#people will be looking back at this point in history

[kanhotep]

I think the problem is that it's not an inherently right or wrong situation.

Stolas:

Yes, he made a lot of mistakes. But he was also in an abusive marriage and never had much agency over his own life. He is allowed to want something for himself. He is allowed to love Blitz. And he never chose Blitz over Via.

From Via's perspective it looks like that and I absolutely understand where she's coming from. But I think from Stola's perspective it was never either Blitz or Via.

He saw Blitz in danger and he knew that he could not live without him. He would have tried for Via. But in the end it would be exactly how Andrealphus prophesied: Blitz's death would have broken Stolas.

If it had been Via's life in danger, he wouldn't have come in there and sang a song trying to take the blame.

He would have gone in there in blazing fury, full demonic form and killed anyone who tried to come between him and his daughter.

Because if Blitz's death would have broken him, Via's death would destroy him.

So yes, Via is angry and it comes from an understable place. But Stolas isn't the villain in that story.

He is flawed and imperfect but he loves her and he never saw Via as an obligation but as a gift. But the seventeen year old doesn't understand that there is a difference between doing things because of someone and for someone.

Lucifer:

Much more complicated matter which is not at all helped by the fact that Charlie is a grown woman and therefore more responsible for her relationship with her father than a teenager is.

All in all, the biggest problem with their relationship is that we're missing a lot of facts.

We don't know when Lucifer and Lilith split up, we don't know what the custody arrangement between them was, we don't know if Lilith had grown resentful of her husband, heck we don't even know if Lilith was Lilith all the time or if Eve dropped in from time to time (necklace theory).

What we do know is this:

Lucifer called Charlie more or less regularly (when he wants something from her)

Charlie never invited Lucifer over [maybe more of a presumption than a fact, but heavily implied]

Lucifer desperately wants to be in Charlie's life

Charlie believes there is something inherently good in every sinner, Lucifer believed the opposite

And following that Charlie sees the Sinners as her people while Lucifer hates them for wasting his gift

The last two points seem to be the greatest point of conflict between them and again, there is no wrong in this.

Lucifer gave mankind free will because he thought he would free them and give them the chance to create, to hope, to live.

But all he ever saw was destruction, despair and death.

He saw the invention of more and more weapons that killed more people in more brutal ways. He saw the invention of biological warfare.

He probably met the hitlist of history's greatest monsters.

And he never saw the opposite. Never saw the architectural wonders we've constructed, never saw how we helped each other, didn't hear of the stories of goodness and hope and joy that is in the world.

After all, who would have told them to the devil?

Still he tried to make it better (or so he says) but nothing stuck. It all just kept getting worse and worse.

And now his little girl is trying what he had already failed to do. Tries to help those souls that he believed to be only capable of hatred and destruction. Asks him to go to heaven.

Heaven. The place that once was his home. The place where the people live he once called family. The people that ripped of his wings and threw away his halo before tossing him, the Morningstar, the lightbringer, into the endless dark. Banishing him and never looking back.

Lucifer saw his child, the most important thing in his life, probably the only good thing he has left, trying to step into his footsteps. Footsteps he knows lead right down a cliff.

Charlie accuses him of not believing in her and to an extent she is right of course. Lucifer does not believe she can achieve her goal.

But it's not because he doesn't believe in Charlie. It's because he doesn't believe in her goal.

Which is an important difference.

And honestly? I don't think he believes in that goal right up until the Finale.

The only thing the song reminds him of, is that Charlie is a strong and wonderful person and she needs to make her own experiences. She needs to at least try. Not only for the Sinners but also for herself.

And he didn't want her to try because he was to afraid for her to fail. For her to be hurt like he was. But Charlie's not him and maybe she's stronger than he ever was.

So he let's her.

Only when she goes and does the impossible, gets a bunch of Sinners to make a stand for a common goal - to work together, fight together, die together - only then does he see that he was wrong. That her goal is not impossible, that his little girl was right and now that he knows that there is good in Sinners left, he supports her wholeheartedly.

Which is why I am absolutely expecting their relationship to drastically improve.

Of course there is a lot more to their relationship than that, a lot more to unpack, but I'm not going to dive into it now because it's mostly guesswork.

Anyways, long story short: The reason why some people hate on Via and Charlie is the same reason why some people absolutely despise Stolas and Lucifer and consider them the worst dads ever: Because their relationships are incredibly complicated and not black and white.

And honestly, isn't that what Hazbin Hotel is all about?

Remind me again why this fandom is so pissy that these two are reasonably upset about their dads’ negligence?

[deposedefenddeny]

Spectator recounts attending Luigi Mangione's arraignment in New York

In about a second after I saw [Luigi Mangione, walked into his arraignment in New York on Dec. 23], all the memes/thirsting/online discoveries about his good character were wiped away as I realized the significance of this young man's LIFE being at stake. I felt so inappropriate to me that I, a random stranger, felt the right to sit in on this arraignment. They walked him in like he was a "spoil of war". The cops are parading him around like a pig on a stick. All of America is obsessing over him, digging up every possible trace of his online presence. And focusing on his appearance and personality instead of the danger he’s in in real life. For example, the sweater from court selling out. This isn’t a thirst trap or a joke, it’s this man’s LIFE! I realized how sick and wrong this all is for me and everyone else there, and all the people obsessing over him online to be a voyeur to this terrible process. I felt like I was contributing to the problem by watching him be "put on display". For example, seeing the way the [mainstream media] wrote about the "dozens of fans who lined up in the early morning, mostly young women" minimizes the point of how unjust this guy's legal process has been. I was nauseous the entire arraignment, and I felt depressed for several days after. I think if I were in his shoes, all of the attention from the public and the online obsession (even though it's supportive) over his personality, looks, and personal history would make me mad uncomfortable. I think the priority should be on supporting him. And some people are saying that digging up all of his online info it could hurt the case. And I think that would be terrible for his fans to end up causing him more injustice. Also, putting up his personal private photos online — including when he was a child— seems really wrong and insensitive to me. Which is why for now I'm going to focus on what people can do to concretely help: writing letters, maybe not sending books (because prisoners only get to take a few into their cells and the rest might be thrown away), calling for healthcare reform, helping with protests, and raising support in a non-creepy way. PS: I would never go back to another hearing. It was horrifying. And I encourage anyone here to not go as well. I don't think it's the right way to help him. I think my perspective is worth sharing as I had a very close view of this in person.

Excerpt of a post by user Theoffice94 on the subreddit FreeLuigi, for which moderators state they had verified that the user attended the arraignment through private communication.

[jasper-the-menace]

There are a lot of things I don't like about "modern retellings" of (usually Greek) myths - a fundamental misunderstanding of mythology, having little to actually do with the mythological figures and gods, using it as an excuse to shit on pagans like me, et cetera - but one of the most frustrating ones is that none of them are actually modern. Instead, they take the Walmart TERF approach to feminism and go "#girlboss!" without actually looking into the history of women during the time of those myths or understanding what it's supposed to do at all. They also don't even take place in the modern day - they're set in some sort of pseudo-Ancient Greece.

Like, okay, here. Let me outline what I'd consider a modern retelling of a myth, using the Perseus myth as an example.

Perseus is a college-aged young man still living with his mom, Danae, in the "big city" (fuck it, let's say Springfield, MO) and trying to make ends meet because they're both working two part-time jobs because none of the jobs actually want to pay for insurance or retirement or whatever. Danae sometimes meets with her best friend and coworker Clymene and Clymene's husband Dictys, who live out in the country and go fishing and hunting during various times of year. Dictys has a brother named Polydectes who is the grown-man version of a Silicon Valley tech bro who's, I don't know, into crypto and shit.

While Polydectes is living on Dictys's couch and ranting about how he's totally gonna be a rich Wall Street executive some day, he sees Danae talking with Clymene while they gut fish and is like "hot chick, gonna stalk her" and is all creepy about it. Perseus is not about that shit, so he starts trying to find a way to get Dictys to back off.

At this point, any number of things could happen. If you want a girlboss Medusa story, she could be, I don't know, a deep web or black market assassin-for-hire and Perseus scrounges up money for it. If you want something more lighthearted and silly, maybe this is taking place in what is essentially a Yugioh-style world where the fate of things lands on card games and Perseus uses a Medusa-esque card to kick Dictys's ass. Medusa could even just be a coworker of Danae and Clymene and overhear them bitching at work about Dictys so she goes to Perseus like "Dude, do you want me to help take care of that guy messing with your mom?" Literally anything could happen at this point.

You don't even have to erase Andromeda! She could be anything from a classmate of Perseus's that he helps out to his coworker that he protects from creeps to...well, again, literally anything! It's a modern world, she's got all kinds of possibilities!

See? A modern retelling would actually be cool as shit if people paid attention to the "modern" part!

[sapphiresaphics]

Gonna re-post this here as its own separate post for those who want to understand what the Black Rose arc was about.

———

Ambessa discovered the Black Rose, a group of Noxian mages that go against the beleifs of Noxian culture to keep people in check. The Black Rose act as a sort of secret society that controls Noxian culture from the inside. Making sure that nobody ever rises too high in their eyes.

Ambessa doesn't like the idea of someone telling her she can't do something, so she has an illegitimate child with a mage. That child is Mel and Mel inherits magic powers as a result. The idea being that Mel could eventually be used to fight the Black Rose.

As the Black Rose start to suspect something is up, Mel is sent off to live in Piltover. Hidden away from them.

Mel, thinking she's been banished or abandoned by her mother, strives to put Piltover on the map by manipulating the counsel and working towards bettering Piltover's technological progress.

Meanwhile, Mel's brother starts to look into Mel's history and discovers the Black Rose stuff and get sucked into their web. He is ultimately killed as the Black Rose try to figure out if he was the illegitimate child or not.

At this point, Mel has championed Hex Tech and turned it into a great economic boon for Piltover. But when Jinx attacks the city and Hex Tech is stolen, chaos starts to throw things into disarray.

News of the attack and stolen technology makes its way back to Ambessa. Grief stricken and terrified of the Black Rose, Ambessa realizes she can finally use Mel's ambition for her own personal gain. She needs Hex Tech weaponry so she can stand up to the Black Rose once and for all.

So Ambessa arrives in Piltover's and starts getting in the ear of Jayce and pushing him towards violence.

And because of her, Jayce makes a hextech weapon and goes into the undercity to take on Silco.

Pissed off Ambessa did this, Mel disowns her mother and her heritage and tries to fix the wrongs. And just as things are looking like it's gonna be okay... Jinx bombs the counselors chamber.

Mel's powers unlock and end up protecting her and Jayce, but nobody else. Ambessa uses this chaos to push for more violence. As Mel continues to stand in her way, Ambessa chooses an even more risky plan.

Ambessa sets the undercity up for an attack on the memorial, which pushes things even further. Mel is no longer in control and Hex Tech weapons are now a real thing.

But the Black Rose have caught on to what Ambessa is doing. And at first they possess the body of a merchant head to try and get close to her, but it fails.

Ambessa is able to kill her and this causes her to panic and nominate Caitlyn to be a general.

Having failed to directly attack Ambessa, the Black Rose falls back on Mel and kidnap her. This happens to coincide with Jayce, Heimerdinger, and Ekko being caught in the Wild Rune.

Ambessa now has control of the city, but she's lost all her magical weaponry. Nobody is smart enough to make weapons for her using Hex Texh, and her magical daughter is gone! So Ambessa falls back on using Singe to make chem-weaponry and eventually tries to make an army that can't be killed.

Remember, Ambessa's only real goal is to get rid of the Black Rose. She doesn't care what happens to anyone else in the pursuit of this goal. Which is exactly why the Black Rose is getting more and more desperate. All their attempts to sideline Ambessa are failing, and now it seems like if she keep going down this path she will unintentionally unleash Viktor's machine Herald onto the population of the world and destroy everything!

So when Mel, in captivity, finally unlocks her magical abilities and proves that she was the illegitimate child Ambessa had, the Black Rose have one last chance to stop Ambessa. Recruit Mel to do it for them. They tell Mel that Ambessa's ambition will ruin the world, and they give her a token that she can use to stop her.

Mel returns to the city of Piltover and tries desperately to reason with Ambessa, but she's too far gone now. Ambessa will not stop. And her war with Piltover is fast approaching worldwide destruction.

During the battle, Caitlyn sacrifices her eye to rip off the magical armor Ambessa had been using and Mel uses the magical amulet the Black Rose gave her to stop her mother.

But Mel is an empath. She also doesn't want the Black Rose to succeed, so she steps in and prevents the Black Rose from killing her mother. She saves her mother from the Black Rose, but the damage is done, and Ambessa dies in her arms.

Mel, now realizing she is magical AND in charge of Ambessa's army, heads back to Noxus to potentially challenge the Black Rose once and for all.

The End.

[marimayscarlett]

Hi I’m back back, back again! With more questions!

The fandom calls Paul and Richard guitars husbands right? But to help a relationship status to married you have to gradually progress through the stages of like: pining, mutual pining, dating, boyfriends and then finally married.

I was wondering what pictures or gifs/videos represent those stages for our dearest guitarists?

If I forgot one feel free to add one or remove one if it doesn’t have any fitting content! 😌 🖤

Hello dear, and thank you for your ask! 😊

I have to admit, though, I found this ask a bit tricky to answer at first. I kept going back and forth, trying to establish a clear timeline for Paul and Richard’s, let’s call it loosely, “relationship.” In some ways, that’s possible. At the start of the band’s history, we have a popular example of looks exchanged that could definitely be interpreted as “pining” or “longing”:

(GIFs by @ukulelette)

Later on, there were repeated moments on stage where they looked for closeness or looked out for each other:

Nowadays, there are wonderful moments on stage filled with cheekiness, emotions, joy, and surely also some kind of love between two people who’ve worked together for 30 years, experienced so many life situations together, endured a lot in the band's life and in general..:

(first gif by @sechsherzen)

And yet... the story between Paul and Richard always seems incredibly dynamic to me. They started out as young musicians who discovered a lot of common ground in their musical visions (I think I recall Richard saying something along the lines of “he completes me”). At the same time, they were also musical rivals in some ways, given they played the same instrument. Two people with strong opinions and firm points of views in things, who sometimes wouldn’t accept any other viewpoint but their own. They are so similar, yet have their struggles, especially to see that they're so similar it seems.

But they always manage to come back together, no matter how difficult working together might be - even going as far as seeking help for their communication (Olsen Involtini apparently played a big role in ensuring that harmony was quickly restored, as mentioned here). They maybe do it simply because they see the bigger picture. They see that enduring personal differences is worth it for the good of the band. They share the same drive to make things happen and, over the years, have learned to listen to one another and give each other space to express themselves.

If we indulge in the “Paulchard” fantasy, we can find moments of connection (body contact or just looking out for each other) at various points in the band’s history. It’s difficult for me to identify a clear chronology here - whether it’s the 90s, the challenging Mutter era, or the MiG tour...:

Of course, their warmth towards each other has exponentially increased in recent years! Longing, hugs, kisses, comforting each other, or just being there for one another.... And sometimes really taking their time with each other during these interactions, like in Frankfurt for the plane watching 🥹.

It feels like they can express these things more freely now, in their more mature years, after all their shared experiences - or at least it appears that way. And for that, I’m very happy.

(first gif by @mrsfitzgerald)

So, yes. Paulchard interactions are varied, dynamic, and ever-changing, just as most likely a relationship between people is. 🤍

And for people who like to see the Paulchard wedding with their own two eyes, there's always lovely edits 😄

(some more picture sources: x x)

[maudie-duan]

Summary: What happens when the man you've loved since childhood decides he's ready to settle down, but it turns out you are no longer his forever. How would you cope with the sudden engagement? For Blair, it's a hard pill to swallow, knowing that the beautiful girl smiling in all his pictures will get her forever. I guess it's a blue Christmas this year.

A/N: I have to make a confession: I hate Christmas music, but the first time I heard Sabrina Carpenter's 'Cindy Lou Who' I knew this was my kind of Christmas song. I love a sad song, and this song feeds my "angsty soul," So please give it a listen before you read. This whole story is my interpretation of the song. Hope you like it. Happy Holidays enjoy!!!!

Requests: Here

Word Count: 6K

Warning: Mentions of Sex, Strong Angst and Langue, Family Dynamics, Mentions of Pregnancy, Heartbreak.

I don’t think sneaking my ex-boyfriend out of my parent’s house is the best look for anyone on Christmas morning, but technically, it’s still Christmas Eve if you haven’t gone to sleep yet, right?

To be fair, he was the one knocking on my window, stumbling his way to my bed. Casually, bringing up the past, circling back to things I thought I had already unpacked with my best friend after I scrolled his girlfriend’s social media, backtracking five years, to be honest, she had me broader line obsessed.

He made his way to my bed and in between my legs, touching place and sharing space in the best way we knew how, and that’s the funny thing about having history with someone—sometimes it makes it harder to say no when it’s knowingly what you want the second they step foot into a place that once served as a sanctuary to you both—a garden where words weaved trust, that turned into secrets, carving out a space of our very own; a world that we created and while he wasn’t my first kiss he was everything else.

I’ve lost track of how many times our words of forever were passed between our mouths, tangled in shared breaths of “I swear until the day I die, I’m yours.” When you’re young, you believe it because it’s all you have—and we took that with us when we thought we were ready for the world—two foolish kids on an endeavor to forge these grown-up dreams of a grand gesture without a second thought, only relying on the word “love,” like love could weather any storm.

The hardest lesson we learned was that love isn’t always enough. Sometimes, you can love someone with all your being and forget that they’re not a possession—but a person. Was that our mistake? I don’t know, but we wanted to be our own people at some point and find ourselves outside of only identifying as “we.” 

Let me tell you, that’s a hard pill to swallow, and from time to time, I still find myself choking on it, especially when it is obvious we still click—we didn’t need sex to know that we still worked, fit together like a puzzle that had been forgotten, and dusted off, only to find that you still had every single piece. Still, when Harry tried to kiss me goodbye, I pulled away.

“Hey—what is it…tell me?” he asks

“Nothing…it’s just late. You know how my mom is about Christmas morning.” I lie because the reality of his leaving is starting to sink in. I’m not ready for him to leave, but we both knew that there would be an ending to this.

He laughs, attempting to shrug his jacket on, and I glimpse the joy of the familiar memory dance across his features, “Yeah, she can be kind of crazy, right?”

“Yeah—but not any crazier than your mom,” I laugh. 

“Hey now—actually…you know they kind of feed off each others crazy…” He says, fighting to find the sleeve of his jacket, and when I reach to help, something falls from his pocket, a loud thud clashing against the hardwood floor. I look down, thinking he knocked something off my shelf, but then I see it.

We both stare at the ground, a small box lying in the space between us, “You shouldn’t have…” I declare, bending down—Looking back now, I don’t know what I was thinking—You know this tends to happen when you rely on your wit to get you out of awkward situations. I thought it would be cute and clever. I would open the box, and it wouldn’t be exactly what I knew it was—a ring, but not just any ring—the ring.

“Hey—hey—hey…give me that,” He jokes, trying to turn it into a game, but I’m in too deep to give it up. I can only focus on getting a peek at the ring, which is now a broken promise, and right this second, I’m desperate enough to open this box—basque in the feeling of the “what if” this was mine.

I turn away, shoving his hand out of the way, compulsively straining to get a look at this ring, immediately getting aggressive when he tries to reach over my shoulder. “Stop Harry—” I urge.

“Come on, Blair—this isn’t funny…” He says, unamused, but he’s too late, and as I shove my elbow into his ribs, the box is flipping open, the glint of the diamond catching the light of the moon shining through the window. He stops then because what’s the use, right? Here it is—the ring—perfect, everything I would have wanted. It’s almost like a slap in the face, like he looked back on one of the many pictures I sent over the years, thinking one day this would be me. 

The ring is stunningly beautiful. There is so little light yet it’s drawn to every facet; immaculate, precise cuts creating the perfect sparkle. There is nothing humble about it, but nothing seems to be humble about him anymore, including his life choices—and here I am, holding my breath, afraid to move, listening to his flustered exhale when I slam the box closed, a loud clap shut. 

Without a word, I nudge him away from me, “Blair, listen—I was going to tell you…”

“When—? Before or after we had sex, Harry…Is that what this was?” I yell.

He panics and cups a hand over my mouth. It’s not hard, but it annoys the hell out of me, and I wrench his arm away, forcing him toward the window, “Don’t you fucking do that—you don’t get to do that—”

“I’m sorry—but seriously, Blair, let’s not wake your family,”

I let out a dry laugh, “Oh—trust me, they would understand—” I seeth.

“Oh, for fucks sake, Blair, that’s not fair—I don’t know what this was…I just really wanted to see you—” he says, raking a hand through his hair, a deep crease forming between his brows, and he licks his lips, running a hand down his face as he turns away.

“What do you want me to do? This is the way it’s supposed to work out. You know my family …I don’t really have a say. You know that—”

“Please—Harry—you’re almost 30 years old. You don’t think you have any say in your life?”

He turns around, a condescending laugh filling the space, “You of all people should understand…”

“Well—I thought I did…but I don’t think I do anymore. It just doesn’t make sense…none of this seems to make sense anymore. I don’t understand how we could be perfectly fine one day, and as soon as your dad put you on the path to be a partner at his firm—which we both knew would happen—” I start.

He shakes his head, pinching his lower lip between his thumb and index finger, contemplating my words, “Help me make it; make sense. When we knew all along what the path was going to be. Were did “WE” get lost because I did nothing but support you, and then you went away on that trip with your family—”

“And you’re on about this again…” he interrupts, words cutting like knives because this was the theme of some of our biggest arguments.

I’m shaking my head this time, confusion inching through my brain, straining to grasp for details I thought I packed away. “Now that’s not fair…” I force, my throat burning with the effort of biting back tears. 

“Listen—this is my fault—” he says, reaching for the box, “I shouldn’t have come. I knew this would be a bad idea, but I just—”

I grasp onto the box, wanting to catch his eyes. I want to see the regret, “Tell me, does it hurt you, hurting me…I could have waited for your mom’s Facebook post…I know she’s over the moon with her…just fucking smitten that’s she’s everything and more—”

“I should go,” he says, his eyes darting to the window before he slides the box into his pocket. He opens the window, and the cold breeze flits into the dark room, reminding me of how little I have on. My eyes float to the bed, already mourning us like a fading memory—disappointment crawling up my spine, the sick twist of regret already tearing at my emotions as tears fill my eyes.

“Yeah, this was a bad idea…” I tell him, choking on the words, and I can feel my body starting to tremble. I want him gone, forever, to leave and be with his girlfriend, who will get him in the daylight. Who will kiss the mouth of the man I love for the rest of her life—and I’m sick—sick with the thought of them—and damn—This was easier when there was distance when I could pretend he didn’t exist.

“I’m sorry, bee—” He whispers, a slight trimmer in his voice as he reaches out to me, and let him because if this is all that is left. I want that last kiss. I want a kiss from the lips that were once mine, but when he pulls me in, I reach for his face, and he interjects, grasping my hands in his, denying me my one last wish.

“Harry…” I whisper, hot tears burning my eyes, “It’s just you and me right now…” I plead because he has that look of goodbye in his eyes; the reality setting in, like me standing here in his old tee-shirt, is too real for him—The cold draft of the air brings the world in with it. Yes, I feel it too, but his hands are so warm, his face is so sweet and kind, and I know what he’s about to do.

“Bee—” He tries, swallowing hard, like the words are stuck in his throat, tears drawing in his eyes, and he rubs his lips together, shaking his head as his eyes dart to our hands, and I grip his hands harder because he’s going to leave—he’s going to leave, and I’m never going to get his back; This man—the love of my life. There’s never a time he hasn’t had me, and he’s going to leave, he’s going to move on, and he will still have me because I could never let him go.

And when the tears spill over and fall down his cheeks, my body aches with a longing that’s so deep in my bone it hurts—my love for him hurts so fucking bad that I don’t think I’ll ever not love him or not want to be with him. He’s standing here breaking my heart all over again, and I still love him. I still want him always and forever like he fucking promised me because he did promise, and now she gets him; she gets to have my always and forever.

Now he’s pulling away, and I won’t let him go; I can’t let him go. “Bee…please…” he begs softly.

“I love you,” I cry out, “I love you so much, H—” and he pulls me into his body, letting me sob into his chest, my hot breath seeping into his body, and I breathe him in, trying to memorize our scent, but it there like muscle memory something I could never forget.

“You know I love you, Bee…” he breathes, pressing a warm kiss to the top of my head, “You know I will always love you, but you know that we can never do this again…”

His words slice through my pain, filling me with rage, and he’s right. We can’t do this ever again; he doesn’t get to have me like this and go back to her—and I’m so fucking mad at myself for falling into his trap because I’ve been so good. I can’t even remember the last time I talked to him. He knew what would happen when he knocked on my window, and I was so stupid to let him—yet here he is still wielding his power. 

“You have to go,” I tell him, trying to force myself from his arms, and Harry’s grip tightens.

“I’m sorry, Bee—”

“No—this was wrong—this was all wrong, and you shouldn’t have done this…we shouldn’t have done this—”

I push him toward the window, angry adrenaline a trimmer in my fingertips when I bring a shaky hand up to tuck my hair behind my ear, “You did this to us…” I tell him.

“I’m—” he starts, and I know he’s just going to try and apologize, but that will never be enough, not when I know what happens next—and what? Did he use me? Did he feel sad and come looking for my sympathy?

“Leave—” I spit.

“Bee…come on—”

“Leave!” I say louder, loud enough to send an echo through the room. He stiffens, his panic reaching his face, and I cross my arms over my chest.

“Fine—” he hisses, his hair falling into his face as he bends his body halfway through the window. Harry doesn’t even look back; he doesn’t even give me a tiny morsel of hope, and I don’t know what I was expecting. Then Harry is out the window, and I slam it shut, swiping the curtains closed.

“Merry fucking Christmas, you Asshole…” I breathe, falling onto the bed to cry. 

…

Here’s the thing about Christmas in my house: we wake up and celebrate, and nothing else is allowed. It’s the one time of the year when my mom is allowed to live in the delusion that everything is merry and bright. There’s no space to be sad. She’s up with the rising sun, her hair perfectly manicured, her make-up set for pictures, wrapped in a festive robe she just “rolled out of bed” in, and then she’s on to two more outfit changes. 

So this morning, when I woke, ready to welcome her joyful cheer, I was surprised to see none. I found her standing at the sink, my dad leaning against the counter like I had just interrupted a fight, maybe some disagreement they didn’t want me part of. My first thought was that they knew. They saw Harry leaving, or maybe my voice had carried, and they heard me arguing with him.

It was like being a teenager all over again as I walked toward the coffee maker to pour myself a cup. Without fail, the clink of the dish against the stone countertop ricochets through the thick silence in the room, making me jumpy; the slurp of the pour is interrupted when my mom speaks. “All I’m going to say is let’s get through this day. I don’t want to talk about it. We can call all touch base once everyone is gone—Bee, will you stay longer this time or not?” 

I’m in the midst of taking a sip, and the hot liquid hits my top lip, burning me as my eyes move from my dad to my mom in question, confused by whatever this is that I walked in on, “I wasn’t sure if I wanted to stay longer…I have a project—”

“Can you—?” she asks flatly like you better say “yes.” 

I look to my dad, who raises his brows, eyes widening, and he blows out a breath, his lip puffing as he brings his coffee to his mouth, “Fine.” I answer because it doesn’t seem like there’s any other option.

And that was it—She switched up her mood as quickly as the conversation ended. I stood there sipping my coffee, mentally preparing, and that’s how we carried on, pushing it under the rug.

It started with presents, each gift given its proper praise, mom all smiles, dad snapping pictures, my sister nudging my shoulder as a constant reminder to keep up the show, and it was perfect—it was— but every time the camera flashed. I could feel myself drifting to the thought of all the pictures that would greet me when I opened my phone—How her red lips and long dark hair would steal my breath, her beauty outshining us all. 

She became the jealous quake in my bones at the thought of Harry down on one knee, entrancing my thoughts, repeatedly threatening to pull me out of the moment—and now my mom is shouting from across the room, bidding for my attention, as I try and swallow the persistent lump burning a hole in my throat, making every word a battle of will to say the most straight-forward sentence—and it wasn’t fair; It wasn’t fair that I got to sit with it all day—a reel of memories cascading through my mind, always the slightest reminder to remind me of the past.

The smallest gestures, a deep-seeded pain strangling my insides; all my dad had to do was glance down at his watch. The watch Harry gave him when he turned forty or every time my mom tucked her behind her ear, I caught sight of the diamond earrings he got her and his mom, making them both laugh the last Christmas we all shared because that was our thing—it almost doesn’t seem real that our moms used to be best friends, nowadays it feels like a lifetime since they even shared one word, my mom growing bitter the day Harry broke my heart.

A sudden breakup can wreck anyone, and inherently, our families became the collateral damage, causing a complicated ripple through our families, a rigid divide that none of us knew how to address, let alone manage any semblance of a relationship; maybe that was our fault. I couldn’t be his friend. It hurt too much to try and mask my feelings, to manipulate them into something they weren’t, like right now—how I’m torturing myself, scrolling through social media, almost hoping I’ll see the pictures I know his mom will post. Perhaps it will be what I need; to rip the bandaid off, the right push I need to fucking move on because I don’t know how much longer I can live in the misery of what was and wasn’t.

Dissasoiating—the word of the day—a single word that could describe my whole day because somehow it’s dinner, and I’m sitting around the table trying to piece together the lapse in time I’ve lost. All it takes is one look at my mom to straighten up and be present. I don’t even know what they’re talking about, nor do I care, but when my cousin Jenny asks me to pass the potatoes, and the light captures the glint of her new engagement ring, my stomach drops, the hideous ache of jealousy climbing up my spine, and I’m sick again, my stomach turning at the thought, that maybe he’s already done it, maybe he’s asked her and she’s wearing his ring on her finger, and they’re sitting around the table; and every time she takes a bite it reflects the light from the chandler, everyone smiling because what a happy time, what a perfect day; what a bright fucking future they have.

This time, I can’t control it; it’s all too much, and I’m scraping the chair back, politely excusing myself, then bounding to the upstairs bathroom, yanking my phone from my pocket—and without a passing thought, I’m doing it—I’m calling Harry—by the first ring, I’m in panic mode, pacing back and forth, willing myself to end the call, trying to keep the phone from sliding down my sweaty palm.

I’m all adrenaline as I force the phone against my ear, the ring getting louder, and each time it rings, a gnarled knot of guilt builds in the depth of my belly. I keep looking to the toilet on the verge of falling to my knees and heaving anything that made its way to my stomach—then Harry forwards the fucking call to voicemail, and tears are spilling over my lids, my whole body hot, like maybe I’ll combust right here, explode with the fury of heat rising in my body.

I’m surprising myself when I press his name again, bringing the phone back to my ear, and I hold my breath, waiting for the first ring. It rings and then rings again, and by the third ring, I think I might get through—and it’s all a joke because yeah fucking right—By the fifth ring, I’m second-guessing myself again, shame eating away at my flesh, and then he’s forwarding the call again—my shame flying out the window.

Okay, yes, maybe this is the part where I tell you I should be embarrassed—but fuck it, I’m calling again, losing myself a little more each time he forwards my call. By the 8th call, I’m tormenting myself, a pitiful excuse of a human on the ground so caught up in my own grief that I don’t even hear my sister knocking on the door. The knock sounds, making my heart leap in my chest, the fear of being caught ripping through like an earth quack, and I’m up, catching sight of my reflection in the mirror, not even recognizing the person looking back at me. 

I haven’t felt this desperate since we broke up, like an anxious tick buzzing under my skin. The humiliation of it all is a time bomb, counting down the seconds until it ignites inside me—and I’m there. I ignore the steady stream of knocks and crouch down like the monster I’ve become because I can’t look at myself and do what I know I’m about to do—it’s my one last stance, and I shoot Harry a text:

“Your a fucking coward!” I send and then realize I used the wrong fucking “your,” and my pride won’t let me go out like this. I send a quick “you’re” to fix my mistake and watch the screen, knowing he is now more aware of his than before. When the line changes from “delivered” to “read,” I watch the tiny dots collect in the corner of the screen, awaiting his reply—they appear and disappear several times until it finally stops altogether, and he leaves me on read.

Just as I’m about to send “fuck you!” my sister opens the door, pushing the bobby pin she used to pick the lock back into her hair, and closes the door behind her. “Dude, whatever is going on right now—you need to get it together—it’s one fucking day, okay…that’s all mom asks for, and she’s down there growing impatient. So seriously…if you’re up here freaking out about another dude you met on a dating app—like this isn’t the time—”

“I had sex with Harry—” I confess right then and there because I know this will be the only thing that will make her understand.

“No—” she says, pulling a handful of toilet paper from the roll, “We’re not doing this right now…” She wipes the tears from my face and forces me out of the bathroom and into my room.

“You have two minutes to get your shit together. I need Mom to be in a good mood today…listen, I have big shit going on too, but you don’t see me up here crying—” and she’s right. I saw her pregnancy test in our shared bathroom trash. She must have been panicked when she half-assed her wrapping job on her test. I know I taught her better than that, but this was what I needed to pull myself back up.

I came down the stairs with a smile. Everyone in the sitting room was having coffee and dessert; this was the last stretch. This is all we had left, and then I can check my phone that my sister made me leave upstairs—and so I would drone on keeping up with conversations, tossing out witty remakes, bringing laughter and joy to everyone around, and when my mom sent me a genuine smile, I felt myself smiling back, enjoying the company of my family; and when dad slipped me the “good” eggnog I realized that there’s nothing better at taking the edge off then alcohol.

Four eggnogs in on an empty stomach, and I was working the room, exaggerating about my life and all the projects I’ve taken on at work, dodging questions about my dating life, and when my grandma brought up Harry four times, dammit, I didn’t even flinch, I just kept the conversation moving, filter out the emotions coursing through me like a breeze on a sunny day, right before a summer storm sets in. I even kept it cute and classy when cousin Jen took her engagement ring on a tour around the room, gutting me like a fish when she said, “I never thought I would get married before you…you know…like you and Harry were like “it” you know—” and I’m smiling again, getting a nod of approval from mom when she hears me congratulate Jen again, admiring her beautiful ring.

By eggnog five, I’m switching to “what he’s having,” I shout to my dad as I watched him pour, maybe whisky over the rocks, a shallow pour, but it packed a punch. I knew it was time to dial it back when I found myself leaning over Jenny, who was flipping between her social platforms, landing on Facebook, where I know for a fact Harry’s mom would be posting, taking care to tag everyone in each photo—which brings me back to the time when dear ole’ cousin Jenny started following Harry. It was Christmas break, we had just turned fifteen, and I could tell she had a crush on him. She spent all Christmas break following us around, cornering him anytime she could get him alone; I had to share my bed with her that Christmas, and I remember how miserable I was without the gift of Harry crawling through my window on Christmas Eve.

It’s wild to think of how feeble my grasp on time was when we were young, how a couple of weeks could feel like an eternity; it’s been less than a day since I saw him last. How am I supposed to go a lifetime of never hearing his voice again, to look into those green eyes that have seen me through so many changes, not to feel those hands that have cradled me like a child, held me like a lover, squeezing and pulling me into shapes that fit him; arms that carried and lifted me to heights that I could never have reached on my own—and maybe I speaking figuratively because no one has carried me at my worst or lifted me at my best until I was the best version of myself, but isn’t funny how the people that bring out our best know exactly how to rally the worst parts of us.

Mom taps her dessert spoon to her glass, grabbing everyone’s attention. It’s time for her big send-off speech. My eyes dart to my sister leaning against the fireplace, rolling her eyes, “I just want to start by saying I’m so thrilled that you’ve all chosen to spend this joyous holiday with us…you all know this is my absolute favorite holiday and every year I look forward to spending it with each and every one of you—” she tells us raising her glass, and everyone knows what’s coming next and as she starts her final lines— the same lines she uses every year—my sister sends me a wink mouthing the lines in unison with our mother.

“There’s no time like Christmas to let you know how appreciated you are. I feel honored to call you family…” and her hook, line, and sinker is, “May the light of Christmas warm your hearts this holiday season and remember love is the true spirit of Christmas—” 

My throat burns as she finishes, “And always know how much I love you and always will…so before I start getting too emotional, I better cut myself off—” she laughs, wiping a tear from her eye, and as much as I hate how crazy she gets about Christmas, she really is amazing at being so selfless; to give everyone such a beautiful day, and I’m so grateful for her and my family, and then the doorbell rings taken everyone by surprise. We all freeze, eyes moving around the room because we’re all here, and no one is expecting anyone.

“Fred—” my mom calls to my dad. “Are we expecting anyone else?” 

My dad’s reaction is slow, but he launches himself from the chair and excuses himself. When he comes back, he looks bewildered, half-tipsy as he shrugs his shoulder to tell us no one was there—and that was that. No one blinked an eye—yet my first thought was Harry, and I felt myself slipping because the whole day had passed; certainly, theirs was over by now, and the thought had me breaking my own heart, picturing her in his old bed, the whole family tucked away in their rooms, still riding out the high of such a magically joyful day.

And she’ll kiss his lip and say, “I love you.” He’ll lay her down in the bed I gave myself to him in, and he’ll make love to her like he loved me last night, and there is no end; there’s no end to the torture of it all because how can one person fuse themselves to every fiber of my being—and more importantly how could I still allow it?

As the last guest passed our threshold, Mom, being the gracious host she was, sent them off with candies and cookies, and I stood there wishing I was more like her, like my sister, who could always pretend, who knew how to wear “the smile” like a badge of honor. I wondered why this all had to be so hard. Why is love all or nothing? Why can’t we flip a switch and “poof,” it’s gone?

I watched my mom close the door, my siblings dispersing, and my dad already making his way back to his chair, but my mom just stood there. She let out a heavy sigh, her once perfect posture decompressing as she held on to the doorknob, “Oh Bee—” she said, eventually turning around to face me, and suddenly it looked like the weight of the day had finally caught up to her beautiful features, now tired—a mournful pinch between her brows, pursuing her lip while her eyes roamed my face. I’m trying my hardest to keep it together because there is something about that look a mom can give, that “I can fix everything with a hug” look.

“Do you need anything…I didn’t sleep very well last night. I was thinking of calling it early. if that’s okay?” I ask

“Oh honey, don’t worry about it…it’s been a long day for everyone,” she states, unbuttoning the first two buttons of her silk blouse, that mourful look still lacing her features.

“Let’s just deal with the clean up tomorrow…sound good, baby?” she tells me, slinging an arm around my shoulder, “I know today was hard for you…Thank you for being such a good sport. I’m so proud of the way you handled yourself. You did a beautiful job, sweetie.”  Her words catch me off guard, and I turn to face her, my throat burning at the thought that she knows everything.

I swallow hard, opening my mouth to let out the words building up, but I can only manage a small whimper. “Listen, honey,” Mom starts, and I’m already a puddle in her arms, wanting my mommy to make it all better.

“I’m not going to lie and say it gets better, but one day, it’s not going to hurt as bad as it hurts right now, and eventually, when you find someone new—” 

I gasped out a sob then, her words hitting every sore spot on my body, “Shhh—Shh—I know baby, I know—but listen,” She said, cradling my face in her hands, “I know that this isn’t what you want to hear—”

“But one day you will find someone new, and they’ll be just enough to get you over that last slump of pain, and maybe if you’re lucky enough…which I know you are…Harry will become a pleasant memory of the past, baby, because both of you were so lucky to have what you had. Not everyone will get to say they had a love like the two of you shared, and that is so so special, honey, so special—”

The tears are rolling down my cheeks faster than my mom can swipe them away, and it’s taking every ounce of strength I have to keep myself upright, “I love him so much—” I push past the sob, shuttering through me.

“I know, honey, I know—one of the hardest lessons we can learn is to let the people we love go, let them go so they can be free, and if it’s meant to be, they’ll come back—”

“I can’t, Mom, I can’t do it,” I cry, trying to bury my face into her shoulder, but she has a firm grip on it. Blair Marie, you are so strong, honey, and we are all here for you. You can do this, okay?” she says, nodding her head up and down.

“Okay?” She asks again, and I nod in agreement, “Listen—between you and me, we’re going to have our hands full anyway, right? Don’t think I don’t know about your sister—she’s next.”

I’m stunned into silence. “Yeah, I know. That’s how I felt at first. Honey, I love you. I am here for you. Now go get some rest…” she says, pushing me toward the stairs.

“Oh—and hopefully, we aren’t expecting any unexpected guests this evening….”

I shake my head, “I—” 

“Yeah, slamming your window at the crack of dawn is a dead give away—”

Somehow, she manages to get a smile out of me, and I roll my eyes, ready to make my way up the stairs, “Hey, Mom, thank you for making today so beautiful…it really was beautiful.” I tell her.

“Oh—! And Mom, thank you for those kind words. I love you.” she smiles, placing a hand over her heart, and we share a look of knowing—and without a doubt, that woman managed to lift my spirits—again. She’s too good at that; she is father fucking Christmas.

And while my heart still felt heavy, I felt like I could get through this night. I would march into my room, head straight for my phone, and turn it off; there would be no doomsday scrolling. I would take a shower, hell maybe even take a hot bath to rid myself of this day—Maybe I would even start packing away everything in my childhood room that reminded me of him, set myself up for the next year, and seriously, it was amazing how quickly the motivation surged up my chest; almost bursting at the seams with the very thought of it.

So by the time I turned my knob, I was ready, so fucking ready—But as the door clicked open, a cold chill grazed over my wrist. All I saw was my curtains billowing back and forth with the breeze flowing in and out of my window, and I rushed over to shut the damn window because I didn’t remember opening it, but maybe my sister opened it while I was fixing my make up earlier and that’s when I hear it:

“Bee—” 

I slam the window shut, panic rushing through me, every limb of my body shaking with it as I turn toward the sound. And there he is, the love of my life, sitting on the edge of my bed, hunched over with his face buried in his hands, and when he looks up. I can tell he’s been crying, and he pulls a small box from his pocket and places it on the nightstand, right next to the very same box that held his future, and all he says is, “I couldn’t do it—”

[butwhatifidothis]

I just wanna just. Say something real quick, with the year ending soon.

3H is the one saying that the Nabateans were nearly all killed off.

3H is the one who has the Agarthans be the ultimate bad guys in every route and have them be defeated in some way in every route.

3H is the one saying that the Nabateans were defending themselves against power hungry humans and were the ones to restore everything power hungry humans destroyed.

3H is the one saying that the Agarthans knew that Nemesis was just a bandit who cared for nothing but power - that Nemesis was not some freedom fighter, but a genocidal tyrant.

The creators of 3H are the ones saying that the Nabateans never tried to "control" humanity, only that they ruled over them.

The creators of 3H are the ones saying that Nemesis and the Agarthans killed the Nabateans for power.

The creators of 3H are the ones saying that Rhea never tried to control humans when she made the Church of Seiros and rewrote history.

The creators of 3H are the ones that made the one route where the Nabateans are specifically targeted as enemies who "need" to be gotten rid of and the one route where you work with the Agarthans in any way the one route they explicitly say is the villain route.

There is no ambiguity in 3H that is enough for the interpretation of Nabateans being evil and the Agarthans being good to hold water. None. Both within the game itself and through the words of the creators, everything makes it clear that the Nabateans are the victims who are generally a source of good and that the Agarthans are the victimizers who are generally a source of evil.

And there is a reason that the people who insist otherwise have to lie about what the Nabateans have done in order to make them look wrong. There is a reason why they have to turn to the noncanonical spinoff game to get anything more to "back up" their claims - and why they still have to lie about what that game says anyway. There is a reason why they would rather support a group of characters who have proven themselves willing to instigate genocide against innocent people for power even when not accounting for the Nabateans, regarding the Tragedy, than say there is anything good about the Nabatean race at all. There is a reason that, in their reasonings and explanations as to why the Nabateans are evil, in their rush to say what they think should happen to the Nabateans, these people always fall back on real life, genuine racial supremacy rhetoric.

There is a reason why, even when directly told by victims of this racial supremacist rhetoric that what they're saying harkens back to racial supremacy, they continue to say the racial supremacist rhetoric - why they defend the racial supremacist rhetoric as "not being the same" because the Nabateans' race "doesn't actually exist." There is a reason why they insist that their racial supremacy rhetoric that is the exact same as every other racist's supremacy rhetoric about actual, real life races of actual, real life people is just being "taken out of context" - why they not-so-subtly imply that racial supremacy rhetoric has contexts in which they are okay to say.

At this point I'm not really going to sugarcoat it: if you see someone try to make the point that Nabateans are all evil and deserved the genocide that fell on them - or that what happened to them wasn't a genocide because they are all evil, or there totally weren't that many of them so it isn't a genocide, or there's totally more in some unseen unexplored location we just never see or hear about so it isn't a genocide - and/or that the racist, murderous, genocidal Agarthans were the good guys who "the writers failed to make look bad," despite everything directly pointing towards the opposite reading in every context of the game, know that they are almost certainly not doing so with any good intentions. They are almost certainly using the fictional nature of the Nabateans' race to use as a shield to spout racist rhetoric they know they "aren't allowed" to say about real races. This is far from the first time racists have done this regarding fictional races, and it will not be the last time either. At the absolute best, they are uncaring about how they are rationalizing rhetoric used to dehumanize real life people just to make some point about fictional characters, which is frankly not that much better.

This isn't about discourse, it isn't about whether people think Edelgard or Dimitri or Rhea or Claude or any other character did this or that, it isn't about war criminals, it isn't about theories or meta or what have you. This is about the real world rhetoric people like this slip into the fandom sphere in order to normalize it. This is about how these people set themselves up as pillars of their communities so that they can normalize this rhetoric without anyone able to stop them from doing so or stand up against them. This is about how these people silence the few who do speak against them if they're able, and set up anyone who speaks against them that they can't directly silence as "attackers," "spies," these dangerous interlopers who are trying to shut down a "safe space" for "no reason." This is about how they've been doing this for years now.

I've personally given the benefit of the doubt to others who've genuinely ignorantly done things like this before, but this is too consistent, insistent, and long-standing for it to be anything else but racism from those who peddle this rhetoric, whether due to being racist themselves or through their indifference to the topic of racism. Regardless of the whys of the matter, it had led to the 3H fandom to housing cesspits of unopposed racism that breed hostility and harassment to others; at the absolute least, the harm and danger of this mindset and everything it leads to and has already led to should be made clear

[dawnfelagund]

Back in 2019, I wrote a blog post called The Inequality Prototype. As part of it, I counted a bunch of stuff related to the Valar and looked at how those metrics differed based on gender. At the time, I thought it would be interesting to extend this work over the entire Silmarillion, namely looking at who speaks in the text and who doesn't. For Tolkien Meta Week, I began this work and am collecting my analyses related to it here. It is very much still a work in progress and will likely take me years to complete, but I'm going to post interesting data as I discover it.

This project, like all of my data projects, is available to use under a CC license for others who want to play with the data: View the data | Copy the data | Methodology, progress, etc.

---

Dialogue does not occur evenly across The Silmarillion. While a little over 5% of the words in The Silmarillion as a whole are used in dialogue, this is very unevenly distributed across the chapters, with some chapters about half dialogue and six chapters containing no dialogue at all.

There is a lot more work to be done to tease out trends and patterns that might have some meaning, but just glancing at the graph above, some of those patterns do begin to emerge. First, dialogue increases as The Silmarillion progresses. In the second half of the book (calculated by chapter, not page or word count), only two chapters have no dialogue and only four chapters (inclusive of those two without dialogue) fall below the median of 5.3% dialogue. Put another way:

In the first half of chapters, 71% of chapters are below the median.

In the second half of chapters, 29% of chapters are below the median.

Why is this? My tentative theory is that we see the book moving from the realm of the mythic—from events that are passed down through the oral tradition and ancient written traditions—and into the historical, where the narrator has a greater array of sources, including eyewitness testimony, and begins to write with greater immediacy rather than the arm's-length style of myth and ancient history.

What I am curious about: As I dig deeper into these data, will I see this theory bear out in which episodes or characters/groups are granted actual dialogue? In other words, will characters and peoples lost to the mists of time speak less, as I would expect? Or will the type of dialogue (e.g., a formal speech that may have been preserved vs. an extempore conversation that would not) vary based on narrative distance? I have documented in the past that the narrator of The Silmarillion uses the "it is said/told/sung" construction more with characters who are less accessible, so there is evidence that Tolkien manipulated writing style based on what his narrators' access to various sources. Does he use dialogue similarly to communicate that "mythic distance"?

There are also chapters that are more expository in purpose (Valaquenta, "Of Beleriand and Its Realms") that do not contain dialogue. Without digging deeper into the chapters themselves, most of those without dialogue that aren't similarly expository are chapters where the material would be less accessible to Pengolodh as a narrator. Whether this bears added scrutiny remains to be seen!

Finally, in discussing these data on the SWG's Discord, polutropos noticed something interesting, which is that the chapter with the most dialogue—"Of Aulë and Yavanna," where almost 57% of the words of the chapter are given over to dialogue—was not in fact written by Tolkien. As document by Douglas Charles Kane in his book Arda Reconstructed, "This chapter is completely manufactured by Christopher, though using his father's own writings" (page 54). Where Kane usually includes a chart pointing to the source for each bit of The Silmarillion, his chapter on "Of Aulë and Yavanna" contains no such chart because, while he is able to document where ideas came from, Christopher actually wrote the chapter.

Interestingly, "Of the Noldor in Beleriand" is the chapter with the second most dialogue and, according to Kane, "The changes made in this chapter are among the smallest anywhere in the published text" (page 154). So Tolkien does sometimes write dialogue-heavy chapters—though without data to back me up (yet! it's coming!), most of that dialogue appears to come in the form of lengthier speeches, not necessarily the debate/conversation format of Of Aulë and Yavanna."

The biggest impact of the dialogue-heavy "Of Aulë and Yavanna," I suspect, will emerge as I dig more into the data on gender and who speak in The Silmarillion. Yavanna is one of the women who speaks the most in The Silmarillion, but almost all of her dialogue occurs in this chapter. If this chapter is constructed by Christopher, how does that impact the amount of speech women are permitted by Tolkien? Polutropos' observation spurred me to plan to document the source of the various dialogue sections: Are they original to Tolkien's writings or added? Kane, interestingly, is critical of Christopher Tolkien in Arda Reconstructed for what he perceives as Christopher removing women characters from the text. In this instance, we see a significant example of the opposite: a woman's role is not only expanded, but she is given an opportunity to speak.

[weirdsociology]

I am genuinely not trying to sound like a dick here and I'm not mad I promise

but uh Dorothy Dunnett is not a romance writer although i certainly see why you would think she is based on the way we talk about her 😂😂

but more importantly! casual use of Harlequin as a thing not to be like is exactly the kind of bias I'm talking about! which, understandable, bc everybody does it, but also just, kind of wrong!

all that variety i pointed out before? that's the stuff harlequin (and imprints like it) publishes. there are many many fair critiques of their business model. the fact that romance is the single largest category of books sold, for instance, means that publishers like harlequin put time pressure on authors that is in my opinion a labor rights issue. and they prioritize white straight romance over diversity as most large publishers do. also they focus on category romances which are a specific thing with their own genre rules. but those are not "harlequin is trash" critiques, they're "harlequin as a capitalist endeavor" critiques.

the reasons people think of harlequin and romance novels more generally as a punching bag for poor taste are many, but there's a couple things that stand out:

- romance's primary writers and consumers have always been women, particularly teenaged girls and middle aged women, and since the inception of the modern novel there have been concerns about the deleterious moral and intellectual effects of "frivolous" (e.g. entertaining and interesting to women) fiction

- as the most popular genre of book produced by a large margin, there are unique market forces pushing romance towards publishing new work as fast as possible, which can lead to lower-quality or less polished product. also there's just more of it, which means more bad books and more good books.

- romance is the genre that probably responds the most to cultural norms, partially bc of the pace of publishing and partially bc of its character-driven focus. it's in constant dialogue with how we think about gender and sex and class in particular, and can both reinforce and deconstruct social dynamics in the kinds of stories it chooses to tell. but unlike say, scifi, which gets the treatment where we look back on 1970s scifi and want to know why it is the way it is, warts and all, we just dismiss romance as bodice-ripping and don't ask ourselves why it was written that way and what readers were getting out of it. (for instance, i could go on ALLLLL day about why it was so common for male main characters to sexually assault female main characters in 1950s romance and how that intersects with the kinds of social scripting and power dynamics women were dealing with in their own relationships with men, but i won't.)

- our culture thinks anything with a happy ending has lesser value for some reason

anyway the history and sociology of romance as a genre is fascinating and there are multiple books written about it. if romance is a thing you want to explore more, i highly recommend the lovely podcast fated mates which does not shy away from talking about the more batshit stuff (sentient object romance!) but also takes seriously romance's importance as a genre.

i will now dismount this hill i promise

Saw these tags, directed at me, on my post about how the romance genre is almost always a bunch of drama and with no actual relationships until “the final moments” or sometimes never at all:

The ace/aro hate on this website is still thriving, y’all.

Anyway, time to go show this to my boyfriend of many years to let him know that Generic Tumblr User #8762901 says we’re not in a relationship anymore because aro people aren’t allowed to date…😔

[1moreff-creator]

With the release of a thrilling and VERY shocking Chapter 1 for Project: Eden's Garden, I'd like to resubmit my "What would make them laugh?" inquiry, but for the P:EG cast instead.

Yeah, I feel like we kinda need that one after everything that happened over there :'D. I've been wanting to write for this fangan anyways, so this is as good a place to start as any! Let's go!

Spoilers for Eden's Garden CH1

(Also, is the "shocking" description a pun on the murder method? Very funny if so xD)

Cassidy: We know she enjoys extremely horrible puns and referential humor, and the strength of her laughter correlates to how much the people around her either groan or enjoy the jokes alongside her.

Damon: He'd never admit it, but he enjoys silly jokes about niche topics he's researched for debates, provided he remembers enough about them. He particularly enjoys deadpan and sarcasm, and teasing other people.

Desmond: With how chill he is, he enjoys sweet and wholesome jokes the most. He can chuckle at anything if he's in a large enough group where everyone is comfortable, though.

Diana: She enjoys watching her friends engage in goofy antics and have silly discussions. Anything that makes them laugh, will make her smile, at least, and she'll usually laugh along too.

Eloise: Very odd and awkward sense of humor that not everyone gets. However, if someone matches her energy, she can very easily become a giggling mess. Very into inside jokes.

Eva: She'd rather not admit it, but really nerdy jokes and overly convoluted wordplay amuse her more than anything else. She also enjoys teasing the very few people she can call friends, and laughs when they get flustered.

Grace: Making fun of people and sexual innuendo are the easiest way to get her to laugh. She really enjoys slapstick and silly misfortunes, and flustering people like Wolfgang with her innuendo.

Ingrid: Laughs whenever she finds something cute, and generally, she finds other people's laughter cute. In other words, she laughs when others laugh, so she tries to make that happen.

Jean: Will readily and heartily laugh whenever he's having fun with friends, no matter what that fun looks like. Particularly enjoys anything that reminds him of the sea, like puns about the ocean and the like.

Jett: Similarly to Jean, if he likes the people he's around, a quick laugh will always precede all his sentences. Other than that, high intensity bits where there's one joke after another in quick succession are the best ways to hear his laughter.

Kai: Internet memes, "brainrot" humor, references to popular media... Just the most "chronically online" sense of humor you can possibly imagine. Also likes teasing people occasionally.

Mark: He's the hardest to get to laugh in the entire cast, but the best way to do it would be catching him off guard with a really ironic or unexpected joke. Self-deprecating and generally depressing humor go over particularly well.

Toshiko: She really likes weirding people out with her odd stories and grandiloquence, because it makes her feel smarter than them. But when she's not teasing others, she can also be seen giggling at absurdist jokes she's embarrassed to admit she likes (finds them childish).

Ulysses: He enjoys smart history references, so his sense of humor can certainly be described as "nerdy as hell." Very big fan of deadpan humor, too.

Wenona: Also a big fan of deadpan, she and Ulysses have fun together. She also likes making fun of people, and finds it particularly funny when they fight back on whatever point she makes.

Wolfgang: Likes playing along with other people's antics, like Grace's. In other words, he laughs when someone is being super silly around him and he can "yes and" his way into a funny bit.

Tozu: Human suffering and overly dramatic puns.

Mara: Clinically unable to laugh, or so she says. Secretly loves cute animal videos.

Cara: I guess it depends on what theories you believe about her. However, I don't know the full range of theories around her, so I'll leave it at that :p

Hope that was good enough! Thanks for the ask, it's always fun to think about this! :D

[luimagines]

*walks on in tiredly, waves, leaves a basket of baked goodies, refuses to elaborate as i promptly leave to pass out for sixteen hours* Well hello there, it’s been a while since I left an ask, life’s gotten busy lol.

Anyway! Once again thank you for all of your work in the fandom and for writing so much for the boys, it’s always a delight to curl up after a hard day with a warm drink and just read everything, it never fails to put a smile on my face and make my day a little brighter, so once again, thank you ^^.

(Also I know this is properly incredibly late but happy anniversary to the blog! I haven’t been able to sit down and just write much of anything for a while else I’d have probably said this sooner, sorry about that.)

Also, uh, beware a long ask ahead? This idea has been consuming me alongside Assassin Reader with Warriors and Lustrous Reader and it’s kind of been intruding in the space the fairy tale au should be at while I’m writing it + Linktober, hope you don’t mind me just sharing it here so it hopefully leaves my system lol.

So I don’t really expect many people in the LU fandom to know about Mili (who is a japanese indie band, really good songs), but I’ve been listening to Summoning 101 and then suddenly blacked out and woke up with the idea of Twilight with an au with Summoner Reader (or any of the boys really, I feel like it would work well for any of them, but especially so for Twi, Time and First).

-So the gist of it would be that Summoner Reader is probably from a world where both magic and modern technology exist (albeit with some challenges and friction between magic users and scientists), probably a little more advanced than Wild’s world. And that they themselves had a Link and a Zelda, a Link on his own journey and a Zelda who was incapacitated but probably trying to get back to them, Summoner Reader gets roped into the adventure because they were close to Link and was really knowledgeable of magic, making several attempts to mix it with science which got them mostly ostricized from society, and they know a lot of Hyrule’s history so he asked for their help in locating Zelda, Summoner Reader agreeing because it would allow them to keep an eye on Link and also gather ingredients to hopefully make a breakthrough that would guarantee many of Hyrule’s older enemies like say, Ganon or Vaati or the like would stay permanently down, even if it means shunting them off somewhere else before they could be sealed to try and break the cycle of reincarnation (I mean if the enemy can’t be killed but can be sealed, then surely there’s some way of sending them back to the netherworld where they came from and make sure they stayed there). Surely nothing could possibly go wrong in the middle of this adventure-

-So. 

Things go wrong in the middle of the adventure.

Link dies sort of things go wrong. 

(Either in battle trying to protect Summoner Reader or trying to get Zelda back, or because at some point Summoner Reader overextended themselves healing him and he was just like, ‘Yeah no I’m not dragging them down with me after this one, I can accept the cost of my wellbeing to save my homeland, I do not accept Summoner’s life being added to the cost.’ And ended up going off on his own, Summoner Reader catching up and, despite their best efforts, being unable to heal him, to the amusement of a certain Darknut shaped shadow.)

So Summoner Reader very clearly panics because none of the stories says there can’t be a hero, and there was no one who is capable enough to take up the mantle (I mean they’re a magician and they know for a fact they’re not hero material, and as far as they know there has only ever been one hero per generation/crisis, even if one crisis is mostly only put on hold until another one can come around and finish it), so they think and think and think, until finally they look at the Master Sword, dormant and silent in it’s scabbard that they had to pry off their Link’s long stiff hands hands, and have an idea.

It’s an insane, foolhardy, and incredibly selfish idea. 

But it can work. It can finish what their Link started, it can save their Zelda.

(It can help ease some of the guilt they feel at failing them both.)

So, they get to work, get some decomposing Wolfos fangs, a lot more powdered moonlight than is probably advised, the Master Sword (it could find things once upon a time couldn’t it? So what if it burns their hands, they will make this work, it will work with the last ingredient they’ll use, it will be worth it-), some of their own blood for the circle-

And half a Hylian.

Desperation drives one to do awful things. If they had enough time maybe they could perfect the spell, if they had enough time maybe Link would have still been there to talk them out of it, for finding a better way-

But their Link isn’t there anymore, is he? And they never had enough time.

(All the stories say is that there has to be a hero, never which one.)

(Summoner Reader was trying to pull literally anyone over that fit the bill,  but I like to think that they were specifically aiming for Fierce Deity while using the remaining power of the Master Sword  and well, since he’s sealed in a mask it kind of just targeted the next closest thing he’s related to, maybe he felt a tug in the mask and kept Time up about it and the poor guy is just very over it  lol)

-So now this can be pre-LU or during LU, but the gist of it, is that because Summoner Reader used decomposing Wolfos fangs, the one they end up pulling through the ritual is Twilight (who maybe was on a journey of his own looking for another way into the Twilight Realm like in the TP manga, maybe because Dusk cryptically informed him there were magical disturbances going on where the mirror once was during one of their weekly wine times or something and he immediately took up the quest).

Needless to say none of them trust one another and there’s a lot of complicated feelings going on there (with Twilight still holding some hope that maybe it was the Twili and promptly being smacked over the head with a brick that it wasn’t and Summoner Reader feeling bad they pulled him into all this and over the demise (hah) of their Link and promptly deciding they’re going to A: Not get attached and B: Not let it happen again so help them goddesses).

The plan is that things will be solved and then they’ll go their separate ways, surely it’s simple enough of a goal to achieve.

Right?

-Things do not, in fact, go according to plan, and these two end up catching feelings along the journey, but end up not saying anything to each other because they’re both terrified of trying to say anything and then immediately losing one another at the end of the journey. Except the choice ends up being robbed of them anyway because an enemy (Dark Link as a monster and already up to his shenanigans being the logical option, the funnier option {for me} being a version of Zant from Summoner Reader’s verse that Twi has already decided It’s On Sight on Principle) catching onto the fact that Twilight should not be there and targeting Summoner Reader and, since they used themselves as a tether to bring and keep Twilight there, immediately ends up opening a road to send him back where he should be. Summoner Reader trying their darnest to pull him back and keep him there and Twilight trying to hold onto them-

But they’re attacked a second time, it causes their hold to slip.

The last thing Twilight sees before he falls through is Summoner Reader crumble to the floor like a puppet with it’s strings cut, and next thing they both know-

He’s gone.

(As you may guess, neither side takes this turn of events well.)

-So! If this is pre-LU, Twilight is eventually called by Dusk again and meets the Chain and, remembering what Summoner Reader did, basically went “... Mysteriously opening portals you say?” and doesn’t ask further questions. If anyone notices he’s a little more aggressive to the Shadow than any of them, or that he always look a little disappointed after looking at the portals, well, they won’t ask the same way they don’t ask about Wolfie. Everyone of them has their secrets they’re not ready to share yet, it will come up in time when he’s ready. 

-Meanwhile Summoner Reader, who’s barely managed to escape alive, hastily gotten themselves healed, has way too much coffee and energy potions in their system and with zero sleep, just managed to break out Zelda on their own after a series of Shenanigans, hastily recreating the ritual on the ground while the Princess is trying her best to hold off Ganondorf on their own so they can finish it even as the Master Sword is quite literally trying to burn their hands off and sacrificing all of their years of research to make this work darn it: Surely it will work this time right? If it worked once then it can work again right? *trying to convince themselves and has been actively overextending themselves even more than they already are*

-Next thing they know the Chain is yanked through another portal, much more violently than the last few times, in the middle of a battle, is that Ganondorf?! Why is the Princess fighting alone? Wait why is Twilight rushing over to that fallen person- is that the Master Sword?!

After they’re done with the urgent matters they are definitely cornering the Rancher for answers.

(For context, Summoner Reader didn’t give up on trying to bring Twilight back, because again, they didn’t finish their quest, and he didn’t want to go, that’s reason enough to bring him back. But due to the Chain being all in one place it was harder to find him among them, so they got… creative, and paid a more extreme price for it in spite of Zelda trying to dissuade them because they were sacrificing all they had. It’s a grand ol’ time.)

Huh, in hindsight this could also connect nicely to a Ga1ahad and Scientific Witchery au. 

Anyway that’s all I’ll  elaborate on for now, because this is long enough as is and I’m tired, sorry for the sudden writing dump lol.

In any case, thank you so much for all of your work in the fandom, remember to take care and thank you so much for inspiring me to write more! I hope you’re having a good day/afternoon/night.

-From A Very Tired WintertimeStoryteller 🐚.

This took a while to get to but woah it was worth the wait.

Frist of all. How dare you? DX

Why must you hurt my boy, Twilight, like this again???

Also, Reader is like.... totally dead. ^.^*

They were being held together with bubble gum, duck tape, and sheer power of will. That last summons would have been enough to put them in a coma. Summoning that many people while being that weak would have definitely caused some organs to shut down. If not just have them drop dead entirely.

I wanna see Twilight see their body, attempt to get to them only to be blocked, and then absolutely lose his mind.

Forget turning into Wolfie. Twilight goes straight feral. Full barbarian- "I would like to Rage," sort of thing.

[bwat5-blog]

Who Made Jinx

**Spoilers For All Of Arcane**

"Vi choosing Caitlyn over Jinx when she is the reason Jinx is who she is to begin with is disgusting"

"Vi made Jinx"

"Vi looks like that watching Jinx and Isha because she realizes what Jinx could have been if she'd been a better sister to her"

"Vi doesn't deserve anyone to dry her tears, she caused Jinx's"

I have written extensively about both Jinx, and Vi. And have discussed in detail their relationship as well as Silco's transforming of Powder into Jinx after Vi is taken. I continue to see these absolutely bizarre takes regarding the two sisters, and so have returned to you now, to once again address the question, who made Jinx?

_________________________________________________________

Basic Timeline Of Periods In their Lives:

Bridge Of Progress Massacre- Powder age 5, Vi age 9

Six Years With Vander- Powder age 5-11, Vi age 9-15

Period of Vander's Death (Season 1 Act 1)- Powder age 11, Vi age 15

Seven Years Apart- Powder/Jinx age 11-18, Vi age 15-22

Season One Act 2 & 3- Jinx age 18, Vi age 22

Bridge Of Progress Massacre-

Vi- 9 years old

Powder- 5 years old

Summary: We open the show with the sisters, only little girls at this time walking hand in hand on the bridge while Enforcers slaughter their people around them. Vi stands tall holding Powder's hand, and even shields Powder when Vander initially approaches. When Vi falls to her knees seeing their parents dead, Powder shields her with her body.

Fan Observation Regarding Impact On Powder: This is the first time we see the "glitching" we will come to associate with Jinx instability. We see it first in the face of the Enforcer stalking through the smoke, and then just in the environment as we hear her voice until eventually we settle on the sisters. We are seeing the beginning of that trauma starting to manifest. This deeply traumatizing incident is only the beginning for both of them.

Vi: We see a caring, protective and loving older sister trying her best to shield Powder

Six Years With Vander:

Vi- 9 years old to 15 years old

Powder- 5 years old to 11 years old

Summary: We of course do not see this period. This is the time where Powder and Vi are being raised by Vander alongside Mylo and Clagger.

Fan Observation Regarding Impact On Powder: As stated, since we do not see this time period, it is hard to say. It seems that life in the lanes is dangerous and Enforcers are an ever present threat as well. There are a few way by which we can make an assessment of what this time in their life was like:

"Wanna see how that ends?"- Vi is 15 and stares down someone who just attacked her, who is now carrying a knife and says this. Part of it of course is just Vi. But this clearly an environment filled with the sort of danger that makes a fifteen year old girl so tough.

Vi's stories to Powder at the end of episode one suggest history of running from and fighting Enforcers even in the undercity.

Vi: When we pick back up with them, they are extremely close. Indicating they have a very loving relationship.

Period Of Vander's Death:

Vi- 15 years old

Powder- 11 years old

Summary: This is the main story of season one act 1 for these sisters. They have grown extremely close. We se them conduct their heist on Jayce's lab, followed by the fallout leading to the eventual deaths of Vander, Mylo and Claggor, as well as Vi and Powder being seperated.

Fan Observation Regarding Impact On Powder: Powder displays immense closeness with Vi throughout this time, but is also the subject of constant teasing from Mylo, who calls her a Jinx, and routinely questions her value as part of the team and suggests she be left behind.

When Vi has her stay behind- Powder has what I will call a panic attack due to being left behind where she exhibits behaviors all pointing toward a more deep seated problem:

Hitting her head

Screaming

Throws her broken monkey bomb on the ground preparing to smash it

Discordant off-putting music

Hyperventilating and sobbing

*In the course of another document I found information suggesting Powder is possibly suffering severe Separation Anxiety Disorder born of her immense childhood trauma. I of course am not a mental health professional, so this is all just conjecture on my part. But I encourage you to look if you are interested*

Vi: It is during this period where we get our real look at how these two are as sisters. The amount of proof lies overwhelmingly in that Vi was a supportive and loving sister with whom Powder feels safe. With the one and only exception being the very last interaction between them-

Defends and encourages Powder when she is afraid during the heist.

Catches Powder when she doesn't quite make jump to Jayce's lab.

Immediately after fight with Deckard and his friends, Vi is first to notice Powder is gone

Vi assures Powder that she does not have to be a fighter when they get back to The Last Drop. But, she tells her she knows Powder's bombs will work one day, and that Powder is stronger than she thinks.

When preparing to turn herself in, Vi tells Powder "you know Powder, what makes you different, makes you strong"

Vi tells Powder to stay behind for the rescue. She has just seen Grayson and Benzo killed by the shimmer mutated Deckard. Additionally, she has been recently lectured by Vander regarding her responsibility to the other children. She does tell Powder she is not ready. But she also says "Your all I have left, I can't lose you" and gives her the famous flair.

The Falling Out:

So, when poor Powder comes around the corner eager for the big sister she looks up to to know she helped, and is instead met with horror, it is truly heartbreaking. Vi tells her she told her to stay away, punches her, grabs her face and tells her that mylo was right, she is a Jinx before walking away, after looking in horror at Powder's blood on her hand wraps. Powder screams and sobs, begging her sister to come back. Vi walks down the alley and slides down crying and having a moment. She looks again seeing Powder's blood on her hands, then sees Silco approaching Powder and tries to go to her, but is taken by Marcus. Leaving Powder alone and vulnerable for Silco to take as his own daughter. Believing that her sister truly left her, Powder proclaims Vi is not her sister anymore, and Silco says "we will show them all".

Vi- Fifteen years old: For perspective, using USA rules for average fifteen year olds let's look at a few reminders.

Can't drink

Can't drive

Can't vote

Has not graduated high-school

Can not serve in Military

Brain Development Still in Progress: The prefrontal cortex, responsible for decision-making, impulse control, and emotional regulation, is far from fully developed at 15. This makes emotional outbursts and impulsive actions more likely.Source: Steinberg, L. (2005). "Cognitive and affective development in adolescence." Trends in Cognitive Sciences.

Additionally when considering Vi's state of mind during this incident, we need remember the following:

She herself has been through every bit of trauma we have listed about Powder

Just watched Vander, Mylo and Clagger die violently.

Just successfully held off 11 armed adult thugs of Silco's protecting her family

Been injured after being grabbed the throat by Deckard and thrown. As well as being pinned under the door after the explosion.

Seemed like they were within seconds of freedom before the explosion that would not have happened if Powder had listened (not blaming the tiny child just giving the whole picture as to where Vi's mind is)

Conclusion:

So, we have two sisters, both of whom begin the story in a horrific and traumatic incident of loss and grief.

Vi is quite literally only shown as a positive and encouraging force in Powder's life right up until that last moment. And her behavior during that incident was that of a terrified, wounded, grief-stricken child, who even though she was kidnapped and wrongfully imprisoned still goes on to shoulder the guilt for leaving anyway.

Powder, was little girl who had been through terrible loss already for one so young, and was now violently confronted with the reality of having killed her family. Even though it was the furthest thing from her intentions. A young lifetime full of being teased and harassed by Mylo, and called a jinx, and now the "evidence" of her not being good enough lay in her adoptive father's corpse on the cold street. She had already exhibited signs of the trauma taking a toll on her mind, and now is living a truly hellish experience.

So the question becomes, to whom do we assign the blame for that little girl's mind being ripped apart, until only Jinx remained? The older sister who with the exception of one impossibly overwhelming moment spent a life protecting and loving Powder?

Or perhaps, perhaps it was the man who took her entire family away from her. The violent,murdering drug lord who claimed to stand for Zaun.

Deaths of Vander, Mylo, and Clagger all because of his actions

Promised her mother to make a safer Zaun for her children, tried to kill them both

Weaponizes her grief, guilt, fear and rage

Makes her part of his shimmer operations after teaching her to be a killer

When she questions him he asks "who raised you? who gave you a home? like he wasn't the reason she needed one to begin with.

When he finds out Vi is back he tries to have her killed to stop she and jinx from reuniting.

He and Sevika use Caitlyn's presence to turn Jinx against Vi

Last action as a living man is to try and kill his "daughters" last living relative, even though Vi was making no move to kill him and just wanted her sister.

Perhaps seven years as the daughter of that man without any form of healing for what she had been through broke her. People love to reference the last episode of season one as proof for the accusation that Vi made Jinx for two reasons.

Jinx speech

"What Could Have Been"

Regarding her speech, all you have to do is listen. "shadows in the street... prickles on the back of my neck.. your voice, picking me up when all the colors were black, your the reason I'm still alive". Note, she is not blaming or accusing Vi of something. Before telling Vi how she "made her" she is refuting Silco's belief that he did and mentions his speeches about strength and "your enemies fearing you". She is telling her older sister that she quite literally kept her alive. And we see in the moment earlier when Jinx is terrified and in agony, whose face does she hallucinate during Singed's treatment? Vi's. That is who brings her comfort, before the tainted specter of Caitlyn, born of Silco and Sevika's machinations poisons her mind yet again.

Regarding the song, yes it sounds like a direct call against whoever made her a "monster". But my friends, where does that rocket as the season closes and the last lyric fades.... it isn't at Vi. But at the symbol of oppression over the Undercity itself. Those who allowed chaos and bloodshed to flourish and men like Silco to rise and seize power. The Council of Piltover.

So with all of that to consider, I will ask the same thing I have asked many times. In what universe, will it ever make sense to blame the sobbing fifteen year old girl, kneeling over her father's broken body?

Thank you for reading, see yall next time!

[derschwarzeengel]

I'm assuming that since you, seaweed-water, replied to a post that's tagged #anti sterek in a pro Sterek manner, you don't mind if other people chime in, right? 'Kay. Cool. Otherwise, if you're tired of seeing anti Sterek posts on your dashboard, blacklist the tag in question using XKit and stop deliberately going into the tag to be pro-Sterek on posts correctly tagged #anti Sterek. That's just rude. The block button is also right there to use free of charge.

there was a time, when the show was still airing, that *everyone* was on board for sterek, even the actors who played them. this post might enlighten you, if you're interested in reading it. if you want the tldr; jeff was setting them up in s3 to be end game by s5, but that fell out of favor when jeff realized the show would do just fine without the sterek fans (before season 4, the venn diagram of teen wolf fans and sterek shippers was basically one circle)

I watched Teen Wolf from the very beginning when the pilot episode aired back in 2011 and engaged in the fandom right when the first season was airing.

All of this is blatantly incorrect and rewriting Teen Wolf fandom history. The fandom didn't really start picking up steam until the hiatus between season 1 and season 2. Sterek didn't explode into popularity as a fanon ship until the second season. During season 1, the majority of Derek-centric ships were Scott/Derek, Jackson/Derek, and Derek/Original Female Character. The vast majority of Stiles-centric ships were Scott/Stiles, Stiles/Danny, Stiles/Lydia, and Stiles/Original Female Character. This is going off of FanFiction.Net data + my own recollections from being in the fandom at the time.

Was there Stiles/Derek fic written shortly after the pilot? Yeah, sure, obviously. But it didn't gain juggernaut popularity as a ship until season 2, when the fandom gained a lot of new members through more people watching the show. (That being said, the first Stiles/Derek LiveJournal community was created two-and-a-half months after the show began airing.)

Second: Jeff Davis was absolutely not setting Sterek up to be endgame in any way whatsoever if you look at the actual show and not the out-of-universe polling and official fanwork contests (which was literally just MTV/the cast engaging with/acknowledging the fandom, not teasing whether specific ships were going to be canon). Throughout season 1, Stiles was obsessed with Lydia and getting her to see him as a potential boyfriend since he'd been crushing on her for years; Derek was completely fixated on Scott and only barely tolerated Stiles because a) Stiles is Scott's best friend; and b) Stiles kept inserting himself into werewolf business through his friendship with Scott. (Stiles also initially treated Scott being bitten as though this was some sort of cool video game he could live vicariously through his friend, even though it was inadvertently Stiles's fault that Scott was bitten by Peter in the first place, and he canonically dehumanized Scott during the latter's second full moon solely because Lydia [the girl Stiles had a major crush on but didn't give him the time of day] kissed Scott earlier that day.)

In season 2, Derek and Stiles's interactions are still antagonistic more often than not, with Stiles mistrusting Derek and Derek, again, focused more on getting Scott into his pack now that he's an Alpha while they (Scott & Stiles + Derek's pack) are forced to work together to solve the Kanima mystery.

dylan and tyler have some of the best scenes in the show. the pool scene? the potential cutting of the arm scene? point is, if you look for it, it's there. if you don't, it's not. that's just how ships work.

There is nothing romantic about the scene between them in the pool when Derek is paralyzed by Kanima venom & Stiles has to keep treading water a) to keep them both from drowning until the paralysis wears off; and b) to exploit the Kanima's fear of water through its master. (Both of them complain about it the whole time and hate that they're even in this position to begin with.)

There is also nothing romantic and zero ship tease in the "nearly cutting off the arm" scene from Magic Bullet. Take off the shipping goggles. Stiles was with Derek in the first place because Scott was busy trying to steal a wolfsbane bullet from the Argents without getting caught (and kept getting distracted by Allison), and Derek had to threaten Stiles to drive him to the vet clinic. Stiles cutting off Derek's arm was an absolute last resort in case Scott didn't get there in time, Stiles flat-out admits he's squeamish at the sight of blood (anybody would be reluctant to saw off another person's arm without using local anesthetic beforehand), and it's all moot because Scott does show up and saves Stiles from those nightmares. (Stiles even says this in relief over not having to saw off Derek's arm.)

Third: the "Venn diagram of Teen Wolf fans and Sterek shippers being a circle" claim is, frankly, bullshit. Sterek shippers harassed and shut down anybody else in the fandom who dared ship Stiles or Derek with any other character, let alone their canon love interests (which were, hint, not each other). They sent death threats to Tyler Posey, who played titular Teen Wolf Scott McCall, all because he expressed dislike for the ship. Sterek shippers kept harassing the actors and writers and pushing for the ship to be canon, to the point that Tyler Hoechlin in 2014 flat-out refused to sign Sterek fanart at conventions, despite accepting the Sterek fanart book in 2013.

to answer your question, it's so popular because when this show aired, it was during a time when gay characters did not have a lot of screen time. bitches were THIRSTY for gay boys on screen, and the smallest spark is enough to set anything off. it stuck because, well... the chemistry is there. the actors have said repeatedly how much they enjoyed doing scenes together. i think that really came across in their performances on screen.

Except Teen Wolf HAD queer characters from the get-go: Danny Mahealani (who is Native Hawaiian, to boot); Ethan (from the Alpha Pack, who is canonically in a relationship with Danny during season 3); Jackson was revealed to be canonically bisexual, having been in a relationship with Lydia during the first two seasons and then later hooking up with Ethan in season 6b. Hell, one of the early Stiles ships was with Danny, and Stiles' other major ship is with Scott — but Sterek shippers flat-out ignored this in favor of their white non-canon slash ship.

(And since Stiles forced Derek to go shirtless in order to distract Danny during one s1 episode while all three of them were in Stiles's room for plot reasons—not for Stiles' own need to see Derek shirtless—I can see Derek as a sexual abuse victim having major issues with that. Hence Derek slamming Stiles's head into the steering wheel for retaliation later that same episode and when Stiles protests, saying Stiles knew what that was for.)

The actors themselves soured on the Sterek ship the longer the show went on (most of the cast flat-out treated it like a joke to begin with and never seriously acted like it was going to be canon), largely due to harassment from fans. Sterek fandom was pissed when Dylan O'Brien refused to return for the 2022 movie and still somehow managed to make a film centered around Scott, Derek, Derek's teenage son Eli, and Allison Argent (who returned from the dead) all about their fanon ship.

yes, derek is creepy... believe it or not, that is a part of it for a lot of sterek shippers. (!!just because we like to see it in fic or on screen, does not mean we condone it in real life!! same goes for age difference) yeah, derek's a fucking creep, he probably got fucked in the head when he was molested and then lost his entire family in a fire by his abuser's hand. i'd be highly suspicious if he wasn't a little weird by the time he and stiles met.

And again, the reason Derek and Stiles met in the first place is because of Scott being bitten and transformed into a werewolf. Derek immediately started stalking Scott, became a mentor to Scott, had no problems with getting up close in Scott's personal space (or Jackson's or Lydia's; this is not something Derek does exclusively with Stiles) multiple times, and eventually Scott and Derek learn how to trust each other and are on good terms from season 3a onward -- Derek is all in on supporting Scott once Scott becomes a True Alpha. That never happens between Stiles and Derek. When Derek shows up again in season 6b, he still treats dealing with Stiles more like an annoyance than anything else and flat-out says he returned to Beacon Hills for Scott McCall.

Get outside of the Sterek bubble when interacting with the Teen Wolf fandom, I beg you. The general fandom does not ship Sterek. From the Sterek fanworks I have seen, everyone is wildly out of character and I hate Sterek fandom's tendency to take Scott's--the Latino protagonist and titular werewolf--canon traits and personality + events that happen to Scott and give them to Stiles -- who is white as mayonnaise and would not at all be out of place as a potential UnSub in Jeff Davis's other show Criminal Minds, given how Stiles's go-to suggestion when investigating anything with Scott is kidnapping and/or murder.

Be so for fucking real, Sterek shippers created the “Scott is a Bad Friend” tag on AO3, which, gee, wonder why they completely flip around Scott and Stiles’s canon personalities and label the sole Mexican-American protagonist in the show “a bad friend” when in canon Scott and Stiles view each other like adopted brothers & Scott is The Most Caring Person in the whole show—whereas Stiles repeatedly mocks Isaac’s abuse, Liam’s IED, and has consistently shown he doesn’t really give a shit about anyone outside of his small circle of his dad, Scott, Scott’s mom, and whoever he’s dating at the time. (More than once he even tells Scott to leave Derek to die.)

Given Sterek fandom’s tendency to give Scott’s Red Riding Hood moment to Stiles, write AUs where Stiles was bitten instead and where Stiles also becomes a True Alpha, Stiles having this “spark” that enables him to do magic (which only comes up once in the whole show—and during a later scene Derek ordered Stiles to break the circle Stiles worked so hard on because Scott was in danger and dying and Derek just knew it and had to get to him right then), and how many Sterek shippers openly hate Scott, just admit that the majority of Sterek fandom wishes that Stiles was the protagonist instead of Scott.

And considering how Sterek shippers crosstag to hell and back and have infected other fandoms with their nonsense to the point of pissing off those fandoms, who do not want that ship in their tag—for over a decade now—I’m convinced that a) Sterek is the Destiel of the Teen Wolf fandom (this is not a compliment); and b) there are several people engaging in Sterek fandom who never actually watched the show.

Ship what you want, but don't act like the Sterek fandom doesn't have a very real history of racism, death threats, and harassment when dealing with the larger fandom/non-Sterek shippers and people who were involved with the show itself that got them to where they are now. The (very) vocal minority does not speak for the overall fandom.

Here's some random Teen Wolf on my blog:

I HATE Sterek the ship. I despise it so much I filtered the tags. I don't think I have ever disliked a ship more. And I probably wouldn't hate it as much if It wasn't so damn popular.

I got into Teen Wolf around early 2023 so I was late to the party. I watched much of season one without really knowing how people ship Derek and Stiles so much. And guess what, I loved their scenes. They reminded me of almost like a big grumpy brother and the young very annoying brother. Or cousins like Stiles lied about. Then I learned about the AMOUNT of shipping there was (like 60,000 fics on AO3) and every scene after that was tainted for me. I'd see something funny with those two and I'd like it but I couldn't help but think, man, most of this fandom is probably using this scene to prove that a 23 year old man and a 16 YEAR OLD are in love.

How the holy f*ck did the ship between the 23 year old and the 16 year old even become so popular??? Especially seeing how they barely interact after season 3. Even in season 3 it's minimal.

Also, there is like no evidence that they like each other but people act like there is.... Like come on.

I laughed my head off after seeing this Derek x Stiles tiktok cause it was during the Void scene in Derek's house and it was like 'Derek is always protecting him'. And all Derek was doing was standing there staring. He didn't even seem that worried.

What I kinda got excited for was in season 4 and Derek got miniature, I was like okay I see, a sixteen year old Derek and a 17 year old Stiles, I can get behind this. Then Derek became old again in one episode so that was disappointing.

They don't have chemistry, Stiles is 16 when they meet, and they barely talk after season 3 or even 2. I can only think that the reason people ship them is because they are both attractive or something. I cannot see how Derek is attractive and Stiles is more cute to me but you know you do you I guess.

It's just, why is it everywhere? How is it so popular?

All the fanfictions have to wildly make them out of character to even work! Derek is also creepy, he just shows up at high schools and breaks into Scott's house. He should not be near Stiles for any romantic reasons.

[tuttle-did-it]

As someone who has worked on war and history in an academic setting, the rise of Trump all felt incredibly familiar to everything I've read and seen.

When Trump started shouting into the void, I said that he reminded me of Vollmer, the character Dennis Hopper played in The Twilight Zone episode, 'He's Alive.'

(First thing's first, please try to go watch this episode and then read the rest of this, because the episode was incredibly well done.)

Everyone told me that Trump was just a harmless clown-- that no one would really vote for him. That I was inventing absurdities just because I don't like Republicans and Trump. He's just a joke. He's a sexist, homophobic, racist, transphobic rapist. And no one would vote for him. We're too civilised for this, now. We've evolved as a species, and that will never happen again.

Everyone got a pretty clear reality when people did, enthusiastically, salivate over the idea of having a sexist, homophobic, racist, transphobic racist in power. And over the past few years, he's become enveloped in his own conspiracy theories and hatred. And I am still strongly reminded of Vollmer every time I see Trump speak.

For those who are not aware, the episode is about a tiny, useless little white man who craves power and adoration. (spoilers for a 61 year old show below.)

A man in the shadows teaches Vollmer how to capture the attentions and hatred of the white audiences and rise to power. The phantom is eventually revealed to be Adolph Hitler.

S4 E4, Episode aired Jan 24, 1963, Written by Rod Serling, directed by Stuart Rosenberg.

Rod Serling's Opening Monologue:

Key scene where the Phantom (Hitler) teaches Vollmer from the shadows. Tell me that Trump and the other Republicans have not learned these lessons just as well as Vollmer ever did.

Rod Serling's End Monologue:

All of this has happened before. All of this IS happening again. Make no mistake-- Trump is unstable, and doesn't know about half the lies that come out of his mouth every day. But if you think, for a second, that this man has your best interests in mind? You are going to get a very, very harsh dose of reality. But not before millions of people suffer at the hands of this monster, and will for many, many years to come.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

putting my prediction on record now that the coming decade is going to see the rise of viral-marketed fancy at-home water filtration systems, driving and driven by a drastic reduction in the quality of U.S. tap water (given that we are in a 'replacement era' where our current infrastructure is reaching the end of its lifespan--but isn't being replaced). also guessing that by the 2030s access to drinkable tap water will be a mainstream class issue, with low-income & unstably housed people increasingly forced to rely on expensive bottled water when they can't afford the up-front cost of at-home filtration--and with this being portrayed in media as a "moral failing" and short-sighted "choice," rather than a basic failure of our political & economic systems. really hope i'm just being alarmist, but plenty of this already happens in other countries, and the U.S. is in a state of decline, so. here's praying this post ages into irrelevance. timestamped April 2023

[aroaceleovaldez]

What is the PR disaster in question that made Rick announce TSATS? I wasn’t active in the online fandom at that point

Of course! This was awhile ago so it figures people don't remember it/aren't familiar:

Basically a couple years back (2020) the fandom had some posts circulate discussing the ways different characters in the Riordanverse were written poorly or offensively. There was a masterpost that went around tumblr but the two major points people were particularly focusing on were Piper and Samirah (particularly because Piper had featured prominently again in Trials of Apollo recently and the third MCGA book had further emphasized and discussed Samirah being Muslim, since it was supposed to take place during Ramadan). Basically each had multiple posts breaking down the ways they were depicted incorrectly or offensively. The entire fandom for a little bit was VERY intensely discussing this (and it's around this time the "RR crit" tag got very popularized on tumblr - it did exist before, but suddenly was being used VERY frequently - cause it was that wide-spread - though the discussion took over basically every side of Riordaverse social media on different platforms). People really wanted Rick to respond to these criticisms, so he did!

He made two blog posts, one about Piper and one about Samirah. He has since deleted both so the links are to archived versions. The short version: he essentially tried to justify his poor research and double-down that he hadn't written them offensively, actually, people were just being mean to him. The fandom, of course, reacted poorly to this.

[Further elaborated events under the cut since this got a bit lengthy]

(Fun fact, this all happened within a month or so of the time i posted an open letter on aphobic tropes in the Riordanverse that Rick replied to, and then he immediately followed with announcing that Reyna was intended to be ace-coded [which cause a LOT of fandom debate] before Rick dipped for a couple of weeks, and then came back to post the blog posts in response to Piper and Sam stuff. So I like to jokingly refer to this as "The time I imploded the fandom/drove Rick off of twitter." Twas I that set the house ablaze.)

Rick fully left social media after this and the LT Musical social media manager became Rick's social media manager for the time being.

So this all happened June/July of 2020. Tower of Nero would end up being published in October of 2020 and a few months after that Rick would state that he was done with the series and wouldn't be writing any more series installments involving Percy, and also that he wouldn't be writing a Nico quest following Tower of Nero as it "wasn't his place to" and encouraged the community to write their own versions of Nico's story.

The community continued to circulate the tumblr posts and discuss the topics of Rick's offensive character depictions, and this is also where we see the dramatic shift in how the fandom depicts Piper in fanwork (though in most cases it is admittedly not an improvement 😬) because of all this discussion. This is also around the time when the fandom brought Viria under scrutiny claiming that she was whitewashing Piper as part of the same discussions, through the justification that she was drawing Annabeth as having tan skin (which she does canonically), and if Annabeth has tanner skin then Piper then that's whitewashing Piper? Except they were using completely separate images of not fully rendered Piper art versus Annabeth in dramatic lighting, so it's all very awkward and poor logic, and did actually get kind of racist. A lot of people were calling it "Tannabeth Blackchase" (yeah, i know) or similar and a common sentiment you'd see repeated is "Don't draw Annabeth as having darker skin than Piper, because that's offensive/racist/whitewashing." (Note: it was not phrased "don't draw Piper as having lighter skin than Annabeth" - we also won't get into certain offensive depictions of Native Americans, but I digress). But yeah, the Annabeth stuff in all that did not age well at all.

Anyways, in October of 2021 however Rick would announce that he was co-writing The Sun And The Star - with a lot of heavy emphasis on how Mark Oshiro works as a sensitivity reader, and some false advertising from the official social media that Mark Oshiro was the first time a non-Riordan author would be collaborating on the series (disregarding the ghostwriters completely). One of the big criticisms in the breaking down of issues in Rick's writing was his lack of ever seeking a sensitivity reader, and fans claiming that a sensitivity reader could solve a lot of the problems. This was basically Rick's "look! I totally listened!!!!" (though it did little to actually improve things, based on the book) and in TSATS as well Piper gets a large cameo at the end where the text very directly addresses a lot of points made in criticism of Rick's writing of her.

We also then of course got the CoTG trilogy later, explicitly stated to be for advertising purposes for the show.

So basically, short version: Rick came under scrutiny for a lot of offensive writing within the span of two months, made some bad blog posts doubling down about it, left social media. TOA ends. Rick says he wasn't going to continue the series/write what would become TSATS. Community celebrates the end of of the franchise but also continues to discuss Rick's poor writing and the blog posts at length. Rick suddenly announces TSATS and Mark Oshiro's involvement. Everybody gets distracted from being mad. Show announcement stuff also happens and the discussions peter out.