#pain and suffering for 100000 years
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white knuckling this bipolar episode trying to stay so cool and nice

#waow ^.^ *gunfire*#lamictal is amazing beautiful magic but she can only do so much yk#the bipolar is bipolaring#and the bpd is bpding#and i am honestly not even being sarcastic when i say im handling this super well#irs just explosions and fire and evil inside my brain constantly but outwardly im like 🙃#pacing around my room saying thog dont caare thog dont caare thog dont caare#im honestly freaking tf out constantly im just being rly good abt dissociating super hard thru it lol#jk im NORMAL#and react normally to normal things like a normal guy!#bc im not crazy!!!!!#ah.#oughh..#pain and suffering for 100000 years#cutievents#blood tw
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this is such a dilemma ya'll. i know i have to be prepared for hard pity to hit me (YET AGAIN. lil crying marius, i love you but you really made me suffer. i still wanted you though so i had to get you.)
because this year for anni, i not only want marius but also....


LIKE HOW CAN I NOT?! artem's anni sss card is such a wonder, i am absolutely devastated, man. the pain of being a f2p player. i'm 100000% sure i will not get him.
forget having 4 dupes though for either marius or artem to completely unlock the interactions. i know mr. von hagen will make me hit hard pity & therefore, i will not have other ways to obtain artem...at least this year. unless, i will gamble away my savings when the re-runs happen the next years. so yeah....never have i ever been so conflicted like this, especially during anniversaries unlike this year.
#pls pls i just want my gacha luck to be just like what it was during the enduring light event...got 3 ssrs (luke ; artem ; marius)#without hitting hard pity#pls gacha gods for once be on my side#i will not ask for much even during the upcoming dragonbreath event#tears of themis#artem wing#marius von hagen
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JayKestrel or JayFlame?
You gotta pick one! 🫵 no poly
PAIN AND SUFFERING FOR 100000 YEARS FOR MAKING ME CHOOSE
hm. jayflame, tbh. i have a lot more ideas for it and the plot it can make as compared to jaykestrel, which for me (in my pre-firestar death lalaland) is almost entirely pure fluff SoL. jayflame has interesting things. the lake. that they start off as fake cousins. lionblaze killing russetfur. the whole sol plotline where flamekit was involved. etcetera. not to say i cant make plot with jaykestrel but im lazy and can make plot with jayflame easier ok?
and also, its less popular so i have to be the pioneer (again), which gives me a rare rush of 得意洋洋
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Hello my friends !
🍉I am a Palestinian from Gaza😭😭 , coming from an extended family ❤❤that have been suffering😭😭 for 300 hard days of an aggressive war. Our life is dire and tough as we lack all the basic necessities of life . Everything has become rare and hard to get.
So, I am asking you to help me keep my family safe and a life especially after we had lost all our livelihood sources.
please don't leave my family struggle and suffer these dire days alone. You can support my campaign by donating whatever you can or by sharing my posts to reach out to others who can help us survive the war to safety and peace. you help the souls of many people with your small contribution. ❤❤🍉🍉
Don't spare this moment to be beside us in this incredibly hard and tough times.
Vetted!!! Please help Mahmoud!
I am Mahmoud Ayyad, 26 years old, a Palestinian young man from Gaza. I come from an extended family of 43 members including my father , my uncles , my cousins , my aunts, my brothers & sisters , and my siblings" The Ayyad's family". My extended family has been forcibly displaced from our home located in the north of Gaza to the central part of Deir_elbalah seeking for peace and safety. Since the early days of the war, we have been forced to leave our houses under a life_threatening situation, leaving behind all our belongings, our valuable possessions and assets, thinking that the war wouldn't last for long and then would return , but the reality was against our expectation. The war has lasted almost for a year and nothing has changed. We have now lost all such things ; all our houses were completely destroyed and demolished and nothing has been left for all these members. We have moved from having everything to having nothing. Our houses have been painfully demolished and completely destroyed. Life as we know it has changed in the blink of an eye. The extended family members have become displaced, homeless and jobless. Our new small tents with no facilities and everything has become a great challenge and struggle. Now, we are suffering life_threatening situations with lack all the basic necessities such as lack of food, lack of clean water , lack of proper medicine , hygiene supplies, clothes, medical care, housing , and livelihood income. We are going through hell on earth where death, bombing and spread diseases are everywhere , and hepatitis in particular. No safe place exists in Gaza to escape to. So l am asking you our dear supporters to stand with us in these dire and hard days to help us survive and stay alive. We are now living in very small dirty tents in street lacking all means of life and getting the basic needs for all these people has become a struggle and a great challenge because Gaza is dying due to the fierce genocide over it. We need your support to relieve our sufferings and hardship till the black of the war pass. We will be very thankful and grateful for you if you support us either by directly donating whatever you can or sharing my GFM campaign link. Don't soare the moment of helping people in bad need to your help. Gazan families need your moral and financial support. At last I would like to show that we need this amount of $100000 to secure the basic needs for 70 people providing food, medicine, drink water, clothes and other necessities, and some will be used for rebuilding some of our homes. Remember you are the only hope and support who can ease our pain and relieve our hardship in time of need.
€170 raised of €100,000 goal Please, Please, let's do all that we can
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little venting on dash about ptsd, the portrayal of it in fandom and D.octor W.ho
okay not to suck intensely but I made the mistake of looking at the Doctor W.ho tag and I swear, the way tumblr talks about ptsd, trauma and shows where there is PTSD and trauma, is like... accidentally bound to make some real people's PTSD feel worse
the whole 'he has PTSD, he FAKES smiling, he's breaking down, he hides the pain behinf eveything is does' (especially said about a show that I generally associate with hope) is just... you KNOW people with PTSD can also be happy and really smile, right? WHILE suffering from it? And not just 'sometimes, but every day, and then yes, maybe they get triggered and are a nervous wreck for weeks, maybe a lot of their activities is with the purpose of feeling better *or* to escape feeling bad, they can overworry and have a negative view of every outcome of actions they take, they can avoid discussing things (or overshare!) and every person is different, just like the way they face whatever disorder they have is different.
My PTSD can lead me to 10 days straight of constant nightmares as soon as I close my eyes, which makes me sleep deprived and angry and teary, and has a constellation of symptoms that make hard to live in society, and I will still have hope and laugh, and it's not pretend-laughing. When I look at characters on tv with pts, every time a character is trying to deal with, either they *are* trying to hide pain or maybe they are just trying to live, but it doesn't make a difference, the fandom will say they are 100000% depressed and a bottomless pit of despair
and it makes me feel like... real people with PTSD who are just now learning they have it and what it is, will see this and think 'oh so that's how I'll end up, if I'm trying to be happy now it means I'm faking it and running from the inevitable' because damn it, I had to question myself a few times because of tumblr and I hate that I did, what more people with less self-awareness? Am I too happy? Does it mean it's not real and I'm avoiding the pain? No! PTSD is often accompanied by depression (which is not also a 'you can never smile' disorder) but doesn't come hand in hand with it, it's not automatic, and it's a bummer to watch my comfort shows only to read over and over how as soon as you got traumas your life is a forever tragedy and 'he has to heal!' -proceeds to discount everything he has done to do so, just because he still has avoidance (totally normal even if he's doing better, especially if traumas keep happening!) or hasn't fully healed yet (lots of people don't fully heal at all) and invalidates every second of happiness he has-
It feels like the opposite message of the Doctor, who says you smile because you know you'll be sad later. You really DO SMILE and then you are sad and then YOU SMILE AGAIN. Maybe you'll have an angry fit over something stupid later. Maybe you'll realize you are still hoping for everything to be better soon.
PTSD is heavy as hell for me, it's behind everything I do and think, but I can count on my hand how many time I have actually lost hope (temporarily), my breakdowns, and it just bothers me to read not only on D.octor Who but basically any show in which a character isn't broody about their trauma 'they are hiding their pain behind a smile' like yeah, SOMETIMES, sure, but other times we just smile, we still find things worth living for. Obviously there are people with PTSD who don't, but it's not a prerequisite of having PTSD. PTSD is trauma your brain can't elaborate, sometimes complex, sometimes it's part of how you grew up, it's not being unable to feel any happiness. And I feel like if the Doctor, thousands of years old, actually felt the way fandom thinks PTSD works, he'd have simply chosen not to regenerate no matter how much his friends begged, his story is about hope, not total despair, he keeps having bad stuff happening and being upset because it's a tvshow, if the show had ended with 14 he would have had a shot at being fine, unlike the Doctor described by the fandom, it's just that the season has to continue and if 15 is perfectly fine there are no emotional plots.
I guess all I want to say it... it bothers me that every single show, but especially the ones meant for children, are dissected and instead of a more complex view of pain and trauma that still involves, you know, will to live and some hope, I always have to choose between staying away from the fandom (though sometimes it's just for their weird takes due to shipping) or being subjected to metas that take away any hope and would make me not want to look at the show, because if you convince me that there is only pain and it's just too much to get better, I do NOT want to see that, I have enough in real life, thank you.
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My New Life Interrupted By A Ghost
Summary: A flash through some important moments in Omega's new, happy life with her greatly extended family.
Word count: 2.8k
Warnings: ⚠birth stuff, implied death, cursing⚠
A/N: Yo, I decided that Omega gets two wives, cause after writing this I discovered that Miara Larte and Omega are pretty close in age and so yeah, Miara also has another partner, but also with Omega, it's more on/off for Miara and Omega. Both their partners were actually scheming to get them together when they saw how oblivious they were. Caoimhe and Miara's partner are in a qpr. Caoimhe and Miara also date. Miara's partner is in a qpr with Omega too.
Caoimhe is a bambi lesbian btw. Imma needa draw a relationship map for this. This story is 100000% more fun to work with now cause it's a fun dynamic.
The Fett-Peli-Larte kids have three amazing badass moms and one badass O'pa, + a billion aunts and uncles. Miara's partner does not have a last name.
Twenty Eight Years AU Masterpost
________________________________________________________________________________
Omega breathed in the cool, ocean air. The gentle breeze tugged the wisps of her hair.
Pabu was the definition of security, safety, peace.
Truthfully, Omega wasn't sure if she had ever truly known peace in her twenty-two years of life.
She was going to start now, here in the place her brothers had decided to settle on nine years ago. It felt like a lifetime ago when she had first seen this serene oasis against the darkness of the galaxy.
She had spent those nine years in varying states of wellness and stability, the first four she had been utterly lost and just moving around to survive and trying to spite the Empire. The later five had been spent on the long, winding road to recovery from the endless pain and suffering and fighting and tragedy and trauma that permeated the galaxy.
But all of that was gone now, the road to recovery had led her here, back to this peaceful place. She was done with all of that, she wasn't going to fight anymore, she had already spent far too much of her life fighting.
Hee siblings had understood that sentiment, but it had taken her forever to convince Echo to finally get off the battlefield, Emerie was more than ready for peace. He may have acted grumpy about it, but she knew Echo was secretly relieved for it to be over, and that he would follow her anywhere, just to make sure he didn't lose her too.
And they weren't here on Pabu alone.
Omega was going to start a life and a family here.
Her three utterly amazing partners had been all for the idea when she first absently brought it up. Pabu was out of the way, remote, little known, and fairly close, both in position and in trade, to Caoimhe's homeworld of Cxylor; she had immediately begun to plan setting up a branch of her family's business on Pabu.
Miara thought the planet was beautiful and a perfect place to settle down, and Irtærse had also approved of the planet, it was part of the galaxy regularly traversed by purgil, the locals were used to seeing weird stuff, her magicks wouldn't be noteworthy.
It was really the perfect place for all of them.
Now they were here, standing at the door of their new home, it would open their lives to something truly wondrous.
XXX
Omega screamed as she gave a final push, her ears were ringing as the pressure on her pelvis vanished.
Among the slue of noises all around her, one thing broke through her mental fog.
A pair of sharp, highly pitched cries.
They were somehow the most beautiful things she had ever heard.
Though she was absolutely exhausted, she craned her neck to get her first good look at the pair of children she had brought into this galaxy.
Her eyes easily found the signature red of Merrin's clothes, and it was easy to find her children (children, she had children, she was a mother) from there.
Her Nightsister was cleansing the twins of afterbirth in a special type of bath she had made, due to the unique circumstances of their conception, they were a little different from normal babies.
Heh, just like me.
She suddenly realized that Caoimhe's hands were still on hers, her riduur hadn't let go of her once, just like she promised. She glanced over to see her riduur smiling proudly down at her with that lovely fanged smile.
"You did it, firebird, you did it." Caoimhe whispered to her softly.
Omega only had the strength to hum in response. Caoimhe chuckled to herself and offered her more of the sweetened potion Merrin had whipped up for her. She eagerly accepted the almost magical tasting liquid.
She heard Merrin's sharp grunt of approval at Caoimhe's actions. So far they were doing everything right despite the difficult circumstances.
Such as nearly dying.
Omega squeezed Caoimhe's hand tighter at the vivid recent memory. She didn't actually remember most of it, something had gone wrong after her water broke, she was pretty sure she'd blacked out, and then she had been woken by Merrin.
Whatever had happened, she was fairly certain one of them had gotten stuck and nearly killed their twin and her, but it was okay now. She was fine, Caoimhe was fine, Miara and Irtærse were fine, their children were fine.
Merrin turned back to them with two swaddles of fabric in her arms. The witch gave her a soft smile that she rarely used, and gently set both children down in her arms.
"They are healthy, if a little small, but that is typical for twins." She said.
Omega nodded to her, grateful beyond words for the assistance her sister had given them.
"Oh Meg, they're beautiful." Caoimhe whispered, kissing her lightly on the cheek.
She was right, the twins were the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.
They had Caoimhe's purple splotches on her tan skin, and already had tiny curls of blond and purple hair on their heads. The twins looked up at them with slightly crossed eyes, but their near whiteless eyes were a heart wrenchingly familiar shade of brown. Omega's breath hitched looking at them, and she had to look away.
No! I'm not going to let that spoil this for me! She steeled herself and looked back down.
On a second glance, they were not identical to her own, they were a fair bit lighter, more red in them, with some different specklings in them, but they were close enough that it made her think of her vod.
Her vod who would have been clamoring at the door to see the two new ade, and her vod her were patiently waiting to see.
It made her heart clench that four of her vod would never get to see these little ones, at least not ever in person. Caoimhe's gentle kiss on her temple brought her out of those troubling thoughts.
"They are so proud and happy for you." Caoimhe told her.
Omega smiled up at her riduur, who always knew what was on her mind, and what to say. She knew what Caoimhe said was the truth. If she closed her eyes, she could almost hear her vod cheering for her.
She looked back to her curious twins, already trying to explore and get out of their blankets.
"Merrin, can Miara and Irtærse come in now?" Omega asked.
"I suppose that would be fine, everyone else will have to wait." Merrin told her.
The witch left them and soon enough the door was tossed open and Omega was hit with an onslaught of worried words and questions from her wife and partner.
Merrin hadn't allowed them to come in since the room was small and the witch needed as much space as she could get. Caoimhe had been allowed in cause she was more useful than the space she took up.
They had been more than a little upset about that, with Miara arguing that they were her kids too but hadn't pushed the witch much on the subject.
Caoimhe moved to her other side to make room for their partners. Irtærse took her hands in their own, far warmer ones and gave her a sharp, worried look.
"You had us very worried ." They squeezed her hands gently.
Omega gave them a grin and watched their sharp stare soften. Irtærse was a person of few words, their actions spoke for them well enough, it just made their words more meaningful.
"I'm serious Meg, I swear I had a heart attack when I saw you." Miara told her sternly.
Omega glanced away from the three sets of worried eyes on her. Part of the trouble was her own fault, she still hadn't completely grown past her old self sacrificing habits, even though she'd been pregnant.
"But you're okay, that's what matters." Miara kissed her cheek.
Omega blinked tears out of her eyes. Stupid hormones. She thought as she wiped her eyes.
"You look tired, Peach." Irtærse observed.
Go to sleep. Was what they really meant.
Omega glanced down at the two babies resting on her bare skin. One of them was smaller than the other, which she knew was normal for twins, but it still made her anxious.
"You can worry about them later, spitfire, we'll watch over while you get some rest." Caoimhe said softly.
Omega had to force herself not to try and take care of everything right now, they never would have let her anyway. She was pretty tired anyway, it would be so easy to just close her eyes and let her mind drift.
They named their children the next day, the smaller twin they all decided to name Zosime, survivor, and the other was Roya, hunter.
XXX
Surprisingly, Irtærse had managed to fend their families off for a week of very appreciated recovery time.
Omega wasn't in constant pain from her little slip up anymore, she was absolutely still sore, but that was far more manageable than sore and in pain. She was feeling up to a visit now, and her family would have broken in if she waited much longer.
So she sat on her bed with Zosime and Roya in her arms and watched as her family filed in. I'm glad we have such a big house. She thought as the room quickly filled up. She smiled at all those who were present, ignoring the pang in her heart at those who weren't.
Boba, Sintas and Ailyn, Boba's wife and daughter. Emerie and her wife, Daesha. And Echo, who she knew was the most anxious about it all.
Hera, Chopper, Hera's grumpy boyfriend, Lyana. Merrin and Cal of course were there, and there were about a dozen of Caoimhe's family members, parents, cousins, aunts, uncles, a bunch of them. Kaeden, Miara's awesome sister, was here with Ahsoka, and Ahsoka was a very busy woman.
In the back of the room, near the door in case he needed to make a quick exit, she could see Rex lurking. Normally, she would have felt… apprehensive at seeing him, things were still rough between them, she still hadn't totally forgiven him, and he still considered Saw Gerrera an ally and a friend despite the massive amount of death that followed him, but today, she was okay with putting that aside.
All their friends and family, well not all, Caoimhe had a huge family, had taken the time to come see her and the two new lives she had brought into this world.
Boba looked the least happy to be there, after Hera's boyfriend, but she had grown to expect that sort of grumpiness from her older brother. Ailyn, Boba's six year old daughter, was very excited to meet her new cousins, the girl was vibrating next to her parents.
"Damn, you and Caoimhe weren't lying when you said you have big families." Miara commented.
Omega smiled at her wife.
Each member of their very large family took their turn seeing the twins. Nobody else held them, that would over stimulate their sensitive systems.
"Ba'vodu Kiwi, they're purple like you!" Ailyn said excited once she saw them.
"They sure are." Caoimhe chuckled.
Caoimhe's great grandmother, Ailbhe, performed the customary Spælf traditions for both new births and a twin birth. Omega had initially been worried about her Nightsister ways clashing with Caoimhe's culture, but they fit together rather well, so well that Ailbhe and Merrin frequently meet up to discuss their respective magics and swap knowledge.
Speaking of the Dathomirian Zabrak, Merrin approached her once Caoimhe's family had finished their greetings.
Merrin hadn't only been there to help with the birth because she was realistically the only person who knew what these types of births entailed, her and Irtærse's status as Children of Dathomir made Merrin's involvement essential as their clan's Mother. The clan mother and elders aided in the very difficult birthing process of Zabraks, and then there was their spiritual aspect of their involvement. The clan mother gave newborns a special blessing that strengthened them for the difficulties of life.
Green mist floated around Merrin's fingers.
"May I?" She asked, extending her hand towards the newborns.
Omega held her children out to her clan mother. Merrin painted markings on their faces with the mystic mist, both infants giggled as the mist tickled their sensitive skin.
"Now you are Children of Dathomir." Merrin's voice echoed as she finished the ceremony.
"Live well little ones." She added, patted their heads gently.
Lastly, Echo, Emerie and Boba dragged Rex up to her, forcing their brother to face her.
"Rex." Omega said curtly.
Rex just stared at the twins. She could see the words he wanted to say, was thinking about saying, and held out her hand to stop him. He opened his mouth to protest, and Emerie cut in.
"Don't, just don't." She told him with a stern glare.
Rex blinked then nodded and turned his attention to the twins.
"They look like you." He said awkwardly.
"Course they do di'kut." Boba scoffed.
Rex scowled at him. Echo cleared his throat.
"You're gonna have quite the time dealing with them." He said.
"Think they'll be as bad as I was?" She prompted, looking to her older siblings.
"They'll be worse." All four said simultaneously.
The room erupted into laughter.
XXX
Omega's day had gone great so far, no signs of anything going wrong or any big surprises. After the craziness of the last few days, she was looking forward to no surprises.
They were finally heading home after helping out Boba with his thing on Tatooine, it had been a little awkward with Fennec but nothing she couldn't handle. She had given her brother well wishes and he had given them gifts for the kids, and, after a quick visit to Emerie and her wife and their kids(with an invitation to visit soon), she was headed back to Pabu, to her ade, to her ori'vod, to her aliit(clan/family).
As always, Koré was so excited they were back. She practically threw herself into their arms.
Omega, as always, caught her youngest daughter and spun her in the air.
Everything was normal and perfect and nothing was wrong.
Until she turned to greet her ade and saw the man standing in her yard.
A man with Rayshe'a's eyes, Echo's eyes, her eyes.
A man who was far too young, only a handful of years older than when she had last seen him.
A man whose face haunted her mind for years.
A man who should be dead.
At first, Omega didn't want to believe he was there, not even when her ade said they saw him. Her ade graciously left them alone.
Omega turned to her partners, Caoimhe and Miara and Irtærse knew, they knew all about her past, helped her work through it, they would tell her if this ghost was real. The conformation didn't make it better and she turned away from the ghost.
Looking into her riduurs sympathetic eyes did nothing to quell the surge of conflicting emotions tumbling inside her.
She should have been happy, right? Her brother was back from the dead, that's a good thing… so why was she so angry?
It was the sacrifices.
Everything her brothers had given up to ensure his sacrifice was not in vain, everything they did to get her safe, everything they died for, they had done it because he had died.
She had made her peace with their deaths years ago. She forged a truce with her demons, rebuilt herself back up from nothing. She had made a new life and a family she loved fiercely.
She had honored her brothers and continued living a life she loved and that they would be so happy she had.
She had never forgotten them, but she had moved on, stopped letting it drag her down to those dark places.
And now, twenty eight years later, twenty years since she had begun to deal with her demons, he was back from the dead to drag her right back to square one like nothing happened.
Hunter, Wrecker, Crosshair… they had all died… and here he was… alive.
It didn't seem fair.
"Omega?"
It wasn't fair.
She glared at the ghost.
"You're supposed to be dead." She hissed.
"Why aren't you?" She asked.
The ghost took a shocked step back, somehow confused at her anger. She was angry, he was supposed to be dead, she was fine with him being dead… her brothers were together that way… but here he was, no more than five years older and alive.
He was out of place.
He was so wildly out of place, she could have convinced herself that he was just a hallucination or a flashback, but he stood out there too.
He was like a misplaced artifact, disrupting the scenery.
He was a ghost, just a ghost.
"Omega, where are the others?" The ghost asked softly.
There, that was when Omega snapped.
"They're dead, like you are supposed to be."
She only felt more anger when the ghost's face slowly shifted from shock to his classic thinking face. Somewhere, deep inside, she had missed seeing that face, and that feeling made her angrier.
________________________________________________________________________________
Four months and I still don't give you any answers! Maybe you'll get one before the end of the year.
This definitely took a while to get out of my brain, mostly cause it's a back burner that I work on whenever I don't feel like working on my main stuff, or if I get a sudden burst of inspiration for it and jot down a little snippet and then I have a bunch of snippets to connect, so these back burners take a bit longer to update than my main stories, sorry if you really enjoy them😅.
I am very tempted to make an angsty traumatized Omega focused prequel story where it's just Omega, Echo and Emerie, struggling for a long time on their own cause they're a danger to others and don't want to ruin anyone else's lives and it's just really dark and angsty and Omega's got some self hate and I can just traumatize the girl. I love to traumatize her so much, she's my favorite.
So that might happen before the next chapter of this comes out.
Now some funny lil notes I had on this chapter:
Fire bird is one of Caoimhe's nicknames for Omega, a reference for her tendency to crash and burn in situations, used to be a sarcastic comment but is now a term of endearment.
Caoimhe's nicknames for Omega tend to be fire based since Omega was rather hotheaded and firey when they met.
Irtærse calls Omega Peach cause she soft and sweet but has a tough core
Aylin Fett is Boba's daughter, Boba did not leave his fam yet, and his fam didn't cut themselves off from other fetts so Sintas and Ailyn lived with Omega for a bit when he does leave.
Spælves, like normal fantasy elves tend to live fairly long lives.
May the Force be with Ailbhe, poor old lady's gonna have to do this ceremony a bunch more times.
Canon Miara: fighter pilot captain and kicking imp ass, attending the celebration on yavin after death stare
Twenty Eight Years Miara: doing all that stuff but she's got two wives, a partner and kids now.
This was long.
Sorry about that!
I hope you all have a good day, whatever that is for you!
VJS Out!
#Star Wars#the bad batch#Tbb#Bad Batch#bad batch fanfic#Tbb fanfic#Tbb Omega#Tbb Echo#tbb emerie#tbb tech#tbb ocs#Miara Larte#kaeden larte#Merrin#cal kestis#nightsister merrin#nightsisters of dathomir#witches of dathomir#Nightsister Omega#Omega x Miara#Omega x oc#Tbb AU#Twenty Eight Years AU#Tech lives#Tech lives au#VJS Fics:P#VJS AU:P#VJS OCs:P#VJS
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aksjfhjfj @ love next door ruining the streak from your tastes I knew you would have problems with it if you watched it. ITSAB is gorgeous and depicts the longing in such a raw way, Ligher and princess and Reset are so good, spring night is amazing too I think ep 15 was the one you had an issue with right? I haven't watched Family by choice or No gain no love, we have quite close tastes in terms of writing and romance preferences. Could you tell me what you liked about the dramas and what the romances in them are like? What kind otps are we talking about?
LND was SUCH a waste of a good cast (and of a good pilot, ep 1 was fun), I really couldn't finish it. OSN episode 15 was the only one where the writing wasn't superb, so compared to the rest of the series it was a jarring letdown, but i'd still consider osn one of the best romance kdramas out there, or at least one of my favourites.
No gain no love: it's just HILARIOUS, good fun, especially in the first half I could not wait for the following week because it felt so fresh in its comedy (and at the same time it felt like a pre 2019 kdrama). I would say it's a good time, with some great characters, a strong emotional core; you have to like noona romances and com > rom. Some secondary storylines which seemed very avant garde (lmao) for a kdrama dropped in quality in the second half. I loved the main couple but also because I like noona romances that show the actual differences in experience (in life and love) between the leads, and the two characters themselves were just a delight (one of my favourite ML in a long time, as a character). Maybe not the strongest writing in some places, but I would nonetheless do a rewatch whenever. (the second couple is less complex but still fun, a bit clichéd in the right places, there's a ml redemption arc that is saved by how charming the actor is.)
Family by choice: it was doomed from the start, in a way, because it's the Korean remake of beloved Go Ahead, so if you loved GA you'll probably suffer the changes in FBC and the reduced screentime. I personally could not finish GA for various reasons, so the Korean ver got me. Go Ahead had 50+ episodes if I'm not mistaken, and as a result FBC main/only issue is the pacing. It has to do so much in 16 episodes (especially in the first half), that if you stop to wonder for a moment you realise the whole thing is just ridiculous (biological parents, PLURAL, pop up in the span of a MONTH after 10+ years of no contact). The reduced screentime also means some concepts and conflicts are repeated in various shades for each main character in quick succession leaving little room to breathe. HOWEVER the Korean FL is 100000+ times better than the Chinese original even when she's 17 and childish. Thankfully writing a remake meant they dodged the 'siblings who fall in love later' nuke AND the love triangle nuke. And by that I mean yes the ML and FL grow up together but the ML honest to god goes 'we are not siblings' every episode because he is in love.... which is a possible ick for many people to say the least. Idk it worked for me
It's the drama for you if you love, and I mean LOVE, emotional hurt/comfort, self sacrificing characters that hide their pain for their loved ones, and FAMILEH *Italian hand gestures*. You need to LOVE the 'the character finally breaks down and cries in front of his dad, who loves him very much' trope. Those scenes were, as my sister said every episode, my shit. The romances were cute but you should not watch it for them, the main trio+two not-gay-dads was the true heart. Reminded me of OSN because you need to understand Korean culture otherwise you'll scream at the tv going 'WHAT IS SO BAD ABOUT ADOPTION YOU MORONS'. Also warning for toxic mothers because this drama almost triggered a panic attack hdbgjshbfgjhdbgjb. I think some actors were insanely charming in this, but the romances were not the main strength. And by charming actors I mean a top-shape Hwang In Youp, Bae Hyun sung, and kdrama father of the year for the second year in a row Choi Wonyoung
#lyde vs kdramas#jesus writing about family by choice I kept thinking abut all the issues it has but IDC i liked it
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Hello my friends !
🍉I am a Palestinian from Gaza😭😭 , coming from an extended family ❤❤that have been suffering😭😭 for 300 hard days of an aggressive war. Our life is dire and tough as we lack all the basic necessities of life . Everything has become rare and hard to get.
So, I am asking you to help me keep my family safe and a life especially after we had lost all our livelihood sources.
please don't leave my family struggle and suffer these dire days alone. You can support my campaign by donating whatever you can or by sharing my posts to reach out to others who can help us survive the war to safety and peace. you help the souls of many people with your small contribution. ❤❤🍉🍉
Don't spare this moment to be beside us in this incredibly hard and tough times.
€145 raised of €100,000 goal
I am Mahmoud Ayyad, 26 years old, a Palestinian young man from Gaza. I come from an extended family of 43 members including my father , my uncles , my cousins , my aunts, my brothers & sisters , and my siblings" The Ayyad's family". My extended family has been forcibly displaced from our home located in the north of Gaza to the central part of Deir_elbalah seeking for peace and safety. Since the early days of the war, we have been forced to leave our houses under a life_threatening situation, leaving behind all our belongings, our valuable possessions and assets, thinking that the war wouldn't last for long and then would return , but the reality was against our expectation. The war has lasted almost for a year and nothing has changed. We have now lost all such things ; all our houses were completely destroyed and demolished and nothing has been left for all these members. We have moved from having everything to having nothing. Our houses have been painfully demolished and completely destroyed. Life as we know it has changed in the blink of an eye. The extended family members have become displaced, homeless and jobless. Our new small tents with no facilities and everything has become a great challenge and struggle. Now, we are suffering life_threatening situations with lack all the basic necessities such as lack of food, lack of clean water , lack of proper medicine , hygiene supplies, clothes, medical care, housing , and livelihood income. We are going through hell on earth where death, bombing and spread diseases are everywhere , and hepatitis in particular. No safe place exists in Gaza to escape to. So l am asking you our dear supporters to stand with us in these dire and hard days to help us survive and stay alive. We are now living in very small dirty tents in street lacking all means of life and getting the basic needs for all these people has become a struggle and a great challenge because Gaza is dying due to the fierce genocide over it. We need your support to relieve our sufferings and hardship till the black of the war pass. We will be very thankful and grateful for you if you support us either by directly donating whatever you can or sharing my GFM campaign link. Don't soare the moment of helping people in bad need to your help. Gazan families need your moral and financial support. At last I would like to show that we need this amount of $100000 to secure the basic needs for 70 people providing food, medicine, drink water, clothes and other necessities, and some will be used for rebuilding some of our homes. Remember you are the only hope and support who can ease our pain and relieve our hardship in time of need.
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LOL oh OP, the number of things you are so close on but also just a little bit off on, it’s so fun watching reactions like this as someone who’s been in the fandom for 20 years and knowing where things are going, and all of the things I want to say would be SO SPOILERY, but I’ll just say that Yes, the biblical allegory is 100000% intentional, if there’s ever a time you see something and think “Is this an allegory for x/y/z moment in the bible?” the answer is 99.999% certainly Yes, yes it is. Vash is literally Jesus and Wolfwood is literally Judas but they’re also so much more than just that, there’s so many layers and it’s so good!
Also, don’t ever take anything in this show at face value. There are so many things here where you see it and just go “Ok, that sure is just a normal thing” and then BAM you see the truth that’s been there the whole time, it was just different than you were expecting it to be. :V
Glad to see you’re enjoying it so much, though, OP, and welcome to Trigun Hell! It’s full of pain and suffering and despair, but you love every minute of it, and we hold weekly group therapy sessions for the trauma the series gave us on Thursdays. There’s free donuts. XD
finally started watching trigun stampede and oh my fucking god????
the VIBES. i just started episode 4 and wolfwoods introduction?? dragging a cross behind him????? he hasnt spoken a single word and im already obsessed with him. im also thinking about that one post i saw about how vash is jesus (SO fucking accurate btw) so the image of dragging the cross through the desert was like. oh theyre /intentional/ with it
also vash is such a good character holy shit. hes so unserious and i fucking love the way hes animated. his goofy ass running really sells it. but then he fucking shoots a bullet out of the air and its AWESOME hes so cool but also hes just a silly little guy! and of course the Tragic Backstory really just tops it all off. great protagonist hes so fun to watch
i also really love the evil twin shit, the way Millions Knives has fully committed to the aesthetic is fucking awesome and then he just. destroys an entire town? just for the sake of it?? top tier villain shit. and i like how vash is clearly really skilled but still doesnt hold a candle to Mr Knives. sets up a really good dynamic i cant wait to see where it goes from here
anyway its really just getting started so ill probably post more updates as i go but. so far 10/10 im having a great time
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Ugh I feel like I already did this vent at some point but I fucking almost hate how little my gender and gender dysphoria is related to how people perceive me cause yeah its great that I don't care if people think Im a man or a woman or cant tell (at least in a dysphoria sense, its like a cherry on top euphoria shot when its something I like) cause its REALLY hard to compromise with the dysphoria brain and make it feel like it's gotten something to cope and soothe with.
A lot of advice and tactics around coping with gender dysphoria is shit like "realizing not all men have XYZ and removing the shoulds" and "working with those close to find language and actions that makes you feel seen and dont trigger dysphoria and yada yada" but none of that shit really fucking works cause I Really Dont Care
Its more of Gender Dissonance than anything else solely because our brains instinct is 100000% expecting amab shit downstairs and has 0% instincts on how to exist with afab shit down there and it FRIES OUR BRAIN everytime we think about it 2 seconds harder than a "LOL"
Cause ugh. I read a thing and sat on it for 2 more seconds and my brain is friend and I hate life man 😮💨
Im going to sleep but got I hate this crap. If you have any really good advice I guess it could be helpful but it's not entirely needed. I'm largely screaming about the same shit I've been screaming about for three years and Ray for a year or two before that.
Having a transbrain is suffering and pain 😮💨😮💨😮💨
-XIV
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not so brief skit of a "friendly" conversation between Benny and Archibald.
benny: alright, you want to talk. the other 2 have passed out and zashchitnik is in their own dimension.
archi(pouring a glass of wine): good good. brief starter question, do you drink?
benny: nah, literally not allowed to by any of my family. and cham started agreeing with them after i introduced him for some reason..?
archi: hmm.. i'll have to look into that later...
benny(pouring a glass of water): if i hear from any of em that a gopher harassed em i will start "messing up" on tech i give you.
archi: and here i thought you were done with pointless threats!
benny: no, i'm giving you a chance while still being ready to make stew.
archi: make stew...? never mind. i have different questions, and things i've noticed.
benny(finally taking a seat): like what?
archi: that for one, your pain tolerance is high only because you've been hit and torn apart so much you can't feel low pain levels. and-
benny: blah blah, i already know. and you were going to say i wasn't letting that jake kid heal me because then i would feel things.
archi: hmm.. good you do have some sort of awareness.
benny: please. this is a skit done by someone that draws me as a dog getting the absolute garbage beaten out of it.
archi: ... i swear you make no sense...
benny: if only ya knew..
archi: anyways, in that case... why do you keep calling yourself the "pillar of morality" if you have almost no morals of your own.
benny: ...
archi: glad to see i found something you didn't-
benny: you do realize that someone out there was always the first person to come up with things. our group was not the first one to say killing was immoral.
archi: ... i may need more info than-
benny: like there is a chance some more specific morals are made from specific occasions. for instance don't cheat at cards then run away bleeding out while being hunted only to get found by a blob who will later have your location, cause otherwise you'll be dealing with all kinds of goons from there.
archi: that is... really specific.
benny: but the more vague ones... what could they mean? no killing.
archi: no killing isn't vague-
benny: some children find joy in watching ants get burned, or those really bad villains suffering off screen.
archi: well-
benny: and we generate cells that die in... like 3 years? did i get that right?
archi: now let me spea-
benny: you don't know either you just searched it up and it said 100000 cells die every second? oof. guess we'll never know!
archi: who are you talking to???
benny: continuing! we kill plants so we can nourish ourselves. my point is, murder is more specific because that means something that means something died.
archi: ffffffffffine i guess you're right. but that doesn't change the fact the only reason you have "morals" is because of the others.
benny: yeah.
archi: just.. just "yeah" is your answer????
benny: let me explain it in a way i've scrapped together. i am a code.
archi: ???
benny: each of my morals are a different kind of code. people are connected to bits of it. you take out a strip of code and the entire program will either still work without it, or it'll be reduced to a functionless mess.
archi: well... i guess that does make sense.
benny(glaring at archibald): which means, if you kill enough of the right people, i will lose those morals. eventually deciding to just delete all of them, and gutting whoever decided to get on the wrong side of me or anyone else in the sharp tank.
archi: you're so problematic! yet you still don't tell the others..
benny: if you want to tell em, be my guest.
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oh mami
i have a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and i’m like 100000% i have endometriosis and i’m in pain everyday since i had an ovarian cyst burst 5 DAYS after i turn 18 over a month ago and like this endometriosis shit is so painful, every single day (i guess i never realized throughout the years all this pain i’ve had wasn’t normal) and so much other shit like so much has been happening and i’m under a lot of stress and it’s impacted my mental health so bad and i feel like no one close to me wants to listen or they don’t understand, oh yea and my doctor wants me to go to a therapist for trauma and my anxiety, because like fucking past trauma and my anxiety impacts my life everyday too and idk what to do i’m like suffering in silence but anyways i really just needed to get that off my chest you don’t have to say anything back or anything but anyways i’m trying to stay as positive as i can be even though i have a mental breakdown almost everyday now 😂 but i hope you have a goodnight or morning and thank you for letting me send this 🤍🤍🤍
i’m truly sorry you’re going through this much pain baby, it must be horrible and i can’t even imagine what is like. i’m here if you ever need to talk about it or anything, don’t even hesitate on talking to me, no need to thank me ily <3
i really think that going to the therapist is a great idea, maybe it can be hard at first opening up to a random stranger but it will help you in the future and eventually it’s gonna a get easier. so really consider going!
i know that sometimes it feels like nobody wants to listen or they don’t care, but trust me, they do care. that’s just your head lying to you saying that your voice doesn’t matter to others, try to talking to them. i know is easier said than done, but i do get what you’re saying bc the same happens to me, but trust me in this, just try talking (go slow if you want) maybe you can say “hey i really want to talk about something” and see where it goes from there <3
just think that this won’t last forever and getting better is the path you’re going to take! sending all the love to u 🤲🏻💘 and good luck tomorrow!
come celebrate 2.4k followers with me!
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A Surrogate For Billionaire - Julianna Kennedy & Ryan Winston - Read Online - Bravonovel

A Surrogate For Billionaire
https://www.bravonovel.com/a-surrogate-for-billionaire-8232
A Surrogate For Billionaire novel is a Romance story about Julianna Kennedy and Ryan Winston.
Julianna Kennedy is a 20 year old university student and the sole caretaker of her seven year old little brother, who suffers from lung cancer. She can’t afford the money needed for his surgery, so the only option she has is to become a surrogate for a rish stranger.Ryan Winston is a handsome 24 year old billionaire with a cold heart. Because of his grandparents’ need to see a great grandchild before they die, Ryan is forced to hire a surrogate. But neither Julianna nor Ryan ever expected they were fated to be with each other.
You can read A Surrogate For Billionaire novel on Bravonovel Web or App.
A Surrogate For Billionaire novel Chapter 1
~ Julianna ~
“Juli are you alright?” I heard my little brother Noah’s voice. I wanted to cry. After all, I’ll never be alright without him because I have no money to spend on his disease. Shit.
“I’m alright darling. What do you wanna eat?” I asked him as he came to me and hugged me.
“I need bread with cheese Juli” I looked down at his small body and my heart tightened because how am I supposed to save him? I love him and I can’t even think about a day without him. I smiled at him and nodded before going into the kitchen. After breakfast, I went to the hospital with Noah. As I entered the hospital I saw doctor Peterson. He was one who did and helped everything about Noah.
“Good morning little one,” He said with a smile and Noah giggled happily because he really liked this doctor Peterson.
“Good morning Pete” Noah joked as he ran towards the doctor. Then he picked up Noah and nodded at me before going into Noah’s ward. After some time doctor Peterson came.
“Julianna, can I talk to you for a moment?” He asked and I nodded but this is the thing that I fear the most in this life. I have no idea what the doctor wants to tell me but I knew it was all about Noah’s health. Maybe the news will be good or bad but I was just scared.
“Noah’s health is getting worse. We should do the surgery as soon as possible” My heart shattered into pieces as I heard him. Unintentionally tears welled in my eyes. Why did this happen to us?
“Julianna, I know you have money problems. I’m so sorry” Doctor Peterson patted my shoulder. I sighed because no matter what, I’m going to find the money for his surgery and make him better.
“Doctor I’ll find money,” I said as I wiped my tears.
“You have a maximum of ten months. It will be great if you could find it soon” I nodded and looked at Noah through the glass wall and he was smiling at a nurse while chatting. I can’t let anything happen to him because he’s the only person that I have.
“Noah should stay in the hospital from today onwards.” I was still looking at Noah. He’s just so cute and he will be a handsome man in the future so as his sister I should just protect him.
“Alright doctor” With that I went into Noah’s ward and sat on the bed next to him.
“Am I dying Juli?” I forced my tears back because I didn’t want to cry in front of him. I smiled forcefully and took him onto my lap as I started to caress his silky dark brown hair.
“No. You’re going to recover so soon okay?” I kissed his head and rested my chin on his head.
“That’s great” He started to giggle. I clenched my jaws because I didn’t want to cry. My heart was hurting and it felt like someone was squeezing my heart so tightly.
“I love you so much Noah,” I said while kissing his little cheek.
“I love you so much more Juli” With that, he kissed my forehead. I bit my lower lip so hard because of the pain I’m feeling in my heart but no pain could match the pain in my heart.
“Noah, you have to stay here for a few months. Is it okay darling?” I asked and Noah nodded with a happy smile.
“I will play with Pete all day,” He said while jumping. I smiled at him and got up to leave.
“But Juli you will come to see me every day, right?” He pouted while biting his little lips.
“Yeah. I will” With that I left the hospital and went home. I had to go to university but my mind was in a mess so I went straight home. After I came home I jumped onto the bed and started to cry because I was tired and I was scared for Noah’s life.
After I was done crying I went into the bathroom and washed my face and changed into new clothes. Then I heard a knock on the door and went to open the door. As I opened the door I saw aunty Elise.
“Julianna, you were crying. Weren’t you?” She asked as I smiled forcefully. Then she asked what happened and I told everything that my heart was feeling and about my helplessness. She let out a deep sigh and pulled me to a warm hug. She was really like a mother, always cared for me and Noah but now she’s getting old and I can’t bother her with our things.
“Juli I’m sorry for telling you this but I can’t stay without even letting you know and I also don’t have much money.” She said with a sigh and I didn’t care about anything and all I wanted was money. I wanted to pay for Noah’s surgery as soon as possible.
“Tell me aunty Elise, at this point, I will do anything for my brother’s life. Even if I have to sell my body” I said as I took her hands and placed them on my chest.
“I don’t know Juli but I’ll tell you and you make the decision” I nodded at her quickly and she sighed.
“A wealthy family looking for a surrogate. They want to have an heir as soon as possible and they will pay $100000 to the surrogate” She said and looked at my eyes. My heart tightened and I looked down. A surrogate? So do I have to give birth to a baby for an unknown man?
“What are their conditions?” I asked. I looked at aunty Elise’s face and I knew she’s sad and she didn’t want to see me like that. She was the woman who taught me to wait until our fated ones and once they came our lives will be blissful.
“You have everything they need. Beauty, intelligence, and virginity. And you have those things beyond what they expect” I closed my eyes and thought about it carefully. So I have to give my virginity? It’s okay everything will be fine and I’m doing this for my brother. It’s just giving birth to live to save one.
“I agree. I will be their surrogate but please don’t let Noah know anything about this” I said as I smiled at her. I saw the hurt expression on her face but she nodded at me and smiled forcefully. She really cared about me and I will always be grateful to her.
“I’ll let them know and take you there.” I nodded as she got up and left. I sighed and looked up at the ceiling. Is this what's going to happen to our lives, mom? I lost my parents and now I’m suffering because of that loss. Urghh. Everything will be fine as long as Noah is safe and healthy.
………………………………………………………..
~ Ryan ~
“Ryan, when are you going to give us a great-grandchild? We are already very close to our deathbed” Urgh.. When can I have a peaceful sleep? Why do they want a great-grandchild? They already have a grandson.
“I don’t want grandma. I’m not ready to have a child” I said as I got up from my bed and walked towards her.
“Are you going to die with your virginity? Everyone knows Ryan.. They think you’re gay” My grandmother cried as she hit my chest hard.
“Ouch grandma it hurts,” I said as she smirked at me and started to cry loudly. Urghh drama queen. Then both my grandfather and father came into my room as they frowned at me.
“See, I only asked for a great-grandchild but he shouted at me” She sobbed while hugging my dad. I sighed and looked at them.
“Ryan, Do our last wish baby.. We want to see a little prince or a princess before we die” It was my grandpa who started to act this time.
“I don’t have a woman so how am I going to have a baby? I can’t do it alone. You know that fact right?” I said because I wanted them to give up on their last wish.
“Alright, you marry Lidia. She’ll give birth to your baby” What the fuck? Lidia? That cunning and disgusting whore?
“No. Not her. I don’t like women like her and she sleeps with men every day. Eww,” I let out my disgust and looked at my grandma who suggested it to me. Her face was also covered with disgust.
“Alright then do you have someone you like?” Why can’t they understand me? If I had a woman that I like I would have already fucked her countless times and got her pregnant.
“NO. I don’t like any woman” I said and looked away from their direction.
“Oh my god! my poor boy, Is he gay? Are the rumors true?” I heard my grandma’s low voice.
“I’m not gay either,” I said as I looked at her again. She sighed
“Alright then have a baby, I’ll choose a woman for you with great beauty, intelligence, and especially with virginity.” My heart started to beat so fast as she said that. Why was that? What the fuck?
“I..I..” Before I could finish what I wanted to say grandma cut me off.
“There’s no need for your answer and be ready” With that grandpa and grandma left my room.
…...
Continue to read Chapter 2 of A Surrogate For Billionaire on Bravonovel Web https://www.bravonovel.com/a-surrogate-for-billionaire-8232/chapter-2-193879
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Did you see deman slayer end ? I am so disappointed 😔I mean tanjirou doesn't even speak to kanoa and I don't think nezuko in love with zenitsu at all.. haw they are together ???? And btw I think nezuko and tanjirou aren't siblings in ch205 ,😭😭 Like the manga is about family or sibling love why did they do that.
hello anon, I don’t know what you mean!! kny ended after ch204 and it was beautiful! canon nezutan lived in their house happily ever after, with their idiot children inosuke and zenitsu!!
in all seriousness, anon i’m 100000% with you. it hurts to see, even if i completely anticipated this from the beginning. i truly wanted an open-ended finale, but of course, shonen manga never seems to give us that. (in my opinion, if an author can’t give an interesting ending, don’t give one at all! we don’t need one! at least, i don’t! i never have!!)
i haven’t *seen* the manga yet, but i read a brief summary, and well, clearly the author didn’t give one fuck about tanjirou and kanao or zenitsu/nezuko. we literally don’t see one second of their romance. like you said, this manga was all about family--i can’t even count how many amazing familial ties we got to see throughout, and the author clearly wanted to focus on that. for 200+ chapters, we see a beautiful story of a brother, risking his life and enduring years of suffering to save his sister, who he loved more than anything and anyone else.
while i dreaded ch205 this past week, honestly i knew no matter what the hell the author would throw for the ending, they can never take away all their beautiful moments or inject romance where there isn’t, by simply slapping together a “tanjirou and kanao, zenitsu and nezuko” 24-page epilogue. i think we all know the true canon endgame here.
i’m not stupid, i never imagined we’d actually get canon nezutan. but it is very disappointing for a great series like KNY to end on such a boring note, in my opinion. still, we had great moments. ultimately, nezutan is the only true ship i see here.
i’m so sorry we’re all disappointed here and this is such a painful blow for nezutan shippers, but we all know nezuko and tanjirou love each other most. they promised they’d be together forever, anon, and they are <3
#nezutan#shipcest#im so sorry i took a while to reply anon#i had to stew in my thoughts for a while#i get very sappy and have a hard time saying goodbye#i almost never read something to the end because i hate endings#kny is over too fast is the general consensus#im not sure what the author had going on in their life#and i respect their writing#i honestly feel like they might just be pressured to write this kind of ending as a shonen mangaka#if you ask me#nezutan's descendents dating#is probably a hint#kny ripped my heart out#but this isnt the first time nor the last time i have to go around canon#maybe this is way mushier than you wanted anon sorry lol but im MUSH#also please entertain this headcanon zenitsu and kanao are simply covers for nezutan#we've seen many instances where they clearly acknowledge how much the two love each other#kanao nearly died for them#anon#replies#kny spoilers#kny ch205#kny 205#kny spoiler
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If you can, how would you list your works from the fluffiest to the angstiest. And is there any work of yours you would consider doing a bad end for either/both izuku and katsuki?
hi anon!!!
ahh that’s hard Q to answer tbh mainly bc i have a lot of ‘verses, but i’ll try my best to categorize them and hopefully i dont miss any or much...! lol /o\ so TOP is the flulliest and bottom is cry your fucking heart out sort of thing. i think most of my fics are midtier range like a good 90% bc i like my usual tear jerker butw/ a firm dose of HEA at the end. some of these might have a really BAD, BAD tear jerker which is why it’s ranked so low but most honestly have good endings w/ the usual drama and tears sprinkle throughout.
murder kittens au - just bc they’re really cute and there isn’t any drama except kirishima being terrorized by fiercely codependent & murderous kittens bkdk
idol au - where izuku is the nation’s sweetheart who has the biggest crush on Ground Zero & katsuki may or may not like him back. it’s silly, fake dating, fandom playing supportive matchmaker, and feature power couple bkdk.
the TA au - where katsuki is profs who made a ton of students cry and izuku is the TA who they absolutely worship and make their class 100000% more bearable.
secretary au - excellent secretary izuku vs TERRIBLE BOSS katsuki, fill w/ hijinks, office, gossips, and everyone being terrified of katsuki but izuku is the only one to reign him in
doki doki ‘verse - katsuki is half kaiju & half human and he’s a damn boss AND NOTHING CAN TOUCH him except for that human boy who can completely destroy him w a single smile
soulbond dragon fic - lol i mean it’s just katsuki getting harassed by his dragon about courting izuku????
stepdad au - idk it’s just a bunch kids, their papa, and THEIR KACCHAN navigating how to be a family
accidental kink - kink navigation/exploration basically, doesn’t have a lot of drama or angsty bits
EVERYTHING THAT ISN’T mention on this list belongs in the midtier range: angsty but not too angsty + got enough fluff to balance it out
[we’re on to angsty tier list now] izuku in fantasyland - fucking punch me in the heart bc NOBODY WANTS HIM at first but THEY WILL!!!!!!
the fic where future izuku died and future!katsuki became ruthless, cold killing machine who traveled back to the past to protect bb!izuku and it’s lot of LONGING AND INTENSE PAIN FOR THIS BOY WHO WILL ONE DAY BE HIS EVERYTHING
the wintersoldier!katsuki - where katsuki got brainwashed by LOV and the only thing that kept him human is his hallucination of a green eyed boys who followed him around and cried for him SOBS
stepbros au - izuku loves katsuki and katsuki loves izuku; it’s as simple as that but they’re stepbrothers so i guess not so simple :(
fluffybottom ‘verse - break up, chasing after your dream vs love, and how you can always go home again and sometimes home is your ex and his ugly grumpy cat name fluffybottom
bakugou twins au - love triangle ft prototype!katsuki vs canon!katsuki over izuku’s affection
song of songs - tododekubaku abo kingdom au where izuku is married to shouto but is bonded to katsuki so in public tododeku are the happiest couple but whenever his heat hit he craves katsuki’s touch. it’s complicated and all party are suffering izuku out of guilt, katsuki out of jealousy and anger, and todoroki’s silence hurt and longing :S
the bodyswap au - where izuku’s current bf (shouto) and ex (katsuki) swap body due to a quirk that wouldn’t be as much of a problem if izuku still doesn’t love katsuki and he thinks katsuki and shouto are growing closer bc izuku leave for US for over a year to learn and todobaku bonded over their EPIC pining of this boy who RUINED THEM.
ot3 concubine kingdom au - where izuku is an omega slave taken from another kingdom and katsuki is the general who found him and brought him back for emperor!shouto. the court thinks izuku has the favor the emperor but is in love with the general but IN REALITY todobaku are in secret alpha/alpha forbidden relationship and is using izuku as shield to hide :((( it’s a lot of izuku feeling like he’s being used and lacking but slowly HE CLIMBS UP THE RANK and win their BOTH OF THEIR HEART and become the most powerful omega in the land lol i have a lot feels about this /o\
as;djfa;lsdjf I REALIZED the last super angsty fics are all ot3 related and i can’t even defend myself. they havent been written *technically* but i talked about them a lot on my twitter acc before and i want to write them one day!!!! it IS MY DREAM
idk if i ever thought a story should have a bad end??? i mean im pretty set in HEA so i dont really think that much about it unless it FEELS right... then im committed to it. OH right there is this one fic that i really hate, LIKE HATE bc i wrote it for a fest and i forced myself to finish it and i didn’t get exactly what i wanted bc i had to meet deadlines... (it’s ‘as the moon bears witness) and in that fic izuku got summoned to another world to save the ppl there, he met up w/ his party, and then he met and fell in love w katsuki who lost his parents and home to the demon king. SO BASICALLY the night before the grand battle w the demon king iizuku decided he’s going to stay w katsuki and not return to his world and they’re going to get marry *if* they both survived. SO izuku did SLAYED the demon king and i had two endings for this either he died in the process... in a sort of eternal sleep till one day they will call upon him again and katsuki stay but his tomb and guard him until the day izuku will awake again (it’s... thousands of years alone waiting for izuku :(((() or THE SECOND ending where izuku lives but his job is done and he got sent back to his world w/o ever saying anything to katsuki and katsuki go back to rebuild his kingdom but never take a consort bc he will always loves izuku and rules alone for thousands of years.... ANYWAY yea it’s a diff take to summon to another world /o\ AND it’s.... unhappy??? but idk i fascinated by it.
thanks for asking!!!! it gave me a lot of thoughts lol
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idk if you're still taking prompts... (and is totally okay if you aren't!!! you must have a lot already...) but IF you have the time AND I F you want to do it, can i please (with a cherry on top) request tdbk 1+17?? like maybe something in wwii?? like maybe they're both jews ot something along the ´the boy in the striped pajamas´ storyline, with todo as bruno (or maybe baku as bruno...) or maybe they're japanese and in japan... (1/2)
… i mean, japan was a big part of the wwii too. anyway, whatever is fine! i’m just really invested in the idea huh. but if you can, obviously!!!! no pressure!!! your writing is perfect!!!! (2/2)
first of all: thank you ❤️ second of all: HELL YES. YES. anon, you don’t know this, but i’m obsessed with history and have been wanting to do a WWII au FOREVER ;-;
also i listener to this song while writing and it increases the sadness level by about 100000% if anyone is interested
tdbk, [1] Historical AU and [17] War AU
***
“Are you still having the nightmares?”
“I’ve been doing the breathing exercises before bed.” Bakugou avoids the question, as he always does when Aizawa asks. “I think things are a bit better.���
That’s a lie. He still has the nightmares, and things are the opposite of better. But how is Bakugou supposed to tell his doctor that, after a year away from the war, he still has the same nightmare day after day? That it never gets any better no matter what he does? He can’t, and he doesn’t.
Every night, he goes to sleep terrified of the images that live deep in his mind. The memories that only come out in dreams. The nameless boy he doesn’t know, yet somehow knows all too well. The screams of that boy, which echo in Bakugou’s head for hours after he wakes up. The heat of blood. The overwhelming smell of saltwater. The smoke-filled sky over the murky Pacific. Fragments of things he used to know.
The only thing he can think of that will get rid of this burden is finding the person stuck in his head. If only things were that simple. Bakugou has been checking the records of every soldier in navy battle, but he can’t connect a name to the face that flickers behind his closed eyelids. Why can’t he remember?
After waking up in the hospital thirteen months ago, he could only recall three things: his name, his age, and that he was a soldier for the Japanese navy. Nothing else. Now, he’s regained most of his childhood memories, but his time spent fighting in the war remains hazy. He’s blocked it out due to severe trauma, the doctors say, but Bakugou wants nothing more than to remember.
“Make sure you come back in a month,” Aizawa tells him, as always, when he dismisses him. “And don’t go poking around the recruitment office anymore. They’ll think you’re well enough to be re-drafted.”
Bakugou just nods, pulls his hat low over his eyes, and steps out into the rainy afternoon smog. He’s got dark circles from lack of sleep, and he seriously doubts the army would want him back given his severe memory issues. It’s not like he chose to have his ship blown up or to get amnesia. Whatever. He doesn’t need to go back to the recruitment office, anyway: they won’t tell him anything. If he’s going to find this mystery boy, he’s going to have to do it alone.
He’s starting to recover bits and pieces, at least. The dreams, although horrifying, are becoming clearer. He can remember sights, sounds, sensations. The smell of the ocean. The feeling of a hand on his wrist, and the sun on his face. The smile of the boy with no name—the boy Bakugou’s heart aches for. He knows him, if only he could remember how.
That’s why he can’t tell Aizawa about the nightmares. He’ll try to get rid of them, and then Bakugou will have nothing left to remember. The more he dreams, the closer he gets. That boy holds the key to what Bakugou knew in the past. He’s going to remember everything, even if it fucking kills him.
His friends, however, think he’s lost it.
“You come back alive with nothing more than some scrapes and amnesia, yet your head is still living in the war? I don’t get you,” intones Kirishima, one of Bakugou’s old high-school classmates. He stayed back in Japan to design planes—helping the war effort in a different, arguably smarter way. It certainly didn’t make him any less annoying, though.
“You don’t get it,” Bakugou replies irritably, digging through the papers piled in front of them. “I’m not living in the war. You’d be frustrated, too, if you had things you knew you remembered but could never fucking remember them.” He nudges Kirishima roughly. “Keep looking. I know I’ll find him eventually.”
“How can you expect to dig through thousands of records with nothing more than a face to go off?” Kirishima whines, opening a new box to dump out piles of photos. “I obviously won’t know if it’s him, so how can I even be of help?”
“Use this.” Bakugou pulls a sketch from his jacket pocket and presses it to the table. It‘s the only thing that survived his trip to the ocean. He can’t remember drawing it, but it’s definitely his handiwork: A profile of the mystery boy, leaning against a ship’s railing. There’s half a smile on his face, and his eyes are peaceful. Serene. So out of place in a war zone.
“When did you draw this?” Kirishima squints at the paper. “Wow… it’s really good. You got better while you were stuck on that ship, huh?”
“Shut up and look, Shitty Hair.”
Bakugou spreads the pictures apart, but no face jumps out at him. Why is it so hard to remember someone he clearly knew so well? He’s so frustrated that he wants to rip his hair out. Where is this damn guy, and why does Bakugou need to get back to him so badly?
***
“Shouto, it’s past noon. You need to get up.”
Todoroki doesn’t stir. He keeps looking out at the sea, ignoring Fuyumi’s impatient presence at his back. The scent of saltwater is always strongest in the early morning. The harbor is already full of fishermen’s ships, heading out for a day of hard work.
Unfortunately, like the ocean, Fuyumi is immovable. “You need to get out of the house today. It’s been three weeks since you came back, and you’re starting to reek of despair.”
“Despair doesn’t have a smell,” Todoroki sighs, finally rolling over to look at her.
She folds her arms over her chest. “False: it’s what little brothers smell like after locking themselves in their room for a month. Get up. Bathe. Go to the market for me.”
Todoroki knows she won’t give up, so he pushes himself up, accepting the crutches she passes to him. She already has a tub ready, and as much as he hates to admit it, the hot water feels soothing on his aching limbs. They’re stiff after being in the same position for so long. Most of them, anyway. Todoroki has to marvel at the way the feeling in his left leg just ends at the knee. He’ll have to get used to it eventually, he supposes.
When he’s changed, Fuyumi gives him some money and kicks him out into the dismal afternoon drizzle. After the end of the war, Japan is healing slowly from its wounded pride and broken cities. Todoroki was lucky to return to his family home in Matsue, untouched by the carnage. If only his body and mind shared the same fortune.
The market is scarce with rationing still in place, but Todoroki manages to find most of Fuyumi’s list before he runs into a long line at the fish market. He settles in for the wait and picks up snippets of a conversation ahead.
“He’s raiding records and stirring up trouble with the army left and right, so much so that he’s infamous, even way out here.”
“What? All that to find one person? Kyoto men are their own brand of crazy.”
Todoroki reaches the front of the line, collects a parcel of fish, and heads home. His mind replays the strangers’ words. Kyoto is one of the only big cities unscathed after the war. Once upon a time, Bakugou had said he was from there.
Bakugou… Todoroki has been trying not to think of him. His name only brings pain. When they were separated at sea and Bakugou’s ship went down, Todoroki had minutes to panic before his own ship suffered the same fate. A slaughter, they called it. So many men lost to the sea that it was impossible to keep track of them all. Many are still lost, and even the ones that returned haven’t truly been found. They all left parts of themselves out in those bloody waters, Todoroki included.
He searched the records of their platoon and could find nothing of Bakugou Katsuki. It was almost as if he never existed. Todoroki would believe it, if not for the memories. They come on nights when the sea is calm and the sky is clear. Only good memories, which are somehow all the more painful.
Bakugou used to draw him. He was trying to be an artist before the draft, he said. He would only let Todoroki see some of his work, and never what he drew of him. He did draw him, even though he never admitted it. In every spare moment, Bakugou’s head was buried in a notebook, gaze trailing Todoroki across the deck, hand moving as if it had its own eyes.
“Shouto?” Fuyumi opens the door, which Todoroki has been standing in front of for a while. “What are you doing?”
Todoroki looks up at her, feeling clear-headed for the first time since returning home. “I want to visit Kyoto.”
***
Bakugou fiddles with a charcoal pencil. He still has to stop himself from using it. His fingers itch to sketch out the shape of familiar cheekbones. Of eyes that used to watch him. That still watch him in his nightmares. He’s afraid of what his hands will unleash if he gives them access to paper.
“Still can’t draw?” Kirishima sits beside him, an engineering journal in hand.
“No.” Bakugou sets down his pencil with a sigh. “Everything just feels so damn bland. There’s nothing beautiful here.” He’s not here, his mind corrects. He was here and now he’s not. He’s missing from me.
“You’re in a spiral,” Kirishima says. He doesn’t mean it maliciously, but it still pisses Bakugou off, even before he adds, “If you waste your life chasing after ghosts, you’ll always be living amid war.”
“What the fuck do you know?” Bakugou snaps, hugging his knees to his chest. He considers jumping off the train railing they’re perching against, but he isn’t suicidal. Yet.
“You’re stuck. That’s all I’m trying to say. This mystery person you can’t forget is like a rope. He’s keeping you tethered in a past you can’t even remember.”
“But he’s the key to remembering!” Bakugou snaps. “I know he is! If I can find him, I… I know everything will come back to me.” Bakugou’s hands clench into fists. “I’m not living in the past. I’m chasing it, but it’s moving too damn fast for me to keep up.”
Kirishima doesn’t say anything to that. How can he? Bakugou is sure he’s being clear about how desperate he is. One more dream and he’ll remember his name. Just one second longer and it will come to him. He can’t stop searching, or he’ll lose this part of himself. The part his heart won’t let go even when his mind has forgotten.
“I’m going back home.” Bakugou gets up, pausing before sticking the pencil in his coat pocket. “I’ll see you later.”
He doesn’t wait for a response. Instead, he pulls a sketch from his back pocket. Its edges are worn from constant unfolding, but the subject is as clear as when his unclouded eyes gazed upon it. There are thousands of other images like it living in Bakugou’s head, and he wonders now if it might be better to draw them. To set them free will be to experience them in the light of day. The light may be exactly what he needs most.
His hands agree all too quickly. Bakugou can’t rip new sheets of paper off fast enough before they’re filled with him. His eyes, his smile, his hands, his face, his everything. The pages spill across the floor, just like water spilled over the decks of that sinking ship so long ago. How his memories flowed out of his head and into the sea.
The sea… He lived by the sea, didn’t he?
Bakugou can recall his voice in whispers softer than crashing waves. My home is called Matsue. There’s nothing very exciting about it, but… the ocean is so close. When I wake up, I can hear it and smell it. The scent of saltwater is always strongest in the early morning.
Bakugou pauses mid-sketch. A stoic face looking out to sea watches him.
Matsue… isn’t very far away. If he’s alive, he’ll be there. He must be there. And even if he isn’t there, Matsue still might hold the key to who he is. And, just maybe, who Bakugou is.
***
“Are you sure you can handle taking the train by yourself?”
“I’m not a child, Fuyumi. I’ll be fine.” Todoroki lets her adjust the bag across his shoulders before nudging her away. “I’ll be back soon, and I’ll call when I arrive.”
“Okay, okay. I’ll see you later.” She hugs him goodbye, and Todoroki finally boards the train to Kyoto.
The ride only takes two days, and in that time, Todoroki has things to keep him occupied. He’s supposed to be studying his medical books to get back into school, but instead, he gets distracted by the paper tucked in his coat pocket. It’s a sketch of the ocean that Bakugou gave him for birthday. Fuyumi must’ve put it there. When he first arrived back home, he wouldn’t let go of it for a week.
Todoroki wonders what Kyoto is like. Bakugou spoke little about his home and himself. He always wanted to hear about Todoroki, instead. Perhaps Kyoto will reveal a new part of Bakugou. Or, with any luck, all of him.
The city is, however, not as Todoroki expected. It’s dark and rainy, but in a different way than Matsue. Kyoto rain is overwhelming and hard and doesn’t smell of the sea. Rather than wet sand and gravel underfoot, the city streets are muddy and antagonistic.
Todoroki wanders aimlessly through the center of the town, which is ablaze with activity. There are people as far as the eye can see, but none of them are the one Todoroki searches for. He should’ve come here with more than memories and a name, but it’s too late to go home now. If there’s one lesson the war taught him, it’s to always keep looking ahead. Literally, in this case.
“Watch where you’re going!” A stranger pulls Todoroki out of the way of an approaching car, which splashes then both with mud.
“Thank you,” Todoroki mutters after collecting himself. “I… I got lost in thought.”
“You seem lost in general.” The stranger pauses, doing a double-take for reasons Todoroki doesn’t understand. “Whoa, wait a second— Hey, weird random question, but you weren’t… in the navy, were you?”
“Yes. Why?”
“Oh. Oh man. I can’t explain, but you really need to come with me.” The stranger takes him by the arm. “I’ll tell you on the way. Actually, before that—do you know someone by the name of Bakugou?”
“What?” Todoroki’s heart skips a beat. He pulls the stranger to a stop. “Bakugou? Bakugou Katsuki? He’s still alive? Do you know him? Is he here? Can I see him?”
“Slow down. That’s too many questions. He’s here and alive, I’m his best friend, Kirishima, and I’ll take you to his place right now.”
“He’s… he’s really alive?” Todoroki presses a hand to his chest, feeling his pulse hammer against his fingertips. “You’re not kidding?”
“I’m serious. And from the looks of it, you’ve been searching for him as hard as he’s been searching for you.”
“He’s been searching for me?” Todoroki follows Kirishima down the street, feeling his heart slam into his chest. It’s been so long since he let himself hope… To think that Bakugou has been alive, and looking for him, this whole time is unreal.
“He’s been obsessed with finding you since he got back.” Kirishima glances at Todoroki nervously. “You probably don’t know this, but… he has severe amnesia. He regained most of his memories, but he says the time he spent in the war is hazy. Your face was the one thing he couldn’t forget.”
Todoroki wipes away a few sudden tears before Kirishima sees them. “Thank you. Thank you for telling me.”
“I just can’t believe I ran into you. He’ll lose his mind.” Kirishima stops outside a small housing unit and knocks on the door. His excitement noticeably dissipates the longer the knock goes unanswered. “Er… let me get the spare key.”
Todoroki takes a moment to cool down. He shouldn’t get his hopes up, even now. He needs to be prepared for the worst. But when the front door opens, his heart blossoms with nothing but hope. Drawings flood the room, lying across the floor in crests as big as ocean waves.
Him. It’s all him. Todoroki stares at himself on every page, staring out to sea, tying ropes, playing cards, smiling.
“He’s not here,” Kirishima says, bending down to pick up one of the drawings. “I don’t know what happened, but… I guess this probably confirms everything I said.”
“Where did he go?” Todoroki has to stop himself from grabbing Kirishima’s shoulders. Irrational panic is clawing its way to the surface. Todoroki has to reassure himself that he isn’t losing Bakugou again when he hasn’t even gotten him back yet. “Do you know why he isn’t here?”
“I’m not sure, but—“
“Oh, you’re here, Kirishima?” Someone new appears in the open doorway, shaking rain from his blond hair. “Who’s this?”
“Kaminari!” Kirishima practically jumps on the startled newcomer. “Do you know where Bakugou went?”
“Huh? Yeah. He went to Matsue to chase after that guy that he…” Kaminari pauses to look at Todoroki, then at Kirishima, then back at Todoroki. “Oh. Well. Bakugou is in Matsue, but I guess… the person he’s looking for isn’t.”
***
Matsue is completely different than Kyoto. Rather than being simply untouched by the war, it’s as if it never existed here. The people seem almost carefree; happy, even. Bakugou wanders the streets in wonder at the change. The war has touched here—it’s easy to tell—but things are already on the mend.
Bakugou finds himself in a crowded market, where rationed goods are being bartered for and carried away. His eyes comb through the rain, searching for a familiar face. He doesn’t find it, but he does spot someone who sparks the faintest recognition. He’s seen a picture of her before.
“Excuse me.” He startles her by tapping her on the shoulder, so much so that she almost smacks him. “Sorry. You just look familiar.”
The girl is about to brush him off when she does a double-take. “You’re—“ She cuts herself off; shakes her head, as if in understanding. “You missed him,” she sighs slowly. “He left for Kyoto two days ago.”
Bakugou’s hands clench into fists. She knows. “He’s looking for me?”
“He thought you were dead.” She readjusts the basket on her arm. “He only just arrived home a few weeks ago. Nothing would console him when he couldn’t find any trace of you. He‘s... well, he wasn’t well enough to searxh for you.”
“He thinks I’m dead?” Bakugou swallows thickly. He could ask her for his name, or ask when he’ll be back, but his tongue can’t form the words. “I have to go,” he mutters instead, backing away. She doesn’t stop him, so he turns to run.
He sprints all the way to the train station, the street passing by in a blur of moving feet and mud. He’s so distracted that he runs head-first into someone on the platform. They collide, Bakugou grabbing an elbow at the last second to keep them both from falling. “Sorry. I’m in—“
The world fractures, and Bakugou is suddenly back in the war. Not the violent parts, but the calm ones. The days where he would sit and sketch the same person over and over, but would never let him see no matter how much he begged. The afternoons where they played cards and swapped stories from home. The nights where they snuck into empty places and got lost in each other.
Bakugou‘s fingers have suddenly settled against his cheeks, holding his face up into the dreary evening light. His skin is soft and his eyes are lost in memories, just as Bakugou’s must be.
His name… His name is…
Bakugou feels himself smile for the first time in months. “Todoroki.”
He doesn’t recognize his own voice. It’s never been so soft. So close to breaking. But then again, he’s never experienced this type of relief before. The final pieces of his memory settle back into place, and his heart becomes whole again. The war that’s been waging inside of him ever since he woke up has finally been won.
Todoroki hugs him, his arms solid and achingly real. He pulls back to look at him, tears trickling from the eyes that used to haunt Bakugou’s dreams. “I missed you,” he says, so softly it’s almost a whisper.
Bakugou kisses him to steal the sadness from his voice. Then he kisses him again. And again, until he thinks he might know he is. Who they both are.
The war is over. This time, for good.
#hi#i am posting one tmore temporarily-off-hiatus-before-getting-back-on-hiatus request#and i'm dead#rip#i physically cannot handle this#;-;#answered asks#calla.txt#todobaku#trope prompts
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