#pein! oh well

[textile-hospital]

sorry im saying bullshit about ghosts again but it's just.

it's not just a morbid fascination with death and dying (it is also that sometimes tho)!!! it's about how it reflects the living!! our beliefs, our fears, our hopes, our imagination!!!

each ghost story someone tells you doesn't only include information about the story itself, because the way they tell it tells you about them as well!!! what they believe, even if they don't believe in the story - it tells you more about what they find curious or fascinating about the story itself. why would they tell you a story they didn't care about in the slightest? that reason for telling you is something to be curious about in and of itself!!!

ghost stories and folklore and mythology aren't just about the contents of their stories!!! it tells you a little bit about everyone who contributed to that story!!! even if there are no names you can attach to it, even if each individual's contribution is something small, that story is the sum of everyone who's told it before, who contributed to it!!!

[greenglowsgold]

The List.

Based on the Cass Apocalyptic Series.

The first part of this has been rumbling around in my brain ever since that Super Sad Scene a month ago, but yesterday’s update gave me the other side of the coin, so to speak, and finally pulled it all together.

@somerandomdudelmao thanks for the fuel, friend

                              -----

                              Donatello’s days have become a series of checklists, as of late.

No, that’s not exactly true. His days have always been about lists: what he’s done, what he can delegate to someone else, what still needs doing. But these days he’s been doing less and listing more, piling tasks from the first category onto the second as fast as he can manage, hoping he has enough time to empty the queue.

The full catalog is written out in a series of files, reorganized for accessibility to the layperson and meticulously up-to-date as of yesterday. He meant to run through it again this morning, ensure all the relevant instruction manuals were attached to each item and double check his protocols, but he wasn’t… he couldn’t…

He’s going to die tonight.

It irritates him, his own miscalculation of the timing more than the stark presence of his oncoming demise. The latter has been inevitable for quite some time, long enough that he’s gotten used to the idea. But he thought he had another week or two, and he doesn’t like being proven wrong. He wonders if his brothers know.

Probably not. They know it’s bad now, obviously, because they’ve piled him with pillows and blankets and surrounded him on all sides, and Leo has finally gone quiet. But they trust him, they’ve always trusted him, even when they shouldn’t, so if he swears he’ll last a few more days, they’ll believe him. He thinks. He’s pretty sure. If they knew it was tonight, he doubts they would choose to sleep through it. Donnie thinks about waking them up, but only for a moment. He’d like to say it’s a noble act, to leave them in peace a little bit longer, but the truth is he’s just too fucking tired to move.

There’s something settled bone-deep in his chest, a heaviness that sits on him like a stone, a peine forte et dure pressing him down and down, stopping his voice and his breath and his heart. He wonders if this is what dying usually feels like, or if it’s unique to the Kraang. Raph would know.

He cranes his neck to the right, to catch Raph’s face out of the corner of his eye. Raph’s working eye is half-open, staring down at the floor. Donnie could ask him. (He won’t. Let him fall asleep.) The movement of his head is so slight it doesn’t even catch Raph’s attention. He’s too tired for anything more. He’s so goddamn tired.

His lists are out of reach at the moment, with his physical interfaces back in the lab and his ninpo locked behind a wall of oh-god-it-sounds-too-exhausting-to-even-try, but he memorized them all long ago.

Raphael: Maintenance (delegated to Casey, who has it well in hand). Plans (tucked away in a dedicated folder, long term, but someday they’ll have the materials, and Raph will have a proper body again, someday). Honey (yes, he passed that along last week).

Raph has access to the tracking programs, so he can keep an eye on everyone himself, even when Donnie can’t pull up locations or vitals for him anymore. He has his own space in the base once more, somewhere to close a door when he needs to (he insists he doesn’t, but Donnie isn’t a fool). He has more excuses to spend time with Casey, who’s taking over his upkeep. Donnie hopes it fills in some gaps for both of them.

He runs through the list, double checks each item. It’s his last chance to make sure he hasn’t forgotten anything important.

He looks down, finds Mikey.

There’s a stockpile of the anti-aging serum in his safe, the formula in his database, plans for the permanent solution clearly labeled. As long as they have his lab, his systems, Mikey will be as young as his years. He’s walked him through the greenhouse, even if most of it is controlled by the computer system. Mikey misses the world being green; it’ll do him good to spend more time around the plants. He has his tea, his candles. He has Draxum, who by now should have received a — mildly — threatening message warning him not to pull any disappearing acts anytime soon. He has their ancestors, just a short call away.

Donnie’s sure Mikey will call on him soon. He doesn’t plan to stray far.

Up a bit. To the left. Leo.

The arm — Leo knows how to take care of it, as does Casey.

The passwords — reset, something even Leo will be able to remember without resorting to blackmail.

The schedule — reshuffled for the next few days, he’ll have a hard enough time sleeping as it is.

The photos — everything they have, even the embarrassing ones. He even managed a couple of prints, and one precious shot from their pre-apocalypse days, something for Leo to tuck into a pouch and carry with him, when they’re not around.

Raph, Mikey, Leo. He doesn’t think he’s missed anything. Donnie lets his head fall back, too exhausted to hold it up any longer.

Is it enough?

His mind stretches further out. He’s unraveling.

What about April? Her prescription is up to date, they just checked a month ago. She has the latest in his combat tech, which has kept her safe in the field this long, so he has no reason to think it will falter now. He’s leaving her a few extra pieces, since he won’t be able to use them anymore. Leo will find the time for a movie night once in a while, he’s certain, even if his taste in Jupiter Jim movies is horrendous. They still have coffee; he’d die before he let that particular supply run out. He will, actually.

Casey. Fuck, Donnie’s gonna miss his birthday. But he did plan for this, his protocols will kick in. The mask is finished, everything is in place. He’s reconfigured his workstations, fit them for a tiny human instead of a seven-foot turtle. Casey has a better head for mechanics than any of his brothers ever did. Kid likes to be useful, so Donnie’s left him as much use as he can. He’s taught him everything Casey can learn and left instructions for more, when he’s a little older and wiser. His family will take care of him, they’ll make sure he gets there.

The base. It has to hold, to give them somewhere safe. The infrastructure is sound, and they have people to manage repair work. Supplies are decent, the most critical items in stock, everything that can be made renewable is. Their allies — Leo handles interpersonal issues and leadership, but Donnie’s checked the list with a pragmatist’s eye, left notes and rankings for priority. Security is the largest concern, but he’s spent nearly half his time with his assistants since his self-diagnosis (he could have spent it with his family), running them through the programs and adjustments, trying to bring them up to somewhere in the realm of his own expertise (a fool’s errand, but still). They’ve been rigorously instructed, they understand that the little things like sleep are secondary concerns. It has to hold.

Is it enough? For them to be okay?

He’s done everything he can. He can’t do any more. So it has to be enough.

Donnie blinks, and for a moment isn’t certain his eyes will open again at the end of it. But they do. At least one more time, they obey him.

Raph. Mikey. Leo. April. Casey. Home. He rolls back through the list. It’s his last chance. He can’t miss anything.

Mikey’s hand tightens unconsciously around his wrist, fingers meeting easily on either side. Donnie feels only the echo of the pressure.

Raph. Mikey. Leo. April. Casey. Home.

Something bright sparks at the edges of his vision before it fades. The last gasps of a dying brain, he supposes. Synapses firing one last time before they’re snuffed out.

Raph.

Mikey.

Leo.

                                                            April.

                                                                                                                        Casey.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   Home.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Light.

                                                                                                                         There’s light.

                                                            It hurts.

                                                            He thought dying would stop the pain, but it’s risen to a fever pitch instead. His brother’s arms are gone, but the disease wraps around him in their place, consumes him. It rages like a wildfire, burning through his center until pieces start to flake away like ash.

Oh, this is what it does, what it was built for. The Kraang could have killed him in a lot of different ways. He’d wondered why they chose this one.

He hasn’t planned for it. This is something he didn’t even know to fear.

It’s bright and it hurts but it’s quiet as he crumbles, folds in on himself like a black hole in the utter silence of outer space. It’s quiet enough that the voice that breaks through does so clear as a bell.

His head turns to follow the sound, instinct. He’s lost half his field of vision, but what’s left is enough. He looks, and finds Casey.

Casey looks at him, at him, not the body. Donnie opens his mouth to ask a question — What are you doing here? How? Why? — but something else sloughs out instead. Not blood. He doesn’t have that anymore.

Casey calls his name once more and starts running.

Donnie’s questions fold back into his mind. His mouth clicks shut, he swallows back the putrid rot and pushes himself up. His arms are shattered but they’ll have to hold him. They have to. Because Casey is here and he needs something, which means Donnie missed something, which means he isn’t done.

His spirit disagrees with him, doesn’t see the logic. His arms don’t hold.

Casey reaches to catch him as he falls, and the touch ruptures him instead. He scatters. Into the air and the ground and Casey. For a moment, he’s just pieces, fumbling around and latching onto anything that welcomes them, and Casey does that. They flow into him. They’re him. They’re…

He’s…

Casey, he’s…

Donatello pulls himself back together. Most of himself, anyway. The infection hasn’t followed him but the damage persists. He’s run through with cracks and crevices, shaking bits away into infinity with every movement. But there’s more of him here than not.

Unexpectedly, Donnie is not gone. He’s still dead, but that’s fine, he planned for that one.

                                                                                                                         Casey has him now. He wraps himself around Donnie in layers, helps hold him together with a kind of sheer will that makes up for any lack of mystic knowledge in spades. Casey asks him to stay, and Donnie takes up the task like Sisyphus sizing up the hill. This time, this time I’ll do it right.

Even better, Casey has taken him to another time, one where all of Donnie’s long-term plans are now completely-fucking-reasonable plans. Casey’s going to fix it, so Donnie can fix everything else. Whatever else needs it. He hasn’t really asked. And he knows he’s missed something, but he doesn’t think too hard about what, not yet.

First thing’s first: he needs a body.

It’s so simple to accomplish that it seems like the universe is mocking him. Just a quick 1-2-3, ticking off the list. It feels almost stupid, like running back through the early levels of a video game after unlocking all the ultimate weapons and burning through enemies and obstacles, laughing, shit, did I used to think this was hard?

In no time at all, his own face has formed in front of him.

In no time at all, he’s gasping.

It’s only been a few hours since he last breathed air, but he’s missed it.

Another thing he’s missed? Functional musculature. Casey slams into him and Donnie is startled to find that it doesn’t knock him over. His arms and legs look like actual limbs again, not fragile little sticks disguising themselves as such. He stands, dragging Casey along without a second thought. The weight barely registers. It’s amazing.

The power trip is heady, but it only lasts a few minutes before reality kicks it in the ass and pulls him back down to earth.

We lost, Casey says.

They’re dead, Casey says.

It wasn’t enough, Casey does not say, but Donnie hears it just as clearly.

All those plans, the preparations, the precautions and protocols, they only borrowed a year or two before they fell apart. He sees the timeline spiral out before him, tighter and tighter until it collapses in on itself, rendered all the more insignificant from his own point of perception. He was alive yesterday. His family is dead today.

Everything he did, it wasn’t enough. Of course it wasn’t. He was stupid to think otherwise.

(Raph. Mikey. Leo. April. Casey. Casey’s still here. It was enough for him, at least.)

It cuts at him a little, to have been so wrong. But he’s strong again, now. He can take the wound. More importantly, he has another chance to get it right.

Donnie breathes. His chest expands smoothly, easily. The air doesn’t rattle in his lungs. He’s alive, he’s a genius, he can fix anything.

He pulls up a list.

[mixelation]

Obito's circle is obviously not cool with the age thing and maybe him dating in general- though I suspect they don't realize the real danger of Tori's corrupting influence? But what about the Akatsuki? Itachi and Deidara? Are they like ~well in hindsight there was tension and they were partnered together a lot or are they like ~this is the most cursed thing I've ever heard? Does Itachi worry for the future of Konoha? Is Deidara forced in even closer proximity to one of the most annoying people he's ever met since he's her roommate? As an aside, happy for this AU version of Tori for getting with someone who will rob a ninja walmart and destroy a village for her. Go girl, live your dreams.

okay here is what you have to understand about itachi's view of tori in plasticity.

she took out his brother for a banana. not on purpose. on accident. but still. for a banana

he also watches her straight up murder a guy with a seal. also on accident. and then she's like, "oh damn my experimental design was kind of shit"

he knows tobi is "madara." he knows she knows tobi is "madara." this does not seem to have affected her behavior around him at all.

itachi for the first several months is like "hey if she knows so many secrets and is also an unstable weirdo, why don't we just kill her" and obito is like, "no no.... what if she's funny useful....."

SPOILERS, but, tori is going to come home from her first mission with tobi and be like: "yeah the ghost was real. fight me on this. i dare you" while tobi stands behind her going "OOOOH IT WAS SO SPOOKYYYYY" and then pein and konan just have to accept this. it's in their official records now. ghosts are real

so basically: itachi is very aware there is. something. very insane about tori, and also obito is into it. he's very aware that their personalities combined will form some sort of horrible vortex that might ruin all of konoha. so he's like. well i don't like it but i feel like i should have anticipated this happening.

deidara is not at all worried about konoha potentially going up in flames. he's more worried about INCREASED VISITS FROM TOBI. ITACHI, YOU MORON, HOW DID YOU LOSE YOUR GIRL TO OBITO

i think for the rest of akatsuki torito is easier to wrap their heads around that itatori. they were partners. they were into the same dumb shit. yes it's annoying but why are you so upset, itachi, we all saw this coming

[ladykissingfish]

*Hidan stands in Tobi’s doorway*

Hidan: Oi, mask-boy … you gotta sec? I wanna talk to you.

Tobi: Hidan-senpai, I swear I did not eat that piece of cake you left on the counter. Although you DID leave it there for a long —

Hidan: This ain’t about me, fucker. It’s about your other Senpai: blondie.

Tobi: D-Deidara? Is something wrong with him? Is he hurt?? *jumps up* I need to —

Hidan: Relax; he’s fine. Well, kind of. *shuts Tobi’s door and sits at the edge of his bed* I don’t know how to say this gay shit without it sounding gay, but … you know the kid is my best friend, right? You know I … I love that annoying bitch, in a not-gay way?

Tobi: I know that, but what’s that got to do with anything?

Hidan: Does that shitty mask make you as blind as red-eyes? You can’t see that Deidara likes ya?! In a gay way?

Tobi:

Tobi: I … I t-think you’re wrong, Hidan-Senpai. Me and Deidara are pals! There’s nothing —

Hidan: I know there ain’t shit going on between ya because both of you are big pussies who can’t just man up and tell each other the truth! Admit it; you’ve been eyeing him since the day Pein made you partners, haven’t ya?

Tobi:

Tobi, slipping into Obito voice: I’ve spent my entire life silently wanting those whom I could not have. What reason do I have to believe that Deidara would be any different? And why do you care, anyway? You hate me!

Hidan: I don’t hate ya, asshole. I mean I’d like ya better if you converted to the way of Jashin but I’ve accepted all of you fuckers are hopeless heathens. And like I said I care about blondie. He’s the whole reason I got up the balls to talk to the old bastard, and it’s why we’re together now. I want the same for him. So .. *voice gets softer* Talk to ‘em. Please.

Tobi: *sighing* And get rejected? You know what, fine. What’s another stab in the heart after a lifetime of pulling knives out of it?

Hidan: *claps him on the back* That’s the spirit, weirdo! *gets up* Lemme know later how it went!

*two weeks later*

Deidara, in Hidan’s room: … and then he kissed me, hm! Hidan it was soooo good, his lips were so soft and his face! His hair! He was so unbelievably handsome!

Hidan: It’s about fuckin’ time, blondie! Hey, maybe now you can go on dates with me and the old man! We —

Kakuzu, coming into the room: Oi, Hidan, get ready; we’re going out to dinner. One of my contacts gave me a two for one dinner coupon for that place we went to a few weeks ago.

Hidan: … the place I got the food poisoning from?! I was on the toilet for three days! I lost eight pounds!

Kakuzu: Oh, don’t be a baby. Just don’t order the fish this time and you’ll be fine. *walks out*

Deidara: 

Deidara: M-maybe we’ll take a raincheck on that double date thing, hm …

[tozettastone]

More Naruto OC thoughts:

an unnamed researcher's top 5 top 6 rules for stalking Kakuzu

[A clipping of Kakuzu's wanted poster is stapled above.] Remember he is so, so dangerous. You must ensure you are never an object of interest to bounty hunters generally and certainly not to Kakuzu specifically. Kakuzu is bigger, older, and a lot scarier than you are. Anonymity is the first rule.

If you cannot be perfectly anonymous, you can embrace pseudonymity instead. That is, if there's a risk of exposure, you can pretend to be someone infinitely more interesting. Impersonating a different missing-nin has worked so far. You need to keep track of who's who in the industry, which happily is also your ongoing project. [Notes regarding assassination pricing are written, rewritten, and crossed out in the margin.]

Kakuzu is rarely oblivious as to his surroundings. He has a good chakra awareness and a lot of experience. But missing-nin who want to exchange dead bodies for money have to go through locations where drops are made, and they're frequently populated. Keep abreast of the exchange locations. Pro tip: everyone stares at Kakuzu in a town, because he's massive, wearing a giant black cloak, and, oh yes, carrying a corpse. You blend right in.

"Pein sees everything that goes on in Rain." This is absolutely true, but if you're good enough at genjutsu you can make sure what he sees and what he knows are two different things. Even Pein cannot see right through a really good genjutsu.

[Smudged with soot] Avoiding Kakuzu's young man only seems easy because he is loud and easy to track. He is by far the more likely of the two to involve random bystanders in his moods. Never remain in the same building again, no matter how well disguised you are. Hidan is indiscriminate in his violence. When is Kakuzu going to kill him? On reflection, Kakuzu may not be able to kill him.

6. [Next to a bloody half-fingerprint.] Avoid Uchiha Itachi.

[dayseternal-blog]

Fanfic you ve been reading recently? Love your tastes btw!

:) You sent this months ago, but here are the fics that I've been reading recently, like this August/September:

"The Mission" by Lunawrayth - Rated M, Canon-Divergent AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. It wasn't that Hinata never expected to work with Naruto, just never on a mission quite like this.

-I check this one for updates so often. at least once a week, but more like multiple times a week.

"thus a silenced memory" by @keroppri - Rated T, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. Eight years flown on by and Naruto makes his return to the city where he once fell in love, only for him to leave hollow and broken after she was persuaded to leave him. Plagued by her memory at every corner, a chance meeting changes fates, minds, and hearts. Thus he tries to silence the memories. Inspired and based on Jane Austen's Persuasion.

-ahhh loving the yearning angst of unrequited love (but it's actually requited) in this fic.

"Amaranthine" by @opttagoyeo - Rated T, Various AU, Series of unrelated one-shots. A few drabbles/ideas ranging from fluff, confusing, humor, and angst regarding the most iconic and popular canon couple of Konohagakure, Naruhina.

-just started reading this! Full of cuteness.

"After Office Hours" by Pandora_Imperatrix - Rated M, Canon-Divergent AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. Naruto is lonely after Sakura and Sasuke left the village to travel together, he keeps leaving the office later and later, things start to change after one night when his secretary Hinata and him share a couple of vending machine beers. In this AU Naruto becomes Hokage a lot earlier than in the manga and The Last never happened.

-It's been years since this was updated, and recently Pandora updated and just finished it!!!!!!

"Friends with benefits" by @pastillesch - Rated T, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. "I'm dumping you" --Naruto blinked once. Twice. "But we're not even together". It was more a stress relief than anything romantic, really. A hobby one would say. And now it was time to search for a new hobby. Or at least a new partner for this kind of hobby.

-Another one that I was super excited to see updated again!!!!

"Casual Touches" by Lunawrayth - Rated M, Canon-Divergent AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. It's the casual touches that do it.

-Since I'm really feeling Luna's style, I checked out this story, too, and it's super cute. Love it.

"Fairy Tale" from "NaruHina Erotica Oneshots" by @makuro767 - Rated E, Fantasy AU, Two-shot. Naruto moved to an old family home to start anew and found an unlikely existence in his backyard...

-I am a total sucker for this type of size difference au. Like, it's just such a weird trope. It's just so weird. I love it. Makuro767 does a wonderful job with it!

"Love Is Not A Cage" by @nightowl27-writer - Rated E, Canon-Divergent AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. When Naruto comes back to his senses after the battle with Pein, the first thing he remembers are those baffling words she said just before she nearly died for him, and he NEEDS to hear them again. Will the truth set them free? Or are some confessions too much for the soul?

-that recent update killed me. In a good way. but oh man.

"Hinata (Mirror, Mirror)" from "Chicken Ramen for the Pervert's Soul" by @wickermayne - Rated E, Canon-Compliant, One-shot. Naruto rolled his eyes at the purchase asking why she needed it and complained about how much room it took up, but Hinata enjoyed modeling different dresses in front of it, loved how it let her see all the many different angles. And that seemed to keep Naruto quiet enough about the mirror.

-🙊🙈🔥

So, I guess it's been months since I worked on this list. Because it's nearing the end of March 2024 now. And up at the top, apparently I was last working on this list in September 2023. And at that time, it had been "months" since the asker sent this. Well, here's the ones I've been reading recently:

"clash of possession - naruhina" by @powerful-niya - Rated E, Yakuza AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. In the heart of the yakuza underworld of Tokyo, the passing of Hiashi, the leader of the Hyūga clan, does more than just break Hinata's heart, but it exposes her to vulnerability. Seizing the opportunity, the ruthless Naruto, Uzumaki clan leader, targets not only the conquest of the Hyūga clan but also wishes to claim Hinata as his most prized possession, no matter the cost.

-It's been awhile since I read an irredeemable Naruto, and Niya's not lying when she calls the characterization ruthless!!

"Prey" by @sessakag - Rated E, Modern/Gangs AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. Following a midnight chance encounter with Hinata Hyuuga, a smitten sociopath, Naruto Uzumaki, tries his hand at romance, determined to make her fall in love with him the only way he knows how.

-it's the mystery of Hinata's background that really fuels this piece for me. Icing on the cake is Naruto as a wonderfully sexy and dangerous stranger and the sexual tension between them that is absolutely exquisite.

"Paper Rings" by Its_Levioooosaa - Rated E, College/Soulmates AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. In a world where soulmates are found after a touch and after a brief moment of pain, resulting in a red loop circling the first knuckle of each person's pinky finger. Fating the two people together and leaving it up to them to decide what their relationship will be. Hinata had just stopped at her friends for a piece of pizza, little did she know that she'd be leaving with a soulmate.

-It's a cute premise and I can't wait to see what happens next! I love a good soulmate AU!

"Wanting More Than A Poolside View" by @bunny-hoodlum - Rated E, High School AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. Just a Sukumizu fetish scenario where Hinata is the target of a panty thief and recruits Naruto to investigate himself.

-I've been loving all of Bunny's updates this year, but I'm really hoping for an update on this one....or Narutoland haha, but I dunno what it is about High School NaruHina and their immaturity, it's just so fun!

Kay, that's all. If I don't post this now, I never will lol.

[yowyowyaoi]

*Deidara packing his travel bag when Sasori comes in*

Deidara, over his shoulder: Be ready in a few minutes, Danna, hm.

Sasori: No need for that, Deidara. Our mission has been cancelled.

Deidara: *turns around* Cancelled?

Sasori: Mm. Or rather, cancelled for us. I convinced Pein to send Itachi and Kisame in our places.

Deidara: But … why?

Sasori: *sits at edge of Deidara’s bed, and pats spot next to him for Deidara to sit as well*

Sasori: It’s just, well, two things. One, I’m worried for you, and two, I feel bad.

Deidara: Worried? Why would you be worried?

Sasori: We’ve been traveling almost non-stop for months, now. You’re not getting enough sleep, and … you’ve lost quite a bit of weight. And I feel bad because I know the pace we keep is quite hectic, and I know that’s my fault. I’m a puppet and I don’t have the same physical needs or limitations that you have, and a lot of the time, I tend to forget how tired you must feel.

Sasori: So I think, maybe, it’s time you had a bit of a rest.

Deidara: Danna -

Sasori: And with Christmas coming so soon, well … I thought maybe this could be a gift for you. *takes hold of Deidara’s hands* Just me and you able to stay here and relax for the week. No traveling, you able to sleep in a bed instead of on the ground. We can go to the market and pick out some food I can make for you, so that you can eat well, and —

Deidara: *puts both arms around Sasori and hugs him tightly*

Deidara, shakily: T-that sounds like the best Christmas present in the whole world, Sasori. Thank you!

Sasori: *gently stroking Deidara’s hair* You are the most precious person in this world to me; I’m sorry I’ve been so neglectful of properly taking care of you. But hopefully this week will —

Deidara: *pulls Sasori into a deep kiss*

Deidara, murmuring: There are many ways I’d like you to take care of me, Sasori, hm ~

Sasori: Oh? I’m more than happy to help you out, then, brat ~

*the next week*

Kakuzu, examining Deidara: Well there’s no doubt about it, kid … you have a severely sprained back. If it’s to properly heal you’ll need to stay off of your feet for at least a month’s time.

Pein: I just don’t understand it. I let you and Sasori have this time off because he said you needed rest. I come back and you’ve somehow damaged yourself to the extent that you’ll be out of commission even longer?? Just what in the world did you both DO all week?

Sasori: W-well, we, er, we were just —

Deidara, blushing hard: N-nothing! Just bad luck I guess! Oh, by the way, Kakuzu? M-my bed frame kinda … broke. A-and my mattress needs replacing. Can I get an advance on my pay to buy new ones?

Kakuzu and Pein:

[memeapple2]

Starters of memes that live rent free in my head part 3 beacuse fuck it!

"I just can't talk to a hetty right now."

"Bold of you to assume the most important person in my life is a woman. God bless you Danny Devito!"

"Well god danm, that's one diagonal twix!!"

"DID YOU JUST EAT MY FOREVER WEED BROWNIE!?"

"It don't matter none of this matters."

"LORDY LORDY LOOK WHO'S TURNING 4040!!"

"It is my job to defeat the darkness! This is another form of the darkness! Also what's a penis?"

"Wanna watch baaaaaaaambi?"

"I'M GONNA BE THE PRITTEST GIRL AT THE PAAAAAAARTY!!!"

"They can't troll me beacuse I have no ears! They can't troll me if I can't hear them!"

"What!? I have no fucking ears!!"

"They can't troll you if they're dead!"

"I don't think I can Miku Miku ooeeoo any longer."

"It's never too late not to be an asshole!!"

"Naaaaaaah, the eternal worm came back for Connecticut!"

"I hope someone dies and goes to hell today!!!"

"I storm there, I like lower prices!"

"YOU'S A REAL MOTHER FUCKER YA KNOW THAT!?"

"YOU'VE ROLLED THE WORST JOINT EVER NOW YOU'VE GOTTA LEAVE!"

"I've rolled the worst joint ever now I've gotta leave."

"GET IN THE SOUP JACKASS!"

"Oh you poor feeble minded gay! I've evolved past Fortnite!!"

"Just fill the hole, hole filler!!"

"ARE YOU STUPID? GET OUT OF HERE! SHUT UP!! I HATE YOU! YOU ARE A LIAR! FUCK OFF!! I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! PERVERT!!"

"I DON'T HAVE AAAAANY MONEY!!"

"You are cute! Kiss me! Bestie!!!"

"WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE!?"

"Grill me a cheese."

"I'M NOT GRILLING YOU A CHEESE!!"

"YOU DARE COMPARE MY TIDDIES TO TORPEDOES!!"

"You've seen it now you can't unsee it!"

"Life is short but also unbearably long!"

"ALRIGHT I CHANGE MY MIND YOU CAN HAVE THE AMULET!!"

"No, now I don't want it anymore."

"LAYED MY LAST EGG? THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE!"

"There is nothing chicken about this situation!"

"Once Mr. Potato sausage enters your life he never truly leaves."

"That's the skittles water."

"YOUR MOM, YOUR MOM, YOUR MOM, MOM!!"

"YOU'RE IN MY DOMAINE NOW! WHERE EVERY LANDMARK IS PROJECTED BY A GREEN SCREEN! NOTHING IS REAL!!"

"No, shut up! It's still relevant AND YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR SINS!!"

"YOU FUCKERS DREW PICTURES OF ME WITH MY PEINS OUT SO I'M ERASING THE INTERNET!!"

"I won't hurt you? Who says that? POTENTIAL CREEPERS, THAT’S WHO!!"

"I need complete silence for this spell, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHJJNNNNBGHNCFJ!!"

"THAT WILL BE YOUR BAAAAAALLLLS!!"

"I was bein a bee, it's what I do!"

"Oh shit, I guess I'm just a freak then."

"NOW WE'RE GETTING FUCKED BY GOD!"

"ZOOPERS!"

[you-ren-emy]

I'm going to go off about some random filler episode that's supposedly at least somewhat Deidara centric, because...????

Shippuden ep 457 "Partners"

Right off the bat. Deidara's voice is....so deep. I was a little surprised because I haven't properly heard it in so long

(my timestamps are broken so...it's not exact.)

3:03 his height difference with Pein is surprising... You'd never really notice how short he is unless you looked into it. Really, Deidara has quite the aura.

4:04 Although I LOVE his half up half down hairstyle, I also loved his low ponytail. Realistically, it doesn't make sense for him to just switch up his style like that, he coulda kept it for a little longer, you know?...but they don't really care, I'd think so. (but for the fact that we see him tying his hair up, which is pretty pretty, it's forgivable you know)

(Timestamp inexact) For a few seconds in the overhead frame where they overlook the sand disc, I notice that Deidara is now wearing his socks. This is set in the past, so Dei wore beige "khakis" and sandals instead of the classic dark desaturated blue pants with matching "ninja shoes" with those.... Socks that have a stripe going OVER the shoe. So in this shot, he's supposed to be wearing his old clothes. It's not like he could just go "Hey wait here Danna, I'm going to go change my pants." (Which is weird and out of character, I should also mention that he already calls Sasori "Danna" despite having met him just today, which means Sasori has done NOTHING to earn Deidara's respect just yet. The disgrace.)

Also, Why'd they send the new kid out for the important mission of "take down the rogue member of our group"? To be fair, Dei has spark. Power. And they know that, but...? Oh, gee. It's a filler episode...

Somewhere around 5:20 Deidara opened up his cloak to reach out for clay. There are so many errors in these few frames? First of all, his nails ARE NOT supposed to be painted black yet! Why, did they just stop along the road, halting their important mission to get his nails done? Ludicrous. My attention is pointed to his clay pouch since he was reaching for that, and the chain dangling between said pouch and the belt is missing. At least they remembered that he had only one pouch on his left side at the time. He still has the bottom half of his cute kimono jacket but... It's that dark, desaturated blue like his new outfit. And he has the crop top and mesh undershirt above the belt now so HUH????? They didn't forget his new, shiny ring but they did forget the consistency of his clothing and... It's just kinda sad. Feels bad for the animators.

I should also mention that within the frame, his front hair fwips and flows, exposing his other eye sometimes. Though there isn't anything drawn there, which is fine enough, but in the next few frames when he turned to look at Sasori to his right, Deidara SUDDENLY has his eye scope even though at that point, he was fresh in and probably didn't develop it yet. (Okay but I kinda found it endearing how enthusiastic he was to perform his art.)

Somewhere in 5:30 something, Deidara's face is a lil derpy which is cute

Orochimaru appears. Knows Deidara immediately, calls him a kid which Deidara's opposes to. Look...orochi is like... A grandpa compared to him, so, that's fair enough to say, isn't it?

Sasori sent Deidara to go lookout, which Deidara looked annoyed about. Sasori said that Deidara, unless he had any grudges, wouldn't have any reason to fight the snake man. Which, fair. At that point, he probably held nothing against...but he looked and sounded miffed about it. Maybe just because he wants to preform his art and not because of a mysterious grudge? I don't know. This is a filler.

...well crap I ran out of image slots. Here's to hoping your imagination still works because I AM NOT DONE!

Sasori is fighting using a dead guy's corpse, Orochi summons said dead guy from the grave, Deidara looks somehow cute looking down from above. But he's also supposed to be handsome...hmmph.

Dang. Feels bad for the third Kazekage over there.

NOOO THE IRON SAND RAINED UP AT DEI AND ended up destroying the wing of his ride somehow...? He's coming crashing down.... Poor guy.

9:00 Deidara is raining explosives! Not much to comment.

In the subsequent scene, he's descending FAST into the ground. Which means you can catch his eye scope EVEN IF HES NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE IT YET

He's...getting a nice chance to shine, even if it's futile. Go, go Dei.

"After you two die, I'll resurrect you both in the same way."

...

Well...not you though, snake.

Gee, the Kazekage really has it rough being Sasori's puppet and Orochimaru's pawn at the same time.

5:48 something Dei's flock of creations are being sent after Orochimaru www, he gets to have his scene and his signature line is said! "Art is... An explosion!" And sounds so enthusiastic too!~ so glad he's happy here, blowing up the sand disc thing....

...though there is one thing to mention. And it's that his ring, though on the correct hand and finger, is on the upper part of his finger just under the nail for some reason.

Man, that explosion was so dramatic.

Heh, everyone's having a holographic zoom meeting. No comment here... Well, one. Deidara. He's very cute there.

Oh. Second half. Hidan's there. I find it funny how he has a modern day jacket as his original fit... Either that or he hasn't got a top on. Inconsistencies. I much prefer the jacket though.

Now....many a minutes later. 18:55. Deidara's there, fleeting cherry blossoms. Deidara's doing his thing, performing his art. He blows up a castle! He looks very happy, he's in his element, he's where he's supposed to be! I don't know what art makes him feel like...but it seems to be good.

Dei... always so flashy.

There isn't Deidara anymore, so, I'm signing out.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Tsunade

There’s a lot of things to love about Tsunade. She’s one of the strongest female character’s in the entire series as well as being a very damaged character who’s fighting just to get through every day.

She comes back to Konoha and takes the job of Hokage because of a kid she has only just met and procedes to lead the village for five years through some of the worst fights it has had to deal with. It’s under her leadership that Konoha works with the other villages, and unlike her Sensei she is actually unafraid to put the elder’s in their place.

Epic moment’s for Tsunade are numerous, but i’ll try not to get too carried away.

(Movie only) Poking Kakashi in the face and reminding him that accusing Naruto of attacking A, and thus throwing him into prison, was HIS idea and he has no right to judge her for being harsh (he looks like a scolded child. I love it. The auntie vibes are STRONG in this movie)

Speaking of Kakashi, remmember when she found out that he died and she proceeded to destroy one of the pillers on the roof of the Hokage’s mansion? Because i do and i LOVE it. Tsunade has seen enough death in her life but that doesn’t stop her from taking a second to morn Kakashi’s death and literally destroy something in anger (also while looking for pics i saw a conversation about how her destroying that piller wS representative of Kakashi’s death being the destruction of a piller of Konoha and oh boy i had FEELINGS).

Also, just the whole Pein attack in general was some bad ass Tsunade. I think Hashirama is the only other Hokage who could have protected Konoha and saved as many lives as Tsunade did. Her skills really shone through her as well as her connection with Lady Katsuyu.

(Anime Only) showing Ino and Sakura what she looked like when she was younger. Tsunade looked so proud of herself while she was showing off her younger look. It’s clear that she just loves looking young and that her keeping herself looking younger has never been about sexual appeal but just enjoying being young. If she could turn back time and be 12 again i think she would, and not just to save Dan and her brother.

Caving in Madara’s Sussano. This woman stood there and listened to Madara bad mouth her for the crime of not being as talented as her grandfather and instead of crying over it she proceded to destroy every judgement Madara made against her. She got stabbed through the abdomen and cut Madara’s sussano sword and shoved it out if her body. She got cut in half and still healed the other Kage’s using Katsuyu. SHE PUNCHED MADARA’s SUSSANO, A NEAR PERFECT DEFECE, AND SHATTERED THE RIB CAGE. Sure she was never going to win that fight, but damn did she do some major damage.

The fact that she taught Sakura to gamble? Delightful. Love master and student bonding over non training activities.

Calling Kakashi stupid for how he faced Itachi? Fair. Man didn’t know what he was getting into because he didn’t have all the necessary info, but she’s still valid for calling him out on acting before thinking. He was so protective of Asuma, Kurenai and specifically Sasuke (and then Naruto when he realized Itachi was actually there for him) he just threw himself into a fight. Tsunade had every right to call him dumb.

Telling Naruto his only disease was being dumb XD one of my fav moment’s ever. Boy was not ready.

(Book only) yelling at Gai for ditching his position to catch a ride on the fancy new air balloon/plane. Also, her asking Gai to tell them what Kaiyo looked like always felt hilarious because this man forgets all the faces and i can only imagine that it was a stressful af conversation to have.

(Book only) ‘Kakashi take my job’ ‘no’ Kakashi take my job’ ‘no’ ‘kakashi take my-‘ ‘fine’ ‘ABOUT DAMN TIME’

[dream-phantasm]

Leona Kingscholar x Reader: Love Letters (6)

motivation flopped :(

Rook shows up as well as a surprise guest...

Hope you enjoy! No spoilers or warnings for now but this might change in future installments :)

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6 [!] | END

"Beauté! How merveilleux!" You squint, shielding your eyes.

"Fygaa! He's so shiny dazo!" Grim grunts. "You've finally decided to seek me out, a smart decision, Trickster!" Rook Hunt was a very bizarre student. As a Pomefiore student, an NRC student on top of that, he was naturally eccentric and beautiful. 

Yet he has that edge to him that makes you want to run far, far away from him. "Uh, I'll just leave you all to it…make sure Rook doesn't blow anything up." Trey quickly closes the door behind him. 

"Trey, don't leave us!" Ace whines, placing his hand on the door. "Tell me when you're done." They could hear Trey's voice getting further, he has definitely ditched them. "It's not time to be a coward, Ace!" Deuce nudged him. 

"It's nice to meet you, Mr. Hunt." You decide to wave as he stood up and took you by the hand. He gives a light peck to your hands and looks up at you with those cunning green eyes. You squeak and flinch. 

"Oh my great sevens, ew." Ace groans, covering his eyes. Deuce stands on the side awkwardly watching the interaction. "You smell funny dazo." Grim sniffs the air, looking warily at the Pomefiore vice dorm head. The more accurate assumption was that Rook Hunt simply did not smell, at all. 

"Don't be rude, Grim." You scold him. "I've already known about you for a while, mx. It's merveilleux to meet you in person! My name is Rook Hunt, at your service." Rook introduces himself properly. "You can just call me Rook, Trickster." He adds with a smile. 

"Okay." You simply nod, this guy weirded you out. From the way he had spoken to you, you could already assume he knew of your situation. You are fairly sure Rook was stalking either your admirer or you. 

"So, you know about the thing…?" You ask just to confirm. "Oui! You've come to the right person to find your prince charmant!" Rook nods eagerly. "Good! Then, spill! Tell me who it is!" You also eagerly lean forward. 

"Fufu! But I cannot expose one's secrets as le Chasseur d'Amour!" Your face freezes before it turns into an empty expression of despair. You slowly sink to the floor, you wish to become part of the floor.

Life might be easier if I were the floor. I could just exist all day…not needing to worry about any overblots or secret admirers. I could get stepped on all day by hot- Wait. I don't want that… You blinked blankly.

"[Name], are you okay!?" Deuce shakes you frantically. "Why am I here…just to suffer?" You weakly grunt, flailing limply in his arms. "Henchman, you owe me tuna dazo!" Grim joins in shaking you, the best he could with his little paws anyway. 

"Oh my! What a tearful display of peine d'amour!"

"Alright, enough being dramatic! Hey, you! This is your fault." You hear Ace snap. "Oh, how your compagnons care for you." You spot Rook wiping tears from the corners of his eyes. "Ugh." You grumble.

"There's no need to worry, Trickster! As Monsieur Dandelion said, he indeed has eyes the colour of emeralds and he is indeed a student of Savanaclaw as you merveilleusement guessed!" Rook finally provides you a few hints. Deuce stops shaking you as you slowly get up. 

"Ace, I think we are going to be looking into every Savanaclaw students' eyes." You turn to face Ace, with a serious look on your face. He scrunches up his nose. "No way, you can do that on your own." Ace rolls his eyes, looking away from you. "Maybe we should ask Cater again…" Deuce suggests. 

"There's no way he would keep track of something like that, idiot." Ace scoffs. "Oi! I don't see you making any helpful suggestions!" He glares at Ace. "Aghh, I'm getting hungry again from thinking about our lost sandwich dazo!" Grim groans, rolling on the floor. "I'm sorry!" You wail, you really didn't mean to give Ruggie the sandwich. 

"Excuse me." The door to the alchemy classroom opens suddenly, a tall man with teal hair and mismatched yellow eyes stepped into the room. 

"Monsieur Prémédité!" Rook greeted him cheerfully. "Hello, Rook." The new student smiled politely in response. His eyes did a quick scan of the room, those heterochromia eyes landing on…you?!

You wave awkwardly. Ace slaps your hand down. You give him a questioning look but he continues staring skeptically at the student. You look to Deuce to find he looks a bit unsure as well. This might've been some weird dorm tension so you observe the student's armband. 

Octavinelle? You try your best to recall what Cater and Trey had told you that day. It's based on the Sea Witch and its main trait is compassion. Probably has a lot of mermen, right? You still don't understand how this relates to beef with Heartslabyul or Ace. You swear to the Great Sevens, how did he get into the bad graces of so many students already?

"Oh, are you busy at the moment? I could come back later." He turns back to Rook. "Hold on a moment, Trickster. What are you here for, Monsieur Prémédité?" Rook asks, turning his attention to the Octavinelle student. 

"Just the special fertilizer for mushrooms. Are they still in the cupboard?" He asks politely, staring at the cupboard behind you. 

You quickly shuffle aside nervously. The Octavinelle student notices this and you hear him chuckle quietly. Please hurry up and leave. The audacity of these guys. 

"You've gotten Crewel's permission, oui?" Rook tilts his head. "Yes. For my alchemy project this week." He nods. "You're working on luminescent fungi, correct? It's in the cupboard, Monsieur Prémédité." He gestures to the cupboard. 

"Fufu, yes, that's correct. I wonder how you figured out already." The Octavinelle student laughs, he walks toward the cupboard and crouches down.

"If I may be so presumptuous, your name is [Name], correct?" He suddenly asks you. You weren't that surprised. You're rather infamous due to the welcoming ceremony incident and then the chandelier one. 

"Yeah, it's uh, nice to meet you, Mr…?" You trail off awkwardly. "Jade Leech. Fufufu, I saw you were running around campus, asking for someone." He smiled, amused. You flushed. You probably did look like a headless chicken, huh?

It was too late for your dignity here anyway. "O-Oh, uh, yeah." You nod. "Do you by chance know a Savanaclaw student with green eyes, Leech?" Deuce asks hopefully. "Hey, don't go asking everyone, it's too vague anyway, stupid." Ace scoffs, he's still staring skeptically at Jade. 

"A Savanaclaw student with green eyes, hm? Why exactly are you looking for them, if I may ask?" He tilts his head, still rummaging through the cupboard. "Reasons…?" You offer unconvincingly. "Fufufu, well, if you don't wish to tell me, I wouldn't want any student getting into trouble because of me." Jade replies, pulling out a bag of fertilizer. He easily pries Grim away from trying to get into the bag of fertilizer.

"Fygaa! You're too crazy strong dazo!" He scowls, shuffling to your side. "Can you even eat fertilizer…?" You squint at him doubtfully.

"We don't need your help then." Ace snaps, yanking you further from Jade. "Fufu, there's no need to be so wary. I'll offer you a free hint. He's an important figure in the Savanaclaw hierarchy." Jade smiles, standing up to his full height. 

Important position? You weren't quite sure what that meant. The only thing you could think was either the dorm head or the vice dorm head. You don't even know if this information is to be trusted. Before you can even thank or ask him about that, he turns toward Rook. 

"I'll be taking my leave now, thank you for allowing me to borrow this." Jade thanks Rook with a nod. "No problem, Monsieur Prémédité! Just be sure to return it when you're done." Rook beams back. 

"[Name], if you ever need any assistance or advice, the doors of Mostro Lounge are always open." Jade offers before shutting the door behind him. His heterochromia eyes twinkle with amusement and you're definitely freaked out by this guy.

"Ugh, that guy gave me the heebie-jeebies dazo!" Grim declares rather loudly. "Ah, watch it! Don't say stuff so loudly like that, you're gonna get caught!" Ace hurriedly glares at him, still glancing warily at the door. "Um, that was…interesting to say the least." You laugh nervously.

"We won't take up any more of your time now, Rook. Thank you for the information." You want to leave as quickly as possible to collect your thoughts. "Thank you so much for the help!" Deuce adds as well.

"You're welcome, Trickster!"

"I don't wanna be here any longer…" Ace grabs the both of you by the wrist and drags you out of the Science club room. "Fyga! Wait up dazo!" Grim growls, scampering after you three.

Ao3: HERE If you see it posted anywhere or by anyone else, it's not me.

[mixelation]

I have a question about the time travel Minato fic they you wrote!!!

So, I remember in Naruto that he had an ANBU guard as a kid. Do they exist in this universe? If they do, why didn’t they immediately jump the guy who’s pretending to be the 4th hokage?

Maybe they don’t actually guard him 24/7 or something?

Adding to this, was there any kind of chakra flare when Minato flashed into this universe? I’d inagine that it would take a lot of chakra to power a jutsu that would send you to other dimensions.

If there WAS a chakra flare, are there people who are tracking down Minato right now?

Oh, I meant to include a note about this and then forgot.

I am ignoring several popular fic tropes for this genre of fic. First, there is no canonical evidence that Naruto was ever persecuted in any way besides being shunned/ignored and that one time Mizuki tricked him. No one's ever hunt him down or beat him.* Second, I am using the anime or manga portrayal of his living situation (haven't decided which yet), which to me looks like an older building that's otherwise largely free of disrepair/neglect. He's not living in squalor. Third and most relevant to your question, he doesn't have a 24/7 ANBU guard. The ANBU guard thing is purely fanon, and while I don't mind it in fics and might use it in a different fic, I personally don't think it jives very well with what canon actually shows us, and I don't feel like including it as a logistical hurdle for this fic.

IIRC, the main village security is a perimeter thing. Like, they sensed Pein coming in because of some sort of perimeter, but Itachi was able to bypass it because "he knew how." Given the clusterfuck of the chunin exams, during which they knew Orochimaru was lurking and just couldn't find him, I don't think there's any canon evidence they'd be able to pick up on foreign jutsu usage that wasn't like.... loud/obvious. So Minato is accidentally in stealth mode right now. (I did intentionally make a point to describe the park as empty and poorly lit-- no one is around close enough to recognize him.)

*I did want an explanation for why Naruto is living alone at such a young age, because him living alone IS implied in the anime, but the logistics of how a small child could do that has no canon explanation. So I decided he was removed from an orphanage (which we know canon DOES have a concept of) due to abuse, and he had various caretakers visiting him until he was deemed responsible enough to care for himself. I still didn't want to lean into "comically physically abusive" so I picked some punishments that I thought a ninja village might consider fine/normal except when issued excessively.

[inspiredwriter]

*En la cuida oculta*

Leo 2018 :*respirar profundo* Aaaah~😄💨No, hay nada como una linda cita en la ciudad oculta nena 😁😉💝💗💕🌃

Stefany 2018 :*abraza el brazo de Leo* Si, Me fascina mucho tortuguita 🥰😄❣️💖💞 Pero hay un lugar donde bebé tengo sed😃😊🥤💦

Leo 2018 : claro cariño hay un puesto de malteadas😀😋🧋*acaricia a Stefany en la mejilla*Por qué no te quedas aquí mientras traigo las bebidas😏😉🥤💗💝💕

Stefany 2018 : está bien Me quedaré un rato solo no te tardes demasiado 🥰☺️💘💖💕* besa a Leo en los labios* Mmmmmuah~😚💋💝💞💗

Leo 2018 : No tardaré mi gatita de azúcar 😏😘💝💞❣️*se dirige al puesto de malteadas* ¡Regresaré pronto nena! 😆😉💖💗💕

Stefany 2018 : jajaja, eres dulce tortuguita de goma 😃🤭🩷💞💗💘*mira los carteles* cielos, hay tantos criminales místicos que fueron arrestados🤨🤔🦹Qué bueno que no hay ninguno por aquí😌💨

Leonard :*se acerca a Stefany* Oh oh, hola preciosa~😏😈💞💝no sabía que había un humana tan sexy en la ciudad🥰😉🏙️💕💖❣️*saca su peine y se peina el cabello*¿viniste sola lindura? 😘😁🪮💘💖💗

Stefany 2018 :*mirá a Leonard* No, vine sola estoy esperando a mi novio y volverá Así que no es tu problema 😡😒

Leonard : Vamos No seas así linda deja ese imbécil 🙄🤬* toma la mano de Stefany*¿por qué no vienes conmigo a divertirnos? 😁😘💝💕❣️

Stefany 2018 :*intenta liberase* Oye suéltame te dije que no iré a ningún lado contigo bravucón 😡🤬💢

Leo 2018 :*resive las malteadas* al fin a ver si mi amada les guste las malteadas místicas dice que son muy buenas 😏😁🧋🍦💖💕💘* mira a Stefany y Leonard* ¡Pero qué Rayo hace con mi chica! 😠🤨💢

Leonard : Vamos bebe tú vendrás conmigo te gustará mucho 😈😘💕💖💞*abraza a Stefany en la cintura*

Stefany 2018 :*se sonroja de ira* ahora sí me sacaste la paciencia 😳😠💢🤜*golpea a Leonard en la cara*¡No me toques y no soy tu bebé payaso! 😡🤬

Leonard :*soba su mejilla*Ay~😩😣💫pequeña mocosa cómo te atreves a golpearme😠👿💢🤛*lanza su puño a Stefany*

Leo 2018 :*agarra el brazo de Leonard* Oye ¿Qué hacer con mi novia? 🤨😠💢 intentas golpearla un idiota unca jamás golpea una chica 😡🤬👊

@inspiredwriter

Leonard: *Removes his hand and gets into a fighting stance* And you, brat, are the boyfriend of this stupid doll, right?🤬😤 Well, it won't be hard for me to hurt you😈💢

Leo 2018: I don’t care what you call me, but I won’t allow you to call my kitty stupid, much less beat her😡😤💢 *Gets into a fighting position* Stefany, you better move away, a fight is about to start here🥺😠💘💕

Stefany 2018: Oh, okay, Leo, just be careful😰😣💦💘💝❣️💕 *Hides behind the notice board*

Leonard and Leo 2018: *Fighting and puffing*

Leo 2018: *Knocks Leonard to the ground* I'm stronger than you, dumb troll😏😆

Leonard: *Takes out a razor* You shouldn't think so, small fry😖😈 *Leaves Leo a cut on his leg*

Leo 2018: *Falls to the ground* Ooow!😫 How painful it is😩😖

Stefany 2018: Oh my God, Lee!😱😰 *Takes the lid off the trash can and throws it at Leonard* Nobody dares hurt my lovely turtle!😡

Leonard: *Trash can lid hits him on the head* Ouch!!😖😵 Oh, doll, you want me to bite you, well, I'll do it🥴😈💖💓💞 *Approaches Stefany, staggering a little after being hit on the head*

Leo 2018: *Takes out a sword* Grrr, I shouldn't have spared you from the very beginning😡👿 *Creates a portal under Leonard's feet and above his head* I like that trick~😈🗡✨

Leonard: Hey, what the-😨🤨 *Falls through portal* AAAH!😱😫 HEEELP MEEE!😫💦 I'm sick...🤢😖 AAAAH!😫😩

***

Mikey 2018 and Anastasia 2018: *Walking through the underground city*

Anastasia 2018: Wow, everything here is so sparkling and magical~😃🤩🌟🌃✨

Mikey 2018: *Photos flying dragon from above* I'm glad you like it here, my pinecake😄🥰💗💘💕 *Hugs Anastasia's waist* So where would you like to go first?😏🌃💓💖❣️💞 *Kisses Anastasia on the neck* Muah~😚💘🩷💕

Anastasia 2018: Haha, well, my angel, I would really like to watch some competitions among the yokais, if they have a stadium here😍🤭🏟❣️💕 Something like baseball or football🤔😁🏏⚽

Mikey 2018: Okay, sweetie, I'll go and buy tickets for something like that😉🥰🎟🏟 But you stay here and be careful, because there may be evil yokais here🥺💝💗🩷💞

Anastasia 2018: Haha, don't worry about me, Mikey😄😘💖💝💕 *Kisses Mikey on the cheek* Muah~😚💋💓💗❣️💞 Come back asap🥰💖💕

Mikey 2018: *Goes to the box office to get tickets* I’ll try, babe, don’t be bored!😃😄💘❣️💝💕

Mickey: *Checks the trash can in the alley* Ohh, shucks, there's nothing edible here...😡😒🍿 *Looks at Anastasia and releases electric shocks* Wow, but I see a delicious cake here😍😈⚡💓💖💘💞

@swagreecrow

[ladykissingfish]

*Sasori sitting on top of a small hill and making adjustments to/cleaning Hiroku, while Deidara, Hidan and Itachi bathe in the river below*

Zetsu: *pops up out of the ground next to Sasori* Ah, here you all are. Leader sent me to check on you, as he expected everyone back hours ago.

Sasori: We ran into a dust storm on our way back. Their skin was coated in soot, so I deemed it necessary to have them clean themselves before we returned to the hideout.

Zetsu: *chuckles* “To the hideout”; who would have thought such a sentence possible several years ago?

Sasori: Mm. I’ll admit that I had my misgivings when Pein-sama voiced his desire that we all live together in a permanent residence, but, overall I believe it was a good choice. Apparently having a “home” to come back to and the promise of consistent meals has done everyone some good, mentally and physically. *points* Look at how much healthier those three look, for example. I can no longer count each of their ribs through their clothes.

Zetsu: I agree. Deidara especially. He seems so much more comfortable in his own skin, especially after you did that procedure for him.

*the two look down at Deidara, where the twin scars on his chest show as he splashes in the water*

Sasori: It was the least I could do. I know what it is, to feel as though you’re not in the right body. It’s why I turned myself into a puppet, after all. Helping him to look more the way he wanted to look … a small thing, compared to that smile he always has now.

Zetsu: He didn’t wish to cut his hair though?

Sasori: No; he adores his long hair. Spends forever taking care of it every night.

Zetsu: Mm. And the others have been supportive?

Sasori: Yes. Well, Hidan was his usual crude and tactless self at first. Told quite a few hurtful jokes. But I took him aside and helped him see the error of his ways.

Zetsu: Oh? How so?

Sasori: I simply told him that if the disrespect continued, I would wait until he fell asleep and give him a little “elective surgery” as well. In the end he decided he would like his penis to remain where it is, and NOT sewn onto his face.

Zetsu:

Happy Birthday, @denerturee 🤗🎉😘

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

I have decided our OC is a girl now in the Feral Neighbours AU. Her name is Haru. And she’s… weird.

-She grew up in a tiny village and like from a young age she was Odd. I mean she’s a reincarnation of an adult from another world who remembers shit.

-her parents died when she was 8 and she ended up fucking off with a Hunter. Hunters being those who roam the lands going after chakra enhanced animals because they’re an invasive species.

-Her teacher was a Uzumaki man who told her about caches containing Uzumaki things after making her promise to pass this info on if she ever meets a Uzumaki while dramatically dying.

-Haru “This is dumb I’m avoiding them all but okay since it’s his dying wish.” Ten years later: “FUCK”

-Haru is just… not normal. It’s partly the reincarnation thing. Partly cause her life has been fucking weird since she was born. She was raised by loving parents, her mother the local coroner and her father the local chemist. Her grandfather was probably a retired missing nin. She doesn’t know. She got raised by these three before getting swept up to roam the world while hunting with a Uzumaki who had no idea how to parent or teach.

-Haru’s dog is named Barkspawn and is the offspring of a summon and a normal dog that got abandoned cause he’s a bit different then normal pups. Haru found him and they’ve been besties ever since. He’s the only one who knows everything. He thinks the whole ‘oh god my neighbour is Kakashi’ thing is funny.

-Haru has no idea how to be civilian. She just doesn’t. She’s a Hunter who went after very dangerous animals (and sometimes minor bandits or mercenaries who needed a quick death) and has been on the move for years. She is a very good buisness woman but being a normal civilian? Ha. She would have always fallen in with Shinobi.

-Haru is 100% bisexual as fuck. She does not hide this. Which the Shinobi folk accept because ‘I might die tomorrow who cares’. The civilians… Konoha is very progressive and not everyone cares to much but there is still: expectations and shit and most assume it’s strictly until she settles down. *deranged laughter*

-Haru and Kakashi only get along cause of their dogs at first. Haru is Busy with her business and Kakashi is like ‘strange person’. It is 100% the food that draws them together. They also bond because both are just… odd. Both had Uzumaki influences and dog in their lives that affected them a lot.

-They have never thought of each other romantically and never will. Kakashi is also bisexual but Haru is just his feral neighbour/best friend.

-Shinobi get it. Civilians don’t. Or well most Shinobi who are at a certain level get it.

-Haru 100% met Kisame at a bar once and decided to hit that. She does not regret it and brags to Kakashi about it. Kakashi is amused.

-Actually I like the idea of Haru just sleeping with like most of the Akatsuki somehow. Not like Sasori or Pein but everyone else? No she doesn’t know how. She finds it funny as fuck.

-Shinobi don’t care whom you sleep with but have expectations to produce. Kakashi point blank asks Haru to have his kids in a ‘not weird way’ when they’re like 25 cause they’ve been friends since 22. Haru is fine with it but ‘let us wait for a few years dude. I am not in the right space’. Kakashi can now go: Haru is my future surrogate and ignore people bugging him.

-Haru is an Akimichi bastard but her stepdad is her dad. That’s what she cares about. She makes it clear to everyone that it’s true and people accept it. But she does learn she’s Chouza’s sister cause I like the idea of her being Chouji’s aunt and like having the future Ino-Shika-Cho running around.

-Haru is a sealing master cause I like the idea and I like the idea of her (after groaning cause fuck why is this happening) sitting down to teach Naruto her Sensei’s seals.

-Haru isn’t a ninja but has a lot of tricks of chakra and the such from being nomadic and her Sensei. He 100% taught her some ninja shit.

-Haru cannot fight. No legit she sucks at fighting unless it’s with her bow. Kakashi once tried to teach her to throw a punch. She broke a chair.

No they do NOT know how.

-Haru has ‘written’ (aka shamelessly stole and plagiarized) multiple books from her old world, edited for Naruto land. She has a photographic memory passed down from her first life…

-… is it to much if it turns out her grandad was a Uchiha who fucked off instead of join Konoha?

@anastasian-dreamer IS IT?!

[la-girlblogger-avec-toi]

Favourite song lyric <3

Top 6 (no order lol) because I can’t choose LMAO

“Anyone who ever had a heart, they wouldn’t turn around and break it, and anyone who ever played a part, oh they wouldn’t turn around and hate it”

Sweet Jane, The Velvet Underground

“When you’re growing up in a small town, there’s only one good thing about a small town, you hate it, you know you have to leave”

Small town, Lou Reed and John Cale

“Tous les garçons et les filles de mon âge se promènent par la rue deux par deux, […] oui mais moi, je vais seule, par les rues, l'aime en peine, oui mais moi, je vais seule, car personne m'aime" [all boys and girls my age walk in pairs down the street […] yes but I go alone down the streets, my soul in pain, yes but I go alone because nobody loves me]

Tous les garçons et les filles, Françoise Hardy

“Ven y cuéntame la verdad, ten piedad y dime porque, no, no, no, no! Como fue? Que me dejaste de amar? Yo aún podía soportar, tu tonta falta de querer” [Come and tell me the truth, have mercy and tell me why, no, no, no, no! How come you stopped loving me? I could have still endured your lack of loving]

Tu falta de querer, Mon Laferte

“Cuz' im not your princess, This aint a fairytale, Im gonna find someone someday, Who might actually treat me well, This is a big world, That was a small town, There in my rear veiw mirror dissapering now, And its too late for you and your white horse, Now it’s too late for you and your white horse. To catch me now.”

White Horse, Taylor Swift

“Electing strange perfections in every stranger I see, would things be easier if there was a right way? Honey, there is no right way. And so I fall in love just a little ol’ little bit every day with someone new”

Someone new, Hozier

I sing these in the shower a lot lol

Also getting this ask made my day! Ty @kdelreyyy xx<3