#partially because for all the many romantic movies I grew up with

[nemo-in-wonderland]

ngl, today I am in a Waltz-like sort of mood.

Blame my playlists, but I have been basically mentally imagining my darlings waltzing around ever since I woke up and had coffee.

Could also be that I chose to finish to work on an artwork AND it's kinda connected to the huge brainstorming that I have going on since two days ago.

But still.

WALTZING.

[natasha-in-space]

how would the RFA + minor trio react to a punk MC?

Yoosung

Will be impressed. Yoosung is among those who won't be that surprised to learn about your love for all that is punk. He's the youngest in the group and attends university: he's definitely no stranger to alternative fashion. It is quite different from how he presents himself since he tends to stick to a more casual, soft style of clothing, partially influenced by his parents, who would often remind him of just how important it is to maintain a 'respectable' image of yourself. His parents are pretty traditional in that sense. But, he holds no ill feelings towards those who choose to express themselves differently. He actually finds it kind of admirable! He thinks it is so cool how you found your own unique sense of style and stick to it, regardless of what people think. You inspire him to try out different styles for himself every once in a while. Will go out of his way to buy you some new accessories, or a certain CD you rambled to him about the day before. It'll take him some time to figure out what actually fits your aesthetic, but once he does, prepare to be spoiled rotten.

Zen

Will be surprised. Not so much because of your punk look itself, but because it is so different from the way he pictured you in his own head. Even if you told him about your punk tastes before you first met him face to face, his eyes will still widen and his mouth will fall open a little bit once he sees you. Zen is a huge romantic, so he is a bit guilty of projecting a certain image onto you at times. He wants to be your perfect knight in shining armor, and he wants you to be his prince or princess. It's not a bad thing, though: in fact, Zen will be quick to form a huge soft spot for your edgy look. He can and will dress up to match you. It's not at all a surprise that he can rock a punk look like it's his second nature, and it is also a very fun way for him to recontextualize his teenage years in a more healthy and positive environment. If you're someone who doesn't mind being in the public eye, you two will definitely have a few fancy photoshoots, with his motorcycle in tow. With Zen at your hip, you'll hardly get any weird looks.

Jaehee

Will be puzzled. In her case, it heavily depends on when she'll first learn about you being punk. Telling her about this early on will cause her to be a bit taken aback by it. Jaehee is someone who grew up without many opportunities to express herself, and she struggles with inner shame whenever she does try to do something that is not considered traditionally 'acceptable' in her social circle. The way she presents herself visually is hardly the way she actually feels on the inside. It's partially why she admires Zen as much as she does. He is not afraid to be himself, and she lives vicariously through him. So, she'll be a bit awkward around you at first, as she doesn't want to come off as disrespectful, but, at the same time, it's hard for her to understand why you would choose to present yourself in such a bold way. If you tell her somewhere in between the events of her route, though? She'll be very curious. Jaehee's way of showing her affection for you is by engaging in the things you love, so she'll be very interested in learning all about your choice in how you present yourself to the world, and what it means to you. She's also the type to be very mindful of the tiniest of details, so be prepared to be asked about or complimented whenever you see her with a new accessory or a small change in makeup. Out of everything, I think she will appreciate punk cinema the most. You two will arrange cozy movie dates, during which you will watch your favorite films.

Jumin

Will be intrigued. It might seem like Jumin would be a bit put off by your passion for punk culture, but that's not the case at all! He finds it so interesting and compelling how differently people can present themselves to the world and what communities can arise from it. Furthermore, he's not one to make any judgments upon a person on their looks alone. He'll be looking at you as a person, your clothes and your tastes come way after that. So, he honestly wouldn't react much initially. But, he will be curious, so be prepared for many questions on his part. Some of them are thought-provoking while others are a bit silly. Jumin is someone who loves to learn, and he sees no shame in being open about his own lack of knowledge on the matter. It's rather sweet. You will never feel judged next to him, and he will find it rather foolish how other people can judge you based on your looks alone. If you're someone who's not only into punk aesthetic but punk music as well - congratulations, you have created a monster. I don't know why, but I always thought Jumin would appreciate punk music on a deeper level than others in the RFA. So, Driver Kim will have to get used to him now playing a carefully curated punk playlist whenever Mr. Han needs to get somewhere.

Saeyoung

Will be giddy. It's clear that Saeyoung is well-versed in different subcultures, both for his job and his own interests. His love for expressing himself through clothes, makeup, and accessories makes him very open to experimentation and trying out new looks every once in a while. The possibility of him actually having a few punk-themed outfits in his extensive and clattered wardrobe is not that low. Of course, he'll know about you being punk from his initial research on you, but he won't bring it up until you do so yourself. There won't be much time to discuss this during your stay in the apartment, but once he opens up to you, be ready to get doted on. Saeyoung will gush about your sense of style extensively, and he will ask you for tips concerning his own looks. You two will definitely match from time to time, and he will ask to style you every so often. He just thinks it's so admirable how you found your way of expressing yourself that makes you feel validated. It makes him smile to see you strut your punk outfits. Will do your makeup for you as well! Oh, and how can I not mention punk music and media? Saeyoung will become a huge nerd on those, if he's not one already. You'll never feel bored or invalidated with him.

Jihyun

Will be fascinated. Jihyun is an artist at heart. He adores meeting all kinds of difficult people and finding inspiration in all the contrasting life experiences each individual person holds. If you think about it, you expressing yourself through your clothing and/or taste in media is similar to painting over a canvas. He finds it beautiful to think about. Much like Jumin, he is someone who loves to learn, but his questions can be... a bit strange at times. It's easy for him to get all philosophical and sentimental, so you may be a bit taken aback or overwhelmed by some of his questions at first. It's all in good faith, though. I can't see him getting into punk culture himself, except for the music, but he is certainly a very supportive partner. He will try to engage in your interests in his own 'Jihyun' way, and it may be a bit silly at times, but he's just too much of a sweetheart for you to pay any mind to that. What he is definitely not lacking in is compliments. Oh, boy, does he have a natural talent for turning you into a blushing mess with just a few words. Being an artistic soul certainly pays off when you need to woo your partner with a poetic remark about their new edgy boots.

Ray

Will be enamored. Ray has spent months researching all about you, so he will already know everything of your love for punk culture. He wants to make sure you feel at home in Magenta, so he needs to make sure you'll have everything you need. Is it creepy to see a closet filled with clothing that is suspiciously similar to the one you dress in, and that you probably won't find in your average wardrobe? Yeah, very much so. Not to mention your room, which looks very different from the one we see in the game. Ray worked very hard to make it all perfect for you and your tastes! Whatever you need, he is ready to provide. It can be a bit smothering and overwhelming, and it all will depend on the way you go about confronting him, if you choose to do so. As for the punk aesthetic itself, he won't comment on it much, except for sheepishly complimenting you every time he sees you. You look lovely to him no matter what, and he truly thinks it is so admirable how you have the freedom to express yourself in your own way. He may shyly ask you to let him borrow a jacket or an accessory. Both because it will remind him of you when he's away, and because you encourage him to seek out this freedom of expression through your clothes on his own. He did say that he would dress way more darkly if he was allowed to choose his own clothes. Who knows? Maybe, you will convert him into trying out punk fashion for himself!

Suit Saeran

Will be intimidated. Okay, here's the thing. Suit Saeran dresses the way he does to look powerful and intimidating. He wants to feel superior to you and to all the other believers. If he doesn't feel strong and invincible on the inside, he can at least make it seem like he does feel that way. He will inadvertently project that same mindset onto you, just like he does with everything else. He will think that you are challenging him, or trying to intimidate him. So, he will do all he can to prove you wrong, even if it's all in his head. Unfortunately, he will say quite a few nasty things about your interests, just to get under your skin. It's not justifiable by any means, and he will feel deep shame for his misguided and harmful actions in the long run. Because, truth is, you were nothing but patient and kind to him. You didn't let him bring you down, but you never expressed any hostility towards him either. During his apology, he will mention all of that. He will also quietly compliment you on your aesthetic, a faint blush dusting his cheeks. It won't take away his wrongdoings, but it's a step in the right direction.

GE Saeran

Will be smitten. Much like Ray, he already knows all about your love for punk culture, and he wants to learn everything about it. It's one thing to do research from behind the screen, and completely another to hear you out face to face, seeing your eyes light up and your lips curl up into a smile. And, golly, how he will listen. Saeran is a true listener: he loves to hear you speak, whatever it may be. And, he remembers a whole lot of small details even if you sometimes forget. Saeran wants to try out so many different things now that he's free to do so, as he gets such joy just from the notion of having the freedom to do so. Which is why he is eager to engage with your passions. He doesn't know whether it'll be his thing or not in the long run, but it is so valuable to just try. Fashion, music, film, art - he wants to try it all with you. Of course, he is also very supportive of you as well. Saeran understands the value of having the freedom to express yourself fully more than anyone. His heart swells with love and pride whenever he sees you engaging in something you find comfort in.

Unknown

Will be indifferent. He doesn't care much about how you dress or what you do, as long as you don't slack off on him and don't get on his nerves too much. Unfortunately, you'll have to come to terms with wearing either his clothes or whatever spares some other believers have on them for a couple of weeks. You didn't really have a chance to pack before coming here, and, even then, only those of the higher ranks are allowed to spruce up their clothing choices in Mint Eye. You'll probably get a chance to start up a conversation about your involvement in punk subculture after a few weeks pass, and you two start to get to know one another on a deeper level than just boss/assistant. Believe it or not, he will be a tad bit interested in what you have to say, even if he doesn't show it very vividly, except for an occasional glance in your direction and a low hum rumbling in his throat as he continues his relentless typing. Unknown is someone who is very isolated, so he has no clue about what a subculture even is. Still, if we ignore the oppressive cult environment you two have to survive in for a brief moment, he is definitely someone who would vibe with a punk aesthetic. I can see him enjoying pretty much all about it: the fashion, the music, the art, even some of its ideology. It's a feeling of validation and self-expression he is very new to.

SE Saeran

Will be a little curious. Speaking of which, while you won't have much of a chance to fully include Unknown in the punk culture, the same can't be said for SE Saeran. He's a very cautious and skittish person, but if he trusts you, I can see him bringing up a few timid questions about your clothing choices or music on one day. It's all very new to him, so it's a testament to his trust in you if he's willing to come to you for answers. He's still figuring himself out... and, he's not sure if he'll ever feel fully at peace with who he is as a person, but there are some things he still wants to try. His interest is also rooted in his affection towards you: he wants to learn what you enjoy, and what you love, and he wants to engage in it, however clumsy. It's rather touching. But, I can easily see him genuinely getting into the punk subculture: clothes, music, and all the rest. Being able to express himself is something very new to him, but God, does it feel fulfilling when he puts on an outfit he likes to see on himself. It means a lot to him. You two will probably go out in matching outfits more often than not!

Rika

Will be neutral. Rika is someone who is very accepting of all kinds of lifestyles, as long as it's not harmful. She won't bat an eye at your edgy look, greeting you with the same warm smile she shows everyone else. That doesn't mean she won't address it at all, though. She loves interacting with people, and she loves learning about their passions. So, she will ask you a few questions, complimenting your outfit in the middle of her talk. She does recognize that putting together a cohesive outfit is something that is not as easy as it may look. I do think she is a little bit knowledgeable in the punk subculture, but only the basics of it. She interacted with all kinds of people, so it wouldn't be surprising. Still, she's always open to broadening her knowledge, and she is a very good listener. Out of everything, I think she will appreciate the punk ideology the most. There are several core ideas in the punk subculture that will resonate with her on a personal level. Overall, she will treat you with nothing but respect and curiosity, giggling a little bit at your new outfit and being quick to charm you with a smooth compliment. Will also offer to do your makeup for you!

Vanderwood

Will be nonchalant. Listen, as long as you're a decent person in their eyes, they don't care about your clothing or media consumption. I feel like in the case of Vanderwood, you'll have to be the one to start up the conversation on your involvement in the punk culture, as, otherwise, they won't really say anything about your overall aesthetic. It's more about actions rather than words with them. They will memorize what kind of accessories you tend to combine with a certain outfit: bringing them over to you in case you forget them at home, they will play a band you've gushed to them about while taking you out on a date, and they will watch any movie you recommend. They do genuinely care, and they make sure to show it to you with their actions. I do think they will appreciate punk cinema. You might get them interested in seeing more.

[maxwell-grant]

Having asked your thoughts on designing Frankenstein's daemon, might I now ask your thoughts on bringing Count Dracula from the written word into illustration? (I'm definitely in favour of the 'Hairy Old Mountain Man of Horror pretending he's people' look from the original novel; one of the small tests too many Draculas fail to pass is an absolutely tragic lack of the Evil Beard and/or Wicked Moustache explicitly described by Mr Stoker).

Unlike with Frankenstein, where I think the design needs to be painstakingly thought out in order to achieve the best balance of the creature's traits for horror and tragedy alike, I think with Dracula you can actually just take an approach of "whatever works". Because as I mentioned before, I think much of the appeal and longevity of Dracula is how the character's both a layered villain as well as a shapeshifting narrative force that can be tailored to whatever you want to do with. Granted, there are bad or dissappointing Dracula designs, of course there are, but in regards to the leeway you get for reinterpretation, you get a lot more of it with Dracula than with other literary icons.

Like with Frankenstein, I'm gonna bring up how I'd tackle a less grim, more comedy-centric Dracula first, one that's less a force of horror and more of a charismatic villain, and I think to that end I definitely agree that people are sleeping a lot on the hairy old man barely-passing-off-as-humanoid of the original story. Despite very much loving these performers, I'm actually not a fan of takes that mold Dracula too closely to people who've portrayed him, like Bela Lugosi and Christopher Lee, partially because I think it's a waste of an opportunity to create your own Dracula design. Since I can't draw (yet), I'll do what I usually do and make a board of images to try and convey some of my thoughts on one way I'd design Dracula.

(Pictured: Kiwi's design for Dracula, Hotel Transylvania concept art, Nandor, Castlevania Dracula, Charles Dance in Dracula Untold, Vladislav, a Transylvanian rug)

I used the images in my other Dracula post and I’ll post it here again because I absolutely adore @kiwibyrd's designs for Dracula and it's main heroes, in particular I love the way it strikes a good balance at making sure Dracula looks distinctly separate from the humans, but not too much that he couldn't conceivably operate in society as just a harmless old man. I also adore the mustache and bushy eyebrows and pointy ears and I think these three are wonderful features to keep on any Dracula design. I'm also very partial to the Hotel Transylvania concept art, even if it makes me incredibly depressed to look at all the great designs they had for Dracula that they threw in the trash because they somehow decided making him look like Adam Sandler was the idea to go with.

I deeply adore What We Do In The Shadows, both the movie and the show, and Jemaine Clement's Vladislav is one of my favorite (maybe even my actual favorite) on-screen Draculas. But I also enjoy Nandor just as much, and I think it's really great that as a character he's completely different from Vlad while also being ostensibly a take on Dracula, and in particular I bring up his Jersey look because "Dracula in common clothing" is a criminally underrated concept for a joke.

As a character, I'm very partial to comedy takes on Dracula that play him up as a decadent aristocratic supervillain, the kind that can get away with talking in third person. I also have this idea for a version of Dracula who dresses ostentatiously in finely-broidered Romanian or Transylvanian patterns, maybe even wearing a rug as a cape, claiming that he's carrying the legacy of his people on his back. And of course he's lying, he's not Vlad Tepes and he's not even Romanian, he is just a parasite pretending to have a history to be proud of, but good luck getting him to admit that. And finally, I'd like this version to be played by Charles Dance, and I consider it a tremendous crime against humanity that he has yet to play Dracula proper even despite being in a film with the character's name on the title.

So that's kinda how I would design a take on Dracula for something more comedic or more based around him as this guest character and personality on-set. Now, if we're talking a more serious version, I think the possibilities increase, and I won't be getting into all of them because I may prefer to keep them to myself, but I'll elaborate a few ideas.

For example, the edition of Dracula I personally own comes with these really scratchy, really creepy B&W illustrations related to the story, that I can't find scanned online so I'm uploading them here so you can look at. They don't necessarily depict the scenes but rather some of the story's moments, like Van Helsing staking Lucy, Renfield in a straightjacket, Dracula as a coachman, and they are more focused on conveying the horror of the concepts at play.

Dracula never looks the same way in any of the illustrations, in fact you kinda have to piece him out of them by trying to find teeth or capes or eyes or bat-features to see where he's hiding this time. In the first, it's the half-man half-bat, in the 2nd, he's the shrieking bat silhouette next to Renfield, and in the latter, he's the gaping jaws and eerily humanoid eyes in the wolf. The effect to me almost feels like if you were to look at a bunch of tv static and then see a humanoid shape form for a split second before everything went back to normal, something like you'd get from Slender Man or other modern creepypastas, and I’ve argued before that Dracula’s form of horror is a very modern one. 

In terms of illustrations of Dracula that keep up the original traits while still pulling off horror, I definitely have to hand it to the one at the left of the image above, drawn by regourso on Deviantart (account deleted at present). Going back to Castlevania’s many takes on Dracula, two in particular that stick out to me would be Castlevania: Judgment’s armored dress Dracula, who’s got this great twisted heart/rose motif going on in his outfit, and Dracula’s final form in SOTN where he just sits in his throne and his cape twists into all these monsters, particularly how it’s depicted by witnesstheabsurd’s depiction. 

I’m not particularly a fan of how Dracula’s “final form” in these games is usually just some big demon, and part of what I like about his final form in SOTN instead is that, while it’s not a particularly challenging final boss, I do find it interesting the idea of us never actually getting to see what Dracula’s true final form looks like, only an ever-shifting pitch-black torrent of teeth and claws and bloody veins pouring out because that’s ultimately what Dracula is and brings to the world.

On the flip-side of the rotten old monster, we have the charming seductor Dracula, and while I’m really not a fan of how various adaptations have convinced people that “the point” of Dracula is that he’s a seductive force and an allegory for Victorian xenophobia and I’m reeeally even less of a fan of adaptations that make Dracula some misunderstood tragic hero (and I think I’ve made rather violently clear my feelings on interpretations that play up a romance between him and Mina), that the seductive force part exists is impossible to deny, so conversely, while on one hand we can have Dracula as the gargantuan whirlwind of predatory violence, we can also go for Dracula as the tantalizing lover.

I’ve seen a lot of opinions proclaiming Frank Langella as the best Dracula because he was the best at actually being seductive while still playing Dracula, although I haven’t yet seen his performances. If I had to point at one picture I look at and do buy for a second the idea of Dracula as a romantic character, it would be that particular still of Raul Julia in the left of the above image. And it’s strange for me to think of Raul Julia as attractive because I mainly associate him with his brilliant comedy performance of M.Bison (I know it’s far from the highlight of his career but, look, I grew up with Street Fighter, I can’t help it) but those eyes are definitely looking pretty convincing to me, if nothing else. 

And I’ve included this still of Sebastian Stan in the right because, during a conversation between me, @krinsbez and @jcogginsa about who could be a good fit for Dracula, jcog suggested Sebastian Stan, partially because he’s Romanian, and I’ve learned recently that Stan was actually interested in playing the character in Blumhouse’s upcoming remake. And you’d think I’d hate this idea  considering how much I don’t care for tragic anti-hero Draculas, but who says that’s what he’d have to play? 

Do you have any idea how much actors, who are traditionally known for heroic or supporting roles, usually LOVE it when you give them a chance to cut loose as the main villain?

I’d want Sebastian Stan to put all of his charm, all of his talent, all of his good looks and etc, into playing the absolute most vicious, bloodthirsty and irredeemable Dracula put on screen. Someone who is exceedingly, eerily good at being a lovable protagonist, who’s all smiles and charming eyes and politeness mannerisms and maybe even a funny accent, and then it isn't as funny when he's flying through your window intent on kidnapping babies to feed to his brides, except he may take a moment or two to do so because he's feeling pretty hungry himself right now.

Now, admittedly this is kind of a lot to juggle in regards to a single character, which is why my answer for questions like these inevitably has to be “depends on what I’m going for”. That being said, if I was going to try and cast someone who I think could both look the part of Dracula, as well as respectively, play “cartoon aristocrat” Dracula, “mercurial embodiment of evil” Dracula, as well as realistically be an attractive, even seductive performer who can charm viewers even as the character descends into horrible villainy, and juggle these performances even?

I think I’d have to go with Mads Mikkelsen. Not specifically because of Hannibal (I actually haven’t watched it yet), although it’s definitely a factor, the thing that actually made me pick him specifically is, other than his looks, his voice, his reputation for playing sinister characters, the fact that he loves the role and wants to play it, or how many people are deeply in love with this man, or that people already joke that he looks like a vampire, was watching him in Another Round, and specifically that glorious final scene where he’s just dancing to his heart’s content and just, moving with such spring in his step and such joyful vitality even though he’s past his mid-fifties, and that was the moment where, in regards to how much you all love this man, I went

And now I am going to add “casting Mads Mikkelsen as a dancing Dracula” to The List of Reasons Why I Became a Filmmaker.

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Hi! I hope you’ll answer this question bc it bothers me quite a lot.. https://www.quora.com/What-does-it-mean-now-that-BTS-are-partial-owners-of-Big-Hit-Entertainment do you think it is true what the second person (Christine Herman) said? After reading this, i started to wonder…what if BTS does really have only profit in mind while doing new projects these days? Maybe they don’t really care anymore about creative and meaningful lyrics and sound? With Butter and PTD…all this generic music sung in English. Of course they say “we wanted to make fans feel good”, “butter and ptd represent who we are” and all these things fans want to hear but.. do you really think it’s true? moreover, don’t get me wrong, i don’t find product placement in their reality shows as something terrible, i believe this is a normal thing, however, nowadays the members really film ads and do marketing a lot. so yeah, for some reason i began to question their integrity dhsjjss i hope you will understand from where my concerns come from and won’t find this ask stupid sjdjjdjd

After reading that persons answer I can immediately tell you that I basically don't agree with an overwhelming majority of what she said (even more so since a lot of it just makes her sound like a manti that hates the company and basically would want them to make music for free or something). Generally I don’t agree with most of the opinions this person holds, and also Quora really isn’t a good source for info or good opinions, most of it is written by mantis, haters, and toxic shippers with an agenda so most ARMY will tell you to stay as far away from that website as possible.

Anyway, her focus in that answer was on money, since BTS are shareholders (and how that’s a conflict of interest despite other artists doing the exact thing but no one really cares or ever thinks about it), but what she failed to consider and note was that Big Hit Music, so BTS' label, isn't part of HYBE in the sense that shareholding has no baring on it since BHM is private. So while BTS profit off of HYBE doing well, and have a small percentage of a voice as shareholders, that has nothing to do with BHM in the classical sense, even if BHM's earnings reflect well on HYBE numbers and the shareholder money. 

BHM was made private to ensure their artistry would remain untouched, that was the whole point of that.

Even if they weren't HYBE shareholders, take Namjoon as example. He has more than 170 KOMCA credits, is among the top 3 Korean artists with the most credits and is also the youngest of them all. It is said that his earnings from that alone can sustain his family for 3 generations over. Look at Hobi and Chicken Noodle Soup, that song was a hit and he paid the original creator of that song 2 million dollars upfront and earned a lot back due to how successful it was. Same goes for Hope World which, again, was and is still immensely successful. Look at Yoongi and his work both as prod. SUGA, featuring artist SUGA, and as Agust D, as well as the credits he holds for his work on BTS songs (giving him as well a total of over 100 KOMCA credits, just like Hobi). Bangtan have worked and continue to work extremely hard for their music, put their heart and souls into it, and it shows even if their style changed as they grew older and more mature.

Yes, money is a major motivator, but looking at the above paragraph, do you really peg the members as these corrupt money hungry sellouts with no music related integrity? Who would need to sign major deals and would throw away their passion to just release empty shells of music for the sole reason of money? Am I naive enough to believe that they don't care about money? Of course not, we live in a capitalist society and even if BTS wouldn't care about money anymore at this point, HYBE very much does, and yet still I can't find it in me to agree with any of what was said in that answer that person wrote.

More below the cut:

And that point about how Hyundai cars were sold out because of BTS, isn't that the point why literally any company ever hires celebrities to advertise and endorse their product? And sure, again, I'm certain they earned a lot on these deals, they aren't the first or last or only ones in the history of ever to do so. Besides, look at JK and what he's done for small companies, or Tae who wore a brooch made my a small creator at the airport which catapulted that creator into the eyes of millions of ARMYs enough so that they could move to a proper studio and earn money with their work. Or the modern hanboks JK wore which led to the brand being able to move into actual stores in malls because of their sudden new popularity and demand. Or him wearing a bracelet that helps whales with a percentage of the money from the sales of said bracelet. And for all of that JK and Tae didn't earn any money at all. JK himself said that he's more conscious of the brand he wears now because he wants to help smaller businesses in these trying times, not because they pay him to do so (especially since they would never be able to afford that), but because he's aware of the influence he has and how he can use it to help others. Sound very much like a capitalistic villain, right?

As for the product placement bit, have you been on YouTube recently? Have you noticed that many, if not most, YouTube videos by “bigger” creators (and by that I mean even people who are around the 100k subscriber mark) begin with them thanking whoever sponsored that particular video and give you a scripted minute to two minute long ad before getting into the actual topic of the video? And In The SOOP featuring Chilsung Cider, FILA clothes and the random mention of how good Samsung phones are isn’t much different from it, though really, if you’re not someone interested in fashion much, would you really notice or care that they wore FILA? It’s just...clothes? If it weren’t a BTS related show, would you even notice it much? And it’s not even like they mentioned those brands every five minutes or anything, just a few times, which sure sounded a bit out of place at times, but personally I thought it was easy to look past. That’s just how things work nowadays and it’s odd for people to behave like somehow BTS are the first and only ones to use product placements despite literally every movie and show doing it in subtle and less so manners.

The answer by that person you sent also mentioned the Hyundai song for their car IONIQ and, unsurprisingly, that person wrote it off as just some commercial jingle but I’d actually disagree with that. Not to sound like a Hyundai and Samsung stan, which I am neither of, but I actually think those two knew best how to utilize the artist they have spent millions on signing a deal with. Hyundai didn’t just write them off as pretty faces with a millions strong fan army behind them and that’s it, they remembered that they are musicians so they gave them a song and made a whole music video for it as well. And say what you will, it is a good song. Then, just a few days ago, Samsung stepped up their game and we were given Over The Horizon Prod by SUGA of BTS. For those who aren’t Samsung users, Over The Horizon is their signature ringtone and basically their company sound, and over the years different artists were asked to make their own version of it. And this time they reached out to Yoongi and asked if he’d like to do it as well. It’s kind of a big deal. Sure, Butter is used in one of their commercials much the way Dynamite was last year, but that’s beside the point. Would that person make the same claim about Imagine Dragons whose song Believer is also part of the ads for the new Samsung phones? I have my doubts.

Furthermore, and I don't want this to come across as mean toward you but, I think it is uncalled for to question their artistic integrity based on a total of 3 (three) English songs when last year alone we received 50+ songs, most of which were in Korean, among them the entirety of BE which was, according to the members, the album they were most involved in ever when it comes to both music and everything around it.

You can dislike their English songs, that’s more than fine, they have a very extensive discography you can listen to instead, but questioning their integrity based on them doing something that most, if not every, artist on their level does (as in sign ad deals with brands etc) is a bit much if you ask me. Does that mean indie artists whose songs get picked up for commercials (or for Netflix shows or movies) and thus it catapults them into the mainstream are also just money hungry people with no integrity and ones who don’t care about their music? Or is that, again, just a standard Bangtan is held to (as in that their integrity is questioned based on everything, even the most trivial/normal things) that only applies to them and no one else?

In the recent Weverse Magazine article about how Permission to Dance came to be there is a lot of talk about not only that song but also Butter and Dynamite, among the things being discussed and talked about they mentioned how the original lyrics for Butter were much more materialistic but that the members didn't like that so they asked for that to be changed. Likewise the original lyrics for Permission to Dance, as you'd expect from the penmanship of Ed Sheeran, were much more romantic, almost proposal like, which wasn't what the members wanted either so it was, again, adjusted in a way that would fit what they, as well as the A&R team, wanted. While you may not like these songs, they still had a say in them to a certain degree, could say yes or no and ask for adjustments. Why else would PTD take eight months?

While they might outsource their English songs, their main focus, so their Korean (as well as Japanese) discography is still centered around them, their lyrics, their songs, their sound. Of course you’ll also find outside producers and some lyricists on those as well, because that’s how music works these days, as in collaboratively, that doesn’t change anything at large. Their integrity is still very much there, their hearts are still in it, what other reason would any of them have to say that they want to continue for a long time, for Yoongi to say they want to figure out how to make their career last as long as possible, for JK to say that he wants to sing forever?

Admin 2 also wanted me to add that in their opinion, to a certain degree (though not fully of course), their English songs are like a way to laugh at and expose how shallow the English-centric music industry is. As in, while they made music in Korean with deep and meaningful lyrics, the US industry didn’t care but once they switched to easy to listen to sound with easy to understand English lyrics, they suddenly paid attention, are played on the radio, and even received a Grammy nomination which they wouldn’t have gotten for a Korean song ( A1: regardless how much Black Swan or Spring Day really would’ve deserved it...). 

[shellyb04]

And here we are, all caught up. You'll notice I fell into a bit of a Chinese drama and historical hole for these last ones! I will try to post as I finish shows so I can give a bit more of a review. Enjoy!

A love so romantic (Cdrama)-Girl pretends to be a long lost granddaughter of the Gu family and falls for the Gu family heir. 8/10 Very funny. The last ten episodes get a bit annoying with dumb amnesia and such, but overall really funny main couple.

The Greatest Love (Kdrama)-An A-list movie star with a heart condition meets former girl group member and now most disliked celebrity. Against all odds, he falls for her. 9/10 This is extremely funny and a bit tropey, but it gets major bonus points for the ending. There's no crazy amnesia or unreasonable misunderstandings. Their dilemma at the end makes sense and wasn't dragged out for too long. There was a bit in the middle where she was trying to reject him that dragged for me and I didn't like the other girl group members very much. But overall, really fun.

The Rebel Princess (Cdrama)-A princess is forced to marry a general turned prince instead of her childhood sweetheart prince. They ultimately fall for each other and endure war, kidnapping, betrayal, and every other kind of misfortune that can happen in a historical drama. 9/10 This drama was refreshing because the couple was so amazing together. They were kind as well as cunning. They were the only characters not seeking power and I just loved the way they worked. It does get a little draggy during some of the palace politics. I also think some of the villians didn't think through their plans. But overall, the leads made the show. Although there are some genuinely heartbreaking moments and too many women committing suicide.

Love Script (Cdrama)- A CEO gets into an accident and believes he's a Prince from the Ming Dynasty. A psychologist is hired and she becomes part of the palace staff in order to treat him. But she begins to fall for him. 8/10 I liked all the characters. It's a really light show and there's a couple of plot twists that ultimately made the lead romance work for me. There were a few too many flashbacks and I found myself skipping through them a lot.

A Girl Like Me (Cdrama)- Ban Hua has three failed engagements, partially because of her blunt manner and explosive temper. She begins getting visions of the future and uses them to save her family from trouble, along with Rong Xia who has his own agenda...but will he be distracted by Ban Hua!? 8.5/10 I really liked this one. The story moved along rather quickly. I love that the Ban family are perfectly happy in their little sphere of life. They adore each other and simply want their family to be happy. The only real negatives are that I don't think some of the villain plots made sense especially toward the end and I thought the last two episodes should have wrapped up the story not made more characters power hungry and foolish. Overall, I really liked it, especially Ban Hua and Rong Xia's banter and courtship.

My little happiness (Cdrama)-An intern lawyer and a successful neurosurgeon who were childhood sweethearts meet again as adults only she never knew his name. Watch the duo fall in love. 8/10 This is a pleasant little ditty with no big problems. The relationship between the main girl and her best friend feels super real to me. I love both main couples. It's a simple sweet sappy love story. There's never any doubt how it will end so just enjoy the sweetness.

Oh! My Sweet Liar! (Cdrama)-Historical- A female painter infiltrates the home of a noble family to paint a copy of a precious item. When her escape goes wrong, she fakes a pregnancy by the family heir to save her life. They make a contract marriage so he can escape an arranged marriage he doesn't want. But there are secrets and plotting people throughout the family home. 8.5/10 I really liked the majority of the show. It was a bit slow the second arc of the show and really the last three eps could have been a bit more streamlined, but I loved the Li family. It was so nice to see the love between the family.

Shopaholic Louis (Kdrama)- A wealthy heir gets amnesia and is found by a poor country girl newly arrived in Seoul to look for her brother. The two fall for each other while searching together. 8.5/10 Super cute. I loved the main couple the whole way through. The side characters grew on me as well. It was a nice sweet story overall.

Love in Time-Cdrama- Writer and a CEO were friends in Jr high but had a falling out. Present day they enter a contract marriage. 8/10 A point bump for 30 minute episodes. The story was sweet and simple with a few pleasant turns. The last episode is a bit dumb. I would've rather just had more epilogue than a faked amnesia plot. I liked the side friendships, but wish the "villain" had a better motivation. Just " I loved him and worked hard for him so he should be mine" obsession got old. The tropes were in full display so avoid if you hate those.

Love and Destiny-Cdrama- A young immortal wanders into the wrong place and awakens the God of War. He discovers a secret about her even she doesn't know. The two fall in love, but bad things happen. Can they overcome destiny with love? 7/10- This one seemed to be a bit long at 60 episodes and it took WAY too long to get started. But by episode 14 or 15 I was completely into the love story and most of the side characters. The two "villains" were annoying but ultimately I understood their choices even if I felt they were immature. Overall, it's good, but a little too slow in some places and the last ten episodes could have given me some more couple moments.

Divorce lawyer in love (Kdrama)- She's a tough as nails divorce lawyer and he's her office manager until she goes to far in a case and her license is suspended. Three years later she's the office manager and he's the lawyer and he sees his chance for some payback.. Enemies to friends to lovers. 8/10 It has its funny moments. I enjoy most of the "case of the week" stories. I thought the resolution to the main antagonist was a bit hand wavy, but overall, solid and enjoyable with mostly fun side characters.

The Sword and the Brocade (Cdrama)- A concubine's daughter marries a Marquis in an arranged marriage. She has to deal with conniving concubines, controlling mother and mother-in-law, as well as a family that doesn't want her around, and a rival family all while trying to continue her embroidery career. 7.5/10 Started out fairly strong but toward the end it felt really drawn out. I feel like the last two plots should have been more combined cause it really dragged the pace of the show down. The characters were good. I liked most of the characters a lot, but a few began to make weird decisions toward the end.

The Eternal Love (Cdrama)- Modern woman sucked to alternate past where she has to share her doppelganger's body. The two with the help of their maid try to figure out what's going on. But things are complicated as each soul is in love with a different prince.,-6/10 The story is okay, although the last four episodes are weird. Chemistry with the leads is fabulous. Really not great production quality. I couldn't get through Season 2.

Eternal Love/Ten Miles of Peach Blossom (Cdrama)- Bai Qian and Ye Hua are star crossed immortals who fall in love in three different but intertwined lives. 9.5/10 Started off slow, then got wonderful about ep 10, then pain and misery for a few eps before back to joy and falling in love and back to pain. But one of the best revenge scenes by Bai Qian! I sort of hated that basically every other couple seems doomed. I tried to watch the pillow book before this and just got bored. I may go back to it someday as I love that couple.

General's Lady (Cdrama)- independent noble sent to marry the "demon" general at the border only to fall in love with him. However there are factions trying to harm them. 9/10 Super light and sweet with lots of kisses. I got a bit bored a little past the middle of the drama when they went back to the capital. But the last several episodes brought me back around and I laughed out loud multiple times. Love all the couples throughout and how it showed there were multiple ways to be a strong woman.

[northlight14]

A love for love

Description: Roman loved love. He always had, even as a small child. So why was it so different whenever he was involved?

TW: panic attack, mention of making out but nothing is actually shown, cursing, questioning, unrequited love, let me know if I should add anything else

Ships: unrequited royality, platonic roceit, dukeceit

Genre: high school au

Prompt: prompt 6, aromantic (prompt by @pridewrite2021)

Roman loved love. He always had. Even as a small child, he'd watch wide eyed as Prince Charming leaned down and gave sleeping beauty true loves kiss, something so powerful that it was able to break an evil witches curse. He'd stayed up till early hours in the morning, squealing with excitement as he read about two warriors able to take on an entire army, motivated by their want to keep the other safe and stealing glances at each other as their metal swords collided with the enemies weapon. He'd sing his heart out when a romance song came on the radio, gushing about their love interest with such emotion that Roman adored.

Yes, Roman loved love.

So why was it so different whenever he was involved?

The earliest memory Roman had of this was when he was in first grade. Two of his classmates ran up to him giggling as they sang "Savannah has a crush on you!" Instead of feeling that overwhelming joy like the ones described in his books and music, he felt a deep cutting disgust in his stomach. Roman felt less like he could conquer the world and more like the world was going to swallow him whole. Rather than singing any great love song that he'd sang so many times in his room or in the car, he began crying instead while the two girls looked at him in confusion.

"It was just because I don't like her." Roman told himself.

But this feeling of being out of place only grew as his fellow classmates gushed about their boyfriends and girlfriends, crushes and which cartoon character they find cute. Granted, they were in second and third grade, so the terms "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" roughly translated to "they let me borrow their crayon at break once and now we're in love and going to get married." However, this love for love spread like a virus and Romans desire to fit in only grew. So, during a sleepover with his friends, Roman looked upon the TV, at the princess Aurora and decided 'She'd make a good crush.' Before announcing it to the crowd of toddlers, the words immediately sounding wrong as he spoke them, as if he'd spoken them in a foreign language. He decided that night to never speak of his supposed "crush" ever again. Roman liked Aurora with Prince Philip much more, anyway.

Roman was in fifth grade when he was talking to one of his best friends, Valorie. The two of them just laughing and joking when his friends approached.

"Who's your girlfriend, Ro?" one laughed, putting his arm around Roman. And he knew it was a joke. He knew that. But it still felt like the arm hadn't wrapped around his shoulders and instead knocked all the air out his lungs in one hard punch. This moment lingered in his mind like a haunting apparition, quickly causing any friendships with girls to become strained. First only talking occasionally while in class or on the yard, to only talking when his guy friends weren't around, to only texting outside of school to nothing at all. Roman mourned these friendships but it had been made clear that boys and girls couldn't just be friends and the idea of people thinking he was dating any of these people made him feel like a caged bird.

Later that year Roman decided, despite his love for love, he didn't want to date. The reason for this being...

"I'm just more focused on my career."

"I just don't see the point in dating right now."

"I've never really liked anyone so what's the point?"

"I just like being more focused on myself."

And any other excuse he could possibly come up with, repeating them as many times as he needed to to believe them. Roman had always been a good actor, after all. But, of coarse, with this supposed decision came "reassurance" from adults, as if they had the ability to see the future.

"You just haven't met the right person, yet."

"You'll change your mind one day, when you get a bit older."

"All kids say that at your age."

"Roman isn't interested in dating YET."

These invalidating promises made Romans blood boil the more he heard them. It was as if he was yelling while trapped in a soundproof box, unable to escape. But, despite what seemingly everyone around him was saying, Roman knew deep down that romance just wasn't for him.

He also remained thankful that this love for love hadn't infected his friendship too much.

That was until seventh grade when what was originally a few cases of a love for love became an epidemic. It seemed that all anyone wanted to know was "do you have a crush on her?" "Did you hear that Lily and Reese are going out?" "Do you find her attractive?" This soon made its way over to his friends as they talked about how hot the girls were and teased each other relentlessly about who they liked. Roman once again felt like an outsider in his friend group. His friends conversations about their girlfriends may as well have been spoken in Latin.

Then the day came when his twin brother, Remus, came out as gay and started dating a guy named Janus. It then occurred to Roman.

"Maybe the reason I haven't been feeling anything for all these girls was because they were girls! Maybe I like boys instead!" Roman had never been a very logical person but this definitely seemed to make more sense. If he didn't like women then that surely must mean that he liked men instead, right? Because otherwise...otherwise Roman didn't know what that meant.

So Roman tried. Really God damn tried to find boys cute, to fantasize about dating them, to relate to gay experiences. But all he was met with was the same foreign and hollow feeling he'd felt when he lied about having a crush back in 2nd grade. Roman quickly began feeling his love for the concept of love diminish.

So when Roman entered grade 9, he decided to put anything to do with his romantic feelings (or lack there of) in a little box in the back of his mind to deal with later. Instead putting his passion and good acting skills to use by joining his schools drama department. The moment he stepped foot on stage, he felt himself come alive. The crowd, the praise, the creativity, it was addicting.

And it was only made better with the more friends he made. There was one person who he grew partially close to. Patton Heart. The two quickly became best friends, often hanging out outside of rehearsals and texting non stop. And, for the first time in what seemed like years, Roman was happy and comfortable.

That was until 10th grade. Roman way lying on his bed watching Netflix on his phone when a message from Patton came through. Roman clicked on the message and was caught massively off guard as he read it.

Patton: hey, Roman. So I've been thinking a lot lately. In particular about us and about you. And over the past few months I've started to realize that I have a really big crush on you. You're really handsome, funny and talented and I love spending time with you. It's totally ok if you don't like me back, but I figured it's better to be honest.

It should've been it. The moment when one of the main characters confesses their feelings for the love interest and they proclaim they feel the same way. Sparks fly and their hearts beat faster with excitement. It all becomes so clear when they hear that confession in movies and books.

But this wasn't a movie.

Roman felt time stand still as he read the message, his hands shaking so much he didn't think he would be able to respond even if he knew how to answer.

He couldn't breath. Why couldn't he breath?! The edges of his vision went fuzzy as he desperately gasped for air.

"Patton's great." He thought through his suffocating panic. "He's funny and charming and sweet. You should like him. Why don't you like him? What's wrong with you?!" Romans thoughts yelled as he tried desperately to hold back the tears threatening to spill over.

Not sure of what else to do, Roman ran to Remus' room, hoping he'd know how to respond.

Roman knocked on his brothers door and Remus responded with a very annoyed "come in" after a few beats of silence. Remus and Janus were sat on Remus' bed and Roman could tell from their slightly red lips that the two had been making out. But he wasn't in the headspace to even pretend to care that he'd interrupted them right now.

"Ugh, what do you want?" Remus said, clearly too irritated by his brothers presence to notice his distress.

"P-Patton just messaged me s-saying he likes me and I don't know what to say." Roman barely stuttered out, trying desperately not to cry in front of Remus and his boyfriend.

"Aw, cute. Roro finally got a man." Remus joked but Roman was definitely not in the mood for that kind of humor.

"Do you like him back?" Janus asked, calmly, clearly taking more notice of Romans distress.

"Well, I do. But not like that."

"Ok, so just tell him that. It doesn't have to be this whole thing. Why are you getting so upset?" Remus said, looking at Roman as if he was stupid.

Which, to be fair, Roman did feel very stupid right now.

"He's my best friend. I don't want to upset him." Yeah, that was the reason Roman was freaking out. He just didn't want to hurt Patton. That was it.

"Well, just say you don't want a relationship right now or some shit. Besides, he's probably more worried now because you've taken so long to answer." Remus pointed out. Yeah, Roman was never coming to Remus with his problems ever again.

"Yeah...ok." Roman said. Slowly, he walked out the room, noticing Janus looking at him curiously but deciding not to focus on it.

Roman: I'm really sorry Patton, but I don't feel the same way. We can still be friends tho. It doesn't have to be awkward between us. Especially because I really like being friends with you.

Patton: Yeah, that's ok. This is kinda what I was expecting to be honest. But yeah, I still wanna stay friends.

A few days later Janus came over again for dinner. Afterwards, Roman went into the living room and sat on the couch, scrolling through Instagram.

To his surprise, Janus followed after him and sat next to him. "So, how are you feeling after a few days ok. Broken his heart yet?" Janus teased.

Roman huffed out a laugh. "Uh, yeah, we agreed to just stay friends. Which I'm happy about but it's also really weird. I honestly don't know where we go from here which sucks because I really like Patton. Just not like...that." Janus nodded in understanding.

"You must care about him a lot if you had a panic attack just because you didn't want to hurt his feelings." Janus said. Roman just shrugged in response. "So, does that mean you like someone else?" Janus asked.

"No...I. I don't know. I've...I've never really liked anyone. I don't think I ever will. And people say I'll change my mind but...it isn't like I've made a choice. I've felt like this my whole life and everyone around me has had a crush on someone by now. I just... don't think I was built for romance. Which I know probably sounds stupid but that's just how I feel." He said, so honest it almost hurt.

Janus nodded slowly, taking in what Roman was saying. "It doesn't sound stupid." He said before pausing, as if considering his next choice of words. "Roman...have you ever heard of the term aromantic?" He asked.

"No." Roman answered, looking at Janus curiously.

"It basically means someone who experiences little to no romantic attraction. So they don't get crushes and stuff like that." He explained.

Roman felt his heart leap and for once it wasn't because of a fight or flight reflex. "Wait, that's a thing?" He asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, a surprising number of people identify with it. I don't want to assume anything but I thought I might mention it just from what you've told me and what Remus has said in the past. Plus that panic on your face yesterday reminded me a bit of when I tried to force myself into romantic situations with girls." Janus smirked to himself.

That night Roman researched more on aromanticism than he did for his science test. The more he searched, the more it just made sense. Of coarse, he still had a long way to go towards self acceptance. Roman could feel himself already starting to mourn the idea that this was a choice he'd made ages ago and he was going to feel romantic love one day. It was an odd feeling, realizing that even though he knew deep down it wasn't a decision and he'd always hated when people made those comments, a part of him took comfort in adults promising that he'd change his mind one day. He was also horrified to realize that he didn't know what his future was supposed to look like now without romance. After all, media seemed to show single middle aged adults exclusively as depressed and lonely. But as he scoured through wiki articles to tumblr pages to memes, he knew this was a good start to unlearning any nonsense society had been shoving down his throat.

The more Roman learned and the more people he talked to online about it, the more he started to feel his love for love increase. But instead of it being centered on a prince and princess in a movie, two in love warriors keeping each other alive in a book or a cheesy love song on the radio, it was a different type of love Roman was finally starting to feel the more he accepted himself.

Self love.

Reblog’s >>>> likes

[lokilickedme]

The Queen of Springtown

I’m going to tell you a story.  It’s a true story.  There’s a bit of conjecture here and there to fill in empty spots, but not a lot.  It’s a story about my grandmother - my paternal grandmother, not my maternal grandmother - I feel the need to specify who exactly it is because mom’s mom has a bit of a story too, but that’s for later.

This one’s about the one I’m going to call Elizabeth.  Elizabeth was her middle name, it was a family name, it belonged to her mother and her grandmother I believe, though I didn’t know any of those people so I couldn’t swear by it.  The family records are long gone if they ever existed.

Elizabeth’s last name was one of those romantically ridiculous names that still clung to old families at the turn of the century.  It had a lot of extraneous letters at the end, a handful of unnecessary and partially silent sounds that looked beautiful in the flowery handwritten script of the time, a noble sounding -eaoux that did little more than tag a fancy sounding o onto the back end.  A lot of fuss for such a little piece of sound.  And when Elizabeth’s grandfather moved his family from France to Ireland and signed the manifests upon arrival in the new old land, he dropped the -eaoux and shortened the family’s name to four tiny letters and a single syllable.  They were Irish now.

Elizabeth’s father carried the new name and the new heritage, and when he was of age he went and married an Irish beauty named - yep, Elizabeth.  They say she was redheaded and blue eyed and fair skinned, though no pictures exist to prove it.  All that exists is my grandmother, who supposedly looked just like her mama.  She didn’t remember Ireland...she was too young when her daddy moved his family to a new land just like his own daddy had done, and she never really told anyone she was Irish.  No one actually knew, once her parents were gone.

But you could tell.  She looked it - flame red hair, china blue eyes, fair skin.  She had the bones of whatever French nobility had been in her lineage from way back, but her colors were the Emerald Isle all the way.  A beauty like you’d see in the movies, petite and ladylike and perfectly put together.

But my god that woman had a wild streak that dated right back to the Celts whose blood made up half of what she was.

(continued under the cut because long story)

So Elizabeth grew up in America, the daughter of an Irish mother and a French father.  She had brothers and sisters, quite a few, though I never knew any of them.  I believe I met two of them when I was too young to remember much about the encounter, but I’ve always found it hilarious that one of her sisters was named Bill.  Bill, like the man’s name.  I never found out why and I’m not entirely sure there was ever actually a reason.  It was just one of those things.

The newly American family settled in Texas.  And when Elizabeth was very young - probably not yet in her 20′s, though nobody knows for sure just how old she actually was because it’s likely she tended to fib a bit about her age to get into places she had no business being - she got herself involved with the Texas mafia.

Now let me tell you a thing or two about the Texas mafia.  It wasn’t an official operation - not like the Italian Mafioso or the Eastern Syndicates or whatever the hell was going on between Florida and Cuba at the time.  But it was every bit as dangerous and vicious and bloody and corrupt as any of those bigger organizations, and it was led for the most part by a man I’m going to call Big Joe.

This was the early 1940′s or thereabouts.  Elizabeth was a party girl - up for anything, always out and about, girl-gang at the swing club, the works.  And Big Joe saw her in the club one night, it may very well have been his club she was dancing at, and the proverbial first-sight thing kicked him hard in the gonads.  This girl was a looker, and she was dancing with everyone in the place, whooping it up, living life like tomorrow it was all going to take a header into the sea.  He had to have her.

And he did.

Big Joe was likely in his late 30′s, maybe early 40′s.  There’s not a lot of information on him other than a handful of facts mentioned once and only once by my grandmother to my aunt - that Big Joe was a handsome man, big and tough and a snazzy dresser, and he always had enough money in his pocket to take Elizabeth anywhere she wanted to go and buy her anything she wanted to buy.  And Elizabeth, party girl extraordinaire, was all up for that.

So Elizabeth and Big Joe become a thing.  Everybody knows she’s his squeeze - and suddenly not a male soul in Dallas or the surrounding metropolitan areas will dare to lay an eye on her, not even a quick glance, because she’s Big Joe’s girl.  And that means something.  Elizabeth doesn’t know quite what it means because she’s likely not even 20 yet, but Big Joe is fun and romantic and he takes her on trips and buys her nice clothes.  He buys her a ring, a blood red garnet, a ring that I inherit many decades later.  He’s going to marry her, he says.  She doesn’t care much one way or the other, she’s having too much fun dancing every night in his club, traveling with him, going shopping, rubbing shoulders with the rich and famous of the Southwest.  She’s all but a star, protected and adored.  Big Joe’s men follow her everywhere she goes when she’s not with him.  And Big Joe starts going out of town without her a lot, taking care of business that he never tells her the details of.

She’s cool with that.  He’s a businessman, that’s what he’s always told her.  Things to take care of out of town.  The Boss.  He has a lot of operations to oversee, operations that make all that money he spends on her.

She has no idea what he actually does.

All she knows - or cares to know - is that when he comes back to town he ushers her around town in his big fancy black car, buying her furs and expensive dinners, showing her off to society.  When he isn’t slapping her around...but hey, that’s part of the deal isn’t it?  It’s the 1940′s, and Big Joe is very much a man of the era.  Women grew up knowing they’d have to take the back of a man’s hand from time to time, and Elizabeth knew which side her bread was buttered on.  She kept Big Joe happy, put a smile on his face, did the old grin-and-bear-it on the rest of it.

And then one night Big Joe comes banging on her door.  He’s frantic.  He pushes a set of keys into her hand - keys to the fancy black car that takes her everywhere - and tells her to keep it there, at her house.  Don’t drive it anywhere, just keep it there.  He’ll contact her soon and tell her what to do.

He leaves in another car with one of his men, and that’s the last time Elizabeth ever sees him.

A few weeks later she gets a letter from Big Joe telling her to drive the car into Grapevine Lake, on the far side by the shoals.  Don’t open the trunk, he says.  Put a brick on the gas pedal and put it in drive.  Do it at night and make sure nobody sees you.

That night Elizabeth picks up her best friend and they drive the car to Grapevine to do as Big Joe said, sinking it in the murky green water on the far side of the lake.  The two girls - just girls, barely even women yet - stand on the shore watching it disappear into the deep dark.

A week later Big Joe is shot to death.  A deal gone bad maybe, or a competitor moving into the territory.  Nobody really knows - grandmother never said.  Don’t think I haven’t done my research...I know what I know, and according to a nearly nonexistent little trove of newspaper articles microfiched in a tiny little library in Azle Texas that isn’t even there anymore, odds are very likely that Big Joe went down in a shootout with the Dallas Police Department.

Elizabeth never opened the trunk of that car.  At least she said she didn’t...it’s one of the many things that nobody ever knew or will ever know, because once she shut the door on that part of her life and moved on, it might as well have never happened.  Getting this much out of her was outrageously difficult.  Thanks to my very tenacious and very persevering aunt, what I’ve just told you managed to survive.  It’s very likely my aunt was the only person she ever told, and it’s very likely I in turn am the only person my aunt ever told.  And now my aunt is in her 70′s and in poor health, and this little unknown family story has started poking around at the back of my skull.  I don’t want it to be lost.  I don’t like the idea of soon being the only person alive who knows it.  It’s not a spectacular story, but it’s testament to the fact that extraordinary things happen to ordinary people, probably more often than you’d think - and that those ordinary people sometimes take it all to the grave with them.

Elizabeth - my dad’s mom, my grandmother, the one I look like and act like and laugh like, the one whose cheekbones and eyes and hair and size I was born with, passed away twenty-something years ago.  She lived through some extraordinary things.  After the demise of Big Joe she married an oil roughneck, one of the semi-transient oilfield workers that were prevalent in the Texas Panhandle at the time, and had two children with him - one of whom was my father.  The roughneck was the epitome of the James Dean romantic brooding bad boy type, handsome and manly, but unfortunately also a scoundrel who had a second family in another city that he went to every other month when he traveled to another rig for work.  She left him when she found out.  It was almost unheard of at the time, a young mother taking her two little kids and leaving her husband to be on her own, but she did it.  And when my father was 12 she met and married a very tall, very handsome, very Cary Grant-esque railroad worker who loved life every bit as much as she did.

They were together for the rest of her life.  I’ve never to this day seen two people more in love than Elizabeth and Jesse.  I spent many summers in Texas with them and not a night went by that I couldn’t hear them giggling in the next room after lights-out, talking and laughing quietly until granddad’s wallshaking snores echoed through the house.  It just about killed him when her heart gave out.  But she was old, and she’d lived a life worth living.  There was nothing in her face in those final moments that could ever convince anyone she wasn’t ready and willing to go when the time came.

I’d been married for a couple of years when she died, and my husband and I traveled to Texas for the funeral.  The first night there, as my aunt brought out grandmother’s jewelry box and told me to take whatever I wanted, the story was passed from her to me.  And when it was all told I opened a little drawer in the bottom of the jewelry box and pulled out an old garnet ring that I’d seen before, when I was a small child snooping in grandma’s stuff.  I’d always been fascinated with it...it just looked like it had a story to tell.  That’s it, my aunt said.  That’s the ring he gave her.  That’s all she ended up with.

It was the only thing I took.

The church was so full the next morning you’d have thought it was the final sendoff for some local celebrity.  Everybody loved my grandmother, everybody, but this was sort of astounding.  Some of them I knew from my childhood, from many many summers spent in the Panhandle, but people came from all over to say goodbye and nobody in the family knew who a lot of them were.  They just showed up, some of them cried, some just stood in the back of the church all stoic in black suits.  Some were very old.  And when it was over and I turned around to watch a group of distinctly important-looking old gentlemen quickly and quietly leave the building, I looked over at my aunt and pointed at them.  She arched her eyebrows in that way she always did, that way, the way that said What did I tell you?? - and I wondered if maybe all those years ago some of Big Joe’s men hadn’t pulled that car out of Lake Grapevine and found the trunk empty.

I mean...this is Elizabeth we’re talking about.

[be11atrixthestrange]

Step 8: Navigating Arguments

Also, for all those asks for a Romione first time... this the chapter for you!

From 12 Fail-Safe Ways To Charm Hermione Granger

As your relationship deepens, expect disagreements to surface. All couples fight, but pay attention to the way you fight. Do your best to establish healthy and productive habits by focusing on your own feelings and actions, and never attack your partner's character. Remember that you're arguing with someone you love.

******

Ron and Hermione were no strangers to fighting, and ultimately, Ron was thankful for that. Their friendship was based on an argument— If Ron hadn't called her a nightmare back in their first year, she would never have ended up crying in the girls' bathroom. And if she hadn't been crying in the girls' bathroom, she wouldn't have needed saving from a Mountain Troll.

That was the argument that began their friendship, but there were many more that defined it. In the third year, he thought he'd never talk to her again because her cat definitely ate his rat. But as it turned out, Crookshanks was innocent, his rat was really a middle-aged killer, and he missed her so much that he would have forgiven her even without those valid reasons.

Their fight at the Yule Ball in their fourth year also stood out as a defining moment. Hermione still thought of that as the moment when he finally realized she was a girl, but she was wrong. That was the moment he knew that other people realized she was a girl, and he convinced himself he was entirely undeserving of her attention.

He still cringed when he remembered their estrangement during year six, which Hermione now referred to as 'The Lavender Days." It might have taken a canary attack, but that fight showed him that they ultimately felt the same way about each other. Dating someone else for five months might not have been the most efficient way of discovering that, but it ultimately worked..

They could fight like dragons, but they always resolved them, even back when they just called each other friends. Their fights didn't end when their relationship began, and it would have been naive to assume so.

They argued about where to spend holidays, and splitting their vacation time equally between the Burrow and Australia frequently required a spreadsheet and a third party. They argued about dirty dishes, and messy rooms, and what to make for dinner. They even rowed about muggle movies, and whether to watch a romantic comedy or an action film. Ron only doubled down on his opinion there, because he believed more men needed to admit their love for romance films.

Ginny and Harry jokingly referred to their bickering as foreplay. Despite his initial embarrassment at their observation, he knew there was some truth to it. Their arguments remained a constant feature of their relationship as they progressed from friends to lovers, but making up— that got much better.

Before, when they were just friends, making up meant a handshake, or a hug, or a promise that they could talk to one another again. Now, making up meant hours in the bedroom, under the covers, naked. He'd developed a certain pride in how many ways he could say "I'm sorry," without speaking a word, and she'd gotten quite good at convincing him that all was forgiven.

Today he was pretty confident that they could get through any fight, but it hadn't always been that way. The first few major arguments of their relationship didn't have a solution in sight, and it took time to figure out how to row with one another in a way that didn't deepen their divide. When long estrangements ceased to work, they had to figure out how to fight productively, which took time. Sharing his feedback on their relationship was risky, but Ron soon found out that with that risk, came a big reward.

******

Harry and Ron both moved into Grimmauld Place and started Auror training soon after Hermione and Ginny left for Hogwarts. The long, empty schedules of summer felt so far away when they were suddenly faced with twelve-hour training shifts. Ron jumped into training enthusiastically because it was something to do, and it filled his time enough to get his mind off of missing Hermione.

He looked forward to writing her lengthy letters once a week, describing his days in as much detail as he was authorized to give. It was no substitute for talking to her, but it was the closest thing he had, so he cherished that time. She wrote back too, and he tried to imagine what it would be like to be with her at Hogwarts, based on the details she provided in her letters.

Luckily, Ron didn't have to wait until the Christmas holidays in order to see her. Her birthday fell on the first Hogsmeade weekend of the year, and he was able to get a day off of Auror training to meet her. It was a weekend to remember— they started at the Three Broomsticks, and caught up over a few rounds of butterbeer. Ron learned of all the details about school life that she hadn't mentioned in her letters, and she surprised him by agreeing to take a few shots of firewhiskey. They inched closer to one another with each passing sip, and it wasn't long before Ron was grateful they'd picked a booth in the back of the bar, hidden from view.

He could have stayed there all day, with Hermione in his lap, tasting the alcohol on her breath, but eventually, Madam Rosmerta forced them to leave. Madam Rosmerta who? Ron could hardly remember why the barmaid had caught his attention for so many years at Hogwarts. Bloody mental, he was. Madam Rosmerta was far from his mind when he pulled Hermione into an empty alley behind the bar, slipped his hands behind her thighs, and picked her up. He pressed her back against the brick wall as she wrapped her legs around him, and he wondered how many more secret Hogsmeade snogging spots they'd never gotten the chance to discover.

School must have picked up in October, because her letters were shorter. He still enjoyed reading them, but even more, he wished he could be there to relieve some of her stress— preferably in an alley behind a bar. He did his best to fill in the gaps, kept his letters as long and detailed as possible, and hoped that they'd be able to catch up fully during their next Hogsmeade weekend.

It was the end of October when he saw her again. They had planned to meet at the same place. Unfortunately when he arrived at the Three Broomsticks, the private booth they had enjoyed last month was taken, so he set himself up in one nearby, and simply hoped Hermione would see him.

She came rushing in after Ron had already finished his first butterbeer, and apologized for her lateness. Although he was well aware of her tendency to lose track of time in the library, there was a part of him that felt slightly offended. He didn't want to spend his only day with Hermione brooding, so he ordered a few more rounds of drinks, and listened intently as Hermione filled him in on the details of the previous month. She spoke of her homework load, her Head Girl duties, and lamented her lack of free time to write to him. He slipped his arm around her, stroked her hair, and pushed aside the hurt from earlier. It wasn't long before she was leaning against him, stroking his thigh, and he turned to kiss her.

It wasn't as frenzied as last month. She never made it to his lap, and Madam Rosmerta didn't need to kick them out. When they strolled down the high street, and he tried to guide her into that empty alley, their empty alley, she resisted.

"I have to get back to the library, Ron."

She looked away when she said it, and Ron assumed it was so she didn't have to see his face fall. He sighed.

"That's ok," he said, and he wrapped her in his arms for another kiss before letting her go. It was shorter and more chaste than he wanted it to be, but he cherished the contact either way.

He continued to write to her after that weekend, and she continued to respond, but her letters grew shorter and shorter. It seemed she had written most of them in the library in between essays. Based on her rushed responses, school was overwhelming. She had taken on more NEWTS than anyone else, and it was all starting to catch up to her.

He wanted to believe that was the only reason behind her disappointingly concise letters, but his resentment was growing. He was busy too, and he still looked forward to spending hours writing to her, because had no one else he wanted to share his life with. An old insecurity began to resurface with every hastily written note— he knew it was mental, but maybe she had someone else to talk to, so writing him felt redundant.

Before their November Hogsmeade weekend, Ron booked a room at the Hog's Head. He knew better than to think she'd be able to spend the night with him, but it meant that she could see him two days in a row, and there'd be a place for her to really unwind, away from the prying eyes of anyone at the Three Broomsticks. They still met at the bar, in the same private booth as their first trip.

Even though he expected her to arrive late and slightly frenzied, he was still annoyed when she did. He offered her a butterbeer, partially hoping that she would catch his stiff tone, but she didn't even notice. Hermione started rambling on and on about her schoolwork, her Head Girl duties, and the stress she felt at school. He listened intently as she described her daily life in detail, and he couldn't help but wish she had included it all in her letters.

They left on their own when the pub closed, and no one had to kick them out. Hermione turned toward the road that would take her back to Hogwarts, and Ron reached for her hand.

"Don't go back yet," he said, pulling her back around to face him. "I got us a room."

He expected she'd need some convincing, and was prepared for it.

"Ron, I can't stay the night—"

"I wasn't expecting you to!" he assured her.. 'I just figured we could use some alone time. And then you can come back tomorrow." He tugged on her arm, trying to pull her into his arms, but she resisted.

"Ron, I can't—," she looked at him apologetically. "I don't have any free time tomorrow."

"It's a Sunday, what else have you got?" he was still holding onto her arm, half-heartedly trying to pull her into a hug, but she just stood still, unresponsive to his touch.

"I have a meeting with the prefects, four essays to finish, and I need to start revising for exams."

"That's a lot for a Sunday," said Ron, noting the hint of frustration in his voice.

"Well I scheduled everything on Sunday to make room to see you today, so yeah, it's busier than normal."

Her words felt like a punch in his stomach. "Well thank you for making room for me, Hermione, I'm sorry I'm hard to fit into your schedule."

"Ron," she said, sounding hurt. "You can't be mad about that."

"Well, I'm upset," he returned. Something, whether it be anger, frustration, or hurt was boiling up inside of him. "It kind of sounds like you don't want to be around me."

"That's not true!" she said. "I just wish you had told me."

"I wanted it to be a surprise."

"I hate surprises," she said. "If we had planned this out earlier, I might have been able to schedule around it." She had slipped out of his grasp and was now facing him with her arms crossed.

"Plan it out? You hardly write to me anymore. I have no fucking clue what's going on in your life, how am I supposed to know what your schedule looks like if you don't talk to me!"

She took a step back, looking affronted. "Ron I write to you every week."

"And you hardly say anything."

"Well I'm sorry my letters aren't detailed enough, I'm doing my best to keep up with yours."

Ron froze, playing her words over and over again in his head. She was making room for him. Doing her best to keep up with his letters. Adjusting her schedule to fit him in. All of it sounded like he was just another chore on Hermione's to-do list. A burden.

"Do you still want to be with me?" The words were out of his mouth before he could think to filter them.

She stared at him, her lip quivering. "Of course I do. Why would you say that?"

"It just sounds like I'm stressing you out," he shrugged. He felt his own face burning hot, and even though it felt like a regression of their relationship, he willed himself not to cry in front of her.

"It's not you—," she started.

"Is there someone else, Hermione?" He braced himself for her answer.

"No! How could you think that!" She was crying now. He wanted to run to her and wipe the tears from her face, but he willed himself to stay rooted to the spot.

"I just had to ask," he said, as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

Ron watched the image in his head of how he'd planned the night dissipate. He and Hermione were supposed to be enjoying a bottle of wine in their private hotel room right now. He'd hoped they'd spend this night reconnecting, both verbally and non verbally. He definitely hadn't planned for them to be standing five feet away from each other in a cold alley, arms crossed, and holding back tears.

"I really should go back," she finally said, avoiding his eye contact.

"Fine," he said, resisting the temptation to pull her into a hug, kiss her, and tell her he loved her. He knew she wouldn't respond with the level of enthusiasm that would make him feel any better.

"I'll see you at Christmas."

"I'll see you at Christmas," he responded stiffly. He waited until she walked away before he let his tears fall, and disapparated back to Grimmauld Place.

Ron approached letter-writing with far less enthusiasm after their fight in Hogsmeade, but was grateful for some correspondence, however flat it seemed. They wrote to each other simply to make plans for the Holidays. Hermione was planning to spend the first week of Christmas at Grimmauld Place with him, before spending the second half in Australia with her parents.

He was pleased to learn that he was still invited to visit her parents, but unfortunately, Auror training didn't leave him with a long enough break to join her. His anxiety to see her again was growing, but he had no idea what to expect from their reunion. They had a lot to discuss since their last Hogsmeade date. Although he was committed to a calm conversation, they didn't have the best track record when it came to rational discussions.

Luckily, any tension he felt quickly melted away when she arrived. He felt a wave of relief when she collapsed into his arms as soon as she saw him, almost knocking him over.

"Hi," she murmured into his shoulder.

"Hi," he said, chuckling. "I missed you."

"I missed you too." She held him at arm's length, and lovingly brushed some of his fringe away from his eyes.

Ron smiled and tightened his grip on her waist, tugging her closer. Their lips met, and she moved her hands from his shoulders to his hair, and at least for a few moments, they forgot about any potential arguments on their horizon.

The conversation didn't come up until later that night. When she slid under the covers with him and her head landed on his chest, he automatically turned toward her and tangled his fingers in her hair before kissing her firmly on the top of her head.

"I love you so much," he told her.

"I love you too," she said sincerely. The unexpected wave of relief he felt indicated a fear he hadn't yet recognized he had. "You know that, right?" she continued, now looking up at him.

Her head slid off his chest and they turned to face each other. "Yeah. I know that."

She turned her gaze to her hand, which was tracing the scars on Ron's arm. "What went wrong?"

He knew they couldn't avoid the conversation any longer, so he took a deep breath before answering. "I know you love me, I just didn't really feel that way over the past few months." He felt her stiffen in his arms, and he tensed too, preparing for an angry retort.

But it never came. Instead, Hermione's eyebrows furrowed and she propped herself up on her shoulder. "You don't?" she asked in a small voice.

At this point Ron was aware of his own insecurities, and knew full well that Hermione might call them out. There was a part of him that wanted to shove this conversation under the rug, because he thought he shouldn't be insecure, and it might come across as needy, and she might not find that attractive. But he also knew that this was simply how he felt, it was affecting them, and it was valid even if it didn't make sense to her. He took another deep breath, and spoke with a shaky voice. "I questioned it a lot over the last few months, to be honest."

Hermione's eyes watered with tears, but she didn't say anything. She gently nodded for him to continue.

Ron hadn't really prepared to elaborate, which he now realized was a mistake. He didn't have a solution for her, and he didn't have a reason to tell her that didn't sound like blame. But he had her attention, so he continued, hoping the fact that his words weren't perfectly curated didn't come back later to bite him. "We hardly spoke. Your letters were so short. I couldn't help but feel like you rushed them, which made me worry you thought writing to me was a chore. Then our Hogsmeade weekends didn't go as planned, and I just kind of spiraled into thinking that you didn't miss me, which made me worry that you didn't love me—"

"That's why you thought I had met someone else? I had no idea you felt that way," she said, cutting him off. She snaked her arms around his neck so she was pressed up against him. "I'm sorry, Ron."

"It's ok," said Ron, even though it wasn't.

"I was just so stressed with school, and I couldn't really spend time with you, so I did my best to focus on classes so I didn't miss you too much. I thought if I could just get through this year, then we could go back to how things were over the summer. And honestly, I did think of writing to you as a chore, because it was a horrible substitute for actually talking to you, and just made me miss you more. I dreaded it."

Ron's stomach sank when she said that. Writing to Hermione was his favorite part of the week, and the fact that she didn't feel the same way really stung.

They laid there silently for a while, as neither seemed to have much to say. What was there to say? He hated it when she didn't write, and she hated writing to him. It seemed like there wasn't a solution.

"What do you want me to do?" she eventually asked.

Ron winced. He didn't want to tell her she had to do anything. He just wanted it to be simple.

"Ron, I'm not good at this," she said.

"Not good at what?"

"All of it," she said, motioning around her like she was referring to the room they were in. "I'm not good at being a girlfriend. Reading your mind. Knowing how to make sure you know I love you. Writing it in a letter doesn't feel sincere to me."

"That's not true," he told her. "You're a good girlfriend." Although she had a point, something was missing, and there were many times this past fall when he had felt like he didn't even have a girlfriend. He didn't know if he could make it six more months like that, unless something changed. "I just hate how much happened this fall that I knew nothing about. I just want to know everything. Sorry if that sounds needy."

"So you want me to write to you more. Is it that simple?" she asked earnestly.

Ron groaned. "Hermione, it's not a want. I need you to write to me more."

She looked at him contemplatively. "If it means that much to you, I can do that."

"Really?"

She nodded. "I didn't know how it made you feel when I didn't write."

"Even though you hate writing to me?"

"Ron I don't hate writing to you. It just stresses me out and makes me sad," she turned to look him in the eyes. "But it's better than knowing you feel like this."

"Thank you," he said. He pulled her back in for another hug, this time turning to his back so she was on top of him. It wasn't a perfect solution, but it felt a lot better that she knew how he felt. "I love you."

"McGonagall did say," said Hermione thoughtfully, before she shook her head, evidently deciding against continuing that thought. "I love you too."

"What did she say?" asked Ron.

Hermione sighed. "She said I could use her floo in emergencies. But on second thought, I don't think she would consider needing to see my boyfriend an emergency."

"Can you ask her?"

"Ron—"

"Please."

Hermione sighed, then nodded. "I'll ask her. Because I love you."

Ron beamed at her, then captured her lips with his. A year ago, Ron had just returned to the horcrux hunt, and would never have dared to tell her he needed more from her. Back then, he was simply grateful she was speaking to him, and he figured he'd spend the rest of his life making up for leaving her. They really had come a long way, and maybe he had finally done enough to earn his keep.

Ron felt her snake her arms around his neck, which only made him want to kiss her more fervently, so he did. He pulled the hem of her shirt up and off her head, before tugging at his own, and tossing both to the side of the bed.

He smiled at the view before him. Some things he would never get used to. His lips crashed back into hers before he trailed kisses down her neck, dragging his hand from her breast to the buttons on her jeans. She helped him slide her jeans off until she was down to her knickers, and then shimmied his way back up to her smiling face for another kiss. He kept his lips on hers as he kicked his own trousers off, and when they broke apart, she moved her mouth to his neck. Ron felt her teeth gently bite down into the soft flesh of his neck and he groaned almost involuntarily.

"Fuck, Hermione."

He felt her hand slide down his body and slip inside his pants. She smiled approvingly at his very evident excitement to see her, and shifted lower on his body, trailing kisses down his stomach. Ron propped himself up on his elbows just in time to see her tug his erection free from his pants, and slide her mouth over the tip.

"Merlin," he heard himself say before he collapsed back on the bed in surrender, tangling one hand into her messy hair while the other gripped his bedsheets. His heart rate picked up when she dug her fingers into his thigh, and he knew she had to feel his pulse against her tongue. He quickly lost interest in controlling the volume of his voice, and it didn't take very long before he felt himself spill into her mouth and unleash a string of expletives when she swallowed.

He had barely recovered when she kissed her way back up his torso to his neck. She turned to her back, and tugged his arm so he shifted on top of her. "I love you," she whispered in his ear.

He pressed his lips to her neck, contemplating his many options for returning the favor. "Love you too."

He placed his forehead on hers to look her in the eye, and felt himself growing hard again when she bit her lip and looked at him shyly. "What do you want me to do for you?" he whispered, before leaning in for another brief kiss, gently tugging her lower lip with his teeth when he pulled away. "I'll do anything for you."

Hermione smiled sheepishly at him. "I did the charm."

Ron raised his eyebrows. "The charm?"

She nodded.

Ron felt his stomach tighten in nerves. At this point, they had pretty much done everything they could do without having sex. They'd been dancing around the topic for quite some time, so he had an inkling that it would come up over the holiday. But he stopped himself from getting too hopeful since things had been feeling off between them. "Are...are you sure?"

She nodded again. "Do you know your charm?"

"Yes," he said. "I know it."

"So, you should do it then," she said. "Unless you need more time to recover."

They both glanced down between them, where Ron's erection was awake and ready to go. Hermione chuckled.

"I don't think I need any more time." He shifted off of her and reached for his wand, before pointing it at himself and muttering the incantation that his brothers had embarrassingly made him memorize years ago.

Hermione hooked her fingers over the hem of his pants, and slid them down his legs. He stepped one leg out at a time, until he was completely starkers. Even though she had seen him naked many times before, he suddenly felt exposed. His face was red when he tugged at her knickers. She lifted her hips for him and he pulled them to her ankles, before she kicked them off and onto the floor where the rest of their clothes lay.

He steadied himself on top of her, shifting his hips between her legs. "One more time, you're sure?"

She nodded and opened her legs wider in answer.

Ron looked down and used his hand to rest himself at her opening. "Just tell me if you need me to stop, ok?"

"I will," she said.

He pressed forward, guiding himself slowly into her, watching her facial expressions for any sign of discomfort. When she looped her arm around his back and encouraged him closer, he pressed a little more firmly, and watched his erection start to disappear inside her.

He heard a sharp intake of breath and looked up to see she was wincing.

"Sorry!" he said, and he started to pull out, but she gripped his hips with her hand to stop him.

"No, stay," she said. "Just go slow."

Ron took a deep breath and pressed himself back in until she winced again and he stopped. "Is this ok?"

"Yes," she said, a little more high-pitched than normal.

"Ok," he answered, but he didn't move.

"You can go further."

"I don't want to hurt you," he said as he dropped a kiss to her lips.

"It's not that bad," she said sympathetically.

Ron chuckled. "That's what every guy wants to hear on their first time."

"That's not what I meant," laughed Hermione. She wrapped her legs around his lower back and pressed him the rest of the way, letting out another sharp exhale as their hips met. "Ok, let me get used to you."

Ron stayed perfectly still, save for his lips, which went immediately to her neck as he kissed her right below her jawbone. "Get used to me, huh?"

"Well yes," she said, running her fingernails up in circles on his back. "You're quite big."

"That's more like it," he said. He gently tugged some of the soft skin on her neck between his teeth, and could almost feel her rolling her eyes.

"Ok, you can move now," she said.

Ron propped himself back up on his forearms, and dropped another kiss to her lips, before he slowly started moving his hips back and forth, sliding in and out of her. "This ok?"

She nodded, and he continued. It wasn't smooth or graceful by any means, quite clumsy actually, and Ron was grateful for all the time they had spent in bed together before this moment. He was with the only person he trusted to share this awkward attempt at sex, and the self-consciousness he could have felt was far overshadowed by his gratitude for Hermione in that moment.

He watched her focused expression, which was distinctly different than the one he saw when she was about to let go, and he was relieved that he knew how to please her in other ways. He had a backup plan.

He steadied his hips to kiss her again. "I love you so fucking much," he said when he broke free. He knew he wouldn't last much longer, so he propped himself up on his arms again and picked up the pace of his hips. "Fuck, Hermione," he said as she tightened her legs around him and tugged on his hair, and soon enough he buried his face in her hair, muffling the sound of her name that escaped his lips.

He collapsed on top of her, and she untwined her legs from behind him. With one last kiss, he rolled off to his side, and turned to face her, smiling. "I love you too," she said. He ran a thumb across her cheek.

He smiled. "That was brilliant. For me."

She simply smiled.

"I'm sorry you didn't—"

"It's ok," she interrupted. "I didn't expect it the first time."

He slid his hand from her cheek to her breast. "We still have time," he said, eyebrows raised. She grinned and closed her eyes as dragged his fingers down her body, gently parting her legs for his fingers.

"We have our whole lives," she said. He smiled as she bit her lip, and he slipped his fingers between her thighs.

Our whole lives, he thought. He could deal with that.

[trashcankitty12]

Flora Headcanons:

Guys, meet the Sugar and Sweet part of the Winx Club.

Or, as you already know her: Flora La Rosa of Linphea.

Under the cut are the headcanons because again, these get long. (Also some I’ve mentioned before, I think, but whatever. And again, these are mostly for my main verse ‘Balance/The New Company of Light’ and for ‘Left’.)

-Flora has a rather large family, one that stems partially from cousins adopted after the Great War of Magic ended. (So many were displaced or orphaned, and her family was just one of many who took in the children left behind.)

-Honestly though, she really just sees her immediate family often, the rest of them coming around only for major Linphean holidays. (Though they all stay in touch through letters, phone calls, and social media. Especially the cousins.)

-Flora tends to be closer to her father as they share a similar sense of humor and have similar hobbies (like leaf surfing and giant ladybug racing). But her magic took after her mother’s and her mother was her first magic teacher.

-(She was a bit late getting her magic and a bit late getting her wings. She was eight when her magic came in and already 13 by the time her wings sprouted. Though she wasn’t surprised, as her mother had been a late ‘winger’ too.)

-Flora’s mother is the Guardian Fairy of Linphea and helps run the Main GreenHouse alongside the Nymph of Linphea and the royal family. Thanks to Alyssa’s job, Flora got to meet and assist all sorts of people from her realm. (Including the witch triplets who went to Cloud Tower; Euphorbia, Ververine, and Gerbera. And Princess Krystal.)

-Rhodos works with a faction of conservationists in Linphea to keep endangered animals (and plants) alive. He mainly works with the magiwolves of Linphea and tries to keep their numbers where they’re supposed to be. And because of his job, he ended up adopting a young magiwolf pup they named Amarok.

- (They weren’t going to keep him… They weren’t. But because he was born a different pigment than his littermates, his mother had abandoned him and… Rhodos couldn’t very well leave him to die. Besides, Amarok is nothing more than an overgrown lapdog. Usually.)

-Miele was born when Flora was about six or seven, give or take a few months. And yes, there was a touch of jealousy when Miele first came home because Flora didn’t understand why her parents weren’t spending as much time with her.

-Her parents were quick to pick up on her anxieties about the new baby and started incorporating Flora into assisting with Miele’s care. (Like reading and playing with her while Alyssa made dinner and helping her toddle around the family’s garden while naming off the plants.)

-Honestly, they grew up close and Flora became like a second mom to Miele. (Which would later turn into a minor annoyance as Miele got older, but that’s fine. They’re working through that.)

-Sibling shenanigans still occurred however, like Miele taking and reading Flora’s diary or Flora planting frogs or bugs into her sister’s room. (Or the Great Baking War that Alyssa refuses to let them live down.)

-Flora’s paternal grandmother, Nana Rose, is close to her family and has been living with them since her husband, Poppop Miden passed away.

-She’s a witch who works at the local clinic, her focus is on potions. (Which she passed on to Flora and has tried to teach her everything she knows about them… And everything she knows on poisons too because sometimes a poison is necessary.)

-And yes, Nana Rose did have hope that at least one of her granddaughters would be a witch, but she’s still proud of them. Wings and all.

-Flora has a hidden angry side. It doesn’t come out much and she does her best not to show it often, but she has a major temper when she does slip and let it out. She will unleash her will into the plant life around her and have it come for whoever pissed her off. Or if she’s really feeling it, she may just go in for a physical attack. The girl can pack a punch. (Granted, this only happens in situations where loved ones are in danger.)

-Flora is the only one from her elementary and middle school friend group that went to a Magix School. Most of her friends went to the Linphean Academy.

-She’s the tallest in her main friend group, standing at 5’7.

-She’s one of the Mom friends in the group, the other being Tecna. (She’s the more empathetic and emotional mom friend. Tecna’s the ‘well you fucked around and found out the hard way’ mom friend.)

-Flora wasn’t too sure about Chatta being her pixie at first, but is beyond grateful for the pixie helping her come out of her shell more.

-They now attempt to have weekly (though it’s sometimes monthly) tea parties to catch up on everything.

-Flora doesn’t really ‘do’ competitive sports often, but leaf surfing is the best thing ever and it’s one of the few sports she’s better at than Layla. (Though she does have the advantage of being Linphean and getting to leaf surf regularly…)

-Flora is a romantic and enjoys the ‘rom-com’ things; walks on the beach, silly moments around the town, dancing in the rain. But that shouldn’t mean she’s not careful with her heart. She’s empathic (as many Linpheans are) and is good at reading people when meeting them. So unless you’ve got a ‘beautiful’ soul, she’s not going to be interested.

-Flora loves that her friends are from such vastly different places because it means she can learn more about the realms from people who actually live there. (And teach her their languages, though she’s only really fluent in Solarian and conversational in the others.)

-She’s a spiritual person, as many from Linphea are. Flora believes that just like plant life, all life is connected by an invisible root system and that life is precious and should be treated with respect. (However, she also recognizes that there are those who have ‘tainted spirits’ and need to be dealt with so they don’t harm others.)

-Flora’s not exactly shy. She’s just shy around new people. But once she gets to know you and considers you a friend, you’ll find she has no problem speaking her mind. (And sending random things to you over the phone because they made her think of you.)

-There’s a misconception that she, and other Linpheans, are vegetarian. That’s not entirely true. Linpheans do eat meat: fish. They don’t have it often, only for certain occasions, but they do eat it.

-Flora also doesn't mind dirt or getting dirty. (But there is a difference in natural dirt and gunk. Okay? And gunk sucks.)

-Flora doesn't swear often, but she has let a few slip out from time to time. Usually in heated or emotional or upsetting moments.

-Her favorite parts of an Linphean holiday are getting to spend time with her family. She loves it when they all get together and enjoy each other.

-Like most Linpheans, Flora is immune to most poisons. She’ll likely feel a touch of nausea or a minor headache when poisoned, but due to her immune system, she’ll be perfectly fine within a few hours.

-Despite the fact she’s usually the one trying to talk the others out of dangerous situations, doesn’t mean she’s actually afraid of them. Sneaking into another school, fighting through a realm of shadow creatures, going toe-to-toe with magical terrorists; those don’t phase her.

-No, her real fear is something a bit more… Relatable. She’s scared of losing her loved ones. The thought of having her magic and being able to do such incredible things, but not being able to save her family or her friends just absolutely shakes her to core. (Especially in her nightmares when she’s forced to watch them die and she can’t do a thing to save them.)

-(Freshman year really fucked her up when they were fighting the Army of Darkness/Decay. There was a moment she thought she’d lost Musa and Tecna and she nearly broke down. Thankfully, the other two fairies managed to recover with a few of Palladium and Ofelia’s healing salves, but it was touch and go.)

-Flora can’t stand bullies. Granted, not many people like bullies or tolerate them, but Flora just can’t stand for someone to pick on anything that can’t fight back. It’s why she’s managed to enchant a few endangered plant species to being able to speak up and fight back against those who want to pick them apart and why she’s always ready to take on the Trix.

-Flora was the one who helped catch Bloom up on some of the most important aspects of the Magical Dimension (or at least the parts that Stella glossed over or that Tecna overexplained to the point of making it sound alien even to Flora). In return, she learned so much about Earth culture… She was stunned.

-(And fell in love with Earth’s versions of disaster movies. She likes to show other Linpheans and be like “see, if we don’t start really helping the other realms with the ecological problems, this will happen here too.”)

-(Bloom may have also gotten Flora hooked on those ‘hidden camera’ shows... It’s a guilty pleasure.)

-Flora’s got a major sweet tooth. Major. Which is fine because the girl is great at baking. (The other girls are always excited to taste test.)

-Flora’s not quite as delicate as others make her out to be. Yes, her hands are soft despite being in dirt and soil 80% of the time (Linphean lotions are awesome), and yes she’s good a giving that gentle touch to her plants, but she’s physically stronger than she appears. She can lift 50 pound bags of fertilizer with little issue. She’s pretty handy with a shovel (and not just for digging, which her poor cousin Marlow found out when a prank went wrong). And she’s not ‘razer thin’. She has decent muscle mass and is a bit on the broad side. Doesn’t make her any less graceful in the air or on the ground.

-In a fight, she tries to be more defensive than offensive because she doesn’t want to get in Bloom, Layla, or Stella’s way. And she finds her spells work better as traps than as an offensive maneuver. That said, if she feels her friends are in extreme danger, she will not hesitate to call on the Plant Life around them for help. (And she’s known for getting physical too, so watch out for that.)

-Aside from Layla, Flora feels a connection to Roxy. The younger girl’s passion about animals makes her think of her father and she does her best to encourage Roxy to use her passion in her magic.

-Bloom introduced Flora to the game Minecraft. For the first time, Flora understands why Tecna gets so involved in her videogames. (Please send help, she may be addicted. But her farm is looking amazing.)

-Flora doesn’t really worry about fashion, preferring to go by what she feels is comfortable, but she has a hard time saying ‘no’ to Stella when the other fairy has ideas. (Which usually turn out to be beautiful and comfortable and really, Flora just has the best friends.)

-Flora enjoys the nights when all six Winx Club girls can just hang out and be normal for a few hours. Sleepovers, Truth or Dare, movies and junk food. She loves it.

-She got close to Mirta while the other girl was a pumpkin, even finding a way to communicate despite the spell. After the spell was broken and during their sophomore year, Flora was one of the students who helped show Mirta around and made sure she was comfortable. They often talk and catch up. (And yes, Flora did have a hand in helping push Mirta and Lucy together. She regrets nothing.)

-Flora has thought about a tattoo. Many people on her realm get them, though it’s not a requirement nor does it give any extra magical benefits. She just doesn’t know what to get and she wants it be special. (All she knows is where she’d put it, over her burn scar from the Wizards.)

-At her time at Alfea (and in her middle school), Flora was part of the Student Council and Eco Club. She did her best to help make her schools a little more ‘green’ and energy proficient. (Tecna was a big help in coming up with a design for more efficient electrical equipment.)

-Out of all the girls, Flora has the hardest time connecting to Musa with convergence. Their personalities and magical abilities tend to clash from time to time, so they need to really strike a feeling of harmony before trying.

-Bloom is the easiest to converge with. They shared a room and often had so many late-night chats that their auras and feelings just naturally come together when needed.

-Out of all the girls, she’s the most likely to continue living on Earth. She finds the realm so fascinating. (It was a magically dead planet that kept on living... Just.... how?)

-Flora’s current goal in life is to start the revival process of other dead realms in the Magical Dimension. She feels that if she and her friends can resurrect Domino, bring ShadowHaunt back to its former glory, and bring magic back to Earth, they should be able to handle bringing others back to life too.

[literarysophia]

only if you knew

she grew up in a home with parents whose marriage was over before it even began. she grew up with two older siblings; a brother and a sister. her sister is the typical oldest - works hard, gets good grades, does extra-curriculares, praised by all. her brother is athletic, if he did things wrong or slacked, it went unnoticed or wasn't made a big deal of. her older siblings have more in common since they are closer in age. they are two years apart while she is six years apart from her sister and four apart from her brother. she does not have much in common with them and is often made fun of.

she grew up watching disney channel shows that had what she felt good romantic relationships. as she grew older, these relationships were found in freeform & cw shows, as well as real life couples. however, it started with novels, which she thinks has partially potentially ruined romance for her as she does not think there can be a love as good or better than the ones between the pages.

she had crushes all the way up until middle school, and none of them liked her back. three of her friends had "boyfriends" by the time they were in sixth grade, and they barely saw her because of it. her closest friend started her first real relationship in the eighth grade and it lasted until the middle of high school. the friends fought in the beginning, but that was because she was worried about losing her friend and couldn't adapt to someone else needing or wanting her friends' attention in a different way. eventually, that went away and she became friends with the boyfriend before the breakup. another one of her friends got into a relationship in high school, but most of her friends were in the same boat as her; never being crushed on or asked out.

it honestly is quite damaging. going through life as a hopeless romantic, knowing or idealizing what a relationship would look like. the only times a boy had paid her attention were creepy ones. the first one asked her many questions about guns in walmart, another one was at the mall, and the others had been from work who were sexually harassing her. the one boy she might have had a chance with ended up spending more time with her friend, and while they still talked, it wasn't the same. when the movie the D.U.F.F. came out, she wondered (and feared) that she was it. she asked a boy in her class if she was the D.U.F.F. and he said "yes" without hesitation. none of this has been encouraging. not to mention the time she asked her platonic classmate to dance, and he laughed in her face.

now, she doubts that romance will ever happen to her. she does not see it happening, and she thinks no one else can see it either; at least the people whose opinions she deeply cares for. when the song 'heather' came out, she'd never felt more seen or hurt. hurt that she would never be heather. she wondered what it would feel like to be desired. what it would feel like to not only have someone be interested in her in that way, but for them to feel that way mutually and start something.

in the past year (2021) she actually did manage to sleep with someone, keep in contact with them, hookup with them each month, and have them ask the "what are we" question. she'd never tell him, but she was relieved that he asked because she too was wondering but did not want to seem like "that girl" - even though that's total bullshit. she told few friends about him, and even then she didn't tell each person every detail. the boy and the girl established that they are dating, but she is still unsure of it. you see, he lives two hours away and after they established that they are dating, he stopped messaging her. they met up after, and she had the intention of taking him out to get ice cream since before he had said he wanted to 'go on dates and do cute things but you're always busy', but he got a phone call and left to help a friend. she completely understood, but he never said anything to her the following week. she had planned the get together, and she had even cried in front of him because her past trauma was triggered. he called her a week later after she texted him saying there were things she had wanted to talk about the last time they saw each other. she didn't get to talk to him about everything though, because over the phone was not the place to do so. since then, she has told the rest of her friends via a photo on her close friends of the two and it felt nice to have people freak out or be excited that she is seeing someone.

the thing is, she has doubts because of her past and how she's been treated. the boy isn't exactly helping either. he's told her twice that "of course i want to be in a relationship with you" and "yeah, i do" when she asked her on two separate occasions if he wanted them to be in a relationship/be a thing. when she revealed why she had gotten upset, he said he understood (even though he didn't really seem to 100% understand), and told her she was overreacting, overselling it, and making it weird about him not texting her. her friend had volunteered to make a trip with her this summer to go see him for a weekend. initially, she had been excited. she even came up with another friend to tag along and mentioned the plan to her. now? now she feels overwhelmed, panicked, and doesn't like that she's told anyone about him. some people she told because she genuinely wanted to, others were because she needed advice and they needed context because she felt it was pointless to beat around the bush. she highlighted some points for her mom so that she would stop being suspicious but she keeps asking questions. her mom and one of her friends have told her that he might not like her that much because of his lack of communication. that could be true, but A) unbeknownst to them, that adds on to her previous damage, B) they don't know how he acts when he's with her, and C) he always sees her whenever she tells him she's available. she just wishes it could still be hers. now that some people know or are involved, it's harder. she doesn't want other people in it (for example: going to see him) even though she does appreciate it. she doesn't want people to question her or make dents in something that she's not even 100% sure of yet. it's her first relationship and she doesn't even know if it's going to last the rest of the year and she's worried - no she's terrified - that it will end without closure. sure, that's how some relationships end, but this is her first one and she can't face other people with the truth if it goes south. she would feel embarrassed, dejected, and rejected. "of course it wouldn't last" she would think. she would feel like a fool for thinking she could actually have something like this, even though she secretly craves the feeling of being loved romantically, and being in love.

because of all those reasons and more, it might not be the right thing to get in a relationship at all, especially with him. but she's trying to stay afloat, trying to see what will happen, and just trying to keep it a thing because for once it might be in her reach. and it just might ruin or damage her further. but she figures, what else does she have to lose?

[kopikokun]

Middle of The Night (Na Jaemin)

Request 11: Jaemin + “You’re cute when you’re angry.” (47) + “Are you flirting with me?” (56) + “What are you listening to?” (127) + Middle of The Night by Monsta X

Genre: Angst, Suggestive

Wordcount: 2k

Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t.

Time and time again, Jaemin had repeated that single word in his mind like a mantra, hoping that it would somehow convince him to stop himself from succumbing; perhaps heighten his low self-restraint. Obviously, it had never worked. And it wasn’t going to any time soon, especially not now.

So, he picked up his phone.

And he immediately regretted it after hearing that voice. That melodious voice call out his name, like it had done on so many other occasions, and yet he still felt his stomach turn each and every time.

“Jaemin, can you pick me up at this party? I’ll send you the address.”

What had he been expecting? For you to greet him kindly? Tell him you were secretly in love with him? Tell him that you weren’t going to use him for just sex anymore? That wouldn’t happen even in his wildest fantasies, what more in this cold, brutal reality? You only called Jaemin when you needed something out of him. It was usually sex, but tonight it was a ride.

Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t.

His brain persisted. Jaemin knew all-too-well that giving you a ride home would only hurt him again. He had to distance himself from you, create a boundary you could never cross for the sake of keeping the remaining shards of his fragile heart intact. Even hearing your voice made his throat constrict; how could he possibly look you in the eye and endure an entire car ride with you? He’d only be torturously teasing himself with the concept of dating you – something he could never possess – if he agreed to send you home.

“Don’t you have any friends who can drive you home? Or maybe you could hail a cab?” Jaemin tried his hardest to keep his voice calm, steady, as if his heart wasn’t beating out of his ribcage. Unfortunately, it shook slightly.

“I did hail a cab, but this guy keeps insisting on accompanying me back because he wants to get in my pants . . . so I kind of need you to swoop in and scare him off.”

Jaemin had no right to feel enraged – you were a pretty girl, obviously guys would be racing to fall into bed with you – but he did. Something despicable came to life in his gut, clawing, tearing down his already weak defences. He could do it. It was only a car ride. He could resist your tantalising charm for half-an-hour.

“Fine. I’m on my way.”

***

Fuck, why’d you always have to look so fucking irresistible?

Even with your hair haphazardly blowing in the breeze and your cheeks flushed, Jaemin just wanted to wrap his arms around you and keep you pressed against his chest forever.

He forced himself to shift his attention back to the dimly-lit road when you swung the car door open and effortlessly slipped inside.

“Hey Jaemin, thanks for picking me up. I owe you.”

Jaemin didn’t know what compelled him to look at you, he should’ve kept his eyes tacked to the road because what greeted his gaze was nothing short of ethereal.

It was your smile.

The corners of your eyes crinkled, your lips quirked and your face lit up with pure joy. Jaemin couldn’t even begin to articulate how your smile made him feel. It made his head spin, his eyes unconsciously crinkle, and soon enough, he mirrored your expression. All hopes of keeping his tough resolve was washed away by the tsunami that was you.

You exhaled, picking at your bottom lip. Jaemin knew you didn’t like silence, neither did he – that was partially why you two clicked so well. It was never silent when the two of you were together. One of you always had something to say. But this time, Jaemin kept his lips sewn shut.

“What are you listening to?” You gestured to Jaemin’s earphones in an attempt to liven up the atmosphere as his car cruised past streetlights and houses. “Can I listen?”

Before Jaemin could answer, you plucked one side out of his ear. Jaemin was helpless as he watched your grin grow and grow at his choice of song.

“Shut up,” he grumbled, a warm glow dusting his cheeks.

“What? I didn’t even say anything!”

“You’re going to make fun of me, I can tell.”

You laughed, your hand resting on his thigh. He knew you didn’t think much of it – if anything at all – but Jaemin’s heart rate was accelerating. “No, I’m not! It’s a good song! I just didn’t think you’d listen to songs like this. It’s super romantic.”

Jaemin’s face grew hot. “Whatever.”

“No, no! I like it. It’s really nice.” You took his earphones out, handing them back to him. Jaemin took the remaining side out as well. He couldn’t stop himself from yearning to hear your sweet voice, devoid of any distractions. “And has anyone told you that you’re cute when you’re angry?”

You always did this. Always said things to make him feel so giddy. You made him ditzy with joy after only calling him cute. He couldn’t contain himself around you. You brought down all those walls he struggled to keep standing with the smallest of gestures.

“Are you flirting with me?”

“Maybe . . .” you trailed off. The hand on his thigh kept creeping upwards. You were a tease. Always. Even that first night you stumbled into him in the hallways of that dingy motel, you had teased him. Even in bed you teased him. And now you were teasing him with the idea of you. Of being with you. Jaemin couldn’t help his mind wandering to thoughts of having dinner with you, having lame dates at home, laying on the couch and watching bad movies together; he wanted all those things. But he’d never have them. “Yes.”

Jaemin cleared his throat. Normally, a bold statement like that would solicit a flirtatious remark out of him. He had to bite back his words. He couldn’t have any banter with you. Not now. If he did, he’d fall so deep he’d never crawl out again. That had nearly happened last time he saw you.

You had dialled him at God knows what time and coaxed him to come over. Jaemin had gotten a taste of sharing a domestic life with you that day. Instead of being shoved out the door first thing in the morning like he usually was to avoid coming into contact with your roommates, he awoke to the smell of pancakes and the sight of you humming away at the stove. Your friends had left at the crack of dawn and Jaemin had found that he could barely suppress his glee. He had given you a back-hug as you cooked, burying his face in the crook of your neck to litter your shoulder with kisses. It had been one of the best days of his life, and simultaneously the worst. Going back home had been dreadful. His apartment was cold, grey – lonely.

You seemed to be expecting some sort of reply out of him, yet it never came. You sunk in your seat. The rest of the car ride was spent in tense quietude. For the first time since he had met you, you were as still as a statue. No bouncing your leg, twiddling your thumbs; Jaemin despised it, but he didn’t say a word.

As he neared your house, you finally broke the silence. “Wait, wait stop here.”

Jaemin’s car was a few houses down from yours, just below a streetlight. If casted a glow onto the hood of the car. He hesitantly peeked at you. “Why?”

“I can walk back from here.” You smiled sheepishly, shifting in your seat to unlock the passenger’s side. “Um, well thanks, Jaemin.”

If Jaemin had given it a second thought, he could’ve stopped himself. Too bad he was impulsive. His grip on your wrist was tight. “You can’t walk back alone. It’s dangerous. I’ll drive you there, it isn’t that far anyway.”

“No, no . . . it’s fine. I can walk back, Jaemin.”

“Why?” His hold of you loosened, but his gaze steeled.

“Huh?”

“Why do you insist on walking back alone? Why are you so scared your roommates might see me?”

“Jaemin—”

“Are you ashamed of me? Is that it? Am I not good enough to be seen around you?”

“No, God no.” You caressed his cheek, and although Jaemin was telling himself that he was pissed at you, he leaned into your touch. “Of course, I’m not ashamed of you. You’re wonderful.”

There you went again. Saying things you didn’t really mean. He knew that you weren’t sincere, yet his heart still pounded in his ears. He knew that, yet he still leaned in to kiss you. He knew that, yet he still lowered his seat to allow you room to straddle his lap.

You tasted like the strawberry candies you had stashed in your bag. You smelled like the vanilla mist he saw on your dresser. You felt like silk beneath his touch. Jaemin was buzzing. He knew he should stop, but he didn’t. And perhaps that added to the thrill. His hands ran up and down your waist, his mouth hungrily latched onto yours. He couldn’t get enough of you. He groaned as you tugged at the hairs on the nape of his neck, pulling him away from you as your lips travelled down to his jaw, his neck, his shoulders, nipping and teasing. You were a tease. Always a tease.

Jaemin’s mind was clouded with you, you and only you.

“You’re amazing. I missed you so damn much. Everything about you. Fuck,” Jaemin sighed shakily, “fuck, I love you.”

Jaemin’s blood ran cold when you paused. He gulped as you stared at him, eyes wide.

“Jaemin, I—”

He shouldn’t have said anything. He should have just left it. But he didn’t. “I know this was supposed to be some friends with benefits kind of shit, but I can’t, fuck, I can’t go on like this. I can’t lie to you.” He doesn’t know what impels him to continue, but he does. “God, I love you. So much. I'm going out my mind for you. I can’t stop thinking about you. I’ll stay with you for the rest of my life if you want because I love you so fucking much it hurts.”

Jaemin wished he could read minds. Your gaze hazed with something indiscernible. “Jaemin.” The tone of your voice shattered him. “I – I can’t. I don’t like you like that, and I’m sorry. Fuck, you’re a great guy and I love being with you, but I don’t—”

“It’s fine.” Jaemin smiled softly. The situation is made worse with you still sat on his lap.

“Jaemin—”

“No, really it’s fine.” He willed himself to smile wider. “Just let me drive you home. Properly.”

You nodded, rigidly manoeuvring back to your seat.

As you stepped out of the car and shuffled to the front door, Jaemin watched you. Just as you were about to enter, you turned and waved, smiling softly. Jaemin wished you hadn’t. Because it only makes leaving so much harder.

Jaemin regrets telling you he loves you. If he hadn’t, then maybe at least he’d still get to see you laying fast asleep next to him at night, even if it meant nothing to you. But most of all, Jaemin regrets ever meeting you. He regrets tagging along on that stupid road trip with Jeno, Hyuck and Renjun. He regrets ever driving into Motel Six’s parking lot. He regrets ever colliding into you in the hallways. He regrets ever agreeing to spend that first night with you. Or the second. Or the third. Or the ones after. He regrets all the hours he spent loving you.

And when he comes home that night, the only thing that greets him is the cold, grey, lonesome walls of his apartment.

want to request? go here!

[maxwell-grant]

So, on the note of "inspirations for Batman", thoughts on Zorro?

I talked a bit about Zorro as an embodiment of justice, a character who's reached a level of timeless popularity and iconic status that very few characters have, and how the character's symbolic value long outweights the need for him to remain in constant publication. And on that regard, I don't actually have much to say about Zorro other than he rules, he's an incredibly effective and well-crafted character who's stood the test of time maybe better than just about any other pulp hero, and he's a foundational figure to both superheroes and pulp heroes alike.

Like Superman, Zorro's a character I will always associate with childhood fantasy, except of course as a Latin-American swashbuckling mystery man he was always much, much more appealing as I grew older (even if I always wanted superpowers). I've always known Zorro by association as sort of a romantic figure, as a kid he and Don Juan were basically the same character to me, and I think Zorro gets a lot more mileage out of that sort of dashing romanticism than a lot of other heroes, as his image's gained a lot of that "latin lover/masked rogue" appeal. Zorro is not just sexy, he's become Antonio Banderas At His Prime Sexy, and that's very much something that's contributed to his timeless popularity and what sets him apart from other pulp heroes.

My only issue with Zorro is that the execution of the idea is often not as interesting as the concept itself, and like The Green Hornet, the character's held back a bit by being forced to retreat into a status quo. Unlike with the Hornet though, I actually think Zorro benefits much more from the fact that he's become more of an influential bedrock of fiction than a constantly popular property, because ultimately Zorro is all about that inspiration, the inspiring of others to rise up against tyranny, following the example of the swashbuckling living legend who almost makes it look easy. It's something that's been explored quite interestingly in Al Ewing's El Sombra books, which I have three asks on my queue about, so I will definitely get to talking about them once I'm through with Pax Omega. But back to Zorro,

It's interesting that Zorro has become such a fixture of Batman's backstory when, in it's broader sense, it could very easily not have mattered at all what movie the Waynes were watching that night, except it did, because it was a movie about Bruce's childhood hero as the last happy memory he had with his parents, the last thing he had before it was all taken away and he had to rebuild himself from scratch.

Some Shadow fans do get bothered by the insistence that it was Zorro only who inspired Batman, and yeah I get that on some aspect it does feel a bit like it's DC covering up plagiarism, but I don't mind that at all. One, I don't want The Shadow to be subservient to Batman's mythos or to be defined as "the guy who inspired Batman", I want him to thrive as his own character again. Two, Zorro is much more removed from Batman's own persona and time that it makes much more sense to have him persist in this manner, and additionally, he's different enough from Batman where it makes sense that he's going to be this timeless ideal of simple justice that Batman's gonna try to live up to, and not succeed because he lives in a comic book landscape several steps removed from the setting and medium Zorro inhabits.

Three, look, I argue for The Shadow's fundamental decency and humanity and how often he's misinterpreted or vilified all the time, but there's really no getting around the fact that he's a menacing figure garbed in villain's clothing and mannerisms who laughs evily while shooting people (even if not to kill). That's not a criticism, that's just what he is, that's what he chooses to be to battle crime and turn the tables on society's oppressors. Even if he was directly trained by The Shadow or his agents, I don't buy Bruce, especially a young Bruce who's still trying to find a way to turn his childhood fantasy into practical reality for the rest of his life, who’s partially driven by a traumatic hatred for guns and who’s gonna spend the rest of his life fighting a cackling mass murderer, wanting to be like that or being inspired by that, as much as he'd be inspired by a fictional dashing smiling man in black clothing who humbles and humiliates imperialists by cutting branded symbols everywhere, even if Zorro is still killing people or at least seriously maiming them (which Batman isn't adverse to himself, flinging razorblades everywhere). Zorro may have been the first fictional hero to really solidify the concept of branding, which is what Batman and his villains are all about.

And Four, Zorro is timeless and popular to the point where there's dozens if not hundreds of characters inspired by Zorro more literally in pop culture, some of whom have become quite popular and influential themselves like Inigo Montoya. It makes total sense that this is the figure that Batman's gonna look up, because Zorro's not only a character who seems practically built to thrive as an inspirational icon, but who's also inspired and codified a substantial part of many tropes that both The Shadow and Batman used. Zorro is at the bedrock of it all for both pulp heroes and superheroes, of course he's gonna persist.

So yeah, Zorro rules, and he's always going to rule. Great character who's inspired tons of other great characters or stories, and who's stayed great even still. He's cool, he's stylish, he's sexy, he's really got it all.

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

lately i feel taehyung is a straight man and his vibez is much more masculinity i mean not to mention taehyung straightly said to jimin he like him most and no offense for me it's just assurance about something etc and i don't feel like in romantic way but much more because he is best friend for life. i mean before you can assume he is kind of gay but lately i feel like he's more focus on masculine way and much more straight man.

Admin 1: Let’s do a little exercise which I think will help us answer this question, as well as showcase why reading it annoyed me so much, especially as queer person myself. Okay, here are nine different men, all of them athletes (why did I pick them? Because idols are basically just as athletic as them and chances of you knowing all nine are low), and now please try to guess which of them (if any) are gay/queer:

…

Do you have your guesses?

…

Okay, as example, if you guessed only the one first row second from the left then, well, you are partially correct. That man is Johnny Weir, former American figure skater, who is, in fact, gay, yes. But you are wrong in saying that out of all the men in those pictures he’s the only one who is queer. Because all of them are. You can read more about them here if you’re interested.

What does this tell us? Easy. The manner in which someone presents themselves (or the vibe, whatever that’s even supposed to mean, that they give off/give you), traditionally masculine, feminine, more androgynous, or anywhere else on the spectrum, has no correlation whatsoever with their sexuality. A gay man can dress in a way that is traditionally seen as more feminine and that’s fine. He can dress and look more typically masculine, and that is fine as well. He can dress and look however he likes and that doesn’t make him any less or more gay, or any less or more valid.

The main thing I would like for you to take away from this answer is this: please do not buy into stereotypical, basically fetishizing, portrayals and assumptions of what constitutes a “gay man” visually and behavior wise. There is no checklist full of boxes a queer man, or any queer person for that matter, needs to fulfil in order to be queer and valid in their queerness. There is no unified look a gay man has to showcase in order to be gay. It’s the 21st century, the year 2021, can we leave finally lay these things to rest?

As for Tae, if you want to know my thoughts about BTS and the LGBT community, I have an entire post about it which you can read here if that’s something that interests you. If we look at how Tae currently looks like, which you’ve defined as more “masculine” (and therefore straight), I will agree that he has gained muscles, if that is what you think is a necessary checkbox for masculinity, but really, all that really tells us is that Tae is healthy, that he looks great, handsome as ever, and that he is an idol of whom it is expected and required to be in a good physical shape, especially with comeback being quite literally just three days away which means a lot of performances, dancing, and hard Bangtan choreographies.

Your taste in fashion and how you feel most comfortable with your body looking like has no direct correlation with your sexuality, and neither does it with Tae’s.

Lastly, how is Tae saying he likes Jimin most on national TV somehow proof of him being straight? What else was he supposed to say? What would he have to say for you to not question his bond with Jimin? Is there a possibility we’re wrong and they’re just platonic, of course, but at the same time, looking at how Jimin said that Tae is a honest person, how Tae basically wears his heart on his sleeve, and how he’s written a song all about falling in love with his best friend, whom we know is Jimin, and we know Tae writes songs based on his own feelings and experiences, I do have a hard time believing that we are wrong. But, of course, we won’t know for sure until Tae or Jimin, or both, tell us themselves.

You are free to believe whatever you like but at least don’t project gender and LGBT stereotypes (most of which have been created and are perpetuated by straight people) onto Tae, and the other members for that matter. Or any queer person really.

Admin 2: I admit that after what I’ve recently observed on various sns platforms, no question will surprise me anymore. In fact, I'm sure I know where this question came from.

The most annoying thing is that despite so many "steps and demonstrations" on BTS' part, there is still an army trying to put people into individual boxes and number those boxes and give them names.

Do any of us have our sexualities written out on our foreheads? Can you see if we are sexually interested in women, men, or anyone else? And how can you know that?

I think a lot of people know Adam Rippon, for example, who is a former American figure skater and Olympic team bronze medalist. Yes, Adam is gay and has a very handsome partner, fiancé actually, who looks like a young god. He's fit, look at his photos on Instagram, Jussi goes to the gym, runs and is even in the process of builds a house himself, like a "real man", a "typical" man ... but he's gay!

If you look at this example, you can clearly see that there are no stereotypes that would indisputably define the appearance of an LGBTQ+ person! Indeed, in the last century, attempts have been made to give "gay" people the weird appearance of only ever being feminized man who are always sassy and the side kick in movies/shows, the stereotypical "gay best friend". It the past century it was designed as such to portray queer people, and especially gay men, in undesirable ways, as jokes and as something "bad", but I thought we grew out of it a long time ago as modern and tolerant people.

Kim Taehyung has to practice and exercise as a member of BTS. That’s a fact. To meet the requirements of their choreographies, whether you like it or not, you must be in an Olympic physical form. Not just him, the entire team must basically be at a near peak physical condition and health. Tae has to exercise, he has to take care of himself, and he has to look great. I have to admit, I've noticed that "gay" men pay more attention to their looks than a normal, unshaven straight guy! (I'm basing this on a joke Adam Rippon once made where he apologized to his followers for looking like an "unshaved straight guy" after he'd just woken up)

What do I mean by that? I want to express the fact that the way you look and take care of your appearance and physical condition are not an indicator of sexuality!

As for the "I like you the most" statement, I'll admit that I've observed many people in many ways trying to use this statement to twist it into whatever those people wanted it to be, instead of taking it for what it actually was, especially since it appears to be something like a thorn in the sides of those who ship other ML pairings.

I'll be rather blunt here now, instead of beating around the bush.

I think this whole question is another attempt at ripping down the Vmin sails and belittling their bond and its possible implications once again.

If we remember how the scene played out, remember Jimin's reactions, his nervousness, how flustered he was, said that things are getting dangerous, and the fact that Taehyung's letter was only for Jimin's eyes. Is that really how "bros" behave? Just a couples of besties?

I doubt that normal best buddies on national TV would feel the need to write mystery letters just for a friend's eyes and tell each other that they like him the most? I'll say more, "boyfriends" don't force their lover to admit that he is copying him in his dance style, only friends do.

It is strange that this "copy" situation was "perceived" as highly romantic, and yet Taehyung's words to Jimin were relegated to "best friends only, nothing else".

However, it doesn't change the fact that Taehyung said what he said, he wrote 95z is love and Jimin confessed that he would love to spend his life with his lovely Taehyungie. Do "only best friends" (best friends that are straight) behave like this?

[cryptidcalling]

Heyo! Here’s that post I promised about some of Sean’s friends! Not all of them are going to be super fleshed out, because not all of them are super significant to Sean specifically, but they deserve some attention too. I also haven’t really given them last names.

Ian: He’s been hybridized with the DNA if a Lyre Bird, allowing him to mimic any sound he hears perfectly. This includes human voices. He also has feathers covering much of his arms and back, but he’s unfortunately not able to fly. He’s eccentric and charismatic, and also very intelligent! He’s the teams main leader and info-gatherer, and cares the most deeply about their mission. He’s great at finding information and hacking, but he’s also just generally book smart and good at math. However, he can be a bit emotionally tone deaf and doesn’t always properly read the room before acting. His loudness and general goofy attitude can be unwelcome at times when the situation is dire, and he can make people feel like he isn’t taking them seriously. He’s genuinely a caring friend though, and his life’s goal truly is to save every victim of GenMile’s experiments. He often refers to Sean and “Lou”, shortened from his last name of Loufin. Despite how different they are, Ian and Sean get along incredibly well. Sean is unendingly grateful for Ian and everything he’s done for him and the other hybrids and victims, and he understands better than most just how much saving people means to Ian.  Raquel “Roxy”: She’s been hybridized with the DNA of a Hyena, which gives her a naturally strong build, a good sense of smell, thick callouses on certain parts of her hands and feet, an immunity to mild toxins, and sharp teeth. She’s outgoing, and enjoys standing out in a crowd. She dresses like a full on biker woman, complete with Mohawk and a patch covered jean vest. She’s what some might call a Mama Bear, and is very protective of her friends. She and Sean bond fairly quickly because of how unsure and reserved he tends to be in unfamiliar situations. He’s not shy per-se, but he often will worry himself into a frenzy when he’s in an unfamiliar situation and nobody is around to help keep him grounded. She serves as his rock when Ian is a bit too loud and chipper for Sean to feel reassured. Despite her somewhat intimidating appearance, she’s an absolute mom friend, makes the best soup, and gives amazing hugs. She and Sean’s friendship eventually buds into a romantic relationship! (They’re both bi, in case anyone was wondering). Eri: Eri is a little girl, about 5 at the time of rescue and then she floats around the future/Australia time at 6. She’s an unauthorized revival of the hybrid project, started in secret by her own parents who both work for GenMile. They had her for the specific purpose of creating a new hybrid, believing that if she was their own blood she wouldn’t possibly turn against them. Her DNA has been mixed with that of a Vampire Bat, which gives her large pointed ears, small wings, sharp fans, and a unique type of venom that numbs pain and prevents blood from clotting, allowing her to drink as much blood as she can. She also has 4 sharp fangs and a pointed tongue with a deep grove in the center for consuming blood. Eri doesn’t need blood to live, just like Sean doesn’t need to eat sugar despite being partially Kinkajou and Roxy can eat things other than meat. However, cravings are natural, especially in younger children. When she was very little, between 1-3, Eri would bite her “parents” (Who I will henceforth call the Scientists, just know only the two of them knew about her) on many occasions to try and feed herself. Her cravings are especially dangerous, because her venom works nearly instantly. Besides a slight prick, someone she bites might feel no pain at all. This is dangerous for them and Eri, because given the opportunity she could potentially gorge herself to the point of feeling sick while the other person experiences severe blood loss. Instead of trying to help Eri manage the cravings that they forced upon her, the Scientists would instead punish her and lock her into her small isolated bedroom for long periods of time. She became convinced at such a young age that she was inherently bad and dangerous, and loving her was a gift she didn’t deserve and was only being “given” because the scientists are such great people. The more she grew the more she learned how to avoid acting on her cravings, but she wasn’t learning to manage them. Instead, the pent up feelings result in violent and destructive outbursts. When she gets rescued by the team, they’re all deeply shocked and terrified to see a new hybrid, and immediately take her in despite her denial. She tried many times to convince them all that she was a bad child, an evil terrible child that would only hurt them and destroy things. Sean feels the strongest immediate connection to her, because even to this day he deals with his own fears and self hatred regarding his venom. After her rescue, Sean takes her in as a caretaker, and he’s helping her heal and manage her cravings and outbursts.  Momo: They’ve had their DNA splice with a Wood Frog and Red-Eyed Tree Frog! They have many unique abilities, like holding their breath for hours at a time, webbed hands and feet, sticky fingers and toes that allow them to climb walls, a long sticky tongue, and the ability to freeze their blood to withstand freezing cold temperatures! Momo is the Free-spirit type who always wants to carve their own path and adventure off the grid. This means they can be stubborn when not getting their way, but also steadfast in their beliefs and highly confident. They’ll also extend this confidence and stubbornness to their teammates when they’re sure an idea of theirs will work.  Thia: Her DNA has been combined with that of a cheetah. As one might expect, her primary ability is speed. Her use within the team is primarily getting as many people out of a facility as quickly as possible! In terms of personality she’s quite traditionally feminine and enjoys watching teen dramas and dressing up with makeup and painted nails. Mainly, this is her way of feeling as though she fits in, and uses it as a form of self expression. She never got to dress up in fun clothes or own things that were overly dramatic and silly when she was little, so she happily indulges now. She knows many of the novels she reads and movies she watches are completely fictional and dramatized, but that’s exactly what she likes about them. She and Roxy get along very well as the two girls on the team despite their opposing aesthetics.  The reason Momo and Thia don’t come with Sean, Ian, Roxy and Eri to Australia is because that is primarily SEAN’S dream and he’s my main character. It’s his desire to leave the country and live in Australia, not the whole team’s. Roxy comes with because by the end she and Sean are dating, Eri comes with because Sean is her new dad, and Ian comes along to establish a new safe base of operations for himself! And also because Sean is a very important friend to him. Just because GenMile has finally been taken down doesn’t mean there’s not more people in need of rescuing, and when you’ve committed as many federal crimes as Ian has Fleeing the country with your best bro and his new family Just Makes Sense. Momo and Thia still leave the country! Momo chooses to go to Europe, and is easily able to live with very little money and travel around, sleeping in hostels and enjoying the natural people and cultures. Thia actually ends up in Spain! She’s able to make a career for herself in the fashion and makeup industries. She can’t be a model unfortunately, but she can work behind the scenes as a wardrobe and makeup artist for movies and photo shoots. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #299

“you look so beautiful tonight  /  reminds me how you laid us down and gently smiled before you destroyed my life.”

Ever done any drugs? Besides alcohol, no. How many people have you kissed? Three or four. What’s your favorite show to binge? I could only ever willingly *binge* Meerkat Manor and not get bored after like, two episodes. Do you watch porn? No, it's never appealed to me. What’s one of your fantasies? Being financially stable. :^) Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced? I've lightly considered getting one, but I really doubt I ever will. What’s the most overrated movie? /shrug. Let people like what they like. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message. I'd love to get to know my Facebook acquaintance Courtlynn better; I've wanted to for a long time. I think we could be fantastic friends. We'll like each other's stuff regularly and occasionally leave comments, but we don't really talk. Do you like paper books or ebooks better? Paper ones, by a long shot. I just really like the feeling of a book and being able to clearly see how far in you are. I enjoy the smell and sound of turning pages. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick? Probably Wonderland, realistically. I would say Azeroth, but too much world-threatening shit goes on every day lol. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like? G O T H Do you still have feelings for any of your exes? Yep. Do you drink? Very, very rarely. Almost exclusively during celebrations or on the once in a blue moon occasion we go to a sit-down restaurant. Do you read erotica? No. It would make me super uncomfortable. What color was the last candle you lit? I don't remember at all. Do you own a treadmill? No, but I want one. Have you ever signed up for a gym membership? Well, not exactly me. Mom and Nicole both had memberships to Planet Fitness, and I was able to come as a guest. It was just cheaper that way. What color was the last fish you had? That I owned or ate? Either way, idr. Is there a garbage can in your room? What color is it? No. If you play The Sims, do you download custom clothes, hair, etc? I don't play it. Does your animal sleep with you? Roman does, yes. He legitimately spoons with me lmao. Sometimes he'll move to the bottom of the bed, other times he'll sleep through most of the night there. Have you ever had to wear a hairnet? Yes. What is your favorite song to play on Guitar Hero or Rock Band? "Hotel California" by The Eagles on expert is so much fun and just feels good. The ending solo is just great. When you drink chocolate milk do you just buy the jug of it or the syrup that you can put into the milk? Almost always just the chocolate syrup. Do you own a robe? What color is it? No. What’s the worst abuse you have done to your phone? I know I've thrown it across the room once. Well, not my current phone, but a really old one. How did you meet your first love? High school. Well, you could maybe say Facebook. He sent me a friend request and I literally only accepted it because I thought it was another Jason. We talked via messenger some and then we ran into each other at school, and tbh I kinda knew I was fucked from there lmao. Have you ever worn the opposite sex’s underwear? I don't believe so, no. Have you ever kissed in a pool? Yeah. Are there any hobbies you have that you don’t perform in front of others? I absolutely cannot write in front of others, and I HATE drawing when people are watching. What do you do when you simply don’t know what to do? Odds are I'll probably be scraping the bottom of the barrel to find something in WoW that sounds even remotely fun, or I'll browse Facebook. How did you find out about your current favorite band? He's one of my mom's favorite singers/bands, so I grew up with some of his music, and when I was getting into rock and metal, I decided to go through her music case and listen to some of it. Ozzy's Black Rain album set the adoration into motion. Where are you most likely to go when you need clothing? The Internet or Wal-Mart, depending on what kind of clothes I need. When was the last time you tried to do something yet failed? I should have an answer for this very quickly... yet I'm unsure. I don't think anything *major* has happened in a while. Oh, this is a tiny thing, but I did look really hard for the pencil sharpener so my niece could finish coloring her drawing, but I couldn't find the damn thing for anything. Do you think your life is comprised more of success or failure? Lots and lots of failure. What’s one personality trait that’s not strong in you? Uhhh outgoing, ig. Are you a difficult individual to get to know? Considering I hide a lot about myself to try and be accepted, yes. When was the last time you opened up to someone and about what? Literally yesterday to my mom about this unreasonably massive fear I've had lately that she doesn't have much longer in her. I'm terrified she's going to get COVID or her cancer just comes back faster than we hope. To whom do you feel the most important? My mom. Is there something you want but might not ever have? Many things. What’s something you’re working to obtain? Mental stability. Do you tend to enjoy your dreams? No, considering they're usually violent and rarely just psychotic nightmares. Are there any projects or goals you’ve recently abandoned? Hm. What in life serves to keep you going? The hope it'll get better, and I'll reach a point of actually being happy and content with my life. What was the last good news you received? Nicole's trip to Maryland to bring back a baby was successful (if that sounds weird, she's a child social worker). He has a heart condition where if his heartbeat or something like that was irregular, she'd have driven all the way up there for nothing; the baby wouldn't have been able to take the ride. Are you more inclined to appreciate sweet or savory foods? Sweet. Are romantic relationships important to you at this point in your life? I mean I'd like to be in one, but I highly doubt it'd be successful, just given where I am in life. I'd be signing up for heartbreak. Who was the last person to apologize to you for something they did? I don't know. Probably Mom for something minor, like just bumping into me or something. Are you wearing a necklace, and if so, who got it for you? No. What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve done lately? Lately? Uh. I don't know, but I can guarantee to you it wasn't long ago at all, considering breathing embarrasses me, pretty much. Do you ‘think out loud’? Sometimes. Do you take gummy vitamins? No. How do you know the majority of the people you know? Former schools. Hell, or maybe various online locations. I just might have more online friends and acquaintances than in-person. Is there a random object you own that has a huge personal significance? I've talked about my pebble from my partial hospitalization program enough. Can you play electric guitar? I used to be able to play a little bit; I took guitar lessons for a short while in high school. Best I could do was the intro to "Crazy Train," but I'd still occasionally mess up. Are you one of those people who chew two pieces of gum, not one? Usually. Do you believe in ghosts/supernatural occurrences? Yes. Without the aid of mascara, do you have long eyelashes? Yeah. Is there a kind of music you listen to that helps you release your anger? Yes, usually songs that are also angry. How does it make you feel looking at pics with your ex and someone else? The only case this has ever happened was with Jason and his gf after me. There are no words to describe the fucking hatred I felt. I haven't seen pictures of him with an s/o in a long time, and I absolutely never plan on seeking them out ever again. What song are you listening to right now? "Rest In Pieces" by Saliva. If you’re not in college, why? I couldn't handle the stress anymore. Just couldn't. Do you own a studded belt from Hot Topic? I have a good number of old ones from high school, actually. I wore them all the time. I could never fit into them now. Favorite fictional character? Um, Darkiplier, duh. Most recent thing you are looking forward to? I think it's finally set in stone that I'm getting my tattoo redone soon. Thanks to my laptop saying "ha fuck you," it's not as soon as I originally planned since I had to pay to fix it, but Mom seems fine with helping me pay for my birthday. Not a guarantee that it'll happen on that date of course, given scheduling, but yeah. It should fucking finally be happening. How many stairs can you climb before you wanna pass out? This is too embarrassing to even answer lmao. Have you ever kissed someone with braces? No. Would you ever consider adoption? I don't want kids, and even if I did, I probably wouldn't. I feel like I'd personally need the "wow this is a part of me (and/or my s/o)" connection. Do you ever go hunting/fishing? I would never go hunting, and the only occasion in which I'd fish again is if Dad asked me. I don't like the idea of fishing for fun anymore, but that's like... always been our bonding experience, and I wouldn't tell him no. Do you know anyone who plays guitar? Knew. What are you currently sitting/laying on? My bed. Who are your godparents? I don't think I have any. Do you have any friends who are famous? I have two friends who are parts of bands, but idk how successful they are. I don't think either are like, huge. Nova Mortis if you're into heavy metal and I think Toukan does rap? When was the last time you stayed at a hotel? Hm. I have no idea. What side of a heart do you draw first? Uhhhh I think the left? What is your mom saved as in your phone? "Mama Bear." Do you want your tongue pierced? I had snake eyes for a while, but I took them out because I kept chipping my teeth. I miss that piercing, it was so cute, but it wasn't worth ruining my teeth. Ever made out in a pool? It's possible very briefly, idr. Do you like to have long hair or short hair? SHORT. SHORT. SHORT. Do you change your phone background a lot? Not really. Would you get back with your last ex if you could? Yeah. Have you ever been strip searched? No. Has the person you like ever seen you in your pajamas? Yes. What is your least favorite type of chocolate? White chocolate is way too sweet. Did anyone see your last kiss? It was at an airport, so probably. Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend? I mean, I do, but I don't really know how smart it would be right now. Is there anyone you wish you could fix things with? A few. Who IMed you on Facebook last? My friend Girt. Were you kinda scared of the goths in high school? Hell naw man, I looked up to them lmao. What size is your mattress? (single,twin,double,queen,king) Queen. Do you like spaghetti? Hell yeah. It was my favorite food as a kid. What about lasagna? No; I don't like the cheese at all. Have you ever been stung by anything? What was it? Mosquitoes of course, as well as a bee once. Maybe other things, idk. Have you ever worn contacts? (even just to try them out) Yes, but I changed to glasses because I had too much trouble putting them in and taking them out. Have you ever had any suspicious moles removed? No. Have you ever been screened for STDs? No. Did you have your tonsils taken out? No. Did you have your appendix taken out? No. Do you have any collector’s glasses or cups or mugs? What is a "collector's" glass or mug? Were you your parents’ first born? No; I'm the middle child. Do you have a child? Is the father still with you? No. Were you born perfectly healthy or with some (or a lot) of health issues? I was born healthy. Good 'ole days. Did you ever catch any bugs or insects with your friends as a kid? Ohhhh yes, my neighbor and I loved doing that. My favorite was catching fireflies with my sisters, though. Would you prefer to travel around the world by yourself or with a friend? With a friend. I'd get lonely. Do you know anybody who has been diagnosed with cancer? A whole lot, sadly... I'm despising that disease more and more every day that goes by. I know far too many people who have it or have died at its hands. Have you ever had to take care of an intoxicated person? No. Do you and your boyfriend/girlfriend fight a lot? N/A. Do not stay in a relationship where fighting is common. Would you ever share a site password with a family member or partner? I mean sure, depending on the site and person, and the reason they (may) need it. Has anyone ever told you they couldn't trust you? Hm... I actually don't think so? Who in your family has the prettiest eyes? Idk, I don't see enough of my extended family to know. What is an odd food item you would like to try, or have tried? I'm sure there's something I'd like to try, but nothing I think about with consistency, really... Most "odd" food I find unappealing anyway. When/if you drive, do you go the speedlimit? When I did, I certainly always tried to, but I was bad at maintaining a stable speed. I went up and down too much. Are you an aggressive driver? Or more passive-aggressive? I was dangerously passive at driving. Describe a hairstyle you had as a little kid? Well, I had long hair with bangs. What routine of yours would you most hate to break? Probably stopping getting a soda first thing in the morning... That is like so deeply ingrained into my day and is a motivator to get up in the first place. I want to change this to where I'm not allowed to grab one until I've had a full cup of water, but yeah, that hasn't happened yet. Has jealousy ever ruined one of your friendships/relationships? Honestly? I think it's possible that Jason totally split on me because of it. We were in this very unstable "friends" position after the breakup and hung out very briefly and awkwardly twice (which I'm pretty sure he didn't want), and I think one of our last attempts at conversation was who a girl he was talking to via Messenger was. No, before any assumptions are made, I didn't snoop. He showed me something on his phone and I just inevitably saw the little Facebook chat icon of a girl I didn't recognize. I don't even remember his answer. I just know it wasn't too long later I was blocked and everything. What is one restaurant you would NOT recommend? I personally am not a Chili's fan. What was your last conversation about? Mom and I were just talking about what a mush the cat is, haha. Who is your favorite person to debate or discuss with? Yo fuck debates, I got mad anxiety over that kind of stuff. Are you more likely to praise or insult yourself? Why? Insult. I don't even believe myself when I try praising, so it's not worth the effort. I have a billion and two reasons. Do you enjoy cloudy days? Why or why not? Honestly, not very much anymore. I've found that it actually does affect my mood. I like some cloud coverage, though. Would it bother you to be forgotten after death? Yes, even though when you think about it, most of us will be. I want to do stomething so badly; not even particularly something major, but just contribute to things and causes that matter and slowly change the world for the better. It's especially likely I will be forgotten though at some point because I don't want kids, so my blood isn't carrying on. Do you tend to prefer healthy or unhealthy snacks? Ugh, unhealthy. Has anyone ever asked you for diet advice? I think so, back when I started recovery and lost like 60 lbs fast as fuck. I wasn't even dieting though, just... came off awful meds. What age is your youngest aunt? Ummmm I have no clue. Do you like bowling? Yeah, it's fun, but I'm not good at it. Do you like roasting marshmallows on a bonfire? Totally. Do you prefer sweet or sour fruits? Sweet. How're your dancing skills? Rusted to the point of just not functional anymore lmao. What brand of batteries do you usually get? I don't pay attention to the kind Mom gets. Are any of your friends pregnant or have kids? A lot of my FB friends have kids. At least two are pregnant, but I only consider myself remotely close to one. I'm beyond worried about how she's going to be as a mom. Where's the strangest place a fast food restaurant was located? I've certainly seen some questionable placement in busy areas, but none that are super odd. Do you stay up all night on New Years Eve/Day or go to bed after 12am? I don't care nowadays; I just stay up until I'm tired like every other night.

[fridayfirefly]

Lost and Found [Part Eight]

Masterlist | Ao3

Time passed, and Marinette loved every second of it, especially the time she spent with her friends. By the time she graduated from collège and moved onto lycée, her group of friends had expanded. She, Nino, Kim, Alix, Chloé, and Adrien spent as much time as they could together. The group of six had started an unofficial language-learning club. Marinette, Nino, and Chloé all made a pact to learn English, their Soulmates' primary language. Kim, Alix, and Adrien chose Japanese as their language of choice. For a while, Marinette was exceptionally proud of herself for taking the initiative to learn English, until she learned that her Soulmate's actual native language was Arabic. It took only five minutes of begging for Nino to agree to teach Marinette Arabic. She didn't pick it up as naturally as she picked up English, but after three years, she got rather proficient.

Time passed, and Marinette yearned for her Soulmate. Every Friday night for three years, she spent with her five best friends in the world. They baked cookies, watched movies, and stayed up late talking about Soulmates. But there was always something missing - her Soulmate. Marinette desperately wanted to meet him, but she knew that neither of them was ready. They were both too young. Marinette's parents didn't want her to meet him until she was at least sixteen. Still, Marinette thought that she deserved to at least know his name. After all, he learned her name when they were fourteen. Marinette had slipped up and sent him a picture of one of her pieces of artwork, a piece with her signature at the bottom. When Marinette asked him to return the favor, he decided, citing that their previous agreement to not reveal names until they were sixteen was still in effect. Marinette knew he was right. Learning more information about him would only increase the temptation to try and discover his identity, and discovering his identity would only lead to her trying to meet with him. But understanding didn't make it any easier, not when she so desperately wanted to hold his hand and talk all night with him - in person, not through paper.

Time passed, and Marinette got better at being Ladybug. She and Chat Noir learned how to work together. At first, it was a little rocky. Marinette was her clumsy self, tripping over her yo-yo string and falling flat on her face every time she tried to use her new wings. Chat Noir was a good partner, though it took him some time to figure out how to work as a team. Eventually, they both perfected their roles as Paris's superheroes. Things only got better after the superhero duo revealed their identities to each other. Learning that Chat Noir was actually her friend Adrien Agreste was a relief - Marinette already had so much on her plate, and Adrien helped take some of the load off of it.

Time passed, and the burden of fighting Hawkmoth decreased. At first, fighting him felt like a full-time job. Marinette and Adrien had to transform at all hours of the day, and sometimes the fights would last hours and require multiple retransformations. For two sleep-deprived thirteen-year-olds, it felt like hell. But eventually, Hawkmoth's attacks decreased. A viral campaign, started by none other than Chloé Bourgeoise, called on the people of Paris to be kinder to each other, to help strangers in need, to do whatever they could to prevent akumas, instead of simply waiting for Ladybug and Chat Noir to fix everything. Amazingly, it seemed to work. Hawkmoth's akumas didn't stop entirely, but overall they grew less powerful, and eventually, less frequent. Tikki and Master Fu both had their own theories for Hawkmoth's gradual decline, but Marinette believed wholeheartedly that it was Chloé's doing.

Time passed, and Marinette changed. She started as an awkward thirteen-year-old, desperately trying to juggle her Ladybug responsibilities, her schoolwork, and her relationship with her Soulmate. Three years later, and Marinette was sixteen. Confident, capable, and ready for anything. She wasn't perfect, she knew that, but Marinette felt that she just might be prepared to meet Damian.

Time passed, and Marinette and her Soulmate passed notes constantly. Three years of notes required five separate shoe boxes just to hold them all. Every one in a while, Marinette would go back and read them all.

I played my first video game today and it was more enjoyable than I expected. My friend Jon got it for me. It's called Ultimate Mecha Strike III, and apparently, his Soulmate recommended it to him. It's really popular in France, but it hasn't caught on in the United States yet. It has a multiplayer mode, so if you play it too, maybe we could play together sometime. D.

After many months of waiting, my eldest brother finally took the engagement ring out of his sock drawer. If he doesn't propose soon I fear that I might have to do it for him. D.

The macarons you sent me this morning were absolutely heavenly. Unfortunately, I made the grave mistake of sharing them with my family. If you do not send more soon, there might be a riot in my house. D.

I passed my driving test this morning. Now that I finally have my license, my brothers will stop bothering me about my illegal driving. It's not my fault that where I live, you can only get legally licensed once you reach sixteen. Frankly, I don't think I should have had to abide by it because it's a rule made for children with poor risk assessment skills. My risk assessment skills are above average, and they have always been. D.

Happy Sixteenth Birthday, Marinette. I hope that you have a wonderful day today, and I hope that this year is the year we finally get to meet face to face. Damian W.

However, it wasn't until the day of Damian's seventeenth birthday, March 19th, that Marinette and Damian finally took the first step towards meeting each other in person.

On the morning of Damian's birthday, Marinette woke up early and headed down to the kitchen. Damian's favorite treat was Marinette's lemon raspberry macarons, so it was a birthday (and half-birthday) tradition that Marinette would bake him a whole batch and send them to him one-by-one throughout the day. The macarons were just a small gift for him, though. Marinette's real birthday gift for Damian was a project she had been working on for weeks. It had taken hours upon hours of practice just to become proficient enough at knitting to even think about beginning the project, but Marinette was nothing if not persistent, especially when it came to the people she cared about. Her gift to Damian was a knitted blanket, but not just any knitted blanket. It was made of soft dark blue and white wool. Marinette had painstakingly knitted it so that it contained the same constellations as would be above Paris on the night of Damian's birthday. So that tonight, even though we are miles apart, we can be under the same night sky. Marinette hoped he would like it. Her friends all assured her that he would (Nino, hopeless romantic that he was, was brought to tears when he read the note, which Marinette hoped was a good sign).

It wasn't until late that night when Marinette was sending the last macaron to Damian, that she finally decided to send her gift.

Every day, I am amazed by you, Marinette. Your creative talent astounds me every time I look at something you created. I will treasure this blanket forever. Damian.

Marinette blushed. The only downside of meeting Damian was that he would see exactly what his words did to her, specifically, the amount that she blushed on a daily basis just from reading the notes he sent to her.

Marinette was getting ready for bed when she received another note. She was immediately curious, as this one was in an envelope.

After the longest engagement in the world (3 years, can you believe it) my brother and future sister-in-law have finally set the date for their wedding. If you are able, I would love for you to be my date for the ceremony. You wouldn't have to worry about a hotel or transportation - my house has a spare bedroom that you can sleep in. You could stay for as long as you'd like, though I know that your internship at Agreste Fashion starts on the 29th, so I'm sure you'll want to be home in time for that. I hope that I can see you soon. Damian.

Attached to the note were a wedding invitation and a plane ticket. The invitation was beautifully designed, cream paper trimmed and decorated in gold foil. YOU'RE INVITED. The ▇▇▇ family invites you to celebrate the union between ▇▇▇ and ▇▇▇. The ceremony will be held on Saturday, June 20th at 5 o'clock at ▇▇▇ Gotham, NJ.

Marinette frowned. He had blacked out the names of his brother and his brother's fiancée, as well as the street address of the wedding location. "I'm not that obsessive," Marinette complained to herself. In fairness, while her actions used to border on stalking, she had mellowed out over the past few years, partially due to becoming Ladybug.

The plane ticket didn't have anything blacked out, though none of the information gave Marinette any hints to Damian's identity, other than the fact that he lived in or around Gotham. It was a standard ticket. American Airlines. The date and time of departure: Wednesday, June 17th, at midnight. The most surprising part of it was that he booked her a first-class seat.

"So sweet," smiled Marinette, "But you didn't have to."

There was one glaring problem in her going to Gotham for a week - Hawkmoth. But his attacks happened so infrequently, practically once a month at that point, that Marinette didn't think it should be her biggest concern. A quick internet search revealed that in the worst-case scenario, a nonstop flight from Gotham to Paris was seven hours. While Hawkmoth could certainly do damage in those seven hours, the miraculous cure would reverse all of the damage. Marinette knew it was slightly irresponsible of her, to put her Soulmate responsibilities over her Ladybug responsibilities, but she pushed the thoughts out of her mind. For once, she was going to make a selfish choice. Without even alerting Tikki of the situation, Marinette snagged a piece of notebook paper off of her desk and penned a note to her Soulmate.

To start, I would love to be your date to your brother's wedding. It might take a little bit of convincing to get Maman and Papa on board but I'm pretty sure I can get them to agree. I am sixteen now, after all. Also, you didn't have to spend so much money on the plane ticket. You're already letting me stay with you at your house. I would have been fine flying coach.

I’m glad you liked my birthday present. Hopefully, my next gift to you will be given in person. I’ll be counting down the days until I arrive in Gotham. ~~Marinette~~

Marinette sent the note off, going to bed before waiting for a reply. After all, she would need to be well-rested for a long day of convincing her parents to let her travel to Gotham alone.

——————————————————————

“No way. Gotham is one of the most dangerous cities in America. I’m not letting you travel there alone.”

"But Papa-"

"No."

Marinette frowned. Breakfast had gone a lot worse than she had expected. While she knew her Dad would put up a fuss, she hadn't anticipated him being so dead set against her going. It was Marinette own fault, for not preparing for the argument with her Dad, for trying to pass the trip off as "no big deal", for not doing her research on the crime rates in Gotham (apparently they were exceptionally high, nearly twice as dangerous as Paris). Marinette thought that the discussion would be fairly simple, but her Dad wouldn't budge.

"Tom, she has to meet Damian at some point. This is a good opportunity for her to get to know him and his family." Marinette's Mom was tentatively on her side, but Marinette could tell that even she wasn't fully on board with the plan.

I won't have Marinette traveling halfway across the world, unaccompanied, just to meet her Soulmate."

"What if I wasn't unaccompanied?" asked Marinette.

"It would be too difficult for us to take a week off from the bakery, you know that, Marinette," said Mom. "There's just no way that this trip of yours will work. I'm sorry, Sweetheart."

Marinette sighed, her shoulders slumping. "Fine," she whispered. Abandoning her half-finished breakfast muffin, Marinette grabbed her backpack and left the kitchen. "I'm off to school. Not sure whether or not I'll be home for lunch."

Marinette spent the walk to school holding back angry tears. Her parents promised her that she could meet her Soulmate when she turned sixteen. Yet now that she had the opportunity, they were opposed to it just because they didn't like the city he lived it. (In the back of her mind, Marinette knew that they were just looking out for her, but at that moment, missing the wedding felt like the end of the world).

"What's got you in such a bad mood?" asked Chloé as soon as Marinette sat down next to her.

The entire group of friends all had independent study together first thing in the morning, so all eyes were on Marinette when she pulled the envelope out of her backpack. Spilling the documents inside across the table, Marinette said, "Damian invited me to his brother's wedding, which would be wonderful, except my parents won't let me go because it's in Gotham."

"Gotham as in Batman and Robin?" asked Kim.

"Yep. Apparently, the crime rates are really bad, and my parents think it's too dangerous for me to go there alone."

Chloé picked up the invitation, furrowing her brow as she read it. "This is going to seem crazy, but look at this." Chloé grabbed a book out of her backpack, the copy of Pride and Prejudice that she had gotten so long ago, and opened up the front cover. Tucked inside was the same wedding invitation that Marinette had. "Yesterday, my Soulmate invited me to his brother's wedding as his plus one."

Marinette's eyes widened. "You mean-"

"Damian and J.T. are brothers."

Nino cleared his throat. "I got this from Jon this morning." He held the same invitation in his hands. "Jon says that his family is really close to the family of the groom, and Jon's brother is dating one of the groom's brothers."

"Just how many brothers are there in this family," Alix exclaimed.

"I suppose Damian has at least three," said Marinette. "He talked about his brother's a lot, but I never really connected the dots that there were three of them."

"Wait a minute," said Chloé. "If Nino and I go with you, you won't be going unaccompanied."

"We should all go," Nino suggested.

Kim shook his head. "Alix and I are spending all of June in Japan with Kagami, remember."

"Maybe next summer then," Chloé decided. "We should all take one big vacation somewhere next summer. Maybe a cruise."

While Chloé was brainstorming vacation ideas, Adrien had pulled out his phone to check his calendar. "Damn," he swore. "I have Fashion Week in New York City from the fourteenth to the twentieth. There's no way my Father would let me miss that."

"Maybe you could come afterward," suggested Marinette. "Gotham is only a two-hour drive from New York City. You could be in Gotham on the twenty-first, and you'll still get to spend time with us."

Adrien nodded. "I think that might work. Father would make me bring a bodyguard, though."

"Even better. There's no way my parents could complain about me being unaccompanied if I had a trained bodyguard with me for nearly all of the week."

"Then it's a plan," Chloé sounded excited.

"I can't wait," said Marinette, her mind already starting to daydream about her future trip to Gotham, to see Damian in person for the first time.

——————————————————————

Good news, Damian. I got my parents to agree to let me travel to Gotham. It's a bit of a long story, and I think I might wait to tell you about it until I can tell you in person. Also, you'll have to send me the dress code so I can start making my dress.

I'd like to stay in Gotham until the 27th if you're able to have me for that long. I'll leave early that morning, so I'll have a day to adjust to the jetlag.

There are 89 days left until I get on the plane to Gotham, which means that there are approximately 2136 hours until I meet you face to face. I might die from the wait, but I know that it will be worth it when I get to see your pretty face. ~~Marinette~~

Marinette felt her guilt grow every day that she didn't tell Tikki about the wedding. Marinette didn't like keeping secrets from Tikki, but she also knew what Tikki was like when she was disappointed, and it made her cringe away from the idea of telling her. But enough was enough, and a week after Marinette agreed to go, she brought it up to Tikki.

"Hey Tikki?"

"Yes, Marinette."

"How bad do you think it would be if Chat and I took a vacation in June."

Tikki narrowed her eyes in thought. "A train from London to Paris can make the journey in just under two hours. It's not ideal, but a vacation would be doable."

"I wasn't exactly thinking of England."

"Germany then? Spain? Switzerland? They're all a little further away, but another hour isn't the end of the world."

"I was thinking..." Marinette hesitated. "I was thinking Gotham. To meet Damian."

"No way."

"But Tikki, you don't understand."

"A flight from America to Paris would take far too long in an emergency."

"It's seven hours. You said another hour isn't the end of the world. What's another three or four?"

"Ladybug is not a hobby, Marinette. It's a full-time responsibility. You know that."

Marinette felt like her arguments were going nowhere. "Tikki, listen to me. Hawkmoth's attacks have been more and more infrequent lately. It's over halfway through March now, and we've only had four so far this year. All four were very weak akumas. Chat and I defeated them all in less than twenty minutes. Hawkmoth, for whatever reason, isn't attacking with the same level of danger as before."

"Hawkmoth is still a threat."

"I understand that, but a flight from Gotham to Paris is seven hours. While the akumas would cause damage during those seven hours-"

"-and that damage to Paris would damage the reputations of Ladybug and Chat Noir. The citizens of Paris will spend seven hours believing that they've been abandoned by Ladybug and Chat Noir."

"We can fix any physical damage. As for damage to our reputations, it wouldn't be that hard to record a message telling everyone to remain calm and wait for us to show up. It wouldn't be great for our reputations, that's true, but I’ve given the last three years of my life to Ladybug. I deserve to be Marinette for a little bit.”

“I- I- Fine,” Tikki sighed. “You and Chat do deserve a break. I’m sorry for being so unreasonable.”

“It’s not your fault. You’re just looking out for Paris, in case I get a little too wrapped up in my own life. We balance each other out.”

Tikki nodded, her smile returning. “Life is better with a little bit of balance.”

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