#parasite you are awesome

[joffyworld]

NEW ACCOUNT TO FOLLOW :D

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[fishyfishyfishtimes]

I can't believe people would slander ocean sunfish for having a lot of parasites. Uh, hello?? Every animal in nature has parasites dipshit, it came free with living in an ecosystem

[sheepthatgobaa]

Artblock hit me like a truck and in honor of defeating it here's a shitpost

[gooopy]

can i know abt scully!!!

!!!!!! OUUPIOUOOUUUGHHH GHOOGGHHG !!!!!! TYYY FOR ASKING!!!!!!!!! scullys awesome he is an oc ive had for a bit and had a lotta time to develop and is also a revamped version of an old oc from when i was young trying to avoid making mary sues!! ohh i likesss him hes awesome

so scully is a he/him butch lesbian with soso many issues and problems and shit. he was raised by his pa, a stern bitter old veteran, and scullys ma ran off after he was born. his pa was hard on him, he wanted a son anyhow and when scully started acting masculine he thanked God for givin him a broken daughter and started teaching scully how to be a man. unfortunately this included such beautiful wonderful things such as 'men dont cry' and 'caring for animals makes you look weak' and stuff like that. as a kid scullys pa started getting sick, and they were too poor to do anything about it living in a shack that his pa built, so scully dropped out of middle school and picked up an apprenticeship with a local butcher!!!! his pa was bedridden, so scully took the laz-e-boy that his pa usually slept in, started working, started smoking, and started cooking. his pa told him that cooking was a womans job but he was busy dying in bed and scully was able to steal the scraps from his job so they got by. scullys dad died, and scully dug his pa's grave and nailed together two boards to make a cross and he didnt cry. he just started sleeping in the bed again

but thats all background shit because nowadays this is whats important: scully would throw himself into a volcano if a woman told him to. he falls so utterly head over heels for any gal who so much as looks his way its FUCKED. in school the gals realized this and got him beatin other people up for their lunch money and scully was happy to do it. nowadays he would give a lady the shirt off his back for a kiss blown his way. he holds doors for people and he stumbles over his words and he talks while he smokes by tucking the cigarette in the corner of his mouth. he cooks a lot now, the kitchen in that little shack slowly taking over the whole place like a mold, and he feeds the scraps and bone and gristle to the stray dogs and cats.

he was an angry cruel kid and he was tempered into a kind, awkward, super mega autistic adult. AND! he brews the scariest hooch ever in his house its so scary looking dont drink it. he can still hold his own in a fight but will just take the hits unless its to help a lady, in which case he is letting out years of trauma and anger on your face to turn it into ground beef. hes awesome he has so many issues and he sucks and i love him. i havnt managed to shove him fully into the ebautiful world of tf2 yet (he originated from disco elysium!) but i think it would be funny if hes dating scouts ma and now scout has a new stepdad who keeps trying to be his pal but doesnt got a handle on the whole 'fatherhood' thing as a concept yet.

I DONT HAVE AN UP TO DATE REF OF HIM BUT YOU MUST KNOW THAT HE HAS BIG BEAUTIFUL BROWN COW EYES !!!!!! hes awesome hes fucked up. i have another drawing of him beating someone up but ill post that seperately because its got blood

[saintadeline]

Ive been so busy lately I have barely been checking on here ngl but anyway a few days ago in the train i had really smart thoughts about a facet of bb and i really would like to expand on it a little bit at some point. Now if only i could remember how i worded it in my mind. The eternal lore fan struggle

[magutts]

Wow, thank you to everyone for the recent love on this ;_;

ALSO @specimentality I wanted to answer your tags if that's ok! This comic is titled that way because it is from the perspective of a parasitic worm speaking broadly about parasitic relationships, not necessarily just other helminths! And I feel it goes without saying that it's autobiographical as well, so a lot of this was drawn based on feelings rather than accuracy (prime example, the subject being an ambiguous...pinworm? tapeworm? It sure is something!).

Images of cordyceps infection have always felt hauntingly beautiful to me, so when I thought of the phrase "pure art", I went for the imagery that came to mind even if it seems out of place... I could have just called this "Parasitic Love" and it probably would have worked better, but it was VERY important to me the subject was a worm and so I named it appropriately. I hope that gives some insight into my thoughts! Thank you for the kind words and for engaging with my work <3

Helminthic Love.

I don't really relate to these feelings anymore, but parasites will always remain special to me because there is a version of me that did.

[pigswithwings]

no genuinely oceanblr would be so fun. the bloggers long for the sea and - oh shit what's t [is enveloped by the waves]

0 notes 🔁❤️

🦈 jaws-little-brother Follow

Community Pool: Is water wet?

yeah ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛ (67.3%)

no ⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ (32.7%)

Remaining time: 4 moon cycles

🐡 on-line-off-hook Follow

what the kelp are you guys on.

185 notes 🔁❤️

🕳️ coelacanth-official ☑️☑️☑️☑️ Follow

decade 23 off the South African coast ... they ain't find me yet but when they do they're gonna be real surprised

40,739 notes 🔁❤️

🐌 justasnailfish Follow

its so quiet here .. nobody. no friends?

🔍 ms-magnap1nna Follow

We can be friends. come closer

7 notes 🔁❤️

🦐 shrimpathy-for-the-villain Follow

group of friends & i just won a battle against a whale, got a trophy (real)

🌑 ohboy-baleen-deactivated

No you didn't. No you did not. There's literally zero possible chance of this happening, regardless of how many other shrimp were with you because that is Logistically. Impossible. This is so fake oh my fucking cod

🦐 shrimpathy-for-the-villain Follow

ok. group of friends & i sitting inside a whales mouth, about to be krilled (real)

211 notes 🔁❤️

🐚 is0p0d-isle Follow

suuuuuper tired of all the negativity. can we have some appreciation for the "ugly" and "scary" fishes already? thank u blobfish, thank u viperfish, thank u goblin sharks, thank u everyone else who is socially isolated bc of how they look!! ur awesome!!

94 notes 🔁❤️

🐠 reeffraff Follow

human slang is so boring. what the hell is a "fridge". what's a "stove". oh, you have a "microwave"? i see 10 meter tall waves every day. loser.

🐬 atlantic-potion Follow

but they were right about "tubular", you can't deny it

🐠 reeffraff Follow

yes i absolutely can. "tubular"? are you kidding me? any fry on the sandbar could come up with that one. "tubular" is the word you would use to describe a coral and nothing else. it's lame. you have the linguistical taste of a tongue parasite.

🐬 atlantic-potion Follow

say that to my beak you coward

🐠 reeffraff Follow

maybe i WILL

🚹 surface-dweller ☑️☑️ Follow

holy shit, those fish are fighting! mary get the camera!

🐠 reeffraff Follow

GET THE WHAT?

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Swirlypod

Debut: Super Mario Bros. Wonder

YIPPEE YAHOO! A brand swirlin' new snail fresh for 2023! It has been quite a long time now since we've gotten a new Mario snail, and even since I've posted about one, since I covered all the snailiest Mario snails a while ago. But lookie here! Snaily snaily snail for me to see and for you to view!

Swirlypod is so delightful! To get this out of the way first, yes, its eyes are not on the ends of stalks. Yes, this is good and okay. Some snails are like that! Especially freshwater snails. And that's the kind of snail that this snail seems to be! While sometimes seen on land, it is also seen emerging from (poisonous) swamps. It can breathe that!

Swirlypod's face is just so, so precious. Its big, innocent, curious eyes experiencing the world in the way only a snail could! Its big ol' bulbous antennae, more bulbous than they have any right being, more like a nudibranch's than a normal snail's! And its mouth! I think that's its mouth? It's like three scrumbly tentacles ready to scrumble down some delicious fungus!

Did you know that the salt marsh snail Littoraria irrorata is able to FARM fungus? They damage marsh grasses to create large wounds for fungus to grow in, and even use their own poop as fertilizer! Snails can FARM!

Yes, indeed, what a wonderful snail we have here! Thank you, Super Mario Bros. Wonder!

...Hey! That shell comes right off! Now it's all Pod, with no Swirly! Does this mean Lime is The Impostor? I may have just asked you, but that was rhetorical. Don't ask me, because I don't know! Removable shells are a common ability for cartoon snails, and of course, the turtles of this world also have removable shells. I think it doesn't really mean much at all! Though, the idea of a "hermit slug" is very amusing. A snail who can't be bothered to grow its own shell. Maybe it wants to switch shells for different styles sometimes. A slow victim of fast fashion!

Wonder is one of those games where Koopa Troopas retreat into their shells when stomped, so Swirlypod is sort of a way to have Beach Koopa in the same game as the more standardly-behaving Koopa! Once it gets back on its foot, it will try to squirm back into a shell, if one is available. You can give it back! Just drop it down at your feet, and Swirlypod will have a home once more!

Another thing that sets Swirlypods apart from Koopas is that they are sticky slimy and can slither up and down vertical surfaces! Just like in real life! They don't only climb on the left and right sides of surfaces, either. They can even go on the surface facing the screen! Not just anyone is allowed to do that!

I am saving what may be the best tidbit for last! There is a good chance Swirlypod's bulbous antennae look familiar to you. That's because they look just like Leucochloridium paradoxum, the green-banded broodsac, everyone's favorite snail parasite! The flatworm that inhabits a snail's eyestalks, making them look more like caterpillars to get a bird to eat them so they can continue their life cycle! Swirlypod definitely isn't supposed to be like, ACTUALLY infected by this funny worm, but I think the resemblance is very much intentional, between the shape and coloring. And that is so awesome to see! This isn't even meant to be a scary snail or anything, but they represented a freaky parasite anyway!

[wilwheaton]

I've been playing Baldur's Gate 3 on my PS5, which isn't the most portable thing in the world. I anticipate a lot of travel next year, so I bought it on Steam and got it running on my Steamdeck, so I can take it with me. Steam works so well with Linux, but I was having a hell of a time getting it to work with Proton, until a few days ago.

My character on PS5 was carefully built from the ground up. I think I spent 2 hours designing her and writing her story in my head. That was great, and not something I needed to do again, so I told it to just randomize everything. That would push me out of my comfort zone, and I'd get to experience a different story and experience than I do already.

The game generated a Tiefling Sorcerer for me, with a background in history and lore. Awesome. That's pretty different from my vengeance paladin with an outsider background.

Real quick: since I first posted about playing BG3, the number one FAQ is "do you roll as badly in this game as you do in real life?"

The answer to that is "I've had a shocking number of single digit rolls, but I turned on Karmic Dice because holy shit I have suffered ENOUGH, and I will take the option."

But with this new character (who I am calling Tav), I went ahead and turned it off, just to see.

Okay. I wake up. I see the parasite pool, and among my options is [INVESTIGATION] with a +1 bonus. That totally fits my character's story. She wants to get out of this place, but she is so compelled to understand things, to acquire knowledge and understanding, she goes straight to where the Mindflayer pulled out the tadpole, and rolls Investigation with +1. Let's find out WTF is going on! Let's do some HISTORY INVESTIGATION IN THIS MOTHER!

I rolled a 2.

So for everyone who has been asking, based on this admittedly small sample size, yes. Yes, the dice hate me, even when they are digital.

[justwonder113]

Sharing a bed with Han

Chan; Lee Know ; Changbin; Hyunjin; Han; Felix; Seungmin; IN;

My Masterlist

Summary: While in your twenties you do lot's of crazy stuff like walking up to a stranger and claiming to him that you're dating now. One bed trope; Friends? to lovers; Idiots in Love. Reader and Han matching each other's freak Warning: CURSING It's me who's surprised there, one or two adult jokes. Please inform me if I miss anything. Not proofread. A/N- Hey my lovelies I'm sorry I was absent for so long. Apart from studying I also started to work which took much more time and energy than I thought and my mental health wasn't also the best. But thankfully I'm feeling much better now and I quit that shithole too so I have time to get back to writing, which I'm really excited about. I came up with some new ideas and I can't wait to write it. Requests are open too so if you have anything you want me to write feel freeto ask. Reblogs and comments are highly appreciated. Also I want to thank you all for all the love and support you have given me it means the world to me. Feel free to share your thought I just love knowing what you think about my work^^ Word count- 3k

Inspired by this post right here⬇️ It immediately made me think of Han

Being in your twenties is surely an interesting experience. One might expect of you to be this grown up adult making this important decisions, being all busy doing important stuff, paving your own way in life making connections etc... and You do! There's no way you can escape all that grown up shit. But being in your twenties is also really awesome and interesting because despite being this hardworking people who have their shit together people in their twenties also have the tendency to do a complete 180 and to put it simply do some batshit crazy things and then carry on like it's just a regular Tuesday. Well you would know you're in your twenties and you really just proved yourself your point.

You considered yourself quite normal, rational with few crazyish tendencies because you were human after all. To put it simply you were an average person living their life. Like others you were trying to pave your own way in life, hence why you were here in this university working your ass off. You wouldn't call yourself impulsive or crazy even though you had done your share of let's just say some questionable stuff. Nothing special right? But sometimes the parasites the demon in you just took over. Like now, what the hell was up?

To paint the situation more clearly you were just finished with your midterms and came out of your last exam. Of course it took a lot of energy and effort from you, heck you were barely standing on your feet from fatigue of couple sleepless nights. Maybe it is what made you act up? Not sleeping for really long time made people lose their minds, you had read about the Russian sleep experiment who gave a fuck if it was a creepy pasta.

You were the first to come out of the exam room and obviously overjoyed from bending over the most difficult subject of the semester. You really outdid yourself, all your hard work and dedication paying off. Well being beyond giddy with excitement you wanted to leap from joy to express your happiness.

It's like you felt the adrenaline levels in your body rise, that's when you noticed a boy your age come out of the exam room next to the one you just left. He also looked really happy and pleased wit himself.

Unable to contain your excitement you walked up to the boy who looked quite handsome you might add, and raised your hands and yelled high five. Were you disrupting other students? -Maybe. Did you care? -No not really. The boy was confused for a second but quickly came back to his senses and high fived you. And this is when a really dumb idea stuck you and before you could even think it over and talk some sense into yourself you intervened your hands and got a little closer to him. A smile crept up your face, somehow amused at the poor boys visible confusion. To be honest you had never seen someone who looked so cute while confused. "We're dating now, love you bae." You couldn't believe this words left your mouth and before you could embarrass yourself even more you quickly left leaving the poor boy behind. God he must have been so shocked.

One might think that that's where thing ended up right? And who would blame you? Any rational person would think that you're crazy and/or delusional and would make sure to avoid you at all cost. But we're not talking about rational people in this tale and things didn't end up there. As it turns out the boy, his name being Han Jisung as you came to know him, was just as crazy as you if sometimes not more. For the past year since that happened, that semester and one more he never missed out and whenever he saw you walking in the hallway he always made sure to wave at you all excited and as dramatically loud as possible yell "Hey baby". It didn't matter what the distance between you was, whether you were on the opposite ends of the hallway of standing literally next to each other, everyone's eyes always would end up on you some amused, some annoyed but always all eyeson you two. You always felt torn between finding his antics absolutely adorable and this whole interaction being your highlight of Uni and at the same time wanting to die of shame for all that unnecessary attention. Honestly, at this point, you had quite not so (not at all) small crush on him.

That also lead to your dilemma. Despite basically half of the uni thinking that you and Han were dating you obviously weren't. But you were definitely friends. You first normally talked to him when you were at the party one of his friends threw. To be honest, you weren't completely feeling yourself that day, and when things got a bit too overwhelming you excused yourself and sneaked away to the balcony where you found him. He greeted you as per usual, not failing to put a smile on your face and suddenly you forgot you were feeling tired and shitty. You talked a little about how parties sometimes could be a little too much and then something just clicked! Both of you completely forgot about the party you spent hours talking about everything and nothing at the same time, and you felt so at peace while also feeling excited and completely immersed in conversation. You two got even more close when your friend started dating his friend. Naturally both your friend groups got closer to the point that now all of you decided to enjoy much awaited free time together, and here you were now in the beautiful beach house you had rented. Looking stunned at the double bed you and Han were supposed to share.

You really liked him, way much more since you got to know him better and got closer to him. You couldn't even imagine not having him in your life. Which is why you kept your mouth shut about your feelings. There were few moments where you thought that maybe he did reciprocate your feelings but knowing how flirty and goofy his personality was you decided to let it go and not to hold tightly to the frail branch. You wouldn't risk losing him as a friend. He was the person who made you believe in soulmates. He was your comfort person, someone you could lean on, your source of joy and excitement. You loved how he literally never failed to match your freak and vice versa and all the crazy stuff you did. He gave a new meaning to being alive!

God you were really going off topic, as you could tell you really liked him, which is why you felt beyond embarrassed when you got sorted in the same room as him, and especially now that you found out that there was only a double bed in the room. Yes you two were close and both of you were used to being touchy to each other but you had never once slept together in the same space.

You cursed yourself for agreeing to your friend to switch rooms with her since she wanted to be with her boyfriend Chan, who was supposed to be Han's roommate. You thought that it was not a big deal because you thought there would be two separate beds, you didn't really bother to check since all you wanted was to get sorted quickly and go to sleep as fast as possible. You would so smack her in the morning, you wouldn't risk going into her room now afraid of seeing not so pg stuff. This was the last time you were going to be considerate to your friends! Especially not after she whispered to you before heading to her room that this was your chance with Han and advising you use protection. Like you needed that on top of everything. Your mind already felt like blowing up!

God you were feeling so awkward you couldn't even fully enjoy how beautiful and perfect everything was, not even how this fluffy straight out of heaven bed was basically calling your name, it basically felt like it was tormenting you.

"Well this is interesting." You tried to break the silence and looked over at Han who looked like he wasn't breathing, God just what did Felix and Minho whisper to him? "Han?" you called out to him a bit alarmed when you noticed or maybe hallucinated who even knows that he was starting to pale. Well it did work and he quickly snapped out of it and gathered himself.

"Listen if you feel awkward about this I understand, I can go sleep in the living room." Han spoke with soft reassuring voice and it did help calming your nerves a little making you fell all soft inside. You had to pull yourself together.

"Oh no Hannie, that couch looked uncomfortable as hell, there's no way you can sleep on that your back will hate you for it!" You tried to reason, and Han thought for a second before bringing up another idea about sleeping on the floor but you didn't even let him finish the sentence. "Listen Ji, this is just as much your vocation as it is mine. You're here to relax and have a good time not to sleep on the floor! Thank you for being considerate, I really appreciate that, but I can't make you sleep on the floor. As long as you're comfortable with it we can share a bed. We're both adults let's not make a big deal out of this." Han looked at you in the eyes for a as if second making sure you were really okay with this then nodded his head softly.

"I'll take a shower first if that's okay with you? Han looked a bit dazed for a second but he quickly snapped out of it. "Yeah sure" He stuttered out and as if to distract himself went over to his bag to search for something.

You couldn't help but squeal on the inside about how cute he was being while heading to the bathroom but once it actually dawned on you that you would be sharing a bed you kinda wanted to bash your head against the wall it just felt like a right thing to do.

You made sure to thoroughly wash yourself to the point that when you got out of the shower you were convinced that you were sparkling. You quickly did your skincare, got dressed in your cute new set of pyjamas and even applied some perfume for that extra fresh feeling. Yup you were definetly sparkling. Also the way that Jisung visibly gulped the second he saw you enter the room? Just perfection, an ideal ego boost! Maybe sharing a room with him wasn't such a bad idea.

Han quickly washed up and here you were in the dimly lit room, in the same bed as him. The bed wasn't as big as it seemed, despite keeping your distance you could still feel his bodyheat, hear his every breath, smell his body wash and his natural a bit musky scent...God you felt like a creep! How the fuck were you supposed to sleep in here?

Han was also visibly nervous your bed was almost vibrating from his constant fidgeting and despite finding him cute and all that if he didn't stop in the next five seconds you would smother him with your pillow. Sighing to yourself you started bracing yourself that you two wouldn't get much sleep today.

Jokes on you you were out like a light switch in like 20 minutes. You only awoke because a suspicious sound coming from the next room, you know the one you don't really want checking. Also by the way his hands tightened around your waist Han was awake too. Wait what?

As if fanfiction gods were laughing at you from above you were all tangled up with Han as if him hugging your waist and you using his chest as a pillow wasn't enough. Oh yes you were both adults you could control yourselves nothing would happen, you just HAD to do a speech!

Okay back to important stuff, what the hell were you supposed to do now?- pretend to be asleep? There's no way Han hadn't noticed that you were awake you two were conjoined like Siamese twins! He probably could even tell the slightest shift in your pulse which went up a lot in this 30 seconds in fact you were pretty sure you would have either panic attack or would just simply pass out. It was 50\50.

God how did you manage to find yourself in this situation? And more importantly, who the fuck smells so good and feels this comfortable to hold? This was so not fair!

Han's soft call of your name brought you back from whatever the hell was going inside your head, his voice was warm asking you if you were awake.

"Yes..."You answered quietly your voice muffled a bit from your face still being smushed on his chest. There's no way you could turn to your pillow after this.

"I, uhm..." - Han begin to talk but stammered, unable to find his words, meanwhile you're stuck in the daze, your mind absolutely flipping over how hot his morning voice is. There was no need to mention the state of your heart, that bitch was a goner.

Feeling frustrated with himself Han sighed, his arms slightly tightening around you. You don't know what compels you but you looked up, maybe curiosity to know what was on his mind, thinking maybe you can read his face. The sight has you left in awestruck. His hair is all disheveled but somehow looking so fluffy and soft you really wish you can slide your fingers through his locks. His eyes which are unable to hold your gaze sparkle with the morning light. In fact you're convinced if you hadn't already you would surely fall for him from this sight alone.

'"What is it Ji?" You ask after a few seconds of awkward silence, after noting how his thumb on his hand which still lies on your waist twitches occasionally, how his chest is rising up and down quicker than normal, how his breathing isn't as even as is should be.'"What is it Ji?" You ask after a few seconds of awkward silence, after noting how his thumb on his hand which still lies on your waist twitches occasionally, how his chest is rising up and down quicker than normal, how his breathing isn't as even as is should be.

One second he is looking into your eyes the next he has his face covered with his hands whining about something you can't descipher.

"Ji?" - You couldn't mask your surprise.

"You can't look at me like that!"

"Sorry? Like what?"

Jisung looked through his fingers and scoffed as if the answer to that question was the most obvious thing ever. He sighed in defeat when he noticed that you in fact had no clue what was going on.

"All pretty and stuff." You couldn't help but grin once his answer actually dawned on you. God he was too cute for his own good.

"You think I'm pretty?"

He looked at you with unimpressed expression, then he took the pillow from right under his head and put it on his face and screamed into it like dramatic baby he was. Looking at his theatrics you couldn't help but laugh which resulted disapproving grunt of protest which backfired because it only made you laugh even more.

"Oh come on now, don't be mad! It's not everyday you hear your crush admit you're pretty!" You couldn't help but tease and you waited for your answer to dawn on him.

"Still you shouldn't tease!" Han whined from under his pillow. You wondered how much time would he need to actually realize that you admitted you had a crush on him.

"Come on Jiji! Take off the pillow!"

"No I'm dying here!" He really shouldn't spend so much time with Jisung.

And then there was a pause for a second , then two and by the third the pillow covering his face was thrown from the bed into the room somewhere and Jisung staring at you with his wide boba eyes.

"Wait a minute!"

"There it is! Took you some time pretty boy, almost had me worried." You immediately quipped back.

"Don't fluster me woman I'm having a serious moment here what do your crush?!"

"I meant that I like a pretty boy named Han Jisung but for some reason he is taking his sweet time to get that."

"You have a crush on me?" You couldn't really tell if he was teasing or if he was in awe but knowing him he could manage and do both at the same time. He sure was an unique person.

"Good thing that you're cute pretty boy."

"Stop flustering me!"

"Should I kiss you instead?"

The way Jisung whined was beyond adorable honestly how could you not tease him? Now it was your pillow that was stolen and covering his face and his little squeals,

"Hey Ji." You called after a second, he immediately answered a pillow still on his face.

"Does this mean that we're actually dating now?" You wanted to keep your teasing tone but you couldn't really mask your hopefulness. He immediately got rid of the pillow, the embarrassment long forgotten, in second Jisung had you in his arms hugging you tightly he even gave you an obnoxiously loud smooch on your cheek.

"Absolutely baby." There it was his sweet gummy smile. There's no way you could resist that, softly holding his soft cheek you leaned in and connected your lips into a short but sweet kiss. Jisung looked awestruck for a second but this time he immediately came back to his senses and leaned in to connect your lips into much more passionate kiss, well tried to at least, neither of you could stop smiling after all. You really had to thank your friend in the morning, sharing a bed with Han was surely one of the best decisions you had ever made.

[mo0nfairy]

Ughhhh I neeeeeed part 3 of our guard puppy leon😭😭😭

That was so so good.

Like are you an angel??? How can you write so beautifully??

part 1. part 2. part 4.

tw :: re4 spoilers, obsessive!leon, yandere!leon, guns, explosions, being knocked out, parasites, some obsessive!ashley too.

⸺ eeeek !! ur too sweet! i've been having lots and lots of thoughts about this batshit-insane puppy dog. so, ask and you shall receive ~~

through trial and error (and leon's incessant suggestions to just go home together. you disagree with his suggestion and he can never say no to you, after all), you find ashley hiding in the church. and the immediate liking she takes to you is bridging on the cusp of creepy. what's even creepier is your guard-dog's reaction to such. you appreciate the sweetness the two have for you and how it helps keep you afloat in this absolute hellhole, but something still stalks in the back of your head...

you can't trust leon. you have no idea why, but with every ledge he helps you over or with every drop he catches you from, there is that looming shadow that lurks within you. it's a sense of dread that hangs heavy in your stomach, almost like hanging over the hill of a rollercoaster. there's alarms that blare whenever he gets too close, all that seem to be warning you to get as far away from this man as you can. and for why, you cannot tell. he is kind-hearted, brave, and has saved you from practically every abomination known on planet earth. so, why don't you trust him?

maybe it's the look in his eye. how his gaze for you is practically seeping with sunshine, but whenever he looks at the squeaky mouse on your hip, there's an uncanny shift towards something much darker. (ashley breathes within a mile radius of you and leon literally becomes the gif ^^). his perceptible distaste towards her goes further than his expressive eyes, unfortunately. it's "accidentally" dropping her when she jumps from the ledge, stifling a laugh at her pain only to immediately go red with rage when you help her from the ground. "falling over" and nearly knocking ashley head-first off a ledge; tending to a splinter you got while she tries to avoid being kidnapped by literally 73 los ganados.

ashley's dislike towards the man her father sent to retrieve her is perceptible, too. and her liking to you is even more evident. she'll cower in your embrace when leon shoots his gun a little too close to her ear, smirking at him over your shoulder when she sees how enraged it makes him. she'll interlock your fingers with hers due to being “afraid,” outright refusing to let go from thereon out; she'll ramble about her awesome life as the president's daughter, how astonishing she finds you to be, and how many riches she has (and how she can provide for you *cough, cough*). it's all so bewildering — you have all somehow managed to survive countless near-death experiences and yet, both of them are nothing but daisies and rainbows when your attention is on them.

most importantly, it is so fucking overwhelming. you wonder if their suffocating clinginess is the worst thing you'll actually face in this hellhole.

you're so caught up in avoiding the affections of these two and surviving in the process, you almost completely forget about your memory loss. you have history with this man, whomever he may be. and during trips to the merchant and the shooting range, you think he'll enlighten you on these forgotten pieces while you take a second to breathe. but, he never does. he either glares daggers into the girl at your hip or thoroughly checks your body for wounds you fruitlessly assure him don't exist. so, you guess you only have yourself and your goldfish-like memory to rely on.

all you can remember is his sweet soul, baby-face, and, rather, unconventional displays of affection. and you assume that this is how far the iceberg goes. just you and this lovesick boy in raccoon city. together. but oh, how wrong you were.

the three of you later find yourselves in the amber storeroom. you trace your fingers upon the crevices of the large hunk of amber in front of you, watching in disgust as the parasites within squirm like dying cockroaches. the topic of escaping this nightmare soon arose. you want to make it to luis' laboratory for the purpose of curing ashley of her infection, despite having to separate for a short period of time to retrieve the proper materials. leon just wants to get himself and you out of here, to where you'll live happily ever after in each other's arms.

"it's not too to turn back, you know. if we make it to the lab, we can save ashley, leon. we'll only have to seperate for a second, it's no biggie!" your suggestion falls on deaf ears, much to your dismay.

"not a chance. you're stuck with me to the end." you feel your heart drop at leon's response. the saying unlocks something within you, something you knew you never wanted to come out. it hits you like a train; dread permeates your entire being. you're stuck with me to the end.

an unfamiliar voice then fills the room. before you even have a picosecond to process the additional presence and leon's previous statement, you feel his hand on your arm, to where you're then swung behind him. you see the saddler from your stance over leon's shoulder, giving his whole villain monologue. you managed to derive only one piece on information from the cloaked creature before you: we are all fucked.

black veins travel up the neck of the blonde in front of you. he then falls to his knees, gun clattering onto the floor. ink-black strings spread upon ashley's face, the white of her eyes morphing into a sinister red. the color stiffly frames the green hue of her irises. sobs rack through her body; you hear a whimper of your name escape her mouth. an unseen force causes her to bend down and grasp hold of the gun, the atmosphere overwhelmingly intense. and as if she were a doll, the force pushes each foot in front of the other. closer to you.

you take a cautious step away from her, only to feel your back hit a surface. you turn to meet the chest of someone adorned head-to-toe in white cloth, ragged ropes tied around their waist and neck. their purple, ghastly hand the clutches onto your wrist like a lifeline, the pain causing you to hiss in response. you try and pull away with all of your might, but their inhuman abilities overpower your own. before your bones can crack beneath the sheer force of their strength, a gunshot permeates. your ears ring, thus using your eyes to identify the sudden intrusion of sound. the figure before you is now adorned in blood as it cascades down their once-white cloak. ashley persevered and fought through the infection seeping through her veins to save your life, but you’re too busy staring at the scene before you to realize.

"no... please! please, don't make me!" the force of the saddler returns, however. and the devastated voice of ashley only comes out in a quiet hum, with your hearing still disoriented from the gunshot.

this leaves you here, where you never thought you'd be. while you're gaze is locked on the body ashley brutalized, you're taken by surprise when you feel your body whipped around completely. her arm snakes around your neck as if you were prey, the other pressing the cold surface of the gun's barrel to your temple. you thrash and fight, but your efforts are merely pathetic in comparison to her newly supernatural power.

"we don't need another foolish lamb in our way. sweet child, do not resist!" his voice feels like a chill traveling up your spine. faint and ghostly, but all-too terrifying in the same breath.

you can feel ashley cry in your ear, begging the monster in front of you to let you both go. closing your eyes, you pray to whatever almighty being truly exists that you'll soon wake up back in your bed. then, you'll enjoy your breakfast and pantomime to your cat about the insane dream you just had. but, ashley's hyperventilated breaths still fan against your face and her grasp on you is still air-tight. as much as you wish it wasn't, this is your reality. and, inevitably, you will most likely die in the embrace of the girl you fought tooth-and-nail to save.

leon still clenches his body in agony; his gaze remaining locked to the ground beneath him. his attempts to fight against the pain with every sliver of strength in his body were futile. but, in a flare of clarity, leon is fortunately able to overcome the immense pain momentarily. his blue eyes, wide as dinner plates, frantically search around for you. and the scene he finds behind him causes his heart to sink into oblivion.

"no!" the sheer anguish in his cry is enough to grasp the attention of every presence in the room. 6 years. 6 years. he has been waiting over 2,190 miserable days to be with you. and as i stated before, like hell will he let you slip from his grasp again.

leon scrambles to his feet. but, before he can bring you into his tenacious embrace, kill everything that moves, and vow to never ever let anything like this happen to you ever again, that same force stops him within his stance. his hands halt inches from your face, so, so close, as he desperately reaches out to you. leon fights and resists, despite the agony swimming in his black-colored veins from doing such. he must get to you, no matter how much pain and suffering he must endure.

you are everything he could ever need; you are the very definition of his existence. his sobs rival those of someone overcome with grief and he is terrified of the fact that it may be him momentarily. so close to happiness, but now all alone. once again and forevermore. you can only watch in trepidation as he shakes with pure terror, muffled cries of "take me instead" and "please, anyone but them!" escaping through clenched teeth.

with the faint click of ashley's dainty finger, she pulls on the trigger. there is nothing.

silence hits the room like a tsunami. you're alive, but you don't dare let yourself hope. waiting for the other shoe to drop, it never falls. ashley's grip on you relaxes, to where you rip her arms off of you and practically throw yourself across the room. anywhere far from the insanity caused by this horrid infection. the two people you survived hell with are still under the trance, however. miserable cries protruding through the quiet; bodies shivering like someone who has been thrown into a winter lake. their eyes peer to their side, desperate to move their heads to look at you and ensure your safety.

you're still attempting to process what had just occured when you suddenly hear rumbling echoing in the distance. something soars through the sky, landing right at the feet of the saddler and his minions. chaos pervades as an explosion waves through the room, causing every piece of matter to ascend into the air, including yourself. you’re flung into the wind, where you then land harshly against the unforgiving ground. you cough into your arm in an attempt to rid your body of the smoke satiating your lungs.

"sorry, bad traffic! one combat chopper, compliments of hunnigan!" you hear the eccentric voice, the mention of hunnigan, the whirring of a helicopter and finally smile to yourself for the first time in what feels like years. help! it’s finally here!

a substance trickles down your forehead and down the expanse of your face. you bring your fingers to your skin, only to find the digits to be adorned with warm blood. following the trace, you soon realize during the pandemonium of the eruption, something had hit you square in the skull. fuck.

you hear a shout of your name before everything goes dark.

[mothhue]

fuck you *swaps your under waters*

hat kid + bow kid (now parasitic sea slugs) swap with mustache kid (now a seal maybe)

conductor (salamander) swaps with DJ grooves (sunfish)

the snatcher (electric eel laviathan) swaps with vanessa (an anglerfish whos lure doesnt work very well) (so they're the same fish but snatcher is electric now)

mafia boss (clam) swaps with cat chef (catfish)

omigosh alternate fish real...

(OUGH you thought of swapped versions?? That's so awesome thank you!)

[joffyworld]

Oh parasite these are really cool!

Resigned how I draw the lamb, I like this version a lot more. 🐑

[daughterofheartshaven]

A Virgin New Adventures reading guide

I told @gotyouanyway that I'd give them my reading guide for the Virgin New adventures that I made for a friend a while back and posting it publicly was easy and also means other people can use this too. I wrote this back in 2021, but stand by it from what I remember. It has been like 5-6 years since I read some of these books, so if I rated your favorite too low lemme know and I'll give it a re-read.

This might not be that helpful if you want to pick just a few books - I designed it more to streamline VNA experiance

The key:

1 - I'd recommend skipping

2 - Eh. You can skip, but there is at least something to be gained by reading it

3 - I would recommend reading this. It's not plot-critical, but it is a good read or useful setup

4 - Read this for sure. It's either plot-relevant, or just that damn good (or both).

Timewyrm: Genesys - 4 (introduces the timewyrm and the series; unfortunately it's also not great.)

Timewyrm: Exodus - 3 (continues the timewyrm story, and is a fairly straightforward but interesting story)

Timewyrm: Apocalypse - 2 (eh. Not much for or against it either way)

Timewyrm: Revelation - 4 (concludes the timewyrm arc with style)

Cat's Cradle: Time's Crucible - 3 (Good if you can wrap you head around it)

Cat's Cradle: Warhead - 2 (depressing as all get out, but very well written)

Cat's Cradle: Witch Mark - 3 (just plain weird. Does finish the current arc and sets up Return of the Living Dad)

Nightshade - 2 (kinda weird. Notable as the first Mark Gatiss story)

Love and War - 4 (plot-relevant. Also awesome)

Transit -4 (Introduces important recurring character. Hard to follow but really good even if you can't follow it)

The Highest Science - 3 (good story, but ultimately not amazingly important)

The Pit - 1 (I did not enjoy)

Deceit - 4 (Not a great read, but important to the plot)

Lucifer Rising - 4 (Amazing, with important character development for our protagonists)

White Darkness - 2 (first David A. McIntee novel, but not especially gripping)

Shadowmind - 3 (good demonstration of where Ace and Benny are as characters, vaguely interesting plot)

Birthright - 3 (good character piece for Ace and Benny, shows a darker side to the Doctor without being dumb about it)

Iceberg - 2 (plot is messy and weird. Only read if you need the Doctor's half of the story from Birthright)

Blood Heat - 4 (starts alternate universe arc, important developments for the Tardis)

The Dimension Riders - 2 (gonna be honest here - I don't remember a thing about this one either way)

The Left-Handed Hummingbird - 3 (first Kate Orman novel. Pretty good, although a little weird and hard to follow)

Conundrum - 3 (Be prepared for weirdness. And superheroes. Helps setup for No Future and Head Games)

No Future - 4 (concludes the alternate universe arc with style, establishes Ace from here on out)

Tragedy Day - 3 (dark, but good. Worth a read)

Legacy - 3 (Kinda dark, but it works. Be prepared for over-continuity)

Theatre of War - 4 (Pulls off one of the best plot twists I've seen anywhere, and introduces Braxieatel to the Whoniverse)

All-Consuming Fire - 4 (Not plot-relevent at all, but is very good, especially if you are a Sherlock Holmes fan)

Blood Harvest - 4 (Major plot point in the Whoniverse)

Strange England - 2 (takes strangeness to an art form. Can be freely skipped)

First Frontier - 4 (plot relevant for spoiler-y reasons)

St Anthony's Fire - 2 (dark and weird, but well written)

Falls the Shadow - 1 (Just... no)

Parasite - 1 (Written by Jim Mortimore, therefore depressing as all get out)

Warlock - 2 (I did not read. Sequel to Warhead, so only read if you liked it)

Set Piece - 4 (major plot developments for multiple characters)

Infinite Requiem - 2 (like The Dimension Riders, I remember nothing)

Sanctuary - 3 (a pure historical. Not really great on its own, but helps set up Human Nature)

Human Nature - 4 (The story that was adapted to TV. One of the best New Adventures by itself, becomes even better by having fun comparing it to the TV version)

Original Sin - 4 (plot-relevant)

Sky Pirates! - 2 (Only if you like Douglas-Adams-esque dark humor)

Zamper - 3 (Somewhat interesting follow-up to The Highest Science)

Toy Soldiers - 2 (Adds pretty much nothing, but not painfully bad) 

Head Games - 4 (a worthwhile look at where the Doctor has been going and who he is)

The Also People - 4 (probably my favorite New Adventure, although Theatre of War and Human Nature are also up there. Also resolves a recurring character's arc)

Shakedown - 3 (Fun, but ultimately fluff)

Just War - 2 (Weird and ultimately unimportant)

Warchild - 2 (Same situation as Warlock. Starts Psi arc, but can be skipped)

SLEEPY - 4 (Generally good story, sets up Psi arc if you skipped Warchild)

Death and Diplomacy - 3 (only worthwhile as setup for Happy Endings)

Happy Endings - 4 (Plot relevant. Ultimately fluff, but plot-relevant)

GodEngine - 4 (not plot-relevant, but an excellent story)

Christmas on a Rational Planet - 2 (part of Psi arc, and lays groundwork for Faction Paradox stuff, but I couldn't really follow it)

Return of the Living Dad - 4 (cleans up old plot threads, and is a great story in its own right)

Cold Fusion - 4 (Not plot relevant, but an excellent, gripping story)

The Death of Art - 2 (part of Psi arc, but not great)

Damaged Goods - 2 (Russel T. Davis's first Who work, but very dark and nasty)

So Vile a Sin - 4 (finishes Psi arc and has other plot relevance)

Bad Therapy - 2 (deals mostly with repercussions of previous story, but not great in and of itself)

Eternity Weeps - 1 (Jim Mortimore's writing is too depressing for me. Technically plot relevant in that Benny and Jason get divorced but not worth it)

The Room With No Doors - 4 (setup for Lungbarrow, good story in its own right)

Lungbarrow - 4 (concludes the new adventures of the seventh doctor in a surprisingly meaningful way)

The Dying Days - 4 (a nice little coda to the series that sets up Benny's adventures as well)

[staawberru]

My Childhood Friend Wrote A Gay Omegaverse Fanfic About Me! Chapter 1

hiiiiiii welcome to the first chapter in this series whooo. A couple. things mc homophobic (he will get over it) but if you agree with anything he’s saying get out 😛

Chapter one | next chapter | past chapter | masterlist

—

The bus rides always sucked, if you had no friends it sucked even more. Lucky for you, you don’t have those problems. You have many friends, cool friends. Unfortunately, none of them ride your bus. Well, you have one friend but he’s your weird childhood friend, Jobie You’ve lived right next to him for years, and, sadly, that somehow means he’s attached to you, like a parasite which you would be fine with if he wasn’t gay! You know how that sounds, but you're not homophobic! How can you be homophobic and have a gay friends? That doesn’t make sense. Fortunately, he was too engrossed in his little online comic to notice or talk to you right now. 

      You look out the bus window, it’s going to rain. You already knew it, the sky was cloudy and this morning on the walk to the bus stop you could smell the rain. You love rain, you do, but you have soccer practice later today, and you really can’t miss it. Well, you can, but you’d prefer not to. Missing it would mean taking the bus home, and that would mean talking to Jobie, and that’s one of the worst things ever. All he talks about is his stupid new bl obsession and blah blah blah. Maybe you can convince a real friend to drive you home. God, you just wish you could get away from his rants about his newest fixation. 

      You sigh. You hate the bus, but school is even worse. You don’t have any classes with any of your friends. Well that was a lie, you have one class with Jobie but he definitely doesn’t count. You feel a small pale finger poke your shoulder, you turn your head and glare. How dare he ruin your train of thoughts. You see his pale blue eyes widen just ever so slightly and you soften your [eye color] eyes faintly. As much as you want to tell him that you hate him and his clingy attitude you can’t. Why not? Wouldn’t it be so much easier to get rid of him? Unfortunately he has the hottest sister possible. You can’t let such beauty go.  

    “I was wondering if you wanted to come over…?” He asked quietly. Your eyebrows furrowed. You saw him looking down at his lap, and you assumed he was expecting the worst. 

    You paused. This could be an excuse to see his sister! Wait, she won’t be back until spring break, and that’s next week. You can’t just tell him no, he’ll go complain to his little mommy and then his precious mother will talk to your mom. You need an excuse.

   “Can’t, sorry, I have soccer practice today.” You say. Hopefully that would be a good enough excuse. You see him look up with a frown plastered on his face.

    “It’s going to rain today, didn’t you read the forecast?” His quiet voice seems to ring around the silent bus. Ah, he got you. Ugh, how are you supposed to get out of this one? 

    “Well we can still practice in the gym,” you smile. He doesn’t seem completely convinced but he finally gets off your back, going back to his online book, You look at him you can see the small frown on his face. You hate to make him feel bad, but you just let your smile fade and look back out the window, toward the dreaded school.

——

    As the school day continues you can’t help but feel increasingly worse. It’s unlike you to feel this bad over other people. For example, you didn’t feel bad the time a friend broke an arm, or the time your dad lost his job, but yet you feel bad because you rejected a kid you don’t like. So you’ve decided to go home with him. It doesn't matter if his hot sister isn’t there, he still has an awesome gaming setup.

     As the last period approaches, so does your class with him. This is where you plan to apologize. You hate to admit it, but you’ve been thinking about this all day. What were you going to say? What were you going to do? Finally, you decided to just say sorry, and that you do actually want to come over. 

     Sixth period finally rolled around and you saw him, Jobie. He was looking at his phone like normal, unbothered by your staring. You frown slightly. He probably doesn’t care. It's understandable, but still kind of annoying. Is this what mom thinks when you ignore her? Whatever, you’ll just catch him at the end of class. You look out the window, it seems like the rain is finally starting. It was supposed to start earlier, around ten but here you are. You put your head down and wait for the class to end. 

                                                    ——

Biology class took longer than normal. By the end of the day it had already been long enough, but the added weight of talking to Jobie attached a whole lot of extra Stress. But it was finally the end and finally time to talk to him. You look outside briefly and start making your way to him. You pause. Is this really okay? You blew him off this morning and now you're apologizing. It makes it seem like you're desperate or something.

      Something’s wrong, you know it Jobie always rushed to the bus, tripping on anything and everything, but today he isn’t. He's just sitting, waiting. Maybe he’s waiting for your apology, your forgiveness. Your eyes narrow. It’s weird, but it’s none of your business. All you have to do is apologize.

     “Hey Jobie,” you say, walking the rest of the way up to him. He jumped, your voice scaring him. He turned off his phone and looked up at you, blushing. You were about to say something, but you paused. Not only was he acting weird, but he also seemed guilty. You can see it in the way he tries, desperately, to look away from you. It could be passed off as his normal behavior, but something was wrong with him. 

   “You good?” You ask, leaning over him. His face reddened and he looked down.

    “You’re, um, a little close…” He squeaks, fidgeting with his hand. Oh, you were, you were practically squishing him.

    “Oh, sorry,” you didn’t mean for it to come off so awkwardly, but it did. You back off and stand next to him, forcing him to turn to look at you. 

    “So, uh, how are you?” You decided to take things slow. “Aren’t you going to miss the bus?”

    “Ah no, someone's driving me home. Why?” He looked up at you. 

    “No reason, really,” you shrug. “Better get off to soccer practice if I don’t want coach up my ass.” You mumble the last bit as you walk off. Jobie is the type to report you for something as stupid as cursing. Well, that was a bust. You didn’t get to apologize like you wanted. At least it saves you the embarrassment of saying sorry to him.

      “Wait!” Jobie calls out “Can I walk you? You looked like you really had something to say.” How does he know that? Can he read minds or something? Now that you think about it, he always knows what’s on your mind. Could he be a mind reader? Or maybe you're just easy to read. Whatever, it doesn't matter.

     “Ah well, it sounds stupid so never mind.” You say, now that you think about it, who is this person driving him home. “So, who’s this friend?”

     “Oh! Um, well, it’s embarrassing to say,” Jobie looks off to the side, fidgeting with his coat seaves. Then he stops walking, takes a breath and looks at you. You almost ran into him, but stopped yourself just before. 

     “Tell me what you were going to say,” Jobie looks you right in the eye. “I want to know.” With how girly he looks, you never expected him to be so threatening. You look him in the eyes. Is he serious? 

[alexandersimpleton]

Say what you want about the quality of the show itself, MLP's world building was actually awesome.

Like, a magical parasite that shapshifts into your loved ones and feed on your love? That is so cool! I'd expect to find that in an anime or some critically acclaimed TV show, not fucking My Little Pony! And, as cheesy as it is, them making a close friend and sharing love with each other being the only way to permanently sate their appetite makes sense! And the black and green aesthetic, and the whole bug symbolism with their wings, and then having fangs like vampires, and the symbolism with holes and how their hives are covered in holes to go along with the symbolism but also looks like the holes that bugs burrow into wood and just-

The changelings were fucking awesome man