#parents are doomscrolling and politicing

[the-cookie-of-doom]

Yeah I just. Can not today.

[maxdibert]

Having a shitty past is no excuse for being a horrible person, and Snape was a horrible person. Snape fans always try to turn him into a tragic hero, but there was nothing heroic about him when he was just an obsessive bigot who followed a group of genocidal maniacs

Well, I think I’ve said this a million times already and explained in exhausting detail why growing up in a particular environment—lacking social, emotional, economic, or essential support—and being subjected to violence during the most crucial years of cognitive development creates the perfect breeding ground for antisocial behavior. It also makes vulnerable or socially excluded youth prime targets for sectarian groups (whether religious, political, or otherwise) that prey on their situation, offering them promises of protection, safe spaces, surrogate parental figures, or social progress. These groups actively seek out kids with emotional voids caused by dysfunctional family dynamics, minimal to no financial resources, and a profound sense that the system has failed them at every turn. They offer these kids an alternative system—one that gives them a roof over their heads, a hot meal, a place to belong, and people who won’t marginalize them like the rest of society has—at the simple price of blindly following the group’s ideology. And they do it. Of course, they do. Because what other choice do they have? This group gave them life, a place in society, and restored their status as human beings.

But since I’ve spoken about this at length before and about how Severus’s life shaped his decisions, I feel like I’m starting to sound like a broken record. So, since I’m also reading a legal ruling I need to memorize by Friday, I’m going to indulge myself and dissertate as freely as I please—because hey, if you’re going to throw hate, I’m going to grant myself the privilege of replying however I want.

Here’s a question: why does it even matter? Seriously, what does it matter if he was a shitty person? Do you know that people go to space today thanks to the work of physicists and engineers who were literal SS members? That after WWII, all the top scientists, physicists, chemists, and engineers were granted amnesty and fast-tracked into citizenships so they could work on government projects? That people working within a stone’s throw of concentration camps are the pioneers behind some of the greatest technological advances of the 20th century? And you don’t care that the products you consume are derived from the work of collaborators with mass genocide, but you’re upset that people find a fictional character interesting? I don’t want to sound cynical, but honestly, it’s ridiculous to get so morally high and mighty about a character who doesn’t exist and who followed an extremist cult for, what? 3 or 4 years tops? and then canonically worked actively to take it down. If we put Severus in a real-world, wartime context, the guy would be a literal war hero with medals to his name. No exaggeration. If he survived, he’d be recruited with a fat paycheck to work in internal affairs for some major world power’s secret projects. That’s just how the world works.

And yeah, he was obsessive. But in an era where everyone suffers at least one anxiety episode a month, where the best-case scenario is that your panic attacks don’t spiral into chronic mental health issues—can we really judge him for that? Like, most of the people I see being ultra “snater” are folks who openly declare themselves neurodivergent, and one of the common denominators of all neurodivergence is obsessiveness. All of them. Whether it’s chronic anxiety, depression, OCD, ADHD, paranoid schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder or autism. Every single one has an obsessive component. So it’s kind of ironic—and even hypocritical—for people who are themselves pretty obsessive (because let’s face it, we’re all compulsively doomscrolling here to soothe our anxious compulsions with little dopamine hits) to judge this character’s obsessiveness as a negative trait. Maybe let’s take a good look in the mirror, too.

And let me just say, no court would convict Severus of collaborating with a terrorist group. Not a single one. Impossible. Especially since he literally collaborated against said group, so any judge would happily clear him—not after the war, but the moment he struck his deal with Dumbledore. Severus is what’s known as an informant. He worked from the inside, exposed himself to greater dangers than regular agents. Legally speaking, there have been cases where people guilty of heinous crimes—including crimes against humanity—were let off because they provided critical information. So imagine someone like Severus, who, as far as we know, didn’t even kill anyone during his time in the group, willingly spilling the beans and agreeing to work as a spy. He’d be celebrated as a hero of war. Hell, they’d probably buy him a mansion in Florida if he wanted one. That’s just how our system works, and honestly, this kind of moralist posturing is pretty cringy because you’re talking about a guy who literally saved half of magical society’s asses and without whom the kid destined to save the world would’ve died in his first year at school.

You can dislike him or think he’s a jerk, but he was damn good at his job. And compared to the people he’s often unfairly measured against (Sirius, James, Remus...), he actually did something. They didn’t. Absolutely nothing. Contribution: negative one.

[bimboficationblues]

2024 was a mixed bag. I spent a lot of it malding about my job, but fortunately I am no longer there and have a new one (family lawyer for DV survivors). Idk if I want to keep being a lawyer long term but rn I am making more money, doing more interesting (but potentially taxing) work, and hopefully it will level out to something either tolerable or useful.

long distance with my love is still sad, and we found that polyamory did not really alleviate those pressures, but we have taken some good steps towards a different approach, starting with a monogamy trial run. I found dating around mostly unpleasant despite some exciting possibilities throughout the year - very few people seem to really know what they want and act accordingly. ultimately poly started to feel like I was chasing after an ideal, and I do believe I’d enjoy that ideal. but when the process of pursuing it is so exhausting and unfun and crazy-making it just doesn’t seem worth it. the lesbian connections I found frequently ended because the other person started acting like an avoidant abject meow meow and I simply don’t have the patience.

as far as bringing the long distance to a close, I'm not sure how that’s gonna happen - I love Chicago and I don't want to leave my people. for the first time since maybe high school I do not feel fundamentally lonely and I think that's a feeling worth taking seriously. I've been really overjoyed by my various friendships, both near and far. but I miss my gf dearly. she has my heart. I don’t feel like I’ve ever loved or been loved like this. It’s a difficult situation.

I did get to travel a lot which was nice - this year in addition to regular Washington visits, including one to Olympic National Park, I also went to Barcelona, Toronto, Montreal, Cleveland, and Philadelphia. I am visiting my love's hometown currently and while I was kind of dreading it a bit it's turned out to be overall very pleasant and comforting and nice to see where she came from. Plus I did some visits to the family in SC.

speaking of which, I am feeling generally at ease with my parents. I feel like I've been able to accept that they are limited people, but not to such a degree that it makes being around them impossible, and they have also generally gotten cooler about a lot of things. we have a lot in common and it is generally fun to spend time with them despite their foibles. being able to do drugs together also helps. my dad turned 60 this year and my mom has been having health issues, which I do think has made entropy be on my mind a lot more to a troubling degree. dunno how I’ll handle that when it becomes a more pressing consideration but I guess that’s a problem for the future.

last January I made a conscious effort to approach my passions and hobbies more intentionally by making a daily schedule that roughly looked like this:

MONDAY - fiction reading; TUESDAY - history studies; WEDNESDAY - philosophy/political theory studies/writing; THURSDAY - working on music; FRIDAY - watching movies.

I also tried to get some daily activities going on top of all these - listening to at least one full album a day, regular walks, practicing guitar, yoga. keeping to this was inconsistent - sometimes I was locked in and sometimes I'd get derailed by other priorities (spending time with the love, seeing my lovely friends, getting stoned, travel). sometimes certain activities are just easier (reading comics is always fun and also minimally demanding of my energy, social media and doomscrolling is a tempting time-sink). I might try and revise this approach in some ways - I might want to take a harder tack with how much time I want to spend on each activity - but I do think that even just being deliberate and structured about how I spend my time made my mental state significantly stronger. so that is a positive development.

artistically I've made progress on the album, but I never feel like I have enough time to dedicate to it with work and everything else. but I also think my approach of trying to write all the songs first before recording them was the wrong one. so instead I think I'm going to start trying to get what I've roughly finished into a recorded form and in the process a stronger vision of the project will emerge which will help with future songs. this will require me to learn some new skills - I've always worked with a producer before - but that's not a bad thing. my friends and I are also doing a writing workshop so that will be nice to get feedback from people I love and trust.

social media has been real bad for me this past year in a kind of emotionally masochistic way - I found myself hatereading a lot more, which is bad. I’m hoping I can adjust that this year and stop getting brain damage from pissing myself off.

part of the reason for the above is that the political situation domestically and globally is dire and basically I just see cope or rationalization everywhere which, considering the urgency and scope and existential weight of what’s happening, is really infuriating to me. I feel like after a year of some of the most depraved inhuman butchery imaginable, as the ruling class takes refuge in obvious bad faith that is “all the more odious because it is less and less likely to deceive,” and with Hitleritis running rampant through civil society, we need a sober reflection on the challenge ahead of us as socialists. I do not want the ruling class to annihilate the rest of us with them or for capital to find new, intensified, and more insidious methods of shifting crisis around. this is partly why anti-intellectual, regressive forms of Marxism have been stuck in my craw lately, because it feels like psychological palliatives masquerading as politics. I’m not sure what the move is to really turn the tides of the war we are in, but doing away with self-deceiving political impulses seems like a start.

[wildhannimal]

we need to have a serious conversation

The Financial Diet

RESOURCES TO HELP NOW

Political Action/Electoral

Indivisible (progressive coalition building)

Run For Something

Working Families Party

Mutual Aid Networks

Mutual Aid Hub (national map)

Trans-centered mutual aid orgs

Los Angeles Mutual Aid

Media/Journalism

A guide to contacting/coordinating with media from on the ground

How To Raise A Citizen (a tool for parents and educators) - find at a local bookseller or publisher website, if possible

Oath (a platform to stop doomscrolling and start taking action)

The American Library Association advocacy guide

The National Coalition Against Censorship

Immigration

The Immigrants Rights Project

Resources for educators protecting students:

https://unitedwedream.org/actions/edu...

https://www.ilrc.org/red-cards-tarjet...

https://www.immigrantdefenseproject.o...

Abortion Rights

Mountain Access Brigade (abortion fund)

New York Abortion Access Fund

Frontera Fund

[the-lonelyshepherd]

ok how would your ocs react in the early stages of covid (jan/feb 2020 to april).... curious

sooo hm it would have to be like modern au. hmm.

catalina would still prob live on a ranch so..? shed be mostly fine. pretty isolated and far out, just not going to the main town as much. prob some money issues with selling things. i think shed still be stressing though but it would probably lead to her spending less time working since no money was coming in anyways. drawing era.

shay on the other hand 😭 dead center of town with political figure father. shes screwed also shed go INSANE alone in that house. like the only reason she makes it in the story is bc she just goes outside all the time if she was stuck in there w her parents for months 😭😭😭 good lord. i think she would try to pick up several hobbies, not keep any of them, doomscroll, fight people. etc. shes so special to me.

[idohistorysometimes]

A reminder for people regarding current events

(source: I am a political science and history major specializing in extremism, radicalism, and conflict and Ive also worked at museums for many years)

You can support Palestine WITHOUT being anti-Semitic. Not only do Palestinian Jews exist, but Israel also isn't Judaism, its a country. Judaism isn't a massive monolith and not all Jewish people are connected with Israel. Critiquing the actions of a government and military does not mean targeting random Jewish people in the name of the Palestinian people. Being angry at and harassing random people does not help solve the issue. In fact, it compromises the cause because this isn't a "Muslim good Jew bad" issue.

Do not just blindly support every single thing relating to Palestine you see. Make sure what you are donating to and who you are following are truthful. At the moment not only have Neo-Nazis hijacked the "free Palestine" movement simply to have an excuse to harass Jewish people more openly, but a lot of those donation links being posted are NOT going to aid people in Gaza or being displaced by the shellings. They are scams. That money is going to a scammer's bank account The same thing happened when the war in Ukraine kicked into full swing and when the protests in Iran broke out. VERIFY WHO YOU ARE DONATING TO AND WHO YOU ARE FOLLOWING. MAKE SURE WHO YOU ARE SUPPORTING IS BEING HONEST WITH THEIR INTENTIONS. PEOPLE LIE. Nazis only care about Palestine because they want an excuse to be anti-Semitic. As soon as this is over they will go back to being Islamophobic. Palestine is a means to an end for them. And scammers will always scam no matter how tasteless it is.

It is ok to take a break from the doomscrolling. I am specifically talking to those from Western countries who have gotten extremely invested in this conflict despite having no personal or cultural ties to it whatsoever. This is a complex conflict that has been going on for longer than some of your parents have been alive. Does this make it good? Hell no. And yes, people are suffering. They will be even when you turn your phone off. But doomscrolling and driving yourself to the point of crippling depression watching war footage and reading what is going on will not help them or you. You alone cannot and will not fix this. Support how you can, but remember that it is not up to you to fight all of the worlds battles and shoulder that weight. You do not have to constantly be engaging with this subject in order to help.

Do not talk over people living in these areas because you feel passionate about what is going on. You are not them. You do not know more than a Palestinian person about what is going on in Gaza. It is not up to you to constantly be inserting yourself in the conversation and saying what should or should not be done.

Do not shame people for saying they don't know enough to comment on what is going on right now. Not everyone is a terrorism expert. Not everyone is proficient in Middle Eastern studies or the history of Israel and Palestine as nations. You probably are not either if your only real engagement with this topic comes from the last month or so. Its ok not to know what is going on. Its ok not to fully understand. Not having a comment does not equate to lack of support or empathy.

None of those other news worthy social issues have stopped. The protests in Iran are still going on, the Uyghurs are still being oppressed, Ukraine is still being shelled and invaded, those at the US border with Mexico are still being horrifically mistreated. What is going on in Palestine does not replace those issues. And when the next event comes along, whats going on in Palestine wont magically just stop. All social issues are important. This isn't a game of which group is being shat upon worse.

Tiktok is also, just universally, a horrible place to be getting info from. It is brain rot the app.

This issue has been so greatly bastardized in the West its fucking exhausting. None of this slacktivism on behalf of photo edits and really stupid discourse is helpful or healthy for those engaging in it. Palestine needs freed, but a 13 year old from Wyoming isn't going to do that by calling a random Jewish person a slur or by spamming comment sections. This isn't a simple issue. People simply living in an area are not inherently evil. State actors are. Governments are. Support how you can and listen, I mean truly listen, to Palestinian people when they tell you how they are feeling and what they need.

And for the love of all that is holy and just in this world: put down your phone and stop doomscrolling.

You cannot be an effective agent of change if you spend more hours a day engaging with internet discourse on a subject you know little about and or watching horrifying war footage and making yourself severely depressed than you do sleeping or conducting your own personal responsibilities you have. Yeah, you are privileged by the fact you are not in that situation. Yes, those people are suffering. But making yourself suffer in kind isn't being productive or helping them. Comparative suffering is stupid and not helpful either.

Thank you.

[hashtagloveloses]

hey there klaudia. I have one of those questions that's sort of googleable but also sort of hard to google because really I just want someone's opinion, and as I did get your anti-doomscroller emails, and vaguely recall you did/do some sort of media or journalism thing, and I've been following you since idk the dawn of time or 2016, somewhere in there, so you're sort of someone I know, I thought I'd ask you. Anyway. I do not read the news. I need this to change. I know I should read (not watch, I simply cannot) the news regularly. Specifically for my life I need to know about international politics, wars and the threat thereof and such, but knowing about US domestic stuff is also good. And I need to not get my information from destiel screencaps/my mother worriedly explaining her Fox News misinformation to me. genuinely somehow I am an adult now and I don't know where to do this. I used to get the NYT daily email for a few years but idk I've heard so much against the NYT now I'm not sure I can go subscribe to them. is there any chance you've got a source to recommend? a newspaper or journal? I just get so hung up on where to get my information I can't even start. I know that in theory I would read critically and can compare whatever it is I do read regularly against other sources. But it's just hard to find a starting point so. anyway if you have one I'd appreciate it. If not no worries, as I said this should be googleable I'm just overwhelmed. you just seem like a good person to ask but for all I know I'm way off base there lol, sorry I've followed you a long time but I know like two facts about you, you're just a cool and consistent feature of my dash to me.

whew this is a complicated question but you're going in the right direction (not watching televised news and staying the FUCK away from the NYT are a good start). my best advice, is to get to know local papers/magazines near you. they may be owned by a larger corporate parent (hence the dwindling of alt weeklies and independent sources), but if you follow them on each of your preferred social media (or if they have a newsletter, or an RSS feed or apple news or something you can do that too), they should cover both aggregated world/national news and local news. also look at your local public radio station - public radio, like the entire nonprofit industrial complex, has its own issues as well, but it's another good place to start.

the other best place to start is the library. your library should have electronic resources (aka access to press reader apps and such) that allow you to look at the latest articles and magazine editions, etc for free. you can get a feel for what news sources you like and don't like that way. any library system usually has a large selection, both electronically, and in person (and a lot of them subscribe to the same apps).

the way to make this sustainable is that as you browse, if there are articles (or if its radio, reported stories) that you particularly enjoy, IE: they were rigorous and thorough, had credible sources, did good service journalism, etc, find that journalist/producer and follow their social media. most journalists, regrettably, are on twitter, some have 0 social media presence, and many have their own newsletters. since journalism is a sketchy industry rn, following the reporters and producers themselves is a good way to keep trusted professionals in your feeds rather than the news brands that exploit them.

another thing to keep in mind - make sure you aren't just consuming US news sources. yes, it is harder to know what is credible for cultures that are not your own, but US-based (and in general Western based) large news sources really do not cover international shit well unless there are reporters with very specific beats (and even then they may come with their own cultural issues). there are also a lot of major news sources that just aggregate from the newswires (the AP, Reuters, etc), and sometimes I don't love them either. be vigilant when looking for international news.

all this being said, don't stress yourself out over this. it took a career in journalism (that i'm now thankfully out of), too much time on twitter, a degree in political communication, and lots and LOTS of unlearning for me to find sources I trust and build feeds. but even now it can be hard. and no, this is not easily google-able on purpose, bc google is now just made of who has the most money to pay them for ads and an expert in SEO to get higher ranking.

my biggest advice is to build SKILLS for yourself. learn to recognize biases that major outlets might have (if a news source just wholesale quotes cops or "authorities" only, if they scaremonger about China, if they have an opinion section full of questionable takes for clicks). learn to spot clickbait and rage bait, question how data is presented, etc.

also while i do think supporting independent journalism is good, major outlets like the NYT or corporate owned shit do not need your help, despite all the pleas they put on their websites. get an adblocker (on desktop, ublock origin, on mobile iOS the free versions of Disconnect's apps are great - if a website on either isnt working properly just turn it off and refresh, then turn it back on), because the ads in news articles are ATROCIOUS. get a paywall bypass extension (i use Bypass Paywalls Clean which has versions for every browser, and on iOS i use this shortcut), because you should never have to even make a free account and give these fuckers your email either.

i hope this helps at all!!!!

[xxmarvelouslifexx]

Hello to the handful of you who enjoy reading about my adventures. I need to do something besides work and doomscroll so I am attempting to visit all the museums in Balboa Park and making you all hear about it. Since I am driving into the city more, might as well get some visits in while I'm at it. Long post so I will hide the rest of it down below.

First up, kinda mentioned it before but home to the fun cannibalism exhibit:

Museum of Us (formerly known as the Museum of Man)

Anthropology museum! Had a bunch of fascinating exhibits I didn't even get through half of them. They had some replica mayan stelae, which as it turns out are from the 1915 Panama-California Exposition, which was held in Balboa Park and helped turn it into the jewel of San Diego that it is now. This updated exhibit on Mayan culture I thought was well done. In the intro they explained how they worked with Mayan consultants to ensure the exhibit was respectful and reflective of modern Mayan communities. Throughout there were excerpts of the Popol Wuj, one of the foundational sources of their mythology, which I thought was very cool. They also very much went into the impact of colonization on their communities.

My favorite exhibit of the ones I saw: Hostile Terrain 94. It was heavy, I almost cried to be honest. It explores the very deadly human impact of the 1994 "Prevention through Deterrence" US border policy. Which for my non-american followers was the purposeful choice to make official border ports of entry and their surroundings urban areas more difficult for undocumented migrants to cross, leaving them with limited options, such as crossing the barren Sonoran desert instead. The map you see above is the Arizona, USA and Sonora, Mexico border. Those tags you see all over the map are identification tags for all the bodies found of migrants attempting to make the journey. 3,205 from the 1990s through 2020 alone. Manila are identified, orange are unidentified remains.

My parents immigrated from Mexico, as did many of my tias and tios. They were all undocumented for a time. Luckily for them, they all crossed pre-1994 with few difficulties. So I couldn't help it think, that could've been them if things turned out differently. Reading through the tags, seeing how young some were, a woman 19 years old, barely even had a chance to live. And the unidentified remains. How many families are out there still searching for answers? The border isn't just a political talking point. Congress' inability to move on immigration reform is a disgrace when there is so much human suffering occurring at the border and the routes to it.

San Diego Natural History Museum

Moving on to lighter subjects. Dinosaurs and fossils! This place is huge, 4 floors of some amazing exhibits. Again did not even fully finish one floor. Really enjoyed the ecosystems corner that explained the very diverse habits that exist around here. Not to brag but beaches, mountains, deserts, chaparral we got it all.

Look at the ankylosaur and mammoth skeleton. Neat! And below the California Grizzly Bear. It's the one our state flag and also the one we very sadly hunted to extinction in 1922.

One last one because this is getting long.

Museum of Photographic Arts (part of the San Diego Museum of Art)

Apparitions, Bill Armstrong, 2005

They had some very interesting photos here! I had to document this one for you all. No, I was not out of focus, that is what the photos look like. And the subjects are described only as "roman sculptures". So are some of our guys hiding up there? One of them is looking awfully caesar-y to me.

They also have a collection of daguerreotype, ambrotype, and tintypes. Which I had no idea were different things. So fascinating to look at. Did these people imagine we'd still be looking at their photos almost 200 years later?

I've knocked two more museums off the list this week, so another post coming soon. Hope you actually enjoyed this very long post :)

[cringywhitedragon]

Preach.

Yes the world is not all sunshine and rainbows and can be an extremely cruel thing at times but it can also be just as kind.

I like to think of it like this, while yes there are a ton of bad people in this world, there are more often than not an equal if not more of good people who would be willing to stop what they are doing and give you something as simple as a few words of concern. For all you know, that little conversation could be all it takes to save a person’s life while they’re in their darkest moments.

Same goes for disagreements on how things should be done or beliefs. I have seen this many many many times on both sides of many arguments with your more vocal extremists, Shock posters, and those who purposely stir up drama to push their agenda which often has a tone of negative backlash and rarely makes people look good. It’s hard to change people’s minds but that’s why it’s best to conduct these manners much more civilly. Sit down and just talk to someone, share what you agree and disagree with and if you’re getting uncomfortable, change the subject or find something both of you like because that too like the paragraph mentioned before.

This is a big reason I hate seeing doomer culture and nihilism in general, it only works to bring negative connotations to people who might already have enough on their mind as is. Which is where I’m going to leave you with this advice: Maybe lay off the doomscrolling and short form content, delete that bookmark for that news site that you had been stalking for several days over politics or whatnot, log out of that social media or block tags relating to that topic that are giving you dread and maybe go outside or find something else more relaxing to do. Talk with that old friend who you haven’t spoken to in years or call your parents and let them know you are ok. Or simply find something that can occupy your time and mental health in a good way. Take up a hobby or maybe play your favorite video game.

But just remind yourself, this world is not all black and white. You are a part of it and help to shape what it will become, even through small actions.

The perception of the world being cruel and unkind can suddenly change if we realize that if you care about it, then the whole world can’t be so awful, and that there are others who care too. That powerful people can do awful things, but there are always those around who don’t agre and fight to end oppression, who try to do good things, because whenever someone does good in any small way they can, it still counts as doing good. It still counts. I’m grabbing you by the shoulders and telling you there’s hope as long as you keep caring and you keep trying. We’re not doomed. There is hope because you’re here. And it matters to just try.

[monetizeme]

"Thinkers like Jean-Paul Sartre and Hannah Arendt warned us that the point of this deluge is not to persuade, but to overwhelm and paralyze our capacity to act.

More recently, researchers have found that the viral outrage disseminated on social media in response to these ridiculous claims actually reduces the effectiveness of collective action.

The result is a media environment that keeps us in a state of debilitating fear and anger, endlessly reacting to our oppressors instead of organizing against them."

"For most people, social media gives you this sense that unless you care about everything, you care about nothing. You must try to swallow the world while it’s on fire,” said Cross. “But we didn’t evolve to be able to absorb this much info. It makes you devalue the work you can do in your community.”

It’s not that social media is fundamentally evil or bereft of any good qualities. Some of my best post-Twitter moments have been spent goofing around with mutuals on Bluesky, or waxing romantic about the joys of human creativity and art-making in an increasingly AI-infested world. But when it comes to addressing the problems we face, no amount of posting or passive info consumption is going to substitute the hard, unsexy work of organizing.

It’s a lesson the Extremely Online Left still hasn’t fully learned, failing where its political enemies succeed. Reactionary right-wing groups like the homophobic and transphobobic Moms for Liberty—which seeks to ban books from LGBTQ and BIPOC authors under the guise of “parental rights”—have claimed political victories by seizing power one public school board and small town at a time. Other reactionaries have similarly managed to take their pet grievances about diversity and wokeness to the national level by moving from online outrage to on-the-ground community organizing. You can d­iscourse and quote-dunk and fact-check until you’re blue in the face, but at a certain point, you have to stop and decide what truth you believe in.

The internet has conditioned us to constantly seek new information, as if becoming a sponge of bad news will eventually yield the final piece of a puzzle. But there is also such a thing as having enough information. As the internet continues to enshittify, maybe what we really need is to start trusting each other and our own collective sense of what is true and good. We don’t need any more irony-poisoned hot takes or cathartic, irreverent snark. We need to collectively decide what kind of world we actually do want, and what we’re willing to do to achieve it."

[gay-simple-and-chaotic]

vent below cut cw for self harm discussion, comparison of mental health struggles, attempted suicide and suicidal ideation

what is it with parents and not fucking listening to your boundaries. i'm a whole ass nearly 21 year old and I just want my mother to stop talking about politics because she's like a doomscroll embodied as a person. I told her to her face that the current state of the world has me legitimately suicidal and she basically brushed it off. Do I have to make an attempt for her to take me seriously? Do I need to try to kill myself? Is that what she wants?

sometimes I feel like being a passively suicidal person is so much worse than being actively because at least people will believe you if you try to off yourself but for me it's like...if I self harm, it's "why would you do that :/" and acting like I'm doing it for attention rather than as a last ditch attempt to feel a shred of control in life or just to hurt myself. But my little sister tries to kill herself and mom practically dotes on her forevermore and takes all her issues seriously.

I might've been raised the 'eldest' of my full-blooded siblings but I really am getting that middle child treatment. One day I hope i can get therapy so that I can just talk about this all with someone who will take me seriously and actually hear me out rather than trying to rationalize away my emotions.

And she's not even like, abusive or a bad mom! She's great! She just has this scummy tendency to not give a damn about my boundaries. I tell her not to talk about health issues because I have severe anxiety reactions and will melt down, and she will sometimes do it just to try to "motivate me" to take better care of myself, like! I know! I know!!! I GET IT!! STOP USING MY LITERAL TRIGGER AGAINST ME IT WONT WORK!!

gen x latchkey kid moment i fucking guess [bitter]

[perstella]

"reincarnation on a boeing 777–300ER" - reupload, orig. 10 january 2024

One year ago today, I boarded a plane that I never got off of.

LAX was the perfect enclosure of Americana: overpriced and undercooked KFC, rows of designer stores lit in doctor’s-office-esq LEDs, a security line comically unclear about which of us had to take our shoes off and which of us didn’t (I did). I had gotten to my gate four hours early. I tried to read, to journal, to people watch, or do anything to keep my mind off what was coming next. I called my parents. I let the insanity of my plan wash over me the same way historic floods had just washed through California.

I don’t remember much of the flight because I had taken Xanax from an anonymous source to make sure I could sleep for the journey. I do remember being extraordinarily, uncharacteristically nervous about the flight. It was 13 hours- the longest one I had ever been on by a long shot- but I otherwise usually loved flying. My nervousness made me nervous. I remember noticing how many British accents I overheard around me. I remember the middle seat being empty, and an old Australian man occupying the aisle one. I remember watching the lights of the Santa Monica Pier disappear into the black night. I remember waking up in rainy Auckland- a foreshadowing of the future, perhaps.

I stumbled out of my taxi and dumped my bags at the hostel, my first ever hostel, before hunting down caffeine from Starbucks (admittedly, I wanted something familiar). I devoured a pizza from Fat Badger’s, where I would, three months later, eat at again to say farewell to my manager-turned-friend Mark. I walked around the edge of Lake Wakatipu in awe: nothing, not even my pre-trip-anxiety dreams, could conjure up the landscape I was looking at.

Over the next two weeks, I would head north by traveler’s bus from Queenstown to Lake Tekapo, then to Christchurch and Akaroa, then Kaikoura, before taking an Interislander Ferry to Wellington and the north island. I then went through Taupo, then finally Auckland, saying goodbye to the friends I had made on my bus journeys and preparing to set off for Sydney, Australia. I would be there for another week, then fly back home to Virginia through a connection back at LAX. I would go home to my parents, my cat, my favorite snacks. My childhood bedroom with a twin bed I long outgrew and a Urban Outfitters duvet cover leftover from my freshman year of college. Books from my teenage years mixed on the shelves among the political science texts of my college days. Boxes half-opened of my belongings from my last apartment. I would spend the winter doomscrolling LinkedIn, hunting for a job that would probably never pay me enough. I would try to save up for a Master’s program in Washington, DC, for sometime in the future when I felt like I could stomach writing an essay again. I would try, and probably fail, to redecorate my room to better suit it for the weird pseudo-adulthood stage of life that I was now wandering through.

The best thing to happen to me is that none of that ever happened.

Through a strange series of events involving historic floods and incoming cyclones, being (sort of) homeless for a night in Auckland and also nearly stranded in a surfing town, and a few really convincing friends and even more convincing bottles of wine, I wound up staying in New Zealand for four months total. After Auckland, I went through the northlands to see Paihia and Cape Reinga, then Tauranga, then Raglan, Waitomo, and Auckland again, before flying back down to Queenstown where I would stay and work in a hostel for the next two months. From there, I could see Dunedin, the Fiordland National Park and Te Anau and Milford Sound, Arrowtown, and Wanaka.

(Rest assured, I will go back for them.)

Physically, yes, I suppose I did get off that first plane. In late April, as snow began to dust the tops of the Remarkables and Queenstown was preparing to once again become a ski town, I boarded a flight to Wellington, to Sydney, to LAX, back to Virginia. Physically, yes, I would stay in the US for the duration of the northern hemisphere’s summertime, working a sometimes-shit-sometimes-good traveling job, just to stay on the move. I would receive an acceptance email from my dream Master’s program, at a university in London, and at the start of September I would pack everything I could into four bags and move into a mold-filled flat in Southwark. I would travel 30 minutes by public transport to campus every day, wafting the smell of marijuana smoke and yet-to-be-cleaned trash bins, listening to lectures on Micheal Foucault, on wartime violence against women in Sierra Leone, on alternative theories of criminal justice and discourse on the role of AI in probation appeals. Physically, yes, I am sitting in the library avoiding writing my final papers by any means possible.

I am fully aware that it is redundant, unoriginal, cringe and even maybe tone-deaf to make any broad claims about how solo traveling will change your life! I am not here telling anyone to quit their jobs and make the absurd journey to two islands practically next door to Antarctica. I know I am the embarrassingly perfect image of the semester-at-sea kid. I know.

And yet, I can’t help but feel like I’ve been in a series of elaborate and lucid dreams since that plane took off from the California coast. At some point during that long haul flight, someone chopped my being up into a dozen tiny pieces and sewed them back together again, looser this time, still with the same sort of general “what is the purpose of life” anxiety but with less of the tension that used to hold my limbs together. Someone peeled off the first few layers of my skin, casting them into the wind, letting fall into the Pacific all of the brick and steel that used to encase my insides. The person dropped onto this cold and windy English island is not the person who sat waiting anxiously in Los Angeles this time last year.

Admittedly, it has been a happy funeral. I am sad to say goodbye to the version of myself that battled through so much, grieving the sort of circumstances that made her so hardened to the world. But I am grateful for her endurance and relieved to feel blood in my veins again. I am happy to stare out at the grey skyline of central London in exchange for a little more breath in my lungs.

Finally, I am rebuilt.

“Kia whakatōmuri te haere whakamua.”

I walk backwards into my future with my eyes fixed on my past.

[give-me-your-heart]

💤🎭💎👪😨 for all of dream♪st★r?

💎 DIAMOND - how rich are they? can they live the lifestyle they want to?

kira: star bakery is pretty popular, so her family makes slightly more than the average working class, but they arent “rich” exactly. shes perfectly happy with her current lifestyle!!

yuuka: she is extremely rich. her family makes millions and is world renowned. she doesnt care much for riches and the posh life, though. she longs for a more free and casual lifestyle like kira's.

reiki: reikis parents are accountants but dont make much more than the average working class. however, reiki herself has a part-time job at a fast food restaurant, a café and occasionally around vivid street, trying to save up for her own apartment. she'd prefer a more solitary home life, hence saving for her own home.

yume: made quite some money from streaming, her parents are clerks, average working class. shed like to live alone but she also jokes about sharing an apartment with reiki(she isnt joking.)

🎭 MASKS - do they act differently around certain people? what's different between the way they act around friends, family, strangers, etc.?

kira: she doesnt act much differently around anyone, though with her friends shes chattier and bubblier while with her family shes more responsible and hardworking. whenever dream♪st★r meets with agencies, people who want to collab, etc, she has a certain air of confidence and determination that really makes her stand out

yuuka: coming for a rich family, yuuka always has to maintain an elegant, graceful and polite facade with her family, strangers and even classmates. with her friends, however, she lets loose more, warm and kind, even showing her spacey side to her close friends

reiki: cold and quiet with strangers, classmates and sometimes friends. this TSUNDERE shows love and affection through harsh criticism. she isnt as cold with dream♪st★r, instead being more sensible and pretending shes done with their antics, although they do amuse her quite a bit

yume: OHOHOHO THIS GIRL. miss girl has a collection of personalities. online and to strangers shes bubbly, silly, only speaking in internet slang streamer secret-dream!! in school shes smart and cheery yume, answering questions shes asked and always willing to pose with fans! onstage shes lively and kind idol yume, with agencies shes responsible and calm and with dream♪st★r shes optimistic, whimsy and always making the most out of everything! the her that she doesnt show anyone else however, is vulnerable, clingy and quiet. looking for a silent place to escape for a while.

💤 SLEEPING - do they fall asleep easily? what helps them sleep?

kira: flops onto any comfortable surface and is out like a light just like that. she has these pretty leds in her room that she likes to sleep with because of the patterns and colours they make!!

yuuka: she does feel stiff and out-of-place in her fancy queen sized bed with a wholeass canopy, but she has lots of plushies that help her sleep

reiki: she doesnt struggle much with sleeping, but she always has a nice cup of tea before bed just in case, often reading a book to help her sleep.

yume: struggles the most with sleeping, tends to stay up until 4am cuddling a plushie while doomscrolling on social media. sometimes she even streams a little!!

😨 FEARFUL - when scared, do they go into "flight" or "fight"?

kira, yume and yuuka: flight

reiki: fight

👪 FAMILY - what is their family like? what is your ocs relationship to them? does your oc have any siblings?

kira: her mother's dead, her father is often busy with the bakery, but on weekends they have movie nights. she has one elder brother, one elder sister, and a pair of younger twins(both girls) kiras pretty tight-knit with her family. they dont wanna lose another member and treasure all the time they have with each other!!

yuuka: no siblings, and shes not close with her parents. theyre always busy with work and they placed all sorts pf strict standards on her growing up, so she doesnt like them much either. they have their tender family moments, but theyre extremely rare.

reiki: reiki was actually neglected growing up, which is why she sees vivid street as family more than her actual bio parents. she doesnt have any siblings too. her parents eventually realised their mistake and began acknowledging her more, but there had already been a rift by then. she loves her parents, really, but their lack of presence in her childhood did some irreversible damage. they look out for her and support all her decisions.

yume: yume has an older sister studying abroad. her parents dont involve themselves in her life much though. they have short and simple conversations from time to time but dont actually connect much. you cant even call their relationship strained because there isnt much of one. dont ask her about her family its. a touchy subject

[msamba]

BBC Radio 4 - Free Thinking, Positive and negative politics, 'intellectual vices' and the face you bring to work

Sir Richard Evans, Margaret Heffernan, Isabel Oakeshott, Quassim Cassam join Anne McElvoy to look at the ideas shaping our lives today. Are they optimists or pessimists ? How negative should we be in political campaigning, doomscrolling, parenting, writing reviews or giving academic feedback. What are intellectual vices and how might they help us think about truth and conspiracy theories? And…

[4chanandchill]

The way I see it, social media/the internet in itself is a net positive. The amount of access to information we currently have, the exposure to so many different types of people and opinions, etc. Without the internet, I’d be so much less informed on most things (politics, science, etc), and I’d be much less empathetic and open-minded. Huge fan.

The problem is much deeper and more subtle than the existence of phones/social media. The most obvious is the addictiveness of them: the 1hr or so a day I spend researching or socialising online are beneficial; the 5hrs I spend doomscrolling YouTube videos that don’t even interest me is very detrimental. But that’s still no where near the whole picture.

The entire structure of society has taken a rather antisocial turn in recent years, and it’s not clear if everyone being on their phones is a symptom or part of the cause (probably both). Of course the covid lockdown made this a lot worse, especially for people who were teenagers during it, but I noticed this prior to the lockdown too.

For one, at least where I live (London), it’s completely socially unacceptable to talk to strangers in most contexts. A lot of places that were traditionally meet-cute locations such as cafes are now “leave me tf alone” places. I hear that back in ye olde days it was common to make small talk on the train, now you’d be seen as a weirdo if you tried that. The only place it’s now acceptable to approach strangers is in pubs and clubs (though most Londoners seem to have mild socially anxiety and an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, which is definitely part of the problem), which is hell if you don’t drink. Many areas, especially in America, are sorely lacking in third spaces in general.

For teenagers, another huge problem is the rise of helicopter parenting. Until very recently it was completely normal for older children (8-10yo) to go outside unsupervised, whereas now this only starts around the age of 12. By then, they’ve already started to develop the habit of getting a large part of their interaction with their friends through text, and compensating with loneliness by spending a lot of time on social media. Even when they’re teenagers, it’s much more likely that they won’t be able to go out more than once a week or so and/or have strict curfews (when I was 16 my curfew was “sunset or 18:30, whichever is earlier”) and limits on where they can go. In areas that are heavily car-dependent, teenagers are essentially housebound until they get their license.

Making spontaneous plans is much less socially acceptable, and it seems that everyone is always busy for some reason. In my parents generation, kids would spend all day every day hanging out with their friends or the neighbourhood kids; in my generation we got one or two “play dates” a week. Even now, if I’m busy three days a week (and it seems I always am, even though I never actually do anything) and my friend is busy three days a week, we can only hang out once a week.

Tl;dr - We live in a society. People go on their phones because they have no one to talk to, and they have no one to talk to (partially) because everyone is on their phones. 1hr or so of social media a day is good, 5hrs - at the expense of socialising in person - is bad

[demonicintegrity]

It's also absolutely fair for hold "I am way too overwhelmed with all the news happening All At Once while I'm trying to live my life to suddenly become an expert in each with a grand amount of nuance that does it justice" and "It is irresponsible to just close my eyes and not at least try to give it some passing acknowledgement and listen when I can to at least stay aware that it's happening."

I am deeply sympathetic to those who feel like they don't know enough even with weeks of coverage of in the news to give a very strong stance. I get it. It's a lot to stay up to date on your own country's breaking news and politics as well as try to catch up on years of history and breaking news elsewhere. And that's not considering your personal life of being a full time employee/student/parent/who knows what else is happening in your life.

Shit is hard!!! Life is messy and difficult!!!! And as 2020 has thoroughly got threw our heads, the schools and jobs we work at hardly care about how the world around is doing when it comes to it's expectations of us personally!

But I'm also not going to pretend it's impossible to build a routine that does keep you relatively informed. On Tumblr alone you have the choice of what tags and blogs you follow, it's not hard to throw at least one of either in the dash to catch a few headlines and posts now and again. Same can be done on just about any social media you have. Ever since 2016 I have built a routine of eating breakfast while catching up on the late night shows that monologue the news so I have at least a basic idea of what headlines are breaking. And no, that's probably not enough for every situation and every moment. Nor does it mean not approaching any/all of it without critical thinking and an examination of both the source's and your own bias.

But as a bare minimum to at least keep aware of the headlines, I think that works fine. For me that has been the right amount of almost near constant exposure without it spiraling into doomscrolling.