#people who have only emailed me about an issue and not them. and also the general AccessCos recognize my work specifically too
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When you tell people they should be sending every spare penny to their chosen Gaza fundraiser or they are Bad. But then it all gets a bit too stressful so you have to leave tumblr. :(
#if you know who i'm talking about don't say the username let's be civil#to me this is an example of dishing it out but you can't take it#like oh does it not feel good to feel like shit? you need a break?!#btw i've spoken with the organiser of the fundraiser in question- they live in pennsylvania#according to them they are withdrawing the money a few thousand dollars at a time from the GFM#then transfer the money to the family in gaza out of their account and eat the fees (so kind! there is no proof though)#there's also no way to prove that none of the money raised stays in their account. i have only seen some transfer screenshots#which frankly could be anything. the gfm still says the money is for evacuation but the organiser now says (to me) it is for daily food etc#but the campaign still talks about evacuation. i have asked them to update it to make it clear money is being spent on other things#and to explain if the plan is still to evacuate- that is why these gfms have high goals because of that war profiteering egyptian company#people donate so people can FLEE to SAFETY and if that's no longer the plan you must SAY THAT#they probably will not update the gfm though#it's not like there are 10s of 1000s of dollars involved here or anything /s#i am extremely concerned that at least some of these funds are being skimmed by the bank account owner#i've been watching gfm scamming from waaaay before 7/10 made evacuation from gaza an urgent matter#and large amounts of money is so so soooooo tempting for an everyday person#like easy access to that amount of money that is not rightly yours is dangerous!!#i hope someone is investigating this issue- might email the podcast the opportunist and see if they can have a look
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Dawg I work in automating email-job-type-tasks and my coworkers - fellow elder millennials - were STUNNED at my solution to create a dynamic folder name. Not the method of making it dynamic, the part that stunned them was the "run cmd.exe: '/c mkdir [filepath]'" and at the point where I was going "yeah no its not wizardry its just like... a vestigial recreation of MSDOS..." I had to confront that frankly computer literacy has never been more in the toilet.
Telling young zoomers to "just switch to linux" is nuts some of these ipad kids have never even heard of a cmd.exe or BIOS you're throwing them to the wolves
#most of these guys know at least SQL and a little VBA we are so cooked as a society#call me the bane of corporate IT the way I once emailed a whole department a javascript file with no extension to get around the very#reasonable filter but like P&P required digital fraud to use a particular note format and doing it by hand was a nightmare while that#webserver was down and a bunch of people listened to IT and cleared their cache as the first step lmfao#terrible news about whats in your fucking cache man fucking hell lmfao#the fact that nobody but me even realized what we actually needed was IN that cache makes me sad tbh#because thats not a very complex thing to know really! helpdesk should have tbh#seconding the typing thing tho - I have severe auditory processing issues and I hate writing up a perfect question on teams only to get a#response of “uhhh can you join my zoom” and then I have to explain it all over again and take notes because it helps me repeat back what I#think I heard to them and its like dude all of this would be so much easier if you'd grown up on forums and learned to type/read faster tha#talking too ngl#I also get a lot of comments from folks once they see my desktop about like oh what games do you play my man I have a potato for a graphics#card! I have a gpu at all because of photoshop and blender this thing does not play much beyond AOE2?#but the idea of even having a desktop pc for regular non-gaming computer use is getting weird to even elder millennials#even when I explain I was a professional freelance artist for a while I get a lot of “but ipad?”#my brother in christ have you ever tried to use the ipad photoshop there's a reason even my tablet is a windows surface#you will pry my dubious copies of non-cc photoshop out of my cold dead hands before I touch procreate Im so sorry but I have a keyboard#shortcut for everything memorized since 2002 and that is the way that shit is going to stay for the sake of my sanity#but you explain that and it blows peoples minds because they maxed out their muscle memory for shortcuts at ctrl+(z/x/c/v/a/s)#if that! like that's among people who have been call center/backoffice folks tbh who mostly CAN type 65WPM and are already freaks for it
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When I was in ninth grade I wanted to challenge what I saw as a very stupid dress code policy (not being allowed to wear spikes regardless of the size or sharpness of the spikes). My dad said to me, “What is your objective?”
He said it over and over. I contemplated that. I wanted to change an unfair dress code. What did I stand to gain? What did I stand to lose? If what I really wanted was to change the dress code, what would be my most effective potential approach? (He also gave me Discourses on the Fall of Rome by Titus Livius, Machiavelli’s magnum opus. Of course he’d already given me The Prince, Five Rings, and The Art of War.)
I ultimately printed out that phrase, coated it in Mod Podge, and clipped it to my bathroom mirror so I would look at it and think about it every day.
What is your objective?
Forget about how you feel. Ask yourself, what do you want to see happen? And then ask, how can you make it happen? Who needs to agree with you? Who has the power to implement this change? What are the points where you have leverage over them? If you use that leverage now, will you impair your ability to use it in the future? Getting what you want is about effectiveness. It is not about being an alpha or a sigma or whatever other bullshit the men’s right whiners are on about now. You won’t find any MRA talking points in Musashi, because they are not relevant.
I had no clear leverage on the dress code issue. My parents were not on the PTA; neither were any of my friend’s parents who liked me. The teachers did not care about this. Ultimately I just wore what I wanted, my patent leather collar from Hot Topic with large but flattened spikes, and I had guessed correctly—the teachers also did not care enough to discipline me.
I often see people on tumblr, mostly the very young, flail around in discourse. They don’t have an objective. They don’t know what they want to achieve, and they have never thought about strategizing and interpersonal effectiveness. No one can get everything they want by being an asshole. You must be able to work with other people, and that includes smiling when you hate them.
Read Machiavelli. Start with The Prince, but then move on to Discourses. Read Musashi’s Five Rings. Read The Art of War. They’re classics for a reason. They can’t cover all situations, but they can do more for how you think about strategizing than anything you’re getting in middle school and high school curricula.
Don’t vote third party unless you can tell me not only what your objective is but also why this action stands a meaningful chance of accomplishing it. Otherwise, back up and approach your strategy from a new angle. I don’t care how angry you are with Biden right now. He knows about it, and he is both trying to do something and not doing enough. I care about what will happen to millions of people if we have another Trump presidency. Look up Ross Perot, and learn from our past. Find your objective. If it is to stop the genocide in Palestine now, call your elected representatives now. They don’t care about emails; they care about phone calls, because they live in the past. I know this because I shadowed a lobbyist, because knowing how power works is critical to using it.
How do you think I have gotten two clinics to start including gender care in their planning?
Start small. Chip away. Keep working. Find your leverage; figure out how and when to effectively use it. Choose your battles, so that you can concentrate on the battle at hand instead of wasting your resources in many directions. Learn from the accumulated wisdom of people who spent their lives learning by doing, by making mistakes, by watching the mistakes of their enemies.
Don’t be a dickhead. Be smarter than I was at 14. Ask yourself: what is your objective?
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#it feels like I am the only one holding things together in so many roles that I have#group project in my chem class- I’m the only one who wrote my paragraph to fulfill all the requirements and formatted my citations correctly#AccessCo (co-op level) I’m the only one doing the fucking job! my co is useless and it’s not just me who sees that but the multiple other#people who have only emailed me about an issue and not them. and also the general AccessCos recognize my work specifically too#Lighting designer- my ALD is useless. I have to teach her basic concepts instead of being able to bounce ideas off of her and rely on her to#do something if I’m sick. but I can’t. also she doesn’t go to any of the meetings because she has too many conflicts and signed up for#something that conflicted with LOAD IN which is all hands on deck. and she did that because the schedule for tech week didn’t have dates#it should have but regardless you should know when the fucking show is!! work backwards from there!#Obility- I love my friend and they want to help me but it’s not happening so I’m still making the agendas and sending the emails#and I was hoping to rely on the liasions to at least reserve rooms but that didn’t happen so I did that too#just. every group. yes I take initiative. SO SHOULD YOU!!
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Your Future Spouse's Appearance & Personality based on Astrology
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જ⁀➴ Derivative Astrology Introduction
જ⁀➴ How to know where your Future Spouse was born with Astrology
જ⁀➴ How to know your Future Spouse's career with Astrology
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╰┈➤ Get your own Derivative Astrology Future Spouse Reading for 35€ ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪
݁ᛪ༙⛧ Why the 4H?
♱ The 7H in astrology represents the Future Spouse. Based on this house, we can see our Future Spouse's life based on our Natal Chart. This technique is called Derivative Astrology.
♱ The technique here is to take our 7H as our Future Spouse's 1H. So this house, since the 1H is about how we look like, will represent our FS' appearance. We can also know about who they are in general.
♱ So today we will focus on our personal 7H, in our Natal Chart. Planet from Sun to Pluto mostly. Asteroids will be additional.
݁ᛪ༙⛧ The Technique
♱ In your 7H, you will need to check the sign it is in. You will also check the degree of the house, but also the ruler, and what planets are in the 4H. We are only going to check planets! Sun to Pluto only!
♱ For the Ruler of your 7H, you will need to check where it is in your chart and under what sign.
♱ For the planets inside, it will tell us what your FS looks like. I'll give all the key words down there on the post. For the planets, we will use the ones that are the closest to your Descendant line AND in the 7H! So if you have any planets that exactly conjuncts your Descendant, it's perfect! Otherwise, just take the closest. The closest planets to take will need to be 10° apart maximum from the line of the Descendant!
Quick example: My 7H is in Aries, so I will look at Aries section. In my 7H I have Jupiter and Saturn, so I will also look in those sections. I also have those planets in Taurus, so I will also look at the Taurus section. Then, I check my degree, 19°, so Libra section too. Now, I look at the Ruler of my 7H (Mars), and check in which house it is in.
╰┈➤ Get your own Derivative Astrology Future Spouse Reading for 35€ ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪
݁ᛪ༙⛧ Keywords & Help
♱ Aries/ 1H/ 1°, 13°, 25°/ Mars
FS can have Aries rising, Aries degree on their rising, or Mars in their 1H. They can also have a Mars ruled Rising. Future Spouse can look athletic, in well shaped, they can have muscles. They can look arrogant, or very masculine. They can look hot to you, they can look build or thick, they can have nice, thick eyebrows, they can have sharp eyes, they can have a strong or loud voice, they can also have an interest in their body, or somehow have a prominent body. When they walk in a room, people often can notice their body. People can also thirst over them. Your FS can be impulsive, they can seem aggressive, or too confident, they can see like they have temperament issues. You can also have a feeling that FS is quite direct in their moves or how they act with you. You can feel like FS is very protective and jealous too. FS can be smart and talk a lot too. They can also often cut people when they speak. The dominant type.
♱ Taurus/ 2H/ 2°, 14°, 26°/ Venus
FS can have Taurus rising, Taurus degree on their rising, or Venus in their 1H. They can also have a Venus ruled Rising. Future Spouse can look very good, beautiful, handsome, you can feel like you are blessing with someone just look stunning. Your person can have a lot of charm, they can look so good they can attract a lot of people. They can be extrovert or be a social butterfly. They can be into art, be creative, they can also like music. They can look like they are wealthy, rich, or just luxurious. They can often dress in a way that make them look so good looking. They can look like they are thick, curvy too, it can often give you a Future Spouse with beautiful and feminine traits as well. They can smell incredibly good and have a very good voice too.
♱ Gemini/ 3H/ 3°, 15°, 27°/ Mercury
FS can have Gemini rising, Gemini degree on their rising, or Mercury in their 1H. They can also have a Mercury ruled Rising. FS can look young, they can be younger than you too. FS can be very smart, they can be witty, funny, humorous, they can be very curious in general too. FS can talk a lot, think a lot, they can often want to learn many languages, or they know many languages. FS can enjoy drama too. FS just like informations and tea, they wanna know for sure. FS can have a normal height, they can also have a prominent laugh, a beautiful smile, they can have a "smiley face", they can have shiny eyes too.
♱ Cancer/ 4H/ 4°, 16°, 28°/ Moon
FS can have Cancer rising, Cancer degree on their rising, or Moon in their 1H. They can also have a Moon ruled Rising. FS can be younger than you or look young compared to their age. FS can look sweet, innocent, FS can have prominent eyes, they can look good, they can have a very soft skin, smooth too. They can look childish, or act childish. Their chest area can be prominent too, if they are a woman, they can also be blessed with beautiful curves. Can be thick as well. Can have a normal height to small, their face can be round, they can also have high peach voice, a smooth one too. Soft spoken. They can also be pretty chill, calm, sweet. They can be known for being the sweetest. They can have round, big shiny eyes.
♱ Leo/ 5H/ 5°, 17°, 29°/ Sun
FS can have Leo rising, Leo degree on their rising, or Sun in their 1H. They can also have a Sun ruled Rising. FS can look very charming, they can look very bright, someone with beautiful smile, smiley face, they can look like a main character, very unique. They can often look good, know how to dress well even casually. They can have a very good voice, they can also have a good laugh, one that is loud too. They can have prominent hair as well, often thick. They can often work out, be toned or athletic. They can be friendly, nice, sweet, they can seem like they are confident, they can have a good personality, popular, people can often like them. They can be wealthy, come from a wealthy family, they can be wise too.
♱ Virgo/ 6H/ 6°, 18°/ Mercury
FS can have Virgo rising, Virgo degree on their rising, or Mercury in their 1H. They can also have a Mercury ruled Rising. FS can look young, they can be younger than you too. FS can be very smart, they can be witty, funny. FS can love to study, FS can also be a perfectionist, they can also be into control, cleaning, arranging, etc. They can seem cold at first, or very serious. FS is calm, chill, but often can also be anxious or stressed. They can look tired as well. FS can have a normal height, they can look tired, they can have a beautiful smile, they can have a beautiful voice, they can also look very neat, clean. They can smell good. Can have darker eyes too, not only the color but more about the aura.
♱ Libra/ 7H/ 7°, 19°/ Venus
FS can have Libra rising, Libra degree on their rising, or Venus in their 1H. They can also have a Venus ruled Rising. Future Spouse can look very good, beautiful, handsome, you can feel like you are blessing with someone just look stunning. Your person can have a lot of charm, they can look so good they can attract a lot of people. They can be extrovert or be a social butterfly. They can be into art, be creative, they can also like music. They can often dress in a way that make them look so good looking. They can often have a very good body, they can be blessed with a beautiful bottom too. They can have a nice skin as well. They can just have the gift of always looking nice, whatever they were and wherever they are. Can also attract a lot of suitors.
♱ Scorpio/ 8H/ 8°, 20°/ Pluto
FS can have Scorpio rising, Scorpio degree on their rising, or Mars/ Pluto in their 1H. They can also have a Mars or Pluto ruled Rising. FS can look quite mysterious, they can also have a dark aura, can be cold and distant. They can also look scary and intimidating. They can often change their appearance, they can have dark eyes, dark hair, thick hair, thick eyebrows, they can be slim, they can also have beautiful and deep eyes, you could stare in those for hours. Though, their eyes can also cut if they could, their emotions often go through their stare. FS is independent, FS is intense, mysterious, deep, FS can be controlling, possessive and jealous. FS can also have a strong will, they can also be powerful somehow. FS holds deep secrets and are secretive in general.
♱ Sagittarius/ 9H/ 9°, 21°/ Jupiter
FS can have Sagittarius rising, Sagittarius degree on their rising, or Jupiter in their 1H. They can also have a Jupiter ruled Rising. FS can be older than you, they can look quite charming, can look optimistic, they can also look very good. FS can be tall to normal height, they can also be thick or curvy. FS have a good proportions on their body. FS can have a main character vibe, they can be sweet, nice, smart, funny, they can also be witty. FS can love to learn, and be curious. FS can be wise and mature, they can be thirsty for knowledge. FS can be popular, people love them. FS can be religious or spiritual, FS can also be independent, likes to be free. FS will be honest too.
♱ Capricorn/ 10H/ 10°, 22°/ Saturn
FS can have Capricorn rising, Capricorn degree on their rising, or Saturn in their 1H. They can also have a Saturn ruled Rising. FS can be older than you, they can also look more mature, wise, older too. FS can indeed be mature mentally, they can be stable as well, they can have money, be wealthy, comes from a wealthy family, money can come from their father. They can be someone who is wise, calm, but they can be anxious, stressed or depressed, burn out. They can look tired often. FS can still be charming, they can also seem cold or too serious when you meet them. Can actually not smile often in general. They can be quite slim, or skinny, they can also have prominent teeth.
♱ Aquarius/ 11H/ 11°, 23°/ Uranus
FS can have Aquarius rising, Aquarius degree on their rising, or Saturn/ Uranus in their 1H. They can also have a Saturn or Uranus ruled Rising. FS can look tall, slim, they can also have a very unique style, or dress in an eccentric way. They can often want to stand out physically. FS can have messy hair lol. Sharp eyes too. FS can seem chill and calm. FS is smart, intelligent, eccentric, original, can be considered weird by some, passionate. FS can also take interest in the most uncommon hobbies, or have hobbies that are avant-garde. FS can often be popular and not get it or do not care. FS wants to be seen as different it's their pride lol.
♱ Pisces/ 12H/ 12°, 24°/ Neptune
FS can have Pisces rising, Pisces degree on their rising, or Jupiter/ Neptune in their 1H. They can also have a Jupiter or Neptune ruled Rising. FS can look young, can look younger than their real age. FS can look thick, curvy. FS can have shiny eyes, they can often seem like they are about to cry. FS can look innocent, sweet, nice. FS can be short, they can also have fair skin, or smooth one too. FS can look like they often daydream, in their world, they can be shy and not talk much at first. FS can be very nice, sweet, FS can be selfless, but can have hard time to put boundaries with people. Too nice. Can be naive too. FS loves art, music, etc. FS can easily be addicted to things. Can smoke or drink. FS can also look sleepy!
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Wait - Ollie Bearman
Words: 4,936 Summary: Ollie Bearman doesn’t wear necklaces, it’s just not his thing. So why during the 2023 Mexico GP is he spotted wearing a necklace with a familiar ring hanging from the chain Note(s)/Warning(s): This is in fact the purity ring fic. It’s a bit NSFW. Reader is Max Verstappen’s little sister. I nearly included lestappen because the idea of both Verstappen siblings dating a Ferrari (or Ferrari adjacent) driver was funny to me, but I didn’t. Also, thank you to all the people who told me to write this. I’m going to go somewhere, but I’m glad I did!
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A ring sits on her finger. The same finger that will one day have an engagement ring then a wedding band to join. The band is thin with two knots and between both knots are four tiny pearls, barely the size of a grain of rice and in the middle of those four pearls is a mix of her birthstone and Max’s. She had gotten it when she was eleven shortly after she had heard Max joking with some of his friends about sex and she went to their mom asking what exactly they meant and for the past six years it had sat there.
It was the first big purchase Max had made with his F1 paycheck. The seventeen year old had felt ashamed and horrified at his baby sister overhearing the things him and friends were joking about. And even worse when their mom had to give her the talk. It had been nothing however compared to what their father had thought when learning of it. Max had swore his ears were ringing as Jos had yelled at him for first having his friends around her and second talking about sex when he knew that she was in the house and liked to randomly join them.
The ring had been a nice way to ease the tension and though he had been a bit red as he explained what it was to her, she had nodded along with his explanation, looking serious before putting it on and then smiling at him and hugging him.
At eleven it hadn’t really been an issue, wearing a purity ring, promising that she’d wait to be married before having sex. It hadn’t been a problem when she was fifteen and her first spike of hormones hit and suddenly sex wasn’t something that felt so far away or like a weird foreign concept. It hadn’t been a problem at sixteen either when she got her first boyfriend, who Max had quickly run off.
It had started to be a problem after she turned seventeen and got together with Ollie.
Ollie who she was never supposed to meet. Was only supposed to know of because she followed F2 and F3. But then she joined Max for the remainder of the 2022 season in July. Done with school and unsure if she wanted to go to Uni, unsure really of what she wanted to do.
She had planned to stay home with her mom, putter about the house, maybe do some small writing for Redline and Verstappen.com that she’d email to Kris, who would send her the money that they got paid for them instead of submitting them herself where Max would be sure to give her a stupid amount of money for something that took maybe thirty minutes to write.
But then Max had heard about her plans and she was officially employed by her brother. Managing his website, instagram, and Redline’s social media, going with him to every race, which meant that she had far too much free time and meant that she found herself following around Jack Crawford as he finished up his F3 season which meant running into Ollie Bearman.
Ollie, who was so unexpectedly sweet and cute, who made all the blood rush to her face as her heart worked overtime, made butterflies appear in her stomach.
It had been the second time that they saw each other that he had asked her on a date and now a year later, the two are now both eighteen and head over heels in love, and the ring that rests on her left ring finger feels more like a nuisance.
She had never had sex, hadn’t even really touched or been touched until Ollie but as the F2 season had grown to a close it felt like that was all that was on her mind and Ollie’s.
The kisses they shared when alone quickly grew into heated make out sessions and when they had time, they found themselves in his hotel room under the covers, underwear still on but hands exploring each other's bodies.
She falls in love with the pattern of freckles on his back and the way he shivers when she traces them with her fingers. The spot above his heart that always makes his breath hitch when she kisses it. His strong calves that always tense right after his thighs when she settles on his lap. His hands and how much bigger than hers they are. And his fingers that he lets her play with, kiss and nibble at just to see and hear the stuttered breath he gives as his cheeks turn red.
He falls in love with the small tattoo that still only he knows she has, it’s small enough to just barely be hidden by even her more risqué bikinis. The scar she has on her knee that makes her shiver when his fingers or lips touch it. The soft skin of the underside of her breasts, because it feels nice to stroke when he gets the chance to dip his hands underneath her bra. The moan she gives when he settles in between her thighs and rests his weight on top of her as they kiss.
Ollie knows what the ring is, what it means, what she promised Max. It’s the one thing that always reminds him to stop, that pulls him back when he’s about to dip his fingers beneath her underwear to feel her wetness against his fingers or about to ask her to take her bra off, to let him see more of her. The feeling of her ring always draws him back. Makes him refocus on just kissing her and not getting ahead of himself before he makes another mess of himself.
He sees it every time he sees her, he kisses it every time he lifts her hand to his lips, first kissing the ring, a silent promise to himself that one day he’ll replace it with a ring of his own, before kissing her hand.
So Ollie doesn’t think anything when he comes home from simulator work to his flat in Maranello smelling like brownies. It had taken a bit to convince Max that she didn’t want to go home but rather wanted to go on a little trip with her friends. She just neglected to mention that there was no trip, and by friends she meant boyfriend, and really she meant during the week break they’d have she’d be going to Italy to stay with Ollie.
“That smells so good.” Ollie groans, kicking his shoes off before moving further into the flat. She beams at him, accepting the kiss he presses to her cheek. “I know you had dinner there so I made brownies. And not a whole pan.” She adds. “I know you can’t indulge too much.” “Thank you.” He murmurs, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her back into him.
He starts to sway them both as he stares at the small pan of brownies, the smell of them mouthwatering.
“Can I have one?” “They like just got out of the oven.” He pouts, bending his neck and pressing his face into her neck. “Please?” “You're going to burn your fingers and mouth.” She laughs. “Pretty please?” He tries. She makes a humming noise, one he feels more than hears. “Only if you give me a kiss first.” “Deal.”
She giggles as he quickly turns her in his arms. “Hi.” She greets as she wraps her arms around his neck. “Hi.” He parrots back and the thought of the brownies are gone from his mind as he looks at her.
She’s got a piece of his merch on, one of the sample sweatshirts, but also a pair of his boxer briefs. It’s like she’s drowning in him and he just wants to add to it.
Pressing their lips together, he grunts when her nails dig lightly into the back of his neck.
“Sorry.” She murmurs against his lips. He shakes his head, “it’s fine.”
They stand there for a while just kissing, but then his hands are moving underneath the top she’s wearing, grasping at her hips before fingers trail up her sides before back down and she’s pulling him to his bedroom.
They’ve done this so much that it takes barely any time for him to take his FDA polo off and then his jeans before joining her in bed, settling between her thighs. It doesn’t however stop him from rocking his hips into hers a couple of times before he can stop himself, hunger only growing when her hips hitch upwards and she’s wrapping a leg around him, pulling him closer.
“Fuck, darling.” He gasps, pressing kisses to her exposed throat. She moans, her hands resting on his bare back and it’s the feeling of her ring that makes him stop. Hips nearly thrusting again when she whines, but he tenses his whole body, not letting it loosen even when he kisses her again, swallowing the next whine she lets out.
His right hand makes his way underneath her top as they continue to kiss, his body relaxing into hers as he gets control of himself again.
As his fingers creep up her side, he wonders what they’ll feel. The spandex of her sports bra? The cotton or whatever it is of the one bra she likes to wear to media days? Maybe lace? His mind spins at the last option and he gulps.
She’s only worn lace once and it was on their year anniversary, their first approved sleepover. Though Max had made sure to get her from his hotel room at 11 am. But he considers they have the rest of the week just them together and he doesn’t have to go into the factory anymore. And she made him brownies, homemade. He knows because of the way she had been standing at the kitchen counter, carefully looking at them. So, maybe another treat for him was her wearing lace.
But as fingers reach where he’d normally feel the edge of something there is nothing. He goes to frown but before he can, her chest rises, his fingers graze the underside of her left breast and his hips are snapping into her again.
“Oh my god.” She moans at the feeling. “Fuck.” He curses and he feels out of breath as he feels more of her. “You’re not,” he mutters. “You’re not wearing anything.” She shakes her head, bucking her hips wanting more friction. “Please, Ollie. Want more, want it off.” He should be saying no, he can already feel his control hanging by thread at the knowledge that she’s not wearing a bra, he doesn’t know what he’ll do if he sees her boobs for the first time, but he’s backing away, letting her sit up, and she’s flinging his sweatshirt off.
His jaw drops at the sight, eyes wide and his dick twitches. He sees the way she bites at her lips, arms starting to come up and he’s quick to react. Fingers touching the soft skin, thumbs rubbing at her nipples as he sort of holds them.
“Pretty.” He manages to get out and feels himself blush. “Can we kiss again?” Ollie nods, eager.
He carefully lays next to her, drawing her on top of him, the two both gasping at the feeling of her bare breasts resting on his bare chest.
His hands dance up and down her back, sometimes his pinky fingers dipping below the waistband of his boxer briefs that she’s wearing before moving back up again as they kiss, hips still moving together.
When she shifts a little on top of him, moaning, he grasps at her hips, stopping her from moving as he feels himself twitch and he just knows that he has to be leaking, creating a wet spot in his underwear.
“We have to stop.” “I’m close though.” His head falls back and he groans. “I am too.” “I,” She stops, thinking of the lingerie she had brought with her, the dinner reservation she had made for herself and Ollie tomorrow night, the necklace chain also in her suitcase. “I want more.” She says, before taking a deep breath and meeting his eyes. “I want to have sex with you.” He’s looking at her wide eyes and she’d think that he didn’t want her back if she couldn’t feel how hard he was underneath her. “But,” his eyes dart to her left hand. “I thought we were waiting.” She feels blood rush to her cheeks at his whisper, at the promise he made for and to her.
She had been nervous when telling Ollie about her purity ring and about she would like to wait awhile, maybe even till marriage to have sex, especially after he shared that he had already had sex before. But he had been surprisingly okay with it after he had a few days to think and wrap his head around it, and not that she knew but to talk to his dad about it, before he came back said that he’d wait as long as she wanted.
“I mean, we did.” She whispers back. “I just, I think you’re the one, ya’know. And even if you aren’t, I can’t see myself ever regretting you.” There’s a stinging in his eyes and he clears his throat. “Okay.” He shifts her down a bit so he can sit up, pressing their lips together. “Okay.”
Her hands cup his cheeks as they kiss while his hands stay on her hips. Not moving or doing anything despite the fact that she’s given the all clear. It’s one of her hands dropping from his face to trail down his body, that makes his hands move, grabbing her ass, pressing her down and closer. It makes her gasp.
“Ollie.” He groans at the sound of her moaning his name. His eyes dart to his nightstand, where there should be some condoms in the drawer with lube as well and then he’s cursing, hands falling away from her. “We have to stop, darling. I’m sorry.” “But,” She shifts on top of him and he swears again when he looks down and sees a wet patch peeking out from where she’s sitting on top of him. “I know, but I don’t have any condoms.” He feels himself flush, “I threw them away after we got serious since I figured it wouldn’t happen for a few years.” “No.” She whines, heading dropping onto his shoulder as her whole body sags.
She hadn’t thought about buying condoms, mainly because despite the lingerie she packed and the dinner reservation, she hadn’t actually planned on them having sex. She just wanted more, even some dry humping or at the very least to feel fingers against her that weren’t her own.
“I could pull out.” The words are weak to his own ears. She lifts her head slightly to look at him. “Do you really think you could?” “I could run and get some condoms.” He really doesn’t feel like getting back in the car, doesn’t feel like leaving her, but he’d do it. "No,” she shakes her head. She didn’t like the idea of being alone, waiting for him to come back with condoms. Or him putting clothes back on, the idea makes her nose wrinkle. She then pauses as something comes to mind. “How’s your Italian?” His brows furrow at the question. “It’s decent. Basic and more strategy and car related. But I get by, why?” “I was thinking of Plan B.” “Plan B?” His brows furrow more before it clicks and his eyes widen, “oh, Plan B.” “Yeah, I’d still want it even if you do end up pulling out, but I don’t think that will happen.” He wants to protest, deny, argue that he absolutely could pull out, but it’d be a lie.
“Ollie.” She whines nearly an hour later as he tries to get her to separate her thighs. “You’re all sticky.” He tells her. “I need to clean you up before it dries.” And god was it a bitch to clean up dried cum. “I’ll be quick.” He promises. She pouts, but lets her thighs fall apart, wincing at the burning muscles. He swallows at the sight of their mixed release. He hadn’t managed to pull out the first time, but the second he had managed to, only to finish practically in her anyways. And it was worse because of her own two orgasms that added to the mess. Taking the damp cloth, he carefully cleans her up, apologizing when she whines when he presses a bit too much on her clit.
“Much better.” He grins, when he’s done. Throwing the cloth in the direction of his laundry hamper. “Cuddle?” She asks, making grabby hands at him and eagerly joins her again in bed, slipping the covers over both of them. “That’s better.” She mumbles, when they settle together and he laughs, pressing a kiss to her head.
It’s hard for him to leave when he wakes up in the morning. They’re still both naked and she’s sleeping peacefully beside him. But he’d rather go and get her the Plan B now, then put it off until later when she’ll be fully awake.
Rolling to his side, he presses a series of light kisses to her face. She mumbles a bit and he chuckles. “I’ve got to go, darling.” She mumbles again, turning to lay on her side as well. “I’ve got to go. I’ll be right back.” “Where are you going?” Her voice is low, thick with sleep. “I need to get some things real quickly. I’ll be back in thirty minutes, okay?” “Do you have to?” She pouts. “I’ll be quick.” He promises, bending to kiss her.
It takes him barely any time to get the Plan B and condoms, though he had stumbled his way through Italian to get the Plan B before just pulling up a picture of it.
“Darling?” He calls when he gets back. “Kitchen.” She calls back, a hint of sleep still in her voice. With the bag hanging from his finger, he walks to the kitchen. “I got you plan b and condoms for me, just in case.” “No, just in case. I’d like a repeat.” He grins at her, setting the bag on the counter. “Yeah?” She nods, bottom lip between her teeth. “Yeah.” Bending, he captures her lips in a quick kiss, humming.
“Want to do brownies for breakfast?” His eyes widen and they dart to the counter. “I completely forgot you even made those!” “I’ll take that a yes?” “Please!”
Cutting him a piece and then one of herself, she puts them on a plate as Ollie gets them both something to drink before they both go to the living room and sit on the couch.
“These are so good.” He mumbles, catching a crumb before it can fall. “You say that everytime.” “Because it’s true! These are really good.” Her brownie was a good bit smaller than his so as soon as she finishes her, she’s standing up and retrieving something from her suitcase, ignoring him asking where she’s going.
Sitting back down, she places a box in his lap.
“What is this?” He asks, setting the plate on the coffee table, only a few crumbs on it. “I bought it for you a while ago and have been carrying it around since, just wasn’t sure when exactly I’d give it to you.” He looks at her intrigued, before looking back at the box and carefully opening it.
Ollie’s brows furrow at the thin chain that rests inside. It was nice, very nice, though not by a brand that he recognized. It was also a weird gift considering he didn’t wear necklaces, though if he was going to wear one, it would be this one.
“What’s it for?” He asks. “I, uh,” she stutters a bit over her words, playing her ring before carefully pulling it off, flexing her fingers at the odd sensation of it not being there. “It’s for this.” And she drops the ring she’s worn since she was eleven into his palm. “But this is yours.” “And I can’t wear it anymore.” She tells him. “I intended to wait longer to have sex, but I don’t regret last night and I won’t regret anything we do in the future. It’s yours now and I kind of liked the idea of you carrying it with you wherever you go.” He stares at the ring, tries to ignore the pulse of want and smugness, because he got to have her first and he was fairly certain he’d be her only and last.
Lifting the chain out of the box, he carefully unclasps it, threading the ring on, before clasping it around his neck, the ring resting just below the hollow of his neck, easily hidden behind any shirt he wears if he has it tucked in.
Turning his neck, the sensation of something there is odd and he says that. “It’ll take some getting used to, but I like it.” “Yeah?” “Yeah.”
It doesn’t take him long to get used to the necklace and he practically never takes it off, only in the shower or when doing certain training sessions and it hasn't happened yet but when he has to get into the F1 car and then his F2 car, he’ll be taking it off then as well.
No one really notices his new accessory, he’s not doing much on social media, his mum and dad had asked him about it and he had flushed but just said that it was something she had gotten for him and lucky they didn’t press for more. It gives a false sense of security that comes crashing down in Mexico.
He’s on a bit of a high for doing his first free practice and not placing dead last even though it’s only free practice and placing doesn’t really matter. He’s out of his race suit, having been able to not shower but wipe himself down with a damp towel before getting back into the Haas polo and jumping in to do more media. And as he does some interviews he doesn’t notice the way her ring that’s kept underneath his shirt is on full display.
But it does come to his attention when he finally gets his phone and sees so many mentions and a strange text full of exclamation marks that has him quickly hitting the call button.
“Is everything okay? I got a weird text from you.” “Ollie.” “What’s wrong?” He’s about to exit the Haas hospitality, he could be at Red Bull’s in about a minute at the strained sound of her voice. “My ring, everyone saw my ring.” His eyes widen and he’s cursing. “Oh no.” “Yeah.” “And they all know.” “Yeah.” She confirms again. “Because Max had to make it clear what the ring was.” She laughs, but it’s clear that she’s on the verge of tears, her voice tight. The sound has him wanting to wrap in his arms, shield her away, but it also has him confused. She never cared about what fans thought of her. She was very much like her brother in that matter. It was all water off a duck’s back. “What’s wrong, darling?” He asks, dropping his voice as someone looks at him weirdly. “I just, Max hadn’t noticed, no one has really. And I don’t regret it Ollie, but that was a promise I made to Max, to save myself.” The last three words come out as a whisper. “And now he’s going to find out because the whole of F1 twitter is talking about it. I should’ve told him.” “It’ll be okay.” He reassures her, but now the realization has hit that he’s going to have deal with Max and not just Max, but Daniel and Charles and fucking Arthur, which is a bit insulting because it’s Arthur of all people, but the Leclerc’s liked her a lot, Charles liked to argue with Max that she was actually their younger sister and not Max’s, which lead to a headache of bickering between the two drivers.
“Can I come to you?” He looks down at his watch even though he knows that he doesn’t have any more interviews, just needs to stay to watch the last session play out since he already did his debriefing as well. “Yeah, do you want me to walk you over?” “No, I’ll be there in a second.”
Meeting her at the doors of the hospitality, he quickly ushers her in before leading her to a back corner, the both of them sinking to the floor, somewhat hidden from view by a couch.
“You alright?” “Yeah.” She breathes, pressing close to him. “I just should’ve said something to Max. I just didn’t want to say anything y’know?” And he can feel her nose wrinkle at the idea and his does the same. Because yeah it was a bit gross to think about telling your sibling that you’ve had sex just so they won’t be blindsided by the media. “He’s gonna hate me again.” She doesn’t say anything and he groans, throwing his head back against the wall. “I just made some progress with him.” “I know, bear.” She murmurs, kissing his cheek. “I could put it back on? Say that I gave it to you as a good luck charm.”
It’s a good idea, a perfect solution for their problem, but it’s clear that she doesn’t like the idea and he doesn’t like the idea either. He’s grown used to the small weight of the ring resting below the hollow of his throat and he’s not fond of the idea of seeing a ring that’s not his on her ring finger again.
“Maybe I should propose.” She jerks away from him like she’s been burned. “Fuck, that’s not what I meant.” He quickly says. “I just I don’t want to give it back. I don't want to see you wearing it again and I just,” he waves his hands around. “My brain was running. I’m sorry.” Her eyes are focused on his and she slowly presses back into him, though she keeps her head pulled back so they can look at each other. “Is that something you really want in the future? To be married to me?” “One hundred percent.” She blinks at the quick response, a smile starting to bloom on her face. “Not now, just because I don’t want to rely on nothing but sponsors and my dad for money, but maybe once I got an F1 seat and then got a contract extension or new seat. I’d have money to help support us, to buy you a nice ring, house.” He hopes that she can’t tell how much he’s thought about this, how much he’s rambled to both Jak and Fred about this even though if either of them got the chance they’d happily rat him out for being such a preteen girl, and he just knows that Jak told Fred what that means. “I want that too.”
Ollie wonders if him intending on marrying her, on putting a ring on her finger will lessen the brunt of anger he’s sure to receive and it doesn’t.
“You defiled my sister!” The eighteen years old both make a face at the Dutch man’s words. “No one defiled anyone.” Max ignores her, glaring at the British driver. “You touched her.” Ollie nearly reaches out for her hand, but keeps his hands to himself, as he gives a tiny nod. “Max, it’s alright. I wanted it.” Max and Daniel both make a face at her words. “Ew. You shouldn’t even know what it is.” “Well, Max kind of ruined that for me when I was eleven.” She snarks and her brother flushes. “Which is why I gave you the ring! You were supposed to save yourself for marriage! Keep yourself away from boys like Ollie!” “What’s wrong with me?” He asks, offended. “You’re a teenager.” Daniel tells him with a shrug. “And you’ve got a dick. That’s all it really takes.”
“What happened to waiting?” Max asks, voice a little quieter as he looks at her. “Max,” she starts and then includes the Alpha Tauri driver who’s inched closer. “Daniel. I thought I was going to wait for marriage, or at least a few more years, but Ollie,” she pauses, feeling blood rush to her cheeks. “Ollie feels like the one.” She reaches out for his hand, intertwining their fingers. “And even if he isn’t, I won’t regret what we did.”
The two older men stare at her, at them. One who can remember holding her just hours after she was born, and the other who got to know her shortly after Max’s fuck up when she was eleven. Both her brothers, one just a bit longer than the other.
Max swallows harshly, the full realization hitting him that his baby sister isn’t a baby anymore. She’s an adult and he’s never really had the right to get mad at her for things she does but he really doesn’t now. He can feel Daniel standing behind him, and knows that the older man will go with him whatever way he chooses.
Stepping forward, he pulls her into a hug and wonders where the time has gone. “As long as you don’t regret it, yeah?” She hugs him back tighter, tension in her shoulders loosening at his acceptance. “Yeah. Love you, Maxy.” He laughs, a quiet thing. “Love you too.”
@arshiyuh @mangotaitai @gemofthenight @peachiicherries @lpab @copper-boom @topguncultleader @iloveyou3000morgan @benstormy
#ollie bearman imagine#ollie bearman x reader#f2 x reader#f2 imagine#formula 2 imagine#formula 2 x reader#oliver bearman x reader#oliver bearman imagine#sins fics
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AITA for not having time to read my mutual's writing?
Met a mutual on here, bonded through fanfic, have been tight with them for a few years with pretty much no bumps in the relationship, just overall had a really good time hanging around them when I could. We both write a lot and share our writing, and occasionally we talk about that writing/workshop it in passing.
In the past few years I've gone through a ton of life changes. Most notably I went from a multi-person household to a single-person one, and I've been living alone in a prohibitively costly city for a while now working 40 hour weeks and barely scraping by. As soon as the transition started I spent the last of my free income on a shitty little laptop so I could still write, putting down words on my bus/train commutes in the morning and quite literally writing on my breaks at work because I feel insane when I can't create. I bring this up to really stress that I don't have the time for the hobby, I force myself to make the time and even then it never feels like enough.
The only thing I can really stand to do with my 3 hours of free time at night is hang out with my moots online. I'm an extrovert so being around people recharges me. If I don't have designated social time I get super depressed and can pretty much feel my soul withering away. I also feel like I should probably mention that I kinda have a slew of mental issues, personality disorders and PTSD and AuDHD and the works. Point being, shit is rough my dude, but I am a person who likes to work hard and face challenges head on and even though we strugglin, we doing it with a positive outlook.
But! I am an incredibly solution-oriented person and I have found what I personally believe to be a good balance. No one should have to live like this, but I do, and I have found a way to be happy. My writing and my social time is all load-bearing. It is not something I just choose to do on a whim, it's all planned and scheduled and I adhere to those routines very strictly because, I cannot stress this enough, I will go fucking bonkers if I don't.
I'm mutuals with a lot of writers obv, and I sadly don't have time to read their work anymore, unless I get some extra time on my days off or something gets cancelled or like, I end up taking a vacation. I carry a great amount of guilt for this, though, even though I logically know it's reasonable. I try to support them where I can, cheer them on when I see them writing and tell them how cool their ideas sound, hype them up even when I can't actually read & review.
One of the things I do is sometimes I leave a kudos on fic I haven't read. I'm not trying to be ingenuine, and if they asked me I'd tell them like 'Oh I didn't read it yet, just wanted to show support!' but to me it's kinda like ripping a paper tab off a poster so that other's feel inclined to do the same. Plus my pals get a little email and a hit of serotonin.
Except one of my acquaintances, the one I mentioned at the start here, saw that I left kudos on a couple pieces another mutual of mine wrote this year. They more or less blew up my DMs with a ton of accusatory (like, literally presented like a 'GOTCHA!') stuff about how I was selective in who's fic I read, more or less implying that I secretly held some sort of grudge or negative feeling toward them and was making the conscious decision not to read or interact with their writing because of. Something, I don't actually know what they were trying to say. They also told me they vented to their friends about this MULTIPLE times, but they never once approached me to let me know they were feeling paranoid or neglected, they literally just took the most bad faith reading of it possible and then presented that to me like it was something I intentionally did, while the whole time I was unaware.
I tried to explain to them the kudos thing, that I didn't do it to every story, just ones I caught/noticed in my busy schedule. And I laid all this out and asked, multiple times, what free time am I supposed to read with? They didn't answer, and doubled down, kept trying to show me 'proof' that I was shorting them and no one else. Once they started to realize how wrong they were they backed down, but they didn't really apologize, or admit they were wrong, and they tried to end our relationship and left every single server we were in together. Because of some other unrelated stuff going on in my life, I didn't really consider them to be a close friend, but they were someone I really held dear and would've walked through hell for if they'd asked.
I still feel like there is something I'm missing here, and that's why I wanted to ask if I'm TA. I'm a pretty good communicator but one of the things I told myself when talking down my disordered thoughts (guilt about this prior) was "no one in their right mind would use reading fanfic as a metric for friendship." Now that I've had that exact thing happen, I'm starting to think maybe those thoughts weren't so disordered. Maybe this IS a big deal, and I should think about it more, but I don't even know what the solution to that would be. I just. Don't have time to read something lovingly crafted and appreciate it for what it is. All the hours in my week are used up, I'd have to lose sleep for this and with my mental health the way it is that is not an option.
Feel free to be a brutal, my skin is thick. Thanks!
What are these acronyms?
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Europe VAT laws not changing any time soon, recent. If understand FAQ well, mean shipping to Europe impossible for several years minimum?
That's correct, I won't be shipping to the EU for the foreseeable future due to some import packaging regulations that either have already been implemented or are planning to be implemented in the future.
Note that this is for EU countries only—I can ship to all other non-EU countries like Switzerland, except for the UK due to the UK's own convoluted VAT system.
The only workaround I can offer for EU folks is that you can have a friend or family that lives in a non-EU country place an order to deliver to their address, and then they are able to ship that order to you marked as a gift. Not an option for everyone, I know.
Longer explanation under the readmore for those curious:
As it stands now, each EU country has its own system and fees that I can't keep up with (for example, France would cost me 80 euros per year), I'd need to individually register and report to each country, some require reporting and tracking of what sources of packaging I use, I believe? It's all very complicated, and it makes my head spin just trying to figure out what the requirements actually are, so that's why I stopped shipping to the EU entirely out of an abundance of caution. I also just don't get enough sales to the EU to justify the headache, I'd probably actually lose money paying all the fees. Actually, while I was looking up details while writing this post, apparently there's a new PPWR that's going to replace the old EU Packaging Directive? This is why I can't handle this (ಥ﹏ಥ)
As for why this doesn't seem to be affecting all companies—corporations can obviously afford their own professionals whose entire job is to handle this stuff, and the requirements are also different for large vs small volumes. Meanwhile, a lot of other small or 1-person businesses straight up don't know about these requirements, because it's not like there's a memo passed around about updates to international shipping law. It's also even more confusing because some packages are slipping by without any issue, probably in part due to how the regulations are still new and still being implemented, so I assume it's kind of a mess.
I know of a few people who are willingly taking the risk and shipping to the EU anyway and have had no consequences (for now at least), but I'm not risking the fines ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Now for the UK, their VAT system doesn't have anything to do with packaging, but what it does require is similar registration with the government, and I'm required to collect and pay the VAT myself. No thanks!
TLDR; laws hard. laws also expensive. too stupid to figure out and too fearful of fines. no ship to countries
fun story: someone also once emailed me this long diatribe about how they think I'm shit at research and that I'm just making all this up (specifically just to screw with europeans or something, I guess?), so I sent them a few links to the literal official government websites where I got my info (like that UK one), and they never responded. lol
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How did you find the doctor(s) who assessed you for ADHD? Im looking into the process of getting diagnosed because (although ive suspected I might have adhd for years now) I've been struggling a lot more lately and i want to try medication to see if it helps at all. Im trying to search for psychiatrists through my health insurance portal but the the results im getting are all for child/adolescent psychiatry specialists, and I dont think that'll be much help for an adult adhd assessment? Did you have an established therapist to refer you for your assessment or were you able to find a psychiatrist independently?
I actually just kind of had to freeform it, but that does mean I have some tips to share!
I will say, I have never once used a health insurance portal to find someone to treat me for anything. Often their search engine is fucked up and the information is sometimes out of date. I almost always either ask someone who I know has had similar issues if they have a recommendation, ask my treating physician if I have one, or just google until I find someone reputable-looking; any qualified medical center or professional will list what insurance they take anyway, and you can always ask when you make the appointment.
So here's the process for how to do that!
When I was first considering it, I asked a friend who'd had an evaluation that came back not-ADHD, which I liked because it meant we knew it wasn't like, a weird Adderall pill mill or something. I really wanted to have a professional and thorough evaluation because I knew myself and knew I was capable of gaming a questionnaire. The place she had her evaluation was unfortunately having some staffing issues; part of the reason it took me so long is that I played phone tag with them for ages -- I'd call, and regardless of what time of day I called, their scheduler would be "out", so I'd leave a message and never get a call back. Ultimately I said "I really need to talk to a human, because your scheduler has not returned any of my numerous calls" and they said they could transfer me to another office outside of Chicago (in the burbs). That was not going to be accessible to me, so I told them thanks but I'll go somewhere else. Then COVID hit and I was not going to go anywhere near a medical center unless I had to for about two years.
So, when I was making my second serious run at getting evaluated, I did what might be expected of me by longtime readers of this blog: I made a spreadsheet.
I want to caveat this up top with REALLY IMPORTANT CONTEXT: I did not do all of this in a single day. The process from starting research to making an evaluation appointment took about a month, and probably would have taken longer if I wasn't getting somewhat desperate. Do not push yourself to do this as a single act. Research alone is a multi-day process; some days I looked at the open tabs and only entered one tab's worth of information. It took me quite a bit of time to write the form email I sent inquiring about an assessment. It took me time to call the clinic back when they asked me to call to book the appointment. This is a series of steps, not a single leap.
So!
I was looking for a clinic rather than an individual, in part because I'd heard a couple of horror stories about people who went to a psychiatrist and just got argued with for an hour instead of actually getting evaluated. So I googled, and here are some key terms for you, chicago adult adhd assessment. Chicago obviously for the region, but "adult adhd" (putting it in quotes will help) is the important term that will help you filter out a lot of child psych stuff. A lot of what I looked at did included family or child assessment/therapy but were clear that they also evaluated adults.
Then I went through every legit-looking search result and noted down, in my spreadsheet, the name of the clinic/company, the contact phone and email, the URL, the physical location (I needed to be able to get to it fairly easily) and whether they took my insurance. Even if they didn't take my insurance (all but one did) I still put them into the spreadsheet so that if I found them again I could check the sheet and know I didn't need to investigate further. I also tended to bump more legitimate and friendly-looking places to the top of the sheet. And if I were going to do it again I would also look for one specific thing, which is an assessment guide of some kind.
The assessment guide may be something they only give you after you speak with them, so it's not a no-go if they don't have one on their website, but it basically tells you what generally will go on during the assessment, how long it will take, and what you should bring. A full assessment like I had is estimated to take 4-6 hours and they recommended I wear layers so I wouldn't be overly cold/warm in their office, and to bring a snack. That's the kind of information you want, duration of the assessment and what they recommend for you, to ensure that you're working with people who are thorough and care about your comfort.
So, I have this spreadsheet now of places to reach out to, which I know take my insurance and do adult assessment. In the spreadsheet I also had columns for what date I contacted them and whether they'd responded. I started reaching out via email, one per day, with the form email I'd written.
The form email basically said "I'm 42 with no previous diagnosis but I have a family history of autism and dyslexia. I've been told I should get assessed for ADHD, so I'm looking for a clinic that will do the assessment and takes (my insurance). I prefer to be contacted by email but if need be, my phone number is (phone number). Please let me know if you have any open appointments and what information you will need from me to book an evaluation with you." (You can always ask for more information about the actual evaluation process once they respond.)
If I didn't get a response within 24 hours, I moved on to the next, but I only greyed out the text in that line of the spreadsheet; I didn't disqualify/remove the nonresponsive ones because again, I wanted to make sure I kept that information in case they eventually did respond. I did this with about ten clinics, because I figured I must be able to find at least one in ten who could do the eval, and I could go back and research more if necessary.
I think the third or fourth one I reached out to was the first to respond, and I ended up going with them; I had a very positive experience in the assessment itself but it was a real pain in the ass getting the documentation from them -- they took about a month to go through the evaluation data (this is not abnormal but is rather longer than usual according to my psychiatrist) and they gave me an in-person-by-zoom report once it was ready. That said, it took another four months and the threat of reporting them to the state to get them to send me the text of the eval (in part because the evaluator left the clinic unexpectedly with my formal report not yet written). But that's something that's truly impossible to know until you're working with them, and highly unusual, so don't let concerns about that deter you. If you end up in that situation come hit me up and I'll tell you how I dealt with that.
My eval recommended an executive function coach, but if I haven't been able to func it by now I never will, so I thanked them for the recommendation and went looking for a psychiatrist unaffiliated with the clinic to prescribe me meds. There, the key words you're going to be looking for are again "adult adhd" but also "adult disability" and if you want medication that's less likely to be a huge fucking hassle, "medication management". My psychiatrist and I meet every two months to reup my prescription, but he doesn't require me to take a regular drug test or meet him in person in order to get a new scrip, as some people have encountered. We meet in person once or twice a year (I can't remember, it's due to a legal requirement in Illinois) but otherwise it's over zoom.
So yeah -- it's a process, but there are ways to streamline and manage it, and a few tripwires in place to make sure you don't end up screwed by the system. Definitely feel free to ask if you have questions, either here or if you want a more indepth conversation you can email me at [email protected]. GOOD LUCK!
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How to Call Your Reps About Gaza
I make a lot of posts telling you to call your reps! Anyway, here's the overall shape of how to argue to them.
Disclaimer: I am not in politics. I do not have experience as a staffer. I am just someone who cares a lot about where things are going, and wants to help. Also, this is specific to the US, because that's where I'm based. Hopefully, people with expertise can add more suggestions on.
Find your elected officials.
My Ko-fi: this took me two days to write up, so uh. If you've got a few dollars, send them my way so I can keep doing this sort of thing, and maybe move out of my parents' house sooner.
General tips:
Be polite, or at least civil. Do not swear or shout at whoever answers the phone. This will quite possibly get your number blocked. Fifty civil calls over the course of several months will do more than one where you shout. You can be frosty, you can say you are disappointed, you can say you find the actions of your reps to be reprehensible or morally bankrupt, sure. But keep calm and aim criticism at the rep, not the staffer.
Keep it short. The staffers who answer call centers are busy. They usually start trying to hurry me off after about two minutes. I've yet to manage a call longer than four or five minutes. Pick one or two topics for the day, and focus on those. Cycle through them every time you call. Stick to just one from day to day if it's a large, ongoing issue like Gaza.
Plan for voicemail. I get voicemail more often than not. My House rep usually has a staffer free, but the Senators are almost always voicemail. This will give you a minute and a half max. Be ready to get your point squeezed into that.
Only call your representatives. The important, powerful word here is "constituent." You will be ignored or even counted against if you are from a different district or state. The first thing you start with is your name and address. A staffer will ask for the information they need. On voicemail, leave your full name, your city and state, and zip code before you go into your message. Do not lie, either. They look these things up in the system when you call. I'm not sure how--I think maybe they have access to a database of registered voters--but every time I call, they ask for my last name and address and at some point say, 'oh, yep, I've got you right here,' which indicates a database of some sort.
Research at least a little bit about their opinions. If they already agree with you, then it's much easier to leave a quick "I support you and want you to know that" to combat anyone who's arguing from the other side. If they don't, then you're best off finding out what specific issue they have so you can know the best kind of comment to leave.
Look up specific bills or arguments. I get daily emails from GovTrack about bills that are on this week's docket or have been voted on in the past day. IDK about anyone else, but being able to say that I disagree specifically with HR 815 or something makes me feel powerful, and possibly like I will be taken more seriously. Sometimes you can start with articles like this one, which include links to specific bills on the official congress website.
Email after if you can. Reportedly less effective, and takes longer, but you are more likely to get a written (canned) response, and it reinforces whatever you called about.
Basic structure of a call, at least as I've been doing it:
"Hi, my name is ____ ____, and I am a constituent from [city, state], [zip]. I am calling to express my opinion on [topic]. I am concerned about [short argument with a clear impact on the topic]. I ask that you support [measure or fellow congress member]/vote [yay/nay on specific legislature]. Thank you for your time, and I hope you keep my opinion in mind."
For this post, the topic can be stated as the war in Gaza, military funding for Israel, or unrest in the Middle East, depending on which you think your elected official will respond to best. That said, the structure should work for whatever your call is about.
Arguments to use against your elected official... or your on-the-fence cousin:
I'll be honest, some of these are not going to do much against your representative. They know the arguments, and have been going over them with each other for months. You just need to have one locked and loaded that they consider relevant instead of a nonstarter, in order to back up your opinion as 'founded' instead of 'nonsense, can be swayed with a good marketing campaign.'
I'll include explanations if I don't think something is self-evident (or needs more evidence to tell your cousin), but in most of them I'll provide some suggested verbiage that you can tweak as needed, and for a few of them, that's really enough.
THESE ARE FOR THE TOPIC OF CONCERN, ONLY. You still need to end each one with "I ask that the [official] votes to [action]" at the end. Give them something actionable (example from Feb. 13th). My go-tos right now:
Both chambers: Reinstate funding for UNRWA
Both chambers: Place mandatory restrictions on any aid to Israel, with contractual threats to cut funding if Netanyahu and his government continue to disregard civilian life
Senate: Put support behind Bernie Sanders and his motion to restrict funding to Israel until a humanitarian review of the IDF’s actions in Gaza has been completed (S.R. 504) (Tabled by the Senate on 1/16, but it is being brought back in as conditions continue to escalate)
House: Put support behind Rep. Rashida Tlaib’s petition for the US government to recognize the IDF’s actions in Gaza as ethnic cleansing and forced displacement, and put a stop to it.
House: Put support behind H.R. 786, introduced by Rep. Cori Bush, calling for an immediate deescalation and cease-fire in Israel and occupied Palestine.
What Not to Say
"There is no threat to Israel." I've talked about this elsewhere, but the short version is that this will be basically laughed out as you not knowing what you're talking about.
Anything generically antisemitic. (I mean, it might work on some of the white supremacists, but do you really want to encourage that thinking? No, so don't do it.)
Facts that you "heard somewhere" but cannot find a reliable source for. If it's being reported by the New York Times, NPR, or the BBC, it's probably trustworthy by government standards. If it's not a super common statistic, cite the journal you got it from by name. Remember, you aren't arguing to tumblr mutuals. You are arguing to your elected official or your 'I don't really pay attention' cousin. When it comes to this, big name news sources are better.
Unrealistic demands for complete isolationism, permanently abandoning Israel to its own devices, supporting Hamas, etc. Again, you will not be taken seriously. Pick an argument they might actually listen to, and use it to press them towards a possible solution. You want them to believe that if they adjust their position, they will be doing the will of most of their constituents, and thus more likely to get reelected.
The Ethics Argument
Third-party reporting has stated that that nearly 29,000 Gazans are dead since Oct. 7th, as of 2/18/24. The vast majority of those are civilians, and over half are children. Palestinians in Gaza are facing an acute hunger crisis threatening to become a full-blown famine.
The International Court of Justice has found that there is credible reason to believe that the state of Israel is committing a genocide against the Palestinians of Gaza.
This does not mean that every single Israeli is complicit. It does mean that the government, particularly Netanyahu and his associates, has been reprimanded by a large, diverse coalition of countries, and has consistently refused to listen to that court since.
This argument will possibly work on your cousin. Less likely to work on your elected official. They already know the numbers. I just wanted to get it out of the way first.
The Re-Election Argument: Michigan vs New York
Meanwhile, this is possibly the most effective. Again, this is not an argument of ethics. This is an argument of "how can I make my elected official do what I want." We do not use only the purest moral argument. We use what works.
What to say to your elected official: Michigan, as a swing state, was won by democrats on the power of the Arab-American vote in the 2020 election. We (either party) are at risk of losing Michigan due to the current Congressional approach to the Gaza conflict, as that demographic is now polling as likely to abstain from voting entirely. The risk of losing several congressional districts due to the Jewish vote is a real one, but the risk of losing the the executive branch is greater, especially after what we saw with Suozzi. Supporting Palestine might lose us parts of New York, but supporting Israel will lose us Michigan.
Explanation: Something that has been taking up a lot of time and space in the election coverage is the situation in Michigan, and more recently, there has been attention paid to the special election of New York's third district, AKA the "who gets to replace disgraced George Santos" competition.
Michigan is traditionally a swing state. While 2.1% doesn't sound like a lot, that is some 211k-278k people (depending on your source), and while not all of them can vote... Michigan was won by about 154k. Arab-Americans are not the only relevant demographic, but they sure are an important one, and they are vocally opposed to the situation. Approval has dropped from 59% to 17%. From that same article:
As Axios notes, Biden won Michigan in 2020 by 154,000 votes, but there are at least 278,000 Arab Americans in Michigan. Biden took Arizona, a state with an Arab American population of 60,000, by only 10,500 votes. In Georgia, Biden prevailed with a margin of 11,800 voters, in a state that has an Arab American population of 57,000.
Democrats cannot afford to lose these states. Pressure your congresspeople about that, especially if you live in one of those states. I assume most Arab-Americans in said states are already calling every day; the rest of you can join in.
Meanwhile, most Jews (considered the most pro-Israel demographic by strategists) in America are concentrated in a very small number of electoral districts. Of the twenty most-Jewish, ten are in New York, which is why I put it up in the section header.
One of those districts was won by a Republican in 2022: George Santos, New York's third congressional district. Following his scandals and ousting, the seat was up for a special election, and the two candidates were Tom Suozzi, a democrat who held the seat previously (he decided to run for governor, and lost), and Mazi Pilip, a Nassau county legislator who was of Ethiopian Jewish background and had been in the IDF. She ran on a campaign that leaned strongly pro-Israel and anti-immigration, and when Suozzi won, she interrupted his victory speech to accuse him of supporting a genocide against Israel due to his rather centrist, rather milquetoast stance on the conflict during his election campaign.
Now, Suozzi's win probably had more to do with Pilip being anti-choice than her pro-Israel arguments, but he still won.
Democrats can better risk possibly losing a few seats in NY than definitely losing three swing states.
"But I don't want Dems to win their districts after what they've been--" Nope. Listen to me. Surveys indicate that Republicans are on average more pro-Israel, because Trump and Netanyahu are buddy-buddy, and we do not have a viable third option.
Also, again, this is about convincing Dems to be better. "If you do not vote to put restrictions on funding to Israel, I will not vote for you in November" is a lot more powerful than "I will not vote for you either way, because of what you've been doing, but you should do what I say anyway."
The Re-Election Argument: Risk of Escalation
So, that thing I said about Trump and Netanyahu?
Yeah, so, while Biden is giving Israel military aid while cautioning them to slow down and be careful, Trump is... complicated, but suffice to say he's much closer to Netanyahu on a personal level than Biden is. Biden's relation with Netanyahu is reportedly pretty frosty, while Trump's is based on relations through the Kushners.
Just from wikipedia:
Netanyahu made his closeness to Donald Trump, a personal friend since the 1980s, central to his political appeal in Israel from 2016.[21] During Trump's presidency, the United States recognized Jerusalem as the capital of Israel, recognized Israeli sovereignty over the Golan Heights, and brokered the Abraham Accords, a series of normalization agreements between Israel and various Arab states.
Trump's been more all-over-the-place recently, badmouthing Netanyahu for being what Trump perceives as a loser, which complicates understanding what his approach is. It's kind of incoherent right now.
Given Trump's general history of being pro-Israel, though, and the attempts by House Republicans to push through a bill of unconditional funding for Israel. It failed, but notable is that the more recent bill passed in part because it was paired with aid for Ukraine and Taiwan (something Dems are much more invested in having happen).
What to say to your elected official: If Trump is reelected due to his current appearance of being more critical of Netanyahu, there is evidence from his presidency to indicate that he will support Israel much less critically if elected. While he claims to want to settle the Middle East, it seems incredibly likely that he will worsen the situation for Palestinians, and ramp up retaliatory strikes to groups like the Houthis in a manner that will impact non-military parties, igniting tensions that are already tenuous.
The Disrespect/Wild Card Argument
This particular argument is best used against the Very Patriotic Politicians who are more concerned with the US's image and Being The Alpha Nation than with other things. Basically, this might work on Republicans.
This isn't really something I believe in, as a matter of foreign policy, buuuut it might work on your rep, so. Consider it!
What to say to your elected official: With Israel's recent actions in ignoring Biden, blocking US-sent aid like those flour trucks that got stopped at the Rafah border because they'd be distributed by UNWA, and generally Disrespecting The USA and Being Unpredictable is not only making the US look bad for being unable to wrangle a smaller country, but also making it so we are less able to wrangle other countries in the future, because Israel cannot be predicted and might set someone off.
The Europe and Reputation Argument
What to say to your elected official: The United States is losing credibility as a world power known for its military and ability to manage international disputes on behalf of the UN, because it is seemingly unable to influence Israel, and losing credibility as an upstanding moral state that is not doing foreign coups and banana republics anymore, as it appears to be tacitly supporting Israel's ICJ-labelled genocide, which is a really bad look with the other Western Powers.
I'm not entirely sure who this might work on, but there's gotta be at least a few politicians who are really concerned about America's image, more than about actually doing the right thing. Figure out if your politician is one of them.
If necessary, you can bring up how Trump is threatening to pull US support for NATO if Russia attacks someone.
The Middle East Stability Argument: Iran-backed Militias
What to say to your elected official: I'm concerned that the continued support of Israel, and thus the funding of their actions in Gaza, will increase the instability of Iran-backed militias, as we have already seen with the Houthis and Hezbollah. Entire Muslim-majority nations are showing increased displeasure not only with Israel, but with the US by extension. We cannot afford another war in the Middle East when we haven't yet pulled all our troops from the last one, not with the recent and recurring economic recessions. Any situation would also very likely be complicated or inflamed by the growing tensions among Eritrea, Djibouti, and Ethiopia regarding Red Sea access as well.
Use this on the ones that claim to be pro-military or pro-veteran. See what they said about HR 815 before the foreign military funding amendment was added.
The Middle East Stability Argument: Egypt
What to say to your elected official: Egypt's government has been unstable since the Arab Spring, and even now the military government is incredibly unpopular. With that existing instability, the addition of economic strain from the reduced usage of the Suez canal, the international disputes occurring because they're the main throughway for aid into Gaza, and the threat of a sudden influx of nearly one and a half million Palestinian refugees should Israel continue to push south... Egypt is looking at a possible near-collapse as we've seen in nearby nations suffering similar instabilities.
Explanation: It took several years for Egypt to really start recovering from the revolts in 2013, and it has applied for four IMF loans in recent years. The current government is unpopular to such a degree that they are looking to build an entire new capital from scratch in the middle of the desert so that they're less open to the risk of civilian uprisings; one of the primary causes for civilian dissatisfaction is economic issues.
Due to Houthi attacks at the Bab al-Mandab Strait, traffic through the Suez canal is down massively, and since the canal "represents almost 5% of the GNP and 10% of GDP and is one of Egypt’s most important sources of hard currency." (src) Various sources are reporting that trade through the canal is down 40-50%, which is putting more strain on the already unstable economic and political situation.
Finally, Egypt's population is about 110 million, but the governorate that shares a border with Israel and Gaza, North Sinai, has a population of barely 500,000. A push of one and a half million starving, injured people will, very suddenly, nearly quadruple the population of the governorate, and require extreme aid response from Egypt's government to keep alive and prevent a larger crisis in North Sinai and neighboring governorates.
The Middle East Stability Argument: Normalized Relations
What to say to your elected official: I am concerned that Israel's continued attack on Gaza is jeopardizing any chance of normalized relations with the Arab states in the future. American has put a lot of work into trying to get these various countries to normalize with Israel, and our funding of the current attacks on Gaza are sabotaging all that effort.
This one can be combined with the Iran-Backed Militias argument: Israel, in pursuit of revenge against Hamas, is setting itself up to be in more danger long-term, rather than less.
The International Trade Argument
What to say to your elected official: I am concerned about how the war in Gaza is impacting international trade and shipping costs. With the Suez Canal down to half its usual capacity and the Panama Canal raising costs and dropping capacity in response to the water restrictions, along with rising fuel costs in Europe and Asia, global trade is incredibly strained. We are being relegated to the Cape of Good Hope, Cape Horn, and the Malacca strait for much of intercontinental trade, and the macroeconomic projections are looking very bad for America.
The Domestic Economics Argument
What to say to your elected official: Many of the plans for Israeli military funding cause damage to other parts of the budget. For instance, a recent plan put forward by the Republicans of the House suggested IRS cuts in order to move that money, a plan which would impact the US budget negatively in the long term; we need those 14 billion being spent domestically, not supporting an overreaction/possible genocide in Gaza.
Explanation: In general, pick something receiving budget cuts that your congressperson will care about. I care about IRS funding, and saw it mentioned as a target in an article, so that's what I've got in my suggested verbiage up there.
The fewer people that are working for the IRS, the more they focus on auditing poor people (simple, easy taxes) and the less they can effectively audit rich people (complicated, time-consuming taxes), which means rich people are more likely to get away with evading millions or even billions in taxation. So yeah, you want more funding in the IRS if you are poor. They are already auditing you. You want them to audit the big guys.
The Russia and China Argument
What to say to your elected official: I am worried that the current focus on funding Israel without restriction is causing us to lose sight of the international threat posed by Russia and China. Russia is actively invading Ukraine, which continues to put massive strain on the European economy with regards to oil prices, especially with the Suez situation, and China has been testing missiles near Taiwan, and thus testing US responsiveness to those threats, for months now. We cannot afford to support an internationally unpopular war if we want to remain ready for Russia and China.
This is less likely to work on Republicans, since Trump is friendly with Russia, but hey, give it a shot if they're one of the ones who aren't fully in his camp.
EDIT 2/22/24: I'm a bit unsure of this tactic, but I'm putting it out there with hopes that someone with more political experience can offer feedback:
"Congress, and the US government in general, has promised to sanction Russia for the alleged assassination of one man within a week of the suspicious death, after five months of refusing to enact even slight consequences on Israel for the deaths of nearly thirty thousand, half of which are children. This is ethically questionable at best, but for the interests of elected officials, it is a very bad look. The mismatch shows a massive bias by the American government in regards to Israel's ongoing mass murder, with over two million facing famine as a result of Israel's aid blocking, and America's reputation on the world stage, as well as individual politicians' reputations domestically with constituents, is plummeting."
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Finally, my ko-fi again. I spent a long time on this and I'd like to move out of my parents' house sooner rather than later. If you appreciate my time and effort, please feel free to donate a couple bucks.
#current events#palestine#israel#gaza#death tw#activism#united states#free palestine#politics#benjamin netanyahu#pro palestine#israeli propaganda#propaganda#phoenix politics#international politics#domestic politics#egypt#russia#china#donald trump#michigan#new york#tom suozzi#mazi pilip
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Platonic Yandere John Wick
John Wick x Continental Employee Reader
It was a quiet Saturday morning at the Continental, it wasn’t very busy this time of year. Besides all of the shady hitman and crime lords that stayed here periodically. Well, it was only hitmen and crime lords that stayed here due to the hotel being a neutral zone. There were dire consequences to anyone who broke the code.
You somehow found yourself employed here after you got mixed up in a bad situation. You were good with computer, and the man at the front desk thought it would be a lovely idea for you to put your skills to use.
Your job on paper is the IT department, you are the whole department. You help Winston, the older man at the front desk, with any computer issues that he might stumble upon. You help with the Wifi, cable and anything to do with electronics.
But The Continental also offers a new service to its VIP members, a resident hacker. Guests can hire you do do some freelance work for them. You’ve done a couple of jobs, hacking into emails and encrypted hardware for hitmen.
It was stressful work, and the people who hired you have made sure that you won’t be a loose end. You haven’t spoken much since you found yourself in the Underworld, but at least you have free food and a room.
You are in the lounge, trying to figure out what’s wrong with one of the lamps, it wouldn’t turn on. You are pulled from your thoughts when Winston approaches you, you stand up from where you are sitting on the carpet.
He looks over all of the wires that you have pulled from the lamp, he frowns a little. But at least you promised him that you would clean up after you were done messing around with the lamp to see if it could be saved.
“No luck?” He asks, a polite smile on his face. You shake your head slightly, glancing down at the lamp laid on the floor. He sighs a little, seemingly disappointed that the lamp was unsalvageable.
“A shame, it was an antique.” He states as he watches me start to clean up, getting all the screws and wires out of the way. You don’t reply to his comment, and he doesn’t expect you to respond either. You don’t talk much.
“Don’t worry about cleaning up, I’ll get William to do that.” He says, that smile still on his face, it never quite reaches his eyes. William is one of the bartenders in the lounge, he usually is in charge of generic upkeep in the lounge when there aren’t any guests around.
You huff as you stop cleaning up your mess, standing up and facing Winston again.
“Do you need something?” You ask him quietly, wanting to get to the point. You aren’t one for small talk. Winston sighs in mild amusement, he finds your blunt demeanor endearing.
“I do need your assistance. One of the guests requires your services.” He says in his customer service voice. You nod a little as William approaches and starts to tidy up your mess, putting the broken lamp into a garbage bag.
“I’ll go get my computer..” You mumble, walking out of the lounge and into the front lobby.
“Where are they?” You ask Winston quietly, there are a couple of people hanging around in the lobby.
“Mr. Wick is in conference room 2 on the second floor.” Winston replies, handing you your computer from where he keeps it behind the front desk. You take the computer from him and nod.
You enter the elevator in silence, you press the button for the second floor and you wait. The air in the elevator is thick, you are anxious. You hope that you don’t get a target on your back by helping this man. There is always a risk.
You exit the elevator and step out into the hallway. To turn to the right, past a couple talking to each other and into Conference Room Two.
You close the door behind you, and at the end of the long table, is a man in a black suit. It’s John Wick, what could he possibly want from you.
He nods in greeting, seemingly thrown off by how young you are. You couldn’t be more than 19, how did you get mixed up in this line of work?
You give an awkward smile, and you sit to his left at the table. You open up your computer and you turn it on. You are unnerved by the way he is looking at you.
“What do you need done?” You ask him quietly, booting up some of your hacking softwares. You glance over at him before you look back at the computer screen.
“I need you to trace this frequency.” He says, sliding you a USB drive. This will be a little difficult, tracing a frequency from an audio clip? You could be here for a while. You take the drive and you connect it to the computer, you pull the audio clip and drop it into one of your softwares.
He watches as you type away on the computer and as you compare frequencies from all over the globe.
It takes you about half an hour to tell him the rough location of the frequencies origin.
“Munich, Germany.” You mumble, turning the computer screen to him. He hums, and he hands you a large golden coin. The currency of the underworld.
“Don’t you think you’re a little young to be in this line of work?” He asks quietly, his accent Russian-American. He tilts his head a little towards you, waiting for your answer.
You shrug, looking away from him and turning the computer screen back towards you. He frowns a little at your non answer.
“I’ll talk to Winston about letting you go, you’re to young for this.” He says firmly, standing up from his chair. You close the computer and turn it off.
“I’ll be back in a couple of days, I’ll discuss this with Winston before I leave.” He pats you on the shoulder as he passes you, he leaves the conference room and closes the door behind him.
#yandere oneshot#asks open#tw: kidnapping#platonic#platonic yandere#yandere comfort#send asks#platonic john wick#send me asks#yandere john wick#hacker reader#yandere platonic john wick#john wick x reader#platonic yandere john wick
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What's New In IF? Issue 29 (2024)
By Aj, Dion, Briar, Jen and Peter
Now Available!
Itch.io - Keep Reading below
If you read the zine, consider liking the post: it helps us see how many people see it! And sharing is caring! <3
~ EDITORIAL ~
Small Talk... is back!
As you might have read in our last Issue, the Small Talk... section is back due to our amazing interviewers! Continue reading and check out their short debut interview with Leia Talon!
If there’s someone else you’d like to see them interview, don’t hesitate to let us know!
We want some feedback!
As we’re starting to get a hand of things, we would love some feedback from you guys! What you enjoy, want more or less off, how we could improve... Anything goes! We even have a nifty form.
We hope you enjoy this new issue!
AJ, DION, BRIAR, JEN AND PETER
~ BE A PART OF THE ZINE ~
THIS ZINE ONLY HAPPENS WITH YOU!
Want to write 1-2 pages about a neat topic, or deep-dive into a game and review it in details? Share personal experiences or get all academic?
WRITE FOR THE COLUMN!
Prefer to be more low-key but still have something to share? Send us a Zine Letter or share a game title for Highlight on…!
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!
Came across something interesting? Know a release or an update announced? Saw an event happening? Whether it's a game, an article, a podcast… Add any IF-related content to our mini-database!
EVERY LITTLE BIT COUNTS!
Contact us through Tumblr asks, Forum DMs, or even by email! And thank you for your help!!
~ ENDED ~
The 7th edition of inkJam is over and you can check out the result here.
You can now check out all 58 entries for the Monstrous Desires 2024 Visual Novel Jam.
The October Bitsy Jam has also ended. There were only two entries, so be sure to show them some love.
~ ONGOING (VOTING) ~
The voting for ECTOCOMP 2024 has officially started! To vote and participate as a jury, you must do so by giving between 1 to 5 stars on each entry page of the jam. The voting period ends on November 30.
~ ONGOING (SUBMITTING) ~
Disabled Rep VN Jam has a very simple premise but a very important message.
Once upon a time, a game jam was held to create stories around the theme of fairy tales… and that game jam is the Once Upon A Time VN Jam. It’s running from October 1st to January 31st.
Concours de Fiction Interactive Francophone 2025 is for all French-speaking enthusiasts. Submissions are accepted March 3rd 2025.
Are you perhaps a fan of more somber, melancholic themes? Then check out the Dying Year - Visual Novel Jam! You have until the end of the year to participate.
The Black Visual Novel Jam is all about working with creative professional developers who work in visual novels to bring more Black stories to life. The goal is to create a space where Black creators can show their unique storytelling through visual novels.
~ OTHER ~
Jams are a great way to find new games! Don’t be afraid to check out submissions from previous years as well. There might be some gems hiding between them!
~ SMALL TALK… ~
> WITH LEIA TALON @leiatalon
Joining us today is a fantasy romance writer Leia Talon! ~ Author of the newly released “Ink and Intrigue”, “Their majesties’ Pleasure” and and The World Tree Chronicles book series.
⟶ Hello, Leia! Welcome to Small Talk. We are absolutely thrilled to have you here with us!
Thanks for giving me a chance to chat with you!
⟶ Before we begin, would you mind sharing with us a bit about yourself and how you got into IF writing?
A few years ago I was looking for writing opportunities that were outside the box, so to speak. I’ve gone the self-publishing route and tried my hand at getting a traditional publishing deal as a novelist, and was hoping there were other avenues to earn a bit of money doing what I love, which is writing fantasy romance.
At that time I’d written a dozen novel manuscripts and dabbled in screenwriting, then stumbled upon Choice of Games and Heart’s Choice, which piqued my interest in a big way! I thought I’d try my hand at interactive fiction. Many of my manuscripts aren’t published, so I thought I’d be able to pull source material from stories I’d already created. What actually happened is I made up a completely new world for Their Majesties’ Pleasure, my first game with Heart’s Choice, then built on that and pulled from one of my unpublished stories for Ink and Intrigue.
⟶ Now, onto the questions! Would you ever try different mediums when it comes to IF? (i.e Ren'Py, Twine)
I’m not opposed to it, but I’m a storyteller more than a gamer, so it would really depend on how well I could use each medium to tell a story.
⟶ What are the similarities and differences between writing a “simple” novel and an interactive fiction one?
So many! How about some bullet points?
Similarities:
Both need strong characters,
A strong plot,
Vivid worldbuilding,
And plenty of motivation and conflict for characters.
Differences:
Outlining is a must! You can write a novel on vibes and figure out the plot as you go. You can’t do that with IF, at least I don’t think it can be done well, or at least it would prove extremely difficult for the author to pull off. Having a plan helps figure out pacing, scope-creep, and gives you a definite outcome (or outcomes, as the case may be) to work towards. Planning is helpful for novels, too, but essential for IF.
With novel writing there’s the phrase “K!ll your darlings,” meaning you cut any scenes, sentences, or words that don’t advance the plot or add something vital to the story. In IF, all your darlings can come out to play! If someone isn’t interested, they can skip that choice, or if they are interested, they can enjoy the side-quest or conversation or glimmer of information that would otherwise be omitted in a novel.
Writing IF adds coding, obviously, and a lot more details and complications to a story, keeping all the variables in play and making sure to wrap up all threads at the end. You have to do a certain extent of wrapping up plotlines with novels, but nowhere near the extent required by an IF.
A novel is typically 90,000 words or so, whereas an IF can be far longer (or shorter, if the author prefers). I’m honestly still blown away that Ink and Intrigue ended up being over 300,000 words! A playthrough obviously isn’t that long, but that’s like writing three novels.
I’m sure I could keep going with other similarities and differences, but these are some big ones.
⟶ What made you come up with this idea for an IF?
Ink and Intrigue is based on one of my unpublished manuscripts, though it’s vastly different in myriad ways. I took some of the worldbuilding from that story and meshed it with the world in Their Majesties’ Pleasure, and then made up an entirely new cast of characters.
⟶ What is your biggest source of inspiration? A lot of people say music, but we are interested to know what yours is.
Fantasy books, nature, and the characters who come to life in my head.
⟶ It's normal for creators of all kinds to encounter writer's block. What do you do when this formidable foe appears between you and your will to write?
I stick to my outline and keep writing, or take a break if that’s what I need. Going for a walk works wonders.
⟶ Tattoos have power in this IF; could you describe what that feeling is like? Is it like a burning sensation across your skin or more akin to releasing a breath you didn’t know you held?
The actual tattooing process is painful in this story as the dragon ink is painted on, but after the tattoos heal there’s no pain involved. It’s more like a rush of power or a tingling of awareness, depending on the strength needed. I think different mages would feel it in different ways, depending on how long they’ve been using dragon runes. The sensations might be strange to an initiate, but second nature to a master.
⟶ Tell us about your favorite ROs and why you feel drawn to them. When you were writing this character were you including traits you find ideal in partners?
I love all the ROs, but Kai is special. Partially because he’s the only character I brought over from my manuscript, and also because he’s this delicious blend of stoic, funny, driven, kind, and constantly working to better himself. I think those are ideal traits in partners. He also has other traits I enjoy in fictional characters, like a dark past and a dash of vengeance.
⟶ What’s the most important thing you consider when designing ROs?
I aim to write distinct characters who are genuinely good people, even if some are also morally gray. Otherwise, the characters basically form in my head and tell me who they are as I’m writing. I do a basic sketch when I outline, just a short description of each character, then see how they develop as the story progresses.
The characters are in charge. I’m just along for the ride.
⟶ Which RO do you think is the hardest to write and which one is the easiest?
I don’t think any were harder or easier. I had previous material for Kai, so that helped, but each character was fun and offered up plenty of dialogue and personality as I got into the story. Rae is feisty, Thea is quiet but playful, Teo is a compassionate artist, and Kai is humble and at the same time he’s one the most powerful mages on the island.
⟶ Which characters from your previous IF would get along with the cast of Ink and Intrigue?
All the main characters would get along, though there would definitely be some sparring on the training field to see who was the best fighter and blow off steam. It would be a wild party if you brought the cast from Their Majesties Pleasure together with the characters in Ink and Intrigue. That would be fun!
⟶ Could you give us an idea of the future your choices hold for Kitherin?
I don’t know how to answer this without spoilers. lol! Suffice it to say you can help the Kitherin in many different ways, including protecting from otherworldly threats and traitors within.
⟶ How do you manage the branching in your story?
The outline helps, but it still gets out of control. I write notes in future chapters as I go about how I’m going to pull each thread through to be sure I don’t drop any branching plots along the way. Editing and getting feedback is key. Beta testers to the rescue!
⟶ Was a scene exceptionally challenging to write?
It’s not like a single scene jumps out at me, but there are always places in the story where I just don’t want to write what needs to be written because I want to go on to something else that I’m excited about. There’s definitely a degree of discipline required.
⟶ Some people find it difficult to write spicy scenes. Do you have a certain mindset when writing these?
Honestly, spicy scenes are some of the hardest to write. My mindset is I’m trying to write something that has heart to it, as well as physical tension—where you can get to know the characters in a more intimate way. It can be hard to balance the art I want to bring into it with the choices and variables, as coding all those can complicate a scene that I really want to flow well. I also work hard to ensure there’s a range of spice, sweetness, and options that don’t involve physical intimacy at all, but that still feel fulfilling and special.
⟶ Would you like to give some advice to people who want to get into IF writing?
OUTLINE! Seriously. Know where you’re going and what endings you’re aiming for. Things will change, but at least you’ll have a road map. Otherwise, keep at it. Consistent practice really does pay off. Just keep going and have fun with it!
⟶ Thank you for sitting with us here today! It was lovely to have you, Leia.
My pleasure! If any of your readers are into magic tattoos and legendary love, you can play the demo of Ink and Intrigue for free!
> ONCE AGAIN HUGE THANKS TO LEIA TALON FOR SITTING WITH US AND ANSWERING OUR QUESTIONS!
~ NEW RELEASE ~
Sacred Veins is an 18+ game collective with a classic art aesthetic, creating games with focuses on narrative. They just released their first game collection: Righteous. Check out Apistis Sophia, Disiecta Membra, Heaven For A Heathen and Svipul. @sacredveinscollective
Werewolves 3: Evolution’s End (CScript) is the third installment of Jeffrey Dean’s acclaimed “Claw, Shadow, and Sage” series. After years of conspiracies, secrets, and escalation, the fight has finally come out into the open.
A (self-proclaimed) heartwarming visual novel about spending the days with your dog. Mugi-chan was abandoned at the shrine; now it's time to take him home! You can now play the un-official English release of I Can't Be Human (TyranoScript).
Légumes de saison (Decker) is a compilation of two games - 1 Duck, 2 Ducks and 33 // Apocalypse : Le Banquet.
You wake up in an unknown room with no memories of your past. With nothing, you must research, find and choose to find the way out from here in Silent Perception (Ren’Py).
Protect Mina from haters and find the recipe for the most delicious secret dish in Mina’s Cooking.
As always, don't forget to check out the submitted entries to the events mentioned in the previous pages. They deserve some love too!
~ NEW RELEASE (WIP) ~
Kassja is ill, and being too weak her village throws her into the forest. Yet, as she is dying under the scorching sun that trespasses the greenery, the spirit patron hears her hateful prayer of death for those who used to be her folk. Check out The Rerooting of an Asphodel (Ren’Py)! @thebreezyslothstudios
In The Chronicles of Salt and Iron (CScript) you’re trapped on an Iron prisoner ship after incurring the Triad’s wrath. Your future seems bleak, until a freak disaster grants you a new chance at freedom…and a glimpse of a deadly secret that could topple the entire regime.
In Fortune Forsaken (CScript) ancient shackles bind you to the mortal realm, a soul severed from a home lost to the sands of time. A curse on you, a blessing for those who take command; Who wouldn't like to own a God? @fortuneforsaken-if
The Lost Bride (CScript) is a reimagining of Bram Stoker’s iconic novel, Dracula. Play as Mina and shape her fate as she visits her childhood friend Lucy, who’s seeking her company and counsel with an urgent matter concerning her very own future.
King Arthur: Living Again (CScript) - After being badly injured by Mordred, King Arthur finds himself as his 15-year-old, inexperienced self.
As you learn the ways of the criminal underground you reconnect with people you never met. Reforge bonds that you've never made. And recall memories you've never had. You were a god once upon a time, can you become one again in God Syndicate (CScript)? @god-syndicate-if
~ UPDATES ~
Blackwood Manor (CScript) released Chapter 2 Part 1. @ang3lwithapen
The Sunhold Coven (CScript) released Chapter 3. @the-sunhold-coven
Vanguard (Twine) updated Chapter 1. @vanguard-if
A Shriek of Ash and Fire (CScript) released update no. 5. @krogpile
Haunted (Twine) updated a final part of a rewrite.
Honor Amongst Thieves (CScript) added extra content to their Patreon demo. @leoneliterary
Hubris (Twine) updated Chapter Two- Luminary Fever. @hubris-the-if-game
Reincarnation Of The Archdemon (CScript) released Chapter 2.
Sanguine Sky (CScript) added new content to their Patreon demo. @sanguinesky-if
The In-Between (CScript) released Chapter 11 for early access. @dalekowrites
Thicker Than (CScript) released their monthly update. @barbwritesstuff
Viatica (Twine) released Chapter 11. @fir-fireweed
Universal Constants (Twine) released Episode 3.
Keeper of Life and Death (CScript) updated their demo. @keeperofthesunandmoon
Fallen Hero: Revelations (CScript) updated their demo.
Weeping Gods (CScript) added new content to Chapter 2. @jcollinswrites
Tri City Monsters (Ren’Py) released Amir Chapter 3. @tricitymonsters
~ OTHER ~
A collection of high resolution artworks from the game Chronicles of Taldun: The Remainder is here.
The VNture podcast is back with episode #124.
~
As always, we apologize in advance for missing any update or release from the past week. We are only volunteers using their limited free time to find as much as we can - but sometimes things pass through the cracks.
If you think something should have been included in this week's zine but did not appear, please shoot us a message! We'll do our best to add it next week! And if you know oncoming news, add it here!
~ MAYBE YOU NEXT? ~
We did not get a submission this week. But if you have an idea for a short essay, or would like a special space to share your thoughts about IF and the community...
Shoot us an email!
~ HIGHLIGHT ON ~
A couple of games that we thought were cool.
Dominion of Darkness by Adeptus7 (Twine)
"Dominion of Darkness” is a strategy text game in which the player takes on the role of a Sauron-style Lord of Darkness with the goal of conquering the world.
Vendetta by @vendetta-if (CScript)
*drum rolls* for the game highlight!!!!! Vendetta by @ vendetta-if !!! THIS IF IS FANTASTIC! DESERVES SO MUCH MORE LOVE 💖👏
//submitted by anon//
Apistis Sophia by @sacredveinscollective (???)
Whew, this one is an experience and I loved everything about it!
A big thank you to the anon who brought our attention to Sacred Veins and their work!
//recommended by Dion [Team]//
Your favourite game here?
Do you have a favourite game that deserves some highlighting?
An old or recent game that wowed you so much you spam it to everyone?
Tell us about it! And it might appear here!
WE LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU ALL! WHETHER IT'S GOOD OR BAD, OR EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN...
Have something to say? Send us a message titled: Zine Letter!
As we end this issue, we would like to thank:
our awesome anon!
For sending us their game Highlight!
As always, huge thanks to all you readers who liked, shared, and commented on the last issue!
What might be tiny actions are huge support and motivators to us!
Thank you for cheering us on this journey
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Would you like to know more about the Team? Check out our new Meet the Team post!
And see you again next week!
AJ, DION, BRIAR, JEN AND PETER
WHAT'S NEW IN IF? 2024-ISSUE 29
#NEW ISSUE IS OUT!!#interactive fiction#if news#visual novel#parser#choice of games#choicescript#twine#ink#twine games#ink games#itch.io#interactive game#interactive novel#IF#games#hobby#indie dev#choose your own adventure#if-whats-new#What's New in IF#zine
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Good morning, Queerstake! Thank you to everyone joining us for our community fast and letter writing campaign in response to the 2024 Church Handbook update with regards to transgender people. The policy update has shaken all of us. It is exclusionary and degrading. But we will find strength in each other as a community and courage in our efforts to effect change in this church that belongs not only to the General Authorities who authorized this policy update but also to all of us. Change in the Church happens from the ground up. Harmful policies have been issued and redacted before in our own lifetimes! We deserve to be treated with respect.
Today, we will fast together as a community that the Lord softens the hearts of the First Presidency. We will also write and send letters expressing our grief. Please don’t be quiet about your feelings today. Share your heartbreak with as many of your fellow ward and Queerstake members as you feel comfortable doing. Please post your feelings as well so we can inspire and uplift each other as we write our letters. It’s important that our grievances are heard.
Please send physical letters to:
The Office of the First Presidency
47 East South Temple Street
Salt Lake City, UT 84150
If you are unable to send a paper letter to Salt Lake, because I was not able to find an appropriate email, please instead email your letters to me at [email protected]. I’ll print and mail them myself.
Edit: @nerdygaymormon found an email address! Please feel free to send email to [email protected]. However, you are still more than welcome to send them to me to print. In fact, why not do both!
A quick word of caution: Of course, no one can guarantee the type of responses we might receive for these letters. In fact, I urge you to consider using a pseudonym in order to avoid potential church discipline. Please take care to note what legal name or return address might be associated with your membership records. I don’t want to scare anyone, especially because we’re doing nothing wrong, but it’s always good to be very aware of what might make it back to your bishop.
Thank you again to everyone for joining. I’ve always felt so supported and uplifted by Queerstake. I know that our Heavenly Parents love us just as we are and that they don’t want us excluded and humiliated in our wards. We have unique and valuable testimonies to share. We don’t go unheard by our Heavenly Parents.
I’ve included a few sample letters and templates below the cut for people who might need a shortcut for one reason or another. You are welcome to send them verbatim or modify them.
#1
Dear First Presidency,
I'm writing to express my grief and concern over the 2024 handbook policy update on transgender people.
I believe that Christ invites all to come unto him and that as Christ's church, we have a responsibility to embrace people from all walks of life. No other demographic within the church is being treated with such severity as our transgender siblings under this new policy. I fear our transgender siblings in Christ will feel excluded and degraded, and we will lose many great members.
I believe it's of the utmost importance that we express Christlike love and charity even to people we don't understand. There is no excuse for asking transgender youth to leave activities with their peers as though they are a danger. There is no excuse for not allowing transgender people to work with children or humiliating them in our bathrooms. This is a demographic of people who have suffered in our society and Christ would want us to reach out to them with open arms. I humbly and respectfully ask that you reconsider these policy changes with regards to the doctrine of unconditional love that the church espouses. I beg you to consider the church experience of our transgender siblings in Christ and to prioritize their feelings over the feelings of people that wish to hurt them.
Thank you for your time.
#2
Dear First Presidency,
I feel deeply grieved by the Handbook update on transgender people. As a transgender member myself, I am doing everything I can to remain in the church and exclusionary policies like these make me feel deeply unwanted and deeply unloved.
I understand very well the church's position on gender, but I hope that despite that position that I might still be able to feel Christ's love at church. Our Heavenly Parents put me on this or Earth as a transgender person. I am not a danger to children and I am not a predator in bathrooms. I am your sibling in Christ. I want to serve in church. I want to serve in teaching positions. I want to serve the youth. I believe that we attend church with the purpose of uplifting each other and studying our religion together as a ward family. I want to be edified and I want to edify.
President Hinckley said every member needs a calling, a friend, and the word of God, and if I'm treated this way at church, I'm not receiving any of those things. If I can't have a real role to play within my ward, then I have no responsibility. If I am treated as an outsider and an enemy and a predator by policy and by my fellow church members, then I don't have a friend. If I can't also receive Christ's gospel through the love of the people around me, then I'm not receiving the real word of the Lord.
I seriously urge you to reconsider this policy update. I beg you on behalf of myself and my transgender siblings in the church to not hate us and to not exclude us.
Thank you for your time.
#3
Dear First Presidency,
I felt ______ when I heard about the new policy update to the handbook about transgender individuals. I believe we should treat our transgender members with the love and respect they deserve as our siblings in Christ.
I urge you to reconsider this policy update because ______
Thank you for your time.
#4
Dear Leadership of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints,
I'm writing to express my grief and concern over the 2024 handbook policy update on transgender people, which I have been made aware of due to the negative impact it is having on my [friend(s)/family/loved ones].
The reputation of love, kindness, and family values that your church fosters with its programs, teachings, and community outreach is undermined by your continued exclusion of LGBT+ members and specifically with this policy change of your transgender members.
My [friend(s)/family/loved ones] have expressed _____ in regards to the August 19, 2024 changes to the handbook that relegate transgender members of your church to second-class citizens within the organization, and deny them the full capacity of worship and belonging within your church; all because of something so insignificant to their capacity to worship and belong to a community as their gender being different than the gender that they were assigned at birth. This decision _____ me/ negatively impacts my view of your church.
Thank you for your time.
I believe that there is no excuse for asking transgender youth to leave activities with their peers as though they are a danger. There is no excuse for not allowing transgender people to work with children or humiliating them in your bathrooms. This is a demographic of people who have suffered in our society and I believe that every person needs to reach out to them with open arms. I respectfully ask that you reconsider these policy changes with regards to the doctrine of unconditional love that the church espouses. I beg you to consider the church experience of your transgender members and to prioritize their feelings over the feelings of people that wish to hurt them.
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youve got a lot of really great thoughts on a transphobia and homophobia, tbh more critical thinking than most people on here, and i was wondering how much you knew about the theory of rapid onset gender dysphoria/if youd be comfortable sharing your thoughts on the ridiculous idea
It was explicitly invented by transphobes as a means of delegitimizing trans identity, and that invention was backed up by a "study" in which the person running the study never spoke to any trans people or to any professionals providing care for trans people, only spoke to the parents of trans minors, and those parents were specifically recruited from forums for anti-trans parents.
The paper which supposedly coined ROGD was taken down for a while and corrected. Further studies have found no basis for ROGD.
What's really interesting is in the cache of emails which became public earlier this year from a former detransitioner there's a paper trail which pretty clearly indicates that the term was actually created on a very heinous website called 4th/wave/now (forgive my anti-search slashes, these people are awful) well prior to the study.
Hey, you want to guess where the parents for this study were recruited from? If you guessed "the one where the term was invented," you're right!
But wait, there's more!
It appears from the journalistic work done by Mother Jones, Jude Doyle, and Julia Serano, that this term was created by an anti-trans activist who works extensively with right-wing think tanks and who went to great lengths to hide that she invented the term.
Jude Doyle:
Finding anti-trans narratives that would “sell” to the general public was a constant concern for this crowd, and Shupe says it didn’t much matter if the narratives were based in fact or not. Marchiano, for instance, eagerly watched the spread of the ROGD theory — “[transfeminist writer and researcher Julia] Serano has already written a takedown,” she exulted in one August 2018 email. Shupe suspects Marchiano’s role is larger than the public knows: “Marchiano never explicitly said she is the inventor of ROGD, but the evidence points to her, and she’s listed as a contributor to the [Lisa Littman] study on PLOS One,” she writes to me. “My ‘opinion’ is that Marchiano and the 4thWaveNow folks are behind the ROGD study, and Littman merely fronted it for them to make it appear unbiased.”
Jude Doyle again:
On July 2, Shupe sent Marchiano a link to Jones’ blog post telling her “you’ve upset Zinnia again.” (Shupe had a tendency to send Marchiano news of ROGD, and to attribute the theory to “you” — that is, to Marchiano — whether Marchiano was explicitly named or not. In the communications I’ve reviewed, Marchiano does not reject the attribution.) Marchiano responded by saying that Jones had done something to “make her nervous” — namely, she’d dug up a blog post about ROGD that Marchiano had written under her own name.
Julia Serano:
If all of this is true — that Marchiano ran YCTP and invented ROGD — then it would follow that Marchiano was also likely skepticaltherapist, the supposed parent of a trans child who invented the idea of “transgender social contagion” in the first place.
Julia Serano again:
Also on March 15, 2016, at 6:07am (so very early in the day, likely before the aforementioned YTCP piece is published), skepticaltherapist posts her final comment on 4thwavenow before mysteriously disappearing. In a reply to someone named Starrymessenger, skepticaltherapist says: 'I wanted to mention that this month’s Psychotherapy Networker is focusing on trans youth issues, and the tone of each article is uncritically celebratory — lots of mentions of “courage,” and “bravery.” You may need a subscription or at least an account to comment, but I have so far.'
At the time of this comment, "Lisa" is the *only* person to have posted a comment on this particular Psychotherapy Networker article, as the 2nd comment doesn't appear until later that evening (7:30:15 PM on March 15th; both 4thwavenow & Psychotherapy Networker appear to be based in the U.S., so the should be only a few hours apart, if at all). Therefore, "Lisa" and skepticaltherapist must be the same person.
Did you catch all of that?
This is a fraudulent "diagnosis" explicitly invented by an anti-trans psychologist who at times has used sockpuppets to manipulate online conversations, claimed at times to be the mother of a trans child, or maybe it was her friend who had the trans child, or maybe she just knew somebody who just randomly decided he was a trans boy after going on tumblr. (Boy, does Lisa Marchiano hate Tumblr, lol.)
After inventing this diagnosis and pushing it on a forum for parents who don't like that they have trans kids, Marchiano then approaches a different researcher and uses this other researcher to launder this term, launching it into the verbal stratosphere, while explicitly working with right-wing groups who used this "evidence" to manufacture anti-trans bills. This list of right-wing groups and individuals includes the Alliance Defending Freedom, the "American College of Pediatricians," -- not to be confused with the American Academy of Pediatrics, the legitimate organization, ACPeds is a fringe right-wing group.
They literally made all of this up, this idea that transmasculine people specifically are being "infected" by online sources, and then they laundered it through a shitty study and tried to hide the laundering they did, so that shit like this can happen:
The president of the American Principles Project, a member of the coalition, recently told the New York Times that his group’s goal is to eliminate all transition care, starting with children because that’s “where the consensus is.”
This isn't about protecting children or any bullshit like that, and it's not about this fallacious "disorder" because it doesn't exist -- and they know it doesn't exist. They know it doesn't exist because they were the ones who made it up.
Like... what else is there to say? It's like if I made up Purple Big Toe Disease and claimed that all people taller than 5'10" and born on a Tuesday have Purple Big Toe Disease and should not be able to buy aspirin, because it's G-d's plan that people who have Purple Big Toe Disease should not prevent themselves from feeling the pain that G-d has planned for them, and then I asked someone to write a paper about PBTD and pretend I wasn't the one who made it up so I could point at the paper and be like le gasp, PBTD is the number one problem! We need to stop everyone over 5'10" and born on a Tuesday from being able to buy aspirin! And then some dude in South Dakota starts writing up bills in consultation with a bunch of Evangelical lawyers to deny basic health care to people over 5'10" and born on Tuesdays.
If it sounds fucking ridiculous, it's because it is.
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Double edit: actually, that's enough of that.
Edit: I was expecting maybe thirty notes tops. This is a surprise, and one that doesn't delight me. If I hear about any harassment stemming from this post, I'll be more pissed at the harasser than the person this is about.
God. Dammit.
I hate this, let's just out that out there! I'm unhappy that I'm talking about any of this, I'm unhappy there's an issue that's come up at the intersection of media preservation, respecting authors, and one of my favorite book series. And I'm unhappy that I've censored the names in the screenshots I'm about ti post! I'm not happy that I'm helping to slide consequences away from someone who thought this was an acceptable thing to do to a modern working author. But I'm even less happy this is something that happened in the first place, and I'm VERY unhappy the original post has been deleted without a whisper of accountability or apology.
And here's a partial screenshot of the IA page, which has since been removed. I get the excitement to share something you love with a new audience. This isn't the right way to go about it.
First, if Martha Wells' patreon is still in place, I encourage everyone in the strongest possible terms to go sign up for it. It'll charge you one dollar. I've been a member since probably 2018, and I mistakenly believed it was locked to new members (it's labeled 'Currently Closed To New Patrons') until I had reason to look it up last night, when I tripped across this reddit post from earlier this year.
Now. I was looking it up because of this sudden patreon message:
Even if the patreon goes away, I still recommend that people sign up. Explore the stories! They're very fun! Even though the patreon has been dormant for years, I've loved having that repository in place.
In fact, in the interest of full disclosure, what kept me from immediately reblogging last night is that I've felt the same archival urges! I bound a hard copy of these stories earlier this year, and let me quote my own words from that post:
I live in a state of perpetual low key stress over the impermanence of digital media and that goes extra for sites that aren’t designed to work well as archives. I hope, desperately, that someday Martha Wells publishes more raksura, maybe even including these stories! I will buy it immediately. No thoughts, wallet empty. I own all her other raksura books in literally three formats, fingers crossed that by printing this, I can actualize a formal official printing of these stories by the author 😂
So. Archiving, yes. But especially with a living, working author, I would never DREAM of posting a public free-for-all with IA and mediafire links. My most charitable interpretation is that OP thought it was fine since the stories were "free," even though the writeups acknowledge that access costs a dollar. Ao3 is also free. Reposting someone else's fic is still understood to be a dick move.
Last night i was left kind of stunned, and I was hoping to see some kind of response from op this morning taking responsibility, and was... disappointed to see that the post was just deleted. The IA listing was deleted too, and I hadn't actually looked up the mediafire post yet but I'm guessing it's also been nuked. Out of curiosity, I wanted to see if there was anything more in the comments, so I found a surviving reblog. And there was!
So I'm writing this post because I'm... frustrated. Taking down the files is a good step. Posting them publicly was a worse step, but hey. I still more than understand if Martha Wells still deletes her patreon. I don't understand what sending her files of her own stories is meant to accomplish, but whatever. Ascribing a profit-driven motive is driving me up a wall, though. She's financially stable. I read her email, and what i see is frustration that even though it only cost a dollar to access 62k of her work through her own chosen location, control of her writing is being forcibly removed from her. I'm sure that seeing copies sold by third parties wouldn't help, but I don't think that's the root issue.
This is a fandom-heavy website, I'm sure most of us have seen posts about not reposting art when you can share directly from the artist's blog. I've seen posts about stop copying your ao3 faves over to wattpad just because you like reading there better. At a fundamental level, I read the message from Martha Wells as a deep frustration at having no way to share her creative work without someone removing control of it from her hands. And I don't know if there's any way to really take back that damage.
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An analysis of Moonflower and the owners of Gardenview:
Dandy x Astro, our favorite toxic yaoi couple. Even if you see them as just friends, you’ve got to admit, their dynamic is ripe with potential.
Then there’s Arthur and Delilah, two lesser known Dandy’s World characters. For those who don’t know, Delilah and Arthur took out a loan together and started Gardenview Educational Center. They are the owners of the building and (supposedly) created the toons as well.
But I wonder, could their relationship be a parallel to Dandy and Astro’s? Let’s talk about it!
Astro and Dandy have been close since the beginning. They were two of the first toons, created along with the other mains in 1988.
Not only that, but they seem to have been friends in the show as well. Even if you don’t ship them, it’s clear that they were close with each other.
Arthur and Delilah also seem to be close friends. The first interaction we get between them is when they sign a loan together in 1984, presumably the money they use to start Gardenview. While a loan isn’t very interesting, you probably wouldn’t want to sign a loan with any random person on the street, so they were probably pretty close even before then.
Arthur doesn’t fully understand what Delilah is doing or how she brings the toons to life, but he trusts her. They’ve seemingly been friends for a while, and he really, truly trusts her. She’s never failed him before!
And then the issues arise. After a while, things begin to change. Dandy starts acting differently, and so does Delilah. In 2002, Gardenview is shut down due to lack of regulations as well as something called the “malfunction incident.” When questioned about these things, Arthur remained quiet, and there’s no mention of Delilah being questioned at all.
She stays completely quiet about everything. It seems the only person she talks to about it is Arthur, and even then, she denies knowing anything about it. He asks and asks to talk with her again, but it’s unclear if she ever fulfills that request.
The language he uses here is especially interesting to me. He seems suspicious of her, frustrated and confused. But it almost seems like he’s nervous about calling her out, he’s hurt that she didn’t talk to him. He seems less angry at her and more concerned or worried. His tone is demanding, as if he’s had enough, but it’s not bossy. He’s still polite, almost friendly as he asks to speak with her again.
Before, their letters seemed busy, rushed, hasty. They were too busy running Gardenview to send emails or have long conversations in person, scrawling silly notes and messages to each other instead. Delilah seemed demanding of him, ordering him to bring her more coffee and send her more reference pictures, but it didn’t seem malicious then.
Now though, Gardenview is closed. Arthur has all the time in the world to compose a nervous letter to her, questioning their friendship and if she’s trustworthy. Before he blindly trusted her, but now he finally realizes something is wrong. He’s not hurriedly scrawling a letter and dropping it by her office because he’s too busy to talk in person, he’s writing to her because he doesn’t feel like he can talk to her. Their friendship is falling apart.
Doesn’t all of this sound familiar? It sounds just like Astor and Dandy’s relationship, starting as friends (or lovers) and slowly falling apart.
Astro only mentions Dandy by name once, in his dialogue with Pebble. He says he’s worried about Dandy. However, there is one more interesting piece of dialogue, his dialogue with Teagan.
Teagan: "Astro, are you still talking with... Him?"
Astro: "Yes... well, sometimes... not as often..."
Teagan: "Goodness Astro, you need to make up your mind!"
Astro: "...Sorry."
Now, many people think the “Him” is Dandy, and i agree. It doesn’t really make sense for it to be anybody else, unless it’s a character we haven’t been introduced to, but that would be kind of dumb.
This shows that Astro still feels some attachment to him. He knows he shouldn’t be talking to Dandy anymore, but after all the time they’ve spent together (and all the manipulation, probably) he just can’t bring himself to cut ties completely, similar to Arthur.
Another interesting thing is the requirements you need to fulfill to buy Astro. To buy Astro, you have to have seen twisted Dandy. To BE Astro, you have to have seen twisted Dandy. Which makes me wonder: is that important to the lore? Has Astro actually seen Dandy in his twisted form? And if so, how much does he truly know? Does he understand the full extent of what he saw? Or is that why he’s so worried about Dandy, because he’s seen his true form and doesn’t understand why the person he’s been friends with for so long is now suddenly so different, why Dandy is suddenly hiding things from him.
That all ties back in to Arthur and Delilah as well. Arthur references how Delilah “had to have known something like this could have happened to him.” Yet another mysterious him, and I wonder: Could Arthur have seen twisted Dandy as well? Maybe that’s what he’s referring to in his letter. Delilah built the toons, she owns the building, she oversees everything! And if Arthur couldn’t explain what was happening, there’s only one person who could.
This leads into a theory I’ve mentioned before: Dandy wasn’t the true mastermind behind the ichor operation. Once, he was normal, he was kind. But Delilah, his creator, basically a god to him, began to corrupt him with ichor and turn him into a twisted. Perhaps they even worked together. After all, how would Dandy know how to corrupt everybody by himself? How would he get his hands on this mysterious “ichor”? With the help of a human.
The relationship shipping potential here is amazing! Imagine the struggle Astro would go through, the struggle of knowing that his lover, the one person who had been with him through it all had been corrupted by a monster. And what if the real Dandy is still in there somewhere? Watching helplessly as his body worked on its own, hurting everyone he loved.
Even if you don’t like shipping it’s tragic! Poor Astro, having to decide between his best friend’s trust and everyone else’s safety. Maybe that’s why the game references him frowning so much, he keeps worrying about Dandy, to the point he can’t even put a smile on for the kids. And poor Arthur as well: I can’t help but wonder what happened to him. Did he cut ties with Delilah? Did she manipulate her way back into his life? Is he even alive?
Let me know what you all think, I never see anyone talk about this and it drives me crazy! Arthur and Delilah are such clear parallels to Dandy and Astro, their names even start with the same letters!
#dandys world#dandy’s world#dandys world astro#dandys world dandy#dandys world delilah#dandys world arthur#moonflower#dandy x astro
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