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secriden · 18 days ago

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It flays me open to see the way Style is so clearly choosing to love Fadel. The way he does this with eyes wide open, fully seeing and knowing and understanding that Fadel is very much a man with parts at war within himself, who is far from perfect and moreover who will stubbornly cling to his flawed perspectives -- and yet Style chooses and keeps choosing to love Fadel anyway.

And while there is a helplessness to Fadel's love for Style, it is juxtaposed so very beautifully with the way Style's love for Fadel is filled with intention.

It's kind of wonderful how there's nothing idealistic about Style's perception of Fadel. Watch how long Style freezes when Fadel first pulls the gun on Popcorn and Jimmy. Even as they're starting to run away, Style remains petrified, his whole focus fixed on Fadel's hand, on the gun with a (steady, this time) finger on the trigger.

And again, when Fadel threatens to shoot Jimmy, Style's whole body actually jerks in alarm, hands hovering as if he's caught in indecision, before he stands up and tries to physically stay Fadel's hand. Style is acutely aware of the violence that Fadel is capable of and it legitimately terrifies him. Not just because of the physical training that makes Fadel so effortlessly, instinctively lethal, but even more what it says about his metal state and the emotional scars he carries to be able to hurt without thought or care.

It's easy to forget that Style's boldness and defiance in the face of Fadel's threats does not mean that he is unaware or in denial about the deaths which Fadel has orchestrated and been involved with. The choice to keep Popcorn and Jimmy alive is only significant if Style understood that Fadel was fully capable of clinical murder given the justification of being attacked by them.

He's also unflinchingly honest about questioning if Fadel's moral judgement is one that should be trusted. And even more significant is that he calls out how wrong it is that Fadel thinks he has the right to stand as judge and jury at all. It’s kind of wonderful how Style’s love not only doesn’t blind him to Fadel’s faults, it even makes him see the situation more clearly because he so genuinely wants what is best for Fadel.

And we find out this episode that Style is absolutely right to ask those questions!! Fadel has been lied to, used, manipulated; but there's an undeniable aspect of Fadel on some subconscious level choosing to turn a blind eye and trust that Lilly was giving them the 'right' targets in spite of the fact that he knows Lilly isn't a good woman (because we've seen Fadel's fear of her in the way he tries to protect Bison from their 'loving' mother). I remember wondering in episode 1 if the supposedly ethical 'cause' is one which Fadel truly believes in, and I think the fact that he has already tried to leave once tells us that on some level, a quiet voice inside Fadel whispered that there was a falseness at the centre of his crusade.

But the Fadel of right now isn't willing to face this truth just yet. He is still reeling from the discovery of Style and Bison’s double betrayals, still hurting from what he thinks is his unreciprocated love. Right now, Fadel still wants, still needs to feel like he has some control, still needs the wilful self-deception of thinking that his life before Style (without Style) was enough to make him happy. And Fadel would rather pay the price of loneliness (and continuing to hurt someone he knows he still loves) if it means feeling as if the ground he's standing on is solid.

But Fadel has never prepared for someone coming into his life with not only the unwavering determination to look beyond his mask of hostility, but also the ravenous desire and tender care to search and reach for the soft fragility of the light inside his heart. Because as much as Style was challenging and questioning Fadel in this scene, he was also so very clear about the things he sees in Fadel that are worth treasuring. Just look at the gentleness in Style's eyes and the soft way he says "you're pretty decent at your core". The way Style refuses to let Fadel maintain his facade of careless cruelty and clinical detachment to killing, but claims with unshakable certainty that Fadel has never been that self-serving as to kill solely for money.

Style desperately wants Fadel to see the good in himself and to understand and acknowledge that he is so very, very worthy of the adoration Style wants to give him. Can we just pause and take in for a moment: the weight of Style's affection as he presses worshipful kisses to Fadel's injured arm; a silent apology for the hurts already inflicted and wordless promise to care for all of Fadel's injuries in the future.

Style (rock concert; episode 6): "You're doing a lot of second jobs aren't you?" and "Try being someone you want to be."

But Stye's love for Fadel also gives him the courage want better for Fadel. He isn't content to just accept Fadel's life as a hitman; and now that all the secrets are gone, he dares to bluntly ask the questions that he had to hide behind veiled words in episode 6. Style is determined to hold a mirror up to the life Fadel has been living and force Fadel to see the ways it has been eating Fadel up on the inside.

Style is forcing Fadel to face the reality that he does have a choice, that he has options outside of merely surviving this horrible life he feels bound to by fate. (And once again he is right!! Because oh, the harrowing knowledge we, as the audience, now have that it wasn't even fate -- it was the machinations of an evil, scheming, conniving woman who took two grieving and traumatised children and twisted them for her own use! T_T).

But the best part? The part that absolutely fills me with an almost hysterical delight? Style makes it absolutely clear that he isn't asking Fadel to face any of this alone. Because Style understands that Fadel is genuinely terrified -- Style is asking for Fadel to reach for a future together with him beyond this life of a killer, to step off the edge and choose to trust Style again when neither of them know what they'll find at the bottom of that fall.

So Style takes that drop first because what Style does this episode makes me truly feel insane:

He freely calls Fadel faen and owns the unspoken implications of love, commitment, and devotion in that term of address. He promises, over and over that he won't run from Fadel; that his continued presence by Fadel's side is a choice and not a reaction to the gun Style is careful to show he is not intimidated by. He stays unflinchingly honest in everything he does throughout their journey: from his frank desire for Fadel's kiss, to the harrowing vulnerability of his very real fear of death; from the way he obeys Fadel's order to push the car, and also how exhausted he was from the exertion, to the way he stares at the water Fadel is drinking and pointedly says nothing (refuses to ask for any water himself) and then calls out that Fadel offered it to him without prompting.

Style wants Fadel to know that he's seeing everything, that he can hear the silent cries of reluctant care from Fadel's heart, even if Fadel's words are still filled with cold and cruel dismissals, because it makes Style's declarations of love and devotion all the more weighty.

When Style said, "I promise that no matter who you are, I'll still like you" in episode 5, Fadel couldn't trust his words because he didn't have the context of Style already Knowing. But Style has been freed from the shackles of his own lies now; freed to give his promises to Fadel anew with the knowledge that both their secrets have already been stripped bare.

And this time, Style fully respects the boundaries Fadel sets, and acknowledges the storm of anger and hurt in his heart. He isn't demanding for Fadel's forgiveness, nor is he denying that Fadel feels that he deserves recompense.

I remember reading a few takes that Style is simply "restarting" or "continuing" his courtship and episode 8 has totally shifted my perspective on that.

This courtship isn't a parallel, this is a juxtaposition; and the biggest indication of that is the way Style refuses to take anything that Fadel does not give him freely. Style will put himself on display, will offer is body and his heart and ask for Fadel's touch, Fadel's lips, Fadel's heart -- but yet at each crucial moment when Fadel rejects him or turns away, Style's reaction is only one of understanding and compassion and acceptance. Look at the stark difference in these two moments. Look at Style's selfish determination to take in episode 2 as compared to his selfless acceptance of Fadel's right to reject his offer of affection in episode 8.

Because this time his love is real. This time, it's not just empty words dangled to bait a trap accidentally designed to work uniquely for Fadel's fragile heart. This time, Style will place all of his vulnerability in Fadel's hands and take the risk that Fadel will hurt him, that Fadel will be cruel to him, hell that Fadel may actually still kill him at the end of their journey, because Style has made the choice to put Fadel's happiness first. And this is so fucking incredible because I don't think Fadel has had anyone to do that for him since his parents died. Khun Mae certainly didn't, and Bison is his younger brother and the one Fadel has to care for, the one he's responsible for. Who, then, has been around to truly look at Fadel, to see into his heart and the things he desires in his darkest moments, and give him not only what he thinks he wants, but what is best for him?

But the beauty of their narrative is that love has given Style eyes to see true; to see behind Fadel's walls and masks and cruel facade, to the heart of the a man who is still bound up in his trauma and old hurts and isn't ready to let go of his past for the future Style wants to offer him. And all that he saw was worth enough that even with Fadel's gun at hand, even with Fadel sitting literally naked and vulnerable and partially incapacitated because of his broken arm, Style's choice is still to stay.

And I am brought to my knees by this choice because it isn't a thoughtless or careless one: Style literally vows to give his life on his quest to win Fadel back. This is a promise to stay by Fadel side until Fadel either kills him or becomes ready to walk away from his life of violence, because they both know now that these are the only options left.

But Style sees enough in Fadel to make wagering his very life worthwhile, because there's no price Style isn't willing to pay if it means the chance to hold Fadel in his arms again and receive a kiss freely given from the lips of the man he loves.

#the heart killers #the heart killers the series #fadelstyle #style sattawat #thk meta #style sattawat meta #hui talks thk #hui talks thai bl #thk ep 8 #style's courtship isn't a continuation its a juxtaposition and i am on my knees sobbing into my hands over it #just saw a post about someone feeling bored of fadelstyle because they’re just going in circles #and wow I’m honestly in awe at how differently someone’s experience can be watching the same thing #meanwhile I’m so so so grateful that the show is allowing their relationship to actually take time to heal #because Fadel’s walls were so high and crumbled so throughly in the first half of the series #that a quick resolution would have felt rushed and unearned #what we are getting instead is a wonderfully complex story of healing #where they get to find one another again but this time without their secrets hanging between them #I just…I think that’s so beautiful and I honestly feel sorry for the people who aren’t enjoying it because it’s perfect for me 😭❤️

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mixupmycota · 7 days ago

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My review I guess on Veilguard at this point: It has a very strong core, from a narrative design perspective. I like that core a lot.

All of the companions have arcs that resonate with each other, the themes of the narrative of a whole, and mirror the failures of their personal antagonists; Solas, and Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain. Each opportunity for someone to die or experience long-lasting consequences during the MSQ has been carefully considered and selected to provide narrative weight.

Rook's arc is mostly very satisfyingly executed for me, particularly in the relationships with Solas and the concept of leadership primarily through soft power. A lot of work is put in to mirror our efforts against those of younger Solas fighting against the Evanuris in a way that provided much needed textural contrast.

Felassan's notes, presences in the memories, and his overall haunting of the narrative since DA:I provide a poignant counterargument to Solas's whole deal.

Anders and Hawke continue to haunt the series as well, and their actions inform Varric's approach to Solas and I believe Rook as well in a way I find very compelling.

Grief hangs over this story, and it has a lot to say about the importance of facing and processing that grief, regret, and rage in order to have the best odds of creating a healthy future - or else cycles of vengeance and harm will continue in perpetuity.

The writing around the Titans here is very strong, especially when placed within the overall series with the recontextualization of harm we have witnessed and navigated in prior titles. It adds more depth to the already major horror of Tranqulization, for instance, and the creation of Golems.

Veilguard declares that burying and outright erasing history dooms us to repeat it, and that righting historic wrongs requires principled engagement with them - even and especially if they were harms committed by those who believed they were doing the right thing. This encourages reflection on the previous games, and I enjoy that a lot. We were always going here, and the devs have shown their work on that. For this, Dragon Age as a series is a hell of an achievement.

The companion writing is from a game design perspective the strongest it has ever been. The systems for engagement with those characters beyond transactional exchanges and demanding their background info are wonderful. I think the companion character writing from a writing perspective is very strong, and often quite subtle, as evidenced by a lot of the fandom discussions and debates that fly about.

I think, if Bioware had the opportunity in another title, to combine the Lighthouse inter-party banter system and mini events with free conversation, it would be truly outstanding. I was very pleased to see the companion quests staggered out through the game, that was a wonderful change.

I am confident that with my background and skillset, I understand the design decisions made in Veilguard, what they were going for in terms of its overall narrative, and I deeply appreciate that.

A story about several queer and disabled experts coming together to act as, functionally, a fantasy anarchist cell resisting patriarchal, fascist forces is exactly what I needed when it came out. Veilguard focuses on coalition building, it repeatedly drives home the importance of valuing the lives and personhood of those we work with when doing activist work - which is something that is often overlooked by those who fall into a Solas-style Chessmaster approach to the same.

The seams where content was likely cut for scope fill me with longing. I want to be clear I am talking about this from a design perspective - I'm looking at what is in the game itself, not the art book or data-mined material.

The Crossroads, for example, have so many little things that signal to a much more important function in gameplay. I expect at one point it was going to be a refugee hub, and that we would have been able to speak with some of the spirits there.

Harding's gift and so many associated momentos being in the Black Emporium speaks to the cut of additional dwarf related areas - if not Kal-Sharok itself, then the ability to return to the outpost that we do visit, and that's a shame.

Rivain is very underbaked, and the way the Lords of Fortune are siloed off from the map compared to the other factions suggests that there was either a late stage rework of the faction or they just ran out of time.

While Arlathan is one of my favourite areas to explore, the Veil Jumpers as a faction also are underserved with the inability to freely speak with Strife and Irelin.

I believe Treviso and the Necropolis can be used as a benchmark for the aspirations of interactivity with faction characters in this game. There are Crows and Watchers all around their respective areas, albeit most closely clustered near their immediate headquarters, and this I think does a lot to contribute to the player fondness for these groups in particular that I've seen.

Minrathous and the Hossberg Wetlands feel middle of the road here, and while I think accessing other regions for both was likely cut, I think good work was done with the resources available.

While work has been done within the framing of the narrative to make the gaps in faction content density less jarring, those gaps are very much still there.

Veilguard focused on the interpersonal-as-political, and I believe that's in part a choice made because there simply was not enough time to flesh out the environments, npc's, and factions as much as would have been wanted. The companion writing around this is very tight.

Replayability subsequently, in my opinion, comes from wanting to see the permutations possible with different Rook's relationships to each of the companions and the overall main plot. There are less opportunities for roleplay that grounds our character within the setting itself, and fewer still it seems if not playing as a member of the Mourn Watch, Crows, or Wardens.

Subsequently, if someone does not gel with the companions for any given reason - or considers them fun and enjoyable to be around but none reach blorbo tier - there is little that incentivizes replay beyond a second run unless they wish to see all of the faction/class combo dialogue variation.

I believe there is a lot of room within the roleplay opportunity we get to shape the essence of a given Rook, particularly if not wedded to picking the "blue/purple/red" options consistently, but Rook is a heavily authored character to fit the narrative that has been designed and subsequently will not mesh with many people and that is okay.

I think that the narrative design for the companions would have been stronger without Varric's narrated sections between their milestone quests. The same sections for the main story with our main villains serve an important purpose in updating us in what's going on in the wider world, but I think that the foreshadowing cut-in's weaken the companion narratives, personally.

However, I also understand that they are contributing to the overall Varric Illusion for the player themselves, and are a quick and easy thing to implement versus more interactivity with him in the Lighthouse. It feels like a compromise made as an investment in the payoff for that specific beat, and I get that.

The presence of the returning characters feels almost vestigial until the last couple of hours of the game. Morrigan and Dorian are the most important here, and Isabela I feel could really have benefited from also providing us with updates on the situation in the South in order to elevate her presence.

It feels as though the Inquisition - whether its remnants or the full organization - was intended to have a larger presence within the game, and I think at one point there was intent for us to visit Ferelden and the Hinterlands specifically, potentially using Skyhold as a hub for this and creating a refugee corridor with the Crossroads.

The letters from the Inquisitor and the Emmrich and Harding road trips have me thinking of that, and I think its omission is why we meet the Inquisitor in Minrathous versus the Crossroads.

The presence of the Inquisitor also feels truncated from their vision there, and I don't hold that against them at all. An impossible "Your Choices Will Matter" cheque was written at the end of Inquisition, as has been the case with all previous entries. Veilguard is the first game that does not promise us grand direct consequences of our individual actions within it, and that is a savvy design choice that provides much more freedom for anyone on the team going forward.

It is also something that will frustrate players who enjoy being promised those consequences, but I think it is healthier for the RPG sphere as a whole in the long term if we move away from doing that as it is fundamentally unsustainable.

I believe Veilguard is a game that people will get considerably fonder of over time, in the way that DA2 is now regarded by many as the best of the Dragon Age titles. It is incredibly earnest, and hopeful. Subsequently it's very important to a lot of people right now.

I want to be clear that this next part is not me hedging my opinion to appease anyone, it is just part of my opinion as a whole thing.

I think there are a lot of structural flaws in Veilguard that undercut its intended messaging, muddy the waters, and contribute to the caustic discussion space surrounding the game. I just also do not think this is a situation remotely unique to Veilguard, and I had no expectations of what this game "should" or "would" be prior to its release. I simply did not build any of that up, and so have engaged with it exactly as it is, relative to the other Dragon Age titles.

I think the reliance on environmental detail, fine facial animation, symbolic visual framing and body language in the higher-effort cutscenes to convey important story beats and nuance in characterization is the source of a lot of the conflict that emerges in discussion.

I do not think it is bad that they leaned on these things, and there is a great deal to enjoy and pick over. It's something that has not been as present in previous titles for various reasons, and I think its presence here is the result of the full Twine prototyping process with integrated storyboards.

I do think that with the free interactivity with npc's from previous titles vastly reduced or entirely absent; and much supporting documentation relegated to the codex rather than learned semi-organically through conversation with characters in the world at large, it is unsurprising that many players do not engage with what is there, or miss it in the first place.

There is a lack of narrative signposting, here. I think it is deeply unfair and often mean spirited to consider lack of engagement with these elements to be entirely a player skill issue, in discussion.

I also think that one of the weakest points of the game overall is how it handles time, and how this interferes with overall pacing. It is very unclear, often, how much time has passed between events - and the regret prison sequence is the most glaring example of this. The aftermath of that feels like it is missing a full debrief and establishment of the passage of time, and a check-in on Rook.

Ironically, it is one of the sections of the game that really could have used a Varric voice over explaining what everyone else was up too, and I think there is a missed opportunity to foreshadow the end screens here in having the companions take over and provide one for us.

Here I can feel the absence of gating - it feels like time and its passage was intended to be a much more substantial part of Veilguard than it wound up being.

If the game had another year to cook, I think we would be looking at a much richer experience all around.

That said: I really enjoy the game we do have. It did a great job, for me, in showing that much of Thedas is in a period of social upheaval and shifting norms in the wake of the rapid-fire major historic events in the previous titles, and it was nice to see life in the setting outside of hardline religious stronghold areas.

I am happy with it. I think it is unlikely that I will replay it as often as I had planned as a lone experience, but that doesn't mean that it is a bad game, or a bad experience. It gave me exactly enough to be content, and wrap up a lot of the thoughts and feelings I had about the series as a whole. Were I able to play through the whole series again back to back, I would deeply look forward to capping the experience off by playing Veilguard.

I think EA executives should also be pushed off a cliff, but that's just a matter of principle for me.

#myc talks design #long post #also: it genuinely doesn't bother me if people do not enjoy the game so long as they don't denigrate me for doing so #there are many reasons not to like it #including just not enjoying the gameplay!#that's all fine #the only thing that pisses me off is if my literacy and overall reading comprehension is insulted #or if my enjoyment of it is taken as a personal slight in some way #which has been the source of the most upsetting fandom interactions #i just don't care! people are allowed to not enjoy things! that's fine!#i find it interesting hearing about what things people didn't like also because i use it as data for my job

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