#and then the fucking 1% is living it up with so much money that they don’t know what to fucking do with it all
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Inked
Synopsis: Somehow you won a free session from the most famous tattoo artist in Linkon. You never expected to be sucked into his world, but you’re slowly becoming even more obsessed with him. And with who you are when you’re with him. When you finally discover what he’s involved in, will he push you away or show you a whole new world?
AN: This fanfic was inspired & entirely fueled by the artwork above, done by the amazing @obligatedart - thank you for letting me use your work as the cover art! Go check them out and see the other tattooed Rafayel pieces they’ve done. I’ve written over 80 pages in a week so... comment if you want to be tagged for part 2!
Content Warnings: explicit language & sexual content, alcohol consumption, public sex, threesome, oral (m&f receiving), creampie, PiV, birth control mentioned (yay protection), mentions of needles (tattoo needles, not medical), genital piercings, vehicle accidents, injuries, blood, 18+ MDNI
Word Count: 16k
“I still can’t believe you won the fucking contest!”
Tara punches you in the arm and you grunt, swatting at her with a pout. She leans away from you to protect the coffee in her hand before giggling and gently rubbing the spot she hit.
“Sorry, sorry, I just… I spent so much money buying like 50 raffle tickets and you bought ONE and beat all the odds. Did you cast a spell? Are you a witch?!”
Tara’s animated voice draws the attention of the other cafe patrons. You sip your latte silently and try to avoid their judgemental gazes. Tara sets her cup down and crosses her arms. She leans back, squinting at you.
“So it’s tomorrow, right?”
You nod and lean on the table in front of you to pick at your blueberry muffin. Tara snatches the muffin away and you look up at her with wide eyes. She’s definitely irritated with your silence. But what can you possibly say? Sorry? Sorry for winning a once in a lifetime raffle to get a free tattoo by the best tattoo artist in Linkon? Who has a 5 year waitlist? Who has tattooed the biggest celebrities? Who was a judge on the #1 reality show for 3 years running trying to find the next big artist? Who is absolutely, positively, undoubtedly the hottest man you’ve ever seen in your life? Fuck no, you are not sorry at all.
“I know you wanted to win so I don’t want to talk about it and make you upset.”
Tara rolls her eyes and plops your muffin back on its plate. You sit back and sigh, looking Tara up and down. She didn’t seem like the type to have a lot of tattoos, but she hid them well. When she wasn’t in her uniform she was showcasing the artwork on her body. The designs were gorgeous and you wished you had been more patient when getting yours. You basically ran to the tattoo shop on your 18th birthday to get a super basic bitch tattoo just because you could.
“I want to hear about it! I am going to live vicariously through you. Spill bitch.”
You chuckle and finish off your latte before pulling out your phone to show Tara the email chain you started with the artist. She grabs your phone instantly and scrolls through the messages.
“Oh my god, even his emails sound hot.”
You roll your eyes and watch Tara’s eyes light up when she sees the design.
“Holy shit. You are BRAVE! AN underboob tat?! You’re gonna show him your tits the first time you meet him?! Biiiiiitch!”
She squeals before zooming in on the design and ogling at the details.
“This is so pretty! The seashells and the little pearls and chains? Amazing. It will match your chest piece really well too!”
She was right, the seashells and pearls would tie into your mermaid chest piece perfectly. It was the first tattoo you put a lot of effort into, getting the design nailed down and taking your time finding a good artist. You wanted this next piece to compliment it and expand on the original concept. The shells would be a dusty pink to match the tails with the beading and pearls adding a little sparkle. You smiled, your pre-tattoo butterflies swirling.
“OH! You sent him a picture of your chest piece.”
She slapped your shoulder excitedly.
“In a bikini top! Are you KIDDING ME? Imagine him opening that picture and just getting to stare at your gorgeous tits and that tat? I’m horny just thinking about it.”
You grab her wrist to stop her flailing, your cheeks are burning since her voice is just a little too loud. She glares at you, her sly smile absolutely beaming.
“Jesus Tara, shh! It’s not a big deal, I’ve wanted this piece expanded for a long time and Rafayel’s specialty is literally anything ocean related. He’s going to touch up the girls too.”
She raises her brows and drops her eyes to your chest and you quickly realize your mistake.
“The mermaids, you horny bitch, the mermaids.”
She nods slowly.
“Uh huh… sure!”
You don’t argue with her, let her think what she wants. You were already anxious thinking about the appointment. She was right about one thing, you were basically showing him your tits the same day you officially met. It’s like “Hi, nice to meet you, here’s my tits” - nice.
When you get home that night you spend extra time prepping your skin and finding the right outfit. Sure you’d be taking off your top and just wearing pasties, but making sure you felt your best beyond that was important too. You drink your sleepy time tea, since the pre-tattoo butterflies had turned to pre-tattoo anxiety.
You slip on your nightgown and settle back, trying to force yourself to relax. About 30 minutes later, you’re on your phone. You just couldn’t help it, you scroll through your feed liking Tara’s selfie with her boyfriend, Jeremiah. A photo of Caleb at a bar, he must have gotten some R&R today. And what’s this? Zayne posted a meme? Doctor Zayne? Oh, Greyson won a bet - that makes more sense.
As you scroll, you start finding posts reposted by Lemuria Studios, recent clients, sketches done by artists and then a video that makes your chest tighten. Rafayel sits hunched over the arm of some buff dude in a tank top, the tattoo gun in his hand moves steadily against his skin. God, he looks hot. He’s just sitting there, doing his job, why are you freaking out? You want to put the phone down, watching him work is only going to make you more anxious for tomorrow. But you can’t seem to let it go. You’re mesmerised by the outline of the muscles of his forearm, barely visible under his own colorful tattoos, they twitch as he colors in the lines he just made. His dusty purple fringe brushes his cheeks, his earrings sway as he bobs his head to whatever music is playing. He stops and wipes the guy's arm with a towel before leaning back and looking at the camera. He smiles and… fuck… You drop your phone and stifle a moan. You’re not going to survive tomorrow.
The next morning, you wake up early to get ready. You cook a huge breakfast, as difficult as this session was going to be, you didn’t want to make it worse by passing out. You down a huge glass of water while you do your makeup. You sweep your hair over your shoulders in two long braids and slip on a beanie. Your joggers sit comfortably on your hips and you change out your fitted halter for a dark cut off t-shirt. You were committing to the comfortable vibe, especially if you were going to be mostly uncomfortable very soon.
Your phone rings and you race to the kitchen to see Tara’s picture flash on the screen. You answer and put it on speaker as you lace up your boots.
“What’s up?”
“I’m just checking in before your session. Are you nervous?”
You chuckle under your breath. She has no idea.
“Oh yeah, I always get pre-tattoo jitters. They’ll go away when I get there.”
“I doubt it! Girl, his face is going to be inches away from your tits. I’d bring a change of panties if I were you.”
“Tara, what do you think people at work would say if they heard you talk like this?”
“Oh, they’d lose their minds! Sweet, innocent Tara would never warn you about imagining him dropping his tattoo gun and climbing on top of you, ripping your pasties off and –”
“TARA!”
She giggles for a minute straight, barely able to catch her breath. You swing your backpack over your shoulder and jog down to the garage.
“Sorry! Honestly, I think you’ll have a great time. You’re gonna look hot with the new tat and I can’t wait to see it. Send me pics!”
“Of course. I’ll text you during breaks.”
After you hang up, you secure your helmet and hop on your bike. You take back roads instead of the highway since you know you’re too nervous and driving fast would be a bad idea. By the time you get to Regent Square, you can feel your heartbeat pounding against your ribcage. You find a long term parking garage and pay the outrageous fee. When you check your phone, you realize you only have 10 minutes before your appointment. You were supposed to be there at least 15 minutes early to fill out the paperwork. You jog down the street, only slowing long enough to catch your breath before heading inside the studio.
Lemuria Studios is gorgeous, the pictures posted online don’t do it justice. The floor to ceiling windows bathe the room in sunshine, the weathered brick walls covered in bright graffiti, neon signs with what you assume to be words - although you are not sure what language it is and the hardwood floors are covered with vibrant rugs with intricate patterns. A large sectional couch corners off the waiting room where a few patrons wait for their artists. There are various tattoo stations, each decorated to suit a different artist. Towards the back of the studio there is a door with an ‘R’ in what looks like ceramic tiles. Must be Rafayel’s private room.
You approach the front desk and greet the receptionist with a smile. She passes you a clipboard with release forms and leaves to walk to the door at the back. You watch her knock and crack the door open, she says something before turning back to look at you. You quickly refocus and fill in the paperwork. You place the clipboard on the counter and take a seat on the couch, fiddling with the tassels of the pillow next to you.
You’re about to stand and start pacing, your nerves getting the best of you, when you hear a door squeak open. You lift your eyes to see the man himself, emerge from the room and stroll towards the front of the studio. You clench your fists, yep, he’s even hotter in person.
He’s dressed casually, his button up is definitely not buttoned up. His neck tattoo swirls down his neck to the center of his chest, two koi fish swim in a circle around his Adam's apple, the fins extend towards his jaw and down his neck with pink lotus flowers complimenting the red scales of the fish. Cut off sleeves let you see his signature tattoos, full sleeves on both arms. Not an inch of skin untouched, the full color underwater scenes are vibrant, bright orange and purple coral, dark blue waves highlighted with teals and white, schools of yellow and blue fish swim in circles around his forearm and a dolphin soars over the waves. His fitted jeans hide the leg tattoos you’ve seen in photos, the ocean waves that look more like flames than water that spiral from his ankle to his hip. He also supposedly has more tattoos on his torso, but you avoided looking up any photos of him shirtless because, well… that would be dangerous.
His shaggy hair casts a shadow over his eyes, but his smile is on full display. He turns to you and you hold your breath to avoid giggling like an idiot. His blue eyes are so bright, the wash of pink in them shines in the morning light that streams through the windows. As he approaches, you awkwardly stand and put on a shy smile.
“Hi! I’m Rafayel, nice to officially meet you.”
He extends a hand and you nearly fall back onto the couch, finally taking a breath. You take his hand and revel in the softness of his skin. He suddenly yanks you forwards and starts pulling you toward the door at the back of the studio. You stumble along after him.
“I can’t wait to show you the final sketch, it’s everything you described but I added a little something that I think you’ll like.”
You giggle as he pulls you into the room. The bright purple walls are covered in either framed sketches, polaroids of tattoos, or random tattoo designs scribbled on a napkin or envelope. A vintage jukebox, with a modern AUX attachment, sits in the corner. A stack of canvases leans against the wall and a bucket of various spray paints sits on the floor. His drawing table has countless sketches pinned to it, including yours. The design is exactly what you imagined, but there’s an additional element. The centerpiece that directly connects to the chest piece is now slightly larger, having a net pattern woven behind it with a few fish and broken shells.
“That’s amazing, holy shit! But it’s a bit more than we originally planned on, are you sure you have time?”
He immediately starts getting the transfer paper prepared. You see him shrug.
“The whole day is yours, it was booked by the radio station that set up the raffle. It’s actually pretty nice only having one client to work on, I can take my time.”
You feel your cheeks flush. He would take his time on your piece, it was flattering and nerve wrecking. You set your bag down on a chair in the corner and stuff your hands in your pockets.
“Oh, awesome, I didn’t realize…”
“You’re nervous aren’t you?”
You huff out a laugh and put your hands on your hips.
“Not at all, I have plenty of tattoos. I know the drill. I’m totally fine, just excited.”
He turns, the transfer paper in hand, and walks over to his station. Everything was meticulously set up from the tiny cups of ink to the paper towels to his tattoo gun. He sets the transfer paper down before heading to the sink in the corner and washing his hands.
“Do you need tape?”
You watch him scrub his hands, it was almost like he was a doctor preparing for surgery. You tilt your head and hum to yourself, trying to figure out his meaning. He dries his hands and looks at you, his lips set in an amused smirk.
“For your nipples.”
You immediately drop your gaze and try to laugh to distract from the blush rising to your neck and cheeks. You clear your throat and meet his gaze.
“No, I wore pasties. Like I said, I know the drill.”
He smiles and motions towards the table. He puts on gloves and gives his bottle of transfer cream a shake. He eyes you expectantly.
“Whenever you’re ready.”
You turn away from him and face the padded table in front of you. You tug your shirt off over your head and toss it over your bag on a nearby chair. You hesitate to turn around. You’re not sure why you’re so nervous - sure you are literally half-naked in front of a guy you could only dream of, but he’s done this countless times! Your tits are not the first ones he’s tattooed under. You turn to face him and watch his eyes drop to your chest, he glances at the transfer paper and back to you, mentally lining up the art on your body.
“Yea, this will look amazing on you.”
His voice is rougher than before, you clasp your hands behind your back and rock on your heels.
“Thank you… uhm… do you want me to lie down or?”
He walks up and squeezes some transfer cream onto his gloved hand.
“Just stand right here. This might be cold.”
You brace and when his fingers touch the skin just under your breast, you gasp. Not from the cold, but rather from the jolt of electricity that sparked through your system.
“You were right, s’cold.”
He chuckles and continues to rub the cream along your upper rib cage, under your breasts and down the center of your chest. He grabs the transfer paper and lines it up.
“Can you hold 'em up for a second?”
You blink.
“Your… breasts. I want to make sure this will line up properly.”
You silently curse at yourself for how stupid you feel. You really should have chosen maybe a leg piece or maybe a cute little forearm number, but no you had to do this. You cup your breasts and lift them, staring at the ceiling to avoid eye contact. He lines up the transfer and presses it to your skin, slowly peeling it away.
“Fuck yes. That looks perfect. Take a look in the mirror and let me know what you think.”
He turns away and changes his gloves while you check his placement. Just the transfer looks insane, your previous embarrassment melts into excitement. You turn back to him with a huge smile.
“I love it! It’s gonna look so good!”
Rafayel smiles and you skip over to the table. You miss the flush that spreads across his cheeks as he watches your tits bounce on your way over. You hear him clear his throat as he leans to drag his chair over with his foot. You lay back on the table, your head sinking into the pillow and your hands resting on your stomach.
Rafayel sits and slides closer to you on his chair. He picks up his tattoo gun and dips the needles into the ink. He looks up at you, shaking his head to get his fringe out of his eyes.
“Ready?”
You relax your shoulders and sigh, looking up at the ceiling.
“Hell yeah.”
The outside of Rafayel’s palm rests against the side of your breast, holding the skin taut as he begins tattooing along the edge of your rib cage. The pain is about as bad as you expected. The vibration of the tattoo gun against your ribs makes your teeth chatter. You close your eyes and try to distract yourself while adjusting to the sting of the needles.
“So, why mermaids?”
Rafayel’s voice breaks up the monotonous buzz of the tattoo machine. You tilt your chin down and look at his god-like profile. With his attention on your tattoo, you finally let yourself examine his face. The ear you can see is littered with piercings. Double conch, helix, daith, an industrial with a little fish charm attached. His eyes have a hint of black smudged along his lash line, of course he wears eyeliner… of fucking course. And it looks so damn good too.
He has a variety of facial piercings, which look amazing and now you want one… or two. A small silver septum hoop. You notice he occasionally wiggles his nose, rubbing it across his top lip, a nervous habit perhaps? His lip piercings have you in a trance, the shark bites, the vertical labret - how would they feel against your lips? You also caught sight of a tongue ring. The things this man could probably do with his tongue��
“Still with me, cutie?”
You are glad he was refreshing the ink on the needles as you have a very physical reaction to this new little nickname he’s given you. You cough and try to steady yourself, once you are still he continues his work.
“Yeah, sorry, I was just distracted.”
“Oh yeah, by what?”
He’s teasing you now. Great. But you never back down from a fight and if he wants to poke at you with his cute little comments - and not just the needles in his tattoo gun - you’ll give it right back to him.
“By you.”
He laughs, a hint of surprise on his face.
“Oh really? What distracted you exactly?”
“I was just admiring your piercings. I haven’t gotten nearly enough.”
“What piercings do you want?”
His tattoo needle continues to buzz and the pain slowly fades to a numbness.
“Definitely more on my ears. I like the tragus. And then maybe my navel, basic, I know.”
“No way, the navel is a great piercing. There are a lot of creative jewelry options too. I love mine, I’d recommend it to anyone.”
“You have your belly button pierced?”
He chuckles and shifts his hand, his pinkie dangerously close to your pasty making your heart flutter.
“Yup. Was one of my first actually. After that it was all downhill. Now I have too many to count.”
“Really? What other piercings do you recommend then?”
He hesitates and glances up at you. His eyes flick to your breasts and back. And you swear you caught him biting his lip for a moment.
“Body piercings are fun. But if you’re not ready for that but bored with your ears, facial piercings are a good place to start. Septum made me cry like a bitch, but it’s a great one.”
“Made you cry like a bitch, huh?”
Your mocking tone makes him pause and look at you, his lips set in a pout. You giggle at his pathetic, yet adorable, expression.
“It’s because it fucks with your sinuses or some shit, not because it hurt!”
“Okay, okay!”
“I’ve gotten some piercings that make grown men weep and didn’t flinch, trust me, it was not because of the pain.”
You raise your eyebrows at the implication, but you decide to hold your tongue and not entertain the thought of what those “other” piercings might be. You settle your head back and take a deep breath.
“And what about tattoos? Which one was the most painful?”
He hums to himself, his hand once again shifting and pushing your breast slightly upward as he colors in a line.
“My neck was the worst, by far. I’m glad I didn’t pick something that went directly over my Adam’s apple cause I would not have survived.”
“That piece is really nice. Did you design it?”
“I did. Then my apprentice tattooed it. Never been prouder of the kid. Now you’ve asked a few questions, I think it’s only fair you answer one of mine.”
You sigh dramatically and chuckle when he stops working. You know he is staring at you, probably pouting again, so you stare at the ceiling.
“Alright, fair is fair.”
“Why mermaids?”
“Oh uhh…” You stutter as you try to find the right words. “Because they’re tragic yet beautiful.”
Rafayel stops again and looks at you, his brows raised.
“Art and literature depicts them as beautiful creatures, but their counterparts are much darker. Sirens lure sailors to their watery graves. They’re… underestimated? Like their beauty distracts while their voice reels them in. It’s powerful.”
“Was there something that prompted the need for a constant reminder of their power etched into your skin?”
You shift your gaze to his hands, resting on your stomach, the tattoo gun hovering over your skin.
“I spent a long time under someone’s thumb, feeling powerless. He always felt like he had to protect me. I was… lost… for a while. Then I read a book about a siren, using the form of a mermaid, who charmed the men in her life into submission while planning their downfall. I didn’t want Ca– my friend to be hurt though! I decided to put on a ‘damsel in distress’ act for him but I’m still in control, ya know?”
Rafayel nodded sharply, his gaze more intense. He shifted on his stool and the familiar hum of the tattoo gun started again. With his focus back on your body, you felt your mind start to spiral. Was your explanation dumb? You know sirens are not exactly mermaids, but mermaids looked better. Did he think you were dumb and confused them? Should you have said ‘cause they’re pretty’ instead?
“Most people don’t realize sirens and mermaids aren’t the same thing. Seems like you do.”
“I do! Yeah, I just… I guess…”
“Liked how mermaids looked better than a half bird sea creature?”
His voice was light, sarcasm had found its way back to him and you sighed in relief.
“Don’t get me wrong, I saw some good siren designs but nothing clicked. This one did. Plus I think it makes my tits stand out.”
Rafayal lets out a breathy laugh and sits up straighter in his chair. He grabs a paper towel and wipes the excess ink from your skin. He moves his chair forward and settles his arm over the top of your breast, his hand resting at the center of your chest. You can feel his breath fan across your skin and you have to bite your lip, hard, to avoid shivering.
“It does, but I have a feeling they looked perfect before too.”
You don’t realize you’re holding your breath until you feel slightly dizzy. Did he just? Did he? He complimented your tits. This man complimented your tits, with his face inches away from them, while stabbing you repeatedly with a needle. How are you supposed to respond to that?
“Thank… you.”
Rafayel laughs at your whispered appreciation. His hands work carefully, shifting and sliding to draw the centerpiece.
“Okay, next question.”
Over the next four hours you and Rafayel go back and forth with questions. It almost felt like you were on a first date. You talked about your favorite music, his favorite movies, your job at the Hunters Association, his secret sushi restaurant that’s opening in six months. On your break at the two hour mark, he offered you a soda and walked in circles around the room, stretching his legs, while talking animatedly about a rave happening later this month. And when you begged him for the details so you could get tickets, his smile grew tenfold.
As he was adding the final touches, he stood bent over you poking and dabbing away ink until you were nearly ready to scream. His hair would brush against your shoulder and you’d stiffen, leading to Rafayel joking about ‘staying loose or it’ll hurt more’ which made you squeeze your thighs so tightly you nearly cried. When he finished and was doing the clean up he surprised you, his cheeks were a tad rosy and his usually playful tone more serious.
“I haven’t had this much fun during a session in a while. So… Thank you. I hope you like it.”
You took his hand and sat up, hopping off the table to turn and face the mirror. You were speechless. The lines were sharp and straight, the colors bright, the shading made everything pop out as if the seashells were just sitting on the surface of your skin. Your mermaids were glowing - their scales nearly sparkled and the ocean waves surrounding them looked so real. Tiny sparks floated around the mermaid's hands, creating a shield of fire. Like they were putting on a show or putting up a forcefield. You couldn’t stop yourself from squealing with excitement before you turned around and lunged towards Rafayel, pulling him into a hug.
“Oh my god…”
As soon as your chest collided with his, your excitement faded and pure terror replaced it. You jumped back, instinctively covering your chest with your hands. His ears were bright red and he stared at you, unable to blink it seems.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t even think! I was so excited and… Shit… I –”
He reaches out and takes hold of your arms. You snap your mouth closed.
“It’s okay. I’m glad you love it. I do wish that you hadn’t… pulled away so quickly though…”
You blinked rapidly. He was pouting again, pouting because you pulled away from hugging him. From hugging him while… His thumbs brush against your skin and you tilt your head, scanning his face for confirmation that what he said was real.
“I was going to wait to ask you out until after I bandaged you up and you had your shirt on, but why waste a perfectly good moment?”
Your mouth hangs open and you feel your knees jerk. Rafayel’s hold on you tightens and he helps you lean back against the table.
“Shit… let me get you some juice, you’re probably crashing a bit.”
Oh, he has no idea just how badly you are crashing out right now. He jogs out of the room and returns with a small bottle of orange juice. He opens it for you and holds it to your lips. You take a sip and lift your hand to hold his wrist while he helps you drink. His eyes meet yours and you stare at him, he doesn’t look away, his gaze burns straight to your core. He sets the bottle down and grabs a paper towel, dabbing at your leaking tattoo gently.
“Yes.” You whisper.
“What?”
“Yes, I’ll go out with you.”
If you thought you’d seen him excited before… He smiles, his dazzling teeth take your breath away. You raise a brow when you realize he has gems adhered to his canines - can he get any sexier?
“Well, I’d say this session went swimmingly.”
You giggle and rest your palms on the table behind you. He gets to work cleaning your tattoo and snapping a few pictures for you before covering the fresh ink with Saniderm wrap. You pull your shirt back on and down the rest of the orange juice - you were starting to feel your endorphins fade away and your body was reeling from the experience.
“How does tomorrow night sound?”
He holds his phone out to you and you take it, seeing he already set up a contact for you. You feel your cheeks burn when you see the contact name “Tattoo Cutie.” You don’t correct it, just add your name beside it and punch in your number before handing it back to him.
“Sounds perfect.”
You wake up to a banging on your front door, it’s so loud you’re sure your neighbors will complain to you later. You don’t even bother putting on your robe and jog through your living room. You swing the door open and Tara flies through, nearly knocking you over. You close the door and follow her through the hall to your living room.
“You’re casting a spell or making one of those wish bottle things or whatever it is that you’re doing to make your life so damn perfect.”
She plops down on your sofa and crosses her arms. She stares up at you with a stern expression. You try not to giggle since Tara’s version of “stern” comes across a lot like Rafayel’s pout.
“I didn’t cast a spell. I just –”
“You just what? Became the luckiest girl in the world without even trying? That’s even worse!”
You finally let out a laugh and sit down next to her, pulling your legs to your chest.
“Listen, I have no idea what’s going on, I am just trying to enjoy it while it lasts. It feels like I’m going to wake up any moment and realize it was all a dream.”
She shifts on the sofa and turns to face you.
“I don’t want to sound like I am jealous in a mean way, I am jealous in a ‘give me some of your luck’ way. Maybe then Jeremiah will finally propose…”
You grab her hand and squeeze gently.
“Oh come one, you literally picked out your ring with him! He’ll propose, he’s obsessed with you. He’s also terrified of you, so he knows better than to half-ass a proposal. Give him more time.”
Her cheeks flush and she looks down at her hand, holding up her ring finger. She lets out a sigh and looks up at you with determination.
“I want to know everything about last night. Every dirty detail. Spill.”
She kicks off her shoes and crosses her legs under her, fully facing you. She won’t let go of your hand, so you’re trapped on the sofa with her until you tell her about your date.
“He picked me up on his bike and –”
“He rides a bike! Oh my god that’s hot - what kind?!”
“A Kawasaki. It was really nice, dark blue with bright blue headlights. He told me he collects them so –”
“He collects motorcycles? Oh my god…”
“Are you going to let me tell you about the date or not?”
Tara huffs and lets go of your hand. She lifts her fingers to her mouth and pressed her lips together, ���zipping her lips” so you can continue.
“We drove around for a while and then he took me to – oh I don’t know if I can tell you…”
“BITCH IF YOU DON’T –”
You laugh and lean away from her flailing hands. You raise yours in surrender.
“Okay, okay, but you have to promise not to say anything, swear.”
She places a hand over her heart.
“I swear on Winterford the 3rd I will not speak a word.”
“Woah, swearing on your dog's life is intense Tara.”
She crosses her arms and glares at you. You roll your eyes and continue.
“He is opening a sushi restaurant in a few months, so he took me there to show me around. It’s down at the pier near Whitesand Bay.”
Tara opens her mouth to say something but instantly closes it. You nod in approval, her self-control is improving.
“He doesn’t have a name for it yet, but the interior and kitchen are done. We made sushi together and ate on the rooftop terrace looking out over the water.”
Tara lets out a closed-mouth squeal and claps her hands. She motions with her hands for you to continue.
“We walked along the pier and talked for a long time. When it got dark he offered his jacket - I know - and then we went back to his bike. He drove down this alley where graffiti artists practice and gave me a can to try it out.”
“Wait - sorry - you defaced public property?”
“Rafayel owns the building and advertises it as, and I quote ‘an artists playground’ so no I did not.”
“That’s a shame, it would have been hot.”
“Tara! I’m a public servant! I’d lose my job.”
She pokes your shoulder.
“Only if you get caught!”
You rub your temples and suppress the urge to laugh at her antics.
“What happened next?”
“He drove me home.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
She punches your shoulder and you fall back onto the couch.
“TARA!”
“YOU DIDN’T EVEN GET A KISS? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”
“I DID! Just not… okay… he kissed me on the cheek when he said good night. It was cute.”
“CUTE?”
You sit up and push her, she doesn’t even move.
“I don’t want to rush things!”
“At least tell me he made plans for a second date with you?”
“He did. We are going out on Friday night.”
“Thank god. Please, I beg of you, get laid or at least make out with him!”
“Tara, I swear to god…”
“You have been insanely stressed lately and from what you’ve told me, he is super into you. Just let go babe, enjoy it! Enjoy him.”
You cross your arms and shake your head.
“It’ll happen when it feels right. I won’t lie, I hope it’s sooner rather than later, but I also am willing to wait. I –”
You stop yourself, feeling your cheeks heat up. Tara’s expression softens.
“Oh. Oh.”
You get up from the couch and head into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. Tara is right on your heels.
“You liiiiike him. Aww, babes!”
She wraps her arms around you, hugging your back as you pour coffee beans into your espresso machine.
“I just started seeing him, it’s too early to tell.”
“Sure. Keep telling yourself that.”
She releases you and slides onto a bar stool, her arms leaning on the island. You start chopping up fruit and try to ignore the butterflies in your stomach. The sound of your coffee machine cuts through the silence and you avoid looking at Tara, knowing she can read you like a book. Maybe it was after the tattoo session or when you were holding hands on the pier, but at some point you realized you really liked Rafayel. He made you laugh and he asked the most bizarre questions that made you think about life in a new light. You wanted more and god, you hope he does too.
By the time Friday rolls around you are definitely ready for some fun. You’ve been constantly sharing memes back and forth with Rafayel all week. It’s certainly eased the stress of work. But you want to see him and you’re eager for his call when you finally clock out and head home.
You’re barely in the front door when you hear your phone buzz. You see Rafayel’s name light up your screen and have to force yourself to count to ten before answering it. You don’t want to seem that eager.
“Hey, you.”
“Hey cutie, how was work?”
“It was okay, not too much activity today so I was stuck cataloging old reports. I almost fell asleep like three times.”
“I bet. I… shit… I have to tell you something.”
You clench your fist and lean against the door to your bedroom, dropping your bag to the floor.
“Okaaaay.”
He sighs and the knot in your stomach tightens.
“I have to reschedule.”
And there it is, your heart sinks.
“Oh… yeah okay.”
“Not because I want to, trust me. I owe someone a favor and have to be at a party.”
You bite your lip, propping your hand on your hip as you start to pace.
“I see.”
You can’t mask the edge to your voice. A party? Someone is calling in a favor for him to come to their party? He is famous, so it would make them look good, but why couldn’t he invite you? Was he embarrassed of you? Did he not want people in his life to know you were dating? Or seeing each other? Or just talking? Are you even dating?
“It’s more like work, she’s offering free tattoos to the guests. The other artist fell through so she’s calling me in so her party doesn’t ‘crash and burn’ - her words not mine.”
“Uh huh.”
“Okay, you’re pissed.”
You stop dead in your tracks and straighten up.
“I am not!”
“I can hear you pacing.”
You look down at your shoes. Of course you wore your chunky boots with the clicky heels today. The taps on your wooden floors were that loud? Damn.
“I’m not mad, I promise.”
“Then you’re irritated?”
“No…”
“What is it? Come on, tell me.”
“I guess… confused?”
“Confused about what?”
You close your eyes and sit down on your bed. Bracing yourself for the embarrassment you’re sure will wash over you after your next statement.
“Is there a reason you couldn’t bring me? I know you said it was more like work, but I guess… You know what, nevermind.”
You flop back onto your mattress and cover your eyes with your arm.
“Nope! Not ‘nevermind-ing’ - I would love to bring you, I just… I… fuck how do I explain it?”
“You don’t want anyone knowing about me?”
“No! Fuck no! That’s not what I… shit… okay, I didn’t think you’d want to come. It’s not a normal party. Not everyone is… comfortable with this sort of thing.”
You sit up immediately. Your hand tightly grips your phone.
“What kind of party is it?”
He pauses. The silence stretches for what feels like hours. He finally sighs and chuckles under his breath.
“It’s a sex party, babe.”
You audibly gasp and slap a hand over your mouth. You shake your head and ignore your throbbing clit to continue the conversation.
“Oh, I… right… I get it. Sorry. Uhm…”
“You’re more than welcome to come as my plus one, but only if you’re comfortable.”
You take a moment and consider your options. A sex party. As Rafayel’s plus one. You’ve never been very adventurous with your sexual endeavors. You didn’t even realize sex parties happened in real life. You’re practically salivating just thinking about it. You stand and face the mirror hanging next to your closet. What have you got to lose?
“What should I wear?”
Rafayel laughs, he clears his throat before continuing.
“Something sexy, but that’ll be easy for you. I’ll bring you a mask.”
You pause after opening your closet.
“A mask?”
“Yeah, everyone wears masks to add to the ‘experience’ - everyone at these parties knows each other most of the time, but the masks offer a sense of freedom. Everybody can do what they want for the night, no consequences.”
You tug at the fabric of a sleek black dress as you mull over the idea. Just for the night. No consequences. Maybe Tara is right, maybe you should just let go.
“What time?”
“It starts at 9. I’ll pick you up in an hour.”
“See you then.”
After you hang up you get to work figuring out your outfit. Rafayel might have confidence in your ability to pick out a sexy outfit but you certainly didn’t. Should it be sexy and cute? Just sexy? Sexy and slutty? Sexy and fancy? You pull dress after dress from your closet and nothing feels right. You finally decide to forgo dresses completely. The first skirt you pull out is the one. You can visualize the outfit and while it’s much more revealing than you’re used to, you are pretty sure you’d be wearing more than most of the party goers regardless.
You zip up the pleather mini skirt, adjusting it so it sits high on your hips. Your legs were on full display, the skirt mostly serving to just cover your ass. You grab your favorite black bra and shrug on the mesh top. Layering gold necklaces so your torso doesn’t appear so bare. You look in the mirror and jump up and down with excitement. Your tattoos are fully visible through the mesh. You had lathered lotion onto your new tattoos so the peeling wasn’t noticeable and carefully applied perfume, avoiding the healing skin. Your red pumps sit next to the door with your red crossbody clutch. You were ready, well sort of.
Rafayel called you only a few minutes later and you carefully made your way to the first floor. You were comfortable wearing heels, opting to wear them all the time when hitting the club with Tara or going on dates. But tonight, your nerves were making your ankles a little wobbly. The elevator door opens to the front lobby of your apartment building and you spot Rafayel leaning against a car just outside. Fuck.
He had a button up, that was actually buttoned up this time, tucked into shredded jeans. His boots were laced with gold laces. He had multiple chain necklaces around his neck. As you got closer you realized his shirt was also see through, just little golden floral appliques scattered over the sheer fabric. You could see everything and god, it was a sight. The definition of his abs, the dark lines of a tattoo on his side and swirls of ink trailing from his neck piece down his chest. You spot his navel piercing, sparkling as the setting sun casts what almost felt like a spotlight on him. Something else sparkles, nipple rings. You swear under your breath. He’s going to kill you, not literally, but - well he might with how fast your heart is beating.
He finally looks up from his phone and spots you. His eyes widen and he stares, jaw slack, for at least a full minute. Your cheeks burn and you have to focus on his face so you don’t sneak a peek at his torso again.
“Fuck, you look amazing.”
His words make you stammer. You swallow hard, working up the courage to respond.
“I can say the same for you.”
He wraps an arm around your waist and kisses your cheek. You feel his body against yours and sigh, wishing you could delay him letting you go.
“Ready to go, cutie?”
You nod and he opens the passenger door for you. You slide in and finally take a good look at the car you’re in. You’ve never ridden in a Bentley before - the seats were soft under your thighs. The leather is silky rather than sticky against your skin. The car was painted a similar dark blue to his bike and had the same bright blue headlights. You already knew he liked the color blue, but this just made it more obvious.
He settles into the driver seat and the engine revs to life.
“You’re sure you’re comfortable with this?”
You lean on the center console as you face him, leaning forwards.
“I’m sure.”
“We can leave at any point, Talia will just have to deal with it. Just don’t hesitate to –”
You press your index finger to his lips, silencing him. The surprised look on his face makes your smile hurt your cheeks.
“Rafayel, I’m sure.”
He smiles and you drop your hand, but he grabs it immediately and laces his fingers with yours. He rests your hand on his thigh, rubbing your hand with his thumb as he sets off down the highway.
As the gates to the mansion open, you squeeze Rafayel’s hand trying to quell a wave of nerves. This mansion is huge, you spot two guest houses and a pool with a waterfall - a full ass waterfall - nestled in the backyard surrounded by hundreds of trees and flowers. The cobblestone driveway leads to a massive mahogany front door, where two men stand, dressed in black. Rafayel continues rubbing your hand with his thumb.
“It’s intimidating, I know. It’ll be better once we’re inside.”
You watch party goers enter, getting pat down briefly before heading inside. From what you can see, they’re dressed fairly normally. Dresses and heels, suits or blazers. Rafayel parks in the garage of one of the guest houses and rushes around the car to open your door. You give him a playful glare.
“You know I can open my own door, good sir.”
He takes your hand and helps you out, bringing your hand to his mouth, his lips pressing against your knuckles.
“I’m aware.”
You don’t argue when he wraps an arm around your waist as he leads you to the main house. He enters through a backdoor and a security guard greets him with a smile.
“Raf, good to see you. Talia is in the main room already. She told me to show you to the booth. And who is this with you?”
His voice hardens when he spots you. Rafayel leans over and kisses your temple.
“She’s with me.”
The guard nods and unlocks a door, ushering you both inside.
All the lightbulbs have been replaced with warm red bulbs, fake candles cover every surface, cushions and blankets are tucked in corners. Rooms that typically never have beds have become makeshift bedrooms. Wait staff stroll in and out of the kitchen with platters covered in hors d'oeuvres and flutes of champagne. A DJ is perched on a balcony overlooking the main floor, the music a mix of soft jazz with sultry singers.
You’ve yet to spot any party goers, so you relax a bit as you take in the lavish interior. You’re pulled behind a curtain, a small room sits behind it with a padded table, a small cabinet, a portable sink, a large medical light and a few stools. Rafayel walks up to the cabinet and crouches, examining its contents. You spot a large collection of tattoo equipment. As Rafayel sets up his station, you peek through the curtain and see people walking around. Everyone is wearing masks and at least some form of clothing. You hear Rafayel call your name and you jump back through the curtain.
“Curious, are we?”
You scoff and cross your arms. He turns to you and holds something out. You take it and realize it’s a simple black eye mask, made of simple fabric with a thick elastic band. When you look back up at Rafayel, he is already putting his on. You slip the mask on and fiddle with the elastic, unsure if you should tuck it under your hair. Rafayel touches your hand and you pause. He turns you around and collects your hair, holding it up so you can slip the elastic band underneath. He lets your hair go and smoothes it back in place.
“You’re welcome to look around, you don’t have to stay here with me.”
“I’ll stay, at least for now. I can be your assistant.”
He smiles and brushes his thumb across your cheek. He stares at you for a moment, his eyes bouncing from your eyes to your lips. You hook your fingers in the belt loops of his jeans and he leans closer. Is he going to –
“Raffie! Oh my god thank you thank you thank you!”
A woman with long purple waves bounces through the curtain. You almost let out a gasp when you see she’s naked from the waist up. Rafayel slaps a hand over his eyes and sighs.
“Talia… You might be the one person at this party I absolutely do not want to see naked.”
“Raffie, you’re so dramatic. I have pasties on!.”
If she did have pasties, they were… camouflaged. Her teasing voice only seems to irritate Rafayel more. Or maybe it’s because of her cute little nickname for him.
“Talia, please…”
Talia sighs dramatically and dives through the curtain for a moment. When she returns she has a silky purple robe on. She reaches up and yanks Rafayel’s wrist and pulls his hand from his face. His eyes remain closed.
“I put on a robe, Raffie. Chill out.”
Rafayel opens his eyes and shoves her shoulder playfully.
“Stop it with the Raffie.”
“I don’t know, I like Raffie. It’s cute.”
Rafayel stares at you and you can’t help but laugh. Talia giggles and grabs your hand, shaking it wildly.
“When Rafayel said he was bringing a plus one I was shocked. He never brings anyone around me honestly. You must be special.”
“Oh, no I’m –”
“She is.”
Rafayel cuts you off and you nearly choke on your own saliva. His hand grazes your hip, holding you close. Talia smiles and pokes his shoulder.
“I see. Well… here you go.”
She hands you and Rafayel a keyring with three cards attached. You flip the cards back and forth, not seeing anything printed on them.
“In case you decide to… participate. Feel free to tattoo as long as you like, I only promised the service until midnight.”
Rafayel nods and accepts the side hug Talia offers. She gives you a quick hug as well - taking you by surprise - before skipping out of the room.
“So that’s Talia. She’s my aunt. And she’s so great at introductions.”
He puts his keyring in the cabinet and sits down on one of the stools next to the table. He starts spreading out a wide array of flash tattoos he’s designed, making it easier for selection. You fiddle with the keyring.
“So what’s this about?”
He looks up and, even in the dim lighting you can see his ears turn red.
“It’s a… aha… a way to approach someone you want to interact with and express interest.”
You stare at him, letting your mind wander as you try to figure out how it works. You avoid Rafayel’s gaze, embarrassed that you don’t understand his implications. You hear him stand and approach you. His hand covers your own and he takes the keyring. You watch as he flips to the blue card.
“An individual will approach another individual, or a group of individuals, and hold up a card. They’ll wait until they’re chosen or refused. The card tells you what they want.”
You lift your wide eyes to meet his.
“The blue card is for the male. The red card is for the female. And the yellow card is for both.”
You blink rapidly and clear your throat.
“So if I approached you and held up this.”
He holds up the red card.
“It means I want you… In whatever way I can have you.”
You take a deep breath and feel your chest tighten. You press your thighs together and basically beg your pussy to calm down. He places the keyring back in your hand and closes your fingers around it. He lifts his hand to hold the side of your neck. He leans closer, his nose brushing against yours, his breath fanning across your face. His lips barely graze your cheek, just above your lips. Every breath you take pushes your chest against his. It takes everything you have not to grab him and devour him on the spot.
You hear the curtain behind you flip open and Rafayel lets go of your neck, looking up to see his first client. You sit on a stool and watch Rafayel tattoo client after client. Most are completely naked, which takes you a bit of time to adjust to. You help him by cleaning the table - very well - between clients.
Every time a woman enters, their breasts bouncing and pussy proudly on display, you feel a twinge of pain. And when Rafayel puts his hands on them to begin working, it feels like you’re going to throw up.
Before you know it, midnight is less than a half hour away and your nerves start to swirl. What will Rafayel want to do once his “duties” are done? Just as you’re getting ready to ask him, a perky brunette with olive skin strolls in. Golden chains draped over her perfect body. She leans against the table and points to a simple jellyfish design.
“It’s a popular one. Where’dya want it?”
He clears the table and she lays down on her back. You glance down at your phone and check the time and when you look back up, she is laying with her legs spread wide. You hold your breath and look to Rafayel, who is still focused on getting his supplies refreshed. When he turns around a look of genuine surprise graces his face. He sets his tattoo gun down and crosses the room to wash his hands.
“Are you sure about that? It’s worse than a piercing and harder to heal. You won't be able to participate anymore tonight.”
“A night of passion or a tattoo on my pussy by the famous Rafayel? I am absolutely sure.”
Rafayel doesn’t look at you as he puts on his gloves. You tense and drop your gaze. He sits on his stool and slides over, when you finally look up you see him basically staring at her pussy. You gasp silently, you didn’t think it was loud enough for anyone to hear, but when Rafayel glances over his shoulder at you you quickly get up and dash through the curtain.
You don’t look back and you don’t hear him call for you - not that you could hear anything over the music and moans. You walk through the various rooms, grabbing a glass of champagne from a waiter on your way. You finally find an empty room and sit down to catch your breath. You down your champagne in one go and fiddle with the stem of the glass.
You know you shouldn’t be upset, you weren’t in a relationship and this was technically your second date. From the sounds of it, he’s tattooed that area before. Of course he has, it’s his job. It isn’t a big deal. You feel foolish for running out like that, he probably thinks you’re dramatic and can’t handle his job or his fame. You set the glass on a table nearby and cover your face with your hands.
You finish off two more glasses of champagne before feeling brave enough to head back into the main hall. You take your time as you walk back to Rafayel’s tattoo booth, letting yourself watch the chaos around you. Clusters of people on beds, tables and even the floor. Riding, licking, sucking, moaning. You feel like you’re in another world, where shame and embarrassment don’t exist. If you weren’t so frustrated you might actually be enjoying yourself.
You stop at the staircase, your eyes locked on a couple wrapped around each other. It’s not like the others, they take their time, kissing and touching before he lifts her to ride his cock. Her moans are soft and the smile on her face - she’s experiencing pure bliss. You feel your cheeks heat and your throat tighten. You want that, not just a night of passion with a hot guy. And maybe you aren’t able to handle Rafayel’s job or fame. Is that such a bad thing? That you know what you want? Or what you don’t want?
“Cutie?”
Rafayel’s voice breaks you out of your spiral. You feel his hand on your back and you turn to face him. You know your cheeks are flushed, your eyes hazy yet vacant as your mind tries to make sense of your newfound clarity.
“I’m sorry I ran out.”
He places his hands on your shoulders and rubs your arms.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“I know it’s your job and you’ve probably tattooed plenty of pussies - it’s not a big deal.”
“Really? I think it is a big deal if it upsets you.”
“I wasn’t upset. It doesn’t matter anyway, if I can’t handle it then maybe you should find someone who can.”
He stiffens, his brows knit together and his eyes darken. His voice drops and his tone becomes rigid.
“Is that what you want? For me to find someone else?”
“Maybe I am uncomfortable with the idea of you touching another girl's pussy, even if it is for your job. So yes, find someone who doesn’t care.”
He pushes you back against the wall. His hands move from your arms to tightly grip your hips.
“What if I like that about you?”
You open your mouth to respond, but he leans in, pressing his chest against yours.
“Do you want my hands on you? Only you? Only touching your pussy?”
Your chest heaves, pressing against him with every breath. His hands move up your waist, forcing your back to arch off the wall towards him.
“Cause that’s what I want. I don’t want to touch anyone else like that, not when yours is the one I can’t stop thinking about tasting.”
His nose rubs against yours.
“I told her to change the location or get out.”
His lips brush against yours, you can almost taste him.
“So don’t tell me to find someone else because you’re the one I want. So please, don’t run away.”
You let out a shaky breath and reach up to grab his neck, you capture his lips. He moans against your mouth and you bite his lip. He gasps and tries to pull back but you don’t let him. You hold him to you and slide your tongue into his mouth, which he quickly sucks in. His tongue dances with yours leaving you breathless.
He leans down to pick you up. You wrap your legs around his waist and his hands dive under your skirt. He grabs your ass and you roll your hips against his stomach. He walks over to an unoccupied sofa and sits down with you straddling his lap. You run your hands down his body, feeling the chill of his nipple rings against your palms. He pushes your hips down and you lower onto him, his bulge growing harder under you. He suddenly pulls back.
“Wait - do you want to go somewhere private?”
You grind your hips against him and he groans loudly. You can feel eyes on you and it makes you grind harder. You lean forward and press your mouth to his ear.
“I can’t wait… and I want them to watch you take what’s yours.”
Something inside of Rafayel snaps. He rips the mesh top from your body and pulls up your skirt over your hips. His hands roam across your back as he places kisses to your chest. Your relentless grinding makes him nip and lick at your skin in response. He unhooks your bra and tosses it over the sofa, his mouth moving to capture your nipple. You throw your head back and sigh, your breathing becoming more erratic by the second.
He lifts your hips and you whine, the friction of his bulge against your clothed pussy wasn’t perfect, but it was something. He picks you up and stands, dropping you onto the couch. He kneels and unzips your skirt, pulling it completely off of you. You tug the buttons on his shirt loose and run your hands over his chest. He pulls off the shirt and you reach to unbutton his pants, but his hand stops you. You look at him, confused.
“I have to show you something first, okay baby?”
You nod and lean back. He unbuttons his pants and bends to pull them down completely - along with his underwear. Your jaw drops, literally drops, at the sight of his cock. Not just because he is well-endowed - not to the point of discomfort, but you’re sure you’ll be sore tomorrow. But because the moment you saw that glint of silver your pussy throbbed so hard you nearly came.
Right at the base of his slit sat the silver ball, you reach out and wrap your hand around him. He shudders but remains still for you. You run your fingers over his slit, already leaking pre-cum, and roll the silver ball between your fingers. You feel the other end of the piercing underneath, you shift the piercing back and forth. He moans and his hips twitch. You stroke him slowly, working your way down to the silver studs at the base, sitting atop his pubic mound. You moan as your fingers rub across it, imagining how good it will feel against your clit.
“Having fun, cutie?”
His words are broken, his breathing labored as you work him. You smile up at him and push yourself to the end of the sofa. He reaches his hand out and strokes your cheek. You hold his gaze as you stick your tongue out and lick his slit. His hands grip your hair and he pulls you away from him. He towers over you, making you lean back onto the couch. He climbs over you and leans down, pressing his lips to your neck.
“How wet are you right now?”
You roll your hips up against his cock and he growls into your neck. He sits back to tug your panties down your legs. He lowers himself again, pressing his entire body against yours. You moan with how hot his skin feels against yours. You wrap your arms around him and cling to him, your legs spreading wider as he settles against you. His hands roam your body, pinching at your nipples, fingering your weeping pussy, palming your ass - every touch sending shockwaves through your system.
He dips his fingers further into your pussy and you pull your hips back. He looks at you, sweat already dripping down his forehead. You run your fingers through his hair, pushing it out of his eyes - those beautiful fucking eyes.
“I don’t want your fingers Raf, please…”
He chuckles and slides his hand down to line himself up. You feel the chill of metal against your entrance and flinch.
“Look at me.”
You tear your eyes away from his cock and meet his gaze. He leans forward and kisses you. It’s a slow and steady kiss. Your mind swims as you feel his tongue slide in. And then you feel that delicious stretch, his cock sinking into you, the metal balls of his piercing stroking your inner walls. The kiss turns messy as your moans and his gasps harmonize and fill the air around you. Finally your hips jerk forward and you feel his pubic piercing press to your clit. You pull away from the kiss to scream his name, the pressure and chill of the metal overloading your senses.
Rafayel whines as he holds still to let you adjust to him. You claw at his back and he drops a foot to the floor beside the couch to angle his hips better. You know he’s about to pound into you and make you scream even louder. The thought of the people around you watching makes you delirious.
“Raf.. I need you– I need you to move, please…”
He doesn’t hesitate and he pulls back until just his tip is tucked inside and then he rams his hips forward, sending you backwards on the couch. You squeal and moan as he finds his rhythm. He rests his forehead against yours and gasps for air, his chest turning red from the exertion. Every snap of his hips pushes his pubic piercing against your clit making it throb and the drag of those inside of you drives you crazy. Finally you feel it, that silver ball hitting that spongy spot that makes your legs shake. You whimper and ignore the tears sliding down your cheek, the pleasure completely encompassing your being.
“Fuck… I need to come, ahh.. Shit…”
He starts to pull out, but you wrap your legs around him and lock your ankles. He looks at you, his forehead tight as he fights off his orgasm. You release his back for a moment to grab his face, pressing a kiss to his swollen lips.
“Come inside me, baby. Pill… I’m on the pill, just come for me…”
Your command is immediately obeyed, you feel his release and shudder as the warmth fills you. His pace never falters and the added slickness from his release makes his cock slide through you even faster. Your g-spot is hit every single time he thrusts and you finally feel your back arch and your body tremble, your orgasm hits and you scream.
“Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes Rafayel fuck yeeeeessss…”
As you both come down, you feel his body relax against you. You lean your head to the side and he nuzzles into your neck. His soft kisses help your breathing to steady. You open your eyes and gasp quietly. Rafayel lifts his head and follows your gaze. A small group of people are standing in a circle around the sofa where you and Rafayel are lying. Some of them are holding cards and leaning on each other, some are just smiling and whispering to each other.
“They want to join.”
Rafayel whispers in your ear. You hold onto him, suddenly very aware of how naked you are - how naked everyone is. Rafayel lifts you, his cock slipping out before he settles you on his lap. He wraps his arms around you protectively.
“We can tell them to leave, if you want?”
You hear your heart pounding in your ears. Before tonight, you never would have thought you’d be interested in experiencing certain things, but now…
“Are you uncomfortable with anything?”
He looks at you, his brows raised in surprise.
“Another man’s dick in you, for one. Or his tongue…”
“I meant, for you.”
He tilts his head.
“I thought…”
“I don’t want you anywhere near another girl’s pussy. But his… tongue…”
You look up and stare at a particularly attractive man standing on the outskirts of the small group, partially hidden in shadow. He’s tall, broad shoulders, the hard lines of his abdomen glisten with sweat. An intricate tattoo of a dragon starts at his chest, its wings spread across his shoulder and down his arm, the body trails down his side, curving over his abs before its tail spirals down his hip and coils around his thigh. Before you can stop yourself, your eyes shift and damn… you can appreciate a pretty cock when you see one. His black and red mask covers his whole face, but even from a distance, his eyes are piercing. Rafayel follows your eyes and sees him, a blue card in his hand.
“What do you want him to do to me?”
You lean into his ear and nip at his earlobe, his cock springing to life against your thigh.
“I want him to suck you off while I ride your face.”
Rafayel groans, his head pressed into your shoulder. You play with the hair at the nape of his neck.
“Only if you want to. I want you to be comfortable. I want you to feel good.”
He lifts his head and looks at the man, who you’re positive is smiling wickedly. Rafayel gives him a nod and he approaches. The rest of those watching move back slightly, giving your trio more room. The man pulls a large round ottoman over and kneels beside it. His voice is deep and smooth, sending shivers down your back. Watching a man like this make Rafayel writhe with pleasure sends a new slickness to your tender pussy.
“Your ass goes here pretty boy, you lay back with your head on the couch so your girl can sit comfortably.”
He pats the ottoman, now lined up against the couch. Rafayel stares at him, his mouth hangs open. You examine the man before you, you wonder if he’s wearing contacts. Crimson eyes stare directly at Rafayel. Just as Rafayel is about to speak, the man lifts a finger to where his mouth would be. He reaches around his ear and you hear a quiet click. The lower half of his mask detaches and he slides it off, his face now only partially disguised. His smirk is breathtaking, he licks his lips slowly.
“I’m a man of my word.”
You look at Rafayel and narrow your eyes. He shakes his head.
“I’ll explain later.”
You lean in and kiss him, he whines when you pull back. He stands up with you in his arms and sets you on your feet beside him. He approaches the man, who is at least 2-3 inches taller than him. The man places a finger under Rafayel’s chin and lifts his gaze.
“Your legs don’t move and your hands stay still. If you thrust, I hold you down. I’m doing the work here. Just like she –”
He points at you over Rafayel’s shoulder.
“She is riding. You lay there and take it, got it?”
You watch Rafayel tense, but with how his breathing accelerates you can tell he is turned on. He lays down, positioning himself as instructed. The man kneels and places his hands on Rafayel’s knees. Rafayel looks down and watches the man slowly glide his hands up his thighs. You crawl onto the couch, watching the man caress Rafayel. Finally the man wraps his large hands around Rafayel’s cock and strokes him until Rafayel is panting. The man nods at you and you pull on Rafayel’s shoulders until he rests his head back on the couch. You lift your leg over his head and hover over his face, but he doesn’t let you tease him. He grabs your thighs and pulls you down without warning. His lips close around your clit. You gasp and grab onto his elbows.
You feel the chill of his lip piercings, his septum ring brushes against the skin just above your clit. And you finally have your answer, how his tongue ring would feel… you’ll never be the same. The ball rolls over your clit, the sudden chill and pressure makes your vision blur. You start rolling your hips. His moans start to get louder and you look up to see the man has started licking Rafayel’s shaft, placing sloppy kisses to his tip. He sucks his tip into his mouth and suckles, the lewd slurping sound he makes pushes you to grind your hips faster. When he finally takes Rafayel fully into his mouth Rafayel’s hips jerk. The man stops and lifts his mouth off of him and you feel Rafayel shake.
“I told you, no moving.”
He presses his forearms onto Rafayel’s thighs and grip his hips. You feel Rafayel’s fingers dig into your thighs as he laps at your clit, making your core heat unbelievably fast. You watch the man take Rafayel back into his mouth, lowering himself until Rafayel’s cock is fully in his mouth. Rafayel shakes under you and whimpers loudly. Hearing him whimper like that could make you come untouched, you’re sure of it. You watch the man’s throat move as he swallows around his length. You grind faster, knowing Rafayel won’t last long if this mystery man is deepthroating him so easily. He finally thrusts his tongue inside you and you lean forward, resting your hands on his stomach.
“Tell him to finger you.”
The man’s rushed words take you by surprise. As soon as he says them he is taking Rafayel in his mouth again. You lift yourself up just enough to hear Rafayel take a deep breath and groan wildly. You shift and bring your knees closer to his head.
“Raf, fingers… in me.”
A cocky smile tugs at his lips.
“I thought you said… you didn’t want my fingers?”
He barely gets the words out before he gasps, the man has shifted and sucked one of Rafayel’s balls into his mouth, his hand stroking his shaft. You look back at Rafayel and smile.
“Do as you’re told, pretty boy.”
You sit back down before he can reply. He quickly lifts his hands and circles your pussy as he continues to work your clit with his tongue. His teeth graze the sensitive bundle and his fingers curl and scissor rapidly against your puffy walls, not giving you a moment to adjust. You lean down and run your tongue over his nipple ring, he rams his fingers into you harder in response, finding your sweet spot. You take the piercing between your teeth and give it a gentle tug and start rolling your fingers over the other side.
You watch as the man starts bobbing up and down, from tip to base he takes Rafayel’s cock over and over.. You swear you can see the outline of Rafayel’s cock in his throat. He starts groaning, the vibration sends Rafayel into a frenzy and you feel your orgasm crest.
“I’m coming fuck fuck fuck… ahhhh yes Raf yes..”
You hear the man moan and look up to see Rafayel’s release leaking out of the sides of his mouth. That sight makes your climax so intense you worry you might blackout. You feel Rafayel start tapping your thigh and you quickly lift yourself away, he gasps for air but laughs as he relaxes. You crawl off of him and are mortified to see the couch around his head completely soaked, his face and hair drenched. But you can’t find a reason to care when he looks so pussy drunk.
The man stands and wipes at his lip with his thumb, you glance down at Rafayel’s cock and see not a drop of his release is left behind. This man really sucked him dry and cleaned up… impressive. Rafayel sits up and looks up at the man.
“Debt is paid. See you next week, Rafayel.”
With that, he turns and leaves. You look at Rafayel and crawl onto his lap.
“I’m looking forward to hearing what that was about…”
You try to wipe his forehead with your wrist.
“Leave it, I like smelling like you.”
You slap his chest and he chuckles. He looks up to see there are still people waiting.
“Still in the mood to experiment?”
You don’t even glance around, you just lock your arms around his neck and kiss his cheek.
“No, I want you to myself. I need to see if my mouth can make you whimper like that again.”
He glares at you and pinches your side. You try to wiggle away from him, but he grabs you and hauls you over to lay on top of him.
“I can promise you, when it’s your mouth, I’ll be so delirious I might speak another language entirely.”
You kiss his nose.
“That’s hot.”
He laughs and kisses your nose.
“Let’s get out of here, yea?”
You’ve basically lived at Rafayel’s apartment over Lemuria Studios for the past week. It’s closer to the Association and much nicer. Plus, waking up next to him is a great way to start your day. And being fucked senseless every night is definitely helping you sleep better.
“You should go by your place after you get off work, pick up some clothes and shit.”
You put down your coffee and stare at him.
“I want you to be comfortable when you stay here.”
You stand up from the bar stool and walk around the kitchen island. He stops chopping vegetables to lean on the counter and look at you. His shirt hangs off your shoulders, the hem barely covering your ass. You run your hands down his chest, placing a kiss over his heart. Wrapping your arms around his waist, you press yourself against him. He rubs his hands over your back and rests his chin on your head.
“I like changing into your clothes when I get off work. I like using your shower gel so I can smell like you. I like sleeping naked in your bed. I am more comfortable than I’ve ever been.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I want you wearing my clothes and sleeping naked…”
You feel his hands glide down your back and pull his shirt up over your ass. The cool air against your bare skin makes you shiver. He leans down to kiss your neck, his hands feeling the curve of your ass and diving lower between your legs.
“I just think you should have some of your own things, you know?”
“I’ll pick up a few things after work.”
His fingers press against the crotch of your panties and you shiver.
“When do you have to leave for work?”
You glance over his shoulder at the clock and smile. You giggle and grab onto his neck, keeping him close.
“About an hour…”
He plants his hands under your ass and lifts you up. He continues placing messy kisses to your neck as he walks you to his bedroom.
“That should tide us over until tonight, yea?”
Work wasn’t boring, but you were itching to leave and head to your place. The more you thought about it the more excited you were to have your things at Rafayel’s place. You loved smelling like him, but your hair types are very different and his products are definitely not working for you. You planned your entire evening while working. Completing reports, canvassing Wanderer hotspots, scanning physical reports into the digital system - with every mind numbing task, you got closer and closer to the self-care date with yourself.
When you open the door to your apartment you’re greeted with the scent of extremely ripe bananas. You forgot you’d gotten them the day before the party and now… You close your front door and drop your keys on the entry table. You enter the kitchen and stare at the bananas. As you poke at them, you have an idea. It’s been ages since you’ve baked banana bread, but your grandmother's recipe is a classic. You find the recipe book on your bookshelf and gather the supplies you need. But before you bake, you need “an everything shower.” Badly.
Your shower gel is more floral than Rafayel’s, which is refreshing. And your scalp is finally able to breathe with your products gently scrubbing away the buildup. Shaving takes forever, but it’s worth it, Rafayel’s silk sheets would feel like heaven against your skin tonight. You put on a face mask while moisturizing and dance around your kitchen in your underwear while you stack the ingredients for the banana bread on the counter
Once the bread is in the oven, you grab a small suitcase and start packing up a few essentials. The travel size versions of your hair care products, underwear, an extra work uniform, a set of pajamas - just in case - two casual outfits and your go-to little black dress. You throw the uniform you wore today in the washer into the dryer and go through your fridge in case anything went bad while you were gone.
You’re setting the trash bag by the front door when you hear a muffled grunt. You press your ear to the door and hear more quiet groans and shuffling feet. You stand on your tiptoes and look through your peephole as quietly as possible. You see what looks like a white helmet and a purple jacket. They’re so close to your door you start to panic. You hear a knock at your door and you freeze.
“Cutie? Are you still here?”
Rafayel’s voice is muffled behind the door. You let out a sigh of relief and swing the door open, forgetting you’re only in your underwear. Rafayel is hunched over against the doorframe, the sleeves of his leather jacket are torn and the left leg of his cargo pants are shredded and bloody.
“Shit! Rafayel what happened?!”
He tugs at his helmet but can’t get it off. You push his hands away and unhook the straps to pull the helmet off his head. His face is pale and he’s drenched in sweat, but he still smirks when he sees you.
“Damn… what a welcome.”
“Shut the fuck up…”
You lift one of his arms and wrap it around your shoulder. You carefully help him walk into your apartment, kicking the door closed behind you.
You help him sit down on the couch and drag your coffee table closer to elevate his leg. The fabric is almost completely torn away from his skin and you can see the dirt and gravel stuck in his wounds. You help him remove his gloves and jacket, carefully inspecting his arm to see if there’s any wounds you haven’t seen. You tug his damp t-shirt off and look for any cuts. Bruises are already starting to darken over his ribcage.
You rush through your room to the bathroom to get a first aid kit and a few towels. You toss your face mask in the trash and put on your robe, haphazardly tying the belt at your waist. When you return Rafayel has his head back on the cushion with his eyes closed.
“Raf? You with me?”
He opens his eyes and smiles weakly. He tries to sit up, but clutches his side with a grimace.
“Rafayel, you need a doctor.”
He shakes his head, but keeps a hand pressed over his ribcage.
“It’s not that serious, trust me. I just need it cleaned up. I’m sorry I just showed up like this…”
“Rafayel…”
“I’ll get checked out when my doctor gets back in town. I promise.”
You rub your forehead and reach to turn on another light. You place the first aid kit on the coffee table and rush to the kitchen to grab a glass and a bowl of water. You hand Rafayel the glass, set the bowl down and sit down in front of him.
“Drink that.”
He doesn’t argue, he drinks the water slowly while he watches you work. You dip a towel in the water and gently try to clean the dirt and gravel out of his wound. He winces, but doesn’t struggle. You start putting a bit more pressure to see where the deeper cuts are and he groans. You look up at him and he has his eyes closed tightly.
“Are you going to tell me what happened?”
You continue cleaning the wound until it looks clear of debris. You shake a can of antiseptic spray, squinting your eyes at him as he shrugs.
“I crashed, no biggie.”
You grit your teeth and spray a more than generous amount on his leg. His leg shakes and he curses under his breath. He reaches for your hand and takes the can, chucking it across the room.
“Enough! I.. I think it’s clean…”
You flash him a smirk and grab a roll of gauze to start wrapping his leg.
“I haven’t crashed in a long time, but these things happen. I’m okay.”
You continue wrapping his leg in silence. The feeling he is hiding something ripping into you like a knife. This is a serious injury, he could have lost his leg or worse. He’s a careful driver, you know that. So what caused him to crash? You finally look at the helmet on the floor next to the couch. The white paint on the side is scraped and you can see a thin crack along the visor. But what catches your eye is the intricate red design on the front.
“Nice helmet.”
“Thank you. I don’t get to wear it often. Guess it’ll be retiring until I get it fixed up, huh?”
You nod. He leans forward and grabs your hands.
“I know it looks bad, but I’ve had worse. Come on, look at me, please?”
Just as you meet his gaze his phone rings. He grabs his jacket on the couch and digs his phone out. His gentle smile drops when he sees the caller.
“I need to take this, I’m sorry.”
He lifts his leg and tries to stand up, but you push him back.
“I’ll go, you need to keep your leg elevated.”
You walk to your room, closing the door behind you. Holding the handle, you don’t let the lock click. You wait until you hear a hushed “hello” before pulling the door open a crack. You press your ear as close to the opening as possible. Rafayel’s voice is hushed.
“I need to know their name.”
“No, I know. I know. I’d never seen them before.”
“I don’t give a fuck, they almost got Ryūō caught. Cops knew which bike to follow.”
Your eyes widen at the mention of cops. Who is Ryūō? Is that really a name?
“Yea, they caused my crash. No, Zayne’s out of town. Of course I’m not at the hospital, I’m not a fucking idiot. I’m okay, seriously, I need to focus on Ryūō.”
Zayne?! As in your childhood friend, the head of cardiology? That Zayne? Is he Rafayel’s primary physician too? Why can’t Rafayel go to the hospital?
“I want a name by the end of the night, put any expenses on my card.”
“No, don’t say anything. I’ll set up the next meeting and fill everyone in.”
“Yeah, fuck… Okay, have Ryūō call me.”
You’re tempted to swing the door open and confront him immediately, but your brain is swimming with theories.
“Cutie? You can come out now!”
You open the door slowly. Your eyes narrow and you glare at him from across the room. He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes and your stomach tightens. As you approach him, he shifts uncomfortably, your gaze finally unsettling him. Just as you sit down to finish treating his leg, his phone rings again.
“Is that Ryūō?”
He looks up from his phone, his expression darkens. You don’t leave, instead you continue wrapping his leg and sit in silence while his phone continues to ring. Finally, he answers it.
“Hey.”
“No, doc’s out of town. I’m okay. It could have been worse.”
“Where’d you stash your bike?”
“No no no, I’ll send someone to get it. Keep your head down for a few days.”
“I’m looking into it.”
“He put down Onryō so I’m guessing it’s personal. Could be you, could be me, or both. I’ll have more info by the end of the night.”
Onryō? As in the Japanese yokai? You remember reading about popular yokai’s before your vacation to Japan after you graduated college. You recall they are ghosts who hyperfocus on vengeance. Their passion could be born out of jealousy or hatred. Does he think this person is trying to hurt him and this Ryūō person? Now Ryūō makes more sense. Another yokai.
“Sy, I am asking you not to look into it. It’ll get too messy if you get involved.”
Who is Sy?
“I know what you can do and I am asking you not to do anything. Please. I will call you as soon as I know anything.”
He hangs up and tosses it on the couch. He covers his face with his hands and groans, running his hands through his hair before looking up to stare at you.
“Go on, ask.”
You secure the gauze with tape. Picking up a new towel, you dip it in the water and squeeze out the excess before moving to sit next to him. You wipe his face and he relaxes, you continue down his chest.
“I’m pretty good at puzzles. So… I think I pieced most of it together.”
“Do tell.”
You feel his fingers trace your jaw. You pause and look at him.
“Bikes, cops, code names, someone is messing with you or whoever Ryūō is. My educated guess… Racing?”
He looks down at his leg, his brows furrow.
“Am I wrong?”
He sighs and looks at you again.
“Spot on.”
“So can you tell me what really happened now?”
He pulls the towel out of your hand and pulls you to him. You lean against the couch, careful not to put any pressure on his ribs. Once you settle, he takes a deep breath.
“I’ve been a part of the racing scene for a few years. Ryūō and I started around the same time. Now, we’ve become leaders… kind of? We’re used to having targets on our backs. So we’re careful about bringing new people onto the scene. Today, we held an open race to test the waters and it bit us in the ass.”
“Onryō? You mean?”
“Yeah... They signed in and before the race even started, cops rolled up. They targeted Ryūō and he pulled off the race to pull the cops away from us. That’s when the prick kicked me off my bike on a turn and I fucked up my leg.”
“So you have people looking for this Onryō person, what will happen when they find them?”
“My people will call me. And I’ll deal with it.”
You cross your arms and glare at him.
“And how will you, “deal with it” exactly?”
Rafayel tosses his head back on the couch and closes his eyes.
“I can’t tell you that, cutie, you know that.”
“Why not?”
“Because I am not going to put your job on the line. You have a duty to report this kind of thing, right? The less I say the better.”
“So Ryūō and Sy, they’re the same person, right?”
Your question makes Rafayel sit up straight, he turns to you and grabs your shoulders tightly.
“Drop it. Please.”
“No. You came to my door, bleeding and bruised and you’re expecting me to just ignore whatever shit you’re into that caused all this? Really Rafayel?”
His grip tightens.
“You’re not getting hurt because of me.”
You reach up to hold his face in your hands. Your thumbs brushing under his eyes.
“I’m a hunter, I am good at taking care of myself. I’m not afraid of whatever it is you’re involved in, but what I am afraid of is you getting hurt.”
He leans into your touch, his cheeks warming and his pale skin starts to flush.
“I know you’re able to protect yourself, but these people… They’re different. They play by a different set of rules and I don’t want you to risk your job or your safety for me.”
“That’s my choice.”
He huffs out a laugh and leans his forehead against yours.
“I know, I just… fuck…”
You kiss his nose affectionately and he wraps his arms around you, pulling you to his chest. You curl up beside him, pressing your face into his neck.
“Let me choose you.”
He rubs your back and your body relaxes next to him.
“So…”
He kisses the top of your head and hums encouraging you to continue.
“What’s your name? Like your racing name?”
He chuckles and leans back, tucking you into his side. You rest your head on his shoulder.
“Kiko.”
You close your eyes, it seems all the racers pick a yokai as their code name. You try to remember the lore behind Kiko.
“That’s a type of Kitsune, right? A holy fox? No, spirit fox!”
“Yep.”
You shift so you can look up at him.
“I thought you’d pick something ocean related like… Kōjin or Tatsu?”
“A biker with an oceanic racer alias, purple hair and brightly colored Kawasaki?”
“Oh…”
“Yea, I don’t need cops breathing down my neck at the studio. So I chose something, I guess, that fit my personality?”
“You relate to a fox, huh?”
“Curious, playful, intelligent. Yea, I think so.”
“They’re also very loud if they don’t get love and affection.”
Rafayel nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck, you giggle, swatting at him to sit up.
“I guess it’s an accurate description then.”
You look down at his helmet and squint. The white base and red lines around the eyes and at the center.
“Ohhh… that explains your helmet!”
“Yeah, usually I wear a white leather jacket but I was in a rush today.”
“You don’t race the blue bike you’ve been driving me around on, do you?”
“No, I have a different bike for races. Different colors and fake plates.”
You sit up, cross your legs and face him.
“Take me with you.”
His eyes widened in surprise.
“Like, on a ride?”
You smile, a wicked gleam in your eye.
“On a race.”
He stares at you, his mouth open and eyes unblinking. You stare back, your smile unwavering.
“You realize it’s illegal, right?”
You nod.
“And dangerous?”
You nod.
“And you might –”
You slap a hand over his mouth. He chuckles, the vibrations tickling your hand.
“I know the risks. I want to see more of your world. Especially when mine is so… blah…”
“Hmm mmh mmh hmm huh mhm!” He mumbles, trying to speak to you through your hand.
You move your hand away and pinch his cheek. He grabs your hand and holds it tight.
“You fight Wanderers for a living! That’s not ‘blah’!”
“Fine. I want to see more of your world because I…”
You look down at your lap, trying to hide the blush spreading across your cheeks. He grabs your chin and lifts your face to meet his gaze.
“Because what, cutie?”
“Because I hope I can be a part of it…”
He plants his hands on your waist and lifts you, plopping you down on his lap. His hands hold onto your ass and he pulls you closer. It’s at this moment you realize you’re still not wearing any pants and the rough fabric of his cargo pants rubbing against your nearly bare pussy makes you twitch. You grab onto his shoulders and try to lift yourself off his lap.
“Your leg!”
“It’s fine, stop squirming.”
You let out an exaggerated sigh and shift your knees wider to properly straddle him. He squeezes your ass and rubs his hands down your thighs. You run your hands down his chest and start to play with his nipple rings, which earns you a deep groan. He takes the hint and stops teasing you.
“I want you to be a part of my life, but it’s a complicated one. Are you sure?”
You wrap your arms around his neck and thread your fingers through his hair. You lean forward and place a gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth.
“Show me a whole new world, Aladdin.”
He chuckles and bites his lip as he looks up at you.
“My dick is not a magic carpet, but I will take you for a ride.”
You slap his chest and try not to laugh.
“You’re so stupid…”
He seizes the opportunity, with your hands on his chest, to grab your face and pull you to him. He kisses you until you can barely breath, your worries fade. You’re not sure what you’re getting yourself into, but you’re sure of one thing - Rafayel has made you feel more alive in the past week than you’ve felt in years. And you’re going to chase this feeling, for as long as possible.
Rafayel finally lets you breathe and you smell something burning. He scrunches his nose and you sniff the air, trying to determine what it could be. Your eyes widen and you scramble to crawl off of Rafayel’s lap.
“My banana bread!”
(AN Part 2: Surprise! It's also a crowfish fic. Smile.)
Tag List (comment if you wanna be added!): @trishiepo0 @not-so-quite-human @kitsunetori @babyx91 @libriomancer @lilyadora @crowskitten22 @letharue @silverbrain @m00nchildwrites @plsdonttakemyname
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace rafayel#rafayel x reader#lads rafayel#rafayel love and deepspace#lads smut#lnds rafayel#lads#lnds#rafayel x y/n#rafayel x you#rafayel smut#rafayel fanfic#tattoos#inked#inked hottie#rafayel tattoos#rafayel tatted#rafayel inked#biker#bike racer#sea god rafayel#love and deepspace sylus#sylus (love and deepspace)#lads sylus#lnds sylus#l&ds sylus#sylus love and deepspace#sylus#minor violence
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new game, dom!camboy!sungchan x sub!camboy!wonbin
previous parts action! (1), level up (2)
! mxm content :3 dom/sub dynamic, blowjob and handjob(s), a bit of face fucking..., overstimulation, nipple play, slight cum play, sungchan is a bit mean again, degradation, manipulation, use of slut/whore
if mxm content isn't your thing please don't read :)
oh how thick is the air . how heavy is the tension. wonbin can barely face his roommate. imagine having to keep living with someone who overstimulated you on your own camboy live? that's exactly wonbin's problem.
sungchan is not really at ease either. he had created his own channel and after jerking off on live once, he became addicted to the feeling of being watched, and even more to the clinging sound of the money dropping in his inbox when he lifted his shirt to flash his toned stomach. the more he groaned audibly the more the viewers number grew. sungchan could only guess how easily wonbin got obsessed with the website and the red dot of the camera.
but the worse is that sungchan can't get out of his head what he did to wonbin. having his roommate tied up and completely at his mercy, crying as he spilled ropes of cum on the vibrator sungchan used. the sight of wonbin's damp face and his long black hair all messed up and sticking to his forehead and cheeks, whimpers leaving his plump lips each time he breathed... sungchan can only imagine how much money he helped wonbin make that day, how rich this slut might be now, he thinks. it keeps sungchan up at night, the thought of his friend using the money HE gave him by roughing him up on his live, shouldn't he be thankful? once again, sungchan sits up on his bed and rubs his tense thighs with his palms, he ignores how the tent in his sweatpants twitches at the simple touch. he needs to get off so badly. is wonbin touching himself on the other side of the wall? is he thinking about their last encounter? it's making sungchan dizzy.
wonbin peaks out of his room carefully. he checks both sides of the corridor. there's no sight of his roommate, and he lets out the breath he was holding. he can start his day without having the strange feeling of his friend's eyes burning holes into his back. wonbin feels awkward around him now, but he doesn't know why. is he shy? or is he aroused? it gets worse when sungchan comes back from the gym and lays his eyes on him. their usual lively cohabitation turned into both of them living in their rooms and avoiding each other. wonbin believes it's for the exact same reasons. but what reasons? he doesn't know the answer.
wonbin gets out of the shower with only his towel wrapped messily around his waist, music plays from his phone and he hums the song while getting ready. he's immersed in his routine, in every moves he does mechanically everyday. until there's on his path an object that's not supposed to be here and stops his progression. his heart does a backflip in his ribcage and he puts a hand on his chest to slow the nervous beating when he looks up at sungchan. his roommate doesn't seem bothered, his eyes stare at wonbin's wet hair and the droplets of water that fall down the column of his throat. his eyes travel his friend's slim chest and waist, only looking up when wonbin takes a step back.
"wonbin."
"that's me... you good..?"
"i think we should talk."
"can i get dressed before that or- uh nevermind i'll be back in a minute..."
wonbin feels so stupid, what could he be implying with these words? blood rushes to his face while he puts on his black hoodie. he caught sungchan's gaze looking at his body and it only tightens the feeling in his stomach. whatever his friend wants to talk about, he needs to be fast so wonbin can get out of the apartment and start breathing slowly again.
sungchan sits on their couch. it's been a while since he even went into their living room. they used to spend hours there watching movies, and now he's about to talk about sex with his roommate, sex that implies the both of them. sungchan isn't nervous at all, but warmth still creeps up his spine. could it be the sight of wonbin fresh out of the shower that got him feeling all flushed? nah, it can't be. all he knows is that he has a good idea, and wonbin owes him a lot anyway.
wonbin walks inside the living room and brushes his damp black strands out of his face. he stays standing when sungchan turns to him. and then, silence. a long silence, wonbin prays he would hear sungchan's words in his head so they both don't need to speak and he can run away.
"so... what did you want to talk about?"
"how much money did you make last week?
"what?"
what a weird question. wonbin furrows his brows and looks into sungchan's eyes. he acts clueless but he knows what kind of money his friend is talking about.
"the website. how much did you make?"
"that's none of your business i think..."
"well it is. i believe your viewers remember how much you begged me to let you cum while looking like a pathetic whore. all because of me isn't it? how is it to make money off my help?"
wonbin's faint blush reaches his ears and covers the back of his neck, turning the faint freckles in a slight pink canvas. he looks away and sungchan gets up. wonbin swallows with difficulty.
"answer me."
"w-well i make a lot okay?"
"never as much as that day right?"
"...what do you want..?"
sungchan gets one step closer and wonbin looks up to meet his eyes. he always felt safe with his friend, but right now he feels really small. sungchan is big, broad shoulders and strong arms, wonbin winces when his roommate rests his large hand on his shoulder.
"i had an idea. we could both make money, and feel good. and we're friends right? we should work together again."
"i'm not... that sure-"
"you owe me this don't you? i've made you famous. so do something for me."
silence again.
"i'm listening..."
"we'll do a live together again. and do more than that stupid foreplay like last time. and boom, money and pleasure for the both of us. but let's strictly keep it as friends helping each others out."
of course, money and pleasure as friends. wonbin just nods, and sungchan flashes a smile. suddenly wonbin sees again his bubbly friend, but the glint in his eyes is different. it's darker, and it's hungry. he doesn't know if he's really excited to find out what that tingle means, but his body speaks for him. wonbin feels the foreign warmth bubble in his stomach again. with a last look at sungchan, he grabs his bag and walks out of the apartment. he's never been more eager to drown himself in his commercial and industry books.
sungchan paces around his room. he's getting excited, the idea of being in front of the camera again makes his heart beat loudly in his ears. the fact that he will be doing it with wonbin again also heightens his excitement. it's almost 9, night has fallen outside, sungchan's room now being only illuminated by the screen of his gaming computer. wonbin is supposed to knock at his door any minute to tell him he's ready. but wonbin is everything but ready, he sits cross legged on his bed and zones out looking at his pc. the website is opened with his channel, he wrote a message a few hours ago saying he'll be doing a special live and not alone. this is the first time he's ever been this nervous before a live. but cumming a few times and making money can't be that bad honestly, and it's not like sungchan and him aren't... friends... after all.
wonbin softly knocks on sungchan's door and his tall friend appears. he walks out of his room and grabs his wrist, guiding him back into wonbin's room. the place is comfortably dimmed, his bed is well made unlike the usual, and the camera is ready to be started on the screen. sungchan doesn't speak but he takes off his black tank top, and wonbin sits on his bed. what is he supposed to do now, start the live and wait? usually, he likes to talk with his chat and do a few of his viewers' requests. but since there's no one guiding him, should he get started by himself? and how to even include sungchan in all of this?
_parkw0nbin is live with jvngsvngch4n!
his roommate doesn't waste time. sungchan turns on the live and walks up to wonbin, he sits down next to him. wonbin avoids his eyes and plays with the strings of his hoodie.
"are you not gonna do shit now that we're here?"
wonbin opens his mouth to reply but he's cut by the sudden press of sungchan's lips against his. his friend grabs the back of his neck and pulls on his hair, forcing his head up as he roughly captures his mouth. strong fingers tug at wonbin's black strands, and teeth bite his lower lip, making him whine. sungchan takes this opportunity to slide his tongue inside and deepen their exchange. they're both getting breathless, wonbin holds both of sungchan's wrists as he whimpers in his roommate's mouth, he needs to take a breath but each time they part he's met with sungchan's plush lips again. when finally his friend lets go of him, wonbin takes a deep breath and licks his lips, cutting the strand of saliva that kept them connected.
comments flow on the live, the infamous tingle of the money dropping brings wonbin back to reality. he checks out of few anonymous comments, from his usual viewers to new people, and they all seem to mention one thing : sungchan. how wide his back is, how toned his chest is, and how strong his arms seem.
anonymous user gave you tip : why is wonbin fully clothed
anonymous user gave you a tip : i think we're about to see crazy stuff
wonbin watches sungchan through the live on the screen. he's getting too embarrassed to turn around and face him. his friend is sat at the edge of the bed, his hand already inside his black boxers as he looks right into the camera, right into his eyes through the pc. wonbin feels his face burn and his stomach churn again with a warm feeling. he slowly takes his hoodie off and stays in his grey sweatpants, the waistband of his underwear clinging low on his hips. his own cock is starting to harden at the familiar noise of money on his stream and his favorite nicknames thrown into the chat.
he finally walks back to sungchan. his roommate has been waiting for him eagerly, the bulge in his underwear strains the fabric. he pulls it down to reveal his hardened length and rests on his palms on the bed, legs parted in a silent invitation. wonbin knows. he knows what he wants and it makes him burn inside. he looks at the screen and drops to his knees without a word. sungchan's hand grips his hair, making him look up from his kneeling position.
"you're such a good slut aren't you... eager to please your chat hm? go on, use me to make them happy."
anonymous user gave you a tip : finally seeing wonbin's pretty lips to good use!
use him? sungchan is the one using wonbin. he looks down at his friend's cock begging for attention and carefully wraps an hand around it. it's bigger than his, warm and throbbing in his palm, tip already dripping with heavy beads of precum. he gives a tentative lick and he hears sungchan groaning at the feeling. the grip on his hair gets tighter, his face gets shoved closer to his roommate's pelvis. wonbin stops taking his time and parts his plump lips, dark pink from the intense making out. sungchan holds him into place before he can even get his tongue out and he grips his dick, tapping this tip a few times on wonbin's lips. one more tug on the long black hair in his hand and finally he feels a warm mouth enveloping his painful erection, he closes his eyes only to open them right after so he can watch wonbin.
his roommate slowly swirls his tongue around the head of his cock and suck on his slit like he's been giving blowjobs his whole life. he keeps gagging and he feels his jaw locking from the intrusion in his mouth yet he doesn't stop. he tries bobbing his head and take more of sungchan but the tip hits the roof of his mouth and he needs to take a break to cough. his eyes are slightly teary, a strand of precum still connects him to his roommate's dick. sungchan is looking at him with a satisfied grin, and he uses his hand in wonbin's hair to make him look at the camera. wonbin's chest heaves rapidly, his lips are swollen and damp with his friend's arousal, his own cock jumps into his sweats when his hair gets tugged on a little more. he's already such a beautiful mess.
sungchan is impatient to feel the addictive pleasure of wonbin's mouth again and he yanks him back in place, he forces his head down on his length and watches him take as much as he can in his mouth. sungchan throws his head back in bliss, his hips twitch when wonbin starts moving up and down again. the wet noise of saliva covering his skin and the slight gagging sound make him dizzy, his orgasm starts clawing at his lower stomach. wonbin stops again to catch his breath and sungchan's eyes snap open.
"did i tell you to stop?"
rough hands grab wonbin's face and he pushes his tip inside his mouth, sungchan thrusts his hips up into the warmth. the way he can see his roommate's eyes roll back from behind his messy black hair sends jolts of pleasure through his veins like liquid fire. his lips are parted to let every low moans out, he hisses as the feeling of his climax gets closer again. tears flows from wonbin's eyes and he gives up on doing his job, he lets sungchan take care of himself with his mouth. drool spills from his lips and down his chin, droplets hit his right hand that furiously fist his own cock at the same pace as sungchan's hips.
sungchan's thrusts get more messy and he suddenly pulls wonbin's face away right as the first rope of cum erupts from his slit. he holds his roommate by the jaw and quickly jerks himself off through his orgasm, painting him in hot jets of pearly fluid. it sticks to wonbin's cheeks, it drips from his parted lips and down the corner of his mouth. his breath is ragged as he squeezes his dick in his hand to stop himself from cumming on the spot. sungchan rubs his sensitive tip on wonbin's face and looks at the messy canvas he just painted. his thumb wipes his friend's cheek and pushes it into his mouth, he watches as wonbin suck every drop of his release that covered it.
behind them, money never stopped dropping, way over sungchan's initial hopes, comments fly so fast on the screen and the number of viewers keeps increasing. it gets crazier when sungchan holds wonbin's hair and makes him stand up for the camera, showing his cum stained face and his leaking cock dangling between his legs, ready to burst at any second. sungchan keeps his roommate standing as he wraps his large hand around his hard length, his pace is relentless, each stroke made to push him over the edge.
wonbin squirms around, his legs are weak and wobbly. the roughness of sungchan's hand on his sensitive cock makes him dizzy. his head fall forward when his roommate lets go of his hair, but soon enough sungchan's free hand wraps around his throat, holding him up. he doesn't squeeze or block his airflow, he just holds him in place until wonbin's back rests against his friend's warm chest.
"tell them wonbin. how dirty and messy you are."
"i-i'm dirty... a m-mess i'm a mess- fuck please..."
fingers get shove down his throat and wonbin's eyes roll back again, he drools over sungchan's hand as he spills a thick load on the floor. the warm hands get away from him and he slowly drops to his knees, ragged breaths coming from his parted lips. stars dances in front of his eyes from the strength of his orgasm, pleasure still sends shivers down his spine. he pushes his fingers into his hair to get them out of the way and wipes his face with the back of his hand. cum already dried on his cheeks, and he rubs his skin to get rid of it.
anonymous user gave you a tip : that's some crazy content
anonymous user gave you a tip : share more plsssss
anonymous user gave you a tip : is he done with wonbin already?
wonbin reads through the comments with hooded eyes, he stands up and looks at the screen. he's about to turn off the live.
"do you think we're done?"
sungchan grabs his wrist and tears him away from his computer.
"get on the bed. it's not over yet."
wonbin squeaks at the strength sungchan used, he is carelessly thrown on the bed. he looks up at his roommate towering him, his large frame hides the screen and the camera from him, his cock is starting to harden again just from seeing wonbin's hazy eyes. sungchan grips wonbin's shoulders and attacks his neck, he sinks his teeth into the soft skin and sucks on it like a starved man. wonbin's hands claw at his messy sweatpants, he's able to hold his whines until sungchan's tongue laps at his nipple. he arches into his friend's touch, the feeling of warm lips tugging on the sensitive pink bud makes him moan a little too loud. his other nipple is rolled between sungchan's rough fingers, he pinches it a little harder earning a squeak from wonbin.
sungchan admires his work, faint red spots covering his dark haired friend's chest and neck, nipples hard and perking up. wonbin is fully hard again from sungchan's ministrations, he still feel so sensitive. but his roommate is careless, he wraps a large hand around his length and squeezes his tip, wonbin catches his wrist in an attempt to stop the painful pleasure that makes his whole body shiver suddenly. sungchan crawls closer to him and he guides his own throbbing dick with his hand until it pokes wonbin's stomach. when wonbin looks down, he watches his roommate grip both their cocks in his palm, his hips twitch forward at their sensitive skins rubbing together.
jerking off together turns out to be sungchan's new favorite source of pleasure. he can't stop himself from grinding into his fist, he rubs the head of his cock against wonbin's sensitive erection. him neither can't control himself, he keeps withdrawing his dick out of the tight grip but the sensations have his hips thrusting back into it. precum covers sungchan's fingers and drips down both their lengths, each move of his hand mingles their arousals together in a wet noise. wonbin's eyes are focus on their cocks sliding in and out of sungchan's warm hand, every part of his body screams at him to fuck his hips faster into his friend's palm. the grip tightens a little and their tips are pressed together, slits rubbing over each other's and they both moan, a low sound from sungchan and a more high pitched whine from wonbin.
sungchan finds the strength through the dizzying pleasure to add strokes to their already wet mess, wonbin humps his hand faster with his eyes shut. his roommate's free hand ends into his black hair again, tugging his face up to meet his eyes. the roughness and the burning in his stomach have wonbin shudder in pleasure, cum splatters on sungchan's fingers and add stickiness and warmth to his grip. he thrusts up one more time, the last rope of fluid dripping down his length, but sungchan doesn't stop yet. wonbin wiggles around, tears form in his eyes but he's held in place by the strong hand who squeezes every bit of his orgasm out of him. sungchan gets up on his knees a little more and slams his hips into his fist, chasing his own impending release. the head of his cock hits repeatedly wonbin's, it glides easily with the amount of arousal that drips onto the bed.
wonbin is a mess, he can't catch his breath. his hands claw at sungchan's wrist, his shoulders are shaken with sobs yet he can't stop looking at his roommate fucking his hand. each thrust sends overwhelming pleasure to his veins, he's dizzy, his thighs shake, the skin of his dick is red and burning from the stimulation. each drag of sungchan's cock on his own has his eyes rolling back into his head, lips parted in choked breaths. the sound of money that drops into his inbox on the screen is long forgotten, only focused on the groans escaping his roommate's lips. sungchan gets bolder with each messy thrust, he's so close, just a little more...
wonbin cums again, his mouth opening in a silent moan before he coughs to get the breath that got stuck into his throat out. he cums so little yet his orgasm sends him an electric shock through his whole body, his cock twitches with each wave of pleasure. the sight pushes sungchan over the edge, he finally releases wonbin's poor cock to jerk off properly. his much heavier load hits wonbin's stomach in warm and pearly ropes, he strokes himself until the last droplet beads at his slit. for a long moment, the room resonates only with their heavy breathing and the chat losing its mind on the screen. wonbin lays on his side after the intensity of his climax, his stomach painted and dripping on the sheets. his chest heaves harshly and each breath burns his throat.
sungchan's parted lips are swollen from biting it, his breaths are slower but they strain his lungs. he gets up from the bed and rest his hands on the desk. he looks at the screen, he checks the money, he checks the viewers count, and he's more than satisfied. the live is cut abruptly before he walks back to wonbin. half lidded eyes through messy black strands look up at him, and wonbin manages to sit up on his bed. he wipes away the cum on his skin with his hand and he looks away. is it done? did they do well? all he knows is that he really needs to sleep and sleep well. his poor dick is so sensitive it sends him jolts of warmth each time he tries to move.
"so... how d-did it go..?"
"we've made much more than i ever imagined."
wonbin nods, his mind still foggy from his intense release. sungchan picks up his clothes and puts on his shorts, he hands wonbin his black hoodie.
"not so bad wasn't it? pleasure and money. that makes us great friends. right?"
wonbin hums as answer. friends. amazing friends. sungchan ruffles his already messed up hair before he walks out of his room. wonbin lays on his bed but he's not able to form a single thought, all he thinks about is the feeling of sungchan's hand around his throat.
he's not surprised to find his very good friend's tongue down his throat while they make out in the shower after avoiding each others for a few days. he's not surprised either to feel addicted to the feeling of his cock in his mouth. people always tell them they share such a great friendship, they care about each others so much. great friends are meant to help each other's out, right? right?????
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#joker out#kris guštin#kris gustin#jo:g#mine#what cracks me up is that lil tv program really said we only care about royal couple over here#so let us take a cool shot of miha's kid doing his thing being a princess and then let us#include a weirdly angled shot of bojan on stage taking money from some guy#they truly said babes we know u r going to esc but be so fucking for real rn u only have one (1) nepobaby on your side and#some unwashed dude in a burlap (sack) shirt she picked up on the street#and three men who don't talk much one of them is new so we are not even including him in the frame#i live love laugh
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i’m not crazy abt youtubers but like the 1 person that i just SEE & UNDERSTAND like 🤝 is drew gooden & its for the sole reason that he will Always find a way to feature runescape in a video, be it explicitly talking about osrs or slipping in a song from the soundtrack as background music
#runescape#stream#like ALSKALSKALKSLKSLAKALAJSLA#it’s soooo fucking FUNNY to ME bc ONTY OTHER DWEEBS LIKE ME WILL PICK UP ON IT IMMEDIATE#like i saw the fucking whatever video like ‘why does everything waste ur time now’ last night & i heard it come in it was like newcomers#melody or one of the ones from the falador area specifically like maybe more north east towards varrock but i Clocked It#like i haven’t actually played runescape w the sound on in girl idk YEARS like probably around rs3 / eoc release bc they made changes to the#old songs & i HATED it & i STILL DO but i loveeeeeee osrs#osrs <333333#‘i had to quit runescape’ so where did u get the video of u playing runescape in ur new house#BC U NEVER QUIT RUNESCAPE#still thinking abt brent from teahouse that literally brought in his lab top & would actively play on the clock#girl we were a bubble tea shop w 0 downtime but king was still going#i still see him log on sometimes it’s so fucking funny#he was also the 1 that told me that DI (DAVID) WANG IN HOUSTON TEXAS HE LIVES IN SUGARLAND FIRED ME & he was too much of a PUSSY to do it#HIMSELF or even TELL ME like he tried to shake my hand when i picked up my last paycheque like girl u were fully skimming me & i had to yell#at u to fucking get me my money like i hope he’s DEAD OR DYING !!!!!!!! FUCK U !!!!!!!!!!!!!!#all i know is he’s a landlord#he DEFINITEYL don’t got teahouse anymore 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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Ruined one of my favourite songs by listening to “All I need” whilst they lifted the cakets’s top off so we could view my uncle one last time (he passed a month ago, so they didnt prepare an open casket funeral ) and he unfortunately has already started decomposing. I can’t get the image of it out of my head despite being able to handle gratious gore all my life. It’s like a haunting image in my head. Bonus point that the end part of “All I need” was playing when they took the lid off so now anytime I hear it on TikTok the sight haunts me.
#to be clear I only listened to music because I cannot regulate mt emotions correctly due to bpd and didnt wanna make the funeral abt me#collapsing from crying#so I had my earbud in one ear only so I could still hear#I’m starting to look more up to Luigi Mangione#I lost my uncle due to medical neglect#he was a type 1 diabetic and he had been preciously almost killed in the a hospital a month prior to his death#he was also my only family member who also suffered with bpd#and I felt like he was the only one who could get me#he suffered all his life and had a terrible death#grief is just such a funny thing#but also his death made me never ever want to commit suicide#bc of bpd I always deal with suicidal ideation but seeing myy grandma sobbing so hard she is almost falling over hugging the picture of my#uncle so tightly#I could never let my mother go through this#I hate death and the hubgarian healthcare system#and how much money it costs to be able to fucking live with diabetes#sorry for venting my gf also broke up with me tow days before the funeral😋👍#cw:gore
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"I know why you want to return to our world, Meggie! You just miss your boyfriend! But we haven't seen everything of this beautiful world yet!" Mr Mortimer sir your wife was enslaved for working as a scribe disguised as a man. In this world women are punished for learning their fathers' craft and your thirteen years old daughter would be already married if she was born in this world. I know the books are very pretty but Mo your wife is pregnant. I don't think they have c-sections here :(
#liveshrimping#I've been thinking about like. hypothetically of course I'm not going to write that but I've been thinking about a kpop fangirl#writing her self-insert RPF and reading herself into it#becoming a cleaning lady or a make-up artist for her favourite group and getting involved in a fiery romance with her fave#and then seeing all sorts of Consequences. getting found out + her boy's reputation fucking down the stairs + she's a teenager and#aside from being a MUA/cleaning lady she doesn't have any other skills that could guarantee her a good living and because of the stress#she can't write anything to make the situation better... eventually she starts to wonder if it wouldn't be better to go back to her world#but 1. the time still passes. it's been months since she disappeared from her world. she doesn't want to deal with all that#but 2. she misses her family and friends and her nice and familiar life. but 3. if she goes back she will not be loved by her bias anymore#she will return to being someone he doesn't know. doesn't even know she exists. she can't afford fanmeetings so her best hope for#being noticed by him is to send many messages during his lives so that he at least sees her username in the rapidly moving live chat#AND SO ON. i have no idea how something like that would've even ended. she would have to essentially write all that happened out of#existence. 'and then X woke up and it was all just a dream. a dream that he was already forgetting but for some reason it left him with a#faint distaste for romantic relationships'#BUT SHE REMEMBERS WHAT HIS LIPS TASTED LIKE. SHE REMEMBERS HOW HAPPY SHE FELT IN HIS ARMS.#&c.‚ &c.#this stupid little thing changed not only her -- it gave her a nice phobia of romantic relationships because her first only and most intens#relationship pretty much ruined a guy's career and life -- but also her boyfriend in that other world probably. hell can she even look at#her albums and enjoy the music now that she's back? but this group was like 75% of her mental stability.#AND ALSO: now she feels like she must fix things somehow. apologize to X for ruining his life in this other world he doesn't know#so what if she writes about their albums breaking records of sales. so what if she writes about fashion designers and musicians becoming#obsessed with the group's members and wanting to collab with them -- it's just a little bit more of fame and money. they deserve that!#what can go wrong.
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got a random bug up my butt to literally pack over half of everything and move it all to the other house in one go 💀 i’m tired af now but WORTH IT
#also ppl keep asking me why rent a house why not an apartment with a roommate#to save money#LOL#IS SAVING MONEY WORTH MY SANITY AND PEACE????#NO#i have 1 pathetic little mortal life on this planet and i’m gonna fuckin live it how i want#i will gladly pay extra to never have to live with a roommate ever again#my misophonia is so bad that i’d probably end up killing them anyway#lmaooooooo#kidding#maybe#🙂#apple babble 🍎#non fandom#i also just have so much roommate trauma it’s not even funny like#people are NOT reliable at all especially when it comes to cleaning and rent#also i don’t want them bringing over their nasty ass fbds and shit ????????#ain’t no fucking way#my house and my house only#MINE#b e g o n e#OMG BUT SPEAKING OF#the front of my place has the cutest little space for a patio set and holiday decorations 🥺🥺🥺#and i can actually put everything out without worrying bc it’s gated so no one can steal it!!!!
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if i might bitch about work for a second: yesterday was hellishly bad despite being able to keep up with it and i found out that apparently our department made 4600 dollars yesterday which is making me angry beyond belieffffffff
#this is math i do fairly often bc i enjoy ho-hum math and hate my job and like#even if we took off 2000 bucks for overhead costs which feels excessive but i will concede it#that would be enough to pay everyone working a little over 860 dollars which is 300 more than what i make in a WEEK#literally WHEREEEEE IS IT WHERE IS IT GOING WHERE IS IT#i dont like following this logic through because on days where there are fewer orders we;d do less#and i disagree with gig work's implementation as ive seen it and i think that would stress people out worse than we already are#(which is significantly)#but at the same time. 850 dollars. i cant afford to buy groceries this week. 850 dollars...#can i get a BONUS or SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#it makes me soooo angry i was talking to one of the deli guys who asked for a raise and got denied mid-question#before our director accidentally showed him that their department is four thousand of gods own dollars under labor#its so revolting to me i talk to so many people in this store who are terrified because of medical bills or rent or car shit#half my department works two jobs just to get by and ALL OF THEM drive junkers#honestly one of the things thats scaring me about if i actually move out is that i do rely on...living with my mom#i pay for most of my own food i pay an absurd amount of rent to share a room with her but she's willing to drive me to work#even though i've offered to walk multiple times and she REALLY should prioritize her own time more#but at the same time...not having to pay for rides has been carrying me hard#if i got a car i'd be fucked because those things bleed money and generally ethically i disagree with cars#but if i dont its like okay pony up the money learn to navigate buses (except for sunday when they dont run) or get ready#to walk to your job where you walk all day and then walk home in the dark#which. i love walking. and listening to music on my own while walking. so bad example. but i also love not having my feet hurt#all the time always no matter what im doing which is something im becoming increasingly unfamiliar with#its like. ultimately. something's gonna get fucked no matter what#and then i hear a figure like 4600 and i remember how avoidable all of this shit is. how avoidable it is for ANY of us#our ceo is gonna walk away from this merger attempt with 5 billion dollars in safety-cushion money#the 10 top execs beneath him with 1 billion#and its just so. what can you even do. 5 billion. can a number like that even mean anything? how could you possibly need that much#850 dollars would be a lifechanging amount of money for me right now and im not even one of the worst off#its just. god. this world could be anything but what it is but its this and for what
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#it actually makes me sick like physically ill how much praise is heaped onto goyishe american leftists#people who could not point to gaza on a map six months ago. whose knowledge of middle east history comes from outdated textbooks and twitte#for being anti imperial activists and well educated anti imperialists with all the right buzzwords and all the right opinions#meanwhile nothing i say will ever be good enough bc i'm jewish and palestinians are tokenized by people who care more about appearing#like someone who Listens to Palestinians as opposed to 1) doing anything material to help them (like donating money)#and 2) not spreading obvious misinformation. something that does material damage to the cause of liberation#AND further fuels the most insidious of zionist propaganda which relies on the antisemitism of ignorant western goys#this propaganda banks on their antisemitism bc it's that fucking reliable#every white western goy that harasses jews or spreads misinfo about jews or is straight up just racist towards random israeli immigrants#ppl living in the west like running coffee shops that are now having their windows smashed bc that what? supports palestinian liberation?#makes it that much easier for actual zionist propagandists to say 'see. this was never about imperialism. they want an excuse to harm you.'#'you are only safe with us'#i grew up in a cauldron of this kind of propaganda and i was playing on hard mode i got it from the orthodox#it took years of dutiful unlearning. of wrestling with some really difficult realities. of realizing that i'd been not only lied to#but information had been deliberately kept from me to keep me from knowing the true depths of the horror happening in gaza#i did not get the luxury of starting to care about this six months ago during a concerted effort to correct the record#i had to put in the effort to unlearn two decades of propaganda given to me so young i don't remember a time when i didn't know it#and i am by far not the only jew with this experience#i have put in way more effort to care about this than every white western goy with a megaphone posting palestinian flags on IG#but none of that matters bc i am a jew and for the last 5000+ years we don't get to decide how we're discussed or how we're remembered#never mind how many jewish voices (and yes! even israeli voices!) have been supporting liberation efforts in palestine for years.#who've done an amazing job reaching more people who need help seeing through the propaganda they were raised on#i can only be a token who speaks only in protest chants or i can be an evil zionist. the anti imperial work doesn't matter.#bc anti imperial work is hard and none of them actually want to do it they just want the protest photos#anyway this is why i don't discuss this on the piss on the poor website. tbh i don't trust y'all
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#sorry to vent post yet again the pms is pms-ing. i am ultimately in the end ok and this too shall pass etc#cw pet death#UNNA IS FINE no worries#i just. i just really miss Pulmu. my baby my sweet old lady. jesus fucking christ#i just. idk i still hold a lot of regret over her last months. i loved her so much I DID but no amount of love#and money and guilt and open mouth sobbing could make her not Old and Sick.#i just refused to see that because i wanted her to be alright so badly#i feel so bad about letting my feelings go over her comfort. i'm so sorry baby i shouldnt have hung on to you as long as i did#of i could change one thing about the whole of world's history it would be that. so you wouldnt have to die scared in a hospital#but i cant do that. i just have to live with the memory#usually i try not to be too hard on myself about it. first of all because beating myself up about it doesnt change anything#and also because i recognize that i was profoundly mentally ill about the whole thing. (not joking)#like i genuinely dont think i have ever felt and been worse than i did when Pulmu was old and sick. i wasnt thinking clearly.#i should have been but i wasnt.#it has been 1 year and about 8 months since her passing and still sometimes i dont know what the hell to do with all that grief#some days i'm completely fine and i can talk about her without problems. and some days i sob into my pillow feeling like i just got shot#ah well. nothing to it but to keep on trucking#i hope she's fine wherever she is.
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also its so dumb that one of the arguments ppl have against a sims 5 is that theyve already invested too much money into 4. like yes its fucking scummy that ea charges so much for dlc and its Ludicrous the amt sims 4 costs if you have all the dlc and its going to keep getting more and more expensive but . to be honest . why are you paying for sims packs. im sry
#ik not everyone can pirate i get it and its your money do what you want#but itis your choice to invest so much into like. a sinking ship DJRNFJFNG. idk....#i want 2 be optimistic and believe that somehow they WILL be able to fix every single issue with ts4#but i honestly believe thats require them to take an extended break from releasing new packs and shit#and i genuinely honestly dont think theyll do that. lol.#but like. i think itd be a good idea like. Cut down on new releases and focus on fixing the base game and then pack refreshes#bc itd be rly cool to have like. pack refreshes to make them more fleshed out#but also like. sigh. it rly does come down to the packs bc i judt genuinely find it kind of disgusting how little is in each pack#and how many of the packs could be consolidated#genuinely earnestly feel like growing together and parenthood shouldve been one pack. like. and honestly throw hsy in there...#hsy could do with a refresh Badd ik its fairly new but oh my god the school is so fucking buggy#and in general like. IDK. id rly love the packs to be refreshed and id love love love More fucking lots in the worlds oh my god. multiple#worlds have literally 4 lots. Thats fucking actually insane it makes me crazy#i get like. ooh bc you can travel between worlds the worlds can be smaller but i hate it 😭😭😭#i think its just bc i grew up playing 3 perhaps but like. i rly loved like. idk when i choose to play in a sims world i want to play in tha#world. i dont want to have to like. i live in moonwood mills (5 lots .) and thej i have to go to like. san myshunonif i want to go to a bar#or whatever. is there a bar in san myshuno idr#IDKIDK. i feel like Innnn my opinion there should be like. at least 1 of the basegame lot types for every world maybe with some exceptions#and there should be enough empty slots ppl can fill it out more if they want...#but also like. idk. i suppose it wouldnt affect me much bc i usually stay on my home lot as much as possible#bc of the loading screens#it wouldnt be so bad if like. idk. i understand why they didnt wanna do open world like ts3#well i dont its fucking actually stupid. but i get that ts4 wasnt supposed to be what it is and it wasnt built to be a longrunning game.#hence why ts5 should happen instead as a Strong Foundation BUT WHATEVER but like. yk. and ik im not the only person in the world and other#ppl want different but i feel like maybe you could have options .. idk. im not a programmer#but itd be cool to have some sort of way to toggle between like. open world semi open world and closed world#where itd be like. ts3 style where the exteriors of everything r there but the interiors r loaded in when u visit (if that is how ts3 works#i may be a bit off) nd closed would be ts4 style Loading screen to go . next door#am i misremembering or are there even loading screens between like. the new apartments with forrent.... there were for the city living ones#skull Fuckk i ran out of space
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Bleh.
#I'm at a crisis point in my life where I know I'm unhappy and want to make serious changes to counter it#But it all feels so fucking deadended and lined with logistical nightmares#Like it's obvious what I want friends/new experiences/travel but what's not obvious is how to get the money to do any of it#Absolutely no one wants to hire me I've been sending out applications nonstop for years#And I just get ignored!#And I don't know how much of that is my fault!#It's not like I can just stroll up and say yes 1 well paying job pls#The other option is to liquidate all my assets and live hard for a year or two#But that would also mean being homeless ig#Trying to live via my creative outlets doesn't seem like an option either no one wants anything I make#And I'm so fucking dead inside I can't create much anyway#You gotta live by the grind!!! What grind#There is no grind I am lying on the floor
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hmmmmmm.................vent post under tags...... feel free to give advice or dont¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#i think this is an autism related thing#but i genuinely feel like i wasnt made right for the world we live in#like something is just missing from me that ive never seen ppl talk about#and i know this is going to sound entitled and privileged and i KNOW i know i promise and im so lucky i can even be thinking about this but#it feels weird to have the privilege to be scared#this is specifically in regards to working#like having a job. like going to work#i feel like im missing an extremely important part of my brain or my BEING that is capable ot going through the motions of participating#in society. i never felt that switch of wanting to get a job in high school to make money for myself and get that experience#i feel like there's something i MISSED where everyone took a class on how to apply and go to interviews and write resumes and not be scared#like i NEED to be walked through every SINGLE step because i dont know HOW#and i see my peers and the literal entire world around me participating in this atmosphere and i dont know where to start#im fucking twenty three years old and ive only ever been an intern and an assistant#not even a full year of working#i cant drive and i probably wont ever because thats a whole other can of worms#and that means i have to rely on other people to even get to wherever it was i needed to go#i feel like a fucking child because im missing this knowledge that everyone else seems to have#ive tried i really have but none of it seems simple and its all so much and there arent steps to follow#i mean there ARE but its like 1) look up job 2) apply 3) interview 4) yay you're employed#and im talking about each micro step inbetween#what am i missing#and then theres the fucking demand avoidance that slaps me across the face whenever my mom brings it up to me like i KNOW youre being#supportive and encouraging and its not your fault my brain turns off and decides im full of shame bc i cant CONFRONT ANYTHING#jesus christ#manf i know u can see this maybe dont bring it up to mom i can do that on my own maybe#i WANT to help i just want to help at my own pace but unfortunately the world isnt built around individual paces and nothing revolves#around me. i know this#i want to help my mom i want her to never be stressed about money and to retire and never work or help me pay my student loans but i#genuinely feel like theres a switch that never turned on in my head and im being left behind and i genuinely dont know how to. like be alive
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I'm lightly stoned and in the mood to make kuchen. This is dangerous
#text post#we do not have everything for it and supplies are Expensive and I'm not a master maker of this particular good so#the idea of spending the money and fucking it up makes my skin crawl#but also. cinnamon kuchen. or blueberry. rhubarb is p good. a company in ND makes chocolate chip and i might kill for that one#or my grandma or great grandmas in any flavour even plain#(the latter of which i had exactly 1 time as a kid. great gma didn't bake much after that and im so glad i was around for that one)#i forgot where i was going with the tags anyway if u live in an area where u can buy#go support ur local bakers at whatever festivals/etc they sell at and stock your freezer with kuchen#im not even joking I'd do it if we had a spare freezer#food
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I’m just so tired
#I saw this video earlier today and it’s all I can think about now#been trying to find a full time job so hopefully I can move and start living my life#but what’s the point?#I know I won’t be able to afford anything#unless I work 3+ jobs and devote all my time to working#I’m just so fucking tired#it’s beyond just my body and mind being tired#my soul is exhausted#I just feel hopeless cause so many of us are struggling#and then the fucking 1% is living it up with so much money that they don’t know what to fucking do with it all#I saw something that said we are going to have our first TRILLIONAIRE soon#that is a million million…………#how can someone sleep at night knowing they are hoarding so much money and so many people are struggling#so many people can’t afford rent or food or the BASIC necessities#when the 1% are buying multiple houses and yachts and flying to the moon#I’m just so tired#and the sad part is it’s never going to change#those people are always going to hoard the money#our government isn’t going to do jack shit to help#I’m gonna go smoke some weed and hopefully ignore life for a bit#tiktok#shut up rosie
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girl help im going back n forth on whether or not i should send an email to thank the beautiful man fr letting me join the drawing session last week (more info on that entire situation here and here) and letting him know i probably wont be back but appreciate having had the experience either way. great or horrible idea leave a comment or DM to lmk.
#anyway more nuance on the whole situation is this. i am very single and this guy keeps being on my mind but i do not have any read on him#the last contact we had was me makin an ass of myself by going like hehe yeah this was nice everyone was nice ok yall have a nice evenin bye#while my heart was like visibly pounding out of my chest and u could probably see on my face i was internally thinking girl shut UP!!! LEAVE#so im like ok either hes weirded out by me so let me say thx AGAIN now in a composed way AND giving him peace of mind knowing i wont be back#unless?? i was not as awkward as i thought & get reassured i can return any time and then i could still b like thanks! and just Not go#i mean even then he might say it's fine even if he IS uncomfrtable w me just to 1. be nice and 2. make money w a participant locked in yknow#it does NOT help that the line btwn casual and professional was like NOT there btw its him just hosting the event as we all do our art idkkk#anyway if you THINK youve PROBABLY been a lil off is it better to 1. have a do-over and get closure or 2. fuck off forever hoping u never#like EVER run into the dude again and be awkward AGAIN bc well! u live in the same city and are both into art so?? there IS a possibility#I CAN SEE THE PROS AND CONS OF BOTH OPTIONS REALLY#yay for sending email: get a response get some clarity NOW. nay for sending email: girl u met him twice. please. leave the stranger alone <3#the one positive abt me feeling Dumb and Embarrassing is at least every time i think back i heave a Big Ole Sigh. feels nice tbh feels good#sad part is i rediscovered how much i love doing art and want to improve. would love to return it was so cheap.. pleek ill get over my crush
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