#people spreading lies and fiction of fear | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cutieeva · 3 months ago

Note

Omg, that last fic you just wrote, omg 😭😭, I was like, wowww!! And then the end say 'to be continued', I legit just cried reading that, I need more of this please, you can't stop at that 😭 . Anyways your fic is always good and I love reading it when there is a new update 🥹

Sun

Female reader

Warnings : Love bombing. Manipulation. Bullying.

⌜Aww, thank you dearie for loving my fiction. It's warms my heart to know you enjoy and here, it is the second chapter⌟

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒

Life is full of unexpected surprises and she could had never assumed his approach in her life as well as his lies and motives. Is giving second chance to the same man broken your heart the right decision ?

Cameron and (Y/N) both went to the same high school. Separately not together. There is a vivid difference, they might shared the same high school, same year, same section even shared same desk however they never shared words let alone looks because way before they both knew they will share an romantic bond, one thing was clear to her that he was the sun and is the sun to this day. Before these university students knew him or even met him, (Y/N) recognize him just from his mere name, a name so unforgettable, so different it made people crank their neck and once look at the said boy's face to be beyond satisfied, it lure people in more than they already were like sun does and thankfully she wasn't one of them in her high school time because he didn't wanted to lure her, catch her attention. She vaguely remembers how in the class he didn't spare a glance at her as if she was never present, a ghost of once lived person that's how she was treated by Cameron unlike by other students who knew her, liked her including her friends who she had to farewell to attend in the current university she is in. It was a very bittersweet emotions, full of fear and new possibility to come and one of those possibility Cameron was never even a suspect.

The popular boy, the sun of the school also succeed becoming the heart of campus within a span of months, like each passing person wrapped around his fingers and she could see why, his personality down to earth, no necessary fights, teacher's golden boy and rarely a showoff why would he ? when his causal go to shoes, watches, dress are more than enough to recognize from one look. A independent money maker makes his own brand by money but people born with money are the brand. No in-between she believes yet she never envies or wanted it because as much as she knew money buys everything even happiness because one of the choices it buys is where happiness lies along consequences, misery, stress, fakeness so she is content with her life, walking though her major classes holding books and studying hard to pass like others, blending into faces of others and ever once catching glimpse into the heart of campus boy circled by his friend groups, all laughing, enjoying. Looking genuine picture perfect friendship she yearn back recalling her own tore friendships due to decreased calls, different schedule and distance. In here, she is a loner, studier. Well, to think of the brighter side she has her twenty-four seven hour privacy, assignments submit on time and grades better than one another and on weekends have time to spend with parents.

"Today chapter 8 will be studied.." She tailed off sitting on the first row of her classroom with few more students on their seats, her eyes focus on the chapter they will be studying which she already did and even though it went over her head, at least she is prepared however thinking of the teacher makes her regret seating on the first row. What if he asks her questions ? and embarrass her in front of everyone and be the jester of their cruel joke for a week or two until a new comes ? No, (Y/N) isn't here to be remembered so her hands jumbly grab her spread belongings and went to the last row and sit on the corner where the teacher might have problem spotting her like a shark smelling for blood because of his near-sighted vision.

A sigh pass her lips, feeling less anxiety. Anxiety ? her mood sombre of how once people grow and shed their childhood lives into adulthood, it also earn new things like anxiety she never had before. What a life. Another sigh pass her lips.

"You are sighing a lot for someone so studious". The sound of his voice, both gentle and jarring made her jump with surprise. Her mind knew who it was to turn her head to face the Cameron she never knew would be talking to her, sparing a glance. Her wide eyes met his daze ones, his head rest on his shoulder on the desk like his sleeping was disturbed.

"I am sorry". She mumble not knowing why she had.

"It's okay, so ?" A yawn escape his lips.

"So ?" Her voice quiet yet the room quieter she was afraid her heart racing could be heard. It was his time to sigh now, slowly sitting up only to lean back in his chair.

"Why did you come from the front to back ?" His gaze lazy and voice husky.

"I thought you were sleeping". Her words escape more than she could allow.

"I was not, only laying". He shrug his shoulders. "Resting". Tiredly he announced making her head nod. "So ?" (Y/N) gulp, licking her lips, suddenly a stranger to talks perhaps the person not be the heart of campus without difficulty she would answer.

"I was scared for the professor to ask me question and I do not want to be embarrassed by not knowing the answer". She doesn't know if his constant nods were for understanding or a show.

"So, even a studious person is fearful ?" A smile tug his lips like the tugs inside her heart. Did she never notice how handsome he is while smiling. Wait, her mind pause for a second questioning how he knew of her existence, yes at first she notice the word but repeating it makes him appear he knows her.

"How do you know I am studious ?" Was the question inappropriate ? laughable ? because why is he chuckling like she said a joke ? maybe he notice her confusion too for him to cough and hide the unhidden blooming smile.

"Everybody knows you. Yes, you think cool kids are popular". His both hand's fingers quote. "But smart kids are also known, where you also fall in that". Oh. Really ? then why no one forward a hand to be her friend she desire to ask but refrained.

"Okay". At her quiet voice he nod his head and her eyes concentrate back to the chapter she left earlier, feeling her skin burn under his gaze. For the entire time until professor Martin came did she felt relief to breath after his watchful gaze was taken off, gulping hard and head decking a little to not caught the professor's eye.

"Good morning class, let's start the new chapter, shall we ?" The students clearly with lack of energy spoke yes in unison satisfying the professor who's eyes scan the page for a minute.

"Here it comes". Her fingers cross, heart ratting against her cage.

"Because this chapter is almost like a squeal of before chapter, how about I ask how much you remember chapter 7 ?" a sadistic smile appear on his lips with his eyes searching a prey to relief his stess of personal life. "Hey you !" His finger pointed to her and her heart paused, breath halted and soul whisk outside of body.

"Yes ! You boy". Huh ? Her eyes narrow slightly realizing the finger is actually pointed to Cameron, not her. How grateful to god she is biting back a smile yet feeling sympathy for him. Cameron smile standing up.

"Explain your feeling of this art movement". The professor asked pointing to the art display on the huge projector. (Y/N) saw the painting and her curious mind desire to know his answer.

Confidently Cameron spoke "It's a revolutionary paradigm shift, sir! It'll unlock the secrets of the human psyche, tap into our collective unconscious, and reveal the meaning of life!" Her jaw dropped and the professor's harden.

"What !" Her eyes stare at his side face.

"It's a style of wallpaper design from the 1970s. You've been reading too much into the patterns". Dryly Martin said. "I asked your feelings about the painting not analysis". The silent class bust out into laughter yet (Y/N)'s ears notice the laughs aren't biting, harsh, even mocking rather the opposite she experienced with her friends if she said a dad joke. A mellow comforting it was just like he is, smiling sheepily as if he isn't even ashamed.

"Mr. Clerk—".

"You know me sir ?" A forced sigh left the professor being cut off.

"Do. Not. Dare. Cut. Me. Off". Slowly he warned, his lips curving to the letters like he wants to slap the young lad with it causing Cameron comically make a zip his lips only to increase the laughter from the students. "Also in collage here is no student or teacher not heard of you".

Professor glaring directly. "So, Mr. Clerk, may I know why a business student is in my art class ? It's a far different class to be lost". Bemused his voice was. Right, (Y/N) realize how never did she met him so close before because their majors are completely different.

Her eyes slide up to flinch meeting his.

"He is staring at me". A strange sensation slit her body inside. The bright blazing eyes of his bored into without the intention of looking away.

The aged voice clearly losing thread of patience. "Mr. Clark, eyes on me". She look down in fear of getting caught.

"Think of it to study with my crush". Her heart skip a beat feeling his eyes still heat her skin abnormally. "Sir". He added finally taking the gaze to the aged man.

Groaning the teacher. "Make sure to not fail". Defeated the older man roll his eyes knowing serious answer won't be earned out of him. Or was it really a serious answer (Y/N) wondered for some reason glancing to see him sit before averting to resume her study like the teacher.

As usual her mind focus, eyes on information to soak and finger holding pen to copy any important notes however what unusual she feels is his occasional asking questions of few things. How distant was she to forget the interaction with strangers ? Or maybe his presence cause her react differently.

Watching his polite, humble and funny side from so close, so near she almost felt she could see the sun directly without being blind as writing a tiny smile curve to her lips having someone beside her, not alone.

"Okay then, see you tomorrow". The professor left holding his belongings looking as if he fought a war and (Y/N) strech her stiff shoulders and begin packing when a figure towered over her in front of her desk. From below her (E/C) eyes saw the familar black shirt he wore with jacket.

"What is your name ?" Her hands halted as her eyes look at him through her lashes.

"Why you ask ?" She returned with an question.

"Because I want to ask you a favor".

"What is it ?"

"Well, I want to do arts and I am terrible at it knowing my course is business but you know, there is a thing called burned out ? So I wanna try something new yet need a person to help me...". He tailed off, gazing sideways himself and he didn't need to finish when it reach her.

He needs her to be his tutor.

"I am average myself. You should ask the top student". She suggested, zip the chain with a click.

"But I am comfortable with you only". He blurt her and stole her breath. "Also I saw you today, your skills are good, really good". He awkwardly compliment, smiling as he himself, the campus of the heart is shy. How strange, She thought seeing a side she never knew would be towards her.

"Okay". She agree not seeing any reasons not to unaware along opening the gates of her life, she opened her heart too.

They exchange numbers and decide to study at liberty checking their schedule and part ways. Her mood was cherrier, happier feeling a step closer being with someone, knowing a new person regardless of their popularity walking through the halls to reach her next session.

BANG !

Her heart jumped on her throat despite used to hear them everyday, the vivid jerking, banging was usual, a daily occurrence she wish wasn't. Her (E/C) eyes went to the owner of the sound— four boys surround another boy slamming his body like a ragdoll to the metal bars, depriving pleasure from the boy who's blood trickle from his forehead painting a gut-wrenching scene she was forced to look away, walking without a second thought, like a coward, an accomplish.

But what could she do ? she won't be the first to complaint, forward a hand and become next target of the gang, the leader— Adrien, his face flash her mind, sending a sour taste on her lips knowing the information he is one of the many friends of Cameron. Despite never involving with the bullying himself, he never stood to retaliate either however then again the bullying never happen in his prescene always his lack of.

"Was it good to be closer to him ?" Hate the sin, never the sinner. A saying her mother speak frequently which she disagree with also in this case Cameron isn't even the sinner so pushing him, judging him without knowing him isn't it harsh ? Stop. Stop. focus on study. She remind to divert from a dilemma that isn't even hers to choose.

The next classes were at ease as she focus on her studies and went to home only to receive a text message from him reminding her of their beginning of the sessions. A nervous shudder pass her spine and doubts creeping her whether she will reach his expectation making her study extra hard not to disappoint.

Day 1

She smiling, held her book tightly to her chest walk to her period. Her eyes glance at the window to stare at the burning sun and suddenly she thought "How pretty it is". Before flinching.

A deafening unpleasant noise shudder her body as she stop in her tracks. She open her eyes daring to look at the direction of the noise she knew was their bullying however she stopped herself. It's none of her business and she rather like not getting involved walked away as always, this time gulit worse because she feels like a remorseless person left without sparing a glance. Cruel. Cruel and selfish she is so are others she felt.

"It's okay. Study". Convincing herself mentally she went inside the class drowning in studies and like a cool breeze of summer time pass along classes when she stretch her hands finally catching a break when a notification catch her attention.

"Could you meet now to study ?" She didn't had to look who and beyond happiness she collect her belongings walking to the library after typing "Yes". And there she found him sitting turning the white pages of book by his slender pale fingers. The sun's ray behind him like a halo of angel glowed him and in the bluest sky of white birds flew above his head he looked nothing less than a dream, a beautiful dream her heart strings tug hard and fingers twitch to capture the heavenly moment.

"How beautiful he is". For a motal daring to merely look at the sun is a blessing she felt. Unaware it burns those same eyes too. Naïve little girl she could hear her grandmother scold. Beautiful faces have the most wicked hearts a saying her grandmother learnt and passed to her who ignored walking near him and sat earning those onyx eyes on her and a grin on his lips.

"Shall we start ?" She nod happily, teaching him the best she can, answering his each question patiently, clearly even sometimes using visuals to understand the topic more clearly and like a good guy he is, nod, doing as he is told, correcting his mistakes with apologizes and thinking with his brain not his ego. Slipping some compliments too pulling small smiles and chuckle out of her.

Their study session was at ease the buzz of time limit alarmed her because the ticks of clock melt like water in their moments she couldn't realize how much time pass. Seem it surprise even him.

"See, I told you. I am comfortable with you". Grinning he proved a point she didn't even considered.

"I can see". Smiling, her finger pad press the red circle of stop on the alarm. "Also for a beginner you are great. Beyond average". Honestly she said, a lace of envy hidden underneath. How could it not when a beginner like him is better than she was sinking another realization how some people are born genius, exceptional to ace anything.

"No, nothing like that". He was quick to shut the praises, his brows furrow so is hers. She tilt her head.

"Why ? It's brilliant". His shinning onyx eyes bore into hers.

"It's alright". He shrug, still denying the great art he done. A art better than most of her art peers.

"Well.." Biting her lips, her fingers took the sheet of paper. "Yes, it's alright than most of the seasoned artist including me but look at the way you draw it in your first time with the lighting, shading, coloring. I think it's marvelous". She look at him and his thin pressed lips bust out laughing. She remained pluzzed.

He laughs a lot she notice and it was comforting like the rays of sun touching the skin when it's setting down at sunset.

"Alright to others...." In between the soft words slip, laughing before glancing to her. "Thank you. You are funny". She is ? For the first time someone said it to her, even her friends of previous high school do not consider her the clown of their group, she was always the silent type of the group. Well, some people just appear different to other eyes she assume.

"Welcome and thank you". Wider her smile become only to turn pale remembering she is late to her class. "Oh shit !" Grabbing her things she stood up. "I am sorry, goona go". He laughing nod, waving byes. Looking amused.

Day 2

"Sorry, I am late". Panting puff of her heavy breath, she sat down. Rubbing her eyes a little.

"Why ? Chased by a tiger perhaps ?" Her weighted sleepy eyes awaken and hands halted. She look at her him and he smile wider. "Joking. It's to make people laugh". Mellow his laugh vibrate at his own sillyness. Never knew joke was part of his self. Then again she know nothing about him other than at passing glances. Somehow that meaningless moment to him was a flutter to her heart because she was learning about him.

The sleep from her eyes vanish and with sweet feeling she begin forgetting how sour her day was, waking up late due to her alarm clock's battery low and coming to class late and be center of attention of teacher's scornful eyes and almost fell asleep again when the class ended slip away the thought of their session. Like a candy he was, with one taste on her lips the more she savored the tiny thing the sweeter it taste to fresh her mind.

They begin studying and as usual the time melt in back as the pair focus on the important things. With him studying never felt like a chore rather a favorite time of her day where she could share her ideas, methods to someone at the end of day where the other would genuinely listen and he does. Soak her methods and appreciate her.

"So if you ever want to do the shading good you have to—".

Please please please don't prove I'm right ! Please please please don't bring me to tears when I just did my makeup so nic—

SLAM ! Closing her eyes in embrassment she shut the phone down and open to see him hiding his same smile.

"I forget to silent my phone". Sweating nervously, she blurt out, glancing to other few students who seem to be in their little bubble and she silently curse to not make the same mistake she once did. Quickly she message her mother who's personally she tune the song for that she will talk late. She is busy.

"Okay ! So where we were..." Tailling she avert her eyes to meet his despite feeling the weight on her self.

"You like Sabrina Carpenter ?" She wince not wanting to recall the moment ago mistake. Blush red her skin, she knows she is overreacting yet little moments like this keep her awake at darkest of night.

"Can we—".

"It's okay. I am just asking". He pursed his lips. "Because of her sudden hype ?" He cleared his throat, genuine interested in her answer.

"No !" Too eager she deny.

"Then ?" Cameron push a little.

"Well, I liked her for a long time. From the song feather". Expect honesty her whisper voice said.

"And I from nonsense". Drop ! The casualty of his unfolding another part of himself was surprising that she turn to look at him shock.

"O my god ! I never thought you would also know her from that time !"

"Common than you know, like finding people with similar likings".

"Yes ! But not from you" Shit ! Her hands clasp on her lips little late than the words escape causing the tables to turn and his eyes to suddenly wide.

"Really ? Am I that uncool and unapproachable ?" Hint of offense lace in his voice she couldn't hide her blossoming smile. "Wow ! What a girl, you are laughing at me now". Scoffing Cameron playfully glare at her wider her smile too much than her comfort.

"Sorry, I am sorry". Snort overshadowed her apologies that he scoff louder. Not out of offense rather at fun. She shuffle her laugh a little well. "I am genuinely sorry". With her best thin pressed lips she said.

"Are you ?" Skeptical he narrow his eyes.

"No". She bust out laughing so does he. She is laughing a lot she felt, he is contagious she thought. His habit clinging to her. Not good for her heart as she mute her laugh at best.

"It's okay I was joking. I like your laugh". Her heart skip a beat and the blush deepen. Not good for her heart indeed.

Day 3

"I am thinking nightcore should be popular again". Out of blue he commented, the back of his pen within his fingers poke his pink lips.

"Huh ?" She tilt her head, coloring the shade without glancing she could feel his gaze rest on her. Out of blue he likes to say the most random things she ever known. Another unknowm part of his she entered.

"Yes, because I was listening the mix nightcore songs named six pills and seven days by Rosendale". She pause. Look up at him.

"O my god ! He is such a underrated star ! I love his the rose and the king song". Cameron sit straight, a habit she observed when he found something interesting.

"I too ! I like his the neighbors. The way he makes stories turn into songs it just amazing ! He has a talent and need recognization". (Y/N) truly believed that thought.

"Also I do agree your thinking of nightcore needs popularity because you heard the male nightcore version of alibi by underdogs". Cameron shake his head. He didn't and with pleasure she pick her phone that is on silent mode and put the song.

Her fingers then gave him the otherside of earbuds to listen and he took it, his onxy eyes stare at the thumbnail a little. A smirk lift his lips.

"You sure, you didn't click the video by the image of geto from jjk ?" His eyebrows raise at her pause before connecting their eyes.

"Yes, so what ? I am just a girl". Puff her chest she said, pat twice on her chest he flicker his eyes at to her face. Snicker he listen to the song, drawing his heart out and on the other end of earbuds she finish her unfinished works. Both basking at one another's presence. The sunset outside with birds was pretty too.

Day 4

"Class, tomorrow the test results will be in your hands ! Hopefully you all have done well". Professor Martin said, holding the bunch of white sheets and leaving groaning and sighing students behind.

A sigh came to his ear. Cameron turn his head to his seatmate. (Y/N) who is on her shoulder rest her head. At the verge of tears.

"What happen ? Not good ?" She shake her head in his confusion. "Then ? Extremely bad ?" She shake her head again to further puzzle him. "Then ?"

"It was good, great actually ?" He nod, a sign to continue. "And that's worrisome ! Because how can all the questions answer can I know ? There must be few where or many where I will be found wrong ! There is no way I found all the questions revisioned !". A chortle pass his lips as he rest on his shoulder too, facing her on the desk.

"(Y/N), that only means you were brilliant. Not that deep". Soft the edges of his eyes become, staring at her and for some reason a bubble of their own little world came to her, washing away others behind leaving only him and her. Them alone.

His eyes on hers and heat of their hands brushing against each other and knees touch a little. They are close she felt. Closer to where she felt to call him as her friend yet her cowardness was bigger than her courage to say out loud. She was afraid of rejection, deathly afraid. The reason why she never forward hand of friendnship to others first in fear of rejection or played. So, clearing her throat, ripping the tight silent air she sat up, rubbing her lips together.

"Would you like to go to a cafe ?" Breathing she meet his daze onyx, unfear of anything as he layed on the desk. "With me ?" It took her a back at his sudden proposal.

"Why ?" Her voice quiet.

"Because I want to". His simply words assure her afraid heart.

"When ?" Still averting eyes he manage to surprise her.

"Right now".

"Right now ?" Her words louder she quickly dart her sight to find no one. "So suddenly ?" She felt strange. A little funny inside her stomach.

"As I said, because I want to". He sit up. "So will you ?"

"Yes". (Y/N) agreed finding herself few minutes later at a little serene and cushy cafe. Few people drink away their peace, spending their time either in alone or sharing with another. Waiters with genuine smiles serve the orders, enjoying their lives too.

"So how are you liking it ?" His words snap her from her trance, tearing her eyes to look further and focus on him.

"Wonderful. Better than I expected". Truly she expected to be uncomfortable at a bustling or expensive cafe instead of a little cafe like this turn reality from children's fairytale. She didn't even know let alone pass a cafe called 'cutieeva'. Truly a befitting name for the sweetness.

"Glad to know that I did not disappoint you". He sip the drink he order and (Y/N) did too, fond of the aroma and the drink too much. Perfect after a stressful day. "Perfect after a stressful day isn't it ?" Like a magician he said her thoughts out loud. Wide her eyes slightly.

"Yes". Thoughtlessly she said yes, one sip of the drink when a thought pass her mind. A thought she desired to say yet afraid to be false.

"Did you choose it for...." She crease her voice. "me ?" She finished with a breath.

"Yes". His eyes on the tea. "I thought to see you not have winkles on your forehead sooner that's why I brought you here". The little thought touch her body to warm her even in the cloudy whether. To stranger she was, one of the million to him yet he cared of her mind more like a friend. She couldn't help feel special. His kindness win her trust little by little.

Day 5

SLAP !

The noise never fails to fuel her gulit and darkness little by little. Blaming her a part that it was her fault the poor boy was still receiving bullyin— no the word isn't severe enough. Abuse and violence he was getting. Why ? All because one person wants to vent on a living being, the weakest of the group. Her eyes dare look at him. The bloody face, painted in red. Drenched in strench. Plant in shame and laughed in misery. An unfair game it was. Adrien had no right to toy with someone's life, emotions, body. It simply shows he is the weakest of the group. People who can't control their immature feelings. People who toy with others are the worst and they are better off dead she believes because a human heart is fragile even though the thing stays inside hard bones of cage if hit too many times even the hardest cages break to be too late to save.

So, decide to be a braver person, better version of herself she find a white untained napkin in her bag. One step she took, the painful groan fill her ears.

Two steps. Their mocking laughs surround her vision.

Three steps. His face slammed on the metal like a bull.

Four steps. "(Y/N) !" A loud yell of her name tear her head to the direction. The voice of the owner was Cameron. The boy she never thought call her name out in front of all. Because their meetings kept within the walls of library and little glances exchange when met in passing each other. Never did one of them step forward to knowledge the other until now. It surprise her, she will be honest and the others too because Adrian's eyes on her now, a wicked smirk playing on his lips and those knowing eyes seem so odd, wrong.

"(Y/N), I was hoping would you like to go to cafe with me today ?" His proposal taken her a back again, a minute ago when their session finished not a word he utter and suddenly he says misleading words in front of others.

"Uh—". Too aware of scornful eyes of thousand, hush whispers and the light tower over her was so sudden she felt awkward, out of place. Still she said "Okay". Rejecting him in the spotlight would bruise his heart she knew was kind and soft also she adores his gentleman presence.

"Let's go then". Placing a hand behind her back (Y/N) felt was a gesture of comfort. They about to walk away.

A whistle made her turn her head not his. He kept his head straight. "Cameron forget our hangout ?" Another of his friend beside Adrian grin, too wide to be friendly yet too happy to be not. They were all too happy, she felt confusion not shy like she should because it remind her of her friendship where if her crush came near her, the other girls giggles, laugh and create all sorts of silly sounds. That was endearing not this, it felt like a insider joke she wasn't welcome.

But is it even a joke when Cameron wasn't laughing, his face serious. The first time she saw this face in her prescene so unlike of the happy, goofy ones. "I am not going". No looking back he walked, pressing his hand on her back to drag her feet away too.

"Dude ! Enjoy your date". The sentence made her blush yet the biting laugh wince her for some reason. Something feels unreal, wrong. She can't bring to put her finger on.

A nervous laugh she let out to break the tension. "They are funny". It seems to work, because a grin break out.

"They sure are". So he does love his friends, because he won't say that otherwise. They both reach the same cafe, sitting opposite of each other, sipping their drinks.

Pit. Pat. Pit. Pat.

The sounds of water always awaken a happiness within her. The louder the drops hitting the ground, the harder she could laugh, the harsher waters fall the smoother she felt. Perhaps this sterms from her naïve thought that even cloudes need to cry sometimes and that comfort her. That she wasn't alone, the sadness of clouds were there for her. Crying alongside her or simply crying to her, drowning the road away.

"Shall we leave then ?" The cup cleaned empty from how delicious it was and Cameron who always silly, goofy seem gloomy and silent. Maybe cloudy weather didn't comfort him, sunny must do because he looks alive on those days. Happy and charming as if even the sun was glowing for him.

"I would like to stay for few minutes". Tender at the edge his voice was, place the porcelain cup with a light click and continue to stare at the empty cup like thoughts minging inside him.

His face shadowed and the mute colors of the cloudes hid the sun away completely, turning the roads slippery with it's sadness. He looks sad. She thought and for the first time she realize how she comes to not like the rainy day, blaming it for him. When a idea plant in her head convincing her to stand up and go near the waiter.

Cameron for some reason can't stop lowering his gaze. From confusion or hatred he is unaware but he prefers to not meet her warm (E/C) eyes. Those intelligent and honest mirror of hers. The shade of her eyes unconsciously come to be his favorite. "Here". A little shuffle of plastic pass his ears and a cream white bun wrapped in a plastic came to his sight.

"Eat it. Whenever I feel sad. I always eat it, makes me happy. Eating food is a way to relieve stress for me". (Y/N) smiling ear to ear gave him, sit beside him for a support she knew was never said.

Hmm ? Tilt his head, Cameron hold the bun and he look at her finally meeting those very same eyes his heart skip beats for, race fast and he felt like falling in love again. Rainy days never made for him yet the drops of water seem serene with her.

His hand touch her hand, intertwining like pieces of puzzle. Her breath hitched. Intimate the touch felt and caress of his thumb seem an unspoken approval. Her eyes flicker to his lips to his clear eyes where her own self seem far beautiful than she was, as if looking at herself from his view where she is most beautiful of all. The onyx eyes drop to her lips and stayed, her lips part a little and suddenly she felt dry.

Doubts creep in the back of her mind. This is not what she precieve, right ? His face lean a little, the warmth of his hand overshadow the coldness of the rainy breeze. He rest his forehead on hers and gosh, the people, whispers, droplets of rain all went in vain, white noise. She suck her breath, a knot in her throat and funny her stomach felt not knowing what to do. First time she is closer to a boy before in her high school, or middle school only limited to lacing hands.

Does she want it ? The kiss ? He lean more, chocolate breath of his coffee caress her gently and she close her eyes. Scared and uncertain. The knot of her throat more tighten and the funny in her stomach vanish leaving her stomach empty.

His lips about to touch, his warmth about to spread on her lips too when CLASP ! (Y/N) flinch, fear her life turn away and find a waiter accidentally break a glass. Heart racing inside her cage so fast she is afraid it might break out and the knot in her throat become lighter and doubts flee away.

Quitely she dare look at him through her lashes and breath hitched to find him stare her already. Pulses of her beat race faster and before her heart could bust bloody she stood up. "A-actually I reme-mber I have something to do". Stuttering she took her belongings, lay her payment of order and left without hearing his reply. Too afraid, too awkward to hear anything.

Day 6

"He's late". Sitting alone at their library, waiting for him was scary because of how unknown she is to his feelings. She knew him only for days to know if he cross the boundary in heat of moment or genuinely like her in that way. A way she is unsure if she feels the same but if she didn't why let him kiss her ? Strange confusion is feeling. Uncertain both his returning and her feelings.

Leaning back on the chair, peeking at the open window to see the cloudy weather cowering the sun makes her heart ache a little. She liked the warmth of the sun, it's ray kissing her skin and light to her sight. How odd once a rainy lover comes to love the sun too ? Suddenly buzz of her phone startled her realizing their session end and her next period is about to begin.

(Y/N) curl her fingers to fist, dugging crescent moons on her palm. At least the physical pain will divert her from the doubts of him ran away. That he toss her, threw her like a used person or became a coward person to go hiding after attempt to kiss her. She doesn't know which is worse. Perhaps the latter because at least her heart rest to know he liked her enough to try kiss her not for fun.

She waited few more minutes. Watching the clouds thunder.

More minutes to watch the thunders turn to small droplets of rain.

More minutes for the cloudy to cry finally. Rain heavy to soak the earth with it's sadness.

"It's time". She decided glancing at the time. She risked to almost miss her class and now if she hurry enough her class won't be miss so she grab her belongings with reluctant.

TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP.

Following loud sounds of footsteps did her (E/C) eyes saw Cameron standing. Panting his breath and little soaked at the sleeve and shoes holding a small bouquet of flower.

"I am sorry. I am late. I miscalculated that how long my class held me so when I went to buy flowers, almost all the shops near were closed so when I went to far I didn't knew what time pass". (Y/N) saw his eyes averting at every second and blush red his ears as his hand forward the daisy in his hand. A symbol of first love for a girl she read one time.

"The reason I went to buy flowers because I want you to be my girlfriend and flowers were my first thought to propose with". Shy his voice was and gaze lowering so many often times she fears he will never look again.

Joyful laughter spread across the empty library causing the boy to look up and met with the scene he almost felt his heart stop. Her lips wide in happiness escaping sounds of joy and eyes almost close in bliss behind her the sounds of rain melt like an painting he swears she is the most beautiful girl.

"I would love to be your girlfriend". Smiling so wide her apple of cheeks hurt she strench her hand to accept the flower when yelp pass her lips and eyes wide feeling his fingers circle around her wrist, pull her to collid the lips they couldn't yesterday. A satisfied sigh left his lips while (Y/N) pause.

A furrow in her brows came when his tongue part her lips to slip and move their lips together, in a rhythm like a melody of a beautiful song that is only made for them. He tastes like chocolate she notice. He taste good, smell good with rain however a sense of unease silt her stomach as his lips hungrier, greedier and pulling their breaths closer than more possible. The soft kiss melt into desire with their teeth mingling and his tongue exploring her flesh, sucking and licking all inside she felt she suffocated and in split of desperation she pushed him, sucking breath to her lungs.

Cameron panting to breath whisper "I am sorry". Holding her body and resting his face to her crook of neck.

"It's okay". She wondered if all first kiss were this passionate and the fairytale kisses were lies.

"Is your class starting now ?" He stare at her. "Are you free ?" The hopefulness in his voice melt her heart that changed even her mind.

As something told her utter out the words she never knew would be uttering. "I do not have any". The smile in his lips was enough to satisfy the lie. A lie she didn't regret telling.

Day 7

"I was wondering something—". Sitting beside each other. (Y/N) continue to say. "—at our first day when professor Martin asked why were you there and you answered to study with your crush. Was that a lie ?" Or truth she left unspoken, fear to be false. His hand on her waist caressing.

"What do you think ?" He returned with a question, she narrowed her eyes playfully as he tenderly smile more.

"Lie ?" She wished for him to correct her.

"Yes. It was". He spoke hiding his face on her neck. Peppering small kisses. She bite her lips and curl her fingers in tense of the sudden affections but she question if he is telling her the truth.

Lost in thoughts she felt him kiss on her neck tailing to her chin and to her lips finally. She pulled away laughing learning how touchy he is. "You are clingy". A little intense too. He laughs.

"How can I not be when I have the girl I like in my arms ?" Flirtatious words deepen her tone of blush very much to the strawberry Cameron likes to eat.

"What a flirt". Pushing him away to have space she lean on the chair. The libray is empty and a relive fill her because she wish no one to see her like this.

"Cameron, What are you doing ?" Adrien voice stuck her in her root. Many other footsteps close the gap when they come from her behind.

"Hey !" He greet her and (Y/N) didn't spoke a word, keeping her eyes on Cameron. She hates violent people and he is one.

"What are you doing buddy ?" Another of his friend, William asked, darting his blue eyes between the couple.

"Date with your girl perhaps ?" Giggling the red haired girl said, Harper.

(Y/N) thought for a second whether their relationship is secret or not and she definitely wanted the latter because relationships are meant to be open and they are in collage so it shouldn't be a problem.

"Yes, I am his girlfriend. Nice to meet you". She said noticing how he is not introducing her nor laughing like he does. He is looking grim.

"Oh ! Girlfriend ?" William smirk, the snicker made her discomfort for some reason. "Nice to meet you too". He forward his hand to shake but Cameron slap it away.

"We will be going". He commented, taking her hand to drag her away from the group. From behind (Y/N) heard the laughter increase and she felt weird. Shouldn't they be upset instead of laughing ? And why is he dragging her away ? Was their relationship meant to be secret ? Is he angry ? Was she wrong to say out loud their love for each other.

"Cameron.." She stopped, that face. The same shadowed face scare her, afraid to snap him. His jaw clench, lips pressed thin and eyes clouded with unknown thoughts. He looks scary. She didn't ask at the end.

Day 8

Life in collage after having a boyfriend didn't change much. The same mundane early mornings, walking through the hallway to classes save for the open abuse. She wonder did Adrian got bored and toss him away, she hopes so for the boy's health going on her day to study. The another change was their meeting at library isn't for study solely rather to spend sweet little time where he is as intense and touchy. Bathing her in pure hearts, bringing foods to fill her hungry stomach, whispering flirtous words.

He is the perfect boyfriend she ever dreamed of. The perfection of the sun she fell for. She is more than happy to do the same that's why she remembers his favorite foods, surprise him with little token of loves, share interest together. Not a single second of their share time was bitter or sour. It was fill with such sweetness a candy couldn't even satisfy now.

She happily even told her parents who were elected to see their daughter dating a good man from the praises she sang of him and they are too happy to meet him if possible which Cameron says he will meet when the right time comes.

"Three".

"Two".

"One !" (Y/N) felt a surge of relieve seeing Cameron came right at time before professor could enter. She wave her hand a little to help him spot her where he smiles and sat next to her.

"Hi". He greets her putting his bag back on the side.

"Hi". She greets him back, smiling in adoration.

"Cinderella".

"Aren't they are the Cinderella couple ?"

"O my god ! That's so cool ! I root for her".

"Shut up ! It's not that serious dating, you idiot !"

"Yes, they aren't actually dating".

Cinderella. (Y/N)'s favorite Disney princess because of how Ella, the real name of her was full of kindness and silent resilient. So, after dating Cameron their relationship slammed into Cinderella felt more like a mock to her.

"What's wrong with people". She roll her eyes thinking are these students from middle school ? Calling a couple Cinderella simple based for the fact they see Cameron as a prince and her a pleasant. (Y/N) wasn't from a poor family, her family fairly wealthy than middle class and they were normal couple. The whispers of the name always follows her.

"It's okay (Y/N), do not pay attention". Calmly his palm pat on her back, meeting her eyes to smile and she returned in a smaller one. She knew Cameron hated it and their dating became so public after they met his friend group yesterday. The one to sprinkle gossip. Talk about rudness yet a relive met her mind at Cameron's openness about their relationship.

Professor entered the class and (Y/N) couldn't help but sneak her hand under his to touch and Cameron glance at her, a twitch on his lips before intertwining to her surprise. A smile couldn't stop blossoming as she lean and rest her body to him peeking to find a smile on his too.

Day 9

"Cameron, you know that I like you for you not for the gifts you give me everyday". Leaving a exhausted sigh she look at the fourth gift of their short relationship. A golden ring for her pinky finger and as much as it's endearing to see it's burdening as she was gifted unwanted and not needed things.

"But I like to seeing you in my things". Lifting the smile she comes to adore he hold the tiny ring and pull her closer to kiss, a slow and soft kiss. A kiss she prefers than those passionate ones when a grasp part her mouth and (Y/N) broke to find him slide the ring on her finger already.

Playfully she glare at him to return with cute scrunch on his face. "Such a silly fox". A fox she is not afraid to love.

Day 10

"Cameron". Gently her (E/C) eyes finds his, "Don't. Not in the library". Stern her voice she push the needy boy to complete the assignment last minute before summiting.

"Cameron !" Yet here he goes again, dragging the wooden chair, screeching the legs of wood against the floor to hold her waist and pepper kisses over her neck to cheek.

Discomfort churn her stomach and fear threat to discover by someone she quickly scan for any yet finding none didn't melt the unwanted touches. "Cameron, please not outside. Not public". Like a exhausted parent she glare at him, their discussion of her not finding comfort in public touch has been talked however he seems to can't keep his hands.

"How can I control ?—" Before any sweet words win her.

"You can control. You just don't". Smiling she spare one look to soak in her work feeling his shoulder slump and in defeat to only lean on her body. The sight of golden bracelet remind her of his another gift today. Giggily telling her it suits her.

In silence she wrote the lines her mind commands listening to the seren breathing of her boyfriend beside. "Hey !" Her pen pause and she look to met Walliam, one of the familiar faces. "Dating in secrecy ?" Amused he let out, eyeing the pair.

She felt Cameron sitting straight, the humor dissolved into seriousness she couldn't fathom.

"Leave". One word and a mystic glint flash in William's eyes.

"Why ?" Challenged he raise his eyebrow and (Y/N) see the palpable tension she wanted to question suddenly because she notice too frequently how the cryptics words exchange in their talks confuse her and when she tries to join, she was quickly pushed aside with a brush. It pained her as a part of her wants to befriend or at least know them.

Another fact that didn't change ick her is she still felt like a outsider to the group and a loner. The laugh—

"Fine. Dude, keep your girl". Snicker he break the tight eye-contact to gaze upon her only to laugh, the laugh she was thinking. A laugh biting and mysterious. They always do whether she merely pass by them or few times wave her hand in courtesy. For odd reason it unnerved her because if bunch of people laugh at one with no known humor in context is strange.

They are strange. The image of their perfect friendship seems to distort a little and Cameron does not seem to tell her.

"Do you like them ?" He look at her sudden question, seeing him leave. "You do not look happy to face them anymore". Her eyes wasn't blind, she never saw him with humor when they face.

"I do like them. It just..." He tailed off, his eyes low and voice sounds distant. "—complicated". Wanting to ask more to bear even a slight of his burden on her shoulder as well. She part her lips.

"Your homework is completed right ?" He quickly smiled, lit up to kiss her swallowing her words inside and she let him dislike to ruin the happiness.

Despite being discomfort to kiss in public.

Day 11

"I know. I know we are only dating for few weeks now. Or more like days but—". Her words halted keeping her doubts at bay to talk straight. "—I am very close with my family. We always talk about crushes, love very freely. My parents even says that loving someone shouldn't feel wrong if both parties are adult and consenting so from very young age I always shares my crushes and few boyfriends to my family who met them to know if the boy is safe for me to date—". She look at those unreadable eyes. "—you know not dating me for bad intentions". He nod and she isn't sure from his blank expression what displeasing thoughts were running in his head. She bite her lips, perhaps pressuring him was a bad idea after all. His comfort comes first.

"I am sorry. You don't have to meet them if you don't want to". She added, sitting silently on his bed in his dorm room and look down almost regretting everything when heels of chair screech across the floor and her sight meet his legs and his hand wrap her wrist and pull her to his lap.

She yelped at the unexpected action, her toes curl a little. He grin. "You know you look like an scared rabbit ?" Cooing her, he lean to kiss the corner of lips, fluttering the butterflies in her stomach. His petal lips light kiss on her lips before turn her body a little to press her against his body.

Her breath hitched, her breast touch his chest and nervousness spread her. It is her another time such close range to a boy and the way his kisses tail on her jaw to her collarbone while those charcoal eyes directly gaze her awaken heat under her skin.

She grasp his sleeves and lean away a little. "Not here. I am not ready". Truthfully she says.

"Why ?" His brows furrow. "Do not worry I will meet your parents. Sooner or later". His smile lift the sensual air, sliding his hand on her back in smoothing manner. "It's alright. Nothing will happen". His hushed voice assure her. She rest her head on his shoulder. Little guilty for stopping him but she doesn't want to be rash for his need. They have rest of their lives to wait. Or at least that's what she thought.

"By the way, be ready. I am taking you to date". (Y/N) smiles, nodding letting his touch stay.

Day 12

"That date was magical". She thought walking to the gates of university when her eyes caught the sight of a small flower shop and his proposal with flowers flash across her mind. "Why not I give him a flower now ?" The idea opened the doors of his surprise expressions so immediately glancing at her phone for the time realizing she has no period pick her pace to the shop.

She choose the simplest. White roses represent pure love, hope and new beginning, the definition of their relationship. Isn't it ideal ? Sniffing the crisp and clean scent remind her of his musky and traditional ones. Closing her eyes in bliss she begin thinking the path to the business hallway to surprise him with flowers. Of course in secret not in front of all.

Holding the little bouquet of white roses she peek to the windows of classes finding him at none. Confusion sink a little.

"I miss my boyfriend". One of the passing girl thoughtlessly shared.

"Your boyfriend William ? Where is he ?" Her assumed friend asked.

"Of course with his friends at the esport facility". The girl replied, sounding upset yet (Y/N) ears perk at the mention of the familiar name and at the place they are at.

"Bunking class ?" She chuckle not knowing he is the type to. Walking fast she look around to find the facility she went only once or twice with her classmates by the teacher for sports practice.

"Where it is ?" Her teeth sink into her bottom lips, standing near a door and eyes searching for the room.

"Hey Cameron, what game are you playing huh ?" (Y/N) jolted slight at her boyfriend's name called from behind and she turn her head to stare at the door behind.

"What do you mean ?" His smooth, soft voice asked. Her heart skipped.

"Stop beating around the bush and say it what game are you playing with that girl ?" A unfamiliar male voice irritated asked and she tilts her head in confuse. What girl ? Which girl ?

"What girl ?" Cameron glare at his friend, Leo.

"That girl you are recently dating from art class". Her heart skipping more feeling intrude into their private conversation yet the desire to hear what he really thinks of her grip her in her roots.

"What about (Y/N) ?" An exhausted sigh echo the room.

"Hey ! Buddy, you know what we are talking about ! Stop playing dumb". The harsh, horse voice of Adrian add. "We told you the bet was to date that girl and kiss her within five days. So why are you still doing hovering over her ?" The air around her turn cold and her feet and hands felt frosty.

What ?

"Yes, Cameron, are you trying to fuck her too ? That's why you are following her like a shadow ?" William's deep voice joked. Laugh vibrate in his chest and maybe the laugh was contagious because all joined in save for Cameron and Leo.

"Stop it ! The bet was to merely date and kiss her not to make her fall in love ! It's not a laughing matter when someone's feeling is in hand". Leo sounded agitated only to fuel their laughter.

"Leo ! Stop sounding like a fucking saint when you were the one to give the bet". Adrian tsk in irony, looking away from the group to the door.

"I know and I regret it". He answered back, sparing a look to Cameron who's choosing silence the entire time.

"I wondered if she is virgin because why else Cameron wants her so bad ?" William smirk, glint mischievous at earning Cameron's glare while Adrian furrow, making out someone's figure outside of the door.

"What wanna—". Another friend's voice cut off.

"Who's there ?" Adrian's shout causing all to look at the door. "Hey ! You outside !" (Y/N) jumped in cold sweat hearing the footsteps closing to near and near and near yet her body isn't hers to listen anymore.

She watched the door wide open meeting many pairs of eyes however her found Cameron's wide ones. Fear and panic in those onyx ones she only saw bashfull and confidence. Was that also an act to make her fall ?

"(Y/N) ?" His utter break the silence and Leo mutter fuck under his breath. The others forming smile at the new entertainment about to begin.

"(Y/N)" The name roll from Cameron's voice suddenly sounded bitter, distant. Like she was a stranger to him and he was to her. She wonder how she even manage to stood not run away like in the movies she watch ?

"(Y/N)—".

"I know you are dating me for love right ?" Words she didn't ponder to say escape. The white roses in her hand bend a little by her force of fist but she didn't care. She looked straight in his eyes and waited to hear the answer she knew was truth.

He likes her.

She knows. She knows he likes her. The bet must be somesort of joke that turned truth later, she believes he won't betray her trust in that way. She knows she is being dating because she is liked, loved. No way the adoration, love, smiles, flowers were lies. An illusion. An decoration to the prey to sink his fangs.

He must like her right ?

"I am—". She breath in relieve and the boys scoff in disbelief. "—now". Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Why the word now feels foreign, unheard and confuse word. What does he mean by now ? He didn't soak sleeves to propose with flowers for love ? He didn't try to kiss her for love ? He didn't bring her to cafe for her peace of mind ? He didn't call out her name in front of others for love ?

What does that mean ? What they were then ? If not girlfriend and boyfriend ? If not in relationship ? Because the reality of her faith in him was shattered by the single word. Now.

"Do you love me ?" He flinch and she thought why unaware her voice sounded cold.

"Yes. I do now—".

"Did you loved me ?" He wince again and she is thinking why ? When she should be the one in pain.

"Did you loved me ?" The guilt in his eyes should have been the answer but she wanted to prove the illusion wrong that he did loved her.

"Did you loved me ?" She repeated, her voice stronger than better. Harsher than previous.

"No". The root of grip over her body collapse and the trust for him shatter.

"Did you approach me solely due to bet ?" She asked once more, little crack at the end.

"Yes". The honesty she always like stings like a snake bite, poisoning all the reality she believed, lived in only to be shattered and realize how big of a fool she was.

The men in the room laughed a little. That same biting laugh and she realize another thing. They all knew. Not only the men but the others too, all the students knew. She was from the beginning jester to their sick joke. An outsider to the group. When she thought all were laughing with her turns out they were laughing at her.

And the orchestra was done by the one and only person she trusted and come to love. Her beloved boyfriend Cameron. She should have known no mortals are allowed to look at the sun directly. It burns their eyes, flesh and left nothing but ashes of burnt. She should have been better.

She turn her heels and walk. Walk straight to her dorm. Feeling the blaze of sun rays. Today the sun was pretty warm.

She layed on the bed. Unmoved, untouched and unlive too. Staring at the ceiling with her dry eyes. She thought why tears weren't comforting her when her heart was squeezing her to not breath anymore.

Ding !

(Y/N) stood up, livelessly went near the phone when the little bouquet of love. The white roses fell to the ground silently. She watched them and in errie slow way she crounched down. The white wrapper around them fell apart, the bunch of roses draft from one another. Her fingers touch the green stem.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

The delicate thorn of the stems nicked her finger accompany with the sting of pain and drops of ruby hue fell to the group. As silently as the flowers. Her head title, staring at the errie blood on her fingers, not a hiss left her lips. The pain was for a second, light yet.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

Finally the tears in her eyes roll down her cheeks. Quiet salty tears swell up however sudden little whimper form in her lips turning to sounds of pain as she begin crying out loud. Louder and louder and louder the cry become.

"It hurts. It hurts". She whimper and for some reasons it was not the pain in her fingers and she hated to acknowledge the real pain. She wanted to believe in the illusion she thought was her reality.

"It's hurts. It really really hurts". She wail, fat tears one after another falling down and ears plumbing hard to not let her hear anything.

Why ? Why ? Why he played with her ? Why he do that ? She really, really loved him. His smile was sweet, his laugh was louder, the daisy was beautiful, his embrace was warm. He became her many things she liked.

Even if the days they bond was short, the feelings were deeper than the days. Why ? Why did he do all those ? Just for a bet ? If so why was he so honest there ? He could have lied and she like a fool in love believed him. She totally could have.

Wailling alone. In the cold room despite the sweeping of sun rays. She stare at the white roses. A represention of pure love, hope and beginning along sorrow and regret she forget.

Suddenly the door of the room bust open, she couldn't care. The pain was becoming unbearable by passing second when a strangled grasp left her lips upon the touch of a pair of hands around her frame.

The touch was too familiar it was nausea.

"I am sorry, I am sorry (Y/N) for doing that to you. I am sorry. I am really really sorry (Y/N). Believe me I am". Cameron hug her tighter and she cried harder.

"I am sorry. I love you. I do love you (Y/N)". The special words of love instead of touching her, fluttering her heart turn her stomach.

"I love you. Believe me. You must believe me". He let her go and cup her soaked face, staring into the pained (E/C) eyes. "I love you. Yes, I approach you with motive but believe me I fell for you in the process. Look if I didn't love you then I wouldn't brought you the flowers, get wet in rain, spend half of my time with you and bring you to the cafe". He in desperate voice told her.

"I love you. You are my first love (Y/N), my first and only one. You made me fall for you". (Y/N) sobbing look at the stranger in front and sniff.

"H-how can I believe you ?" Cameron froze. He stare at her, those teary ones, the reason of her pain.

And connect their forehead. "Think about it (Y/N), if I didn't love you so much would I still date you even after we kissed ? If I didn't love you would I have still dated you ? Think about it. If I didn't love you shouldn't I throw you away ? I loved you and took care of you. Always thought of you". (Y/N) sob halted and her numbed mind thought of the sense of his speech.

"If I didn't love you I wouldn't chase after you and hug you so dear to my arm ?" Now she couldn't stop thinking how good he treated and loved her. Yes, late but at least loved her right ? If their relationship wasn't a love story then what ? Of course it was love right.

She loved him a lot. And seeing him in his knee cradling her makes her forgive him, give him a second chance. "Will you be my girlfriend again ?" It was an unspoken break up.

"Yes". She didn't want to lose him so she said yes slipping the consequence of her mistake because even if he loved her, late. The pain and the scars were already dug too deep.

He hugged her tightly in happiness. She really didn't want to lose him but how could she differentiate the lies and truth drop from his lips when it was the same lips approach her with deceit.

Also if he loved her then why did he not notice the drops of blood yet ? Or he doesn't care enough to.

𝑻𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒖𝒆𝒅

☾ ─────────

#dark romance #female reader #male yandere #x reader #yanderexreader #yandere community #yandere x fem reader #chubby reader #obsession #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x female reader #dark fiction #toxic relationship #toxic love #angst #light angst

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katuschka · 3 months ago

Text

Olalla Chapter Nine

Josh Kiszka x f!OC x Jake Kiszka 5.569 words

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, intended for adult readers. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Also, if you're under 18, go find some other entertainment elsewhere.

Warnings (are spoilers): phone sex, masturbation, LGBT themes, mentions of infidelity, anxiety, betrayal&trust issues, secrets, overall a healthy dose of emotional shit as always

If you like the story and want to get notifications, you can join the Taglist

Previous chapter Olalla masterpost

Over the mountains, woods and valleys two guys fought with shepherd's axes. Hey guys! Stop fighting! The girl has two braids; you can share!

November 2025; Josh

He stood silent, but the contents of his mind were full of roaring memories of moments similar to this one. He could hear his younger and more carefree self shouting, almost as if someone played it in his in-ear. Can you feel iiiiiiit?

Exhilaration, stage fright, happiness, fear, anticipation…

All the emotions crammed into that fleeting, magical moment that lasts just a few seconds before everything bursts. The moment which ALL the souls and hearts in the large arena shared as one. He couldn’t see them yet, but their cries reverberated through the walls on their way from the green room to the stage and the volume reached the deafening level as soon as the band’s silhouettes appeared behind the semi opaque curtain.

There was no speech this time, no pre-recorded intro; just the sound of Sam’s Hammond organ that first started as a feeble hum, barely audible in the roaring mix of cries, clapping hands and stomping feet. Back to basics, while sticking to the most essential refinements.

The tones grew louder then, and Josh could feel them set the stage beneath his feet vibrating, which only added to his agitation. So glad to be back, and yet so anxious.

So much had changed in just one year, so many things that altered their course. The ‘Spring/Summer festival tour’ literally changed his life. He had loved, he had lost, he was now taking a path to the unknown, and it all left people wondering. His sudden disappearance and a subsequent injury started brand new rumors, and all the attempts to stop them from spreading felt like fighting Hydra. Eventually, they just stopped trying and focused on work, but now it made his guts clench again. Did they still love him? Would they still accept him, standing in front of them so vulnerable and naked? He knew some of them condemned him for what he had done, a few believed the lies about him, but thousands of them still came back.

He looked at Jake for reassurance, but found him crouched under his own heavy thoughts, while his hands followed Sam’s direction, adding more ringing notes to the whole cacophony of the tamed melody and tumultuous feelings.

Josh was on his own in this. He too looked down and smoothed a wrinkle on his new ebony satin wrap jacket. It hugged him around the waist and fell in smooth cascades around his hips. It was a perfect piece of garment, elegant when tied up, and frivolous-looking when he let it open. Unsure about it at first, he had gained some meat back during the last month, so he could now finally acknowledge that it really looked good on him. He put his chin up, both metaphorically and literally, and ran his fingers across the edges of the new dark brass laurel wreath that now decorated his head. It was a last minute addition, designed to hide the scar that was still visible under his patchy haircut. A deep breath in, and…

The curtain dropped.

... and the room exploded. He looked down and realized they had been just as nervous, and finally they could just let it all out. Raising his arms up in a simple gesture, he urged them to do it, and then welcomed him in return.

It was a wonderful song to open the show with. Just like with Heat Above, the initial tension grew until it was almost unbearable, only to be replaced by smooth harmonies and a soaring melody. However, they also experimented a bit more with this one, changing the tempo as well as the mood right where the chorus was supposed to be, hitting the listener right in the chest with its aggressive force. It was a perfect hymn for disturbing times, and the lyrics were Josh’s new prayer.

When it was over, Josh closed his eyes, panting, and tried to get ready for the next song. The initial high subsided and he was now painfully aware of his surroundings. The new setlist had been one of the main topics of the recent late night quarrels. Sam and Daniel wanted to continue with Safari, while Jake opposed the idea without being able to explain why. He got outvoted eventually and now it was his turn to play the initial chords.

Everything went smoothly until the first chorus. Josh turned slightly to the left, just like he had been used to doing, only to see Jake still standing at his side of the stage. He took one step forward, but Jake kept ignoring him. The audience noticed too, and he could see their frowned and confused faces as he continued to sing “why don’t you give some lovin’” and by that time it was painfully obvious that Jake wasn’t coming. One of the most notorious examples of their twin bond, one that started years ago as a telepathic need, was gone. Jake no longer wanted to sing that song together with him.

Thousands of miles away, still tucked in her warm bed, Agnieszka was watching the livestream.

Agnieszka

After she had followed all the accounts that promised to do the streaming, Agnieszka had set her alarm clock to 3:30 to make sure she wouldn’t miss a single minute of it. With her headphones on, a cup of strong coffee at hand and a wildly beating heart inside her chest, she joined thousands of the people in the arena and hundreds of others online as a silent voyeur.

While reading all those excited comments, she had no intention to join the live chat. She had even gone as far as to create new burner accounts everywhere, just to be able to keep tracks without being seen. She had already learned the power of gossip with the two of them still here, and things only got worse after they left, all because of one smudgy photo made by some fan from Warsaw.

It happened early on during their stay. The two of them were just helping Agnieszka with some groceries when a girl approached them and they reluctantly agreed to take a photo with her, well aware that things could get much worse if they refused. Much to everyone’s relief, nothing really happened afterwards, even though the picture circulated through the online space for a few days. It was just a photo of the guys “on vacation”, location unspecified, with both of them hiding under their hats and behind their sunglasses. They were probably just taking some time off after the recent media shitstorm, people concluded. Joshua needed to get out, and Jake was there to keep him company.

It was only after the fans started discussing possible reasons for and creating their own theories about Josh's mysterious injury and why the tour got postponed when the girl posted another photo on Reddit that ultimately caused a huge uproar. The picture showed the three of them leaving the supermarket, location specified, with her confirming that the dark-haired woman who seemed local was indeed there with them. And since it was a clear violation of the guys’ privacy, the girl got roasted for it immediately and deleted it shortly afterwards. But the harm was already done, the photo quickly appeared on other platforms and fueled people’s imagination.

Things got a bit out of hand in early October. At one point, she even martyrously tried to convince Joshua not to come back and just forget about their little affair, but he was adamant, unwilling to let anyone ruin his life any further.

And now Jake only made things worse. The fourth song just started, and the people in the chat were still discussing his strange behaviour. To say that it made Agnieszka feel uncomfortable would be an understatement. Of course she knew they were supposed to sing those lines together, as she had spent the last two months watching every video that there was. Official material, fan footage and old interviews became her everyday bedtime stories. She even fell asleep while listening to Joshua’s guided meditation a few times.

It always made her feel like an Alice in Wonderland, unable to comprehend how she came to know these talented and flamboyant people. She had dined with them, got drunk with them, kissed them and developed an intimate relationship with one of them.

Was there really any relationship at all? As those strangers kept wondering, they were asking questions to which she had no answers. No, she wasn’t lurking backstage; no, she didn’t know how he labeled himself, because she never cared to ask; and no, she had no idea what was going on between him and Jake.

Pcheh. Their ‘intimate’ relationship…

What was it, if not a folly?

Everytime she found a new gray hair – which seemed much more frequent after what happened up on Koscielec – Agnieszka would ask herself what am I doing? And then she would continue doing that. There were plenty of other men willing to be with her if she only let them, and she had the freedom to do it if or when the opportunity presented itself, but she just couldn’t. She kept waiting for the phone calls and Google Meet rendezvous.

One such face call was scheduled right for after the show. Agnieszka had to wait for Joshua to get back to the hotel, which would take a while, so she just lay back on the pillow and enjoyed the moment of peace, as well as the warmth of her soft comforter. The house was now half empty and eerily quiet during early hours. No one wanted an early breakfast at this time of year; the few adventurous hikers and alpinists who dared to conquer the icy trails mostly kept to themselves. A calm before the Christmas storm, one would say.

Even the sounds of the waking town coming from the outside were strangely muffled by the falling snow. Minutes dragged, and boredom and restlessness started to set. Agnieszka tried to kill the time by watching other newly posted videos from the show that just ended.

Eventually, she dozed off waiting…

She was walking along the ridge that separated the northeastern valleys from the southwestern ones. It was a dangerous path between two seemingly different worlds, covered with frost and ice, forcing her to consider every step carefully. To her left, everything was sprinkled with white and with mist lurking at stony rims. To her right, where the hillside was blessed with more sunshine, the autumn still kept flaunting its fiery colours. The setting sun behind her back illuminated the landscape and enhanced the visible split of seasons.

Agnieszka couldn’t tell how she got up there. Just a moment ago, she was safe in the warm bed, awaiting a new day, from which she now couldn’t remember anything. The only thing was certain – the winter was coming and once again, another sun-like light appeared on the eastern horizon, disrupting the age-old alternation of day and night and sending chills down her spine.

She heard three voices calling her name simultaneously.

Together, it created an unearthly sound… then suddenly, their voices turned to deafening ringtones…

Olalla

Veela

Neszka

Agnieszka needed to take a few seconds to find out where she was and what happened. With the sleepy haze still clouding her brain, she looked around to see that the sky outside turned to steely blue, making outlines of furniture in her bedroom already visible. The phone, which she still held in her hand, kept on buzzing.

Still feeling weird from the recurring and yet ever changing dream, she pressed the accept button, squinting at the oppressively bright screen. Sexy…

Joshua, on the other hand, was his usual flawless and charming self: freshly-showered, rosy-cheeked and with his short damp curls slicked back. “Oh, hello darl… did I wake you up? I thought you said you were going to…”

“Oh yeah, yeah, I was. I just fell back to sleep after the livestream ended, I guess. But I saw everything,” she responded groggily while rubbing her left eye, before she adjusted the pillow behind her so that she could sit.

“Oh, cool. It was a hell of a show, wasn’t it.” He greeted her with his usual bright, toothy smile, but Joshua’s face was an open book and Agnieszka already knew that face she caught a glimpse of behind the smiley mask quite well – when she could read a lot of conflicting things in his eyes, all of them centering around uncertainty and self-doubt. A simple twitch of an eyebrow always gave him away. She knew how nervous he was; he had confided to her prior to the show.. It was the first US show since he got outed and his personal life became a tabloid shitshow. And while the band was indeed greeted with rapturous ovations and they did put on a ‘hell of a show’, the undercurrent of doubt on both sides ran deep and the fact that his own brother seemingly threw him under the bus right when he felt the most vulnerable didn’t help at all.

False consolations were not her nature. “Joshua… when I said I saw everything, I really meant everything.”

He sighed and started rubbing the back of his neck. “Was it that obvious?”

“What? That something is obviously going on between the two of you? Yeah, I would say so. At least to everyone who’s familiar with your stage behaviour. It shouldn’t be a big deal, I suppose, but I saw your face, and so did everyone else. It was pretty clear you didn’t expect that. The people in the chat spent the next half an hour making assumptions. Some of them even mentioned the ‘dark haired stranger’ that allegedly drove a wedge between the two of you.” She added the last sentence for comedic effect; to lighten the mood a bit. However, it had the opposite effect and Joshua’s face turned to stone.

“Well, you shouldn’t really worry about that.” He sounded strangled, and for the first time turned his gaze off the screen.

“Are you ok, Joshua?”

“Yeah! Yeah…totally fine,” he replied absentmindedly. “We’ve had a few disagreements, but it’s nothing serious. Promise. I, eh… I wish you were here, sweetheart… So, anyway, what did you think of that lill’ insertion after Danny’s drum solo, birthday girl?” he chuckled, trying to change the subject.

“You mean ‘My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean’? Yeah, that was very subtle. Everyone thought so…” She didn’t even try to hide the annoyance in her voice, unable to comprehend how he could think that it was a good idea. Obviously, he didn’t share the sentiment.

“Well, I did that on purpose. And since people already talk… Well, I just hoped you’d like it. So, how was your special day?”

“Pretty uneventful, just like all the other days here.” As it always was. She stopped celebrating her birthdays a long time ago. Joshua was probably the only person on Earth who tried to make a big deal of the uninteresting fact that she was now thirty three. Well, him and Maya. “I went for a walk, I got a new backpack, I actually had a massage…that was nice and pleasant… and I got my IUD replaced… that was much less pleasant.”

“Well good to know!” He made another funny face and she had to laugh back. Most of her former lovers would be grossed out by the bold remark, but not him. He was just… different.

For example, he couldn’t just sit still, which was in fact often pretty cool and entertaining during their face call as he always inadvertently gave her a tour of whatever place he was currently at. So, as he walked around, she could see glimpses of his suite. “Wow, that’s a fancy hotel room. Very different from the dingy attic one.”

“And cold,” Joshua replied irritably. “It’s really the worst part of the deal, to be honest, and no amount of luxury could possibly change that. I’d give anything to be back in that snug attic room if it meant I could feel your soft skin again.”

“Soft…”

“Yeah, like satin. Go on and touch it if you don’t believe me.” With that, he finally hopped on his bed and leaned his back against the headboard. He must have untied his bathrobe in the process, as she could see his bare chest now, knowing too well where this was going. They had tried a few times in the past and always ended up giggling. Yet he kept on trying. “Are you naked?”

“Hell no! It’s November. I’m wearing button-up pajamas.”

“Unbutton it then.”

She couldn’t help but laugh. His incessant attempts to coax her into having phone sex with him were always so… cute. “I think I’ll need a bit more convincing.”

He closed his eyes and exhaled harshly. Agnieszka couldn’t see his other hand, but she knew very well where it was. “I’m imagining your palms right now, so callous and coarse from all the hard and honest work, like the finest sandpaper…”

She was just getting comfy and he made her burst out laughing again. “You’re an idiot.”

He chuckled with her. “All right, all right, let’s try again. I was serious about your skin. So soft and warm, and when my fingers travel further down… come on, travel with me… it feels like a velvety cushion, and it smells like honey and hay. Can you feel it too, baby?”

“Yes,” she moaned involuntarily. Hearing him talk about it like that really did create a good illusion. “I imagine your fingers. Say more, because I swear I can almost feel them”.

He was breathing heavily now, which turned her on even more. He told her more about the things he’d do and she followed his directions, sliding her middle finger inside. “I wish I could touch your cock.”

“And I’d give anything to feel your lips around it right now…”

She bit her lip when the question popped up in her head. It wasn’t the first time, but she never mustered enough courage, until now. Still not sure if it was ok to ask that, she took a deep breath first. “Do you ever imagine a man doing it to you, Joshua? I mean, do you still…?”

He seemed unfazed, just a little annoyed. “Why are you asking me now?”

“I think it’s sexy,” she cooed. “Besides, if this is supposed to work, we shouldn’t keep secrets from each other.” Saying that, she felt a pang of guilt even before she finished the sentence.

“Sexy, you say?” he asked huskily and she could hear the unmistakable sound of slapping flesh. Judging by the movement of his shoulder, it was more than apparent what he was doing. It made her heart beat wildly. If only she could be there with him…

“Yeah… you were always in control when we were together, hardly ever letting me take the lead, even when I wanted to. And I just wondered…because…” The sound of him clearing his throat interrupted her in mid-sentence.

“It just felt natural. You’re so delicate, like baby deer…”

“No, I’m not…”

“Yes, you are, baby. Compared to most of my previous lovers, you are… You’re strong, but still a flower… I just…just can’t stop looking at you… So, erhhm, to answer your question - yes, I do.”

This was all strangely exciting.

“Tell me more.”

“Are you still touching yourself?”

She was. Because she didn’t lie. It made her slightly anxious, but the fact that the idea also turned her on couldn’t be denied. Also, learning to know his desires seemed like the best policy against the anxiety which was almost crippling at times, and today was no different. Seeing him wrapped in satin, adored by hundreds of people, and not all of them women, made her feel like an onlooker, forced to remain in the distance. She didn’t want that.

And so he told her, with reluctance at first, but seeing that she didn’t stop and wanted more, he went on. Slowly, they guided each other towards their respective climaxes. Even though separated by thousands of miles, for a split second they felt closer to each other than before in the aftermath.

“What time is it there right now?” he asked groggily after a while, when she could no longer hide her weariness and yawned expressively.

“Almost eight thirty.”

“Can you perhaps go back to sleep for a while.”

“I guess so.” She had no real responsibilities until after lunch, so the idea of staying in bed for a while seemed quite agreeable.

“I think you should, then. And I should try to get some sleep as well. See you soon, love.”

“Good night, Joshua.”

Agnieszka tried to follow his advice, but after a while, she grabbed her phone again, quite sure that a certain person wasn’t asleep just yet…

Jake

Jake in fact did try to go to bed early-ish this time. He also tried everything that was supposed to help him accomplish this special mission. He had a few drinks, a soothing shower, late night sex… and if that wasn’t enough, skin-to-skin cuddles were expected to do the trick.

However, half an hour later, his mind was still racing, and it had nothing to do with the person now sleeping so peacefully right next to him. The person who – in fact – was also the one who had tried to persuade him that he should improve his sleeping habits. Women. So, instead of grabbing a guitar or a book, he was now lying in the darkness, watching city lights painting pictograms on the ceiling above him. He didn’t dare leave the bed, afraid that it would wake Lisa.

Suddenly, his phone lightened up with a familiar notification. He kept most of them muted, so he knew immediately. And surely enough…

Veela: Care to explain what the hell happened?

Jake knew immediately what she meant, and it made him feel both pleased and angry with himself at the same time. What the hell happened, indeed. It wasn’t deliberate. It wasn’t out of spite. He just didn’t want to play the song. And he certainly didn’t want to sing it… with Josh, no less! For years, it had been ‘their’ song, and it didn’t mean anything else. They wrote it before Josh really started caring about the meaning of the lyrics he was writing. The stupid ditty suddenly got a brand new meaning and Jake just couldn’t stomach it.

He certainly didn’t want to make people wonder, or to make her angry… or maybe he did? Either way, there was no way out.

He quickly scrambled out of bed – afraid that he would wake Lisa – and took the phone with him to the bathroom where he sat on a closed toilet seat, feeling sneaky.

Kuba Starlight: “I just wasn’t in the mood for singing, thats all. No big deal.”

The response was immediate.

Veela: Is that the only reason?

His thumbs hovered above the keypad for several seconds before he finally typed a brief answer.

Kuba Starlight: Yes.

He watched the three dots moving while rubbing his chin, anxiously awaiting her next jab. It took her a while, leaving him wondering what kind of indictment she was drafting.

Veela: Because I just talked to him and it didn’t seem like a “no big deal” to him. And people noticed too. It’s no.1 gossip right now. I’m slightly jealous. You’re trying to steal my spotlight, no doubt. :p

The last remark made him smile. Perhaps she wasn’t that angry after all.

And so am I, he thought. Wonder how you did it.

Kuba Starlight: People will always talk. One day I forget to comb my hair and the next day they start a rumor that I’m a depressed drunk.

Kuba Starlight: Josh is quite oversensitive these days.

He expected her to continue pestering him about the stupid ‘stage incident’, but she switched back to her caring and understanding (and nosy) self instead.

Kuba Starlight: In fact, I have.

Veela: You shouldn’t blame him.

Veela: I know you were worried about the show too. Maybe you two should just… talk?

Veela: What about my previous suggestion? The room is still available.

Veela: I just really don’t think you should spend Christmas alone. Unless you’ve found someone to spend it with…

He couldn’t even tell why answering truthfully suddenly made him feel so irritable. Perhaps because he wasn’t really truthful.

Kuba Starlight: Nothing serious. Just a casual acquaintance.

Veela: OK. That’s good news.

Is it?! He watched – all hopeful – as the three dots appeared again.

Veela: It might get serious eventually. You never know. :)

That only made him feel worse. And there were no more dots after that. Obviously, she dropped the subject, which in turn made his stomach drop. It was always like that, with him being torn between ‘honey, don’t feed me’ and ‘why aren’t you talking to me?’ She was convinced they were friends – bless her heart… and damn his. He kept feeding her this idea only to keep in contact with her, knowing too well it was both self-destructive and toxic.

He shouldn’t want her to keep persuading him; he in fact shouldn’t be having this conversation in the first place, but that wretched creature inside his head always prevailed. The truth was that he had considered her suggestion – his heart even skipped a beat when she first mentioned it as a possibility – and the wretched creature wanted him to say yes.

It was right after right after Josh casually informed her that their parents were taking a long-desired trip during Christmas, and she immediately thought about him being left alone, bless her big heart.

So yes, he wanted to say yes, it just wasn’t justifiable up until recently. Now he had a perfect excuse, so he quickly started typing another message.

He re-read the blabbery he just sent and groaned again, loudly this time. Not only because he didn’t really think it through yet, it was still just a vague idea. But also because of all those typos he always made when he was in a rush.

Kuba Starlight: But she asked me if we could go sking, so maybe we could come together.

Kuba Starlight: You know… to keep an eye on him.

Kuba Starlight: Not that I don’t trust you… but, you know…

Kuba Starlight: But don’t worry about our stay. I’ll find us something else. Somthing with jacuzzi and champange.

And she never commented on it. She never judged him.

Veela: :D

Veela: Oukey then! I’ll be happy to see you again. And to meet your new girl.

December 18th 2025, Nashville; Josh

They made it. The first part of the tour successfully completed, Christmas was finally here and the atmosphere in the city already satiated with the holiday mood. Just a few more days… and then he would see her again.

There was one last thing that Josh desperately needed to do, and so far it had prevented him from being able to join and enjoy the festivities. He had been sitting in their favorite cafeteria for more than an hour now, more and more convinced that he had been stood up. The idea weighed like a huge stone on his chest and it grew heavier with each passing minute.

But at last, he appeared. Effortlessly charismatic as always. Lean and tall, with his hair neatly braided this time. He spotted Josh immediately, but remained standing by the door for a few excruciatingly long seconds before he finally made his way towards Josh’s table.

Josh stood up and made one hesitant step forward, but Christopher quickly stopped him with his outstretched palm. A simple gesture that felt like having a bucketful of icy water tipped over his head.

Josh knew that it was absolutely foolish to hope for a hug, but after all those years, it was just like a conditioned reflex. He had spent so much time hugging that man that it seemed unnatural not to do it, even under the current circumstances… “Please, at least sit.” He sounded defeated.

Christopher took the chair opposite to Josh and leaned back with his arms crossed. It wasn’t going to be easy, that was certain. “Ok, spill. What do you want?”

“I… the idea that I’d never see you again was just unbearable…I mean…”

Christopher cocked his brow exasperatedly. “Spare me.”

Josh started to panic. It was so hard to tame the thoughts in his head so that he could transform them into a coherent sentence. Christopher was well aware, but also unwilling to make it any easier for him. Josh had spent hours looking into those eyes. Somewhere behind them, there used to be a place that felt like home. Now he could clearly see that he was no longer welcome there. So, instead of trespassing, he lowered his eyes and opted to tell it to the coffee cup. “No… I mean, without, eh, I cou..couldn’t stand not to see you again and…and not to tell you how sorry I am.”

A few more excruciating seconds passed before he dared to look up again. Christopher was rubbing his lower lip with the tips of his fingers – something he always did when he was searching for the right words. The silence made Josh’s chest tighten.

“I gave you quite a lot of freedom,” Christopher said at last.

“I know…”

“And you said you’d never do anything that would hurt me. And I trusted you.”

“I know…”

“And you betrayed that trust… twice!”

“We were no longer together when I… I didn’t expect you to…” The sound of Christopher’s palm slapping the wooden desk right in front of Josh made him jump.

“YOU TOLD ME…” Christopher raised his voice menacingly, but quickly tried to calm himself down when he saw Josh’s startled stare. They were in public, after all. He knew the rules, and it affected him too now. So, he took a deep breath before he continued: “You told me that it was not even a possibility, so naturally, I feel like everything you EVER said was a lie.”

“I didn’t lie. I…I didn’t know it was a possibility, Taffy,” Josh’s voice faltered. He squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to fight off the stinging sensation, but it was no use. He was crying. “I’m so sorry,” he sobbed. They sat silent for several seconds; thankfully, it was enough for Josh to pull himself together and Christopher mercifully granted him that luxury.

“The thing that happened with David…,” Josh cleared his throat and continued, fully determined to say everything he wanted to: “I know no apology could even make it right. The worst thing is that it really meant nothing. I feel like I’ve lost control of my life even since, which…I guess…I fully deserve. Like a drunken boat. You remember the poem? And now she… she’s both the anchor and the sea. And it happened so fast. I… when you came to the hospital with mom and Jake, I felt like being stuck between two cogwheels. But the thing I said, it hasn’t changed. I never stopped loving you.”

Josh so desperately wanted him to understand it. Even if he would never see him again, even though he knew Christopher didn’t want to accept it, Josh just needed him to understand that some people are like tattoos, and there’s always enough space for more than one. Sweet Olalla understood…

Christopher slowly leaned forward and, with his elbows now on the table, he put his hand together and started rubbing his lip against the fingertips once more. Josh waited patiently. Whatever the outcome, at least he knew Taffy was giving it a thought.

“How’s your head? Are you well?” he finally said.

Josh looked at him in confusion. Did Christopher think he’d gone mental? “I…yeah, it’s healed pretty nicely. I still have headaches sometimes, but… why?”

Christopher took a deep breath. “Because I’ve been fucking worried, jerk!”

December 22nd, Zakopane; Agnieszka

Just like the last time, she was restless since the early morning. But unlike the last time, she didn’t spend hours waiting in the freezing cold. Also, no separate room for him this time. Joshua was just going to stay with her. Eulalia was basically home to him now.

Jake and his girl rented a private chalet on the opposite hill, right next the main ski slope. He was supposed to drop Joshua around five and then they’d all meet in town for dinner later. That was the plan.

It was already half past five when the bell above the main door finally chimed and a familiar figure stepped inside. She quickly jumped out of her seat behind the reception desk and ran right into his arms, nearly knocking him off.

“Ugh, sweet girl, easy!” he chuckled, hugging her back. He buried his face in her hair and stayed that way for several seconds, which wasn’t strange at all. However, she soon began to wonder about how silent he was… that was definitely strange.

Breaking the embrace at last, she was finally able to take a good look at him… and froze.

There was a nasty bruise on the left side of his chin, and his lower lip was split and swollen, making him look like he had been in a fist fight.

“Joshua, what the hell happened?”

@thewritingbeforesunrise @fleet-of-fiction @writingcold @lvnterninthenight @its-interesting-van-kleep @takenbythemadness @edgingthedarkness @myownparadise96 @gvfstuddedmajesty @josh-iamyour-mama @jazzyfigz @tripthelightfantastix @sanguinebats @wetkleenex-gvf @peaceloveunitygvf @kiszkas-canvas @fleetingjake @lizzys-sunflower @hollyco @emojakekiszka @gvfmarge @dayumclarizzel @lipstickitty @clownstarr @musicislove3389 @i-love-gvf @blankvz @psychedelectable

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m-jelly · 8 months ago

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Hello, the author. I want to suggest another idea for fan fiction. In it, the reader is a wolf werewolf and the leader of the pack. One day, for the sake of saving the pack, she is captured either by poachers, or hunters, or crazy scientists (let them be the Titans characters from Marley). In captivity, she tries to hide her fears. And he is fighting for freedom with all his might. There she also meets Levi, who is either an employee or also a prisoner. At first, she is wary of him, but over time she gets to know him better and realizes that not all people are bad. After experiencing adventures, she falls in love with him, and they have it both ways. As a result, either the man renounces his human form for her sake and becomes a leader together with the reader.

Trust is hard, but you must try.

Levi x fem!reader

Future AU, hybrids, wolf reader, fox Levi, trust, falling in love, fluff, romance, talking, mates

Levi is tasked with watching a volatile prisoner who everyone else rejects watching. When he meets you, he keeps his distance but after some time he starts talking to you. The two of you connect and realise you are destined mates. Levi helps you get released and takes care of you.

@ladycheesington @levisbrat25 @nyxiieluna @li-anne @galactict3a

@youre-ackermine @thebobaprincess @2moth-anon2 @cypidity @nbinairyn

@bts-spnlvr12 @darkstarlight82 @emilyyyy-08 @levistealeaf @pelicanpizza

@hideandgopeep @notgoodforlife @demonic-bird @searriously

The neon lights buzzed in the hall and produced an atmospheric light. Everything was spotless and clean to high standards. Cells down this hall were empty except for one, mainly because the one prisoner was volatile. When people walked down it the tapping of their shoes would echo.

For a few weeks now there had been a new prisoner and the area had been cleared because of them. Most prisoners had avoided the area and refused to look after the prisoners. Levi had been approached and asked to watch the prisoner because he was the best of the team.

Levi approached the cell and saw the frosted glass walls. "Prisoner? I'm defrosting the glass. Confirm you're appropriate." He released a sigh when something was thrown at the glass. "I'll take that as a yes."

The buttons let out a little beep with each one that was pressed. As soon as the glass was clear, Levi looked inside to see a beautiful woman with wolf ears and a fluffy tail. Looking at you in a cell in a black shirt and trousers confused him because you didn't look dangerous.

"So." He stood in front of you. "You're the prisoner scaring everyone." He eyed you. "Wolf, huh? You're rare."

You snarled at him. "Fox."

He grabbed a chair, dragged it close and sat on it facing you. "I'm your new prison guard."

You growled a bit before turning your back and sitting down. "Lucky for you."

Every day for two weeks was the same, no talking and just sitting in silence. While sitting, Levi read up on your file and saw just how bad of a life you'd had. You had gathered a group of wolves who had been ostracized and treated like scum, you cared for them and made them a strong family, but people saw wolves as a concern and violent. So, you gave yourself up to the government so your little family could be safe. The public was happy the pack leader was locked up.

"That my file?"

Levi locked eyes with you. "Yeah."

You eyed it. "Anything interesting?" A small smirk spread on your lips. "Something spark your fancy?"

He closed your file. "I'm sorry."

Confusion took over. "Sorry? What for?"

"You were just trying to protect wolves and you got fucked over." He shook his head. "It's fucked up."

You hugged your legs. "This a ploy to screw me over?"

Levi shifted off his chair and sat on the floor. "No." His ears twitched. "I understand a bit what you're feeling. The Ackerman fox clan was almost wiped out. There's only me, my mother, father, uncle and cousin left."

You placed your hand on the glass. "I'm sorry."

He turned and faced you. "I know you don't trust me, but it must be lonely in there."

"You suggesting we talk every day?"

He smiled a little. "If you want to. I wouldn't mind having a friend."

You crawled over to Levi causing him to blush hard. "Mm...okay." You sat in front of him. "You know, I've never really looked at you." Your tail flicked. "You're handsome." You tilted your head. "I want to sniff you. Something is telling me to sniff you."

Levi gulped hard as he felt something tingle inside him. "Well...maybe you can when you're due for time outside."

You laughed. "Time outside? I don't get time outside."

"I'll get you time outside, it'll take me some time though."

"I look forward to it."

You gaze up at the sky as the rain pours down on you. No words could describe how happy you were just to be outside, to feel something. Having access to outside time started about a week ago thanks to Levi.

"You'll catch a cold."

You looked over at the door to the jail and smiled at Levi leaning in the doorway. "I don't mind. If I catch something it means I can feel something."

He hurried over to you. "Well, I do mind because I care."

He pulled you close and ushered you inside. He felt electricity shoot through him because of the physical contact. It was clear the two of you had something between you, a connection. If he had his way, he would kiss you, bite you, hold you close and make love to you.

He wrapped a blanket around you as you shivered a bit. His hands rubbed up and down your arms. "You need to stay warm."

You leaned against him and inhaled deeply. "You smell good."

Levi felt his body tingle. "So do you."

You sniffed his neck and growled. "Mate." You lightly nipped his neck. "Mine."

Levi leaned closer and started sniffing, he could sense it too, you were destined mates. "Mate." He pulled back a little and looked deep into your eyes. "My mate."

You cupped his face and kissed him. "Mm."

Consumed by the link to you and the bond, he lifted you up and pressed you against the wall. Lips parted and tongues moved together as passion burned between the two of you. It was clear the two of you were strongly bonded as mates and you needed to be together.

You released Levi's lips and start crying. "Levi."

He wrapped his arms around you. "I know...I know..."

You clung tightly to him. "I don't know what to do."

He wiped your tears away. "I'll get you out of here. I'll prove to them that you're harmless and sweet. We'll be together and I'll care for you."

You smiled at him. "I can't wait."

"Well." The warden sighed. "I guess your time with us is over." He glanced over at Levi. "You proved to us she's harmless. She will live with you, but if there are any problems you are responsible."

Levi nodded. "Yes, sir."

He sighed the papers and handed them over. "All right, you're free."

Not a word came from you because a large part of you didn't believe you were truly free. It was nice that you were leaving the jail, but you were always going to be a prisoner in some sense. No matter what you did you were going to be monitored. The dark thoughts in your head broke when your mate kissed your temple while you were walking to the car.

Levi stopped by his vehicle and caressed your cheek. "I know it's not full freedom, but I won't stop fighting for you, for us."

You leaned up and kissed your lover. "I know. I love you and trust you, Levi."

A charming smile graced his kissable lips. "Thank you." He held your hands and showered them with kisses. "Now, my darling mate, it is time to go home."

You perked up at those words. "Our country home?"

He nodded. "Away from this place and the horrors you've faced here. We'll have the family and peace we talked about."

"As long as I'm with you, I'm happy."

"I love you."

You nuzzled Levi's neck. "I love you."

#levi ackerman #levi #aot levi #snk levi #aot fanfiction #levi x you #fanfic #levi fanfiction #levi x y/n #levi x reader #jelly fanfics #levi x yn #levi ackerman fanfic #levi ackerman x female reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x y/n

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frikatilhi · 4 months ago

Note

About that new interview. I now feel conflicted about my bojere shipping. Like, I'd NEVER send Bojan fucking letters about it (WTF is wrong with people??? I'm actually shocked), but does even the concept of it bother him for real, or is he okay with it as long as it's just fun and games (and not shoved in his face)? The Cyprus vacation took place after the interview and he didn't post anything about it himself. But he let Jere post at least a little bit and it was all extremely bojere heavy (i'm assuming they talked about it and bojan agreed that jere could post the things he did). So am I "allowed" to enjoy my little fanarts and fanfics about them (emphasis on fan FICTION) or should i feel bad and fear that i'm ruining a really special friendship, because some people take it way too far? 😅 From everything we've seen so far, I'm assuming that Jere does not mind the shipping (at least as long as it stays somewhat playful and not too serious). I really hope that it won't get to the point where we get no bojere content at all (even in just a friendship sense) bc some people ruined it for all of us. 🙁

RPF is fine taking the F to the RP's is not

my tl;dr under here

It's okay to feel conflicted about this stuff; we don't want to cause any harm! It's not a nice feeling to think our silliness here might make some wacko think they're on to something and inspire them to spew hate at anyone. But Bojan gets all kinds of shit thrown at him a lot, so if it wasn't this it would probably be something else, and everyone really is only responsible for their own actions. Keep it in fandom spaces and don't start believing your delulus are real, that's rpf 101.

I feel like regarding shipping the crux of it is here. After mentioning Käärijä he sort of backtracks a little: ”I’m not even talking about this situation [bojere] at all but in general, about all the lies that are being spread.”

I personally get the feeling that his beef is not about the Käärijä stuff as such, but with how lies and rumours take off online and how it results in harassment. Like how he gets letters from some wacko saying how he’s a horrible person for ignoring Jere, while in reality he’s on the phone with Jere at that same moment.

Is he against shipping in general, does it bother him? I don't think we can tell either way based on this interview. In the past both of them have seemed pretty chill about it, but who knows. If people harrass him about it, I can imagine it could get tiresome.

But he keeps speaking so fondly of his fans, and international fans, and Finland, and Jere, that I get a strong feeling that he doesn't lump us all together but is only speaking of those who "can't separate reality from entertainment". Also, based on how they talk of each other, their friendship is not affected by this but they're able to support each other when things get tough.

So I'd say, anon, that you're still "allowed" to enjoy your entertainment, as much as I'm allowed to grant you that permission 😆

#ask #how do i tag this #i wasn't gonna go deep into this one but i did have a feeling someone would ask #so for what it's worth here are my 2 cents #all my personal opinions and you're free to disagree but I don't think i'm up to a huge debate about it

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ammstify · 10 days ago

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So um... I finished Persona 3 Reload.

And I'll admit, it hit me a lot harder than I expected.

While I have my own qualms with it, primarily with the story (which its not a bad story one bit! I just wished there was more to it, and it was better built up for some parts) I loved the experience, and its... Left me crying at this moment.

And it's made me realize the importance of being alive right now.

I'm sure everyone in the bloody world knows right now what hell The United States of America is currently facing, and will continue to face. For the last week, I've been in a painful, depressive slump, afraid for everyone in my life that I love and care for...

I don't talk about my writing much here because tbh, I struggle with understanding social media. I wanted to use my Tumblr to one day show my writing, to show the plans my best friend and I have developed for the last 8 years since we met but... I've been struggling with the possibilities of what may happen in the future.

I'm afraid that with just a strike of a pen, all my writing could become illegal because it depicts two men, one cis, the other genderqueer, being in love.

I'm afraid that years of work and typing and imagining will be struck from my drive, and disappear into the endless stream of the digital sphere.

I'm afraid we will never be able to achieve our dreams, because of a choice we don't have a say in.

I'm afraid that I can't be ME, and that the people around me can't be themselves...

And I feel the same way for anyone like me or otherwise. Queer or BIPOC creators or workers, immigrants coming to my country with hopes of achieving a dream, women wanting to become something more, all stricken away because of bigotry, hatefulness, and greed. Stricken away because of people who would rather take than give to those in need...

Not even mentioning the fact that this could affect people elsewhere, I see what Muskrat is doing too. I see what influence my country has over others, and it makes me mad... People deserve happiness, freedom, choice, and the right to exist, and with every news post

It's silly to say, but when I was going through the final month, and looking at the uprising of the Nyx cult? Seeing the way people were so quickly being swept by it, by the lies Takaya was spreading, by the fear overtaking folks as those they love started to believe in this "big death" that was taking them? It made me think of what many people are experiencing right now.

This constant barrage of fear, of uncertainty, wondering what's going to happen as the future is left unpredictable... Watching as people fall to this cultish, abhorrent behavior, overlooking those in need, denying reality, insisting "oh it wasn't a Nazi salute" and for what? Egg prices????

It hit me hard, really hard, and through the week of me playing I felt disheartened, wondering if our homes and towns and cities will end up like that... Places filled with hatred and apathy, filled with trash, rising crimes against the innocent, people dying before their lives have even begun but...

Then, I fought the final boss, and I did the usual endgame rounds of talking to people, seeing how their lives ended up. And not only did these social links, these people I helped achieve their dreams and happiness, I saw this fictional city and people heal.

And seeing all that?

It makes me want to live.

It makes me want to continue creating in spite of my fears. To work hard an achieve my dreams, no matter the cost. To continue doing my best and stand up for the happiness of those that I love, so that we all may have a future, proudly standing under the sun, hand in hand.

And my message to people? To the lgbtq+ community struggling with solace? The immigrants in BIPOC in fear? The women in pain?

Live.

Live and do the things that make you the most happiest. Don't let the world tell you how to live, don't let those in power break you down, don't give UP!

Things may seem bleak now, but your existence and will to live and fight back is stronger than any force in this world.

Maybe this vent is dumb, maybe i'll be harassed to no end, but this story made me want to live. And I know there are people out there that rely on even the littlest of things that make them want to live!

We are all in this together, and even though I can't help the way I want to... Maybe this post will motivate someone who can.

So yeah, that's all I wanted to say.

For now, I'm just gonna keep on living, and write my goddamn heart out.

#vent post #persona series #persona 3 #persona 3 reload #us politics #lgbtq community #trans community #transgender #bipoc #writing

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sophieinwonderland · 4 months ago

Note

The Republican Party shouldn't be allowed any political power as it is now tbh. The Democratic Party is NOT perfect, but the GOP straight up lies and spreads misinformation, loves to take away human rights (abortion and LGBT+ rights for example), and just don't like reality in general (conspiracy theorists are everywhere in the GOP). They weren't always like this (I could respect John McCain for example), and there are probably a few exceptions in the party, but today they have become the village idiot party.

Meanwhile, conservatives where I'm from are pro-choice, pro LGBT+ rights (the previous party leader of the conservative party was a gay married man even, and very popular), pro doing something about climate change, and are generally good people that cares about the people.

I want to add that I don't hate right-wingers (though I generally don't agree with them), but the right wing politicians in the US are generally the types of people you don't want ruling a country in the 21st century.

That, in my opinion, is the #1 reason to vote for The Democratic Party in this election. Because the GOP don't genuinely care about the people and reality. Vote these people out until actual good conservatives come along.

All of this!

Do you know what I think really best to demonstrates the current Republican party though?

Part of the Affordable Care Act, when it passed, included a Medicaid expansion. This was essentially free money for the states provided by the federal government. It's money that would go into their healthcare systes. Money that would go into their hospitals. Money that would pay for treatments for people who desperately needed it. And money that would have ultimately benefited the local economies in these states.

Republicans couldn't have that. The Republican governors in red states refused to accept the Medicaid expansion. Because doing so would make the Affordable Care Act look good. You can't spend years fear-mongering about Obamacare and how terrible it is, and then allow it to actually save people's lives in the states where you need people to vote for you.

The Republican party has become a party that exists to maintain power. They don't want power to help the people. They want to manipulate the people to help them maintain their power.

And to do that, rather than try to actually help people improve their lives, they whip people into a state of fear. They present enemies around every corner that people need to be afraid of. They need to make people believe a fiction where America is being invaded, where our cities are war zones, where LGBT people are grooming their children, and migrants are eating their pets!

They will tank the economy every single time that they are in power, leave Democrats to clean up the mess, then blame it on these imaginary enemies they made up.

And as was proven by their refusal to accept the Medicaid expansion, they don't actually care if they have to kill their own constituents to maintain their power.

#Republicans #Democrats #political #US politics #Donald Trump #Kamala Harris #US election #republicans #us politics #politicians #politics #affordable care act #Obamacare #Medicaid #red states #election 2024 #presidential election #us elections #plurals for Harris

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kuramirocket · 2 years ago

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Why are antis like this. They always straight up lie about proshippers and the proshipping community. It must be the self projection.

Proshipping literally means ship and let ship. Let people enjoy fictional content even if you personally find it distasteful and disgusting. It's why tags, filters and the block button exist. Proshipping is inherently also an anti censorship and anti harrasment stance.

There is NO underlying malicious intent of being a proshipper. Proshippers are NOT pedophiles or predators.

This isn't the first time antis spread lies and fear mongering such as the above. Antis have twisted and lied about its actual meaning so much. It's why so many people don't know or understand what proshipping and being a proshipper mean. But again, proshipping has only ever had one meaning as I said in the second paragraph not whatever lies antis spew.

I'll also say it once more, this is why it's important to teach children and others the red flags, signs and tactics that actual predators would use to lure in children. This way people actually have the tools and knowledge to stay safe no matter what online community/spaces they are in.

#proship #anti anti #antis dni #proshippers please interact #proship safe #anti censorship #pro fiction #proshipping

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gryficowa · 6 months ago

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Boycott!

Yes, Israelis, apart from watermelon, have appropriated pizza… We are waiting for shusi and chips, or even fries

In short, the Zionists' lies become so absurd that they begin to steal the achievements of other countries to create a false national identity (Typical feature of colonizers)

Now that I have your attention:

(I'll try to find my post, but I'll give the link in text form because of the link limit)

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vague-humanoid · 4 months ago

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Debunking conspiracy theories takes time away from recovery efforts

As rescue work continues and authorities try to separate fact from fiction, the conspiracy theories are not helping. Elected leaders from both parties have had to set the record straight and urge people not to give into fear and rumor.

“If everyone could maybe please put aside the hate for a bit and pitch in to help, that would be great,” posted Glenn Jacobs, the retired professional wrestler known as Kane, who is now the Republican mayor of Knox County, Tennessee. Jacobs’ post was intended to rebut rumors that workers from the Federal Emergency Management Agency were seizing relief supplies from private citizens.

Many of the conspiracy theories focus on hard-hit North Carolina, a state key to winning the White House. Rumors circulated that FEMA was raiding storm donations and withholding body bags, forcing local hospitals to stack the bodies of victims. One claim suggested federal authorities would condemn the entire town of Chimney Rock and prohibit resettlement in order to commandeer a valuable lithium mine nearby.

False claims of blocked relief flights and aid withheld from Republicans

Elon Musk, the owner of Tesla, X and SpaceX, posted that private relief flights to North Carolina were being blocked by the Federal Aviation Administration, a claim dismissed as false by Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg.

Despite the tradition of Democrats and Republicans putting aside politics for disaster response, many conspiracy theories suggest Democrats such as President Joe Biden or North Carolina Gov. Roy Cooper are intentionally withholding aid from Republicans. Trump has pushed the claim, as has North Carolina’s lieutenant governor, Mark Robinson, the embattled GOP nominee for governor.

“They’re being treated very badly in the Republican areas,” Trump told Fox News, ignoring reports and photo and video evidence of recovery efforts underway throughout the region. “They’re not getting water, they’re not getting anything.”

Conspiracy theorist Alex Jones endorsed Trump’s fact-free allegation. Jones, the founder of InfoWars, popularized the idea that the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting in Connecticut that killed 20 children in 2012 was faked. “Exclusive: Victims of Hurricane Helene Confirm The Federal Government is Purposely Blocking Rescuers and Stealing Aid In an Attempt to Keep Deep Red Areas From Voting,” Jones posted Thursday on X.

Disinformation campaigns by China and Russia amplify the misleading claims

State-run media and disinformation campaigns run by China and Russia have amplified false and misleading claims about the response to the storm. Both countries have used social media and state news stories to criticize responses to past U.S. natural disasters, part of a larger effort to stoke division and distrust among Americans.

State and local officials from both parties have condemned the conspiracy theories as rumors, saying the focus should be on recovery, not political division and hearsay. Responding to the hoaxes is taking up time that should go toward assisting victims, said North Carolina state Sen. Kevin Corbin, a Republican who urged his constituents not to give into hoaxes.

“Friends can I ask a small favor?” Corbin posted Thursday on Facebook. “Will you all help STOP this conspiracy theory junk that is floating all over Facebook and the internet... Please don’t let these crazy stories consume you.”

After Robinson, the GOP candidate for North Carolina governor, posted that state officials had not prepared for the storm, a spokesman for the governor accused Robinson of mounting “an online disinformation campaign.” North Carolina officials say the response to Helene is the largest in state history, including thousands of members of the National Guard and other recovery workers, millions of meals, dozens of aircraft and more than 1,000 chainsaws.

Trump has tried to tie the hurricane’s aftermath to immigration, a leading issue of his campaign. He falsely claimed that FEMA had run out of money because all of it had gone to programs for undocumented immigrants.

The agency’s funding for disaster aid is stretched, but that is because of the many parts of the country dealing with the effects of hurricanes, wildfires and other calamities. Disaster aid is funded separately from other Department of Homeland Security programs that support immigration-related spending.

Far-out tales of space lasers, fake snow and weather control technology

Bizarre stories proposing that the government used weather control technology to aim the hurricane at Republican voters quickly racked up millions of views on X and other platforms.

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, R-Ga., endorsed the idea, posting Wednesday on X: “Yes they can control the weather. It’s ridiculous for anyone to lie and say it can’t be done.”

Far-out tales of space lasers, fake snow and weather control technology -- sometimes tinged with antisemitism — have spread after recent natural disasters, including a snowstorm in Texas and last year’s wildfire in Maui.

Experts who study conspiracy theories say big events like disasters — or the Sept. 11 attacks or the COVID-19 pandemic — create perfect conditions for conspiracy theories to spread because large numbers of anxious people are eager to find explanations for shocking events.

Responding to the volume of false claims about Helene, the Red Cross urged people to consult trustworthy sources of information and to think twice before reposting conspiracy theories.

“Sharing rumors online without first vetting the source and verifying facts ultimately hurts people — people who have just lost their homes, neighborhoods, and, in some cases, loved ones,” the organization wrote in a public plea.

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frostironfudge · 2 years ago

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Silhouettes In The Spotlight - Bucky Barnes - Chapter Sixteen

Summary: Bucky Barnes has worked immensely hard to have a filmography expanding across genres and garnering accolades from critics, peers and fans. Y/N Y/L/N, with her debut novel (fan-fiction turned New York Times Bestseller) has two other best sellers under her belt. Next is her highly anticipated fourth book lined up for release. SHEILD Productions has acquired the film rights to her debut novel and they want Bucky Barnes to play the lead (aka himself) by any means necessary. This story is about angst, lust, heartbreak, and love. After all fairytales only exist in books and movies right?

Warnings: fluff, smidge of angst(nothing major), feels, sm/ut, dirt y-talk, or/al f receiving

Pairing: Actor!Bucky Barnes x Plus Size!Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3.6k || Dividers: @firefly-graphics

Main Masterlist || Fic Masterlist || AO3 || Fic Playlist

Chapter Fifteen || Epilogue (TBA)

HEADLINES:

Who Was The Best Dressed At The Starlit Premiere of Steve Rogers’ Ghosted? Take A Look At Our List.

Are Y/N-James Red Carpet Official? Maybe Not! Bucky Barnes Walks Friend’s Premiere Carpet Solo.

Fans Have Gone Into A Meltdown, Bucky Barnes and Loki Laufeyson Are Just The Tip Of The Cameo Iceberg In Ghosted

Dolores Launches Podcast After Win Against Alexander Pierce, ‘Raise Your Voice’ Ratings Through The Roof As Panellists Range From Big Names Of Hollywood To People Needing A Platform To Raise Their Voice.

Sharon Carter Issues Public Apology To Atone For Her Scathing Comments And Support Of Horrible Hollywood Executive.

Ace and Loki No Longer Together, Old Pictures Of The Couple Resurface As Fans Are Not So Shocked At The Pair Calling It Quits.

Author Y/N Y/L/N’s Fans Left In A Lurch Over ITIMYIMDO Movie, Is It Happening Or Not?

Here Is What Director Natasha Romanoff Said Six Months Since The Project Has Shut Down In A Recent Podcast Hosted By Dolores.

You had noticed a change in Bucky. It wasn’t a bad change just it left you confused but he distracted you enough that you would forget about it. Now, however, as you watch his cameo in Ghosted; a sort of olive branch extended towards your boyfriend and Loki by Steve.

Bucky’s hand on your thigh and the smirk on his face illuminated by the movie playing on the screen affirm your suspicions. He meets your gaze, raising a brow when you narrow your eyes at him.

“Don’t act coy.” You warn him, he feigns innocence yet again. The man shrugs then gazes back as he squeezes your thigh.

“Bucky.” Your palm covers his larger one.

He ignores you, watching his scene play out.

You lean in closer, “Or should I say, ‘God’?”

His sharp inhale has you smirk, “Is this why you always got even more cocky when I moaned ‘oh God’? Did you pretend I was calling for you? Praying to my God?” You tug on his earlobe.

“Feather.” He warns as you trail your fingers along his inner thigh, you trace them back to his knee.

“Yes, God?”

“Feather, I will not hesitate to fuck you right here in this corner.” He uses a warning tone.

“Is that a promise?” You tease, you watch him meet your challenging gaze.

You watch as he slides down, kneeling, spreading your thighs apart. You scramble to shut them. He wouldn’t allow it.

“Bucky!” Your hissed whisper turns into a whimper as he cups your mound, the slit of your dress giving him access.

“Shh, Feather. We won’t get caught, that is if you pray to your God.” He whispers then kisses your knee before parting your legs, eyes moving between your cunt and you, a pleased expression on his face illuminated by the screen.

You look around the corner, seats were in the last row, no one was along your row. It was perfectly private. You feel his warm breath against your already dripping folds. Warmth but the fear of being caught also coils in your stomach.

Bucky cups your chin making you look at him, brow raised in question.

“Have you seen yourself tonight?” You reason, he chuckles, returning and placing a kiss to your clit. You bite down on your lip. Hand gripping his hair and the handle of your seat.

Bucky moans at your taste on his tongue, lapping at every drop. The way your thighs squeezed his head only urged him onward. Fuck, you taste divine. He hadn’t expected himself to enjoy the moment you had uttered the three words when he was between your thighs right after shooting his cameo.

The whimpered and greedy ‘Oh God yes,’ at first it was something he found amusing that it turned him on so deeply. Slowly he found himself priding in you calling out to one of the names he was given.

Raising his right hand to your bitten lips, he watches you whine low, noticing the same ring he wears on screen, your lips part like his good girl. Your mouth is warm, wet and so greedy as you coat his fingers.

His fingers slowly sink into your needy cunt, clenching around his dexterous fingers. Bucky teases you, moving slowly. Nipping at your folds when you tug at his hair demanding for more.

He toys with you, bringing you close to your edge and then distracting you with soft kisses and the feeling of his beard rubbing along your thighs.

“Please,” Your whisper is sounding fucked out when all he’s done is tease you.

“Please what, Angel?” He smirks when you clench around him yet again, “You like that name?”

“Please, James–,”

“Not what I want to hear tonight, Y/N.” He pinches your clit.

How no one has heard the two of you baffles you, but the way you feel full yet empty and so needy it takes a back pedal.

“Please, my God, please.” Your mouth parts as his fingers pick up pace, “Sing for your God, Angel.” Metal fingers move past your lips, you moan around them as the sounds of explosions fill the theatre.

Your arousal floods his mouth, Bucky moans more, savouring every last drop. Licking you clean, he then sits back in his seat, licking the remnants of you off of his fingers.

“You’re a menace.” You whisper, holding your hand out for your panties.

“Oh you will get those back after round two in the car or bathroom whichever we make it to, first or maybe we stay back here.” He promises, palm wrapping around your neck and he brings you closer for a deep kiss.

Boneless is how you feel when you fall against him.

“God, Bucky,” You mewl against his shoulder as the coarse hairs graze your clit.

The deep groan against your sternum has you jolt in Bucky’s arms. Aftershocks thrum through you. The entire evening spent falling apart for each other.

His palms squeeze your hips before they trace up your back, cobalt eyes trace your flushed face. Gaze travelling along your kiss bitten skin to where you sheath him.

Bucky moans yet again at the mess coating the two of you.

“Feather, you’re beautiful.” He cups your cheeks, you laugh still out of breath in the slightest.

Bucky smiles at the sound he causes, your nose brushes against his when you move to kiss him.

Sparks bloom in your chest, your heart surging at the man who harbours it within his hands is yours, that he loves you back, and is everything you hoped for and more. Your hands move over his chest, left hand tracing over the scars of his shoulder not shying away, not retracting your touch but loving every inch of him.

Bucky runs his fingers over your hair, drawing you closer. Fingertips move along your back and arm, thumb tracing over your quill tattoo. He sighs in content, the woman he loves in his arms.

A rumbling sound has the two of you pause. Bucky laughs, cheeks turning red as his hunger manifests.

“Cmon I think we left the take out on the kitchen island.” You move to get off of him, Bucky spins your world around. You’re laying on your back staring up at him. Mirth decorates his features.

“James.” You’re about to chastise him, but he cuts you off by kissing your forehead, then your temple, cheeks, your chin and then nose.

“You make me very, very happy, Feather.” Bucky declares, kissing your lips again to seal his words.

“I love you.” Is all your tightening throat allows you to say, “I love you so much, James.” you cup his face between your palms.

“You’ve made me feel happiness that I never thought I could feel again.” He says, eyes forming tears.

“You’ve made me feel happiness that I only thought existed in the fictional worlds I create. You, Bucky Barnes deserve every bit of happiness to be yours always.” You wipe the tear from his cheek.

“It’s with you.” He leans into your touch, forehead touching yours.

“By your side.” You promise him.

Bucky’s lips find yours again, moulding you against every inch of him, needing you close.

“You know, I admire how you stood up against a bully like that pathetic low life.”

You look up from your laptop to the person speaking. The coffee shop was supposed to be secluded. The person wears a uniform, name tag reading their designation of barista, name Nandini.

“It wasn’t me alone.” Your statement is true, you weren’t alone, several before you, several after you and several kept safe now.

“True, but if you didn’t agree to stand up it would be one less person, maybe one less testimony would make the difference. I know it’s been seven months now. I um, didn’t mean to bring up any bad memories. I actually… I used to read avidly, but I well life caught up,” They look down and you notice a worn copy of the book that led to your journey as an author.

“I know how that feels.” You add with a gentle smile, “Would you like me to sign it?”

“If you don’t mind, I, there is a lot in this book that I connected with, my boyfriend he stays continents away. Sometimes I felt you were writing about us. You wrote about the struggles, not just the happy stuff.” She chuckles handing you her book.

You open the title page, writing her name and a short message and handing it back. Nandini smiles looking at the message.

‘Dear Nandini,

Rhys and Doll combated the distance, so can you and your love.

Sometimes life gets hard but it gets better, I promise you that much.

Thank you for reading my words, thank you for giving this book your love. Most of all, thank you for your kind words.

Love,

Y/N.’

“Thank you.” She says walking away.

Your phone rings just as you pack up your things an hour later.

Natasha’s contact displays, you answer, “Hey–,”

“How soon can you get to BW?” She cuts you off.

“Um, Is everything okay? I can be there in twenty minutes…” You look down at your watch.

“Okay, see you!” The line cuts off, you stare at the device.

Bucky was still filming for a movie in Philadelphia. You text him about your plans. Sam replies from his phone saying the shot is ongoing but he would let him know.

When you head into BW it’s all bustling, the aftermath of SHIELD turning into HYDRA then its conversion into Hill Productions when Maria took over had opened up space at BW to seize the opportunity. Over the course of the past seven months several changes had occurred, right from the management changes at the production house to the freedom finally handed over to Steve and Bucky.

The money they had been paying over years to get out was reimbursed to them, statements issued by the executives taking responsibility for exploiting them and taking accountability while easily blaming Alexander so they would not be penalised worse than him.

Yelena waves you over to the conference room while attending a call, the room is dark and she urges you to sit on the chair and the flat screen TV illuminates, music plays and then you watch as Bucky’s scenes for your book adaptation play.

Watching him as Rhys never failed to enrapture you, his scenes with Loki move you and then you notice it’s the first video-call scene with Doll. You frown, noticing it has footage of you.

From the practice scenes because Dolores was not one bit professional. The video continues, with scenes with Ace, Loki and Steve as well. Even the video call with Tony Stark is edited to show one interaction between Doll and himself.

The video ends and the lights turn on, you turn to face Natasha, Maria, Nick, Yelena, Loki and Steve. Bucky and Sam’s faces are on an iPad via a video call you stare at them all blankly.

“So?” Nat grins at you hopefully.

“So?” You counter, looking at the blank screen and then back at her.

“What do you think?” Steve asks, you shrug.

“I’m confused, are we going to commence shooting again? Or are we releasing this for the fans?” your response has everyone facepalm.

Nick Fury stares at you, “We want you to play Doll.”

There is a beat of silence broken by your nervous laugh. They cannot be serious.

“I’m not an actress.” You reason at the absurdity.

“Y/N, you’re the perfect Doll.” Natasha adds, “This is what you all were supposed to see at the meeting.”

“Nat, you have to be joking–,”

“She isn’t, you’re perfect, Feather. Longer footage was shown to a test audience and they loved you.” Bucky adds, you stare at him.

“Bucky, I, this is, there are scenes that are harder than these…” You point to the TV.

“We even showed test audience footage of these same scenes with Dolores. They thought you had better chemistry and timing with all members of the cast. This wasn’t even when Bucky and you were actively together.” Natasha adds on.

“We believe you can master those with an acting coach.” Yelena offers, you stare at her.

“I’m… I’m just a writer.” You stare at your hands.

“Nat, play the first meet scene.” Bucky requests and watches as you look up at the screen.

This was your favourite scene to write, them finally meeting, you watch as Bucky and you click within the roles. It's not you and Bucky on screen, no. It’s Rhys and Doll, showing their love story to those who want to watch, bringing their love alive for the world to see.

“You see what I mean?” Bucky’s voice is what you latch onto, you nod.

“What about the other… well scenes…” Your eyes move to Steve and back to Bucky.

“Intimacy coaches and we can always fade to black on the sex scenes.” Natasha assures you, “Look we’ll make this as PG-13, we just want you on board. This is your story to write and show. The writers are willing to rewrite. It will take a while but we can recommence shooting. Of course the entirety would have to be done again since this is tainted production house footage.”

“What if I say no?” You ask, Nat’s smile falters but she keeps a smaller one in place.

“Well then we would start to search for an actress to play Doll to her authentic description as the author wrote.” She smiles, “It’s no pressure at all.”

“Are you sure?” You look at the established actors in the room and then at Nat and then the producers.

Finally you look at Yelena.

“I think you can do this, plus after the awful reviews we need people to forget you’re an author before reminding them with your next release.” She winks at you, the joke of finding another job was long running since the plan was set in motion to tank the ratings of your previous release.

“Alright, but this is the only movie I will ever act in, understood?” You warn everyone as a cheer breaks through.

“That's my girl.” Bucky cheers, sending a flying kiss your way.

Over A Year Later.

“Alright people, places, good, good.” Natasha calls out, watching the monitors, she gives you an encouraging smile and takes a deep breath, “Lights, Camera, Action!”

Palms sweaty, you watch as Dolores stalks closer to Bucky. Kate watches along as the entire scene plays out.

Expletives dripping from her vocabulary and Loki apologising profusely. Bucky pushes Dolores away and notices the video call.

You cut the call, not wanting to deal with the ordeal. Pushing your ringing phone aside the blue eyed man’s picture turned down and curling up against your pillow, tears brimming over.

You push away Kate’s soothing hand.

“Cut!” Natasha yells, “Well done everyone, I think we have it, so this brings all distant scenes to an end. We can pack up for the day.”

She praises giving thanks to everyone.

You wipe your tears. Sniffling as Bucky comes onto set to hand you the box of tissues.

You look up to him for notes, he’d been your acting tutor over the past year along with other professional coaches. Although Loki had been the one to teach you how to cry on cue.

“Perfect.” He wipes an escaping tear, Kate coos at the two of you.

“You guys are so cute.” She beams, “Just who I pictured Rhys and Doll to be, dreams do come true.”

“Several of your dreams are coming true, Kate Bishop.” Yelena’s voice smoothes over, a knowing smile on her face as Kate and her exchange glances.

“Yelena,” Kate nods, swallowing and tucking her fringe behind her ear.

“Kate,” Yelena sends a smirk her way.

You look up at Bucky, he nods, reading your mind about the two of them. He was glad Kate had been hired to play Doll’s best friend replacing Ace. They were approached to play the role but backed out after apologising. Projects weren’t scarce for them. Easily finding work on the enemies to lovers book turned into a mini series penned by you.

Kate walks off set, her shoulder brushing against Yelena’s making the latter grin sweetly. You coo at her and she glares at you. Bucky laughs heartily.

“I came to check in, tomorrow are intimate scenes with Steve.” She reminds you and you nod.

“We have rehearsal scheduled this afternoon with the intimacy coordinator, closed set.” You find Bucky’s hand and he kisses your palm.

“You’re going to be okay, it’s been switched around so no nudity for anyone.” He explains, it was a part of his new contracts now, he wouldn’t be doing heavy loaded sex scenes in any of his remaining projects.

“You’re going to be there right?” You ask yet again.

“As long as you want me to be there, Feather. Plus if you get done with Steve earlier we can practise.” Bucky wiggles his brows, you giggle.

“Practise our scenes or practise–,”

“You know what I want to practise.” He huffs, cheeks slightly red.

“You’re still scandalised!” It amuses you, you didn’t think the scene you had come up with was that spicy in nature.

“Feather, I did not expect that to come out of your mind.” He blinks then shakes his head in disbelief.

“May I add something to your thoughts of that scene?” You ask, with the way he licks his lips you know he’s thinking of it.

“You inspired the dirty talk oh and that thing with the choking and then him fucking into her even when she’s all worn out by him, asking for one more, I know you got one more in you baby. Then when she says, ‘Do you have one more in you? Want to fill me up to the brim? Till you make a mess of my pretty thighs?’ You’re the muse baby–,”

“Fuck.” He groans, “Don’t,”

“Why not?” You say teasingly, leading him to his trailer.

“Because you aren’t leaving my bed. For however long it takes,” Bucky has you trapped between the door of his trailer and his strong chest.

Towering over you, you watch as his darkened gaze drinks you in, teeth sinking into his bottom lip.

“How many did she give him?” His knuckles trace from your cheekbone to throat.

“F-Four,” You stutter as he leans in closer.

Bucky smirks, watching the way you respond to him, “I think you have six for me, Feather.”

You mould against him as his lips touch yours, arms pulling you close.

“You are sure you’re comfortable?” Steve questions. It is a flashback scene between his character and yours; making out that would end with Steve’s shirt on the floor and the screen fading away.

You look from the couch where the scene would take place to Steve and nod. Then gulp. Nerves getting to you.

“Hey, look at me,” Steve walks over to you, “You can do this okay? We practised the kiss, it doesn’t look awkward anymore. You’ve been training for this, if you want we can have Bucky to this scene and CGI–,”

“We don’t have the budget for CGI.” You shake your head amused.

“I’ll get on board as a producer.” He winks grinning as you laugh.

“Places!” Natasha calls out.

Your eyes move to Bucky, he raises his thumbs to cheer you on.

“You okay? Need more time?” Steve enquiers.

“No I’m okay, let’s get this done.” You square your shoulders, taking a deep breath.

Steve and you are positioned outside the door in front of the camera. Wanda would be following in as the scene was more raw and frantic. The shot was to represent the first love and betrayal doll experienced.

Flowing from the couch makeout to the hotel scene where she catches Steve on a date with another woman.

“Lights! Camera! Action!”

HEADLINES:

Almost Two Years Later I Think I Met You In My Dreams Once Is About To Hit Theatres Here Is Everything You Need To Know About The Filming Of The Movie

Stars Who Were Almost Offered Roles In Author Y/N’s ITIMYIMDO

Some Fans Not Pleased About Author Turning Into Actress, See The Posts Here

Bucky Barnes Announces Break From The Silver Screen, Will Return To Promote Slated To Release Movies

Steve Rogers Back At The Writer’s Desk! See Snippet Of Murder Mystery He Is Said To Co-Author With Y/N

Bucky Barnes Shares Pictures Of Y/N On His Instagram And Look At The Sweet Puppies They Have Adopted

Powerhouse Duo Kate Bishop and Yelena Belova Share Snaps From Their Wedding! Steve Rogers Attends With Mystery Date

Loki Laufeyson Spotted Out Celebrating Latest TV Show Success. Awards Line Up On His Mantle At The Emmys. Friends Join The Actor In This Happy Moment

A.N.: thank you to everyone reading till now we just have the epilogue to go!

Taglist: @stevesmewmew @elle14-blog1 @crazyunsexycool@sebsgirl71479 @pandaxnienke @slutforsexyseabass@eclecticpatrolroadlawyer @pandaxnienke @vampire7595 @buckyinluv @almostcontentcreator @calwitch

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