#personal stuff and stress
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◇ |OPENING COMMISSIONS PROPERLY YAY|◇
ALL INFO ON THE COMM SHEET, ANY QUESTIONS ARE VALID
◇ BACKGROUNDS - simple background is free [price adds up depending on how detailed it is $10-$15]
◇ [new option] CHIBI FULLBODY;
[lineart/flatcolor/full color]- $15/$10/$5 each
◇ MORE EXAMPLES OF MY ART;
Please feel free to ask 🫶✨️
#Trying a bit with these prices as some of my friends said it was too cheap...#I CAN DRAW CREATURES AT SOME LEVEL (NON-ANTHROPOMORFIC(#alecz'makingz#hollow knight#hk#commission#art commisions#art commissions open#art comms open#hk commissions#furry commissions#anthro commissions#human commissions#I am in fact very alive just rlly busy bcs of school#personal stuff and stress#but stay tuned for more hk modern au stuff!<3 ty for yalls#patience can't thank yall u enough#chibi commissions#i do background commissions#at least now
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#quiet borderline#borderline personality problems#borderline things#ghosting#bed rotting#bpd stigma#bpd stuff#bpd thoughts#bpd blog#actually bpd#bpd problems#stressed#bpd mood#bpd#bpd vent
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seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything
#i personally like to not be doing things constantly at all times. it stresses me out#i know there are ppl who thrive on cosntant activity#but me i like to chill out.#and the problem then becomes that i only ACTIVELY remember to do work and Find More Work To Do when im stressed#at the thought that others might want to see me working#if im ever relaxed i just dont look for stuff to do#catch 22 of modern work culture which permeates even ostensibly noncapitalist structures like public libraries#for instance: will it really kill anybody if the books get shelved by me now after a very busy day?#or shelved tomorrow morning by. well probably me since i'll be the one at the desk#not in the slightest#but it was work that wasnt being immediately done by me. therefore it was incorrect behavior#that i failed to identify because my instinct is to relax when not immediately presented with a Situation#this got me labeled as 'having no initiative' by my dad from a very early age#and even as an adult i still feel like im a child with no initiative
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i don't want to heal i want them pay for what they did
#ptsd vent#actually ptsd#ptsd recovery#complex ptsd#ptsd#ptsd venting#post traumatic stress disorder#bpd diary#bpd awareness#bpd stuff#actually bpd#bpd safe#bpd thoughts#bpd blog#bpd blogger#bpd problems#bpd rage#bpd splitting#bpd vent#bpd#borderline#actually borderline#borderline problems#borderline blog#borderline personality disorder#borderline blogger#venting again#venting post#vent blog#vent post
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You know what the worst part of having a dissociative disorder is, for me personally?
The emotional amnesia.
Your entire life feels like something that you watched on TV, rather than something that you actually lived through.
You know that some of the most horrific things imaginable have happened to you, and you feel nothing about it. Sure, the memories disgust you on principle, but you don’t feel anything.
It makes you question if anything that you remember is real. If that actually happened, shouldn’t it feel significant? Shouldn’t you be sad, angry, hurt, something?
And to top it all off, nobody understands. Not even yourself.
#Ironically thinking hard about all this creates a somewhat paradox#By stressing about feeling nothing you torture yourself into feeling bad things#Not about the memories just about yourself as a person#x Celyn#celyn speaks#dissociative disorder#dissociation#depersonalization#derealization#depersonalisation#derealisation#dissociative identity disorder#did system#osdd system#osdid#osddid#osddid system#system stuff#emotional amnesia#osdid system#cdd#cdd system#complex dissociative disorder#dissociative amnesia#flux speaks#flux takes#did symptoms#sysblr#cdd community#did community
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idk if this is accurate but i’ve felt like in previous seasons riz & gorgug have been one of the inter-bad kids dynamics we’ve seen the least of & this season has been so great in that aspect. gorgug having helped make some of riz’s magic gear. riz helping gorgug with his studies. the shared birthday party. gorgug’s gift to riz being something he himself made to protect riz. riz’s gift to gorgug being something he illegally grabbed to protect gorgug. gorgug who utilizes rage to put his body on the line for his friends & riz who will take deep levels of mental stress for his friends. even though it was within the context of a joke, riz calling gorgug an “absolute sweetie.” like yea they might not be in a band together or both part of a presidential campaign team or owlbears teammates, but they’d go to war for each other, because they’re best friends.
#riz gukgak#gorgug thistlespring#fantasy high#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#these kids are all so self-sacrificing but i do think riz gorgug are the most clear (& juxtaposed) self-sacrificers#riz will mentally tear himself to pieces and get lost in cases and take on ungodly levels of stress for those he loves#gorgug will use himself as a human shield. he will take hit after hit if it means his friends are okay.#and they’d both do the other thing too. riz would let himself get hit for gorgug. gorgug would pull all nighters & take stress for riz.#even if mechanically they can’t or it wouldn’t make sense. they would if they could.#also#the starstruck barry mechanic of being a guard is so gorgug. it’s soooo gorgug like that’s literally him#anyways love this tall green guy & this short green guy so much#especially because gorgug is tall & considered intimidating but protective in a deeply kind way#while riz is short & underestimated but protective in a deeply vicious way (affectionate)#i hope this makes sense but i think riz is primarily ‘i would kill for you’ & gorgug is primarily ‘i would die for you’ maybe#this does not mean gorgug would not kill for riz or riz would not die for gorgug. they both would.#but those are the primary ways their love manifests due to the nature of their strengths/personalities. To Me#idk this is all just me saying stuff when i should be sleeping 😭#sorry if i missed a riz gorgug moment in the main post btw i’m tired
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I started drawing this next day after I finished Act 6
13 or so days and it's finished!
Main things are traditional and Loop's body was edited digitally after
Unedited it looks like this
I've been torn on how to do Loop's body for the entirety of lining, also
A bit sad the main lines are visible only as a wip, most of this thing is literally just a ton of sharp lines
I think it's also my first day of drawing, Loop is just a sketch here (feat. my leg)
I even finished the beans before it so they were a moral support, because if you let me things like this take a year
#fanart#my art#isat#isat fanart#in stars and time#isat loop#loop#traditional art#artists on tumblr#Phew#So anyway this was my way of figuring out my thoughts after finishing the game#I didn't even actually finish it with credits playing at that moment#This type of art is my therapy#And in a way literally how my personality works from big figures to small details of thinking about anything#It's really calming!#I won't tag paper figures but they're here#Like special guests#In any case the funniest thing was showing this to my English teacher and she was like 'wow this looks stressed' or something#Like she immediately looked at the lines and after I showed her my old Flowey drawing like this she was like#'oh it makes sense! This one looks calm but this one is clearly you not feeling good'#Because I was kinda#Like sitting there in the semi-park and feeling sick since morning before I started drawing this and slowly I got better#I already talked about this on my first 'big' isat thing - I needed to think a bit#And not think at the same time just literally letting myself sort stuff out#Like. I fell asleep at 6 am that day and woke up at 10 4 hours of sleep after playing full Act 5 and two hats stuff IS STRESSFUL#SUPER STRESSFUL! Like I felt like I was playing for 4 hours while sleeping#Anyway by the time I finished it aka today I'm feeling way better and I'm literally talking a walk right now#Touching grass as we speak#Anyway phew!#Now to that animatic that's plaguing my mind to draw it nowww
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Once again I bring you some Eriks 😊
#The Phantom of the Opera#Phantom of the Opera#poto#phantom of the paradise#time princess#erik#yes I'm playing time princess just for him listen...#it is very cute#I also wanted to draw him with cat eyes because Leroux makes it sound like he has them with the perfect night vision and glow and color#and his whole little meow meow personality and Miette way of speaking it just feels correct#also that one cover#and Winslow because potp is great and I think hes neat#I may do another one of these just so I can draw Cherik because I miss him#I've been neglecting my asks!! I'm so sorry I'll get to them soon I just haven't been online much..like this whole year#so I'm falling behind and catching up gets increasingly more overwhelming#this past few months have been stressful I've been waiting on a lot of stuff to fall into place and I have no control over any of it#so I just draw Eriks#aaaaaa anyway enjoy#my art
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Dopplegänger
Uh oh.
(Og Photo:)
#The Twitter people seemed to like this a lot so may as well post it here!#Broker bean design yea….#I really like that silly#This was a small VERY MUCH needed stress reliever I made for fun#I have been in the GUTTERS with art recently oh my god#I have stuff planned though! It just may take me a while to finish them/get them posted :’DDD#I’ll get more stuff done soon- I just needed a small piece to calm me down because I’ve been pretty stressed lately with a lot of things#I think once school kicks up again I’ll have a LOT more art (and personal projects like a real life matching medkit and subspace cosplay-#With a friend!) so there WILL be food soon#It may just take me a bit to get it done#art#phighting#phighting fanart#digital art#phighting roblox#phighting art#roblox#roblox phighting#phighting!#artists on tumblr#roblox fanart#roblox art#roblox game#roblox design#phighting! roblox#phighting! art#broker#PHIGHTING! Broker#the broker phighting#fanart
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I want. Four to get appreciation. Because
Four gave a ton of unnoticed help when Twilight was injured
The fight with Wild was difficult, and I know we're all concerned about his negative view of the shadow crystal
But Four did something that no one else really thought of to help- He took care of Twi's stuff
From the beginning he told Twilight to not worry about them
So Four took care of pretty much everything but the others (that Sky and Wars handled)
He took care of Epona
Which is so very important- he took care of Twilight's horse. After her arrival at the stable Four followed up on her
And for Epona, a horse so attached to her human, having some company can help so much for reassurance
He took care of Twilight's stuff
He got Twi's shield- his bags and equipment, and organized it into one place
And he was worried. He obviously found the shadow crystal while handling Twi's stuff, but his negative reactions to it were out of concern.
Also- because of his placement in this scene
I'm fairly convinced Four was ready to start cooking before Wild showed up (since he's beside the counter with food supplies). At the very least he had the basket of fruit out for everyone -but he was literally standing with food behind him- he thought of everything
And he did housekeeping!
Wars payed for the inn, so Four took care of the inn
Realistically these boys were probably not too concerned with tidyness. Four got all of Twi's things on one table, and took care of the room they stayed in
Organizing tables and Twi's things, having food supplies ready, and opening the curtains- overall he was the one tidying up the inn
Four helped in a huge way! He took care of Twi's horse (Epona is so important), his equipment and shield and bag, as well as the other rooms in the inn
Four filled in all the little tasks that others didn't think of. He helped in ways that were needed, but not obvious
There's a lot of problems with the shadow crystal and with Wild, and I don't know what's gonna happen in the future
But don't forget this- don't forget that Four was one who stepped up in an almost unnoticeable way
Don't forget that when everyone was barely holding it together, Four visited Twilight's horse and took care of his things
No matter what develops in the future- this amount of care shown is important ya know?
.
Art and comic from Jojo @linkeduniverse au :)))
#epona is so important#Lu four#linkeduniverse#linked universe#I work with horses and#Epona is INCREDIBLE- she's extremely attuned to humans and emotions. she doesn't scare easily and can keep her cool in a fight#but it's still super stressful to suddenly be in a fairly large and populated town- separated from her person#and for such an empathetic horse? Four going and TALKING to her- gently petting her nose and just being near her#means so so much! that literally matters so much to a horses mental state in a foreign situation- just having company#he checked on Epona and gave her company like !!!!!! it's so considerate and means so much for Epona! Four I love you !!!!!#uhhhh yeah!#with the food- I don't think the innkeeper would have free/complimentary food out- but wars wallet def had it covered#then wild showed up with potions in a cooking frenzy- but four was still shown with food behind him- he thought of everything#I don't know what's gonna happen with the shadow crystal and stuff. but no matter what happens in the future- this matters.#he did a ton of small things no one else thought of it matters he cares so much didjdkdksjfjj#I have a lot of posts I'm making/editing and trying to get to. I'm just a little gal trying my best :/#so many ideas and so little time... I love you guys and this fandom so much :))#(if I said anything off or offensive let me know... I'm always nervous about that but I want to hear from you if I'm wrong)#(also you are so so cool and valuable don't forget that ok? I love you and you are important)#:)
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Doggy surgery donation
UPDATED!: I will keep up the gofundmelink purely because i have older family members(and family in general) who will have wanted to use this link to donate via facebook ect. if you want to donate you still may
OR if gofundme isnt working for you, use my kofi! <- My kofi will constantly have the updated donated amount to the goal!!
CW/TW for visual nail harm on a dogs paw in the gofundme link!
As of right now both of my dogs were diagnosed with conditions they will have to live with, CJ is suspected to have an enlarged heart, but he definitely has a heart murmur. And marble has tumors. We do not know if they're fully benign or malignant, but they are Mast Cell Tumors.
Currently and most importantly we need help funding one of marbles surgeries. It has gotten to a point where a tumor has found itself at the knuckle of her front paw, and is now affecting either her nail, or bone.
I will also update more on CJ when were able to get enough for his vet visits as well to double check on his heart! For now marble needs her surgery!
If you cant donate its okay, but PLEASE share this around so it can get to someone who can!
#gofundme#personal#ive been stressed for months because of personal stuff and now this so anything helps!#oough my poor babies.
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hey! i want to make something incredibly clear.
ive clarified this on my instagram but i don't know if i didn't explain it well enough. I am aro/ace-spec. I do not like romantic or sexual interactions. I do not like NSFW content. This is my OWN preference. I'm not condemning it or speaking badly about it. I won't engage with it, neither will I portray it in my own art. I make art because I like drawing characters I like together and doing things. This does not mean I ship these characters, nor am I drawing things with the intention of a ship. If I tag a ship, I mean this in a platonic pairing. You will never see me draw anything romantic unless it is very clearly me playing on a joke or something. i.e., I won't draw anything that makes me uncomfortable.
I cannot stop someone from seeing a drawing I make and taking it as a romantic ship. It's always been my intention that I draw what makes me comfortable, and that means platonic interactions. If YOU think it's romantic, then like cool ig? But that's not my intention, and it wasn't meant that way. It's not up to me to make sure every person will see things exactly as platonic, and if you ask me why something looks like ship art, then that's someone interpretation, and not my intention
#sometimes those character pairings are popular ships! characters who have interactions will inevitably get shipped together#sorry someone just asked me on ig why i dont do ship art and then commented on my recent saying they thought i said i dont do ship art like#i dont. this is a popular pairing and i like drawing them together. those two things can exist simultaneously#i dont think they meant harm by it but it stressed me out. i am not blaming that person at all i just want to make this clear#i know many people rb/tag my stuff with the intention of the ship pairing and that is fine!#just want to make it clear what my intention is#not an art
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WWE's Bash in Berlin, 2024
some really multi-layered acting from Kevin here that we haven't gotten to see in a while and I absolutely love: starting with the restless look when he's first clinging to Cody, slight conflict still clear in his body language. then Cody firmly pats him on the back twice, and that smallest bit of violence (the thing which fuels so much of who KO is as a wrestling character), seems to provide either a distraction or a relief from the indecision. we see Kevin's stare move a thousand miles away, until he remembers there's a camera in his face capturing a rare moment of vulnerability and his brow instantly turns in anger as he shoves it away, breaking the moment for both himself and the prying viewer Kevin Owens may never win the war against his impulse to turn on those close to him, but he's won the latest battle and that might be enough for now
#wwe#wweedit#kevin owens#wwe gifs#smackdown#bash in berlin#cody rhodes#wwe smackdown#friday night smackdown#stuff i made#dont click read more unless you wanna see me wax poetic with personal interpretation !! i miss my problematic fave#again maybe he was just tired if thats the case me too bb i still dont like this booking i need the storytelling to step its pu**y up#its so stressful being a ko fan istg this is why i avoid talking about him i can feel my hair follicles becoming weaker by the second
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it makes me angry how pretty your art is 😭 angel is TOO gorgeous. She’s hogging it. She’s not sharing. It’s sickening how amazing your style is
THANK YOU WHAT !!!!!!!!!!!! you are so kind 😭😭😭😭😭!!!! saw this right after i just drew a bunch of her with 2d on twitter (spicy)... it was fate or something .... i really adore her, fuck 2d i need her to be real just for ME .!! heres a little doodle w her today.... sleeping is hard when you're 4'9" and you have to sleep next to a spindly & cuddly spider monkey
#ask#Anonymous#i reaaaaaally want to post abt her soon even if it's just general info & not backstory. she's enamored me as of late & ill take anything to#get my mind off of stressful personal stuff going on rn. your words mean a ton thank you so much#my art#art#im glad there's a little interest in her however small 💞#gorillaz#2d gorillaz#oc x canon#angel valentin#angel
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fairest of the fair
#hi! im alive and back and etc.#six the musical#six the musical fanart#katherine howard#thinking of that post going 'i think eventually you become the person you needed most' and like maybe that's the thing with my art#this started out as a redraw and <improvement meme> i think i've finally reached the stage where i'm making the things that my younger self#aspired to create. like i can do this now! i've reached That level of technical skill! tiny me would be so proud. it's very gratifying#redraw from august this year actually. i've made a surprising amount of improvement HAHA maybe it was the adamandi stuff getting me#back into digital rendering. i think that obsession has quietly slipped away but yknow. one never truly leaves a fandom. just less intensit#also speaking of old fandoms! we're back with the six stuff haha. as of writing i'm in the midst of blog revamp- figuring out how to chill#multifandom status doesn't mean ditch all the old stuff ! but i do feel much freer and less stressed. i think hiatus has been good for me#notes on this piece particularly: redraw about cutting hair and thinking of the lyric above. also lowkey &j ref + pinterest poem excerpts#of female suffering. and maybe a dash of amanda heng let's walk inspo. this work is really just full of contradictions..#1. the mirror and cutting hair as an act of self liberation 2. the & is part of the lyric but also a nod to &j (in another iteration it was#pink but the white looked better) and like. &j is really all !!! girl power!!! etc. and i was like hmmmm. also matching pink shiny aes#3. the frame as a cage; the mirror as a self reflection idea (ie. saville's propped insp) but also as a sign of vanity. 4. sparkly costume#and pretty pose- read one too many poems about women feeling like they have to be pretty even in their suffering. something i wanted to#explore. and also in 5. the show itself... all you wanna do is. despite all the dancing and pink and sparkly the content of the song is#darker. and even though it's a story of her suffering it's still presented as a shiny fun pop song and ajshdhfhfh ok... 6. the lyrics fall#outside the frame. sort of a caught inbetween. sort of a trapped in the narrative and yet#within the frame it's all. vaguely handwavy breaking free vibes. like i said contradictions?#7. cutting off the long ponytail vs the pull my hair lyric at the end. yeah#8. the blocked off & looks a bit like scissors. positioned to cut right at the neck#anyways yeah irl remains hectic! but if i get around to more doodles they'll appear here :)
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Ah, nothing like a good morning with your royal wife and your “no lighting at home” lovely husband 🥰
If you want to put something funny in their cups there’s this blank version:
#thanks to the discord server once again🔥🔥🔥#Azula is just grumpy because she woke up and she is not allowed to throw lighting at anyone#but she is gonna be fine#she just needs a good cup of morning coffee and a hug from his husband#apologies if they look weird but I haven’t draw as often as I used to#at least not for personal stuff until this month#because I finally finished a big project and now I have vacations yay!#O am not sure why but I think Azulaang has an special spell on me#when I feel stressed or I have art Block I suddenly draw Azulaang and it looks great#or at least decent#anyways appreciate the power of Azulaang🔥💖🔥💨#korranok art#azulaang
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