#part 1 is done now. part 2 needs physical materials. and i just finished my first draft of part 3 and im so fucking stoked

[simplydnp]

enrich your enclosure!!!

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

Currently watching - January

Because I love a good little list - with an alphabetical order this time! 😊

Regularly updated during the month, latest update 31.01.2023

This may contain spoilers!

1. Ameiro Paradox (6/8 on Viki and Gaga)

An enemies to lovers story with journalists and cute smiles. I am a little bit confused by Kaburagi, just like Onoe is. It is not bad, the acting is quite nice.

2. Bokura no Micro na Shuumatsu aka The End Of the World With You (1/8 on Gaga or Viki)

This feels depressing and heartbreaking and I love it! Done right this can become a little sad gem.

3. Cutie Pie 2 You (1/4 on Youtube)

Well, I haven't been waiting for this and the first season left without a deeper impact on me. So right now I am very much unimpressed with this one.

4. HIStory 5: Love in the future (5/20 on Viki)

It is starting to grow on me. Both storylines. Seeing Hai Yi being nice, caring and less arrogant is kind of sweet. And all the flirting between Liang and Wynn is very much entertaining. Besides that, the main story is kind of confusing and I can't stop myself from asking, why doesn't He Bo Wei search himself in the internet?

5. Individual Circumstances (4/8 on Viki)

After years spending their lives apart from each other an almost worn out movie director and a famous writer meet again. The past has to be processed and the writer deals with their history and present in one of his stories. I like this one a lot. Can it be please next week, so I know what they were talking about in the preview?

6. My School President (8/12 on Youtube)

I loooove this one so much!!!! It is my favorite watch of the week! Set in highschool we meet Tinn (the school president) and Gun (head of the music club). Tinn has a huge crush on Gun and Gun sees in Tinn the enemy who is standing between the success of his music club and the win of the Hot Wave Music Contest. Sometimes you just need a good old high school bl to be happy. I enjoyed this series so much. And the music is so good!!!

7. Never Let Me Go (7/12 on Youtube)

The tension and chemistry between the two mains is definitely there and noticeable. I am hooked with the story and at this point really anxious about what's to come. There are so many layers to unfold and I love reading all those metas here on tumblr! So well written analyses.

8. Physical: 100 (2/10 on Netflix)

Okay, listen...my best friend told me, I should watch this and after 15 minutes we were on the phone with each other and for the next 1,5 hours we had the time of our lifes! This show is insane and so much fun to watch!

9. The New Employee (6/8 on Viki)

I love the manhwa and I really enjoy this adaptation. It is funny and cute and not so far from the original material. The two mains have a wonderful chemistry.

Finished in January

Series

1. 2 Moons the Ambassador (12/12 on Youtube)

It was just bad. The acting was not good. The plot was...lame and there was too much going on with the amount of couples to deal witj. And there was just too much dull drama without reason and so many plotholes and logical errors... 2 out of 10 for the sweetness sometimes

2. Till the world ends (10/10 on Youtube)

This one was such a pleasant surprise for me. A story about the end of the world with explicit and brutal scenes, decent acting and a kind of good story! The chemistry was there and with episode eight they said, well lets show world what we can do. I won't talk about physics nor the ending. Well the latter would explain the first issues, but I don't care. I liked it! 8,5 out of 10 dystopian ideas

3. Remember Me (14/14 on Gaga)

Okay, this one is so complicated for me. First I found it boring. With episode three I was hooked and totally into it. Around episode 10/11 I just got bored again and the story became...difficult to like anymore and the last one was just meh...I really liked the storytelling, but some parts could have been cut short and others needed more story time. I felt like they have forgotten that there were like four other stories beside Champ's in the last episode so everything felt rushed. And yes, the big problem with Name's decision to speak. Like as it is just so easy to overcome your fear and barrier and mental health problem and just speak. One day, after you notice it would be better for others if you speak, you just do it...well, that is not how it works. And yes, thinking about it, this is a really big problem of the show in general. Just presenting mental health problems as something you can overcome with enough selfcontrol and some words of encouragement...or the sight of others who feel unwell in your depressed presence...damn...It could have been such a nice 7, but thinking about those flaws really hurts...there is no real working with the problems. Champ just decides to forgive his family and his depression is healed...Name speaks because he just decided to do so...Gun and Golf broke up and just a few days later Golf says sorry and pulls out a ring and everything is fine again...Well no...that is not how life works. 4 out of 10 stories to tell

4. Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai VS Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko Season 1 (4/4 on Gaga)

A man who tries to avoid the world of BL, by reading Yaoi mangas to get to know all the tropes he has to avoid in order to not get involved with the world as a main character. It is hilarious. I had a really good time watching it. 8 out of 10 tropes to avoid

5. Love Bill (10/10 on Youtube)

A vietnamese drama about a young man falling in love with a screenwriter. Well, of course there are some other things happening in between, but this is the heart of the story. Our boy Nguyễn Bá Vinh is doing a great job! I really enjoyed this drama. And the ending is so perfectly fitting for this drama. Thien is a screenwriter and known as the king od sad endings. So yeah, the ending is sad, but at the same time perfect and bittersweet. 7 out of 10 rainwater barrel showers

6. The director who buys me dinner (10/10 on iQiyi)

Okay, I read the Webseries, so I do know what Dennis was up to and what his story was. I liked the story between Yudam and Dongbaek. The ending? I wish they would have stick more to the original, but I am not mad about it. They had a fresh start and it is not that open of an ending for me. Yudam agreed to have dinner with Dongbaek and I believe that those two will be happy in the end. 7,5 out of 10 pills to swallow

7. Island (6/6 non bl)

I have never thought I would say I like a horror series, but here I am. I hate horror besides Vampires, Aliens and Witches, so this was a surprise, especially when I think about my despise and horror for The Exorcist. But this one is really good! And now I can't wait for season 2!! There is so much to unpack and I am hooked! 9,5 out of 10 lust demons

8. War of Y (20/20 on Gaga)

I finally watched it. I don't know. It was good imo, without a doubt. But it is a little bit paradox. The series tries to go against the industry and the fanservice and the working conditions, but in the end it is just another bl. Most of the stories have their happy ending and are kind of unrealistic. I enjoyed my time watching it, even though it was tough at some times. 7 out of 10 two-faced media

9. Gaya Sa Pelikula aka Like in the Movies (8/8 on Youtube)

What a perfect little series! I loved every second of this and I wish it had more episodes. But they managed to tell the story in the time they had without cutting something short or anything. It is a deep story with a light storytelling that fits the tone perfectly. The story is about Karl and Vlad who become fake boyfriends to help each other and who happen to fall in love with each other for real. But nothing is that easy in this world and the process of coming out and coming to terms with who you are needs time. Absolutely love this one! 10 out of 10 dishes to wash

10. Ingredients (21/21 on Gaga)

This was the perfect thing to watch while laying down with a cold. It warms your heart and makes you smile. It is such a cute and wholesome story and I believe they will manage to overcome all obstacles in their relationship. I am very grateful for this recommendation! 9,5 out of 10 desserts

11. My Engineer (14/14 on Youtube)

Well this one was a ride. I liked the beginning, but my patience died at some point. So Bohn and Duen became a couple, but they didn't touch each other, no hand holding, no kind of showing affection and the only one who does shows them through words is Bohn, but he becomes so jealous I wanted to slap his face. He is sulking the whole second part of this series! That was so annoying. The only bright spot were RamKing. I get it, they are cute and the only ones with at least two brain cells! 5,5 out of 10 sulking faces...

12. The Tuxedo (8/8 on Gaga)

This was not good. I think it is cringy and there was no chemistry between the mains or a plot I could really follow. I mean there are short films out there, which can transport a better story with a better feeling for time and substance than this series. The amount of times I cried noooo...Not good... 3,5 out 10 what the hell was this blue tuxedo?!?!

13. History 4: Close to you (10/10 on Viki)

Yeah, close to you...what a perfect titel. Best friends to lovers, stepbrothers to lovers. And I liked it. I don't know what else to say. I know there are some scenes that are just bad. There is no excuse for that, but you know what? I watched KinnPorsche, I watched Dangerous Drugs Of Sex...And besides those scenes I really enjoyed the stories. Yes, also the stepbrothers. 8 out of 10 Cardigans

14. Between Us (12/12 on Youtube)

Well, in the end it was boring and I couldn't care less about WinTeams relationship or their traumas, which is really sad, because it plays such a big role in the series. I liked them in UWMA, but here, in their own series, they were blank and boring. 4,5 out of 10 swimming pools

15. The Devil Judge (16/16 on Viki)

Why so good? I couldn't stop watching in the end. You know the feeling when you are so tense, you just want to spoiler yourself the ending, but you don't want to, but you want to and in the end you are sitting there in tears, because the drama is so sad and you're so tense. And still, since the beginnen of the show, you question yourself if you want to hate Jung Sun Ah, feel pity for her, fuck her or let her fuck you. In the end I let her fuck me out of pity while I hate her with all my guts. But the drama is just so fucking good. So thrilling and with some really good (and some not so good) plot twists. And in the end, every meme is true, gay sex would be less gay than what ever was going on between Kang Yo Han and Kim Ga On and I respect them for that. 10 out of 10 intense eye contacts

16. Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai VS Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko 2 (3/3 on Gaga)

A man who tries to avoid the world of BL, by reading Yaoi mangas to get to know all the tropes he has to avoid in order to not get involved with the world as a main character - Part II (yes, I copy paste this one...). It is hilarious. I had a really good time watching it. 7,5 out of 10 tropes to still avoid

New Category: Dropped/On Hold

1. I will knock you (1/12 on Gaga)

Well, I don't like it. It brings me no joy so far. So for now it is on hold until I have nothing more to watch...

2. To Sir, with love (2/17 on Youtube)

I know that it is good, but I don't know. I just can't find the energy to watch it. Perhaps some day in the future.

3. Something in my room (3/10 on Youtube)

I saw people talking about this one and how good it is. Well, it is quite okay. I guess it will get a little bit deeper with more episodes, but I haven’t had the time to watch more or the motivation to watch it...so for now it is on hold

4. Hit Bite Love (on Youtube)

I couldn't get over the first half of the first epsiode. It just made me uncomfortable. So this was a dropped for me...

Short films

1. Invitation (on Gaga)

A short film about a jobless person who finds binoculars and breaks in a stranger's home. There is a good twist in the end. The acting was okay, the story was okay...the ending was good. 6,5 out of 10 binoculars

2. Fragile Souls (on Gaga)

I like this one a lot. It has depth and a really deep story for a movie under 10 minutes. The acting is good, too. It is a story about opening your heart to someone and not keeping you inner demons all to yourself. You are allowed to be vulnerable and it gets better. 8,5 out of 10 grainy metaphores

3. Jay (on Gaga)

Jay is a 13 years old boy who is fascinated by his older brother's physique what somewho change into attraction. He is discovering his own sexual orientation while his brother doesn't keep his own a secret from the younger brother (he has sex with his girlfriend while the door to his room was open). It is a complicated film which ewokes complicated emotions. Jay is in an early stage of puberty and his hormones and emotions are going crazy. He can't bring himself to like the girl who has a crush on him. Instead he fantasises about his brother, or his brother's body, a male body to whom he has easy access. The acting is not bad, the subject difficult, but all in all not a bad short film. 7 out of 10 pants

4. Going South (on Gaga)

What a ride. This movie was tense and uncomfortable to watch. I guess you can start a discourse about the question wether the sexual encounter is consensual, dub con or just simply r*pe...With all I have seen it is r*pe for me. There was so much aggression between those two and I understand both sides, which doesn't mean that ones actions were justified. 5,5 out of 10 chasing scenes

5. Suddenly Last Summer (on Gaga)

It is the story about a student, who stalks his teacher after he discovered the latter is gay. The student goes so far that he blackmails the teacher to do everything he wants for a day in return he would keep his secret safe. Well it was a slow and quiet movie. The acting was good. The story itself was okay. I liked it. Did I liek the student? Nope...But his behavior fits his character and his role in the movie. 8 out of 10 headphones

6. Kiss Of The Rabbit God (on Gaga)

This is such a beautiful and good short film! I loved every second of it and I was hooked to the very last scene. The following is all you need to know. Oh I love some good stories! A long time ago in the Qing Dynasty a young soldier fell in love with a handsome official and was sentenced to death for confessing his longing. When his spirit travelled to the Underworld the soldier’s crime was forgiven as one of passion and he was ordained The Rabbit God, the god of secret lovers. The god now travels through eternity answering prayers of forbidden love. 10 out of 10 crimson-hair

7. Langit Budak Biru (on Gaga)

It is not easy to watch, it is not easy to think about, but it is important to think about, to talk about. A movie about two boarding school students in a very religious and very homophobic country trying to understand why they are here and how to survive. My highest resprect for this movie. 10 out of 10 !

Movies

1. Gameboys: The Movie (on Gaga)

Well I haven't seen the first season, but you can indeed watch this without knowledge of the things that happen before (imo). I thought it was a decent movie. The acting was good, the stroy was there and I liked it. But I can't with "Baby" as a term of endearment. At some point all I could hear and concentrate on was this term and I am honest, I hated it. 7 out of 10 ... baby ...

What I’m looking forward to in January:

Beautiful Scars (2nd)

Stoma (4th)

Cutie Pie 2 You (6th)

Utsukushii Kare: Special Edit Version (16th)

Individual Circumstances (19th)

Hit Bite Love (21st)

Kare ga Boku ni Koishita Wake (23rd)

Bokura no Micro na Shuumatsu (30th)

Langit Budak Biru (30th)

Future

The Luminous Solution

[disciple-of-frost]

Okie dokie then... (0 A 0)

Also! I'm just going to be answering these as a comprehensive list and not send out more. I'm really really sorry, I just don't want to send more to people I might have already sent this to. Just know I appreciate each and every one of you and my inbox/messages are always open if you want to chit chat more!

Also Also! I'm just going to be answering 12 things that make me happy, a nice happy medium also cuz my brain like to freeze up whenever I try to think about myself and my interests. (T _ T)

--

1.) My mutuals OCs! Seeing the love poured into each character and the unique takes everyone has done to fit MSQ/character dynamics to them is so cool! I know we aren't all a hivemind and we won't like all of the same characters, but seeing you all uplift and be supportive to one another helped me be more open and post about Ishi.

2.) Coffee. I am a caffeine fiend and I have done my damnedest to recreate a lot of the drinks Starbucks has released at home. And I will say, I make a mean Lavender Cream Matcha. If you think you can't make something like that I'd say don't be afraid to try. You might surprise yourself.

3.) Monster High. I was in high school in conservative, small town nowhere when they first released and my parents didn't feel the need to buy things that weren't necessities. So now that I'm an adult and enjoying things I never got the chance to when I was younger I have 5 Draculauras hanging up in my bedroom.

4.) My cats. I know I said Animals already in another post, but I don't care. I have four fur babies and they are so special to me, I'm currently living in a really small semi-beaten up apartment because any houses for rent where I am have pet limits and I am not going to abandon two of my cat's just so I can live in a slightly nicer but exceedingly more expensive house. It's not a perfect place to live by societal standards, but it's ours and my boys are everything to me.

5.) Music. I am expanding my music horizons, but for the most part I still listen to a lot of the music I did as a teenager. Linkin Park, Killswitch Engage, Sevendust, Breaking Benjamin, etc. But I do try to find more independent artists that emulate a similar sound to my old favorites; Mallavora, From Ashes to New, Aviators, Magnolia Park.

6.) Gonna move away from physical/material things for a sec. That feeling you get when you get done cleaning a room and you sit down, take a deep breath, and just smell the clean.

7.) The satisfaction of finding a new recipe and nailing it on the first/second try.

8.) Seeing people be kind. I know there are horrible things happening in the world right now, but seeing seemingly small acts of kindness get's me teary eyed. A person rescuing goose eggs from a pond and returning them to their nest. A man picking up trash from a forest creek. Somebody getting gifted a plane ticket to go see their family in another country or having a family member show up to surprise them. I'm honestly getting misty eyed just typing this out. I'm just a really emotional/sentimental person.

9.) The fact that I have been able to keep a single plant alive for more than a week. My partner and I got a potted plant at a baby shower for his boss almost a year ago and that little guy is still kicking.

10.) Giving compliments to people when I'm out in public. I never got a lot of positive affirmation as a kid so whenever I see someone being unabashedly themselves and just wearing their style proudly I like to let them know they look good and that they're killing it.

11.) Finishing a game that had me emotionally invested. Lookin' at you Persona 3: Reload.

12.) Seeing my friends in person after not hanging out in a while. Being an adult can be lonely and people have responsibilities in their own lives that they have to put first before leisure and friends. So actually finding time to be together with the people I love and being able to hug them is super important to me.

--

Okay then. That's about it for now, if I do get another one of these I'll try my best to list a few more.

Thank you to @paintedscales, @shadesofblades, @myreia, @draconian-empress, and @corsair-kovacs! 💙

[zimithrus1]

Hades AU: Zagreus and Thanatos swap jobs temporarily

Send me an AU and I'll give you 5+ headcanons about it

1 It started as a simple question: "How hard is it taking souls?" And it ended up with Queen Persephone bringing the job swap to life, much to the headache of Lord Hades, who allowed it anyway as it was nearly impossible for him to deny his wife anything. Thanatos found himself giving scythe-wielding lessons to Zagreus, (Achilles did not have the right set of knowledge for scythes, he's afraid) and Zagreus found himself giving Thanatos the best tips and tricks to finish off an encounter quickly and how to best deal with the bosses at the end of each region.

2 Reaping souls was hard for Zagreus. Especially when the mortals would beg and plead not to die, that they still had so much they wanted to do before their time. The hardest part was reaping those whose times had come far too soon, tears in his own eyes and heart breaking as he claimed their souls. For Thanatos, taking on droves and droves of Lord Hades' legion was not without difficulty, (as the Olympeans didn't really give him any boons, except for Zeus to get a good jab at his brother, and Dionysus but because he thought it was funny), but he had a much easier time with the occupational swap. Dealing with Megaera proved to be quite challenging, as they had never needed to fight each other to the death before. He feels bad whenever he sends her down in red, much to her dismay, but she's still a good-sport about the exchange.

3 Charon and Hermes were shocked when they found Zagreus helping square away souls with them rather than Thanatos. Hermes couldn't resist giving Zagreus a hard time at his big, watery eyes for every soul he would load onto Charon's boat. Telling him 'Not to worry, because one day you'll learn how to do that on the inside' and patting his cheek while saying it. Charon gave him an understanding 'hrrngghhrahhh' and a small hug to make up for Hermes jest.

4 the worst part of the occupation switch for Thanatos was not the endless droves, or battling with the Furies or Lernie, no. The worst part was having to fight Theseus in the coliseum. When he walked in with Stygius molded to an aspect of his own, Theseus became physically incapable of shutting his pie-hole: "THANATOS? DEATH HIMSELF COMES TO CLAIM ME AGAIN? WHY TO THAT I SAY NO SIR! YOU ALREADY TOOK ME ONCE YOU BLACKGUARD AND I'LL BE DAMNED IF I GO DOWN TO YOU AGAIN! COME ASTERIUS LET US PUT DEATH IN HIS PLACE AND SHOW HIM JUST WHO RULES THE COLISEUM! NOW HAVE AT THEE YOU--" "Let us have a good fair fight, Death." Asterius simply says. Thanatos likes the bull-man way more than Theseus. He vaporizes Theseus first every time.

5 Thanatos puts up a good fight, but in the end is taken down by Lord Hades at the very end. Death finally experiences the thing he brings and he learns first-hand how and why mortals fear it. When he materializes back into the House of Hades, he finds a puffy-eyed Zagreus waiting for him, who grapples onto him immediately and says he doesn't have it in him to take souls, its too hard. Thanatos asks if Hermes told him that he'd learn to cry about it on the inside. Zagreus nods fervently and asks how he knows. He responds that 'Hermes told me the same thing when I took my first soul.' It's his way of saying 'you're doing a good job and it's good that you actually care'. Queen Persephone applauds them both at a job well done and how it was a very interesting experience and she would love to see another swap sometime soon. Lord Hades says they already wasted enough time on this and they should all get back to their original jobs. Both Zagreus and Thanatos gain even more understanding and respect for the others' jobs.

[lugonzalez94]

Journey Down the Yellow Brick Road Part 2

This post is long overdue since I finished the YBR2 workshop earlier this month, but life’s been keeping me busy. To be honest it’s been a bit hard to keep up with my practice, with making this blogpost, with my social life, or working on selling my art, but I am coming up from it and doing the best I can!

YBR 2 Week 3 - 5: Making the Finish Line

In my previous post I left off with struggling with 1 of my 3 paintings, sitting with 2 of my 3 paintings, and letting some thoughts around my practice and who I am as an artist simmer.

I found myself stuck with the Té de Noche painting because I was overthinking it. I wanted to bring in the feeling I get while sitting around the table at my grandma’s house on Sunday evenings with the family. We share pan dulce, café con leche, and friendly conversation. I guess one of the reasons why I was struggling with this was that I was trying to remake a memory and was getting caught up in the details. For instance, I couldn’t for the life of me remember what kind of table cover my grandma had. This memory of Sunday evenings together also began to feel very distant to me. Even though I have spent close to every Sunday at my grandma’s for more than half of my life, these past 2 years that we’ve missed spending together has made a significant gap in my memory. I was also going through another significant life change during the last few weeks of YBR2, so I was going through a lot emotionally and physically. And as I was going through these emotions and thoughts, I came to realize that although I was hoping this series would depict community and family, it’s rooted in moments of solitude. It’s about finding joy in your own company. Comfort in your own thoughts. It’s about putting yourself first and taking the time to care for yourself. Letting myself figure this out while doing the work was exciting. It’s interesting how much art can teach us and let us discover for ourselves, especially if you’re the one making it.

I often find myself stuck in a painting when I’m close to finishing it but I’m unsure if it’s done. I also feel stuck when I’m trying something new and it doesn’t feel quite right and I don’t like how it’s coming along (big shocker, this happens all the time when you try something new!). I haven’t really worked this big before, which made me feel like I have a lot of space to work with, so I automatically think I need to add more to my painting to fill the space. I also received the feedback that my art is quite graphic, which I didn’t really realize before. At first, I wasn’t sure how to feel about that. But after some time to think, I came to realize that yes, my work has always been a bit graphic. I’ve more-or-less drawn and painted the same way since I was a child, it’s just better now. There’s nothing wrong with it, it’s just who I am. My art is soft and warm. My art has some texture, some shadows, some shading. My art is round and curvy. My art depicts the way I see the world. It’s my artistic voice.

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To get unstuck, I take some time away from my work. Or sometimes I make different work, like work on a different painting or in my sketchbook. I come back to things when I feel the time is right. I don’t force it, I know it’ll happen. What I love most about my practice is that it’s mine. I can make things I envision or am inspired by and bring them to life. I listen to my favorite music while making art. I use materials that I that feel good. I let myself get “in the zone” and just be in it. Most of the time I go in with no expectations. And honestly, these things helped me finish my series.

After adding a few more details and letting my paintings be, I finished! I feel so accomplished with my series and I am very proud of myself. Taking this class and going through this journey has really made me develop a newfound dedication to my practice. During the last two weeks of the workshop, I started a new job. And while I was preoccupied with the transition, I noticed I missed painting when I was doing other things and I noticed when I felt like I wanted to paint. I worked best at night right before bed and also made time to get a little paint session in the morning before I started work. From this series, I see a few more paintings, and have even started to work on a few. I see another picnic scene. I see more moments of solitude. I see moments of longing and wishful thinking. I see community. I see smoothness. I see some rough textures. I see scenes in different angles.

Ultimately, I feel motivated to keep going and to build out my community with other artists and support systems. I feel more confident in sharing with those close to me and re-evaluating what I want to share, how much to share, and with who.

After the workshop I’ve been a bit quiet and took some time to rest. I felt like I needed it. This transition has also been a lot and has been challenging to navigate. I haven’t had the energy or mental capacity to paint a lot, which bums me out. But I take advantage of those few moments where I feel motivated to paint and just do it. I also started to sketch on the couch a bit, which has been fun. I took a little trip with my closest friend and my sister, which made me feel re-energized. I feel like I’m getting over this slump and am looking forward for what’s to come.

Thanks for reading and for being here.

[lingyue226]

Week 7

This has been a very productive week for me. I identified the pinball game as the idea I'd eventually use for development and started with the paper prototype.

Things I have done this week: 1. Material Research 2. Idea Sketches 3. Paper Prototype

Reflection/Thoughts on what I have done based on Rolfe et al' s(2001) reflective model(What? So What? Now What?):

What? After deciding what I wanted to make, I did some research on materials. I initially chose to use laser cutting to create the final object, as our school fab lab makes it easy to make laser cuts. I just needed to get the drawings drawn up. Thankfully, I had experience with laser cutting and drawing up sketches before this and knew what to do. I investigated all standard materials for laser cutting, such as acrylic, PVC, and cork. The cork would have been the most accessible material for the final product because it is more common in the fab lab, and most students use it to make laser cuts. But, I preferred PVC and acrylic because they are more aesthetically pleasing. I want my final product to be playable and visually attractive.

So What? After getting some initial ideas of the materials I might use, I started to map out my ideas based on some existing pinball games I found. In my vision, the pinball game I was making would be different in appearance from most pinball games on the market and had to be unique enough. I made the main shape of the game circular (the general shape of which was inspired by my biscuit box) and added two layers of wave patterns around the edges to simulate the marine ecosystem. I considered using blue translucent acrylic for this part to simulate waves better. I designed the rough track of the game with some traps (holes) and a turntable on the track to add playability and fun. I wanted to create the pinballs in the shape of a fish. Still, the shape of a fish is not a regular circle, so if I made the pinballs exactly in the shape of a fish, they would not be able to roll on the track. So I considered adding some fish elements to the pinballs, such as scales and the representative color of the fish. I also want to add some stickers/patterns next to those holes to represent factors not conducive to sustainable fish breeding, such as overfishing and too high seawater temperatures, so that the player can simulate the fish while playing and avoid those dangerous areas to reach the end. I considered using pure white acrylic as the material for the main body of the game, as I thought it would look better with blue acrylic.

Based on my sketches, I made the paper prototype in the fab lab.

It's a rough paper prototype, I just modeled the general shape with a paper shell and drew the track and the pattern next to the hole with a black pen, but it's a good process. Materializing the idea helped me better understand what the final physical object would look like, and it's more intuitive for the tutors to understand and give me suggestions based on that.

Now What? One thing that I lacked consideration for was production funding. The realization came after I finished the paper samples. Because I envisioned the pinball game to be at least thirty centimeters in total length, it should cost quite a bit if it is all acrylic. Although I have not researched the price, my intuition tells me it won't be cheap because it's not small. If I can't afford to go all acrylic, I should look for both strong, aesthetically pleasing, and cost-effective alternatives. Next week, I will build the 3D model and then work out the details from the model so that I can make laser-cut drawings after that.

Reference:

The University of Edinburgh. (2020, January 30). What? So what? Now what? The University of Edinburgh. https://www.ed.ac.uk/reflection/reflectors-toolkit/reflecting-on-experience/what-so-what-now-what

Driscoll, J. (1994) Reflective practice in practise. Senior Nurse 13 (7): 47–50.

Borton, T.(1970) Reach Touch and Teach: Student Concerns and Process Education. 

Rolfe, G., Freshwater, D., Jasper, M. (2001) Critical reflection in nursing and the helping professions: a user's guide. Basingstoke: Palgrave Macmillan.

[lesfeldickbiblestudy]

  Through the Bible with Les Feldick LESSON 1 * PART 4 * BOOK 58 1 JOHN 5:8–18 - Part 2 I just want to thank you, our television audience, for being part of our ministry, whether it’s with your prayers for us, or your financial assistant or both. And the same for those of you here in the studio audience, we want you to know that we appreciate your effort to come in and be a part of this and as all of us labor together. I usually write a note to folks and say that that’s what we are, we’re co-laborers. And what I receive as reward someday, you’re going to be a part of it. Okay, now we sort of ran out of time in that last program, and I didn’t realize I was down to seconds, when I looked up to see how much time I had left, so therefore didn’t have a chance to finish our thought. So I had to leave everyone hanging by a thread. So let’s go back to John’s Gospel chapter 14 and I just want to show again the stark difference between what was taught in Jesus’ earthly ministry and what Paul teaches in the Church Age of us today on this same subject. Remember in Jesus’ earthly ministry, He meant what He said. He wasn’t lying, He wasn’t stretching the truth, it was absolute, but what He said there in John 14 doesn’t work in the Age of Grace today. John 14:13-14 "And whatsoever (and that means what it says) ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, (That’s a promise.) that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14. If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it." Now you and I know that that doesn’t work. You cannot tell me that ‘everything’ you’ve ever asked for God has done, because it just doesn’t happen in this Age of Grace! But with their (Israel’s) view of the Kingdom, and with Christ as the King, yes, then it would become a reality. But, now come back with me to the language of the Age of Grace, the Church Age, the Apostle Paul over in the Book of Philippians. Now whenever folks call us and have a real prayer need, this is what all of us there at the ranch - myself and the girls working out in the office and Iris, always take them right back to this portion of Scripture. Philippians 4: 6 and 7, because this covers all the bases. This says it all! Now there are other portions where Paul certainly prays as a model prayer for us, but you can always use this and feel at peace doing it. Philippians 4:6a "Be careful (or worry) about nothing; (that’s easier said than done too, isn’t it?) but in every thing…" Now there again it means what it says. "Everything." Now I think all of us are sensible enough that we’re not going to ask for something silly or something that’s inappropriate. But being commonsensical about it as believers we now have the freedom to come into the throne room and ask for anything. Now I know there are those who hold that God is not concerned about our physical or material needs. And I say ‘hogwash!’ He’s concerned about the whole being. He’s just as concerned about yours and my physical well being, our material well being as the spiritual. They are all part and parcel of our whole makeup. In fact, Paul says in II Thessalonians, chapter 5: II Thessalonians 5:23 "And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly: and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ." Well, that covers all of it, doesn’t it? All right, so, here we go again. Philippians chapter 4 verse 6. Philippians 4:6a "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication (which means asking, but here’s the secret) with (what?) thanksgiving…" You see, I think this is where a lot a Christian folks are missing the blessings. They are not thankful. In fact many almost get to the place where they think they deserve it. I don’t care where we are in our spiritual experience we never stop thanking God for everything. Starting with our salvation, our Christian experience, our health, our physical, our material. We should thank Him for everything. Constantly. For every breath of air.

For every bite of food. For every comfort. And for us in America, for every what? Luxury. My I’ve said it before, do you realize that much of what we take for granted in America is luxury to a good portion of the world. And I’m thinking primarily of hot water at the tap! What a luxury that we can just turn the tap and have hot water! My, we learned that lesson while we were down in Haiti. I don’t think in all the ten days we were there we had hot water at all. Oh, you come home and you begin to appreciate it. But those are just things that are all part and parcel of God’s blessings for which we are thankful. Philippians 4:6b "…let your requests be made known unto God." In other words, you pray. You verbalize it. Now God may say, ‘Yes.’ We may have almost an immediate answer. He may in so many words say, ‘not now, but later.’ Or He may say a flat what? ‘No.’ It’s not for you. But regardless and this is what I love, regardless of how you get the answer in verse 6, it’s all answered in verse 7. And what does it say? Philippians 4:7a "And the peace of God,…" Now I always make the differential again, back in Romans 5:1 "we have the peace with God," which was our salvation experience. Now the peace with God that comes by faith, in other words, we’re no longer an enemy, we’re now at peace with God. But this here in Philippians is not peace "with" God; but now we have the "peace of God." Now let’s just sort of analyze this a minute. Can someone who is not at peace with God ever enjoy the peace of God? No. Because we’re outside of that realm. But as soon as we’ve made peace with God we’re no longer His enemy, we are now His child, now we can cash in on the peace of God. That’s a big difference. Philippians 4:7 "And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding,…" In other words, we can’t comprehend it, we take it by faith and as I’ve said so often, even the work of the cross, we can’t comprehend all that God did at the cross. What little we comprehend is by faith and someday in glory, yes, we’ll probably have a full understanding. But here again, this peace of God, as a result of our leaving it with Him passeth all understanding. And whether He answers ‘yes’, ‘no’, ‘later’, this peace – Philippians 4:7b "…shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." What a promise! Now I don’t have to go back to John and say, "Well now God you promised that whatever I asked, You’ll do it." That’s absurd. He doesn’t have to do whatever I ask today. But, whatever I asked He has promised that no matter how He deals with it, He will give the peace that passeth all understanding. Now we’ve been through some economic turmoil and a lot of people have lost their source of income and they’ve gotten in dire straights. Well, I’ve been there, I’ve done that so I can identify with those kind of people, but you know what? The peace of God keeps us through all that. And if there’s someone out there, a true believer, and you’re in financial straights, don’t despair. God is still on the throne. God is still in control. God will somehow or other bring you through it. And you’ll be the better for it. I don’t care what you’re going through when you look back, you’re going to see that it has strengthened you. And we’re going to be looking at the same thing in I John in a little bit, with regard to sickness and death. But never forget, that as a believer today we have access to the throne room, we have that access to share our needs with the Almighty and regardless of how He answers, we have the answer – "the peace that passeth all understanding." All right, great big difference. Big difference. Now back to I John again. I think maybe we can finish the little book this afternoon. I John chapter 5, now verse 16. This is a difficult verse. I’ve been wrestling with this one for the last couple of weeks. I John 5:16a "If any man see his brother sin a sin which is not unto death, he shall ask, and he shall give him life for them that sin not unto death…." Now again I have to even force myself to bring my thinking into line with the Jewish economy.

These are Jews that John is dealing with. And they’re still part and parcel of the legal system Mosaic Law. The Temple is still operating. And so we have to take all that into perspective. So, if a Jew here in John’s period of time, was to see a fellow Jew delving into some kind of sin that was not gross enough to bring in God’s judgmental taking of his life, he was to admonish this brother to depart from sin, whatever it was, lest it become a sin unto death. So, it was a matter of taking concern for a fellow believer in the realm of the Jewish economy. All right, then the next statement is: I John 5:16b "…There is a sin unto death;…" In other words, even in the Jewish economy, if a Jew would not refrain from living a life of sin and would not come back into fellowship, God would take His physical life. Now we don’t see that expressed as much in the Jewish Scriptures as we do in the Apostle Paul. All right, let’s go back and see how Paul dealt with it. Come back with me to I Corinthians chapter 11. Now whenever I deal with this, the first thing I’m going to emphasize to all of you here in the studio as well as to everyone out in television, be careful. You have to be so careful that you don’t get the impression that any time someone gets sick or has dire consequences that it’s because they’re in sin. My goodness, God can bring bad health, God can bring financial disaster for the sole purpose of strengthening our faith. Not because He’s punishing us, but only to strengthen our faith because I’ll tell you what, nothing will increase your faith more than going through dire circumstances and knowing that God never forsook you. So be careful that you don’t say that when someone is suddenly stricken with cancer, or they’ve been stricken with something else – oh they must have sin in their life – don’t ever do that. But it is possible and the person who’s guilty knows what he’s guilty of. All right, I Corinthians chapter 11 drop down to verse 28, 29 and 30. Now of course these are the verses dealing with the Lord’s table, but it’s going on beyond the behavior at the communion table, it goes right out into the everyday experiences now. I Corinthians 11:28-29 "But let a man examine himself, (in other words, some introspection) and so let him eat of that bread, and drink of that cup. 29. For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh condemnation to himself, not discerning the Lord’s body." In other words, he’s careless about what the blood, or the cup and the bread, for the broken body, are signifying. Now verse 30. I Corinthians 11:30 "For this cause (because someone is careless) many are weak and sickly among you, and many sleep." (have died) That’s what the word "sleep" implies. But now again you have to remember that the Corinthian church was a congregation of carnal believers. They had a lot of sin in the congregation and yet they were believers. All right, now let’s go back up to chapter 5, and here we find a rather gross situation, and I’m going to be careful of the language that I use because I know I’ve got a lot of young kids watching the program, and I don’t want to do anything that will embarrass parents. But here we have a case of gross immorality. Such immorality, as Paul says, that even the Romans, the Gentiles, did not practice. I Corinthians 5:2 " And ye are puffed up, and have not rather mourned, that he that done this deed might be taken away from among you." The congregation was "puffed up" and instead of being "mournful" over this hideous sin in their group, they had evidently been making light of it. See what Paul is saying? That if this individual did not come back from that sinful lifestyle, God would take him. And he would still be saved. Oh, I know it’s hard for some people to swallow, but he wouldn’t lose his salvation, but God would take his physical life. All right, read on. Verse 3. I Corinthians 5:3-5 "For I verily, as absent in body, but present in spirit, have judged already, as though I were present concerning him who hath so done this deed.

4. In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, (in other words, in the realm of the spiritual congregation there at Corinth) when ye are gathered together, and my spirit, (in other words, Paul even though not present would be present with them, probably prayerfully that they would be able to handle this) with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ, 5. To deliver such an one (who is practicing this sin, not just falling once he was living in it) for the destruction of the flesh, (his physical life, much like God with Job, told Satan he could touch his flesh but he couldn’t take his life) that the spirit(the soul,) may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus." See how plain that is? This man was not going to lose his salvation but they were going to deal drastically with him, if he didn’t repent or come back out of that sinful lifestyle. All right, now then, he comes down to verse 9, and having consort with a believer who is in gross sin that was one thing and that had to be dealt with. And if that individual would not respond then he was under danger of having his life taken as we saw back in I Corinthians 11. But now in order to qualify where we are in this world of rank immorality and wickedness all around us, here’s how we have to face it. I Corinthians 5:9-10 "I wrote unto you in an epistle, not to (keep) company (or have fellowship) with fornicators. 10. Yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortionist, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world." Because if you’re not going to rub elbows with any of those people, in the five days of the work-a-day world, you’d have to "leave the world." Because you cannot avoid it. You’re going to find yourself in the workplace up against, rubbing elbows with these kinds of people, that’s the world we live in. Even then already. I Corinthians 5:11-13 "But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a immoral or covetous or an idolater, or a railer or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such a one not to eat. 12. For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge (or deal) with those that are within. 13. But them that are without (the unbeliever) God judgeth (He’s going to take care of them. But what about the believer in this group?) Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person." But the believer put away from among yourselves that wicked person. And then God will deal with them as according to I Corinthians 11 and consequently amongst the Corinthians who had, like I said, a lot of problems, many of them had already died as a result of their sinful lifestyle, as believers. And that’s why it behooves us to be careful how we live because God is not going to permit a believer to bring reproach to His name. And if he will not turn from it, then we know from Scripture, God will take them. But now like I said earlier and I’m going to repeat. Don’t ever – don’t ever look at someone who’s going through tough times whether it’s health or anything else and say well they must be living in sin. No. Because usually it’s to increase our faith. Okay, now let’s go back to I John again for a moment. Verse 18. Now this is a verse that’s thrown a lot of curves at people. I John 5:18a "We know that whosoever is born of God sinneth not;…" Have you known people who claim to be believers and that they’re so holy that they don’t sin anymore? Sure you have. I have. Ridiculous. There’s no such thing as living in the flesh and being totally above sin. We’re still in the flesh. We still are bombarded with the things of this world. But, what part of us as believers cannot sin? The ‘new man’. The new man cannot sin, it’s Divine, it’s from God Himself. But, we’ve got to remember when we become believers we become a two natured person. Come back with me to Galatians chapter 5, because again a lot of Christendom does not teach this. But it’s a Pauline doctrine that when we become a born from above individual, we are now a two-natured person.

We have the new Divine nature as a result of God’s saving us, but we’re still kept with that old Adamic nature. Oh it’s defeated. We can render it powerless, but it’s still there and here’s where we deal with it the most clearly in Scripture. Here, Paul writing to Gentiles up there in what’s today central Turkey. And they too, were being deluged with the idea of keeping the Mosaic Law along with Paul’s Gospel of Grace. And so this is why the little book of Galatians is written that you’re not under the Law, you don’t have to keep the Ten Commandments hanging over you, but instead we have that empowering of the Holy Spirit within. And the Holy Spirit does what the Law could never do. Verse 16. Galatians 5:16 "This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, (that is under His control) and ye will not fulfil the lusts of the flesh." The Spirit will never direct a believer into a lustful experience. That’s not the Spirit’s domain. Now here’s the reason, verse 17. Galatians 5:17a "For the flesh (the old nature, the one that we crucified with Christ at the time of our salvation. The old nature) lusteth (or in another portion the word is ‘wareth’) lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary one to the other:…" Now you can’t make it any plainer than that. Those two natures are in a side-by-side and they are so totally opposite that they’re in a constant warfare. Galatians 5:17b "…so that ye cannot do the things that ye would." Now you’ve heard me use the illustration on this program more than once. If you’re paddling a canoe up river, and you pull the paddle out of the water and lay it in the canoe, which way are you going to go? Right back down stream. A canoe is something that you have to constantly keep battling the forces of the stream. All right, the Christian life is the same way. The minute we let down our guard. The minute we go several days without prayer and Bible study, we’re going to see ourselves spinning around and going backwards. It’s a constant warfare. And this is what Paul teaches, see? But now verse 18. Galatians 5:18 "But if we’re led of the Spirit, (we keep that paddle in the water) ye are not under the law." Which means, that we’re under a whole new set of circumstances. The Spirit has taken the place of the Law and I’m going to show this in just a minute. And then he goes on and shows the two different lifestyles of those natures. The old sin nature is listed right up there in verse 19, 20, 21 and they are terrible. But then the new nature is listed in 22 and 23, Galatians 5:22-23 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness and faith. 23. Meekness, temperance: against there is no law." See? Totally different makeup than the flesh. All right, now in the one minute we have left. Turn back to Romans chapter 7, and this is why the believer is under totally different circumstances than the Jewish believer under nothing more than the Mosaic system. All right, got Romans chapter 7 verse 5 and 6. Romans 7:5 "For when we were in the flesh, (Before we experienced the saving power and the Holy Spirit coming within) the motions (or the acts) of sins, which were by the law (in other words, coveting and stealing and so forth. They) did work in our members to bring forth fruit unto death." Romans 7:6 "But now (see, flipside but now since we’re saved,) we are delivered from the law, that being dead wherein we were held: that we should serve in newness of spirit, and not in the oldness of the letter." See the difference. Now we’re going to live under the leading of the Holy Spirit, and not under the demands of the letter, or the Mosaic Law. What a difference!

[hoodieofholland]

Someone else - part 2

Summary: after your accident, Tom tries to get back together.

Read part 1

A/n: i had a couple of asks for part 2 of this one and was happy to write another ending for it :)

Warnings: mentions of bruises and a car accident, language, mentions of physical pain. Heartbreak. Angst.

You make yourself comfortable on the sofa of your living room, supporting your weight on Harrison's arm. Face wincing with all the pain you feel over your legs, stomach and back, you breath through your mouth slowly.

"Sorry, sorry", Harrison, as he did many times already, apologises for something he didn't do, a frown on his face, too worried that he might have hurt you. You try to smile through your sore body.

"You didn't do anything, Haz", you say, laying your back on the sofa. "It's just- difficult to do literally anything right now"

"I know, I know", he sighs. "Still, it worries me. How you gonna work this out? You can't stay here by yourself, y/n. And though I really wanted to, I won't be able to stay here for the entire day"

You roll your eyes, already knowing where he wanted to hit.

"I'm not calling him, Haz", you were firm to say.

Harrison sighed. "I didn't say you needed to call him. Just pick up one of his many calls", he crosses his arms over his chest. "C'mon, Y/N, Tom wants to speak with you. He's been suffering a lot, he spends the whole day saying he's sorry for what he did and how much it costs to him to be far from you while you're in pain".

"Well, then I ask you if you can imagine how much I've been suffering. Because if you can't remember, I'm the one who has been hurt, I'm the one who got in a car accident after what he told me" You shout at him, voice cold, too mad to measure your words. "I'm the one who was standing the whole relationship, Harrison, the one who would sit and watch our love, our passion, all the moments we spent together being thrown away, but I kept trying and you know why? Because I loved him. I loved him with all my fucking heart. And what, among all the things Tom could have done for us, tell me, Harrison, what did he do? He fell for another woman. He didn’t hold me, he didn’t stick with me. He told me he got feelings for another woman while still with me".

By the end of it you were out of breath, not only for your long speech specially when your body was so fragile, but by the truth in your words. "This, Harrison, is why I'm not picking any of his calls".

Harrison goes silent, watching as your eyes water and your jaw trembles with all the emotions you were trying to refrain inside of you. You were hurt and you had your reasons. You had to go to physioteraphy, and you had to conceal it with your job, and had to reorganize your whole life just because of what Tom did. You felt alone, you felt miserable, and there was no 'I'm sorry' he could tell you that would erase that. Tom made a mistake, but it wasn't his fault. It was only a man following his heart, so you had to concentrate on fixing your broken one.

The following days felt like hell. Harrison couldn't help much, he had his own life to deal with and you didn't feel it was fair for him to busy his day with your problems, so you tried to carry on by yourself. Which proved to be so much more difficult due to the forearm crutch you had to use to support your weight and save your broken leg.

You were just making yourself a decent meal for lunch, nothing really appealing because you couldn't afford for so many hours standing in your kitchen. After finishing and eating it, you decided to take a nice bath and take comfort from the warm water and bubbles.

You prepared everything and when the bathtub was ready, you took off your clothes, struggling to not fall without your crutches. You put it on the floor, beside the bathtub, entering slowly, taking care of your leg. Wincing with the pain of such a movement, you tried to relax as soon as your back touched the rigid plain material of he bathtub.

Usually, whenever you entered for a bath, you weren't alone. Tom was always there, holding you on his arms, your back against his warm chest. You two would relax and let the stress of the day run out with the water until it was cold. Tom would hum some random music, making you feel good, and if you rambled about something that made you upset that day, he would start massaging your shoulders while you talked, never arguing, just listening and pressing some light kisses on your temples whenever your sighed.

It's gonna be alright, love, he would say, squeezing your shoulder with a tighter pressure, making you melt into his touch. He would shower you in compliments when you told him a good part of your day, and laugh with you whenever you said something funny or something stupid that you might have done.

I love you, he would whisper on your ear, and you'd feel like you were on the top of the world. It felt so natural coming out of his lips, like a statement that was meant to be. Like there was no surprise at that. Like you couldn't live without one another, and you both were fine with that.

But he could.

He did live without you now, lived in another house, in another routine, without those baths and without you to hold whenever he got in that bathtub. You knew it was silly crying over something so distant, since those moments were so far away that the words he said made no difference for that. He was gone a long time before saying it.

Still, you feel a pressure on your chest, much worse than the pain on your swollen ankle.

Sighing loudly, you decide to get out of the bath, supporting your weight with your arms, but soon enough find out this is a much harder task. You try again, but stop when realizing the wet surface will get you slipping. You try to figure out how to get out of there, with one of your foot not being able to stand properly, and at some point you even stand in one foot only, just to step out of the bath and fall to the floor after slipping in the wetness you made yourself.

"Fuck!" You curse, arms stretched plain on the floor, stopping you from hitting your head. You look over to where your leg is laying, swollen and slightly red, without the leg immobilizer. It hurts a lot.

Taking a long and struggled breathe, you try to get up by pushing your arms and standing at just one foot, but it doesn't work at first. You try again, and then one more time, and by the third, you fall back to the floor again. "Shit!", you almost scream at the pain when your twisted ankle hit the ground at the fall.

The cold bathroom's tile quickly gets your soaked body trembling. As if the day could get worse, you see your phone hanging by the sink.

You sigh, feeling defeated, and in an attempt to not make the situation of your leg worse, you drag your body until you can reach the sink, stretching your arms out to reach your phone. It's difficult, but somehow you can grab it.

You're quick to search for Harrison's name on the screen and while calling him up, you pray that he's not busy enough to drop by your house and help you to get up from the floor.

You feel ashamed while waiting for him to pick the call up, literally in the most terrible moment of your life. Harrison doesn't pick the call, which makes everything worse.

"You gotta be kidding me", you huff at nothing in special, as the third call ends up in voice mail. Looking through the numbers on your phone, you realise what you already knew - there's no friend or parent or anyone you trusted to enter in your house to help you like this, that lived close enough to drop by.

Except for the only person that still lived near you.

You look at his picture on your phone, the contact name saved with a heart beside it. You weren't strong enough to change it. It felt like that was the last step to go through and admit that you and Tom were no longer a couple. Silly, you think. That's not important anymore.

Thinking about your options, you can't believe that the universe is really playing this with you. Must be some kind of joke, a cruel joke. Or maybe you were just dumb enough to try and take a bath with your broken leg still healing.

So instead of wasting more time thinking about the curse that was made of your day, you swallow your pride and your pain, and finally call him.

The phone rang twice before Tom picked up.

"Y/N?"

The surprise was evident on his voice. Clearly, he wasn't waiting for you to call him. A wave of shame takes you. He wasn't even expecting your call, and there you were.

"I- I've called you so many times this week", he says in a hushed and low voice, as if he was trying to stay quiet. You can hear some other voices around him.

"I know", you let it slip out of your mouth quietly, mind driving and drifting for the sound of his voice alone. You missed it, if you were being honest. You missed it way too much.

"Are you okay? Are you taking care of yourself?", he asks, and that snaps you out of your thoughts.

"Yeah, but I- hm, I kinda..." you look at your leg on the floor and sigh. You're naked on your bathroom floor, needing help from your ex-boyfriend, who has made it very clear that he was developing feelings for another woman. Could it be more pathetic? "It's nothing. I- I gotta go"

"What? No! No, no, no, y/n, please, I need to talk to you", he pleaded, voice louder now. And then you could hear him apologizing on the other side, dismissing himself. "I'm here, please, talk to me".

"I've nothing to talk to you, Tom. We don't have anything to talk about", you say, throat feeling raw.

"Darling, I have so many things I wanted to tell you..."

"Don't-", you close your eyes tightly. Darling. You used to love when he called you that. "Tom, it was a mistake, I'm sorry, but I think you're also busy, I don't want to interrupt anything".

"No, no, I'm at the car right now. You're not interrupting anything".

You sigh, defeated. You knew arguing wouldn't take anywhere now.

"I can't talk right now, Tom. That's why I called you, I-", you sigh loudly. "I need your help".

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

"Y/n?", you hear his voice calling from the hall, a little insecure and worried. "I'm here".

"In the bathroom", you shout, bitting your lips. You didn't tell Tom what was up with you, only that you needed his help - in an urgent way. He complied immediately, without asking twice what has happened with you, knowing that you needed him.

"What happe-", you hear his footsteps when he enters the bathroom, stopping om his tracks as soon as he saw your body laid down on the floor, "Oh, my God, y/n, what you doing here?!"

You roll your eyes, tugging tighter on the towel that now covered your body to prevent from something to show off. You knew that there was nothing to hide from Tom, since he had seen every inch of your body, but, still, you thought it was better if your ex-boyfriend didn't get to see you naked again.

"I fell", you answer, feeling your cheeks burn. "I was taking a bath and tried to get out of the tub, but slipped, and... yeah. Dumb enough, so if you cared to help me here, I'd be grateful".

"Oh, yeah, 'f course", he is quick to bend over and put his arms beneath your knees and your shoulder, lifting you on his arms. "Sorry", he whispers quietly when watching your face grimace with discomfort - in part for having Tom touching your bare skin, where the towel wouldn't cover.

His touch is warm and it feels familiar to you. It's good, as always, but it also makes you remember things you so fervently tried to forget the last week.

"Imma put you on your bed, okay?", his voice is soft and caring, and he carries you to your room. Placing you carefully on the bed, he can't help but notice the way your fingers are rigid from holding the towel so tightly.

He puts a pillow under your back and pull the quilt to cover you. "Comfy?"

You nod twice and gives him the smallest smile. "Thank you".

You immediately miss the heat that was coming from his chest, but try to concentrate on something else. Your swollen ankle isn't the best thing to focus on, but soon enough you see yourself wincing at the pain when you try to move it under the blanket.

Tom lifts the fabric just enough to take a look at the bruise, and worry takes his features. "Damn it, this looks terrible".

"It feels terrible", you ramble, biting your lip.

"Can I do something about it?", he offers, looking into your eyes, which you avoid.

"Hm, no, I can take care myself-"

"Darling, please, stop it. We both know that you can't. This won't ever heal if you keep doing that".

He looked guilty. He spoke as he was guilty of something. That alone was enough to make your stomach sick.

"You don't have to act like you own me something, Tom", you say sternly.

"I am not", he is quick to defend himself, but then, taking a long breath, he rubbed his temples with his fingers, avoiding your eyes. "Look, you must have some meds to take for this, right?"

You took a look at your ankle, sighing as you nodded. Maybe you did need his help anyways.

"There's a cream for pain. It's in the living room, uh, at my desk", you explain and Tom is quick to comply, making his way to the living room.

While he walks away from you, you manage to make yourself more comfortable, putting one more pillow on your back. You don't feel too comfortable yet, feeling the wet sheet beneath you from your own body, the towel around you making little to help you keep dry.

"Why did you get in that bath anyways?", Tom asked when he returned.

You shrug, "I wanted to".

"Without help? Darling, this is crazy. Your leg doesn't look good", he mumbles with a frown between his eyebrows. He looked cute in that concerned look. That was Tom, he was always the one to make sure everything was alright with you, always warning you about the way you'd drive or the way you'd use the knife when cooking. He worried about you, always, whenever you got a flu or a headache. He'd say, let me do this, to whatever you were doing, and let you have some rest.

You feel a state of peace for about a whole minute when he sits on the end of the bed, touching your ankle ever so slightly, as if it could break if he put too much pressure on it, to spread some pomade over your swollen skin.

You hiss in pain at first, and he gives you an apologetic smile. "Sorry".

Once you get used to his touch, you relax and don't feel so much pain anymore. Your eyes close slowly, the weight on your shoulders desapearing second by second.

When Tom is over with his work, you're still with your eyes closed, not really wanting to open it and somehow face any kind of reality you were trying to avoid. He gets up and goes to the bathroom to wash his hands. When he's back, you feel his weight deepen the mattress.

There's a moment of silence between the two of you. Your breathing is regular, but only because you're struggling to keep it that way. You don't want to give away the sensation of anxiety you're feeling on your chest.

"I really wanted talk", Tom suddenly murmurs, almost a whisper. You froze in your place. "I know it's not probably the best time-"

"Then don't", you release a breathe, still not opening your eyes. Your eyelids feel so heavy know.

"I want to". Tom insisted. "I need to".

You open your eyes, meeting his deep brown ones. He's pleading you with them. You look at him, really look at him this time. You see the dark bags under his eyes, the way his shoulders look tense. You see tiredness on his face, it's written all over it.

"Were you with her?", your mouth is quicker than your brain, and before you can think about what you're saying, it's already out. Tom lower his head for a second and when he's looking at you again, there's a conflicted expression on his face.

"Yes, I was", he breaths heavily. "But it's not like you think. We were on the set".

You press your lips tightly together and nod once, averting your gaze. "It sounds perfect", your voice is barely a whisper, but he's still able to hear over the extreme silence between the two of you.

"What do you mean?"

You swallow, breathing through your mouth to avoid the possible whimper that comes with all the emotions on you.

"It's perfect, you and her. I always knew that this..." you gesticulate a finger between the two of you, "... couldn't last. You're famous, Tom, a talented actor. Everyone was expecting you to start dating one of your co-stars, but no, you started dating me instead. And who am I in this whole fucking spectacle? No one. It's obvious that you have faced it now".

Tom has his mouth agape, as if he couldn't find the words. "Are you serious?"

You don't dare to look at him.

"Y/n, I'm talking to you. Look at me", he says in a much more stern voice. "Are you being serious?"

You try to stay as unfazed as possible when you look at him again. "Yes", your voice comes out strangled from your dry throat, yet, it's firm and sounds convicted.

Tom gasps, shaking his head in disbelief. "This doesn't even make sense", he sounds lost in his own words, fighting to get the right ones to express what he's feeling. "That's so far from the truth. Darling, I'm sorry, but this is- this is an absurd. No one see us like this. I don't see us like this".

"You can say it for yourself, Tom, but not for everyone else".

"Well, then fuck everyone else!", he says, throwing his hands upwards. "I don't care what people think of us together, I don't care if anyone think I should be with an actress, which is so non sense itself".

"Why?"

"Because I love you, darling", his voice is soft and somehow he seems out of breath. "I know I fucked up, but it's true".

You scoff, blinking away the tears that started to water your eyes. "Shut up, you told me you're in love with her. What do you want, Tom? Do you wanna watch me suffer a little more while you run to her again? Was it not enough, everything I've been going through?", you shout at him. "Tell me what the fuck you want with this!"

Tom sighs, closing his eyes tightly. There's another moment of silence before he speaks again.

"I deserve it", he breaths out. "Told you I fucked up. I was confused, y/n. I know it's not excuse, but I was going through a lot, and we were far from each other, so I got confused with how I truly felt", the shame and the hurt were clear on his voice. "I'm not in love with anyone but you, darling".

And then there's a sob. You take time to realise it's coming from you, "You're just saying it because you feel guilty, Tom, so please, stop it. Stop it while I still think it's the guilt talking, and not a sick fucking game you wanted to play with me", you sound disgusted.

"I'm not playing, love", he gets up from his seat and kneels down beside your side of the bed. Taking his hand on his gently, he pauses, looking directly into your eyes. His free hand ghost over your wet cheek, hesitating to caress a thumb over it. "It's not guilty. I'm the one to blame for what happened to you, but it's not like that. I love you, I always did. That night, when I got the call from the hospital- that was far the worst day of my life, y/n. Because on my way to see you, I tried to-", Tom breaths through his mouth, his voice becoming lost as he fought to hold back a sob. "I tried to imagine a life without you, I started to imagine what would be like if I lost you that night, and the pain I felt with it... It felt like dying, y/n", his eyes were red, thin lips trembling as he touches his forehead with yours. "I can't live without you, love, and I'm so fucking sorry I didn't realise it sooner".

Tom wiped your tears away, one by one. He was staring at your face, as he was trying to save every inch of your skin.

"You know-", you chocked on your words. "You know I can't believe it that easy, don't you? I can still hear you- you saying those things to me, Tom".

"I know, I know, my love", Tom blinked a couple of tears away. "And I'm so sorry for that too. I don't expect you to forgive me now, and if I'm being honest I'd understand if you never wanted to see my face again. I'm just hoping that you do, that you still want to- to be with me. 'Cause I'd do anything just to bring back what we were before, y/n", he squeezed your hand and smiled a little. "Remember, love? How everything was good, everything was perfect".

"You forgot about that", you accused.

"I was dumb. Probably the dumbest I've ever been in my entire life".

You breathed through your mouth, blinking as you stared into the wall. You didn't want to settle things down right now. You felt emotional, confused and utterly touched by the memories Tom was bringing up just by the tenderness on his voice and his words.

"Do you like her?", you dared to ask, pressing your lips together in a tight line. You were afraid of the answer, but you needed to know before getting to any conclusions. "Is there any kind of feelings growing for her?"

"No", Tom stared deep in your eyes to answer, his face stern, pretty much like his tone. "I don't. I was confused and I messed things up. There's nothing going on between us, y/n, I swear. And there will never be anything".

You nodded slowly, savoring his words. These, though, weren't enough to drag all the pain away. You still felt hurt, and the things that have been running through your mind would take time to heal and be forgotten.

"I need some time to think", you said, sighing. "'S all too much".

Tom nodded quickly, getting up from his knees and releasing your hand with a bit of resistance. "Yes, 'f course. Whenever you're ready", he said, coughing a bit to hide the shaky voice. "Do you need something else for you leg? I don't wanna go without making sure you-"

"I didn't tell you to leave", you interrupted him, whose eyes grew wider.

"Oh", he gasped, a little and hesitating smile on his lips, "I thought that you-"

"I need time, but...", you tried to sit on the bed, to rest your back on the frame. Tom helped you to not make a great effort. "But I don't want you to leave now. Besides, I need help".

He chuckled lightly, the sound so pure and joyful you almost forgot how great it felt.

"Okay, yeah, that's- that's perfect", he said, walking around the bed to take a seat beside you. But you stopped him before he could get too comfortable.

"What about the set? I'm sorry I called you, by the way, didn't know you were busy-"

"No, no", he shook his head. "I took the day off".

"Why?", you watch as he takes the blanket out of his way to sit beside you, a small soft smile on his face.

"Because you needed me", he shrugged. "I told Harrison that if you needed me to stay here with you, I would. Didn't he tell you?"

You looked at him sheepishly, "Well, I kinda told him I didn't wanna talk to you... It's not his fault".

Tom frowned, but nodded nonetheless.

"'S okay. You were right", he says, taking your hand again and squeezing it gently. "I'll be here as long as you want".

Silently, Tom remembered about the promise he made you and himself while you were still asleep in the hospital, that not matter what, your love would be his priority from the moment you woke up. He was still up to it, and seeing you stare at him with your soft bright eyes made his heart beat with hope that things would work out again. It made him happy to know that you still could love him one more time.

[friendlypsychopathnextdoor]

How can I motivate myself to finish school

1. Why do you wish to finish school?

Use that reason and push through, step by step. If you put in more work now you will experience a sense of success as you receive better results. This will fuel your motivation and make it more enjoyable and therefore school itself “easier”.

2. Enjoying it.

Find something enjoyable about the topic that is currently being taught in a class you struggle with and volunteer to give a presentation on that specifically. For example if you struggle with history, but enjoy physics give a presentation on the workings and the development of “Little Boy” and “Fat man” or the “machinery” used to build the pyramids. If you prefer biology, but struggle with maths offer to give a presentation on exponential functions using the example of bacterial growth. Most people are naturally curious about something and if you manage to transfer your curiosity to a subject that is otherwise difficult it will become easier to invest time.

3. Yet.

Do not allow yourself to say or even think “I suck at this”, “I can’t do this”, especially when it comes to entire subjects. Sometimes you will need more time to learn something, others will struggle in different areas, but it is more of a matter of “I can’t do this, yet” unless you give up.

4. Distractions.

It is often that other things seem more important or at least more enjoyable and while indulgance to a certain degree is healthy especially as a child/teenager, “social obligations” created by friends or romantic partners are less important at this stage of your development. It is likely that if people insist you prioritise them, that they do not have your best future interest in mind and you will suffer no long term loss from losing their “friendship”/“partnership”. However, in general it is best to turn distractions into rewards. If you wish to play a new computer game, force yourself to do parts of your homework first. Maybe after doing the first half you can start loading the game and then when you are done you will play it. This short partial reward system works especially well if you have long study sessions ahead that you can thereby split into smaller more realistic intervalls all followed by a small-“partial” reward that will not lead to a longer interruption.

5. Routine.

There are a lot of “study schedules”, most of which are absurd online, but they are unlikely to help you. If you struggle with motivation to begin with trying to follow a strict schedule, even if you set it yourself, will likely demotivate you even more. Instead, for example just plan to go to the library next Saturday to learn ahead or catch up a bit. If this works for you, then maybe go again next Wednesday etc.. If you wish to have a plan then set it up in a way that there is less scheduled than you would ideally be able to do, for it is very demotivating to fall behind your own ideals.

6. Environment.

Study, if possible, somewhere were you are surrounded by people also studying who are otherwise not part of your peer group or home. People seem to be more motivated when they see strangers sharing their suffering as well as giving room for competition and new contacts, be it a personal “library romance” or the law students who fell asleep on their desk a few tables over. Going out to study, to a park, your school, your cellar etc. will also make the experience more similiar to other hobbies you might have, allow for less distractions than your own room and you are less likely to give up, if you have put in the effort of getting there with all your materials.

7. Exam dates.

Something a bit of a personal trick, which might not be something you wish to do or should do, is to schedule exams earlier than they actually are. It has led to a lot of confusion by my classmates and parents in the past, but as a teenager I have made a point of putting the exam date a day or even a few days earlier in every calendar than it actually was, so much so that this “wrong date” was the one which I thought of when I thought of the exam. I finished all of my studies before that date and as it arrived I “suddenly” had time for revision. This practice can prevent procrastination, however, it makes no sense if all of your exams are within the same week, unless you move all of the by an equal amount forward in time.

Post scriptum: This advice is mostly centred on struggling less as a student and less on motivation, mostly because people can easier motivate themselves to do things they are good at.

Post post scriptum: There is a saying that “school is not for everyone”, however, unless you have an alternative that would be likely to financially secure you and offer you more joy than any job you could get by finishing school, droping out, especially if you are young and not far ahead in your academic endeavours is a bit of a pointlessly dramatic choice. When you ask the question under point one, the answer “I think a phd would look nice next to my name one day”, “I don’t know what else to do”, “my parents would think I am a bit stupid otherwise” are perfectally acceptable reasons. You can still search for alternatives to academia, but that does not mean you need to make your time till then more difficult and if you put enough effort in to succeed in some larts, those will become a lot less difficult.

[barbecuebabybackribs]

Sex with Jasper Hale would include: (Male Reader)

(If the title isn’t warning enough this is nsfw- also yes I know I said this would take a few days but I 1. had my friend bugging me to do it and 2. Needed a break from more complicated requests and life. Also this felt so awkward writing but I hope you guys enjoy) P.S: this is slightly tailored to my friend who requested it- so I’m sorry if it doesn’t fit you

NSFW UNDER CUT!!!!

Human Mate:

Jasper is afraid of hurting you- he is extremely strong and everyone always thinks he’s about to loose control, even though he would never hurt you when everyone around you is on edge and you’re an empath, it puts you on edge.

But when your alone, and he only feels your emotions and his own, he’s able to relax enough to feel comfortable being intimate with you.

It almost always starts with a simple kiss- which he doesn’t end.

He would 100% stop if he ever felt you weren’t into it

He’s a dominant top- he will let you ride him but you both know who’s in control

He loves to pin you to whatever surface is closest- bed, table, wall, it doesn’t matter

He loves how you can’t get out of his grasps, he’d completely in control of just how much pleasure you’ll get

He’s a big tease

He’ll touch you just about anywhere except where you want him to

He’d slowly kiss down your body, paying attention to your emotions and every time he feels a spike of arousal when he touches a specific spot- he pays extra attention there and makes a mental note for next time

Slowly strips you down- almost to slowly but that’s the point- to drive you absolutely insane with lust- which he does help along with his powers

The man use’s his powers a lot but can you blame him?

Calls you pet names the entire time “Darling” “Love” “Sugar”- has called you “Baby boy” a few times when your especially desperate for him

He. Love. Going. Down. On. You.

Almost loves it more then you going down on him- although it’s a close call

He has no gag reflex- which he uses to his advantage

Loves when you moan out his name and pull at his hair

He will stop if you ever suppress your moans/whines- he wants to know just how good he’s making you feel

He’ll overwhelm you with, waves of lust, his mouth, and his hand grasping at your ass/ massaging you.

He loves hearing your moans and your breathless praises

It’ll depend on his mood if he let’s you finish from his mouth, he loves when your moans raise and he can feel you attempting to thrust into him as you reach your high, or he’ll take you right to the edge then stop all contact- relishing in your needy whines and small thrust into the air,

“Jasper, please.”

“Don’t worry, Darling. I’m not even close to being done with you yet.”

Usually tells you to take his clothes off, making it as difficult for you as possible

Arousal is an emotion he can control- and if he so wishes he could overwhelm you with so much lust and arousal he could make you cum without even touching you- he’s tested it before and caught you off guard when you were doing the laundry/cooking

So when you’re trying to strip him he’ll randomly send waves of lust your way- just eating up how you’ll grip his clothes tightly and lean into him- whole body shaking as you do so- but he’ll just bring you to the edge before ceasing his teasing

If he’s in no hurry, he’ll let you go down on him

This man is almost never vocal- except in the bedroom

He doesn’t want to thrust to harshly so he let’s you control most of it

It’s alright if you can’t fit all of him down your throat- you are human and there is a limit for you.

He does however love when you use you hand to rub and pump the rest of his length

He’s pushed you off of him more then once- usually getting so lost in the pleasure he can not trust himself to not loose control

“Jazz? You alright.”

“Come here, Now.”

If you get him to riled up your in for a rough ride- literally

He will bend you over on any surface/ press you against a wall

You’re practically begging when he’s stretching you/ prepping you

He’s prepared 99.9% of the time with lube- if he isn’t it’s purely oral that time, as he wants to make it as painless as possible.

When he’s done prepping you he’ll ask if you’re ready- if you are he’ll thrust into you slowly but forcefully

Wait’s till your fully adjusted before setting a relentless pace

Nuzzles into your back- has lightly bit into you neck once or twice- usually doesn’t though just in case

 Grips the back of your neck and thrusts into you- making sure to hit your spot every. single. time.

When you’re reaching your high he will drape against your back and use one hand to support himself and the other to jerk you off

He’s got a praise kink- loves when you praise him, but especially loves muttering small praises into your ear at he fucks into you

You moans only spur him on to fuck into you harder

He’s a sucker if you beg him to go harder or do something differently- man can’t say no

“Please- please don’t stop!”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

He’ll time your release with an specially brutal wave of lust

You’ll be shaking after your release- and being overstimulated by him continuing to thrust into you chasing his own release

When he cums he’ll practically growl into your ear- thrust becoming even rougher and erratic.

He has and will overstimulate you- he’s a vampire which means lots of stamina

He never goes to far- understanding you’re still human and he doesn’t want it to get to unbearable

But if you’re up to it- he’ll keep going till you’re practically falling apart

He does like it when you ride him, he’ll make you hold his hands and watch you fuck yourself on him

He adores every part of you, almost get’s lost in trailing his fingers down your sides, your face, everything

If he decides your pace isn’t fast enough for him, he’ll grab your hips and thrust up into them

He also like when your on your back, he loves watching your facial expressions, the pleasure that washes over your face- that he caused- it really spurs him on

He also liked being able to kiss you in the middle of the act, your mouth, your neck, anywhere really- but especially the mouth, he likes when he thrusts particularly hard while kissing you and you have to break the kiss with a broken moan

God this man loves everything about you

He’d also be open to tying you up occasionally- he’d use silky material because he 1) likes the feel, and 2) he likes how it doesn’t hurt you

This man loves being in control and when you let him tie you up and forfeit all control to him- it really get’s to him

He makes sure you have a safe word in place before you do anything.

If he feels you be uncomfortable- hit’s the breaks

He’s stopped in the middle of an extremely intense session because he felt the slightest amount of discomfort

“I am so sorry, Do you want me to stop?”

“No- Jasper that’s not it-”

“Are you okay?”

“Jasp-”

“Are you hurt?”

“Babe please calm down–”

It takes a lot of convincing for you guys to continue

This man is all about the aftercare.

He doesn’t need it as much as you physically- although emotionally he does appreciate when you praise him and tell him you love him.

He’ll clean you up, has forced you to take Advil if it was a particularly rough night, and I hope you like sappy jasper because that’s what you get

Kisses your forehead and tells you how good you did, what a good boy are.

He pulls you close to him, wrapping his arms around you- loving if you cuddle up to him more by wrapping your arms back around him.

He likes to feel your body slowly relax as he talks to you, you sleepily mumbling responses.

Until your heart beat and breathing calms and you drift off to sleep, and he’s able to watch you sleep in his arms- god he’s so happy he found you

He loves when you trust him enough to sleep next to him

In the end he just wants you to feel safe and loved, even in your most intimate moments

(Uhm… so that’s my take on it…. i’ll see myself out- if you want a vampire mate version just lemme know- I honestly don’t know how I feel about this.)

[honeyabyss]

How the newly Dateables would do in a “The Forest” AU

So this was inspired and allowed to post by @lucifers-favorite-pen

I read theirs about the brothers and had to write something for the others as well!

Definitely check out their post too: The Brothers in “The Forest”

Warning: some curse words, very slight gore

Solomon:

I have ANOTHER child?

ignore that, I didn't say anything, you have no proof I have a child, can I request a paternity test before I start searching for him?

will spend at least an hour at the planecrash harvesting everything that seems of use... So basically picking up everything until his bag is completely stuffed

no magic? That's a problem, tries to summon his pacts nonetheless, obviously fails, gets a bit disgruntled by the fact he now has to carry all the shit he picked up himself, will try to load it into the bag of someone else only to get called off

"but it's for us~ it's going to help the group immensely! Won't you help me carry it?"

Lucifer: "why would we need so many wristwatches and coins?"

"to make bombs!"

Lucifer:" that would only endanger us more, leave it here"

Solomon getting forced to leave things behind so he isn't overloaded anymore (Mammon will most definitely pick up all the wristwatches for later selling purposes)

will not help building a shelter, “you know I would help but I'm just not as strong as you... In our team I am the brain and you guys are the brawn”, will get hit by the demons... That's probably the first time he dies, through discovering friendly fire

will be using the brothers as a shield, because he doesn't want to respawn and lose all his stuff

actually will help Beel building traps around the base, well he tells where to put what, but that still helps to fend off many nightly visitors

will collect body parts of the cannibals out of the traps first thing in the morning

"Solomon are you making a cannibal leg stew? I think I just became a vegetarian"- everyone. periodt.

5/10 survivalist. He sure is intelligent and will make some things easy, but he is still a shady and selfish bitch, You're getting attacked? Watch Solomon hiding 2 meters away from you behind a rock while he plunders Mammons dead body

Diavolo:

“oh? This is way more fun that sitting in this noble meeting I just got teleported out from” (every noble will panic, but Dia doesn't care)

“this is my son? How exciting I'll show him his future Kingdom once we saved him! wait he's not real? He will disappear when we finish the game?” sad Dia 

is excited all the time, “oooh is this what a camping trip feels like? Except for the plane crash of course... But walking around the forest with friends, making a shelter, eating food at a campfire... That's exactly a camping trip!”

Diavolo please calm down, you're going to lead the cannibals to us

"Cannibals? How interesting, but would they even eat us? I mean it's a human game right? So if humans see them as cannibals then they would eat humans not demons or angels right?" sorry Mc, you’ll be sacrificed...

Will test out that theory. Surprise, he is wrong and almost gets eaten if it weren't for Lucifer and Barbatos protection, gets a good scolding afterwards, will be more cautious from then on

“Barbatos, I command you to protect Mc all the time! We can't have something happen to them even if it is just in a game”

building a shelter? Never done it before but it sounds fun, will instantly adjust to Beel, if you chop wood you have to get rid of your shirt first right? Will give his best and use his strength to carry as many logs as he can

just shirtless lumberjack Diavolo

hears someone complain about not being able to use magic. Oh right he could have used magic, had too much fun to even consider using magic. “This is a great challenge for us all!”

10 /10 even though he doesn't notice it, he is giving his best without having to think about it, has a whole lot of fun and isn't the tiniest bit scared. Will ask for a repetition of the game, ending in everyone running away to destroy the game disc

Barbatos:

smiles while he asks who of the brothers he has to murder thanks to this mess he's now in

will kill Levi, confused when he respawns without Barb having to rewind time, makes the job easier for him

will give out jobs to the group to organize everything so they can be sure they have everything covered

"Mc your job is not dying, sit down on this tree stump and watch out for any inconvenience that might occure... What did you just say? Could you repeat that?... There is a horde of naked men without genitals running down the hill? I- Did you hit your head in the plane crash?"

"Oh unholy devil king, you are right!"

Will move camp immediately somewhere more safe

build a camp? He has so many jobs, he is overseer, he will find food and make meals out of it, he will make a list of the materials they have and calculate how long they can last with it

will be on night watch every night, makes them move to a new location almost every day due to spotting patrols, not everyone is happy about it but they do as he says cause Dia trusts Barb, and Lucy follows everywhere Dia goes, and everyone else is scared of Lucy

will not die, the first fight he gets into a sweat will be in the endgame, will be packed with medical equipment, food, drinks and strong weapons, endgame is suddenly easy

10/10 pacifist run (besides the unavoidable fights in the end), is pretty chill most of the time, has everything and everyone under control

Simeon:

"did anyone get hurt? Here let me check up on everyone, oh my-" holds hands over Lukes and Mcs eyes and whispers to the others "Is that stewardess dead?"

Mammon:"sure is" instantly starts searching for valuables on the dead body

Simeon will guide Mc and Luke out of the plane to the side where they can't see any gore and make them wait there

holds hands of Luke and Mc on the way through the forest so a) they don't get scared and b) so they don't run off after any animals they see

shelter job? Take care of the children (Mc and Luke), plant a garden of herbs and berries with Luke, Mc and Barbatos, keep Solomon away from the campfire it's dangerous enough already, don't let Solomon cook a concoction that will kill them even faster

weird, naked, unsocialized man are attacking us? “Mc, Luke stay close behind me! I, archangel Simeon will protect you... With this sharp stick, cause I don't have any other weapons or magic to hand, but do fear not!”

will die the first time protecting Luke and Mc... Will be devasted when they both respawn with him as well “I failed at keeping you safe... forgive me”

will craft himself a bow and arrows and be even more determined to protect the precious young ones

will not kill animals, “we have enough berries, herbs and other edible things, look this tree bark tastes great, it's like spaghetti if you cook it in hot water and with this berry juice on top it's a perfectly fine meal” Will be the only one eating it, even Luke prefers not to

will not give up and stay positive (even when everyone ignores his suggestions), Mc and Luke try to cheer him up by doing some of his suggestions

5/10 he really tries but there is only so much he can do, he has no real weapon and even when he does he prefers to only knock out his enemys and run, making the cannibals only more aggressive with every fight

Luke:

doesn't see shit, because of Simeons hand, “what happend? What's going on? Why are we waking up in a plane?”

follows Simeons advise, gets extremely embarrassed about holding his hand "I'm not a child! I won't run away!.... Oh look there is a cute deer... did it get separated from his family? Maybe we can help him? Wait Simeon don't pull me away-"

"don't worry Mc I'll protect you!" gets scared of the cannibals and will hide behind Mc and Simeon

won't be able to do any physical labor to help build a shelter due to his childlike physic, will carry dry sticks and rocks to the camp with Mc and build a campfire for later

“I want to bake some dessert, do you think we can find flour here? And eggs? I can make a cake through melting these chocolate bars we found at the airplane, okay let me go look for baking materials”

 from there on nobody left him even one second of privacy, you need to go to the toilet? Okay let's go to this bush I wait behind you, you don't need protection while peeing? Maybe not but you might run away

Luke being stressed and embarrassed 24/7 and getting teased about it by the demons... You need to go to the toilet again? Let me take you on a walk chihuahua~

1/10 he is not a help most of the time, does prioritize the wrong things, it's just a game...and he is weak for sweets and cute animals

[mr-entj]

Hello Mr. ENTJ 👋🏻 ENTP girl here. Like any other Ne-dom I have major struggles with discipline and commitment. This ended up, obviously, screwing my life and I have no idea what to do. I have problems figuring out what career should I choose, and this is depressing me because I'm ambitious and would like to find my place and succeed. What advise do you have on discipline? Or on how to stick with something even when is not fun all the time? I know that for us is very difficult and that maybe an advise for others might not work so good with us (our brain is programmed to jump from one topic to another) but is there anything you know that could help with this?

Sorry for the long ask, and thank you so much.

(ps: I have depression, which I'm already working on with proper help. But discipline related to study/work and goals is something I still haven't found an answer)

Related answer:

Hello! I've been trying to be better about procrastination, because I realize how detrimental it can be, not only to myself, but also to other people in group project situations. Do you have any tips on pacing comfortably or figuring out how to have an equal amount of school work each night?

Hey there. Full disclosure before I go into procrastination: I don’t procrastinate, I’ve never struggled with it, and throughout my life I’ve done everything in my power to avoid procrastinating for reasons we’ll skip because they aren’t relevant to your ask. For that reason, I struggle to answer questions around this topic because I have limited personal perspective and my default response tends to be: “Don’t wait, suck it up, and get it done.” Plus, what works for my personality type may not work for yours.

The good news is that I have extremely brilliant and insanely accomplished colleagues and direct reports with your personality type who have found ways to manage procrastination. Here are some of the solutions we’ve come up with and they’ve used that’ve worked which may be helpful for you and others.

Managing procrastination for xNTPs (applicable to xSTPs)

1. Choose goals you’re excited about. This should be inherently obvious but it’s actually a common problem. Do you even want to achieve the thing you’re trying to achieve? If not, achieving it will be an uphill battle from start to finish. Here’s my framework to get you started.

2. Fail early and fail fast. High Ne users need to explore possibilities before they can make a decision so explore them early and move on. Do you want to study art or music? Take both classes, now. Remove the question mark.

3. Create an external support system. Go talk to other people about your goals: friends, colleagues, classmates, family members, mentors, and have them keep you on track. Even better, get a therapist if that’s an option. You mentioned depression and that you’re working on it which is great, keep your mental health up. Set up weekly, bi-weekly, monthly check-ins with them to measure progress. This helps with two things: 1) it pulls your goals out of your mind and into reality by speaking it into existence (as an intuitive, this is a constant struggle) and 2) it creates a system to keep you accountable to those goals especially if you’re not making progress. Ask for help if you need it.

4. Get a mentor. Find successful people who are where you want to be that you want to emulate. Talk to them, ask them questions, and keep them close. If you don’t know anyone like that, then research them online, watch videos, read books, and study their thought processes and habits. This helps because you’ll be able to see that someone has already walked the path you’re on and it’s completely achievable. You need to be able to see the result, not just imagine it in your head. The second benefit is that you’ll be able to check your internal logic against external facts. Are you doing what you’re supposed to be doing to succeed? Is your method actually feasible? If not, what facts from other successful people contradict your logic? Compare, analyze, adjust, and adapt.

5. Choose your friends wisely. Most people are influenced by their environment and their social groups, but xxTPs are especially vulnerable to social influence due to having extraverted feeling (Fe). If you’re trying to become a neurosurgeon but your friends are playing Fortnite 14 hours per day, then you’ll feel a strong pull to do the same thing they’re doing. For this reason, you don’t need to cut them off, but you’ll need to distance yourself from people who are interfering with your ability to do deep work. Set expectations with them: “I can game on weekends only for 2-3 hours” and enforce those boundaries. Then, add new friends to your social circle who have similar goals as you.

6. Work in groups. There’s a quote: “Many hands make for light work.” If you’re studying for an exam, then study with other people. Schedule a study group where everyone is expected to contribute notes to review and discuss. Global pandemic? Schedule a Zoom studying session. This accomplishes a few things: 1) it distributes the burden of crappy tasks and dense material among many people to become more manageable 2) it checks your logic and understanding of the material to ensure it’s accurate 3) it creates external accountability as covered in #1 and 4) it builds relationships with other people who may have similar goals as you and who may become part of your lifelong network. In general, xNTPs struggle with self-imposed deadlines and internal discipline but they tend to respond better when there’s a risk of letting other people down.

7. Break large goals into small chunks. Self-explanatory. Take a large goal like becoming a doctor which can take 10+ years (4 years of undergrad, 4 years of medical school, 2+ years of residency) and break it down into smaller goals like 1) master biology 101, master chemistry 101, etc. 2) get a research lab position studying something you find interesting 3) talk to some physicians in the specialty that you’re interested in 4) complete a few MCAT classes, etc. Small wins build confidence, increase momentum, and create gratification. 

8. Burn all bridges. xNTPs are masters of creative excuses and you must destroy all possible escape routes that can be used to get out of doing the tasks you must do. If you’re trying to get into better physical shape, then sign a non-refundable gym membership so that you’ll lose your money if you don’t go. If you’re trying to be more consistent with studying at the library, then volunteer to drive your study group so that you’ll let them down if you don’t drive. If you’re distracted by television, then sell your TV and cut your cable subscription. If you’re addicted to Tumblr, then delete your account. 

9. Summon the procrastination demon-- early. You know the demon I’m talking about, it’s the one that comes out right before a deadline that chases you to finish your work. Summon it yourself. Have you been wanting to write a book? Send out invitations to your friends and family to schedule a reading.

10. Show off. When you accomplish something, talk about it with other people. Share your knowledge, teach a class, write an online post, and distribute that wisdom to other people. It creates an added layer of gratification from your success.

[jooniyah]

Poison Apple : The Second

Pairing: Kim Taehyung x Fem Reader ; Min Yoongi x Fem Reader

AU: Yandere!au, Moneylender!Taehyung

Genre: Angst, Mature, Smut rated R

Warnings: NON CON, Hard Yandere behavior, kidnapping, implied forced pregnancy, emotional abuse, violence, blackmail, character death, voluntary starvation, degradation and physical abuse, slapping, cum play, manipulation, profanity, smut, blood, knives, guns, assassins, and murder.

Word count: 22.91 K

Disclaimer:  This is a work of fiction and I do not condone any of the actions of the characters in this fiction. This is to be treated as pure fantasy, and should not be misconstrued to be demeaning the idols in any way. If any of the above warnings cause you discomfort, kindly refrain from reading.

This is a non-consensual setting, please proceed only if you are not triggered by the warnings. All warnings for Chapter 1 apply. I repeat, please be sure to read all the warnings carefully.

Author’s note:  This is the second chapter of the Poison Apple Trilogy. Please make sure to read Part 1 before proceeding. 

Chapter 1   |    Chapter 2 

The man clad in black adjusted the scope of his M107 rifle, making sure his reticle was in perfect position. As he waited for his target, he did a quick sweep of the terraces of the adjacent buildings. No one was about. A faint slippery sheen of dew covered the cracked floors of the terrace he was positioned on. Any time now. He looked at the neon digits glowing on his watch.

Overhead, his skilled ears could pick out the droning of an approaching airplane. His skin felt clammy, possibly due to the side effect of his beta-blockers. Well, he’d finish the job and go have a well-earned vacation. Cold hands weren’t a big side effect, not when his pills gave him razor-sharp precision at shooting. The gangway of the cruise liner was slowly opened to allow passengers on board. The time had come.

He carefully combed his eyes through the influx of passengers, seeking the one face he was looking for. He didn’t even need to take the photo out of his pocket. He had committed the face to memory. And no disguise could fool him, he was ready for everything the target might try to pull off.

Time ticked on. People were walking on the gangway, boarding the ship, waving to their loved ones. But the target was not to be found anywhere. The described person hadn’t arrived, and the sniper had assumed that he could catch the target on the gangway. But as his professional eyes raked through the humans on board, he knew he was wasting his time. He remained in position, watching on as the ship sounded the final horn before gliding smoothly out onto the sea. He dialed the only number on his burner phone.

“Yes?” The tone sounded shrill and eager.

“A no-show. I repeat, it was a no-show.”

“What? Are you sure you didn’t miss-“?

“I never miss a target.”

There was a deep frustrated sigh.

“Fine. Abort and return.”

The sniper proceeded to pack up his gear and prepared to leave.

On the other end of the line, the figure exhaled sharply, muttering curses and bemoaning the failure. Just then, a dark outline materialized in the doorway, causing the figure to jump up, body numb with defeat.

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

“I won’t repeat my question again, Mrs.Min.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Then, answer me.”

You remained motionless, staring at the hard-grey table, fingers interweaved.

“Well?” The officer raised his voice, rapping on the table.

“I told you the truth.”

The man scoffed, leaning back in his chair.

“Listen, lady. You know your story sounds shit stupid, right?”

Your voice broke into a whisper.

“But it is true.”

He rolled his eyes. When he spoke again, his voice was dripping with sarcasm.

“Mr. Kim killed your husband? For you? He’s obsessed with you?”

“Yes.”

“You are giving yourself way too much credit, lady.”

You gritted your teeth, refusing to look at him. He clicked his tongue.

“Well, if your absurd story is true, where is your husband’s body?”

“I don’t know.”

He tsked under his breath. “So what proof do you have to tie Mr.Kim to this alleged murder?”

“None.”

He got up abruptly, shaking his head in irritation. He pointed a finger at you.

“You’re wasting my time. And for the record, Mr.Kim has been nothing but helpful in this investigation.”

You slowly raised your head. “What? What did he say?”

“Do you good to hear it and weave another absurd story, wouldn’t it?”

You watched him hesitate at the door, his hand resting on the handle. “If you are so innocent, Mrs. Min, why didn’t you report your husband missing?”

An angry fuse went off in your brain.

“Why would I report him missing, if he was already dead?”

“Can you afford an attorney, Mrs.Min?”

“I-What?”

The officer stared at you, pursed his lips, and stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

The court-appointed attorney was a tall, curvy woman in her early thirties. She looked calm and had an air of high maintenance about her. You wondered how she could have accepted to defend you. Maybe the woman did pro-bono work. She probably had rich clients. Rich. You were once rich. When Yoongi was alive. Yoongi. A bitter feeling coursed through your heart.

Another detective accompanied the officer who had previously interrogated you. They settled across you and the attorney, scraping chairs on the floor as they took their seats.

“Well, Mrs. Min,” the officer began, “we understand you have mortgaged all your property.”

“Yes.”

“So, what happened to the money?” The officer flicked through papers on a clipboard. “50 million dollars, wasn’t it?”

The second detective pushed himself forward. “More importantly, where is your husband?”

A dull throb started in your temples and seared across your skull. You could shout yourself hoarse that Yoongi was dead, but none of these people would believe you.

When he received no reply, the detective persisted.

“You got rid of him because you wanted the money to yourself, didn’t you?”

The attorney interjected in a harsh tone.

“My client will not answer that.”

“You hid the money someplace, so you could go and retrieve it later.”

“Officer, you will not harass my client like this.”

“I won’t, if she agrees to speak the truth.”

The woman turned to you; harsh impatience evident on the curl of her lips.

“Not a word, Y/N.”

You nodded weakly. You had told everything to the cops already. No one believed in you, not one soul believed that Kim Taehyung murdered Min Yoongi to obtain you. It was nightmarish to go on a walk, people threw such malicious looks your way. What had you ever done to deserve this?

The officers poked and prodded for some more time, and finally packed their papers and left. While you walked out of the interrogation room, your attorney asked you to join her for lunch. You attempted to decline; you weren’t in the mood for lunch. Or anything for that matter.

But you had nowhere to return to, except straight into Taehyung’s world. It was better to prolong the journey back. Besides, the attorney told you that she wanted to discuss a few case details with you over lunch. Automatically, your feet started following her.

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

The minute you sat down to lunch, you understood that it was a ruse. She neither ordered food for herself nor did she suggest you to. As soon as the waiter turned, she dipped her head low and spoke rapidly:

“I hear that they are bringing in a solid witness to testify against you.”

The surprise caught you off-guard.

“But I didn’t do anything. What is the person going to testify about?”

“That you knew Yoongi was mortgaging your property and you jumped on the opportunity to get the money.”

“But that’s insane! I never-“

There was a haughty roll of her eyes that sparked bitter anger in you. She looked at you as if you were kidding.

“Oh, come on, doll. You can tell me the truth. I’m the only person you can trust.”

Her judging gaze made you want to punch her in the face.

“You think I – I am guilty? You don’t trust me?” Your tone grew louder and a few people turned to glance at you. “Why the hell did you agree to defend me then?”

“Pipe down,” she hissed, looking around herself self-consciously. “They have a witness and a story that sounds better than yours.”

“And that means I’m guilty? Because my story sounds ridiculous?”

She shrugged as if she didn’t care. She took her phone out, swiping on it mindlessly. There was nothing except for the clink of glasses and cutlery around you before she spoke again.

“I want you to consider a plea deal.”

“And why would I, when I’m clearly not guilty?” You folded your hands defiantly, surveying her with a hard stare.

“This is not a simple Missing Person search. You are a person of interest in this case as a possible murderer.”

“They haven’t yet found the body.” Your tongue had a metallic taste when you uttered the word.

“Yet.” She let the words sink in. “But they have proof that you stole the money.”

“Stole? That’s my husband’s money! I was taking it to save him.”

“You know what, Y/N? This story is so silly. You are going overboard with the obsession angle.” She leaned back and lit a cigarette. “You know what really happened?”

She paused and exhaled smoke in your direction, tilting her head to look at you more closely.

“You knew your husband owed Kim Taehyung money. You urged him to mortgage your property. He was probably unwilling. So, you pledged all your property and got the money. The money was in your house. It was easy cash. Min Yoongi was anyway going to be penniless after that, so-“

“Stop it!” Your scream turned a lot of heads.

“Allow me to finish.”

“No, stop it! Stop it right now!”

She smirked lazily. “-So why lose the cash and end up with him? It’s easy, you killed him and took off with the money. You stashed the money and never intended to show up again. Not before someone reported Yoongi missing, that is.”

“It wasn’t like that! You are fucking wrong!”

She blew a smoke ring, not minding your distress in the least. “But that is what the prosecution is bringing to court. And they have a witness who saw you lugging all the money and fleeing the house in your nightclothes.” She paused to laugh. “Couldn’t wait to even get properly dressed?”

Her phone chimed, and she looked down. Just as quickly, she grabbed her coat and briefcase, making haste to get out. You stood up to follow, but she laid a hand on your shoulder and sat you down again.

“He’ll be coming now. Remember what I said, the prosecutor’s going to have a field day with your story.”

She was out of earshot even before you could frame the words: “He? Who?”

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

You knew who was walking towards you before you even saw his face. Him. The man who had killed your husband. The man who you were trying to prolong going back to. Kim Taehyung.

He weaved his way through the tables at the restaurant, reaching your side like a piece of metal drawn to a magnet. He took his Aviators off, mussing his dark bangs out of his eyes as he sat down opposite you.

You got up to leave, and his hand shot through the air to grip your forearm.

“Sit down, honey.” His face was open and pleasant, but his eyes were unreadable. “You haven’t had lunch yet.”

The grip tightened, and you settled back down, a scowl on your face as you did so. You never dulled your scorching glare while he called the waiter and ordered food. After the waiter left, he turned to you.

“It’s been two weeks since it happened, Y/N. How much longer do you want me to wait?”

Tears pricked your eyes. Two weeks before, you had kissed Yoongi in Taehyung’s basement for what you hadn’t known would be the last time ever. You had been taken to another cottage of Taehyung’s after it happened. You had refused to eat or talk; you had been consumed in grief. Suddenly, a day ago, Wo Bin had tossed you in a car, and he had dropped you off at a hotel room. That same afternoon, the cops had found you and taken you in for questioning.

“Y/N?” Taehyung’s deep voice broke into your thoughts. “I’m talking to you.”

“What do you want from me?”

“I want you.”

“I’d rather go to prison; I’ll at least be free from your clutches.”

He snickered, flashing a boxy smile at you. If you didn’t know better, you’d call that an innocent grin. He leaned towards you, the smile still turning up the corners of his mouth.

“You? In prison? Oh , baby, that’s not a place for a princess like you.” His gaze dropped down before he looked into your eyes again. “Especially a pregnant princess.”

He watched the way your face twisted. The waiter brought the food, laying down the plates swiftly before you. Taehyung smiled at him in amiable politeness, waited for him to leave and resumed without missing a beat:

“You will have to give birth in prison, you’ll lose your baby after 18 months anyway. You don’t have relatives, so your baby will most definitely go into the system for foster care. Do you want that?”

You had no answer. You hadn’t thought of it ever happening, to be honest.

“It’s also possible you’ll be sentenced to many long years in prison. By the time you get out, your baby would be an adult.”

He saw the way your lips trembled as you digested the facts he was presenting. He bent down and sipped a spoonful of his soup. You looked at his bent head, weighing your options.

“It’s better than-“

Before you could say any further, he cut you short, raising his hand.

“I must say I look forward to adopting your baby.”

He grinned smoothly as he saw you sputter in dismay. God, you were so cute.

“What? Why would you? You don’t care about Yoongi’s baby.”

“Well, true, but the baby is part bastard and part angel. I like to focus on the fact that half of you will be with me as I await your return.”

He slurped the noodles in his soup with a flourish. “I can pull some strings to get the baby assigned to me.” He wiped his mouth with a tissue delicately, watching you the entire time.

“Don’t make me hate you even more, Kim Taehyung.”

He reached over the table, trying to take your hand, but you flicked it away. He sighed and shook his head.

“Eat up, Y/N. That attorney of yours kept you waiting without even offering food.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. She was probably working for him. He seemed to have a lot of people wound around his little finger. Except you. You fell silent, eating without looking up once.

The table was silent until he cleared his throat.

“I want you to think all this through and decide if you want me to help you.”

You scoffed at him. “Help me? How? Do you own the Justice Department too?”

He looked unfazed. A tiny smile played on his lips. “Eat and we’ll talk at the hotel.”

You fell silent again, but the question wormed its way out of your mouth despite your control.

“Why am I staying in that hotel? You didn’t take me to your house.”

“Because you mortgaged your house, you ran away with the money, and I don’t know you apart from the occasional meetings in the elite parties. In the past, when poor Mr. Min was alive, of course.”

“You don’t know me? Are you fucking kidding me, Taehyung?”

His boxy smile returned. Though these were not exactly favorable circumstances, the fact that you were so prettily angry made his heart warm. You were mad at him because he said he didn’t know you? A small jealous part of his heart sang in joy. Even if those words were uttered with hate, he was certain you would love him if you got to know him better. Until then, the subtle undercurrent would have to suffice.

“Like I said, we’ll talk about this at the hotel, Y/N.”

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

When you reached the hotel room, Taehyung opened the door, motioning for you to go in.

“After you, my darling.”

Once you were inside, he took off your coat, brushing his fingers against your bare arms, his fingertips leaving goosebumps in their wake. You could hear him sigh heavily behind you, and you spun around to face him.

“Get on with it.”

He raised his eyebrows in mock surprise. “You mean, get on with making love to you?”

You swatted the hand that was ghosting your shoulder, your tone drenched in spite.

“You know what I meant, Taehyung. What the hell were you talking about at the restaurant?”

He pouted his lips and his face fell. “Oh. That.” He sighed again, walking over to the bed.

He sat down, patting the bed to indicate that you were supposed to sit down too. When you didn’t comply, he yanked you by the arm, making you sit in his lap. A hand reached to your side to pinch you in case you squirmed. By then, you knew better than to resist. He rested the side of his head on your shoulder, whistling softly.

“Baby, you’re going to be sent away for a long time.”

“For what? Don’t play your games with me, Kim Taehyung.”

He turned you so you were facing him. There was animation in his eyes, so unlike the usual blank stare. It looked almost as if he were sad.

“You’re going to be tried for the murder of your husband.”

You tried to jump up, and a sharp pinch stilled you into position. “But I didn’t kill him.”

He used his free hand to brush away the tears, his touch feathery light and exceptionally gentle.

“Even if they don’t find the body, there’s a lot of evidence for reasonable doubt, and that’s enough for the jury.”

A sudden tic made your lips tremble. He held you patiently, waiting for it to subside.

“What evidence?”

His eyes softened.

“Some blood. DNA.” He watched your expression as he added: “The fact that you mortgaged the property, got the money, and fled.”

“But I didn’t-” Your brows furrowed for a second before it struck you. “Bong Ju.”

He nodded without answering. He watched you work things out in your mind. He always admired your smartness. But after Yoongi died, you had become kind of slow at thinking through stuff. He wished you would get better quickly so he could pounce on you.

“So, what happens next? You kill my husband, put me in prison, and then take my child?”

He didn’t say anything, quietly looking at the beaded tears on the corners of your eyes.

“I can help you. I can make it all go away.”

Something made you squirm on his lap. To your utter horror, you discovered what it was. You hit his jaw, making him gasp. Pushing yourself off of his lap, you screamed, boiling with rage.

“You’re hard? This is making you hard? What kind of sick bastard are you?”

The scream didn’t have any effect on him. He kept staring at you, eyes burning with primal hunger. Watching you stand before him, face red in anger and nose flaring, made him feel things.

His voice was soft, almost inaudible. “You do that to me.” He reached out to grasp your hand again, and pulled you down so you were almost straddling him.

“Listen Y/N. You have made me wait long enough. I will say this only once, so you better pay attention.”

You struggled in his arms, trying to get away from him. But a hand firmly cupped your jaw and pulled you close to his face.

“Fucking. Listen.”

You nodded wordlessly, and he relaxed his hold on your jaw.

“Two scenarios. One, plead guilty and go to prison. They’ll try you for the murder too. Two, plead innocent and still go to prison. I’ve planted enough evidence to support both scenarios. And you’ll lose the baby in both cases.”

He looked at you chastely, eyes wide and sincere.

“I have both the prosecutor and the defense attorney ready to handle it either way. Any proof of your innocence turns up, your attorney will quash it down. She is very thorough. Your friend Jung Hoseok is already being watched.”

“You bought both the prosecutor and the attorney?”

“Money, baby. It’s what drives them all.”

“And? You want me to dance to your tune, don’t you? What is it?”

He smiled again, and the smile reached his eyes.

“Three, you walk away from all this. Innocent. Your baby lives.”

“In exchange for what?”

His eyes sparkled, and his hands softly squeezed the side of your hips.

“Marry me.”

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

“What do you want, Se Jong?”

The man perched on the hood of the car didn’t flinch.

Wo Bin exhaled in irritation. He had other pressing matters to deal with. He had errands to run for his boss. The white folded paper was still in his pocket, making his mind itch to get on with it. The boss had given him the paper and asked him to find the man matching what was written on it. Strange order, but his boss probably had his reasons. He shook the thoughts away and focused on the man who was eating his time.

“Unlike you, I have work to do, Se Jong. Spit it out.”

The man addressed as Se Jong shrugged his shoulders, leaning back lazily on the car’s windshield.

“I don’t know man.”

Wo Bin ground his teeth.

“Why did you ask to meet me then?���

“I want more.”

“You already get more than enough.”

“Not as much as you do.”

Wo Bin’s nose flared. Having served in the military, it always hurt his pride to be compared to a civilian goon.

“I am not a bank robber like you, Se Jong. You’re not even a good shot. It’s a mystery why the boss still has you around.”

It was already a known fact that Kim Taehyung only employed the best of the best.  Wo Bin often wondered what a dimwit like Se Jong was doing in his Taehyung’s fleet.

“Banker. How do you think the boss stashes his money if he doesn’t have people in the bank pulling strings for him?”

“Get to the point, Jong.”

“I said it already I want more. I want you to talk to the boss for me.”

“Consider it never done.”

Wo Bin turned his back and stormed away, leaving the man on the car seething in anger. Little did he know that Se Jong wasn’t as harmless as he seemed.

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

The courtroom was jam-packed. Your attorney had told you that the first sitting was just to warm the jury up to the facts of the case. But the sheer number of people in the gallery made you feel intimidated. Well, it was a case concerning the Min family. More importantly, Min Yoongi’s wife was on trial.

The prosecutor, Kang Minsook, made his opening statements, addressing the jury and accusing you of grand larceny. You watched on, neurons firing in your brain, as the prosecutor spun a splendidly woven tale of how you married Yoongi for money, felt cheated when he fell into debt, decided it was time to take the money for yourself, and fled.

Kim Taehyung was seated in the spectator area, dressed in his best of blacks, watching on as the prosecutor piled wrong information, wrapping up the lies smoothly with a few bits of truth so that it looked dirty, but believably so.

Your attorney made her opening statements, but they fell flat in front of the prosecutor’s powerful story of lies. One glance at the jury told you that none of them were buying the version of the case that the defense was presenting.

The judge turned to you.

“Mrs. Min, in this accusation of grand larceny, how do you plead?”

Your eyes swept over the jury. No soft glances were aimed towards you. You then looked at Taehyung, sitting with an air of regality as if he were presiding over the courtroom. Stretching yourself to your full height, you replied quietly:

“Not guilty, your Honor.”

A smile slowly spread across Taehyung’s lips.

The prosecutor was on his feet as soon as he got permission to start.

“I’d like to call the prosecution’s first witness, your Honor.”

You strained to see who was the witness. A tall man you knew only too well rose from the bench and took the witness stand. It was surely not the bald man you were expecting to see.

“Mr. Kim, please state your name and occupation for the sake of the court.”

The man looked straight ahead, flexing the muscles in his jaw. It made him look arrogant, giving off vibes of a man not to be messed with.

“I am Kim Namjoon. I’m the Executive Director of Park and Kim Motors Inc.”

“And how were you related to Mr. Min?”

“We were family friends.”

“Please elaborate on the nature of your relationship, Mr. Kim.”

The witness gazed at Minsook, and suddenly his eyes wore a brooding look.

“Min Yoongi and I were friends through our parents’ societal ties. I used to play Chess every evening with Yoongi before he got engaged.”

“So, your friendship with Mr. Min goes long back.” The prosecutor stopped to wipe his spectacles, leaving you wondering what he was up to.

“May I ask, Mr. Kim, as to why you stopped playing Chess with Mr. Min after his engagement?”

Your counsel shot to her feet.

“Objection, your Honor. The prosecutor is wasting the court’s time with irrelevant questions.”

Minsook looked at the judge with surprised eyes.

“But it is a relevant question, your Honor.”

“Overruled.”

Smiling broadly in a way that made your insides turn, the man turned again to his witness.

“Well, Mr. Kim?”

Kim Namjoon stared at you, so much malice concentrated in his eyes.

“His fiancée didn’t want me spending too much time with Yoongi.”

There was a pause. And then with a condescending tone, the next question was thrown:

“Maybe there was an innocent reason, Mr. Kim? Maybe the defendant wanted all the attention to herself?”

Once again, your counsel stood up with a loud “Objection, speculation, your Honor.”

“Sustained.”

With a wicked grin, the prosecutor threw a careless apology to the judge, looking at the witness expectantly.

“I don’t know. But now I know she wasn’t as innocent as she seemed.”

“Why exactly do you say that, Mr. Kim?”

Namjoon glared at you again.

“She didn’t even bother to search for Yoongi. She ran away.”

The prosecutor took a sealed evidence bag in his hand, turning so he was facing both the witness and the jury.

“And who filed the Missing Person report about Mr. Min?”

“I did. She didn’t. Because she was too busy counting the money.”

“Objection!”

“The prosecution will advise their witness not to make assumptive statements.”

But the damage had already been done.

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

You sat and listened as your husband’s best friend told the court how Yoongi had been increasingly agitated in the months prior to his disappearance.

“He was in so much trouble, it was clear as day,” he said.

“And did he tell you what was bothering him, Mr. Kim?”

Namjoon clenched his jaw again. “He was missing his mother very badly.”

The wicked gleam in Minsook’s eyes returned.

“What happened to his mother, Mr. Kim?”

“His mother had been institutionalized. His wife and mother were not on good terms. It broke Yoongi’s heart to part with his mother like that.”

“So, Mr. Min’s wife sent her mother-in-law away?”

The jury watched Namjoon affirm that with a curt “Yes.” Your attorney made no attempt to object. Things were beginning to look dark for you.

“Why do you think the elder Mrs. Min was sent away, Mr. Kim?”

The judge waited for your counsel to object citing speculation. But she made no move. With a withering glance, the judge advised the defense to not indulge in speculation.

The question was rephrased with a sly grin.

“What did Mr. Min tell you about his mother being sent away?”

Namjoon looked at the jury with sincere eyes.

“He said that his wife was in danger because of his mother. Mrs. Min accused her mother-in-law of trying to stab her with a knife.”

“Did Mr. Min say that the accusation was correct?”

“He only arrived in time to separate them. So, there’s no proof of who instigated the fight.”

Your palms started sweating. A delicate web of lies was being spun around you, and the spider at the center of it all sat watching with quiet enthusiasm.

“Did you know that Mr. Min was in huge financial debt?”

Taehyung watched the witness shake his head, followed by a curt “No.” He slid his hand to his pocket where his phone buzzed. There was a single message on the notification shade.

“Done.”

He looked back at the man who was talking, turning his phone’s display off and allowing himself a smile.

The prosecutor was going on.

“Why didn’t Mr. Min confide in you, if you were such close friends? He could have even borrowed from you.”

Namjoon shifted in his seat, his thick brows crumpling slightly as he processed the question.

“I don’t remember exactly, but I heard in passing that his wife shopped extravagantly. I assume it was his wife who wrung him dry. So, he was probably unable to confide in me about his wife.”

The prosecutor beamed.

“Naturally.”

Your attorney interrupted with an objection citing speculation, which was sustained.

At that, the prosecutor produced another plastic bag of evidence.

“These are the receipts that prove Mrs. Min purchased exquisite jewels, your Honor.” He flourished the bag at the jury, eyes bright with emotion. “Each purchase cost more than the previous one, amounting to millions of dollars.”

Wearing a proud smile, the prosecutor thanked the witness and gave your attorney the nod to cross-examine the witness. The woman slowly got up, adjusting her robes as she approached the witness box.

“Let me start with the easiest question, Mr. Kim.” Her face took on an innocent expression. “Wasn’t Mr. Min already very rich? Why would he ever get into debt? He already owned the Min Group.”

Namjoon looked at her in confusion. “He didn’t own the Min Group. His father did.”

“The late Mr. Min?”

“Yes. Yoongi was only the executive director of the Min Group until his father died.”

You watched your attorney look suddenly uncomfortable. You didn’t understand the need for this line of questioning. The jury looked confused too. Until the next question tore through the silence.

“How did the late Mr. Min die, Mr. Kim?”

“He was involved in a car accident. He died of multiple organ failure.”

“So, both of Mr. Min’s parents were out of the picture shortly after he married the defendant?”

You couldn’t believe your ears. Was your own attorney suggesting that-?

“Yes.” Namjoon’s voice interrupted the thoughts racing through your mind.

The judge looked sharply at your counsel. Was she out of her mind, to hand such an insinuating lead to the prosecution?

“Are you going anywhere with this, counsel?”

Your attorney nervously bit her lip.

“No, your honor.”

She turned to Namjoon.

“Couldn’t the defendant have purchased the jewels even when the elder Mr. Min was alive?”

Namjoon wondered if this woman had even researched her case properly. What kind of attorney gave away their client like this in court? He looked at you, weighing his words.

“Mr. Min handled all the finance of the Min family. Yoongi could have bought her the jewels, yes, but his father had to okay any big expenses he made.”

“I see. Thank you, Mr. Kim.”

Namjoon was excused from the witness stand. You were in utter disbelief. You were being framed. By your own attorney. Taehyung was right. You were going to prison.

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

 You couldn’t bring yourself to munch the sandwich that was before you. It was court recess, and your attorney was by your side, eating busily. She was completely oblivious of your apparent resentment towards her.

“How could you give me away like that?”

She looked up; eyebrows raised.

“Like what?”

You had to control yourself from shouting at the top of your lungs. Clutching the table hard, you rocked yourself, trying to be calm.

“You almost accused me of killing my father-in-law.”

She rolled her eyes with a blank “Eh.” On seeing you intensify the burning stare; she grumblingly munched the last bit of her steak.

“You’re already on your way to prison, dearie. Nothing I say or don’t is gonna help you.”

“You are my fucking lawyer!”

A few lawyers seated on the adjacent table murmured in disapproval in your general direction.

“Mind your fucking business!” You shouted at them, eyes blazing in anger. The woman clucked her tongue in disapproval.

“That temper won’t help. Don’t incriminate yourself even more. I did tell you to accept a plea deal, Y/N.”

Three tables away from yours, Kang Minsook was seated with his associates, deep in discussion.

“Something about this case makes me feel weird,” an associate was saying. “Why would the defense point out the senior Mr. Min’s accident? It only makes sense if we do. What is that attorney up to?”

Far back in the cafeteria, Taehyung sipped a cold strawberry milkshake as he watched you. Ugh. He had to endure the disgusting milkshake just for you. For you. Yes, he would do anything for you. But the obvious artificial strawberry flavoring was almost too much. You would pay later for making him drink such cheap stuff.

As his juniors droned on about the case, Minsook glanced over at your gloomy figure staring down at the table. It made him wonder how you were going to handle what was coming next.

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

You were sure you were going to be called up for cross-examination as soon as the court was in session. Bunching the hem of your skirt tight, you bent your head in apprehension. They were going to call out your name. They were going to prove that you killed Yoongi. They were going to send you to prison. Your knuckles tightened around the fabric, the dampness of your palm transferring onto it.

“The prosecution summons Mr. Kim Taehyung, your Honor.”

All the fear in the world rolled into one tight ball that got caught in your throat. Taehyung was going to testify?

The black-haired man took confident strides as he made his way to the witness stand. Everything about him suggested a successful, genuine, and well-respected man. The ladies in the gallery murmured about how rare it was to see not one but two families in the elite circle pitted against each other. The thumping of your heart was so loud and deafening. Taehyung composed himself with a sincere look in his dark eyes.

“Please state your name and occupation for the sake of the court.”

He raked his eyes through the jury. “I am Kim Taehyung. I am the CEO of Kim Automotive LLC.”

Minsook considered the witness carefully.

“What kind of relationship do you have with the Min family?”

“We were both rich families.” Taehyung masked the bitterness in his voice. “We met at social gatherings.”

“Do you know the defendant?”

“Yes.” The answer was abrupt, leaving unsaid words hanging in the air. The prosecutor pressed on.

“How do you know her?”

Taehyung batted his thick eyelashes innocently, looking square into the eyes of Minsook.

“She came to me trying to pledge the Min estate.”

There was a sharp gasp from the spectators and the low murmuring started to grow louder before the judge pounded his gavel.

The prosecutor waited for all the hushed voices to completely dribble down into sharp silence before asking the burning question:

“The defendant sought you out by herself?”

You closed your eyes lest someone see the beaded drops that were threatening to fall. All the memories of what happened half an hour ago flashed in your mind in full throttle.

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

You had been walking back to the benches outside the courtroom, when a man bumped into you, causing you to gasp out loud. As you clutched your shoulder and glared crossly at the retreating figure, you noticed chewing gum on your suit. Wincing in disgust, you tried to peel it off when you noticed a small neatly folded bit of paper sticking to it. You opened it, only to find four words written on the slip.

‘Barristers’ chambers No. 3. -KTH’

Turning just in time, your eyes caught Taehyung as he slowly watched you and walked ahead, leading the way.

── ⋆✩⋆ ──

“Well, sugar? Ready to change your mind yet?” were the words that greeted you upon entering the chambers.

The blinds were drawn, lending a dark ambiance to the room. Taehyung was half-leaning on the table, supporting the weight of his body on both his arms. He watched you, fascinated by the pencil skirt and the tailored suit jacket that fit you so well. It was a shame that you had to go through all the court drama. The worry on your forehead made him want to reach over and kiss all the tension away. Only if you let him. He sighed.

He pushed himself off the table, reaching you in determined strides, his face alight with emotion. With an arrogant flick of his wrist, he crooned in his deep voice:

“20 more minutes before the court is in session, darling.”

His long fingers gripped your jacket, pulling you into his chest. The fingers roamed on your person, finding purchase at the nape of your neck. The heat of his body accompanied by the firm grip of his fingers left you frozen in place.

Taehyung rang his tongue over his upper lip, curling his mouth in a suggestive smirk.

“So, yes or no?”

“I- How can you make it all go away?” your voice came in a bare whisper.

“Baby, I always get my way. Do you still doubt what I’m capable of?”

He nuzzled his forehead against yours, sighing deeply in content. His eyes fluttered closed, the steady rise and fall of his chest falling in rhythm with yours.

“So? What is it? Endure me, or spend a lifetime in prison wondering what I did with your child?”

“Plea-“

His finger shushed your lips, stopping you from saying anything he didn’t want to hear. His eyes were still closed, but there was a soft smile kindling in the corners of his lips.

“18 minutes left, Y/N. Say it. Yes or No?”

Your mind was a maze of emotions. Say yes and live with Taehyung? The man who killed your husband? You’d have to be insane to do that. Say no and go to prison? What would you do without your baby? Why did all of this happen? Where exactly did you go wrong? Why were you trapped in a room with your husband’s killer draped all over your bosom?

“15 minutes.”

A giant sob rocked your body, tears streaming down your face as you spat it out:

“Yes.”

His eyes opened slowly, a euphoric smile making his face glow in radiance. You could have sworn there was a glossy film on his eyes that suspiciously resembled tears.

“Oh Y/N. I love you.”

He peppered soft kisses on your cheeks and nose, leaning back reflexively at the wetness of your cheeks.

“Why the tears, my sweet?” He brushed the trickling tears with the tip of his thumb. “Anyone would think you hate the idea of marrying me.”

When he didn’t get a reply, his eyes went from soft to dangerous in one quick flash. He leaned over you so that you were arching yourself backward, his hand supporting the small of your back securely. He made as if to kiss your jaw, but flicked his tongue out instead. His hot tongue swept over the trail left by the tears, licking your face from jaw to cheekbone in one long stroke.

His other hand gripped your squirming hips hard, the dangerous glint was fixated on your pupils as he continued his stroke above your eyes, stopping only momentarily when your eyes fluttered at the wet feeling of your lashes. He finished the trail at your eyebrow, landing a soft kiss on the arch of your eyebrow.

“No makeup,” he observed, looking deep into your eyes. “And just as beautiful as always. Delicious too. Pity you didn’t wear lipstick; I’d have loved to have your lip prints on my cock.”

His grip of your waist loosened, and you pushed yourself upright, shuddering all over. You tried to wipe off his saliva with the sleeve of your jacket, but his hand stopped you with a harsh jolt.

“Never, remember, never wipe off anything I give you.”

You glared at him, the sticky wetness still bothering you.

“You disgust me, Kim Taehyung.”

His eyes crinkled in delight. “Aw, I love you too, darling.”

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

Taehyung considered the question, ruminating on his thoughts.

“Yes.”

Minsook chose his words carefully.

“Can you tell the court what Mrs. Min said, Mr. Kim?”

“She said ‘My husband is in debt and I want to mortgage our property. He doesn’t want anyone to know, so I came to you instead of going to his friends.’ She looked very upset. “

“And you didn’t talk to Mr. Min about this before agreeing to the request?”

Taehyung looked annoyed.

“I trusted Mrs. Min’s words.” It looked like referring to you by that title made him sick. “I didn’t want her husband to feel uncomfortable, especially because she said that he wanted it to be discreet.”

You felt bile rising to your chest as you watched the bastard stack lie upon lie as if it were the easiest thing in the world.

Minsook considered the witness closely before asking his next question.

“Do you have witnesses to corroborate your story, Mr. Kim?”

Taehyung simply smiled, his eyes briefly flitting over to you. He ran his tongue over his lips as if your taste was still on them.

“At least twenty of my staff were present when she arrived at my mansion.”

Wrong. There were more than 50 guys that day when you went to him, dragging a suitcase in your pajamas. Of course, they would testify against you. The case was going to be a nightmare to get out of.

Taehyung was excused in haste. Turning to the judge, Minsook spoke so fast that you almost couldn’t keep up with his flow.

“Your Honor, the state pleads more time to prove that the accused mortgaged the Min property, took the money- “he glanced at the jury with emotion “-and killed her husband to get rid of liabilities. We have enough evidence for reasonable doubt.”

He appealed to the jury with strong words, trying to rock them in his favor.

“An innocent man loses all his money, his wife flees, she never reports him missing, his house is a bloody mess, with blood matching his DNA all over the place. The police found one airplane ticket in the defendant’s personal effects. Just one. Not two, if she is to be believed.”

He let the magnitude of his allusion sink in before throwing the next bombshell.

“As the defense uncovered, the elder Mr. and Mrs. Min were conveniently removed from the defendant’s life. The defense also confirmed that the defendant alleged that her mother-in-law was a threat to her life and sent her away. This raises doubt into the elder Mr. Min’s tragic accident.”

You were shocked into silence; the pain was overwhelming. You felt like you were floating above your body, detached and dead from all the pain and hurt.

Minsook was going on.

“While we can’t definitively prove that the defendant was involved in it, we do have the responsibility of looking keenly into the case at hand to make sure that justice is served.”

There was a brief interruption as the side doors opened, and a man walked in, making straight to your attorney. He handed her a package, whispering into her ear. She immediately stood up and asked for permission to speak. All eyes were on her, and no one noticed the brief looks exchanged between Taehyung and the mysterious messenger. Except you, of course.

“Your Honor, the defense wishes to continue this hearing in camera.”

The judge peered over his glasses at the counsel.

“What is the necessity for it, please?”

You saw the defense attorney wave the package at the jury, addressing the judge and jury at the same time.

“We have proof that Min Yoongi is alive.”

What? You gasped in shock, the news bringing you back to reality and grounding you. The brief respite was replaced with deep hurt when you looked at Taehyung. His single raised eyebrow uttered the unsaid. He had gotten his way. Just like he had said he would.

A loud babble of voices broke out in the spectators’ area, the droning of voices so loud that the judge pounded the gavel furiously.

“And what proof is there to confirm this news?”

Your attorney passed a few pieces of paper over to the clerk.

“These are Min Yoongi’s shell company records that prove that he is in possession of the 50 million dollars, your Honor.” She passed on more papers. “This flight manifest shows that a passenger named Soo Yeongguk was on board, carrying a passport with the same name.”

“And?”

“These surveillance camera pictures show that it was Mr. Min who used a fake passport in the name of Soo Yeongguk to flee the country.”

Minsook sputtered, “But Your Honor, the blood and DNA,” he was wringing his hands, “He couldn’t have flown with those injuries.”

It was explained away by the defense as non-conclusive.

“Mr. Min could have easily planted his blood just like he did everything else to frame his wife, your Honor. There is no hard evidence that he bled to death. Or even died, for that matter.”

“Why has the defense wasted the court’s valuable time when all these facts were already known?”

“We only got confirmation of the false identity a few minutes ago, your Honor.”

The judge rose up to stand, and immediately the whole courtroom followed suit.

“This will be further discussed in camera.”

The judge turned and left, and both the prosecution and defense scurried to fetch their documents and hastened to the judge’s chambers. The bailiff escorted the jury and left.

There was pandemonium and confusion after they left. People were restless, talking in hushed tones about all the drama that had just happened. As for you, it was pure shock that kept you standing on your feet. Shock at how easily justice has been swayed.

It felt like you were treading clouds when you were taken into the judge’s chambers. How could they have cooked up all the proof? You saw your husband’s death with your own eyes. Was there not an inkling of sunshine at the end of the tunnel? Not a drop of justice in the universe?

You felt numb and empty as you stood watching the judge reprimand your counsel for wasting the court’s time and resources. He also fined the defense. You weren’t listening. You didn’t care. Because you were declared innocent. And condemned to marry Taehyung.

You didn’t stay back to see Taehyung and the judge shake hands in solidarity. Nor did you hear Taehyung whisper:

“Good show. Expect the money in one hour.”

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

The cold water pricking your skin did nothing to assuage the hurt eating away at your heart. The incessant flashes of the cameras as you exited the courtrooms, the reporters calling your name out, the overpowering smell of sweat and stale coffee, everything came back with such force that you squatted in the shower, hugging yourself.

You had come back to the hotel alone. No Taehyung. Because he apparently ‘didn’t know you that much.’ Snake. And you couldn’t find a way to escape him. He had kept his side of the bargain. You had to keep yours. The cold water was a far better company than the man outside your door.

“Y/N!” The knocks on the bathroom door were growing impatient. “Come on out already.”

You looked at the flimsy contraption that was dividing you and him. You had to go out. He couldn’t be avoided forever.

“Want me to break the damn door?” The deep voice hollered in irritation.

Taehyung couldn’t wait to see you. You were now his. No force on Earth could take you away from him. Not on his watch. He had already received a text from Wo Bin. So that matter had been taken care of. He was in a jubilant mood.

The lock clicked, and you emerged, wrapped in the hotel’s complimentary white bathrobe. Taehyung thought that he had never seen anything so beautiful in his life. Wet hair clumped in loose coils around your shoulders, slowly dripping water on the robe. His heart sang, believing that you had been cleansed of Min Yoongi and his touches. You looked angelic; damp body covered in nothing but a robe. A strange feeling raged up from his gut, catching in his throat and smothering him in emotion.

His hand reached you as if it had a mind of its own. The fabric was rough. Wouldn’t it chafe your delicate skin? He balled his fist to contain his annoyance. His slender fingers bunched around the sash, pulling you into his arms. He gasped at how cold you were.

“You’re so cold, Y/N.”

Your face was blank. He got no response. Tracing his steps backward, he landed on the bed, pulling you into his lap.

“So cold,” he repeated again, gently nudging the robe away from your shoulder blades to press soft kisses. You squirmed, and he didn’t like it.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he snapped, cupping your jaw.

The hurt was too much and you broke.

“It’s- I – Yoongi.”

He held you in his arms, waiting for the violent sobs to subside, gently shushing you. He didn’t like that you were still thinking of Yoongi. But he had foreseen this. And he had already made arrangements.

“What about Yoongi, baby?”

You sniffed, unsure if you were supposed to tell him. Hell, what else did you have to lose?

“He- I- “More sobs and hiccups before you continued: “-I want to see him.”

He blew out his cheeks softly.

“And what good will that do?”

He attempted to wipe your tears, but you slapped his hand away.

“I’m his wife.”

“Not anymore. He’s dead.”

The words twisted into your heart like a cold iron dagger. The fighter in you returned with a vengeance.

“But Yoongi is alive. At least legally. You just proved that in court.”

He chuckled, the vibrations of his chest transferring onto your own body, sweeping you into the reverberation too.

“Yes. And unfortunately, he died an hour ago.”

You tried to push yourself off him in vain. The hold grew tight, and his eyes became harder. Your voice broke again.

“What do you mean?”

He cradled your head into the crook of his neck, and you revolted angrily by hitting his jaw and pulling back.

“Tell me, you fucking prick!”

He grinned, his irises dark, the danger swimming in them climbing out and coloring his features with malice.

“You’ll find out yourself.”

He sat motionless, looking into your eyes, as you hurled cuss words at him, shaking his shoulders, demanding an answer. You grew tired eventually, and stopped your tirade, choosing to go silent instead.

It was all quiet in the room, with Taehyung holding you in his lap, sniffing your wet hair, when the ringing of a cell phone screeched and cut the silence. The sound was coming from his pocket.

“Take it,” he urged, his voice dark and mysterious. “It’s for you.”

Grimacing, you dug your fingers into his pockets, scowling when he moaned at your touch. Upon finding the phone, you accepted the call and breathed out a shaky “Hello?”

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

“I don’t have the faintest idea why Yoongi did this,” Mrs. Park said, dabbing her eyes as she patted your hand. “He was such a good boy.” She shook her head sadly. “Maybe I didn’t know him that well after all.”

To say that her words amplified your hurt would be an understatement. You were surrounded by people who were willing to believe that Yoongi had deserted you, ending up dead by a twist of fate. Your Yoongi would never do that. Never.  Yet, the groups of people clustered in the hall seemed to think otherwise.

You looked around at the familiar yet strange faces. Did any of them even care? You thought not. And yet again, the man who destroyed your husband made his appearance, weaving his way through the flood of faces.

“My heartfelt condolences, Mrs. Min.”

You shook your hand free from his clasp. The venomous anger bubbling inside you made you choke on your words as you bit out a forced “Thank you, Mr. Kim.”

“Talk about Karma,” he went on, unmindful of your hostile countenance. “He left you desolate and Karma caught up with him.”

Before you could snap, Mrs. Park nodded her head, acknowledging his words.

“Mr. Kim is right, child. Yoongi got into trouble because he left you. No decent man fakes his death and pins the blame on his wife.”

She became agitated, the sorrow of losing her best friend’s son hitting her hard.

“I wish he hadn’t gotten involved with the mafia, though. He might have come back to you. Alas.”

More tears welled up in your eyes as you listened to Mrs. Park. How you wished you could scream that Yoongi was dead only because of Taehyung!

“I’ll call on Sung-Hee at the Klammer when I leave.” She patted your shoulder delicately.

You nodded with a soft whisper: “Please give her my love.”

Kim Namjoon had come to bid his friend farewell. He was silent as he surveyed the closed coffin, his jaw clenching and unclenching as he controlled his choked emotions. He paused to hiss in your ear when he was leaving:

“You killed him, bitch.”

The funeral was very difficult to get through. People kept walking up to you, expressing their disappointment at the way your husband had met his death. And all the while the killer stood at a corner of the hall, not caring in the least about the gross injustice Min Yoongi was being subjected to, even in his death.

When everyone left, you were standing alone in the hall, working up the heart to bid goodbye to the love of your life. Taehyung had left long ago, playing his part of an innocent visitor.

Your fingers traced the wood, feeling the ridges and following the embossed floral patterns. It was going to be very hard. Biting your lip to contain the trembling, you slid a finger under the coffin lid.

“I would advise against that.”

You looked up with a start. It was him again. You glared at him as your fingers pried under the lid again. He stepped forward with an urgent whisper.

“Y/N, don’t.”

You had already seen the worst happen right before your eyes. What more would frighten you?

Taehyung wasn’t fast enough, and you had already screamed and leaped back when he arrived at your side.

“I told you not to.” His arms embraced you, holding you tight while you continued screaming your heart out. You turned on him with vengeful fury, hitting his chest, throwing a volley of punches with your balled fists. He let you punch him, not even trying to shield himself.

When you were spent from all the screaming and punching, he hugged you as softly as he could.

“I hired the best mortician. But-” he sighed heavily “-yeah; Min still looks bad.”

He was met with no response. He continued hugging you, rubbing soft circles on your back.

“But-”

He bent down to look at your red eyes. “Hm?”

“Where’s his…” You swallowed the lump in your throat. “… his wedding ring?”

Taehyung shrugged his shoulders.

“I don’t know.”

It didn’t matter. You knew that the man inside the coffin was Yoongi. You would recognize those fingers from anywhere. Those long beautiful fingers that had traced lines of love on your skin ever so often. He was indeed gone.

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

Taehyung was silent as he watched the numbers on the elevator as it climbed up to his penthouse office. It had been three days since he had last seen you. You were at his mansion, alright, but you had locked yourself in a room and had refused to come out. He hadn’t seen you ever since the funeral. He idly wondered if you were still wearing the black dress from that evening. A small conscious cough interrupted his thought train.

So Na Yeon, his personal secretary, nervously fished in her pocket for a kerchief. “Please excuse me.”

He didn’t react. The top two buttons of her blouse were undone. Her lipstick was a shade too bright for his taste. She was interesting to look at. But no one could ever match to you. And thus, he found himself thinking of you yet again.

When the elevator dinged and opened, she followed Taehyung briskly, sailing into his office right behind him. She waited for him to be seated, and then got on with briefing him about his appointments for the day. But when Taehyung waved her away, she remained in place, biting her lip anxiously.  

“Well?”

She creased her forehead, deciding if she should tell him.

“Mr. Wo Bin reported that one of the men is rebelling, sir.”

“In what way?”

“It appears that he asked for a raise and Mr. Bin turned him down.”

“What did Bin say about it?”

She shook her head.

“He said that the man isn’t good enough and that he’s already a waste of your money.”

Taehyung lost interest. He wanted to get his work done with so he could think of you more.

“If Bin said so, I don’t doubt his opinion. Tell him to handle the guy in whichever way he sees fit.”

“Yes, sir.”

She turned and left. And Taehyung noticed her short business skirt for the first time. She seemed really proud of her figure. And then she faded out and his mind wandered to you once again.

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

You could hear him fiddling with the doorknob. You knew he had a master key. You had expected to see him break into the room angrily as soon as you had slammed yourself in. But Taehyung did nothing of that sort.

Every morning, before he left, he would try the doorknob. Every evening, as soon as he arrived, he would do it again. There would be heavy sighs outside the door and he’d leave. It was like a ritual, and it went on for six days since the funeral.

On the seventh day, however, he lost his patience. He had waited and given you time to come back to him. He wanted you to walk into his arms willingly. But his patience was wearing thin.

“Open the door.”

He was pressing his forehead against the wood, gritting his teeth in suppressed anger. When there was no sound of movement, his voice rose to a high growl.

“I said open! Now!”

His large palms made contact with the wood as he pounded on the door. Suddenly, the door gave way and opened, the darkness inside the room making it hard for him to see you. It didn’t help that you were wearing black too. At last, he made out your outline.

He reached over to flick the light on, and gasped as soon as the light hit you. There were deep dark circles under your eyes. The straps of the dress were loose and ready to fall from your shoulders.

“God, Y/N, you look like Death.”

He cautiously approached forward, running his eyes over the clavicles that were jutting out sharply.

“It’s been six days. Seven, almost.” He took your hand, pressing it gently. “Come out.”

“No.”

Your voice was so low that he tilted his head to catch the words.

“You need to eat.”

“No.”

He tugged on your hand hard, anger rising in his chest.

“It’s not good for- ” he eyed your belly, “-that thing inside you.”

Hatred lit a spark in your blank eyes.

“It’s a baby,” you hissed, pushing against his chest with all your might. “It’s Min Yoongi’s baby.”

“Yeah, whatever. Do you want it to die? Come out and fucking eat.”

The glaring eyes were better than the blank ones, he noted. He liked you better when you were all animated and furious.

“I wasn’t starving myself. The mini-fridge…“

“I don’t think fruit would nourish your bastard enough. Stop arguing and come out.”

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

Taehyung knew the answer before he even asked the question out loud.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

You were dressed in a soft cashmere sweater and jeans. Yoongi used to love that sweater. He would always comment on how it made you look like a fairy cloud.

Taehyung knew the clothes only too well. He had seen you wear the sweater on multiple dates with Yoongi while he was following you around. It made him mad to see you still dressing up for him.

You didn’t even turn his way, throwing the answer at him sullenly:

“My husband’s grave.”

Taehyung leaned back on the sofa, propping his legs up on the coffee table.

“And who exactly is buried there?”

You turned and stared at him, confused.

“Min Yoongi?”

Taehyung chuckled heartily, crossing his arms and gazing fondly at you.

“Oh honey, how naïve you are!”

“What do you mean?” Anxiety pooled in your chest as he continued chuckling without answering.

He took his sweet time to answer, leaving you standing puzzled.

“Do you honestly think I’d let you visit that bastard in his grave, Y/N? Just so you can make him a martyr? Do you think I’m a fool?”

“What- what do you mean?��� you repeated again, feeling your chest tighten.

“He isn’t buried there. There’s another dead guy matching his description buried in his stead.”

“But- the coffin-“

“Oh, yeah it was him in the coffin, all right.” He yawned lazily. “Switched bodies on the way to the cemetery.”

He watched all the emotions flashing on your face, the quiver of your lips, the unblinking eyes as you grasped all the information he had just stated. Finally, a cold blank stare replaced the myriad of emotions that had lit up your face. Slowly, you walked back into the bedroom, locking yourself shut. Taehyung sighed deeply. You were finally his.

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

It was obvious to Taehyung that you were suffering him just for the sake of your baby. It was bittersweet to him that the only reason you would stay alive was Yoongi’s child growing inside you. He wished fervently to get rid of that tiny Min seed, but he knew the aftermath would be disastrous.

You talked to him in barbed tones only if it was absolutely necessary. The rest of the time, it was as if he was invisible to you. He had forced you to sleep in the master bedroom with him. But it hurt him to see the wide gap in the sheets between him and you every night.

Sometimes, he would turn in his sleep and a finger would brush against you. And he’d stay wide awake watching you huddle on the corner of the bed, sobbing quietly. It became increasingly apparent that you weren’t sleeping at all. If he so much as shifted in his side of the bed, you would immediately flinch.

Part of him wanted to understand, to hold you, and say that he loved you and wouldn’t hurt you. Another part of him was fueled by jealousy, that even in death, Min Yoongi was winning your attention. It was frustrating to him that his enemy wasn’t alive. Who could fight a dead man’s memory?

It was that part of him that broke loose, when he saw you crawl on your side of the bed, wearing an oversized hoodie that reeked of another man. Not letting him touch you was already a sore point. And the hoodie just made him go ballistic.

“What the fuck are you wearing?”

“Huh?” You looked down at Yoongi’s hoodie. “I am cold.”

“Wear something else or strip naked for all I care.” His nose was flaring with the exertion it took to control himself.

You glared at him for a hot second.

“Fuck yourself.”

Without another word, you turned your back to him.

There was a sudden jolt as he pranced to your side, pulling you so you were lying on your back. His whole countenance was flashing with murderous rage. His knees were on either side of you, his arms pinning your shoulders to the bed. Hot breath fanned your face as he dipped his head down.

“Throw everything away. Everything that belonged to Min.”

You stared at him in defiance.

“What about me? I belong to him.”

His lips twitched ominously.

“He is dead.”

You didn’t back down in the slightest.

“Yes. You killed him.”

You could see the internal struggle he was going through to stop himself from hitting you.

He took a deep ragged breath and dipped his head even closer to your face.

“Listen, Y/N. Everything I did, I did because I love you.” He gripped your jaw hard when you rolled your eyes. “I went through a lot to get you. And I will not let you screw this up for me.” He paused with a haunted look in his eyes.

“Why is it so hard to love me?”

He looked at your lips as if they were curling around the words that would be his lifeline.

“Because you are not Yoongi. You killed him.”

His hot sigh fell on your lips, the heat sucking all the moisture from the soft flesh. You were scared that he was going to kiss you.

He leaned back a bit, catching hold of the hem of the hoodie.

“Are you going to remove this, or should I?”

He got off you, turning his back to you as he rummaged in his closet. Without looking back, he tossed his grey oversized sweater at you. He didn’t wait before adding:

“Wear that or sleep naked. Your choice.”

It gave him wicked joy to see you dressed in his clothes. His scent would be all over you, washing away that bastard’s. He made a note to throw away everything you owned and buy you new ones. Nothing should remind you of Min. Even the most inconsequential thing would have to go. He looked at your back wistfully. Everything but that thing inside your belly.

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

Two weeks passed uneventfully. Taehyung had given you a restricted phone. You could only call Taehyung with it. Calls to Hoseok and others never went through. You felt like your world had suddenly shrunk to one individual.

There was nothing to do in that big house. You weren’t allowed to work, because, apparently you were ‘not ready yet.’ Sometimes, it crossed your mind that you hadn’t received any letters or calls from your clients and friends. But it was probably because Taehyung screened everything. You were sure he’d filter the air you breathed if he had a way to.

You wondered how your mother-in-law was. Why was it that she went crazy but you didn’t? Had your love for Yoongi not been strong enough? Were you not anchored deeply with Yoongi as Sung-Hee had been with her husband?

Would you end up in a room next to your Yoongi’s mother? But you were sure they would take away your child if you went to the Klammer Institute. No, you shivered in disgust. You would never let Taehyung destroy the little piece of Yoongi left in the world.

The next morning, you emerged from the bathroom, body drained in exhaustion. Nothing you ate seemed to stay in your tummy. Wearily, you padded over to the full-length mirror in the dressing table.

You were pulling the shirt up and gazing at your belly when there was a click behind you. Taehyung stood immobile at the doorway, mouth agape.

His eyes were fixed on the mirror, looking at the tiny flab on your erstwhile flat belly. You had been only a couple months pregnant when Yoongi died, so the bump hadn’t shown. But nature was going her way, and soon you would be heavily pregnant, belly rich and round with child.

Taehyung gazed silently, not uttering a word. It was as if he were on mute. When he opened his mouth, at last, the words that shot out were:

“Time to marry.”

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

Your plea to wait longer fell on deaf ears. Taehyung didn’t want to delay marrying you. He wanted to protect his ego. He would marry you before your pregnancy showed.

You pointed out that people would call you an unscrupulous woman who remarried even before flowers took root on her husband’s grave.

“Do you want everyone to hate me?”

He didn’t even flinch.

“Everyone already hates me. At least you’ll be on my side.”

No matter how you pleaded, he refused to listen. He reminded you of the jail time he had saved you and your baby from.

“It wouldn’t take me a minute to get you arrested again, you know.”

He looked at your midsection. “Want me to sign up for foster care?”

There was no way out. You slumped your shoulders in resignation. It was part of the deal, after all.

“Nothing lavish.” You licked your lips nervously. “Just take me to the fucking courthouse and get it over with.

Taehyung smiled, eyes dancing. The sunny smile lit his face aglow, a strange softness shading his sharp features.

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

“Y/N, you really are a mystery. So soon?”

Mrs. Kim didn’t care to lower her voice.

“Leave her alone, Mrs. Kim.”

Hoseok’s tone was clipped, annoyance evident on his face.

Bo Na was holding your hand, patting it slowly, her eyes assuring you that she understood why you had to do what you did.

Taehyung smiled, finger grazing the rim of the champagne glass. He was wearing the tux he had bought months before you married Yoongi. He had spent countless nights running his fingers over the dreamy satin, his mind dreaming up heady concoctions of how sparkling you would look as you walked down the aisle, on his arm. He had woven all his dreams into the very fabric of that tuxedo, and the fact that he had, at last, attained what he wanted, made his heart warm.

“To tell you the truth, Mrs. Kim,” he sipped some champagne, waiting until all the attention was on him, “Y/N is pregnant with Min Yoongi’s child.”

Bo Na gasped, her hand flying to her mouth to contain the shock.

Mrs. Kim looked just as shocked. She couldn’t stop lowering her eyes to your belly.

Taehyung continued:

“She needs a person by her side, especially after losing Yoongi so tragically. I was Yoongi’s friend, and I can’t let Y/N suffer by herself.”

You wished the champagne were laced with poison. When had you become so weak? How was it that you let him puppeteer you into silence? Should you have tried and killed him before things got so complicated?

“Lost in thought, lamb?”

Taehyung grinned. No water on Earth would have doused the fiery glare you threw his way. Mrs. Kim called out to her son who was passing by.

“Namjoon!”

Yoongi’s best friend clenched his jaw and exhaled loudly before making his way to his mother.

“Yes, mom.”

“You were wrong about Y/N, boy. The poor girl is pregnant.”

His thick eyebrows arched at you in surprise.

His mother went on.

“And Taehyung only wanted to help, poor darling. Such a good man, he is.”

Namjoon’s eyes locked onto Taehyung’s. The air felt electric as they stared each other down. Namjoon deflated eventually.

“Yeah, I’m sure he is. Excuse me, please.”

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

There were no words to describe how embarrassed you were by the whole wedding affair. Everything was the opposite of nothing lavish. The decorations were all extravagant, sophisticated, and gaudy in the face of the fact that you had been widowed only months ago.

Taehyung had invited every person who had attended your first wedding with Yoongi. It was almost as if he wanted to flaunt you and brag about how he had fooled them all right under their noses. He was everywhere, flitting from one guest to the other, flashing his boxy smile, playing his part of the perfect host.

The guests were confused if they had to offer their condolences or wishes. It was very awkward for you, the little rip in your heart deepening with each guest’s flustered greeting.

Wow. Everyone pretended as if Yoongi never existed. As if he had never been killed. Killed by the man who danced through the halls as if he were the epitome of innocence.

Hoseok took your hand, leaning in to whisper.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I wish I could kill Taehyung.”

You blinked away the tears.

“Yeah, so do I.”

The sound of a spoon tapping a wine glass cut through the chatter.

“Ladies and gentlemen, your attention, please!”

Everyone stopped chatting and looked expectantly at Taehyung’s uncle, who was all smiles.

“I’d like to say what a fine boy Taehyung is, deciding to take Y/N under his wing, after the terrible misfortune that befell her.” He raised his voice to a higher note. “Especially because he didn’t want her child to be fatherless.”

If you ever had the power to vanish, you would have loved to use it at that moment. There were several gasps and turned heads that looked your way.

“Congratulations, to the new couple!”

Taehyung’s uncle raised his glass, and scattered applause sounded, and grew louder as people digested the news.

Taehyung stood with his head bent, a shy smile painting his cheeks pink.

That devil.

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

Going through the whole ordeal of the wedding was emotionally taxing. Every little thing about the ceremony reminded you of the gummy-smiled beautiful man you had married with so much love. When Taehyung slid the ring on your finger, you felt a wave of nausea that certainly wasn’t related to your pregnancy. He lowered his head to kiss your knuckles, loving the way the beautiful cushion-cut diamond adorned your pretty hand.

As you were walking out, trying not to cringe at Taehyung’s grasp on the small of your hip, a woman stumbled and dropped her glass, splashing wine all over the front of your dress.

“Oh! I am so sorry!”

Your brain couldn’t get irritated enough to lose your temper. Not when a man had already forcibly married you and assassinated your darling Yoongi’s character just before your eyes.

“It’s alright, Na Yeon.”

Taehyung waved her away, not angry in the least. He then leaned in to whisper in your ear:

“I’m going to rip that dress off your body anyway.”

The ride to his mansion was the longest. You had been living there, yes, but as Mrs. Min. You had hidden behind that name as if it were a consecrated circle. But this time, you were going as Taehyung’s bride. Nothing was going to stop him from claiming you.

“Welcome home, Mrs. Kim,” Taehyung sang to you as the car pulled into the driveway.

“Taehyung-“

He laid his slim finger on your lip, shushing you.

“Call me Tae.”

You scoffed in disbelief.

“You really think I’d call you that? What, do you think I love you?”

He grinned happily.

“You do. You just don’t accept it yet.”

There was a battle of stares and you turned on your heel, stomping away to change out of the stupid wine-soaked wedding dress.

It was confusing when you stopped outside the bedroom door. Because the knob wouldn’t turn. You were fiddling with it for a good five minutes when Taehyung’s chuckle fell in your ears.

He was leaning against the banister, a set of shiny keys in his hand.

“It’s customary to give the lady of the house all the keys,” he drawled, twirling the silvery loop that jangled in his hand. “Our bedroom is upstairs, Mrs. Kim. Newly decorated just for us.”

Irritated, you plucked the keys out of his fingers, huffing your way up to the damned bedroom. When you threw the door open, you understood that he was telling the truth.

The whole room was painted in pastel cream colors, books and music stacked neatly on the glass shelves. There was a huge closet, with mirrors for doors. The closet directly overlooked the giant white bed. Rose petals were strewn across the bed to make a big flower heart.

You knew he was behind you when you heard the brisk step of his shoe.

“Like it?”

You could almost hear his smile in those words.

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

The petals stuck onto your thighs as you rolled out of bed. Taehyung was sleeping, his chest pressing against the bed, his arm strewn over a pillow. His rhythmic breathing confirmed that he was asleep.

You shuddered at the shrunken petals, crushed under the weight of your bodies. Taehyung’s dark hair fanned over his arm, and you could see his veins bulging underneath his skin. So strong. Yet, he hadn’t thrown himself at you as you had feared.

In fact, he had gone straight to shower upon entering the new bedroom. You had changed into shorts. Strangely, all your long night pants were missing from the new closet.

Taehyung hadn’t made any sudden moves. He had emerged from the bathroom, stood before the closet-mirrors, tightened the cords of his pajamas, and turned to you.

You had been absolutely sure that you were going to be claimed harshly. But he had simply knelt down, both hands on either side of you, and leaned in to press a kiss to your forehead. Accompanied by the distinct sniff of his habitual smelling of your hair. And then he had risen up and gone to his side of the bed.

Sneaking a look at the man sleeping across the bed, you couldn’t understand why he hadn’t thrown himself at you forcibly. Had he not done it in the glass room?

The bedside clock ticked on, and you decided to pay your parents a visit. You hadn’t been to see them in a long time, ever since Yoongi had started having money troubles. The last time you had visited them, you were Mrs. Min. Something inside you just wanted to get away from the sudden overload of being married to your husband’s killer. Your mind craved something to keep you from going insane. Something that was a constant in the troubled times of uncertainty.

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

Months ago

Yoongi was at home, all alone. An empty whiskey bottle was lying on the table, rolling to the sides a teeny bit every now and then. He couldn’t believe he had gotten into so much trouble. All those years of hard work his parents and grandparents had put into the Min Group, all the effort, it was all falling apart. Because of him. The heir who wrecked the family. He could almost see the headlines in the newspaper.

His breath was probably smelling like whiskey. You would find out. He sighed.

You. Beautiful, gorgeous, wonderful you. Why had things gone so bad? Why did he ever trust Wo Bin, that bastard?  A thousand questions raced in his mind, the drunken haze making them even louder. How could he ever tell you that he had let you down? That he had let his entire family down?

He glanced at the digital clock on the counter. 3 pm. You would be home soon. Good gosh, was it Wednesday already? Kim Taehyung had threatened to show up at the Min house if he didn’t pay up by Friday. What was he going to do in such little time?

A clang of the doorbell startled him. You carried your own key. Who else was at the door?

Yoongi stood up and the headrush made him stumble around a bit. When he finally opened the door, a delivery girl was standing outside. She was carrying a bouquet of lilies. Lilies. They were your favorite. He was confused. Who sent you lilies at your home?

“Delivery for Mrs. Kim?”

Yoongi stood stunned. What the hell?

“You’ve got the wrong address.”

He tried to shut the door, but the girl persisted in a shrill voice.

“A person called Y/N? Does she live here?”

“Yeah- why…?”

The girl thrust the bouquet in his hands, grinning cheerfully.

“Then these are for her.”

She hopped away, leaving him standing at the porch, wondering what in the world just happened.

When Yoongi went back in, his gaze fell on the little card attached to the bow on the stems. It read:

‘To the future Mrs. Kim.

All the love, KTH.’

The words made Yoongi so angry that his fingers started shaking alarmingly. There was a band of sweat under his collar, even though the AC was on full blast. Anger coursing through his veins, Yoongi clawed at the card and tore it to pieces. He had never been so insulted in his life.

Outside, the delivery girl dialed a number and waited for the man to pick up.

“I delivered the flowers to him, Mr. Bin.”

She paused to listen.

“Yeah, he was alone.”

Yoongi was on his way to dump the flowers in the trash can when his phone rang. Swearing under his breath, he threw the bouquet on the counter and picked up.

“Min Yooooongiii…”

The deep booming voice drawled in his ear. Yoongi felt his cheeks heat up. Sweat was beginning to trickle down his forehead.

“Quit playing your games with me, Taehyung.”

There was a throaty chuckle on the other end of the line.

“Do you think your wife will like the lilies?”

“I swear I’ll-“

“I am sure she received another delivery at her studio.”

Yoongi went mute. What did the card on that one say? He started panicking.

“I’ll fucking kill you, Kim Taehyung.”

The caller laughed in a way designed to specifically irritate Yoongi.

“We’ll see. Remember you only have till Friday to pay up.”

The line disconnected and Yoongi was left fuming, unable to collect his thoughts. He needed alcohol. Something. Anything. Just to douse the white-hot fire burning in his chest.

── ⋆✩⋆ ──

“Mrs. Min?”

You had moved into the new studio only a couple months back. You primarily operated from home, but the studio was needed when you met other clients. Yoongi had set you up with a beautiful studio complete with hand-picked designers who assisted you.

“Yes?”

“Miss Yung is requesting to meet you tomorrow, for lunch.”

You looked at the calendar. Thursday was when you always went to see your parents. But Yung Min-Ji was a wonderful client, and you did have a lot to discuss with her about the styling of her new condo.

“Tell her I’m available.”

“But your usual schedule-“

You smiled lightly.

“I’ll go today instead. No worries.”

It wasn’t a sentiment to go only on Thursdays. It just happened to be that your schedules were light on that day of the week. You glanced at the time. 2 pm. You could use some fresh air.

There was a cool breeze when you stopped by the florist to get your mom’s flowers- carnations. You were walking absent-mindedly, coming to a stop in front of the headstone. You looked at the grave, confusion creasing your eyebrows.

There was a beautiful bouquet of white carnations laid neatly on each of your parents’ graves. The flowers were fresh as if someone had just laid them out. But no one was around. You were the only living person in the cemetery. You knelt down, finding a pool of molten wax. It was hard to the touch. Someone had come by earlier. Further inspection showed that both graves had indeed had carnations and one small lit candle on them. But, they were left by whom?

── ⋆✩⋆ ──

The sound of gravel crunching under the tires of your car woke Yoongi up. His head was throbbing. He held his head, steadying himself before getting up.

“Baby, I’m home!” your melodic voice chirped at the door.

Before he even got to hug you, he was met with your screeches, as you were hollering in excitement. You were jumping up and down in his arms, eyes shining in delight.

“Yoongi, Yoongi, Yoongiii-yaahhhh,” you crooned, grinning eagerly, “The flowers- was that you?”

There was a catch in his throat while Yoongi racked his brain.

“Uh- yes. Liked them?”

You swung yourself on his arms, giggling.

“Like? I loved them!”

Oh shit. He remembered the forgotten lilies on the counter. He had meant to throw them away. Damn. How would he explain them?

“Y/N,” he whispered, catching hold of you. “Go on and shower, I’ll be right back.”

You nodded, suddenly transported back to reality.

“Yoongi- you smell of whiskey.”

He turned his back to you, advancing in swift steps to grab the cursed lilies.

“I’ll be back.”

You made your way to the bedroom, mind still buzzing in happiness. You hadn’t even looked at the lilies.

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

Present day

The soil was wet under your shoes, from all the dew. The guards had shut up and let you leave on foot, without insisting on approval from their boss. Fucking privilege of being Mrs. Kim, ugh.

The faint smell of cut grass kissed your nostrils as you walked absently. It was still early in the morning, and the cool air helped ease your feverish tension. A man was raking leaves near your parents’ graves.

You walked faster, reaching his side just in time to see a bouquet of shrunken white carnations, withered and sad. There was molten wax on the cold marble, just like there had been before. The man sank to his knees, scraping off the wax gently. He didn’t even look your way.

But the flowers and candles? Who was it?

“Excuse me, um, sir?”

He raised his head, one good eye looking expectantly at you, while the other was clouded with cataract.

“Yes, miss?”

You gestured towards the graves.

“Those flowers… do you know who-“

“Aye, them flowers,” he shook his head, “I don’t know nothin’ about who leaves them.”

You crinkled your forehead.

“But you were cleaning the wax, so I-“

“Aye, miss. I been paid to keep these two graves clean. Good money for an odd job.”

Your heart started fluttering wildly.

“Paid? By whom?”

He made a stern face as if he were concentrating.

“Dunno. I been paid to take care of the graves as long as I live.”

He resumed scraping the wax, talking slowly.

“Man paid five grand, one time. Said ‘em graves should be kept spick and span.” He paused to turn around self-consciously. “He said he be checking on me, makin’ sure I ain’t skipped town with them money.”

You didn’t know what to think. It was a weird piece of information to process.

“How long since he paid you, sir?”

He closed his eyes, maybe he was thinking.

“Four years? Maybe five-ish,” he said when he finally opened them.

“Miss, tell him I be doing the work all right!”

The man hollered at your retreating back, nervous that you were spying on him.

You nodded, walking rapidly away. It was incomprehensible. It was a dream. Yes. You had probably dreamt it up. You would wake soon and find your husband’s killer draped all over you.

When you returned gloomily to the mansion, Taehyung was lounging on the sofa, flicking through the pages of a business magazine. You ignored him and made straight for the bedroom. It was only when you hit the shower that you remembered what day it was. Thursday.

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

“I’m going back to work.”

Taehyung lowered his glass, eyelashes almost dusting the rim of the glass.

“Doing what?”

You folded your hands, staring him down.

“Designing homes and offices.”

He grinned, sipping juice innocently as you tapped your foot in impatience.

“And who do you think wants Mrs. Kim to design for them?”

You hadn’t forgotten that the title alienated you from the rest of the elite. But hadn’t you a uniqueness of your own? You were sure they wouldn’t discriminate you. They were all your friends and Yoongi’s, weren’t they?

“I have friends.”

He took another long sip, smacking his lips just to annoy you.

“No, baby, you don’t. To them, you’re nothing but a traitor.”

“I’m not.” You were sure that he was just manipulating you into his twisted theories.

He tilted his head like a confused puppy.

“Don’t believe me?” He thrust his hand into his pocket and pulled out his phone, extending it to you. “Go on, try calling someone.”

Your instinct was to dial Hoseok’s number. But you knew he would stay by your side forever. Calling him would be like mistrusting his friendship. You thought hard. Maybe you could call Mrs. Park.

You dialed her number feverishly, hoping she would pick up. You didn’t know you were holding your breath until the line clicked and a voice spoke out:

“Yes? Mrs. Park here.”

“Oh hello, Mrs. Park, I’m Y/N, how ar-“

She cut you off swiftly.

“Y/N? What is it, child?”

You nervously looked at Taehyung out of the corner of your eyes. He was leaning back, a bored look on his face as he blew raspberries. Twisting the hem of your tee, you chuckled consciously.

“I was wondering if you knew anyone who’s looking to-,” you licked your dry lips, “You know, to redo their apartments and stuff.”

There was an awkward pause.

“Ah Y/N, I wish I could help you. But you know, Jaewon found a new designer who specializes in Earth tones and my daughter says it’s the craze right now, so-“

“I see.”

Mrs. Park heaved a deep sigh.

“So, yeah, everyone is more interested in following that trend, naturally,” She was rambling to neutralize the awkwardness, “Besides, you’re pregnant and… I hope you don’t mind, dearie.”

“No, Mrs. Park, it’s fine.”

“Call me if you want anything, Y/N.” More like ‘Don’t disturb me again, Y/N.’

“Yeah. Thanks.”

You couldn’t bear to look at the gloating face that smirked at you. He was right. Everyone loved you only when you had been a Min. But as soon as Yoongi died, their allegiance had crumbled to dust.

You couldn’t find it in yourself to hate them, though. You had married Taehyung just months after Yoongi died. Married Kim Taehyung, of all people. It was a wonder that Mrs. Park had even picked the call.  

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

Every morning, you stood before the mirror, gazing at your belly. There was no significant bump, but you could just feel the little piece of Yoongi stir inside you. It made your heart sing. How happy Yoongi would have been! How wonderful life would have been with him! Raising your child together, loving each other, looking into each other’s eyes, watching your skin sag and wrinkle; growing old, but your love never lessening.

It was ironic that every day felt like an eon with Taehyung. You were in constant tension around him, like an elastic band stretched to its maximum limit. Even his slightest moves made you nervous. If he reached over for salt, you were left trembling. If he walked out of the shower in his boxers, your heart raced. Everything about him kept you on edge, scared that he would pounce on you without a moment’s notice.

Things came to a head the next Tuesday. You were getting ready to go out for your doctor’s appointment. Taehyung emerged from the shower, rubbing the towel against his wet hair as he walked to the closet mirrors, standing next to you.

His studied your yellow floral dress, only the slightest hint of belly was proof that another human was growing inside you. A tight thread of jealousy snapped inside Taehyung. Yoongi had made love to you, cummed in you, leaving you pregnant. He fumed in jealousy, getting into his pants and picking out his shirt.

He was adjusting his tie when he saw you swirl the tube of lip balm. The same brand you had used for years, lending that delicious glossy sheen on your lips that kept haunting him in his dreams. His tie was left forgotten, and he reached his hand out to gently pull you closer. The sudden rigidity of your body reminded him of a startled kitten.

“What, babe?” He crooned, drawing you nearer. “Go on, wear it.”

When you didn’t comply, he plucked the tube out of your fingers, smearing a glossy coat of lip balm on your lips. He could see the visible heaving of your chest as you struggled to maintain your composure.

Pinning you with your back against the closet mirror, he dipped his head to ghost his breath over your lips. The fruity smell made him go crazy.

Without warning, his tongue licked a hot trail over your upper lip, following the natural curve of your cupid’s bow. He smacked his lips, groaning in lust, and went in to savor your lower lip too.

“Your lips look better with my saliva, baby,” he murmured, gently nibbling on your lips and sucking on the plump soft flesh.

He was heady with need, nibbling harder and pushing himself closer against you. When you tried pushing against his chest, he got mad.

“How long do you think I’ll wait? Huh?” His voice was thick in a mix of anger and want. “Think I’d just fuck my hand forever?”

Your throat felt hollow and itchy when you voiced out:

“I don’t want to-“

His face crumpled in anger.

“Well, too bad, because I want to.”

Still in his pants, he thrust his clothed crotch into your pelvis, the floral skirt allowing him to feel the mound between your legs. He used his knee to keep your legs spread, while he went on thrusting against you. The friction made him curse out loud. One of his hands sneaked to catch hold of your throat, and he nestled his forehead against your shoulder blade, never stopping his thrusts.

His moans grew louder, quicker, and more intense. He bit the soft skin on your shoulder as he reached his climax. He panted in your ear, deep breaths reverberating through his body. With a heavy moan, he licked the bite mark and straightened his back, watching you warily.

Your eyes were closed, face frozen and impassive.

He hadn’t been able to control himself. When he thought about it, he hadn’t even touched his dick once, and yet his seed was all over his underwear. That was how much you affected him.

When he pushed off of you, you still hadn’t opened your eyes.

“Thought I’d change,” he drawled lazily, biting his lip. “But on second thought, I’ll go to work in my creamed pants. It’ll remind me of you all day.”

A drop of salty water rolled down your closed lid.

There were only sounds of him moving around, grabbing his phone, keys and stuff, and then silence.

He hadn’t even touched a button on your dress. But you had never felt so open and vulnerable in your entire life.

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

Taehyung was in a serious discussion with his board when the intercom rang. He threw an angry glance at Na Yeon, who bowed so deep he could see her cleavage clear as day.

She hurried to answer, looking at him beseechingly.

Taehyung did not like his meetings interrupted. Calls were always screened while he was in discussion. Only an important person or an important matter could bypass the screening.

“What?”

“I am to put it on speakerphone,” Na Yeon replied meekly.

“Do it then.” He was losing his patience.

“Kim Taehyung, you fucking son of a bitch!”

Everyone in the boardroom was startled, looking at each other in panic.

“How dare you take advantage of me like that? You insufferable, disgusting prick!”

Taehyung leaned back in his chair, playing with his pen.

“You miserable bag of shit, I swear I’ll cut your balls off!”

Taehyung drummed his knuckles on the desk, waiting for the tirade to stop.

“You are the vilest asshole on earth!”

The line went dead, and a stunned silence prevailed in the room. Taehyung rose again, going back to the whiteboard. He huffed at the mute people staring at him. He didn’t lose an ounce of his cool.

“So, let’s pick up where we left off…”

After everyone left, Na Yeon stayed back to apologize. Taehyung noticed that there was a beauty mark on her chest, right near the button of her blouse. Well, it wouldn’t have been visible if she had buttoned up her blouse. Maybe she felt sexy. Whatever. He didn’t really care.

“I’m sorry about the phone call, Mr. Kim.”

“It was nothing.” He shrugged it off, he wasn’t very bothered.

She continued unmindful of his disinterest.

“I should have tried to cut the call, I shall screen her next-“

His features suddenly flashed with annoyance.

“She is my wife. She should never be screened. Besides, she has every right to yell at me.” He sneered at Na Yeon as he bit out his words. “You don’t have any right to cut my wife’s call.”

With that, he stormed out of the boardroom, leaving his secretary shocked into silence.

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

That evening, when Taehyung returned home, you were in the sitting room, legs crossed. Your mouth was set in a straight line. You were giving off a stubborn aura, and Taehyung fought the smile that threatened to curl his lips up.

“Aren’t you gonna kiss your husband, Mrs. Kim?”

The hot glare didn’t alarm him in the least.

He loosened his tie, sighing in that deep voice of his. It made the hair on your arms stand up. He settled down on the couch, just next to you.

“I enjoyed the telephonic love note today,” he said, fiddling with his cufflinks. He proceeded to unbuckle his belt.

“Especially because my pants were crusted with cum.” He threw his belt on the floor. “Thanks to you.”

You jumped to your feet, wagging a finger at him, screeching in mutiny.

“Don’t ever do that again, you scumbag.”

“Why not?” Mock surprise danced on his face. “Didn’t you agree to marry me?”

“I didn’t agree to be violated, Kim Taehyung.”

He puffed out his cheeks, disinterested.

“You didn’t leave me any other choice.”

You couldn’t believe your ears. Did he expect you to jump on his lap and love him? After he snatched everything you loved away from you? Was he insane?

You threw your arms up, scoffing incredulously.

“How on Earth do you think I’ll ever love you?” The very idea made you gag. “After you killed my husband? Do you have no regret?”

He scanned his fingernails, pouting his lips in mock hurt. His voice was soft.

“I didn’t kill him on my own.”

“What?” The tic on your mouth made your face twitch. “What the fuck are you saying?”

He lifted his eyes to meet yours.

“Everything I did was because I loved you. For you.”

You stared at him, no words coming to mind. You had been sure that you were only the spoils of the war between his family and Yoongi’s. You didn’t believe for one second that Taehyung loved you.

“When you think about it, the reason I killed him was you.”

Your jaw dropped. The sputtering of your mouth made it impossible to frame comprehensible words.

“Me?”

“Mmhmm. In a sense, you killed Yoongi.”

No, no. this wasn’t happening. You had never done anything to hurt Yoongi. He was your love, your precious baby. No, Taehyung was babbling nonsense.

“Shut up,” you whispered, voice shaking.

He smirked at you.

“Think, baby. He wouldn’t have died if you had said ‘Yes’ when I asked you nicely.”

Memories of that fateful day at his office, clad in pajamas and feeling his bulge pressing against you came tumbling back.

It was a struggle to find your voice. “No.”

“Accept that you killed him, Y/N.”

Your vision blurred with tears and you repeated again, “No.”

A shit-eating grin spread on his face. He unzipped himself, sliding into a more comfortable position.

“Would you rather say you killed him or suck my cock?”

The first drop rolled down your cheek, and he repeated his question, voice darker and laced with lust.

You grasped for words. “Don’t do this to me.”

Your plea made him impatient. He wanted the cold war to end already. How long were you going to mourn Yoongi? He didn’t really want to fuck you when you were heavy with that man’s child.

“Either suck my cock or admit that Min died because of you.”

He waited with bated breath, observing the whirlpool of emotions flashing on your face. And then, to his utter delight, you wordlessly sank to your knees.

He unzipped his pants, giddy with excitement. Your face was devoid of emotion. The tears had stopped, leaving stains on both your cheeks. He waited for you to reach and touch him. When it didn’t happen, he lifted his hips off the couch, annoyed.

“My cock isn’t gonna pop into your mouth on its own, babygirl.”

Nothing.

He reached out and grabbed your head, pulling you in so your nose was against his clothed dick. He felt like he would burst at the feeling. He moaned out as he rubbed your face against him, the groans coming out harsh and strained.

He couldn’t wait for you to take him out, so he fished himself out of his boxers, grazing the tip against your lips. The blunt disgust on your face only made him even hornier, and he coated all his pre-cum onto your lips.

“Fuck, Y/N, my cum looks better on you than my saliva does.”

He pressed the sides of your jaw to pucker your mouth open, placing himself inside your warm mouth.

“Go on, baby. Suck.”

He caught your eyes and added in a dangerous tone, “Don’t you dare bite, I’ll fucking kick that bastard to death.�� He looked ominously at your belly. He knew your sore point.

Swallowing your pride, you let his muscle glide in and out of your mouth.

“That’s not sucking, babygirl.”

Your spat at him in fury. “Fucking suck yourself.”

He made as if to kick your midsection, and you screamed in alarm. The tips of his toes made slight contact with your ribs and you yelled for him to stop.

“Stop it, stop it, don’t,” you never wanted to sob in front of him, but it just happened out of your control.

“Well, suck it then. And don’t close your eyes.”

You worked on him robotically, trying to trample down the sick guilt that rose up in your chest with each bob.

He groaned and growled, cursing at the sensation of your velvety tongue. He wouldn’t mind if he died and went to heaven. Before he even knew it, he was close to his release. He panted out, cumming hard into your mouth.

You remained in position, not attempting to swallow. He knew you were going to spit it out as soon as you humanly could. His fingers closed around your neck.

“Swallow. Now.”

The pressure slowly increased, threatening to choke you. Your delirious brain conjured a coroner’s report. Cause of death: Choking on cum.

Reflexively, your body fought by opening and closing your pharynx, effectively making you swallow his slimy essence.

Taehyung felt the bob of your throat, his chest puffing up with pride. He lifted you up gently, holding onto the nape of your neck. He gazed at your glistening cupid’s bow, and slowly pressed his lips on yours.

He had never seen your naked breasts, but that could wait. He was already swimming in rabid delight.

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

“Thank you for agreeing to do this interview, Mr. Kim,” the man said, setting up his notepad and pen.

Taehyung grunted in answer. His mind was somewhere else. He had been in a fight with you over names. He had wanted you to officially change your family name. But you had refused. He hated the Min that rang along with your name. It made him want to puke when someone ever addressed you that way.

“I will not change my name,” you had said, stubbornly set in defiance.

He adored your stubborn trait, but when it came to matters involving that damned Min Yoongi, he hated your obstinacy.

“You fucking will.”

“Make me.” You had folded your hands, indicating that you would not be swayed.

Taehyung was at his office, thinking of ways to coerce you into taking his name. That was when the reporter arrived for a quick interview.

The man started off with questions about Taehyung’s business, his financial turn over and assorted boring stuff, which he answered robotically.

Out of nowhere, the question popped up, making him raise his eyebrows mildly.

“Is it true that Mr. Min and you were friends?”

Taehyung shrugged his shoulders carelessly.

“Of course, we were.”

“But, Mr. Kim, a lot of people expressed surprise at your claim of being friends with him.”

“People like who?”

“People who thought you married Mrs. Min a bit too soon.”

Taehyung snapped in annoyance: “She’s Mrs. Kim now.”

“Exactly my point, Mr. Kim.”

Maybe you would consider changing your name if he compromised. But how?

“Well, Mr. Kim?”

“Huh?” Taehyung had a hard time not thinking of you. “I wanted to help her out, especially after he deserted her, while she was pregnant.”

“How did you know she was pregnant? You testified in court that you didn’t know her too well.” The man leaned forward eagerly. “How did she consent to marry you so soon?”

Taehyung could smell a bait from a mile away. The man wasn’t interested in him after all. He was scoping out facts about you.

“What is it that you want?”

His tone made it clear that he knew what was going on. The man cut to the chase abruptly.

“Did you kill Mr. Min?”

Taehyung swiveled on his chair, taking his sweet time.

“Yes. I killed him.”

The abrupt admittance started his opponent, making him open and close his mouth like a goldfish. When he saw how flustered the man was, Taehyung continued:

“You got your answer, what more do you want to know?”

“But- but why did you –” the man was bewildered. “Mrs. Min, she was on trial, you testified against her.”

“Yes, I did.”

“She could have gone to prison.”

“Right again. Don’t beat around the bush.”

“Was it-” the man swallowed, “-an affair? Did you both plot to kill Mr. Min?”

Taehyung laughed. How he wished that had been the case. He would have been spared a lot of trouble if that were true.

The man wiped his forehead nervously.

“What are you laughing about?”

“Nothing, I’m just imagining how your head would look like on a stake.” Taehyung smiled fondly. “You know, my children would happily play with it.”

Children. Name. Maybe he could compromise on that bastard child’s name? Would that make you think again?

Taehyung’s attention snapped back to watch the man gulp several times, obviously shaken.

“So, did you get the answers you wanted?” He exhaled lightly, adding, “My secretary has your name and contact details, my men would pay you a friendly visit if you blabbered anything anywhere.”

“I- yes, I understand.” The man got up in a hurry. “Please excuse me.”

── ⋆✩⋆ ──

When the reporter left the building, his phone vibrated with a message.

‘Any news?’

He called the sender.

“There’s nothing to report. I’m pretty sure neither Mr. Kim nor Y/N had anything to do with Mr. Min’s disappearance.”

The call ended, and Namjoon sighed. He knew something had happened. Something had gone wrong.

But the reporter couldn’t glean anything from Taehyung. The seeds of doubt took root in his mind. Was it possible that he had imagined the conspiracy? What if there had been no conspiracy and Yoongi really had fled?

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

“I have a proposal.”

You looked up from your curled kitten position on the deckchair, overlooking the pool. You were cross that Taehyung had interrupted your attempt at sketching Yoongi.

“Not interested.”

He pranced forward, plucking the sketchbook and tossing it away. The splash of it hitting the water sent droplets flying up and raining on your feet.

“What the hell d’you do that for?”

The reflection of the sun in the ripples of the pool made his face light up and sparkle. He placed both his hands on the armrests, trapping you.

“You will take my name.”

“Forget it.”

“In return,” he whispered softly, “You get to name your baby whatever the fuck you want.”

“I am the mother and I don’t need you to offer me what’s already my right.”

He butted your forehead with his own, clucking his tongue in impatience.

“You really don’t want your baby to see the light of day, do you?”

The scowl on your face was reflexive. It was a bother that he always used your baby as an excuse to get his way.

“Fuck off, Taehyung.”

He threw himself bodily on you, willing a strangled gasp to escape your lips. He spread your arms and upper body to align them with the chair, opening your torso up to him. He was already panting, cursing out as he spread your legs with his knee.

“C’mon now, babygirl, stop being so stubborn.”

He sunk his whole weight onto you, crushing your body underneath him.

The graphite pencil you had been using to sketch was still in your fingers. Mustering up all your strength, you dove it into the back of his neck.

He hissed in pain, jerking involuntarily and pulling the pencil off your grasp. When you struggled to let it go, he placed a well-aimed slap on your cheek, making you freeze in shock.

“You little brat,” he spat out, still pissed about his neck. His palms made contact with your cheeks twice more, sending your face jerking left and right.

“I’ll teach you to stab me, you little-“

He bunched both your hands by the wrist, holding them up above your head. His other hand sneaked between your legs, pushing your thighs apart.  When you tried to wriggle and throw him off, his knee dug into your midsection.

“Want to destroy what we have?” He sunk his knee a little deeper. “Huh, sugar?”

His finger was rubbing circles on your core, making you bite your lips from moaning out.

“Fuck, I’m permanently hard around you.”

His hard length was obvious in the tent of his pants. But as before, he humped against you, not unzipping himself. The friction was making him go wild. He thrust his hips into yours, the knee remaining ominously on your navel.

“Ah ssibal,” he cursed, throwing his head back, consequently making his long dark hair flip and reveal his glistening forehead.

“Oh… Oh.. I’m cumming,” he breathed out, spasming violently all over you, digging himself out of you and spilling his cum all over your clothed belly.

“Ew, Taehyung, you bitch, you’re fucking disgusting,” you screamed, pushing against his chest even as he shuddered in the aftermath of his orgasm. He smiled dumbly, panting out in ragged breaths. He placed his mouth near your ear, tickling your earlobe with his hot breath.

“I want to cum inside you.”

He sighed deeply as if he was thinking quietly about it, before adding:

“Soon.”

He pushed off you, grinning as he ruffled his hair back into place. Whistling softly, he walked away, leaving you trembling in a mix of shock and anger, looking down at your ruined dress.

He had cummed exactly on your belly, like he had carefully meant to.

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

The annual costume ball invitations reached your house, one addressed to Mr. Kim and one addressed to Mrs. Min. Taehyung had torn the envelope into pieces before handing you the card. It was probably a snide attempt to snub Taehyung and you knew that it had worked, judging from the annoyance on his face. You wondered if the hosts had intended to send you late invitations, because the ball was slated to happen that night.

You threw it on the coffee table, not caring in the least about some stupid party. But Taehyung had other ideas.

“We’re going tonight. Get ready.”

If the stuck-up Min empaths thought they had made a statement by sending two fucking invitations, they would have to think again. He would show them what fools they were. You were his Mrs. Kim.

The burgundy dress had a cowl neckline, which he absolutely loved. He had picked it out carefully, mind giddy with excitement on how perfect it would look on you. Finally, a day had come for the glamorous dress to do you justice, flattering your body, much to the envy of those losers.

“Wear the burgundy dress I bought you. And the studded heels.”

He didn’t wait for an answer. He opened his closet, apparently searching for something. When he turned, a classic Tiffany box was nestled in his palm. He opened it, and a sparkling silvery bracelet was reflected in your eyes, lending them a beautiful twinkle that made his heart sing.

Delicately, he placed it on the dresser.

“This will compliment you.”

He stood silent for a second, thinking if you would wear it on your own. Something told him you would just leave it sitting on the dresser forever.

“Here,” he took your hand in his, gently placing the bracelet on your wrist. He clasped it and admired the way it looked even more beautiful on you. To him, each fiber of your being was infinitely more precious than the rarest diamonds in the world.

He had never seen anyone more beautiful, and he wished not to. When you descended the porch steps, he felt like a footman taking out a princess on her ride. He was mesmerized by the simple yet graceful features that taunted him, inviting him in.

Taehyung had Wo Bin drive you both to the ball. Taehyung handed you a sparkling rhinestone mask, the wings around the eyes rising gracefully in showers of gemstones. The costume ball was essentially a masquerade, and he had gotten the best masks he could lay his hands on.

“Take my hand, remember, no silly behavior.” He briefly glanced at your belly, driving home his point.

“Stop fucking threatening me all the time, bitch,” you hissed, scowling when he responded with a lazy grin.

The entire ballroom was abuzz with people clad in their best clothes, complete with masks of every color, style, and material. Taehyung’s chest was stretched to the max with pride as he waltzed through the floors with the most beautiful woman that night on his arm.

A couple hours later, you were weary to the bone. “I’m tired, I wanna throw up.”

He rolled his masked eyes. “Right. Stay here, I’ll get you water.”

He turned around as an afterthought. “Want me to walk you to a bathroom?”

You shook your head, indicating you were fine enough to just sit.

“ ’Kay.”

He went off, leaving you seated in a comfortable chair.

He was, however, interrupted mid-way by a woman dressed in a jade green dress with a deep neckline that left almost nothing to the imagination. The Venetian mask lent an air of mystery to her ombre eyes.

“Mr. Kim,” her voice was hauntingly thick with desire.

She placed her index finger delicately against his tux, poking him. “I’ve been fantasizing about you for years.”

He couldn’t form a coherent comeback. He was a man who prided on never being tongue-tied while facing a woman. But the simple statement had such force that it knocked his thoughts out like bowling pins.

“Uh, excuse me, I have to-“

She traced her fingers on his arm, patting him slowly, whispering:

“Please stay.”

He couldn’t believe how tongue-tied he was. He flashed his left hand at her, declaring in a harsh tone:

“I’m sorry but I’m married. Very happily so.”

“Is that true, though?” Her voice dropped even lower. “You are married, yes, but have you been loved back? Why pine after a hopeless fruit while another aches for you?”

He shook his hand free, annoyed. Very much annoyed that she was stating the bitter truth that his heart refused to believe.

“Excuse me, I have to go back to my wife.”

“Maybe you could at least dance with me once?”

His jaw tightened.

“No, thank you.”

She pouted her crimson lips, sadness clouding her eyes.

“I thought so.” She touched his elbow with a smooth “At least a peck on the cheek for your admirer?”

He bent his neck, intrigued by the strange woman, but she took him by surprise, going instead for his lips.

Her tongue snuck out and outlined the curve of his upper lip before her mouth pressed against his. Startled, he took a step back and his gaze dropped to the cleavage she was generously offering. She giggled naughtily, winking at him. Damn the woman.

The hot feeling in his cheeks didn’t go away for a good five minutes, and he was still pink when he returned with the glass of water he had set out to get.

He frowned when he saw a tall man talking to you, bending in half to address you.

“You, you are just a gold-digging bitch, you whore,” the masked man was saying, just as Taehyung materialized behind him.

“Excuse the fuck, did you just fucking insult my wife?”

The man straightened up, turning to glare at Taehyung. His mask did nothing to hide who he was. The hooded eyes, the tall lithe frame, the rich timbre of voice, all screamed Kim Namjoon.

He dug his hands into his pockets, staring at Taehyung with menace.

“Yes, I called her out for jumping on another dick as soon as she could.” He focused his most hostile leer at Taehyung before adding “The dick being attached to you of all people.” He didn’t stop, spewing more hate as he addressed you:

“Are you sure the baby is Yoongi’s, Y/N? Did he ever know what a cunt you are?”

The anger was so hot that Taehyung felt like his brain would short circuit. He balled his fists, ready to shatter the mouth that had spoken so ill of you.

Before he could do any damage though, you grabbed hold of his hand, tugging at him harshly.

“Take me home, I feel sick.”

He sent Namjoon one withering glance and exhaled angrily. Namjoon would pay later. He would make sure of it. He guided you out, practically shaking in fury. He texted Wo Bin to meet both of you on the porch. He was zoned out, and you asked something that just flew out his ear. When you slapped his elbow, he caught your words just in time.

“Is that lipstick on your mouth?”

Taehyung creased his eyebrows, turning back to consider something. The masked woman, she had licked his mouth before kissing. It was a kink of his to lick your lips. How did she know that he loved doing that to you?

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

The way Namjoon had spoken to you felt like a cold slap to the face. If that was what he thought, was that what everyone else thought of you too? The whole social circle of which you and Taehyung were a small intersecting arc, did it think you were a gold-digger too?

The shame enveloped and consumed you, the flames of hatred licking at your heart. Your entire life was ruined by Taehyung. Only he was responsible for all the mess. Everyone seemed to focus only on you. He was in the background like an innocent bystander; but all the while, he was the puppeteer who pulled all the strings, bending everything to his will.

A bitter cold war was brewing between you and him, growing in intensity by the second. You had avoided him for days, slipping like an eel whenever his footsteps sounded. Every night, you slept on the couch, only to wake up on your side of the bed in the morning.

It was hard to sleep. Because you were constantly worried that he would violate you while you were sleeping.

You didn’t know that Taehyung spent three-quarters of the night perched on the steps of the staircase, waiting for you to drift to sleep. He silently swooped in and carried you to bed each night, making sure to tuck you in comfortably.

A few weeks later, you dressed up in a loose black hoodie and attempted to sneak out for a walk. But just as always, he caught you. He had casually blocked you with an outstretched hand, looking at you oddly.

“What the heck are you wearing?”

You tried to force your way out, but man was he strong.

“Get out of my way, Taehyung.”

He blew out his cheeks, shaking his head in disapproval.

“That hoodie is the opposite of flattering on you, honey.”

Curling your fists, you hit him on his arm, trying to make him move.

“I don’t care, so let me go,” you hissed at him.

“I care about my wife’s fashion choices,” he replied, reaching out to grab the hoodie. But just as quickly, he drew his hand back in shock.

“What the…” he whispered, horrified, reaching his hand out again.

His fingers gingerly pressed against your belly, feeling the small bump that was evident to the touch. He started back in horror. It really was growing. The reality hit him like a harsh slap. Min’s child was really growing inside you.

In one swift motion, he gathered you up in his arms, deciding that he couldn’t waste any more time. He couldn’t wait forever.

Dragging you upstairs to the bedroom, he led you to stand by the bed. His face was ablaze with hot emotion, his dark eyes gleaming with fiery hunger. He shrugged his suit off in haste. Long slender fingers gripped your hoodie, lifting it up to reveal the soft protrusion he had touched earlier. He looked panicked, like a guy who had missed the last airplane bound home.

“I can’t wait any longer,” he breathed, gently trying to undress you. “Forgive me, I am out of time.”

He pressed kisses on the side of your neck, lifting the hoodie up inch by inch until the cups of your bra were visible.

“Oh, Y/N, I-“ his voice was strangled, “- I can’t,” his hands found purchase at the small of your back. “I can’t take you when you are ripe with his child, I can’t wait that long.”

He eased you out of the hoodie, holding your hands to prevent you from covering your bra-clad breasts. He had only entered you once, he hadn’t forced himself into you since the day Yoongi died.

It had been his desire to wait for you to want him. But nature always liked complicating things. He couldn’t bear to think that you would be heavy with child in a few months, and would be busily occupied with the baby for months after that. No, he had no choice.

He was sliding your pants off when you half-choked out: “You could just… let me go.”

The wetness of your cheeks broke his heart. But your words had hurt him more.

“No. No, I can’t. You are all I have.”

“You know that’s not true,” you whispered.

The pained look returned to his face.

“No. It should have been me.” He gestured to your belly. “That should have been mine.” A tear rolled down his cheek, and he sniffed. “It should have always been me.”

“Taehyung- “

His lashes were moist and he shook his head, not wanting to listen.

“You were meant to be mine. Don’t you see?” His haunted eyes were tender, his raw feelings on display just for you.

“Do you- do you even like me?”

You remained silent, nothing but underwear bridging the gap between you and nakedness. His face contorted in pain.

He shuddered and shook his head. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, pulling both your hands above your head and pinning them in position. His other hand gingerly traced the outline of your bra. He licked his lips, looking into your eyes as he dipped a finger between your breasts, running it along the elastic strap and leaving your skin riddled with goosebumps.

His finger continued running down your midriff, stopping at your belly button. He closed his eyes and pretended that the bump didn’t exist, hurrying to slip his hand into your undies. It fanned his ego to feel your wet folds.

“See, your body likes it, hm? Why do you rebel so much?”

He leaned down to sniff your hair, greedily inhaling the scent like a man dying of thirst. He removed the hand pinning yours with a warning squeeze. Just as quickly, his hands flew to your breasts. His touch was ever so tender. He gently kneaded the soft flesh, moaning out as a little bit of areola peeked out of your bra. The self-control snapped, and he pulled the cups down, exposing your squished breasts.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he sounded so raspy, “Fuck, you’re so goddamn beautiful.”

Like a man in a trance, he dipped his head in the valley of your chest, nestling there, letting out the weakest of whimpers. His fingers worked feverishly to get the damn bra off you. He threw it across the room, burying his head in your bosom with a contented sigh.

There was a stark contrast between you and him. He was fully clothed, and you were in only your undies, entire chest open to his view. It led you to feel even more weak and vulnerable. When your hand tried to shield your breast though, he caught it, his voice came out from between your soft mounds in a muffled whisper:

“Don’t.”

He gathered both your breasts in his hands, moaning thickly as he rubbed his face against them. His tongue found your nipple, giving tentative licks before full-on sucking on the nub. He was a passionate man, and your breasts were glistening with saliva by the time he was done worshipping them. His mouth let go of the nipple with a soft plop, the dark eyes focused on your own the whole time.

His tongue drew a line from the middle of your ribs down to your navel. He paused at the elastic band of your undies, working on tugging it down. But impatience got the better of him, and he cursed, ripping the fabric easily as if it were the weakest of paper. He touched the wet patch on the crotch and looked at you, dangling the ruined fabric above your forehead.

“See. Y/N? See how wet you are for me?”

You didn’t reply. He gripped your chin, yanking it so his breath fell directly on your mouth.

“Kiss me, Y/N.”

When you didn’t attempt to kiss him, he straddled your hips, crashing his mouth down on yours. But the kiss wasn’t passionate, nor was it anywhere near romantic. You just wouldn’t open your mouth and let his tongue in. He could have kissed a pole and gotten a better reaction than yours.

It kindled the embers of rage in his heart, and he undid his tie, tying it around your neck like a noose. His shirt and pants were still on, and he rolled the long end of the tie until the fabric started tightening around your neck.

“Up,” he said, tugging the tie and making your head rise from the bed a bit. Holding onto it like a leash, he pulled your upper body was hovering precariously above the bed, both your hands holding onto his shoulders lest you fall and snap your neck.

“Now,” he hissed, “Lick my tongue”

The tie-noose tightened around your neck, threatening to cut off your airflow. You hoisted yourself up, shaking as your sight started to blur.

“Can’t” you heaved, “breathe.”

The fabric didn’t relax one bit.

“Hurry up and lick my tongue then.”

You blindly slashed at the air to find his mouth. Right on the verge of blacking out, you thrust yourself at him, begging entry into his mouth with desperate licks. Once you felt the hot muscle, you lapped at it, and just as quickly, the tightness eased, making you gulp mouthfuls of him, your body struggling to get your respiration back to normal.

“You bast-“

He thrust himself at you again, muttering:

“Shh. Lick me again,” and dipping his tongue into your mouth.

He moaned, chest vibrating against yours with the intensity of his strangled groans. When he broke the kiss, a string of saliva connected your mouth to his, a big bead hanging in the middle, the weight making it drop and splotch on your thigh.

He leaned back working on his shirt buttons. They didn’t open fast enough, and he started ripping the buttons off, eyes locked on your nipples. When he tore the fabric away from his body, his whole wide chest was naked, save for a thin chain around his neck. It had what looked like a silver key for a pendant, you weren’t sure as it kept dangling with his every move.

He remained in his pants, gathering your body and pressing you against his chest. A strained moan escaped his lips, and he trailed kisses down your neck, past your shoulder blade. His tongue flicked out to reach places his lips couldn’t.

One hand cupped the slight hint of your bump, prodding gently but also warning you against doing anything stupid. He pulled your hand towards his crotch, placing it on his clothed bulge.

“See,” he moaned, “See what you do to me?”

He stroked his bulge with your hand, fighting the urge to close his eyelids and lose himself in bliss. He had been hard for so long. Too fucking long.

“Take me out.”

His whisper sent a shiver up your spine. But you didn’t move. You didn’t have a choice to stop it. But you had the choice to not comply.

He cursed, too impatient to reprimand you. He unzipped his pants, leading your hand to his hard dick. He closed his hand over yours, effectively jerking himself off with your hand.

“Fuck, baby, that’s it,” he threw his head back, snapping his eyes open just as quickly when you gripped his dick too tight. Intentionally, of course.

“What the fuck?” He pushed you onto your back, dragging you by the legs into position. All the tenderness had evaporated from his countenance.

“You really want to screw this?” He hovered his body over yours, menace evident in the curl of his lips. The squirming pissed him, and a swift slap landed on your cheek, accompanied by an angry “Fucking behave, Y/N.”

“Get off me,” you bit out, aware of the drool sliding down your chin.

“No,” he said, humping his dick against your pelvis. “You are mine. Don’t fight this. He’s not coming back. He’s dead.”

He saw the tears kindling, and added cruelly:

“Because of you.”

“Stop saying that,” you screamed, trying to knee him in the groin. But he only laughed.

“You always complicate things, Y/N. I only want to make love to you.” He sighed innocently. “But you just make it so difficult.”

His forearm dug into your neck, preventing your head from moving. His other hand snaked down to your soaked clit, rubbing circles on your sensitive pearl.

“Who was always a bitch in heat for Min’s dick, huh?”

The question left you speechless. He smirked.

“Who loved to ride his thigh and get her ass spanked?”

“Shut up, shut up.” you couldn’t think of any other reply. How did he know all of that?

He simply shrugged.

“Okay, sure. I’d rather fuck you than talk about your dead man.”

He really wanted to eat you out. But he knew you would kick him in the face if he tried to. Maybe he should get restraints before trying that. Besides, his dick was already aching with being hard for so long. He slid his pants off completely, getting in position, aligning himself with your entrance.

He placed his forearm against your belly, deciding it gave him better leverage that way. Looking down, he inched himself forward, watching in fascination as he disappeared into you, your bodies becoming one. Just like they had always been meant to be.

The silky walls were tight around him, and he held on for dear life. You were going to be the death of him.

“Fuck, ah, fuck,” his breath constricted, the finality of actually being inside your velvety folds driving him crazy in exhilaration. He set a fast pace, snapping his hips into yours as if his life depended on it.

“Tell me how it feels, baby,” he cooed, “to know you killed Yoongi for this cock.”

Your whole face burned in rage.

“No, you tell me, how it feels to know you killed a good man for a piece of pussy.”

He chortled, not slowing down in the least.

“Awesome, really,” he panted out, licking his lips as he kept thrusting. “I can kill a whole army for this pussy.” He was not ready yet to say ‘It’s not just your body, it’s you I want. The whole you.’

He pulled the tie around your neck, telling you to get on all fours.

“I can’t dumbfuck, I’m pregnant,” you spat out.

He simply flipped you over, crossing both your hands over your chest so you were kneeling on the bed, with his hands pressing your wrists against your breasts.

“Shit, baby, how are you so tight? Guess he never filled you like I do, huh?”

His tongue licked the back of your ears as he kept thrusting. You were doing your best to not make any sound. You didn’t want to give him that satisfaction.

“Tell me,” he panted, driving himself deeper, “Tell me I’m bigger than him.”

His finger slipped into the tie-noose, twisting the knot.

“Say it.”

You were sure he wouldn’t stop. Panic flooded your body, jumping into escape mode.

“Fine, you’re bigger.”

A dark chuckle rang throughout his chest, making your breasts bounce as aftermath.

“Be more specific, baby. Describe it.”

There was another tight twist, and you gave up.

“Your dick, it’ bigger, it’s- Fuck, I can’t breathe- It’s thicker, it’s longer, okay?”

He smiled into your skin. Gently loosening the tie, he kissed the light welts around your neck.

“Let me hear it again.”

“You’re bigger than him,” you repeated in defeat.

“Fuck yeah, that’s my girl. Cum around me, baby.”

His groans were loud and animalistic, like those of a man possessed. His pounding got frantic, rattling the headboard and eliciting curses from your parched throat.

God, how he wanted to fuck Min’s spawn out of you and fuck his seed into you instead! The thought sent him spinning into his climax, releasing hot ropes of cum into your tight walls. The growls from his chest chilled your blood. He held you incredibly tight against him, riding his wave out, clutching onto your ribs in passion.

The shivering sigh blew against your ears, and he gently pulled out, kissing down your shoulders and back as he did so. Your knees gave out, sending you collapsing down, but his hands caught you just in time.

When he had finished prodding and poking his fingers in your clit to feel his cum, he uttered in a ghost of a whisper:

“You cummed for me, baby.”

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

Were you ready to kill Taehyung? To be frank, you didn’t really know. It was an idea that had crossed your mind millions of times. But taking another life was too horrible to even comprehend. On the other hand, it was a fact that he would continue to make your life hell.

It was a difficult decision, but one you had to face. Were you doomed to live forever with him? Take all his obsessed declarations of love for you? Live in constant fear that he would hurt your child?

Was it worth killing a human for peace? You looked down at your baby bump. He was going to be a terrible father to your baby. The orange canister by the lawn was just alluring. Was all the solution you ever needed in a can of garden pesticide?

The throbbing of your heart was so loud you were sure the guard could hear it. But now you were not just any woman. You were his boss’s wife. Hell, every guard in the fucking house addressed you respectfully.

“Mrs. Kim?” The man stepped towards you with a question on his eyebrows.

“I want the lawn to myself for some time.”

Usually, there were no guards by the pool. Taehyung would pluck their eyes out if any of them snuck up on you while swimming. But the lawn was a different story. There were a lot of guys walking around with guns. It surprised you to see them file out of the lawn like a bunch of disciplined kids.

But you knew their focus would be on you anyway. They didn’t serve you, they served Taehyung.

Making an elaborate show of tending to flowers and picking weeds, you loudly muttered at the gardener’s apparent failure to keep the flower beds weeded out. Kneeling down near the orange can, you unscrewed the lid with an air of ignorance.

“Foul smelling shit, what the hell is it?”

The can toppled over your dress, soaking the cotton. Just like you had expected, a man shot out of nowhere, hurrying to your side.

“Are you alright, Mrs. Kim?”

You batted your eyelashes inoocently at him.

“I- yes, I need to change. I think gardening and I don’t mix.”

He accompanied you inside, turning back to leave. Once upstairs, you nervously wrung out the poison from your soaked skirt.

✧ ═════ ✥.❖.✥ ═════ ✧

“What’s that?”

Taehyung had asked sooner than you had expected. You feigned surprise at the question, looking over to where his eyes pointed.

“Oh, nothing.”

Much to your chagrin, he nodded and went back to tapping on his phone. What if he didn’t ask again? Well, you could try again later. Patience. You couldn’t get caught.

Getting up slowly, you danced your way to the fridge. You peeked at the contents, closing it with a sigh. Turning to look at the counter, you absently reached for the cup. You were cradling it in your hands, and just as you let your lips touch the rim, he raised his head.

“Coffee?”

You shook your head. “Protein shake.”

He placed his phone on the coffee table, gazing intently at you.

“Well, aren’t you going to drink it?”

“Oh, yes.”

You sipped from the cup, not minding his stare boring into your face. He leaned back, spreading his arms on the sofa. His face was unreadable. When your throat bobbed after the last bit of drink, he raised his eyebrows mildly.

“Done?”

You shrugged your shoulders, without answering. He considered your face for quite some time, before his curiosity got the better of him.

“So, should I call the ambulance?”

You bit back a grin.

“What for? I’m not in labor yet.”

He watched you suspiciously before giving up.

“I know about the pesticide.”

You stifled a yawn. “Of course you do. And?”

He knew you were smart. You were a fighter. There was no way you would drink a cup of poison to get away from him. The poison surely had been intended for him. But he had just watched you down the cup without flinching.

“And,” he said, face serious, “Why don’t you get on with it?”

“What exactly do you mean?”

His passive demeanor broke, leaving his face twisted in vulnerability.

“You want to kill me.” You flinched at the word ‘kill’.

“So, go on and kill me, Y/N.”

Your eyes met, and you reached for a cup wordlessly.

“Not a fresh cup. I want to drink from yours.” He pressed his fingertips together, watching you as you poured out milk. He hated coffee. And you knew. He saw you drop one sugar cube in, just like he liked. The warm flutter in his heart died just as quickly when he saw you reach into the spice cupboard, extracting a pill bottle.

You tipped the bottle and liquid fell out of it, rippling and disappearing in the small white whirlpool of milk. Without a word, your fingers reached for a spoon and stirred the cup. His stare was burning into your skin. Your own heart felt like lead, so heavy and drenched with guilt.

His fingers had a subtle tremor when he reached to accept the cup. Placing it on the coffee table, he smiled at you.

“I love you, Y/N.”

It was a lie, you were sure. He only wanted to ruin Yoongi. He never loved you.

There was nothing to say. You didn’t believe him.

He drew a sharp breath, meditating if he wanted to speak his mind.

“If I die in your hands, your baby and you will be left alone, Y/N. Penniless. But you will get your independence, yes.” He paused, a suspicious watery film glinting under his lashes. “You can be happy and raise your child on your own. But you will return to me in the end.”

The arch of your eyebrows creased your forehead, asking the question your lips failed to.

The smile reached his eyes, a manic shadow casting a fearsome look on his face.

“Whenever, wherever you die, you will be interred in the Kim crypt, just next to me. We will be together even in death.”

The entire breathing mechanism of your body stopped working.

“What? But that’s –“

He flowed on, seemingly uninterrupted.

“And Y/N, the place where Min Yoongi is buried, the secret, it will die with me.”

Without hesitating, he grabbed the handle and drew the cup to his lips. The warm milk touched his lips, the fumes from the poison overwhelming his nose.

[engekihaikyuu]

View from the Top 2 - Review

Check out the Read More if you’d like to hear about this show!  Askbox is open as well if you’d like me to elaborate on anything out of this.

Before I begin my review of the final show, I do want to start with some caveats:

So as I mentioned previously, the production once again went with PIA for their live streaming platform, which means that live streaming this show is very inaccessible for anyone living outside of Japan.

PIA is a ticketing platform that requires a working Japanese phone number in order to finish activating/registering a new account because you must call the number provided to finish account verification. So without a Japanese contact or a Japanese phone number, this platform is basically impossible.

I have a generous friend in Japan who was willing to share her account information with me, which is how I was able to pay for a show and use her log-in to watch the stream. I did not see this show in-person; I do not live in Japan and obviously travel is off-limits. Even if I did live in Japan, I would have qualms about going to the theater.

There are some logistical issues with this show because of the current pandemic, with the most visually obvious one being the small face shields the actors wear on-stage. They basically serve as protection against direct spittle, but obviously they do nothing to guard against aerosol spread; putting on the play is still an incredible risk to the performers and staff. Another difficulty they face is the fact that Tokyo is still continuing to maintain a nightly curfew. Every evening Tokyo performance needed to be bumped earlier so that spectators can leave the theater in time to make it home for that curfew. Keeping that in mind, the show is a surprisingly condensed 2.5 hours long, where I would have expected 3 hours given the amount of content it covered. This does affect the pacing in Act 2 noticeably, and I get the feeling that were it not for covid and the current curfew restrictions, it would feel a little less rushed at the end.

So, with all that said, here are my thoughts on Engeki Haikyuu’s final play, The View from the Top 2!!!  This is absolutely not spoiler-free, for both the play’s content and everything that happened in the manga finale, so if you have not finished the series, this is your last chance to turn back.

Now that I think about it, I haven’t written a full review on a show since Fly High, so I’m a bit rusty at this, and I’ll probably leave out a lot so as always, my askbox is open for people’s additional questions!

The absolute main theme of this play (and really of the entire Haikyuu story) is the friendship and rivalry between Hinata and Kageyama, and the theme: I’m not alone. Engeki really did right by our dual protagonists by framing the final show as showing both of their journeys from beginning to end. Act 1 begins with that familiar sequence from the very first show: Hinata seeing the little giant on TV, being inspired to start playing volleyball, his struggle to find a team in middle school, losing to Kageyama in his one and only middle school tournament, and finding him again at Karasuno. They repeated the scene almost exactly as it was in the first show, and I think it was very smart of them to show us Daigo’s version of it, so to speak. That way we have a more cohesive vision of Hinata from the beginning of his journey to the end. Then they absolutely FLOOD the stage with a montage of projections with footage from all of the shows from the past five-and-a-half years. So already it’s pretty emotional for me, seeing how far the play had come as well as how far Hinata had come in the story.

To parallel this, the beginning of Act 2 actually begins with baby Kageyama. Yes, the baby Kageyama flashback with his sister and grandfather and how he started volleyball. We see Kageyama’s volleyball journey from childhood (for this they used a small doll similar to the dolls they used for young Kuroo and Kenma from Revival) to playing at Kitagawa Daiichi, to losing his grandfather, to being labeled the King of the Court, to defeating Hinata, and then having Hinata find him at Karasuno. And then they once again, they flood the stage with projections with past show footage, but this time they are more Kageyama-centric in the way that the previous ones were often Hinata-centric. And it just really highlights how much these two are meant to share the stage as the two main characters.

To see this framework and to know what’s going to come at the end, with the two of them reuniting in the pro-volleyball arena… just the beginning of Act 2 alone had me in tears. Another way they paralleled their respective journeys was to show us who have influenced them. In Act 1, there’s a dance with Hinata, Hoshiumi, and Udai (all little giants… well, Tsukishima’s in there too because he’s feeling a particular competitiveness with Hinata in this part of the match). In Act 2, there’s a dance with Kageyama, Atsumu, and Oikawa, because Atsumu and Oikawa are the setters who have had the most influence on Kageyama, and he’s drawing on what he’s learned from them for this match. They are not alone in their journeys, they have had people inspire them and be inspired by them in addition to having the support of their teammates.

The Karasuno vs Kamomedai match is interspersed with bits of action from the Fukurodani vs Mujinazaka match, so the stage was pretty busy for basically the entire time. The wires are back for some sequences so that both Hinata and Hoshiumi have a chance to fly, and there are plenty of acrobatics and lifts, and the same incredible soundtrack we love. Ryuu’s Hoshiumi is the obvious standout on Kamomedai for how many lifts he had, and they definitely tried to have him running around on the stage about as much as Hinata. It was notable how much they drew on past techniques and music for various parts of this match, since this is meant to be Karasuno at their peak. When Asahi was feeling particularly stuck/trapped against Kamomedai’s defense, they incorporated the tying-up visual they had previously used in Winners and Losers, with Kamomedai basically tying up and holding Asahi in place with ribbon. There was Summer of Evolution music when Karasuno does a great synchro attack, and the extras-wearing-Hinata-masks reappeared to show us Hinata’s “afterimage” as he flashes around the stage. If you’ve seen all the plays, you can’t miss these call-backs.

The flow of the match was fast. They hit the highlight plays and the highlight emotional moments, but we are clearly past the point where they need to narrate the actual volleyball to us. There was more dancing/acrobatics than attempting to place the two teams on either sides of a physical net with more overt volleyball moves. Everything was more intertwined and fluid than that. And actually now that I think about it, they have been sparse with their usage of a physical net in the past few shows, because everything has been a little more fast-paced overall.

They definitely wanted to highlight Karasuno’s rise throughout the game, to show that they were absolutely a formidable team, that they deserved to be at Nationals, and to show us all the ways that Hinata and Kageyama had grown. For most of Act 2 leading up to Hinata’s collapse, it really feels like they could win this. And I think it makes it that much harder for Hinata to accept being benched, because the team is riding this high and doing so well, and even Kageyama’s more visibly having fun. I think Takeda-sensei easily has a third of the best lines in the series. His speech to Hinata during the Kamomedai match is one that was really gut-wrenching to read when those chapters came out, and it was great to hear it said aloud.

And here is something I’ve never been able to point out because I didn’t do reviews for the past two tours, but I think Daigo’s voice is one of the strongest aspects of his Hinata. I’m sure a lot of that has to do with the work he’s done as a voice actor, but when he cries or whimpers, it is genuinely the most pitiful noise. A lot of Kenta’s portrayal of Hinata’s frustrations throughout the story had an undercurrent of anger and frustration. He’s upset, but there’s always something behind it that says, “well next time, it’ll be different.” And I think Daigo replaces most of that with pure sadness, especially for this scene. After Takeda-sensei lectures him good and proper, and he accepts that he needs to leave, he just sounds so broken. It doesn’t have that anger and drive underneath, he’s just in despair. And why wouldn’t he be? A part of him understands this is the last match he’ll ever play with this team, his first real team.

We then see Hinata bundled up in a coat and scarf, watching the rest of the match from the tablet that Kenma gives him. Snow begins to fall on the stage as he slowly wanders through it, with Karasuno and Kamomedai finishing out the rest of the match around him. Engeki Haikyuu has always allowed for the losing team in a match to line up at the edge of the stage, say thank you to the audience, bow, and take their leave. It’s so symbolic, and it’s so emotional for the actors and for the audience who are in the theater. It’s a moment that just barely breaks the fourth wall, when they turn to us, the spectators, to say, “Thank you for your support.” And they mean it both in and out of character. And I was so so so sad when I realized that Karasuno would take their final bow as a team without Hinata in the lineup. He’s in the back of the stage, separated from his team, and he does take a bow, but it’s very lonely.

Now, I’m sure people are very curious about the timeskip material, and mostly I just have to preface with: it’s fast. It does not take up as much of Act 2 as you might think. It’s boom, boom, boom, cameo here, pre-recorded projections there, patissier Tendou interview, Kuroo in a suit doing a promotional commercial for the V-League, Kageyama’s curry commercial, a projected Osamu selling his rice balls, get the old team together, fateful encounters in front of the bathroom, GO! The only thing we see of the Brazil arc is Hinata having a brief flashback to tell Kageyama that he met Oikawa while he was in Brazil. It’s very short, and that’s all we get for his time in Brazil. Basically, the play is not the place to see Hinata’s journey and growth from those chapters because he goes through so much of it alone, and there’s just no time. The Brazil arc also brings back a lot of technical details about volleyball itself, especially as Hinata is learning the beach version, and that’s an area where the manga is the best medium to examine the finer details of the sport. I can see why a play version would gloss over the technical details to focus on the emotional arc, which is in this case, Hinata and Kageyama.

Because of how fast the ending is, it definitely feels made for the people who already read the manga; Previous Engeki Haikyuu shows have always presented the story in a way that was very friendly to those who may not have read the manga or watched the anime. You could watch just Engeki Haikyuu and not feel like you were missing out on references/jokes for the most part, but this ending would be way harder to follow for those not familiar with what’s already happened.  

It’s difficult because I do feel like Act 2 was overly condensed to wrap up this story, but I also don’t think the timeskip material is enough for a whole play on its own. If we had stopped at the end of the Kamomedai match, and had a whole separate play to cover Brazil and the Jackals vs Adlers match… the pacing would’ve been slow and low energy especially in the first half, and it would be an odd choice for the final show of a series like this. My preference would have been for this play to have been three acts, three hours, so that we could linger on some of those timeskip moments a little more, slow it down, and let them land emotionally. But clearly the covid situation prevents that in this case. That being said, I don’t think any of those timeskip moments could really hit as hard as when I first read them in the manga. Narratively, that Haikyuu timeskip was so unexpected and so outside the normal sports anime formula, that the initial shock is extremely hard to top. It was fun to see how they presented everyone in the future (seeing Noya on that boat catching a giant swordfish, or seeing Ennoshita almost break a patient’s back) in stage form, but it’s unreasonable to expect them to give us the same feeling of ?!?!?!? when we first read that Noya was in Italy of all places after waiting weeks and weeks for him to show up.

I still cried in several places, it’s still a great ending to one of the best 2.5D franchises in existence, and it still feels like the culmination of their legacy. I don’t know how it would be possible for anyone to watch that ending sequence with all of the team flags and the chanting of their names, and NOT cry.

There are no more live streams until they complete the rest of their tour and then there will be a live-stream of the very last show, which I will be watching with a towel in hand for my tears. Feel free to send in any questions if you’d like, and if you would like some Strongest Challengers or Trash Heap merch, I have a sales post that I recently made.

[luminous-studiess]

Ummm so I'm new to tumblr so don't judge if I did something wrong.Ummm how can I be like you? Like you know? Productive and smart.I always push myself but ended up being distracted by things (I have adhd and depression).I can't even remember anything after.I suffer,and continue suffering, from my mental illnesses.I just can't keep myself on track.My family makes fun of me for trying.I'm actually trying to find a part time job here but nothing hires minors.Idk please help meee.

hi, friend! answer under the cut because this will be long. 

please know you’re doing nothing wrong, and that the fact you keep trying to become better and to push yourself to always get things done despite difficult circumstances already shows that you ARE already productive and smart. 

second, it also helped me when i was struggling very heavily last year to learn  two things: 1) there will always be particularly bad days when you live with mental illness, but all the little efforts you take, it slowly does get less difficult. getting better does not mean completely getting rid of all the symptoms you experience, but mostly just learning the best ways and small, gentle things you can do for yourself to manage your condition. this really requires a gentle but firm balance between pushing yourself to do the things you absolutely need to do, but also knowing when what level of work/school/self-care or hobbies is the limit, so that you don’t get too overwhelmed.  this means most of the time, you don’t have to worry about being productive for its own sake. it helps me when i feel like i’m drowning to know how little i can do/the most non-negotiable bare minimum, that still helps me not to fall behind.

^ this is a small, cheap pad of sticky notes i carry with me throughout my entire day. it’s only big enough so that i can only write a few school tasks/personal things i need to do/chores, which helps me evaluate what exactly i can only get done, especially on days where i don’t feel well. checking off absolutely everything on my tiny list makes me feel like i’ve accomplished a lot, because i i have-- they aren’t necessarily a lot of tasks, but they’re the ones that i know really do need to get done. it also helps me focus when i have a lot of nervous energy, and have a panicked sense of “so many things need to get done!!!?” because i can give myself a bit of time to sit down, maybe turn on an episode of a show i like or make some coffee, and write down my tasks. it really helps me with the faint, tiny guilt and dread i used to feel day by day that i was being unproductive or lazy, because now i know i’ve fulfilled all my obligations to myself (everything from doing laundry, to making dinner) and to other people (schoolwork and other tasks). it’s okay to move at the pace that’s only possible for you right now. it’s better to feel comfortable with the smallest things you can do, and build on that as the days come. 2) getting distracted is normal, given Everything Happening Right Now, plus with a mental health condition that makes it hard to focus. it can also be hard to remember things when i study, because of my own health conditions, but i’ve found that the following things have helped: regarding distraction - use a small system that keeps you from accessing any distractions when you need to get something done. i try to leave my non-essential device in another room, and set up a timer-based blocker, to limit the websites i access. - i try to acknowledge the distractions as they come, and try to figure out why: am i hungry? am i tired? have i gotten enough sleep? do i need a break? if it isn’t anything serious, i just acknowledge that i’ve gone briefly off-track-- without guilt, without judgment. then i try to turn my mind back to the task at hand. - a good ambient playlist can make me feel more focused during hard tasks in the sense that i have some form of stimulation to keep the “itchiness” at bay. video game soundtracks and film soundtracks are also wonderful for long, tricky tasks.  - sometimes i just have to start to feel motivated-- the focus actually comes in in the middle of the task. the fact of starting something may actually make you feel motivated.

- procrastinate productively: sometimes when i really don’t want to study i turn on a movie or a show and use the time to clean my room or fold laundry. my life still feels put-together, and i enjoyed myself! win-win.

- and sometimes i realize that focus may be impossible at the moment: take a break, go for a run, do something you like, take a nap.  regarding learning and remembering things i used to have the worst time recalling things for school, until i prioritized two things: SLEEP, and not cramming. i used to get extremely poor grades in my first year of law school because i would put off studying at the last and latest moment-- a few days before exams, pulling all-nighters right up until the hour the exam started. i would also just use my free time to scroll on social media, instead of taking a nap or going to bed early. this was absolutely wrong. during the exam, i couldn’t recall anything because i was too tired, too frazzled, probably didn’t have breakfast, and because i had started and finished half a semester of reading in one night. my grades have gotten much better lately-- i’d like to think it’s because i’ve centered it around two things: (a) getting enough sleep every single night (helpful ESPECIALLY if you have health problems-- mental or physical), and (b) making exam day the least stressful it can be. how do i do this? - this means not only learning things for the exam, but also for classes on a daily period. you don’t have to study particularly hard, but you just have to study enough that you can understand what the professor is saying in class. set definite study hours every day, stop at a very specific and reasonable hour, and go to bed. try to get at least 6 hours of sleep. sleep helps me absorb everything better (idk science but this is from experience and also some very smart people i know ALSO prioritize getting sleep). wake up at a reasonable hour.  - how to study: read the syllabus, and try to get a decent overview of all the topics you need to cover before you start testing/making flashcards/doing active recall (which is IMPORTANT bc this helps you actually train your brain to retrieve information). imho as someone low-energy i find that rewriting notes/making reviewers/making flashcards makes me very tired and leaves very little time for actual studying, so it just helps to test myself by looking at the syllabus and trying to explain the concept to myself, then peeking at the textbook or materials to see what i’m missing. mind-maps are also energy-efficient ways of figuring out how concepts fit together. - how to study for exams: the very latest you should start is a week ahead. two weeks ahead is ideal. map out how much information you need to re-learn from the syllabus. move slowly with the aim of finishing the coverage by the first week. the second is for reviewing and RESTING. - THE NIGHT BEFORE THE EXAM: do a final, gentle survey over the topics you may not understand. stop at 10 pm. go to sleep.  - EXAM DAY: you’ve done the work. take the time to eat breakfast, test yourself SLOWLY AND GENTLY (avoid reading huge chunks of textbook at this point-- youll only confuse yourself), and set up your workspace to take the exam. crush said exam. as a final note: it can be hard to get things done when the people closest to you aren’t supportive. try to reach out on studyblr and find discord study with me servers, or study communities on reddit (they’re actually really nice), or with students in your class. if you need to talk, just dm me. you can do this friend, okay? take care always. gentler days will come. 

[ververa]

“Everyone Finds True Love Or At Least A Dancing Partner” part 2

Part 1

A/N: Thank you for all the comments and reblogs!! Your kind words motivate me to keep writing and make me really really happy. So, please don’t stop <3

Sorry if this is boring or bad. I didn’t rewrite this part - this is the first and the only version of it that I have. But I decided to post it without making corrections or any changes, mainly because I feel kind of guilty for taking so long finishing my works. Hopefully it’ll do. 

Also this whole story is going to be longer than I’ve initially planned, but I regret nothing. 

@misssmephisto​ once again THANK YOU SO MUCH for helping me with everything!!! <3 

Hope you enjoy it!!

Cordelia Goode x fem!reader

Word count: ~4,000

Cordelia might not have realized how loud her thoughts were. But you did. For you they were as loud and clear as if someone had been whispering into your ear. As a matter of fact, you were sure Elliot was talking to you, though you obviously were wrong. Much to your dismay it was Cordelia’s mind that you heard. You tried hard to make it stop, to get the control over it and somehow shut it off. But nothing worked.

It was disturbing and made it hard for you to follow the music. If it hadn’t been for years of practice and the proficiency  you acquired, you most likely wouldn’t be able to keep dancing. It was hard to finish the performance and Elliot could tell you were struggling for some unknown to him reason. Yet you managed to do it. You managed despite your mind being derailed by the other woman’s alcohol intoxicated subconsciousness. 

It made you confused. You were a witch, of course, and it shouldn’t surprise you. Though it had been years since you had used your powers to the fullest. You had almost completely stopped using them and you were quite content living without them. You didn’t necessarily appreciate the fact of you being a witch. Of course, it wasn’t the end of the world and you would be lying if you said that they weren’t useful at times. Yet still, you wished to be just like everyone else and not have any supernatural powers. You wished there was some cure, but you were aware there was none. Whether you liked it or not, you had to withstand it. And so you kept pulling through no matter what, except you had never even considered meeting the Supreme, the most powerful of all witches and you definitely hadn’t thought of what it could do to you.

But there you were - at work, in the middle of the performance, struggling with figuring out what was actually going on and what was the reason for the sudden awakening of your gift. You tried to act as natural as possible, while you were discreetly looking for the person whose thoughts kept flooding your already crowded mind.

You scanned the room and finally spotted her - the stunning blonde stuck in the crowd with one of very few people you actually despised. If you were being honest Adam’s company was the only thing you didn’t like about her. He just didn’t match with her. She was the embodiment of elegance. A walking poem, a perfect beauty. Her skin was flawless and pale. So pale that against the light it seemed as white as porcelain. And there was that glow. As if all the magic was floating around her enclosing her in some kind of halo. You had never seen anything like that in your whole life. Probably no one had, it appeared to be just you - the privilege of being a witch, one would say. And maybe this one time, you would be willing to compromise with them and admit it was a positive trait.

You didn’t know her at all, but one look was enough for you to be able to tell she wasn’t like the others. If you’d have to compare her to anything, you would definitely compare her to a butterfly. She was like one of those rare butterfly species. Surrounded by all those rich and second-rated people, she truly seemed flawless. A butterfly among moths.

But even though your eyes were blessed, your mind was still burning. All her thoughts added to your worries and problems were like a lethal mixture. It was a lot to take, yet still something was dragging you to her. You kept watching her out of the corner of your eye, wondering why she had such a strong impact on you.

You didn’t mean to interfere or do anything about the whole mind reading situation - hoping it would solve itself, praying for it to stop and for your powers to subside again, so that you could come back to your normal life. Though you couldn’t just watch Adam trying to walk away with her. For some odd reason you felt incredibly protective of the woman. Was it the unexpected access to her mind that made you feel obliged to help her? Or maybe the fact that you knew Adam well enough to know what he was capable of? You didn’t know. It was an instinct.

You escorted her to her room. You made sure she was safe. And that was it. You didn’t plan on meeting her ever again - for your own good.

She was absolutely perfect and adorable and funny, especially in her drunk state. But meeting her was overwhelming for your mind. Your powers were all over the place. You thought that maybe it was just her presence. Though ever since your meeting you were unable to make it all stop, you couldn’t shut your powers off no matter how hard you tried. Whatever she did to you wasn’t fixable. Apparently, she was a gasoline to your fire. And as much as you wanted to, as tried as you might have - it was impossible to ignore it. It was impossible to just like that ignore and forget the fucking Supreme Cordelia Goode.

 _

Cordelia with no doubt was a master of organizing things. Order and neatness - the governing principles, were supposed to bring nothing, but peace and quiet. And she never went against her principles. Not until that one evening. Not until all those drinks she had. 

It was truly incredible she didn’t have a hangover. In fact, the only malfunction her disheveled self could register in the morning was that... she didn’t remember.

Cordelia put her hand on her head and closed her eyes trying to focus, trying to recall the events of the previous night. But everything was so blurry and confusing. She couldn’t say what was for real and what was just a dream. It felt as if half of her mind faded to oblivion.

Cordelia liked things to be crystal clear, but at that very moment it wasn’t even close to comprehensible. Nothing made sense as her mind was full of incoherent images. She was a mess and it caused her a lot of distress. She knew very well that she was far from innocent and flawless, but for God’s sake it was only the beginning of her stay there and somehow she already made it even harder and more complicated.

She really tried to remember, but no matter how deep inside her subconscious mind she thought she managed to reach - the only things she could recall was sitting at the bar and dancing with Adam. And that was the kind of stuff she wished she could forget.

The thought of his hands wandering on her body made her sick. She wanted to rub it all out, but she knew there was more than that. Something more had happened the previous night and she could feel it. She found herself longing for something she didn’t even remember. But she knew it wasn’t just her mind deceiving her. It was real and she was desperate to find out what it was.

Cordelia kept thinking of all the options she had. She was getting ready for another day, which - she already knew, was going to be hard. She started with cleaning, collecting her clothes, when suddenly a vivid vision, of a man with a beard carrying her, hit her. It lasted only a few seconds, but made her remember, not everything, but definitely the presence of someone that affected her. She looked down at the material in her hands - her dress. She smelled it and a distinct scent of cigarettes mixed with female perfume overtook her for a moment.

You were there with her - she established. Yet the memory of you was more like a wind. She couldn't see it, but still felt it. And her intuition was telling her that you were closer than she thought.

Cordelia made up her mind rather quickly - she was going to find you and figure everything out. Considering how her powers worked with the dress, she decided to use them around the hotel, hoping they would help her find the answers she needed. Though it wasn’t all that simple. She spent a few hours wandering around the hotel and nothing happened. Well, except for people looking at her as if there was something terribly wrong with her. Yet she wasn’t going to give up. There was still one place left - the restaurant.

Cordelia wasn’t happy going there. She really didn’t feel like meeting Adam again, but that was the only option left. She walked to the bar. The place full of people, was now empty. Cordelia sighed with relief. She was about to touch the counter, when a male voice drew her attention.

“They’re still closed” he stated

“Excuse me?” Cordelie turned to face him and almost immediately recognized him - the man with the beard “It’s you!” she exclaimed standing up

“Me?” he asked confused 

“You carried me to my room yesterday”

“Ooooh. Yeah, I did. I mean I carried you to the hotel and Y/N took you to your room” he shrugged

“Y/N…” Cordelia repeated after him “And where is she now?”

“Look, don’t get me wrong… but I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to tell you. You caused her enough problems. You know, you did that thing to her head…”

Instead of answers she needed, there were only more and more questions. What problems? What thing…?

“Wait. I hurt her?” Cordelia asked already worried

“No! I mean not physically… I don’t know. You’re a witch, you should know such things…”

“That… That makes no sense”

“I’m sorry. I wish I could help you, but I really can’t, Miss Goode”

Cordelia just nodded, making her way back to the hotel. She was frustrated even more than before. She was so close, yet so far. 

She could use her powers to make him do whatever she wanted - just like Fiona had done. But was she really able to do it? Could she use her powers in such a way? She was nothing like Fiona. She was nothing like any of the previous Supremes. Or maybe she was? Cordelia still didn’t know it. That was something she still hadn’t figured out. Where were the limits? What were her limits? And were there any limits at all? Any boundaries or certain rules? Any guidelines she was supposed to follow? You either were or weren’t the Supreme - that was a fact. And as the Supreme you were supposed to take care of the Coven and protect the witches. That was it. All that she knew. But there was no one to tell her if she was doing all of it the right way.

 “Miss Goode!” Gerald’s voice brought her back to earth “Are you enjoying your time?”

“Yes” she lied offering him a small smile

“I’m glad. If you need anything, you know where I am. Just ask and I’d be more than happy to help”

“Actually, there’s something…”

“Yes?”

“Yesterday, there was the performance at the restaurant. There was a couple dancing there”

“Yes. Y/N and Elliot. And what’s with them?”

“Well, I want to know where I can find Y/N”

“Ahhh, Y/N. Our sweet Y/N” he chuckled sitting down next to Cordelia “I know her since she was a little kid. I watched her growing up. Her grandma - Helen. She’s absolutely amazing. She brought Y/N and her brother up and taught them how to dance. She used to be a dancer herself. And let me tell you, when she was dancing… watching her was a pure bliss”

Cordelia couldn’t help the smile on her face. Listening to Gerald was probably the nicest thing that happened to her that day.

“She’s gifted”

“What do you mean?”

“She’s like you…”

“You mean she’s a witch?”

Gerald nodded.

“And where is she now?”

“She died a few years ago and ever since then things seem to keep falling apart, especially for Y/N. Now she’s the one who takes care of everything and everyone. She’s our star. People come here just to watch her…”

You seemed so mysterious and Cordelia kind of liked it. You were a mystery woman, almost like a phantom. Her own enigma. 

“And to think she almost became one of the Castle’s. Ahh, memories… Anyway, what were you asking about?” Gerald’s voice brought her back to earth

“I… I was asking where I can find her”

“Oh, she should be in her studio. I can ask Adam to take you there”

“No, no, no” Cordelia protested, repulsed by the idea “I’ll find her on my own, but thank you”

“Whatever you need, Miss Goode”

-

Cordelia managed to find the studio quicker than she thought she would, but she didn’t enter. She stood in front of the building suddenly engulfed by uncertainty. Why was she even doing it? Why did she want to meet you? Maybe she didn’t really want to know what happened? If only she knew what was that something dragging her to you, maybe then she could just walk away. But she didn’t. She didn’t know what it was and so she didn’t walk away.

She could hear a music coming from inside and noticed a slightly ajared window. Taking a look wasn’t a crime, right? She thought to herself coming closer. Peeking seemed to be just slightly inappropriate and maybe a bit disturbing. But only a bit. Just one look - it wasn’t that much. It wasn’t any invasion of privacy. It wasn’t illegal either. It was just Cordelia’s inner curiosity, that you awaken. Whether it was reasonable or not, Cordelia was standing there, unable to walk away.

There you were - laying on the floor with a cold pack on your head. 

“Uhhh. Shut the fuck up!” you growled standing up

Cordelia watched your every move. You slowly came to the stereo and turned the volume up. You closed your eyes taking a deep breath. It seemed to be your way of tuning into the music, because soon you began moving to the beat. Cordelia watched you dancing again, though this time she was sober and you were there alone. You looked tired. You were a bit sweaty, your top was sticking to your body and a few strands of your a bit damp hair were sticking to your face. But despite it you were still dancing.

Cordelia felt like she could watch you like that for a whole day. Only then Gerald’s words hit her for real. He was talking about your grandma, but apparently it was something that run in your family - watching you was a pure bliss. 

Watching you swaying with your hands above your head - one could think that dancing wasn’t hard at all. You made it seem so easy. And she was entranced. It felt as if her mind was spiraling. Sinking in the temptation to know you, to feel you, to touch you.

Cordelia wished she could stay there just to admire, but more and more people started appearing - as their course with you was about to start. And so the Supreme made her way back to her room. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t notice Elliot. Cordelia bumped into him and was forced to come back to not so delightful reality.

“You really want to meet her, huh?”

Cordelia nodded looking at him. And if Eliot did pay attention he would probably notice a little blush on her cheeks.

“You’re quite stubborn, but that’s good. It’s not easy to get to her”

“Any advices?”

“Don’t disturb her while she’s working and if you want to keep her, you better know how to dance”

“Okay. I’ll keep that in mind. So, when does she usually end work?”

“That’s a good question. Listen, we’re having dinner tonight… Y/N will be there, so you can come and talk to her if it’s really that important to you”

“Thank you”

“Oh no no. Don’t thank me and forget this conversation happened. She’d kill me”

“Then… why are you doing this?”

“Do I know? You just seem nice and already have that effect on her. Who knows maybe you’re the one”

-

Cordelia couldn’t help the smile that remained on her face for the rest of the day. She was filled with the kind of excitement she hadn’t felt for a long time and she couldn’t say why she felt that way. She didn’t know you and yet she was longing for you. Longing for that power you were supplying. The kind of magic she couldn’t even name. All that she knew was that you made her recall the thing that was gone from her. She was moved. Moved in the ways she had never been before. It felt funny, but it would be a lie if she said she didn’t like that feeling, that thrill. It was divine.

She didn’t know what to expect and if she even could expect anything. But despite it she made sure she looked presentable. She definitely failed to make a good first impression, she did realize it, and so she wanted to at least try to make up for it. Cordelia was sure all her nervousness was gone, but as she made it to the given place the feeling of uneasiness was back. But she was an open-minded woman. She was the Supreme and there was nothing she couldn’t take, right?

The place wasn’t as fancy as the whole hotel, but it was its crowning glory, the biggest asset. It was so cozy and had that nice aura, that made her relax as soon as she entered. She walked down the long corridor, towards the sound of conversations. She made it to a big room, but before she made her entrance she heard your voice.

“What is she doing here?” suddenly all the eyes were on her, everyone stared at her - everyone except for you. You sat there, among a group of people, your friends probably. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath.

“Well, I guess she’s here for you, bug” Elliot stated

“You don’t say!” you rolled your eyes at him and put down your knife and fork

The Supreme was frozen in her place. She didn’t move even a bit, waiting for what you’d do next or just any sign at all.

“We’ll leave the two of you alone” Elliot said standing up, giving the others a signal to follow him “We’ll see you later, at the party”

You nodded looking at your plate. Cordelia waited for the rest to make their leave, before approaching you and sitting opposite. You didn’t say anything and neither did she. You just sat there in complete silence. 

Cordelia watched as you began eating again, completely ignoring her presence. A small grin appeared on her face. She wasn’t used to watching girls close to your age eating, not like that at least. They all seemed to have really tiny appetites and rarely eat together, almost as if they were ashamed of it. And you - you weren’t even slightly bothered by her presence and kept chewing on your food. It was such a simple thing, but she found it absolutely adorable. She watched you for a moment, before taking a notice of your mug. There wouldn’t be anything extraordinary about the vessel if it hadn’t been for a teaspoon in it. The teaspoon that was stirring the beverage itself. Cordelia smirked at that small sign of your powers. 

“So… you’re a witch” she stated and watched as you swallowed hard before replying

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”

Instead of arguing and giving all her reasons to proved her point, Cordelia only glanced at the mug - drawing your attention to it. You immediately placed your hand on it, making the teaspoon stop. You straightened up and looked at her.

“What do you want?” you asked examining her face

Cordelia already knew that you could see right through her and that made her even more nervous.

“First of all I want to thank you for helping me yesterday. And... I want to apologise"

"What for?" 

“My behaviour?”

“What kind of behavior do you mean? Your attempt to flirt or creeping earlier this day?”

Your response definitely wasn’t what she had expected. 

“I…” she couldn’t even find the right words. She didn’t know what she should say. How was she supposed to explain her spying on you? As she sat there and thought about it, she realized it was kind of disturbing and pretty weird actually. Cordelia began nervously playing with the rings on her fingers. She looked everywhere, but your eyes. Could things get even more embarrassing than that? Well… yes. They could and they did.

“Where did that bold Supreme ready to help me with getting laid down go, hmm?” you teased standing up and moving towards one of the windows.

Cordelia’s eyes widened. She had absolutely no idea what you were talking about.

“I… I guess I was just curious” Cordelia gulped watching as you lit a cigarette 

“Don’t you know that curiosity can get you in trouble, Miss Supreme?” you asked pulling at your cigarette

Cordelia slowly stood up and followed you to the window. She stopped right next to you - leaning against a windowsill.

“I couldn’t help myself. You just seem to be quite interesting person”

“As a matter of fact, Miss Supreme” you starter pulling at the cigarette again “I’m exactly the kind of girl you would not be interested in” you finished letting out a puff of smoke

“I beg to differ”

You raised your eyebrow as she moved closer. Your eyes locked with hers, as Cordelia leaned in -  dangerously close to your face. Your gaze shifted to her hand, when she took the cigarette from you, her delicate fingers gently brushing against yours. She brought it to her lips, your eyes followed the movement of her hand. Cordelia put the cigarette in her mouth, glaring at you - still focused , intently observing her actions. She was waiting for your reaction, but your face remained unreadable. You seemed so stoic… until she pulled at the cigarette. Her eyes filled with tears as the smoke tickled, irritated her throat. She tried to hold it back, she couldn’t. Cordelia choked. She began coughing abruptly. A few tears escaped her eyes and flew down her cheeks - breaking the tension. That didn’t go as planned.

You chuckled watching her the tears with her palm. It was hilarious, but also kind of adorable. The way she tried to get your attention and impress you so badly. And why? What for? You were nothing special. There was nothing you could possibly offer her. She probably already had everything anyway.

Cordelia took a few deep breaths - trying to ease the weird feeling, to get rid of that kinda bitter, awful taste in her mouth. So embarrassing. She looked down, refusing to meet your eyes.

You pretended you didn’t hear her thoughts and smiled sympathetically. You felt bad, maybe even a bit guilty - knowing it was her attempt of getting your attention. You slowly leaned in, the same way she did before. Cordelia looked at you again. She glared at you expectantly.

“Smoking is not your thing, Miss Supreme” you said taking the cigarette from her

Cordelia crossed her arms across herself once again watching you exhale a puff of smoke, before you stubbed the cigarette on the ashtray.

You moved ready to walk away and get back to your routine, though something made you stop. You couldn’t stand seeing her so perplexed, biting on her lip nervously. She got so shy around you that you couldn’t help and wanted nothing more, but to take care of her, embrace and hide from the whole world as if she was the most precious thing you had ever seen.

“If anything...” you spoke up drawing her attention back to yourself one more time “it was adorable. Yes, maybe a bit embarrassing, but still cute as fuck” you winked at her, seeing a small smile forming on her face.

You mirrored her smile and for a moment, just a few seconds her eyes lit up.

“Come on, you still owe me a dance, Miss Supreme”

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