#people are so blind
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#so I just need to scream into the void so please bear with me lol#I watched the short clip of Harry with Ellen when she asked him about Fine Line and about how it was supposedly a break up album#and he just answered OK#so ok if that was a break up album and the next album is Harry’s House#Harry’s House full of love pancakes for 2 love of my live keep driving#who could Harry’s House be about if it wasn’t about Olivia#because we know FOR SURE the songs were writte well before the stunt#so#break up album and right after an album about LOVE but not love for his supposedly girlfriend#so who could it be about?#???#people are so blind#that’s the same person who wrote IICF at 19#AT 19#while he was being sold as the womanizer#people must be blind there’s no other explanation#ok#I’m sorry for this#skfjskfjskdfjskfjskfjskfjak
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thinking about this poem by noor hindi today.
(donate to palestine here)
#palestine#free Palestine#at a loss for words really with every new update#please please please i urge you to donate#the palestinian people need our support more than ever right now#i do not understand how so many are blind in the face of this genocide
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ok someone please correct me if i'm wrong but am i weird for thinking those 'audiobooks don't count as reading' posts are ableist as fuck????
#ramble#my first thought was like: how is this even a debate what about blind people. not every book comes in braille but MOST have an audiobook#or dyslexic people#you still enjoyed the book!! you still absorbed it!!! you got EXACTLY the same thing as people who read the words!!!#how does it not count????#i guess you miss out on the 'learning new vocab' you get through seeing the words but also#i don't really do audiobooks but i do a lot of podcasts esp fiction podcasts#and i have ABSOLUTELY picked up new stuff from there that helps with my writing#someone please explain how this is even an argument of COURSE it counts????#idk in my opinion finishing a book means 'i put the words in my brain and i thought about them and i enjoyed a story'#not 'i held a stack of paper in my hands for a bit'#i'm v lucky that i do have time to sit and read. and whenever i commute anywhere it's public transport so i CAN bring a book with me#but if i didn't have the free time or had to drive for hours everywhere i would be STOKED to still get to enjoy books#it's been REALLY bothering me lmao idk why i feel so strongly#for some reason it's giving the same energy as like. being told you can't take a comic or manga from the library bc it's not a 'real' book#of course it's a real book it's a story somebody wrote down#i can see this spiralling into 'if you have a kindle you aren't reading'. you have to sniff the paper. feel the papercuts
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I want more memories like coming home from elementary school.
Hanging out with friends who live nearby, who don't try to act cool and like you shouldn't talk to them
Laughing and doing stupid things for eachother not cause someone's looking
Sharing thoughts and not pretending they're too above to pay attention to me
Not making me feel weird.
Not making me feel invisible.
Having some genuine patience.
Listening instead of waiting until I finish
Not making me feel wrong and ashamed of it
Not making me hate.
I hate to hate.
And some people made me hate them, hate the entire place, hate myself.
How could they?
#rant#elementary school memories#i hate high school#high school sucks#high school anti#fake friends#fake people#vent#dysthymia#anxiety#social anxiety#people are so blind#and its so painful
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I can’t believe I went through all of Season 2 assuming Nina was the stand-in for Crowley when you actually pay attention it’s so CLEAR that she’s Aziraphale. I was tricked by her spiky, sarcastic, cynical outer shell and lulled into a false sense of security by Maggie’s bubbly optimism and wholesome goodness, because on the surface they reflect the ineffable husbands perfectly, in their personalities, their aesthetics, even many of their actions and morals. but not, and this is the real key, when it comes to their “relationship”. but those first impressions really had me damn fooled.
I missed the blatantness of Nina’s “we’re just friends. actually we’re not friends. we barely know each other.” the same thing Aziraphale said in season 1. the way he still struggles to quantify their friendship when Nina asks. Nina’s sarcasm when Crowley asks about rain and awnings because it worked for him (we all know it LMAO). hell, that whole convo the girls have in the rain is so AziraCrow (“I know. I’m not your type” “...You have no idea” hits so much harder the second time, help meeeee.) “Lindsay” maybe being symbolic of Heaven and Aziraphale’s toxic relationship with them and their abuse? (the handwritten text messages in red pen make me think of angry notes on paperwork, anyone else?) because Crowley has never actually cared about what Hell thinks of him, just not getting into trouble (or him or Aziraphale getting hurt). Maggie is always chasing Nina. NINA NEVER GOES IN THE RECORD STORE. Just like Crowley always goes to the bookstore, to Aziraphale, Zira NEVER WENT TO THE FLAT (apart from The Swap but that doesn’t count imo). Crowley has always chased Zira, not the other way around. Always there to rescue him, always going to him for company, always relying on their shared connection, always US. OUR SIDE. All through season one, he comes to Zira every time to work together, never trying to work alongside Hell in any way that isn’t to save their skins or Earth, while Zira hides things from Crowley because he STILL thinks Heaven is ultimately good and will do the right thing if he can just show them. fix it from the inside.
Maggie working up the courage to finally say something, to put herself out there, while Nina is utterly oblivious and then when she does realise Maggie has feelings, becoming standoffish, putting up that barrier, fighting it, denying it, ITS SO CROWLEY AND AZIRAPHALE IN THAT ORDER. the way I was fooled into thinking Nina’s trust issues are Crowley because he does have trust issues ofc he does BUT Crowley has ALWAYS TRUSTED AZIRAPHALE. has always relied on him. has always been hurt when Aziraphale doesn’t immediately reciprocate the way he expects (the holy water request, the bandstand, the “off in the stars” etc). he’s always the one putting himself forward. Aziraphale has always been the one to second guess everything, to fight their connection, their similarities, their friendship. the girls really made me think it was going to be okay when they sat Crowley down, even as my inner sirens were going haywire about Metatron interfering, they were telling Crowley he just needs to open up and it’ll all work out BUT HE’S ALREADY AT THAT POINT. he may not say it, and by gosh is that part of their damn problem, but he’s always SHOWN IT. he’s not Nina who needs time to heal and recover from her broken trust, he’s always been Maggie believing it doesn’t matter, they’ll end up together in the end anyway AND I WALKED RIGHT INTO THE TRAP THAT THIS MEANT THEY WERE GOING TO BE OKAYYYYYYYYYYY
#good omens#good omens spoilers#good omens season 2#good omens 2#GO2#GO2 spoilers#ineffable husbands#not me going to my basically unused sideblog that isn't GO related because I NEED TO YELL THIS SOMEWHERE#I mean outside of the relationship thing there are so many ways#that Nina and Crowley line up and Zira and Maggie#but the girls story isn't about them as people#it's about this relationship the boys are tryna push on them and what that relationship reflects about the boys#anyway I'm on my first rewatch for all the clue I missed#so I imagine I'll only spot more clues to berate myself about as I go#HOW DID I FALL FOR ITTTTTT#I can't believe I was so blind#OFC the Disaster Puppy Lesbian was Crowley#and OFC the Emotionally Abused Tortoise was Aziraphale
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Some "Special" Girls! And the late girls.
Ko-fi | Patreon
#you don't even know how long I've held onto the Zoe one I made her with the quickness#I still haven't seen the Shanghai or New York Special I went in mostly blind on their looks#all the 'Specials' girls did get a redesign from me so the version where their mimicking their render pose is the redesign#though I kept Jess's hair wraps even though I don't love them#I know Native American people DO wrap their hair sometimes but I think it was to cop-out of animating her braids#my art#fashion#ml paris special#emonette#jess#aeon#new york special#fei#shanghai special#socqueline#zoe#socqueline wang#zoe lee#marinette#marinette dupain-cheng#ml art#miraculous ladybug
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crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.
i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.
in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.
i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.
i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.
plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.
the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.
we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.
i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.
a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.
today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.
loved beyond thinking.
#spilled ink#writeblr#personal#please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it#i really try not to write so specifically about it#bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child#i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years#i might delete this. feels big.#the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum#and if u say ur autistic#inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms#please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do#and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort.#but it still feels like...#when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing.#they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly?#and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find#the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go)#and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW."#''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.''#and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic#someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.
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Would do the entire dialogue but drawing Bonnie crying is the bane of my existence! HA
Anyway my reaction to when this entire dialogue was over was just. Hihi.
#in stars and time#isat#pipposketchdump#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat bonnie#isat boniface#also don't they kinda say everything they want Sif to do?#at least on the first half of it.#like#i want to hug you like i do with isa and mira#i want you to talk to me about things specially about your eye#it is my fault that youre half blind now#talk to me. blame me for it. dont just leave it in silence. dont look at it like it means nothing.#in fact#look at me I'm not a child#look at me#but hey I have a hard time reading people#specially kids#so take it with a grain of salt#but I cant look at all that dialogue and not see it like a desperate scream of PLEASE STOP SEEING ME AS A CHILD AND TALK WITH ME ABOUT THAT#I'M HERE. I CAN HEAR YOU.#LOOK. AT. ME.#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers
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for people who want to write jiaoqiu's blindness, here's some research links that i think would be useful for research! :)
a fantastic master post on writing a blind/visually impaired character by mimzy-writing-online, a visually impaired author
a blindness simulator that shows how various forms of blindness can look like
a video of christine ha cooking, a chef who lost her vision. it's posted on her personal channel, where she sometimes posts vlogs about her everyday life as a blind chef
another post by mimzy-writing-online about writing characters with sudden blindness
hope that these links are a good starting off point for people who want to write him! ^^
#blogging.core#honkai star rail#jiaoqiu#i know researching disabilities can be a daunting task so hopefully this makes things less daunting ^^#i'm not blind/visually impaired myself but all of the links ive sent are from blind/visually impaired people#and tbh the 1st masterpost is so well done that you're pretty much good to go#which is why its in bold :)
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these are, he says, the kind of test results we see after a car crash.
#(knocks back a glass of coke like its a shot) i think i developed a personality disorder. anyway -#my art#comics#i have complicated feelings about the interconnection of my mental and physical health#but i am only sharing the parts i feel comfortable with sharing on my own terms. dont ask.#in the politest way. most people reading this simply do not know me enough to know any more than that#so interpret the art as you wish.#image id is in the alt text its always there if you call it undescribed im counting it as a microaggression because im the blind bitch here
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I think it would be so neat if merlin, arthur and the knight in legalized magic (I nearly wrote marriage lmao yeah legal same sex marriage = legal magic what are you gonna do about it ANYWAY) post canonish need to go undercover to a kingdom where it isn’t legal yet and it’s just Merlin just saying shit he said in Camelot and having the same attitude that he used to have. Like (crack no really too much angst) just Merlin saying thing like ‘Oh, no, I’m the farthest thing from an ordinary man :)’, merlin walking right after a wall crumbled down like ‘oh, idk what happened anyway let’s go’, Merlin walking around with barely hidden magical object etc and you have just Arthur and the knight sweating bucket in the background and having a heart attack every 2 hours because ‘oh my god he is so reckless how did I never notice all of this shit shit shit SHIT there is no way’
Bonus point if Lancelot is the only one being chill about the whole thing
#merthur#merlin#arthur pendragon#merlin bbc#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#bbc lancelot#the knights of the round table#it’s what happen when you went from being blissfully unaware to having to deal with someone being an expert with lying in plain sight#isn’t what queer is like after all ? Noticing every part of you that is so obviously queer if you look at it while the allocisstraight are…#well deeply blind to anything who is remotely queer to the people they know#my shit
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hyunjin x everyone he's done a dance challenge with
#hwang hyunjin#hyunjin#stray kids#skz#createskz#bystay#staydaily#a9gifs#*gif#*ccarly#*carly:hyunjin#*hyunjin#if i missed someone i'm sorry these were actually way harder to find than i expected </3#also yes taemin is included twice because 1. it changed my life 2. they're best friends!! 3. they were two different eras#it just makes me so happy to see him being cute n silly w people outside of skz#also the one w ningning i feel like i've done the beautiful people equivalent of staring directly at the sun i'm blind from looking so long
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when a lovely flame dies, smoke gets in your eyes
OR: what were we supposed to take away from episode 4 if not ‘bucky is a war widow’
#masters of the air#mota#motaedit#hbowaredit#bucky egan#john egan#clegan#like it's genuinely a 1:1 parallel and i'm NOT supposed to read bucky in ep4 as a grieving widow???#this kind of also turned into a rumination on how willfully optimistic bucky is that they'll both make it through the war#(he has no other choice. his heart couldn't take another—)#hence the titular smoke getting in his eyes. you understand#he's blinded by love and then by rage. and i adore him#this ended up being more of a video essay than an amv so i hope people enjoy it!!#i had a really good time making it and i'm really proud :')#particularly the sequence of him seeing the bomb in london -> seeing the bomb in germany -> the sunset in algiers#also clearly continuing my mission of making mota amvs to big band / jazz :)))#ANYWAY.#kbsd.amv#kbsd.hbow#40sjukebox
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I hate it when people's first reaction to me saying I'm aroace is "oh but don't you wanna have a partner and kids in the future, won't you be sad without that" Like no bitch I'm gonna be happy living alone in the peace and quiet with my cats and dogs and 1000 books to keep me company and I'm gonna be just as happy and complete as every other person out there if not happier.
#rage post#aroace rage#like yes i can find people attractive#BUT THATS BECAUSE IM NOT BLIND#im probably demiromantic but at the same time romance looks boring so imma just say no#aro#aromantic#aroace#ace#arospec#asexual#acespec#aroace pride#aromantic asexual#ace pride#aro pride#aspec#everyone is valid#but aroace is better
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y'know,,, my old love for him would've gone feral if she saw this. she has always..
ALWAYS
Wanted. To see. Leona Kingscholar. In a. High. Ponytail.
I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO SEE HIM IN A HIGH PONYTAIL AND TRUST ME THERE'S THIS SPECK OF DUST STILL BLOOMING WHEN I SAW THIS FUCKER POP UP
#twisted wonderland#twst#savanaclaw#leona kingscholar#i don't think i spilled or expressed my love for him before but damn 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕#rook and vil blinded me so much you have no idea how people really made a farewell party for leona when pomefiore dropped HWKFJANFKAJFJKQKE
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