#pancake satan

[t0rence]

PANCAKE SATAN

[leoreadss]

Do you know what adulthood means?

It means It's 3:10 in the morning, you can't sleep, and the fanfic you've been reading for the past hour and a half is so good you literally have to force yourself to put it down when all of a sudden you remember you're on your own, you have free will so you take a shower, blast your fav Girl in Red song in your earbuds, go to the kitchen and make the fluffiest gluten-free, chocolate and peanut butter pancake you've ever made, go back to the computer and decide to open blender to work on that scene you really want to make.

That. That's what adulthood means.

For those who wonder, no I did not take a picture of the pancake, I was very much hungry.

I did take a picture of the scene I'm working on so here it is.

Could you imagine what it would be?

After writing this post, it's now 3:39, the pancakes have been eaten, the scene has been updated, the photo has been edited and I think I'm tired.

[levia-chan]

*MC has been moping all week and Solomon doesn't understand why*

Solomon: Um, MC, listen, did something happen? You haven't been yourself lately.

MC:...

Solomon: Honey, please tell me what's the matter. I will do everything to make you stop being sad!

MC:.. Maslenitsa...

Solomon: Maslenitsa? Oh.. *Solomon remembered that at this time in the homeland of the MC there is such a holiday as Maslenitsa*

MC: *they seemed to droop even more*

Solomon:...

Solomon: Well, let's go on Maslenitsa!

MC: Can we? We have a lot to do.

Solomon: We've been working too hard lately. We need a rest. I think they will be able to figure it out for themselves :)

MC: Hooray!!! *shone like the sun*

*MC and Solomon had a great time, but some people didn't like their absence*

Lucifer: So, can you explain why you went to the human world?

Asmo: Solomon, MC, how was your date~? I need more details!

Mammon: Asmo, stop! And anyway, why were you with Solomon of all people?! You could have asked me to come with you!!

MC: We were on Maslenitsa!

Lucifer: Where?

MC: On Maslenitsa! This is such a holiday. Today was the last day, and I couldn't miss it!

Solomon: Yeah :). We ate pancakes and went through various contests together *He grinned, knowing that this angered the brothers*

MC: *nodded vigorously in confirmation*

MC: And we also rode a chariot!

Solomon: We also burned an effigy.

Lucifer:...

Beel: MC, did you eat pancakes without me? *Sad sounds of Beelzebub*

MC: Don't worry, I brought some with me. Here you go!

Beel: Thank you!! *Happy sounds of Beelzebub*

Mammon: I understand everything, but why burn a scarecrow?!?

MC: This is to spend the winter and meet the spring!

Levi: Errr, people are so weird.

Mammon: Who would talk!!

Levi: And what's that supposed to mean?!

*The House of Lamentation has become noisy again*

MC: Oh, and here we are again. Not a moment's peace.

[xayspancakeee]

so apparently someone has reached affinity level 145 with xavier and uploaded it to YouTube.

i am a strong woman and shan’t fall victim to temptation. ✊🏻

[da-shrimping-station]

PrettyBusy owes me 3 things (personally):

their response to the Nightmare Pancakes & paywalled Beel Bath card

Lucifer's Selfie card (when will it be available in the lesser key gacha damnit i want the old man)

Main Story CH 6 (because hello??? main story dry af rn and it's been months)

Congratulations on the Belphegor stans tho! And good luck on your pulls! GET YOUR MAN!!! ✨✨✨

but personally I'm still giving PB the side-eye from my lil shrimp tank 🙄 😶

[satans-no1fann]

satan birthday chat image

[sk3llyr4yr4t]

[captainpirateface]

[hellparchive]

[anamelessfool]

i hope y'all don't dox me based on how often my characters visit diners

[devildomwriter]

Fun Facts 831-840

• Beelzebub once pointed out to Solomon that his name sounded similar to salmon. Solomon just made a weird face at him.

• Solomon notes that when Mammon is supposed to be walking Cerberus it looks more like Cerberus is walking him

• Diavolo doesn’t have a favorite season and loves them all equally.

• A majority of Asmodeus’s homescreen interactions in Nightbringer are him comforting player and letting them know that everything will be okay.

• Lucifer is concerned that Simeon is still convinced someone is trapped in his D.D.D.

• Lucifer and Satan like their pancakes the exact same way, believing they are best with magma butter.

• Leviathan told Belphegor that if he woofed at MC they’d do what he wants.

• Asmodeus sometimes does Luke’s hair and nails for him.

• Many of the characters refer to MC as a lamb including Lucifer, Barbatos, Simeon, and Asmodeus whereas Satan refers to them as a kitten

• Flame salamanders don’t seem to like Mammon which confuses him since they seem to be especially fond of Simeon and Diavolo

821-830

[ifearzombies]

Things You Do Living At The HoL

1- Whenever you make yourself food in the kitchen you make three servings. One for you and two for Beel. Beel will smell it and you can never, ever not have something for him.

2- You buy every magazine Mammon is featured in. He makes royalties off of that and you want to support your first man in everything he does.

3- You check on Lucifer’s office every night. You either are bringing him coffee, offering to help, or are ushering him to bed depending on what he’s working on.

4- You text Diavolo, Barbatos, and the PH group every night to tell them you love them and that you’ll see them tomorrow since you can’t say goodnight in person most nights.

5- You find yourself saying “God” a LOT less. Either the angels are offended because you’re using their father’s name in vain. Or the demons are offended because you’re mentioning someone who hates them/their father they hate. It’s almost eradicated from your vocabulary.

6- When in the Human Realm and you see religious people you have to walk by them quickly because you can’t tell them how much you know about God, Demons, and the afterlife.

7- On nights you can’t sleep, you find yourself in the kitchen either talking to Beel or making food for him. You cherish those late night talks.

8- When Levi has a raid planned and you can’t stay with him, you check on him as much as possible to see if he needs anything.

9- You gave up trying to clean Satan’s room. But you DO check to make sure he’s not buried under books. Again. You’ve found him a few times under a bookalanche.

10- You make sure to tell Asmo he’s beautiful at least once a day. He pouts if you don’t.

11- You make sure Belphie wakes up long enough to do his schoolwork on days he does virtual schooling. On days he goes to RAD, you check to see how he’s doing.

12- On days you are in charge of dinner (volunteering or scheduled), you tend to make foods that are easy to make in bulk. Spaghetti, pancakes, quesadillas, and so forth. Not just because of Beel’s appetite (though that is the main reason), but this is a house of 7 men who are pretty fit. They all have a very healthy appetite. Plus there’s ALWAYS a chance for the PH group or Diavolo & Barbatos to come by.

13- You don’t lock the door when you use the bath in the main bathroom of the HoL. In the event someone desperately needs the toilet/sink in there, you don’t want to get up out of the water to open the door. Too much hassle.

14- You have a specific spot you sit at in the living room. The demons are weirded out by you have a particular spot you like, but they’ve avoided sitting there so that they’re never in the way.

15- You look at the sky to tell the time. You’ve started to figure out when it’s day or night depending on the moon’s positions and the stars in the sky. Specific hours still require a watch/clock. But day or night, you’ve got it mostly down.

16- You keep a shelf of books in your room for Satan. They’re mostly cat mystery novels since he loves detective novels and cats. You steal them back from his room, though, so he can’t add them to the mess that is his room.

17- You check on the pranks for the Anti-Lucifer League and work with them on good times for pranks. You’ve explained that if he’s not busy with something important, it’s more aggravating to him. They don’t believe you, but they sometimes listen to you when you ask them to hold off on a prank.

18- You tend to ask Mammon and Satan to go grocery shopping with you. Mammon can find the best deals and Satan is knowledgeable about what’s freshest in the store. Beel eats while he shops and groceries are more when he’s there. Belphie gets tired, Levi complains the whole time, Asmo just looks at reflective surfaces and slows the process down, and Lucifer is usually too busy.

19- You don’t watch porn. You can’t. Asmo can tell when you do because he can just sense when you’re horny and he tells EVERYONE. It’s embarrassing and sometimes you just want to have some self service time rather than end up in a wheelchair!

20- The wheelchair. It started as a joke from Solomon, honestly. Teasing that you likely have so much intimacy you struggle to walk. Diavolo didn’t realize he was joking and actually bought it for you. So you do actually own a wheelchair at the HoL. It’s in your closet, all charged up (Diavolo sprung for a fancy motorized one). When you feel like messing with the brothers, you’ll break it out and use it around the first floor and then they get to try and figure out who made you use it. It slightly backfires if anyone comes to visit though.

Solomon starts flirting and stating that he’d like a turn to make you use it. Simeon turns redder than a tomato. Luke gets mad and yells at the demons for hurting you, assuming they’ve injured you by their fighting (NO ONE IS CORRECTING HIM FOR FEAR OF ANGERING SIMEON). Barbatos frets over you being injured. Diavolo just teases you and asks if the chair is comfortable enough.

[books-and-catears]

Solomon: I have been having a strange feeling lately...

MC: What feels strange?

Solomon: For the past few days, people have been nicer than usual lately, even Barbatos is quiet rather than insulting to my face like usual.

MC: Is that so?

Solomon: Yes even Lucifer and the others seemed less irritable when I asked if you could take a few days off from working at HOL, usually they make such a fuss!

MC: That's great news, isn't it? Finally they are treating you with the respect you deserve. Now you relax your head while I get dinner started.

Solomon: *staring at MC* How odd....

Luke: Solomon, psst! Solomon!

Solomon: Luke? What are you doing at the window? At this hour??

Simeon: No worries I'm with him.

Solomon: Simeon too? Goodness...what is going on?

Luke: MC got angry is what happened! They cast a spell on the entirety of HOL, RAD and even the Demon Lord's Castle!

Solomon: What? But I didn't detect any malicious magic in any of those places.

Simeon: Yes well...that's because the spell is meant to affect anyone else but you.

Luke: MC cursed anyone who dares to badmouth you to lose their voice for 3 days. And if they still try to communicate something bad about you, they will immediately get a sharp stinging pain within their throat.

Solomon: ...

Solomon: *blushes and bursts out laughing* MC! Ahahhaah!

MC: *annoyed* Have things gotten so bad at HOL lately that the angels have come to rat me out?

Simeon: MC please you have to lift the curse. Luke, Raphael, Asmo and I are the only ones who can talk in the house.

MC: Wait even Beel?

Simeon: No he still has his voice, he's just silent to be in solidarity with Belphie.

Luke: And every time anyone else needs something, it turns into a game of charades!

Luke: Yes! Only yesterday it took us an hour to figure out that Mammon was asking us to hide him from Lucifer and not a huge five horned monster with large nails and teeth!

Simeon: And Asmo who is actually faster at understanding his brothers asks them to do his errands in exchange for help. It's an utter mess.

Solomon: Pfft-

Luke: And the other day we accidentally gave Satan salt instead of sugar for morning pancakes and he destroyed the kitchen so we could only eat takeout!

MC: *smiling triumphantly*

Simeon: And uh...we also have a letter from Diavolo who is currently in detention. Apparently he has been misinterpreting Barbatos's orders of finishing his work on purpose and sneaking out of the castle!

Luke: Please MC, living in a house with 7 demons is already hard enough!

MC: ... alright very well. I'll go dispell the curse tomorrow morning. You can eat here today, I'm making dinner.

Luke: Yaay! No more instant ramen!

Solomon: *leaning on the kitchen door watching MC work*

MC: *humming happily*

Solomon: Hey MC

MC: Yes Solomon, from outside the kitchen please.

Solomon: ...I love you too.

MC: *blushes and looks away*

[imauthicktic]

Slenderman: Y/N so about your soul you sold to satan

Y/N: no refunds

Slenderman: please it’s scaring him

-----------

Toby: look, I know you think my judgement is a little bit clouded cause I like Y/N

Masky, holding Toby's diary: you doodled your wedding invitation

Toby: no, that's our joint tombstone

Masky: my mistake

-----------

Y/N: I'll never talk!

Hoodie, sharpening a knife: I have ways of making people talk

Y/N:

Hoodie: *cuts a piece of cake*

Y/N: ... can I have some?

Hoodie: cake is for talkers

----------

Y/N: (shaking a magic 8 ball) does EJ like me?

Magic 8 ball: not likely

Y/N: Oh...

EJ, with their head on Y/N's lap: we've been married for 8 years

----------

Ben: what kind of guys do you prefer?

Y/N: my husband

Ben to Jeff: and what kind do you prefer?

Jeff: Y/N's husband

Y/N to Jeff:

----------

(After having sex in the kitchen)

Laughing Jack: that was a creative use of pancake syrup

Y/N: I can’t look Mrs buttersworth in the eye ever again

[neiveel3llson]

Obey Me! Incorrect quotes

Diavolo trying to convince MC to continue being the babysitter:

NB Diavolo: "What are you talking about MC? You love it here!"

NB MC: "I'm not sure I do, I think I've just developed Stockholm syndrome."

Solomon being an old ass man:

NB Solomon: "The dinosaurs didn’t rule the earth they were just alive. Stop giving them credit for administration skills they didn’t have."

Satan for no reason at all:

NB Mammon: "Do I sound smart, or am I smart? "

NB Satan: "You sound unbearable, to be perfectly honest."

Leviathan being depressed:

NB Lucifer: "How are you today?"

NB Leviathan: "Please don’t make me think about my life."

Beelzebub being.. Beelzebub:

NB Beelzebub: "My stomach growled super loud in French."

NB Beelzebub: "I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class."

NB Leviathan: "Bonjour."

NB MC: "Le growl."

NB Mammon: "Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette."

NB MC now that they're a demon:

NB MC: "I am literally evil incarnate."

NB MC: "I’m not actually, I just enjoy being evil."

NB MC: "Which I think actually makes it even more evil because I’m making a conscious effort."

Solomon can't cook:

NB Solomon: "I truly go into househusband mode when I'm someone's soulhousemate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning."

NB MC: "This is a lie."

NB MC: "I'm literally living with him. This is a lie."

NB MC: "HE DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS."

MC just wants to go home:

NB Solomon: "I think I'm falling for you."

NB MC: "Then get up."

Levi is sick of Satan:

NB Leviathan: "Satan is okay."

NB Beelzebub: "He's okay? He said he was going to break my legs! And don't tell me he didn't mean it, okay?! 'Cause he gave me the mackerel eyes, he meant it!"

NB Leviathan: "Beel, Satan threatened me. He threatens Lucifer every day. He probably threatened Diavolo before breakfast this morning. It's what he does. Grow a pair."

Levi self-deprocating:

NB MC: "I'm going the fight the next person who insults Levi."

NB Leviathan: "I hate myself."

NB MC: "Alright, square up."

When MC first came:

NB MC, referring to NB Mammon and NB Diavolo: "Those guys are dorks."

NB Lucifer: "Yes, but they’re my dorks."

Belphegor annoying Lucifer on purpose:

NB Belphegor: "Lucifer, we have a visitor."

NB Lucifer: "Don't tell me it's our babysitter.."

NB Belphegor: "It's MC."

Lucifer being sick of Mammon's shit:

Lucifer: "The greatest trick the diavolo's father ever pulled was changing his name to Mammon."

Mammon bc he's my fav pookie:

Mammon: "So... what would you do if you were in bed with me?"

MC: "Depends. Is your bed comfortable?"

Mammon: "Yes."

MC: "I'd sleep."

Thirteen is going insane:

Thirteen: "Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices. Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time."

Diavolo is far too concerned:

*after discussing a plan*

Barbatos: "Does anyone have any questions?"

Diavolo: "Is this legal?"

Barbatos: "Does anyone have any relevant questions?"

Satan loves to boast:

Satan: "I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Someone asked me what the Spanish word for "tortilla" was once, and now I dream of kissing them under the moonlight."

MC: "What kind of animal is the Pink Panther?"

Satan, already taking off his clothes: "God, MC, you’re so fucking stupid."

It probably wouldn't work anyways:

MC: "Here’s the cold medicine you asked for." *dumps 3 shopping bags of wine on the table*

Thirteen: "...Thanks."

Levi and Garfield:

Leviathan: "I once tried to play a pirated copy of Garfield Kart, when Garfield jumped out of my PC! We are currently married with three beautiful children and a summer room in the basement of HOL with Cerberus."

Math doesn't work:

MC: "Which is correct, seven and five is thirteen, or seven and five are thirteen?"

Thirteen: "Niether."

Thirteen: "Because it's twelve."

Venomous or poisonous?:

Lucifer: "If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous."

Mammon: "What if it bites me and it dies?!"

Lucifer: "Then you're poisonous. Jesus Christ, Mammon, learn to listen."

Diavolo: "What if it bites itself and I die?"

Lucifer: "That's voodoo."

MC: "What if it bites me and someone else dies?"

Lucifer: "That's correlation, not causation."

Asmodeus: "What if we bite each other and neither of us die?"

Solomon: "That's kinky."

Barbatos: "Oh my goodness."

:P done

[afraidofbee]

Soooo cuteeeeee 🐱🥞

🥞