#parallels that no one cares about but me haha

[violasghost]

At the risk of sounding like a Pollyanna, Rachel coming into the picture at this point in time is likely a good thing for Chenford. Discussion of the Rookie S7, Episode 3

Confession, Not going to get into real-world stuff or politics here, but just wanted to say how thankful I am for The Rookie to have as a much needed distraction on Tuesday nights and also glad to know the actors and everyone involved in the show is safe and will hopefully continue to remain safe from the LA wildfires. #SendinglovetoCalifornia

So despite it being a few seasons since we have seen or heard from Rachel, lets face it Lucy Chen has gone through some serious hardships in the last season and a half and with very little support. After she lost Jackson, she pretty much lost her one and only close platonic friend. When Tim broke up with her, the first reaction we got after seeing raw and emotionally hurt Lucy was Smitty joking about other cops betting on the reason for their breakup. (Pretty insensitive, especially to Chenford nation who was mostly in shock at that point.) Then you get Nolan and Celena pretending to care but not really, Celena mostly concerned that Lucy wouldn’t be too much of an emotional basket-case because she wanted to move out of her place and into Lucy’s apartment. And when Nolan asked Lucy about how she was doing when helping Celena to move in at a later date, he clearly regretted asking her such a loaded question. Not to mention the person Lucy thought of as a little sister, Tamara moves out. So no Tamara, no Detective, no Tim, and no explanation for the breakup. So yeah Rachel couldn’t have come at a better time. Lucy needs a real true grown up friend, someone who isn't a colleague or a subordinate. And its great that they have a history and Rachel has known Lucy for longer than anyone else has known her.

Does the fact that Rachel dated Tim bother me? Not really. Mostly because both of them said everything they needed to say to one another (plus it was Lucy who originally fixed them up) and it looks like Rachel was pretty much rooting for Tim and Lucy before she blew into town, so yeah don’t think she will be competition for Chenford.

Another angle that hasn’t been explored and I’m curious if ‘The Rookie’ showrunners will go there is the fact that Rachel in essence is a counselor/social services. Remember, she worked with abused kids? Even if they don’t decide to use Rachel’s professional expertise, she’s staying on Lucy’s couch. She’s not just passing through for one episode. They have already hedged at this with the brief discussion about Lucy and Tim's relationship by the couch, and you know there will be more. Maybe just maybe, Rachel will be able to get Lucy to open up a little bit about her feelings and what happened with Tim. Which would be really good for Lucy.

And it would be really good for Chenford because in order for both Lucy and Tim to be able to move past the 'lets just be friends' cover, they have to get under the surface and dig deep and figure out what it is they both really want, and then work up the courage to go for it. Kinda like when they both decided to start dating in S5. Lots of parallels here since they really did a re-set with their relationship, but they have to work up to that point of realization first, that 1. the feelings are still there (which they are), and 2. its worth the risk (which it is).

Side note, I thought it was really cute when Lucy prepped Seth with all the Tim test answers and Tim cracking Nolan’s fancy safe house lock system, haha.

I also thought it was funny when Bailey returned and the locks were not working. Although still could care less about Jason. The guy who got out of the handcuffs seemed more interesting.

What did you think?

[group-dynamic]

*SCREECHING*

I was watching this lovely, bittersweet edit highlighting the short, tragic friendship between Celebrimbor and Elrond as they're portrayed in the Rings of Power, and it got me reflecting (as many of us have) on the prophesy, "My father foresaw that one day Celebrimbor's life would be in my hands" and how it's too bad there wasn't anything that felt like a weighty resolution to that thread. Like, to have a prophesy directly from the foresight of Eärendil that's first mentioned in season one and invented for the show feels so significant to be used merely as a device to compound Elrond's failure, you know? The prophesy works well as foreshadowing and elevates the tragic impact of Elrond's role as commander and his inability to defend Eregion, but that feels so distant to the idiom "life in his hands." Especially since Elrond isn't even in sight of Celebrimbor's death, so how could his life really be so directly in his hands--

IT'S THE RING.

THE RINGS.

Elrond's only direct acts related to "saving" Celebrimbor on screen is trying to save his records and his city, aka the lore and legacy around him. And that fails. The records are burned, the city is reduced to rubble, the smith's greatest achievements are corrupted and certainly going to be twisted further to some evil purpose in Sauron's hands.

And Elrond's been so certain that those rings are corrupted, including the elven rings (which for a while are the only rings the Lindon elves know of in the show). But then suddenly those elven rings are all that's left of Celebrimbor's legacy and in the first and last episode of the season they're LITERALLY in Elrond's hands. When he jumps from the cliff trying to keep them from his friends, and when he finally picks one up and uses it for good--for its intended, healing purpose. I mean, Elrond future lore master has Celebrimbro's life story in his hands. He has Celebrimbor's life's work in his hands, and all the parts of himself and his craft he poured into those rings.

And one day Elrond will literally be one of the bearers and wielders of Celebrimbor's life work and legacy. Yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaahhh==

"His life in his hands" indeed.

[heartslobbf]

hater alert! far too many people say that juri’s character arc ‘isn’t about her being sad about being gay, it’s about being sad about unrequited love that happens to be gay’ and. well. that is not true and by saying that you are completely flattening the brilliance of juri’s character arc which literally culminates in her being able to accept her own lesbianism despite her unrequited love, despite all her shame and self-loathing, despite this pursuit by Some Fucking Guy to try and ‘save’ her from these feelings. like if you think juri’s entire character is just ‘sad about shiori’ how do you appreciate even a modicum of the emotion packed into that final juri duel. it is both about shiori and, even broader, her lesbian identity and what that means to her intrinsically as a person, removed from romantic relationships and just purely as like. you know. Who She Is. the idea that even when juri’s locket is cut from her neck she is still a lesbian that’s still who she is and she cant change that and, crucially, she doesn’t want to even as she is agonised by these feelings. that’s why she forfeits the duel!!!! she’s clocking out she’s quitting she’s saying no!!!!!! this is me and ive got to be ok with that this is me and i can accept that this girl might not love me and i can keep living despite that. like. god im so normal arisugawa juri im so sorry that no one understands you and your intrinsically unapologetically lesbian storyline like i do

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

1x13 | 2x16 

[e-adlirez]

Spoilers for Sinsmas/Sinsmas ramble

So I had Sinsmas paused on my browser to do life stuff as usual, I Will Be Okay was in my head, and I walked back to my computer after life stuff and realized the frame I had it paused on was

D

Do you see what I'm seeing

Their positions aren't just similar, they're reversed. In "I Will Be Okay", Via is on the floor and Stolas's shadow is standing up, looking down on her and reaching a hand to her from above, which she swats away. At the end of Sinsmas, Stolas is kneeling on the floor, with Via looking down at him from above, and her hand resting on Stolas's, which she pulls away from.

AND THE PARALLELS AND REVERSALS DON'T END THERE

From what I could see, it seems like there's only one instance where the parallel doesn't totally apply.

This.

Merry Sinsmas, Helluva Boss fandom :D

:'D

[imminent-danger-came]

Between

2x08 S: "As long as I'm doing something to help out a friend, I don't mind what it is! I just want to be there for 'em when they need me. Because at the end of the day, helping my friends is more important than anything in the world!"

3x03 Mei: "So wait, how did you get your gold vision back again?" MK: "I don't know! The same way I got them in the first place I guess. Every time I learned a new ability, it was because there was something I NEEDED to do, when there was no other way. Against the gold fish guy I NEEDED to do something to save my friends!" P: "Yeah, friends that YOU put in danger on purpose!"

3x10 MK: "NO! Mei is my best friend, I’d never abandon her when she needs me. We’re heroes! It’s what we do!",

3x14 MK: "A perfect world is what you make it. So as long as I have my friends by my side...this world! Is! Perfect!”

4x01 MK: "Honestly? I’m kinda liking the world as it is, right now. So...if it could just stay like this, forever? That would be awesome." SWK: "Yeah well...forever’s a long time bud...trust me."

4x02 AL: "It’s too late to save them! We can’t risk unleashing the curse into the world." MK: “You don’t know! We’d risk it for sure! I won’t abandon them when they need us."

4x07 IMK: "You can see it, can't you? This is your fate. Your friends will turn on you, seeing you for the monster you will become. They will destroy you, harbinger of chaos."

4x11 MK: "We have to try, he'd do the same—for any of us." and

4x14 YT: "I know full well what would happen should Azure fail. But- but he is my brother. I owe him my life." S: "We get it! I'd do anything to help my friends. But at the cost of the world?" P: "I'm sorry pal, but NOTHING worth that price!"

I'm like, really worried scoob.

[sysig]

DAAAAAAAAAAAAX <3 <3 (Patreon)

[linagram]

[𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚊𝚜𝚊𝚔𝚒 𝚊𝚒𝚖𝚒'𝚜 𝚝𝟷 𝚟𝚘𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚍𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚊] 𝚋𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚍𝚒𝚎 𝚝𝚘𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛

writing her vd was kinda hard tbh.. i'm still trying to figure out what i want her character to be like, at first she was supposed to be, like, a cute and cheerful girl who is also kinda creepy, but here she's more.. quiet, i guess? i like her vd a lot though! i actually got chills while writing the last sentence and one thing she says to eiji

also, after this vd i will post akio and aimi's interrogation! so again, you can send them questions if you want!

(divider link)

Aimi: ♪~

(door opens)

Miki: S-sorry for being late!.. We, um.. had some problems to deal with..

Aimi: Ah, it's okay, don't worry about it! I haven't even noticed that you're late actually.

Aimi: May I ask what happened though?

Miki: Um, I'm not sure that I'm allowed-

Eiji: Akio passed out right after we extracted his song.

Miki: Eiji-san, you're gonna scare her!

Aimi: Oh, really? Is he okay?

Miki: Y-yeah, it just turned out that he was, um.. m-more "fragile" than we thought.

Eiji: He's just weak, that's all.

Eiji: I don't think it happened because of the machine, he most likely just had some health problems before he even came here.

Eiji: Or he just knew that we will vote him guilty and got too scared, haha.

Aimi: I see..

Miki: But don't worry, I'm sure you're gonna be fine after we extract your song!

Miki: At least I hope so..

Eiji: Anyway, enough about that guy.

Eiji: So, Prisoner 002, Hanasaki Aimi. 16 years old, first year of high school, just like Prisoner 001.

Eiji: By the way, what do you think about him? Prisoner 009 is also still in high school, if I'm not wrong.

Aimi: Hm.. Akio-kun is a good guy! I can tell that he's.. well, not the most friendly person, but I'm sure that he just needs some time to get used to this place and other prisoners!

Aimi: And Kuroki-san is so nice to me! He treats me well and he always listens to me no matter what I say..

Aimi: Overall, I like this place a lot! I'm having so much fun with everyone!

Miki: You're surprisingly relaxed for a situation like this..

Aimi: Well, this is just some kind of game, isn't it? Oh, maybe this is a theme park or something like that? I've never been in a prison-themed park though..

Eiji: *sighs* When will you all accept that this is a real thing and you can actually die if we vote you guilty?

Miki: D-DIE?? Eiji-san, they won't actually get executed, right? RIGHT??

Aimi: Die, huh..

Aimi: Well, it's not like I mind.

Miki: .. What?

Aimi: If it means that I won't be executed alone and other prisoners will be with me too..

Aimi: I would be happy to die with my best friends by my side.

Eiji: ...

Miki: ...

Aimi: Ah, sorry for scaring you like this! Please, ask me anything you want. I will answer as honestly as I can.

Eiji: .. Right. So, about your crime.

Eiji: I'm looking at you right now and I'm trying to figure out what you did.

Eiji: .. You sure have a lot of injuries.

Aimi: Haha, yes, I do.

Aimi: I'm just a little bit clumsy, that's all.

Eiji: We just started and you're already lying.

Aimi: Huh?

Eiji: You got these injuries because of someone else and not because of your own clumsiness, didn't you?

Aimi: ...

Aimi: Haha.. Speaking from experience, Guard-san?

Eiji: !

Eiji: You-

Aimi: Sorry, sorry. It's just that you also look like you had to go through a lot.

Eiji: How.. HOW DARE YOU?!

Miki: Eiji-san, stop! She's already hurt, don't make it worse for her!

Eiji: .. Fine.

Eiji: (to Aimi) Give me your hairclip. The candy-shaped one.

Aimi: W-why do you need it?

Eiji: If I can't punish you physically, I'll just do it this way.

Eiji: And something is telling me this hairclip is important to you.

Aimi: .. W-well, if Guard-san says so..

Aimi: I would be okay with getting beaten though.

Miki: Eiji-san, please, leave her alone!

Eiji: SHE CAN'T JUST GO "OH, I WONDER WHY YOU HAVE TO WEAR ALL THESE BANDAGES"!

Miki: .. P-please, just give him the hairclip, Aimi-chan. You don't deserve to get hurt even more.

Aimi: !..

Aimi: "Aimi-chan"..

Aimi: I've never been called that before..

Aimi: Okay! Here, have my hairclip, Guard-san!

Eiji: ...

Eiji: You gave it to the wrong guard.

Miki: Why did you-

Aimi: Because you wouldn't look good with it, Guard 001-san!

Eiji: You did it just because she was nicer to you, didn't you?

Aimi: So, about my crime.

Eiji: Hey, don't ignore me!

Aimi: I.. can't tell you much about it. Sorry.

Miki: Why? Are you scared?

Aimi: Not really. I'm not scared at all actually.

Aimi: It's just that I'm not even sure if you can call it a crime.

Eiji: You're in Milgram and that means it is definitely a crime.

Eiji: And not just any crime, but murder.

Aimi: Murder..

Aimi: You're right. I did commit murder.

Eiji: I wonder who you killed though.

Eiji: .. Did you kill someone to get revenge on them?

Aimi: .. Haha, who knows.

Eiji: Was it one of your classmates?

Aimi: NO!

Miki: Aimi-chan??

Eiji: Finally, I was worried this interrogation will be boring.

Aimi: I was friends with all of my classmates! They loved me! We always had so much fun together!

Aimi: I.. I loved them.. I really did.. And they loved me..

Aimi: It.. It wasn't one of my classmates..

Eiji: .. Weird.

Aimi: What's weird?

Eiji: You see, sure, I can just say you killed someone because you were bullied and you wanted to get revenge on that person.

Eiji: Reminds me of that last prisoner.. But I doubt that he really was bullied, he was just mad that people loved someone more than him.

Eiji: But you just.. don't seem like that type of person.

Aimi: What do you mean by that?

Eiji: I can imagine you snapping and finally showing your bullies how angry you are at them, but something just doesn't add up.

Eiji: Did you notice it too, Guard 002?

Miki: No, I didn't.

Eiji: ...

Eiji: *sighs* Fine.

Eiji: In short, you're too weak to actually kill someone yourself.

Eiji: I can't think of anyone who could be your victim except your bullies, but again, you say that your classmates loved you.

Eiji: So that means you either killed someone from a different class or a different school..

Eiji: .. or someone helped you realize how bad your situation really is.

Eiji: Hey, Aimi..

Eiji: Did you also have an accomplice, just like Prisoner 001?

(bell rings, machinery sounds)

Eiji: I'm waiting for your answer.

Aimi: ...

Eiji: Aimi!

Miki: Eiji-san, she needs a minute-

Eiji: Prisoner 002, Aimi, sing your sins!

Aimi: I was told that it would be nice if they all just died.

═════════•°• ⚠ •°•═════════

[zeropro]

The way you drew Bee and Starscream together was just so ahahjshshfhgj

I would love to hear your thoughts on the Starbee ship or just your personal ideas on how you think the two would interact with each other! :D

It’s still amazing to me that folks would be interested in my opinions haha.

I actually don’t think I ship starscream romantically with anyone, but I have a fondness for starbee cuz bumblebee (specifically the one from earthspark who was a millennial and also a dad and so out of his depth but just wanted to do a good job aah) was my first transformers blorbo and so seeing my blorbos stand next to each other sparks joy.

the fun thing about bee and starscream is bumblebee embodies the autobot ideal and is basically optimus’ sidekick, while starscream embodies the decepticon ideal and is megatron’s sidekick, so even in continuities where they don’t have any sort of interactment theres still this cosmic parallel between them

I think as much as I like seeing starscream suffer, I think I especially like when other characters witness that suffering, and bee is such a good kid it’s easy to imagine someone like him could feel sympathetic to anyone, even someone as awful as starscream

i think thats why i like the idea of idw 2005’s starbee so much. I havent actually gotten to the part of the comic where bumblebee’s ghost haunts starscream yet, but idw’s bumblebee has so much baggage, almost as much as starscream! he’s so tired, he’s held leadership and felt like he’s failed and struggles with other people not seeing him the way he wants them to, just like starscream. and starscream, the bot with the most to hide, being watched 24/7 by someone he doesnt even think is real. like the potential is so juicy with them! I want them to be friends, I want them to be soft with each other, and I want to watch them struggle to get there. I don’t need to see them kiss or cuddle, I’m not really into that stuff, but I want starscream to struggle and for bee to see that and for someone to care.

thanks for the ask!

[konpeitonom]

general dating headcanons for captain grant curly.

sfw— lowercase intended ^_^

g/n reader - no pronouns mentioned

requests are open, i do all the characters ^.^

notes; i love this guy. all of these are pre-crash on earth. i would love to write for post-crash/found curly someday perhaps. these are kind of everywhere. not proofread oopsies. wrote them sleep deprived zzz .. going to bed now!

— this man is extremely overbearing when it comes to his love. i mean there’s a reason everyone compares him to a golden retriever.

— in my small brain he is 6’2 and very beefy. he works out! it’s canon! gym bro and will annoy you about your protein intake.. but it’s because he cares!

— he is a morning person. it’s annoying unless you are one too. he will get up at 5 on the dot! he is not a coffee drinker in my opinion, or at least a morning one. he heard cold water is best in the mornings as a teen and stuck with it since.

— by the time you’re awake he’s already had breakfast (prepared you some as well, of course), ran a couple miles, and did all his chores.

— this man is the definition of acts of service. he is extremely considerate. If you're particular about food, how it’s cooked- how it’s served, he will make the effort to do so correctly.

— if you ever bring it up though he’ll just say ‘it’s the bare minimum for a man’ haha

— sort of likes it when you’re sick. not in a weird way, he just thinks it’s cute how you act. and he likes to take care of you. he is a very traditional man in that sense.

— i think he’s very private with his love! like everyone would know you’re together, no doubt about it. maybe subtle hand or cheek kisses in public but not much more than that. i think he thinks love is a very intimate, private thing.

— he’s not materialistic in any sense, quite the opposite. he’d invest and save in high quality things, get you the exact ring you’d want or do research in your hobbies to make sure you’d like what he’d purchase.

— i also like to think he sort of puts up a front when with others, but not with you. ideally, he’d want someone he can be vulnerable with from time to time and not feel as if he has to walk on eggshells constantly.

— he’d like pinching/poking at your tummy. he seems like a tummy guy. like he’d grab at it and squish it. i think he’d find thighs cute too.

— i think he’s definitely a cute-over-sexy kind of guy!! i stand by this!! no one can convince me otherwise.

— he likes playful banter! playful teasing! someone quick-witted. it eases up any potential tension.

— he would also just hold your hands and rub your fingers softly, kissing your knuckles. again, he’s very soft with his love. he’d be upset to hurt you in any way, especially physically. he knows he can be a bit too much when it comes to affection. and he never wants to make you uncomfortable!!

— back to his whole ‘private intimacy’ thing. he feels closest to you when you’re ‘parallel playing’.. doing mundane things, your own hobbies, but being beside each other- he feels so lucky to be able to do that. it feels domestic.

— we’ve already seen it in-game, but he does not like to argue whatsoever. sometimes it does him good, apologizes quickly, but in more serious moments it could definitely come off as him brushing off your feelings.

— he doesn’t intend to, he just wants to avoid arguing at all costs.

— more of a “let’s just talk things through” kind of guy. haha. as his partner you’ll have to understand how to talk to him, i assume.

— he is a good man. a great man even… husband material..

[stonerbamtori]

Purple Haze

synopsis: Due to screwing up at the Strawberryland Annual Fair, Mary Jane isn't very well liked by her fellow villagers. She hardly ever goes into town. Elsewhere in the little village is Peach Beomgyu, equally isolated but for entirely different reasons. After typical medical malpractice leads the unlikely pair to cross paths, things get smoky.

THIS FIC IS BASED ON THE STRAWBERRYLAND EVENT BY @thetxtdevil and @beomiracles 's concept of Peach Beomgyu but with tweaked bruising lore and can take place in a pre/post/parallel timeline to Little Apricot

pairing: Peach!Beomgyu x Marijuana!Reader ??????

wordcount: too many ~10k

warnings: MDNI, fluff/smut, hurt/comfort, sub!Beomgyu / softdom!reader, fem!reader sorry for pussy rocking, chubby!reader (she gets the munchies haha get it), pretty vanilla sex all things considered, but there is slight cum eating, bad language, drug use, smoking, edibles, reader has snake bites, that pottery scene from ghost but its teaching him to use a bong, other txt members mentioned, also chaewon don't worry about it, clementine was cute in strawberry shortcake and chaewon starts with c so i had to add her, idk what im doing, i don't normally write fics, this is basically just a disability allegory, beomgyu is a fuzzy peach like in the og, my shitty sense of humor is involved

author's note: this account may just be me dumping this fic and running. hope you enjoy if you have the same derangements as I do

Strawberryland is an idyllic little village, rather conservative in its values- after all, everyone that lives in it is a cute little hybrid motherfucker. The culture surrounds plants, especially fruits- gardening, exchanging foods, sharing recipes, etc. Residents nearly all tend to their own gardens, sharing heritage with a particular plant species. Some even had full orchards. A few of the villagers are quite popular, like Cherry Yeonjun or Lemon Drop Soobin. Others, though, are not- like Mary Jane.

Mary isn't a particularly tasty fruit. Rather, she was a flower, an herb. But she wasn't delicious. Sure, she was edible, but no one was baking her buds in treats for the taste. She was something else.

For a day job, Mary Jane puts herself to use as a town healer. After many years of trying her hand at helping with different things around town, she stumbled upon her uncanny ability to alleviate pain. Naturally skilled, she took care of whoever she could when the opportunity presented itself. Before long it became clear that this was her natural talent; this was all she knew how to do. Soon enough she settled into such a role. Although many thought she was a bit kooky and out there, she didn't really know what else to offer.

Though she has limited training, she is rather successful. Still, because she's a natural healer, her work is commonly thought of as improper. Dr. Chamomile and the others, licensed in medicine, are considered reputable. Mary Jane is considered shady- not above board.

Still, Mary wanted so badly to be a part of Strawberryland, to be among the people. After running into him at the local market, Mary took up baking alongside the kind Gingerbread Taehyun, who had a rather curious mind. In exchange for information on the mystery of the young woman living on the outskirts of town, he teaches her some basic recipes, including brownies.

Using what she learned, Mary Jane baked a big batch of brownies for the County Fair. But when people started to turn loopy after eating her treats, any salvageable bit of reputation she had left was gone. Blueberry Kai was so faded that Cherry Yeonjun had to carry him home on his back. When their precious youngest is threatened, the villagers accuse Mary Jane of trying to poison them. She is swiftly banned from the Fair. From then on, any appearance she made in town was met with scoffs.

Not everyone was so rude. Blueberry Kai, for example, still brought her pie when he had some to spare. "Just because you're not... great at baking, doesn't mean you're a bad person," he'd say, with a grimace. Others, like Clementine Chaewon, came to her for healing. Mary Jane was mostly shunned into her home, but she at least was not completely isolated.

Although her services are not under high demand, Mary takes great comfort in being able to contribute in at least this little way. The one thing that can heal her lonely heart is putting herself to good use. She soothes the pain of her fellow villagers whenever she can.

-

Something is wrong with Peach Beomgyu. Everyone in Strawberryland knows it. Hell, his hair isn't even Peach. Within a dilapidated cottage hidden in the forest, Beomgyu keeps to himself. He isn't like the other fruits. His garden doesn't bloom. His hair is dark. He is consistently covered in bruises. And although he is rather playful, he can only manage to brush aside his chronic pain so often. It isn’t uncommon for there to be a frown on his face.

Peach Beomgyu doesn't go into town much, but for reasons different than Mary Jane. It was an entire ordeal- he would have to ration his energy, plan for mishaps, and take time to recover after. Most of the time Beomgyu left the safe haven of his cottage, it was just to visit Chamomile at the clinic. Only the necessities.

Today is just one of many in a week of flare-ups for him. Once he has reluctantly exited his bed, Peach Beomgyu makes some tea, swirling a spoonful of apricot jam into the mix. Although the first sip is heavenly, and the warmth soothes his throat, the rest of his muscles still ache. After tossing and turning for the umpteenth time on the couch to get comfortable, he drops his book on the floor. He groans, defeated. If he couldn't even read, he might as well be dead.

-

"I'm sorry, Beomgyu. There's just nothing I can do," Dr. Chamomile sighs, scribbling something on the notepad on her desk. He wasn’t even sure she was listening. Or what she could be possibly writing down given the conversation. Maybe she was just doodling.

"Please, Dr. Chamomile. I know my condition cannot be cured, but there has to be something you can give me to at least help with the symptoms," Beomgyu pleads, eyes worn.

Dr. Chamomile sighs, her tired eyes blinking slowly. "I can offer you some tea to help the body relax, but that's really it. I've told you this time and time again."

Frustrated after being consistently let down, Peach Beomgyu can't help but slam his fist on the desk. "That stuff isn't strong enough! It doesn't do shit!"

At the sudden slam, Dr. Chamomile jumps, startled out of her stupor. Dr. Chamomile didn’t take nicely to being so violently bewildered. She scowls, a stern look suddenly on her face. "Then don't take the tea. Now get out. I have other patients," she mutters, jaw set. Beomgyu feels his heart fall at her look of disapproval, just like everyone else's. Head hung in shame, he sullenly leaves the office.

As Peach Beomgyu slowly hobbles through town, too stubborn to let anyone see him with a cane for fear they'll pity him all the more, he can't help but glare ahead. A raincloud practically hangs above his head. As he shuffles over the cobblestone, a cheerful voice snaps him out of his sulking. "Peach Beomgyu! It's good to see you," says Clementine Chaewon.

The short girl smiles up at him, excited by the opportunity to speak to someone so elusive. It almost makes Beomgyu's frown soften. No one ever looked that excited to see him. If anything, they winced. "...Hi Clementine Chaewon," he murmurs awkwardly, dropping his gaze.

Chaewon, although cheerful, is not tone deaf. "What's wrong?" she murmurs gently, tilting her head slightly to try and catch his eyes.

Beomgyu sighs, dragging a hand through his hair. "Dr. Chamomile says there's nothing more she can do for me. I mean, look at me. I'm all fucked up, there's no hiding it. How am I supposed to live like this, knowing I'm never going to get better?" His voice cracks with vulnerability as he extends his bruised arms. Shit- he really hadn't meant to say that much, especially stuff so dark. It just slipped out. Maybe he was beginning to reach a breaking point.

Chaewon's eyes widen. To say she didn't see that coming would be an understatement. Peach Beomgyu hardly ever spoke more than a few words, infamously quiet. After a moment, though, her gaze softens with compassion. "Beomgyu, please don't say that. You're not 'all fucked up'. You're just bruised," she gets out after a sputter.

Beomgyu sighs, unable to help but relent under her kind-hearted words. But who was going to pick on the bruised guy? Of course she had to say that. "Thanks. I just wish I wasn't in pain, that's all. Even if I am different from everyone else, even if I can't bear fruit- that's fine... I just wish these bruises didn't ache."

Chaewon sighs, nodding in understanding. She's quiet for a moment, gaze drifting aside as she thinks. Finally, she suggests, "Why not go to Mary Jane?"

Peach Beomgyu furrows his brows. It went without saying that he was a total homebody. The only people he knew in town were the ones he came across when he was forced out of his hideaway. "Who's Mary Jane?"

"Marijuana. She lives on Hemp Lane. She does natural healing. I know it sounds like snake oil salesman nonsense, but she really helped me when I hurt my back last year gardening!" Clementine Chaewon explains.

Beomgyu narrows his gaze as he considers this, nose scrunching up in distaste. As a well-read man, Beomgyu always thought of himself as informed. A man of science. He was too intellectual for essential oils and natural remedies. That stuff was all scams.

Still, the desperation in the back of his mind doesn't want to completely let go of the idea. It is still hope, albeit half-hearted. "...It's not like I have anything to lose," he sighs. "Thank you, Chaewon. I'll give it a shot."

Chaewon smiles once again. "Of course! Do you need any help getting home?"

Beomgyu frantically shakes his head. "Oh, no, no! Thank you, but I'm alright." And just like that, he scrambles to return to his walk home before she can insist. He's not sure if it's his pride or his general hatred of small talk that propels him, but he's off.

"No problem. Have a good night!" Chaewon calls after him with a wave and a beaming smile, before heading off in the other direction.

Beomgyu can't help but let out a huff as soon as he's out of earshot, pain shooting up his legs as he rigidly corrects his posture for imagined prying eyes. Appearing in public was always a performance. As he continues the trek home, it's as if his mind turns off. The only thing he can focus on is the deliberate effort of every step. When his cottage finally comes into view, he thinks he could weep for joy.

Once inside, he collapses on the couch. He doesn't get up again until the next day.

-

It's about noon when Mary blinks her bleary eyes open. People didn't come by often, and certainly didn't in the morning hours. With a yawn, she stretches, relaxed muscles coming to life one by one.

It's a day like any other. Mary tends to her plants in the yard, watering and surveying them. She mostly grows marijuana, of course, the plant passed through her family. Still, she's experimented with many variations. Her favorite is Purple Haze for its beautiful color- and lucky is she, for it matches her hair.

Once Mary is satisfied with the state of her crops, she returns inside. She hums as she enters the kitchen, grabbing a few buds from a jar on the counter. In one swift move, she clicks on the radio and grabs the mortar and pestle.

Mary sings along to the tune as she grinds down the buds, too lost in the song to pay much attention. Once she feels little resistance, she smiles down at the bowl. Perfect.

When she sits down on the couch and sets the bowl on her coffee table beside her favorite bong, her tranquility is interrupted as she hears a knock at the door. She pauses, brows furrowing. Had she imagined that? No one called to say they were coming today. Maybe it was just part of the song on the radio?

When another knock is heard, she hums, pouting in surprise. She makes her way to open the door, only to have to squint into the bright sunlight.

Slowly, her pupils adjust to the light, green irises rimmed with red more visible. The young man standing before her isn't someone she recognizes, and he's at least a head taller than her as she looks up. "Hello," she murmurs with a lazy smile, eyes a bit droopy.

"Uh, hi. Are you Mary Jane?" Peach Beomgyu asks nervously. What was with this girl? She looked half asleep.

She blinks for a moment. "Hm? Oh, yeah. That's me," she drawls, a bit dazed. Still, Mary notices the way he shakes, frowning slightly and giving him a once over. It wasn't just anxiety- he was leaning on a cane of beautifully carved wood. Her eyes light up at the sight. "Holy shit, that's an excellent cane you have. Come in!"

Beomgyu's eyes widen a bit, not expecting a genuine compliment on his mobility aid. "Ah, thank you..." He nods with a slight blush, slowly stepping inside behind her. Mary closes the door and gestures for him to sit on the couch.

Mary Jane smiles, patiently waiting until he's comfortably sat to join him. "Did you carve it yourself?" she asks excitedly. With the cane at the forefront of her mind, she'd forgotten to ask why he was even here. It wasn't immediately important.

"Uh, yeah, I did..." Beomgyu says nervously, eyes surveying the items on her coffee table. A bowl of herbs and some sort of... phallic contraption. Maybe coming here was a bad idea.

"Well, you're very talented. I'm a bit of an artist myself in my free time, but everything I've whittled is shit compared to that," Mary chuckles, before catching herself cursing. "Oh shit- sorry, I have a bad habit of swearing..." she murmurs, voice softer and apologetic.

Peach Beomgyu chuckles. "It's fine. I'm not hurt by little words," he says with a smirk, before sighing. "So, Chaewon told me you do healing and stuff. Is that true?"

Mary blinks, spacey and having forgotten the task at hand. Ah! "Yeah, I try! I'm a bit of an amateur, but I do my best. I'm CPR certified by the Strawberry Council," she announces proudly, a self-satisfied grin on her face as she raises her chin high.

Beomgyu can't help but chuckle a bit at her goofy display of pride over something so simple. There's something charming about it. "Wow. I'm impressed," he murmurs half-heartedly.

Although Mary Jane picks up on his half-sincerity, she smiles. "Thanks. So you need to be healed, do you... what's your name?"

Beomgyu chuckles again. Mary didn't seem too quick to the punch. "I'm Peach Beomgyu. Nice to meet you," he introduces, giving a slight bow of his head, which Mary returns.

"A peach? No wonder you are here for healing. You're awfully bruised," Mary murmurs with a frown, gaze drifting from the brown hair atop his head to the marks on his fuzzy arms. It was as if she dumped a bucket of ice water on his head. Most of the villagers wouldn't acknowledge any of it out loud. Too awkward, too taboo. But Mary Jane is taboo.

It took Beomgyu a second to gather himself enough to answer coherently. "...Yeah... I was just born this way. I've been to Dr. Chamomile several times, and even traveled further to visit Dr. Ginseng, but there's no cure. The only thing I can do is try to be comfortable as I live with it," Beomgyu explains, voice a bit gentler than before. It was as if his voice handled the fragile topic as delicately as it could.

Mary Jane nods slowly, a look of acknowledgement taking over her eyes that betrays an unexpected wisdom. "So the system is failing you, and you need to get creative?" she murmurs, much more invested, though her little grin provides the smallest hint of levity. Peach Beomgyu lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

“Yeah… Can you help me?” Peach Beomgyu whispers, lower lip caught between his teeth. He didn’t mean to plead, but the desperation in his eyes was hard to hide. He didn’t want to hurt anymore. 

Mary Jane smiles, resting a hand on his shoulder gently, careful not to hurt his tender skin. “Of course. I assume you are coming here because you're willing to try some less conventional options. You know about my reputation, right?" she asks with a grimace.

Beomgyu nods. "Yeah, I'm aware of the risks.... I'm still interested," he murmurs meekly.

Mary Jane nods, keeping a trained neutrality on her face so as not to sway his decision. "Marijuana helps with pain relief- not strong enough for surgery, for example, but certainly for body aches and pains,” she explains swiftly, sitting up straighter. “Do you smoke?”

Peach Beomgyu’s eyes widen a bit as his cheeks flush pink. “Uh, not really… I can if that’s the only option, but…” he trails off, awkwardly averting his gaze. He didn’t fuck with his lungs. He already had enough to deal with when it came to the bruising.

Mary Jane shakes her head with a smile. “No, no, don’t worry about it! I have edibles. It takes longer for it to kick in, but it is also generally stronger. Since this is your first time, I’ll give you a low dose to try,” she explains, standing to her feet. The soft patter of her feet is heard as she walks into her kitchen to retrieve two brownies- one for each of them. 

“Brownies?” Beomgyu asks, furrowing a brow. 

Mary Jane nods. “Yup! They might taste slightly off because of the pot, but I think they’re passable,” she says with a grin, extending the plate. Beomgyu takes a brownie, frowning slightly as he examines it. There was obvious hesitation in his eyes. Was it really worth this? He didn’t know what was scarier, if he had a bad reaction, or if it just didn’t work. Did he really want to eat something strange from this girl?

“Do you trust me?” Mary Jane asks softly, rousing him from his thoughts. Beomgyu was about to say no when he looks up at her face, at her eyes sparkling with hope, and suddenly he's taking a bite.

It was alright. He chews slowly.

Mary Jane beams, sitting beside him again and eating a brownie of her own. 

The two finish their treats and sit in awkward silence.

“....So… How long is this supposed to take to kick in?” Peach Beomgyu whispers, twiddling with his thumbs.

“Twenty minutes on an empty stomach,” she murmurs back. “It has to digest to hit your bloodstream.”

“Oh,” Beomgyu remarks softly with a slight nod. 

The silence is regular for Beomgyu, but unbearable for Mary Jane. After another minute, she can’t help but yap again. “So, Peach Beomgyu! I’m a healer or whatever, but what do you do? How do you pass the time?”

Beomgyu blinks, unsure where the girl who can barely keep her eyes fully open gets the energy. “Well, I don’t go out much on account of the bruising… I usually pass the time reading.” 

At this, Mary Jane lights up. “Reading? I love books! What do you read?” she asks excitedly, nearly a golden retriever at this moment. Maybe if she’s enthusiastic enough, he will crack a smile.

Not yet, though. “Uh, mostly fantasy. I mostly read fiction, novels. I like scifi too, but fantasy is my favorite,” Beomgyu explains, more interested than before, maybe, but still far from excited.

“Ah. I only really read nonfiction. I’m a bit of a nerd, I guess,” Mary Jane confesses sheepishly. It’s this that finally gets a reaction out of Beomgyu, eyebrows shooting up. 

“Nonfiction? Really? But isn’t it boring?” he implores, eyes widened. “I don’t really read that stuff for fun.”

“Not at all! I love to learn about the outside world. I can’t experience all of it myself, but I can learn about it. I can hear the stories of those who came before me, too. Of how the world became this way,” she muses, thoughtful words in contrast to her lazy drawl. At this, Beomgyu pouts in consideration. He gives her a shrug. “Besides, doesn’t fiction kind of get boring sometimes? When you think about how the stories aren’t even real…”

Peach Beomgyu can’t help but blink as he realizes the differences in their ways of thinking. He didn’t anticipate that this eccentric girl would be, perhaps, a bigger nerd than him, but anything was possible. Before he can think much further into it, though, his eyes start to feel a bit fuzzy- and not like his peach fuzz. “Uh, Mary Jane? I’m starting to feel it, I think,” he stutters softly, chest warm.

Mary Jane’s eyes light up as she peers over at him, examining his demeanor. Drooping posture, half-lidded eyes… “You’re high,” she smiles. 

“High?” Beomgyu asks, brows furrowing. “Isn’t that bad?”

Mary Jane shrugs. “It won’t harm your body nearly as much as alcohol would, because it stresses your liver. And since you didn’t even smoke it, your lungs will be fine. Marijuana is a depressant like alcohol, so it general slows down the nervous system. The high will last about two or three hours.” When she sees the nervous look on his face, she softens a bit further. "You wanted to give it a try, right?"

Beomgyu slowly nods. He had been willing. It’s just that now that he’s heard the term “high” all his negative associations begin to surface once more. Still, this really wasn’t that bad. For once, his arms weren’t aching, and neither were his legs. Even the bruise on his ribs was conspicuously numb. “I did. I guess I’m just nervous because I’ve never been high before…” he trails off. 

Mary Jane hums in understanding, her own edible starting to hit as well. “It’s okay, you’ll be fine. I’ll be right here in case you have a bad reaction or anything. You should expect some dry mouth though. Unfortunate side effect,” she chuckles. Beomgyu nods, cracking a small smile at the sound of her laugh. 

“Alright, I guess I can live with that,” he murmurs playfully, relaxing further into the couch cushions. The further he sinks into the plush stuffing, the more weightless he feels. It’s almost akin to floating on clouds, if they were covered in corduroy. A feeling of relaxation and general pleasantness washes over not only his body, but also his mind. His anxieties begin to fade.

Mary Jane tilts her head, gaze narrowing as she gives him a knowing look. He was rather cute as he grew more dazed. She hadn’t known him for long, but this was the first time she’d seen him so peaceful. “So how do you feel? How’s the pain?”

Beomgyu hums happily as he melts into the couch beside her. He hadn’t even consciously thought about the bruising, really. But his pain was definitely alleviated in this moment. Or maybe some of it was there, but the high made him not care, made it not bother him. He wasn’t sure. But before Beomgyu can even realize it, silent tears slip down his cheeks. This is the first time he's been without pain in years.

The second Mary sees his tears, her heart aches, and she quickly touches his shoulder again. “Oh, Beom, are you okay? Why are you crying, Peach?” she coos, a more doting side of her coming out. She was a caretaker, ultimately. 

Peach Beomgyu sniffles, wiping his face clumsily with the back of his hand. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, it's just… I can’t remember the last time I felt relief like this,” he confesses in a whimper. Mary’s heart wrenches. 

Hesitant, she opens her arms. “Oh, sweetheart… can I hold you?” she whispers, needing permission before she touches him, no matter how much her heart was screaming at her too. Especially with his sensitive skin. There were times when having discipline was important, to not impulsively give into her instincts, and this was one of them.

When Beomgyu wordlessly nods, Mary Jane scoops him up in her arms as delicately as she can, cradling his taller form against hers. She’s soft to the touch, squishy under his weight. After all, all these years of the munchies hadn’t left her particularly skinny. 

Beomgyu lets out a shaky sigh as he eases in her grasp, slowly letting go of his muscles. He didn’t want to crush her with his weight, but the high was relaxing his body so much. He felt so heavy, but not in a bad way. Mary Jane quietly coos again, gently stroking his back over his shirt. Beomgyu can’t help but give in completely, melting into a puddle in her hold. 

“...thank you,” he whispers meekly, a small, vulnerable voice. 

Mary Jane knew in that moment she would protect him to her death. 

“Of course, angel. You don’t need to thank me. You deserve to feel comfortable, to exist without pain…” she whispers back. 

And just like that, the two remain cuddled on her couch in comfortable silence. 

-

It becomes clear rather quickly that Beomgyu needed this kind of support regularly, and there was no reason for Mary to deny him. If she could help it, he would never feel pain again. After he went back home that first time, he’s continued to drop by regularly. Mary Jane offered to bring his supply to his house, but Beomgyu insisted that he needed to get out of the house once a week. Mary Jane didn’t realize what a little safe haven her home had come to feel like to him.

It’s a month later when Mary carefully blows him a glass bong of his own, forging in her garage. The smoke isn't anything out of the ordinary, anyway. She carefully sculpts the molten glass, adding a peach shaped bulb for the water to sit in at the base. Once the glass is cooled enough, Mary Jane can’t help calling him. 

“Peach Beomgyu?” Mary Jane chirps into the phone.

“Hm? Mary Jane?” she hears Beomgyu’s voice filtered back through the line.

“Yes! I have a gift for you. Could I come by?” she asks, biting her lip in excitement. She couldn’t wait to show him how to smoke this. Now that he’s opted to smoke so he can get the relief faster, this would be a game changer. 

“I was already going to drop by later today to pick up my stash anyway. I’ll be there in a couple hours,” he responds. He can’t help but smile to himself when he hears her eagerness through the phone. She was rather excitable. 

“If you’re really sure you’re okay with walking all this way?” she asks with a grimace. 

“Mary Jane, it’s like three streets down. I’m not that bruised,” he chuckles. He has sounded so much happier lately, she thinks she could cry. Still, she laughs at his joke. 

“Alright, alright, I won’t nag then. Just please be careful!” she acquiesces, before hanging up the phone.

-

As Mary Jane waits for Peach Beomgyu to arrive, she tidies her little cottage. Once she’s done with that, she’s a bit restless. She has to force herself to sit down on the couch to stop pacing willy-nilly.

While she sinks into the sofa, her gaze settles on the two bongs on her coffee table- one purple, like her, the other peach, like Beomgyu. Beomgyu wasn't in pain when he was with Mary Jane. But maybe she could aim higher than that. It didn't take long for Mary Jane to feel a deep connection to this young man. In a lot of ways, he was just like her, and just as lonely. The moment they shared was intimate, and she couldn’t help but feel guilty at how much it meant to her. She wasn’t supposed to be this attached. She was basically just a glorified dealer who deluded herself into thinking she's a nurse. But still, she had held him while his life changed. 

At this point, Mary couldn't help but want to please him more. Seeing his smile had become an addiction. Watching him come to stop hating his body was amazing. But maybe seeing him merely comfortable wasn’t enough. She wanted him to enjoy his body as a source of pleasure rather than pain for once. It was a body she loved, because despite its flaws, it was his. And not only that, it was the reason they met in the first place. Maybe, if Beomgyu had been a perfect peach, they wouldn’t have ever crossed paths.

Mary Jane’s thoughts are interrupted when she hears a knock on the door. She quickly shakes the thoughts away, jumping to her feet to answer the door. There he was, looking far more radiant than ever. “Hey, Mary,” Beomgyu says with a smile, stepping inside. Mary Jane can’t help smiling back- it was like his grin was contagious, somehow.

“Hi, Beom! Come on in,” she says, stepping aside to allow him inside. It doesn’t take long for Beomgyu’s eyes to fall onto the bongs on display. 

“Oh, Mary Jane! You bought me this?” he asks, eyes lighting up as he takes hold of the peachy bong. He examines it as he sits on the sofa. 

Mary Jane feels some shyness come over her as she fidgets with her sleeve. “I, uh, actually made it,” she explains with a soft smile. 

At this, Peach Beomgyu looks at her incredulously. “You can do glass work?” he questions, baffled. 

Mary Jane can only nod as she awkwardly sits next to him. For some reason, being the center of attention right now made her squirm. It was completely irrational, but after the inappropriate thoughts she had just moments ago, she was scared he would somehow sense it. She was terrified he would find out. “Oh, yeah. It’s something I learned from the bakery twirling sugar. Glass is the same…” she trails off awkwardly, unable to meet his eyes. 

Beomgyu assumes she’s just become meek because he’s praising her work, and doesn’t think much else of it. “Well, why don’t we try them out?” he suggests with a smirk. 

Mary Jane blinks. She was certainly more than eager to no longer be sober. “Fuck yeah. I’ll show you how to use it,” she says. And with that, she plucks the peach bong from his hands, heading to the kitchen. She pours some fresh water into the chamber before returning with some weed already ground. 

“Alright, so it’s kind of like smoking a pipe, but bigger,” she chuckles, welcoming the distraction. She packs the bowl, before turning to give him a clear view of what she’s doing. “When you want to take a rip, you cover this hole-” she explains, gesturing to it with her fingers and demonstrating- “and then you put your lips on the mouth piece and inhale. It’s more intense than smoking a joint, though, so keep that in mind.”

Peach Beomgyu slowly nods as he watches. 

“Are you ready?” Mary Jane asks, tilting her head. Peach Beomgyu blushes, but nods, taking the bong into his hands. It really was pretty, he thought. He didn’t want to fuck this up. 

Mary Jane smiles as she helps him, guiding his hands to where they belong. “Alright, put your mouth on. You can breathe through your nose,” she chuckles. Once he does, she flicks her lighter on, lighting the bowl. Steamy smoke begins to billow within the bong, and Mary Jane can’t help but grin excitedly. “Okay, now you can suck it up into your mouth and inhale.”

Beomgyu does as instructed, only to hold it shortly before coughing out a laugh. “Damn, that is different,” he chuckles breathlessly. 

“You did it!” Mary Jane cheers, beaming. Beomgyu takes another rip, holding it much longer now before he exhales, the smoke billowing from his lips. 

“I did,” he drawls with a smirk, passing her the bong. Mary Jane simply blinks for a moment, having imagined using her own. Still, she can’t resist. She swiftly takes the bong herself, taking a long rip before relaxing into the couch with a sigh. “I take it you like these, huh?” Beomgyu murmurs with amusement. Mary Jane only nods. 

The two continue like that until the bowl is all gone, melting into puddles on the couch. She begins to repack the bowl, mostly moving out of muscle memory. In her daze, mind left to her own devices, Mary Jane can’t help glancing over at Beomgyu. She doesn’t notice when she freezes in place. Beomgyu really was incredibly handsome. The straight slope of his nose, the way his eyelashes feather his cheeks (especially when he could barely keep his eyes open like now), his soft lips. She doesn’t even realize she’s staring until he calls her out. 

“Hey, Mary Jane? Earth to Mary Jane?” he drawls with a smirk, snapping her out of it. Mary Jane hums, perking up at attention. “What are you thinking about? You got all zoned out staring at me.”

Mary Jane feels her cheeks burn, turning to light the bowl. “Snacks. I’m starting to get the munchies,” she jokes, lying with ease. “I like to eat, you know…” she trails off with a playful look, gazing down at her plump body before looking back at him. She then lifts the bong to her lips. 

“Nothing wrong with that. Bet if I had a better appetite I’d have a lot more energy,” he chuckles, but Mary Jane doesn’t miss the way his gaze lingers on her figure. She was definitely curvy, large chest and round belly obvious with her form-fitting top. Not that he minded. He loved how plush and squishy she was when she had held him the day they met.

“That’s fair enough. I think the energy might be wasted on a lazy stoner like me, though,” she retorts, smoke let loose with every word. Though there’s something between them now, some elephant in the room. Mary Jane doesn’t know if it’s just the purple haze, or wishful thinking, but the air feels different now that she's noticed his gaze. 

“Nothing is wasted on you,” Beomgyu says automatically. Mary Jane’s eyes widen. She quickly searches his face, only for him to blush when he feels her examine him. “What?” he murmurs, much more softly. 

“Nothing. That was just really sweet. And I don’t know… something just feels different…” she answers quietly. Mary Jane was a lot of things, but tight-lipped wasn’t really one of them. She hated silence, she hated walking on egg shells, she hated ignoring tension. 

“Different how?” Beomgyu asks, a hint of trepidation in his voice. 

Mary Jane can’t help but sigh, giving him an earnest look. “You really want to know?” she questions, peering back at him skeptically. 

“...Well, now I’m nervous. But yeah,” he answers quietly, honest. 

“I find you attractive,” she confesses bluntly, looking back at him with a simple gaze. Beomgyu almost chokes on a breath. For a short moment, he just looks back into her eyes. Maybe Mary was wrong- maybe his gaze didn’t linger. Maybe she imagined it. He doesn’t say anything at first, wordlessly taking his bong back for another rip. Mary Jane watches him in silence as his eyes flutter shut, little clouds of white slipping from his mouth. “...Beomgyu?” Mary Jane murmurs tentatively, tilting her head. 

“Hmmm?” Beomgyu hums lazily, eyes slowly blinking open. 

“I’m interested in you. I guess I didn’t really ask anything, but I thought you might comment,” she chuckles. Despite the blush on her cheeks and the way her heart fluttered, she still lets out a little joke as if she weren’t shaking in her boots. 

“Oh, yeah…” he murmurs, blinking slowly as he gives her a once over. “You’re pretty cute yourself.” Mary Jane can’t really read his expression. After burying all his time in books, he wasn’t very skilled with flirting. Still, she smiles at his compliment. 

“Yeah? Just cute?” she murmurs with a smirk, plucking the bong from his hands once more to have some more herself. Once she inhales, she sets the bong down. “How cute?” she teases, leaning in with that same smirk, smoke escaping her nose. 

Beomgyu gulps. She looked like a sexy dragon sizing him up. It only made him feel even smaller and more helpless under her gaze. “...uh, very?” he mumbles, almost inaudible. As Mary watches him fluster, she’s only emboldened more. The high alleviates some of her inhibitions, and she’s more playful than usual.

She takes a hit without ever taking her eyes off of him, before leaning closer. “Cute enough to kiss?” she purrs, lips hovering mere inches from his. The scent of the warm smoke brushing against his lips makes his breath hitch. It’s all Beomgyu can do to nod, cheeks nearly flushed scarlet. When his eyes drift down to her lips, snake bites glinting in the light, Mary Jane realizes he likes them. And with that, she captures his lips in hers, exhaling the smoke into his mouth. 

She pulls back with a satisfied smirk, reclining against the couch cushions as she keeps her gaze intent on him. He lets out a shaky breath, the smoke slowly slipping past his parted lips. He just looked stunned, as if nothing were going on in that head of his. Frozen in place, he watched her with doe eyes. “Maybe next time we get high, baby,” she begins, looking at him with darker eyes, “I can take care of you. Make you feel good when your body isn’t hurting, hun. But sober you will have to decide on that,” she asserts.

Beomgyu feels a shiver course through him, face burning more than the hot smoke in his lungs. Take care of him? His body? He almost couldn’t wrap his head around what she was suggesting. Still, she was pretty, and it was hard to say no. He quietly nods, peering back at her like a puppy. Shit, he was supposed to smart. This stupid fucking weed was making him dumb. “...okay. I’ll think about it.”

-

It’s not until the following day, when Beomgyu has sobered up, that Mary Jane hears from him. “Hello?”

“Mary Jane?” a voice calls from the other side. She’d recognize that voice anywhere at this point. 

“Yeah?” 

He’s quiet for a bit, trying to pick the right words. “I… I’m sober now,” ends up being what slips out.

Mary Jane chuckles. “I should hope so,” she jokes smoothly, ignoring the quickening pace of her heart. “What does sober Beomgyu have to say?”

“...I want to try it,” he murmurs shyly, almost a mumble. He doesn’t know why it’s so hard to get the words out, she can’t even see him. But her voice alone was enough to make him weak in the knees.

Mary Jane is silent for a moment. “Are you sure? I don’t want to take advantage of you, baby,” she clarifies, slipping the pet name out to sober him for the first time without thinking. 

It makes his heart do a flip. “Yeah, I’m sure. You introduced me to new things before… I trust you,” he says automatically, the words seeming to come back to him. Mary Jane can’t help but smirk to herself. Maybe he really did want this. 

“Alright, Beom. Bring an overnight bag and I can take care of you tonight,” she instructs, and Beomgyu instinctively nods. She can’t even see him; what is he doing? 

“Okay. Tonight?” he murmurs, voice still a bit shaky. Mary Jane can just imagine him fidgeting with his sleeves on the other side of the phone. 

“Tonight.”

-

Beomgyu fusses with his hair as he stands on her doorstep that evening, procrastinating knocking. He felt like this girl might eat him alive. She was ostracized from the village for a reason... but the way she made him feel, as if blending into a blissful harmony with the world around him in a way he never had before, was too tempting to resist. He never felt unsafe around Mary Jane, only nervous about the unknown.

Finally, he musters up the courage to knock.

"Beom!" Mary Jane beams, eyes lit up with excitement as she throws open the door. "You came."

"Mary Jane," he mirrors with a smile, "I did." He follows her into the cottage, putting his bag down by the couch.

"So, have you eaten dinner already, hun?" Mary drawls, already halfway to the kitchen.

"Ah! No, not yet..." he explains sheepishly, gently scratching the side of his neck.

Mary Jane smirks. "Well, lucky for you, I have prepared a fabulous meal," she declares playfully, mimicking a posh accent. It isn't even that funny on its own, but something about Mary's unapologetic corniness was endearing. Beomgyu can't help letting a chuckle slip.

"Well, I'd be honored," he responds softly, playing along. He follows Mary Jane to the kitchen, helping bring the dishes and silverware to the table. "You didn't cook weed in any of this, did you?"

Mary Jane laughs. "No, no, that's for dessert," she jokes. She carefully carries her pot of spaghetti to the table, oven mitts shielding her hands.

"More of your infamous brownies? I can't believe you ever gave one of those to Blueberry Kai," he teases, setting their places. Mary Jane scoffs, jaw dropping in a scandalized smile as she takes her spot opposite him.

"I didn't realize that if I don't wear gloves, everything I bake gets contaminated with weed! It wasn't on purpose!" she insists, placing her oven mitts aside.

"Likely story," Beomgyu murmurs with a smirk, eyeing her skeptically. "Are you sure you didn't just want to get someone else hooked so you can have stoner friends?"

Mary Jane's jaw drops into that baffled grin again, a sputtering sound of disbelief slipping past her lips. "You're a stoner too, now! I hope you remember that!" she retorts.

"Yeah, and it's all because you groomed me to be," he teases again, now just happy to push her buttons. Mary Jane just scoffs, rising from her seat to serve them both a good amount of spaghetti.

"Don't tempt me. If you keep treating me like a criminal, I might as well have the fun of enjoying the crime," she smirks, sitting back down with a satisfied grin and a glimmer in her eye. Suddenly, Beomgyu felt a shiver go down his spine.

"F-fine..." he stutters, a bit thrown by her flirty look. He quickly shovels some spaghetti in his mouth, eyes settled on his plate rather than her.

"You can dish it but you can't take it, huh?" Mary giggles, taking a bite of her own. Beomgyu looks back at her with a slight blush, shaking his head.

The two continue to eat their respective meals in silence for a bit, until Mary Jane remembers their earlier conversation. "Hey, Beomgyu," she whispers, quieter than before.

He hums, lifting his head to look back at her with clueless eyes.

"You said I could take care of you tonight. You know what I meant, right?" she asks, looking back at him plainly. "I meant sex."

Beomgyu sputters again, nearly choking on the bit of spaghetti still in his mouth. He's certain that the tips of his ears are glowing red now. He grimaces with his lips in a tight line, nodding as a strangled "mhm" sounds from his throat.

Mary Jane can't help but chuckle at his reaction. "Sorry, I just wanted to make sure... You were high when I suggested it," she jokes, shrugging. She takes her plate then, standing and carrying it off to the sink.

Beomgyu scarfs down the rest of his meal before following her meekly, trying his best to ignore his burning face. "Thank you," Mary Jane smiles, carefully taking his plate to wash off alongside her own.

"I should thank you... You're the one who made me dinner," he murmurs softly, reaching over to try and take the sponge. Mary Jane tsks, pushing him aside with her shoulder.

"You're a guest. It's two plates and a pot, I can manage," she reassures with a chuckle, before gesturing with a flick of her head. "Go ahead and have a brownie. Treat time," she smirks.

Peach Beomgyu certainly won't turn down an intoxicating treat. He takes one of the brownies sitting on the counter, letting out a happy sigh after his first bite. It doesn't take long for Mary Jane to finish up the dishes and have one as well.

-

"Let's go get ready for bed," she suggests, giving Beomgyu a questioning look to which he simply nods.

Peach Beomgyu grabs his cute duffel bag, peachy-pink like everything else he owns, and follows Mary Jane down the hall to her room. "Ah, where's your bathroom..?" Beomgyu asks meekly.

"Right here, first door on the left," she explains with a soft smile. Beomgyu nods gratefully, slipping inside with his things.

Mary Jane makes it the rest of the way to her room, butterflies settling in her chest. Beomgyu brought his bag into the bathroom with him, so he must be getting ready. He'd probably be gone long enough for her to get changed into pajamas of her own.

Mary Jane grabs a sheer purple nightie, lacy trim on the edges. In reality, she never wears cute shit like this to bed- who did? But Beomgyu didn't have to know that she normally slept in a huge tee and ratty old sweatpants. Those weren't so sexy. Tonight, she'd look at least a little alluring. Hopefully.

Meanwhile, Beomgyu is having his own wardrobe doubts in the bathroom. He was in completely regular pajamas- a white tank top and plaid pajama bottoms. But still, he couldn't help his shyness. Beomgyu nearly always wore long sleeves and covered as much skin as possible for fear of his bruises attracting unwanted attention. As he looks himself in the mirror, so many conflicting feelings come bubbling to the surface of his gut. He gulps, steeling himself to exit the bathroom.

When Mary Jane hears the door open, she looks up with excitement, only to be met with the vulnerable look in Beomgyu's eyes. She can hardly take it- it's like her heart is clenched in his fist. She immediately coos. "Oh, Beom, come here," she whispers, perched atop her bed.

Beomgyu blushes as he sees her body veiled in lilac, plump and round. He nods, hesitating for a moment before closing the distance to join her. It doesn't take any time at all for Mary Jane to open her arms to him, pulling him up against her.

Beomgyu lets out a shaky breath. "Sorry, I just... don't let people see the bruises much," he confesses in a whisper. Mary Jane nods, gently petting his hair as he settles in her hold.

"You're very handsome. I'm pretty lucky to have the viewing pleasure," she reassures in a playful whisper. Beomgyu can't help but chuckle at her flirty words.

"Leave it to you to hit on me at such a moment," he snarks. Still, it's a bit hard to keep his head straight at this point. The brownie is starting to kick in, blood abuzz. He instinctively nuzzles his face into her shoulder as he leans against her, the sensation of her silky skin against his fuzzy cheek pleasant. Her large breasts are nearly an inch from his face, and he's trying really hard to ignore that fact and not freak out.

Mary Jane giggles. "Maybe if you saw yourself the way I do, you'd understand how hard it is to keep my mouth shut," she whispers, gently stroking his back. She smiles down at him, his pretty brown eyes magnetic. "But I suppose I could show you..?" she suggests softly.

Peach Beomgyu blushes at her cheeky suggestion, gulping once more. He looks up at her with a curious gaze, head still resting atop her shoulder. "Show me?" he repeats under his breath.

Mary Jane nods, smiling sweetly despite the darker spark in her eyes. "Did the edible hit, baby? How do you feel?" she whispers, glancing down to his bruised arm. She gently caresses the spot, carefully gauging his reaction. "Does it hurt?"

Beomgyu shakes his head, sucking in a shaky breath. "No... not sore," he whispers.

That's all Mary Jane needs to hear, swiftly lowering him onto his back so he's reclining atop her pillows. Beomgyu's breath hitches as he's nearly manhandled by the smaller woman, though she's probably twice his weight. Maybe she's really just shorter.

Mary Jane giggles when as she notices his stunned reaction. "Relax, baby. Just gonna make you feel good," she murmurs comfortingly, moving in to lay beside him. Beomgyu gulps again, but nods.

Once he's relaxed a bit more, Mary Jane leans in to begin trailing kisses down his jaw. She hums, the soft scent of peaches surrounding her as she drags her lips over his skin. "You're much sweeter than me," she whispers, lips curled up in a grin as her path leads her to his sensitive neck. His peach fuzz stands at end, a shaky gasp escaping his throat.

"Mary Jane..." he whispers, hands instinctively lifting up to hold onto her by his side. She doesn't let up, continuing to trail gentle, loving kisses along his flesh.

She can't help but giggle at his half-hearted protest. "What? It's true! Peaches smell better than pot," she teases, kissing her way down to the juncture of his neck and shoulder.

Beomgyu can only groan, too weak to protest in his dazed state. The combination of the high dizzying his mind and the overwhelming sensations of her playing with some of the most sensitive spots on his body is simply too much to bear.

Mary Jane hums in response, making her way down his shoulder. Beomgyu is hardly paying attention to what she's doing, just along for the ride. Mary Jane coats him in kisses, making her way from one bruise to the next, gently worshiping his marred skin. "You're gorgeous," she whispers sweet praises, taking her time to appreciate every piece of him. The high heightens every sensation, each touch all Beomgyu can comprehend in his daze.

By the time she reaches his hand, trailing kisses over his knuckles one by one, Beomgyu can't help but whimper. No one has ever spoiled him with this much attention before.

Mary Jane smiles, peering back at his face with loving eyes. "What is it, baby? Am I going too slow?" she whispers, unabashed affection in her eyes. It makes his heart skip a beat as he swallows.

"N-no... I just... I didn't think you'd be so sweet..." he mumbles, shyly averting his gaze. Mary Jane was normally so playful and cheeky, and here she was doting on him like he were the most precious man in the world.

Mary Jane can't help but laugh at his words. "I can be mean?" she whispers with a teasing look, to which Beomgyu's eyes widen. He frantically shakes his head. "That's what I thought," she finishes with a smirk.

Once she finishes pressing little pecks to the tips of each of his fingers, she swiftly moves to straddle his lap. "No pain?" she whispers, to which he nods. She carefully rests his arm on the bed once more before lifting its opposite, starting from the tips of his fingers to kiss her way back up his body. Beomgyu shivers as her soft lips trace his body, a shaky breath escaping him. Mary Jane hums with pleasure while mapping his body.

Eventually Mary Jane has made it all the way back to his neck. She presses her lips beneath his jaw, caressing his skin lovingly. Beomgyu sighs, eyes fluttering open to give her a pleading look. Mary Jane nearly freezes when she sees it. Still, she's determined to do this properly. She kisses her way along his jaw and cheek to complete her path before finally giving him what he wants.

Mary Jane captures his lips in hers, the sudden action after all the anticipation stunning Beomgyu for a moment. It takes a second for his dazed mind to catch up to whats happening, to which he finally returns her kiss, arms slipping up around her waist. Mary Jane can't help but sigh against his lips, relaxing into his arms.

Beomgyu feels his stomach do a little flip when she hears her breathy sigh. The sound was so intimate, soft, vulnerable. He instinctively kisses her with greater need, and it doesn't take long for Mary Jane to catch on and part her lips. "Damn, baby," she purrs between kisses, softly licking at his bottom lip. Beomgyu can only groan in response.

The sound makes Mary Jane's eyes darken as a possessive sort of hunger flares up inside her. Fuck, his voice sounded hot. Once allowed entrance to his mouth, her tongue curls around his. She's greedy for dominance, and Beomgyu doesn't seem to care, just soaking it all up. At the feeling of her tongue dancing with his, Beomgyu lets out moan, slowly losing his inhibitions as the weed and lust cloud his mind.

If Mary Jane wasn't wet before, she certainly was now. She groans, quickly breaking their kiss to hastily undress him. "Let me take this off?" she whispers, breath heavy as she pulls back to grab the hem of his tank top. Beomgyu gulps, simply nodding with red cheeks and parted lips.

Mary Jane wants to rip the damned garment off, but she is too smart for that. She couldn't hurt Beomgyu. So she instead carefully removes it from his body, helping him shimmy out of it with her jaw set. It was taking all her self control not to pounce on him completely, and she wondered if he knew it. Once he's left bare, tender chest and bruised side visible, Mary Jane can't help but curse. "Fuck, you're so beautiful," she sighs, gently kissing each newly exposed bruise.

Beomgyu blushes as he opens his mouth to speak, only to gasp when she licks a stripe up his chest. It was much lewder than the delicate kisses of before, and he shudders. "Oh, Jesus, Mary Jane," he pleads softly, holding her a bit tighter. Mary Jane feels his cock twitch beneath her, and it only spurs her on further.

At this point, Mary Jane's mind is blank, simply indulging in her impulses. She licks and sucks at his skin, leaving little hickeys to bloom across his chest. He can feel the vibrations of her hums through his skin. At a particularly harsh suck, Beomgyu whimpers, hips stuttering beneath her. "Fuck, baby, you taste like heaven," she whispers against his skin, finally climbing off his lap to begin her descent.

It takes all of Beomgyu's self control not to squirm as her searing hot lips trail down his abdomen. At this point he's perpetually breathless, panting beneath her touch. "Mary Jane, please..." he begs softly, the lack of friction where he needs it beginning to ache.

"Relax baby, I've got you," she whispers, finally making her way down to his waistband. "May I?" she asks, meeting his eyes. When he nods clumsily, she helps him kick his pants and boxers right off, hard dick slapping his stomach. Her mouth is already watering at the sight.

"Fuck, look at this cute cock," she purrs, carefully taking him into her hand. Pretty pink tip and swollen with need, she wants to taste him right there. So she does.

Beomgyu lets out a soft cry when Mary Jane licks his tip, quickly grabbing onto her hair. "Mary!"

Mary Jane can't help but giggle as he squirms beneath her. "Sorry, baby, you taste like peaches and cream," she whispers, pressing an affectionate peck to his tip before releasing him. She moves to straddle his hips once more, hovering over his lap. "Don't want you to hate this wonderful body of yours anymore," she sighs, leaning in to press a kiss to his forehead.

Beomgyu doesn't know whether to laugh or cry when she ambushes him with such sweet words after saying something so filthy. His hands settle on her hips as he peers back up at her with blown-out eyes. "I... I won't..." he whispers, gulping.

Mary Jane smiles, nodding. After a moment, she lifts herself up a bit, slipping off her panties. Beomgyu gulps. "Mary Jane... you're sure?" he whispers, searching her eyes. Mary Jane's heart immediately melts. She was the one taking him, and he was still trying to make sure.

"More certain than I've ever been," she whispers, leaning in to steal a quick kiss. "Want to milk that pretty cock of yours, baby," she purrs against his lips, explicit words in contrast of her sickeningly sweet tone. All Beomgyu can do is gulp and whimper while he feels his cock throb. "Are you sure?"

Peach Beomgyu nods, face flushed scarlet. "Yeah," he whispers. "Mary Jane, I want you," he confesses for the first time.

Mary Jane can't help but smirk, his words going straight to her ego. She reaches down to align him with her dripping entrance, eyes locked with his. "Fill me up, baby," she whispers with a lopsided grin, before finally taking him in. Her walls are snug around him as she bottoms out, lower lip drawn between her teeth. Beomgyu lets out a deep moan, head fallen back against the pillows as he squeezes his eyes shut. It takes all his self control not to buck his hips. "Fuck, you fill me up so good."

"Please move," Beomgyu whimpers, fingers digging into her hips as he struggles to stay still. Mary Jane can't help but giggle as she looks down at him. She had this effect on him? It was too good to be true. Experimentally, she softly rolls her hips, gaze intent on his face as she toys with him. Beomgyu's hips stutter in response as he whimpers, hazy eyes slowly fluttering open to give her a pleading look.

Those puppy eyes were her weakness.

"Don't worry baby, I've got you," she coos, resting her hands on his shoulders to brace herself before she rides him. Her purple nightie sways with her movements, though the sheer material leaves nothing to the imagination. Her large breasts bounce as she finds a rhythm, walls fluttering around him. At this point, he's crossfaded- high and pussy-drunk.

Wanton, unrestricted moans fill the cottage as the two chase their high. Beomgyu gradually begins to meet her movements, hitting Mary Jane at a new angle that makes her see stars. "Fuck!" she gasps, walls clamping down around him. The bed creaks with each move of their joined hips.

"Mary Jane, I'm-" Beomgyu starts, but she doesn't need to hear a syllable more before she interrupts.

"Cum, baby, fill me up," she commands, voice stern and commanding despite being strained from breathlessness. Beomgyu whimpers, nearly there.

Determined to take him over the threshold, Mary Jane leans in, capturing his lips in hers. She sucks on his tongue, swallowing his moans as their movements reach a crescendo. It doesn't take more than a couple more thrusts for Beomgyu to burst.

A flood of warmth fills Mary Jane and she shudders, the sensation of his release bringing her ecstasy. But even more than that, it's the whine that escapes Beomgyu with his release that breaks her. With a deep guttural moan from within her chest Mary Jane reaches her peak, walls pulsing and fluttering around Beomgyu's sensitive cock. The two ride out their overlapping highs, hips clumsy. Their foreheads fall together as they part for air, equally panting.

Waves of euphoria pass through them both before the exertion catches up to them. Mary Jane slumps atop Beomgyu with a shudder, slowly catching her breath.

"Holy shit," Beomgyu whispers. Mary Jane opens her eyes just to see his beautiful post-orgasm glow, fucked-out expression on his face. She can't help but grin.

"You look so fucking delicious," she whispers, voice a little hoarse from their previous activity.

Beomgyu would blush at the praise if he weren't already beet red. "So do you," he whispers.

Mary Jane slowly sits up again, hissing as she climbs off his lap. The emptiness is immediately upsetting, but she can't keep him forever. Slowly she slips her hand beneath her dress, fingers swiping up some of his peachy release. She licks her fingers clean with a hum of satisfaction, relaxing atop his lap.

Beomgyu groans at the sight. She had no shame.

-

authors note: idk how did i do guys? should i never write smut again? did you jerk off to this? did any of my shitty jokes land? happy new year. if i find any mistakes or typos i might edit the post. gonna go get high now

[vashtijoy]

Something I've noticed for a while is that Akechi doesn't appear to say that he was in foster care in the Japanese script.

Akechi おかげで僕は、色んな所を転々とさせられて、まあ、今じゃ気ままな一人暮らしだけどね。 okage de boku wa, ironna tokoro o tenten to saserarete, maa, ima ja kimamana hitori kurashi da kedo ne Thanks to him, I was passed from foster home to foster home. But, I do quite well by myself these days. After that, nobody would keep me for too long, so I got moved about a lot. But now I'm alone and free to live as I choose.

There are a few interesting points here:

おかげで okage de, "thanks to"

Akechi does not specify what or who he's crediting here; the translator has glossed in "thanks to him". IMO it's more likely to be "because of the death of my mother"—the thing he was just speaking of. Shido is responsible, but (at least according to Akechi's flow of speech) he is slightly indirectly responsible.

転々とさせられて tenten to saserarete

tenten to suru, in this context, means moving around often from place to place; living at a lot of different addresses. But note the passive-causative on suru here, saserareru. This is something that was done to Akechi, something others inflicted on him, something he experienced as a profound negative. This was bad. Looking at what he goes on to say later—"so someone would want me around!"—I've tried to capture this with "nobody would keep me".

Also note that tenten to suru, while not usually violent in this "moving about" context, is also a term for e.g. kicking a ball around, which again makes it an interesting choice of words.

気ままな一人暮らし kimamana hitori kurashi

This is a set phrase, essentially meaning "a free and carefree life alone"; it's used, often with a little irony, to describe the joys of living alone, or of being single. Note that Akechi does not mean this—he sounds (JP audio) miserable as fuck, and he's brought this up, rather ineffectively, to try and lighten the mood.

It comes across as "I was alone, and I'm still alone, but at least now I'm alone on my own terms and can do as I please"—which he knows is untrue, and we know is untrue, and Ren and Futaba can surely tell is untrue.

By the way, this quick use of a throwaway stereotype, as if it explains everything—ima ja kimamana hitori kurashi da kedo ne—is one of Akechi's verbal tricks; he becomes laconic in this way when he touches on things he doesn't want to discuss, things that are sensitive to him.

This is how he explains to the others in the engine room that he's illegitimate, for instance—tsumari kakushigo sa, "In short, I'm his secret child", kakushigo ("hidden child") here being a popular term, with no real English parallel, for the secret or unacknowledged child of someone famous or powerful.

You could maybe render his line here as a detached-sounding "but now I'm footloose and fancy-free", for the same effect.

色んな所 ironna tokoro

This is what has been translated "foster homes", but it just means "all sorts of different places":

Akechi 色んな所を転々とさせられた ironna tokoro o tenten to saserareta I was passed around from pillar to post.

So: he was passed from place to place, from pillar to post. Like a pebble rolling on a beach, or a ball being kicked around a field. Do we know what any of those places might have been? No; he doesn't tell us. There's IMO nothing here to suggest that he was in the care of the state—but equally, there's nothing that excludes it.

But Akechi returns to this in the anime, in Proof of Justice—and he is far more specific:

Akechi だから、母が死んだあとは、親戚の間を転々として行ったね。 dakara, haha ga shinda ato wa, shinseki no aida o tenten to shite itta ne After my mother died, I was passed around my relatives.

Anime Akechi gives us more detail, again with tenten to suru, but he removes a lot of the emphatic force—we gain the detail that he was with his relatives, but we lose that outraged passive-causative, that makes it clear this hurt him—what I've tried to capture with "nobody would keep me for long" up at the top. It's possible, of course, that the difference in tone is to do with the different tone in the two scenes—game Akechi is at a very low point, while anime Akechi seems reflective and chill.

But is this canon? Well, usually when the game and the anime contradict, I prefer the game for its lack of adaptation drift. But there are a couple of occasions when the anime seems to clarify things that were not clear in the game text—and IMO, this is one. Per the game, Akechi was passed from place to place; the anime clarifies that those "places" were with his relatives.

TBH, even the localisation's "foster home" doesn't necessarily imply state foster care; a relative who takes you in is a foster parent. Of course, if you want a backdoor here (which is in no way required, I'm not your mum), he never suggests how long he stayed with his relatives....

does anything in-game support this?

Well, there's one thing in the game that supports this reading, and it's actually on 8/28 itself. Immediately after Akechi says he was passed around after his mother's death, Futaba does this:

Remember, Futaba already does not like Akechi. She resents him for his pursuit of the Phantom Thieves, even before she suspects him of killing her mother. Yet when he mentions his sad past, she connects with him.

Why is that? It's because Futaba, too, was passed between her relatives—with the results we all know: they were abusive, exploitative and cruel, leading to her being rescued by Sojiro. The game draws an explicit connection here between Futaba and Akechi—suggesting that they have this backstory in common, of being passed between abusive relatives. It suggests we can glean a little more about Akechi's past by looking at what we learn about Futaba's.

And she was rescued; he was not. They both turned to crime to work off some of what they endured—but Futaba retained her moral centre, while Akechi fell off the edge. This is why she tells him what she does in the engine room: "You thought [being alone and not trusting anyone] was enough, right? That part I totally get."

but isn't he just lying his ass off here?

BTW, as to whether Akechi is just trying to ingratiate himself with Futaba (or with Ren) on 8/28—I don't think so; I think he tries, and then gives up after his performative cut-in. We just saw him trying to ingratiate himself with Sojiro—his failure there, at the start of the scene, is what upsets him and opens him up. So far, so good.

Is he trying to get in with Wakaba Isshiki's daughter, to continue his pursuit of her research on Sae's behalf?—the reason he was at Leblanc in the first place? No, because he never mentions it to Futaba, ever again.

What Akechi will do later is stand up for her, on 9/13, protesting Sae's threat to remove her from Sojiro's custody:

Sae: There have been frequent occurrences of mental shutdowns surrounding Okumura recently. Sae: If only there was a clear connection between him and the Phantom Thieves… Sae: Well, it would be problematic if there wasn't one. Akechi: So you're jumping the gun here. Akechi: You really told a man you would terminate his parental authority based purely on your speculation?

... and notice what he's doing here. Akechi clearly already knows about Sae's threats to Sojiro; she does not explain them in this scene. And Akechi has clearly not questioned her on it, as long as he thinks there's a reason for it. When it turns out there isn't one? He calls Sae out. Because Akechi knows what's it's like to be a child with nowhere to go.

Sure, it's not beneath him to throw Futaba to the wolves—or, ultimately, to try to kill her in the engine room. But he views it as distasteful, as unjustified, and as wrong. He knows gratuitous cruelty when he sees it—and it repels him. He knows the difference between right and wrong—he's just elected to ignore it.

And he expects far better than this from Sae.

revision history

click here for the latest version.

v1.2 (2023/11/21)—typos, plus extra context for the game and anime scenes.

v1.1 (2023/11/20)—reblog w/ additional commentary.

v1.0 (2023/11/20)—first posted.

[velvees-archive]

art cr: @cokiicookies on twitter

Tags: Love Confessions, Bratfeen, Art Student Feenie, Law Student Bratworth, Ace Attorney-typical cringefail, Canon Divergence

and many others!

HEAVILY inspired by @cokiicookies's bratfeen art on twitter! check out the full comic there!!!

"Hey...so...uh..." Phoenix coughs out, voice scratchy from his most recent line repetitions. It's a small mistake, not unsalvageable. All he has to do is stick to the script. Stick to the script. Stick... His eyes flick down to his note cards. He swears he’d printed them in his best penmanship, atop one of the library's extra premium desks, but everything is spinning and he feels faintly like he's going to throw up. "Did you uh," he starts, letters swirling in his eyes. "Did...you fall out of heaven...?" Genius prosecutor-in-training Miles Edgeworth regards him with a blank stare. Phoenix thinks now would be an opportune time for him to locate the nearest possible bridge and promptly jump off of it. - The joys and woes (mostly woes) of being in love, as told by BratFeen.

so i caved and wrote narumitsu. another huge thank you to @cokiicookies on twitter for allowing me to write an accompanying fic for their work. i attached some of the comic here in an attempt to entice you to look at their comic (well? are you enticed?!), but if you wanna see the full thing, please do give their art a like, a retweet, a comment, and all the love on twitter! fic screenshots below:

misc commentary/musings under the cut :)

the way i wrote feenie inner monologue and narration parallels my informal writing style, so writing his freak outs weren't challenging. consciously changing sentence structures/verbiage to be more or less extra, on the other hand, totally was.

the bulk of my pain came from writing fluff in the first place, stumbling through dialogue exchanges (as always), and attempting larry dialogue...all of which i honestly think i failed at pretty badly HAHA. who cares tho? it's my work!

bratfeen is one of my favorite narumitsu "eras" if you will. i've always wanted to write them. i didn't know the opportunity would come so soon (and at my expense considering i still have a zine fic to finalize for a diff fandom), but i took the shot. the full fic was written over the course of a day which i do not recommend anyone experience. i was on a writing hiatus for months and wrote 8k words as soon as i came back. do you see why i burnt out in the first place?

the easiest part about writing bratfeen is that none of the things i write are exaggerated for the purpose of carrying the plot forward. feenie believing that bratworth is better of a human being than everyone makes him out to be? sounds about right. feenie insisting to others that miles is the best thing since grilled cheese? his raging savior complex says that's likely to occur. feenie fumbling the bag because he thinks miles is the prettiest thing he's ever seen? yeah, 20 y/o feenie would! feenie shoving the asshole who talked shit abt miles? we saw the exact same thing with doug swallow (and we all know how that ended...). all of it is in line w his character. also miles being a try hard. that's a given.

i am hoping i can showcase more of my technical skill aka the angst writer in me with my next work, though i've been closely following fictober (haven't been publishing because, again, zine fic obligations) and have plenty of angsty fics stored in my drafts. i hope you enjoy my poor attempt at humor and fluff. may i muster the strength to finish the rest of my zine fic...please...

[yenonnoff]

ೃ⁀➷ the wanderer's love | (night)

synopsis: grieving comes differently to the wanderer—especially after the painful death of his significant other.

content: established relationship, angst, gn!reader dies haha; kazuha's part is a parallel version to this <3

note: this is 100% solely dedicated to @kqbukimono (may aka the best person ever aka loml) !!! i wrote this completely knowing that scara's ur fav and that u hate angst ᵔᴗᵔ this is for all the times that you annoyed me by being better at games

the wanderer's love | from beginning to end (kazuha)

your death had left him in despair. in devastation—in crushing anguish. 

there you were: cold and motionless, your life cruelly taken away far too soon. the gaping wound on your chest; the dried up blood coating your figure; and your spiritless eyes had left you unrecognizable.

there he was: looming over your deceased body with a soul-crushing expression. he didn’t want to believe that it was you. he didn’t want to admit that you were gone and that he was too late. in that moment, uncontrollable emotions swallowed him and he sought to avenge your death. it barely took a minute before he was by your side again. 

he stayed to wipe any dirt or blood off of your beautiful face. he stayed until he had the faintest will to stand—until he could no longer weep by your lifeless body. why did you leave him? why wasn’t he able to protect you? 

first, he cursed at the world and the men that took your life. then, he cursed at himself for failing you. 

for months after your burial the wanderer continued to mourn. he continued to grieve because he loved you. he couldn’t move on because a part of him was forever missing. 

no matter where he went, no matter what time of day it was, you were on his mind. even the simplest activity—strolling around sumeru’s enchanting forests—was agonizing. he couldn’t take another step without the smell of fresh dew and rain reminding him of you. 

it was worse at night when he couldn’t sleep. he would stargaze on top of canopies and wish desperately that you were still alive—still cheerful and warm with your head resting on his shoulder. he missed you. he missed your glory and tranquility; he missed the smiles that he would gladly go into battle for. 

nahida and the traveler had taught him the importance of realization and forgiveness. you had taught him the art of love and care. 

it was a slow process, however. the wanderer was accustomed to surrounding himself with walls and barriers. he was used to following his own rules, not charmed one bit by your strange way of thinking. (“strange,” because the wanderer never cared enough to see other people’s point of views). 

when he fell in love with you, it was like a chain reaction. everything became better: the wanderer—cynical and rude and previously wounded—grew to like himself whenever he was with you. “strange” turned into tolerable and then comforting. for the first time in a while, he was glad to exist. he was grateful to have met you, and now he was alone. 

you had taught him how to love, but not how to love again. so while you slumbered for eternity, your lover was awake with nothing but the memories of your warm hands in his. how peaceful it would be, he thought, to sleep with you by his side. 

his soul and his restless nights will continue to yearn for you. he’ll continue to reminisce about your time together until the memories wither away and lose themselves. the wanderer’s love will continue to roam aimlessly until it finds you again.

[ecargmura]

Dandadan Episode 11 Review - Jiji Goes Hehe

In a previous review, I did mention that Momo is the Shounen MC, but female, Okarun is the heroine, but male, and Aira is the rival, but female. The new character Jin Enjoji, or Jiji, joins in the reverse shounen story gender tropes as the fourth angle of the growing love square. Usually in shounen stories, there would be several girls who develop a crush on the MC, ranging from various types. For example, if Momo was male, Okarun would be the shy girl in love with the male MC and Jiji would be the girl that’s the total opposite of the shrinking violet. That’s essentially how Jiji is introduced throughout the episode—the total opposite of Okarun and a possible love interest for her. Don’t worry, though. Momo only has eyes for our male heroine.

Speaking of Jiji, he’s certainly…an interesting character. From a general standpoint, he’d be a divisive character, but for me, I find him hilarious. He’s entertaining, but doesn’t seem to go too overboard. He sort of reminds me of Kei from Oblivion Battery but less obnoxious. While he likes to clown around, Jiji does know when to shut up and not make a joke of everything like how he explained his situation to Momo about how the house he moved into was cursed and caused his parents to be hospitalized and how going to five different spirit mediums caused three of them to end their lives. He’s staying at the Ayase’s because Seiko is a spirit medium and is someone he’s acquainted with. The only downside is that Seiko’s not the one going to exorcise the cursed spirit; that’s Momo’s job. Haha, typical shounen MC mentor laziness.

Jiji probably means well, but he definitely is a source of emotional conflict for Okarun in this episode. Throughout the episode, he starts feeling jealous of Jiji as he’s everything he’s not and the fact that Momo used to have a crush on him back in elementary school. He was worried about whether Momo would want to spend more time with Jiji and not with Okarun because of his good looks and entertaining personality, but also failed to see that Momo doesn’t really care about a guy’s looks and that she was already over him a long time ago. The incident with Taro helps Okarun realize that he’s in love with Momo. I really did like the parallels of how Taro fell for Hana and related it to him. The day Momo stepped in to help Okarun from being bullied was when his gray world became full of color. It feels poetic in a way.

Regarding the animation, I can see why Science Saru was THE studio for Dandadan. The reason is because I don’t think other animation studios can animate Jiji’s movements as fluidly as they can. Jiji is a very bombastic character—he moves around A LOT and is also expressive. You need a studio capable of handling all that movement without missing a beat and is able to handle his expressions too without stock footages. I also loved the moment where they were running after Taro. It was really nice to look at.

Did I mention Dandadan has good voice actors? Because it does! Jiji is voiced by Kaito Ishikawa and he does an AMAZING job with him. Like, I know Ishikawa has a history of voicing comedic characters, but Jiji is practically an amalgamation of all of his comedic voice acting and taking it up a step further because of that experience. Not only that, this is the second time I’ve watched an anime where Kaito Ishikawa and Natsuki Hanae have interactions! The first was where both played the leads of my favorite anime of all-time, The Case Study of Vanitas and the second is Demon Slayer’s third season where Ishikawa voiced one of Hantengu’s clones (the green one) that attacked Tanjiro. In addition, in English, Jiji is voiced by Aleks Le! He’s clearly a rising star in the voice acting world as he’s been getting good roles in both games and in anime! If you’re not familiar with him, he’s the ENG VA of Sung Jinwoo from Solo Leveling! Though, his first major role was the comedic Zenitsu from Demon Slayer, so it does feel as if he’s going back to his roots of being comic relief. I quite like Aleks a lot, so I am a bit biased in my opinion of his acting. Also, Taro is voiced by Tomokazu Sugita and Hana is voiced by Fumi Hirano. They’re both veterans and the casting still amazes me.

Other than that, there are some small details in this episode I liked like Seiko giving Jiji more food every time he compliments her, Muko standing up for Okamomo and Okarun organizing his shoes and placing them in the corner before chasing after Momo and Jiji. These sort of small details really give life to the story and to the characters!

But yeah, that’s it for this review. The Dandadan fandom has been a war zone ever since the beginning of December due to all this art and racial drama that does feel a little too overblown. I won’t get into much about it as YouTubers talk about it more concisely than I can ever possibly do. Since then, it has been a mess, but I did my best to not get too involved in the drama and just ignore it as much as I could. Speaking of which, this is the penultimate episode! It’s crazy how Dandadan is finished next week! It feels like a waste because I want more! I hope that they announce a second season! What are your thoughts on this episode?

[daughter-lilith]

❅In Every Life❅

Halsin x Fem!Reader | Modern AU, Parallel Universes Part 3 | Read Part 2 here

Summary: Another day on modern Earth as you finally wind down for the late night in your quiet home. All is as it should be. All is normal as you prepare for bed. That is, until a tall, hulking man with pointed ears shows up at your doorstep claiming to be your lost love from another time and realm. But he’s a stranger. A stranger who forever changes everything you thought you knew about your life.

Explicit 18+ (In future Parts)

CW (For whole story): Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Tension, Oral, P in V, Shifting, Pain, Love, Halsin is Emotional!

Word Count: 4.2k

*Reminder, this is part 3. ⋆ a few tags for some (if you don't mind!) thank you to all enjoying so far! let me know if anyone would liked to be tagged for the next part. @stanfordscrush | @lanafofana | @catch-all | @thoughts-of-bear | @agathaharknessfan96 | @niki-is-a-reblog | @avabjorna36 | (some tags don't work but the thought is there haha)

Halsin sighed unevenly, leaning into your touch. When you squeezed your arms around him, he took it as an invitation to hold you tighter against him, sheltering you in his warmth. You fit perfectly in his arms, tucked beneath his chin, resting yourself against his chest, just like he remembered.

He rested his chin softly near your head and inhaled quietly, deeply. Taking in the scent of your hair, he was instantly met with a waft of memories as the light, citrusy scent with a hint of chamomile flowed into his nose. How it was possible that even your hair smelled familiar, he didn't care, all that mattered was you were in his arms again. You were safe.

He knew you must’ve felt the pounding in his heart, with your cheek pressed so sweetly against him. But he didn’t mind, he simply surrendered to the embrace, loving how your shoulders started to relax in his hold. His mind drifted to all the times he held you just outside of camp under the stars, or passed the time in the lively Elfsong Tavern while you and your friends gathered around the center, laughing and drinking all night.

You had helped him release a heavy burden after breaking the shadow curse, freeing him of his obsession to right what he felt were his wrongs. You released him from yet another cage, one of emotional and mental strain. With that newfound freedom, Halsin could finally allow his heart to seek yours willingly, without reservations.

Halsin couldn’t quell the smile on his face, visualizing the memory of your soft fingers tracing lazy patterns across his bare chest as you lay together. The morning sun would be peeking through the sheer curtains, casting a glittering shimmer across your beautiful, naked skin.

He’d lay there, one arm wrapped securely around you, and glance down to press a tender kiss on your forehead. You’d murmur sweet things beneath him before glancing up to grace him with your eyes, then leaning upwards to capture his lips. His heart would swell with the reality of you still being by his side, each and every day, grateful that it wasn’t all just a dream.

“It’s always going to be you, Halsin,” you whispered to him one night when his insecurities were starting to get the better of him.

Halsin had been a roaming man for as long as he could remember, when life made it painfully clear to him that good things were temporary, especially where love was involved. He let his heart run wild, free to connect with whoever managed to capture it, knowing one day they’d release it and move on.

Most of them just wanted the experience really; to say they once bedded an elf as large as a half-orc, who could also transform into a bear. And who was Halsin to not give the people what they wanted? They were just exploring nature’s bounties, something that he was very much a part of. And after the allure had waned, some slower than others, they always moved on.

But you never moved on. He didn’t want you to move on. Having you in his life opened a new way of love he had never felt before, had never received before. In all of his 350 years, he had finally understood why some people have no eyes for anyone else, seek no one else.

He discovered that nature was many things; ever roaming bees carrying pollen on the wind, traveling from flower to flower and sometimes back again. But nature could also be focused, still, where trees rooted themselves deep within the layers of the earth, rising tall and staying in place for centuries with the company of their closest loved ones all around them. The bear may not mate for life, but Halsin was not just a bear, and he wanted more.

You were all Halsin wanted, but still, he did not wish for you to feel trapped. Just because his desires had altered, didn’t mean you had to conform to them. He was more than prepared to continue sharing in your heart, anything to still have you in his life. But then you chose to stay with him after defeating the Absolute, and you continued to choose him day after day. You often reminded him of his worth when he couldn’t understand what he did differently to deserve you. His love for you only swelled to unbelievable heights, watered by the consistency of various acts of affection that you two showered each other with. Your love always overcame any hiccups and minor conflicts, rising above them and further strengthening your bond.

And standing there now, engulfing you in his large arms while recalling the past, it was enough to forget all that happened. It was easy to get lost in you again, to believe that he was still back on Toril and in Faerûn. His heart still desperately longed for you, his soul burning to reconnect with yours, sensing you were still there within. He longed to revive the fires between you, and to spend hours enveloped in your embrace, to make up for lost time.

“And my heart will be yours. Always,” Halsin would murmur to you before sealing his promise with a deepening kiss. Your warm breath would mingle with his as his lips would explore yours, slowly, intently. He’d chuckle as your tongue began tracing along his bottom lip, seeking entry which he always obliged, tasting you eagerly.

The image alone caused a sudden flush deep in his abdomen as hot blood flowed toward his hardening bulge. He stifled a groan, bringing himself back to the present as he remembered the brutal reality of this embrace. It was another goodbye; one he didn’t get the chance to fully have before your body so quickly faded from his arms, disappearing somewhere into the timeless space of the Astral Plane, becoming a permanent part of it… or so he thought.

Oh, how he ached to feel more of you, to let the softness of your robe slip from your shoulders, dropping to the floor. To have your skin against his… But he couldn’t, for you were already too kind to give him this much already.

Halsin shifted his hips, suddenly nervous that you were starting to feel him. Creating some space between your lower bodies, he hoped that he was discreet enough, not wanting to make you uncomfortable. But despite the building heat filling his abdomen, and the involuntary reaction to your touch, he wasn’t ready to let go of you yet. So, he held you a little longer, inhaling your scent and silently reveling in how perfectly you molded into him.

After some time, he couldn’t be sure how long, you were pulling away from one another, both of your movements slow and reluctant. His chest felt colder without you, already missing the warmth of your cheek, wishing these clothes weren’t an unwelcome barrier.

His large hands held onto your much smaller forearms, your fingers returning the connection, both reluctant to separate. Halsin watched your face rise to look at him, your gaze was so innocent and yet full of so many emotions. It pained him that he had frightened you, or the situation itself rather.

He continued to stare at you, intense, imprinting your image in his mind, not that he could ever forget it. You looked exactly the same, save for your more human ears and how you wore your hair, but it was the same face he fell for over thirty years ago. Halsin looked down at your lips as they parted, anticipating your angelic voice to grace his ears.

“Will you be okay?” you asked tenderly, full of concern.

His heart skipped at your worry for him, even now, when you had no memory of who he was. Even now, when you were wrestling with a torrent of emotions, your life completely changing in one night.

Halsin tried to smile convincingly as he reassured you that he would be fine, so long as you were. His thumb rubbed idly against your arm. “Finding you at all is more than I could’ve ever dreamed of. And I will spend the rest of time being thankful, until my flesh finally yields to nature.”

He watched your chest hitch a bit, a gasp you likely tried to conceal from him. He stood with bated breath while your eyes roamed over his face, carefully taking in his features. He noticed you looking over his scars, then down to his lips, lingering there. Halsin felt himself twitch, the blood throbbing against his pants never waning. He almost leaned forward, severing the distance to capture your lips in a heated kiss. But with a quiet breath, he swallowed the temptation, uneasily rubbing his lips together.

Halsin was a master of restraint, especially if he was unsure his advances would be reciprocated. That was until he finally allowed himself to feel, all those years ago, after lifting the shadow curse. From then on, he lost himself in you often with abandon, only pulling back when he felt the bear stirring…sometimes at least.

But your eyes left his lips, shifting over to his druidic tattoo. He wanted to tell you about it again, like he once did as the two of you sat near the edge of a river, sharing stories before you ended the night with passionate lovemaking. But he didn’t want to further overwhelm you with more stories of a life you didn’t remember, a life that was too much for your current mind to grasp.

Halsin watched you lean upwards, still eyeing that side of his cheek. His heart skipped as you drew closer, and he bent down, assisting you as he tilted his head a bit. He closed his eyes, bracing himself for the feel of your lips again. Though it would not be upon his own, he would not be greedy, thankful for anything you were willing to give him. The softness of your breath caressed his skin, sending a hot flash down his neck. Your lips, tender and a little cool, pressed ever-so-gently against his cheek. His skin tingled, filling with blood at the sensation of your soft lips.

But the euphoric feeling was cut short as Halsin felt you jolt backwards, nearly falling, but he was quick to catch you. Panic surged through him as he captured you back in his arms, carrying your numb weight. He eyed you frantically, startled by the shocked, faraway look in your eyes.

Your legs started to wobble, even as Halsin held you, so he guided you to the floor as gently as he could. Resting on his knees, he held one arm around your back, with the other hand coming to lift your chin.

“My heart?” Halsin breathed hastily, panicked, searching your eyes for any sign that you were there. But your gaze looked past him, a half-shocked, half-focused expression in your eyes. “What is it? Come back to me.”

He reached within himself, conjuring the magic that coursed throughout his essence. Pushing through his racing heart, he desperately brought his magic forth as golden light rose from his hand. He waved it over your face, closing his eyes, hoping to sense what suddenly ailed you. But a strange, mental force blocked him, thrusting him back. His magical light waned but Halsin did not relent. He muttered a spell, and bright, blue light now took the space of the golden one, and he pressed it to your cheek, hoping it would bring your consciousness forth.

But the gentle light simply caressed your cheek and flowed into your face, having no influence on your current affliction. His hands were trembling now, unsure what was happening to you but not giving up his efforts. The hammering in his heart was loud in his ears, fear rushing through him as you remained unresponsive despite your eyes still being open, the distant look ever-present.

Seconds passed rapidly, Halsin muttering spell after spell to heal or to remove a curse, remembering the levels to it that Shadowheart once taught him. But this did nothing to aid you.

A sudden thought beamed in his mind; to pick you up and open another portal to take you back to Faerûn. There, just maybe he could find the help you needed. Halsin knew nothing of this world, of its inhabitants, he wouldn’t know who to take you to. But if he went back home, there was already someone not far on the other side he could summon to help him, to help you.

But fear halted him. How would you react to this once you awoke? To find yourself in a world far from home without your consent? You were already afraid and overwhelmed, to wake up in a foreign place seemed like too much. He shuddered at the thought, hating the idea of you being angry with him. Yet, if it helped you, he would risk it.

But another thought challenged this… could he even open another portal so soon? He huffed, frustration snatching him entirely, mingling with the fear that gripped his throat as he held you.

Halsin leaned forward, resting his forehead against yours, and breathed deeply. “My heart…please.”

Your body gave another jolt.

You felt strong arms holding you, suspecting them to be Halsin’s, but you couldn’t see him anymore. The familiarity of your kitchen was gone, replaced by a flash of white light that nearly blinded you. An intense force erupted in your head, and you felt yourself being thrust forward, like being pulled into a vacuum. But as you looked around, you could only see a swirl of lights rushing past your face.

You frantically waved your arms around, desperately trying to find something to grasp onto, hoping to slow your body down but to no avail. You were soaring through this strange wormhole of colorful lights. The speed was faster than you could comprehend, and when you managed to look at your arms, an ethereal misty light floated over your skin, moving haphazardly. It had the same shape as your arms, your legs, and your torso, slipping partially out of your body before being snapped back inside. Fear gripped you like a vice as you realized what you were seeing was you, or your soul at least.

This is a dream. It’s just a dream. But you couldn’t remember falling asleep. Weren’t you just standing in your kitchen? You were talking to someone. A visitor. A man. An…elf? A handsome face flickered in your mind. Halsin! Where was he? What was happening? Panic started to have its way within you, but you willed yourself to stay strong, mentally holding onto your essence.

Whatever was happening, it was not going to take your soul, you wouldn’t allow it. But no matter how quickly you moved through this strange place, faster than sound, faster than light perhaps, your spirit remained with you, flickering in and out of view but otherwise attached. Your mind rattled as a million random visions assaulted you all at once.

Lights passed, unseen faces flashing by. A new feeling emerged, a sense of awareness. No, these were not random visions, but memories…your memories. They zipped by, and you desperately tried to focus. Wherever you were, whatever was happening had to be in your mind, so you should be able to control it, right?

The bizarre, portal-like wormhole shifted, dropping you into another gravity-less tunnel. It was brighter there. Blue and purple lights swirled around you, and the images reemerged, flying along each side of you like old film strips. You willed yourself to focus, to grasp onto them, they were yours after all and you had every right to access them.

A warmth spread across your chest and your forehead started tingling. Through the chaos, the visuals started to slow, briefly, flickering in and out as if they were also trying to find you, to give you a clearer view. Time began to slow, allowing you a chance to analyze each memory, to pause time before it rushed past you again. Hundreds— thousands of visuals passed by, but your mind was faster, quickly deciphering what memories you could before they zapped away again.

You saw a city, buzzing with people, but it wasn’t like the modern one you knew with hordes of foot traffic and annoyed drivers. This one felt older, brimming with magic, where unique races of all kinds roamed the streets together. Baldur’s Gate. You remembered it! You lived there once. Then, it flashed away.

⋆

A quiet beach, warm white sands beneath your feet. You stepped towards the water, flinching at the sudden coolness. You were just outside of Baldur’s Gate, visiting your cousin who was already waist-deep in the water. They beckoned you to hurry up. The waves were calm today, the perfect time to swim along the shallows.

A massive shadow suddenly blocked out the sun. You looked up, some sort of ship with… tentacles? The Nautiloid. Your heart lurched. It abducted you that day.

⋆

Another flash. Gone was the sun and sandy beaches, replaced by darkness and worn stone beneath your boots.

“Ugh, I’m going to smell like goblin guts for weeks.” You knew that voice, it came from your left. White hair entered the side of your vision. Astarion. “This isn’t good for my hair, you know,” you heard him say, groaning in defeat.

Behind you, Lae’zel and Gale followed as you led them through a winding side section of the dungeon-like camp.

Gale clasped his hands, following closely. “Right then! Let’s just find our ‘Master Druid’ and hopefully sort out this whole worm-in-our-heads mess.”

⋆

A bear behind bars. It was angry. Massive. No, not just a bear, an elf. The one you and your companions were searching for. Your heart hitched; you knew that druid. He was your druid. His eyes found yours, body covered in blood and viscera. You reached for him, nearly desperate. The vision faltered.

⋆

Laughter at a campfire. You were dancing around it, arms linked with Karlach and Wyll as you enthusiastically skipped along the ground while Astarion’s skillful fingers thrummed away at his lute. You caught a glance of Shadowheart trying to convince a very stern Lae’zel to put her sword down and have a drink. And across from them was Gale, who looked flushed after one too many cups of wine. He had conjured a magical image of Mystra, sighing as he gazed sadly at her.

You remembered this night. They were your companions, your friends. Across the fire, you glanced at him, Halsin. He was smiling, pure glee in his warm eyes as he watched you all dance the night away.

⋆

A small boy stood before you, tiny, horn-like branches protruding out of his head. “Ketheric Thorm must die,” the young boy said. But not just a boy- something older, something a part of the land around you. Shadows. A curse.

A grieving father, a general, invulnerable no longer. He dropped his weapon and freely fell backward into the eerie, green pool. You sprang forth, halted by Halsin’s grip. The ground trembled. A skeletal god emerged.

⋆

It had been days since you first met Halsin in the forest, who stood waiting for you by a large tree. He was so nervous that night. The tall, large Archdruid of many lovers, whose stomach was in knots at the thought of confessing himself to you.

Your relationship reached new, beautiful heights that night. Now, you were running through a similar forest, your throat echoing with laughter and excitement, the trees whipping past your heated face. Halsin was sprinting behind you, a hunter. The chase was thrilling. You couldn’t wait until he finally pounced on you, trapping you under his weight. But you’d make him work a little harder first.

⋆

“You’re one of them? All this time?” shock gripped your entire being as you stared up at the illithid. Your guardian, or who they had claimed to be anyway. Betrayal. Anger. Pondering… A decision was made to give it a chance since it had been helpful thus far. But one chance only.

“Thank you for trusting me,” the emperor said, its voice powerful and reverberating through you.

“Tsk’va!” Lae’zel spat. “My people broke free from ghaik enslavement, and now I would ally myself with one? If it so much as thinks of betraying us, I’ll cut off its tentacles myself!

⋆

Gale brushed down his robe, then reached to pick up his quarterstaff. “Well, the so-called ‘Slayer’ is no more.”

You bent down, digging through Orin’s pile of gore for the glowing stone. You grabbed it and then tentatively scanned the massive chamber, watching as the other followers of Bhaal simply looked down at you, disinterested.

Behind you, the druid’s deep voice reached your ears. “You would think they’d be more… dismayed about the fall of one of their own,” he said, hovering over you as if to act as a shield.

Gale chuckled. “On the contrary, I think they rather enjoyed the show. But best we do not linger.”

⋆

Sorrow filled your chest, aching to console your angered, distraught friend-turned-sister. But you stood still, not wanting to pressure her. She needed to get this out, to verbally rage with abandon to anyone who would simply listen.

“He’s dead, and he’s no fucking sorrier now than he was before.” Karlach gritted her teeth, her orange flames brightening, dancing along her skin. “I’m going to be as dead as Gortash any day now. Any moment. And what then?”

You started to reach for her, but the image blurred, rocketing away again.

⋆

Falling through the sky, winds rushed past your face, gravity doing nothing to save you. Large arms enveloped you from behind, shielding your back just as you both hit the water. Your arms and legs kicked and flailed in the water, trying to steady yourself in the chaos.

But you were not alone. You calmed as you recognized you were still being held, protected, already breaching the surface with almost no effort on your part. Exhausted, Halsin guided you toward land, the two of you scrambling to get back onto the docks. Coughs and sputtering filled the air around you, and a giant moan blared across the water. A fallen netherbrain, defeated. A bright, electric flash blinded you as the brain finally succumbed.

⋆

Heavy breaths, needy touches, and racing hearts gave the room life. Halsin’s lips tasted your chest, your neck, your jaw, then back to your lips again. You pulled away a few inches, staring at him, the two of you still bloodied and bruised, his lips swollen from your kiss. You had won, no more than an hour ago.

The city was battered, with several miles of destruction outside the window, it would take time to heal, to rebuild. But that could wait. Celebrations were already taking place. The evil was defeated, and you urgently needed to feel Halsin’s touch again as soon as possible.

⋆

White lights passed by, like streaks of lightning. Another vision. You honed in before it could rush away. A bedroom, golden light filtering in through sheer curtains. Peace washed over you as your bare legs draped lazily over thick thighs.

Your heart swelled, glancing up at your sleepy-eyed druid. “Good morning, my heart,” he whispered before leaning down to kiss your forehead.

Your stomach fluttered; heart happy. Twenty years of waking up in Halsin’s arms never dulled, no matter where the two of you were.

You broke the kiss to look at him, noting the lace of worry in his eyes. He hardly slept. You frowned, reaching to place a hand against his cheek. You already sensed what may be troubling him for it had been on your mind as well. “Did you rest at all, my love?”

Halsin breathed heavily, his large chest moving beneath you. “It was…difficult to.” You felt the pace of his strong heart begin to rise, ever so slightly. “We rejoin our friends and allies today, to take the fight to Vlaakith. I… I suppose a part of me worries.”

You smiled softly at him, full of understanding. It had been years since you faced such a foe. You had years of peace and bliss together since the fall of The Absolute. Not even your trip to Avernus to find someone to fix Karlach’s heart resulted in any remarkable enemies, completely avoiding Zariel’s detection. You stroked your thumb along the scars on his beautiful face, reaching back up to brush your lips against his.

You wanted to linger in this memory of calmness, to grasp onto it longer. But your mind’s hold was loosening, and just like that, it flashed away from you.

⋆

A sudden lurch forward, your body was thrust through a white light, eyes closing at the intense brightness. You fell roughly on your knees against a hard surface, hissing at the contact. Upon opening your eyes again, you half-expected to be back on your kitchen floor, back on Earth. But as your vision cleared, instead of the ceramic tile flooring beneath you, there was dark rock and dirt. A tingling sensation ran down your arms. You lifted your hands, palms up, watching as blue sparks of lightning flickered between your fingers, eager to shoot out at anything you commanded it to. But things felt different this time. You weren’t simply watching a memory anymore; you were living it.

Part 4 here!

Note: I must admit, I'm very eager to post the next part. I hope I can edit and have it up within the next two days. Thank you again to everyone reading!