#paul what are you doing to these poor cats

[ratatatastic]

people in my puter are real :)

[gremlingottoosilly]

What if Reader we're a streamer? How would König react? 🐱

It depends!

If you're a 2020-era Valoran/LoL e-girl monster energy sponsored corpse husband streamer, our poor man is in for a ride. I kinda want to explore the AU with Konig and his loser-of-a-son Paul because I don't think that normal Konig even has time to engage with streaming. But you came to visit for a few days one time, with your big ass cat ear headphones, with your fishnets and a choker and you left more energy drink cans behind that he thought humanly possible - and he fucking knows that his son isn't good enough for you. Hell, Konig might not be good for you. You're doing streaming just as a way to fight boredom during lockdown - you kinda stuck with Paul because your lease ended just before the quarantine and you obviously couldn't find another place to live in such a short notice...so it already laids a strain on your relationships. Konig's son is a fucking incel(like father like son LMAO), and he has a nasty habit of being bitter over having such a pretty and amazing girl like you. Now, Konig isn't a pervert. He isn't lusting over his son's college girlfriend. You just...well, you could be modest at least a little bit and not wear the short skirts around the house, right? Your relationships are going to get even more awkward because Konig has a very nasty habit of kinda wandering into the room you stream from, wearing nothing but sweatpants and your chat is going crazy( you don't understand what's wrong until you see his figure in your camera view and your audience demands hunk boyfriend reveal. Konig doesn't really understand streaming at all and still conflicted whether you're doing porn or you are talking to yourself for hours each day, but he loves to support you. By that I mean giving you money, not energy drink and ramen - he forbid you from ever drinking it again, unfortunately

[chaoticbardlady99]

Darling, Never Stop Haunting Me

(Spawn Astarion x F! Ghost Reader) : Prologue

Synopsis: You’ve haunted Szarr Palace for 354 years after Donella Szarr failed to turn you into a spawn. You have favored Astarion over the other spawn for the last two centuries and after a series of events and a Paul Revere-esque mission to save him from being kidnapped- you finally meet each other in the flesh.

CW: Death (obviously), mentions of Astarion’s trauma, mentions of Gore, mentions of Gale x Tav

Disclaimer- put together the picture for the banner, but I do not own any of the pictures. Birdie is a stock image 💜 I will not describe the readers body in detail- she is just merely on the banner for ✨drama✨. I believe the picture of Astarion is from @aristenfromwarsaw . And then the symbol of Orcus in the back is a free image off the internet.

Chapter One : AO3

Your paws hit the pavement as you frantically search for Elfsong Tavern. You haven’t left Szarr Palace since you died there so many years ago- you didn’t even know what the Hells an Elfsong Tavern was until Dalyria had told Cazador that was where Astarion was staying.

It’s still just before sunset so there is still plenty of time to warn the group about the upcoming kidnapping attempt- you just hope one of them is a Druid.

You aren’t naturally a cat- you’re a ghost and you’ve been haunting Szarr Palace since Donella Szarr killed you what feels like eons ago. You had been merely walking home one evening from a Violin gig you had barely managed to get- it had gone so well that they had asked you to come back and play next week. Oh how life had other plans for poor 28-year-old you who made her entire life about music and died never experiencing romance, true companionship, etc. You had grown up isolated amongst nobles, but you knew of Donella Szarr so her asking you to have tea with her didn’t seem that bizarre.

Needless to say- it was weird watching your own funeral.

No matter how hard you tried, you could never cross over and Gods did you want to. You didn’t even care if you became incorporeal or went on to the Heavens- you just wanted to be able to actually talk to people and do things again. You were incredibly apathetic and haunting with no purpose. You’re a house ghost who has no say over the house- you can’t even help fix things in the damn place without asking to be exorcised.

Your misery was reduced significantly a little over 140 years later when Astarion Acunin experienced his first night in Cazador’s kennels. His screams haunted you and you are the one who is supposed to be doing the haunting!

You did everything you could to try to make his time with Cazador somewhat bearable, but your efforts were too small and you feel as if you failed him. You tried to possess Cazador and it went miserably- you had almost been consumed by the darkness in him entirely. You had been a mere fly to his soul.

You were able to possess Godey easily enough, but you had to be careful because he has sent Cazador on a multitude of Ghost hunts before.

Astarion knew you were around- he’d acknowledge you as ‘Ghosty’ whenever his candle would flicker out and then come back full force for him to finish sewing his clothing. He could sense your presence at other times too- one time you had been certain he was able to see you as you sat with him for the duration of Cazador’s ‘poem’.

You favor Astarion over the other spawn, but you have come to justify it as Astarion was the one who needed your help more. He was frequently the subject of Cazador’s rage and need for violence. You know it’s because he resembles Vellioth to some extent and you are certain that’s why he targeted Astarion in the first place.

Cazador introduced himself to Astarion when he was a young magistrate. It had been at one of his many lavish affairs and you had seen the menacing glint in Cazador’s eyes when the young man walked in with some over the top female on his arm.

Cazador asked Astarion to begin convicting people wrongfully and sending them to Szarr Palace. He offered a handsome amount of gold and Astarion took the offer without a thought. You immediately knew this man had signed over his soul- knowingly or unknowingly, you had no idea.

Things became even messier when Cazador began to have the closest thing to love he could feel for the young magistrate. Astarion was very intelligent- he wasn’t charismatic naturally, but he knew how to study behavior and work around it. He knew what Cazador wanted to hear.

So when Cazador found out Astarion had taken another deal on the side as well as potentially a more formal lover, well, he had signed over his fate. Cazador framed a Gur Hunter, Astarion sent him to the other group of slavers instead of Cazador, and Cazador let the Gur know this anonymously ‘in good faith’.

At first you thought it was just karma doing it’s work, but then you learned that Astarion was just another young person like you who was just trying to figure it out. Where you thought you were doing your duty by meeting with a noble, he felt he was doing his- at first at least. He had been sending a reasonable sum of money back home to his parents, but he became greedy and ended up paying for that with a life sentence.

Some higher power must be merciful because it had seemed that Astarion had managed to escape Cazador for good.

Then the moron decided to come back and now Cazador is sending Leon after him with three of the other house spawn.

You don’t care for possessing any living soul- a tacky couch? Maybe, but only because it doesn’t have thoughts. However, desperate times called for desperate measures and you are really regretting not getting the gumption to possess a person.

You are far too cute with your fluffy grey and white fur and big green eyes. People keep trying to scoop you up in their arms and children chase after you. Other cats are just plain rude and unhelpful- you have no idea how you are going to find this Tavern.

“You seem rather lost, little ghost,” a voice says from a nearby tree.

You peer upwards to see a Calico Tressym eyeing you curiously. If you weren’t so focused on finding Astarion, maybe you would be mad at her for openly announcing you are a ghost.

“I’m looking for someone,” you say as you try to catch your breath, “I need to get to Elfsong Tavern as soon as possible.”

This seems to interest the Tressym because she immediately jumps down with a serious expression on her face.

“Who and why?”

Screw it- you don’t have time to be picky.

“I’m looking for a man named Astarion- his life is in danger,” you say quickly.

She seems to digest this information for a moment as she circles you. Her eyes explore your fluffy form and she seems to decide you are trustworthy because she beckons for you to follow her.

You race after her as she flies over the buildings and lands- wait, why is she landing in front of that man in purple on the beach!? That’s not Astarion or a Tavern!

In spite of your confusion, your gut pushes you forward and before you know it- the man you are looking for comes waltzing out of a house with a disgusted look on his face while a tall, red tiefling woman holds a very old heart in a jar.

“Astarion,” the man, Gale, tries not to make his own panic too obvious, “come here.”

“You’re going to have to do better than that to interest me, Gale,” he says with an emphasis on the man’s name, “why should I?”

“For God’s sake- it’s about Cazador,” the man hisses.

This grabs his and his other three companion’s attention. They immediately huddle around Gale- the silver haired woman immediately aweing upon seeing you and the blonde haired woman intertwining her hands with Gale’s. The red tiefling is still holding the heart and you gag upon seeing it which earns a laugh from the group.

“What about Cazador?”

Astarion’s voice betrays the panic he’s feeling- for whatever reason, his panic prompts him to scratch you between your ears. You fight the urge to purr. You are a person- dammit! A dead one, but a person nonetheless!

“This Ghost,” Gale says with uncertainty while pointing to you, “is saying that Cazador is sending Leon, Aurelia, Yousen, and Violet later tonight to detain you.”

“She was practically barreling through streets- poor thing was about to experience her second death,” adds Tara.

“Apparently it was a suicide mission,” Gale adds.

You are suddenly lifted up from underneath your arms and a pair of ruby red eyes are boring into yours. After a few moments, a giggle of all damn things exits this man’s mouth.

“There are at least five or six useless thralls you could have possessed and you chose a cat?”

You flatten your ears and leer at him before attempting to communicate with him- only to be disappointed when an angry yowl leaves your little mouth. Astarion fucking giggles again. THIS IS SERIOUS!

“This is far more adorable though, I will give you that,” Astarion says as he begins to walk towards the tavern with you now cradled in his arms.

You never would have found the damn place on your own. It was clear on the other side of the city!

“It’s a shame I can’t understand you a single bit,” Astarion says, “I would love to know how Cazador has been fairing without me there.”

Terribly, but in a crazed, rage filled way. Unfortunately poor Dalyria and Petras had been receiving the treatment usually reserved for Astarion. You were happy to see him thriving, but it does make you sad that it had to cost two other people’s dignity and comfort.

The moment the party enters the room and announces that they are anticipating an attack once the sun sets, everyone jumps up and prepares themselves for the coming battle.

Astarion places you on his bed before grabbing a green bottle and chugging it. He then proceeds to look at you expectantly and you have no idea what he is doing, but it’s starting to kind of freak you out because neither one of you is blinking and he’s beginning to look more and more like the predator he is.

“I don’t think I like this game,” you say, “you look rather terrifying when you don’t blink for long periods of time.”

“Oh, but terrifying is what I aim to be, Darling,” Astarion says with a toothy grin, “I don’t want any of them reporting to Cazador that I’m still the pathetic vampire spawn I was before I went missing.”

“You were never pathetic,” the words come out of your mouth harshly, “and if you must know- they are reporting to Cazador that you practically have a whole army of ‘do gooders’ by your side.”

“Oh really? Do tell me, how does that make him feel?”

“He was surprised at first.”

“Naturally.”

“But then he heard about Orin’s death and your part in it- he’s worried, to say the least.”

“Good,” Astarion snarls, “he should be.”

The siblings arrive exactly when you said they would and they are surprised to see everyone prepared to see them. You are absolutely floored when Astarion tries to convince them that he’ll ascend all of them- he has to know by now that that is not what this ritual will do. You notice the uneasy glances between Astarion’s companions.

If they really are the heroes Dalyria made them out to be, will they truly let him ascend without contest?

There wasn’t time for any questions as the other spawn rush the group. You did manage to help in the fight- Astarion was being cornered by Violet and Leon so you took it upon yourself to wreak havoc upon Violet’s scalp. She went back home pretty quickly and Astarion was able to take on Leon with ease.

Now you sit in front of a big window and take in the moon. Your heart breaks for the 7,000 souls beneath Szarr Palace and the six other house spawn. Poor little Victoria had finally been taken away from the city and replaced with someone else- Leon promised he’d come find her. Gods you hope she doesn’t think Leon purposefully abandoned her. She’s a great kid.

“You seem to be thinking rather hard for a cat.”

“You lied to them.”

The silence between you is deafening before you finally look up at him. Astarion’s face is conflicted and guarded as he searches your features for any indication of what you are feeling. Cats aren’t terribly expressive apparently.

“Don’t give me that disappointed ‘I’m not getting cuddly, Astarion’ look!”

You feel your hackles raise slightly and your tail get puffy as you get up on your feet. You narrow your eyes at Astarion and he meets yours with equal amounts of stubbornness.

“I’ll give you this look for the rest of your damn life if that’s what it’s going to take!” You exclaim, “you can’t kill them! They have suffered too! Dalyria and Petras both tried to keep as much information as they could about you and your companions so that you stood a chance against him! Leon just wants to be with Victoria as a free man!

“The rest of them… they think it’s going to free them… they are all talking about what they want to do with their lives after this,” you say with anger and sadness in your voice, “You can’t take that from them.Their lives are not yours to take!”

“I hate to disappoint you,” Astarion says with venom lacing his words, “but I could care less about what they went through and their wants or their souls for that matter. No one was there for me, well besides you, but not everyone is an overly friendly Ghost like you.”

Your eyes become blurry and Astarion’s face goes from anger to shock and confusion. It takes a moment to collect yourself, but when you do- you make sure to say exactly what you are thinking.

“It makes me sad.”

“What does?”

“That you ended up being no better than Cazador,” you say flatly, “I thought I saw some redeeming qualities in you. I guess I was wrong.”

You watch it take all of his willpower not to snap your neck right there or pick you up and chuck you against the wall. The woman, Karlach, seems to notice his sudden shift in energy because she’s quickly walking over and scooping you up off the windowsill.

“You look like you need to take a breather, Fangs,” Karlach chuckles awkwardly, “maybe you should go hunting. We’ll be leaving to storm the castle before you know it.”

So he does and Karlach takes you over to her bed.

“That was awfully harsh, Boo,” Karlach says, “a gentler touch may have been better.”

“Karlach, I’ve been a ghost for almost 400 years. I have been forced to watch either Donella, Vellioth, or Cazador terrorize handfuls of people,” you shake your head, “Cazador is the worst of the worst- he’s terrorized over 7,000 people at this point and that ritual will kill all of them. Yet the soul I’m most upset about losing is Astarion’s.

“So yes, it was harsh, but it needed to be said.”

Karlach is quiet for a moment, “I suppose that’s true… but 7,000 people? I thought there were only 7 vampire spawn?”

“What? Who in the hells told you that?”

“Fangs- obviously.”

Oh right, he wouldn’t know that every person he’s ever shared a bed with is rotting away, starving in Cazador’s dungeon.

“No,” you say softly, “unfortunately there is a lot more going on than Astarion knows.”

**********************************************************************

Astarion is the first through the door when the group comes back from Szarr Palace. You have been sitting on Karlach’s bed the entire time- pacing anxiously. Scratch and the Owlbear cub would ask you to play with them, but you couldn’t get rid of the twisting knot in your stomach.

He goes to his bed and grabs a new change of clothes before weakly walking in the direction of the washroom. Karlach makes eye contact with you when she walks through the doors and she gives you a big smile.

Wait, does that mean?

She follows it with a thumbs up.

He didn’t do it. Holy Gods he didn’t do it! BUT WHY!?

You have a million questions, but you’re sure he doesn’t want to talk to you anytime soon. You bid a farewell to Karlach and the other companions. She tries to convince you to stay and talk to Astarion before deciding to leave, but you merely shake your head. You said your piece and you can return to haunting a now empty castle.

Or maybe you’ll be a cat around Baldur’s Gate. Tara seems to enjoy wandering around and you did forget how lovely the sun feels.

The walk back to Szarr Palace goes far smoother than your adventure finding Elfsong Tavern. The courtyard is still in bloom so the scent of red roses acts as your guide. Gods- Cazador was such a cliché. You hope these roses die and someone decides to plant literally anything else. Maybe you could figure out how to? You can dig hypothetically.

So that’s what you do. You begin digging out the crap ass red roses and do your best not to get caught on thorns. After the fourth or fifth rose, you have it down to a science and you’ve gotten quite a lot of work done on one flower bed. This cat thing isn’t all that bad!

Well, minus your excessive need for water and food, but there’s a running fountain nearby so that’s promising. The food part is going to be the harder part. You haven’t had to eat for centuries now and the growling in your belly is entirely foreign to you.

Should you try to steal food? Honestly, you’re adorable enough, you could probably beg for some food. Trying to hunt for a mouse is absolutely off the table and forget a bird all together.

You look up at the sky. The last bits of daylight cling to the horizon and the moon begins to kiss the sky. You are going to keep working until the sun has set, you’ll attempt to clean up, and then you'll sucker some people into giving you food.

Back to digging it is!

You continue your work and think about what you may plant. Maybe you could find seeds for food- there are plenty of homeless who could use it, but would they dare go to Szarr Palace for produce? The idea makes you snort. Donella would be infuriated if you turned the front of her “work of art” into a free farmer’s market for the needy.

“Are you taking up gardening now? I think it suits you,” a familiar voice says, “well, maybe more so if you were actually a person and not a cat.”

You slowly turn around and you’re met with the sight of a sheepish Astarion. He absentmindedly plays with his own hands, but you are happy to see some of the tension melt away when he sees your face and begins laughing.

“You are caked in dirt, Darling.”

“I would hope so- if this is something else then I have a real problem on my hands.”

“Ha!” Astarion says, “I don’t think you have any reason to fret. I can’t remember the last time Cazador had anyone tend to these stupid things.”

“Oh he didn’t have to,” you say in exasperation, “Donella enchanted the damn pots so that the plants can grow without soil. She hated the smell of fertilizer.”

“Donella?”

You blink at Astarion two times and tilt your head to the side.

“Cazador never mentioned his aunt?”

“Does this look like the face of a person who knows about Cazador’s aunt?”

“Put your sass back in your pockets, Mister,” you say with equal amounts of attitude, “Donella Szarr was the first Vampire Lord in Baldur’s Gate. She created Vellioth and well, you know how well that all went.”

“But how do you know Donella?”

“She killed me,” you say bluntly, “she took advantage of my naivety. She thought I was a promising young woman and she was very anti-patriarchy which I did really appreciate. However, she invited me over to tea to discuss a potential job offer at a party of her’s. She didn’t know how to properly create a spawn so when she drained me dry and I never popped back up- she realized she made a terrible mistake.

“Not because she cared about me, but because my parents were relatively prominent in the community.”

“How long ago was that?”

“Hmmm… well I was born in 1,110 then Donella killed me at the beginning of her dynasty in 1,138 sooooooo about,” you think so hard your ears begin to twitch, math was never your strong suit, “354 years ago.”

“Good Gods, you’ve been trapped in this damn place longer than I have. Why in the hells would you come back?”

That is a good question- why did you come back? You suppose it’s because at one point you were attached to this house and it made you uncomfortable to be away from it for longer than eight hours at a time, but that’s dissipated. You didn’t realize your attachment had changed to a person- the vampire spawn asking the question- until he disappeared and you felt like you did the one time you tried to stay away from Szarr Palace. It had weakened you significantly, but now that you’re a cat, that attachment isn’t there and you are free to go about your silly little business.

You also don’t know where else you would go. It’s not like staying in the Rothwell crypt is going to do wonders for your mental health and going back to haunting this palace means you’ll feel uncomfortable again until you are reattached.

“I don’t have anywhere else to go,” you admit, “so I came back to the only place I know. I think I might piss on Donella’s legacy by making this a community garden to feed the homeless. She’ll be infuriated- rolling over in her urn.”

Astarion snorts, “your idea of revenge is helping the needy? Gods, you’re insufferable.”

“What would you suggest then?” You retort, “I can’t imagine it will be easy finding seeds for anything worth planting. Unless you can hook me up with some sunflo-.”

“What if you traveled with me instead?” Astarion interrupts you.

Oh.

You blink a lot and your jaw has dropped. The happiness spreading through your body makes your paws tingle with excitement.

What an exhilarating concept. However, there must be a catch.

“You just said I was insufferable.”

“Just because I asked you to travel with me doesn’t make that any less true,” Astarion says, “but I’ve rather enjoyed your silent company over the past two centuries, I’m sure I’ll get used to the eccentricities of a ghost cat.”

“It’s quite a generous offer,” you say slowly, “why do you want me to travel with you?”

Astarion looks positively exasperated by your onslaught of questions.

“I would like to remind you that the last time I trusted a vampire- I died!”

“I suppose that’s fair,” he says with a sigh, “for a noble and a bard, you certainly aren’t one for mincing words.

“I was conflicted about ascending. No one was really giving me a reason not to because no one wanted to upset me. You, on the other hand, humbled me,” he says with a shrug, “and the lack of haunting I’ve experienced over the past several months has been absolutely terrible, Darling. I can’t keep a candle going as bright as you do to save my life.”

He says the last part with flourish and embellishment followed by an awkward cough.

You look to the roses and the garden bed then back to Astarion. It’s a much more fun idea- going with Astarion. It would be safer to remain here, but your life was cut so short so long ago. What if you could find a solution to become a person again? What if you could have the life you’ve always wanted?

“Okay.”

“Okay meaning?”

“I accept your invitation to travel with you.”

You are being scooped up from underneath your armpits again and Astarion holds you at arm's length. You flatten your ears and look at him unenthusiastically. Maybe you made a mistake.

“Wonderful! Now let’s get you cleaned up- you are positively disgusting right now.”

“You really know how to make a ghost feel special.”

Astarion wipes off the dirt using water from the fountain and a handkerchief before picking you back up and heading towards the cemetery.

“There’s something I need to do before we go back.”

He sets you down on the ground and you are surprised to see that you have arrived at his own grave. He remarks the grave as a symbol of his new life and you pluck a flower to drop on his grave. Astarion scratches you in between your ears and laughs as you chastise yourself for purring.

As you walk through the cemetary, you see another familiar name.

“That’s my family’s crypt!”

You sprint to the door and Astarion looks around for any clerics of Kelemvor before picking the lock. You bound down the stairs and Astarion is close behind you with a flame for light in his hands.

Your mother and father are there. It’s odd that your mother lived a much shorter life than your father considering she’s an elf. It looks like your father remarried and you have half siblings.

“Is this you?”

You look over to where Astarion is standing and sure enough- a plaque on a tomb reads, “Here lies Althaeastra ‘Birdie’ Rothwell. Beloved daughter, talented violinist, and the kindest soul this world had the privilege of knowing. We love and miss you forever and always. Kythorn 22, 1,110 to Alturiak 8th, 1,138’.

Your father’s tomb reads specifically, “Birdie’s Father” and your mother’s has, “Birdie’s Mother.” You had been their only child and you had been everything to them.

“Yeah,” you say sadly, “that’s me.”

Upon further investigation, you find that your mother had set your childhood home on fire after drinking too much. She died in the fire because she didn’t try to leave the house. Your poor father must have been devastated.

Your siblings are still alive, but you don’t have any desire to get to know them. That ship sailed a long time ago.

“I’m ready to go,” you say as evenly as you can, “I’m starving!”

You bound up the steps before he can say anything and you are grateful for the fresh air that fills your lungs. At least now you know what became of your family while you’ve been trapped in Szarr palace.

The walk back to Elfsong is quiet and the two of you sit by the windowsill and watch the world go by as the Tavern goers cheer and laugh. All of Astarion’s companions are fast asleep and your eyelids are feeling droopy following the chicken Astarion had managed to steal for you.

“So you’re a cat named Birdie?”

“No, I’m a ghost possessing a cat and my name is Birdie,” you say pointedly with a big yawn, “and I only go by Birdie because my first name is a monstrosity my grandmother insisted I have. I began singing before I began talking so my parents called me Birdie.”

“There’s no reason to argue semantics, Darling,” Astarion says with a dismissive wave of his hand, “no reason to get defensive. Truly adorable story though.”

You roll your eyes before laying your head down to fall asleep. You don’t protest when Astarion picks you up and sets you down to sleep on his bed. He scratches behind your ears before he also lays down on the bed with his book in one hand and his other petting you until you fall asleep.

Author note: Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are always appreciated! Please let me know if you would like to be on the tag list! I am using the Ghostwalk campaign for NPCs, locations, etc. It is a 3e Campaign and doesn’t mirror 5e Ghosts. I have tweaked some of the ghost powers and such for the sake of the story, but if you would like more information on Ghostwalk and the City of Manifest, there is a PDF online that is free to download :)

Additional Note: I didn’t think this concept would be received so well! Thank you so much for everyone’s kind words, like, and reblogs 💜 I am out of town, but I will probably end up posting the next chapter because I’m excited and I love Birdie and Astarion.

[papil0nglegs]

Can I request tf2 mercs with a reader who is literally the Embodiment of >:3, like reader will hide spy's knife in a different mercs room, leave a singular finger mark on heavy's weapon, replace demoman's skrumpy with coffee, ect ect. Basically reader is a little sh!t and loves to tease the mercs (the reader is basically a cat who's only Purpose is to make the mercs have tiny Inconveniences on the daily)

So unkawaii of you.. 🍡

Tf2 x reader

A/n: hi g🍅🍅🍅🍅 owww stop it 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅stop pls🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅a🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅I just wanted to🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅say h🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅i🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅im sorryr🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅stopitp🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅ls

Warnings: Piss drinking, ‘I’m a minor’

They’re all this close 🤏 to executing you. Can you blame them? You’re a menace!!

Your antics were first just “you so crazy girl!!!” To “you’re fucking insane.”

You do the absolute most, you can’t just touch heavy’s gun and leave it at that! You have to grab a bunch of Lisa Frank stickers and decorate poor Sasha

“Holy fuck y/n what the hell did you do..”

“What? It looks better.”

Once heavy entered battle he noticed people snickering at him, that was when he noticed all the cute stickers on Sasha

Yeah you’re as good as dead

They will never let you near a phone again, once scouts MOM called the base and you just happen to be right next to it..

“Hello?”

“Hi!! I’m Jeremy’s mom just calling to see if he’s doing okay”

“No he died sorry” click

2hours later

“WHO THE FUCK TOLD MY MA I DIED??”

Sometimes the beef at the base isn’t about you, so you have to make it about you

‘a bunch of screaming’

“AHHHHHHH”

“WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU SCREAMIN’ FOR?”

“idk I’m going to sleep”

UnSpiking beer>>>

You can replace it with coffee ORRRR, grab one of snipers jars yes we’re going there

“Y/n, you low down scallop.”

“Why are you blaming me? Snipers the one who pisses in jars!!”

The gaslighting is unreal when it comes to you, no one is safe from your manipulation

Esp on the enemy team, you’d pretend to be hurt and immediately shoot them

“Ow you broke my fucking nose asshat!!”

“Shoot uhh, hey I know I’m not supposed to do this bu-“

“Sike” 💥

Belittling the mercs is also fun, you’d randomly pinch their cheeks or scratch their ear like their some dog to really get them mad

But as soon as one lays a finger on you all hell breaks lose

“Nice job out there private!!” Back pat

“STOP TOUCHING ME, I DIDN’T GIVE CONSENT. IM A MINOR, A MINOR.”

😣..

You fuck with scouts relationships sm, imagine calling into Ms paulings phone and acting like ur his sidepiece

“Hello?”

“ARE YOU THE WHORE MY BOYFRIEND JEREMY IS HOOKING UP WITH?

“What?”

“YOU BETTER PLAN YOUR FUNERAL NOW CUZ GIRL TRUST YOU WILL BE DEALT WITH.”

Then you casually watch a scout and Pauling fight over something you started like

[acutemushroom]

Kinda funny to me to imagine the poor shop owner reaction when the boys went to buy Laddie's jacket upon him joining the gang.

Like, those teenagers known to cause troubles and act violently are now in her shop. With a kid who's looking somewhat confused. And they're looking at clothes assorted to theirs in child size for said kid. And there's Dwayne, Star and Paul fussing over Laddie, making sure the clothes fits him correctly, that the material isn't uncomfortable and that it is also practical for every day wear. All in all, the scene is really domestic, but there is something uncanny about it.

And when this poor shopkeeper ask how they are related to this little boy, she gets such confusing answers. Like, what do you mean you "just picked him up"?! We're talking about a child, not a stray cat what is going on?

But the boys do have a reputation, so the shopkeeper knows to mind their business and is just genuinely happy that their store is still in one piece. Heck, they even managed to get some money out of it as Star paid for what she could with the cash she had on hand !

But still, that must have been a quite... confusing for that poor businessperson.

[lakesbian]

what do you think the baby undersiders were like :)

you all might be reading this ask and thinking. Ah yes, this is going to be a post about jean-paul. iota loves jean-paul, possibly to an unreasonable extent. Well jokes on fucking you. ive already posted a lot about jean-paul. this post is going to be about baby brian now. i think about brian more than you guys even remotely know and now we're having Brian Time. lakesbian goes brianmoded.

anyway. in my head brian laborn was a very silent serious little child who always took things too literally. one of those children random adults would call an "old soul" in a complimentary way but all it means is the child has already lost all their joie de vivre at the age of ten. you know how in aisha's interlude when she finds out her mom is pregnant again she hopes the drugs & alcohol result in a miscarry so that some poor third laborn kid doesn't have to deal with All The Bullshit? i don't think brian consciously had that full entire thought when he found out he was going to have a little sibling, but i do think somewhere in his little seven year old mind he reacted with a sort of creeping dread and advance desire to protect his yet-to-be-born sibling more than with any sort of excitement.

i think he was, of course, always the tallest kid in class, and he did not like sticking out like that at all. he got used to it eventually but i think on many an occasion he has imagined picking someone asking him about the weather or basketball up and flattening them hydraulic press style. but also, he always felt very Special and Helpful and Masculine when he had to get things off shelves for women. and he liked when elderly people called him a Polite Young Man for it, and he did not think anything negative about the fact that people were already calling him a Young Man when he was 12 or 13, because he figured he was just supposed to keep being a Polite Young Man. i think one time when he was like 8 his mother's boyfriend ran over a cat on the road even though he didn't have to do that and it made brian so sad he cried and he couldn't stop crying even when he got told to stop fucking crying and he doesnt like to think about that memory very much at all.

i think aisha liked when brian held her a lot as a small child and he was always doing it and he liked giving her rides on his shoulders because it felt like being a responsible fun big brother and then she stopped wanting to do that and started thinking he was lame and he would never admit that he wishes she still wanted to. i am. Always thinking about how when he went to go pick her up on the day he triggered she ran and jumped into his arms. do you think that was the last time he held her? i bet it was. [through tears] i bet it was

[m1ssunderstanding]

Get Back Rewatch 55 Years On: Day Seven

Okay if anyone is super well-versed in the whole northern songs drama, I would LOVE your insights. I haven’t really looked into it, so all I know is they lost it right before the divorce meeting. What happened? What the hell is this? -- “Which includes Paul and John,” “Just about.” “What does that mean?” “No comment.”

The scouse getting thicker and thicker after “Carolina moOOn?” What can I say? I’m a sucker for it.

Paul’s absolute sugar-cookie heart-eyes when George walks in and then Ringo’s high-pitched “Hi Georgie!” Guys. Tone it down! I know you love him. But you just saw him yesterday, and you’ll see him again tomorrow. Oh wait . . . is today the day he quits?

John. If you look at your boyfriend like that while he’s being an attention-whore, he’s going to keep being an attention whore. So just. You know. Keep in mind what you’re encouraging here.

OMG they’re KISSING! (Live George reaction)

Paul. If you give your boyfriend what he wants while he’s being an attention-whore, he’s going to keep being an attention whore. So just. You know. Keep in mind what you’re encouraging here. (but literally, John just becomes a maniac, dancing and shouting, the MOMENT Paul goes to talk to George, and Paul’s instantly like “George, what george?”)

This Paul/George fight is, boiled down, literally just Paul being paranoid and anal and George trying to reassure him. “It’s not passe, it’s just a chord . . . yeah, but some drainies suit different occasions.”

“You need Eric Clapton.” “You need George Harrison.” John wasn’t here to be cute when George walked in, so he’s making up for it now.

“If you vamp, then it takes away from his vamping.” He says to the lead guitarist. Rolling my eyes so hard right now. See, the problem is, Paul loves George. But he’s IN love with John.

Literally, a montage of them raw-dogging it on the ground would be less gay than this insanity.

Poor baby. I would’ve quit a long time ago. Good for you.

I love John’s angsty guitar and torn-up vocals post-george.

And the minute her number one hater is gone, my girl gets on a mic! Way to be, honestly. And here’s the thing. Paul and Ringo (and obviously John) love it! There should’ve been a Beatles-Ono colab on a helter-skelter type track. Would’ve killed.

Paul swinging around on that scaffolding and me doing cartwheels in the bathroom between LSAT sections. ADHD besties!

John when George quits: “If he doesn’t come back by Tuesday we get Clapton in” (which he obviously doesn’t fully mean) VS John’s reaction when Paul misses one session: sprinting down the road and climbing a wall and screaming at him

Yoko sure does know how to cater to a fearful-anxious attachment. “John, John, John, Joooooooohhhhhhhnnnn!”

Literally Mo, marry me immediately! My kingdom for a kiss! She’s literally soo beyond gorgeous, I’m dying. Okay sorry I’ll be done now.

Men are the WORST! But who is making her laugh like that? Ringo? Is she looking off in the direction of the band? I can’t tell.

Another rare Paul feminist moment! Woop! “A7, D7, G7. Get ‘em off over the weekend and you’re in.”

“So, cats and kittens. What we gonna do?” . . . “Catch up! Cats and kittens. Don’t get left behind.” ???? There have got to be so many secret jabs on RAM for John to hate it so much that we just don’t understand. Is this one of them? Was this a saying of theirs?

Okay, good job. Now that the band is here, Mo isn’t being fucking mean-girled out of the circle. Also, Ringo sits by his wife, John by his girlfriend, and Paul by his daddy. As they should.

“The maresey beat awords for the best coople of the yeeuh.” Everyone studiously ignoring him. He’s so embarrassing.

I really really love Mo, though. Like I know I’m biased because she’s pretty, but her cute little “Yes!” when Paul jokingly suggests they do it at the cavern. She loved those days. The fact that she’s an og? God bless her, literally.

“Location isn’t really our main problem at the moment.” George Martin. “It’s breathing, actually.” said in the most casual voice possible but meant with the most wounded heart. Gosh, that one hurt. And then look how George Martin looks at him. His best boy is going through it.

The huggle! Ringo initiates it with Paul, of course, turning to him and gently gripping both biceps as he forces deep, direct eye contact. But then as Ringo’s pulling away, Paul leans into him and holds him there, talking. And as Ringo’s nodding, he looks to John, who basically pounces on both of them, head bowed, arms aggressive, pulling them all in, tighter, tighter until it’s a three-way head-bonk. Ringo’s hand at John’s waist now, and Paul’s fucking iron talons clenching desperately around his bicep. But still, John manages to pull away from Paul’s grip as Yoko inserts herself between them where, really, she decidedly does Not belong. It’s got to be the most painful non-hug ever recorded on camera. Nobody knows what anyone wants, let alone how to give it to them.

Why did the gayest one also have to be the saddest one though? I guess the Lord gives his hardest battles to his gayest soldiers, smh

[since0202]

Taking Time—Fifty Five

The only answer was yes.

Word count: 8,660

I’ve never really believed in bad omens or bad luck. A black cat, a broken mirror, a broom falling before a storm. None of it was particularly foreboding to me. But what happens instead might be worse. Whenever things are going too well, I have this thread of underlying dread running like a hidden current beneath a calm sea. It’s that old saying: What can go wrong, will go wrong. You know that one? Maybe that’s still a manifestation of bad luck—always expecting the worst. It always makes itself known, though. At least to me.  

It was as if the world pressed fast forward over the next ten days for Maya. But she tried to soak it all in as much as possible. News spread of her and Paul’s engagement quickly and her mother demanded upon threat of disownment to throw her an engagement party at her childhood home. 

Maya had given in quickly, to her mother’s surprise, knowing that it was inevitable to avoid a celebration. That’s how Maya found herself on a balmy November afternoon, fielding question after question from elders, distant cousins, and people in her community she’d only seen in passing about her impending nuptials. 

“So, how did he do it?” Her aunt Isla asked conspiratorially, sandwiched between about twelve other people making a semicircle around Maya. 

“Oh, uh, on the cliffs,” she smiled genially, but her palms were sweating as she tried to rub them dry on the front of her bright red mini dress. The sweetheart neckline dipped just low enough to show the tasteful curve of the top of her breasts. Maya shivered slightly, her bare shoulders and legs seemingly more on display here than in a bikini on a California beach. 

“I want to see!” an overexcited teenage daughter of one of her mom’s friends squealed. Maya shoved her hand forward to display the glittering rock nestled on her finger. It really was beautiful and Maya was nearly breathless every time she saw it herself. The crowd around her ooh’ed and aah’ed, grabbing her hand unceremoniously and bending it this way and that to make it shimmer in the light. 

Maya grimaced, this was the same routine on repeat she had done for the past hour and a half as people circulated around her. Paul had been swallowed up by other crowds, no doubt being subjected to the same onslaught of questions. 

“Are you moving back then?” a question carried from a part of the crowd, but Maya wasn’t sure who it came from. 

“What? Oh, no, I still have another year left—,” she tried to respond but was quickly cut off by other overlapping questions:

“Can’t you transfer?” 

“Poor Paul, I’m sure he misses you terribly.”

“Newlyweds really shouldn’t be apart in their first year, it’s so important to be together.”

“You should really think about transferring.”

“When are you guys planning on trying for a baby?”

“Oh! A baby! So sweet.”

“You guys would make the cutest kids.”

It was…exhausting. 

Maya tried to smile as she curled an arm around her middle uncomfortably as the questions continued. She couldn’t even get a word in, they were just relentless. 

“Excuse me, folks,” Paul’s warm, deep voice ran a shiver down her spine. Suddenly, he was there, his arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her into his side and instantly banishing the chill that had settled over her. 

He handed her a glass of champagne that Maya desperately sipped and smiled at the crowd around them. “I need to steal my fiance away. Rish also wanted me to let you know that the food is being set up, so please go help yourselves.” Paul made it look so easy. They simply melted in front of him and dispersed immediately, providing more well wishes to them as they went. 

Paul leaned down and placed a kiss to the top of her head as Maya let out a deep sigh. 

“How are you holding up, baby?” he asked her softly, his comforting firm grip on her hip soothed her anxiety. Maya took another swig from her glass, nearly draining it before answering. 

“Just…tired,” she finally said. “Why did I agree to this again?” Maya glanced around the room before looking up and up at Paul. He smiled warmly down at her. 

“Because your mother would have hunted you down anyway and this at least gets us off the hook for attending the harvest bonfire,” he reminded her. Maya nodded and rested her forehead against his chest as she groaned softly. Only a couple more hours and they could go home. “Come on, let’s get you something to eat,” he rubbed her back gently and started to steer her toward the dining room where a massive spread of food had been deposited. 

But before they could reach it, the door opened to cheers and exclamations. Maya looked over her shoulder and her eyes widened as she watched Becks waddle through the front door, followed closely by Jacob, holding their son in one arm. 

“Becks!” Maya called out incredulously as she pulled out of Paul’s arms and hurried over to her heavily, painfully pregnant best friend. Becks turned and smiled, one hand on her lower back and one on her extended belly that sat low in front of her. “What are you doing here? I thought you were on bed rest.” 

“Yeah, me too,” Jacob said with an exasperated sigh. Becks rolled her eyes at him and shook her head. 

“This baby will not come out, so I needed to get out. Plus, you’re here. My good luck baby labor charm,” she leaned in and Maya tried to hug her around her giant belly. 

“Jeez, are you sure you’re okay? This…does not look comfortable,” Maya said as she looked over her best friend. 

“Oh, it's not. I’m…miserable,” and she looked it. Dark bags hung under her eyes from restless sleep and every part of her looked swollen. “I just couldn’t stay in bed another minute and the midwife said walking might help spur on labor.” 

“Walking in small doses,” Jacob reminded her as he bounced Ephi gently. It was always such a funny sight to Maya to see these giant, towering, strong men handle a baby with such gentleness and care. 

“Are you hungry?” Maya asked, already knowing the answer. Becks shook her head quickly and blew a breath out as if she was already going into labor. 

“No, we’ll just hang around for a bit, I think my parents are here anyway,” Becks motioned toward the double doors that led onto the back deck. 

“Okay, well let me know if you need anything,” Maya rubbed one of Becks’ arms and gave her a sympathetic smile. As they wandered off, Maya turned and saw Paul approaching with a plate in his hand. He handed her a fork and she started to take quick bites as they huddled together. 

“No baby yet?” Paul asked. 

“Mmm mm,” Maya mumbled around a mouthful of sweet potato. She loaded her fork with more food and held it up to Paul as he gratefully took a bite. People were whispering off to the side about how cute they were. It took everything in Maya not to roll her eyes at them. 

She didn’t mind these types of things, it was just being on display that irked her. Maya had never felt more like a trophy than at this very moment. Her mother was drinking all of the attention in and talking about wedding colors and themes that Maya hadn’t even started to consider. 

“How much longer do we have to stay again?” Maya asked, swallowing another sigh. 

“We’ll sneak out in about an hour. I think you’ve done enough parading and after dinner, people will start drinking and not even notice we’re gone,” he reassured her. That was a saving grace at least. She could last another hour. 

“Maya!” another gaggle of aunts called out across the room as they strode toward the happy couple. 

“Just smile, I’ll handle the questions,” he leaned down and kissed the side of her neck before neatly tucking Maya into his side again and taking on the approaching vultures. 

----------------------

The never ending list of things to do before Maya was due back in New York was making her head spin. With only three days left of her break, Paul had to unexpectedly take a trip to Seattle to consult with some huge new clients from overseas. However, he was going to fly out to the New York next week and stay with her for a bit so they could detox from the wedding frenzy that had taken over La Push and nearly ruined her fall break. 

Maya checked her messages as she left the Quileute clinic after getting her IUD removed. She already had another appointment scheduled for when she got back to New York for a new one before Paul arrived. Keye had texted her about meeting up for lunch with her and Sadie. 

Maya smiled down at her phone. Things hadn’t gone over too well after Keye had talked to Colin, but things were mostly smoothed over at this point. She hadn’t told him about the abortion, but she apologized for leaving him in the lurch and not talking to him sooner about ghosting him. 

Just as she was typing a reply to confirm their plans to meet for lunch, her mother’s face popped up on an incoming call. Maya threw her head back and groaned. She hadn’t gotten a moment of reprieve since the engagement party from neverending wedding planning from her mother. 

She considered ignoring the call for a moment before begrudgingly answering. 

“Yes, mom?” 

“Oh honey! I’m so glad I caught you. I was wondering which you liked better: Azaleas or hydrangeas?” Rish was talking a mile a minute and Maya could here the honking of cars in the background.

“Why?” Maya tried to hide her annoyance, but failed spectacularly. 

“For flowers, for your bridesmaid’s bouquets!” Rish exclaimed impatiently as if they had  had this conversation a million times already. They hadn’t. 

“Mom, I don’t even know what colors I’m doing for the wedding yet, we can’t pick flowers until I decide on colors,” she crossed the parking lot to her car. 

“I thought we said we were doing shades of pinks and greens?” 

“Nope,” Maya said in a clipped tone. 

“Well, these are perfect for spring and I think that would complement those colors so nicely anyway. I’ll bring back sample bouquets and we can look at them together,” Rish carried on. 

“Mom, I’m leaving in like 48 hours, I don’t have time to look at bouquets. I’ve got like three interviews to prep for and I’m organizing the food train for Becks before I leave. Where are you, anyway?” Maya started the car. 

“Pikes Place Market. Your father and I popped over for a couple of days to do some scouting for wedding ideas. Oh! Isn’t Paul in Seattle? Maybe I can meet up with him and go over—” 

“No! Mom, please don’t bother him. He’s in really important client meeting with some international bigwigs. Do not bother him with this.” Maya’s tone was firm. 

She really needed to set some boundaries with her mom regarding the whole wedding planning thing. She hadn’t even been engaged a week and already her mother had booked four different appointments to shop for wedding dresses in New York next month. 

“Mom, I gotta go,” if she didn’t get off the phone now, she may never escape. 

“Fine, fine, but call me later!” 

“Will do!” Maya lied. She quickly ended the call and tossed her phone into the center console with a little too much force. 

----------------------------------------------

It was early the next morning around 3 a.m. when Maya’s phone rang suddenly on the nightstand. She had made it a habit while she was home to sleep with the ringer on loud in case anyone called about Becks. 

When she answered groggily, Jacob’s voice snapped her awake. 

“She’s in labor. She’s asking for you,” Jacob said quickly. 

“I’m on my way,” Maya was already throwing off the covers and slipping into some sweatpants as she hung up. She shot a quick text to Paul to let him know when he woke up that morning and ran down to the Jeep. 

The rez was peaceful at night. As Maya coasted down the rain slicked roads toward Becks and Jacob’s she couldn’t help but relish in the cool and quiet that settled over her home. She did miss it. And she knew she always would. 

In no time, Maya had pulled and parked into the already crowded driveway at Jacob’s. As she jogged toward the front door, she could already see people milling about inside, prepping food, cleaning, and taking care of things in anticipation for the new baby. When she pushed in, everyone was keeping their voices low and Quil looked over at her, his eyes lighting up with delight: 

“She’s upstairs, Jacob said to send you up when you got here.”

Maya nodded and smiled with excitement as she took the stairs two at a time. The scene within Jacob and Becks’ bedroom was as calm as a quieted chaos could be. The lights were dimmed and gave off a warm amber glow. 

Becks was propped up in a custom canvas pool that sat in the cleared space in front of their bed. She was naked, with a small towel draped across her breasts with Jacob wedged in behind her, stroking her arms. Maya couldn’t hear what he said, but he was calmly talking in a low, honeyed voice into Becks’ ear. Her eyes were tightly closed as she breathed her way through another contraction. Maya could see the vice grip she held on Jacob’s biceps and low groans and whimpers escaped her. 

The warm water sloshed gently around her as she wiggled to try and find a comfortable seat through her contraction and the midwife and her assistants gathered around her, warming the water with fresh pours and prepping towels and tools nearby to assist with delivery. 

It was beautiful and terrifying. Maya’s eyes widened in wonder as she crossed the room quietly and sank next to the pool up by Becks’ shoulders. 

“Maya’s here,” she heard Jacob rumble softly in Becks’ ear. The contraction had passed and Becks was slumped tiredly against Jacob, sweat beading on her forehead. She turned her head across Jacob’s chest and opened her eyes blearily as a smile cracked across her face. 

“Maya,” she breathed. Maya returned that radiant smile as tears brimmed her eyes. Becks looked so beautiful and so incredibly strong. Her towel covered chest rose and fell as she took deep, calming breaths. She reached out for Maya’s hand and grasped it immediately. 

“Hey babe, how are you doing?” Maya said just as softly as Jacob had, trying to mirror the calming atmosphere everyone was working so hard to keep for her. 

“He’s…he’s coming,” Becks said. Her eyes were glassy, but filled with sheer happiness even though Maya knew she was in excruciating pain. Quileute women traditionally delivered naturally, unless there was some exceeding circumstance or planned c-section. This time, Becks had wanted to do it all exactly right as everyone of her mother, grandmothers, and great grandmothers before her. 

Jacob helped prop Becks up a little higher on his chest as he rubbed along the sides of her belly. The midwife smiled warmly at Maya and checked Becks’ progress. 

“You’re almost there, honey,” the midwife confirmed, “Time to push very soon, okay? Just keep listening to your body and let him come on his own. You’re doing great.” Maya had to hand it to her, she was very convincing. 

Maya knew that in time when she and Paul had kids, if she decided to do it the Quileute way, at home, with her husband behind her, in a water bath, she’d be absolutely terrified. But Becks just looked ready—elated even—to be bringing her second child into the world. It was something she couldn’t even fathom as being a part of her life at this moment, but she was just so happy to be there for Becks again. 

Becks’ breathing picked up again as another contraction rolled through her. She squeezed Maya’s hand and held onto Jacob as a deep sob erupted from her throat. 

“That’s it, there you go, mama,” the midwife coached, “Just like that.” She must have been getting close because Maya watched as a flurry of activity suddenly happened around her. Assistants were preparing, noting times and dates, keeping time, and prepping the towels. The midwife leaned over the side of the water bath and helped the assistants position and hold one of each of Becks’ legs firmly in their arms, anchoring her into a birthing position. 

Again, a fresh wave of terror washed over Maya as she held tightly to Becks who just seemed to know exactly what to do. Jacob was methodically counting out breaths for Becks as she arched and groaned through the last intense contraction. 

“Alright, Becks, ready?” the midwife confirmed from her place below. Becks nodded quickly, “Dad, ready?” Jacob braced Becks and nodded swiftly, his eyes never leaving the side of his wife’s face. “Next contraction, I want you to start pushing,” the midwife stated. 

Maya hadn’t realized her own breathing had picked up as her eyes darted from Becks’ face to the midwife between her thighs watching carefully for signs. The next contraction began quickly. 

“There you go! Push mama! Bear down against them,” she instructed. Becks pushed and nearly screamed as she held on tightly to Jacob and Maya both. 

“Push, baby, push!” Jacob chanted still calm but firm in her ear. Becks’ cheeks were reddening and Jacob urged her to take a breath as the contraction wound down. 

“Good! Good, deep breaths, 1, 2, 3, 4,” the midwife’s hand was nowhere Maya could see. Suddenly the calm and quiet room was just pure energy and it all centered around Becks. The assistants were counting out breaths, their rhythmic voices offering clarity and guidance through the controlled chaos, “Again!” the midwife said louder. “Push, Becks!” 

“Push, push,” Jacob began again. Maya mirrored him, chanting softly as Becks’ wailed through another contraction, her face contorting in pain, mouth wide open as stuttering groans broke free of her throat. 

“Fuck,” Maya said under her breath. This was unlike anything she had ever witnessed. Even before, when she had been there for the birth of Ephriam, Carlisle had made it seem like no time had passed at all before he was placing the newborn on Becks. But this…this was something else. It was a moment in time, meant to be experienced and meant to be something bigger and more symbolic than just the birth of a child, but rather the persistence of their tribe to simply exist in the face of seemingly unending pain. 

Maya watched as Becks pushed through contraction after contraction, slowly delivering her second son into the world. And all she saw was strength. 

On the final push, Becks let out an otherworldly scream as he slid the rest of the way out and into the waiting water below. A new burst of activity began around them. The assistant’s lowered her legs and removed the warm wet towel covering her heaving breasts. Maya’s eyes were clouded with tears, as were Jacob’s as the midwife quickly pulled their baby from the water. He let out a guttering, wet cry and Becks, exhausted and sweating, broke into a smile and laughed so bright Maya thought her heart would split in two with joy. 

The midwife quickly placed the wailing baby on Becks’ waiting chest, nestling him between her breasts. Jacob’s large hand came up to cover their baby’s back as he kissed the side of Becks’ face over and over, whispering in her ear things Maya couldn’t and didn’t need to hear. It was pure love, this picture before her. 

Becks was crying softly as she held her newborn son, her head pressed into the crook of Jacob’s neck. Maya stood slowly and took a step back from the pool, her heart beating wildly in her chest as she took in the scene before her. Her best friend was overwhelmingly happy and Maya understood this was where Becks was meant to be. 

As she slowly slipped out of the bedroom to leave them to their intimate first moments with their son, she watched as Becks turned her head up toward Jacob’s, her free hand cupping his cheek as he looked down adoringly at her. He kissed her slowly and Maya shut the door behind her, the tears still falling freshly down her cheeks as she disappeared into the dark hallway. 

Maya covered her mouth and cried softly. She felt a buzzing throughout her whole body that she could only imagine was happiness. 

“My?” A soft voice floated from the top of the stairs. Maya whirled around, her hand dropping to her chest as she gasped. Paul’s darkened figure stood just a step below the landing and he watched her carefully, his eyes shifting to something darker as they laid upon her. 

“Jesus, Paul, you scared me! What are you doing here?!” Maya didn’t even try to hide her tears as she crossed the landing to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and sniffling into his neck. 

He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him before bringing his other hand up to gently wipe the tears off her face and push her loose hair back. 

“I got your message that Becks was in labor and caught a red eye,” he said in a low whisper. The sound struck a warm thrum deep in her belly and she swallowed thickly. His eyes looked over her face slowly, taking in every piece of her, memorizing her emotions. “What’s wrong?” 

Maya shook her head slowly and closed her eyes for a moment. “Nothing, really. It was just intense and she’s just so happy…It makes me happy that she’s happy,” she felt like she wasn’t making much sense but Paul nodded as a crooked smile broke across his face as if he understood. 

“I know, baby,” he whispered, leaning down to kiss her slowly. Maya sucked in a deep breath of him as their lips connected, relishing in that soft earth and spice scent. She leaned her body into his and felt that warmth spread throughout her belly. Paul’s hands gripped her hips tightly and she felt a rush of euphoria sweep through. She was so very warm that Paul’s hands felt almost cold. When they broke their kiss after a few moments, Maya was nearly panting. She stepped back to get a grip and wipe her eyes again. Paul kept his grip on her waist and when she finally let her eyes adjust and settle on him, he looked intense. 

The sharp, strong curve of his jaw was softened by his trimmed beard, and Maya reached up absently to stroke her hand across it. Lightning prickled on her fingertips as she did and she watched Paul wet his lips in response. 

“We should go home,” his voice was a deep rumble in her chest. When her eyes darted away from his mouth to connect with his, she saw fire. She tried to stifle a small gasp, but it slipped from her throat. Paul’s grip tightened further and pulled her closer as if on instinct. 

Maya shook her head to try and clear it. Her heart beat wildly in her chest and she closed her eyes for a moment before she stuttered out, “N-no, I need to start breakfast and m-make sure everyone is on assignment.” 

When she opened her eyes to carefully look at him again, she knew she was done for. “Kim’s got it under control. Let’s go home,” the command was subtle and he tugged her near him as they descended the stairs together. Maya made quick and quiet goodbyes, waving to the sleepy group of people milling about doing chores and small tasks in the early hours as dawn broke. Paul guided her out into the cool air, never letting them stop as they walked swiftly toward her Jeep. 

The cool air felt like a wash of sleet melting on her skin. Maya let Paul deposit her into the passenger side of the Jeep and only when he snapped the door shut behind her did she notice that she was breathing too quickly as if she had just run a marathon. She focused on breathing through her nose and out through her mouth, trying to quietly calm herself as Paul steered them expertly through the dark toward home. But her heartbeat barely slowed. When she stole a glance toward Paul, she saw the muscle in his jaw tick and the whites of his knuckles as he gripped the steering wheel. But he didn’t seem mad…just anxious to get home.

Finally, once they pulled into the driveway, Maya started to feel a little more settled. The warmth of the house inside was a blur as Paul pulled Maya upstairs toward the bathroom and quickly turned on the shower. Everything felt hazy, as if the adrenaline was coating her brain in a strange fog. 

“P-Paul?” she barely whispered as she turned to face him. He was gently pulling off her shirt and sweats. Maya could feel his hands shaking as he undressed her. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m trying very hard to be gentle, but I just feel like ripping your clothes off,” he said through  gritted teeth. Maya shook her head sleepily, standing in just panties as she said, 

“Just rip them, who cares.” Paul didn’t hesitate upon her permission to rip the cotton easily from her body. She sighed in exaltation and stood naked before him as he quickly shed his clothes and backed her into the shower. 

The water felt barely warm against her hot skin, but she stayed put beneath it as Paul brought his mouth down to hers, stroking her body lovingly beneath the water. Everything was quiet, except for their panting breaths as he quickly scrubbed her down with soap and reverently rinsed her. She felt the thick heated length of him resting against her stomach and swallowed as her mouth watered. 

Just as quickly as he had placed them in the shower, she felt him guiding her out, toweling her down softly and moving her to the bed, his hands roaming around her body, touching every part of her, his lips moving across her shoulders and neck. 

Maya collapsed on the bed, writhing gently against the sheets. Every stretch of her body felt delicious and the soft sheets felt like a warm caress against her skin. Paul’s hands settled on her thighs and the heat of his touch felt normal. For once, they felt like they were the same temperature. 

His lips started to kiss the inside of her thigh, quickly gliding up to her center before he took a deep breath of her and dove in. The groan that emanated from him made her shudder. Maya’s cheeks reddened. She was already soaked, but every swipe of his tongue between her legs was like a bolt of lightning up her spine. 

Maya could vaguely hear herself beg—his name, pleadings, promises, needs. But she was still lost in that heady haze. She felt him rise up above her and then the taste of her bloomed on her lips as he kissed her. There was urgency in his touch, but when she gripped his biceps, he slowed as if remembering himself. 

Nothing had ever felt like this. Maya felt as Paul gently pressed against her opening, but he waited, pulling back from their kiss to look down at her. 

“Ready?” his voice came out husky and deep. Maya exhaled, her eyes hooded as she breathed a quick: “Yes, yes please.” 

He slid all the way home and Maya’s back arched off the bed as she let out a startled yelp. He felt…much, much bigger. Was he always this big? The stretch was overwhelming and even with how wet she was, she felt every inch of him within her. Paul let out a low moan into her ear and paused, trying to catch his breath. 

“Paul, ah, fuck!” Maya gasped between small whines. Each time she moved, seemingly involuntarily against him, she felt a snap of pain and then aching relief within her. 

“My, fuck, I know baby, just—you feel so,” he let out a laugh against her throat. He was shaking all over. Maya whined and rotated her hips ever so slightly and felt him cinch tighter inside her. 

“How are you—,” another gasp of air, “This big? It feels—” 

“Amazing,” he leaned up to look down at her, trying a tentative push against her, “You feel amazing, baby.” 

She had to admit, besides the slightly uncomfortable stretch at her opening where he seemed to bulge larger than before, he did feel incredible inside of her. Sweat beaded on her forehead, her nipples tight peaks that rose and fell, grazing against his chest with every breath. 

“Let me just..” he groaned again as he shifted inside of her and Maya swallowed hard. He brought one of her knees up and stretched her open more. Her back automatically bowed off of the bed and Paul’s eyes coasted down the length of her in awe. 

His hands gripped around her ribcage as he leaned back and started to press slowly in and out of her. Maya was lost, her head was swimming, and she felt like she was on fire. Every stroke felt like she would split in two but each time he withdrew it was like a new ache bloomed in her, waiting to be filled. 

She watched him above her, his eyes transfixed on her naked body, heated and hungry, and something within her just snapped. Her whole body shook and his mouth fell open as he watched her come undone quickly. There was nothing like this. She didn’t know how it felt this way, but she never wanted it to end. 

As soon as her orgasm rinsed through her, Paul still pushing slowly into her, she gasped, her eyes widening as realization rocketed through her. “Fuck! Stop, stop!” 

“Wh-what?! What’s wrong?” He was over her in a second, his hand coming to cup her cheeks as she pushed against his chest roughly, “My, what is it?” 

“Condom! We need a fucking condom, fuck!” He was still inside of her and Maya couldn’t help but arch her hips into him with a whimper. 

“Why? My, we talked about this, it’s just superstition,” he pleaded in between heavy pants. She could tell it was killing him not to move. His eyes were wild as he clenched his jaw. 

“No, I don’t have any…Fuck! I got my IUD taken out,” she was frantic now. Paul stilled, his eyes wide. 

“What?” his voice was low, that same gravelly, heated tone coating his words. “You’re not—” 

“I didn’t know you were going to be back and I had an appointment to get a new one put in in New York before you were supposed to meet me out there,” she was still pushing slightly against his chest, but his eyes had a far away look to them, his mouth hung open, and he was still inside her. “PAUL!” 

“Fuck! Okay, hold on,” he looked down between them and gently tried to pull out of her. He was wedged so tightly inside of her, Maya threw her head back and screamed at the sensation. It was neither painful, nor pleasurable, but just left a harsh aching behind that had her pulse ratcheting up. When he finally pulled all the way out, Maya sucked in a breath and looked between them. 

“Did you come?” she was shaking from the adrenaline, from the ache, she didn’t know. He shook his head still looking down at her before replying. 

“No, not yet.” 

“Okay, okay. Good,” Maya breathed, falling back onto the pillows. She was thoroughly wound up now and tried to wipe the sweat off of her forehead. “Just, grab a condom and we can keep going,” she nearly begged. He moved soundlessly to the nightstand, methodical and quick. 

By the time Maya had leaned up on her elbows to look at him, she saw both her body and his were covered in a thin sheen of sweat. He rolled the condom tightly onto his shaft, wincing as he did. 

“Ready?” she said in a whisper. He looked up at her, but his face was unreadable. He was still panting, but he nodded. 

“Turn over,” he didn’t give her a moment to comprehend his request before grabbing one of her knees and flipping her onto her belly, “Ass up,” he directed, pulling her hips up. Maya’s heart thumped wildly as she felt him rub his now covered tip against her opening and slid back in. It was just as tight as the first time but Maya rocked through the discomfort. Paul was a man possessed behind her, pulling her hips tightly back onto his as he thrust into her. 

She was quickly coming apart again beneath him and this time, she closed her eyes, biting down against the pillow as he hammered home inside of her. Stars popped behind her eyelids and she heard a deafening moan around her. She wasn’t sure if it was her or Paul. Maybe it was both of them, but whatever it was, she could feel him tightening again inside of her. As her body contracted and flooded with warmth, his thrusts began to stutter and suddenly he was unable to move at all inside of her. 

He leaned over her back, panting and dripping sweat, “Don’t..Don’t move,” he pleaded. She could feel him twitch inside of her. The feeling of it was euphoric. Every breath she pulled in tightened her belly and made her acutely aware of every inch of him, making her shudder and ripple with pleasure. 

Maya thought she might actually pass out with how much she was feeling all at once. She was both too hot and pleasantly burning. A matchstick, set alight. Maya moved ever so slightly, curving her hips away from him and froze when he let out a pained moan. She looked over her shoulder at him and he placed his hand on her lower back. 

“Stay still, baby. Just for a minute…let me just…” he was absently kissing and nibbling on her shoulder to placate her. 

“Are you okay?” Maya said, breathlessly. Paul let out a soft huff of air that almost sounded like a laugh. 

“Yeah, honey, I just… need to calm down a bit,” his other hand found her hip and he squeezed tightly. “You were so good for me, My.” He chuckled a bit as if just as taken aback as she was by their shared euphoria. 

Maya glowed at the praise but couldn’t help from wiggling at the sensation of him between her thighs. After a few moments, Paul eased out of her slowly as Maya collapsed completely on the bed. She turned over to stare up at him as he sat back on his knees, head lifted to the ceiling, as sweat poured off of him. She’d never seen him so…undone. 

Her eyes sparkled with delight and she couldn’t help but smile mischievously up at him. He took a few more breaths before lowering his head to gaze down at her and laughed again. 

“What?” he smiled that warm, signature smile of his and it made butterflies burst in her belly. 

“Nothing, you’re just…sort of beautiful, is all,” she replied softly. He nodded as if he hadn’t expected her to say anything else and got up with a groan, padding over to the bathroom. 

Maya propped herself up on the covers and waited until he came back with a warm washcloth. He gently cleaned between her legs and wiped himself off before collapsing on the bed next to her. Maya snuggled into the crook of his arm and in no time, they had both drifted off to sleep, their equal warmth radiating off one another. 

--------------------------------------------------

“I don’t think I’m going to make it this weekend either. The shipment just came in and it’s looking rough,” Maya could hear the crackle of disappointment in Paul’s voice as she hurried across campus. The biting cold made her nose run and hard pellets of snow pelted her forehead. Maya heard a distinct crashing sound on the line and couldn’t help but wince as an onslaught of expletives spilled from Paul’s mouth. 

“It’s okay. I’m just getting over this stupid cold anyway and I really need to meet with my thesis advisor this week to start getting plugged into my lab options,” Maya blew out a huff of air, walking through the quickly dispersing fog of it. She fished a tissue out of her pocket that Rosalie had kept stashed there for her and wiped her constant running nose. 

At least she was starting to feel better. Her labs had a wicked cold run through all the students and Maya was seemingly the last to recover. Everyone had been coughing and hacking for what felt like weeks. She felt like she was through the worst of it though and with her newfound surge of energy, she really wanted to dig into prep for her thesis. The spring semester always flew by and before she knew it, she would be in her final year as an undergrad at Columbia. The thought made her head spin. 

“My, it’s New Years. Shouldn’t you be enjoying yourself?” Paul reasserted. Maya pulled open the heavy door to the main library and relished at the warmth washing over her. 

She’d barely taken a break even over Christmas. Paul had planned to come see her for her Christmas break, but Jacob had held him back, citing some weird disappearance up North that he had to check in with the Cullens about in Alaska. So, Paul had stayed behind for the pack. 

Despite Paul’s effusive apologizing, it hadn’t bothered Maya at all. She and Rosalie and Emmett had spent a great weekend together. Truth be told, it was the most sleep Maya had gotten since she’d flown back after fall break. But still Paul had felt guilty for not coming sooner like he’d promised, despite Maya’s placating. 

“I enjoyed myself last week,” Maya breathed a sigh of relief as she unwound her scarf. Her lab was quiet during the weekends. “It’s fine, babe. Just come whenever the work stuff blows over, I’ll be here.” Maya reassured him. He sounded stressed and she just wanted to see him, but piling on him more wasn’t what he needed right now. “Did Jake make it back okay?”

“Yeah,” there was a long pause as Paul blew out breath and Maya unpacked her bag slowly. 

“And?” she prompted. 

“And,” Paul sounded distracted, “And I might have to go with him next time.” 

“Next time?” That piqued Maya’s curiosity. 

“Yeah, there’s apparently more going on up there than we thought. I’m not really sure on all the details but—Fuck! My, baby, I gotta go,” a flurry of voices sounded in the background, along with some very angry beeping. 

“Okay! Good luck,” she called out. 

“You too,” he managed before the line disconnected. Maya let out a sigh and stared down at her lab notebook. She wasn’t disappointed that he wasn’t going to make it out here for new years, but she had hoped they’d see each other sooner rather than later. 

At least there was still the work ahead of her. 

Maya sat on the lab stool, blew her nose for the millionth time, and dug into her work. 

---------------------------------------------

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” Rosalie asked from behind Maya as she fluffed her perfectly curled blonde hair. Maya sighed and shook her head, adjusting her corset top with  Renaissance themed artwork painted across it. She had found it in the Village earlier that week on a rare shopping outing that Rosalie had insisted on. 

“I’m sure. I’m meeting everyone at Giordi’s in like half an hour,” Maya insisted. Her nose was only slightly red from the last little bit of her cold, but honestly it weirdly brightened her face. 

“Okay, well call me or Emmett if you’re over it and want a rescue,” Rosalie insisted. Maya nodded as she dusted her makeup brush across her bronzer and blended along the contours of her face. 

“I will, now go have fun!” Rosalie burst with a smile at that, so incredibly lovely and eerily glowing. Maya was never put off by their strange beauty, but more so fascinated by it. Like a scientist wanting to observe and study a new culture. Rosalie floated out of the room gracefully, her golden shift dress sparkling as she went. 

 Maya took a last sip of water, donned her heavy Gucci black puffer coat and zipped up the sides of her leather heeled boots. She promised herself she’d stay for at least a few hours, just until midnight, and then she could come home and crawl into bed. While her cold had dissipated, the stress of her thesis and subtly avoiding Arden had tanked her energy. 

She was exhausted, and the stress of it all wasn’t lending herself to sleeping well. She tossed and turned most nights and when she woke up, Maya would often text or even call Paul. It was like an impulse and just hearing his voice or seeing him type out a reply was like a salve to her anxiety. 

The walk to Giordi’s was only about six blocks, but Maya caught a cab anyway, using the excuse of her heeled leather boots to sink warmly into the backseat and nearly float away from the already persistent tiredness. 

The ride was short and as Maya spilled out of the cab, she watched as eager partygoers poured into the restaurant. There was a hidden club downstairs that flaunted an impressive amount of a space for how unassuming the little restaurant was. Maya made her way in with the crowd, scanning for her friends and cohort. 

It didn’t take long once she got downstairs to find them huddled around one side of the elongated bar. She bounced over and smiled, ready to put as much energy forward as she could muster and determined to have a good time. 

They all cheered in unison when they saw her and Jamie, her energetic lab partner pulled her into a side hug before handing her a shot of something. Maya took a whiff and nearly gagged. 

“This smells like lighter fluid, what is it?” she grimaced. Jamie and a few of the others laughed before knocking back their own shots. 

“It’s just vodka,” Jamie reassured her as she threw back her own shot, sans chaser. Maya felt like gagging but choked back the shot, feeling her stomach roil painfully. Not a good idea. 

“UGH!” she groaned, shaking her head. 

“Come on!” Toby, a boy in her cohort beckoned, “You gotta catch up, we’ve been here for at least an hour.” Maya shook her head aggressively and leaned on the bar to order a water. 

“No chance,” she called over her shoulder to them. They already looked pretty drunk, or on their way to being so, but Maya didn’t have any interest in getting hammered tonight. She was hoping to get up a little early tomorrow to get her outline finished and over to her thesis advisor. 

Have fun. Relax. That little voice inside of her head begged at her. Funny how it almost sounded like Pauls’ voice. She would have fun, just maybe not the drunken, disorderly fun they were all expecting on new years eve. 

Maya stayed close to her friends, sipping a diet coke she had lied and told them was spiked. They were all having a great time, and even she had to admit, she was having fun, even if she wasn’t dancing wildly in the pounding club like her friends. Instead, she stayed tucked into the bar, swaying her hips to the music and watching out as people cheered and bobbed to the crescendoing music. 

Maya glanced up at the giant digital clock suspended over the dance floor to denote the countdown to midnight. Only an hour left and she could sneak away. Her bed sounded amazing right now. As she turned to order a refill, she felt a warm presence sidle up behind her and before she could turn, a warm voice said in her ear: “Hey you.” 

Maya whipped around and looked up to see: “Noah!” she cried out. He laughed, his sweet, familiar face beaming down at her. She crashed into him in a tight hug that he joyfully returned. 

“What’s up, My-pie?!” he crooned. 

“When did you get back?!” He had been gone for the entire semester, studying at a sister college in the UK for his thesis and working closely with a think tank to develop some really exciting research about clean energy. 

“About an hour ago,” he looked down at his watch and laughed, “What are you drinking?” he nodded to the diet coke that the bartender slid back toward Maya. 

“Oh, uh, rum and coke?” she offered the lie easily and he nodded. The bartender asked what he wanted and he ordered a whiskey, neat. Maya arched an eyebrow. 

“Yeah, I’m not really looking to get hammered either,” he said genially as he leaned against the bar. Maya sagged with relief and smiled. “Jet lag,” he offered as an excuse. Maya nodded seriously and then broke out into a smile. Noah was here. 

They had barely seen each other since the summer and she really had missed him. They fell into easy conversation as well as they could around the pulsating music for a bit. Her crowd of friends barrelled back over once they saw Noah and demanded another round of shots. Maya insisted she had to use the bathroom and snuck off in search of it. 

“Hurry back!” Noah pleaded as he nodded toward the impending clock. Only fifteen minutes until midnight. The bar was being overrun with people trying to order a fresh drink before the new year. 

Maya weaved through the crowd and thankfully found the nearly empty bathroom. She quickly peed and took some deep breaths to try and quell her stomach that still hadn’t stopped panging angrily since that initial shot. In the stall next to her, someone heaved and threw up into the toilet. Maya tried to breathe through her mouth so as to avoid the smell of vomit sneaking under the stall, but it was no use. It hit her like a bus and before she knew it, she was arched over the toilet, spilling the contents of her stomach into the dirty toilet below. 

What the fuck was she doing here? Maya wiped the beading sweat away from her forehead and tried to gulp down some air before she threw up once more. With shaking hands she lifted herself up and staggered out to the sink. Now that the rogue shot was cleared from her stomach, she felt better, but was still shaking slightly with adrenaline. Her phone buzzed in her bag and Maya ignored it. 

Instead, she thoroughly rinsed her mouth out and popped a breath mint before braving the crowded club again. She was just going to tell Noah she was going to catch a cab home. It wasn’t worth it and she desperately wanted to be in her bed at this moment. 

If she was being honest with herself though, she desperately wished Paul was here. It wasn’t like the aching absence that the imprint had thrust upon her before—no that hadn’t happened since before fall break. Instead, it was just a present longing that threatened to make Maya tear up. The door to the bathroom swung open and a girl stumbled in, bracing herself on the sink next to Maya. 

Maya took another moment to wipe the sweat from her forehead and dampen the back of her neck with some cold water before she turned to leave, but the girl stopped her. 

“Hey! Oh, fuck,” the girl winced slightly and looked at Maya, her eyes not quite focusing on her. “Do you have a tampon?” 

“Oh!” Maya exclaimed as she started to dig in her purse, “Yeah, one sec,” as she rummaged in her purse, a pit fell to the bottom of her stomach. She grabbed the tampon from her full supply in her bag and handed it to the girl who slurred her thanks and trudged off toward an open stall. 

Maya stared vacantly at the door to the bathroom, trying to slow her breathing. The muffled sounds of the club beat just beyond the door and she wanted to go home. Now. 

As she made her way across the crowded dance floor to cheers and cries as the final few minutes to midnight began, she spotted Noah among a clump of her friends just off to the side of the dance floor. He caught her eye and waved frantically at her. Maya tried to keep her shoulders back and her mind clear so as not to give away any unnecessary worry on her face. 

“My! You almost missed it!” Noah cried out as he pointed to the clock overhead. The final minute until midnight began and people began cheering as the DJ lowered the music so people could countdown at the ten second mark. 

“Sorry, I just…I think I’m actually going to head home,” Maya yelled over the loud crowd chattering and hollering around her. 

“What?!” Noah shouted back as he leaned down to hear her better. 

“I think I’m gonna head home!” she repeated in his ear. Noah leaned up and looked at her face, opening his mouth as if to protest and then he looked behind her, his face cracking into a friendly smile. 

“TEN, NINE, EIGHT, SEVEN, SIX!” Maya’s eyes widened as she looked at Noah in confusion and then she heard a warm, deep voice in her ear. 

“There you are.” 

Maya whirled around and her heart nearly stuttered to a full stop as her mouth hung open in genuine surprise. 

“FOUR, THREE, TWO,” the crowd continued. 

“Paul!” Maya gasped as she automatically fell into his arms. 

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!” the crowd shouted in unison. 

Paul leaned down slowly, his arms wrapped warmly around her as his hands snaked her waists. He kissed her gently and Maya stood on her tiptoes, wrapping her arms up around his neck as she pressed more firmly into the kiss. All around them, people were kissing and cheering as sparkling confetti fluttered down from the ceiling and was caught glimmering in the lights of the club. When they finally pulled apart, Paul’s eyes were hooded with deep adoration. Maya couldn’t stop the tears from welling in her eyes now as the longing she felt just moments ago rapidly dissolved, replacing it with an overwhelming joy. 

“Happy new year, Maya,” he said warmly. 

“Happy new year,” she smiled, “You’re here.” 

“I am,” he said, swaying her gently from side to side as Auld Lang Syne played softly from the speakers and people sang along. “I figured, since I’d already missed a couple of our dates, I wasn’t going to be late to this one.” 

Late. Late. Late. Late. 

Maya’s heartbeat sped up and she smiled shakily. “I’m just glad you’re here now,” she shook her head and pressed her body more firmly against his. 

“Wouldn’t miss it,” he leaned down to kiss her forehead, turning her gently to the music, “I love you.” 

Maya closed her eyes and leaned her head against his chest, “I love you too.” 

Next > >

[catholic-character-tournament]

Round 1 - Side B

Propaganda below ⬇️

Johnathan

Catholicism doesn’t really exist in the game but it also kind of does. Basically, Johnathan didn’t know that God existed until one day all the angels started coming down from heaven to have a war with the demons from hell. And then Johnathan made a pledge to go serve god and heaven and kill all humans living on earth because they were like “unfit” or “unclean” or something. So then Johnathan’s friend Walter goes to hang out with satan and then they become enemies :( But he’s basically catholic even if he doesn’t directly call himself that so i’m gonna say yes.

Johnathan literally fuses himself with god to become merkabach. He is unhinged. At the start of the game i thought he was cool because he didn’t want me to kill my best friend like WALTER did. And unlike WALTER, johnathan didn’t fuck up the boss fight with the minotaur. But then johnathan became really really bourgeoise or bougie idk whatever idk how to spell it. And then johnathan was like “FUCK POOR PEOPLE” and i was like no girl nooooo. But johnathan wanted to fuse himself with god and wipe all humans off the face of the earth because heaven thought they were impure. So he was trying to invoke the angels of destruction so badly and i was like johnathan you can’t do that son, and so i had to beat his ass. And then by extension i had to also beat god’s ass. And then i don’t really remember what happens but johnathan was essentially the most catholic guy in existence considering i don’t know anybody else who was chill enough with god to do steven universe fusion with him.

ok so like in smt theres alignments . chaos neutral and law. jonathan is the local lawboy and this means hes like the one who rather follow the rules already established and reject radical changes. but anyways hes also shown to be some sort of follower of god in this world and also of the like. local religion or whatever in mikado (where everyone is from) and hes very devoted to the cause and to keep things peaceful as they are now instead of trying to change shit up like walter (the chaosboy)

if he wants to commit genocide who am i to say no

has one fight with friend and decides to become an angel about it and nuke tokyo off the map

Fuses with literal biblical angels to become another angel that then wants to genocide anyone deemed ungodly/unclean by the biblical higher powers (which includes the entire population of Tokyo. And people who read manga).

Dude he is absolutely insane. He's my poor little meow meow. The party got high and he rolled around on the floor and meowed because he thought he was a cat. He is also so insanely gay. Like stupidly queer coded . that just makes the catholic guilt hit harder tbh

Gay boy who dies in every timeline

Paul

he's like if renfield from dracula was cool youth pastor.

He's also a priest, who essentially becomes a vampire due to an "angel" and tries to convert the entire town. He also runs an Alcoholics Anonymous group. I love him

Listen you've probably gotten this guy idk how many times but JUST IN CASE, I submitted him. He's a priest who fell in love and had a lesbian daughter. He becomes a vampire after his money-laundering fundie simp sent him to the Holy Land. He's so torn up over his lover having dementia and God allowing so much overwhelming death that he decides he's going to try to Cure Death Forever but oh boy is it a slippery slope and the man is surrounded by enablers.

so i binged watch the chosen (it's a drama series but it's the bible) and I needed to balance or else Id be insane so I watched midnight mass. It was good. Fuck this rat -- op

[bigfootsboytoy]

Richies parents are gone. Not dead...at least he doesn't think so. Just gone. Overnight his parents and all their stuff disappeared from the house. The only things they left behind were Richie himself, and two post-it notes on the fridge. The first one had a reminder to feed the cat. The second? That one had a way more confusing message.

HAVE TO LEAVE. STAY WITH PAUL.

Scribbled at the bottom was the address for the office where his dad worked.

Richie waited for about 3 days to see if his parents would make some sort of miraculous return. Then he ran out of food, and since his parents didn't exactly leave any money for him. He finally took his parents cryptic note and went to the police station. The police weren't exactly helpful.

"What do you want us to do kid?"

"Look for my parents! They're missing. What if they're hurt, or in some sort of trouble?"

"I don't know what to tell ya. They left a note, seems like you should be talking to this Paul fella, not to us."

Richie tried to argue that this situation didn't make any sense, that his parents could be in danger, that he didn't even know who Paul was. The HDPD had no interest in hearing about any of it. His folks left him a note clearly designating him a guardian, so obviously everything was fine in the eyes of the law.

So Richie found himself at a boring old office, standing in front of a reception desk and asking for Paul.

The man who came to talk to him was average. Like, the kind of guy who's picture would be in the dictionary next to the words 'normal man'. He spent at least 3 minutes after Richie explained what was going on muttering 'okay' okay his breath before he turned to the receptionist.

"Hey Melissa, I think I have to take the rest of the day off. Apparently I am supposed to watch..."

"Richie."

"Yes. Richie. I have to watch him."

And so Richie ends up in a cramped little apartment with a strange man he's mever interacted with before this day, and missing parents. Easily one of the top 3 worst weeks of his life.

He can tell Paul is panicking just as much as he is, if not more. The poor guy clearly wasn't expecting to be responsible for a kid out of nowhere. It's kind of hard to decide who got screwed over the most here.

"Well uh, Richie. Make yourself at home?"

"Thanks?"

"This is weird, right??"

"So so weird. What the hell is even happening right now. Why am I staying here? Don't I have like, a weird uncle who can take me in??"

"Maybe I'm the weird uncle?"

It didn't exactly fit, but nothing else did, so fuck it.

"I guess so. My weird Uncle Paul who I'm not actually related to whatsoever."

"I guess I don't mind being a weird uncle."

"Okay then. Nice to meet you Uncle Paul "

"Nice to meet you too Richie."

[theoutcastrogue]

Trickster saves the world by fucking it all up

“The water begins to part, and you see vast and many realms of the Neverafter, many stories, many different versions of the stories of your companions. You see different versions of Pinocchio, different versions of Sleeping Beauty. All these things unveil themselves to you, and you see lots of great powers in this world. You see witches and fairies. You see monsters, like a terrible leviathan coming after Pinocchio. You see the Big Bad Wolf from Little Red Riding Hood’s legend.

But you also see, over and over again, this continuation of animals in these stories getting up to mischief, and you look back at all the different lives you’ve lived, and you always see the clever fox, the cunning rabbit. You see these different versions of the cat in these stories, and in some places you’re helping, in some you’re hurting. But you feel this sudden tug or pull of understanding that there’s some reason or purpose to the animals that appear in these stories.

And when you think of your most recent life, of taking a poor miller’s son and through cleverness and trickery making him king, it seemed that there were a lot of forces trying to control the flow of these stories and determine what it is they should be, and that your role has often been to upset that. That you’ve lived many lives of saying, something’s actually going to be a different way now. Something unexpected or strange or hilarious is going to happen to subvert the order of how these things tend to go.”

— the DM (Brennan Lee Mulligan) to Puss in Boots (Zay Oyama) in Neverafter Episode 4: “Once Upon A Time”

Reynard the Fox

“In mythology, whenever a system becomes overregulated, a figure spontaneously appears to restore balance by introducing chaos. The trickster is “playful, mischievous, and sometimes outrageous.” He delights in paradox, confusion, and “auspicious bewilderment”. He keeps us from being too confident that we know what we are doing or that we are in control. [...] The trickster confounds a perspective that sees reality only through the lens of power. He proves that something exists that is neither power nor its opposite.”

— Susan Wyatt, “Awakening the Trickster”

“[Tricksters] stabilize society by annoying it.”

— Paul Mattick reviewing Lewis Hyde’s Trickster makes this world

“I feel like in the last one, my kind of life was a little simpler. I did some trickery, but overall, I was a little on the sweeter side. And I think it seems fun and it seems correct to just fuck it all up.”

— Puss in Boots (Zac Oyama) in Neverafter Episode 4: “Once Upon A Time”

@we-are-trickster​

[sageandred]

911 Lone Star Rewatch Notes~ Season 2

Been recapping the episodes for myself as a refresher; posting this one late from the drafts, but oh well!

2x01: Back in the Saddle

why tf don't I remember a stolen military tank driving down the street? lmao

Police on the scene: "And if he decides to shoot at us with the cannon?" "..Duck." 🤭 Carlos <3

ohhhh now I remember: Owen->🧍‍♂️🚎<-the tank RT UP 2 HIS FACE

I remember loving Tommy's entrance/introduction. She was a great addition in s2.

Tommy is so calm, lol, while this roller derby girl has a piece of floorboard sticking thru her torso

..and her arm?!?! Ooo that looks painful

"Is it that noticeable [that he's stressed]?" "I noticed and I'm pretty sure I haven't looked at you since you walked in." Marjan (loml)<-->TK dynamic things & "I noticed her noticing." ok, i love Paul (nothing new)

Carlos massaging TK while he's stressed and telling his divorced-kid experience story. (it's abt the details)

Tommy getting harnessed up to climb a cell tower, making a tourniquet at the top, and being targeted by a crossbow shooter in her first episode. They put the paramedic in action.

lmao "We're taking fire." "Did you just say —? ..we don't hear anything down here." I love the crossbow angle; it's so unserious.

"You know if you get yourself shot again, you're never making it out of the doghouse." (he cares so much) -- "Firefighters. You really are a smug bunch." "You love it." ❤️

"TK knows [abt his dysfunctional divorcee parents hooking up]." "Everybody [knows]." I love their healthily dysfunctional lil family dynamic

2x02: 2100°

I never noticed Owen kind of side hugged his son-in-law before he was his SIL at the cancer remission party

Is this back-to-back episodes of the first (on-screen) times TK and Carlos call each other babe (Carlos in 2.01 and TK here)? They "moved in" and became domestic immediately.

How did Carlos get away with that obvious (poor!) deflection about meeting his parents?

Also how did I kind of miss TK's kindof delection (embarrassment) from how happy he was and jumping to progress the relationship by bringing up Carlos' parents casually in conversation (and he was soo offended in 2x04 after a full season of avoiding a relationship <3)

"I get to rappel into that?" " 'Get to?' That's an interesting choice of words. " Marjan-TK friendship gets to shine!

At the pool scene, why did Nancy actually freeze???

Ok, she redeemed herself and performed the rescue act.

I didn't necessarily expect Tim to survive, being a recurring character and all, but that impact of the lava ball was shocking the first time I saw it...right before the cut to commercial.

Mateo says he was asked to report on what HE saw? (ig they could just ask everybody, but..) I wonder if he and Nancy will ever talk about/mention Tim's death in conversation. [I think they do when they connect later (to go to counseling???)]

It's actually crazy how little time Captain Vega was there before some insane disasters occurred.

Buster (Keaton), the cat, this is your introduction.

Marjan and Paul boxing together ❤️

You see the difference in how long they've been together by how Grudd and Tarlos have their comfort scenes and TK not really expecting for Carlos to be waiting on the stairs vs the assurance with Grace waiting in the bed already and simply reaching back to hold his hand. Both couples don't need to say anything. It's a big moment for tarlos, because they're a newer couple.

2x03: Hold the Line

kind of pleased that I just so happened to reach this episode when I reached the s4 episode of og on my binge-watch

Tell me why I don't remember Eddie being from Texas (idek)??

"I think that guy [Buck] is staring at you." (and Marjan's head whip); this was so funny

Buck, Mateo, & TK being the ones to end up on digging duty is the most fitting scenario of what you'd expect for each of them (& ofc Marjan and Paul get out of it by volunteering for the other job)

First time I saw this I wasn't watching 911 and wondered why this guy was even flirting w/Marjan

Why do I think the pep talk Judd gives to the "scrawny" boy about fighting back is meant to be significant to his own exp. (I don't remember it coming up later; could relate to his ptsd idk)? Edit: I wonder if it was him thinking abt his friend we find out abt in 2x09?

tarlos phone call even when Carlos isn't in the episode <3

"Dumbass and Dumbasser"

TK and Carlos SHOULD find themselves in LA & reference the gaydar now that Buck is confirmed bi

2x04: Friends with Benefits

They mention Owen's fear of clowns here, before we ever find out how deep it runs.

"I do like people to know you're mine." & the "maybe we should [come here more often]." (no reason for this I just love) ❤️

This is based on nothing substantial but will Carlos & TK move at the end of season 5??? [oh my god i was right!] prob not (just cuz he wasn't set on staying close to family and asked would he move. "If it was for the right person."

I love the awkward Carlos parents meeting so much. Poor TK. This is why I was waiting w/all the TK getting settled into the new relationship notices (he's so much more outwardly emotional about things than Carlos atp)

note: Marjan is 25. She mentions with her fiancé that they always planned to marry in 5 years when they're 30.

2x05: Difficult Conversations

"Guardian Angle" poor Mateo

Gwyn and Owen were such a mess, but they were a perfectly matched mess

Poor Grace (father cheating) / Grace and Judd are so healthy/respectful of one another (Grace reassuring Judd before he has to say anything, and him respecting when she doesn't want to talk about it)

2x06: Everyone and Their Brother

I feel like they've been pairing Marjan, Paul, and Mateo more as a trio this season and it's a fun combo of personalities. Then, they've been showing a lot of Judd-TK.

"What made you change your mind?" "I am going to be a father." Do not do this to me. 😭 Do not say this to him.

and TK deciding he wants to be a paramedic this episode, making his own path away frm his dad (a good arc, I like)

2x07: Displaced

Poor Nancy; it's not just that she's missing Tim, it's that she's missing her old team and how she, Michelle and Tim had their own work fam dynamic

(because this brought unexpected hilarity) the Magnetic Field MRI call >

Did they just randomly mention that Paul has ridden a motorcycle (got into an accident)?

2 times they just randomly have Ronen wearing an earring this episode, & I know it's more fitting for his character than Rafael's, but the fact we'll never get both on screen at the same time..

It hurt my heart how the baby wasn't Owen's, but it led to some good stuff next ep, so ready for that!

2x08: Bad Call

marks 1 year of TK's sobriety

Why have I never noticed JUST how cute Carlos' ecstatic clapping at the end of TK's speech is? (also long Grace-Carlos embrace in bg of Gwyn & Owen talking!)

"I trusted my instincts like you always taught me." "Ah, yeah, see, but the thing is, son, you gotta have the right instincts." i love this Carlos-centric ep

Carlos and his future father-in-law this ep ❤️ (he actually gave him more encouraging advice than Gabriel abt trusting his gut 😢/ (both words can be helpful) )

TK just straight up told Nancy about his parents baby out of the blue on the way to the call (ok, they're friends!)

2x09: Saving Grace

1995(12 yrs old)->2020: Judd is 37 as of

I know Judd wouldn't feel this way, but the accident was actually his friend's fault by pushing down on the pedal

the correlation of Judd feeling responsible for his friend's accident to feeling responsible while he waits for Grace to wake up

😭😍😭 is all I have left to say for this ep

99% expecting Grace to be in Graduate School for s5; we'll see

2x10: A Little Help from My Friends

the Tarlos move-in episode (well their new home doesn't last long)

TK: "Carlos is making his grandma's ropa vieja.." 🥲 I can't wait for our husband's era

I loved the Mateo-Owen roommate arc

It just occurred to me how technically the fireteam (minus captain) will be only Mateo, Marjan, & Paul without Judd and TK's long-standing paramedic title now. (because this szn we see the 3 of them bounce off of each other a lot more & that will be present in s5)

Carlos was put on the spot during that intervention and he still doesn't feel comfortable calling him "Owen" my bby😄

2x11: Slow Burn

This is the second storyline where Marjan's been put in a position to feel like she needs to step back from something, because of perception w/her online presence.

"...a easy mistake-" "that our son should've corrected" why did I never notice the REAL accusation in that line?! (i think it just feels like it because of Carlos' reaction afterwards; i could write a whole analysis on the Gabriel-Carlos miscommunication + their backstory 😢 s5 is gonna break me!!!)

2x12: The Big Heat

idc, I like Billy now (his deadpan is funny)

The consistency of Judd playing video games in scenes is 💯 (appreciate the continuation)

Again, Tommy went thru it her introductory season. Charles 😭

2x13: One Day

not much to add here; this episode is really sad for Tommy-

but man, I forgot how heartbreaking that opening scene is!

2x14: Dust to Dust

2 weeks since Charles' death

wait I can't remember what happened after Tommy saying she was retiring...

Aww Nancy "..how I wanna be as a paramedic, as a captain, and hopefully one day as mom"

..oh, that's right, Tommy realized she needed to go out in the dust storm & that helping is her calling (duh)

Mateo's a firefighter! (I totally forgot this (when, i mean))

oh that's right, I hate Billy again!

I think I'm gonna write very little for these since I've seen all of this before and then, I end up with long posts.

[jamisonwritestf2trash]

not to flood your inbox but... what if the mercs found a freaking cat on the battlefield or base.... i saw that video of soldiers playing with a lil kitten... i gotta know what the boys (and also miss pauling) would do.... would it be an immediate ceasefire so all 16 grown men can play with a kitten... would they use a merc's room to house it.... its ligerallyy a kittycat omg ....

What Would The TF2 Mercs (+ Miss Pauling) Do If They Saw A Kitten Mid-Fight?

————————————————————

Long title but cute idea!

Also never apologize for spamming my ask box, I love it, it helps distract me from the fact that I have no original ideas!

This is going to be a mix of on the battlefield and if they decide to keep the kitten!

Also rough because I only have a short blurb for the Blu team (sorry 😭)

————————————————————

Red Team (+ Miss Pauling)

————————————————————

Demo is the first one to see the kitten. I already headcanon that he has a cat he manages to hide from the other mercs, so he's ecstatic. Like eyes filled with joy, hopping up and down, and seeing kind of ecstatic. Immediately finds a way to get the others to stop fighting, if anyone dared to try and continue the fight he'd kill them immediately. Pets and comforts the poor cat because it's all scared :(

Engie is also very excited! He loves kittens, he would protect them with his life. He lays around and plays with the kitten once it's calmed down. Is already sketching out a cat tower and new room for the baby. Has made the executive decision that the Red team now has a team pet.

Heavy is right next to Engie, holding the kitten when Engie goes off to start sketching. Puts the cat on his lap and immediately almost starts sobbing when it curls up and starts trying to nap.

Medic comes over and I'm not going to lie this man is internally melting, it's adorable! But he's also slightly (insanely) worried because his birds always come first, and is always worried when anything threatens their safety. The other mercs eventually calm him down, swearing on their lives that his birds will be okay. He holds them to that, and eventually let's the other mercs keep it.

Scout is also a mix of super excited and sobbing "It's a fricken kitten! Look at it!" Definitely giving the kitten like a million kisses. Is acting so silly, and doesn't care. Booping it's little nose, slow blinking at it, showering it with love.

Sniper is indifferent at first until Scout steals his hat, turns it upside down, and drops the kitten in it. Then he has fucking heart eyes, a single tear running down his face from under his glasses. Turns away and just says fine to the idea of keeping it.

Spy is so against keeping the cat. It's going to be messy, it's going to be loud, and it's going to be expensive. No one else is going to take care of it. Classic dad does want a cat act. Guess who falls in love with the cat after one day?

Soldier is the most excited, hands down. Is so happy about the cat, it's so cute, it's so fluffy, it's just a baby! He's playing with the cat, giving it love, doing the most out of all of them. If the cat can't be found, you know he's with Soldier.

Pyro. Come on, of course, they're thrilled! Will let the cat crawl all around them, and also let it sleep on their gas mask. Just ugh, they're so cute together. Buys the cat little outfits and buys rainbow cat toys, dumps so much love, treats, and toys on this cat.

Ms. Pauling nearly tears down the door of the base after the match to come and see the cat. She is such a cat lady. She makes sure the cat is okay and even takes the cat to the vet to get all of it's vaccines and a microchip, ignoring Medic saying theirs no need, and claiming he can do it. Definitely began to visit the base more and more often, claiming she's only making sure they don't kill the poor thing.

————————————————————

Blu Team

———————————————————

I'll be honest, I don't think the Blu team would do well with having a cat. I headcanon these silly guys as dog people, they would probably be willing to give the cat over to the Red team for the benefit of the cat. They'd call off the match to keep it safe. All the mercs would sit and play, love, or cuddle with the cats with the Red mercs. Honestly, they enjoy the small break from fighting and just enjoy the time with a cat. Occasionally during a battle, they'll ask about the cat inbetween gunfire.

————————————————————

I was going to work on this yesterday and then I slept instead 😭

I was up until like one writing the anime one but it was worth it to get it out, this one took me a hot minute too, but I kind of love how it turned out, I love cats and love the idea of the Red team being big babies for a kitten. Also! I love adding Ms. Pauling to things, she's such a silly too.

[destinyc1020]

Confession Sunday: This is going to be very unpopular, but after SM4, I don't want Tom and Z to work with each other as love interests. Or again, if that means they can maintain privacy in their relationship. I hope Z has a smaller role in that film, and it's more on Tom's Peter and Black Cat, maybe. The backlash both of them got for TCR and Challengers because they became public is very deranged. They should be able to play characters with love interest without fear of public backlash because they are adults and professionals. Im kinda scared with Romeo and Juliet. I hope ppl are sensible and dont embarrass Tom cause it's not just him on stage. Francesca and the rest of the cast deserve their moment.

They are not the first couple to act but they the first famous couple of the younger generation that ppl are too invested in and honestly don't have the best energy towards their union depaite them being complete starbgers to us. I'm aware this is hypocritical as I am a fan of both and I'm on tumblr but I've been aware of both sides of the fandom on these blogs, solo fans of each other and I understand the frustration to want you fav to be independent of their relationship because it limits their artistry. They are actors first!!!!

Unpopular opinion, and I'm gonna get tomatoes, but looking back, SM NWH presstour was a blessing and a curse. It was a blessing for Tomdaya fans, but its a curse cause now when they do it again, the soundbites are gonna feel curated and tired. I started to see a problem when Tom kept mentioning it when he was promoting TCR because, let's be honest, he was ashamed of the results of the show. He used it as armour, and that's not fair case it was him that chose to do that show with poor execution. Using his family as pr is no better than Dom no shade. Even when Challengers was promoted and Tom was mentioned, it was cute as Tomdaya fans, but objectively, it's unheard of unless it's a podcast.

David Bowie and Iman are the best counterparts because they both were successful in their lane but were together. Iman was asked about David, but I was brief because she already had a business and foundation stand from. Both Tom and Z are in the middle of building that foundation.

I read on a blog how Riley from that Daisy amazon show filmed an intimate scene with her actor husband, and she said it was awkward because they were acting, and when they are together, it's real. I want them to have a life that we, as fans, don't know because overexposure is always bad in hindsight. Look at Jelenas. They can't get over the accessibility they had to that couple, and that's just sad.

I enjoyed the intimate scenes in Challengers and TCR because I was invested in the characters they were playing because they had respectful costars who i had little information about them other than acting, and it was great acting. I think it's even why I couldn't buy Paul and Chani in Dune 2 because I know Timothee and Zendaya are very good friends. Almost like siblings, like Timothee called her a sis!!!😭😭😭

I never have this issue when he's Taylor, Florence, or Saoirse because i know them through acting only, and I'm not invested in their lives cause its private as fck.

What are your thoughts???

Wow Anon.... you said a LOT with this ask/confession lol.

Thank you for your input and confession Anon.

Personally? I don't think there's anything wrong with Tom and Z working together even though they're in a relationship together. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Do you know how many actors have worked together in Hollywood and were in relationships with each other? Paul Newman and his wife Joanne Woodward, Elizabeth Taylor and her husband Richard Burton, JLo and Ben Affleck, Emily Blunt & John Krasinski, etc. Shoot, even Baz Luhrmann and his wife work together on films lol 😅 It's not exactly unheard of in Hollywood. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Re: The NWH press tour....

Hmm... I'm not sure why this is a concern exactly. 🤔 But I also don't feel like how TZ were during the press tour together was a bad thing either? 🤷🏾‍♀️ Even if they were to break up tomorrow, their press tour videos are endearing, sweet, and just a testament to a good friendship and casting for their Spiderman film imo.

While us shippers and Tomdaya fans may love the press tour for other reasons lol, I don't think that the general public has an issue with the press tours with TZ being together and in love etc. I think most think it's cute? 😅

Granted, I will say that if you do feel like you're having a very hard time separating an actor's character from their real-life persona, and it's hard for you to see them disappear in certain roles, then maybe it might a sign that you're following a celebrity a little too closely, and it may be a good idea to perhaps lessen the amount of time you spend tracking and following that celebrity/actor. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Re: Fans...

I def think that SOME fans get a little too invested with the lives of their faves, to the point where it can become a bit parasocial, but like I mentioned earlier, you can always take a bit of a break, and try not to be so obsessive.

Re: Public Backlash

While I def understand the concern regarding the gp and any backlash on TZ and their projects, the truth of the matter is, a lot of actors get bad reviews on their projects also, but it's not an automatic death. Many Actors have recovered from bad projects and have gone on to do wonderful films that had critical acclaim. ☺️

[g0rechan]

If Sybaritic were on ✨TvTropes✨

(Will add more)

Sybaritic

-Affectionate nickname: Subverted, since Gabin and Sisley don’t like each other. “Gabi” for Gabin by Sisley, “Sissy” for Sisley by Gabin- more cruelty, “Pissley” when they were younger.

-Age lift: Sisley was originally going to be 10 in the beginning. But has since then been made to be 10-12 in the first act.

-Aristocrats are evil

-Asshole victim: Some of Gabin’s and Philippe’s victims.

-Because you were nice to me: Philippe with Gabin, and Nicolette with Gabin and Philippe, respectively.

-Big, screwed up family: The Alaries. Paul is a groomer and an unloving husband/father, Anne is a mentally unbalanced child abuser, and their son is a depraved sociopathic rapist who grew up to be one of the biggest menaces in France, possibly in half of Europe.

-Bittersweet ending

-Black comedy rape: Gabin sure loves to joke about it in his works and irl.

-Crapsack world: Sybaritic essentially depicts an exaggerated and humorously grim depiction of the French Revolution, where characters are either victims or torturers (or both); bloodthirsty revolutionaries or selfish, greedy aristocrats.

-Cold Blooded torture: Poor Marie...

-Disproportionate retribution - no matter how annoying and stuck up Marie was, she did not deserve what happened to her.

-French jerk: 90% of the characters in this story.

-Fridge horror: It is unclear when Gabin contracted his venereal disease, but if hypothesized that it began in his teenage years, he would have unknowingly infected Sisley, Philippe, Nicolette, and numerous others in Paris.

This also implies that he spread the infection to several people throughout southwestern and Eastern Europe during his sexual escapades in his later adult years

Paul’s creepy comments towards his own daughter when she turns 12… Luckily, this happened a couple months before the reign of terror started, as they never saw each other after this.

-Gorn: some moments.

-Groin attack: It's what Philippe always wanted🔪🌭

-Historical domain character: Marie Antoinette, Louis XVI, Napoleon Bonaparte, Josephine Bonaparte, and Maximillian Robespierre all make appearances.

-Kids are cruel: Gabin and his friends when they were younger

-Madonna-Whore complex: Nicolette and Brigitte

-Moral event horizon: Gabin and Anne reach this, literally at the beginning of the story.

Philippe after he chose to not do anything about Sisley’s abuse, SA’d and killed his dog, and regularly took part in Gabin’s sadistic escapades

-No yay: Gabin x Philippe

-Pooping where you shouldn’t: a prostitute with fecal incontinence shits all over one of Gabin’s bed, much to Philippe’s delight.

-Rape as drama

-Vomit indiscretion shot: Get ready. There’s gonna be a good few in this story….

-Villain with good publicity: Gabin’s parents and Philippe’s parents

Gabin Alain Rosaire Alarie-Sade

-At least I admit it: When confronted by his mother about his pornographic sketches and writings. As a matter of fact, whenever he’s confronted or condemned by anyone for his beliefs and writings.

-Bad people abuse animals: Kicks Philippe's dog or street cats whenever they brush up against his leg.

-Beauty is bad

-Big brother bully: a rather dark example. Gabin has tormented Sisley ever since she was a toddler, from pushing a 3-year-old her into a patch of thorns or down the stairs when she was 5. His cruelty towards her became more depraved as time went on…

-Bratty half pint: as a child.

-Deliberately cute child: once again.

-Depraved bisexual

-Domestic abuse: on his sister, Philippe, and many of his past and present relationships

-Drunk on power

-Entitled bastard

-Evil desires innocence

-Evil feels good

-Extreme libido

-Fat bastard: in old age lmao

-Formerly fit: once again, in old age hehe

-Hair flip: He has his moments.

-Irrational hatred: For some inexplicable reasons, harbors a lot of animosity towards pregnant woman (even has a fetish for hurting them). It’s also implied that he hates Sisley for strange and petty reasons, or even no reason at all, particularly when they were younger.

-Jerkass

-Kick the dog: A lot of his victims were innocent people who didn’t do anything to him. Some of them were actually good people who tried to help him or did good things for him.

-Kick the son of a bitch: Some of his victims aren’t exactly good people either, ex: Philippe

-Lack of empathy

-Laughably evil

-Light is not good

- Loving bully: Towards Philippe

-Naked people are funny: Stripping in his cell to freak out the guards during the reign of terror 🤦🏻‍♀️

-Nobody touches the hair: Doesn’t take kindly to strangers ever so getting their hands near his hair.

-Pet the dog: He has his moments with Nicolette and Philippe

-Politically incorrect villain: Looks down on women and is quite misogynistic in his writings. He also implied once that the reason Philippe is unmarried and lives with him is because he is feeble-minded and cannot hold up a job or even count past 10.

-Really gets around

-Sadist: I mean, he's literally based off the guy whose name inspired the term.

-Screw the rules, I have money!

-Serial rapist

-Spoiled brat

-The bully: Specifically as a child.

-The hedonist

-Too kinky to torture

-Toxic friend influence: Played with in his relationship with Philippe.

-Villainous incest: Frequently rapes and molests Sisley. Has eyed up some of his cousins as well🤮

-Wasted beauty

-Would hit a girl

-Would hurt a child: Sisley and his child victims later on in the story…

Philippe Babineaux

-Ambiguously bi- He seems to be quite afraid and even repulsed by women, but he fantasizes about being sexually dominated by them and even engages in sexual acts with Nicolette and several female prostitutes.

-Bad people abuse animals: Philippe kills his dog, rapes and performs sexual acts on several animals throughout the story.

-Beauty is bad

-Bestiality is depraved: see above

-Beware the quiet ones: No ever suspected Philippe of ever doing terrible things due to his shy and quiet nature.

-Bishounen

-Bully magnet

-Butt monkey: At times.

-Extreme omnisexual: won’t hesitate to engage in sexual acts with animals, dead bodies, and inanimate objects. Once engaged in a threesome with Gabin and a tree.

-Fetishes are weird: see above.

-Freudian excuse

-Green eyed monster: Doesn't take kindly to an annoying girl who tries to flirt with Gabin...

-In touch with his feminine side: Enjoys donning on of the dresses of his and Gabin’s child victim

-Jerkass woobie

-Perpetual frowner

-Pretty boy

-Prone to tears

-Psychopathic manchild: in his final years.

-Spoiled brat

-The quiet one: Philippe rarely speaks unless spoken to.

-Took a level in Jerkass: Subverted. He was always a bad person and Gabin just gave him the push he wanted.

-Wasted beauty

Nicolette

-Adorable precocious child: Nicolette had been book smart from a young age, with a mischievous side that loved playing harmless pranks and knew how to get away with it.

-Book smart

-Bookworm

-Brainy Brunette

-Earn your happy ending

-Dark and troubled past

-Ditzy genius

-Plucky girl: Not noticeable at first, due to her depressive nature at the start.

-Nice girl

-Only sane by comparison: Compared to her two “friends”, Gabin and Philippe.

-Quirky curls

Sisley Elise Alarie

-Big eater: Has a big sweet tooth, much to her mother’s dismay.

-Dark and troubled past

-Hair of gold, heart of gold

-Happily married: to Enrico <3

-Innocent blue eyes

-Light is good

-Motor mouth: Sisley’s a chatty girl, which only gives her mother more reason to hurl abuse her way.

-Nice girl

-Rape as backstory

-Stepford smiler

-The cutie

-White sheep: The only good one in her family.

-Woobie

Paul Alarie/Marquis Alarie

-Covert pervert

-Faux affably evil

-Mean boss: is rude to the servants and regularly screams at them.

-Screw this, I’m outta here: practically saved himself from getting beheaded

-Slimeball: Beneath his charismatic and shrewd facade, Paul is a greedy, manipulative, and selfish creep. He is motivated solely by self-interest with no care for others, including his own family.

Anne Louise Sade

-Abusive parent

-Berkserker tears: Has them when arguing with Paul

-Chain of harm: was abused by her own mother growing up, only to do the same to her daughter years later.

-Mean boss: like her husband, she screams at and insults servants whenever they mess up.

-Pet the dog: is kind to her daughter at times, and promises to stop abusing her.

-Proper lady

Brigitte

-Deadpan snarker

-Ethical slut

-Loveable alpha bitch

Marquis Babineaux

-Abusive parent: is cruel to youngest son and regularly verbally abuses him. He enjoys humiliating and striking fear into Philippe as “punishment” for his strange behavior.

-Fat bastard

-Parental favoritism: his two eldest sons

-Slimeball

Madame Babineaux

-Abusive parent: She verbally abuses Philippe and never shows him any love or affection, while also doing the same to her two eldest sons.

-Female misogynist

-Gossipy hen: Talks shit about everyone, even people she’s on good terms with.

-Narcissist

-Shameless self-promoter

Enrico Guerrini

-Happily married: to Sisley <3

-Rags to riches: Not exactly rich, but his family is in a much better financial condition.

-Tall, dark, and handsome

Pierre

-Because you were nice to me: It’s implied that Pierre has no friends or loving parental figures present in his life and started a relationship with Gabin because of the latter reason.

-The stoic: He speaks in a monotonous voice, rarely showing any emotion, with his face almost always set in the same deadpan expression.

[freeuselandonorris]

15 questions 15 friends

i was tagged by i thinkkk @bright-and-burning and @481boxboxbaby absolutely ages ago, sorry it's taken me so long to get to this!

Are you named after anyone? no! my mum liked the name sophie because it means ‘wisdom’ in greek and she’d lived in greece for a while.

When was the last you cried? i had a little sob watching the ‘life and death of lily savage’ documentary on itv the other week because i am still so, so sad about paul o’grady dying, i adored him. as a kid, my favourite comedians (who i saw on tv) were julian clary and lily savage. half their jokes flew over my head but that dog was always in me!! anyway, as for real sobbing crying… i’m actually not sure? it was a while ago for sure. may it stay that way 🙏

Do you have kids? nope, and i won’t be having them. people used to tell me i’d change my mind once i got older and now i’m 35 and still have not experienced a single maternal twinge.

What sports do you play/have you played? i don’t play any kind of competitive sports and have avoided them for most of my life (i have extremely poor hand-eye coordination, hypermobile limbs and rubbish lungs. i’m not built for speed) but i do pole fitness and have done for about three years now, i’m not great at it (see above) but i loooove it and it’s gotten me way more hench than i was.

Do you use sarcasm? i used to use it constantly as a defence thing but less so these days. i do still use it though yeah.

What is the first thing you notice about people? sometimes i have this thing where the first second i meet someone i have this weird shine effect where i know they’re going to be a very important part of my life (good or bad). it’s only happened about three or four times but it’s always been right. on a more prosaic level: eyes, smile, body language.

What is your eye color? blue. it’s quite bright.

Scary movies or happy endings? scary movies!! love a good horror. i don’t like jumpscares or found footage/haunted doll whatever ones, but i love the nasty shit: video nasties, torture porn, french extreme, pinky horror, faux snuff, that kinda thing. i don’t want them so much these days but i was pretty obsessed for a while.

Any talents? i’m good at writing and drawing/painting, and i’m quite practical in the sense that i can fix things and build things, like i LOVE building flatpack furniture. i think my main ‘talent’ though is just that i can pick things up quickly. if i’m shown how to do something, generally i can do it pretty well quite quickly and i don’t need to be shown lots of times, and i’m good at being given a starting point and figuring things out from there. i think that’s the ‘talent’ i use most in life, certainly in work anyway.

Where were you born? north-west england.

What are your hobbies? writing! painting, drawing, reading, gaming, pole, strength training. i also have the classic ADHD thing of picking a new thing to be obsessed with for a month and spending a fortune on it three times a year.

Do you have any pets? no :( my mum has a lovely big useless fat cat called bandit though who i have shared custody of, she just can’t live at my flat.

How tall are you? 5’8’’ or 172cm

Favorite subject at school? art and english. i also quite liked what we called ‘tech’ which was like woodwork, metalwork, product design type stuff.

Dream job? i do not dream of labour. fr though i don’t really have one and never have, apart from maybe writer or artist but realistically i think i’d end up hating them if i had to rely on them to pay my bills. i thought about trying to get into motorsport jobs for a while but the hours look long, the pay is terrible, the atmosphere for femme people is…mixed, and i’d have to move halfway across the country. so yeah idk. universal basic income now!

not tagging anyone bc i'm so late to the party on this lol, but if you haven't been tagged and want to be, lmk and i'll tag you!