#our world book day celebration

[mostlysignssomeportents]

How lock-in hurts design

Berliners: Otherland has added a second date (Jan 28) for my book-talk after the first one sold out - book now!

If you've ever read about design, you've probably encountered the idea of "paving the desire path." A "desire path" is an erosion path created by people departing from the official walkway and taking their own route. The story goes that smart campus planners don't fight the desire paths laid down by students; they pave them, formalizing the route that their constituents have voted for with their feet.

Desire paths aren't always great (Wikipedia notes that "desire paths sometimes cut through sensitive habitats and exclusion zones, threatening wildlife and park security"), but in the context of design, a desire path is a way that users communicate with designers, creating a feedback loop between those two groups. The designers make a product, the users use it in ways that surprise the designer, and the designer integrates all that into a new revision of the product.

This method is widely heralded as a means of "co-innovating" between users and companies. Designers who practice the method are lauded for their humility, their willingness to learn from their users. Tech history is strewn with examples of successful paved desire-paths.

Take John Deere. While today the company is notorious for its war on its customers (via its opposition to right to repair), Deere was once a leader in co-innovation, dispatching roving field engineers to visit farms and learn how farmers had modified their tractors. The best of these modifications would then be worked into the next round of tractor designs, in a virtuous cycle:

https://securityledger.com/2019/03/opinion-my-grandfathers-john-deere-would-support-our-right-to-repair/

But this pattern is even more pronounced in the digital world, because it's much easier to update a digital service than it is to update all the tractors in the field, especially if that service is cloud-based, meaning you can modify the back-end everyone is instantly updated. The most celebrated example of this co-creation is Twitter, whose users created a host of its core features.

Retweets, for example, were a user creation. Users who saw something they liked on the service would type "RT" and paste the text and the link into a new tweet composition window. Same for quote-tweets: users copied the URL for a tweet and pasted it in below their own commentary. Twitter designers observed this user innovation and formalized it, turning it into part of Twitter's core feature-set.

Companies are obsessed with discovering digital desire paths. They pay fortunes for analytics software to produce maps of how their users interact with their services, run focus groups, even embed sneaky screen-recording software into their web-pages:

https://www.wired.com/story/the-dark-side-of-replay-sessions-that-record-your-every-move-online/

This relentless surveillance of users is pursued in the name of making things better for them: let us spy on you and we'll figure out where your pain-points and friction are coming from, and remove those. We all win!

But this impulse is a world apart from the humility and respect implied by co-innovation. The constant, nonconsensual observation of users has more to do with controlling users than learning from them.

That is, after all, the ethos of modern technology: the more control a company can exert over its users ,the more value it can transfer from those users to its shareholders. That's the key to enshittification, the ubiquitous platform decay that has degraded virtually all the technology we use, making it worse every day:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/19/twiddler/

When you are seeking to control users, the desire paths they create are all too frequently a means to wrestling control back from you. Take advertising: every time a service makes its ads more obnoxious and invasive, it creates an incentive for its users to search for "how do I install an ad-blocker":

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/07/adblocking-how-about-nah

More than half of all web-users have installed ad-blockers. It's the largest consumer boycott in human history:

https://doc.searls.com/2023/11/11/how-is-the-worlds-biggest-boycott-doing/

But zero app users have installed ad-blockers, because reverse-engineering an app requires that you bypass its encryption, triggering liability under Section 1201 of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act. This law provides for a $500,000 fine and a 5-year prison sentence for "circumvention" of access controls:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/12/youre-holding-it-wrong/#if-dishwashers-were-iphones

Beyond that, modifying an app creates liability under copyright, trademark, patent, trade secrets, noncompete, nondisclosure and so on. It's what Jay Freeman calls "felony contempt of business model":

https://locusmag.com/2020/09/cory-doctorow-ip/

This is why services are so horny to drive you to install their app rather using their websites: they are trying to get you to do something that, given your druthers, you would prefer not to do. They want to force you to exit through the gift shop, you want to carve a desire path straight to the parking lot. Apps let them mobilize the law to literally criminalize those desire paths.

An app is just a web-page wrapped in enough IP to make it a felony to block ads in it (or do anything else that wrestles value back from a company). Apps are web-pages where everything not forbidden is mandatory.

Seen in this light, an app is a way to wage war on desire paths, to abandon the cooperative model for co-innovation in favor of the adversarial model of user control and extraction.

Corporate apologists like to claim that the proliferation of apps proves that users like them. Neoliberal economists love the idea that business as usual represents a "revealed preference." This is an intellectually unserious tautology: "you do this, so you must like it":

https://boingboing.net/2024/01/22/hp-ceo-says-customers-are-a-bad-investment-unless-they-can-be-made-to-buy-companys-drm-ink-cartridges.html

Calling an action where no alternatives are permissible a "preference" or a "choice" is a cheap trick – especially when considered against the "preferences" that reveal themselves when a real choice is possible. Take commercial surveillance: when Apple gave Ios users a choice about being spied on – a one-click opt of of app-based surveillance – 96% of users choice no spying:

https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2021/05/96-of-us-users-opt-out-of-app-tracking-in-ios-14-5-analytics-find/

But then Apple started spying on those very same users that had opted out of spying by Facebook and other Apple competitors:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/14/luxury-surveillance/#liar-liar

Neoclassical economists aren't just obsessed with revealed preferences – they also love to bandy about the idea of "moral hazard": economic arrangements that tempt people to be dishonest. This is typically applied to the public ("consumers" in the contemptuous parlance of econospeak). But apps are pure moral hazard – for corporations. The ability to prohibit desire paths – and literally imprison rivals who help your users thwart those prohibitions – is too tempting for companies to resist.

The fact that the majority of web users block ads reveals a strong preference for not being spied on ("users just want relevant ads" is such an obvious lie that doesn't merit any serious discussion):

https://www.iccl.ie/news/82-of-the-irish-public-wants-big-techs-toxic-algorithms-switched-off/

Giant companies attained their scale by learning from their users, not by thwarting them. The person using technology always knows something about what they need to do and how they want to do it that the designers can never anticipate. This is especially true of people who are unlike those designers – people who live on the other side of the world, or the other side of the economic divide, or whose bodies don't work the way that the designers' bodies do:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/20/benevolent-dictators/#felony-contempt-of-business-model

Apps – and other technologies that are locked down so their users can be locked in – are the height of technological arrogance. They embody a belief that users are to be told, not heard. If a user wants to do something that the designer didn't anticipate, that's the user's fault:

https://www.wired.com/2010/06/iphone-4-holding-it-wrong/

Corporate enthusiasm for prohibiting you from reconfiguring the tools you use to suit your needs is a declaration of the end of history. "Sure," John Deere execs say, "we once learned from farmers by observing how they modified their tractors. But today's farmers are so much stupider and we are so much smarter that we have nothing to learn from them anymore."

Spying on your users to control them is a poor substitute asking your users their permission to learn from them. Without technological self-determination, preferences can't be revealed. Without the right to seize the means of computation, the desire paths never emerge, leaving designers in the dark about what users really want.

Our policymakers swear loyalty to "innovation" but when corporations ask for the right to decide who can innovate and how, they fall all over themselves to create laws that let companies punish users for the crime of contempt of business-model.

I'm Kickstarting the audiobook for The Bezzle, the sequel to Red Team Blues, narrated by @wilwheaton! You can pre-order the audiobook and ebook, DRM free, as well as the hardcover, signed or unsigned. There's also bundles with Red Team Blues in ebook, audio or paperback.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/24/everything-not-mandatory/#is-prohibited

Image: Belem (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Desire_path_%2819811581366%29.jpg

CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en

[5sospenguinqueen]

American Boy | Logan Sargeant x Celeb! Reader

Summary: When Logan finds out this his celebrity crush’s celebrity crush is HIM!! He freaks out. Thankfully, the internet (and Oscar) manage to do most of the work for him. 

Warnings: Swearing. Fluff

Requested: No. I just love Logan Sargeant

I put an embarrassing amount of effort into this one, especially that letter. 2024 season

F1 Masterlist

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

user1 girlies, who is this logan sargeant and how is he managing to make our girl smile like that 

→ user2 he’s an f1 driver. yn grew up watching f1 and is still a huge fan of it

→ user3 a vroom vroom guy! the shame 

user4 i can’t believe these came out in the same week??? 

→ user5 the universe is aligning 

user6 okay but i don’t think any of us would recover from them dating. they’re both so hot  liked by yn_official_ln

→ user7 omg omg omg she liked the tweet

→ user8 @/logansargeant look at this!! 

user9 okay but i really hope that somebody showed yn that episode of team torque because she loves f1 and i feel she would die

→ user10 babe, if logan is her celeb crush, what makes you think she hasn’t watched it herself? liked by yn_official_ln

user11 can we all take a moment to admire how calm yn was in her interview though. she admitted she’s had a crush on a guy since she was like 17 and didn’t even blush

user12 okay but yn’s liked tweets section is going to send logan into cardiac arrest

user13 @/logansargeant shoot your shot, dude! 

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

yn_official_ln just posted

liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri and others

yn_official_ln vroom vroom what an exciting day. a huge thank you to mclaren for inviting me into their garage. i can’t put into words how amazing it was to be inside an f1 garage, and the whole team were warm and welcoming.  (i’m still convinced these two are dating though???)

1,778 comments

user1 someone check on logan please? is he still alive?

→ user2 no because the way he just stopped dead in the middle of the paddock when he spotted her walking with oscar and lando

landonorris right, i’ve told you like 10x now. we are NOT a couple. he just looks at me that way 

→ oscarpiastri whoa, don’t act like you’ve not been caught giving me the goo goo eyes too

→ landonorris goo goo eyes? who taught you that!

→ yn_official_ln that would’ve been me when i was showing him the photo i took of you looking at him with goo goo eyes

→ landonorris i take it back. i don’t want you to come again next weekend

→ yn_official_ln but i already booked my ticket :( 

→ user3 i fear logan may have passed away

 williamsracing perhaps we could poach you into our garage next time? 

→ user4 logan ghost wrote this

→ yn_official_ln would i get an ls2 cap to go with it?

→ logansargeant you can have mine liked by yn_official_ln

→ user5 they interacted! 

→ alex_albon i’m hoping he won’t see this because it’s hidden within comments but logan won’t stop giggling at his phone 

danielricciardo it was so great to meet you. i didn’t know it was possible for one person to do so many different voices 

→ yn_official_ln give me time to watch some interviews and i bet i can do you by silverstone

→ danielricciardo i don’t think logan would appreciate that

→ yn_official_ln omg! no! not in that way! i think i’ve made it clear that aussie drivers aren’t my type 

→ arthur_leclerc what about monegasque?

→ yn_official_ln not american, not for me liked by logansargeant

→ user6 i love how bold she is! logan, go for it! She has literally announced to the entire world on multiple occasions that she’s into you 

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

yn_official_ln just posted a new story

logansargeant just posted a new story

oscarpiastri just posted a new story

yn_official_ln just posted

liked by charles_leclerc, logansargeant and others

yn_official_ln exciting things coming soon 

1,650 comments

alex_albon i thought we were friends. you can tell me right? new movie? new album?

→ yn_official_ln as my friend, i can tell you that you already know

→ user7 new boyfriend

georgerussell63 what’s all this then

→ landonorris george admitting he’s not cool enough to be included in the inner circle 

→ yn_official_ln don’t pick on him. there’s pics of him looking like amelia airheart on the internet, he’s suffered enough

→ georgerussell63 @/logansargeant why do you like this one

charles_leclerc the news is that she’s an ambassador for lec ice cream

→ yn_official_ln deal but only if i can meet leo

user8 okay but all the f1 drivers being here makes me think something

→ user9 she’s been in the paddock and went to a few garages. i think she’s made friends with a lot of them

williamsracing just checking that we’re still on for sunday?

→ yn_official_ln like i would miss the british gp

→ lilymhe you’re going to be in silverstone? omg, i’m freaking out. alex, why didn’t you tell me! 

→ alex_albon yeah, she’s racing instead of me liked by logansargeant

user10 miss rabbit has fainted

francisca.cgomes i was not familiar with your game. i need you to kiss ME like that 

→ pierregasly pardon? you better not come anywhere near alpine on sunday 

→ alex_albon like logan would let her leave williams

user11 logan liking but not commenting? do we think he’s actually died upon seeing that yn has a boyfriend?

→ user12 hear me out. what if he’s the boyfriend

→ user13 babe, i think you’re as delusional as he was for thinking he had a chance. nobody has a shot with their celeb crush, even if you’re semi-famous yourself

→ yn_official_ln wait, so i don’t have a shot with my celeb crush either?

→ oscarpiastri i think your celeb crush would let you step on him if you asked 

→ user14 i love that the grid are exposing logan being down bad for our girl 

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

logansargeant just posted

liked by jensonbutton, arthur_leclerc and others

logansargeant silverstone complete. amazing support this weekend. and an amazing effort from the team

995 comments

user1 where can i get that jumper

→ yn_official_ln etsy x

→ user2 um, ma’am are you admitting that’s your jumper?

user3 i’m sorry but did anyone else see logan kissing someone who looked an awful lot like yn after he realised he was almost in the points???

→ user4 and we all know she was in the garage that weekend 

→ user5 fans caught video footage of her hugging him, and he just folded into her in shock, his helmet was still on and everything 

alex_albon i don’t think this counts as a soft launch after you were caught on camera in front of millions

→ logansargeant i’m trying my best, okay! 

→ yn_official_ln you’re doing amazing baby 

→ user6 miss yn, are you even trying to hide it

→ user7 she kissed him on live tv, i’m gonna go with no

→ yn_official_ln have you seen his face? you would too

→ logansargeant ☺️

lilymhe thank you for bringing my new best friend to silverstone

→ logansargeant you can’t have her

→ yn_official_ln i only came for you @/lilymhe

→ lilymhe you, me, run away into the sunset together?

→ alex_albon whoa, hold on a second

oscarpiastri mate please tell me you’re not attempting to soft launch

→ logansargeant it was the plan but somebody ignored the plan

→ yn_official_ln oops? it’s not my fault you’re too cute to ignore

yn_official_ln just posted

liked by oscarpiastri, williamsracing and others

yn_official_ln somehow i managed to get a date with THE logan sargeant. i think i have ultimate rizz

1,839 comments

oscarpiastri no, you both just have a really good friend. you’re welcome

→ yn_official_ln whoa, i can get bitches on my own

→ logansargeant i can’t so thank you, oscar

→ mclaren i think you mean, thank you mclaren. we sent the letter 

logansargeant babe, you got more than a date

→ yn_official_ln you’re right. i’ve had six months worth <3

→ logansargeant and i look forward to even more

landonorris and it was all too much for little logan sargeant 

→ landonorris mate, why do your legs look so long

→ logansargeant @/yn_official_ln this is why i told you not to post that one 

→ yn_official_ln but you look so baby girl 

→ landonorris ha! 

alex_albon stop trying to make him look good at sports. i kicked his ass at table tennis

→ yn_official_ln yeah and i kicked yours. and stole your girl

→ lilymhe you tell him, boo! 

→ user8 yn really said don’t insult my princess

→ logansargeant she just called me her beautiful princess so thanks for that 

user9 when they say people died, and it’s a pic of logan sargeant kissing his celeb crush. i am people

→ yn_official_ln i also died because do you see how passionate this man is

→ user10 no need to rub it in (i love you)

danielricciardo i see a gentleman who respects a good hat

→ yn_official_ln he’s letting me live out my cowboy fantasies 

→ danielricciardo you know what they say, save a horse

→ yn_official_ln yeehaw!

→ logansargeant is this why pr are calling me?

Tag list

@rosecentury @peachiicherries

[shitpostingkats]

An Asexual's love letter to Good Omens 2

There's an infamous quote by Neil Gaiman going around, regarding the general vibe of season 2, and many people (I believe humorously) yelling that it could not be further from the truth. Particularly in the last episode, where that happens.

I disagree.

The final episode of season 2 was deeply, deeply comforting to me. 

I am asexual. Have been my whole life. Even before I had the words to describe what that was, child-me had this feeling in their gut of being an outlier, that everyone was exaggerating, or in on some joke, that I wasn’t privy to. Because I was bombarded on all sides by shows and movies and books, telling the same story of love, again, and again, and AGAIN. It’s drilled into our brains with the same fervor as the days of the week, or the quadratic formula. Meet-cute -> misunderstanding ->declaration of feelings ->kiss. More or less steps can be added to account for runtime or complexity of narrative, but that’s the basic structure that a relationship follows. It MUST be, because that’s the formula every character who's ever been in a story goes through, often times when it even feels like an add-on, like it’s only there because this is a story, there HAS to be a romance. And it has to follow the steps.

For a long time, I felt love wasn’t for me, because if there’s only one way to be in love, I sure as hell wasn’t feeling it. 

Instead, the relationship I ended up in looked a lot like what Beezlebub and Gabriel go through. Meeting someone routinely until it starts to feel comfortable. Getting to know them and slowly growing more attached. Eating chips and listening to music.

We like to joke whenever someone asks us how long we’ve been together, because the answer is we just sort of slowly fell into it, and we honestly don’t know when the line got blurred between ‘friends’ and ‘partners’. And, at least for me, a good deal of that confusion, that hesitancy to label, came from the fact that what I was feeling, what we were, couldn’t be love. It couldn’t be romantic. 

We were just quiet and gentle.

And that wasn’t love.

Because it was slow, because it wasn’t physical, because there was no structure aside from consistency and companionship. Because it didn’t follow the Rules.

Then I found myself in stories, and it felt like a revelation.

Beelzebub and Gabriel aren’t the first time I’ve seen a love like I feel represented in a narrative, but it never stops feeling special. And I don’t know if I’ll ever stop celebrating it.

Throughout the sequence in the pub, I kept expecting them to “confirm” Gabriel and Beelzebub. A dramatic line, a kiss, a whatever. That’s what I’ve been taught to expect, after all, that’s the only way a relationship is “real”. Of course, this doesn't mean Crowley and Aziraphale sharing a dramatic kiss is wrong, or that I can’t see why it resonated with so many people, but for me. Those moments in the pub are worth so much more.The last scene might have been literally showstopping, but those handful of moments between the duke of hell and an archangel were the beating heart of the season for me. A simple love story in four scenes. No kisses. No ‘I love you’s. Not even any definition of what. The love Gabriel and Beelzebub have is strong enough for them to both want to shatter their worlds and flee their lives and it's just. 

It's just that. 

Two people in a pub, playing the other's favorite song, giving a little gift, buying a packet of crisps. 

That sequence means far more to me than any kiss ever could.

Love isn’t only real when it's hot and sudden and ephemeral, it can also be

Quiet.

And gentle.

And still romantic.

Still real.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

OKAY Y’ALL WERE RIGHT 😭

***Massive spoilers for the ending of Lost in the Book with Nightmare Before Christmas!!***

… So, as I expected, everyone gets amnesia after they leave the book.

BUT THEN THEY DROP THE BOMB THAT SKULLY WAS A FORMER NRC GRADUATE??????? NO OTHER EXPLANATION????? (Pictures of him are very rare to come by though.) It’s said he didn’t like the spotlight very much, even though he was lauded as the King of Halloween and was integral the foundation of the holiday.

It’s not super specific how long ago Skully went to school, but it was “hundreds”of years, back when Halloween was a minor holiday. He apparently graduated and then travelled the world to share the holiday with others; Halloween is his legacy.

To explain it a little better, Skully was sucked into the book as a fresh 16 year old. After the book spat him back up in his original time (again, hundreds of years ago, before Crowley even became headmaster), he was inspired by his encounter with the NRC students to spread the joy of Halloween as a holiday to spend with your friends. So… the reason why modern day Halloween is so grand is because Skully met the NRC students… They literally made history??? 😭

That’s why this guy was clinging to past traditions so much 💀 His love for Halloween might have grounded and trapped his spirit as a ghost?? Or maybe he has regrets that he wasn’t able to celebrate it with his loved ones??

xbjssbuwjswkw Aw, Skully (the ghost?) visits us at NRC and though we can’t see him we feel him kissing the back of our hand 😂 Some things never change, I guess…

Anyway!! I have many more comments that I’ll get out in a more detailed post with all my thoughts on this event (and that open-ended “The End…?”). I have a ton of notes to go through ^^ 💦

[livinginshambles]

You're unbelievable (derogatory) | James Potter

Pairing: James Potter x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 5.3k

Summary: You're best friends with James, but since his new relationship with Lily, you find yourself standing on the side more often than not.

Your friendship with James breaks when he has to choose between you or Lily, and it's only after the damage is done that he realizes the consequences of his actions.

Note: Lily's kind of a not cool in this fic. Not proofread, mistakes (grammar and maybe continuity because I rewrote the middle from memory) Time lines are wrong, howarts is endless.

_______________________

“James Potter, you’re unbelievable!” You exclaimed, and if not for the widest grin ever plastered on you face, those words could hold an entirely different meaning. You gave James a tight side hug while you clutched your precious gift to your chest.

“Well, you better believe it darling,” Sirius appeared on your left. “Prongs made us stand in line for that signed copy for eight hours. EIGHT HOURS,” he complained and shook James back and forth by his shirt collar.

“And not to mention, he woke us up at 2 o’clock in the morning for that,” Peter happily reminded him, and Sirius wailed at the memory and dramatically dropped to his knees. You stumbled back and James was quick to hold you steadily.

“Oh, quit it with the theatrics,” Remus mused, and he pulled Sirius up from the floor where he had slouched his entire weight against your legs. “It wasn’t that bad.”

Sirius huffed. “For you maybe. Because you secretly wanted to get your book signed too,” he accused Remus. Remus sheepishly shrugged.

James pressed a kiss to your temple, and you melted inside. “Happy birthday, love,” he whispered with a fond smile, and you bashfully looked away.

“Thanks,” you muttered awkwardly. Godric, you despised the attention that birthdays bring along.

“On that note, I’m heading towards the library,” you excused yourself. “But thank you guys so much for getting that book for me, I love you guys so much,” you said and blew them a kiss as you stepped backwards to the door.

“Hold on,” James frowned. “We’re not celebrating?”

“Uh, no I have to work on our Potions assignment.”

“Oh. Well, let me walk you to the library, yeah?” James offered, but you had an inkling feeling that it wasn’t really a question.

You laughed and pulled a face at him. “I can’t stop you anyways, can I? You’re an absolute menace, Potter.”

“I’m just trying to spend the day together.” James wrapped an arm around you and guided you towards the door. 

“You know, the day on which the world has been blessed with your birth. And just as it was always meant to be, might I add, because look at where this led, such a perfectly beautiful day to celebrate.” He winked.

“Today is a wonderful day,” you hummed in agreement. “But you know I was supposed to be born late April, not March. So not really ‘as it was always meant to be’ at all,” you pointed out.

James rolled his eyes. “Uh, yes it was. Otherwise, we would’ve never met at the hospital and become bestest friends.”

“That’s not even correct gramm-”

“Besides, didn’t see you much today,” James unbotherdly continued.

You shook your head in amusement. “Come along then,” you pretended to relent in a joking manner. James was already pulling you along anyway.

You looked back at the rest of the marauders. “You guys also coming?”

You got an unenthusiastic hum from Peter and nothing from Remus, who was too deep in his book to have heard you. You looked at Sirius.

“Darling, I love you, but that’s six flights of stairs,” Sirius laughed, and he settled in on the sofa.

You gasped in fake horror. “So, is that the limit of your love for me?” You sniffed and pretended to wipe away a tear. “I guess-, I guess that’s it then. We’re just not meant to be,” you sighed.

“I know, darling. And I’m sorry. Just know, it’s not you, it’s me,” Sirius solemnly agreed.

You opened your mouth to continue your devastating-sad-ending-love-story when James, who had felt strangely annoyed at Sirius, impatiently grabbed your hand and pulled you out the door.

You enjoyed the feeling of walking hand in hand with James, even though it was short-lived. He let go of your hand as soon as he realized he was still holding it, and you two walked next to each other in a comfortable silence. Again, short-lived.

“I swear, one of these days, Lily might give me a chance. She smiled at me yesterday after supper, you know.” James happily bragged, eyes in a dreamy haze, no doubt imagining Lily.

You peered up at him and quietly admired his blissed look. It may never be directed towards you but seeing him so happy really made you glad and all warm inside.

Not that you’d ever let him know that.

Instead, you snorted at his words, tiptoed, and slung an arm across his broad shoulders. “In your dreams, maybe,” you sassed at him. James wanted to huff at your reply, but at your struggle to reach his other shoulder, he couldn’t help but laugh wholeheartedly, and he wrapped his arms around your shoulder instead.

“You’ve got to stop growing, James,” you protested and ducked out from under his arm.

“Quite the opposite actually, perhaps you should start,” he mocked you and you reached out to shove him but he put a step back out of the way fluently and then smoothly pulled back his shoulder just in time when you tried to shove him again. “So predictable,” he tsked. You opted to stick out your tongue instead.

“So,” James started. You hummed in reply. “Mum’s asking if you’re spending Easter with us again,” he casually mentioned.

“Oh really, Euphemia is asking me huh,” you teased him.

James looked away embarrassedly.

“Hm, not sure,” you shrugged nonchalantly. “Think I’m gonna be sort of preoccupied with my cousins from Ireland,” you looked at him through the corner of your eyes and caught his disappointed expression. A grin grew on your face like that of a Cheshire cat and you nudged him again.

“Oh, come on James, I’m kidding, you know. I’ve literally never not spent Easter with you. Besides, I live right across the street, James. I can literally come over any time, even if my cousins visit.”

“Yeah, but I meant like stay over at my house for the whole holiday,” James pouted. You glanced at him and smiled fondly. “Well, again; I live right across the street. So I guess I can also just go and visit my cousins at my house any time.”

You finally reached the bottom of the staircases and stopped mid-step. “Bloody hell, I forgot my books.”

You shot James a sheepish smile. “Sorry, I just have to go back up real quick, but it won’t be long at all-.”

“I’m right behind you, love.”

“You can’t be serious,” you gaped at him.

James was beaming. Sirius and Remus’ jaws were slacked on the floor and Peter frowned as if he was trying to comprehend James’ statement.

“She agreed to a date!?” Sirius shrieked out. “But-,” Sirius stammered and he let his eyes fall onto you for a split second. It was very quiet for a moment while all of you processed this news.

“Well, I’ll be damned, Prongs,” you grinned up at him. “Not such a far-fetched idea after all.” You smiled encouragingly at him and he shot you a grateful look.

“Congrats,” you nudged him, and that seemed to break the rest of the marauders out of it, all congratulating and offering date ideas.

You zoned out for a moment. A bitter-sweet taste in your mouth. You we’re thrilled for James. You knew how much she meant to him. But that little piece of hope that you had unconsciously clung onto, made the news tough to take.

Regardless, you were just happy to have James in your life. He was your best friend, and you would support him, no matter what. Because you knew he’d do the same for you.

“When’s the date?” you curiously asked.

James scratched his head. “Uh, next week, Friday night.”

“Wait, Friday when you were going to take me to see the blue crescent moon?” you deadpanned.

“I’ll take you to the next one, I promise,” James solemnly swore and he put his hand on his heart.

You huffed in disappointment but quickly turned around to face Remus with a sweet smile. “Remus, my best friend,” you started, and instantly got pulled back by James who wore a pout on his face.

“Wait, it was supposed to be a you and me thing,” he whined while he tugged you back into his side. You stuck your tongue out and ruffled his hair.

“You’re busy, and the next blue moon is going to be a full moon, so we’ll be with Remus,” you pointed out. “And after that, it’ll be another two years until the next.” Then you skipped back over to Remus.

James hummed in thought. He knew you were right. “Fine,” he reluctantly said. “But I’m taking you to watch the passing comet next month,” he bargained.

You stuck out your hand with a laugh. “Deal,” you grinned.

“It’s a promise,” James confirmed.

It became clear to you that you might have overestimated your own importance to James after he and Lily officially started dating.

Your eyes were searching for James, and you decided to confront him when you spotted him.

“James!” You ran to catch up to him. You smiled at Lily with a small wave. “Lily,” you acknowledged her. “Can I borrow him for a moment?” You asked her. She shrugged and waved her hand in a discarding manner, “of course.”

“Hey uh, you didn’t show up yesterday, just checking in?” you asked James in concern when Lily was out of reach.

James mind blanked for a moment. He was racking his brain about ‘yesterday’ and his eyes grew wide when realization hit him. “Bloody hell, I completely forgot!” He exclaimed.

“Yeah,” you laughed, relieved that he was alright and had just forgotten about it.

“Well you didn’t show up in the astronomy tower so I tried looking for you, but I couldn’t find you. I asked Sirius for the map, but can you believe it? He said he’d lost it.”

You chuckled when you recalled his apologetic expression and completely missed the way James shut his eyes and pinched his nose in guilt.

“I’m so sorry,” James said. He pulled you into a hug.

“Eh, don’t worry about it, Sirius joined me to watch the comet pass by. Wasn’t that impressive, but it did look like a falling star so I guess I made a wish, and-”

“Can have him back now?” Lily’s voice came from behind him, and he quickly released you. “Yeah, of course,” you rushed to say, but she had already grabbed him by the arm and led him away.

James looked back at you and mouthed a ‘sorry’ at you. You shook your head dismissively and raised your thumbs up.

It was only during the next missed hangout, two weeks later, that you found out he forgot because he’d been with Lily instead.

Peter had seen you off to find James, and had watched you return three hours later, a sad look on your face.

“Not again,” he’d groaned and slipped up. You couldn’t be angry at James because you realized that he was just putting effort into his new relationship. Peter had hugged you and you two had spent the evening sneaking into the art room to paint each other.

Peter was surprisingly a splendid artist and you had put the painting that he painted of yourself against the wall on the floor next to your bed, and gave Peter the one you painted of him.

“Damn, Peter,” James nodded at the canvas. “You painted that?”

“Huh? Oh,” Peter was getting dressed and pulled his sweater over his head. He looked from the painting to James. “Uh, Y/N did,” he beamed. “It looks good right?”

“You guys painted..?”

“Yeah, cause you didn’t show up again yesterday,” Peter casually mentioned. “You know, she was-“ He didn’t get to finish his sentence, because James had already sprinted out of the room to find you to apologize.

But as usual, James thought it had to be a grand gesture.

Flowers! Lily liked flowers. Girls like flowers, perfect. The idea popped up in his head, and he went to work to cover your entire dorm and bed with flowers.

It seemed like a perfect idea.

Until it evidently wasn’t. 

“Shit, I’m so sorry, it slipped my mind,” James apologized for the thousandth time as he sat by at the side of the hospital bed with the rest of the marauders. They shared a look with each other.

“Well, I bet you’ll never forget about my severe flower allergy ever again now,” you joked in attempt to console him. Your face was swollen and your eyes were bloodshot.

You smiled at James and tried to push back the hurt you felt at the fact that he forgot about something as important as that.

“I’ll make it up to you,” James quickly promised with a grimace.

“Do you get that same sense of déjà vu or is it just me,” Sirius remarked from the other side of the bed.

“No, I get it too,” Peter agreed almost too quickly.

James frowned at his friends for the little jab. They knew he didn’t do it on purpose right? He looked at Remus for support.

“Better be one hell of an idea,” was all he said.

“Oh come on,” you attempted to kick Sirius weakly with your leg but failed because your legs were still half paralyzed.

“Stop giving him such a hard time,” you started. James shot you a relieved look.

“He’s already feeling shit for almost killing me,” you grinned and James groaned and dropped his head on the side of your bed. You moved your arm with some effort and let your fingers stroke through his hair.

“I’ll be the best best-friend there is, starting from right now. I’ve got so many ideas for Easter holiday and it includes your favorite chocolate,” he promised in a muffled voice.

 

Whatever you imagined his ideas for activities during the Easter holiday included, it wasn’t with Lily in the picture. Yet here you were, sitting across of her at the dinner table.

They were both deeply engrossed in each other and you and Fleamont shared a look.

“How’s your year been, sweetheart?” Fleamont asked and he looked at you over his glasses. You smiled at him, relieved.

“It was great so far, I mean, despite being bedridden for two weeks, but the guys have been great,” you jumped to talk about your adventures.

“I went to watch the blue crescent moon with Remus, and the comet with Sirius. And I’ve painted with Peter! I’ve got to say, he’s painted me in a flattering light,” you rambled on passionately.

“Oh, and we’ve started a study group thing together, it’s basically just Remus and I trying to help Sirius and Peter though,” you lightheartedly joked.

“We’ve played some harmless pranks too, like turning every toad into a cat and every cat into a toad, it was utter chaos!” You shared and at his disapproving look and focus on James, you quickly intervened. “Don’t worry, James didn’t do anything, he’s been good,” you joked.

You missed Fleamont’s raised eyebrows.

“I’ve been swimming in the lake with the boys and pranked Remus and Peter with Sirius and pretended to be merpeople, you should’ve heard their screams!”

Your eyes were gleaming at this point as you relived your happiest moments so far. “Well, until Remus cast a spell on Sirius that turned him into a slug of course.”

“So when the four of us went to Hogsmeade…” You continued to ramble on and failed to notice how James’ eyes subconsciously trailed over to you every now and then, listening in on the conversation and realizing his name never fell once.

Lily noticed his divided attention and was unsurprisingly and rather justifiably annoyed at James.

She voiced out her concerns to James that very night during which you had excused yourself and gone home across the street.

You didn’t want to third wheel and Godric forbid should you share a room with Lily.  She hated your guts as it was and you didn’t feel like being smothered in your sleep.

When you had offered to go back home, you had sort of hoped he would say something along the lines of “No, please stay” and instead were met with a “Yeah, that’s probably for the best”.

And now, all he could wish for was chilling on his bed with you next to him while he was being chastised by Lily. His eyes glanced up and he stared at the enchanted bedroom ceiling full of stars, Lily’s voice long gone from his mind.

“Are you even listening to me?” She waved her hand in front of his face and he fought the urge to pull an annoyed face at her.

At his lack of response though, she repeated herself. “I’m your girlfriend. I thought you wanted this?”

James let her words sink in for a moment. She was all he ever wanted. And it was so so different from what he’d imagined it would be like.

Of course, he wasn’t planning on breaking up or anything, he didn’t want to be that douchebag that was only in it for the chase after all. And he hoped somehow that those feelings would return sometime.

She was everything he wanted. He just wished she’d be more interested in his friends, less disapproving of his pranks, or more proud of his achievements at Quidditch.

He would appreciate it if she were just a little bit more patient with him, and shared a little bit of his humour.

He just wanted her to be more open and enthusiastic about their relationship and himself.

He wanted her to be a little more like you-

He reeled back from that revelation. Oh.

Oh no. That would ruin his friendship.

“-and you know what, you can’t have both, James,” Lily continued and he snapped out of his thoughts.

“I can’t be your girlfriend if she’s in the picture. So choose. It’s me or her.”

James stared at her in surprise and then walked out of his room without another word to her.

He looked out the window at the real starry night sky. It seemed to him that he’d lose you regardless. But maybe, he’d be happy with Lily. She was all that matters, he convinced himself.

“Don’t you see how wrong it is that she’s making you choose,” you asked him incredulously, but your eyes looked at him pleadingly. James forced himself to look back at you and shook his head.

“No, she’s-, she’s right,” he mumbled, and you staggered back at that. “I mean, you’re a girl, you know?” You raised your eyebrows in an unimpressed manner. “Astute observation.” You dryly remarked.

“And everyone assumes things about us, so please, you have to understand that this isn’t fun for Lily either,” James tried. “I just can’t be friends with you and be in a relationship with Lily at the same time.”

You opened your mouth to protest, but he cut you off.

“I can’t,” he urged. “And between you or her, I choose her. She’s my girlfriend,” he reasoned.

“And I’m your best friend since we were born,” you stubbornly retorted.

James looked at you beggingly, hoping that you’ll understand his predicament and that you’d make it easy on him. At the squint of your eyes and the deepening frown on your face, he gulped. “Please. I’m really sorry, but I have to choose her,” he finished weakly, doubling down on his decision.

Realizing that he wasn’t joking, it felt like he might as well have punched you in the gut. Your stubborn look flickered to hurt and then morphed into an ice-cold front of indifference.

You took a deep breath and collected yourself. You stared at him up and down, not recognizing your best friend in him anymore.

“You’re unbelievable,” you shook your head at him, and your voice was devoid of any emotion. With no other words to address the situation, you pushed past him roughly.

Months passed by and the summer vacation started. Then it ended and Hogwarts began again. All without a word from James. He had stopped spending much time with the marauders, mostly busy with walking after Lily.

Sometimes he would glance at you when she wasn’t watching, and he’d feel so lonely.

He waited for you during the vacation, but you never went to yourr house across his. Instead you spent your time with your cousins in Ireland.

When he made his way towards the platform on September 1st,  he felt weird. First of all, he was slightly reluctant to go. He realized that he had thoroughly enjoyed his holiday without Lily.

But secondly, and perhaps most importantly; This was the first time ever that he went to the Hogwarts Express by himself, without you by his side, and an epiphany cleared his mind. Everything was so wrong.

 

You eyed him up and down. With lack of better words, he looked terrible. So terrible, that you might’ve pitied him any other time, because how could you ever be angry at James, when he looked so sad.

When his eyes are glassy and red. When his hair is disheveled as a result of an undoubtedly rough night. When his voice cracked at his sloppy apology. Or when his lips trembled almost unnoticeably when you said no.

But all of that wouldn’t magically clear away your own misery of the past months.

“I was supposed to be your best friend,” you enunciated slowly. “It’s always been you and me. Merlin, we’ve known each other since we were born and they ran out of baby cribs at St. Mungo’s, so they put us together in one!” you exclaimed.

You bitterly scoffed to yourself at the reminder of your literal lifelong friendship.

“But you cut me off for a relationship with Lily? Lily who rejected you for years and when she finally did agree to date you, never even gave you the time of the day?”

You stared at him incredulously and had to remind yourself to tone down your voice a little. You had unconsciously been raising it and didn’t want to attract unwanted attention.

“You followed her around like a lost puppy and cast me aside because she didn’t trust you for being friends with a girl and you were so easy to discard me,” you laughed humorlessly, trying to mask your hurt feelings. “I guess I must’ve really not meant all that much to you.”

To James’ credit, he at least had the decency of looking remorseful. His own words were replaying on a loop in his head. Of course he regretted it all.

“You can’t come back after that and expect me to just open my arms for you,” you firmly stated.

James looked at you helplessly, and you let out another laugh in disbelief. “Oh, Godric, you did,” you stared at him with wide eyes in surprise.

James could feel himself getting flustered and spoke up again. “I just thought that maybe-,”

“No, no, no. Like I said, I’m not doing this again.”

“Please, lov-, Y/N please, if you would just let me prove to you that you do mean so much to me,” His voice was getting increasingly more desperate. “I just want-, I need you to give me a second chanc-”

“A second chance? James, you are way past that. You’ve already had a second chance,” you bitterly told him. “Merlin, I’ve given you a second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth chance. I would’ve given you a thousand chances, but even that, you threw away.”

You tiredly rubbed your face. “I have nothing left to give you.”

Your words hit him in the face and his chest tightened.

“Oh… No, I-, I definitely understand.” His voice came out quietly.

James wanted to hide away. He felt utterly pathetic and ashamed at his own actions.

“I’ll uh, I’ll leave you alone, then.” He turned around but stopped mid step.

“But Y/N? If you ever change your mind, or if you ever need me, I’ll be there for you this time. Always right behind you.” James let his eyes linger on your face for a moment, taking you in. Merlin, he really missed you.

Your mind struggled to find the words to properly articulate all that you’ve felt these past months.

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry too. For not trying to fight for you more,” you sympathetically offered.

“Oh, what? No, that’s-, it really was all my own fault. I chose her over you, and it was stupid. I was stupid, not you.”

“I don’t know. I feel like I should’ve tried harder to find a solution. I regret it too, you know, that we lost us.”

James frowned at your words.

“You-, I don’t even-,” you sighed. “I thought we would be in it for life, you know,” you eventually confessed, and James eyes widened. He wasn’t sure if he understood that completely, but his heart had made a small jump at your confession. Surely you didn’t actually mean…?

“Maybe not side by side as lovers or anything,” you quickly tried to cover yourself, but instead confirmed James’ thoughts. “But I was so sure we’d be partners nonetheless.” James watched you smile fondly, but sadly at the thought.

“I tried so hard not to be jealous of the fact that I was no longer the first person you’d go to for everything.” You chewed on your lower lip and James forced himself to pry his eyes away from it.

“You could be again,” James whispered to himself. But it was loud enough for you to hear it. You chose to ignore it and the way your heart tugged.

“But it was never an issue of jealousy when you actively forgot me on so many different occasions and then just kicked me out for her.”

“I'm sorry, I don’t know why I… how I even…”

“Look, I have to go,” you settled on, and nodded awkwardly at him. “But thanks for apologizing,” you added before you left.

You’d gone about your life according to the same routine of the past few months and paid James little to no mind. Though he was spending all of his time with the marauders again, you somehow found a way of disappearing right when he would arrive.

Days passed and James watched you laugh at the punchline of the joke that a ghost had told you. So close and yet so far.

James knew that you told him no when he had asked if things could go back to the way they were, but he couldn’t give up on you. It was as if something was physically stopping him from doing so.

He wanted you to see him again, but would never cross your boundaries, which left him in a difficult position.

The first opportunity presented itself when he overheard some guy talk shit about you. Except he only saw red instead of an opportunity. Because how dare they.

“She’ll give in someday. I’ll show her how to have a good time. Godric knows she’s too prudish, wouldn’t even let me-“

James surged forward before he could even think and grabbed the guy by the collar, his wand was pointed at the boy’s throat in a matter of seconds, a piercing glare on his face as he gritted through his teeth.

“Don’t.” It was a warning and the boy heeded it and scrambled away when James released him.

“What are you looking at,” he called out to the students that had stopped to watch what was happening. They too, quickly scrambled away, pretending they hadn’t seen a thing.

But by supper, everyone had heard about it, including you. You looked at him from further down the table and nodded at him with a appreciated smile.

James heart skipped a beat and he dreamed of you that night.

So what else could he do for you that would make you happy, he wondered while he wandered around the castle. The marauders were hanging out with you right now, leaving James to his own devices.

“Books!” He yelled out loud and it startled a cat. “Signed books had been successful, right? But what books, and how to…” He muttered to himself.

You stared at the pile of books that started to form next to you while owls flew in and back out again, only to return with more books. When you opened the one on the pile to your left, you saw that it was signed by one of your favorite authors.

Your eyes grew wide and you quickly inspected the signature from up close. Your hands stroked the beautiful hard back cover of the book. First copy.

People all over the great hall were looking at the spectacle  but you just laughed and blew a kiss at the last owl.

You glanced at James because you knew it was him who orchestrated all of this. Only he would know all your favorite authors and books.

James simply offered you a smile and continued eating his food, but he was absolutely beaming inside at the gleeful look on your face.

You visited him in his dorms that night. “James,” you whispered. You held your finger to your lips as a sign not to wake the others.

“James, thank you for the books, they’re amazing,” you told him. “But James, you’ve got to stop. Don’t fight on my behalf. Don’t spend so much money on me. Please “ you begged him.

James’ smile fell. “I made you uncomfortable,“ he noted. You sighed and sat down on his bed. “I used to give you gifts all the time,” he weakly defended himself.

“I don’t want to forgive you,” you started. James looked down.

“You hurt me. Do you get that? You hurt me and broke our friendship and I don’t know when I’ll want to be friends again, but it’ll never the same when I do. So you have to stop doing all of this. You can’t try to buy it with gifts and heroic deeds.”

“I don’t want it to be the same either,” James sighed out in a defeated tone. “I just need you with me. One way or another. I’m not trying to buy anything, I just want to make you happy.”

You understood his words and the implied confession behind them. After all, you had felt the exact same way months ago.

You sadly smiled and pressed a kiss to his cheek. James closed his eyes at the contact and tried to savor the moment. You really were his greatest regret.

“I don’t want to forgive you,” you stubbornly repeated.

“You don’t have to. I just want to be there.”

“Right behind me, right? No matter what pace?”

“Of course,” he replied.

It took time. Months and months actually, where he respected your boundaries and slowly inserted himself back into your life, with your permission of course.

At first simply joining you with the marauders again. Then thoughtful actions such as giving you his spare quill. Later on even sitting next to you during Transfiguration and building up to study nights and eventually back to star gazing.

However slow it was, everything was worth it, James thought to himself as he opened the door to invite you in for the Easter holiday.

“Hi, thank you for coming over,” he widely smiled.

“Ah you know, I live right across the street, love.”

 

Taglist: Only 50 first people, rest in comments.

@elsie-bells @charlie-weasley-is-underrated @dreamingofmarauders @moonyslibrary98 @wildernessflora @hollandweather @queerqueenlynn @locklyebrainrot @thisrandombitch @grac3aph3lion @earfquak3 @venomsvl @shrekscrustybudassy @middle-of-the-earth @sirene-noir @bettytaylorversion @littlepoisonmushroom @faumpje @iloveutwice @katelebate @moonysupremacy01 @marina468 @fangirl-kimora @bellesowl @badasswlthafatass @sjprongs @armydrcamers @its-a-ittle-bit-cold @ireallywannasleep127 @sayukoi @jsjcue @cashtons-wife @idllyastuff @severegiantjudgefriend @ivy-34 @loudflowerss @moonyunebi @caspianobsessed @laraoverthinks @starsanddream @btsw1fe @larahatesbeinghere @kquil @moonys-luvr @consumingwaters @mindflay3r @magpiesworld

@my-beloved-fandoms @dreamsygirl @papichulo120627 @nokkoongie @sbrewer21 @helloitsmeeeeeee @magical-spit @clumsyassbitch

[evilminji]

You ever fuck up so bad, you accidentally kidnap someone?

Imagine, if you will, the players of our scene. Young Justice. Perhaps the Teen Titans. It matters not, really, only that they are young. Too young, in fact, for the booze they have smuggled in, to celebrate still being ALIVE.

They didn't think they would be, approximately seven hours ago.

They didn't think ANYONE would be, by this time, seven hours later.

The world celebrates. Families hug, children cry and laugh, lovers desperately reunite. They did it. They saved the day. Survived.

With new wounds and some fresh new trauma to show for it, too. Perhaps... Perhaps it is that. And the looseness of alcohols effect on the tounge. Combined with their new closeness... that gets them talking. Sharing.

Talking of skills. Training. Histories normally not mentioned. Perhaps even bitching about this mentor or that old teacher, and OH, weren't they a NAG! "Fundamentals~!" The magic user mocks in drunkin parody of their old teacher. "it's all about the FUNDAMENTALS! Practice circles until you puke!"

But...

Oh? Oh DEAR~

Drunks have such POOR impulse control, don't they? The Speedster scoffs. He doesn't mean harm. Truely, he doesn't. But to him? It is a constant irritant against sore skin, that his team mates have access to such powerful and strange powers... yet choose not too study them at ALL! Ask questions. That they haven't considered the advancements humanity could make if they just TRIED.

Everything has an answer.

Just because you don't know what it IS yet, doesn't mean it doesn't EXSIST out there.

But this is an old argument. They ALSO a sore spot for the magic user and (by the many gods they know better then to swear by) they are SICK of it! You- *urk!* You think you can do BETTER? Explain it then, Mr. "Magic isn't real"!

And oh dear, oh dear~

The usual mitigator has already fallen asleep. Passed out, really, having amongst other things, texted their Ex and decided they NEEDED to dye their hair. Which leaves no one to stop what about to unfold. As the Speedster slams down his drink, his hyper accelerated metabolism leaving him, ironically, one of the LEAST drunk in the room.

But... sometimes all you NEED to royally fuck up?

Is to be just buzzed enough to ignore your better instincts.

And the argument kicks up. Again. Heats up. Again. But this time? Goes further. They are standing, yelling, in each other's faces. The Speedster certain they are just "making things up". The magic user hissing that the arcane is a field of STUDY. A SCIENCE and ART. Just because YOU don't-

But?

Well... One must ask. Have you ever FOUGHT a Speedster? Can you even conceive of what a pico-second FEELS like? What the Speedforce, once active, makes the world LOOK like? It is like statues. Silence. Calling a timeout on reality itself.

You can walk away.

No one can really stop you.

You can walk out the door, up the stairs, to your friends room, and grab books from their shelf. Sit and read them. ALL of them. The whole shelving unit. In the time it took a fraction of a second to pass. Then get up, put everything back, go back down stairs, search for supplies, find them, and return to your conversation. Having studied everything they have in the building.

And for them? It's like blinking. You just... have the supplies now. Air is displaced.

And you're ready to fuckin PROVE it.

You looked up all the symbols they used. So NOW? You can use nonsense. No chance that ANYTHING will happen, right? It's not "official magic"! He says, talking over a buzzed magic user. Who's staring at him blankly, mind churning as they try figure out why... why it sounds like he's saying he's about to do the One Thing they were... told.. to never...

Oh God.

WAIT!

DONT!

But it's too late. Our dear Speedster has made his "gibberish" circle. Chanted randomly strung together magically charged NONSENSE. Then? Let her rip! See? Nothing happ-

The world seems to suck in it's breath and wind up, as though preparing to PERSONALLY punish such hubris. The magic user us screaming. Back! Every GET BACK! Move, move, MOVE! Green hisses and crackles from the circle.

As.

Reality.

CRACKS.

!!!BOOM!!!

Glass shatters and electronics are beyond salvation. The couchs many dove behind are shredded, but hold. Sections of the ceiling and floor collapsing. The Radiation alarm deeper in the base kicks in with a clicking wail. There is SOMETHING casting a looming shadow... and it has a CROWN.

The air burns like arctic winter wind and ozone.

Before anyone can think of what to DO, a harsh golden light rips open reality and out steps most of JLA Dark. The are standing in front of the now completely trashed Zeta-tube. Which they could not USE. They do not look amused.

"What. Did you. DO!?" Snarls an exhausted John Constantine from the front of the line up, his normal rougish face is still half bruises and the cigarette he's holding looks like it's the only thing keeping him from strangling someone. "We could feel that from FUCKIN SPACE! We're you trying to blow up the PLANET?!"

"Good QUESTION!" snarls another voice, from the direction of where the circle should be "Here's another one! Where the HELL am I and who are you people?!"

Every spins to look.

There, floating above the green glowing circle, is a teen in a crown.

@the-witchhunter @hypewinter @hdgnj @dcxdpdabbles @lolottes @mutable-manifestation @hdgnj @nerdpoe

[some-israeli-guy]

I want to take a few minutes to talk about my connection to Israel, as a Jew. I want to do that because some people desperately need to understand this, and also I'm procrastinating on uni homework.

Some years ago there were calls to return artifacts from the British Museum to the countries they're from. I know Britain pretty much went anywhere and took anything they wanted, but it got me thinking about cultural identities and their connection over time.

The middle east was home to some of the world's most ancient civilizations, and I'm sure most people living there could trace their lineage back to those civilizations (theoretically of course, we don't have data going that far). But how are they related to them? Do modern day Iraqis have any connection to Babylonians? They don't have a common language, religion, holidays, costumes… there is no cultural connection there. Babylonians happened to live in the same place, but other than that…

But this is not the case for Jews. Wherever Jewish people ended up throughout time, we kept a direct connection to ancient Israelites. I speak the same language they did thousands of years ago, I celebrate the holidays they celebrated. Our holy book is localized to Israel. We have holidays where we use local flora as decorations. We remembered our home, wherever we were, and waited to return.

The city I grew up in has flooding every winter. The whole area does (the Sharon region). It's because it used to be a swamp. There are 3 limestone ridges blocking the rivers from getting to the ocean, and when the early Zionist pioneers bought lands in this area (which were uninhabited swampland at the time) they had to open up tunnels through the limestone and drain the swamps before people could live here.

Why am I telling you this? Because we already did it before. Ancient Israelites already dug tunnels and drained swamps and lived here. There was a prayer during Yom Kippur specifically for the safety of people living here. All of the towns in the Sharon were razed by the Mamluks in the 13th century, and it became a swamp again. Until we returned.

To anyone who call us "colonizers": These "ancient" Israelites don't just share a religion with us, they ARE us. We were expelled from our homeland, but we kept our identity, we refused to let go, we kept wishing to come back home. We were always indigenous to Israel. We don't belong anywhere but here.

And now they're are trying to tell us that some people with a name invented by Rome to erase Judea and Israel, with a religion and language from Arabia, who didn't have a distinct cultural identity other than "Arab" until a few decades ago, belong here more than we do? I don't think so.

[storieswithvenus]

Honeymoon anxiety - Tyler Owens x Fem! Reader

.*･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ

The fire crackles, spitting out small bits caught by the fire guard Tyler had placed in front of it an hour or so ago. you were currently sitting with your recliner up and head in your laptop.

“You know, it would be nice if you spoke to me instead of having your head in the laptop all night”, Tyler's voice gains your attention looking up towards the doorway where he is currently leaning up against, a teasing smile on his face.

“I'm sorry baby, I'm just trying to work out all the plans for our honeymoon, I’m convinced this is harder to plan than the actual wedding.” you speak for the first time in a few hours. you had been sitting researching all these different places across the world to see what would fit yours and Tyler's respected interests.

“I told you, we could just go on a solo storm chasing trip for a few weekends, then we aren’t spending as much money,” your head immediately snaps up to look at him, your eyes narrowing into a glare. “Tyler owens. I told you we are not celebrating our honeymoon by going and storm chasing. We already do that everyday, and you know damn well the gang is gonna turn around and tag along” you spit at him, he knew this was a non-negotiable issue with you.

You watch as he walks into the living room and towards the sofa where you are sitting, Tyler sits beside you and pulls you closer towards him ending with you on his lap facing him.

“I cannot wait to marry you my dear,” he leaves a gentle kiss on your lips, he can taste your vanilla lip balm which causes him to lean in again for a second taste. “I'm sorry I haven't been speaking to you, ty. I'm just so worried we won’t have everything planned and booked before the wedding.” You let your worries out to him, he watches you with the most love ever as you ramble on about the small details which were causing you anxiety. every so often you would feel him squeeze your waist so you knew he was listening to you.

Your wedding has always been made a big deal, even since you were a kid. That was your biggest dream, to marry your prince charming. Tyler had many conversations with your parents, mainly because they gave him the rundown of how you are going to act like when he does propose.

You start to fiddle with your engagement ring, playing and rubbing the small diamond in the middle of the gold ring. You had stated on your first date with Tyler that you only wear gold jewellery and have never been into silver, that was something he has taken a mental note of when you started to get serious - eventually using that to pick out the engagement ring 3 years later.

“Everything will come out perfect my love, stop worrying, we still have 7 months until the big day,” his voice immediately calms you down, his green eyes staring into yours, the love for you shown in the look he is giving you.

“We are still not having the honeymoon in tornado alley though.”

[alienbycomics]

Volume 3 of Trans & Nonbinary Character Profiles! A little trans rep celebration for your day 💗 Who should be in the next one?

“You know I hate these things. Talking to people. Waving to people. People.” —Raine Whispers

“Growing up wasn't easy. I am also a trans woman. I'm different... but so is everybody. And I don't know when that became such a bad thing. The greatest gift we can give each other is our authentic selves. And sharing that- sharing our truth-is what will make us strong.” —Dreamer

“The more flamboyant a woman is, the more she's as beautiful as a poisonous flower, right?” —Grell Sutcliff

“Just keep your mind on your books.” —Ollie de Ooievaar

“When I was born, people saw my body as female, and now I'm living as a man. When I was a kid, I didn't understand any of that. I was just anxious and scared. and that's just... not how I define myself. I don't want or need everyone in the world to understand me.” —Natsuyoshi Utsumi

Trans & Nonbinary Character Profiles #1

Trans & Nonbinary Character Profiles #2

[probablyasocialecologist]

Saito has made a career of teasing out an eco-theory from the late, unpublished writings of Karl Marx. He earned his doctorate at Humboldt University, in Berlin, and now teaches philosophy at the University of Tokyo. His first book was an English version of his dissertation, titled “Karl Marx’s Ecosocialism” (2017), which tracked Marx’s study of the physical world and communal agricultural practices. (Saito is fluent in Japanese, German, and English.) In a second academic book, “Marx in the Anthropocene” (2022), Saito drew on an expanded repertoire of Marx’s unpublished notebooks to argue for a theory of “degrowth communism.” He gained a following, not only in philosophical circles but among a Japanese public facing the contradictions of tsunamis, billionaires, and same-day shipping. “Slow Down” has sold more than half a million copies in Japan and launched Saito into a rare academic celebrity. He appears regularly on Japanese television and aspires to the public-intellectual status of Thomas Piketty, the French economist who had a surprise hit in his 2013 doorstop, “Capital in the Twenty-first Century.”

The key insight, or provocation, of “Slow Down” is to give the lie to we-can-have-it-all green capitalism. Saito highlights the Netherlands Fallacy, named for that country’s illusory attainment of both high living standards and low levels of pollution—a reality achieved by displacing externalities. It’s foolish to believe that “the Global North has solved its environmental problems simply through technological advancements and economic growth,” Saito writes. What the North actually did was off-load the “negative by-products of economic development—resource extraction, waste disposal, and the like” onto the Global South.

If we’re serious about surviving our planetary crisis, Saito argues, then we must abandon capitalism, with its insatiable appetites. We must reject the ever-upward logic of gross domestic product, or G.D.P. (a combination of government spending, imports and exports, investments, and personal consumption). We will not be saved by a “green” economy of electric cars or geo-engineered skies. Slowing down—to a carbon footprint on the level of Europe and the U.S. in the nineteen-seventies—would mean less work and less clutter, he writes. Our kids may not make it, otherwise.

[hannibals-favourite-meal]

happy 6k!! its well deserved! can i ask for secret relationship with Aaron Hotchner (if it hasn’t been requested yet) ♡︎

.⋆｡Serendipity｡⋆.

Aaron Hotchner x plus size reader

Something’s wrong with you, a subtle change taking place over months that your profiler co-workers haven’t noticed but one Penelope Garcia has

Warnings: secret relationship, fluff, Garcia snooping, mention of condoms/smut WC: 1.6k

6k Follower Celebration Bingo

Library- @hannibals-favourite-meal-library

Penelope was worried about you, to say the least. You had always been a bit of an introvert, preferring to stay home with your hobbies and books rather than go out to a bar with the rest of the team but over the last month, you had been far more reclusive than normal. She may not have been a profiler but she could see the way you hid your phone, the turtlenecks and scarves that now seemed to be a staple of your wardrobe, and most damning of all, the fact that you had avoided Girl’s Night.

And Penelope was going to get to the bottom of it.

“I need your help. Now.” She jammed her pen onto the end call button of her desk phone before the person on the other end of the line could answer. Her eyes were glued to the monitor in front of her, your social media page laid out across the screen. She had gone through every like, every comment, every follower and nothing seemed blatantly out of place but she knew she was missing something.

“C’mon baby, I know you’re somewhere in there.”

The door to her cave slammed open, revealing a slightly sweaty and very out of breath Dr Reid. “What! What is it? What’s wrong?”

Penelope spun her chair around and in a squeaky voice responded. “I don’t know!” Spencer’s distressed expression faded, however, as soon as he saw what she had been looking at in the first place. His eyebrows furrowed and he stepped into the room, the blue light of her monitors reflecting off his glasses. 

“Garcia, are those bank statements?” 

“Two days ago, Y/N went to the pharmacist at 10 pm. 10! Who goes to the pharmacy that late unless they’re hiding something.” Penelope gestured wildly at the list.

“Or we just got back from a case and she had to refill a prescription?” She scoffed and waved him off.

“Our copay isn’t that good. I only know one thing someone buys for $15 at a pharmacy after 8.” Spencer gave her a puzzled look, “Condoms Dr Reid! Condoms!” 

Red bloomed across his cheeks but Penelope continued. “And then I noticed something else, Y/N hasn’t been to a gas station in almost 6 months. Or at least if she has, she hasn’t been paying for gas. So, tell me what that means.” 

“Someone has been buying gas for her.” Spencer leaned forward, his hands now planted on the only empty spot on her desk. 

“Or…” She prompted.

“Someone’s been driving her around.” His glasses slid down the bridge of his nose.

“Which means…” Penelope gently pressed them back up his face as the realisation dawned upon the genius.

“She has a secret boyfriend.”

——————

“Are we positive that this is a good idea?” Spencer shoved his hands into his suit pants pocket as he nervously looked around the empty hallway. Penelope huffed as she moved the bags of takeout over to her left hand, the numerous bracelets on her wrist jingling.

“Look, either she comes clean and gives us all the details about this mystery beau or we get a nice night in with one of our best friends in the world.” She firmly knocked on the door, stopping any further protest from Spencer. 

There was a few seconds of quiet, then a scuffle behind the door. They looked at each other before the lock clicked and your face was between the crack. “Penelope?”

Spencer leaned over so his head was above Garcia’s. Your eyes met his, your frown deepening. “And Spencer. What are you guys doing here?”

Penelope shot a look over her shoulder that screamed ‘I told you so’ before she held up the brown paper bags and gave you a megawatt smile. “There’s a Doctor Who marathon on TV tonight so I thought we could surprise you since it’s been forever since we’ve hung out!” 

“I’m not exactly dressed for company. Do you think you could give me a minute?” You glanced at something in your apartment, giving Penelope the opportunity to poke Spencer in the arm.

“Do you think we could come inside to wait, it’s a bit chilly out here.” You sighed. The door opened slowly, revealing your state of half-undress, wearing only a shirt that definitely wasn’t yours and that did nothing to cover the discolouration around your neck that suspiciously looked like hickies. Sweat dotted your hairline, your chest heaved, and the soft, sensual music playing from your speaker was everything that they needed to know.

Penelope’s squeal of victory was swiftly cut off by a man’s arm wrapping around your wide hips and tugging you back from the door, away from their sight. “It seems we’ve been had.” A deep voice rumbled.

“No way.” They were frozen to the spot, left staring at the empty doorway.

“Well, come on in then. Whatever you brought smells good.” Spencer was the first one to move, stumbling over his own feet as he entered the apartment. Penelope followed, a slightly dazed look on her face.

When she finally regained her composure, you had disappeared into the bedroom, leaving one Aaron Hotchner standing in your living room, dressed far more casually than they had ever seen him before, a sly smile on his lips. He took the bags of take out from her and carefully placed them on the coffee table. 

He was relaxed, incredibly so. His body language open, his eyes even sparkled when you walked back out of your room, now more dressed than before. Spencer’s brain ticked over as he watched the way your fingers brushed Aaron’s arm, recalling every moment he could where your interactions had been anything more than platonic in the years you had worked for the BAU. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Penelope sounded genuinely heartbroken, which made you break away from Aaron and wrap her up in your arms.

“We wanted to keep it private at first, just to see where it went.”

“And Stauss wouldn’t exactly approve.” Aaron added as he started pulling out the food containers.

“A relationship between the chief of a unit and his subordinate isn’t exactly against any FBI rules but it is frowned upon. Not to mention the over 10 year age gap between the two of you might’ve raised eyebrows.” Spencer perked up, earning a scowl from said older man.

“Yes that too.” He cleared his throat. Your giggle was muffled by Penelope’s hair. She turned around in your embrace to give Aaron a dirty look yet remained clinging to you.

“You’ve stolen her from us, keeping her all to yourself all the time.” Her grip on you tightened. “And buying condoms! Who are you to defile this perfect being.” 

Aaron had the audacity to look a little bashful at that, though you caught the flash of a prideful grin before he quickly hid it behind his usual frown. “She is my girlfriend. But, I suppose I have been selfish.”

Spencer had disappeared into your kitchen to look for some plates, but he soon called out to you. “What utensils do you want me to use? There are far too many in this drawer.” You rolled your eyes and pried yourself from Penelope, now leaving her alone with your boyfriend.

Her firm expression didn’t waver. “You love her?”

“Yes.” He answered without hesitation.

“Are you going to ask her to marry you?” Aaron’s brown eyes darted to the kitchen and once he confirmed that you weren’t standing within earshot, he muttered.

“It’s early but yes.”

“You need my approval.” She crossed her arms over her chest but Aaron could clearly see the way she was fighting a smile. 

“Of course.” He nodded, popping open a container of dumplings and stealing one. 

“Good.” She plopped down onto your couch, evidently all her questions answered, and took the box from him. 

“Is that all?”

Her nose scrunched up. “Don’t get ahead of yourself Hotchner, you aren’t off the hook yet. I’m telling everyone you’ve both been lying to us for months.” 

“As long as it stays in the BAU.” You piped up, your hands now full of various forks and knives, Spencer trailing after you with plates in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other. “We don’t need to kick up a HR investigation just yet.”

“We’ll vouch for you both if it comes to that.” Spencer sat on the edge of the recliner so he could still reach the coffee table. You glided by Aaron, your shoulder purposefully brushing against his as you passed. Penelope patted the couch cushion beside her.

You grabbed the remote control and obeyed her hint, settling into the soft material with a sigh. 

“Now go, it’s our turn to get her.” Aaron just rolled his eyes playfully and kissed your forehead gently.

“Have fun you three, I’ll stay out of your hair.” You melted into his touch for just a moment before he pulled himself away to gather his things that he left on his your bedside table. “Although it’s been a while since I’ve spent the night by myself.” He teased.

That earned him a scoff from Garcia. “Go!” He raised his hands in defeat and left the three of you to the pile of food and your show. You accepted the offered plate from Spencer, it was silent save for the low voices from the TV and Aaron’s movements around your bedroom. 

Penelope had a pleased smile on her face, pride filling her chest. She had out-profiled a team of profilers before they had even realised something was off. And she had gotten an evening with you and Spencer through her genius. She pressed the side of her thigh against yours as you poured out some wine for each of them.

You grinned at her before you suddenly froze, a thought occurring to you.

“Pen… how did you know I had been buying condoms?”

CM Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Join my taglist!

All works

@im-a-slut-for-fluff @alexxavicry @ravenwings73 @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @silverfire475 @psychadelichues @mvyalx @faefanatic @evansqueen54 @anamiad00msday @th3sloth @princess76179 @Lanielagenev @luvvvjada @Lucypaulette @midnight-shadow-va @mooniequeen @slutfor-fictionalmen @km-ffluv @black-rose-29 @minedofmoria @relatednative

Criminal Minds

@lokiandbuckysdoll

Aaron Hotchner

@looking1016 @tripletstephaniescp @simpingfortoomanypeople

[universalitgirlsblog2]

💗🍒CELEBRITY MANIFESTATION🍒💗

💗ARIANA GRANDE

Ariana Grande is a manifesting queen ! She made alot of songs on manifestation too - 7 rings , just like magic and successful. Ariana said how every single thing we think about ourselves or others , how we react to things and what we choose to think about , what you spend time talking about , it all plays part in manifestation . Her mom taught her that if she wanted something , she could have it and it was possible.

🍒SHAWN MENDES

Shawn Mendes had a book of manifestation where he wrote how he could sing high with no tension or how he sold out the Roger center, basically he used the method called " scripting ". He also recommended one to speak positive affirmations , for example , I love me . I feel calm and happy in my body .

💗BILLIE EILISH

When Billie was making music with her brother , her brother joked about how he will make her the biggest pop star in the world. Guess what ? Look at Billie now, she is so successful and popular. Everyone loves her . You speak things into existence. Joke about how you have your desires , don't make self-depricating jokes.

🍒MARILYN MONROE

She manifested her fame and beauty! Read this post - click me !

💗LISA OF BLACKPINK

Lisa dreamt of becoming a k-pop idol , a teacher said even though Lisa danced in the dance room , she acted like she is on stage. She imagined herself dancing on the stage , she acted as if she was already a kpop- idol who was performing on stage. She said that if we persist in our dreams , they will come true and we need to believe that we will become the one we want to become. I also made a post on how Lisa is a persisting icon - click me and I would also suggest you to read this post - click me.

🍒BRUNO MARS

Bruno imagined him and his band dancing and women screaming for him when he was doing interviews. He envisioned how he wanted his album to be in his mind.

💗LADY GAGA

Lady Gaga said that she repeated to herself everyday how " music is her life " " fame is inside of me " " I'm going to make a number one record with number one hits ". She said that you repeat the lie everyday and one day it becomes true. Like Neville said , an assumption through false, if persisted in, will harden into fact.

🍒BEYONCE

When Beyonce was going to perform on BT , in her mind she saw the set and she also drew the ramp.

💗ALIA BHATT

Alia Bhatt is an Indian actress. She believes in Universe has some way of making things happen.If she wants something like a film or award or health related , she acts as if it already happened infront of her mirror.

🍒KATRINA KAIF

Katrina said that if she wants something, she tries how she would feel if she already got it . She gets into the feeling of living in the end .

💗ANUSHKA SHARMA

Anushka Sharma had a turtle in her living room , you open the turtle and put your wish inside the turtle , when your wish comes true , you take it out .When she got her first movie and she called her mom to inform her and came to know that her mom put the wish in the turtle.

🍒ALEXA DEMIE

Alexa had acne when she was a teenager . She would wake up every morning and say - " I have beautiful , clear, acne-free, scar free skin " and the affirmation did it's magic. It worked.

💗TOM HOLLAND

Tom Holland said that he wanted to be spiderman .Believe it or not , you speak things into existence. He also manifested Zendaya.

🍒TAYLOR SWIFT

Taylor showed her diary she wrote when she was 13 and she wrote about her life , career , dream and reality . Basically , she did scripting too. In one of her old clips , she said that her dream was to look out into a crowd of thousands of people and make them sing the words in her song. She spoke her desires into existence. She also said that she knew shake it off was going to be a hit song and she wasn't wrong. Feel that you already have your desires and know it will happen . Don't question the how.

💗MEGHAN THEE STALLION

Meghan admitted manifesting her life.

🍒JANG WONYOUNG

Wonyoung knew that love dive was going to be successful and when it released it broke records and it is IVE'S most popular song. Know that you have your desires and they are yours !!

💗JENNIFER ANISTON

Jennifer said that to manifest you speak as it already happened. Manifest it , believe and know you will have it .

💗🍒I am sure most celebrities use the law even if they don't talk about it .Everyone is manifesting consciously or unconsciously. Why do you care if a random stranger does not believe in manifestation when there are rich and successful celebrities who believe in manifestation ? Manifestation is real. It's not black magic . Manifestation is nothing but you focusing on what you want and persisting in it. Your mind is powerful. You are powerful. You can have anything you want and be anything you want to be.💗🍒

[barcaatthemoon]

familia iii || alexia putellas x reader ||

More adventures with your family.

Previous Part.

"This is not funny," Alexia grumbled as Maria ran away from her and ducked behind the couch. You glanced at your wife with a look of sympathy. Jaime was engrossed in her book, but you heard the girl chuckle at the situation. Diaper changes were the bane of Alexia's existence. It seemed like Maria hadn't gotten into the habit of walking around, but instead decided that she liked sprinting everywhere. "Mi amor, will you change her diaper please?"

"Fine, but only because you can't exactly run right now," you teased. Alexia flopped back onto the couch with a heavy sigh. Her stomach stuck out as the last of your children sat inside of it. You were excited, although you wished that Alexia hadn't taken on the trial run of being inseminated. That pushed her retirement game up, as well as leaving a less than two year gap between Maria and the next baby.

"Thank you," Alexia mumbled. Her eyes were closed, but only for a moment. You poked her head behind the couch and Maria immediately began to toddle towards you. Jaime shifted closer to Alexia on the couch, distracting her mother from noticing how quickly Maria just came to you. "What are you reading?"

"Auntie Leah sent a book," Jaime muttered. Alexia glanced over her shoulder, watching as Jaime read. You thought it was adorable, and you couldn't wait for Maria to grow up a little and calm down enough for nice moments like that. There was the occasional naptime snapshot of Maria asleep with Jaime, but for the most part, she was absolutely wild. Eli claimed that it was how Alexia had been whenever she was that age, but you had a hard time believing it.

You changed Maria into a new diaper before carrying her back to the living room. Alexia had a futbol game on, and Maria instantly sat down on the floor to watch it. She was going to be a footballer, and you knew it. You hadn't told Alexia yet, but you were convinced that Jaime would follow in Alba's footsteps and become a teacher. She was a natural caretaker, and was already trying to teach Maria as much as she could.

"Goooaaaal!" Maria echoed as a ball slipped into the goal. You watched as Alexia's face fell, Barcelona not having scored that goal. The look on her face was nothing short of absolute betrayal. Athletico Madrid had scored, but you knew in Alexia's eyes, it might as well as been Real.

"No, that's not good. Don't celebrate that! (Y/n), tell her that's bad." Alexia was absolutely panicked. You let out a small chuckle as you got onto the floor and picked Maria up, who was still cheering. "What about Barcelona, baby?"

"She's just repeating what they said on the TV, that's all," you told Alexia. She didn't seem to buy it at all, and suddenly, you knew that you would be left with three children for the rest of the day. True to your suspicions, Alexia spent quite a long time just pouting, despite Barcelona winning by 5 goals. You had hoped that it was just a one-day thing, but it started up again whenever you came back with an Athletico shirt that Maria had insisted on keeping.

"How sure are you that she is ours?" Alexia asked as she watched the baby sprint around the yard. She was chasing Alba's dog around Eli's backyard. Jaime and Alba were out there with her, tossing sticks around for Maria and the dog to bring back. "I mean, she doesn't like Barcelona, so I think they messed up at the hospital."

"Ale, don't even joke like that!" You swatted at your wife's shoulder, smacking her repeatedly. "She's a baby, she likes the colors. Stop acting like it is the end of the world. There are more than enough Barcelona players around us to brainwash Maria into thinking anything that you want her to. Let's face it, you need to worry about Lucy getting her Chelsea hooks in."

"She would never even try, we respect each other. This feels like Maria's doing, she came from Madrid after all. Maybe even Jenni too." You rolled your eyes as Alexia tried to figure out who the culprit was. You thought it was all absolutely ridiculous, but you let her keep going as you went to help Eli get the table set and ready.

…

"Ugly," Maria said as she turned away from Elizabeth. You watched her toddle away from the newborn and right back to where she had been sitting on Jaime's lap. "Babies are gross."

"You're a baby," Jaime muttered. You could see it begin before it happened, but still couldn't stop it. A single well placed shot from Maria had Jaime's nose bleeding, and all of the noise woke Alexia and Elizabeth up. You took Jaime to get cleaned up while Maria sat in time out and Alexia tried to calm Elizabeth down.

"Can you please behave yourselves until Tia Alba comes to take you for the weekend?" Alexia asked tiredly. Jaime nodded as she sat down next to Elizabeth's crib. Unsurprisingly, Maria shook her head as she sat and loudly kicked her feet in her chair. "Mi amor, can you do something please?"

"Mari, do you want me to sit with you for a little bit?" Maria didn't even wait for you to finish your question before she was getting up to pull you over. Where Jaime had clung to Alexia, Maria clung to you. At times, both Alexia and Maria got jealous of how close the two of you were. It would only get worse, and you knew it. Maria was used to being the baby, and now, there was a whole new baby in the house. She had been acting out more and more the closer Elizabeth's due date had gotten.

You were able to calm Maria down long enough for Alexia to get a nap in before Alba came to take them. You carried a sleeping Maria out to Alba's car, but made sure to wake her up for goodbye kisses. Alexia tried to give the toddler some as well, but was instead met with little slaps to the face.

"Yep, I love you too. Have a good time girls," Alexia said.

"Adios Mummy, te amo mucho," Maria said. You smiled as the toddler reached for you once again. You made sure that Alexia didn't hug or kiss you again until Alba had driven away, knowing that if Maria didn't get the last bit of affection, she'd throw a fit.

"I can't believe that I'm beefing with a toddler. My own kid, what the hell?" Alexia threw her arms up in desperation. You chuckled a little, also finding it ridiculous how they got at each other. "This one better be obsessed with me to make up for it."

"Just don't take it personally if she's like Jaime was at that age. All Jaime ever wanted was you, maybe it's my turn for a baby that loves me for more than food," you said. Alexia sighed as she pulled you into her arms. The two of you went back inside, both of you tiredly watching over Elizabeth's crib.

Since you had brought her home, both you and Alexia took turns sleeping in there. If you weren't in there, you were dragged into the big bed by Maria and Jaime. Jaime liked her space while she slept, something that she had gotten from Alexia, but Maria always slept right on top of your chest. If Alexia tried to join in, Maria would keep a single leg outstretched to put space between you and Alexia.

"Do you think that we can sleep in our bed tonight, both of us?" you asked as you ran your fingers through Alexia's hair. She looked nervously at the crib for a moment before glancing up at you. "We have monitors, Ale. It's not for any reason other than I miss it being just us sometimes."

"I thought you didn't need to cuddle with me anymore," Alexia grumbled. You smacked the back of her head, causing her to mutter something to you in Catalan. "Sorry, we can sleep in bed tonight. I've missed you too."

"Thank you, and remember, she'll grow out of it. She's only a couple years old," you reminded Alexia. She let out a heavy sigh, suddenly feeling a bit guilty about constantly bickering with Maria.

…

"Mi amor, did you see that?" Alexia asked as she pointed at where Mari had just scored a goal. It was her first game with her little league club, and Alexia was already thinking about enrolling her in Barcelona's youth academy. "She's going to set records one day, I just know it."

"Ale, calm down a little, you're scaring the baby," you said as you pointed at Elizabeth, who was strapped tightly to Alexia's chest. She glanced down and pressed a kiss to the top of Elizabeth's head, only slightly disturbing the girl. The older she got, the more that she started to look like you, which was only fair since the Putellas genes were really pulling through with Jaime and Maria.

"Why would they put her in the goal? She's been scoring all their goals." Alexia looked beyond confused, but you knew that it was just part of the game. The kids didn't have positions yet, so they got to try everything. Alexia's excitement died down just a bit when she realized how focused Maria got in the goal. It was a look that Alexia had been dying to see in one of her kids, and this wasn't the way she had imagined it. "Oh my god, she's not a striker."

"Ale, it's very early," you tried to tell her. However, when you saw Maria in the goal, you knew that she had found her calling. Smiling to yourself, you snapped a picture of her to send to the groupchat of former Lionesses that you were a part of. Immediately, you got a reply from Mary, who told you she couldn't wait for a Putellas goalkeeper's jersey.

Out of the goal, Maria was still a star on the pitch. However, she wasn't as enthusiastic or focused on playing in a more forward position. Alexia pushed down any hint of disappointment to fully congratulate Maria, who immediately rushed to Alexia for validation. You had been out of the game longer, having retired when you were pregnant with Jaime.

"Mami, can I have keeper gloves?" Maria asked as she sat on your lap. "Oh, and can we take a trip to see Cata? I want her to show me how to keep the goals out."

"We'll get you keeper gloves baby, and I will call Cata later. Come on, let's get you something to eat. It is very important that you properly fuel your body before and after matches," Alexia said. Maria gave you a sweaty hug before running off with Alexia.

"Do you want to go with them to get a snack?" you asked Jaime. She shook her head as she glanced at Maria still bouncing around despite playing the game.

"Absolutely not. I don't want any part of that madness. Besides, Maria never spends time with Mami," Jaime said. You smiled a little at the thoughtfulness of your daughter. You let her keep reading her book until Alexia came back to tell you that it was time to leave. Maria put all of her soccer stuff in the back before you took her to change into something less sweaty.

She held onto your hand, leading you carefully back to the car. Jaime had gotten herself buckled up, and Alexia was just finishig fixing the buckles on Elizabeth's seat. You waited for Alexia to finish before you helped Maria into her seat. You let her try the buckles on her own, but eventually did have to help with the last couple of snaps.

A bit of quiet music and Alexia's driving had all three girls in the back fast asleep. You let her stay in the car while you picked up a call-in order of food for dinner. You brought it inside the house while Alexia woke up Jaime and took Elizabeth inside. You came back out and carried Maria in, the girl clinging to you tightly. Even in her sleep, she just wanted to be close to you. You thought you were going to have to wake her up to eat, but the girl woke immediately once a plate was set in front of her.

It was a bit loud and messy until bedtime, but you wouldn't have wanted it any other way. Jaime put herself to bed without much of a fuss, and you found her reading when you walked out of the nursery after putting Elizabeth to bed. Alexia seemed to come out of Maria's.

[kick-a-long]

so let me get this straight. elon musk retweeted or tweeted an antisemitic comment (because he's an antisemitic asshole from a very antisemitic country south africa) and he was critizised to the point that he took a trip to israel to like reflect and learn about how jews don't eat babies or whatever. but...

Ta-Nehisi Coates, an antisemitic asshole who's antisemitic dad also publishes antisemitic books just one's he's too lazy to write, says in person, recorded on video, without retraction.... that he would join in on the rape, murder, infanticide, and kidnapping of jews, if given the chance... and trevor noah (from very antisemitic country south africa) agreed whole heartedly and adding that it's like the american revolution.... which implies that isreal rode into gaza and lebanon ans was dictating how those countries operate and taking taxes which is WHAT IRAN DOES THROUGH HAMAS AND HEZBOLLAH ALONG WITH THE RAPES AND MURDERS... but there's no media outlet saying that might be kind of fucked up and maybe they should apologize or some vague insincere bullshit... I'm sorry?

and also Christopher Columbus... THE symbol for Catholics in America (which is why we that monster even got his own day. literally catholics, the knights of columbus, wanted a celebration of how interconnected the united states and CATHOLICS are) the Christopher columbus with MASSIVE statues around the globe in portugal, spain, america, italy... that guy is now jewish, just like hitler, because .... he has some jewish DNA. and we are just disregarding his recorded actions, relationship to the church, his very catholic life, lifestyle, origins, and catholic life.

and all this during the jewish christmas/ramidan (because goyim don't know what the fuck our high holy days are even if that name alone should tell you exactly how important they are) ??

which idiots are these things for? who is watching the ta interview and saying to themselves, "boy i would love to read the book by the guy who loves murder and kidnapping and rape! what a leftist humanitarian!" or, "WOW! I hate christopher columbus I'm so glad i don't have to feel guilty as a christian that he was under orders by my church because he was obviously a jew going rouge. because i'm a leftist but also a devout catholic? which is a thing that is a totally consistent world view?"

Who asked for this? I don't think this kind of shit is even for antisemitic leftists anymore. this is for some kind of POC leftist white supremesist with white guilt but also an arab supremasist .... i guess that might describe one or two very mentally ill people but... like ... who? is this stuff to get rage clicks from jews? there aren't that many jews you guys. I have no fucking understanding of these people's world's view other than they hate jews. none of this makes sense in any other way than to attack and increase attacks on jews around the globe. it's so mentally confusing because none of these people are saying anything that benefits them in anyway, nothing that is smart or true, nothing that makes sense if it is not generated directly from the thought, "this will increase jew hate, so i should do it!"

these people are risking their careers, being hella racist about arabs generally and Palistinians specifically, making both jews and arabs less safe, saying inflammatory things they obviously spent very little time thinking about, for the chance to normalize antisemitism. what planet are these media orgs even living on? they don't sound like nazis, they sound like fucking delusional Qanon derps who are improving "the day of the storm" ironically like the segments they show on the daily show, with TREVOR NOAH.

it's like really... sad. like, these guys and scientist have wasted so many people's time and their own talents which people tell me they have i guess, but it's sad that this kind of libel from the media doesn't even make sense to people who don't live on twitter.

[formulawolff]

too fast - l.h.

pairing: lewis hamilton x assistant!reader

word count: 1.3k

warnings: cursing, ANGST, lewis is kind of an asshole in this but he makes up for it, implication of smut, drug and alcohol usage, idk what else to include so if y'all find somethin' lemme know!

a/n: yeah here we go with the assistant and famous celebrity/athlete trope. i will always be a fan of this trope, no matter what. this fic is also heavily inspired by the song too fast by sonder. hope y'all enjoy! i figured i would take a small break from the toto content for the moment! <3

"so how are things lately?"

the lights of vegas glitter all around as you inhale, shrugging slightly, "could be better, could be worse."

"yeah?"

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

"well i'm single," you avoid his gaze as you exhale, the smoke billowing into the cool air, "so yeah, things aren't great. maybe if you paid attention to our conversations you'd know."

"oh, right," he plucks the blunt out of your hands, "i don't know if you know, but i have other shit to worry about right now other than your life troubles."

"fuck you," you scoff, rolling your eyes, "we spend nearly every waking moment together and you don’t even listen to a single word that comes out of my mouth.”

“i mean,” he coughs, “that’s why you’re my assistant, and not my team principal. i don’t have to listen to you.” 

“are you fucking serious right now?” you swivel on your heel, facing him.

lewis hamilton, eight time world champion stands beside you, leaning over the balcony of his suite. beneath you, the headlights of cars flash, the white noise of airplane engines humming overhead. there are the occasional beeps of horns, laughter from the other mercedes crew on other balconies, and the roar of luxury cars as they peel down the straights. 

yet, lewis is as poised as ever, blunt in one hand, a bottle of heineken in the other. his gaze is glossy as he peers over at you, his nose piercing glittering in the dim light. his lips are pursed, as if he was processing the words that just came out of his mouth.

“hey,” he begins, setting the blunt on the ashtray, “i-i didn’t mean that.”

“i would sure fucking hope so,” tears well up in your eyes, heat flourishing through your cheeks and into your neck, “what the fuck is wrong with you? i literally do everything for you. i order all of your favorite things. i organize your ubers, your catering, other deliveries. i make your appointments with stylists. i book your photoshoots. i stock your fridge. i braid your hair for you. fuck lewis, i even call you every morning to make sure you’re up and awake. i can’t even get you to listen to me for three seconds?” 

shaking your head, you bring your hands to your face, in a vain attempt to hide the fact that you were now sobbing. the tears flow, droplets splattering on your top as your shoulders shake, “what the fuck do i have to do to be listened to around here?”

“hey,” lewis takes a step forward, his hands wrapping around your wrists, “hey, i’m sorry. it was just a rough day. qualifying didn’t go as planned. i’m so fucking sorry.”

“s-sorry?” you choke out, “you just told me you don’t even listen to me and all i get is sorry? i know that sometimes practices don’t go according to plan but you can’t just be a fucking asshole and expect me to be okay with it.”

“i know,” lewis exhales, wrapping his arms around you, “i really fucked up, okay? something about your tone just really set me off, and i am so sorry. i got into it with toto earlier, that’s probably why i’ve been so bitter tonight.”

ah, so that was the reason behind the little outburst. 

ever since lewis announced his departure from mercedes at the end of the 2024 season, the once positive relationship between the driver and his team principal was quickly deteriorating. frequent arguments about the car, snippy radio exchanges, and speculations from the press were only contributing to the snowball effect that was going to eventually lead to an inevitable avalanche. 

as lewis’ assistant, sometimes you wondered if you knew him better than he knew himself. over the years, you had practically learned everything under the sun about the british driver. of course, when he came back from qualifying a little quieter than usual, you figured something had happened in the paddock. 

you just couldn’t quite put your finger on what. 

often times, the two of you joked that you acted like an old married couple the way you bickered. yet, there was nothing as hurtful or spiteful as the exchange that happened minutes ago. part of you knew that he didn’t mean it, but part of you couldn’t let it go because of his inebriated state.

sometimes drunk words were just sober thoughts. 

“do you really think you don’t have to listen to me because of my status?” 

“no,” his voice is small, “i don’t think that.”

“then why did you say it?”

“i d-don’t know,” you can hear his voice falter, “i-i was just upset from earlier. i usually don’t lash out like that.”

a sniffle fills your ears, his chest heaving slightly. glancing up, you notice the glimmer of a tear as it slips down his cheek, the driver’s lip trembling.

“lewis,” the notes in your tone are gentle, “is everything okay?”

“no,” he shakes his head, “i-i’m sorry.”

“what’s wrong?”

“i do listen to you,” squeezing his eyes shut, he allows you to wipe away a tear, “i promise i listen to you. i don’t want you to ever feel like i don’t. i’m sorry, i’ve just had a lot on my mind lately and–”

“don’t worry about me,” tenderly, you caress his cheekbone with the pad of your thumb, “i promise that i will survive. maybe you can hook me up with someone on the grid, yeah?”

“i can’t do that.”

“why not?” you arch a brow. 

“because there is no one else i would want you with on that grid but me,” his eyes open, meeting yours, “i’m so upset because i hurt you. i have feelings for you, and seeing you hurt like that, it nearly split me into two.”

“lewis,” your breath hitches in your throat as he leans in, the tip of his nose brushing against yours, “i-i don’t know what you want me to say.”

“come on,” he tuts, “you know why you ended things with that guy. he was getting frustrated at how much time we were spending together. and in your heart, you know that you can’t stay away from me. the way you look at me, i know that you feel the same way. you wouldn’t learn how to do my favorite hairstyles if there wasn’t some sort of love there. you wouldn’t order my favorite food without asking if you didn’t care. you wouldn’t spend all of this time with me if you didn’t like me.”

“maybe i do, just a little bit.”

“only a little bit?” he cocks his head, “you can’t just admit you’re in love with me?”

“what if i was?”

“hmm,” he hums, his mouth only millimeters from yours, “i’d tell you i was in love with you too.”

“you would have to promise me something, though.”

“anything.”

“would you slow down a little on your lifestyle?” you inquire, slightly testing the waters to see how far you could go. 

“and what does that entail?” a hand finds its way to the base of your neck, warm and comforting as a breeze rolls through.

“would you quit going to the strip clubs? driving recklessly? living the fast life?”

“if it meant that it would make you happy and secure, yes,” the words are brimmed with authenticity, “i want to make you the happiest woman on earth. i’d do anything for you.”

“would you quit tomorrow?”

“oh love,” he chuckles, “i’ll quit this instant.”

“and i’ll keep taking care of you.”

“promise?” his voice softens, “you promise you’ll stick by my side? even after i leave mercedes?”

“i promise.”

the corners of his lips curl into a smug smirk, the driver leaning in even closer. 

“that only means we get to seal that promise with a kiss then, huh?”

[starsinmylatte]

I just saw your post on "Dr Ratio as a father" and wondered what you think it would be like if Aventurine met his baby son/daughter, because I think he would be like a rich uncle.

Anon, beloved, I have so many thoughts about this.

Aventurine very much has an inferiority complex and a desire to shower those he cares about with all the comforts he can provide, and he definitely cares about the Ratios and their unborn child. I think Veritas and his partner are two of the only people adjacent to the IPC who he can actually trust, and he's smart enough to realize that.

I also think that Aventurine’s upbringing will factor into this. With Sigonia having such a harsh, unforgiving climate, it's not unreasonable to assume that children would be a significant blessing in Avgin culture and a cause for major celebration. This only intensifies Aventurine’s desire to provide everything he can because he's also carrying on his cultural traditions by doing so. Hell, he’ll even try to buy expensive, luxurious things for Veritas’s pregnant partner until he's firmly shut down on that.

Veritas ratio x gender neutral reader below

Here’s one pre-birth situation that I can see happening:

One fine day, our beloved gambler decides to visit, and he walks in to find you and Veritas curled up on the couch, with papers and books neatly stacked around like a little cocoon of knowledge.

Veritas’s typical stern look is gone, replaced with a look of contemplative peace as he holds you against his chest, completely absorbed in the moment, “…and these specific beta hemoglobinopathies can now be repaired by-”

“What in the world are you subjecting your poor child to, Doctor?” The blonde man blinks and shakes his head, setting a small package down on your coffee table with a soft thunk.

Veritas scoffs at the intrusion, snapping the paper shut. “My voice. I'm ‘subjecting’ my child to my voice.”

You laugh fondly, rubbing the swell of your stomach. “The baby can't understand us yet, but they can hear and recognize our voices. That's the important thing.”

“Oh, that's actually rather sweet.” Aventurine hums contentedly. “Still, I'm assuming you can't read…. those papers to baby forever.”

“Mmmhmmm,” you agree absentmindedly, “We’ll need to look into more suitable books, Veri. If they're anything like we were, we’ll be going through quite a lot.”

Veritas chuckles lowly and you can feel the comforting rumble of his laughter against your back as one of his large hands envelops yours. “Of course, darling. They'll have as many books as they could ever want.”

The conversation continues from there, but Aventurine does not forget about that need. He searches and searches for the perfect baby books, and he proudly presents both parents with an entire set of those “Baby University” books.

Bonus: After baby is born, they're absolutely enamoured by all of the magic card tricks that Aventurine knows and he learns even more just to see the little one coo and grin at him.

Feel free to send me more dilf!Ratio thoughts 💜