#pay ur child support my guy

[anteroom-of-death]

I need that fictional man to be my deadbeat baby daddy.

[maple-the-awesome]

The Chain Meets His Baby || 2/2

Part 1 ||

Pairing: Twilight, Warrior, Legend, Sky x Reader

Requested by @kieradumpzz081927: I hope your request are open(or if ur free for requests), so i saw ur LU oneshots about the one that is called ' He becames a dad ' or smth. So, why not that he would introduce his kid(s) to the chain? That ones going to be interesting Warning: Some mature jokes here and there. Nothing major, but gotta give the new dad a little hell, right? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Zelda Masterlist 🤍Fandom Masterlist

Six minutes and twenty seconds. That's how long you were able to relax before a series of knocks ruined your peace. Predictably, the sound is enough to echo throughout your small home followed by shrilling cries from the once silent cradle mere feet from your bedside. 

You could almost cry yourself, although you're able to hold in your frustrations thanks to the smoothing pat your husband gives your head before sighing heavily himself and sitting up from bed. All the two of you wanted was one second of sleep - one second to collapse in bed next to each other and rest your eyes which feel as if they haven't shut in weeks, but apparently, that's too much to ask of this universe.

After giving a quick kiss to your cheek (and smirking at your annoyed grumbling), Twilight slides off the bed and makes his way to the cradle. There, he skillfully sweeps the wiggling newborn into his arms, cooing the distressed baby loving as they make their way to the front door. Seeing as this precious child has only existed for a mere week, it can't really be too much of a surprise that your home has become a hotspot for visitors. Between the village children excitedly wanting to see their newest member and their parents stopping by to offer meals, advice, and all-around support, it seems your door is almost always open these days (not you truly mind one bit), although as it would turn out, your current company doesn't fall into the excepted categories. 

"What are you guys doing here?" Twilight suddenly doesn't feel so tired anymore once setting eyes upon the familiar group. They're all here - all eight of the heroes of courage; his treasured friends. This is, what, the third time his world has somehow crossed with theirs? This is really becoming a common pattern, isn't it, and for a split moment, Twilight feels a strike of fear at the thought of this being the start of yet another long, tiresome journey. Now!? He couldn't possibly leave now! What kind of partner and father would that make him? You need him here. He promised he'd be home for you, and for -

"- There's no danger, so don't fret. We've already investigated everything before coming here," Time, who must've read Twilight's worried expression, promptly explains things while failing to fall victim to the same jaw-dropped silence that strikes every other hero in the group as they all stare in astonishment at Twilight - or more accurately, the bothered baby huffing in his arms.

Instead of mocking surprise, Time’s eye casually drops to acknowledge the little one, his lips lifting into a pleasant smile, “...And this must be the famous pup I’ve heard so much about?”

“Wait, you knew?!” Sky gasps, everyone’s shocked attention snapping to the Old Man. He pays them no mind, too focused on his main priority of being the first to hold his great-great-something grandson who Twilight eagerly passes over.

“Ah!” The Rancher’s once worried expression changes like a switch, flashing away into an all-too excited grin. As has been common lately, having new company around immediately sparkles a rambling spiel fueled by his flooding avidity (which has impressively failed to die down even with the exhaustion of early fatherhood), “I was gonna send letters to y’all - it just slipped my mind. These past few days have been a bit chaotic while getting all adjusted. Yep, this one’s mine - lil’ Lupin. He’s officially four days old, born at 10:14 in the morning at a healthy 7.6 pounds -”

“- You’re gonna have to write all that down for any of us to remember it,” Wild rolls his eyes, although it’s in good spirit as he peeks at the tiny baby with a small smile. It doesn’t take the other boys long to notice that, like Time, their Champion doesn’t seem too surprised by this situation either, looking at the newborn with only a little bit more interest than he would a cute puppy.

“I take it you knew, too, then?” Four quizzes.

“He kept hinting towards it at first until I finally gave in and asked. I didn’t know when to expect them to be here, though.”

“It’s been nine months since then,” Twilight points out teasingly, causing Wild to huff and throw his hands up in the air defensively. 

“How should I know how long they take to bake! Besides, judging by the way you practically sent me a whole novel about how excited you were, I figured it was only going to be a matter of weeks, maybe a few months by that point. How in Hylia’s name did you stand to be like that for nine?”

“I barely did! It was hell having to be that patience, anyone here could tell you…but Lupin’s here now and definitely worth the wait, I’d say,” Twilight sighs dramatically, looking lovingly at his son who by now has settled peacefully in the comfort of Time’s arms, no longer squirming and fussing. To be fair, his ancestor does have quite a bit of practice juggling twins at this point. One is nothing.

“He’s a beautiful baby, that’s for sure,” Time chuckles, at last taking his eyes away from his newest family member, “You did good, cub.” 

Twilight preens at his mentor’s compliment, “Isn’t he? I’ve been around other babies before, but having one of my very own…It just hits different, ya’ know? …I actually wouldn’t mind a couple more -”

“- Don’t push your luck, mister,” On cue, you appear from around the corner, tiredly rubbing your eyes yet managing a smile to greet the rest of the Chain, "You weren't the one who had to go through nine months of heartburn followed by hours of torture.”

“- Eventually. I wouldn't mind a couple more ‘eventually’,” Twilight clarifies, quick to hook his arm around your waist and pull you against himself the second you’re close enough, “Besides, you handled it like a queen.”

You roll your eyes while resting your head against his shoulder, “Flattery won’t get you anywhere different.”

“That’s not what you said nine months ago~” Twilight smirks, pressing a kiss to your forehead only to earn himself a swat against the head.

Warrior originally elected to ignore the heavy knocking at his front door which threatened his peaceful morning's silence. Whatever this kingdom demands of him, they can simply add it to his tab. He's comfortable in bed where it's warm and you're snuggled in his arms, looking as beautiful as ever with a mess of bedhead and matching dark circles under your eyes. Best of all? Your son has achieved a new record of sleeping for three straight hours - THREE! 

Now, Warrior is relatively used to less-than-ideal sleep schedules as a hero and captain, so having a newborn around hasn't quite hit him with the same force as it might a typical man, but that doesn't mean either of you are going to be ungrateful towards this new parenting milestone. No, you were planning on taking full advantage of it actually, wanting nothing more than to spend a lazy morning in bed until your little monster inevitably awakes...however, it seems the universe always has other plans.

The knocking only grows more frequent and loud, drawing a groan from your fiancé who finally relents. Pushing himself out of bed, he reluctantly answers the door without much effort put into hiding his annoyed expression - that is until it naturally snaps into one of mild shock and excitement at the sight of his visitors. Instead of it being someone from the Castle or military, he's pleasantly surprised to find his old traveling companions, the other heroes of courage.

"What are you all doing here?" He suddenly doesn't feel so tired anymore, in fact he’s stricken with more life and a bright smile while gazing over the group to count each familiar face. Yep, they're all here - all eight of them. It's been so long! Well, maybe not that long. It hasn't even been a full year yet since visiting Twilight's family together, but that's still plenty of time to miss old friends.

"Well, some of us have been talking lately and we thought, why not put some time aside from our busy lives to have a little get together - just us heroes, for old times’ sake!” Wild announces enthusiastically, practically inviting himself inside, not that Warrior stops him or any of the others for that matter.

“It could be a little tradition of ours. Once a year, type of thing,” Sky explains more professionally, although he isn’t any less excited than the Champion. 

"A nice boy's trip to save you from the misses," Legend rephrases, elbowing the Captain’s side with a wink while passing by.

Warrior will admit: it is an intriguing proposal - getting away from the stresses of a hero to spend quality time with brothers who understand your woes. If only the Chain had visited a few months earlier, he’d be willing to entertain such a trip, but alas, he must give them a sympathetic smile instead, “As much fun as that sounds, I’m afraid I won’t be able to join you. At least not this time around.”

Immediately, the group’s uplifted smiles drop into disappointed frowns emphasized by a chorus of dejected groans. 

"You knights and all your fancy work kissing the royal family’s ass," Legend huffs, and Warrior was just about to bite back on that comment with a jab of his own, however their conversation is suddenly interrupted. 

A piercing cry catches the entire Chain off guard, many of the boys looking around wildly for the possible threat while others - namely Time and Twilight - are jolted by that familiar protective instinct they know all too well of from their own home lives.

“Actually, there’s another reason,” Warrior doesn’t hide his amusement towards everyone’s reactions nor does he hide his tired sigh once realizing his free trial of peace-and-quiet has ended. 

He doesn’t even make it to the doorway before you appear, already rocking the baby gently in your arms. It takes some fussing from both of you to smooth his tears, calming him down just long enough for Warrior to turn back to his friends while proudly gesturing to the newborn in your arms, “Well, allow us to introduce our son, Einar.”

From there, it takes mere seconds for the Chain to snap out of it and instantly crowd you both, each fighting to get a good look at this ‘son’ in question.

“Since when did you guys have a kid?!” Hyrule awes.

“He’s so little…He can’t be that old, right?” Sky gasps.

“Only a few weeks, I reckon,” Time observes calmly from the back, tall enough to simply gaze over the sea of shoulders and heads. 

“Hey, move out of the way! I can’t see! I wanna see, too!” Wind whines, shrugging to push his way through the barrier of bodies.

Twilight, steps back from the chaos to throw a playful smirk Warrior’s way, “Here I thought you were waiting for kids.”

“Us too,” You roll your eyes.

“Life happens,” Your partner merely shrugs, not even attempting to act ashamed of himself as he accepts responsibility of holding Einar while you excuse yourself to prepare a bottle once he starts whimpering again, “But we wouldn’t trade him for the world.”

“Geeze, you’re all getting old on us,” Legend mocks, eyeing Warrior, Time, and Twilight, “Not even three years ago, the Old Man was the only one of us in a committed relationship, now all three of you are suddenly tied down with children!”

“Don’t go sounding too jealous, Vet. I’m sure you’ll have your turn someday,” Warrior smirks, resulting in the other hero sticking out his tongue in disgust.

“As if. Me? A dad? You sure the world should be subjected to that?”

“Right. You might actually be doing everyone a favor by not reproducing.”

“Oh fuck off -”

“- Shh! Not in front of the baby!”

“I, for one, wouldn’t mind being a dad one day. It seems like a lot of fun,” Sky, coos, letting little Einar play with his finger, “If you ever need a babysitter, just let me know.”

"Careful. We might end up taking you up on that offer with how little we've been sleeping lately."

"Get accustomed to it, my friend, because it doesn't go away anytime soon," Time advises with a pat to the back, failing to hide the mirth filtering his voice as the new father sighs exasperatedly.

Legend isn’t usually the type to delight himself with hosting guests, nor is he much of an initiator when it comes to any sort of social interaction, so suffice to say, the Chain was rather thrown to have received unprompted invites to visit his world and home. Why the sudden open door? He gave no explanation, leaving all of the boys guessing, although Time has a few notable theories swirling in mind.

It all goes back to months ago when Legend had unexpectedly appeared at Lon Lon Ranch, claiming to have simply ‘been in the area’, yet Time knew better than to believe that. An experienced man like himself immediately took notice of his friend’s frazzled and irritable mood, such a state of dishevelment hinting towards one thing: problems at home - problems likely relating to you, to be exact, seeing as your boyfriend was swift to avoid any mention of your name when prompted.

Realizing that prying would be ineffective against someone so notorious for his emotional barriers, Time had allowed Legend to stay with him and his family without question. He, of course, kept a close eye on the young man, trying to deduce the situation the best he could from all those frustrated grumbles while working chores and pitiful sighs as the two sat together on the back porch after dinner. 

It was then that Legend had taken the moment to ask Time a rather odd question that had admittedly hung in the Old Man’s head for days afterwards along with a curious conclusion as to the true reason behind his sudden visit, however nothing more was said that night beyond some wisely woven words soaked in hidden meaning.

By morning, the veteran hero was visibly relaxed when quietly expressing his plans to return home to you. Clearly, whatever troubles that once plagued his mind had been resolved following a day of reflection and a goodnight’s sleep, so Time felt confident sending Legend back on his way with a wish of luck and an offer to return whenever needed.

Perhaps that incident and this friendly invite are unrelated, after all, it’s been months between the two, although Time can’t help but wonder, the memory of Legend’s question being of particular interest as the Chain approaches their destination. 

Some of the boys share their concerns along the way, a bit unsettled by the thought of Legend wanting to see them. Warrior even suggests the possibility of their friend having gone through a bad break-up, insisting there’s logic behind his guess since losing you would be the Vet’s lowest point, the extreme heartache being enough for him to abandon all stubbornness and reach out to the Chain for moral support. Arguments deemed his theory outlandish, however when Legend opens his front door to greet them, the boys begin to worry Warrior might indeed be a good prophet…

“It took you all long enough,” He huffs, his voice worn and scratchy which really sends home his obvious lack of sleep when paired with his unkempt appearance; heavy bags under his eyes and shaggy hair that stands up on all ends, “Come in, come in…”

‘Oh Hylia!’ The Chain thinks, sorrow for their friend already sinking into their bones as they illy prepare themselves for a story of true despair. Yes, Legend can be difficult and stubborn at times, and maybe you had your reasons, but surely he couldn’t have messed up bad enough to warrant you leaving him! Hasn’t the poor guy already been through enough?

“...Hey man, you doing alright?” Warrior was just about to rip the bandage off, his hand placed supportively upon his friend’s shoulder which earned him a sleepy look that falls sort of its intended glare, however before he can get any reply -

“- BABY!” Wind’s gasp pierces ears and makes several of the others leap in their skin. Indeed, if following the youngest hero’s excited point, it'll lead to where you stand in the doorway with an amused (that be it tired) chuckle…So, you didn’t leave after all? You’re still here, looking as rough as your partner which is probably excusable since in your arms is, in fact, a new baby.

“Hello everyone. I’m glad you could all make it.”

“...Oh thank Hylia you didn’t leave him!”

“What -?” Legend raises an eyebrow at Warrior’s dramatic sigh, yet he doesn’t get much of a chance to be offended. No one would notice anyway, their attention having swiftly abandoned their dear old friend in exchange for you and the baby you introduce.

“His name is Liron,” You note, earning a chorus of awes as the sweet little bundle scrunches his tiny face in displeasure towards the disruption to his peaceful sleep; already, he looks so much like his dad.

“So this is why you invited us over, huh?” Hyrule glances back over the sea of shoulders to send Legend an amused smile, “We thought something bad might’ve happened!”

“We wanted it to be a surprise…” The Vet sighs, unable to stay mad at the group’s energy, after all they have every right to be amazed. His son is pretty damn beautiful. 

“Well, I’ll be darn. You gotta kid now,” Twilight smirks, even going as far as to elbow Legend’s side which, as always, packs more strength than probably intended, “And after all that hell you gave us!”

“Yeah, yeah, karma's a bitch. Laugh it up - HEY! Wash your hands first!” Legend’s focus is immediately diverted from rubbing his sore ribs to pointing an accusing finger at Wild who’s stopped mid-reach from taking the baby you pass towards him.

"I did!" The Champion gasps in offense.

“Not here you didn’t. Do it again! Sinks in the kitchen!”

Wild grumbles, forced to forfeit his turn in holding the baby. A glare is all it takes for Hyrule to follow him shamefully as well, allowing Time to be the first to actually hold the little one since his hands successfully pass cleanliness approval. Nevertheless, despite his spotless palms and seasoned experience as a father himself, the older hero must put up with Legend's paranoid hovering which isn't too unlike a hawk's, ready to snatch back his baby at a second's notice if deeming the situation to be too ‘unsafe’. Fortunately, Time's nice enough not to mention this behavior beyond a silent smirk.

“...What went through your head when you realized you were going to be a dad?”

Now Legend’s question - as random as it had seemed those many months ago - makes complete sense. The timid whisper that spoke it, the nervous avoidance of any eye contact, and that deep, thoughtful frown while listening to Time’s honest answer - all signs that pointed towards a worried father-to-be desperate for direction as he fought to keep his own insecurities and fears at bay.

At least Time can finally rest easy knowing their past conversation did some good for his friend. The young man may be fidgeting while impatiently watching his new child be passed around the group for each to see, your gently hand upon his shoulder only doing so much to relax his anxieties. You’re also both beyond tired, fitting to Time’s warning that parenthood is by far the most difficult journey one can ever take, yet there’s a switch of softness that overtakes Legend’s expression the second your son begins to mumble his disapproval, apparently fed up with all this attention that he’s receiving. 

In an instant, Legend’s there, stealing back the small infant and clumsily doing his best to smooth such sharp cries. Yes, it’s difficult and nerve wracking to become a parent, especially for the first time, but to see all of your efforts throughout the years take form into such a beautiful and amazing being of pure innocence…that’s the most rewarding adventure yet, something Legend’s clearly already beginning to realize himself. 

Sky's been practically bursting at the seams all day - well, all week, to be more accurate - but today is especially special since you’re both expecting a visit from some of his closest friends, the other heroes of courage who haven’t been by Skyloft in far too long.

Seeing as their reunion has been so long overdue, it should be no surprise that your dear husband has been bubbling with eager anticipation all morning (long before the sun had even risen thanks to your shared lack of a proper sleep schedule). While he does genuinely miss his old traveling companions, a majority of his restlessness comes from wanting to share some exciting news about a recent ‘development’ in your lives, one he’s had to hold himself back from spoiling in their routine letters (which are shared far more often than in-person visits).

Before you can even process the knock at your front door, Sky is already darting across the room to answer it, matching the delighted smile worn by all the other boys. He eagerly ushers them inside, his impatience finally spilling over by this point, something he can’t help. As already mentioned, he’s been waiting for this moment for quite a while - and has dreamed about for far longer than a simple ‘while’. 

You can only chuckle at how quickly you’re swarmed by curious eyes, the other heroes not hesitating to stand and kneel around your chair just to catch a glimpse of the tiny bundle you cradle. To say it took them off guard would be the understatement of a century. It completely knocked them off their feet to realize what you're holding and what Sky’s excitement has been all about!

It’s a baby - a tiny newborn with puffy cheeks and itty-bitty hands balled into fists! She doesn’t even look real, or perhaps this whole situation itself just doesn’t feel real. In the Chain’s defense, it’s been years since Sky and you announced your intentions of starting a family of your own. Unfortunately, your struggles in achieving this goal became no secret, and your friends had begun to slowly lose hope with you. They truly worried the day might never come which explains their complete awe now. 

“Her name’s Azure,” You tell them, wiping away the tears that bubble in the corners of your eyes. Curse these hormones! Your daughter is already a few days old yet you still cry each time you see another’s reaction to her. Can you be blamed? It only solidifies the reality that this is, in fact, your baby. Sky and you are officially parents!

“Congratulations, man!” Warrior throws an arm over your husband’s shoulder and pulls him close into a side hug, “You’ve earned it!”

Sky shares his laughter with a shake of his head, his eyes immediately drifting to yours, “My wife deserves most of the credit. She’s the one who endured all those long and tiresome months to get little Azure here.”

“And you took amazing care of us both throughout every second,” You point out just as quickly with a gentle smile, “I couldn’t have asked for a better partner to go through this with.”

“Now we’ll have to start planning some playdates with all our kids. Let ‘em tire each other out,” Twilight points out, giving Sky’s other side a nudge with his elbow.

“Maybe being around Azure will get Hope to stop asking for a sibling for a while,” Hyrule sighs exhaustively. 

“Yeah, no, that has the exact opposite effect. Trust me,” Legend huffs with crossed arms.

Wind’s hand pops out from somewhere in the back of the crowd, only seen as he eagerly tries to jump up and down to gain attention, “Oh-Oh, Tetra and I can babysit if you ever need it!”

“I didn’t think she even liked kids?”

“She ‘likes’ kids, she just doesn’t like being ‘around’ them,” Wind rolls his eyes at Legend’s comment as if the reason isn’t obvious, “But she said she’s been wanting to get better with them to practice the whole ‘being a nice princess’ thing -”

“- All of that can come later,” Time swiftly interrupts the wandering conversation, “I’m sure as new parents, these two would appreciate rest above all else for now. There’ll be plenty of time for playdates later down the line.”

“We’ll definitely set some up once Azure is old enough,” Sky chuckles in agreement before kneeling by your side to help fix the blanket around your sleeping daughter. Although there’s quite a bit of time until then, the idea of finally being able to participate in such arrangements is exciting to you both. No more standing on the sidelines feeling out of place with your hearts’ yearning. You’ll finally be able to share the joy all of your friends feel.

“You both look like happy parents. Congratulations,” You preen at Time’s compliment, looking to each other through tears in your eyes which then drop to Azure who snuggles closer to you, blissfully unaware of the effect she already has on your hearts as she merely enjoys the comfort of your loving embrace. Your most special treasure, indeed…

[ba9go]

being miya atsumu’s no. 1 cheerleader

miya atsumu does not need a fanclub when he has you.

miya atsumu x fem!reader; pre-game shenanigans means holding atsumu’s hand when he has to lock in and also flirting with him to rile him up on the bus ride!

both my exes are volleyball players and let me tell u these volleyball men walk around carrying such huge egos but at the end of the day, they still fall at ur feet when u say the simplest things to them… so cute lol i wanna step on them

the miya atsumu fanclub is notorious for being loud and utterly obsessed with the inarizaki setter.

it was a little funny at first, hearing their poorly-concealed squeals whenever he stepped onto the court. but damn, did it get annoying real quick.

on the bus ride, atsumu seems calm. he’s holding your hand, and he has his earphones in, even though you know he’s not actually listening to anything. he’s so uncharacteristically quiet during the 30-minute drive to the stadium, it’s almost scary, but you know it’s because there’s only one thing in his mind right now.

winning.

atsumu sits facing towards the window, but you know he isn’t looking at the blur of scenery and cars driving past. no, atsumu is focused right now. he’s in his head, thinking about the game, from the very moment he steps onto the court to when he’s finally leaving the stadium with yet another win.

the bus pulls into the parking lot and already, there’s a horde of fangirls crowding outside the stadium entrance, ready to ask for signatures and selfies.

atsumu finally tears his gaze from the window with a harsh click of his tongue, and you can’t help but laugh at his antics.

“i hate mosquito season,” atsumu says through gritted teeth, crossing his arms like a petulant child, and you know he’s not talking about insects. “i can’t stand em, seriously! these pests.”

"don’t be like that,” you scold lightly, patting his thigh twice. “be nice to your supporters.”

“but they’re so annoyin’! even as supporters, it’s like they’re cheerin’ jus’ to throw me off ma game!” atsumu pouts, and there it is, your chance to butter him up and really rile him up for the game.

“nothing can throw you off your game, ‘tsumu,” you say sweetly, reaching up to cup his face in one hand. atsumu leans into your touch immediately. “you’re better than that.”

“yer right,” atsumu smirks, placing his hand over yours to guide it to the back of his neck for you to comb your fingers through his hair. “‘sides, s’hard to pay them any attention when yer here, doll.”

“yeah? you like it when i watch you play, ‘tsumu?” you tug a little at atsumu’s hair, just the way he likes it, and it has him leaning forward until his head is resting on your shoulder and his face is pressed into your shirt.

“i love it. yer my lucky charm, babe. my darlin’ cheerleader. don’t need any of those pigs squealin’ f’me when i got my pretty girl ta support me.”

“i can never take my eyes off you, atsumu,” you murmur softly, and you mean it. atsumu always looks so good on court, doing what he loves most. he carries his passion for volleyball everywhere with him, but the court is where it truly shines through, where his hard work finally pays off.

atsumu’s a proud guy, with an ego bigger than most, and yet he melts at your words and keens at your touch.

“ya mean it?” atsumu tilts his head to the side to look at you, and you grin.

“you don’t believe me?” you ask, and atsumu grins and shrugs. “hmm, how about this. i’ll help coach take down team stats* today. i’ll give you a kiss for every service ace today.”

"god, yer the best. yer comin’ ta all my games from now on.”

“you’ll lose your fangirls, y’know,” you say, half-jokingly.

“don’t need em,” atsumu says, completely serious. he grins wildly at you. “yer all i need.”

atsumu had no shame breaking the hearts of his fangirls walking into the stadium with your hand in his, but the cherry on top was definitely the way he pointed at you before every serve. (he got 16 service aces that match.)

i miss volleyball… i miss competition szn… siiiiiigh

*team stats r like a lil sheet of paper for the coach to take down n keep track of every player’s performance in a match. points scored, mistakes, for spiking, receiving, setting, blocking, all that stuff. my ex used to come to my games and help me take down stats for me (and my whole team) so we could review my games tgt

[two-white-butterflies]

this feeling flows both ways | m33

Description: Twitter's reaction to the relationship. Y/N and Tony Stark feud. Max has newfound fame.

part two of do i wanna know?

Pairing: max verstappen/nepo-baby!reader

starkfamilysupremacy: 'this fact is disputed' i'm sobbing 😭 - ironmanisbatman: he had to call elon up

steverogerssupremacy: i love their relationship

maxverstappen1: A little rest before the Austrian GP. #OrangeArmy

890 comments 912,128 likes

y/n_stark: the y/n effect is real - maxverstappen1: 😇💪🏽

tony: Stark Industry's New Venture '16

129 comments 294,290 likes

eattherichfoundation: sick and tired of seeing billionaires 🤮

bombasticsideeye12: The entire campaign sucks lol

oneinsertgal55: see if he actually helped the poor instead of staying a billionaire i'd actually support him but like

y/n_stark: beautiful! 🥰

comments have been restricted.

MAX VERSTAPPEN REVEALS INTERESTING DINNER WITH TONY STARK. by racecar1 interviews.

Max Verstappen: I mean honestly at first, I was a little nervous. I don't talk to superheroes everyday. It was a little adorable at first, according to my sweet girlfriend. I couldn't stop asking [Mr. Stark] about the Battle in New York and of course, his superhero co-workers. But then it sorta moved to more difficult parts, I felt like a superhero fighting a villain in that moment - but of course Tony is not a villain. He's a nice guy. Oh gosh, I've said too much.

Interviewer: Was there ever some threatening? Because a lot of people in social media joke about the billionaire being protective of his only child.

Max Verstappen: No, not at all. [laughs] that's all I'm allowed to say.

y/nfans

from "i'll bring her home at 6 sir!" to "she calls me daddy too"

82 comments 9,294 likes

y/n_stark: THIS IS LEGIT

vivlorien6: Max Chadstappen 🥶

archiemenon: Pretty sure that he EATS the rich 🥶

y/n_stark: NO BCS WHAT IS THIS 😭 Pls don't turn my bf into one of those sigma alpha males 🙏🏻 (will delete later, ruins my feed.)

823 comments 45,692 likes

LandoNorris: Don't show me your attitude, if I show mine...you might forget yours 😏 - y/n_stark: this one is actually better -- y/n_stark: MY ACCOUNT WILL BE A MAX VERSTAPPEN MEME PAGE FOR THE NEXT 24 HRS.

y/n_stark: pov ur my dad after making his first suit

89 comments 258,129 likes

maxverstappen1: my heart

tony: pov ur my dad after making me* - y/n_stark: bro had to put oil in his body for his parts to work

user99: SHE'S CORNY UR HONOR

y/n_stark: yes to today, yes to yesterday, and yes to tomorrow. tagged: maxverstappen1

928 comments 456,293 likes

Charles_Leclerc: Congratulations!

maxverstappen1: Mrs. Verstappen soon 🧡💙 - y/n_stark: yes to that too 💗

tony: congratulations are in order! 🥂

maxverstappen1: I'd like to hang out with you, all my life. 💗

0 comments 1,283,120 likes

comments are restricted.

Y/N STARK REVEALS STUNNING ENGAGEMENT RING: TONY STARK'S REACTION.

Y/N Stark: Max is a very traditional man. He pays for everything. He's a willing provider. When it came to our engagement, he asked my dad if he was allowed to propose. I wasn't in the room when he asked.

Tony Stark: He was cute with his European accent. He didn't have to work to have my approval. He asked and I gave it.

Y/N Stark: You didn't ask him if his intentions were pure?

Tony Stark: I believe that I should be asking you, but - we had a serious talk about marriage and Max is a good guy. He'll keep her safe and feed her through the long winter.

Y/N Stark: Gosh, another game of thrones quote.

Tony Stark: Comes with the name.

[partycatty]

im genuinely curious what ur take on a pregnancy scare with ds johnny would be cuz i personally can see him being all like "fuck yeahh i bred u haha ur mine fr now" but like he'd be an AWFUL father (imo) LMFAO

cranking this one out rq to answer your question, just gonna answer it instead of writing about it

dark star!johnny cage > pregnancy

CW: discussions of abortion & sex, ds!jc is a piece of shit

part 1* / part 2* / part 3* / part 4* / part 5*

[ masterlist ]

while i don't own the concept of the order of darkness johnny, my specific rendition of dark star!johnny would not want to have children.

i need you guys to remember that this version of him is a manipulative, abusive, narcissistic POS!

he's young, he's spry, he's a party man, and he would be fully convinced that a child would be a waste of time.

protection during sex feels like a workload to him so he'd often hit it raw, yet still become a disaster when your pregnancy test turns up positive.

he'd make you take five, ten, fifteen more before he's convinced. he'd accuse you of baby trapping. screaming matches so loud you both get migraines.

being a celebrity, johnny would pay you under the table to take care of it. that's how he would word it, too. "just get it done, and not a single fucking word to the press." his reputation is more important than a potential family life.

now let's say hypothetically you end up having a child with him. johnny would try to be a decent parent in his own stupid way, but in the way that a Man would. he'd call it babysitting, pretend like he's doing you a favor and giving you a night off. johnny would sit down and talk to the kid as if he was an adult, speaking professionally and quirking a brow when the baby would simply coo in response. how the hell do you talk to a baby? he'd pick up extra jobs, extra outings just to be away from the crying for a night after a while.

he'd tickle their chin like they were a dog, crouching down and going eye level with them. the baby would stare back with large eyes, and a part of him tears apart inside knowing he wouldn't be able to provide the kid with the emotional support they'd need. he decides that quickly, absolutely, as if there's no way to change that outcome.

they have his nose, and your eyes, but a mixture of your lips and his. he couldn't deny that the baby was cute, but he'd rather admire the cuteness than manage it. johnny would try to show off his admiration by releasing adorable photoshoots of the baby in onesies or wicker baskets, but then you'd argue that you don't want your child's face plastered all over hollywood. you don't want your baby to grow up to be like their daddy.

johnny'd be the credit card of the family. he'd fund the clothes, toys, medical bills, insurance, food, but you'd be the one in the store. he'd just flick his card at you and tell you to take care of whatever seems to be wrong.

even still, when the press would ask about his child, he'd beam and grin and even let some crocodile tears flow about how happy he is to have a little boy/girl with his wonderful partner.

and you'd be stuck at home with eye bags and the same clothes you'd been wearing for days, feeding the child and wondering when he'll be home.

[redrandomposts]

Sorry this is out of the blue but ur au’s are always so good and I NEED ur thoughts on an ivantill abo concept that has been haunting me-

Pls consider:

Till is a traveling musician and Ivan is a model who has a brief stint in music, (which is how the main two meet) Till alpha and is the rebellious type and completely against settling down with an Omega and having a normal white picket fence life. He frequently complains about this with his close friend Ivan, and one day asks Ivan if he would be chill having a no commitment hook up to blow off steam. Ivan (who is obviously In love with him but till isn’t paying attention) says yes very enthusiastically. they hook up, and then till like a week later leaves for his tour. When till comes back he finds that Ivan is like heavily pregnant- (and is maybe a little jealous of whoever caused that) and is like hey who’s the dad are u in a relationship. (It is obviously a result of the hookup since that’s just how things go) And Ivan not wanting to tie till down and make him “take responsibility “ (he doesn’t want to be an obligation to till but a choice) lies and says he knows who the dad is but they abandoned him so he’s going the single parent route.

And Till being a good friend is like “dam sounds like a shithead- lemme like help u out while I’m still in town” and proceededs to start taking care of Ivan (all the while pissed as hell at the “random guy” who would do this to Ivan and leave him all alone) and he steps into a pseudo partner role while doing so. (And they constantly get mistaken for a couple) So till is accidentally taking care of and supporting his own kid- and hyjinx ensue until the kid is born and things obviously get revealed.

how to tell till hes a father without telling him he's a father:

LMAOO this is insanely funny (and heartbreaking for ivan) and i 100% agree with this. i love this prompt!!

till constantly hounding ivan to get an abortion and sue the father? i think so.

ivan being featured in pregnancy magazines and whatnot? front cover, nonetheless? absolutely.

anyway, i think till would be insanely jealous, especially as he acts as ivan's mate, and unwittingly he spends way too much time imagining that he was the father and they'd settle down (kind of) together raising the child.

when till finds out, they figure their shit out and get married in about a week. a grand ceremony for the fams and a smaller one for friends and family. (yall cannot convince me ivan did not have the weddings planned over the course of his pregnancy (and before that, too)).

other people's reactions: luka is also pregnant. idk man, its all the rage these days (i cannot step a single inch without seeing him pregnant, guys. you can decide if it's a random guy, hyuna, or hyunwoo(?)). ivan and luka gossip, and this only intensifies once they give birth.

mizi kindly tells till to make up for the months he were gone and the months he leaves ivan without a bond. sua... is not so kind. the shovel talk, except its a bulldozer yell.

ty for bringing this concept to my attention!!

[jackhues]

new au idea (m.tkachuk!daughter) lmk ur thoughts!!

on december 17th, 2019, delilah/lilah was born. matthew has just turned 22 a few days ago, and he didn't want a kid. he told mom he'd pay for child support, but he didn't want to be a part of her life because he was too young, he was too into hockey.

he never bought any presents for her, simply sent a monthly stipend to mom bcz he didn't want any attachment. he gave a little more money than needed to mom, but it still wasn't much to him.

his parents weren't super happy, but they live with his decision. brady and taryn fought with him for a while, but then decided that she's their niece even if he doesn't want to be the dad. uncle brady and aunt taryn are a part of delilah's life and she loves them.

mom has a history of drug abuse, but she'd been clean for a few years when she met matthew. she'd collect the extra money he gave, promising it's for a bday present for lilah, but she ended up giving up and relapsing. she did this a few times, but no one found out and she always promised herself it'd be the "last time".

on april 5th, 2023, (lilah's 3) when brady went to visit mom and lilah in florida while he was versing his brother, he found mom high out of her mind. he basically ran in the house looking for lilah, and found her crying in a corner behind her bed, too scared to get out. brady took her and left.

he called matthew, who didn't pick up, so he ended up driving straight to his house. matthew opened the door and saw brady with a kid and was so confused until brady was like "it's your kid. this is delilah."

matthew's pissed like "why tf would you bring her here? i've already talked to her mom, we've got an agreement--"

"does that agreement still hold when she's high out of her mind?" brady asked. "when she's scared lilah so much she didn't want to come out from her corner behind the bed?"

and matthew's like ...shit. he looks at lilah, who's pretending to be asleep soundly in brady's arms and he doesn't know what to do anymore.

brady puts lilah on matthew's bed and is like to him, "look, idc what your problem is with having a kid. but her mom's got some issues, and at least until she works them out, you gotta watch her. she's your kid." and when matthew looks unconvinced, he adds, "yk what? if you don't want her, fine. but you're still her dad, and legally, her guardian. i need you to watch her until taryn or i can get custody."

and matthew snaps out of it and he's like, "i don't need one of you guys to take custody. she's my kid. i've got her."

and brady's shocked bcz that's the first time matthew's acknowledged it, but he's feeling accomplished, so he heads out.

matthew looks at lilah sleeping in his much too big bed and is like, "brady's gone. are you still gonna pretend to be asleep?"

and lilah opens her eyes and sits up, looking matthew in the eyes. she doesn't ask him if he's her dad, she doesn't ask him where she is, she simply goes, "are you gonna keep me away from mommy?"

matthew sighs and lilah flinches (which breaks his heart) but he sits on the floor and is like, "your mommy is not feeling good right now. until the doctors can get her better, until she can get herself better, you'll be staying with me."

and lilah's like, "i don't wanna go back to mommy. she's scary. can i stay with you? you're uncle brady's brother, right? my dad?"

and matthew doesn't know how to answer the first question, so he just nods and goes, "yeah, i'm your dad. and i know you've got a hundred more questions, but right now, you need to sleep, okay? you had a long day."

"can i hold your hand?" lilah asks. "mommy ripped apart my bernie (a stuffy she has) and now i need to hold something."

so matthew scooches a little closer and let's lilah wrap her tiny fingers around his hand and she falls asleep for real this time.

and for the first time, matthew's feeling this connection with a kid he never even saw, and he's like "i'm not letting anyone hurt you like that again, i promise."

let me know what you guys think of this :))

EDIT: this is now an au, here's the navigation page!

[spookky-aint-spooky]

*pops into your inbox*

Heya!! If you don't minnnd… I would like to know more about your OCs pleassse!!! ✨💖 :)

Okay, sorry buhbye!

Noo don't apologize I'm glad to see you :D

I'm not exactly 100% sure what to talk about so ur getting rambles and bios lol sorry (songs I mention are linked)

Aduna (Moth Demon, HH OC)

-✨ very very fluffy ✨

- Brazilian

- Trilingual (fluent in English, Portuguese and Spanish)

- Overlord (kinda??) with a decent amount of territory in the Entertainment District

- Like a mini overlord if that makes sense

- Artist and singer

- Her post-finale theme song is prob "A Pearl" by Mitski

- Vox's ex and #1 slanderer lmao

Sabrina (Fishcubbus, HB OC)

- Leviathan's estranged kid (long lost daughter of royalty trope go brrr-)

- Only reason she didn't know he was her Dad was because she was the result of a one-night stand lol (praying for her even tho I'm the one that controls her lore 😭)

Has a trident for some reason, can summon it like Charlie can summon her pitchfork (the cousins are twinning ✨💅)

- Absolutely loves swimming/the water, feels really connected to the Envy Ring where she was born

- Her theme is either Little Wolf or Fish Inside A Birdcage (prob the latter)

- Her main story arc is basically just her Dad saying "I'll pay my child support if you bring back these criminals"

- Gets kidnapped by Striker at some point but idk when exactly

Vincent (Gravity Falls OC, my silly gay boy)

- The OC most based off of myself lol

- Raging bisexual

- A transmasc creature

- Chaotic Neutral

- Surprisingly knows how to play DD&MD despite not even having a highschool diploma (he needs to go back to school 😭)

- Favorite flavor of ice cream is cotton candy

- Likes musicals. Refuses to take Epic the Musical and Hazbin Hotel songs of his playlist

- Speaking of, he introduced both those musicals to Ford and that six-fingered nerd has not been the same since

- Theme song is definitely either Stick It To The Man or Timber

Nyx (my other HH OC, literally my first ever fandom character I made 😭)

- QPR w/ the fishy boi (Baxter)

- ✨sKatEr GuRl 🤪✨ but like in a "she will fall flat on her face and look stupid doing it but still think she looks cool" kind of way

- The venom in her scorpion tail isn't very toxic with just a simple jab, but it sure can hurt like Hell if she can keep her stinger under the skin

- Absolute fucking gremlin, refuses to exist anywhere without causing a problem lol

- Has probably sung "Open Arms" to Baxter at least once

Has a very loose contract with Velvette, which is why she has her gold glowing eye (symbolism ig ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯)

Cherry Pitt (Cuphead OC)

- Another trans man because ✨ projection ✨

- Sold his soul for safety and security after his orchard got wrecked by a storm

- He has since restored said orchard

- Lives on Isle One

- CuNtRy BoI

- Proud gun owner (should not be a proud gun owner)

- Childhood buddy of the cup bros; rekindled their friendship post-game

- I like to imagine that his weapons he uses in his boss fight are cherry bombs (cherry pun lmao)

- Def a Morgan Wallen fan

- Has the personality of the guy that makes noise complaints for a party several blocks down

KK that's all I really got tysm for the ask :D

[catgirlmissy]

I'm putting this under read more bc it's stupid

that being said the second u arent on ur lil corner of the internet and u realise what it looks like when u have a favourite character that isnt conventionally attractive/is non-human its like. Oh

i am a fan of nuance as well but it feels very normal when there is a big thread on why putting a magic equivalent of a shock collar on your child and banishing them to live in a dirty sewer for eternity does not count as child abuse actually and was done out of love actually and it feels very normal when people will bend over backwards to minimise or even justify the part of the narrative where someone hurts them despite the game basically screaming at you that it was a wrong doing regardless of if you even chose to engage with that part of the quest

"um mohg still killed people so actually u cant feel bad for him whatsoever" me when i open a killing people game and characters kill people: no.... that can't be..... i have never seen anyone act that way around let's say messmer but okay . i wonder why that is /s . Going to start commenting um actually he killed people under every cute art of him I see and see how annoying that gets quickly

it is not that deep but you guys need to understand how deeply annoying this is to me, it feels like people are reading him for a beast and not like. a character. which like. narratively he is literally just a guy. I know if u don't give a fuck about a character ur not going to engage with the text the same way as someone who does especially when it's this specific type of writing to asks of you to do a certain amount of gap filling work (it's written like this on purpose) BUT I beg of thee he's not. An animal 😭

escaping a system which mistreated me but i cannot imagine one which functions with a different structure so i am just rebuilding it with myself on top - oh mohgys also so much like his mom actually. no but like... a palace really, and a set of appointed nobles and a very persistent focus on knight culture... okay silly. sure thing. creating my own thing (it looks very much like the thing that should've been mine by birthright but i was denayed)

Is he not the funniest nepotism baby of all time. The fact that his great rune is completely soaked in blood but he still /has one/ is like an equivalent of taking your family's money only to start a rival company . Is he not hilarious that way

He should've been accountant he's so good at streamlining blood sacrifices, getting war surgeons to basically pay blood taxes to you, not that I support kidnapping and blood rituals but that's clever you have to give him that. Can you imagine you are just vibing and suddenly there is a diety above your head like hello. You are under my patronage now. Welcome. No you cannot opt out.

Also this

And the fact that he's wearing a fancy little robe with such detailed embroidery whilst ruling over 2 piles of rocks on fire and 14 people is also just incredible . And he'd name everything after himself if given a chance he's so funny I love that guy

Sorry chat for rambling but like there isn't a bond greater than a random guy and a souls boss with 4 lines of dialogue that you meet in game long after they've lost themself in one way or another I have like 1928181 thoughts at all times he lives in my head rent free and so do sir ansbach and the rest of the mohgwyn npcs and his much less attractive twin brother but I also have a job. And therfore. I ought to go. Blowing a kiss to my beautiful wife

[vouam]

just found this guy’s answer to a question on quora (“is misandry a problem in the US?” or something of that nature) and was wondering what your reaction to it would be. there are some points i wouldn’t be sure how to refute, though it’s certainly not enough to change my radfem beliefs lol. i’ll copy and paste it since i can’t send ss in anon

Q:“is misandry prevalent in today’s society?”

A:“I would say so.

Woman: doesn't want a child so she secretly aborts it.

Man: doesn't want a child and is forced to pay child support for 18 years while being ridiculed as a dead beat dad

Woman: my body, my choice

Man: has his genitals forcibly mutilated for no good reason at birth

Woman: free drinks at the club on ladies night

Man: there is no men's night. Drink prices increase to cover all the free drinks ladies get

Woman: oh please keep yourself safe

Man: forced to sign up for selective services (a.k.a. draft) at 18.

Woman: complains about low paying job

Men: 67% of work place injuries happen to men, 93% of work place fatalities happen to men. No one bats an eye

Woman: mostly automatically given custody of children no matter what

Men: you can see your children on the weekend only and pay for child support

Man: simply accused of abusing a woman and goes straight to jail.

Woman: beats the man senseless and if the man defends himself goes to jail. If he doesn't defend himself he still might go to jail or if he is lucky police will tell him to quit making a big deal about it. Has 1 place in the country to go to for sheltering battered men despite the fact that women are the perpetrators of domestic violence some 40% of the time. Woman, have countless battered women shelters to go to.

Man: gets raped by woman at gun point being forced to give oral sex and held captive for days. Society has a good laugh

Woman: gets raped and her perpetrator is rightfully punished. No one is laughing about it. Woman gets psychological help and all kinds of assistance from society. Also if she makes false accusations of rape, ruining a man's life, no one says a thing about it and she is free to go on accusing.

Men: penalties for the same crime as women are much longer sentences.

Men: comprise 60 some % of homeless population

Men: comprise of a majority of suicides

I could go on but it's only going to anger the feminazis more and more”

reading crap like this makes me so mad tbh, like i understand moids don’t have easy lives just because they’re moids but GOOD FUCKING GRIEF it’s like they just can’t fucking get enough of acting like society wasn’t built by men for men. 🙏🙏 sorry it just gets me upset. anyway love ur blog!!

Oooof this is a really great ask so thank you for sending this in! I guess I’ll approach this by answering each one individually (although I might repeat myself)

Men pay child support while women can just have an abotion

This is a very strange argument. Because firstly not every country has fully legal abortions. 47 countries only allow it for health reasons, 43 to save the mother’s life and 22 it is fully illegal. A lot of men like this seem to forget that there are other countries on this planet. I’d personally rather be the gender that has to pay child support for an unwanted baby. Even in the case of legal abortions, abortions are not easy to go through. It is mentally very difficult and can be an invasive procedure. Women are shamed for having abortions in every country, even the most ‘accepting’ places.

Circumcision

I am very against circumcision and this was probably his most valid point(?) But his point excludes the fact that FGM is practiced in many countries and cultures. And while male circumcision is usually done for religious reasons claiming its ‘hygienic’ and has little to no bad side effects while FGM can kill women and girls, and is done for far more malicious reasons that I can’t even begin to describe.

Men’s drinks night

Does he know the implications of what ‘buying a woman a drink’ means?? Yeah, I’d much rather be a man in this situation 😭

Drafted at 18

I am against anyone being drafted, and I’m against any military work period. But men made this rule because they deem men to be brave and strong - a stereotype designed to benefit them.

Work place injuries and fatalities

Most injuries and fatalities happen with manual labour, construction/factory work etc. Same stereotype as listed in the point before this.

Custody over children

Again, this happens due to a stereotype that benefits men. Women are ‘better parents/nurturing’ while men are not and should go out there and work and achieve their goals while women stay at home. Literally designed to benefit men. Also, a lot of men view the custody struggle as a privilege because they cannot be bothered to be fathers.

Going to prison because of a simple accusation and less abuse shelters for men

This is the craziest point because men do not go to prison over some random accusation pulled out from thin air. In order to accuse someone of abuse, you need extensive indisputable evidence. Even then, the police will not take it seriously or the defence will win the case for whatever reason. These are the hardest crimes to prove in a court and the statistics show this. Less abuse shelters for men because they are far FAR less likely to be a victim. Yes, its’s sad but this literally proves misogyny is a thing rather than misandry - because I know damn well which sex I’d rather be in this instance.

People laugh at male rape victims and women are given full support/legal justice

I addressed this in the previous point. Women are ridiculed and not believed/not given justice at an extremely higher rate than men.

Longer male prison sentences

Same stereotype that I’ve said before about being stronger/braver vs weak/nurturing. The stereotype was made to benefit them. Also this ignores that a lot of the time there are other aspects to a crime that result in a higher sentence given. For example 1st degree murder done for financial motive vs sexual motive.

Larger male homeless population and male suicide rate

I guess this is more of a question of why men are more likely to be homeless or commit suicide. Make suicide rate studies suggest it’s harder for men to admit mental health struggles/reach out for help. Again, it’s sad but the strong brave stereotype was designed to benefit them, like I’ve said before. Permanent homelessness is largely due to addiction, mental health, childhood poverty, financial crisis, loss of relationships to family/partner. These can all happen to women, except a lot of the female homeless population are trafficked, resort to prostitution, enter abusive relationships to escape the streets. In a lot of countries, people seem to think its 99% men that are homeless, but its usually not. You just typically only see male homeless people sitting/sleeping on the street in public spaces - that’s a more terrifying place for a woman to be compared to a man.

—

I guess this guy’s main problems is that he:

- Thinks USA/Europe/western countries are the only places that exist

- Can’t see that bad things that happen to men are actually a result of stereotypes designed to benefit the male population

- Makes up statistics in his head that aren’t true

- Has a crazy victim complex

- Can’t see that the women’s position in his scenario is actually worse

I hope this helps with any future debates and refutes! And I hope I explained myself well enough 😭

[unlicensedmortician]

bad movies with j&j: divergent part two electric boogaloo.

- they have multiple personality traits. which means they are the worst people ever.

- i can’t even go “this is such obvious propaganda how is anyone falling for it” bc ive been on twitter recently

- oh girl that haircut is really bad

- that haircut is “this is the first time i’m asking for a masc haircut and the hairdresser my mom took me to just goes with fuckass pixie cut” bad

- “only a divergent can open this box” be so fucking for real. what are you talking about. it’s a magic box? that only a divergent can open? because they’re so special? because they’re acoustic? what are you saying

- hey . what? “i need to kill jeanine” didn’t a large chunk of the plot of the last movie revolve around how tris doesn’t want to kill people. what’s happening

- “tris you can’t just go around killing people”

- caleb. shut up

- “hey how do these people know you? why are they looking for you?” “:)” hey king that’s not? an answer?

- this man’s mother looks like. 28. he looks older than her. what the fuck

- she and tris look the same age?

- four looks like he’s 36. he looks like he has a mortgage. he looks like he doesn���t pay child support. his mother looks 29 at MOST

- THE ACTRESS WAS IN HER FORTIES IN THIS MOVIE?? GIRL WHAT IS UR SKINCARE ROUTINE!!

- tris rocking up in a forever 21 ass outfit

- hey caleb are you wearing a white tshirt a denim flannel and a suit jacket made by carhartt?

- ah yes the ya dystopian female lead uniform: extremely fitted utility vest with 25% of ur back exposed and nothing underneath

- christina girl what was she supposed to do

- “i’ve been assuming all divergents are the same” and you’re supposed to be the smartest bitch alive?

- oh i wonder who could be the most specialist special one of them all

- “sometimes i think i see lights out beyond the wall” wow that’s crazy girl

- jester said she runs like a sim and they’re right oh my god

- i can’t tell if i keep zoning out or if this movie just makes no sense

- this fucking guy again?

- summary execution. average good guy behavior

- wow she’s 100% divergent? she’s who they’ve been looking for? that’s fucking crazy. who could have seen this coming.

- oh shit girl you fucking kilt him

- is this nonbinary representation

- girl how did you get a full beat and a blowout in this economy

- can’t get over how much jeanine looks like a pastors wife

- yeah ok that was a pretty effective way to send a message. also, what the fuck

- i feel like. this whole divergent problem could be solved if you just didn’t mention that they exist and let them pick a faction and stick to it. like they would probably just do that.

- please don’t make me watch them bone on screen i can’t do it

- oh yep she’s turning herself in. thought so

- i feel like most people would be pretty willing to try to stop innocent people from being forced to kill themselves no matter what their dominant personality trait is but ok

- peter is kinda serving cunt tho

- “it’s ok u can kill him if you want we have plenty of guards” “… WHAT” ok. that was funny

- damn they acupunctured her

- i love watching actors do a muscle up that engages absolutely none of their muscles

- unfortunately i just think these trial sims are kinda dumb as hell and i don’t really care that much

- standing in the shower really normally tris

- this movie is almost completely relying on tris being a pretty skinny blonde white girl in order for you to care about what’s happening

- this is giving me a migraine

- tris you look really stupid unfortunately

- hello?? is she fucking dead??? there’s a whole other movie with her in it ??

- also like. what the fuck is in the box

- imagine if it’s just like. a piece of paper that says “i fucked ur mom”

- ok slay go off peter. i guess. sure.

- he’s the realest bitch here

- tris vs tris with an even worse haircut somehow

- honestly couldn’t tell you what happened in that last simulation

- plot twist! the entire base concept of this worldbuilding is fake and made up and contrived!

- so she’s the savior of humanity? with that haircut?

- yeah that’s p average dictator behavior

- do you guys think the milf is gonna end up being the new dictator

- and there’s a whole other movie after this ¿? this sort of feels like. the conclusion.

- she’s soooooo special. oh my god. what ever

- oh fours mom shot jeanine. ok

final thoughts: hm? huh? what? this has to be one of the stupidest things i’ve ever seen. sorry to everyone who was really into this in 2014 i will not be changing my opinion. how do i get @ghostcasket back for showing this to me i genuinely can’t think of anything

[blasphemecel]

I KNOW UR NOT MY THERAPIST BIT IM SO TIRED OF PEOPLE REALITY CHECKING ME 💔💔💔 SHIDOU WUOULD CHEAT ON ME AND BEAT MY ASS SUKUNA WOULDNT LOVE ME AND HED KILL ME ON A SKEWER TOJI WOULDNT PAY CHILD SUPPORT AFTER POKING THE CONDOM IM SICK OF IT ALL 💔💔💔💔blasphemecel protect me

I honestly think that stuff is kind of lame anyway. Like it's literally a fantasy you can imagine whatever you want. Why would you imagine a made up guy treating you like shit when you can imagine him worshipping the ground you walk on lol like it's literally fake. Way to rain on someone's parade don't listen to them anon. It's ok if you don't like angst or whatever 😭

Shidou would let you win the play fight and calls himself your silly rabbit in interviews

[time-is-restored]

in the spirit of all my white collar posting i thought id transcribe one of my more delirious threads when i was extremely feverish and struggling to find any ot3 characterisation i vibed with:

the thing about white collar is everyone wildly underestimates how much of an asshole neal is. and then they make peter the WRONG type of asshole and give elizabeth laughing gas !

neal’s the type of guy to hold the elevator door while ur in it until there’s like fifty people in there and then get out. peter hits the close door button ritualistically no matter how busy it is/who he can see coming down the hallway and elizabeth takes the stairs. they are Very Specific types of assholes!

neal wants YOU to look like the asshole by pushing you into ‘overreacting’, while peters more than happy coasting through (or outright speedrunning) any conversation that isn’t between him and any of the four (4) ppl he likes. its not that smalltalks painful for him, but he's very strict abt how much time he deigns to spend on it. he'll give u 5 minutes, MAX, and then he's bulldozing his way into The Point

meanwhile elizabeth plays the same game as neal but she’s the one who can’t 'overreact' . like an endurance marathon. it’s fun for her! like, the ability to treat anyone less than totally pleasant as a bumbling child w/o losing any face or flinching . that’s a game she’s winning. peters terrible at it @ literally everyone except neal and neal, in turn, is the opposite of that. that is ofc the appeal for both of them

it’s not that any of them see social sim style ++ or - - showing up when they pick a dialogue option? it’s more like. the person they're talking to has a HP gauge. elizabeth keeps u in the green No Matter What and can make u lose even if it’s been an unwaveringly equal and supportive convo, bc sometimes people really really really want to go into the red and she categorically Refuses to give u an excuse. neal goes for JUST outside the range of red and teeters back and forth from yellow to orange. keeping u at the sweet spot between stress and light discomfort where ur the most pliable and the least able to sort through and discard any of the conversational shrapnel (which he is hoping will lodge in ur mind and eventually convince u of whatever shit he's pedalling) he is relentlessly hurling in ur direction. PETER will either press x to skip the cutscene or blast straight through to bright red -100% reputation. what are u gonna do cry. this dude can’t make you cry he’s beige wallpaper. he’s not even paying attention to this conversation. he’s running down the shopping list in his head. and that nonchalance IS fun for peter when he’s doing it on purpose but he’s usually not. so he’s only really >:3 when the other party (ie: neal) has given him time to tune in. you see??

[crabbng]

you gave us permission to ship your characters rookie mistake/jk I actually enjoy Teraat/Kiigari because of how they first appeared together, the "i don't like magic" with wizard lady love/hate homestuck kismesis type shit i get from them is like wood burning in my fire place. I also like Aoife/Bon cause she makes Bon do the things he should that he wants to and he just has easy intimacy with the way she speaks to him almost bossy but kind i like their dynamic but i can also see them staying friends. And Bon/teraat just a tiny bit but i can kinda only see them as friends but i love the good Teraat brings out in Bon almost like Aoife, even though shes still learning herself it's sweet they are sweet and figuring out life together.

another kismesis type shit one is the maighstir/zeynah i agree with the anon who said marek and zeynah are fam energy, they are like his lesbian ex mom's who fight in front of him and for his attention to see which mom is better and the maighstir wants bragging rights but doesn't pay child support while zeynah is working a 9 to 5 jobs for this family to come home to her ex-wife screaming at her about how she's better being a brat and making her wonder why she married and not regretting divorcing her but they can't make different living agreements so they have to live together. im sorry that was a lot, i may have ran my mouth a bit and you probably don't even know what im talking about anymore, idk i just love the hate ship lesbians

you actually nailed one on the head (perhaps you already knew about it) ms myra maighstir and zeynah ARE bitter exes. canonically they dated and broke up. this is entirely accurate.

we gotta get tera and kii back together tho, ur right. LET THEM FIGHT.

tragically (not tragically) aoife and tera are both big ole lesbians, so bon is out of the picture for them 😔 if aoife were into guys tho, you know bon would be down to clown

terabon friendship is SOOOOO REAL AND SO GOOD THO!!!!! i agree, i love them. they are both figuring things out. together <3

[transrathma]

do you have like. any Silly headcanons about ur fav little brain guys? (ocs I mean, I once called a friend's ocs brain guys and now I can't stop saying it kdsajhsjdkahas)

my Silliest guy is called jesse o'shea ! i originally made him to go in stranger things but it's since become a running bit that he's just in everything......

he's a nasty little gutter punk from trenton, new jersey who dropped out of high school, got kicked out by his dad, and plays bass in a garage punk band called Rat! (exclamation mark included) he's a hobbyist monster hunter and expert on the supernatural and demonic, and he carries around a machete and his bass at all times

he once died in a game of dread set in a 2000s teen slasher after trying to defend himself with a lighter and a pocket knife. he's a natural redhead but he dyes his hair black so his roots are always showing. his favorite band is chicago but he won't ever admit to it.

most recently i've made him into a bard in bg3. he's still the same guy. he was in rehearsal before he woke up on the nautiloid. his precious axe is now a lute. things just keep happening to him

here he is <3

i ALSO have a forge cleric whose whole thing is that he's divorced and now he's in his mid-40s but he's adventuring so he can pay child support. his name is kit

[triplexdoublex]

I think wats messing me up about this whole thing is that my parents are going through a very similar situation where my mom was the extremely toxic one who cheated, said some extremely horrible lies about my dad and all of that stuff, then they seperated, and my dad got very suicidal and me and my sis had to watch him just spiral down hill and then like a few months later right when he was getting better, my dad let her just walk right back in like nothing happened and she never saw wat she did wrong and coudint understand why everyone was so upset, and now literally won't face any of our family and is only happy when she's spending his money. And I'm not saying this for sympathy or anything but I'm saying this from experience it doesn't matter how old the kid is when they have to sit there and watch their dad become suicidal and depressed over a women (doesn't matter if they are ur real mom, step mom, cousin, aunt, grandmother idc) but if ur kids watches u become suicidal over a women it not only breaks something inside of them but it makes them become extremely angry and not trusting to that said women. And him staying in this very openly toxic very public relationship is very damaging to Casie and I can almost garentee Casie despises Megan and is just waiting for her to leave/mess up again and I can also almost garentee she isint facing his family (the crew) anytime soon. Hell he's already trying to hide it from his other family (est) so I can only imagine how the crew feels about this

TW// domestic violence, blood, death threats, guns

I’m so sorry you had to go through that I unfortunately know exactly how you and Casie must feel. Growing up my step mother was extremely jealous, abusive and manipulative towards my dad even before they got married and it destroyed my relationship with him. She would take off her rings and have me hold them while she went and beat my dad up over the stupidest things like glancing at the Victoria Secret poster ads in the store window while walking by at the mall, she even once accused him of checking ME out that’s how crazy and jealous she was. One time he hurt his back at work and she accused him of “walking like he just had sex” and broke a small wooden baseball bat over his face , took pictures of him all bloody and then showed them to me and was basically like “this is what’s gonna happen if your dad keeps cheating on me.” My dad wasn’t allowed to attend any life events of mine birthdays, graduation, my wedding. She always had to tag along to every weekend visitation or vacation I had with my dad, and would never let my dad buy me things when we were out because he “already pays enough in child support” ( $55 a week 🙄). He worked as a janitor at my school and she made him quit because she thought he flirted with my teacher. She literally made him tell my teacher “I have to quit because I jerk off thinking about you” and she stood there and made sure he said it. At her and my dads wedding she told me “I’m your mother now and I will smack you” because I wouldn’t give two of her friends a ride home. Eventually they thankfully divorced when she cheated and decided she was done with my dad, but not before having 4 more kids and fucking them all up. Even after the divorce she continued to fuck with him and would claim all the kids on her taxes when the agreement was to split it or do every other year. So one time obviously extremely angry my dad said “I’m gonna kill you” purely out of anger and she called the police ( all of who my dad was friends with because he used to be a firefighter— another job she made him quit) and one of my dads own friends had to come to his house and confiscate all his LEGAL hunting guns and bows because “she feared he would use them to kill her” So after all the shit she put him through now he was the bad guy! I fear Megan’s gonna do the same thing to Kells and push him to a breaking point where he either says or does something violent so then she can spin the narrative and play the Amber Heard victim card and be like “see he was really the bad guy all along this is why you should always believe women, this is why I’m such a powerful feminist” 🙄 Sorry for the rant I can just see from experience how badly this can end for him and Casie’s relationship as well as his already tarnished reputation.