#pantry essentials list

[financia012]

My Top 5 Grocery Store Must-Haves

List your top 5 grocery store items. Grocery shopping is an essential part of our weekly routines, and over time, I’ve discovered my go-to items that I can’t live without. These staples not only keep my pantry stocked but also simplify my cooking and snacking habits. Here’s a peek into my top 5 grocery store items: 1. Fresh Fruits and Vegetables Nothing beats the vibrancy and nutrition of…

[ceilidho]

fear of god

prompt: There's someone outside the spacecraft. You don't remember them being part of the crew. Part 3 masterlist

-

You don’t know exactly what you’re waiting for, but it doesn’t happen.

The man doesn’t appear again. No one knocks on any windows or appears on any scans though you run another one not twelve hours later. It’s not enough to convince you that it was all in your head, but it’s enough for you to start the process of putting it out of mind. 

You just can’t shake the unease following you, a shadow extending out from your feet. Your skin feels tight against your face, clinging to the muscle and bone; months under artificial light will do that to a person, sap them of something essential that can’t be replenished with just vitamins capsules and supplement injections. The human body isn’t meant for space travel. It longs for the sun and the earth under its feet. 

And now you have something new to worry about. 

Much to your relief, Hadir doesn’t bring up your earlier encounter at dinner. Though part of you wonders whether he mentioned it to anyone else, he doesn’t outwardly treat you any differently. Amiable as ever. It goes a long way towards assuring you that he must have put your earlier encounter out of his mind already. You should too. 

It’s just that—

You’re the person the crew goes to when they need fixing. Abrasions, lesions, migraines, broken bones, aches and pains. Though your training is in emergency medicine and space physiology, years of clinical rotations and field research have equipped you with an extensive medical background. Not the least of which includes psychological and neurological health. You’re the de facto psychologist on board should any of the crew suffer a mental health crisis.

And if there’s something wrong with you, who’s going to fix it?

You sit with that thought for entirely too long, but then one day passes into the next and nothing happens. When you look out the window, you only see the throughline of the universe, its heart tipped over and the milk spilling out. The ambient light in the station keeps you from seeing it as clearly as you’d like, but it’s there when you look out the window, ever-present. 

Still, you can’t help thinking about an astronaut somewhere out there, slipping into the darkness like a cold lake dragging a body down into its depths and holding it tight to its breast. 

You shake off the thought. Scrub a hand down your face. 

When your stomach rumbles, you ping the crew to let them know you won’t be in the medbay should they need you and head out to grab a bite to eat. Nikolai is already eating at the counter in the galley when you come in to make yourself supper. 

No crew dinner tonight. Though you eat together for the most part, there are days where work tasks keep everyone’s schedules from lining up. You know from the morning briefing that Alex and Graves will be busy until well into the evening working on celestial navigation and dead reckoning.

He looks up from where he stands hunched over the steel tray of food in front of him, a mix of rehydrated rajma, rice, and raita, and waves his fork in a silent greeting. 

“Is that what’s on the menu tonight?” you ask.

The big man nods, pointing towards the pantry with his fork. “New week. No more Hamburger Helper,” he says with no small amount of derision towards the aforementioned meal. 

You smile. “Looks good.”

Though the new ownership thankfully didn’t skimp on food rations, most of the crew’s daily meals were determined months ago, long before the ship’s departure back on Earth. There’s a laminated week by week menu tucked away at the back of the pantry listing each day’s repast from departure until arrival, but you haven’t given it so much as a glance since you boarded. Better to have something to look forward to every day. 

The food packet from the pantry goes into the rehydrator for the requisite amount of time and then into the crisper to add the texture back to it. Space food is never quite as satisfying as the food back on Earth, but you’ve grown fond of it in recent years, even enough to crave it back home. No matter the dish, you can always taste the faint peppery, slightly bitter undertaste, like fresh watercress. 

You’d been planning on eating by yourself back in your quarters or at a table in the mess, but you feel weird just leaving Nikolai to his own devices after exchanging a few pleasant words, so you join him at the island counter. 

“Did you have a lot on your plate today?”

“My plate?” Nikolai asks, looking down at his food. “Нет, not so much—I had big lunch at around four o’clock.”

You bite your lip to suppress your smile. “No, I meant, did you have a lot of work?”

“Ah, why didn’t you just say that? Yes, lots done today, lots more to do tomorrow. Farah and I are still working on finding the root cause for the issue with the cruise control.”

“It’s a tricky fix?”

“Yes. Complex,” he grunts, talking around the food in his mouth. After weeks of eating with him and longer working around cut open bodies and exposed organs, you’ve long learned to suppress any sign of disgust on your face. “The pilot augmentation system isn’t controlled by this ship’s AI, so it’s not an easy software fix. We thought it was component degradation from the asteroid the other day at first, but Farah had a look at it today and all seems good, so not so sure now. Maybe gyroscope malfunction. Maybe GPS receiver is having issues. Hard to say. Lots of work still to do.”

You nod as if you understand. Most of it goes over your head apart from the obvious frustration in his voice. 

“Would be easier problem to fix if we had specialist, but—” Nikolai shrugs, a rueful look on his face “—little budget, small crew. Better we have doctor for wrist sprain than specialist to fix pilot augmentation system.”

Though his tone isn’t necessarily bitter, you can’t help but prickle at the light sarcasm. Your impulse is to go on the defense. It isn’t your fault medics are mandatory. Certainly not your fault that the original twelve crew member allowance was slashed to only six. 

“Farah and you make a good team,” you say instead, ever the diplomat. Magnanimous despite the way your teeth ache in your gums. 

“Smart girl, that one. Would clone her if I could.”

His praise makes you look away only because you wish it could be aimed at you. You crave it these days. Not necessarily from Nikolai, but from anyone. The downside of these longhaul missions is that you go months without interacting with family or friends; it’s why space crews bond so strongly with one another, the only reprieve from the claustrophobic sense of isolation out in space. It’s also why you’ve felt as lonely as you have these past few months, emotionally out of sync with this crew. 

“Let me know if there’s any way I can out,” you offer as he finishes up the last of his supper, putting his tray away into the dishwasher.

Nikolai nods. Hums. “Could do with another pair of hands.”

You smile, relieved.

He starts heading towards the door, throwing a hand up behind him to wave goodbye. “Will let you know when I find some way you can be useful.”

The smile slips off your face. The doors slide shut behind him, silence filling the room. 

You don’t have it in you to eat much more. Most of your meal goes straight into the compost, along with the empty packet, and then you leave the galley as well. The last couple of hours of your day are spent sitting aimlessly at your desk in the medical unit until it’s time to head back to your quarters to shower and sleep. 

And then to bed you go. 

In the middle of the night—though the meaning of ‘night’ seems boundless out in space, like a word without a cognate—a deep sense of unease throbs in your chest. 

Sleep sloughs off you gradually and then all at once. One minute you’re twisting in the web of a nightmare and the next, your eyes are open, staring sightlessly up at the ceiling. 

You sit up in bed with the dull ache in your chest growing worse. The duvet slips off you and piles around your waist, the sheets under you damp with sweat. It hurts like heartburn. 

It’s too early for breakfast and you don’t have to pee. You’re not entirely sure what woke you up actually, your last dream already fading away, the threads of it unraveling when you reach out to try and pull it back in. It’s too far away to recall any of it. Propping yourself up on one arm, you twist to the side, hoping to let the sight of the stars guide you back to sleep. 

Out of your window, like a lone buoy in the middle of the ocean, an astronaut floats in the middle of space. 

For a moment, it doesn’t register. Likely just a dream that you haven’t woken up from yet. It’s remarkably vivid for a dream though. Your room is a cool dark blue, the band of dim artificial lights encircling the window beside your cot giving your quarters the distinct feel of a night back home on Earth. It’s only when you pinch your bare thigh and wince from the sharp, accompanying sting that you grasp that you’re awake. 

You are awake and there is a man floating away from the ship. 

The light from the ship glints off his suit, illuminating the shape of him. You stare out at him with increasing concern and dread. Not consciously grasping the gravity of the situation, but aware that you need to do something. He’s farther away this time, so distant that though his white spacesuit is stark against the dark field behind him, the visor of his helmet is impenetrable. Dark as obsidian. 

He drifts aimlessly in space, his body so still that you wonder if he’s even alive. With a jolt, you wonder if, in your haste to find help the other day, he did run out of oxygen and simply floated away. Occam's razor. You did not imagine a man speaking to you from outside the ship only for him to vanish from existence; he simply passed out while you were gone and drifted off before you could save him. 

“Oh shit,” you hiss, scrambling out of bed, nearly getting tangled in your sheets on the way out. You don’t even bother changing into more appropriate clothes, slamming the button to your door and squeezing through the gap between the door and the wall as soon as it opens for you. 

The corridor outside your room runs from stern to bridge, and is dimly lit at this time of night. The ship oscillates through Earth-tethered day and night cycles, the lights only at their brightest at a certain point aligning with morning back on Earth to simulate the distant sun. A slight chill to the air as well, to mirror night. Artificial photic and nonphotic zeitgebers to ensure the body maintains its circadian rhythm. Necessary to prevent sleep deprivation and keep the crew from going mad.

Now though, it makes you feel prey-like. Small. Darting from your room to the cockpit like a mouse scurrying across the savanna under the cloak of darkness and moonlight. 

Your bare feet smack against the metal floor as you run, the sound following you down the main corridor towards the cockpit. You pass another porthole but don’t bother glancing out of it, too intent on reaching the main viewing deck. You’ve got to—

Get the body help him save him I’m so sorry I left you out there��

Alex and Graves’s heads snap up as you barge into the cockpit panting and drenched in sweat. You don’t bother to explain yourself, heading straight for the flight deck window instead and leaning over the dashboard. The edge of the panel digs into your pelvis as you lean into the window. 

You crane your neck to look left and right, scanning as far as your eye can see. The astronaut you saw off in the distance from your bedroom window is gone. Only stars and dust shine from lightyears away. 

It doesn’t make sense. You saw him with your own two eyes drifting out there. You couldn’t have mistook him for anything else—not with the shape of his body, the helmet obelisk black. But there’s nothing out there. Nothing at all. 

“Doctor?” Alex asks tentatively from behind you, standing up from his chair. 

When you glance over your shoulder at him, wide-eyed, reality finally begins to seep back into you. The two of them stare at you from the other side of the cockpit, their concern and wariness evident in the tension in their shoulders. 

“Um—sorry. I…”

You don’t really know what to say. There’s no excuse that seems appropriate, no way of explaining the state of you, panicked and out of breath. For all intents and purposes, it’s the middle of the night. No reason for you to be out of your quarters and so disheveled. Panting like something chased you out of bed. 

You wonder what they would see if they cut you open; if they’d find your intercostal muscles bruised from the heavy beat of your heart. 

“Somethin’ you wanna share with us, doctor?” Graves asks. His tone is far less charitable, verging on suspicious.  

You swallow on a dry throat. “No, I’m—…it was nothing. I just…I had a bad dream.”

From the way they look at you, you can tell that neither of them believe you. It's flimsy, as far as excuses go. But there’s little else they can do but take you at your word. The rules are different out here, more tolerated than back on Earth. Everyone goes a little stir crazy; you just have to know how to manage it. 

“I should go back to my room,” you whisper when neither says anything. 

You move towards the door on cautious feet, suddenly aware of how cold it is in the cockpit. Goosebumps ripple down your arms and legs, nipples beading under your shirt. Alex politely averts his eyes when he notices. If you were less distressed, you’d be humiliated. 

“Get some sleep,” Graves says, eyes following you until the doors close behind you. 

You walk back to your quarters slowly, pausing to glance out one of the portholes just to confirm that you haven’t made a huge mistake. 

A minute or an hour goes by. You see nothing out in the distance.

Back in your room, you shut off the automatic light that comes on when you enter and collapse into bed. You avoid looking out the window for your own sanity, instead turning over onto your side. Wide awake now. Nothing to do but wait for sleep to sneak up on you again, if you haven’t scared it off entirely. All you can do is think about the look on Alex and Graves’ faces and cringe, pulling the blanket up over your head. 

Sleep almost finds you again when something knocks twice on the wall beside your head. 

Your breath catches in your throat. Fear scuttles across the floor beneath your bed. Just don’t look. Don’t look at it. You squeeze your eyes shut, waiting for it to go away. 

Whatever it is knocks again. The window this time. 

It takes an age to work up the nerve to roll back over. When you look up at the window, a face stares back at you, so close now that you can make out dimples and thick lips turned up at the corners. A close-shaved beard.

He smiles down at you, heedless of the horrified look on your face. “Hello again, love. Care to let me in now?”

[namism]

take me back | hange zoë

➳ categories: modern au, ex hange, female reader, angst

➳ word count: 11.7k

➳ summary: Hange Zoë realized that they didn't account for a lot of things before ending your relationship.

➳ notes: for everyone's reference, nifa, abel, and keiji are members of the fourth squad (hange's squad) and this fic was lowkey inspired by the lyrics of "kiss me better" by rihanna (don't ask lmfao it's so random). also, if you'd like, please read this on ao3 instead as i worked my butt off coding (yes, i coded instead of using screenshots) your DM's with hange. the version on tumblr is just a bunch of words, so the ao3 version is worth the read! you can find the link below :)

➳ cross-posted on ao3

ONE.

Five seconds before Hange ended your relationship, they noticed their hand clench tightly into a fist.

Three seconds later, they relaxed their hand before sucking in a deep breath and saying the three words you had always dreaded.

"Let's break up."

After three minutes of constant denial, you finally sucked up to your lover's—ex-lover's—decision and promptly stormed out of your apartment. It wasn't until the next morning did you come back to the shared space to pack your things and leave, not even daring to look at Hange's direction as you stowed away items into numerous moving boxes.

Hange remembers telling themselves to behave before you visited the apartment one last time. Knowing themselves, they would have said something stupid with the intention of taking back their words to get you back. Just before you strutted into the living room, Hange talked themselves through their crazy ideas in the mirror, eventually deciding to withdraw to the confines of their study in fear of interfering with your purposeful packing and making matters worse.

Hange got the signal from your tabby cat that you were out the door when it started making noise at the entryway. Its nonstop meowing was the go-signal for Hange to emerge from their study to find the apartment completely dulled down as it lacked the color that once filled the room.

It wasn't until near midnight that they decided to get something to eat after more than 24 hours of not having had a proper meal. With the intention of snacking a bit before hopping back on call with Levi and Erwin (their current emotional support duo who were surprisingly amazing at providing comfort), Hange walked over to the fridge to grab something to eat. When they opened the refrigerator, however, a green sticky note posted on the door caught their attention.

Adjusting their crooked glasses, Hange read the writing aloud.

"Cat food in drawer. Ask Nanaba for feeding schedule. Molecular kits to be sent this week. Nori hidden in pantry. Check all sockets. Check stove. Prepped food in fridge..."

It was at that moment Hange knew how badly they messed up. Written telegraphically, you had fit as many words as you could in the little sticky note to list all the essentials that only you would know how to do around the flat and the ones that Hange easily forgot to do. As another wave of sadness washed over them, Hange bitterly ransacked the fridge for an apple and a bottle of beer with decent alcohol content, then retreated to their study where Levi and Erwin chastised them over the screen for doing dumb and dumber things.

That essentially sums Hange's first 72 hours after breaking your heart into a million pieces. As a research scientist who's been confined at the lab for the past 15 years, those were by far the most uneventful 72 hours of their life. Hange found themselves weeping, drinking beer, ranting to Erwin and a less interested Levi, and sleeping for a maximum of two hours before doing it all over again in a never-ending cycle. It momentarily stopped when they had to work first thing the following Monday, but they relapsed quickly once they arrived home.

Hange couldn't remember the last time they drank that much beer. Their diet got worse as time passed, and thankfully Levi seemed to notice as he had come to their rescue the following evening by giving—drugging?—Hange with a sufficient dosage of melatonin in the black tea he offered. Much to Levi's surprise, Hange was down in 20 minutes without noticing a damn thing. They woke up the next morning, feeling lighter and well-rested.

Unbeknownst to them, Levi continued the routine with an appropriate concentration of melatonin until Hange was stable enough to be told the truth. They weren't bothered by the idea and were frankly more grateful than surprised. Over time, Erwin would swing by to share a cup (minus the dosage) only to leave the apartment with Levi after tucking Hange neatly in bed. Hange would wake up, feel energetically amazing despite the inevitable emptiness in their heart, and go to work.

TWO.

If you told Hange Zoë four years ago that there would come a time in which they would do something as dumb as breaking up with the only woman they were ever attracted to, you would have been called insane.

To be clear, Hange was never big on physical attraction. They were attracted to the weirdest, nerdiest, most mystifying things in the world, but attraction to humans? Certainly not. Hange Zoë, PhD (aged 27 and a certified organic chemist who had made at least a hundred drug-dealing jokes in the past eight years of studying), couldn't concern themselves with romance when it never crossed their mind to begin with. The only types of attraction they ever concerned themselves with were intermolecular forces (which they very much enjoyed learning in sixth grade chemistry) until they met you.

You were the perfect woman. Of that, they were certain. You began as friends in Hange's final year in university for their Bachelor's degree, but your friendship continued until Hange was halfway through their Master's. At that point, Hange felt as though your relationship was pretty solid given how often you spoke and saw each other outside campus. Before they knew it, they found themselves falling for you, their thoughts being muddled by images of your sweet face during the most random times of the day. Hange was wrapped around your finger and they couldn't get themselves to stop.

A month after that realization, Hange decided to ask you out in their own fashion—casually, but enthusiastic. You began dating some time after that and your relationship had been going strong ever since.

Now, after calling off the relationship with four years of dating and no rocky bumps on the road, Hange does, indeed, feel like an idiot. An imbecile. A dumbass, even. Blockhead. Nitwit. Stupid twit. A cretin. Hange could open the Cambridge Thesaurus and list out the synonyms for "idiot" because that's exactly what they are and there is no way of redeeming them from it.

"I just wished you would make the effort to spend time with me!" you exclaimed, eyebrows knitting in sorrow rather than anger, like Hange expected. "You can't even help me clean because you're so busy at your job, like— like I don't even exist sometimes to you."

Hange understands that it's their fault, but they cringe every time they recall the argument that led to the ultimatum. It started on the wrong foot. Looking back at it now, they suppose it was a chain of misunderstandings, one piling onto the other, until the tension finally snapped and dragged both of you into a full-blown argument.

"When the hell did I ever make you feel that way?!" they barked back, eyes wide and irises firm. They looked at you, waiting for an answer. "See?! You can't even answer me! Ridiculous!"

"I'm just— I'm just disappointed, okay?! Fuck, I don't know..." Head falling to your palms, you wiped your face in a stressed motion. "You never, and I mean this, you never—not once in our relationship—ever misunderstood me, so what's gotten into you? Aren't you're so clever, huh?! High IQ, high EQ?"

"Oh, please, in what world would I forget that my girlfriend exists?!" they yelled. You flinched at their tone. "I don't ghost you, I don't ignore you— I come home late, but damn, you don't know the guilt that eats me up every night because the only times I see you are when I go to bed and leave for work—"

"And who's at fault for your guilt but you?!" you retorted. "Hange, you"—you shoved a finger to their chest—"you're the one who can't take care of yourself because you're so invested in everything but your life at home! We haven't gone out in three months, like— like don't you think that's strange? Everyone is getting married, having kids, fuck, even my juniors are on their third night out of the week, yet you can't even take care of yourself unless I do it for you!"

The truth is, being obsessed with your job and anything that has to do with it is also detrimental to everyone who loves you. It never crossed Hange's mind because they haven't had this much on their plate since you started dating. There was always some time allotted for you at the end of the day, but things started to change lately.

On top of their regular job at the lab, Hange has four other things to do: tutor high schoolers for their admissions tests, teach as a part-time lab instructor at a private university, be a loving partner to their girlfriend, and be an equally loving parent to their adopted cat. Life hadn't always been like this, but they found themselves taking up more responsibilities over time until it was physically impossible to rest on most days. They couldn't even enjoy their weekends, for goodness' sake (because the high schoolers would always come knocking in their emails with more questions)—but if they were to take a break, they would return a day later to even more work.

Hange is simply not the type of person to live a peaceful life. Their peace is chaos; it doesn't help their mood when they aren't working on anything that stresses them out. Perhaps that's just the person they are. It should be okay to be this way, to always be in constant motion as long as the heart is followed and their happiness is fulfilled, but it isn't because they're risking so much of your relationship the more they work, work, and work.

You've always been supportive, but even your unconditional support can't realistically understand their position. Or that's what Hange thinks. They assume as such because your lifestyle is much freer than theirs. You have more time to yourself despite your regular 9-to-5 job. You don't have responsibilities outside of it and your personal life at home. Because of it, you decided to handle the work at the flat; Hange never had time for it anyway, much to their dismay. They had always wanted to help, but their schedule just never allowed it.

After a while, the chores automatically became your responsibility and never theirs. You had no problem with this. Hell, you even enjoyed it—you bonded with Hange's friend Levi over being clean freaks together as you always hated seeing mess. Although the duty of cleaning and keeping everything in check (including Hange and their health) soon became an irksome chore rather than something you enjoyed for the fun of it. The less Hange spent time with you, the more it annoyed you. You felt used, like some sort of maid. It was not a problem when you volunteered in a compassionate understanding of Hange's circumstances, but the least they could do was to make up for it by arriving home early or spending even a moment of intimacy.

But no, they had been so busy about other things that they couldn't provide the time. You hadn't gone out in almost three months to grab something to eat or go somewhere fun like you used to. You would take each other out to places you've never been to before regardless of how low-budget it was. You would have been happy with a simple late night trip to a fast food chain if it meant having your partner to yourself after months of no quality time, but such a trip just never came to be.

Witnessing Hange have a destructive breakdown whenever they came home exhausted was an even bigger problem. They never cried, but they were always so close to it. You would hear their frustration at one o'clock in the morning or through your heavy eyelids after being awoken by their wailing. When it got mentally tough, you would offer to stay up with them for comfort, but you were always sent back to bed or, worse, shut out from their study, where they isolated themselves.

They were awfully good at taking care of anything and anyone but themselves, so you felt the need to do it for them. And overall, the cause of your separation was a problem built on top of another. It was why you were so agitated when Hange could barely spend time with you, but your intentions came out wrong. You had explained all of this to them as you argued, yet they misunderstood your concerns as an insult to their work and commitment to your relationship.

Hange rolled their eyes as you cried. They were tired and had no time for this. They were running late for class and figured it would be cancelled at the last second because of your argument.

"Okay, let's get this over with—"

"You're mean. You're so mean, Hange." You slapped their hand away when they tried to touch you. Hange's face turned sour at your reaction. You were still crying.

"Please, can we just stop this?" they asked, voice sounding impatient. You glared at them with all your anger, but your gaze softened when Hange returned a look, weariness written across their face.

"I would never, ever, do this to you if I lived your life," you said softly. Hange remained silent. "I can do it all for you, so why can't you do it for me?"

You were right. Even with your freer schedule, you kept yourself busy with maintaining things at home that it technically felt like a second job. It didn't help your feelings when Hange was oblivious to the work and effort you did. When they cried to Erwin and Levi about this, the pair had opened their eyes to your side of the conflict and made Hange understand. Truly, they didn't account for a lot of things before ending your relationship: from the responsibility of feeding your cat and cleaning the house to understanding your partner's feelings.

Levi called Hange a moron for making you upset and a four-eyed loser for prioritizing "that nerd shit" over you. He had known Hange since high school and was aware of their insatiable obsession with science, even going as far as to believing that they would earn a Nobel Prize in Chemistry one day. Hence, when you started going out, Levi knew that they had fallen for you deeply, and anything that would break your bond could only be explained by supernatural phenomena or Hange's bewildering stupidity.

That said, Levi did the best he could to make Hange understand your viewpoint while Erwin patched their empty heart with anything but beer, apples, and Levi's special melatonin-infused black tea. Hange felt better having understood your feelings, so the next logical step was to talk it out with you for proper closure.

Except they couldn't.

You had already blocked Hange's number just days after the breakup, and your friends—unsurprisingly—weren't about to offer them any help.

THREE.

"Thanks for all of this, Nanaba."

It turns out that even with Hange's attempts at achieving the perfect work-life balance, they still can't master the duty of being a proper owner for the cat. Hange called Nanaba the day they saw your sticky note on the fridge, and since then, they have been keeping in touch with her for the cat's essentials. Hange has also been trying to manage their time better as a way of retribution that they can do better for your relationship, even though they no longer have any means of telling you (which is the harsh reality that they don't want to accept).

"Pfft, don't question it!" Nanaba pats Hange's shoulder as the cat rubs itself on her legs. "I would do anything for this little one! I've grown to like Ion so much, I want to keep him forever!"

"If only Miche wasn't allergic, I'm sure Ion would love to be your new owner," Hange jokes, mentioning Miche, one of Nanaba's roommates.

"Oh, you're just saying that. I'm sure you're a great owner. Sometimes you simply don't have the time to be perfect, and that's okay!"

Nanaba leaves a few moments later after giving Ion a much-needed head pat. Afterward, Hange and the cat decide it would be best to lounge at the living room couch and stare at the ceiling to absorb the quiet.

Ion struts over to the empty space by Hange's feet and lays his body flat. A few seconds later, he conforms his body into the oh-so-famous "catloaf" position, hiding his limbs and tail under his chunky body. Closing his eyes, Ion drifts off to sleep while a laying Hange watches the feline.

Ion, a male orange tabby Persian cat, is the devil reincarnate who happens to be your and Hange's practice child. Hange remembers you describing Ion to be the real-life twin of Garfield, the fictional cat who happens to be of the same breed. They recall questioning your choice at the adoption center upon hearing your many complaints of the feline's behavior, but you shook your head and snuggled the animal in your neck.

"This one's okay," you told them. The cat purred. "I need a little shit for a cat to entertain myself with whenever you aren't around. Also, it should be good training for a kid in the future."

Hange recalls bringing the cat home after a long day and trying their best to make friends with it. You chose the cat yourself, so it liked you more than it did Hange, but it didn't take long for it to start liking them.

"Hey, it likes me!" Hange cheered to themselves as the cat rested on their chest. You smiled. "I can't wait for it to like me better than you."

"You wish!" you retorted, seething with jealousy.

The cat was nameless for a few days as the both of you tried to come up with the perfect name, opting to call it "The Cat" for the meantime. You were against the common ones in favor of unique names, but you were also against certain names that could fool people into mistaking your cat for a human.

Hange kept suggesting the strangest names that were more often than not derived from scientific terms—you liked most of them, but they sounded too scientific for an orange cat who spends most days lazing around the flat. For lack of a better word, they sounded out of character.

That was only until Hange came home from a productive day at the lab, where they toured a bunch of interns and introduced them to their stations.

"Knock, knock," they began. You didn't reply. "You're supposed to say, 'Who's there?'"

"Is this another orange joke?" you asked. Hange shook their head.

"No! It's even better than that. Knock, knock."

You rolled your eyes, laughing.

"Who's there?"

"Cation."

"Cation who?"

"Can't ion-ly knock once? I'm positive you'll open up!"

You snickered.

"You and your silly jokes. Please don't tell me you were telling the interns knock-knock jokes at the lab all day."

"Ha-ha." Hange laughed slowly. "Wow, you totally figured it out!"

Suddenly, The Cat leaped onto Hange's shoulder, frightening them momentarily before being seized. The Cat struggled in Hange's arms as your partner hadn't learned the proper ways of holding a cat yet, but The Cat eventually nestled on their chest. A bright idea came to mind.

"Hange," you called out to them in excitement. They looked at you, intrigued. "What do you call a meowing ion?"

They thought about it silently.

Once they realized, they held up The Cat in the air, effectively surprising the feline.

"A cation!" they answered. They swayed The Cat around swiftly, confusing the poor animal who had no clue of what was to come. "You're a genius, (Y/N)! We should call this one Ion!"

It was a simple but nice name, one that you liked enough to give your partner the go-signal to name the cat as such. Ion seemed to like his name as he picked up on it quickly. It took him a week to get used to the one-syllable three-lettered name before it occurred to him that his two owners identified him with it.

At present, Hange watches Ion open his eyes and hop on the coffee table, sniffing the black tea they had prepared for themselves (this time, melatonin-free). Suddenly, he spots a particular item on the open shelf by the television and jumps over to inspect it, prompting Hange to move.

"No, Ion, get away from there."

Hange stands up from the couch and walks toward the cat. They heave it from the shelf with skilled hands, but it refuses to be picked up as it clings to a picture frame, its claws digging into the glass. Ion hugs the frame for dear life, but its grasp isn't enough to support the weight. One wrong move and it will fall.

"Ugh, put that down, you little cat! If that breaks, I swear to god!"

They manage to get the item out of its grasp when Ion is distracted. Hange decides to put the frame on their work desk in the study room, the one space in the entire apartment that the mischievous cat rarely enters, and believes it to be a fool-proof plan.

Despite all efforts, however, Ion leaps from Hange's hold and onto their work desk.

"Ion!" They grumble in frustration, seeing the cat sniff the picture frame and sit beside it. The photograph is special; it was a photo of you and Hange on your first anniversary that they never bothered to put down after the breakup because they've been clinging on to the little shimmer of hope that you would come back. It's one of the few traces they have left of you at home (and they're eternally grateful that you decided to leave it), so if the cat breaks it, it's over.

Another wave of sadness washes over them when Ion caresses the glass with his paw. Hange notices how he paws your face in the photograph, clearly missing your presence. They frown.

"I know, Ion. I miss her, too." They rub the cat's fur comfortingly. "I'm sorry for being stupid. If I could let you see her again, I would."

And they mean that. The cat misses you dearly and it breaks Hange's heart to imagine that it probably thinks you're dead. Hange isn't too deep into zoology to know if animals can understand human conflict, but they most likely don't. They suppose cat and human break ups are different.

Ion meows as his owner picks him up with a tight grip. He tries to reach out to the frame once more with his stubby limbs as Hange pulls him away from the desk, but he unleashes his claws in protest and grips Hange's shoulder in a devious attack.

"Ow— what the fuck!" Hange hisses as Ion's claws dig deep into their shoulder. They let go of Ion as he leaps back on top of the table, sitting beside the picture frame once more.

They palm their scratched shoulder, glaring at the cat.

"Alright, you want to stay in here like a sulking loser?! Fine by me!"

Hange leaves the study with the door open and the light fixture turned on just so they wouldn't forget to retrieve Ion later. As they walk to the bathroom to wash the wound and rub it with an ointment, they put on some music with the iPad Mini they rarely use.

When the device connects to their home network, a notification instantly appears on screen.

(Y/N) (L/N) recently added to their story.

Hange stands in front of the mirror, dumbfounded.

Not knowing what to do, they simply stare at the notification with raised eyebrows, feeling their chest get heavier by the second. They have an internal argument with their imaginary shoulder devil, who tempts them into clicking the notification. Nothing can go wrong, right? Well, it's just social media—yet their angelic side knocks into their conscience in hopes of waking them up from the temptation, serving as some sort of warning for any consequence that is to come the moment they snoop around your social media. Hange doesn't do anything long enough for the notification banner to disappear, effectively sealing their decision to ignore it—

Hange clicks on the notification at the last second.

The Instagram app opens, then it loads the first photo you added to your story an hour ago.

Great job, Hange. You're responsible for your actions and for your broken heart! They think.

Once your Instagram story loads, Hange recognizes you in a group photo with your friends from university. Dressed in comfortable clothing and makeup done so beautifully, Hange thinks you look stunning as usual. You look no different from the last time they saw you, but they're not quite sure how you're doing behind the sweet smile you have on your face.

Or perhaps they're just projecting their own sadness and can't fathom the idea of you moving on from them. It's a selfish thought coming from the person who initiated the break up, but they yearn so hard for you to still be in love with them against all odds.

Who's a sulking loser now? They think again.

They tap through your story, thoughts continuing to barrage their mind until the last one catches them off guard.

It seems pretty normal: a photo of the sunset with a song from an artist you like playing in the background, not until they notice the little green icon at the topmost part of the screen. They're still in your Close Friends.

They squint their eyes and read the small text at the bottom of the image.

let me see ion one more time pls. i miss everything

"What the hell?"

Breathing in deeply, Hange steps away from the iPad in shock. Dramatic, they know—and there is absolutely no way that this is real since they have been blocked from your contacts just a few days after the breakup, but knowing you, this is something that you would totally do. And it's not like you voiced out to see them—you wanted to see Ion, the cat. Hange should be jealous that the cat gets your attention in this scenario, but knowing you (yet again), you would never be the one to articulate that kind of desire. Regardless, Hange knows that you still want them. Or they pray that you do.

You must. You have to.

Hange is just surprised that they chanced upon your story since they haven't opened their Instagram account in months, and truth be told, they only had one for the sake of having a social media presence that isn't Facebook. Suddenly, the pain in their shoulder fades away, and their only goal is to find some way to respond without sounding like a selfish asshole.

They should post a story with just you in their Close Friends, something that would totally shock you like how you shocked them. Hange believes it's an amazing plan until they try to execute it. Well, they had never posted anything on their story before. Everything that they ever posted on the platform went directly to their feed which over time became a messy jumbled dump of random photos. They don't have many followers, either. You had once called them a "shitposter" with a "garbage dump of a feed", which tells Hange enough that they probably shouldn't proceed with the plan.

So, they settle for your private messages with a direct reply to your story.

Upon opening your direct messages, however, Hange's heart sinks. You didn't block them on Instagram, much less take down the customized settings in your private chat, so everything stayed the same as before as if nothing ever happened: your nickname is still "My Darling Dearest", while theirs is a matching "my beloved". Your chat theme is still the "Love" theme on Instagram with your back-and-forth messages colored pink.

Hange thinks of what to say, what to type. This will be your first conversation since the breakup, after all. They shouldn't mess it up by saying something stupid.

An idea comes to mind. Hange hurriedly exits the bathroom, iPad Mini in hand, and enters their study. They find Ion in the same position as before, laying beside your picture frame as he paws on your photograph. Hange tucks the iPad in between their armpit and seizes Ion from behind.

"A-ha! Gotcha!" Rejoicing, Hange carries the cat out of the study as he instantly goes feral in their hold. They restrain his paws as much as they can while they talk Ion into doing them a favor. "Please, Ion, don't you want to see your mother again? (Y/N)?"

At the sound of your name, the cat calms down and Hange sighs.

Man, this cat has issues.

With the behaved cat, Hange sits on the couch and places Ion on their lap, belly facing them. The cat looks at them in confusion, watching his owner pull out the iPad and excitedly open the Camera app to take a photo of his vulnerable form.

"Mrao?" the cat asks.

"Just stay still," they order.

Ion makes a face of disapproval and shuts his eyes tightly, stretching his limbs out as he tries to contain his annoyance. He wants to see you again, even if it means just staring at your photograph and burning your image in his head, as opposed to being captured and taken photos of like a show animal. He loves Hange for feeding him and taking care of him, but why would they separate him from you? He misses you so much.

"Looks good enough." Ion hears Hange mumble to themselves. He meows another time in a questioning tone to ask if the job is finally done so that he can go back to admiring your photograph. When Hange puts him down on the ground, he bolts for the study.

Meanwhile, Hange stares at the messages they had sent you on Instagram.

my beloved: Heyy... Ion misses you too... my beloved: Attached Image my beloved: hahahahhaaafh :') Seen

They sound like a nervous wreck, akin to a middle schooler who's confessing to someone for the very first time in fear of rejection. Hange doesn't expect you to reply right away, so they stow away the iPad on the coffee table while they scream into one of the couch pillows to relieve their stress. Suddenly, the device vibrates.

Hange is looking at the notification in no time.

My Darling Dearest: thank you

Their heart leaps out of their chest. You replied. You actually replied. It's a simple thank you that probably doesn't mean much to anyone else, but it means the entire world to them given the current circumstances. Hange breaks into a grin as they stand up from the couch and pace around the living room, rereading your two-word reply over and over again.

my beloved: Of course of course, don't mention it!!! my beloved: Sorry for the exclamation points, I'm not shouting :( Seen

Their celebration ends quickly, however, as Hange curses to themselves upon typing a stupid response with the apology at the end. They take a deep breath. Okay, Hange. Don't mess this up now!

They watch as the read receipt appears at the bottom of their message. A small bubble with three dots appears then disappears every so often. You continue to type for the next 30 seconds and Hange grows anxious.

When you don't reply, their shoulders fall.

"Just my luck," they mutter. Hange is left at read even after six minutes of waiting. At this point, they can't identify the best course of action after getting ignored. They guess that it's better than being left at delivered, and that they should be grateful that you replied in the first place, so they exit the app and admit defeat.

But they come back running a minute later after having realized that they should initiate. Of course you wouldn't want to talk to Hange after they broke your heart—even if you still love them dearly, it's only appropriate if you refrain from any kind of interaction... yet you had replied to their message when you could have just totally ghosted them, removed your cute chat decorations, and blocked them on every social media platform there is to exist.

Hange isn't giving up on your relationship. They can't give up on you.

my beloved: To tell you the truth, I saw your story earlier and I figured that you might want to see Ion again my beloved: I understand if you don't want to see me, but I can drop him off my beloved: He misses mom a lot! D: Seen

Hange observes just how fast you read their message and smiles to themselves when they see you typing. They're glad they pulled the "our-son-misses-you" card as it seemed to be enough to get your attention. Hange looks at their study, remembering the cat who's snuggled up with your photo. Ion would be more than delightful to hear about this.

My Darling Dearest: tomorrow 2 PM. my beloved: Oh okay!! my beloved: May I ask where? 😅 My Darling Dearest: i'm staying at nifa's my beloved: We will be there! Seen

Hange giggles, kicking their feet. They throw the iPad on the couch and run to the study. Picking up Ion from the work desk, they hoist the cat in the air as they celebrate. "We did it! We're seeing (Y/N) tomorrow!"

"Miaow!"

"I know! Okay, I'm giving you a bath tonight." Hange puts him down and lets the cat roam free. Suddenly, they remember that they have work tomorrow. It's currently Sunday afternoon and their workload is calling their name. "Fuck."

Running their fingers through their hair, they shake their head. It shouldn't matter. They have more important things to attend to.

FOUR.

"Look, I'm sorry for being an asshole. I reflected on everything I said the past month and I understand that I was wrong. Please, from the bottom of my heart, can you give me a second chance?"

"Wrrrao!"

"Ugh, get up. We're both bad at this."

Ion meows angrily a second time when Hange picks him up. It's his call of hunger. He demands food and water because he's Hange's (and your) precious cat who can do no wrong, like the king of the flat, the king of everything. Hange situates Ion on their shoulder and lets him balance there as they prepare the cat food that Nanaba had sent yesterday. He smugly watches Hange plate his meal and promptly hops off their shoulder once they put his pet bowl on the ground. While Ion digs into his breakfast, Hange disappears into the bedroom and locks themselves inside to be left alone with their thoughts.

Ever since you consented to seeing Ion—and Hange—yesterday afternoon, they decided to call in sick at work. Once that problem was out of the way (which, to their surprise, was a fairly easy process), they decided to craft an apology to rehearse if they ever find the time to insert a small discussion in your "casual" meeting.

"That's great to hear, Hange!" Erwin told them last night over FaceTime. Hange had to break the news to someone other than the cat, and since Erwin (and Levi) had been there for them since day one, they decided to tell him immediately. They were hoping to get his opinion on the matter, maybe some word of advice and a 101 on "how-to-approach-your-ex-girlfriend". But Erwin was empty-handed, equally clueless as he hadn't been in their shoes before; he never tried to get back together with an ex. He was hopeful, though. "Sorry about that. In any case, I believe you can handle it on your own. No one knows her better than you."

But Hange isn't handling this as well as they'd hoped. Usually quick with words, they thought finding the right ones for their apology would come naturally, but it hasn't. Every attempt feels clumsy, every phrase falls short. The weight of the moment presses on them, and the uncertainty of how this meeting will unfold only makes it worse. It could go right, or it could go wrong—but Hange can't shake the sinking feeling that the odds of success have never felt slimmer.

Hange wonders what's running through your mind. Did you sleep well last night after your conversation? Are your friends warning you it's a bad idea to meet up with your ex? Or maybe you're considering canceling altogether? They figure that's unlikely, though—after all, you've missed Ion like crazy. Your bond with Ion (Hange chuckles softly at their own chemistry joke) is far too strong for you to say no to seeing him. Still, they wouldn't blame you if you canceled. After all, who'd want to face the person who shattered their heart?

Regardless, Hange has been rehearsing countless scenarios, crafting a plan for every possible outcome if things don't go their way. They've already revised their apology at least four times, hoping one version will hit the right note when they see you this afternoon. In one scenario, they picture knocking on your old friend and roommate Nifa's door, leaving Ion on the doorstep, and waiting out of sight until you step outside to find him sitting there, alone on the mat. Then, they'd emerge—calm, composed—and launch into their carefully prepared speech. In another, they imagine standing at the doorway, holding Ion and a bouquet of flowers, their nerves barely hidden. They'd offer you both—flowers and cat alike—with a heartfelt apology for their foolish mistakes, hoping it's enough to bridge the gap they created.

As they sit in silence, though, Hange thinks they're going overboard. You would probably appreciate it if they brought you something other than the cat, but spoiling you with flowers and some other romantic shit when you aren't together anymore just sounds... pathetic. Pitiful. It feels like they're begging for your love through material possessions when they shouldn't. They hurt you with their words, their gestures, so they might as well patch it up by promising to do better and showing it all through their actions.

So Hange arrives with just the cat. No flowers, no chocolates, none of that romantic stuff. Just them, Ion, their keys, and wallet.

Breathing in, Hange rings the doorbell. They arrived pretty early—it's still 1:46 PM, but your and Nifa's old apartment used to be on the other side of town so they had to leave the flat early. As they wait to be let in, they stroke Ion's orange fur and pray to a transcendent being that everything will be okay.

FIVE.

A month away from Hange feels longer than it should have been. A month is a year in your book, and on some days, it feels even longer.

It's the aftermath of a breakup—an unwelcome shadow that lingers over your life. Even with a regular job to keep you busy, Hange's words haunt you, often pushing you to the brink of a breakdown. You can't seem to escape it. The moment you're alone with nothing to distract you, the discomfort creeps in, settling like a heavy knot in your stomach. Whether it lasts three minutes or five, it always ends the same, your tears threatening to spill as the weight becomes too much to bear.

To your luck, your old roommate Nifa had provided you amazing company while you tried to mend your broken heart. You met her in university when you moved out from your hometown and lived within the residence halls for the duration of your undergraduate program. When your friend group expanded, the both of you moved out of the dorms with Abel and Keiji into a four-bedroom apartment near campus, which became your home until you decided to move in with Hange three years ago. Hence, when you stormed out of your apartment after the breakup with nothing but your phone and wallet, Nifa was the first person you called.

She welcomed you to your old home with open arms, followed by Abel and Keiji who came running back home to tackle you into a group hug. You had been away for so long that they almost didn't recognize you—you had grown since you had last seen them five months ago, but you ought to think that it was the stress taking a toll on your body.

The merriment of your return drifted away as you explained to the boys why you visited. They comforted you for the rest of the evening and offered every kind of help. To say they were disappointed about the news was an understatement. Abel and Keiji were upset to learn the details, while Nifa exploded into flames—they found it absurd that Hange broke up with you and not the other way around.

"Seriously, why would someone do that to the sweetest girl out there?!" Nifa exclaimed, eyebrows knitted and face evidently furious.

You agreed with them. It was quite strange that Hange ended your relationship for that reason when it was something you could have made amends with. You had never fought in your relationship as any issue encountered was almost immediately solved with proper communication. It had always been that way since you started noticing Hange's workaholic attitude, which merely turned out for the worst.

You were lonely. On some days, you felt unloved. Hange couldn't spare you a glance as you made breakfast in the morning because they would be working away at the study the moment they woke up. The longest stretch without any real acknowledgment from them lasted four days, and it drove you mad. It was a cycle of waking up, going to work, and going to bed without them, and you had never felt more distant. You tried to invite them out to dinner in hopes of rebuilding your relationship, but you were always politely turned down.

That was arguably the worst part: they weren't mean about it. In fact, Hange seemed genuinely apologetic every time they declined. Yet as the days dragged on, the apologies began to sting. It didn't feel like them to refuse you so often. They had always loved going out with you, and even when work consumed their time in the past, they had always found a way to make room for you. This wasn't the Hange you knew.

What changed? You had wondered. Hange was always running around doing things and you were aware of that. They could never sit still because there was always something that they wanted to work on. You loved that about them; it was what you found interesting about Hange that made you fall for them harder. There is great honor in working so scholarly at a lab day and night and you couldn't be any prouder, but to do so in excess transformed it into a vice that hurt the both of you deeply.

Hange didn't know how to take care of themselves until you came into the picture. Their obsession with constantly working on things hindered them from eating regularly or looking after themselves. When their schedule got tighter the past few months and you witnessed their health deteriorating like a decreasing health bar in a video game, you got mad. Call it motherly girlfriend instincts and whatnot, but you were bothered by it.

"You didn't eat your food." You frowned upon seeing the small container with the food you cooked that morning. "What the— Hange! Why is your water bottle still full?!"

It was excessive. They weren't eating the food you packed them yet they would have the audacity to come up to you a few days later with a growling, aching stomach. "I swear, if you develop an ulcer, what are we going to do?!" You would cook for Hange whenever that happened, whether it be at 10 in the evening or two in the morning. Whenever they needed something, you were up and standing, ready to help them with whatever—and it was exactly why it hurt so much when they couldn't even hang out with you like you used to.

"I can do it all for you, so why can't you do it for me?"

Nonetheless, you didn't want to break up. No, that wasn't the best decision. It never was and it never will be. Hange is a scientist with a passion for learning, so surely they can learn to be better, yet they ended your relationship like they weren't willing to.

And even after weeks of not having Hange by your side, it still pissed you off so much that they couldn't just listen to you or make the commitment to do so. You couldn't suppress your anxiety either. Everyday, you would think about how they're doing without you being there to maintain things at home. You doubt the note you left by the fridge was enough to keep them going. While they eventually had to learn how to do things without you, there's a discomfort at the pit of your stomach that they wouldn't be able to live like normal without you around. Their regular job requires lots of time and attention on top of the many other commitments they have—hell, they probably will struggle with taking care of the cat!

Although the wound in your heart faded as time passed. While you still worried for Hange, your hurt became anger and anger became misery. You were upset—so upset, and you miss Hange (and Ion) so badly. Moving out of your apartment with not even a single word of closure stung so badly as if a part of your soul left and never returned. You would do anything in your power to get back together with them again, but was it a good decision to initiate?

"Especially when they ended it first?" Nifa spoke, rubbing her knees with cold hands as she sat across you on the living room floor. You had asked her if it was a good idea to ever come running back to an ex, to give them a second chance to make things better. "Usually not, but this kind of scenario often plays out for cheaters. Maybe it wouldn't be bad to get back together."

"I second that," Keiji said, seated on the armchair. "If they still don't change, make sure to end it once and for all."

"I wouldn’t initiate it myself," Abel added. Nifa shot him a pointed look, but he continued. "They broke up with you. No offense, but do yourself a favor—don’t go making a fool of yourself chasing after someone when you’re not even sure they want you back. If Hange wants to reconcile, let them do the begging."

You took their advice and followed your heart. You wanted to get back together because you weren't letting a single argument be the end of your relationship, and if Hange didn't want to restore your connection, you at least wanted some form of closure. On top of that, you wanted to see your cat.

So you distracted yourself.

You waited for them to reach out. Right after the breakup, you had blocked Hange's number partly to avoid the inevitable messages, knowing full well they'd try to reach out after a couple of days of silence. But you weren't ready to talk at the time, so their contact remained blocked for an entire week while you sorted through your emotions and sought advice from your friends. Eventually wanting to hear from them, you unblocked their number and left the door open for them to message you, but to your dismay, the days passed in silence and Hange hadn't reached out at all.

You looked through your private messages on different platforms yet you didn't receive any word from them. Your heart sunk at the revelation. Maybe Hange didn't want to talk to you. After all, they hid themselves inside their study when you came back to the apartment the morning after the breakup to pack your things into boxes. Maybe Hange truly didn't want to talk.

Grief consumed you in the days that followed, yet you couldn't bring yourself to reach out, afraid it would only deepen your pain. If nearly three weeks had passed without a word from Hange, it had to mean they were done with you, didn't it? Still, you clung stubbornly to the faint hope that they'd reach out one day. As the silence stretched on, however, the weight of waiting became too much to bear, and you knew you had to do something about it.

You couldn't stand it anymore. Waiting around for nothing just made you more anxious than you already were, so off to Instagram you went, removing everyone in your Close Friends except Hange. You knew they rarely spent time online except for networking sites like LinkedIn and ResearchGate, but you wanted to send some kind of signal without being too obvious.

You had gone out with your roommates the day you posted the story, so if Hange ever decided to open their Instagram after months of inactivity, it wouldn't be too obvious that you posted. When the post went through, you held your breath and ditched your phone to calm your raging nerves.

Will it work? Will they even see it? You thought to yourself, hopeful about the outcomes.

After an hour of waiting, however, you didn't hear anything from them. No view receipt, no new message, nothing. It didn't hurt that much since Hange rarely opened Instagram in the first place, but you were hoping that they would at least have the idea of coming online to check your account. Yet their account showed no activity, the green dot at the side of their profile picture missing every time you checked.

Suddenly, your phone vibrated. A notification went through.

my beloved Heyy... Ion misses you too...

The rest was history. You managed to arrange a meeting with Hange the following day under the guise of meeting Ion, but you hadn't done so without prancing around your room like a panicking idiot. You hadn't told anybody about posting your story in fear of jinxing things, so you replied to Hange with no one's help but yourself.

Now, you sit at the dining table with your roommates, who bicker over Keiji's homemade lunch about a manga series they've been following. You eat your food in silence as you think of a way to tell your friends that you had invited Hange over for a casual meeting in two hours, but you're left dry with ideas.

Eventually, it comes out of your mouth.

"What?" Abel mumbles to himself, freezing midair with the serving spoon and a bowl of chicken in his hands. Keiji drops his fork.

"You did what?!" Nifa screeches, followed by an apology from Abel for her indecency. "Girl, I— sorry, you invited them here? Like, you aren't joking?"

"Listen, I"—you gulp—"I invited them because I wanted to see the cat."

"Never mind the cat. Your ex is still coming," Nifa points out.

"Of course, I know that—"

"Are you sure about this?" Abel asks. Your eyes fall down to your plate. "Just so we're clear, we're not mad at you for having them over."

"I understand," you reply.

"We're worried for you."

"I understand that, too," you say. Abel is silent. "Look, I know it sounds dumb, but I promise I didn't invite them over just like that. I truly did want to see Ion and I wasn't expecting a reply."

"What did you do?" Keiji asks. You tell him about your elaborate plan and he nods his head in approval. "Wow. You have insane luck."

"I do, and I just— I meant it when I said that I didn't expect it, okay? You all know Hange, they're... chronically offline. Not that good with social media."

Nifa snorts. "Yeah, you could say that again. I'm surprised they even knew how to reply to an Insta story." Mashing her chicken with her fork, she clears her throat. "Well, I guess we should get going ASAP."

"You aren't mad?" you ask, surprised.

"I don't see the point. You should live your life the way you want to," she says. "Also, it makes us feel better that you're here because of a misunderstanding and not any of that cheating bullshit."

"I would have ripped their throat out if you had come here for that." Keiji seethes. You giggle.

"Don't worry. You'll never have to."

"Ugh, why am I tearing up?" Nifa dramatically pauses. She lets go of her utensils and leans over to your side. "God, come here for a hug!"

"Group hug!" Keiji rejoices, his hands automatically locating your head and giving you a couple of pats. Abel follows suit, leaning next to you.

"Just don't hurt yourself," he says as he embraces you back. Keiji and Nifa nod.

"I won't. I promise."

SIX.

Your roommates left the apartment after they finished cleaning up. They promised to hang out for a few hours at a nearby café and that they would be one call away in case you needed anything. They trusted that you and Hange won't go batshit crazy at the apartment, but if it ever came down to that, Keiji and Abel promised to arrive in three minutes tops.

The clock ticks by as the silence envelopes the apt. You're sitting on the arm of the couch as you bounce your knee impatiently. It's 1:45 PM, exactly 15 minutes before your scheduled meeting, yet you're already stationed by the door.

You inhale sharply when the doorbell rings.

Standing from the couch, you approach the entrance. You look through the peephole to check the new arrival, and your heart swells upon seeing a patch of orange fur in Hange's arms.

It's now or never.

You open the door.

"Hi. I'm here, like you asked... ha-ha." Hange laughs slowly, the awkwardness sinking in. When silence falls in the air, they look at the cat and offer him to you. "Um, anyway, here's Ion, the cat. Our cat... that we, um, co-parent together— sorry, was that term triggering? Whatever. Anyway, here he is— oh, uhuh, yep— Ion, relax!"

Ion leaps into your arms the moment he realizes that you're in front of him. You look the same as the last time he saw you, your features still recognizable by his little cat brain. Ion is also delighted to see that you aren't crying anymore. When you dashed in and out of the apartment a month ago with tears falling on your face, he couldn't handle the fear and confusion that consumed him.

The moment you catch the cat, you hold him close to your chest and snuggle his head into your shoulder. Ion does so obediently, sniffing you in the process to refresh his memory with your scent. Hange watches the scene unfold in front of them, their heart warming up and a big smile appearing on their face as Ion happily purrs in your hold. Leaning on the door, they allow themselves to get lost at the warm sight in front of them, nostalgic of the domestic life with you and your feline child.

When Ion calms down, you thank Hange sheepishly.

"Well," you start after a few seconds of quiet, "are you just going to stand there?"

"Oh." Hange's eyes shoot up. "You want me to...?"

You sigh. "Just come in."

Hange follows your request and slowly walks in the apartment. As you close the door, they look around to observe. So much has changed since the last time they visited. It's a much bigger space compared to your shared one on the other side of town to house four people, and although your creative touch is initially unrecognizable as opposed to the old days, Hange figures out that if they look hard enough, they can see your touches here and there—the flower vase at the foot of the TV and the little figurines inside the glass shelf by the dining room corner are household articles that only they can recognize in familiarity.

"Are your roommates home?" they ask. You shake your head. "So that leaves the both of us here... alone?"

You sit yourself on the couch and release Ion to let him explore the apartment. Hange cautiously occupies the space beside you, leaving some space in between to make things less awkward.

You bat your eyelashes. Nodding your head, you purse your lips and decide to let your actions do the talking. You still aren't sure if you want to initiate the conversation, so you leave the opportunity for Hange to grab.

And they notice. Taking a deep breath in, Hange decides it's the perfect time to address the elephant in the room.

"I'm sorry," they say softly. Rubbing their hands together, they decide at the last second to ditch their script and just go for it. You listen intently. "I thought about it after you moved out. I've done wrong in the past, but this has to be the pinnacle of my mistakes. I was mad, and I didn't realize the weight of my words until you left... I'm sorry."

"Is that all?"

"No." They shake their head. "Of course not. I would say more, but it gets overwhelming." Hange turns their head to the side and meets your eyes for the first time in a month. You allow them to look. "What do you want to know?"

You shift in your seat.

"Why you broke up with me." Hange looks away when they hear the sadness in your voice. "Why you thought breaking up was the best decision at that time."

"I didn't," they say. "I eventually regretted it. I still do."

"But you just let me be." You frowned. "You didn't... you didn't chase after me, you didn't run after me when I left the next day. I didn't even receive a single message after two weeks—"

"You know I wanted to," Hange cuts you off, looking back at you with a pained expression. "But I had to stop myself. I couldn't start begging you to come back without considering your feelings. What kind of person would that make me, if not even more selfish?"

They lean forward, elbows on their knees as they stare into nothingness. "I was angry. Stubborn, but angry. When you nagged at me, I just— I just wanted you away. I didn't want to be disturbed and it annoyed me when you did because I was working. I did it to push you away even though it wasn't the best decision."

"That was a mistake, Hange," you remark. Hange mutters a quick, "I know," in response. "Did you think that I could do better?"

"You could say that. For the longest time, I never thought of one to be less sufficient than the other. We were great, but I couldn't meet your needs as well as before when things were becoming busy." Hange rests their forehead on the heels of their palms and shuts their eyes. "I wanted focus. I didn't want distractions, and more importantly, I was tired."

Expression turning sour, you say, "Distraction? Our relationship was a distraction, was that it?"

"It," Hange hesitates, "it was what I thought."

Leaning back on the couch, you look away from Hange as their words sink in. Your eyes well up with tears, an irksome occurrence amid the exchange. You promised yourself earlier that you wouldn't cry as you had already done enough in the past few weeks, but they just come, and you make no effort to stop them.

"Even after everything I did?"

Hange heeds the hurt in your voice, prompting them to come closer in response for comfort.

"I-I'm sorry. I promise you, I thought things out when you were gone and I regret it. I really do!"

"A distraction," you choke out. "Ugh, god. I've never heard that one before."

"I'm sorry..." Hange says for the nth time that day. They try to come closer to see your face, but you avoid them. "I didn't have my priorities straight. I always made time for you in the past, but I just got so obsessed and I— I'm so sorry."

No response. You let your tears run while you cry in silence. Hange doesn't know what to do and the panic settles in.

"Hey… I realized how hard it was to live without you, so I'm here to talk it out." You sniff. Hange is starting to crumble. "Baby, I'm a difficult person who had an easier life because of you. In hindsight, you were no distraction. I thought that way because I was an obsessive freak, and I hate myself for hurting you! I've gotten even crankier to the point of drinking Levi's melatonin black tea, and— and—"

Ion suddenly hops on you, finding his normal spot on your lap before you decided to one day disappear from his life. Surprised, you let the cat sit on your lap as he meows anxiously at the tension in the air. Hange breathes in.

"The cat!" They cry. "The cat misses you! He scratches me like I'm a walking cat scratcher every time he demands to see you. He's been wondering where his mother went because she hasn't been home in a month!"

Hange watches Ion purr against your touch, enjoying your company as he realizes that you aren't dead after all, just gone for a very long time. He turns around from his seated position on your lap to lay on his back, his tummy showing and vulnerable to you, a sign of trust toward his owner.

Hange's heart sinks another time when you pull Ion close after wiping your tears away, a bittersweet pang reminding them of the days when they could simply glance at you and the cat, content in the quiet comfort of your shared space as they worked in their study. For what feels like the hundredth time that day, regret wells up, filling the hollow ache in their chest. If it weren't for your presence keeping them anchored, they might have broken down completely right then and there.

"I'm sorry," they choke out as they gently reach for your hand and hold it in theirs, possibly for the final time. They know there isn't a single word, phrase, or sentence out there that can articulate the graveness of their apology, but they hope to get it across as much as they can. "I'm an asshole for coming here in the first place, but if it means getting proper closure and allowing our cat to see you again, I don't regret it. I hope you can forgive me for invading your space."

You sigh. "That's enough, Hange."

"Huh?" They drop your hand in response, afraid of what's to come.

"I get it. You're sorry for what you did." Ion rolls around in your lap, soon standing on his hind legs with his forelegs reaching out to you for a hug. You hug him back. "I'm just, um, I'm just worried now, and I've been worried. How were you? Were you doing okay?"

Hange exhales in relief. "Dear, you didn't have to worry about me."

You frown.

"No, love. I want to worry about you. What kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't?" Hange's heart skips a beat when you call them with the term of endearment. "So? How was life then?"

"I reached the conclusion that being single isn't good for me." They pout. They hold your hand again. "I struggled so much alone. I survived, but surviving isn't living. Life felt empty when I didn't have the sweetest girl making me happy."

"You're just saying that."

"No, I mean it! I love living with you, I love loving you. I know I can do that even when we're not together, but it makes my life so much fuller when you're in the picture."

They look down at Ion, who looks at them from his peripheral vision like he's judging them dramatically.

"You and Ion, of course."

"Mrrao!"

Snuggling with Ion, you kiss his nose. He purrs back in contentment.

"I just... I didn't feel as loved as I used to," you say. "I love living my life knowing that it's you who I end up with, but I must have loved you too hard. Maybe I love you too much because I want to spend more time with you, to always be around you."

"And you aren't selfish for that," Hange declares. "You deserve to be loved for the woman you are and for the love you give. You did so much for me, yet I didn't pay you back. You had every right to complain. Now that you have, I hope to make things right and compensate you for all the times I acted so dumbly. I'll make time for you again and I'll take care of myself better—I promise."

"But how do I know that you're telling the truth?" you whisper. Second chances are hard to come by. To give an ex this special chance to make things right doesn't happen to just anyone, and it rarely even works out the second time around. What is Hange willing to do for you when you've already done so much for them? "Tell me what you're willing to do. How do I know, Hange?"

"Because I called off everything I had to do today just to come here." Hange smiles a bit. That's your cue to realize that they did, indeed, skip work today just to visit you and iron things out. It's a Monday afternoon, and Hange could have simply taken a half-day shift, but they decided against it entirely. "And, as a matter of fact, I would do it again, and again, and again."

"Oh, Hange, don't waste your—"

"No, no! You got the wrong idea!" they exclaim. "I'm not going to take the entire week off just to prove a point briefly and go back to being a douchebag the following week. I figured that, out of everything, temperance is a virtue that I should work on. I want to be there for you when you need me and I will be there."

Your tears have dried at this point, having left a puffy texture on your eyes. Hange carefully massages your hand in theirs as you find the right words to say.

"Promise me this, Hange."

"I promise."

"Then kiss me if you want to seal it."

With a big grin on their face, Hange leans forward and wraps their hands around your body, laughing softly as Ion looks up in between the both of you with curious eyes. Hange pats his head, mumbles a quick apology to the cat, and kisses you gently with that silly grin still on their face. You kiss them back slowly, heart warming up to the sweet moment of having your partner back into your life to complete your little family of three.

Hange pulls away, but they stay close to you, their hands cupping your face. "I missed you so badly."

"I missed you, too. Being away from you killed me more than being with you all the time. Believe it or not, it felt more toxic." You sigh. "I want to move back in, but you need to give me a few days to… well, process things."

"Of course, take your time as needed. I can't just steal you a second time from your roommates, you know?" Hange jokes as they stroke your cheek.

"I stole you from Erwin and Levi," you deadpan, "but yes, it should be fine. Just give me time to say goodbye and pack my things."

Hange looks over to the side. A part of them feels guilty for taking you away from your roommates so easily. "You don't have to move in right away if you still want to stay here for a bit, you know? I respect your decision if you think it's too fast."

You shake your head cutely. "Cut that out! We need to pay our bills soon and I have to cuddle Ion in bed!"

"Huh? But what about me?" They frown out of jealousy. Ion yawns, like he's telling them to get over it. "Cheeky cat."

"You'll get even better cuddles." You giggle. Hange laughs along, completely missing the innuendo. They're just happy to hear you giggling again. "To start, would you like a complete family hug? Maybe you'd even want to stay for a bit. The guys won't be going home unless I tell them to—"

"Are you joking? I would love to!"

If you found Hange clingy before you broke up, then you certainly find their behavior ten times more excessive now. Upon your request, they rest their body on yours, placing their head on your chest and feeling the rise and fall of your calm breaths. They pet the cat next to them, whom Hange believes to have smiled as well when he notices your physical contact. They're right—Ion is happy. He's satisfied seeing that his two owners are back together, and that neither of you are crying anymore.

As they lay on your chest, Hange lets their mind go numb. They lay in silence, keeping their delighted reactions to themselves when you would fiddle with their hair or play with their fingers. The moment is spent in quietude, but it's perfect—the ideal time for Hange to solemnly swear to the gods, the transcendent beings, to themselves, most especially, that they will never let you go.

There are only so many people in the world that they get along with, let alone be so open to the idea of loving. Hange vows to stay true to their words, to treat you better—kiss you better—as you have always deserved.

-

ctto for the cat photo (via pinterest)

also i saw this tweet while writing and i just NFDHBFHD THIS IS SO ACCURATELY HANGE IN THIS FIC LMAO

[barelyahumanbeing]

The Strange Night at the Convenience Store

Pairing Humanoid monster x reader

Plot You moved to that place recently and already had a favorite convenience store. There was nothing special about, until you had to go there at night and cross into a peculiar version of it... with also a peculiar attendant

Warnings: None

N. A. So this is my first story for this blog, and I'm so excited with this new project! I have plans of bringing other formats besides lists like this one, so please tell me what type of content you feel more comfortable with 🥰 I'll also create a masterlist with all my content separated by creature, title and other categories in the future, so everything will be kept in order. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this little story and feel free to share your thoughts!

🥀 You moved to that city a few weeks ago and were still adapting to your new routine. It was the first time you were going to live alone, so you were excited and scared at the same time

🥀 Among all the things you had to manage by yourself now, it was discovering the supermarkets and shops that existed near your place, and which of them had the best products and prices. One day, you found a convenience store on a gas station located on a block behind the one where your building was, which sold snacks and essential items at a good price. It quickly became your favorite store, and you went there on every opportunity you had

🥀 Thing is that you always went there by day, so you never needed to leave your apartment by night when you wanted a good treat

🥀 However, there was this time when you forgot to shop at day, so you only found out your pantry was empty when it was almost 21pm

🥀 You sighed. Your movie night would have to start later than you planned

🥀 You left home promising you were going back to its comfort soon

🥀 You used to cross an alley right behind your building to shorten the way to the store, but you didn’t want to use it at night, so you took an entire walk around the block.

🥀 When you were about to cross the street, you noticed a change in your surroundings. The street, the buildings and cars were... different. Old. It was like you were in the same place, but in a past version of it. Even the few people you saw on the sidewalks wore strange clothes: they weren’t retro clothes like the ones you used to see in popular shops, but real, old clothes, though they were in good conditions, as if they were bought recently. The people were strange as well, but you weren’t sure about why you thought that

🥀 You didn’t understand what was going on, but you decided to pretend everything was alright and enter the convenience store. It was better than making a scene and attract unwanted attention

🥀 It was like entering another dimension: it was the perfect scenario of those convenience store of the movies produced in the 1980s, but realistic… and with an unsettling aura. Maybe it was the green neon lights that came out of nowhere, casting a sinister glow over the objects and colored walls. You saw a calendar and went there to see the date. You held your breath: the sheet was new, but it was from February 1984

🥀 So not only you traveled to a different universe, you also traveled back in time

🥀 The store was empty, but this didn’t bring you the relief you were expecting: the idea of being alone at night in a distorted reality was far too scary

🥀 As you walked through the corridors, you observed the racks and found the strangest things, from weird foods with even weider flavors, objects which use you couldn’t imagine and other things you were unable to identify.

🥀 Well, unlike you imagined, you weren’t really alone in that place: a voice called from the bottom of the place. It was a male, duplicated voice that spoke polite words in human language, but little it had to do with humanity

🥀 “Good evening, Miss. What can I do for you?”

🥀 You froze in your spot. The voice was talking to you. The person – or whatever was that – already saw you. What should you do next?

🥀 Since you didn’t give any verbal response, the voice spoke again

🥀 “Hey, it looks like you’re lost. Do you need help?”

🥀 In fact, you needed help, but you weren’t sure if you could seek for any help in there with an unknown being... Still, you decided to risk it. It wasn’t like you had many choices

🥀 “I do... I think I ended up in the wrong address, and I’d like to know how I get out of here”

🥀 You said those things while approaching the counter. When you realized what you were doing, you were already standing before it, staring at the voice’s owner

🥀 He was a man, or something like that: a humanoid individual dressed in the same style of the people you saw outside, but in his case it was the typical attendant uniform of the movies; he was taller than any human you’ve seen in your life, being able to touch the ceiling in case he raised his arms; his skin was of a dark shade of green, and most of the visible skin was covered in a discreet layer of even darker hair, and the same color was seen in the thick strands on his head. His eyes, resembling gold and contrasting with the green of his body, glowed under the neon lights when he laid them on you. You comforted yourself thinking it was just a gleam of curiosity

🥀 To be honest, you were curious about him too. First, it was obvious that he wasn’t wearing a costume: the green, the gold and all that hair were too real to deceive one’s eyes. Second, there was no way one could fake that height: you barely reached his chest. Besides, in the middle of that extraordinary situation, you realized you weren’t sensing any threat coming from him; you felt like you were in the presence of a common person, which only difference lied in his appearance. It was like a weird dream, except that you knew you were awake

🥀 He spoke for the third time, and you confirmed the origin of the voice. It vibrated inside you now that you heard it closer

🥀 “Yeah, I see you don’t belong here. I’d be scared if was you, too”

🥀 That was said in a playful tone, and you saw the long fangs on his mouth when he opened it to smile. You let out a nervous laugh

🥀 “I don’t understand what’s going on... I went to a convenience store near my place, but tonight things went... differently. And now I’m here”

🥀 The creature made a "Hm" and thought of this for a moment. The absence of confusion in his traits showed you that, apparently, the case wasn't as unusual to him as it was to you. And, in fact, his reply let it clear

🥀 "It used to happen more often in the past. It's been a while since the last person from your side ended up here, but it's no big deal. We don't know why or how exactly it happens, but sometimes you just cross the door without noticing. Usually they get scared when they realize they're lost, but you don't seem scared at all"

🥀 He approached the wooden board as to observe you from close. You were apprehensive, but didn't step back

🥀 "Still, I'm sure it's your first time here", he continued, "I don't remember seeing your face before"

🥀 You crossed your arms in front of your chest. That was your time to smile

🥀 "You always remember people's faces?"

🥀 “Not always, but the most interesting ones never escape my sight”

🥀 You spent a considerable time staring at him, measuring those words. Was that his way to say you were pretty or, at least, peculiar? What was even considered pretty in that place? Whatever the answer, the whole thing was unbelievable: a non human individual was flirting with you?

🥀 "Well, I think you haven't seen much people from my side, then", you commented, "I'm pretty common among my people. I don't think you'd remember me anyway"

🥀 The glow in his eyes came back, stronger as he leaned over the board. The fangs seemed to glow in his smile

🥀 "I work at a convenience store, dear. I've seen more people than you could count, and I'm telling you: my eyes and my memory work well together"

🥀 Your smile faded a bit, less because you didn’t know how to respond than by embarrassment. Your hand brushed your hair behind your war before you could stop it

🥀 "If you say so..."

🥀 Fortunately for you, he made you a favor and changed the conversation's direction

🥀 "So, since you're my only client at the moment, guess you can have my undivided attention. What do you need for tonight? Coke? Snacks? Something else?"

🥀 You laughed at the casual tone after such an intense dialogue about remembering faces

🥀 "I need something for a movie night. What do you have for me?"

🥀 "Tell me what you want"

🥀 "I want you to surprise me"

Tell me if you want Part 2!

[leighsartworks216]

Antiseptic and Latex

Zayne x gn!Reader

Kinda related to Protocore Syndrome in that it could possibly be that same MC, but that's the only connection to it really

Warnings: hospitals, established relationship

Word Count: 593

Main Masterlist

Love and Deepspace Masterlist

AO3

Tag List Form

Zayne feels the exhaustion seep deep into his bones. His fingers ache and his back is stiff, yet sleep continues to elude him. He knows why, of course. After all, most surgeons would collapse after a 10-hour surgery, even with the rotation of personnel that had to be done to avoid mistakes being made. Most surgeons, however, aren’t also dating another surgeon.

He blearily checks the time on his phone. He couldn’t read his watch if he tried, eyes strained from looking at fine details and precision techniques for hours on end. Your operation should be finishing soon, if all was going well. You’d been at the hospital all day, from 6 o’clock in the morning, prepping so you could start the operation in time to be done by 8. It’s unlikely you’ve eaten anything more than granola bars today. He’s not doing much better.

The little room - provided by the hospital for situations exactly like this - is bare, packed only with the essentials: a bed, a mini fridge, and an entire pantry of snacks. The mattress is firm, the pillows are flat, and Zayne can only imagine how amazing his worn out body would feel in his own bed.

Time passing is lost on him as he drifts in and out of consciousness. Minutes feel like hours, distorted in the haze of partial-dreams. The only thing he’s really aware of is the gentle, barely-there knock on the door before it opens. The familiar, equally as exhausted sigh, and the person crawling into the bed with him.

His arms automatically wrap around you, drawing you into him just as you collapse into his chest. His heart beats steadily in your ear through his rumpled dress shirt. His tie is who-knows-where. His lab coat hangs on the back of the door next to yours.

You practically melt into him. Neither of you are exceptionally touchy people, save for moments like these when it’s all you seem to crave. When his fingers scratch sleepily at your scalp, and his hand trails mindlessly under your shirt to find bare skin. When you go through the momentous effort of dragging yourself further up until you can press your face into his warm neck, and tangle your legs so one of his is hooked over your thigh and woven between your calves.

“How’d yours go?” you mumble almost incoherently against him.

He hums, drawing in the strength to speak while his thoughts are so sluggish. “There was a minor hiccup, but it was inconsequential… They’ll live.” He presses his nose into your hair. It smells like antiseptic and latex, with a faint hint of your shampoo. “Yours?”

You breathe him in deeply. Antiseptic and latex, with the minor essence of his body wash. “Same…” You yawn. “What’re we gonna do for breakfast?”

It’s still only 8:12 at night. There are several hours between now and the morning, hours that hopefully include going home to your real bed and taking a long shower. But you both know by now that it is extremely unlikely you’ll stir anytime before 9am.

He sighs softly against your hair. His fingers slow their ministrations against your scalp. He’s on the precipice. You’re quickly trailing after. “Hmmm… There’s the diner, nearby…”

You hum, words slurring together. “Sounds good… G’night…”

He doesn’t get the words out before he finally succumbs to the sweet temptress of slumber. You pull an arm from around him to rest your hand over his heart. The soothing rhythm is like a lullaby, lulling you slowly but surely into rest. 

---

Tag List:

@the-golden-jhope @huen1ngk41 @armycaratlover @cheesemachine44 @nyx2021

[inmyglowupera]

Mindset Shift #3: You Need to Learn How to Plan and Cook Your Meals—There’s No Way Around It!

Did You Know?

Studies show that for the same number of calories consumed, people eating processed foods are more likely to experience weight gain compared to those eating whole foods.

Here’s why this happens:

Thermic Effect of Food (TEF):

• Whole foods like lean proteins, fruits, and vegetables require more energy to digest, absorb, and metabolize.

• Processed foods are often pre-digested (e.g., refined carbs), meaning your body spends less energy breaking them down, storing more as fat.

• A study published in Food & Nutrition Research (2010) found that a meal of whole foods increased energy expenditure by 50% compared to a meal of processed foods of the same calorie count.

Satiety and Nutrient Density:

• Whole foods are richer in fiber, protein, and water, which keep you fuller longer.

• Processed foods are often calorie-dense but nutrient-poor, leading to overeating.

Blood Sugar Spikes:

• Processed foods often cause quick spikes and crashes in blood sugar, triggering hunger and cravings sooner than whole foods would.

Learning to Cook Can Be Daunting, But Here’s How to Start:

Start Small: Focus on mastering 2–3 simple recipes you enjoy. Build confidence by perfecting these before moving on to more.

Meal Prep Basics: Plan meals for the week, batch-cook staples like grilled chicken or roasted veggies, and keep your pantry stocked with essentials like spices, whole grains, and healthy fats.

Keep It Simple: Use minimal ingredients and techniques at first. For example, a stir-fry with fresh veggies, protein, and a simple sauce can be quick and nutritious.

Get Curious About Food:

To make better food choices, it’s important to read labels and understand nutritional information. Here’s how:

Start with Ingredients: The fewer the ingredients, the better. Avoid items with a long list of unrecognizable additives.

Watch for Hidden Sugar and Sodium: Processed foods often sneak in sugar under names like maltose or high-fructose corn syrup. Check for sodium content, especially in packaged meals.

Focus on Nutrient Density: Look for foods high in protein, fiber, and healthy fats while being lower in refined carbs.

Be Wary of “Low Calorie/Low Sugar/Low Fat” Options:

Many “low” options can have unintended consequences:

1. Increased Hunger:

• Artificial sweeteners or fat replacements often leave you unsatisfied, leading to overeating.

• A study in Obesity Reviews (2010) showed that artificial sweeteners might increase appetite in some individuals.

2. Insulin Imbalance: Sugar substitutes can trigger insulin release even without calories, causing blood sugar instability.

3. Hidden Additives: Low-calorie or low-fat foods often replace natural fats or sugars with artificial additives that don’t support your health.

Reframe your mindset about cooking: it’s not a chore—it can be a fun meditative self-care experience.

Cooking engages all five senses, requiring focus on the present moment, which can have a calming effect on your nervous system. Here’s why:

1. Sensory Stimulation:

• The aroma of spices, the sound of sizzling pans, the texture of fresh ingredients, the sight of vibrant colors, and the taste of the final dish all ground you in the moment.

• Sensory activities like these can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which promotes relaxation and reduces stress.

2. Mindfulness in Action:

• Cooking requires concentration on specific steps—chopping, measuring, mixing—which can act as a form of mindfulness, quieting racing thoughts.

• A study in Frontiers in Psychology (2014) found that mindfulness-based activities, even in small doses, improve mood and reduce anxiety.

3. Creative Outlet: Experimenting with flavors and presentation can turn cooking into a form of self-expression, which enhances mental well-being.

4. Sense of Accomplishment: Completing a meal, especially one you’ve planned and cooked yourself, fosters a sense of pride and satisfaction, boosting confidence.

All of this to say, making time for cooking and learning how to do it is not an option to lead a healthy lifestyle. Find cooking influencers who inspire you to try new recipes and offer advice for beginners. Get a beginner friendly cooking book with recipes you like and make it a journey to complete as many recipes during the year. You’ll soon recognize the common patterns in cooking and will be able to trust your abilities to nourish yourself in no time!

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I am still very confused. When I needed to use a food pantry, their public website listed the documents that we needed to bring to verify eligibility. Is it considered unethical for them to have done that on a page visible to people not applying for food? I am having trouble understanding how having a list of requirements to verify eligibility that is publicly viewable is harmful to recipients. I don’t understand how m, for example, someone outside the food pantry knowing that clients are expected to bring identification, proof of residence, and proof of income is harmful to me.

I’m probably misunderstanding something

Food banks ARE considered unethical when they means test, yes. And most food banks only do so in letter, not in spirit for that reason. Everyone in aid work is aware that forcing recipients to "prove need" [even just to staff] is a massive barrier to effective resource distribution, which is why the food banks in my town keep off-record bags of supplies for people they can't document in their formal records or give funded supplies to. I have NEVER walked away from a food bank empty handed, even times when I showed up without documentation or explicitly endorsing criteria we both knew would exclude me from official supplies. Many food banks are required by state law [against all in-field policy recommendations and field research mind you] to means test anyway, and that is an acknowledged and discussed barrier.

You may notice, as time goes on, a greater shift AWAY from food banks and TOWARDS food fridges over the next few years for exactly this reason. Food banks are anonymous to access (standing refrigerated pantries that are not monitored except for restock and sanitation needs), do not means test, and do include ANY eliminating criteria for "right to use". These programs tend to report SUBSTANTIALLY lower food insecurity lingering after implementation than your more traditional food bank.

Essentially, the law and the populas repeatedly require aid organizations to engage in unethical and ineffective recipient dynamics, not because they are acceptable, but because they are mechanisms of control. They control who is allowed a safety net, and allow socio-political bias and prejudice to exist in the gaps with full plausible deniability, replicating and reinforcing the very factors that create resource scarcity/insecurity in the first place. For generations now aid workers have been carefully picking away at the idea that means testing is ANYTHING but harmful and it is truly not something I will tolerate being reinforced by people who want to position themselves as functionally progressive.

[exhausted-archivist]

Informal Thoughts on Universal Pantry Staples in Thedas

Yes, I'm thinking about food again. So, part of what I’m working on for the Thedosian food project I have is figuring out universal pantry staples for Thedas. I am largely working from canon, but I am also working from a watsonian perspective on what isn’t named canon. Which can be really hard because I have to look at BioWare and not try to explain why a tropical environment would not have an abundance of cherries, or how certain foods don't ship well even in modern terms and thus, no, Ferelden likely shouldn't have access to tomatoes. But hey, I'm working on the suspension of disbelief and trying to figure out how it could work in a world with magic, but where magic is feared and typically reserved for luxuries.

I also didn't include things that would spoil easy, such as: cherries, grapes, lemons, oranges, plums, tomatoes, ect. Essentially anything with a high water content that would spoil easy. But are also super common around Thedas. Mostly because when I think pantry, I think long term storage. I also tried to keep out dairy products and eggs. But there is a way to keep butter for prolonged periods of time, so it got in by a slim technicality.

A quick note: when entering the suggested or speculated portion of these listings, this is not accounting for all economic levels because to do so would mean next to nothing was universal.

Additionally, when it comes to spices, we know that the Avvar value "lowland" spices heavily and use them for special occasions. However, because they aren't staples I was hesitant to include them in these list but opted to do so for no other reason than an idea that if they can get to the Avvar, they are likely commonly available else where. So spices are marked with a *

The canonically stated staples

These are actually pretty sparse. They aren't typically directly called out, but these few are, and so they have their own little section. Outside of that, well it is mostly suggestion.

Barley (At times mentioned to be specifically Fereldan)

Elfroot

Grease

Lentils

Onions

Wheat

Some canonically suggested universal pantry staples due to their common appearance in recipes, use in abundance, use in hard times/as rations, and seen prolifically in-game:

Allspice*

Almonds

Apples

Basil (dried or fresh)

Bay Leaves*

Black Pepper* (Coarse and finely ground)

Butter (typically goat, but cows as well)

Cabbage

Carrots

Cheese

Chocolate

Cinnamon* (ground, whole stick, ect)

Cloves*

Cumin* (crushed, ground, grated, ect)

Dill Seeds*

Dried Beans

Dried Berries (currants, cranberries, raisins, ect.)

Dried Meat

Dried Peas

Fennel Seed*

Flour (typically wheat)

Garlic

Ginger

Ham

Honey

Jam

Leeks

Mace

Mint

Mustard Seed*

Nutmeg*

Oil (not specified)

Oregano (dried or fresh)

Parsley/Mild green herb

Pickled Vegetables

Potatoes

Salt (historically Orlesians in the highlands salted a dragon worth of meat on an annual basis)

Salted Meat

Squashes (Pumpkin and others)

Sugar (typically from sugar cane)

Thyme

Turnips

Vanilla

Vinegar

Wine (Most common seems to be red wine)

If you think I missed anything or have any recommendations or thoughts of your own, please do share! I would love to hear any thoughts on what you think would likely be staples in the pantries of Thedas. If you need to know what is available, you can check out this post I have listing all the flora currently mentioned in Thedas.

[fxckadoodledoomunson]

Shopping Trolley |One-Shot|

Summary: While you look after your sick grandmother, Eddie is tasked to help with her shopping. The only problem is, his van being repaired, so your grandmother gives him something to help him carrying her shopping.

Warnings: swearing, Jason being a dick.

Inspired by this deleted scene from This Country.

You’ve spent the last couple of days, looking after your grandmother. She came down with a cold, and as she had no one else living with her, you had to stay at her place to take care of her. Your boyfriend, Eddie would pop round to check in on you both.

“She’s still feeling poorly,” you told him, as you watched her sitting up on her bed, watching television. You turned to him, asking him, “I don’t want to ask this, but could you help getting her groceries? I don’t want to leave her on her own.”

“Sweetheart,” Eddie began to reply. “I would if I could, but my van’s still in the shop, and it won’t be fixed until next week. What about Harrington or Wheeler? Can’t you ask them?”

“If only. Steve’s got dates lined up this week, and Nancy’s working. Plus, they’re both taking turns with driving the kids.”

“I have something for you,” your Grandmother chimed in. “By the pantry in the kitchen.” You and Eddie went into the kitchen, and spotted a two wheeled black shopping trolley by the pantry.

“You can use it for the shopping,” your grandmother called out, before she began coughing.

A self-conscious Eddie stared at the trolley. It was bad enough that the most of the townspeople thought that he was a freak, but a freak with an elderly woman’s trolley? People would probably tease him more.

“Uh…sweetheart,” he began to tell you, “I’m not sure if I-“

“Eddie,” you interjected, as you cupped his face. “If you’re worried about what other people are going to think, ignore them.”

Eddie gazed at you, when you pleaded, “Please? It’s only until she’s well enough.”

Eddie shifted his eyes to your grandmother, who was blowing her nose.

He sighed, and turned his attention to you, telling you, “I’ll do it. But you owe me for this.”

You smiled, as you pulled Eddie in for a passionate peck. “Thank you. You’re the best boyfriend ever.”

Eddie blushed, as you moved your hands away from him, and you grabbed a shopping list from the counter, giving it to him, telling him, “Here are the essentials. I’ll get you some money.”

The moment Eddie got on the bus, he could feel everyone staring at him. As he went to find a seat, he heard the bus driver snicker. Eddie glared as he sat down. All through the journey, Eddie heard some people whispering. Every time he turned, they would stop. Eddie turned back and sighed, before muttering, “Ignore them, Munson. You’re doing it until she’s well enough.”

After Eddie got off the bus in town, he watched the bus drive by as he flipped off the gawkers, before pulling the trolley to the supermarket.

A moment later, Eddie was walking through the aisles with one hand pulling the trolley, another pushing shopping cart while holding the list in his mouth. Each time, Eddie would grab the list from his mouth, checking what else your grandmother needed, before clenching it with his teeth, as he continued his quest in searching for more essentials.

After finding everything your grandmother needed, he waited in the queue when it was finally his turn to be served.

As soon as the cashier started ringing through the items, Eddie started packing the trolley, starting with the carton of eggs and the loaf of bread when an old lady went up to him, and told him, “Oh no, you shouldn’t do that.”

At first, Eddie thought that she was scolding him for just shopping, but then, he heard her say, “The eggs and the loaf should go in last.”

He watched her take out some of the items from the trolley, as she sweetly told him, “Let me help you pack properly.”

As she helped pack the items in the trolley, Eddie softly spoke, “Thank you, ma’am.”

“Please, call me Elspeth,” she kindly replied, as she continued to pack everything. Eddie smiled, as he introduced himself.

After he had paid the cashier, Eddie pulled the full trolley, as he and Elspeth, who was pulling her own trolley, left the supermarket. “Are you okay?” Eddie asked. “I can pull it for you if you want.”

“There’s no need, dear,” Elspeth politely replied. “I may be an old lady, but I can still pull a trolley.” She then mentioned that when she was his age, she used to walk and carry things everywhere.

“You must’ve been really good at gym,” Eddie chuckled, making Elspeth giggle. Suddenly, Eddie saw the bus at the stop. “Shit,” Eddie muttered, when the doors began to shut. As the bus started to drive off, Eddie had let go of the trolley and ran towards it, as he cried out smacking the back of the bus, “Hey! Hey wait!”

However, the bus carried on driving. Eddie coughed, waving the smoke away, as he muttered, “Jesus H Christ.”

“Well, luckily you didn’t run with your trolley,”Elspeth called out, making Eddie turn to her. “Otherwise, you would’ve ended up with a sticky trolley.”

Eddie ran back to her when she asked, “When’s the next bus?”

Eddie checked his watch, replying, “In an hour.”

He sighed, as he looked around the street, when Elspeth told him, “I’ll tell you what. While you wait for the next bus, why don’t you join me and the girls for some cake and coffee?”

“Uh…”Eddie began to hesitate. “That’s very kind of you, but…do you really want to be seen with…someone like me?”

“Like what, dear?”

“Well…a freak.”

Elspeth scoffed, “Nonsense, who calls you that?”

“Well…everyone. Actually, not everyone. My girlfriend and her grandmother don’t, or my uncle. Oh, and my friends, well they’re also called freaks-“

Elspeth raised her hand to stop him rambling, before telling him, “Well, freak or not, I’d like you to join us. Besides, you can tell us about Metallica or Dio or whoever you kids are into these days.”

Eddie cocked his eyebrow, as Elspeth giggled, “Don’t be surprised that I know who they are. I have a grandson in Utah who’s a metalhead too.”

Eddie laughed, as Elspeth took his spare hand and took him inside the cafe.

Half an hour later, Eddie was happily chatting and drinking coffee with Elspeth and her friends.

Eddie told them that he was helping your grandmother with her shopping while she was still recovering.

“Oh, you’re such a good boy,” Elspeth’s friend, Agnes gushed. “Your girlfriend is a very lucky woman.”

Eddie blushed, when one of the other women, Eloise asked, “I wonder if Thomas will come today?”

“He said that he’s coming after church,” Elspeth replied, before sipping her coffee.

“Thomas? Is that one of your grandsons?” Eddie asked the women, who giggled.

“No, he’s part of our outing group,” Elspeth explained, as Eddie started eating his cake. “After his wife, Clara passed away, he was alone.”

“Well, he has his son and his family, but they have their own lives,” the other lady, Eileen interjected.

“As his wife was our close friend, we convinced him to join us,” Elspeth told Eddie. “We knew that she wouldn’t have wanted him to be stuck at home.”

“Wow, that’s really nice,” Eddie responded, when Elspeth suddenly grabbed a napkin with one hand and his chin with another , as she said, “You’ve got cream on your face.”

Eddie chuckled, while Elspeth wiped his face.

Suddenly, they heard a male voice cackle, “Look boys, the freak’s got new groupies.”

Eddie turned to find Jason and his lackeys stepping inside the cafe.

As Elspeth moved her hands away, Jason and his friends walked up to him.

“So, Munson,” Andy began to mock. “Does your girlfriend know about you cheating on her with a cougar-?”

Elspeth cleared her throat, giving the team a stern look. Jason’s eyes widened when he saw her sitting with her arms crossed. “Oh,” Jason exclaimed. “Hi, Mrs Grayson, how are yo-?”

“Oh don’t give me that, Jason, ” Elspeth retorted, while the other ladies glared at Jason and his goons. “Does your grandfather know how you treat your classmate?”

“Grandfather?” Eddie asked.

“Stay out of this, freak,” Jason retorted.

“Don’t speak to him like that,” Elspeth scolded.

“What’s going on here?” An older man called out, as he slowly walked towards the table with his walking stick.

Jason anxiously turned to him, as he stammered, “Oh, uh…it’s n-nothing, grandpa-“

“It wasn’t nothing, Thomas,” Agnes interjected.

“Wait!” A surprised Eddie exclaimed, before he pointed at the old man, asking him, “You’re Carver’s grandfather?”

“If you’re referring to Jason, then yes. I am,” Thomas replied, before asking, “So, what’s he done?”

Jason nervously chuckled, “It’s nothing-“

“He was being horrible to this nice young man here,” Elspeth interjected as she lightly patted Eddie’s shoulder.

“Is that so?” Thomas asked as he glared at his grandson.

“I-it was a j-joke,” Jason stammered, before turning to his friends. “Right boys?”

They nodded when Thomas scolded, “Joke or not, you should know better than not to treat someone disrespectfully. Now I want you boys to apologise to him.”

“Wait, but-“ Jason began to protest.

“Now!” Thomas interrupted.

Jason huffed, crossing his arms, saying in a spiteful tone, “Sorry.”

The women and Thomas glared at him, as he smacked his grandson in the back of the head, telling him to apologise properly.

Jason sighed, before apologising properly, “We’re sorry for being horrible to you.”

The other boys began to apologise as well, making Eddie smirk.

“Now,” Thomas began to tell Jason, “Be a good lad and get some drinks for the ladies and…”

Thomas turned to Eddie, who gave him his name. Jason nodded, before reluctantly heading to the counter to get the drinks.

After leaving the cafe, Elspeth and the rest of the ladies waited with Eddie at the bus stop, making sure that he got on.

“You don’t have to wait with me,” Eddie told them.

“Oh, we don’t mind,” Elspeth began to reply, before asking her friends, “Do we girls?”

The rest of the ladies commented that they also didn’t mind, and that they enjoyed his company.

“Will you be joining us again?” Agnes asked.

Before Eddie could reply, the bus pulled over to the stop.

“Well, this is me,” Eddie said, as the doors opened.

While some of the passengers we’re getting off, Eddie said goodbye to them, before thanking for looking after him.

“It was our pleasure, love,” Eileen replied.

As Eddie got on with the trolley, Elspeth called out to him.

“Yes?” Eddie replied, as he turned around.

“We left a little something for you in your trolley,” Elspeth replied.

Eddie thanked her and the other women, before getting on the bus and found a seat. The ladies waved goodbye as the bus drove off, with Eddie waving back at them.

A few moments later, Eddie pulled the trolley to your grandmother’s door and knocked on it.

“Just a minute!” He heard you shout, before you opened the door.

“Hey, you made it back,” you greeted him with a kiss, before he stepped inside. “You’re later than expected.”

“Sorry, I missed the bus,” Eddie explained. “I had to wait an hour for the next one.”

You took the trolley off him, and wheeled it into the kitchen, as Eddie asked how your grandmother was feeling.

“She’s still got a bad cough, but she’s getting a bit better,” you replied, as you opened the trolley and started unpacking. As you placed the items on the kitchen counter, Eddie started to put them away when you picked up a piece of paper. “Eddie?” You spoke up, making him turn to look at you.

“Yes sweetheart?” He asked.

You held up the paper and asked, smirking, “Why do you have Mrs Grayson’s number?”

A week or so later, your grandmother was feeling a little bit better and Eddie finally got his van back. But he still used the shopping trolley to help get your grandmother’s shopping, especially as it gave him a reason to catch up with Elspeth and the others.

One day, Eddie was gossiping with them while waiting at the bus stop with them until their bus arrived, unaware that you and Robin were watching him from the video store.

“I wish I had my camera,” you giggled.

“Maybe Stevie should join them,” Robin snickered. “It might help him find his own Mrs Robinson.”

The two of you cackled, whilst spying on Eddie.

“Very funny,” Steve sarcastically replied, as he stopped typing and got off his stool. “Are you two gonna keep spying on Munson, or are you-?”

Steve paused for a moment, as he watched Eddie laughing, while one of the ladies, who was wearing a pink wool hat, pointed at the store. Steve gaped, realising who he was talking to.

“Oh shit,” Steve exclaimed, causing you and Robin to turn to him, looking confused.

“What?” You asked.

Instead of answering you, Steve swung the door open, as he said, “She better not have told him about Mr Snuggles.”

You and Robin watched Steve run across the street towards Eddie and the pink wool hat lady, as you asked, “Is that his-?”

“Yep! His grandmother,” Robin confirmed, as you both watched Steve covering a laughing Eddie’s mouth with his hand, while his grandmother slapped his hand away, whilst scolding him.

“I guess she told Eddie about Mr Snuggles,” Robin said, before the pair of you laughed.

[thebawdybaldurian]

Rookcanis Scraps: Courtship Dance

Some sweet Mourn Watch Rook/Lucanis fluff for Xmas! This is my version of the shopping trip/coffee meeting quest, minus Illario. I also wanted to include a cute little mention inspired by this tweet, where Spite will eventually shake his tail feathers. Some of the story beats call back to other scraps from Wanksgiving and Casino Night.

Content and Warnings: Self doubt, mentions of thalassophobia/acrophobia/virginity, social anxiety, panic attacks, digestive woes, demonic peeping.

Pairing: Femme Rook x Lucanis…with input from Spite

The only thing on Lucanis’ mind at the moment was coffee. Not just because he was craving a fresh, steaming cup, but because he was starting to nod off standing up. The last thing he needed was to fall asleep and give Spite the opportunity to take over again. The demon had no concept of boundaries, especially when it came to Maene. Lucanis couldn’t bear another incident like yesterday. He didn’t want to imagine what would’ve happened if Mae had woken up and found him jerking off over her. Lucanis knew he had to sleep eventually, but he first needed a way to keep Spite from getting access to her. He knew the demon could only stray so far if he was paying attention, so staying in the dining hall as much as possible would be vital. He could bring books over from the library when needed and perhaps rig up some sort of lock on the pantry door.

He finished his grocery list in the late afternoon, according to his time piece, though it was always dusk at this strange Lighthouse. Mae and Harding had just finished up the dirty dishes from lunch, drying their shirtsleeves by the fire and giggling with each other. “I need to head back to Treviso for a few essentials,” Lucanis announced, tucking his list in his waistcoat. “I have no idea what you all have been subsisting on before I got here.”

“Mostly just dried meat and tea,” Harding remarked with a chuckle. “And Neve has some enchanted box of fried fish that she picks at.”

Lucanis made a face, which made Mae giggle. “It’s not as bad as it sounds,” she laughed. “It stays fairly fresh…according to her. I think it smells awful regardless. I don’t eat anything that spends all of its time in water.”

“Can I bring you back anything?” He asked, trying not to show how much her laugh sent his heart racing. “That isn’t fish?”

“Would you…actually mind if I came along?” Mae asked shyly. “I have some…personal items I need to replenish.”

“I told you to take a chance on going ‘warden’ style,” Harding remarked, causing Mae to blush deeply. “I don’t think I will ever go back to wearing small clothes.”

“Uhh, yes of course…you’ll want to…pick those out yourself,” Lucanis tried not to stammer thinking about Mae’s underwear. “Shall we?”

“Let me just change my shoes,” Mae nodded, her adorable toes wiggling in her Dalish slippers.

She disappeared to her room for a moment, slipping on some boots before giving herself a quick pep talk in the mirror of her wardrobe. “Don’t talk to him about corpses or death rituals. Don’t rub your neck when he does that little half smile. Just keep your hands in your coat pockets so you don’t overly gesticulate when you talk…” she sighed, looking at herself in the mirror. She pinched her cheeks to make them less pale and reached down her dress to tighten the laces on her bodice a little more so her breasts sat higher. She grabbed her coin purse, which was much heavier with her gambling winnings and which Lucanis had let them all keep if they hadn’t lost it all like Bellara.

Lucanis noticed her rosy cheeks right away when he met her in the library, letting out a quiet exhale of longing. “All set now,” she smiled, swinging a satchel onto her shoulder.

“My city awaits,” he bowed his head slightly, excited at the prospect of spending some alone time with her before Spite deflated it by chiming in. “Do you think she’s going to buy some sexy panties like in our dream? We should tell her to buy some of those.”

“I’ll meet you down at the Eluvian, I need to check one last thing,” Lucanis hid a scowl, dragging Spite out into the courtyard. “What do you mean ‘our’ dream?” Lucanis asked when they could speak in private. “You had it too?”

“There’s something strange about this place,” Spite grinned deviously. “I can dream with you…and influence it a little…”

“So you made me dream about her?” Lucanis accused.

“No, that was all you…I just made things a little…more exciting. Her not having any clothes on was my idea. Your subconscious must’ve been thinking about those weird books you like. ‘Oh you rescued me…please take my maiden hood,’” Spite said with a mocking lilt in his voice.

“They aren’t weird,” Lucanis insisted. “They are quite popular…all across Thedas.”

“Because mortals live sad little lives, tempering their emotions into neat little packages. Spirits and demons hold nothing back. We lust with our entire being. We are unbound by the restrictions of flesh…mmmmm beautiful, pale flesh,” Spite began to recall seeing Mae naked, forgetting his train of thought. “I want to see her again…bare and perfect.”

“See who?” Lucanis put his hands on his hips. “Have you been spying on Mae again?”

“You left me in her room…at the casino…and she just suddenly…dropped her robe…and then me,” Spite said dreamily, passing out again from the memory and retreating from Lucanis for a moment.

“Maker, help me,” he put a hand to his forehead.

Lucanis returned inside, noting to himself to buy the extra strong beans this time that were a little less flavorful, but would keep him more alert. Mae was waiting at the Eluvian for him with Ferdinand on her shoulder, smiling and tucking her long bangs behind her ear as she usually did. Lucanis felt his heart beating like the wings of a hummingbird, wondering how much of Spite’s obsession with her was in part to his own growing infatuation. “I hope you don’t mind that Ferdi tags along too. He enjoys being around all the other birds and he really likes all the Crow decor,” she said scratching the rook under his chin.

“Not at all,” Lucanis smiled, offering his finger to give a scratch as well. “He annoys Spite and that pleases me to no end.”

They stepped through the Eluvian together, heading towards the dock that led to Treviso. Ferdinand flew off to scout ahead, noting the demon was gratefully absent. The possessed bird was as protective of Mae as Lucanis was and also sensed the man’s affection for her. He thought his mistress needed to have more mortal connections and had already given her some encouragement to do so. “So are all Nevarran mages Mortalitasi or do some of them specialize in other magic?” Lucanis asked, hoping to spark up a conversation.

“No, plenty of them train in other things. We have Circles of our own where they study. I suppose it was only natural for me to step into necromancy, being raised by them. Even if I’d never developed magical abilities, I could’ve still served in the Necropolis as a guard…I’m not sure what else I would’ve done,” she replied, reminding herself to ask him questions as well to show her interest in him and not just talk about the dead all day. “What about you? Did you always want to be an assassin?”

“I didn’t really have a choice,” Lucanis straightened his lips. “My parents were Crows and when they were killed, Caterina only accelerated my training. It was brutal,” he replied, unconsciously rubbing the top of his hands that bore small scars from her cane. “But it hardened me into the man I am today.”

“That sounds…awful,” Mae frowned as they approached the dock and waited for the Caretaker and Ferdinand to return. “You should have had a choice in things…especially since you have to kill people. And you shouldn’t have been hurt.”

“You don’t approve of what I do?” Lucanis wondered, though he didn’t hear any judgment in her voice.

Her answer was briefly interrupted by the Caretaker, who arrived with Ferdinand perched on the prow of the boat. “The path to the Eluvian is clear, Mistress,” Ferdinand said, sounding only like caw to Lucanis.

“I’m not sure,” she finally answered, chewing her lip in contemplation as she climbed into the boat. “Common belief is that we either we have total free will to determine our lives and you are robbing people of their proper time of death…or we’re all interwoven by some unknown fate and you are the necessary catalyst of their deaths…that all of this was supposed to happen…and I didn’t doom Thedas by releasing the blighted gods,” she sighed, closing her eyes and gripping the boat tightly as it smoothly pushed off through the air.

Lucanis didn’t know what to say to assuage her guilt, not being a religious person either. He watched as she began taking slow, deep breaths, keeping her eyes tightly closed, her face going even paler again. He hadn’t noticed it on the first ride back from Treviso, as he was trying to keep Spite from stabbing her rook. “Do you get seasick on any boat?” Lucanis asked, glancing over the side to the endless void below.

“Just…anywhere I can’t see the bottom of,” she replied nervously. “Here…it’s not as much the motion, but the fear of the abyss. If I go into the water…will I keep sinking? Will I keep falling here?” A single tear slipped down her cheek and Lucanis knew it was not only from her fear, but from her regret.

“Not if you have someone with wings who can pull you out,” Lucanis said, taking out a silk handkerchief and dabbing her cheek before placing his hand on top of hers.

She opened her eyes briefly to look at him, wondering if her heart might leap out of her chest. She closed them again and squeezed his hand tightly until they arrived at the dock of the converged city. Mae let out a relieved sigh as Lucanis helped her out of the boat, still holding tightly to his hand. “Thank you,” she opened her eyes, offering him a smile that sent his own heart leaping out of his chest. “This is all still difficult to process…but…regardless of why we met…I’m glad that we did.”

“I am too,” he smiled, his heart aching a bit when she finally let go of his hand and used the handkerchief to dab her cheek again. It pained him to see her upset and he desperately wanted to embrace her. She went to give the handkerchief back to him, but he closed her fist around it, guessing she would need it again. “Keep it. It is Sallen silk…the finest in Antiva. And you’ll have my blades…and Spite’s wings…for as long as you need.”

They walked silently beside one another as they continued on towards the Treviso Eluvian, both their hands restless to touch one another’s again. Ferdinand trailed behind them, noticing Spite walking further back as well. “Would you thank your host for his kindness to my mistress?” The bird landed close enough for Spite to hear but not to kick, hopping along with him. “Despite your vulgar intentions with her…I can sense that his are pure.”

“Entirely too pure,” Spite grumbled, staring down at his feet in what might be considered empathy to someone other than a demon. “But I understand that she is a delicate creature. I don’t like seeing her upset.”

“She is,” Ferdinand replied. “She needs his affection even more than his daggers.”

“Shall we call a truce then?” Spite asked. “For her sake?”

“That would be agreeable,” Ferdinand nodded. “But I still don’t like you.” He flew off after their tentative agreement, shitting in Spite’s direction, but not on him this time. He landed on Mae’s shoulder as Spite made a rude gesture at him. The demon retreated again, giving the two mortals some time alone.

They walked through the second Eluvian together, which was now being stored in one of the back rooms of the Cantori Diamond’s upper floor. “Let me just check in with Teia and Viago, see if they have any news,” Lucanis said as they left the store room. Mae nodded, waiting at the elevator so Lucanis could speak to his fellow Crows in private. Viago was the only one in the office, Teia out dealing with something outside the casino. “Couldn’t stay away?” Viago looked up from some paperwork with a smirk “We need time to gather information…or are you here for…other reasons?” He glanced around Lucanis to see Mae lingering in the distance, talking to Ferdinand.

“We’re just doing some shopping,” Lucanis insisted, looking back at Mae and trying to hide a blush. “They barely had any food to eat…and Mae…Maene…needed to get some things of her own.”

“So you are on a first name basis with her now?” Viago teased. “I thought you kept all your contracts formal?”

“This is…different,” Lucanis stammered. “This will be a long job…being casual will be…necessary…”

“I’m just giving you a hard time, Luca,” Viago laughed at Lucanis’ blushed cheeks. “But I think you made the right choice out of the three women…dark curls, blue eyes, firm backside, though she could use some sun,” Viago continued to tease, referring both to himself and Mae, reminding Lucanis of his previous crush.

“Are you done?” Lucanis pouted, putting his hands on his hips.

“Just one more,” Viago grinned, tipping his chair back. “Don’t try to woo her with a dagger…”

Lucanis made a noise in his throat, turning to walk away. “Just let me know when you have news.”

“Of course,” Viago nodded with another smirk. “Enjoy the city, Lady Ingellvar!” He waved at Mae when they made eye contact.

The gloaming light of Treviso made this impromptu outing more romantic than intended, both Lucanis and Mae blushing frequently as they were forced to lean close making their way through the crowded streets. Viago’s teasing hadn’t helped and Lucanis wondered if Mae was aware of his attraction as well. They arrived at the market square as lamps were being lit, the air filled with the scents of food, goods, and a hint of the mossy canals that weaved through the city. “Most of the textile sellers are down that way,” Lucanis motioned, guessing she didn’t want company as she bought new unmentionables. “I’ll meet you back here in a little while?”

“Take this first,” he unfastened one of the Crow-wing lapel pins from his overcoat and affixed it to hers, his fingers brushing across her warm skin for just a second. “This will ensure you get a good deal…and keep most of the pickpockets from bothering you.”

“Yes, that sounds fine,” she nodded, looking a bit overwhelmed by the clamor of buying and selling.

“Oh…right,” Mae shifted her coin purse from her outer pocket to the inner one of her coat. “We don’t have much of a problem with them in Nevarra City…but Spirits of Mischief are known to pinch a few coins if they get the chance.”

“I would love for you to show me around sometime,” Lucanis smiled, desperately wanting to tuck her hair out of her eye before she did it on reflex. “It sounds like an interesting place.”

“I’m hoping we can figure out where the right Eluvian is soon,” Mae smiled back.

They parted ways with both their stomachs fluttering, Ferdinand taking off to socialize with the other city birds and Spite trailing beside Lucanis as he forced him to follow. “Are we going to buy Mae something special?” Spite asked as Lucanis headed towards the grocers’ market. “Her asshole bird wants you to have sex with her too.”

“What?” Lucanis scowled at him. “No he doesn’t. Don’t be ridiculous.”

“He told me so!” Spite insisted. “He said she needs your affection as much as your daggers. He thanked you for being so nice to her.”

“You can understand him?” Lucanis wondered.

“Just when we are in the Fade,” Spite replied. “We’ve formed a truce so you can make love to Mae.”

“Affection is not the same thing as sex,” Lucanis replied. “It’s…holding her hand when she’s upset…noticing the things that she likes…respecting her bodily autonomy by not touching and leering at her.”

“But I can’t help myself,” Spite bemoaned. “She’s so interesting and beautiful. I want to know everything about her. Inside and out…mostly inside.”

“I want to as well, but…there’s a proper way of going about things…it takes time.”

“Is there an improper way that is fast?”

Lucanis just shook his head, going straight to his favored coffee seller, hoping he’d settled his issue with the Antaam at the docks. Lucanis was pleased to see him there and bought several bags of beans, assuring the man that the Crows were working on getting the Qunari out of the city for good. “Back so soon?” The flower seller greeted Lucanis when he walked across the street. “How are the Little Doves fairing?”

“She liked them quite a bit,” Lucanis replied. “Do you have anything else from Nevarra?”

“I’m afraid not,” the woman shook her head. “I’m still struggling to get goods in with the restrictions in place. But I can put in a special request once I can get in contact with my supplier. If it is for a woman…I can arrange an entire bouquet for her…though I could put something together now that is a little more…traditional.”

“She’s…not a traditional sort,” Lucanis laughed. “A special bouquet would be wonderful. When you are able.”

Lucanis gave the woman a hefty deposit and bought a starter of spearmint for Harding’s burgeoning garden. He wanted to bring back something nice for everyone and grabbed some fruit for Neve and a complicated contraption for Bellara to tinker with. He continued on with his shopping, keeping a close eye out for the perfect hairpin for Mae.

Mae had found her way to the textile stalls slowly, too polite to ask people to move aside when the lane was blocked and waiting for them to move on their own. There was a lot of leather and various bits of armor and low-cut gowns to browse, but she continued on until she found a stall that appeared to be selling intimate wear. The shopkeeper was with another customer when Mae approached, so she just looked over the various slips and small clothes folded across the table until she was finished. “How can I help you, dear?” The woman asked when she was done with her previous customer, looking Mae over curiously. “You aren’t from around here?”

“No…I’m not,” Mae replied shyly.

Mae stood out in the crowd of olive-skinned citizens and Qunari refugees, not just because of her pale skin. Everyone was stylishly dressed, even just out at the market. Mae’s clothes looked drab in comparison. Although her solemn black overcoat was finely-made and embroidered like the threads of the circulatory system, but those sort of details were lost on anyone outside of the Mourn Watch. The green linen dress she wore underneath was quite demure, even with her waist cinched tightly with a gold, knucklebone-clasped belt and her bodice tied as tightly as possible.

She was one of the few Watchers that didn’t frequently wear her grave dowries outside of the Necropolis. She was always rushed for time in the mornings and although she enjoyed the ceremony of putting on each gold ring and bracelet, she much preferred to sleep in as late as possible. She usually kept at least a few rings on, however, unless she was bathing. One was an ouroboros, her constant reminder of the eternal cycle of life. The other was her Watchers’ insignia, the helmet symbol of her order etched into the gold disk.

The shopkeeper smiled politely at Mae, recognizing that the woman was clearly anxious, before her eyes noticed the Crow pin on the lapel of her overcoat. “Are you in the market for something special?” The owner asked, assuming that the exotic and pretty thing had caught the eye of one of the many libidinous Crows in the city and was looking to something exciting to wear. She motioned towards the stack of lace and silk undergarments.

“No…I just…need to replenish my supply of small clothes,” Mae said meekly. “I lost them all in Tevinter and have been wearing and washing the same old pair for weeks.”

“I see,” the woman nodded, moving over to the plain muslin panties that were popular with the common folk.

“I offer a discount on pairs of ten,” she held up the plain, un-tailored shorts.

They were perfect for every day use, but Mae’s eyes kept being drawn back to the midnight blue silk shorts that were cut high in the back to accentuate the rear. “Are these…Sallen silk?” Mae asked, brushing her thumb across the smooth fabric. She’d been rubbing the handkerchief in her pocket to soothe her anxiety and she wondered how the fabric would feel whispering across her most sensitive areas.

“They are indeed,” the woman replied, holding up the delicate panties to her. “The finest in Antiva…and worth the price.”

The woman didn’t want to assume Mae’s wealth, despite her dress, especially since she was under the protection of the Crows, but some of the assassins were quite stingy when treating their dalliances. Mae looked over the panties, trying not to blush thinking about Lucanis slowly slipping them off her. She set them down gently, reaching into her coat to retrieve her coin purse. She still wasn’t sure how much each silver coin was worth and dumped out a handful to show the woman. Her eyes widened a bit, seeing that the pale girl’s likely suitor wasn’t one of the stingy ones. “Ah yes, that will get you ten pairs of the muslin shorts, a few plain bodices as well, and the silk set…aside from the matching lace garters,” the woman smiled, scooping up the coins in her hands. It was a fair deal that wouldn’t put her on the wrong side of the girl’s lover.

“That would be wonderful,” Mae nodded approvingly.

The woman retrieved the matching silk bodice and began to wrap everything up in vibrant tissue paper, making small talk to try to glean if Mae’s suitor was known to her. “I think your lover will enjoy these as well,” the owner smiled, putting the silk set on top. “They will look lovely with your complexion. Crows do adore that shade of blue.”

“Oh,” Mae blushed deeply, reaching up to thumb the pin on her lapel. “He’s not my…I want him to be, but…we’ve only just met.”

“Ah,” the woman noted, not acquainted with any chaste Crows. “Let him see you in that set and he soon will be.”

“Do you think he’d…like the lace ones more?” Mae chewed her lip in indecision. They were practically backless, only a thin string connecting to the crotch. “I’ve…never had a lover before.”

“Oh,” the woman cooed, hoping the Crow would be gentle and not break her heart. “I’m sure he’ll like anything you put on, dear…are you…experienced with…pleasing yourself. At least?” She hesitated to ask, hoping to spare the young woman some pain.

“Oh yes,” Mae bit her lip, recalling her desperate writhing against her fingers and then her dream. “I just…want to be ready for anything…what if he’s…large? I know my body will accommodate him eventually but…I don’t want him to be disappointed.”

Mae’s only sexual experiences had been with herself or spirits. She had no idea how spectral sensations would translate to physical ones, even if she was used to being stimulated in all three holes at once on occasion. Her fingers had done an adequate job, but she’d always wanted to try something bigger. She’d never been brave enough to enter one of the wellness shops in Nevarra that offered a variety of realistic and fantastical options for stimulation. She’d been given a gag gift when joining the Mourn Watch, a giant toy that looked like a bone penis, but she’d never dared to even attempt it.

The woman motioned for Mae to wait a moment, ducking under one of her tables to look for something. She pulled out a small case, roughly the size of a large book, and slowly opened it. There were several dildos inside of various shapes and sizes, some more anatomically correct than others. Mae made a quiet noise in her throat, looking around to see if anyone had noticed the variety of cocks. “I get a lot of young brides at my stall…so I started stocking these…I recommend one to all of them,” the woman smiled. “Sex can be painful at first…especially with an overeager partner. And even after, some men…and women can’t be bothered to please their lovers as well.”

“Uhhuh,” Mae nodded, reaching out to touch one of the dildos.

“I call that one the Cat’s Cat,” the woman grinned. “It starts to purr when you touch the enchantment on the bottom.”

She ran her finger over the small jewel at the base and the toy began to vibrate softly. “Oh!” Mae let out an excited squeak. “How..how much?”

“If you have one of the coins with the two-talon crow, it is yours,” the woman smiled, this item being less of a deal since the purchase would likely not be mentioned to her suitor. Mae peeked in her coin purse, looking through the various disks before finding one with the aforementioned bird. “Here you are,” Mae grinned, trying to hide her excitement.

The woman tucked the toy into Mae’s package of small clothes before wrapping it up and securing it with twine, wishing Mae good luck as she wandered away. The market somehow seemed even more crowded now that it was fully dark and the noise and crowd began to make Mae nervous. She was finally forced to excuse herself past people who had stopped to socialize in the middle of the lane, holding her bag tightly against her chest. Vendors barked at her to come over, offering to tan her pallor with creams or straighten her curls with tonics. Someone shoved a whole fish on a stick in front of her, the smell making her nauseous. The constant overwhelm finally got to her, feeling a panic attack coming on. She found a bench tucked down an alley to sit on, pulling her hood up and pressing her hands against her ears to shut out the noise.

Lucanis had finished his shopping, though still unable to find the right hair pin for Mae and went to meet her in the market square, assuming she’d be finished before him. He didn’t see her anywhere around, furrowing his brow in sudden worry. “What are we waiting around for?” Spite asked when Lucanis had been standing in one spot for a few minutes. “Have you bought Mae a gift yet?”

“No, I haven’t found the right thing yet,” Lucanis scanned the crowd again, hoping to see her tall, pale figure. “And we are here waiting for Mae. She should have been back by now.”

“Why isn’t she here then?” Spite asked impatiently, looking around as well.

“I don’t know…maybe she couldn’t find any small clothes…or…” Lucanis frowned, his stomach churning.

“Or what?” Spite asked, looking around more frantically.

“She’s probably fine,” Lucanis put a hand to one of his daggers, suddenly fearing the worst and striding towards the direction he’d pointed her towards.

“Could something have happened to her? What if another demon saw her and wanted her for himself?” Spite began to ramble nervously.

“I doubt there are demons walking the streets…just plain, old-fashioned thieves and deviants,” Lucanis began to pick up his steps, weaving deftly through the crowds.

Mae was beautiful and polite, the perfect target for would-be louts. She also had a pocket full of Antivan silver…and she had been seen with him, the presumptive new First Talon once Caterina had been laid to rest properly. If it wasn’t enemies from within the city, it could be from outside. Venatori or Qunari that had taken a special interest in her. Lucanis was so afraid, so full of fear that he’d left her side only for her to be hurt or kidnapped, that Spite was able to take control. He shoved people out of the way instead of weaving past them, he snarled at those who were needlessly blocking the lanes. He sniffed the air loudly, searching for her unique scent among all the other smells of the market.

He caught a hint, the spicy scent of her incense mixed with a nervous sweat on her skin. This spurred him on further, several Crows starting to tail the disruptive man until they recognized Lucanis and backed off. They’d all been discretely told that he was a different man than they one they might recognize, but not explicitly told that he was possessed by a demon. Spite passed the small alley she sat in once, doubling back when he caught her scent again. He ran to her side, wrapping his arms tightly around her. “Mae!” He sighed heavily as she raised her head, locking eyes with him before Lucanis was able to wrest back control.

“Mae,” Lucanis brushed her long bangs out of her eyes. “Are you alright? Are you hurt?”

“No…I’m alright,” she said quietly, thankful that he was here. “I just got…overwhelmed. It got so loud and crowded and I…”

“It’s alright,” he said softly, trying to reassure her. “Why don’t we take a little break? Get something to eat and drink? One of my favorite places isn’t far, Cafe Pietra,” Lucanis suggested.

“Sure, that’s sounds fine,” she let out a deep exhale. “Sorry…I’m just not…used to being around a lot of people at once…and the Necropolis is dead silent most of the time…not just literally.”

Lucanis smiled, not sure if she was making a joke or just being her usual odd self. He helped her up, offering to carry her bag for her, but she was too paranoid the toy she’d bought might accidentally fall out and embarrass her somehow. She kept a tight hold of it, keeping it held against her chest. He took her other hand and led her back through the crowd, glancing back at her on occasion to check in on her. Her stomach fluttered wildly with each look and she hoped the cafe would have some soothing tea to calm her nerves and loins. “So what kind of coffee do you like?” Lucanis asked as they left the market and began walking down a quieter street.

“I don’t think I’ve ever had it,” Mae replied. “I heard it keeps you awake and that’s pretty much the opposite of what I ever want.”

“You’ve never had coffee?” Lucanis exclaimed.

“No,” Mae blushed slightly. “I like going to sleep. I can do almost anything.”

“Really?” Lucanis wondered. “To what extent?”

“I can shape my dreams to whatever I want…and other people’s too…though I’ve never done that before. There are even Dreamers that were used as assassins. A Crow Dreamer could kill you in your sleep.”

“That’s…incredible…and dangerous…”

“It’s the reason the Mortalitasi suspect I was abandoned as an infant. Demons find us particularly interesting. Most of us get possessed before we can be properly trained to resist them.”

“I told you other demons would want her,” Spite took a long whiff of her hair. “I can keep them away!”

“Why do they find you so appealing?” Lucanis asked, motioning behind his back at Spite to get him to stop sniffing her. “Besides the obvious reasons…”

“We make particularly deadly abominations if we are ever possessed…It’s strange actually…being around demons usually causes me a lot of pain…but Spite…”

“She’s talking about me?” Spite perked up.

“What about Spite?” Lucanis swatted at the demon again.

“He feels…different. He doesn’t hurt to be around. Maybe it has something to do with how he was forced into your body.”

“I would never hurt you, Mae,” Spite promised. “Quite the opposite…I want to fu…” he added before Lucanis cut him off.

“Don’t!” He glared at Spite and then looked back at Mae. “Don’t let your guard down around him,” he added, so she didn’t suspect he was talking to the demon. “He’s dangerous.”

“Don’t speak ill of me to her!” Spite protested. “I want her to like me!”

Lucanis ignored him, putting his arm around her shoulder to guide her down the street, but also to piss off Spite. He was still cursing at Lucanis when they arrived at Cafe Pietra, vowing to embarrass Lucanis as soon as he got the opportunity. “I’ve got the perfect thing for you to try,” Lucanis said as they sat down. “A Tour of Antiva. It’s a coffee flight that will let you sample a whole range of flavors.”

“Alright,” she nodded. “Only if you promise to stay up with me when I am wired by caffeine,” she tried to flirt, her stomach knotting anxiously.

“That’s a promise,” Lucanis smiled, knowing he would already be awake to keep Spite away from her.

Lucanis ordered an extra large, extra strong coffee for himself and the flight for Mae to try, as well as some hearty pastries to eat. “Do you want to sit away from the water?” Lucanis asked, the cafe edged on one side by a canal.

“I think I should be fine,” Mae peeked over the railing. “I can see the bottom…someone threw their cup in there.”

“How about here then?” Lucanis pulled out a chair for her.

“Thank you,” she nodded and sat down, slipping her satchel off her shoulder. She looked around at the sparsely crowded cafe, several other couples at tables by themselves. She felt her stomach tense, wondering if this was technically a date. Did he intend to kiss her at the end? Should she kiss him? The dates in her romance novels usually ended with someone inviting the other in for coffee, so they seemed to be doing the opposite. “Do you…come here a lot?” Mae asked. “I mean, did you…before Spite and the Ossuary?”

“I did, even when I didn’t need to stay up all night. They have coffee without caffeine, so I could still sleep when I wanted to.”

“Oh, that’s nice,” Mae smiled, having no clue where to steer the conversation next.

Lucanis didn’t either, wishing he had his drink so he could pause to sip and think of something. “So…do you…choose what you dream about when you go to sleep?” Lucanis finally asked. “Could you…dream about riding a wyvern if you wanted to?”

“No, I can’t just create dreams out of nothing, but say I was dreaming about needing to get somewhere and I started riding a horse, I could change that to a wyvern…though I’ve never ridden a wyvern, so it would be more like riding a horse that looked like a wyvern…sorry…I’m over explaining things,” Mae looked down at the table in embarrassment.

“No…I’m very interested to hear about this,” Lucanis grinned. “I was nearly banned from the natural history museum as a child for trying to ride the display skeleton.”

“Really?” Mae laughed.

“Illario dared me to do it…and I already wanted to anyway…I got halfway up the wing before the docent grabbed me by the shirt collar.”

“If you ever come to Nevarra, the Cumberland Wyrm Museum has a model you can climb on…though…it is supposed to only be for children…but I bet they’d make an exception.”

“I’d love to go,” Lucanis replied as their coffee and pastries arrived. “Just in time,” he took his cup directly from the server and took a slow sip.

She set down Mae’s coffee flight next, a row of five tiny cups, and then the small plate of pastries between them. Both Mae and Lucanis reached for the cinnamon cake, their hands gently colliding. “You go ahead,” Lucanis blushed, pulling his hand back. “You haven’t tried it yet.”

“Why don’t we share?” Mae suggested, splitting the cake in half and handing him the larger piece. “So I can try all of them!”

“That’s fair,” Lucanis took the piece, pairing a bite with a long sip of coffee.

“Which of these should I try first?” Mae asked, looking down at the cups of identical brown liquid.

“This one will pair nicely with the cake…it’s what I’m drinking,” he motioned towards one of the middle cups.

Mae took a large sip, her face immediately shifting as the bitter liquid hit her tongue. “Hmmmm,” she struggled to swallow it, immediately taking a bite of cinnamon cake after. “That’s…bold,” she took another bite of cake, trying to wash away the taste on her tongue.

“You didn’t like it?” Lucanis smirked at her trying to be polite.

“I can see why someone threw their cup in the canal now,” she forced a smile. “I didn’t realize it was so bitter…”

“Some people add cream or sugar to soften it,” Lucanis replied. “I can have them bring you some…but why don’t you try another and see if you can taste a difference.”

“Sure,” Mae nodded, reaching for a cup at the opposite end of her tray. She took a much smaller sip, making the same face as before but trying to hide it behind her cup. “Nope…I just taste bitter,” she swallowed, her throat tensing like she might be sick.

“I’ll go get you some cream and sugar then,” Lucanis suggested, heading back to the counter.

Mae made a quiet noise in her throat, clasping her hands to her stomach. Between her crowd anxiety, being alone with Lucanis, and the now the coffee, her guts were suddenly churning. “Not now, Maker,” she whined to herself, taking in some slow, deep breaths to try to alleviate the cramping.

Her stomach made a loud gurgling noise, announcing its lack of faith and immediate need for a privy. Mae glanced over at Lucanis, who was still at the counter, having a jovial conversation with the barista. “Shit!” Mae whispered scooting her chair out and heading to the restrooms.

With Lucanis occupied catching up with the barista, Spite followed Mae with a devious grin, expecting another peek at her naked body, having little concept of how women went to the bathroom. He only received a brief flash of her bare thighs as she pulled her overcoat and dress up, hurriedly shimmying down her panties and sitting down on the toilet with a violent spray of loose stool. It wasn’t what he’d expected to see and hear, but he giggled childishly until the smell hit him. “Ohhh…Mae…no,” Spite wrinkled his nose, slowly backing out of the bathroom and returned to their table.

“Where’s Mae?” Lucanis asked as he came back with cream, sugar, and tea for Mae if she didn’t want to try any more coffee. “You weren’t bothering her, were you?”

“No,” Spite pressed his lips firmly together, curious to ask Lucanis why she was making such hilarious noises and terrible smells, but not wanting to reveal that he was spying on her again. “I think she went to the bathroom to be sick…your face…made her sick,” Spite leaned into the lie.

“Shut up,” Lucanis sighed, sitting back down, but keeping an eye on the restroom.

Mae emerged a few minutes later, her forehead looking a little dewy from her digestive woes, managing a half smile as she sat back down. “I feel wired already,” she made a wide-eyed expression, seeing the tea and reaching for it immediately. “Oh, thank you.”

“Perhaps starting you off with the intense stuff wasn't the best idea,” Lucanis admitted. “We can try again with something milder.”

“Sure,” Mae nodded, knowing she would likely have the same reaction to all flavors of coffee.

Mae sipped her tea slowly, her stomach still grumbling as they made causal conversation about Treviso and Nevarra City. She had to retreat to the bathroom a second time, pretending to have something stuck in her boot that was digging into her foot. Spite stayed at the table this time, though was proud that his new obsession could make such a stink. “Do you need to get anything else?” Lucanis asked Mae as the barista cleared their table, having asked her for a lead on a shop that sold hair pins.

“I could probably do with some more soaps and things,” Mae replied, feeling a bath was in order after her ordeal in the toilets.

“There’s an apothecary that will have some nice toiletries and it is away from the market, so there will be no crowds either,” Lucanis suggested, getting up and rushing to help her pull out her chair.

“Sounds perfect,” she smiled, his body half-blocking her from moving forward, in the perfect position to kiss her. She thought for a moment he was reaching out to pull her closer, but he just grabbed her satchel off the back of her chair.

“Don’t want to forget this,” he smiled.

“Definitely not,” she hid a disappointed sigh, stopping for one last agonizing trip to the privy.

They headed for the apothecary, the jewelers Lucanis wanted to go to close enough that he could leave Mae again and pop back in before she was finished shopping. Although the streets were less crowded and more quiet, the Qunari soldiers were more numerous, a few of them lustfully grunting at Mae. Spite growled angrily at them in response, despite them not being able to hear it. They passed a toy shop on the way, Mae spotting something she instantly needed to buy.

Lucanis went off to browse hairpins after dropping her at the large apothecary, not noticing her slipping out after hastily buying some soap and bath oils. She doubled back to the toy store, buying the item she’d seen in the window and tucking it into her bag. She returned to the apothecary to continue browsing toiletries and inquired about a tonic that might settle her digestive system. She downed it quickly when she saw Lucanis return to the shop, before the clerk decided to air her business to the world anyway. “Now if the diarrhea persists, be sure to drink plenty of water,” the old man recommended. “We also sell a salve for the backside if it starts to chafe.”

“Thank you,” Mae hissed between gritted teeth, snatching up the small sack of herbalism ingredients she’d also purchased.

Lucanis just smiled awkwardly, pretending not to hear, though was slightly relieved that she hadn’t gone to the privy so many times to avoid talking to him. They walked in silence for a bit, heading back towards the Cantori Diamond. “I have something for you,” Lucanis finally said as they rode the elevator up to the Eluvian, seeing Mae tucking her hair behind her ear again. He pulled out a small box from his pocket and handed it to her.

“Oh?” she looked at the box wide-eyed, her mind insipidly assuming he was proposing for just a moment. She opened it up quickly, seeing that it wasn’t a ring, but a gold hair pin with a delicate opal dove affixed to one end. “Oh…” she let out a little coo, carefully taking it out of the box.

“To go with your flowers,” he smiled, the sweet noise that she’d made worth the price he’d paid for it. “And to keep your hair out of your eyes…it can be a liability in a fight.”

“Right…useful,” she blushed, slipping the pin through her hair, right above her ear. “How does it look?”

“Here,” he adjusted it slightly, tucking more hair in so it didn’t cover the dove. She let out a quiet breath as his fingers brushed against her ear. “It looks perfect,” he gazed at her with a wide smile, his dark eyes making her swoon.

“Iguva,” she uttered a non-existent word as her tongue tied itself in multiple knots. “I…uh…got you something as well,” she fumbled into her bag, reaching for the thing she’d purchased at the toy store. “I was going to save it in case we did get to Nevarra…but…” She handed him a small wooden dagger, shaped like a wyvern tooth. “It’s silly and useless…but…if you ever got the chance to ride on one…I thought you should have the proper weapon,” she stared at her feet, embarrassed by her paltry gift.

“This is amazing,” Lucanis beamed, spinning the lightweight dagger on his hand with a flourish. “I wanted one as a child…but Caterina never let me have one.”

“Really?” Mae finally looked up, seeing the joy on his face before he embraced her.

“This is the most special thing anyone has ever given me…thank you, Mae,” he hugged her tightly, unable to control his emotions at the moment.

Spite was overjoyed as well, assuming this exchange of gifts would immediately lead to sex and joined their hug, making them both shiver against one another. “You’re very welcome,” Mae sunk against him, guessing his childhood was as affection-less as hers was. As much as she wanted to kiss him, this was just as good at the moment. Their embrace was once again interrupted by Illario, who stood waiting at the elevator door as it clattered open.

“There you are,” he sucked his teeth loudly, irritated that his cousin was apparently gaining more ground with Mae than he was. “Viago mentioned you’d slipped away into the city with the lovely Lady Ingellvar. I hope you didn’t spoil all the sights I wanted to show her.”

“We were shopping, not sightseeing,” Lucanis released her immediately, not wanting his cousin to make any more assumptions about their relationship. “We’ve got a whole team to feed.”

“And what’s this?” Illario grabbed the toy dagger out of Lucanis’ hand like a jealous toddler. “You don’t have a child, do you?” He looked at Mae with a note of apprehension.

“Gods, no,” Mae made a face as Illario tried the same knife flourish with the toy, much less elegantly than Lucanis had done it. “Adults deserve some whimsy as well.”

“Well, I prefer the real thing,” Illario tossed the toy ungraciously back at Lucanis. “I’m already pursuing some leads into Caterina’s death.”

“Good,” Lucanis tightened his lips, angry that his cousin was mocking Mae’s thoughtful gift. “Let me know as soon as you get something solid.”

“You’ll be the first to know,” Illario patted Lucanis on the shoulder. “As long as you’re not off on some whimsical adventure with blighted gods and demons…”

Lucanis had the urge to punch Illario for the first time since they were teens, the hormonal boys frequently trying to one up one another. There was no reason for Illario to be mocking Mae, unless he was trying some ill-advised method of flirting by being rude. Lucanis was certain his cousin had no real interest in Mae other than stealing her away. It was something he had always done, even as a child. Mae looked down at her feet again, reaching up to nervously tuck her hair behind her ear even though it was already pinned back. “I should go find Ferdi so we can head back,” she said quietly, her joy now diminished. She walked past Illario staring at the ground and went out onto one of the balconies.

“Do you have a problem with Mae?” Lucanis asked, tucking the toy dagger into his belt. “I think you made her feel bad even though I loved her gift.”

“She’s just a little strange, isn’t she?” Illario shrugged. “The pet bird and odd clothing…and the way she over-explains things…”

“So you don’t like her because she isn’t one of those mindless flamingos who fawn over you?”

“I never said I didn’t like her,” Illario glanced out the window, seeing her bent over the railing calling for her rook. “I bet you could see every spank mark on that lily-white ass.”

“You’re disgusting,” Lucanis spat, pushing past him by bumping his shoulder hard.

He joined Mae on the balcony, putting his hand close to hers on the railing. “Illario always pretended to be older than he actually was,” Lucanis said, hoping to make her feel better. “But he still wet the bed into his teens…he had little imagination…even then.”

“You two grew up together?” Mae asked, letting out a quiet sigh.

“Illario and I were the only ones to survive House Veladro’s war to claim the seat of First Talon. We were like brothers…though we still fought of course.”

“There weren’t many children in the Necropolis…and only a few very unsettling child spirits…but I think I would’ve liked having a sister to grow up with,” Mae mused.

“You and Harding seem close,” Lucanis noted.

“We were roughly the same age when we both joined the Inquisition, both young and eager for adventure. It was a dangerous time back then, but we still managed to have some fun.”

“You’ll have to tell me some stories sometime,” Lucanis smiled, looking out at city beyond. “Ferdinand isn’t back yet?”

“He’s over there,” Mae smiled, tipping her head towards a building across the way. “I think he has a new love interest.”

There was a small group of corvids on the roof, Ferdinand sticking out slightly due to his featherless chin. He was ruffling and flapping his wings in a courtship dance, one of the other birds in particular paying close attention. “So he still has…an instinct to be an ordinary rook, even though he’s inhabited by a spirit?” Lucanis wondered.

“Somewhat,” Mae nodded. “I think he’s gotten lonelier in the past year while we were tracking Solas. We were constantly on the move and he never had the chance to find a flock to settle in with.”

“Would that mean he’d be staying here in Treviso?”

“I don’t know,” Mae replied, a hint of sadness in her voice. “It would be his choice if he wanted to raise a family here.”

“The fucking bird is going to have sex before we do?” Spite grumbled at Lucanis’ side. “Do…you think doing a dance for Mae would help my chances?”

Lucanis tried not to laugh at the idea of Spite attempting a mating dance, knowing Mae’s mood was still somber. “I doubt he would leave your side so easily,” Lucanis said, leaning against the railing a little closer to her. “I’ve never met anyone like you.”

“I hear that a lot…I’m never sure if it’s a good or bad thing…”

“It’s a very good thing, Mae,” Lucanis nudged her with his hip ever so slightly. “Anyone who doesn’t think so is incredibly boring.”

“I’ve been told I’m incredibly boring too,” she sighed, pushing herself off the railing. “Maybe I just need more coffee…I feel like I could fly off the roof right now.”

“The jitteriness goes away quickly,” Lucanis looked back at her as she rolled her shoulders, trying to un-tense her muscles. “But maybe you should dance too?”

“Ha!” She did a little twirl, spinning on her toes with a graceful kick. “Harding did teach me to dance a little, just in case I ever got invited to one of the fancy Nevarran society parties.”

“Did you?” Lucanis asked, leaning back on the railing to watch her repeating the steps to some unknown dance. Spite was trying and failing to dance in step with her, fluttering his wings and stumbling over his own feet.t

“Oh no,” Mae shook her head, finishing her dance with a slight curtesy. “I accidentally blew up a bunch of noble undead who were trying to take over the city and was permanently banned from any guest list.”

“Now I need to hear this story,” Lucanis marveled at her. “And brush up on my dance skills with Harding.”

“Perhaps over coffee and tea sometime,” Mae motioned with her head as Ferdinand flew over from the roof, finished with his courtship and with another arranged date settled. He landed on the railing in front of her, cawing softly. “It’s alright, I understand that you met someone,” Mae replied. “She has very lovely tail feathers.”

He cawed again in response before flying onto her shoulder. “Yes we can come back whenever you want,” she nodded, looking to Lucanis to see if he was ready to return to the Lighthouse.

[zenplayss]

2-4-2 Wakabamori (RENO) Part 2

Hey Simmers,

PART 2

I was inspired to rebuild the Yume household from Ashwarrplays "Yume Series". Please note I AM NOT THE ORIGINAL CREATOR OF THIS BUILD. I just took the time to find all the CC used for this build :)

All credit goes to these following creators:

House Shell Creator: EA - Alexasimi

Interior Creator: @Ashwarrplays TikTok

Sims 4 Pack's required for this lot: Snowy Escape, Cat & Dogs, Desert Lux Kit, Island Living, Bathroom Clutter Kit, Laundry Day Pack, Jungle Adventures, Seasons, Cool Kitchen, Spa Day, Bust the Dust Kit, Eco lifestyle, Growing Together.

You can find the build on my EA Name: zencreatorplays

CC List:

STEFAN bathroom | Patreon

𝓓𝓪𝓷𝓭𝔂 𝓓𝓲𝓪𝓻𝔂 Bathroom | Patreon

Blooming Rooms Kit Separated Plants | Patreon

morning routine; 11 'glossier' inspired makeup and skincare items 🧴 | Patreon

SeaSim Skincare Set - Simlish - The Sims 4 Build / Buy - CurseForge

DOWNLOAD - Wave Living | Patreon

DOWNLOAD - 2ND WAVE | Patreon

lorysims — Land Rover Range Rover Sport SVR by LorySims Lot... (tumblr.com)

Functional Kitchen-Sims Mixer (Standalone version) | Patreon

The Sims 4 - H&B Store Stuff Pack [Updated, 18th April] | Patreon

Home Barista ☕ | Patreon

DOWNLOAD - NCTR Cellar | Patreon

Essential Clutter Set | Patreon

| Some clutter, I made most of these for my sims... (tumblr.com)

The COLDBREW coffeeshop pt. 1 | Patreon

The COLDBREW coffee shop pt. 2 | Patreon

The COLDBREW coffee shop pt. 3 | Patreon

LC - "That Sim" Essentials Part I | Patreon

That Sim Essentials Part II | Patreon

Stylish Wood - Fancy Dining CC Pack - The Sims 4 Build / Buy - CurseForge

ROLD SKOV kitchen - mini kit | Patreon

Beam Kitchen - Complete Set | Patreon

the lighthouse collection - overview | Patreon

DOWNLOAD - IND Restaurant - Part 01 | Patreon

DOWNLOAD - IND Restaurant - Part 02 | Patreon

DOWNLOAD - IND Restaurant - Part 03 | Patreon

♡ ✧*。𝑀𝑒𝓁𝓁𝑜𝓌𝑀𝑜𝑜𝒹𝓈 *✧♡ | Patreon

DOWNLOAD - MadeinBrazil Collection - Clay Water Filters | Patreon

Back to Basics Kitchen Set (BGC) | Patreon

Functional Blender and Protein Shakes | Patreon

Small Spaces: Pantry (CC Pack for The Sims 4) | Patreon

🌾LOTTIE BEDROOM | Patreon

David's Apartment - part 1 | Patreon

David's Apartment - part 2 | Patreon

Teenage Dream - Part 01 (Download) | PatreonThe Sims Resource - Cottage - Basket with blanket

Tree Cat Condo 🌲 | Patreon

the balance collection ♡ | Patreon

Kessler Kitchen CC Pack (CC for The Sims 4) | Patreon

lajos: cesca-inspired chairs by sforzinda - The Sims 4 Download - SimsFinds.com

Maple Manor - The modernist Collection (Download) | Patreon

Around the Sims 4 | Custom Content Download | Functional teapots (aroundthesims3.com)

💚FUNCTIONAL WINE BOTTLES💚 | Patreon

Simsational Designs: Hinterlands Dining - Country Style with 16 items

📝 ARRIE OFFICE | Patreon

The Sims Resource - On Cloud Wine Bottle

Simsational Designs: Myra Living

RAVASHEEN - Sip Back and Relax Functional Bar Cart

Vime Closet | Patreon

Simsational Designs: Hamptons Getaway - Bathroom Addon

[DOWNLOAD] Agnes set (remastered cc) | Patreon

COOL POOLS CC KIT || Round & Custom Designed Pools || The Sims 4 || Full Package | Patreon

DOWNLOAD - Cross Bed and Bath Set | Patreon

Stylish-Wood Living Room CC PACK - The Sims 4 Build / Buy - CurseForge

[foodandfolklore]

Kitchen Witch Essentials

I want to preference this by saying your priorities of tools for your craft will vary as you get more experienced. If you get more into baking, you may choose to invest in a kitchen mixer. If your path goes more down drinks, you might want to get a French press. This list is for those starting out or looking to maintain general witchy cooking. Nothing on this list is mandatory, so don't feel like you need to go spend money just because it's on this list.

This list will also assume you have general kitchen stuff, like pots, pans, and knives. You may not have everything, but you have enough to cook.

Wooden Spoon

If for whatever reason you don't have a wooden spoon, and you want to do kitchen magic, I strongly recommend you go and get one. You can get them at any store that sells Kitchen Utensils, including the dollar store.

For some kitchen witches, the wooden spoon is like a magic wand. Allowing the witch to direct energy. Personally, I just enjoy using natural materials whenever I can. Also, it's just such a useful tool to have when cooking. You can stir your food on stove top, and since it's made of wood you don't need to worry about damaging non stick surfaces. If you're boiling pasta, stirring with a wooden spoon helps get rid of the foam overboil. You can also just leave the spoon over the pot to prevent pasta water overboiling. Baking bread? Flip the spoon around and use the handle to bring the dough together.

Some people choose to add sigils or other symbols onto their witchy spoons. If you decide to do this, please do not use paint or stain, as this can come off while cooking. Unless this will be a display only spoon, of course. Safest way is to laser burn a design. Check etsy for custom spoons.

Herbs/Spices you know the properties of

I'm sure you already have some non perishable Herbs or Spices in your pantry or spice rack. Black Pepper, Garlic powder, Cinnamon, Paprika, that kind of thing. I want you to pick one and deep dive into the history of that Herb/Spice. What it's been used for in the past, what are some common magical properties and associations; what do YOU associate with it. Write down the magical association, like protection, banish negativity, prosperity, ect. Start with one, work your way up to three. If you have trouble memorizing, keep a little cheat sheet near by.

Now when you add these seasonings, you know what energies you can add/attract with your food.

Mortar and Pestle

If you already have another way to grind spices, like a coffee grinder, this does not need to be a priority. And if you have arm or shoulder issues, I don't recommend using. The main benefit to using a mortar and pestle is the crushing style of grinding tends to release more aroma and flavor then the cutting style of a coffee grinder. If you plan to just use for dry spices, you won't need a very big or fancy one. 20 dollars should get you something small and solid.

Make sure you are getting one made of stone. I tried a wooden one and it's garbage. I use it to hold messy spoons. There are also metal ones, and while I've never tried one, I encourage caution. I worry about long term use stripping whatever coating is stopping it from rusting.

Jars

Glass Jars are so great to have in the kitchen. Leftover sauce? Put it in a jar. Suddenly made a jam? We got jars to put it in. Meal prep overnight oats? Jars are here for you! They're just great for storage. And you don't need to buy them. Lots of things come in jars; just give them a hot soapy soak, scrap the label off, wash and reuse. If you prefer mason jars, I recommend washing the lids by hand. The lids aren't meant to be reused for jarring, so they rust fairly quickly after a few washes. You can buy replacement lids, however.

Plastic Containers

Jars are great, but things get a little dicey when you want to put stuff in the freezer. Water likes to make sure everyone knows it's cold by puffing up bigger; like look at me, I'm freezing here! Which means, there's a chance your glass jar can shatter.

But freezing food is the best way to preserve food since you don't need to add anything like extra salt or sugar. So get some freezer safe containers. I love making batches of broth and stock, and freeze it for later. Or if we have a lot of leftovers, I'll freeze enough for a dinner another week, incase I don't have enough spoons to make dinner one evening. And don't worry, you can wash and reuse plastic containers too.

I'll also freeze food I notice is starting to go weird. If I buy a huge bag of baby spinach, but can't get through it all, I'll transfer it to a freezer bag. Adding frozen spinach to food as it cooks is one of the easiest ways to up your nutrients. You can also freeze other vegetables, just make sure you cut them up first.

Crock Pot/Slow Cooker

Every Witch Needs a Cauldron, and these are Electric Cauldrons. Prices vary mainly based on the size you want. There are different brands, different colors; you can even get some in the theme of your favorite fandom. But they all have the same 3 core settings: High, Low, and keep warm.

Slow cookers are....well, slow. Which is great for certain kinds of food that need to sit for a long time, like meats. But it's also great for Kitchen Witches with a lot going on. Non witches will "Set it and forget it" but it's a good idea to stir every once in a while. Which is where the magic comes in. So, if you're a scatter brained Witch, Like me, or have ADHD and have trouble focusing, an electric cauldron might be for you. Throw everything together in 15 minutes, then give it love and attention when you remember. Normally that happens when you start to smell the food.

Again, this is my preference. Some Kitchen Witches I know prefer to identify a specific pot as their cauldron. Some went and got an actual full size, cast iron cauldron; which is amazing but not feasible for most. I grew up using a slow cooker, so I'm very comfortable around one. But if it's not your thing; that's fine. Maybe your cauldron will be a rice cooker or a Boston Shaker.

[delta-gambit-au]

Still alive, still jobless and living through hell, but I'm hanging there, not sure for how long. This Darkner will keep pressing onwards even if he needs to work as cleaner of decks on a sinking ship.

My commissions are open ad infinitum for anyone else interested into sending some kromer in my general direction and receive a goodie back ➡ Commission List

As for other things, I've been advancing the coding of the visual-novel in Python. It works. It only needs that I start to add my art and my stories. Time is not being a good mistress, I can barely have some for my things, as I keep doing stuff for everyone else and not for myself because I'm an indentured serf right now.

I've been considering turning this blog into a more "generic" blog for things related to my art, and move my blog project to a community, where I can post my brainstorming, half-baked sketches and ideas for the plot. I called it "Delta-Gambit Waiting Room", because I know the wait is going to be very long until I manage to find some stabilization in my life so that I can put more focus on my project (and finish the 3D things I've pending). I'll keep posting finished things on this blog though, but the rest of the dev-log would be moved to the community blog.

And for other RL related stuff, if you are curious just click below for the long form. For anything else, this is the short update about the status of the Deltarune AU: still working on it, but not as much as I wish I could (and I shall not stop because it's my life's passion to finally publish this AU for all and sundry to enjoy).

See you next year, with any luck. As long as I can get water for me and milk for Spamton, I think I'll be able to survive the turning of the year 👋

Edit: I forgot to add, I'm preparing the channel of YouTube that will contain the animated shorts based on your interactions with my characters through Tumblr, and to upload prototypes of the AU's story. With that format I aim to usher people into meeting the characters and to get them to know them better. Until I can upload the first video I'm still creating, I'll not disclose the link to the channel. I know it's hard to wait for content to land but I'm doing my utmost to find some time to advance everything into the right direction. Le patience.

I've been in paperwork hell for a month. Signed for food assistance during the last week of November, and after 3 weeks going back and forth trying to gather all the papers that assures the townhall that I don't get enough money to pay the bills and buy food and water at the same time, I'm still in the "waiting" part, if the townhall is going to call me to say yes or nay to my plea for assistance to get food, I'm not sure if it will be before the end of the year...

On the other side, gathered the same papers to get food from a local charity group who might give me food and water in a more readily manner than waiting for the townhall to start giving me scrips to exchange for the same products at a supermarket. I've hopes this group will help more swiftly. I'll be heading tomorrow with the papers towards the pantry they have in town.

I'm also scrambling to get a local job, anything, I don't mind if I work on the fields, farms, cashier, whatever. Apparently my online certificates has 0 value locally, and I need to pay for courses to get local certificates to get local jobs. My most urgent ones are to get certified in English and get Food Handler license too (as most of the jobs I was offered up so far required this essential). I don't have money to renovate my driving license (nor a single vehicle to my name since I needed to sell my car), and I'm going to apply for some scholarships around May (with any hopes).

This means that the "paradise" of going full freelancer online is a paradise no more. After so many years, one finally understands that AI took over most of the gigs we were in charge to keep, and we can't get into a 4th month without a job waiting for a company to have mercy of us humans.

So, life not being any lenient with me. Once the tap is closed, no more water will run and you need to look somewhere else. The only problem is that getting the certificates will not be cheap, and it will take long as for English for example is like 6 months per course (mostly I'm aiming to become a chamberlain in a hotel or a bellboy at least and English is requirement), but at least Food Handler is something that can be acquired within the day, but I still need confirmation for a few things from my local employment agency before even applying for it, which sucks because time is not running in my favour.

Currently I'm living with a person that is here just to make sure I don't end homeless. Nothing else, is very bad company, taking advantage of my precarious situation to post herself as my owner. Living with a narcissistic person that regards you as a failure and treats you like a servant, is making this indentured hell a far worse inferno. The roasting is daily, she mocks my genre dysphoria and the stress is so unbearable I got sick a few times (mostly problems with my brain not working and inducing me some manner of seizure that disabled me from laying down horizontally for 4 days -- needed to sleep in a sit'd position for 2 days). Is not a good life, but I need to endure through this opprobrium to avoid being tossed to the dumpster.

I keep praying for better times. This year had good highlights, but most of the year were just foreshadowing that I was going to become stranded and kromerless. That my computer started to break apart at the most untimely moment also seemed like salt added to the wound of the foreshadowing. I'm still GPU-less, and drawing with the Motorola phone as better as I can to keep up with the 2D commissions, but overall, still not the best source of income (and I'm not sure if it is because I'm not popular enough to get customers, or really my art style sucks too much to be worth half a kromer).

That's another reason I want to upload my other generic art to this blog, just to demonstrate that I can art. It does sound like the words of a desperate salesman, doesn't it? At this rate I should not be above drawing smut, if that will get me more customers but... really, not my cup of tea, but if I must, why not. Beggars can't be choosers, right?

Thanks for reading to the bottom. Until then, see you next post (I'll try to make sure that there is another post). It's possible that I'll be more active at the community for stuff related to the AU. You are welcome to take a gander there if you want, and I apologize in advance for the trickle of content from my part.

[ty-loves]

The Getaway House Granite Falls🌲

Nestled in the foliage of Granite Falls is The Getaway House. These dual identical cabins allow campers to be up close and personal with nature. They may not look like much from the outside but with large floor to ceiling windows, a dark and cozy interior, and loft style bedroom, this lodging is perfect for couples or singles looking to get away from their everyday lives.

Lot type: Vacation Rental (can function as a rental in residential worlds with for rent EP)

Lot Size: 30x20

2bd 2bath, Lot Traits/Challenges: natural light, romantic aura, study spot, simple living

Location: Granite Falls

EA ID: ty_loves415 (include custom content to find build)

TOU: PLEASE DO NOT REUPLOAD OR CLAIM AS YOUR OWN. credits are appreciated

CC list under the cut, Thank you all CC creators

CC free version also uploaded. Required packs listed under the cut. Please use bb.moveobjects when placing lot. Please feel free to tag me if you use this build :)

EPs Used: Get Famous, Growing Together, Get Together, HS Years, Discover Uni, Seasons, Cottage Living

GPs: Outdoor Retreat, Jungle Adventures, Spa Day SPs: Nifty Knitting, Laundry Day, Home Chef Hustle,

Kits: Modern Luxe, Everyday Clutter, Greenhouse Haven

(NoCC build also uses the following packs/kits: For Rent, Horse Ranch, My Wedding Stories, Paranormal Stuff, Little Campers Kit, Blooming Rooms Kit, Desert Luxe Kit, Courtyard Oasis Kit, & Book Nook Kit)

CC Used:

Charly Pancakes: Lavish (decor shoes)

Snootysims: Pantry Haven

Peacemaker- Bowed Living

Joyce- #8 Simple Live Collection

bbygyal123- Balance collection

lilaccreative- "That Sim" Essentials

Syboulette- Jules Bedroom

Tuds- Beam Kitchen

MAX20- Kitchen Appliances Pack 1&2

MadamRia- Limber Lumber Floors Recolor

Myshunosun- Lottie Bedroom, Simmify Music Nook

AwingedLlama- Nostalgia Living Stuff, Boho Living

Little Dica- Sleek Slumber, Greasy Goods, H&B store

Sixam CC- Teen Bedroom, Dreamy Outdoor, Hotel Room

Piersim- MCM House, Auntie Vera's Bathroom, Unfold, Woodland Ranch, Oak House, David's Apartment, Domaine Du Clos

House of Harlix- Coastal Collection, Spoons, Octave, Shop The Look, Shop The Look 2, Fayun, Harluxe Resort, Orjanic, Living Rum, The Kichen, Baysic, Jardane, Tiny Twavellers