#pam rambles

[ghostoftheyear]

It's been a year now (plus a month) since I woke up one morning with a floater in my right eye that cut off most of the vision there, and while that did (finally) go away, I think it's time I faced the facts that my vision is not going to significantly improve.

Though the floater cleared up, there have still been spots in both eyes that haven't gone away; they were there before, but the floater made me much more aware of them. Deciding to get an eye exam in August led to a two-day hospital stay due to the high blood pressure and diabetes, which has since essentially forced me to come to grips with the fact that not caring for my health was simply not an option anymore.

(When I went to the ER to see if anything could be done for the spots, aka the diabetic retinopathy, they told me they wanted to admit me because my blood pressure was so high it was a miracle I hadn't had a stroke. The nurse who checked my vision in the ER looked at me and said, disbelievingly, "You drove yourself here?!")

Since then, I've had multiple GP visits to steady out the BP, which has been getting much closer to normal, and three eye laser surgeries, which have helped somewhat -- there's no longer a weird blank spot in my right eye -- but at this point, that's probably as good as it's going to get.

And that's incredibly frustrating, you know? I was on a roll with my art, I was really loving where it was going. Now I'm still struggling to see things in proportion and draw accurately from the reference. Reading from printed material is still pretty much a no-go. My glasses help a bit, but not for every situation. I still could only make out about half of what happened in Dawntrail, and as it is I have no motivation to work on the 7.1 stuff because there is just no accessibility in game. I'm just grateful Veilguard had an option for a larger font size (plus, you know, it's all voiced so I can at least listen and know what's happening).

Anyway, that's where I'm at right now. Still surviving. Basically cut off from my family (didn't even get a hint of an invite for Thanksgiving from my brother). Not sure I'll be able to get another job due to the vision issues. Still trying to get Medicaid so I can see a psychologist and get an ADHD diagnosis. But still alive, and still want to be that way.

[ghostoftheyear]

When I was about twelve or so, our house was robbed.

Our parents were away on a business trip, and they had hired the daughter of a trusted friend of my mom's (the friend was also one of my teachers at school) to watch us overnight. During the night, the daughter woke my brother and me up, told us we had to go because there was an emergency, and took us to her mother's house. We didn't grab clothes or anything. I remember the teacher making us crepes in the morning.

After our parents came to pick us up and we got home, we fdound that the place had been thoroughly robbed. Computer equipment (new and expensive at the time) was taken, along with a TV and other things -- I'm sure some old silver was grabbed, maybe some of my dad's power tools. How convenient the thieves knew no one was home, right?

They were let in by the girl watching us. She called her boyfriend and a few friends, got us out of the house, and let them at it. I don't remember how they were caught, but it was pretty open and shut, and one of the guys was forced to pay restitution for a while after. I honestly look back on that event now with shock. I can't believe I still trusted the teacher afterwards; she had to know what her daughter did, and she still made breakfast for us in the morning like it was nothing. To this day, forty years later, I lock everything up no matter how briefly I'll be out of the house or the car. I am permanently scarred by this.

And I still don't go as stupidly fucking overboard as that woman in the video. That is some fuckin security theater bullshit. As paranoid as I may be, relatively speaking, I don't put a Ring camera on my door or security cameras everywhere. Because I also value my privacy and have no faith that something like that would actually protect me.

[moonferry]

doing a new save since 1.6 is now on switch!

and i decided to marry sam!!

i waited until year two so kent could be and the wedding and i do not regret it!

(except maybe the fact that the wedding was on kent's birthdya LOLLL)

bur anyway, here's the dialogue. kent's made me burst into tears.

also abby and penny had one, too!

but not sebastian, which i found odd..

[razzafrazzle]

another character from die as lovers may, my funney vampire story... had this design bouncing around in my brain for years honestly

[image description: a reference image for an original character named dr. pranali guin, a fat, older dark-skinned woman that has black hair with a white streak pulled into an updo. she is wearing a tight white dress with a cropped black jacket and an orange ribbon around her neck. next to her are blurbs stating that she is 55, that her pronouns are she/her, that she is an aroace woman, and the following: "acclaimed sexologist who is rather humorless. incredibly suspicious of rowan, but isn't quite sure why. not as stern as she looks. has really bad eyesight, but refuses to wear glasses out of spite. loves melodramatic soap operas and keeps a journal detailing every plot point in them. probably autistic." end id]

[reginalusus]

Possible hot take but I've always enjoyed the fact that Harvey seems to be immune to Pamela's pheromones and toxins. The only time we see this is in Dark Victory (as far as I'm aware):

Yeah, we get no explanation. Yeah, it's kind of silly, but I enjoy it. I'd like to see it be used more in comedic situations. I've seen people come up with reasons as to why it may be, one being that because half of Harvey's skin is burnt (including his nerves and such), that her secretion just literally wouldn't work the way it would with a physically normal person.

Additionally, the acid from the attack would have seeped into his skin, fucking his immunities up in all sorts of ways, therefore his pre-exposure to nasty shit would assist with such. Sort of like Joker.

Fair enough.

BUT, I like to think that, similar to Bruce - who in many cases can 'get over' Pam's thrall due to his sheer willpower and mindset - Harvey can do something similar. He is a man of two minds, two racing thought processes. So, sure, why not? Perhaps his mind is too 'busy' to even acknowledge something physical. This is even more amusing to me since I view him as a hopeless romantic (like, c'mon, when that MF crushes, he CRUSHES. Fucking wet cigarette of a man. /pos).

Pam is an exception to this, however, because her advances are not genuine, and Harvey already has experience 'dating' her and almost fucking died (that one BTAS episode).

Anyway, I would enjoy another scene in some DC media where Pam is trying to get Harvey under her control for whatever reason, and he just stands there like:

[e-adlirez]

Wellerman is stuck in my head so

So yes they are singing Wellerman in front of the campfire, they are vibing ✨

[unibeartoon]

TW/// TRAILER SPOILERS

How I feel waiting for kittykat x diane fanfics

[iliterallydecepticanteven]

Even though I know there isn't a snowball's chance in hell that we're gonna get Final Pam in the Fallout show, I like to think that because the show is set on the west coast and will presumably stay there, Final Pam is out there in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, causing chaos and destruction 💚

[ghostoftheyear]

ffs y'all there is no timeline for your life, there is no schedule. there is no entity going "you're 25 you should be out at the club partying" and "at 26 you should be hustling and building your career" or "if you're 30 you should at least have gotten married and had two kids already"

there is no universal timeline for human growth and development. yes we are put through education at certain ages but even that is flexible (I was skipped past kindergarten so I was a year younger than everyone in my classes). you can take a gap year after high school before college or not even go to college. you can be an introvert and not enjoy going out in your 20s -- and you shouldn't force yourself to just because you believe that's you're "supposed" to do. just because other folks your age may enjoy the thing doesn't mean you have to do it if it sounds repellent to you.

I beg you to think about whether you actually want or need to do the thing that you think society expects of you. you don't have to have kids if you don't want. you don't even have to get married if you don't want!

I never, ever got the point of going out partying or dancing. I'm not a sociable person. I would rather have a quiet night at home or with a few close friends than in a strange place full of nothing but strangers. getting out of my comfort zone HAS been worth it and there are times you should push yourself. but you don't have to be on the same timeline as everyone else. you're allowed to chart your own course.

I can't say I'm a perfect example because here I am at 51 with no job and no career training, no real idea where to go from here, but I've done interesting stuff nonetheless. do I regret not finishing college? sure. could I go back and finish it? probably, actually! (even though I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up...) but I never wanted to be a mom, never really found someone I truly wanted to be married to -- though again, that's not to say I never found love.

just... don't stress about it so much. you will be happier. I promise.

[faceeeeee]

Whenever I see your TADC employee AU I think of the the song "The Fine Print" by The Stupedium

I mean....

It checks out

[moonferry]

whenever i married penny in 1.6 pam threatened me and that was perhaps the only time i've had the fear of god instilled in me.

like she said "you better take care of my girl" at the end of her rant and i physically went "yes ma'am" even tho she can't hear me.

now i give penny an emerald every morning and she asks me if i've eaten and it's so AUGH i love my wife

[frazzledsoul]

It's really disheartening to me to realize that ever since The Office disappeared from Netflix it seems almost any kind of conversation I see about it on SM is overwhelmingly chauvinistic if not outright misogynistic and revolves solely around how Jim and Pam are Satan. I don't know to what extent the podcast and the BTS books influence this, but it seems all I hear is some variation of how their lives were ruined when they got married and had kids, Jim is a [redacted] for not cheating on Pam when had the opportunity, that they're the most awful, toxic people in the entire universe, that Roy should have throttled Jim for horsing around with his fiancee. It seems that this is all anyone is willing to talk about and it's so gross and dishonest and I definitely did not hear this kind of talk when the show was going on.

Granted, these two weren't my favorites, and that final season storyline is definitely an example of the writers needing to be stopped before they hurt themselves and ruin the legacy of the show, but...Jim.and Pam were not monsters, the infidelity they engaged in (the S2 kiss) was fairly mild, and their problems were pretty mundane and realistic. I just hate seeing them being constantly caricatured as the worst people alive.

[seaside-hysteria]

You do not understand how insane I am about Pam and Clive. Like, they’re definitely gonna make each other worse, but that doesn’t matter right now. Clive probably thought Pam was the last person he’d see before he died. Both of them are at rock bottom. They’re having the time of their lives. Are they friends or do they want the other dead? Who knows.

Also they’re coworkers and they have committed unbelievable human rights violations

Terrified for how their stories will end, but I’m gonna pretend they’ll end up happy

[jaddison]

one thing i appreciated about true blood is that even though the ending was kind of boring it was still really true to the characters. like yeah jessica was still not over hoyt. and yeah the entire premise of sookie and bill’s relationship was that it was eventually going to end in tragedy. and hell yeah are pam and eric the selfish assholes that deserve each other.

[pamaizai]

Hi, I'm quite new to tumblr, but I've found Your account through witcher tag, I love your style, a bit cartoonish, while also having a lot of details (like this OC version of witcher, i can't belive that you had so much patience for all those intriquete details). So I suppose that I can ask for something? So tell me abaut this OC of Your's - Pam. What are They exacly and what's Their story(sorry if you posted it earlier but i didn't scroll through it all yet . And a bit of offtop question, because i saw that You like Rats, what's your favorite breed and color type of rats?

Oh, thank you qwq I'll be honest, i myself had no idea i could do details like that. Drawing that armor was a first detailed thing i made. At first it was "i have to" because im a perfectionist that needs to draw as close to the original- but with each time i drew that armor i started to enjoy doing details with adding even more than previously. For example buckles on belt on first and latest wip artwork

I am actually in the process of drawing a fullbody with a sword (i was avoiding them until now and even made two versions with aerondigh and a silver wolf school one- at an angle i may add)

ALL RATS ARE GOOD NO ONE IS LEFT BEHIND! tho i have a soft spot for hairless and werewolfes <3 i myself owned in the past 3 girlies- hooded black dumbo, ivory and one with very light bristle coat with greyish spot(!) on back with black eyes- theoretically fitting lynx variation. I want to own rats again i miss my pocket puppies. Also yeah i have a weird habit of trying to name the specific variation of a rat haha

About who Pam is its… kinda complicated. Especially when its mostly a persona of mine but an oc with different story too . i do have a written backstory and lore but it was rewritten like 3 times and then dropped, but it still lives rent free in my head and as a txt file(s). I can say that Pam is a weird creature- he can be called partially a human,a monster, an animal, a bug,an alien… so a lot xD Aizai is at the same time a surname and a name of race they belong to. Think of it as colony of ants or bees- they make a one big family with a parent that they have to obey- and yes there is more than Pam in that "family". I took inspiration from masks, headcrabs from halflife, purebreed race from ben 10, bugs/ shrimp and more animals. about Pam specifically.. oh too much to tell and i actually dont want to start writing because i will hit text limit quickly (and because he has a lot of things im not yet comfortable about telling out of fear the sona thing is too true) And i drew some doodles that may explain some things about him.

[unibeartoon]

The yuri writes itself