“Trent?” Nick said as he finally looked back over at him before Nick continued on,” The girl that got your heart racing the most is no surprise here either but Kat.” Trent smiled a little not wanting to look over at Kat just yet. 

“And new Adam the girl that got your heart racing the most is.. Callie.” Nick said as he put his phone away.

As all of the islanders got up as whoever didn’t introduce themselves finally introduced themselves to everyone. Adam Page’s focus was on Callie as Adam was up in arms about who knows what as he got himself going off about anything and everything as the guys tried to step in. 

Trent noticed out of the corner of his eye that Kat left the area they were all in and quickly walked into the villa as Trent went to follow her before James stepped over to him,” So how do you feel about that? A lumberjack and a firefighter. “ 

“No, I’m screwed. Definitely screwed.” Trent said as he sighed. 

Next up on Who’s Got Your Love? - Will Callie finally find the one? What is Jay going to do if/when Kat finds out? Better yet what is Kat going to do? Is Alex going to see if there is something with Jay that caused both of their heart rates to go up? Is Trent going to pursue Kat despite knowing how she feels?