#people like this have strong opinions on the way that others chose to identify and live but when they are hurt and are suffering

[tariah23]

Twitter is literally just… Liveleak/ rotten.com all over again. You cannot go on there even casually without running into fucking assault shit, animal abuse (a few zoo clips just went viral within the last two days……….. TWO had been rec to me because of twitters atrocious algorithm that just puts literally anything on your feed. I don’t really go on my feed like that anyway so I miss out on most stuff. I scrolled by so fast🗿), child abuse, hardcore gore/murders, and accidents, literally anything, man.

[gazeofseer]

Direction of light to the browns of your life (;

Browns, what grounds you and what burns

You, deeply underneath too.

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Fatalist is term used for the one who confuses the go with the flow to become prone to act or intent and choosing not to play which will keep them under the fate, is a state of your fear, dear.

Instances of yours : You so badly wanted to take a decision about something quite recently but you step back and waited for the fate to decide for you, but you got more confused now that a week has passed because your fear covers non existential ideologies to appease your mind's guess.

You are a damsel but not in distress but in the capture of your mind's vivid imaginary and illusions that seems like a vision but is not, remember this is the world of manifestation whatever comes here is a by product of your state of being not of your state of reactions and idealism, it is birth out of your actual reality.

So there is a lot of confusions now, to clear which you need to seek your intentions do you really intent towards what your presume to be your purpose? Question that bloody dream does it dares to manifest when you will fail or will it vanish like a delusion you just had to gauge your mind off the bait?

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Overthinking is not a disease it is a power of your discipline that flow of thoughts you find a way out of your head quite smart right? Quite logical and prideful to feel right as always, but where do you hide those wrongs, those mistakes, that makes you feel like sinner to do so? You don't strive for perfection, you actually like one, great pretentious can be a great tool unless it becomes wavering, unsettling and making high while feeling the lowest in this moment right?

So much of right, I hear a feminine voice with chuckles shows how confident you are about everything you have, and the way you identify yourself with things, but when you endear it as an experience it's annoying, you start nitpicking, for your thoughts it found a flow in your mouth that you keep bickering, playing to some extent, what leaves bitter in this after all? Is the distance you feel within your authenticity and a convincing truth you lied around about.

You are not sad, not in pain, not in guilt or even regret you are disappointed in yourself, for the way you feel, for the way your head takes over all your heart like a devouring death you smile upon.

You need to really, really stop giving value attention, to your thoughts it's mere exertion of your senses let that go liar are those who say you become what you think, you become what you believe in, you become what you feel like is the mere intuition's guide.

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Shed many scales left my scars, even broken the light from the star I held so tightly underneath the sight of wars I had, battles I am fed with, all I could ever be is tired even with the best of the person, I had to feel sorrow and pitful, like an aftermath I stayed in people but with a different story to state of torns, I don't know anything, but I always told about everything, I lend hands and ears, and get rewarded with swords and screams.

Warrior, My champion how does it feel to be your very own thing? Great right then what is the guilt lying in there? There is a cobweb of perception you have crawled your mind through break that, your giving too much importance to the words of others getting absorbed in take your time alone and chose silence sometimes words must fail you so you can see what people mean was truly never about you but the way they feel, they want, they need about you. Do not get into the play of says and opinions they are void. Anyways you have strong instincts and intuition you either way don't need that.

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[lover-of-mine]

Another controversial opinion I have is that I legit hate the whole Buck fell too early take. I feel like where we're at right now, arguing that Buck had anything other than a strong admiration/crush on the hot coworker he chose to ignore because he has intimacy issues and didn't want to mess up the friendship he had going once he got to know Eddie, and then never looked at it again because he sucks at identifying emotions, you have to end up arguing the fact that Buck is actually over Eddie, because Buck would never date someone while actively in love with someone else, because he has a whole thing about people who are not all the way in, so he would never actively put himself in that position. I think Buck doesn't have enough awareness of his own feelings to realize he's in love with Eddie.

[beardedmrbean]

Charrise Lane, a senior at Florida A&M University in Tallahassee, wants to re-establish what would be the only active chapter of College Republicans at a historically Black college or university. There’s just one roadblock: She can’t find an adviser for the group to be recognized on campus.

According to FAMU guidelines, no student organization can become official without one.

“I’ve reached out to professors,” said Lane, a 25-year-old public relations major and registered Republican.

“The two that responded said they couldn’t do it,” she said, adding, “So it’s not like I’m not trying.”

While rare, College Republicans have had homes at HBCUs in the past. As recently as 2016, there were at least four HBCUs with GOP chapters: Howard University, Morehouse College, Central State University and FAMU. 

The College Republican National Committee, which has been around since 1892, is an unofficial affiliate of the Republican National Committee. The group touts a presence on nearly 2,000 campuses across the U.S., according to its website. While there are more than 100 HBCUs in the country, none are home to an active, official College Republicans club.

The national organization did not respond to multiple requests for comment.

Lane said she and three other classmates have met at least twice this school year in an unofficial capacity, and attended a presidential debate watch party with Florida State University’s College Republicans. But being unable to form the organization on her own campus, where 7 in 10 students are registered as Democrats, has been frustrating. FAMU has consistently been able to field an active chapter of College Democrats.

“I believe that Black people are needed on both sides,” said Lane, who noted that her conservative views have been heavily shaped by her Christian upbringing. 

In a four-minute video posted to X this summer, Lane explained that she is a Republican because she believes in a strong traditional family unit, has a more holistic view on preserving life, including opposing abortion, and supports school choice among other issues — values she said are representative in the history and ideals of the Republican Party, but not necessarily reflective of the voices that are currently at the forefront of the GOP.

Because Lane and her like-minded peers aren’t being catered to on campus, she said she won’t give up on her quest to bring a chapter of College Republicans back to FAMU.

School officials told NBC News that any new campus organization needs at least 10 members and a faculty adviser with at least three years’ standing at the school to become a registered student organization. In certain circumstances, FAMU is open to working with students — but they have been unable to successfully partner with Lane to date.

Felicia Barnes, assistant director of student organizations at FAMU, said the university would welcome the College Republicans back to campus. This week, Barnes shared names of more professors for Lane to reach out to.

“They’ve been here before, so it’s not like it hasn’t been the organization here,” she said.

Lane recognizes that, in many ways, as a self-identified pro-Black conservative at an HBCU, she is an anomaly, sitting at the intersection of what some critics would call contrasting ideologies. She’s been ridiculed, she said, by “both sides” that argue her traditional politics are often at odds with her own desire for progress for Black Americans.

“From Republicans I get called a Black supremacist and sometimes they say that I race bait, and then, from the Dems, sometimes I get called an Uncle Tom” and other racial slurs, she said, for her affiliation with Republicans. 

“Sometimes you don’t fit in with either side when it comes to your opinions.”

Still, she said, after transferring to��FAMU last fall after stints at a majority white private Christian college in South Carolina and local community college because she didn’t connect with many of her classmates or professors, she yearns to be around her people — even if most of those around her disagree with her political views.

History of College Republicans at FAMU

The last time the College Republicans had an active chapter at FAMU was during the 2018-2019 school year, according to alum Marquise McMiller. 

Currently leading government relations for one of Florida’s largest public school systems in Orlando, McMiller re-established the organization during his junior year in 2015 and led the group as president for three years, he said, before someone else took it over in its last year before going dormant.

“At FAMU, the College Democrats are always prevalent,” said McMiller, who earned a bachelor’s degree, master’s degree and a Juris Doctorate from the school. “I felt like there needed to be representation for the other party.”

At the time, McMiller said the chapter had six members that met regularly, and while there wasn’t significant backlash to the organization on campus, he said the group’s presence did make some students on campus uncomfortable. 

McMiller, who describes himself as an evangelical moderate and fiscal conservative, said that the current political landscape on campus is far more hostile than it was years ago.

“It was not as polarizing of a time as it is now,” he said. “And I’m certain that, given the policies of the governor and the stances that the Legislature has taken with the supermajority, the climate at FAMU is probably not responsive … to stand with the Republican Party.”

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, a Republican, in recent years has taken aim at diversity, equity and inclusion efforts including restricting how race can be taught in school, blocking the teaching of AP African Studies classes, and defunding diversity programs at public colleges.

Lending support to Lane, McMiller sees the push to once again establish the College Republicans chapter on campus as a “novel effort.” But while McMiller is still a registered Republican, he has grown disillusioned with his party and said he is unsure of how he will vote in November. 

“It is my strong position that African Americans shouldn’t be a part of either party,” he said.  “I think both parties do not give the African American community its full attention.”

College Republicans back at FAMU?

The decision to push to bring back the College Republicans at FAMU for Lane didn’t happen overnight, nor has it been a particularly comfortable undertaking for her. With more than 70,000 followers on Instagram and X, Lane is a prominent voice within young, Black conservative spaces. She chose to spend her first year at FAMU not speaking publicly about politics on campus, in hopes of building an organic community with those around her, especially after failing to doing do so at her previous school.

It worked for some time, she said, but when people in her orbit began to notice her on social media, many of the relationships she built with people on campus shifted. Now, she doesn’t know who to trust. Most weekends, Lane said she finds herself working or keeping to herself after being menaced online for her stances.

“People have threatened to go fight me,” Lane said. She said she’s received intimidating messages against her and her mission through an anonymous social app called Fizz, where FAMU students have to login with their school email address to get access to campus-specific posts. “And being threatened these days doesn’t faze me, but being threatened by students, it kind of shook me a little bit because these are my peers.” 

She detailed some of the threats, along with screenshots, in an Instagram video.

Tevon Blair, a co-founder of Xceleader, a nonprofit group that empowers HBCU students and alumni to be leaders, said it is “important for HBCU campuses to offer spaces for students to explore all political perspectives.” It allows students to make more informed political decisions. 

Still, said Blair, who leads the nonprofit group’s Vote HBCU Program, “HBCU students, specifically those located in Southern states, often see the direct impact of Republican-led state legislatures on their education. This includes chronic underfunding of state-supported HBCUs and the introduction of laws that influence how students vote, learn, and experience college life.”

About a month from the presidential election, Lane said she will continue pushing to re-establish the College Republicans as a new administration at the school gets put in place. Regardless of what happens, she doesn’t expect the entire campus to like her, she said, but she does expect respect.

“At the end of the day, politics is politics,” she said. “You shouldn’t threaten someone’s life over it.”

[hxhhasmysoul]

Opinion on Maki?

I like Maki as a character, I’m not sure I’d be close friends with her as a person but I think she could be an okay person to know. 

I like how Maki’s story isn’t really that closely related to the main story of JJK i.e. Kenjaku’s plan. She gets to have her own stuff, her life doesn’t exclusively revolve around Kenjaku, Sukuna, etc. At the same time her story is very strongly tied to the themes of JJK. It’s a story about an oppressive, abusive system and about how it can’t be reformed, just destroyed, and how it won’t be satisfying for those who would do that because of what it will cost them. It’s a story about a woman in a patriarchal system. About dehumanisation, being valued through the lens of strength, gender and assimilation into the status quo. About family. About loss and loneliness. About how much it costs to be true to yourself. How much strength is a false idol and power ups don’t mean shit, they are not worth it. About how sometimes it’s impossible to reconcile opposing desires/goals. 

But this is probably not what you’re asking for in terms of detailed answer XD

But for the longest time this was all I could come up with because I didn’t know how to frame a more complex answer. XD

I don't know if you wanted salt either but well, this is what I came up with. Sorry it took me months...

I think Maki is one of the characters that the fandom mistreats a lot. And various parts of the fandom mistreat her in various ways. 

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“OMG Maki’s the worst for what she did to Mai” aka the victim blaming crowd

So to this group Maki not staying with the Zen’in for Mai’s sake is the worst crime. Often worse than what the Zen’in actually did to Mai, because hadn’t Maki left… 

I will be honest, I’m biassed against these people because Mai really reminds me of my abuser and the way these people excuse Mai’s behaviour rubs me the wrong way. Especially with how many of them openly say that they identify with Mai, or hint at that. To me it often feels that by excusing Mai’s rancid behaviour they try to excuse their own, and like whatever trauma you go through, it’s not okay to harm strangers and then excuse it with the said trauma. It may explain the behaviour but never justifies it, it’s still shitty behaviour and I actually like that JJK’s stance on that is consistently critical. 

The situation into which Maki and Mai were born was abusive and traumatising to both of them. Women in the Zen’in clan are less than men, their worth is measured by their looks and willingness to be meek and subservient. Also non sorcerers are treated as less than. 

Which actually made Maki’s start in that family harder and Mai’s. She had her Heavenly Restriction and a blunt personality, didn’t want to become a servant. Mai’s cursed technique and personality, on the other hand, made her seem slightly more palatable to the Zen’in. 

And this difference between them informed how they tried to cope with the abuse. 

Mai chose to try and make herself smaller and participate in the system, make herself as invisible as possible so that the oppressive system would not pay attention to her. The joke was on her because that strategy doesn’t offer much protection. Even if Maki had stayed, sooner or later the family would’ve remembered about them. If Naoya had forced himself on Mai there’s not guarantee that Maki could’ve protected her, if he groomed her, which I actually find more likely, then he would’ve forced a wedge between them first, isolated Mai maybe by showing her favour. Like Maki’s presence there would not have made Mai safer and would not have guaranteed that the Zen’in wouldn’t have turned them against each other.

Maki chose to try to defeat the system by playing by its rules. She wanted to become the head of the family, to become someone so strong and respected in the jujutsu society that she could take over the family. The joke was on her because the clan rules or the jujutsu society rules were never meant to work for her, they were meant to uphold the status quo. 

In their circumstances there was no right choice for either of them to make. It was the Zen’in’s choice to target Mai after Maki left. It was the Zen’in’s fault Maki wanted to leave in the first place. 

The Zen’in acted like textbook abusers who try to put the blame for their behaviour on the victims, want to make the victims feel responsible for what happens to other victims. And the fact how much the fandom is okay with that framing is sickening. Older children that get old enough to leave an abusive household often are blamed like this and often feel guilt that they wanted to protect themselves, as if they owe others their suffering. 

Maki wanted to come back, to make the Zeni’n clan more livable for herself and Mai. Her thinking was very naive, but so was Mai’s. They were both abused kids who had nowhere to turn for help. They both tried to survive in the way that felt the most reasonable to them. They both failed at what they tried.

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The even more far gone “Maki exploited Mai” aka the victim blamers meet performative feminism crowd

Some fans go further, claiming that Mai was exploited for Maki’s power up. 

After their father brutalises the twins and leaves them to be mauled by the curses, Maki is ready to die with Mai. It’s very clear Maki missed Mai, that she loved her dearly despite their differences. Maki feels defeated and done. She and Mai are finally close again, finally talking again. And Maki is ready to die there with her. She finds closure in their reunion, however brief and tragic it is. She does not want Mai’s gift, she doesn’t not want Mai to leave her, she doesn’t want to live without Mai.

I could even call that moment Mai’s little revenge. But like endearingly, without any malice. I don’t judge Mai for what she does then, like I don’t judge Maki for what she did. The roles here are reversed. 

When Maki left the clan, she made that decision despite knowing Mai would not like it and that she was leaving Mai behind. As I said, she was justified to do that because she didn’t owe suffering to Mai. 

In their death scene, in the curse pit, Mai makes the decision to leave Maki behind even though Maki asks her not to. Maki doesn’t want to stay in the world without Mai, she calls Mai her heart. Maki’s subsequent revenge on the Zen’in is performed without any sense of achievement. It’s clear she feels nothing at that point. 

Saying that Mai got exploited for Maki’s power up does not only willfully ignore how Maki behaved in that situation and how she reacted. It also disrespects Mai.

Abuse strips people of true agency and reclaiming even a sliver of that agency always comes at a cost. Maki’s was separation from her beloved sister. Mai also showed some agency then, it may feel awful to call it that, but she did make a choice to stay because it aligned more with her personality and desires. The alternatives both of them were presented with were awful, and neither made a true free choice, but they both showed some agency. Because abuse usually offers people such shitty choices, so their acts of agency are marred with regret and doubt and maybe even resentment.

In their death scene Mai shows her agency again, this time it is her who makes a choice for both of them because she’s the one with the power in that situation. Maki wouldn’t have been able to heal Mai and leave her with a weapon or with her strength. She also wouldn’t want to because she knows that Mai doesn’t not want to fight. Maki never pressures Mai to leave the Zen’in with her because she knows Mai doesn’t want the sorcerer's life. 

Mai still chose between two shitty options: die alone and leave Maki or die together. But she chose the one which aligned the most with her own desires and the one that she surely thought was the most aligned with Maki’s. 

When Maki left the Zen’in clan, Mai felt abandoned by her. I wish she understood that it was the Zen’in who took Maki away from her because they made it impossible for Maki to stay there, maybe then Mai’s fans wouldn’t be so confused. Maki actually realises who took Mai away from her. 

The nastiest part of the exploitation take is when its proponents pull gender into it. Try to align Mai with femininity and Maki with masculinity. I’ve written about how messed up it is to call Maki masculine. And this is done very deliberately to make hating on Maki “excusable”. 

When this sort of terfy “feminism” is used, it comes with the belief that masculinity is by default bad and anyone aligned with it becomes by default the exploiter, the abuser, the powerful one in the situation. And hating men has become normalised in terf infested online “lefty” discourse. 

So if they first align Maki with masculinity and Mai with femininity, then they can sound justified in talking about Mai being exploited, Mai being the sole victim of that situation. And Maki is the evil one.

They can willfully misinterpret the Zen’in massacre as some male power fantasy that Maki has enacted and ignore Maki’s words or state of mind. Maki is not “feminine” enough in her grief, she’s not hysterical and crying. Maybe if she was like Megumi or Yuuji, those unmanly crying weaklings, then it would’ve shown that she really cared.  

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The “Maki is just Touji 2.0” aka the what the heck is story analysis and reading comprehension crowd

I don’t even want to devote too much time to these people. Because their point boils down to: Maki has the same powers as Touji so she’s exactly the same character as him, or like a replacement for him. And my main reaction to this is honestly just sighing and rolling my eyes.

Because seriously, both characters have more to them than just their powers.

 They have different personalities. 

The Zen’in clan had a different attitude to them, despite the clan rejecting them both. 

The way they relate to other characters is completely different.

Their character arcs are different.

Their role in the story is completely different. 

The way they play into the themes of the story is different. 

Their Heavenly Restriction and blood relation are the only two similarities. And the fact that the Zen’in shitstains only see Maki through the lens of her gender or her strength. Maki had failed as a woman, completely when she became disfigured, Naoya was very clear about that. So she was measured by them only by her strength. And the only way they could find a point of reference for that strength was by equating her to the one they had all rejected and feared: Touji.

Oh, okay, I forgot Maki now has the same hairstyle as Touji, my bad, they are the same character.

I think that there are two major drivers for people to hold the opinion that Maki is just Touji 2.0. 

There are the “archetypes, tropes and parallels” people. People who when they interact with new stories try to find similarities to other stories and when they catch a glimpse, a faint scent, of a trope or archetype they will latch onto it and then zero in on everything that will  confirm that yes, this is it, it is done exactly the same way as in other stories. And they will willfully ignore any creative deviations in how the story uses the trope or archetype. 

Or if the cognitive dissonance becomes too much they will get upset at the story and the author, which is extremely common among the JJK casual watchers/readers turned haters when the story turns out not to be what they assumed it would be. 

And the same for inside the story parallels. For them a parallel between X and Y often means that X and Y are the exact same thing. Like they will aggressively try to prove that Yuuji, Nobara and Megumi are a repeat of Gojou, Getou and Shoko due to I guess, the gender ratio matching, even if doing that means ignoring everything about these characters. And they will also do it when it comes to Maki and Touji. 

The other group are the fandom rancid homophobes who are often, but not exclusively, Gojou or Getou or SatoSugu fans. Their main point is that they decided that Gege is a man (which may be true, but Gege doesn’t officially gender themself) and that Gege wants to fuck some of the characters they’d created. 

There are 2 characters that are most often mentioned as the objects of Gege’s supposed carnal desires: Touji and Sukuna… 

Okay, I will be blunter because it’s not only homophobia but also like with an extra layer of bottom prejudice. Gege is accused of “dick riding” the characters, and that’s not an accident. As isn’t the fact that disrespecting Kenjaku, when it takes a sexualised form, is always about them taking it from behind from Jin. Because these people - and I can’t stress this enough, a lot of these people ship M/M ships - these people will still love to treat homosexuality as degrading, especially being a bottom. 

These people will just say that Gege can’t live without Touji so Maki is in the story solely so Touji can be mentioned. They will also often frame it in performative feminism, because how dare Gege mention Touji sometimes when Maki is concerned, that means that Gege doesn’t care about Maki at all and is just thinking about Touji. When it’s most likely the fans just see Maki as Touji because they don’t really care about either character and they don’t know what they are about.

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The “Gege killed Maki on International Women’s Day” aka the no object permanence meets performative feminism crowd

So these are the “champions of feminism” in the fandom. Those who will scream that “Gege hates women”. And the moment Maki gets hurt and isn’t instantly shown to be alive, those people will instantly assume Maki was killed. And scream that “Gege hates women”.

It doesn’t matter that it makes no sense considering what Maki’s been through in the story thus far. It doesn’t matter that it reeks of terfism and misogyny to assume that even small damage a female character takes means that she is incapacitated/dead, when it’s not assumed of male characters in the same story who are taking much more serious damage. 

What matters is performing feminism on social media and feeling justified in posting vitriol targeted at Gege.

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tl;dr

In the way the fandom treats her, Maki suffers from not being a sexyman but sharing her powers with one. She also suffers from not doing the victim of abuse and dehumanisation right.

[enterthedisneyverse]

I think this is an opinion that can be formed only after listening to thousands of hours of music for decades.

Who is one of the greatest song writers of the past 100 years?

Billy Joel. Undisputed.

I know there are lots of other artists who you all might fit the bill, but where Billy Joel gets them is the diversity of his music. Listen to the following songs:

Piano Man

Uptown Girl

We Didn’t Start The Fire

Lullabye (Goodnight My Angel)

You May Be Right

Just The Way You Are

I could list more classics, but I chose these because they are completely different genres. Piano Man has a strong folk rock vibe and makes me feel like I’m sitting in an old pub. Meanwhile, Uptown Girl is full on doo-wop, a solid 30 years after the genres heyday. We Didn’t Start The Fire is a solid example of late 80s/ early 90s pop rock, while Lullabye (Goodnight My Angel) is a beautiful pop ballad to his daughter. According to Wikipedia, the song was originally supposed to be in the style of a Gregorian Chant, and I can hear it if you listen to the chords chosen for the opening and think of it on a church organ instead, like in Hunchback of Notre Dame. You May Be Right is a solid rock song with touches of pop, reminiscent of the early 80s music, and Just The Way You Are is a soft rock jazz piece.

I didn’t realize that all these songs were by the same person until I was an adult. Here’s who I originally thought they were by.

Piano Man: Elton John (probably as a kid I saw Elton John performing on the piano often)

Uptown Girl: Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons

We Didn’t Start The Fire: any one of the 80s rock bands from the UK. I can’t pinpoint one

Lullabye (Goodnight My Angel): this one might have been closest to my perception of who Billy Joel as a kid

You May Be Right: I genuinely thought this song was by the Rolling Stones for a LONG time.

Just The Way You Are: Tony Bennett

And while I didn’t list it above because he didn’t write it, he’s the original performer of Make You Feel My Love, aka my favourite Adele song.

There are so many great songwriters now, but they all have a distinct style that is easily identifiable. Billy Joel jumped between genres completely with each album so effortlessly that I think many people not familiar with his music would think they are all different artists, like I did as a kid. That takes incredible music skills. He needs more love from younger generations.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[papirouge]

Make no mistake Candace will embrace zionism again if Palestine falls and Palestinians are forgotten. She is by nature simply a contrarian - she will ALWAYS take the other side regardless of what that side is. If Tate suddenly becomes mainstream and accepted, she will inevitably speak out against him. If feminism goes underground, she will be a feminist. Her grift is to be loud and go against the popular for views and attention. Her husband from what I’ve seen is pretty submissive (very funny how ALL of the married “trad” girls I know of that pander to the right and claim they only love aggressive masculine and traditionally dominant men never marry them, they always find the quiet submissive men that are house husbands that don’t really work) so nothing he will say will matter to her either. Her running back or trying to run back to black spaces is because she doesn’t want to be attacked now for being a black woman now that she’s vulnerable. Yet she still wants to bring white peoples feelings in those spaces too so she can stay on racist white people’s good graces because that’s her nature - to always to be the opposite. Black spaces are for black feelings, she knows this yet she will do the opposite anyway. All for attention. Just a pathetic person

She reminds me of an old friend I had. My friends and I started a gaming group for just ourselves, just black girls gaming and having fun without any worries. It was so much fun except when my ex friend tried to invite and get her white male friend involved. We told her no, this space was for black women only. She called us racist and sexist while her white friend just moved on He never cared about joining since he wasn’t even a gamer, it was all her idea. We had to block her and move on too 💀

Wait a minute- are you talking about the black gamer girl discord group drama ? Are you aware this drama came over tiktok?? 👀 Why am i only half surprised that a fellow black girl shoved this white dude there though ? 💀 Not that white men trying to invade black (female) space is unprecedented, but as I always said, Black women are EXTREMELY male identified (probably more than any other race) so I'm not shocked this black woman did the most for her White male friend.. TRAGIC.

YOU ARE SO SPOT ON FOR CANDACE 🎯

It's so confusing to see her talk about her husband and how she chose him because he was her match intellectually speaking when he doesn't strike as such 💀 He's definitely not stupid, but I feel like there's a major dissonance between how she "sells" him, and reality. Their dynamic is very loopsided : he only talks about her, while she's -very publicly- taking all the attention. Sorry but there's nothing less submissive or traditional in this marriage dynamic. Even the way her own camp talks about her doesn't reflect any idea of feminity - they talk about her like an attack dog. A smart, eloquent one, but still a dog. When Shapiro and his Daily Wire clique turned against then dumped her, nobody felt sorry for her. Even those who defended her knew she was the Strong Black Woman™️ and would ultimately get back on her feet. Candace herself is so energyetically masculine she didn't remotely think about leveraging her femininity to grasp some sympathy (emotions) by saying how she felt betrayed or left out. Nope. Like a soldier, she got back on her feet and started campaigning to fund her next venture.... If anything, Candace is the posterchild of feminism. Nothing about her screams traditional or feminine.

And it makes sense bc Candace is so bigger than life that she would hardly be able to find someone to match her level - especially among conservative men who absolutely don't come off as the intellectual type.... To reach that goal, she would've had more chance with Asian men since she said before her boyfriend all her earlier boyfriends were Asians (Korean and Japanese) lol

And yeah, that's exactly it : she's a contrarian. That's why her opinions have no consistency whatsoever. Like, you can't blame feminism and try to reinforce traditional gender roles onto society......while defending a lover boy/pimp/porn producer/fornicator aka Andrew Tate.

That's why contrarian are so politically stupid btw. They're often lumped with the right, but rightoids at least have a set of value tenants that won't change depending on whether they're popular or not. But contrarians? They'll hate things to the point of cognitive dissonance. We witnessed it A LOT these last few years. For example, tpeople who were against the c0vid shot and (rightfully) called out the msm propaganda and lies to push it, often used the fact of being against the "popular opinion" (=getting the vaccine) as a proof they were right. Well it was pretty shocking to see a lot of them turned out to be big supporters of Israel/Zionism, and sided with the very same msm they bitched against non stop a few years before. Their primitive contrarian mindset made them believe that because they were against Palestine (= the popular opinion) they were right once again..... And they have the same pattern with Musk, Trump, Take and every problematic/controversial figure they think unabashedly supporting means they're doing right against the MatRix - or whatever it is.

And this issue isn't only with right leaning people : it was extremely disappointing and disgraceful to see people support the TikTok ban in some wack intellectual superiority move, and (indirectly) campaign for the same US government they were shitting on FOR MONTHS over what it's been doing in Palestine. Mind you, they are the same crowd saying shit like "yOu aRe nOt iMmuNe tO prOpagAndA uwu" when anyone with a IQ higher than room temperature would grasp that this ban was a way to CONTROL TikTok which is the least biased media platform when it comes to social commentary or news coverage (especially with what's going on Palestine right now). But nooooo, those idiots refuse to look at the bigger picture and want it shut down because of a handful of dumb tradwives and pro ana mentally ill girls. PLEASE.

I've said it and I'll say it again : nothing you see on TikTok is unique to TikTok or happens because of TikTok. I'm a millennial, I'm old enough to remember that social contagion/reproduction the most destructive trends always happened since the drawn of the internet. In 2002 it was on message board, forum, etc...in 2024 it happens on social media - not only TikTok. If anything, those big SNS corporation centralizing the lot of internet communication help having a better outlook on social trends. Instead of having to patrol gazillions of obscure group chat with no mail adresssed required to post shit, the special services only have to lurk on social media 🤷🏾‍♀️

Oh and one last thing: 99% of the shit ppl complain about TikTok I never see it on my dash. TikTok algorithm is INSANE and manages to spoon fed you what you like 9 times out of 10. So there's 2 possibilities : either 1) they're the problem and should stop entertaining content that harms their peace 2) they're lying and just rehash the stuff other people say without checking by themselves if that content is *that* pervasive on that app.

[katyspersonal]

Let me get this straight.

You were accused of several phobias based off of defense of a trans person that genuinely needed support? I just caught up on the posts and the responses and it looks like that person held some very problematic (cliche right-wing bs) beliefs but I can tell you didn’t support those beliefs per se. You wanted to prevent a trans person from being attacked during a bad spot in their life. You also didn’t mind sharing their fandom posts and being their friend because you knew that what they really needed was someone to help them. And it looks like they’re gone now?? Un-fucking-believable.

Now all of your mutuals are getting anonymously targeted by the same person that called you out? I am just a lurking witness but this person attacking you is the latent tr*nsphobe. They bullied and isolated someone for trying to help a struggling trans person. That is vile and I hope they rot in hell. Disgusting pos. Weaponizing tr*nsphobia is the number one no-no in fandom spaces and it’s a dead giveaway for who really care and who doesn’t. Helping a trans person through shit even when they are sharing harmful rhetoric takes balls. Good for you.

Gosh... This is always a heavy topic to talk about for me, especially when you put it THIS plainly. I think this is the most direct way to summarise the situation I've seen yet from a person that's not close to me (it is a compliment).

I must specify though - the "trans person" identified as trans man for about 13 years but since then revoked the term and now prefers to simply be described as GNC. In the end, he doesn't find the label he feels truly comfortable with, but this is still a person that is female in documents but male in fact and this IS an important bit in the whole story. Some people might argue that no matter what, but anyone not identifying with assigned gender counts as trans, that I get, but he has strong reservations and negative experience with the community that he shared multiple times - something the bully stalker you're referring to chose to ignore.

I think feeling identically homeless is an awful thing - he cannot line with the cis heteros (you can't just will yourself to identify as a straight girl when you are a gay man lol), but queer community has become ridiculously toxic with infights, imposing stereotypes on each other, ruining each others' spaces, cancelling each other over thoughts 'out of line', claims that someone's different experience harms the rest of the demographics upon being spoken of and god knows what else. You could figure that even in his younger years, he was excluded from his own identity and grossly bullied and misgendered because of the notion of "you do not belong in the queer community / you are not a REAL trans person if you support the [insert an opinion that has nothing to do with being trans]".

This is absolute fucking HELL from the sound of it, and I can't imagine LIVING it. You are so RIGHT for calling Alfred-chan (aka Clod Frollo, aka Slander Man) a latent transphobe. That they absolutely ARE. They do not see trans people (binary, nonbinary, generally GNC, whatever) as PEOPLE, as human beings with their own lives, history, opinions and differences. They see them as ideological soldiers in the "war" against them nasty white cissie hets and they are the EXACT garbage type that will exclude someone from their own gender/sexuality if they fail to match the checklist of strictly western libertarian opinions. They believe that to be trans or gay/lesbian is to have only certain beliefs on everything else that is not relevant. If not seeing trans people as people is not REAL transphobia, then I don't know what is.

From how you're talking you must be familiar with the cases of imposing very suffocating and concrete opinions and behaviour standards on a person for them to not be bullied as "not real" or "not proper" queer person. Some trans/GNC people will be conservative, some will be Christian, some will say 'instead of making 60 abortions just exercise protected sex already because abortion is a murder'. Because they're people, they come to different conclusions in this life, and no one should be put under obligation to assume only certain values to simply have their identity acknowledged.

ALSO from how you're talking you must be familiar with the situation of abusing the sympathy pool for selfish goals. This is exactly how #metoo got a dirty name. Alfred-chan used a very painful, vulnerable topic (transphobia) to fabricate lies and manipulate narrative with the goal of removing the bitch they disliked (yours truly) from the fandom. In general they are ridiculously nasty towards anyone that speaks against them trying to bully certain group of fans - people that clarify nuances on G3hrman as a character, insist that Maria is not "canonically a masculine lesbian" but instead is up to interpretation (that she is) or simply like G3hrmaria ship. They are terminally unable to see people (or fictional characters) outside of stereotypes and cannot acknowledge variety of identities and experiences. Yeah, I was proclaimed a witch to burn over the awful sin of trying to listen and help someone instead of throwing them away like a trash, but even before that they had quite a beef against me; they joined the fandom, lured some audience with cute mari4deline art and then decided to divide us into "normal fans" and "nasty misogynist lesbophobes without media literacy" just after the disco horse in the fandom started to die down. And I said NO YOU DON'T. Still, when they cannot harass people over reblogging a meme from me, they harass them for having an opinion on Maria that isn't 100% like their.

They do not care about trans PEOPLE, they care about trans 'identities'. These are different things. They appreciate diversity of flags and labels, but not diversity of experiences, opinions and backgrounds. And if you do not fit - you are a broken gear in the machine, you are not a proper 'soldier', and you must be thrown away. And if someone picks you up? They are the evil one, if not MORE evil. Kindness, patience and understanding are the bad things, but violence, cruelty and exclusion are what makes you trustworthy and good by their logic! True face of the fighters for "acceptance and kindness" as you can see! Fuck the Golden Ord- errrr I mean fuck this hypocritical corrupted witch-hunting nonsense.

----------------------------------------

I'd also not say that his rhetorics were "harmful". Again, Alfred-chan likes to twist what someone says to benefit their witch-hunter narrative. You can explain yourself with maximal logic, nuance and clarity, only for that person to ignore absolutely everything you said except for ONE thing they COULD twist against you, base everything around that thing and then play a victim. If you had the misfortune of knowing a 'narcissistic abusive mother' - the type of manipulation is shockingly similar. He was always ready to explain things properly but witch-hunters are not interested in removing the conflict - they are interested in removing YOU.

I also believe that free speech reveals the opinions, not creates them. Basically, opinions do not cause harm - PEOPLE do. If all it took someone to support this or that right-wing opinion is to read a post from a stranger online? Congratulations, a person found their tribe. It is GOOD if everything is revealed and everyone takes their place, it is GOOD if groups define their territories so you know where they are,. If many people believe in a "bad thing" - this means that many people ARE bad, and dividing and silencing them won't change the truth, only conceal it until it inevitably breaks through. Scaring people never changes their hearts, only makes them strike HARDER when they're ready to do so. Like what in the Brador people try to say with hating the truth revealed SO much? sdfjhdshghds

Me and him argue quite often, but when you befriend someone, it is a very bad thing to argue with them publicly. It borders the level of abusing a friend. If you have a friend that consistently shames you on public - this is not a good friend, and you should inform them that you are not their means of looking virtuous before some strangers/guests. On the brighter note - yes, the person is gone from Tumblr, but he is living his better life now. He got a therapist, he goes outside more often, he found a new passion that gave him sense of purpose, overall his life is getting better.. and he is happy that I get to be a part of it!

[anotherghoul666]

ghoul!! bc my brain cant leave things alone i've been stuck on the masks post u made for a while ... does being attracted to things i view as "creatures" count as terato ... bc at first i was like nah i dont have that..... but here i am lmao

i also wanted to ask u what knowledge/experience u may have with solo poly? i really like the concept of it but dont actually know anyone who is rlly in the poly world

(also also ? i agree w owlish abt the anonymity thing and wanted to take a name to sort of allow the option of anonymity if thats chill w you? ideally batty or 🦇 (bat emoji) whichever one is easier)

Well, like any other kink or -philia, terato is something you get to define for yourself and chose to identify with or not. I can't decide what counts as teratophilia for you. I think the core aspect is, what do you mean by "creatures", and how human are these creatures that are objects of your attraction. Cause terato is attraction to the monstrous and non-human. But like, humanoids and human-look-alike monsters have a huge following too. Some humanoids lovers would consider that terato, some wouldn't.

Like, let's say someone's super into the idea of a shapeshifter creature. If the shapeshifter only shapeshifts into different humans, is it still a creature? Is it non-human enough? Do we ever see the "true" shape of the shapeshifter, does it even have one, or does it always need a human vesel, and if it does, is it monstrous "enough"? The concept of "enough" is up for you to decide. Some people would say loving a shapeshifter is terato by default cause monster; some would say it only is terato if it has a monstrous shape too or if it shifts into monsters and not just humans; some would say if it shifts into humans at all it isn't terato anymore. That's 100% subjective and for you to decide.

If you wanna give me examples of what these things you view as creatures are, I can give you my opinion, as in, would I define that as terato or not for myself, but I can't answer for you. (that being said, if you also just wanna share the objects of your monsterfucking attractions for the sake of sharing them and getting hype over them with someone, my inbox and/or DMs are ALWAYS open for some creature loving!!)

Now! as far as your other questions:

I have no personal experience with solo poly, because I have a life partner and I have only been in the non-monogamous lifestyle within the context of this anchor partnership + other partners that want to share my life and/or my partner's life in various ways. So I cannot comment on the solo poly experience on a level that would be satisfying or well informed enough for my standards. I,m sorry! That being said! I'd recommend getting in touch with your local poly comunity. Yes I guarantee you there's one where you are, even if you live in a small town. At the very least a bigger town nearby will have a local community, and you can reach your local people online. Us non-mono folks are everywhere. Google or look up on facebook for local poly groups; or reach out to your local queer community as we tend to have ties with the non-mono community as well; or reach out to your local kink/BDSM sommunity if you're involved in that as we also have strong ties with the non-mono community and often share sexual diversity spaces. There will be people there who can give better information about solo poly than I can.

(and for an anon name, please feel free if that makes you feel more comfortable!! I already have a bat / bat emoji anon though, so I'd advise picking another one so you two do not get confused for each other.)

[lemonhemlock]

bg3 anon!

i would have replied sooner but... well, you know. i didn't want to be on any sites at all, truthfully, so i've basically only been playing a bit and looking at build videos, some limited stuff on the bg3 subreddit, that sort of thing. i'm just... so tired.

anyway. i'm currently out of the underdark and investigating rosymourn monastery. i did all the underdark quests (i think) but did not take the elevator to Moonrise Towers because i wanted to explore as much as i could.

" Yeah like with all due respect because I don't want to sound offensive or god forbid try to diagnose people I don't know in real life, but many Astarion fans (plus a few others in the fandom) need to seek out a good therapist. It's clear many use this character as an emotional crutch to cope with the problems and traumas they have which in theory should be fine but after interacting with them it's obvious they are not doing so in a healthy manner.

It's understandable to identify with a fictional character and it's normal to use fiction as escapism but they take it so, so far that they just can't differentiate the actual canon between what they projected onto him anymore. Some unfortunately also have the habit to (un)intentionally trauma dump onto everyone else and constantly use phrases like "As a survivor…" likely to guilt you in order to sell their own interpretation of the text as the only valid one. After all, if a survivor tells you something it means it must be true and moreover, it's shitty of you to contradict them, you know? If you try to politely argue against them, they lose their marbles and hit back with "just say you hate survivors". It doesn't even matter if you are also a survivor who may or may have not decided to come out as in a fandom space (why would we though, many of us are private persons).

I had witnessed similar behavior in the HOTD fandom where antis were employing similar tactics when trying to harass people for shipping incest, claiming they are were a danger to real survivors like themselves without knowing that many of those who were targeted by their horrible behavior were also survivors who simply chose to interact with problematic media because it's a safe environment that allows you to control the outcome. Not everyone is the same nor are survivors a monolith, in the end it's on your own responsibility to curate your fandom experience.

So, so true. The weaponisation of trauma survival as a means to lord over people in fandom spaces is such a creeping blight in online discourses and serves no one. It alienates fans and traps the perpetrators in an echo chamber from which they themselves might have trouble healing. And this whole nonsense is not even about enjoying the Ascendant storyline or writing fic about it (anyone can do that and entertain themselves or find a form of catharsis), simply about insisting on it being the good and non-abusive ending. The bar is in hell!

The self-insert nature of the game doesn't help either, you can tell most of them self-insert into their Tavs. This isn't a problem in itself, but when you express a negative opinion about some of the things you can do it in the game, they will take it as a personal attack because that's what they would've chosen to do had the situation been a real scenario (hope this makes sense!). I know this sounds crazy and again it's more of a personal opinion, but I think it explains a lot of their behavior.

I get what you mean and I do think there is a strong urge at play here to "justify" oneself and one's choices. Similar to how, in the HotD fandom, we had so many people siding with Rhaenyra automatically because she is a woman and of course women should get to rule and are not wrong ever.

But, in truth, I actually wager that some of them would truly, really NOT make the same choices if this were actual real life somehow, they're just blending fiction with reality in an unhealthy way. Like, if a fey creature showed up and asked to drink their blood, pretty please, they would most likely say no, like any normal person in that situation. Because the threat would then be immediate and not diminished by the safety blanket of fiction. "Realistically"-speaking, this is a strange man you don't know, who threatened you with a dagger at your neck just a few days ago, who's not even particularly nice to you and is rather obviously out for himself. No, I don't really believe even the wives would be so eager to indulge him if this were a real scenario. So, it's all the more embarrassing to be stirring shit up and making discourse out of nothing.

And, you know, it's FINE if you want daddy dom Astarion to ravish your delicate flower self and what-not, but there's really no need to find ethical worth in a horny fantasy, nor is that something achievable! Nor does it have to reflect back to one's moral character. There's no shame in finding the handsome vampire hot! Just have fun with it.

But these wives are forgetting that, just because someone is charming and dandified, it doesn't translate into sound judgment or moral worth, not in real life and not even in fiction. He can be very charismatic and still unable to make the best choices for himself.

Also, while there isn't a definite canon in BG3 since it's an RPG game and your playthrough is your playthrough and what someone else chooses to do in theirs doesn't mean it's something that applies to yours, when analyzing Astarion (or anyone else) as a character you have to take all dialogue options into consideration to reach an informed, valid conclusion. You shouldn't cherry pick the dialogue option(s) that's more likely to validate your preferred interpretation, that's now how it works. The AA situation is a good example of it: it's true that by choosing the loving options where you don't cross him, you can perhaps say he is loving partner but it's also true he will be awful and show his true colors if you go against him. Likewise, just because you do not choose to break up with him, it doesn't make his refusal to let you go away after the tadpoles are gone ("your future is mine to decide") is any less valid. In conclusion, yes, he does become abusive if he ascends. Constantly stepping on eggshells around your partner and only saying what he wants to hear from you is a sign of the relationship turning abusive, if it hasn't already.

Yeah, this is so true and I've had one of these lines already. The first time in the goblin camp I refused to give him a tadpole and he went all feral cat on me (and this was after he came onto me!! the knave!!). But when I did my second playthrough, I thought I'd make Mirta a little bit of an avatar for the Beholding / Eye (since I already gave you The Magnus Archives podcast link, it's one of the fear entities the show is about. this one in particular deals with things like scopophobia, the absolute terror of being known, of being judged or the pure experience of fear or of the unknown). So, she'd be a little like "oh, so you insist on being an absolute idiot? Might as well get a little entertainment out of this" and hand him just enough rope to hang himself with (you know, the kind of morbid curiosity that lends itself to terrible things sometimes). And so, I told him he could have the tadpole and he was all polite smiles and smug demeanor. Pompous prick!!! 🙌

It does seem to me that this part of the game is kind of broken, or at least not integrated enough, because 1. I don't think it's fair that you can ingest even a couple of extra tadpoles with no consequences (this is my understanding at least) and 2. I didn't get any approval or disapproval points from him. He just said that he'll pop one out of my backpack later. Now, I know he's not going to rummage through my stuff and steal it, like, I actually have to make him take one mechanically if I want his Illithid menu activated, so it was purely for show. But it feels rather empty, still.

Anyway, this is also just a game at the end of the day and its complexity is limited in that it can mimic real life, but not truly represent its quagmires, because character development is not linear for living, breathing people. So, I definitely agree that AA harping at Tav and biting back whenever he encounters the slightest resistance is meant to be a Red Flag, but irl sometimes, when you navigate a difficult situation with the "right" conversation, it allows the person to calm down and even grow from that experience. Like, they can later reflect on their bad behaviour and how wrong they would have been to lash out if they didn't hear what they wanted in that moment. But this is obviously something that doesn't really translate that well to becoming an immortal vampire lord with superpowers or whatever - like, by that point, they're too far gone to be able to interrogate their wrongs. But it could, perhaps, apply to Act 1 stuff when everything is still very raw from their trauma and still indulging in unhealthy coping mechanisms.

I want to add something rather surprising I've noticed about some wives. There are a few of them in the fandom who even claim to have degrees in literature (one is even teaching English literature at a university) and complain constantly about the state of media literacy in the fandom, the puritan culture that's been sweeping up fandoms lately…yet when you see their take on Astarion, ugh, they are the types who genuinely believe the ascension is his good path and that he 100% turned Tav into a vampire bride. Like how??? I won't elaborate further but yeah…I'll just add that your average gamerbro who likely hasn't read more than two books in his entire life never had such issues in getting the actual message of Astarion's story. They may not like his character (quite the opposite) or paid any particular attention to him and his romance, but at least they immediately understood ascension isn't his good path.

Yeah, when your garden-variety basement-dweller gamebro has a better understanding of the basic "good v evil" divide in a piece of media, it's time to rethink the tuition fees you paid for that literature diploma. :))

Ridiculous to think because, even IF Ascended Astarion was the consummate gentleman and the most loving waifu on the face of the earth, how is it helping anyone to bring another vampire into existence? By definition, vampires prey on other living creatures, it's parasitic and hurtful and frightening. They bring misery and problems into any community. Why would you even want to become one? And, again, even if it's like a fantasy kink or something, it would be detrimental to everyone else living nearby! We used to live in a society! It's just so harmful to your fellow man!

All of them have some baggage but he's certainly the one with most of it. It gets worse when you realize that's all he has ever known considering he can't remember his life as a mortal/elf (he "died" at 39 years old), having lost most of his memories because of the amount of torture and trauma (although in D&D lore vampirism itself could be another cause behind the memory loss). He can't even remember his face or the color of his eyes. When you confirm/ commit to the relationship with him in act 2, if you decide to friendzone him he'll tell you he's happy to have a friend because he can't remember ever having one. :( Being with Tav is really his both his first actual friendship and/or romantic relationship if going forward that route. I'm sure he had friends and lovers when he was alive, but it's irrelevant since all those memories are lost.

Yeah, this is what I mean, he's really had an awful turn. Two centuries of that! It's admirable he still has his wits about him and can function. But he needs A LOT of therapy (or the Faerun equivalent). He told me about not even remembering the colour of his eyes or what he even looks like anymore. Which ties a lot into the loss of personhood. If you don't know anything about yourself, what kind of life is that? What would he even like to do in a normal life, if given the chance? The only thing he knows is that he wants the pain and degradation to stop. Or to know that no one in your former life cared enough to try to help Elves, for example, live a very long time, even in DnD and he "died" very young for an elf, so his parents must still be alive. Where are they? Do they even care that their son is condemned to eternal torment? (I know they're probably absent because the writers wanted him with no attachments for story reasons, but, still, if you want to RPG properly, it must suck to think about it).

Which by the way, some Astarion fans hate it when you say that perhaps he needs a friend rather than a lover. It's okay not to vibe with his romance anymore guys!! But they've treated some people so awfully when they dared to say they prefer this option, as if everyone's opinion was in bad faith (the "you are just infantilizing survivors" type)…they should realize not everyone wishes to roleplay a character who got themselves into a situation where someone only started to have sex under false pretenses (he wanted protection so you wouldn't throw him away like you correctly pointed out), nor should they feel guilty into going forward with the relationship just because Astarion will feel bad about it. He's also happy if you remain friends! Just because he is now in a relationship with Tav, this doesn't mean all his issues will disappear, nor will they go away once Cazador is dead. You don't heal in an instant from centuries of constant abuse, torture, mind control and sexual trafficking. Also, just because he doesn't ascend and remains a spawn doesn't mean his relationship with Tav is actually 100% healthy and without issues, at least not from a modern POV or perspective.

Absolutely, not everyone wants or knows how to offer that kind of help to a romantic partner, and feeling way more comfortable to do that for a friend is understandable. It's OK to also have romance goals for your Tav, everything doesn't have to revolve around Astarion. :)) He is obviously very confused about the whole issue himself.

And, fuck buddies or not, it does sting to think that he only slept with you because he wanted your favour, because he goes out of his way to make it seem like he's over the moon about you and finding out he really doesn't rate you is unpleasant. Because it was never presented like the exchange he sees it as; not that Astarion presents it as true love or anything either, but he insists on it hinging on Tav's allure or attractiveness. And that's a delicate topic for people - no one wants to think that having sex with them is a chore.

No one's love life is something that they must sacrifice in order to "help someone out", like, that's not how it works. Your body is your body, not an instrument to cure someone's mental illness. I don't want anyone to take this the wrong way, but it's fucked up to expect that from people. Like, this person is just pretending to want to have sex with me and I'm supposed to not feel any kind of way about it? :))

Also, this is anoter fairly sensitive topic and I would not like to overstep, but I would urge anyone who is identifying with Astarion because of various disabilities or mental health issues and may feel further isolated or hurt by seeing people uncomfortable with romancing him and appeasing him to please not conflate their condition with vampirism. I think these comparisons can work to some extent, but only up to a point. I get the dependency aspect and needing a strong support system in order to manage their affliction - those are reasonable similarities that can help people identify with his character.

But vampires literally suck their victims' blood - it's not reasonable to expect the people within a settlement to be willing to offer their bodies up to feed the resident village vampire. Media often sensationalises this topic (and it's hard not to, since it doesn't exist IRL and there's really no way to tell how it could be managed by real-life people), but it doesn't take a genius to understand that it could very well be a frightening and painful experience for any such blood donor. It's often portrayed in fiction as this quasi-erotic, pleasant experience, but, as we all know, sexual acts especially can quickly turn extremely uncomfortable and traumatic in the absence of consent. Even if the person involved would theoretically consent, for the good of their community, they may very well not desire it at all and it could leave them feeling violated regardless.

This is why it's crazy for me to hear that some wives will accuse you of being 'ableist' if you'd want to find a cure for Astarion's vampirism and that you should just 'accept' him the way he is. Those two things are not the same at all! Let alone any kind of situation which leads to bringing more vampires into the world.

"Gale is most definitely NOT approaching godhood in any capacity. I could not STAND this mediocre white man overpowering ME! I am, though, debating on whether I should let Volo perform brain surgery on him. Mayhaps I will!" I think Volo's eye gives you the "See Invisibility" ability? It's useful but later own you'll find plenty of scrolls and potions of that kind. But if you want to sacrifice Gale's real eye just for the sake of it, then go for it!

Gods above, I did it for the morbid curiosity and it was just awful. Not even Gale deserves that, so I reloaded. I figured that it would be absolute blasphemy for the Beholding to take out one's eyes, so Mirta would not be on board with this. I booted Volo from my camp after I got out of the Underdark, because I wanted to at least give that fumbling idiot a living chance at least. For RPG reasons (I know he leaves anyway after the "surgery" wherever you set camp).

And, anyway.... *drumroll*... I respecc'd to lvl 4 wizard and lvl 2 bard and now I have fairy fire, which allows me to see invisibility anway so I don't need Volo's Trojan horses. Being a bard is so fun, you were so right about this, I can now play the flute(!) and have bardic inspiration as a bonus action. I also got annoyed at how much damage I'd get during fighting and switched Mirta's class to Abjuration - now she gets a cool spherical shield around her when she's hit and it's so much better!

Don't be so sure about Gale not approaching godhood! With Gale, the choice on whether or not he will become a god depends on certain dialogue options you will choose and 3. Unlike Astarion who can be convinced with a persuasion check, with Gale there's a point system behind his decision so the more options you check that lean in one direction, then that will be the result. Quite a few players actually thought they picked the right dialogue choices that would result in him not ascending to godhood but they still woke up with God!Gale in the end. We call it Sneaky God Gale lol. I won't spoil you too much, but you kind of have to push really, really hard against his stupid ideas even if he gets mad and gives disapproval.

He gets more infuriating the more I learn about him! I watched some romance scenes with him from Act 1, out of curiosity, and, gods above, he is SO smarmy. I could never. 😂

"Even if it were manipulation, I’d still do it for his own good. Dumbass needs all the help he can get. " See, if you were to post this opinion in pro AA space, the consorts would've canceled you. How dare you say you know better than him? He says he wants to ascend, do you not get that?

Here's to being his no 1 bully, first and foremost 💪

I know, right? I see where they are trying to come from when saying that it's beautiful to accept him just as he is, drawbacks included (the vampirism) but accusing people of ableism is just not it. Also, the idea of curing him and getting to live the remainder of his life in human years…I LOVE THIS. I don't think I've ever seen this headcanon from anyone!! Anyway, posting it in an Astarion fandom space will likely get you some angry fans who will say it's toxic and abusive lol.

Yeah!!! I'll give him the best human years of his loser ass life! Wizards live longer anyhow (from what I understand), so there's more than enough time for marital bliss. 🤡

"I’m also thinking I’m ready to change the difficulty to medium now (I heard I can do this mid-game). The goblin battles weren’t really challenging on easy and I am intrigued by multiclassing, which I can not do on easy. Dror, for example, was SO easy to kill, I just put Lae'zel and Karlach nearby and they made quick work out of him, he was gone by the third turn max. Elixir of Bloodlust on Karlach is insane." I think it's worth it. The game isn't hard at all on medium once you learn the basics and the multiclassing is worth it. If you want to get into that, I suggest multiclassing Astarion into Rogue/Ranger. For Rogue, I would suggest getting 4 levels in the Thief subclass because you get an extra bonus action for choosing it. The Assassin subclass is also good, but just avoid the Arcane Trickster one. Put all the rest of the levels into Ranger, specifically the Gloomstalker subclass. As for feats the most important ones for him would be +2 DEX and Sharpshooter. You can look into this build: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBREg0F0TCc - I suggest checking out his other ones as well if you need some help with other companions. You don't need to follow his exact stepts but his builds are a good starting point.

Oh, yeah, I had watched videos like that and thought it was a good idea so my Astarion is currently a lvl 3 rogue and a lvl 3 ranger. I also got a mod that gives you a feat every 2 levels, so I'm not worried about battles anymore. I'm not really one to use potions too much and I'm not going to activate the tadpole powers, so it's whatever, I'm not some overpowered demigod either way. I mostly just want to have fun during battles. So I was able to spare an Alert feat for Mirta and now she & Astarion go first almost every fight - who's a cute wittle power couple?? 🎃

" Also, there is a barn in the Blighted Village where an ogre and a bugbear are having sex. If you go there BEFORE entering the goblin camp and let Astarion interrupt them*, you get 5 bloody approval points in one go. Crazy. After that, he made his advances towards Mirta and then the sex scene triggered when I hit long rest.

*you will have to separate yourself form the rest of your party and just knock with him at the door" I thought you did that already!! Did he not ask you to let him open the door? Because when I played and romanced him he asked my Tav when she was about to open the door "please, let me do it!" . Perhaps they patched it out and now you have to do it separately with only him.

No, I had missed this! This particular barn is somehow a little off from the rest of the houses and I went past it completely. That's one of the reasons I reloaded - so many easy approval points, it was a shame to waste. Also, it was pretty funny.

"If nothing else, Halsin will be nice to have for some added flavour and the ability to play with a druid. Minthara, too, because she is a paladin and I have none in my party. Pity you can’t make Volo a companion!" Sadly, even in this regard he's not unique as you will be able to recruit ANOTHER druid in act 2 at about the same time when you can officially get him to join the party: Jaheira. She was one of the companions in BG1 and BG3 and far more interesting than Halsin. There will also be Minsc who is a ranger in act 3, another former character in the previous games. She and Minsc are good friends and they have some good content in act 3.

Unless they fixed some of this in patch 7, he is also very bugged and many of his dialogues are flagged as "flirting" despite them being innocent. At the tiefling party when talking to him you can pick any non-flirty dialogue option you want to and it won't matter. The next morning, if you talk to him again at camp you will have the option to apologize for coming so hard onto him at the party the evening before. Lmao, like when did I do that??? Later, if you later ask him how he fares at your camp he will say something about books, to which you can answer with "you'll find plenty of books, I come across them everywhere"…yeah, that's considered flirting and so is the other option if I recall correctly. And this can go on and on all the way throughout the game…In my case (and it happened to lots of other players, there are tones of complaints about it on the internet) when he finally confessed his love and I rejected him he hit back with "I thought you felt the same way, are you sure???" & "you saw to my needs at camp with the care of a lover, not a host" oh my god just go away dude because I did NOT treat you like a lover lmfao. In this instance he reminded me of those type of guys who think that just because you were nice one time, you must be attracted to them and down to fuck if given the opportunity, but when rejected they complain you were the one who led them on in the first place lmao.

In patch 6 they supposedly introduced a friendship/platonic path for him due to all the complaints but for most players it barely works considering how easy it is to accidentally flirt with him lol…very few people have managed to avoid all of this apparently by not talking to him AT ALL except the quest he gives you in act 2 and by avoiding all the dialogue options that give you a lot of approval.

Gale had similar problems at launch where he took ANY interaction with the player character as flirting, which eventually led him to confessing his love to you unprompted. It was hilarious. Fortunately they fixed it quite rapidly in the next patch which begs the question, why are they not doing it with Halsin...unless he's intentionally coded like this.

Now back to serious matters…Halsin can have a purpose in act 3. Without spoiling too much, there will be a kidnapping plot and he is one of the characters that can get kidnapped (don't worry, you'll be able to easily save anyone once you find the location). The other kidnappable companions are Gale, Lae'zel and Minthara, plus a NPC kid who will potentially join your camp. Also, no romanced companion will be taken. You can metagame your way into getting whoever you want kidnapped by leaving at camp the character you want to get rid of while having the rest in your active party. The thing is that Gale and Lae'zel have major quests in act 3 so you'd best want to keep them in your party if you don't want to fuck the result to those quests, Minthara has a past with the character who does the kidnapping (it's her former abuser) so you'd want her in your party when you go to confront them. As for the NPC…if the kid gets kidnapped, her cat will get killed no matter what you do. And that is unacceptable because no innocent animal is going to be harmed. Which leaves us with Halsin. Considering he really has nothing going on in act 3, he's the best candidate for this. Currently most fans have him kidnapped just to send him to horny jail. Many even kill him then, but I chose not to do it because if he stays alive he will take care of and raise some orphans and I don't want to take that away from them. It's a cute ending for him.

It's a pity because his character is okay if you ignore all of the issues and the fan service around him. Sadly, all Halsin does these days is ending up being a subject for discourse every two weeks or so…he also has a few annoying fans who will try to gaslight you that none of this is happening and it's your fault if you flirt with him (as if it's so easily avoidable) so…that's that.

I'm beginning to see what you mean about Halsin. I've had him in my camp for a while now and he does nothing, just stands there like a weirdo. He doesn't even have his own tent (neither do I, and I'm still salty about it). Doesn't interact with any other companions. And I can't even play with him! It really does feel like he was added as an extra thought.

I got the same experience in talking to him re: flirting. I spoke normally with him at the party because I wanted to lock my second night of passion (😂) with Astarion and the next day I had the option to act all embarrassed for flirting with him. Crazy. Now he's giving me moon eyes. :)) I don't really mind it that much since I do like him, he has a kind of rugged charm, but he's definitely not integrated in the best way in the game mechanics.

"I am so looking forward to hear her dunking on Gale." Minthara also has some nasty banters with Astarion. She says he would make a good pleasure servant in Menzoberranzan which is icky given his past lol. In another party banter she jokes about him probably having some STDs due to his decades of philandering. She is really vicious.

He'd better not have anything though!! :O Just kidding, I doubt vampires can contract and get sick from diseases.

I am so curious to see them together, since Minthussy is bound to be a dommy mommy who'd eat Astarion alive for breakfast. She should be scaring the living daylights out of him, given her background as a former Lolth-sworn drow. I learnt that they really don't treat men nicely down there. :))

In relation to this, I wish there was some options to explore the character of True Soul Nere more, since he abandoned Lolth for the Absolute and comes from a society in which he'd be a second class citizen. At one point, in one of his racist remarks, Astarion even says "I understand saving a drow, but gnomes?" And I was itching to reply something like "really? A male drow? Shouldn't they be considered weak underlings judging by your standards?" or even instill some fear of God into him, since he is also a male elf. 🫵

"Frustratingly enough, Lae'zel and Karlach have me at the lowest approval ratings in the party :)) 31 and 29, respectively. But we’ll do the creche next, so I’m hoping they’ll grow." Once you get to the Creche with Lae'zel to advance her personal quest you will gain A LOT of approval. Don't worry. But yeah Karlach was a bit hard for me, not gonna lie!

"Yes!!! Thank you!!! And, in any case, I think you can fight Raphael even if you didn’t take his deal, so I’m not missing out on anything. I think Mystra is equally lame for cavorting with (and discarding) a human like that, but groomer? Let’s bffr." You will eventually fight Raphael depending on your choices, don't worry…but you may want to deal with him in act 2 in order to help a certain pale companion, just saying! Make sure you have Astarion in your party when you reach the Last Light Inn. If you're now romancing him I guess you have him all the time, I assume?

You know, I was ready to switch him out regardless and leave his ass at home to fulfill the rotation, but he is really fun to have around, so I haven't had the heart to leave him in camp (*he was a punk, she did ballet, what more can I say* 🤡)

"Gale is NOT autistic coded, what the hell? If anything, he is privileged rich kid coded. " Fans will try to woobify their favorite characters, what's new. And yes I think Gale is indeed rich? Not filthy rich but well enough for sure.

I think I'm starting to see why they are rushing to his defense with this diagnostic - he has a tendency to ramble didactically on any given topic without stopping and I guess that COULD be interpreted as having a hyperfixation or a special interest? But Gale does possess good manners, because he can access them on a whim, apologises and stops. IDK, there's this tendency to pathologize any normal behaviour and turn it into something resembling neurodivergency that I don't think is necessary sometimes. People can just be arseholes! FFS, Gale introduces himself as Mystra's fuccboi and he will not let you forget how special and talented he is to have slept with her. Who does that??

"I did get Harold and managed to trade with the merchant. I tried to make the painter make a portrait of Astarion, as I figured it would be a nice gift for him to be able to see himself, but I could only free him. (Of course, Astarion disapproved both that and me giving him money for the road)." NO WAY YOU GAVE HIM MONEY! I REFUSE!!! I'm sorry but had you refused to do it, he would've told you he actually intended to spend the money on getting drunk. Lmaoooo. Sorry!

!!!! I thought he was going to die on the road if I didn't give him money?? 😭 You can't trust no man!!! ☠️

You will meet him again in the city though! If you successfully complete his future quest he can make you a portrait. But no companion will react to it. As for Astarion, yeah it's a missed opportunity that we can't show him what he looks like. However, Ascended Astarion will be able to see himself in the mirror and react accordingly…fuck him anyway.

Whelp....not on my watch! Not before we give him an anti-vampire vaccine like in the movie Blade. 😂

"I think I completely forgot about the shipment though! That cave is so big and I kind of lost myself picking up everything from the ground, so I don’t really know where it is? Or if I can go back? Was it where Zarys was standing?" You can loot it from Zarys' corpse if you gave it to her.

"Phew! I even had Lae'zel come onto me unprompted at the goblin camp. With 30-ish level approval!! She’s crazy lol. She gave me the “I want to taste you” line. Before that, she asked Astarion at the waypoint why he hadn’t attempted sleeping with her. After he slept with Mirta!! Lae'zel!!! " She came onto me after I killed the owlbear mother in the cave. I never got that banter with Astarion though…a lot of the party banters were bugged before patch 7. :(

Fun fact, if you aren't dating either Lae'zel or Astarion, they will hook up at the tiefling party and sleep together. By the way, if Astarion isn't available she will try to fuck Wyll. However Wyll will only want to talk, leaving her disappointed. There is also a bug where she will say to you she slept with Astarion even if you were the one to sleep with him, which led to some Astarion haters to say "see, he went to fuck someone else the moment your Tav fell asleep". Lmao.

Wyll was such a downer at the tiefling party, I gotta say. I'm having some trouble connecting with his character because he doesn't seem to get involved in anything and I don't really understand how to play warlock. It's gonna be ages until I find his dad, so I don't really know what to do with him lol.

"Yeah, I just made the decision that I don’t want to have the Illithid menu activated, even if nothing will happen if I just take 1-2 tadpoles. But, for RPG reasons, we’re doing all of this shit to get rid of them, why would I add more of them, you know?" I didn't eat any tadpoles in my first playthrough either. But I will indulge in them this time with my Dark Urge bard. He's crazy enough to do it lol. Plus, some of the abilities the tadpoles will give you are pretty great. It's just that indulging a lot in them may have some consequences…

"Right?? It would work so much better if he took it down a notch or two. Atm it’s mainly pantomime. I nearly gagged when he talked about “our mutual ecstasy”." You'll get another offer to sleep with him (but no cutscene this time) and he'll try some new lines! Watch out for them!

"I managed to knock her out and free Halsin so fingers crossed!" I hope she won't end up bugged. Before you rescue her in Moonrise Towers from the prison, make sure to make some saves. There will be others who will need saving as well!

Also I don't get why the fuck didn't Halsin transform into a rat or something and escape from the prison lol. Plot reasons, I gues? But it's stupid nonetheless.

I think I may have mentioned something about some recent Astarion discourse… There is this group of "Astarion is actually gay" fans because he acts flamboyantly and two of his former victims she was forced to seduce and bring back to Cazador were men...For many of them it's just their personal headcanon though, which is okay! But some (as well as a few others) often shit on f/m Tav/Astarion ships, headcanons, fan art and even fan fics bemoaning the fact that he's often mischaracterized in a lot of this type of content. It's also apparently heteronormative to ship Astarion with a woman or something lol, that we are delusional to think he would actually be into some of our female Tavs. Some even went as far as saying that Astarion fulfills some women's fantasies of being with a gay man and that's why we like him. Lol what? At first these people tried to excuse it "we are just curating our own fandom space, that's why we mention our dislike for f/m content and we block it on sight because we're gay!" which I fully get since it's understandable for a gay man to avoid f/m content, you know? Here's the thing though: they keep complaining about it even after supposedly blocking this stuff which begs the question: why keep talking about it so much if you hate it so much? Unless your purpose is to gatekeep the character and make women who like him feel bad about it? Because that's what it looks to me lol.

Of course some of the wives got a bit pissed and one of them even used a slur against gay men in response. It was the one I mentioned about pretending to be into a real relationship with Astarion. Anyway, at this point I don't even care this much about them getting shit and being shamed for liking their f/m Tav and Astarion ship because in the past many of these wives joined fandom mobs against others for silly reasons so in a way, it makes me feel lowkey happy they are finally getting a taste of their own medicine. Fellow wives, please do enjoy being called homophobic!!! Meanwhile think of the times you were throwing "-phobics" accusations at others!

Another ridiculous thing to fight about. :)) I mean, Astarion will sleep with you no matter your gender or race or how you look like, so I'm pretty sure he was always meant to be pansexual, all the companions were. It's so goofy to fight about this, it's in the game mechanics.

But, yeah, I understand the feeling of schadenfreude. 🙏

Now seriously complaining about fanon content it's a bit useless. When it comes to fan fic, Astarion is mischaracterized in most of it, INCLUDING m/m ships. In the end many of these authors are really young and honestly? Most are writing for themselves and what they personally like. You are not owed anything. I don't like several tropes either but I won't complain about them existing you know? I just don't read fics including them.

I also want to clarify that not every f/m Astarion ship is getting dunked on, it's mostly those ships where the woman in question doesn't fit the archetype modern fandoms think a strong, capable woman is supposed to look and act like. You've been in the HOTD fandom for long enough to see what I'm referring to lol...what type of women these fans dislike and consider weak.

By the way I'm having flasbacks to those Aemond/OC fics right now, heeelp! I admit to complaining quite a bit about those during season 1 but man...to think Aemond would betray his family to be with Rhaenyra's daughter? And the incessant Alicent bashing every other paragraph?

Yeah, I have done my fair share of complaining (hello lucemond and Rhaenyra's daughter LOL), but, like in all things, I have always been of the opinion that moderation is key here. It can be a relief to have a space to complain about all the things that annoy you and people should be allowed to talk about what they don't like as well, but, if you find that's the only thing you focus on, it's time to take a step back. I hated the Alicent-bashing myself and I'm glad I talked about it and I'm sure a lot of other things will annoy me in the future and I will also talk about them, but some people do make hateposting look like a full time job, when it's really not that serious.

Speaking of goofy HotD tropes, I was browsing the Astarion/Tav tag on AO3 and, of course, I found Tavs named Rhaenyra and Visenya, if you can believe it. I noped out so quick. 😂

I've also noticed that many BG3 bullies finally moved on to the new Dragon Age game and like I correctly predicted, they are now causing discourse over there. I am interested in the DA series but I'm not touching it as I don't want to share a fandom with these people anymore. Playing BG3 and interacting with the fandom (Twitter, reddit, Tumblr) at the height of its popularity has proved to be really tiring and by far my worst online experience.

Oh, yes, I've heard that game is causing quite a ruckus. I've been watching some clips out of curiosity with my boyfriend while eating, just for the sake of having something on the screen, but, I have to say, the fact that most of these commentators sound like incels who have not known the touch of a woman in a long time (if ever) is not helping the critical landscape. :)) Like, I've seen the ridiculous bharv (?) scene and, yes, it was cringy and I understand the game pauses many times to lecture you, but I still haven't properly understood why the game play is that bad, because they're not focusing on that and are instead frothing at the mouth at the idea that your tav can have top surgery scars, you know what I mean? The companions do sound annoying and it's silly that you can only be a goody two-shoes over there.

BONUS 1: https://imgur.com/a/72SRYya - I hope this is bait for their own sake but why do they always talk as if he is real? Not surprised though. I mean it's common even for those wives who seem normal to pretend he is real and say something like "Astarion would hate you for thinking/believing this" as if he's real. Also, him possibly hating some of my takes would be a good sign if you catch my meaning. ;)

"Tactless" - excuse me? I can't believe the way this is worded, I had to pause for a second there. 😂 "Telling someone their partner is an abuser" - he's not your partner!!! And if your partner were behaving like that, I'd hope someone in your life would tell you! Good Lord.

Yet again I'm having flashbacks to Aemond discourse when antis tried to make Helaemonds feel bad with "He loves her like a sister you freak!!! Aemond would actually hate you for shipping him with her!" yeah Aemond is also not real, hope this helps!

Ah, what a golden goose of a discourse this was! We did have some fun in our time! 🤌

BONUS 2: https://wanderingbardtoys.com/collections/astarion-the-vampire-rogue ;) Astarion inspired dildos lol

Holy godsdamned hellsssssssssssssss 😂😂😂😂😂 Why are they coloured like that????

I do have to admit, though, that these are much better than the oversized tick of a penis that toy statue of his had. The one that looks like what I imagine Jabba the Hut's "throbbing member" would look like if I were to entertain the idea and be completely insane. I was even cursed today to see a thumbnail of it when I opened the YouTube app on my phone.

EDIT: Wait a minute, I just had a look at length and girth.... Is he a man or a donkey???

Daddy's "home" - what home?? He doesn't have a house. ☠️ He's jobless.

By the feel free to ignore this if you don't feel like replying, it's okay if you only want to address a specific point. This got way too long..

No, but I do enjoy our little talks very much. It's just I wasn't really feeling like being online that much these past two weeks. I hope you're well and get to read this! 🫶

[carolinemillerbooks]

New Post has been published on Books by Caroline Miller

New Post has been published on https://www.booksbycarolinemiller.com/musings/the-truth-is-the-truth/

The Truth Is The Truth

She’s a star within the Evangelical community, but I won’t identify her for reasons that will become clear.  We met decades ago when I was an elected official. Though I am an atheist, I treated members of the religious right with the same courtesy I gave to Mothers Against Drunk Driving (Madd) when they chose to give public testimony. That’s how it should be. Besides, I understood their reasoning and knew it was heartfelt. If a fertilized ovum is a person, then it has a soul, and destroying a soul would be a sin. I never interrupted to comment that soul and sin had no meaning in secular law. Nor did I point out their logic was flawed. If a soul is immortal, then destroying it would be impossible. What Evangelicals and I do agree upon is that society requires moral underpinnings–an admission that explains how I came to meet a celebrity of the faithful. I was late in arriving at the luncheon to which I was a guest. Sliding into the chair reserved for me, I offered a general apology and then introduced myself to the woman seated at my left. She told me she’d flown into town that day to be the keynote speaker at a spiritual rally that evening.  A woman in her early thirties, she bore a strong resemblance to Doris Day, her smile welcoming and crowned by a row of white teeth. Observing that she was confined to a wheelchair, I never doubted that she lived a life of courage.   We chatted over salads and I learned she was traveling across the country, fundraising to provide wheelchairs for the needy. My ears pricked up like a dog’s at the sound of an electronic can opener when I heard her.  Many of my constituents could have used a wheelchair. I suggested we might work together.     The woman shook her head to reject my suggestion. Her wheelchairs, she clarified, were intended for potential church members.   “You use the chairs to recruit the poor,  you mean?” If I’d sounded incredulous, she didn’t get my drift.  Instead, her lips parted in a dazzling smile.    “Exactly!” By some miracle, I managed to hold my tongue, though I wanted to reply that the church enjoyed tax subsidies, a fact that should entitle believers and non-believers to assistance. Using public money for private purposes was dishonest. Nonetheless, by the time I parted from her, our salads finished and the bread basket emptied, I confess I liked the woman.  My reaction to her duplicity, therefore, was to turn inward. I knew I should have spoken out about the misuse of public funds. Yet, for the sake of peace, I’d said nothing. Returning to my office in the plashing rain, I fell into a blue funk. A lie can be either good or bad depending upon circumstances, but it is always a violation of the truth.  Either way, we humans have practiced verbal deception since we developed a jaw that enabled speech. Many women oppose men-only clubs because absent a feminine voice, they encourage masculine delusions.  At least that’s true for one male.  He admitted that these watering holes were places that allowed men  to exchange ideas and learn from each other without being “canceled” for having the “wrong opinion.”    Many have said a democracy without an informed electorate will fail. When we allow lies to co-mingle with truth, we empower subversives, and that’s why, according to  Eric Hoffer, The character and destiny of the group are often determined by its inferior elements.” (“The True Believer,” HarperPerenial, 2002, pg. 24. To prevent corruption, people should confront those who use free speech to pervert facts. That much is obvious. But a citizen’s responsibility goes deeper. Rooting out the lies we tell ourselves helps us become patriots.   Liz Cheney, recently rejected for the Gerald R. Ford Medal for Distinguished Public Service, is a patriot. She refused to deceive herself in the rough and tumble of politics, though she might have benefited. Instead, she defended the truth and it cost her– unlike the Evangelical celebrity who used charity to be exploitative.  And, also, unlike me who saw the deception and said nothing.    

[rsp13mediasociety]

Interview with Brandon Teena-Blog Post #3

                                    March 24, 2023 by Ryan Pierce

                                    “Interview with Brandon Teena”

I interviewed Brandon Teena about the LGBTQI & BIPOC communities regarding the representation of their communities in film and television. His life story is portrayed in the movie “Boys Don’t Cry” and we wanted to discuss his take on film and television from thirty five years ago compared to today.

Were you able to identify with any characters in the 1980’s and 90’s in film during that time?

Yes I can identify with the movies from back then because some of the movies portrayed women dressing as men, which I always knew I was comfortable with. I can remember watching the movie “Just One Of The Guys.” I was in my early teens and admired that she was able to be one of the “guys” and they accepted her. She made so many friends in the movie and people truly liked her. Even after they found out who she was, her life wasn’t affected by it. Unfortunately that wasn’t the situation for me. I was bullied and shunned from the people I thought were my friends. I didn’t have it easy like the girl in the movie but I could identify with wanting to be accepted for who I am and treated fairly. Just because I dressed a certain way and identified differently than others I should never have had to go through the terrible experiences that I did for being me. After surviving the terrible things that happened to me I remember creating a scenario that I was a character in a movie where my life would have turned out differently and I was accepted for who I am. 

Would you feel comfortable going to see an LGBTQI movie in your hometown growing up?

No to be honest I wouldn’t feel comfortable in my hometown of Nebraska. Growing up during that time was difficult because people were not very accepting of the trans community during that time. If I went to an LGBTQI movie in my hometown it would have exposed me for who I truly am and that is not something I felt comfortable with at the time. When I got older I chose to move away to Little Falls, Nebraska in hopes of starting a new life. Unfortunately things were not easy there and I wouldn't have felt comfortable going to the movies there either. Now that I am in my 50’s I have become comfortable with who I am and I have learned not to care what people think of me and I would definitely go to see an LGBTQI movie. I think back to that time and how unsure of myself that I was because people were so unaccepting of the trans community. Now I would walk proudly hand in hand with my partner into a movie theater without any hesitation. It’s time for people to accept me for who I am without any judgment just as heterosexual couples are not judged for who they are. 

Given the struggles of the transgender community that you are a part of do you feel your community  shares the same struggles as the BIPOC community in regards to film ?

I think that we share the same struggles but in different ways in regards to the way we are portrayed in film. Both of our communities are under-represented within the film and television industry. The roles that both of our communities get in films seem to be unfortunately geared towards a negative reflection and in my opinion there are only a few strong role models. You have to remember there are transgender people in the BIPOC communities so we do kind of have similar struggles in regards to our representation in film. You could even make the argument that transgender people of color struggle even more in being represented in film. I think that our communities as a whole need to have more representation in film and less bias towards us. Film has such an influence on society and culture and if both of our communities can be represented more in film,  maybe  it can educate people and break down those stereotypes that are still seen in film today. They came to me and asked to do a movie about my life. I was very specific on wanting them to portray my life realistically and to show the struggles I went through because of who I am. I wanted it to bring light to our community in hopes of helping someone who may be going through what I did and to maybe break the cycle of the stereotypes.

The transgender community in films are mainly portrayed as victims or murders. What effect does that have on you as a transgender person?

Transgender people have been misrepresented in movies throughout time. We have faced a lot of prejudice in society and unfortunately the films have the power to reinforce negative stereotypes of our community. I think we really need to start educating society about people like me. We are not some “freaks” as some people think we are. I have a right to be who I want to be and shouldn’t be portrayed as the victims or murders. Look at the portrayal of Buffalo Bill in “Silence of the Lambs.” They make transgender people look like we are homicidal maniacs because we identify as another gender. It makes people subconsciously think that we are unhinged and that is not a fair reflection of our community. His role although it fits into the movie I don’t feel they needed to make him  a transgender in order to play the role. It is very rare that you see a trangender person portrayed in a positive light in films. If they do it is made to be comedic and making fun of our community. They need to start putting transgender people in more serious roles so we can be looked at in a different light. 

 bIn today’s society how do you feel the trans community is portrayed in film or television?

I think that the transgender community has come a long way in film and television from the early years. Being transgender was not widely accepted when I was younger as it is today. I really enjoyed watching the television series, “Orange Is The New Black” because Laverne Cox is a transgender actress who has really broken the barrier for the transgender community in television. She is a strong role model for our community and her presence on screen is really encouraging to get us acceptance and inclusion in our society today. Her television series shows the true struggles that transgender people deal with in their everyday personal relationships and the stigmas that come with it. Even in prison she is insulted and made fun of because of who she is. I admire her because she handles the situation with dignity and doesn’t make our community look crazy. I really hope it can show society that we are just people and want to be treated the same as everyone else. Maybe it can help to educate people on acceptance and give other transgender actors and actresses the opportunity to work on films that have more serious roles that portray our community the same as others. It was an honor to interview Brandon Teena to say the least. It amazed me to see  that through all the struggles he’s been through as being part of the transgender community how strong he really is. He had so many tragic things happen to him and he was able to overcome and persevere  over those obstacles. He really came off with a real sense of pride about who he is today and advocates for his community. Brandon definitely feels that the representations of LGBTQI & BIPOC communities today have improved but still have a long way to                                                        

[breelandwalker]

Hey Bree! Haven't been keeping up with you so I hope you're doing well ^^ My coworker at work (who is wiccan) has been criticizing me recently on being a witch. Stuff like you can't call yourself a witch because you're a boy, you have to be a warlock, why do you use the wiccan calendar and holidays if you're not wiccan (in response to my mentioning Mabon coming up), I can't be a pagan witch and not wiccan, and I *have* to chose a pantheon, etc etc. And while I'm not really mad, it's kinda got me thinking that I actually don't know much about the wiccan religion itself! (I kinda have an aversion because an ex tried to force me into it and I didn't like the seemingly strict "harm none." I think I was too hex positive tbh) anyways! Sorry for the mini rant! Can I have a history/religion lesson please?

-sound of Bree gnawing through a table leg before answering-

Witchling, I want you to listen to me and I want you to internalize what I'm about to tell you, okay?

Witchcraft is for everyone. And witch is a gender-neutral term.

The whole "male witches must be warlocks" thing is a misnomer. And unfortunately, a lot of older witches still believe it and parts of modern pop culture still perpetuate it. And there are certain sects, such as Dianic Wiccans, that believe people who identify as anything other than AFAB can't be witches at all.

I don't usually like to wholesale naysay other people's beliefs, but these people are full of shit and so is your coworker. There is more than one way to be a witch and nobody gets to tell you you're not "doing it right" simply because your way is not the same as their way.

If you identify as male and you want to call yourself a witch, you go right the fuck ahead. If you want to be a pagan witch and not choose a particular path or pantheon, you go right the fuck ahead. If you want to keep your witchcraft and your religious practices separate, you go right the fuck ahead. All of these things are entirely up to you.

And while the Wheel of the Year cycle IS a Wiccan creation, most of the holidays it includes were borrowed from other traditions and the concept of celebrating the harvest cycle is hardly original to any one path, let along Wicca.

If you want to celebrate those holidays, there is nothing stopping you. Granted, Ostara and Mabon as we know them were created by Aidan Kelly in the 1970s, so if you'd rather just celebrate Harvest Home or the autumn equinox or the fall harvest, you can do that too. There's a ton of overlap that's open to everyone, regardless of their spiritual preferences. (You may want to check out Ep. 12 of Hex Positive, "Secular Celebrations," for some ideas and suggestions.)

Also, if Wiccans hadn't spent literal decades trying to convince the entire witchcraft community that Wicca was the only legitimate path for modern witches and insisting that their ways and traditions were supposed to be universal, maybe there wouldn't be so much confusion. But that's just my opinion. 🙄

Since I'm not Wiccan, I don't think I can give you a proper overview of the whole story there, but I can tell you that it's been around since the 1950s and is still very much in the process of evolving with the times. I highly recommend checking out @traegorn's discussion of the history of Wicca in Ep. 3 of BS-Free Witchcraft, appropriately entitled "The History of Wicca," and talk to them about any Wicca-related questions you may have.

Stay strong, poppet. The only one who can decide whether or not you're a witch is YOU. Don't let the haters bring you down! And if anybody gives you shit for not conforming to their way of doing the thing, you tell 'em come talk to me. If I can't set 'em straight, I'll certainly chew their ear off in the process.

[luvstrology]

moon 11h

-because the 11th house is the house of friendship, people with moon in this house can be very needy and can often seek support from their friends; friendships may be very important to them and they may feel better when receiving support and love from friends

-due to the influence of the moon in this placement, people with it may experience periods of emotional instability and may struggle with their emotions at times, but are generally very good hearted, kind and have good intentions

-they may feel very connected to people who are similar to them or think similarly to them; they may also be very close/friendly with family members and get along with family members very well

-it is possible that those with this placement may frequently attract/interact with people who are moody, sad, unreliable and/or untrustworthy which may cause them to be put in some difficult or even scandalous situations

-people with this placement may require to feel needed and feel like they belong, especially within group settings and social circles; it is often essential to them to be supported by those around them 

-their social life and friendships are likely very important to them and they usually value them very much; they usually couldn’t think of anything worse than having no friends, having no social life or constantly changing friend groups or falling out with friends/ending friendships

-people with this placement are often big dreamers who also have big goals, they tend to be very hopeful and like to remain optimistic about the future as much as possible; however, because they are often very controlled by their constantly changing moods/emotions, they may struggle to settle on a specific goal and work towards their dreams without being distracted 

-friendships, being social and being part of a group(s) will likely make people with this placement feel very fulfilled and satisfied; friends are usually very important to them and they will definitely make this known to the people closest to them

-people with this placement may be good at making new friends and meeting new people because they are always open to growing their social circles and developing friendships with people

-as the moon can provide people with intuition, with it being in the 11th house of friendships it can manifest as a person who uses their intuition when making friendships, interacting with others and meeting new people; people with this placement will likely use their intuition when deciding who to spend their time with and when

-people with this placement may also have a natural ability to reconnect with people from their past and recover/revive old friendships; some people may be baffled by this but those with this placement are usually able to do this with ease

-those with moon in the 11th house are likely to hate being lonely even more than most people; feeling/being lonely will likely make them feel extremely upset, dejected, disappointed and even depressed

-because of their fear of loneliness, need to be around others and eagerness to establish friendships, there is a possibility that people with this placement can become easily impressed by others and overly dependent on people around them; they may benefit from being more careful about who they spend time around, chose their friends wisely and try not to depend on others for approval so much

-it might be the case that people with this placement tend to have many friends of the opposite sex and get along with people of the opposite sex very well

-because those with this placement are so driven by friendships and find a sense of comfort/security within connecting with others and developing friendships with people, there is potential for them to find people who will help them succeed and achieve their goals but also potential for them to be taken advantage of because they can come across as needy at times

-they may struggle with establishing a strong/clear sense of self/identity as they will often attach themselves to their friendship groups/social circles and may identify themselves with whatever group of people make them feel most supported, comfortable and secure

-because those with this placement place so much value and importance on their friendships and social connections, there is a risk that they may strive to impress and gain approval from their friends too much which could lead them to be peer pressured easily because they will often want to gain recognition and appreciation from their peers

-people with moon in the 11th house may have a strong desire to fit in, usually because they have a need to be part of something; they may go to extreme lengths or do anything to fit in with a group and be part of a social circle

-because friendship is usually so important to them, people with this placement commonly really struggle with rejection and may be very sensitive to rejection

-people with this placement may be very controversial at times and may express a lot of opinions or behaviours that are controversial to others; this may lead them to feel very misunderstood/judged by others which can cause them to struggle with feeling like they don’t fit in and aren’t accepted by others

-because they often fear being alone and either know how it feels to struggle with loneliness or can imagine how bad it would feel to be alone, people with moon in the 11th house will often be the type of people to approach those who are left out and reach out to people who are alone/have not been accepted in certain groups/social situations 

-those with this placement may actually be drawn to or intrigued by lonely people who may seem very interesting to them 

-people with this placement are generally very kind and will often go out of their way to include others and establish friendships with anyone and everyone; this can make them very inclusive and not the type to judge others or treat others badly 

[whyyoualwayssoradical]

in your opinion is it even worth it to identify as a male if most people dont like to see you as one? i'm not on hrt or anything and ive never said im a woman but since pretty much day 1 other males have felt inclined to push me out of their "boys club", like they're glad to not have me there and seek so, even gay men do this to me so its like why should i call myself this when its just so futile and painful because i'm constantly subtly and overtly exiled from the tribe i'm supposed to join?

i don't identify as male, i am male because i was born male, it is not an identity but a biological reality. i chose to transition to treat my dysphoria which makes me trans.

i definitely had some somewhat similar experiences when i first came out to my close friend group. this group of friends wasn't a typical boys club type friend group and was much more mixed, but pretty much once i came out they all started treated me differently.

the women friends in the group immediately started giving me things to stay safe with when out and informing me how to stay safe and to always let them know anywhere i went out. this was good and welcome and even before i came out they had all gotten worried about me because i was just out and about all day one day without telling anyone lol.

the guys... kinda more subtly treated me different at first and then after some time one of them became interested in me and despite me turning him down every time he wouldn't let up and made everything weird and awkward. come to find out later his dad also found interest in me which was extra fucking weird and now i think they both have some particular interest in people like me. i didnt want to any dynamics in the friend group to change so i had already decided i wasn't going to date or get involved with anyone yet he essentially forced a dynamic change by treating me almost like a manic pixie dream girl 🤢.

i wasn't really pushed out of anything though in the same manner it seems you were, over time i realized how shitty most of those friends were and how they never really included me in anything properly even before transition. i am also autistic and they couldn't do the bare minimum of just communicating things to me, even when my best friend explicitly told them to tell me about something. i would always find out last minute or just be left out. it got worse after transition + after pandemic hit.

i have had.. interesting interactions with gay men, they usually like me socially but they definitely treat me as an "other", like not exactly a gay man but also not exactly a woman. overall they have always been really nice to me but yeah, not really allowed to join or considered one of them in the same way.

i wish i had a better answer. i wish i could have grown up and been allowed to discover myself properly and then maybe i would have just been a gay man, i don't really know.

i definitely don't really have anywhere i truly belong. i'm already "other" by being autistic, not heterosexual, and then i chose to transition adding even more. my autism is much more similar to autism in women which further others me i feel because even though i relate so much to how they experience it i'm still not a woman like them. i don't really belong with gay men, i feel like they probably don't even want someone like me because i've done everything i can to not be a man so to speak and probably think i'm just self hating or something, i don't really know though. i wasn't strong enough to be a gay man in this world after everything i've gone through, i don't know. it's like my brain is so fucked i just can't.

[shortkingvi]

No, no, tell us more about your thoughts on tyzula

alright,,,, i feel like this was a long time coming with how much i talk about my deep love for azula and her character arc so i'm gonna write a pretty lengthy analysis/discussion here about it all,,,,,,,, i'll put in it a read more so people don't have to scroll past a super long post if they aren't interested, so click below if you DO wanna read it

right SO, in order to understand the crux of why tyzula is so compelling and such a complex ship to understand, we have to understand azula as a character first

to preface, i should clarify that i'm not the kind of person who enjoys the "people are born evil" narrative because it's pessimistic, cheap, and in my opinion, not realistic. i think that characters can progress past the point of redemption, sure, but i don't think that any person is inherently meant to end up a monster

azula is a character who has never received unconditional love. the only reference to positivity in her childhood that we get is ozai's praise of her as the better firebender. this, however, is conditional love to the fullest; growing up knowing your value to your parent is intrinsically tied into what you can accomplish makes you highly defensive of losing your ability and disappointing, because then, what do you have? maybe this is the gifted kid in me speaking, but being identified as "special" at a young age is SO damaging in so many ways

azula only knows love in the form of praise for her abilities, not for her as a person. her mother certainly had no unconditional love for her in the way she did zuko, in azula's mind at least. azula herself says that her mother thought she was a monster; now, we can argue until the hippo cows come home whether or not ursa ACTUALLY thought this but it doesn't change the fact that this is how azula PERCEIVED it. she watched zuko receive love from their mother and their uncle while all she ever received was praise for what she could do, not who she was. she also received praise from her father and admonishment from her mother, so it's natural she would be inclined to follow her father's - horrible - advice rather than her mother's

anyways, now that we've established azula's lack of understanding of unconditional love, let's talk about ty lee. ty lee is the first one to give azula a taste of what love is. now, again, much of this is borne out of manipulation on azula's part BUT this is mainly because azula only knows how to receive approval through actions and not character. for ozai, she molds herself into what he'll approve of; for ty lee, she molds HER into something that won't be swayed by azula's flaws

nonetheless, we see some real azula peek through when she's with ty lee. during the ember island episode, we get a pretty sincere apology from azula to ty lee that feels VERY out of character for someone who never apologizes for anything. we see azula's dependence upon ty lee as, on the surface, something related to ty lee's abilities. however, it does seem strange that azula chose a non-bending circus girl as one of the members of her elite, inside squad (no i'm not arguing ty lee isn't strong or powerful, i think she's actually one of the most powerful characters in the show re: chi blocking, but azula probably wouldn't think this immediately)

INSTEAD, azula chooses ty lee because she TRUSTS her. trust is how love manifests when you aren't taught how to love in the first place. ozai, the only person azula thinks cares about her, puts his trust in azula to carry out his orders so she, in turn, does the same as an expression of care and love. because that's what she thinks love is! love to her is "i trust you to do this for me when i can't" and not "i trust you to do this for me because you WANT to"

because azula doesn't GET to want. she only gets to DO

so, now, let's get into the betrayal, turning, rebellion, whatever you want to call it, at boiling rock

IF azula only ever expresses real compassion for ty lee, and we've established that trust seems to be the way azula expresses this compassion most of the time, a betrayal would be the worst possible thing for her to face. she's already dealing with mai turning on her and choosing zuko, although i'd argue this was always in the back of her mind considering mai and zuko's relationship. what she ISN'T expecting, however, is ty lee. ty lee, who she trusted explicitly, turning on her and choosing the other side. because in azula's mind, she's not sure what she's done wrong! she's carried out orders perfectly, she's the strongest, she's the logical option at this point in terms of who will win the war

and still, ty lee turns on her

so now we have an azula who's lost the one person she cared about most (if we're going on the context clues of the show), and it breaks her. breakdown azula sends away all her advisors and protectors out of fear that they'll betray her because she's already been betrayed by the one person closest to her, so what's stopping all of them from doing the same?

her hallucination is important in understanding tyzula too; her mother talks about her use of fear to control people and azula replies with "trust is for fools, fear is the only reliable option." funny how hallucination ursa never mentions trust here and yet azula talks about it, huh? because trust is equal to love in her mind and she just lost any semblance of love she had left in her life the moment ty lee left her. i could write a whole other thing about the symbolic hair cutting here, but i'll save that for another time probably because this is already getting long and it'll turn into a whole discussion about hair in the avatar universe

ANYWAYS, this is all essentially why i love tyzula so much. we have a girl who doesn't understand and has never felt real, unconditional love losing a person who DID love her deeply but couldn't trust that her actions were good

we have azula, who was raised in a restrictive environment where her abilities were the only things keeping her from being physically abused (because she was regularly being emotionally abused if we're being honest), trying to grapple with understanding what GOOD even looks like

it's worth it to mention that azula was raised in a highly homophobic environment as well; it's not coincidental that bryke specifically confirm it is the fire nation who criminalized homosexuality. azula's internal homophobia, compounded with her inability to understand love, makes tyzula this tragic mish mash of almost, maybe, but also never

in any other world, tyzula happens a million times over; ty lee and azula are childhood friends who grow up, lose contact, come back together, and break free of their oppressive environment that neither of them are truly suited for (azula mentally and ty lee emotionally)

in the world we're given, however, this is everything they CAN'T be. and that's what makes them so fantastic

i love azula, i think about azula a lot, i RELATE to azula, my heart breaks for what she could have been if she weren't a product of her environment. but, more than anything, i'm just so heartbroken by azula getting SO close to understanding what love is but coming just short because the one way she expresses love, through trust, is the one thing she feels ty lee breaks

and isn't that the tragedy of it all?