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#out of sight out of mind but to the extreme
ssahotchnerr · 18 hours
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Hello! How are you doing?
I don't have anything extremely specific (sorry, I'm just leaving work and haven't really thought about this).
But if you want to, how about jealous Aaron who has the, very rare, opportunity to go pick up the reader from her job and see her all smiles with another coworker? In this case I was thinking that there might be a age gap between them and the male coworker is more of her age? So a bit of jealous and insecure Hotch?
If you feel comfortable with this of course!
Have a good day 😊
in comparison
cw; fem!reader, age gap, insecure :( and jealous!aaron, some angst, small suggestiveness, fluff <3 wc; 1.2k
You were exiting the building with a few of your colleagues, partaking in what appeared to be an entertaining conversation from Aaron's line of sight. The liveliness on your face was vivid, undoubtedly enjoying whatever the whole of you were collectively discussing.
You looked comfortable, relaxed, happy. You molded into the group well. One of your male colleagues in particular was inching a bit too close, a near awestruck expression on his face as a laugh escaped you. If he took one step to his right, his shoulder would be touching yours. While you were clueless, he was enamored.
Aaron felt his eyes harden involuntarily, a jealous heat swarming through his body; he wanted to march over there and assert his role as yours. However, the feeling wasn't long lasting. A profound sadness climbed up his spine, as he gained a different perspective.
It wasn't that you didn't fit into his life. On the complete contrary: you were the perfect addition.
But something about seeing you with others, with someone closer to your age, was daunting. Intimidating. It sickened him how natural the visual appeared. Reality has smacked him in the face numerous times over the years, he wouldn't be surprised if it happened again. That somehow, someway, you would prefer the latter. The one that had nothing to do with him.
As you walked towards Aaron's car, you glanced back at your coworkers, offering a wave and a smile as they jointly headed to the parking lot. His window was opened a crack, and he heard you call back towards them, "Have fun tonight!"
Aaron exhaled a breath.
"Hey." You chirped as you slid into the passenger seat, leaning over the center console to place a kiss on Aaron's cheek. He was rather stiff as you did so, causing you to lightly scrunch your nose in confusion, pulling away slowly. Something was up.
"Hey," He echoed, greeting you with an almost forced smile. The abruptness of his thoughts had unsettled him deeply - he couldn't shake them. "You ready?"
"As I'll ever be." You responded hesitantly, searching his face as you buckled your seatbelt. You added after a moment, happy to be in his company and the emotion overtaking your heart. "I missed you today."
But your words went unnoticed, as he had already reentered the void that was his unwelcome thoughts.
In result the car ride home was silent, Aaron's pout unfaltering. His mind was plagued by the image of your coworker being in his place, driving you home, or the two of you huddled together amongst a night out with friends. It caused an uncomfortable, sad pit in his stomach.
"You missed a turn."
"What?"
Your statement jolted him back to earth. No he didn't... did he? His eyebrows furrowed in a line, reassessing the current surroundings. Nothing out of the ordinary, all familiar street signs. When he confirmed he, in fact, did not miss a turn, he turned to you, only to find a knowing smirk plastered on your face.
His eyebrows quirked softly, obstructing the line drawn above his eyes. "What was that about?"
"To get your mind off whatever you're stewing about."
A smile threatened his lips, due to your witty expression and observation, "I'm not." His tone found a slightly lighter note - amusingly guilty. Anything but convincing.
"Aaron, darling, you're gonna break some teeth if that," Your playful demeanor dropped for a moment, your eyes tracing back and forth, as if you were in a trance. "Jaw of yours tightens anymore."
Your brief distraction eased a notion of his jealousy, he still had that effect on you, thankfully. He readjusted his grip on the steering wheel, his stare forward.
"So what is it?" You asked, "Did you have a bad day?"
He shook his head.
"Bad bout of cases?"
Aaron grimaced, his knuckles letting up only to secure his fingers over the wheel again, "They're always bad."
"Something I did?"
He opened his mouth to respond, but only silence came out. His hesitation caused your face to fall, your shoulders dropping and posture succumbing to the back of your seat.
"No honey, no you didn't do anything." He was quick to reassure, feeling entirely worse. "I can assure you."
Your eyes met his, needing more.
He sighed defeatedly, surprisingly not afraid to bluntly admit, "I'm jealous."
"Jealous?" You froze, but then it clicked. You gestured behind, as if your colleagues were somehow tailing the two of you. "Of...?"
Aaron bit his lip, nodding slowly.
Your expression lightened, a soft and genuine wonder in your eyes, "Why?"
"Are you okay with this?" Confusion arose on your face once more, so he clarified. "This. Us. You signed up for a lot, quickly at that."
Truth be told, the two of you had progressed at a rate neither of you expected, due to the sheer infatuation you possessed for one another. That, too, had been natural.
"I'm divorced, widowed, a father - I come with baggage. My 'going-out' are days long gone. I don't want you missing out."
"Aaron." In a way, you could laugh. It tore your heart into pieces he was thinking this way, doubting himself but he was clueless in an adorably, idiotic way. In summary, he simply never gave himself the credit he deserved. "What could I possibly be missing out on?"
"You could be spending your weekends out, socializing, with people closer in age. And yet, you're..." He came up with an example. "Making pillow forts. These are supposed to be the best years of your life. I'm terribly boring in comparison."
"Hey, I make a mean pillow fort."
He gave you a look.
Your hand grabbed his bicep affectionately, clinging onto it as if you were knocking some sense into him. "I chose this. I chose you. Jack is the addition to my life I never knew I needed. And I don't want to be out galavanting bar to night club to bar. I jump at the opportunity to deny a night out to spend it in. With you. When have you ever seen me wanting to go out and party?"
An expression of distaste flashed across your face at the concept, and Aaron's head tilted to the side as he considered your point.Yeah, that was true.
"I'm a homebody. And if there's anything I've realized over the course of the past months, you're my home. You."
Aaron let out the breath he didn't know he was holding.
"I know what I'm in for. And I embrace it with open arms. I want it." Your face was content, even more so than when you were talking with your colleagues. "I love you. And I love the life we're creating. It's so special, beyond my wildest dreams."
"Really?" A boyish, hopeful expression graced his face.
"Really. I wouldn't want it any other way. I can promise you. This- you're everything I could ever want."
Aaron's hand found your thigh, giving it a gentle, loving squeeze. "I love you too, sweetheart."
You beamed in response - you'd never get tired of the words leaving his lips.
"That one guy though," Aaron raised his eyebrows, taking a quick glance at you. Envy began creeping back, "He seemed interested. Wasn't a fan of that."
You scoffed, unbothered. "I'm into men, not boys. Which again, you are the utmost depiction of." Your delightful smirk resurfaced, admirably looking him over. "Believe me, I couldn't be more satisfied."
He wanted to play into your suggestive remarks, but he needed further confirmation. Once more. "You sure?"
"Oh, I'm positive."
Finally satisfied himself, he surrendered, "Okay."
"In fact, I can think of a few ways to show you just how much later."
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mizu0xox0 · 1 day
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Fei Xiao and Ruan Mei x reader with Oshi No Ko star eyes
[Both characters are written as separate hcs, might be OOC]
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🦊Fei Xiao
-Shes definitely fascinated by how unique your eyes look, I mean sure some Xianzhou folks have unique eye colors but your eyes that look like they hold the galaxy in them now that's something she could stare into daily
-Fei Xiao will definitely introduce you to Jiaoqiu and Moze. And you bet she'll always bring up how beautiful your eyes are well everything about you is beautiful but your eyes stand out the most
-Fei Xiao will do anything to see your eyes light up. Compliment you? Of course she doesn't mind. Train with you? She is on her way. Maybe even sparring with her? Gladly plus she gets the bonus of seeing the passion burning in your eyes
-Speaking about compliments I feel like Fei Xiao would say something along the lines of "You're my world and I mean it quite literally you have a whole galaxy in your eyes."
-This will get worse when she is drunk and her words start to slur. There may even be occurrences where either Jing Yuan, Jiaoqiu or Moze may have to witness such occurrences as they bring her back to your shared house and see Fei Xiao saying extremely cheesy compliments about you which makes the average person cringe
-All in all sure your eyes are unique but Fei Xiao finds all of your unique
🧬Ruan Mei:
-As someone who wishes to understand lifeforms well she's seen many eyes of different lifeforms but no lifeform has eyes as interesting as you
-She tries to recreate your eyes with her experiments such as the cat cakes but the cat cakes eyes just aren't like yours a whole galaxy
-If you ever want that cat cake she'll gladly let you take it since well its a mini you sort of
-Whenever she spends time locked up in her lab and needs some new inspiration she may just go to you and look at your eyes. Something about your eyes may give her ideas. Maybe the various sparkles and twinkles in them.
-Ruan Mei who in her journey of understanding lifeforms doesn't seem to grasp the understanding of your eyes and why she gets lost in those eyes for yours. It's as if your eyes hold the whole galaxy in them that she could get lost it
-Every once in a while she may be doing some embroidery work and may embroider your eye color in her work after all it is quite a sight
-She will have difficulty expressing her emotions and compliments are rare from her but you can tell she's definitely somewhere between fascinated and amazed by your eyes since she looks a little more intent into your eyes as compared to when she's with other people. But be patient with her as time goes on who knows.
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Note: Thank you for reading! I finally decided to write about two of my favorite female characters in HSR, I really love Ruan Mei a lot esp since her release. Really wishing that she'll achieve her goal of becoming an aeon. Hopefully sometime in the future I'll have a firmer grasp on these two characters and write more for them.
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tylerjeauxburreaux9 · 15 hours
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𝖴𝖭𝖤𝖷𝖯𝖤𝖢𝖳𝖤𝖣 // blurb
𝙹𝚘𝚎 𝚋𝚞𝚛𝚛𝚘𝚠 𝚡 𝚋𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚏𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛
𝙹𝚘𝚎 𝚋𝚞𝚛𝚛𝚘𝚠 𝚡 𝚛𝚎ader
Summary: When you are force to go to every game with your sister, it turns out to be something you didn’t expect to happen.. imagine your going to a game right and you see the quarterback and he’s hot not like you imagine him to be at least you knew he was hot but you didn't think he would extremely hot. But here’s the twist you get home, and you see that he started following out of nowhere and the next you know you’re texting each other.
A/n: @bengals-barnesbabe for the message
Warning:fluffy 
Word count:
This one particular game so happened. out of all the games, I have been to. I have never thought to look at all the players while they were coming out of the tunnel until today I did.
I could possibly say I wasn’t expecting this to happen, but we just happened to fall in love. It’s like love at first sight.
“Do I have to go to this stupid game?” I say annoyed looking at my sister Sara, she always loved football, every time football came around she would make me wear this stupid Bengals jersey and go to their silly little game because she was their biggest fan.
On the other hand side me, I was very much not the biggest fan, don’t get me wrong I love football but I wouldn’t say I liked going out to one because it was too crowded and loud for me. But I didn’t mind going because I was going with my sister
“Yes, you know this y/n, you always have to go, please stop being a baby and just come on. Before we are late” looking at me with her arms folded, sighing
She wore her big orange jersey with the number 1 in the back and front with the word CHASE printed on the back. With camouflage cargo pants, black and white Jordan ones.
While I had on this black baggy t-shirt with Aaliyah‘s face on it. With her name written in graffiti letters, ripped jeans, and black and white dunks.
“Okay, “I say “ “Oh my god, just come on, before we are late,” Sara says, rolling her eyes, then pulling me by my arms, pushing me into the car.
20 minutes later
We were at the game sitting in our chair while they called their each time a football player ”your quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals. Joe burrow “The announcers announced. He was running slowly, I admired him from afar, watching as he came out of the tunnel
I didn’t think he was this hot, I mean I knew he was hot. But I think he was this hot the whole time during the game I couldn’t keep my eyes off him. He was too damn hot.
“Sara, that Joe Burrow, “ I say “Yes, “ Sara says “Well I knew he was hot but didn't think he was that hot, “ I say “Well you’ve seen it for yourself, “ Sara says. I continued to look at him the whole time of the game.
The game was over. The Cincinnati Bengals had won the game. We were on our way home.
When we got home, I went into my room, took my shoes off, got in my bed, picked up my phone, opened up Instagram, and started to scroll through the reels. Until I saw the big bold letter with the blue check marked saying ‘joeyb_9 started following you’ To my surprise, I couldn’t help but scream. He just randomly followed me like that. Shocked and confused.
“Ahhhhh Joe Burrow just followed me “ I screamed my hands over my mouth, I was still shocked and confused“Y/n what’s wrong, “ Sara said “Um, nothing Sara, “ I said looking at my phone still In shock.
I wanted to see if it was real, so I pressed the message button, nervous to dm him I began to type out ‘ um hi’, but my hand slipped hitting the send I started to think to myself. ‘I can’t believe I sent that, what if he doesn’t see it.
Until I looked at my phone and saw the three little dots that showed he was typing. The text read ‘Hi’ I began to text him back, and then a conversation between the two of us started. There were giggles, teasing, kicking, smile, and flirting in between each text
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After that I couldn’t fall asleep I was stuck on the thought that I just talked to the hottest popular quarterback ever and he asked me out. The only thing I could do was smile and hug my pillow. I can’t even think straight. “Wow, that was something”I say, as I constantly think about him, ask me out .still speechless.
Another note: I wasn't planning on writing this it just kinda happened, lol. But the passengers' side will be out l
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j-nakamura · 3 days
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♡— Newcomers, Announcements, & Exclusive.
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✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏
Hi everyone! Welcome back to our second article posting of 'TSOTH'. It's an honor for many to be interested in what I have to write! We have multiple students to introduce, so let's get to it!
(click keep reading to see the rest of the article)
Coming into the new year, I am proud to say that we have multiple new students that we should welcome into our school! I got a chance to interview a few of them, so I'm here to give everyone a warm welcome with some personal information that I received from each of them. :)
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Let's start off with Cassie Sandsmark. ( @cassandra-e-sandsmark )
Cassandra Sandsmark is fifteen years old and goes by the pronouns they/she. She is from Gateway City, California (what a long way from home!), and they prefer to have people call them Cassie or Cass.
In the past, she has been to over 5 boarding schools! So let's hope she sticks to the landing with this school and does not get expelled like she did in her past schools. If you bump into them in the hallway, beware! you may end up fighting!
In other good news, they're interested in Soccer and Football. Make sure you go out to those games to support her!
Up next we have Moss Verner! ( @moss-loves-dinosaurs )
Moss Verner is a sixteen-year-old foreign exchange student from New Zealand! They're nearly seventeen, and have been enjoying being in a new country so far! They use the pronouns they/he and go by Moss. Feel free to stop them in the hall to say hello!
So I was informed by a little birdie that Sir Moss Verner had superpowers... However, when I asked about them directly, they had left no comment on the sudden address asking if it was true or not. We may have a new vigilante on our hands, everyone!
Moving on from that little rumor, Moss wanted me to let everyone know that they would be making a new club! A D&D club! Go ahead and message them with any questions you may have about it! I'm sure Moss would greatly appreciate it.
Up next is Jaime Reyes! ( @jaimereyesbug )
Jaime Reyes uses he/him pronouns and is from El Paso, Texas. He's sixteen at the moment but turning seventeen next month! Make sure to wish him a happy birthday once the month hits!
Jaime, unfortunately, is very far away from home. He says he misses his family, but he's glad he got away from that state due to it being extremely homophobic. Good thing he's able to text his family members in order to cure his homesickness!
Speaking of sickness, I think Jaime must've caught the love flu. Considering that notion, be aware of your surroundings as the love flu strikes more victims!
Second to last, we have Corus Lim-W! ( @corus-lim-w )
Corus Lim-W is a sixteen-year-old who uses any pronouns! He requested that people try not to use only one set of pronouns for her, so keep that in mind! They are from Gotham (another one!), and he does not really have any nicknames for people to call them. She did mention that people from their old school called him "Cor'! They're really interested in art so maybe you can bond with him over art classes!
Taking note out of the interview, Corus has been able to tell what would happen before it's happened. I'd say that's some amazing deja vu or far-seeing sight if you asked me!
Now, I have to mention this, but does anyone else wonder what the 'W' stands for in their username? Well, I have a theory.... and I think it fits. The W stands for Wayne! See! Hear me out, he's from Gotham AND who has the biggest name in Gotham that starts with the letter W? BRUCE WAYNE. Could Corus be Mr. Wayne's secret love child?
Finally, we have Mikael (no last name. unfortunate. :'( ) ( @mikael1256 )
Mikael is seventeen years old and was born in New York. I never received what pronouns they prefer so for the majority of this writing process, I will be using they/them strictly due to this fact.
Mikael lives in a family that travels! They traveled all over the place until their father decided to reside in Gotham. While talking about the traveling they did, they mentioned that their favorite place to travel to was Montana.
Now... I'm totally not one to start rumors, but throughout that entire interview, Mikael did not blink once. I promise I am NOT crazy bruh.
Anyways, that wraps up introductions! Let's move on to announcements.
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ANNOUNCEMENTS;
Journalism Club is having a meet & greet event on Thursday @ 4 pm! Come visit and learn more about Journalism. We're recruiting AND free snacks & drinks. Anyone is welcome to come!
The Dance Team is having tryouts on Friday @ the dance studio! Make sure to practice a dance routine so you're able to showcase it on Friday! If you have any more questions, feel free to message Morgan Drew! ( @midrew )
That's all for Announcements. Moving on to our exclusive of the week. :)
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I have been submitted a writing piece to publish in this week's issue! I believe it's written over the newfound popular ship that's been going around called "DukeJay" (so silly).
Here it is and feel free to leave your feedback about it in the comments!
Hands cling to toussled pink hair as brown eyes widen. "Duke..." Jay whispers, pressing his fingers to the other's lip.
Once upon a time his voice would have incited anger in Duke. Irritation, annoyance.
But something about the way the other stared at him with those warm brown eyes sparked something within him. A flutter he struggled to push down.
Wow! That was.... interesting to read!
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Thank you all for reading this week's "The Stories of Tripolis High" issue! I hope you enjoyed reading it! Anyways, Jay Nakamura is out until next time... ;)
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fraternum-momentum · 11 months
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might i suggest u get into obey me? 🤭
I did try getting into obey me like,,, last year i think?? Unfortunately I didn't get very far into the story :[ idk why but with mobile games I often get into it for a few days at most and then never touch it again after (whb, nu:c, pgr though i still rlly like Lee and no i do not have a type please stop spreading misinformation, and dislyte are some games I can think of on the top of my head and what do you know, they're all gacha games LMADOADOAOD). Purely design wise I like Belphie a lot but i never met him in game lolol also he likes naps and I like naps too
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the outline of the other eye being visible is kinda pissing me off tho why is it still there mf its covered why can we see it
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wildflowerteas · 5 months
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the red camellia is undeniably soukoku's flower to me. they bloom in the cold, through snow and winter chill. they're at their most beautiful in the harshest conditions when everything else is dormant or dead. they're a symbol of perseverance and strength and passion. but at the end of the line, they 'behead' themselves when they die, refusing to drop petal by petal, choosing to go when they're still beautiful, refusing to compromise the rest of the tree by rotting on the branch.
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possiblyfunny · 3 months
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Hey, look guys, more art-
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HOPE.
I’ve been wanting to draw him like this ever since I first saw him smile, but my will to draw eluded me until now! This started off as a doodle, so, please excuse the messiness. I drew this to de-stress.
“Fire” Red belongs to @creatively-cosmic. They have a blog called @themissingnumbers, which is really good! Go check it out if you want to see more.
[Sketch + Colored Version below the cut!]
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#Not my greatest work but it’s what I made :)#Hope you don’t mind the lack in quality- haha#I’ve made better pieces#but I still like this one!#I feel like I’m getting better at drawing his hair lmao-#I just kinda messed around with this one but I really wanted to draw him smiling#Fire smiling makes me happy :)#He deserves to be happy#and I hope I can help him attain that happiness.#Even if my help is the equivalent of Baby Steps lmao#Gotta start somewhere!#I could not find the font used for the hidden text for the life of me#but I found a similar one!#Hope Starry and the Mods are doing well!#And I hope we get to see more Happy/Hopeful Fire in the future :)#His smile is precious-#(Bonus!: Y’know what I really wanna see? Red smiling. And not the creepy wide/crazy/manic smiles he usually has.#I mean a true honest-to-god genuine smile. Now THAT would be a sight for the history books. Red deserves to smile too.#Just like everyone else does.#That might be my next goal aside from befriending Leaf—getting Red to smile.#Is that probably going to be extremely difficult? Oh most definitely! But I think he’s worth the effort.)#(Bonus-Bonus!: I wanna give Red a hug so bad-#but I also feel like he’d bite me or something if I tried :(#Maybe he’d just let it happen? Or cry. Or both—who knows?#Red deserves some gentle treatment. He’s been through a lot too.)#I wonder who I’ll get the will to draw next? Hopefully I’ll do them justice!#Long ahh tags Jesus Christ- Didn’t know I could max them out.#Missing Numbers#Fire Red Yuuji#My Art
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vigilskeep · 8 months
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What's current Morghaine's backstory? How did they end up hunting mages?
instead of the original morghaine’s archfey warlock patron, the questionable motherly figure in morghaine’s life was their high elf parent, from an influential family of morally dubious enchantment wizards. their mother claimed to be different from the rest, and perhaps she was... but with their memory repeatedly modified to keep them from leaving the “safety” of their home for the dangerous outside world, morghaine wouldn’t even know. after their stumbling attempts at wizardry summoned a familiar who led them on an escape, a young morghaine found themself in the middle of a baldur’s gate they didn’t even recognise, with nothing but a slowly clearing head and the need to get out.
morghaine might never have had quite their family’s gift for the arcane, but they learned enough about casters to know how to stop one in their tracks. plenty of mercenary bands know exactly the standoffish, intimidating gloomstalker to call when the fight ahead involves someone with a few too many magical tricks up their sleeve. morghaine always figured it was good training for the hunt ahead. they might not remember much, but they remember enough to know that one day, their family needs to be stopped
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tedlebred · 4 months
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fyodor priest au. Discuss
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The ADHD experience is forgetting where you set you cup down five minutes ago, but being able to pick up where you end off in a conversation you had 10 years ago. It's remembering the fine details of a book but forgetting who gave it to you, or if you bought it yourself. It's remembering a thing your best friend mentioned an interest in, but forgetting their birthday even though you've been best friends for 10+ years.
When we are bored, we become the equivalent of a husky in a cubicle. When the boredom gets bad, we break down, crying, and fall into a deep depression.
It's randomly getting the intense and overwhelming craving for a bowl of plain rice or a slice of bread with a little butter on it, and craving nothing else. Just this dose of carbs that brings absolute satisfaction.
It's fighting to convince your body to move and acquire food and water, but you remain trapped on the sofa, your brain and body will not move even though you haven't eaten or had anything to drink in 12 hours. You need to use the bathroom, your bladder is raging, and the only thing that finally gets your brain to behave is the pain.
ADHD isn't just some cute thing of being distracted with a case of the zoomies. It's a nightmare that results in losing jobs, poor eating habits, insomnia so bad you're awake for three days and fall asleep only because you're exhausted, and your home is filthy even though you desperately want to clean it up. There's nothing enjoyable about this fuckery.
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ichigosoju · 4 months
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🍪🥛
#out of sight out of mind....#im not gonna check his blogs every day from here on out#and i hid/archived our chat so i dont have to see it when i open the messaging app#i do have some kind of 'fomo' lol bc i dont wanna miss out on any potential glimpse into his mind or days#esp now when he doesnt tell me anything anymore. idk anything abt what goes on with him#but .. i am allowing and letting him control my life#i obsessively check my phone and refresh his blogs ALL day#it's extremely unhealthy and pathetic and i know this#it's just hard to stop bc i genuinely... love him sm#plus he told me he wanted me for real so he made me not only dream of a life i thought wasnt possible for me#but also WANT it. i only want him and to live with him and be his. that's all i want but he just cut me off out of nowhere lol#and im still hung up on it... i dont want my boring reality. current nor future. i just want the reality where im with him which he made me#think was smth i could have one day soon.#but anyway. if his feelings changed that's how it is. it's not even his fault it's just how things work in life#even if i dont want to accept it i have to. i cant keep living in this limbo. i try to talk to him but he's a wall so that's a No.#so i cant let him control my life and waste away all my days on him#i need to stop checking his blogs and our chat. that's the first step#im still gonna allow myself to think of him and daydream and fantasize. but that will have to stop soon too#then i have to focus on doing my assignments and read books and go to the gym#things that will help me get realistically where i want in my current reality#i want to finish highschool and then apply for a preschool or library program#and hopefully the plan is to get a student housing apartment so i can move out finally and live on my own and study#then when i finish i'll look for a job as either of those things. and a place to live (which is super fkn hard in these modern chaos times)#even if i have to live my life all alone... i want to be as comfortable as i can at least#i can live in my own row house and have pets and work and read and play games and watch shows#and see and talk to my mom#i mean hopefullyyyy i'll be able to try to make at least some shallow connections so i have ppl to hang out with#i can always hope to meet someone who'll fall in love with me but im not counting on it#ugh.. bc as it is now#i dont do ANYTHING but be on my phone
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udurghsigil · 1 year
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can't stress enough that you guys don't have to answer every single ask you get. in fact you can just delete them. especially if they are causing you psychic damage.
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kebiday · 2 years
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of course ppl have no obligation to care about characters they don't like... & fandom is about doing what you want and having fun... & it's inevitable for fanon to simplify the cast into little cardboard cutouts...
but i Do wish that ppl who pour a lot of love & effort into analyzing + developing the relationships of + having empathy for the circumstances of the main characters would extend more than a fraction of that to other characters. like my favorite girl kevin day 🐈‍⬛
#ok. i admit i might like side characters a bit too much. b/c i hate to see an interesting situation go to waste and i ♡ making things up#(<- guy who literally has a tetsuji & kayleigh section in their rambling thoughts doc)#but i do think it's a fair gripe to have abt characters w/ the plot relevancy of say. kevin 🐈‍⬛#this may turn into a kevin complaints tirade i'm afraid#we have all heard it before... but i think of it often...#like. I Get that 90% of the time he appears he's either 1. reeling from recent trauma 2. engrossed in special interest or 3. plot device#and of course it's hard to conceptualize him as having other desires based on canon b/c he literally isn't developed enough as a character#to be shown with them. And tkm cuts off right at a point where he'd be reeling from another major change (abuser being killed)#so the easy solution is to take what we see in canon (snapshot of him as he behaves in an extremely turbulent situation) (from neil's pov)#(with all of its biases & skewedness) and leave it at that + only write abt him in ways that don't make things difficult for main charas#+ further boil it down into spineless & anxious yet bitchy & ascetic exy alcoholic w/ no relationships.#hm. lemme say this. of course this isn't true everyone who hcs kevin as aroace#& it makes sense to relate to a character who isn't too focused on any relationships as someone who's acespec#so i don't dislike the hc at all. but at the same time i do think that sometimes ppl hc him as aroace for reasons#that aren't coming from the best/most genuine of places: one being that it's easy#ppl don't have to think of him having desires that aren't explored in the snapshot of canon we're given#or really write him in any complex relationships (even platonic ones). like he's out of sight & out of mind#he's not a threat to andreil as a couple/the ot3 tension from kevin being surgically cut from the romantic narrative#can also be dismissed as accidental (?)#lastly this is a reach sure but ppl do like assigning any character w/ vaguely neurodivergent traits as acespec#'how could they be in/even be interested in relationships if their social skills & interests & behaviors are like That' & etc.#i am not sure... sometimes the fanon just rubs me the wrong way... i am just talking to myself on my blog.#mimithoughts#kevin
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medicinemane · 1 month
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Anyway, hope you're all doing well
I just... I haven't slept and also I've got like... 2-4 days of tumblr to catch up on... mostly to make sure I don't lose anything I want to keep requeuing
In many ways I'm probably doing better than I have been in a long time... maybe ever, but... I've got zero focus, I can barely watch youtube videos, I certainly can't play games... I can't get myself to clean... I don't know man
It's like... it's like my mind's empty except for some thick clear goopy sludge... it's like being over at a strange house sat alone in a big room waiting for people to come back... not wanting to touch anything so you just sit there staring and feeling out of sorts, except it's just constant in my own house in my own room... just saw Bart flop down in front of my door and realized I'm so out of it I forgot I had cats
It's like I'm living every moment in the moment, but not in a peaceful way, in a I'm untethered from reality and trying to figure out plans or how to deal with getting everything sorted out is just kinda painful kinda way
Then my mood... well... I kinda have no mood. I'm fucking numb if I'm honest. I have flavor opinions like "I'm worthless and should kill myself", but I actually don't even feel depressed right now, I feel nothing
I don't see much point to my future even if everything goes great, and I would like to kill myself, but I have zero interest in even considering it right now even though I have everything I need around if I just stand up and take a single step
So... much as it probably sounds like I'm just pure in the trash right now, I'm actually in many ways probably doing better than I ever have before... I'm just also real messed up right now at the same time
I don't feel hopeful, I never feel hopeful, but I do feel like I can maybe guide shit into a good position, it's just once again I figure that even if I do everything I want to with being able to help other people out and stuff, I'll still just kinda end up alone in a crowd
You know... funny thing is I'm thinking "the fuck is even the point I wanted to make?", and I realize... my point was actually that I'm doing pretty good and not to worry... not sure how well I'm selling it, but it's true
I hesitate to assign anything to myself, my stance on me and anything I can't conclusively say tends to be no comment... but if I were looking at someone else describing what I'm feeling in my position, I might be inclined to say burnout... months of having to be on and clean and manage everything and... all that... well it's one explanation, who knows if it's correct
Anyway though, I'm good, don't worry, know I do appreciate you all and wish I had more brain power to say more to more people... it's just maybe kinda sad that this is my version of doing good... the fuck is wrong with me if I wake up everyday feeling like I've been beaten with clubs... and for me this is kinda peak... what's that say about my baseline?
Doesn't matter, only thing to do is keep moving forward
Guess insomnia paired with not really being able to think, like words just kinda pop out with no planning... guess it makes me ramble real bad, this was supposed to be like one or two paragraphs being positive
It's a Beautiful World
#mm tag so i can find things later#to be clear; I'm referencing the Devo song; and if you know the song... that's kinda a negative thing to say#it's a beautiful world... for you... it's not for me#that's the sentiment I express when I say that; just to avoid confusion... though... confusion I can't deny is also kinda the point#I like hiding things in plain sight; I like lies of omission#...but also... is it so bad to try and let people think I'm being more positive than I am seeing as people have a problem with how I am?#makes them sad; you know?#I'm not even meaning to be negative; I'm just trying to lay out my thoughts so people don't have to read my mind#I think people will probably read this and take it as extremely negative but... it more just is#my brain feels broken right now... that's not meant as doom and gloom... just a statement of fact#people always seem to worry about me... but... they kinda... worry about the wrong stuff#...they kinda... it's like if someone was really worried cause I skinned my knee and it looked real gross but was pretty surface#and I just couldn't get them to stop focusing on that and listen to the fact I had internal bleeding and that was much worse#it's not the fact I want to kill myself that's the problem; it's not that I can often be melancholic#it's all the systemic issues going on... the isolation; the... never feeling like I succeed... that kinda thing; you know?#the money and the getting things stabilized#even if life goes perfect and I even somehow get the stuff I think is literally impossible for me to get that I want so bad#...good chance I'll still be kind of melancholic#...but would that really be so bad? if I was just a little glum when it came to me?#despite the fact that with everything that's not me I say 'lets just keep moving forward and change what we can'?#despite the fact I tend to have a very upbeat... lets not dwell on the past; lets see how we can fix the now kinda mindset?#despite the fact I think I must seem a bit stupid and bumbling in person cause I always tend to be kinda 'it is what it is'?#just because I think bad thoughts and you hear how I think on here... my actions aren't enough to outweigh that?#clean all that shit; but I dare to not like myself very much... seems like weighing the two I really am just negative or whatever; eh?#and by god always make sure to tell me to get a therapist even though I'm both working on that and also it won't fix me#if therapy fixed me I'd be fixed at like 14; it's systemic shit; like I said... therapist can just help a bit#...what I really need is for more people to turn towards me a bit more... 20% of the time even... nah I don't want to elaborate#I don't want to phrase that the more understandable way; I want everyone to... miss it... I can't stand to be seen and then ignored... agai#wish people would worry a little less about me and help a little more... mostly by just being company#can't a body fall down stairs in peace? you know?
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intcrastra · 4 months
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Love the idea of the little wings at Robin’s waist and head fluttering whenever she’s flustered.
#✮┆ ( .ooc. );#hc; robin#//Love the idea of her little wings at her waist fluttering whenever she kisses a much taller partner; like they’re thing to help her reach#//Love the idea of them being a little sensitive to the touch; so she really makes a point to keep people from touching them#//Not even really in a suggestive way for the most part; it’s kinda like how cats don’t like being touched on the pads of their paws#//Nerve receptors and all that—however she will give her partner leeway; bc she knows they wouldn’t hurt her#//Plus she thinks they might like seeing her flustered—she might find it embarrassing; but if THEY like it#//She doesn’t mind letting them have their fill of fun; she rlly Likes their smirks & chuckles#//If they get a real kick out of seeing her flustered; she gets a kick out of seeing THEM smug#//Thinks it’s sooo attractive#//Whoops veered a little lol#//If her partner likes her wings; she would actually tend to let them unfurl and flutter more for them to see and touch#//She Knows how to show off and would utterly THRIVE under their attention; esp any admiration/compliments to her wings#//she takes V good care of them; after all. Also; partners who volunteer to help her preen them? she would ADORE them#hc; sunday#//Bc he too has that same habit with his wings. All the above. Basically applies EXCEPT#//Sunday is even MORE particular about touch on his wings; HATES having them mussed up even the slightest bit#//Only a VERY trusted partner is allowed to touch them (or him at ALL); anybody else might trigger him a bit#//He’ll keep himself together until he’s out of sight; then immediately lose his gottdam mind & need a Moment#//When he DOES allow touch; he gets a little overwhelmed with it. Mans is SO touch starved#//But at the same time; can’t stomach it half the time. And don’t get me started on how Weak he is for cocky partners#//Drives him NUTS; both in terms of being attracted to them but also Annoyed with them lmao#//he is just as proud of his wings as his sister is; perhaps even MORE so#//Might posture and show them off unprompted the Instant he knows his partner likes them (when one-on-one)#//You can practically see him GLOWING at any compliments he gets over them and how neat his feathers are; how glossy and lovely#//Preening; though: he is EXTREMELY particular abt it. He never trusts anyone outside himself but Robin to do it (bc she has them too)#//His partner has to be VERY close & trusted to even be allowed to SEE him preening; much less be allowed to do it FOR him#//He’s so v particular abt his presentation; he will NOT want them to see him (&his wings) anything but perfect#//Which is why he’s got such mixed feelings abt his partner teasing & riling him up; losing that control/composure over himself#//For them to have him like that; SEE him that flustered & Vulnerable—it leaves him quite Uneasy; but it is also undeniably Exciting
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blockofbones · 5 months
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My biggest gripe with Nancy Wheeler is that the shitty way she treats people, her overinflated ego, and her selfishness are all forgiven because she falls under the 'badass final girl' trope.
Yeah, she can shoot shit. Doesn't mean she doesn't treat people like shit on a somewhat routine basis and look down on almost everyone around her.
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