#parallels that no one cares about but me haha

[group-dynamic]

*SCREECHING*

I was watching this lovely, bittersweet edit highlighting the short, tragic friendship between Celebrimbor and Elrond as they're portrayed in the Rings of Power, and it got me reflecting (as many of us have) on the prophesy, "My father foresaw that one day Celebrimbor's life would be in my hands" and how it's too bad there wasn't anything that felt like a weighty resolution to that thread. Like, to have a prophesy directly from the foresight of Eärendil that's first mentioned in season one and invented for the show feels so significant to be used merely as a device to compound Elrond's failure, you know? The prophesy works well as foreshadowing and elevates the tragic impact of Elrond's role as commander and his inability to defend Eregion, but that feels so distant to the idiom "life in his hands." Especially since Elrond isn't even in sight of Celebrimbor's death, so how could his life really be so directly in his hands--

IT'S THE RING.

THE RINGS.

Elrond's only direct acts related to "saving" Celebrimbor on screen is trying to save his records and his city, aka the lore and legacy around him. And that fails. The records are burned, the city is reduced to rubble, the smith's greatest achievements are corrupted and certainly going to be twisted further to some evil purpose in Sauron's hands.

And Elrond's been so certain that those rings are corrupted, including the elven rings (which for a while are the only rings the Lindon elves know of in the show). But then suddenly those elven rings are all that's left of Celebrimbor's legacy and in the first and last episode of the season they're LITERALLY in Elrond's hands. When he jumps from the cliff trying to keep them from his friends, and when he finally picks one up and uses it for good--for its intended, healing purpose. I mean, Elrond future lore master has Celebrimbro's life story in his hands. He has Celebrimbor's life's work in his hands, and all the parts of himself and his craft he poured into those rings.

And one day Elrond will literally be one of the bearers and wielders of Celebrimbor's life work and legacy. Yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaahhh==

"His life in his hands" indeed.

[heartslobbf]

hater alert! far too many people say that juri’s character arc ‘isn’t about her being sad about being gay, it’s about being sad about unrequited love that happens to be gay’ and. well. that is not true and by saying that you are completely flattening the brilliance of juri’s character arc which literally culminates in her being able to accept her own lesbianism despite her unrequited love, despite all her shame and self-loathing, despite this pursuit by Some Fucking Guy to try and ‘save’ her from these feelings. like if you think juri’s entire character is just ‘sad about shiori’ how do you appreciate even a modicum of the emotion packed into that final juri duel. it is both about shiori and, even broader, her lesbian identity and what that means to her intrinsically as a person, removed from romantic relationships and just purely as like. you know. Who She Is. the idea that even when juri’s locket is cut from her neck she is still a lesbian that’s still who she is and she cant change that and, crucially, she doesn’t want to even as she is agonised by these feelings. that’s why she forfeits the duel!!!! she’s clocking out she’s quitting she’s saying no!!!!!! this is me and ive got to be ok with that this is me and i can accept that this girl might not love me and i can keep living despite that. like. god im so normal arisugawa juri im so sorry that no one understands you and your intrinsically unapologetically lesbian storyline like i do

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

1x13 | 2x16 

[imminent-danger-came]

Between

2x08 S: "As long as I'm doing something to help out a friend, I don't mind what it is! I just want to be there for 'em when they need me. Because at the end of the day, helping my friends is more important than anything in the world!"

3x03 Mei: "So wait, how did you get your gold vision back again?" MK: "I don't know! The same way I got them in the first place I guess. Every time I learned a new ability, it was because there was something I NEEDED to do, when there was no other way. Against the gold fish guy I NEEDED to do something to save my friends!" P: "Yeah, friends that YOU put in danger on purpose!"

3x10 MK: "NO! Mei is my best friend, I’d never abandon her when she needs me. We’re heroes! It’s what we do!",

3x14 MK: "A perfect world is what you make it. So as long as I have my friends by my side...this world! Is! Perfect!”

4x01 MK: "Honestly? I’m kinda liking the world as it is, right now. So...if it could just stay like this, forever? That would be awesome." SWK: "Yeah well...forever’s a long time bud...trust me."

4x02 AL: "It’s too late to save them! We can’t risk unleashing the curse into the world." MK: “You don’t know! We’d risk it for sure! I won’t abandon them when they need us."

4x07 IMK: "You can see it, can't you? This is your fate. Your friends will turn on you, seeing you for the monster you will become. They will destroy you, harbinger of chaos."

4x11 MK: "We have to try, he'd do the same—for any of us." and

4x14 YT: "I know full well what would happen should Azure fail. But- but he is my brother. I owe him my life." S: "We get it! I'd do anything to help my friends. But at the cost of the world?" P: "I'm sorry pal, but NOTHING worth that price!"

I'm like, really worried scoob.

[sysig]

DAAAAAAAAAAAAX <3 <3 (Patreon)

[linagram]

[𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚊𝚜𝚊𝚔𝚒 𝚊𝚒𝚖𝚒'𝚜 𝚝𝟷 𝚟𝚘𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚍𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚊] 𝚋𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚍𝚒𝚎 𝚝𝚘𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛

writing her vd was kinda hard tbh.. i'm still trying to figure out what i want her character to be like, at first she was supposed to be, like, a cute and cheerful girl who is also kinda creepy, but here she's more.. quiet, i guess? i like her vd a lot though! i actually got chills while writing the last sentence and one thing she says to eiji

also, after this vd i will post akio and aimi's interrogation! so again, you can send them questions if you want!

(divider link)

Aimi: ♪~

(door opens)

Miki: S-sorry for being late!.. We, um.. had some problems to deal with..

Aimi: Ah, it's okay, don't worry about it! I haven't even noticed that you're late actually.

Aimi: May I ask what happened though?

Miki: Um, I'm not sure that I'm allowed-

Eiji: Akio passed out right after we extracted his song.

Miki: Eiji-san, you're gonna scare her!

Aimi: Oh, really? Is he okay?

Miki: Y-yeah, it just turned out that he was, um.. m-more "fragile" than we thought.

Eiji: He's just weak, that's all.

Eiji: I don't think it happened because of the machine, he most likely just had some health problems before he even came here.

Eiji: Or he just knew that we will vote him guilty and got too scared, haha.

Aimi: I see..

Miki: But don't worry, I'm sure you're gonna be fine after we extract your song!

Miki: At least I hope so..

Eiji: Anyway, enough about that guy.

Eiji: So, Prisoner 002, Hanasaki Aimi. 16 years old, first year of high school, just like Prisoner 001.

Eiji: By the way, what do you think about him? Prisoner 009 is also still in high school, if I'm not wrong.

Aimi: Hm.. Akio-kun is a good guy! I can tell that he's.. well, not the most friendly person, but I'm sure that he just needs some time to get used to this place and other prisoners!

Aimi: And Kuroki-san is so nice to me! He treats me well and he always listens to me no matter what I say..

Aimi: Overall, I like this place a lot! I'm having so much fun with everyone!

Miki: You're surprisingly relaxed for a situation like this..

Aimi: Well, this is just some kind of game, isn't it? Oh, maybe this is a theme park or something like that? I've never been in a prison-themed park though..

Eiji: *sighs* When will you all accept that this is a real thing and you can actually die if we vote you guilty?

Miki: D-DIE?? Eiji-san, they won't actually get executed, right? RIGHT??

Aimi: Die, huh..

Aimi: Well, it's not like I mind.

Miki: .. What?

Aimi: If it means that I won't be executed alone and other prisoners will be with me too..

Aimi: I would be happy to die with my best friends by my side.

Eiji: ...

Miki: ...

Aimi: Ah, sorry for scaring you like this! Please, ask me anything you want. I will answer as honestly as I can.

Eiji: .. Right. So, about your crime.

Eiji: I'm looking at you right now and I'm trying to figure out what you did.

Eiji: .. You sure have a lot of injuries.

Aimi: Haha, yes, I do.

Aimi: I'm just a little bit clumsy, that's all.

Eiji: We just started and you're already lying.

Aimi: Huh?

Eiji: You got these injuries because of someone else and not because of your own clumsiness, didn't you?

Aimi: ...

Aimi: Haha.. Speaking from experience, Guard-san?

Eiji: !

Eiji: You-

Aimi: Sorry, sorry. It's just that you also look like you had to go through a lot.

Eiji: How.. HOW DARE YOU?!

Miki: Eiji-san, stop! She's already hurt, don't make it worse for her!

Eiji: .. Fine.

Eiji: (to Aimi) Give me your hairclip. The candy-shaped one.

Aimi: W-why do you need it?

Eiji: If I can't punish you physically, I'll just do it this way.

Eiji: And something is telling me this hairclip is important to you.

Aimi: .. W-well, if Guard-san says so..

Aimi: I would be okay with getting beaten though.

Miki: Eiji-san, please, leave her alone!

Eiji: SHE CAN'T JUST GO "OH, I WONDER WHY YOU HAVE TO WEAR ALL THESE BANDAGES"!

Miki: .. P-please, just give him the hairclip, Aimi-chan. You don't deserve to get hurt even more.

Aimi: !..

Aimi: "Aimi-chan"..

Aimi: I've never been called that before..

Aimi: Okay! Here, have my hairclip, Guard-san!

Eiji: ...

Eiji: You gave it to the wrong guard.

Miki: Why did you-

Aimi: Because you wouldn't look good with it, Guard 001-san!

Eiji: You did it just because she was nicer to you, didn't you?

Aimi: So, about my crime.

Eiji: Hey, don't ignore me!

Aimi: I.. can't tell you much about it. Sorry.

Miki: Why? Are you scared?

Aimi: Not really. I'm not scared at all actually.

Aimi: It's just that I'm not even sure if you can call it a crime.

Eiji: You're in Milgram and that means it is definitely a crime.

Eiji: And not just any crime, but murder.

Aimi: Murder..

Aimi: You're right. I did commit murder.

Eiji: I wonder who you killed though.

Eiji: .. Did you kill someone to get revenge on them?

Aimi: .. Haha, who knows.

Eiji: Was it one of your classmates?

Aimi: NO!

Miki: Aimi-chan??

Eiji: Finally, I was worried this interrogation will be boring.

Aimi: I was friends with all of my classmates! They loved me! We always had so much fun together!

Aimi: I.. I loved them.. I really did.. And they loved me..

Aimi: It.. It wasn't one of my classmates..

Eiji: .. Weird.

Aimi: What's weird?

Eiji: You see, sure, I can just say you killed someone because you were bullied and you wanted to get revenge on that person.

Eiji: Reminds me of that last prisoner.. But I doubt that he really was bullied, he was just mad that people loved someone more than him.

Eiji: But you just.. don't seem like that type of person.

Aimi: What do you mean by that?

Eiji: I can imagine you snapping and finally showing your bullies how angry you are at them, but something just doesn't add up.

Eiji: Did you notice it too, Guard 002?

Miki: No, I didn't.

Eiji: ...

Eiji: *sighs* Fine.

Eiji: In short, you're too weak to actually kill someone yourself.

Eiji: I can't think of anyone who could be your victim except your bullies, but again, you say that your classmates loved you.

Eiji: So that means you either killed someone from a different class or a different school..

Eiji: .. or someone helped you realize how bad your situation really is.

Eiji: Hey, Aimi..

Eiji: Did you also have an accomplice, just like Prisoner 001?

(bell rings, machinery sounds)

Eiji: I'm waiting for your answer.

Aimi: ...

Eiji: Aimi!

Miki: Eiji-san, she needs a minute-

Eiji: Prisoner 002, Aimi, sing your sins!

Aimi: I was told that it would be nice if they all just died.

═════════•°• ⚠ •°•═════════

[zeropro]

The way you drew Bee and Starscream together was just so ahahjshshfhgj

I would love to hear your thoughts on the Starbee ship or just your personal ideas on how you think the two would interact with each other! :D

It’s still amazing to me that folks would be interested in my opinions haha.

I actually don’t think I ship starscream romantically with anyone, but I have a fondness for starbee cuz bumblebee (specifically the one from earthspark who was a millennial and also a dad and so out of his depth but just wanted to do a good job aah) was my first transformers blorbo and so seeing my blorbos stand next to each other sparks joy.

the fun thing about bee and starscream is bumblebee embodies the autobot ideal and is basically optimus’ sidekick, while starscream embodies the decepticon ideal and is megatron’s sidekick, so even in continuities where they don’t have any sort of interactment theres still this cosmic parallel between them

I think as much as I like seeing starscream suffer, I think I especially like when other characters witness that suffering, and bee is such a good kid it’s easy to imagine someone like him could feel sympathetic to anyone, even someone as awful as starscream

i think thats why i like the idea of idw 2005’s starbee so much. I havent actually gotten to the part of the comic where bumblebee’s ghost haunts starscream yet, but idw’s bumblebee has so much baggage, almost as much as starscream! he’s so tired, he’s held leadership and felt like he’s failed and struggles with other people not seeing him the way he wants them to, just like starscream. and starscream, the bot with the most to hide, being watched 24/7 by someone he doesnt even think is real. like the potential is so juicy with them! I want them to be friends, I want them to be soft with each other, and I want to watch them struggle to get there. I don’t need to see them kiss or cuddle, I’m not really into that stuff, but I want starscream to struggle and for bee to see that and for someone to care.

thanks for the ask!

[konpeitonom]

general dating headcanons for captain grant curly.

sfw— lowercase intended ^_^

g/n reader - no pronouns mentioned

requests are open, i do all the characters ^.^

notes; i love this guy. all of these are pre-crash on earth. i would love to write for post-crash/found curly someday perhaps. these are kind of everywhere. not proofread oopsies. wrote them sleep deprived zzz .. going to bed now!

— this man is extremely overbearing when it comes to his love. i mean there’s a reason everyone compares him to a golden retriever.

— in my small brain he is 6’2 and very beefy. he works out! it’s canon! gym bro and will annoy you about your protein intake.. but it’s because he cares!

— he is a morning person. it’s annoying unless you are one too. he will get up at 5 on the dot! he is not a coffee drinker in my opinion, or at least a morning one. he heard cold water is best in the mornings as a teen and stuck with it since.

— by the time you’re awake he’s already had breakfast (prepared you some as well, of course), ran a couple miles, and did all his chores.

— this man is the definition of acts of service. he is extremely considerate. If you're particular about food, how it’s cooked- how it’s served, he will make the effort to do so correctly.

— if you ever bring it up though he’ll just say ‘it’s the bare minimum for a man’ haha

— sort of likes it when you’re sick. not in a weird way, he just thinks it’s cute how you act. and he likes to take care of you. he is a very traditional man in that sense.

— i think he’s very private with his love! like everyone would know you’re together, no doubt about it. maybe subtle hand or cheek kisses in public but not much more than that. i think he thinks love is a very intimate, private thing.

— he’s not materialistic in any sense, quite the opposite. he’d invest and save in high quality things, get you the exact ring you’d want or do research in your hobbies to make sure you’d like what he’d purchase.

— i also like to think he sort of puts up a front when with others, but not with you. ideally, he’d want someone he can be vulnerable with from time to time and not feel as if he has to walk on eggshells constantly.

— he’d like pinching/poking at your tummy. he seems like a tummy guy. like he’d grab at it and squish it. i think he’d find thighs cute too.

— i think he’s definitely a cute-over-sexy kind of guy!! i stand by this!! no one can convince me otherwise.

— he likes playful banter! playful teasing! someone quick-witted. it eases up any potential tension.

— he would also just hold your hands and rub your fingers softly, kissing your knuckles. again, he’s very soft with his love. he’d be upset to hurt you in any way, especially physically. he knows he can be a bit too much when it comes to affection. and he never wants to make you uncomfortable!!

— back to his whole ‘private intimacy’ thing. he feels closest to you when you’re ‘parallel playing’.. doing mundane things, your own hobbies, but being beside each other- he feels so lucky to be able to do that. it feels domestic.

— we’ve already seen it in-game, but he does not like to argue whatsoever. sometimes it does him good, apologizes quickly, but in more serious moments it could definitely come off as him brushing off your feelings.

— he doesn’t intend to, he just wants to avoid arguing at all costs.

— more of a “let’s just talk things through” kind of guy. haha. as his partner you’ll have to understand how to talk to him, i assume.

— he is a good man. a great man even… husband material..

[vashtijoy]

Something I've noticed for a while is that Akechi doesn't appear to say that he was in foster care in the Japanese script.

Akechi おかげで僕は、色んな所を転々とさせられて、まあ、今じゃ気ままな一人暮らしだけどね。 okage de boku wa, ironna tokoro o tenten to saserarete, maa, ima ja kimamana hitori kurashi da kedo ne Thanks to him, I was passed from foster home to foster home. But, I do quite well by myself these days. After that, nobody would keep me for too long, so I got moved about a lot. But now I'm alone and free to live as I choose.

There are a few interesting points here:

おかげで okage de, "thanks to"

Akechi does not specify what or who he's crediting here; the translator has glossed in "thanks to him". IMO it's more likely to be "because of the death of my mother"—the thing he was just speaking of. Shido is responsible, but (at least according to Akechi's flow of speech) he is slightly indirectly responsible.

転々とさせられて tenten to saserarete

tenten to suru, in this context, means moving around often from place to place; living at a lot of different addresses. But note the passive-causative on suru here, saserareru. This is something that was done to Akechi, something others inflicted on him, something he experienced as a profound negative. This was bad. Looking at what he goes on to say later—"so someone would want me around!"—I've tried to capture this with "nobody would keep me".

Also note that tenten to suru, while not usually violent in this "moving about" context, is also a term for e.g. kicking a ball around, which again makes it an interesting choice of words.

気ままな一人暮らし kimamana hitori kurashi

This is a set phrase, essentially meaning "a free and carefree life alone"; it's used, often with a little irony, to describe the joys of living alone, or of being single. Note that Akechi does not mean this—he sounds (JP audio) miserable as fuck, and he's brought this up, rather ineffectively, to try and lighten the mood.

It comes across as "I was alone, and I'm still alone, but at least now I'm alone on my own terms and can do as I please"—which he knows is untrue, and we know is untrue, and Ren and Futaba can surely tell is untrue.

By the way, this quick use of a throwaway stereotype, as if it explains everything—ima ja kimamana hitori kurashi da kedo ne—is one of Akechi's verbal tricks; he becomes laconic in this way when he touches on things he doesn't want to discuss, things that are sensitive to him.

This is how he explains to the others in the engine room that he's illegitimate, for instance—tsumari kakushigo sa, "In short, I'm his secret child", kakushigo ("hidden child") here being a popular term, with no real English parallel, for the secret or unacknowledged child of someone famous or powerful.

You could maybe render his line here as a detached-sounding "but now I'm footloose and fancy-free", for the same effect.

色んな所 ironna tokoro

This is what has been translated "foster homes", but it just means "all sorts of different places":

Akechi 色んな所を転々とさせられた ironna tokoro o tenten to saserareta I was passed around from pillar to post.

So: he was passed from place to place, from pillar to post. Like a pebble rolling on a beach, or a ball being kicked around a field. Do we know what any of those places might have been? No; he doesn't tell us. There's IMO nothing here to suggest that he was in the care of the state—but equally, there's nothing that excludes it.

But Akechi returns to this in the anime, in Proof of Justice—and he is far more specific:

Akechi だから、母が死んだあとは、親戚の間を転々として行ったね。 dakara, haha ga shinda ato wa, shinseki no aida o tenten to shite itta ne After my mother died, I was passed around my relatives.

Anime Akechi gives us more detail, again with tenten to suru, but he removes a lot of the emphatic force—we gain the detail that he was with his relatives, but we lose that outraged passive-causative, that makes it clear this hurt him—what I've tried to capture with "nobody would keep me for long" up at the top. It's possible, of course, that the difference in tone is to do with the different tone in the two scenes—game Akechi is at a very low point, while anime Akechi seems reflective and chill.

But is this canon? Well, usually when the game and the anime contradict, I prefer the game for its lack of adaptation drift. But there are a couple of occasions when the anime seems to clarify things that were not clear in the game text—and IMO, this is one. Per the game, Akechi was passed from place to place; the anime clarifies that those "places" were with his relatives.

TBH, even the localisation's "foster home" doesn't necessarily imply state foster care; a relative who takes you in is a foster parent. Of course, if you want a backdoor here (which is in no way required, I'm not your mum), he never suggests how long he stayed with his relatives....

does anything in-game support this?

Well, there's one thing in the game that supports this reading, and it's actually on 8/28 itself. Immediately after Akechi says he was passed around after his mother's death, Futaba does this:

Remember, Futaba already does not like Akechi. She resents him for his pursuit of the Phantom Thieves, even before she suspects him of killing her mother. Yet when he mentions his sad past, she connects with him.

Why is that? It's because Futaba, too, was passed between her relatives—with the results we all know: they were abusive, exploitative and cruel, leading to her being rescued by Sojiro. The game draws an explicit connection here between Futaba and Akechi—suggesting that they have this backstory in common, of being passed between abusive relatives. It suggests we can glean a little more about Akechi's past by looking at what we learn about Futaba's.

And she was rescued; he was not. They both turned to crime to work off some of what they endured—but Futaba retained her moral centre, while Akechi fell off the edge. This is why she tells him what she does in the engine room: "You thought [being alone and not trusting anyone] was enough, right? That part I totally get."

but isn't he just lying his ass off here?

BTW, as to whether Akechi is just trying to ingratiate himself with Futaba (or with Ren) on 8/28—I don't think so; I think he tries, and then gives up after his performative cut-in. We just saw him trying to ingratiate himself with Sojiro—his failure there, at the start of the scene, is what upsets him and opens him up. So far, so good.

Is he trying to get in with Wakaba Isshiki's daughter, to continue his pursuit of her research on Sae's behalf?—the reason he was at Leblanc in the first place? No, because he never mentions it to Futaba, ever again.

What Akechi will do later is stand up for her, on 9/13, protesting Sae's threat to remove her from Sojiro's custody:

Sae: There have been frequent occurrences of mental shutdowns surrounding Okumura recently. Sae: If only there was a clear connection between him and the Phantom Thieves… Sae: Well, it would be problematic if there wasn't one. Akechi: So you're jumping the gun here. Akechi: You really told a man you would terminate his parental authority based purely on your speculation?

... and notice what he's doing here. Akechi clearly already knows about Sae's threats to Sojiro; she does not explain them in this scene. And Akechi has clearly not questioned her on it, as long as he thinks there's a reason for it. When it turns out there isn't one? He calls Sae out. Because Akechi knows what's it's like to be a child with nowhere to go.

Sure, it's not beneath him to throw Futaba to the wolves—or, ultimately, to try to kill her in the engine room. But he views it as distasteful, as unjustified, and as wrong. He knows gratuitous cruelty when he sees it—and it repels him. He knows the difference between right and wrong—he's just elected to ignore it.

And he expects far better than this from Sae.

revision history

click here for the latest version.

v1.2 (2023/11/21)—typos, plus extra context for the game and anime scenes.

v1.1 (2023/11/20)—reblog w/ additional commentary.

v1.0 (2023/11/20)—first posted.

[velvees-archive]

art cr: @cokiicookies on twitter

Tags: Love Confessions, Bratfeen, Art Student Feenie, Law Student Bratworth, Ace Attorney-typical cringefail, Canon Divergence

and many others!

HEAVILY inspired by @cokiicookies's bratfeen art on twitter! check out the full comic there!!!

"Hey...so...uh..." Phoenix coughs out, voice scratchy from his most recent line repetitions. It's a small mistake, not unsalvageable. All he has to do is stick to the script. Stick to the script. Stick... His eyes flick down to his note cards. He swears he’d printed them in his best penmanship, atop one of the library's extra premium desks, but everything is spinning and he feels faintly like he's going to throw up. "Did you uh," he starts, letters swirling in his eyes. "Did...you fall out of heaven...?" Genius prosecutor-in-training Miles Edgeworth regards him with a blank stare. Phoenix thinks now would be an opportune time for him to locate the nearest possible bridge and promptly jump off of it. - The joys and woes (mostly woes) of being in love, as told by BratFeen.

so i caved and wrote narumitsu. another huge thank you to @cokiicookies on twitter for allowing me to write an accompanying fic for their work. i attached some of the comic here in an attempt to entice you to look at their comic (well? are you enticed?!), but if you wanna see the full thing, please do give their art a like, a retweet, a comment, and all the love on twitter! fic screenshots below:

misc commentary/musings under the cut :)

the way i wrote feenie inner monologue and narration parallels my informal writing style, so writing his freak outs weren't challenging. consciously changing sentence structures/verbiage to be more or less extra, on the other hand, totally was.

the bulk of my pain came from writing fluff in the first place, stumbling through dialogue exchanges (as always), and attempting larry dialogue...all of which i honestly think i failed at pretty badly HAHA. who cares tho? it's my work!

bratfeen is one of my favorite narumitsu "eras" if you will. i've always wanted to write them. i didn't know the opportunity would come so soon (and at my expense considering i still have a zine fic to finalize for a diff fandom), but i took the shot. the full fic was written over the course of a day which i do not recommend anyone experience. i was on a writing hiatus for months and wrote 8k words as soon as i came back. do you see why i burnt out in the first place?

the easiest part about writing bratfeen is that none of the things i write are exaggerated for the purpose of carrying the plot forward. feenie believing that bratworth is better of a human being than everyone makes him out to be? sounds about right. feenie insisting to others that miles is the best thing since grilled cheese? his raging savior complex says that's likely to occur. feenie fumbling the bag because he thinks miles is the prettiest thing he's ever seen? yeah, 20 y/o feenie would! feenie shoving the asshole who talked shit abt miles? we saw the exact same thing with doug swallow (and we all know how that ended...). all of it is in line w his character. also miles being a try hard. that's a given.

i am hoping i can showcase more of my technical skill aka the angst writer in me with my next work, though i've been closely following fictober (haven't been publishing because, again, zine fic obligations) and have plenty of angsty fics stored in my drafts. i hope you enjoy my poor attempt at humor and fluff. may i muster the strength to finish the rest of my zine fic...please...

[yenonnoff]

ೃ⁀➷ the wanderer's love | (night)

synopsis: grieving comes differently to the wanderer—especially after the painful death of his significant other.

content: established relationship, angst, gn!reader dies haha; kazuha's part is a parallel version to this <3

note: this is 100% solely dedicated to @kqbukimono (may aka the best person ever aka loml) !!! i wrote this completely knowing that scara's ur fav and that u hate angst ᵔᴗᵔ this is for all the times that you annoyed me by being better at games

the wanderer's love | from beginning to end (kazuha)

your death had left him in despair. in devastation—in crushing anguish. 

there you were: cold and motionless, your life cruelly taken away far too soon. the gaping wound on your chest; the dried up blood coating your figure; and your spiritless eyes had left you unrecognizable.

there he was: looming over your deceased body with a soul-crushing expression. he didn’t want to believe that it was you. he didn’t want to admit that you were gone and that he was too late. in that moment, uncontrollable emotions swallowed him and he sought to avenge your death. it barely took a minute before he was by your side again. 

he stayed to wipe any dirt or blood off of your beautiful face. he stayed until he had the faintest will to stand—until he could no longer weep by your lifeless body. why did you leave him? why wasn’t he able to protect you? 

first, he cursed at the world and the men that took your life. then, he cursed at himself for failing you. 

for months after your burial the wanderer continued to mourn. he continued to grieve because he loved you. he couldn’t move on because a part of him was forever missing. 

no matter where he went, no matter what time of day it was, you were on his mind. even the simplest activity—strolling around sumeru’s enchanting forests—was agonizing. he couldn’t take another step without the smell of fresh dew and rain reminding him of you. 

it was worse at night when he couldn’t sleep. he would stargaze on top of canopies and wish desperately that you were still alive—still cheerful and warm with your head resting on his shoulder. he missed you. he missed your glory and tranquility; he missed the smiles that he would gladly go into battle for. 

nahida and the traveler had taught him the importance of realization and forgiveness. you had taught him the art of love and care. 

it was a slow process, however. the wanderer was accustomed to surrounding himself with walls and barriers. he was used to following his own rules, not charmed one bit by your strange way of thinking. (“strange,” because the wanderer never cared enough to see other people’s point of views). 

when he fell in love with you, it was like a chain reaction. everything became better: the wanderer—cynical and rude and previously wounded—grew to like himself whenever he was with you. “strange” turned into tolerable and then comforting. for the first time in a while, he was glad to exist. he was grateful to have met you, and now he was alone. 

you had taught him how to love, but not how to love again. so while you slumbered for eternity, your lover was awake with nothing but the memories of your warm hands in his. how peaceful it would be, he thought, to sleep with you by his side. 

his soul and his restless nights will continue to yearn for you. he’ll continue to reminisce about your time together until the memories wither away and lose themselves. the wanderer’s love will continue to roam aimlessly until it finds you again.

[ecargmura]

Dandadan Episode 11 Review - Jiji Goes Hehe

In a previous review, I did mention that Momo is the Shounen MC, but female, Okarun is the heroine, but male, and Aira is the rival, but female. The new character Jin Enjoji, or Jiji, joins in the reverse shounen story gender tropes as the fourth angle of the growing love square. Usually in shounen stories, there would be several girls who develop a crush on the MC, ranging from various types. For example, if Momo was male, Okarun would be the shy girl in love with the male MC and Jiji would be the girl that’s the total opposite of the shrinking violet. That’s essentially how Jiji is introduced throughout the episode—the total opposite of Okarun and a possible love interest for her. Don’t worry, though. Momo only has eyes for our male heroine.

Speaking of Jiji, he’s certainly…an interesting character. From a general standpoint, he’d be a divisive character, but for me, I find him hilarious. He’s entertaining, but doesn’t seem to go too overboard. He sort of reminds me of Kei from Oblivion Battery but less obnoxious. While he likes to clown around, Jiji does know when to shut up and not make a joke of everything like how he explained his situation to Momo about how the house he moved into was cursed and caused his parents to be hospitalized and how going to five different spirit mediums caused three of them to end their lives. He’s staying at the Ayase’s because Seiko is a spirit medium and is someone he’s acquainted with. The only downside is that Seiko’s not the one going to exorcise the cursed spirit; that’s Momo’s job. Haha, typical shounen MC mentor laziness.

Jiji probably means well, but he definitely is a source of emotional conflict for Okarun in this episode. Throughout the episode, he starts feeling jealous of Jiji as he’s everything he’s not and the fact that Momo used to have a crush on him back in elementary school. He was worried about whether Momo would want to spend more time with Jiji and not with Okarun because of his good looks and entertaining personality, but also failed to see that Momo doesn’t really care about a guy’s looks and that she was already over him a long time ago. The incident with Taro helps Okarun realize that he’s in love with Momo. I really did like the parallels of how Taro fell for Hana and related it to him. The day Momo stepped in to help Okarun from being bullied was when his gray world became full of color. It feels poetic in a way.

Regarding the animation, I can see why Science Saru was THE studio for Dandadan. The reason is because I don’t think other animation studios can animate Jiji’s movements as fluidly as they can. Jiji is a very bombastic character—he moves around A LOT and is also expressive. You need a studio capable of handling all that movement without missing a beat and is able to handle his expressions too without stock footages. I also loved the moment where they were running after Taro. It was really nice to look at.

Did I mention Dandadan has good voice actors? Because it does! Jiji is voiced by Kaito Ishikawa and he does an AMAZING job with him. Like, I know Ishikawa has a history of voicing comedic characters, but Jiji is practically an amalgamation of all of his comedic voice acting and taking it up a step further because of that experience. Not only that, this is the second time I’ve watched an anime where Kaito Ishikawa and Natsuki Hanae have interactions! The first was where both played the leads of my favorite anime of all-time, The Case Study of Vanitas and the second is Demon Slayer’s third season where Ishikawa voiced one of Hantengu’s clones (the green one) that attacked Tanjiro. In addition, in English, Jiji is voiced by Aleks Le! He’s clearly a rising star in the voice acting world as he’s been getting good roles in both games and in anime! If you’re not familiar with him, he’s the ENG VA of Sung Jinwoo from Solo Leveling! Though, his first major role was the comedic Zenitsu from Demon Slayer, so it does feel as if he’s going back to his roots of being comic relief. I quite like Aleks a lot, so I am a bit biased in my opinion of his acting. Also, Taro is voiced by Tomokazu Sugita and Hana is voiced by Fumi Hirano. They’re both veterans and the casting still amazes me.

Other than that, there are some small details in this episode I liked like Seiko giving Jiji more food every time he compliments her, Muko standing up for Okamomo and Okarun organizing his shoes and placing them in the corner before chasing after Momo and Jiji. These sort of small details really give life to the story and to the characters!

But yeah, that’s it for this review. The Dandadan fandom has been a war zone ever since the beginning of December due to all this art and racial drama that does feel a little too overblown. I won’t get into much about it as YouTubers talk about it more concisely than I can ever possibly do. Since then, it has been a mess, but I did my best to not get too involved in the drama and just ignore it as much as I could. Speaking of which, this is the penultimate episode! It’s crazy how Dandadan is finished next week! It feels like a waste because I want more! I hope that they announce a second season! What are your thoughts on this episode?

[daughter-lilith]

❅In Every Life❅

Halsin x Fem!Reader | Modern AU, Parallel Universes Part 3 | Read Part 2 here

Summary: Another day on modern Earth as you finally wind down for the late night in your quiet home. All is as it should be. All is normal as you prepare for bed. That is, until a tall, hulking man with pointed ears shows up at your doorstep claiming to be your lost love from another time and realm. But he’s a stranger. A stranger who forever changes everything you thought you knew about your life.

Explicit 18+ (In future Parts)

CW (For whole story): Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Tension, Oral, P in V, Shifting, Pain, Love, Halsin is Emotional!

Word Count: 4.2k

*Reminder, this is part 3. ⋆ a few tags for some (if you don't mind!) thank you to all enjoying so far! let me know if anyone would liked to be tagged for the next part. @stanfordscrush | @lanafofana | @catch-all | @thoughts-of-bear | @agathaharknessfan96 | @niki-is-a-reblog | @avabjorna36 | (some tags don't work but the thought is there haha)

Halsin sighed unevenly, leaning into your touch. When you squeezed your arms around him, he took it as an invitation to hold you tighter against him, sheltering you in his warmth. You fit perfectly in his arms, tucked beneath his chin, resting yourself against his chest, just like he remembered.

He rested his chin softly near your head and inhaled quietly, deeply. Taking in the scent of your hair, he was instantly met with a waft of memories as the light, citrusy scent with a hint of chamomile flowed into his nose. How it was possible that even your hair smelled familiar, he didn't care, all that mattered was you were in his arms again. You were safe.

He knew you must’ve felt the pounding in his heart, with your cheek pressed so sweetly against him. But he didn’t mind, he simply surrendered to the embrace, loving how your shoulders started to relax in his hold. His mind drifted to all the times he held you just outside of camp under the stars, or passed the time in the lively Elfsong Tavern while you and your friends gathered around the center, laughing and drinking all night.

You had helped him release a heavy burden after breaking the shadow curse, freeing him of his obsession to right what he felt were his wrongs. You released him from yet another cage, one of emotional and mental strain. With that newfound freedom, Halsin could finally allow his heart to seek yours willingly, without reservations.

Halsin couldn’t quell the smile on his face, visualizing the memory of your soft fingers tracing lazy patterns across his bare chest as you lay together. The morning sun would be peeking through the sheer curtains, casting a glittering shimmer across your beautiful, naked skin.

He’d lay there, one arm wrapped securely around you, and glance down to press a tender kiss on your forehead. You’d murmur sweet things beneath him before glancing up to grace him with your eyes, then leaning upwards to capture his lips. His heart would swell with the reality of you still being by his side, each and every day, grateful that it wasn’t all just a dream.

“It’s always going to be you, Halsin,” you whispered to him one night when his insecurities were starting to get the better of him.

Halsin had been a roaming man for as long as he could remember, when life made it painfully clear to him that good things were temporary, especially where love was involved. He let his heart run wild, free to connect with whoever managed to capture it, knowing one day they’d release it and move on.

Most of them just wanted the experience really; to say they once bedded an elf as large as a half-orc, who could also transform into a bear. And who was Halsin to not give the people what they wanted? They were just exploring nature’s bounties, something that he was very much a part of. And after the allure had waned, some slower than others, they always moved on.

But you never moved on. He didn’t want you to move on. Having you in his life opened a new way of love he had never felt before, had never received before. In all of his 350 years, he had finally understood why some people have no eyes for anyone else, seek no one else.

He discovered that nature was many things; ever roaming bees carrying pollen on the wind, traveling from flower to flower and sometimes back again. But nature could also be focused, still, where trees rooted themselves deep within the layers of the earth, rising tall and staying in place for centuries with the company of their closest loved ones all around them. The bear may not mate for life, but Halsin was not just a bear, and he wanted more.

You were all Halsin wanted, but still, he did not wish for you to feel trapped. Just because his desires had altered, didn’t mean you had to conform to them. He was more than prepared to continue sharing in your heart, anything to still have you in his life. But then you chose to stay with him after defeating the Absolute, and you continued to choose him day after day. You often reminded him of his worth when he couldn’t understand what he did differently to deserve you. His love for you only swelled to unbelievable heights, watered by the consistency of various acts of affection that you two showered each other with. Your love always overcame any hiccups and minor conflicts, rising above them and further strengthening your bond.

And standing there now, engulfing you in his large arms while recalling the past, it was enough to forget all that happened. It was easy to get lost in you again, to believe that he was still back on Toril and in Faerûn. His heart still desperately longed for you, his soul burning to reconnect with yours, sensing you were still there within. He longed to revive the fires between you, and to spend hours enveloped in your embrace, to make up for lost time.

“And my heart will be yours. Always,” Halsin would murmur to you before sealing his promise with a deepening kiss. Your warm breath would mingle with his as his lips would explore yours, slowly, intently. He’d chuckle as your tongue began tracing along his bottom lip, seeking entry which he always obliged, tasting you eagerly.

The image alone caused a sudden flush deep in his abdomen as hot blood flowed toward his hardening bulge. He stifled a groan, bringing himself back to the present as he remembered the brutal reality of this embrace. It was another goodbye; one he didn’t get the chance to fully have before your body so quickly faded from his arms, disappearing somewhere into the timeless space of the Astral Plane, becoming a permanent part of it… or so he thought.

Oh, how he ached to feel more of you, to let the softness of your robe slip from your shoulders, dropping to the floor. To have your skin against his… But he couldn’t, for you were already too kind to give him this much already.

Halsin shifted his hips, suddenly nervous that you were starting to feel him. Creating some space between your lower bodies, he hoped that he was discreet enough, not wanting to make you uncomfortable. But despite the building heat filling his abdomen, and the involuntary reaction to your touch, he wasn’t ready to let go of you yet. So, he held you a little longer, inhaling your scent and silently reveling in how perfectly you molded into him.

After some time, he couldn’t be sure how long, you were pulling away from one another, both of your movements slow and reluctant. His chest felt colder without you, already missing the warmth of your cheek, wishing these clothes weren’t an unwelcome barrier.

His large hands held onto your much smaller forearms, your fingers returning the connection, both reluctant to separate. Halsin watched your face rise to look at him, your gaze was so innocent and yet full of so many emotions. It pained him that he had frightened you, or the situation itself rather.

He continued to stare at you, intense, imprinting your image in his mind, not that he could ever forget it. You looked exactly the same, save for your more human ears and how you wore your hair, but it was the same face he fell for over thirty years ago. Halsin looked down at your lips as they parted, anticipating your angelic voice to grace his ears.

“Will you be okay?” you asked tenderly, full of concern.

His heart skipped at your worry for him, even now, when you had no memory of who he was. Even now, when you were wrestling with a torrent of emotions, your life completely changing in one night.

Halsin tried to smile convincingly as he reassured you that he would be fine, so long as you were. His thumb rubbed idly against your arm. “Finding you at all is more than I could’ve ever dreamed of. And I will spend the rest of time being thankful, until my flesh finally yields to nature.”

He watched your chest hitch a bit, a gasp you likely tried to conceal from him. He stood with bated breath while your eyes roamed over his face, carefully taking in his features. He noticed you looking over his scars, then down to his lips, lingering there. Halsin felt himself twitch, the blood throbbing against his pants never waning. He almost leaned forward, severing the distance to capture your lips in a heated kiss. But with a quiet breath, he swallowed the temptation, uneasily rubbing his lips together.

Halsin was a master of restraint, especially if he was unsure his advances would be reciprocated. That was until he finally allowed himself to feel, all those years ago, after lifting the shadow curse. From then on, he lost himself in you often with abandon, only pulling back when he felt the bear stirring…sometimes at least.

But your eyes left his lips, shifting over to his druidic tattoo. He wanted to tell you about it again, like he once did as the two of you sat near the edge of a river, sharing stories before you ended the night with passionate lovemaking. But he didn’t want to further overwhelm you with more stories of a life you didn’t remember, a life that was too much for your current mind to grasp.

Halsin watched you lean upwards, still eyeing that side of his cheek. His heart skipped as you drew closer, and he bent down, assisting you as he tilted his head a bit. He closed his eyes, bracing himself for the feel of your lips again. Though it would not be upon his own, he would not be greedy, thankful for anything you were willing to give him. The softness of your breath caressed his skin, sending a hot flash down his neck. Your lips, tender and a little cool, pressed ever-so-gently against his cheek. His skin tingled, filling with blood at the sensation of your soft lips.

But the euphoric feeling was cut short as Halsin felt you jolt backwards, nearly falling, but he was quick to catch you. Panic surged through him as he captured you back in his arms, carrying your numb weight. He eyed you frantically, startled by the shocked, faraway look in your eyes.

Your legs started to wobble, even as Halsin held you, so he guided you to the floor as gently as he could. Resting on his knees, he held one arm around your back, with the other hand coming to lift your chin.

“My heart?” Halsin breathed hastily, panicked, searching your eyes for any sign that you were there. But your gaze looked past him, a half-shocked, half-focused expression in your eyes. “What is it? Come back to me.”

He reached within himself, conjuring the magic that coursed throughout his essence. Pushing through his racing heart, he desperately brought his magic forth as golden light rose from his hand. He waved it over your face, closing his eyes, hoping to sense what suddenly ailed you. But a strange, mental force blocked him, thrusting him back. His magical light waned but Halsin did not relent. He muttered a spell, and bright, blue light now took the space of the golden one, and he pressed it to your cheek, hoping it would bring your consciousness forth.

But the gentle light simply caressed your cheek and flowed into your face, having no influence on your current affliction. His hands were trembling now, unsure what was happening to you but not giving up his efforts. The hammering in his heart was loud in his ears, fear rushing through him as you remained unresponsive despite your eyes still being open, the distant look ever-present.

Seconds passed rapidly, Halsin muttering spell after spell to heal or to remove a curse, remembering the levels to it that Shadowheart once taught him. But this did nothing to aid you.

A sudden thought beamed in his mind; to pick you up and open another portal to take you back to Faerûn. There, just maybe he could find the help you needed. Halsin knew nothing of this world, of its inhabitants, he wouldn’t know who to take you to. But if he went back home, there was already someone not far on the other side he could summon to help him, to help you.

But fear halted him. How would you react to this once you awoke? To find yourself in a world far from home without your consent? You were already afraid and overwhelmed, to wake up in a foreign place seemed like too much. He shuddered at the thought, hating the idea of you being angry with him. Yet, if it helped you, he would risk it.

But another thought challenged this… could he even open another portal so soon? He huffed, frustration snatching him entirely, mingling with the fear that gripped his throat as he held you.

Halsin leaned forward, resting his forehead against yours, and breathed deeply. “My heart…please.”

Your body gave another jolt.

You felt strong arms holding you, suspecting them to be Halsin’s, but you couldn’t see him anymore. The familiarity of your kitchen was gone, replaced by a flash of white light that nearly blinded you. An intense force erupted in your head, and you felt yourself being thrust forward, like being pulled into a vacuum. But as you looked around, you could only see a swirl of lights rushing past your face.

You frantically waved your arms around, desperately trying to find something to grasp onto, hoping to slow your body down but to no avail. You were soaring through this strange wormhole of colorful lights. The speed was faster than you could comprehend, and when you managed to look at your arms, an ethereal misty light floated over your skin, moving haphazardly. It had the same shape as your arms, your legs, and your torso, slipping partially out of your body before being snapped back inside. Fear gripped you like a vice as you realized what you were seeing was you, or your soul at least.

This is a dream. It’s just a dream. But you couldn’t remember falling asleep. Weren’t you just standing in your kitchen? You were talking to someone. A visitor. A man. An…elf? A handsome face flickered in your mind. Halsin! Where was he? What was happening? Panic started to have its way within you, but you willed yourself to stay strong, mentally holding onto your essence.

Whatever was happening, it was not going to take your soul, you wouldn’t allow it. But no matter how quickly you moved through this strange place, faster than sound, faster than light perhaps, your spirit remained with you, flickering in and out of view but otherwise attached. Your mind rattled as a million random visions assaulted you all at once.

Lights passed, unseen faces flashing by. A new feeling emerged, a sense of awareness. No, these were not random visions, but memories…your memories. They zipped by, and you desperately tried to focus. Wherever you were, whatever was happening had to be in your mind, so you should be able to control it, right?

The bizarre, portal-like wormhole shifted, dropping you into another gravity-less tunnel. It was brighter there. Blue and purple lights swirled around you, and the images reemerged, flying along each side of you like old film strips. You willed yourself to focus, to grasp onto them, they were yours after all and you had every right to access them.

A warmth spread across your chest and your forehead started tingling. Through the chaos, the visuals started to slow, briefly, flickering in and out as if they were also trying to find you, to give you a clearer view. Time began to slow, allowing you a chance to analyze each memory, to pause time before it rushed past you again. Hundreds— thousands of visuals passed by, but your mind was faster, quickly deciphering what memories you could before they zapped away again.

You saw a city, buzzing with people, but it wasn’t like the modern one you knew with hordes of foot traffic and annoyed drivers. This one felt older, brimming with magic, where unique races of all kinds roamed the streets together. Baldur’s Gate. You remembered it! You lived there once. Then, it flashed away.

⋆

A quiet beach, warm white sands beneath your feet. You stepped towards the water, flinching at the sudden coolness. You were just outside of Baldur’s Gate, visiting your cousin who was already waist-deep in the water. They beckoned you to hurry up. The waves were calm today, the perfect time to swim along the shallows.

A massive shadow suddenly blocked out the sun. You looked up, some sort of ship with… tentacles? The Nautiloid. Your heart lurched. It abducted you that day.

⋆

Another flash. Gone was the sun and sandy beaches, replaced by darkness and worn stone beneath your boots.

“Ugh, I’m going to smell like goblin guts for weeks.” You knew that voice, it came from your left. White hair entered the side of your vision. Astarion. “This isn’t good for my hair, you know,” you heard him say, groaning in defeat.

Behind you, Lae’zel and Gale followed as you led them through a winding side section of the dungeon-like camp.

Gale clasped his hands, following closely. “Right then! Let’s just find our ‘Master Druid’ and hopefully sort out this whole worm-in-our-heads mess.”

⋆

A bear behind bars. It was angry. Massive. No, not just a bear, an elf. The one you and your companions were searching for. Your heart hitched; you knew that druid. He was your druid. His eyes found yours, body covered in blood and viscera. You reached for him, nearly desperate. The vision faltered.

⋆

Laughter at a campfire. You were dancing around it, arms linked with Karlach and Wyll as you enthusiastically skipped along the ground while Astarion’s skillful fingers thrummed away at his lute. You caught a glance of Shadowheart trying to convince a very stern Lae’zel to put her sword down and have a drink. And across from them was Gale, who looked flushed after one too many cups of wine. He had conjured a magical image of Mystra, sighing as he gazed sadly at her.

You remembered this night. They were your companions, your friends. Across the fire, you glanced at him, Halsin. He was smiling, pure glee in his warm eyes as he watched you all dance the night away.

⋆

A small boy stood before you, tiny, horn-like branches protruding out of his head. “Ketheric Thorm must die,” the young boy said. But not just a boy- something older, something a part of the land around you. Shadows. A curse.

A grieving father, a general, invulnerable no longer. He dropped his weapon and freely fell backward into the eerie, green pool. You sprang forth, halted by Halsin’s grip. The ground trembled. A skeletal god emerged.

⋆

It had been days since you first met Halsin in the forest, who stood waiting for you by a large tree. He was so nervous that night. The tall, large Archdruid of many lovers, whose stomach was in knots at the thought of confessing himself to you.

Your relationship reached new, beautiful heights that night. Now, you were running through a similar forest, your throat echoing with laughter and excitement, the trees whipping past your heated face. Halsin was sprinting behind you, a hunter. The chase was thrilling. You couldn’t wait until he finally pounced on you, trapping you under his weight. But you’d make him work a little harder first.

⋆

“You’re one of them? All this time?” shock gripped your entire being as you stared up at the illithid. Your guardian, or who they had claimed to be anyway. Betrayal. Anger. Pondering… A decision was made to give it a chance since it had been helpful thus far. But one chance only.

“Thank you for trusting me,” the emperor said, its voice powerful and reverberating through you.

“Tsk’va!” Lae’zel spat. “My people broke free from ghaik enslavement, and now I would ally myself with one? If it so much as thinks of betraying us, I’ll cut off its tentacles myself!

⋆

Gale brushed down his robe, then reached to pick up his quarterstaff. “Well, the so-called ‘Slayer’ is no more.”

You bent down, digging through Orin’s pile of gore for the glowing stone. You grabbed it and then tentatively scanned the massive chamber, watching as the other followers of Bhaal simply looked down at you, disinterested.

Behind you, the druid’s deep voice reached your ears. “You would think they’d be more… dismayed about the fall of one of their own,” he said, hovering over you as if to act as a shield.

Gale chuckled. “On the contrary, I think they rather enjoyed the show. But best we do not linger.”

⋆

Sorrow filled your chest, aching to console your angered, distraught friend-turned-sister. But you stood still, not wanting to pressure her. She needed to get this out, to verbally rage with abandon to anyone who would simply listen.

“He’s dead, and he’s no fucking sorrier now than he was before.” Karlach gritted her teeth, her orange flames brightening, dancing along her skin. “I’m going to be as dead as Gortash any day now. Any moment. And what then?”

You started to reach for her, but the image blurred, rocketing away again.

⋆

Falling through the sky, winds rushed past your face, gravity doing nothing to save you. Large arms enveloped you from behind, shielding your back just as you both hit the water. Your arms and legs kicked and flailed in the water, trying to steady yourself in the chaos.

But you were not alone. You calmed as you recognized you were still being held, protected, already breaching the surface with almost no effort on your part. Exhausted, Halsin guided you toward land, the two of you scrambling to get back onto the docks. Coughs and sputtering filled the air around you, and a giant moan blared across the water. A fallen netherbrain, defeated. A bright, electric flash blinded you as the brain finally succumbed.

⋆

Heavy breaths, needy touches, and racing hearts gave the room life. Halsin’s lips tasted your chest, your neck, your jaw, then back to your lips again. You pulled away a few inches, staring at him, the two of you still bloodied and bruised, his lips swollen from your kiss. You had won, no more than an hour ago.

The city was battered, with several miles of destruction outside the window, it would take time to heal, to rebuild. But that could wait. Celebrations were already taking place. The evil was defeated, and you urgently needed to feel Halsin’s touch again as soon as possible.

⋆

White lights passed by, like streaks of lightning. Another vision. You honed in before it could rush away. A bedroom, golden light filtering in through sheer curtains. Peace washed over you as your bare legs draped lazily over thick thighs.

Your heart swelled, glancing up at your sleepy-eyed druid. “Good morning, my heart,” he whispered before leaning down to kiss your forehead.

Your stomach fluttered; heart happy. Twenty years of waking up in Halsin’s arms never dulled, no matter where the two of you were.

You broke the kiss to look at him, noting the lace of worry in his eyes. He hardly slept. You frowned, reaching to place a hand against his cheek. You already sensed what may be troubling him for it had been on your mind as well. “Did you rest at all, my love?”

Halsin breathed heavily, his large chest moving beneath you. “It was…difficult to.” You felt the pace of his strong heart begin to rise, ever so slightly. “We rejoin our friends and allies today, to take the fight to Vlaakith. I… I suppose a part of me worries.”

You smiled softly at him, full of understanding. It had been years since you faced such a foe. You had years of peace and bliss together since the fall of The Absolute. Not even your trip to Avernus to find someone to fix Karlach’s heart resulted in any remarkable enemies, completely avoiding Zariel’s detection. You stroked your thumb along the scars on his beautiful face, reaching back up to brush your lips against his.

You wanted to linger in this memory of calmness, to grasp onto it longer. But your mind’s hold was loosening, and just like that, it flashed away from you.

⋆

A sudden lurch forward, your body was thrust through a white light, eyes closing at the intense brightness. You fell roughly on your knees against a hard surface, hissing at the contact. Upon opening your eyes again, you half-expected to be back on your kitchen floor, back on Earth. But as your vision cleared, instead of the ceramic tile flooring beneath you, there was dark rock and dirt. A tingling sensation ran down your arms. You lifted your hands, palms up, watching as blue sparks of lightning flickered between your fingers, eager to shoot out at anything you commanded it to. But things felt different this time. You weren’t simply watching a memory anymore; you were living it.

Part 4 here!

Note: I must admit, I'm very eager to post the next part. I hope I can edit and have it up within the next two days. Thank you again to everyone reading!

[shakingparadigm]

may i ask your opinions on what ivan is truly like ?

( without pretending to be someone or something else entirely ? )

Okay !! Finally back to answering asks !! Once again, please be mindful of the fact that these are mostly my own personal thoughts. Always take them with a grain of salt.

The thing is, Ivan is an incredibly difficult character. He was written to be complex and multi-faceted, literally having more than just one "face". His actions almost always have another layer of depth to them and he tends to contradict himself, further complicating people's perception of him. It's not easy to pin him down, and that was exactly the intent. They made sure that the viewers wouldn't be able to fully grasp his emotions.

( I find this fact rather funny, because in one of the behind posts QMENG herself says that sometimes Ivan does things she cannot understand. The creators just allow Ivan to be complicated. He is what he is, and while there are undoubtedly reasons for it, the full truth remains unknown to us. )

Regardless, this is what I personally think.

Ivan seems to define himself by his imperfection, so much so that his actions and perspectives are influenced by his deep self-hatred. It's established that Ivan is "lacking" something, he is fundamentally different from others. Ivan builds himself around this since he literally has nothing else. He defines himself by his lack of definition. The fact that he is different and needs to be "cured". Ivan grows attached to the qualities that he "lacks", drawn to the biggest personality in the garden like a moth to a flame. He is fascinated, not envious, and I think that says a lot about him. He places those qualities on a pedestal, believing them to be so much better than himself. He feels that it's something he will never achieve or deserve, something he can't have.

It's interesting that the only time we can pin Ivan as "envious" is not when he's faced with his opposite, but with his parallel. Someone he believed to be just like him.

One thing about Ivan is that he is (unsurprisingly) lonely. Since his entire life is defined by this feeling of separation from others (either literally through the segyein's selection or more intangibly through his mental and emotional difference from others), Ivan feels constantly isolated. Nobody has been able to properly understand him, which further worsens the feeling that something is wrong with him.

When he finally finds someone that he can relate with, it brings him a sense of relief. Note that when Ivan refers to (what he perceives as) their similarity, he uses derogatory language. Twisted. This is how he views himself.

( translation is by @sorrowcure ! )

Compared to his interactions with others, his confrontation with Sua is uncomfortably honest. Ivan is most critical with the person he relates to, further emphasizing how deeply critical he is of himself. Ivan is not envious of Till or Mizi, who are so fundamentally different from him, he's envious of Sua because she is just like him yet has something that he doesn't.

It may feel unfair for the one person you saw yourself in to accomplish something so out of your reach. Her love was reciprocated in full, adored and revered by the person she loved most. They weren't the same, after all. It reinforces what he always believed to be true: he was alone.

( translation by @/oreganocactus on Twitter! )

There are many other instances of Ivan's self-deprecation and low sense of self-worth that leak into his behavior, such as down-playing himself in his interview, referring to his own feelings as "shallow", convincing himself that he was never truly cared about, etc. His deep dissatisfaction of himself rises to the surface quite often, shown in the way that he takes pride in his achievements (his work), yet cannot view himself as a person in a positive light.

INTERVIEWER: What do you think is your charm?

IVAN: I can't really think of any, because I think I have more flaws (haha),

To me, a lot of the "actual" Ivan can be seen in his younger self. It's not a complete display of what Ivan is truly like, obviously. He was a child and hadn't yet developed in certain areas. Still, it's a period in Ivan's life where he didn't mask or play up a different image. The quiet, stoic, and blunt Ivan seems to be a more genuine side of him, at least compared to his more charming persona. QMENG considered Ivan with his hair down to be "most like himself", and I think it's no coincidence that the most memorable version of Ivan with his hair down is his child self. The infamous Bowl Cut Ivan.

With this fact in mind, I also find it no coincidence that in ROUND 6, where Ivan is presented as a "perfect actor" in costume, he starts off with his hair slicked back.

And when he finally drops the mask, when he acts out of his own volition, his hair falls onto his face. Hair down, most like himself.

Another notable instance of Ivan's hair being down is the casino/karaoke room scene, which was quoted as an example for Ivan's emotional immaturity, his supposed "childishness".

There's so much to be said about Ivan, including the neurodivergent/autistic traits that have been discussed by other people in more depth (notably his difficulty in understanding/expressing certain emotions, his masking, his often misconstrued actions, etc). There's also many of Ivan's more conflicting aspects (which seem mostly confined to the patreon? so I'm not sure if they're still planning to incorporate it into the publicly official content or if it was overhauled), but I'm going to stop here because I feel like this post is already pretty random and disconnected.

The gist of it is that I don't think I can give a solid answer on what Ivan is truly like. I'm not even sure if he can answer that, as he seems to be at war with himself quite frequently. Ivan, under his charming and cheery facade, is unable to feel or express emotion in the same way other people do, which causes difficulty and struggle in many other aspects of his life. Not like the one he has is completely his anyway, but, you know.

[exaltedfuzz]

hiii! this is really random but i was looking at your pinned comic again and what do you think gant meant whenever he would talk about swimming? idk if it's because there was so much going on while playing the case, but i could never really figure out if there was more to it and im curious about your interpretation if you dont mind !!

Well, honestly, I think it's threatening enough if it's just swimming. (Speaking as someone who can't swim, haha.)

Seriously though, I think it's a combination "let's be better friends and have fun" with an undercurrent of "you know I could hold your head under water at any time and everyone would think it was a freak accident". Because swimming can be brushed off so easily as simply something fun, there's a sort of gaslighting there too. Like "Now loosen up... why did you think I'd drown you? We're just having a good time, aren't we?" This sense of constant threat in something so supposedly happy. Just like Gant himself.

As for swimming with Lana, although he never proposes this in game, it's what I had in the comic, so I'll put some of the thoughts behind it here.

I'd imagine it as a purposeful disarming tactic again. Lana's design, I feel, is a collection of things to keep her looking strong, and importantly, to cover up her weak points. Her shoulders need squaring up, so she wears military style epaulettes. She's shorter than Gant, so she wears heels. She can't have her throat vulnerable, so she wears a scarf. One that's interesting is the medals. Firstly, her heart is the reason why she was able to be manipulated so entirely, since everything she did was to protect Ema, but the medals are on the wrong side of her chest to keep her heart locked behind her achievements. And Gant knows this, he flat out says it in game - that he "knew Lana" and knew that if Ema was implicated, she'd do "anything and everything he wanted" (don't remember who says this, think it might be Nick), despite being someone who "hated anything corrupt" (Angel). Second, I think this means Lana is a bit insecure. None of the other King of Prosecutors winners that we see (Edgeworth, Manfred) have any desire to show off the medals they presumably have (and though I know this is partly because they didn't exist when they were being designed, I also think it's interesting from an in-universe standpoint) so I think Lana is clutching at the things she can tangibly show off. (Interestingly, this actually makes her slightly like the other Chief Prosecutor we see, [Blaise] Winner. He's covered in the badges... I won't spoil AAI2 for what they are, but... The means by which they each obtained their medals and what they point to about them is, now that I'm thinking about it, a really interesting parallel. But that isn't the point.) She does the same thing with her grades, tells you she was the best in her class. I think that without these accolades she'd feel completely useless, so, this brings me to swimming.

Obviously, swimming, you're half naked. I propose that Lana's insecurities extend to this. Seems the sort to be arms folded in a T-shirt and jeans at a pool party. So, I think an invitation to swim with Gant would be something designed to unsettle her and make her uncomfortable, make her lose all her neatly put together armour. I'm not keen to read potential sexual motives into it, for Lana's sake. That poor woman has really been through enough with what's contained in the canonical text. But certainly, Gant would use it as a means of preying on her insecurities and pushing her buttons re: covering up vulnerabilities. The threat of being scrutinised, without any shields (chipped or not) under Gant's uncomfortably long stare, would be terrifying. I think with Gant, it's always the threat of how entirely unknowable he is. Of course, that unknowable-ness leads to him murdering two people as almost a reflex action, and all he seems to care about is making pawns and raising himself up.

Also, since it's water, it's a sort of washing the blood away style thing. Actually, now that I write that, when you look at Gant's design, he's got a huge cross on him. (And parts of his design went into Strongheart, who has a sort of clergyman-style coat) Maybe there's a bit of a baptism/washing away sins Christian style thing going on there. Not to mention the massive church organ in his office. (On Gant's cross tie, actually, something I noticed and found really interesting was that there's so much "red around neck" in RFTA. Gant's tie, Lana's scarf, Ema's bow, Jake's neckerchief, Angel's little octopus hotdog thing, the suit of armour in Gant's office even has a red scarf style thing. Something about the chains heavy around all of their necks. Naturally the most assertive red is Gant's, since not only does it branch out like a marionette controller, but at the center of it is his big badge. So having the chief position has given him control over all these other "red around neck" people, ready to tighten up the noose at any time. I'd say Angel gives credence to this too. She has the least red going on, and she's the only one who doesn't work there anymore. It's also not actually the thing around her neck, which is a black choker, but an accessory that she's attached to it. Emblematic of her really choosing to go back into this world however she can, and that includes emulating the "red string of fate", as it were. Neil's tie is pink (which is light red) so it's faded into memory, and Bruce's is blue with white spots. Now, this doesn't seem like red, but blood is red too, and the luminol reaction is blue. So this is the discovery point, if that makes sense. Where the red has been revealed to be blood under the blacklight, and things start to become undone. Ultimately, as well, the "white spots" become the holes in Gant and Lana's plan, so I think there's something there! But that isn't the point of the post.)

One thing I find interesting about "swimming" in particular is Gant's theming. His damage sprite is him going completely nuts electrical style. So maybe...

Thanks for your ask, sorry for going off on one. Hope I answered your question, haha!

[the-voldsoy]

Parallels/references/a couple theories about TMAGP EP1:

grouped in order of actual theories, vague things i noticed, and even vaguer comments! (using the same terminology as in TMA for ease)

HEAVY Spoilers !!

Stronger:

“Colin, mate, you know you’re never getting out of here” +won't leave until they figure out the errors “Or they finally kill me” → couldn't quit the Archives because they thought they just wanted to understand and know (but later found out they could only get out by dying or blinding)

Lena talks about cake → Mr Spider doesn't like cake + Elias seemed to love the stuff

pub called The Seward -> Peter Lukas vibes?

“There has to be a way to do this online” → haha ! you wish. (AKA supernatural interferes with internet so it cant be dont online)

“There's this box for a "Response 121" on the form.” → MAG121 is the episode Jon is woken from his coma/brought back to life by Oliver Banks

Talk about how there used to be a separate “Response” department → Elias tells Jon its their job to watch, not interfere (iirc)

Old as shit computer → old as shit tape recorders

AKA: the computer seems to be the only thing that can handle the supernatural

“ "Dolls comma watching" or "Dolls comma human skin" “ → violently Stranger and possibly Eye, has me in mind of MAG24 (the one the Calliope is first mentioned in, where the boyfriend is turned into a doll iirc) 

Barely understandable, long as shit file names →barely understandable, long as shit files names by Gertrude 

[in response to where the files go] “some long dead database that no one will ever look at or care about” → the Archives were unmanaged, decrepit and barely used by anyone outside of them

Work during the night - no sun, cut off from outside world → worked in a basement - no sun, cut off from outside world

Martin (and later Jon) taking the statements → did the same in TMA but in reverse (although I’d love to know if there's any reason behind them being called Chester and Norris, besides what's stated?)

Haha Martin and Jon (and Jonah) are now part of the World Wide Web → shit now they're part of the Web (just like with the tape recorders !!)

Someone talks about how they're sorry, they should've listened, couldn't face not hearing him again → martin @ jon and vice versa

Stranger statement with hints of the Dark → first TMA statement was a Stranger in the dark, and it does put me in mind of the Anglerfish tbh

Sorting system for the statements (although there's is a Lot more detailed and v different) → Smirke’s Fourteen

Gwen openly does not like Lena → literally anyone @ Elias

Asked if they were tricked into working here → well, we know the Archives and Elias

“The awful, terrible thing that landed you here?” → most of the Archives (excluding Sasha and maybe Martin) had something that made them Marked, that mostly led to them working there

Someone who's into spelunking listed the Institute as “cleared” → who could that be (if we know them at all)? Buried avatar, i'd guess, but we don't really know any of them

Photos of the Institute don't show up → photos of the supernatural don't work

The Institute was “weird”, made the subject paranoid → lingering Eye

Fire twenty years ago that burned the Institute → Like the fire at Hilltop Road? Or like that time Gertrude tried to burn down the Institute?

Third floor was the most burned → assuming that's the top floor (and correct me if i'm wrong), wasn’t Jonah in (and later killed) on the top floor?

“offices like little cells” → employees were certainly trapped ! also Millbank Prison

Worried non-existent doors were going to slam shut → the Distortion

Weren’t any papers → left behind before the Institute came to this Somewhere Else (assuming it's the same Institute)? (we need an actual name for the original universe and this Somewhere Else)

Suspicious stains on some floors → my darling, that is blood ! or possibly squished worms, or ink. or possibly something Else

“an old wooden thing with a bunch of similar symbols on” → genuinely unsure what this could be

Strange symbols → For all the Fears, or just the Eye, i wonder? I think i remember them saying something about an Eye symbol at this point, but now i can't find where

“you get a job, I get a fresh victim. It’s all in your contract.” → Elias @ his employees

 “To new beginnings, with old friends” → to a new beginning, with our old friends Jon, Martin and Jimmy Magma :)

“You’re not as clever as you think you are. You think you've got us all fooled, that no-one knows you're listening, But I do. I know. I’m going to find you and then…” → hi what did he mean by this

They (jon, martin & jonah) are Watching and Listening and following through technology→ just like Elias (Panopticon vibes tbh) and Sergey Ushanka

Vaguer (idk if theres anyhting here, but wanted to include it anyway):

Alice loves coffee -> Martin loved tea

Meeting in a cemetery → Sasha with Michael pre-prentiss attack, Naomi Herne 

Not wanting to stay at home because it's full of memories → Jon moving with Georgie, Martin moving to the Archives

Gwen Bouchard wants Lena’s job → Bouchard (appeared to) climb the job ladder quicker than he should have

Heh bug list → corruption

 “You don’t seem like the usual hopeless wasters Lena hires” “The awful, terrible thing that landed you here?” → okayy no need to be rude. But anyways the OG Archives crew were actually pretty disconnected from the rest of the world +were barely there by choice?

“freight cars near Brighton” → hey where did Melanie get her first Slaughter mark ?

“it’s not too awkward working with an ex?” → Georgie and Jon?

FR3-d1 -> i feel like there's something there, but i cannot figure it out

Just words that made me irrationally scared:

Stranger(‘s)

Distortion

Opposites:

Starts with a party for someone leaving → couldn't quit the archives

“ …you are perfectly within your rights to resign. No one is forcing you to stay here.”

please put any opinions/additions in the tags !!