#panic or stress or both.
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Nervous Caine my beloved, you draw him so well
Thank you!! Get very used to seeing him that way-
Despite being an AI, Caine displays a lot of anxiety and self deprecating symptoms, and being an AI, he does NOT know how to handle these feelings healthily. Also since I HC him as autistic, or displaying symptoms akin to autism, it makes understanding these negative emotions much harder, as well as expressing them.
Thankfully, he finds comfort in someone who really understands his feelings-
#the amazing digital circus#tadc#tadc au#tadc fanart#pomni#tadc pomni#caine#tadc caine#gamemaster kinger au#ig it counts as a semi vent bc today was stressful?#but I turned it into hurt/comfort last minute bc both Caine and I deserve it <3#been wanting to develop this side of caine for a while now too#pomni and caine sharing how they process meltdowns/panic attacks >>>#i love me some father daughter stuff rahhhh....
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Since the Geminis have been out in New York a couple of times, do their human disguises differ from the What Now Au?
I've shown off the Gemini's human disguises before, but I decided I wanted to draw them again, so--
Leo is usually very cool under pressure, and there aren't very many things that can rattle him... but wearing cloaking broaches is definitely one of them. Luckily, when one of them falters, the other always steps in.
Generally speaking, when they're at any public event, Leo leads and does most of the talking, and Donnie follows his cues and plays support. When they're in their human disguises, however, Donnie always takes control and puts himself out in front, bearing the lion's share of socializing for the night.
✩ the gemini ✩
#dont get it twisted though they both DESPISE being in their human disguises and will both be nearly sick from stress#it makes both of them absolutely unspeakably anxious and they HATE it but donnie takes it head on to protect his brother#leo will probably have at least one panic attack during the night and donnie will probably throw up at least twice from stress/sensory ick#at the end of it all theyll both crash HARD. but they take care of it. donnie has no intentions of letting leo get caught#leo feels hideously guilty for being so scared of being caught when donnie already has been. but. hes scared anyway.#gemini au#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#transphobia#tmnt#tmnt 2018#rottmnt disaster twins#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt donatello#rottmnt leo#rise donnie#rise donatello#rise disaster twins#rise leo#rottmnt au#rottmnt separated au#rottmnt sep au#rottmnt human designs
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how can you call yourself a man if you don't even have a minimum of 6 different kinds of knäckebröd in your pantry at all times. you will never satisfy a woman
#also throwback to 2 weeks ago when i by chance entered the grocery store at the same time as the middle aged surgeon from work#who looks like a washed out piece of wet paper and the human personification of a panic attack and whom i also am in love with since a year#most stressful experience of my life#we didn't say hello we didn't look at each other but we both noticed each other#i spent the next 20 minutes picking out impressive and dignified groceries#my love does my expensive assortment of gluten free knäckebröd entice you#do you want me#pickapost
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ive made myself more wet and pathetic
#new icon because im SUFFERING. im in HELL#its so bad. i had to sign out of discord so now im both lonely and stressed#because i KNOW im still gonna get dstracted. i just did making this URGH#how good are brains at working around things. i once set a 7AM alarm on my phone with snooze cause i was so sure my brain would#be too lazy and keep snoozing instead of actually turning it off. but nay it either kept sleeping through the alarms and snoozing#or actually managed to turn off the alarm half awake that i barely remembered it and then waking up late#i actually have a track record of climbing out of bed and turning my alarm off without remembering. which is impressive bc i have a loftbed#the other thing is setting fake deadlines so make myself panic into doing things ahead of time. but unfortunately that doesnt work either#because if theres one thing my brain will put all its energy into remembering its self assurance. meaning i WILL be able to remember#the real deadline even if i try to trick myself. cant ask someone to give me a fake deadline either#the only things keeping me going rn is that i have deadlines due at least 1 day between each other and excitement being able to talk with#crow after break. but you can see how well thats going <- ignores long term rewards in favor of short term pleasure#BTW CROW IF YOURE READING THIS IM SO SORRY TURNING OFF MY DISCORD WITH BARELY ANY EXPLANATION#im a huge fucking dumbass and i had barely enough impulse control not to block everyone in my dms because i realized that would send a real#really bad msg. youre not distracting me im distracting myself and i promise youre not annoying me i just really like talking to you and#thats why im just barely stopping myself from signing in. I WANT TO TALK TO U LOTS BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM KICKING MYSELF FOR DOING IT#you can be a little mad at me btw cause i definitely could have done that better but i was all over the place abt how to do it without#making u think im ignoring you. IF THAT MAKES SENSE. SORRY#yapping#doodles#puppysona#edit but last week i tried to schedule and give myself work periods and break periods using my class schedule#and reminders on my phone to tell me when to start and stop. can you guess what happened
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For posterity, Tumblr’s April Fools 2023
- You can add little emoji reactions to posts!
[ID: Screenshot of the bottom of a tumblr post, to show the interactive button present. At the start of the row for the “sharing”, “reply”, “reblog”, and “like” buttons, there is a new button shaped like a simple smiley face in the monochrome tumblr style. End ID]
Complete overview with screenshots under the cut! Everything saved except moving visuals and audio elements (they’re described though!)
- There’s 7 base reactions: bug, cheese, crab, four (this one’s noisy), ghost, horse (this one’s noisy), and socks
[ID: Screenshot of the bottom of a tumblr post. The smiley face is clicked on and a small menu showing the described emojis is attached under it. End ID.]
(Hovering over them causes a small black speech bubble to appear above them, saying the words transcripted above, in lowercase. The parenthesis for horse and four are included in their respective bubbles.)
- You can add them to the post in whichever order you’d like (reblogs seem to reorganize them though, in another order than the one shown above), and they’ll appear without any number on them. Once you’ve clicked on them once, they’ll count two clicks.
[ID: Screenshot of a tumblr post by yours truly saying “test”. It shows under the row of notes and “reblog”, “like”, etc buttons a row of the described emojis in simple oval delimitations. They’re in a different order than the one used for the menu. The bubble for the bug emoji includes the number 64 and the bubble for the crab includes the number 2. End ID.]
- Clicking on a reaction multiple times in a row makes a black circle appear above it with the number of clicks written on it. The number progresses as you click more as long as there's not significant interruption and the bubble grows with each click. I can only assume it has a maximum size and it unlocks something, but i've gone up to roughly 1700 in one go and i don't want to figure out autoclickers so somebody else is gonna have to find that out.
[ID: Screenshot of a post saying “test”. Some emojis reaction are shown under it, and a black circle with the number 62 in it, large enough to reach the top of the usual buttons row, is shown above the bug emoji. End ID.]
- It also activates the effects of each reaction.
- Bug does nothing but backflips, and stops at 70 458, the amount of votes it got in the original bug race poll
- Crab dances side to side and stops at 1000
- 4 makes speech bubbles written 4 appear. Various voices saying the word four in different languages play after about a dozen clicks, all of them very whispery, except one, saying four in a very casual tone. It stops at 444
[ID: Another test post showing the emoji 4 with the number 367 in its button. Blue speech bubbles with the number 4 written in it are shown clustered all over the post interface, blocking it from view. End ID.]
- Ghost makes post go progressively transparent and stops at 666
[ID: Screenshot of a post by yours truly saying “emoji reactions” with several interrogation points, showing multiple emoji reactions at the bottom, including the ghost one with the number 272 next to it. The whole post, including the user’s icon, is lower opacity than other screenshots and looks greyed out in comparison. End ID.]
- Cheese makes melted cheese appear on the top and bottom of your post and stops at 100 000
[ID: The same post, showing multiple emoji reactions, including the cheese one with the number 132 next to it. On the top and bottom edge of the post, varying drawings of melting yellow cheese are clustered, probably around 130 though they overlap too much to count. End ID.]
- Horse makes the horsie go (circular motion as a running horse would move) and plays galloping sounds. It stops at 500
- Sock makes green stink lines appear on your post and rise up until they fade away, stops at 1000
[ID: The same post, showing reactions including the sock emoji one. Squiggly green vertical lines in various opacities are shown over the post’s interface and text. End ID.]
- Maxing out a reaction or using it a certain number of times makes bonus reactions appear. Here’s all of them in one picture, all of them maxed out (at least the humanly possible ones)
[ID: A screenshot of the used reactions interface that shows up under a post. The crab emoji shows the number 1000. The ghost emoji shows 666. The cheese emoji shows 1228. The 4 emoji shows 444. The socks emoji shows 1000. Horse shows 500. Bug shows 3334. The next emoji is a picture of a bottle of vanilla extract, and shows 999. The next emoji is a drawing that ressembles a Pikachu with somewhat human proportions and glasses, it shows 19. The next emoji is a unicorn emoji showing 7. The next emoji shows the moon in its “new” phase, darked out, with the number 223. The next emoji is a cookie, showing 999. The next emoji is a drawing of a bust wearing a business suit and having a brick for a head. It shows no number. In two similar bubbles after that, the usual “share” button and the universal “no” red sign are shown. End ID.]
- Moon appears when you max out 4 and stops at 223
- Vanilla appears when clicking a lot on the crab (over 100 times?) and stops at 999
- Pikaman appears for some mysterious reason idk, jump and loops when you hover over it, stops at 19. After further investigation, it seems to either have multiple different but very convoluted ways to summon it, or to simply be on a randomizer. I still don’t have autoclick, sue me. After further explaining from the brick himself, Pikaman allgedly appears after a certain number of bug reactions. Either this number is inconsistent or another randomized action/combination of factors is needed to activate Pikaman.
- Unicorn appears when you max out the horse reaction, jumps and loops like pikaman, and stops at 7
- Cookie appears when you click a lot (over 100?) on the vanilla and stops at 999
- Brick appears either when everything is maxed out and both bug and cheese have hit 1000 or when you combo 1000 clicks in a row (on bug or cheese likely but might be achievable on crab or sock), is unclickable
- When you hit the maximum of a reaction on a streak, a message signed by Brick appears to tell you you can't go further
[ID: A screenshot of several popup messages on tumblr. All of them say “REACTION OVERLOAD! Unfortunately, you’re hit the max of reactions you can give. Loving the enthusiasm, though! - Brick”. End ID.]
- I have somehow gotten an error message signed by Brick. No idea how to replicate it. Editing after further testing, it seems to appear when the movement of the emoji makes clicking it impossible (the no symbol being visible) despite the maximum number not being reached.
[ID: An error popup message from tumblr, saying “Oh no. This is not working! But hey, I’m working on it! -Brick”. End ID.]
- The share button gives you a reblogging page with a generated image representing the reactions used on it and their corresponding numbers over a rainbow gradient background, as well as a little flavor text tagging @brickwhartley and two automatic tags. You’re free to modify this reblog though, and you can back out of the page.
[ID: A screenshot of a reblog by myself. Text reads: “REACT COLLECTION” in bigger letters, as a title. Next paragraph reads: “What a gorgeous flock of reactions I saw on this post! I simply have to share it with the world:”. Under it is a picture of several emojis from the available reactions of various sizes in random places of the image, floating next to numbers over a rainbow gradient background. Text under the image reads: “I am please. Thank you @brickwhartley!”. Under it, two tags are show, “#post reactions” and “#birck’s latest great idea”. End ID.]
- The no symbol only appears on your own posts and allows you to disable reactions. It will appear next to the usual “share” “reply” “reblog” “like” icons and you can click on it to reverse it.
TL;DR this was made up by manufacturers to sell more computer mouses. Hope you don’t have completionist tendencies. My hand hurts.
#post reactions#brick's latest great idea#april fools#tumblr's april fools 2023#april fools 2023#i don't know why but this thing triggered both the need to 100% it#and the archivist panic to make sure i recorded everything and nobody will miss out any information#10/10 experience i had a stressful morning and i needed to count some stuff to feel better#broadcasting my misery#sorry the image ID was a little late i thought i'd try editing it in with the new interface to make it less clunky#since the legacy editor isn't great at effects#but it doesn't work on my post so fuck it it's gonna be clunky#also put back an image i forgot
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Poth
My favorite ship I think
#undertale au#undertale#my art#palette sans#goth sans#poth#goth is shy#or stressed#or both#gay panic lol#palette is a dummie so he dont see anything lol
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I was surprised when I first heard people say the first Lord Peter Wimsey novels were too caricaturesque, because I don't remember a time I felt more identified with a character that when Lord Peter gets so focused, worried, and disturbed by his discovery of the nature of the crime in "Whose Body?" that he goes on a full blown PTSD attack. And then he is so very tired. And needs several days of rest to recover. But he's talking it in the exasperated philosophy of "going on a stupid little walk for my stupid mental health". Extremely relatable to me, whatever that says about my mental health state.
#like I had a bit of a crisis a few days ago and had to go to the polyclinic to get a sedative#(I am drinking sleepytime tea every day and having a very controlled intake of caffeine anyways)#and I absolutely knew this was going to happen with the stress of thesis writing and meeting deadlines#my brain interprets any stress tension as immediate severe danger#and it starts looking for causes and oh my doesn't it have a repertoire of apocalyptic scenarios both domestic and cataclysmic#And I manage it most of the time#but the balance act itself is tiresome#And as real as the panic feels every single time in its reasons#and as hard as I have to struggle to convince myself it's just my brain reacting in pathological ways#I'm so tired and so tired of it making me tired#but we plod on#through the cycle of#what happened to me when I was a teen was indeed traumatic and part of it remains unprocessed#and it wasn't traumatic and you are just a forking wuss#Anyways if nobody gets my my man Lord Peter gets me
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every time i read a story where a parent dates their child’s teacher i’m like can i please have a scene where they check the school system’s rules for this. i’m nervous
#tea reads tag#tea reads fic#for both <3#just like. sometimes you aren’t allowed to. and im STRESSED#sometimes just wait until the school year ends I’m WORRIED OVER UERE#like the author probably doesn’t want my overwhelming feeling the whole time to be panic#if that is good for them I DONT THINK IT IS#not pjo#chitter chatter
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mick the type to help someone pass their drivers test and then get mad when they make mistakes.
(specifically tommy…)
#mötley crüe#mick mars#tommy lee#he’d act like tommy’s about the kill the both of them just because he didn’t stop at a stop sign#just imagining tommy crying his eyes out cause he’s stressed out and micks screaming at him cause he missed a left turn#he’d only make it worse because he’d panic and that would make you panic#crüe headcanons
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I went to the aquarium again the other day and there was this snapper fish that had all these spots and stripes on it, and it was the exact colour of Shuu’s hair. I love moments like that - when I see him in something.
Like hydrangea flowers - some of them are pink, but if you get one the right shade, then it’s this undefined emulsion of blue and purple. Or when the sunsets on certain days? Where the blue sky meets the pink? It makes the colour too. It’s that colour, it’s so indescribable. I see it quite a lot in fish, though - fish and flowers. Quite a few of them have that colour. I think I began to subconsciously associate Shuu with aquariums because I see him in them.
There used to be all that petty fighting about Shuu’s hair colour. Whether it was always blue and the anime was like soooo wrong, and all that. So I think because of that, I consider Shuu’s hair colour to sit in the middle. Whenever I see one specific reproduction of blue-purple or purple-blue, or where the colours meet and don’t quite mix - that’s the colour, to me. It’s quite rare, but it exists in nature, and when I see it I get quite emotional.
I think things like that are quite wonderful. It’s so strange to see something that makes you happy mix with another thing that makes you happy. I don’t think I feel so serene anywhere else.
#On the shuu’s hair colour debate:#It started as purple. But some early illustrations do lean into a bluer palette (ig which is closer to the colour i like).#But even when it leaned into blue i still feel it’s very much a lighter purple with more blue.#In re and later illustrations - his hair is blue. Like no argument. In re it’s blue.#So both are correct. In a sense#i hc that his hair went such a way bc of stress and malnutrition.#Eds fuck up your hair and everyone knows that#Mostly they make it fall out and go brittle but this is tg so#Tg characters face one minor inconvenience and start using manic panic as a means of psychological defense.#A manic panic homeostasis of sorts#It’s not serious but the shuu hair colour debate is so dumb and inconsequential to me like. Just look at the illustrations.#If you think one is more correct than the other then just use that one - it’s not wrong who gaf!!!!!#shuucore#gunk#shuu tsukiyama#tg gunk
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Also it feels so good to be taking classes again even though the subject is human development and at-home care instead of literature or religion. I'm nervous about the practical skills exams, especially for very personal tasks, but I'm just going to do my best and leave it at that.
#a sock speaks#work tag#I'm working for 2 clients this month. scheduling around my training#a lot of it is shopping and errands which is a lot of fun for me#but also it forces me to practice driving with a passenger and parking in tricky places. I make a lot of mistakes but it's been good for me#one major reason I considered this job is that I knew it would push me to learn life skills#I'm so so scared of violating HIPAA or getting into a car accident with a client in the car or accidentally getting a client sick or or or#but it's good to face my fears. this is through. this is the way out.#I've also had the thought that this training will help me be prepared as my parents age. they're in their mid sixties now#and will probably both need to retire soon. I want them to be able to relax and only work if they want to#I don't want to panic if/when they need care. I want to be capable of taking on responsibility when needed.#I feel so much more like a real adult in this job. I think some of my work anxiety is learned#like I start out anxious in a new job or school program bc I'm new. but then I stay anxious bc I've learned that anxious is how to feel#in that role#but so far I'm doing better at staying calm and treating myself more like an adult#and other people also seem to be treating me more like a real adult. please please please let this be transferable to other contexts.#local construction#my mental health has also been decent so far this month despite the intensely busy schedule#I'm really thankful for that. far less stressful caring for one person at a time than bouncing between 2-6 tables at a time
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lesbians
that is all
#pokemon#doodles#gardevoir#ceruledge#wassup i’m an edgy bitch ceruledge is my favourite of the charcadet evos#also i’m just…a sucker for gay princess x knight trope#bonus if both are very capable and it’s just a panic dynamic#anyway violet x la’vour my beloved. on par with my shockstar x pastelle#i’m that bitch that ships my own pokemons together what of it#violet is a real edgy bitch. she is a tough gal taht absolutely crumbles with affection.#la’vour is a calm but glass cannon. hurt her loved ones and see what happens :). she dares you#violet frequently drops the braincell not because she’s dumb but because socialising and feelings are not her forte#she’s trying bless her#also ft my lil grafaifai! his name is doodle :)#he’s a menace i love him my fucked up lil guy <3#Doodle @ Violet: I know what you are cringefail#Doodle @ La’vour: C’mon do it. hurry up. just do it.#also excuse these doodles i’m very sleepy and stressed#doodling self indulgence to feel better
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My body is trying to tell me something but it forgot to turn subtitles on
So there’s just a lot of squinting and nodding on my part at it like oh yes I Understand
(Much like when anyone gives my adhd ass long or complex Verbal directions)
(I do not understand)
#my bloodwork is all so good guys I just don’t get it#was it a panic attack? both intial times were preceded by a stressful alarm and nightmare respectively#is my liver doing its dance? I am achey In that way tonight#what am I doing wroooooong#still going to key west and gonna cling to that resume normal level of activities#and make lifestyle changes but. bruh#lassie what are you trying to tel me??
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guess i've been under way more stress than i thought and/or i've been coping way, way worse
i'm actually almost out of xanax for once lmao
#i've used nearly 30 of them in the last 10 months#this sounds laughable about 'almost out' but like#usually i end up with a 30-pill prescription and it EXPIRES with most of the bottle still there#(i have asked for less they never give it this time that's good)#because just knowing that it's there if i'm having a panic attack i can't handle#does a lot to actually help me ground myself and deal with things#so basically the problem is that i am either coping WAY worse or something is way more stressful compared to usual#both of those are problems that need to be addressed which is why this is Worrying#also i only have a handful left and i don't see my doctor until like a month from now so.#50 shades of personal
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I wish we were all love and peace exploring the outer stars together loving each other all so much amongst the euphoria of discovery and the never ending adventure of planets and cosmos full of special and meaningful moments shared and there is nothing wrong we are going to chart every corner of the universe together and enjoy being together so much that we will have no time or memory for problems, but only love and exploration ✌️
i cant today lets do it tomorrow
#listen to cloud 9 by chouchou i like that song and the lyrics are kind of like thisss#one time i had an lsd thing where i thought my time on this earth was now over like im waking up from a dream and my realer form was some#sort of entity that was in perpetual conversation wit another entity and we both kept diving into living a life as a dream and then telling#the other about our time we had. that was like charting something too#this was when i was more pressed abt not feeling real and stuff i had panic attacks abt it but nowadays i dont stress it cuz it dont matterr#tw unreality#hehe#thanks for the message dear today has been unpleasant for me this doesnt cure it but its cute
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Stress
Nooshy, hanging out in Ryan and Johnny’s hotel room: I just have this weird pain towards the front of my head and I don't know why.
Ryan, dismissively: Oh, that's just a stress headache. I got my first one when I was five. Don’t worry, you'll be fine.
Johnny, extremely worried: Nooshy, go lay down, and Ryan, are you ok mate???
#sing#sing 2#sing ryan#sing nooshy#sing johnny#the dance trio#rynny if you squint and turn your screen upside down#ryan was an extremely stressed out kid. like constantly stressed out#nooshy was immediately dragged back to her hotel room by johnny accompanied with their dad's panic on a phone call#johnny proceeded to make tea for both of them
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