#over something I'm Also upset abt?? idk
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they're at mad at me island i should cvt
#cvt#cvtting#I'm like ... 2 months clean question mark#i unfortunately am Very good at like .. invalidating myself abt sh and all#so I barely even count what I did as cvts lmao#I have a few scars that haven't faded yet on my thigh though so that's. something#you know how it is#and like of course do not take my words here as like . idk Truth. like#if you've got small ones that's still sh yk like. that's still ??#i don't rlly know how to go abt talking here lol#i try not to log in too much. makes me worse I think#ur all valid is what I'm getting at#anyway . they are ignoring me on purpose bc I accidentally did something#and its making me feel like fucking shit but I don't want to tell them that bc like?? if they're reacting like this#over something I'm Also upset abt?? idk#i've been able to vent to them a Lot and have felt v safe abt it but mm. I'm unfortunately very sensitive lol#and idk if I will be able to confide in them for a fucking While again#I don't want to break my streak though. also I've always been afraid of bleeding so LMAOOOO#im not letting myself sleep tonight instead. haven't done that since hs but uhmm Oh Well it is what it is#doubt they're in these corners of Tumblr but if u know who this is Sowwy !#🐦⬛posting
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again and again i find myself lamenting that audio roleplay isn't taken more seriously by some people. like yeah, they often have a romantic element, and by nature they usually directly involve/address the listener- and i totally get that those things aren't to everyone's taste. no art or entertainment is universally appealing, and that's okay! but.. it still makes me a lil sad that the "cringe" reputation of asmr/audio rp precedes it. there's a whole lot of talent and creativity being poured into these audios by so many people that i feel goes unrecognized and/or disrespected simply due to the medium that the stories are being told through.
#this post brought to you by: me bingeing Sam & Darlin's entire storyline over the past few days and having a Lot of feelings abt it#asmr#audio roleplay#rp audio stuff#redacted audio#anyways i don't have a conclusion to this post. and i'm not Mad or Upset or anything i'm just thinkin' out loud#and i mean it's not like it doesn't get plenty of praise within its respective audience bc it does. at least for the more popular creators#but i feel it'll still always have the shadow of its cringe reputation looming over it#which makes it hard for some ppl to openly appreciate or share with others that aren't already fans of the medium#like do u know how many comments i've seen along the lines of 'this is great but i'd die if anyone knew i liked this kinda stuff' ?? :(#idk maybe i feel strongly about it bc i'm a self-insert fanfic writer. and i feel like the two have a lot in common. including a bad rep.#like. not every audio will be well-written or produced and neither will every fanfic. but that doesn't mean it's a less legitimate artform#and i'm lucky to have never (yet) received negative comments on my work. but that doesn't mean that it doesn't make me sigh when people-#-say shit like 'this reads like fanfiction' as a way of calling something bad. or other similar sentiments that make the same implication#and i wouldn't be surprised if audio creators feel the same way when they encounter certain comments or statements#like. those YT videos where ppl will 'try bf asmr for the first time' or whatever and it's just 20 mins of cringing and over-reacting? eugh#tbf i haven't watched many bc why do that to myself. so Maybe there's some that are respectful but still. imagine getting roasted like that#and yes yes i know that by posting stuff online you're inadvertently sighing up to be criticized by Anyone but still. man. i dunno#i'm going on a tangent but my point is. i'm grateful for the creators that still make their art in spite of the public's perception of it#bc some of the most impactful emotional experiences i've ever gained from fiction took place in audio rp and i'm so serious abt that.#anyways. this post almost feels like i'm 'making up a person to be mad at' but i promise it's not that serious i'm just yapping. mostly.#certainly not trying to start any kind of debate or anything either i just have a lot of fixation-induced energy and nowhere to put it#this is Eric's fault (/lh) for cooking Sam up in a lab catered exactly to my taste and making Darlin' waaaaay too painfully relatable#but it's also My fault for bingeing the Inversion /and/ the Quinn arc /and/ the Summit all within a couple days. but i can't help myself#feels like i've run an emotional marathon. triathlon. The Emotional Olympics if u will. i'm feeling Everything#who knew that beating the shit out of ur fictional abuser could feel so goddamn cathartic! it's a nice replacement when u can't do it irl#anyways i'm off on a tangent again. thanks for coming to my TED Talk i'm gonna crawl back in my hole now#actually i'm gonna go relisten to a few audios. as Research for my Sam & Darlin' playlist as well as a post i'll be making about it soon#u Know i've got it bad when i not only make a playlist but start Posting on here about the songs that remind me of them. i'm cooked guys.
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I fucking love video games that are buggy as fuck
Fucking around in Vault 3, helping those guys escape- I come back with the key and two of them are outside the cage and one of the Fiends is inside it instead. I'm like "wow okay," move on, unlock the cage.
And then I just. Get to watch them all crouch and "sneak" out of the cage, pushing up against and stopping in front of Fiends the whole way.
I genuinely don't know if they're supposed to just be fine once you open the cage? So like maybe that last bit is par for the course. But coming back to two of them just wandering that room, chillin with the captors? Incredible. 10/10 I recommend this game to everyone.
#queued#jay.txt#fallout new vegas#can i like. comment on a thing btw. here in the comfort and safety of my tags?#does anyone else find getting good karma exclusively from (at least so far as I've seen) killing Fiends a little. Not Fucking Great?#like. idk. when i first heard about them in game it was from betsy and she has that one line abt them and like. it kinda set a tone for me#+maybe. 'cause barring the fiends we're given specified crimes for (and thus I DO enjoy my good karma from) they're just. addicts?#idk it just rubs me wrong. especially walking around this vault without having aggro'd them. like they don't even get upset with you for +#+taking their chems??? which i expected to be a problem 100%. but no. they just let you do whatever. they're just Fiending as it were#i do recognize that like. They've Fucking Done Shit. like killing the original vault dwellers who apparently just invited them in. that's +#+horrible yeah I agree. but how am i meant to know/believe they were all 100% complicit in that? how recent was that also? there's possibly#+people in this faction who DIDN'T do that yk? idk. idk. I'm overthinking it but it just rubs me wrong. like you're not gonna give me good#+karma for killing the slaver faction but I can get it for killing addicts? sure. okay. definitely not fucking weird behavior#Rant Over it's just been on the mind. until I get a mission that makes me be aggressive w them in there I'm gonna leave them be I think#like rogues that just attack me? sure. self defense. but if they've not attacking me we're just gonna chill#(queued june 9th)#future/present me here with an update! Finally encountered something else that gave me good karma for killing it! it was a feral ghoul +#+trooper. not sure how I feel about that 100%? i think i lean mostly towards ''yeah fair enough.'' it does make me feel a little less Hm +#+about the Fiend good karma though. just a little. but seriously why am I not getting it from Legion troops-#(additional tags added june 13th)
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every day I want to cover the last tattoo I got more & more cause God forbid someone think I got it cause of a certain fandom..................
#I just literally don't know how to approach that subject w/an artist like heyyyy!#you did a tattoo. on my body. and now! I want it covered up by something else!#like. the thought alone makes me want to vomit until I die#it's not the quality of the work! it's just 🥴 I just want it to be covered up with another kitty tattoo at this point#I know this is a subject I COULD talk abt w/my artist he's a HELLA chill guy idk I don't think he'd be upset?#but it's just like OMG such a THING you know? like FCK.#but I also feel like tattoo artists are more.... understanding of like hey! bodily autonomy! we all make choices! and sometimes!#we wanna change em!#idk idk idk idk been having LOTS of thoughts for LOTS of months#I just wish I knew like..... what the reception would be if I asked abt it cause I REALLY like my artist I REALLY like the shop#and it's not like it's HIS own *original* art I want covered#idk man idk I got other tattoos I don't LOVE but they're on my back so no one ever sees em#IDK IDK IDK I LITERALLY MAKE MYSELF SICK TO MY STOMACH AGONIZING OVER THIS#I don't want my artist to hate me but I kinda do really want this one covered up with something else so bad that#I've already planned out what I'd want covering it....... like that's a bad way to feel abt a tattoo right?#literally feel like I'm gonna hurl up my cereal now thinkin abt it hahahahha 🥴😖😟😔🤢😵💫☹️#erin explains it all
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HELLO I ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOU!!
spencer or remus being teased for being awkward/not knowing how to get a girlfriend by his friends and maybe they take it a lil too far this time because he comes home to reader very annoyed and is basically like "hmph thinking I don't know how to please a woman, I'm gonna give you the BEST time tonight"
im so sorry this is just filth but the idea made me ferallllllllll
(CONGRATS 3.5K AS WELL!!!!)
i love you too!! omg this is from almost a year ago... 3.5k!! also PSA: there's nothing wrong with being a virgin! the only reason it's so upsetting of a label to spencer in this is bc everyone's teasing him about it and using it as an insult, so he's getting sensitive about it </3
combined with: idk man just smth abt the thought of spencer grabbing ur ass while making out w u.... 🥵
this post is 18+, minors dni.
Spencer's exceedingly gentle when he comes home. His demeanor is soft to begin with, but hemmed with exhaustion, and it means that you don't know he's home until he slips his hands over your shoulders and buries his nose in your cheek from behind.
Today, though, you hear his keys jammed into the door, and he slams it shut when he enters. At first you think it's an intruder, no way is your sweet boy huffing and puffing about. But your wide, panicked eyes fall on the boyfriend you're so fond of, and you watch as he wrestles his hair out of his face while trying to peer down at the shoes he's toeing off.
"Hi, Spence." You test him, cautious and slow, "Everything alright?"
"It will be," He huffs, bag thrown to the ground. You cringe at the sight before remembering there's no laptop inside, something you could never do with your own bag.
"Bad day? I'm sorry, honey, do you wanna talkaboutit- Oh!"
He rushes towards you, gripping your waist in his hands. There's no time to calmly finish your sentence when his lips crash to your own, frustration ebbing into his movements as force.
"Spence- Spencer!" You manage to blubber, holding your hands steady against his cheeks and pushing him back. You're breathless, lips tingling and core doing the same. He raises an eyebrow at you in display of a side of him you've never seen before, and something below your stomach wriggles in delight.
"What's going on?" You query, "Not- not that I don't enjoy it, but this isn't you."
He scoffs, eyes rolling as his hands tighten around your hips, "Why does everyone think I'm some fuck-up virgin?"
"Woah," You stop pushing his cheeks away and grab them instead, redirecting his exasperated gaze to your own, "Spencer you almost mauled me when you came in, now this? What's the matter, honey?"
"Morgan and Prentiss made a bet," He huffs, "Derek thinks I'll be a virgin until 30. Emily says 40."
"But you're not," You frown, brows furrowed as your cheeks heat up at memories of sex-capades past, "Just tell them that, and- and take their money!"
"I tried," He groans, "They didn't believe me. They thought I was making you up."
"Oh, Spence." You sigh, leaning in to nuzzle your nose with his, "I'm sorry. That's mean."
"I'm not hopeless," He grumbles, speaking almost against your lips, "Not like that. Not with you."
"No, you are not," You laugh breathlessly, "You want me to mark up your neck? Show 'em I'm real?"
"That's..." He debates, brows raised in intrigue, "Not the worst idea I've ever heard. But- but not yet, angel."
"Oh?" You hum, lips dotting against his cheek, "Is there something else you want to do first?"
"Several things," One corner of his mouth lifts as he hikes your leg up on his waist, hands greedily grabbing at the globes of your ass, "Come on, angel. Let's prove 'em wrong."
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid scenario#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid one-shot#spencer reid one shot#spencer reid headcanons#spencer reid headcanon#spencer reid hc#spencer reid hcs#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid blurb#spencer reid drabble#spencer reid dialogue#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x reader fanfiction
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heyy could u pls do an ollie bearman drabble abt comforting him after a tough race and maybe playing with his hair (idk i feel like he’s the type to enjoy someone playing w his hair 🥹 he’s so cute)
i loved writing this so much! hope you enjoy it!
word count. 0.56k
read under the cut
forever person — ollie bearman
It had been one of the worst races for Ollie so far this season. When you'd watched him cross the line outside of the points, you instantly knew how upset he'd be — Ollie had a bad habit of bottling up all his emotions, trying to hide the worst of them behind a smile. Most people in the paddock may have been fooled, but you weren't.
"Is it ok if we stay in tonight?" he asked you on the way back to your hotel room. You couldn't say no; not when he gazed up at you with those big brown eyes and fluffy, disheveled hair from his balaclava. You would have done anything in your power to comfort him then, because you knew how much he needed it. Even if he tried to hide his emotions from others, he never did from you.
Your shared hotel room was your safe space. Within a few minutes of arriving, Ollie had thrown his bag into the bedroom and flung himself down on the sofa, face first. You waited a few moments with a small, sad smile, unpacking his bag for him and your own. Then you too moved to the sofa, tapping his legs softly to prompt him to move over. Ollie did just that, immediately opening his arms to pull you into a much-needed hug.
"You know I'm always proud of you, right? No matter what." you whispered. Ollie merely hummed in reply, but that was all you needed. Just having him here was enough.
"We can do whatever you want tonight." you went on, humming as he buried his face into the crook of your neck. For a moment it was quiet. You knew he must have heard you because your mouth was so close to his hear, so he clearly just didn't feel like speaking at that moment. You sighed. It was going to take a little more than comforting words to cheer him up.
Slowly, you shuffled a little in his grip, moving your arms to wrap around his shoulders and pull him into your chest. Then, you moved one hand to the soft curls on the top of his head, threading your fingers through them methodically. Ollie let out a contented sigh, and you smiled. He was simple, easy to please in that respect; a creature of habit. Somehow, you playing with his hair always seemed to calm him right down, no matter how upset he had been.
So you stayed like that — it could have been for only a few minutes, but it also could have been hours. Neither of you kept track of the time. You entertained yourself by twisting tiny little braids into his ringlets, and pressing soft kisses to the side of his face whenever you heard his breathing shallow with emotion. Before long, Ollie was calm, whispering about how good you were to him into the skin of your neck.
"Thank you." was the last thing he murmured, before you both drifted off into a warm, comfortable sleep. You didn't answer, but the gentle press of your lips on his forehead was as good a reply as any. Even on Ollie's worst days, when he dropped places or when he crashed out, he knew you would always be there to support him and comfort him afterwards. That was what made everything ok. He had you, his forever person by his side.
requests are open! send something in if you’d like!
#request#ollie bearman#ollie bearman imagine#ollie bearman x reader#ollie bearman x fem!reader#ollie bearman x you#ollie bearman x oc#ollie bearman x fem!oc#ollie bearman fluff#ollie bearman angst#ollie bearman blurb#ollie bearman drabble#ollie bearman au#ollie bearman social media au#ollie bearman instagram au#ollie bearman twitter au#formula 2#formula 2 imagine#formula 2 fluff#formula 2 imagines#formula 1#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 imagines#formula 2 fic#ollie bearman fic#ollie bearman fanfic#formula 2 fanfic
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AITA for coming out as bi to my girlfriend and voicing my concerns to her
I (18M) have been dating my girlfriend, L (20F) for three years now. our relationship has been great so far, we were attracted to each other from the start. she has always been very flirty and tbh that's how she won me over at first, because teenage hormones are gonna teenage hormones y'know, but when I got to know her better as a person I realized my feelings for her weren't just sexual - she is kind, gentle, overall really sweet. I was, and still am, attracted to her in every way. L is also openly bisexual, fully out, and idk I've always felt so safe around her because she doesn't judge others, I think she's so beautiful inside and out. she has been my first girlfriend ever so I always do my best to be supportive and make her feel loved.
a few months ago I realized I'm bi. I thought, hey, since she always speaks about her own bisexuality I think I can tell her I'm bi as well. she was, as usual, very non-judgemental but she said something that I didn't like, something like "you see how much I love and trust you? someone else would've been like OMG YOU'RE PROBABLY JUST GAY AND YOU WANT TO CHEAT ON ME WITH A GUY". I was,, confused bc 1. I think supporting your partner when they come out is the bare minimum, 2. she is bisexual herself and I don't think shes gonna cheat on me with a girl, I never acted like I was great for supporting her and 3. I know I'm not gay because L can do whatever she wants with me so I dunno what that comment was for. I've enjoyed my intimate encounters with her too much to be gay and she knows this.
I was a bit annoyed but still grateful that she was supportive. I noticed our sexual activities increased after that and a part of me wondered if she was trying to make sure I'm not gay. which made her look like a bit of a hypocrite because she never had to "prove" to me that she's not gay. not complaining tho - I just found it odd? I think it's a weird double standard, but then again I know women are always putting up with double standards so I feel like I can't tell her abt how strange her comment was. I just don't want L to think I'm not attracted to her and I started feeling like an asshole for telling her I'm bi.
but she got actually upset over something else that has nothing to do with us being bi - when we first started talking, she was dating another guy. I knew this, so I was respectful, I thought that L being flirty with me was some kind of joke until she told me she was serious and she couldn't stop thinking about me. L didn't cheat on him, she broke up with him before she started dating me, and recently I told her "hey... I won't be that guy one day, right? I trust you and I know you won't cheat on me, but I remembered how our friendship first started and if you ever stop loving me I would like to know before you feel ignored enough to start flirting with other guys". she got very visibly upset, she said I was right, said she felt cheap and like a whore and ???? NOT AT ALL WHAT I FUCKING MEANT. I was trying to tell her I want us to have communication, because I love her and I want our relationship to work out.
I feel like a shitty person and boyfriend, first for telling her I'm bi even though it wouldn't have an impact on our relationship, then for trying to voice my concerns and accidentally making her feel that way.
I've apologized a few times and we're good now but she introduced me to her best friend and,, this girl just started talking abt how she will guide me so I can properly take care of L? it made me feel really stupid. I felt like a child tbh. we are bi but not poly (I respect those who are, just giving you context) so idk why she felt she had to insert her friend into our relationship. am I really so bad that my girlfriend has to ask her friend to teach me how to be good to her? I would understand this if L had some sort of disability but her friend just talks to me about BDSM and doms/subs and like ??? I feel like L being a sub has fuck all to do with our argument, but I still feel terrible. pls help me make sense of these things. I want to know if I am the asshole.
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What did this customer even want from me??
She was very upset when she came in to return a bra with a defect, which I could tell was a manufacturers fault not hers. So I immediately apologized and asked if she wanted us to replace or refund it. She continued waving the bra in my face asking how she was supposed to wear a broken bra. I again apologized and asked if she wanted her money back or a replacement and she kept going on abt how this is unnacceptable.
Finally I got thru to her that I was trying to help her and she let me do the replacement (a return and then the replacement at half price so she gets half money back but still gets a replacement) and I also gave her a 40% coupon for her trouble and she still stood there arguing asking what we were going to do for her to "make it right" and I'm like?? U have the item u originally wanted, for half the price, and a higher coupon than our store usually gives (our store usually only does 15% for most sales and coupons) and a clerk bending over backwards apologizing and sucking up to u.
What else was it she was wanting? She wouldn't specify and just kept demanding we "make it right" as if there was something specific she wanted me to offer but idk what it was???
Posted by admin Rodney.
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My sister in law and I once had a very deep chat where she told me she's a bit jealous of how I'm "capable" of obsessing over interests; I got the feeling that to her it seemed like a specific type of joy she would never really know. In turn, I told her that even though I sometimes wish it had an off switch, I rlly can't imagine a version of myself thay doesn't get joyfully hyperfixated on things, since it's so intrinsic to my personality/neuro-chemistry.
Anyways, I totally relate to that feeling of detached embarrassment, but it was eye-opening to talk abt it with her and see that A) some people really admire the capacity for such "passion" and B) some people genuinely just can't have that experience, which seems both unthinkable and obvious lol
I genuinely can't imagine a life like that for myself either. I've gone through periods of time before where I wasn't hyperfixated on something and genuinely I felt like...deeply empty the entire time. As soon as something new entered my life to fixate on I felt like myself again. I definitely have interests and hobbies that I enjoy in a very normal non-obsessive way but it feels so different and they don't feel like...sustainable. like I'm just living off of bread and milk. idk how else to phrase that. because the things I always hyperfixate on are tv shows and fictional characters I kind of just assumed it came with the territory of being an artist, cuz as a creator it's like...this is what I'm meant to do with my life, right? I know I'm supposed to be telling stories and creating characters and exploring concepts through fiction so it makes perfect sense that I'm depressed without any source of inspiration or rejuvenation. Cuz it's inspiring as hell to be hyperfixated on something!! it gives me endless energy and inspiration to create and that makes me feel amazing.
most of my friends are ND too but I know some of them aren't the same as me in this regard and they've even expressed similar jealousy that they're not someone who obsesses over things. it's both understandable and so weird to me cuz obviously you can't pick and choose what your brain is gonna latch on to but like...you haven't even had ONE time in your life where you spent years only thinking about one thing? not even once? that's unfathomable to me, that's like my entire life.
and while I definitely do not enjoy the embarrassment of having feelings and how upsetting it can be to constantly be distracted from real life tasks that take priority and also feeling self conscious and wondering if I even have a personality sometimes beyond my fave video games/shows/movies, I'm really glad that I'm someone who can experience it cuz it really does feel like I'm just sitting around and waiting if I don't have a story to think about all the time. sometimes I hear people talk about how stressful and sad it is that they feel so deeply and I'm like yeah I mean sometimes but like...what about the joy. what about all the love. there's nothing sad about it! embarrassing sometimes yeah but that's worth it if it means I get to be so deeply happy and excited! I'll complain from time to time but never in a THOUSAND years would I ever want to change this about myself. I will take all the embarrassing annoying feelings if it means I get to experience pure wild autistic joy haha
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Reading the anon abt the doll hobby not having anti drama, and I just had to make sure it didn't mention the BJD hobby, because that one is filled with drama and anti drama. I'm probably more prone to look for drama, but some of it isn't hard to find.
Idk why but I almost wanna share some of my highlights, so I'll do that. Buckle up, this is a long one, and it's only scratching some of the dumb shit bullshit that's happened over the years.
People constantly let themselves be scammed. There are some well known people, and when you look up their seller names you can literally find people who keep up with their renaming because they're such notorious scammers. People still "take a chance" and then a few weeks later: Guys you won't believe this, I got scammed.
There was an entire thing surrounding a company (companies?) selling dolls in the tone oriental. People were using that name because that's what it's literally named, and other people got upset and started an entire discourse about it. Yeah, only that it was an Asian company that had named that tone, they had been made aware of some Western collectors being upset about it, and really didn't care. There are several instances of Asian sellers and companies from Asia using the terms oriental.
The discourse about one Chinese doll company who made a statement on their Eng twitter about supporting the CCP in attacking Hong Kong. People were rightfully upset at the company, which had previously been criticized in the Western hobby sphere for Nazi-themed dolls. Yeah, so people started defending the company, claiming that the only did it to not get hurt by the CCP. Except no other company did something that stupid. It took several Chinese hobbyists from China coming over and making it pretty clear that that company has a real bad reputation in the Chinese hobby to begin with, and to stop defending them especially for the HK thing because that was their choice.
The hobby is actually incredibly open for cultural exchanges, and appreciation. But every once in a while there are people who start bitching about cultural appropriation, and then everyone has to tell them to shut up because people love their dolls and just think it looks neat and want to share.
On the topic of cultural appropriation. Some times the people who bitch about it mess up and attack people of that culture. One such person made a red doll, put it in a qipao for Lunar New year some years ago, saying she's a dragon. Yeah, turns out the artist is Chinese, and the people angry about "White people take a red doll, put it in a qipao calling it a dragon are fucking racist cultural appropriators." Also, once that came out, even before that, a bunch of people once again came in and made fun of these people, especially those that culturally celebrate Lunar new year.
On the same wave though, lol, that artist who made the doll is infamous for her completely batshit doll pre-order, and then her trying to hide that she took the money of a bunch of people and ran. It's even a doll that a lot of doll ooak artist youtubers worked with. The entire story is fucking wild, beyond her trying to blame the company (one person?) who'd produce them, and then pretending it was some flaw with the system they used to let people order.
"If you use runes, I'm gonna view you as a white Supremacist until you prove otherwise." Scandinavians and even Scandinavian poc people told them to shut up (there were actually good arguments about how offensive that statement was, but it was a good dress down), and then clearly not Scandinavian nor Scandi poc decided to double down. Last I saw there was still a stalemate between the Scandi's, and people who're sensible, and the people who just wanna be racist about Nordic runes and call them all white supremacist and attacking Scandi poc.
Sex dolls aren't BJDs...
People are also bitching about "child coded" dolls being put in naughty stuff. The problem is that these dolls often are bobbleheaded anime looking mofos. Even in the cases where you have a child doll: It's still not child porn. It's a hunk of plastic, calm down.
Some doll companies, like VOLKS have raffles/lotteries to have a change to buy the doll. You heard that right, just to be able to buy it. There has been tons of discourse about how unfair it is that US people get to enter twice. Or how people who don't even want the dolls just the raffles.
Scalpers. Nuff said.
People who can't budget, and constantly make that everyone else's problem when they buy a new doll they can't afford and then start panicking.
Customs. By God the customs bitching.
Paypal friends&family. For the love of Christ, stop buying things from random people with F&F especially when you don't know them, or if they're a confirmed fucking scammer.
There's literally a guy who's doll at first glance have some of the best diversity and rep, but the guy is an absolute asshole, and part of the hobby don't really know how to handle it. Small list: Told a disabled person who got frustrated when they were completely unable to assemble it that his dolls aren't made for them. Constantly bans people from buying from him for the dumbest reasons, like 1) Guy asking how shipping would be handled during 2020. 2) Person who got a faulty product, and asked what to do with it.* 3) Assuming a buyer was another already banned person, when it was made clear they weren't he still kept the ban. 4) Basically anyone who critiques his dolls. *He claims "wabi sabi", even though some of the product issues are way beyond any wabi sabi aesthetic. He also calls his "haters" the "entitled" and once made a comic about "eradicating the entitled" and had a doll in a striking uniform salute with a flat hand. Yeah so a Jewish person mentioned how the wording and pic combined gave bad Nazi'esque image and that he should avoid it. He banned the Jewish person. (The Jewish person was very respectful about it, and explained why phrasing things like "eradicating the entitled" and some other stuff was not a good combination.)
--
I remember back in the 00s seeing endless wank over people's porny photoshoots with their multiple BJDs that were styled as a visual kei group.
Also everyone's favorite perpetual wank topic: "OMG, how do you have 5? That's my rent for months!"
To this day, I see the acronym "BJD" and think "Time for popcorn!" even though I rarely see the wank anymore.
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hi!!!!!! I survived my finals so now I can brainrot again 🤭
daydreaming of cove and rereading ur posts have LICHRALLY been keeping me afloat the past two weeks and all I can think of is my out of state-college mc having a tearful reunion w cove after coming home for winter break 😪
and the whole family finds it amusing cause it’s only been a few weeks since thanksgiving break and yall saw each other back then there’s no need for another round of tears 😭��
they don’t kno the tears r from when cove couldn’t hug and comfort u during ur exams and could only talk u thru it over the phone
-🗑️
OMG HIII it's been so quiet from you and 🕓anon so i figured school was kicking your ass, especially since its exam season i would say i'm glad im not in school but im thinking of going this spring/summer semester.... goodbye fantasies of a gap year. you were a nice dream.... :,) also now i need cove comforting mc through school so mayhaps a tiny ramble bc i started thinking abt it too n we actually needa talk abt mc/cove in school more bc it's yummy thought
omg you and cove only survived being apart by constant video calls
you'd be on your side of the state, homework spread out over the table, your computer sounding like a helicopter ready for take off, crying or on the verge of tears
and then cove is on his side, flustered or teary because you're upset so it makes him upset and he can't comfort you so now you're just crying over *insert subject here*
he's a silly lil guy
tries to help you study
(i just thought abt yall using kisses as motivation but that'd definitely be a distraction in practice. lots of homework went undone that way)
if you have to make something, and it won't take too long to ship, he'll buy something you need for the project, be it because you forgot or can't find it in stores or don't have enough money, or none of the above- he just does it bc he can, and mail it to you
i had a photography class (i hated it for personal reasons, the teachers/class was great but i did not need that 💀💀)
and my friends would send me pics they took n i'd use them for class right
i think cove would help you that way
probably needs help from someone else or asks you for tips but delivers nice pictures
omg. cove ordering you food or money for food
isn't listening at all if you protest, he just wants to do something nice for you
idk about yall but i need distractions after tests/homework bc im convinced i bombed it
the whole day youre attached to the hip, always holding hands or cuddling
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Okay yeah no I need to yell abt Valentino's behavior during Stayed Gone and the scenes surrounding it some more because it makes me rEALLY FUCKING FRUSTRATED-
First of all: Val is partially the reason Stayed Gone even happens in the first place. While I do believe Vox would've done something similar had he figured out Al was at the hotel some other way, Val still encouraged Vox to react the way he did. The smiles, the teasing, the way he subtly reminds Vox why he hates Alastor in the first place... it's all very intentional. He is purposefully trying to get Vox pissed off. He wants a show. A show that he KNOWS is going to cause damage to the Vees image, which he also knows is very important to Vox. He also ABSOLUTELY could've told Vox this information sooner! He probably heard about Alastor being at the hotel from Angel, and we know that episode one takes place like a week after the pilot. Val probably knew Alastor was there for at most a week before he told Vox. He was saving that information(for some fucking reason idfk). And like to be fair I don't think just randomly bringing that up to Vox would be a very good idea, but like. Val also picked a really weird time to tell him anyway so. There was probably some kind of ulterior motive there. Also I've seen a couple people saying this so I'm just gonna get it out of the way right now: THIS IS ABSOLUTELY NOT THE SAME THING AS VOX SUBTLY MANIPULATING VAL TO GET HIM TO CALM DOWN. Vox did that as a way to prevent Val from shooting up a fucking building, one that also happened to contain the LITERAL PRINCESS OF HELL!!! There was no waiting for Val to calm down in that scenario, he had to get him to stop. Val was also literally throwing shit at him??? Fuck I'm surprised Vox didn't pull the manipulation card sooner. I've gone into it in depth before but for the sake of this post I'm going to reiterate: FIGHTING BACK AGAINST SOMEBODY WHO HAS BEEN THROWING SHIT AT YOU AND IS ACTIVELY THREATENING TO DO SOMETHING LIKE SHOOT UP A BUILDING WITH THE SECOND MOST POWERFUL BEING IN HELL INSIDE IS NOT ABUSE!!!!!!!!!! LIKE HOLY FUCK I SHOULDN'T EVEN HAVE TO SAY THIS IT'S NOT EVEN FUCKING CLOSE TO ABUSE YALL NEED TO STOP SAYING THIS SHIT!!!!!!!! Vox was trying to prevent Val from doing something OBSCENELY stupid, Val was actively encouraging Vox to do the dumbest fucking thing possible. These actions are not the same. They do not carry the same weight.
*ahem* Anyways, that brings us to the singing portion of Stayed Gone, which to be fair Val isn't really in all that much. But when he IS, boy howdy is he NOT acting like somebody who was very clearly trying to get this reaction literally 30 seconds ago. He shows up like. 3 times. And every time he looks put off by Vox's behavior. BITCH YOU WANTED THIS THE FUCK!?!?!?!? This is the part that makes me really mad. I don't even know WHY it's so upsetting to me- the manipulation is shitty yeah but to have the fucking GAUL to act like you weren't TRYING TO GET THIS REACTION afterwards is just. What. No! What???? That's. What the fuck???? You are not allowed to encourage somebody to make a public fool of themself and then be embarrassed when they make a public fool of themself. It is simply against the rules. Also his complete disinterest during the meeting scene... like okay, lets contrast this with Velvette's behavior for a second, right? She also looks upset during Stayed Gone, but she didn't egg Vox on the way Val did, in fact she probably had no idea what was going on until the song started, so she gets a pass. Then, during the meeting scene, she. She actually participates. She gives genuine suggestions and actually pays attention to what Vox & Val are saying. I'm on the fence over wether this should be considered bare minimum or not because, while Al forming an alliance with Charlie WOULD be a big deal, we don't actually know how much this would effect specifically the Vees so. Idk. But still she's doing more than fucking Val!!! Valentino "someone who owes us much more than money" HazbinHotel is just sitting there, bedazzling his gun, giving weird vague suggestions that barely even apply to the situation. Velvette wins this interaction, gold star for her, because LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK VAL-
Anyways, in conclusion, Val's behavior in this scene makes me really mad and is thus far completely unjustified by the narrative. Vox never does anything even REMOTELY similar to him, at least not that we know of, and Velvette, the person who is MUCH LESS INVOLVED IN VOX AND ALASTOR'S BULLSHIT THEN VAL IS, is still somehow taking the situation more seriously then Val, who is, once again, LITERALLY THE ONE WHO ENCOURAGED THIS BULLSHIT!!!! The bar was on the floor and yet Val somehow managed to limbo his way under it. I hate it here.
#its 2am and Im writing this isntead of doinf my latin homework#Idk I just had to get this out-#Valentino makes me mad. His behavior makes me angry.#tho that's literally what he's supposed to do so like. Good job writers you sure did get the point across :)#hazbin hotel#the vees#hazbin valentino#hazbin hotel valentino#valentino hazbin hotel#hazbin vox#hazbin velvette#I am once again not tagging this as ship because its. its not ship-#late night ramblings#gal overanalyzes random shit
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Tweels hc doodles + notes!
Goodness me, I've not been working on these for very long but here's all of what I've thought of within 2 days of thinking about them!! I basically started writing about them the moment I finished drawing "the fuck you brothers" post (9/24) (and today, 9/26) I totally have been thinking about them more after I wrote all this, so I will be continuing on with my hcs right here, under the cut :3 (keep in mind I have not yet played twst! If I get anything gravely wrong correct me!) (9/28, edit: I downloaded twst y'all...)
Both of the twins are autistic, just being on very different ends of er... intensity? Idk how to word that. I just mean that Floyd is someone who has trouble regulating his emotions and stims a lot. Jade doesn't stim as often, he probably would if he were infodumping about mushrooms/his terrariums or whatever else. I think I mean. That Jade suppressed his autistic tendencies by a lot to seem more like a gentleman, while Floyd doesn't really give much of a shit and probably doesn't even know he's autistic.
on that note they both have ADHD. AuDHD brothers.
Anyways as I way saying abt Floyd stimmies; He stims a LOT. Just, all the damn time. It gets so annoying for a lot of people and everyone knows he can't control it. His clingyness is also stimming, he's very touchy. A lot of stim toys don't actually help him but he does calm down significantly more when he's wearing headphones and listening to loud music. That's what stimulates him the most.
Jade only stims when excited, yeah I mentioned that. But did I mention he also stims a lot when stressed. In front of costumers, if he was stressed he might only fiddle with his fingers behind his back. But as soon as he gets away it's full body stimming time baby. Mans is not okay but he cannot let that mask slip!! (I forgot the word before, but I meant to say in my first dotpoint that jade is better at masking than Floyd!!)
Floyd mcr liker >_< (songs about depression and drugs to think about violence to!) Floyd also likes shit like "41 mins of roblox music" or any spongebob music. skull emoji.
Jade Laufey liker :33 (calm songs to think about violence to!)
Floyd likes dancing around in his room to music. Like really getting into it. Putting one song on loop and doing the same dance moves over and over again. (stimming) (oh my god I'm PROJECTING AGAIN stop....)
Jade likes drawing mushrooms. He's really good at drawing nature and when I say "good" I mean if you looked at it, you'd think it was a picture. Like abnormally good for someone who used to not even have paper available...
I saw this from a moot once on twitter I think, but they both (+ Azul) probably had a hard time adjusting to walking around everywhere instead of swimming when they first came onto land. And I think there was something about holding on to bars on stairs WAYY too tight because they feel so wobbly going up them. Same with like, escalators? and elevators? didn't fucking trust them. And they still don't sometimes... Adding onto this I think that they'd both get really frustrated at first with it. Like genuinely really upset; Floyd dramatically falling to the floor and flailing around on the verge of tears while Jade punches the ground over and over... They obviously got better at land things after a long while but for a bit they were just so. not okay LOL
I think for casual/home clothes they'd both be really into big fluffy jumpers. massive fucking huge fluffy shits. They'd be all over the texture and it would be so so texture /pos drooling emoji
I had a little thing that I thought of where I would give Floyd Heart shaped eye shines PLUS an extra smaller not heart eye shine. And giving Jade a square shaped shine with no extra shines. It just makes so much sense to me. Like I can't explain it very well but if you get it, you get me. Do you get me...
WHICH leads me to say then that when Floyd gets MAD he would have NO eye shines. Do you get me. I totally make sense right/. And Jade getting happy about anything even if it doesn't show on his face it would totally show in his eyes... Which also brings me back to something I wrote in my doodle notes with the pupils being like cats... OUGH I'M GOING INSANE DO I MAKE SENSE
another thing my twt moot said !! Floyd would hate necklaces/rings/other accessories and jewelry! It relates back to my point about Floyd hating the feeling of tight clothes, and things touching his skin too much. I feel like if he had say, a necklace on for like 0.1s he would rip it the fuck off, destroying the necklace in the process
Floyd: :3 (aggressive)
Floyd loving to squeeze people but hurting them is 90% of the time on purpose hurting and 10% accidental hurting and when it IS accidental he gets so upset about it. I like to think Floyd is the more emotional out of the two... just so many emotions in that boy. like he just !! wants to give you love !!! but he's so strong he breaks ur ribs !!!! many of ur ribs!! ur honestly surprised you haven't punctured a lung yet!!!
On that note they BOTH are extremely touch starved. Floyd would fucking LOVE it if someone were to lay down on top of him for hours he would feel so squished!! and warm and nice!! and comfy!
Jade on the other hand, LOVES holding hands. holding ONTO something holding onto someONE.
Jade is a gift giver (love language) I bet you can't guess what Floyd is
His love language is Physical touch. Yeah
Jade getting people way too many gifts when it's a special occasion for them because he thinks they might think it's weird if he gets them a gift on any other day.
Floyd hyperpop liker (just overall really likes loud thrashy music or whatever)
Floyd also really got into those games where you have to beat the shit out of a dummy. He doesn't like ones where you have to TIME a hit to make it work (makes him annoyed bc he can't do it) Games like Pou I think....
While Jade enjoys colour by number or those hue games? just doing it in his free time.
#Please be autistic about them with me#Share your own hcs with me in comments/reblogs and if I like them I might add them#sorry guys I really like spreading the autism illness to all my faves#that's why I keep talking about how tismy they are to me#hope you don't mind#teehee#digital art#art#disney twst#twst fanart#twst hcs#twst#jade leech#floyd leech#leech twins#tweels#hcs#neurodivergent#disney twisted wonderland
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I actually dream of the day u write something bi-han/shang tsung omg...
ohhhh those two... they are so toxic in my mind fr- not that that's going to stop me from writing them, i do enjoy playing around with those relationship dynamics- esp since in my mind there's such a power imbalance between the two of them
the long-short of it is, bi han and shang tsung feed each others egos and bi han is very dependent on shang and his view of him to function well in their alliance- and shang uses that to his advantage at every turn bc all it takes to get bi han to change his mind is to plant a seed of doubt- aruashdfkjs
alternate version of them being a bit sweeter but possibly even hilariously like mk11 aftermath sindel and shao khan- literally "what bones of his shall i break for you, my love?" "mm. surprise me. <333" like that kind of so in love but toxic and cruel to literally everyone around them LMAO-
i am going to yap abt them for a moment bc i do have Some Personal Headcanons about the lin kuei and shirai ryu and shang tsung and how that all plays out post-mk1--
in my mind, kuai and tomas almost immediately separate from the lin kuei and form the shirai ryu in secret, cutting all communication with bi han-
and in my mind, bi han isnt happy about that, he does miss his brothers, even if he never admitted it to himself before that moment- it's also a personal hc of mine that bi han wouldnt have been such a shitty brother if it werent for the relationship he had with his parents- in my mind bi han was forced to spend a lot more of his time with his father and got to see things that kuai and tomas had no idea about-
think azula and zuko- bi han is his father's son, and his father used that to mold bi han into his version of the perfect warrior, and bi han shaped his expectations of himself and his brothers around that image as well
so, when kuai and tomas break off of him and "betray him" in his eyes, he's upset about it.
but he also gets shang out of it, and i feel like there's a golden opportunity there for some ✨One-Sided Codependency✨
shang tsung helps feed bi han's ego and personal security, which bi han needs now that he doesnt have anyone else to do it for him, and shang uses that to direct bi han where he wants him to focus. shang also uses the power he has over their alliance to get bi han to prioritize protecting him versus prioritizing the strength of his clan.
if they arent going to be toxic to each other, i feel like bi han would fall HARD for shang's intelligence and cunning. shang is so smart and he uses it for his own benefit, but bi han sees the practicality of it too and it just makes him crazy-
shang tsung would fall in love with how brutal and efficient bi han is- like bi han is very one-track-minded and shang can appreciate the brutality he approaches problems with.
and the two of them together? shang's mastermind with bi han's determination and brutality? they're a pair to be reckoned with, and it's terrifying- shang builds the groundworks for something evil and bi han gives him the men and the efficiency to get it done nearly overnight-
they both adore each other for their strengths but also see how they compliment each other and it takes a while for either of them to make a move but once they do their affections and relationship becomes so casual that it almost seems like it's always been that way...
god, thinking about them too hard fr... idk how quickly i'll be able to write smth for them but i will be thinking abt them for a while now, LMAO- i am sick so it might be longer than i'm hoping for, but i do have a few ideas in mind now.. arugrughaskdjf mk men ruin me 😔
#ghost answers#mk1 bi han#mk1 shang tsung#do they have a ship name??#if they do i have no idea what it is-#also horrid awful thoughts of genderfluid shang tsung and trans bi han...#someone turn me into an oyster fr /j#bishang#coldsoul
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if those text post about the sa stuff is about cq i am baffled with how blind someone has to be to be that bad at media literacy and racist hello
no like. lmao it's super abt cq and yeah. it's horrible.✌️ i like don't even know where to begin w what an awful take it is. can we be people.
it's just uhh. well. imo not good to take v v lighthearted joke/outta context bits that aren't given narrative weight and then spin them into something they Never Were for some like. idk. leeway? is that what it is? leveling the playing field? i see this talk abt cquackity frm a lot of ppl (v consistently in cdr*blr, just to paint a picture lmao.) but the one that makes me the saddest is frm ppl who rlly like cschlatt and wnna fight back at his unjust bigoted fanon treatment by being unjust and bigoted to. another character? like. ok? 😭
the worst thing is, for the second group, (first group don't matter i'm not wasting my time arguing w ppl like that), is that it's coming from ppl who are like. all things considered completely right abt cschlatt! it's absolutely correct to get upset abt an addict being demonized, having all his actions taken in the worst faith imaginable. having joke bits that don't have narrative weight treated as hard canon when that's not the case at all, just to paint some stupid picture that woobifies and dilutes other characters at his textually supposed to be sympathetic expense. it's ridiculous! that's all true!! cschlatt sweep forever that's my special princess like i agree!!!
so if you can understand that taking bits where he's like slapping cqs ass, or making boy prostitute jokes at cfundy, or batting people around jokingly/w no narrative weight are clearly meant to be at most shitty jests w no added pressure to them, and painting it as smthing else is disingenuous and transparent. why the hell are you taking like this abt cquackity then 😭 why the hell are HIS actions suddenly being scrutinized w the same rightfully critiqued incorrect lense! it's just sowugrrugrbrfnjfk
and on top of that, you cannot divorce the way ppl look at things and the way they filter them. like uhh for example. there's a stream where ckarl just like drugs cquackity. he puts heroin in his shit and it causes him a psychotic break and q chases the guy like an animal abt it for quite a while until he sobers up. ckarl also called him like ugly and stupid and unlikable and at one point hunted him down with an axe across the map bcs he left him at a joke altar. and i have never once in my life seen ppl freak out at ckarl abt it and go ohhh he must be a secret abuser oooh. BECAUSE THAT'S NOT TRUE AND SHOULD NEVER BE A TALKING POINT IN THE FIRST PLACE 😭 OBVIOUSLY!!! it's not supposed to be taken that way in the narrative at all. ckarl is explicitly a good guy, who means well and likes playing pranks on his friends who he loves dearly enough to sacrifice himself for them over and over. there's no awful weight to these actions he's playing his damn touys. when shit is meant to be held to a standard it literally just is held to it the dsmp isn't subtle there's no way around it. and if smone tried to tell you anything different abt it the ridicule they'd deserve would be astronomical.
ctubbo tried to drown ctommy and spent the whole time giggling abt it. that doesn't mean ctubs is some kinda freak abt it because it's treated in the narrative as a bit. ctommy hits and lashes out at cjack a lot. it's never treated or supposed to be taken as ctommy fucking abusing him. 😭 cschlatt and cq make jokes at eachother and it just point blank is never coded in any other way than them doing bits and speaking in freak tongues and having gay ghost sex infront of cq's fucking dad and being light hearted assholes to eachother until we get to the scenes where weight IS being applied. and even then it's not abusive it's human conflict between equals. like fuck's sake.
and idk. like i said, it rlly is interesting that it's applied to those character specifically. and the hypocritical gross ass double standard of it all is suddenly like. so ignorable huh how weird. so you see specifically the addict character who's at most an asshole as some uniquely scary demon evil abuser despite him not being that at all. you see this mentally ill deeply psychotic dude who's at most an asshole and think he's a violent freak who beats his brother even though he clearly isn't. you see this brown character, one of the ONLY ones, and suddenly yr stumbling over yrself abt how he's a violent assaulter and also fantasy racist to white characters despite all the. wow yr rlly cool and normal and not transparent at all hahaha. wow. hah. what a world.
anyways yeah like. i'm not gnna engage w this fuckass topic no more gensrs. it's bad for my blood sugars it's bad for my liver i've said my piece i'm done i'm sick of it. 👍 i'm just gnna start blocking even more ppl and focusing on the good of the fanbase instead. sucks that it's so common and unchecked but whatttt can you do except keep sending ghouls and devils to their addresses. if you have this wack ass "interpretation" do us both a favor and fucking block me. sword slash through the chest and you're on fire.
#tysm fr the ask btw having the opportunity to delve into this and then never having to touch it again is a BLESSING. BEGONE 💥#askatraz#anon#huri.txt#discourse#-> also maintagging bcs. i'm. right.#pumpkinduo#sa tw#ask to tag
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Hi, it's me, I'm back. I'm here to make another request!! This is 2 out of 2 (or 3, I'm still undecided) and this one is for some good old fashioned angst 😻😻
Uh so for this one I was wondering if you could take that silly hospital stay from my hogwarts dr and use it to your advantage.. I can text you actual details abt what happened at the end of the ootp plot line that this falls into ofc bc idk how much of me yapping abt it you remember but it's basically about the whole department if mysteries fiasco.
Uh yeah if you need any extra details that aren't remembered from the aftermath of all that just lmk <3
-Alice 💥💥
hi lovely, it is finally done 💗 this is for alice specifically, but all my fred girlies can enjoy it
summary: alice sacrificed herself to save sirius in the end of the order of the phoenix and is put in a medically induced coma. here is fred’s reaction and inner thoughts during that time she’s in a coma. word count: 1760 words
warnings: this is angsty so mentions of violence, death, medically induced coma, hospitalization, and yeah read w caution i suppose
if u enjoy this please check my pinned post for sending requests!! i can also do deadpool and wolverine and acotar requests
“Where is she?”
Fred’s voice is frantic as he shouts for the closest nurse at St. Mungo’s Hospital. As soon as he heard the news of Alice’s injury and her current condition from Ron, he apparated right away, not wasting any time with Floo powder or anything. He didn’t know exactly what had happened to Alice; he just knew that she had been injured in the battle and that he had to hurry. So, he apparated to the hospital in a rush, leaving Lee and George, who were with him at the time, without another word.
“I’m sorry sir, I don’t know who you’re trying to find?” A nurse tells him, with knitted eyebrows of concern. Fred shakes his head, unable to form the correct words, unable to say Alice’s name like it might be what causes her to die.
A hand rests on Fred’s shoulder. “Alice. Alice Newt. She was brought in here less than an hour ago, she’s injured. Badly.” George’s calm tone as he explains grounds Fred a little bit. It doesn’t save Alice, but it makes Fred feel a little less like he will die. “We’re family.” A little white lie on George’s part, but close enough. They’re her found family after all.
Fred’s eyes wander as the nurse talks to George. His eyes land on a bleary-eyed Capella pacing in the waiting room. “Oh good,” she says, running to Fred once she sees him. “I was trying to figure out how to get in touch with you. She kept asking for you, kept begging me to get you. She was so scared,” Her eyes mist over, biting the inside of her cheek. “Our stupid, stubborn, brave girl.”
“What… what happened?” Fred asks her, afraid to know. Afraid to know what he feels deep down. That something terrible has happened to Alice. It’s like he could feel this tear in his chest like a piece of him is missing. He knows whatever it is, it is bad. But he also knows she’s alive, he can feel that too. Capella purses her lips together, at a loss for words to explain what is happening. She grips his hand, squeezing it.
“She was hit with the killing curse,” Capella explains, the breath catching in Fred’s throat as he listens to her. Hot tears well in his eyes, his anxiety rising. “In the arm. They had to remove it, but she will be okay.” She continues, and a little bit of the tightening grip on Fred’s heart loosens.
He smiles, sighing in relief. “Oh thank Merlin,” He finally lets himself breathe properly. “So can I see her?” He asks, wanting to wrap his arms around her beautiful frame and kiss her all over. He wants to hold her forever, the concept of losing her out of his mind forever. He looks back at Capella and realizes she’s still distraught. He realizes that she wouldn’t have been upset when he first saw her if Alice was okay. Fuck. “She isn’t okay, is she?”
She shakes her head, face grim. “The doctors had to put her in a medically induced coma so her arm can heal. She won’t wake up for a while,” There’s a slight hesitation in her voice, a sob wracking her body. “There’s a chance she won’t wake up ever.” She tells him and suddenly it’s like the world has ended. He can see it, him holding Alice’s hand as she dies, never telling her all the things he hasn’t told her and delivering her euology and watching her body go into the ground. Suddenly it’s like she’s already dead, even though he knows she’s still alive.
“Please take me to her, I need to see her. Hold her hand.” The words feel foreign on his tongue, like he isn’t the one saying them. He doesn’t remember opening his mouth to talk. Capella doesn’t say anything to him, just leads him, and Lee and George trail behind them. George puts his hand on Fred’s shoulder from behind.
The room they’re keeping Alice in is stifling, feels like the air has been sucked out of it. Capella led him to the door but stopped outside of it. “I can’t go in and look at her, I’ll let you three be alone with her. I have some work to do, but I’ll see you out when you’re done.” Done, like he’ll be able to just leave her. Leave her to wake up at any moment without anyone. Yeah, that won’t be happening. It’s clear to him that he can’t leave her once he sees the state of the room she’s in.
It’s completely empty, save for her cot and a tiny night stand. No record player for all the muggle records he buys her, none of her posters or pictures, no dresser for her to put the sweaters she steals from him, no bookshelves for her books, no armchairs for George and Lee to sit on to talk her ear off, nothing. It is so quiet. That’s when his eyes fall on her in the bed, looking so small in the big bed. He approaches her, tears spilling from his eyes.
“Alice…” His voice comes out pleading, like if he says her name, she will wake up and smile her beautiful smile again and she’ll say his name the way she always does, like her pretty lips were made to say his name. Will he ever hear her voice again? He sits at her feet, her hair splayed around her head on the pillow like a halo. Her entire are is gone. She looks so sick. She has always been beautiful, but now she looks wrong. She looks so fragile. He’s never seen his strong, beautiful girl looking so weak.
She doesn’t move at all at his voice. It was foolish of him to think she might. He’s sobbing now, any fear of looking weak gone at the realization that she really and truly might not make it. He sits there, he’s not sure for how long, thinking of the life they lived together. He remembers how she was before, when he had last seen her. He’d kissed her, told her he’d see her later, knowing she might not make it.
He should’ve said more.
He should’ve told her to stay, that they would be fine without her. But that wasn’t true, they needed her and she never would’ve just sat by and done nothing. He should’ve gone with her. He could’ve protected her. “It isn’t your fault that this happened.” George tells him, as if he read his thoughts.
Fred doesn’t look at George, can’t pull his eyes away from Alice’s body. He holds her hand in his. “It is. I could’ve prevented this,” He whispers, voice hoarse from sobbing. “She doesn’t look like herself.”
George chuckles, half-heartedly. “Right? I don’t think I’ve ever seen her without her little grumpy pout. I don’t think she’s ever been this quiet, even when she’s sleepy, she’s still talking.” He says, in an attempt to lighten the mood. Fred hates it. Fred wants him to shut up. Alice should be awake, telling George off. Kissing Fred. Telling him all about the battle. But she’s not.
And there’s a chance she won’t ever be again.
~~~~
Fred spends the whole summer there. They move a chair into Alice’s room and he brings other stuff too. Her record player, for one, and about a dozen records. He brings her a change of clothes every day he comes in, usually one of his sweaters. He reads to her, books he thinks she would like and books he knows are her favorites. He talks to her.
The nurses know him by name, giving him updates or talking to him about the latest Quidditch matches. They don’t talk about the war. Fred tries not to think about the war and it isn’t hard as the only thing he can think about is if Alice will be okay. Some days, Lee and George come with him. Other days, her friends are there too or Ron and Harry and Hermione. But, there isn’t a day that Fred isn’t there. He wants to be there when she wakes up.
Today feels different as soon as he walks into the hospital. The front desk nurses smile and address him by name. He walks the familiar route to Alice’s hospital room, a book tucked to his chest. When he walks in, his heart plummets. There’s a cluster of doctors around Alice’s hospital bed. “…what’s going on?” He asks cautiously.
“Oh, good!! Fred!” Capella smiles when she sees him, the closest one to Alice and the door. “I was wondering when you would be here.” She hands him a coffee, kissing his cheek as a greeting. “It is good to see you, angel.”
“What’s going on right now?” He repeats, squeezing her in a hug gently.
“Oh, I’m sorry. It’s good!! Alice, she’s ready for them to start taking her off the medicine that’s keeping her in the coma. They’re doing it right now!” She is hopeful. Fred knew today was going to be different. He sighs in relief.
So, over the next few days, Alice is under heavy monitoring, people watching to make sure she isn’t going to slip into a nonmedical coma. Fred sits in the corner as they watch over her. Eventually, she starts to blink away, still not fully there but able to open her eyes and blink.
It’s two weeks later when she wakes up fully. “Where… am I?” She asks Fred, who’s the only one in the room. He gasps, throwing his arms around her gently, a muttered “baby, you’re alive” whispered into her hair. He kisses her head. She shoves him away. “What the fuck are you doing?” She pulls out her IV drip in a hurry, shoving him to the floor and standing over him, wearing nothing but his huge sweater and her hospital gown.
“Alice…” Fred whispers, cautiously. She stands over him, ready to throw punches. He stands up. “I’m sorry baby, it’s me. It’s Fred, baby. You’re safe. Please, lay back down.” He tells her, taking a step forward. Her fight is gone and he helps her back into bed.
She sighs into his side. “I’m sorry.” She mumbles, kissing him.
“You scared the shit out of me, love.” He kisses her back. “Never do that again. But you’re okay and I’m okay. I love you more than anything. Now, tell me why you thought that being a fucking hero was a good idea.”
#harry potter#hp ootp#harry potter oc#fred weasley#fred wealsey fic#fred weasely x y/n#fred weasely x oc#salem's collection of fanfiction#basically me being scared of alice dying for 1700 words
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