#phase 3: learning how to heal and live

[wonryllis]

𝜗𝜚 'OH' I LOVE LOVE HER?

╰ 𝖺𝗅𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗇𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗏𝖾𝗅𝗒, 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗒 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗒'𝗋𝖾 𝗂𝗇 𝗂𝗍 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗅𝗈𝗇𝗀 𝗋𝗎𝗇.

𝒏o𝓉ℯs. enhypen realizing it's you 𖥔 ݁ rom-fluff, kinda poetic? LIB? fem!reader requested word count ` 1945

꒰˵ˊᯅˋ˵꒱ love how this turned out!! <3. unedited!

𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆

he doesn't know much about love, he's never really experienced it yet. he has fallen for conventional and unconventional things, things that compliment and things that complete, he's been through the good phases and stuck through bad ones, he held on to things he shouldn't and let go of things he should.

there are a lot of lessons he has learned along every relationship he has been in the lines of yet lee heeseung doesn't believe he's ever been in love until he has been with you.

it wasn't something he knew he felt, but it was surely something he realized in the spur of a moment, in a split second of epiphany. he knew what he felt for you was something deep when he realized that yes he wouldn't hesitate to die for you, but what he wants is to live for you. it's easy to be the first to go but to hold your strength through everything and survive for someone, that is definitely love is what heeseung believes.

"baby, baby calm down i'm okay," he reassures your crying and frantic figure as you scan his injuries, ones he got from trying to protect you from a fatal fall. perhaps it was the situation or perhaps it was realisation of it all.

when he jumped to saved you all he could think about was he'd give his life if it meant you lived, but in this moment he cannot bear to see you so devastated, to think he could've left you like this? no, he's decided he is never going to do it until he can't help it and even then he'd fight to stay with his love.

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐉𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆

he has lived his life prioritizing his family over everything else. to him nothing can go above and beyond familial love. he doesn't really believe he can love anyone anything like he loves his family and that is a statement of disappointed in itself. if there's anything he wants to give his best for it's people who have stuck with him since day one.

bonds need to tested by time is the belief he holds dear until his world crashes into yours and time changes from something that defines to something that builds. his relationship with yours is not as long as people he's close to but however long you have spent together seems to strengthen and augment the bond.

his love for you settles into an understanding of his when finds you running through days and nights in the hospital caring for his family after a big blow. a choice to choose, not an obligation to carry out. a crack in his notions you give him a new definition of love.

"y/n? baby come on go and freshen up, i'll watch over mom," his hand rests on your head, soft caresses to wake you up after the long night you spent sitting beside his mother while he ran around for paperwork.

as you leave the room in a rush wanting to come back quickly and take his place so that he can get his rest, jay finds himself seeing you in a new light, telling his mother that he's found an angel. the angel she always told him about, the angel he loves.

𝐒𝐈𝐌 𝐉𝐀𝐄𝐘𝐔𝐍

he has spent years jumping from person to person, reveled and basked in moments of happiness and run away amidst the weights of problems. there is a price to pay for everything and love is no exception but he has yet to accept the fact of reality, the thorns that come along with the scent and beauty of roses.

love gives and love takes, love heals and love hurts. it takes several trials and a meeting with you for jake to understand that.

to him it is a conscious decision, a hard hit and an opening of eyes when he realizes you're the one for him. he has never made it work until you, coming to the conclusion in the middle of the worst argument that you're worth all the trouble. and if wants to have you by his side, he needs to fix this and he needs to cherish you.

he can see himself with you for the rest of his life, one single person he is willing to fight for. for jake sim you are a sphere of acceptance, you redefine love and endurance for him.

"one day we're gonna have kids together and i want them to see that daddy really loves mommy, i'll change for the better i promise," jake's voice softens as he hits the big realization, getting down on his knees, tears falling free. your arms slip around him in a hug and jake swears he'll do all it takes to become the one for you, he'll do all it takes to make this worth it, he'll do all it takes to have you stay. because he's found the one he loves, the one he wants to be his best for.

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐍

he has always felt a gaping hole in his chest, a feeling of homesickness even when he is home, a feeling of vanity even when he shines bright soaring through all the achievement of his dreams. to him there's something that's always missing.

no he has never thought of love but he has never despised it either. he doesn't dwell on the possibilities of it but the absence and lack of them. until you enter his life completing him like a perfect piece of puzzle, a missing piece of him.

he realizes his love for you in bits and moments of warmth, slowly step by step as you fill the void. from helping him through his hard times and cheering him on in his good ones, sunghoon finds his home in you, a walk so long but finally arriving at it's destiny, where it's always been meant to be.

perhaps he's always longed for love and never understood it. nevertheless, park sunghoon finds it in his moments of mundanity with you. you teach him the power of the presence of love.

"my little charmie, loved your pretty banner," sunghoon leaves a wet kiss on your lips, arms going around your waist as he comes rushing to you a second after winning the championship, cameras all panned on the champion of the season but all he can see is you. you feel like a warm hug on a rainy day, a blanket of comfort near the fireplace. all the anxiety he ever felt, the pressure to be on the top, you took it all and turned it into something beautiful and enjoyable.

𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐖𝐎𝐎

he has grown up surrounded and so bathed in love, he thinks he knows it all, he has seen it all. every version of love, and everything that exists in between. so confident he'd know it instantly, the one for him, the love of his life.

but love takes time and love find it's loopholes. someone that evokes no romantic feelings could become everything in just a turn of events. kim sunoo never believed or cared to understand that until he felt that something for you. that little upturn of sparkles and butterflies, that intense emotion kindling in his heart when he sees you in a new ambience. a single moment of revelation when he's staring at you talk about things that you love, things that he doesn't like but suddenly he doesn't mind hearing about it.

he knows he hasn't felt this way before for you, there's something different and that difference makes him rethink his entire relationship with you. you become so important to him in a split moment, love so familiar and calm yet unfamiliar and exciting.

"go on i'm listening," sunoo has his head on his hands, eyes shaped crescents, a gaze so loving anyone can see how he feels, so transparent.

the tiny flowers behind you would look so pretty on you, no- you look so much prettier than the flowers, your voice is so pretty, the way your lips move, the way your eyes light up, has sunoo always loved hearing about legos? no. has he always loved listening to you? he doesn't know but he could hear you talk forever.

𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐖𝐎𝐍

he is one who sees love in everything around. the little things and the big things. in the light and in the dark. in memories of the past and in possibilities of the future. there is not a specific instance where he realizes his feelings. to him you are the premonition of love. he knew it from the very moment he met you that you are the one he is going fall in love with. that inner instinct that instantly sparked up when you entered his life.

every day and every second it grows, it piles up, it escalates. the weight of life and the wings of love you make everything easier. one who has always given meeting one who gives back to him.

overwhelmed in an ocean of new eternal verities, a feeling so mad, blind and passionate he finds himself wanting to be bound to you by his every bone. if there's a forever then he wants to spend it with you taking walks by the river, watching the lantern festival with a smile on your faces, so sick in love it makes everyone else sick.

"i wish this wish comes true," jungwon whispers to himself as he watches you walk ahead of him, turning back time and again to tell him how far your lit lantern made with a pretty little smile on your face. he wants to see this everyday, every morning, every night till however long he can and if possible even in his afterlife and all the lives that come ahead.

to be the one to be chosen by you because he for one will always choose you in all forms of reality and at every chance,"baby wait up for me, let's go together!" hand in hand all along.

𝐍𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐔𝐑𝐀 𝐑𝐈𝐊𝐈

he has always found himself struggling to express his emotions, words and actions alike. something so inherent in him, he can't seem to overcome it. the sheer desperation to get his feelings through to someone, he's never felt it. he hasn't ever felt the need to feel it. to connect so closely with another is not something he has ever been comfortable with or wanted to be comfortable with.

until you happened and riki's world went through a turmoil of sentiments, wrecking him from inside so intensely he could never go back to before. love is something he has never experienced and something he could never fathom.

it just never made sense to him, how one could feel so much solely for another. but in moments of his silence where you struggled to understand it all, he realized the importance, the willingness to learn to express his feelings.

your tears and your smiles he wanted to be the one to comfort and the one you showed your happiness to. the one you love and the one he loves.

"i've never said this before but you are so special to me, what i feel for you is something i've never felt for anyone else and i don't wanna lose you by not letting you know that. i'm wanna learn to show you that again and again,"

riki smiles through his tears letting himself be vulnerable before you, as you hold the little handmade gift he got. your own tears threatening to fall while you nod vigorously reaching forward to let him know it'll all be okay.

TAGLIST ( open. ) @kangseulgithegreat @s00buwu @luvyev @pockyyasii @nctislifue @ashtxrie @miniature-tragedy @jayujus @nanabbg @thoughtsmeander2tumblingblindly

[obsidian-pages777]

Pick a Card: Your upcoming revenge arc [jennifer's body theme]

Left to Right= Pile 1->Pile 3

Introduction

This is a sweet reading on how you will have your- come up- in your future life journey. Enjoy!

Pile 1

Past: Three of Pentacles

This card suggests a period of collaboration and hard work. You've been dedicated to your craft, honing your skills, and working well with others to achieve a common goal. You might have had challenges with regards to career developments. Maybe it is something out of your control that caused this. You have been undermined regarding your skills because of this.

Present: Knight of Pentacles

Currently, you're in a phase of steady progress. The Knight of Pentacles represents diligence, responsibility, and persistence. You're putting in the necessary effort and staying focused on your long-term goals.

Future: The World

This card signifies completion, achievement, and fulfillment. Your efforts in career development will pay off, leading to a sense of accomplishment and the opening of new opportunities. You will feel a sense of a massive boost to your self esteem when you achieve success in this one career goal or project that you are working on. You will receive a public accolade in terms of career and you will feel confident in yourself and your skills.

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Pile 2

Past: Ten of Swords

This card indicates a painful ending, likely a betrayal or significant emotional hurt. It represents the culmination of a difficult period, leaving you feeling wounded but also marking the end of this chapter. A specific person or people might have caused you a lot of pain and you might have felt betrayed and disrespected.

Present: The Star

In the present, The Star brings hope, healing, and renewal. You're finding inspiration and regaining your sense of self. This card suggests a time of recovery and the beginning of new possibilities. You have created a new sense of self and managed to continue to create a beautiful environment for yourself. You are magnetizing good luck right now.

Future: The World

The World represents new beginnings and adventures and the closing of a past cycle. Moving on from your past relationship will open you up to fresh experiences and opportunities. Embrace the journey ahead with a sense of optimism and curiosity. Since you are creating an end of an era in terms of your previous relationships and life, you are opening yourself up to new a timeline. This new space created for yourself is a whole 180 turn in comparison to how you were living before. Get ready!

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Pile 3

Past: Five of Swords

This card represents conflict and discord. You may have experienced misunderstandings or felt undermined by those close to you, leading to tension and isolation. Discord in terms of family and friends might have caused you a lot of turmoil.

Present: Two of Cups

The Two of Cups signifies harmony, partnership, and mutual understanding. You're currently in a phase of reconciliation, rebuilding trust, and strengthening your relationships with family and friends. You are learning to build relationships up while taking accountability for how you behave. You might be trying to allow people in your life to understand you better. It might not be easy currently.

Future: Ten of Cups

This card is the epitome of emotional fulfillment and harmony in relationships. Your efforts to connect deeper with loved ones will result in lasting happiness and a renewed sense of community and support. Despite things not being easy to get to that state, you would still get there as you would be making calculated communicative efforts. You will rebuild yourself and the life around you to a better level. You will receive a sense of appreciation from those around you. Your actions will be filled with purpose as well.

[tinselxoxo26]

𝓐𝓼𝓽𝓻𝓸 𝓞𝓫𝓼𝓮𝓻𝓿𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼 𝓥𝓘𝓘 ○◦˚.

[Note: Hello my lovelies 💕 I'm not present as this is one of my scheduled post from my 1 year hiatus. This post is about tropical astrology. Happy reading!]

Part 6

◌ 𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐬 born between 𝟐𝟒 𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝟏𝟖 𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝟐𝟎𝟎𝟔 have a nice handwriting or voice due to having 𝐕𝐞𝐧𝐮𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐆𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢

◌ 𝐒𝐮𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟏𝟎𝐇 tends to aim being an "𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫". Art department? ✓ Music department? ✓ Academic department? ✓ Sports department? ✓ From my experience being with them they're most likely pick a department & try to hone their skills to perfection.

(For example: Art department. Learns how to master watercolour, charcoal drawings, acrylics, oil paintings etc.)

◌ 𝐕𝐞𝐧𝐮𝐬 - 𝐍𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐮𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐬 🤝 hopeless romatics

◌ 𝐕𝐞𝐧𝐮𝐬 - 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐚𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐬🤝 realists

◌ 𝐓𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐮𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐧 with a 𝐥𝐞𝐨 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧 might get compliments from being mature/responsible or being a good parent one day. They're the type of people that takes care of others especially their loved ones like cooking/cleaning up for them.

◌ I've noticed that 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐬 (𝐓𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐮𝐬, 𝐕𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐨, 𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧) in the chart especially in the 𝐛𝐢𝐠 𝟑 (𝐒𝐮𝐧, 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧, 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠) usually don't post/share anything on their social media like Instagram. If you see them post it's like once in a blue moon. They're usually reserved in their private lives.

(Unless they have a lot of fire & air signs in the chart)

◌ I've also noticed that 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐬 in the 𝐛𝐢𝐠 𝟑 might go through phases like deleting social media, distancing themselves from social media etc.

◌ 𝐀𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐢𝐝 𝐆𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐯𝐚 (𝟑𝟎𝟏𝟖) 𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝟏𝟐𝐇 could indicate that the Godiva person glances at the 12H person while they're not focused, not aware, hidden/subtle glances.

◌ If you're interested in 𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐭/𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐲/𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐲 check for 𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧 (𝟐𝟓𝟗𝟖) in your chart. I've noticed that ppl who are interested in tarot tends to have Merlin in the 3H & 6H or Merlin aspected to AC/MC or personal planets especially Sun & Moon.

◌ Check for 𝐌𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞 (𝟓𝟔) in your natal chart if you have 𝐚𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲/𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐜 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬/𝐚𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬.

(You have it prominent when it's conjuncting personal planets/ASC/DC/MC/IC.)

𝒪𝒷𝓈𝑒𝓇𝓋𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃𝓈

Melete in Leo tends to have anxiety in their younger years/childhood/kindergarten/primary. Melete conjunct ascendant could mean that other people could see that the native have anxiety. Melete conjunct/square MC could mean that their anxiety triggers in public spaces. Melete conjunct/square Mercury could indicate that the native have anxiety in speaking. They tend to overthink every single wording that they choose & due to that they could take a long time to text. Melete conjunct mars could indicate that the native tends to have anxiety around men.

◌ Look for 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞 (𝟑𝟕𝟒𝟐) in your natal chart, it shows how to 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬/𝐚𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲

𝒪𝒷𝓈𝑒𝓇𝓋𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃𝓈

Sunshine in 5H is through healing your inner child by watching kids shows/movies. Sunshine in sagittarius is through travelling learning about astrology/tarot. Sunshine - Neptune aspects especially conjunction means that the native uses meditation to heal or uses fantasy as an escapism to 'heal' like reading novels/fiction/fanfiction etc.

[I do not own any of these pics]

Thank you for reading this far <3 Make sure to stay tune for my next posts!!

~ 𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑥𝑜𝑥𝑜26 🌸✨ ll masterlist

all rights reserved © tinselxoxo26

[astrolovecosmos]

I’m trying to get into astrology and I have no idea where to being and it’s hard to find good information

do you have like a beginners guide or just a small spiel of where to start? thank you :)

A beginner's guide is a really good idea, maybe I'll create one some day. As to where to start I suggest getting to know what many in the community now call your "big 3" which is your Sun Sign, Moon Sign, and Rising/Ascendant. Your Sun Sign is your "zodiac sign", the sign most people are familiar with in astrology. This is the sign based on the month you were born, for example if you were born between June 21 through July 22 then your Zodiac Sign or Sun Sign is Cancer. Your Sun Sign is your individuality, ego, some describe it as your life force, your vitality, it is the self, sort of like a base personality in which all other placements are integrated through. Many who first are learning about astrology I've noticed almost go through a "moon sign" phase. It is one of the planets or subjects outside of your zodiac sign many first learn about. The Moon Sign is your inner, emotional self. It is how you react to things emotionally, process emotions, it is your intuition, your nurturing side, your emotional needs, and it also has a connection to motherhood/parenthood. I sometimes describe the Moon Sign as almost a second zodiac sign because of how important our emotional selves are to who we are and how we live our life. The Moon changes zodiac signs every 2-3 days, so you will need to know the day, month, and year of your birth to determine what your Moon Sign is. Your Rising/Ascendant is another placement many first learn about when diving into astrology. The Rising, also called Ascendant, is a point in space, technically an angle in your natal chart. This determines how you come off to others, your raw self-expression, your impression or you could look at it as your "vibe", it describes your approach to the world, and it is also linked to interests and some believe physical appearance. To find your rising you will need to know your day, month, year, time of birth, and location of birth. After learning more about the Sun, Moon, and Rising, I would then suggest to learn about zodiac sign's elements and qualities so you can have a basic idea of how each sign can function in different areas of a chart/placement. Elements and qualities are also the basis of compatibility. Fire Signs are generalized by traits of passion, openness, individuality, independence, a temper, generosity as well as selfishness, and confidence. (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) Earth Signs are generalized by traits of dependability, loyalty, practicality, being grounded, patient, being a hard worker, and logical. (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) Air Signs are generalized by traits of sociability, intellect and/or a love of learning, objectivity, has social intuition or intelligence, fair, respectful, detachment, an open mind, but also arguing, debating, and being opinionated. (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius) Water Signs are generalized by traits of sensitivity, intuitive, depth, gentle, calmness, healing talents, emotional intelligence, understanding, empathy, kindness, and attachment. (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces) The qualities are a classification of how a sign's energy might flow or be expressed. There is one sign in each element for every quality. The qualities are Cardinal, Fixed, and Mutable. Cardinal Signs are about taking action, leading, initiation, change, and assertion. (Aries, Cancer. Libra, Capricorn) Fixed Signs are about sustaining, managing, consistency, stability, and stubbornness. (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius) Mutable Signs are about flexibility, endings and beginnings, versatility, instability, and unpredictability. (Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces)

I wrote a Part 2 Here.

[astral-wings]

Welcome to my blog!!

Hi! You may call me Atlas! I'm 18 and use he/they pronouns :3

(art very generously gifted to me by ToasterTeostra)

Here, you will find my dragonkin and witchcraft ramblings, as well as a TON of reposts and some art! I wanted to find a cool space online to share my alterhuman experiences without prejudice, and I figured tumblr would be a good place! I'm very new here, so please keep that in mind!

Wanna learn more about me? Keep reading :D!!

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My alterhuman experience

(art by me)

That adorable starry dragon right there is none other than me! I've identified as a dragon since early this year, however I've had dragon shifts for as long as I could remember. I like to describe myself as a Celestial Star dragon since I'm so gravitated towards stars and celestial bodies. I also have a minor affinity to water!

I don't experience species dysphoria that often. Dragons were my very first special interest, I've been obsessed with them ever since I was little. I'm almost always partially shifted to some capacity (the term for this is co-therian!), but often times when I'm comfortable or emotional, I would fully shift, completely altering my awareness and psych to that of a dragon. I've experienced these shifts my entire life. It's only up until several months ago that I've realized and came to terms with it. Very few people know I'm dragonkin, I mostly keep it to myself for my own safety and out of fear of discrimination.

Why am I dragonkin? I have no fucking clue ngl. I don't have a past life (that I know of). It's likely a trait that came along with my autism and ADHD

(I also drew this)

Here's me in my "half dragon" form, pretty much me partially shifted. I experience phantom limbs on a regular basis, so much so that I forget they're there. If I focus hard enough, I can feel them

I'm still learning more about my dragon self!✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

My gender identity and sexuality

I've been out as trans ever since I was 13-14. I went through many labels and phases until I finally found the term that perfectly describes my gender, genderfaun!

Genderfaun is a fluid gender that never encompasses female or feminine genders. I've experienced male, demiboy, non binary (in the sense that I have a gender it's just not a boy or girl), and agender, as well as multiple of them at the same time

But never have I felt feminine. Wardrobe wise, yes to an extent, like femboy but without the skirt or dresses

But internally I've never been female or feminine in any shape or form. But I've been everything else!

I'm also pansexual/bisexual and currently taken in a relationship (I use both labels)

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Witchcraft and my spiritual views

I was raised Lutheran but a few years ago I deviated from Christianity and experimented with witchcraft. I was Wiccan for a short bit before deciding that my views and theirs aren't completely aligned. I eventually just did my own thing, but my parents (still living with them) are completely against witchcraft as a whole and forced me back to Christianity. I tried, but I just can't, especially as a neurodivergent queer person who sees things differently. I felt so happy with my own path, and I long for that once again. However I love God, so there's a big conflict. I struggled with my faith and what it meant to be a Christian. Last year, I discovered that Christian witches are indeed a thing, and I was very happy to discover it. However, due to personal life and burnout, I've fallen out of it.

I'm currently trying to get back on my path again, now with a totally new view since I discovered I was dragonkin. I don't know how that's going to work out with God and witchcraft but that's why I'm trying to learn from other people and seek what's right for me, as well as hopefully heal from the religious guilt I've been carrying all these years

I've been slowly working myself back into spellwork and talking to God about these things. I'm interested in learning draconic magic, astrology, and crystal work, as well as divination.

I do not force my beliefs upon others, let me make that very clear. I am the complete opposite!! That's not what Jesus wanted and is completely against his word. I do not judge others spiritual paths unless it actually harms themselves or others. I am extremely open minded! Satanists, atheists, and everybody else is WELCOME!!

I have a very hard time calling myself "Christian". I'm more so a witch who follows God within my own path and what's best for me.

God doesn't hate anyone for being themselves. Don't let the fear people inflict upon you eat you away <3

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

That's it for now!! If you've read this far, here's a cookie! 🍪

#astral dragon ramblings is my tag! Drink some water and don't forget to eat! :3

[acontrariis]

chapter 3. the dragonpit.

pairing. Aemond Targaryen x OC word count. 3.1k warnings. some harsh language, killing threats. violence, a broken arm or two.

⋆ prev. chapter

Grief brings out the worst in people, the fissures in an already fragile foundation grow with each cry.

Castle Driftmark had turned into a silent residence, the chipped away pieces from the now lost children left an emptiness in Rhaenys she feared would never recover. Pain and loss was not something unknown to her, in all her years they just made her stronger, a thicker skin born from the scars of her past. An armor and sometimes a curse that kept her going, after all this time. 

As a thin veil fell on the residents, a fake calm reigned in their lives. The unforgiving time continued as it had before, the seasons changed again and again. 

Some grew old, and some just grew. 

Impatient, tired.

One could wonder how such a young soul felt so exhausted. 

Through the years, Vienna went from an inconvenient eyesore, to the reminder of the lives that were lost. 

A portrait of what could’ve been. 

For her, the disdain from the people that called themselves her family had left a scar at a very young age that was too late to try and heal now. It would be a lie to say she stopped caring, but as the pain numbed, so did her anger. 

So she grew, and she learned. 

She worked hard, after all, learning everything you can about your adversary was 80% of the fight, and she planned on taking back what was hers.

Her trained memory helped when it came time to memorize. An old language only few spoke, the rules and traditions, the secrets, the scripts and maps. 

The secret passageways called for her like a siren song leading to a new world. A world where she could dance under the moonlight, the sand sipping through her toes as she became someone else, someone closer to her true self. 

The escapades had made her more adventurous, fearless in her search for a rebellious phase she was never allowed to have. 

Even the most resilient oak will give after years to the relentless drop. A crack can break the strongest foundations, with the right push, that is. 

A warm summer night would be the first witness of the young dragon’s cry.

Let's set the scene.

A young woman sneaks back into the old fortress she resides in. The tall walls carry a marvelous echo that was, no doubt, taken into account by the original artisans behind their creation. The woman in question was a gifted soul that could hear the voices of the dead. Something that haunted and, on occasions, saved her.  This night in particular, they seemed quieter than usual. Whispers could barely be heard over the sound of her heels hitting the ground. 

Experience had taught her to differentiate between the voices and others. That’s why her steps halted when hearing the murmurs echoing through the passage. 

- “... It’s a waste, that’s what it is.”

The response was too low to be heard, and as the curious ( a bit noisy ) soul she was, she made her way towards the sound to get a better hear of the conversation. 

- “Can they even afford to get rid of the dragon? The division among the main family is no secret, can they spear one dragon?” 

Corlys.

- “It’s not as if they can use it. She won’t let any rider get close. They’ve lost count of how many men have died trying to tame it…”

Vienna’s heart stopped, a ringing in her ears covered the muffled voices as a heavy sat on top of her stomach. They couldn’t possibly be talking about her . After all this time, everything they’ve been through, they couldn’t kill her before she had a chance to get her back. She had to save her, she had to do something.

Her mind started going a million miles per second, she knew there was no time to panic, if news had already reached Driftmark, there would be no time left until it was too late. Still, her heart ached and fear closed her throat as her eyes filled with tears.

Think!

Think!

Do something!

Vienna, breathe!

A long inhale filled her lungs, as she found herself on her hands and knees. 

That’s it.

⸺

Sneaking out of a castle without being seen is an easy feat when people prefer not to see you. The right outfit and enough coins will take you anywhere you need. That’s how the rogue Princess made her way into the heart of Westeros that early morning. 

A fateful encounter brewing under the first rays of light. 

That day had started like any other for the young Princes. In the reversed roles they grew into, the Youngest had early mornings of training and studying: the Eldest had late nights filled with debauchery and even later afternoons in between. Unless specifically called, their routines stayed the same. 

This day, Aegon felt particularly tired of his set routine. He’d grown used to the excesses and now found them quite mild. He knew someone, however, that was not used to it. And what a great pleasure he would find in annoying his little brother. 

Flea Bottom , he thought, would be the perfect place for him to drag the stoic young man. Not quite an easy feat, but one he was proud of pulling off.

A few hours had passed since Vienna’s arrival. Her mind colder as the rocking of the boat calmed the storm in her head. She knew this was truly it. Stealing a dragon, even if originally hers, would not be seen as a cute little prank. 

This was treason. 

There were people in the Capital who already wanted her head on a spike, and this would give them the perfect excuse. The Velaryons wouldn’t stand for her, if anything, they would probably be the first to throw her to the wolves. 

She knew all of this, she pondered over every option and possibility and yet she had come to the same conclusion. It still made no sense for them to want to kill Zyros now, but that was a chance she couldn’t afford to take. She much preferred to put on a fight than let her dragon die alone. 

Sneaking through the city was an easy feat, although a bit overwhelming, but she found no one truly paid her much mind. 

She had been outside of the Dragonpit for a few hours now. Two men guarded the main entrance. The security was less than impressive, but then again, only an idiot would try to steal a dragon. Blending in with the crowd was her way of staying hidden until night time.

A bony hand squeezing her shoulder proved to be an obstacle to that intention. 

Aegon was doing everything to stop Aemond from going back to the castle, it was proving impossible to drag him to a whore house, so he was desperately looking for something right there on the street to catch his attention. That’s when he saw her. Her face and body were covered, disguising what he was certain were womanly curves. The dark tones of her robes almost made her mix with the crowd, but the tension of her posture and the delicate hands showed she was not familiar with that establishment. 

This should be fun.

As Aemond’s protests faded in the background, Aegon approached the sitting figure, whistling under his breath. A sardonic smile and a cheesy line, “What do we have here?” were met with a pair of bright purple orbs. 

To say he was taken aback was an understatement. He hated history lessons, but even he knew those eyes were unusual. As quick as he saw them, the glow had disappeared, a pair of black hollows taking their place. 

Vienna looked at the hand on his shoulder and back to the man attached to it. She knew who he was. Although dirty and oily, the characteristic white hair gave away his identity. 

The look of disgust was something she could probably be able to hide better under other circumstances, but today was not one of those days. She looked truly royal, her back straight and the despective look she was giving him, as if he was a mere bug on the ground. 

This brief interaction was not missed by Aemond, who stood a few steps away from his brother. This didn’t look like his usual encounters, and even he could tell that the woman was not a prostitute. Not that it mattered much. A tired sigh left him as he urged Aegon to hurry along, people were beginning to stare and he did not wish for a scandal to get back to the castle. 

Nevertheless, the eldest Prince was stubborn. He was used to the looks of disgust, his family had never been one to hide their judging looks, but from a mere peasant? That was more than his pride could take. 

Aegon threw 2 coins at her, intentionally hitting the side of her face. 

- “I think that should cover your services. Hurry along now.”

Vienna could feel her blood boiling. She looked up at the heavens for some wisdom, someone to tell her not to do the stupid thing she really wanted to do. 

Kill him. Breathe. Slash his throat. Calm down.  

Without uttering a word, she stood from her seat. 

Just walk past him, keep walking, ignore him.  

Everything happened in a matter of seconds. As Aegon reached for her arm once again, she caught his hand and twisted it until the bones cracked…

… and then hell broke loose. 

Run.

There were no guards around, all previously instructed by Aegon to “not ruin the mood”, but the shriek of pain was so loud, Aemond was sure it had reached the throne room. 

Next thing he knew, his brother was on the floor, cradling his arm against his chest as the cause of his pain ran away.

⸺

Hours later, Aemond still had yet to return to the Red Keep. Aegon had left long ago, gone somewhere to tend to his broken hand… and ego. Going back would mean to explain his absence, and he was still looking for the perpetrator that attacked his defenseless brother. 

Pfft, right.

He tried to find her, he truly did. He couldn’t stand his brother, but even if he most definitely deserved it, that was still his family. He had a duty and image he couldn’t afford to have questioned. Even if he had to swallow the laugh fighting to come out. 

So he ran after her, and he searched every crook and cranny he could think of. Not only did no one know who she was, he didn’t think they would actually tell him even if they did. His brother’s reputation was notorious and to say he was not a lovable royal, would be an understatement. 

Still, he did his best. Although an uneasy feeling sat in his chest. 

The night air crackled with electricity as Venus cradled the moon lighting his path. 

Vienna was on edge, not only was she almost discovered, she also went and caused a scene in the middle of the most crowded street in King’s Landing. The beating of her heart ticked as a clock reminding her time was of the essence. Then finally, during a shift change, with only the moon as her witness, she sneaked inside the Dragonpit.

… Or so she thought. 

It was a mere coincidence, he was stalling and felt the most at ease close to the creatures. So he stayed around and that’s when he finally saw her. If she was not a prostitute, then was she an informant? A thief would not enter that place knowing they would most likely not come out. Mainly out of curiosity, he followed the dark figure inside. Her robes flowing in the air as a familiar scent stopped him in his tracks. 

He couldn’t place it, but as his mind fogged with the memories, the uneasiness in his chest grew. 

Vienna would beat herself later for her slip, she credited it to the lack of sleep and the stress, but as she continued following the cries of her dragon, she couldn’t see or hear anything else. The closer she got, the louder they became and she was entranced, walking down the familiar, and yet unknown, path.

As they dove deeper into the caved structure, Aemond hesitated for a second. He knew what was back there, and not even him, who tried long before to get a dragon by many means, dared to go. After almost being burnt to death, and seeing many more be eaten alive, he decided to stay as far away as possible from the untamed beast. 

He almost stopped her, he could interrogate her and get the information he needed, but something stopped him. Maybe it was his own curiosity, maybe the fact she seemed to be enchanted, not even flinching at the growls from the dragons she passed on her way down. 

Aemond tensed up as they reached the cage, ready to pull her back at any moment. The drops of sweat fell down his forehead to meet the dryness of his lips.

The large beast resided in the farthest cage in the pit. The tall iron gates guarded the dragon, its amethyst scales shining under the soft candlelight. It felt their presence, and it was not happy, as usual. The chilling growl reverberated through their bodies. Aemond held his breath, trying to stay as quiet as possible as to not further upset it. Just as he was about to pull her back and ask her what she meant to do, the woman pulled off the robes covering her face and carefully raised her hand to the dragon. 

- “Shh, lykirī, Zyros.” Calm.

He couldn’t believe it,  it took him an entire minute to remove the dumbfounded expression from his face. She was actually talking to the dragon, and the once murderous beast, now calmly approached her: its snout touching the extended hand. 

Zyros’ hot breath was the remnant of her initial threat. A few tears left Vienna and as the dragon growled under her breath, she giggled with happiness. She drew her face close to Zyros, barely holding her snout as they touched. 

- “It’s me. I got you. Now let’s try to not get killed getting out of here.” 

How hard could it be? She had seen it a million times. She memorized every step to appeasing the dragon, securing the seat, setting the ladder, one foot in front of the other, over and sitting. 

Breathe . 

It was fine, she could do it, she had done it in her mind many times before. 

She…

She was fucked. 

Completely and utterly fucked. 

She was not one for spiraling, especially not when she was in a foreign place and the escape route was exactly the same one as the entrance. But, as mentioned before, this was new. Her young mind and vivid imagination couldn’t have prepared her for what actually goes into it. This was work done by multiple people at once, multiple very experienced people. 

Vienna could feel her breathing getting louder as a heavyweight sat on her ribs. She couldn’t panic. If she panicked, Zyros would panic, and if Zyros panicked, chaos would ensue.

There’s no time. 

- “Would you like a hand?”

The question came out before he could stop himself. What on earth was he doing? He couldn’t help her, she was a thief, he couldn’t let her just walk out of here with a dragon … He knew all of that, and yet, it felt right . 

The bond between a dragon and its rider is a complicated science no one has completely deciphered. Some think their souls had been bound by blood magic since the moment of their birth. He, particularly, didn’t believe in that, as he grew up without a dragon most of his life. The one certain thing, in this case at least, was that whoever this girl was, she was connected to this dragon, Zyros , and that was something he couldn’t bring himself to ignore. 

Vienna’s breath stopped. This couldn’t be happening. She made sure she was alone. Closing her eyes, she slowly turned around before opening them. Behind her, Zyros growled slowly a warning, her head still bowed and closed to Vienna. And for a minute there, time stopped as the lovers lost in each other's eyes. 

The spell had long been broken, so now Aemond could fully see the purple orbs that adorned her face and brought back foggy memories of a forgotten past.

Vienna took a second to take him in. He had grown, the sharp features of his face long left behind the little kid hiding from his family. His tall figure towered over her, and he raised his hands in peaceful surrender. 

Carefully, without making a sound, Aemond gathered the things necessary. Zyros had never had a rider, so a saddle was never given to her. 

- “May I?” 

A slow nod was the only response he got, the woman too shocked to even speak out loud. Making sure Zyros wouldn’t attack him, he began prepping her. They worked as a pair, Vienna was familiar with the process, so assisting Aemond wasn’t hard. Although she appreciated the help, she struggled with simply accepting it. He had no reason for helping her. 

You had no reason when you helped him.

True, then again…

- “Why are you helping me?”

He shrugged his shoulders before making sure the locks were properly set, and turning to look at her, hoping she could see his sincerity.

- “She’s yours, isn’t she? That’s good enough for me, and no one will miss her here.”

- “Even still, I’m pretty sure people will notice a flying dragon in the middle of the night. It will be a miracle if they don’t send someone to shoot me down.”

- “Let me worry about that. Okay, all done. Ready?”

Vienna nodded in response. A part of her was terrified, and she would be an idiot if she denied it. Mounting the dragon was a work in itself, as Zyros was by no means small and Vienna wasn’t exactly very tall. Not only was this the first time she would ride a dragon, the one she would ride was none other than one that has never been ridden before. If the guards didn’t kill her, the ride might. 

- “ Dohaerās, Zyros.” Obey. 

It took some effort, but once she was finally seated, Vienna let out the breath she had been holding. Her heart felt like it was about to burst, it was a euphoric feeling. Her joyful laugh echoed through the walls as she held onto the reins. 

Her happiness was contagious and Aemond couldn’t help the smile creeping on his face. 

- “Now, wait for the signal and then come out. Okay?”

She paused for a minute, their eyes meeting. She had no reason to trust him, and he had no reason to help her, and yet that wouldn’t stop either of them from doing exactly that.

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[cometchasinglove]

Ask and ye shall receive!

Polaris is Starscream's sparkling in my TF: Aftermath Lost Light campaign.

He's basically an excuse to show what how I believe sparklings grow and develop, as well as introducing Seeker culture to my players (cause I love all my little headcanons for that)

The way I imagine seeker sparklings develop is similar to birds, where they go through a "fledgling" phase before they develop all their colors and armor.

They start off small, like, fit in the palm of Starscream's hand small. Hold them gently like a burger. They gradually grow, being born with 9-ish? main armor plates that grow soon after birth. These plates develop into intricate armor and even their wings as they grow.

In my campaign, it takes 1000 years for a cybertronian to mature, Polaris is 100, so he's only about a 1 year old.

And Starscream would *kill* for his baby.

He's the most protective parent. He had to pop the poor thing out alone, by himself, stranded on Earth with no clue where the Sire or his friends where (they thought he was dead due to past campaign stuff) and learned to grow some self-confidence to care for his bitlet.

His parenting style is protective but also kind of "fuck around and find out"

he let's his baby explore, and get hurt at their own curiosity, but not too much. But if there's somebody who he knows might hurt his sparkling? He'll death-glare you till the sun explodes and if you come close and try to do anything with his baby he'd rip you limb from limb without a second thought.

He's very protective over who he lets hold his baby. At the start when my group finds him, he'll only trust my NPC Atlas (an OC who's known Starscream for a while) and the sire, Megatron.

Megs in this universe is not abusive to Starscream, but was in the past (cause of his Unicron Lean addiction) and Starscream is healing from that trauma, so their relationship is strained but he's healing not just for himself but his sparkling now too.

It's a very self-indulgent side-plot for my players. But I'm a self-indulgent fuck and Starscream literally is just me soooo

Yeah that's Polaris!

Once Starscream trusts the Lost Light with his bitlet, almost everyone will be taking turns babysitting, playing and coddling the little thing. Polaris will have no shortage of love, protection, affection and care with the crew and his momma who loves him more than life itself <3

Aw, Polaris is the perfect candidate if you wanna show off your seeker sparkling HCs! How cute!

"Hold them gently like a burger." I'm plagued with the thought of Starscream holding his little bab so gently! HELP!

YES! PROTECTIVE DADSCREAM IS WHAT I LIVE FOR! I EAT THAT SHIT FOR BREAKFAST, LUNCH, AND DINNER!

Atlas sounds like a pretty cool OC, too! I'm not a fan of MegaStar, but your take sounds interesting!

Aw, and little Polaris aboard the Lost Light is just what the crew needs, a bouncing bitlet of joy!

Thank you for sharing your lore with me! It's so awesome! What you have going on is very intriguing, and I would always love to hear more from you about it! So, don't be shy to reach out!

[illwynd]

What direction would you have enjoyed most for Thor and Loki after TDW?

I recall in the long dry years between TDW and TR, a large part of the conversation in the fandom around this topic was on how pissed off Thor would be when he learned that Loki hadn’t actually died and had kept that fact from him (or “faked his death,” however you wanna phrase it) and how much trust would have to be rebuilt. And there is definitely that aspect of it. I think there was trust that needed to be rebuilt on both sides, in fact, and many long-overdue conversations about everything that had gone wrong to get them to that point. Conversations about Loki’s ancestry and his miscalculation with the Destroyer and all the questions Thor didn’t ask when Loki reappeared and not visiting him in the cells and ancient resentments and so many other things. 

But most of the fandom, in the discussions I’ve seen, seems to have been hoping for resolution between them, for things to get all healed and tied up in a tidy little bow and have their character arcs just ride off into the sunset and… yeah, I don’t want that. I never wanted that. There is way too much emphasis these days on “healthy” and “wholesome” and, goddamn, like what are y’all doing looking at these two if you’re looking for therapist-approved wellbeing? You’re digging in the wrong place. (Something that I feel is carried over from Norse mythology into their characters is the idea that there is value and importance in lives that don’t have a Happily Ever After, worlds ending in destruction and final defeat but with a deep integrity to what mattered. The world doesn’t promise healing. Sometimes, living with the knowledge that things will not be fixed in the end but it all matters anyway, and the connections between people matter, and the ability to find flickering moments of joy amidst the sorrows… to me that is far better, far more fitting to who they are than any tidy, happy resolution could ever be.)

One of the things that I love about many of their comics arcs is the sense that while things do change between them over time, with different emphases coming into focus and into prominence, there is an essence to both of them that keeps them in perpetual conflict and ALSO keeps the love strong enough that neither of them ever wants to go their separate ways permanently. They both have their own lives, with Thor doing his best at heroing and Loki doing his best at being himself, but Their Relationship is a constant, and it’s nobody else’s business, and whether they’re on opposite sides in their daily lives doesn’t really factor into it. 

So basically, in my ideal world in which phase 3+ didn’t suck, TR would have involved some of those long-overdue conversations and some working together against a bigger bad, but the kiss-and-make-up would have been incomplete, like an unresolved chord at the end of a phrase of music. Loki would have disappeared again but this time making sure Thor knew he wasn’t dead, and he’d have popped up again from time to time, always with uncertain allegiances, to have a few poignant interactions with Thor, or to absolutely destroy some big bad that’s threatening Thor’s life but in the meantime doing something that makes it seem like he got some material gain out of doing so (just to keep everyone on their toes), and if anyone questions this in Thor’s presence you’d get a very stormy look and a subtle suggestion that he doesn’t have to be slumming it on Earth. 

Loki would be there to be The Most Important Person in Thor’s life even when he’s not physically present, and the niggling itch that never quite goes away from the fact that things aren’t resolved and may be unresolvable. (Having a relationship like that—where it is possible or likely that things can’t be fixed—is actually really important to telling Thor stories that have emotional weight. Resolving the relationship or making the question null through death cuts off so many of the important questions that cling to Thor in themes and resonances. To a character who embodies the virtue of striving for heroism and goodness, an unquenchable love for such a liminal character as Loki, whose moral standing flits all across the field at any given moment, and having Thor see that not as a problem, as a liability or an inconsistency but instead as a value in itself—that keeps Thor from becoming an insufferable, inflexible moral pedant.) And Thor—Loki’s love and devotion to Thor, mingled with his resentment of him and the lingering frayed edges of his trust and the centuries-old anger and desire to win against him just once—would be there to rest like a base color underpainted beneath everything Loki does in his schemes and clever workings and, a gnarled anchor or a rusted root, keep him from wandering too far afield.

And, I mean, they’re gods. If you carry any story on long enough it ends in death, but in a story of superheroes and modern legends, the gods should still be there in the end, at the edge of the tale, perhaps, but continuing nonetheless, spinning against the stars, the huge half-invisible shadows of giants bordering the far horizon, the cycles of their lives so much longer than ours.

[guardian5tiger3]

Tarot Reading - Pick a Picture .

General/whatever comes out.

1 2

3 4

Pile 1 .

You might be feeling a little sad lately ,possibly influences by other persons in your energy. You may be looking for guidance and spirit is wanting you to work towards building yourself up more financially and possibly becoming more stable. Being able to fully rely on yourself is the best way to avoid conflict with others surrounding you. You may have someone close to you, possibly a sister for some specific few people, who is looking at something and seemingly away from you. Sometimes you have to accept things for what they are and build yourself up and form a better connection with yourself . Deep down this person loves you no matter what. This can also be a part of yourself.

You're definitely learning in some way or another how to be there for yourself and be content with yourself. Don't let anyone be deceitful towards you at this time and try your best to trust yourself . Follow your heart, how you feel, and listen to what you naturally already know is right. You already have all the answers within.

Side note, some of you, it is also possible this person close to you or whoever they may be relating to you, is actually confused and in a way only doing or saying whatever it is as a reaction to something else. They may just need you to say something and stop being stubborn and something if you possibly have been or they might just be fishing for you to say something .

Peace and love.

Pile 2 .

You may be being confronted with a choice on how to respond information.

You might feel compelled or know you should focus elsewhere and," turn the other cheek."

Running away from things is not always the best solution to problems.

Think like a gambler, is it worth losing whatever or whoever you are looking away from?

Think rationally and try not to be too impulsive at this time.

Make sure if you care about someone to consider their emotions but do always put yourself first. Try not to get too caught up in your imagination and ground yourself.

You may be healing family wounds at this time.

I keep getting something about a pet fish.

If you have any pet even past on ,they might be trying to convey to you to be in a more Buddha like mental state if that makes sense.

Don't be naive or ignore problems, though. Healing is very important and you never fail to feel better in general in life after you accomplish a phase of healing.

Make sure you're giving to the right persons.

If you're confused, slow down and chill for a while.

Let yourself feel emotions, especially if there is some heartbreak you're trying to keep down.

Thank you. Peace and love.

Pile 3.

You might be ignoring advice or guidance from some people for the sake of individuality and or it simply just doesn't suit you.

I'm very proud of you if that's the case.

Water like in your picture is significant somehow.

At the end of the day, you have a certain destiny and even though some people may care about you and love you it doesn't mean you have to live your life according to what will make them happy or proud.

This could , for some of you, also just be accepting that you aren't the type to make money in a way that's considered as "normal."

But, if someone loves you, they'll love you regardless of what you choose to do with your life.

And final message for you-

Be happy . :) 🌈

Thank you. Peace and love.

Pile 4

Someone might have told you something upsetting in some way, perhaps it has caused some type of disturbance in your life.

Somebody might need to move out and are having trouble figuring it out or accepting what you feel like you're losing.

There is you showing up as coming out better on the other side of whatever this situation is.

Try to hold onto your faiths at this time and let your intuition guide you.

I most definitely see a rainbow at the end of the storm whether the storm is a few raindrops or a full blizzard..

Based on the energy I got from whoever gave you some type of information, it is about time you experience a fresh new start. You might meet new people soon.

I see you walking into a phase of self discovery in this next part of your life, probably the next few months. Always remember, for every situation that has cons there's bound to be pros.

However defensive you've been about yourself, keep it up. I see things about to be resolved or you're going to be in a calmer state soon.

Peace and love people.

Thank you.

🎈

-tiger girl

[katyspersonal]

I played more SOTE today!! I have mixed feelings because today just happened to be pure RAGE because of my awful skill issue.. but at the same time I feel so ALIVE xD (two parter)

1) So first of all, I got back to Specimen Storehouse to finish whatever was that business with Ansbach and Freyja! She gave an interesting dialogue about how yeah honor and shit but what Radahn would actually like is to live so he could wage war forever 💀 Definitely the character of all time gghguj

2) So I decided to explore a little more of that Church District below before I continue to seek my way to upper area! Turned out that Tree Spirit did NOT die due to a bug..... but it did now. XD

And dropped edgy (literally) sorcery lol

3) NEW NAMED CHARACTER!!!!!!!

Yeah, I've been noticing that this area has Fire Knights with another variant of the head piece! I even had an idea to grind these guys for it, but I just felt as thought it'd be pointless. And I was right! This mask dropped from non-respawning enemy! So yeah, the fire zombies raising in this area were given lore, I was pleased by such amount to detail yet again 🤔

4) So I kept looking for the way back in the Storehouse, but took the turn I did NOT try to take, and ended up in that weird golden-black area on the map that has been making me curious for a while!

5) ....ъ_ъ So, I was running around, surprised by how empty it was, and even questioned whether it was pointless sort of? So I decided to just check the giant flower and.. ..... oh my fuuUCKING God.

6) So it was another time where I kept howling about how awful/unfair/hard/etc this battle was and wanted to quit except I didn't! You see, at first I was playing as usual, and the stage 2 was a surprise. But the LEVEL of my skill issue started to show up at its finest here, because I absolutely could not dodge its briars attacks and I barely managed to heal in time!

I had to die MANY times, learning from my mistakes and just trials what to do and slowly adapting.. You see, it SHOULD have been obvious that hitting the "face" was the most effective, but nope! I only figured many attempts later! Just as how """pointless""" critical hit before phase transition was not pointless at all! At least I learned to 1) block strike attack and roll magic attack 2) that I can't use magic so it'd be better to place all 14 flasks at Crimson 3) figured to summon mimic in a creative way; since it gets summoned in the equipment I had at THE moment of summon but AI can't be trusted with blocking normally, I summoned it while two-handing the weapon so it hits stronger and then got my shield back XD

7) .........

I swear, sometimes I regret not being able to stream, because y'all should have seen my reaction when it turned out that this enemy had THREE stages, not two...... :')

8) I actually died just just JUST the very last moment ;-; I screenshotted it, it is on PS for now, it was SOOO infuriating. I can't even explain how I resisted the urge to scream and throw my controller because that required inhumane willpower. But hell if I didn't feel ALIVE at that moment xD

9) AND I KILLED IT EVENTUALLY FGFGCGGB

^ Got genuinely surprised by this drop!

10) I came back at Storehouse, FINALLY, and THIS TRAITOR @val-of-the-north IS NO LONGER MY FRIEND!!!!1

I asked him about this symbol being here since as I said earlier, I assumed that the reoccurring symbol with a fire and a circle on flags and such found here and there represented Messmer and Rellana; an impression I've got because I first saw it in her castle!

....but then Val, this RAT, casually said that it is actually likely another symbol of Messmer: snakes rather than fire. And of course. God of course it makes much more sense. It is all over this Storehouse. Yes we found a shield Rellana used for the ritual to prove loyalty to the Erdtree once here, but the overlapping circles straight up coil like snakes. And yet you TRAITOR never corrected me when I wrongly assumed that the symbol of fire + two circles overlapping meant Messmer and Rellana being allies. Goddamit STOP LETTING ME LOOK STUPID ON PUBLIC *bonks you with the newspaper*

11) So after some running and collecting (got a golden spell that some Fire Knights use), I've found my way out and first ran into some really strong knight that used GRAVITY MAGIC! I attempted to fight him but like, no. Nope. So I left him for later, and Val recommended me to use 'O, Mother' gesture to finally open the secret passage to where I was actually looking.

12) And hoooo boy... I already suspected where this was going because even on the map there were depictions of Golden leaves (on the Finger Ruins) part.

It was THE spoilered area itself!

13) What instantly struck me was that I could SWEAR it had to be the exact same flowers as on the painting of 'healthy' Midra Manse. I did not have a good image as I hit it early by a mistake, so I asked Val to fetch me the image, annnnd....

Look, sure, it could simply be blue curtains and obviously just a 'normal' flora of this realm, so of course it still exists in THE one place Messmer didn't burn, but dead everywhere else. (Here because of Frenzy + no sunlight). But also Hornsent Inquisitors did bully Midra and his followers (which did lead to Frenzied Flame business), and Ymir mentioned something about Marika's roots being placed in madness? Who the hell knows anymore...

14) NOOOOO WAY, WHEN YOU GET TO THIS POINT, A FRAGMENT OF THEME OF MARIKA/RADAGON STARTS PLAYING ;-;

THE IMPACT

15) Definitely visiting this place by myself felt more impactful than simply reading/watching this part of the lore..

16) I got SO angry at the Tree Sentinel though that for the first time EVER I decided to try and fight while on Torrent! And it was so effective that it gave me an idea to not follow further today but go and get that boss' ass from earlier like this! Which was the start of a big waste of time, but perhaps I am getting ahead of myself.. -_-

(Will share in the next post because Tumblr doesn't respect the way I choose to share screenshots for the girls ( @heraldofcrow ))

[johnslittlespoon]

ok okokk i may be pushing it but i just cant stop picturing barry circa 2012 with leaving!bucky. i just feel like theyd have the cutest dynamic ever. he gives art student vibes like maybe hes studying film or literature. theyre childhood bestfriends and maybe they were eachother's homoerotic-codependent-friendship canon event. UGHH theyd be so cute stfuu. and maybe bucky and gale are already established and curt is just yearning for a whileee like over a year of slow burn until the three of them are a throuple... idk i just miss curtbuckbucky. you dont have to change your canon for the long fic i just needed to share this idea lmfao

au post | NO ur not pushing it this is such fun world building teehee <33 genuinely this is gonna help me later for drafting! (FUCK MY LIFE HOW IS THIS 2K WORDS. i thought i only had a few thoughts... i was so wrong. my bad chief. enjoy/suffer ig)

ok so this is so funny because i've actually been thinking ab how sweet those two would be together, cute little nerdy besties, and how they'd meet because of course curt has to be in this fic!!

and the first thing my mind went to was the cliche homoerotic codependent friendship trope too LMAO. i'm feeling like maybe they meet on the first day of highschool; neither of them share their english class with any friends, and they end up sat next to each other, and john keeps side–eyeing him because curt looks... interesting. (ie: deep into his emo phase. the fringe. the smudged eyeshadow. chipped black nail polish, band shirts– all things john does not let him live down as they grow up.)

but his eyes settle on some pin on curt's jacket that has some character from his favourite movie or something, and the yap jumps out, john can't control it. blurts out a "you like ___ too?!" and curt's head snaps over and he nods nervously and john takes one look at those big sad charcoal–ringed blue puppy eyes and is like yup. this is the one. will protect with my life.

(tiny headcanon that rly won't have a big effect on plot or anything, but i feel like it just fits very well with john/his character in leaving– dude's got madddd undiagnosed adhd. he's written off as a loud mouth/troublemaker in his childhood, but he wants to be a good kid, his mind is just always going too fast and sitting still is torture and his parents get frustrated and don't look into the root of the problem, trying to discipline it out of him instead. i will heal my inner child by healing him alright)

they're attached at the hip from that moment on and it makes sense to no one because they seem like complete opposites, curt more inclined towards the arts and bookish things and his friends are all the same, whereas john is more inclined towards athletics and science and hangs around that type of crowd as well. but they both love video games and movies and music and they bond over never really feeling like they fit in anywhere particular and both groups of friends get along just fine when they all get together. <3

but yk time goes on, they learn things about themselves as they grow up, and curt and john are so close and spend so much time together that they're already a lot closer than regular friends– they just don't realize it. they think nothing of cuddling up on the couch watching movies together, or sharing a bed when john stays over at curt's place after he gets into a fight with his parents, or being much more interested in spending time together than pursuing girls.

and curt's pretty– john nearly mistakes him for a girl that first day they meet. the summer before their senior year, john practically spends the whole summer at curt's house, and curt's mom doesn't mind; she works long hours and is glad her son isn't spending the summer moping around indoors alone, and she loves john and gets the feeling that her home is a sanctuary for him. one day they're in the backyard lazing around, and they get onto the topic of first kisses, and neither of them have had a proper relationship outside of those classic week–long middleschool flings that don't actually mean anything, so there's not much to talk about.

but being dumb teenage boys, they start worrying about "what if we're really bad at kissing and no girls wanna go with us to senior prom this year" etc. and one of them pops the suggestion of practicing together, and thus begins a summer of sweet stolen kisses and hand holding and experimenting and dancing around calling it something. it ends when the summer does because they realize that they both work better as friends, but they're as close as ever and both definitely learn they aren't straight (and they probably make a cute pact– "if we aren't in love by the time we're thirty, we'll just marry each other.")

i don't see them really doing much together because they're young and shy and inexperienced, but it's enough for john to decide that yeah, he definitely likes guys too, but that's all that really amounts to (until he meets gale) because he's growing up in a small town in wisconsin and it's not the easiest/most accepting place to find other queers. john probably ends up dating a real sweet girl during his last year of highschool, but she's going away for college and john's going to a local one so it ends amicably at the end of summer, both of them staying close friends. (if we wanna get sickeningly wholesome, maybe she ends up pining for a girl while john's pining for gale and they share their little stories and give each other advice and facetime every week to catch up <3)

(++ curt ends up falling head over heels for ken, who he meets through john when curt and john's friend groups get together for movie nights or summer parties. john pretends to be annoyed at how lovesick they are when they first start crushing, but he ends up matchmaking and being the one to push them to confess their feelings after graduation because he loves his friends.)

BUT THEN, leaving this fic's 'canon' to elaborate on the throuple stuff you said! i miss curtbuckbucky too </3

in a separate universe, curt doesn't end up with ken, and as much as he loves his friendship with john and agrees that a relationship wouldn't have worked at that time in their lives, he spends that first year of college pining. when john starts talking about some guy named gale during their second year, he's a little sad, but mostly protective, because "what do you MEAN he's in his 30s??" and "he's a BIKER?"

but john eventually introduces him to gale after a few months of telling curt about him, probably once he and gale actually start seeing each other, and curt immediately gets it. and then he's in double–hell because not only is he a bit (a lot) in love with his best friend, but he's blushing every time said best friend's new bf talks to him, and they're gonna notice eventually if they haven't already and he feels so guilty.

more yearning ensues and john is dense and doesn't realize but gale picks up on it, maybe even notices john doing a bit of pining of his own that john's not fully aware of. and his heart twists because his mind goes to his own insecurities about how john should be seeing someone his own age, so he sits john down and opens up a conversation about it. john is adamant that he's very, very happy with gale, but he tells gale about his and curt's past and admits that he has always still had feelings for him, but insists that it's not something he'd ever pursue, that he values curt's friendship more.

gale throws him off by saying he wouldn't mind if john wanted to explore those feelings, and at first john gets anxious gale is calling things off with the two of them and this is his way of softening the blow, but gale reassures him that's not the case, that he's very happy with their relationship. he just encourages that if he wants to talk to curt and feel things out, he wouldn't be opposed to john and curt seeing each other as well– gale's often busy, after all, so it would be nice for john to have someone else, as long as curt's comfortable with that kind of arrangement and as long as john keeps gale in the loop.

they decide to kinda just feel it out as they go, but soon enough gale starts coming home from work every so often to find the two of them curled up on his couch together, sweet and innocent. curt's wary at first, always slightly detaching himself from john when gale's around, but gale is always friendly and doesn't change up his routine, settling on the couch at john's other side like it's not a big deal at all, wanting to show curt he's welcome there, not wanting john to feel guilty.

it's another scenario where lines just sorta start to blur over time, curt spending a lot of time over at gale's house, and gale sees the way curt looks at him, probably noticed it from the first time they met but chalked it up to nerves at the time. curt's an angel and he's grown quite fond of him, but he doesn't want to overstep, so he leaves it up to curt, thinking maybe the boy will mention it to john one day and john will in turn come to gale to talk about it.

and eventually that happens, just like gale thought it might. curt's just gone home and john's head is in his lap on the couch while they watch tv, and john asks "what do you think about curt?" and gale tells him that he's sweet and he loves how much john smiles when he's around him, the usual. "so you like him?" john pushes, and gale immediately has a feeling where this conversation is going, drags his eyes away from the tv to look down at john.

says "of course" easily, and lets john take his time forming his thoughts. john ends up telling him that he and curt were fooling around earlier while gale was at work (and god help gale for the images that puts in his head) and that he'd made some offhand comment about how curt better hurry up if he doesn't want gale to come home and catch him half naked on their couch. and john's all shy when he says "and curt, uh. y'know. that... did it for him" with a vague gesture LOL. gale never fails to find it amusing how certain things can fluster john to talk about after all they've done together.

"so, anyway. i asked him about it after, if it was a coincidence, and he was real shy about it, but he did admit after a whole lot of apologizing that he likes you." gale listens to him nervously get his words out, petting his hair encouragingly, waits for him to be done before he asks "how do you feel about that?" only to watch the flush return when john mumbles "it's hot."

this is getting sooo long i need to take away my own typing privileges, but basically that's how things would start between the three of them– john and gale agree that gale will let himself be a bit flirty with curt and see how curt takes it. obviously this goes a little too well when curt gets hot and bothered sat between john and gale during a movie night with john's hand on his knee and gale's arm resting on the couch behind him while he plays with curt's hair.

the movie is forgotten when gale's finger catches on a tangled curl and curt doesn't bite back the little whine that slips out in time and john's head snaps over and he mumbles a "fuck" when he realizes what's happened, and his lack of filter comes out to play when he turns to curt and asks "curt, can gale kiss you?" and curt turns to gale with big doll eyes and nods.

john ends up palming himself over his shorts as he watches gale coax curt into his lap, face hot and pupils blown as he gets to see both his guys make out in front of him, almost dizzy seeing curt get so shy and needy and pliant because when it's just the two of them, he and curt are both very balanced in their dynamic. they've been such close friends for so long that not much gets the other truly shy like that, and they're always quick to voice their wants and crack jokes while fooling around and all. so to see curt get so flustered in that way with gale has him lightheaded, and by the time they all collapse into gale's bed at the end of the night, john's convinced this is the best decision he's ever made.

there's a lot of pining on curt's end because for a while it's kinda just sex when it's the three of them, and he loves it but he also finds himself wanting more but feeling too scared to voice it because he feels like he's intruding. but eventually they all get their shit sorted out; curt fits into their relationship just right in a way gale and john never intended or expected, and gale falls for curt just as much as john has and curt does the same with gale.

gale's got two sweet things glued to his side now and man, do they ever give him a run for his money, and if he'd thought john had too much energy (and stamina) it's nothing compared to keeping up with both of them, but he wouldn't have it any other way. <3

throuple things won't be happening in the actual fic, but i do love the idea of exploring the dynamic the three of them might have in a spin–off of that au so this was rly fun thx :-) maybe i'll write a pwp oneshot set in that universe as an excuse to write more curtbuckbucky once the fic is done LOL we'll see!

[granulesofsand]

Real Separate People

Periodically explaining how our system works because neither plurality nor multiplicity are monolithic.

In our system, alters are people, separate people, real separate people. We use a version of Structural Dissociation that is multiple rather than quotient — instead of the metaphor of shredding one self like paper, or having grapes off the stem, we believe that self is built on the introspection of self-states.

We have many, many self-states. Many of our alters demonstrate more self-states, more substance, than singlets we’ve known. Self-states, by our definition, form when a brain has to make a blueprint it doesn’t already have. Everybody has self-states, and can gain them from healthy and unhealthy experiences (like becoming a parent or having to kill to survive). Self-states are only limited by experience and individual brains’ capacity to expand and archive.

Non-dissociative singlets who have a lot of self-states integrate them easily, combining the information and reshelving the states that aren’t needed at the time. A singlet mother can evolve her mother self-state to suit her children’s needs as they grow. If that singlet grew up as a street kid, she might have processed the trauma of that and placed it out of mind until she needs defense skills. Singlets only have one blanket of introspection, only one self over all their states.

Alters are the same. Some brains don’t elaborate each alter to be like a singlet; maybe their amnesia is low enough to cooperate or they switch often enough that it’s working to have each do only their set tasks. We’ve found that our alters can gain self-states relatively simply by exposing them to new experiences, but not every system works alike.

At this phase of our healing, almost all of our alters are 3-dimensional and well-rounded. Our alters are not too similar because we live different lives, even in the same body. Different lives, different life experiences. Almost all of our recorded members grew by living rather than integrating our others’ experiences.

We have many alters who gained experience by fusing, and we can tell now that fusing several alters with complimentary self-states yields a bulkier alter. We have also had many fusions where the alters involved both had so many self-states that the result was no more than either of the alters going in, but came out an amalgamation of their traits attempting to stabilize.

We intend to remain multiple. We are confident that each of us is whole, and we know how to push selves towards wholeness if they choose. We wholeheartedly disagree that any alter is a fraction of a person, no matter how few self-states they have. Self is not measured by self-states, but by reflection and thought. Self-states are not limited like a grocery store deal, but are added by need and ability.

Some systems experiencing themselves as less-than-one (by each self or total) does not take away from our experience of ourselves as more-than-one. None of us have to be wrong in our perception, and neither of us should have to demonstrate that we exist as we are. But both groups can.

The rigidity in assumption is anti-science, anti-reality, and an unethical approach to learning (especially learning from sapient people). Get out of your echo chamber. The diversity of humanity is a hallmark, not a mistake.

[decafdino]

Grief Question Tag!

(1) Which character death in 911 Lone Star hit you the hardest?

okay this has to be Gabriel. I think what is so devastating to me about his death is that I really didn't believe the rumors that he wasn't going to be at the wedding, especially since the writers made it seem like it was the beginning of a new phase in Carlos and Gabriel's relationship slowly healing. It felt real and sudden and I love it as a plot device now but in the moment I was fucking devastated.

(2) What is your favorite grief-related moment in the show?

I know most people will say it was TK's plane ep or Carlos/Owen sharing a drink, but that montage in season 2 after Tim's death really got me. I love that it shows everyone's reactions to death, not just Owen/Tarlos. Especially the moment between Paul and Marjan.

(3) Do you think there will be a character death in season 5? If so, any guesses about who it might be?

I don't think there will be a character death tbh. If there was, I have absolutely zero idea who it could be. All the deaths in lone star are always so sudden to me, I can never predict who it will be next (other than TK bc he has some sort of plot armor).

(4) Which living character's death would destroy you the most?

If Carlos or TK died, I would lose it. Mainly because one of the show's selling points to me was their relationship, how it develops, and how much they had to fight for it. If one of them died and made the other a widower right after they got their fairytale wedding, I don't know how I could go on. Also Grace. I don't care if she's not in the show anymore; if they write her off as dead I'm going to be so upset.

(5) Which character's childhood trauma do you think was most significant in shaping them?

Carlos, Owen and TK are definitely good contenders, but I think there's a lot more to Paul's story that we haven't seen that really impacts him. As a fellow trans man, I can really relate to how he reacts to everything around him. He developed an entire sixth sense for sleuthing in order to keep himself safe. If that doesn't speak to trauma, then I don't know what does. I'd love to learn more about his backstory, specifically his relationship with his father and how his death impacted Paul.

Answer the questions and tag some more people to play! Make sure to tag @lonestar-s5countdown so they don’t miss your answers!

@heartstringsduet @sanjuwrites @lemonlyman-dotcom @emsprovisions @tellmegoodbye @whatsintheboxmh @paperstorm @carlos-in-glasses @liminalmemories21

[highpriestess13]

What Are You Needing To Know?

The numbers 13 and 4 could be very significant, you could be seeing either numbers or both more frequently than normal lately. 1212 and 1221 are also an upcoming theme for you guys as well. There's a pattern here with the number 3. You can be seeing that number a lot especially 33/333/3333. Certain things may have a theme of "3" like for instance, something takes 3 days, 3 weeks or 3 months. 3 significant things happen in one day, things like that. Maybe your life path number is 3 or 4, you could've been born on the third or fourth day of the month or March and April may be significant. Something is the circle of life... some things are part of the phases of life as well. I'm seeing like a turning of a wheel, like the wheel of fortune. But I'm getting more like the behind the scenes of the wheel turning, like the momentum.. physics. I feel like this message is more about the mystical and mysterious of life in general and also yours personally.

I feel like you may be wanting or trying to figure out not so much the truth of something but more so the hidden. This may be the hidden meaning of life, the hidden meaning of your purpose and what you're supposed to be doing. For others, you're needing some help or assistance in a project. This may also be how you convey a message or what you're supposed to or needing to say, or knowing how to start a project but it's all about that first step. Something may serve as a reminder for you, like the Universe reminding you of something that is important or sacred to you in some. Others, I feel this may be a goddess... they may be surrounded by love and/or water, beaches, lighthouse... definitely ocean energy. They may also be associated with fertility and definitely the number 3, healing and maybe even reconnecting with people or the past in general. There's heavy energy around the past either coming back to haunt you or just someone from the past coming back up. You may be feeling a bit of Deja vu as well or you may even feel like your past is coming back to haunt you but not so much in a negative light though. It's like your present life is somehow connected to your recent past. There's this energy of going back to fix things or having a second chance in some way, like living in an alternate universe/ timeline. It's giving very weird and mysterious. Just picture the Universe pressing the reset button and you automatically do everything all over but you don't really realize it. I hope all of that makes sense.

I'm hearing "time lapse" and "natural mystic" by Bob Marley is also significant. I'm seeing a breakthrough but this is both mental and spiritual... like I said before, it's this feeling of something repeating itself or replaying it self. There's also something about the matrix, this may be a breakthrough that you might go through. Intuitive messages could be a lot more out there and clearer than usual so do expect the veil to be completely thin. Divine guidance is stronger at this time as well and maybe the need to really dive into things or learn or wanting to share information or what you already know. Many of you may be channeling a lot more too!

I see a feminine energy that is very angelic, healing and very giving. This may be an ancestor, goddess or your higher self. Some of you may be in the season of giving and receiving, some may even receive many blessings during this time especially around Thanksgiving and/or Christmas. The theme of harvesting is very heavy in you guys' energy along with giving too. As you receive, you will give but only a portion. You may be in the spirit of donating or wanting to donate, I say to do so especially if you have more than enough to give and share. There's something about home or hearth (idk why hearth but that's the word I heard). This may be giving to those who are in need especially with Winter coming up, making sure that those in need have items to keep them warm like a coat, gloves, hand warmers, etc. Not sure why that's coming up but hey! lol. Some of you may have gone through is or is currently going through this but know that the wheel is turning once again... like the situation flipping or this may be a situation where, you know what it feels to be in a certain situation so now you're wanting to give because you already know how it feels. This could be why you may be reliving the past because you're going to have some sort of come up and you're needing to not forget where you came from or the situation that you came from. Remember how you felt and how you were when it was you, now it's time for you to do for those that are currently in the same situation that were in, in the recent past. I hope this made sense and I hope that it helped!

**PLEASE KEEP IN MIND THAT THESE MESSAGES ARE COLLECTIVE MESSAGES SO THE MESSAGE MAY OR NOT BE FOR YOU! IF YOU WOULD LIKE A MORE PERSONAL READING, MY PRICES AND TYPES OF READINGS I OFFER ARE PINNED ON MY PROFILE. IF YOU WANT A MINI READ, I'M OFFERING $5 READINGS. CASH APP AND PAYPAL INFO ARE ALSO PINNED ON MY ACCOUNT.**

[superfluouskeys]

i know you're probably not into maleficent/aurora anymore, but since you were like THE malora writer, i'm curious in what do you think would happen to maleficent when aurora dies? either from natural causes like old age or somethiing terrible happened

My friend, this is so kind of you to say!! This is also, unfortunately, MY JAM LOL

So in my personal interpretation, I think once Aurora became more sure of herself and the relationship, she would learn (passively, not even really thinking of it as such) to de-fuse Maleficent a lot of the time. Maleficent is naturally temperamental and always about 3 bad steps away from starting a fight. Once Aurora learns that this is just sort of how she is and she isn't actually mad, and doesn't even usually mean anything by it, Aurora learns to just kind of skillfully sidestep like 99% of Maleficent's bad moods. As a result, because she isn't being fought at every turn, Maleficent (also without realizing it) calms down a LOT, and tends to stop seeing everything as a challenge or threat, even from ppl who are not Aurora. This mostly just freaks ppl out, because you know she always seems super calm until she is suddenly Not LOL, and the average person does not know how to tell Maleficent's "actually calm" from her "quietly seething."

Additionally, while I believe that Maleficent operates on her own code of ethics and doesn't just do whatever, I also think her ethics and what she considers "wrong" differ significantly from where the average human would draw the line. As she grows more comfortable in her relationship with Aurora, I think she would be surprisingly willing to draw lines where Aurora wants her to, at least most of the time, because in her mind, e.g. not harassing someone who mildly annoyed her is important to Aurora, while it's not that important to Maleficent.

However, I think both of these changes, no matter how long Aurora lives, are utterly temporary. Once Aurora is gone, Maleficent will go back to the way she was before, if not ultimately worse, because in a sense kindness will remind her of Aurora, and I don't think she will ever reach a place where that is a good thing for her.

I think Maleficent's first reaction would be a kind of desperate fury, sort of like a wounded wild animal but with very powerful magic. She would be absolutely terrorizing the countryside, especially anyone she perceived to be responsible. It's almost worse if Aurora dies of old age, because then the fault in her mind would lie with...everything, the nature of life itself. This phase could last forever, depending on other factors, and I think it would be a very long time before Maleficent is even slightly functional again.

Even in eg. Prisoner-verse where Maleficent has other friends, I can see her getting into terrible fights with almost all of them. Girl can be next-level vicious when she wants to be, and even if her friends have known grief, most of them don't know exactly what she's going through, and therefore from Maleficent's perspective are not in a position to comment. Also I think "Aurora wouldn't want you to live like this" or similar would be like, the worst possible thing you could say to her, and might send her spiraling into a murderous rage all over again, because how DARE you presume to tell her what Aurora would want?

I am really a sucker for these kinds of villain backstories LOL, you can play me the same tune over and over and I will never get tired of it. I think the only kind of person who could reach Maleficent would be someone who's sort of similar to Aurora, at least in unfailing kindness. I'm imagining someone just trying to save her village or w/e from being razed to the ground showing sympathy to Maleficent for her lost love, and Maleficent showing just the smallest amount of mercy in memory of Aurora, even if ultimately she hasn't changed or healed at all. (oh my godddddd don't look at me I want to write this now lol)

So anyway, it was 5:30 in the morning, a very normal time to be awake, and I was thinking, well, would anyone in Prisoner-verse be able to calm her down at all? I think she and Kinsale would absolutely get into a really bad fight, and Zenovia would try to be chill about it but she would also pretty quickly be like okay well talk to me when you've calmed down lol. And then I realized............

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“Hey.”

Maleficent doesn’t move.  She doesn’t know how long she’s been sitting here.  Odd, that she doesn’t feel a fresh wave of fury at Joy’s presence.  Then again, perhaps she is simply too tired to feel much of anything.

“I’m not going to say anything.”  Joy holds out her hands in a show of defense.

Maleficent inhales, sighs.  Her throat is burning.  She only distantly remembers the sound of screaming, and realizes now that the memory was of her own voice.

“Good,” says Maleficent.  Joy of all people should know that there is nothing to say.

A long silence follows.  Joy joins her on the floor some distance away, and pretends to train her gaze upon the fire.

“I do have one question, actually,” says Maleficent.

“Hm?”

Maleficent closes her eyes.  She tries to imagine Joy the way she looked in pictures, with long, beautiful hair that she wore in intricate curls, and a radiant smile full of youthful mischief.  “How did you…not…”

But words fail her.  She holds out her hand, grasping at nothing.

“What,” says Joy, “burn down the world?”

Maleficent sighs again.  It is as apt a question as any.

“Well, it was perhaps to my benefit that I am not nearly so powerful as you, Mistress Maleficent,” says Joy, although her characteristic attempt at wryness comes out remarkably strained.  “I wouldn’t have gotten very far.”

Maleficent opens her eyes.  The flames of the fire flicker and dance, enticing in their destruction.  “I’m not sure I would have cared.”

Joy chuckles, dry and mirthless.  “Yes, well,” she says.  She does not continue.

Outside, a terrible wind howls, desperate and mournful.  The windows rattle and the fire flickers low, casting them both in dramatic shadow.

Maleficent inhales.  She closes her eyes again.  “Does it ever…?” 

The words catch in her throat.  She already knows the answer.

“No,” says Joy quietly.  A long silence follows.  The embers from the fire crackle meekly, and the mournful wind falls deadly silent.

“But…I don’t know.  You find…other reasons.  To, you know…”  She waves her hand vaguely at the fire, and stokes it back to life.

Maleficent shakes her head.  Reasons?  The word feels foreign, meaningless.  “I don’t know that I ever had a reason for anything, before…”

Before her, she means to say, but she cannot.  There was always a before her, yes, but now there is an after her.  Everything from now on is after her, without her, and the mere idea of it is something akin to drowning, or perhaps slowly suffocating, deep underground, with the weight of the earth sinking down upon her chest.  What did she do before?  How did she live?  However is she to live now, knowing what she has lost?

“Yeah,” says Joy simply.

Maleficent doesn’t know how long they sit together in silence after that.  It hardly matters.

--

ANYWAY THANK YOU ANONYMOUS FRIEND I HAD FUN LOL

[tuliptic]

Wonderland: On My My Way

To put it simply, pick an Ateez logo and let's see which phase of life you're in right now, are you on your way to where you wanna be. The entire motif behind is me wanting to use Ateez’s song titles as inspiration for my readings, as how they’ve inspired me to be better. So yeah, here’s something (again).

Close your eyes, meditate on this topic and ask yourself the question: “Where am I? Am I on my way to where I wanna be?” Breathe in and out, make sure your mind and heart is calm. Then, open your eyes to see which pile talks to you the most/draws you in the most. Once you’ve found your pile, scroll down to the respective parts to see what are the messages for you.

Piles go from left to right

Disclaimer: This is solely for my entertainment purposes. Take only whatever that you feel like it. If it doesn’t resonate, it’s okay to just drop it. That aside, I do not consent to my work or here to be used by third parties on this platform or other websites.

Decks used: Luna Cat Tarot Deck (Major Arcana), Linestrider Tarot Deck, Sweet Dreams Oracle Deck, Starcodes Astro Oracle Deck, self made lyrics deck.

Pile 1

Overall theme of querent: The Sun

First thing I’m picking up on is that you like bright things? Things that shine, glimmer, bright colours? Maybe not so bright colours but something that’s pretty striking? It’s like you like to stand out? Weirdly I’m picking up on fire (Leo) energy as well. Like, you’re known to be the light of the party, someone who’s always making the office lively, making other people laugh (not in the class clown way). If you aren’t, then it is someone that you’ve wanted to be. It’s just an adorably optimistic energy I’m picking up and making me smile here.

1. Where am I now? Queen of Cups

You're getting more and more in tune with yourself, allowing yourself to take time to meditate and heal yourself from your past traumas. Some of you may be on different stages, but you all know about the importance of healing and have taken action towards it. You’re slowly nurturing yourself. I’m also seeing some that may be healing through artistic means? Drawing? Colouring? You open yourself to inspiration and watch creativity flow through you. It’s a very warm, welcoming and flowy energy here, allowing yourself to adapt to whatever situations life throws at you.

2. Where do I wanna go? Queen of Pentacles

You want to be someone practical yet has a nurturing energy. Not so much of a femme fatale kinda energy, more like a teacher? Or a career counsellor kinda vibe? Where you use whatever you’ve learnt to help the future generation or anyone under you who wants to learn. You also want to achieve financial independence, so that you can help others the way others have helped you. I’m seeing you’ve received help before and hence, there’s this nurturing energy that’s heavy where you return the favour.

3. What should I prepare for this journey? Temperance

You need to learn the importance of balance. To achieve where you want to go, you need to balance your efforts and energy. Rest when you need to rest, move when you need to move. A journey is long, and you need time to let your car and yourself rest, add gas to your car before you embark on a long journey. Gain back the balance that you’ve once lost, or you’ve thought you’ve never needed. Cuz you’ll be needing that balance back.

I’m mainly seeing the balance of what you want and what you can. For example, you want to achieve level 5, but your current best is level 3. You can’t just burn yourself out to achieve level 5 with what you have. You can only accept whatever that’s happening, take your time to build yourself up to level 5 and get that. The balance between your physical wants and your mental wants, the balance between rest and work. You need some form of work-life balance back into your life. Clarify whatever you need to, make a list, see which aspect of life you’re lacking on and work on that.

4. How should I go on my way? Page of Cups

There will be creative opportunities coming your way. Let your curiosity lead you around and about. The Universe is dropping messages, opportunities, and help along your way. It’s up to you to catch them and to work towards it. Your curiosity will become your greatest asset. Use it wisely, make sure to let them guide you. If you have no dreams right now, time to write them down and work towards them. Once you’ve set your mind to do something, the Universe will help you out on your way. Think of yourself as the Universe’s beloved, let things fall in place for you. Things may be difficult right now, but there’s always a tomorrow that brings hope for you. You will not feel you’re alone, and you’ll not let anyone feel like they’re alone.

Overall energy: The Moon, The Fool rx

There’s The Sun earlier, and we have The Moon here. There’s a lot of unknown and uncertainty here. You’ve been charging ahead without thinking much earlier. You’ve realised what you’ve been doing was reckless, and now you gotta realign yourself. Know that you’ll need a lot of structure back in your life, and let your dreams give you inspiration and guidance. This pile may have prominent Saturn or is Saturn dominant (the nurturing yet practical energy).

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Pile 2

Overall theme of querent: Chariot rx

I have a feeling that life is speeding way too fast for you that you’re now having a hard time to juggle and to gain back the control. And what happens when you lose control? You crash, you get lost. So this is your current state, where you’re trying to pick yourself up and trying to find your way back on your track of life.

1. Where am I now? Knight of Wands

You're somewhere, and you’re on the way. “Where’re we going, no one knows it, we're just going, right? For glory, for victory, we can fight all night.” speaks about you right now. Yes I quoted Ateez again but it makes sense okay, since Knight of Wands talks about action, and you’re in the middle of a journey. I feel that you’re in the middle of a search, and once you’ve found your direction, you’ll charge towards it with strength and faith. You’re working with your dreams and spirit’s energy to reach your highest good, and the journey of searching for it seems fun.

2. Where do I wanna go? Page of Swords rx

You probably have some stubborn personalities in you, where you wanna walk on the road of self expression. I don’t think you have a fixed path, but you do have short goals in life. It’s like… You don’t set a goal like “I wanna be a CEO” kinda goal, but something more like “In five years I wanna reach managerial position, and then in ten years I wanna have my own house.” kinda thing. It’s more visualised, something that can be seen and measurable. You’re also someone who’s driven by your visions. So to have something like a short term goal would be helpful for you to reach where you wanted to go. 

3. What should I prepare for this journey? Two of Swords

I’m getting the feeling that knowledge is needed. Not the book kinda knowledge, but knowledge you learn from being an adult, something that will not be taught in schools. It’s like… Learning how to recognise the needs of other people and answering to them, learning how to catch up on other people’s boundaries, learning how to read facial expressions. These will be the one of the two swords you’ll be wielding.

The other sword you’ll be wielding is the interpersonal relationships you’ve built on the way. The people you can trust, the people you can rely on, the people you can confide in. The reason is cuz there will be times that your eyes will be covered by the various promises life can give, but it all may be an illusion, and you’ll be needing these two swords to cut through the mist and to proceed in life. These are the abundance you’ll be bringing with you for this journey.

4. How should I go on my way? Three of Wands rx

First and foremost, you must remember you’re not alone on your journey. You need to stop playing small, start planning out your journey, plan for unexpected delays and what else can you do along the way. There may be side quests around you for you to complete, so do them. You might find some unexpected items that can help you level up or to help you out in your journey. Be aware of whatever that’s happening around you. Do remember to move forward, but don’t forget to enjoy the companionship and sceneries of the journey. Be at peace with yourself, create the peace you’ve wanted. You want something, then reach out to it and get them with your hands. Make your journey a pleasant one, follow your bliss and accept limitless joy.

Overall energy: Judgement, Queen of Swords rx

Overall speaking, I feel that you’ve been pretty harsh with yourself and have been judging yourself from your lack of success. See, you have not failed, you have not fallen. But you see lack of success as failure, which will mess your head up a bit cuz you’ll feel like you’re a disappointment when you’re not. You’re called to nurture yourself first, only then focus on the authoritative side of you and of your career. I’m seeing some of you may have 10H stellium as well, or heavy earth energy. This ended up very career-ish so Cap energy as well.

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Pile 3

Overall theme of querent: The Hierophant

First thing I’m seeing here is that you’re someone who fights for tradition. Not just uphold, but fight. You have a hard time accepting new things and rather do things in an old fashioned way, in the safest way possible. You rarely take risks unless the success rate is over 95%. Don’t ask me how I came up with that number.

1. Where am I now? Ten of Wands rx

You’re in a stage where you’ve been holding a lot of responsibilities on your shoulders. I’m seeing that you’ve gotten them on you because of a lack of trust? Like you have a problem trusting people to do things your required way, so you took everything up on you and take that extra burden on you. Know that you are capable, but you’re also capable of trusting others, to release and let you team members do the other work. Create your own peace by letting go of what needs to let go.

2. Where do I wanna go? Page of Pentacles

I’m seeing that you want to get better and better with whatever you’re doing, to attain skill development. This may be because you wanna catch whatever financial opportunities that come your way. There’s some sort of ambitious energy I’m also feeling here, where you may have focused too much of your energy in taking up tasks to make yourself better. You’ll want to work with your dreams and your spirit’s energy to reach your highest good, and you want to enjoy your journey in attaining financial independence as well as its opportunities.

3. What should I prepare for this journey? Knight of Pentacles

Hard work and practicality came to me first. You’ll need to put in the effort to improve in the various skills you’ve wanted to develop. But you’ll need to remain practical as well. You can develop the skills you want, but you also need to develop the skills you need. Be practical and balanced. Put yourself through the routine of learning, of practising. Get to know people, talk to them, learn about them. This may sound difficult for some of you as you may not be used to talking to people, listening to them even. But you’re called to do so as you need to learn how to create strong emotional connections with the people in your life, especially the important people.

I’m also seeing that you’ll need to prepare for a loooong journey. It’s gonna be a battle of stamina. You’ll be needing to build yourself up before you can head out, be prepared with your wisdom, with your faith, with whatever connections that you’ve made. Weirdly, the words “to gain something, you’ll need to lose something first” came into my mind. You need to lose the feeling of shame when you change from what you’ve done to something else. Sometimes, you know that being stubborn doesn’t help. But you fear the looks of other people, fear how they’ll sneer at you. Thing is, you won’t get things done if you fear that much. So yeah, lose that sense of shame and gain the success of the things you’re doing. I hope I’m making sense here.

4. How should I go on my way? Eight of Swords

Stop playing the victim, let go of those negative thoughts, let go of those self-imposed restrictions. There’s this ego that you’re holding and you need to open up your eyes to see them before everybody leaves you. You’re called to do some critical thinking and to do some introspection and act on them accordingly. 

The energy here is very sharp. Usually people around will help to lead the blind, but people won’t want to help people who are trapping themselves, who don’t wanna leave the prison of swords they’ve built. There’s only so much others can help. It may seem like a painful journey but one day, when you look back, you’ll see how far you’ve journeyed. 

Overall energy: Judgement, Ten of Swords

You’re going through some sort of judgement? I’m seeing this comes from outside and there’s some fear in you. As much as you wanna emphasise on loving yourself, that you’re on the right path, you still feel the stabbing pain from the swords that are on you. There’s this painful journey that you’re going through right now, but know that it’s to tell you that the end is here and there will be a new cycle where you can start things anew. Something may be amiss this time, and you can learn about it and to not repeat the same mistakes in the new cycle.