#patient edge

[ashykneecaps6]

One might never heal from a loss, but will learn to live with it.

[holdmymetaphor]

in like the second to last episode when taub was like why dont u respect wilsons wishes to die

house yells at him about how hard it has been to choose to live

and then we cut to other doctors and nurses and patients who hear him yelling this taboo thing, looking at him like hes weird and wrong and making a ruckus

ugh. houses reaction to it hurts me. its just such a clear reminder of how alone he feels/is.

[gaypastabake]

oogh.

I lied, I dont have chapter 3 even started yet, have a doodle dump as a peace offering.

[if-loki-was-a-fox]

Afjxkgdkg Jimmy is so patient in Double Life, I'm not even an angry or violent person but I would have punched at least five times as many people as he does

[good-beans]

this is so stupid but i always have fun imagining the milgram characters watching their own/others mvs and seeing their reactions, especially for MeMe

That’s not stupid at all, thank you so much for the ask!! It’s sooo interesting to think about! I planned on just posting this drabble, but the more I thought about it, the more I started jotting down headcanons for everyone 👀 Of course there’s the initial disbelief and shock that Milgram can really do what it claims, but once they accept that, they’d have a lot of interesting reactions…

Es gets to watch the video first, then the prisoners are free to watch their own in the privacy of the courtroom/extraction room/wherever. Other prisoners can watch them only with explicit permission from the video’s singer. No one is allowed to watch Undercover except for Es. At first they spend hours looking at those final frames of themself flinching from the camera, hoping to jog any sort of memories, but eventually they give up on it. While actually watching it, they don’t mind the murder silhouettes. While sleeping, however, it has triggered more than one nightmare.

Haruka: He thinks Weakness is very pretty – he’s amazed seeing himself on the screen and hearing his voice, knowing he’s not that good of a singer. Even before his innocent verdict, it gives him a huge surge of confidence. Once he gets to know the others better, he gives them mv permissions, then stares intently at their faces to see their reactions as they watch it. AKAA scares him a bit, seeing his own intense emotions on screen, and he only gives Muu permission to see it. When he’s alone, Haruka pauses the shots of his mother, just to stare for a while.

Yuno: Laughs at the symbolism her mind used in Umbilical. She’s never shied away from sexual words/thoughts, so it's funny the video was as tame as it was. She thinks the song is fun, and isn’t afraid to show the others and sing snippets of it around the prison. Some days it’s too emotional for her to get into it, but most of the time she tries to display a confident attitude about it. After Tear Drop, she’s satisfied with her anger and more overtly sexual images. If anything, she feels too exposed by the shots of herself looking more vulnerable/sad. 

Fuuta: He experiences a solid mix of embarrassment at the gaming theme in Bring it On and feeling a surge of pride that he looks badass in the knight’s armor. He’s worried the warden won’t take him seriously with the video game obsession, but he absolutely loves the song and thinks it portrays his toughness and ideals well. He’s less thrilled with Backdraft, everything about it unsettles and embarasses him. He’s thrown by the shot of crossing out his own silhouette – he’d had self-harming thoughts, but wasn’t quite ready to confront them so blatantly yet. Like Haruka, he can be caught pausing the arcade shot just for a moment before turning the whole thing off and storming away.

Muu: She has mixed emotions towards After Pain. She hates seeing herself look so weak and pathetic, but it gives her a lot of hope that her story will be understood. She misses her friends, and seeing them again is bittersweet. She closes her eyes at the moment of the stabbing – she’s only gotten the courage to watch it through her fingers once. She watches INMF once, then refuses to look at it again from shame/horror. Despite Haruka’s begging, she doesn’t let him watch it, either. 

Shidou: He asks Es what they saw in Throw Down. Upon finding out his family wasn’t in it, he chooses not to watch it. He believes he already knows all about his emotions and crime, so there’s no need to go through that pain again. He’s tempted to watch it when he’s confused about Es’ verdict, but still holds off. He does watch Triage when informed his family is in it. He spends hours in front of the screen by himself. Only after seeing that one does he watch Throw Down, though he’s still left confused about Es’ decisions.

Mahiru: Absolutely loves TIHTBILWY. She thinks it perfectly describes her situation, and that the song is very cute. She lets others watch it, and unlike Yuno, feels like singing it 24/7. It reminds her of her bf, and she thinks that’s very romantic. Similar to Shidou, she spends a lot of time watching I Love You just to look at her boyfriend. She shows it to everyone, just to show him off and talk about him, even if she does skip over the beginning and end each time.

Kazui: He is very similar to Shidou; he refuses to watch his videos until T2, assuming it would be too painful to watch something he already knows and wishes to avoid. Unlike Shidou, seeing Hinako is far too painful, and he regrets watching it and seeing her so happy on their wedding day. Though maybe he’s still waiting, and hasn’t seen any of the videos yet…

Amane: Magic makes her worry more than anything. She fears she’s poisoned by unnecessary vainness since so much of her video involves cute things, colors, outfits, animals, and is set up like a tv show. She’s also worried that Es and the others will really see her as a child because of how cute the whole thing is. She prevents herself from watching it too many times, but buried under all her fears, it gives her a surge of pride seeing herself so talented and pretty and the star of the show. Purge March only reaffirms her confidence in her crime – the video brings up some awful memories, but it shows her as a leader, a warrior, a hero! It brings her comfort and confidence more than anything.

Mikoto/John: The videos are distressing to both of them, and they spend all their time studying the others’ screentime. Mikoto watches in horror as John does things that line up with his spotty memories, and John panics seeing that his actions distress Mikoto more than they’ve reassured/saved him. John does end up watching his own scenes a few times – it feels incredibly good to appear in a way that Mikoto may finally notice him. He feels seen. Now, logically I think that MeMe would be the final tipping point in which Mikoto finally accepts the situation and his DID, but if I must stick to his canon denial, then I’d say he goes on a whole rant about movie magic andt the crazy things you can do with editing nowadays. He doesn’t have a good explanation on how Milgram found his home and knew so much about him, but he explains everything away as cgi or camera effects. Double manages to sway him a bit more, as he hears John speak so plainly to him. Just as the audience had some debate on who was apologizing at the end of Double, Mikoto and John wonder who is apologizing to whom. Though they both come to the conclusion it’s their own apology, they decide that if it was the others’, they’d accept it and forgive them.

Kotoko: She’s very pleased with Harrow, and is unashamed to show it to the others. Though she’d been able to watch a few of the previous prisoners’ videos, it still shakes her a bit when she realizes that Milgram really does have the tech to look deep inside her. She watches it just a few times – not obsessing over it, but not afraid either. Deep Cover, however, is a once-and-done sort of deal. She claims she’s not letting the others watch it because “they couldn’t handle such harsh but true criticisms about themselves,” but she doesn’t end up watching it anymore herself, either.

[boninhau2]

🎥 Making of Discothèque, 1997.

[the-raindeer-king]

Deer, I had such a specific thought about Ghost and I just HAD to share.

You know how gruff he is canonically then reading fics with him being soft with his partner, I really think both are so in character but it takes a lot of time for him to get there.

I think any relationship with him even just knowing him before a relationship would start rough. It would be Ghost at his most natural sharp and rough state because that's what he grew into to protect himself (from his history and current job occupation tbh)

But say he has someone he knows he cares for, that harshness takes on a new intensity with a very VERY firm stance on needing to keep that person close. Safe. It might even come off as too much or too intense and overbearing at first.

Tbh, what I think really helps Ghost grow softer with someone is that you have to give him a way to redirect that intensity because it's part of him. The gruff, rough, sharpness in him is him. But honestly I think he'd best understand if he was told to not 'build a home with you', but to make you a fortress.

This is a guy who is so intense in all that he does, the drive and the force is all there, so giving him a way to channel it into building metaphorical walls around him and you, protecting and being ready to bite at anyone who tries to come too close to that 'fortress' while he can let himself slowly grow softer over time inside where it's just him and you.

Ghost is a very weaponized individual. He has the sharpness but I really think any relationship with him he has to realize he can direct the sharpness outside of that relationship and be soft inside of it. He's harsh naturally he can't stop being that, but he can weaponize it to protect

It's 4 in the morning and I woke up with this and needed to share it so here

Your brain is so beautiful, anon. Imma give you a kiss on the forehead. This was such a good take on Simon. And you're so right. He needs somewhere to redirect his sharpness, so he can be all soft and sweet with his love. It'll take time, and there will be mishaps on the way, but all the best things in life are worth working hard for. And Simon's more the willing to put in the work, to make his love happy.

[cringecannon]

you wanna know what im a huge fan of? edging, intense edging with zero climax . whoever the hell you want

I think ascended Astarion fits best for this. Before he ascended, he was used to being used for pleasure. Now? Now he gets off on depriving you of it.

He’s tied you up, obviously. Can’t have you thinking you have any bit of control. Fine silks are tight around your wrists, holding them high over your head. Your ankles are similarly bound, but tied spread apart to the bed frame. Your thighs shake and your chest heaves as he brings you closer and closer to the edge. You lost count of how many times he’s denied you. His fingers, his mouth, his cock, none of it has brought you relief. You’re practically incoherent, delirious. Your skin is hot and everything hurts, so sensitive you think the slightest touch will drive you mad. You whimper and whine and he clicks his tongue, dark red eyes glancing over you. Hush. He already told you, begging won’t work. Not this time. He’ll take you right to the edge, again and again, until he bores of it. Maybe once more, maybe an hour, maybe never. Just lay back like a good pet and take it.

[radioroxx]

UTY ARTBOOK UTY ARTBOOK UTY ARTBOOK AHHHHHHH

[c2mcs]

more npesta, this one has been done for a bit but I was hesitating

[king-mera]

I managed. To write some dialogue today.

[prezs]

you ever cut off some people and suddenly feel yourself undergo three years of character development in the span of one month due to how much happier and generally more pleasant you feel

[surfinthehighway]

Typing up my The Fall of the House of Cabal thoughts before going to bed. First off: it's interesting to me to see that Leonie Barrow is snarky with all Cabals haha. Like, we see her interact a lot with Johannes in The Detective and it's understandable why she is short with him there, but my dude Horst is a more normal Cabal and Leonie is not above insulting him wherever she can.

I'm assuming it is because Horst is a Cabal and not that Leonie is like this with everyone.... but I don't know that for sure. She certainly doesn't act that way around strangers, but what does that say. Am I meant to be reading Leonie as spicy to everyone once they're friends? Things to consider.

[bluehairmisfit]

Not to make “tag vent sunday” a thing but Idk how I can go from having a great string of days where I feel happy and confident to just. Randomly fucking dropping. And feeling like the actual worst.

[crabussy]

I want to take a bite out of someone's arm but I'm too shy

[2dami2furious]

Margo’s comic book suit is sooo goateed like