#wish i were heather

[deadlypoetacademia]

december 3rd.

[sajra-savera]

Give me your sweater on the 3rd of December and get a lifetime subscription to me. Deal?

[instantsandwichkingdom]

Me cuz I just bought two sweaters from the Conan gray store

[justajigsaw]

🌀🌀🌀🌀conan gray, you want to release heather (lost verse version) on streaming services so bad 🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀

[urlocalmanicpixiedreamboy]

Hello, i come to this sacred and holy site to confess and get something of my chest. I have been suffering from one of the most massive unrequited crushes known to man for the last year. A YEAR. And yet, here I am, still pining and yearning for a mediocre someone who hasn’t thought about an ounce. It’s bad. My deluluness has been the only thing keeping me going, and keeping me from actually breaking down and getting shipped to an insane asylum. I sat by and watched this person go through MULTIPLE relationships while I have stayed excruciatingly single. My heart simply won’t move on. Also this person is lowkey not worth it, yet I still pine. I feel like a medieval prince who is destined to die alone because his true love is unattainable. However my brain tells me if I’m patient enough, it will happen. (It won’t) Male yearning has indeed made a comeback, and here I am. Writing a tumblr post like it’s 2011.😔

It’s tough out here….

Much love,

ur local manic pixie dream boy🫶

[charsoamerican]

Here’s a few sweaters for everyone who has a heather and won’t get one this December 3rd 🫶🫶

[brilovesbyler]

I am personally giving all us lonely coneheads a sweater🍂🍂🍂

[northlt03]

Wish I were Heather

I wrote this on the train with Heather by Conan Gray playing on a loop. Listen to Heather while you read it for a better experience. Sirius’ baby brother. Would James always know him as that? Just his best mate’s brother? Even at eleven, Regulus wanted more. Regulus heard about him before he met him. The sun. The one pulling Sirius towards him, into his orbit. He would admit he was jealous back then, very jealous. The only thing that mattered to him at ten, was that this random posh kid at Hogwarts was stealing his brother. And to someone Sirius meant the world to, it was quite infuriating. Sirius would come back home spreading tales of the “marauders”, as they called themselves. (Regulus thought it was quite stupid). The pranks they pulled, the mischief they got up to, the stories James told him. Sirius, the star, was completely and utterly bewitched. It was always- James said this, James did that, James laughed at this joke, James- Ten year old Regulus had enough of this James Fleamont Potter. James who could do no wrong in Sirius’ eyes. He even tried to tell his parents to get Sirius mentally evaluated. So at eleven, when he boarded the Hogwarts express, he was intent on having James as his arch nemesis. There's a certain dramatic flair that comes from being born a “Black” and being eleven year old. So to him, at that time, it made perfect sense that he would hate this boy forever. When Sirius dragged him to their carriage for the first time, Regulus scoffed at the tall lanky boy. But Sirius had shaken his head “That's Remus. James must not have got on yet” The boy that walked in after them made Regulus question everything. Words came up in his mind, words like - the sun, bright, sunshine, but also- brother stealer. At eleven, Regulus black fell for the sun. When he smiled, he showed off all his teeth. Some were crooked, but the force of the smile made the whole carriage light up. James Potter was all wide smiles and ruffled dark hair. He didn't have glasses then, just a twelve year old boy in a red jumper, bubbling with excitement. looking at him, Regulus could tell what drew Sirius in. James was the sun, there was no other explanation. Once you entered his orbit, it was hard to ever leave. Regulus tried, he tried so, so hard to hate him. In Hogwarts, he felt horribly lost and alone. He turned back to his hate for company. He tried to convince himself he hated James, absolutely loathed him. James, with his stupid smile and his stupid arm around Regulus’ brother. James with his elaborate pranks that inconvenienced everyone else and his practical jokes.  James with his loud laughter and warm presence. James with his extremely obvious crush on Lily Evans. Regulus hated him. He did. He really did. By second year, things got tense between the brothers. Only twelve, and Regulus felt more mature than his older brother. Only twelve and he wanted the world to end. Only twelve and he wanted the sun. It was James, of course. Regulus was convinced there was no one else, there would be no one else. For him, it would always be James Potter. Did he hate that part of himself? He did, for a while. Until Sirius snuck into his room during the summer break. His brother told him about Remus in such great detail, that Regulus asked Sirius if he liked Remus. It was easier after that. Their parents expected things from them- family duties, responsibilities that Sirius kept shirking as they got older. Of course they all fell on Regulus. But this story is about the sun, not the stars. Fourth year is when his attraction he called “love”, really turned into love. James grew fitter and better looking with every year. In his fifth year, he looked more mature, more sure of himself. He was still an annoying shit, making the slytherins suffer through all his plans, but Regulus couldn't help it. 3rd of December, Regulus was sitting in the astronomy tower, trying to forget the world existed, trying to live, not just survive. 3rd of December and James potter of all people walked into the astronomy tower. They sat in silence. 3rd of December, James offered his maroon sweater to Regulus. The younger Black had pulled a face and insulted him to his face. James didn't falter. He just smiled wider. 3rd of December and James Potter said the sweater looked better on Regulus anyways. Only if he knew how much Regulus liked him. The love inside him was so vast and deep, sometimes Regulus felt he would drown in it. 4th of December and Regulus stopped dead in his tracks. He was about to hand back the sweater, yes in front of everyone. He would've done that, if it wasn't for Lily Evans. James’ big brown eyes followed her as she walked into the great hall. He lit up, his smile widening, Lily leaving him breathless. So Regulus marched to the gryffindor table and slammed the sweater in front of James. Jealousy. There was no other word for it. It was ugly and dark and it made Regulus want to throw up. He settled for a sarcastic smile and walked away with his head held high. Sitting back down, ignoring the weird looks, Regulus looked back at James. Nothing had changed, absolutely nothing. James still looked at Lily as if she was his entire world. And Regulus was discarded from thought. Merely something you glance back at and frown because you forgot it existed. Lily was such a sight for sore eyes, even Regulus could see it. Fiery red hair and an even more fierce personality. Regulus had talked to her once or twice. He could tell why James liked her. She was brighter than a clear sky. Head held up high, bright green eyes, snarky retorts… she had James mesmerized. Regulus watched with a bitter taste in his mouth. Fifth year and Regulus was on the slytherin quidditch team. They played against the gryffindor, Regulus tried to ignore him, he did. In the end, Regulus caught the snitch. And even though Gryffindor had lost, James looked at him like he was the only star in the sky. If that's what it felt like to have the sun's undivided attention, Regulus wanted it all to himself, forever. He felt like he could conquer the earth, travel to Saturn and back, because of the way James looked at him. And then the players descended, James rushed towards someone in the stands. Red hair flowed as he embraced her. Regulus was off the ground before any of his friends. He brushed past the kissing couple. How could he be so stupid? How could he be so absolutely idiotic? How could he ever think, even for a second that James Potter liked him? James of all the people? Him? Why would he ever kiss Regulus? Regulus had nothing Lily did. He didn't have the red hair that drew James in, instead his black curls gathered near the base of his neck. He didn't have her green eyes, his were a dull gray, ever changing. He didn't have her snarky personality. He considered himself socially inept, awkward and plain old isolated. He wasn't even half as pretty. The next morning, Lily had walked in, bright as ever. A smile almost as wide as James’. The Gryffindors had lost, but it seemed like James was elated for a completely different reason. It had nothing to do with the match and everything to do with the maroon sweater Lily was wearing. He gave her his sweater. It was just polyester, but James liked her better. “Wish I were Lily” He admitted. His friends teased him about it endlessly. None of them knew how pathetically sad it was. It wasn't something to joke about. The boy Regulus had been in love with forever, would never love him back. The ache was physical, he could feel it in his chest. He was a boy with a universe of pain in his rib cage. Regulus wasn't a bitter person, contrary to popular belief. He was actually quite pleasant. He had hobbies, he liked to read and write. He liked the wind in his hair when he was on a broom, he liked the blood rushing in his ears when he played quidditch. But all of it seemed inconsequential in comparison to James Potter. The happy couple stood by the black lake, hand in hand. Regulus froze, there was no way to describe the thoughts running through his mind. James’ arm traveled upwards, he slung it around her shoulders. He wanted to pretend to be nonchalant. But there was no denying the way he seemed to shine brighter when she moved closer. Regulus shivered. They say jealousy is an ugly emotion. They’re right. There was nothing pretty about his jealousy. It was like a fire, all consuming. Regulus wondered briefly if James was a sun after all. Instead, he seemed like a collapsed star, a blackhole. Drawing everyone into his orbit, only to destroy them. But the only one destroyed because of James was Regulus. Maybe there was something wrong with him. Regulus would never be enough.  There's a particular sort of sadness that comes with never being good enough. Regulus was filled to the brim with it. He found himself pinpointing all his faults in the mirror. His hair was untidy sometimes. His glare could be mistaken for hostility. His skin had red bumps and freckles mixed on the canvas of his cheeks, spanning across his nose like they were making constellations. How could he hate Lily? None of it was her fault. She was an accomplished witch by herself. James had nothing to do with that. She was top of the class, a favorite of the teachers. She was such an angel. “But then again, I wish she were gone” They made fun of him for that as well. But he couldn't explain the heartache to anyone else. It was a hollow sort of feeling. Everything in his life was falling apart, add James to mix and Regulus wanted to die. Some stories have happy endings. Regulus supposed this one would too if it was a story in a children's book. The star got the sun and they lived happily ever after. But that's not what happened. James Potter stripped away any semblance of joy Regulus had and he did it all unknowingly. First he took Sirius, then he took Regulus’ heart. He never did return any of the two. Maybe in another universe James would have liked him back. Maybe in another universe they kissed on the astronomy tower, Regulus in James’ sweater. Maybe in every universe except this one, because Regulus was born to die, he was born for misery. Instead of a happy ending, he died all alone. Only eighteen, having suffered so much. He died alone in a cave, thinking he had a chance of defeating the dark lord. Maybe in another universe, because in this one he was destined to be a side character. Mentioned twice, forgotten just as quickly. James died soon after. Even though Regulus tried and failed to bring down the dark lord. James died with a wife and a son. James died with Lily Potter and Regulus was alone, all alone. Maybe in another universe. Maybe in another universe James kissed Regulus instead.

[smql33]

My emotion today is clown because i'm in fact Conan in the Heather love triangle

[average-emo-enigma]

I love songs like Heather where everyone’s gender/sexuality roles aren’t exactly clear but at least one person has gotta be LGBTQ for it to make sense

[sapphiccooper]

Conan Gray really said “I’m not even half as pretty”, and then had the nerve to be the most beautiful human on earth.

[deadlypoetacademia]

Was about to recover from heather day, but this Angel had other plans.

[rosesflowingthroughthewind]

i wish i were heather- chapter two

by: rosie <3

(i swear it’ll get a better name eventually lol)

tw: illness, low self-esteem, slight mention of loss, and the Danes

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A REAL PERSON FIC. NONE OF THE CHARACTERS NOR THE STORY ARE TRYING TO BE BASED AROUND REAL PEOPLE OR EVENTS. I understand the song is partially true to the artist’s real high school life, but this story is meant to be all fiction.

note, i do not speak Danish. i used google translate, so i proudly blame all mistakes on them (jk, pls don’t come for me, sundar pichai)

After Conan put the sweater back on, (which he noticed Miles looking at him doing so, causing him to smile and blush stupidly and probably not very discreetly) the taller boy tied the two bags full of clothes together.

“Ready to go when you are,” Miles said smiling, the bag slung over his shoulder.

Kneeling to tie his shoes, he answered. “Oh, I mean it’s not like I waited 45 minutes, reading one of your terribly, and trust me when I say terribly, annotated books,” he teased, starting to rant. “It’s not like I offered to help you multiple times, but noooo, it’s not my stuff, so it’s just awful to even think about such a thing.”

“That was a nice thing for me to do!” Miles argued.

“I’m not done. All while sadly eating your mother’s delicious Danishes. So I don’t know, the chances of me being ready to go are relatively low…” Conan knew he was very clever, and liked to show it off sometimes, as he teasingly did now.

“Oh, poor you,” Miles retorted, pouting, then smiling, eventually bringing himself to a light chuckle, rolling his eyes, going downstairs from his loft bed. Conan followed, shutting the door behind them.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Hej, mor, jeg er tilbage om est par timer, posen til Goodwill kommer i kasen. Elsker dig!”

Conan knew Miles’ mother, Astrid Nørgaard, preferred her son to speak to her in her native Danish. It always put a smile to Conan’s face when he heard them, and it was even better now that he had a slight idea of what they were saying; Miles had been teaching him since May. He recommended it much more than Duolingo.

The younger, taller boy was telling her they’d be back in a few hours. He was trying to get out of the house quickly. Conan knew why, and he felt sad thinking about it.

“Ah, ah, ah hvor tror du, du løber så hurtigt hen? Giv mig et kram, og for guds skyld, fort æl mig, hvor du skal hen! Det er, som om du er seksten på seksogtyve!” the woman exclaimed.

Conan couldn’t keep his laughter in, and it stifled out. Sixteen going on twenty six. A simple joke, yet so innocently funny. Even due to current circumstances, Mrs. Nørgaard never lost her sense of humor since he’d met her when he was only thirteen.

Miles claimed she’d told him, along with the four older Nørgaard children, that when her husband had died when Miles was just seven, she’d vowed to forever used his dad humor. And to add new cracks along the way. She kept her promise.

“Jeg er ked af det, mor, prover bare at komme,” Miles lied whitely. “Du ved, hvordan det er. Og hey, måske overskrider jeg tiden og fylder seksogtyve; Februar. Man ved aldrig.”

“Åh, du er der allerde, min elskede. Du har altid væ ret så moden at din alder. Jeg har altid elsket det ved dig.”

Miles just about teared up from that.

“Farvel, mor. vi kommer ikke for sent.”

“Farvel, min søn. spis frokost og forbliv hydreret.”

Miles and Conan both smiled, knowing what the lady had said. They headed out the door, Miles dropping the bag of Goodwill clothes in the cardboard box.

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how did you guys like this chapter?? i’ll get the next one out sooner because it was supposed to be in this one but it was a whole lot lol.

like mrs. nørgaard says in danish, have a good day, eat lunch and stay hydrated!! ✌︎('ω')✌︎

-Rosie ( ◠‿◠ )

[instantsandwichkingdom]

Id chose heather over me too

[justajigsaw]

its getting closer.......

2 days

[thedrunkelf]

I didn't get a sweater... But he made me a bracelet