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fire-emblem-drabbles · 1 year ago

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Pairing: Astarion x reader (Tav)

Prompt: Astarion wants to repay you for all the blood you share with him!

Description: There was an undeniable attraction between the two of you; Astarion could taste it on your skin before he took a bite, see it in the way you couldn't meet his eyes when you spoke to him. Perhaps you just needed him to push you in the right direction. He did owe you, after all.

Rating: sfw (ikr)

Word Count: 1869

Content Warnings: fem reader (use of she/her), reader is mentioned to be a cleric of selune but it's just a liddle bit, the first part is dub conish until Astarion Realizes (there's nothing crazy, they only get as far as removing clothing), ask to tag!

Notes: Okay this was originally supposed to be not sfw. right. I had this whole dub con scene planned out and it was gonna be so GOOD but. then I remembered I can't write nsfw (at least I can't do it quickly lol) so I decided to make a version where Astarion makes the right choice instead. I still have plans to write the original (I imagine you can find the part in this where I decided to go another direction lol) because as much as we stan a man who grows. I am also here for a guy who doesn't learn at all and perpetuates his own hurt and grief on to other people (me). Also wow I need to get more screenshots of Astarion...

That night, not too long ago. When your blood singed louder to him than anything had before. When you laid gently before him, not even stirring. Trusting your allies. Trusting him. It was all so intoxicating-- so much so, that he couldn’t help but take a bite.

Perhaps it was luck, perhaps it was because you sensed him, or perhaps because something holy in you sensed something wretched in him. You awoke before Astarion could sink his teeth in you, before he could taste your sweet blood and feel your fleeting pulse under his fingertips.

He had expected a stake in a chest, the loss of this terrible life. What he hadn’t expected was your sympathy-- nor your understanding. No, when you invited him to dine on your blood (with such an adorable look on your face-- it’s a wonder he was the first to taste you), nearly let him kill you because you didn’t know how to tell him to stop-- it was a gift. One he truly hadn’t forgotten. Especially when, sweet as sugar, you invited him to drink of you again.

After all this, you deserved to be payed back! You had given him so much it was only fair Astarion share what he could with you. As it happened, the only currency he had was his body and you were being a little too stubborn to take his kindness.

“Astarion, really--” He had cornered you in your tent. Everyone else was asleep at this time of night, but not you, little adherent of the moon maiden. Your prayers had only just concluded as he invited himself in (a luxury he was sure to abuse now that he could).

“No darling, I insist.” He scoots in closer to you, chasing your warmth. “Let me make it up to you. I want you to feel as good as you make me feel.” His cool breath ghosts upon your skin, and he delights in the way your cheeks flare in the pale light of your candles.

“I’m just not sure about it.” You spare a glance at Astarion and have to quickly look away from him. He’s really putting on the charm tonight and if you continue to look his way, it might work.

“Well why not?” Astarion isn’t having it, cupping your cheek so you look to his face, to his wide red eyes. “I know you’re attracted to me. When you think I’m not looking you can’t keep your eyes off me, but as soon as I look your way…” Astarion takes a moment to appreciate the color on your cheeks, the way you seem to look for an escape a moment before giving in and looking into his eyes.

“It’s not that, trust me, I think you’re very nice to look at…” You close your eyes a moment, trying to gather yourself and your thoughts. You just, didn’t know how to breach the topic. You knew it wasn’t embarrassing, but to have to tell Astarion of all people that you were still a virgin… Well, it but a knot in your stomach.

“Well then what is it?” He urged, hand tracing down your cheek to rest on your neck, to the spot where he had tasted your sweet, sweet blood again and again.

“I’ve just. Never laid with anyone before!” You say the words quickly, closing your eyes lest you see his reaction to the truth.

“Really?” Astarion can’t deny the excitement that floods through him. This merely sweetens the pot for him. To have a precious little cleric share her virgin blood with him (Astarion can merely smirk at how mad that would make Cazador), to have her promise to take down that same wretched master, and now to induce in her in a way no one else ever had. Why, it’s as much a gift for him as it is for her! With that, Astarion cools his expression, tries to chill the desire suddenly running through him.

“Aww, a little cleric of Seluné, having never felt the touch of another?” Astarion can’t help but coo, his words smooth as he teases. Cliche, perhaps, but still enticing. “Saving yourself for someone special?” He laughs again. “Or perhaps saving yourself for me?”

“I didn’t say--” Astarion cuts you off with a soft ‘shh’, gently lowering you down on your bedroll.

“You didn’t have too, darling. I can see in you what you can’t speak aloud.” He moves atop you, leering over you with a devilish look in his eyes. “You want this just as bad as I do, you just do have the words to say it.” With that, he descends upon you, lips meeting in what you can only call a sweet kiss. Sweet enough, in fact, to lure you in; soft and kind for fleeting precious moments before his hunger wins over and you are devoured like the treat you are. He’s overwhelming; hands upon you, peeling away you camp clothing and craving your warmth. He barely parts from your mouth, just enough for a heady intake of you.

“How did I manage to hold back for so long?” His words are spoken with a large, savored sigh. “Just look at you, all needy and obedient under me. A perfect little pet.” His words have your whole body flushing. You could probably easily push him away-- you know you’re stronger than him and if your desperate you’ve a war hammer not even a meter away from where the two of you lay. But you aren’t sure you want to. Aren’t sure if you should.

When Astarion lifts the hem of your shirt, you lift your arms for him, so the fabric can be thrown away. So too does his shirt go. When his hands snake to your pants, and wiggle them past your hips, past your thighs to join you prayer book in the far corner, you do not stop him. Nor do you stop him from removing his own worn and threadbare pants; they join you other clothing in the small confines of your tent, until the two of you are left in your undergarments, looking at one another with wonder and lust and fear and everything that stands between.

You hadn’t noticed you were trembling until Astarion leaned in close to you again, taking your hand in his. “Sorry, I just,” The words tumble out of you before you can think to stop them. “Just, nervous.” You manage to get out, carefully tracing his features for any hint of teasing or remark.

“That’s alright,” Astarion pauses, because he can’t quite remember the last time someone looked as scared as he always felt. He stops and considers a moment if this was something you truly wanted-- but if it wasn’t you wouldn’t have let him get this far in the first place, would you? But then he sighs, leaning forward to press his forehead against yours with his eyes closed.

“This isn’t right, is it?” Astarion pauses a moment, opening his eyes to really take you in. You were still shaking like a leaf, eyes wide and fearful. It was like looking into a mirror for the first time in 200 years. How could he even think to force you into this when it was something he had tried to avoid the entirety of his undead life?

“It’s…” You sigh and shake your head no. “It was never that I didn’t like you, or find you attractive… I’m just not ready. But… I didn’t want to lose the chance to be with you, either.” You admit. “I should have stopped you but…” You pause as Astarion gently pulls off of you.

“No, I should have…” Astarion pauses as well, pushing air out through his nose. “I should have listened to you.” He sits, turned away from you, and you study the intricate runes on his back as you both take a long moment to speak.

“I… should leave.” Astarion moves to get his clothing together, and you sit up straight as well.

“Wait! Just because I don’t want to have sex, doesn’t mean I don’t like your company.” You pull on your own shirt as well, watching as he turns your way with a confused look on his face. “I still like spending time with you.” You admit, face just as pink as when you admitted you were a virgin.

“… You really do, don’t you?” Astarion settles a moment, watching your face as your bright eyes flash his way a moment. “Even if you did try to lie it would be easy to tell…” He retreats to his thoughts a moment, considering his next move. “If I do stay, what would you have us do?” He rests again as you sheepishly pull your pants back on under his watchful gaze.

“Well…” You look to him. “I liked being close to you, actually.” You admit. “It was nice to be held by you.” You seem shy all the sudden, but your request is rather tame compared to what Astarion was more than ready to do to you.

“You just want to cuddle?” Astarion is equal parts surprised and amused. It’s not as if he hadn’t but, well it had never been with anyone he dared to care about. You are different, in that sense. He’s put a lot of chips on you, no doubt… And though he wouldn’t dare to put a title to it, there is a certain sense of affection he held for you. One that, perhaps he can indulge for now. “Well… I suppose there’s no harm in that.”

You light up. “Really?” You smile at him, wide and unabashed. Astarion finds he likes that look much better than the fear you wore mere minutes earlier. It suits you much better. “You don’t mind?”

Astarion scoffs, perhaps to hide his own excitement at the prospect. “I said I pay you back, didn’t I? Who am I to complain how you decide to spend our time together?” He acts nonchalant but you can’t help but keep smiling. “Now, come here.” Astarion scoots in closer to you, holding his arms out and makes a little grabby motion with his hands. You can’t help but giggle but nonetheless comply, moving in closer to him and allowing him to encircle his arms around you. You circle an arm around his neck, and rest one on his chest, sighing in content.

“This is nice.” You hum out, eyes closed as you snuggle closer to him. Astarion can’t help but admire how serene you look.

“You’re still shaking…” He notes, even as he holds you close and tries to follow your lead. Isn’t this what you wanted?

“This time, it really is nerves.” You confirm, opening your eyes to look at his face. “I’m okay though, I promise.” You cuddle in closer to him, once again closing your eyes. It’s both quite alarming and fascinating how much you seem to trust Astarion but… This time, he won’t be that trust to shame.

The two of you would go at this (whatever this was, he noted; everything seemed strange and new) at your pace. Because maybe, just maybe… that was what Astarion needed too.

#Astarion x reader #astarion x tav #baldur's gate 3 fanfiction #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion ancunin #here we go again boys #can you believe he's not even my fav #i just keep having these ideas

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seokgyuu · 1 year ago

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idk what the other heathens (affectionate) have asked for but i just think it’s neat how serious and cute seokmin gets when he’s kissing you. like he holds your face as he’s kissing you deep and slowly and he’ll mumble in between each one about how he loves you and he’d constantly have eye contact and look between your lips and eyes and i just… really wanna make out with him

- nova (it’s not really a request BUT FOOD FOR THOUGHT hehe)

a/n: well hello there nova <3 this turned out a bit different than what you asked for, but i hope its still fine!! literally just went with the flow of making out with seokmin.. hehe. kinda liked the idea of him being a loser that just happens to be an absolute ace when it comes to making out *giggles*. let me know what you think!

TITLE: sweet, sweeter, seokmin's kisses

PAIRING: Seokmin(DK) x Fem!Reader

GENRE: frat au (just mentioned that they are in a frat lmao)

WARNINGS: mentions of drinking alcohol, loads of kissing, it is suggestive but no smut, still MDNI!

WORDCOUNT: 1.4k

TAGS: @honeykyeom, @onlyseokmins, @playmetheclassics, @the-boy-meets-evil, @dkakapizzaboy my fellow dk ferals <3

Playing Truth or Dare was so Middle School. Not that that stopped anyone from playing it at Jihoon’s birthday party.

You were seated cross legged next to Chan, a beer in your hand that surely had reached room temperature by now. Wonwoo was the one doing a dare for fifteen minutes, still counting. He had been dared to call his first girlfriend and tell her he wanted her back (which was absolutely infuriating and manipulative and horrible, but you were surrounded by a bunch of frat dudes who didn’t know boundaries) and she still hadn’t picked up. Why he kept on trying, you didn’t know. Perhaps he really wanted her back.

“Just leave a message, what the fuck,” you finally breathed out, face in a frown and the circle of dudes all turned to look at you. God damnit, why did their frat have to be the most unpopular on campus and why were you the only one feeling enough pity for them to actually come to their lame ass parties?

“But then we won’t get to see her reaction!” Soonyoung protested, but you groaned and shook your head at him.

“Okay, and? I’m pretty positive she’ll call him back once she sees the thirty missed calls, Soon.”

To that, none of them had a response. Soonyoung exchanged looks with Wonwoo and Seokmin, and finally decided to give in. Sighing in relief, you relaxed against the couch behind you, watching Wonwoo spin the bottle this time. It spun for a good thirteen seconds before it stopped - pointing at Seokmin. He, as confident as always, with a huge grin on his face said: “Dare!”

Maybe you should have seen it coming. The round had been going on for way too long for no one to be dared to kiss you - the only girl at this joke of a party. The thing was, Seokmin wasn’t ugly. More so the opposite. He could have been a campus heartthrob if only he hadn’t decided to join this fraternity. SVT was a sad example of how frats can become unpopular when they get led by the wrong people. And while Seungcheol, the leader since this semester, tried his very best to get their reputation up - it hadn’t worked just yet. So, yeah, Seokmin was handsome and buff and hot and all that. But he was Seokmin. He was silly and goofy and laughed a little too loud and always tried to cheer everyone up even when no one wanted him to. Thinking about it now, it did sound kind of nice of him. Still. Did you want to kiss him? Not really.

“I dare you to kiss Y/N! But not just a peck, like full on kiss kiss her!” Wonwoo grinned and your mouth dropped open.

“What the fuck is kiss kiss supposed to mean?!” You asked, and Wonwoo shrugged

“You’ll figure it out!”

Taking a deep breath, trying your hardest not to once again yell at the man with the round glasses on top of his nose, you finally looked at Seokmin, who’s eyes seemed to be just as wide as humanly possible.

“D-Do you mind?” He stuttered out and because you weren’t a buzz kill, you shook your head and put your cup down, uncrossing your leg and instead crouching over to him.

“Just kiss me and shut up,” you mumbled and Seokmin visibly swallowed, his eyes gazing from your eyes to your lips and then, finally, he leaned forward, pressing his mouth against yours.

At first, you were confused. Because why the hell did his lips feel so soft? Never in your two years of knowing this man had you seen him use chapstick. Seokmin kissed the way he smiled. Warm. And sweet. And somehow better than anyone you had ever kissed. Almost automatically, your eyes fell shut and your hands landed on his cheeks as you slowly sat up, taking him with you. He kissed you deeper then, his hands on the small of your back and when he parted your lips with his own and let his tongue slide into your heat, you almost felt like moaning. It wasn’t necessarily because you were turned on but because he was just so good at this.

“Okay, okay! Damn, get a room!” Chan had thrown his empty solo cup at your head and you had, with a strange sense of sadness in your heart, separated from Seokmin. Or at least your lips separated because your hands were still on his cheeks and his were still on your back. For a few seconds you just stared at each other, blinking away and then you were back on your place on the floor, head buzzing and heart thumping.

What had just happened? Seokmin’s taste still lingered on your lips, on your tongue. It left you breathless, left your stomach doing flips over and over again and your brain yelling at you to kiss him again because, fuck, how long had it been since you’ve kissed someone and liked it? While the game continued, Seokmin now asking Chan a question after the youngest hast picker Truth over Dare. You allowed your eyes to flicker to Seokmin, seeing the red on his cheek and the way his lips were wet and-

“Seokmin, I think you wanted to show me something in your room earlier.”

The words left your mouth before your brain caught up. Chan, who had been in the middle of answering the question you hadn’t even heard, and everyone else in the circle, stared at you. God, you hoped Seokmin got the hint. If he didn’t, this could end up extremely awkward.

Seokmin was also looking at you, eyes back to being big and round and his mouth was hanging open slightly as he seemed to wreck his brain as to when he had said that. But when he saw the look in your eyes, saw the silent pleads, it clicked. His cheeks got even redder.

“O-Oh, yes! Yes, I did. Uhh, I think now is as good as ever to show you! S-sorry guys!”

It was safe to say none of the guys were mad once they caught on what was actually happening (it took them a good five minutes to count one and one together).

You were on top of Seokmin, straddling him, and your arms were locked around his neck while his rested on your back, his lips moving against yours so perfectly it felt like they were two puzzzle pieces designed to fit together. Kissing him was like tasting cotton candy for the first time, like going for a swim on an especially hot summer day. It felt right in all the ways a kiss could. You didn’t even care about the lack of him trying to touch you anywhere else than your back, just happy to feel his lips on yours and to have his tongue occasionally bump against yours. This wasn’t about initiating sex, no, this was something more and still less. Your fingers stroked the back of his head, felt the soft locks and when he giggled against your lips you almost melted.

“I’m ticklish”, he explained then, the red back on his cheeks and you just nodded, kissing him again, hands moving to his face.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you mumbled, pressing your lips together. He wrapped his arms around you fully now, hands on your shoulder, and you felt the safest you ever had in anyone’s arms. This was crazy. This was Seokmin. He wasn’t supposed to make you feel this way. You shoved the thought away. It didn’t matter that he was in a bitchless fraternity. From now on you could be his bitch.

Suddenly, you felt hin smile against your lips and you parted from him even though you didn’t actually want to.

“What’s so funny?” You asked, kissing his cheek. Seokmin chuckled.

“I kind of wanted to kiss you since freshman year.”

“For real?!” Your eyes widened. He nodded.

“Yeah. But when I entered SVT I kind of figured it probably wouldn’t happen.”

“Guess you figured wrong.” The smile on your lips was sincere and you let your hands rest on the sides of his face again. Seokmin smiled warmly, just like he always did.

“I guess so.”

And then he kissed you again, and whenever he stopped to giggle because you tickled him, you could feel yourself fall harder and harder into a Seokmin shaped hole you kind of felt like you couldn’t ever escape again.

#svthub #dk fanfiction #dk x reader #seokmin x reader #seokmin fanfiction #svt au #dk au #dk imagine #svt imagine #dokyeom x reader #svt x reader #seventeen x reader #lee seokmin x reader #lee dokyeom x reader

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chrysopoeias · 1 year ago

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opinion posting about riza hawkeye/otp on something i see a lot around town but i disagree with.

Anyway. One thing I see more often than not is the idea that Hawkeye joined the military in order to chase after Mustang because she wanted to protect him. Or that she chased him while in love. But that is actually not true. I know ‘Because I have someone to protect’ is meemed into everyone’s head, but that was not her reason for joining the army. And it does not make sense either.

Like in a strategy guide to get Riza laid any% speedrun, what option is most logical?

1) Go completely no-contact with Mustang. Attend possibly multiple years of the military academy, likely in a different region from where he is. Get into a speciality that is wildly different from him. Git gud at that and then hope that maybe, if all the stars align her future boss will one day for some random reason put her in the proximity of this magic scientist she has not spoken to in years. And then ??? profit?

2) Literally just call Roy on his phone number, perhaps sent him a nice letter, or visit his address.

Sure, the first thing is what actually happened. But it's way too uncertain for that to have been planned. She did not need to be a soldier to be close to him. Roy was not a stranger to Riza, she had his current up to date contact info. He gave it to her on page/screen after her dad died.

When she first sees Mustang in Ishval Hawkeye looks angered and shocked to see him. The first thing she says to him is ‘Do you remember me?’. These two had no contact at all between 1905 and 1908. Mustang got flame alchemy and skedaddled out of her life (even though he was supposed to look after her lmao) and Hawkeye also had clearly no intention of seeking him out when she could have done so easily. She did not join the army to protect him. And also, she says why she joined:

She wanted to improve the lives of the people of Amestris. So am I saying it had nothing to do with Mustang? Well no. Her reasons for joining the military are the same as his.

She looked up to him. Here is this young man who has been to places beyond her sad little town and graduated from the military academy, he is a genius alchemist and must know what he’s talking about, right? That is on top of whatever their relationship was like before then, and whatever adoration she had for him already. She trusted him and thought his dreams were wonderful. Riza also wanted to believe in a peaceful future. Remember that they live in a totalitarian military dictatorship that has been in continued armed conflicts since the middle ages. There has never been a time of peace, ever, since the country was founded. And from the normie Amestrian point of view, they are just defending themselves from outside attacks. I believe that if Hawkeye and Mustang were sent to a border conflict instead of the civil war, they would have never questioned their government.

Anyway, Riza saw an opportunity to be useful with her own two hands, beyond being a walking notebook. Even if she could die in the process, it’d be worth to try. (And the military would also give her a salary after growing up in poverty and a place to live that is not the house she was abused in). She was a teenager with no family, no guidance, no idea what to make of herself. But this was something she could do. (She could have chosen many non-violent paths instead too, to be fair, but I digress).

And then it all went to shit obviously. You cannot become a sniper and never expect to kill. Selling your agency to the state means you can’t just play hero when you want to, you will be sent where ordered whether you like it or not, and forced to commit horrors or die a traitor. Believing the naive ideals of protecting her country was a mistake. Blindly admiring and trusting Mustang was a mistake. Smarter people than me can go expand on that.

But the ‘because there is someone I have to protect’ reason Hawkeye gives for being in the military is actually the reason why she stays. She could have gotten her diploma after Ishval and leave the military behind. But she chose not to.

She stays and will continue to kill because flame alchemy is her responsibility and she has created Mustang, all his kills are mentally hers. If she quits or kills herself while he does not, flame alchemy is still loose in the world outside her control. And just like Roy, she never fully gives up on her dream about protecting everyone. There must be a way to make all this worth it. There is still a way to change the country so future generations won’t have to go through what she did. She’s already doomed so she will take that responsibility so others won’t have to. She violently and fully clings to that.

If Mustang dies before doing anything positive for the world with their dreams and his abilities, all Hawkeye has done with her short life is cause destruction, murder and create a murderer, all the suffering would have been a waste. She cannot life with that guilt or continue the path alone, she will give up and kill herself. Especially in the scenario where she kills Roy herself, and with that her only hope.

There is no way out for them. But their murder-suicide pact was not planned for since they were young. They never intended to see each other again and spend their lives like this. You can blame dad for setting them up for failure.

#verwijder later #thanks for reading my rambles if you do #i have to write it out or it keeps bouncing in my head and distracting me all day at work

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theshelbyclan · 2 years ago

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Getting away with murder

Summary: Teddy knows she can get away with murder when it comes to her brothers, but maybe she really did go too far this time

A/N: I have no idea how this one started, where the idea came from, but I had a vision and couldn’t let the idea go... enjoy!

Words: 3324

*****

“Oh,” John took a deep breath and turned to his sister. Then he whispered again, “Oh, Teddy... oh, you didn’t...”

“I didn’t mean to!” she hissed back, “Obviously, this is not what I had in mind either!”

John looked at Arthur again, who had just walked into the shop. It was still early, so only the Shelby’s were present. Thank God. Suddenly, John burst out laughing, but luckily he was too far away for Arthur to hear. To Teddy he said, “Well, it was nice knowing you.”

Teddy fidgeted nervously, “What do I do? Do you think I can fix it?”

“That?” Giggles erupted from John now, “Absolutely not.”

“Fuck...” Teddy sighed deeply, “Tommy’s going to kill me too.”

“Look at your oldest brother, fucking look at him! Look at what you’ve done to the poor man!” John pointed, his voice nearing hysterics now, “And you’re afraid of Tommy?”

The truth was, Teddy wasn’t quite sure who to be more afraid of. On the one hand there was Arthur, who would indeed explode, but his temper was like dynamite and therefore short-lived. Then there was Aunt Polly, who raised her with an iron fist and seemed to have a wide variety of punishments at her disposal when needed, all of them horrible. And lastly, Tommy, feared by all and with good reason. Just the thought of his piercing eyes made Teddy knees wobble.

“Stop laughing!” she hissed, “I’m going to get killed no matter what, so what the fuck do I do now? Maybe I can, you know, make it a little less bloody?”

He looked down at his youngest sister and John could feel a little pang of sympathy for her. In many ways, the two of them were alike: they often didn’t think their actions through. And here she was again, finding herself in serious trouble, as she so often did. He did want to help, mainly because he liked her too much to be killed this young, “Maybe if you tell Tommy what happened. He always likes that, when you’re honest, you know? Just tell him you made a small mistake.”

“Mistake?” Teddy spun around to face him, “a fucking small mistake? How in the hell am I going to pass that off as a small mistake?!”

“Tell him you had a seizure?” John giggled.

Teddy rolled her eyes, “Perhaps they won’t think it’s me.”

“Oh, they will. This has ‘Theodora Shelby’ written all over it.”

“Fuck.”

John looked at his sister again, who was biting at her nails nervously. People often thought she sought out trouble, and they were right, but not as often as everyone thought. Sometimes, bad things just seemed to happen to her as a result of some very bad judgement. But she didn’t mean for it to happen, not really... “Come on,” he grabbed Teddy and dragged her towards Tommy’s office, “It’s like a bandaid, alright? Just rip it off and do it quick!”

“No! John, no seriously I can’t...” Teddy protested, but he had his hand firmly on the cuff of her shirt and there was no escaping him. And before she could protest again, he’d pushed her into Tommy’s office.

Stumbling in, Teddy almost tripped over her own two feet. As soon as she met Tommy’s eyes, she turned around again, but there was John blocking her exit and he pushed her closer to him at once. Trapped between two brothers, Teddy couldn’t see a way out.

A massive toothy grin was plastered all over John’s face as he said, “Tom? Teddy here has something to tell you.”

“You fucking prick,” Teddy hissed at him, but that only caused him to laugh more.

But Tommy was busy, he was always busy, and whatever it was, he wasn’t in the mood for it. Still, he was the first one responsible for Teddy and he never tried to evade that responsibility. So, he demanded in a very strict and brotherly fashion, “And what exactly is John talking about, Teddy?”

“I don’t have a clue...”

Icy-blue eyes glared at her and Teddy gulped. Then he demanded, “Did John, by any chance, tell you I’d go easier on you if you told me yourself?”

Teddy’s jaw dropped. How the fuck did he work all of that out in just under a minute? How in the hell was Thomas Shelby, her brother, practically clairvoyant when it came to her mischief? And again, he could read her mind, “Gypsy witchcraft.”

So Teddy conceded, “Yes, he did.” She looked over at John, who was standing in the corner now, chewing his toothpick. It was like he was watching a film and enjoying every second of it. Silently, Teddy cursed him, even though she knew she’d gotten herself into this mess in the first place.

“Sit.” Tommy demanded, “Explain.”

Teddy sat down carefully and tried to find the best words she could, just to make this a little bit easier on herself. But there were no right words. “I wanted to help Arthur.”

As soon as she mentioned the word ‘help’, John burst out laughing again. Tommy held up a hand to silence him and narrowed his eyes at Teddy, “Help him with what exactly.”

“I thought... maybe he wanted to look a bit more like us?”

“In what way,” Tommy sighed and lit a cigarette. He’d spend twelve long years with his sister already, and still she managed to surprise him every day. So, he was mentally preparing himself for the worst, just in case.

“You know,” Teddy still tried to evade the question, “we’re dark and he’s... ginger?”

“Not anymore, he’s not...” John sniggered in the corner.

Tommy raised his eyebrows in question and waited for his sister to continue. As he waited, he tried to think like Teddy and imagine what she’d gone and done now, but for all his gypsy witchcraft, he still couldn’t worm his way into his sister’s crazy mind.

“I might have made a small mistake, Tommy,” Teddy finally confessed, echoing John, “when trying to fix Arthur’s hair.”

Tommy turned to John abruptly and he spoke to him like Teddy wasn’t even there anymore, “What the fuck has happened to Arthur’s hair?”

“Tommy, listen...” John held up his hands like he wanted to make clear he had nothing to do with this whatsoever, “I don’t know what she did to him, but the poor bastard looks fucking terrible.”

The older brother frowned again and leaned over his desk to study the guilty party’s face up close. She, in turn, tried to curl up in her chair, praying to God she could just disappear. But just as Tommy was about to open his mouth, a knock on the door sounded.

“What!” he barked.

“It’s me, Tom. I’ve got these papers for you to sign. Can’t work them out. Some boy dropped them off for you...” a familiar voice stumbled on the other side.

Tommy shot John a strict look and Teddy an absolutely lethal one. Then he called out, “Come in, Arthur.” And he quickly poured himself a drink, preparing himself for whatever the fuck was to come.

But he wasn’t prepared. As soon as Arthur stepped into the office and Tommy took one look at him, he spit out part of his whiskey across the table. Teddy wiped it gingerly off her face and tried to make herself even smaller. John, meanwhile, was dying.

Arthur, however, didn’t seem to have the vaguest idea what was going on. “You alright, brother?” he asked Tommy, as he handed over the papers.

Tommy managed to stumble, “Yeah, bad quality, that’s all... I’ll, Uhm, I’ll take a look at these, eh?”

“Right, well...” Arthur pointed at John suddenly, “What the fuck is wrong with him?”

“You dropped him as a baby, remember?” Tommy waved a dismissive hand, “He’s mad, ignore him. I’ll get these papers back to you as soon as I can, alright?” Teddy had to admire his ability to adapt.

“Yeah...” Arthur shot another look at John, who had his mouth covered with a hand now and appeared to be either laughing or choking, it was hard to tell. But he decided to just leave it be and left the office soon after.

Apart from the occasion snort from the corner, the office was dead silent once again. Finally Tommy spoke, “You fucked up his hair and he has no idea.”

Teddy quickly started, “I didn’t mean for this to happen, I swear, Tommy! I just made a small mistake!”

“A small mistake is when you accidentally drop a plate or lose a fucking button, Teddy, but that,” he pointed, “is something else entirely.”

“It’s not that bad, though, is it?” Teddy whimpered.

Tommy raised his eyebrows and sighed. Then he decided, “You’re on your own. You’ve officially gone too fucking far now and I’m not helping you.”

“But Tommy...”

“Nope! You’ve made your bed. I’ve told you again and again, Teddy, one of these days you’re going to get yourself killed and you’ve done it now. Congratulations.”

“Please, Tommy!” she pleaded, “It was an accident! I’ll do anything, I swear!”

“It was an accident, eh?”

“Yes! Well... sort of.”

“Oh, sort of...” he coughed a laugh, “So not really.”

Teddy sighed theatrically and was completely desperate now, “Just tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it, alright?”

Tommy tried to do everything in his power to keep himself from smiling and he had managed so far. He slowly lifted his cigarette up to his lips and mused, “You’ll do anything?”

“Yes.”

“Without protesting or scheming? And without one fucking question in the fucking process?”

“Yes, fine.” Teddy sulked a little.

“Good!” Tommy stubbed out his cigarette and allowed some mirth to find its way onto his features, “Well in that case, you can start by telling me how exactly you managed to dye your eldest brother’s hair green!”

*****

Arthur Shelby sat in his office, surrounded by books and papers. He’d recently gotten into business with a local breeder and it had proven profitable, but there was a lot of paperwork involved.

“I need a drink,” he mumbled to himself.

As he crossed the betting shop, he saw no one because it was still early, only his youngest brother Finn. “Morning,” he greeted him, “Did you get the papers?”

Finn nodded wordlessly, with a dumbfounded look on his face.

“What?” Arthur demanded.

His brother pointed slowly at his head.

“Oh, right,” he nodded in reply while opening the door to go outside, “Almost forgot my cap. Thanks, Finn.”

After a few moments, Finn moved and muttered to himself, “Fuck. Teddy’s really done it now...” And he quickly went on his way to try and find her.

“So that’s why!” Finn burst into Tommy’s office as soon as he had spotted his youngest sister sitting there. “I knew you weren’t buying it for yourself! You hardly even bother to wash, let alone be pretty...”

“Thanks for that, Finn,” Teddy grumbled.

“I don’t mean that,” he protested, “I mean, you’re not like the other girls, who brush their hair and...”

Tommy held up a hand to silence him, “Bought what?”

“I think you’re very pretty, Teddy,” John smiled at his sister.

“I do too!” Finn sighed, “I just meant...”

“For fuck’s sake!” Tommy called out, “Teddy, you are beautiful and anyone who tells you different can fuck off. Now, back to the fucking business at hand: buy what?”

“Hair dye.”

A long sigh followed.

Teddy tried her best not to meet his eye, “I bought some black hair dye for Arthur. How was I supposed to know it would turn his hair green?”

“Because his hair is ginger, that’s why,” he replied darkly, “You really should have more girls as friends, Teddy, they probably could’ve told you this.”

“Oh...”

John swallowed some more laughs and asked, “What do we do?”

“There’s nothing we can do. We just have to make sure he doesn’t go out like this or we’ll lose all the respect we’ve earned around here.”

Finn dragged his feet across the floor a little, “Tommy, he just went out.”

“Fucking hell.”

“I made sure he wore a hat, so that’s something?”

“Right,” Tommy slammed a hand down on the table and decided he’d spend enough time on this nonsense, “Teddy, you are going to find your brother and you’re going to tell him what you did to the poor bastard.”

Teddy protested, “Tommy, I...”

“Nope!” he interrupted, “No more fucking excuses from you. Now, either you find a way to fix his hair or you convince him to cut it all off. I don’t give a fuck what you do, but you are going to repair whatever damage has been done to the good Shelby name, alright?”

“Yes, Tommy,” Teddy gave in, and with a heavy heart she stood up and left the room, with Finn in tow.

Only after she’d closed the door behind her, Tommy allowed himself to smile.

“Arthur is going to go mental,” John commented dryly.

“Just go and make sure that he hits a hole in some wall and not our beloved sister, eh?”

John turned around and just as he opened the door, said, “You know, if this was anyone else, you would’ve cut her.”

“Yes,” Tommy sighed, “but it’s Teddy and she can get away with murder with me and she fucking knows it.”

John turned smirked and turned to leave. But Tommy added, “So do you.”

“You’re going soft, big brother!” John called down the hall as he walked away.

“Am I?” Tommy muttered to himself, “Maybe I just have too many fucking younger siblings... Fuck, I am going soft.”

But the truth was, he’d always been soft for them. And he knew it.

*****

Flitting from corner to corner on the streets of Small Heath, Teddy shadowed her big brother Arthur. He’d gone down to the Garrison to pick up another bottle of rum, but luckily he hadn’t taken off his cap inside. Now, he was making his way back to Watery Lane.

“What are you going to tell him?” Finn whispered.

“Anything but the truth,” Teddy mused, but she hadn’t decided on a strategy just yet.

Carefully, the two siblings followed their brother inside. But their stomachs dropped when they realised Arthur was talking to Aunt Polly and as he did, he reached upwards to take off his cap.

“No, no, no, no!” Teddy called out, but it was too late.

Polly’s mouth fell open at the sight of his green hair, but quickly narrowed her eyes at her niece, sensing the culprit at once.

“What?” Arthur asked, completely oblivious.

“You may want to sit down for this one...” Polly told him in a low voice.

“Someone tell me what the fuck has been going on!”

Suddenly, Teddy had a thought and exclaimed, “Can I cut your hair, Arthur?”

He took a swig from the bottle of rum, “Why the fuck do you want to cut my hair?”

“I want to be a hairdresser someday!” Teddy tried her most angelic smile.

“Theodora...” her aunt warned darkly, but Teddy ignored her, praying to God she’d survive both Arthur and Polly’s potential wrath.

“Please, Arthur? It’s been getting way too long and Tommy tells me we have to protect the good Shelby name.”

He reached up and felt at his hair. Nobody dared breathe. “Alright,” Arthur finally agreed, “but don’t fuck it up! I don’t want to walk around Birmingham looking like some bloody circus act.”

Finn almost choked.

“Great!” the twelve-year-old devil beamed, “I’ll get the scissors.”

But in the kitchen, Aunt Polly hissed at her, “You are going to explain this to me and it better be good, or I’ll make you regret even getting up this morning.”

She gulped, grabbed the scissors and took a deep breath. Then she draped a cloth around Arthur’s neck and started snipping. “Not too short!” he warned, but it had to be. Luckily, the roots were still ginger, so she didn’t have to go completely bald to save him, but long tufts started falling down all around him.

Pretty soon, all the green was gone and somehow, Arthur looked more like John than he’d ever had done.

But he wasn’t satisfied and as he felt at his head, he bellowed, “What the fuck did I tell you! Fucking hell, Teddy, you’ve probably made me look like some fucking choir boy!

“Just wear your cap,” Finn offered. “You look a lot better, Arthur.”

“Do I?”

Teddy grabbed the mirror off the wall and showed him. Arthur sighed deeply: he hated it. Still, he didn’t want his little sister to be hurt, so he said, “Maybe hairdressing’s not for you, Teddy. Or maybe you just need to practice some more, but not on me! But I can live with this...”

“Thanks, Arthur,” Teddy smiled and he had to smile back at her.

“Right!” Finn concluded, “Guess that’s that! Remember Teddy, Tommy wanted you to do that thing?”

“What thing?”

Finn eyed the green hair scattered around on the kitchen floor. It was only a matter of time before Arthur would notice. “You know,” he stumbled, “that thing... at the Garrison?”

Teddy suddenly understood her brother was trying to save her, once again, and nodded slowly. But one strict matriarch demanded, “What thing?”

She turned on her heels and lied, “Oh, nothing really. But Tommy wanted me to gather some of the betting slips and make sure the Garrison books are all in order, because I’m good with numbers, you know?”

“And what are the odds?” her aunt narrowed her eyes again.

“They’re not good.”

Polly nodded, “I’d say they’re looking very bad.”

Teddy sighed, “I agree.”

Arthur frowned, “Are we still talking about horses?”

“Yes,” both women replied in unison, even though they weren’t.

“Right,” Arthur shrugged, “Then fuck off, Teddy, and go and do as Tommy told you. Finn, clear up this mess.”

Quick as a flash, Teddy was out the door and Finn immediately gathered as much of the hair as he could, suddenly hopeful that Teddy was actually going to get away with it. Then he left as well.

Polly was left in the small kitchen with Arthur. As he felt at his hair again carefully, he muttered something about getting back to work. Polly meanwhile noticed just one tuft of hair still lying on the floor and she picked it up and stuffed it down the pocket of her skirt. She had no idea why she was even protecting her niece, but she was.

“Give me that.”

Polly looked up questioningly at Arthur, who had turned around again.

He held out a hand, “I’ll keep that.”

“So you did see.”

“As soon as she made the first cut.”

His aunt handed him the bit of hair and carefully Arthur tied a piece of string around it.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” she asked.

He shrugged, “The damage was already done.”

Polly smiled. In many ways, Arthur was the one that did surprise her the most.

“Are you going to tell her?”

“No,” he decided. “Let her think she got away with it.”

“She already thinks she’s brilliant,” Polly huffed, “That one always seems to think she can plan and talk her way out of anything.”

“And she’s bloody right, isn’t she?” he affirmed affectionately, before walking away.

“She has to learn some time!” Polly called after him, even though she knew it was no use. They worshipped the ground she walked on and nothing was going to change that, not even one harsh and determined aunt who sometimes feared the moment Teddy would have to venture out into the real world, where things weren’t so easily fixed. But let her keep her innocence just a little while longer, that’s what Arthur had meant and she knew it. She understood it even.

She would have to learn eventually, but evidently, not today.

*****

Masterlist

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apollosgiftofprophecy · 4 months ago

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The Copollogism Essays - Part 2: The Assassination Scene

Part 1 (The Tent) ~ Part 2 (The Assassination) ~ Part 3 (Lester's Reaction) ~ Part 4 (Leo's Questions/Seeing Commodus Again) ~ Part 5 (The Arena) ~ Part 6 (The Waystation) ~ Part 7 (The Yacht) ~ Part 8 (The Final Moment)

Analysis: Part 1 (Apollo and Commodus as Individuals) ~ Part 2 (Toxic Relationship?) ~ Part 3 (Codependent - Or Is It?) ~ Part 4 (Other Thoughts)

Oh ho ho ho. Here it is. The One You Have Been Waiting For.

A little personal background–

This was the scene that I remembered that made me pick the Trials of Apollo books back up last year.

It was this scene that brought me back into the fandom.

Everyone say thank you to this scene because it is a masterpiece and I sure damn well hope I do it justice.

Anyway. Let us begin~

I KNOW WHAT YOU are thinking. But, Apollo! You are divine! You cannot commit murder. Any death you cause is the will of the gods and entirely beyond reproach. It would be an honor if you killed me! I like the way you think, good reader. It’s true I had laid waste to whole cities with my fiery arrows. I had inflicted countless plagues upon humanity. Once Artemis and I slew a family of twelve because their mama said something bad about our mama. The nerve! None of that did I consider murder.

None of that, none of the deaths Apollo has caused, did he consider murder.

But Commodus’s he does.

This has always stuck out to me, even when I first read the books.

The praetorian prefect Laetus had pulled me aside only an hour ago: We failed at lunch. This is our last chance. We can take him, but only with your help. Marcia, Commodus’s mistress, had wept as she tugged at my arm. He will kill us all. He will destroy Rome. You know what must be done! They were right. I’d seen the list of names—the enemies real or imagined whom Commodus intended to execute tomorrow. Marcia and Laetus were at the top of the list, followed by senators, noblemen, and several priests in the temple of Apollo Sosianus.

Something that was pointed out by @amiti-art was how Apollo’s priests were set to be killed. This is baffling for a couple reasons: 1) Apollo is well known to deliver terrible punishments onto those who even treat his priests with disrespect (Agamemnon in The Iliad got a nice plague for his disrespect); and 2) Why would Commodus do this? Why would he specifically kill Apollo’s priests?

I suggested it could be a way to “get his attention” so to speak. Because remember, in Part 1, we know Apollo left after Marcus has died. And now, Commodus is deep into his paranoia and lashing out at everyone and everything he perceives as a threat.

Perhaps something triggered him to think the priests were some sort of threat, or maybe he’s so far in his delusions that he thinks he can have everything be “fixed” if he draws Apollo back to him. As we saw in Part 1, Commodus looked to Apollo first at the news of Marcus’s death— maybe even now, he’s trying to rebuild that bridge because everything’s falling apart.

If so…he did not think it through 😬 I mean… *eyes the plague Agamemnon got; Clytemnestra being killed by her own son for murdering Cassandra* yeah…things don’t end well for those who mess with the people in Apollo’s cult.

I pushed open the bronze doors of the emperor’s chambers. From the shadows, Commodus bellowed, “GO AWAY!” A bronze pitcher sailed past my head, slamming into the wall with such force it cracked the mosaic tiles. “Hello to you, too,” I said. “I never did like that fresco.”

*wheeze from alder* I get the feeling there was very casual banter in their relationship lol

Commodus knelt on the floor, clinging to the side of a sofa for support. In the opulence of the bedchamber with its silk curtains, gilded furniture, and colorfully frescoed walls, the emperor looked out of place—like a beggar pulled from some Suburra alley. His eyes were wild. His beard glistened with spittle. Vomit and blood spattered his plain white tunic, which wasn’t surprising considering his mistress and prefect had poisoned his wine at lunch.

This whole paragraph really gives you a glimpse into Commodus’s mindset, even if we don’t see his thoughts. He is quite literally at his wit’s end. His mistress and prefect have just tried to assassinate him. Everyone is against him. He is completely alone; no father, no lover.

Except Narcissus.

But if you could look past that, Commodus hadn’t changed much since he was eighteen, lounging in his campaign tent in the Danubian Forest. He was thirty-one now, but the years had barely touched him. To the horror of Rome’s fashionistas, he had grown his hair out long and had a shaggy beard to resemble his idol, Hercules. Otherwise he was the picture of manly Roman perfection. One might almost have thought he was an immortal god, as he so often claimed to be.

Not very important but short-haired teenaged Commodus canon 👍

Sike, this can be important because it is INTERESTING that Commodus deviates from the traditional Roman culture here. He grows his hair out, as well as a beard. Roman men didn’t typically do that.

But you know who does?

Greek men. Such as Heracles (which is why Commodus does so.)

I find this VERRRYYY interesting, especially paired with his relationship with Apollo. Because if you look at Commodus…he’s not very Roman, no? I’d say he’s more Greek-flavored than Roman.

Because here’s the deal: Besides the longer hair, Commodus (historically, at least) also liked to sing and dance. That was 100% accepted for men to do in Greece, but in Rome?

Rome had a very convoluted attitude towards singing and dancing. It was essentially “oh the upper class OBVIOUSLY can get SUPERB teachers for it, but if they're TOO GOOD AT IT they are NO BETTER THAN A WOMAN OR A SLAVE!!!!”

The kicker here is that the Greeks were typically slaves within Rome. They were regularly hired by the Roman elite to perform music and dances.

(Interesting how Apollo is their god, too.)

Out of all the Romans, out of the Roman elite…Apollo falls in love with the most Greek one he can find.

What’s even better is that Commodus continues the trend of ‘Apollo’s lovers are related to his domains’ because of music and dance.

That is what they bonded over. You bet Apollo made Commodus feel better over what he liked doing when the society he lived in looked down on it.

My poor, precious heart ��

“They tried to kill me,” he snarled. “I know it was them! I won’t die. I’ll show them all!” My heart ached to see him this way. Only yesterday, I’d been so hopeful. We’d practiced fighting techniques all afternoon. Strong and confident, he’d wrestled me to the ground and would have broken my neck if I’d been a regular mortal. After he let me up, we’d spent the rest of the day laughing and talking as we used to in the old days. Not that he knew my true identity, but still… disguised as Narcissus, I was sure I could restore the emperor’s good humor, eventually rekindle the embers of the glorious young man I’d once known. And yet this morning, he’d woken up more bloodthirsty and manic than ever.

Ouch. Owie. This hurts.

Time to discuss Apollo’s disguise now.

Narcissus, now, was a real person. But it appears in the RRverse, Narcissus was Apollo the whole time. And Apollo’s goal here was to, and I quote; “restore the emperor’s good humor [and] eventually rekindle the embers of the glorious young man I’d once known.”

Apollo initially disguised himself because he wanted to stop Commodus from going down his bloody, awful path. Apollo had been keeping such a close watch on what was happening that he knew things were getting bad enough to warrant his interference, with the hope of steering his former lover away from a dark fate.

*insert ‘I can fix him!’ meme here* ah, Apollo. If only you could RIP

Also wow, Commous wrestled Apollo— Apollo, who beat Ares in a wrestling match— to the ground? And would have broken his neck if he were mortal?

I’m guessing Apollo was holding back here, considering…well, considering the ending of this scene heh. But I doubt Apollo was a slouch even holding back, so Commodus is probably very good at hand-to-hand combat. Sheer brute force is exactly his style.

I approached cautiously, as if he were a wounded animal. “You won’t die from the poison. You’re much too strong for that.” “Exactly!” He pulled himself up on the couch, his knuckles white with effort. “I’ll feel better tomorrow, as soon as I behead those traitors!” “Perhaps it would be better to rest for a few days,” I suggested. “Take some time to recuperate and reflect.” “REFLECT?” He winced from the pain. “I don’t need to reflect, Narcissus. I will kill them and hire new advisors. You, perhaps? You want the job?”

It’s really telling how much Commodus trusts Apollo— that is to say, Narcissus— here.

It’s also telling how Apollo— his lover— is using his father’s words to get him to stop.

Marcus Aurelius’s advice is coming out of Apollo’s mouth, but Commodus has no idea; he does not know it’s Apollo telling him this.

Not until it’s too late, that is. When it’s revealed once and for all that he has no intention of stopping.

But it does make you wonder what Commodus would have done if he had known it was Apollo. Would the combined might of his father’s advice and his lover be enough to prevent him from killing more innocent people?

Or would it have only made things worse?

I did not know whether to laugh or cry. While Commodus concentrated on his beloved games, he turned the powers of state over to prefects and cronies… all of whom tended to have a very short life expectancy. “I’m just a personal trainer,” I said. “Who cares? I will make you a nobleman! You will rule Commodiana!” I flinched at the name. Outside the palace, no one accepted the emperor’s rechristening of Rome. The citizens refused to call themselves Commodians. The legions were furious that they were now known as Commodianae. Commodus’s crazy proclamations had been the final straw for his long-suffering advisors. “Please, Caesar,” I implored him. “A rest from the executions and the games. Time to heal. Time to consider the consequences.” He bared his teeth, his lips specked with blood. “Don’t you start too! You sound like my father. I’m done thinking about consequences!”

Apollo is once again putting on his Marcus Aurelius hat.

But once again…Commodus does not listen. He’s done listening to wise counsel. He’s done doing what other people have told him to do.

He’s emperor, after all.

Nobody can stop him. He’s blessed, after all. Who would even try?

My spirits collapsed. I knew what would happen in the coming days. Commodus would survive the poisoning. He would order a ruthless purge of his enemies. The city would be decorated with heads on pikes. Crucifixions would line the Via Appia. My priests would die. Half the senate would perish. Rome itself, the bastion of the Olympian gods, would be shaken to its core. And Commodus would still be assassinated…just a few weeks or months later, in some other fashion. I inclined my head in submission. “Of course, Caesar. May I draw you a bath?”

Read no further if you wish for a happy ending 😢

Commodus grunted assent. “I should get out of these filthy clothes.” As I often did for him after our workout sessions, I filled his great marble bath with steaming rose-scented water. I helped him out of his soiled tunic and eased him into the tub. For a moment, he relaxed and closed his eyes. I recalled how he looked sleeping beside me when we were teens. I remembered his easy laugh as we raced through the woods, and the way his face scrunched up adorably when I bounced grapes off his nose.

Their relationship was more carefree in nature. It was more teenager-esque, with Apollo even saying “when we were teens”, despite the fact he is merely a teen in body.

Even so…

I sponged away the spittle and blood from his beard. I gently washed his face. Then I closed my hands around his neck. “I’m sorry.” I pushed his head underwater and began to squeeze.

Apollo begins with gentleness. With cleaning him off. He doesn’t immediately kill him— perhaps to give both of them one last moment of peace.

But then that gentleness turns to murder.

Commodus was strong. Even in his weakened state, he thrashed and fought. I had to channel my godly might to keep him submerged, and in doing so, I must have revealed my true nature to him. He went still, his blue eyes wide with surprise and betrayal. He could not speak, but he mouthed the words: You. Blessed. Me.

Apollo is forced to reveal himself in all his glory— and in that moment, they are both aware of his betrayal. Commodus is floored by what he sees— by who he sees.

This isn’t merely his trainer who he has grown to trust.

This is his lover who he has loved for decades.

The lover who blessed and reassured him that everything would be fine.

But it’s not.

Apollo’s the one with the hands around his throat, and all Commodus can do is throw his promise back in his face: You. Blessed. Me.

*and this is the moment everyone knew: they started bawling*

Tissues, anyone?

The accusation forced a sob from my throat. The day his father died, I had promised Commodus: You will always have my blessings. Now I was ending his reign. I was interfering in mortal affairs—not just to save lives, or to save Rome, but because I could not stand to see my beautiful Commodus die by anyone else’s hands.

And even at the end, we can still see the toxicity that permeates their relationship.

Commodus took Apollo’s love and support for granted. He thought he could do anything he wished because he had the love and blessing of a god.

Apollo loved Commodus so much that he couldn’t stand the thought of someone else killing him. He could have kept his own hands clean of the kill, but he did not.

Because he wouldn’t be able to bear it to allow someone else to do the deed.

His last breath bubbled through the whiskers of his beard. I hunched over him, crying, my hands around his throat, until the bathwater cooled.

Even after Commodus is dead and gone, Apollo stays sitting there. Crying. He is utterly distraught by what he has done, and will continue to torment himself over it.

Perhaps even for eternity.

Britomartis was wrong. I didn’t fear water. I simply couldn’t look at the surface of any pool without imagining Commodus’s face, stung with betrayal, staring up at me.

That, my friends, is how you write an ending. That is how you write a tragic, doomed romance.

This is the deepest romance in all of Rick’s books. And we’ve only gotten through the flashback scenes.

We— and Rick— are merely getting warmed up.

#ramblings of an oracle #copollo #toa meta #toa analysis #the trials of apollo #trials of apollo #pjo apollo #toa apollo #toa commodos #apollodus #apollo x commodus #toa #pjo hoo toa

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lokisprettygirl · 2 years ago

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Under his influence (Post Avengers! Loki x female reader)

Read chapter 7 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 8

Summary : Loki is taken away from you and you fear that he'll forget you just like everyone else.

Warning: mention of psychological torture, bit of angst

So this was happening. Like really happening. You were standing in the middle of your apartment with two gods giving deathly glares to each other, if looks could kill they would both be dead right now.

"So i–" before you could finish your sentence Thor interrupted you. That was Thor, the god of thunder, the Asgardian god everyone lusted after, the man you never thought would be standing in your room someday.

"Are you tired of playing these childish games now brother?" He asked Loki and Loki could only smile in response.

"Games? I haven't even done anything"

"He's right" you mumbled as quietly as you could.

"You fled with the tesseract" Thor raised his voice and you were hoping Mrs Geller had remembered to take her pills today. Otherwise the field day she'd have with this tomorrow will be insane.

"I barely picked it up because it fell right by my feet, I was teleported here, did you want me to surrender myself knowing too well that you'd take me back to Asgard so I am trapped in that forsaken cell for the rest of my life?" Loki glared at him, his voice laced with mixture of anger and sadness so you grabbed his hand and gave him a comforting squeeze. His eyes softened immediately at the touch.

"You commenced a war on earth Loki, what did you think would happen to you? I'm here to take you back to the tower. Let us go now"

He stormed towards Loki so you got in front of him, you were trying to protect a powerful god from an equally powerful god. How smart did you have to be to do that?

"Look he's your brother alright, if you'd just sit down and talk to him about what he did and why he HAD to do it, you'd understand him better –"

"Lady y/n i would advise you not to speak on this matter –" He interrupted you again. For a prince he sure lacked manners.

"She will speak her mind, you daft ill-mannered rhinoceros. Have you forgotten that it's rude to interrupt a lady while she's speaking? Oh!! pardon me you never had such manners to begin with"

"Okay I am–" you were going to say something but then you turned around and grabbed Loki's hands to take him to the kitchen, you could feel Thor's eyes on you both and it made you uncomfortable.

"What is going to happen Loki I'm scared" your eyes teared up, all of this was nerve wracking for you, not knowing what they planned to do to him was terrifying. He cupped your cheeks and kissed your forehead, he could also feel Thor's eyes on him so that was making him act a little differently with you, he had never been one to indulge in such a display of affection before.

"They can not harm me darling, I am the youngest prince of Asgard, worst comes to worst I will be prisoned–"

"Lokiii" your eyes welled up more so he hugged you as tightly as he could, he knew he had to see this someday, he just didn't know it would come so soon. Before he fell asleep he thought about things he wanted to do with you tomorrow but he knew he won't be seeing your pretty face first thing in the morning any longer"Do you perhaps want to accompany me?" He asked you so you pulled away to look at him.

"Lo i.."

"I know it is not appropriate of me to be asking you for this but I just –"

"Stark said she can not come–" Thor chimed in to give his two cents.

"Are you his slave now? Are you willing to accept your truer purpose in life?" Loki answered him, even the way they conversed with each other gave you snappy siblings energy.

"I can't lo.. I have a job here and my family.. I have never been to NYC and ..it's just too much" you placed your hand on your face to control your sobs but it was futile, you really wanted to follow him but you felt afraid, you had never been someone to do something so impulsive in life. Maybe that's why you were left behind while everyone else moved forward and succeeded.

"I understand, just know that I will get back to you as soon as I can" he said to you. He wished you'd have agreed to come with him but he knew he was asking for too much too soon.

"You promise? Promise me that you'll be okay and that I'll see you again"

"I will be back to you i am giving you my word darling" you were going to kiss him but your eyes met with Thor again.

"Can you turn around creep?" You screamed at Thor, his eyes widened for a moment before he turned his back to you both, as soon as he did you got on your tip toes and kissed Loki as passionately as you could. Of Course this was happening to you now, you couldn't have kept him forever anyways, you just feared that he will forget all about you as soon as you're out of his sight, earth was filled with gorgeous women, of course he'd find someone else once he's not trapped in this bubble with you.

"Will you give me a call?" You asked him so he nodded. You sobbed as you felt your heart breaking.

"Why now? You said you knew about this, why didn't you come get him before? Why can't you just let him be? He had suffered enough" You stormed towards Thor so he took a step back.

"It is not my fault that my arrival in your city made national news, they assumed that I knew something, i couldn't lie anymore, maybe I should hone the art of lying. Loki can help"

Loki rolled his eyes at the comment. He was so used to such remarks that it didn't even affect him.

"You're not going to poke a hole in my ceiling right?" You asked Thor so he looked up.

"We shall get back to the roof then"

You grabbed Loki's hand as you all went upstairs, you couldn't stop staring at him, the thought of him not being there in your apartment made you feel horrible, it felt like a breakup, the nastiest breakup you have ever had. Knowing you won't get to cuddle him or kiss him, probably ever again, just made you not want to exist anymore. When did your feelings get this intense for him?

"Princess?"

"Mmmm" you mumbled because you knew you'd cry if you'd even try to talk to him right now .

"Promise me that you will not cry in my absence" Well he wanted you to cry it seems.

"Do you want me to lie?" You looked at him and his heart clenched. He didn't want you to cry because he knew he wouldn't be here to hold you and comfort you. As you all reached the roof Thor waved his hammer and you heard the thundering,

"Wait a moment–" Loki spoke, he wanted to look like an Asgardian before he leaves, one fluck of his fingers and he looked the same as he did the first day you had met him, his hair had gotten longer though.

"Am I ever going to see you again or I'll just be a forgotten memory–" you looked down because the words made you feel choked up.

"You will see me princess, you will see all of me I promise, what you have done for me can never be compared, what I feel for you is irreplaceable" he cupped your cheeks and kissed you softly. His eyes were teary too, all he wanted to do was take you back to that small apartment of yours and snuggle you but it was a luxury he could no longer afford. "Farewell for now, my beloved" he took your hand in his and pressed a small kiss before he stepped away from you.

"If you hurt him, I don't care if it's just a scratch, I swear to god I'll tell everyone about that thing" you said to Thor and he snickered in response.

"What thing?" Thor questioned

"The thing" Loki smirked

"You told her?" Thor glared at him

You smiled at Loki and he returned it. And then they were both gone. Your lo was gone, you couldn't see him and you felt empty without him, you felt hollow, your feet felt stuck on the ground beneath you, you didn't even want to go back to that apartment without him. Why didn't you go with him when he asked you to?

"Ohh goddd" you sat down on the floor because your knees felt too weak to keep you standiy. And then you cried for what seemed like hours, you missed him already, you missed him being close to you. When you entered your apartment it almost made you pass out, you could see him everywhere still, the number of times you wished for him to just appear out of nowhere was intense. The bed smelled like him and though it gave you a moment of relief when you laid down on it, the longer you stayed there the harder it got for you to breathe, your arms craved to hold him and knowing that you won't be able to do any of those things only made you cry yourself to sleep.

In the morning you woke up suddenly and turned the news on to see if there was anything about him. A part of you feared you would be sent to jail but you knew you hadn't done anything wrong. Right?

Everytime you looked around you just saw him, you saw him on that bed sleeping like a baby, you saw him reading his book on that sofa, you saw him watching the tv with that adorable look on his face everytime you came back home.

You waited for three days to see something about him on tv but you saw nothing, he had made no attempt to communicate with you and that kind of made you angry but then the worries kicked in. What had they done to him?

You hardly ate, your body felt sick all the time and you just hoped that they were not hurting him.

"Why won't he call..please call" you mumbled in frustration and then it hit you, he didn't have your number, he never needed it. "Ohh God" you were starting to freak out but then you remembered that they could easily get your information if they actually wanted to, they haven't even tried to contact you to ask anything about him and that bothered you, he lived with you for more than two months. Weren't they just a tad bit curious?

"Stop glaring at me reindeer games, this is for your own good"

Loki glared at Stark again for what felt like the umpteenth time in just a matter of an hour. It has been three days since he had been locked up here in this tower. He desperately wanted to communicate with you but they weren't allowing him, apparently there was a legal case against him by the state of New York and he wasn't allowed to do anything, they did give him a lawyer though.

He was grilled by the Avengers for hours when they got him there and they tried to pipe the information out of him so he just told them everything he knew, right from the the moment he fell off the bifrost, he told them how he was rescued by the men of the mad Titan Thanos and how they tortured him for a year before they sent him to do his bidding. The shock on their faces was worth sharing the embarrassing ordeal he had suffered through.

A press conference was to be held three days later where Nick Fury would introduce him as the newest Avenger, all of this felt like a joke to him but one of the conditions he had imposed was that he'd be able to communicate with you and they had promised him that after the press conference he would be free to make one phone call, he felt like a prisoner still but he was happy that they weren't taking him back to Asgard. He didn't want to be anywhere he couldn't get in touch with you.

He just hoped you weren't feeling hurt or betrayed by him, he didn't want to abandon you or make you feel how other people had done before. He missed you every second of his life, at night he couldn't sleep because the nightmares kept him up, he would always wake up with teary eyes and it was only the thought of your comforting embrace that would lull him back to sleep. He missed your warm body next to his cold one. He yearned for you with all his heart and he hoped you were missing him as much as he did.

"Thanks a ton for telling me about that Minnesota gal, my publicist is very impressed by the story" Tony said to Thor and that perplexed him, why was this publicist person impressed?

"Why?"

"A tortured escaped fugitive running from the world ends up in a random girl's apartment and she agrees to hide him? That's a movie, a blockbuster movie" Tony explained.

"And what it is that you're planning to do with the story, are you going to call her here?" Thor was a bit taken by your intimidating personality but he knew Loki adored you and that was enough of a reason for him to care about you, even if just a little.

"You'll see at the press conference" Tony winked at him before walking away.

You were in the gym when you saw the news. They were talking about Loki and Thanos and everything he had told you, also the things he hadn't told you yet. He was tortured for a year, that's why he had those nightmares, your heart clenched for him and all you wanted to do was comfort him and give him plenty of forehead kisses but he wasn't there with you anymore.

"Oh my god is that for real? I think they're making it up to make us feel bad about him" Lyla commented so you rolled your eyes.

"He's superrr hot though" Stacy spoke

Well, that you agreed with.

Apparently there will be a public press conference that will be broadcasted live tomorrow. You felt a surge of relief because at least they weren't trying to hurt him but then you felt angry, why hadn't he called you then? Did he not miss you?

You went home and cried again, of course you got so attached so quickly to a man who wasn't attainable. It wasn't the first time you had done that but at least you weren't in love with those guys.

"He's going to fall in love with someone else" you mumbled as you looked at yourself in the mirror.

Of Course, that's exactly was going to happen, the first guy you liked was happily married now, the next one found his girlfriend while he was with you, the last ex of yours also found a girlfriend right after he broke up with you even though he claimed that he couldn't get lucky with girls and you were the ultimate dream come true for him and there would never be another you. You were like a blessing for these guys because you entered their lives and bam they were meeting the love of their lives left, right and center.

Maybe you were the problem here. Maybe you didn't deserve to keep men in your life. If those midgardian men were able to find someone so quickly then you didn't expect a god like him to wait around for you. He was probably getting himself sandwiched between the models that Tony Stark hung around with, that Ironman was a problematic guy, you didn't have to dig too deep to figure that out.

Thankfully you didn't have to work the next day so you made a cup of tea and sat down on the sofa to watch the press conference. You just wanted to see him even though you knew it would only hurt you further. You just wanted to see if he was ok.

"Brother, do not say anything you're not supposed to say" Thor told him so Loki rolled his eyes. He saw Anthony walking towards him with a tall blonde female by his side and it confused him.

"Loki ..meet Melisaa, you can call her Mel for short, is that correct?" Tony looked at Melissa and she smiled as she kissed his cheek then she turned her attention towards Loki.

"Well I think we need to have one conversation at least before the conference" She grabbed his hand and he was so confused, so was Thor, she took him away with her and Thor glared at Tony

"What is this? Is this some sort of bribe?" He questioned Tony.

"No it's for his public image, you see people don't trust him. Obviously. They need to trust him and whats the better way to reel them in than a human girl dating him"

"Dating? Are you out of your mind? He fancies lady y/n..from Minesotta"

"Yeah, my publicist looked her up. You see, she ain't it" Tony gave him a look of disgust as if you were beneath these people, he didn't think of you like that, he just found you annoying "He needs someone attractive, someone more presentable. Trust me a taste of Melissa and he won't even remember this lady of yours" Before Thor can speak further into this matter Tony walked away from him.

Loki didn't know why Melisaa was talking to him about you, she kept asking him questions about the things that happened the day he had invaded your apartment, however he was more than happy to talk about you with someone, he missed you alot, especially in this moment, he had to face all these people and all these strangers scared him a little. All he wanted to do was hold your hand, if you were here he'd just press his head on your chest and just have you comfort him the way you used to do.

He remembered that day he met you for the first time, you both were complete strangers but he had never felt so taken by a stranger before. You made him feel at home, something he didn't have anymore.

"Loki let's go" His lawyer told him so he nodded and Melissa hooked her arms with him to take him with her, the gesture confused him even more. Why was she there with him?

The conference went okay, he was able to apologize and speak his truth, he knew people of midgard won't forgive him so easily, there were also things he needed to discuss with these Avengers. Two Tony Starks and two Captains, why nobody was concerned about that? Why weren't they concerned about Thanos?"

You watched him on the tv and it made you cry furiously on that ugly sofa, he was so pretty and so soft in that dark blue suit he had worn, you couldn't even believe that you were blessed enough to have that godly man in your arms every night like that. You noticed the modelesque looking woman beside him and it made you worry. Did he find someone already or was it just for appearance purposes?

"Loki, hi this is Patricia from times now, you had disappeared for two months with something as valuable as the tesseract, where were you hiding all this time?" He was going to answer but a woman who introduced herself as Dalia came forward instead, whatever you heard next only made you want to rip your hair out. You flipped the channel but it was everywhere, the news had spread like a wildfire. You stopped pressing the button of the remote on some Entertainment channel and the more you heard about the situation, the angrier it made you feel.

"They say love can find you in the strangest of places and the new Avenger aka Loki the Asgardian god can probably relate. From last two months we were wondering where the certain god had disappeared to, shockingly enough, the tesseract, the powerful bundle of energy teleported him to an apartment in New York City which belonged to a local model named Malissa McKay, we got in touch with Malissa herself to get her reaction and it's adorable how their relationship developed in the time period"

You saw the model Malissa and she revealed how she threw a knife at him as she was in the kitchen looking for her salad when he came out of nowhere and how he told her that she didn't need that stuff because she was perfect the way she was. Your eyes teared up more and more as she continued to talk about him.

How dare he do that to you? How dare he agreed to replace you as if you meant nothing to him?

How dare he broke your heart like that when he knew what he meant to you?

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

Ooppps

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#loki x female reader #loki #loki x reader fluff #loki x reader angst #loki x reader #loki x reader insert #loki x reader fic #loki x you #post avengers loki #canon divergent au

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byizoyas · 1 year ago

Text

honkai star rail ; drabbles

2023. byizoyas — pls do not plagiarize or repost and claim as yours ! thank you very much :)

✘ sfw. sharing a dance with your ex boyfriend ✘ blade x gn!reader

the moment you stepped into the large crowded room was the moment you realized you just made a mistake when agreeing to come.

a few months ago, you would’ve been enchanted by the idea of wearing a fancy dress, eating and drinking for free while partying with friends you would lose time to meet up with after that.

the music wasn’t too bad, even though it wasn’t your favorite genre and everyone was pretty well dressed. but a few details caught your attention immediately.

first, your friends didn’t arrive at the party yet.

second, you weren’t fully free; the teachers were staring and obviously controlling the situation; but you didn’t expect less since it was organized by the college and they had to make sure y’all were responsible.

finally, your ex was here. and the moment you stepped in, you caught his eye; sharing a king and awkward eye contact.

you couldn’t really read the expression on his face now as it was quite dark in here. but you never managed to do so even when his face was right in front of yours.

blade was mysterious. a little too much actually and that was the main reason you guys broke up.

you cut the moment when you stared back at serval who walked towards you.

‘y/n ! you’re rocking that outfit.’ she exclaimed before patting you gently on the shoulder. she stared at your face and noticed the light makeup you put on before coming.

‘appreciate the effort.’ she said, and you both chuckled, knowing well it wouldn’t happen again. not that you didn’t like putting on some makeup, you just didn’t do it really often as it took some time you didn’t have.

she looked around the room and came closer to your ear to whisper a few things and making sure you’d hear her.

‘will you let me put your name on the box ?’

you frowned.

that was a pretty unique question and you didn’t understand its true meaning. but she quickly explained that two people would be picked up from two bowls to share a dance, with blindfolded eyes. and if you were being honest with yourself; you weren’t really interested but it seemed to matter to her and since she asked to you personally; you had no idea but to agree.

‘fine. put the paper with my name.’

‘thank you !’ she said hugging you before quickly running away.

you genuinely had no idea what she would win by adding your name to it; but as long as your friend was happy, you were fine with it. and there was a really small chance of you being chosen, right ?

at least that was what you thought, because time passed, your friends had arrived. you were partying and had almost forgot about this whole dance sharing thing.

next thing you knew you were blindfolded, standing in the middle of the room and pushed in the arms of the other person chosen.

‘y/n.’

‘how do you know it’s me. we weren’t supposed to be aware.’

blade chuckled. his hand tightened slightly and he killed the slight distance you had out between the two of you. with a hand holding yours while the other was pulling your waist closer, until you could almost feel his breath tickle your skin, you guys were now the center of the attention. you had no idea how many pairs of eyes were on you right now.

blade whispered against your skin; making you shiver again. ‘perhaps i know your body perfectly well and i do not need my eyes to recognize you.’

you sighed. you couldn’t say you despised him flirting with you; after all it did have its charm and you were still infinitely attracted to blade.

but you two weren’t a thing anymore and these words might mean nothing to him. after you mentally scolded yourself for almost falling for his words; you finally replied.

‘this is the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever said.’

blade laughed. that was a genuine laugh and you could tell by the slight vibration of his chest against yours.

‘alright. perhaps i changed all the papers in the bowls by yours and mine.’

‘why would you do that ?’ you instinctively said; until the realization hit you.

was serval a part of his plan ? she was your friend and you didn’t remember her sharing a single conversation with blade, ever. but everything could happen during these parties.

you were probably overthinking this way too much, but to have your body sticked to your exe’s wasn’t really your plan when you got dressed for the party earlier.

‘cat got your tongue ?’ blade teased you. he used to do that a lot around you. with the others he kept that stoic face and seriousness but with you, he could be himself and he loved it.

he missed it. he missed you. and what he said was the truth. he, indeed, switched all papers in the pots to make sure the two of you would share this dance.

because he would hate to dance with another person; but he’d hate even more to see another person holding you in their arms.

it did take some time; but at the moment he realized, he couldn’t let his only occasion to make up for his mistakes fly away. and so, he did what he had to do to have a special moment with you.

‘shut up.’ you only found to say after you kept thinking of it all. ‘why did you do that blade ?’

you gulped, asking yourself whether to add the words you had in mind or not. but it did slip out of your mouth. ‘are we not nothing anymore these days ?’

it did hurt to say it. it was said as a rhetorical question; yet you craved an answer.

‘our eyes are covered y/n.’

‘and..? what am i supposed to understand ?’ you asked, starting to get quite impatient by now.

the music around you made it almost impossible for other people to hear your words especially since you whispered in each other’s ears.

‘i miss you. i want you back y/n.’

now you understood his plan. blade always found it hard to express himself. the main reason you guys weren’t together anymore was that lack of communication about his own feelings.

and now he was hiding under a blindfold to speak his heart out. you couldn’t hide your disappointment, and took a distance, breaking the dance and the moment you two were sharing.

you took the blindfold off your face throwing it into blade’s hands. ‘blade. if you cannot be a man and look into my eyes when confessing; then I do not want to hear you.’

you sounded rude; almost cruel. he was struggling and that you understood it more than anyone; but you were always here for him. you’ve been waiting for ages for him to confess, and it never happened.

to hear him do it in the middle of other students only because his eyes were hidden almost felt disrespectful to you.

‘i’m done.’ you said while turning around to leave. you never were much into making a scene in front of other people but some of them had stopped caring by now.

‘wait.’ blade almost commanded you to remain unloving and close to him when he grabbed your wrist, forbidding you to leave that place; forbidding you to leave him.

‘y/n. look at me.’ he let down the two blindfolds, turning your face, his king and thin fingers caressing your cheeks really gently.

his fingers were cold compared to the ambient temperature around you; but it almost felt electric. as if all the tension between you two was busting out and y’all were freeing yourselves from unsaid words and undone things.

‘you’re beautiful. you’re beautiful and i.. I love you.’

his cheeks were almost the same color as his red eyes by now. it was the very first time he said these words to you. the very first time he said these words ever and it felt special.

you kept staring at his face. his y comfort was visible yet he went out of his comfort zone only to prove his attachment to you.

you threw yourself into his arms, burying your face into his neck and dropping kisses against his burning skin.

eventually the song came to an end, but the night was far from over and after many times apart, you needed to feel, hear, and love him in every possible way.

a/n. - this is rlly far away from perfect, even away from great but i won’t find strength to modify it later and i kinda like it that way, messy and free to imagine. I love blade sm, tbh I almost wrote him as myself rn bc this is some shit i would do kfwkkfkf my communication skills suck so this is a way to cope ig.. anyway talking a lot for not much thing. 🥴

#byizoyas.#blade #honkai star rail scenarios #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail #hsr #hsr x reader #hsr scenarios #blade x y/n #blade x reader #blade scenarios #blade drabbles #blade x you #hsr x y/n #blade fluff #hsr fluff

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softquietsteadylove · 24 days ago

Note

Love that broken up au. Maybe we can get some more? 🥹

love your works.🫶🏻

"Wow, it really looks the same."

It felt the same, watching Gil walk into Seri's old flat. It was hers now, but it felt just like when they used to all spend time together. Of course, it wasn't just her breakup with Gil which had put a damper on that. Sersi and Ikaris' split had been far more damaging.

Perhaps that was part of why Thena had always wanted to keep her split with Gil as civil as possible. Despite it being the single most devastating event of her life.

"I like what you've done with it, though," he smiled, pointing at some of the small additions she'd made, things on the wall or little historical things on the shelves.

She smiled, hanging up her coat, "thanks. You know how to make yourself at home."

"Sure," he tossed over his shoulder, slipping his hands in his jeans pockets as he drifted aimlessly into the living room.

Thena bent to get her heels off. She smiled; Gil had taken off his boots and carefully lined them up with the rest of her shoes on the doormat. It was nothing short of heartwarming, and that was not what she needed to be feeling at the moment.

They were two friends--just two people, reconnecting. It didn't have to be more than that. She had kissed him, and then he had gone and really kissed her back. But she shouldn't have. They weren't here to get back together.

But she had missed him. Seeing him in front of her again made her feel it in her bones how much she had missed everything about him. It was like seeing the glow of home after being away in the dark and cold.

Gil turned back to her, hovering in the middle of the room, wondering what she would do.

She tried not to seem like she was fidgeting as she moved sideways into the kitchen. "Have a seat. Do you want tea--or coffee?"

"You have coffee?" he asked immediately.

She rifled needlessly in her tea jar, facing away from him. "I may not drink it, but everyone else does."

It was a good enough excuse. And it kept her from having to admit that it was because she associated the smell of it with him, and every once in a while she would unseal the airtight container just for a smell of it. Because that would not be the behaviour of someone who was completely over her ex-boyfriend.

She put the kettle on, scooping some coffee for Gil and tea for herself. "You still drink it black?"

"Yep," he grinned back at her. He sat himself on the far end of her couch, leaning against the armrest. "Brings back memories, huh?"

Perhaps too many. But if he could reminisce about happier times then so could she (she decided). She left the kettle to boil and moved into the living room with him. "It certainly does."

"I remember when Sersi first got this place," Gil chuckled, crossing his arms and angling himself towards her at the other end. "All of us helping her move in."

"It was quite a day," Thena smiled at the memory. She could recall flashes of them all together, making light work of things, helping before things became complicated and their careers had completely consumed some of their lives. "I knew Ikaris was disappointed that she asked us to help as well."

"Guy was so obvious," Gil shook his head, rolling his eyes. He snorted, "gave me and Druig attitude all day because of it."

"That does rather sound like him," Thena lamented about her cantankerous brother. Not that she could claim to be any less unpleasant.

"I'm glad she stayed in this place," Gil added somewhat more sullenly, "after they split."

Their breakup had been...messy. There was an animosity there that hadn't escaped any of their friend group, no matter how much Sersi had attempted to keep their private affairs private. "I am too. I told him he was lucky I didn't kill him myself, but Sersi always insisted it wasn't his fault."

Gil scoffed, as did she. He turned himself more towards her, even scooched closer to her on the couch. "Did he ever tell you...?"

"No," she shook her head. It was no lie, if he had, she would have told Gil at least. "He still maintains they simply drifted apart until there was no repairing it. Unfortunately, I am well aware that he can keep things to himself to such a degree that he even he forgets then."

She was like that too.

But Gil didn't point any fingers. He shrugged one of his massive shoulders, "We've all got our own stuff to sort out. Maybe it was best for them that they did it apart from each other."

That was what they had ultimately decided for themselves, too--that there was too much else consuming them to give their relationship the care and time it deserved. She scooched closer to him as well. "I agree."

"But hey, I like Dane," Gil brightened again, hoping to draw up the mood. "Seems like a nice guy, maybe kind of quiet."

She smiled. She did like Dane, and he seemed like a good match for Sersi--so good she was ready to move in with someone for the first time since Ikaris. "Everyone is quiet standing next to you."

Gil laughed from his belly. On her bad days, she would wonder why it was always so loud. Now, she yearned to hear more of it. "Guilty, but I don't think that's it. He's more...thoughtful, like he really thinks about what he says before he says it."

She laughed faintly, unable to resist Gil's natural, easy charisma. "I have found that as well. Dane is considerate in a way I don't think my brother is capable."

She sometimes wondered if she was capable of it.

"You seen her lately--Sersi?" Gil asked, moving closer again. She did the same, merely to hear him better. "I haven't gotten to catch up with her since - probably - a few months ago?"

"I saw her a week ago, maybe two," Thena confirmed. They were approaching the line between the two long cushions which composed her modestly sized sofa. She didn't know what would happen when they met in the middle. "She's doing well. Her classroom is already decorated for the coming holidays."

"It's almost two months away!" Gil squawked, but then laughed again, offering her ears a deserved enrichment. "I should have known, she loves that stuff."

She did. Sersi was much like Gil in how warm they were and the gentle nature their hearts shared. Thena had often wondered how a sweet soul like Sersi had ended up with her adamant and immovable twin brother. When she got together with Gil, she had to wonder the same thing, but no longer wanted the answer.

"Even the children have told her it's too early," she added, recalling the devastation on Sersi's face even just recounting the story. "She's handled the transition from younger children to pre-teens well, though."

"Dane teaches sixth, right?" Gil asked, to which she nodded. "She won't admit it, but I still think she agreed to teach a higher grade because her new class would be across the hall from Dane's."

That was exactly the reason. She had drunkenly confessed it to her and Makkari late one girls' night. But Thena kept her lips sealed, in the metaphorical sense, "I suppose we'll never know."

"I'll get it out of her one day," he shrugged. He had always been somewhat of an older brother type within their friend group. It had always been something she admired about him. Even as an only child, he had a strong sense of protectiveness. It had always been attractive to her. "Thena?"

"Hm?"

"Water's boiling," he pointed.

As soon as he did, she realised the water was, in fact, screaming throughout the apartment. She rushed to take it off the burner, alarmed that she hadn't been aware of it in the slightest.

She poured it over their drinks, trying to calm her flustered heart. There was no reason for her to be so unnerved--they were just two old...companions. They were catching up, convalescing in a friendly way. There was nothing on the line, here.

But then why did she feel she had so much more to lose?

After making sure her hands weren't shaking, she picked up the mugs and padded back to the coffee table. She set hers down first. She smiled again; Gil had pulled out coasters for both of them. When he had developed these habits was beyond her. "And for you."

"Thanks." His hands rose to accept the mug from her. He didn't have to, and she almost told him not to let his hands get burned. But he had always shown off how much endurance his hands really had. He let his palm take the bottom of the mug while his fingers brushed against hers to secure the handle.

She had once asked if he still had the sensation of touch in his hands, and then he had proven to her that he very much did.

She rushed to sit down again, avoiding a look that she really doubted he gave all of his friends. She cleared her throat, reaching for her mug. "So, you hired some new help at the restaurant?"

He puffed through his nose, the steam from his coffee bending from it. He gulped down the boiling hot liquid without so much as blinking. "Yeah--finally, I mean. It's nice to have the extra help, and they're actually pretty decent at things."

"Hm," she offered lightly. She also took a sip, mostly to occupy her hands and her mouth. Her tongue got terribly burned from the heat of it but she kept quiet. "Did you ever hear from the friends you abandoned the other night?"

When they had run into each other and spontaneously gotten a late night coffee and then kissed?

"Yeah, they gave me some shit for it, but whatever," he waved off easily, taking more sips steadily. "I mean I'm not a young, dumb twenty-something. I don't think I even like partying with those guys anymore, they're just the only ones my schedule could actually align with."

Because they were always up for going out and getting drunk, their own jobs be damned. They didn't have early morning prep, or classes, or papers to edit.

"Did you mention," Thena paused, wondering if even asking the question was really a good idea. She shifted in her seat somewhat. They were awfully close to that line between them. "Running into me?"

Gil also looked away, rubbing the back of his neck. "No, I, uh, just said I ran into a friend."

"Hm," she nodded, trying to disguise her anxious habit of playing with her hair by looking back into the kitchen. "Maybe for the best."

"Yeah," he moved that final last bit. he was all but sitting on the crack between the cushions, now. "Uh, Thena..."

"Maybe-"

"Would you-"

They both blurted it out at the same time, again. She set her mug down, although it left her hands vulnerable. She clasped them together. "Sorry, you go."

He chuckled, reaching for her hand. "Look, I don't...really know what this is either."

Her heart hammered.

"But that's okay, right? We don't have to figure that out right away?" He asked her genuinely, looking hopeful, although she wasn't sure what answer he really wanted.

She wanted to be cynical and believe this was his way of not wanting to label things despite their complicated history. Perhaps that failed relationship of his hadn't been his last foray into dating. Meanwhile she hadn't managed to conjure a single warm feeling for anyone but the man in front of her.

But she also didn't know what this meant for them. And she wasn't ready for him to find out that he was still the greatest love of her life, and that she had been prepared to bear that knowledge for the rest of her single life.

"Right," she agreed, although she sounded breathless. He had a point, though. She also wouldn't know what to say about them seeing each other, no matter in what capacity. They weren't getting back together, but she wouldn't say they were denying that it could happen either. At least, she wasn't, but she also couldn't afford to let her hopes get too high.

"Okay then," he smiled. It was so warm, and he always spoke so softly with her. His hand laid over hers more heavily, squeezing her fingers. "Is this okay?"

She nodded, and tilted her head up into the gentle kiss. For people not getting back together, the number of times they had kissed was getting awfully high. But she couldn't help but savour them, seeing how she didn't have the power to resist them anyway.

#Thenamesh Breakup AU #thank you so much for the ask!!!#I hope you like it!#I'm so happy people wanted more of this one #I love the exes to lovers to almost kind of secret dating?#the drama!#I mean they won't call it that #they're figure it out and all #definitely they were over each other and are rediscovering that spark #they totally didn't spend an entire year and a half obsessing over their breakup #Thena didn't spend an entire month just lying around her new apartment #she totally didn't need a stronger prescription for sleep pills because not having Gil with her makes her night terrors worse #she totally doesn't keep coffee around just to remind herself of how he smelled #what that's insane anyway #Gil's just as guilty #he sorts his shoes neatly keeps his shelves clean #Thena keeps a container in the fridge for organic waste #only after parting they've picked up each other's little habits #because they were also right person at the wrong time #but maybe the time is now???#we'll just have to see #I say as if I'm not writing it and fully intend for there to be more

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thequietkid-moonie · 1 month ago

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Sharing a darling

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Naoko & Kazuya ] [ Pumpkin Night ]

⚠️ Yandere, I don't support nor try to romanticize this toxic behaivor, is just for entretaiment

⚠️ This contain heavy spoilers

I wasn't able to not write about the way across the main story, my mind just told me that it was a blasphemy to do it soooo this is write since the start of the manga... sorry... I love it anyways, hope you enjoy it too dear reader 🖤

It isn't too surprising that the two of them end up falling in love with you, it has being only the three of you for a long time after all. The first who catched feeling for you was Naoko, you were so kind to her being her friend, never judging her and, perhaps, even sharing her likings, it was just matter of time for her to love you, while for Kazuya it take a little longer, he was drag around by Naoko along with you, it was thanks to her that you two met and for him was also just matter of time for him to see how of a beautiful person you truly are, catch feelings for you too

Naoko was well aware of her feeling for you and embrace them with a smile, and it was also her who noticed the growing feelings of Kazuya for you, it was a surprise and it make her nervous at first, acting a little possesive and pouty when he was around you but after a sometime of thinking she just realice that Kazuya will not dare to do anything against you nor her, besides, Kazuya is the only one person she trust enough to let her darling with

Slowly both grow to have a silent agreement to share you since both like you with the same intensity and the other is the only one who they trust. Even when they felt like living a dream life that beautiful dream was soon broken the moment Naoko was taken away to the mental hospital. It was this whole situation what lead Kazuya to finally realice his feelings, he have lost one of the people he cares the most and nothing assure that those jerks wouldn't go against you too, leading him to me more protective over you and even paranoid

Kazuya spend all his time at your side, cursing himself for being a coward who wasn't able to protect Naoko, promising to himself that this time he will protect you with his life, slowly taking you apart from everyone for feeling paranoid, but still trying his best to keep you happy at his side

When Pumpkin Night arrived and started its hunting he was even more scared, he was scare that this person may try to kill you like with the others, feeling his heart stop everytime you were separate from him. But it was Naoko's stubborness that end up leading her to aproach you and reveal herself to you and Kazuya, wanting nothing more than have you in her arms again and tell you how much she had missed you, even if her hands are now bloodstained she is still the same Naoko who loves you with her whole life, she even thanks Kazuya for taking such good care of you

Still, the little dream was broke again when Naoko was almost killed, Kazuya end up finishing what Naoko started due her paranoic state, he was blaming himself for every that have happened and if he wants to stop being a coward he needs to finish the job, for yours and their sake

Being away from you was a torture for both, even if Naoko lost her memory for a while she knew something was missing, and Kazuya wanted nothing but destroy the mental hospital for keeping him away from you, and, honestly, it was just because you were with Matsui that Naoko found the strength to fight to free Kazuya, she knew that he loves you as much as she does and it would be unfair to leave him suffering like this after all he has done for both, so Naoko promised you to come back to you along with Kazuya so the three of you will be able to finally live your happy ever after (and threating Matsui to make sure nothing bad happen to you)

After all the mess that have happened during the battle in the mental hospital the first thing Naoko and Kazuya did was run to your side, taking you in their arms and crying their heart out, both expressing how much they have miss you and how much they love you, how you are the only light of hope that have being leading them to continue and how they can now life together

Honestly, since the start you have being dragged for them to their lifes and that will not change, you have no option nor room to protest (let alone after all what happened), now that Naoko and Kazuya finally have you nothing and no one will be able to set you apart again, both will make sure of that

Naoko and Kazuya cares so deeply for each other that are able to work perfectly together for the sake of their beloved darling, both know that the other love you with the same intensity and wil do everything to protect you, so they have nothing to fear. Normally they don't feel jealous of each other, they are completely willing to share, but if one feels like being left behind they will express it imediatly, while Naoko gets pouty and touchy Kazuya gets more possesive, holding you in his arms and covering you from everything else, but they can easily clear their problems

Naoko and Kazuya are completely capable to share you with each other, but only them, no one else is allowed to even get close to you (the only exception is babyface and still Kazuya tent to put himself between you two), you are allowed to talk to the others and relate to them but they hang by a thread, if they do as much as thinking on doing something weird or get too close they quickly get punished, Naoko and Kazuya will not hesitant to get violent to anyone who dares to get between all of you (even if is their ally, they have to learn that you are untochable, by the good or the bad)

Despite being kidnapted and insolated by the rest of the world Naoko and Kazuya are loving and really caring, they are living their happy ever after and they want you to be happy too, willing to fulfill any wish you have (as long as it doesn't involve leaving them), you can do whatever you want as long as you include them in your plans

#pumpkin night #pumpkin night x reader #naoko kirino #naoko kirino x reader #naoko x reader #kazuya makino #kazuya makino x reader #kazuya x reader #yandere naoko kirino #yandere kazuya makino #x reader #x gn reader #manga x reader

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apocalypticavolition · 10 months ago

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Let's (re)Read The Great Hunt! Chapter 34: The Wheel Weaves

What's in the box? Some people already know and some people don't. As a general rule, if you're in the "don't" category and you hate spoilers, you shouldn't keep reading. If you only know cause you're reading The Great Hunt or you've seen season 2 of the show but you don't want spoilers past that point, you also shouldn't keep reading. I spoil everything.

This chapter begins with the Wheel icon because big things are happening, like assassinations and discovery of the Horn.

He had meant the choices to be a private comment on their stupidity, never dreaming any of them might listen, much less be intrigued. Intrigued in a way. They had demanded more of the same, but they had laughed in the wrong places, at the wrong things. They had laughed at him, too, apparently thinking he would not notice, or else that a full purse stuffed in his pocket would heal any wounds.

Another sign of how divorced the nobility in this country is from the commonfolk and by extension reality. They have two very different storytelling cultures and little overlap on anything. And yet Thom's bitterness about this has a hint of hypocrisy - he complains they thought he wouldn't notice their mockery even as he had thought they wouldn't notice his.

He was still not sure what he had intended to say. Rand was gone with his friends, and the Aes Sedai. It left a feeling of something not done.

The important thing is that you tried, and of course that now you can be extra angry at yourself for what happened because you delayed.

She rolled limply onto her back, staring up at him, glazed eyes open wide above the gash across her throat. The side of the bed that had been hidden by her body was dark and sodden.

I mean, what is there to say? Girl had great potential as a person and as a character and all that matters, to the point where she certainly stops getting mentioned after only a book or two, is that she spurs Thom to act now.

“The Game? I’m not mixed up in Daes Dae’mar! Who would want to kill me for the Great Game?”

Thom's protestations ring even more hollow. Where Rand's naivety is excusable, Thom's speaks only to how out of practice he is. Dude met with someone everyone thought was a lord, is performing for other lords, and thinks he's out of the Game? He basically chose to keep playing.

And there has been a woman, a lady, I have seen more than once while asking after him.

Lanfear meanwhile is so contemptuous of the Third Agers that she doesn't even care to disguise herself properly among them, I guess. I'm surprised she doesn't just spy herself though.

“If you mean Barthanes, you’re too late. Everybody’s talking about it already. He is dead. His servants found him this morning, torn to pieces in his bedchamber. The only way they knew it was him was his head stuck on a spike over the fireplace.”

Forget who killed Asmodean, who the heck killed Barthanes? It probably wasn't Galldrian; killing a random is one thing but having his rival brutally eviscerated is another. It couldn't have been Fain, he was already gone. Ishamael or Lanfear might have done it by way of the gholam, but what would piss either of them off enough? The Horn going to Toman Head is hardly Barthanes' mistake and doesn't really interfere with Lanfear's desired outcomes at all. Plus if they did use the gholam, what did it get up to all this time between now and its first appearance?

“These aren’t Barthanes’s men, Thom. At least, that one isn’t.” She nodded toward the fat man. “It’s the worst kept secret in Cairhien that he works for House Riatin. For Galldrian.”

This vaguely points at Galldrian being responsible for Barthanes' death as well I suppose, but like I said the method seems entirely out of character.

“Perhaps you had better think about leaving, too. It looks as if someone is firing the granaries.”

I'm also going to rule out the rioters as an unlikely suspect on the grounds that Barthanes' death is probably the inciting incident for them, not the first, implausbly well-hidden step. But seriously. Who did it?

*considers Verin for a moment*

Nah. She's the least suspicious person alive.

The pack horse bearing his precious burden bumped his leg, and he kicked it in the ribs without looking; the animal snorted and jerked back to the end of the lead he had tied to his saddle.

So obviously the part that immediately follows this about how Fain fed the horse's previous owner to the Trollocs is way, way eviler, but let's just appreciate exactly how dedicated to unpleasantness Fain has become.

Men gathered more information on the invaders, as if they actually believed they would eventually do something with what they knew, but they sometimes tried to hold back. Women, by and large, seemed interested in going on with their lives whoever their rulers were, yet they noted details men did not, and they talked more quickly once they stopped screaming.

I kind of don't buy this? Random women from every village are being taken away and never seen again. I'm not a woman myself but I don't think it's a stretch to say that such actions would put most women on edge for fear of the Seanchan coming back and taking more tribute, since they don't know about the damane selection process yet.

The people hurried about their business with eyes down, bowing whenever soldiers passed, but the Seanchan paid them no mind. It all seemed peaceful on the surface, despite the armored Seanchan in the streets and the ships in the harbor, but Fain could sense the tension underneath. He always did well where men were tense and afraid.

1) I'm very sad that this element of the occupation disappears in later books it rings a lot truer; everyone should be afraid.

2) Is Fain saying thinking this in the sense of looking back over his career as a Darkfriend and how he always did better scaring them with peddler's tales, or is this the sum total of his evil reflecting on Aridhol, the Ways, and more? Both?

Women went in and out of a house across the street, women linked by silver leashes, but he ignored them. He knew about damane from the villagers. They might be of some use later, but not now.

Seriously: what use can Fain be imagining for damane, considering his current power set?

He was always confident, but never more than where lords feared an assassin’s knife from their own followers.

This is definitely more all of the evil within Fain than his own experiences, as we have no reason to think he was ever an assassin in his backstory.

“I have seen chests such as this, chests from the Age of Legends,” the High Lord said, “though none so fine. They are meant to be opened only by those who know the pattern, but I—ah!”

Major points to Turak who easily sidesteps Fain's plans entirely by accident. As much as I loathe the Seanchan, I despise Fain more.

Still holding the Horn and the dagger, Turak looked at the cabinet, then away. He said nothing, but the other Seanchan snapped quick orders, and in moments men in plain woolen robes appeared through a door behind the screens bearing another small table.

For all the shit I've given the Cairhienien nobility, I suppose I also need to offer them some credit for at least not expecting their servants to interpret their every facial gesture. Rich people on every continent desperately need to get over themselves.

Fain could stand it no longer. He reached for the dagger.

Fain isn't anywhere near as slick as he thinks he is, considering he went about thirty seconds without trying to nab his precious. Fucking Gollum does better about this stuff bro, learn from him.

“I am to sound it.” Turak’s tone was flat. “And break the White Tower. Again, why? You claim to obey, await, and serve, but this is a land of oath-breakers. Why do you give your land to me? Do you have some private quarrel with these . . . women?”

And again, we see that Fain's schemes immediately crash and burn when given the briefest exposure to people who know what schemes are. He's just like all these nobles in his own twisted way: he's gotten so used to having the Darkfriends jump when he says jump (or die) that he doesn't understand why no one else will willingly be his puppets.

Turak was silent so long that Fain began to wonder if he needed further convincing; he was ready with more, as much as was required.

Pro-tip for those of you who find themselves in situations where you need to lie: less is actually much better than more. We can thus conclude that Fain isn't even good at lying, despite the fact that he's spent his whole career as a liar!

“But, High Lord,” Fain protested, “you must—” He found himself lying on his side, his head ringing. Only when his eyes cleared did he see the man with the pale braid rubbing his knuckles and realize what had happened. “Some words,” the fellow said softly, “are never used to the High Lord.” Fain decided how the man was going to die.

I myself am rooting for neither of these fellows, both so awful in their own right. And note again how the Seanchan veneer of civility disappears at a moment's notice without warning. There's no way a populace can happily adopt the Seanchan customs as a whole, not without rebellion after rebellion breaking out.

He had not even known of the existence of an Empress until Turak mentioned her, but access to a ruler again . . . that opened new paths, new plans. Access to a ruler with the might of the Seanchan beneath her and the Horn of Valere in her hands. Much better than making this Turak a Great King.

It's funny that he thinks this is an option for him, when his best case scenario is that he ends up doing exactly what Semirhage will do and thus completely destroys his advantage and his worst case scenario is that Semirhage shows up and starts experimenting with an absolutely fascinating case study.

If I kept the Horn of Valere, all between myself and the throne would think I meant to be first hereafter, and while the Empress, of course, wishes that we contend with one another so that the strongest and most cunning will follow her, she currently favors her second daughter, and she would not look well on any threat to Tuon.

I'm sure that name won't be relevant later!

“The Empress’s Listeners may be anywhere,” Turak continued. “They may be anyone. Huan was born and raised in the House of Aladon, and his family for eleven generations before him, yet even he could be a Listener.”

Secret police: a surefire sign that your civilization is doing just great for itself and won't collapse under its own bloodlust in fifty years or less.

At the Court of the Nine Moons, in Seandar, one such as you could be given to the Seekers for a shift of your eye, for a misspoken word, for a whim. Are you still eager?

I'm sure that Nine Moons thing won't come up again anytime soon either.

And again we see more evidence that the only reason the Empire is holding itself up is its consistent expansionary policies that consistently deliver it new victims to burn through. If the Empire's borders were ever truly stable it would collapse immediately under the tyranny of Seandar.

A young man, but vile in the Shadow beyond belief, with a lying, devious tongue. In many places he has claimed to be many things, but always the Trollocs come when he is there, High Lord. Always the Trollocs come . . . and kill.

Fain is not even a good Aes Sedai liar, since Caemlyn is still doing just great for itself at the moment, as are a variety of the places he passed on the road to it.

Fain let the grimacing Huan pull him out of the room, hardly even listening to the snarled lecture on what would happen if he ever again failed to leave Lord Turak’s presence when given permission to do so.

Considering that Fain was allegedly giving good information about a coming threat, this seems like another really shitty policy on the part of the Seanchan. The illusion of order that is easily cleared away by chaos.

Sadly, the illusion of time is less easily cleared away and ours is up because the chapter is done. Next time: Steddings!

#let's read #wheel of time #wot #robert jordan #wheel of time spoilers #wot spoilers #thom merrilin #dena #zera #padan fain #turak aladon #huan

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countlessrealities · 7 months ago

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@nebula-drcams from HERE

She's sure Vaggie knows the answer to that question, considering how the princess could be. Always putting others before herself, she can handle it, it's no big deal! Others first and then herself. That was how she worked more often than not, and would probably continue to do so.

There's silence as she listens, expression unreadable as Charlie slowly processes everything she's told. So Alastor was acting strange too .. she had noticed his absences but chalked it up to silently recovering on his own. There's a slight change of expression to hint that she's hurt, just a little bit because more secrets are being kept. Yes, it is a big difference that she's hearing this directly from Vaggie this time instead of an outside source but still.

There's a cracked smile, forced, not wanting to indicate that she's hurt by all of this and while it hasn't been years .. No matter. They're talking about this now. It's fine, it'll be sorted out. Neither of them will be leaving this room until they do so. She won't run and avoid it like she did after the hearing due to the incoming battle. She'll face it head-on.

There's a deep breath as the princess grips at the fabric of her pants, easy does it, be patient and calm.

. At least he's not dead .. dead. I .. didn't want him to die. I specifically stopped my father because I wanted to show mercy. I wish Niffty hadn't done that, but it's already done and over so we have to put that behind us now. I'm .. surprised to hear that you're talking to him. Vaggie .. you knew I would've tried to offer him a place in the hotel and a chance at redemption. Why'd you keep that from me? Never mind, we'll discuss that later. But I'm glad to hear he has someone to talk to. Especially since .. "

There's a pause as she shakes her head, perhaps Vaggie already tried to bring Adam to the hotel for all she knew, it's not like she'd purposely hide things from Charlie .. right? Maybe there just wasn't the chance to bring it up with everyone being so busy.

" I don't .. know what to say about Vox and Alastor, and I'll talk to him about that later. But what's this thing you're talking about? Please, don't hide things from me, if it's something I can help with, tell me. "

Vaggie knows that she's hurting Charlie a little bit more with every word she speaks. The princess is putting on a brave and understanding facade, but she knows her well enough to be able to tell. The awareness tears her up from the inside, makes her sick in the stomach, but she forces herself to ignore the feeling.

She has already disappointed and failed Charlie enough. She has no right to unload her own distress on her. She needs to prove herself worthy. She needs to make up for everything. She needs to earn every second her girlfriend will allow her to spend by her side.

The former Exorcist opens her mouth to say that she, instead, had been glad when Niffty had killed Adam, but she quickly shuts it once again before a single word can leave her lips. Her confused, contradictory feelings for her former best friend aren't something Charlie should be bothered with. They are for her to deal with. Alone.

"I...That's what I'm trying to do. Uh, convincing him to come live with us," Vaggie ends up saying instead, still not meeting the princess's gaze. "I thought, if he can be redeemed, then that's pretty much proof that almost everyone can, you know?"

One of her hands creeps in her hair and she pulls at her white locks hard enough to hurt.

"I was going to get Alastor to make a deal with him, so he'd have to stay once he moves in, even if he changes his mind. And yeah, I know that we can't force people to stay, because it kills the whole point, but he needs...I can't..."

Her voice trails off for a moment. Great, she's rambling again.

"I will not abandon him out there. I won't do to him what he did to me."

It's Vaggie's turn to suck in a calming breath, letting it out slowly as she struggles to collect herself. She hopes that Charlie won't ask her about her true reasons, because she isn't ready to open that can of worms.

"Uh, good luck getting Al to talk. I'm not sure what he's up to, but he's suspiciously tight-lipped about it." Something she likes less and less with every passing day. "As for the...thing, I...it's about getting Adam to stay at the Hotel, but Vox was trying to grab him too, reason why I asked Al for help. And I might might have made a bet on who's getting him. With Vox."

Not her smartest idea.

#[ threads :: Vaggie ]#&& Charlie Morningstar || nebuladrcams #nebuladrcams #[[ here we go new post yay !! ]]#[[ I feel a little bad for Charlie here ]]#[[ it's...A LOT ]]#[[ and it's on top of the whole former Exorcist revelation ]]

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coffeebooksrain18 · 27 days ago

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This is a Matchup for my Bestie @sugutoad because someone didn't fulfill their end of the trade with her in a matchup exchange she did. I hope this trade brings a smile to your face Girly, you deserve it after the stressful week you've had.

I match you with...Jaime Lannister!!!

HEADCANONS

the day you met Jaime, was the day your life changed for the better. his father had brought him with him to a trade deal with your house, and as your twos fathers worked that out Jaime and you were to walk the gardens. he had told you a bit about himself and then asked you to tell him about you, you excitedly started talking about your hobbies but quickly got embarrassed as you were talking so quickly you were starting to get tongue-tied. Jaime only chuckled and said "It is quite hard not to speak of your favorite things without getting tongue-tied, isn't it? though you have nothing to fear, I find it quite cute that you get this excited about the things you love. perhaps one day talking of me will leave you tongue-tied." you tried to find any mistruth in his words but found none and only kind amusement. when you did not continue after this he said "well? I would greatly appreciate hearing the rest of the story." this made you giggle and you continued to tell him the story of your little sister's first embroidery lesson.

the day of your wedding you had a panic attack, no one could calm you down. when Jaime heard he called for you from the hall stating "give me your hand, my love, I needn't see the dress until you walk down the aisle. just give me your hand and talk to me about what has you so frightened." and thus you took his hand through the crack in the door, but not before making sure he can't see your dress, and sat on the floor telling him all your fears and worries for this day and your union. anytime you thought you were being too rude to him and stop talking he would squeeze your hand and say. "this is not about me, Darling, it's about you. I do not want my wife hiding from me, even if it is her fears or her fears of our union and the childbed." so you continued until all the weight had left your chest and you could finally breathe again he then told you his fears as you listened silently just as he had for you. it was this moment, and this moment alone that showed everyone what a prosperous union this would be.

it was six moons later you found out you were with child, and when you told Jaime he seemed shocked, overjoyed, and scared all at the same time. he had rested his hand on your barely protruding belly and smiled. "a babe? my heir is in that sweet belly of yours? please tell me this isn't a dream for if it is I will have to show those seven gods you love so much my wrath." this declaration had made you laugh and you pinched his neck. "does that prove this is not a dream and you do not need to go to war with the gods?" you teased making him smile. from that day until you gave birth to your twos child, he would lay down and talk to your belly just quiet enough for you not to hear him. when you would ask what he is speaking to them about he would only answer teasingly "there are some things that should stay between father and his children." making you roll your eyes and laugh at his antics

when you had gone into labor Jaime had burst into the room and moved over to you holding you close. when the maesters told him it was improper for him to be there he had said with such authority even you were afraid to speak of your wishes for your husband to stay. "I went to war and slaughtered great warriors, I killed a fucking King, what makes you think I won't kill you some lowly maester?" this shut the maester up quickly and he had gone to work helping you birth your child instead of arguing with your husband anymore.

once your babe was born, a boy, you had slumped back against Jaime completely exhausted. he had leaned down to whisper to you "you did it, you did it, my love. I always heard the childbed was a woman's battlefield, I always thought it rubbish, but after watching you, I know no war battle, or joust could ever compare to the bravery you showed in this room." these words brought tears to your eyes as he had admitted you were brave and strong something you always wished to be.

HOUSE

I give you house Hightower, I honestly don't get why I never gave you this house as it's legit perfect for you in every way! They match your ambitious, kind, cunning, and gentle nature. House Hightower is one of the most ancient houses in Westeros, it's capital is Oldtown the home to Maesters, Septas, and Septons in training. So needless to say those religious figures being so close to you made you a high achiever and a perfectionist, and because of these things you are said to be the perfect lady.

BACKSTORY

The eldest of five and a daughter you were expected to be perfect, kind, sweet, generous, and the perfect lady. Growing up your moth issue with this plan, it left you little time to your own pursuits and hobbies and made you rarely have time to spend with others outside your family. Because of these things, it was quite difficult for you to have conversations with possible courtships as you never could keep up the conversation without blanking or speaking over them about your favorite subjects. This all lead to you being sent to the Queen to be her lady in waiting and falling in love with her twin brother Ser Jaime Lannister.

SHIP TROPES

arranged marriage confident (Jaime) x shy (You) idiot always getting hurt (Jaime) x Personal nurse (You)

SHIP SONG(S)

Golden Hour by JVKE Power Over Me by Dermot Kennedy

OTHER RELATIONSHIPS

Tywin Lannister your good father was quite fond of you. as you had made Jaime settle down, something he thought he would only ever dream of. and when you presented your son Tytos he was even more thankful to you, as he knew now the Lannister line will truly continue on as he didn't know if Jaime would ever truly marry let alone sire children, and he was afraid the next lord would be one of Tyrions many bastards. but you, you brought him hope, and then made that hope a reality.

Cersei Lannister, strangely you two liked each other, and you needn't worry, Jaime and Cersei aren't fucking and all of her children are Baratheons with black hair. yes you read that right, Cersei's children re legitimate and not bastards. it took Cersei a bit to like you after you married Jaime, but when she saw how happy you made her dear twin brother she no longer could hate you for 'taking' him from her. though she wished for one of your girls to marry Joffery that right was given to Sansa (also since he's not a incest baby he's not crazy lol). but she made damn well sure Myrcella married your son Tytos so she would be Lady Lannister when she came of age.

Margaery Tyrell and you were childhood best friends, I mean it was well known that the Tyrells and the Hightowers are close friends so it was only natural to have you two to be friends as well. you two were thick as thieves and would kill for one another if you ever had to.

Tyrion Lannister and you for some reason never clicked. he was too quick to anger and was always thinking he was being insulted for his dwarfism and that bugged you. you understood but you had only ever been kind to him and he still thought the worst of you, it didn't and still doesn't sit well with you.

Catelyn Tully was someone you found intriguing, she was resilient, fierce, kind, and gentle, all you wished to be in a woman. Though when you would be watching her trying to understand how she could do it so easily, she thought you were being rude and judging her for something she had done or worn. It had confused you and she started to treat you with such hostility that one day while up north you asked her how she could be so strong in a world that forces woman to weak, I was than she realized you weren't judging her, but admiring her. From there she was her kind and sweet self towards you showing you how to stand up for yourself and seem strong when you feel weak.

A secret surprise...A MOONBOARD!!!

#My Criston Cole [🥀]#this is a gift #i made it for my bestie cause shes had a bad week #asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #got matchup #matchups #catelyn stark #margaery tyrell #tyrion lannister #tywin lannister #cersei lannister #jaime lannister #moonboard #moonboards

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pyropsychiccollector · 2 years ago

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Wasn't my intention to have back-to-back days with the same guy... But, well. I'm in a mood~ Might as well keep going while the iron's hot. :3

Let's talk about this goober~...

NagiKae

Kaede Kayano, definitely one of the more "obvious" love interests for Nagisa Shiota... Well. It's obvious, and not-so-obvious. A lot of fans gloss over Kaede because she's too "vanilla" for Nagisa... Some even think it was just a kiss that turned her into a lovesick bimbo... That's not the entire story, though. There was a lot of lead-up to that kiss, the emotions born from it... So let's get to it.

Akari Yukimura was a famous child actress with a stage name of "Haruna Mase". We don't know much of her background, but her dad ran a pharmaceutical company, and wasn't too involved in Akari or her sister's lives. Though it would behoove us to mention that he arranged for Kotaro Yanagisawa to marry Akari's sister, Aguri, after their company struggled to keep afloat and Yanagisawa bought the company. You get the sense that Akari's childhood may have been a lonely one, with her dad likely never home because of running the company and her sister off to college. Perhaps that's why Akari turned to showbusiness, to give herself something to do, and maybe to help pay the family bills.

Even so, Akari loved her sister. That much is undeniable. Even when busy with school or laboratory work, Aguri would call and make time for Akari. Sometimes, they'd even meet up in-person. Though by the time the series started, it had been a while since they didn't have a phone between them. Whatever other friends or acquaintances Akari may have had as a child, Aguri was her best friend, the one she loved and adored the most. Akari was looking forward to meeting up again, talk about this new guy that caught Aguri's fancy... 'Cause Akari sure never liked Yanagisawa very much, and she could tell Aguri seemed unhappy, too. The new mysterious guy seemed promising...

... And then the unthinkable happened. Aguri died. Akari didn't even know the circumstances, and her sister was just... gone. What Akari did "know" was that someone was there when Aguri died and fled the scene, and that reeked of guilt. Who just flees a scene after an explosion, much less like how Koro-sensei did? Akari didn't know the circumstances, but it looked like murder. The note Koro-sensei left behind didn't help matters. And Akari wasn't the type to leave things be; Aguri was very important to her, and if she was murdered... then Akari would get revenge. She needed to.

That's why she gave herself tentacles and infiltrated Kunugigaoka. She barely understood what her sister was working on, but her instincts told her that she would need the tentacles to get her revenge. Akari forged documents to create an alias to not draw attention, and that's how she became Kaede Kayano, a previous one-off role she played in a show. She didn't know why the monster killed Aguri, why he decided to teach a bunch of Junior High kids... but she knew that she needed to be here. This was her only shot at getting justice.

It's safe to say that Kaede had no intentions of forging new bonds. Not when the most important person in her life was killed. But if she remained a loner, she'd draw attention to herself... Kaede needed to be a typical student, make friends, lead a happy-go-lucky life... on the surface, anyway. As much as she wanted revenge, she wasn't going to rush into this without any idea of her target and his capabilities. Kaede was clearly patient, and just as observant as Nagisa... the first guy she met in E-Class. There wasn't any rhyme or reason to pick him as a cover - it's simply that the sooner she made a "friend", the sooner everyone would drop their guards around her. She knew nothing of Nagisa's family life, the hardships he faced with his mom wanting a daughter as opposed to a son... Kaede just saw an opportunity to be cutesy, to make a simple change to his appearance and stand out a little bit less. Kaede couldn't know for sure how deep their "friendship" would ever go...

Things don't go to plan. Kaede might not have wanted to get attached, but think about it. Nagisa nearly died - that's hitting a little too close to home for Kaede. Maybe Nagisa is a means to an end, but Kaede isn't that heartless... Deep down, a part of her is yearning for someone to fill in the void left behind by Aguri, and right now Nagisa's the closest friend she has... and she almost lost him because a stupid jerk couldn't carry out his own suicide plan, Terasaka just had to make Nagisa do it... Kaede's an accomplished actress, but when a personal tragedy like this occurs mere days/weeks after losing her sister, that shock and anger is going to be all too real. ... I think she's struggling with herself to hold back, 'cause if Akari wants to kill Koro-sensei, what do you suppose she wants to do to Terasaka...?

It's a real pity this near suicide is brushed off pretty quickly, and no one talks to Nagisa about it on-screen ever again... But I think it's fair to assume Kaede draws closer to Nagisa over the coming weeks and months because she knows better to value what she has while she has it. Even if she didn't intend for Nagisa to be a true friend... her heart just won't give him up.

So, she gives Koro-sensei his name. Watches Sugino get in a funk over failing to kill the octopus, then later basks in everyone getting a shot because Koro-sensei ruined the flowerbeds. I'm pretty sure Nagisa went up a few notches in Kaede's book because he was starting a habit of keeping notes. Something she couldn't afford to do openly because she needed to keep a low profile. It still showed that Nagisa was a pretty meticulous guy, too, and she could throw her full support behind that, gleefully. If Nagisa missed anything, she could innocently point it out to him, but moreover having a second opinion was always great. Having Mister Karasuma formally join the class as an instructor is another bonus, resources and training.

Karma arrives, and Kaede is intrigued if nothing else than because he has a history with Nagisa. She probably suspected Karma would get his ass whooped, seeing as how none of them had much success. And she'd be right... after getting over the initial flustered reactions, Koro-sensei comes to expect Karma's repeated attempts. Turns it around on the guy. and pretty soon Karma's becomes a team player.

... Then Professor Bitch shows up, and oh boy... Kaede's not having a good day. (๑╹ω╹๑ ) This is one of the first major hints of Kaede's crush - not that the girl's conscious of it yet, but c'mon. Seeing a knockout of a teacher waltz in here and kiss her Nagisa...? And then smother him with those melons? Yes. Kaede has words. (๑╹ω╹๑ )

*ahem* Kaede just wants it on the record, that's sexual assault. Kaede does not approve. (๑╹ω╹๑ );;;

But yeah. Professor Bitch joins the class, and Kaede's all for that nickname, by the way. No, really. Listen to how chirpy she is in the next episode with calling Irina that, when they're making their way down the mountain for the assembly. Kaede-chan holds a grudge. lol Professor Bitch aside, Okuda also made an attempt on Koro-sensei, revealing her passion in chemistry... although like Kaede and Nagisa figured, Koro-sensei's "help" was really for his own benefit, making himself more flexible with the Liquify trick. After they make it down the mountain, Kaede's there when those two boys from D-Class mock Nagisa during the assembly. Outwardly she's not showing much inflection, but that's mostly because the rest of E-Class keeps their heads down, and Nagisa doesn't acknowledge those guys, either... I'll still bet that there's a part of her that wanted to yell back at those boys or comfort Nagisa.

Kaede really, really hopes Professor Bitch ditches this nasty habit, though... Damn femme fatale. (๑╹ω╹๑ );;;;;;;;;;

After the assembly, Kaede does miss a further altercation between Nagisa and those two from D-Class... At least Nagisa stands up for himself, Kaede would be proud. Still, the incident prompts the Principal to take E-Class down a peg for the First Term midterms, and they all take a hit there...

The Kyoto trip comes next, and they have to work in groups so that some professionals can snipe the octopus. It's clear Kaede, Nagisa, and Sugino are the beginnings of a group; Nagisa drags in Karma, and Kaede picks Okuda. Sugino nominates Kanzaki for the last member, and Kaede's totally for it~... Though I'll bet she notices Nagisa and Kanzaki blushing at each other. XD

The train ride to Kyoto is pleasant enough. Kaede and Nagisa are both excited to learn more about each other and their classmates on the trip. Even the first bit of touring the sites around Kyoto is fun, Kaede showing she has a sweet tooth, and Nagisa researched the Kyoto area pretty thoroughly (well, they all did, but some studied more than others). It's all fun and games until some high school guys throttle the boys, and kidnap Kanzaki and Kaede.

This little adventure is dramatic and tense; the highschoolers intend to molest Kanzaki and Kaede, the latter of which has to keep her composure and not reveal too much... even if she wants to kill their kidnappers. Kaede also learns more about Kanzaki, and bonds with her. The circumstances could be better, but it's really sweet that Kaede is making friends with E-Class... Nagisa was her first, Sugino and Karma are proxies of being friends with Nagisa, then she grew closer to Okuda, and now Kanzaki... Kaede probably figures this is just to keep up her facade, but after they're rescued the friendship clearly sticks. In terms of Nagisa, he keeps the guys and Okuda calm and collected, using Koro-sensei's guidebook as a way to track down the kidnappers and save their friends. Nagisa also calls Koro-sensei for backup, and they manage to get the girls in time before things got worse. Kaede sounds genuinely thrilled that Nagisa and the others found them, and stays upbeat after Koro-sensei throttles the highschoolers, glad that Kanzaki isn't traumatized by the experience.

After that episode, they retire for the evening at their hotel, breaking off into boy and girl groups. Both groups, unironically, end up talking... romance. The guys hold a popularity poll, and though we don't know who voted for who, I'm willing to bet that Nagisa voted for Kaede...or Kanzaki, though considering the relative closeness he has with Kaede... I'd say there's a good chance he supported his friend. Nagisa doesn't really have a crush as of yet, but that's more due to his meek nature. He doesn't see a way that any girl would like him as more than a friend, and moreover, they're young. Nagisa's not in a rush for romance. In the girls' group, there's the same level of ambiguity as Rio tries to get them talking about crushes on the boys in their class. Kaede doesn't chime in, and that's probably more due to the fact that Kaede's revenge-driven; consciously, she has no romantic interests. She just goes along with the lighthearted fun, trying to tickle an answer out of Kanzaki when she hesitates...

Then Koro-sensei gathers intel on the boys and girls, and garners a pincer attack on himself for his nosiness. XD

Kyoto ends off on this heartfelt moment between Nagisa and Kaede~ Even with all that happened, they're able to have a good time and bond. Nagisa's unsure of the future, his future, and... he wants to live in the moment. Because we won't find out until next season, but Nagisa has a hellish life at home. E-Class provides him a sanctuary, a place to have fun and make memories... And Nagisa's bittersweet about them going separate ways after Graduation, assuming the world survives. This is the happiest he's been in a long time... and Nagisa doesn't want it to end. Kaede doesn't understand Nagisa fully yet, but I'll bet she senses there's more to the story than Nagisa's telling her... She just doesn't want to pry too much, so Kaede empathizes with him instead. Kaede wasn't counting on making real friends and precious memories, but she is, and Kaede would love for the good times to last even just a little longer... Dragging her heels on her revenge scheme is taking on a whole new meaning - the longer she takes, the longer she can stick by Nagisa's side. The longer she can stay Kanzaki's friend. And Okuda. And Sugino. And Karma... Remember: This is a girl who came to E-Class because she lost her sister. Whether or not she fully realizes it yet, these people are filling the void left behind by Aguri. She's getting attached.

Ritsu joins the gang. Lovro tests Professor Bitch... Things get complicated when Shiro shows up with Itona. Kaede knows it's Yanagisawa; Itona's tentacles confirmed it, but Kaede likely had an inkling when Shiro performed the dove trick (in the manga, there's a panel where Aguri introduces Yanagisawa to her sister, and he performs the same magic trick), and Shiro's intimate knowledge of Koro-sensei. She keeps her head low, but Yanagisawa notes her presence, and later investigates. While Shiro agrees to not harming innocents, Kaede probably stuck close to Nagisa on the off-chance he got hurt from the brawl in the ring. Again, losing Aguri has...given her perspective. And why should she trust Yanagisawa, anyway? He let Aguri die, carried on that tentacle research. She's not losing someone else precious to her. Kaede's probably even relieved when Koro-sensei chases them off, as much as the teacher's thirsty for answers.

The baseball/basketball matches happen... And then Takaoka shows up. Right before that, Karasuma overdoes a defensive move when Nagisa gets the drop on him, and Kaede's there for Nagisa pretty quickly, like Sugino. Dunno if she was keeping an eye on him during the drills, but her concern for Nagisa is definitely growing. When Takaoka does rear his deceptive mug, Kaede probably suspects a deception on account of the bribe the new PE teacher brought them on the first day. ... But it's desserts, so how can Kaede refuse? The tentacles really heightened her sweet tooth, that's for sure.

Takaoka's real colors come out the next day, and it's Hell for a bit, with Karasuma and Koro-sensei powerless to stop Takaoka. But then Takaoka goes too far again with his sadistic teaching methods, and Karasuma has to step in; but Takaoka wants to settle it as teachers, making Karasuma pick out a champion to take him on. Kaede's most likely antsy about the chance of being picked for the match, since she wants to keep her cards close to her chest...but it's not her. It's Nagisa.

Nagisa has the choice to decline the knife, but he ends up agreeing to Karasuma's request, because he respects their original PE teacher. Kaede knows there's a pretty good chance Nagisa will get hurt, but she's once more powerless to do anything without breaking her cover. The show can't show too much conflict on Kaede's face because they have to keep that shocking twist for later, that there's more to Kaede than meets the eye. But even so, this is more than enough. Kaede's not overprotective, even if part of her wants to be, after losing Aguri. She watches uneasily, hoping Nagisa will pull through.

... And he does. Oh, boy, he does. Nagisa's innate skills are on full display, and they let him get the drop on Takaoka without so much as a scratch. Kaede's blown away just like the rest of them, not even Karasuma expected it to go this well. Again, she has to to keep a low profile... but she joins her classmates in gushing over Nagisa, and that's probably all genuine. Her worries about Nagisa's wellbeing are alleviated, and now they don't have to put up with Takaoka anymore. Plus, someone as skilled as Nagisa... That's her friend right there. I'm pretty sure Kaede's stoked to have such a promising ally, both inside and out. Kaede doesn't have to fake any of that elation, she really is thrilled.

Shiro and Itona make another attempt on the octopus... Kaede is threatened just as everyone else is due to the fact she can't swim with the tentacles inside her. But thankfully, that incident manages to blow over easily enough, with Terasaka learning a valuable lesson. This was also the first time the class subconsciously learned that one of Koro-sensei's biggest weaknesses...is defending them.

The First Term Finals come around, and it's really just adorable with how close Kaede and Nagisa are, being on the same wavelength with reactions, like when Isogai first offers the chance to study in the library, and then when they all threaten the Big Five 'cause they were being dicks... XD They were both feeling bad for Ren hitting on Yukiko, and Nagisa was trying to warn her about Kaede's, um...book cover sliding off.... (๑╹ω╹๑ ) "Puddings of the World", eh, Kaede-chan? Nagisa and Kaede did their best on the exams, but in the end it was Rio, Isogai, Okuda, and the Terasaka gang that scored the highest in various subjects. This earns them the trip to Okinawa from A-Class.

Okinawa's a pretty big adventure for E-Class, because they come together as a group to try and take out Koro-sensei... Unfortunately, it doesn't work out because of his Absolute Defense Form. Still, it's quite a thing to see the class operate as a unit, and when Nagisa was blown into the water, Kaede was pretty quick to bring her boat over to him~ And they're both deadpan when Karma's sadistic nature rears its head again with Koro-sensei so...vulnerable, in that ball. Everyone's pretty bummed about failing again, but it did get some good data.

... Unfortunately, the hits keep on coming. Takaoka contracts some professionals to poison some of E-Class, and he wants Nagisa and Kaede for the handoff of the cure. Nobody's really eager to send them in there alone, however, and the remaining members of the class come together to save their ill classmates.

Scaling the hotel, there's a few adorable hints for NagiKae. They're just...very much in sync, and are glued to each other's side. They don't understand Fuwa's fourth wall-breaking gimmick... They're pissed like everyone else when Koro-sensei comes off as whimsical and way too carefree for a guy stuck in an indestructible ball... They're impressed with Karma's growth as a person...though slightly terrified of his sadism, too.... And then Nagisa goes in with the girls to infiltrate the club, and he's not too happy to be forced to crossdress... The girls just carry on, however, and leave him at the mercies of Yuji. ... Thankfully, Kaede comes back for him, though, and everyone's deadpan with Yuji trying to woo them with his...dance skillz. Or lack thereof. They get through the party floor, but Nagisa's still uncomfortable with the whole experience, feeling like he didn't really do anything. At least Kaede tries cheering him up, insisting Yuji's better off that Nagisa was there with them. It is a tender moment for Kaede and Nagisa... though of course, Karma spoils the mood with having a pic of Nagisa crossdressing.

After getting past the sniper in the auditorium, they reach the top floor and discover it was Takaoka behind the whole thing. He calls Nagisa out for screwing up his life (not really Nagisa's fault, and the others do stand up for him as they should), and demands to face Nagisa one-on-one if they want the cure for their friends. Kaede shows a lot more emotion this time, and rightfully so; last time was just a training exercise, more or less. But this time? Takaoka isn't going to take chances. Nagisa will definitely get hurt if he goes up to that helipad, and Kaede's frightened for him. ... But Nagisa feels he can't refuse. He needs to play along, at least until they work out a more concrete plan for taking Takaoka down. Kaede's uneasy, and she can certainly protect Nagisa if she wanted... But again, that would involve revealing herself. She holds herself back...barely.

... Takaoka forcing Nagisa to apologize on his hands and knees probably was a real test of Kaede's patience... Just saying~

It's brutal for everyone to watch Nagisa get beaten down in a one-on-one fight...but it's especially crushing for Kaede. She was there after Aguri was killed, she didn't watch her sister slip away. But here...? There's a very good chance Nagisa could die. The beatdown is just the start, but when Takaoka goes to pick up the knife, makes that psychotic declaration of carving Nagisa up and savoring his screams... Kaede just can't take it anymore. She needs Karasuma to shoot Takaoka. She manages to hold it together and not intervene, but damn... If Takaoka cut into Nagisa with that knife, that might've sent Kaede over the edge. There's no concrete proof of that, but she's definitely getting emotional over Nagisa's pain and torment. Kaede's hysterical, but that's because she's lost someone before, and she doesn't want to suffer another loss.

Mercifully, Nagisa turns the situation around with the technique Lovro taught him before the trip. He uses Terasaka's stun gun to beat their enemy, even if the victory becomes bittersweet with Takaoka's unconscious body crushing the remainder of the antidote. For Kaede, though... she couldn't be more relieved if she tried. Nagisa pulled through again, and he just keeps getting better in skill. A part of her must realize, deep down, that she doesn't want to risk Nagisa... So as good as he's getting, as happy and proud as she is to have his support.... There's probably a part of her that wants to handle the assassination alone. To not endanger Nagisa further. After the dust is settled and they're relaxing on the beach, Kaede confides in Nagisa that she's glad he can handle himself... but she really worries about him. And that's the truth. At least Nagisa's sorry for worrying her...

Can't get away with an anime series without a "love scandal" episode~... I think it's awesome Koro-sensei picks up on the close bond Nagisa and Kaede share, and pair them up. He just... He just knows! XD Nagisa's as dense as Mister Karasuma, but Kaede definitely has a soft spot for the blueberry~... Of course, Koro-sensei's scheme to "inspire romance" in his students royally backfires, but it's still a fun excursion that results in them all trying to hook up Professor Bitch and Mister Karasuma.

... You know Kaede is pushing hard for that ship. (๑╹ω╹๑ ) Leave. Nagisa. Alone. (๑╹ω╹๑ )(๑╹ω╹๑ )(๑╹ω╹๑ )

Their time in Okinawa comes to a close, and they return home for the remainder of their summer break. But they all end up coming together again for the summer festival, and it's nice seeing Nagisa and Kaede pair off again. For Kaede, it's probably been a while since she got to enjoy a festival, if she's ever gone out for one at all (with friends, anyway). She plays games with Nagisa, enjoys yummy food, and watches the fireworks with everyone~... All in all, a good memory for Kaede and Nagisa.

Soon enough it's September, and Kaede decides to make an assassination attempt, to make sure she's "contributing" to the cause and not drawing attention to herself. Of course she has to center her plot around pudding... It's so... Kaede. (๑╹ω╹๑ ) Nagisa gets to support her for once, and it feels...melancholic for him. Like, he's happy to, there's no mistaking that. ... But I think the ultimate reason for his subdued presence in the episode is that he's down on himself again. Because Kaede's stepping up, and she's showing that she can be a leader very easily... something he would struggle with. From his perspective, Kaede's miles better than him, even if he did pick up the Clap Stunner. Kaede's just...capable. But he never vocalizes any misgivings he has, that's just not Nagisa's style. He thinks his insecurities are, well...not that big of a deal. Kaede would disagree, but you get the picture.

In the end, Kaede is on the verge of ruining her own plan, because her love for pudding wins out... but Koro-sensei sniffs out the trap, defuses the bomb, and save some pudding for the whole class. Kaede's overjoyed despite the inevitable failure, and she's tickled pink with Nagisa's admiration of her. Even teases she has more that she's hiding, but I think that's just the result of how...happy Nagisa makes her feel. It's endearing that Nagisa can have this effect on her~

... Though, she can do without the "Forever Flat" label that Yanagisawa gives her... She's really, really bloodthirsty about that moniker. (๑╹ω╹๑ );;;;;;;;;;

Before long, Itona's formally recruited into the class, bonds with the boys. They start developing their parkour skills... They go to support Isogai at his part-time job with the diner, but man...poor Nagisa. XDDD Tries to bring up middle-aged ladies dote on him too, and the girls (Kaede included) are flippant about it, despite admiring Isogai for it... lol It's probably Kaede messing around, or going overboard with Isogai's gentlemanly aura... But, it's for the humor, so....

The Big Five blackmail Isogai with his part-time job, and challenge E-Class to a pole-toppling competition. The boys manage to come together and win. Then the accident with Principal Matsukata happens, and E-Class helps out at the daycare... Kaede's actress side oozes out with the stage play, and Nagisa tries tutoring Sakura... and finds he has a knack for it. He inspires Sakura to change, to think outside the box when faced with bullies at school... That on top of renovating the daycare is enough to win Principal Matsukata over and let him forgive E-Class for the mishap. E-Class doesn't do so well on the Second Term midterms... but there's time to turn things around again. :3

The Reaper incident happens not long after this. Nagisa and Kaede's group are assigned the task of getting a grownup gift for Professor Bitch's birthday, and it's nice to see these two have a moment like this~ Makes it feel less one-sided with the bond they share.

Of course it doesn't take the flower salesman long to reveal his true colors, and mock Nagisa and the rest for being taken in. Kaede's giving Nagisa a sympathetic look the whole time the Reaper is talking down to them, and... I think it's really a clever detail to throw in there. Yes, Kaede is concerned for him, but it goes deeper than that. Kaede was duped as well, but moreover, she's also putting on an act and fooling the class... Kaede feels some guilt over that, at least when Nagisa's involved. Seeing Nagisa's devastated expression is a grim omen of what Kaede's in for, when the truth comes out - at least, that's what Kaede fears. At this point, she doesn't want to lose Nagisa's friendship... But she also can't give up on her revenge.

E-Class tries to battle the Reaper on his terms, with Professor Bitch at stake... but naturally, their enemy doesn't play fair, and he's leagues above them. Dispatches them as easily as swatting flies. Another good moment, however, is when the Reaper hurts Kaede; it's another test to keep her mask in place, but moreover, Nagisa is incited to take action because of Kaede's pain. It goes to show that, even without romance, Nagisa cares a great deal for Kaede. He tries to take care of the Reaper... and gets soundly defeated. Everyone's rounded back up in the cell, and it's another neat detail that Kaede's over by Nagisa, fretting over him again. If she'd exposed herself and beat the Reaper, she could have spared Nagisa the embarrassment of defeat...and she didn't. Frankly, she's lucky that the Reaper didn't kill Nagisa, so she's taking solace in the fact they're both alive.

Thankfully, Koro-sensei and Mister Karasuma come to save the class. Karasuma makes amends with Professor Bitch, and the Reaper is defeated. The next "threat", however... well, we finally dig into Nagisa's background.

Nagisa's indecisive about his future, what career he should settle on... He knows his mom's plans for his life because she won't stop going on about them, but as for himself, beyond assassination he just doesn't know what else he'd be good at. We were kind of overdue for this conflict, because we've been in Nagisa's perspective for a while, but we've never understood the struggles he's had to face. We got a taste of it, back when we saw his dad and they revealed Nagisa's parents divorced a while ago. But then it just took a backseat to everything else going on, until now. Nagisa's mom isn't happy that her son is stuck in E-Class, and she wants to go as far as bribing a teacher to get him higher up the social ladder. Also, she has this obsession with dressing him up like a girl, because she wanted a daughter...not a son.

This is the first time Kaede's learning about Nagisa's home life. They don't go into much detail with her own reactions, but it's clear from what little we see that she's paying very close attention... And later, some of the class eavesdrops on the meeting between Koro-sensei and Hiromi, and Kaede and everyone else are overwhelmed at how angry Nagisa's mom can get... Again, not much is shown from Kaede's perspective, but in a way... the lack of information is a possible clue of how she's...feeling. I mean, eavesdropping on that parent-teacher meeting gave Kaede a real life expose of what Nagisa goes through on a daily basis. That... wouldn't make anyone happy to know their friend is going through something so hellish. Kaede won't do anything at the moment because Koro-sensei is handling it... But I imagine if Nagisa continued suffering after this episode, she'd kick up a fuss about it; she still wouldn't expose the depths of her real feelings just yet, but she would damn well do anything to help her friend. Because... she did nothing when Aguri was dating Yanagisawa, and look how that turned out.

Fortunately, Nagisa's home situation gets...resolved, with a little further assist from Koro-sensei, and they just drop the issue that Hiromi tried burning down the mountainside campus (not to mention all the previous abuse Nagisa suffered)... Not exactly a warm and fuzzy resolution as far as giving Nagisa a truly stable home life, but the boy genuinely loves his mom, and wants his parents to get back together. She's at least acknowledging him and letting him make decisions...

The Fall Festival takes place soon after, and Nagisa gets a little further confirmation his mom will support him... she just doesn't want to let him go yet. Kaede's reactions are glossed over again, but she's probably happy for her friend... for the most part. Probably still holds a grudge for the past abuse, but Kaede's obviously not gonna show that. She's supposed to maintain a cheery, bubbly persona.

Soon after, the Second Term Finals occur, E-Class lands in the Top 50. Principal Asano tries assassinating Koro-sensei and gets his life turned around, accepting E-Class as they are... The Drama Festival goes on, and then... we get to Kaede revealing her true colors.

Even though she set up this trap to isolate Koro-sensei, it's a little telling that she uses Nagisa as her... bait for the octopus. It's a complex decision on multiple levels. For one, she's letting her fondness for the blueberry get away from her again - she really cherishes these moments with Nagisa. But also... she takes this trap as her last opportunity to reminisce with him. Because once she starts fighting Koro-sensei, there's no going back. There's also the fact that she trusts Nagisa the most out of the whole class; if she involves anyone in her trap, at least Nagisa won't bungle it up somehow. ... Maybe even a part of her, deep down, hopes that Nagisa talks her down from this scheme. Unfortunately, Nagisa's presence is not enough to deter her. The tentacles demand she take action... and she does. In the process, though, she does hurt Nagisa... both physically and emotionally.

It's too late to turn back, however. She reveals her identity to the class after she fails to kill Koro-sensei right then and there. She splits off to recover and make her preparations for her real attempt at killing the octopus. Meanwhile, the class puzzle over the fact that she's Haruna Mase, Nagisa is especially vexed as to why she hid behind him all this time (he privately wonders if he was just a tool to her), and want answers from their teacher... But he won't tell them until Kaede is back with them. He needs to save her.

The next confrontation with Kaede is still just as cold and disheartening. She's set on this path because the tentacles aren't giving her a choice, but she's also a little bitter how quickly everyone forgot about her sister... So she's not completely separated from the situation at hand. Kaede tries dismissing Nagisa's wounded expression, puts on airs that all this time meant nothing to her... But I think that's because she has to. We've seen numerous times, Kaede hates seeing Nagisa hurt... Yet here she is, a grand, duplicitous avenger. Betraying him. In her own way, she's probably trying to give him closure, inwardly accepting that she selfishly severed their bond, accepting that he should hate her... It's easier to lie and say it all meant nothing, because if she allows herself to become conflicted now, there's no way she'll be able to kill Koro-sensei. She has to harden her heart and give this her all.

... Even if it costs her life. Nagisa is alarmed at how far she's willing to go, but she's barely listening at this point. The tentacles have just about fully taken over, and she's giving this assassination everything she's got. Itona points out it's too late, talking her down won't do anything; they've got minutes until she's dead. Koro-sensei knows this well, and deep down Kaede's hoping that he'll save her.

And this is where it all comes together. They have to distract Kaede from her bloodlust by any means necessary, and Nagisa has that flash of inspiration of how to save her without hurting her... He'll use what Professor Bitch taught him, way back. But it's not just a mechanical, knee-jerk reaction... Even Nagisa knows how deeply intimate kisses are. And he privately reflects on him and Kaede... This kiss is Nagisa making his decision to trust in the Kaede he's come to know all this time. He absolutely refuses to accept it was all a lie... Nagisa might not dare to speculate about the full depths of his emotions for Kaede, but it's indisputable that all of their time together has made him truly treasure their friendship. I would even go so far as to say he loves Kaede. On many levels. He's bonded with all of his classmates, but Kaede's bond feels... especially powerful. She's been by his side the longest, given him confidence, fretted over him... Nagisa might hesitate to admit any romantic feelings he may have, but that's because the kiss was... forced on her, and he's anxious that this is enough to really ruin what they have. More than that, Nagisa still has this doubt in him about why girls would fall for him romantically. He figures Kaede can do a lot better than him, so he focuses on what this action might've done to the bond they have.

... But Kaede, oh Kaede... She finally wakes up from a long dream. Here she is, throwing everything away for the sake of revenge... Throwing her friends away. Throwing Nagisa away... And this boy comes right up to her and kisses her. Refusing to give up on her despite being so hurt by her betrayal. Kaede's completely caught off-guard, and rightfully so. She's shocked at Nagisa's resiliency, such a huge heart he has... But it's not just Nagisa. She's... floored how overwhelmed she feels. This kiss has snapped her back to normal, put her back in the driver's seat instead of the tentacles... And Nagisa keeps kissing her, even after she's back in control. He's not shying away. He's daring to be close with her, intimate with her. For once, she feels this genuine connection she's built up with Nagisa... and it's just too much. She's trapped in this euphoria, this love, and she doesn't want to escape. Nagisa can never replace Aguri, but seeing him risk his life like this... for her... Establishing their bond was, is real... Kaede doesn't understand what's come over her, but damn if she wants it to stop. She's spellbound, and just lets Nagisa save her. After 15 Hits, Nagisa breaks the kiss, and Koro-sensei extracts the tentacles from the lovestruck girl.

Even after Kaede wakes up, she's stunned that Nagisa (and everyone else) is worried about her. He conveys in words this time what she's done for him, why she means something to him... And he makes a plea with her to listen to Koro-sensei's story. Kaede can't really say no to that... because she can finally abandon the act. She can finally be real. Just real. She's here, and she doesn't want to leave.

They all hear Koro-sensei's story, and then Kaede goes to rest at the hospital for the winter break. I'm guessing that this is the first day she's allowed visitors, otherwise Nagisa wouldn't be making this nervous apology about the kiss.... He's uncertain if he should stick to calling her Kayano, or switch over to Yukimura, and Kaede just accepts 'Kayano'. Kayano's the one that built up a rapport with E-Class, not Akari Yukimura. ... Though I'm sure she wouldn't mind changing that. Everyone's been so lost over the break, wondering what they're gonna do from now on, and Kaede feels guilty about forcing this on them... Yet like the sweetheart he is, Nagisa comforts her, refusing to let her blame herself. It's all fun and games until things get real. She's caught off-guard when Nagisa apologizes for the kiss, and she spaces out, unable to look away from his lips... (๑╹ω╹๑ ) But then she snaps out of her lust-filled haze and forgives Nagisa, 'cause... he really did save her. ... And she has no earthly idea of how to handle these repressed emotions inside, so she hides under the blankets so as to not worry Nagisa further. Not wanting to embarrass Kaede, Kanzaki suggests they let her rest, and they take their leave.

... Kaede is left scrambling to calm herself down, because she still doesn't understand why that kiss worked so effectively. This whole time, she was focused on her revenge, focusing on remaining in peak condition... And Nagisa brought her down with a kiss... The thing is, these feelings have been building up for ages. She's only just now become fully cognizant of them. She underestimated Nagisa, and she underestimated herself. All this time, her heart's yearned for someone special to fill the void left behind by Aguri, and Nagisa is definitely the closest person she's been to for months... Sure, it was originally because of her "cover", but Nagisa became her friend through and through. Her best friend. She had fun with him, got angry alongside him, cried alongside him, worried about him, admired him. She became truly alive, capable of moving past Aguri's death... even if she didn't want to. Nagisa was everything she aspired to be, the best assassin in the class... But it wasn't just his deadly skills, Nagisa had such a big, warm heart. He uses his skills for saving people, places everyone else above his own wellbeing...

Nagisa Shiota terrifies her, but in a good, warm and fuzzy way. Kaede really has no idea where this love began or where it'll end... But she's here. She's here because Nagisa and Koro-sensei saved her... All she can do now is...play the part of his friend. She's not sure she deserves that honor... But she'll live because Nagisa fought so hard for her sake. And she'll fight for his sake now. It's only fair.

A chance to begin repaying Nagisa arrives soon enough... The class is divided on what they should do about Koro-sensei, whether they should save or kill him. Kaede makes her choice and sides with Nagisa, because all-around this is an excellent way to redeem herself. She was so dead-set on killing him before without knowing all the facts, and Koro-sensei still risked his life to save her...both he and Nagisa did. She has all this freedom, and she absolutely wants to support the people she loves. The guy her sister loved. And...the guy she loves. It's just a win-win for Kaede.

However...to her dismay, Kaede gets knocked out without shooting any of Red Team. Still, it is nice to receive that affirmation by Okano that whatever happens, they'll stay united as a class. No more masks, no more hidden agendas. It's a weight off Kaede's shoulders, but she still wishes she properly helped Blue Team... In the end, it comes down to Nagisa vs Karma, and Kaede knows the kind of person Nagisa is. He won't take an easy victory over Karma, he wants Red Team to understand where he's coming from. ... And that tenacity and grit pays off, because Karma returns that courtesy. Kaede fretted over Nagisa again...but it all worked out.

They organize a hijacking of a trip to space to get data they need to possibly save Koro-sensei. Nagisa and Karma take point as representatives of the two teams, and Kaede's content to keep giving her support. Nagisa and Karma make it back in one piece, and everything's fine... The risk of Koro-sensei exploding is less than 1%.

The year's not over yet, however... February and entrance exams arrive, and with them comes... Valentine's Day.

At this point, Kaede's feelings have peaked. There is no way she can love Nagisa more than she does now... Kaede has mulled over these feelings for a month, and she's certain it's Love, wholly and completely. At this point she can't keep it to herself... She needs Nagisa to know... But she's so anxious about what she should say to him. She's played roles, studied it... But this is her first time truly experiencing this powerful emotion. That's why she went all this time not knowing what Nagisa meant to her - she was honestly as dense as he was. She's probably anxious about how he'll respond, but more than anything... She wants to convey her heart. Tell him so many things... She's tongue-tied.

... Karma and Rio butt into her conundrum, and at first she's defensive... flustered beyond her wildest imagination when she sees the two Demons preserved that kiss for posterity... She can't hide anything in this state, and she grudgingly accepts the troublemakers' help. They do some recon on their classmates, see how the other girls bestow chocolate, and the ultimate takeaway is...just be yourself, Kaede. Say what you need to say. Karma promises to keep Koro-sensei busy as long as she had that...gift prepared. It all comes down to Kaede now...

And she does. She tried. Standing in front of Nagisa, words escape her as she frets over the little things, like how she looks, feeling flustered when Nagisa shows concern over her silence. She delays the confession and asks what he'll do after Graduation. She is genuinely curious... And without saying directly what he wants to do, Kaede understands right away. He wants to be a teacher, she's seen him look up to Koro-sensei and the way he admires their teacher for everything he's done for the class... Of course Nagisa would want to go down a similar path... He knows better than most kids, there's always going to be children in need. Children without a good role model to follow... Children that just need someone to care. Kaede was one of those kids, too. Everyone in E-Class was like that. Kaede's further impressed with Nagisa, and awed into silence yet again...

Nagisa is unsure what has Kaede so lost in thought, and he cares enough that he doesn't want to disturb her too much. He'll wait as long as possible, but...he briefly looks away and gets distracted by Koro-sensei up in a tree. Without even thinking, he withdraws his gun and aims it... but Koro-sensei's out of range. Much to Nagisa's chagrin. For Nagisa, it was just a moment of distraction. Kaede was still the priority for him... he wants to hear what she has to say...

However, Kaede understands everything now. The reason she was initially attracted to Nagisa... It was that unwavering, straightforward focus. His drive. His commitment. His bloodlust Kaede can't take this away from Nagisa, she doesn't want to distract him. Even after March rolls around and they move on, Nagisa's going to be busy with his dream. She knows from how hard Aguri studied and worked, teaching is a massive undertaking. It's...a good way to live, and above all else she wants to support Nagisa. She can set aside her own happiness, use her acting ability for something good for once... All this time Nagisa supported her without knowing the real her, and she wants to pay him back. She needs to. There's no way she can give him up completely... she'll stick around in his life, but she'll fade into the background.

Nagisa's confused when she gives him the chocolates and thanks him for staying by her side... And he's baffled when she starts pushing him along, ending their conversation as he tries to get a word in edgewise, figure out what her real feelings are... Eventually he gives up for now and accepts she wants to be alone, but I'm sure he leaves pretty reluctantly. If nothing else, he wants to convey that he should be thanking her... But she just won't hear it. She wants him to focus, achieve his dream.

After Valentine's Day, they strap in for the final part of the year... E-Class failed to assassinate Koro-sensei, so now the government steps in. Yanagisawa initiates his endgame strategy, using Koro-sensei's original student as a more refined "Koro-sensei". The teacher is outmatched for a while, but he does manage to hold his own... at least until his students are threatened. And then Kaede makes a foolhardy attempt to distract Reaper 2.0 and give Koro-sensei time to recover... It ends as you'd expect, getting stabbed so thoroughly and...dying.

This is enough to have Koro-sensei unleash his full power, but I noted how Nagisa was the one to scoop up Kaede, how morose he looked with her passing... It would've been nice to flesh that out more, but considering all that was going on, it's understandable that moment was kept brief. And besides... after Koro-sensei defeated his student and Yanagisawa, he did revive Kaede. So Nagisa has an additional moment to convey his joy and relief that she's okay... But shortly after they all celebrate, the time comes to send Koro-sensei off. If they don't... the government's just going to do it for them. It hits them all hard, Kaede and Nagisa included. But they get through the ordeal... The government rewards them, and they're allowed to graduate with their schoolmates from the main campus.

Time marches on. E-Class lead their separate, fulfilling lives. Kaede goes back into acting, and Nagisa becomes a teacher (well, a teacher-in-training). There's no on-screen development for these two, but they've at least kept in touch. Nagisa inherited Koro-sensei's spirit, and Kaede...has some interesting potential dreams~ Like having children... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Doesn't mean she's pregnant now... but wouldn't that be something~ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Hardly needs to be said... but I'll die buried with this ship (人◕ω◕) Kaede deserved better than holding herself back. Nagisa needed to open his eyes. But... It is what it is. Canon gave us more than enough to go on, and especially in the wake of Koro-sensei's death...they needed each other. Nagisa keeps Kaede grounded, gives her hope and love after losing so much... And Kaede's so... dedicated. Like she's already his wife and wants what's best for him, wants him to achieve his dreams. There's always room for a relationship once he becomes a teacher, but c'mon~... Even Karasuma and Professor Bitch got hitched. Had a kid. You're telling me in seven years, we're shown no signs of a deepening relationship for Kaede and Nagisa...? Sheesh. XDDD Japanese and their traditions... Well, it's fine. NagiKae wasn't shot down. So long as the potential exists... I'll sail with this ship forever~ So much chemistry~ So much love~

#assasination classroom #nagisa shiota #kaede kayano #akari yukimura #nagikae

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