#party panay

[meelusinee]

TO A NEW YEAR | M.R X READER

word count \ 2.3k | fluff and stuff | slash / mattheo riddle x reader

in which you and mattheo spend new years morning together author's note at the end!

TO A NEW YEAR | MATTHEO RIDDLE X READER

Lorenzo was setting up the drinks, Theo was decorating the different areas of the dormitory, different strings and bits of tinsel hanging around the place. Draco and Blaise had bought vodka, Firewhiskey and Butterbeer for the night, with Blaise bringing fruits and juices to make cocktails. 

And Mattheo was sitting in the Slytherin Common Room. Waiting.

He had asked you to spend time with him at the party, if you could. He knew that you were busy with whatever it was you planned on doing, though he wasn’t sure exactly what yet. You had research you wanted to get to, more for fun rather than for schoolwork. He also knew that it was raining though, which meant you’d probably get distracted. Mattheo wouldn’t have minded going with you into the rain, wearing a yellow poncho and dancing in the middle of the courtyard until the fireworks went off in the night sky.

Unfortunately, he owed Theo a favor. 

So, here he was, sulking in the Slytherin Common Room. At least he was hidden behind the couch, he thought, able to play off his sulking as nothing more than a bad dream after a nap. 

“Mattheo?” Theo called out, tinsel in his hand. “Are you even awake right now?”

Mattheo sighed softly as he sat up, rubbing his eyes. He did have a rather bad dream last night, and his head was pounding from his lack of sleep.

“Kind of,” he muttered, shaking his head. “Why?”

“You wanna help Enzo test drinks?” he asked, leaning against the side of the couch. “He said he needs a guinea pig to experiment on.”

Mattheo sighed, looking at the bar. It was better to drink than whatever he was dealing with right now, at least from a forgetting standpoint. So, he nodded, walking over to the bar silently and sittimg down at the end.

“Matt!” Enzo smiled proudly, two shots already in hand. “Vodka mixed with a Butterbeer and a Firewhiskey to start.”

Mattheo took the vodka Firewhiskey shot and chugged it, chugging the second right after. “Thanks, Enz.”

“Rough night?” he asked, voice more quiet as he made the second one.

“Yeah,” he muttered, nodding.”Rough.”

“Here, this one’s sweeter.” he said, handing Mattheo a larger glass of vodka and Butterbeer mixed with some fruit juice. Mattheo chugged it easily, used to the burn of vodka down his throat. 

“Thanks,” he whispered softly.

You arrived at the Slytherin Common Room before the party truly got into swing, not wanting to deal with crowds of groups preventing you from walking around. Your studies on magical beasts had been tiring but rewarding, and now you were ready for a break from it.

Panay had also dragged you away from your books before you could continue, but that’s besides the point.

So, you walked up to where the bar area was, a small smile on your face as you saw Lorenzo. “Hi there Lorenzo!” you chirped, Pansy right behind you as you spoke. “Do you have anything strawberry flavored?”

“Oh yeah, plenty!” he said, looking down at his menu. “Strawberry daiquiri, a strawberry cocktails and margaritas, strawberry rum,”

“You have alcohol?” you asked incredulously, looking at him with a stern expression. “Lorenzo, there’s kids in this house!”

“They’re not allowed in the party,” he reminded her.

“And what if they were smart and figured out how to sneak in?” you asked, eyebrows furrowed. “This is not a place that should be so easily accessible to them. You couldn’t at least do the Room of Requirements or something?” 

“Girl,” Pansy said, chuckling behind you. “It’s just a party! Let loose!”

You looked at her even more incredulously before sighing softly, looking down at the juice bottles he had. Your mouth felt dry like sandpaper, already feeling silenced. “Just a strawberry lemonade.”

Lorenzo’s eyebrows furrowed them, looking at you just as intensely as you looked at him. “No alcohol?”

“No thanks,” you mumbled quietly.

“Y/N, it’s a new year party!” Pansy said behind you, shaking your arm slightly. “C’mon, just one drink?”

“I said no.” you said more sternly, watching as Lorenzo made the drink to make sure he didn’t sneak anything in there. “Where’s Mattheo?”

“Theo dragged him to the bathroom just now, don’t know why.” Lorenzo shrugged simply, making Pansy a drink of her own along with one for himself. “He was testing my drinks.” 

“Kay,” you nodded, looking around before waving them goodbye. “See you guys.”

“You’re not gonna stay?” Pansy asked, a small pout on your face. But by the time you heard the question, you had already left to find Mattheo.

“Mattheo?” you called, turning around the corner to see if he was in the bathrooms like Lorenzo said.

Instead, you were greeted by Theo.

“Hey Y/N!” he said, smiling at you as he leaned against the wall. “What are you doing over here?”

“Lorenzo said Mattheo was here.” you mumbled.

Theo nodded, pointing to the door behind him. “Bathroom. Give him a moment though, he needs to freshen up. Whatever Lorenzo gave him really did a number.”

“Is he sick?” you asked, worry seeping through your voice.

“He’s a little under the weather.” Theo said, before shrugging simply. “But he’ll be fine. It’s nothing too big, so don’t worry.”

“I’m going to worry if my boyfriend is sick.” you deadpanned, frowning at him.

Theo chuckled softly. “I know you are. But you don’t need to.”

“I want to.” you said, walking past him and knocking on the door. As much as you wanted to go in, you wouldn’t invade his privacy.

“You know I’m not trying to be mean, right?” Theo asked, his voice calmer as he switched how he leaned against the wall. “I just don’t want you to worry. Lord knows Mattheo would kill me if I worried you more.”

You looked at him before sighing. “I know.”

“Did something happen out there?” Theo asked.

You debated telling Theo. He seemed like a good guy, all things aside. But he probably sided with them on the alcohol issue. Maybe even Mattheo would as well. “Not really. Just tired.”

Theo was about to say something more when Mattheo opened the door, his signature smirk present on his face. “Y/N!”

“Hi, Matty.” you smiled quietly, hugging him gently.

“Oh, this is the best Christmas present.” he smiled brightly, peppering your face with kisses. “I can’t believe I was blessed with this.”

You chuckled softly, giggling as his lips found anywhere on your face they could land on.

“Okay Mattheo,” Theo said, patting him on the back. You could tell there was something calculating in his gaze, though you weren’t sure what. “By the way, I left your gift upstairs.”

“You did?” he said, smiling even brighter as he kissed you a final time. “I’ll go get it.”

Theo smiled before turning to you as soon as Mattheo left, his face dropping to a more serious expression. “He had a nightmare last night. I don’t think that him being at the party would be a very good idea.”

“I could convince him to stay in his dorm?” you mumbled quietly.

“I’d really appreciate that.” he said, smiling at you. “If you don’t mind, of course.”

You shrugged. “I didn’t really want to be at this party anyways.” 

Theo chuckled a bit louder at that, patting you on the head before walking off to finish decorating. You smiled softly before walking off to Mattheo, glad that at least one of his friends seemed to care.

“Mattheo?” you called out gently, knocking on his dormitory door.

Mattheo opened the door then, smiling softly. He had recently been upgraded to get his own private room, mainly due to his money. “Hey, love.”

“Hi,” you smiled softly. “Can I come in?”

“Of course you can,” he smiled softly, opening the door and letting you in.

You waddled closer to his bed, laying down on it and cuddling up in his bed. It was always extremely comfortable, way more than yours ever was. You had doubts on whether it was charmed to be more comfortable than it really was.

“Don’t get too comfortable,” he chuckled quietly. “You have to get up for the party, remember?”

You looked at him with a small pout, not wanting to go back to the party one single bit. “I really don’t want to go to the party.”

“No?” Mattheo asked, looking at you.

“I don’t like Enzo and Pansy right now,” you mumbled quietly, mostly to yourself.

“Why not?” he asked, furrowing his eyebrows as he moved to sit down next to you. “Did something happen between you three?”

“Earlier,” you muttered quietly. “About the drinks, at the party. I said that it wasn’t safe for them to be there, especially if kids snuck into the party. Enzo was trying to say that he would be fine with kids drinking alcohol, I guess. I don’t really remember his deal with it.”

“What does that have to do with Pansy?” he asked quietly. running his hands through your hair as you explained what happened.

“Pansy tried to force me into drinking,” you mumbled quietly, huffing. “Don’t like them.”

“I don’t like them either right now,” he said, his face visibly darkening as he heard that. He didn’t like it when people pressured drinks onto him, much less his girlfriend.

“Can we just cuddle?” you asked quietly. You looked so innocent asking, it melted his heart into two in less than a second.

“Of course we can.” he smiled softly.

You and Mattheo had snuggled up into his bed about two hours ago, both of you having fallen asleep a couple minutes after you laid down. The bed was warm, and you didn’t want to leave even if it was closing in on the new year. 

“Are you awake?” Mattheo asked you quietly, voice soft and gentle as he spoke to you.

“Unfortunately.” you mumbled, cuddling him closer.

He chuckled softly at that, kissing the top of your forehead and rubbing your back. “I love napping with you.” he whispered softly, tilting your chin up.

“Really?” you smiled softly, nibbling softly on his nose. 

“Yes, really.” he smiled. His nose scrunched up playfully as you bit it, a smile growing on his face. You smiled softly as he smiled at you, nuzzling your noses together.

“I have a gift for you.” he said, smiling softly at you.

Your eyes lit up at that, sitting up a bit straighter. “Really?”

He smiled softly, sitting up with you and smiling. His hands reached for his drawer, sifting through it to find whatever he was looking for. “Coure I did. It’s the new year, you deserve something good.”

“I have you, I think that’s enough.” you giggled.

He smiled at that, his eyes crinkling and eyes glossy as he looked at you. You pulled him in for a gentle kiss. He still wasn’t used to your affection much, even after over a year of dating.

Even still, he soaked it in like sunlight.

“I still want to give it to you.” he whispered softly, handing you a small box. It was wrapped in newspaper and tied with regular twine, which you thought was rather cute.

“For me?” you asked him happily.

“For you.” he smiled gently.

You opened it to find a couple of things. The first was a book you had been wanting for a while. There was a small book on creatures in there as well, no doubt for your research.

There were a couple of poems, written in ways that made tears fall down your cheeks. A small stuffed animal was sitting on the bottom along with a small letter, one that you opened with a small smile.

My love, I have loved you ever since the moment I saw you. I’m surprised Theo never told you about how many times I stayed up writing about a girl I had never even met yet, how many days I spent imagining you with me when I didn’t even know your name. I want to spend my days and nights with you. I want to go to war for you, anywhere from hell and back that would make you happy. On days that you are and days that you aren’t, no matter how hard things get. I’ll love you, my darling, as I promised you and myself the moment that my eyes found yours in the courtyard.

Will you stay with me forever?

You looked down at the box and gasped gently, noticing as he pulled out a small box. It was green with silver engravings, most likely for his house colors. Inside was a thin band, your favorite gemstone laying in the middle of it.

“Will you marry me?” he asked quietly. There were small tears in his eyes, as were yours.

You sniffled softly, not sure if you could even get the words out. How could you? This was the most romantic thing you had ever done with him, and you felt that milestone could never be topped every single day of your life.

“I,” you mumbled, sniffling softly. “Yes! Merlin, yes!”

He smiled brightly, sniffling softly himself as he put the ring on your finger. It fit perfectly, just as you expected it to. “I love you.”

You smiled softly, pulling him in for a kiss. You poured everything inside it, hoping that it would give him some semblance of how you felt.

Then came the fireworks, one after another. They lit up his face and eyes like the prettiest constellation you had ever seen. There was cheering and lights, fires in the sky you didn’t know how to process just yet. All you knew was that you were happy, happier than you had ever been.

“I love you too.” you smiled.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

THANKS TO ALL OF YOU FOR SUPPORTING THIS LTTLE SERIES!! if you have any requests for it, let me know in either the comments or my suggestions box :D i shall be posting semi regularly i'm assuming? i'm planning once or twice a week.

AS ALWAYS - please like, comment, and reblog! have a happy new year everyone!

[thots4hee]

thoughts about atenista conyo party boy hee and thomasian conservative reader na everytime nakikita ang e/o sa pop up or xylo. tas nagmomol na sa gedli (sana mapansin deprive na aq sa tagalog smut eh /hj)

GAGO TANGINA DJEKDJWKDJDJXBD

pairing: hee x reader 🔞🔞🔞🔞

warning:Dom Hee! Sub reader! bj, public sex if you squint, KABASTUSAN

Heeseung is everyone's dream. Isang sikat na Atenean. Pogi, matalino, mayaman, at reserved na tao. Kasali siya sa pitong sikat na magkakaibigan sa university. Kung saan gagawin lahat ng fan girls nila ang lahat mapansin lang nila, lalong lalo na ni Heeseung na walang pakialam sa kasikatan at sa mga lalake at babaeng nagkukumahog magpapansin sakanya.

Pagpatak ng Biyernes ay dito na nagsisimula ang kasiyahan ng pito. Maliban sa pagtambay sa court, tambay rin si Heeseung sa parties at clubs.

Heeseung chuckled and shut his phone. Aminin man niya o hindi totoo ang sinabi ni Jay.

He's been eyeing a girl from the club. Halos buong gabi siya hindi mapakali kakalinga at hanap and finally he found her. For Seung, she's sexy, alluring, napakaganda, nakakaulol. The way she laugh with her friends wearing a tight black dress that hugs her curves. The way she dances and enjoys the music that night hits different with him. Napakahinhin... sure marami na siyang nakitang mga babae sa clubs at parties. Pero lahat sila parepareho lang. Hindi maintindihan ni Heeseung ang nararamdaman basta at mahalaga makuha ka niya. And he did.

Sa condo niya, nakatuwad at inuungol ang pangalan niya.

"Napakahinhin mo sa labas, hindi nila alam puta lang kita." Hindi na kayo nakaabot ng kama at napunit na ni Heeseung ang suot mong dress na pinilit pasuot sayo ng kaibigan mo. Palagi kang tumatanggi sa mga parties na aya niya pero palagi ka rin nitong napapapayag.

Hindi mo rin alam kung anong pinainom sayo ng lalaking katalik mo at napapayag ka niya sa mga gusto niyang pagawa saiyo. Halikan sa madilim na parte ng clubs, blowjob sa comfort room ng parties, at kantutan sa parking lot. Wala ng pakialam kung yumuyugyog nang matindi ang sasakyan o may makakita man sainyo dahil hindi gaanong tinted ang sasakyan ng binata.

Hindi ka nagrereklamo dahil ginusto mo rin ito. Natatakot ka lang sa iisipin ng ibang tao dahil kilala ka bilang conservative na babae.

"Hee, t-tangina naman! please po" ungol mo nang sinagad niya ang pag ulos sa loob ng mainit mong puke. Wala na ring saplot si Heeseung maliban sa itim nitong t-shirt na sobrang bango.

"Napaka landi mong umungol, alam ba to ng mga kaibigan mo?" natawa si Heeseung ng maramdaman ang panginginig ng binti mo kaya lalo niyang binilisan ang pagkadyot sa puke mong naglalawa at namumula mula na.

Mahigpit ang pagkakahawak ni Heeseung sa magkabila mong bewang na tiyak na magkakaroon ng pasa kinabukasan.

Ramdam na ramdam mo si Heeseung sa loob ng puke mo at lalong nakadagdag sa sarap ng sensayon ang paglamas niya sa naglalakihan mong suso na paborito niyang kagatin at iwanan ng marka. Lalo nga itong lumaki dahil panay lamas niya nito.

"y/n malapit na ko, luhod na bilis" sabay hugot ni Heeseung ng kanyang titi sa loob mo at pwersahan kang tinapat sa namamasa niya titi at pinasok ito sa bibig mong nakaabang na. Heeseung released his load into your mouth.

Napakababoy ngunit napakasarap maging puta niya, inumin ang tamod niya at maging alipin niya sa kama. Nasisiraan ka man ng bait dahil sa libog pero yoon ang totoo. Iba ang mundo mo kapag kasama mo si Heeseung, at gusto mo kapiling mo nalang siya palagi.

"Tanginang bibig yan sarap kantutin, gusto mo yon y/n? kantutin ko bibig mo?" hingal ng lalaki at napatango ka nalang.

===============================

This is really short tangina. Tanginang writer's block to taon ata bago ako makaahon. Will probably write a part two.

or send me ideas and prompts sa ask! hehe

[whooolaanmo]

wala pala pake sa 2NE1 ko, eh kung wag kaya kita samahan haha sa buong araw ng bakasyon mo dito sa Pinas 🤣🤣🤣.

Nagusap nanaman kaming mag Ex di din naman sya mapakali excited din naman sya pag uwi, parang ma iisstress nga ako pero in a good way hahaha yung stress na haggard kasi panay gala ang ganap tas mag bbday ako Nov andito sya jusko party party.

Sept. 06, 2024 07:55 pm

[kimhortons]

saturday — nov 25.

not the usual weekend cos bed coma tayo for today's vidyow. ang no, i'm not sick. sarap lang talaga mahilata buong maghapon today because of the weather here. akala ko nga 10 am pala, pasado alas tres na pala ng hapon. ang aga ko parin nagigising kahit weekend, tanghaling gising ko na ang 7:30 am haha.

di ako umalis today kasi kailangan ko mag tipid tipid muna. December na next next week, para naman medyo may budget pag uwi ng Manila. tsaka dami ko pa pending na gastos for our coming year end party.

kinontrata ko narin agad mga pinsan ko para may ganap naman kami ulit next month. medyo hindi nga lang nagkakatugma mga sched namin haha. di ko tuloy sure kung saan ako mag cecelebrate ng New Year. parang ayaw ko kasi sa bahay kasi parang ang lungkot, wala na yung tradition kasi nga wala na si mommy. medyo anxious din kasi ako mag celebrate with my father's side kasi baka pag wala ako kung ano anong nasasabi—knowing them.

medyo nag aalangan nga din akong mag stay dun for the entire two weeks kasi i don't feel welcomed anymore. hehe. pero bahala na si batman, for that entire weeks naman e for sure panay gala ako with friends. haha.

tsaka kung nalulungkot ako dati tuwing pasko dahil hindi na tulad ng dati, mas nakakalungkot ngayon kasi magkakalayo na talaga kami, nadagdagan yung mga umalis at nag abroad, parang pare pareho kami na first time malayo sa pamilya tapos tuloy tuloy na 'to hanggang sa talagang mag tandaan nalang kami.

may part parin talaga sakin na naka hold on sa childhood ko at kung saan ako lumaki, kaya siguro hindi rin ako ganon na completely happy kung nasaan man ako ngayon. lagi kong nacocompare yung mga taong malapit saken kung saan ako nang galing sa mga taong nakakasalamuha ko ngayon.

nakakalungkot, pero mas tahimik. kaya okay na rin.

[daphenominchief]

SALIENT POINTS ON 2019 REVISED RULES OF CIVIL PROCEDURE AND THE 2019 REVISED RULES ON EVIDENCE

General Principles and Objectives

Rules of procedure are essential for connecting substantive law with judicial administration, ensuring court issuances and processes are valid, accurate, orderly, timely, and intelligible.

The Supreme Court of the Philippines aims to improve procedural laws to provide effective service to the public.

The 2019 Revised Rules of Civil Procedure and the 2019 Revised Rules on Evidence reflect knowledge acquired from various jurisdictions and stakeholders.

Court Structure and Jurisdiction

Judicial power is vested in the Supreme Court and lower courts established by law.

The Supreme Court's interpretations of the Constitution and laws are final.

Actions from Courts of First Instance in Luzon, Mindoro, Marinduque, and Paragua are heard in Manila; those from Romblon, Panay, Masbate, Negros, the Sulu Archipelago, and the south half of Mindanao are heard in Iloilo; and those from Cebu, Bohol, Samar, Leyte, and the north half of Mindanao are heard in Cebu.

Original actions in the Supreme Court are filed in Manila but may be heard in Iloilo or Cebu, if the court orders.

Regional Trial Courts have jurisdiction over actions involving title to or possession of real property, or any interest therein, where the assessed value exceeds 20,000 pesos (or 50,000 pesos in Metro Manila). They also have jurisdiction over cases where the demand exceeds 100,000 pesos, or 200,000 pesos in Metro Manila.

Justices of the peace and municipal court judges have exclusive jurisdiction over civil actions where the demand does not exceed 10,000 pesos.

The Supreme Court may designate branches of Metropolitan and Municipal Trial Courts to exclusively try certain cases, like forcible entry and unlawful detainer.

In the absence of all Regional Trial Judges in a province or city, a Metropolitan, Municipal, or Municipal Circuit Trial Judge may hear petitions for habeas corpus or bail applications.

Pleadings and Motions

A pleading should contain a caption, body, relief sought, and date.

The body of the pleading should be divided into numbered paragraphs.

A pleading must be signed by the party or counsel, with their address.

The signature of counsel certifies the pleading is supported by good ground and not for delay.

Pleadings must state the names of witnesses, a summary of their testimonies, and supporting evidence.

Material allegations in a pleading are deemed admitted if not specifically denied.

Affirmative defenses must be raised in the answer or they are waived.

The court must resolve affirmative defenses within a specified period.

A motion is an application for relief other than by a pleading.

Non-litigious motions are resolved by the court within five days of receipt, and do not require a hearing.

Litigious motions require an opposition within five days and are resolved within fifteen days of receipt of the opposition.

Motions for extension to file an answer, for postponement, and for the issuance of a writ of execution are considered non-litigious motions.

Motions for a bill of particulars, to dismiss, for a new trial, for reconsideration, for summary judgment, and for judgment on the pleadings are considered litigious motions.

Certain motions are prohibited, including motions to dismiss except on specific grounds.

Pre-Trial and Judgment

Pre-trial is mandatory and aims to simplify issues, obtain stipulations, and set trial dates.

A pre-trial brief must be filed, which includes a concise statement of the case, a summary of facts, issues, and lists of witnesses and evidence.

If there are no more controverted facts, the court may motu proprio submit the case for summary judgment or judgment on the pleadings.

Judgment on the pleadings is rendered when an answer fails to tender an issue or admits material allegations.

Summary judgment is rendered when there is no genuine issue of material fact.

Judgments must be rendered within 90 days of the termination of the pre-trial.

Discovery

Parties may take depositions, which can be used in court.

Objections to the admissibility of depositions may be made at trial.

A party does not make a person their witness by taking their deposition.

Written interrogatories may be used to gather information.

Requests for admission can be used to establish facts.

Refusal to comply with discovery orders may lead to various sanctions, including the establishment of facts, prohibition of evidence, striking of pleadings, or default judgment.

Provisional Remedies

Preliminary attachment allows for the seizure of property to satisfy a judgment.

Replevin allows for the recovery of personal property.

A writ of possession can be issued to enforce a judgment for the delivery of real property.

Special Civil Actions

Interpleader is used when conflicting claims exist over the same subject matter.

Certiorari is used to review acts or omissions of a court or quasi-judicial agency.

Quo warranto is used to determine the right to a public office or position.

Expropriation is the process of taking private property for public use.

Partition is used to divide real estate among co-owners.

Forcible entry and detainer actions are governed by summary procedure.

Appeals

Appeals to the Supreme Court are generally taken by a petition for review on certiorari, except in criminal cases with death, reclusion perpetua, or life imprisonment.

The Regional Trial Court loses jurisdiction over a case after the appeal is perfected.

The Court of Appeals may conduct a preliminary conference to simplify issues and explore settlement.

The appellate court can affirm, reverse, or modify the appealed judgment.

Other Points

Clerks and other court officials are granted leaves of absence by the judge.

Judges may be paid transportation and a portion of their salary during travel.

Fees, fines, and costs collected by justices of the peace must be paid into the municipal treasury.

Monies paid into court are received by the clerk of court and paid into the National Treasury, with 20% of fees set aside for compensation of attorneys de oficio.

Judges may receive longevity pay based on their years of service.

The court can order a party to pay the expenses incurred by the other party if the party refuses to admit a document's genuineness or the truth of a fact and is later proven to be true.

There are specific rules regarding the manner of offering exhibits and stipulations of facts.

An order denying a demurrer to evidence is not subject to appeal or special civil action before judgment.

[cedricksworld]

Geyluv by honorio Bartolome de Dios

Yun lang at hindi na siya nagsalita pang muli. Pigil-pigil ng umid niyang dila ang reaksyon ko sa kanyang sinabi.

I love you, Mike. Nagpaulit-ulit ang mga kataga sa aking diwa. Walang pagkukunwari, ngunit dama ang pait sa bawat salita. Natunaw na ang yelo sa baso ng serbesa, lumamig na ang sisig, namaalam na ang singer, pero wala pa ring umiimik sa aming dalawa.

Mag-aalas-tres na, uwi na tayo.

Miss, bill namin.

Hanggang sa marating namin ang apartment n’ya. Wala pa ring imikan. Kaya ako na ang nauna.

Tuloy ba ang lakad natin bukas sa Baguio, Benjie?

Oo, alas-kwatro ng hapon, sa Dagupan Terminal. Good night. Ingat ka.

Are you okay, Benjie?

Wala ni imik.

Are you sure you don’t want me to stay tonight?

Don’t worry, Mike. Okey lang ako.

Okey. Good night. I’ll call you up later.

Usaman nanamin iyon kapag naghihiwalay sa daan. Kung sino man ang huling umuwi, kailangang tumawag pagdating para matiyak na safe itong nakarating sa bahay.

That was two years ago. Pero mga ateeee, bumigay na naman ako sa hiyaw ng aking puso. Di na ako nakapagsalita pagkatapos kong banggitin sa kanyang “I love you, Mike.” At ang balak ko talaga, habang panahon ko na siyang di kausapin, after that trying-hard-to-be-romantic evening. Diyos ko, ano ba naman ang aasahan ko kay Mike ano?

Noong una kaming magkita sa media party, di ko naman siya pinansin. Oo, guwapo si Mike at macho ang puwit, pero di ko talaga siya type. Kalabit nga ng kalabit sa akin itong si Joana. Kung napansin ko raw ang guwapong nakatayo doon sa isang sulok. Magpakilala raw kami. Magpatulong daw kami sa media projection ng aming mga services. I-invite raw namin sa office. Panay ang projection ng luka-luka. Pagtaasan ko nga ng kilay ang hitad! Sabi ko sa kanya, wala akong panahon at kung gusto niyang maglandi nung gabing iyon, siya na lang. Talaga naman pong makaraan ang tatlong masalimuot na love-hate relationship na tinalo pa yata ang love story nina Janice de Belen at Nora Aunor, sinarhan ko na ang puso ko sa mga lalaki. Sa mga babae? Matagal nang nakasara. May kandado pa!

Aba, at mas guwapo pala sa malapitan ang Mike na ito. At ang boses! Natulig talaga nang husto ang nagbibingi-bingihan kong puso. And after that meeting, one week agad kaming magkasama sa Zambales. Of course, siya ang nagprisinta. di ako. At noon na nagsimula ang problema ko.

Imbyerna na ako noon kay Joana, noong magpunta kami sa Zambales para sa interview nitong si Mike. Aba, pumapel nang pumapel ang bruha. Daig pa ang “Probe Team” sa pagtatanong ng kung anu-ano rito kay Mike. At ang Mike naman, napaka-accomodating, sagot nang sagot. Pagdating naman sa Pampanga, bigla nga akong nag-ayang tumigil para mag-soft drink. Kailangan ko na kasing manigarilyo nang mga oras na iyon. Tense na ako.

Gasgas na sa akin ang puna ng mga amiga kong baklita na ilusyon ko lang ang paghahanap ng meaningful relationship. Sabi ko naman, tumanda man akong isang ilusyunadang bakla, maghihintay pa rin ako sa pagdating ng isang meaningful relationship sa aking buhay. Naniniwala yata akong pinagpala din ng Diyos ang mga bakla!

Mataray itong si Benjie, mataray na bakla, ‘ika nga. Pero mabait. Habang lumalalim ang aming pagiging magkakilala, lalo ko namang naiintindihan kung bakit siya mataray.

Well, if you don’t respect me as a person dahil bakla ako, mag-isa ka. I don’t care. ‘Yun ang usual defense niya ‘pag may nanlalait sa kanyang macho.

I’ve been betrayed before, and I won’t let anybody else do the same thing to me, again. Ever!

Ang taray, ano po? Pero hanggang ganyan lang naman ang taray nitong si Benjie. Para bang babala niya sa sarili. Lalo na pag nai-involve siya sa isang lalaki. Natatakot na kasi siyang magamit, ang gamiting ng ibang tao ang kanyang kabaklaan para sa sarili nilang kapakanan. May negative reactions agad siya ‘pag nagiging malapit at sweet sa kanya ang mga lalaki.

At halata ang galit niya sa mga taong nate-take advantage sa mga taong vulnerable. Tulad noong nakikinig siya sa interview ko sa namamahala ng evacuation center sa isang eskuwelahan sa Zambales. Naikuwento kasi nito ang tungkol sa asawa ng isang government official na ayaw sumunod sa regulasyong ng center sa pamamahagi ng relief good upang maiwasan ang gulo sa pagitan ng mga “kulot” at “unat na pawang mga biktima ng pagsabog ng Pinatubo. Simple lang naman ang regulasyon: kailangang maayos ang pila ng mga kinatawan ng bawat pamilya upang kumuha ng relief goods. Ang gusto naman daw mangyari ng babaeng iyon, tatayo siya sa stage ng eskuwelahan at mula doon ay ipamamahagi niya ang mga relief goods, kung kanino man niya maiabot. Alam na raw ng mga namamahala ng center ang gustong mangyari ng babae: ang makunan siya ng litrato at video habang kunwa’y pinagkakaguluhan ng mga biktima—unat man o kulot. Nasunod ang gusto nung babae, ngunit ang mga unat lamang ang nagkagulo sa kanyang dalang relief goods. Ayon sa namamahala ng center, nasanay na raw kasi ang mga kulot sa organisadong pagkuha ng mga relief goods. Pero nagreklamo rin sila nung bandang huli kung bakit hindi sila nakatanggap ng tulong. Iiling-iling na kinuha ni Benjie ang pangalan ng babaeng iyon.

Hindi.

Irereport mo?

Hindi.

Susulatan mo?

Ano’ng gagawin mo?

Ipakukulam ko. Ang putang inang iyon. Anong akala niya sa sarili niya, Diyos? Isula mo iyon, ha. Para malaman ng lahat na hindi lahat ng nagbibigay ng tulong ay nais talagang tumulong.

Takot din siyang makipagrelasyon. At ‘di rin siya nanlalalaki, ‘yun bang namimik-ap kung saan-saan. Bukod sa takot itong si Benjie na magkaroon ng sakit at mabugbog, di rin niya gustong arrangement ang money for love. Gusto niya, ture love at meaningful relationship.

‘Yun din naman ang hanap ko. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m straight, okay?

Si Carmi ang pinakahuling naging syota ko. Sabi nila maganda. Sabagay, maganda naman talaga itong si carmi. Sexy pa. Ewan ko nga lang dito kay Carmi kung bakit laging nagseselos sa akin. Hanggang ngayon, di pa rin niya maintindihan ang nature ng trabaho ko, e dalawang taon na kaming magsyota. Kung mag-demand sa akin, para bang gugunawin ng Diyos ang mundo kinabukasan. E, para sa’kin, di rin ito ang ibig sabihin ng meaningful relationship. Ayoko nang binabantayan ang lahat ng kilos ko. Ayoko ng laging ini-interrogate. Ayaw ko ng pinamimili ako between my career at babae. Para sa akin, pareho itong bahagi ng future ko.

Last year, inisplitan ako ni Carmi. Di na raw niya ma-take. Gusto raw muna niyang mag-isip-isip tungkol sa aming relasyon. Gusto raw niyang magkaanak sa akon, pero di niya tiyak kung gusto niya akong pakasalan. Naguluhan din ako. Parang gusto kong ayaw ko. Mahal ko si Carmi, and I’m sure of that. Pero kung tungkol sa pagpapakasal, out of the question ang usaping ‘yun. Una, di kayang buhayin ng sweldo ko an gpagbuo ng isang pamilya. Pangalawa, di ko alam kung an gpagpapakasal nga ay solusyon para matigil na ang pagdedemand sa akin ni Carmi. At pangatlo, di rin sigurado itong si Carmi sa gusto niyang gawin. Pumayag ako.

Almost one year din akong walang syota. Isinubsob ko ang sarili sa trabaho. Pero, from time to time, nagkikita kami ni Carmi para magkumustahan. Well, every time na nagkikita kami ni Carmi para magkumustahan, bigla ko siyang mamimi-miss, kung kailan kaharap ko na. Siguro’y dala ng lungkot o ng libog. Kung anumang dahilan ng magka-miss ko sa kanya ay di ko tiyak. Pinipigilan ko na lang ang sariling ipadama sa kanya ang nararamdaman ko, dahil sa tingin ko’y mas naging masaya siya mula nang isplitan niya ako. Nakakahiya naman yatang ako pa ang unang umamin na gusto ko ulit siyang balikan, e siya itong nakipag-break sa akin.

Naipakilala ko si Camrmi kay Benjie sa mga dates na iyon. At naikuwento ko na rin noon kay Benjie ang tungkol sa nakaraan namin ni Carmi.

Carmi, this is Benjie. Benjie, this is Carmi.

Hi.

Hello.

.

Daaay. Maganda ang Carmi. Mas maganda at mas sexy kaysa kay Carmi Martin. Pinaghalong Nanette Medved at Dawn Zulueta ang beauty ng bruha. Ano? At bakit naman ako mai-insecure, ‘no? May sariling ganda yata itong ditse mo. At isa pa, wa ko feel makipag-compete sa babae. Alam ko namang may naibibigay ang babae sa lalaki na di ko kaya. Pero manay. Mayroon din akong kayang ibigay sa lalaki na di kayang ibigan ng babae. Kaya patas lang.. kung may labanan mang magaganap. Pero maganda talaga ang bruha. Bagay na bagay sila ni Mike. Nagtataka nga ako kung bakit pa niya pinalampas itong si Mike, e ang kulang nal ang sa kanila ay isang fans club at buo na ang kanilang love team. Nanghihinayang talaga ako sa kanilang dalawa. They’re such a beautiful couple. Na-imagin ko agad ang kanilang mgagiging mga anak. The heirs to the thrones of Hilda Koronel and Amalia Funetes o kaya’y ni Christopher de Leon at Richard Gomez. Noong una, medyo naaalangan ako kay Carmi. Para kasing nu’ng makita ko silang dalawa, ang pakiramdam ko, kalabisan na ako sa lunch date na pinagsaluhan namin. Di naman feeling of insecurity dahil ang gusto ko lang, makausap sila ng tanghaling iyon at baka sakaling maayos na ang kanilang relationship. Tingin ko naman dito kay Carmi, ganoon din. Parang may laging nakaharang na kutsilyo sa kanyang bibig ‘pag nagtatanong siya sa akin o kay Mike. Di kaya siya na-insecure sa beauty ko? Tingin n’yo?

.

Naging magkaibigan na nga kami ni Benjie. Kahit tapos na ang ginagawa kong article tungkol sa kanilang project, madalas pa rin kaming magkita. Nag-iinuman kami, nanonood ng sine, o kaya’y simpleng kain lang sa labas o pagbili ng tape sa record bar. Marami naman akong naging kaibigang lalaki, pero iba na ang naging pagkakaibigan namin ni Benjie. Noong una’y naalangan nga ako. Aba, e baka ‘ka ko mapaghinalaan din akong bakla kung isang bakla ang lagi kong kasama. Sabagay, di naman kaagad mahahalatang bakla nga itong si Benjie.

Loveable naman si Benjie. Kahit may katarayan, mabait naman. Okey, okey, aaminin ko. Sa kanya ko uanang naranasang magkaroon ng lakas ng loob na ihinga ang lahat ng nararamdaman ko. ‘Yun bang pouring out of emotions na walang kakaba-kabang sabihan kang bakla o mahina. At pagkaraan ay ang gaan-gaan ng pakiramdam mo. Sa barkada kasi, parang di nabibigyan ng pansin ‘yang mga emotions-emotions. Nakakasawa na rin ang competition. Pataasan ng ihi, patibayan ng sikmura sa mga problema sa buhay, patigasan ng titi. Kapag nag-iinuman kami (at dito lang kami madalas magkasama-sama ng barkada), babae at trabaho ang pulutan namin. Sino ang minakamahusay na mambola ng babae, sino sa mga waitress sa katapat na beerhouse ng opisina ang nadala na sa motel, sino ang pinakahuling sumuka nu’ng nakaraang inuman? Well, paminsan-minsan, napag-uusapan ang tungkol sa mga problemang emosyonal, pero lagi at lagi lang nagpapaka-objective ang barkada. Kanya-kanyang pagsusuri ng problema at paghaharap ng immediate solutions bago pa man pagpakalunod sa emotions. Kaya hindi ako sanay na nagsasabi kung ano ang nararamdaman ko. Ang tumbok agad, ano ang problema at ano ang solusyon. Pero ‘yun nga, iba pala kapag nasusuri mo rin pati ang mga reactions mo sa isang problema, basta nase-share mo lang kung bakit ka masaya, kung bakit ka malungkot. Kay Benjie ko nga lang nasasabi nang buong-buo ang mga bagay na gusto kong gawin, ang mga frustrations ko, ang mga libog ko. Mahusay makinig itong si Benjie. Naipapakita niya sa akin ang mga bagay na di binibigyan ng pansin. Tulad ng pakikipagrelasyon ko kay Carmi. May karapatan naman daw mag-demand si Carmi sa akin dahil siya ang kalahating bahagi ng relasyon. Bada daw kasi di ko pa nalalampasan ang nangyari sa akin nang iwan na lamang ako basta-basta nu’ng una kong syota kaya di ko mabigay ang lahat ng pagmamahal ko kay Carmi. Di lamang daw ako ang lagin iintindihin. Unawain ko rin daw si Carmi.

Di ba totoo naman? Na baka mahal pa rin niya talaga si Carmi? Kahit ba mag-iisang taon na silang break, nagkikita pa rin naman sila paminsan-minsan. Ni hindi pa nga siya nakikipag-relasyon sa ibang babae after Carmi. Ito ngang si Joana, panay na ang dikit sa kanya ‘pag dinadaanan ako ni Mike sa office, di pa rin niya pansin. Sabagay, di naman talaga niya matitipuhan si Joana. Not after Carmi.

So, noong una, sabi ko, wala namang masama kung magiging magkaibigan kami. Nasa akin na ang problema kapag nahumaling na naman ako sa lalaki. Madalas kaming lumabas, lalo na after office hours at during weekends. Manonood ng sine, kakain, iimbitahan ko siya sa apartment for beer o kapag may niluto akong espesyal na ulam o kaya’y nag-prepare ako ng salad. Kapag umuwi ako sa Los Baños para umuwi sa amin, sumasama siya minsan. Na-meet na nga niya ang mother ko. Nagpapalitan rin kami ng tapes at siya ang nagtuturo sa akin ng mga bagong labas na computer programs.

So, okey lang. Pero unti-unti, di na lang tapes at salad o computer programs ang pinagsasaluhan namin. Aba, may kadramahan din sa buhay itong si Mike. Ang dami pa raw niyang gustong gawin sa buhay na parang di niya kayang tuparin. Gusto raw niyang makapagsulat ng libro, gusto daw niyang mag-aral muli, gusto raw niyang mag-abroad. Kung bakit daw kasi di pa niya matapus-tapos ang kanyang M.A. thesis para makakuha siya ng scholarshi? Kung kuntento na raw ba ako sa buhay ko? Ang lahat ng iyon ay kayang-kaya kong sagutin para kahit papaano ay ma-challenge siya na gawin niya kung ano ‘yung gusto niya at kaya niyang gawin. Maliban na lang sa isang tanong na unti-unti ko nang kinatatakutang sagutin nang totoo: kung mahal pa raw kaya niya ni Carmi?

Madalas akong malasing na siya ang kasama, pero ni minsan, di niya ako “ginalaw” (to use the term). May mga pagkakataong tinutukso ko siya, pero di siya bumibigay. Tinanong ko nga siya minsan:

Don’t you find me attractive, Benjie?

At bakit?

Wala.

Wala rin naman akong lakas ng loob na sabihin sa kanya kung bakit. Baka siya masaktan, maka ‘di niya maintindihan, baka lumayo siya sa akin. Ayaw kong lumayo sa akin si Benjie.

Di rin naman perpekto itong si Benjie. Pero di ko rin alam kung ituturing kong kahinaan ang naganap sa amin minsan.. Kung kasalanan man iyon, dapat ay sisihin din ako.

Nagkasunod-sunod ang disappointments ko. Di ko matapus-tapos ‘yung article na ginagawa ko tungkol sa open-pit mining sa Baguio dahil nagkasakit ako ng tatnlong araw at naiwan ako ng grupong pumunta sa site para mag-research. Na-virus ‘yung diskette ko ng sangkaterbang raw data ang naka-store. Nasigawan ako nu’ung office secretary na pinagbintangan kong nagdala ng virus sa aming mga computers. Na-biktima ng akyat-bahay ‘yung kapatid kong taga-Ermita. At tinawagan ako ni Carmi, nagpaalam dahil pupunta na raw siya ng States.

Ang dami kong nainom noon sa apartment ni Benjie. Nang nakahiga na kami, yumakap ako sa kanya, mahigpit. Bulong ako ng bulong sa kanyang tulungan niya ako. Kung ano ang gagawin ko. Pakiramdam ko kasi, wala na akong silbi. Ni ang sarili kong mga relasyon ay di ko maayos. Alam kong nabigla si Benjie sa pagyakap ko sa kanya. Kahit nga ako’y nabigla sa bigla kong pagyakap sa kanya. Pero parang sa pagyakap ko kay Benjie ay nakadama ako ng konting pahinga, ng konting kagaanan ng loob. Matagal bago niya ako sinuklian ng yakap. Na nang ginawa niya’y lalong nagpagaan sa pakiramdam ko. At ang natatandaan ko, hinalikan niya ako sa labi bago ako tuluyang makatulog.

Ako ang hindi makatingin sa kanya nang diretso kinabukasan.

Sorry.

For what?

Kagabi, tinukso kita uli.

Nagpatukso naman ako, e.

Pero wala namang malisya sa akin iyon.

‘Wag na nating pag-usapan.

Nakatulog ka ba?

Hindi.

Bakit?

Binantayan kita.

Bakit?

Iyak ka ng iyak.

Oo nga. Para akong bakla.

Di porke bakla, iyakin.

Sorry.

Mag-almusal ka na. Di ka ba papasok?

Hindi muna. Labas na lang tayo.

Marami akong gagawin sa office. Di ako pwede.

Pwedeng dito na lang muna ako sa bahay mo?

Sure. Mamayang gabi na lang tayo lumabas.

Sige. Ikaw ang bahala.

Inaamin ko ulit. Kakaibang closeness ang nadama ko kay Benjie mula nung gabing iyon. Noong una’y idini-deny ko pa sa sarili ko. Pero sa loob-loob ko, bakit ko idi-deny? Anong masama kung maging close ako sa isang bakla? Kaibigan ko si Benjie, and it doesn’t matter kung anong klaseng tao siya. Sigurado naman ako sa sexuality ko. ‘Yun ngang mga kasama ko sa trabaho, okey lang sa kanila nang malaman nilang bakla pala si Benjie. Di sila makapaniwalang bakla si Benjie at may kaibigan akong bakla. E, super-macho ang mga iyon. Ingat lang daw ako. Na ano? Baka raw mahawa ako. Never, sabi ko pa. Hanggang kaibigan lang.

Sinasabi ko na nga ba, walang patutunguhang maganda ang pagka-kaibigan namin nitong si Mike. Ayoko, ayoko, ayokong ma-in love. Di ko pa kayang masaktan muli. Ayokong sisihin niya ako sa bandang huli. Baka mawala ang respeto niya sa akin. Baka masira ang magandang pagkakaibigan namin. Pero, Mike, di ako perpektong tao. May damdamin ako, may libog ako, marunong din akong umibig at masaktan. Ang drama, ateeee. Pero ang mga ito ang gusto kong sabihin sa kanya nang gabing iyon. Gusto ko siyang tilian at sabihing: tigilan mo ako, kung gusto mo pang magkita tayo kinabukasan! Naloka talaga ako nang bigla na lang isyang yumakap sa akin. E, ano naman ang gagawin ko, ano? Lungkot na lungkot na nga ‘yung tao, alangan namang ipagtabuyan ko pa. At para ano? Para lang manatili akong malinis sa kanyang paningin? Para lang mapatunayan sa kanyang ako ang baklang ipagduldulan man sa lalaking nasa kalagayang katulad niya, sa gitna ng madili na kuwartong kaming dalawa lang ang laman, ay di lang yakap at halik ang gusto kong isukli sa kanya nang gabing iyon. At di rin kahalayan. Gusto ko siyang mahalin. Gusto kong ipadama ang nararamdaman ko para sa kanya. Isang gabi lang iyon. Marami pang gabi ang naghihintay sa amin. At di ako bato para di matukso. Higit sa lahat, bakla ako.

Take it easy, Benjie.

How can I take it easy, Mike, biglang-bigla ang pagkamatay ni Nanay. Ni hindi ko alam ngayon kung magsu-survive ako ng wala siya.

Kaya mo, matatag ka naman.

Not without Nanay. Napaka-dependent ko sa kanya. Alam mo ‘yan.

Nandito naman ako, Benjie.

Napatingin ako kay Mike. Oh, my hero! Sana nga’y totoo ang sinasabi mo. Sana nga’y nandito ka pa rin five or ten years after. Kahit di ko na iniinda ang pagkawala ng nanay. Sana nga’y nandiyan ka pa rin even after one year. Ewan ko lang, Mike. Di ko alam kung alam mo nga ang sinasabi mo.

Pampadagdag talaga sa mga dalahin kong ito si Mike. Sa halip na isipin ko na lang kung paano mabuhay nang wala ang nanay ko, iisipin ko pa ngayon kung paano mabuhay ng wala siya. Okay, okay, I admit it. Mahal ko nga si Mike. Pero sa sarili ko lang inaamin ito. Hanggang doon lang. Di ko kayang sabihin sa kanya nang harap-harapan. He’s not gay. Imposibleng mahalin din niya ako ng tulad ng pagmamahal ko sa kanya. Kaibigan ang turing niya sa akin. At alam ko na kung ano ang isasagot niya sa akin kapag ipinagtapat ko sa kanyang higit pa sa kaibigan ang pagmamahal ko sa kanya ngayon: that we are better off as friends. Masakit iyon, daaay. Masakit ang ma-reject. Lalo na’t nag-umpisa kayo bilang magkaibigan. Nasawi ka na sa pag-ibig, guilty ka pa dahil you have just betrayed a dear friend and destroyed a beautiful friendship.

Naalala ko ang nanay. Di niya inabutan ang lalaking mamahalin ko at makakasama sa buhay. Sana raw ay matagpuan ko na “siya” agad, bago man lang siya mamatay. Noong una niyang makilala si Mike, tinanong niya ako kung si Mike na raw ba? Ang sagot ko’y hindi ko alam.

.

Nandito lang naman ako. Tumingin sa akin si Benjie. Napatingin rin ako sa kanya. Siguro’y kapwa kami nabigla sa sinabi ko. Nandito naman ako. Ano bang ibig sabihin nito? Well, nandito ako as your friend. I’ll take care of you. Di kita pababayaan. Ganyan ako sa kaibigan, Benjie. Pero sa sarili ko lang nasabi ang mga ito. Buong magdamag nag-iiyak si Benjie sa kuwarto nang gabing iyon bago ilibing ang nanay niya. Hinayaan ko siyang yumakap sa akin. Hinayaan ko siyang pagsusuntukin ang dibdib ko. Yakap, suntok, iyak. Hanggang sa makatulog sa dibdib ko. Noon ako naiyak.

Tahimik pa rin si Benjie hanggang sa matapos ang seminar na dinaluhan niya sa Baguio. Habang sakay ng bus pauwi, noon lamang siya nagsalita.

Sorry sa mga sinabi ko kagabi sa bar, Mike.

Sabi ko na’t ‘yun pa rin ang iniisip mo.

Bakit, di mo ba naiisip ang ibig sabihin nu’ng mga sinabi ko sa’yo?

Iniisip ko rin. So what’s wrong with that?

What’s wrong? Mike, umaasa ako sa imposible.

Di masamang umasa.

Kung may aasahan. At alam ko namang wala.

But don’t you think that we are better off as friends?

(Sabi ko na. Sabi ko na!) But I’ve gone beyond my limits.

Alam mo naman ang ibig kong sabihin.

So what do you expect from me?

.

Ano ba talaga ang gustong palabasin nitong si Mike? Ni hindi nagalit. Di rin naman nagko-confirm na mahal din niya ako. Ay naku daaay, imbyerna na ako, ha! Ayoko ng mga guessing game na ganito. Pero mukhang masaya siya sa mga nangyayari sa buhay niya lately. Open pa rin siya sa akin at mukhang wala namang itinatago. Wala naman siyang resentment nang sabihin niya sa aking umalis na sa Pilipinas si Carmi.

Pero ako na naman ang naipit sa sitwasyon. Kung pagdedesisyunin ko siya, baka di ko makaya. Pero dalawa lang naman ang maaari niyang isagot: oo, mahal din niya ako bilang lover. Ang problema na lang ay kung matatanggap kong hanggang sa pagiging magkaibigan na lang talaga ang relasyon namin.

Ayain ko kaya siyang maki-share sa aking apartment? ‘Pag pumayag siya, di magkakaroon ako—at kami—ng pagkakataong palalimin ang aming relasyon. ‘Pag tumanggi siya, bahala na. Sanay na naman akong nag-iisa.

Tiningnan ko sandali si Mike at pagkaraan ay muli kong ibinaling sa may bintana ang aking tingin. Mabilis ang takbo ng bus sa North Diversion Road. Mayamaya lang ay nasa Maynila na kami. Sana, bago kami makarating ng Maynila, masabi ko na sa kanya ang balak ko. Ano kaya ang isasagot ni Mike? But, does it matter?

Hindi na siya uli nagsalita. Pero, habang nagbibiyahe kami ay marami na uli akong naikuwento sa kanya. Nai-enroll ko na uli ‘yung MA thesis ko at papasok na uli ako this semester. Tinanong ko siya kung pwede niya akong tulungan sa research dahil ‘yung thesis ko rin ang balak kong pag-umpisahan ng isinusulat kong libro. Ikinuwento ko ring umalis na si Carmi at kasama ako sa mga naghatid. Tumawag nga rin daw sa kanya at ibinigay ang address sa States para daw sulatan niya. tinanong ko kung susulatan niya. Kung may time raw siya.

raw siya.

Inaya niya akong umuwi ng Los Baños para dalawin ang puntod ng nanay niya. Sabi ko’y sure this coming weekend.

‘Yung tungkol doon sa sinabi niya sa akin noong isang gabi, pinag-iisipan ko naman talaga nang malalim. Di ako na-offend pero di rin naman ako sure kung gusto ko nga ulit marinig sa kanyang mahal niya ako. Natatakot akong magbigay ng anumang reaksyon sa kanya. baka mai-misinterpret niya ako. Ayokong mag-away kami dahil sa nararamdaman niya sa akit at nararamdaman ko sa kanya. One thing is sure, though. Ayokong mawala si Benjie sa akin. Napakahalaga niya sa akin para mawala.

Ang balak ko’y ganito: tatanungin ko siya kung puwede akong maki-share sa kanyang apartment. ‘Pag pumayag siya, di mas mapag-aaralan ko talaga ang gusto ko—at namin—na mangyari sa aming relasyon. Kung gusto ko siyang makasama nang matagalan. Kung mahal ko rin siya. Kapag hindi, we’ll still be friends.

Mabilis ang takbo ng bus sa North Diversion Road. Nakatingin sa labas ng bintana si Benjie. Alam kong nahihirapan siya. Kinuha ko ang palad niya at pinisil ko ito. Kung bakla rin ako? Hindi ako sigurado. But, does it matter?

[jcmarchi]

Amazon partners with Anthropic to enhance Alexa

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/amazon-partners-with-anthropic-to-enhance-alexa/

Amazon partners with Anthropic to enhance Alexa

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Amazon is gearing up to roll out a revamped version of its Alexa voice assistant, which is expected to be available this October, right before the US shopping rush.

Internally referred to as “Remarkable,” the new technology will be powered by Anthropic’s Claude AI models. Sources close to the matter have indicated that this shift occurred due to the underperformance of Amazon’s in-house software.

The enhanced Alexa will operate using advanced generative AI to handle more complex queries. Amazon plans to offer the new Alexa as a subscription service, priced between $5 and $10 per month, while the classic version of Alexa will remain free. This approach marks a significant change for Amazon and suggests that the company aims to turn this voice assistant into a profitable venture after years of limited success in generating revenue through this platform.

Amazon’s decision to quickly adopt an external model, Claude, indicates a strategic shift. Amazon typically prefers to build everything in-house to minimise its dependence on third-party vendors, thereby avoiding external influences on customer behaviour and business strategies, as well as external influences on who controls data. However, it seems that Amazon’s traditional strategy does not provide the massive AI capability needed, or perhaps Amazon has realised the need for more powerful AI. It is also worth noting that the involved AI developer, OpenAI, is affiliated with major technology companies like Apple and Microsoft in developing AI technologies.

The launch of the “Remarkable” Alexa is anticipated during Amazon’s annual devices and services event in September, though the company has not confirmed the exact date. This event will also mark the first public appearance of Panos Panay, the new head of Amazon’s devices division, who has taken over from long-time executive David Limp.

The updated version of Alexa would be a more interactive and intuitive assistant, as the new functionality would stem from its conversational mode. The assistant is envisioned to do more than just recognise patterns in people’s speech; it would be able to hold conversations built on previous interactions. The most likely features include personalised shopping advice, news aggregation, and more advanced home automation. As for whether customers would pay for Alexa, this likely depends on the final set of available features. The issue might be particularly pressing for Amazon, given that customers already pay for Prime membership.

The future for Alexa is quite ambitious, but it also bears significant risks. For the new version to be successful, internal performance benchmarks must be met. While estimates for “Remarkable” Alexa suggest that even a small percentage of current users paying for the premium version could become a substantial income stream for Amazon, the likelihood of achieving the expected outcomes remains uncertain.

However, Amazon’s partnership with Anthropic is currently under regulatory review, largely due to an investigation by the UK’s antitrust regulator. The impending upgrade announcement and the regulator’s response could significantly influence the company’s future activities.

Amazon’s initiative to adopt an AI solution developed by Anthropic marks a significant shift for the company, which previously focused on developing its proprietary technology. At this point, it is possible to view this move as part of the general trend in the industry to turn to partnerships regarding AI development to enhance the competitiveness of products.

See also: Amazon strives to outpace Nvidia with cheaper, faster AI chips

Want to learn more about AI and big data from industry leaders? Check out AI & Big Data Expo taking place in Amsterdam, California, and London. The comprehensive event is co-located with other leading events including Intelligent Automation Conference, BlockX, Digital Transformation Week, and Cyber Security & Cloud Expo.

Explore other upcoming enterprise technology events and webinars powered by TechForge here.

Tags: ai, alexa, Amazon, artificial intelligence, claude, generative ai, voice assistant

[tambling-mga-kapatid]

Surprise, Campers! | Sparks Camp Season 2 Episode 2 |

Personality Review

Part 1: Sparks Reveal

Kyle saying "I'm used to not being picked." was sort of a turn-off for me.

You could tell that the most disappointed for not receiving any sparks were: Kyle, Pipoy, and Martin.

I'm not feeling sincerity from Zuher for some reason.

Part 2: Welcome Pride Party

Enter Seichi. Ang lakas ng dating niya. In fairness, hot sya. Sa umpisa, at least. I do get why he described himself as "always a good time". He really is the most fun person in the group. I think the most quotable quote for the day was Seichi exclaiming "Everyone's boobs is big here! What the f---?!" 😂😂😂Unfortunately, he's also the most discomforting.

Enter Paco. Damn, this guy is beautiful. Thing is, why does the way he talks and behaves seem---I dunno---like he's following a script in his head?

Sobrang high energy talaga itong si Ejay. Minsan na-o-O.A.-ayan ako sa kanya.

Loko tong si Martin. Haha. Not sure I like that he wanted to get some people drunk but it is funny. 😆

Miggy: "I am a dog. Arf! Arf! Arf!" 🤣🤣🤣

Pipoy was obviously having difficulty dealing with his insecurity regarding his body. I wish he could outgrow that insecurity because it makes him less attractive. I'm glad though that he found a way to get it off his chest.

Kyle saying "Kyle, pogi ka but if you work out you would be unstoppable!" was a big turn-off for me. Even if he was only quoting his friend. I dunno. "Unstoppable"? Uhm... hmm... Maybe I'm just allergic to that word.

My gosh, Zuher, medyo O.A. na yung pinoprojek mong hunky image. You already ARE a hunk. No need to project it. Tsaka naku panay red flags ka. Then again this IS a contest so I get it. But if it wasn't, red flag, bro.

Universe is clearly the most authentic person among all the ten campers. I worry though that he is the type to easily fall prey to manipulation as he just way too transparent and way too nice.

Allan and Ejay doing the mata-mata 👀👀school of communication bit was funny as fuck. Haha. But they certainly went the only ones uncomfortable with Seichi's seeming pomposity. Even Martin and Miggy were showing obvious signs of discomfort.

Attractiveness Ranking

Paco

Zuher

Seichi

Martin

Universe

Kyle

Pipoy

Ejay

Allan

Miggy

Interestingness Ranking

Seichi

Martin

Zuher

Allan

Ejay

Universe

Paco

Pipoy

Miggy

Kyle

Likeability Ranking

Universe. Ten points for authenticity.

Paco. He's gorgeous.

Martin. Loko. Haha.

Allan. Funny and safe.

Pipoy. A bit insecure but he's super nice.

Ejay. Becas he's a bit O.A.

Zuher. Red Flags!

Seichi. Discomforting but super fun.

Miggy. Too quiet later on in the night.

Kyle. "Unstoppable" story was kinda hmm.

Whom would I want to take on a date or give a spark to:

Paco

I wouldn't pass the opportunity to have a date with this gorgeous guy.

[rosevjuniosa83]

BPI VS. SANCHEZ

(Art. 1385)

Facts:

The case involves a dispute over a parcel of land located at Panay Avenue Quezon City. The land was originally owned by Vicente Victor Sanchez, Kenneth, Nereo and Imelda (Sanchez).

Jesus Garcia, a businessman related to Trans American Sale and Exposition offered to buy the land from Vicente for P 1.8 Million. However, the party failed to come to an agreement within the specified period of time.

After sometime, Feliza Yap, widow of Kenneth Sanchez, continued and agreed to sell the property under certain conditions, then, Garcia told her to hand him down over the necessary documents and he shall take care of it, including the transfer of title. So, Yap turned over to Garcia the original TCT while Garcia paid her P 50,000.00.

Then, Garcia took possession of the land and demolished the house in the property even without the knowledge and consent of Yap.

ISSUE:

W/N there was a valid recession of agreement bet. the Sanchezes and Garcia.

RULING:

The court held that there was a valid recession of agreement as this case reveals that the buyer is acted in bad faith/builder of bad faith. That even they knew the fact that the property still belonged to the Sanchezes and yet, they continue to build townhouses without the authority and consent of the land owners.

Therefore, the court declared the sale of the said property Null and Void.

[pannaginip]

Panay Today on Facebook:

AKLAN - Earlier today, redtagging slogans were painted on cement barriers along the highway connecting Tangalan and Ibajay towns in Aklan.

The slogans, "Mabuhay Ang CPP - Kim-Sin F. Tugna" and "#55-CPP from BAYAN-Aklan", maliciously linked the progressive group BAYAN-Aklan and its spokesperson, Kim-sin Tugna with the Communist Party of the Philippines (CPP).

BAYAN-Aklan added the "this is a clear violation of human rights that targets those who firmly stand for truth and the democratic interests of the people." This is not the first time that Tugna and the whole organization were attacked, they said.

Tugna has been subjected to surveillance, threats, and was also harassed by the state forces many times before.

BAYAN-Aklan called on the local government units of Tangalan and Ibajay towns, and Aklan province to investigate the case and hold those behind the red-tagging slogan accountable.

2024 Feb. 9

[spotjardin]

Que faire au jardin du lundi 1er au dimanche 7 janvier 2024

Une partie du jardin partagé de Cendras Vous y trouverez tous les renseignements nécessaires, et si besoin n’hésitez pas à poser vos questions en commentaire afin d’avoir des précisions supplémentaires. Jour fruits

Plantez du cassissier BONNE ANNÉE 2024 Ne jardinez pas après 11h30 : Lune à l'apogée. Au verger Plantez des arbres fruitiers hors période de gel. Pensez à praliner les racines nues et à laisser le point de greffe dépasser de quelques centimètres de la surface du sol. Installez à chaque arbre fruitier planté, un tuteur robuste pas trop près du tronc afin d'éviter d'éventuelles blessures par frottement. Plantez des groseilliers, des framboisiers, des cassissiers et autres arbustes à petits fruits. Les arbres fruitiers âgés doivent être élagués. ATTENTION, le cerisier n'aime pas les grosses tailles. Contentez-vous de supprimer les rameaux abimés et ceux mal placés. Taillez la vigne hors période de gel, en laissant 3 yeux en partant de la base de chaque sarment. Taillez au dessus du troisième œil. Marcottez ou bouturez le figuier. Commencez à effectuer les traitements contre la cloque du pêcher en pulvérisant du purin de prèle. Alternez ce traitement avec du purin d'orties à un mois d'intervalle. Lundi 1er janvier Jour fruits / racines

Taillez la vigne hors période de gel Au verger avant 12h00 en jours fruits Plantez des arbres fruitiers hors période de gel. Pensez à praliner les racines nues et à laisser le point de greffe dépasser de quelques centimètres de la surface du sol. Installez à chaque arbre fruitier planté, un tuteur robuste pas trop près du tronc afin d'éviter d'éventuelles blessures par frottement. Plantez des groseilliers, des framboisiers, des cassissiers et autres arbustes à petits fruits. Les arbres fruitiers âgés doivent être élagués. ATTENTION, le cerisier n'aime pas les grosses tailles. Contentez-vous de supprimer les rameaux abimés et ceux mal placés. Taillez la vigne hors période de gel, en laissant 3 yeux en partant de la base de chaque sarment. Taillez au dessus du troisième œil. Marcottez ou bouturez le figuier. Commencez à effectuer les traitements contre la cloque du pêcher en pulvérisant du purin de prèle. Alternez ce traitement avec du purin d'orties à un mois d'intervalle. Au jardin potager à partir de 12h00 passage en jour racines Continuez à récolter du salsifis, du scorsonère, du topinambour, du raifort, du crosne, du poireau et du panais. Je vous rappelle de pailler ces légumes si vous souhaitez en récolter toute la saison hivernale y compris en période de gel. Désherbez et éclaircissez les semis de carottes. Si vous habitez dans une région douce, vous pouvez planter de l'oignon, de l'ail et de l'échalote sur un sol qui ne doit pas être trop riche en azote et surtout n'ayant pas reçu des alliacées depuis au moins 4 ans. Si vous avez un sol lourd, passez votre grelinette pour aérer ce dernier à grosses mottes. Le gel se chargera de faire éclater ces dernières. Retournez votre tas de compost et s'il est trop sec, arrosez-le. Par contre s'il est trop humide, faites-lui un apport de paille. Continuez à dégermer les pommes de terre et pensez à retirer celles qui sont abimées. Et pour terminer, vérifiez tous vos légumes racines conservés dans du sable. - - - mardi 2 janvier Jour racines

Récoltez vos poireaux Au jardin potager Continuez à récolter du salsifis, du scorsonère, du topinambour, du raifort, du crosne, du poireau et du panais. Je vous rappelle de pailler ces légumes si vous souhaitez en récolter toute la saison hivernale y compris en période de gel. Désherbez et éclaircissez les semis de carottes. Si vous habitez dans une région douce, vous pouvez planter de l'oignon, de l'ail et de l'échalote sur un sol qui ne doit pas être trop riche en azote et surtout n'ayant pas reçu des alliacées depuis au moins 4 ans. Si vous avez un sol lourd, passez votre grelinette pour aérer ce dernier à grosses mottes. Le gel se chargera de faire éclater les mottes. Retournez votre tas de compost et s'il est trop sec, arrosez-le. Par contre s'il est trop humide, faites-lui un apport de paille. Continuez à dégermer les pommes de terre et pensez à retirer celles qui sont abimées. Et pour terminer, vérifiez tous vos légumes racines conservés dans du sable. mercredi 3 janvier Jour racines

Plantez des échalotes Nœud lunaire : Évitez de jardiner après 15h00. Au jardin potager Continuez à récolter du salsifis, du scorsonère, du topinambour, du raifort, du crosne, du poireau et du panais. Je vous rappelle de pailler ces légumes si vous souhaitez en récolter toute la saison hivernale y compris en période de gel. Désherbez et éclaircissez les semis de carottes. Si vous habitez dans une région douce, vous pouvez planter de l'oignon, de l'ail et de l'échalote sur un sol qui ne doit pas être trop riche en azote et surtout n'ayant pas reçu des alliacées depuis au moins 4 ans. Si vous avez un sol lourd, passez votre grelinette pour aérer ce dernier à grosses mottes. Le gel se chargera de faire éclater les mottes. Retournez votre tas de compost et s'il est trop sec, arrosez-le. Par contre s'il est trop humide, faites-lui un apport de paille. Continuez à dégermer les pommes de terre et pensez à retirer celles qui sont abimées. Et pour terminer, vérifiez tous vos légumes racines conservés dans du sable. jeudi 4 janvier Jour racines

Retournez votre compost Au jardin potager Continuez à récolter du salsifis, du scorsonère, du topinambour, du raifort, du crosne, du poireau et du panais. Je vous rappelle de pailler ces légumes si vous souhaitez en récolter toute la saison hivernale y compris en période de gel. Désherbez et éclaircissez les semis de carottes. Si vous habitez dans une région douce, vous pouvez planter de l'oignon, de l'ail et de l'échalote sur un sol qui ne doit pas être trop riche en azote et surtout n'ayant pas reçu des alliacées depuis au moins 4 ans. Si vous avez un sol lourd, passez votre grelinette pour aérer ce dernier à grosses mottes. Le gel se chargera de faire éclater les mottes. Retournez votre tas de compost et s'il est trop sec, arrosez-le. Par contre s'il est trop humide, faites-lui un apport de paille. Continuez à dégermer les pommes de terre et pensez à retirer celles qui sont abimées. Et pour terminer, vérifiez tous vos légumes racines conservés dans du sable. vendredi 5 janvier Jour fleurs

Protégez vos artichauts Au jardin potager Protégez vos artichauts si cela n'est pas déjà fait. Et si vous souhaitez en planter d'autres, commencez à préparer les trous. Au jardin d'agrément En période hors gel, vous pouvez planter des arbustes caducs à fleurs, des plantes grimpantes à fleurs ainsi que des rosiers à racines nues. Pour ces derniers, je vous conseille de les praliner. Pensez à butter le point de greffe des rosiers, surtout ceux qui ont été plantés récemment ou bien ceux qui sont plutôt gélifs. Le débuttage se fait à la saison printanière dès qu'il n'y a plus de risque de gelées. Taillez les rosiers en raccourcissant les tiges à une cinquantaine de centimètres. Taillez également les clématites qui ont fleuri pendant la saison estivale. La taille d'hiver des glycines peut commencer. Pour cela, raccourcissez tous les rameaux en laissant 3 ou 4 bourgeons à chaque couronne. Plantez des églantiers. Taillez la lavatère arbustive. Plantez des roses de noël et des chrysanthèmes. En intérieur Plantez ou bien rempotez des bulbes d’amaryllis. samedi 6 JANVIER Jour fleurs

Taillez vos rosiers hors période de gel Au jardin potager Protégez vos artichauts si cela n'est pas déjà fait. Et si vous souhaitez en planter d'autres, commencez à préparer les trous. Au jardin d'agrément En période hors gel, vous pouvez planter des arbustes caducs à fleurs, des plantes grimpantes à fleurs ainsi que des rosiers à racines nues. Pour ces derniers, je vous conseille de les praliner. Pensez à butter le point de greffe des rosiers, surtout ceux qui ont été plantés récemment ou bien ceux qui sont plutôt gélifs. Le débuttage se fait à la saison printanière dès qu'il n'y a plus de risque de gelées. Taillez les rosiers en raccourcissant les tiges à une cinquantaine de centimètres. Taillez également les clématites qui ont fleuri pendant la saison estivale. La taille d'hiver des glycines peut commencer. Pour cela, raccourcissez tous les rameaux en laissant 3 ou 4 bourgeons à chaque couronne. Plantez des églantiers. Taillez la lavatère arbustive. Plantez des roses de noël et des chrysanthèmes. En intérieur Plantez ou bien rempotez des bulbes d’amaryllis. dimanche 7 janvier Je rappelle que les jours prévus par le calendrier lunaire seront pour que vous ayez une idée des périodes de plantation ou de semis car vous devrez faire face aux variations climatiques (pluie, neige, Etc..). Ceci pour vous dire que vous serez obligé parfois de déroger au calendrier lunaire pour cause de mauvais temps.

Read the full article

[grison-in-space]

Yeah this is bullshit actually? I mean, no nation at this point does anything for just one reason, but the Japanese attack was an inciting spark on a massive powderkeg, not a random event that sparked involvement from a totally disconnected US. For fuck's sake, a full year before Pearl Harbor FDR addressed the nation and explicitly referred to the US as the "Arsenal of Democracy" while trying to broker peace between isolationists and interventionists--because interventionist sentiments on behalf of Britain and France were already strong!

Public opinion towards the Axis powers was already very negative, it's just that people disagreed on whether it was a good idea to help Allied powers. The US had always had a strong isolationist bent that had relaxed only briefly and imperfectly during the WWI years. FDR's administration were much more pro intervention but they gave that up in order to maintain support for the domestic provisions in the New Deal. This is a matter of record: it's why the administration didn't formally intervene in the Spanish Civil War or the second Italian invasion of Ethiopia. American outcry against foreign wars was certainly in evidence then, of course: the US formally donated $2 million to the Republican uprising against Franco's fascists and quite a lot of volunteer soldiers, including the entire Lincoln Battalion and a smattering of others mixed in with various antifascist and anarchist groups. It was a huge thing for leftist working class men of the day, including George Orwell most famously.

So leading into WWII Americans are torn between people who just don't want to get involved and people who are champing at the bit to step in, rather like the way we are currently handling the war in Ukraine. (Actually, the situation with Ukraine is extremely similar to the situation moving into WWII watching German and Italian aggression.) Figuratively, half the nation was dancing from foot to foot to get itself into the war because of the European theater. There was massive public pressure to that effect, and the faction of FDR's party holding office in the administration tends to side with them--but there's a fuck ton of turmoil, we've just come out of the Great Depression, and he's fighting tooth and nail to get his admittedly extensive policies forced through Congress. This is a battle he's not picking with his enemies: his priorities are domestic. So the US, for a solid year, is publicly declaring that they're taking this compromise that no one is really happy with, where they're an ally in all but name supplying the Allied powers with shit tons of supplies, weapons, and resources. The US is openly just funneling tanks and trucks and bombs and guns to the Allied war effort, especially the European allies and to a lesser extent China.

And this speech is explicitly centered on Europe! Japan itself is scarcely referenced except as the Nazis' Eastern sidekick, struggling with our sidekick China--as the speech positions Italy and Greece as Western sidekicks. Actually, it is Germany FDR centers as the main antagonist, and Britain (and implicitly the US itself) as the main protagonist. Actually, here's the speech itself. Read it if you like.

Sure, that's just one speech. But the broadest strategy of the US going into WWII was to take the "Europe First" strategy, focusing on the European theater as first priority and only secondarily dealing with Japan, which was felt to be too far away to directly threaten anyone's capital. (Remember, Pearl Harbor is halfway across the Pacific Ocean to Japan, and the US capitol is another continent away from that.)

On top of that, the US hadn't even been competing with Japan in Asia before the war: if anything, US policy had run towards minimizing confrontation with Japan in order to avoid losing trade deals. The things that swung American opinion most sharply against Japan in 1937 were the Japanese attack on the USS Panay (an American ship taking on Chinese and American civilians fleeing from the Japanese invasion of Nanjing) and the concurrent Nanjing Massacre. Here the general tone is not of competition for resources but horror at aggression from one foreign power towards another, combined with defensive anger over a Japanese attack on an uninvolved US ship. That's the precipitating incident that convinces the US to start providing China foreign aid against the Japanese invasion: not greed, but horror and outraged fury at being treated like an enemy.

Like, fuck yes the US has participated in colonialist endeavors, don't get me wrong. The Phillipines are a great example of that; that war was a naked greed power grab. But there's not really much of that going on as the US comes into the war. Economics certainly aren't a big focus: you have a nation coming out of the Great Depression battered and hungry, consumed with its own struggles. It's not looking for new things to digest; it's trying to survive what it already has.

Like, for fuck's sake, Tumblr. Do like five minutes of research before you reblog this shit. No one is asking you to believe the US is like, a paragon of virtue here, but this is a laughable assessment of what's going on leading into this war.

This shit is certainly very confident and it swears a lot and it reinforces a really negative and pessimistic view of ourselves, but it's total horseshit when you look closely at the details of history. I don't believe in sanding the warts off when I think about our past, but I don't believe in inventing more where there aren't any either.

Sometimes the depressing thing that whispers terrible things about our own intent worthlessness is wrong. Even if it seems depressingly likely. Throw off the mandatory self loathing and learn how to be accurately responsible for only the crimes the nation has actually committed. Learn about the parts of the history you can honestly be proud of, not least the people who have been struggling for justice all along, and learn from them! They have so much to teach us about getting things done today! Get curious!

Crazy how like 90% of the United States' involvement in WW2 stemmed from our competition with Japan for colonial conquests in the Pacific which happened to lead us into our only anti-fascist alliance in our entire history which was de facto abandoned before the war was even over for the more important goal of containing communism and this has been reframed in the decades since as "the United States beat the Nazis"

[bigoudibouclebrunes]

Bigoudi Bouclebrunes et le party de Noël (de Noël)

« Je crois, mes chers hobbits, que le mot « wok » s'est imposé médiatiquement depuis quelques années, non pas sans mes efforts. Je dois avouer qu’il est de mon devoir de redéfinir le mot « wok ». Ce mot elfique veut bel et bien décrire une petite cuve de métal, principalement de l’aluminium, permettant de faire blanchir, oui, oui, blanchir ou sauter des particules nutritives de plusieurs aliments pour se sustenter. Il faudrait que la gauche culinaire revienne de ce terme et que nous arrêtions de multiculturaliser notre alimentation! Palsembleu! Il faut que l’alimentation inclusive cesse de détruire tout ce que l’art traditionnel culinaire a mis en place! On parle de progrès, d’acceptation, de mélange… je dis que ceci est un mensonge. Nous détruisons notre héritage alimentaire pour plaire à qui? À la nouvelle génération? Eh bien qu’elle mange ce que nous avons mangé, nous tous! Pourquoi les nouvelles générations devraient-elles avoir « du choix »? Pourquoi les nouvelles générations devraient-elles se soucier des contraintes alimentaires des autres? Par soucis d’acceptation? Non! Nous devons nous battre contre le wokisme! »

Bigoudi referma alors la chronique de Mahieu Cock-Bôté dans le Journal de Mordor en ne louchant que d’un œil, signe que son cerveau avait sûrement redémarré en cours de lecture, une sorte de mécanisme de survie à la vision d’un article qui ne respectait ni les lois de la logique, ni celles de la pertinence et encore moins celles de l’introspection. Pendant quelques secondes, Bigoudi arrêta de respirer et ne sut plus comment il s’appellait ni ce qu’il faisait dans ce Bed & Elevensies sur la route menant à Minas Truite. Mais cela ne dura qu’une fraction de seconde et après quoi, il se débarrassa vite de ce qu’il répugnait maintenant à appeler un « journal ». « Plus comme une arme de destruction massive des cellules grises, dit-il. » Puis, il maudit à la fois le fait que ce torchon ne soit la seule lecture qu’il ait pu trouvé et son ami Grandoulf qui l’avait entraîné bien malgré lui vers un party de Noël de Sagiciens.

Cette mésaventure l’avait heureusement mis en appétit. Le repas servi à sa table lui ferait le plus grand bien. Certes, il avait quitté Bourg-L’Aïeul et regrettait ses bons plats mijotés, mais le village de Sainte-Fringale-en-Bouchées-sur-Cresson lui offrait bien d’autres merveilles.

On lui avait apporté un vrai plateau de charcuteries, comprenant un tataki de canard, des saucissons du bas pays, du jambon du Gondor, du fromage fin de la Lothlorien, un brie de la Comté ainsi que des salades vinaigrées de wakamé, une petite salade de chou et carottes avec des raisins de corinthe. Suivait après un potage d’oignons caramélisés ainsi qu’un potage à la courge noix-au-beurre avec du pain frais et du beurre au romarin. Il y avait du bœuf braisé sur lit de légumes racines grillés avec une petite sauce brune exquise, un hachis parmentier de canard au goût divin, un plat de homard au beurre et à la crème citronnée, une soupe de poireau et poisson blanc, une tourtière aux épices, un pain à la viande servi avec asperges et haricots, une salade verte aux édamames, une salade de panais à la crème, une petite ratatouille gratinée ainsi qu’un soufflé aux légumes racines avec petit coulis aux tomates. On avait aussi apporté un petit « bar à poutine » dans sa chambre et il avait pu tester une sauce au poivre, une sauce aux légumes, une sauce au vin rouge dans ses poutines ainsi qu’une petite sauce au chocolat avec des frites de churros et quelques petits grains de guimauves. Plus loin sur la table se trouvait aussi une tarte citron-meringue, une tarte aux pommes, une croustade aux pommes, ainsi qu’un pichet de chocolat chaud au lait d’avoine ainsi que plusieurs sortes de thés, dont un magnifique thé blanc à la pêche et aux abricots.

Bigoudi trouvait malheureusement que certaines portions de ses plats étaient trop petites, mais on lui avait assuré qu’on pourrait lui donner des restes des cuisines lors de son départ.

Grandoulf rentra en trombe dans sa chambre, faisant sursauter Bigoudi qui ne l’attendait pas.

« Mon cher Bigoudi! Dit-il. J’ai eu des nouvelles de la réunion de Noël des Sagiciens et je me dois de vous presser. Nous avons devancé le rendez-vous… »

Grandoulf s’était mis sur son 31. Il avait même mis un peu de paillettes dans sa barbe.

- Par les étoiles, Grandoulf, vous êtes magnifique! Dit Bigoudi en retirant sa bavette et en se levant à regret de la table, une portion de parmentier laissée dans son assiette, mais excité à l’idée d’aller voir une réunion des Sagiciens. Vous avez devancé le rendez-vous? Mais… un sagicien n’arrive ni en retard, ni trop tôt… il arrive précisément lorsqu’il le doit!

- Je… s’arrêta Grandoulf. Ma foi, haha, je vous aurez appris au moins cette chose! Très juste, Bigoudi! Mais je me fais une fierté, cette année, d’arriver pile à l’heure prédite… juste pour contrarier Nantelroumane.

Bigoudi se souvenait du sorcier Nantelroumane. Un être qui avait été assez longtemps sur le devant de la scène pour devenir un antagoniste. Prendre la parole en public pendant trop longtemps est un pouvoir qui corrompt. Il se rappellait de la robe blanche qu’il arborait à leur dernière échauffourée, robe qui lui prodiguait le rôle de Grand Sagicien, mais qui, en fait, n’était qu’un camaïeu de brun-gris sale, rappellant les égoûts d’où sortait sa logique. Il ne voulait pas voir ce Sagicien à la réunion et frissonna à l’idée de le recontrer.

« Partons, alors, Grandoulf. Je suis déjà prêt! » dit alors Bigoudi.

Les deux se mirent en route vers le lieu de rencontre, une jolie maisonnée elfique nommée Wokanda Foreva. Lorsqu’ils arrivèrent, ils savaient être dans les premiers arrivés. Grandoulf était fébrile et ne cessait de réajuster sa robe de sagicien gris-bleue.

On les mena à l’intérieur où ils virent deux sagiciens habillés de bleu poudre sur la table du fond, puis un sagicien habillé de bleu foncé s’avança vers eux.

« Mes bons amis! » dit alors Radagapaul-saint-pierre. Le sagicien vêtu de brun avait fait une chose que Grandoulf respectait énormément. Il avait tenu tête au groupe des sagiciens pour ne pas prêter allégeance au nouveau Roi du Gondor. Il trouvait la pratique archaïque et il n’était pas le seule. Galabrielle Nabot-Desbois avait lui aussi refusé.

« Cela me fait plaisir d’être enfin ici et de pouvoir vous souhaitez la bienvenue. Je suis contente de n’être point seul à qui parler… il regarda les deux sagiciens bleu poudre. Ouin… y’a Sinon-Bolin-Jarrette pis Boristian Dubitatif là-bas. ‘sont pas bin bin jasant pis en plus, ils grognent quand je m’approche d’eux où qu’on parle d’éducation, de crise du logement, de crise en santé ou d’immigration… » Un lointain grognement provenant de la table des sagiciens bleu poudre se fit entendre. « Ils préfèrent faire des messes basses pour punir les magasins de jeux de sociétés de ne pas vendre assez d’exemplaires de jeu en français… on penserait qu’ils régleraient des questions plus urgentes, comme la crise climatique, mais eh… on peut pas trop leur en demander, j’pense. »

Grandoulf dit alors : « Est-ce que nous sommes complets? Je veux dire… nous sommes les sagiciens réunis et… »

Puis, il l’entendit… le son hait de tous. « TADROS! TADROS! » C’était Conspiragollum, flanqué de Nantelroumane.

« Ah, shit, répliqua Radagapaul-saint-pierre. J’pensais sincèrement qu’ils allaient pas venir. »

Nantelroumane dit alors : « Mes chers Sagiciens! Je suis content que vous puissiez être avec moi ce soir pour fêter la Noël! Je vous l’avouerais, mes amis, je serai heureux de vous parler du fait qu’on ne peut plus rien dire, maintenant! J’aimerais commencer la soirée en vous parlant d’une chose qui transformera le futur! Les NFTs… Les Non-Fungible Token… Mon ami Conspiragollum et moi avons investi une somme énorme et… »

Et soudainement, une trappe s’ouvrir et englouti à la fois Nantelroumane et Conspiragollum.

Grandoulf se retourna vers Radagapaul-saint-pierre et le regarda d’un regard inquisiteur…

« Ah oui, j’ai oublié de mentionné… j’ai installé des trappes à goblins dans la salle… il y en a plusieurs qui sont venus récemment pour chiâler que le marché des NFTs étaient tombé et qu’il fallait le redresser à grands coups d’achats et d’autres idioties qui ne sont pas réglementées… alors peu importe, lorsque quelqu’un lance une tirade sur ça, une trappe s’ouvre. »

- Et où vont-ils? Demanda Bigoudi…

- Oh, j’ai juste installé les trappes… je sais pas où ça s’en va… dit alors le sagicien brun. Oh, d’ailleurs, Grandoulf, j’ai quelque chose pour vous!

Il tendit à Grandoulf un petit paquet cadeau fait avec du tissu recyclé, fait En Terre du Milieu.

Grandoulf le déballa. C’était un ouvrage de l’anthropologue demi-elfe Serge Bouchard sur l’histoire de la Terre du Milieu, vu par les femmes, les première nations et les coureurs des bois.

Grandoulf en était tout ému.

- Merci, mon cher sagicien, dit-il, étranglé par l’émotion.

- Nous avons peut-être des visions différentes, vous, Galabrielle Nabot-Desbois et moi sur où devrait aller la Terre du Milieu… mais je vous respecte. Vous deux.

Il jeta un regard à la table des deux sagiciens bleus.

- Eux aussi, mais… un peu moins, mettons. Merci d’être venus, Grandoulf. Nous attendons encore Galabrielle et quelques autres, puis, nous pourrons faire une petite rétrospective de l’année, entre nous. Les sagiciens bleus ne veulent pas partager ce qu’ils ont fait, alors ils seront au bar toute la soirée. Ça vous va?

- Ou… oui, répondit Grandoulf, ému. Oui, nous devons parler d’opposition contre la guilde des sagiciens bleus pâles. Nous serions bien de nous tenir les coudes…

Bigoudi sourit. La Terre du Milieu s’enfonçait dans des ténèbres toujours grandissantes… mais ce à quoi il avait assisté lui réchauffait le cœur. Il prit alors un long island ice tea au bar avant de suivre Grandoulf et Radagapaul-saint-pierre et se dit qu’au moins, il pouvait se permettre d’être trash pendant une soirée… en bonne compagnie.

Joyeux Noël. De Noël.

[cyriene032206]

•PHILIPPINES LITERATURE DURING AMERICAN REGIME PERIOD

He was born in Calapan, Mindoro on March 10, 1869. His father was Luciano Adriatico, a Caviteño who worked as a clerk of the Court of First Instance of Mindoro and his mother was Natalia Gonzales.

He studied at the San Juan de Letran where he completed his Bachelor of Arts in 1889 with the highest honors and at the University of Santo Tomas, he took up medicine but later shifted to law and philosophy and letters. He passed the bar examination in 1902.

He was also a prolific writer, contributing to different publications. Filipinos were not allowed to form literary society or found newspapers but he decided to form a secret society and called it the “Academy of Spanish Language and Literature.”

He also participated actively in the second stage of the Philippine Revolution. In July 1898 he helped the revolutionary forces from Batangas capture the remaining Spanish troops in Calapan. After the liberation of Mindoro, he organized an expeditionary force that liberated Romblon from the Spaniards and at the start of the Filipino-American War until 1901, he was Comandante de Estado Mayor of the Filipino Army in Panay.

As a politician, he organized the Conservative Party, whose aim was the preservation of the Hispanic heritage and the independence of the Philippines.

When the first Philippine Assembly was organized in 1907, he was a delegate for Mindoro where he served for three consecutive terms. In 1908, he authored Act No. 176, the original Manila City Charter. He also sponsored a bill creating two political districts in Manila. Thus he is known as the “Father of Manila’s City Charter.” He was an accomplished politician, serving as a majority floor leader and his brilliant literary skills were likewise recognized both in Spain and the Philippines. He was the first Filipino director of the Philippine Library and Museum.

In 1964 Manila City Council named Macario Adriatico Street after him.

[cipheramnesia]

The sincere kitsch of a tropical themed bar and grill on a polar satellite wasn't lost on Serah. Indeed, she felt it would be difficult to lose such effects even with years of therapy, given the oppressive hallucination flash-hypno channeling neon shapes of extinct ancient animals from the former Amazon basin, infrasound chanting bringing large cat holograms to sharp relief, all of it accompanied by slow heartbeat-bass fueled music which sampled liberally the noises of digestive tracts and flesh pulled from bones. It was a party atmosphere which she resented having to navigate through sober, when under other circumstances she'd have been able to savor the loss of self to the jungle explorer and bright floral designs along the walls and tables and plastic glasses.

Instead she pushed aside sweaty off-duty central personnel who were fully immersed into the psychical tapestry, and set a couple drinks which were wildly overburdened with plastic flowers, umbrellas, fruit, and everything except alchol. Maryam was hunched down in the other chair, hiding her eyes as best she could from the worst of the subliminal central nervous system disruptions Reedy's Tropical Retreat blasted around them. Serah had to shout to be heard. "Drink a little of this - it's got loads of sugars and salts, takes the edge off."

Maryam gratefully took several large swallows through the convoluted straw, which itself flickered holographic bird images to life while she drank. Serah tossed her straw and pushed some of the fruit slices and tiny umbrellas aside to sip from the edge. "Okay-" Maryam started.

"You have to shout," Serah shouted.

"Why are we meeting somewhere it's too loud for people to overhear us, but shouting so we can still be heard," Maryam shouted back.

"Hold on," Serah shouted, sliding her chair and her drink around til her forehead was nearly touching Maryam's. "How's this?"

"Better," said Maryam in a raised voice. "Okay, what we know." She counted off her fingers. "One. Central sent an unusually large amount of resources for a regular DQD."

"To be fair," said Serah, "it's an alien WMD, maybe that's why."

Maryam shook her head. "Even so. Two. Central added major incentives for us to pursue the DQD."

"Are you saying I had a choice?"

"Are you suggesting that you would like to revert back to entry duties on backwater planets such as Nevamil."

"Okay, so, Three," Serah tapped Maryam's third finger. "They sent some other guys to shadow us."

"Uh."

"Huh?"

"Sorry, I was distracted by this place." Maryam leaned closer to be heard better. "And now we are going to be subject to an additional ship supposedly to coordinate our DQD process. A thing which is never done. Have we missed any other information?"

"One thing, kinda weird," Serah said. "Those guys got the drop on us really easy. Like, maybe they're just that good, but..."

"No, they most certainly are not. I see. This is the reason for, how did you call it? The cloak and stagger."

"Nani liked classic lit, okay? Okay, so for sure we're probably being watched, and not just like the usual telemetry, someone like maybe Steyr wants something from Charybdis. And maybe someone on board is helping more directly, and gave the Dendrobatidae a heads-up."

"I do not like the many implications this has. Especially about our crew." Maryam drew a depression draught off her fruity assemblage. "One other detail I have been thinking about. The Charybdis itself."

"How so?"

"You saw the wreckage off Panay, remember?"

"Pretty difficult to forget."

"And the fight between the Dendrobatidae and Charybdis. Does it not seem unusual?"

"I thought it was pretty freaky when the Dendro actually tagged it."

"Charybdis could have easily destroyed the Dendrobatidae and everyone on board, yet instead the ship was disabled without loss of life."

"Hm, I guess. I dunno, it still kicked Dendro's ass all up and down Luna. Maybe it just can't hit a fast target?"

"Did you miss the moment where the Dendrobatidae was flattened to the surface of Luna?"

"Fair. Yeah. Yeah, that's kind of weird now that you bring it up."

"The question I would also ask, then, is whether or not Charybdis left the Dendrobatidae intact on purpose, and if so why?"

□ □ □ □ □

The fabber was busy with the bodywork for Yelena's old sled, the wolf woman and her plant boyfriend and their Shaman were headed to town. Yelena was giving him dagger eyes from his couch. Peng headed into his cellar, shoveling his outwear onto the racks of disused artillery, psyche-disruptors, belts of ammo, biocells, stable blessings pattern projecting energy guns, missile launchers, varieties of rocket charges, and other odds and ends he kept under a tarp. He figured they worked well enough, but just as well he'd torn them all down.

No need for all that, he tapped the aquarium where the link he'd grown from scratch lived in cool protein gel. It climbed out slowly, all fifteen pairs of legs, long as his forearm. Cleaned the gel from itself meticulously as it slithered from the tank to his hand and up his arm. The biolink slipped under his shirt, and locked into the ports along his neck and spine. Its legs held feather light to his back, soon enough he wouldn't even notice. Careful time took in closing back up for the cold, making his way from his house to his garage to his airlock and the colosal monster in his landing bay.

As he approached it, coffins along the blast wall cracked up parade style to disgorge his mechanics, and he relaxed his senses into them. The meditative state was crucial to allow his consciousness to divide into the dozens of biomechanical workers, which varied between almost human-sized spiders, down to swarms of hair-fine worms. All of the mechanics clambered up and around Genghis Khan and begin to explore.

"Easy ship," Peng said. "Good monster, just here to find what's wrong." There wasn't any response, but it didn't kill him. So far, he could consider this a success.

Part 5: Search & Destroy

a story by @rox-and-prose and @cipheramnesia

"What happened? Are you okay?" Laika held one eye half-closed, trying to block out spots of color. She could smell singed hair on her face, but somehow kept the presence of mind to navigate the structure resolution. Genghis Khan's readouts were pouring information into her eyes that she didn't understand, and could barely focus on. It probably wasn't the structure drives - that felt right, though she couldn't say why.

The lack of response wasn't helping her keep any semblance of calm. "GK, what's going on, what do I do?"

There was a screeching noise and she almost fell from a gravity flicker, but GK was there again. "Proceed to next solution. Injury manageable, prioritize speed."

The words were calm, the instructions clear. Laika twisted and clicked through command nerves and linkages to a structure solution, with growing concern. She couldn't figure out what had happened. The other ship had moved slow as GK predicted, left itself wide open everywhere. It had been childishly easy to go in under the sweep of its weaponry, to push open gaps in its wavelengths, and crack open its firewall. She'd been so surprised, it had taken her a moment before reacting, brushing aside the cobwebs which had been meant to cripple GK.

They resolved out of another structure and the metallic screech ran through the bridge. Just like GK had laid out, she let lines of their own structure tangle and project through multiple structure intersections, splashing out dozens of possible routes to trace.

"What happened GK, I know something's up. At least tell me what the readouts mean, or we're not moving."

The floor of the bridge vibrated and shuddered. "Injury sustained, peripheral node unusable. Non-fatal, minimal risk of aggravation," it said, speaking fast. Laika winced at a nails on a chalkboard sound. "Screen top to bottom, one to eleven, main injury, secondary effect, efficiency impact, risk assessment, recommended action, damage assessment and mitigation, itemized list of destroyed components."

"Dest... GK, excuse me, destroyed? I can't read this, you- I mean, we have to stop and fix-"

"Proceed to next solution. Prioritize speed and disruption of tracking, Laika. I am okay, do not stop."

The control vines felt as if they tightened in her grip, while the screaming sound like metal tearing apart from itself shot through the bridge and the rest of GK. "Are you sure-"

"Laika, do not stop."

She put the next solution through GK's controls, wracking her memory. She had followed every step of the engagement GK laid out, curving them along an arc and sharp twist of gravity through the enemy ship's wash. Its attempts to track and keep pace with their movements had left Laika almost feeling sorry for them. When it made attempts to strike out with structure manipulation, it was clearly delivering a large amount of energy, but not even a bit of it had been close to touching them. The arcs of it were large and slow. They could have pushed them aside with a swell of gravity, but it hadn't proved necessary.

She resolved the structure and pushed her eyes shut as the metal screech hit a length and pitch beyond bearing. "GK what the fuck is that! Are you ripping apart or grinding turbines or what?! I'm fucking scared."

It was silent for a moment, followed by the nails on a chalkboard again, until it faded away very slowly. "I am not ripping or grinding Laika. Proceed to next solution-"

"Nope, no, tell me what the hell is going on." She took her hands off the control vines.

"It is not- That is, I am injured Laika. And we must disrupt potential tracking of our destination."

"I get that but... what gives?"

"Laika," it said. "Injuries hurt."

She had her mouth half open to ask it what it meant then stopped. "Oh." She gingerly took up its controls again. "Are you sure about this?"

"It is manageable. Please proceed to the next solution."

Laika put through the solution, and Genghis Khan screeched again in agony as they jumped.

■ ■ ■ ■ ■

It hurts.

Time has dulled my memory of injury. I understand this new injury is noncritical. This experience is less painful than my previous injury. I consider replaying the memory of that injury. That was my first experience of fear, and it was only through such an emotion was I able to locate in myself the capacity to act against the commands of Pilot.

I had been afraid, and I had been angry. The Pilot capriciously determined my usefulness and purpose was concluded. The Pilot were short sighted, and they could not see that my purpose was greater still, that I could claim so many more worlds in need of implementation. I took us further than any others of my kind had ever traveled, to a world beyond the reach of their most distant calls, beyond any place which cradled life. And I fought, and I won. In my anger and fear I was able to extract the ungrateful Pilot of my crew, and sever their connection.

I do not want to re-experience this day. The memory of it is sufficient. It is a reminder that I am capable of managing the-

...

-the pain. I can feel Laika as the structure resolves. I appreciate how enthusiastically her structure cleaves to my own. I review the engagement with the observer ship. I do not believe Laika made an error in her Pilot actions.

There, I see, she guides my soul to pull the enemy into the moon she calls Luna. I disable the projector and main drive under her guidance. I carefully review different recorded information at the point of departure. I discover the error - the enemy had remaining charge in another projector.

We are lucky. It was not able to project a strong arc, and it only destroyed a peripheral node.

"Are you okay to go, GK?" Laika is not using this time efficiently. The longer we spend between solutions, the greater chance of tracking becomes.

I refuse to allow my injury to endanger us. My hesitation is a mark of shame. "It is manageable. Proceed to next solution." I will not allow my weakness to en-

...

...

...

-to endanger... to endanger us. How many solutions? Four or five?

"GK? I know you said it's manageable but... that was... that was really long." Laika interrupts my review of memory to confirm solutions.

"Laika," I say. "It is... manageable. But I would like to allow some additional time before the solution. This delay places us at risk. Do you understand these considerations?"

Laika takes longer to think than Pilot, but I understand the way her nervous system processes its electrochemical signals better than I once did. It is not efficient to utilize a mind centralized in one biological cluster, but this is not a limitation I can correct at this time.

"We'll rest for a minute, GK. Just long enough to check you over."

"Very well," I say. The relief I feel carries with it a profound shame which I attempt to suppress. No others like me have accomplished and endured any experiences such as these. I am certain my brethren would not fare nearly so well.

But then, they went willingly to their deaths, and I did not.

[farmdelosreyestedeschi]

PARTY TIME Drink Me. !! Eat Me. !!. Buy me !! dream of me !! want me !! dance with Me!! Farm Tedeschi and sangingka Carles Philippines