#over a tweet about a mcdonalds ad

[gayworths]

hey why did you, an American, think it was appropriate for you butt into a conversation about a sapphic ad that isnt even released in your country? I hope you realize that undermining such a bold move in a conservative christian ass country is very hurtful to the Filipino Lgbtqia+ community. Yes we're well aware its rainbow capitalism, we dont need you foreigners dipping your toes in like that and trying to explain it to us like we arent fucking aware corporations will and arent afraid to use us for profit, but this is BIG for our country and our community because getting such a blatant sapphic, /blatantly gay/ ad greenlit is Hard. Anyways! Next time dont butt into conversation that doesnt Involve you americans.

the "conversation" in question was this contextless tweet btw

and i didn't even criticize it, i was using it as a jumping off point to continue a conversation i've had many times on twitter about a certain type of american lesbian who complains every time a movie or show about lesbians contains conflict in any shape or form, and i was saying that they probably love this because it's too short to have real conflict since it's an ad. i certainly don't think filipinos shouldn't be happy that this exists, but you can't tell me that all 94k people who liked that tweet are southeast asians.

i didn't expect anyone to see my tweet except my own followers, but i guess that's on me for tweeting it publicly. ....and on everyone else for reading my tweet without any context and jumping to attack based on their misreading of my words. i only brought up rainbow capitalism when i was provoked. maybe i was too harsh but waking up at 8 am to dozens of tweets telling you to kill yourself does that to a person. i stand by what i said because it's true. and i'm certainly not trying to claim that you guys don't know that, i was just explaining where my own point of view comes from (considering america is currently facing a major anti-lgbt backlash and "visibility" hasn't done shit for us- and now brands are backing off of lgbt support) and trying to start a conversation about the different situations in our different countries.

i did reach out to the original poster because it was never my intention to attack her and i feel bad that my words came off that way and hurt her feelings. but i stand by everything else i said and have no intention to apologize or delete or engage any further with the absolutely vile things people are saying to me. i'm not responsible for your bad-faith misinterpretations of my words.

[venusvity]

₊˚ 🌙 ♡𓂋 ☄️ 。ﾟ✷ ⠀  VENUS ATTENDS WATERBOMB TOKYO 2023!

Known as "The Princesses of Waterbomb" everyone was disappointed when VENUS couldn't attend Waterbomb Seoul this year, breaking their four-year tradition of attending the festive. However, VENUS made up for missing Seoul Waterbomb and attended Waterbomb Tokyo causing a big splash as usual!

.ﾟ۪ ♡ ۫     ( LOOK BOOK ! )    

( LEFT 2 RIGHT ! ) ... AKI, YOONAH, JIAH, CHLOE, AND SENA !

.ﾟ۪ ♡ ۫     SET LIST !

BLOW A KISS

1ST MENT

I AM THE WITCH AT THE STAKE

2ND MENT

ILLUSIONS

3RD MENT

IM THE BEST

4TH MENT

SUMMER LUV!

.ﾟ۪ ♡ ۫     VIRAL MOMENTS !

too many to keep track of, truly.

everyone looked SO good. the girls were literally glowing and completely in their element. it was clear they were having a great time.

the entire festival was screaming the lyrics to IM THE BEST like everyone was so excited they finally performed it again.

they were screaming for every song this is a great festival setlist esp for constellations.

yoonah had multiple clips of her go viral just for how pretty she looked. mainly during blow a kiss and i am the witch, many people praising her for her visuals and performance.

the tweets got interesting to say the least but the consensus was that yoonah is very hot especially while wet.

aki also went viral for her visuals. a clip of her during one of the ments, pushing her hair back and telling the crowd "be as loud as you fucking can. we came to have some fun!" went viral for obvious reasons. she's hot.

a clip of sena and jiah covering "what a life" by exo-sc went viral as well. the girls talked about how excited they were to see the boys perform later. they bleed cosmic latte.

yoonah couldn't figure out how to get her water gun to work so she called for aki to help her. when aki came over, she took the gun from yoonah, fiddled with it for a second, then sprayed her with water. it was a cute and funny moment that also went viral!

chloe had a clip of her throwing ass towards the crowd then running away giggling go viral for obvious reasons. she's now been added to the list of idols that can throw ass. everyone clap for chole!

not viral per say but it was talked about a lot how close chanyeol and yoonah seemed, chloe and sehun were also seen walking around together at the festival. chloe would later go to post a picture of her and sehun to her story captioning it: "i love my BESTIE sehun! and he loves having me as a BESTIE! 😁"

yoonah would post a video of her and chanyeol in his car while in the Mcdonalds drive through with the caption "😚" while both of them sip on their drinks. yoonah looking cute and chanyeol looking like he has no idea what's going on as usual.

the only song they did the full choreography for was summer luv just because they had to. the choreo is the most iconic part! but other than that, they were mainly having fun with the crowd, with each other, and just overall having a good time!

[aro-bird]

Hey, I should've probably made a post about this when the controversy first started but it's better late than never I guess. There's been some discourse on twitter about this, mostly from non-native Filipinos, so I have to say: Stop trying to say that the Filipino sapphic McDonald's commercial was just taking advantage of Filipinos.

Look, I understand that it's so easy to try to go "rAinBoW cAPiTaliSm!!!" on companies when you see them creating content for the queer community especially if the company doesn't really have a good track record. Hypocrisy is absolutely a thing you should point out especially when companies trying to capitalize on the groups they refuse to support. But FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP TRYING TO SPEAK ABOUT SHIT YOU DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT

If you're not aware, the Philippines has an awful homophobic and transphobic culture where, like a lot of Asian countries, they would tolerate you being gay but wouldn't accept you. It's not uncommon for people to get their identities erased by their families, their queerness forced into the closet, and family making suggestions to force you to be cishet. Not only that, but if you were public about being queer, you would either be mocked or harassed with some incidents possibly escalating to violence.

This culture of bigotry has created a push to make laws to prevent discrimination against people based on their sexuality or gender identity in the form of the SOGIE bill. The thing is, this law constantly gets push back from religious groups and even some members of the cishet majority since they don't understand what the law entails and think that the gays just want to hurt the "nuclear family".

You wanna know how bad it's been for the SOGIE bill? An anti-discrimination bill was first officially proposed in 2004 and none has had approval since. In February 2023, there was a news report that even uncovered a large disinformation campaign that was trying to spread lies about the current SOGIE bill so people would be against it passing into law. These were mostly spearheaded by Christian Evangelical groups that had had a stranglehold on queer rights in the country for decades.

There has also been a constant pushback against queer people and loud discrimination against them even on a societal level. Stories like that of Gretchen Custudio Diez who was a transwoman that had been arrested for trying to use the bathroom may have been given a transphobic spin by the larger anti-queer disinformation campaign, but there's still so many people that either mocked and ridiculed her before they heard anything else about the story besides "transwoman gets arrested for using the bathroom." I vividly remember my otherwise pretty supportive mother making jabs at it and even spouting some transphobic rhetoric before I had to correct her, and she's not really the type to be obsessed over Facebook or Twitter.

McDo creating this commercial is controversial and yes, could be considered pandering, but you need to get it into your head that the Philippines has different cultures and social issues from the fucking west. The Philippines may be listed as "one of the most gay friendly countries in the world" but that is such a gross understatement of the truth here. The Philippines is gay-tolerant, not gay-friendly, and anything that tries to normalize any gay relationship outside of queers being used as a punchline or some emotional sideplot gets criticized to hell and back.

The amount of sapphic Filipinos and other queer Filipinos that found joy, comfort, and hope because of this commercial could also not be understated. I've seen so many tweets and posts about how happy and represented they felt even with such a short ad and you shitting on that is just such a dick move, especially if you yourself aren't a Filipino who grew up and/or lives in the Philippines.

As much as I hate capitalism, corporations actually showing public support for the queer community is extremely necessary here since it normalizes queer people. In this day and age where not only do queer Filipinos barely even have rights but the global queerphobic right has definitely been influencing the Filipino internet which may even endanger any bit of progress queer activists had made for the past few decades, corporations being on the side of the community is super fucking important.

If you haven't seen the commercial yet, here's a link to the video. McDo has also made a more subtle mlm commercial before that you can watch here.

[bllsbailey]

Hilarious: Trump May Win All Fifty States With This New Election Statement

Just as Kamala Harris's campaign has been imploding, President Donald Trump's campaign seems to have picked up steam. Not only is he doing well in the polls, but he's been doing events that have blown up the only desperate argument they see to have left — the "Hitler gambit." 

It's pretty hard to argue that someone is Hitler when they're joking with you as they serve up fries at McDonald's. It's hard to argue someone is unstable when they do a three-hour conversation/interview with Joe Rogan and Harris herself doesn't have the courage to do that. As well as people think they know Trump, his appearance on Rogan's show was opening minds all over X, with people realizing that they had been lied to by the media after they saw it. Not only wasn't Trump Hitler or unstable, but he was funny, and he was intelligent. He was the guy he always was, the guy they used to love, before they decided to hate him. He could speak authoritatively on history in a way you could never imagine Harris doing. 

I think letting Trump loose on podcasts, which, according to him, was a move encouraged by his 18-year-old son, Barron Trump, opened him up in a new way to a new audience that is now embracing him. Mix in with his natural humor, and that's a winning combination. 

He showed that humor again on Saturday in a post that understandably went viral when he commented on a concern of many when it comes to McDonald's. And now that he's worked there for 15 minutes longer than Kamala can prove, he knows. 

"When I'm President, the McDonald's ice cream machines will work great again!" he announced. 

Added to the real picture of him at the McDonald's window was a picture of Biden in a Trump hat (which he wore in Shanksville, PA) holding an ice cream, Biden's favorite thing.  

Now we know why Biden is wearing a Trump hat. If Trump manages to pull that off, he just may get Biden's endorsement too.

The tweet naturally went viral and has over 46 million views and still climbing as I write this. Check out the replies. I've grabbed a few, but there are lots of funny ones, including some leftists who are steaming mad about this as well. 

[hainethehero]

Starbucks and Mcdonald's AREN'T the main targets, get your facts straight. Starbucks isn't even in the BDS list and Mcdonald's wasn't even in the list in the first place. It was just added later on as an "organic boycott target" which means BDS didn't start it but they support the boycott. I'm bamboozled with the fact that all this time y'all think Starbucks and Mcdonald's are the main targets which just shows that y'all are spouting whatever and "spreading awareness" about the boycott of these TWO companies and even cancel everyone who consume from these brands so y'all could appear smarter and morally righteous than everyone else but no the fuck you're not. Y'all see everyone focusing on the boycott of these two brands with hella likes, rts or engagements and went along with it without doing proper research and just does whatever everyone does because a lot of yall are gullible like that. Like i promise, it would be MUCH MORE HELPFUL if yall spread more awareness about boycotting companies that ACTUALLY FUND israel like HP, Chevron, Siemens, Puma which are the ACTUAL MAIN TARGETS. The BDS list is categorized for a reason. It's for y'all to focus on these selected targets for maximum impact but i doubt a lot of people even know that these main target companies should be boycotted because y'all couldn't shut up about Starbucks and Mcdonald's. Like y'all are only loud about these two companies because they're more popular hence posting about boycotting them will give you more clout. If you think that these two are the MAIN targets, then you actually don't care about Palestine because you're just going with the flow with what's popular atm. If you really do care, you would seek out for accurate information and not just some viral tweets anywhere. Y'all are pissing me off.

First of all, I said they were the main targets bc they're the ones most popular to boycott rn. The bigger corporations are not as popular to boycott bc the general masses aren't strategized enough to boycott these MASSIVE corps on an effective scale.

And why are you so mad about Starbucks and McDonald's being boycotted? Starbucks reported over 12billion in losses and is trying to rebrand. McDonald's is doing the same rebrand bc the boycotts are working.

When the masses are mobilized enough to boycott huge corps like Chevron, Apple, Proctor and Gamble, Black Rock Co. Etc, then that stage of the BDS boycotts will take off. Idk why you're so mad about what we're trying to do.

And spreading awareness & amplifying Palestinian voices via apps like Tiktok, Ig etc have been KEY to the South African legal team's case against Israel. They said in the hearing that evidence from socmed accounts were being gathered from the pro-Pal as well as the Israeli side (all of who've been literally incriminating themselves online with their behaviour which is a win ig).

You can wither stay pissed & keep fighting down the people who are trying to do something, or you can shut up and actually do something about it.

Have you posted about it? Have you donated? Have you amplified Palestinian voices? Have you boycotted Starbucks and McDonald's? Have you boycotted Chevron? Shell? Apple? Samsung?

I stated a fact when u commented on Simone drinking a beverage that's on the boycott list. I think that's what you're mad about.

Anyway chile, from the river to the sea 🤙✨️

[nutzo0001]

rel.

Some_porcupine said:

rel. (or "geez, i wonder")

People changing when confronted to something new, and wanting to fit in, usually ends up in them leaving (forever or for some time)

( https://forum.agoraroad.com/index.php?threads/diary.3162/ ) (example) I think this can be seen as a classic case of wanting to put everything out into something new. Obviously OP put alot of time into the first few diary entries, with crazy symbols and all, adding the time and date (most...

Old people who don't understand trends tend to ruin them

This isn't meant to be an attack on older people. I'm in my late twenties and I see this a lot from people my age too. In general, trends are often followed by older people who try to understand the trend and in the modern age that leads to YouTube videos about the trend and then waves of people...

Mr. Beast Curing 1000 people of blindness is an example of the system working.

Mr. Beast recently released a new video were he cures 1000 people of blindness. View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJ2ifmkGGus I believe that this is an example of the youtube system working for the better, because it's a good act being rewarded. Everywhere you look on youtube, drama and...

The media people believe in

The defenders of our democracy :ZOOMER: View: https://streamable.com/1elcd9

If there is a widespread famine in the western world, will people post themselves dying of starvation on social media for clout?

It's time to ask ourselves the real questions. Like, will they tweet, post tiktoks, and all? Or will survival instinct take over?

Why is Twitter always trying to scare people?

Basically what the title says. I know it's my own fault for going on there but given such a large percentage of the population uses it, some as their only source of news, it's really telling of the new media strategy. I feel like every mainstream news source has been going full FUD for decades...

Last fucking straw. Now accepting applications f/ the People's Militia. It's time to take matters into our own hands! THE REVOLUTION STARTS NOW!

BREAKING NEWS: There are 5 fewer Doritos per bag now thanks to inflation View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMjjsjNBS_4

Does vaporwave really 'critique' consumer culture or is that just what people say to sound smart?

People always say vaporwave critiques consumerism, but if so, how does it actually do so? Does a ten foot solid gold McDonalds logo critique McDonalds if the creator of said statue says it does?

The Precariat and the Last Exit Before Violence

This post is essentially just to document, and further archive this post I came across. I'm sure it's been mentioned before. I also did some basic editing & formatting to read it in a basic .txt document as well. I've included a download to that text document, as I feel like saving archives/jpgs...

Last edited: Mar 17, 2024

thanks @WhiteSnake for birthing this idea

edit: what this post is about (skipping the foreword from user W-S who ghosted me XD)

Young people (´84 - ´14 and on) giving up on life - Life under L.S.Capitalism - "Where is my Jetpack!" (Cancelled) Futures

thanks @WhiteSnake for birthing this idea edit: what this post is about (skipping the foreword from user W-S who ghosted me XD)...

Do you remember (Now Lost) "Future"?

Parallel thread with https://8chan.moe/404/res/17276.html Example: "internet will topple down *Patriarchy*!" related: https://forum.agoraroad.com/index.php?threads/young-people-%C2%B484-%C2%B414-and-on-giving-up-on-life-life-under-l-s-capitalism-where-is-my-jetpack-cancelled-futures.6412/...

+ "cultural changes you noticed in your lifetime" thread

album:

lost future / post-occupy nonsense world / boring dystopia

DIRECTORY of main points:

Young people (´84 - ´14 and on) giving up on life - Life under L.S.Capitalism - "Where is my Jetpack!" (Cancelled) Futures

thanks @WhiteSnake for birthing this idea edit: what this post is about (skipping the foreword from user W-S who ghosted me XD)...

Young people (´84 - ´14 and on) giving up on life - Life under L.S.Capitalism - "Where is my Jetpack!" (Cancelled) Futures

thanks @WhiteSnake for birthing this idea edit: what this post is about (skipping the foreword from user W-S who ghosted me XD)...

Young people (´84 - ´14 and on) giving up on life - Life under L.S.Capitalism - "Where is my Jetpack!" (Cancelled) Futures

thanks @WhiteSnake for birthing this idea edit: what this post is about (skipping the foreword from user W-S who ghosted me XD)...

Young people (´84 - ´14 and on) giving up on life - Life under L.S.Capitalism - "Where is my Jetpack!" (Cancelled) Futures

Nobody wants to read chat logs except glowies. Anyways I find Zoomers seemingly large lack of protest to be both a good and bad sign. It's a good sign as I found most protests since the 80s to be large virtue signaling parties that rarely change anything, making it mostly a waste of time. On...

Young people (´84 - ´14 and on) giving up on life - Life under L.S.Capitalism - "Where is my Jetpack!" (Cancelled) Futures

Nobody wants to read chat logs except glowies. Anyways I find Zoomers seemingly large lack of protest to be both a good and bad sign. It's a good sign as I found most protests since the 80s to be large virtue signaling parties that rarely change anything, making it mostly a waste of time. On...

Young people (´84 - ´14 and on) giving up on life - Life under L.S.Capitalism - "Where is my Jetpack!" (Cancelled) Futures

glam rock, "teenage rampage", creatives? (to create new future visions) Yeah, those are good- I don't mean at all to undersell or overlook the creative visions that Gen Z already has. Gen Z has a great deal of unique aphorisms, culture, etc. but it isn't understood or catalogued by older...

&

Young people (´84 - ´14 and on) giving up on life - Life under L.S.Capitalism - "Where is my Jetpack!" (Cancelled) Futures

glam rock, "teenage rampage", creatives? (to create new future visions) Yeah, those are good- I don't mean at all to undersell or overlook the creative visions that Gen Z already has. Gen Z has a great deal of unique aphorisms, culture, etc. but it isn't understood or catalogued by older...

&

Young people (´84 - ´14 and on) giving up on life - Life under L.S.Capitalism - "Where is my Jetpack!" (Cancelled) Futures

glam rock, "teenage rampage", creatives? (to create new future visions) Yeah, those are good- I don't mean at all to undersell or overlook the creative visions that Gen Z already has. Gen Z has a great deal of unique aphorisms, culture, etc. but it isn't understood or catalogued by older...

[27goldensun]

KEEP DRIVING & LARRY MOMENTS

black and white film camera

It’s been widely speculated that the following (black and white) picture of Louis was taken by Harry since it seems to fit H’s photography style, depicted in many pictures posted in his own instagram

yellow sunglasses

ashtrays, swimming pool,

hot wax,

Gemma (Harry’s sister) tweeted that Harry had asked her if it would be better to shave or wax his pubes, later she added that Louis must be in a very hairy situation. Both these tweets are currently deleted, but it wasn’t uncommon for her and Harry to tease each other on twitter.

jump off the roof

There are two situations that could be related to this verse:

1. My personal favorite relates to the “What makes you beautiful” Behind the scenes video. Harry has constantly reaffirmed the importance of this song for him, keeping it in his setlist all of his solo career, he said he fell in love to it and many assume he was talking about falling for Louis. In the bts, Louis suggests they jump of a roof in the set but, being his normal overprotective self over Harry, doesn’t let H jump instead helping him down

2. The other happened during One direction's stay in New Zealand in 2012, when Louis and Liam jumped off one of the tallest buildings in the country, Harry didn't jump but waited for them on the landing pad

There's more concern without the engine sounds

We held darkness and we've held clouds

I would ask ''should we just keep driving?''

maple syrup,

coffee,

Harry went through a phase during which he tweeted many quotes that are rumored to be from Louis (such as the pee quote that will be discussed later), one of them is related to coffee

pancakes for two

Louis tweeted from the One Direction twitter account that he and Harry had pancakes and maple syrup for breakfast

hash brown,

During One Direction’s carpool karaoke episode they stopped at a McDonald’s and we later got to know what they each ordered:

Although the hash browns were ordered by Louis, Harry is seen eating them during the video indicating he was ordering for them both (*cue in crying from how domestic this two are*)

egg yolk

Louis is rumored to have thanked harry in an article for “making him egg on toast every morning”, he signed the message as boo (which is one of his nicknames) and addressed harry as “style” (I know, they really aren’t subtle)

Continues on the reblog

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

Anklets and Necklaces

Inspired by this tweet.

@5-secondsofcolor I’m not sorry.

Female Reader insert. NSFW Content (18+). My smut writing is hella rusty. So I do apologize, whoops.

_______________

Calum plays at the anklet, spinning it around and around her joint as her legs are crossed and resting in his lap. The gold jewellry is hardly ever taken off since he gave it to her. In return, she gifted him a chain with a tiny pendant with her initial etched into the back of it. The front of it is an arrowhead. He wears it so often now, that when it’s off, he feels a little incomplete. It’s an easy gesture to carry her everywhere with him.

“Okay we gotta decide what to eat for lunch like now or I’m going to get hangry,” she states.

Calum glances up from his phone, to see her still scrolling on hers. “Oh no. Not hangry,” he teases. But he knows she means it. Her warnings have about a thirty minute window, just enough for a delivery if they get something simple. Or if they want something more complicated, they need to find a snack now while the main course is cooking. “What do you want? Thai? Mexican?”

“Would you hate me if I said I really just wanted nuggets from McDonalds?”

The pout on her lips makes him laugh, “No, I could never. Usual then?”

“Yes, please.”

Stretching across the length of her, Calum pushes his lips together, trying to ask for a kiss. She laughs in return and squeezes his cheeks. “Be lucky you’re cute,” she states before lifting up slightly to meet his lips. “And squishy.”

“Ain’t nothing on me squishy,” he huffs, straightening back up to put her order into the app.

She sets her phone down on her stomach, gazing up over the sharp line of his jaw that his plump cheeks sit atop. And while it’d be easy to return with a poke and a verbal jab about his cheeks, she just watches him. His fingers deftly work over the screen. The white tank sits as a stark contrast to the depth and glow of his skin. “I think all the right things on you are squishy.”

“Yeah, what are those?”

“Your cheeks. And as much as you and your trainer kick your ass, I know happy weight when I see it.”

Calum grins, a chuckle shaking through him as he sets his phone down on the arm of the couch--the order completed on his end. He pinches at her thighs. “Take that back.”

She shakes her head. “No, I don’t think I will. I like it--just like I like my cookies. Hard on the edges gooey in the middle.”

Standing for just a moment to let her legs fall onto the couch, Calum kneels onto the cushion, hovering above her. Her eyes glitter just a little as she talks and the soft easy smile on her face lets him know that it’s all out of love--what’s she’s saying. The pads of his fingers run along the side of her thigh. “Be lucky I love you.”

“I am already lucky, so say what you gotta say. Roast me, my love. It’s not like we don’t do that anyways.”

And truth be told, Calum had no response. Not when he looks at her, because God all he sees is the person that’s been with him on his bad mental days. She’s been there when Calum was sure there was no lower low or higher high. And what do you say to that person that’s been there, seen all of you that there is to see? With a gentle and chaste kiss, Calum settles for silence.

“Cat got your tongue now, huh?”

This--this Calum can respond too. It’s all too easy. “I know what else my tongue can have.”

“I know something your tongue can have too.”

“Really now?” Calum asks, dragging his fingers over the top of her thigh and tracing the line of her lounge shorts. “Food will be here in fifteen minutes though. So that’s up to you.”

“Not nearly enough time to savor it. Besides,” she starts and takes a pause. Her lips pull into a side smile and Calum knows what that means. One brow quirks in anticipation and Calum watches her. The silence settles for a little too long.

“Besides what?” he prompts again.

“Besides, I need the mail to be delivered first.”

“What did you buy?”

“You’ll see later. I promise. It’s really not even supposed to be used for lingerie. But I’ve wanted these for a long time and I specifically have a set I’m trying to complete.”

There’s the black mesh set that she’s slowly been building out. The main piece came in weeks ago, at this point it might even be months ago that that came in. He was privy to it then and gave it the christening that it deserved. But there wasn’t any other lingerie set that needed expansion. Not at least to his recalling. “Which one is it?”

“I’m not saying.”

“Oh please,” he whines, dropping his head into her neck. His lips softly and slowly seal kisses into her warm skin.

“No, Calum. I’ve been waiting on this package for weeks. It got held up in customs and I-” she sighs at his lips sucking at her skin. Not hard enough to cause a bruise, but just enough to make her spine tingle. “You’re going to have to do better than that.”

Calum pushes up, with a huff, sitting back down on the opposite end of the couch. “This is killing me, you know?”

“Well, you ain’t dead yet. So I think you can tough it out for a little bit longer.”

“Begrudgingly--I want you to know that.”

She sits up, swinging her feet to the floor. “Your sacrifice will be duly noted. The mail will be here before you know it.” The couch releases her weight and Calum watches her pad into the kitchen. “Do you want anything?” she calls.

“I’m good,” he returns, knowing that he will be counting down the seconds until the mail comes. She returns with a glass of water, sitting back down on the couch, but bringing her feet up underneath her as she motions to the TV. “You watching that?”

Calum answers with a shrug. He wasn’t anymore. He originally turned it on mostly for the weather and some news. He found himself bored and flipping through channels before settling on the sports channel while he took care of Duke in the morning. Noise to fill the space since his brain needed the distraction. He hadn’t slept all that great the last few nights, decent sleep. The closer and closer the band got to putting out music the more his nerves kicked in--sometimes they were sneaky. The nerves come up faster than Calum had anticipated. And right now, they won the first round. But Calum was working hard to combat them so he could get about his daily life.

“Go crazy,” he finally verbally responds. And she picks up the remote, changing channels too fast for Calum to even understand how you could process what was on before decking it was a no. She eventually settles for HGTV--not quite caring what show was on. 

The first knock that comes to the door is the food that Calum ordered for the two of them. He answers it, popping up in the hopes it’s the mail. When it’s not, he sighs just a little but places the bag down onto the coffee table. “Your nugs, my queen,” he teases.

“Thank you, my good sir,” she returns with a grin, opening before divvying out what is for who. “You wouldn’t have happened to shot up like a bat outta hell because you wanted that to be the mail?”

Calum feels the heat in his cheeks, but bumps her shoulder gently. “No, why would I ever want that?”

“Oh I don’t know,” she scoffs in return, dunking a nugget into the sweet and sour sauce. They share a soft bout of laughter before turning their gaze back to the TV. Duke’s paws click as he ventures into the kitchen for a drink of water from his bowl. The lapping and splash of his tongue echoing just slightly as the screen goes dark between the show and the commercial break.

Calum lifts his gaze, taking in the soft angle of her jaw. She curls up around the carton of fries, eyes glued to the screen. Does she even have the slightest clue what she does to him? It’s not even the involved things like dressing up for him, or comforting him. It’s just her, when she’s munching on fries. Or when she sleepily walks behind Duke in the mornings. It’s when she hums as she cooks. It’s the dancing she does when she’s cleaning. It’s the pouts when she messes up on something and her brow furrows in as the determination settles onto her face.

It’s when she fucked up a birthday cake for him once--not greasing the sides of the pan enough and then adding a tad too much milk--called him crying about it and then in a minute flat resolved to make him brownies instead. Because she said she’d be damned if she didn’t make him something sweet to nibble on or pass along to the guys. And Calum’s not even that much of a sweets guy, which she knew, so she only settled on giving him half the batch she made. She, of course, saved the other half for her and her friends.

And it’s just the moments that she’s not even trying that makes Calum melt. Like when she paints her nails, she offers to do his first. Or when she lays down next to Duke, and in their shared silence, they seem to communicate everything with each other.

“I love you,” he states.

She turns, eyes widening for a second before grinning around her sip of iced tea. “I love you.” Her brows furrow just a little. “You okay? You’ve hardly touched your food.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.”

“If you didn’t want McDonalds, I could’ve done something else. Literally anything else,” she continues on almost as if she hadn’t heard him.

“It’s not the food,” he giggles. Calum reaches out to caress her cheek. “I’m okay.”

She nods. “Okay.”

“I just love you, that’s all. Wanted to share it with you.”

Her grin is soft as it lifts her lips. “Good because you’re not getting rid of me that easy.”

“I wouldn’t dare dream of getting rid of you.”

Another silence envelopes them. Calum finishes his food and takes the empty containers to the trash. Another episode starts up from the speakers and just above it, he hears the chime of his phone. “Do you want me to screen it for you?”

“Yes please!” If it’s one of the guys, they won’t mind her answering. If it’s someone important, he doesn’t want to miss the call.

“Calum’s phone,” she answers but he can already hear her feet shuffling to him in the kitchen. “Okay, Ash. I’ll keep that in mind.” Her voice comes closer and Calum shakes his hands just a little to get rid of the excess water before drying them. “No, I can’t say what it is without taking a look. Did you use the soil I recommended last time?” Another pause comes from her and when Calum turns, he finds her leaning up the kitchen counter, phone halfway pulled down but not fully away from her ear. “Yeah, I definitely think you should consider changing soils. But I can take a better look tomorrow for you. I’m going to pass along the phone now.”

She hands the phone over. “He said it was important.”

“Thank you,” Calum says in a whisper, pressing a kiss to her forehead and then placing the phone to his ear. “Yeah, Ash?”

Calum’s not even sure how long the conversation goes on. At first, it is important information that Ashton’s trying to confirm--a date and time for a meeting that they had later in the week. He says he wrote it down where he writes down all their meetings but it’s not there. And Ashton’s trying to make sure that he doesn’t miss it. So Calum shuffles to his office and verifies in his calendar the time for the meeting.

But then the conversation diverges--they start talking about everything and anything. So much so, they’re laughing. Calum doesn’t even hear the knock at the front door. But he does notice her scurrying off into the bedroom. The door closes with a soft click. Duke comes trailing after her but notices the closer door and then keeps down the hall to the office. Calum reclines back in his seat trying to get another angle at the door. But it’s closed fully.

“You okay, gramps?” Calum asks Duke.

“Oh fuck off, mate!” Ashton laughs.

“Not you, you fucking egg. Duke--I was talking to Duke.”

“Oh!” Ashton giggles. “Sorry, I thought you was trying to talk shit.”

“I don’t have to try and do that to you.”

“Oi, don’t start something bro.” The two of them laugh and Calum bends down to scratch behind Duke’s ears. “Alright, thanks for confirming that meeting. I’ll see you tomorrow in the studio?”

“Yeah--bright and early. Talk to you later.” The call ends and when Calum spins around in his desk chair, his jaw drops as she steps out from the bedroom. It’s not exactly something new--as in something that she’s never worn before. But it doesn’t mean he ever gets tired of seeing her like this.

The white bustier pushes her breasts up and almost over the cups. And he travels the look down, taking in the baby blue skirt, fishnet knee highs. And he goes back up, taking in a black strap wrapping around her thighs. She notes the lustful gaze and steps right on the line of the threshold to the door.

“So,” Calum starts, trailing his gaze down and then back up to her face. “Not the black lingerie I was anticipating.”

“No, I’m waiting for the heels I want for that lingerie to go on sale. Besides, you didn’t like the collar I liked so I’m still searching.”

“It wasn’t that I didn’t like it. It’s just too similar to one we already bought.”

“You’re right, but still.”

Calum cracks a smile at the reluctant confession. “But enough about that. This--this is a cute outfit.”

She nods, smoothing out the pleated mini skirt. “It’s less about the outfit and more about these,” she says, tapping at the thin black band.

“And those are?” Calum asks. It’s one step closer into the room and Calum think he can make out a heart shaped metal loop in the middle of it. She takes a second step closer and Calum can see clearly it’s some sort of thigh garter--leather or something related as the material. “Oh,” he breathes.

She continues slowly to approach Calum and when she’s just in arms reach, she lifts the skirt up. It goes up inch by inch and Calum’s entranced. Watching more of her thighs revealed to him. And soon it’s black panties--mesh and if Calum remembers correctly crotchless. But wrapped around her waist is another band of leather. Two pieces hook to another metal hoop right on her hip bones and then one trip connects the top piece to the bottom.

“A harness garter belt--what do you think?” she asks in a whisper.

Calum exhales, desire stirring in the pit of his stomach. He reaches out, wrapping his fingers around her thighs and pulling her into him. He kisses in the spaces between the leather, gingerly, lips hardly touching her skin. “I think you look beautiful,” he hums, dropping his head on his neck to look up at her.

Her eyes are still closed and Calum softly runs the tips of his fingers up her thigh, tracing the lines of the harness. With a deep exhale, she finally blinks back to reality. “Not too silly?”

His brows meet in the middle of his face. Why would she think it’s too silly? There’s nothing silly about her standing in front of him, clearly excited about her own purchase. “Angel--I’ll be damned if I ever think this is silly.”

Swinging her leg over and settling onto his lap, she grins. “Thank you, love.”

Calum holds onto her hips, rubbing his palms down to her ass. “So you said this technically isn’t lingerie?”

“No--I don’t think so. But I think they could be--a small accessory to something I already have.”

They share a kiss, much too quick for Calum’s liking so he pulls her back in for more. And her arms wind around his neck as he continues to palm her ass. Here, he doesn’t really care what it is technically or not. She looks absolutely amazing. “I like it. In fact,” Calum starts, moving to grip her thighs before housing them both up and then plopping her down on the desk. “I really like them.”

Calum stands between her legs, nose brushing and bumping against hers. Here, she can feel her core aching as Calum’s fingers trail closer and closer to her heat. It’s feather light--his touch, but it makes her feel electric all the same. “Cal,” she hums.

“Yes baby?”

There’s nothing that comes out of her mouth but a small huff, a rushed and harsh exhale at the feeling of his fingers dancing across her skin. He grins pulling back just a little to see the way her face goes slack, almost as if she’s at peace with him between her legs.

“Was there something you wanted to say, darlin’?” Calum tries again, taking just a half step back away from her.

With her eyes still closed, she smiles. “I want to know,” she starts, exhaling softly to counter the thud of her heart in her chest, “if you’d so kindly want to make love to me?”

Calum can’t help his own small tuft of laughter. “Darlin’, I’d do so happily.” They don’t always wind up in bed like this--but it’s nice, to be comfortable even to be this forward with this and this open.

Calum takes her hand as she hops down from the desk. “Give me a twirl,” he asks. She obliges, turning in a circle for Calum, punctuating the back view by lifting her skirt up. “Silly girl,” Calum laughs, giving a firm but playful tap to her ass.

Facing Calum again, she wraps her arms around his torso. “But you love it.”

“I do. I love you.”

They share another kiss and she slowly walks backwards out of the room. They get lost in each other--Calum in the way she fits against him and her in the way Calum holds her, palms spanning across her back and tight enough that she wonders if he thinks she’s going to disappear but gently enough at the same time that she’d love nothing more than staying here forever in his hold.

Calum finds the zipper to the top and slowly drags it down. The material exhales, slowly falling away from her body and when it falls to the floor, he kisses her neck, down to the swell of her breast. Her moans are soft, just above a hum that makes just enough noise for him to hear. And it goes right to his gut.

Here there's very little need for words. When Calum gives, she takes happily. But when she tugs at his hair, Calum knows to step back, lets her give something to him. Her kisses are soft against his skin, but make him feel like it’s being set on fire. One that he’d happily stay in, let the blaze consume every inch of him, if it meant that she was always the one to take him.

His shirt goes to join hers. Her mouth teases his nipples as she descends further down on him. Calum thinks he sighs, all he can do is just shut his eyes and let go into the feeling of her teasing the cut of his hips beneath the sweatpants. She’s always like this, teasing him. At first, it used to annoy him. But now he loves it, loves just how close she’s willing to push him to the edge, push his buttons but always delivering at the end of it.

Her meticulous work, to watch him jump at every scratch of her nails and nip of her teeth, is enjoyable. But Calum blinks open his eyes to cup her jaw, which stops her. When her gaze lifts, Calum motions for her to stand. “Yes?” she grins standing to her full height.

Calum presses their foreheads together. “I missed you.”

“Well how dare I keep a man like you waiting?” With a slow kiss, tongues just barely dancing, Calum walks the two of them to the bed. The back of her knees hit the edge of it and she buckles just a little. Calum catches her from falling. “Turn around,” he whispers into her ear, “please.”

The instruction is obeyed and she spins to face the bed. Calum finds the zipper to the powder blue skirt and almost doesn’t want to take it off her. In the end, he does-- Calum lets the skirt fall onto a pool at their feet. Without even prompting she falls to her hands, ass grinding against his hips. He traces her spine with the pads of his fingers, following all the way down, over the curve of her ass and down to the opening in the panties. His fingers gather a bit of her arousal.

“Oh,” he groans. “So wet for me,” he hums with approval.

“Always for you,” she sighs. Calum teases her clit--a featherlight touch as he dances over her core. She lets herself fall a little bit more into the mattress--another moan leaving her lips when Calum takes one finger down from her clit to teasing her entrance.

Calum pulls away, bring his wet fingers to his lips and sucking them clean. “Taste just like heaven,” he hums. He gingerly guides her back to standing and uses her hips to get her to face him again.

More kisses are shared before they fall onto the mattress. Calum takes hold of one of the straps around her thigh and tugs her down, closer to him and she laughs. It gets caught off and morphed into a moan as Calum’s tongue licks a wide stripe up her. He’s careful of the mesh material of her panties, but knows that carefulness won’t last long. Not when her arousal coats his tongue. Not when her nails scratch over the muscles of his shoulders or tangle into the curls on his head.

She melts under the work of his mouth. The mattress merely becoming the vessel to hold the mess she’s bound to make and become. The room echoes the moans and slurps. Fingers gripping at the sheet, she chants Calum’s name. His tongue working magic over her core and just when she thinks she couldn’t possibly handle anything more, she notices the stretch at the addition of his fingers.

“Fuck,” she whines, lifiting one leg and he slips in even deeper, curling his fingers and hitting just the right spot.

Calum hungers for her pleasure--the high-pitched whine and groan as she releases. Some days it’s just the sound he needs to ground him. She gives short and breathless huffs, and quivers underneath him. “Gonna be a good girl?” Calum asks, fingers still pumping at her.

“Yes, oh yes, I will.”

“Gonna cum for me?”

“I want to, yes I’ll come for you. Make me your good girl.” Her voice sounds far away, as if she’s not fully cognizant of what she’s saying. Not quite babbling, but definitely talking so fast words bump into each other and slur together.

Calum grins, sucking at her clit again and she groans, head throwing back against the pillows. Her toes are curling--her whole body growing warmer with the passing second. The heat coils in her lower gut and she’s pleading. Though, she’s not sure who she is really meaning to plead to, but she wants to cum so badly.

Then it finally happens, one moment she’s sure she’s nearly in tears and the next, the coil snaps. She squeezes, hips raising off the bed and Calum continues to ride out her orgasm, gently pressing her back down into the bed. She hisses and starts to push at his shoulders, the signal that it’s too much. So Calum places one last kiss to her clit before pulling away from her glistening core.

Beneath him, eyes fluttering close, she looks angelic. Calum holds himself up above her and just watches the way she tries to collect her breath. “You’re beautiful, you know?” he whispers, not wanting to shatter the silence.

“No kidding?” she teases, winding her arms around his neck. The necklace dangles just a little in her face and she takes one hand to trace the chain. Hooking her fingers into it, she tugs Calum down to her. The taste of her arousal on Calum’s tongue makes her head spin. Calum caresses her side and stomach as the kiss deepens. Here is all they need--the soft and deep kisses, the moans that they swallow from each other.

Her hands leave from around his neck and begin to push down his sweatpants and underwear. And he lets her, even pulls back to kneel on his knees as she sits up. Their kiss hardly breaks and she’s quick to tug the cotton material down, hands wrapping around his length.

He groans at the squeeze--nothing too hard just enough pressure to make his whole body ignite. Her hand pumps him, once, then twice slowly and teasing him. “Baby,” he sighs, relishing the feeling of her hands working over him. The stay like that only for a minute or two before Calum pauses her to step down and full disrobe.

When he climbs back onto the bed, he crawls over her. “Welcome back, handsome,” she greets.

“Oh, it’s so good to be back,” he returns, grinning.

She runs her fingers over the tattoos decorating his chest, out of habit, out of something to ground her for a moment. There’s no way he’s real and it shouldn’t ever shock her like this. But sometimes it sneaks up on her and the realization of how madly in love she is with his man hits her all over again.

“What are you thinking about?” Calum asks.

“How much I love you,” she answers softly.

“I love you too,” he returns, bending down to kiss her. It’s soft and sweet--the kiss. For a moment, they just inhale the breaths of the other. It’s a tender moment, one that neither one wants to interrupt, so they let it linger, smiling at each other. She stretches up to kiss him, one hand trailing between their bodies and Calum catches the hint all too quickly when she traces along his length.

“I haven’t forgotten, love,” he exhales in a breathy laugh. “Trust me, I could never forget.” Once lined up, Calum’s slow to sink into her. One, he wants to drag this out, enjoy every inch of him that she grips of him. And two, because he wants to make sure that even in the lull that she’s ready to take him.

Her head falls back, hair pushing into the pillow and neck exposing itself to him. A tempting sight but Calum loses himself in the feeling of her wetness. He’s slow, pulling out just a bit before sinking further back into her. Her sighs and words of encouragement are soft from beneath him but they fuel him.

The pace quickens and both of them groan at the ecstasy. Out of reflex, she lifts one leg to readjust her hip flexor and Calum brings it up, resting her ankle on his shoulder. He kisses over the joint and the anklet, savoring just how much of her he can feel like this.

The chain dangles in her face, brushing in the valley of her breast and she revels in the feeling of Calum reaching the full depths of her body. She digs her nails into his flesh, more curses falling from her lip. But some of them get lost in the groans that win out. “God,” she huffs. “You’re everywhere.” And though it’s a bit of strain to get the words out because Calum’s pace is relentless as he snaps his hips into hers, she pushes the words out.

“You always take me so well,” he praises, watching the way her face contorts. “Oh, so soon, love? You’re going to cum again for me so fucking soon, like a good girl.”

Her whine slips out first but she nods, feeling the coil tightening yet again in her lower abdomen. Her body is hot, and she can already feel the prickle of sweat on her forehead. “Please, baby, please,” she begs.

“As you wish,” he hums, his own orgasm approaching faster than he anticipated. His body humming as the warmth spreads. The bed rocks just a little, hitting the wall and the sounds echo around them as they sigh and moan to each other. But the only thing that really matters to them, is each other.

“Fuck, baby,” he whispers, voice straining as she orgasms. No noise comes from her, but her mouth opens like if she had the breath she’d definitely be screaming his name. This time the quakes last longer, her whole body shaking. “You’re okay, you’re okay,” he hums, bumping his nose against her jaw, still riding through her orgasm.

“Shit, oh my god,” she shudders, wrapping her arms around his neck.

There’s a slight hiss when Calum moves again, and he kisses over her face, starting with her nose and then moving to her cheeks. Another quake takes her and Calum, not anticipating it, groans-- his orgasm now right on the edge. It won’t be much longer, but she nibbles at his earlobe. “Thank you,” she whispers. “Made me feel so fucking good. I want you to cum in me. So fucking deep,” she hums.

And while Calum’s trying to get his own rebuttal to the tip of his tongue, she squeezes around him. “Fuck,” he yelps just a little, his body erupting with his orgasm. His body shudders and he’s so blindsided by the feeling, his slips just a little, more of his weight settling onto her than usual.

She doesn’t say anything, just hums at the feeling of him succumbing to the pleasure. “Oh, that’s what I wanted,” she encourages. It leaves her throat like a purr and Calum shivers again at the sound.

They lay together, for a moment, her nails scratching lightly at the muscles in his back. Calum sinks into her, body going heavy. Her slight shift squeezes around him and he groans, sensitive. “Don’t--I can’t,” he laughs.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to.” Even her own voice sounds heavy and slurred. She kisses his temple and Calum pushes up. He’s slow to pull out, enjoying the drips that follow of his own release spilling out of her. With one finger he gently scopes it back up and into her. The familiar twinge of desire pulls at his lower gut and it’s almost enough. She even shivers, but Calum watches the way her eyes stay closed.

“You okay?” he asks.

“Sleepy now,” she returns.

“Let’s get cleaned up first and then we can nap.” His voice sounds farther away towards the end of the sentence and she assumes he went to the attached bathroom. The rush of water from the sink confirms it. Something wet and warm presses against her--no doubt Calum with a warm washcloth.

The clean up is swift as both of them share a shower and then under the sheets, they curl up around each other. Calum kisses the top of her head as she nuzzles in closely. “I want pancakes after our nap,” she mutters.

“I think we still have some blueberries.”

She pops up onto her elbow and grins a little. “It’s like you can read my mind.”

Calum laughs. “Maybe just a little bit.”

[1ddotdhq]

🥤 Thurs Sept 10 🎸

Louis’ milkshakes bring ALLLL the boys to the yard, apparently! Almost five years ago, the boys went on James Corden’s carpool karaoke segment, stopped by a McDonalds, and ordered some food. That footage has never been seen before, despite years of fan requests. It STILL has never been seen in its entirety, but we’ll get to that.

Yesterday, Ben Winston went on twitter to engage with three year old tweets, hinting that he might release the footage. Then, because it wasn’t odd enough, the Late Late Show With James Corden got involved, and seemed to confirm that something WOULD be happening on the show. So fans stayed up to watch, and wait. Then, once the show started, James (wearing a honeybee pin on his tie) shot down the idea of kidnapping the boys to put the band back together (“they’re a boy band, not Humpty Dumpty!”), but played a highly edited segment of public and previously unseen footage of the band on the Late Late Show.

The unseen footage included a ten second reel of what must’ve been 15 minutes or so at a drive through. Niall got a Big Mac, Liam got chicken nuggets, Harry got an iced tea, and Louis got an Egg McMuffin with sausage, two hash browns, and the infamous milkshake. Why is this milkshake so notorious? Well, because a clever McDonalds worker took a picture of the band as they rolled through the McDonalds, and Harry could be seen sipping on the milkshake.

In this new footage, Louis ordered the milkshake, took a sip, and handed it back to the McDonald’s employee (“I don’t want this, actually, darling, could you take it back?”). Harry can be seen drinking his tea with a displeased expression, and munching on a hash brown. Wait, what? Didn’t Harry only order the ice tea, you’re asking. And you’re right! Louis, apparently, ordered two hashbrowns and happily handed one over to his mortal enemy! Wow, clearly they can’t stand each other, I don’t know what to tell you *shrug*.

It is very important for me to note that although this is clearly the sequence of events that took place, due to the other pictures that we have and the footage that they themselves released, they did not SHOW any of this. It was, again, a highly edited clip with tons of jump cuts for a really mundane action. Why did Ben Winston feel the need to cut out all interaction between these to ~super straight hetero bros~ band mates? Well, I guess make your own conclusions.

And speaking of odd occurrences and forming conclusions, let’s talk about signed bright red guitars! About a month ago, Harry signed a guitar and donated it to MusiCares COVID relief auction. It was expected to sell for anywhere from $3000 - $5000. It sold for $28000. Well, $28,125 to be precise. It was an anonymous auction, and there were six other bids on the guitar. The money has all gone to the relief fund, and the guitar has gone (or is on its way) to its new home. In completely unrelated news, I’m certainly going to be eyeing Louis’ guitar collection from here on out.

Meanwhile, Liam released his “cosmic” Midnight music video, which is a highly stylized, socially distanced performance of the song over a green screen, which was turned into the collections of stars and planets and supernovae dancing around Liam and Alesso. I have to say that regardless of my feelings on the video, Liam’s voice always leaves me speechless, and that song has been playing on loop since I watched the video. Can’t wait to see what’s next from him!

And in other music news, Zayn (or his team) added the radio edit of Dusk ‘Til Dawn ft. Sia to Icarus Falls on Spotify! They had previously added a longer version of the song, which had been streamed less, so the new addition of the Radio Edit brought Icarus Fall’s total streams to over 2 billion! WILD!! This does seem to be a lead up to something, as Zayn took to Instagram to post a Polaroid of his back tat, captioned “Got some stuff to show ya soon!”. I. LITERALLY. CANNOT. WAIT.

[darkarfs]

single moments from the Trump presidency that would have defined/ended any other politician’s career

- saying he could “buy Greenland” - suggesting it was a good idea to nuke hurricanes - saying there would be fewer forest fires if we just got rid of all the leaves - asking Trudeau if Canada had tried to burn down the White House - autographing pictures of shooting victims - when he kept talking about how they drop bowling balls on cars to test them in japan and no one could figure out where he could have even gotten the idea - when he suggested Seoul should just move away from the North Korean border - introducing West Virginia’s governor as ‘the largest, most beautiful man’ - when he tweeted SEE YOU IN COURT! right after an appeals court ruled against him. like. yeah man. they just did. - the time he didn't know how to close an umbrella so he just dropped it and walked away - fighting with the Vietnam vets over whether napalm or agent orange is used in the Ride of the Valkyries scene in Apocalypse Now and then when they insisted it was napalm, Trump said they disagreed with him because they didn't like the movie (The line is famously, literally “I love the smell of napalm in the morning.”) - using his position as the single most powerful person in the world to promote Goya canned beans - when he bragged about the crowd size at the hurricane shelter in coastal Texas (”what a turnout”) - signing Bibles. What. - thinking the F-22 is invisible to the naked eye - smiling and giving a thumbs up during a photo op with a baby orphaned by a mass shooting - putting a candy bar on a Minion’s head because he’s never interacted with a child before -  when he interpreted some stray comment about transparency in the process to mean his border wall should literally be transparent, so passersby are not beaned by bundles of drugs and cans being thrown over the wall - the time he talked about having to flush his massive dumps 10 times and then immediately tried to blame the dumps on his supporters - the fake Sharpee’d hurricane map, which he did solely to not appear wrong on television - suggesting that federal employees working unpaid during the gov shutdown should just “do a work around” at the grocery store if they can’t pay for groceries - the fucking eclipse thing - the fucking three-pointers with paper towels to Puerto Rican hurricane victims - when he told thousands of Boy Scouts a story about his rich friend's fuckboat and then complained about Hilary for the remainder of the speech - when the called the CEO of Lockheed Martin “Marilyn Lockheed” (her last name is Hewson) which was objectively funnier than “Tim Apple” - when he picked an argument with Baltic world leaders because he thought the Baltics were the Balkans - the first time his team had a meeting in the cabinet room they couldn’t figure out how to turn on the lights and ended up just having the meeting in the dark -  The time he said Andrew Jackson was "really angry that he saw what was happening with regard to the Civil War, he said 'There's no reason for this.'" (Jackson died 16 years before the Civil War, and he owned 150 slaves.) - told a 7-year-old boy there was no Santa Claus on Christmas - the team of staffers whose only job was to tape back together documents he had torn up because he’s just THAT used to destroying evidence, because they couldn’t get him to stop ripping them up, but legally, the documents had to be archived - when he said the Continental Army took over the British airports during the Revolution - no sanctions on Russian soldiers killing American soldiers - “I take no responsibility for this pandemic.” - when touring the damage the Louisiana gulf coast after Hurricane Laura (just a few months ago!), he started giving first responders autographed pieces of paper, which he told them to sell on eBay for $10,000 - when he thought "clean coal" meant that the miners dug it out of the ground and physically cleaned it - the goddamn fast food catering - trying to trick the family of a teen killed by a US diplomat's wife who fled justice into meeting her, Ellen-style - pushing the Prime Minister of Montenegro out of the way to preen - that time he called into Fox & Friends and ranted for so long that they politely but firmly kicked him off - hiring an Obama impersonator solely to berate him - having a button installed on his desk that let him order Diet Coke on a whim. And sometimes using that button upwards of 13 times a day. - that time when a kid handed him a hat to sign, and he signed the hat, but instead of handing it back, he just threw it into the middle of the crowd - autographing the guestbook at the Holocaust memorial, with an added “had such a great time!” - when he zoned out and wondered where a woman's dead relatives were DIRECTLY after she had said her mother six brothers were killed. (Actual exchange: “They killed my mother, my six brothers...” “Where are they now?”) - sending 2,000 soldiers to the border to stop “the caravan,” having their pictures taken, and then recalling them all. - consoling a dead soldier’s family by saying “he knew what he was getting into.” - when he said no one could climb over the border wall because there would be no way down, and then belatedly remembered rope - when he congratulated the Great Lakes on their "record deepness" - calling Elizabeth Warren “Pocahontas” at an event meant to honor Navajo code talkers  - “Shithole countries” - calling Baltimore “rat-infested” - tweeting “too bad!” right after Elijah Cummings’ house was broken into - calling the White House “a dump” a month into moving in, which led to first both him and Melania, and then just Melania by herself, staying in Trump Tower for almost 5 months, costing taxpayers around $100,000 a day - an entire quarter of his presidency spent on his own golf courses, costing taxpayers around $141,000,000, NOT counting the Secret Service detail (they were charged for rooms and golf carts, since these were Trump’s OWN golf courses) - using “Pocahontas” again to slur Elizabeth Warren while talking down to a Native American journalist - holding a rally in Pittsburgh and trying to woo the locals by ranting about how the statue of Joe Paterno, the accused pedophilia enabler who was coach of a rival sports team, should go back up - confusingly having bigger salt and pepper shakers than everyone else in his administration, because everything to him is a dick-measuring contest - when he said he would “run in and take care of” school shooters, to school shooting victims - appointing fucking DeVos, Miller, Pompeo, Mnuchin, Nunes - inciting a seditious white supremacist mob to make sure he’s president until he’s 85, resulting in 5 dead (for which I am constantly wondering...”really? FOR THIS GUY?”) - drafted a proposal to open 94% of previously protected American shorelines to offshore drilling - when he walked up the stairs to Air Force One with toilet paper stuck to his shoe -  at least 44 times in March, April and early May in which he downplayed the threat of the virus calling it “very well under control” again and again - when somebody asked him his favorite book and he pointed at a bookshelf and said “there are some over there” - meeting with the goddamn MyPillow guy to discuss overturning election results and declaring martial law - impeached twice, was golfing both times the vote went through - 70 pardons for known criminals (including Bannon), 70 sentences commuted, just to be a spiteful little toad - when he blathered on about how much he loved the queen, the totally hacked her off - when Hope Hicks steamed his pants as he was wearing them - getting mad-pissed at White House kitchen staff because they couldn’t recreate McDonald’s and it was too late to order  and I wonder how much I missed. I bet there’s a McSweeney’s article listing all of it.

[purplesurveys]

1033

survey by tickticktmr

What's the best food to have at a sleepover? I’d have a blast at a sleepover if my friends and I were to get a square-cut cheese pizza with a box of wings. Cheesy nachos with beef would be great too.

How did you meet the last person you shared a bed with? We were introduced by our respective friends.

Do you like the yellow cheetos better or the orange ones? I don’t like Cheetos, period. Cheese puffs never did grow on me.

Where did you buy the shoes you wore today? My mom got it for me two Christmases ago.

Do you have any half siblings? Nope. But this year I found out I have a half-cousin (and possibly half-cousins) from a trash uncle who apparently fooled around behind my aunt’s back, but I have no desire to associate with her or that entire family altogether. 

How many DVD players are in the house? We still have two lying around but we haven’t used either in 6–7 years.

Do you like the last song you heard on the radio? I cried, because I needed to hear the lyrics that were being sung.

Do you know anyone who has been on TV? Sure, mostly some of my friends’ parents.

When going shopping for junk food, what's the first thing you pick up? My eyes usually dart to the Pringles before anything else. And if there’s also any salted egg chips that looks appealing enough for me to pick up.

How would you react if you found out you had a long lost sister? I think my literal first reaction would be to be pissed at my parents for hiding such a secret from me for a long time. It would depend on how they explain the situation if I end up wanting to meet her or if I can do without.

At sleepovers, do you usually stay up all night or actually go to sleep? Hahaha I’m the grandma that passes out. I’ve never successfully stayed up at a sleepover and for some reason I’m always the first one to start getting sleepy. I guess all my friends’ bedrooms are really that comfy.

Is there anything in the room you're in that's really dusty? [continued from last night] For sure. There are some things in my room I barely use or move around so it definitely wouldn’t be a surprised if they’ve since gathered up a fine layer of dust.

Do you know anybody with different colored eyes? Yeah, someone from my high school has this condition.

Are any of your relatives vets? [continued AGAIN from the night before last, lmao send help] As far as I know, no. We’re not really the type of family that produces doctors, and I believe we lean more towards law.

Who cleans the most in your house? Oh my mom, for sure. She wants all chores done a certain way, and she’s always genuinely happy to do everything herself.

Do you own any shirts that cost over $100? No. I think my most expensive shirts are my wrestling ones, which never went above P3000, I think.

What about any shoes? Do you think that's a lot of money for clothes? Yeah, well shoes are generally more expensive so I’ve definitely spent more on sneakers than I’ve ever had on a shirt. I think a pair of shoes that go for P5000 is fine because for the most part it’s also already a testament to its quality. I draw the line at P5000 shirts, because you’re only paying for the label at that point.

What's the movie theatre in your town called? Ours don’t have names. Most of our cinemas are housed within malls, so whenever we make plans to watch a movie we just mention the mall.

How many minutes do you consider late? Idk man, I prize punctuality a lot. People to me are either early, on the dot, or late.

Is there any jam in the fridge right now? No, we don’t really consume jam. We’re not a very spread-y kind of family, come to think of it. We prefer meatier stuff in our sandwiches.

What did you get your best friend for their last birthday? I learned iMovie throughout my UTI-slash-fever horror experience so I can make a video for Gab that compiled her friends’ greetings in time for her birthday. I wasn’t able to get Angela anything because I was still looking for a job then and didn’t have any source of income; and because Gab broke up with me on that day so I was too distraught to be doing anything.

What about your mom's and dad's last birthdays? My dad was abroad for his last birthday. I didn’t get my mom anything because we don’t have that kind of relationship.

What kinds of food do you dunk into milk? Uhm mostly none, because I never really have milk unless I’m at a hotel or at a friend’s, lol. I’ve dipped chocolate chip cookies into milk several times though, and those didn’t turn out bad at all :) I’m a fan of the mushiness.

Do you have any current or past teachers on your facebook friends? A couple of my high school teachers are still my Facebook friends. I never added nor received requests from my college professors, which I prefer tbh because I’ve always viewed college profs as having a more professional vibe compared to my grade school and high school teachers, who were like parents to me.

Are there any baby pictures of you up? Like, the room I’m currently in? No but my school portrait from Prep is framed and hanging on my wall, which is the closest thing. I was already 7, though.

Do you have any friends who have bleached blonde hair? Nah. I have a lot of friends who’ve dyed their hair over the years, but none bleached all the way through. Gabie did, but just for her tips.

How much sugar do you like in your tea/coffee? Lots. I need every trace of it feeling like black coffee removed, haha.

What color is the cereal in your cupboard? We don’t eat cereals in this family; we’ve always enjoyed a classic Filipino breakfast. Sometimes we’ll get cereals I guess, but we never eat them the traditional way; my mom and sister usually just snack on them straight from the box on non-breakfast hours.

Are you wearing any jewlery that a boyfriend/girlfriend gave you? No.

Has a boyfriend/girlfriend ever given you jewlery? Yes.

Have you ever seen the last person you kissed cry? Many times.

Would you rather work at a gas station or be a maid? I hate chores and touching other people’s stuff, so I’ll go with the gas station. I could meet different people from that job too, which sounds more interesting.

What's the closest store to your house called? Just Things. Basically sells hype merch, including the P5000 streetwear shirts I called out earlier, for all the hype heads in my area.

Do horror movies scare you more when they're 'based on a true story'? The biographical nerd in me obviously gets excited, but I don’t get scared. I get more invested when they include snippets or updates about the real-life counterparts and go beyond the vague ‘based on a true story’ banner.

Do you still talk to the last person who hurt you (emotionally)? Yeah but I really need some sort of coin bank thing for it for every time I do so because idk why I still hang around sometimes.

Is there an outdoor movie theatre where you live? Not where I live. But I do know that because of Covid, some malls outside of my city have started offering drive-in cinemas, which were never a thing here before.

What color was the last food you ate? Golden brown, yellow, black, red, green. It was a truffle and mushroom pizza that I treated my family to because I had gotten my first paycheck this week and I would’ve looked like an absolute ass if I spent it on anything else other than my family. I MEAN I wanted to treat them too, of course, but I won’t deny that there’s an underlying reason for me buying the food as well. Welcome to a firstborn’s life in the Philippines (and in Asia, tbh).

Have you ever seen your mom or dad drunk? My mom has been tipsy, but not drunk. My dad never lets himself get swayed by alcohol. He’ll still get a single bottle of beer, but I’ve never seen his demeanor change.

How expensive is too expensive for a pair of jeans? Anything above P7,000 or P7,500, maybe.

After seeing a movie, do you go to a site to enter a review about it? Nah, I’m not the Letterboxd type of person. I’ll sometimes tweet about a movie, but only if I found it good or intriguing enough.

Have you ever done that? No. I’m not the best movie reviewer, so even though I’m aware of Letterboxd’s or IMDb’s appeal I’ve always been too shy to share my thoughts or ratings just in case someone ends up criticsplaining a movie to me.

Would you consider McDonald's a restaurant? I know what route this question is getting to but I’m too tired to defend my thought process, so suffice it to say I love McDonald’s, lol.

Do your parents vote? LOL my mom only started doing so again when I registered - before 2016, she cast her last vote back in 1992. Of course, her opinions were wrong for both the presidential (2016) and senatorial elections (2019) haha. 

My dad does not vote and he stopped giving a shit about Philippine politics when he started working abroad 20 years ago and increasingly spent more time overseas than he does in his home country. Which, honestly, as sad and bad as it sounds, I totally understand. He’s completely detached from the goings-on in our country that to make him vote would be just as useful as letting him purely guess his choices.

Are there any creepy pictures up on the walls of your house? We’ve never gotten such a comment before, so no.

What's the last thing you were excited to eat? The pizzas I bought tonightttttt :> I got truffle and mushroom pizza and quattro formaggi pizzas and they were from Motorino, this fancy (and pricey) place I used to go on dates in that I haven’t visited so long.

It’s hilarious because I didn’t even plan on buying any food today as I’m stingy with money...but in my shift today I was tasked to order food bundles for certain media partners we regularly collaborate with. I kept ordering all these fucking pizzas for people I don’t even know and I got so jealous???? So I ended up buying for myself at the end of the day HAHAHAH

Do you ever hit electronics if they don't work? I smack them against a surface, but I rarely hit them with my own hand.

Who’s the most romantic person you ever went out with? I’ve only gone out with one person and, her toxic traits aside, I highly doubt any future prospect would ever come remotely close to her.

Is there anything hanging from the ceiling in your room? My bedroom light.

How would you react if your best friend was pregnant/got someone pregnant? She’s not planning on having a kid any time soon so I would assume it happened by accident, and I would assume she would be in distress. That said, my instinct would be to be there for her and support her in whatever she does moving forward.

Do you know who Lisa Simpson is? Sure thing, she’s my favorite.

Have you ever had a crush on the last person you spoke to online? No. I’ve never even met her.

Have you ever seen the last person you hugged dressed up fancy? Sure, my grandma dresses up for parties and other formal events.

(If your parents married), Do you know where they got engaged? No. My dad didn’t even pop the question; at some point they just sat each other down, had a long talk, and decided they’d get engaged. Idk where it happened though. Maybe while on a date somewhere?

What color was the last cup you drank out of? Copper.

What was the last picture you printed of? I honestly can’t tell you. I’ve printed a number of documents for various adulting tasks lately, but I don’t know the last time I specifically printed out a photo.

What restaurant has the best fries? I’d have to go with Army Navy. Or if we’re going with fast food, Jollibee.

What does your mailbox look like? We don’t have one. Messengers just insert envelopes through our screen door.

Have you ever gotten something stuck on the roof? We have a rooftop, so that’s never been a problem for us.

Have you ever had a surprise party thrown for you? No. I don’t think I’ve ever been that important for anyone.

Is the room you're in organized? It can do with some fixing, but it’s not terrible.

Would your mom make a good president? She’d be the most organized, neurotic, and punctual president in the history of presidents, but I doubt she’d be of help in conflict resolution or law-making, or any decision-making aspects that go with being president.

The 2nd class you had last time you went to school: ever skipped it? I don’t think I ever skipped that class in the short time I took it before Covid took over.

Do your aunts and uncles have kids? Yeah, nearly everyone does.

Is this survey interesting so far? I liked it.

Do you say fancy or formal? Or something else? Depends on the context. I use both as I think they have different connotations anyway.

Does your English teacher have kids? The last English professor I had doesn’t.

Does your computer make a lot of noise? The fan whirs when the laptop gets too busy. The noise is definitely noticeable considering how quiet my laptop is 98% of the time; but I wouldn’t call it bothersome.

Do you see movies at home or in the theatre more? Home. I watch at the cinema like, a maximum of 5 times a year.

What's your favorite thing to eat during a movie? Potato Corner fries. Non-negotiable.

[deez-no-relation]

Here’s the tea:

They met in March (One night stand?). Michael was alone in UK in April & looking depressed for a week. They met up again in mid May in London. She has not left his side for a full day since. GO NYC premiere she doesn’t stay for drinks after. Michael’s manager Tony erases all mention of Michael from all of his social media accounts.

GO London premiere posts pictures of him on the green carpet from the second floor. Follows him to every GO event in the following days but did not interact with each other around the general public. Then a week in Wales with his family. Then 5 days in LA while he works.

Michael tweets about how the past few weeks have had really tough things going on for him and people he cares about and how it’s been a difficult time. Lily does a livestream and says she’s glad she doesn’t have any brothers or sisters when someone asks if she likes being an only child. 

Anna’s friend releases a very very poorly acted YouTube short about Midsommer which she starred in. It’s was deleted from YouTube yesterday but clips are floating around. By the end of June they took a trip to Malta to meet her family for vacation. He flew in less than a day later after a stop in France for a music fest. 

She posted a bizarre pic of the two of them someone else took candidly @ the airport and it’s cringey. She’s not really showing too much but she put a caption over half her torso. She posted pics of him & her brothers playing mini golf on her story & a weird selfie of the 2 of them on a boat. She posted a photo of her drink & added a tiny caption that said don’t worry it’s virgin. It was like she was hoping someone would notice.

Her instagram went private for a few days but then she opened it again and nothing had changed. They went back to London after that and have been hiding out there and in Wales. Her old Twitter account is scrubbed. He cried onstage during an interview while talking about a woman who hadn’t spoken to her children in a very long time. Attended a DoLecture conference in Wales. She posted pictures of him on her story.

Goes with him to all tapings and talks and people think she’s his assistant since they don’t acknowledge each other. Fans start finding her account and following her. She followed 3 pregnancy related pages knowing people can see. Followed a personal publicists page. Goes private only after the DM article. Since making her instagram private she has deleted over 120 posts. 

What we know about her past via her old Twitter. Born 20 August 1994. Shes 24 not 25. She’s obsessed with Glee, Lord Of The Rings, Game of Thrones, Vine, Youtube, Sherlock, and Broadway Musicals. Worked at McDonald’s in Sweden and went to McDonalds university for a management position. Was a dancer in the Caberet Candy Club in Sweden since she was 18. Quit her jobs at McDonalds and Caberet to go to NYC Drama School. Graduated in March.

[schraubd]

Best Epic Rap Battles of History (By Season)

Look, we're all bored here, so let's award the best Epic Rap Battles of History for each season. Season One Winner: Albert Einstein vs. Stephen Hawking Honorable Mentions: Dr. Seuss vs. Shakespeare, Napoleon vs. Napoleon The season that started it all. Honestly, though, I think only Einstein vs. Hawking can compete with the stronger entrants in later seasons. The creators -- reasonably enough! -- were still finding their rhythm (get it?). Season Two Winner: Michael Jackson vs. Elvis Runner-up: Rasputin vs. Stalin Honorable Mentions: Steve Jobs vs. Bill Gates, Cleopatra vs. Marilyn Monroe Now we're cooking. The kid who plays young Michael Jackson was superb, and carries his battle to victory. The Rasputin vs. Stalin (vs. Lenin vs. Gorbachev vs. Putin) battle was strong almost top-to-bottom (only Gorbachev was a bit of a sour note for me). Jobs vs. Gates was a ton of a fun (remember those Mac vs. PC ads?). And Cleopatra vs. Monroe was a superb all-women battle with some truly vicious disses. Freddie Mercury's performance over Frank Sinatra was also a stand-out, but he won so convincingly the battle was actually too one-sided to make this list. Season Three Winner: Isaac Newton vs. Bill Nye Runner-up: Edgar Allen Poe vs. Stephen King Honorable Mention: Bob Ross vs. Pablo Picasso  It's tough to top getting Weird Al in one of these (though if Neil deGrasse Tyson had actually played himself -- which I've heard he was willing to do -- it would have been even cooler). Stephen King has one of the best closing lines in the whole series. Bob Ross vs. Picasso is relatively light, but consistent all the way through. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles vs. their namesake Renaissance Artists was good, but the performance was a little short. I also suspect I'm virtually alone in thinking that Miley Cyrus beat Joan of Arc (and pretty decisively, frankly). Season Four Winner: Stan Lee vs. Jim Henson Runner-up: Western Philosophers vs. Eastern Philosophers Honorable Mention: Ellen vs. Oprah If you forced me to pick my absolute, all-time favorite, I'd probably go with Lee vs. Henson -- but it'd be torture. If you asked to pick me single favorite verse, though, it'd be Walt Disney's intervention in Lee vs. Henson -- and it would not be close. It's brilliant from start to finish (and, to be clear, compliments very strong work from Lee and Henson). As a political theorist, I found the philosophy battle hilarious. Ellen vs. Oprah is also a very good, evenly matched battle (and one of the few "clean" ones on ERB). Season Five Winner: George R.R. Martin vs. J.R.R. Tolkien Runner-up: Gordon Ramsay vs. Julia Child Honorable Mentions: Tony Hawk vs. Wayne Gretzky, Ash Ketchum vs. Charles Darwin This was an absolutely loaded season -- I think clearly ERB's strongest overall. Tolkien's final verse where he works in all the titles of the Lord of the Rings is just masterful. I'm a dedicated Gordon Ramsay fan but Julia Child completely kicked his ass. Tony Hawk's incredible first verse is matched by Wayne Gretzky's brutal last verse. And Darwin has one of the great one-liners of all-time calling Ash "Mighty Morphin' Michael Vick." All that talent means a ton of tracks I love don't even make it onto the honorable mentions list here: (Daniel Craig) James Bond vs. Austin Powers, Ivan the Terrible versus various "the Greats", Wonder Women versus Stevie Wonder, and Winston Churchill versus Theodore Roosevelt are all superb. Season Six Winner: Guy Fawkes vs. Che Guevara Runner-up: Elon Musk vs. Mark Zuckerberg Honorable Mention: Ronald McDonald vs. The Burger King This was a shaky season on the whole, but Fawkes vs. Guevara is one of the best in the entire series -- a distinction based primarily around the dead-on Che Guevara portrayal (who knew he also looks exactly like John Snow), but certainly with an impressive toe-to-toe performance from Fawkes. Musk vs. Zuckerberg has a wonderful subtle gag running through it in that Mark "I don't even fucking blink" Zuckerberg in fact never blinks during the whole video. The McDonald vs. Burger King rap sneaks into honorable mention, but not due to either of the titular characters -- Wendy steal the show. Wendy's the company actually tweeted about the rap, which is a bit gutsy given their mascot's line about how she's "exploiting you both like you were growing my tomatoes." via The Debate Link https://ift.tt/2UIgUFU

[kaywilgonz]

Online Communities

There are many ways to grow your online community for your business. Hootsuite and the textbook, “The Social Organization” touch on a lot of different strategies in order to create a successful page when a community can grow and communicate. 

Word of mouth is always a great way to spread the word of what new things are happening for your company. Employees should ask customers to join the online communities to stay up to date on what is going on. They should also focus on responding to any questions or concerns voiced on the businesses social pages. There are many ways to grab the attention of customers to make the community a fun and friendly place to be. Many employees use humor to communicate with their customers as well as to advertise new products. A partnership with influencers draws in attention for a larger group. Using special hashtags is a great way to spread the word of your business while adding a fun detail for customers. It is always important to make everyone feel that they are being heard and thought about. When businesses ignore customers, it shows and does not go over well. Customers notice small details on social pages. It is important to continuously interact with everyone via comments and direct messages. Businesses can also like pictures that are tagged with their handle or personal hashtags. This makes customers feel appreciated. Others can also see the interactions between businesses and their customers and draws positive attention. 

After reading the text and following the Hootsuite assignment, I  learned that is is extremely important for a business to give a reason for others to join their community. It is great to show what makes your company stand out and why others should join in. It is great for there to be a sense of understanding and communication. Those who run business sites should be sure to interact with each individual and not leave any message without a reply or a reaction. 

A company that I think has a great online presence and community it Wendy’s. Their Twitter account is always grabbing attention. I personally see many screenshots of their tweets on other social media sites. They use humor to explain why they are better than their top competitors like McDonald’s and Burger King. They also are sure to reply to their followers with witty comments.

[lol-jackles]

I am not in Hollywood or in the entertainment world but what I have observed from a distance is that everything is all about the money and Anything goes. But the fact that Jared was able to draw the line with AKF and not allow CW to exploit it it's a testament that he has principles that he would not compromise not matter the monetary rewards. I say kuddos to him at least he has been able to maintain that part of himself while in Hollywood.

Of course everything is about money.  90% of the “creative differences” is just another word for salary or budget dispute.  

Alrighty, in honor of AKF, here’s a blast from past.  The year is 2016 and the YANA campaign is launched and this is what fans saw: no messages on what the campaign is about but here is a video of Misha is making Jensen soooooo uncomfortable and haha Misha is stalking Jensen in the bathroom because when it comes to mental illness stalking people and making them uncomfortable is totally helpful!

Fandom reaction:  WTF? WTF? No, really, WTF?  Burn it down!

But before I get more into that, let’s back up 11 months:

03/15/2015 - Jared’s unprecedented success with AKF.  WB sees Ka-Ching!  And Jared is no, no Ka-Ching, AKF is near and dear to mah heart.

05/15/2015 - Jared breaks down and goes dark for 3 weeks and somebody (understudy Misha? Stand? Creation Ent? CW? Singer?) starts planning to take over Jared’s AKF brand.  Ka-Ching!

06/29/2015 - Creation Entertainment’s Gary and Adam registered the Creation Stands LLC 

08/16/2015 - Jensen and Misha “wins” TCA for best chemistry (my lol sides!) and they tweet their boat ride (me: it’s like you’re not even trying to look ignorant).

10/16/2015 - Creation Ent advertises the upcoming Chicago con with Jensen and Misha and the AKF tagline in their main banner.  Fandom’s outrage forced them to take down the Jensen/Misha banner and replaced it with a Jared/Jensen banner three days later.  CE and WB should have been clued in with this.

01/06/2016 - Jensen wins the PCA (me: another brought award?) and Misha just happen to be available on set for Jensen to make a thank you video with (me: riiiiiiight, just a coincidence)

02/11/2016 - Jensen and Misha launch the YANA campaign with series of videos filmed on SPN set and lines written by SPN writers.   CE and WB are anticipating pocketing at least half million dollars in net profit. Ka-Ching!

Show of hands of those who saw this trainwreck coming a hundred miles away.  Misha’s Variey interview said in he wanted to take YANA into many different fandoms, meaning WB behind the idea to suck in more money from fans though mental health merchandise.  I’ll wait here while you go take a shower.   YANA was obviously a piss poor hollow copy of AKF without genuine sincerity, but that might have been forgiven if Creation Ent wasn’t so obvious about lining it’s own pocket with a majority of the net profit and giving a measly 10% to charity.   

Meanwhile, where was Jared in all of this?  Let’s have a look:

05/15/2015 - Jared returns to the United States and starts treatment. New medication?  New therapist?  Who knows but something has to change.  

06/06/2015 - Jared participates in a Gilmore Girl reunion panel. TWLOHA mentioned the $250,000 check they got from Jared.  WB is thinking all that Ka-Ching could have been theirs.

07/13/2015 - Fans surprised Jared at Comic con with tealight vigil.

07/19/2015 - AKF 3.0 is launched with a last minute tealight design added to the shirts, 40K units sold

08/16/2015 - Jared wins the TCA in acting category  (me: eh, it’s probably genuine, he’s been nominated 7 times before and he got bunch of positive mainstream press)

10/16/2015 - the infamous faux pas by Creation Ent advertising the upcoming Chicago con.  While the fandom is starting to realize something is very off and noticing Jensen’s OOC behavior, Jared already knew about YANA being in the works from Jensen.

11/04/2015 - AKF 4.0 + Minute Maid commercial featuring Jared and his family.  His first national corporate sponsorship.  46 K including Black Friday special units sold

02/11/2016 - Jared announced he is returning to Gilmore Girls, the news quickly become the #1 Facebook trending topic, which led to tsunami of media attention.  None of Rory’s other boyfriends got this much attention for returning to the show.  Oh and btw Jensen and Misha launched YANA.  Did Jared hold on to news of his return to GG until the day YANA is launched?  Of course he did.

02/14/2016 - Jared debuts his McDonald all-day breakfast commerical, gets the highest views and likes on McD’s Facebook.  Oh and Jensen and Misha posted a new YANA video in their Facebooks.

02/29/2016 - Jared post his third national corporate sponsor commerical from Chevy, featuring his childhood friend, gets the highest views and likes on Chevy’s YT channel. Oh and Jensen and Misha posted a new YANA video wrapping up the campaign barely making the 40K mark after promising a Hawaii vacation to sweeten the deal.  WB and CE will have to settle for pocketing $200K (instead of the projected half million)

Jared’s personal brand is Always Keep Fighting so he fought WB from using it in the show and making $$ of it.  Then he went further and timed the release his GG news and commercials on the same day as those stupid YANA videos.  Jared did what the Ackles Army always feared he would do; completely overshadowed Jensen and Misha.  YANA never got the fraction of the mainstream media attention and fandom acceptance that AKF got.  Well played, Jared.  Well played.

[k-llama-llama]

The Prank: pt.1/?

Monsta X AU: 8th member

Zoey x Monsta X

Zoey has a plan to prank the boys...and first up are Changkyun and Hyungwon!

A/N: Tell me what you think of this post? If you want to see the other boys get pranked then let me know!

I’m not sure if Tumblr has figured itself out yet…so if you need the masterlist link just DM me.

A/N: pretend Jooheon isn’t there for me

“This is a terrible idea.” Zoey told their manager for the third time.

“It was your idea.” He reminded her. “The cameras are all set up, just put on a good show.”

“What is they yell for help?” She asked. “And it isn’t really an emergency?”

“We’ll be outside the door to let them know that it was a prank.”

Zoey groaned. “Okay, I’m ready.”

She stepped into the meeting room, immediately shifting her posture so that she was more slouched over.

They’d thought up this prank about a week ago, and Zoey had had just as long to decide to back out of it. A tweet had prompted her to consider pranking the boys, but the staff had also wanted something that would show the boys’ caring side. And somehow, Zoey had had the brilliant idea to pretend to pass out in front of them and see how they react.

Except that relied on her acting skills, and also on her willingness to potentially traumatize the boys.

Which apparently she was willing to do.

“Hey Z.” Changkyun looked up from his laptop. Him and Hyungwon had been told that there would be a meeting today, so they were both waiting for it to start.

“Hey.” She smiled weakly.

“You good?” He asked.

“Yeah.” She nodded, hoping that it didn’t look convincing at all. “I’m just a bit tired, that’s all.”

“I heard you rolling around all last night.” Hyungwon said, looking up. “Did you not sleep well?”

Truthfully, she hadn’t slept because she was trying to mentally perfect how the prank would go, but at least it added to her story.

She shook her head. “Yeah, just couldn’t get to sleep.”

“They said this might be a long meeting, are you sure you’re up for it?” Changkyun asked.

“Yeah, I’m good.” She tried to reassure them, sitting down at the table. “Go back to your work, we still have twenty minutes before the meeting starts.”

She pulled out her phone as they both turned their attention away, making certain to periodically sigh or shake her head as if trying to wake herself up.

When fifteen minutes had passed, she knew it was time. 

“I need water.” She muttered, standing from the table shakily.

She noticed Changkyun watching her out of the corner of his eye, and she spotted the hidden camera on the other side of the room, which meant that it was time for her to do her part.

She stumbled, bracing herself against the wall.

“Z?” Changkyun sat up straighter. “What’s wrong.”

“Nothing.” She shook her head. “I feel...I feel fine. I’m...”

She pretended she was doing a trust exercised, and fluttered her eyes closed and collapsed to the floor.

“Zoey!” Hyungwon, who was closest to the spot where she’d collapsed, shoved his chair out of the way and dropped to the floor beside her.

“Z!” Changkyun, lightly patted her cheek. “Wake up! What happened?”

“I don’t know! She just fell!” Hyungwon said, running his hands over her head, she tried not to laugh, because it tickled a little bit. “Did she hit her head.”

“I don’t think so...I...Can someone help us!” Changkyun shouted at full volume, pulling her body up so that he was cradling her head and shoulders off the floor.

Hyungwon leapt to his feet and flung the door open. “Help! Can you-” He paused.

Changkyun turned frantically to the door. “What are you doing? Get help! She isn’t waking up.”

“I-” Hyungwon stepped out of the way, and the manager and a camera man stepped inside.

“What?” Changkyun looked up. “Why are you filming? She’s hurt!”

Zoey opened her eyes. “No, I’m good.”

“What is going on?” Hyungwon demanded.

“Are you okay?” Changkyun asked, turning her head so he could check her over. “Are you feeling better.”

“I’m feeling just dandy.” She promised.

“What? But you fainted?”

“No, I didn’t.” She shook her head.

Changkyun sighed. “Zoey, I think you did hit your head. You literally just fainted.”

Hyungwon realized what was happening. “Are you kidding me? It was a prank?”

Zoey sat up all the way, still partially in Changkyun’s lap. “Sorry?”

“You pranked us?” Changkyun leaned back, breathing in a sigh of relief.

“Yup! Did I do good?” She made sure to wave at the camera.

“You did great.” Hyungwon rolled his eyes. “Very convincing.”

“Too convincing!” Changkyun exclaimed. “If anything had happened to you then Shownu would have killed us.”

“I’ll play the prank on him next,” She patted his arm. “No hard feelings?”

“Never.” He laughed.

“So I take it there isn’t a meeting then?” Hyungwon asked.

The manager shook his head. “We just needed you to get here.”

“Perfect. I’m going back to bed.”

“Urgh, me too.” Changkyun stood.

Zoey raised her arms. “At least help me off the floor!”

“You put yourself there, you can get yourself up.” Hyungwon gathered his things.

Zoey pouted, and Changkyun relented and pulled her to her feet. 

“Who’s next?” She asked the manager.

“Shownu, Wonho and Kihyun.” He answered. “In a few hours. Get something to eat.”

“Will do.” She turned to Changkyun. “Want to go get food?”

“Can I come?” Hyungwon asked.

“Sure, my treat. Since I traumatized you both.”

“It better be your treat. C’mon, Changkyun, we’re ordering the most expensive food they have.”

“It’s McDonald’s, it isn’t that bad!”