#people sell them for like $8-15 each

[deep-sea-anemone]

Jeez, I forgot how dangerous collecting things is

[sweetandglovelyart]

A Kirby OC Ask Game!

Thought I’d make one of these for people to reblog and send each other asks about their OCs. You can send a number or an emoji, I’ve included both for all of the asks here so people can send whatever is easier for them.

1. 🎮: What Kirby game or what point in the Kirby series timeline would your OC first appear?

2. 🤝: Does your OC have any important connections to any canon characters?

3. 🏠: Where does your OC live?

4. 🪄: Does your OC use magic? If they do, how did they gain their magical abilities?

5. 🍎: What are some foods that your OC enjoys eating?

6. 🗣️: If you could cast a voice actor to voice your OC who would you choose?

7. ❤️: What is your OC’s love language (Words of affirmation, Quality time, Physical touch, Receiving gifts, or Acts of service)?

8. 🏳️‍🌈: What is your OC’s sexual orientation?

9. 🪪: Does your OC go by a nickname? If they do, what is their full name?

10. 👑: Is your OC royalty?

11. 🗡️: What is your OC’s weapon of choice?

12. 💏: Is your OC in a relationship?

13. 🙅: Does your OC have any enemies?

14. 🍱: If your OC had a dish themed around them at the Kirby Cafe, what would it be?

15. 🧸: If your OC had any merchandise themed around them, what would it be?

16. 👶: Does your OC have children? If they don’t have any children, would they like to have some one day?

17. 🎨: What are your OC’s artistic skills? Are they a good artist or is art something that they struggle with?

18. 💎: Does your OC like to collect anything?

19. 🛒: If your OC owned a shop, what would they sell?

20. 🤫: Does your OC have any secrets?

21. 🃏: Is your OC a good liar, or is it easy for others to tell when they’re not being truthful?

22. 🪽: Can your OC fly? If they can fly, how do they do it?

23. 👍: What is your OC most proud of?

24. 🥺: What is your OC’s biggest regret?

25. ⭐️: If your OC got their own spinoff game what would it be about and what would the gameplay be like?

[kittykattropicanna]

would you please be able to go into more detail about your prison penpal!simon? why is reader doing it, how did they choose simon (if they had a choice at all), the sorts of letters they exchange? and if they’re any sort of smutty bits for them too? your mechanic au has me absolutely feral beyond words so seeing this made me so excited.

Omg you’re my first asked AHHHHHH I want to scream thank you so much!!!!! 

Absolutely I can go into detail about PrisonPenPal!Simon :3  I can't get out of my mind how deprived he is argh!!! >:( all this time alone, and now that you're here writing him pretty little letters, he can't imagine life without you :3

TW: mentions of murder, jail, corruption kink, breading kink, masterbation (Reader & Simon), public masterbation (kinda), smut, not sub!simon but he does cum in his pants, ahhh you're both just so obsessed with each other :3

PrisonPenPal!Simon masterlist

Regular masterlist

I’ll give you a little back story to why Si actually ended up in jail…

I feel like he retied, left SAS and tried to integrate back into civilian life but failed miserably. He started going out to bars and drinking pretty heavily. The alcohol made him angry, he never was outwardly violent, but everyone could tell he was just a very dark, tortured guy that sat in the back of the bar every night and drank himself stupid. It was like an unwritten rule that nobody bothered him. His a massive guy who’s ex military, if you had half a brain you would leave him alone. 

One night he was leaving the pub and this stupid, stupid 18 year old kid thought it would be funny to try square up to him and impress his friends. 

It didn’t matter how many times they told him to quit it and leave Simon alone, he still trudged up to him with his head held high and chest puffed.  

This kid came up behind Si and punched him in that back of the head. It wasn’t a good punch by any means but it was more then enough to drive Simons drunk brain into utter rage. 

He turned around and punched this kid straight in the head. He went down like a stack of bricks, head making direct impact with the concrete floor, killing him instantly. 

The kid was only 18, he had so much life left to live…..

Of course Si felt absolutely disgusted in himself, he couldn’t believe what he had done. Killed a poor kid who made a stupid decision and ultimately ended his life as well. 

He handed himself over the the police without hesitation. He went quietly and respectfully, cooperated with the police throughout the whole trial, never redirecting blame onto the kid or made it harder then it needed to be. 

He pled guilty for involuntary manslaughter and assault. Gaz, Johnny and Price all pitched in to get him the best defence lawyer humanly possible……ultimately, it worked. Even though the general public was outraged at his light sentence. 

Simons lawyer claimed the punch was in self defence. Someone attacking him from behind also trigged his PTSD resulting in Simon not being able to control his actions in that moment. 

These defences along with him serving in the military for 15+ years and cooperating with the authorities got him 8 years in prison, his sentence was quickly reduced to 4 because of his good behaviour. 

It wasn’t an ideal situation by any means, but it was the best case scenario with the cards he was dealt. 

But lets fast forward to the present….. How did you decide to actually start writing to an inmate? How did you even find out about it?

I have this really cute idea that maybe you were walking through the shopping centre and there was one of those pop up markets that sit in the middle of everything, you know, with the really annoying people that flag you down and you have to awkwardly not make eye contact and walk past them while they’re try and sell you stuff?

Yeah, one of them. This specific stand kinda caught your eye though, It was called “Write An Inmate”

You talked to the guy at the stand about what exactly “Write An Inmate” was and he explained that he was part of the program when he was locked up, how much it helps inmates get through their sentence, helps connect them to the outside world and genuinely just keeps them hopeful. 

First off you were a little hesitant…..speaking to someone who’s in jail because they broke the law sounded a little scary…. 

But hell, its a start of a new year and taking some time out of your day every once in a while to write a short letter to help keep someones hopes up is the least you can do. 

Besides! One of your childhood best friends big brothers went to jail and he wasn’t a bad guy! One of your new years resolutions was to spread more kindness and this is just a perfect way to do so!

Once you got home, you look up the website on the brochure that was given to you and quickly start scrolling through inmates.

They all had profiles with information about them. You couldn’t see what they were in for, but you could see other information like their name, age, date they signed up for the program, time served/time until they get out, amount of letters they have received, a short description of who they are/what they like and a few photos showcasing what they look like. 

You scrolled through a few but they all seemed to have gotten hundreds of letters, you wanted to write someone who wasn’t getting flooded every week with letters, maybe send a letter to someone who could use a pick me up. 

Clicking on the last page you scrolled to the very bottom and click on the last inmate before it even had time to load. 

Once the page opened the name “Simon Riley” appeared on your screen

After looking through his profile a wave of sadness rolled over you 

Name: Simon Riley, most people call me Ghost  Age: 36 Joined: December 26th, 2021 Letters Received: 0 Time served: 3 and a half years  Sentence ends: Year and a half  Description: ex military. I like dogs, big ones not small ones, the outdoors, playing cards and motorcycles. The first thing I want to do when I get out is to eat a steak. 

Attached was three photos. I won’t even lie, they’re definitely dad selfies from different angles HAHAHA they’re such grainy photos too, like they’ve been taken on a 10 year old android. 

Two of the selfies are him with a black balaclava on and the last one was of his face without anything covering it, but again it so grainy you can’t really make his facial features out. 

Simon had joined the program two years ago and hadn't received one letter. You felt horrible, he joined the day after Christmas probably hoping to receive something, anything, but not one person took the time to write him….. 

So obviously Simon was going to be your prisoner pen pal, how could he not be…..

I think the letters start off pretty innocently tbh, you don’t start writing to Simon with the intention of starting any sort of sexual or romantic relationship, it truly is out of the goodness of you’re heart, you sweet girl :(

Simon had totally forgotten about the program honestly, imagine his shock when the prison guard threw him a letter. 

When he frowned and asked who its from the guard just shrugged and said “write an inmate program” and walked off completely unfazed. 

But again, starts out super innocent, things like “I saw that you like big dogs, what’s your favourite breed?” and “what’s your favourite card game? I know how to play blackjack but I’m not very good haha”

I’d like to think you don’t even disclose your gender or name at the start. Keeping everything under lock and key. 

Simon also answers back with pure intentions at first, he has an inkling you may be a women because the hand writing is wayyy to pretty and delicate to come from a man. 

But again! He doesn’t get his hopes up, it could be an old granny for all he knows, but he can’t shake the idea that maybeeeee it could be someone a little more his type, ya know ;)

After a couple weeks of writing letters back and forth you feel like you’re getting to know him a little better. He asks you to call him Simon, not Ghost and he starts writing the cheesiest dad jokes at the bottom of every letter. 

“Two fish are in a tank, one turns to the other and asks “do you know how to drive this thing?” a little army humour for ya’ :)”

His so charming in such a rough and rugged sort of way you know? It sounds silly to say, I mean, you’ve never met him! But the way his handwriting is complete chicken scratch and how he adds little “:)” “:(“ and “>:)” makes you giggle! 

You end up telling him your name and how old you are, I mean, its only fair! You know his name! You definitely didn’t tell him because you wanted to get his mind racing, get him thinking about all the different possibilities, make him fantasize…

Its fair to say you have a little crush on him :( ahhhh its so humiliating! A city girl like you, good job, successful family and a bright future laying in bed every night fucking your pussy with a brand new dildo you bought just so you could imagine Simon, a felon, fucking your little cunt :( 

When Simon sent his letter that week asking for a photo of you, your little crush just got bigger :(

“Its only fair don’t ya’ think? You know what I look like, why don’t ya’ return the favour sweetpea ;)” 

And of course you did!! He asked so politely! 

Putting on your pushup bra, doing your makeup and styling your hair all for him:(((

You get so frustrated because you don’t want to look like you’re trying too hard for him, argh! Its all so embarrassing!! Your such a needy girl >:(

You make sure to push up your tits, your bra helping them spill out over your cute little shirt and giving him a good view of your gorgeous body. 

After an hour of taking photos you finally get the shot you were looking for 

Eyes sparkling, cute little smile on your lips, light hitting your face just right, lacy bra slightly peaking out the top of your shirt just enough that it looks like an accident, beautiful tits sitting right in frame so he can get a good look and the slight curve of your waist visible. 

Its perfect, it look so effortless…..in your eyes at least

When Si received your letter, his cock got hard the second he saw your picture :((((

Since his been locked up he hasn’t been able to jerk off properly >:( 

His balls are so heavy as is, and now he has a photo of you 

He could basically cum in his pants at the thought of holding your waist as you ride him. Using his big callused hands to fuck your pretty pussy onto his aching cock >>:((((((

You’re so put together! nice clothes, from the look of the background, nice apartment, clean bedroom. Just the thought of him corrupting you, fucking his baby into you, making you move into a shitty little apartment while he works and you look after his chubby baby makes his dick start to twitch :3

Before he can stop himself, he cums all in his pants :(

He hasn’t cum properly in years! yet a simple photo of you did it for him in seconds!!! You’re such a nasty minx, you know exactly what you’re doing you dirty girl >>:(

That night he lays under the covers, his cell mate fast asleep on the other side of the room as he slowly pumps his cock to the photo of you.

Eyes closed and head thrown back against the thin pillow, he bites his lip so he doesn’t make any noise. 

You see, playboy magazines get passed around all the time, they’re not hard to find if you know the right people, but it just doesn’t do it for Si!!

Of course they’re beautiful women, there’s no doubt about it, but everything so photoshopped :(

Si likes his women natural. No skin smoothing filters or enhancements from photoshop, he likes his women real 

His so deprived that he cums in record time, his hot load shooting all over your face, the once clean photo now sticky and stained….

He wished he had it in him to be embarrassed, but he just can’t! God, he needs to hear your voice, your picture just isn’t enough anymore….

In his next letter he asks if he could use his monthly call to speak to you……Johnnys just gonna have to wait, they can talk football another time >:(

Aghhhh, PrisonPenPal!Simon is so fucking cocky it hurtssss, PrisonPenPal!Simon is open for requests so feel free to send them throughhhhh, add to the AU, ask me expand on certain topics, whatever floats your boat >:)

!Disclaimer! - Above is NSFW content - MDNI - If you follow my blog without your age in your bio, you will be blocked - If you are under the age of 18, you are not welcome here, otherwise, enjoy :)

Cat divider sourced by @positively-mine from Pinterest - Pink line divider by @eloquentreverie - MDNI divider by @cafekitsune

Basic blog housekeeping -  fic requests guidelines, boundaries and my rules for minors

[teaboot]

Yo I haven't done it in forever so I forgot that working at a sex shop gives you superpowers

1. The We-Vibe Tango is a low frequency and fully waterproof rechargeable bullet vibrator that we used to sell for about $150. A new model came out about a year ago so it's on sale now online for $47. Can confirm that shipping is discreet and they have a really good warranty, just keep the packaging.

*(I'm not sponsored to say that and nobody is paying me rn, it's just a legit good deal.)

2. There are essentially three bases used for lube: Water, Oil, and Silicone. Oil breaks down any materials other than glass or metal, and Silicone breaks down Silicone toys and sometimes condoms. Water is safe for everything but tends to dry out, so people don't like it- but if you add water or spit, drying water-based lube will slick right back up.

3. If your water-based lube has given you any itching, tightening, or burning sensations, you probably have a chemical sensitivity. Obviously everyone has different preferences, but my number one recommendation is Water Slide- it's a super reasonable price compared to other lubes, it feels natural, it's incredibly gentle on the skin, and it doesn't stain sheets.

**(Again, I'm not being paid for this. By anyone. At all. I'm just sick of hearing people come in and tell me they don't use lube cause it hurts, or that they're using fucking coconut oil in their vagina. Please, God, don't put coconut oil in your vagina.)

4. A lot of massage oils use almond oil to suspend other ingredients, and warming products sometimes use cinnamon. Always, always, always check people's allergies.

5. You can buy toys off cheap sites if you want, just be wary of quality and ALWAYS read the product description. I personally wouldn't buy anything that isn't Silicone, stainless steel, or glass, because unlike jelly, plastic, "fantaflesh", and Silicon, (which is NOT Silicone!!!) They are non-porous, sterile, and don't melt in contact with each other. This means that as long as you clean them properly and don't use the wrong lubes, they will not hold bacteria or break down, which makes them safe for both you to reuse and your partner/s to share. (And to switch between front door/back door, so long as you wash before going back to front.)

6. Cotton and polyester bondage rope are cheap and great to practice with. Silk sounds fancy and is very strong but be advised that a lot of silk rope is "Silk(TM)", not actual silk. Read the product description. (I personally am reluctant to spend more than about $2 per foot for mass-produced synthetic rope, but could be persuaded to pay more for ACTUAL silk, nylon, handmade ropes, or especially attractive colors/patterns/textures.) You want your rope to be at least as thick as your thumb and layered to avoid lacerations, and taut (not stretchy) to be sure you're in control of how much pressure you're putting on.

7. Choking someone by pressing on the windpipe is painful and inefficient. If you want to, stay very, very light, as it's a very delicate area. If you want a head rush, press down on the sides of the windpipe, just below the corners of their lower jaw. You will feel a pulse there. That's the carotid artery. It carries oxygen to the brain. Pressing there will allow them to breathe, but will still "choke" the air going to their head. It's faster and painless. Only hold this for 3-4 seconds if you lack experience. It takes just under 15 seconds to make someone pass out from a blood choke, and after that you risk causing *permanent brain damage*. If your partner passes out, release pressure immediately and keep their airways clear. If you're the one being choked, know that your only warning will be spotty vision and a dizzy sensation. Communicate with your partner/s and for the love of God, do your research first. I'm not a doctor. Please God, please do your research.

8. Don't reduce blood flow to any part of the body for more than 20 minutes. This includes cock rings. Take a break for an hour between uses.

9. Most 'dick pills' are just a stimulant, a mild vasodilator, and a placebo. Usually mostly caffeine. They are not worth $20 apiece. Take a minute to meditate, have a hot shower, drink some black tea, have a coffee, go for a run, whatever- you'll get the same effect. And no, there is not a single ethical and legal sex shop in the country that can sell you viagra. You would have better luck on Facebook. Do not buy viagra on Facebook.

10. There are no "male toys" and "female toys". Your only limitations are safety and creativity. If youre sticking something into something else, just make sure everything is clean, not too big, not sharp or abrasive, and can be taken back out.

11. If something "goes missing" in your vagina and you panic, you muscles will tense up and it'll it'll harder to get back. Relax and stand up. Wait a minute. Chill. Calm down. Jump a couple times. There's nowhere for it to go and worst case scenario, I promise the emergency walk-in has seen something weirder or worse in the past hour or so.

12. You cannot return toys that you buy and don't like and I swear to God if you come into my store with an opened product and try to give it back I will lose my shit

13. Actually while I'm at it, people who work at sex shops are more often than not not sex workers and even if they were, it would still not be appropriate to flash or grope them or ask them "what they use", I will run you over in the fucking parking lot

[absolutedream-art]

IMPORTANT!  I seem to have an issue with messages and replies at the moment.  I can’t receive or send instant messages, and I can’t reply, but I can talk to you privately through Asks (though it seems not ALL asks are coming through), but I just made a side blog here just to get past the issue, lol.  Try sending a message here www.tumblr.com/absolutedreamsideblog  and if you see a message from this blog, it IS me. XD

I noticed a few people may have been interested in getting some of these guys as adoptables, so I decided to put them up for adoption if anyone is interested. ^^ All of them are $20 CAD EACH This is first come, first serve. --------------- RULES -  You may choose their gender, add accessories, or redesign them to your liking. -  Once you've paid for your character, I will send you a larger, unshaded version of the drawing. -  If you no longer wish to keep the character, you may sell them to someone who will use them for the same price here, unless you include character art on top of it. -  Credit would be appreciated for the first time you draw them, but it's not necessary afterwards. ^^ -  After I confirm that you own the adoptable, I will ask you to send me a note with your PayPal email, and I will send you an invoice. -  Please take care of them! :D ---------------- 1 - Mewtwo X Cubone - TAKEN by Tazerpones 2 - Mewtwo X Sentret - TAKEN by Mintbubbie on Deviantart 3 - Mewtwo X Kangaskhan - TAKEN by Manaketesilver 4 - Mewtwo X Ninetails - TAKEN by Nocturn02 on DeviantArt 5 - Mewtwo X Girafarig - TAKEN by Buggobop on DeviantArt 6 - Mewtwo X Cloyster - TAKEN by Anngalaxies on DeviantArt 7 - Mewtwo X Mega Aerodactyl - TAKEN by Paulrulz on DeviantArt 8 - Mewtwo X Dusknoir - TAKEN by Achillesmonocrome 9 - Mewtwo X Pupitar - TAKEN by Rixxthelarvitar on FA 10 - Mewtwo X Rowlet - TAKEN by Nocturn02 on DeviantArt 11 - Mewtwo X Shedinja - TAKEN by Demonichunny 12 - Mewtwo X Celebi - TAKEN by xhunterbeatsx 13 - Mewtwo X Mega Blaziken - TAKEN by Driftfall on Deviantart 14 - Mewtwo X Meganium - TAKEN by Dezzykitsune on FA 15 - Mewtwo X Treecko - TAKEN by Buggobop on DeviantArt 16 - Mewtwo X Zubat - TAKEN by Tazerpones 17 - Mewtwo X Noivern - TAKEN by Darkestphoenix 18 - Mewtwo X Skeledirge - TAKEN by Paulrulz on DeviantArt 19 - Mewtwo X Breloom - TAKEN by KxSombraxL on DeviantArt 20 - Mewtwo X Golett - TAKEN by Ghosttown1195 21 - Mewtwo X Skarmory - TAKEN by Paulrulz on DeviantArt 22 - Mewtwo X Rapidash - TAKEN by Ferngirl on DeviantArt 23 - Mewtwo X Dragalge - TAKEN by Displacedentities 24 - Mewtwo X Swoobat - TAKEN by Nocturn02 on DeviantArt

[mimisempai]

I'll find you at the end of the road - Chap 3/8

Chapter summary

Through the mysterious mailbox, Crowley and Aziraphale get to know each other and their bond grows stronger...

On Ao3

Rating G -  3764 words

Chap 1 - Chap 2 - Chap 3 - Chap 4 - Chap 5 - Chap 6 - Chap 7 - Last chapter

April 15, 2024 - 7:00 a.m.

Crowley, his heart beating a little faster than usual, approached the mailbox from which the flag was raised.

He opened the flap and unfolded the note with slightly shaking fingers.

Thank you for this lovely gesture. I haven't stopped wearing it since I received it. But how did you know that tartan is one of my favorite things?

You tell me that this connection with me allows you to open up to others and not feel alone, and you ask me if I want to continue this correspondence?

I don't want to stop either! I feel the benefits in my life as much as you do.

I don't know if we'll ever meet, but I want to keep getting to know you and for you to get to know me.

Let me know what you like, what you don't like, what makes you tick, whatever you feel like writing.

Sincerely.

Aziraphale.

Crowley, not realizing he was holding his breath, let out a sigh of relief, tucked the letter in his pocket, and left. He had to get to work before he could write. It was no longer a matter of writing a short note; he wanted to take the time to think before he could answer Aziraphale.

As he walked through the school gates a few hours later, even though he loved his job, for once he couldn't wait for the day to be over.

April 17, 2022

Aziraphale was reading Crowley's latest letter, a steaming cup of tea beside him, sitting in what had become his special Crowley corner, the armchair in front of the bay window.

As for the tartan, I was really acting on a hunch, I saw this scarf and thought you'd like it.

A little more about me: 

I became an astronomy teacher because I've always loved the stars and planets. I lived in a country village as a child and was fascinated by the night sky.

My favorite color is red, although I pretty much only wear black.

My favorite spirit is Talisker and I love spicy food.

Queen is the best band! (I won't accept any arguments to the contrary).

My favorite book is Persuasion by Jane Austen.

I love to drive my old Bentley. 

I'm afraid of fire.

I can't stand cruelty, condescension, and lying, especially people who lie to themselves.

And I hate people who feed bread to ducks (it's not good for them).

I love the lake house.

Aziraphale laughed slightly at the humorous tone of the letter, then finished his tea before fetching his notepad to begin writing his reply.

April 19, 2024

Crowley, sitting cross-legged on his sofa, Harry curled up in a ball on his lap, read the latest letter from Aziraphale.

I love old things, especially old books. In my antique shop, the only thing I refuse to sell are old books. I prefer to keep them for myself.

I love restoring old furniture and objects to their former glory.

I also drive an old car, an old yellow Beetle from 1941.

My favorite book is Pride and Prejudice, but Persuasion is a close second.

I listen to my favorite classical music on an old gramophone, but I also have Queen records. (Which I listen to sometimes and I won't deny that they are the best band).

I like to draw, or rather make sketches that I never finish. 

My favorite drink is sherry and occasionally a good glass of French red wine from Bordeaux. I love sweets more than anything and especially French crêpes.

I also dislike lies, prejudices, and gratuitous meanness - well, just plain meanness.

I also like the lake house. A lot. A lot. (All the more, since it seems to be what made our connection possible.)

As for the ducks, what should I feed them if I see any on the lake? 

How did you come to live at the lake house? 

Crowley reread the letter, folded it, and placed it in the small metal box where he'd put the others before going to bed and thinking about what he'd answer the next day.

April 21, 2022

It was a day of rest, and Aziraphale was still in his bathrobe when he left the house to see if there was any mail. He was pleasantly surprised to see that Crowley had already replied, if the little flag was to be believed. He refused to think about the fact that his heartbeat had quickened for that reason, attributing it to the fact that he'd been walking a little faster than usual.

He took the letter and read it over his breakfast, Harry munching on a lettuce leaf at his feet.

Frozen peas. The ducks love them and it's good for them. 

I rented the lake house after I graduated from university. I needed some space and peace.

It was the strangest place I'd ever seen. 

I couldn't imagine anyone building it. In fact, I couldn't imagine anyone building it and not living in it. I liked the way it seemed to float above the water. I liked the path that led to it. I don't know why, it has a strange, timeless charm.

April 23, 2024

Crowley, during a break between classes, took Aziraphale's answer out of his pocket and read it again.

I now have a bag of frozen peas in my freezer. I'm ready for the ducks. 

Regarding the lake house, I so agree with you.

The fact that you have to walk so much to get to the front door, it's like you have to earn the right to enter the house. Every time I walk up the path, it's like I'm on a quest, and the prize is the right to enter.

I'm sorry, I must sound a little eccentric. 

April 24, 2022

During his lunch break and throughout the day, Aziraphale read and reread the last words from Crowley.

Please don't apologize. Not to me for being who you are. 

You can be eccentric. You can be anything you want.

Aziraphale had always felt different, in both his personal and professional life choices, never accepted by his own family for who he was, so Crowley's words eased some of his inner struggles. 

He couldn't ignore the warm feeling in his chest at this affirmation from someone he'd never met.

There was someone in this world who accepted him for who he was.

You can be anything you want.

A few weeks passed as Crowley and Aziraphale continued their strange correspondence. 

It was late spring now, and yet the wind was blowing strongly on this early morning in London as Crowley walked briskly to the academy. 

As he always did these days, he smiled at the thought of Aziraphale's latest letter, already thinking of what he would write back. 

His phone began to vibrate in his pocket, snapping him out of his thoughts, and he reached for it to answer the call.

Seeing the name on the screen, he said in a cold voice, "Yes?" 

He held back a sigh of annoyance as he listened to his caller and then replied, "Look, this isn't easy for me either. You know... no, I'm not angry that you called. It's just that... I'm sorry, I have to go to work and I..."

He approached the school and didn't want to continue this conversation as more and more students entered.

After listening to the arguments on the other end of the line, he replied firmly, "I don't think that's a good idea. No, Furfur, I'm asking you not to come. Because we need more time... Especially if we want to stay friends. I just don't think we should... Look, I'm on my way to work, so we'll talk. Bye."

Crowley sighed again and shook his head as he walked out the large front door.

"Don't tell me you've lost your motivation already."

Crowley looked up and, meeting Mrs. Tracy's gaze, replied, the smile back on his lips, "Absolutely not."

"That's fortunate. Eric has the flu and we need someone to cover his classes while he's out. Since your resume says you majored in art, I was wondering if..."

"No problem! I'm happy to oblige. Just don't blame me for associating it with astronomy." 

"I'm already happy to have someone, I'm not going to be picky. You can check Eric's schedule with the assistant and then make arrangements. Thank you, Crowley, really. If it weren't for the exams, I wouldn't have asked you."

Crowley replied kindly, his expression open to show her he meant it sincerely, "No worries, really."

On the contrary, he was pleased to see that even though he was the last to arrive, he was trusted.

However, at the end of the week, when he came home with his arms full of groceries, he thought maybe he should have thought before saying yes, because he was literally exhausted. He hadn't realized how much time and energy it would take to do the work of two people.

Luckily, Eric was back at work by Monday. 

But despite his exhaustion, nothing could stop him from going looking for Aziraphale's letter, which must have been waiting for him at the lake house for days.

Less than two hours and a few speeding violations later, he parked in front of the mailbox in a cloud of dust, and a few seconds later, leaning against his car, he eagerly read the letter.

Hello, pen pal. 

It's been a while since you last wrote. 

I hope all is well.

Several words were crossed out before the letter continued in Aziraphale's elegant handwriting.

It's ridiculous, just a few words to write, and it makes me sound like a babbling teenager (if there's such a thing as sound when it comes to a letter).

Well, I'll write it: I MISS YOU

It was obvious that the last words had been written with determination, probably as much for the author as for the recipient.

Crowley felt a strange warmth in his chest. He, too, had missed the correspondence, more, he had missed Aziraphale's words, so he hurried to reply and put the letter in the box before heading home.

Parking the car in front of the mailbox, Aziraphale decided to ignore the butterflies in his stomach when he saw the little flag raised.

He took the letter out of the box, and once he was home and Harry was fed, the antiquarian went to his favorite spot to read it.

It's been a tough week.

I've had to take a sick colleague's classes and have only had the strength to go to bed at night (and feed Harry, of course), and I feel like it's been a century since I've looked at the sky or seen a bloody tree. That's what I miss. The nature that surrounded me at the lake house.

It's not so bad when I'm busy. It's when I have a minute to breathe, to look around, that it seems really hard. 

I wonder what I'm doing here, alone, in this gray city. I miss the trees.

PS: I missed you too. A lot.

June 15, 2022 - 7:00 pm 

Aziraphale left the house with a medium-sized tree and gardening tools in the trailer attached to the Beetle and headed for London.

June 15, 2022 - 8:55 p.m.

Arriving at Crowley's address, in front of the construction site he'd seen the other night with Muriel, Aziraphale parked the Beetle. He took out a shovel, put on the gardening gloves he had in his pocket, and after finding the ideal spot in front of the construction site where Crowley's future home would be, began digging a hole.  With the help of a rope and a lot of sweat, he managed to get the tree into the hole and covered its roots with the soil and potting soil he'd brought.

Half an hour later, at 9:30 p.m., he stood in front of his work with his hands on his hips and said quietly, "I hope this will work."

June 15, 2024 - 9:30 pm

Halfway between the school and his apartment, Crowley saw rain gathering in the sky and began to pick up his pace as he realized he didn't have an umbrella. Suddenly, a rumble of thunder could be heard in the distance, and as he ran almost the entire distance to his apartment, the rain began to fall.

Of course, he was completely soaked as he ran the last few meters to the front door of the building. He fumbled for his keys, dropped them, and grew increasingly frustrated as the rain poured down on him, when suddenly it stopped. 

Which surprised him because it seemed to be falling everywhere around him except on him.

He looked up.

Above him, the thick green branches of a young tree formed a canopy that swayed in the rain just above Crowley. That tree hadn't been there a second ago, but now it was sheltering him, and Crowley stared at it, mouth agape.

June 15, 2022 - 9:37 p.m.

Aziraphale smiles as he tosses the shovel into the Beetle's trailer before heading home.

June 15, 2024 - 9:37 pm

Crowley, overcome with emotion, smiled broadly and, knowing that only Aziraphale could be responsible for it, whispered to him, though the other man could not hear him, "Thank you, my friend."

Raindrops fell through the green branches, but Crowley didn't care as he danced with joy under the tree, his face turned skyward.

2022 - A few days later

Muriel stood on the small path in front of the lake house and exclaimed, "Wow!"

Aziraphale motioned for them to follow him inside, and Muriel entered, still stunned by the house, before asking, "So this is where you've been hiding?"

Aziraphale smiled back, "Yes. Would you like some tea or something stronger?"

Muriel replied quietly as they looked around, "Tea is perfect."

Aziraphale took two cups from the cupboard, poured the tea and they sat down in the chairs in front of the bay window. 

They talked for a while about the new house, for Muriel, as usual, had a lot of questions and Aziraphale was happy to answer them.

Muriel finished their cup of tea, put it down, and with a more serious expression, they said quietly, "Aziraphale. I didn't just come here to escape my miserable existence in the city. I've come to talk to you about HH and to ask you to come back with us. We need you."

Aziraphale shook his head vigorously, "HH? Sorry, Muriel, but no."

His friend insisted, "But if you talk to her..."

"Forget it, Mother doesn't want me back. I don't want to come back. Everybody's happier now."

Muriel argued anyway, "What about your work? Your work was great. Even she admitted that. Look, I know it's hard, but if you put aside your problems with her..."

"I said forget it," Aziraphale replied, this time in a firm tone before softening, "I'm really sorry, Muriel. It's just that... I like it here. And I like my job at the shop."

Muriel replied gently with a slightly sheepish look, "At least I tried," then after a few seconds they asked with a mischievous twinkle in their eyes, "Are you seeing anyone?"

After a slight hesitation that didn't go unnoticed, Aziraphale shook his head.

"Why did you hesitate?"

"I didn't hesitate."

"Yes, you did."

Aziraphale said in a voice he knew was a little unconvincing, "I... I'm not committed to anyone, okay?"

"Okay," Muriel replied, smiling amusedly before continuing, "I'm just saying you might want to think about the future."

Aziraphale laughed. 

He couldn't stop himself. 

Think about the future.

For God's sake, he was communicating with someone who lived two years in the future.

Muriel looked at him as if he'd gone mad, "What?"

Aziraphale continued to laugh.

"What?"

A few days later, with Crowley's letter open in the passenger seat of his Beetle, Aziraphale drove to Waterloo East Station, near Westminster School. 

He parked, picked up the letter, and got out, heading for the station entrance.

About the same time, two years ago, I lost something. 

At Waterloo East station.

I was taking the train home to my parents and left it on the platform. See if you can find it for me. I won't tell you what it is. 

Then drop it in the mailbox. 

It's your mission if you decide to accept it.

The exact date and time is on the back of the letter.

Aziraphale couldn't resist a challenge, so he found himself searching for an object he knew nothing about. He wandered around the station, scanning the few people who were there. 

He looked for a single man and saw none. Only a few families and an elderly couple. 

He continued his search when suddenly, through the window overlooking the platform, he saw a man with short red hair get up and prepare to board the train.

Aziraphale's heart leapt, he wasn't sure if it was Crowley, but he had this deep intuition that it was, and if it was, oh my God, his pen pal was incredibly handsome. 

Aziraphale hurried through the door to the platform where he was standing and was about to approach him when he stopped abruptly.

The red-haired man was embracing another curly-haired man who had his back to Aziraphale. 

They kissed quickly and embraced again before parting.  

Neither of them noticed that Crowley, for it was undoubtedly Crowley, had left a book on the bench behind them. Aziraphale had seen it, but he didn't dare come any closer and decided to wait and watch, a slight twinge in his heart that he chose to ignore.

A voice over the loudspeaker announced the train's imminent departure.

Crowley gave the other man a sad smile before boarding the train, obviously reluctantly.

The one who appeared to be Crowley's lover didn't move and watched the train pull away until it was completely out of sight. He didn't notice the book. Aziraphale watched him go, and when he was far away, he approached the bench. He looked at the book that Crowley had left behind. It was a well-worn copy of Jane Austen's Persuasion. 

It had definitely been Crowley.

Crowley impatiently made his way to the mailbox, thinking that Aziraphale might already have gone to the station. He was not deterred when he saw the small flag raised.

He opened it, disappointed not to see the book, but only a note. With just one question.

What are you doing on July 1st?

Crowley replied immediately on the same piece of paper, and just as he was about to leave, he heard the characteristic sound of a small flag being raised and returned to the mailbox and opened it. He grabbed the note and unfolded it.

C: I have no plans. Why do you ask?

A: If you remember, the village celebrates summer with fireworks on the lake. 

Would you like to watch them together? 

From the lake house. The fireworks on the lake are wonderful.

C: I know, I used to watch them from the house when I lived there. You're not asking me out, are you?

A: No, no. I just thought it would be nice to do the same thing, that's all.

C: The same, but two years apart.

A: It's better than staying home.

C: Okay. Let's go see the fireworks.

A: See you in 10 days. 

July 1st at 10 p.m. in front of the mailbox.

Aziraphale didn't wait for an answer and walked happily back into the house. Even though he'd denied it, it still felt like a date of sorts. Perhaps Crowley would agree to tell him more about his mysterious companion. 

July 1, 2022/2024 - 10 p.m.

Two years apart, in the same spot, Crowley and Aziraphale sat next to the mailbox. Aziraphale brought one of the chairs from the garden and Crowley brought an old folding camping seat from his car.

They were both armed with notepads and pencils.

The strange, timeless conversation resumed, still punctuated by the little flag going up and down.

C: Did you go to the train station? I never got my book. You're not going to keep it like all your old books, are you?

A: Let me keep it for a while. I want to read it. By the way, I've been meaning to ask you.

Who was the other man at the train station? Was he your boyfriend?

Why didn't you tell me about him?

The way the questions were asked gave Crowley the impression that Aziraphale was jealous, but he didn't want to get the wrong idea.

C: You don't talk to me about your love life either.

A: Because I don't have one. God, I can't believe you didn't tell me you were married.

C: I'm not married, you idiot. We split up when I moved to London.

I'm single now.

The fireworks have just started.

A: They've started here too.

I'm sure yours are better because they're supposed to get better every year. 

C: Probably. Let's enjoy the show.

Then, during the fireworks, the flag didn't move for a while. But the noise did not drown out the sound of their hearts beating in their ears.

Then, as the last bouquet ended and silence fell, the flag suddenly rose, startling Crowley.

A: At the station, when I saw you... I didn't expect... I mean, you didn't tell me you were gorgeous...

Crowley gasped, then blushed at the compliment. He looked around, embarrassed, even though he knew no one was there.

C: That's not fair. 

You've seen me, but I still don't know what you look like.

Aziraphale ran his hand over his face and figured that since it was the night of truth, he might as well go for it.

A: You're right. 

I would like to know what I'll look like in two years. Why don't we meet in the future and you can tell me what you think? 

Crowley thought, then looked at his watch; it was 10:43 p.m. He took a deep breath, suddenly excited and nervous, then wrote quickly.

C: Why don't you call me on July 1, 2024 at 10:45 p.m.?

Just as Crowley was about to raise the flag after dropping the note in the mailbox, the phone in his pocket began to vibrate, nearly knocking him out of his chair.

Heart pounding, without looking at it, he pulled the phone out of his pocket and picked it up, "Hello?"

_________

A damaged author can't write the next chapter... so don't hit me for this cliffhanger...

Still not beta'd

Still not my native language

Still hoping you'll enjoy this story  🥰

Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝

Ineffable Husbands masterlist : here

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

03/12/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; More BTS/Photos; Samba Schutte Cameo; Taika; Fan Spotlight; London Billboards/Trucks; Uproar; LubeAsACrew; Watch Party Reminders; Continued Efforts; Trends; Love Notes; DailyDarby/Tonight's Taika

Hey all! Thank you so much for your feedback on the recaps! Right now I'm planning on sticking too them, but may cut them down depending on the day. Right now we seem to be pretty solid on daily news so I'll keep them the way they are for now. I appreciate you all sharing your thoughts with me <3

== Cast & Crew Sightings ==

== More BTS / Photos ==

Well as many of you know, the things that broke the internet were the latest photos that were found by @jodegg on LK Creatives Website

Nicola Dove also put up some more photos recently! Thank you to @kiwistede for putting them all in one place in this post.

= Samba Schutte =

Thank you so much to @gheyandwoke on Twitter for getting a cameo from Samba! It's absolutely beautiful and totally worth a listen.

== Taika Waititi ==

Taika's out here advertising for hot tubs, and seems to be enjoying himself with Rita! Src: Taika's Instagram

== Fan Spotlight ==

== Cast Cards ==

Tonight's cast card is Rachel House! Absolutely love Rachel in so many of her roles! Thank you @melvisik for highlighting her works!

== Ari Azure's Act of Grace ==

Our lovely crew-mate @ariazureyt wrote a song about OFMD being cancelled, and commissioned @enabuns to draw, and @ferventrabbit on vocals! The full song will be released on their youtube this Friday! To follow along for updates, visit their Link.tree

== London Billboard ==

A few more photos from the SaveOFMDCrew meetup at the London Billboard in Leicaster Square! Wanna see them all? Visit the @saveofmdcrewmates website!

Our crew-mate @heather.in.wonderland on Instagram brought Little Ed with her to visit the billboard!

== Trucks Ads Outside Amazon! ==

== Save OFMD Meet Up In London Video! ==

See the whole post on tumblr!

Website: https://www.help.saveofmd.com/ Petition: change.org/p/save-our-flag-means-death Socials: linktr.ee/saveofmdcrew

Vocals: twitter.com/ferventrabbit

Video: twitter.com/kristybean18

Lyrics: Set your eyes upon the screen A wondrous sight to see This is "La Vue en rose" Londoners from far and near Will likely shed a tear To see "La Vue en rose" The petition climbs so high No streamer can deny The power of our show We’ll spread the word about our pirates dear Until the fandom at last perseveres Look upon the lovely sight To keep our hope alight "La Vue en rose"

== Uproar Coming To America! ==

Get your tickets at fandango!

== Watch Party Reminders! ==

== Lube As A Crew ==

Our dear friends over at @astroglideofficial are hosting one last Lube As A Crew, with all of Season 2 in one go! Starts Friday March 15th 12 pm Noon PST ( 4pm EST, 8 pm GMT)

== Wrecked ==

There are sources being passed around. If access is an issue, DM @iamadequate1 on Twitter or Tumblr

Season 2 watch from March 11th to March 15th. 

Season 3 watch from March 18th to March 22nd. 

Times will be 10pm GMT / 5pm EST / 4pm CST / 2pm PST. Watch two episodes per day. Episodes are 21-22 minutes each. Use the following Saturday for the tags/watch if interested but not able to make this time.

Hashtags: 

#WreckedPirates

#SaveOFMD

#RhysDarbyFaction

== OurFlagRTL ==

Twitter-Watch-Along von Our Flag Means Death:

Streamt Staffel 2 ab dem 15. März.

Samstag, 9.3. 17:00 Folgen 1 bis 3, 

Dienstag, 12.3. 20:00 Folgen 4 & 5, 

Mittwoch, 13.3. 20:00 Folgen 6 & 7, 

Donnerstag 14.3. 20:00 Folgen 8 & 9, 

Freitag, 15.3. 17:30 Folge 10

Und anschließend bingen wir zusammen Staffel 2! 

Schaut und tweetet mit! 

Hashtag:

 OurFlagRTL

== Continued Efforts ==

So even though Chaos Dad, David Jenkins told us there was no more home, several people are still out there fighting the good fight. There's been a few different routes being taken.

1. Sell The Show, Let Us Go

Our crew-mate @patchworkpiratebear has been putting out lots of awesome media regarding this, and several people on twitter have been using #SellTheShowLetUsGo

2. There's been continued and more targeted Polite Menacing against Max, WB, and David Zaslav.

Lots of folks have been either responding to Max's Twitter / IG Post, and others have been focusing specifically on Zaslav.

Specific hashtags being used were #FireDavidZaslav and #DontStreamOnMax Thank you to @iamadequate1 for capturing all these great trends and metrics:

== Articles ==

https://www.themarysue.com/our-flag-means-death-fans-put-up-billboard-in-londons-leicester-square/

SchadenFreude Articles

https://awardsradar.com/2024/03/11/you-had-one-job-david/

https://www.cnbc.com/2024/02/23/warner-bros-discovery-hypes-free-cash-flow-investors-dont-buy-it.html

== Love Notes ==

Hey lovelies. I know that the new photos were both a welcome gift and also a heavy reminder of where OFMD is and what we've lost. For some it's helping them rally, and for others it's really pulling them down deeper into the gravy basket.

Wherever you are, just know it's gonna be okay. Whether we get an s3 or not, and if we do 10 years from now or next week, it's going to be alright. As so many others have said, including our lovely Con O'Neill, they can't take what we have away from us.

I continue to hear from the cast & crew in all their posts that we are some of the much amazing, kind, and engaging folks they've ever met, and you really should be proud of yourself for that. Our cast & crew are wonderful, but the fans are too.

On a slight side note, please if you can, check on your crew-mates today. The initial shock is starting to fade, but a lot of folks are still struggling, or coming back to struggling after a period of being okay. We're all riding the waves right now lovelies, and it'll take some work but we'll get through the storm, but it'll be easier together.

Our friend @thelatestkate has another lovely note for us.. and I second it. We are all weathering the storm right now, but you belong here, and we love that you're here with us, through tears or laughter, or unhinged fun. Be kind to yourselves lovelies, we are small but we are many, and we all care about you, I wish Sweet Dreams / Happy Days for you <3 Love you Crew.

== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==

I've run out of images allowed on one post so we're just gonna do a combo one tonight, and since this scene is the theme of the day, we'll go with the goofiest one of all. Gif courtesy of @stedesbonnets / @edsrosetattoo (The gifs are being weird AF tonight, its showing one name but apparently it's not right? Apologies if I'm not crediting the right folks!)

[pregnancyismykink]

All Current WIP's

This is a list of all of my current WIP's in no particular order, which is unfortunately very long. Please forgive me XD You can read all of them at the links provided, though remember these are in progress and not finished yet lol. As always, I'm open to suggestions or advice!

**

A continuation of Maybourne Manor, which you can find (Here)

WIP here

2. Raylene escapes her cell with nothing but a shirt and underwear, naked and trembling as she runs away from the people who would kill her if they knew what she did. She finds a portal, transporting herself to Waterside, a place of wonder and beauty. But the longer she stays, the more she realizes that the people of Waterside are not what they seem. Will the prophecy come true? Or will Waterside fall?

(lesbians, fpreg, rape, noncon, magic, fantasy)

WIP here

3. A rich lesbian couple looking for a surrogate put out an ad and end up creating a threesome, a very happy family

WIP here

4. An arranged marriage between a sassy, easily annoyed short prince and a massive brutish man from a different kingdom. An heir is required even if they hate each other

WIP here

5. A prince has a one night stand with his favorite, and personal knight leading to him getting pregnant and having to hide this from the entire kingdom as well as his mom

WIP here

6. A meet cute ABO story about two guys fucking like crazy, accidentally getting pregnant, and then going through life figuring it out as they go.

WIP here

7. Another ABO story but based in college where an omegas first heat is dangerous and painful. Omega goes into heat on campus and the alpha jock finds him and takes care of him. Omega gets pregnant from the experience, they get together after some angst, and that’s as far as I’ve gotten.

WIP here

8. A werewolf clan just going through life.

WIP here

9. A continuation of my Home Ec story, which can be found (Here)

WIP here

10. A group of 5 dudes buy a house together, have orgies, and one or two get pregnant and they have to navigate life together

WIP here

11. A continuation of the Alien Eggs story which can be found (Here)

WIP here (FINISHED)

12. A young plant shop owner has fun with some of the extra vegetables that don't sell in his shop.

WIP here

13. The king of a country is a werewolf but nobody knows except a select number of people, and his mate. Who he dotes on when everyone else gets death glares

WIP here

14. An ABO story where once you meet your alpha, you're automatically their property. This was supposed to be kinky but turned out kinda fluffy

WIP here

15. A bodyguard (in his 40's) gets assigned to a young woman. She was raped and is now pregnant and suffering from her rapist stalking her.

WIP here

16. Phoenix, FTM, gets surprising news at a party with his housemates. And then he has to learn how to deal with the changes that will continue to happen as he progresses in his pregnancy.

WIP here (FINISHED)

17. Vampire harem. Female vampire has a collection of beautiful men and women she keeps as feeding servants who also provide her with a rather large household of children and servants.

WIP here (FINISHED)

[ladykailitha]

Oh For a Muse of Fire! Epilogue

I want to thank everyone for the lovely support. I saw a couple questions about the other characters in the comment section of the last one and wanted to clear up a couple of things. Crystal=Argyle (he picked the name because he thought it sounded cool), Onyx=Dimitri (like @n0-1-important guessed in part 11). Diamond and his family were all OCs more on them here. Michelle (the whiny chick in the art class) is the only other OC. I tried as much as possible to include characters from the show when I could.

And to answer @ goodolefashionedloverboi‘s question: Jonathan and Nancy are in couple’s therapy and are doing better.

And then one final thing to explain (the curses of doing a WIP and posting it one at a time not every thread I put down got picked up again, oops!) is the garnet rings. I love gem stones and geology. It fascinates me so much so that I took it as an elective in high school. When I was researching a fic (don’t remember which one now) I was looking at Eddie’s rings. And a lot of people were making replicas with hard stones like hematite, onyx, or something that didn’t have cuts or facets. But Eddie’s ring sparkles. It’s clearly a gemstone. So I went looking up grey or black gemstones. I found a couple it could be but they weren’t discovered until the 90s (and while the ACTUAL stone the prop maker used could be that, I COULDN’T call it that). And then I found a grey garnet. It was a perfect match. It sparkles the way his does, the different shades it gets from the show, spot on. Hence the garnet.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6  Part 7  Part 8  Part 9 Part 10  Part 11 Part 12  Part 13 Part 14  Part 15  Part 16  Part 17

*

Two years later:

Variety Interview with Corroded Coffin

Max Mayfield: Hello, can you guys introduce yourselves for the people that have been hiding under a rock for the last two years?

They all laugh.

Jeff: I’m Jeff Lawrence, I’m rhythm guitar.

Gareth: I’m Gareth Hughes, I’m on drums.

Brian: I’m Brian Martin, I’m the bass guitarist.

Eddie: And I’m Eddie Munson, frontman, lead guitar, lead vocalist, and songwriter.

MM: That’s a lot of titles for one person.

JL: That’s because he’s the most dramatic out of all of us. He has to have allll the titles. Can’t share with the rest of us.

EM: Hey!

They all laugh again.

BM: Hey, you know it’s true.

EM: Yeah...but you’re giving away all my secrets right off the bat. Can’t you save some for later in the interview.

The other three look at each other.

JL, BM, GH: No.

Eddie throws his arms in the air.

EM: I’m telling Steve!

The other three look mock frightened for all of three seconds before they start laughing at him.

JL: You know Steve would agree with us.

Eddie pouts

MM: Can you tell us who Steve is?

Eddie fiddles with the singular ring on his right hand, looking down, bashfully. It one that I haven’t seen. Everyone is familiar with the the three chunky rings on his left hand. But this one is on his ring finger. The grey stone flashes as he plays with it.  

EM: He’s the love of my life and my muse.

JL: He’s an art teacher back home.

BM: He’s our Eddie wrangler.

GH: He’s our band mascot.

I laugh.

MM: He sounds pretty special. How did you guys meet?

JL: We all went to high school together, actually.

MM: Oh, so were you high school sweethearts, then?

Eddie laughs.

GH: Yeah, no. He laughs.

BM: Let’s just say they started off on the wrong foot.

JL: The wrong everything, let’s be honest.

EM: Not my proudest moment. I was doing a favor for a family friend being a live model for an art class about five years later and assumed the worst about him.

MM: You mean there are actual art of you naked out there?

Eddie blushes.

EM: Several pieces in fact. But my favorite is Stevie’s. It’s still hanging up in our house in my studio.

GH: I’ve seen it. It’s not gross or anything.

JL: It won best in show at the art gala it was featured in.

BM: I think he’s totally wasted as an art teacher. He could be making more than we do selling his art work. But he loves working with kids.

MM: Sounds like the perfect guy.

EM: scoffs I love Steve, but he can be the most basic bitch. And he tends to be overprotective too.

GH: But we are here to talk about the new album.

MM: Fair enough. So tell me about working on Silent Killer. This is your second album, is that correct?

JL: Yeah, our self titled debut album just went double platinum. We knew going in it was going to be a tough act to follow.

GH: When we went platinum the first time, our manager Murray Bauman sent black flowers to all the record labels that passed on us.

EM: It was very suitably bitchy. It’s why he’s our manager.

MM: Certainly sounds like it. Do you guys deviate from your first album’s style in this one?

They look at each other and Eddie shrugs

EM: I mean, not really. It’s a more somber album to be sure. There was a song that we wanted to include on Corroded Coffin but decided it didn’t fit with the overall theme of the album that made its way on this one.

MM: Which song is that?

BM: Thorns and Thistles. It’s the song that got us our agent in the first place.

JL: Yeah. Murray was mad when the record label didn’t want to use it this time round. He fought tooth and nail to get on the album.

EM: Have you heard it yet?

I nod.

MM: Yeah. It’s beautifully heartbreaking. You say your label didn’t want to use it?

BM: They thought it was too sad.

JL: So to prove them wrong we sent it out as our first single, before we even started really working on the album.

MM: It had already gone gold before you announced the new record. That must have really got stuck in their craw.

EM: We’ve been laughing all the way to the bank.

MM: You guys won a Grammy for Song of the Year for The Jester and the King and Best New Artist. How was that for you?

BM: God I don’t know which of us bawled more on that stage. But it was everything we hoped for.

JL: Winning Song of the Year was a life changer. But no one thought we were going to win Best New Artist.

MM: No?

Eddie shakes his head.

EM: It rarely goes to a rock artist, especially a metal one. Everyone thought it would go to the kid...what’s his name...? He snaps his fingers.

JL: JJ Jenner.

EM: That’s the one. Fifteen year old kid with the pipes of an angel. Everyone, including us thought it would be him.

MM: Oh, I remember now, they put the kid’s reaction to losing on the jumbotron or whatever they call their big screen.

GH: I almost felt sorry for him.

Eddie grins.

EM: Almost.

MM: When you do red carpet events, Eddie, you bring your two lesbian friends with you, while the rest of the band brings their partners. Is there a reason you don’t bring yours? Especially since I learned your partner’s name is Steve.

All the members of the band shift uncomfortably in their seats, stealing glances at each as they silently decide who is going to answer the question.

MM: Oh. I feel like I stepped on a sensitive topic. I didn’t mean to.

Gareth clears his throat.

GH: Steve’s privacy is very important to us. There are times he would like to go to these things with Eddie...

JL: But he still gets attacks and can’t. He looks down at his hands. So he goes with the girls dress shopping and helps pick out their outfits for the night.

Eddie looks like he’s going to tear up.

EM: We’re working on it. He knew going to our relationship that this might become an issue but I always do what I can to make it up to him the moment I get home.

They all look somber, so I decide to change the direction of the interview.

MM: What’s next for the Corroded Coffin boys?

They brighten up almost immediately.

BM: Touring. We’ve got an American tour this spring and then a European tour this summer.

MM: Is there a reason you decided to wait on the European tour until summer?

Eddie blushes and the rest of the band nudge him playfully.

EM: It’s so Steve can come with us. He can’t leave during the school year, but he likes touring with us when it’s out for summer break.

MM: Ah ha.

The conversation turns to non-band related things again and I watch how close they are. It’s great to see a band that are still friends after years of playing together. Even though they’ve only been big for two years, they have been playing for twelve.

Let’s hope that they stay that way for the next twenty.

-Max Mayfield

The Final Tag List: @artiststarme @allbymyselfexceptformycactus @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @itsall-taken @m-owo-n @zerokrox-blog @runyousillydetective @grimmfitzz @wonderland-girl143-blog @sapphirecobalt-1 @scheodingers-muppet @victor-thee-corvid @apricottree @bookbinderbitch @sleepyboosstuff @biatcgh @pixiefallingupthestairs @grtwdsmwhr @thepainisspicy @carlyv @eboyawstenn @bisexualdisastersworld @bidisastersworld @abstractnaturaldisaster @evix-syne666 @nerdsconquerall @lololol-1234 @goodolefashionedloverboi @chaoticlovingdreamer @a-little-unsteddie @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @elluminis @tailsfromthecrypt @danili666 @plyerice27 @alittlegreyfish  @n0-1-important @no-upper-limit-to-stupidity @maya-custodios-dionach @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @heaven428 @thedragonsaunt @ceaselessly-watching @imfinereallyy @messrs-weasley @sharingisntkaren @nohomoyesbi

[amybizarre]

Welcome Home Cottagecore AU

Yeah boi, here we go- I posted about it already on Wattpad and AO3, but I wanted to offer it to more people! ^^ I only have a scribble of Cottagecore Wally rn, but hopefully a more proper drawing will come soon! Aside from that, enjoy some facts about Wally and introductions for the other neighbors under the cut! ^^

About Wally

1) He is 3ft smol! :3 (Yes, canon height >:3)

2) Wally is a little menace. But he's cute. So he gets away with it.

3) He always rolls up his pant legs a little, otherwise they'd be too long.

4) Of course Cottage Wally always wants to look dapper, so he wears his pompadour, a now green ascot, well worn dress shirt, olive waistcoat and his usual or brown shoes.

5) His absolute favorite piece of clothing however is his giant, oversized, beige cardigan, that the newest neighbor in their village (that neighbor being YOU) "lent" him.

6) You'll never get it back.

7) The sleeves are so long, they cover his hands most of the time. Which comes in very "handy" when "borrowing" apples from Howdy's farm.

8) Without his cardigan he gets very cold and upset.

9) That's why he wears it ALL the time. :)

10) All his clothes are mostly brown, beige or green.

11) He loves drawing outside! That's why he always has twigs, leaves and flower petals stuck in his hair. And the occasional bandaid on his "nose" or cheek, cause man's a little clumsy.

12) Wally blinks owlishly (like, one eye at a time) when he doesn't understand something.

13) Home is a tree house in this AU!

14) Underneath Home, Wally has a flower garden, where he grows his own special "spiral flowers".

15) Wally can see through these spiral flowers.

16) Wally has given each neighbor a spiral flower as a symbol of his friendship and platonic love. :)

17) Wally has an especially fluffy bed of flowers underneath Home's entrance, so he can just jump down into them without getting hurt.

18) Wally loves to nap in flower beds. No matter where.

19) He has a swing made from vines.

20) Flower crowns all day baby! One for every occasion and weather.

21) If his flowers wilt a little, he will ask Julie to drop by and talk to his flowers to figure out whats wrong with them.

22) Wally has freckles in this AU! :3

About Howdy

Howdy is a farmer in this AU, who does both: Grow crops and raise animals. Whatever his neighbors may need, be it wheat, milk, butter, cheese or wool - no matter! - he's got it all and is happy to sell or share. It's a lot of work tho, to maintain a farm. Even when he's got four hands! So naturally he appreciates any help he can get and will repay accordingly. A jolly, big floof with a big heart, who adores a good joke to lighten the mood during work.

About Poppy

Poppy loves to go on walks in the woods. She has a little nack for collecting all sorts of mushrooms. But fret not! She knows each and every one of them by heart! Same goes for all types of herbs, nuts and berries and everything else you can forage for. She usually ends up cooking stock, conserving/drying the things she collected, to make tea from it or even home made medicine. She always makes wayyy too much for just herself tho, so she gives a lot of it away to the neighbors. Sweet, gentle and caring as usual.

About Frank

Frank is the local librarian, who keeps the small community building (where the library is in) in check. He's also keeps bees as a hobby. His bees usually fly around either the community area or Howdy's fruit trees. He knows a lot - and I mean A LOT - about all sorts of insects, with his favorite still being butterflies. Frank always seems to act a little off when Eddie's around. He is usually very disciplined and stern, but likes to loosen up every now and then.

About Eddie

Eddie is your local mailman! And if he isn't delivering newspapers or letters, he helps Howdy out on the farm. He just looooves the animals there. He's quite clumsy and gullible, sure, but he has the potential to be the best friend you could ever ask for. His favorite spot to hang out in is the community area of the village. A big guy, who is (not so) secretly an even bigger softie.

About Frank & Eddie's relationship

Now, both of them are obviously gay. For each other. A LOT. Eddie is super chill and open about his feelings towards Frank and likes to flirt with him whenever he gets the chance. Or he flatters him with small gestures like giving his hand a smol kiss, when they meet.

Now here's the thing: Everyone knows that Frank is gay. Except for Frank himself. He's just way too stubborn and proud to admit to himself that he's fallen in love with Eddie. Thus he hasn't even figured out he's gay yet. But: He still gets this fuzzy feeling and red cheeks when Eddie's around. Frank still gets flustered and worked up, when Eddie gives him a compliment. Which annoys Frank to no end, because he cannot figure out why he's feeling the way he does. But Eddie is blissfully unbothered by this, knowing exactly what's going on with Frank. So he keeps up his flirting and patiently waits for Frank to come out of his shell.

TLDR: Shenanigans ensue. In a comical way. And yes, they'll become a couple later on. ;)

About Sally

Sally is an aspiring musician and poet, hoping to swoon the world one day. She can often be found just lounging around in scenic spots, strumming away on her guitar or banjo and humming these sweet, sweet tunes. She is a dreamer and more easygoing character, who adores poetry and duets with her friends.

About Julie

Julie is the local florist in the village. She knows every single flower by name, considering she can speak to them. She likes to help her friends to tend to their gardens and keeps the flowers in the community area in check together with Frank. She is a very chipper gal, who enjoys quality time with others which may or may not involve taking them on little adventures outside of the village.

About Barnaby

Barns is still Wally's best friend and tells his jokes like there's no tomorrow! But the Funny Business isn't his only one! He usually helps Howdy with herding, when Eddie isn't available or does all sorts of odd jobs throughout the whole village. His friends and neighbors appreciate him for his helpful and relaxed nature. When anyone got a problem, he usually calms them down by already having a good solution and offering to help. The only downside? They'll have to endure his petrifying puns all the while!

[youareinlovetv]

you wake up. you get out of bed to your alarm set on your phone, and go downstairs to eat breakfast. you decide to go on tumblr for your morning scroll while eating, and find that the ads have gotten more frequent now. they’re all for mobile games. and you can’t mute them because there’s no mute button. you decide to go to youtube to watch a video instead but remember that you have to skip 2 15 second ads just it watch, with 10 ad breaks in an 8 minute video.

you get up and finish getting ready, and go drive to work. on your way, you see dozens of billboards advertising medicine, restaurants, and other things. you turn on the radio to be bombarded with an ad break that feels longer and longer each time you turn on the radio. you open spotify instead and find out your premium subscription expired because you forgot to pay it. no worries, you don’t need it! you shuffle your playlist and after the first song plays, 3 30 second ads play back to back, with the most annoying sounds possible. after your ad break is over, spotify teases you and gives you a 10 second ad saying how you should buy premium.

you arrive to work and open your email inbox to find that half of it is spam, filled with ads and offers for services, dumb skin care products, fake deals on stores. you close your email and decide to listen to a podcast while you work. 5 minutes into the podcast, without warning, the hosts go into an ad break and talk about their new sponsor. this goes on for 5 minutes more. you turn off the podcast and decide to work in silence until you go home.

on your way home, you see the same billboards teasing you like they did in the morning. you don’t get tempted.

you decide to go to the store to get a sweet treat for yourself for all the work you did today. as you’re checking out, the cashier asks if you want to join their rewards program. you say no. they insist. they describe all the “offers” and “benefits” of the program. after saying no 6 times, and waiting 5 minutes, they stop trying. you leave the store.

you go home and decide to watch a show. you open your streaming service to find that they demoted you down to an “ad-supported” tier, and to get no ads again, you have to pay a higher price. but it shouldn’t be that bad. you start playing the show, but 5 minutes in an ad break comes on. it lasts 5 minutes. there’s 6 ad breaks throughout the 44 minute episode. you quit watching after the 2nd break.

you decide instead that maybe you can watch some tiktok to unwind, but that was a bad decision. half of your for you page is cluttered with sponsorships, temu-grade products, and livestreams of people baiting for money.

you close tiktok and think about how boring your life is, so you google “things you can do to make your life less boring”. the first 10 results are all ads for amusement parks that cost too much money and games that also cost too much money. after scrolling through the ads, you find articles with lists of ideas, but by #100 they start repeating the same ideas, but with different wording. you closed the tab after seeing the 6th pop up asking you to subscribe to their email list.

maybe you can read a book! you’ve already read all your physical books, so maybe you can read one of the books you got for your kindle. you pick up your kindle and see an ad on the screen for some dumb product. you put the kindle down and decide to go to bed early.

laying down in bed awake, you wonder how we got this way. how riddled our society is with marketing, corporations, and ads. why everyone wants to sell you something. why instead of making something you love and sharing it with the world, you ruin it with greedy marketing schemes and tactics.

but you can’t do anything about it, can you?

you close your eyes and try to sleep.

you dream about a world without greed, and realize that it’s never going to become a reality.

[undergroundbillions]

we're thinking about doing another round of pin buttons, and if we can we want to do as many characters as possible. but to keep things simpler for ordering and shipping, we've talked about selling them in packs! each pack would have 3-4 pins in it and follow a theme (like a pack of evil triumvirate characters, or a pack of doll characters). pins would likely be $2-3 each plus shipping, and packs would combine the prices appropriately.

so I'm just gauging interest on what people would prefer:

single pins only. in this case, we'd only be able to make 6-8 different designs available. but it means the smallest amount you can buy will be lower, and you can pick and choose which ones you want

packs only. in this case, we'd be able to make 12-15 different designs, but you'd have to buy multiple packs if you really wanted characters/designs from different packs. it would also be far simpler for the ordering and packing process on our end, and we may be able to sell them for cheaper

I don't just want this to be a poll though, I'd love to hear your thoughts! Please reblog and reply!

FAQ:

No, this is not an announcement of pins for sale YET. Hopefully in the upcoming months! We will make announcements when they're available.

We have not chosen an artist yet, but we already have a couple in mind. We plan on commissioning one person for all designs.

[wikiwis]

what are some of your normaler headcanons :>

Sorry I'm replying so late, anon. I had a harder time, but I'm back now :)

My Normaler headcanons:

1. My favorite headcanon is that Onceler hates horror movies and Norma loves them. Onceler once tried to impress Norma by watching a horror movie and ended up having to sleep cuddled up next to her for weeks.

2. Onceler liked to play with Norma's hair.

3. Norma was the first person he showed his green outfit to.

4. They often spent time just sitting next to each other, him playing the guitar and she reading book.

5. Onceler tried to teach Norma to play guitar.

6. Onceler was an overprotective type because he had never been in love and Norma was the first person who cared about him, so he was afraid if he did something wrong, she would abandon him.

7. Onceler believed in horoscopes and looked to see if his zodiac sign and the Norma matched. If not, he was angry and said that horoscopes were not true at all. If yes, he was happy and said something like that horoscopes always tell the truth.

8. When Onceler became rich, he became a better flirt and romantic for Norma. He gave her many gifts even though she said she didn't want that much from him.

9. Their relationship was healthy at first, but then it became more and more toxic.

10. The old Norma and Onceler's relationship was back and much healthier than when they were young.

11. Onceler wrote a song for Norma.

12. Onceler fans were jealous of Norma and Onceler's relationship.

13. They often danced together, but after Onceler's transformation, they did it less and less often

14. People in town were shocked why Norma was dating a weirdo who was trying to sell them something.

15. Onceler fell in love with Norma very quickly because he had never felt anything like this in his life.

16. When Onceler fell in love with Norma, he listened to love songs all the time, watched and read romance novels, daydreamed, sweated at the sight of Norma, etc., and the Lorax thought it was some serious disease.

17. Onceler would sometimes say something so romantic that Norma would be shocked and blush.

18. They liked to watch the stars together.

19. When Norma didn't kiss him goodbye or something, Onceler was afraid he had done something wrong.

20. Onceler just liked to watch and admire Norma.

21. Norma liked to see Onceler focused because she thought he looked "handsome".

22. Norma loves to tease and flirt with Onceler and he is always so nervous.

And I think that's it. :*

[strawberrystepmom]

!!!!! will you pretty please share more lore around your black clover sona? 🤲🏾

well now that you’ve given me license to yap be aware that i will….you have been warned.

but let me start with the basics about kendall the eldest daughter of house melro, nicknamed the blackbird.

- 11 siblings, two of which are full and the other nine are half. ten of these siblings are girls and the youngest is a boy. lord melro is a serial philanderer, it is what it is.

- mother was clover kingdom nobility, father is diamond kingdom nobility. their marriage was arranged and my mother’s family is wayyyyyy wealthier so it was an easy sell for my dad whose family was minor nobility in diamond. he hasn’t been back to diamond since and doesn’t really care what’s happening there lmao and my dad inherited her fortune and titles when she died when i was 16.

- was once heir to everything, thanks to the rules of my mother’s house that have always allowed an eldest daughter to become head because she was an eldest daughter and had all sisters, but once the youngest and only boy was born my father changed his mind. marrying me off became imperative at that point. he was born when i was 17 and a year out from debuting.

- i received a grimoire at 15 and waffled about my desire to join the magic knights for a bit too long and when my mom died, i decided to stay home and take care of my siblings. all of them. at the time there were 8 of us.

okay and onto the juicy stuff which i will put below a cut for everyone’s sake. this is the master of whispers stuff, etc etc.

- the wizard king attends a classroom session for a group of noble girls to oversee how the magic in the kingdom is developing. my magic is movement based and he found my spell translucent cloak very fascinating because it allows me to remain move completely unseen and undetected for 60 seconds. i can use this ability on up to four other people around me but there is a ten second penalty for each person added meaning if i have four people and myself, we have 10 seconds to move.

- he asks me if i would be interested in joining the magic knights and i told him due to my responsibilities at home, I believe it’s better for me to stay behind. he’s disappointed but understands and a couple years later, he asks me again bc there’s a lot of buzz about my debut which was a whole thing and i decline again bc my father wants me to be married immediately but im like visibly upset so Julius offers a strange alternative - to be his ears. im popular in noble circles, im trusted, people dont suspect a thing about me and he knows my magic is beneficial for subterfuge and diversion if i’d ever need it

- I agree but I’m extremely skeptical about how this will work out. this dude barely knows me, I barely know him and he’s putting a lot of trust in me. it ends up working out splendidly though because i have an ear for the good stuff, naturally, and people open up to me. i dont report anything to him except for things that could potentially be problematic in the future and he’s pleased with my performance

- i am proposed to by a nobleman not long after this begins and i turn it down. my dad is patient with this one and understands to some degree that I want to be at home to take care of the kids which he won’t complain about so he can go be a dick elsewhere. after that, three more come and I turn each of them down because I don’t want to have to choose between men I hardly want to be in the same room with and working for Julius and defending my country in my own way

- by the fourt failed proposal (im 22 when this happens) my dad doesn’t find it cute anymore bc now he has a real heir and he just wants to get me out of the house. he tells me the next one i have to go through with regardless and we fight about it but I ultimately agree but plan to basically scare away any suitors that come. I continue working for Julius as expected and he begins to trust me even further, appointing me his spymaster although it’s not a formal title.

so yeah! it only becomes more useful as time passes and of course this is a very secretive position and nobody knows about it. people have suspected but nobody can prove anything and until I met yami, I intended on keeping it to myself. I told him and he was maaaaaaaad at me and assumed I was spying on him at first but once he confirms everything with Julius he gets over himself

Julius legit tells him “she’s terrible at deception but wonderful at making friends. she’s a natural” and who is he to disagree

[maklodes]

I saw some threads in which people were condemning use of agave syrup, on the grounds that agave cultivation has deleterious ecological consequences.

I haven't actually checked whether agave cultivation is more destructive than growing potatoes or carrots or anything else on a per calorie basis, and I don't know whether environmental damage per calorie is the best metric, but my curiosity took me in a different direction: how much agave goes to agave syrup, how much goes to tequila, and how much goes to mezcal?

I'd think agave farming associations would have this data -- that they'd be pouring over the data, trying to see if they could market agave-syrup baklavas, wondering whether they could somehow sell people on a double-tequila margarita for Taco Tuesday specials, etc. Maybe they do, but I can't find it.

For the amount of agave syrup, I found this site, ominously called Mordor Intelligence, claiming that the agave syrup market in 2024 was $187.24 million. How much agave is that, though? One Amazon source of bulk agave is $147.58 for 44 lbs. (There are other sources, but they don't differ radically.) This suggests that about 25,322 tonnes of agave syrup were sold in 2024. A USDA source claims that agave syrup is about 68% sugar by weight, the amount of sugar being sold in agave syrup is around 17,219 tonnes. (I have way more significant figures than is justified here, but I'm leaving them in mid-process.)

Mordor Intelligence claims the 2024 tequila market 457.96 million liters. Tequilas are, I've heard, often 80 proof, or 40% alcohol by volume. So a liter of tequila should, in principle, have 400 ml of alcohol, weighing 0.79 g/ml * 400 ml = 316 grams of alcohol. It's generally accepted that fermentation yields about 55% of the starting sugar mass as ethanol. I.e., 1 kg of sugar will give you about 550 grams of ethanol. So each liter of tequila started from 575 grams of agave-sourced sugar.

This suggests that the amount of agave-derived sugar going into tequila is about 263,119 tonnes. Except one thing: a lot of tequila is not pure fermented agave. Up to 49% of tequila can be some other neutral grain spirit. This could potentially cut sugar going into tequila to 134,191 tonnes.

So, back-of-the-envelop, it looks to me like 7-8 times as much agave goes to tequila as to agave syrup, although some tequilas are higher than 80 proof, and contain more than 51% agave sugar, so this is probably something of an underestimate. I also feel there's a lot of uncertainty in the agave syrup quantity estimate -- is the agave syrup market the market for selling agave from farm to processors, or is it final purchases by consumers? I think most consumer agave syrup is bought in smaller batches, at higher per-volume prices, than the four gallon Amazon agave jug, so perhaps total agave sugar in syrup is an overestimate.

What about Mezcal? I tried to figure that out, but I got exhausted, so I'm not sure. The North American market page puts market volume at 19.73 million liters. The global market page puts Mexican exports in 2020 at 4.8 million liters. So is ~15 million liters consumed within Mexico? I don't know if I trust this data. I don't know if I trust a lot of the previous data either. I think it's a significantly smaller market than tequila. if anyone has good data on Mezcal -- or better data than what I have on agave syrup and tequila -- I'd certainly welcome it.

(I'm not going to disingenuously pretend not to understand why some people on Tumblr get super mad about agave syrup rather than condemning Friday night margaritas, but that seems to me like a fairly obvious and uninteresting phenomenon, at least in my current state, so I focused on trying to reverse engineer the allocation of agave from scattered data on final agave products.)

[pickingupmymercedes]

So, I'm pretty sure George is going nowhere unless it's on his own will. Toto is not the only decision-making person in Mercedes, and the others seem to be very pro George. There has also been a lot of media content of him lately, not only in European/Western media, but also in China. There is no reason to let George go, especially not in his current form. Toto has been loud to praise him in German TV, has been defending him and they do have a comparable relationship, they know each other since George was 15. In my opinion, the Max/Kimi talk was about who gets the other seat and not about having both of them in one team, and Toto really like to stir up the media sometimes. Even if George decided to leave the team after 25, there will be many teams to gladly pick him up, so we should not worry. It's nothing but speculations after all. (and I have not heard anything about that handover, but that would be the most stupidest thing Mercedes could do. Lewis won 6 world titles with them, Kimi has never raced in F1 before. That's even more pressure to put on him, and he will not be the number 1 driver from the beginning as he has literally zero experience. I'm really hopeful to believe that Mercedes know that and don't expect anything from him in the first few races.)

So, I'm not a Russell fan (also not a hater, he's just not one of my favs), but I've been a Merc follower for a while now.

F1 is not only about markets and advertising, but it plays a huge part in it. Specially since Liberty took over. And the drivers today either win enough to be constantly on the up or they have a strong commercial appeal (in a ideal world you get both).

I, particularly, have noticed a different approach to media from Russell's team this year (it was due, honestly) and maybe I'm biased here, or haven't paid enough attention, but it is his third year in a Mercedes, and he's not as commercially appealing as he should be (kind not his fault to some extent).

I have a pretty wide access to Chinese and Japanese media (because of my work) and, again maybe I'm being biased, but even Alonso sells better than Russell in those markets. It's also nowhere near the likes of the Mclaren's, Honda powered drivers, Lewis, and Yuki/Zhou.

In the Americas, his position is slightly worse tbh. In the US, the Ferrari duo, Lewis and Checo are the main faces, and I really thought he'd have some sort of easier introduction in Latam with his first win being in Brasil, but he's just not there, (again, markets I have easy and wide access too)

Now, in Europe, I think that's where his biggest selling pool is. His image sells to the old-money/heritage type (and I have a personal view that that's like 1/4 of the reason it's so hard for him to sell in eastern/latam markets) but in Europe it hits the jackpot.

All this to say, I don't think Max is in contention to a seat so he gets to show how valuable he can be (commercially), because he's already a multiple wdc anyway, he's gonna sell regardless. Russell, we already have a somewhat decent outlook. Kimi's the one we have no idea of.

I also wouldn't take what Toto says to the media to heart. Like, at all. For a number of reasons but the main one being his loyalty is to his money. He is a business man, first and foremost.

Do I think Mercedes is actively planning to get rid of Russell atm? No, not in the near future. But for 2026 maybe. And not only because of driving, or season results alone, but because F1 and the teams need to sell, and George's image sells to a very specific demographic.

Now, as for leaving only on his own will. Anon, please it's F1. It's Mercedes. They forced Lewis, of all people, to leave. The guy who won 6 wdc and 8 wcc with them. And I hope Russell's camp is not as dense as Sainz's and their blind belief he was irreplaceable (because no one in that circus is).

But I do agree George probably has a good couple of almost garanteed seats should he leave Mercedes.