#people can’t afford housing
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i know 7s probably pays their translators like shit since we’re not exactly, like, a vaunted profession, but god sometimes i long for the prestige (that exists only in my head) of having a real translation job with monetary benefits. instead of my realistic path which will be graduate -> find some job that i can handle working consistently -> do translation as a hobby if i have the time
#do not reblog#not to mention they probably crunch translators when there’s not an extant fantrans available#like i know 7s is one of the more (most?) reputable cnovel publishing houses#but after seeing the way other publishing houses for cnovels treat translators……..#(and also like. the bleak reality of ai. companies are going to prefer 80% accuracy for 2% cost over#full accuracy and research but 100% cost for paying translators)#i can’t help but be jaded#i talked to a prof at the ucla recently and he basically confirmed what i suspected#in terms of like. translation isn’t a viable career. there’s only two people he knows who do it as a career#and they churn out a dozen or more books a year. i can’t maintain that pace#and i’m not foolish enough to think i’ll get lucky and strike proverbial gold with some media that gets wildly popular in#the usa because of my translations#hell the people/person who did san ti into english probably didn’t make enough for a year’s costs.#and san ti is like. The biggest cnovel series. if you can’t get a sustainable wage off of The Most Famous CNovel Series In The USA#what hope is there for the rest of us?#and that’s assuming you get certified. which i’ll be fucking honest unless i want to sell my soul#i can’t afford in the usa ever and i can’t afford back home without a decade of working minimum#and it’s not like i’m smart enough to get a grad position that would let me work and study at the same time#ugh. this got rambly and morose. whatever#c.txt
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I’ve just realised I get more mad about celebrities owning mansions they don’t live in full time than private jets. and that’s very urban designer of me
#is it bad I think the private jet conversation is overdone. or at least not going productively#like it doesn’t solve the root of the problem which is shitty public transport and people who can’t be normal about celebrities being on it#whereas with mansions it perpetuates the idea that that’s what we should strive for and encourages people to build more#rather than building public or affordable housing and sending the message that it’s okay to live in that#when I build public housing I’m gonna find a celebrity to sponsor me and live in it out of spite (on my behalf)#and the conviction that I’m capable of designing public housing so good a celebrity would live in it#urban design
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i seriously need to get a new job and start making money again asap bc i cannot keep living at home much longer it’s driving me insane
(wrote an entire essay in the tags without meaning to oops)
#i feel so isolated from everything bc i’m not in school rn but all my friends are and 90% of the ones who are in state go to the same school#so they’re all in the same town and here i am 45 minutes away#i never get invited to anything bc 1) my friends all tend to make plans really last minute#and 2) if we want to go out and drink - which we usually do bc that’s the stage of life we’re in rn - i’d have to stay the night with#someone bc i absolutely cannot afford a 45 minute uber home and most of my friends don’t like staying over / having people stay over#so i have basically no social life and it’s only gotten worse in the past couple months since i got laid off from my main job#not only did i love that job but i loved my coworkers and work was pretty much the only time i left the house and interacted with people#and without that job i can’t even do the little solo things i used to do to cheer myself up like go see a movie#or even just go for a long drive bc i’m broke (as in i have $17 in cash to my name and am like $1000 in debt rn)#so all i do is rot in bed all day and apply for jobs that i’m overqualified for yet still don’t get hired#i barely even leave my room bc i avoid my family which just makes me feel guilty bc i love my family#but they get on my nerves so easily and most of the conversations i have with my mom end in her lecturing me about something and me crying#and on top of everything it’s just straight up embarrassing to be unemployed and completely directionless about college and living at home#logically i know i’m still very young and it’s common to live at home when you’re 20 but literally none of my friends do#i had a couple friends who lived at home for the first 2 years after high school and went to community college but by now they’ve moved out#and they’re all at universities and either graduating this year or next year meanwhile the earliest i could possibly graduate is in 2 years#i should be finishing my junior year rn but i’ve only completed my freshman year#i hated the school i was at and planned on transferring sophomore year but long story short that didn’t work out#even longer story short i ended up doing a semester each at 2 different community colleges and failed all my classes both times#and took 2 semesters off so now i’m a full 2 years behind and even though my freshman year was miserable#i’m starting to wish i stayed at that school anyway bc at least i would be at a university and accomplishing something#plus theres a huge difference between staying at home for a couple years after high school then moving out later#vs living on your own right away then having to move back home after you’ve already experienced having your own space#and on top of everything i have an older sister who’s a literal genius and graduated last year#and a younger sister who just finished her freshman year at the school i hated but she loves it and got perfect grades and made friends#so they’re both thriving and here i am living with my mom and my 13 year old brother and just completely failing at everything#i’m just so miserable and obviously moving out again and going back to school wouldn’t magically fix everything#but at least i would feel like my life was going somewhere and i wasn’t getting left behind by everyone i know#i just have no idea how to move forward and i feel like ever since high school not a single thing has gone the way i wanted it to#vent
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I think the fucked up part about being poor is that like, even ‘unexpected’ money from side gigs and jobs doesn’t get to be fun money. It just gets swallowed. By debts, bills, desperately needed repairs, medical needs…. And you still have the same amount of no money afterwards. It’s like not getting money at all. It doesn’t even get to be SAVINGS.
#day-2-day#rotting a little bit sorry I need it to be Thursday so I can go home#and I think I’m allowed to be frustrated and upset if the people that docked off to Africa for a month can’t afford to pay#their house sitter (me) a reasonable and livable wage#reblogs are off because if this gets out and I have to listen to clowns honk their noses and slap their big shoes around I might cry#anyways my partners birthday was yesterday ☠️ celebrated it a little and had a cake from Aldi’s u_u#while having to continue to act like Christian summer camp. bc. surveillance.#venting and loathing
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I’m realizing that talking with one of my new coworkers the other day was maybe one of the most in depth conversations about my gender and all that shit that I’ve ever had. He’s transmasc and genderfluid and on t, and is talking to me about his experience transitioning and how that interacts with his genderfluidity, asking if I would ever want to medically transition, talking about being out to family or in other specific settings and how being very dysphoric or not being as dysphoric can play into how and when you come out and like. it’s so interesting! bc I have many trans friends, they’re all very cool and we’ve all talked about being trans before, but to have someone who’s gender identity is very similar to my own but who is at a very different point in their transition and is actually taking me into conversations about stuff I’ve just never really talked about before as a fem-presenting person who just like. hasn’t really had physics transition as an option to me because I’m still closeted to my family and who hasn’t had to rush out of the closet because I can survive looking the way I do and being perceived as a woman. This shit just doesn’t really come up for me so to be able to talk to someone about it like that was really neat. he’s really cool I wish he want moving back home at the end of the summer
#At one point we were also talking about binding and I mentioned my desire to bind but that it’s hard for me to get a binder#bc I can’t really order one to my house and while my uni does have a free binder program I feel bad using it bc i have the means to buy one#and I know that part of its function is to help people who may be able to afford but otherwise can’t acquire a binder#but idk. I feel bad.#and he was like ‘hey if you ever wanna get one then you can order it to my house’#like I’ve known this guy for all of two days. that’s so nice of him#and then we talked about the magnus archives. that’s not related it’s just. the next thing we talked about bc he is a very big tma fan#I tried to convince him to listen to protocol. I think I succeeded
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tbh i think it’s so funny that if Kusuo were real, he’d be a year older than me
#kusuo is canonically in his late 20’s!!!#age wise we had a similar experience I guess. Same geopolitical events were happening at that time#But totally different perspective obvs#idk. it honestly probably doesn’t make much difference#especially considering the cultural difference#but I like that Kusuo also didn’t get any modern touch technology of his own until his late teens#like yaaay me too!#I too staunchly and stubbornly refused to get an iphone. not that I had the money to get it myself anyways. Also like Kusuo!#who gets an allowance as a teen (which i didn’t get) but to be fair#that’s probably thanks to Kuusuke#indirectly anyways. considering they can’t afford the house they live in and only have it because of him#what am I rambling about#anyways#yeah I relate to Kusuo a lot#He is out there a depressed twenty something looking for meaning in his life I just know it#and of course. The meaning is connecting with other people#rargh screaming crying erc#*etc
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1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!
2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr
3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!
overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!
#aritalks#i did cry a little bit when i first woke up because i dont really know what to do about work and also i hate not having a car i can use#not only because of the work aspect but also getting my license when i was 18 gave me a freedom i didn’t have before#and i don’t like having to rely on other people just to like go to the fucking store or something yk#but then my best friend/roommate messaged me happy birthday and i was like fuck it! today is going to be a good day!#the stressful uncertainties can wait until tomorrow#also one of my best friends who hasn’t said happy birthday to me the past two years#(not intentionally im p sure they were just busy on my birthdays the past two years#and then had that moment of ‘oh shit i didnt send a message fuck i think its too late now’ which i totally get bc anxiety things yk)#was one of the first people to message me happy birthday!!#i’m also hoping to still be able to go see my mom and then stay the night at my dads tonight#so i can see both my parents and also my baby siblings for my birthday#my dads working today but after he texted happy birthday i sent him a text asking if he thinks we could still make it work#my mom is asleep still i think (she called me at midnight and left a voicemail singing happy birthday!! but her sleep schedule has been all#over the place recently so i’m waiting until 11:30 to call her which is in like 30 mins)#but she said something yesterday about driving out to me to give me a hug and also bring me my diabetes stuff that got delivered#(her house is my mailing address because i know it’s not going to change bc it’s my great grandparents house that she’s partially inhereting#when my great grandpa dies but since i have moved out of my dads my address has changed twice and i didnt have a mailbox at my last place so#just for the sake of consistency and not having to worry about important shit getting sent to the wrong address i’ve had her house as my#mailing address since i moved out of my dads at 19)#so i think i’m gonna ask her if she can just pick me up instead so i can go to her house w her and hang out with her#and hopefully my dad will be able to at least stop by with my siblings so i can see them too#i’d like to stay the night with them but if we can’t make it happen then i can also stay the night w my mom and hopefully tomorrow figure#out the car situation. might have to rent a car for a week if i can afford it? best case scenario is my moms car can be fixed but i still#dont know whats wrong with it ik there are two potential problems and one is fixable the other is not#the fixable one would cost like $150-$400 to fix depending on if we get a used part or a new one#if its $150-$200 ish i can probably afford to pay for the whole thing or at least most of it#but if its more than that hopefully my dad or one of my family members can help#and i can just pay them back in like $50 increments with my next few paychecks#just realized i said i wouldnt worry abt the car thing today and also i think im at tag limit to i’ll stop now lmao xoxo gossip girl ❤️
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I’m just so tired
#I saw this video earlier today and it’s all I can think about now#been trying to find a full time job so hopefully I can move and start living my life#but what’s the point?#I know I won’t be able to afford anything#unless I work 3+ jobs and devote all my time to working#I’m just so fucking tired#it’s beyond just my body and mind being tired#my soul is exhausted#I just feel hopeless cause so many of us are struggling#and then the fucking 1% is living it up with so much money that they don’t know what to fucking do with it all#I saw something that said we are going to have our first TRILLIONAIRE soon#that is a million million…………#how can someone sleep at night knowing they are hoarding so much money and so many people are struggling#so many people can’t afford rent or food or the BASIC necessities#when the 1% are buying multiple houses and yachts and flying to the moon#I’m just so tired#and the sad part is it’s never going to change#those people are always going to hoard the money#our government isn’t going to do jack shit to help#I’m gonna go smoke some weed and hopefully ignore life for a bit#tiktok#shut up rosie
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my parents keep telling me my living situation is just a temporary thing I have to suffer through as if housing and rent isn’t getting exponentially worse and the vast majority of places have a strict no pet policy like sorry I’m completely unoptimistic about my future at this point and don’t have any reasonable hopes of leaving my cramped tiny 2bed1bath that comfortably fits 2 adults max and we’ve got 4 adults + 1 baby + 2 cats crammed down here and I have no idea how I’m supposed to escape that when even my parents who are actually for the first time in their lives making decent money now can’t even afford a house and can barely afford rent upstairs. and people are shocked that my entire generation is suicidal and addicted to substances lol. and then have the audacity to say “just go to therapy:)”
#I know it sucks for people my age who are stuck living in their childhood bedrooms#but I also can’t help but envy people who even HAVE childhood bedrooms#we fucking lost the home I lived in because we couldn’t afford it anymore#my mom’s anxious that the landlord will sell the house we rent in one day and we won’t have anywhere to live#and we live in a tourist city so all the housing gets bought out to use as vacation homes for rich people#and then charge $1500+ for shitty apartments in crime filled neighborhoods
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#Jesus fucking Christ#we went to view a place today#not super awesome area but like not horrible#pics looked okay#almost 2000sq ft#wanted $1700 a month recently dropped the price $100#place was disgusting#absolutely horrendous condition#gorgeous house with awesome layout & space that has not been maintained what so fucking ever#and the audacity to ask for $1700 a month for a literally dirty ass unkept home#I’m not even mad for us I’m mad for people with less money who live in these neighborhoods who can’t afford housing & the state of society#that anyone could possibly think renting out a place in that condition would be acceptable#like???#no one who can afford that will be willing to rent out a place in such shit condition#you’re fucking crazy#waste of goddamn time
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lol my job must be dropping people like flies they just gave everyone making under $20 a raise
mine was only 30 cents though
I mean I used to work in the department making IDs for every new hire/deactivating IDs for everyone who left and it was a lot and that was a year and a half ago. I’m sure it’s worse now that things have only gotten more and more unaffordable
This place actually pays more than pretty much anything else here so idk where these employees are going tbh. Take me with you. Please. Maybe they just move out?
#$18.70 an hour now#i wish this place didn’t suck so much#cause when I leave I’m going to be making like $15#because the whole state sucks#yay.#maybe I’ll finally escape the swamp this decade#saving up every cent rn 🙃#genuinely don’t know what the end goal of this city as a whole is#if no normal workers can ever afford a house and more than half their income goes to rent (with roommates)#how do the rich keep expecting to have an unlimited supply of servants if your servants can’t afford a bed to sleep in#and the people whose homes/apartments got torn down to build more? where did they go?#at this rate there is no end goal they’re just building till the flooding starts to scare people away I guess idk
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*incoherent screams of frustration and tears of exhaustion*
#I bloody hate Christmas#imposter syndrome was so bad at the christmas dinner too I wanted to curl up and die#everyone is very sweet so I can’t complain#but re-enactment is very much a rich persons hobby or at least independently wealthy#I may drop out of doing actual events which. sucks lol#but I can’t afford it#I haven’t been able to afford food for two weeks let alone a bloody uniform#I can still help out. managing the website and etc#but all the things I want to do and love to do I can’t afford#no wonder most reenactors are older well off folk or younger people who’ve been brought up in it#not to mention coming home and finding empty beer bottles littered everywhere#my mums coming tomorrow and shes ain’t given a time for arrival#I gotta work out sleeping arrangements get food clean the house do dishes etc#I just want to sleep?#I really really bloody hate Christmas for many many reasons#but stress of planning and getting shit in order is top of the list#christ#I want December to be Over#just depressed bc now I may not even get to meet up with this group when they’ve been so lovely bc… well fuck man.#just so much on my plate rn. I haven’t been able to relax. oh well. no choice but to do what needs doing#I just wish it wasn’t so much that needed doing#no wonder I’ve been having heart troubles
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I did a public speaking thing today about rent control and I didn’t cry! Someone said they liked my speech because I mentioned how raises weren’t at inflation if you even get one so I felt better!
#talking#actually literal talking lmao#I’m proud of myself#also fuck that one land lord who charges his INLAWS#he literally said if rent was capped at inflation he would have had to kick is fucking in-laws out?!?#and fuck that other guy who said he owned *just* 2 3 stacks and couldn’t afford to do the home improvements himself because he’s old#bro that is 6 units you make enough fucking money#if you’re too old sell the apartments fucking god damn#fuck landlords#all my homies HATE landlords#anyways it’s important to go to your local council and talk because then they know what the people want#and you can’t let the scumlords win#vomiting over the one guy who said I’m one of the good ones#no sir you took a human right away from people and sell it back at a higher price#he fought a woman who said the boiler should not be on the renter that’s why they rent#and he said that was not true#shout out to her though she tore than man a new asshole#she said if housing is an investment then you should be able to fail like any other free market#she really said fuck you in the most insanely polite way I love her#anyways I didn’t cry#I’m proud of me#if you made it this far I’m giving you a smooch on the forehead
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I’m never going to be able to move out of my parents’ house lmfao
#lynx tales#I literally applied for ‘low income housing’#and they told me that I don’t make enough money to afford an apartment#a 1 bedroom tiny ass motterfucker#is $1300 a month#I’m doomed#nothing is gonna change#and nothing will get better#I will be living here until I die or my parents do#the first is more likely honestly#I just want my own space!#I want to control things in my space!#I’ve been living in the same 8 rooms my whole goddamn life!#I hate my bedroom and I’ve tried so many ways to fix it#and nothing works#I’m so stressed out by everything all the time#I can’t invite people over#I can’t eat or shower whenever I want#I can’t exist in this house and not feel like I’m taking up too much space#how do I live#how do I survive#how can this possibly be okay
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Young Haya WIP ft. backstory rambles in the tags
#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#original character#seeds of the red lotus#sotrl haya#she’s actually really fun to draw#both young and at her age in sotrl/utos#which is very ironic considering who she is as a person#well. who she will become as a person#she hasn’t yet. not at this point#knowing what she did makes it very hard to feel anything but hatred for her#but once upon a time she was a fourteen year old girl left with nothing but an empty house and a little brother on her hands#with no idea where to go from here#she dropped out of school so she could look after and provide for her brother#not like she could afford it on her own anyway#people who knew their parents talk a lot but say nothing at all. they offer condolences but no help#she works until her previously tender hands are now numb and rough with callouses#picking up any odd job she can get just to scrape together enough money to pay for the house and for food#her brother is barely five. she wants to let him mess around and play and have fun but can’t keep an eye on him if she does#he doesn’t see her as authority. she’s his big sister who’d ruffle his hair and buy him snacks on the way home from school#she’s not his mother but she tries desperately to fill that role. he doesn’t listen. she gets harsher#she hates herself for it but doesn’t know of another way. she just wants to keep him safe#the townspeople talk. they say the disease came from the swamp. their house is on the very edge. she’s wary of the far end of the backyard#her brother isn’t. the big trees lining the border of the swamp make for a superb playground. she knows. it was once her playground too#‘don’t go there’ she says. he doesn’t listen. he keeps going. one day he brings back the most sickly looking girl she’d ever seen#she has no compassion in her heart for the girl. only worry and graphic images in her mind of her brother wasting away from the disease#she can tell him to stop talking to the girl all she wants. it’s been four years and he’s grown immune to her attempts at parenting#that’s when she starts to yell. how else is she supposed to make him hear her? if he doesn’t listen he’ll get sick too. she can’t lose him#she doesn’t have anyone else
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Ahhhh the job I thought i didn’t get bc they never got back to me after my interview (which I thought went really well) just reached out to me bc apparently the person they tried to hire backed out.,.. and now its gonna be like another month of wondering if I’m gonna have to decide if I want to move to another state where I don’t know anyone. And i was kind of relieved when i never heard back bc I’m really happy here with my family and gf and friends but the fact is my job here is a contract with very slim hopes of developing into a real job with benefits and i live with my parents bc i love them and our house and our town but i know i have to seriously consider this opportunity bc it would be a good career move and i want to live a rich and interesting life. But I don’t want to talk about it with anyone irl because my dad has covid which has been my number 1 fear since the start of the pandemic (he’s 71 and immunocompromised but he’s doing well and not needed the hospital) and I just want to be able to only worry about that I can’t even talk about the job thing which i drove myself and everyone around me crazy with already back in October. Which is why I’m just posting it vjfdhk I’m being tormented by forces beyond my control i feel like this is the sort of thing it would be really helpful to believe in God about
#like people who say He has a plan which i guess is comforting but his plans are so inscrutable they may as well be random. but some people#think he wants the best for us??? which seems so unlikely to me I can’t even try to believe it#anyways i think my dad willbe fine but I’m worried about long term health issues which would make it really really hard to move away bc my#mom is already basically disabled. and i want the house I want it so bad but I can’t afford to buy it from them bc our neighborhood has#gotten sooo much more expensive then it was when they moved here in the 80s and i know they’re planning on selling it to fund their#retirement. but i love it here so much I want to live here forever and die here but its not realistic and maybe it would be easier if i#moved away and put down roots somewhere else and then it will be less painful when they sell the house and less painful when they die#i just want things ro stay likethis forever I’ve#spent so much time these past few years walking around this neighborhood its like the veins in my arms i can live other places i have for#years but they never get this deep im so scared for the futuy#future but there’s absolutely nothing i can do to stop it. except kill myself i guess but it’s#not nearly at that point yet ckgdf it would make a lot of people very upset. it is sort of comforting to remember though i have that option.#god i hope they don’t offer me the job I’m a wreck just thinking about it#i really haven’t made any special efforts to reach out to them or anything. obv I wasn’t their first choice i have no idea if I’m their#second. i think they really liked me but I’m guessing im younger and less experienced than other candidates#hi if ur reading this btw its me a stranger on the internet and you know something my closest friends and family don’t know. congrats#I’ll talk to someone in a few days when my dad is feeling better. really hope my mom doesn’t get sick too she’s been coughing a bit but#testing negative. idc if i get covid i actually hope i get it bc that will prove I didn’t give it to my dad asymptotically#that’s not a secret i toldmy mom she was like jesus Christ don’t think like that
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