#partially because she wants to lose weight

[sonknuxadow]

Idk if you've already gotten to the point where it shows up or not, but there's one line from her that (probably unintentionally) implies she has an eating disorder, which is really messed up

the way i just looked up from the game to go "why the hell are they putting so much emphasis on amy wanting to lose weight" and saw this ask

[healingheartdogs]

It's so funny looking on my patient portal for my doctors and seeing "patient looks well nourished" on all my visit summaries when it is documented by my blood work that I am, in fact, very much NOT well nourished and have been prescribed multiple high dose supplements now to make up for how malnourished I actually am.

[yoshistory]

its also interesting cause Hope always had a chronic vomiting issue her whole life which vets could not figure out and basically said "sometimes cats are just vomiters" and when i first moved in with my roommate, she got a LOT better (1nce a month vomit instead of daily), but it came back overtime. now that my roommate's gone... she's literally only vomited once this week

[leaawrites]

Read to me

Percy Jackson x fem!reader

Summary: in a world full of monsters, Percy just wants to protect his girlfriend.

Warnings: mentions of rainstorms, mentions of threats, self doubt, angst, fluff

Wordcount: 0.8k

Masterlist

The night started off with soft rain falling from the sky on the top of the beach house. Montauk. It started quiet and not threatening. Being the Son of Poseidon it shouldn’t make him lay away at night in fear of the storm outside, right? He shouldn’t fear it. But since the dreams got heavier and he finally had something - someone to lose, it felt all a bit more threatening. His life was now not only weighting him down - threatening him - but also her. The girl in his arms that was unaware of everything that happened during summer.

He felt bad for not spending the holiday with her, but she also couldn’t accompany him. Being left to wonder what he was doing there. She knew Grover already and she listened to Percy talk about his friends there - like Annabeth, a girl he mentioned one time too much in her opinion (but she would never actually say that to him) or Tyson. She knew about the lake that was there and capture the flag, but everything else was a mystery to her.

“Why are you still awake?” Y/n asked, waking up in the middle of the night from her boyfriend shaking in fear of a lightning and thunder.

It wasn’t the first time they have slept in the same bed, often doing sleepovers on the weekends. And it definitely wasn’t the first time she woke up because of him. But when she asked for the reason it was always the same.

“Just a bad dream,” Percy muttered, rubbing her arm gently to assure her that it was all fine.

“Percy,” she said, pushing him further than before. Mostly she would just let it go, nod and give him a kiss before snuggling back into his side and fall asleep again. Assuring him that he was safe was her. But he feared that she wasn’t safe with him.

“What are you dreaming about?”

The questioned lingered on her mind for longer already but she finally spoke the words. She needed answers. Not just lame excuses as to why he had scratches down his skin or why he always carried a pen with him when he never even used it.

She needed answers and he knew that, but could he give them to her so easily without putting her in danger? He couldn’t, so what would he give her? What could he give her?

“You,” he answered. Y/n looked at him confused, leaning on her arms to look at him properly. Her fingers moving through his hair. “It’s always you and it never ends good. I don’t want whatever happens in my mind happen in reality too.”

“It won’t,” she assured him, laying her head in the crook of his neck, planting small kisses on his skin.

“What if it will?” He couldn’t keep the possibility of it all away from his mind. He couldn’t block out the pictures he saw when closing his eyes.

“They’re just dreams, Percy,” she said again.

“Maybe they’re not,” he argued back.

“Dreams can’t hurt you.” She took his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her. “I’m here. I’m fine. And as long as I’m with you I will be.”

Silence filled the room. She was right, partially. As long as she was with him nothing would happen to her. He was able to protect her, fight whatever would threaten her.

“Can you read to me?”

Y/n looked at him surprised but nodded nonetheless. Climbing out from under the covers to grab the book, which she would be reading to him whenever he asked, from her bag. The Odyssey. She was confused and taken back when he asked her the first time, taking the book from her shelve and telling her about his interest for Greek Mythology. That was the first night he stayed over at hers. Listening to her read the words written on the pages for him to better understand them.

Saving herself from the cold again by laying back down next to him, Percy rested his head on her chest like he always did. Her hand found it’s way into his hair and gently playing with a few strands. Percy would ask some questions about who was who again sometimes, making her giggle in embarrassment when she didn’t know herself and then they would try and recite which characters they still knew had which part in the story.

The thunder still followed the bright streak of light closely behind but it got less and when she felt him finally relax against her fully and she turned off the light all which was left was soft rain. Kissing the top of his head, she closed her own eyes, falling back into a deep slumber surrounded with her own dreams of him.

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

So many lonely people on Kaiju No. 8 had found companionship with Kafka.

He's the personification of support. A senpai, a role model, a hero, a friend, a cadet, a reliable worker, even a crush. He's someone you can trust and someone that wants to be there for you. Even the comedy relief guy or the saviour of the day!!

In the latest manga chapters he was a plushie for a little girl.

There's Reno who lost his entire family. Kafka took the role of the senpai with him: guide and teach the guy, talk with him, show him how to survive and inspire him. Reno met a genuinely good guy that was openly offering his help and friendship, so he went back to thank him and do the same. Hey, your dream is not over, Reno said. What did he get in return? Kafka sacrificing his life for him, telling him to run, giving up the most important thing in his life for Reno.

There's Mina, who is terrified of being alone. She found a personal clown in Kafka, yes, but he was also the boy who helped her keep her hope and made things easier. He would always go with her to the shelter during a kaiju attack, even if he was in another school. He told her she didn't have to kill kaijus all alone. He promised to be by her side. Mina was thrown into a world of giant burdens and expectations, where her failures could mean death and destruction. Kafka saw her not as the weapon she was, but as Mina.

Hoshina was constantly disrespected, overlooked and ignored. He gave Kafka a chance because he reminded Hoshina of himself. For his troubles, Hoshina got a guy that would work hard to reach his expectations, that would rival him, that would call him first thing and spend all that time worried and would apologize before turning into a kaiju to save their lives. Kafka became a friend of sorts to Hoshina through hard work and respect.

Kikoru was used to all types of reactions from the people around her, but not to the level of worry and pride and trust Kafka gave her. It was not for show, he was completely open and sincere in his feelings. Kikoru you're an asshole, Kikoru you're amazing, Kikoru pleaseeee take care of yourself, Kikoru I won't disappoint you, Kikoru you have my permission and gratitude if you kill me if I ever lose control, Kikoru I trust you to finish this battle.

The first thing Kafka did during the second part of the recruitment was support Aoi and Haruichi during their subjugation of a kaiju.

He saved Minase's life by partially turning and risking his life for it. He saved Iharu and Reno that day against No. 9.

Narumi told Kafka that only they knew the weight of the burden they carried for being there the day Isao Shinomiya was killed. Freaking Narumi, who wouldn't share that burden with anyone else.

Like it was noted by his boss while he was still part of the Cleaning Corps, Kafka would do his job after complaining, but he'd do it perfectly and do it again if asked to.

He's reliable. I know I said it before, but he is.

In a world where anyone can die any minute, in the Kaiju Country, Kafka is a presence you don't want to vanish. It's what Mina says: everything is easier with him around, anything is possible.

When in the first chapters Kafka tells the little girl to not be afraid because he'll go and everything will be okay— the girl thanks him. In the anime, the little girl even asks Mina to please not hurt the good kaiju. Once people have met him, they don't want him to go. They'd do anything for him not to go, not to die. When Kikoru saw him losing control and remembered her promise, she decided that she'd rather believe in him 'til the end. When Isao was about to disappear, he thought about Kafka and said he'd leave things up to him too.

Isn't that what it means to be a hero? To be able to say "leave it up to me" but also trust others to help you when you need it? Inspire people to support you because you supported them first?

The only thing scarier than the kaijus is to be left alone in the world— and Kafka fights that.

[signedkoko]

Hi hi!

How would Striker, Bee, and poly Stolitz (romantic) react to their chubby s/o being very physically strong and working out a lot?

No pressure to write this, and If you don't write for this many characters, you can choose who to focus on!

Sending lots of love your way 💚💛💙

-🐻

Beelzebub | Blitzo & Stolas | Striker [Romantic]

In which you are considerably physically stronger than them, and work out plenty to match.

Naturally, all of the sins are extremely strong in comparison to any overlord or sinner

Even so, you were surprisingly up there, without her magic Beelzebub couldn't begin to carry half the weight you did, and usually had to resort to her larger form- or just asking for your help

It's part of why she found you so attractive, it felt like in some way you could protect her more than anyone she knew

A lot of the people around her were already small, so it was also nice that you compared to her in size, though she found you to be much more curvaceous than her own lanky figure

" Ugh. I'd kill for hips like these, babe. "

She loves to feel you up and down and hold you close because god, you are just sooo comfortable

And when you flex your muscles it drives her crazy! She thinks you're the hottest person she's ever met

She also may be partially to blame for your chubbiness, because she never stops feeding you sweets, oops!

Both of these fools are physically WEAK, however strong they might be with guns or magic

They recall their first encounter with you was when someone was making fun of Stolas for dating an imp, and you totally rocked their shit with a punch straight to the face

Blitzo is already on you, asking so many questions about who you were, why you did that, making jokes

And Stolas has a faint blush because god, that was so attractive

They kept inviting you over until eventually you were closer than most- present on every date, called by the same sweet nicknames

Stolas likes to go with you when you work out, he especially loves to see you boxing

Being able to cheer you on against an opponent, or imagine you protecting him- oh it was just so exciting

Blitzo enjoys walking around hell with you because he gets to see everyone fuck off

Scary dog privileges

Stolas is always squishing your cheeks and hugging you tightly while speaking of all his fantasies involving you both

Blitzo is sneaking pictures of you after workouts for his office

Stronger? Than him? Sure thing

Striker first heard it at a place he frequented for drinks, that there was a guard for hire poster put up on their bulletin, someone new

When he hired you to see what'd happen, you sweeped the floor of some royals security team in minutes, and all he had to do was pull the trigger

Admittedly, he didn't feel the need to work with you more than that, as he enjoyed the hunt as much as the kill

But it was certainly fun seeing what someone else pulled

He’s straightforward about that, but also admits that he'd like to keep in touch

OBVIOUSLY so he can hire you on tougher missions, not because he thought you were interesting or fun

Suddenly, he's always popping up in the places you go, always offering you a drink, always getting tipsy enough to invite you to dance

Oh yeah, he certainly wants you

Fortunately for him, you're his lovely significant other only a few weeks later

He enjoys practising sparing with you, though he usually loses with just strength to strength, hsi wits certainly make him a tougher opponent

Striker find your resolve fiery, and something about you ignites something in him that leaves him wanting more

Author's Note - Actually love these guys sm... good crew you chose bear non I respect it!

Also I CATCH all the love you sent my way and EAT IT 🖤

[carolperkinsexgirlfriend]

Steddie Upside-Down AU Part 86

Part 1 Part 85

Eddie’s going to come out of this whole thing with a bald patch. He can’t stop pulling at the ends of his hair, feeling the sharp tug on his roots, the snap of the few hairs that can’t withstand the onslaught.

They’re all just sitting here, resting on their laurels like Steve isn’t slipping further away with every wasted second.  

There’s enough frenetic energy running through Eddie to make him want to get out of the van, pace the length of the Byers driveway like a tiger in a cage. But Steve’s bound and blindfolded in the van, and the thought of taking his eyes off what little he can see of Steve’s face makes bile rise in his throat.

There’s not much else for his stomach to dredge up. He can’t remember the last time any of them ate.

So, he sits on his heels. And he waits, feet going numb beneath the weight of his thighs.

This is all becoming horribly familiar. They’re even at the Byers house again, Eddie losing his mind by inches, Steve gone.

It’s not fair. Even through all of this, no one’s priority is ever Steve, first. Steve, only. Even when it should be. No one except Eddie. 

Will’s still curled into his side, looking up at Steve with that same desperate need, though. So maybe it’s not just him. They’re an island of three, always.

Eddie can live with that, will gladly subsist only to give these two his devout devotions. If Steve will just come back to them.

Eddie’s ready to scoop up Baby Byers in one arm, Steve in the other, and flee state lines if it means he gets to keep them.

Mama Byers likes him too much to let the kidnapping charges stick.

But Steve’s still gone, even as he sits placidly in front of them. So, he waits like a good boy. 

For Carol fucking Perkins of all people. It’s like the Upside-Down is determined to scoop up all his sworn enemies and drag them into the clusterfuck right alongside him. First Nancy, now Carol. What’s next? Billy fucking Hargrove? Where does it all end?

Eddie yanks his hair again, feels a few more hairs snap. He drops them on the floor of the van, mind spinning off into DNA, and fingerprints, and all the things the shady government spooks could pin on him with those few loose hairs.

He pulls out a few more.

Barb’s usually an annoyingly safe and slow driver, but she must have hauled ass because her tires are skidding into the driveway well before he would have expected her to be. She stops abruptly enough that gravel kicks up around her car, tires digging grooves into the dirt beneath it.

The kids tumble out of the backseat, dirty but intact. Eddie can’t help the way his eyes stray from Mike, to Lucas, to Max, to Dustin, cataloging each of the rips and smudges along their bodies, looking for scrapes and injuries underneath.

The knee of Mike’s jeans is suspiciously ripped and bloody, like he’d taken a tumble on cement, but everyone else looks fine.

When Carol slides out, she looks decidedly less fine. Her preppy outfit’s streaked with dirt and grim, her usual blow-out hair-do caked with something suspiciously dark and viscus. Most damningly, she’s got a baseball bat clutched in her manicured hand, ready to take a swing, and are those nails? Is that blood on them?

Whatever it is, it’s not human. It’s so dark, it’s almost black, even in the overcast light of the afternoon.

Barb’s less disheveled, but there’s a smudge of the black liquid on her glasses, like it’d splattered across her face, and she’d only partially cleaned it up.

It’s seeing it there, that makes it click. It’s the same color as the Demogorgon’s blood had been when it had been painted across Steve’s face that time they’d thought it was a good idea to trap one.  

Will jumps out, running up to Mike, and Dustin, and Lucus. It’s another reenactment of last year, the reunion just as fierce and life-affirming. Even if this time it’s only been a couple days since they last saw each other. Near death experiences will do that to a kid. Even Max gets pulled into the mess, arms around backs, heads tucked into shoulders.

Eddie barely sees it, too focused on Barb’s glasses, brain making connections between black blood, and Demogorgon’s and Demo-dogs, and the way the soldiers had screamed beneath the earth as they’d left them to die.

Eddie follows Will out of the van. He’s pulled into his own hug, Barb’s arms warm and shaking as they wrap around him. His hands hang down awkwardly, trapped by his sides by her hold. She drops him but stays huddled close.

“I’m never going to get used to this,” she sighs, eyes trained on the kids all surrounded together, all talking at the same time, clearly trying to fill in Will whose bemusement only grows on his face.

Eddie laughs, sharp and unhinged before he clamps his lips together to cut it off. “You don’t know the half of it,” he says. He can feel Steve in the van, still, wants to turn back and get him in his sights again.

Perkins steps in his path before he can. “Monsters, Munson?” she demands. Up close, Eddie can see the way her fingers are white around the baseball bat, the way the blood’s congealing around the rusted nails. Even at five foot nothing, she paints an imposing figure with that clutched in her hand. “You were all hiding fucking monsters?”

Eddie grimaces. “You told her?” he murmurs out of the corner of his mouth to Barb. 

Perkins rolls her eyes, clearly having heard him. “She kind of had to when those fucking things cornered us!” 

He’s getting really tired of so many of the things in his life having to be classified as ‘things.’ Still, he can picture their gaping maws, the way they’d open up like flowers in bloom just from the horror peeking out behind the indignation in Perkins face. This is going to upset Steve when he gets back.

“Why the hell were you even there?” Eddie demands, pointing a finger in her face. He drops it when the hand holding the bat shakes, bringing it closer to his hand.

“Blame that one!” she snarls, pointing at Dustin like he’s gum on the bottom of her shoe. “I could’ve gone my whole life without seeing one of those fucking whatever-dogs!” 

“Same,” Barb murmurs, shriveling up with disgust. 

Perkins doesn’t even look her way, but she still stands shoulder to shoulder, somehow made into a united front within a day. Eddie shouldn’t be surprised: the Upside-Down makes for surprising bedfellows. 

He’d done the same thing, trapped in a hell dimension with Steve Harrington of all people. Steve Harrington who’d made him laugh, and shared his bed, and saved his life. Steve Harrington who’s bleeding out of himself to make room for something else.

“Where is Steve anyway?” Perkins asks, like she could hear his train of thought. “He’s got a lot of explaining to do.”

Eddie can’t help the way his gaze darts toward Steve. It’s like asking someone not to look at a shooting star darting across the sky, or a lighthouse in a storm, or a compass pointing your way home. He can’t help it, and maybe Perkins can’t help the way she storms over to the van, either. 

“What the fuck?” she says, less a question than an exclamation of shock as she takes in Steve’s state.

Eddie knows what she’s seeing – her friend’s washed-out face, obscured by Wayne’s flannel, and Will’s headphones, tied tightly by every seatbelt Wayne could reach without moving Steve. He knows what conclusions she’s drawing in her twisted little head as she rushes into the van and knee walks over to her reported best friend.

Eddie’s “wait, no!” is drowned out by similar sentiments from Will and Wayne and Mama Byers. None of it makes a difference. It’s too late.

“Steve?” Perkins says, and there’s the sound of her bat thunking into the ground, and then an ominous rustling. Eddie doesn’t wait to see what happens next. He bolts to the van, Wayne right behind him. “Are you okay? What’s going on?”

She sounds desperate enough that Eddie can’t even blame her for what she’s done. But that doesn’t change the fact that Steve’s dull eyes are uncovered, and he’s looking past all of them, through the open door and out onto the street. The flannel and headphones are both discarded on the floor as Perkins clutches on Steve’s shoulders, shaking him like that will get him to meet her eyes. 

Steve’s been here dozens of times, sitting passenger side in Eddie’s van and drumming his fingers on the dashboard 

“Code fucking red!” Eddie calls, head shaking at the force of his yell. “They know where we are!”

Wayne sighs, long and heavy the way he does when he’s sinking into his armchair after a long shift. All the kids are shouting over each other, demanding answers to questions Eddie can’t even hear. Perkins is staring at him like he’s insane, but Barb’s drooping where she stands. She’s been in this long enough to know what a code red means, even if she’s lacking all the necessary context.

Wayne straightens, back cracking as he claps once to get everyone to shut up. “Kids in the house!” he calls, talking louder when the inevitable protests come from that corner of the driveway. “Now!”

Wayne doesn’t yell, ever. Hearing his voice raise, angry and loud, makes Eddie flinch back, shoulder hitting Perkins where she’s kneeling. It does the job, though. The kids scurry into the house while Wayne surveys the remaining group of four, eyes skipping over Steve’s blinking eyes. 

“You any good with that bat?” Wayne asks.

Perkins eyebrow is furrowed, but she opens her mouth to answer. Barb beats her to it. “I’m better.”

Wayne picks it up from the ground and hands it over to her. They all know by now that she knows better than to mislead them at a time like this. Barb clutches it between her hands, straight-backed and feet planted, like she’s ready to swing. 

“Joyce, go stay with the kids.” 

Mama Byers shuffles her feet, looking back at her house, but doesn’t leave. “Shouldn’t we stay together?”

“We can’t untie Harrington here,” Wayne replies. “And there’s no time to go somewhere else.”

As if to punctuate his point, there’s a familiar hungry growl, pettering off into a howl. The howl echoes off the walls of the sky, cutting in and out. Static. Reverb. The Upside-Down is calling and Eddie doesn’t want to pick up the phone.

Mama Byers runs, full tilt toward the house. Eddie hopes she makes it, can’t see her past the lip of the open door of the van. He hopes she’s got a gun in there, hopes she hands out butcher knives to too-small fingers and they all stand back-to-back-to-back. He hopes None of those things make it past Barb’s bat.

Wayne rushes to the glove compartment, limping on his bad hip with his haste as he digs around. He comes out with a gun, polished and sleek, and clearly one of the dead soldiers. Eddie hopes it’s loaded. 

He stands behind Barb, blocking the open door with his body, gun raised and pointing toward the staticky sound of dogs growling. 

“Close the door, Ed.” He doesn’t turn away from the threat, even as he says, “Love you.”

Eddie hiccups, something wretched and sharp boiling out of him. He wants to stand at his Uncle’s side, but his hands are fleshy and empty. Perkins is hyperventilating behind him and Steve’s not saying anything at all.

He closes the door.

He crouches in front of them both, blocking the closed door, ready to play a fleshy, second door should the first one fail. 

There’s the sound of a gunshot, the wet thwack of a nail-covered bat meeting malleable flesh, then glass shattering all around him.

He raises his hand and closes his eyes reflexively as it rains down onto his face, into his hair. Something cold and meaty lands on his lap. 

He opens his eyes.

It’s just like he imagined: paws and tail and hairless body. A petaled mouth that droops open, razor-sharp teeth glinting threateningly even in death. 

He pushes it off, scrambling back and away from the dead thing that still somehow looks like it wants to kill him, heedless of the broken glass making mincemeat of his palms.  

Eddie backs into Perkins, tries to keep crawling away until she grabs his shoulder, squeezes hard as she peers over his shoulder into the silence of the day. 

He can see Wayne, still standing, Barb at his side, gorey bat raised. Had they won? A bat and a gun, and they’d won?

But, then there’s a new face, peering up through the broken window. Her eyes are solemn, but she smiles when she meets his eyes, short curls atop her head bobbing as she waves at him.

“Supergirl?”

Part 87

Taglist: @deany-baby @estrellami-1 @altocumulustranslucidus @evillittleguy @carlprocastinator1000 @hallucinatedjosten @goodolefashionedloverboi @newtstabber @lunabyrd @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @manda-panda-monium @disrespectedgoatman @finntheehumaneater @ive-been-bamboozled @harringrieve @grimmfitzz @is-emily-real @dontstealmycake @angeldreamsoffanfic @a-couchpotato @5ammi90 @mac-attack19 @genderless-spoon @kas-eddie-munson @louismeds @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @pansexuality-activated @ellietheasexylibrarian @nebulainajar @mightbeasleep @neonfruitbowl @beth--b @silenzioperso @best-selling-show @v3lv3tf0x @bookworm0690 @paintsplatteredandimperfect @wonderland-girl143-blog @nerdsconquerall @sharingisntkaren @canmargesimpson @bananahoneycomb

[mvltisstuff]

What about a fic where reader is a rookie cop and Athena is her training officer. She’s also dating Eddie. She gets shot in the vest so the 118 comes and takes her to the hospital so they can do X-rays to make sure she doesn’t have any broken ribs and then Eddie takes her home and makes her relax and helps her ice her massive bruise.

love. - e.d

summary: request

eddie diaz x reader

a/n: i love this idea!!

eddie sees athena walk into the firehouse, her hand on her waist and the other on the back of her neck. her face had a blank expression, and eddie has seen this look before. you know, when you’re about to tell someone shitty news. or that their life is about to be flipped upside down. the sergeant’s contained a look of pity mixed in with her own sadness as well.

flashes of y/n’s name and face, as well as the sounds of her voice came rushing over eddie. she’s new to the job, but she’s really good. having athena training her and giving her important tips was one of the best advantages you could have in the police system.

along with the courage of the job came the dangers. guns and fights and tasers. you never know what someone has hiding in their belt and where they might be headed. y/n makes the world a better place, and eddie feels nothing but proud when she shows up in her uniform.

the thought of her not coming home to him scared the living daylights out of him. he’s lost too many people, and he would lose himself if he wasn’t able to save her.

“diaz,” athena tries to start.

“where is she?” eddie spits out.

“the hospital. she got shot, but she had on the vest,” eddie sighs and rubs his face in partial relief, but also knowing that this is not best case scenario. “they’re taking her for x-rays. but she’s in good spirits.”

“she’s always in good spirits, thats why i love her,” says eddie. “god, grant, when you walked in here i thought she was going to be dead or close to it.”

“honey, i wouldn’t be able to be here if she was. she saved everyone’s life out there today. who knows what that gunman could’ve pulled.”

eddie blinks away his light tears. eddie almost refuses to let anyone see him cry, but she is his weak spot. anything that hurts her, it hurts him, too. thinking about a life without her was intolerable.

“i need to see her but,” eddie says, beginning to walk away in the middle of his shift.

“i spoke to bobby, he’s letting you out early,” athena informs. eddie thanks her, and sprints out to his car, ignoring the comments from his coworkers.

the gas pedal in his truck was almost completely weighted down. his eyes darted to each exit, taking the closest one to the hospital that had his one true love inside.

as soon as he hit the doors of the hospital, it’s almost like he forgot elevators existed. he jogged through the halls, finding y/n’s room. he knew she would be ok, but he wasn’t ok until he saw her for himself.

the second he saw her, his tensed up body had begun to calm down. her face didn’t have a pained expression or anything. she looked so alive and safe and eddie just wanted to take her into his arms.

he skipped into the room, and her face lit up when seeing him. “hey, mrs bulletproof,” eddie says, walking over with his hands in his pockets. he’s pretending like his heart wasn’t about to fall out of his ass.

“hey,” y/n says softly.

“how are you feeling?”

“i’m good, no broken ribs or anything. just this gnarly bruise,” y/n lifts up her shirt to reveal the purple and red skin of her fresh bruise. eddie hisses when looking at it before sitting next to her. he might be putting on an act, a fearless one. y/n is able to see right through it. “eddie.”

he looks up at her, meeting his eyes with hers. his eyes were starting to water because he is so used to the worst case.

“oh, eddie. come here,” she says, pulling him into a warm embrace to give him some comfort. eddie has built up a ton of walls. hiding himself from his own emotions and definitely concealing them from everyone around him. the world around him sees him as just a strong, tough guy. y/n was the first person to realize that he is more than that. everything he feels is validated by her, and he’s so much more fragile than what everyone sees. “it knocked the wind out of me, that’s all.”

“but what if the vest was off? he could’ve gotten you at any time,” all of the ‘ what if’s’ are speeding through eddie’s brain.

“you think i haven’t thought about that? every single day i get out there and know i saved someone’s life. you do the same exact thing. and i worry about you so much… god, it feels like my chest will explode. the second i heard that gunshot i thought about you. but all i had at that moment was the fact that i saved someone’s life today.”

“because you’re a hero,” eddie says.

“no, because we are heroes. that’s what gets me through every day when i worry about you and i. you saved me when i needed saving and i will forever do the same for you.”

eddie sighs, and his body relaxes along with his features. he puts out his hand for y/n to hold onto. “¿para siempre?”

y/n smiles once again and nods, grabbing his hand and leaving a kiss on it. “para siempre.”

y/n was on the couch in eddie’s home, sitting next to christopher. eddie had brought in some popcorn for everyone and placed the bowl on the table in front of them. christopher had dug in immediately, and eddie pulled up the hem of y/n’s shirt. “i couldn’t find any ice packs, somehow.”

he places a frozen bag of peas and carrots onto her injured ribcage as she winced at the pressure. he quickly apologized and leaves it down on the bruise that was changing color every day.

eddie had not left her side, icing her bruise and doing everything for her. he constantly protested whenever she would try to get up and move herself. she may as well have been put on bed rest due to his actions. she tried to argue back, but ultimately failed in the end. she would be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy it at least a little bit. she’s a very independent person, which eddie admires about her character, but they both secretly love it when they get to care for each other. he stayed with her through the night, clearing out the bad dreams and thoughts in her head. being a rookie, she was still shaken up by the thought of what happened. eddie was there to ease her mind and bring her back down to earth.

after carrying christopher’s sleeping self to his bed and tucking him in, eddie helped y/n stand up and walk over to their bedroom. he climbs into the bed next to her, laying on his side and brushing her hair behind her ears.

“i’m so lucky i found you, and i’m even luckier that you’re here with me.”

she sleepily grins with her eyes shut before whispering out the three little words that mean so much.

[alittledizzy]

this a big ask and feel free to ignore but you seem like the right person to come to.

can you give like a dnf overview for those of us who know almost nothing but are sooo curious (minecraft? face reveal? queer?)(i follow for dnp lol)

Okay so... I'm gonna try and do a bullet point overview and for the purpose of not getting in the weeds I am not going into the controversies. I'll be happy to discuss that part - OFF anon.

Dream and George met on a Minecraft server when Dream was 16, George was 18/19 and became best friends.

When Dream decided to start youtube when he was 18, he asked George (and Sapnap) to come along with him. They both said yes.

In 2019, George started talking about moving to America. At the time Dream lived with his girlfriend, though they broke up by 2020. (George and the girlfriend did not get along. But that's also a whole other can of worms because she fucked Dream up pretty badly with consistent cheating and verbal/physical abuse.)

Plans for George to move to the US got more concrete and at some point over 2021 became him moving into a house with Dream and Sapnap.

Dream also came out multiple times in this general period of time. He came out in a post on reddit, on twitter, and on a stream. He does not explicitly state that he's bisexual, but he does explicitly state he isn't straight.

Sapnap had already moved in with Dream for Dream's protection since he was being swatted pretty regularly. Dream had plans for a face reveal but people were stalking and harassing him both to 'reveal' him and also because at this point the Kiwi Farms targeted attack on him had gained a lot of steam.

Speaking of: George used face cam pretty regularly, but Dream did not face reveal. Based on things he's said it seems pretty clear he was trying to lose weight but at some point set the goal of face revealing once George was in America because he wanted George to see his face before anyone else.

George applied for his Visa and would have had about a 6-9 month wait, and then was denied. He had to apply a second time, and wait another extended period of time, which put it September 2022 when his visa finally was approved. This means they'd known each other for seven years and he'd been trying to move to the US to live with Dream for three years at that point.

George arrived in the US and Dream posted his first video with a face camera on. George posted a vlog meeting Dream irl for the first time, which is a great starting point for a watch.

In terms of the ship stuff: they've always had a heavily flirtatious relationship and Dream is open about how attractive he finds George. They've acknowledging having a conversation about if they'd date or not.

Once in a while Dream will reiterate that they're not dating, and we know he spent 2023 having a variety of hookups but no confirmed relationships. (Which lines up with his long history of women that flirt with him complaining he'll be great to them and make them feel good but always says he doesn't want a relationship.)

2023 was pretty wild for them in terms of nonstop travel, events, and making very little content besides Dream's music. So far in 2024 we've seen a complete 180 of that and Dream and George have noy traveled at all, staying at home in Orlando together. (Sapnap has traveled and spent time in LA, but alone.)

This is partially due to controversy, I'm sure, but also seems to be just in line with a rededicating of themselves to Minecraft and content impending. They're working on a project that hopefully will come out soon.

Right now in terms of what they've publicly told us, they're just in the category of Super Not Normal About Each Other. Here are a few of the Not Normal things that are just fun from a shippy pov:

Before George moved, they were open about living most of their life on a call together. This includes sleep calling and staying on the phone while taking showers.

One of Dream's early videos was gifting his friends money to thank them for supporting him. He gave Sapnap and another friend $500 each. He gave George $5000.

Dream took 'am I in love with my best friend' quizzes on stream twice with George on the call and neither treated it quite like a joke.

Dream sent George an oversized Dream hoodie which George has worn repeatedly and even admitted to spraying with cologne before he'd put it on. Dream took pictures of George in the hoodie (a private call, not one fans were in on) and then later shared them saying they were the cutest pictures of George ever.

The first time we really got to see them interact irl at length was a stream they did around Christmas. Here's a supercut that just really shows the vibe between them.

Initially in late 2022 Dream was wearing a very specific chain. At some point in January 2023, George started wearing that chain (the specific one Dream used to wear) and has not been spotted without it since.

At one of his concerts Dream described George as a friend he just met a year ago that he's so in love with.

The entire song Spotlight which everyone immediately associated with George, to George's embarrassment and pride.

And there's obviously way more... but I feel like this is a good starter kit for Them.

[holderoftheg-r-a-i-l]

giant mechs hc dump under the cut. some are silly, and some are. very sad.

- some times someone will ask Ivy a question and instead of her voice they get a text-to-speech voice because the info is from a data download instead of her reading it

- Jonny sleeps with a weighted blanket. if he is sleeping in the same bed with someone, they will usually roll him up in the weighted blanket because if they do not, they will get kicked in the face from his flailing

- Marius spends a lot of time in the cockpit with Brian. Partially because he's fascinated with the control panels (he only knows what a few of the buttons do) but also because Brian tends to hum while he drives and it's calming.

- Raph keeps a catelogue of plants & substances from every system they visit. Ivy helps her categorize them. when they leave a system often the two of them can be exclusively found in the labs or library for several days as they sort & label plants, drugs, ect

- Tim has spent a lot of time studying whatever notes he can cipher out of Dr Carmilla's works. he spends a lot of time tinkering to try to create more mechanisms. he blames himself for Berties death since he convinced him to enlist, and even though bertie is long dead he still wants to learn to build a Mechanism, just to prove to himself he could have saved him if he had time

- Marius absolutely will hand someone his arm if they ask for a "hand" with something. this has ended in him getting shot more than once

- Jonny enjoys laying his head on Brian and listening to his heart beat, imagining it's his own. He has sworn Brian to secrecy (everyone already knows)

- occasionally ivy's brain will crash and she has to reboot. originally this freaked out the others but they're used to it. they will fuck with her while she's out of it. once a reboot took several hours and she woke up and every inch of her face was covered in stickers

- in order from best cooks to worst- ivy, Nastya, Marius, Raphealla, TS, Brian, Jonny, ashes, Tim.

- ashes & Tim are both natural heaters and are usually in the middle of a cuddle pile on colder planets

- Brian doesn't technically need to breathe and enjoys walking on the bottom of deep bodies of water to see the creatures below. he does have to make sure he gets all of the salt water off so he doesn't rust tho

- no one is letting the toy soldier back into the aurora, it just exists where it believes it should (because it's needed, narratively important, or because it believes it will be funny). only aurora knows this, the others believe they keep accidentally letting it back in. this also means toy solider is *incredibly* good at startling others by just appearing in corners or behind doors.

- Jonny is missing the finger prints on one of his fingers from a bar fight, where he narrowly missed losing the whole finger.

- Tim has some knee damage from living in the tunnels during the moon war and while the mechnaizing has helped some, occasionally uses a cane

- Ashes has nerve damage in thier lower limbs from the flame damage

- Marius sometimes gets phantom pains from his missing arm

- somwtimes Brian turns all of his sensors up because he forgets what feeling actually alive feels like. his processor has limited ability to process things like warmth or pain so they just feel like echos of the real thing. he gets jealous sometimes of the others. everyone else can *feel* thier hugs. he's even jealous of TS. it can't feel like him, but it also doesn't remember what it felt like before. he's even jealous of the others feeling pain because at least it's more than just dull flashes that thier brain attempts to imitate as feeling

- ashes is Brian's favorite to touch/hug/cuddle with purely because they run hotter so it's easier for his sensors to pick up the temperature difference (so it feels the closest to hugging did before mechanizing)

- Brian hates the zero grav zones on the aurora & avoids them if at all possible because they remind him of his time before mechanizing (aurora knows this and will shuffle corridors around if she knows where he is going to avoid low grav areas)

- sometimes Tim will just. turn off the sensors in his eyes for a bit. usually when he's over stimulated. sometimes when he's tinkering on something he knows well and someone keeps bothering him. sometimes it's because someone keeps trying to get his attention and "sorry I didn't see you my eyes were off" is hilarious

[saintsenara]

Potions Master Edition: Slughorn/Snape. Was prodigiously talented Severus a Slug Club favourite, rewriting the textbook in the corner of their get-togethers? Or not, due to him being poorly connected, poorly socialised and well, poor? If not, there’s some delicious resentment baked in there. But Sluggy manages to get Sev to willingly attend a Christmas party! Add a splash of Lily to the cauldron for some extra toxicity.

thank you very much for the ask, anon!

i don't ever imagine that snape was in the slug club. and partially this is for exactly the reasons you describe - slughorn obviously likes those with pretty faces and pretty manners, which snape doesn't have - but it's also because the teenage snape has no interest whatsoever in playing the game when it comes to how class functions in the wizarding world.

slughorn is evidently keen on taking on passion projects from among the group of hogwarts students who are at a disadvantage in a society which assigns such weight to name and lineage - especially if they're male, since it appears both that the trend in the wizarding world is generally for married women not to work and that it is more acceptable for a man to marry a non-pureblood woman and pass down his name than it is for a woman to marry a non-pureblood man. as we know from half-blood prince, he delights in finding little protegés he can use his connections to set up in ministry internships and then manipulate for the rest of their lives on the basis of their dependence on his patronage.

[i.e. dirk cresswell, muggleborn head of the goblin liaison office.]

we see this at play in canon in slughorn's treatment of tom riddle. but, while the teenage voldemort rejects the jobs slughorn tries to arrange for him, he does play the game while at school, simpering politely through slug club meetings and sending slughorn box after box of [presumably stolen] pineapple.

the teen snape has no such interest in doing this. while the teenage riddle we meet in chamber of secrets and half-blood prince has sanded off many of his rougher edges [the eleven-year-old riddle, for example, is written in a way which suggests he has an accent and uses words and expressions which would be understood as working class; the sixteen-year-old version does not], the snape we meet in snape's worst memory is still visibly working-class in his speech and mannerisms, and i can easily imagine this being a source of pride for him [a sort of "fuck these posh cunts who think they're better than me" vibe] while at school, especially in the way it would impact his relationship with james and sirius.

[and also the way that it would impact his relationship with lily, who does play the game. i think you can do something really interesting with snape thinking that going to the slug club, losing her accent, taking james' pureblood name etc. is her "selling out" - never realising that lily both may want to do these things, but also has to, since they're the only way she's going to survive as a muggleborn in the wizarding world.]

slughorn's going to view him as a lost cause.

but could the adult snape and the adult slughorn get together? maybe.

as you say, snape's going to harbour a huge amount of resentment against slughorn, not only for ignoring his genius when he was at school but also for doing literally nothing to prevent his radicalisation. it is impossible to imagine that people like lucius malfoy, rodolphus and rabastan lestrange, barty crouch jr., evan rosier etc. weren't slughorn's favourites - and, of course, we know regulus black was - and slughorn must have had a very good idea why they were taking an interest in someone like snape, he was just too afraid of voldemort [and of admitting to dumbledore that he'd told voldemort about horcruxes] to do anything about it.

but it's also the case that snape must be aware that slughorn has been brought back to hogwarts during half-blood prince so that he too can be a pawn in dumbledore's schemes. i think you could do something deliciously toxic with snape finding himself drawn to slughorn because of a shared sense that they're both being fucked over by dumbledore - and i think this could lead into some excellent hurt/comfort during the year in which snape's headmaster when slughorn, who must remember snape's affection for lily, begins to suspect that all is not what it seems...

but there's another potential snape/slughorn dynamic i think it's worth discussing, which comes with a trigger warning for the topic of the sexual abuse of a student by a teacher and which is under the cut.

in the films, slughorn is played as avuncular and broadly sexless - with the result that his wheeling and dealing comes across as grasping and a bit pitiable, but generally harmless.

the slughorn of the books, in contrast, is straightforwardly creepy.

he is involved in his students' private lives to an extent we see from no other teacher [his interest in harry's relationship with ginny, for example]. he socialises with students in private in ways which are abnormal within the hogwarts context - it's clearly acceptable for students to be alone in teachers' private offices for detention, but much less so for them to be called in for a glass of wine or to offer their teachers presents... he is happy to let his favourites bend the rules, but also to let them know he's doing so [lestrange and avery have clearly been allowed to be quite late with their essays - and to attend a slug club party while they're still outstanding - before slughorn finally puts his foot down]. the way his habit of "collecting" students - and the life-long influence he then goes on to assert over them - is described makes it sound exceptionally sinister, particularly since the text emphasises that many of his favourite students are also very good-looking. and he is famously willing to receive gifts in exchange for... favours.

and it is very striking that slughorn's two favourite pupils - voldemort and lily - have relationships with slughorn which differ in terms of their power dynamics than, for example, slughorn's relationship with someone like harry.

with harry - as, we can assume, with the children of rich, socially prominent, and politically influential families - slughorn is looking to bask in their reflected glow, and receive social cachet for being connected to them ["i can introduce you to harry potter", "well, of course, i know damocles belby terribly well", and so on].

with pupils who lack this social prominence, he is seeking to mould them into creatures who will do his bidding and rely on him for support [voldemort will be minister for magic in a decade "if you keep sending me pineapple"]. these pupils are made dependent on slughorn for their post-hogwarts position in the wizarding world, they are clearly expected to be grateful to him, and they are clearly expected to do things to butter him up which their posher peers are not.

they also lack the social power to risk rejecting him - i think it's very striking in half-blood prince that harry, ron, and ginny find the idea of hermione trapped in slug club meetings funny, without considering that, as a muggleborn woman, hermione needs the connections someone like slughorn can provide her even if she doesn't enjoy what she has to go through in order to make them. the same would be true for lily - at least until she married - and it would be doubly true for voldemort, who is not only presumed to be muggleborn by most people he encounters, but who lacks any sort of family support in the muggle world too.

[and voldemort refusing slughorn's job offers in his seventh year absolutely tanks their relationship - in a way which the horcrux conversation, which takes place when voldemort's in sixth year, does not. i think this is really worth thinking about both when unravelling why slughorn never becomes a death eater and when thinking about why voldemort is at borgin and burkes for a decade and has no political success until he has divorced himself from his old name and old appearance...]

snape - poor, saddled with his muggle father's name, friendless, under the radar of the rest of his teachers [james and sirius evidently get away with bullying him without any really onerous punishment], uncouth, desperate to be recognised for his talents, and so on - is an ominously plausible target to be groomed and abused by a teacher such as slughorn, who could act with impunity [relatively] safe in the knowledge that their social positions [even before we get into the power dynamic inherent between a student and a teacher] mean that snape would never be able to articulate what was happening to him and be believed...

and i talk a lot about how - when we think about how snape was radicalised into becoming a death eater - we need to recognise that voldemort appears to be the first person he ever encounters who offers him a chance at power and status which transcends the limitations of his class background. this dynamic could be made all the more potent if we imagine that voldemort is also the first person to believe him when he talks about being slughorn's victim...

and to promise him that he will offer him a chance for revenge.

[yesimwriting]

So, since you gave us some "Stu saying the L word" content 👀...

Could you give us some "Billy saying the L word" content?

A/n wait...i kind of love this

i actually spent an unreasonable amount of time debating scenarios that felt accurate to the way i think billy would say it for the first time lol

----

The corner of your mouth drags down before your lips part. Not even a full second later, your eyebrows pull together sharply. Shock and then concern.

You don't read every night in the same way that Billy doesn't sneak into your room every night. It might not be always but it's enough to have its own routine, enough to practically be expected.

Billy never thought that your reading would particularly matter to him. But it didn't take long to learn that after the first page or two, you lose yourself in your own world fully. He doesn't have to hide or resist the urge to study you.

You turn the page and pull whatever you're using as a bookmark from behind the back cover. He's seen you use things as logical as receipts and as random as hair ties to mark your place. Tonight it's a bright pink square of paper curling at the corners. A sticky note, which is what you normally use when you have something important coming up that you're terrified of committing. He'll check it before leaving in the morning, update himself on whatever essay or extra curricular is weighing on you a little extra these days.

"Good chapter?"

You nod once, more to yourself than to him. "Pretty good," you set the book down on your nightstand, "They brought back a plot point they hadn't mentioned since the first few chapters in a total plot twist."

Billy nods, "Cool."

It's not much, but you don't need a lot when it comes to talking about whatever you're reading. A part of him's glad that you're hinting at being on the chattier side tonight. You had been pushed towards moody earlier today. It wasn't anything blatant enough for him to justify asking you about it, but it did tug at his chest a little. Nothing too sappy or strained, just a pinch of discomfort that only bothered him enough to be noticeable. Like the momentary sting of a paper cut.

"Mhm," you hum, letting yourself sink a little deeper into your pillow, "It was a good distraction, I guess."

He turns his head, trying to pick apart the slight pout of your lips. Billy spends more time than he'd ever admit to anyone taking in the details of every look and subconscious gesture, like there's something to decode in the way you pick at your nails or draw your eyebrows together.

At first, the weight he placed on what you were feeling used to make him want to resent you. Even now that he's grown more accustomed to you mattering, sometimes the general concern twists itself into something brutal.

A flare up of that more volatile version of compassion is starting to burn in his chest. Your hair is pulled back loosely and you're in his T-shirt, an older one he doesn't remember you taking. It's one of his looser ones and the collar is partially stretched out so it slides down your shoulder enough to expose most of your collar bone. It makes you look small, fragile.

"Distraction?"

"Long day," your nails pick at the edge of the T-shirt, shifting the fabric higher up your thigh. "Nothing that deep."

Billy resists the urge to roll his eyes. You can keep whatever's bothering you to yourself while you're out because that's different. There are social pressures and prying ears. But now it's just you and him. "C'mon."

He hadn't seen the signs with his mother before it was too late. In the aftermath, it all became clear. She went from telling him each feeling, from expressing the kind of trust that only comes from a bond that can't be recreated to quiet before she left. Closed off and tired.

Your eyes squint slightly. "Tell me." He tries to keep it light, earnest and curious in the way that any good boyfriend should be, but he can feel the strain in his throat. And even worse, he can see the way you note it.

Billy lifts an arm, gently bumping his fist into your arm in an attempt to make things feel easy again. It works, a hint of a smile tugging at your lips as you let out a partial laugh. "Please?"

"It's stupid," you mumble, and for a second Billy thinks you might be blowing him off, "Just that we got our math quizzes back today and I did so bad, and not bad in a 'oh I didn't get the grade I wanted' way. Like bad bad, and the quiz was based on what our test is going to be on and I just--I don't get it no matter how much I study. And Chris Peterson sits behind me and he saw my grade and he's being such a smug asshole about it."

For a second, all he can focus on is trying to put a face to a name that feels like it should be familiar. Is Chris Peterson that football player that likes to trip freshmen that get too close to him in the lunch line? Or is Chris Peterson the kid with a retired wall street hotshot dad that never shuts up about his contacts in the city? Or someone else entirely? Billy decides that it doesn't matter, if he's bad enough to get you to call him a smug asshole then he has to be an openly terrible person?

His fingertips brush against your bent knee, a gesture that has you relaxing against him. The reaction anchors him to the present. "What did smug asshole Chris Peterson do?"

You sigh, pushing yourself to sit up. "Ugh." You take Billy's hand, squeezing his palm. "He's always been kind of annoying, making comments about me keeping up and how I'm lucky I'm pretty." Billy feels the admission like a punch to the chest. How long has this been going on? Why didn't you tell him earlier? "But today--he saw my quiz and very loudly made a joke about how he's just so willing to teach me something and that he could help me with cherry picking, too."

Billy's surprised by how tightly you're squeezing his fingers. The feeling is the one thing keeping him from getting too caught up in imagining what it'd be like to find Chris Peterson and give him a call with Stu. It'd be so easy. "It's stupid, I know, but--"

"Not stupid." His voice is low, a soft whisper he's didn't think would successfully cut you off. You have a habit of shrinking in on yourself for the sake of others, something Billy would find incredibly performative on anyone else.

You smile, a gentle tug at the corner of your lips. "Thanks."

He turns over his hand without taking it from you. "Want me to beat him up?"

You let out a small laugh. "Yeah, I think he needs it." Carefully, the nail of your pointer finger traces down the line of his palm. With no warning, you tense. Billy watches you carefully, noting the slight crease between your eyebrows. "Billy." He freezes, thinking through everything he's said to you. Maybe something slipped out while he was imagining taking his time tearing Chris Peterson into pieces. You lift his hand, twisting his wrist so that he has to look at his palm. "You didn't say anything."

He blinks, finally noticing what you're referencing. A cut against the side of his palm that's deeper near his fingers than it is at the edge of his hand. A byproduct of a fishing hook incident while out on the water with his dad. Sure, it hurt at first but majority of the cut was shallow and no part of it was heavy enough to warrant stitches. His dad had pressed a rag against it for a minute longer than necessary to stop the bleeding and that was that.

But the tone you're using to scold him makes it seem like he forgot to mention that he lost a limb. He fights against a smile. "What? It's a cut?"

You glare. "It's a...wound." You set his hand down on your leg gingerly. "And I was squeezing your hand." The sentence is gasped out like you just realized you've committed some terrible crime. "I'm--"

"It's fine." And it is, he hadn't even registered the cut in relation to you.

You're not accepting that response, bending his wrist to get a better look at the scratch. "What happened?" Before he can answer, you're moving on to another question, "Did you even clean it?"

Another thing that he doesn't get to respond to. You push him off you gently, mumbling something about infections as you disappear into the bathroom. In less than a minute you're back, cradling supplies in your arms.

"It's not a big deal." There's no point in saying anything about it, you've already made up your mind. "On my last fishing trip, a hook snagged me."

Billy watches as you climb back into bed, crossing your legs beneath you. "Doesn't make me feel any better." He sighs as you take your time settling his hand against his lap.

As you start to dab around the redness, the moment hits Billy square in the chest. You're fully attentive of him, eyes locked on the scratch, a slight pout on your lips. "You're lucky you don't have tetanus."

Heat is starting to crawl up his face. There's some kind of joke he should make, a comment about how dramatic you are or that he can't remember you completing a medical degree. Instead, all he can get out is a painful, "It was a new hook."

You look up long enough to throw another glare in his direction. Billy knows you're trying to be serious, a little threatening, but like usual, it just makes that unsettling fondness burn even hotter than usual. He swallows down the feeling like bile. His father's voice pushes itself into his head, ramblings of what it means to care about someone...the weakness that comes from love.

Oh. The thought stings. He winces as you dab a glob of Neosporin onto the broken skin.

"Sorry." You mean it, your voice a soft hiss like you share his hurt.

An antsy-ness he's not used to makes something beneath his skin crawl. "Fine," he manages, "It's fine."

For a second, he thinks you notice. You're so good at reading him that sometimes Billy has to remind himself to not hold it against you. you don't mention the hard way he forced out his words or give any indication that you think anything's weird. You're too good at that, too, at knowing when he can handle being called out and when to act like nothing's changed.

You let go of his hand, keeping the back of his palm on your leg. Your hand reaches for a rectangular box that you dropped onto your bed when you sat down. Band-aids.

"Uh--I thought I had some neutral ones, but all I have left are my colorful ones." He runs through your sentence, taking his time reading your tone. Are you pretending not to notice or did you actually miss it? The not knowing paired with his recent realization make his stomach feel hard. "I promise not to give you a pink one."

He should tell you that he doesn't need a band-aid. He's not a child that needs coddling and he's definitely not some love sick little kid that lets you do whatever you want. Instead, all that comes out is, "You can pick the color."

You grin, shaking the box as you rifle through your options. "I could be really mean right now." You sound so happy, it makes the stabbing feeling in chest worth it.

After a second of searching, you make your final selection, peeling back the thin paper and gently pressing the band-aid in place. He looks at his hand as you smooth down the edge of the band-aid. "Purple?"

You nod, clearly content with your choice. "You have a purple vibe."

He bends his fingers, trapping yours against his palm. "A purple vibe?"

"Yeah," you push against his fingers with no real intention of trying to escape, "Like--I can't put it into words, but it's--it's a good thing, promise."

Billy tilts his chin down in what's meant to be a brief nod. You press your fingertips into his palm. It's supposed to be some kind of play fighting, but even that is overwhelmingly gentle. "What're you thinking about?"

He presses his lips together, "Nothing."

You look at him, openly pouting. Before he can call you out on it, you let out a sigh and let your body lean forward until your forehead lands against his arm.

"Nothing," you repeat it into his shirt, dropping your voice an octave to make fun of him.

"You're dramatic," he whispers it without any bite.

You let out an annoyed huff, and Billy lifts his still free hand to smooth your hair. The two of you sit there like that until you break the comfortable understanding by lifting your head off his shoulder just enough to look at him.

"C'mon," you're openly trying again, which is rare. Maybe he does seem off. "You made me tell you."

"Hm..." He makes a show of wrinkling his nose, "I don't think I made you."

You sit up a little straighter, forcing Billy's hand to slide onto your shoulder. You lift your freehand to bump a fist against his forearm. "Please?"

"You," the admission leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.

Your eyebrows draw together, but the look behind your eyes is warm. "I don't want to pry--"

"Since when?"

You move your hand to flick the back of your wrist. "About me good or about me bad?"

He swallows, unsure of what the right answer is. What the true answer is. The question twists in his head, burrowing itself somewhere heavy and easily frustrated. You're looking at him too, expression welcoming and kind and--"I love you."

You blink. Did you hear him...correctly? There's no way you did, because Billy's not the kind of person to say things like that and especially not so suddenly. It'd make a lot more sense for you to have just misheard him...but Billy's being quiet, and he's going out of his way to avoid meeting your gaze. There's a tension in the way he's sitting now that doesn't fit him.

"You..." Heat is rising to your face and you're not sure how you're supposed to get any response out. "You love me?"

His eyes focus on something just past your shoulder, "Good or bad, guess it's up to you."

Your eyes go round, the wave of emotion hitting you with no warning, "How could it be bad?" Warmth settles in Billy's chest. Your voice is so genuine. You sit up a little straighter, grinning, "You love me."

He tilts his head down, fighting an eye roll. "I can take it back."

"No you can't," you shake your head, smile growing, "Because you love me." It's a joke, you're trying to tease him, but it's true. He's given you a way to tear him apart from the inside out. Once it's out, it's out, a large open spot of vulnerability he's trusting you not to use against him. "Don't worry, I can't be too mean about it." He doesn't know where you're going with this, "I love you, too, so..."

Billy takes a deep breath. Your words take their time washing over him. Relief loosens the knot in his stomach enough to let him think through your admission. It helps, but he's not sure if he believes it fully.

He leans towards you, so close your foreheads are almost touching. "You love me?"

"Yeah," you admit, voice low and a little shyer, "Kinda a lot."

He can feel the admiration in your expression, the honesty. Heat crawls up his neck. "Kind of?" You back up slightly, eyebrows pulling together in a sarcastic expression. Before you can respond with some kind of joke telling him to watch his ego, Billy closes the distance between the two of you.

[whereianonymouslypostfics]

K.O.

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x reader

Word count: ~1.1k

Summary: Training quickly devolves into something more fun. Part 2 of Training. I’m jumping the gun because I have a feeling I know who’s going to win the poll. 👀 If not I have the other one done too 😉

A/N: :) 18+ only please 

Warnings: smut

You knew that you would end up regretting your cockiness almost immediately. Now; however, as you we lying on your back in the middle of the ring you realize that you probably should have been more gracious. That said, you couldn’t complain too much because the view from here was very nice.

Wanda was on top of you straddling your hips as she smiled down at you. She held your hands in hers, pinning them by your head as she looked to you with a smug grin.

“What was it you said about getting me underneath you?”

You have to clamp your mouth shut so you don’t groan at how poorly you’d judged your wife’s intentions. You shift slightly trying to roll her off you, but she just holds you down firmly as she tilts her head in question.

“I thought you were going to impress me, detka?”

You actually groan at this and you frown in frustration. You wait until Wanda shifts her weight before you try again to roll her over. You only partially succeed and Wanda manages to jump to her feet as soon as you do. You run at her and throw a punch that’s aimed at her shoulder because you couldn’t stand hitting Wanda in the face, but she dodges it easily and grabs your arm to pull you forward.

You almost lose your balance but you spin and side-step your wife so you end up behind her. You don’t get to try anything however before Wanda elbows you sharply in the stomach.

“Ow! Ruude.”

You double over and groan dramatically as Wanda just turns to face you with an unimpressed look. You just smile at her before holding out your hand that Wanda looks at with a frown. You wait until she grabs your hand and you shake it with a cheeky smile before you’re twisting your wife’s arm and kicking her knees out from under her.

Wanda hisses in more surprise than pain because you don’t crank on her arm as much as you normally would. She still has to take a moment to catch her breath when you push her forward so she’s staring at her knees.

“Give up yet?”

Wanda shakes her head before she goes to reach for something at her waistband. She ends up just turning and punching you in the stomach, but the message is clear.

“No because I can still stab you with this hand, Y/n.”

You sigh in defeat realizing your mistake before you nod in agreement. You pretend like you’re injured from Wanda’s ‘knife’ before falling onto your knees.

“Okay, that’s fair.”

Wanda watches more amused than anything else as you topple over with a dramatic groan and fall onto your back. You both realize in that moment that you’re not really in the mood to train. You thought you’d wanted to blow off steam, but you realize that there is a much more fun way to do this.

“You don’t seem very motivated, milaya.”

You smile as Wanda walks over towards you and reaches out a hand to help you up. You shrug as you admit that you’re not feeling it at the moment. Wanda just laughs at this as she pulls her hand away as she reconsiders. She takes advantage of your position on the ground and decides that she wants to humor you. Wanda’s on her knees and hovering over you before you can ask what’s on her mind. Her eyes are bright as she looks you over appreciatively before leaning in.

“Are you going to deprive me of watching you sweat because I was really looking forward to it?”

You are certainly sweating now as your wife kisses your cheek as she climbs on top of you with a smile. You hiss as she shifts against your hips before sliding up to settle on your stomach. You groan loudly as Wanda grinds against your tense muscles. You reach up to put your hands on her waist, but they’re only there for a millisecond before your wife pins them down.

“No touching.”

You open your mouth to argue, but Wanda cuts you off as she kisses you deeply. You moan as Wanda starts to rock against you more insistently. Your fingers flex and you consider trying to break free from your wife’s grasp, but Wanda reads your mind and holds you tighter. You break away from the kiss to breathe, and you can’t stop yourself from bucking your hips uselessly as you practically feel Wanda pulse against you.

“Fuck, Wands. You’re—”

You’d intended to say that she was amazing, that she looked beautiful from where she sat above you with her flushed face and parted lips. She bites her lip to stifle a breathy moan as she starts to move faster against you as her pleasure starts to peak.

“Mhmm, you feel so good, Y/n.”

Wanda’s eyes are squeezed shut so she can’t see your pained expression as you try to free your hands once again. Wanda stops what she’s doing despite it being torture for you both and she shoots you a stern look. You’re gasping for breath and nearly vibrating from the urge to reach out and touch, but you realize your mistake as soon as Wanda frowns at you.

“You’re being bad, detka. Do you want to see me come or not?”

That’s hardly a question and you nod furiously as Wanda shifts so she can hold your hands above your head. She leans over and pecks your lips before she starts rocking again.

“Stay.”

You do as you’re told and you desperately try to ignore the ache between your legs as your wife continues to use you to get off. It’s only a minute or so later that Wanda’s hips start to stutter and she lets out a gasp. Her body jerks to a stop and you feel her orgasm soak you through her leggings.

“Fuck.”

Wanda stills above you so she can catch her breath before she looks down at you with a smile. She kisses you again before releasing your hands which immediately go to her hips. She doesn’t argue this time and she kisses you thoroughly before she hisses as you squeeze your wife’s ass.

“Do you want to continue this upstairs?”

All you can think about is getting your hands on Wanda and watching her lose herself to her pleasure again and again. You quickly get to your feet with a nod and you help Wanda get out of the ring before quickly leading her out of the room with a grin.

“You know I do.”

Masterlist

[writingonleaves]

things you never said (things you'll never say to me) - nico hischier

pairing: nico hischier x original female character

warnings: swearing, sadness, angst, not my traditional fluff folks, very little dialogue, kinda a ramble disguised into a piece lol, google translated german, projection?? is that a valid warning

inspired by + title: "things i wish you said" by sabrina carpenter

word count: 2.8k

author's note: got into my feels randomly for this (incredible) song and decided to write something with it. also a part of @wyattjohnston 's lowkey loverfest 2k24!! hope you all enjoy this melancholy ride and please let me know what you think <3

*****

Nico Hischier has always been a leader. 

You ask anyone in Naters or Bern who knew him growing up and they would say the same thing — he’s a polite, young boy with so much talent and a sensible mind. He may be the youngest of three, but everyone’s always turned to Nico for guidance. With a calming voice paired with a warm smile, it’s rare for Nico to steer anyone wrong. 

And he sees it in himself too. Even when he was a rookie, when the C stitched into his jersey was only a blurred dream, he still felt like he had to lead by example. No one was expecting that of him, he knows that now, but he was a first overall pick, the weight of a losing team’s hopes on his shoulders. If he crumbled, those supporters’ hopes fell with him. His own hope would fall with him. 

It took a few years, a pandemic, another first overall pick, a shit ton of roster changes, a new coach and other things to walk into a locker room that wasn’t used to losing. And Nico prides himself as being a leader in that transition. C on his jersey or not, he would’ve done it. Because he doesn’t know how not to.

Leanna always said he didn’t know how to turn it off. 

When Nico had first met Leanna Spritz, it honestly was one of the worst first impressions he’s ever given. It was the morning after a brutal 6-1 loss against the fucking Flyers. The final score itself was bad, but the fact that it was against the Flyers rubbed more salt into the wound. He knew Lindy was gonna bag skate them all to hell and back the morning after and he just really wanted his cappuccino before to take away some of the bitterness. 

All up in his head, he had crashed literally into Leanna. Before they both could comprehend, her cold brew had spilled. Somehow, Nico got away with an unnoticeable splash on his hoodie and no spillage from his own drink. But Leanna wasn’t so lucky. Her brown sweater wasn’t dark enough to hide the fact that half of her cold brew was on it while the other spilled to the ground. 

“Fuck,” Nico had exclaimed, eyes widening and darting between her now coffee stained sweater, the empty cup on the ground and her red hair that only glistened with the sun rays. “Shit! I am so sorry. That’s totally my fault.”

Leanna had waved him away with a small chuckle as she dug into her purse for stray napkins. Far too nice for someone who now had coffee all over them because of him. “It’s okay. Mistakes happen.”

Nico looked at his watch and grimaced. Shit. He was going to be late to practice. And that would be even worse than usual with their horrible performance the night before. “Listen. I really want to buy you a coffee to make up for my clumsiness, but I’m gonna be late to work and-”

Leanna had nodded in understanding, lips quirked up. “Don’t worry about it. Promise. Go. Don’t be late for work.”

He had been so frazzled that all he remembered doing was blurting out another apology before practically running away, partially from embarrassment but also because he really did have to go. 

A week later, Nico went back to the coffee shop. In the back of his mind was the redhead who he still owed a coffee to. But Nico’s also realistic and he knew he’d probably never see her again. 

While he was patiently waiting in the long line, he felt a tap on his shoulder. He braced himself to interact with a fan, but turned around and was pleasantly surprised by who he did see. 

“I thought that was you,” she had said, pink beanie over her hair and a twinkle in her eye. “Not going to spill coffee again on me, are you? I’m wearing white today.”

Nico swallowed before his brain turned back on and he grinned. “Good eye. And no. I promise I’ll be less clumsy today. And I’m less in a rush.” They were next in line to order and he ordered first before turning to her. She had tried to deny him but he just raised an eyebrow until she gave the barista her order. 

“I’m really sorry again,” Nico said as they had shuffled out of line to wait for their drinks. “I hope the sweater didn’t stain.”

Leanna waved him off with her bright smile. “That sweater has been through too much for some coffee to ruin it. You don’t need to worry, Captain.”

Nico had been shocked that she knew who he was, which, in hindsight, is dumb. He’s not Jack, but he gets recognized a good amount around New Jersey still.

He cleared his throat. “Nico is fine.”

She smiled. “Okay, Nico. Well, I’m Leanna. Thank you for paying for my coffee. You didn’t have to, by the way, especially to clear your conscience.”

“That’s not why-well, it is. But I also, uh, are you in a rush?”

Nico remembers that day so well still, his English failing him despite living in North America for over five years as he basically asked Leanna on their first date right there and then. He remembers being thankful that she took some pity on him with her sweet smile and led them to a table. He probably would’ve stood there stuttering like a fool if she didn’t cut in.

“Nico?”

Nico blinks himself out of his memories as Jack walks into his living room. Sometimes he questions if he should’ve given Jack a key. 

“Hey. What’s up?”

“We have skate,” Jack gives him a look. “Dude, take a shower. Quickly. Or we’ll be late.”

“Right,” Nico says, stumbling over to the shower. As the water’s warming up, his eyes stop at a purple bottle tucked in the corner of the sink. Hair oil. Leanna always joked that she couldn’t live without it. His hands twitch to reach for the bottle just so he can smell the grapefruit scent, but he forces himself into the shower instead. 

He can hear Nina’s voice so clearly. Throw it away, she’d say in their mother-tongue that realistically Nico will never not be fluent in but sometimes is scared will slip away. Nina liked Leanna a lot, actually, the one time they met when she came to Jersey to visit last year. But Nina is also Nico’s sister, and cursed her name many times when Nico called her crying, waking her up in the middle of the night. She had stayed on the phone with him for three hours, letting him cry.

He forces himself to take a shower. To wake up a bit and shift his focus to the upcoming skate and game tonight. They’re playing the Rangers, which is just always a grind. He needs to be all in.

Nico keeps to himself while getting ready for practice, putting on his gear quietly while his teammates chatter about something or another around him. He speaks quickly to the equipment team about his skates and smiles in thanks. He catches a whiff of the perfume of their head of PR as she walks past in the hallway, and Nico swallows. 

Realistically, he knows it’s not the same one. But it’s floral and smells like jasmine, so it might as well be. 

As he’s driving home, he has the radio down low. He was never the one to fuss about putting his music on in the car. Because the world just works like that, a song that he doesn’t know the title to comes on. He hums along, because Leanna always played this song.

Instinctively, his fingers twitch to reach out to someone who won’t ever be in his passenger seat ever again. He can hear her voice, her thigh under his palm. It’s not safe to drive with one hand, she’d say with an amused laugh interlaced in her voice. He would always roll his eyes before giving her thigh a squeeze and keeping his hand there for the majority of their journey. 

He remembers that sentence bringing him comfort when they were driving to her sister’s house in upstate New York. He was scared shitless to meet her whole family for the first time to celebrate her cousin’s birthday. It was below freezing point outside, but his hands were so clammy that one would’ve thought it was summer. 

Leanna had put her hand in his hair at the nape of his neck. He had immediately calmed down. 

He swears if he focuses hard enough he can still smell the green tea shampoo Leanna used. It was always interesting to him, because the first thing he would think of when he saw her flaming red hair wasn’t green tea. It deserved something more bold attached to it. Like orange. Or vanilla. Or coconut.

Because Leanna was exactly that. Bold. Bright. Crashing into the lives of everyone in her path with her bright smile, loud laughter and a personality that sucked you in. 

Nico stops at a red light and absentmindedly looks to the right. His breath catches at the sight of a woman walking a beagle. Leanna always said that once she was more settled down, a beagle was the kind of dog she wanted to get, just like the dog she had by her side throughout her whole childhood. 

At one point, Nico had thought she meant settling down in Jersey. Never did she give the indication while they were together that she had meant London. 

He couldn’t force himself to unfollow Leanna on Instagram after the break-up. He catches himself way too often seeing if she still follows him. She does. And she even likes his posts most of the time. He checks.

Nico shouldn’t be surprised. Even though she cried so much when they broke up and he couldn’t handle it, through tears, she wished him nothing but the best. Even as she was actively breaking his heart.

As he pulls into the parking garage for his apartment complex, he kills the engine and just sits there. He should be focusing on the game tonight. Focusing on how they need to stop taking stupid penalties. Focusing on their positioning in the offensive zone. 

You think too much, honey. Leanna would say, kissing his forehead twice, something she started doing to calm him down. You just need to play hockey. Least that’s what you always tell me. Everything else will follow. 

And he would never admit it out loud — especially to Jonas — but he still repeats those words in his head. He’s not sure if it works, but it’s like a mantra. A routine. And hockey players know more than anyone how important routines are and how difficult they are to change. 

It’s been two months and three days. It’s annoying that Nico can still hear her voice in his head, clear as day. He hopes one day he’lll never be able to remember. But he also dreads the day that he’ll forget what she sounds like. 

He walks up into his apartment and pours out a glass of water, downing it in one go. The sun’s out for the first time in two weeks, and a small smile spills on his lips as he admires the sunlight through his glass windows. His eyes shift to a spot on one of the tables by the window on the right, where it seems like something is shining. His curiosity takes over and he walks over, a reminder popping into his brain that he needs to dust his apartment. Why does dust accumulate so quickly anyways? 

His stomach drops. One of her combs placed nonchalantly behind one of his plants. The shine is coming from the light hitting the red hair caught between the bristles. 

What the fuck?

Nico closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before hastily grabbing the comb and tossing it into the trash. She never officially moved in with him, but she was around the apartment enough to leave some things lying around here and there. He thought he had thrown everything out. Or more accurately, he trusted Jesper, Timo and Jack to do it for him during a particularly bad Saturday afternoon two weeks after everything fell to shit. 

He checks the time and sighs. He needs to nap or else everything will be thrown off. Checking his phone to make sure no one needs him, he plugs it in to charge by his bedside, ignoring a text from Nina he’ll answer when he wakes up.

It’s a text she sends a few times a week when she senses that her younger brother’s having a harder day. From almost 4,000 miles, she still knows. Nico’s always loved his sister, but he’s never felt more grateful to have her as he has in these last few months. 

eins zu zehn?? ❤️

One to ten, it translates to. On a scale of one to ten, how shitty or good are you feeling about it today? 

Nico sighs, responds back with a 6, and wills his mind to rest. 

Somehow, he wakes up decently well rested to his alarm. He stays in bed a few extra minutes, getting his mindset ready for gametime. He chooses to wear the gray three piece suit tonight. One of his more fancier fits. It is the Rangers, after all. 

It was Leanna’s favorite suit of his. She always joked he “ruined the look” when he slapped on his beloved white beanie. I love your hair. I wish you’d show it off more, she’d say.

He digs out the beanie from his clean laundry. 

He always leaves an hour or so to himself before he has to go to the rink. He usually spends it tidying up or doing things around his place to clear his head so he can come back after the game and just crash. 

Today, he replays the breakup in his mind. Or what he remembers of it, since he blocked a lot of it out. 

When you picture your future, do you see me in it at all? He had choked out, holding Leanna’s hands in his for what was the last time. 

It hadn’t helped that she had also been crying as she said her next words. Neeks, baby. It’s not you, it’s me. And I hate that I’m pulling that out, but it’s true. Maybe this isn’t the right time for us. 

Why can’t it be? Nico had said. Why can’t we make it work?

Maybe in the future, if things are different. She had said, biting her trembling lip. But even then, Nico knew they were empty promises. She’s too stubborn of a person to not bend the world her way. She just doesn’t want Nico to be a part of that world.

It’s not fair, he knows that realistically, but oftentimes he wonders if she ever loved him at all. That thought especially rode his mind after he saw her post a story on Instagram earlier last week. It was clearly a soft launch, with her hand in the hand of some faceless guy over dinner. Nico ended up scoring two goals that night out of sheer adrenaline and anger. 

Because all he’s ever wanted was for Leanna Spritz to be happy. Even now. Even after all of this. Even if it’s not with him. 

But fuck, she’s clearly moving on. Why can’t he?

He blinks, collapsing on his couch in the living room and staring at the wall. The last time he heard from her was a month ago, when he had gone down after a rough hit during a game against Minnesota. He ended up only being out for the next two games, but the hit hadn’t been pretty. His chest had taken the brunt of the damage. Everyone, including him, had been relieved that it wasn't more serious.

While he was getting checked out by the trainers the next morning, his phone had buzzed and he almost threw up. 

Leanna Spritz✨

I saw the hit last night. Hope you’re okay. Listen to the trainers. 

Nico was angry. What right did she have to text him that? 

But then, he just felt sad. That bottomless pit in his stomach opened up. He felt nothing but emptiness. 

His phone buzzes, this time with a text from Timo, and Nico takes a deep breath. It’s game time. No more crying over his ex-girlfriend. 

As he’s sliding on his beanie in the bathroom, he catches sight of the hair oil again. He picks it up, smells it, before throwing it in the trash. It lands on the bottom of the can with a final thud. He clicks all the lights off, makes sure he has everything he needs, grabs his key off the hook and shuts the door. 

Two hours later, everyone’s getting hyped up. He gives a mini impromptu speech, Jack slaps his back way too hard and Nico smiles, dimples and all.

He takes a deep breath before his blades touch the ice.

[thecleverqueer]

Y’all.

The point of the Clone Wars flashback in the Ahsoka series was partially fan service. Yes. But, those of you that are mad that Obi-Wan and Cody and Waxer and Boil and Mace Windu and Ursa Wren and Gar Saxon and Maul and Bo-Katan Kryze and Rook Cast weren’t in it missed the whole goddamned point of the flashback, so let me explain:

Everyone has bitched tirelessly about Ahsoka being stoic and reserved and “not like herself” (I will die on the “she’s in her forties…leave my baby girl alone… she’s tired, sore and premenopausal…” hill, still…)

Ultimately, she’s been “out of character” because she was carrying all of the Anakin trauma around like a two hundred pound weight on her shoulders. She blamed herself, and she feared who she was so much so that she was unwilling to get close to others and spread the wisdom that the years have afforded her…something a Jedi just does. She couldn’t bring herself to do it.

Enter this sequence… the moment she FINALLY lets go of the Anakin guilt/ hang ups.

I knew something like this was coming. Some moment that changed her back to the more recognizable Ahsoka. The one that embraced her friends. The one that was willing to share the lessons that she learned with others. The one that would have loved to have a padawan of her own. The one that wasn’t always running away, being flaky.

This was it. And, there were two big takeaways from the moment.

1.) Anakin was always Vader, and Vader was always Anakin… and she had nothing to do with that. Her leaving the order played literally no role. It wasn’t on her. It never was. He was already teetering on that line way before she entered his life. I mean, he slaughtered an entire village of Tuskens down to the last woman and child. He said and did questionable shit to Ahsoka herself too throughout their time together. Was he like a brother to her? Sure. Was he borderline abusive at times? Also, yes. Regardless, her eyes were opened in that first battle…where he basically told her to fight or die. Fair, under the circumstances… still, Ahsoka was trained to be a Jedi, not a murderer. Anakin relished in it. She didn’t really, especially when it came to losing her own men in battle. The clones were her friends, her brothers. Anakin didn’t seem to give a shit about the clones. Unsurprising.

2.) She realized that it wasn’t just Anakin’s legacy that she would carry on. She has her own legacy. It doesn’t have to be one of death and destruction. Is Ahsoka a lot like Anakin? Yes. She’s impulsive, hot-headed, stubborn, emotional, and intense, but that’s not all. Ahsoka is caring, patient, understanding, and loving in a compassionate sense. She’s grown wise, strong and sage. Anakin isn’t the only part of her line and that legacy… Obi-Wan is a part. Qui-Gon is a part. Yoda is a part. Ahsoka is a little bit of all of them. It made her realize that she’s so much more than just a warrior. She’s a great Jedi like the ones that came before her. Inevitably, she has a choice. She can choose not to serve the dark, despite it being part of that legacy, and she can pass on what she has learned without fear.

The moment was about just that. It wasn’t meant to actually be an episode of The Clone Wars. The flashback served a very specific purpose as laid out above. There are 133 episodes of The Clone Wars if you want to watch a Clone Wars episode with all the characters of the Clone Wars. This moment was about Ahsoka overcoming her guilt and fear caused by Anakin becoming what he became so that Ahsoka could actually embrace who she is. Specifically.

Now we have a happy, more well-rounded, Gandalf-like Ahsoka that has slayed her Balrog. Now we get to see her be the Jedi she has always been inside. Now we will see her be there for her friends. Now we will see her mentor and share her wisdom and teach the ways of the ones that came before her without fear.

[mdhwrites]

Was Boscha Mistreated In S3?

TL:DR Boscha is actually one of the best written parts of S3, mostly because she actually has some efficiency to how she was written. This does not mean the writing succeeds in its goals because the misguided priorities and management of S3 of TOH is why this isn't some sort of praise. It is the ALMOST success in three specials that I think are objectively a complete failure of writing.

@hinobodyishere wanted a follow up to their previous ask about Boscha and I at first dismissed and deleted it, partially due to misinterpretation. That since we did get Boscha in S3, how was she handled? Was she given respect in regards to the trauma foisted upon her?

Well... Yeah actually. For the most part she is. They genuinely tried to give her a sympathetic character arc and their fumbling of it didn't have to do with disrespect, it had to do with one of the DUMBEST decisions of all of S3 I think. Not one that breaks themes just... Why would you do this? I have NO explanation for why the choice while I can at least tell you a concept for why other things were done.

But let's start with the good and that's that in a season that has some of the absolute least efficient storytelling I have EVER seen, especially in terms of wrapping shit up, Boscha keeps her biggest strength as a character and that is weirdly subtlety and in turn efficiency. Anyone who loves Boscha can probably back me up on this that so many of her weird quirks as a character come from small choices. I've talked in the past about how Amity is the ONLY person she never is mean or cruel to, even once Amity abandons her and that shows how subservient she was to Amity, not the other way around like most people portray it. This also coincides with her response to Luz coming to die. "Wow, you're a really good friend." And that implies she genuinely does understand friendship and loyalty and from what we can tell, she may be mean to even those around her but she is ALWAYS loyal and faithful to those she cares about. She knows what being a good friend is.

I bring this up not just to praise Boscha but also to lead into her trauma. We are explicitly shown her losing essentially her last two friends. Any trace of what her past was is GONE because of the Collector (your reminder that the Collector is a fucking monster btw). She is the last of her friend group. The last one still carrying the torch for what she thought reality was before Amity kicked her to the curb out of nowhere. Skara presumably did the same to be a part of the Entrails. Her reality is already fracturing and it was her own failure this time to protect them that led them to die. She is all that exists of the Banshees anymore. This is reinforced by how Miki manipulates her. She threatens Boscha with being in danger. With being vulnerable, something she's not used to because she always saw herself as Queen Bee and either sharing a throne with Amity or by herself. She is desperately holding onto what little she has left.

Willow's scene next is... Up and down to put it mildly. It is mostly to dogpile on the already heavy and EXTREMELY forced shit they're doing with Willow. A reminder: No one is asking fuck all of Willow this episode, few EVER have, and yet 'Dependable Willow' comes out of fucking nowhere. So while Boscha talking about the weight of responsibility is actually good for her, it is in line with the rest of Boscha's feeling that she's pressured to keep walls up against the world, it's not really anything new and it has little to do with her current trauma. At best, it helps explain why she's leading Hexside because she's the one who actually will take responsibility.

Then we get to the scene I mostly LOVE. Yes, I am a Lumischa shipper but I don't like it for the unrequited love angle. Like I said before, Boscha has lost EVERYTHING. She has lost way more than any of our 'trauma' victims amongst the Hexside crew. Even Hunter was never alone like she has been for MONTHS after having to watch TWO of her friends die instead of just one like Hunter did. The closest he ever got was the time between Hollow Mind and Labyrinth Runners which was like what? A week? It is genuinely incredible how shitty Boscha's life has been the entire time since the Collector showed up. Miki isn't even really a friend. She feeds into Boscha's fears and paranoia. She is actively trying to pull out the most damaged and worst parts of Boscha, essentially using her PTSD against her, for again, MONTHS.

So here is her chance to get SOMETHING back. To reverse the original sin that shattered her world. Finally, the Blight mentality that she must have at least gotten some of from Amity that she's lived her life with can come back. Amity can come back. That's why she's desperate and pleading with her. Then-

"Boscha, you're hurting me!"

I... There is something about the delivery of that line that makes my skin crawl in a way I can't 100% justify. It's not even out of character. It's her last chance after all so she'll go pretty far to keep Amity there. It's just... Not many characters physically hurt each other and Boscha doing it here comes across, especially after the faux confession, like a needy ex getting ready to assault their old lover. For an episode that is essentially trying to redeem Boscha, I don't think it's a good choice. She's been villainous enough already, you didn't need to go that extra step but that may just be me.

But, writing wise, this scene is correct. It is her darkest hour. The moment that forces her to self reflect and choose a path. Is she a Banshee, or is she a slave? Does she stand proud like she always has but now for the right reasons or does she cower in villainy?

And we don't get a proper climax. Then again, neither did the episode.

We're going on a tangent but bear with me because it sets up what I think needed to happen. See, Boscha showing up and promising to kick Kikimora's ass off screen is... Bad. It's not a climax, it's instead tepid and weak, complete with, in the SECOND TO LAST EPISODE, "Don't think we're square" or whatever the fuck Willow says to Boscha. Why? Why are you STILL kicking narrative cans down the lane instead of actually giving any fucking resolutions? It's so indicative of the entire problem of S3 just having no fucking clue, nor interest, in wrapping anything up or giving any sort of real satisfaction to narrative plot points IT CREATES.

Worse yet is tying this around Kikimora of all people! I actually don't hate her as a character but like Boscha, the minute Belos is dead, her utility is over. Her dramatic weight has been gone for over half a season because ever since Falls and Follies, she's been a gag character. Yet, she's canonically beaten our main characters as many times as Belos has and unlike Belos, the main cast has never beaten her themselves, especially in a fair fight if you want to count Hunter's fight against her while she's drugged as a win against her. This is a character who is going to get the same reaction Luz gave: "You again? REALLY!?" because like... Why? Of all the characters to bring back, why bring back Kikimora as a final antagonist? I actually do have explanations for that, it's part of why S3 could never have been good even with a longer version of itself, but different blog.

No, it is the fact that despite bringing her back, despite giving her another objective win against our heroes... She isn't beat. We actually don't even know if Hexside succeeds in beating her. In this adventure show, the villain could have just peaced the fuck out and kept doing whatever she wanted instead of getting her ass beat and giving us a real action scene, something that is sorely lacking in For the Future. It makes no sense narratively, by genre convention, or thematically. And don't claim they ran out of time because that means they kept Kikimora through however many drafts it takes to make an episode and somehow decided to never write in how to actually give a climax to this episode that isn't just Camila and Luz talking about a subject that ANY villain could inspire by kicking Luz's ass.

So. What should have been here?

My suggestion is a roughly three minute trick, maybe less. I'm not asking for a lot of time, you can probably get it from not bothering to show Belos during the main portion of the episode and let him showing up at the Collector's Castle be his whole appearance because the foreshadowing of Caleb leads to literally nothing. In this fight scene though, we'll get our redemption.

Luz is lost and they're still struggling against Kikimora. Suddenly, Kikimora gasps and fires past them. Her shot shows scattered stone and smoke... And Belos walks through it. He smirks at Kiki and asks, "Ah, I see you're still as impulsive as ever." Kiki fires again as Belos gets past Hunter who is seperating the others from Belos. They all see a stone pillar rise at the last second and explode. Amity sees Belos wink at her while hidden by the smoke and looks across the way. Emira winks back at her.

Belos waves a hand and from the Earth, an abomination of rock, dirt and plant begins to rise. He speaks again but we don't look at Belos, we see Emira with Barkus next to her down a potion, her eyes glow with oracle magic and she speaks through that, channeling Belos more purely than she could otherwise. Kikimora screams at him that he's dead and starts to pummel the abomination when a screech sounds from above. Viney drops a potion from Puddles and it crashes into Kikimora's cockpit. From it, tentacles comes out, trying to grab Kikimora but instead knocking her out of it. She falls. The ground zooms close. She shuts her single eye to brace for impact.

It doesn't come.

She opens her eye. She is met by three.

Boscha keeps her face close and her voice low as she says, "You tried to silence me. You tried to take the last thing a Banshee has to her. The thing that anyone who knew our team, knew my friends, would be familiar with. The only thing that'd confuse them is that it's not a nerd in my hand but a little snake. I for one welcome the change." Boscha's face is lit up and you can see fire dancing in her eyes as she says, "Now, like a Banshee, let me hear you SCREAM!"

And Kikimora's scream scatters the birds as a pillar of flame erupts. We don't see the body, to keep it ambiguous and for pacing. Instead, Viney shows up to give a bit of healing and tell them they can go, we've got this. Then everyone leaves and joins back up with Luz to be kidnapped by the Collector.

In this version, we get a real climax and an actual send off to Hexside. Besides Skara, who could be shown coordinating things for a moment, we get a send off of all the named characters we know. I didn't mention Matt but his construction magic is there. So is illusions. So is a lot of types of magic working together, you know, like the show says is better, to pull this off. True unity between more characters than we get in the FINALE. And then a final moment for Boscha to make it clear she's still her but she knows who deserves her rage now rather than using it simply to stay on top.

It is A resolution to the core plot of the episode. You know, that thing that never happened, instead we got the SECOND resolution of Luz's character arc and that was it. Even if people might have still called it filler, it would at least have served as not just a cameo for Hexside but a curtain call for it that also highlights the changes to the kids there that Luz introduced. It would have SOME sort of point besides being there for Willow/Huntlow fans and a very forced "I want to be understood" that only makes sense from a meta perspective and makes Luz look like an over demanding bitch in canon.

But we didn't get anything like that. Why? ...I don't fucking know. I use a lot of words to try to explain shit but I've got nothing for you. The best I can is that it's because the writers felt obligated to include Hexside but no one actually cared about it or its characters and I just don't know why you would write that way, not when you had so much else to wrap up.

But for wrapping up this blog: Boscha continues to be one of the most weirdly nuanced characters of all of TOH and I kind of have to assume at this point it was entirely on accident. If attention would have ruined her, I would rather they disrespect her and let her stand tall as the time the broken clock was right. See you next tale.

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This is your reminder that at chapter 28, Boscha hijacked my over 300k word behemoth, with over 100 chapters, and essentially became the main character of a story that was supposed to be Lumischa. I LOVE writing this bitch and have thought way too much about her.

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