#peter & harley
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if a character means enough to me i will truly never stop thinking about them. i just retire them into a little back room in my brain and periodically bring them out to stare at them under a little light
#tag your faves#matthew holt#not me black#black not me#levi ackerman#new addition to the list tbh but i know his ass is here to stay#hange zoe#erwin smith#their asses too#keith kogane#lance mcclain#ashamed so many voltron characters are on this list#takashi shirogane#peter parker#tony stark#harley keener#aziraphale#crowley#anthony j crowley#surprisingly?#bakugou katsuki#shouto todoroki#steve harrington#will byers#wallace wells#scott pilgrim#OMG#killua zoldyck#gon freecss#kurapika
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Harley: Wanna know what would be really cool?
Peter: Honestly, I don't think I wanna know, no.
Harley: Being shot
Tony: No!
Peter: Been there, done that. Not particularly cool either…
Tony: You’ve been what?
Peter:
Harley: No, no! BEING SHOT. As in being the one… shot… at someone! As in human projectile with the speed of a bullet!
Peter:
Tony:
Harley: I mean… think of the damage here…
Peter: *sitting up* This holds promise.
Tony: No!
Peter: We'd have to take into account a ton of stuff, mass and volume of human projectile…
Harley:...energy source and force distribution…
Peter:... Acceleration curve, g force tolerance…
Harley:... trajectory and stability…
Peter: I'm bringing the whiteboard!
Tony: NO!
#they did develop it#looking for volunteers to test it#harley keener#playing with peter and harley is so fun#harley keener and peter parker are bros#peter parker#peter parker incorrect quotes#mcu fanfic#mcu fandom#mcu incorrect quotes#irondad and spiderson#tony stark#irondad#iron dad#spiderson#incorrect marvel quotes#tony stark incorrect quotes#ironman#spider man#incorrect mcu quotes
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Peter: can we get a puppy
Tony: no
Peter: why
Tony: we have Harley
Peter: but Harley isn't a puppy
Harley, spinning in circles trying to lick his elbow:
Peter:
Peter: never mind I see your point
#.thewrittenpodcast#incorrect irondad and spiderson#incorrect marvel quotes#incorrect quotes#iron dad#iron man#irondad#irondad and spideyson#marvel incorrect quotes#marvel mcu#mcu avengers#iron man mcu#harley keener#incorrect iron man#iron man movies#incorrect tony stark#tony stark#mcu marvel avengers#incorrect avengers#incorrect avengers quotes#spider man#spiderman#incorrect spiderman quotes#marvel#mcu incorrect quotes#mcu#iron sons#iron spider#irondad and spiderson#peter parker
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This Means War
Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader
Synopsis: Peter and his crush on you feel threatened when your childhood best friend Harley Keener comes to visit and clearly harbors feelings for you
Masterlist
“Do you think I’d explode if I drank this?” You asked and swished around the insides of the beaker you were holding. Peter looked up at you through his lab goggled and chuckled.
“I don’t know. You should try it.”
“You say that now but you’d be so sad if I exploded.” You insisted. “You’d have no one to watch Over the Hedge with.”
“Wait, can we watch Over the Hedge tonight?” He pleaded. “I forgot about that movie. I love it so much.”
“I know you do. Which is why you’re gonna be sad and alone watching it tonight and thinking wow, I wish I didn’t let my best friend explode.” You shrugged and put the beaker down.
“Um, excuse you. I would never be best friends with a girl. You have cooties and go to Jupiter to get more stupider.”
“Oh, but that’s where you’re wrong.” You chortled. “Because I actually went to college to get more knowledge. It’s boys who went to Jupiter to get more stupider.”
“But if I, as a boy, successfully figured out how to travel to Jupiter, wouldn’t that make me the smarter one? Since I cracked interplanetary travel?”
“I think you should drink this.” You said after a beat of silence and held the beaker up. Peter laughed and you did too. He snuck another glance at you as you combined the contents of two flasks and made a tiny explosion. You often accompanied him in the lab when he was at the Avengers tower despite not being much of a scientist yourself. You just liked to help and watch as he did his thing.
“Thanks for helping me, by the way.” Peter said. “I’m sure you have a million other things you’d rather be doing than helping me develop new kinds of web fluid.”
“I don’t mind.” You shrugged. “If you throw out the words “tornado web”, of course I’m gonna want to help you make that possible. Plus, I like spending time in the lab with you.”
“You do? Because so do I.” He said as a blush covered his face. You looked up from what you were working on and gave him a smile. Peter sucked in a sharp breath and cleared his throat.
“Um, so, I’m just gonna throw this out there and you can tell me how you feel.” Peter began. “I was wondering if maybe sometime you’d want to-“
“Where is she?” Peter was cut off by an unfamiliar voice booming through the lab. You immediately looked up and pulled your goggles down.
“Harley?” You asked, sending a twinge of jealousy down to Peter’s stomach.
“Who?” He asked you. His question was answered by a tall, sandy blonde guy walking into the lab. He wore an oversized corduroy jacket with patches on the elbows that made him look the kind of effortlessly cool Peter could only dream of looking.
“Harley!” You exclaimed and put your beaker down to run to him. Peter watched with furrowed eyebrows as you threw your arms around Harley’s neck and hugged him tightly. Harley wrapped both arms around you and lifted you off the ground as he spun around.
“There’s my girl. I missed you so much.” He said into your ear as he swayed back and forth with you in his arms.
“I missed you too.” You told him as you pulled out of the hug but stayed in his arms. Peter felt like he was about to pass out and maybe even die over the sight in front of him so he cleared his throat to remind you he was there.
“Hi. Sorry, your girl? Who is this guy?” Peter asked you through a forced laugh as he shit daggers at Harley.
“Oh, sorry. Peter, this is Harley Keener. He’s my dad’s friend.” You explained as you slid out of Harley’s embrace but kept an arm around his torso.
“Your dad’s friend? How old is he?” Peter asked.
“He is your age. Feel free to direct any of your questions at me, by the way.” Harley said sarcastically but playfully to Peter.
“Harley, this is Peter. My dad’s other young adult male friend.” You told Harley. Harley held out his hand and Peter shook it as hard as he could while never breaking eye contact with who he had now deemed his competition.
“Right. I’ve heard of you. You’re the one that can shrink down really small, right?” Harley asked while still shaking Peters hand. Peter narrowed his eyes at Harley when he registered the subtle shade and tightened his grip.
“No. That’s Antman. Peter is Spiderman.” You explained. Peter gave you a look that told you to stop talking since you had just revealed his identity.
“It’s okay. We can trust Harley. He’s known everyone’s secret alias’s from before the Avengers were even a thing. He’s not gonna tell anybody.” You assured Peter.
“Yeah, you can trust me. But sorry for the mix up. I just assumed you had shrunk yourself to be that short.” Harley smirked as he stopped shaking Peter’s hand.
“I’m not short.” Peter defended. “I’m the average height of a woman.”
“I bet you are.” Harley snorted. “You said it was Peter, right?”
“Yes. A man’s name. That makes one of us.” Peter mumbled out of the corner of his mouth.
“That’s weird. You’ve never mentioned him, Sands.” Harley said to you as he slung an arm over your shoulders. Peters jaw tightened as his eyes flickered between you and Harley.
“Sands?” Peter asked you.
“Oh, it’s an old nickname from when we were kids that he still insists on using for some reason.” You said and playfully rolled your eyes.
“How cute.” Peter scrunched his nose. “Who doesn’t love nicknames?”
“I’m guessing you do, Spiderman. How did you get your powers anyway? Did you fall into a giant tank of spiders or something?” Harley asked, making you laugh.
“No. No one has a giant tank of spiders just lying around uncovered. I got bitten. And then it got infected. And now I’m really sticky and sensitive to loud noises and don’t need glasses anymore.” Peter stated with zero amusement in his voice.
“Hm. I’m starting to see why you didn’t bring this guy up, Sands.” Harley whispered in your ear but Peter still heard. He gulped and felt his jealousy grow as you leaned into Harley to hear him better.
“I’m sorry, how did you say you two know each other?” Peter asked through another fake laugh.
“My dad befriended Harley when we were kids. He’s a family friend now. He and his mom come over for holidays and family dinner sometimes but I haven’t seen him in a while since his band went on tour.”
Peter fought the urge to laugh at him being in a band but didn’t when he remembered that you had a thing for band guys. He looked Harley up and down and had to admit that he was your type to a T.
“So you grew up together? Thats great. You must have a real sibling bond now after knowing each other all those years. And you know what they say about siblings.“
“And what do they say about siblings?” Harley asked him with an amused smile.
“Well I didn’t think I’d have to explain why incest is bad to you but I guess I don’t know how you do things down in…wherever you’re from.”
“I’m originally from Tennessee. And you’re right, we do have a special bond. Y/n was my best friend before her dad sent her to fancy private school and she got all pretty and made rich friends.” Harley teased and gave your shoulder a squeeze.
“Hey. We’re still friends.” You insisted.
“Best friends, though?” He asked skeptically. You laughed and looked at Peter, whose expression immediately made you drop your smile. You and Harley were not as close as you used to be and in his absence, you’d grown close to Peter. In that moment, you didn’t really know who you considered your best friend.
“Peter and I were actually just in the middle of making something. You can totally stick around and help but I know you’re not much of a science guy.” You said to change the subject.
“That’s okay. I’m gonna go say hi to your mom and catch up with you later, all right?” Harley asked as he placed a hand on each of your shoulders. He was so touchy with you and to make matters worse, you looked perfectly comfortable with it. Despite you and Peter being close, you were never the type of friends to show physical affection.
“Okay. Thanks for saying hi. We’ll talk later.” You replied.
“We will. Now come on. Bring it in.” Harley smiled and opened his arms to you. Your eyes flicked to Peter again who looked like someone had take his batteries out. You felt inexplicably guilty as you stepped into Harley’s arms for a hug.
“Missed you.” Harley hummed as he rubbed his hand in circles on your back.
“Missed you too.” You said as you stared into Peter’s eyes over Harley’s shoulder. Harley gave your arm a squeeze before leaving the lab, leaving you and Peter in awkward silence for a while.
“What?” You laughed nervously to break the silence.
“You really never mentioned me to him?” Peter asked quietly.
“I have. I definitely told him about the time you got your finger stuck in that park bench.”
“Okay, well that was really traumatic for me so thanks for bringing that up. I’m glad that’s the one thing worth mentioning about me.” Peter grumbled and went back to working on his web fluid.
“Peter, come on.” You groaned. “Don’t be mad at me. I talk about you all the time. He probably just didn’t remember because I usually call you “my friend” when I tell a story about you since he doesn’t know you.”
“Okay. That makes sense. But how come you never mentioned him to me? Did you know want me to know about this other guy best friend or something?”
“I have mentioned him. Remember I told you about the friend I used to play house with? But we’d always fight because we both wanted to be the dog?”
“He definitely looks the part of the dog.” Peter mumbled.
“Hey.” You laughed. “Be nice. He’s my friend.”
“I’m sorry. I’m just feeling a little weird that this whole time there was this guy you have whole history with and I didn’t know anything about him until today. I guess I just thought we knew everything about each other.” Peter said without looking you in the eyes.
“You’re right. It is weird. I guess I just never really thought about explicitly telling you about him. He’s just kinda been a passing figure in my stories from my childhood. But you know, you and I have deep history too. So deep that when you and I are together, I’m not thinking about other people I know. I’m only thinking about you and how God damn annoying you are when you ignore my ideas but then magically come up with the exact same one ten minutes later.”
“Because only men are allowed to have good ideas.” Peter laughed now that you had put some of his nerves to rest.
“You’re right. Sorry, sir. I forgot.” You said meekly, making Peter laugh. He was able to relax now that you talked it out but he was still curious.
“So, did you and Harry-“
“Harley.” You corrected.
“Yeah, whatever.” He rolled his eyes. “Did you guys ever date or anything?”
You were quiet for a minute which was exactly what Peter was afraid of. It looked like you were thinking of something, a memory that Peter didn’t have access to but desperately wished he did.
“No. We were only ever friends.” You said finally.
“But did you ever like him? Like, like like him?”
“Like like like?” You teased him.
“You’re avoiding the question.” Peter said without sharing in your laughter. You stopped smiling and shrugged a little.
“I don’t know. I’ve known him a really long time. So yeah, I’m sure there were a few times where I wondered if we were meant to be more than friends. But nothing ever happened between us.”
“Oh.” Peter said curtly and nodded his head. You snuck a glance at Peter but he was looking down so you couldn’t tell what his face was doing.
“Why do you ask?” You wondered.
“I’m just curious since I don’t know anything about the alleged childhood best friend of my young adult best friend.”
“Well don’t be. Because there’s nothing to know.”
“You’ve been friends with him since you were kids but there’s nothing to know? How boring is this guy?” Peter snorted and hoped you’d say he was the least interesting person you knew.
“He’s not boring. You remind me of him a lot, actually. You guys are very similar.”
“Does that mean you’ve ever wondered about us?” Peter asked before he could stop himself. You froze and looked up at Peter who was bright red under his goggles.
“Um…” You began. Before you had a chance to finish that thought, the contents of your beaker exploded and webs shot all over your section of the lab table. You jumped in surprise and Peter ran over to you to pull you away from the explosion. He kept you behind his back as he threw a towel over the smoking beaker to snuff it out.
“Maybe that’s enough lab work for the day.” You said as the smoke alarms began to blare. Peter covered his sensitive ears with his hands and you smiled apologetically before putting your hands on top of his to further block out the noise.
“I have, by the way. I have wondered about us.” You admitted as you looked into his eyes.
“What? What about pus?” Peter shouted over the noise. You smiled tightly and shook your head.
“Nothing. Let’s get out of here.”
A few days later, you and Peter were back in the lab to work on some things. Harley was still visiting, much to Peter’s dismay. But nevertheless, he was grateful to have alone time in the lab with you without any interruptions. That is, of course, until you were interrupted.
“Hey, you.” Harley greeted as he walked into the lab in water another oversized jacket that made him look like the love interest in an 80s movie.
“Hey, you.” You smiled in response while Peter discreetly rolled his eyes.
“Hello Peter.” Harley said with a tight smile.
“Hey, Harry.” Peter replied. Harley caught the intentional misnomer but didn’t say anything.
“Woah. Why does it smell like badussy in here?” Harley grimaced as he sniffed the air.
“Stop.” You groaned. “It does not.”
“What’s badussy?” Peter asked.
“Um, butt, dick and pussy. Obviously.” Harley replied as if Peter should have already known that.
“No. Not obviously. I only know what two thirds of those smell like, so.” Peter shrugged.
“You’re telling me you’ve never walked into a humid public bathroom and it smelled like straight up cooch in there?” You asked Peter.
“Um, no.” Peter stated. “I have not. Men’s public bathrooms usually smell like wide open ass. No notes of cooch.”
“He’s right.” Harley agreed. “Especially New York bathrooms. And there’s usually poop or blood or after birth smeared on the walls.”
Peter stifled a laugh and turned his head when he found it harder than he expected. Harley noticed Peter laughing and smirked.
“It’s okay. You can laugh at my jokes.” Harley told him.
“I wasn’t.” Peter lied and held in another laugh.
“You so were. You guys don’t have to sworn enemies, you know. You’re allowed to be friends.” You told them.
“No we can’t.” Harley shook his head.
“He’s right. Shockingly. We can’t.” Peter agreed.
“Why not? You’re like the helvetica and comic sans version of each other.”
“Who’s comic sans?” Peter asked at the same time Harley said, “I call helvetica.”
“See?” You laughed. “You guys are meant to be friends. So get off your high horses and French kiss each other already.”
“We are so not gonna French kiss.” Peter mumbled.
“Yeah. If I’m French kissing anyone in this room, it’s not gonna be him.” Harley replied. His sentence both flirted with you and took a dig at Peter, giving Harley the upper hand once again.
“She doesn’t want to French kiss anyone. She infamously thinks that’s the grossest form of kissing. I’m surprised you don’t know that. I thought you guys were best friends.” Peter tilted his head to the side just to piss Harley off. Harley took the bait and folded his lips in.
“I’m surprised too. When did she tell you that? Did she mention it while you guys were braiding each other’s hair and making foul smelling potions?” Harley asked and swished the contents of the beaker around.
“First of all, they’re not potions because we’re not Minecraft witches.” Peter snapped. “And secondly, we don’t braid each other’s hair. She gave me one braid one time when my barber actually left a long strand of hair and I wanted a tiny padawan braid.”
“You’re telling me this smoking beaker of green fluid isn’t a potion? What the hell even is this? Fuel for a fart gun?” Harley grimaced and put the beaker down. You laughed at Harley’s questions, sending white hot jealousy through Peter’s veins. He could feel you slipped through his fingers and falling right into Harley’s arms.
“No. Because I’m not a character from Despicable Me, it’s not fuel for a fart gun.” Peter replied and snatched the beaker.
“Then what is it? Don’t tell me you made a love potion to get her to fall for you. Because I hate to tell you this, but it’s not gonna work. No matter how many strands of her hair or fingernail clippings you threw in there.”
“Stop teasing him.” You warned. “It’s a not a love potion or a fart gun. We’re trying to make a web fluid that doubles as a stink bomb in case he needs to make a quick escape.”
“Ew. What the hell is web fluid? And where does it come out?” Harley grimaced and looked Peter up and down.
“For a dollar, I’ll show you.” Peter said with a wink.
“Web fluid is one of Peters many inventions. It helps him swing from building to building.” You explained.
“Oh yeah? Why do you have to make it in a lab? Shouldn’t Spiderman be able to produce his own webs?” Harley asked Peter.
“I don’t know. Shouldn’t you be in school or an AA meeting for skinny jeans or something?” Peter shot back, making you laugh.
“How would it be an AA meeting if it’s for skinny jeans? Wouldn’t that make is skinny jeans anonymous?” Harley pulled apart his joke, making Peter clench his jaw.
“Well I don’t attend the meetings so I’m not sure what they’re called.” Peter shrugged and looked away.
“Right, right. Hey, why don’t you tell him what you said about my skinny jeans?” Harley said to you.
“I said nothing.” You mumbled.
“Come on. Tell him what you said.” Harley laughed and poked your side. Peter watched the interaction and clenched his toes in his shoes.
“What did you say?” Peter asked you, his curiosity getting the better of him.
“I said I liked them because they remind me of the frat boy pictures of Harry and Niall from back in the day, okay? Specifically that picture with the yellow hat and white shirt. Is that what you all wanted to hear? Are you both happy now?”
Peter discreetly punched the table out of frustration because he knew exactly what photo you were talking about. He knew because you had shown it to him when teaching him out the epic high and lows of reading One Direction at a formative age.
“Well she once told me that my outfit reminded her of Alex’s hot Italian boyfriend from Wizards of Waverly Place.” Peter replied in an attempt to level the playing field.
“Dean Moriarty.” You gasped. “He was so fucking hot.”
“Oh yeah. I remember him. We used to watch that show together after school. In my living room. Sharing one blanket.” Harley recalled the memory while looking at Peter to see if that bothered him as much as he hoped.
“Okay well I see your one musty blanket and raise you the time she sat on my lap because there weren’t enough seats in the car. And her pony tail was in my mouth for the whole ride. Sounds like a really comfortable blanket, though. Congrats.”
“Oh my God.” You groaned. “Guys, stop. I can’t listen to you trying to one up each other with what you think are impressive things. I’m friends with both of you and that’s it. I’m not gonna be the yard stick in your dick measuring contest right now.”
“Yard stick?” Harley laughed. “Damn. What type of guys have you been dating?”
“Not you, obviously.” Peter mumbled.
“And why is that obvious?” Harley asked him.
“Because you’re wearing the Bella Hadid of skinny jeans right now and they don’t leave much to the imagination.” Peter shrugged. You shot him a look but he wasn’t backing down.
“I don’t even know what that means.” Harley snorted.
“It means your jeans are really tight, Keen.” You whispered to him. A smile tugged at Harley’s lips over the nickname and he took that as an opportunity to wrap his arm around your shoulders.
“Sorry. You know I’m not great with pop culture references. I’m more into the classics.”
“You literally just mentioned frat Harry and Niall but okay.” Peter mumbled under his breath.
“Stop fighting.” You warned. “This weird little competition you have going on it stupid and unnecessary. I want you guys to be friends. Then we can all hang out.”
“We can never be friends, Sands.” Harley told you.
“Yeah. That was the second time the broken clock was right.” Peter agreed. “Because he’s Gale and I’m Peeta. He’s Jacob and I’m Edward. He’s Jesse and I’m Jake. He’s Tom Hardy and I’m Chris Pine in that movie we watched where they’re both spies and fall in love with Reese Witherspoon.”
“This Means War.” You snapped your fingers when you remember the name of the movie he was talking about.
“Hold on. I’m pretty sure you made yourself the guy who gets the girl in all those examples.” Harley pointed out.
“And I’m pretty sure you 100% understand pop culture references so I’m not sure why you lied a minute ago.” Peter replied.
“If you’re gonna keep this up I’m leaving.” You told them.
“Fine. We’ll stop. But if you’re not too busy with this web stuff, I could use your help with a song.”
“You sing?” Peter sighed in defeat. He had hoped Harley was just the water boy or something for the band he was in.
“A little.” Harley shrugged.
“He’s being modest.” You insisted. “Harley has a great voice. And he plays the guitar. You should come with me the next time his band has a show. He’s the frontman.
“Jesus Christ. Of course he’s the frontman. Do you ride a motorcycle too?” Peter asked mockingly.
“Yes, actually.” Harley replied. He had Peter beat in the cool bad boy department and they both knew it.
“Did you bring it?” You gasped and squeezed Harley’s arm.
“I did. You want to take a ride and go get some food?” He asked you.
“Yeah. Sure.” You smiled excitedly.
“You’re leaving?” Peter huffed like a little kid.
“You should come.” You replied. “You haven’t eaten yet. And we can show Harley around the neighborhood.”
“No, thank you. I need to finish this. By myself.” Peter grumbled as he stared daggers at Harley. Harley just smirked and gave Peter a shrug that said “better luck next time”.
“While you straddle a guitar players bike.” Peter mumbled under his breath.
“What was that?” You asked him.
“I said I hope the weather stays nice.” Peter lied through an exaggerated smile.
Peter tried to stay busy in the lab for a while but he couldn’t stop thinking about what you and Harley were doing. Your conversation did little to ease his mind about your history with Harley so now all he could think of was the worst case scenario. The image of you getting whisked away on the back of Harley’s bike with your arms wrapped around his waist was playing in Peter’s mind no matter how hard he wanted to push it out. You were probably laughing at all his jokes and leaning into his side at some restaurant. To clear his head, Peter went for a walk to clear his head. When he came back, he heard the sound of a guitar coming from your bedroom. His curiosity got the better of him and he went to your room to see what was happening. When he pushed your door open, he saw you and Harley sitting on your bed while the played the guitar for you.
“Oh. Sorry. Sorry to myself that I had to hear that. Wait, what? Sorry, what did you guys say?” Peter played dumb and looked between the two of you.
“We didn’t say anything.” You laughed and knew exactly what he was doing.
“I was just playing Y/n the song I wrote for her.” Harley told him.
“You wrote her a song? Well isn’t that just peaches and cream?” Peter smiled tightly.
“Yeah. Would you like it hear it?” Harley smiled innocently and strummed a few chords.
“It’s really good.” You said. “It’s about our friendship and always being there for each other despite living in different places.”
“Sounds really magical and effervescent. Didn’t realize your cycles synced up.” Peter said quickly but you still caught what he said.
“What was that?” You asked him.
“I said I would love to hear it so bad.” Peter lied. Harley started to play the beginning of the song but slowly stopped playing and cleared his throat.
“What’s wrong, Keen?” You asked, making Peter roll his eyes.
“I’m feeling shy all the sudden.” He laughed shyly.
“Really? Because of me?” Peter asked. “I thought you’d be used to singing to men. Because that’s who I assume is your target audience giving all the pins on your guitar strap.”
“No. Because of you, actually.” He admitted to you. “I haven’t played you the second chorus yet. And it’s pretty vulnerable.”
“Well, let me hear it.”
“Yeah. Let’s hear it. Let’s all hear it.” Peter said to remind you both that he was there. Harley smiled timidly at you before starting to play the song again.
“Though we’re miles apart, you’re still in my heart. Fought with paper swords when we were kids. I wish we still did.“ He sang in a smooth voice that even Peter had to admit was good. You looked utterly in love and rested your chin on your knee as you listened to him sing to you.
“The ribbons in your hair, playing truth or dare. We grew up too soon. Cause now I miss you.” Harley continued singing and you covered your face with your hands to hide your smile. Peter couldn’t take it anymore and felt himself losing the urge to interject.
“Do you guys ever think about how mozzarella sticks-“
“Peter! Shh.” You hushed Peter and quickly returned your attention to Harley.
“Now I live in a different city. I saw online that you’re still pretty. I text and ask how you’ve been. You send back Checkers but never win. I wish things didn’t have to change. Like when you went to a school far away. You came home but we were never as we were. I love you now but I sometimes miss her.” Harley slowly stopped strumming the strings and looked at you with a shy smile. You gasped and clapped your hands for him while he blushed a deep red.
“Sorry. I know it’s cheesy.” He said. “It’s about missing how close we were when we were kids. I know we still talk but it’s not the same. We catch up every now and then but I miss when I knew about every thing about your day.”
“That’s really sweet, Keen. We should talk more. Because I miss our friendship too.” You said and squeezed his shoulder. Harley smiled and toyed with his guitar.
“Peter, what did you think of…” You trailed off when you realized Peter wasn’t there anymore. You immediately felt guilty because you weren’t sure when he left.
“Damn it.” You hissed. “I gotta go talk to him.”
“No. Let me.” Harley said and put his guitar down. He walked down the hallway until he found Peter’s room and knocked on the doorway.
“Hey.” Harley greeted. Peter looked up at him and rolled his eyes.
“If you’re here to sing to me-“
“I’m not. I want to talk to you.” Harley cut him off and went and sat on his bed. They sat in awkward silence for a moment as neither knew where to begin.
“You know, if you and I keep this rivalry up, we’re only going to hurt her.” Harley said after a minute.
“I know that.” Peter said quietly.
“Look, Peter, you seem like a nice guy. I can tell why she likes you. And she obviously really enjoys your friendship. But that’s all that’s ever gonna happen between you two. A friendship. Because I’ve been playing the long game.” Harley said earnestly. He wasn’t trying to be mean or hurt Peter, just being candid.
“So have I.” Peter told him.
“And how’s that going for you?” Harley asked with genuine curiosity.
“I’ll have you know I accidentally brushed against her boob once and she didn’t even bat an eye, so.” Peter shrugged like what he said mattered.
“Yeah?” Harley laughed. “We’ve kissed.”
Peters world came crashing down in that moment. He felt a hot rod of jealousy pierce his heart and cut him straight down the middle upon learning this.
“What?” He asked with a dry mouth.
“I was her first kiss. She didn’t tell you?”
“No. She never mentioned that.”
“Peter, I didn’t come in here to hurt you.” Harley began. “I just wanted to let you know what my intentions are. I came back to New York for her. I think it’s finally time she and I give it a go. And I think she feels it too. But I hope that you and I can put this aside and become friends. Because I genuinely think we’d get along.”
“If you and her start dating, there is no way we’re gonna be friends.” Peter said without making eye contact.
“Why not?” Harley asked, sounding a little hurt.
“Because I’m gonna kill myself.” Peter snapped, making Harley laugh in surprise. Peter couldn’t help but laugh too when he heard how ridiculous he sounded.
“I hope you don’t. Because she’d miss you. And I would too.” Harley told him. The boys looked at each other for a moment and ending up smiling. Peter felt his animosity towards Harley dissipate and realized they were just two boys who liked the same girl. And on top of that, Peter couldn’t blame him for liking you. How could he not?
“Please don’t.” Peter blurted.
“Don’t what?” Harley wondered.
“Don’t go for her. You’re so handsome. Like, in your face, Greys Anatomy doctor level handsome. You have the bike and the guitar and the floppy hair. You could go out and get any girl. I will even help you find one. But please, don’t go for her. Because I can’t compete with you. I can’t write her a song like that. I tried to write her a poem once but I was too scared to give it to her.” Peter said as he pulled out his notebook to show Harley his poem. Harley read over the poem a few times as his eyebrows knit together.
“You rhymed “go the movies” with “the shape of your boobies”. Two separate times but they’re completely different trains of thought. I’m not even sure how you did that. This stanza just says “perchance.” You can’t just say “perchance”. And this line is just a lyric from Pound the Alarm.”
“Do you see why I need you to back off?” Peter sighed and took the notebook back.
“You don’t think I feel the same way? I can’t compete with you either. You get her in a weird way that I never could. I see the way she laughs at your jokes. And relaxes around you. She and I have shared history but sometimes I wonder if we’re just rehashing the good memories and never making any new ones. If she and I met today, I don’t know if she’d like me. But you two formed an organic friendship. There’s no wondering whether or not she likes you or just likes the nostalgia. And I know she adores you. She tells me about you all the time. I know every story of every person you’ve ever saved. But she loves the regular side of you too. She once told me about this time you got your finger stuck in a park bench and she was laughing so hard during it that I didn’t even hear half the story. Her real laugh, too. The one where her head falls back and she kinda wheezes. I haven’t been able to make her laugh like that since we were kids.”
“Okay unfortunately you’re right and I actually do want to be friends with you.” Peter said after hearing Harley be vulnerable with him. Harley chuckled and Peter found himself laughing too.
“Let’s just promise that whoever she chooses, the other backs off and lets her be happy. She deserves that.” Harley said and Peter nodded in agreement.
“If it’s you, you better treat her right.” Peter told him.
“Or what? You’ll shoot me with your fart gun?” Harley joked.
“Yeah. Exactly.” Peter laughed.
“I’ll take care of her. You would too. I know that.” Harley said once their laughter died down.
“I’m glad you know. But I’m not worried. She knows where home is. Sooner or later, she’ll stop eating shrimps with the wimps and come eat lobster with the monster.” Peter shrugged and gestured to himself.
“I don’t even understand what that-“
“Me either.” Peter cut him off.
After their talk, Harley went back to your room and found you playing with his guitar. You looked up at him when he walked in and smiled.
“Hey.” He said and sat back down beside you.
“Hey. I think I still remember how to play Hey There Delilah on the guitar.” You told him and gave a bad attempt at playing the chords.
“Do you?” Harley asked skeptically and you laughed.
“I guess not. How’s Peter?” You asked and set the guitar down.
“He’s fine. I don’t think he liked my song, through.” Harley joked.
“It’s okay. I liked it.” You replied and gave him a fold smile. Harley smiled back and took your hand in his. You gulped at the contact because you felt something was coming.
“I really do miss you.” He told you.
“Miss you too, Keen. You should visit more.”
“I know. But you need to give me a really good excuse to come up here because I’m not a fan of the flight.”
“What kind of excuse?” You smiled nervously. To answer your question, Harley slipped a hand behind your head and started to pull you into a kiss. Before your lips could touch, you turned away and hung your head so that you didn’t have to see his face.
“I can’t.” You said quietly. Harley withdrew his hand and put them on his lap.
“Because of him?” He asked and you nodded your head. Harley laughed shortly and nodded as well.
“I get it. I’ve seen the way you two look at each other. But I have to admit, I always thought you and I would just go for it one day.”
“So did I.” You admitted.
“So why can’t we just…” He trailed off and gestured between the two of you. You finally looked into his eyes and gave him an apologetic smile.
“Because I’d always wonder about him.” You answered. Harley smiled sadly but nodded in understanding.
“Can we still be friends?” He asked you.
“Are you kidding? Of course we can. This doesn’t haven’t to change anything.”
“Good. Because I don’t have anyone else to play IMessage games with.”
“I’m sending Checkers right now. And winning.” You said as you pulled out your phone.
“We’ll see.” He laughed.
Peter slept at home that night in fear of hearing the sounds of you and Harley consummating your new relationship. He put his earbuds in and listened to his sad boy tunes and cried until he fell asleep. He got up the next day with puffy eyes and got dressed to prepare himself in case you wanted to see him. Just as he was getting up to leave him bedroom, you appeared in his doorway. He jumped a little and sat back down on his bed.
“Hey. I thought I’d see you last night.” You said and folded your arms.
“Yeah, sorry. I needed to come home and clear my head.” He said without looking at you.
“Oh, okay. Is it anything you want to talk about?”
“Not particularly, no.” He replied. You have Peter a look up and down and let out an amused laugh.
“What?” He wondered.
“You’re wearing skinny jeans.” You pointed out with a cheeky smile.
“Psht. No.” He scoffed. “These are regular jeans.”
“Those are absolutely your skinny jeans from when we went as Kurt and Blaine for Halloween. And you didn’t gel your hair today. Oh my God. You’re trying to look like Harley.”
“I am not.” He lied but upon looking in the mirror, he realized he had definitely channeled Harley when getting dressed.
“You are. Which I don’t understand. I like your gelled hair and dorky t shirts. Why are you trying to be someone else?” You asked as you sat beside him on his bed.
“I don’t know.” He lied again because he couldn’t tell you that he was trying to look like the boy you liked.
“Harley said he talked to you yesterday after he played his song.” You said to change the subject.
“Yeah. We talked. He mentioned that you guys kissed.” Peter admitted without looking up at you.
“Yeah. We did.” You nodded. Peter clenched his eyes shut at you confirmed it and hung his head.
“I didn’t know that.” He said quietly.
“Because it was so awkward that I never tell anyone. We were like 11 or something and acting in a very poorly rehearsed summer camp rendition of Grease. I was Sandy and he was Danny. But my dad brought all his business man friends to come see me and I got so nervous I threw up during Hopelessly Devoted.”
“Oh.” Peter couldn’t help but smile now that he knew the kiss was nothing to worry about.
“Yeah. You feel stupid now, don’t you? You got all worked up over a peck between two 11 year olds.”You teased him and poked his aide.
“I may feel stupid but at least I wasn’t a theater kid.” He mumbled.
“Hey.” You said warningly and smacked his arm.
“Sorry.” He chuckled and rubbed his arm.
“So are we okay?” You asked him and turned to face him.
“I don’t know. Is your boyfriend gonna be okay with us staying friends?” Peter asked with a roll of his eyes.
“Well I don’t know either. Since I don’t have a boyfriend.”
“You don’t?” Peter asked as hope grew in his chest.
“Peter, I don’t like Harley like that.” You insisted. “I told you that.”
“I thought you were capping.” He shrugged.
“I wasn’t.” You chuckled. “He’s not the one I like.”
“So you do like someone? Who is he? Is he bigger than me?” Peter asked with his jealously coming back with full force.
“Oh my God. You’re honestly so annoying.” You groaned and wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him into a kiss. Peter wasn’t expecting this so he froze for a moment before kissing you back. He’d been waiting a long time for this so he wrapped his arms around your waist to pull you close and full enjoy the moment. When you pulled away, you both laughed shyly and rested your foreheads together.
“Was that just as friends or…” Peter trailed off and looked at you for answers.
“Uh huh. Yeah. That was a friendship kiss.” You replied sarcastically before pulling him back in.
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#peter parker x reader#peter parker jealous#peter parker fluff#harley keener x reader#peter parker imagine#peter parker angst#peter parker fanfiction#peter parker x stark!daughter#peter parker x stark!reader#peter parker x you#peter parker x y/n#tom holland x reader#tom holland x you#tom holland fluff#tom holland fanfiction#tom holland x y/n
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told y'all i was gonna draw this
#ned leeds#harley keener#tony stark#but as a cookie#peter parker#ned leeds x peter parker#peter x ned#erinwantstowrite#ao3#ao3 fanfic#leap of faith ao3#leap of faith catch me if you can#leap of faith#cookie
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Dear parents,
Just because your child is smiling at their phone doesn't mean they have a boyfriend/girlfriend. Maybe they're just looking at pictures of irondad
#iron dad#marvel#tony stark#peter parker#morgan stark#harley keener#dum e#spider son#avengers#iron man#spider man#mcu#iron man 3#avengers endgame#spider man homecoming
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Tony: Why did you get here so late?
Harley: Well…
Peter: We were in the elevator for fifteen minutes panicking thinking we were stuck
Harley: Only to find out that neither of us pushed the button.
#incorrect quotes#incorrect avengers#incorrect marvel#tony stark#iron man#peter parker#spider man#Spider-Man#spiderman#harley keener#source: incorrect quotes ideas
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Peter: How does one turn their emotions off?
Harley: Okay, so first go to settings.
Harley: I'm a fucking idiot, I thought that said emojis at first.
Peter: No, I'm still willing to try this, go ahead. I'm at settings, what do I do next?
#marvel incorrect quotes#incorrect marvel quotes#marvel cinematic universe#marvel#marvel mcu#mcu incorrect quotes#incorrect mcu quotes#mcu#peter#peter parker#incorrect peter parker#spiderlad#spiderman#incorrect spiderman quotes#spider man#harley#harley keener
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Peter Parker: (works longer than agreed upon)
Tony Stark: GeT oUT your TimE iS oVEr!!!
#incorrect marvel quotes#incorrect mcu quotes#marvel#peter parker#mcufam#i can literally see his empty face in front of me#harley keener#iron man#tony stark#tony stark quotes#spider non of the tags i’m finding have the hyphen man#spoderman#spider there is a hyphen man#spider man
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Tony: what is E=MC²
Peter: Energy= Monster × Coffee
Harley: Energy= maraujana × coke
#Harley gets it from Tony#not literally#Tony doesn't supply him with drugs#hopefully#maybe#probably#tony stark#harley keener#peter parker#marvel#mcu#marvel cinematic universe#incorrect mcu quotes#incorrect mcu#marvel incorrect quotes#incorrect quotes
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No, because what were the odds that Tony ended up having three separate kids (Harley, Peter, and Morgan), but none of them met until AFTER Tony's death?
Damn it, Marvel, you wasted a perfectly good concept for a movie or spin-off series.
Harley and Peter being jealous of each other initially but then becoming best friends after figuring their shit out?
Peter showing Harley around NYC for the first time, once as Peter and once as Spider Man?
Peter freaking out when Tony and Pepper announce that they're expecting because he's never been an older sibling and Harley coming through with that older-sibling advice?
Harley and Peter trying to explain the importance of secret identities to this literal child who just wants her juice pops, please?
And all those babysitting adventures?
*sighs*
You screwed the pooch, Marvel.
#tony stark#iron man#iron dad#peter parker#spiderman#spiderson#harley keener#morgan stark#pepper potts#irondad and spiderson#marvel#mcu#marvel mcu#avengers
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Don't think about Peter seeing a strange sad kid around his age at his mentor's funeral. Don't think about Peter summoning his inner spiderman even in one of the lowest points of his life and walking over to the boy. Because that's what heros do, they help people.
Don't think about Peter trying to make idle conversation by asking how he knew Tony, expecting something similar to his situation. Well, not the secret superhero and avengers thing, but that he was one of Starks interns or assistants or something like that.
Maybe do think about Harley wiping a sniffly nose and telling the kind boy his story, the story of The Mechanic who taught him to stand up for himself, the Super Hero who saved him from the weird exploding bomb guys, and Tony. The man who had panic attacks and PTSD over New York. The man who gave a 11 year old a lesser version of a flash grenade to let him stay the night in his barn. The man who turned said barn into his personal wonderland once he left. And the man who kept in touch with him over the years through letters and phone calls and maybe an occasional facetime.
Think about Peter letting out a wet chuckle and wiping his teared up eyes at the story. “That sounds like Mr. Stark.” He would say as the boys exchanged stories of the acclaimed “Iron Man.”
Think about Stark's two smartest not-technically-technically-kids bonding over the memory's of Tony, the real Tony. The Tony who set up a STEM lab for Harley, the Tony who grounded Peter because he got a little too close to dangers edge, who saw a little too much of himself in those boys.
The Tony who helped spark both their dreams and fed the fire until he died. And even in death, he's their Hero. He always will be. Maybe do think about that. Think about the Starks, biological or not.
#tony stark#peter parker#irondad and spiderson#iron man#marvel mcu#mcu#marvel#spider man#spiderman#irondad#harley keener#Harley Keener and Tony Stark#tom holland spiderman#iron family
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TONY: Stephen and I--
PETER: Are getting married?
STEPHEN: No, we--
HARLEY, PULLING OUT A GIANT BINDER: Sit down. We've planned out the entire thing.
#can you tell where my ship loyalty lies#ironstrange#supreme family#Tony Stark#stephen strange#peter parker#harley keener#spiderman#iron man#doctor strange#incorrect avengers#incorrect avengers quotes#incorrect quotes#incorrect marvel quotes#incorrect mcu quotes#marvel#mcu#avengers infinity war#avengers endgame#avengers
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Peter, Tony, and Harley are playing poker. Harley is winning
Tony: Aw, come on.
Peter: It’s not fair! They don’t even know what we’re playing!
Harley: Go Fish?
#.thewrittenpodcast#source: incorrect quotes generator#incorrect marvel quotes#iron man#marvel incorrect quotes#marvel mcu#incorrect irondad and spiderson#incorrect quotes#irondad and spideyson#mcu#mcu avengers#tony stark mcu#iron man mcu#incorrect iron man#iron man movies#harley keener#peter parker#mcu peter parker#mcu harley keener#spider man#spiderman#irondad and spiderson#irondad#mcu marvel avengers#marvel#mcu incorrect quotes#incorrect avengers#incorrect avengers quotes#the avengers#incorrect spiderman quotes
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tony’s been dreaming of the day peter and harley meet, because he just knows they’ll get on like a house on fire.
he, however, certainly doesn’t expect their first meeting to be them getting kidnapped together, over 900 miles apart. he also doesn’t expect the frantic phone call he gets two sleepless days later, from their kidnapper, begging him to please come get the kids because they’re so fucking irritating.
#they walk out of wherever they were being held with HUGE SMILES#holding hands#and going: hey mr stark/tony!! this is my new best friend.#the kidnappers hand themselves over they’re so done#prompt#spider-man#irondad#spiderson#peter parker#tony stark#peter and harley#harley keener and peter parker#harley keener#harley x peter#parkner#marvel#mcu#peter x harley#tony and harley
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Tony’s only taller than one of his sons and I know he’s pissed about it
#tony stark#avengers#iron man#marvel#peter parker#spider man#harley keener#rdj#ty simpkins#tom holland
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