Dont be shy to leave an ask/request!!Mad-E/Mac | 18 | All pronouns are fine My mcu blog. No hate please, no kid x adult ships either. Stay a while and remember to drink water and eat foods. You can't do photosynthesis loves
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The people in the top three spots on Forbes' billionaire list—Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, and Mark Zuckerberg—will have prime seats at President-elect Trump's inauguration next week. NBC News, citing "an official involved with the planning of the event," reports that the three tech billionaires will be sitting together on the platform with other high-profile guests, including Trump's Cabinet nominees. Bezos and Zuckerberg's companies, Amazon and Meta, have each donated $1 million to the inauguration, while Musk spent more than $250 million to help Trump win the election, reports Reuters.
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Euphemia Potter the woman you are
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Guys I am NOT cooking, the charaters have taken over the kitchen and now its on fire.
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to the people who are following me
thank you
im sorry
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tumblr friendships are hard to maintain like im sorry i know i havent talked to you in 5 months but you’re still super rad and i still consider us friends im just dumb
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sometimes i think i’d make a great villain. not for crime. just for the monologue opportunities. like imagine me yelling "THE CITY IS MINE" just for fun
#spiderman#spider man#marvel spiderman#marvel#marvel mcu#peter parker#spider speaking#marvel cinematic universe#mcu
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Steve: So does anyone have any healthy stress outlets?
Tony: Screaming.
Natasha: Violence.
Bruce: Tea.
Clint: Also violence.
Steve: …Okay, so we’ve got tea.
#steve rogers incorrect quotes#captain america#tony stark#tony stark incorrect quotes#iron man#natasha romanoff incorrect quotes#natasha romanoff#steve rogers#bruce banner#clint barton#hulk#bruce banner incorrect quotes#clint barton incorrect quotes#hawkeye#marvel#avengers#avengers incorrect quotes#black widow#marvel incorrect quotes#source: tumblr
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recent Events have made me realise that even if the Winter Soldier was captured it's totally plausible that the public would not know that he is Bucky Barnes because the cops would take one look at his mugshots and be like 'fuck, we can't release these, he's way too handsome and sad-looking.'
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Marvel Meow #21
Bucky’s vacation = staying at home and sleeping all day
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Tony having a list of habits of the avengers that annoy him yet also altering the entirety of the compound to meet those habits.
Tony: You realize how annoying it is to have you in my vents?? Just let me breathe my 5 million dollar air in peace
Also Tony installing a proper scanner which doesn't ring any alarms if Barton is in the vents but instead just makes in a video compilation of each time he falls.
Tony: Thor I swear to the Gods. If you take one more Pop tart from me I wil-
Also Tony bulge buying Pop tarts for every time Thor visits.
Tony: Cap how do you not kn- No being frozen for 80 years is no excuse. This is vital part of history, No I don't care that it's "just a show" this changed lives
Also Tony installing a "Cap is confused again" Protocol on FRIDAY for each time there's anything Steve doesn't understand which might be basic knowledge to everyone else so FRIDAY can give him a summary of it all.
Tony: Nat you need to stop hiding weapons everywhere. I can't be going around finding machetes in the compound!
Also Tony providing her as much space she needs for her weapons in each room if that's what she needs to feel safe.
Tony: No! No magic. Wanda you go through my head again and I swear you'll regret it. My therapist quit, you think you can handle it? Nuh uh this is a magic free household young lady.
Also Tony installing a whole new simulation based training room so she can practice her magic properly.
Tony: Bucky, I know I'm rich but can you please stop crushing my equipment and cups
Also Tony very gently talking to Bucky about everything he is doing step by step as he checks up Bucky's arm. Giving him his own room with open windows so he doesn't feel trapped with every bit of little hobby he might pick up from knitting to painting to playing the piano. A bookshelf with the entire limited edition of The Hobbit and every 40s music he might like. And some more recent songs in case he decides to "stop being old".
Tony: Strange I need you to stop doing that shit. I understand you're a wizard but don't they have rules for that? Like no magic outside of Hogwarts until you're 17? None of that weird stuff in the tower... ever.
Also Tony creating a special meditating room for Stephen with Pink Floyd playing where he can just calm down for a while in the tower and somehow a room in the mirror dimension when he really wants peace and quiet.
Tony: Vision I know you're an AI who is very interested in human nature and I am flattered but I swear if I hear one more explosion because you tried to learn knitting or the piano I will find an off switch whether or not you have one.
Also Tony making every single hobby Vision wants to pick up possible in the best way. Providing him his own kitchen to getting him a piano teacher because he wanted to experience "learning by being taught"
Tony: Banner I get that you have everything under control which is great but my lab is not big enough for The Hulk
Also Tony making his lab big enough. Getting him his own lab. Making sure he had everything he needed to calm down when he couldn't control the Hulk. Labeling him as the "strongest avenger". Getting him a therapist. Making sure he never feels alone yet always has peace
Tony: Rhodey you need to understand that when I say I'm fine I'm fine. You act like such a party pooper you know that?
Also Tony who trusts Rhodey with his life and everything. Making sure Rhodey never feels lesser than. Who couldn't be more grateful that Rhodey stuck by him throughout everything and always stayed. Tony always turning to him for advice and no matter how much he acts like Rhodey is being a bummer always takes his words to heart.
Tony: Peter.... Don't walk on the ceiling! Oh my God don't die! What the hell kid please don't explode your homework again! Your aunt is going to KILL me! You mess with the suit again and I- No , you can't borrow my suit what do you mean? I told you to stay back, tell me what you interpreted that as? No the adults are talking.
Also Tony doing everything that kid wants no matter what. Making sure his suit is so safe that he might as well be immortal. Buying him everything he even remotely suggests to liking. He has his own room in the tower cause of all the time he spends in the labs.
"You want to test out this new thing with your webs but it requires this extremely expensive and toxic chemical? As long as you wear proper protection!"
"you said you had to write about a famous place you went to but since you haven't travelled much you were gonna write about the Stark exhibition or times square.....So I got you these world tour tickets. I think they hit every landmark , just message me the ones they don't and I'll handle it. And don't worry there are two so your aunt can go with you"
#tony stark has a heart#marvel#marvel headcanons#iron dad spiderson#natasha romanoff#spiderman#steve rogers#iron dad and spider son#clint barton#vision#Thor#wanda maximoff#bucky barnes#stephen strange#dr banner#Avengers#rhodey rhodes#iron man#the avengers#tony stark is a good friend#tony stark#not mine !!
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Peter has surely been through multiple injuries. It’s whether the Avengers know it or not. If they don’t, well it’s just one of the major bombs he drops on them and walks off casually.
Like a simple “Oh you know a building fell on me before?” Or a “I nearly got killed by a train before!” And cue everyone being shocked and then he walks away or change the subject so easily the avengers didn’t even realise
I can imagine him also always saying “Been there, done that” whenever a villain reveal their ‘grand’ scheme but he has already experienced that pain and he’s not amused yet not happy either
Villain planning to get superhumans such as himself and Steve to experiment on and clone them for some army to take over the world.
Peter simply scoffs and everyone looks at him, wondering his reaction. Peter, noticing the looks are looking at them weirdly in return too.
Peter: What?
Tony: Why’d you scoff
Peter: Is it abnormal to?
Tony, shaking his head: No, it’s like you’re unamused by his scheme
Peter, nodding with a smile tugging onto his lips: Oh yeah. Someone tried that before, mr villain! You’re not the original! I saw it firsthand!
The villain is disheartened and maybe distraught. The avengers are looking him wide-eyed in terror and Tony immediately pulls the “We’re discussing that later” card and they beat the villain’s ass
Though it doesn’t have to be a bad guy’s scheme all the time.
Clint, having fell from 20 stories and just finished surgery, lying on the medbay bed with a smug smile that shouldn’t be on at the first place: I hold the highest record!
Everyone is either unamused or sighs. Peter on the other hand:
Peter, not knowing what he’s about to say will crush Clint’s soul and adding it innocently: Oh I dropped down 24 floors before! Does that mean I hold the highest record instead?
Tony, eyes and mouth wide in shock and severely concerned, remembering that Peter hates hospitals and he probably didn’t have surgery after that fall: You WHAT?!
Clint, getting up and wanting to go to the nearest window to get the highest record: Someone take this needles off me, I need to jump off right now. It’s the 40th floor so I will win if I survive
Natasha, holding him down: Friday, lockdown the building and forbid Clint from going out of said building.
#marvel#marvel universe#peter parker#marvel headcanons#tony stark#iron man#irondad and spiderson#clint barton#hawkeye#natasha romanoff#black widow#captain america#steve rogers#hulk#bruce banner#spiderman#thor odinson#the avengers#not mine !!
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You know In the captain America civil war fight where Steve and Peter are talking.
Steve: look Kid, there's a lot going on here that you don't understand, I think your on the wrong side.
Tony: are you trying to recruit MY backup?
Peter: daAAAAAD IM SCARED-
#tony stark#peter parker#mcu marvel avengers#iron man#irondad and spider son#iron dad#irondad fic prompts#irondad things#irondad and spiderson#irondad#captain america#spiderman#not mine !!
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Part 3 of if Civil War didn't end in divorce and everyone lived together
Part 1 Part 2
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Mission debrief:
Thor: Don't feel bad Banner, I mean is there anyone at this table who hasn't killed somebody?
Peter: *slowly raises hand*
Natasha: Don't worry you're still young
Peter: 😟
-
Steve: Has anyone seen my shield?
Clint: *points outside*
*Peter, Thor, and Bucky playing frisbee with it*
Steve: I guess I'm not saving those orphans today :/
-
Clint: Tony I said seedless watermelon, are you trying to kill me?
Tony: You're a big boy, you aren't gonna choke
Clint: No but it might... grow
Tony: Oh please don't tell me you still think watermelon seeds grow inside your stomach if you swallow them
Clint:
Pietro: Bro got a licence to kill but still has a Jack and the Beanstock level of education
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2:34 am
Tony: *leaving Steve's bedroom*
Sam: *leaving Bucky's bedroom*
Tony:
Sam:
Tony: Let's never speak of this?
Sam: Yep.
-
Steve: Tony, you're the smartest person I know. You understand anything you set out to study, your passion is remarkable, innovation beyond anyone on the planet, and an incredible memory
Tony: Thank you thank you
Steve: So why do you STILL NOT CLOSE THE KITCHEN CABINETS
Tony: Uh
Steve: SOME OF US ARE TALL TONY. SOME OF US HAVE BRUISES ON THEIR FOREHEADS BECAUSE OF THIS NEGLIGENCE
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Tony: Goodnight kid *tucks Peter into bed and kisses his forehead*
*Clint, Vision, Thor, and Dum-E waiting outside the room*
Tony: Oh come on. All of you?
*nodding*
Tony: Vision you don't even sleep. Dum-E I am not kissing you again you gave me chemical burns last time
Dum-E: *lowers head and whirs sadly*
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Bucky: Don't sit so close to me
Sam: Why, cause I'm black 🤨
Bucky: No because you smell like ass sweat
Sam:
Sam: Why, cause I'm bl-
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During training:
Natasha: *flips Steve and slams him onto his back*
Peter: Woah! I wanna know how to do that
Natasha: *flips Peter and slams him onto his back*
Natasha: Seems like you already know how
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Tony: Okay Merida, you and me, darts for a hundred bucks. My suit vs. your freak self
Clint: I'll take that bet
*7 minutes later*
Tony: I have advanced AI targetting technology. SUPER. SUIT. How did I lose?!
Clint: It can do a lot of things Tony but at the end of the day it can't super suck this di-
-
Bucky: Sam's in medical so I'll do the mission debrief with you
Natasha: That was fast, I thought you'd still be coddling your boyfriend the rest of the day
Bucky: What. How do you know about us.
Natasha: I don't, it was a joke...
Bucky:
Natasha:
Bucky: Damn you really are good at interrogation
-
Bruce: I've taken up puzzles as a hobby. It's actually really relaxing
*Box is missing the last piece*
Bruce: *sighs, erases the 61 under the 'Days Without Hulk Incident' sign*
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Natasha: Kings
Bucky: Go fish. Sevens?
Natasha: Nada. Fives?
Bucky: Shit. Here
Sam: I thought y'all were playing poker, are you for real playing Go Fish?
Natasha: Our pockets got cleaned out so we quit. The poker game is over by Steve
Peter: HAHA SUCK IT OLD MAN, AMERICA JUST WENT BANKRUPT *pulls giant pile of animal crackers to himself*
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Steve: Do you want to play catch?
Wanda: What?
Steve: Um. Do you want to watch Hannah Montana?
Wanda: I don't even know what you're talking about
Steve: Maybe I could show you how to brush your teeth?
Wanda: Steve you're really scaring me
Steve: The article said to do it together! *shows phone*
Wanda: Are you getting parenting advice from wikihow? Did you even read it or were you just skimming the pictures
Steve: ...Well why'd they put toothbrushing in the photo if it wasn't a good bonding activity?
-
Sam: Why are your titties so bouncy man. Is it to deflect bullets?
Steve: What did you just say about my chest...
Sam: Hey I call em as I see em, and they're staring right at me.
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Peter: Yo Mr. Stark wanna see a backflip?
Peter: Oh Cap come see my front handsprings
Peter: Natasha watch this aerial cartwheel!
Tony: Why did you tell him you were in the circus. Now that the idea's in his head all he does is jump around and cause noise complaints from downstairs
Clint: C'mon it's cute! He's talented
Bucky: I'm gonna tell him it doesn't count because he has superpowers and that he's a cheat
Tony: But that'll ruin his confidence
Bucky: God I hope so
#incorrect mcu quotes#marvel mcu#marvel#irondad and spiderson#incorrect quotes#peter parker#tony stark#irondad#steve rogers#mcu#bucky barnes#thor#clint barton#sam wilson#bruce banner#natasha romanoff#wanda maximoff#domestic avengers#the avengers#avengers#marvel incorrect quotes#pietro maximoff#stevetony#thor odinson#incorrect marvel#incorrect marvel quotes#stony#sambucky#not mine !!
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Tony: Have you ever considered TRYING to be careful when you're spider-Manning?
Peter: Life's too short for careful.
Tony: Life's even shorter without careful, kid! Drunk Spider-Manning? Really?
Peter: You once entertained party guests by doning your armor and shooting glasses they threw in the air.
Tony:
Peter:
Tony: This is one of those do as I say not as I do moments.
Peter:
Tony:
Peter: I regret nothing.
Tony: I'm telling Pepper.
Peter: I'm going to my room to think about my actions and thoroughly repent.
Tony: There's some good use of your Spidey-sense.
#irondad and spiderson#spider son#spiderman#incorrect marvel quotes#tony stark#pepper potts#iron man#tony stark incorrect quotes#iron dad#peter parker#mcu fandom#not mine !!
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Peter, talking to Ned as they walk into the tower: and that’s how I almost died!
Tony: excuse me?
Steve: who and where?
Bruce: No one’s going to get away with that one, need me to send the other guy?
Clint, coming down from the vents: I can take care of them.
Peter, confused: I was just telling Ned about the time a building fell on me.
Ned: Yup!
Tony, Steve, Bruce, and Clint: WHAT?
#iron man#spiderman#irondad and spiderson#tony stark#iron dad#marvel#peter parker needs a hug#peter parker#incorrect marvel quotes#steve rogers#captain america#clint barton#tom holland spiderman#bruce banner#hulk#hawkeye#ned leeds#tags are hard#not mine !!
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Sassy Peter is a MENACE.
not only is he a menace he's also a spitting image of Tony when he was younger.
No.
Not his playboy days, or his snarky remark days.
The days where Tony would ramble on like the nerdy scientist he is.
So that's why, when rhodey comes back, seeing a nerdy little kid with curly brown hair that strikingly resembled tonys, He didn't question it.
He simply patted Peter on the back and went to go grab Tony to interrogate the poor man on why he kept his nephew from him.
#spiderman#tony stark#irondad and spider son#iron man#peter parker#mcu marvel avengers#irondad and spiderson#rhodey#uncle rhodey we love him#not mine !!
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