#our boy is so versatile

[couldvebeenus]

They say only fools fall in love

[britneyshakespeare]

you know i'm usually the last person to have strong opinions on movie casting announcements but the idea of jacob elordi playing heathcliff stirs a fiery sense of indignation in my heart

[sharky-teeth]

top dean/bottom sam fics that perfectly exemplify why bottom sam is the best (the list got kind of super long because i'm just too passionate about this topic):

take the things you love by hathfrozen: i think everybody and their grandma knows this one but i had to include it, this is our gospel. literally changed my life.

mommy dearest by tradwifesam: if you don't like feminization, read this and see the vision.

Softly, as a morning sunrise by LaughableLament: one of my go-to authors for fun and short PWPs.

Noise Complaint by formalizing: a lesson on how to make a thousand words count!

Coast On Through by philalethia: this actually contains switching, but when i tell you it has some of the best samdean scenes ever...

Feel About the Same Most Every Day: pining that you can feel in your bones.

Like a Machine by ani_coolgirl: camboy!sam perfection.

Untouchable for Life by Sintari: another one for my camboy!sam enthusiasts.

Undertow by Molly: starts out angsty and ends with psychic sex vibes, what's not to love?

Birthday Boy by DickBaggins: sam's ass is dean's birthday present, need i say more?

Keeping it Clean by themegalosaurus: swesson filth <3

this thing, for which we break by orbiting_saturn: intense and intimate, as PWP as it comes.

Sweltering by WhoopsOK: brothers with benefits done right. slutty sam as a treat!

weecest:

With A Bit Of Spit And Luck by elsi: in my top 5 weecest of all time, which is saying something because the competition is crazy.

Bulletproof by road_rhythm: gunplay! incredible characterization, if you have a kink for guilty dean who's unable to stop himself, and pushy sammy, this is the one.

Heart of Worms by Ninni: very moody, and beautifully written.

Petulant by formalizing: another short read that hits all the right spots and leaves you wanting more.

and all is right in Dean's world by ladygizarme: loved dean's characterization here, he left me feeling unsettled.

for those like me who need some jokes with your p*rn:

The Koala Conundrum by De_Nugis: (mentions of switching) to this day, one of the most unique & refreshing stories i've read, an absolute masterpiece.

the one with aphrodisiac: this one managed to be hilarious and hot in equal measure, an amazing feat.

Incidentally, It Was Christmas by ani_coolgirl: one of my favorite fics of the year! ani's humor is impeccable! if you also believe in the sam-sexual dean truth, this is a must read.

Tongue-Tied by ADeedWithoutaName: cursed!dean unable to speak, and sam speaking for both of them, you know where this goes...

Dicks in a Box by fictionallemons: buried alive and how do sam and dean decide to spend their time? it ain't cuddling!

Versatile, Tender and Delicious by themegalosaurus: improper use of a zucchini. read and find out.

for my omega sam lovers:

Five Weeks & its sequel Three Weeks Too Late by rei_c: probably my favorite wincest a/b/o of all time! i could've read 100k of this universe, loved the details put into it.

A Blind Fool's Luck by hellhoundsprey: this is also a favorite! i remember the tension in this fic had me dizzy. this author has an incredible way with descriptions, vivid and unique writing style.

Phantom Pain by hellhoundsprey: weecest! love their dynamic here so much, great blending of a/b/o traits while keeping them in character.

Clover by hellhoundsprey: perfectly done late seasons getting together! with the right amount of schmoop. clearly this author is very dear to me lol

know the feeling by sammyatstanford: this is the longest work in this list, around 40k words, and so worth it! really enjoyed the worldbuilding.

now to my favorite flavor (bottom sam with a side of delicious angst):

Lesser Evils by Dyed_Red: [non-con] not for everyone, but definitely for me. if you love samdean at odds and suffering, this will push all the right buttons. life-changing fic.

Is It Tomorrow (Or Just the End of Time) by elsi: the angst here is so glorious. from beginning to end it's angst, angst, then more angst. there is no resolution to their issues, and i love that.

Collision Course by lovetincture: one of the most believable first time stories i've read, spot on characterization and raw descriptions. didn't shy away from the ugly side of incest.

You can run away with me any time you want by Trojie: sam leaving for stanford fic! oh this one hurts like a motherfucker. there's a line in here that's so beautiful, it lives in my brain.

his skin barely keeping him inside by hathfrozen: another banger by hathfrozen, i have a weak spot for first time in a long time stories.

No such thing as Forgiveness by hellhoundsprey: lawyer!sam getting his life sent off track when big brother comes back to the picture... the unhealthy dynamic here is to die for.

Blood sacrifice sex magic type of thing by Goshen: sam performing ritual sex to cure his demon brother... as he should.

Worship Not These False Idols by killabeez: ruby fucking sam while pretending to be dean. as amazing as it sounds.

Circles of Light by WhoopsOK: there is a "Magical Healing Ass" tag. enough said

end of list! i tried to only include works with less than 10k hits here, so someone might find something they haven't read before. i didn't include warnings, so definitely check out the tags first. all these fics are seriously amazing, i hope more people will read these gems <3

[llamagoddessofficial]

Swamp God Skull! I missed him a lot. Do you have any headcanons for when he likes the mc? Sorry if you have done them before. I can't find them, tumblr's search is very bad.

Oh, Anon, I missed him too. Our boggy boy. I'm riding high on inspiration from @desktopdinosaur's art.

For those who came to the party late, the Forest God boys are ancient and scary nature deities, who are in desperate need of someone to give them little kissy-wissies

He's shy. So, so shy. If he likes you and your path regularly takes you through his swamp, he will linger out of sight and watch you, hiding where the fog shrouds him almost entirely and moving between trees so his massive misshapen body is disguised in the maze of twisting trunks.

... Unfortunately, with that hulking body, single glowing eye and thousand-yard-stare, his 'shyness' can come across as unsettling at best and absolutely terrifying at worst. If you don't know he means no harm it's hard not to think he's a monster, and you're being stalked for dinner. Especially with the way he stares, once he knows you know he's there.

You'd think a God would have a little more confidence. But it's just been so long since he engaged with anyone - and especially with anyone he likes. Last time he spoke to a human he didn't hate people still rode around in horse-drawn wagons. What if he botches it? How many more years will he have to wait until he meets someone like you? Hundreds, probably

If you'd like to show him you don't mind his presence, just talk to him. You might not be able to see him, but trust me - if you're talking aloud in his swamp, he's listening.

The first sure sign Skull likes you (aside from the trailing) is that the bog very clearly likes you just as much as he does. You'll hear birds and frogs, you'll see newts and lizards, butterflies and dragonflies. Everything will smell mossy and soft rather than dank and rotten... water flowers will bloom in and around the path you take, sometimes literally filling your footprints from the day before. The whole place will feel so alive, so welcoming. Like your presence is bringing it back to life.

It'll also never be truly dark when you're there. In the day the sun is allowed to peek through the veil of fog, and at night, ghostly blue will-o-wisps light your way home. It probably makes you the only person who can follow the wisps in his swamp and live to tell the tale.

If you keep returning to the bog regardless of him following you, he'll start drumming up the courage to 'flirt'.

... It's mostly in very strange, ancient ways - incomprehensible carvings on trees you walk past, strange trinkets appearing in your pockets, hearing unearthly humming at dusk, your home never suffering from damp/mould, cats following you around. But some of his methods are more recognisably romantic. Like the big, beautiful white water lilies he leaves for you.

He also flirts with fireflies. They're versatile! He can make them hang around you, lighting up your face and eyes, distracting you while he admires how pretty you are. He also finds that humans tend to find him less scary when he has ambling fireflies drifting around him.

He's not got much to woo you with, really. He's a Swamp God, he hasn't got jewels and castles and silks. But he has got some pretty plants. Maybe, once he's sure enough that you won't run away in terror, he'll get the confidence to give you some flowers in person.

A massive ancient fae beast, bending down to offer you a slightly squashed water hyacinth... how could you not reciprocate?

[lovelyhan]

— promise ring ⟢

no one would've guessed that the daughter of the town’s royal mage has a soft spot for the clumsiest fire elemental in the entire realm. but when the crown prince suddenly asks for your hand in marriage, you're forced to consider how you feel about a certain lee jung chan a lot more seriously.

★ FEATURING; chan x reader (ft. joshua x reader)

★ WORD COUNT; 21k words

★ TAGS; fantasy, royalty, childhood friends, mutual pining, love triangle, LOTS of drama, jeonghan being a menace, slow burn, angst, smut

★ NOTES; full disclosure that the plot to porn ratio is probably 80:20 so if you're simply looking for filth, i might not recommend this,,, but if you're down for 20k words of slow burn childhood friends to lovers topped with a juicy love triangle with our best boy chan, then this should be perfect for you <3

this is part of the secret garden, a svthub spring collab and the it's complicated series!

★ SMUT TAGS; vanilla, lots of making out, unprotected sex, touch starved chan and reader, first time, body worship, dom/sub undertones, lots of loving n endearing language during the act bc they've pined for each other long Enough, corruption kink if you squint but chan doesn't rly act on it

★ TAGLIST; @cheolhub - @pretty-trustme - @just-here-to-read-01 - @idkmelkro - @dejavernon - @venusrae - @jeonghancvunt - @jyiiscool - @jiniesclub - @junhui-recs - @bldelaine - @featmia - @fruitzcup - @hoeforhao - @candidupped - @emmmui - @billboard-singer - @caratochan - @novalpha - @dahliatopia - @0717luv

When you wake up, it’s to a strange feeling that something big is going to happen today.

You open your eyes to radiant sunlight filtering into the room through a crack in the curtains. The songbirds chirp happily by the windowsill as the rest of the town prepares to meet the day head-on. You lie in bed for a few minutes more, wondering what’s causing your chest to stir with misplaced anticipation. None of the annual festivals are drawing near and you’re certain you haven’t forgotten anyone’s birthdays either.

The sensation carries over as you head to the Academy with your father. Being from the family who founded the school several decades ago, he makes it a point to uphold the legacy your ancestors have left behind. That includes being at the school grounds an hour before any of the formal magic classes are scheduled to start, apparently.

Some students arrive much earlier than both of you, practicing spells and incantations in the small quadrangle as a means of preparing for their assessments later in the day. You giggle to yourself when you spot one of the older mages—a water elemental named Seungmin—fumble with his technique a little. 

Whether intentionally or not, his friend, Changbin takes the brunt of it—his robes rendered sopping wet from the water that Seungmin had (accidentally?) blasted him with. Though it doesn’t take much to undo the damage since Changbin is easily one of the best fire elementals in the Academy. With one snap of his fingers, his clothes are instantly dry. 

There are times (like this) when you envy the versatility of fire magic. But your father once told you that the gods grant each person with their respective elements for a reason. Instead of questioning their grace, you must show your gratitude by mastering what you've been blessed with instead. 

Yours comes in the form of nurturing all the plants and flora you set your eyes on. It’s for this reason that you still bother to come to the Academy even if you’ve already completed its scholastic program over three years ago. 

Despite your father constantly insisting for you to find a job that suits your talents in the royal capital, you prefer to impart your magical knowledge to the other students in your hometown instead. 

In fact, you don’t miss the wistful look in his eyes as you part ways for the day—him to the headmaster's office and you to the greenhouse at the edge of campus.

As you direct yourself to your destination, that feeling from earlier is yet to subside. Though much more muted now that you’re surrounded by fellow mages both students and faculty alike, it still remains. Quiet yet foreboding, as if telling you not to let your guard down just yet.

So lost in your own thoughts, you startle at the sound of someone calling your name in the distance. 

“Thank goodness you’re here!” One of the junior mages, Chaewon groans before bracing her hands on her knees to catch her breath. “He’s done it again!” 

A worried smile stretches across your lips. Life in your hometown is but a cycle of doing the same things over and over everyday. You don’t particularly mind the monotone of your routine—you’re at peace with it, honestly—but if Lee Jung Chan keeps accidentally burning someone’s precious plants, you’re going to have to make a few changes.

Chaewon leads you to the crime scene swiftly, explaining how your best friend set fire to the monsteras she personally grew from little seedlings with an irritated pout. While you’re completely sympathetic to Chaewon's plight—being her mentor and all—you can’t help the soft laugh that bubbles in your chest at the story.

“Why are you laughing?” she whines. “You’re not gonna let him get away with it just ‘cause you’ve been friends since you were babies, right? I worked so hard to enchant those plants with exotic flowers!” 

The two of you arrive before you can issue an apology on Chan’s behalf. Not that your best friend wouldn’t have already expressed his remorse directly to Chaewon the moment the monsteras caught his flames. 

You can easily spot the repentance in his posture as Chan stands awkwardly outside the greenhouse. From the looks of it, he’s currently being lectured by a school instructor who’s also named Chan, though most of the students and staff call him Chris for easier identification. 

You’re certain that Chris has it all under control. Though you’re not sure how, since he’s a non-elemental mage. You can’t exactly see him putting out a fire with musical magic no matter how good he is, but you’re grateful for his intervention still. 

“I know you only wanted to help out, but Chaewon isn’t the headmaster’s daughter. She’s yet to learn how to properly foolproof her handiwork against clumsy fire elementals.” Chris sighs deeply, arms crossed with a serious look before his eyes catch yours from the distance. “Speak of the devil…”

One would expect Chan to be mortified at the sight of you. After all, he did just inadvertently fuck up Chaewon’s project for her elemental assessment this month. As her mentor, you have all the right to rain hell on earth in the name of your precious student, but the thing about you is that you can never get mad at Lee Jung Chan—no matter how badly he messes up sometimes.

“Hi,” he squeaks with a small wave. “I swear I was just watering Chaewon’s plants ‘cause they were looking kind of…dry.  I do it for you all the time right? But then a cat snuck inside the greenhouse and knocked over a bunch of pots from the high shelves. It scared the living daylights out of me and—”

“Chan, have you at least apologized to her?” you sigh, patting your student’s head while she shoots Chan a hard glare from where she’s hiding behind you. 

“O-Of course!” he stammers, hands flying everywhere in an attempt to express his damage control better. “I even asked Chris where I can get seeds so I can replace them for her! You know I never leave any debts unpaid.”

It’s difficult to keep your mask of professionalism in place when he’s being so unintentionally adorable. Right now, you’re one of the Academy’s respected alumni as well as an instructor that many students look up to. You wouldn’t make the mistake of fawning over your best friend while he explains his not-so-innocence, but that doesn’t mean it makes keeping up appearances any easier for you .

“I told him that BamBam sells everything under the sun at his shop in the next town over,” Chris informs you with a tight-lipped smile. “Though Chan might have to be careful when talking to that guy. He’s a bit…”

“Eccentric?” you supply.

“Exactly.”

“Can he do that now?” Chaewon huffs impatiently. “I was meaning to start another experiment after I made sure this one didn’t fall through, but I guess I’m back to square one.” 

You flash your student a placating stare, rubbing her back in soothing circles. “Hey, your next assessment isn’t until the end of the month, right? You don’t have to rush. Besides, I’ve been thinking about teaching you how to brew your own instant growth potion.”

The enticing promise of a new technique visibly piques Chaewon’s interest. She gasps, taking your hands in hers before letting out a loud shriek. “Really?! You’re really going to teach me that? You know there are no take-backs once you say it, right?”

“Yes, I know.” You chuckle. “Now go head off to class. You have Chris here for first period, right?”

Your student groans. “Yeah… I still don’t know why I took musical theory as an elective.”

“You talk like I’m the worst instructor among the school faculty,” Chris huffs before walking back to the path leading to the main building. “Come on, Chaewon. You’ll be late.”

“How can I be late if I’m with you, though?”

“If you don’t stop being smart with me, I’ll tell BamBam to switch your monstera seeds with venus flytraps.” 

As the two of them bicker all the way to the entrance, you’re left alone with your troublemaking best friend. Chan still has his shoulders set as if the guilt from his earlier actions is still fresh in his heart. You sigh, gesturing for him to follow you into the greenhouse before stepping inside the enclosure.

Out of all the projects you’ve dedicated to mastering your elemental magic, the Academy’s greenhouse is by far your most renowned feat. It started as a pipe dream during your first year of attendance and in your final year, you managed to convince the board of elder mages to build the greenhouse with the help of your father.

Of course, since he’s a royal mage—the town’s representative in the courts of the royal capital—you won’t deny that he might’ve pulled a few strings here and there to make your dreams a reality. 

(If you can recall correctly, you once heard Chaewon’s friend, Yunjin jokingly whisper something about nepotism during one of the on-field classes you held.)

But whatever the means, the greenhouse proved to be an effective medium for magic of varying affinities. Both elemental and non-elemental mages often stop by to test their ideas about innovative applications of their powers. 

Some water mages have tested if plants can purify contaminated samples from the upstream river. A spatial mage once tried to clone a bonsai tree by multiplying their cells in an exact mirror image. 

And your best friend often tests the limits of what he can and can’t do around all the flora—given his magical constitution.

“So I’m guessing you already forgive me?” Chan asks with a sheepish smile on his face. “I promise I’ll just help out somewhere else when you’re not around. Baekho’s been inviting me to the magical combat wing a lot these days, but I need to think about it first ‘cause…you know.”

You do know. And out of every single person who knows Lee Jung Chan, you like to think that you understand his predicament better than anyone else.

Both of you started studying at the Academy at the same time, but you’re the only one who got to graduate after senior year. This made Chan ineligible for any sort of teaching position, since official employment required being an alumnus of any recognized magic school in the realm. The most he can be offered is a spot as a teaching aide and none else.

You’re well aware that because of that smudge on his track record, coupled with his clumsy tendencies, people often assume that Chan is a failure of a mage. A fire elemental who has no idea how to wield his own flames.

But what they don’t know is that in terms of raw power alone, even your father agrees that Chan surpasses every single student that’s ever had the pleasure to graduate from this school. The reason he can’t control his own flames is because of how potent they are. How powerful and all-consuming they can be if kept unchecked.

Your father once offered to bring him to one of his friends in the southern cities—someone who can help Chan tame his powers in ways he failed to guide him to. But your best friend declined, insisting that someone who can’t control their own flames doesn’t deserve the time and hospitality of anyone outside your hometown.

To this day, you still haven’t forgotten the resignation in his voice as he said the words. Like he’s so certain that all he deserves is to be some aberration kept in the shadows. You’ve always hated it whenever he sells himself short, but it’s not as if you can do anything about it if he’s so complacent with where he is now.

“Hey? You’re spacing out on me all of a sudden.”

You blink, nonplussed by Chan’s voice despite the fact that you’ve been standing with him inside the greenhouse for over five minutes. He’s posed a respectable distance away from any of the potted plants and flowers in the vicinity—standing so still, you almost find it funny.

“What made you drop by so early in the morning anyways?” you ask in an attempt at small talk. Your first class of the day doesn’t start until an hour, so you can afford to squander some time. “Don’t you usually get out of bed at noon?” 

“Hey, I get out of bed at eleven!” He insists as if that’s any better. “But anyways, the reason I showed up so early is because someone made a wrong delivery to my house. Ma was so surprised to see a huge crate at our doorstep, but she was even more surprised to see it was addressed to you.”

…A delivery? For you?

“What do you mean?” you wonder, head craned with confusion. “What was inside? Did it say who it was from?”

Chan shakes his head before pointing at the far end of the greenhouse. There, you see the massive wooden crate he must be talking about. “A bunch of flowers in a plant box with no return address. Maybe it’s one of those scholars from the capital who want you to study them again? You did work on a research project about hydrangeas last month right?” 

Strange flower delivery aside, you gape at him—heart fluttering at his thoughtfulness. “You remember that?” 

“Of course I do,” he says easily. “Now are you going to check out the crate so you can tell me what those flowers are or are we gonna stand in the middle of all these highly flammable plants all day?”

You don’t even bother asking how Chan managed to transfer such a huge thing from his house to the greenhouse. He must’ve asked help from Mingyu, another instructor’s aide who does a lot of heavy lifting around the school. Or maybe he even roped Baekho into this whole thing.

Either way, as soon as you open the mystery package, it’s as Chan described it: a plant box brimming with an assortment of flowers arranged in a way only professionals can put together. All the vibrant blooms are expertly placed so that one wouldn’t outshine the other and whoever sent this, they’ve certainly earned your approval. 

“So which is which?” Chan wonders as he peeps inside the crate again.

“Well,” you start, hands tracing each flower delicately. “This one is called a primrose, the dark pink ones are chrysanthemums, while the dantier flowers are carnations.”

As you explain how different they are from the other, it’s hard to miss how Chan struggles to keep himself from reaching into the crate to touch them. You feel kind of bad, but you know he’s only holding himself back because he doesn’t want to unintentionally start another fire. 

“What do they mean? In the language of flowers?” he wonders. “You always go on and on about how each one has its own special meaning. What about these guys?”

You ponder on it for a moment, actively recalling what you’ve been taught. “Hm. Primroses usually represent youth and optimism. Chrysanthemums are for friendship, and carnations…”

When its meaning flits to the forefront of your mind, your eyes widen as an abrupt realization hits you in the next moment. Your gaze drifts back to the flowers as Chan patiently waits for you to continue, and that’s when you notice something strange inside. 

Tucked in the middle of the assortment of lush flowers is a small envelope that wasn’t there before. The flap is enclosed with a familiar wax seal: the royal family’s crest. 

You’ve seen your father open enough letters from them to recognize the sigil pressed into the bright red wax, but you’ve never once received one for yourself. 

“Carnations signify fascination. Love,” you continue, swallowing the lump in your throat. “But I’m sure whoever sent these doesn’t know all that. They could’ve just picked these out because they’re pretty to look at together.”

Chan looks unconvinced. “Why don’t you open the envelope? I’m just guessing here, but maybe it was made to respond to your magic specifically? It would explain why it didn’t appear when I first checked the flowers out.”

For all his foolishness, he might actually be on to something this time.

But instead of brimming curiosity, that bothersome sensation from earlier surfaces again. It cloys in your chest, stirring your heart with trepidation before sinking like a stone in the pit of your stomach. 

Your hands go clammy as you inspect the envelope as if it’s hiding a beast so it could swallow you whole. The royal family hasn’t given you any reason to even be remotely wary of them, but your reluctance refuses to waver.

In the end, you choose to brush it off, picking at the seal until it detaches from the envelope. When you take out what’s inside, the familiar scent of rich red roses laces the fine parchment. 

It’s fairly easy to figure out who the sender is after that.

The greenhouse falls silent as you read through the letter’s contents. You’re acutely aware of Chan’s equally engrossed stare, but with each passing second, you grow more and more cognizant of the fact that this is definitely the reason why you awoke so keyed up first thing in the morning.

“Prince Joshua, huh?” He whispers somewhat disbelievingly before turning to you with curious eyes. “I figured you were friends since your father brings you along to the royal balls so often. Didn’t think he was this into you though.”

You didn’t either. You can hardly call the prince who’s second in line to the throne your friend, much more, a romantic prospect. Sure, Joshua is always hospitable whenever he catches you nursing a drink in the ballroom before asking for a dance, but you never would’ve imagined he harbored those kinds of feelings for you. 

What’s more is, though you came from a highly regarded lineage of mages, there isn’t a drop of royal blood in your veins. But here he is, asking you to be his fiancée all while giving you the prettiest flowers you’ve ever received.

“Do you think it could be a mistake?” you mumble, reading over the letter once more to make sure you aren’t dreaming.

Chan rolls his eyes. “Look, that’s clearly your name he mentioned at the top. And don’t you think that someone as important as Prince Joshua will be more careful about sending out gestures of grandeur? He can’t just give any beautiful girl flowers, you know.”

His words shouldn’t faze you as much as they do. It’s always been easy for Chan to compliment people when the chance arises and he’s called you beautiful dozens of times before. Sometimes teasingly, more often genuinely. 

It’s so strange. The most sought-after man in the kingdom just asked for your hand in marriage, but here you are—heart doing somersaults all because of your best friend’s easy admission.

Oh, heavens, you muse to yourself as Chan goes off on a tangent about how you’re mandated to get him front row seats to the wedding. 

This is going to be difficult.

“That’s good news!”

When you dragged Chan to your father’s office once all your classes for the day were finished, you expected him to at least mull over Joshua’s abrupt proposal a little longer. It’s not that he was strict about the men you let in your life, but he looks much too elated for someone whose daughter is on the brink of being married off to someone else.

Well. When that ‘someone else’ is Prince Joshua, you think the proposal holds more weight than it otherwise would with any other commoner.

“But I don’t understand,” you tell him, chewing the inside of your cheek. “Why does Prince Joshua want to marry me all of a sudden? He hasn’t expressed any sort of romantic interest in me before, so why…?”

Your father chuckles from behind his desk, one finger guiding the drink from his glass with magic so he can spin it around in circles. Water elementals can be so strange at times. 

“If I told you the prince has felt the way he claims in his letter for a good few years now, would it help you consider the proposal better?” he asks before putting the stream of wine he’s playing with back to its proper place. 

“Wait a moment,” Chan pipes up from his seat. “Are you saying he’s been in love with her for a long time now?” 

“Well, I’m not sure of the specifics, but the prince informed me of his affections a few months ago to seek my approval,” your father explains before leaning back into his seat to cast you a fond stare. “But I told him that regardless of what I think about the whole ordeal, the final decision isn’t up to me at all.” 

The weight of their stares suddenly falls on your form.

You swallow thickly, having known all this time that your father wouldn’t possibly push you to go through with the proposal despite how happy it made him. It’s not that you don’t think Joshua is suitable to be your husband, but…

“Isn’t he taking things a bit too fast?” you ask dryly. “He could at least court me first—”

“My sweet girl, you know the way things work at the castle are much different from how they are in this small town of ours,” your father sighs. “You’ve heard about the royal assimilation period, yes?”

You have. It’s a sort of probationary period imposed on non-royals who wish to marry into the family. You know of a few acquaintances who had to spend a full year in the castles of other kingdoms without setting foot outside the premises during its entirety. At the time, you found the idea of isolation dreadful and that you can’t ever see yourself being in their place.

Now here you are, at the brink of being tied down to a prince you barely even know.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t spend a chunk of your day thinking about the pros and cons of marrying into the royal family. Becoming princess consort means you’ll be given a voice in the political court of the castle. Though your father does just fine in representing your hometown as its royal mage, being part of the regency itself grants you more authority over the decisions being made for the kingdom’s sake.

The thought of being able to improve the quality of life in your hometown as well as bringing more adequate funds for the Academy makes the offer all sorts of tempting. This is the place that made you who you are today, and you’d want nothing more than to give back however you can. 

Plus, the thought of being married to Prince Joshua isn’t as daunting as it was when you found his letter hidden between the flowers he’d given. Since you had the whole work day to think about it, you managed to get over the initial dread and actually consider how having him as a partner would be.

His reputation as the kingdom’s most esteemed gentleman precedes him even in other places. It was once a popular opinion that Joshua would marry and settle down much sooner than his older brother, Jeonghan simply because of how adored he is among the people. Yet he’s already halfway through his twenties without any prospective partners.

Until now.

“I think you should accept his proposal.”

It shocks you that Chan is the one who tells you that. You stare at him with glaring disbelief while your father merely raises an eyebrow with mild interest before his lips break into a grin. “See? Even Chan over here agrees. I know it’s a bit much to suddenly become the fiancée of someone so important, but you’ll get to know each other better during the assimilation period anyways.”

Chan nods in agreement. “Besides, we can still visit you every now and again, right?”

The smile on your father’s face falls. “Oh, about that… Prospective royals aren’t allowed to entertain visitors that aren’t immediate family until the assimilation period concludes. But you can send letters if you end up missing each other too much.”

Your father says the words in such a light-hearted manner, you’re sure he didn’t say them in jest. He knows how close you and Chan have been since childhood; knows how important he is to you. If you accept Joshua’s proposal and whisk yourself off to the castle, it would be the longest you’ve gone without seeing your best friend in your entire life.

With Chan added to the equation, you realize that it’s not your level of familiarity with Joshua that makes you so reluctant to go through with it, nor is it the idea of being isolated from the outside for an entire year. 

It’s the fact that you won’t be able to meet Chan for its entirety.

“Well, it’s not like it’s something you have to decide on right away,” your father interjects when he senses that the atmosphere has dipped. “I’ll keep in touch with the prince about the whole thing, but I’m sure he’d like you to take your time anyways. This is a lifelong commitment we’re talking about after all.”

This is ridiculous. Well, not as ridiculous when you remember you’re now of marriageable age and the prince has been harboring feelings for you for longer than you thought. 

Still… 

When you look at Chan, you half-expect him to at least comment on your father’s words, but he merely grins as if he’s completely on board with the idea.

Yet you can’t help but notice how that smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

You end up accepting Joshua’s proposal a week later.

From what you could tell when he responded to your letter, the prince was ecstatic. He went into great detail about how he promises to make the entire assimilation process comfortable for you and that he can’t wait to have you at the castle. What makes the entire exchange all the more endearing is the fact that he’s genuinely apologetic about the abruptness of his proposal and that he honestly didn’t expect for you to agree.

You didn’t either.

If Joshua was ecstatic, your father was over the moon. When you informed him that you’re exchanging correspondences with the prince about the entire arrangement, he was quick to put together a farewell party when the final date of your assimilation period has been set in stone. 

In other words, the past month was extremely busy for you. It consisted of several back and forth trips to the royal capital so you and Joshua could get all the paperwork involved done together. He’s just as sweet and accommodating as you remember—making the whole process less intimidating than it’s supposed to be. The more time you spend with the prince and soon-to-be-fiance, the less nervous you are for what’s to come.

The anxiety finally wears off by the time your farewell party comes around. Your father made sure to invite close friends and family as well as a few of his students and yours. Chaewon was in tears at the news that another mentor is going to be assigned for her because of the circumstances, but you promised to keep in touch when you come back.

Although once you’ve had your final conversations with most of your guests, you start to feel how wary you are from interacting with so many people at once. Eyes scanning through the small venue your father rented for the occasion, you attempt to look for a single person—a pout tugging at your lips when you can’t find him amidst the crowd.

No one knows Lee Jung Chan better than you do, so you’re right on the money when you venture out to the nearby river—immediately spotting him sitting alone by the banks.

You can only guess how many stones he’s already skipped across the stream, but Chan doesn’t even flinch as you settle down beside him, pulling your legs to your chest so you can rest your chin on your knees.

“You haven’t come here in a while,” you murmur quietly. “Something on your mind?”

“Mmm.” His eyes are pulled straight forward as if still lost in thought. You sigh before opting to stew in the sound of the flowing river—gazing at the slowly setting sun in the far horizon.

It hits you at that moment just how much you’ll miss him. Quiet afternoons with your best friend have become few and far in between ever since you started teaching at the Academy. Now that you’re Joshua’s fiancée, you don’t even know if you’ll ever get to watch sunsets with him like this again. The thought fills you with that same sinking feeling that you only learned to overlook recently and it must show on your face because Chan is quick to turn to you with a curious look on his face.

“You nervous?” he asks. 

You shake your head. “Not really.”

“Then why do you look so…”

“So?”

“I don’t know…that.”

“You have to be specific, Chan.”

He huffs, taking another stone from a pile he collected at his side before skipping it across the water. “Well, you look like the way you did before your first magical assessment. Remember when the headmaster called me to sleep over because you were practically shaking with anxiety? Even if you’re literally from the best sorcerer family in the city?”

“Hey! Just because my father is good at everything doesn’t mean I am too!”

“But you don’t have to be good at everything.” Chan smiles and you’re unprepared for how your heart lurches at how breathtaking he looks. “You just have to be yourself.”

A pause hovers in the midst of the conversation and you can feel the heat starting to creep up your cheeks. If your best friend notices, he doesn’t let you know.

“I remember that you aced that assessment. Scored highest in our entire year too,” he recalls with a hint of fondness. “I think you’ll do just fine in that assimilation period. Wait, no. I know you will.”

You’ve always admired how easy it is for Chan to uplift others, despite the harsh words some people have used to put him down countless times. It’s like he soaks up the negativity in his life and lets it all out in a more productive manner. 

The steady flowing stream rings in your ears as the silence sets yet again, heart threatening to beat out of your ribcage as you drink in the sight of your best friend. Rays of muted sunlight filter through the trees onto his face and it makes the kind grin on his face glow even brighter.

Chan lets out a choked up sound when you immediately pull him in for a hug. He’s speechless for a couple of seconds—wondering what on earth got into you. In the end, he lets out a defeated sigh and returns your embrace with twice as much affection. 

“Sounds to me like you’re perfectly okay with marrying off your best friend to some guy,” you murmur jokingly, breathing in his scent like it’s your last. Burnt sugar and just a hint of musk. 

He laughs and the sound vibrates across your skin. “Prince Joshua is not some guy. And why wouldn’t I be happy that you’ll be married to such a great person? He can give you everything, you know? Even if I used to give all the dudes who got close to you back then a lot of shit, I know the prince will make you happy.”

Happy…

That’s something you haven’t really considered ever since you and Joshua started making the preparations for your assimilation. He’s a good prince who values his people over his own interests and he’s also a gentleman that always considers your input in every step. 

But not once did it ever occur to you that marrying him would equate to your own happiness.

The thought fills you with shame—especially knowing how much Joshua has done for you for the past month. You tell yourself that maybe it’s because you still don’t know him that well; that you just need a little more time before you can think of him as a person who can make you genuinely happy and not just someone who you have to marry for the sake of your town.

If there is someone who makes you feel that way without breaking a sweat, however…

Chan shoots you a puzzled look when you break away, rising back to your feet all while tugging at his arm. Still, he lets you pull him up—a determined look settling across your features.

“Follow me.”

During weekends, the Academy only grants entry to both students and faculty until mid-noon. But luckily for you, you’ve spent years sneaking into the greenhouse when you were still carefully cultivating all the plants you have on display.

Chan voices out his concern when you bring him inside, muttering something about trespassing on school territory but he tails you from behind anyway. 

The plant box full of dazzling flowers he brought a month ago isn’t here anymore—having been planted safely in the garden of your house. In its place is a brand new shipment of flowers you ordered from BamBam about two weeks ago.

Chan hasn’t seen them yet since he’s made it a point to avoid the greenhouse while Chaewon is in the middle of her experiments. But the curiosity in his eyes shines when you show them to him.

“These are called forget-me-nots,” you say, a warm smile tugging at your lips. “They aren’t that rare, but…they’ve always been my favorite. The first time I saw them was in a forest near the southern cities, where Father taught me the names of all kinds of trees and flowers.”

Chan nods with an expression that tells you he doesn’t quite get it, but is happy for you nonetheless. You stifle a laugh and his face immediately reddens as he clears his throat. “Um, why’d you ask BamBam for these though? They look kind of…simple compared to everything else you already have here.”

“It’s because they’re so simple that they stood out to me, silly,” you chuckle. “That forest was teeming with the most exotic plant life I’ve seen. Flowers of all shapes and colors, trees that grew up to the clouds… Even in such an abundant forest, simple flowers like these grew unassumingly by the side—still thriving despite being considered inferior.”

When you stare at Chan, you realize how much these flowers remind you of him. And it’s for that reason that you’re about to ask him a huge favor.

“Can you take care of them for me while I’m gone?” you whisper—voice carrying a hopeful tone. “I know it’s a tall request but—”

“Are you kidding? Nothing’s ever a tall request from you.” He huffs. “Of course I’ll do it.”

Your mouth hangs slightly agape—not expecting Chan to agree to it so easily. It takes you a moment to pick up your train of thought, but when you do, you break into an even wider grin. 

“Really? Notorious plant-killer Lee Jung Chan is agreeing to take care of a bunch of flowers for an entire year?” you tease. 

“Hey, you’re the one who asked, so why are you suddenly questioning my credibility?” The pout on his face just makes you want to tease him even more. “I’m probably going to end up burning a few of them by accident, but I won’t be seeing you for a long time. This is the least I can do while I wait for you to come back, right?”

You are going to miss him so much, it makes your heart hurt.

Unlike earlier, Chan immediately reciprocates the hug you pull him into. You bury your face in the crook of your neck, ingraining the scent of him in your mind so that you’ll never forget your best friend even if you tried.

“I’ll come back for them in the spring,” you whisper. 

Chan hums, his thumb tracing idle shapes along your shoulder blades. “Is that a promise?”

It feels like forever before you break away from him, but when you do, the desolate feeling you got from the thought of being apart from him goes up in smoke. Chan raises an eyebrow when you reach into the plant box to pluck two forget-me-nots from the soil—enchanting the blooms with your magic so the stems could morph into rings.

One for you and one for Chan.

“It’s a promise.”

“Miss, you’ve got a letter again.”

You’re in the middle of reading up on a compilation of the kingdom’s annual state of affairs when your handmaiden, Sakura, finds you in the castle gardens. She gathers her skirts with one hand while the other carries an unassuming envelope. It’s routine at this point.

“Thank you, Kkura,” you murmur before flashing her a warm smile. “Has Prince Joshua returned yet?”

She shakes her head. “The peace talks between the four kingdoms are taking much longer than anticipated. Although he and Prince Jeonghan should be back by tomorrow, if what the socialites are gossiping about in the main plaza are true.”

You stifle a soft laugh. “I bet Prince Jeonghan’s stirring up trouble in a foreign court as we speak.”

“You can say that again,” Sakura agrees with a withering sigh. “One of the reasons the king won’t easily let Prince Jeonghan take his place is because of his constant deviance. I’d bet my salary that he was just waiting for Prince Joshua to take up a wife before handing him the crown instead.”

“Kkura, the others might hear,” you scold, but there’s a chuckle wedged between the words. “Well, if a miracle happens and they arrive home earlier than expected, you know where to find me.”

“You’re very diligent about reading, aren’t you, miss?” She comments, impressed. “I know a couple of princess consorts in the making, but you’re probably the only one who cares to read about the technicalities of running a kingdom. Most of them are only in it for the chance to marry into a royal family.” 

“Those waiting for me back home wouldn’t be very proud if I only leeched off my engagement with Prince Joshua,” you say a-matter-of-factly.

“You mean your father?”

There’s a pause in the conversation—one long enough for you to suddenly be cognizant of several things at once. The water running from a nearby fountain. Birds chirping before migrating into their nests for the night. In the silence, you let your eyes wander to the rings in your fingers.

A diamond engagement ring that probably costs more than what you’ve earned in your entire life on your ring finger and a bright blue forget-me-not wrapped around your pinky.

Right. Sakura doesn’t know about… 

“Yes,” you tell her, but there’s hesitation in your voice that you hope she won’t hear. “He’s been very thorough about giving me advice on how to make the best decisions for a lot of people.”

“As expected of a royal mage,” she sighs, “Oh well, I’ll leave you be, miss. If your father is as thorough as you say he is, then I can only imagine what he’s written in that new letter.”

Well, she’s not exactly wrong.

After exchanging farewells, Sakura bows her head with a practiced curtsy—saying something about supper being ready in an hour or two before leaving you to your own devices. When you find yourself all alone once more, you rip open the envelope with a hint of excitement buzzing on your fingertips. 

It’s been about three months since you’ve left your hometown and started your assimilation period. During those three months, you were constantly fed with a multitude of information that comes with being part of the regency. From etiquette classes to foreign relations—your teachers all expected you to take everything they told you to heart. 

While the process sounds much too tedious, especially for someone who’s quite literally stuck here for another nine months, Joshua always took it upon himself to make sure you wouldn’t feel too bored with all the stringent formalities. 

He’s wonderful company—never running out of stories to tell. From childhood embarrassments at the hands of his older brother to his own share of mischief that’s always overshadowed by the gravity of Jeonghan’s, Joshua kept you constantly entertained.

Your fiancé even suggested that the two of you sneak out into the city sometime just so he could show you that pub near the outskirts that he enjoys frequenting while undercover as an ordinary citizen. Of course, the offer sounded tempting at first, but you rightfully declined out of respect for both the royal family and the tradition that has kept the kingdom going for so long.

However, Joshua isn’t always here to keep you company. Being one of the most important figures in the kingdom, he and Jeonghan are regularly called in and out of the castle to attend to some business that their parents are too busy to sneak into their own schedules. 

It’s during your fiancé’s bouts of absence that you look forward to your next form of entertainment—all the letters sent from home.

Just as you’ve told Sakura, your father accommodates all your questions about ruling over one’s constituents as much as he can—telling you to pay attention to the needs of the people above all else.

But aside from the detailed notes he leaves you with, there’s always another letter wedged inside the envelopes he sends to the castle every fortnight.

Hey.

How are you? Has the prince been treating you well, still? Sorry I couldn’t write to you last time. Training’s been hell and Jongkook hasn’t let me breathe for the past week. When the headmaster told me that becoming that guy’s apprentice wasn’t going to be easy, I didn’t think he was that serious. It’s a miracle I haven’t gotten third degree burns from all this temperature training.

Things are a little a lot different in the southern cities compared to home. Everyone is as mean as they could be. Jongkook called it the survival of the fittest and I kind of get where he’s coming from. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to see someone smiling every now and again, right? It’s a good thing I’m allowed to go home every week, or else my sanity would’ve disappeared before we could even see each other again.

About your flowers: have I told you that Chaewon’s helping me maintain them whenever I’m away? We’ve buried the hatchet and agreed to look after your forget-me-nots together! But she kind of emphasized that she’s doing this for you and not because she’s completely forgiven me for the monstera incident. But hey, progress is progress, right?

I checked them out personally when I got home today. They seemed more vibrant than usual. Almost like they’re happy to know I’m back. Seeing them made me think how I’d probably feel when your assimilation period is over. Ah, but I’m running out of parchment to write on. Sorry about that. There isn’t much going on with me anyways. 

Tell me about your classes when you write back, yeah? You also mentioned a pub that Prince Joshua wanted to sneak you into last time. Did you go through with it? Did you have fun? I can’t wait to hear from you so the story better be exciting!

P.S. If the prince himself encourages you to sneak out of the castle, would you consider doing that so we can wander around the main plaza sometime?

P.P.S. That was a joke, by the way. Don’t have the royal guard arrest me. 

P.P.P.S. But if you’re up for it, I wouldn’t say no.

Chan writes his letters the same way he talks in real life. You can almost hear his voice inside your head as you go through every word. You’re glad that he still has enthusiasm to spare over receiving tutelage from someone as important as Kim Jongkook, but even you can tell that his training is no walk in the park. 

There were tears in your eyes when he first broke the news. You thought he’d spend his entire life without getting the proper guidance he needs to hone his powers. But a month after your departure, Chan quickly kept you up to speed about his newfound mentor with a promise that he’ll be the best fire elemental in your hometown by the time you got back.

But with how he bemoans the rigorous training in his letters, you ponder if he sometimes gets hit with the thought of quitting halfway. While his excruciating routines are a far cry from the year’s worth of assimilation classes you’re required to attend, you like to think that you and Chan have a similar threshold for the things you’ll willingly bear without complaints. 

Though you’ve already accustomed yourself with your life at the castle, it’s a no-brainer to say you’d choose to leave for home in a heartbeat if given the chance. But your conscience won’t let you entertain the idea for too long, especially knowing how much you owe it to your hometown to persevere until the end.

That’s why even if you’d want nothing more than to see your best friend, you decidedly draw a fine line between your responsibilities and your heart’s desires. You want so badly to meet Chan again even if that means sneaking past the royal guards, but you’ve never really been one to bend and break the rules for selfish reasons like that. 

Instead, you tuck your best friend’s letter away in the envelope beside your father’s. Nothing but the sound of the water spilling from the fountain rings in your ears. 

As you stare at the pretty blue flower tied at the base of your pinky, you wonder for the hundredth time if you’ve made the right decision at all.

Prince Joshua is easy to love.

By your sixth month in the castle, you can genuinely say that you’ve at least developed a kind of attachment to the prince that borders on romantic. He’s handsome, thoughtful, kind, and many other traits that would only quantify him as a perfect husband. 

Jeonghan regularly catches your gaze lingering several seconds too long on your fiancé every suppertime and it’s no surprise that the eldest prince would tease you to the ends of the earth for it. Saying something along the lines of if you’re already making moony eyes at him now, what more when you finally tie the knot?

It’s something that always flusters you no matter how many times Jeonghan brings it up. But it’s not because you’re embarrassed about what you feel for Joshua. It mostly stems from the fact that you don’t know what to feel for him.

Despite having lived under the same roof for six months, you’re still unsure of where your heart stands when it comes to Joshua. It’s a standstill of emotions that frustrates you to no end. You know nothing will be lost if you just surrender to your budding feelings, but it’s like there’s something always holding you back. 

When the king hosts an overdue gala in the castle, you finally realize what it is.

It’s been more than half a year since they last held one within the premises out of respect for your ongoing assimilation. But now that you’ve passed the six-month mark, the royal court deemed it appropriate to give you more exposure to social functions such as this.

You’re understandably nervous for your first public appearance as Prince Joshua’s fiancée. Sakura has told you about how ruthless the kingdom's nobles could be when it comes to unearthing other people’s business. But your handmaiden assured you there’s nothing to worry about since you’ve done flawlessly with your classes since day one.

So there you are in front of the ballroom, arm linked with Joshua’s as the queen introduces you to every single noble in attendance. You wonder if the prince can tell just how nervous you are but you can at least hope that your smile can convince a hundred other strangers otherwise.

“Hey,” he whispers—eyes still riveted towards the crowd.

“What?”

“You don’t have to be so uptight.”

You try your best not to make a face. “Easy for you to say, Mister I’ve-been-attending-galas-since-I-was-in-the-womb.”

Joshua chuckles softly. “But you’ve been attending these frequently, too. That’s how we met, remember?” 

“Yeah, but I’ve never been the center of attention!”

“Well…” He pauses before shifting his gaze towards the crowd—his mother’s sweet voice echoing throughout the ballroom as she tells everyone how excited she is to welcome you to the family soon. “If it helps, there’s a certain someone in the crowd that’s definitely rooting for you.”

Your confusion visibly shows on your face before you follow his line of sight. You knew your father would be in attendance as is required of all royal mages, but it’s not him that you spot in the crowd.

It’s Chan.

He’s a lot different than you remember—looking much too dapper to pass as the boy you knew as your best friend. He’s donned in expensive-looking garbs, the maroon silk of his tunic hanging loosely off his frame. His hair is slicked back and styled in a way that would make anyone think he was from one of the noble houses. Even the manner he’s holding a glass of champagne looks way too sophisticated for someone you frequently teased for his lack of etiquette and—

There’s a woman hanging off his arm. A woman you don’t know, but looks just as breathtaking as any maiden inside this damn ballroom.

Who is she? Chan has never mentioned any new friends in his letters. Hell, he didn’t even tell you he was going to be here tonight. Instead of feeling at peace with the fact your best friend is finally in front of you like Joshua assumed, all it does is stir a plethora of unpleasant feelings in the pit of your stomach.

“Now that we’ve got the formalities out of the way,” the queen says with a smile—snapping you out of your trance, “how about we let our stars of the night lead the first dance? I know the lot of you have missed our parties. On behalf of the royal family and your future king and queen, we hope you’ll enjoy this night of music and liquor. Have a good evening, everyone.”

Forcing yourself not to think about how the queen just referred to you and Joshua as the kingdom’s future king and queen, you let your fiancé lead you to the dancefloor. Joshua is careful as ever as he helps you down the polished marble steps—that handsome smile never leaving his face. You feel like your heart would’ve fluttered as the two of you exchange the opening bows, but your heartbeat is all over the place knowing Chan is here watching everything unfold.

“You remember what we practiced, right?” Joshua murmurs as the orchestra starts the song. 

“U-Uh, yeah,” you stammer—hoping your hands aren’t sweating through your silk gloves. “I won’t step on your toes anymore. Promise.”

“That’s my girl.”

His smooth-talking is not doing you any favors, but you try to dance the same way you practiced with for weeks. The thing about Joshua is that he always makes things easier for you—be it your engagement or some opening dance his parents requested for you to do. He’s so unbelievably accommodating that your initial nervousness easily falls away as the music continues to fill the ballroom.

You only notice that the other guests have already paired up with their own partners on the dancefloor when Joshua twirls you around and hands you over to a noble gentleman you find vaguely familiar. He grins at you when he receives his next dance partner, mouthing “You can do it,” before he spins her away. 

This is the part that you barely rehearsed for. Joshua simply told you to have fun and the rest will come easily. His unhelpful advice threw you off a little, since you were so accustomed to doing things by the book—to abiding by the rules that have been set. 

Your current partner—Hyunjin, as he introduced himself—seems to pick up on your nervousness.

“You’re the kid of one of the royal mages, right?” he asks. “I’m the same. You’ve done this partner exchange thing before, haven’t you? I’ve seen you around a few times in the past.” 

You laugh dryly. “Yeah, but I’m just really nervous today.”

Hyunjin laughs. “Understandable. Don’t think about it too much and just let the music guide you through it.”

Well that’s easier said than done. The noblemen in the kingdom must have some sort of dance class where they’re taught to just take it easy because that’s definitely something you can picture Joshua saying to you as well. 

But as the orchestra continues to play song after song, you find your initial inhibitions ebbing away with each partner that passes. Hyunjin is right—you have done this before and you’re slowly remembering how fun it feels to dance with strangers in the middle of the castle’s ballroom. 

As the last few songs start to play, there’s no trace of nervousness left to be seen on your face. You’re finally in your element.

Until you finally find yourself in the arms of the same person who amplified your anxiety in the first place.

“Hey,” Chan greets with a soft smile as he fits one hand over your waist and entwines the other with yours. “I thought I’d never be able to get to you.”

You spend a couple of seconds just gawking at him, but your body thankfully still moves to the rhythm. Chan has the gall to stifle a laugh at your reaction and you nearly step on his foot on purpose.

“What are you doing here?” you hiss as he twirls you around. 

“Whoa. Don’t get so worked up. The headmaster invited me, so my presence here is completely legal,” he responds, that stupid smile never leaving his face. “Anyway, you look beautiful tonight.” 

“Thanks, but you could’ve at least told me you’ll be here!”

“Now where’s the fun in that?”

You want to snap at him and scold him for taking you by surprise like that. Part of you kind of wants to ask about his date for the night too, but past the frustration, you’re still glad to see him. It’s been too long and you know you have lots of catching up to do in person. So instead of an endless barrage of questions, you simply bask in the feel of being in your best friend’s safe hands after going so long without him.

You lose yourself to the music. At that moment, it’s as if you and Chan are the only two people in the world—contained in your own little bubble. When your gaze lands on the hand clasped with yours, your heart soars at the fact that he’s still wearing the ring you gave to him all those months ago.

A forget-me-not at the base of his pinky—much like your own.

“I’m not sure if I can steal you away for a quick chat after this so…” He purses his lips together as if he’s unsure of what to say. “You’re doing great. The queen seems enamored with you from what I could tell from her speech, so I hope you won’t put yourself down like you always do. You’ll be the best princess consort ever.

“And you seem really happy with Prince Joshua. I’m glad.”

Before you could even issue a response, he’s already turning you over to your next partner—making the words dissipate on your tongue before you can say them out loud.

Your next partner is none other than your future brother-in-law and you’re not sure if this is a good thing or not.

“Having fun?” Jeonghan asks with mirth coloring his tone. 

“As much fun as someone who’s wearing heels all night can have,” you sigh as you match his careful yet precise movements. “Am I really going to have to do this all the time once Prince Joshua and I are married?”

The older man hums. “Mmm… You and Shua getting married? Not too sure about that, love.”

You furrow your brows at him. “What?” 

“Ah, forgive me. I was just teasing,” Jeonghan muses with a sleazy look that’s rubbing you the wrong way. “It’s just that…I noticed you and that last partner of yours have matching rings, as well. Seems too good to be a coincidence on my end, but I could just be making the wrong assumptions.”

You don’t know why, but your chest seizes with panic—immediately explaining to Jeonghan that Chan is your best friend and nothing else. It’s not that you’re ashamed of him, but…

“Relax, little dove. I never insinuated otherwise,” Jeonghan chuckles. “But if you’re going to settle down with my brother, I suggest you do it with an unwavering heart. That’s all.” 

You know you didn’t do anything remotely wrong, but Jeonghan is making it seem like he’s just caught you red handed for a crime you aren’t aware of committing. The same cheery smile lingers on his face for the entire dance, but there was an uncharacteristic seriousness in his words when he told you that last part.

A quiet voice inside your head tells you that you completely deserve the suspicion. 

“Go find your fiancé for the final dance, love,” Jeonghan says with one last gentlemanly bow. “It’s only fair to  properly conclude something you started together.” 

Something tells you that there’s a double meaning behind his words, but even with how much time you’ve spent with Jeonghan, you still can’t easily parse what he means to say. Despite this, you do as you’re told—weaving through the crowd of visitors in search of Joshua.

You find him near the orchestra, dancing with the same woman whose arm was linked in Chan’s earlier tonight. There’s an dazzled look on her face that you’ve seen on the other ladies your fiancé has danced with and you chalk it up to the usual enchantment people are subjected to when they’re in Joshua’s company. He has that effect on people, it seems.

But she promptly snaps out of it when her eyes drift off to you—whispering something for Joshua to hear before the prince spins around with a welcoming look. He grins like he’s oh-so happy to see you and even if you know you should feel just as elated…

All that swells in your chest is guilt.

“They want us to what?” 

A few days after the royal gala, Joshua pays your bedchambers a visit early in the morning. Sakura had just finished helping you into your corset and dress when the prince came knocking and despite your initial surprise, you gladly welcomed him at the doorway.

“Mother and Father want us to pay the local orphanage a visit,” Joshua reiterates the same words he just mentioned a minute ago, bemusement clear on his face. “They’ve been dispatching royal mages to hold magic classes for the young mages there lately. Jeonghan is usually the one who oversees it, but he has something more urgent to take care of today.”

Your throat bobs at the news. “But…I haven’t completed my assimilation yet.”

Joshua waves away your concerns. “About that. Since you’ve done such a remarkable job with your training thus far, and since you’ve apparently enamored dozens of guests the other day, I asked Father to reconsider the restrictions that come with the process.”

Enamored dozens of…? You shake your head, focusing on the matter at hand. “What do you mean?”

“I mean the assimilation period is still in effect, but we’ve decided to…rectify a few of the rules that come with it,” Joshua explains with a cheeky smile. “Once royal protégés like you have passed the half-year mark, you’ll be allowed to go in and out of the castle as you please.”

Your jaw nearly drops to the floor. Is he being serious? Or is this a test? 

“Come on, you’re making that face again.”

“What face?”

“Like what I’m saying is too good to be true.” Your fiancé pouts. "Don’t you want to go out? If I was stuck for six months in the castle without getting a taste of the outside, I honestly would’ve gone insane. Abiding by the one year rule is simply inhumane and it should’ve been amended a long time ago.”

…There he is again—making things easier for you like he always does.

You’ve never once thought of the castle as a prison, but… You did miss the outside. You miss early morning strolls in parks, weaving through markets to buy produce from local vendors. It’s been so long since you’ve had actual freedom that you forgot that you were quietly longing for it at all.

And Joshua went out of his way to give you just that.

“Okay,” you tell him—cautiousness still evident in your tone, but much less pronounced.

“What time do we leave?”

You have a feeling that the gods are out to smite you today. 

No, really. They are. Because what sort of sick game is at play right now? Just when you thought you’ve found even more reasons to stick by Joshua until the end, they decide to throw a curveball at you in the form of…

“Oh, hello,” Chan greets with a stunned look when he appears behind the double doors to the orphanage—white marks that suspiciously look like cake batter smeared across his face. “I didn’t know that you were coming today. Prince Jeonghan said—”

“Yeah, Prince Jeonghan was busy so here we are,” you speak before Joshua could even explain, which you think is all kinds of rude, but your mouth starts running before your brain can even process the fact that your best friend is right in front of you. “Pray tell, what are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same, princess-consort-in-the-making. What’re you doing outside the castle?” Chan laughs as he opens the door wider with an apologetic bow given to Joshua. “Forgive me, Your Highness. We’re always just this familiar with each other.”

“So I’ve been told,” Joshua chuckles before turning to you. “Didn’t your father tell you? Chan is his newly appointed aide. He’s dealing with something in your hometown right now, so he often sends him to tend to matters like this in his stead.”

No, your father did not tell you anything about this at all. Your incredulous expression shifts between your fiancé and best friend as if you’re waiting for the punchline of some joke shared between them.

It never comes.

“I-I see,” you say instead, clearing your throat before looking at Joshua again. “So is there anything I need to do?” 

“Mmm, you can go meet the children with Chan while I talk to the orphanage directress,” he suggests. “You’ll be alright with that, right Chan?”

Your best friend nods. “Of course, Your Highness.”

“No need to be so formal with me. My fiancée's friends are mine as well,” the prince chuckles while he shakes his head. “I best be off to the directress’ office. I’ll come find the two of you after. Does that sound alright?”

“Yes, of course,” Chan answers. “It’s a pleasure to have you.”

Joshua grins. “The pleasure’s all mine.”

And that’s how you found yourself in the  orphanage’s communal kitchen—rounding up children who might or might not hurt each other with their own play magic.

They were apparently in the middle of baking a cake for the directress when you and Joshua made your unannounced visit. From how smitten the kids are with Chan, you figure that he must’ve been spending a lot of time here lately.

Your best friend mentioned that he has a new…sideline going on, but you never imagined it to be this.

“Channie, who’s this?” Iseul—as Chan introduced—asks while he eyes you with a doe-eyed look. “Your wife?”

“Iseul,” reprimands one of the other kids. This one’s Eri, if you recall correctly. “That’s rude…”

The boy laughs nervously before fidgeting with his fingers. “O-Oh, sorry. I just thought so since she’s wearing the same ring Channie’s wearing.”

As if on cue, you and Chan both glance at your rings—two forget-me-nots stare back. 

Your best friend is the first to address their curiosity. “No, she’s not my wife.”

Iseul cranes his head. “Then why’re you two wearing matching rings? The directress told me that only people who are married can do that.”

“That’s not necessarily true,” he chuckles before walking towards the brick oven in the middle of the kitchen—striking the coals with a precise shot of flame magic. A quiet ember immediately smolders beneath. “We wear rings as a symbol of a promise we made to each other. Isn’t that right?”

Trying not to look too stunned with his precise technique, you clear your throat. “Um, yes. Chan is my best friend. We make promises all the time.”

You kind of fear that the explanation might not be enough for Iseul, but surprisingly, he just nods in understanding. “Ohhh. Just like me and Eri then!”

At the mention of her name, Eri’s face goes red, but she doesn’t make any moves to deny it. 

“Yup. Just like you and Eri,” Chan agrees with a laugh. “Come on. Let’s put the cake we worked so hard on in the oven. You want to give this as a gift to the directress, right?” 

Ten minutes later, the other kids joined the fray as they watched the cake rise inside the oven. You and Chan watch them carefully from a distance, making sure no one comes too close to burn themselves. 

“Sooo,” your best friend starts, leaning against the wooden counter. “Did the prince sneak you out or?”

You sigh, shaking your head. “No. But he did negotiate with the king to overhaul the terms that come with the assimilation period. Once someone manages to last for six months, they’re allowed to go outside.”

Chan whistles. “Now that’s a guy who’ll do anything for his wife. Uh, future wife.”

If those words were uttered by someone else, you would’ve felt flattered. It’s an honor to have someone like Joshua as your fiancé. He’s done more than enough for you over the past year and you can’t even begin to comprehend how you’re supposed to pay him back for his kindness.

But when Chan says them, it fills your chest with a feeling you can’t name.

“Anyway,” you begin, “were you planning on telling me that you’re Father’s aide now or was I just going to find that out from Prince Joshua after all?” 

“Hehe, sorry,” he says, sounding anything but apologetic. “I…kinda wanted to keep it a surprise until your assimilation period is over. But turns out, I could get to see you much sooner after all.”

You roll your eyes despite the smile that creeps up your face. 

It’s common practice for royal mages to appoint aides that they’re training to be the next royal mage. You can only imagine how much Chan has improved over the last six months to have garnered your father’s approval like this. That man’s standards are crazy high.

But then again, you’ve always known that Chan was always cut out to be an amazing mage.

As the children’s attention shifts to Eri, who’s being egged on by Iseul to ‘do that trick with the flowers again’, you find yourself quietly observing them. With red cheeks, Eri relents—snapping her fingers once before a pretty sunflower materializes out of thin air.

That casual display even catches you off guard. 

At your side, Chan stifles a laugh and you shoot him a dirty look. “You and Eri have the same elemental affinity. She doesn’t know her way around plants yet, but she can make flowers from sheer will alone.”

That’s…quite impressive, actually. You haven’t met a promising mage with an affinity for plant life since Chaewon. And Eri is barely ten years old. 

“I bet she’ll grow up to be a fine mage,” you comment fondly as you keep your eyes on the kids. 

Just as you say the words, Iseul claps his hands enthusiastically—lone spurts of fire jumping from his fingers. The other kids all exclaim as they avoid the flames before telling Iseul to knock it off.

“Uh, yeah. Iseul is a fire elemental,” Chan says dryly. “He’s also kinda having trouble controlling his powers. But don’t worry, that’s why I’m here.”

At that moment, you realize that a lot can change in the span of six months. Before you left your hometown, you never would’ve imagined Chan being responsible for another child’s magical progress. You were so used to hearing him putting himself down that the confidence he now exudes surprises you. In a good way. 

Whatever he went through in the southern cities, you think of extending your gratitude to his mentor, Jongkook. You can only imagine what he put your best friend through for him to have this much trust in himself and his powers now.

Chan heaves a laugh that he pulls from the bottom of his stomach when one of the kids douses Iseul with a magical spray of water. It’s a sound you’ve longed to hear for months and now that his laughter is singing in your ears, you can’t help but stare at him a little too fondly.

What’s more is that he still has cake batter smeared across his cheek. You wonder if he genuinely isn’t aware it’s there or he’s just keeping it on for laughs. Still, you unconsciously lean closer—raising your hand to brush your fingers across the cream. Your best friend visibly startles at the gesture but makes no moves to shy away from your touch.

With your faces inches away, you start to realize just how close you’ve gotten. You can almost feel the hitch of his breath across your skin and… 

Has Chan always been this handsome?

But those few precious moments are immediately shattered like glass when Iseul gasps and points to the entrance of the kitchen. “Look! It’s Prince Jeonghan!”

You and Chan break apart like you’ve both been burned by Iseul’s flames. Confusion races through your brain because you were told that Jeonghan was busy today, so why…?

“Common mistake, but I’m not Prince Jeonghan. I’m his brother,” Joshua clarifies as he steps into the kitchen with a bright smile. “It’s nice to meet all of you.”

One of the other kids gasps. “Are you a prince too?” 

“He is.”

It surprises you that Chan is the one to speak up—having moved away from the counter and closer to the kids. You feel your heart twist when he leaves, but you shove down the emotion since Chan is beaming like he always is.

“He’s Prince Joshua and he’s getting married soon,” he continues before gesturing to you. “To her, actually.”

The children let out noises of awe, blinking up at you and Joshua with mouths agape like they’ve just witnessed someone do a neat trick with their magic. You can feel your face heat up at the sudden attention and you would’ve been glad to know that Joshua—for all his confidence and wit—isn’t faring so well either.

If only you weren’t so put down by the fact that your best friend just drew a fine line between the two of you. A line that he probably, definitely won’t cross.

“That’s right. If all goes well, we’re having the wedding in six months,” Joshua agrees quietly—his initial shock morphing into fondness. 

“Whoa! A royal wedding?” Iseul gasps. “Are we invited too?”

The atmosphere proceeds to blur into a buzz of questions that Joshua is happy to accommodate. For children who are probably no older than twelve years old, they seem very engrossed in the relationships interspersed between the royal family.

You wonder if Jeonghan had a hand in their particular interest in the matter, but you don’t ponder on it too much because Chan eventually excuses himself from the kitchen—asking you to watch over the cake while he goes to check on the other kids playing in the backyard.

Your eyes stay riveted to the entrance even when your best friend is long gone.

You’re not sure how you’ve managed to last nine months away from home, but here you are.

As the end of your assimilation draws near, so does the royal wedding that’s been the talk of the capital for weeks now. Ever since you’ve been given freedom to go out of the castle as you please, you’ve made several friends among the elite socialites. 

They’re always dying to get their hands on an inside scoop about what you and Joshua have planned for the final quarter of the process, but you often turn these requests down before convincing one of the ladies to tell you about the diamond necklace her husband got her for their anniversary. 

It’s a scheme that Sakura told you in passing: if you want to get the nosy ones off your back, just trick them into talking about themselves instead. 

Speaking of your handmaiden, she’s been busy booking you several trips to the most renowned boutique in the capital. With only three months left until the wedding, you’re expected to look out for the perfect dress to wear on that special day. 

Despite knowing that you’re more level-headed than most marriageable women your age, you have fantasized about what you would look like in a wedding gown. Although sixteen year-old you never would’ve considered getting to sample the designs of well-known tailors across the kingdom, much more being fussed over by the royal family itself.

What you pictured was a simple wedding in your hometown—donned with a dainty white dress that didn’t boast much glamor and glitz. The only visitors would be your family, some close friends, along with your colleagues and students. A spring wedding always seemed perfect to you, and whenever you imagined yourself walking down the aisle, the person waiting for you at the altar is—

“Oh my goodness,” the seamstress behind all the stunning dresses you're trying on gasps when she lets herself inside the dressing room—eyes glittering like rhinestones. “You look absolutely stunning! I definitely like the fit of this more than the others, miss!”

You startle out of your careful reminiscing as your brain zones back in on your reflection in the mirror. This dress is as white as an angel’s wings and though she is completely right about it easily being the best you’ve tried on so far, it’s a far cry from the one you dreamed about wearing as a teen. 

You’re not sure if that’s a good thing or not.

“You think so?” you murmur, pushing down those past preferences into the furthest vestiges of your mind. “I’m glad to hear it.”

Aside from wedding gowns, the queen often consults you about the venue of the wedding. You’re actually quite surprised with how much agency they’re allowing you over the necessary decisions, but she insisted that it’s only fair for her future daughter-in-law to have a say with how her own wedding is going to pan out.

“I was thinking of holding it in the castle’s courtyard for all the kingdom to see,” she tells you over afternoon tea, a kind smile settled on her face. “That’s how all royal weddings usually take place, but I thought we could use some fresh input, you know?”

“Fresh input?” you repeat. “I’m sorry, Your Highness, but I don’t think I can follow…”

The queen shakes her head. “Silly girl, I’m asking if you have another venue in mind! Your ideas about royal politics have always been refreshing to hear, so I figured that you must have an alternative sitting inside that pretty mind of yours.”

The moment the words leave her lips, you immediately picture the riverbanks back in your hometown. It’s not a place that could accommodate hundreds upon thousands of guests like royal weddings should. But if you were to settle with a more intimate gathering, that would be your best bet.

Of course, you tell the queen none of this.

“I think holding it at the courtyard is a splendid idea already, Your Highness,” you tell her with a smile that you don’t quite believe in. “After all, there’s no place like home.”

Another thing to consider is the guestlist. Even if this is an event that the royal family encourages the entire kingdom to look forward to, only a select few are allowed inside the castle premises. 

For some reason, Jeonghan is the one saddled with the job to curate who gets to witness you being hailed both as Joshua’s wife and as princess-consort. He’s hard at work when you find him in the castle library one day, buried in stacks upon stacks of invitations with a look on his face that screams why am I even here?

Curious, you slide into one of the empty seats at the table. “I didn’t think they’d hand you a job so tedious.”

“They didn’t,” Jeonghan frames the words with a sigh. “I volunteered ‘cause I know it would make Shua happy.”

“You can make your little brother happy in other ways too,” you joke.

The older prince hums as he scribbles onto a fine sheet of parchment. “You’d know a lot about making my brother happy, now would you?”

Jeonghan has a reputation for being a scheming, sharp-tongued prince. You’re fully aware of this, but getting to live with him for almost a year made you see sides of him he doesn’t usually show to the public.

Though not as openly as Joshua does, he cares for his family and the staff in his own, quiet way. You like to think that his subtle thoughtfulness even extended to you during these fateful months in the castle. 

But after that fateful encounter in the ballroom during the six-month mark of your assimilation, something told you that you no longer had the privilege of being on the receiving end of his support.

“It’s kind of ironic, really,” Jeonghan muses before dipping his pen into the inkwell. “I’m willingly overseeing this blasted guestlist despite the fact that my brother is getting married to someone who doesn’t even love him. But I suppose it’s an older brother’s job to cater to the fantasy until he sees things for how they are on his own.”

“Your Highness, forgive me but it’s rather bold of you to assume that I don’t harbor an ounce of love for my fiancé,” you tell him outright, lacing your fingers together tightly on your lap. 

Right next to the lavish ring Joshua had given to you, a forget-me-not sits unassumingly by its side. 

Jeonghan laughs. “Really? That’s quite amusing, since I think it’s even bolder for you to choose responsibility over the man your heart truly longs for.”

Silence rings in the room like white noise and you aren’t able to school your expression into neutrality fast enough to escape Jeonghan’s observant eyes. The complacent set of his jaw clues you in on just how much he actually knows and you aren’t certain about what to make of it.

“Whatever you think is going on with me and…that person,” you start, the address tasting like acid on your tongue, “I guarantee you that it’s long gone. He’s the one who made it clear several months before and I never once intended to go back on something I already started.”

Jeonghan rolls his eyes before pointing the tip of his quill at you. “You know, things would be much easier if you were just a gold-digging commoner and none else.”

Your face twists with offense. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” he retaliates as he leans back in his seat. “If you were in this for money and power like every other woman out there, Shua would’ve called off the engagement much sooner. But even I know that you’re too good for that.”

Your momentary vexation with Jeonghan blurs into confusion in a matter of seconds. Is he making a jab at you or complimenting you?

When he recognizes the puzzled look on your face, he heaves a long-winded sigh before putting down his pen altogether.

“Let me put it this way: you’re objectively the best princess-consort-in-training that I’ve had the pleasure to meet. You do everything you’re told flawlessly—sticking by the book at all times if you can help it. You’d even sacrifice your own happiness for the sake of others. 

“While that sense of responsibility would make for a great leader in the future…my little brother doesn’t deserve to be loved as half-heartedly as you love him.”

Your heart thumps inside your ribcage as if it was a prison it longs to break free from. Part of you knows you should refute every single thing that Jeonghan just said. It’s what a future princess-consort should do. 

But every time your mind flashes back to that old spring wedding fantasy you conjured up in your hometown, Chan’s lovely smile burns itself into the back of your eyelids.

Wordlessly, Jeonghan goes back to work and you stew in the silence of the library much longer than you have to. It’s only when one of the servants calls both of your attention to have lunch in the dining hall that he speaks again.

“You still have several weeks to make up your mind, little dove,” Jeonghan whispers slowly the moment you both enter the dining hall. It doesn’t help your case when Joshua perks up in his seat at the sight of you walking inside with his older brother like he hasn’t given you an ultimatum right then and there. 

“Make sure each one counts.”

You don’t really receive letters from Chan anymore.

He’s stopped sending them together after you last met him in the orphanage. Your father explained that he’s been entrusted with several tasks both in and out of the Academy and that those take up most of his time. 

You want to tell him that your best friend never once missed a letter even during those hellish days he spent in the southern cities, but in the end, you decide to keep your silence.

Thoughts about letters that won’t come are the last thing on your mind when winter falls upon the kingdom. The preparations are in full swing despite the fact that there’s still a month left before the wedding itself and because you refuse to be a sitting duck that lets everyone do all the work, you decide to contribute every now and again.

But even if there’s a sense of accomplishment in being able to help around, this season has always been your least favorite. 

You’re a mage who practices with plants and flowers alike, so it’s only natural for you to feel under the weather this time around. The fact that you’ve scarcely gotten to practice your magic ever since you set foot in the capital does little in contributing to your peace of mind as well.

Your hometown is teeming with plant life that you could nurture with the simplest spells. Inside the stone walls and marble floors of the royal castle, there’s barely anything that requires your constant care. 

It’s a given that royals tend to avoid relying on magic for all matters concerning the regency. You were taught that cleverness and wit are the two things that will keep you alive among the foreign courts of other kingdoms and that things like magic can be entrusted to the royal mages instead.

But all it takes is a withering winter to make you realize that you don’t want your magic—the very core of who you are—to dwindle into nothingness.

It’s for that reason that you find yourself heading over to the castle gardens despite the fact that you promised Sakura that you’d start practicing for matrimonial dance with your usual instructor this afternoon. The sun has barely peeked beyond the clouds these days, but you’re convinced that you’ll at least find comfort in the flowers that grew sparsely inside.

There, you find Joshua crouched next to a shrub of carnations.

He’s dressed down today—comfortably enough to let you know that he doesn’t have any plans for the meantime. Your fiancé is examining each bloom with such rapt attention, you’re convinced he didn’t even notice your arrival. 

Surely enough, as you take the first step to approach him, he rises back to his full height—turning around with a vibrant carnation in his hand.

Everyone inside the castle uses their magic so infrequently that you sometimes forget that you and Joshua share the same elemental affinity. Maybe that’s the reason it was so easy for you to get along with him for the past eleven months. 

But you know better than most that there’s more to it than just that.

“You’ve been very busy lately,” Joshua comments with an easygoing smile. “I barely see you these days.”

You sigh, tucking your cardigan closer to your form. “If I’m not helping with the wedding preparations, I’m holed up in my bedchambers. I…don’t really like winters.”

“Neither do I,” he chuckles. “But my duties won’t stop just because I loathe the cold. I’m sure you understand that well.”

The quiet settles over the both of you like a blanket of snow—making you wonder how you used to deal with long winters in the past. 

Then you remember a boy who’s always brought warmth in your life without even trying. Nights spent sleeping in front of the fireplace, tucked in the warmth of his body no matter how harsh the blizzards could be. Collective yearning for the day the snow finally melts and spring returns with a flowery smile. 

But that’s the thing—it’s all in the past.

“Can I…ask you something?”

The hesitation in Joshua’s words makes you stare at him pensively. 

He always sounds sure of himself. Attractively confident. Not in a way that others would find obnoxious, but the complete opposite. There’s a reason why Joshua is so loved in his own kingdom yet right now, you’re starting to see the cracks forming on his gentlemanly demeanor. 

“What is it?” you murmur softly despite dread slowly sinking its claws into your skin.

Joshua tilts his head up to the overcast sky like he’s wondering if it’s going to snow today. He closes his eyes for a brief moment, inhaling deeply before meeting your eyes again.

“Are you certain you still want to go through with the wedding?”

This…oddly feels like the time you found Jeonghan in the library. The guilt you’ve been harboring for the longest time festers at the implications of his question and you wonder if everything you’ve worked so hard on for the past year will come crashing down today.

“Of course,” you tell him but you’re well aware Joshua knows a lie when he hears it. 

“Really?”

“Is there something specific that you wish for me to say?”

He sighs—the cold starting to materialize with each breath. “No, nothing in particular.”

“It’s just that I believe it would be unfair of me to impose marriage when your heart already belongs to someone else.”

The water running from the fountain is all that plagues your ears yet Joshua’s admission doesn’t evoke the visceral reaction you had to Jeonghan telling you nearly the same thing. Hearing the words come from your fiancé’s mouth doesn’t instill you with guilt.

No… This is something much closer to acceptance.

“I once thought that your time in the castle would give enough leeway for us to get to know each other better,” he continues with a sad smile. “And it did. I’m certain that we’re much closer now than we were a year ago. But… I was a fool to think I could ever get you to love me the same way you love him.”

You’re immediately seized with the need to placate him somehow. After all, you were taught that it’s a wife’s duty to ease her husband’s troubles should he confide in her.

But you’re not Joshua’s wife. 

(And from how this conversation is going, you might never be.)

All of a sudden, something that Jeonghan said to you in the library resurfaces in your mind. At the time, you were too frustrated with him to actually process the words, but suddenly all of it makes sense.

I suppose it’s an older brother’s job to cater to the fantasy until he sees things for how they are on his own.

“You’ve known all this time,” you tell him incredulously. “Why… Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I didn’t want you to think that you were obligated to love me for my sake. That’s something that should never be imposed,” he murmurs, twirling the flower in his hands almost wistfully. “I assumed that…maybe if I just gave you enough time, it would come to you naturally. But sometimes things just don’t work out the way you thought and that’s okay.”

If you weren’t trembling in your shoes a minute ago, you certainly are now.

“Joshua,” you whisper. “What are you saying?”

The smile on his face never wavers even as he crosses the distance between you and pulls you into a sound embrace. It catches you off guard for a second because Joshua has never initiated this kind of contact during your entire stay. 

But even with the warmth of his body pressed against yours, the fact that your mind immediately compares it to how it feels to have Chan’s heat permeating your skin…

It only means that this engagement is as good as over.

“I wanted to say thank you,” Joshua whispers back—one hand smoothing across your hair as he holds you in place. “For giving yourself the chance to love me. For being selfless enough to do everything you’ve done so far. I used to admire your self-sacrificing tendencies, but…

“Now I’m sure it’s high time that you chose yourself for a change.”

You don’t know when the tears started to fall, but you find comfort in the crook of Joshua’s neck as you sob into his arms. He doesn’t say a word as you let it out—all the years you spent looking after others, putting their wellbeing first before your own.

You’ve gotten so accustomed to taking responsibility for everyone around you that it never really occurred to you that things don’t have to be that way.

You’re allowed to choose yourself. You’re allowed to be selfish. 

“Go,” Joshua murmurs against the crown of your head. “Go back home. You deserve as much.”

You look up at him, sniffling. “B-But the wedding—”

“There won’t be a wedding,” he reassures with the same sad smile that breaks your heart to see. “You don’t have to worry about a thing. I’ll explain the situation to everyone. Right now…you have to go because your father informed me that he’s leaving soon.”

As if you haven’t already been given enough to deal with in a single day, you feel like an anvil has been dropped into the pit of your stomach.

“What do you mean?” 

“Lee Jung Chan was assigned to travel to another reputable magic school on the other side of the continent to build an alliance with the Academy,” Joshua explains swiftly. “He leaves tonight and won’t come back in a long, long while depending on how the initial negotiations turn out.”

An alliance…? 

Is that what he’s been so preoccupied with these days? So much that he can’t even spare the time to write to you anymore?

Before the next bout of tears could spill from your eyes, Joshua calmingly tucks a loose tuft of your hair behind your ear. He looks at you with so much adoration and longing that you briefly entertain the possibility of you loving him unconditionally in another life.

You hope he’ll be happier there.

“There’s a carriage waiting for you at the gates of the capital,” Joshua says. “Leave now while you still have time.”

You want to say something. To apologize to him. To thank him. To tell him that he deserves the world and much, much more. 

But all you do is slide off the diamond engagement ring from your finger, handing it to Joshua with an apologetic look before bolting to the castle entrance—not even sparing him a single word in goodbye.

Venues? Wedding gowns? Invitations? None of these mattered anymore.

Not when you're about to lose your best friend—the love of your life.

Joshua tries not to think about how your hand looked now that it was devoid of his gift; how all that remained is a promise ring that he should’ve taken as a sign to give up a long time ago. 

Just as he hears the commotion stirring down the winding halls, Joshua looks up at the sky again. When he closes his eyes, he feels the first few snowflakes land on his face—cold and solitary, much like himself.

Even so...

You broke his heart in the middle of winter, yet Joshua still looks forward to the flowery smile of spring.

The moment you arrived at your hometown, you weren’t sure where to start looking. For one, the coachman who brought you here said that your father was out of town for undisclosed reasons. You couldn’t exactly march up to the headmaster’s office in the Academy to interrogate him about Chan’s whereabouts. 

That’s why you opted to start with your best friend’s house openly greeted by his mother with a shocked expression as she asks what on earth you were doing so far away from the royal capital.

“Uh, it’s a long story,” you tell her sheepishly as you try not to shiver too much from the cold. “I promise I’ll keep you up to speed, but for now I really need to find Chan.”

She hesitates for a moment and you chalk it up to the fact that Chan’s mother must be thinking she’s going to have a hand in something illegal if she helps you. After all, she’s always had good instincts when either you or her son were up to no good.

But you tell yourself that this is probably the most good you’ve done for yourself in a long, long time. 

In the end, she directs you to the Academy—saying something about Chan wanting to deal with a few things first before he leaves. With just half an hour until nightfall, several students can be seen walking out of the gates after a long day. Some just pass by you without a word, while others throw second glances over their shoulder—as if they couldn’t believe that you’re back either. 

You recognize those kids to be some of your former students, but you can’t bring yourself to stop for a quick chat—simply hoping they’ll forgive you for your haste.

But through the thundering of your heart, you hear a familiar voice call your name in the crowd.

“You’re back!" Chaewon remarks with a delightful gasp before tackling you with a firm embrace. “Why didn’t you tell us you were visiting? Did you bring Prince Joshua with—?”

“Chaewon, where’s Chan?” you interject almost desperately.

Your old student blinks up at you, rightfully confused. “Um, he’s going on a trip for a while. Yunjin told me just now that she saw the other royal mages that gathered here leave on their horses an hour ago. Why? Did you need something from him?”

The news makes you feel like your head has been submerged in murky waters—cloying your senses until you could no longer make sense of what’s around you. Chaewon flashes you a disconcerted look, asking if everything is alright. 

You want to tell her that you’re fine, but you can’t find the words. Your mouth feels cottony and your eyes are starting to sting. Instead of answering, you turn on your heel, biting down the guilt that comes with dismissing one of your favorite students as you run towards the opposite direction.

Chaewon calls out for you several times, but you don’t look back.

Maybe you should just head back to the castle and tell Joshua that this was all a mistake—a lapse in judgment that can still be taken back. You should just see your assimilation through until the end. You’ve already made it so far, after all.

But you just know, deep in your gut, that Joshua wouldn’t accept that so easily. He made it clear that he wants you to want him with no holds barred. Not because you feel responsible for his feelings. Not because the love of your life has already left. That’s just who he is as a person.

Not wanting to burst into tears for the second time today, you find yourself walking towards the greenhouse—craving that familiar solace you always get whenever you’re inside. Your father told you he was going to keep an eye on it while you were gone and you figure that he’d been telling the truth when you find the enclosure just as you’ve left it. 

Several of your personal experiments seem like someone enchanted them with time suspension magic—looking the exact way they did before you left almost a year ago. Among the other plants and flora are other pieces you don’t recognize. You figure that these must be Chaewon’s work and you remind yourself to compliment her once you sort yourself out. 

But when you don’t spot a certain plant box you were looking for, a frown roots itself on your face.

Did Chan move your forget-me-nots somewhere else? The vibrant blue flowers should’ve been easy to spot even amidst the lush blooms all around you, but there’s nothing like that in the vicinity. 

You take your search outside for reasons unknown. Perhaps it’s the restlessness of just staying in one place when you know the very symbol of your promise with your best friend is nowhere to be found. As you make your way out, you glance at the single flower sitting at the base of your pinky—sadly wondering if Chan is even still wearing his. 

But the moment you make it to the back of the greenhouse, you’re much too stunned with the sight that beholds you.

What once was a vacant patch of grasslands is now filled to the brim with forget-me-nots that glow vibrantly in comparison to the bleak gray winter. Despite the drop in temperature, the field of blue flowers stretches on until the borders of the Academy and you have to pinch yourself and make sure you’re not dreaming. 

Then, as if this situation can’t get any more unbelievable, you spot someone crouched in the middle of the field of forget-me-nots.

Your best friend.

Chan doesn’t immediately notice you—seemingly lost in thought, just like the day you found him by the riverbanks a year ago. For someone that’s leaving on an indefinite trip to the other side of the continent, he surely doesn’t look dressed the part, having opted for his comfortable cotton tunic and trousers instead of the garbs royal mages and aides are required to don.

You don’t think twice. You just run.

He lets out an undignified yelp when you tackle him into the ground—palms heating up with a flare of his magic with the full intention of blasting away the intruder. But when he finds his best friend lying right on top of him amidst the forget-me-nots, he’s engulfed with a different kind of heat entirely.

“You asshole,” you hiss with teary eyes, beating your fists weakly against his chest. “You’re going away for a long time and you didn’t even bother to tell me? Am I suddenly not your best friend anymore?”

There’s nothing more that Chan hates than seeing you cry, but he loathes it even more when he’s the cause of your tears. He doesn’t even know if you’re actually here with him. You should be back at the royal castle, preparing for your wedding and not sobbing because of your best friend.

But the warmth of your body nestled on top of his own is much too real. It’s the same sensation he’s craved since you left. The same feeling he’s always longed for, for as long as he can remember. 

And he’s not such a glutton for punishment that he’ll deprive himself of it any longer.

Chan cracks a barely there smile, the breath of his laughter materializing in front of him as he reaches up to tuck your hair behind your ear. He’s not sure if your face flushes because of him or the cold, but he likes to think it’s the former.

“Hey, I’m not going anywhere,” he reassures, opting to save his many questions for later. “Dunno how you found out about the trip, but I backed out of it last minute. Told the headmaster that I’m not the best with negotiations and that I might unknowingly start a war in the process.”

He half-expects you to either laugh in his face despite the clearly distraught expression you’re wearing or fume at him for being so ridiculous. You probably made the trip from the capital to your hometown just to see him off and he’ll understand your frustration at the fact that his participation was rendered null and void.

But you do neither of these things.

Instead, you curl your fingers into the fabric of his shirt—pulling him up and leaning forward at the same time. 

You’d be lying if you said you never thought about kissing Chan at least once in your life. But you can attest to the fact that you didn’t imagine it to happen while you’re freshly broken up from a year-long engagement—snowflakes starting to fall in the field of flowers you asked him to take care of.

Those he promised to take care of.

“I love you,” you whisper breathlessly, hands trembling from where they grip Chan’s clothes as you force your breathing to even out. “I’ve always loved you and I’m the biggest idiot in the world for not accepting that sooner.”

Chan gazes up at you in stunned silence, lips moving as if meaning to say something in return but the words evade him. But just when you’re about to emphasize your point again, Chan raises an arm to  shield his eyes with the back of his hand.

“You’re lying,” he chuckles almost helplessly. “You’ve got to be messing with me.”

A scowl stretches across your lips. How could that be his first reaction? You thought he’d be elated that you came back and professed your feelings. 

But then you entertain the possibility that…what if you’ve read the entire situation wrong? What if Chan never had any feelings of the romantic kind for you at all?

What if you risked everything for nothing?

“Lee Jung Chan,” you whisper threateningly. “I left the Crown Prince himself in a heartbeat when I found out you were going away. Made the entire trip from the capital to here just for the slim chance of seeing you before you left. I even kissed you outside in the middle of winter because I was so fucking glad that you’re here to stay. If that isn’t genuine enough for you, then what else do you want me to do?” 

Your best friend lowers his hand and you try not to waver at the sight of his puffy red eyes. He sucks in a deep breath that almost whistles down his throat before taking one of your hands and lifting it closer to his face.

At the base of your pinky is the same ring he’s never once taken off since you gave it to him.

As night falls and the endless snow falls upon your hometown, two lone figures in a field full of flowers remain undisturbed in their lonesome. 

For some, love is something you don’t give half-heartedly. For others, it should never be imposed.

For you, it’s a whirlwind of emotions that you could never quite figure out how to deal with.

Yet when it comes to Lee Jung Chan, you realize that love has always been easy.

“Chan,” you sigh into the cold air of his bedroom as your best friend peppers your neck with kisses much too heated than you expected. “S-Slow down a little.”

He breathes out a laugh that sounds much too airy for your liking. Chan detaches his lips from your skin as he flashes you a gummy smile. “Slow down? I’ve been waiting for you my whole life. I don’t think I can slow down anymore, princess.”

You have to fight the urge to hit him with his choice of words. “Act any more cheeky and I’m walking out of your house.”

“Duly noted.” 

Then his mouth is back on yours. 

The trip back to Chan’s house—a new, one bedroom apartment near the town square, not his mother’s house—was a bit tricky. For one, you had to walk around where virtually everyone knows you to be Prince Joshua’s fiancée, answering questions about what you’re doing back home with the wedding coming up so close. 

You keep your answers curt and short—not wanting to ignite the scandal of a lifetime before Joshua can even prepare the ample damage control. That and each time someone mentions how happy they are for your engagement, you can feel Chan’s eyes boring into the back of your head. 

So now you’re here, crowded beneath your best friend on his mattress as he kisses your breath away. 

You’ve never done this before. The most daring thing you’ve done with Joshua, who was literally your fiancé for almost a year, was that last hug you shared before you left the castle for good. So you suppose no one can blame you for feeling so lightheaded from the feel of Chan’s lips pressed against yours alone.

It doesn’t help that, even through his desperation to leave no space between the two of you, there’s still caution weighted beneath his desire. He could probably sense the hesitation in your movements as you reciprocate his vigor—kissing back almost awkwardly despite how good his kisses are making you feel. 

“Open your mouth a little for me,” he murmurs, one hand cradling your jaw as you let out a little whimper. “Come on, don’t get shy on me now. I promise you’ll like it.”

Not wanting to keep either of you waiting for much longer, you do as you’re told—opening your mouth just a tad wider right after Chan kisses you again. He easily muffles the gasp you make with his lips when you feel his tongue lick into your mouth. The sensation makes gooseflesh prickle your arms and he coaxes out another embarrassing noise from you—one too salacious for others to hear freely.

“See? What’d I tell you?” he whispers breathlessly against your lips—a strong arm coiling around your waist as he pulls you against his body. “You like it that much?”

You nod meekly. Chan laughs.

“I wanna try something. Hold on.”

Confused, you watch your best friend take a spot beside you on his bed, legs sprawled across the mattress as he tugs you closer to him. You resist his ministrations for a moment as you try to figure out what on earth he’s planning to do. But then it dawns on you. 

He wants you to sit on his lap.

“Too much?” he asks with a hint of caution, to which you quickly respond with a shake of your head. 

“Just…surprising,” you admit as you settle your hips across his thighs. 

You kind of want to ask where he even learned about all this, but part of you doesn’t want to know the answer. Picturing Chan lying with someone else like this is enough to kill your mood, so you decide to push the thought far away until you could no longer remember it.

Despite how…strange and new this is to you, it’s much more comfortable than having his weight press you down into the mattress. Not to mention, you can just brace your hands on Chan’s shoulders as he licks further into your mouth—fingers laced behind the small of your back as you continue whimpering into his kisses.

Gods above. Will you even get out of this alive?

“You taste so sweet,” Chan murmurs before carding his fingers through your hair. “Much better than I imagined.”

You find it in you to chuckle in spite of yourself. “You’ve been imagining this?”

“Enough times to grant me admission to an asylum,” your best friend replies with a sigh as he continues combing your tresses. “I’m crazy about you, if that isn’t obvious enough. Wanted to kiss you so bad back in the orphanage when you leaned in way too close.”

You didn’t know it at the time, but looking back at it now, you definitely felt the same. Now you’re not sure whether or not you should treat Joshua’s untimely entrance in the kitchen that day as a miracle or a curse. 

“I did too,” you profess with little hesitation, tracing the curve of his lips with your thumb before resting your forehead against his. “We’re so stupid. If only we admitted our feelings earlier, we wouldn’t be in such a huge mess.”

Chan hums. “You mean…if I just spoke up when you got Prince Joshua’s proposal, you would’ve rejected it?”

“Of course I would,” you nearly exclaim. “I’ve loved you since we were kids, Chan.”

“Ditto. Guess we have lots of missed time to make up for.”

When he claims your lips again, it’s charged with want so potent you can almost taste it on your tongue. Chan presses your body even closer to his, if that’s even possible and as he continues building up the fever pitch of your desire, you start to shift uncomfortably on his lap—slick beginning to pool between your thighs the deeper he kisses you. 

The evidence of his own arousal pokes against your middle as well—leaving Chan a groaning mess each time you unknowingly jerk your hips to chase after the barest hint of friction. You don’t know where all this will lead nor do you know what comes after.

All that matters is that Chan is with you right here, right now.

Your clothes all come off one by one. Chan doesn’t forget to drag his lips across every inch of newly exposed skin—a quiet, unrelenting profession of his feelings. He wants to engrave himself into every part of you; to leave his mark so that you’ll remember him still even if he only gets to have you for the night.

But what Chan just doesn’t get is that your heart has already been set on him since the start.

“Tell me if it’s too much,” he whispers, trailing his calloused fingers along the sensitive curve of your waist when he lays you down on your back. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t like.”

It’s so Chan of him to be this concerned about your boundaries. But you don’t know how else to say that you want nothing more than to take things all the way aside from tugging him back down for another breathtaking kiss.

“Is it going to hurt?” you ask, genuinely curious, just a tad bit afraid.

Your best friend purses his lips, the heat of his body offering you some much needed comfort as he plants another kiss on the corner of your mouth. “It will for a while. But I’ll ease you into it and make you feel good. I promise.”

Chan says the words like you have anything but trust in him. You know he needs a verbal confirmation out of you, but you’re both too embarrassed and too aroused to give him the green light out loud. Instead, you nod your head twice—leaning closer to his ear to whisper:

“Okay. I’m ready.”

Your best friend sighs out something that suspiciously sounds like gods, I love you, before burying his face in your exposed chest—lips latching onto one of the pert nipples as he massages your other breast languidly. The wet sound of his mouth getting to work makes your face flush several shades of red and your sex to leak even more slick than it already has. 

There’s just something so arousing about how careful Chan is with your body. He handles you like you’re the most precious thing in the world and throws your mind into an inexplicable haze.

But then again, maybe you’re just that in love with the guy.

You visibly tense underneath his touch when you feel him start to prod his fingers along your glistening seam. You’re so sensitive that you twitch from the slightest contact and Chan sighs a laugh into your chest when he feels it.

“Relax,” he murmurs. “I can’t make you feel good if you’re too high-strung.”

“Easy for you to say,” you huff. “You’re not the one who’s about to be fucked into oblivion.”

Chan startles from how easily the words fall from your lips—mouth agape like a fish out of water. You wonder if you said something out of turn but when he kisses you for the millionth time today, you notice something else eclipsing his ready set gentleness.

Something more carnal.

“You can’t rile me up by talking so filthily like that,” he whispers hoarsely. “I’m trying to be a good lover by taking things slow. Promise you won’t catch me off guard like that again?”

You shake your head with a laugh. “Chan, you know I don’t make promises I can’t keep. But I'll try~”

“Fuck. Alright. I can work with that.”

When he eases a finger inside your awaiting heat, you find the sensation a little uncomfortable. It’s like having something inside you that doesn’t quite belong there. Chan analyzes your reactions in the silence as he continues prodding your entrance—looking for any signs of discomfort like a hawk as he experimentally thrusts that single digit in and out of you.

“F-Feels weird,” you mumble. “Is it supposed to feel weird?”

“I guess you’d feel that way if it was your first time,” he chuckles and your eyes narrow at the implication behind his words. “But I’ve got to loosen you up if I don’t want to hurt you.”

So this wasn’t his first after all. Though you want nothing more than to hear tales about former escapades, you decide to grill him about it later. 

You’re about to question how something like this can do that before Chan robs you of your capacity to think coherently, curling his slender finger inside you until he brushes a spot that has your muscles spasming underneath him. A wicked smile finds its way to his face as he slips in another finger so easily—the pads grazing that sensitive patch of flesh to coax out the same reaction from you.

“Still weird?” he laughs. 

“Good…” you whimper, grinding your hips shamelessly into his hand. “Feels so good, Chan.” 

Your best friend sighs as he watches you slowly cross the threshold between awkward curiosity and the beginnings of an enjoyable time. You’re wet and wanting—just like how he hoped you’d be and the way your tight walls clench around his fingers barely tempers the raw anticipation that sizzles in his veins. 

Gentle. He needs to be gentle. 

He doesn’t want to lose control when he’s waited oh-so long for this moment.

But god fucking damn are you making it so hard when you’re moaning so prettily for him.

“C-Chan,” you mewl and he feels you tighten even more around his digits. “It feels weird again… Like something’s coming.”

He sucks in a sharp breath before pressing open-mouthed kisses along the column of your throat. The sensation makes you buck further into his hand and Chan can only do so much to keep himself from just fucking you into the bed.

“Let go,” he tells you before flicking his thumb across your puffy clit. “Let it all go, beautiful. Don’t be scared. I’m right here.”

The newfound stimulation blindsides you in a way you didn’t expect—reducing you into a mumbling mess of arousal beneath your best friend as he continues tracing tight circles around the sensitive nub. Your first (of many) orgasms crashes over you like a tidal wave and you sigh out his name so needily, he can barely contain himself for much longer. 

But he doesn’t rush you no matter how pent up he is—he won’t, he won’t, he won’t. 

Besides, the sight of you so fucked out from taking his fingers alone—lips parted, chest heaving, eyes pulling in and out of focus—is a reward in and of itself. 

“You still with me?” your best friend checks in with a concerned look, wiping the sweat that beads across your forehead with the back of his hand. 

But the moment his skin makes contact with yours again, you absentmindedly grab his hand—pressing a soft kiss on his knuckles.

“I’ll always be with you.”

Gods above. He doesn’t deserve you.

When he’s sure you’re ready, Chan positions himself right before your entrance—carefully nudging your thighs apart as he fists the angry red erection he’s been sporting all night. The sight of his cock makes you blush, but you figure there’s no point in acting coy now that you’ve made it this far.

“You know what to do when I do something you don’t like, right?” 

You nod—not really hearing the words with how transfixed you are on other things. “Y-Yes.”

Chan offers up a lazy smile. “That’s my girl.”

You take all of him inch by unbearable inch—your walls meeting the stretch that his girth offers with mild resistance. His fingers are child’s play compared to this and you force yourself to power through it despite how it burns. 

Of course, Chan doesn’t miss a beat despite how hard you try to conceal your discomfort.

“I’m hurting you, aren’t I?” he asks with an apologetic smile, wiping the tears that are pooling in the corners of your eyes. “I’m sorry. Just a bit more and you’ll get used to it.”

“You promise?”

Your best friend brings an outstretched pinky close to your face—the same pinky with the ring that started all of this staring back at you. The moment you hook your own finger around his, your best friend murmurs:

“I promise.”

Chan is quite patient despite the fact that he’s balls-deep inside of you—keeping the innate desire to just ram his length into you until you’re a sobbing, crying mess for him. The Academy’s best graduate, the kingdom’s sweetheart, his perfect best friend. All reduced to tears on his cock.

“Chan,” you breathe in deeply, having finally accustomed yourself to how he stretches you out. “Y-You can move now.”

Shit. You sound so shy, so innocent.

How could he not give you what you want?

The first outward drag of his hips pulls a pretty little whimper out of you and an even prettier moan when he thrusts back in. Chan sighs as he minds the pace he’s set, cradling your face with one hand as he steadies you with the other.

“I love you,” he murmurs, pressing a featherlight kiss on your nose. “More than there are stars in the sky, more than how many flowers you’ll ask me to look after while you’re gone.”

His sweet words are subverted with a harsh thrust that he does experimentally to see how you’d react to it. When Chan doesn’t see any indication of pain or dislike, he repeats it—again and again until he can feel you coating his length in the slick of your leaking arousal. 

“Feels so fucking good around me,” he rasps, keeping himself from biting into your shoulder because he isn’t sure of how you feel about those kinds of marks just yet. “Perfect… You’re so, so perfect. I’ve never loved anyone else as much as I love you.”

It feels a bit worrisome, admitting all this in the heat of it all. Chan fears that you would find his words a tad disingenuous. For all he knows, you’re thinking that it’s your wonderful cunt making him say all these sweet nothings. 

But you’re too far gone yourself to even think about the specifics.

“Deeper,” you beg, lacing your fingers around his neck as more tears start to cascade down your cheeks. “Need to feel you deeper, Chan.”

You’re going to be the death of him—this he’s finally sure of.

The fat head of his cock batters your poor, abused pussy with the vigor of someone who’s been waiting for you all his life. Chan babbles out a mantra of compliments and praise all strung together in a haze of pleasurable delirium as your nails start to rake across his back. 

“Want you to be mine forever,” he sighs against your lips—his hot breath fanning against your face. “Can I have you? For the rest of my life?”

Even in the throes of passion, the answer comes to you so easily.

“I’m yours,” you cry out as he angles his cock just right and grazes the spot that makes you see stars. “I’m yours, Chan. Always yours. Forever yours.”

Your mind crumbles as your release crests out of nowhere—coherence draining from every recess of your mind while Chan fucks you through your high. He snaps his hips unforgivingly as he chases his own orgasm. His fingers leave red imprints on your thighs with how firmly they dig into your supple flesh and they stay there even when he finally pinpoints his release. 

The two of you collapse onto the mattress with shallow breaths, sweat-slicked skin sticking to each other with how close your bodies are. When your mind finally returns to the shores of reality, you dare to crack your eyes open—only to see your best friend looking back at you with a tired smile.

This is the man who saw you cry over a stick fort that he accidentally stepped on when you were kids. 

The one who thinks you’re still pretty even when your face is rife with tears and snot.

The one who skips stones with you in the river at sunset. 

The one who keeps you warm by the fireplace during every winter.

The one who defended you from classmates who accused you of being a fraud that rode on her father’s coattails. 

The one you’ll gladly spend the rest of your life with.

You think you should find it strange how Joshua suddenly comes to mind now that you’re finally where you want to be. But if it weren’t for him, you never would’ve gotten that final push to be selfish—to choose yourself for once and not feel any ounce of remorse for doing so.

If it weren’t for him, you never would’ve felt what true happiness feels like.

“So…” your best friend starts as he pulls a blanket over your naked bodies. “For tonight’s pillow talk, you get to decide the topic of interest.”

You snort. “Okay. What are my choices?”

“Hm. The first is: what are we going to do now that we’re together-together when the entire kingdom still thinks you’re still Prince Joshua’s fiancé? You still owe me a story about how the engagement fell through, by the way. Unless I’m actually a homewrecker…?”

Rolling your eyes, you playfully slap his chest. “What’s the second option?”

He grins at you cheekily. “What pet names can I use on you while we’re having sex because…I honestly held back the entire time ‘cause I didn’t know what you were comfortable with.”

“I don’t really mind anything,” you say. “Just…nothing too degrading?” 

“Alright.” Chan nods. “What do you say about lovebug?”

The suggestion is met with a scowl, making Chan giggle underneath the covers.

“Not a fan? How about my little dew drop? My chrysalis blooming into a beautiful butterfly? My hundred year-old tree that never ceases to amaze me with your beauty? My spectacle in an endless galaxy? My—”

“Lee Jung Chan, if you don’t shut up right now, I might just march back to the capital right this moment after all.”

Chan responds to your threat with a needy whine as he cages you around his arms. Your best friend nuzzles his face in the crook of your neck with a sulky pout.

“No! You’re mine. I don’t care if everyone else thinks otherwise.” He huffs and you entertain him with a laugh before Chan eventually disentangles himself from you—the playful expression on his face morphing into something more sobering.

“I was serious about the first pillow talk suggestion, by the way,” he murmurs. “Once the news breaks out, it isn’t going to be easy for any of us.” 

“I know.”

Chan raises an eyebrow at your nonchalance. “Hm? You’re usually the type to psych yourself out way too much when problems like this arise. Who are you and what did you do to my worrywart of a best friend?”

Paying his teasing no mind, you lean in to press your lips to his. The moment Chan’s shoulders sink in surrender, you smile against his mouth.

“Honestly? I don’t really care about what happens,” you admit, tracing the outline of his chest with your finger. “As long as I’m with you, I think we’ll be alright.”

Chan is quiet for a while—a loving look glazing over his eyes at the sight of you.

“Yeah.” 

Your best friend presses another kiss to your temple, lacing your fingers together.

Two forget-me-nots finally find their way back to each other. 

“We’ll be alright.”

⟢ end notes: and that concludes the longest oneshot i've ever written for a seventeen member :') honestly considered breaking this into parts, but decided not to in the end bcs telling their story in one go felt like the best way to go about it! shoutouts to my good buddies and pals from svthub for the constant support and pep talk they offered while i was writing this monster of a fic. freya, my bridgerton sunbae, and zeta, my favorite wonwoorideul (real), thank you tons for your lovely input <3 your silly comments on the doc always made me smile. ofc i won't forget nana who gave me an...interesting list of pet names chan would unironically use on his s/o lol that said, thank you for reading! i hope you enjoy the other fics posted under the spring collab! all writers who contributed poured their hearts into each piece <3

this is part of the secret garden, a svthub spring collab and the it's complicated series!

[mazosstuff]

Heartsteel boys × classical singer!reader

Pairings: Aphelios, Ezreal, Sett, Kayn, Yone, K'sante (separately) × gn reader

Cw: maybe reader being a little insecure?

Words: 1.1 k

Aphelios

• You sometimes forget he's in the house, so, thinking you're alone, you start singing a little.

• You were no master at it so it was a little hard for you to say if you were singing with your throat or not, and that was one of his reasons why you never sang infront of him, but following some advices from your vocal coach helped alot.

• You were cooking something when you remembered the part of an opera you did when you didn't know Phel.

• Not noticing him, you started singing the solo and, my my, our boy was shocked.

• He realised you didn't know he was there, but he just stared at you awestruck.

• You never raised your voice in front of him, but to hear it so loudly, he was certainly amazed by it. (Doesn't mean that you were screaming, but it is pretty loud when someone sings right next to you, been there, done that myself)

• It was powerful, and even if he didn't understand a word of what you said, he still thought it was beautiful.

After ending your solo, you turned around and saw him, completely frozen in the spot.

Your cheeks went red

"Phel!" You exclaimed. "I didn't know you were home."

He grabbed his phone and wrote on the notes: do it again

"You... wanna hear me sing?" He nodded his head.

"And to think people say I'm too loud when I sing like this... don't you mind?" He shook his head to indicate a no.

Ezreal

• He kinda knew you sang a little, but he never knew what kind of genre you would be into.

• When you heard their song for the first time, you liked it a lot, so he thought your favourite genre of music must be electronic or pop.

• Truth to be told, you were really versatile with your taste in music.

• You two have a shared playlist where you once put an aria by accident, and you didn't notice until he told you.

"Babe, do you listen to classical music?" You stared at him. How did he know?

"Yeah... I usually sing it too..."

"Shut up, let me hear you! I wanna hear you sing the one you put in our playlist."

Panic. Total fucking panic. What if he didn't like it? What if you messed up the high note? What if...?

"Okay" you finally gave in.

"Let me just prepare a little... I don't wanna hurt my vocal cords."

After preparation, you started. Your heart pounded like crazy.

All went smoothly. You were so scared of having a voice crack but it never happened.

He got his yellow glasses and put them on his face just to push them down (like the scene in the MV).

"Why didn't you tell me I have a soulmate who sings better than me?"

"What...?"

"You can do high notes and everything! I need to tell this to everyone! My soulmate is already special by themselves, but this? You're amazing!"

Sett

• I feel like his mother would turn up the volume of the radio whenever classical music was put.

• He usually rolled his eyes when he was younger, but with age he started to understand the work and the vocal training people put to reach those levels. He respected it.

• Once you were going somewhere so he turned on the radio to put some music and the station the radio was on was the one of classical music.

• Before he could change the station you started singing.

• He secretly started to record you.

• He was impressed to say the least.

You looked over to him. "Delete that. Now."

"Oh come on, babe. You have millions of videos of me singing. Why can't I have one of you?"

"Touché..."

"Do you think I can sing whatever you sang now?"

"Do you wanna end up like Phel?"

"Omg, no"

"Then don't"

Kayn

• Bro rolls his eyes whenever he hears the words classical and music put together.

• He will pretend to throw up whenever you make him listen to a song that's not rock, pop, metal, or anything that doesn't have fast rhythm.

• One time it happened that you found a recording of you singing.

• He wanted to listen to make fun of your taste in music, but he was...

• He couldn't understand.

• Something he thought was lame just became... angelic.

"So... what do you think...?"

"It's okay, I guess"

"Wait... you are telling me that you liked it? Kayn, sweety, are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine. And what's with the sweety now? Don't say that again"

So, under that façade of the bad boy, there is a golden heart after all.

Yone

• He listens to the classic music playlists on spotify. You can't tell me otherwise.

• Would be delighted to know that you two shared this little interest.

• Would let you sing him to sleep if he allowed himself to rest.

• Once, because you had a minor argument, you slept in separate rooms.

• He couldn't sleep so tried with the music he had saved of spotify but nothing worked.

He knocked at your door.

"What?" You asked him, still pretty pissed off, but probably because of the tiredness and the sadness.

"I can't sleep."

"Me neither"

"Can... can you sing me that one melody you sing me everytime?"

"Can't you just listen it on your own?"

"Why deprive myself of the better version when I have it right in front of me?" The reality was that he needed your voice and not some of a stranger.

If your body wasn't a solid, it would have melted right there.

"Fine..."

(But no seriously, how can you not love this man)

K'Sante

• He would start humming with you some famous pieces.

• I don't know why but I have the feeling that he also has heard somethings so he has a basic knowledge of classical music.

• He asked why didn't you join a choir yet. With your talent, you should.

• He once tried sneaking up on you while you were reading a music sheet.

• With how scared you were you hit a high note that wasn't even in your range, or at least you thought it wasn't.

• The man was too stunned to speak.

"Did you just...?"

"I didn't even know that was in my range..."

"What were you reading anyway? Did you join a choir?" He gasped in excitement.

"Yeah... I followed your advice. It's actually more welcoming than I thought it would be"

"I'm so happy you're comfortable there!" He picked you up and hugged you.

A/n: Hi there! Paranoia has been stuck in my mind for quite some time, so I thought I might write something for the boys from the perspective of someone who grew up in a family of musicians and professional classical singers.

Riot... you gotta tell me why do you create them, make them drop a banger, and make them disappear into thin air.

I am waiting for a comeback of both K/DA and True Damage.

I hope you liked this! As always, requests are open. Check my pinned post!

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 2.2

Prettyyyyy

Maybe John's not actually crazy for thinking Hey Jude is to him? “For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool by making his world a little colder.” fool is, in my tin hat world, often a code name for Paul in their songs. And that description is certainly him to a t actually. I wonder why I've never considered it before. 

John: are you happy here, honey? Paul: I ain't happy here my honey, can you take me back? How many songs does Paul write from 1968 on about trying to go back? One day I'm going to make a list and it'll be a long one. 

And thus begins the phase of they just can't help it, can they? But they really wish they could. They make each other so so happy, but they really wish they didn't. It would hurt less that way. 

I love the comparison of Linda's pictures of everyone else and then of John. It just shows that it's not a her problem – that's such a lovely one of George, who Hates Yoko – it's how he feels about her.

John, coming up with every possible weapon to provoke Paul, finally has Yoko sing Paul's part in one of their songs. It really is such a slap in the face. But of course breaking the sanctity of their music is what does it best. And still, all he gets out of him is a look before he walks away. Whatever it is that John wants, I think Paul literally can not give it to him. 

Btw the white album is my favorite, probably. There's just such incredible diversity on it. It's so much fun, you never get tired of it, and it's an excellent display of their genius and versatility. 

He looks like an abandoned puppy. 

What do we think? John says Paul drummed on WDWDITR. Paul says Ringo did. Who is telling the truth?

“It was getting to be where he wanted to do it like that but he couldn't make the break . . .” So John thinks Paul doing his songs by himself means he wants to break the group up? I personally read it as him not wanting to annoy everyone with his bossiness, but that's just my take. 

John talking about how it's him and Yoko now, but before, it was . . .

George needs to send them a cease and desist notice or he'll sue them for breech of character the amount of times they drag him into things he's not a part of. Especially if they're not going to even fucking spare him a glance in reality. Please and thank you, Hare Krishna. 

Paul's epigraph on the two virgins cover. “Battles to prove he was a saint”? What kind of passive aggressive shit is that, Paul?

The eternal question: what happened in India? And does John really not know? Or is he just unwilling to tell what happened to rolling stone?

Somebody please engage with that poor little boy, preferably, you know, his father. Ugh, Cynthia must've had so much anxiety watching that footage, or really any time Julian was with John. And that footage is placed in the doc right after a pic of Paul already being Heather's dad just so naturally. 

But hell, if I've ever seen attention-seeking behavior, this is it. Singing about wanting to die while seductively undressing the closest thing Paul would've had to career competition at the time. 

I'm sorry but it will forever be hilarious to me that when John's singing his part of “I've Got a Feeling” with Yoko it's “soft dream” and then with Paul it's “wet dream”. How John and Yoko tricked everyone into believing they were too horny for each other to control themselves is beyond my imagination. 

On the day John plays their sex tape, “Unusually, Yoko is not present.” LMAO girl same. John: I'm going to play our sex tape for the band tomorrow. Yoko: oh was that tomorrow? Damn, I forgot, I have a thing. 

“Well that's an interesting one.” What did John honestly expect, though? Like I know he wanted Paul to be like, “that's it! Enough is enough I'm taking you home and doing you right!” Or whatever. But what did he honestly, realistically expect?

Always saying the same things at the same time, always on the same page, same word. About everything, it seems, except their relationship. 

Paul: but you won't say anything about it. John: I said what I've been thinking. Paul: Are you still thinking that now? What are you thinking now? John: I'm still thinking about it. Infuriating. Whatever it is John's been thinking, he doesn't want to talk about it in front of cameras. Is it quitting the band? I think it's something more complicated than that but I've no idea what. 

“John, John, joooooohn!” X “Martha my Dear” crossover my beloved. The fact that literally Everyone reacts and tries to get her to stop except Paul is so extremely telling. Yoko: joooooohn! Ringo: He's busy! Yoko: joooooohn! John: Stop that! (And he looks and sounds genuinely pissed) Yoko: joooooohn! Paul: (plinking and pounding away, definitely not thinking thoughts about what he would do right now if he was a girl that will come out of his mouth fifteen years later)

Everyone's trying to figure out the problem with George vs JohnandYoko and Paul's saying “and like with Yoko, they’re real. They mean it.” Linda laughs. “I don't dig that.” You don't, Linda? What about them isn't real to her, I wonder. Does she think they don't really love each other? Or what?

Linda: *Makes fart noise* Go away! Paul: continues to defend them. Neil: everybody cough. See and this is why it sucks that get back was so edited. Because it's important that Paul's defending them here not just going on and on where nobody asked. He knows he's hurt John, and he feels bad enough about it to let him have his mommy with him at all times if that's what he needs.

If what??? Someone needs to force them to finish their damn sentences. Because I feel like he cuts himself off here when (I swear!!) he's about to say what it is that's hurting John so badly.

Anyway, here's where (imo) he's kinda wrong. Where he says "if it came to a push between Yoko and the band, it's Yoko." I think I said it in my get back posts, but I'll say it again. Yeah, if it was Yoko or the band, it's Yoko. But if it's Yoko or Paul filling all the gaps Yoko is currently filling? It's Paul. You know? And I think that's what John wants so badly at this time, actually. Is “a push between Yoko and [Paul]” ending with Paul stepping up for him in some way that he wasn't before, you know?

He really does get it though. John wanting to be as close as possible with Yoko so he doesn't lose her and their connection. Don't forget he does put Linda in his band. He gets it because it was the same with him and John. 

I really do think it's a huge myth that they just never talked about feelings or anything serious. Look at them. This is how they talk in a crowded place with their girlfriends sitting right there. They didn't just get through fifteen years of one of the greatest collaborations in history never actually talking. They talked about deep stuff. And frequently. 

[overtail]

Can u do zuko x tall reader headcanons? Her being his height or an inch taller??

i mean I'll do that but way taller since Zuko is canonically 5'3...................

he's our short king guys

Zuko x Tall Reader Headcannons

pre-book 3 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔

-zuko was always taller than you as a kid

-he was always teasing you since you were such a short girl

-over summer break, when you and your family went on a trip when you two were 11, you came back extremely tall

-'pre-teen growth spurt I guess?'

-he always felt very inferior to you

-you just kept getting taller as the months went on

-when you signed up to fight in the army, you were teased and called a boy by the others in training

-zuko always defended you, and made sure you felt like a girl

-he would get you flowers, try to get dresses for you, and would always call you his 'girl best friend', even though you were his only friend

-when he was sent on the mission to find the Avatar when he was 13, you couldnt accompany him

-you were devastated, even going as far as trying to quit your soldier training

-but when he left, you gave up on your efforts

-you worked hard, writing letters to zuko that were never sent

-you celebrated his birthday, buying gifts that collected up in the closet of your bedroom

-everyday you believed he would come back

-but he never did

-you gave up after about 2 years

-you tried to focus on your work of becoming a soldier, graduating at 13

-you were the most versatile and strongest because of your height, and you were the top of your ranks

book 3 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔

-over three years later, zuko returned

-his hair was longer, his scar was fully healed at this point

-he was taller now, but not by much. you still towered over him

-he didn't recognize you at first. you of course knew it was him, since the announcement of his arrival was spread throughout the kingdom

-since you were the most trusted by your commander, you were assigned to guard zuko

-you waved awkwardly at him, and the only thing that confused him was that such a tall person has such a feminine figure

-he didn't see your face under the helmet, so that added to the non recognition

-'y/n?'

-he hugged you the moment you took off your helmet, waving back

-you were maybe 2 or 3 inches taller than him

-though it had been 3 years, it was like you were back at iroh's house, learning how to play pai sho

-'you're a soldier now? sick'

-he was already happy that he had his honor back, but seeing you made him ecstatic

-every say you two would take walks around the palace

-you two would eat lunch together, visit the village

-until he started dating mai

-you held no grudge against her - she was a lot like zuko

-you were happy that he met his other half, someone so indifferent to him

-that's what made you jealous

-you two stopped hanging out like regular

-'wanna get lunch?' 'I'm going on a picnic with mai'

-the title friend slowly faded into just being his bodyguard

-🔞it was always so awkward hearing him and mai get up to things in his room as you stood guard outside

-🔞you always wished it was you

-the possibility of you being too tall ran through your mind, how being a soldier cracked your femininity

-on the day of black sun, you caught him writing a letter and setting it on his desk

-'what are you doing zuko?' 'theres no time to explain'

-you insisted that you come with him, that you could help him

-it was both because you wanted to protect him and stay with him

-he told you that he was abandoning his role as the crowned prince of the fire nation, and that if you wanted to come with, you'd no longer be a loyal soldier

-when he said yes, you were both ecstatic and worried

-you would be leaving your whole life behind - you'd be commiting treason

redemption 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔

-none of the members of the Gaang trusted you and Zuko

-they thought you were one of the soldiers that were on the ship with zuko

-you tried explaining to them you had to be 16 to graduate the training academy, and zuko left when they were both 13

-when sparky sparky boom man attacked, you and zuko helped fight him

-they trusted you a bit more, but still held a grudge against zuko

-they forced you two to sleep in a secluded tent together

-the first night you two stayed, there was an awkward silence

-you two were still distant

-'what was in that letter?'

-zuko explained to you that in that message, he told mai that he was leaving her

-he thought it was for the best

-you felt bad for him, not aware that he was going through a break up without telling anyone

-but at the same time, you were happy

-you had a chance

-'im sorry man'

-you tried to hug him, but he looked away.

-something was off about him

-'what wrong zuko?' 'i need to tell you something'

-he not only broke up with mai because he was leaving, but because he liked you

-he looked up at you as you two sat in the tent. the lantern light flickered as you moved closer

-the kiss was soft and first, tender, and practically just a peck on the lips

-when you pulled apart, he was extremely red

-🔞kissing wasn't all you did that night

freaky deaky 🔞 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔

-zuko loved putting his face in your chest when you hug

-he likes kissing every part of your body, especially since there's so much of it

-he likes it A LOT, especially when he can make you buckle beneath his words

-you're such a strong girl that it makes him powerful when he's dominating you

-likes the arch of your back when he's hitting it from behind 🫣

-loves watching your long fingers prepare yourself for him

[ride-thedragon]

Now on to something entirely too personal. HBO, please hire black women to do black hair. Like the Bailey sisters have been on this earth long enough for you not to hate crime Rhaena and Laenor. Baela and Laena suffer from the white mom with mixed daughters' agenda. Corlys has his buss down, side part, lace front but it sits that way because Steve, the actor, is bald. There isn't a clear part in sight for the richest house in Westeros. I don't understand why the Velaryons have ash-gray roots. With Addam, Alyn, and Nettles dawning on us soon please do better. Some thoughts for your labour ahead.

Utilize the Bailey sisters and their contributions to styled locs for Rhaena’s sake.

2. Cut Baela’s hair. For her sake focus on braids and beads.

3. Allow her to usher in a wave for the girls with her appearance. Nettles would gag them.

4. Our last girl. The Princess Dianna of Westeros. Lady Laena deserved better while with us. Walk with me.

5. In a bigger step towards the right direction and with the pride black people have when it comes to hair, why would we not style the men's locs. Corlys will guide us.

6. Laenor sweetie I'm so sorry for the helmet wig they gave you.

7/8. The Of Hull boys will bring us hope and prosperity. Marilda won't have them looking messy on the Hull shores.

All in all, I hope the stylists use their time off to hire black people. Entire stories could've been told with Laena, Rhaena, and Baela’s hair on the show, same with Corlys and Laenor but instead, we went with inspired choices that fell flat with the execution. Locs are some of the most versatile styles and curls are stunning. Hair, especially textured hair care and styling is a labor of love and I hope it's shown in upcoming seasons.

[charles-leclerc-official]

I'm so proud of both of our Ferrari drivers so far this year. They have both been putting that red car where it belongs, on the podium. Their consistency has been carrying us to a very strong place in both standings. Some of the best driving of the season has come from both Charles and Carlos. And driver of the day has been won by our boys in red 5 times out of 8 rounds(Charles twice, Carlos twice, and Ollie once). Feels likes every person on the team is bringing respect back to Ferrari. Our team principal is on it, our drivers are having the best seasons of their careers, our engineers are cooking, out pit crew is on fire, our newest race engineer is already killing it.

And our car is beautiful and fast and versatile!

Such a good season for Ferrari thus far as we have completed 8/24 races this season. Each of our drivers has a win(most of another team outside of Red Bull <3)

This season has just given us so much already, and I think we will be seeing many more podiums this season for both our drivers!

Forza Ferrari

[tomorrowxtogether]

TXT on Maturing, Packing for the Act: PromiseTour, and Skin Care Essentials

Snapshot! is a Teen Vogue style series where we ask artists to take candid pics and share a glimpse of their style and beauty routines. In this installment, K-pop boy group TXT takes Teen Vogue behind the scenes at the New York stop of their Act: Promise tour.

When the members of Tomorrow X Together (TXT) aren’t attending Fashion Week — whether on the runway or in the front row — they’re jet-setting on tour. However, it's an equally chic occasion — and their latest tour, Act: Promise, is proof of that.

Across the United States tour dates, the concerts’ carefully crafted stages encapsulated the K-pop group’s five-year journey in just a few hours for fans, known as MOA, to experience together. The styling plays a major role in doing so, from their grand entrance with “Deja Vu” to their low-key looks for the youthful anthem “Cat & Dog.”

While the members — Soobin, Yeonjun, Beomgyu, Taehyun, and Hueningkai — make it look seamless on stage, touring isn’t an easy feat. Preparations for concerts may start months before in Seoul with fittings and dress rehearsals but continue until the very last outfit change backstage and even when the members are doing skin care after the show. To learn about it all and soak up the backstage buzz, Teen Vogue caught up with TXT before their sold-out show at Madison Square Garden in New York City on June 1, 2024.

Back in 2019, TXT was first introduced to the world with bright colors, playful patterns, and skinny jeans with their “Crown” music video. Now, the group is known to have a more elevated style with nods to punk and grunge aesthetics. “Because it's been some years since we debuted, I think I would describe it as a journey of growing and being mature, so we definitely see maturing changes in our aesthetics,” Taehyun tells Teen Vogue via an interpreter.

“I wouldn't say it was a radical change, but it was more like a gradual change and gradual being mature and growing. I would say after our second LP, our style definitely got a little more mature than before,” he adds, referring to their album The Chaos Chapter:Freeze, which features the hit single “0X1=Lovesong (I Know I Love You).”

On this tour, the setlist visits each of the group’s chapters, but rather than in chronological order, the arrangement and coordinating outfits explore a motif. “Each show has five sections, and each section has a distinctive theme,” Hueningkai explains. “Our look and our outfits also changed according to the theme.”

For their grand entrance, the group emerges on the stage clad in lace cloaks while wearing white trousers and gray blazers, accentuated by harnesses and chain links, combining their princely charms and pop punk sounds. Within the same section, the members make a quick outfit change to pay homage to their South Korean culture. “We have the song ‘Sugar Rush Ride’ rearranged with Korean traditional instruments, and we also dress in Korean traditional costumes,” Hueningkai says, referring to the hanbok.

The next section, marked by the hit songs “Magic” and “Trust Fund Baby,” showcases the members' more casual side. They are clad in relaxed-fit jeans and designer graphic tee shirts. Whereas they typically wear baby blue varsity jackets with bedazzled wings for this part of the show, for that weekend, the group wore New York Rangers gear, a nod to Madison Square Garden’s home team.

As the group splits up for their unit stages, the youngest members, Beomgyu, Taehyun, and Hueningkai, shed the jackets and rock out to “Quarter Life” in simple ‘fits. Meanwhile, the eldest, Soobin and Yeonjun, change into belted black and white tank tops, respectively, for their performance of “The Killa.” Promptly after the duet and before “Back For More,” they put on sparkly black jackets and rejoin the youngest members who are already wearing the same. Taehyun favors this part of the show for its versatility. “When the light gets dark, we can change the [jacket] really quick, so it gives more variations to the outfit,” he confesses.

As Taehyun notes, the members switch into a more grunge look shortly after. “We wear leather jackets for the third section where we perform ‘Puma.’ Because I think the leather jackets go very well with us all and it just gives off a really hip vibe, I like that one,” Beomgyu says.

The last look of the night comes with the encore, a time the group utilizes to engage and make more memories with MOAs. Their choice of clothing highlights this. Swapping their more extravagant costuming for more casual, fun looks, the group wears hoodies and T-shirts from their merch collection for the tour with classic blue jeans and a simple accessory or two. This look is Hueningkai’s favorite as the comfy, casual nature suits him.

When asked to describe his personal style, “hoodie and jeans” is Hueningkai’s response. His style prioritizes practicality, just like Taehyun, who adds, “I would say I like various styles, but I would say I would choose comfort over fashion.” Fitting for the early June climate in NYC, he explains, “For example, I don't wear long sleeves in hot weather.”

“Like Taehyun said earlier, I like a variety of stuff, but recently, I refer to the street fashion in the UK or Japan,” Yeonjun says. His off-stage looks this tour have consisted of chunky sneakers, layers, and baggy silhouettes for an effortless yet cool look. “I definitely refer to his style. I sometimes try to follow his style,” Hueningkai says in admiration of the eldest.

Soobin and Beomgyu lean towards a more preppy side. Both seem to have their wardrobe essentials figured out. “I like clean-cut style,” Beomgyu says. “Recently, I've been purchasing a lot of wide-leg pants.” Soobin adds, “I also like neat and clean-cut style, so most of my items are button-up shirts.”

Having a practical sense of style does have its benefits on tour. At this point, it seems like the TXT members are pros at the art of packing to be on the road for prolonged periods of time. “It doesn't take that long to pack because we're constantly on a tour,” Beomgyu says. “Sometimes I just leave my luggage packed and just add a little more items to them. For example, a few tops, a few bottoms, a few shoes. But I make sure that I do have my personal makeup tools or makeup items, like cleansers. For those things, I make sure that I do have my own stuff.”

For Hueningkai, it takes a little bit of research. “When I pack for a tour, I definitely make sure that I check the weather because you want your clothes to fit the weather there,” he explains. “For example, if you're traveling to a city where the temperature is high, you make sure you have short sleeves and really light materials.”

Yeonjun’s technique is classic for a fashion lover. “I overpack because I like clothes,” he says. “But I also make sure that there is a little bit of room, considering that you're going to shop when you go to a new city.”

The TXT members are equally sensible when it comes to picking essentials for their carry-on bags. Hueningkai, like many other K-pop idols, notes the importance of comfortable shoes when off the stage and says slippers are his must-have.

Soobin and Taehyun’s travel essentials allow them to have some fun when they can while traveling. Soobin selects a tablet, particularly one loaded with dramas. (On this tour, he chose to watch Queen of Tears.)

Staying active seems to be on the mind for Taehyun. “For me, it's a bathing suit because you stay in hotels when you're on a tour, and sometimes you find really nice swimming pools there,” he says. Similarly, his form of self-care on tour is exercise, so he says he carries a resistance band so he can work out anywhere, even in the hotel.

As for skin care, the group stresses mastering the important basics. “I've recently started to practice this, but I make sure that I wear sunscreen before going out,” Taehyun says. “So that’s my beauty tip.” Also, taking the late spring weather into account, Hueningkai adds.“For me, it's to keep hydrated, so drink a lot of water.”

While the hype and excitement of a concert may culminate before the show, it’s the youngest of the group, Hueningkai, who reminds us that a post-show routine is just as worthwhile for both artists and fans alike. “It's important to really remove your makeup thoroughly,” he says. “So I use cleansing oil — all those makeup remover items. And make sure that you moisturize your skin after that.”

[vampiresareqt]

WHY Iñaki HAS BEEN Luffy SINCE THE BEGINNING!!!

A summarised history of Iñaki Godoy Jasso and his parallels to Monkey D. Luffy

I'm sure Iñaki tried to keep his composure so hard. (Our Cry Baby) But on his way home he broke down in tears and laughter (Such a Joyful boy)

Just to make this video even stronger; Iñaki's goals as a child were to make people laugh and to use his genuine smile to make others smile. He CRAVES freedom too!

And at one point he even wanted to become a competitive eater, 'cause HE LOVES FOOD!

REACHING HIS GOALS

Source: [x]

How much did he want to reach his goals? He was once bailed on by one of his partners in a play where he had the role of the mischievously grinning Cheshire Cat (Also fitting wtf) He was like 8???

And while he was panicking at first, he improvised his way out of it, saw the smiles and laughter of the crowd and DID NOT WANT TO GIVE UP. He felt the freedom of acting and expression and the joy of seeing people laugh. He literally said he wanted to continue acting CAUSE OF FREEDOM!!!

He later pursued comedy, 'cause of his love of cheering people up...

If you don't really remember the significance of "freedom" when it comes to Luffy,

"Sometimes, an honest smile is more than enough."

He values smiling and making others smile. And just like Iñaki, one of Luffy's key assets is his wide smile! So when Iñaki did his research on Luffy he didn't want to make it too complicated at first. He narrowed him down to that smile we love and aimed to perfect it. And of course, as the smiley person he is it came naturally.

This also kinda parallels Luffy's "Don't care about the story, just get me to do something." mindset. In this case, Iñaki going for an audition kind of blind, then simplifying Luffy's character and then building on it with 100% determination is so reminiscent of our boy. He ended up appreciating and admiring Oda-Sensei so much after getting involved. And making him laugh came naturally to him as well.

Helping people is important!

He loves doing charity things. Especially knowing his little sister endured a lot of hardships, he as a young child did a campaign against bullying and to raise awareness... "The Jasso-Godoy Family are the group leaders of CAP Grupo Mexico in Mexico City, Mexico and their own non-profit!!!"

"Mia is beautiful the way she is. Any way she is, I'd still love her. If there is someone at school... or anywhere, be nice to them, okay? I am her brother."

Watch the heartwarming video below!

He is very flexible in ways he can do so many things, versatility, but also physically, he loves jumping around and doing tricks and even when he gets hurt he smiles, cause he learned from it and had fun...

In this video he is introducing himself and talking about his versatility. Saying "Whatever you want me to do, I'll be at your service." So if you have goals in your movie or show, he will do his utmost best to make it a reality.

Hope I translated it correctly...

Always a Pirate

He has also always had something with the sea and pirates... Foreshadowing

In the same TikTok he was talking about his mischief he showed us a pic of him as a kid, where he is wearing a pirate themed Spongebob T-Shirt. EVEN THE POSE IS VERY LUFFY!

In one of his Insta posts, while he was on his 80 day trip around the Caribbean he posted an even older pic of him and his sister Mia WEARING PIRATE OUTFITS.

I immediately said he bares a striking resemblance to young Luffy smiling.

UNCANNY!!!

So in the end...

Even without mentioning any of these childhood things Iñaki experienced before finding One Piece. Just that short audition clip made Oda laugh instantly and overwhelmed Oda with Luffy vibes. JUST FROM IÑAKI'S GENUINE ENERGY!!!!!

So people saying Oda's Haki predicted Iñaki is like... I could kinda believe that. Or maybe the reason why the Live Action did not start production till about 4 years later, is because we had to wait for Iñaki to grow up to the same age as Luffy, 17, for Oda to meet the person who best represents his beloved main character.

[scrumptiousstuffs]

Hehe, personally I think Alan was the most pathetic character of First ever. I mean he was a loser of the 1st degree (Sand was much much better in comparison) but the somdom and First solos specially love him. So I think everyone just loves him to see play dejected and rejected characters. It won't be bad if Bison dumps him (cause of his betrayer ass) at the end of THK 👀 But then those who want 'happy ending' for all the cps might not like it.

With the limited screen time First had as Alan - he made it work.

You called him the most pathetic character - and you know what? I bet Alan thinks the same of himself when Wen shouted at him that he only slept with Alan because he felt sorry for him. You could see the crushing blow to his pride and self-loathing written all over his face.

Here is a man who desperately tries to repair his broken relationship and then come to the final realisation that there is really nothing he could do for a love that has lost its spark.

And so, for me - he successfully convey the pitiful state of a guy who is broken inside (before being revived by our angelic Gaipa).

In terms of First playing dejected/rejected characters, I’m interpreting it as you equating First last few characters had him crying or being somber/depressed.

I think he is a versatile actor who shows such wonderful range - yes, the last few shows had scenes of him crying (and I still say FK are one of the prettiest criers out there who makes the audience feel with them).

However, equally these shows also highlight his ability to go beyond just crying/being emotional - Akk cheekily teasing Aye back! or slutty/flirty Yok and Sand steady confidence as he handles Ray. Some actors are stiff, but I find him so fluid in his acting, that I believe whatever he (or Khao) are actually showing us on screen.

As for Bison dumping Kant - well, I have no doubt it will happen (or some version of it), but given the rom-com label that Jojo and the boys keep emphasising, the show will likely end with KantBison driving off into the sunset blissfully together (or as blissful as it can be when one is an assassin and the other is ex-thief tattooist)

[legendary-69420]

Chapter 17: The WIRED Autocomplete Chaos

(Racing Hearts : VOLUME 2)

Song : "Talk Too Much - COIN" Carlos, Charles, Mark, and Max had all been invited to do the WIRED Autocomplete interview. As they waited for the team to set up the room, the four of them lounged around, dressed sharply for the occasion—except for Mark, who, as usual, was comfortably clad in just a hoodie.

The conversation flowed naturally, with the group tossing jokes and random comments to pass the time.

“Guys,” Max said, pointing between Charles and Carlos, then Mark and himself. “You ever realize we all share the same initial with our teammate?”

“Mark and Max,” Charles mused, smiling a little. “Charles and Carlos.”

Carlos grinned, leaning back in his chair. "It’s like fate or something."

Mark, with a playful grin, teased, “Or it's just alphabetical coincidence, mate.”

The crew signaled for them to take their places, and the boys got up, ready for the interview.

The interview began like any other typical WIRED Autocomplete session, with each racer taking turns answering questions based on what people frequently search about them. They each peeled off the white strips of paper to reveal the questions beneath.

Max went first, then Carlos, followed by Charles, each taking their share of humorous or predictable questions, though Max’s deadpan answers stirred a few laughs. Carlos’ charm was met with some light teasing from Charles, who clearly enjoyed seeing his teammate squirm over personal questions.

Then, it was Mark’s turn.

“Alright, here we go,” Mark said, rubbing his hands together as the board in front of him was presented. He tore off the first strip with a dramatic flair.

“First question,” he began, reading aloud, “‘Who is Mark Spencer…dating?’” His eyebrows shot up, and he glanced at the others.

Charles' mouth twitched into a knowing smirk, eyes locking with Mark's briefly.

“Uh, no one. I’m by myself right now,” Mark said nonchalantly, shrugging as if to play it off. Carlos raised his brows in a teasing manner, but Max chuckled under his breath, clearly amused by the public curiosity.

“Next one,” Mark pulled off another strip. “‘Who is Mark Spencer…married to?’”

Mark widened his eyes, looking mock-offended. “Why is everyone so interested in my love life all of a sudden?” he laughed. “I just said I’m single, alright?” He shook his head, looking at Charles, who was trying to suppress a grin.

“People are getting ahead of themselves,” Charles quipped, his eyes glimmering with amusement.

“Way ahead,” Mark chuckled. “Okay, moving on.”

He peeled off the next strip. “‘Who are Mark Spencer’s…parents?’ Oh, that’s easy. My dad and mom are Alessandro and Isabella Spencer, owners of the Spencer business.” He leaned back, giving a quick grin to the camera. “That’s a freebie.”

Max gave him a playful nudge, whispering, “You’re getting all the serious ones.”

“Not for long,” Mark said, peeling off the next strip. “‘Who is Mark Spencer…’” He paused for comedic effect, then sarcastically answered, “Nobody.”

The guys all burst out laughing, with Max nearly slapping his knee.

“Oh come on, man,” Charles said, smirking. “You’re a little more than nobody.”

Mark winked at him. “I mean, you’re not wrong.”

Mark moved to the next board. “‘What is Mark Spencer’s nationality?’ Oh, that’s simple—I'm from il Bel Paese.” He made an exaggerated Italian gesture with his hands. “Italy.”

Carlos nodded approvingly. “Represent.”

Mark peeled the next strip. “‘What languages can Mark Spencer speak?’ Hmm, I’m fluent in English, Italian, French, Spanish, and German.”

“Show-off,” Max teased.

“What can I say? I like options,” Mark said, winking again, this time at the camera.

Next strip: “‘What is Mark Spencer’s…accent?’” Mark grinned. “Well, I can change my accent depending on who I’m talking to. I can do English, French, Canadian, Italian, Australian, American—whatever feels right at the moment.”

Charles rolled his eyes. “Of course, you’re versatile even with accents.”

Mark grinned, moving on to the next question. “‘What is Mark Spencer’s profession?’” He paused for dramatic effect. “I work as a clown.” The sarcasm was evident in his tone, but the others burst into laughter.

“Accurate,” Max muttered, and Carlos couldn’t help but agree.

“Alright, seriously, though—I’m a racer. You know, the one who drives fast and wins things.” Mark smirked before ripping off the next question.

“‘What movie has Mark Spencer been in?’ Oh, this is recent! I was in the Barbie movie, starred as a Ken. It was my first movie, and I had fun shooting it.”

Charles snorted. “You’re going to milk that for a while, aren’t you?”

“Absolutely,” Mark winked.

Then came another question. “‘Mark Spencer’s…ring?’” Mark held up his hand, displaying the ring. “You must mean this one. Apparently, fans are more interested in what I wear than my racing, but hey, it’s cool. This is a gift from Melvin, Charles’ nephew.”

Charles gave a small smile, clearly pleased that Mark was proud to wear it.

Mark continued to the next. “‘Mark Spencer…shirtless.’” He paused, raising an eyebrow. “Well, I’m flattered to see this in the top searches related to me.” He suddenly lifted his hoodie up, flashing his abs.

Carlos burst into laughter, Max shook his head, and Charles groaned while laughing. “Seriously?”

“Nobody can resist these bad boys,” Mark said, winking at the camera before pulling his hoodie down.

“Alright, next question,” he said, trying to regain some composure. “‘What does Mark Spencer think of me?’” He chuckled, leaning in toward the camera with a playful smile. “I think you’re a wonderful person with a bright future ahead of you. You’re great. Also…I’m free tonight, so hit me up at 8.”

Charles facepalmed, shaking his head while chuckling, and Carlos nudged Mark’s arm playfully.

The final question: “‘Mark Spencer X F1 racers ship.’” Mark’s eyes widened in mock surprise. “Dude, I knew this was going to show up! These people can’t leave me alone.” He laughed. “One time, I read a ship about me and…Toto. Hilarious.”

The room erupted in laughter, with Charles giving Mark a playful shove as Max and Carlos shook their heads, grinning.

The video ended, but within minutes of it being uploaded, social media was flooded with comments and reactions. Twitter exploded with #MarkSpencerShirtless, and TikTok videos were already circulating with clips of Mark flashing his abs.

“I swear, they’re going to lose their minds over that,” Max muttered as he scrolled through his phone, already seeing the first few posts about the interview.

“You’re never going to hear the end of this,” Charles teased Mark, shaking his head with a smile.

Mark simply leaned back in his chair, grinning. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

As soon as the interview hit YouTube, social media exploded, and the comments section was flooded within minutes. Here’s a glimpse of the madness that unfolded:

Top Comments:

@f1fanatic23: "Mark Spencer really said 'nobody' when asked who he is 💀😂. My man needs to stop pretending he's not the hottest driver on the grid!"

@charles_leclerc_stan: "Charles’ reaction when Mark flashed his abs! I think we all felt that moment 😳🔥 #MarkSpencerShirtless #SaveUsCharles"

@max_n_verstappen_fan: "Max trying to keep it together while Mark jokes about being in the Barbie movie. ICONIC. Also, where do I sign up to be a Ken? 😍"

@italian_pride: "Mark flexing his multilingual skills like it's no big deal, and here I am struggling with one language 😩 #Goals"

@spencersimps: "‘Hit me up at 8’ WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS?! I swear this man is a menace 😭 someone stop him before I actually text him lmao"

@charlos_racing_duo: "Wait, how did we never notice the Charles/Carlos and Mark/Max teammate initials thing before?! Mind. Blown. 🧠"

@racequeensam: "Mark casually calling himself a clown but then flashing his abs. Sir, the audacity 👑 #MarkSpencerIsNoClown"

@shipping_f1: "‘Mark Spencer X F1 racers ship’…BRUH. And the fact that he KNOWS about the ships is sending me!!! Not Mark reading about himself and Toto!! 😂😂"

@f1_islife: "Melvin’s ring!! The fact that Charles’ nephew gave him that and Mark wears it with pride, I can’t! 🥺❤️ This man is a softie underneath it all."

Replies to the top comments:

@charles_leclerc_stan: "Right?! Charles was not prepared for that abs reveal. Man was like ‘oh no, not this again’ 😂"

@italian_pride: "And he just casually said ‘Bel Paese’ like it’s nothing! God-tier Italian."

@spencersimps: "If I could hit him up at 8, trust me, I would. Mark, give us a sign!"

@shipping_f1: "Fandom ships are wild but the fact he laughs about them is EVERYTHING. Can’t believe he’s aware of the Toto thing though lmao."

More Reactions:

@f1_gossiphub: “Can we talk about how Mark dropped Melvin’s name like it’s no big deal? That boy is full of surprises 👀”

@redbullracer101: “Max and Mark pretending to be normal during this interview when clearly they’re chaotic kings 😂”

@charles_and_mark4eva: "I’m convinced Charles and Mark’s interactions have so much more going on behind the scenes. That little look after the 'hit me up' comment 👀👀"

@f1_memes4life: “Mark calling himself a Ken in Barbie was the best part, hands down. But the internet isn't ready for this man’s humor.”

By the time the interview had been live for just an hour, the trending topics were filled with variations of #MarkSpencerShirtless, #WIREDInterview, #F1Chaos, and, of course, #HitMeUpAt8. Fans were losing their minds, and even the other drivers were joining in the fun by commenting on the video, fueling the chaos.

Lando Norris (@lando_norris): "@MarkSpencer I'm free tonight too. Hit me up at 8 😂 #thirdwheel"

Daniel Ricciardo (@daniel_ricciardo): “Ken Spencer? More like Ken’s better-looking brother. #BarbieKing #MarkSpencer”

@WiredOfficial: “Interviewing @MarkSpencer was an experience in itself. Did we expect abs? No. Did we love it? Absolutely.” --- (This phase covers 2 chapters chapter 17 and chapter 18!)

(Dividers by @enchanthings and @anemichorizon2)

[verysium]

i assume that you listen to the weeknd sooo may i ask for a quick the weeknd song associations w bllk characters perhaps? if possible. i like the way you think of each character and im curios if we have a common perspective at some point

😭 if you mention abel in any ask to me, there is no way it's going to be quick and easy. this took me like a week to process and even longer to formulate my answer. it's difficult to assign just one song to each character because the discography is just so versatile, so there may be some overlap.

THE TOWN

this song is basically kaiser if he left someone in his past prior to joining bastard münchen in his rise to fame. i envision a reader who was with him during the early years of his career (maybe as childhood friends), and he abandoned them when his big breakthrough finally came.

"you did many things / that i liked, that i liked" the covert narcissism here was the selling point. now i'm not saying kaiser is a pathological narcissist, but the way he thinks inherently revolves around himself. he only likes people because they have something he likes. you have to possess something he actually wants before he even bats an eyelash at you. and even when you do get into his good graces, it's conditional. in other words, kaiser's buddy-buddy system is entirely based on value. how much value are you going to provide him, and how long is that value going to last? hence why he's so obsessed with isagi because our little blueberry sprout protagonist has both the novelty and adaptability kaiser desires.

"you made me feel so good / before i left on the road" i know this sounds like some shit a frat boy would spew, but here me out. i think the reason why half the fandom absolutely bashes kaiser's character is because his actions come off as emotionally immature. making arrogant claims with nothing to back them up? having no personal boundaries? manhandling other people? projecting his own insecurities in the form of jealousy? that sounds a lot like some of the male specimens i've seen in today's society, particularly those who make podcasts for a living. kaiser is not a hot bad boy. he's just pure jerk in some cases, and a tragic backstory is not going to justify those actions. but to apply that to a romantic relationship? some of y'all are not ready to hear this, but kaiser is not going to make a good boyfriend. he would most definitely use you.

"you deserve your name / on a crown, on a throne" if there's one thing you should know about kaiser, it's that he will find a way to pay homage to his past, even if it wasn't a good time for him. so despite the way he absolutely ghosted you years ago, he will find a way to enshrine your existence within his. i have a running theory that kaiser's tattoos are actually for the girl he left back at home. he'd probably get your name inked on his knuckles or something.

"but i remember on the bathroom floor / 'fore i went on tour / like you said we couldn't do it again / cause you had a thing with some other man" i've read a lot of fics where kaiser has a possessive meltdown whenever reader finds someone else after their break-up, or even just the reddit theories that kaiser will flip out when ness finally leaves him. i'm going to add my own take on this. yes, kaiser will freak out but only after a long stage of denial. at first, he's going to be unfazed because there's no way you'd actually leave him. and even if you did find another man, you would inevitably come crawling back to him. in his mind, the fact that you two should be together is about as debatable as defying the laws as physics. which is to say, there is no debate.

"now that i heard you're single /...i'll give you something to live for" mr. steal your girl is back. kaiser may be rash and impulsive in his everyday life, but his patience is limitless when it comes to biding his time against his enemies. you're finally big enough to eat, yoichi...does that ring any bells? he will literally wait just so he can see your new relationship crash and burn. and when it finally does, he will swoop in during your time of emotional need and make you co-dependent on him. this man has the self-seeking opportunism of a whole vulture committee.

"and it feels so priceless to me / that you're always free" ok but this double entendre??? like priceless as in you're valuable to the point you're free from anyone's definition of value. but also priceless in the way you're worth nothing, and people can have you for free. this is literally kaiser in any relationship where the other party overcompensates for him. i'm going to use ness as an example. i think kaiser knows how much ness is willing to do for him, and he appreciates it (he better lol) since ness is one of the only people he can actually get along with. but at the same time, the fact that ness would literally do anything for kaiser is also the reason why kaiser takes him for granted. given the large supply of admiration and support, it's only logical that the demand for it should wane. the key to keeping kaiser's attention is scarcity. you can't be too distant from him, but you can't be too close either. if you're right in the optimal middle, then you're scarce, and all scarce things are rare and, subsequently, valuable.

PRAY FOR ME

this song could work for so many characters, but i'm going to go with noel noa because i haven't talked about him much. he fits into this model for "the strongest" character (akin to gojo in jjk or "the little giant" in haikyuu!!) this mentor/role model archetype is incredibly significant in the protagonist's journey to the top. noa is isagi's primary motivation and presumably his greatest obstacle if he were ever to become the #1 player in the world. the tragic aspect to this archetype is that we often aren't given the full picture for these characters. their internal consciousness is eclipsed in some way because the story is written from the perspective of the protagonist. noa grew up in the slums of france, but the manga doesn't actually focus on any of the struggles he had to face. all of that is implied and sometimes even expected. his strength (or at least the image of his strength) becomes everything, and he can't afford to lose any of it. i think that's the saddest part about any character considered the strongest. they push themselves to the top but simultaneously back themselves into a corner.

"if i'm gon' die for you / if i'm gon' kill for you / then i'll spill this blood for you" i know noa's peers like to shit on him for being so serious all the time, but when you're raised in the kind of environment where everything has been against you from day one, the survival mentality is literally ingrained in you. a lot of his advice to isagi is centered around this idea of eliminating any wishful thinking. he can't count on anything that isn't certain. so if he's going to have to make a sacrifice, it has to be worth it. i think that's also why noa doesn't relate to any of the other world class players. he isn't driven by greed or fame or popularity. the egoist mindset doesn't arise from his own personal ambitions. it's simply how he's learned to live life from a young age.

"my heart don't skip a beat, even when hard times bumps the needle" noa is solid. like rock solid, 10 on a mohs hardness scale. but more than solid, he's incredibly sharp in his focus. he specifically tells isagi not to try and play god because he's seen so many other players try to do that and fail. they get caught up in what their goal could mean: victory, prestige, grandeur, control over others. but to noa, a goal is simply a goal. he doesn't care if this is a win or a loss for his team. he doesn't care if this will put him at rivalry with others. all he needs to do is figure out the most efficient way to get a black-and-white ball through the net. and he's so goddamn good at this. he's mastered it to the point he can focus on what he desires right now in this moment and block out everything else as unnecessary noise. hence, he doesn't get overwhelmed by external pressures. everything about him, even his ego, is intrinsic. and that's what makes him the best.

i'm running out of room, so i'm just gonna list the next few below:

starboy: i've seen this song being assigned to either rin or kaiser, but now that i re-evaluate it, i think the self-deprecative and bitter tone fits sae best.

call out my name: reo listened to this the day nagi left him. i was there, so this is a reliable primary source. it is his breakup song.

heartless: i would assign this one to sae. the melody, the vibe, not so much the lyrics. the overall impression just fits him. i don't know how to explain it.

the hills: this song suits barou, and you cannot tell me otherwise. i'm gonna blast this every time he makes an entrance in the manga.

lost in the fire: this is oliver's pre-game anthem. he's not actually as cool as the song implies, but he likes to think he is.

don't break my heart: this is rin when he's acting butt-hurt. his first big heartbreak was from a 180-cm redhead who drinks salted kombucha every morning and has ugly shorn-off bangs.

die for you: honestly this song was made for the children of divorce who grew up with a messed up conception of love and avoidant attachment style, so obviously i'm going to assign this one to hiori.

too late: kaiser plays this from his stereo while he sips on a martini and contemplates self-destruction. he recognizes that he was in the wrong, but is he actually going to apologize? hell no.

moth to a flame: this is isagi being the homewrecker he is. he's not innocent enough to be completely pardoned. i would classify him as either chaotic good or lawful neutral.

gasoline: niko would suit this song cus he can be somewhat nihilistic if he wants to be. also because i headcanon him as someone with a disorderly sleep schedule.

the morning: uh....honestly idk. this one stumped me. it's giving that one barou backshot where he was training shirtless. but it also reminds me of that one kaiser panel with his 300,000,000 salary.

sidewalks: kunigami plays this song while working out. he is the og grinder. started from the bottom and clawed his way up to the top.

how do i make you love me? ness plays this while doodling in his "operation make kaiser fall in love with me" notebook.

less than zero: this is kira after isagi ousted him from popularity. not much else to say.

[hugheses]

Jack Hughes on The Chirp (recorded on 9/12/23).

Transcript under read more ↴

Daren Millard: You always show up at this looking good. Give me an idea of what you're wearing here.

Jack Hughes: I try to look good. Yeah, I got the maroon suit on. The white shoes and the white shirt. That’s it.

Daren Millard: Are you full sneakers with suits now?

Jack Hughes: Yeah, I am. It helps when you're playing better. You know, when you're doing well on the ice, you can- Pete doesn't love it, though. [laughs] But, yeah, I like to wear sneakers with my shoes. I'm pretty much 75 out of the 82 games. Sneakers.

Daren Millard: ‘Kay, Pete, come over here for a second. Just. Just. Why don't you like the sneakers?

Pete Albietz [NJD Comms Manager]: It's not that I don't like it. There's just a time and a place, and sometimes I get a little versatility with the suit game. A little tight shoes, maybe a wingtip. Class it up a bit. He can. He can do it. You could pull it off.

Daren Millard: A little bit of a suggestion. I'm with you, Jack. Let's- let's embrace this. I've gone deep into this now. Are you only swoosh or do you mix that up?

Jack Hughes: No, I- I mix it up. My game on the ice would show that I would wear sneakers off the ice too. So that's why I do it.

Daren Millard: That's well done. Little consistency right across the board. Embrace that flair, right?

Jack Hughes: Trying.

Daren Millard: Yeah.

Darren Millard: What's the summer been like for you? I've been watching you on social media, so walk me through this.

Jack Hughes: [laughs] It's been a good couple of trips with the boys good to be home, trained hard -

Darren Millard: Where’d you go?

Jack Hughes: Went to. I went to the Jersey Shore, went to Montreal for F1, went out to uh, Manhattan Beach, obviously Nashville for the awards, that was fun. And then a few weddings too. So, I was on the move. But I also got to spend more than enough time back in Mich. So it was a really good summer.

Darren Millard: Saw you guys at a football game.

Jack Hughes: Went to. Yep. Summer wouldn't be complete if I didn't go to one U of M football game, so. And I'm like, I didn't even go to U of M. 

Darren Millard: I know!

Jack Hughes: I was saying it like a true- a true fan.

Darren Millard: You- you wore that jersey with a real pride.

Jack Hughes: Well, my brother, both of my brothers and a lot of friends went. So it's like, I feel a part of it as well.

Darren Millard: Did I see the U.S. Open in there, too?

Jack Hughes: Yeah, I did go to U.S. Open.

Darren Millard: [gibberish]  You- what were your seats like?

Jack Hughes: They were pretty good. It was Coco Gauff.

Darren Millard: Yeah.

Jack Hughes: You know, she's the real deal, so it was a lot of fun watching that.

Darren Millard: F1, U.S. Open, Michigan Football. What was the coolest event?

Jack Hughes: I got to be honest. Like I went with Cole obviously and Z and Cole like had us up to the nines-

Darren Millard: To Formula One?

Jack Hughes: Yeah, to Formula One. So we were like completely set up and I had no clue about Formula One. But then you show up and it's like there's diehard fans, you know, And I was just blown away with that event and, you know, Cole set us up perfectly, and a friend of his, Mark Smith, I'm teeing him up right now, but he did an amazing job helping us out. So we had a great weekend there. And then U of M games, always a blast and I'll put U.S. Open in the three hole.

Darren Millard: Do you play tennis?

Jack Hughes: I love playing tennis. Yeah.

Darren Millard: You any good?

Jack Hughes: I'm okay.

Darren Millard: One handed or two handed or backhand?

Jack Hughes: Two handed. Yeah. It's pretty fun, though. Like, well, at my country club, you have to put on all whites. So I'll dress up with our all whites and we're just whacking the ball around, not playing that well, but it's fun.

Darren Millard: To keep it inside the fence.

Jack Hughes: Yeah, Like we - we - we're athletes, you know, we're cool.

Darren Millard: Oh yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend-

Jack Hughes: Give us whatever we'll make it happen. But I’m not saying we're professional tennis players, but we're good. We're pretty good.

Darren Millard: What was last year like for you, that first playoff game?

Jack Hughes: It was so great until the game started, because once the game started, we didn't have- we had a bad game one and a bad game two, and obviously Devils Rangers big rivalry. Really close to each other. So when the Devils were playing well, it was the Devils arena and when the Rangers were playing well, it was the Rangers arena and I was at MSG and the- at the Pru. So games one and two were like road games. Game three was like, Dougie scored that one goal and was like the biggest goal of the year. Game four was like a Rangers game, or a Devils game and then game. It was just like, For that to be your first series is pretty incredible with it being like Devils Rangers and that's kind of how I expected it to be when I got drafted to the Devils and the Devils had the first pick and the Rangers had the second you almost knew at some point we were going to hit each other like on a collision course. So, that was a wild first series.

Darren Millard: Is the rivalry back?

Jack Hughes: You guys tell me. I mean, when you're in it, it feels pretty, pretty back, you know. So I thought that was a pretty crazy series and that was - a bit of the tough part was that that was such an emotionally draining series because you got to remember, Carolina was so far ahead of us for like two, two months leading up to the end of the season. So pretty much for two, three months we knew that we were going to play the Rangers and they knew they were going to play with us. And then like the last week of the season, I think Carolina like, came back down to earth a little bit. And then like, the last game, we could have grabbed the one seed if they lost. But then, I don't know, we- we might have just like, ran out of gas emotionally, heading into the Carolina series.

Darren Millard: We've got the Islanders who are in the mix, Rangers and Devils rivalry. Have you ever been part of anything like that?

Jack Hughes: I mean, no, it's, it's pretty crazy. Especially there's so many other sports teams going on there. But, you know, the Islanders were in the playoffs, Devils playoffs, Rangers playoffs. So just a lot happening in like, the New York/New Jersey sports world. You know.

Darren Millard: Do you ever invade the New York territory, go into the city and hang out a little bit? 

Jack Hughes: Of course, it's New York City, all the time. [laughs] Yeah, but thank God it's the biggest city in the world, you know? Never see any of these guys.

Darren Millard: You're looking at me like I'm a complete idiot for asking that.

Jack Hughes: Well, I mean, you're. It's not fair that you would know, like, I don't think people know how great New Jersey is. And yeah, it takes us 10 minutes to get to New York. Like, I might be closer to New York than most of the Rangers guys because they might live in Connecticut or whatever they do. I don't I don't play for the Rangers, so I don't know. But we have it great ‘cause we go golf in the suburbs in New Jersey or even the Jersey Shore. For me, like, like last weekend I went fishing down in Point Pleasant. So it's like, just a lot of good stuff there.

Darren Millard: For what, what'd ya catch? 

Jack Hughes: A fluke. It was fun. Yeah. So you pull up a stingray, but you don't know what's on the line. You just yank it up.

Darren Millard: But you pulled up a stingray?

Jack Hughes: All of us did. But you don't. You don't touch them. You just cut the- you just cut the line.

Darren Millard: You know who has a better life than you?

Jack Hughes: Probably a lot of people. But I like my life for me. You know, I- I'm living my- my dream. So it's pretty good for me.

Darren Millard: 99 points.

Jack Hughes: Yeah.

Darren Millard: You know, 100. That a goal?

Jack Hughes: I mean, eventually down the road, I would like to get 100 points, whether it's this year or not. Of course I'm pushing, pushing to do that. So yeah, of course I want a hundred points. But how- however it shakes out, you know, I think this is the first year where there's like really a lot of excitement for me going into the season because, you know, like even last year, no one knew or expected us to be where we got to. It was kind of like, oh are the Devils going to be a little better and whatnot. And, you know, this year now there's a lot of expectations, so it's a lot of fun.

Darren Millard: Outdoor game. Tell me about it.

Jack Hughes: Yeah, Should be a- a great event.

Darren Millard: How many times you played outdoors?

Jack Hughes: Zero. I mean a game, game? Zero.

Darren Millard: How many times have you like, skated outdoors?

Jack Hughes: My whole life. That's what I grew up doing. I'd start on ponds-

Darren Millard: ‘Cause you’re of the age where a lot of guys don't do that. They play outdoors-

Jack Hughes: Which is crazy.

Darren Millard: Yeah.

Jack Hughes: Like growing up, I remember my mom would drop us off at the rink, it was a frozen tennis court and we’d just be out there for like 5, 6 hours and then she'd pick us up and that was our day. You know, I go to school and maybe not a practice and just go to the rink. So it was amazing. And I think, you know, that we get to do it when we're like an exciting team to watch. You know, it just makes it even better. So we're really fortunate that, you know, the NHL involved us in the game.

Darren Millard: Who's the first family of hockey? The Tkachuks or the Hugheses?

Jack Hughes: Definitely the Tkachuks. You know, I think we've followed them like, Keith obviously taught Brady and Matthew what they know. Quinn. It's funny that Quinn lived with Keith and Brady, so we're all at Brady's wedding this summer. And it's just funny, I don't think it's a, it's definitely not a competition. It's more of like, us giving the Tkachuks their flowers because, I mean, a lot of what we know is partly based on what they've done as a family as well.

Darren Millard: You guys are looking towards the future. New Jersey Devils are trying to take a step back with Lindy Ruff getting an extension. What's your relationship like with him?

Jack Hughes: Yeah, Lindy's been great for me because when he came in, I don't think- I was- I was a good player, but I'm not what I am today. And, you know, I think he saw the vision with me and he trusted me and he empowered me. And, you know, he's a lot of the reason why I am what I am today. And, you know, I think a coach/player, you're always going to have your like moments where you're like, augh, this guy, and he's going to be like wanting to bench me because I turn a puck over or whatnot. But, you know, I think Lindy’s a great person and Lindy's been a great coach for me and the rest of our team. And, you know, he's the- he's the right guy leading the ship for us.

Darren Millard: You guys, a lot of attention being paid to your shooting room. Is that your idea?

Jack Hughes: I think both of ours, you know, when we were kids, like, the first thing my dad would do when he would buy a house or rent a house, would he put up plywood on the walls in the basement so we could just shoot pucks. And so everywhere we went, we had a shooting room. And then when me and Quinn got our house, I know the Vancouver video got a lot of like love or whatnot, but when we got the house we were like, ‘Hell yeah, we got to have a sick shooting room.’ So.

Darren Millard: So a tricked out shooting room, right?

Jack Hughes: What's that? 

Darren Millard: It's a tricked out shooting room. Like all the bells and whistles?

Jack Hughes: It’s got what you need. I can't say. It's like, anything, like, insane, but it's really good for us. We put our roller skates on and turn the music on and just go shoot pucks.

Darren Millard: Tunes and everything?

Jack Hughes: Yeah.

Darren Millard: I love that. What are the tunes?

Jack Hughes: I listen to country, so.

Darren Millard: Nice. Yeah, I like that. One timers for some fun here. Okay, who would you pick as a roommate?

Jack Hughes: Luke Hughes, ‘cause he's my roommate right now.

Darren Millard: How much is he paying you?

Jack Hughes: Nothing.

Darren Millard: Just a bad deal. Last drive through that you went through?

Jack Hughes: Last drive through, um… maybe Tim Hortons really early in the summer.

Darren Millard: Have you ever drove a standard transmission car?

Jack Hughes: No. 

Darren Millard: Nicest car you've ever driven. 

Jack Hughes: Umm…

Darren Millard: You know what, you know what standard transmission car is though?

Jack Hughes: Yeah, of course. Yeah. [laughs]

Darren Millard: Nicest car you've ever driven?

Jack Hughes: Nicest car I've ever driven. I have no clue. I can't even.

Darren Millard: You can't even narrow it down?

Jack Hughes: Well, I don't like. 

Darren Millard: For most of us it's pretty obvious 

Jack Hughes: What's, what's obvious for you?

Darren Millard: Like I don't have, I would say like a Porsche 911. I drove, but you probably driven a bunch of nice cars

Jack Hughes: I haven't though. 

Darren Millard: Really? 

Jack Hughes: No.

Darren Millard: So have you ever driven one with, like, butterfly doors or anything like that.

Jack Hughes: I play in the NHL. I'm not some… car guru. [laughs]

Darren Millard: You're going to Formula One, U.S. Open, all that.

Jack Hughes: This guy thinks my car garage is insane! Like it's just loaded up.

Darren Millard: What's your car right now?

Jack Hughes: Just a Range Rover.

Darren Millard: That's pretty good. Movie theater or stream at home. What do you want to watch a flick with?

Jack Hughes: Probably stream at home. 

Darren Millard: Best player on your ten year old team.

Jack Hughes: Best player on my ten year old team… Riley Damiani, plays with AHL Texas Stars now. He could shoot the puck, he could... He could do it all.

Darren Millard: Yeah?

Jack Hughes: Yeah. He's a - he's still a good player.

Darren Millard: Do you think he would say you, just out of default, on your ten year old team or do you think he-

Jack Hughes: No, he was.

Darren Millard: He was that good.

Jack Hughes: He was that guy. 

Darren Millard: Yeah?

Jack Hughes: Yeah.

Darren Millard: Of the other three major sports: Baseball, basketball, football. Which one would you be best at?

Jack Hughes: If I- I played baseball growing up, so maybe baseball, but I would like to say basketball, but I’m not tall enough.

Darren Millard: Last concert you went to?

Jack Hughes: Last concert was, I think, Morgan Wallen.

Darren Millard: Good for you.

Jack Hughes: I saw him. He was pretty good. Dierks Bentley, I saw Dierks actually. And then he did the awards. Well he did the awards like two weeks later. The only mistake I didn't- I made was not getting a picture with him because he's like, been my favorite country guy for like, years.

Darren Millard: Okay, we're going to set that up.

Jack Hughes: It- yeah.

Darren Millard: Okay. Stevie. Stevie Mayer? [NHL Chief Content Officer who is in the room.]

Jack Hughes: Well it was like, honestly, it was quick, you remember?

Steve Mayer: [unintelligible]

Darren Millard: We're going to set that up.

Jack Hughes: No, he was in the zone. I didn't want to like like, come on. 

Steve Mayer: [still talking]

Jack Hughes: I didn't want to be like Mr,

Darren Millard: Steve Mayer is like, somehow got into this very [Jack cackles] secure area. 

Steve Mayer: [More unintelligible] have to go in [?]

Darren Millard: You know what? It's an echo. It's a dressing room. We want the guys to feel comfortable. Nothing gets things done, like bringing you into this spot and making it happen. We're going to get that picture. We're going to make sure it happens. Because he's here.

Jack Hughes: Right.

Darren Millard: Because Steve’s here. Okay. Nice job. Let- let's jump on a scale of 1 to 10, what's this been like? What- 1 to 10 rate this-

Jack Hughes: This interview?

Darren Millard: Yeah.

Jack Hughes: It's been great. Good convo, good scenery. Nine.