#part of the reason I enjoyed it so much was because it reminded me of lovely night

[cazshmere]

Astrology Observations Pt. 8 🦂

materialist🔖

DISCLAIMER: These are just my personal observations and are meant for entertainment purposes only; it may not resonate with everyone due to the nuances of astrology. Please respect my work and avoid copying or stealing it. Enjoy reading!! 🦂

🦂 I think people who have their chiron in the 3rd/7th or 11th house may experience significant insecurity about posting on social media and being in front of a camera, or even commenting under various posts online. They often overthink the things they put out online/the things they were going to post online 😭 and also if they post pictures/videos they might rewatch the picture/video 984726261 times and often find a SOME tiny fault and convince themselves to delete whatever it is that they have posted. This placement can create a deep-seated fear of judgment and a tendency to second-guess every public interaction

🦂I have noticed that scorpio moons and capricorn moons have very involved and critical mothers/parents, exhibiting behaviors typical of helicopter parenting. For instance they could micromanage every single thing you do or have some sort of comment to make about every little thing you do (also applicable to aries and virgo moons). I also feel that cappy and scorpio moons may find it the hardest to detach from their generational trauma because their parents may have instilled strict principles/beliefs into them and they end up carrying forward all these beliefs which in return makes them more susceptible to repeating toxic patterns which then ends up causing A LOT of trauma to these individuals ❤️‍🩹

🦂 honestly taurus placements aren’t always mindful and demure, despite being ruled by venus. Most taurus placements (esp sun,moon and mars) are NOT afraid to call people out on their bs and are extremely straightforward and direct. The type to insult you straight to your face if you annoy them or smtg 😭 and you’d be like ouch, what was the reason for that??💀. They can come across as arrogant and rude sometimes BUT this all makes a lot of sense as a lot of them tend to be sidereal aries placements after all🙏😂

🦂 speaking of sidereal placements I wanna talk about how virgos can be super playful and child-like (esp with the people they are comfortable with) because they’re leo placements in sidereal + virgo placements also really crave attention, sometimes way more than Leo’s tbh✨

🦂 aries and scorp moon/venus women often attract guys who initially start off as wanting to be/being their “friends” BUT the only reason they wanted to be their friend in the first place is because they see potential for a romantic/sexual relationship with them. It’s sad because literally every guy friend you have/had TOTALLY had other intentions that weren’t platonic 🥲

🦂 having placements in the 2nd house (esp if there are no harsh aspects) just mellows down the intensity of the placement. For instance moon in the 2nd house people can regulate their emotions much more stable and easy manner. Having placements in the 2nd house is such a BLESSING.

🦂 if you think you know someone with a scorpio moon, moon in the 8th house or moon-pluto native, trust me you DON’T😭. no one will ever KNOW every single part of them. They remind me of onions yk? SO MANY LAYERS to them and no one will ever truly know everything about them

🦂 also idk if I’ve mentioned this before but CAN WE JUST TAKE A MINUTE TO APPRECIATE HOW FUCKING FUNNY/HUMOROUS CANCER PLACEMENTS ARE???? literally SO SO witty and make you laugh till your stomach hurts😭🫶🏻

🦂 with age, saturn in cancer natives can look a lot like their mothers 💗

🦂 shadow traits are often expressed through the moon and mars, as these planets govern our raw emotions and drives. For example, an aries moon’s may react with impulsive outbursts and frustration, while a scorpio mars might exhibit controlling, obsessive, or manipulative behaviors to maintain power. These primal reactions tend to surface under stress or vulnerability. To work on your shadow self, it's helpful to focus on your Moon and Mars placements, as these often reveal where you're repeating or expressing toxic behaviors. By understanding how these signs influence your emotional reactions and drive, you can better recognize and address patterns that need healing.

banner/pic credits to the rightful owners

© cazshmere 2024 [All Rights Reserved]

[bamfkeeper]

Reunion.

RQ: 'I was hoping for some hurt/comfort 🙏🏽. I was never really satisfied with Kurt and Amanda's reunion after he came back to life(aside from the fact that that ship gives me a major ick for ibv reasons). It was so anticlimactic! You would think a woman who knew him all his life would she'd a few tears. I was wondering what your take on a reunion scene with Kurt would be? Like the reader was a member of the X-Men and saw Bastion kill Kurt. Because of her grief she leaves the team unable to cope from the loss. And then after years of being without him he just shows up at her apartment just like he did with Amanda.' - @gildedjerk

Pairing: Kurt Wagner x GN!reader

Warnings: Major character death | Descriptions of injuries | Mourning & grief | Happy ending ofc

A/N: Wooo I had a lot of fun with this one. Angst and comfort, yum. Anyway I did try to give a realistic response to him coming back from the dead. I was stuck between two reactions but I think this one is good. I hope you enjoy! Unedited hehe WC: 3.0k

It had only been a week. A week since your heart became slow, dull, and empty.

The mansion took a hit. The team broken into pieces.

It was unusually quiet around the manor. Normally, the sound of padding footsteps and excited laughter and voices filled the halls, but now...it was silent. You weren't' the only one that lost something, but by all hell, you deserved to grieve.

You hadn't left the bedroom you shared for days, your body curled tightly on the bed, clutching his suit against your chest as if it were a lifeline. Tears flowed endlessly, soaking the pillow beneath your head. The salty streams seemed inexhaustible, leaving your eyes red and swollen, leaving you with a constant headache you ignored. You were likely severely dehydrated from the constant outpouring of grief, but in your state of mourning, those concerns held no importance to you. All you desired was to be left alone with your sorrow, to process the loss in solitude.

His suit bore a large, jagged hole, Kurt's dried blood stained the fabric, a sight that simultaneously pained you and kept you connected to him. You couldn't bring yourself to wash it, fearing that doing so would erase the last tangible traces of his presence. The suit still carried his distinct scent, a bittersweet comfort that you clung to desperately. No amount of spraying with cologne could ever bring back his natural musk that he had, and you would rather die than get rid of it.

Embedded within the flexible fabric were tufts of his fur, some parts adhering more stubbornly than others. As you ran your fingers over these patches, you recalled with a mixture of fondness and anguish his playful complaints about how the suit would cause him to shed. Those light-hearted moments now seemed like echoes from a distant, happier time, making the overwhelming ache of his absence feel much worse.

The team struggled to regroup, attempting to rally support and formulate a plan of action in the aftermath of the blatant slaughter they endured. However, you found yourself emotionally paralyzed, unable to contribute to their efforts. The weight of loss and despair settled heavily upon your shoulders, making even the simplest tasks seem insurmountable. In a daze, you rose from your seat, your movements mechanical and detached from conscious thought. You were on autopilot, nothing else mattered, you couldn’t even think.

You began to pack your belongings, carelessly tossing clothes into a small bag without regard for order or neatness. Your fingers then ghosted over the familiar fabric of his suit, the last tangible remnant of Kurt's presence in your life. With reverence, you gently lifted the garment, cradling it against your chest as if it were a fragile, living thing. This suit, once a symbol of his strength and selfless heroism, now served as a poignant reminder of all you had lost. As you held it close, memories of Kurt flooded your mind, intensifying the ache of his absence and solidifying your decision to depart.

You had no tears left. Not right now.

You took your bag and you left.

The nightmares were relentless, haunting your sleep with disturbing frequency. Night after night, your subconscious mind replayed the horrific scene of Kurt's demise, each detail etched with painful clarity like you were reliving that exact moment over and over again. The vivid imagery of Bastion's merciless act - the brutal impalement - refused to fade. You could still see, with sickening precision, the crimson spray erupting from Kurt's azure lips, staining his chest in a macabre pattern, the life essence dripping down his skin and mocking you. The memory of his lithe form, once so full of life and grace, suddenly tensing and then crumpling lifelessly to the ground as Bastion withdrew his weapon, was seared into your mind.

The physical sensations were equally intense. You distinctly recalled the disorienting waves of heat and cold that washed over you, and the violent tremors that wracked your body as adrenaline surged through your system in rage fueled torrents. The emotional trauma was blatant, manifesting in physical symptoms that left you feeling drained and vulnerable, pathetically and frantically scrambling to get to his side in the middle of the battlefield.

The image of your final moments with Kurt were the worst of it all, your eternal Hell that never ceased. Holding his rapidly cooling body in your arms, you watched helplessly as the light in his beautiful, golden eyes gradually dimmed. Even in his last breaths, Kurt's selflessness shone through, as he valiantly attempted to offer you solace and comfort, despite his own dire circumstances.

Your grief and suffering was a wound that never healed. Each night proved that it would only reopen from the desperate scab it tried to become.

As the years passed, your close friends from the mansion persistently attempted to maintain contact with you, but you deliberately distanced yourself from them. The desire to communicate with them had completely faded, and you found yourself wanting to sever all ties with the X-Men.

Your sole focus became an attempt to carve out an existence devoid of the tumultuous chaos that had been an inherent part of life within that unconventional, misfit family. You couldn’t stand any more pain, the loss you took had been severe, thinking about any of your old friends losing their lives was too much to bear.

You retreated into a life of solitude, taking on a mundane and unremarkable job that offered little stimulation or fulfillment. It wasn't so much living as it was merely existing - a bare-bones survival that felt hollow but required.

Yet, in your current state of mind, this was all you felt capable of managing. The weight of your grief remained a constant companion, refusing to lift even as time marched relentlessly forward. The passage of years did little to alleviate the profound sense of loss that had taken root in your heart, leaving you trapped in a perpetual state of mourning that colored every aspect of your isolated existence.

You tried therapy, for a while.

It didn’t help much.

You were constantly bombarded with well-intentioned but ultimately unhelpful advice. People would tell you to move on, as if it were a simple switch you could flip.

They'd say he was in a better place now, as though that somehow lessened your pain.

They'd remind you that years had passed, implying that your grief should have an expiration date.

But none of these platitudes actually provided any comfort or solace. In fact, being told to move on was perhaps the most infuriating of all. It felt dismissive, insensitive, and completely disconnected from the depth of your loss.

The suggestion to move on ignited a spark of anger within you. How could anyone possibly understand the magnitude of what you'd been through? You couldn't even share the full story with them, the pervasive discrimination and prejudice against mutants still ran deep in society, and you weren't ready to expose that part of yourself.

But regardless of the details you had to keep hidden, the fact remained that you had lost the person who brought light and love into your world. It was as if the sun had been extinguished, leaving you in perpetual darkness. The audacity of someone demanding that you simply move on from such a profound loss was both hurtful and enraging. How dare they trivialize your grief and dictate the timeline of your healing? Your pain was yours to process, and no one had the right to tell you when or how to do it.

You came back from a rather dreary work day, annoyed and angry with the world. It felt so unfair. You wondered if Kurt would be disappointed in the sheer amount of hatred that you allowed to consume you. Did it matter?

As you closed your door, you trudged through your barren apartment, your footsteps echoing in the emptiness. You hadn’t bothered to decorate, it was just you, and when you were home all you did was sleep. No reason to waste money on furniture.

Suddenly, a familiar scent wafted through the air - brimstone. That sharp, smoky odor that had haunted your senses for years now made its presence known once again. The acrid smell tickled your nostrils, bringing with it a flood of memories you'd rather forget. At first, you dismissed it as another phantom smell, a lingering remnant of Kurt that your mind conjured up in moments of solitude. After all, these olfactory ghosts had been your constant companions over the years, taunting and mocking you with their ephemeral nature.

You continued your way through the apartment, your mind wrestling with the reality of the scent. The logical part of your brain insisted it was just another trick of your senses, a cruel joke played by your subconscious. Yet, a small voice in the back of your mind whispered that something was different this time. The smell seemed more tangible, more real than the fleeting wisps of memory you were accustomed to. Still, you pushed the thought aside, convincing yourself it was nothing out of the ordinary.

You were just tired. It had been a long day.

As you rounded the frame of the door, preparing to step into the next room, an inexplicable chill ran down your spine. In that instant, you felt everything around you freeze up. The air grew thick and heavy, as if time itself had come to a standstill. Your muscles tensed, your breath caught in your throat as you looked at the familiar figure laying on your couch.

Kurt smiled at you, his familiar figure rising from his seat. His arms extended in a welcoming gesture, a warmth radiating from his presence that you hadn't felt in what seemed like an eternity. "Liebling...I've missed you so much," he murmured, his voice carrying the same tender inflection you remembered.

Every detail about him was overwhelmingly authentic - from the timbre of his voice to the subtle cologne mixed with that harsh brimstone that always clung to his clothes. Your senses were inundated with evidence of his reality; he wasn't just there, he was undeniably real.

A maelstrom of emotions surged through you, leaving you utterly bewildered.

What the Hell is happening?

The thought ricocheted through your mind, unable to find purchase in the face of this impossibility.

You found yourself frozen, incapable of formulating a coherent response. The shock of the moment had completely blindsided you, leaving you reeling as if you'd been struck. It was as though you were face to face with an apparition, a specter from your past that had inexplicably materialized before your eyes.

But this was no ethereal vision - this was tangible, corporeal.

The absurdity of the situation wasn't lost on you; if this was indeed some sort of phantasm, it certainly had a sick sense of humor.

Your lips parted as you let out a soft, trembling sound, his name barely a whisper escaping through the opening. Your eyes, wide with disbelief, were glued on him, taking in every detail of his familiar yet seemingly impossible presence. His demeanor faltered slightly as he noticed your lack of enthusiasm at his sudden appearance, a flicker of uncertainty crossing his features.

"Ah, liebe...I...understand this might be quite shocking to you..." He mumbled out shyly, his voice a mixture of hope and apprehension as he slowly walked towards you, each step careful and measured. "But, I am back. I am truly here, alive and breathing. Can you see that?"

You remained rooted to the spot, unable to bring yourself to move a single muscle. The overwhelming tsunami of emotions that crashed over you felt like it was too much for your body and mind to handle. A wave of nausea washed over you, making you feel as though you were teetering on the edge of consciousness, your stomach churning violently. The sheer impossibility of the situation threatened to overwhelm you completely.

You couldn't fathom how he could be here, standing in your apartment, flesh and blood, after years of believing he was dead. The grief you had painstakingly lived with, the torturous reminders that mocked you every day - it all came crashing down around you in an instant, leaving you reeling in a maelstrom.

Kurt opened his mouth to speak, sensing the overwhelming shock that had gripped you. He anticipated a joyous reaction, but instead, a heart-wrenching, soul-shattering sob escaped your lips, echoing through the air and piercing the silence between you.

Taken aback, Kurt's body tensed, his eyes widening with a mixture of concern and confusion. This unexpected outburst was far from the jubilant reunion he had envisioned in his mind. The stark contrast between his hopeful expectations and the raw, emotional reality before him left him momentarily stunned.

You had always been strong and level-headed with your emotions, but seeing you like this made him realize his absence and sudden appearance again had clearly done some psychological damage. "L-liebling," he stammered, his voice barely above a whisper, thick with uncertainty and worry.

Hesitantly, Kurt extended his hands towards you, offering comfort and desperate support. However, the fear of exacerbating your distress held him back from actually making contact. His fingers hovered in the air between you, trembling slightly as he grappled with the desire to console you and the apprehension of potentially making matters worse.

Kurt bridged the gap between you with a single, desperate motion, not wanting to watch you sob any longer. His arms enveloped you, strong yet gentle, pulling you against his chest. You felt the solid warmth of his body, a sensation you had been deprived of for what felt like an eternity.

As he held you close, Kurt became your anchor to reality, proof that this wasn't just another cruel dream. His familiar scent washed over you, a mix of brimstone and something uniquely him, further cementing his presence. "I'm here, liebe... I'm here," he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. "Es tut mir Leid... I never intended to be absent for so long, but... the circumstances of my return are a mystery even to me. Perhaps this is a divine gift, a second chance from Gott…a miracle. Ja?"

His words were soft, barely above a whisper, yet they resonated deeply within you. "I cannot imagine the anguish you've endured in my absence," he continued, his accent more pronounced in his emotional state. As he spoke, his hand moved in soothing circles on your back, a gesture so achingly familiar it threatened to unravel you completely.

In the safety of his embrace, years of bottled-up emotions finally found their release. The dam broke, and you allowed yourself to experience the full depth of your agony, your body shaking with the force of your long-suppressed grief. Kurt held you through it all, a steady presence as you wept the tumultuous sea of your emotions, whispering words of comfort and love in a mixture of English and German.

You don't know how long you cried for.

You felt your body gradually succumbing to exhaustion, your strength ebbing away with each passing moment. What seemed like mere minutes to your grief-stricken mind had, in reality, stretched into over an hour of uncontrollable sobbing. Throughout this emotional display, Kurt remained steadfast, his arms encircling you in an unwavering embrace, not daring to let you go. He bore witness to your anguish, listening intently to every heart-wrenching wail that escaped your lips, each cry a testament to the depth of your sorrow and mourning. He felt so horrible, seeing just how much you loved him and how the grief had overtaken your being.

Kurt did everything in his power to provide solace. He held you close, gently squeezing you with his arms, whispering soft reassurances, each gesture carefully crafted to soothe you.

"I'm here now," he murmured, his voice a balm to your frayed nerves. "I'm not leaving. I promise..." His indigo lips grazed your sensitive temple while he whispered gentle nothings against your skin. The contact was feather-light, yet profoundly comforting. He peppered your clammy skin with tender kisses, unable to hold back on his affections.

The sudden nature of Kurt's reappearance left you reeling. After enduring the agonizing belief that he was gone forever, his unexpected return stirred up a complex cocktail of emotions - happiness, relief, anger. A part of you yearned for the joyous reunion he seemed to expect, but another part bristled at the simplicity of such an notion.

How could he materialize out of thin air, after all the grief and pain you had endured, and anticipate an uncomplicated, happy welcome? You supposed that is his specialty…appearing suddenly in a rapid purple cloud with that happy smile exposing his fangs.

Kurt wanted that happy reunion. He wanted you jumping in his arms and that loving, passionate kiss he dreamt of and missed since his departure from this plane of existence.

But you couldn't give him that. Not now.

For now, you needed his comforting presence more than anything else. Recognizing your emotional state, he gently lowered himself onto the couch, cradling you in his arms. His embrace was firm yet tender, providing a sanctuary where you could finally release everything that had been weighing heavily on your heart. As he held you close, you continued to sob and cry into his chest, each tear carrying with it a fragment of the pain and stress you had been harboring for so long.

Time seemed to stand still as you remained in his protective embrace, your sobs gradually subsiding as exhaustion began to overtake you. He made no move to interrupt this cathartic process, understanding that sometimes silence speaks louder than words. His steady heartbeat and warm presence served as a lullaby, slowly lulling you into a state of tranquility you hadn't experienced in years.

The conversation you needed to have could wait.

For the first time in what felt like an eternity, you found yourself drifting into a deep, peaceful slumber - a luxury that had eluded you for far too long. His presence alone had snuffed out the vicious plague that infected your mind, the nightmares that were forced upon you over and over of his gruesome death were destroyed.

For the first time in years, you actually slept.

Thanks for reading.

*BAMF*

Dividers by @/adornedwithlight & @/strangergraphics

Cover image from Nightcrawler #1 (2014)

[neflil]

Aah here is the text post...

The usual couple doodles ::D

And future projects / catching up vv

*taps mic* Yaelokre gabbro makes a return. Also new song is out! Go listen to it if you haven't jshfjjs

Just gabbooo :3c

Okay so, gather up everyone. Schools started, I suddenly have to study and memorize two latin texts within a few days, history, and ancient Greek philosophy analyses and translations. Not fun, kinda! I don't have as much time as I did during summer and I can't finish a full drawing within a day. *But* ideas are as vivid as ever. And honestly I really want to do some of the stuff I'm imagining. Some are already in the works !!! These are mostly gabbro/time buddies related. Sorry fans of other characters but I spent the entire summer only drawing slate </3

Sooo... What to expect from me? Well:

• I'm writing a short fic! Which is close to being done- Without saying much- a replay of certain memories before the eventual death/creation of everything.

• I am currently doing an OC piece with two owlks ::D this should probably be next post if I finish it soon!

• More short animatics. Cus I have... So many songs... That I want to draw with the time buddies. Short ranging from a couple of seconds, to maybe a minute, so don't expect much. All I'll say is- guhhh y'all better enjoy flower face because all of these are with her songs lmfao..

> There are two songs atleast that I want to make almost full animatics, but that's probably not going to happen, so instead I'll take sections from them.

> Two lyrics from the same song I made last time buddies animatic. Cus I had a vision and I must fulfil it. If this continues, at this rate I'll animate the entire song every time I get struck with a vision, part by part lmfao.

> A possible gabbro centric animatic with the chorus of a song.

• And well, more school doodles/drawings ofc.. but those are kinda random. Please, if you have any suggestions drop them in my ask box!

• A certain fic might get an animatic. I won't elaborate on this. Patience.

• Lastly Mica and Slate piece, bc apparently I've never drawn them and that should be a crime. Some fluff to break up all this incoming angst.

These have a priority list ofc, but the way I work is pretty much spontaneous. So whatever I'm up for will take priority. It'll take time but I hope to have finished all of these within the next couple of months. We'll see how things go... I also have to balance other things and art in-between so blehhh. It's a mess.

Reminder if anyone wants to browse through my art easier without having to go through my entire account- the tag #noofposting is here for that reason. o7

Also also, since I now have these two animatics and more to come- to not get lost in my acc, I'll also tag them with #noofanimatics to be able to filter through my stuff easier.

[b1rdeyes]

HEAR ME OUTTTT

[cutielatias]

🎆Músicas de 2022✨

●Sacrifice(by T.A.T.U)

●Crawling in the dark(by Hoobastank)

●Lost my DS stylus(by KidSnorlax)

●Woman(by Doja cat)

●sueños muertos(by Bitter end)

●we shall all bleed(by deadlock)

●melodia envolventemente envolvente 4(by Montage, DJ Dudah)

●Bite me(by Avril lavigne)

●niwaka ame(by Tsukiko amano)

●animal i have become(cover español by naranjo)

●hoshi no hate (by Fumiko orikasa)

●LOLLIPOP (spanish cover by piyo,lena etc)

●try (by Patrick brasca & jay chou)

●Clear eyes (by Aidan swank ft bleachblonde)

●Start a fire (by Ryan star)

●Cinderella(by Miss papaya)

●Hero (by Miss papaya)

●Maps (rock version)(cover by our last night)

●Fire (by ÍV)

●Levitating(cover by archers)

●More than friends(by Victoria duffield)

●U know what's up (turning red soundtrack)

●Celestial being (Princess kaguya ost)

●Dominion (by Skillet)

●y voy (by Zion y lennox ft daddy yankee)

●Bimbo doll(by Tila tsoli)

●My boyfriend (by Bubbles)

●Do you think i'm pretty(by creamy)

●Stranded(by plumb)

●Can you feel the sunshine(sonic R ost)

●Totalmente demais(by Perlla)

●Love mist (by Alexis jordan)

●PASSINHO DO MAGRONES(by montagem, Dj mandrake)

●One that I want(by PUBLIC)

●Love me back (sped up) (by Trinidad cardona)

●redchinawave (by zzx3rown)

●The once and Future king (by bloc party)

●lay it down (by steelix)

●papi (by Jennifer lopez)

●Love the way you hate me(by like a storm)

●Hang up (by WRLD ft Savoi)

●opening (dragon hunters soundtrack)

●set it on fire (by my darkest days)

●beautiful mistakes (by maroon5)

●kogda ryadom ty (by Vintage)

●vem de chicote,algema,corda de alpinista(sped up)(by deize trigona)

●This is me(the barbie diaries soundtrack)

●Shine(barbie in 12 dancing princesses soundtrack)

●elevate (by Big Time Rush)

●i know you know (by Big Time Rush)

●Dance like an african(by Lou Bega)

●song for clay (disappear here)(normal+instrumental)(by bloc party)

●i still remember(normal+instrumental)(by bloc party)

●Never again(by Breaking benjamin)

●Substance(nightcore)(by 03 greedo)

●Brisé (by Maitre gims)

●Laissez passer(by Maitre gims)

●Earth to move (by Maroon5)

●Love veritable(by pony pony run run)

●Boyfriend(cover by ISSUES)

●stitches (cover by State champs)

●Goodbye (by Forrest isn't dead)

●Michael(by Remi wolf)

●Waiting for the 7.18 (by bloc party)

●Vision of heaven(by Bloc party)

●Main theme (bleach live action 2018 ost)(by Yutaka yamada)

●Mosquito bite (by ALEXANDROS)

●little thoughts(by bloc party)

●storm and stress(by bloc party)

●skeleton(by bloc party)

●kto tebe skazal (schastlivy vmeste ost)

●want more before I go home(mashup)(jason derulo vs usher)

●love nwantiti(by Ckay)

●V.A.L.I.S (by bloc party)

●Crina negra(by banda patrulha)

●Garden in the air (by BoA)

●Back to back (by Bray me)

●Eu tenho Cristo (by Bem da hora)

●Um norte (by Bem da hora)

●Save me (by my darkest days)

●4 early demos (by bloc party)

●Hurricane venus(by BoA)

●Clock work (by Tsukiko amano & hanatan)

●ASSOMBRA MATRIX 2 (sped up)(by montagem)

●Best I Ever Found (by Mitchell Marlow)

●You Make Me Go Crazy(by Jaco Caraco)

●Maybe you saved me(by Bad suns ft PVRIS)

●We will always win (by Mitchell Marlow)

●Mean (by Bloc party)

●Truth (by Bloc party)

●Summer sunshine(barbie in a mermaid tale soundtrack)

●One in a million(by breathe electric)

●letting go(dutty love)(by Sean Kingston ft Nicki minaj)

●You & me(by Marshmello)

●Just like you (by set for the fall)

●The last song (by 12 Stones)

●Three nails (by set for the fall)

●Anima rossa (by Porno graffitti)

●Got ur number(v2)(by Bugcried)

●Who i am (bratz rock angelz soundtrack)

●Grow up (blah blah blah)(bratz rock angelz soundtrack)

●NASA x E.T(mashup) Ariana grande, katy perry

●Home (by set for the fall)

●Desconfio (by CPM 22)

●Fantasize (by Ericdoa)

●I don't care(bratz rock angelz soundtrack)

●Collapsed (by Al & Aj)

●Go off (by Dawin)

●Ain't it funny (by Jennifer lopez)

●Red is blue (by Ben Folds)

●Tree critter (Hoodwinked soundtrack)

●All I wanted (by Paramore)

●For a pessimist, i'm pretty optimistic (by Paramore)

●The Last first born(by celldweller)(Audiotec,Klayton remix,normal)

●Sha la la la (by hye kyo)(full house ost)

●I think I (by BYUL)(full house ost)

●geu deh ji geum (by Lee boram)(full house ost)

●Glad you came (boyce avenue cover)

●My pace (by Sunset Swish)

●Stand up be strong (bleach ost)

●Happy girl (by bubbles)

●Until the day i die (annaliese cover)

●Perfect enemy (tatu metal cover)(by Synthetic graphics inc)

●I H3ART YOU (by Boy fantasy ft G0r3c0r3)

●papaoutai (by stromae)

●Bodaiju (by Tsukiko amano)

●Super freaky girl x luxurious (tik tok remix)

●Closer (tik tok remix)|KToo Music

●Attachment (by Kanii ft Bossa)

●Stutter (by My darkest days)

●The way we talk (by the maine)

●You're a god (by vertical horizon)

●Say jambo (by mohombi)

●All hail shadow(by magna-fi)

●all things she said(rock/metal cover by lena scissorhands ft Chase the comet)

●We were lovers (by bloc party)

●It's a jungle out here(by Philip Lawrence ft UAKTI)(brazilian version)

●ALWAYS DO (Sandrø reggae remix)(by the kid Laroi)

●Take your shirt off(by millionaires)

●So bitter(by stxlkin)

●Lovin (by Mohombi)

●Do me right (by Mohombi)

●dirty situation(by Mohombi)

●Sex your body (by Mohombi)

●Blue kush bday (bk beats tool)(by merca bae)

●Molitva cowboys (by kanzler gi)

●Welcome home (by Coheed and Cambria)

●Psycho in love (by patent pending)

●Hero (cover by Youth never dies and ankor)

●Rumors (by NEFFEX)

●Faces (by Lene Marlin)

●Pegasus (by Horsegiirl)

●The love bug (by M-FLO ft BoA)

●Starsiigns(by Horsegiirl)

●She's wild( by Merk & Kremont,the beach)

●Cain said to abel (by bloc party)

●Bob Dylan(by fall out boy)

●Boop boy (by caramella girls)

●party party (tik tok remix)(by yally)

●when you cry (by vertical horizon)

●lola (by superbus)

●Secret (by austin mahone)(slowed)

●STAY (No resolve cover)

●Pressure (by RAINS)

●Ohio is for lovers (by hawthorne heights)

●Bleed (by stxlkin)

●Death city (by Garelyhuman + syris & 03osc)

●Popstarz (by syris, hoshie star & maxo xoxo [pixelhood])

●Victim (by 1stress ft xofilo)

●Callum is a snake (by bloc party)

●Nerve (by set for the fall)

●Let go (by set for the fall)

[louisa-gc]

how to start reading again

from someone who was a voracious reader until high school and is now getting back into it in her twenties.

start with an old favourite. even though it felt a little silly, i re-read the harry potter series one christmas and it wiped away my worry that i wasn't capable of reading anymore. they are long books, but i was still able to get completely immersed and to read just as fast as i had years and years ago.

don't be afraid of "easier" books. before high school i was reading the french existentialists, but when getting back into reading, i picked up lucinda riley and sally rooney. not my favourite authors by far, but easier to read while not being totally terrible. i needed to remind myself that only choosing classics would not make me a better or smarter person. if a book requires a slower pace of reading to be understood, it's easier to just drop it, which is exactly what i wanted to avoid at first.

go for essays and short stories. no need to explain this one: the shorter the whole, the less daunting it is. i definitely avoided all books over 350 pages at first and stuck to essay collections until i suddenly devoured donna tartt's goldfinch.

remember it's okay not to finish. i was one of those people who finished every book they started, but not anymore! if i pick up a book at the library and after a few chapters realise i'd rather not read it, i just return it. (another good reason to use your local library! no money spent on books you might end up disliking.)

analyse — or don't. some people enjoy reading more when they take notes or really stop to think about the contents. for me, at first, it was more important to build the habit of reading, and the thought of analysing what i read felt daunting. once i let go of that expectation, i realised i naturally analyse and process what i read anyway.

read when you would usually use your phone. just as i did when i was a child, i try to read when eating, in the bathroom, on public transport, right before sleeping. i even read when i walk, because that's normally a time i stare at my screen anyway. those few pages you read when you brush your teeth and wait for a friend very quickly stack up.

finish the chapter. if you have time, try to finish the part you're reading before closing the book. usually i find i actually don't want to stop reading once i get to the end of a chapter — and if i do, it feels like a good place to pick up again later.

try different languages. i was quickly approaching a reading slump towards the end of my exchange year, until i realised i had only had access to books in english and that, despite my fluency, i was tired of the language. so as soon as i got back home i started picking up books in my native tongue, which made reading feel much easier and more fun again! after some nine months, i'm starting to read in english again without it feeling like a huge task.

forget what's popular. i thought social media would be a fun way to find interesting books to read, but i quickly grew frustrated after hating every single book i picked up on some influencer's recommendation. it's certainly more time-consuming to find new books on your own, but this way i don't despise every novel i pick up.

remember it isn't about quantity. the online book community's endless posts about reading 150 books each year or 6 books in a single day easily make us feel like we're slow, bad readers, but here's the thing: it does not matter at all how many books you read or what your reading pace is. we all lead different lives, just be proud of yourself for reading at all!

stop stressing about it. we all know why reading is important, and since the pandemic reading has become an even more popular hobby than it was before (which is wonderful!). however, there's no need to force yourself to be "a reader". pick up a book every now and then and keep reading if you enjoy it, but not reading regularly doesn't make you any less of a good person. i find the pressure to become "a person who reads" or to rediscover my inner bookworm only distances me from the very act of reading.

[katszumi]

silence immersed the room as the door clicked shut behind you. the ticking clock a reminder of how little time you have.

“you’re such an asshole, you know that?” you spewed to the male in front of you, your features displaying a look of anger.

katsuki rolled his eyes. “well, it’s not like i get called a ray of fuckin’ sunshine. what else did you honestly expect?” he crossed his arms over his chest, taking a seat atop of the long metal table.

“not much, yet you still seem to subceed my expectations.”

“subceed? seriously?” katsuki paused to let a scoff escape his lips. “you’re upset because i’m actually selling this story? the only one, might i add. this was your shitty grand idea!”

unknowingly, you took a step forward.

“the idea was to make it known we disliked each other. not for you to publicly shame and insult me!”

you, katsuki and a few other heroes were invited to attend a press conference. while the original topic was to discuss about the mission you all completed the day before, the topic began to stray away and focus on the relationship between you and katsuki.

japan knows of the hatred you and katsuki shared between each other, that was no unknown fact. the media described you two as fiery rivals considering both of your quirks contained fuel.

you two despised each other. or at least that’s the lie you fooled everyone with.

you were unsure when katsuki started to look appealing to the eye, how attractive he was when he was drowned in sweat, how you began to long for the small but noticeable glances he sent you in public. you couldn’t tell when it happened. but before you knew it, a small pool of desire that had katsuki’s name printed on it began to fill every minute of the day.

“which is no different than what we used to do. you want them to believe it? then don’t take my shit. suck it up and be a bigger asshole than i already am.” he was right. you know he was right. but it was so difficult to pretend as if you hated him.

even if you called him a bitch, or a cunt, maybe even call him out for having a small dick—which you know is far from the truth—that still wouldn’t deny the peace you felt whenever you were with katsuki. how the world seemed to stop still on its axis. how there were no rain, wind or time. just pure bliss.

fuck.

out of everyone, it just had to be him? his captivating, intense ruby irises. his brash, abrasive demeanor. only his words that could seem to sway you. the man the world deemed you to abhor.

instead of admitting the truth, you twist his words. “well, i’m pleased to know it’s so easy for you to do.”

“jesus fuck, y/n.” now, katsuki rose from his position, never once breaking eye contact with you. “you think this is easy for me? you think i like getting up there and lying through my teeth? doing this is the one of the hardest things i’ve ever done.”

he walks closer and even closer to you, minimizing the distance you established for good reasons. this is how it always happens; one of you forgets about the space you two have to maintain until words don’t seem to work anymore. instead, your lips weave together, forming a new way to communicate.

but you don’t move. you don’t want to.

“is it? all those insults feels like it comes pretty smooth to you.”

katsuki pauses as he takes a second to analyze you. his eyes scan your body then leading right up to your face.

“because those are the words i wish i could mean. every time, it burns me to say those things about you when i’d rather be up there claiming every single part about you.” he lowered to a whisper, but his voice maintained a fervent tone.

his hand raises, slow and steady. he cups your cheek, gently swiping his thumb across your cheek. instinctively, you lean into his palm, your eyes softening as you gaze into his eyes.

“you think i enjoy this?” you watch his jaw tighten, his hand dropping to your hip. “think i like watching you talk with those eager men? it takes everything in me to not beat them shitless for daring to come across you. do you know how hard it is to fight the urge to pull you in and show them that you’re not available?”

too captivated by his words, you didn’t notice how katsuki lowered his head. you could feel the heat of his body from how he gave you no room to breathe. he placed his lips on your soft skin, slowly kissing the side of your neck.

no. resist him. your mind was screaming. this couldn’t go on forever. at some point, you guys had to stop.

“what will make them back off? if i mark you up? think they’ll understand then?” he proposed the question, but to you, it seemed more like he was asking for permission.

you didn’t know what effect katsuki placed on you to have you like this. but in this moment, you didn’t care about the rumors, the consequences, your image. it was all pushed back in the back of your head. so, you slightly tilted your head upwards, giving him more leeway to continue.

katsuki gripped your hips. not too strong to leave a mark but strong enough to squeeze a small moan out of you.

“don’t you fuckin’ understand, y/n?” he leans away to look in your eye.

“what?” you meekly responded.

“i go insane when it comes to you. i’m not the kind of guy that drools over any woman’s attention. but, you… fuck.” he stops himself, from what you can only assume was to control himself with whatever he was about to say. “not being able to have you only makes me crave you more.”

you stay quiet.

“you know how many times i’ve tried to resist you?”

“how many?” finally, you spoke.

“too many fuckin’ times. i’m done fighting it, y/n.”

confusion struck your face. “what do you mean?”

“be mine. forget the press, forget our pr managers. be with me.” katsuki brings you closer with the hand placed on your hip, the action drawing you to one conclusion.

he leans in and interlocks his lips with yours. immediately, you drown in the feeling of his soft but chapped lips that you couldn’t seem to push away. somehow, you find the strength to pull back from him.

“not here. not in pub-”

“yes here.”

with his tone, you could mistake him to be aggressive in this moment. but over the months, you managed to be able to read his eyes from the forbidden glances he’s sent your way; how he really felt through the way he wore his eyes.

katsuki’s eyebrows were slightly furrowed, his soft ruby eyes shifted from your lips to your e/c irises.

there was a look behind his eyes. there were more watchful, more tender than usual. almost as if he was pleading with his eyes. like he was begging.

so, how could you say no to him in this state? him being so vulnerable with you?

but that was always the problem.

you could never say no to katsuki bakugou, no matter what.

your arms wrap around his neck, drawing him in with your eyes. he inclined his head and laid his lips on your mouth. the silence that did wrap the room ten minutes ago was replaced with the noise of sloppy kisses, your mouths powering over each other.

you can feel your heart rate increase from the action, even more noticeably so when he entangles a fist in the back of your shirt. he needs you closer, maybe within his skin if possible.

following his action, you guide your fingers through his ash blonde strands, sending a shiver down his spine. he nibbles on the bottom of your lip, pulling it just slightly.

“we really shouldn’t be doing this.” your murmur, yet his ears catches it. “this would be the hottest topic for the media.”

a snicker parted his lips. “we just can’t be caught. but the day you stop being scared, i’m ready.” his words vague and simple, yet still holding so much promise.

“i hate you.”

and you did. you hated that he was too enticing. too irresistible.

“thought it was hard for you to say things you don’t mean?” he referred from earlier. of course, that was just like him. the same him you mistakenly fell for.

“just shut up.” was all you replied with before leaning back in to connect his lips with yours, choosing to help him with your statement.

this was supposed to be like a forbidden love trope but i think i just revealed how thirsty i am😔

[specshroom]

A Mischievous Fairy

˚˖′.⊹ ࣪ ˖˚·˖*.⊹ ࣪ ˖˚·˖′.⊹ ࣪ ˖˚·˖*.⊹ ࣪ ˖˚·˚˖′.⊹ ࣪ ˖˚·˖*.⊹

When a humble farmer decided to live on the outskirts of town right next to the forest he did not expect to make friends with a small temperamental creature from the forest.

It was a pretty good deal you had going on, you help his plants grow with fairy magic and he gives you a safe warm place to sleep and home cooked meals. Most days are spent with you doing your best to annoy the poor farmer as he tries to remind himself that you're the reason his produce sells for such high prices.

You fly around his head making little jingle noises and he tries to ignore you and go on with his work. You steal little things like spoons, screwdrivers, pencils and put them in places he can't reach like on top of the cabinets and shelves. When you get mad at him you grow weeds in his crops until he apologizes or gives you a gift to your liking. Despite this the farmer has grown to truly enjoy your company...for the most part.

His loneliness is getting to him and he's tried to have company over but it's kind of hard to explain to guests why there's a little, scantily clad fairy staring daggers at them the whole time. It definitely ruins the mood as he tries to convince them you won't bite (you will and you have).

One day the farmer comes home from town looking more excited than usual. You plop yourself on his head as he walks around his little cottage.

As he sorts through all the items he bought you get impatient and decide he's not paying enough attention to you. You fly right in front of his face and pose for him, showing off the new outfit you made out of flower petals in his garden.

"Not right now, Tiny."

The farmer rolls his eyes and gently shoos you away with his hand, focusing back onto his apparently very interesting haul from the market. The very rude gesture gets you all fired up and you're in his face again this time with your hands on your hips and an angry expression. The farmer sighs and gently cradles your tiny body in his hands.

"Look, I'm busy. Alright?"

He walks over to the windowsill and gently plops you down onto the little pincushion he set aside for you. You sit there with your arms crossed, glaring at him as he puts away his items.

While you're sulking you notice a little bottle of purple liquid poking out of the farmers front pocket. You quietly flutter over and sneakily inch the tiny thing out of his pocket.

"Hey!"

The farmer tries to stop you but you're much faster than him and fly up, out of his reach. The glass bottle is a little bigger than you're torso and when you inspect it the label says "Growth serum"

You let out quite a dramatic gasp and look down at the farmer, betrayal written all over your face.

"Now Tiny, don't jump to conclu-"

The farmer starts but is interrupted by a very angry fairy yelling things he doesn't understand right in his face. All he can hear is jingles but he's sure he's getting severely cussed at. He understands why, you helped this man grow his crops bigger and better than ever and now you think he wants to replace you for some stupid, probably overpriced serum?

You angrily throw the bottle to the ground and the farmer dives down to clumsily catch it before it smashes onto the floor.

As you feel tears fall down your hot cheeks, you flutter back to your windowsill and sit with your head between your knees.

"Hey, don't cry now."

The farmer sheepishly leans against the windowsill next to you.

"I promise, it's not for the plants. You already help me out so much with that and I appreciate it a lot. I don't need anything else."

You peak your head out from your arms and look at him skeptically.

He holds his hand out to you and you hesitantly flutter onto his palm, enjoying the warmth of his touch despite the cold wetness of your cheeks.

"Truth is, it's lonely for me out here... and I know you get lonely too."

You scoff at him. Obviously, the whole reason you were upset in the first place was because he was ignoring you.

"I uh... I got this for you. So we could....uh well only if you want to, I mean... I don't know."

You stare at him dumbfounded as he fumbles his words, you've never seen the farmer like this before.

You shoot up to hug his cheek, jingling in excitement. You give him tiny kisses and he laughs at the ticklish feeling. You float to the counter in front of him and bounce on your heels waiting for him.

"Alright, alright."

He chuckles at your stark change in mood and uncaps the tiny bottle of magic liquid. You brace yourself as he carefully lets one single drop fall onto your little head.

Nothing happens for a moment but before you could feel disappointed the world blurs and you're suddenly face to face with your farmer.

He stares down at where you sit on his counter, now perfectly human sized. Your cute dress didn't survive the quick transition but you don't seem to mind as you jump the poor farmer.

You grab his face and kiss him deeply. Finally feeling his lips on yours makes your wings flutter and your heart sing as you lock your legs around him to pull his body closer.

"Alright, slow down."

He says through kisses and huffed laughs as you kiss all over his face and neck.

"Now why don't you let me show you how much I appreciate you."

He mumbles in a sultry tone, bringing his hands down to grip your ass and grind your hips into him.

He laughs at the way your wings violently flutter and takes that as eager agreement.

˚˖′.⊹ ࣪ ˖˚·˖*.⊹ ࣪ ˖˚·˖′.⊹ ࣪ ˖˚·˖*.⊹ ࣪ ˖˚·˚˖′.⊹ ࣪ ˖˚·˖*.⊹

[afterglowsainz]

i'mgonnagetyouback | max verstappen

part 2

summary: after you and max broke up you released an album about it and when you go on tour, you didn't expected max to be there front row after being dragged by his new girlfriend's daughter

warnings: none

word count: 877

a/n: this is kinda told in max's pov (?, also heavily inspired on taylor's eras tour and i slightly changed the lyrics of the song to relate it a bit more to max

the tortured athletes department series

the lights were out in the stadium but there was barely any darkness. the lights of flashes from phones and twinkling colored light bracelets illuminated the allegiance stadium in las vegas, every person there waiting for the one and only y/n y/l/n.

if you would’ve told max months ago that he was gonna be at her ex-girlfriend’s sold out concert the same weekend he was racing in vegas, he would’ve laughed in your face. but here he was, waiting with the other 69,000 people for her to show up on stage and sing all her hit songs, including the ones that she wrote about him after their breakup.

he had to remind himself that the only reason he was doing this was because of his new girlfriend's daughter, who begged them for weeks to take her to y/n’s concert or she would simply die. she was y/n’s biggest fan because, of course, karma had to do that to max. so there he was, in the vip section of the stadium without y/n’s knowledge, next to his new girlfriend and her daughter.

the lights on the bracelets turned off and the stadium went a bit darker than before, announcing the start of the show. when a huge clock on the stage came up and it reached the number zero, y/n came out singing the first song of the concert and the crowd went wild. max was immediately mesmerized by her. she hadn’t changed much since they broke up, that much he noticed, and she was as beautiful as ever.

he had to control himself not to sing along to her songs to not give his girlfriend a bad impression, even though her daughter was singing all her songs by heart. he just nodded and move along with the rhythm, avoiding the gaze of his girlfriend who was very well aware of her boyfriends history with the singer on stage.

y/n was singing her most famous songs and a few that were more lowkey, and when they reached the acoustic set of the concert, she was carrying a wide smile while playing a few keys on the piano. max smiled at the sight of her.

“hello, vegas!” she shouted at the microphone, making the whole stadium scream. “welcome to the acoustic set.” she smiled. “i’ve been meaning to sing different surprise songs every night, some that i haven’t played in a while, some others brand new. this one particularly is from my new album, i hope you enjoy it.”

max stopped breathing for a second. it was very well known with the public that y/n’s new album was about their breakup and she hadn’t sung any of those songs until tonight. he didn’t know what to do with himself or how to behave, so he simply crossed his arms and stood a bit further into the vip section. in the location he was he had a perfect view of her, but she hadn’t seen him all night.

soon enough y/n start singing one of the songs from the new album that max new for a fact was about him. he hadn’t listen to the whole album because he just didn’t want to relieve the breakup. in his defense he did try to give it a listen, but it was just to overwhelming for him so he had to stop listening mid-album, but this one he knew.

Lilac short skirt / The one that fits me like skin

max submerged himself in the lyrics and y/n’s incredibly familiar voice. only now she wasn’t singing just for him, but for thousands of people.

Whether I'm gonna be your wife or / Gonna smash up your car, I / Haven't decided yet / But I'm gonna get you back

a rebel smile appeared on his face, incapable of hiding how much she meant to him, how much he had missed her. seeing her there, singing her heart out on stage for a crowd of people who were crazy about her, god, how could he lost her?

I can feel it comin', hummin' in the way you move / Push the reset button, we're becoming something new / Say you got somebody, I'll say, "I got someone too" / Even if it's handcuffed, I'm leaving here with you

the smile on her face while singing the song she wrote made his smile even greater. he didn’t know the song fully like his girlfriend’s daughter, but he knew; he lived it, just as much as she did. in that moment in time, he felt connected to her in a level that no one in the stadium was.

I hear the whispers in your eyes / I'll make you wanna think twice / You'll find that you were never not mine / I'm gonna get you back

when the song finished, the multitude exploited in praise and y/n’s smile grew on her face. max completely forgot about everyone else and joined the crowd, screaming for her and applauding. y/n stood up from the piano and did a small bow before leaving the stage for her next set of songs.

it was as clear as day for max and it struck him like lightning. he was gonna get her back.

[vivalarevolution]

𝓖𝓸𝓭𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓼 𝓸𝓯 𝓒𝓪𝓵𝓪𝓭𝓪𝓷

Paul Atreides x Reader

Request: „Paul Atreides falling in love with his father's younger wife, whom he recently married for political reasons, yet he remains loyal and in love with Jessica.‟

A/N: Request from anon. A very interesting concept that I thoroughly enjoyed writing. As always, I hope you will like reading my work, especially since this is my first attempt at writing for Paul Atreides.

Please remember that english is not my native language and mistakes might happen.

She reminded him of a goddess , a being from ancient books that survived the destruction of Old Terra. She was beautiful like Aphordite , full of warmth as Hestia and innocent and sensitive as Persephone. Yet her eyes were full of sadness , like those belonging to Oizys.

And the young duke hated it.

He hated her sadness. The sadness which was caused by his own father. Leto Atreides married her , but there was no love between them , there was only darkness and misery that was draining the young woman from the inside. In Paul's eyes, his father's actions were cruel. He did not deserve such a delicate soul , and much less he deserve it to destroy it.

He tried , almost desperately , to understand the man when his eyes followed him with his own mother , but in vain. Because he loved the woman he could not have too much to forgive him for what he did to her.

So he stopped. He stopped looking for forgiveness , which never existed.

Instead, he surrendered to the arms of forbidden desire , surrendered to the feelings he had been hiding so deeply inside himself, surrendered to her will without her even knowing.

His shadow began to follow hers, her steps became his steps , her breath became his breath.

And suddenly Paul Atreides became everything to her that his father never was. He became her protector , her rock , her guardian , her savior.

But that wasn't enough for him. He wanted more. He had to have more.

He found her in her chambers , she was sitting on one of the many cushions, reading. But when she felt a presence behind her she stopped , turning her head to the side , looking out of the corner of her eye at the young duke.

-Paul - she said softly , turning fully in his direction - What brings you to me? - she asked him , closing the book , which suddenly no longer seemed interesting to her.

He didn't answer , not immediately.

But as the silence lengthened between them , the tension begin to grow as well.

-I want you - he replied suddenly , and despite the seriousness of the sentence his voice was composed , remarkably calm.

-What? - the woman whispered, shocked.

His words seemed to cut through the air like the sharpest knife, leaving behind a mark that was impossible to erase.

-I want you - he repeated , slowly approaching her figure.

She watched his movements , stopping only when the brunet kneeled before her.

-But you already have me - she said , placing her hand on his pale cheek.

Paul grabbed her wrist and closed his eyes allowing her addictive scent to dull his senses.

-Not in the way I would have wanted - he confessed , tasting her soft skin with his lips.

At his words, the woman pulled her hand from his hold , moving away from her husband's son.

-We can't. You know it's forbidden - she announced, furrowing her eyebrows.

-I know - he responded , getting up from his knees to approach her yet again - But no matter how cruel the truth is , my father does not love you , he never will. And I hate him for it, I hate him for marrying a woman he is not able to love.

-The world has always been cruel Paul. You cannot change it , you are in no position to. You are not a god - she said with a shadow of sorrow in her voice , feeling tears involuntarily flow into her eyes.

-But I can change the part of the world you belong to.There will be no more misery , no more pain - he declared, approaching her , trapping her between the wall and himself.

-Don't say that. I am begging you , don't say that - she whispered , closing her eyes, trying to push the brunet away from her, but to no avail.

The man kissed her cheekbones , nuzzling his face into her thick locks.

-Tell me the truth - he asked , but was met with silence - Tell me the truth - he repeated , but his voice no longer sounded familiar.

-I love you more than life itself Paul. I'm willing to die if it means I can taste your lips, even for a slight moment - she admitted, but although her words were sincere, it seemed to her as if someone pulled them out of her, without her permission.

-And I love you - he said - And believe me when I say this. I will never stop loving you. My love for you will only cease to exist when the sun will rise in the west and set in the east , when the seas go dry and mountains will blow in the wind like leaves.

-One day , you will regret those words Paul Atreides - she professed , feeling her breathing become more shallow and her eyes more clouded.

-Never - he growled , before attacking her full, pink lips.

His kisses were the opposite of him. They were burning , chaotic , dangerous.

But despite this , she desperately grabbed his shoulders , trying to pull him closer and closer. Their hands traveled over each other's bodies , as their lips tasted one another, never having enough. They seemed to have forgotten about everything except themselves.

Suddenly the mortal world no longer existed. There was no fear , sadness , or despair. In their place came lust , desire and love. Feelings that were forbidden to them.

But they didn't stopped.

They didn't stop when their bodies merged into one. They didn't stop when the first rays of sun appeared on the walls of her chambers.

They didn't stop because there was nothing strong enough to separate Paul Atreides from his goddess.

[blackpilljesus]

I saw this from the female separatism subreddit & the responses are some of the biggest reasons for separatism et al (or extinction if I'm being candid here). Moids cant be reformed they are fully aware of the hell they force women to live in. MaIe achievement & happiness is rooted in female exploitation & life. Their glory days are based on our horrific days. No amount of love, kindness or facts will change maIes and we cannot happily or even neutrally coexist with them.

Main points across answers:

Many want to experiment but not permanently be women

They dont want to be in constant danger or lose their autonomy at the hands of maIes for merely existing

They dont want to deal with childbirth (& periods)

They dont want to have to share spaces with species much stronger than them with ulterior motives

It makes me go crazy seeing people give moids benefit of doubt for their evil like "maIes just dont understand", "we need to teach maIes", or claiming that maIe violence is a result of maIes struggling with (expressing) their feelings. I get that women love maIes and it can be hard to imagine that people can intentionally be so evil but it is what it is. MaIes have no problems expressing themselves, abusing women is what maIes choose to do because they enjoy & benefit from it - that is their expression.

MaIes see the same news of women being abused, raped, and killed like we do except rather than be disheartened or alarmed they're either apathetic or satisfied. It isn't aliens that's committing GBV it's maIes & maIes have no problem reminding women of this when women anger them (such as rape threats & threatening women they'll end up on the news/true crime). The victim blaming, denial, and derailment of misogyny is part of the game to keep the system alive, they know the events occured & are a systemic occurence they just dont care. Hell not only do they not care, they rejoice in it or get off on it.

MaIes set up environments that work in their favour which simultaneously ensures that women will lose. They know women are set up to live in damn near impossible conditions for us. It's normalised for women to defenselessly share personal & private spaces with beings much more stronger than them with ulterior motives for us, it's trap. It's interesting how these moids aren't saying that they'll just cover up and *poof* harrassment gone, or they'll just pick a nice guy & they'll be okay. MaIes know the net negative they are towards women.

MaIes know that childbirth is a painful process & what do they do? Demand it happens and make it even MORE painful for women. MaIes that impregnate women do not love or care for them. Pregnancy itself is dangerous & sometimes lethal, often comes with a range of health issues, to cause someone to be in that condition especially in a environment where abortions are illegal is reckless & unloving. Now imagine how sinister & full of hatred one has to be to impregnate someone and abuse them on top of that. Many women risk their health & lives to reproduce with a Y and they get abused by said Y instead of being taken care of. Deranged.

Realising that maIes are aware of the evil they inflict is one of the things that radicalised me. It isn't a miscommunication or ignorance issue, their violence is intended. They want control. The cruelty is the point. Instead of wasting time & energy trying to change maIes or hope that they "understand" one day, focus on yourself & other women (who prioritise women). Moids aren't oblivious to female pain they enjoy it. A lot of women treat maIe evil like it's a mistake on maIes part but it's calculated terrorism. I know that this will go over many womens heads as they refuse to hold strong negative sentiments about moids as a collective so if you're not a woman like that, take this post as a sanity check. You aren't crazy, it isn't all in your head.

[mac-tirs]

the not-insignificant differences between the omen twins

so, i saw this picture posted by @amanaci which inspired me to write this rather lengthy piece on the contrasts between morgott and mohg. i decided that, instead of dumping this whole think-piece on their post, i'd make my own separate post and ramble here.

this difference in their height really tracks for how their fighting styles and personalities are like, i feel. i always found it peculiar how different they are despite being twins; i feel like there's a rather stark resemblance between miquella and malenia in their soft-faced features, pale skin, and long flowing hair, and a close resemblance between the carian siblings with their red hair, but morgott and mohg are rather different from each other, only bearing similarities due to their omen nature. i looked a little bit into that and found that there's pretty good reasons behind why.

firstly, morgott is severely malnourished and unhealthy in comparison to mohg. you can see it in his body and how his skin sags, how his ribs and bones show, and how dry it looks. below is a comparison between his hands and mohg's hands.

morgott's hands are dry, almost rubbed red and raw around the knuckles and fingers. it reminds me a little of psoriasis, or some kind of skin discolouration caused by his poor health. it's likely he isn't eating well, or at the very least, he isn't eating as well as mohg. his twin, on the other hand (ha!), has shiny, veiny skin with a healthy colour and gleam to them. it's like he wants to call to attention how well moisturised he is (which, in this case, compared to morgott, he is).

above is a comparison between the twins' horns. the difference is extremely evident to me; morgott's horns are dry, almost seeming brittle, like sun-dried bone that hasn't seen rain or moisture in years. it reminds me of the horns of a very neglected ram, almost, but despite that, the horn growths seem more controlled, less like the wild growths all over the royal omens of the shunning grounds and more controlled as a sort of jutting crown from mainly one side of his head. meanwhile, mohg's horns are shiny, curling wildly to the point of injury, taking his eye in its path of growth. they grew wildly enough to replace his hair altogether, if he ever had any, and give him an even more imposing silhouette with a literal crown of horns (and a beard to boot). beyond this, his horns look healthy, with clearly defined rings to each growth that shine under the light, much like the rest of him. he's oiled leather to morgott's dry hide.

another somewhat interesting detail of morgott is his tail. i know a lot of people see it as soft, and it certainly looks the part, but what i find interesting are two things: the first being that his fur looks quite matted in some lightings and angles but overall looks soft to the touch, and the second being that his tail's horns look much healthier than his own horns on his head. this is in clear contrast to the rest of his body, which looks dry and unassuming with smatterings of coarse white hair up and down his body, and i believe its a matter of the limits to his own self-care. he utilises his tail as another weapon in his arsenal, so he cares for it that it might serve him well in battle, unlike his head of horns, which only serve as a detriment to him with how they must obscure some of his vision, if not most of it. additionally, he likely could bear to look at his tail and care for it, but for an omen that hates his nature more than the average, he probably doesn't enjoy looking at his own face in the mirror enough to properly care for himself.

which brings me back to the sheer differences between these two. morgott, unhealthy and self-loathing, neglects many visual aspects of himself likely because he sees vanity as a luxury not afforded to someone like him. mohg, healthy and self-obsessed, cares and grooms himself to appear very much so like the lord he claims to be, loving himself to a heretical extreme (in the eyes of the golden order). their statures reflect this too; morgott hunches low to the ground, ready to pounce at any given moment but also due to his own shame and humility, while mohg stands tall and proud, though not as tall as he could possibly be due to his upbringing being one of likely having to hunch low to fit beneath the ceilings of the smaller parts of the shunning grounds.

above is a picture of an omen from stormveil, which bears resemblance to all the omen you see in the game. in terms of clothing, one of the big ways people set the omen twins apart, morgott is completely naked save for the ragged cloak of animal hides he wears, signifying he is not fit to even dress himself in a shirt or trousers as befits a king, much like the omen pictured. he wears even less than that, actually, since he lacks even the slightest adornment save for the rope that clasps his cloak together. on the other hand, mohg is entirely adorned in finery, wearing a beautifully embroidered, fashionable priest's robe with matching vestments, and beneath that (as seen in the first image) some underclothes, a plain black button up and some pants. mohg's entire silhouette changes with the removal of his robe, while morgott's barely makes an impact once you realise he has only taken off the one article of clothing he had.

then, of course, there are their fighting styles. there's this fantastic video on youtube that i recommend watching of the twins fighting every major boss in the game, and you can clearly tell them apart from their fighting styles alone. morgott is fast, his size making him look deceptively slow only for him to dart out and do sick flips and somersaults and pirouettes that rival even the most flexible dancers, and he fights with speed and almost animalistic ferocity, save for when he conjures his weapon incantations. mohg is slow but strong, capable of swinging that large trident around like it weighs nothing while hitting with the force to knock down most enemies in a few hits, and most tarnished in just one, but he fights with a steady gracefulness in his every move, walking slowly and carefully while casting spells that hurt a lot.

even their phase 2 transitions are markedly different, with morgott's being one where he drops to his knees, vomits, and releases his cursed blood(?) all over the battlefield, causing his weapon to become alight with his curse and for him to fight with more in-your-face aggression, and with mohg's being one where he simply ignores your attacks and begins stabbing his spear into the formless mother for power at your expense, gaining a majestic set of wings that put distance between you and him so he can cast more of his spells at safer distances. where morgott is pushed to his limit and forced to confront his nature, mohg has long since embraced it and enjoys the fruits of his bloody labour with the mother of truth's blessing.

speaking of the mother of truth, even their patron orders are at odds with each other. the golden order was built upon the foundation of a very carefully-guarded lie: that marika is the one true god, which she can't be, with the existence of radagon (as per goldmask, perhaps the number 1 fundamentalist we meet in game). the formless mother is known also as the mother of truth, existing in direct opposition of the golden order's lies and craving the honesty of one of the purest expressions of life: blood. these two ideals would war against each other, with one being dedicated to the upholding of a beautiful, corrupt lie and the other being dedicated to the instillation of a dynasty of raw, pure truths. as such, even morgott and mohg's own great runes reflect these contrasts in faith, though, remarkably, these two great runes are ones that fit perfectly over each other, with mohg's slightly elevated (seen below, taken from the fextralife wiki).

so, where does this leave us? i don't know, exactly. i wasn't really writing this with any sort of ultimate conclusion. i just found it really interesting how different they were, and i wanted to talk about all the noticeable, significant differences between them here. thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[gothcsz]

imagine javier peña as a pornstar holy shit-

gif by @underbetelgeuse | Pornstar!Javier x Pornstar!OFC x Fem!Reader | ~4.5k wc | Explicit. Minors DNI. | Read Part 2 Here | Series Masterlist |

Summary: You're a camerawoman that shoots pornos. Javi's the pornstar you can't stand. So why is it that you're so affected by him during this honeymoon scene between him and his co-star?

Tags: smut, voyeurism(?), unprotected p in v sex, fingering, oral (f receiving), oral (m receiving), no use of Y/N, reader doesn't fuck javi in this i'm sorry, yes it's steve murphy as the sound guy, unbeta'd asf we're here for the dirty vibes, other shit i’m probably forgetting.

A/N: well my beloved, this spiraled into something i wasn't expecting but i hope you enjoy, hehe 🖤 shoutout to my lovely mutual @almostempty for summoning the threesome demon that inspired me to finish this.

You’re not a prude. Sex isn’t aversive to you. And you suppose it can’t be considering what it is that you do for work.

A camerawoman for dirty films. Not a director, just the lucky girl that points and shoots. It’s not a bad gig, even though sometimes you do wish it paid a little more. Then you’d be able to drop your bartending job.

Recording people fucking all day then tending the bar all night, you rarely ever have time for yourself or any of the hobbies that you’ve attempted to start but haven’t nurtured simply because there aren’t enough hours in the day. 

During your downtime, you’re either sleeping or tending to your shit apartment that’s conveniently located above Lucky’s–– your night job. The only reason you can afford to live in Los Angeles is because of the cheap rent there and well, beggars can’t be choosers.

You hit the button on the elevator, currently taking you to the sixth floor of the surprisingly nice hotel the production company has booked a room in for tonight’s shoot.

Once you make it to room 606, you’re greeted by Steve, the sound guy. “You’re early.”

“Daddy got us a new toy and I wanted to test it out before we shot.” There’s a playful smile on your lips as you carefully show off the brand new camera bag with the device inside.

Steve whistles lowly, stepping aside to let you into the room. Looks very typical. Nice, grand bed in the center of the space. Desk, television stand, blah blah blah, and a bar cart.

You suavely make your way towards it, eyeing the small bottles that littered the glass top.

“Surprised you even got that thing. He’s as cheap as they come.”

You shrug, uncapping the small Fireball plastic bottle and swiftly downing it, the burn familiar and taste delicious. “I know, but considering how much money we’re making him, maybe he’s starting to realize our worth.”

You both share a knowing look then laugh. As if. That man would find any way to cut a corner. It’s honestly surprising how well his pornos do.

“Who are we shooting today?” You ask casually, beginning to set out the camera and all its attachments neatly on the desk.

“Lexxie Gold and…” He trails off, lanky form walking over to where his equipment is half set up, pulling out a tattered notebook that he flips through until he lands on the intended page. “Javier Peña.”

You can’t help the grimace that crosses over your face. Great. You’ve shot Peña a few times, each with a story that reminds you how much you dislike the guy.

Sure he seems to be a good fuck— but man was he cocky, annoying, and so damn full of himself.

Just because you have the biggest dick in the world, doesn’t mean you have to act like one.

“How fun.” Your sarcasm isn’t lost on the blonde man across from you and he doesn’t press— knowing you don’t get along with the star.

You curiously start messing around with the camera, flitting through its different settings, taking random videos of Steve as he finishes setting up while you chastise him playfully from the other side. 

Your fucking around is disrupted by a heavy knock on the door then the familiar voice of your boss and the director, Robbie, and you let him in with a brief hey.

The scene is simple enough: a honeymoon. How romantic. He wants to focus on close ups, hence why he brought the new camera.

“Gotta show them how pretty and erotic it really is.”

“I don’t really think they’re watching for the riveting cinematography.”

He shoots you a look and you raise your arms defensively before shrugging your shoulders and getting back to making some last minute camera adjustments.

Steve helps you finish setting up, making the hotel room look like a lover’s getaway. Rose petals everywhere, moody lighting, it helps that the sun has fully set to really set the scene.

Not long after do Lexxie and Javier show up, his arm thrown around her shoulders, seemingly having met up on the ride up the elevator. She’s giggling over something he’s whispered in her ear, pushing at his chest playfully.

You suppose that’s why he’s so good at what he does— that goddamn charisma that seems to charm the underwear off of any woman, hell even some men, that cross his path. 

His chemistry with his co-stars is what’s made him so popular in the industry. Aside from his appearance: cut jaw, full and fitting pornstache, golden lean body and nice cock; Javier ate pussy like his life depended on it and fucked women into oblivion— he usually ended up leaving set with one on his arm.

You remember one time his prowess had been so magnetizing, that he ended up taking the makeup artist home. The fucking makeup artist.

But things with you are different, somehow. You can feel it, he can too. Maybe it’s because you’re a no bullshit type of person that just shows up to do your job then you’re out.

In the beginning, he had attempted to flirt with you, but you weren’t really in the market to reciprocate.

A shock to anyone who meets him because what do you mean you didn’t jump at the chance to be charmed by Javier Peña?

You don’t mix business with pleasure, no matter if the pleasure seems to outweigh the business. 

And since then he’s made it his life’s mission, it feels like, to push your buttons until you’re lit up like a fucking soundboard.

The flirting, petty comments, sometimes weaponized incompetence just to get you to move the camera into a more desirable position for him— yeah it really irks you.

With it being a simple, smaller shoot today: it’s only you, the director, Steve and the two stars in the room.

As Lexxie finishes doing some last minute touch ups in the bathroom, Steve and Robbie head out to the balcony for a quick smoke, leaving you in the room with Javier as he checks his appearance in the full-length mirror by your equipment.

The shoot is starting with them already half undressed, so he’s got an unbuttoned white collared shirt on, his toned chest on full display, with a pair of dress pants hanging low on his hips. He’s not wearing underwear, so you get a peek of the prominent V of his pelvis and the enticing trail of dark hair leading below the fabric.

Goddamn him.

“Lookin’ like somethin’ crawled up your ass and died, sweetheart. All good?” He asks, no real concern in his voice but the typical condescending tone he uses when he speaks to you.

You ignore him, wiping off the lens of your camera, lowkey wanting to down another small bottle of liquor. 

“It’s rude not to speak when you’re spoken to.”

“What do you want me to say? I’m not exactly thrilled to have your balls slapping against my new camera.”

He smirks at the bite in your voice, “With the amount of times you’ve seen my sack, I figured you’d be used to that by now.” You roll your eyes and bite your tongue because he’s right and that wasn’t the best retort you could have given him.

You’ll admit, sometimes his attractiveness throws you off and that only pisses you off further.

“New camera, huh?” His eyes meet yours in the reflection, thick brows raising in amusement, “Honored to be the one to christen it. ‘Specially with Lexxie.” He whistles lowly, brown eyes flickering over to the cracked door of the bathroom, “She’s a sexy little thing, isn’t she?”

You ignore him again so you don’t get tongue tied by trying to outwit him, breathing out a sigh of relief when Steve and your boss reenter and the older man begins to throw out orders for everyone to follow.

“I want this to feel real. Aside from the close ups, I need some filthy, dirty talk. Sell it, make those horny bastards bust their load over the believable newlyweds.”

Lexxie is leaning against the doorway to the bathroom, a beautiful white lingerie set on her curvy body, obscured by a silk robe.

You’re both jealous of her for looking so goddamn pretty and jealous of Javier for having the pleasure of getting to fuck her.

“We’re not amateurs, Robbie.” 

Okay, so maybe Javier isn’t all that bad and you do tend to overreact sometimes.

It’s just hard not to, he has a penchant for getting under your skin like no other. Kind of like the annoying boys you used to go to high school with that would relentlessly tease you for being you.

No time to project your insecurities. You’re at work, you remind yourself, listening intently as your boss turns to you and begins to describe how he wants you to shoot the scene.

Intimate. Very. Intimate.

He yells action and the scene begins to play out naturally.

Lexxie stands by the window, her white silk robe loosely tied around her waist, revealing glimpses of her smooth, brown skin. The moonlight accentuates her curves, making her look like a vision of desire against the backdrop of the shimmering city.

Javier watches her from the bed, gaze dark with anticipation. He can’t take his eyes off her, the way the silk clings to her body, hinting at the treasures beneath.

She turns to him, a playful smile dancing on her lips, and slowly walks toward the bed, her hips swaying seductively with each step.

Steve holds the boom mic above them, out of the camera’s view, as you follow Lexxie’s movements with careful precision, zooming in on her long legs then panning up to her thick thighs.

As she reaches the bed, she unties the belt of her robe, letting it fall open. Javier licks his lips, the outline of his cock prominent against the fabric of his pants.

She climbs onto the bed, straddling his hips, her hands gliding over his chest.

“I’ve been waiting all day to get you alone.” Her voice is a sultry whisper as she traces her fingers along Javier’s jawline. “I can’t believe we’re finally here, just you and me.”

There’s a lopsided smile on his lips, large hands sliding around her waist, pulling her closer. “You look incredible, baby. Couldn’t take my eyes off you all night. My pretty wife.”

She leans in, her breath warm against his ear. “Tell me what you want. I want to hear you say it.” Her words are a teasing challenge, her teeth biting down on his earlobe.

He groans softly, hands roaming over her curves. “I want to touch you, taste you. Feel you shiver under my hands, hear you moan my name.” His voice drops to a near-growl. “I want to make you mine, over and over again.”

You’re on the bed with them, knees digging into the comforter as you hold the camera at eye level, the small screen that extends from it giving it that grain that makes it look even more erotic. 

All of this is beginning to feel too intimate but you block that out, even if it’s fucking hard to. This is what your boss wanted, anyways.

You feel your clit pulsing, heat pooling at your core as you watch them and it’s infuriating.

She smiles, a mischievous glint in her eyes as she kisses him deeply, her tongue dancing with his and you make sure to get a good shot of it. “Then take me. Show me why I married you.” She pulls back slightly, her gaze locked with his.

He pulls her closer, his lips capturing hers in another passionate and hungry kiss. They’re absolutely unbothered by your presence.

“I’m going to worship every inch of you.” His tone is thick with promise, bringing his hand up to wrap around her neck. “I want to hear you scream for me, break that little throat then soothe it with my cum.”

Your breath hitches at his words and for the life of you, you don’t understand why you’re being so affected by this.

While faint, he hears your reaction and you don’t miss the subtle smirk that tugs at those pink, pouty lips of his. 

“Yes. I want you. I need you. Fuck me like it’s our last night on earth.” Her words are a plea, filled with raw desire and feigning love.

A little corny, but what the hell, that’s half the appeal of these things anyway.

Their bodies press together, the heat between them palpable that you can feel it from where you are.

Her fingers tangled in Javi’s hair as she deepens the kiss, her body moving rhythmically against his.

The passion they exacerbate is undeniable, an electric charge that ropes you in as you move the camera closer, igniting your every nerve.

His skilled fingers move to pull down the cups of her bra, freeing her breasts and he uses his hold on her neck to tilt her back slightly, leaning down to wrap his lips around her stiff nipple. He suckles on it, drawing out a moan from the star on his lap as his wet tongue darts out to flick rapidly against the pebbled flesh.

He does the same to the other, you following his movements and your own nipples hardening, the friction of them rubbing up against your sports bra with each deep breath you take enough to gradually turn you on even more.

After lavishing her chest with his attention, leaving her tits glistening with a layer of his spit, he goes to kiss her again and they share more of that porny dialogue that usually makes you cringe.

But not today.

Not as you watch how they touch up on each other, the way he slowly releases his hold on her neck and she pushes the shirt off his shoulders then shimmies down his body, pulling his pants down and revealing his cock.

You’ve seen it dozens of times, it shouldn’t phase you (just as how he reminded you of earlier), but fuck— with the way you’re so heated right now by unofficially being part of this twosome, you can’t help how your mouth floods with saliva at the sight.

It’s got just the right amount of hair surrounding it, looking real heavy and swollen with arousal as she wraps her fingers around it.

You move down to get a good POV shot, bending at the waist and accidentally wagging your ass in his face. 

While Lexxie begins to blow him, showcasing her skill to the camera, Javier’s eyes are glued to your ass and how good it looks in the jean shorts you’re wearing.

You can feel it, his stare heavy as lead, as one of his hands comes down to make a makeshift ponytail of the woman’s curly hair while the other just barely grazes the back of your thighs.

If you weren’t so hyper aware of his touch, you would have missed it. Your hips involuntarily moving subtly and you play it off as you shuffling to get more comfortable to record the oral he’s currently receiving. 

Sounds of her gagging and his grunts fill the room. Steve’s brows are furrowed in concentration, picking up every single thing and you pray that he doesn’t hear how ragged your breathing has become.

You didn’t even notice it until the camera in your hand started shaking just a little.

So unprofessional, this shoot is gonna haunt you for weeks.

But Robbie doesn’t seem to mind, and you wonder if you’re the problem with how Steve and him seem to be so locked in while you’re sitting here, all hot and bothered, trying not to think of Javier despite seeing his spit slick cock slipping in and out of her mouth so filthily.

The director orders them to switch and you try not to be too hasty when you move off the bed, allowing the couple to do as they’re told.

You avoid Javier’s eyes, the ones looking for yours, as he settles in between Lexxie’s spread legs.

He comments on how wet she is, tongue darting out to lick his lips as he begins to kiss her over the lacy fabric of her fancy panties.

There’s an obvious wet spot from both her slick and his saliva. You alternate, panning the camera from his ministrations, up her gorgeous body, then to capture the look of pure fucking bliss on her face.

She squeezes her tits, moaning obscenely as he pulls her underwear to the side and begins to suck and lick at her pussy— wet sounds of his lips smacking against her folds and clit has your own cunt dripping and the rough fabric of your jean shorts rubbing against your underwear is just embarrassingly pleasurable. 

It’s like you can feel his tongue on you as it flicks over her flesh, her arousal coating his face and dampening his mustache.

Javier begins to finger her and the director urges you to get a closer shot of it, which you do and it has you so close to their intimacy; you can smell her pussy.

Your thighs clench.

She cums all over his fingers and he pulls back, traversing up her body slowly, his lips marking their path until he’s kissing her messily again before shoving those sinewy digits into her mouth, and she expertly cleans them off, not breaking eye contact with him.

You lick your lips, practically tasting her, and they’re directed to start off in missionary then end in doggy.

“Put her head on your lap, get a shot of her tits down with his torso in view. Lexxie, scream his name like it’s the best cock you’ve ever had inside you.”

“Won’t be hard to do. It is the best I’ve had.”

You roll your eyes at the smug smile that tugs at Javier’s lips at her words, that statement enough to calm you down as you shift into the optimal position, her head on your lap as Javier strokes his dick and rids her of her panties, leaving her with the cups of her bra still below her tits and the garter belt on her waist.

The white stockings brush up against his thighs as he hitches her legs up on his hips.

He begins to fuck her, each thrust sending her further up your body and you grip onto your camera as you zoom in on the way her body moves, her back arching and needy whimpers pushing past her plump, glossy lips.

Your eyes are glued to the small screen, his toned body looking like a sculpture and a thin sheen of sweat making him glow.

Yeah, this tape is going to fucking sell.

“Get over here and get a shot of her pretty pussy when I push her legs up.” Javier instructs you and you can’t help but drop your jaw at the audacity.

There’s an insult on the tip of your tongue, waiting to be lashed out but Robbie agrees and you fight the urge to fling the camera at him.

Javier senses your irritation and fucking smirks, but you pay it no mind (or at least try not to) as you move away from Lexxie, off the bed, and beside him.

He spreads her thighs and pushes her knees up to her chest, her pussy on full view as his cock continues to piston in and out of her.

It really is so hot. Usually, some stars would have to use lube to get the process going but not Javier. Never Javier. 

He eats pussy so messily and knows just how to treat his girls, they’re usually fucking drenched and dripping by the time he’s ready to fuck them. He doesn’t need anything artificial to help him out.

Lexxie is moaning and spitting out pure filth as he continues to fuck her, you’re doing a good job at capturing it all. 

Suddenly, Javi leans over to whisper into your ear.

“Bet you’d look just as pretty like this, nena.”

Your breath hitches in your throat, camera once more shaking slightly in your grasp and your skin warms. What the hell is his deal?

And why does the idea of being spread out like this for him suddenly so fucking enticing?

Your eyes flicker over to Steve, who both watched that little interaction happen and picked it up on his mic, an amused expression on his face.

You shoot him a look that basically translates to Don’t and he shakes his head lightly, holding back a snicker.

They’re directed to switch again, both stars getting closer to their orgasms, and you use this a chance to take a step back and fucking collect yourself. No doubt that your cunt is an absolute mess right now.

Maybe you’ll rub one out before going in tonight. That is if you have the time. Maybe if you’re not so tired after, you’ll pick up one of the men at the bar and use him to fuck Javier Peña out of your mind.

Now bent over, her ass and pussy are on full display. Javier, once more acting like he’s the goddamn director, moves aside so you can get a good shot of it. You do, bristling as he brushes against you whenever he gets back into position behind her, entering her pussy in one swift motion and beginning to fuck the shit out of her.

Jesus. Christ. It must be because of how fucking weird this shoot has been but man, is he giving it to her good.

A few delicious spanks are brought down to her ass, his large palm making the meaty flesh jiggle and he grunts loudly at how it feels against his dick.

There’s more dirty talk, him telling her how good this pussy feels and that it belongs to him now. Her doubling down and telling him that he’s the only cock she’s ever going to take.

You move below his spread legs, getting a good view of his heavy balls slapping against her clit, his precum and her arousal coating the flesh of his sack, the sound of it smacking against her is for sure going to make some poor soul release their spunk all over their keyboards or whatever it is that they’ll watch this on.

Getting more footage of their full bodies, you maneuver yourself all around the bed, knowing that when this sucker is edited together, it’s really going to feel like an intimate telling of a couple’s honeymoon night.

You’ll give it to Javi and Lexxie— they’re good at what they do.

She reaches her peak first, shouting that she’s coming and her body flails and tenses, squeezing his cock and gushing cum out of her hole.

You make the mistake of looking up at Javier, finding that he’s already staring at you and he growls, stilling inside her and filling her up with his load.

It’s like everything else melts and disappears, leaving just you two suspended in this moment. The way his brown eyes twinkle with something you can’t quite decipher has your entire body quivering and your heart beating wildly in your chest.

What the fuck is going on?

“Get the money shot!” Robbie barks at you, seeing that you’ve been lost in a fucking daze and you shake your head, snapping out of it and moving off the rose petal covered sheets, again moving next to Javier as he pulls out.

Lexxie positions herself sexily, and not long after does her pussy flutter and milky cum begins to seep out of it, an obscene squelching sound as it drips lazily onto her engorged clit then the mattress.

It’s so fucking hot, you’ll admit it. That’s the point of these things, isn’t it? To turn others on. You can’t blame yourself for the way its intended effect washes over you.

Except your mind is still hazy from how Javier had looked at you while coming inside of another woman.

The pornstar shakes her hips erotically, giggling as Javier smacks her ass.

“And cut. Great fucking job team. You guys just made me a whole lotta money.”

You quit recording, licking your lips and moving off the bed quickly, closing the camera and making a beeline to the other side of the room, not being shy about the way you snag up another travel sized bottle of Fireball and shoot it.

“Drinking on the job?” Javier tuts, walking over to you with his soft cock hanging between his legs and you do your best to not let your eyes drop down to it. He’s got an unlit cigarette hanging from between his lips. “Very unprofessional.”

Lexxie has disappeared off into the bathroom again to clean up, Steve and Robbie discussing who knows what.

“Yeah well.” You’re flustered and hate how you’re conveying it. He’s reveling in the sight of you. “I got thirsty.”

“Hmm,” he hums, gaze narrowing ever so slightly, “Camera like what it saw?”

You clench your jaw, turning from him to begin packing your stuff up. You don’t have time for this, for him. You need to leave and get ready for the bar.

“You heard Robbie— just made him a whole lotta money, so what do you think?”

“Let me rephrase that. Did you like what you saw? Like watching the way I fucked her but was thinking of you the whole time?”

You freeze, static in your brain like an interrupted television broadcast and your body feeling feverish. You need to get out of here.

“And you say I’m acting unprofessional.” You scoff, trying to act like you’re not affected by him and his stupid words and that dumb mustache and his fucking bare cock.

He snorts out a laugh, prepared to say something else to grate your nerves but you don’t give him a chance, slinging the strap of the camera bag over your shoulder and grabbing your purse, pushing past him.

“Alright, Robbie I’m out. I’ll swing by the office tomorrow and drop this off after I’ve reviewed the footage.”

You can see Javier from your peripheral, tight jeans up on his hips and moving out into the balcony to smoke.

You feel like you can breathe a little easier now.

“Sounds good. I’ll have your check for it then.”

You nod, saying bye to Steve who has a shit eating grin on his face. “You workin’ at Lucky’s tonight?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll be there ‘round eleven for a beer… and to discuss whatever the fuck all that was.” He motions vaguely and you roll your eyes.

“I’d rather not.”

“S’too damn bad. I drink Michelobs, by the way.”

Your face scrunches up, “I shouldn’t let you in based on that alone.”

You can’t help the small smile that tugs at your lips at his reaction, but it’s all in good fun.

This little interaction is almost enough to make you forget about… all that. Almost. The door to the balcony slides open again and you take that as your cue to get the hell outta dodge.

“Alright, whatever, I’ll see you then. Hopefully we’re not too busy.”

You say goodbye to Lexxie over your shoulder, briskly walking down the hall to the elevator, looking forward to the cold shower you’re about to take to cool down your heated skin.

[a-lexia11]

Jealousy,Pink hair,More Jealousy (Meet in Barcelona part 3)

Alexia Putellas x reader

Warning: very angsty and fluffy

Word counts: around 11k

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 4 , Part 5

The following day at work, Alba was relentless in her attempts to pry information out of me about what happened between me and her sister. It all started because I accidentally let it slip that I had spent the night at Alexia's place.

Even though I kept insisting that nothing significant happened, Alba wouldn't let it go.

She kept teasing me with playful remarks and insinuations, making it nearly impossible for me to focus on my tasks.

I tried multiple times to divert the conversation to other topics, but Alba was determined, and her persistence made it a challenging day at work.

At the end of the day, as we were making our way to our cars in the parking lot, I received a text from Alexia asking how my day had been.

Alba, being the nosy person she is, glanced over at my phone to see who had texted me.

As soon as she saw it was her sister, she quickly snatched the phone from my hand. “Alba!” I shouted, feeling a mix of frustration and surprise.

She didn't waste a second; she sprinted towards her car with a mischievous grin, got inside, and immediately locked the doors.

I could see her laughing through the window as she held my phone hostage, leaving me standing there, both annoyed and amused by her antics.

“Alba!” I screamed, hitting the window of her car in frustration. “Alba! Puta, dame mi teléfono.” (Alba! You bitch, give me my phone!)

She just gave me the finger and stuck her tongue out, clearly enjoying her little victory.

From my perspective outside the car, I couldn’t see exactly what she was doing, but it seemed like she was scrolling through my text messages.

Alexia and I had been texting non-stop since I left her house on Sunday.

Our conversations were always filled with endless texts and phone calls, talking about everything and anything under the sun.

Alba finally unlocked her car, and I wasted no time in opening the door, hitting her on the head, and snatching my phone back with a swift motion.

She looked at me with a mocking smile.

“Has estado enviando muchos mensajes de texto” (You’ve been texting a lot) she said sarcastically.

“¡No me envías tantos mensajes a mí!” (You don’t text me that much!) she continued, pretending to be offended.

“Sí, porque eres una tonta” (Yes, because you’re a bitch) I retorted, glaring at her.

She just laughed at me, clearly enjoying the situation.

“Por cierto, ¿espero que no hayas olvidado que el cumpleaños de Bianca es mañana?” (By the way, I hope you didn't forget that Bianca's birthday is tomorrow?) she reminded me completely changing conversation.

“¡Oh, es verdad! Totalmente lo olvidé. No estoy seguro de si podré ir; tenemos mucho trabajo que terminar antes de las vacaciones de verano.” (Oh yes! That's right, I completely forgot. I'm not sure if I can make it; we have a lot of work to finish before summer vacation) I explained,feeling a bit overwhelmed by the thoughts of all the tasks ahead.

“¡Vamos, por favor! Nos vamos a divertir, y Alexia también estará allí.” (Oh, come on, please! We're going to have fun, and Alexia will be there to) she said, wriggling her eyebrows playfully.

I didn’t realize Alexia would be there. Even though I saw her just yesterday morning, I miss her and would love to see her again.

I pretended to mull it over, furrowing my brow and glancing into the distance, so she wouldn’t guess that my real reason for going is to see Alexia.

I tried to sound hesitant, saying, “Bueno, tal vez pueda hacer un esfuerzo“ (Well, maybe I can make an effort) while inside, I was already looking forward to the chance to see Alexia again.

With a joyful cheer, Alba clapped her hands and planted a warm kiss on my cheek. Her eyes sparkled with excitement as she exclaimed, “¡Vamos a divertirnos mucho juntos! ¡Te lo prometo, va a ser increíble!” (We're going to have so much fun together! I promise you, it's going to be amazing!)

“¡Estoy segura de que nos divertiremos mucho, pero tengo que irme ahora; tengo mucho trabajo que hacer y tú también!” (I’m sure we will have tons of fun but I have to go now; I have a lot of work to do and you do too! ) I told her kissing her cheeks goodbye and reminding her of her work.

“Adios nena! Hasta mañana” (Bye, babe, see you tomorrow) she said as she buckled her seatbelt with a slight smile. “Adios,Albita” (Goodbye, Albita) I replied, turning to walk away with a casual wave.

Suddenly, I heard her shout, “No me llames así,Puta” (Don't call me that!Bitch) Her voice was filled with a mix of frustration and playfulness.

Without turning around, I simply raised my hand and gave her the middle finger, a mischievous grin spreading across my face.

——

That evening, after enjoying a delicious dinner and meticulously cleaning up my apartment, I settled comfortably on my couch to correct some of the kids' assignments.

Just as I was getting into the rhythm of my work, my phone buzzed with an incoming FaceTime call from Alexia.

I picked up the phone, and Alexia's familiar face appeared on my screen, her smile instantly lifting my spirits. “Hola guapa,” she greeted warmly, her voice filled with affection. “Hola Ale,” I responded, feeling a sense of comfort.

“¿Qué estás haciendo?” (What are you doing?) she asked, her eyes sparkling with curiosity as she looked at me through the screen. “Estoy corrigiendo algunos trabajos de los niños, ¿y tú?” (I’m correcting some of the kids’ work and you) I replied, eager to hear about her day and share a bit of mine.

She turned the camera around to show me she was watching a football match. The crowd was roaring in the background. She then turned the camera back to her face and smiled mischievously at me.

“You know you can watch something other than football,” I informed her with a smile. “No, gracias” she replied firmly, and I rolled my eyes at her, amused by her stubbornness.

“Alba said that you’re coming to the restaurant for Bianca’s birthday tomorrow” she said with a hint of excitement in her voice. “Yes, I am” I replied, glancing up from the papers I was correcting.

“I was wondering if you’d like to go together. I can pick you up at your apartment around 8, and we can go together” she asked, her tone hopeful. “Yes, I’d love that” I responded, smiling at her.

After that, I asked her how she was feeling about the upcoming Champions League final. I knew that last year's final did not go well, and Alexia was devastated by that loss.

She had been so hopeful, and the defeat really took a toll on her. However, this year seemed different. She was pretty confident, having seen the team’s progress and improvements.

Yet, I could still sense a bit of nervousness in her voice, a lingering anxiety about what might happen.

“I really hope you guys win just because I want to see you with pink hair” I told her, and she laughed.

We spent hours on the phone, discussing everything and anything until it was time to sleep. I nestled into bed, wrapping myself in the duvet, mirroring Alexia's movements.

“Buenas noches, guapa. Hasta mañana” (good night, beautiful.See you tomorrow) she softly uttered, sending virtual kisses through the phone.

“Good night, Alexia” I reciprocated. Her smile lingered in my mind as the call ended, and I peacefully drifted off to sleep shortly after.

——

The next day, after wrapping up another busy day at work, I found myself back at my apartment, preparing for Bianca’s birthday celebration at a cozy restaurant.

Alexia texted me, saying she’d arrive in five minutes, so I took the opportunity to perfect my makeup just a bit more.

When I received the text that Alexia had arrived, I quickly grabbed my bag and headed out of my apartment. As soon as I stepped into the parking lot, I immediately spotted Alexia’s car.

She hadn’t noticed me yet, still deeply engrossed in her phone, so I decided it would be the perfect moment to give her a little scare.

Silently, I made my way around the car, moving as quietly as possible until I reached her window. Then, with a sudden burst of energy, I started knocking on it frantically.

Alexia looked up at me with wide eyes, as if she had just seen a ghost. She jumped in her seat, her phone nearly slipping from her grasp, and clutched her hand over her heart in shock.

Her mouth dropped open in a silent scream, and for a moment, she was completely frozen, staring at me in utter disbelief.

I couldn’t help but burst out laughing at her reaction. Still chuckling, I walked around the car, opened the passenger door, and slid into the seat beside her, my laughter echoing in the confined space of the car.

“Eres tontissima,”(you’re so stupid) she said, still looking at me horrified and slapping my thigh.

“Hi, Ale,” I told her, still laughing a little and leaning over the console to kiss her cheek. I felt her warm skin against my lips and the familiar scent of her perfume filled the air.

She smiled a bit at me, her eyes still shining with a mix of surprise and amusement, and greeted me back. With a fluid motion, she started the car and pulled out of the parking lot, her hands steady on the wheel.

While she was focusing on the road, I couldn’t help but admire her. She looked so beautiful under the soft evening light streaming through the windows.

She was wearing a simple white crop top that accentuated her figure and a pink and orange skirt.

Her hoop earrings sparkled with every ray of sunlight that touched them, adding a touch of elegance to her simple yet incredibly attractive look.

——

When we arrived at the restaurant, Alexia and I exited the car.

I waited as she retrieved her purse from the backseat, then she walked over and put an arm around my shoulder. “Vamos” (Let's go) she said, guiding me to the entrance.

We spotted our friends at the table and went over to greet them one by one. I knew everyone except one person. Alba introduced him to me; his name was Marcus, and he was also American.

Alexia and I took seats across from each other, and I ended up next to Marcus. He was very friendly and chatty, telling me how glad he was to finally talk with another American.

For most of the dinner, I ended up conversing with Marcus. Being at the end of the table and with him next to me, I didn't have much of a choice, especially since he was talking... A LOT.

I didn't mind because he was very sweet and funny.

When I glanced over at Alexia, she seemed unhappy, frowning and staring at her plate.

I gently nudged her leg to get her attention. When she looked up, I smiled at her, trying to lift her spirits, but she just looked away.

What’s wrong with her?

I decided to leave her alone, thinking she might be socially exhausted.

After we finished the cake, Alexia excused herself to go to the bathroom. A few minutes later, I excused myself and followed her.

The bathroom was empty, and Alexia was at the sink, washing her hands. I approached her.

“Alexia, estás bien” (Alexia, are you okay?) I asked, trying to place my hand on her shoulder but she stepped back to grab some paper and dry her hands.

“Estoy bien” (I'm fine) she murmured without looking at me. “Are you mad at me? Did I do something?” I insisted.

“No, te dije que estoy bien” (No, I told you I'm fine) she said, about to leave the bathroom, but I blocked her path and stood in front of her, putting my hand on her chest to stop her.

“Tell me what's going on” I insisted once more. “Oh Dios mío, no pasa nada, puedes volver a hablar con él.” (Oh my God, nothing's wrong, you can go talk to him again) she said, looking at me with anger.

I looked at her confused. “Marcus?” I asked. “Sí, vuelve con él” (Yes, go back to him) she replied.

I looked at her for a few seconds before realizing. “Estás celosa” (You're jealous) I pointed out. “No, no lo estoy” (No, I'm not) she replied scoffing.

“Yes, you're jealous, you have no right to be jealous, Alexia.You told me you didn't want me” I reminded her.

“Nunca dije que no te quería, dije que no quería una relación.” (I never said I didn't want you, I said I didn't want a relationship) she corrected.

“It's the same thing, Alexia” I replied, staring at her. “No, no lo es, I want you” (no it’s not) she murmured, looking into my eyes.

“Look, Alexia, we're not together, so you have no right to be angry and jealous over someone else” I explained.

“Lo se” (I know) she murmured softly and wrapped her arms around my waist, pulling me closer to her.

“I want to be with you, but I can't because-”

I interrupted her before she could finish.

“Yes, I know, because of your job, but it's a shit excuse, Alexia. If you really want to be with someone, you wouldn't let anything come between you and that person” I told her. “And I understand you want to focus on your career, but who said you can't have both, a career and someone to love?” I continued.

She didn't say anything ,she just stared at me and then after a few minutes slowly leaned down towards me, her face getting closer to mine.

I didn't move closer, even though I wanted to, I wanted her to do the first move.

She gently brushed her nose against mine, and I closed my eyes.

But just as she was about to kiss me, an elderly lady entered the bathroom, and we quickly moved away from each other.

Thanks a lot grandma…

“Let's go back with the others” she said, taking my hand before kissing me on the forehead and leading me back to our friends.

Returning to our table, Alba gave me a strange look, and I just shrugged at her.

For the rest of the night, Alexia and I didn't talk, and I did everything I could to avoid making eye contact with her.

——

At the end of the evening, everyone exchanged farewells. While hugging Alba, she sensed something was off and asked me about it. I promised to explain later.

Alexia and I got back into her car, and the drive home was filled with silence. When we pulled into my apartment's parking lot, I unbuckled my seatbelt and mumbled a thank you and good night. Just as I was about to leave, she grabbed my arm.

“Espera”(wait) she said. I turned to face her as she shifted in her seat, letting go of my arm.

“Lo siento” (sorry) she began. “No debería haber actuado como lo hice en el restaurante.” Tenías razón; estaba celosa.(I shouldn't have acted the way I did at the restaurant. You were right; I was jealous) she confessed, taking my hand and fiddling with my fingers without looking at me.

“I'm sorry too” I replied. “I shouldn't have told you how to live your life. You have every right to not want a relationship right now” I added, intertwining our fingers.

“No estoy segura de lo que quiero en este momento, pero una cosa que sí sé es que te quiero a ti” (I'm not sure what I want right now, but one thing that I do know is that I want you) she said softly.

“Te quiero tanto, tengo todos esos sentimientos por ti, pero no lo sé, supongo que solo necesito tiempo para entenderlo.” (I want you so much,I have all those feelings for you but I don’t know, I just need time to figure it out I guess) she continued looking at me straight in the eyes.

“I want you too,Alexia and it's okay, take your time. We can go slow if that's what you need” I suggested.

“I can't ask you to wait for me” she said, placing her other hand on my cheek and gently stroking it.

I leaned into her touch. “You're not asking. I want to” I assured her, kissing her palm.

She smiled gently and leaned in, kissing me on the cheek, close to my lips.

She pulled back, and I smiled, giving her an eskimo kiss, which made her laugh.

We said our goodbyes with kisses on each other's cheeks and a long, warm hug.

——

Later, as I lay in bed, I received a text from her.

La Reina 👸: buenas noches, nena.Dulces sueños. I promise you that I will try and figure out what I want as soon as possible.(goodnight. Sweet dreams)

I smiled at her message, sent her some heart emojis, and wished her sweet dreams too.

——

The week flew by, as usual, I went to work. I shared with Alba what happened with her sister and how we agreed to take things slowly. She was thrilled and kept teasing me about it.

I also informed my friends and parents about it since I tell them literally everything. My mom was ecstatic, constantly asking about Alexia, while my dad mentioned watching some of her matches.

Alexia and I grew closer too. Despite the challenge of not seeing each other much during the week, we managed to spend quality time together. When apart, we would text or video call each other.

Alexia has become incredibly affectionate with me lately. She's always finding ways to touch me, whether it's a gentle hand on my arm or a playful nudge. She kisses my cheeks and forehead with such tenderness, and her hugs are warm and comforting. We spend a lot of time cuddling, and every moment feels special.

Honestly, I’m not complaining at all—I absolutely adore the attention and affection she showers on me.

Moreover, with Alexia, Alba, and some of our friends, we planned an exciting trip to Bali during the summer vacation. It's going to be an incredible getaway just before Alexia flies to Australia for the World Cup. We’ve been looking forward to exploring Bali’s beautiful beaches, vibrant culture, and delicious cuisine. I can’t wait for it – the relaxation, the adventures, and the quality time with friends. Vacation finally!

——

Currently, I was at Alexia's apartment preparing dinner while she was in the shower.

As I was stirring the sauce for the pasta, I felt two arms wrapping around my waist and a muscular front pressing against my back.

“Eso huele muy bien, nena” (That smells so good) Alexia whispered into my ear, kissing it softly.

I leaned back into her and kissed her cheek. “It’s almost ready, can you set the table?” I asked her.

She just nodded, placing another kiss on my cheek before letting go and setting the table.

“So the Champions League final is Saturday,” Alexia started as we were eating. “Yeah, I know,” I said, looking up at her.

“And it’s in the Netherlands,” she continued. “Yeah, I know that too,” I smiled amusingly at her.

“I want you to come to the final” she said, looking a little nervous. “Alba, mami, and my uncle are coming, and I want you to come too,” she continued.

“Really? Are you sure?” I asked her, surprised at her request. “Yes! You can be like my good luck charm,” she said, placing her hand on my thigh and caressing it.

“Good luck charm, huh? I mean, the last time I came to one of your matches, you lost,” I told her jokingly.

She laughed softly and slapped my thigh. “Please, come. I want you there” she practically pleaded.

“Sure, I’ll be there, Ale” I informed her, and she smiled at me and kissed my cheek.

——

On Tuesday night, I found myself bidding farewell to Alexia with a warm embrace as she was departing for the Netherlands on Wednesday, and I won't see her for 4 days, which, although not a long time for some, feels quite lengthy to me.

I departed from Spain on Friday night, after school ended, with Alba.Her mom and uncle had left already left on Thursday.

Upon landing at the airport, we took a taxi to our hotel. With no immediate plans until that evening, we decided to join Alexia's mom and uncle in exploring the city.

Naturally, I kept Alexia informed about our activities, and she updated me on her well-being and the team's activities.

After an afternoon of sightseeing and shopping, we returned to the hotel to freshen up. Sporting Alexia's shirt, we headed to the stadium.

The stadium wasn't very crowded yet, so we found our seats near the field and waited.

Eventually, the girls came out to inspect the field. I noticed Alexia; she was dressed in the Barca tracksuit and had her headphones on.

Eli called out her daughter’s name to catch her attention. Alexia turned around when she heard her mother’s voice and came over.

She gave each of us a hug and a kiss on the cheek. She talked with us for a bit, and it was clear she was getting more nervous as time went on.

“Can I talk to you?” she whispered in my ear.

“Yes, of course” I responded.

We excused ourselves from her family and found a little private space where there weren't many people. Immediately, Alexia pulled me into a tight hug.

“Te extrañé mucho” (I missed you so much) she said, burying her head in my neck.

“I missed you too, Ale. I'm so happy to see you” I mumbled, rubbing her back. “How do you feel?” I continued.

She pulled away slightly and she grabbed my hands and intertwined our fingers. “Un poco nerviosa” (A little nervous) she admitted, her voice trembling slightly.

I moved closer to her. “It's okay, Ale. I'm sure you're going to be amazing” I reassured her.

She smiled gently at me and kissed my forehead. “I'm so happy that you came” she murmured against my skin.

I looked up at her and smiled, then kissed her cheek repeatedly making her giggled. “Some good luck kisses for you” I informed her.

“Muchas gracias, con todos esos besos no hay manera de que pierda.” (Thank you very much, with all those kisses there’s no way I’m losing) she said playfully.

Our moment was interrupted by Irene Paredes calling Alexia over, signaling that it was time for her and the team to get ready for warm-up.

“Te veré después del partido, cariño.” (I'll see you after the match) she said, placing one last lingering kiss on my forehead before accompanying me back to her family.

She said goodbye and hugged them warmly.

Once Alexia left, Alba looked at me teasingly. “Alexia está enamorada de Y/N.” (Alexia is in love with Y/N) she sang repeatedly, her voice dripping with playful mischief.

“A veces me pregunto por qué somos amigas; eres tan molesto.” (Sometimes I wonder why we're friends; you are so annoying) I said, pushing her away gently, though a small smile played on my lips.

Alba's teasing was relentless, but it was part of her charm.

Eli, ever the voice of reason, smiled gently at me and then turned to Alba. “Deja en paz a esa pobre chica, Alba, y metete de tus asuntos.” (Leave that poor girl alone, Alba, and mind your business) she said sternly, her tone leaving no room for argument. Eli's protective nature always made me feel supported.

“Lo siento,mami” (Sorry, mami) Alba said, looking dejected. I couldn't help but smirk a little at her.

“¡Gracias, Eli! Sabes que definitivamente eres mi Putellas favorita.” (Thank you, Eli. You know you're definitely my favorite Putellas) I told her, smiling warmly.

She returned the smile, her eyes twinkling with kindness. Eli had a way of making everyone feel special.

Alba just scoffed at that, rolling her eyes dramatically. I moved closer to her, wrapping my arm around her shoulders and kissing her cheek softly.

“No te preocupes, Alba, siempre serás mi tonta favorita.” (Don't worry, Alba, you will always be my favorite idiot) I teased, trying to lighten the mood.

Alba's playful nature was something I cherished, even if she drove me crazy sometimes.

Alba rolled her eyes again and took out her phone, scrolling through it with a huff.

“Eres imposible” (You're impossible) she muttered, but I could see the hint of a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

Despite our constant banter, the bond between us was unbreakable.

——

When the match time arrived, the stadium was full and everyone was waiting for the teams to come out of the tunnel.

Alexia was starting on the bench and she looked focused and determined; this game was very important to her. I really hoped everything would go well.

Unfortunately, things didn’t go well. Wolfsburg was leading 2-0 by the end of the first half...

As the team headed back to the changing room for half-time, I’ve never felt so nervous for a match before.

The second half began, and finally, a goal! The excitement was palpable, and they had a chance to catch up.

Shortly after, another goal! Alba and I erupted into screams, jumping and hugging each other.

Roughly 20 minutes later, Barca scored yet another goal, sending everyone into a wild celebration.

After their heartbreaking loss last year, Barca now had a real shot at winning the Champions League a second time!

Towards the end of the match, Alexia came onto the field, greeted by roaring cheers. Alba and I screamed so loudly that I almost felt like I might throw up.

The final whistle blew, and cheers filled the air. Eli pulled Alba and me into a hug as we watched the Barca players rush onto the field, celebrating together.

After the celebrations and the trophy lift, the players joyfully made their way over to their families and friends, their faces glowing with triumph and excitement.

I spotted Alexia weaving through the crowd, her smile as radiant as ever. She first embraced her mom, holding her tightly as they shared a moment of pride. Next, she turned to Alba, giving her a warm and affectionate hug, followed by a heartfelt embrace with her uncle. Finally, she reached me.

As Alexia wrapped her arms around me, one hand resting gently behind my head and the other securely on my back, I leaned in and whispered, “Congratulations.”

She responded with a tender kiss on my cheek and softly said, “Gracias cariño” before stepping back, her eyes twinkling with happiness.

We spent a few more minutes chatting, sharing in the joy of the victory, before Alexia and the other players needed to head back to the changing room to freshen up and prepare for the evening's festivities.

Later that night, the entire team, along with some close friends and family members, gathered at a charming restaurant to celebrate their hard-earned victory.

The atmosphere was filled with laughter and cheer as everyone reminisced about the match. That night, I had the pleasure of meeting all of Alexia’s teammates, each one as kind and welcoming as she had described.

——

The following day in Barcelona, I found myself relaxing on my couch, casually swiping through Instagram. Alexia and her team decided to hit the clubs to revel in their triumph.

Although Alexia extended an invitation for me to join them, I politely declined, mindful of my upcoming work commitments on Monday and wanting to avoid any potential hangover or exhaustion.

While scrolling through Instagram, I stumbled upon various pictures and clips of the Barca team enjoying themselves at the club.

Among the pictures and videos, I noticed several featuring Alexia alongside a tall brunette and they seemed very close.

In one particular photo, Alexia had her arm wrapped around the brunette's waist, sharing a whispered moment, while the brunette reciprocated with a hand on Alexia's arm, sporting a broad smile.

A twinge of jealousy pricked at me. Despite knowing we aren't in a defined relationship, seeing Alexia in that intimate moment stirred emotions akin to what she might have felt when observing me with Marcus. It was a painful realization.

I tried not to rush to conclusions, acknowledging that the brunette could simply be a friend. Yet, my mind couldn't help but wander down paths of uncertainty.

My time with Alexia is cherished. She provides a sense of security, exudes humor, kindness, and perfection in my eyes. However, as I ponder our ambiguous dynamic, doubts begin to cloud my thoughts.

I know I said I'd wait, but I didn't realize just how difficult it would be. Seeing her with other girls hurts me more than I expected.

Maybe she doesn't want a relationship and just wants to have some fun? Everything is so confusing right now. I find myself questioning everything and wondering if I've been reading too much into our interactions.

Before I could spiral into overthinking, I decided to lock my phone and try to get some sleep. I knew I needed to clear my mind and give myself a break from all these swirling emotions.

——

The next morning, I woke up to a message from Alexia wishing me good night at 5 in the morning... so she must have partied hard all night long.

I went on with my day, did my morning routine, had breakfast, and went out to run some errands. Throughout the day, I received numerous texts from Alexia, and at one point, she even called me.

I decided not to respond to any of them , though. I felt a mix of emotions—anger, sadness, and confusion. I didn't want to say something I might regret later, so I thought it best to keep my distance for now.

I needed time to process everything and figure out how I truly felt.

I know I have no right to act the way I am right now because, for all I know, that girl could just be a friend or something, and Alexia and I aren't even together, so yeah... But the uncertainty and the hurt were too much for me to handle at the moment.

Later, like most Sunday, Alba came over to my apartment for coffee. She's always been a good listener and gives great advice. That's why I decided to ask her about the girl Alexia has been pictured with. I needed a friend's perspective to help me make sense of everything.

“¿Viste algunas de las fotos de las chicas en el club anoche?” (Hey, did you see some of the photos of the girls at the club last night?) I asked Alba, who was scrolling through her phone.

“Sí, parecían estar pasándola muy bien. ¡Qué noche tan loca debe haber sido!” (Yeah, they looked like they were having fun. What a crazy night that must have been) she commented with a smile.

“¿Sabes quién es la chica alta y morena que estaba con ellas?” (Do you know who the tall brunette with them is?) I inquired.

“¿Cuál morena?” (Which brunette?) she asked, confused.

I took my phone and showed her one of the many photos where this girl appeared. Alba looked closer and her eyes widened and she took my phone out of my hand to take a closer look.

“Que?” (What?) I asked. “¿La conoces?” (Do you know her?) I added curiously.

“Sí, la conozco. No sabía que había vuelto.” (Yeah, I know her. I didn't know she was back) she commented. “¿Por qué estaba ella allí con ellos? ¿Alexia la invitó?” (Why was she there with them? Did Alexia invite her?) she asked, intrigued.

“No lo sé, pero Alexia la conoce?” (I don't know, but Alexia knows her?) I said impatient. Alba seemed hesitant to tell me something, and I frowned, urging her to speak.

“Sí, esa es Marina, su exnovia.” (Yes, that's Marina, her ex-girlfriend) she murmured. My eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Oh," I simply said.

I felt nauseous. That's her ex-girlfriend. Her ex-girlfriend was partying with her and was really close to her. I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried to hold back my tears.

I asked Alba more questions, and the more I learned, the more my heart broke.

So, she was Alexia's ex-girlfriend, and they were together for almost 8 years! They started dating when they were 18 years old.

They broke up because Marina was moving to South America. That's the reason for their breakup, not because they didn't love each other anymore or had relationship problems, but because she was moving away.

And now that she's apparently back, will Alexia go back to her?

Alba gave me a sorrowful look with a gentle smile, and I quickly averted my gaze and changed the topic. If we kept talking about it, I would definitely start crying.

——

Over the next few days, I continued to avoid Alexia and her messages, either not replying or responding very briefly. Until I could no longer ignore her.

One evening, while I was making dinner, I heard a knock at the door. I went to open it, and there was Alexia, holding Nala in her arms.

“Hola” she greeted me with a sad smile. "Uh... hi," I responded, surprised to see her here.

“Can I come in?” she asked. Instead of answering, I just opened the door wider to let her in.

She walked in and set Nala down, and the little dog wandered off to the living room. I headed back to the kitchen. “Do you want something to drink? Or maybe you're hungry? I just finished dinner” I offered.

“No, thank you” she replied. “Podemos hablar?” (Can we talk?) she continued. I sighed, not really in the mood to have a conversation with her right now, but I nodded anyway.

She took a seat on the couch, and I sat next to her, leaving a noticeable gap between us.

“Are you mad at me?” she asked softly but directly. I looked at her. “No, I'm not” I answered. “Entonces, ¿por qué me estás evitando?” (Then why are you avoiding me) she asked more firmly.

“I'm not avoiding you” I lied. I didn't want to bring up the team party and how she probably spent the whole night with her ex-girlfriend.

"Yes, you are. No respondes a mis mensajes o llamadas, ya no vienes a mi apartamento. (You don't reply to my messages or calls, you don't come to my apartment anymore...) she trailed off, then moved closer and took my hand in hers. “Te extraño” (I miss you) she said softly.

I felt really guilty. This wasn't fair to her. I've been ignoring her out of jealousy. Probably nothing happened between her and her ex, and here I am hurting her without telling her why.

I moved closer to her. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ignore you. I'm just really tired, and work is also overwhelming. It's almost summer break, and we need to finish the entire school program before the holidays” I partially lied, I was indeed a little bit stressed about the entire school program thing.

I didn't want to bring up the ex-girlfriend issue. I trust her. I know Alexia; if she wanted to talk to me about it, she would have. So I won't bring up Marina. I'll let Alexia talk about her first if she feels she needs to.

Alexia wrapped her arm around my waist and gently rested her forehead against mine, whispering softly, “It’s okay, cariño. I know it can be stressful, but you can do it and think about the summer vacation! Two months without work or children and also we are going to Bali!”

I smiled gently, kissed the tip of her nose, and nuzzled my nose against hers. “I can’t wait for it” I replied. She pulled me into a warm hug, and I buried my face in her neck as she soothingly rubbed my back.

“Hey! You won the Champions League! So now you have to dye your hair pink” I playfully reminded her, pulling back slightly but staying close. She laughed, “I know cariño, one of Alba’s friends is coming to my apartment Saturday to dye my hair. Do you want to come too?”

“Yes! I want to be one of the first to see your new hair” I cheered.

In this moment, my mind found peace, though I carried the weight of not being fully honest about my actions.

Yet, for now, serenity enveloped us, at least for tonight.

——

After another eventful week at school, it was finally Saturday, and I was on my way to Alexia’s apartment.

Despite Alexia and I having discussed things the other day, I couldn't shake the feeling that something had changed between us.

On my end, I found myself gradually distancing from her once again... The whole situation with Marina really got under my skin, more than I wanted to admit.

It was something I knew I shouldn't let affect me, but it did. Every time I thought about it, a pang of discomfort hit me, making it hard to act normal around Alexia.

And if Alexia noticed this change between us, she definitely didn't talk about it. She continued to act as if everything was normal, which only made things more confusing for me.

I wondered if she was genuinely unaware of the distance I was creating or if she was choosing to ignore it. Either way, it left me feeling even more isolated and unsure about where our friendship?? Relationship?? was headed.

Arriving at Alexia’s apartment, I parked my car and made my way to the building. I took the elevator up to her floor, feeling a mix of anticipation and nervousness.

Once I stood in front of her door, I took a deep breath, knocked, and waited for her to answer. After a few seconds, the door opened, but to my surprise, it wasn’t Alexia standing there.

Instead, it was Marina—the woman who had made me question my "relationship" with Alexia. Seeing her there brought back a flood of emotions and doubts, leaving me momentarily speechless.

“Hola?” (Hello?) she said, sounding confused. “¿Puedo ayudarte en algo?” (Can I help you with something?) she asked, her eyes narrowing at me.

“Um... sí, hola... ¿Está Alexia aquí?” (Um... yes, hi... Is Alexia here?) I asked, my voice faltering slightly. What is she doing here?

“¿Ella sabe quién eres tú?” (Does she know who you are?) she asked, her tone sharp and her eyes scanning me with a hint of hostility.

“Sí. Soy su amigo. Escucha, ¿puedes simplemente llamarla? Ella misma te lo dirá.” (Yes, she does. I’m her friend. Listen, can you just call her? She’ll tell you herself) I said, glaring back at her.

“No puedo, ella está en la ducha.” (I can’t, she’s in the shower) she replied, a smirk playing on her lips.

What’s her problem?

“Tu-” (You—) I started, but then I heard my name being called from down the hall.

Alba. Thank goodness.

She approached us and looked at Marina. They exchanged glances, then suddenly began cheering and hugging each other tightly.

“¡Oh, Dios mío! ¡Te extrañé tanto!” (Oh my god! I missed you so much) Alba exclaimed, squeezing her even tighter.

I stood there awkwardly, my eyes wide. It seemed like they were the best of friends.

“Veo que ya has conocido a Y/N.” (I see you’ve met Y/N already) Alba said once they pulled away, wrapping an arm around me.

“Si ” she said, her previous hostility disappearing. “Pasen, pasen, chicas.” (Come in, come in, girls) she added, opening the door wider to let me and Alba enter the apartment.

I can't shake this terrible feeling about the whole situation. Everything just seems off, and I can't help but worry that something bad is going to happen.

As the three of us settled down at the kitchen table, a sense of being overlooked crept over me. Alba and Marina delved into their conversation, likely catching up on various matters.

I found myself seated beside Alba, with Marina positioned across from her.

The rapid-fire Catalan dialogue left me utterly perplexed, unable to grasp a single word...

A feeling of exclusion and displacement washed over me, contemplating turning to my phone yet refraining to avoid appearing impolite, opting instead to survey the room.

In a sudden moment, my eyes landed on an open suitcase near the couch. Please, let it not be Marina's. Could she possibly be staying here? With only one room available, and considering Alexia's hospitality, it seemed unlikely she'd have Marina sleep on the couch.

Did they share Alexia's bed?

Amidst my mind's tumultuous whirl, Alexia emerged from the shower. Catching sight of us at the kitchen table, a broad smile illuminated her face.

Approaching me, she leaned in to plant a gentle kiss on my forehead, tenderly brushing my cheek, whispering a soft “hola cariño” , then proceeded to greet Alba in the same warm manner.

Alexia then sat next to Marina. “Y/N, supongo que ya la has conocido, pero esta es Marina, mi amiga” (Y/N, I guess you’ve already met her, but this is Marina, my friend) Alexia mentioned, gesturing towards Marina.

Sure, Alexia, just your friend. Why don’t you also mention that she is your ex and that you two dated for almost a decade? It’s like she’s skipping over the most crucial part.

I just smiled softly at Alexia without saying another word. Internally, I was a whirlwind of emotions. Alexia then informed us that Mario, Alba’s friend and hairdresser, would arrive a little later to dye her hair.

With Alexia here now, I thought I would feel less overlooked, but no… they immediately delved back into their old memories, sharing stories in Catalan, and showing each other pictures. I couldn’t understand a thing, which made me feel even more out of place.

I’m so tempted to leave right now. Why am I even here? It feels like I’m invisible, just an observer in their world. This was supposed to be an enjoyable visit, but it’s turning out to be anything but that.

I shouldn't feel this way, but it's hard not to. They clearly haven't seen each other for a long time, and I'm sure they were very close when she and Alexia were still together. Given that they haven't met up in three years, it's natural they want to catch up on everything that's happened.

However, it would be considerate if they could speak Spanish so I can understand and be part of the conversation. It feels a bit isolating not being able to follow along, especially when I want to be included and understand what's being discussed.

I was jolted out of my thoughts by a gentle nudge on my feet. When I looked up, I saw Alexia with a concerned frown on her face.

In an attempt to reassure her, I offered a small, comforting smile but she does not look convinced.

She rose from her seat and walked over to me, taking my hands in hers with a firm but gentle grip, and helped me to my feet.

“Volveremos enseguida; vamos a mi habitación.” (We'll be right back; we're going to my room) Alexia announced to Alba and Marina.

She didn't wait for their response; instead, she led me towards her room, closing the door softly behind us as we entered.

She wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled me closer. “What's wrong? Are you okay? You’re very quiet” she asked, concern all over her face.

“I'm fine” I told her with a small smile, hoping to reassure her.

“Lately you’ve been acting really weird, you’re very distant” she pointed out, her eyes searching mine for answers.So she did noticed my behavior.

“I already told you, Alexia, it’s because of work. I’m stressed” I replied a bit harshly, instantly regretting my tone.

Seeing the hurt and concern on her face made me feel really bad. I shouldn’t have snapped at her; she didn’t deserve that.

I sighed and embraced her. Though it felt so good to be in her arms, there was this indescribable feeling inside me.

Maybe I should tell her how I really feel right now, instead of acting the way I am. It hurts both of us, and I don’t want to push her away.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped at you” I said, burying my face in her neck, trying to convey my remorse through the closeness.

She gently pulled my head away and looked into my eyes. “It’s okay, cariño” she said tenderly, her voice soothing my troubled mind.

We gazed at each other for a few seconds, the world around us fading away. Her eyes flickered down to my lips a couple of times, and I could see the hesitation and desire in her gaze. She then slowly leaned in, her eyes closed, and I closed mine too, anticipating the moment.

She was so close to me, I could feel her breath on my lips, but then the door swung open, and Alexia immediately pulled away, the moment shattered.

WHY?!

“Mario esta aqui” (Mario is here) Marina said, watching us intently, then glaring at me as if I had done something wrong.

“Sí, ya vamos.” (Oh yeah, we’re coming) Alexia said, looking at her, her voice steady but her eyes reflecting the frustration of the interrupted moment.

Marina left, leaving the door open, and Alexia looked back at me with a mixture of regret and determination. “Vamos” she said, walking away, and I followed, feeling the weight of the unspoken words between us.

Making my way back to the living room, I met Mario who seems to be a very nice and kind man.We talked for a little bit about how we are all exited to see Alexia with pink hair.

——

After a while, Alexia was sitting on a chair scrolling through her phone as Mario worked his magic on her hair. I was nestled on the couch with Nala on my lap, gently stroking her fur.

Marina and Alba were engaged in a lively conversation at the kitchen table, their voices a soft murmur in the background.

At one point, Marina excused herself to go to the bathroom, and Alba took the opportunity to come and sit beside me.

Despite her presence, I kept my gaze fixed on Nala, my fingers continuing their soothing motions through her fur.

Alba rested her head on my shoulder and softly asked, “Esta noche vamos a salir con Alexia y Marina. ¿Quieres venir con nosotras?” (Tonight we are going out with Alexia and Marina. Do you want to come with us?) The thought of spending more time with that woman, whom I had known for less than three hours and already disliked intensely, was unbearable. There was no way I was going to have dinner with her.

“No” I replied curtly. My mood was sour, and I had no desire to engage in conversation. Alba had been ignoring me since we arrived, and I felt no inclination to talk to her now.

Alba lifted her head from my shoulders and looked at me, “Por que?” (Why?)she questioned, confusion lacing her voice.

“Simplemente no quiero.” (I just don’t want to) I told her, not looking at her, my voice stern. I could feel the tension building up inside me, a mix of frustration and sadness.

“Te conozco, sé que la presencia de Marina te está molestando.” (I know you, I know that Marina being here is bothering you) she said matter-of-factly, her eyes searching mine for a reaction.

“¡Por supuesto que me molesta! ¿Cómo te sentirías si la ex de tu posible novia todavía estuviera en contacto con ella y parecieran ser las mejores amigas?” (Of course it bothers me! How would you feel if the ex of your potential girlfriend was still in contact with her and they seemed like they were the best of friends?) I told her, whispering so that Alexia wouldn’t hear it. My voice was trembling slightly, betraying the calm facade I was trying to maintain.

“Vale, pero a menos que me haya perdido de algo, tú y Alexia no están juntas, así que, como le dijiste la noche del cumpleaños de Bianca, no tienes derecho a estar celosa.” (Okay, but unless I missed something, you and Alexia are not together, so like you told her the night of Bianca’s birthday, you have no right to be jealous) she told me harshly. Her words cut deep, and I felt a pang of guilt mixed with the sting of truth.

It surprised me because Alba had never talked to me like that before. Her tone was usually gentle and understanding, but now it was firm and unyielding.

I bit my lips, trying to stop the tears from coming out.

Obviously, Alba loved Marina; I could see it in the way they talked and laughed with each other. It was like they had their own little world.

What if Alba is not against the idea of Alexia and Marina getting together? The thought made my chest tighten, and I felt a wave of loneliness wash over me.

I looked at Alba, my eyes filled with a mix of emotions, before turning my gaze back to Nala on my lap. Words seemed unnecessary at that moment.

Marina returned from the bathroom, her presence immediately drawing attention as she made her way over to Alexia, who was seated and getting her hair washed.

The scene before me unfolded like a slow-motion movie, every detail etched into my mind.

The two of them were laughing and chatting, their chemistry undeniable. They looked like a couple, completely at ease with each other.

At one point, Marina wrapped an arm around Alexia’s shoulders, and Alexia responded by encircling Marina’s waist with her own arm. It was a gesture so intimate that it made my heart ache.

Marina caught my eye and smirked knowingly, aware of the effect their closeness had on me. She knew exactly what she was doing, and it stung.

Seeing them together like that was painful. In that moment, I couldn't shake the feeling that Alexia still harbored feelings for Marina. After all, Marina was her first love, and they had shared almost a decade together. It was only natural that some feelings might still linger.

The weight of the situation became too much to bear. I couldn't stay there any longer; witnessing their affection was like a dagger to my heart. I gently picked up Nala, who had been my silent companion through it all, and placed her carefully on the couch.

“Voy a irme ahora.” (I’m going to go now) I announced softly, trying to keep my voice steady as I addressed everyone in the room.

“¿Qué? ¿Por qué?” (What? Why?) Alexia’s voice was filled with surprise and confusion as she looked at me, her brows furrowed in concern.

“No me siento bien. Creo que necesito ir a casa y descansar un poco.” (I don’t feel good. I think I need to go home and rest a little) I lied quickly, making my way to the door, my heart pounding in my chest.

"But you can go to my room and lie on my bed if you'd like," Alexia said in english, her voice soft and pleading. "Just let me finish with my hair, and then I'll take care of you, cariño."

She was trying so hard to make me stay, her eyes filled with desperation and hope. I could feel the warmth and sincerity in her words, making it even harder to leave.

“No,thank you” I said quickly and opened the door and telling everyone goodbye.

“¡Espera! Te acompañaré hasta tu coche.” (Wait! I’ll accompany you to your car) Alba said, rising swiftly to her feet.

I nodded and made my way out of the apartment, not waiting for Alba.

Outside the building, I walked briskly to my car, with Alba trailing behind me, trying to keep up with my pace.

“Y/N, espera” (wait) she called out, her voice tinged with desperation, but I didn't stop. I unlocked my car and slid into the driver's seat.

Alba quickly moved in front of my car, her face flushed with urgency. “Lo siento mucho, Y/N. No debería haberte dicho eso.”(I'm so sorry, Y/N. I shouldn't have told you that) she apologized, her eyes pleading with me.

“Es lo que sea“ (It's whatever) I responded flatly, my gaze fixed on her.

“Por favor, por favor, habla con mi hermana sobre esto. No te alejes de ella. Sé que está confundida ahora, pero te aseguro que tiene muchos sentimientos por ti“ (Please, please talk to my sister about this. Don't pull away from her. I know she's confused right now, but I can assure you that she has so many feelings for you) she implored, her sincerity evident in her voice.

“¿De verdad? Parece que también tiene muchos sentimientos por su ex“ (Does she? She seems like she has a lot of feelings for her ex too) I retorted sarcastically, raising my eyebrows in disbelief.

“Sí, es verdad que está muy cerca de su ex. Pero ya se acabó entre ellos. Solo te quiere a ti, no a ella” (Yes, she's really close with her ex, that's true. But it's over between them. She only wants you, Y/N, not her) Alba insisted, her desperation growing more palpable.

I studied her for a moment, noting the earnestness in her eyes. She seemed absolutely desperate to make me believe her words.

I sighed heavily. “Voy ahora. Es la última semana de clases; tengo cosas que hacer.”(I'm going now. It's the last week of school; I have things to do) I said, avoiding eye contact. “Adios” (Bye) I continued, shutting my door and starting the engine.

As I drove away, I couldn't help but feel the weight of Alba's words lingering in my mind.

——

Upon arriving back at my apartment, I immediately collapsed onto my bed. As I looked at my phone, I noticed several missed calls and text messages from Alexia. With a heavy sigh, I locked my phone and set it aside.

This entire situation feels incredibly overwhelming. From the very beginning, I sensed it would be complicated, but I chose to ignore the warning signs.

I was so consumed by my own desires and selfishly chasing my own happiness that I overlooked the potential consequences. Now, the weight of those choices is bearing down on me, and it's hard to see a way out.

I was desperately seeking happiness. Even though I was fully aware that Alexia wasn't looking for a relationship, the mere thought of having her close to me brought immense comfort and joy.

Her presence, even without the promise of a future together, was enough to make me feel content and hopeful. It was as if just being near her could fill the void I felt inside, and I couldn't resist the allure of that happiness, even if it was fleeting.

However, these past few days have made me realize that this so-called "relationship" with Alexia is causing more pain than happiness. The emotional turmoil and constant uncertainty are taking a toll on me, overshadowing the moments of joy I once cherished.

I know what I need to do; I have to end this “relationship” It's a difficult decision, but I need to prioritize my well-being and find a path that leads to genuine happiness and peace.

The mere thought of it brought tears to my eyes, and before I knew it, I was sobbing uncontrollably.

Each tear felt like a release of the pent-up emotions I'd been holding in for so long. I cried until I was exhausted, my body shaking with each sob.

Eventually, the overwhelming fatigue took over, and I cried myself to sleep, my pillow damp with tears.

——

I woke up startled by a persistent knocking on my door. Groggily, I got up and made my way to the front door.

As I passed by the entrance mirror, I caught a glimpse of myself and realized I looked like a complete mess.

My face was red and puffy, my eyes were swollen from crying, and my hair was a tangled, disheveled disaster. I was the very definition of a hot mess.

Despite not caring much about my appearance at that moment, I opened the door. There stood Alexia, holding a bag in her hand.

Her eyes widened slightly upon seeing me, and I couldn't blame her—I probably looked quite scary.

Alexia, on the other hand, looked stunning. Her pink hair framed her face perfectly, and I couldn't help but think how right I was about it suiting her so well.

“Hi, come in” I told her, opening the door wider to let her into the apartment.

She stepped inside and headed straight for the kitchen counter, where she began to unload her bag. Out came some soup, bottles of water, a few medicines, and a small box.

“¿Todavía te sientes mal? Le pedí a mi mamá la receta de la sopa que solía hacer para Alba y para mí cuando estábamos enfermos.” (Do you still feel sick? I asked my mom for the soup recipe she used to make for Alba and me when we were sick) she explained, moving closer. I instinctively stepped back, trying to avoid any physical contact with her.

“You did this for me?” I asked, feeling a bit touched by her thoughtfulness.

She nodded. “Yeah, well, Marina helped me with it” she admitted, and immediately, I felt a surge of anger.

There was no way I was going to eat that. I’m sure that bitch poisoned it.

“Can we talk?” I asked her gently as she was about to heat up the soup.

“Yes, I'm just warming this up for you” she replied, looking back at me with a soft smile.

“No need, I won't eat it, I’m not sick” I said firmly, making my way to the couch and signaling for her to join me.

She looked puzzled but followed me. She sat down beside me, her movements hesitant.

She reached out to take my hand, but I pulled it away, unable to mask my unease.

Her face fell, and she looked at me with a mix of confusion and hurt.

“Is something wrong? Alba also told me that I should come talk to you” she said, her voice tinged with worry. She leaned in slightly, searching my face for answers.

“Who is Marina?” I asked her directly, my eyes locked onto hers with determination.

She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “You know who she is. You met her this afternoon. She's my friend” she replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“No, who is she really? And please, tell me the truth” I insisted, my voice firm, “I already know who she truly is I just want to hear it from you.”

She sighed deeply. “Ella es mi exnovia.” (She's my ex-girlfriend) she murmured, her voice tinged with shame.

I nodded slowly, absorbing the information. “Why wouldn't you tell me that you and your ex are in contact and, from what I saw, really good friends?” I asked, my tone firm but controlled.

“No pensé que fuera gran cosa“ (I didn't think it was a big deal) she whispered, her fingers nervously playing with the fabric of her lap.

“What do you mean, not a big deal? Maybe not for you, but for me it is!” I exclaimed, my voice rising slightly. “Please explain to me how this happened” I continued, taking a deep breath to calm myself.

“It happened before I left for the Champions League final. She contacted me again, telling me that she was coming back to live in Spain. At first, I didn't really want to see her, but then she insisted and asked we could talk so I said yes.” She paused for a moment, gathering her thoughts, then continued, “We talked things out, caught up on life, my career, and hers. I don't know... it feels like old times...” she trailed off, her voice filled with nostalgia. I closed my eyes, biting my lip in frustration.

“It feels like old times...” she clearly reminded of their past relationship.

“She was with you at the club after winning the Champions League” I pointed out, my voice tinged with suspicion.

“Sí, esa noche ella se sentía un poco deprimida, así que la invité allí para animarla.” (Yes, that night she was feeling a little down, so I invited her there to cheer her up) she explained, biting her lip nervously and avoiding my gaze.

“Does she sleep at your apartment?” I asked, my tone sharp and accusing.

“She only slept one night, and it was yesterday. She got into a fight with her mom and didn’t have a place to stay, so I told her to stay with me” she explained again, her voice steady but her eyes betraying a hint of anxiety.

“Did you slept with her,I mean together on your bed”I asked nervously,scared of the answer.

“No, I slept on the couch and she slept on my bed.” Alexia simply responded firmly.

I nodded slowly, processing her words. “If it wasn't a big deal, why didn't you tell me she was back? Why did I have to find out from pictures and from Alba, who told me you guys dated for 8 years,?” I asked, my frustration evident.

If it wasn't a big deal, why didn't she tell me? There must be something else she’s not saying...

“No sé” (I don't know) was all she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

I scoffed, feeling a mix of anger and disbelief. “You don't know... I repeated, shaking my head.

“Do you still have feelings for her?” I asked, my voice cracking a little bit, betraying the storm of emotions within me.

Upon hearing the tremor in my voice, Alexia looked up at me, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I don’t think so...”she trailed off, and as her words hung in the air, I felt my own tears begin to fall, unstoppable.

“It’s a yes or no answer, Alexia,” I told her firmly, trying to wipe away my tears, but it was futile as more streamed down my face.

Alexia hesitated for a moment, as if weighing her words carefully. “I... I can’t lie to you... When I first saw her again and talked to her, I felt things. But I promise you, with time, all those feelings went away. You made them go away. You were the only one on my mind” she said, her voice gaining strength and urgency.

When she confessed the first part of her sentence, I felt my heart plummet.

All this time, my thoughts and heart had been solely dedicated to her, and to think that at one point her heart and thoughts had been dedicated to someone else was a pain I hadn’t anticipated.

The realization hit me hard, and the hurt was almost too much to bear.

I decided not to mention how I thought her ex was a bitch to me; now isn't the right moment.

However, I was planning to share with her how isolated I felt throughout the entire afternoon.

“I felt awful all afternoon. It seemed like you were all ignoring me, speaking in Catalan, and living in your own world. It felt as if Marina was the only one who mattered, and I was just on the sidelines” I quietly told her, still feeling hurt.

“Lo siento mucho, cariño. Estábamos tan atrapados en recordar el pasado y compartir viejas historias que no nos dimos cuenta de que te estábamos excluyendo” (I'm so sorry, we were all so caught up in reminiscing about the past and sharing old stories that we didn't realize we were excluding you) she tried to explain, her voice filled with regret.

I could see the genuine remorse in her eyes, but at that moment, my feelings of hurt overshadowed any empathy I might have had. It felt like no matter what she said, the sting of being sidelined wouldn't easily fade away.

“I...”I began, trying to swallow the lump in my throat. “I think it's time to end whatever this is between us” I whispered softly, my voice trembling.

“¡¿Qué!? ¡No! Por favor, por favor, no hagas eso. Haré cualquier cosa por ti.” (What!? No! Please, please don't do that! I'll do anything for you) she pleaded, her voice breaking as tears streamed down her face uncontrollably. Her desperation was palpable, and it crushed me even more.

“I'm sorry, Alexia, but this whole situation is a mess... We're just hurting each other...”I paused, wiping my own tears as they fell. “It feels like all we do is hurt each other...” I moved closer to her, taking her hand in mine, feeling the warmth and the tremble of her fingers.

“You're not hurting me; you bring me happiness” she said, her voice shaking as she tried to convince me.

Her eyes were filled with pain and sorrow, and it tore at my heart. “Por favor, no me dejes. Te necesito” (Please, don't leave me. I need you.)

“Alexia…” I trailed off “we are hurting each other… plus look our relationship has not even started yet and you’re already hiding things from me” I told her squeezing her hand.

I hate seeing her like that.

“Lo siento mucho” (I’m so sorry) she said looking at me with so much pain in her eyes.

“Don’t apologized, it’s okay” no, it’s not.

After a few agonizing minutes of silence, the room filled with the sound of our sniffles.

Alexia slowly pulled her hand away and stood up, her movements heavy with sorrow.

“Well…um…Voy a irme ahora” (I’m going to go now) she said painfully, her voice cracking as she wiped away her tears.

I got up too, feeling the weight of the moment pressing down on me. We walked towards the door together, each step feeling like a goodbye. Just as she reached the door, she turned around, her eyes pleading as she opened her arms for a hug.

I hugged her tightly, desperate to hold onto the warmth of her embrace one last time. Her body trembled against mine as she whispered in my ear, “Thank you for bringing me so much happiness these last few weeks,” and then she softly kissed my cheek before pulling away.

“Thank you, for making me happy” I told her, my voice barely above a whisper as I smiled softly at her. She returned the smile, though it was tinged with the same sadness that filled the room.

She then turned around and exited my apartment, leaving me standing there, watching her disappear from my life. I closed the door slowly, the finality of the moment hitting me like a ton of bricks.

I stayed frozen in place, my eyes locked on the door that Alexia had just walked through. The emptiness in the room seemed to echo my own feelings. I had never felt so heartbroken over someone I hadn't even officially dated.

After what felt like an eternity, I managed to gather myself and made my way to the kitchen table. I sank into a chair, staring blankly at the empty space in front of me. That's when I noticed the small box that Alexia had brought earlier, sitting there like a poignant reminder of what had just been lost.

Reaching out for the box with trembling hands, I opened it, revealing a small note that read, “Para mí cariño” adorned with a delicate little heart. Beneath the note lay a necklace with a butterfly pendant, each wing intricately inscribed with our initials.

I was stunned. I had only mentioned to her once that butterflies were my favorite insects, and yet she had remembered and chosen something so personal and meaningful.

The realization hit me like a wave, and I couldn't help but sob uncontrollably. The depth of her thoughtfulness and the memories we shared overwhelmed me.

I had lost her, and the pain was almost unbearable, but deep down, I knew it was for the best... or at least, I hoped it was.

[joelsmochi]

Dirty Lies

SUMMARY: Joel realized how much you matured since he last saw you 4 years ago and can’t resist you. WARNINGS: age gap [reader is 22, joel is 35], smut minors dni, no descriptions of reader aside from having shoulder length hair & having a girly sense of fashion, pervy!joel, shy-ish!joel, needy!joel, reader seduces joel. 18+ WARNINGS: infidelity if you squint (technicalities people), brief objectification, masturbation (f), oral (f receiving), dirty talk, reader was a lying little shit in high school but it paid off WC: 7.3k [please read author's note]

A/N: this was originally going to be a 15k word long smut as part of my LDR series, but........ I figured the more parts I can make out of it the more content I can produce, so here is part one of Us Against The World. Enjoy :) Edit: I’m rereading this and noticing a few typos, I apologize about those! Grammarly isn’t so helpful sometimes…

series masterlist | main masterlist

There you were in your blue tank top and yoga pants laying with your father’s dog in the middle of the front yard. You had just returned from New York a few days earlier from college, which your father amicably told Joel about over a few beers the week before.

Joel was expecting to see your 18-year-old self: long hair, sparkly eyeshadow, dressed in your late mother’s hand-me-downs from the 80s. But that was no longer you.

You dressed more modern and age-appropriate. Your hair was shorter, looked curlier, and you had highlights. Your eyebrows were thinner and your face was free from the loud makeup your teenage self was accustomed to. Joel would make jokes from time to time about how he believed you were just born with glitter all over your eyes.

Joel felt a little silly thinking you wouldn’t have changed. Who doesn’t make a drastic change when they leave high school? He hadn’t found the time to stop by and say hello but he wasn’t necessarily rushing it.

He’d met your father when you guys moved in next door in 1993 and he remembered you introduced yourself the second you saw him and Sarah playing outside despite your father’s protests.

You told Joel about how your dad was only being grumpy because he’d just turned thirty-six. Something about getting old. You didn’t bother to retain that information.

But here you were: all grown up. It reminded Joel of the day he overheard you and your best friend talking about how handsome you thought he was. He wondered if you still felt that way.

You sat up, feeling the sense that someone was watching you; your eyes scanned around until instinct made you look to the same window Joel was standing in.

For some reason, he didn’t feel embarrassed about being caught staring. He offered you an energetic smile and you took in his appearance.

He hadn’t changed much — his hair was a little longer and he had a few more fine lines across his face, but he was still the handsome man you remembered and admired.

You stand up and walk over to the window prompting him to open it.

“Hey, creep,” you teased with a big grin, “how ya been?”

Even your voice sounded different with its blend of Texas and New York. It was sultry with a hint of confidence. He tried not to let his weaknesses show.

“I’m doing all right… Sorry for starin’. Could hardly tell that was you,” he responded.

You just barely saw his eyes glance down to your chest, and it made you smirk.

Had this been any other man you’d have your fist meeting their jaw, but it wasn’t any other man. It was Joel. You hadn’t forgotten that he was attractive, but you did forget just how attractive. Or maybe his sexiness came with his age.

Not like it mattered anyways. It wasn’t like you could make a move.

“I been gettin’ that a lot… Dad tells me you’re a contractor now with Tommy.”

Joel nodded and said, “Yep, hated workin’ for other people, so…”

You were unsure if you were being awkward or if it was just… Awkward.

“Cool. Yeah, no, I get that. How is Tommy, by the way? Is he still really cute?” You giggled.

This made Joel roll his eyes. “Not cuter than me,” he answered begrudgingly. You watched how his eyes faltered again, trailing from your lips to your belly ring. “Your dad let you get that?”

You scoffed and waved your hand lazily as if you were swatting his condescending tone away. “One, Dad can’t tell me what to do with my body. And two, Tommy was always the cuter one.”

“S’that so?” Joel grunted as if he were tempted to laugh.

You gave him a cunning look and nodded. “Yeah. But you were always more handsome.”

Joel found himself blushing at the compliment, trying to wipe the redness away with his calloused palm to no avail.

You let out a quiet teetering laugh and looked back to make sure your dog was okay for a moment. “He get that dog after I left?”

Joel focused on you again and confirmed it once he noticed the dog again. “Yeah. I think your dad likes having something to take care of.”

You looked back into Joel’s eyes and bathed in them for a moment. He seemed more like himself, more certain of who he was. It made you a little sad to know how much time has passed, but maybe it was better this way.

“He was always like that. I think it started after… Well, you know.” You took a deep breath and tried to change the subject. “How’s Sarah? She still my little rockstar?”

“She’s more of a pop star, now,” he said. “She still wears that bracelet you let her have, the… The silver one.”

Your chest swelled with joy and you couldn’t contain your excitement. “Really?! Aw, man, that’s so cool. I remember I would throw a fit if I didn’t have that damn thing on.” The dog barking grabbed your attention once again. He was just barking at the mailman but settled once the worker started petting him. “Sorry!” You shouted before returning your focus to Joel. “Well, Joel it was nice seeing you. We should… Catch up. I could use some… Life advice.”

“I’m free tomorrow night if that works?” He tried to contain his excitement.

You slowly backed away, giving him one more nod and smile. “Perfect. Just come over whenever like old times.”

Joel decided to be respectful enough to not ogle over your ass as you walked away. He turned away from the window wondering how the hell he was going to get over this… Crush?

Is that what this was? A crush?

He decided to not torture himself with his intrusive thoughts.

“Hey, kid,” Joel greeted. You rolled your eyes at the nickname but greeted him back. He entered the backyard slowly trying to get a feel for the mood. He sat next to you in the extra papasan chair and snatched your beer out of your hands. You glared at him, unable to hold it for long when he shot you that infamous smile. “Everything all right?”

He tasted your strawberry chapstick around the rim of the glass and let the taste linger on his tongue. His eyes fell to your lips as he thought about how the chapstick would taste coming straight from you. Raw and unfiltered.

You held your breath, wishing you had enough courage to ask your father these questions. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust your father, you just wanted an opinion from an outside perspective. You were hoping Joel wasn’t as inclined to protect or embarrass you as much as your dad.

“There’s this guy I’ve been dating for a few months now… I…” You sigh frustratedly with the tension surrounding the question meanwhile Joel grew tense and jealous? He asked himself why that was the way he felt about you having a boyfriend.

You apprehensively said, “We had sex a few times before I left and it wasn’t…good.”

“Okay?” Joel asked as a way to tell you to keep going.

“How should I go about telling a guy that?”

He cleared his throat uncertain of how to answer your question. He didn’t want his newly discovered feelings to cloud his judgment as the chances of you two becoming a thing were slim to none. He wouldn’t want to sabotage you or your relationships. Especially when you trusted him enough to ask such a burdening question.

Joel accepted the awkwardness of the topic and put it aside. He didn’t want you to feel embarrassed. “Well, have you tried suggesting things that he can do to make you—it feel good?” He asked.

“Yeah, but I’m starting to wonder if it’s me,” you admitted.

“Does he do the things you ask him to?”

“Kinda?” Your cheeks flushed and your eyebrows furrowed tightly.

He gave you a look that said come on now.

“He like… Does half of it?” You could just die of embarrassment right now.

“Wh—? How does he do half of it?”

You groaned obnoxiously and chugged some more beer. “I don’t know?! He does what I ask for like five minutes and then just does what he’s used to I guess.” He watched you poke your bottom lip out to pout as you stared into the glass bottle. “I really like him, Joel.”

“Does he like you?”

“Well, yeah,” you said as if it were obvious. “Fuck is that supposed to mean?”

He inhaled sharply through his teeth and stole your beer bottle again. “All I will say is that a man that truly likes you would try harder, especially during sex, and especially if you’ve told him how he could make you feel good.”

“So… What do I do?”

“Do you think he likes you?” He asked again. “Think about it for a second. What does he do for you?”

“Well, he…” Your voice trailed off into silence as your mind went blank. Surely this guy did something for you to make you like him, right? But anything that did happen to come to mind was the bare minimum. You didn’t want to give Joel the satisfaction, so you said, “I think it could work.”

“Who’re trying to convince? Me or yourself?” He saw the frustration on your face and propped a finger below your chin to make you look at him. “If a guy really likes you, sweetheart, you wouldn’t have to ask more than once,” was all he said after he took a sip of your beer.

“What do you mean?”

Joel’s sigh almost sounded irritated. “I mean… A guy that truly likes you and deserves you won’t make you suffer through sex. A real man’ll take care a’you.”

“A real man, huh?” You bantered.

“Mm-hmm.”

“Like you?”

“I’d like to think so.”

“Do you like me?”

Why the fuck did I ask him that?! You thought as soon as the words left your mouth.

Joel didn’t couldn’t answer right away. His voice just stumbled over his tongue and out of his mouth.

“I think you’re a sweet girl,” he finally said, “and you’re smart enough to know who’s worthy of your time and attention. Doesn’t sound like it’s him.”

You couldn’t defeat the growing smirk on your face as he fought the urge to look over your body. He wasn’t so good at hiding it.

You turned your body in the chair slightly and dauntingly lifted your leg to touch your bare toes against his calf. You watched his breath get caught in his throat and your mouth fell open in awe at how easy it was to get him riled up.

He looked at the ground, not moving a single inch of his body. He was overwhelmed by your confidence.

The amount of attention Joel’s given you in the last ten minutes already seemed to surpass the attention your “boyfriend” (can you even call him that?) had given you.

Your foot trailed up Joel’s leg before you rested it upon his knee; Joel’s eyes screwed shut as if he were praying to not get caught like this, but your voice brought his gaze back to you.

“You didn’t answer my question, Joel,” you whispered seductively. Your foot left his leg and you got on your knees in the chair, then you leaned forward, hands around the rim of his own seat, and leaned in devilishly close to his face. “Do you like me?”

He swallowed hard, his fingertips turning white as they pressed into the bottle.

His lack of an answer caused an impatience to grow inside you. You leaned in even closer and strengthened your eye contact with him. Your fingers absentmindedly trailed over his knee to the midpoint of his clad thigh.

His spine shivered and his arms grew goosebumps. “Why don’t you have this attitude with your boyfriend?” He asked lowly in a poor attempt to further evade answering you.

You snickered and looked over his beer-covered lips, craving to taste them. “If I’m being honest he’s technically not my boyfriend… You’re tellin’ me things about men and how they should act. It’s making me feel like… He just can’t handle me.”

He smirked at you, fighting the way his body pleaded to touch yours. “If that’s the case then, sweetheart, I don’t think he’s the one for you.”

“Oh?” You got even closer, your nose touched his and you heard him choke on his breath. “Do you think you could handle me?”

He chuckled rashly and straightened his posture, now sensing you tense up. “I could,” he confidently confessed. “But this ain’t right, sweetheart.”

“Please,” you scoff, “you can’t keep your eyes off of me.”

“If you keep actin’ like a spoiled brat you won’t be able to keep my hands off of you.”

“Maybe that’s what I want,” you retorted, a cocky essence in your eyes.

“That so?”

“Maybe you can show me how a real man should be taking care of me.”

Joel had to stop himself from speaking as it would have potentially led to consequences. His flustered cheeks and wide lustful eyes created a hunger you’d never felt before.

However, you wanted Joel to earn it. Push him to the point of begging for just a taste of you. You needed to know if he craved you. Something you longed for from other men that just could not deliver.

You hovered your agape lips over his so dangerously it tickled his nerves. You gave him a soft kiss on the cheek then sat back in your original position.

Joel was both relieved and disappointed with the kiss. Relieved it didn’t end up with his head buried between your thighs, and at the same time disappointed that it didn’t.

For the next few days, you settled into your room as best as you could and got everything how you wanted it to be. Well, almost. You wanted a shelf to go over your closet so that you could display your most prized possessions.

When the idea sparked in your head you remembered that your dad said he was going to be gone for most of the day. You figured you could hold off for one more day. That was until you heard some power tools and heavy grunting from beyond your window.

Joel.

Joel had followed your lead as best as he could and you had to admit that the lack of physical contact was making it harder to resist him.

You felt a bit strange, however. After all, this is Joel. Sweet, caring, next-door neighbor Joel. You and your friends had a crush on him and his brother, Tommy, sure, but this wasn’t that. And you surely weren’t a child anymore. But still, you couldn’t help but think of how strange the dynamic is.

It wasn’t enough to stop you from taking your sweatpants off and changing out of your t-shirt into a stretchy tank top. You poked your head out of your window and shouted Joel’s name a few times until you successfully got his attention.

“Hey!” You said with a proud smile.

“Hey, kid!” He shouted back.

“Can you build a shelf for me? I wanted to get my room done today, but my old man’s gone!”

“Right now?” He tried to seem indifferent.

You just smiled harder and motioned for him to come over. “Please?!”

He huffed and looked at his half-done project, ultimately deciding to help you instead. The sooner he helps you the sooner he could create distance, he figured. Though deep down he knew that wasn’t the real reason.

You patter downstairs to unlock the door for him. He could see from the corners of his eyes that you were half naked, only in white panties and your top.

“Couldn’t a’put pants on?” He asked grumpily as he walked past you, not giving you the satisfaction of staring. You shut and lock the door before guiding him upstairs.

“Yeah, but I figured since you were doing the job for free I could at least give you something to look at,” you flirted. He didn’t even bother trying to stop you.

“What d’ya need done exactly?” He asked, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

“I want those shelves to hang over my closet right… Here. I have a power drill here already, I just couldn’t figure out how to get it.”

He was doing a decent job at keeping his eyes anywhere but on your body, but in his mind he had already taken your clothes off and fucked you against the wall.

“S’alright, I can get it for ya,” he said while giving you an earnest look.

“What?” You asked after a moment of silence.

“Nothing,” he answered with a shrug and a smirk. You lightly smack his arm and plop down on your bed.

You lay on your stomach and flipped through a fashion magazine, occasionally smelling some of the perfume samples. You snuck glances at Joel’s broad back as he made sure everything could be lined up, smiling to yourself at how efficiently he worked.

“How’s your boyfriend?” Joel randomly asked after about ten minutes. You looked at him through your eyelashes as he peaked over his shoulder. 

You stifled your laugh and began looking at the magazine again before answering him. “He actually ended things with me two days ago. But like I said, he technically wasn’t my boyfriend. He never asked.”

“Oh… You doing okay? Seemed like you really liked him.”

“I like someone else more,” was all you said. Joel took a second, then just nodded even though you weren’t looking at him anymore.

“This someone have a name?” He asked after a few more moments of silence.

Joel’s internal conflict was teetering between giving in and giving up. He wasn’t sure why he was so drawn to you, but that’s what fueled his filthy thoughts even more.

“Yep, he sure does.”

Your tone was the exact opposite of what you were feeling. You felt hot and desperate, but you (almost) fooled him by sounding bored. He didn’t want to give into your childish game of beating around the bush, so he kept his mouth shut and began hammering a nail into the wall.

Suddenly you had an idea. An awfully sinister one.

You tossed the magazine on your nightstand and sat up in the bed, leaning into a few pillows and angling yourself so that Joel could get the perfect view if he dared to look.

Your hands traced uneven lines and patterns over your clad breasts and you gasped softly at your nipples perking up quickly. He couldn’t hear you over his hammering.

You rid yourself of your wet panties, kicking them to the edge of the bed. You spread your legs and began working big and slow circles over your sensitive clit. You used your free hand to pinch your nipple over your shirt, the combination of stimuli making you give a more audible moan.

Joel didn’t think much of it at first — he figured you were moving around on the bed to get more comfortable. So when the next moan came and he stopped his work to look at you he was taken aback, to say the least.

He said your name, but you shook your head in protest. “Is this okay?” You asked, innocence spreading across your face.

He couldn’t speak, he couldn’t move, he couldn’t breathe.

“Joel?” You snapped him out of his daze. “S’this okay?”

He nodded and watched your trembling hands dip down into your glistening slit, collecting your wetness and coating it over your clit. Your body was stiff with anticipation, watching him watch you.

He took in all of your beauty like the way your eyes fluttered halfway shut and how you bit your plump lip to quiet your mewls. One hand cupped your breast so gently and the other rubbing steady, taunting circles over your sensitive bud. He watched the way you pleased yourself and let this picture of you engrave itself into his memory.

One day, Joel thought, I’d be able to make her feel as good as she makes herself feel.

He ignored the hardening of his cock pressing against his jeans, not caring enough to touch himself if it meant he didn’t get to feel you. He found the situation quite sexy and the lack of physical contact made him feel good.

You were showing him that he didn’t need to touch you or talk to you. He didn’t need to do a damn thing. All he needed to do was stand there and let you look at him.

Your moans were quiet and soft, barely heard by him. You squeezed your nipple harshly and jolted at the shock of electricity it sent throughout your body, your eyes screwing shut and your legs curling up into an almost fetal position at the feeling.

He saw you swallow the lump in your throat as you looked into his eyes again, soon scanning over his body and imagining how he would feel on top of you. The imagination was more than enough to get you going.

You imagined he felt strong and heavy above you, trapping you with his burly arms and using his lean thighs to keep your legs open for him as he rolled his hips to meet yours.

You absentmindedly curled your middle and ring finger into your creamy pussy, chasing after the feeling of being stretched out by Joel. Your pussy effortlessly squelched as your discharge poured out of you like a waterfall, coating your plump ass cheeks in your juices.

You got a bit louder but remained mindful of the open windows just a few feet away. You watched the movement in his jeans from his cock that twitched, longing for just some fucking relief. But he didn’t move, he didn’t even adjust his pants. He wanted you to know that you were the one in charge and that he was willing to suffer just for you.

“Joel,” you breathed out in between helpless murmurs.

He almost caved at how sweetly you said his name like you were asking for help. You reached even further into your sex, pressing into your sweet spot carefully. You pretended it was him.

Allowing your eyes to shut and your mouth to open, your mind dove deeper into the fantasies of Joel. You imagined him fucking you slowly, steady enough to not make your bed squeak too loud. Your fingers followed your mind, bumping against your g-spot the same way you wanted him to: carefully, yet forceful.

Joel felt awkward just standing there watching you, but you looked so beautiful. Sprawled out just for him with your fingers dipping into your sopping cunt as if you were made just for him. He saw your shoulders twitch and a hiss escaped your lips.

A ripple of ecstasy shocked your nerves, your walls tighten around your fingers, and your clit tensed up with a tickling sensation.

Your face twisted from the overwhelming feeling that began to encapsulate you from your core to your mind. Your moans became shallow and louder. Your clit throbbing beneath your palm motivated your to work your fingers faster. You fucked yourself with more desire than you had before, still twisting your perky nipple between your other fingers.

You were a lot more gentle with yourself than Joel would have expected. You took your time, didn’t overwhelm yourself.

He knew he loved it when the ever-growing pressure inside of you burst into a million flames throughout your trembling body. He saw that the slower you were with yourself the more intense the orgasm was.

He accidentally groaned at the sight of you: clinging to your bedsheet with the very hand that toyed with your breast, eyes refusing to open from the immense pleasure soaring through your veins, curling up into a ball because your body couldn’t comprehend just how good you were feeling.

He noticed how your cum gushed around and below your fingers creating a wet spot on your blanket. He carefully watched as you opened your eyes, still slowly fingering yourself. You continued to feel your orgasm, exploring how much of it you could endure.

You moved your free hand to your clit and rubbed tiny and fast circles around it. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and you refused to moan anything but his name.

You shoved your fingers deep inside of you to press against your g-spot relentlessly. Your toes curled at the mix of pleasure.

You knew your orgasm was coming back more powerful than before already, and you braced yourself when your walls flexed against your fingers basically forcing them out; you chewed hard on your lip and laid your stiff fingers flat against your clit to rub from side to side at the arrival of your squirt. You squealed behind your swollen lip and let your squirt splash everywhere.

Joel palmed his rock-hard cock for some relief as he watched in awe at how you came for him. You looked so fucking delicious soaking yourself in your juices. His heart punched against his chest and his mind nearly blank, only filled with you.

Your lips formed an ‘o’ shape as you eased up on your clit. You let out sweet hums of bliss and you opened your eyes again, carefully analyzing his body language.

He practically reeked of inferiority. He was your marionette, your toy, whatever you wanted him to be. He didn’t recognize you in the best way possible. You were an unwrapped present that he couldn’t wait to open and play with. Your confidence grew at his puppy eyes that were low and dark, filled with a need to serve you.

Your fingers collected some of the creamy nectar between your folds before you brought it to your mouth and darted your wet tongue out to taste it.

You never broke eye contact once, observing how his body shuddered at the filthy action. His breath was heavy, his chest heaved in anticipation. You stuck your fingers inside of your mouth moaning at the salty goodness coating every single taste bud.

It wasn’t until your fingers dropped back down to your side and you gave him a shit-eating grin that he finally looked away, sighing loudly.

He felt ashamed of himself.

He’d known you since you were a child.

How could he ever look you in the eye again?

How could he ever look your father in the eye again?

You slipped your panties on again while he wasn’t looking and just grabbed your magazine, flipping through the pages again like nothing ever happened though the wet spot on your bed clearly said otherwise.

When Joel saw you had returned to your previous activities he did the same. Drilling and hammering your shelves onto the wall like nothing fucking happened.

“Here you go sir, you have a lovely day,” you chirped at the customer as you handed him his food waiting until he left. You turned around to straighten up the counter behind you when the bell on the door jingled. “Hello, give me just one moment and I’ll be with you!”

You gave the counter a lazy wipe with the wet washcloth before tossing it into the sink nearby and turning around, being met with a smirking Joel.

“My, my, you working at a burger joint? Never thought I’d see the day,” he teased.

You made a face and told him to shut up. You tried not to notice the sheer layer of sweat that coated his partially exposed chest. “What can I get you, sir?”

His face contorted with arrogance and he placed a hand over his chest. “Sir? You callin’ me sir now? Oh, you are just too cute.”

With a roll of your eyes, you huffed out a stream of air, waiting for him to stop fucking with you.

“Okay, okay,” he laughed, dropping the act. “Can I get a burger and some fries?”

“You don’t want a drink?” You asked before writing his order down quickly and sliding it through the kitchen window.

“Are you tryin’a make me tip you more?”

You shrugged. “Nah, it’s just that the cola here is really good.”

“Mmm,” he hummed as if he didn’t believe you.

“If you want a cola I’ll make it extra cold for you,” you whispered as if you were telling him a dirty secret.

“Mhm, okay. Fine, I’ll take your word for it. Gon’ and get it f’me then.”

“You can ask that a little nicer,” you scoffed. You walked off, breathing in a gust of smoke on your way to the soda machine. “F’here or to-go?!” You shouted.

“Mm, I was gonna get it to go, but I think I’ll stay and keep you company.”

You could just hear the smile in his voice.

“Awe, how thoughtful of you,” you bantered before rinsing out a clean cup and filling it with ice. The cook called out the order was ready and you thanked him before finishing up with Joel’s drink. You grabbed the tray and walked over to the end of the counter where the stools sat, setting the food in front of Joel with a weak smile.

He watched you closely as you leaned onto your elbows waiting for him to try his food.

“What r’ya doing workin’ in a restaurant? Didn’t you graduate for like… Fashion or some shit?” Joel asked, unable to keep his smile down at how pretty you looked in your uniform: a teal skirt and a mustard yellow shirt, but so, so tacky. You hated the fucking outfit, it was everything you would never wear, but Joel thought you made it look good.

“I did,” you confirmed, “but I wanted a humbling job before I truly entered the world of fashion.”

Joel’s thick and somewhat dirty fingers unraveled his greasy burger after he dumped the fries out chaotically. He took an unnecessarily big bite, not seeing how your eyes watched the trail of juice trickle down the corner of his mouth to his chin before he swept it set with his thumb.

“Humbling, hmm?” He questioned before swallowing his barely chewed bite. “You’re a wise girl, you know?”

“So I’ve been told,” you smugly replied. You stole a fry off of his tray and smiled at his frowning face while eating it before washing it down with his fizzling soda. “Best drink that ‘fore it goes flat.”

You walked away momentarily to help a customer that just walked in; she only wanted a dollar milkshake so you told her not to worry about paying. You took a dollar and some change from your tip pocket and put it in the register before grabbing a styrofoam cup and packing her cup.

Joel noticed halfway through you making the shake that whenever you tapped the bottom of the cup against the counter your breast jiggled against your arm. He felt the lady nearby staring at him so he turned his head just enough to see the mix of disgust and concern on her face.

If only she knew how filthy you were for him just last week…

He didn’t care enough to stop though, he just went back to looking at how your clothes hugged your body.

You finished up her shake and popped a lid on it before grabbing a straw and walking back to give it to her.

Joel heard the lady ask if you were okay, and he promptly rolled his eyes toward the ceiling and tried his best to not laugh. You were confused by her question, simply nodding your head and saying, “Yeah?”

She looked at Joel once more, choosing not to say another word before leaving.

“Fuck was that about?” You asked, watching her walk away.

“She saw me starin’ at your tits,” he said between obnoxious bites. “If only she saw—“

Your eyes widened. “Do not finish that sentence.”

“Whatever you say, doll,” he teased before taking another bite.

You pretended to be grossed out by seeing the chewed-up food in his mouth as he spoke, swatting his hand gently. “You’re so gross.”

“You love me,” he quipped with a simper. He took a sip of his drink, humming at how refreshing it felt. “This is good,” he told you.

“Told ya.”

“What time are you out?”

You looked at the door when your manager came in, apologizing for taking longer than she expected.

“You’re fine, it’s a slow day,” you told her as she walked to her office. You looked at Joel and slammed your book and pen on the counter near the register. “I’m out now. Why?”

“Your dad asked me to pick you up.”

You felt a rush of worry. “Why? Is he okay?”

“Yeah, honey, everything’s fine. He forgot about pickin’ you up today and got drunk with his buddies and called me—well, he called Tommy. Said he wouldn’t be back home ‘til tomorrow.”

You raised an eyebrow at the mention of his brother’s name. “Oh? Well, why isn’t Tommy here?” You strutted around the counter and stood next to Joel as he inhaled the last of his food.

“Think you know why,” he grunted.

Anxiety pang inside of your chest, but you convinced yourself it was excitement. You were hoping that he wanted to get you alone somewhere and fuck you into the next week.

But you didn’t want to seem desperate. You kept a straight face, waiting for your boss to come back out before getting your things and punching out.

You followed Joel to his Chevy and thanked him when he opened the door for you. He huffed when by the time he got inside the car himself you were already flipping through his book of CDs.

“I got a good one in already—“

“Is it The Writing’s On the Wall by Destiny’s Child?” You interrupted after you found said CD.

“No, b—“

“Then it’s not what I want to listen to.”

Joel endured your (arguably bad) singing for the ten-minute ride back to your house. He thought about a few things in that ten minutes:

-Sarah wasn’t home, so he didn’t need to worry about food (or getting caught), so this time was optimal to make a move on you.

-If he were to make a move on you, then you two wouldn’t get caught.

-If he were to make a move on you, how exactly would he do it?

Once he arrived in his driveway, you both stepped out of the car and he walked over to your side.

“You not working tonight?” You asked.

“No, we finished early.”

You looked at him with lush eyes and bit the inside of your mouth, a flirty smile coaxing your lips. He looked hopeful for something, anything.

“I was just gonna watch TV all night,” you started, “and maybe make some dinner. I know you just ate, but you and Sarah are welcome to come over.”

“Sarah’s at a friend’s tonight, doing some studying,” he answered. His voice trailed off as if he weren’t finished speaking his thought aloud, but you picked up where he reluctantly left off.

“Do you want to come over, then? Just you?”

He looked around the quiet neighborhood as if he had to think about what he wanted. “Uh, yeah, sure.”

You lead him to your house, kicking your shoes off at the door and he followed. He felt unsure of his decision. He wondered if this night would play out platonically and just be filled with conversation and dinner, or if this was truly the beginning of a secret he’d have to keep forever.

“Spaghetti okay?” You asked him once you both entered the kitchen, decorated with oranges and reds, and yellows, reminiscent of your late mother. You tossed your half apron on the island before making your way to the refrigerator.

You heard his feet patter on the linoleum quickly but before you could turn around on your own Joel did it, pinning your back against the refrigerator and knocking down some of the bottles inside of it.

You gasped when his fingers peacock over the outsides of your thighs, gripping at the hem as a means to pace himself.

His eyes were bright yet lustful as his proximity alone sucked the air out of your lungs. Your chests heaving against each other’s created the only other physical contact you had with him.

He then dropped to his knees before you got the chance to speak; his calloused hands rose beneath your skirt, hiking it up enough for him to pull your wet panties down to your ankles. You stepped out of them for him and he lifted one of your legs over his shoulder before meeting his mouth to your clit tongue first.

You moaned at how he just dove into it, not bothering with kissing or easing you into it. Your digits laced through his messy curls while his tongue coated itself in your juices.

His tongue did crazy laps around your clit and he smacked a couple of firm kisses in between his licks. You tried to watch his work but your stupid fucking skirt was in the way. You settled, however when his eyes opened, the only visible part of him from your view.

You tasted so good to him, he tasted your day of work mixed in with your salty precum and he couldn’t get enough of it. He moaned when you tugged at his hair, burying his face as deep as he could and closing his eyes.

You let out a stream of obscenities while using your calf to push into his back, afraid that if you didn’t hold on tight enough he’d vanish.

He wrote out his full name over your clit like he was casting a spell that anything you or someone else touched you there you would only think about him.

You were amazed at how good he was eating you out — you didn’t think he’d be bad. You just didn’t know it could feel this good. It was like you felt him touching and kissing and licking all over your body, swimming in an endless pool of dissolution.

His touch was decadent through remembering how careful you were with yourself. He wanted to cater to you and to make you feel as good as you made yourself. And on top of that, he just really wanted to eat your pussy.

Savor it.

Taste it.

Drink you until you fucking ran dry and begged him to stop.

Nothing could have torn his lips away from your pussy. Hell, someone could have walked in and he’d still keep going.

“Joel,” you gasped, throwing your head back and grinding on his face.

He loudly moaned, tightening his grip around your thighs and wagging his head furiously from side to side to provide more stimulation.

Your hips bucked into his face roughly and you screeched, pulling even tighter on his hair.

“Joel, oh—fu-fuck!”

He smirked and pulled at the skirt to unveil his eyes again. His dick angered in his jeans, but he ignored it. He’d much rather focus on the way you writhed from his touch. Your panting growing heavier fueled his already intense movements. He began to suck while still shaking his head earning another screech from you.

You never felt out of control with how loud you were before. Every motion sent a million shockwaves throughout your body. You always did a good job at keeping quiet enough so that the neighbors wouldn’t hear, but fucking hell was Joel the one to break that evergreen streak.

You felt his hot breath collide with the fluids coating your sex and his nails leave indents on your flesh.

His tongue darted out to collect a stream of your cum, but his nose butted against your clit as he continued shaking his head making your hips buck once more. Then he realized… He got to stimulate your sensitive bud and lick between your folds.

He loved it.

Your moans became more distressed and uneven; he felt you chasing that high. He wanted you to cum so fucking badly. To let all of your pent-up cum pour over him.

You held the back of his head gently and he angled it just right enough for you to ride his face.

“Use my fucking face,” he moaned loud enough between your legs for you to hear. “Use my fucking face to cum.”

Your body gave in finally at his hoarse voice; your hops sped up, still using his nose and lips to overstimulate yourself. The orgasm was forceful, your moans strident.

Joel felt a pool of your cum leak out and drip down his chin onto his neck. He watched you crumble and curl into him and he was attentive enough to hold you steady while your balance dissipated.

Your head was dizzy and your vision blurred. You slowly halted your movements and just stood there being held by him while he placed light, but loving kisses along your dripping cunt.

He finally pulled his face out from underneath your skirt and carefully put your leg down before standing. He tucked some loose hairs back or behind your ears, then caressed your cheek and gave you a peck.

You wiped some of your cum off of his wet chin with your thumb and held it up to his mouth which he gladly sucked on. He grinned at you afterward and fixed your skirt for you.

The silence was soothing because frankly, neither of you knew what to say. It left you speechless, but that could just be the aftereffect of your climax.

The night was beginning to close in sooner than either of you wanted it to. You two just talked, truly catching up on the past four years. He was a lot funnier than you remembered, your cheeks were aching from how much he was making you laugh.

"You are a real gentleman, Joel Miller. What can I say? Dinner and an orgasm?!"

He lifted you up from your spot on the couch and pulled you into his lap so that you were straddling him. "I don't have to be," he murmured against your lips. His fingers flexed into your feverish skin, holding you upright and close by. He chased you with his lips until you finally let him kiss you. "Be honest with me... Did you really think I was handsome in high school?"

Your face grew warm and you hid behind your hands in embarrassment. "Oh, my God."

"Why are you actin' all shy now?"

"Because you weren’t supposed to know about that."

"Know about what exactly?"

You crossed your arms, deciding to let him win this time. "You want details?"

He smirked and leaned back to get more comfortable.

"Well... I used to lie and tell my friends that we fucked," you admitted.

"Really?" Despite his surprise the smirk never left his face. If anything it grew wider.

You sheepishly nodded. "I used to tell them how good you were. Everything you would do to me."

"What would I do to you?" His cock was already throbbing against his jeans, and just like every other time, he ignored it.

"You would fuck me up against the wall," you explained. "Sometimes, you would bend me over the edge of the bed and spank me for being naughty. Or just 'cause you felt like it. I'd even tell them about how you played with my ass so gently because you didn't want to hurt me."

Every word went straight to his dick, making it jerk and prod your thigh.

"Maybe I do need to bend you over and spank you for all that lyin' you were doin'. Your friends probably think I'm some creep now," he said; his tone wasn’t scolding or cold. He sounded thirsty for more of you. Like his throat had already run dry despite how much of you he drank earlier.

"I'd tell them the truth, but if I were to do that now then I'd be lying again," you whispered against his lips.

"We certainly cannot have you spreadin' no more dirty lies, now. Can we?"

-

Read Part 2 here.

[rueclfer]

saturdays are for the blondes // fratboy smau part three

a/n: bakugou probs gives the bare fucking minimum as a frat boy like barely participates in the campaigns and rushes/recruitments and the only reason why he hasn't gotten booted yet is bc he's frat president kirishima's scary dog best friend and helps him make decisions lmao *written under cut*

denki kaminari, katsuki bakugou, hawks

"Embarrassing how much effort I put in for a man who doesn't even want me." You dramatically sigh as you gently tilt Katsuki's head back by his chin, and holding the opening of a chilled bottle of water up to his lips.

Walking out to see him alone under the dim buzzing light barely hanging onto to the roof and hunched over a bush with his palm pressed against the side of the frat house to hold himself up was a sad sight for you to see, but you couldn't help but enjoy the rare humiliation.

He scowls and swats your hand away, wiping his mouth against the back of his hand.

"The fuck are you talking about?" He coughs into the collar of his shirt.

"What? Am I wrong?" You press your lips together, suppressing a growing smile, and setting the empty bottle on the window ledge beside you

He rubs his temple in annoyance, clearly not near sober enough to have a conversation about his feelings. "Irritating as fuck is what you are."

With the noise of the party and thumping music leaking from inside of the house, you two were left alone by yourselves in the side yard with the occasional person or two stepping out for a smoke or to vomit.

"I'm just teasing, Kats." You chuckle, reaching up to rake your fingers through the sweaty strands of hair glued to his forehead. "It's not that serious."

"I told you not to come out here, didn't I?" He mumbles, closing his eyes and leaning his back against the wall.

"Well, Denki's occupied with the other brothers and I'm not going to leave you out here yacking in the bushes."

He remains silent for a moment, lazily intertwining his fingers with yours and swinging your hands from side to side.

"Dumbass." He murmurs under his breath. "Too nice for your own good."

"Trust me, I know." You roll your eyes. "Let's get you to your room? You look like you might drop any second." You attempt to wiggle your hand out of his iron grasp.

"It's too god damn loud in there." He groans "Stay here with me."

His flushed cheeks and swollen lips made his usual scowl falter into a perpetual pout, making your nerves twitch and it impossible to say no to him.

"You're not scared of anyone seeing us like this? Being so close? Me taking care of you?" You peer around for any sign of watching eyes.

"Like it matters. Everyone knows you're mine- or they should at least." He tightens his grip on your hand.

"Yeah? Prove it, then" You challenge, sparking a quirk of interest in his eyes.

A lazy smirk grows on his lips as he looks down at you through his lashes, scanning every corner of your face before he pulls you in against his chest and leans down to press a kiss to your lips.

"You wanna give everyone inside a show or some shit?" He mutters against your lips, peppering kisses in between every few words. "Give me 10 minutes with you out here and I can sober up real fuckin quick."

"That, or also," You wrap an arm around his torso, and the other slapping a hand over his mouth, pushing his face away. "you can ask me out on a date, dipshit."

He narrowed his eyes, furrowing his brows in the process.

"Nu uh. No fucking way. You don't want to go out with me."

"Yuh huh." You mock his drunken childish tone, keeping your hand clasped over his mouth. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Because I think I love you." He muffles behind your hand. "So that'll be a fucking wreck for both of us."

"Wha-"

He pulls your hand away from his mouth and cuts you off with his lips with more desperation and force as he pulls you closer to him by the back of your neck and grip around your waist.

An efficient way to shut you up.

"Don't remind me about that tomorrow, alright?" He mutters against your lips, knowing well that if there's one thing his mind will cling onto in this drunken state, it'll be this moment with you in the side yard where your cheeks are perfectly flushed from the alcohol and cold nice breeze, your hands all over him, and his heart racing as he admit to you and himself for the first time that he loves you.