#otherwise I probably would have learned after the fact and would have been real sad about it

[fipindustries]

scott pilgrim vs the canon

boy you better have this tagged against spoilers because otherwise this is going to ruin a lot of stuff. all im going to say is, this show cannot be watched without having read the comic first so. keep that in mind.

scott pilgrim was the seminal work of my generation, it was the thing that defined us and the internet to a large extent after it came out in full back in 2010. now we are all here back again, in our late 20's, 30's and even 40's to take a second look at this franchise after everything that has been going on.

and this franchise had things to say.

i went in expecting scott pilgrim the comic, this time more lavishly (and faithfully) adapted than the movie could have ever been. suffice to say i was not dissapointed at all because i didnt get that in any way what so ever.

this is in some senses the modern cannibals of the scott pilgrim franchise, perhaps less cynical and bitter. this is an examination of this story from a slightly askew angle. this is a what if that takes itself to another level.

those who say that this "feels like fan fic" are half right, but if so i want to see what fan fics they are reading because i never saw a fanfic that take the world and its characters so wildly out of context, put them in outrageos new situations they would have never been in, do some genuine crack slash ships and yet still feel so genuine, so true to the original. just because none of what is happening here happened in the comic that doesnt mean these arent the characters we know and love and that this isnt the world and the mood and the vibe that that we all grew up with.

the brian lee o malley style is so incredibly hard to capture. its this wonderful mix of over the top anime/cartoony action mixed with incredibly grounded, down to earth, super chill vibe. we've seen the wonders that came out during the 2010's made by other artists inspired by it or directly trying to emulate it, and yet none of them were able to capture it quite right and this show is the bona fide real deal. it made me remember why scott pilgrim captured me so much back when i read it as a teenager, its a mood impossible to reproduce and yet reproduced all the same here in this show.

wonderful.

the animation is of course out of this world. the voice acting could do some work but im willing to let it slide considering that they went with the original cast from the movie.

this story feels almost like an answer to the observation many people made at the end of the comic and specially the end of the movie. that scott and ramona were obviously not meant to last. that they were still too young and too messed up as people and the relationship was probably going to end badly. the show examines all that with raw honestly and concludes at the end that, sure, maybe this is not going to work out. but that doesnt mean they shouldnt give it their best shot.

as i said at the beggining, this has to be understood as an addenum to the comic. it starts as an adaptation, it lulls you into thinking its a wacky what if and ends up being a covert sequel. with that in mind, this show understands that you already understand and know who scott is and what his deal is, so it chooses to focus squarely on ramona and the exes, and let me just say. the exes are the fucking break out stars of this show. i love every single one of them. the fact that each of them get their own little mini arc and a chance to either redeem or at the very least become genuenly sympathetic was absolutely brilliant. these guys are amazing.

this story in general just presents such a feel good, likeable, chill athmosfere, where even villains who seemed irredeemable can still have just a calm conversation with the hero and just chat for a while. share a coffee, wind down.

if i had one single complaint at all is that i was a little sad by the implication that scott wont learn his lesson at the end of the original story and will continue to be kind of a clueless immature douche. but it is tempered by the fact that this story still has a lot of sympathy for young scott and it makes the case that the guy still very much deserves a chance.

so yeah

loved it, great work, it tried to do something super weird and it somehow succeeded. good job 9/10

[thememerman]

Can we just,.,.accept that both Crosshair and Hunter had their reasons for doing what they did?? And honestly neither of them really did anything wrong??

Hunter left Crosshair because he tried to kill them. He didn’t understand anything about the chip, he really thought Crosshair had just lost his mind. And as soon as he learned about it and how to fix it, we immediately jumped to episode 8 where Crosshair tried to incinerate them with a jet engine. He tried to communicate that the chip was affecting him, and Crosshair didn’t care. Hunter couldn’t even get himself or Omega out of that situation unharmed. He had no way to snag Crosshair from his squadron of stormtroopers out for murder. After Bracca, Hunter was focused on getting Omega back because she’s just a kid; she isn’t with the empire, she hasn’t been chasing them down and almost killing them. From Hunter’s POV, the possibility of getting Crosshair to come with them willingly or even at all is looking bleak and even though he knows it’s not Crosshair’s fault, he’s been so overwhelmed with trying to keep the people relying on him safe and right now he doesn’t think Crosshair is relying on him. And honestly, how were they even supposed to know where Crosshair was half the time? He wasn’t on Kamino 24/7 and the Batch isn’t exactly swimming in imperial informants. But that aside, of course he was thinking about Crosshair; Hunter is loyal to a fault and you can just see the emotional pain that flashes across his face whenever Crosshair is mentioned because that’s his little brother and he couldn’t save him and he feels like he failed. Hunter never was and I don’t think ever can be indifferent when it comes to the people he loves. Whether you like it or not, Hunter was trying his best to keep everyone safe and stop running suicide missions because the galaxy was changing and he was trying to change too. He did nothing wrong.

Now Crosshair.

To all of you calling him a Nazi and saying that the animators and writers intentionally lightened his skin just to make a racist show of dominance, stop it. He was referring to their genetic enhancements being superior. That’s it. He’s always hated regs because let’s be fair the regs were never exactly good to him either (AFTERMATH). Now let’s just take a look at how the chip works shall we!! We know from Rex and Wrecker that clones know what they’re doing while under control of the chip and they’re powerless to stop themselves. So we know in Aftermath that the chip was strengthened to an insane degree, and Crosshair could still see himself taking head shots on his brothers and trying to murder them and he couldn’t stop no matter how badly he wanted to. He was powerless. And then the Batch left; at this point he probably understands that his brothers had to go. They’d regroup. They’d know this wasn’t his fault and they’d come back.

Months pass. Crosshair doesn’t know about the solemn looks the Batch exchange when he’s mentioned. Crosshair doesn’t know that they can barely get food for themselves. Crosshair doesn’t know that Wrecker has flat out said he misses him. Crosshair doesn’t know how Tech said “it doesn’t appear he’ll be needing it” with a twinge of sadness in his voice while giving Omega his comm. Crosshair doesn’t know how much Hunter hates himself for leaving and that Hunter was always planning on going back to him someday because someday he’d have the perfect plan and he could save everyone this time. How could Crosshair know?

More time passes. Crosshair probably still has his chip on but he’s still in there, watching himself become more and more important to the Empire. No rescue attempts. Not one. How awful does he have to feel?? They went to get Echo out of Skako with no backup and they didn’t even know Echo and they can’t go back for him? And here’s the Empire, giving him power and some semblance of control. Things are changing fast and now he has nobody but himself to adjust with, and besides, he’s always had an egotistical side so maybe being a commander and putting the regs in their place isn’t so bad to him after all. He’s alone. He adapts or he dies, that’s the job and that’s all he has now.

Onto Bracca!! If Crosshair is telling the truth about getting his chip out, I firmly believe it had to have been after the events of Reunion. It wouldn’t make sense otherwise; “if I wanted you dead, you would be” sweetheart giving the order to have them incinerated and starting to walk away really seems like you wanted them dead and then going from ordering Omega to be executed to telling Hunter that if he cares about her he should let her go and be safe away from them??? You can’t tell me that Bracca!Crosshair wouldn’t have dragged Omega back into the training room and killed her right there just to keep them from choosing her over him. So let’s just assume for now that Crosshair wasn’t lied to and his chip is out (I’m still holding onto a scrap of hope to the contrary because A. there’s no scar B. HE’S STILL HOLDING HIS HEAD and C. my boy isn’t making any SENSE he just killed off a bunch of Imperial stormtroopers to convince the Batch to join his Empire that he cares so much about??) it had to have happened after Bracca I said what I said idc. If the chip is out, I’m sure his head is still an absolute foggy mess because lord only knows what cranking those chips up to full strength several times will do to you, but suddenly he’s realizing that he’s still angry with them. He’s still hurt. He’s still very much alone. Maybe they never cared about him at all.

And don’t get me started on any “if he did any of this willingly he is irredeemable” garbage. How many times did Kallus almost kill the Ghost crew?? I’m sorry, was it not Kallus who ordered the Lasat genocide?? Don’t take this the wrong way, I adore Kallus and his redemption arc was one of the most beautiful things about Rebels but the point is if he can do all of those horrible things for the Empire for years and is still allowed a redemption stemming from realizing everything he thought he was fighting for was a fiction, THEN SO IS CROSSHAIR. With that side note out of the way let’s think about how alone and betrayed Crosshair feels by the Batch and let’s realize that after they left Ryloth, after they left him again, what does he want?? He wants them. He doesn’t want to kill them, he doesn’t want them imprisoned and he doesn’t want to make them pay. He wants to fight side by side with them again, he wants his brothers back. And even though he’s so beyond hope that they still care about him, heck he literally said “don’t make the same mistake twice; don’t make me your enemy” he thinks they were enemies and he still cares about them so freaking much that he went through an entire elaborate scheme to get the whole Batch on Kamino and set up the stormtroopers’ deaths to prove his loyalty that they could have if they just gave him some of their loyalty too. “Loyalty means everything to the clones” is starting to get a really bitter taste innit??

The point of this longwinded rant my friends is to beg y’all to stop being so black and white about these two. They’re both human, they both have made mistakes and have regrets, they’re both trying their best to survive in a galaxy flipped upside down. Things played out how they had to and they’re both victims of the real villain of Star Wars, who has always been Palpatine. The fact that there is so much to unpack with these two characters shows how flipping amazing the writers are!! They’re so layered and complex it’s literally like they’re real!! So please. Stop hating on them so freaking loudly. They’re my boys and they both deserve a warm hug and a nap after the season they’ve had

[obsidianpen]

You do know we would all love to read the tomarry Pokémon fiction, right? It sounds hilarious and brilliant!

Oh girl you don’t even know how complicated that storyline got in my head. I’ll ruin all of the spoilers for it now because I’m never gonna write it.

There would have been a whole arc throughout the story about the ‘legendary hallows’, aka the birds. They’d each correlate to a hallow from hp ish - articuno as the cloak, moltres as the stone, Zapdos as the elder wand. There is a legend that if you capture all three of them you’ll be, idk, the ultimate master. But ofc that’s just a legend because no one really owns a legendary bird; even when ‘caught’ they leave their ‘masters’ when the masters die or like, whenever they feel like it. Everyone knows that prof dumbledore (oak) briefly owned moltres for a time, before the fire bird amicably departed. And Harry’s dad, Harry later learns, briefly owned articuno. No one has seen or heard of Zapdos in decades.

so there’s a whole side story of Voldemorts company (is it still team rocket? Are they the death eaters? Sure yeah) and how they’re really a massive training organization cranking out great trainers to win all the tournaments out there and make all the money you can get from those. They’re trainers have gone as far as the elite four but no one has yet beat Tom riddle, leader of Pride team/house or whatever I’m calling that again. Snape and Bellatrix are two of those trainers and yes, they’re Jesse and James, and yes, they probably cross dress but the absolutely hate each other

Harry does make it to the elite four one day. He and Tom end in a never before seen draw, with the promise that Harry will be able to battle him next year and that Tom keeps his status as current champion. Oh, and later Harry wins part of the prize, which is the master ball (tho tom is not told this; in fact Cedric and the other champions say they think it’s shit he didn’t win and sneak it to him after the tournament is over. None of the like tom, the arrogant prick).

Anyway. Ive probably lost you by now. I swear this would all make a lot more sense if I spent millions s of words writing it properly. Er. Well. Eventually, after a thousand chapters, Harry would end up battling “Giovanni” (Voldemort), because in that year after trying to just be the best trainer ever he would learn about how corrupt that organization is (how they steal Pokémon and other shit too) and would decide he wants to take them down, and that’s more important than winning some fancy title. The moment before the V battle he would have had pika evolve (because we all have to grow up sometime and I always hated how no one ever really evolved in that show, literally or otherwise). Raichu would have beaten V’s Arbok or whatever he had (named Nagini ofc) and it would look for a moment like Harry wins, but then V starts laughing and blasts Harry’s Raichu (is it hedwig? Something else? Idk) with much more intense lightning than anyone has ever seen. Then ice. Then fire.

plot twist, turns out V has visited and found all of the legendary birds, but he never was interested in capturing them. He was only interested in gaining their power because (gasp) that’s right, Voldemort is a fucking Pokémon. Well half a Pokémon his mom was a ditto LMAO I swear this would be great not stupid hahahaha I hate myself, okay but really his mom was a sad ditto that managed to morph in a human look alike and charm a man who naturally freaked the fuck out when he learned what he’d had sex with and therefore baby half Pokémon Tom was abandoned and ditto mom died of grief. He was the only creature ever like it, and it explains who V, at least, can understand Pokémon.

so yeah that battle ends after Voldemort goes on a whole speech explaining this, admitting that he’s also tom riddle and he’s also whatever the fuck he wants to be because he’s the real master, and is clearly about to kill Harry and friends because no one can know all that, when Harry throws the master ball that V doesn’t know he has and… catches him. 🌈

[astaroth1357]

Demonic Pregnancy (But It Makes the MC… Problematic)

Okay, so hear me out. I know the prevailing idea is that a human getting pregnant with a supernatural kid would sap their strength and what not… But what if the opposite happened? So basically, getting pregnant by the brothers would make the MC physically stronger, but more susceptible to their sin… Oh this is going to be fun. 😈

Trigger Warning: Pregnancy

Lucifer

First noticed something was up when the MC came into his office to bring him coffee and casually ripped the door of its hinges… with one hand… by the handle…

He didn’t even have time to be mad about it because he was already frantically texting Diavolo and Barbs that there was something very wrong with the human. They’re not supposed to do that.

Meanwhile MC is in the background marveling at the newly freed door in their hand… They hadn’t even thought about it! Is this what having power is like?? Are they actually dangerous now??? Better not let it go to their head…

*it is totally going to go to their head*

Lucifer learns two things pretty quickly, (1) The human is pregnant with his child and (2) They’ve just been given access to a whole lot of power and they’re mind is set on one thing: Domination.

The next nine months for him are spent practically having to leash the MC or else they’ll go out to pick fights with anything that moves to prove their “superiority”… His brothers and even Diavolo included!

It wouldn’t be so bad if their body wasn’t still very human and very breakable… and also they’re PREGNANT, so please STOP!!

This baby, honestly, could not come fast enough… Good thing demons don’t develop grey hairs… Poor guy…

Mammon

Noticed something was up when they were chatting out at RAD and they dodged a stray ball from Beel. 

They dodged a ball. From Beel. And he throws at, like, Mach 7 speed… And it didn’t even look hard!

… But being the dumbass that he is, he just thought they had gotten a lot better at their magic. It was Lucifer who saw something wasn’t right when the MC was actually holding their own against Mammon and Beel in a race.

Was thrilled by the news at first but then quickly learned that he must have infected them with Greed somehow…

They wouldn’t stop begging for new stuff! Sometimes for him or the baby, but mostly just whatever struck their fancy the second that they saw it.

He’d try to tell them no but then they’d look all sad or whine about hard it was to be pregnant and how they couldn’t do things like tie their shoes or stand for long periods of time or…

(Never mind the fact that they could bench-press Beel if they wanted to, no no, that didn’t matter.)

His nine months were pretty much spent pandering to Lucifer and Levi for more loans to keep his MC happy… and praying they’d snap out of it after the baby finally came because he CANNOT keep paying for their crap…! 😥

Leviathan

MC and Levi playing games in his room and one of their online matches got particularly heated… The MC may or may not be prone to gamer rage, but that night they got so frustrated that they snapped his controller in half like a toothpick…

They were too busy trying to frantically apologize to take notice of their sheer strength, but HE did. And he was thrilled!!

Like, sure, it sucks that he’d have to buy a new controller but that was So. Cool. Their strength was like something out of a shonen!! He was honestly fanboying too hard to question, “Wait a minute, how did they even get that strong??” The MC later went to Lucifer themselves to get it all got sorted out (really Levi was no help whatsoever) and man was he shocked by the news…

Though he was even more shocked by the sudden spike of jealousy that they seemed to exhibit afterward… Like, extreme “You better not leave my sight” level jealousy… 😣

One the one hand, he’s kind of into it because being alone with the MC is all he’s ever wanted!… but on the other hand, dude really wants some space… 

He tolerates the next nine months for three reasons: (1) He does honestly love the MC, (2) Watching them break (other people’s) stuff and fight demons with their bare hands will never stop being cool, and (3) He’s somewhat afraid of what they’d do if he tried to leave so…  😥

Let’s hope the effects are temporary…

Satan

Found out something was wrong when he and the MC went to the park. He saw an old acquaintance of his and left to go say hi but came back to find that the MC had uprooted an entire park bench to squash a nosy lesser demon…

Nothing, absolutely NOTHING, he’d ever read about humans told him that they were capable of that!

Figuring this has some kind of magic origin, he doesn’t bring them to Lucifer but to their resident human sorcerer instead, Solomon…

…and THAT bright idea ended up getting the MC magic tag-along throughout their pregnancy since Solomon wanted to make "a few” observations, the lying bastard… 🙄

Even more unfortunate though, is that the introduction of Wrath into their system also gave the MC an utterly monstrous temper which didn’t help their newfound strength at all…

Poor Satan gets saddled with caring for what amounts to a hair-triggered glass cannon… (though really it’s less protecting them from the world and the world from them 😣).

Needless to say, he’s lost quite a few bookcases over the next several months…

Asmodeus

It was another night with Asmo, so another night out clubbing. He and MC were together for most of the time, but they had left him briefly to get another round of drinks… and somehow got dragging into a straight up brawl in the process.

And they WON…

Asmo brought them right to Lucifer after that. Like, he loves you sweetie, but there were like ten lesser demons there and no way a little human like yourself could pull that off without something being up.

Oh he was overjoyed by the news, but the real test was yet to come… Who would give out first? The Avatar of Lust or a very, very, astronomically horny MC…?

In truth, no one in the House ever wants to talk about what happened for those next nine months ever again… The things they saw… The things they heard… Filthy, filthy things….. 😖

And more broken beds than anyone could care to count…

Let’s just say that they’re all happy the MC was already pregnant, otherwise they’d be dealing with a LOT more demon babies running around… What a hellscape that would be…

Beelzebub

The MC was helping him move some of his weights between rooms. They were only supposed to carry the lighter ones (which really weren’t that light) but they were carrying them so easily that the two got suspicious… They tried to lift one of his heaviest barbells and, to their amazement, they picked it up even easier than he could!

They both just kind of stared at each other for a few seconds before calmly agreeing to go find Lucifer. This probably wasn’t normal…

What pregnancy even was had to be explained to Beel since he doesn’t really understand humans and he only needed one thing confirmed…

So, they’re eating for two now?

And boy did they act like it! The MC’s appetite practically tripled as the months went on and he did his best to keep up for them. He even missed a meal or two for the first time in his life because he was so preoccupied making sure his MC had enough to eat… 😣

Their tastes also got weirder as time went on… At one point they asked for Solomon’s cooking which nearly had him “Nope-ing” out of the relationship right there. He stuck through it to make them happy, but he couldn’t watch them eat it… Even he has his limits, MC… 😟🤢

Wants the baby to come out already if for no other reason than he can finally go back to being the biggest eater of the House again. Having to work around two is a nightmare for everyone…

Belphegor

Would you believe he straight up didn’t know for weeks?

Like, they told him they were pregnant a while ago but all the pregnancy seemed to do was make them really sleepy…

Combine their naps with how often he’s dead to the world and it just never got brought up. 🤷‍♀️

That was until the day it was his turn to vacuum the common room and the MC was resting on the couch…

“MC, can you move? I need to get under there.”

“Hm? Oh, sure. Let me help.”

They then proceeded to get up and lift the couch with one hand like they were Beel or something!

He was, perhaps, slightly miffed that they didn’t think it was necessary to mention they had gotten a butt ton stronger for like a month, but you know…

Belphie has probably the easiest time managing his MC anyway because ALL they want to do is sleep. At most he just has to take on the responsibility to remind them to eat and move around a little.

Lucky bastard always gets off easy… 😖

[sincerely-lev]

yandere ratings. - ushijima wakatoshi x reader, oikawa toruu x reader.

Summary: i rate haikyuu men as Yanderes.

Warnings: yandere stuff, minor character death, babytrapping (ushijima's side.)

A/N: I have been wanting to do this for quite awhile now, remember that **I DO NOT SUPPORT THIS BEHAVIOUR IN REAL LIFE.**

Ushijima Wakatoshi: violent (towards other people & you.) , abusive, possessive.

Danger Level: 100/10.

I think that ushijima would be scary as a yandere, considering on how strong he is.

So if you have him as your yandere, it's safe to do as he would like, or he would be forced to do something he might regret.

He won't force sex on you (yet,) rather, he either threatens you, or lock you up and refuse to feed or give you water until you come crawling back to him, begging for forgiveness and crying.

Oh, how he loves it when you cry, it turns him on a lot, but he won't force sex on you just yet. not yet. He still has his patience dangling off a thin thread.

You probably met when you were just cheering on Adlers, and yet somehow he noticed you from the crowd. You looked so pretty, it was hard to resist your charms, so after the match. he quickly ran over to you, and oh my god were you so surprised and blushing that your favourite player noticed you.

You two talked for awhile, and he got your number. Your friends were cheering on like 'go get that monster cock!' when he left, which of course you told them off.

He believes it was love at first sight, but his heart tugs in pain and anger when he sees you talking to the opposite gender, or in fact, any gender at all.

He stalks you for awhile, scaring off any potential rivals, next thing you know, your friends just avoid you in fear.

When you tried to go on a date with another man, however, that is what leaded him to snapping, he ruined your date, at night, uphill, pushing your boyfriend off the cliff, and holding tightly onto your waist as you cried for your boyfriend, and calling Wakatoshi a monster.

Him, as a monster? Don't you just know that he's doing what's best for you?

Stupid little girl, you can't do anything right without him, that is why he's going to take you in his beautiful house, and force you as Mrs. Ushijima.

He thinks of himself as a traditionalist, where the woman takes care of the child that the husband gives them.

You seem to not want a child from a monster, though.

Just don't try to escape, or he'll drag you back from the hair, breed you over and over, and make sure you're pregnant to never escape him.

You're his and his alone.

Oikawa Toruu: Clingy, Manipulative, Obsessive.

Danger Level: 5.6/10.

He won't be the scariest, though he's definitely not the nicest.

So, if you have him as your yandere, you have to learn how to get past his manipulative behaviour.

He will guilt trip you, saying that you don't love him anymore and will even cry.

As for his punishments, he definitely uses sex as punishment, spanking you, pulling your hair, and generally making you feel like shit. You should be behaving after the session.

He's extremely clingy, always sticking by your side 24/7, dropping anything that he's doing to stay by your side. It pisses Iwaizumi off, but he can't do anything about his friends obsession.

The sad thing is that your friends will be willing to leave you with Oikawa. He has everyone in the school wrapped around his fingers.

Everyone constantly coos about how you two are such a cute couple, and he easily manipulates your parents into liking him.

You probably were Iwaizumi's friend, or at least friends with one of the Aoba Johsai Boys Volleyball Team or in his class otherwise you two would have never met.

That being said,

You were waiting for Issei finish his practise, just on your phone, listening to your spotify playlist.

About to get up to leave him, since you've been waiting for around 30 minutes now, was only then did you see the white and blue uniform.

"Yoooo, babe, you actually waited for me!" Issei shouted, whilst running towards you, the other three Seijoh 3rd Years following.

"Issei, don't call me babe, we aren't dating.." you deadpan, as he laughs, holding onto your shoulder, shaking you.

Oikawa feels his heart beat faster, in both jealousy and love... No, something more than love. Obsession.

He doesn't seem to enjoy the fact that Issei was touching you, even though he was a close friend of yours. He doesn't even know you, but he wants you all for himself.

He starts off by making you put your guard down for him, being friendly with you, and buying you gifts. He drops all of his fangirls, and drops anything for you.

Once you start dating him, it was normal, until it wasn't, and he doesn't want you to hang out with your other friends, tracking you, and generally always wanting to know where you are.

That one time you try to confront him about it, he acted stupid, like what he is doing is normal because you are both dating. He promises he will stop, but he doesn't.

He gets worse... good luck.

[xiv-wolfram]

Primals - Comic Script

Heavensward - lvl 55

Raubahn keeps forgetting Wolfram is now the Warrior of Light 😂 FYI - This is quite probably my favorite thing I've written.

Catch up on my WoLComics (Chronological List)

This is the script for a future comic. Posting for those who don’t want to wait to get the story. Numbers indicate frame number. A or B followed by ) is for a split frame.

Wolf sitting in bed in inn room. Narrator - 'Wolfram, the Warrior of Light, has just learned the truth about the Dragonsong war and is back in Ishgard. Thanks to Hraesvelgr he learned that the primal Ysayle is summoning is not the real Shiva. He's struggling to process this information so he calls his friend (and ex) Raubahn, who is recovering from the loss of his arm in the Waking Sands.'

Wolf is sitting in his bed in the inn in Ishgard. Left hand on ear, using linkshell - "-- and so if what she is summoning into herself is not in fact the actual Shiva, but a version based on her own beliefs then - what is a primal? It's just a construct of the summoner's design. Their beliefs made manifest…"

Raubahn in a bed in the Waking Sands. Right arm to ear /think - "That is indeed a shocking revelation. These beast tribes are not summoning actual gods, but using some other kind of aetherial manipulation."

Wolf sad - "I must question - do the gods themselves exist? What if there is no such thing as a god? They're all just stories about primals summoned by desperate believers. Is it all a lie? What am I fighting for?"

Rau worried - "Wolf, you're fighting as you always have... for the people. The idea of the gods brings comfort to many, including myself, but that is not why you fight."

Wolf appologetic - "I'm sorry, Rau. I understand and support your beliefs. It's just something that seems to have invaded my thoughts lately. "

Rau think - "No offense taken, my friend. I'm just not sure any of that really matters. I think the message in the stories is more important than if they really happened or not. The extent of the gods existence doesn't really change how people live their lives. Our day to day cares and concerns. How we earn our wages, care for our young, the freedoms we fight for. If the gods exist - it's clear they don't intervene in the lives of mortals. Else Rhalgr surely would have destroyed the Garleans for us." 

Wolf smiles awkwardly - "Yes but... I'm the Warrior of Light. I seem to be the exception."

Rau embarrassed - "Thall's Balls! I keep forgetting!"

Wolf laughs - "You... Keep forgetting that the Mothercrystal gave me superpowers? But aye, you're right. I haven't really been doing any of this for a deity, no matter how much people seem to think otherwise."

Rau still embarrassed - "I just meant... When we talk like this... it just feels like it did back then and I can't help but picture you that way. The way you were when we were together. Before you were the Warrior of Light." Thought - '...before I ruined everything.'

Wolf smiles sadly. Thought - '...before I ruined everything.' Say - "Oh, I see. Well... I hope that you can see me differently someday."

Rau a bit panicked - "Oh! No, Wolf I meant that in a nice way. I was just being nostalgic. Is an old man not allowed the occasional nostalgia?"

Wolf eyebrow raise - "Nostalgic? And you aren't an old man so stop saying that." Thought - 'Why does he want to reminisce on old times? Maybe he's feeling down about his arm again?'

Rau uncomfortable - "Well I mean... You fight Primals and save nations but - when we're talking like this I just imagine how we were. Young and reckless - without all of these responsibilities. Talking with you makes things feel... lighter." Thought - 'How does he manage to get me talking like this? I sound so foolish.'

Wolf smiles. Thought - 'Sounds like that was it. I'll give him the nostalgia of youth he craves.' Say - "Oh I see. Yes, it was nice to be reckless. Out all night drinking flagon after flagon of ale. Just laughing and enjoying each other's stories?"

Rau beams - "Aye, that was a more simple time." Thought - 'I miss it greatly... and him.'

Wolf grins. Thought - 'Perhaps a bit of teasing will help him feel better.' Says - "Or when we tried that strange new potion our alchemist friend made by accident that had us hearing colors." 

Rau laughs - "Aye, that's a night I'll not soon forget. What I remember about it at least."

Wolf laughing - "And you remember the next morning when we woke up hungover and half naked in the Sagoli. We couldn't remember how we'd gotten there?"

Rau laughing - "Aye, and then realized we'd gotten tattoos." Thought - 'I wonder if he kept his as well?'

Wolf smug. Thought - 'And now to make him blush.' Say - "I certainly remember the night we had far too much ale and snuck into the Coliseum. "

Rau surprised, blushing. Thought - 'Not that. Don't think about that.'

Wolf grin - "And next thing we know we're running from some Brass Blades hollering about 'degenerates sullying the bloodsands'. It's a good thing they didn't catch us. Imagine the scandal - the Bull of Ala Mhigo himself engaged in such debauchery."

Rau's face completely red - "I um .. oh you know - I think I hear Higiri coming to check on me. I'll talk to you later, Pup. I mean Wolf - I mean Wolfram, Eorzea's Champion, the Warrior of Light - Seven hells!" (linkshell clicks)

Rau facepalms, but smiling. Thought 'Gods-dammit, I can't believe he still remembers that!'

Wolfram laughing hysterically. Thought - 'and just like that - the cosmic forces manipulating my every action seem much less important.'

Catch up on my WoLComics (Chronological List)

[mysterytickingnoise]

Someday

Pairing: Merlin x Reader

Genre: Bittersweet Angst

Word Count: 2,058

Summary: After getting caught and accused of doing witchcraft, and failing to prove your innocence to Uther, you have to take desperate measures to flea the kingdom. Unfortunately your escape plan works a little too well, and without your knowledge the people close to you end up mourning you.

Request from @joyismycenter : "If you’re asking, I’d love some bbc Merlin x reader where he though the reader was dead but she/they turn out not to be. Love me that happy angst"

Authors Note: Thank you so much for sending in the first request for this blog! Fair warning I'm doing all my writing on my phone at the moment and I couldn't really get the ending to flow how I wanted it to so it's not perfect, but I really hope everyone likes it!

[Image Description: A gif of Merlin (from the BBC Show Merlin played by Colin Morgan) looking over his shoulder. End description]

It was such a silly mistake.

You trusted someone too soon, tried to help them.

Next thing you knew you were being accused of witchcraft. It was true but considering your accuser had no real evidence you thought perhaps you could argue your way out of it. You called them crazy, demanded proof, spouted off any alternative explanation for what had happened to no avail. Uther didn't give a damn about proof, the moment the word magic was held against you it was up to you to prove you hadn't used it.

Even if you hadn't, how do you prove a thing like that?

Pleading your case was useless, and the one person who could help you had left with Arthur and the knights before any of this had begun. Even if they somehow showed up before the execution, you wouldn't want Merlin's help.

He couldn't be caught helping you, not with his destiny. You weren't worth the risk, though he certainly would've argued otherwise if he'd had the chance.

No, you only had one choice left in your small cell. You would have to find an opportunity to use something that you saved for a situation such as this. When an old friend came to visit, to say goodbye, that was your opportunity.

You asked them to come back with the blue vial tucked in the back of your armoire. "It's a poison," You had told them. "I don't want to give Uther the satisfaction."

Tearfully, they obliged. In the middle of the night you chugged it down, and not one hour later your 'body' was wrapped in a sheet and wheeled out of the dungeons 'To be buried in the morning.' But the enchantment on the potion wore off before then, and you woke up alone and free.

You crept out of Camelot at the break of dawn with nothing but the clothes on your back, making it to the treeline before your will broke down and you turned back to look at the old castle peeking out over the tall walls.

Your home was behind those walls, your friends lived there, and the man you had surely fallen for. Tears stung your eyes as you thought about him, the fact you never got to say goodbye, how long it would be until you would see him again.

You could risk waiting for him to return, but if someone outside of Arthur's party were to catch you...you would be forced to do something you'd regret. You'd have to cross the line of no return and goodbye at that point would surely be permanent.

'Someday,' You thought, 'Until then, he'll understand, he might even come find me.'

Little did you know the guard who discovered the empty cloth had no intention of telling the king that the body of a prisoner had gone missing on his watch. No, he had a family to tend to, he wasn't losing his position because of some witch. It didn't even cross his mind that you might not be dead.

There was an empty grave in the pauper's field the next morning, and any questions on your whereabouts were contained in the mind of one underpaid guardsman for two years.

Meanwhile, Merlin had been devastated when he heard the news, even confused. Gaius told him the whole story, what he knew of it anyway, but he could never wrap his mind around it. It didn't make sense. He had spoken to you only a few days before, you smiled and hugged him and told him to come home safe. And just like that you were gone? The irrational fear of someone you tried to help, and the blind tyranny of Uther, that's all it took and now nobody would ever see that smile again. No, it didn't make any sense at all.

He eventually did what he had to do, put on a brave face and got back to work. And yes, a while after that night things got somewhat close to normal again. But there were always moments where he'd think to himself that he'd have to tell you about his day or a joke he heard, and then he'd remember. In other moments, he'd see Uther laughing at dinner or be forced to hear one of his speeches and his jaw would clench just a little tighter than it had before. And when he found himself awake in the middle of the night, when the world was dead silent and the only light in his room came from the moon, it was because he had found himself caught up in the memories you had together.

You had those nights too.

You had been dead on your feet by the time you stumbled into the small, reclusive village you'd learn to call your home. You'd been told that nobody really ever passed through on purpose, and they liked it that way. You told them that you could use a life like that, and then asked if they had need a physician. They did.

Sure, a reclusive person probably would've loved the little life you built for yourself. You had a small but cozy spot to live on the edge of the village, not long after you showed up you began to tend to minor wounds and ailments, making a few friends along the way. Occasionally two farmers would ride into the city to barter off crops for supplies and other things, eventually they began to bring you back a book or a small trinket each time to thank you for your work. It was nice.

But still loneliness tugged at your heart, more than you imagined it would when you took that last look at your home. On the most random days, doing the most random things, you'd find yourself thinking about everyone again and crying for up to an hour before you could pull yourself together again. Those moments became more rare over time, but they never hurt any less. You were never quite back to normal.

Finally, you were wrapping a farmers broken finger, speaking about the state of the kingdom and how you were surprised Uther had felt the need to improve anything it all, when you heard the news.

"Oh, no. The king died months ago, Arthur's in charge now."

You knew you must've gone pale, as the next thing the man said to you was a question of your health. You were quick to respond with a growing smile, "Why didn't you say something earlier?"

He shrugged at you, "I'm not all that concerned with politics. These men, they're all the same to us out here, you know?"

But you knew the difference.

Your life depended on it.

You finished his treatment and sent him away without much else to say on the matter. You had to pack, after all. Later on that day you pleaded with a neighbor to let you borrow her horse, and your friends gathered around as they overheard you say you needed to go to the capitol. You honestly felt a bit bad leaving in such a rush, but after you relayed a safe version of your story, why you came here and why you had to leave, they all seemed to understand.

With many promises from you that they could send for you if they ever needed to, and many words of encouragement from them, you took off. Even when you stopped in the night to allow the horse some rest, you never got any yourself, too excited and nervous and overwhelmed all at once. You spent hours contemplating what to say to everyone, but nothing seemed right.

Another days journey, and you were home.

The response you got to your return wasn't what you expected. Your first stop was to check on the friend who got the potion to you in the first place, and strangely they let out a short shriek before slamming the door in your face. You knocked again, speaking through the door. "It's me...I'm back?"

"Go away!"

You furrowed your brow at them, hurt and confused. But ultimately you walked away, thinking a reaction like that might be deserved considering what you must've put them through that night. As you continued down the street there were a few people who recognized you and proceeded to clear out of your way with gasps and whispers, pulling along anyone they were walking with.

Last time you were here you had been accused of witchcraft, and two decades of fear don't just disappear with a new king, so you simply accepted that as the reasoning and started to make your way up through the lower towns.

On the other end of the city, Merlin had just reached the end of an extremely long day. It had dragged on so long that it felt as though the walk from the armoury to his room took another hour. He didn't even bother to get something to eat, he just wanted to sleep. So naturally when he had just layed down in bed when someone decided to knock on the front door, he didn't know any better than to be annoyed.

At first he thought Gaius would take care of it, then he remembered that he wasn't home.

Maybe they'll just go away.

Whoever it was knocked again and he pulled the pillow over his head.

Please go away.

The front door creaked open and he heard a familiar voice call out. "Hello...Gaius? Merlin?"

He sat up, a heavy feeling settling into his gut as he realized where he had heard that voice before.

But...it couldn't be. Could it?

He shook his head, leaving his bedroom to shoo out the person who couldn't have been you.

But there you were, flipping through an old book that had been sitting on the table since the day before. When you noticed he was standing there you looked up with a sad smile, saying the only thing that you could think of; "Hi..."

"Hi?"

"I uh- I know it's been a long time," You started, crossing your arms over your chest in an awkward stance. "I wish I didn't have to leave like I did but..."

"Leave??" He repeated what you said once more. Finally you registered how strangely he was looking at you, not angry or upset but bewildered, and maybe even scared. What he said next confused you even more. "How are you alive?"

"I thought you might've had more faith in me than that." You joked, but he wasn't amused. "Am I missing something?"

He was hesitant to approach you, unsure of how he was supposed to say it but he tried. "They told me you were gone, that you'd poisoned yourself. I mean...Gaius saw you."

"It was meant to look like that, but it was a trick." You said. "I left when I awoke, they didn't tell people I escaped?"

He shook his head no, tears starting to stream down his face. "...I can't believe this."

As the reality of the situation hit you, you couldn't help but cry as well. All you were guilty about, what you thought you put your loved ones through, it had actually been so much worse. "I am so sorry, if I had any idea I would've- well I don't know what I would've done. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I'm just, I'm so happy that you're here, and you're okay." Striding over with a grin, he pulled you into his arms. "I've missed you."

"And I, you. More than I could ever put into words." With a laugh you continued. "Things got so boring without you."

"I'm sure they did, you won't believe some of things I have to tell you."

And that was all it took, you both sat down at a table as you filled each other in on everything that had happened in the last two years. It took hours, there were multiple times you had to stop and collect yourselves as certain stories had you laughing until your stomachs ached. Gaius came home and after another tearful welcome back he made you all something to eat and had plenty of his own twists on things that had happened.

As if no time had passed at all, the world felt normal again. You were back where you belonged.

You were home.

[hacked-by-jake]

New Life

Summary: Finally you will move to Duskwood and start a new life. A moving with the help of the chaotic Duskwood Squad and a shamed hacker with the wrong moving box, can it be more beautiful?

Pairing: Group & Fem!MC x Jake

Words: 4,4 k

A/n: Welcome to this OneShot. After a long time something of my own. I dreamed about it and so the idea came. So I hope you’ll like it and have fun. Excuse the mistakes etc etc etc.

Take care and stay healthy! Much love.❤️

4 a.m.

"Shit" you hiss annoyed and look at the stain of coffee on the floor, which was sweped in your haste over the edge of the cup, "My poor coffee".

Because of sorrow you forgot again why you even walked to the door.

You want to make your way to get a cloth when it rings again, "Oh right" you shake your head over your forgetfulness. It’s just too early for you.

Quickly you open the door to your apartment and look in two radiant faces belonging to Dan and Richy, your heroes of the day.

"Good morning" both say at the same time and you would just like to crawl back into bed.

"Good morning guys, come in. Careful not to step on the coffee, he did not deserve it"

Hectically you put your cup next to the door on the small dresser to go to the kitchen and get something to wipe away.

"Why are you in such a hurry?" Dan asks you as you come back with quick steps.

"You look tired, haven’t you slept?" Richy asks, grinning, you shake your head.

"Only about half an hour and that was an accident. I didn’t want to sleep," you explain.

"Why?" Richy looks around the almost empty apartment. All that’s left are only the biggest furniture you’ll be taking with you and a lot of moving boxes.

"I had to pack so much stuff and besides I was really excited. Do any of you want coffee? I made more, and I left two more cups outside." You’re offering.

The eyes of both men grow big,"I certainly don’t say no to coffee," Richy jokes and follows you into the kitchen.

"Just take what you need. I still have to pack the rest of my clothes and the stuff from the bathroom" You already ran off only to then make a 180 degree turn, "My cup" you mumble and grab it.

"MC, let’s take it easy, we have all the time in the world," Dan rebukes you and you sighing.

"I’m sorry, I’m probably more excited than I thought," you apologize and drop into the chair at your kitchen table.

"This is normal. You don’t move to a completely strange and creepy city every day," Richy throws in and immediately gets a nasty look from Dan.

"Are you serious?" he asks, "You’re not making it better!"

Richy looks embarrassed in your a little desperate face, "But for that, this will be the coolest time of your life!" he tries to save the situation, "Hey, think about it, the Duskwood Squad is finally completely united in a few hours!"

The prospect of the time you are about to be with your friends, and that always without having to go home, also makes you smile like the two men

"But it’s about time, Shorty, we miss you at our place.

A visit every few months is simply not enough, or just for one night over the weekend. You should have seen the girls the last days, there was no rest"

Dan finds just the right words to calm you down. You’ve waited so long to move to Duskwood, and now it’s finally time. A new phase in your life with a group of good friends that you met during a worst-case similar situation.

Since then, there hasn’t been a day when you haven’t written or spoken on the phone. You’ve played so much Doodle Splash to pass the time for your next visit that you feel like you’ve painted more than Picasso ever did

"You are right! " you agree resolutely, "time for the best time of my life! "

-------------------------------------

"I actually thought you had a few less things," Richy stands breathless in your apartment door. Of course, the big things, like your couch, your bed and your desk, were brought into the truck first which Richy borrowed from a friend company for removals.

And now for about 20 minutes you’ve been carrying one box after the other downwards to store it. In between, even one of your neighbors came to help, who actually wanted to go to work but still had a few minutes.

"That’s because the boxes are too small," you joke, and Richy looks at you with a look that clearly says 'You don’t believe that yourself'.

Defending you raise your hands and push with your foot another box over to him, which he can bring down.

About 10 minutes later, in which you had to take out all the boxes again, and put them back in, you put down the last box in your hallway. Behind you, Dan and Richy come up the stairs as you pull the little key to your former apartment out of your pocket and sigh.

"Finish!" Richy cheers and puts an arm around your shoulders, "Are you ready?" Dan asks you and you nod. A little sad, you put the key in the keyhole one last time and lock up.

Dan takes the last box from you and you go down the stairs together. You throw the key into the mailbox as agreed with your landlord and turn around one last time.

Determined not to be sad or rather melancholic, you climb forward into the truck behind Richy while Dan closes the big cargo hatch.

He himself gets into the driver’s seat.

"Let’s go into your new life" he announces solemnly as he starts the engine.

"Into a new life"

-----------------------------------------

"I wanna be the very best!

Like no one ever was!

To catch them is my real test

To train them is my cause" you all shout the theme music of Pokémon.

Richy has turned on his playlist where all the songs you can only imagine are. You’ve been driving for about an hour and a half.

"POKÉMON!" Richy screams and throws his hand into the air.

"Don’t shout!" Dan grumbles and gives him a annoyed look, "You just screamed too!" the mechanic defends himself and twists his eyes. "I need another coffee, I’m driving to the next rest stop, otherwise I won’t make it for the next two hours," says Dan and you agree.

At the gas station you get yourself a new coffee and a snack. Actually 3 hours are not so much driving, but with the grumpy Dan and the lively Richy, who are two clowns at the same time, it can be exhausting.

After you get back to the truck, and this time Richy drives on, you actually managed to fall asleep after half an hour.

-----------------------------------------

"Wake up, Shorty" you hear the voice of the bearded man far away, "We are almost there," he explains and you open your eyes. You need a short moment to realize where you are and what’s going on, but then you straighten up. Your head was lying on Dan’s shoulder.

"Sorry" you mumble and stretch as much as possible with so little space." It’s fine. I almost slept myself" he waves off and you just nod. No wonder, the two boys also left at 1 a.m., to be with you in time.

In fact, you can already see that you will reach the entrance of Duskwood in about 5 minutes. You’ve been driving this way so many times, you know the way around, like in your own hometown.

"I’m so glad I don’t have to drive any further," Richy whines and drums with his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the song that sounds quietly from the radio.

"When the truck is empty, you have to bring it back" Dan reminds him. Without going into the mocking comment, the mechanic turns the radio a little louder.

When the sign 'Welcome to Duskwood' appears in your sight, you start to grin broadly. Nervously you slide back and forth on the seat and bite your lower lip.

Richy crosses the border into the small town with secrets you still have learned to love.

"Welcome to Duskwood" Richy congratulates you and you happily clap your hands.

Welcome new life.

-------------------------------------

When you turn into the street where your apartment is, very close to Jessy’s, you almost jump up from your seat. Just the seatbelt holds you back when you see the rest of the group standing outside the door: Jessy, Cleo, Thomas, Lilly and Hannah.

All 5 wave wildly and Richy pushes twice on the horn to greet. As far as the side of the road goes, Richy stops the truck and you quickly unbuckle yourself. You rip the door, and without using the stairs, you jump out of the car, "Leave the door where it belongs!" you hear Richy shout, but you’ve been on your way down for a long time.

"Hello" calls all of you in a choir as a tight and not quite gentle hug with the 4 girls takes place. All at the same time you fall into each other’s arms. Compliments are exchanged and joy about the move announced.

"You pretend you haven’t seen each other for four years!" you hear Richy laugh and roll his eyes. "That’s how it feels," Hannah chuckles next to you.

"Hello MC" Thomas shouts amused and you stretch an arm in the air and waves in an indefinite direction, "Hello Thomas, I don’t know where you stand but HI!"

After you finally broke up from each other, Hannah holds out your new front door key that she kept for you. She was the one who looked for apartments for you on the spot when you couldn’t be here. She took over the visits and took pictures. If it was possible, she took you with her through a video call.

"Congratulations MC, welcome to the family" she smiles.

"Thank you folks, it’s so nice to finally be here!"

-------------------------------------

After you have arrived correctly and you have looked at your apartment once again in empty state, you have started to bring everything into the apartment. Now, of course, things are moving much faster with more people.

You’ve built up in the stairwell to the second floor: Dan, Richy, Thomas, Cleo, Lilly, Jessy, Hannah and you.

In a row your carton reaches from person to person and quickly most of it is done. From your apartment comes music that you run via a Bluetooth speaker. Fortunately, you have labeled everything so that after all the boxes are in your apartment, you only have to push them into the right rooms. And then the big things come.

The three of them, Thomas Richy and Dan carry the sofa upstairs.

You just stand by with a slightly nervous face and hope no one gets hurt.

"You have to be careful! The sofa is tipping!" Dan shouts loudly as Richy tries another handle.

"I know! But I don’t want this thing to fall on my foot," Richy hisses. Thomas, who supports the side, only twists his eyes.

-------------------------------------

All the important parts are now in your apartment. Now, the truck is empty and ready to be brought back.

"Okay, I’ll bring the truck away, and you start here. I’ll come back when you’re done and I can get the beer I earned," Richy jokes as he takes the key off the kitchen table.

"You get nothing" you call laughing after him, "Oh wait until the man Without Face learns of your sin. To deny a working man his beer is bad!"

Laughing, you shake your head, "I’m waiting for the next new moon."

"How can you always joke about it?" Jessy asks without understanding.

"Well, that’s just relief," you explain and smile at her calmly.

-------------------------------------

4 hours, a lot of laughter, bad jokes, quarrels and almost broken furniture later, the most important is on the right place. The bed is built up and ready for the first night in the new apartment, in your new life.

"How’s your thumb, Richy?" Ask the sulking mechanic carefully.

"All right, I can take a lot, I’ll survive," he calms you down and presses the cooling pad more firmly on his finger.

A lot went wrong trying to build your wardrobe. Someone had forgotten a screw when the ceiling was mounted.

The moment Richy tried to hit a nail with a hammer in the lower area, the ceiling came loose and fell down.

Both side walls of the cabinet fell into each other, and Richy accidentally punched hit his thumb. For a few seconds you were all just staring at each other and then laughing. Fortunately, Richy’s injury wasn’t that bad, but you gave him something to cool down with.

And now almost everything is ready. There are only a few boxes missing, but you will take over yourself." Thanks for your great help, guys! Many thanks to Richy and Dan who picked me up and drove so long. And of course, thank you all so much for helping me here!"

You’re all sitting around the table in your living room. You’re sitting next to Jessy on the floor while everyone else is comfortable on the sofa and armchair.

"And again, for the thousandth time today; Welcome to Duskwood MC" Hannah cheers and keeps her beer up. All together you toast.

"I’m so tired," Dan mutters, sipping his drink." Oh yes, so am I," joins Richy and you nod.

"But it was worth it" Lilly smiles and looks around, "And as soon as it’s done, it can only be great!"

"Perfect!" Hannah improves her sister.

"Indescribable" agrees Jessy.

-------------------------------------

"See you guys tomorrow!" you call after the group and close the door.

Just a short and quiet moment you close your eyes exhausted. Preferably you just want to go to bed, but first you still want to unpack a little more.

The sound that tells you that you have received a message pulls you out of your mind.

You pull out your phone and smile when you see that it is Jake who wrote to you.

Jake: Hello, MC.

Jake: How did the move go?

MC: Hi, Jake. Pretty good, I’d say, exhausting and stressful, but good.

Jake: Have you finished?

MC: No, not quite, I do the rest myself, the others have done enough.

Jake: Do you like the apartment?

You grin, he has improved his skills for small talk since you met and Hannah return.

MC: Yes, it’s really nice, do you want to come? You can look around.

Hopeful you stare at the screen. It would be really nice to see Jake today.

What this is between you, you don’t know for sure, sometimes it goes ahead and sometimes back. You’ve seen each other a few times since Hannah was rescued. Mostly here in Duskwood.

After a difficult time between the three siblings and still the problem with Jake’s pursuers, everything has improved.

However he did it, he managed to turn all the tracks that linked him to the suspicion so that they no longer point to him. He is still very careful and occasionally travels from town to town for a few weeks but most of the time he is in Duskwood. This is where you first met.

After the first conversation between Hannah, Lilly and Jake and a lot of explanations, the hacker decided to take an apartment here to catch up the time with his sisters. Since then, he has also become a little more open and better in interpersonal relationships.

At some point he was in the vicinity of your old place of residence and then it happened that you have a day to drink coffee. And the next day in your apartment. The beginnings were sometimes a little difficult because of him because he really didn’t talk much, but after some time it became really nice. There was even a kiss. Your first kiss together.

It was on your balcony and it was at night, under the stars. But since then, not much exciting has happened, unfortunately.

Jake: I think I’d just bother you unpacking.

MC: Bullshit, of course not, I could use a little quieter company after the whole group was there :)

Jake: Don’t you want to go to sleep soon? You must be tired.

MC: Jake, don’t make excuses, if you don’t want to, you can just say no, that’s not bad for me. But I promise I’d be happy if you were here.

You watch him start writing and then delete the message.

Jake: I’m on my way :)

Without answering his message, you close your phone and stare at the bare wall facing you for seconds.

Then you can’t stop yourself from doing a little joy dance, "Yess!" you hisses and grins all over your face.

Jake won’t be long before he gets here, so you decide to clean up the empty bottles and candy that are still on the table.

Although it’s only about 10 minutes to wait, it feels like a half an eternity until it finally rings.

Before you open the door, shake all your limbs to loosen up and clear your throat.

Then you open the door.

The hacker, dressed in black as always, stands with a slight smile in your hallway, "Hello MC" he greets you with his melodic voice.

Immediately you get very warm and you try to keep your own smile small, "Hi Jake. Come in" you walk to the side to let him in.

-

Jake actually knows your apartment already.

Officially, you don’t know anything about this. But off the record, Hannah told you.

You couldn’t handle the handover of the apartment yourself, so Hannah did it for you, and Jake was with her. He had only told her that he was bored and wanted to come along, but when he looked around and said some things like, "MC has enough space here" and "This will be a good place for her" she realized that he just came to make sure the place was nice enough for you.

Nevertheless, he now curiously lets his gaze wander through the now filled apartment.

"When it is done, it will look really nice" he confirms after you have shown him everything, as well as explained the room layout.

"Yes, I think so," you agree and smile.

"What are you going to do next?" he asks, pointing to the boxes in which your clothes are still to be cleared into the closet.

"That’s exactly what" you answer and kick one of the boxes, "You can sit on the bed if you want, while I unpack," you are proposing and tear the tape off the cardboard.

"I can help you if you don’t mind," he offers and you nod, "Sure, if you want"

-

Cleaning up with the group was really fun, but now with Jake, it’s beautiful. The atmosphere is calm, not stressful or a mess. You talk about everything that comes to mind while Jake keeps holding clothes in front of your face so you can tell him where it belongs.

Two boxes are already empty. In your second one there is still a little bit inside and Jake is also on his way to get a new one. You watch him as he opens the box, only to close it again immediately afterwards. His cheeks turn pure red and his eyes squint nervously at you, "Uhm, I think I’ll take the box first" he mumbles and you can hear the trembling in his voice only too well.

"Why? What’s going on?" you wonder about his reaction.

"Nothing at all, everything okay, here’s another one" he scratches nervously in the neck and does not look at you when talking.

Skeptically you walk over to the box to take a look inside. When you open it, you quickly realize the reason for his shamed behavior.

Your underwear. You decide not to say anything to make it even more unpleasant for him, but you cannot hide the smile on your lips.

For the next few minutes, it’s quiet until it rings at your door. You look at your watch in wonder. It’s just before 9, and you’re not expecting anyone today.

"Be right back," you inform Jake, "And keep your hands off my underwear," as you disappear out the door, you can see him raising his head in a flash, staring at you with big eyes. Laughing you open the door, "Phil?" you ask surprised when you see Jessy’s brother standing there. Phil has also become a good friend of yours, you visited Aurora as a group several times when you were here.

"Hi MC" he greets you, "I hope I’m not interrupting? I actually have to leave right away again, the Aurora is crowded today.I just wanted to stop by and greet you in Duskwood and congratulate you on your move" he smiles his typical charming smile as you hug briefly, "Thanks Phil" you nod grateful. He separates from you and then does not joyfully pull up an eyebrow, he looks behind you and you turn around as well. Jake is standing in the living room and has the same annoyed look as Phil on his face.

"Have fun, you two," Phil grins a little cocky and puts his arms around you again, just quick.

As he disappears down the stairs, he still calls, "We have to do something together in the next few days."

You slowly close the door and turn around with a wide grin to Jake, who still looks dark at the door. Yeah, that Phil and Jake don’t like each other hasn’t changed. On the contrary.

Jake finds Phil is the most unsympathetic person in the world, and Phil thinks he’s better for you than Jake is.

When Jake frees himself from his rigidity, his attention falls on you. You bite your lower lips and put a hand in front your mouth to stop your next words. Even the hacker seems to know what is going on and looks warn, "Don’t say it"

Innocently you raise your eyebrows, "What? I don’t know what you mean, do you mean? -"

"Stop" Jake stops you and heads back to the bedroom.

"What? Shouldn’t I say that you-"

"MC" he threatens.

"Are you jealous?" it bursts out of you and groaning Jake drops his head in the neck, "You really need to say this, don’t you?"

-------------------------------------

After you keep teasing Jake with it, you decided to stop for today. You two ordered a pizza and a drink, because you don’t have much here, except for the beer Hannah bought.

You had the TV running quietly but didn’t pay attention to it. Jake asked you what your wishes and hopes are in for your new life, and you talked about the time with the Man Without a Face. Until now, you’ve only talked to him about it. Just a little bit with Hannah but somehow you’re still not ready to deal with all this. The occasional jokes about it will help you soothe your thoughts a little.

During your conversation, you accidentally fell asleep. The hacker didn’t know what to do, he doesn’t want to wake you, but he also doesn’t want to leave without saying anything. After watching you for 20 minutes and thinking about your relationship, he felt weird just looking at you while you're sleeping. So he decided to leave.

However, you seem to have noticed this immediately because the moment he opens the door, your eyes open.

"Wait" you stop him and he looks at you frightened, "If you leave now while I sleep, then I feel like I was a one night stand," you joke and and he grins.

"You’re much more than that," he replies quietly. You raising your upper body, and a little shy, stroking the fluffy pillow on your couch.

"Can you.. can you stay, Jake?" Your voice is quiet, tired and a little nervous, "I feel uncomfortable being here alone the first night," you admit. You had this feeling the first time while you built up the bed. Even though the Man without a face is in prison and you’re safe, you still have this unpleasant ulterior motive.

He seems to think about, but without you telling him, he understands what you’re worried about.

"All right" he sighs and closes the door again.

"You can sleep in the bed, I’ll take the couch," you say and get up to get a blanket and a pillow.

"No, the other way around. You should sleep in your bed, your day was exhausting and you need to rest"

Before this discussion can be extended, you decide to make a short process, "Okay, you have two options now. Either you sleep with me in bed, or we both sleep on the couch. 'Cause I’m not gonna ask you to stay here for me, and then let you sleep there!"

The hacker stops briefly, turns slightly red but then grins, "I don’t have a chance anyway, do I?" he asks.

You shake your head, "Not without a war"

-------------------------------------

Luckily, you are in possession of a much too large sweatpants which fits him only narrowly, but fits.

The room is dark and it is completely quiet in the whole apartment. You try to be inconspicuous, and slide a bit towards him. You know he’s not asleep yet, and when he doesn’t try to stop you, you get a whole lot closer.

You hear Jake lifting the blanket, the invitation to come to him entirely.You don’t take your time but slide so close that you can put your head on his chest and he puts an arm around you. Immediately its beautiful smell envelops you and your pulse accelerates many times. Even his heart you hear racing what makes you smile.

"Do you know how many times I dreamed about it?" he whispers into the darkness and your heart makes a leap, "No, but if it was only half as often as I did, then I can imagine it," you answer and a quiet laugh vibrates in his chest.

"Good night, MC, see you tomorrow"

"Good night, Jake," you whisper, and then you feel his lips flapping softly over your forehead, just a touch, like a breeze. But for you, it means the world.

Welcome new life, you mean well with me.

❤️🎭🌹

Masterlist

[jamilelucato]

About him [Fred Weasley]

Pairing: Fred Weasleyx reader (Slytherin but brief mention)

Summary: [y/n] and Fred have always been friends because of their similarities, but after focusing on their differences they ended up missing each other a lot.

A/N: really slow burn except for the fact that I speed it up lol (gif is very much the ice cream shop scene)

Warnings: brief mention of p*rn but it's just for a joke really; and sadness at the very end, much much sadness

harry potter masterlist!

[y/n] and Fred Weasley were classmates, and, even though they were from different houses (she was a Slytherin, he was a Gryffindor), they generally ended up in the same circles because they had a lot of friends and common and were purebloods.

They had lots of things in common, but they never really thought much of it or talked about it. Their pureblood families were seen with wicked eyes by the others because they were friendly towards muggles and muggles-borns, and curiously [y/n]'s mother worked in the same department as Fred's dad.

Fred silently understood [y/n], and she sympathized with him as well. But that was as far as their friendship went. They joked with each other and worked well together when assigned — except they were never alone or were clingy towards one another.

Therefore, it was no surprise (nor new) that Fred sat next to her, at the almost end of a party at Ravenclaw. Both had a drink in hand and were laughing at their friends' jokes. Suddenly, the big group divided itself into pairs that were talking together, and [y/n] saw herself in a position to make conversation with Fred.

"Where's George?" she politely asked him while sipping her cup.

He looked down at her — even sitting, it was clear he was taller.

"Honestly," his eyes were smiling, "I have no idea."

She half-smiled, half laughed, which was her usual reaction when speaking to Fred. He had a humorous way of expressing himself even when it was not funny.

"Aren't you worried?"

"With George? No," Fred chocked; with a raised brow. "He'll manage. Wherever he is."

"Probably with a girl," [y/n] said with a calm tone that surprised Fred.

He knew he and his twin had a reputation (perhaps even Dumbledore did), but he didn't expect little miss [y/n] to mention that with such naturality. He didn't know why it bothered him; was it because he hoped to preserve his image of a good boy or because it was her?

"Wait, what about you?" she asked, realizing he didn't say anything about George. "Where's your girlfriend?"

"Ex-girlfriend," corrected Fred in a huff. "We broke up last week."

[y/n] took a long while to stare at him, analyzing his features — the more she looked, the more concerned Fred got.

She didn't know about the news regarding Fred and Angelina, but she was nowhere near worried.

"Well, by the end of next week, you two will be together again," she shrugged, looking back at her drink.

"Not at all," Fred denied, moving his face.

"Come on, Fred," [y/n] lowered her hands, "you guys never last too much apart; at this point, it's almost annoying."

He stared at her, more shocked than before.

"You guys are always breaking up," she pointed out, this time with a sweeter tone, scared she was offending him.

"True," granted Fred, "but this time is for real."

"You said that last time," remembered [y/n], unable to hold her smile at the end of her sentence and making Fred smile too.

There was a pause before Fred decided to defend his point.

"I don't..." he swallowed. "Angie and I... we both know the relationship isn't going anywhere."

"Wow," [y/n] was surprised. They always talked about Fred's break-ups but never before had he said something like that. "You're serious."

Fred ignored her comment.

"George and I want to do something big, you know? And I need to be real about it, so might as well be serious about everything else."

[y/n] considered his comment. She knew it was his dream to open the joke shop. She also knew his parents were not very okay with that.

Another thing they had in common, she supposed. Her parents didn't support her dream of being an actress either. They were okay with her pursuing a career in the muggle world, but they did not want it to be acting.

"It's a good plan, you know, " she said, finally. "Just... don't lose your charm."

"Don't lose my charm, you say?" Fred smirked, getting closer to her, their legs touching each other in the small blue sofa of Ravenclaw.

"Not that charm," she said through her teeth, shoving him with her shoulder. But even when she hated him using his smirk with her, she ended up smiling. "I meant your drollery."

"Oh," he leaned back, the smirk fading. "I suppose that if Snape wasn't able to erase my joy, nothing can."

He was right, of course.

"And you, huh?" Fred asked, noticing that if he remained in silence, the conversation would die. "How's the porn acting career going?"

She pushed him again with her free hand this time, and he laughed it off. She was sure it hurt, though, because he remained to brush up and down his arm.

"I don't want to be a porn star, you creep," [y/n] hissed, but she wasn't that angry with his comment as she was leading him into thinking. "And I suppose it's going as slow as it can go when you are only sixteen and lives in your school."

"And have unsupporting parents," added Fred, tilting his head, feeling very clever with his suggestion. Until he looked at her and saw she was frozen. "Sorry, I didn't m...."

"You're right," she sighed, gulping her drink until she drank it all. Then, startling Fred, she started laughing, but it was nowhere near a desperate laugh as he expected. "Gosh, I just want to be over with school."

"Shocking enough, me too," agreed Fred, entering her cheerful mood with a smile of himself.

Two Years Later...

She avoided going to the Diagon Alley for various reasons, but the most important was to dodge encountering old classmates. But the Wizarding World was at the brink of war, and [y/n]'s mom insisted that her daughter should go out and buy everything they could need in case they had to go into hiding.

After hours of shopping, she left her parents at one of the stores and walked all by herself to the ice cream place, where she hoped to have a minute to sit down and breathe.

She was contemplating the busy streets, filled with workers and other wizards, all with the same desperate look her mom had on her face. She had noticed when Fred and George walked in the shop, but she hoped her well-placed table would be enough to hide her.

It wasn't.

"Oh, [y/n]!" shouted Fred, after taking the ice cream he chose with the attendant. He stepped in her direction, the expression in his face pure joy.

They had bumped into each other after school, but they always had other places to go and be, which left them with a chance only to say hi. But, seeing her, calmly, sitting with her ice cream, Fred thought it was the perfect chance to catch up with his long time friend.

"How are you?" he asked, smiling.

Noticing she had no escape, she pointed to the remaining empty chair at her table for him to sit and finally answered.

"Oh, you know," she shrugged. "Every day's crazier than the one before, and we never know how tomorrow is gonna be, so..." she dredged. "But I heard your shop is outstanding itself — congrats, Fred."

Fred only blushed because he didn't have time to comment on her praise since George appeared next to them, with his ice cream in his hands.

"Hi, [y/n]," he smiled, but his expression and tone were nowhere near the joy in Fred's.

"How are you, George?" she asked politely, noticing that she was braver to do small talk with George than Fred.

"Fine as one can be knowing Voldy's out there," answered the twin, his voice tone so standardized, it showed how many times had he answered that. "You do believe in his return, right?" he asked; suddenly, he remembered she used to be a Slytherin.

[y/n] pretended not to care when George suggested so easily otherwise, even though Fred, in front of her, seemed close to slapping his twin. She was used to other people's prejudice.

"Oh, I do," she said. "I'm with parents buying supplies, really but, right now, I just ran away from them."

"They're getting on your nerves?" asked Fred, quickly remembering their time in school when [y/n]'s mom used to send her letters almost every day.

[y/n] took in Fred's friendly and joking smile. She didn't realize she missed the twins. Missed Fred.

"My mom knows how to stress someone," [y/n] let out.

"Probably learned with ours," commented George, sighing playfully. Then he turned to his twin, "Fred, we gotta go; we can't leave Verity alone for too long."

Fred pressed his eyes shut with enormous force — he knew his twin was correct, but he didn't want to leave.

"Go ahead, George, I'll catch up," Fred said finally, avoiding [y/n]'s eyes, scared it would reveal that she did not want him there.

They were friends or at least used to be, and after school, they just lost touch. [y/n] pushed herself away from all her friends on purpose, and Fred didn't think he could be an exception. Besides, she spent most of her time in the muggle world, pursuing her career — which was no secret to the gossip of wizardly London that she was failing. She had yet to get any parts in any movies or plays, and the most prestigious families were saying all horrible things about her.

His own mother was one of the gossipers spreading rumours, but every time she said anything near Fred, he would jump at her, shutting her up.

"So..." she started saying and scratched her throat. "How's your family?" she asked finally. "I bet your mom doesn't complain about the joke shop anymore."

He smiled. It could be awkward between them sometimes, but it was pretty easy to fall into a comfortable flow.

"She doesn't, you're right," he laughed with his nose, pausing to take his ice cream. "And Ron is always asking us for money now."

"As he would," [y/n] smiled, remembering tenderly of the lovely Weasley family.

"And you? How's the career going?" he almost joked as he used to do, mentioning she was a porn star, but now that the rumours said she basically had no career, he was scared she had run to that option as her last resort. And who was he to judge?

"You mean acting?" she asked and puffed, playing with her ice cream. "I've given up on it not so long after I left Hogwarts."

"You're kidding."

"Nope," she sighed. "I tried, sure, 'cause I'm not that coward, but.. it was clear it wouldn't turn out to be anything. I'm always the weirdo at auditions, always saying something wrong... I thought watching tons of muggle movies would leave me as a great performer of the muggles' grimaces, but it sure didn't. Or simply just wasn't enough."

"I can't believe you quit," he said. "You craved it so much back at school."

"That's cause I didn't know what it really was like back at school," she sighed again. "They don't want me not even backstage."

"That can't be true!" Fred looked — and it probably was the first time [y/n] had seen him like that — a mix of angry and exasperation.

"Don't let it get over your head, Fred," she avoided his eyes. "I don't."

He stared at her, for a moment just the two of them and the silence.

"Besides, I'm working with my dad at his muggle bookshop," she shrugged. "You should stop by anytime. if there's someone that can make you read a book, and like it, it's my dad."

Fred still wanted to talk about [y/n]'s acting career but he understood the subject could still be sensitive to her.

"I doubt that," Fred let himself smile again.

They spent more minutes talking, picking up in all the subjects they could and then reliving old memories until Fred remembered he had to go back to work.

He got up, saying his goodbyes, while [y/n] stood there, her ice cream already eaten.

"See you, Fred," she said, her tone clear of her sadness.

Fred only took two steps before turning back at her. He pressed his hands in his pants pockets — a million feelings going to his head, most of them telling him to give up.

But he remembered how much he wanted to do that since Hogwarts, and with her, and only with her, he simply never gathered enough courage.

And that wasn't fair.

[y/n] deserved a chance with him as much as any girl. He deserved a chance with her as much as any guy.

"[y/n]," he swallowed, nervous as her eyes met his, "would you by any chance like to go out with me?"

"I'd love to!" she said, not even remembering she ever wanted to go out with him, but now feeling like that was all she ever craved.

Two Days Later...

The night had been exciting. Spending hours before a mirror, hoping for the best look had paid off, [y/n] noticed because Fred Weasley couldn't stop staring at her with big eyes.

They managed to talk a bit about everything, always having something new to add to their conversation. Even when they remained in silence, it wasn't bad. It was anxious but great.

And then he insisted on dropping her off, which only made her more nervous. She wanted to kiss him and she hoped so badly he enjoyed his night as much as she had so he would want to kiss her too.

At Hogwarts, she could not deny it, it had occurred to her kissing Fred. However, it was always when she was too drunk to manage a congruent thought or when her friends asked who of their friends she could kiss. But the fact is: they never did.

A corner of her mind wondered if she ever really did have a window with him back then, but school memories were all a blur in her mind. It seemed obvious now that she and Fred could match, but back then, not so much.

Fred was thinking the same. He liked her. He always did.

They knew each other before Hogwarts, and even if at first (she being a Slytherin and all) they were apart, their friendship rose so easily on their second year and managed to stay firm until the very end.

He remembered wanting to kiss her but it was never as bad as he wanted now, when he had her hand in his, and she was blushing simply because they were standing side to side.

And when he finally did, finally allowed his lips to touch hers — heavens — he could have died right then. It felt right. It felt good.

Fred had kissed many times before, but none felt as close to perfection as this time.

He pulled her in softly by her cheek, letting his lips simply brush against hers and she gasped, opening her mouth, desperate for more.

Then his hands were everywhere, and [y/n] was not reserved herself. She pulled forward, holding grasp of his hair, and it was unclear to determine who would let go first.

Perhaps never let go was a good solution. They both thought so.

One Year Later...

Fred Weasley lied before her, forever moveless.

She could not believe it.

She reached for his cold hands and squeezed, hoping her touch would be enough to reverse what was irreversible.

On both of her sides, there was a Weasley crying, desperate as much as her.

But the only one feeling as hollow as her, the only one that could compete as her sadness was George. No words were able to comfort.

Not right there, not at the burial ceremony, not at her empty apartment above the joke shop.

Everything reminded her of him.

They had been together for only a year, but he was her best friend before that. Somehow, when she played different scenarios in her head, she felt like she could have suffered more if they had stayed just as friends.

It was the latest memories the ones that hurt the most. She knew they were in danger when the war began, but both were not going anywhere, and Fred had hope.

Every night in hiding he would hold her against his bare chest and whisper that they were going to be okay. Sometimes he even joked she would get out of it with a movie deal about the Wizarding War.

[y/n] and George helped each other out of their worst moments, creating a friendship tighter than they had before. But, eventually, she knew that without Fred she did not belong in the joke shop building.

At Fleur's and Bill's wedding, Fred had made her promise she would try the film industry once again.

"You know," he said, whispering in her year while they slow danced, "your dad says you like to write. Perhaps you should write a script."

"Perhaps," she smiled. "But about what should the movie script be?"

"About me, of course," he joked.

How she wished he was there with her.

Walking in to deliver her first script.

About them.

About her.

About him.

[zangyo]

@tenkoseiensei said (inbox):

' do you think i could have talked to him? ' his head rests against his knees, face hidden, words steady but soft-murmured. ' the real --- yan qing. ' he can only laugh, a single quick gust of air typically reserved for his sorrows. ' i keep wondering whether or not he would hate me.' liar, thief, delusion. there were infinite ways to accuse him, and even if at his core he was nothing, no one, what right did that give him to rob from another? selfishly taking in an entire self, and everything attached: talent, relationships, livelihoods. anyone would have been thrown into panic to learn of a doppelganger intruding into occupied spaces, no matter the fact that a monster of mimicry was never reserved an existence of its own. it settles like a stone in his stomach and makes it twist with hurt. to even speak of 'himself' as 'another' tore his heart at the seams too.

' whatever 'i' really look like, i don't know. i don't remember. as 'yan qing,' it's always the same foggy memory of laying in an alleyway and waiting for my lord to come back. i'm so hungry that i'm dizzy, it's cold and all i can do is keep blinking, but even that starts to feel like too much. no, it was too much. ' he succumbs, for however briefly, to his own silence before finally lifting his head. the jade of his eyes glistens with some sort of inexplicable emotion, his lip curled crooked as he looks up at the other. ' was he dying, or was he already dead by the time i found him? i couldn't have known him otherwise, right? couldn't i have helped him? ' there, a subtle terror: was it his nature to devour; to use and harm? ' nanami ... i'm sure even you have secrets, things that you don't tell anyone but still think over. if you were in my circumstances, would you want to meet 'yourself?' even if it meant admitting that you weren't real? '

     YAN QING HAD A TENDENCY to ask questions that took quite a lot of thought, and oftentimes out of nowhere without any prompting. Nanami thought that by now he would have been prepared for it all, and yet, even so, he found himself having to pause. They didn't often talk about the other's past like this -- the feelings that came along with it, nor their 'beginning'. Nanami preferred to let the other speak when they felt like speaking rather than rattling question after question and bringing up discomfort. However, he still hadn't expected any of this. ❝Perhaps,❞ Nanami answered, the newspaper he had been looking over now gently folded and placed to the side. ❝I can't say how he must have felt, or would have felt, seeing you with his form. After all, he can't tell anyone anything anymore...but...I can tell you one thing.❞ He paused for a bit, watching the other's features pensively before he continued on. ❝When a human reaches a point like he did, they just...stop caring. Even he wasn't dying, even if he was still alive, I don't think he was really quite 'alive'. I think...he had left a long time ago.❞

     He believed that Yan Qing, the real one, had just...faded. What was left, for all intent and purposes, was a husk. At least, this was what he could gather from the other's descriptions, from the bits and pieces of information he was able to use to put a picture together. There was probably nothing that the other, as their true curse form, would have been able to do for them. ❝This isn't to say that you taking their form was right...because I can't say whether that has a right or wrong since I don't know 'Yan Qing' and how he might have felt about it all. All I can tell you is what I think. Nothing more than that.❞ As another human, as someone who too could have been somewhat similar to them when sadness becomes too powerful, when the drive to continue becomes too much. Falling quiet once more, he glanced up at the ceiling, rumerating on the question he was asked at the end of it all.

     What a thing to ask...

     How was he to answer? ❝I think...❞ he began, words spoken slowly -- response still mulled over with the same careful thought one gave when they were tasting wine or food, ❝originally I wouldn't. I think I might try to pretend. But you can only pretend for so long before you just can't anymore.❞ Nanami knew a thing or two about 'pretending'; uncomfortably so. ❝Denial isn't something that can last forever. Eventually, you have to open your eyes and see the truth in front of you.❞ He looked back at the other, eyes softening a little. ❝And when that time comes, it's a lot more freeing to accept than to fight against it.❞

[ladyloveandjustice]

Spring 2021 anime overview: Quick Takes

Now for my Spring 2021 anime thoughts! I’ve decided from now on if a season’s like, 20- to-24 episodes I’m just going to wait ‘til it’s done to review it unless I feels super passionately, so though I watched To Your Eternity (it’s good!) and MHA (eh), I’ll comment on them next time. Also, for the record, I watched the first eight eps of Joran: Princess and Snow of Blood but I dropped it because it had clearly crossed the line from entertainingly dumb to boring dumb. 

I will probably give Supercub and some other stuff a shot later, this was a stacked season! May give updates on all that later, but this is what I have for now.

ODDTAXI

Quick Summary: A mild mannered middle-aged walrus taxi driver is drawn into a case involving a missing girl, yakuza, Youtube clout-chasers, manzai comedians and idols with big secrets.

It’s rare to walk away from media and be like “that is a singular experience I will definitely never see repeated again” but ODDTAXI is definitely one of those. A tense noir thriller murder mystery starring cartoon animals that spends an entire episode detailing the one (cat)man’s very fall into darkness triggered by addiction to gacha games and an online auction for a novelty eraser? Also there’s a porcupine Yakuza who speaks entirely in rap? Also there’s tons of meandering conversations about stuff like manzai comedy and the struggle to go viral on Twitter?

Admittedly, I had a hard time getting into the first episode, the dry meandering humor not being enough to hold my attention while I was sitting still, but once I watched this while I was working out at the end of the season, I found it an easy binge. A ton of characters with dark secrets or dangerous ambitions, each with their own part to play in a tableau of intersecting events- and it all actually comes together really well.(As for the female characters, it’s a pretty dude driven story, but they do get nuanced characterization and even some good heroic moments from one of them.)

 It’s a great example of a carefully planned narrative paying off, with all the twists appropriately seeded and foreshadowed to reward viewers who paid attention. Even when it ended on a perfect “OH SHIT” moment and denied me closure, I couldn’t help but respect it. If you that all sounds interesting to you, definitely check out the first couple episodes and see if you like it- you’re likely to have a memorable, satisfying experience!

Shadows House

Quick Summary: Emilyko is a ‘living doll’ who’s told she was created to act as the ‘face’ of her shadow master, Kate. The shadows and their ‘dolls’ all reside on the mansion and are required to pass a ‘debut’ to prove they’re a good pairing. If they don’t pass, they might be disposed of. And so the mystery of the Shadow mansion grows...

This slice of gothic intrigue was my favorite of the season, tied with ODDTAXI. With an interesting premise, slightly tense undertones and a strong focus on character building and relationships, it kept me hooked the whole way through. And for any squeamish fans put off by the hype about it, don’t worry, while there are some suspenseful elements, I wouldn’t qualify it as horror. I thought the relationship between Kate and Emilyko might end up being a completely sinister one, but it’s thankfully a lot more complex than that and it’s really interesting to follow how both their characters and relationship grow. The focus of the show is, unsurprisingly, on the “dolls” slowly discovering their autonomy and personhood as they struggle under the rigid system imposed on them by the mysterious elders of this weird Victorian mansion. Can they develop a more equitable relationship with their shadow “masters” (who are also shown to suffer under this system)? There’s a lot to dig into there, and the show has the characters develop through learning to understand and appreciate each other, which is pretty heartwarming. Our hero, Emilyko, is the typical plucky ball of sunshine (they even nickname her sunshine), but she’s also shown to be clever in her own off-the-wall way and she bounces off the far more subdued and cynical Kate well, not to mention the other ‘dolls’ she ends up befriending. 

What’s more, the show spends plenty of time to developing several other character pairings and combinations, and they all have their own interesting dynamic that makes you want to see more of them. Same-gender bonds are at the forefront of this show, and many of them are ripe for queer readings (I definitely appreciated the healthy helping of ladies carrying ladies), but even outside that it’s nice to see a show where a strong, complex bond between girls is at the forefront. My only real complaints about the show are the anime original ending is noticeably a bit rushed (though it’s not too bad, and leaves room for a season 2) and I wish the animation used the whole “shadow” theme more strikingly (like the opening and endings do)- instead the colors are a bit washed out which makes the shadows blend into the background sometimes. The “debut” arc also drags a bit in places, but it makes up for it by having a lot of good character integration.

I hope to check out the (full color)! manga soon and see more of this quirky, shadowy story. There’s some physical abuse depicted, sad things happening to characters and naturally the whole “oppressive familial system” thing, but otherwise not much I can think of to warn about. I give this one a big rec, especially If you’re a fan of gothic fairytales and stories of self discovery.  

Zombie Land Saga Revenge

Quickest summary: In this sequel season, everyone’s favorite zombie idol group must claw their way back into prominence after a disastrous show- the fate of the Saga prefecture LITERALLY depends on it!

This was a fun follow-up to the first season- if you liked the first zombie-girl romp, you’ll probably enjoy this one. In fact, there were a couple areas it improved on- namely, Kotaro failed, ate crow and embarrassed himself a lot more this season, which made him more likeable (as did the fact the girls gained a lot of independence from him). This season also shed more light on what the ‘goal’ of this zombie raising project is and what kind of shit Kotaro got involved with to make this happen, and it’s appropriately off-the-wall and ridiculous. We finally got some backstory for Yugiri too! I wish it had focused on more of her interiority, but she got to be a badass in it, and it was a treat to see this zombie idol show turn into a period piece for a couple episodes (also her song ruled).

 Tae also got a cute focus episode and there was a particular SMASHING performance early on! Also That revelation last season that had the potential to turn creepy hasn’t yet, and hopefully never will. The finale was heartwarming with big hints of more drama to come- I’m definitely down for more zombie hijinks!

Vivy: Flourite Eye’s Song

Quickest Summary: A songstress AI named DIVA (nicknamed Vivy) is approached by another AI named Matsumoto, who says he’s from the future and they must work together to prevent AI exterminating all of humankind 100 years from now.

This show is absolutely gorgeous visually with some really nice action scenes, but when it comes to the story my feelings basically amount to a shrug. It’s fine! I guess! Vivy starts out as an interesting layered character- and I guess still is by the end- with her stoic but stubborn determination bouncing off her fast-talking bossy partner Matsumoto well. She never listens to him, which is delightful. The way the show took place over the course of 100 years was an interesting conceit as well. However, it bought up a lot of themes and then sort of... dropped them. For instance, Vivy interprets her mission (PRIME DIRECTIVE if you will) as protecting humans at all costs, no matter how destructive said humans are or what their fate is supposed to be, and is perfectly willing to murder her fellow androids to do this, showing she inherently thinks of androids (herself and her own people!) as less worthy. Which is a little alarming! There’s a very dramatic point in the show where they bring this up as a potential conflict for her character but then it’s sort of...dropped. Pretty much.

Actually, despite the premise, the show doesn’t dip into the “AI rights” as much as you think it would with the main theme being more about Vivy’s search to find her own creativity and discover what it means to ‘pour your heart into something’. Vivy herself doesn’t actually care if she has rights or anything. Which is in some ways fine, because ‘AI as an oppressed class’ has been done to death, but IT’S ALSO KIND OF IN THE PREMISE, so that means that the show just shrugs really hard at a lot of the questions it brings up  basically just going “humans and AI should work together probably” and that’s it. There’s a lot that feels underexplored. The antagonists in the show also either have motivations that don’t really make sense or have boring hackneyed motivations. In the finale in particular, it feels like a lot of things happen “just because” and it falls a little flat.

I also have to warn that one of the arcs focus on a robot ‘pairing’ where the dude-coded robots actions toward his partner are straight up awful and rob her of her autonomy, but it’s played like a tragic love story. I suppose you could read it differently too, but it definitely made me go ‘ew’ the story seemed to want me to sympathize with this robo dude,

Overall, I wouldn’t anti-recommend this show, it’s an all right little sci-fic romp (and definitely SUPER pretty). My favorite element was definitely the episodes where Vivy develops an entirely new (an loveable) personality, because it played with the idea of of an AI getting “rebooted” really well and interplay between her two “selves” was done really well. But there are a lot of other parts of the show that just feel...a little underexplored and empty, making me have an ‘eh’ feeling on the show overall. It’s definitely an ambitious project, and while it didn’t quite stick the landing, there’s something to be said for a show that shoots for the stars and falls short over a show that just languishes in mediocrity.

Fruits Basket The Final

Quick summary: The final season of that dramatic drama about that weird family with a zodiac curse and the girl who loves them.

It’s very weird that after not cutting a lot out, they kinda sped through some material for, you know, the finale. I guess they thought they couldn’t stretch this final arc to 26 episodes? Or weren’t cleared for another double cour? However, though there were a couple places that felt awkward, despite being a bit condensed it mostly held together pretty well for a D R A M A T I C and ultimately heartwarming conclusion. I was really disappointed they kept the part where Ritsu cut their hair for the ‘happy ending’, I thought  their intro episode not showing them in men’s clothes meant the anime had decided their presentation didn’t need to be “fixed” but WELL I GUESS NOT. That was the only big upset for me though, otherwise the adaptation went about how I expected, sticking to the source material. Furuba has a lot of bumps, from weird age gap stuff to ...gender, but it also has a lot of important feels and great character arcs. It was a gateway shoujo for many and has its important place in animanga history, so I’m glad it finally got a shiny, full adaptation.

[gaitwae]

Wildest Dreams [|] Loki x Reader

Sequel to Mr. Perfectly Fine

Warnings: 

Summary: Loki remembers what he’s done to you. You work through the hurt, deciding not to rush whatever’s really going on.

Tags: @make-me-imagine @thorfanficwriter @bwemph @myraiswack @rorybutnotgilmore @loki-snape-our-hero @wolfish-trickster @lucywrites02 @mostly-marvel-musings @winterfrostsarmy @superheroesandstardust @castiels-majestic-wings @geekns @natandersonnla @cozy-the-overlord @megthemewlingquim @frostedgiant @whatafuckingdumbass @thebookbakery @delightfulheartdream @twhiddlestonsstuff @lokistan @the-emo-asgardian @amwolowicz @itscomplicatedx @sophlubbwriting​ @darkacademicfrom2021 @lilyofthesword 

It was absolutely safe to say that when your eyes opened, you were scared out of your mind. Loki was sleeping on your couch, his fingers laced with yours. Vaguely, all too quickly, you realized that accepting his dashing-yet-blunt proposal wasn’t a fantasy.

Hurt bubbled up in your chest. Your eyes stung dully as you removed your hand from his. You checked his temperature: it was low. He was drunk. He was sitting on your couch with your smudged lip color on his. He did think you were engaged now, despite the fact that you were quickly realizing how bad that was.

Loki hurt you.

Loki hurt you real bad.

You couldn’t marry this man, no matter how much you might have wanted to those years ago. You never would have said yes! Loki just... he seemed so sad. He had never cried in front of you, not if you didn’t count Frigga’s funeral, and even then, that wasn’t anything like... well... that display. His tears were like salt in the wound, laughing right at you. You put some distance between the two of you. You cleaned his mouth off with your sleeve, wondering how on Earth you were going to explain this to Bucky.

Oh, no.

Bucky.

Bucky was going to have to hear Loki’s hungover insistance that you were now his fiancée. He was also going to have to hear about how you kissed Loki back. You had to be honest. You had to call your boyfriend. There was no skipping over the truth when you were dating a lawyer, no matter how much you wanted to avoid it.

It was better that he heard it from you rather than the ex boyfriend laying on your couch.

You dialed Bucky’s number. He picked up quickly. “Baby, are you okay?”

“Bucky, Loki came over,” you said quickly, “and he was drunk... he, uh, kissed me, and he proposed to me because apparently you were planning on asking me to marry you?” You swallowed, trying to think of how to redeem yourself. “I got so swept up with emotion from the past, I said yes, I didn’t mean to, but Loki was already crying and I needed him to calm down — he’s — he’s asleep, but if he starts getting protective by the time you come home, I’m so sorry—!”

“Wait,” Bucky said, cutting you off. “Baby, explain this again. Calmly, okay?” He didn’t sound too worried. Then again, this might be the quiet before the storm.

“Loki came by our house, drunk. He was crying, and I got nervous. He kissed me, proposed, and then asked me to marry him. I didn’t know what to do, so I said yes. I’m so, so sorry....”

“Well, you’re not going to marry him, are you?” he asked, sad humor slipping in. Your heart sank.

“I don’t know,” you mumbled. You didn’t mean to say it out loud, but hey? What could you do? You held the phone to your ear gingerly, keeping an eye on Loki’s sleeping form. “I-I mean, no. No.”

The anger slowly started to build. You understood it. You hoped he would be mad at you instead of Loki. “You don’t know? Or ‘no’? What is it?”

“James, it isn’t like that,” you protested. You bit your tongue and your cheek. If the world was perfect, you would have married Loki like you were set on. You would have had children with him, by now. As you spoke, you found you weren’t faced with the possibility of losing Bucky, but the possibility of throwing away your decade-old dreams. “I swear. I don’t want to marry anybody, right now. I don’t. I couldn’t.”

“Why couldn’t you? What if I did propose, Y/N?” Defensive. Protective. Angry. Hurt. Why? Had Loki been right? 

You hadn’t ever talked about marrying Bucky. You couldn’t imagine that life. “Bucky, can we save this for later?” you begged through the phone. “Please, I’m worried about Loki; he’s never drunk himself stupid before.” You scratched your neck. In your wildest dreams, you had never imagined falling back into Loki’s temptation.

You had finally woken up clean, and he had to try to bring you back down.

“Y/N?” he asked after a moment. Barnes sounded hollow. Hollow, but understanding. There was a shuffle over the phone and you couldn’t tell what it was. Was he leaving? Was he moving around? Would he forgive you?

“Yeah?” you managed. 

“You still love him. Don’t you?” 

Your tongue was glued to the roof of your mouth. Your tears welled up. No wonder you were able to be friends with Loki. No wonder you weren’t able to just forget about him. With an ocean of regret in your voice, you admitted, “I don’t want to.”

James sighed. “Okay. Well, we can talk things through at home... I know you didn’t mean for anything to happen, I know you’ve been as faithful as you can be. You wouldn’t be calling and crying otherwise.” He sniffed. “I shouldn’t have planned a proposal without clearing it with you. We haven’t talked about marriage.”

“Bucky, if I do ever marry, I don’t want you to worry if it’s you or Loki. I don’t even know if I want to marry anyone. Loki clearly has feelings for me, I can’t just pretend that I don’t have remaining feelings when he could very well keep coming by... Gosh.” You sat down in a chair. You looked at your left hand, which had no ring on it. It was bare. 

“I’ll head home,” Bucky said. “Sit tight. Bye.”

“Bye.” You hung up the phone. You held your head in your hands, silently cursing yourself for being the world’s biggest pushover. Your ex waltzed in, gave off a teary show, and then pleaded for your heart like he was on death row, and you listened. Were you an idiot? What kind of mistake were you making? Could you up and leave Bucky for some tool who could change his mind as quickly as he had four years ago?

You sat there for what seemed like hours; it was probably only one or two, considering how long Bucky’s firm was from your home. Your boyfriend eventually stepped through the door and pulled you into his arms, millions of apologies being swapped between the two of you. 

You sat at the table and talked for almost three hours. Every now and then, it was bordering an argument, but you both kept your cool. Bucky knew how hard you were trying to be there for him, to be his, but when it came down to it, you were always Loki’s. You had a raw wound. You knew how much Bucky wanted to be yours, but as it turned out, he was proposing because it seemed like what was expected of him. Through the conversation, you learned that maybe it was smarter to take a break, maybe stay roommates, and try to exist as friends again.

“If Loki makes you happy,” Bucky whispered, “then I think you should try again. He’s changed; he’s made changes for you. He’s been good to you. We’ve been barely getting by these past months.”

“I know,” you replied. “But I’m not going to turn around and just run after him. That’s not smart. You’re still in my life, Buck.”

“All I see is you,” he murmured.

“I know,” you said again.

Bucky stood up. “I’m going to stay at Steve’s tonight, doll. Um... make sure Loki has water when he wakes up. Give him a good tongue-thrashing for me.” He offered a weak smile.

You sniffled. “Take whatever you need. I’ll be up playing nurse — don’t worry about anything.”

Bucky nodded. “Got it.” He scratched his nose. “I’ll drop by in the morning and see if there’s anything I can help with.”

+-+--

When Loki woke up, the headache was the first thing he complained of. “Y/N?” he groaned. You were sitting next to him, hands tucked under your arms. You were gazing down at him, watching his face as his expression changed from pained to embarrassed. “Please tell me what happened was just a fever dream...”

You shook your head. “You proposed to me.”

“You said ‘yes’,” he breathed, slapping a hand to his forehead. “Oh, my Norns. I’m so sorry; you don’t have to marry me. I was an idiot. I shouldn’t have even come by — I walked from the bar, in the rain, with only the thought of taking you back...”

“I figured,” you chuckled lightly. You didn’t meet his eyes. You played with the hem of your shirt. “Bucky and I might break up, though. You told on him. His planned proposal, I mean.” 

“You aren’t breaking up because of me, are you?”

“No; not entirely. I’m still... You’re trouble, you know that? I’m going to get a reputation.”

“You need one,” Loki joked. “People will be less likely to take advantage of you, then. Odinson’s Wife — the Terrifying Maiden.”

“I’m no maiden,” you said, rolling your eyes. “I’m still upset from our breakup. That’s why Bucky and I are thinking about calling it quits. I wasn’t over you when I thought I was, so just shut up and drink some water.” You handed him a glass. “You can’t hold your liquor, you know.”

Loki took it gingerly. “Oh, I hate how well you know me,” he sighed, taking a long sip. “Do I get some aspirin?”

“No.” You crossed your arms. “You said you’ve been carrying Frigga’s ring in your pocket since she died?”

“I did?” He furrowed his brows. “That’s right, I did... I’ve been keeping it for you, I must admit.”

“You said.”

Loki sat up, taking your hand. “I have your picture in my wallet.”

“You what?” You blinked. “You didn’t say that.” You scooted a little closer. 

“Well, no, I didn’t; I didn’t need you to drop my glass heart, now, did I?” Loki smirked a little. “You know it always has been you, lover.”

“I’m not your lover,” you said exasperatedly. 

Loki kissed your cheek. Although you pushed him off once or twice, he managed to snake his arms around your waist and hang on you. “Not yet. I will marry you, whatever it takes.”

+-+--

Sidewalk chalk was an odd Christmas tradition with Thor’s kids. It was another three years after Loki’s drunken proposal, and you and Bucky eventually sorted it out and found you were both much, much happier. Bucky married Sarah Wilson, taking her two boys as his own stepchildren. You were still in the grey area with Loki, but you wouldn’t deny that you were about ready to scream if he didn’t at least try to pop the question.

“Y/N, darling, I brought you something!” Loki’s voice came from upstairs. Thor’s house was large, and the wife he had picked opted to be a stay-at-home mother while the toddlers were toddling. He poked his head out from the upstairs balcony and grinned at you like a madman. 

“What did you bring me?” you asked, arching your brow at your boyfriend-but-not-really. He stomped down the stairs, thrusting a little blue bag in your hands.

“I’ve brought glad tidings. I’ve come to free you~” he teased, poking your sides. “My undying affection. My most-ardent love for you—”

“—Can it, tell me what it is,” you said, cutting him off. Loki pulled you flush against his chest, peppering your cheek with kisses.

“I want you to imagine us... you, standing in a nice dress, me, staring at you staring at the sunset,” he whispered, lacing your fingers. “Happy Christmas, darling.”

“What is it?” you pressed, looking in the bag. It was a little picture of a house. “What?”

“That’s our home, sweetheart,” Loki said, resting his head on top of yours. “We’ll live there after the wedding, raise our children...”

“You’re still trying to get me to marry you?” you asked.

“We’ve been engaged for three years!” he scolded playfully. “Not even in your wildest dreams, I would not be trying to make you my wife.”

“What if I am your wife?”

“I’ll try to marry you again!” he laughed, kissing you sweetly. 

[thestarsanctuary]

hi! I was hoping you could do a Bakugo, Midoriya, Todoroki and Kirishima (separate) with an s/o that has Tourettes, preferably they/them pronouns please. I hope you're having a good day <3

Of course! I was gonna take a break in the middle of my (unspoken) break aka me being lazy, but this request was so nice I- I had to 😔✋🏾 it was definitely the heart. It got me.

MHA BOYS WITH AN S/O THAT HAS TOURETTES

TW FOR ODD LOOKS AND STARES/BULLYING(ISH)

BAKUGO

Bakugo wasn’t really sure when he first met you about why your head was twitching or why you were repeating the sentences Aizawa had said sometimes, as he didn’t know you had tourettes. He never even spoke to you like the others did so you never had the chance to tell him until Kirishima did.

When you two started dating he started seeing patterns of when you would get to stressed and start jerking or spouting out random things you heard from youtube videos, he did his best to make sure you knew he was there for reassurance, whether it was a hand on your hand or just pure presence.

There were times when you would have ticcing fits and he would have to sit and rub your back and watch you, and in those times you realized he really was there for you.

He likes to do this thing where he rants on about things he doesn’t like to try and distract you- I’m not sure how he has so much he doesn’t like but every time it’s a new odd topic....sometimes it can literally be something like how he hates trees because when it’s fall he has to rake up the leaves and you have to say

“Bakugo they literally help you not die.” It really is a mystery sometimes how he’s so smart.

Sometimes you can be a bit upset with your tics. It’s not that you’re insecure or that you’re ashamed, but they’re difficult to deal with. The control that you could have isn’t there and that’s stressful in and of itself, and in those moments Bakugo realizes the best thing he can do for you - is make you understand that you are just like the rest of the class and the rest of the people in the world.

“Listen it doesn’t matter if you’re different because to me you’re still cool, you’re still funny, you’re still incredibly sarcastic and while I don’t enjoy that for the most part- you’re my extra regardless of whatever you feel. Get that bull out of your head.”

I mean, he wouldn’t date anybody less than the best.

MIDORIYA

Midoriya is the predictable character in the relationship. He researched about Tourettes and what he could do in times when you needed him, I mean he’s not perfect but he’d rather know something rather than nothing.

You tended to be the one who was more of a risk taker, and sometimes your tourettes got in the way of that- which could frustrate you to no end then causing harsher tics like hitting or yelling, and those were the times Midoriya tried to get anything too dangerous either out of your hands- or just out of the way so you didn’t get hurt, he was smart with it.

Other times he could be too much for you, almost treating you like a kid so you had to remind him that you know and understand precautions, but that you also want to live like everybody else and that is nothing short of your business.

You’re favorite activity with him was when he would help you study because he made it so fun for you. It could be hard to pay attention in class sometimes and do your work after school so Izuku would come over and assist you. He would make sure you guys took breaks and that you understood the topic at your own pace.

“Izuku can you like- give an example?”

“Well it’s just kind of- wait what is an example-“

In many situations Midoriya LOVED holding your hand, like he did it at any time, any place. It was something he thought wasn’t too much in public and it was reassuring for you both. When you’re tics got too much you could squeeze his hand, and other times when he wouls get anxious or something would happen he would squeeze yours. It was cute and handy!

There were instances when Midoriya definitely had his mistakes with your tics and how to deal with them but he was willing to take his time and learn because who would he be without his perfect person stayin’ by his side?

KIRISHIMA

Kirishima is probably the most sympathetic with your tics because he stay prepared for them. It’s never been like “Kirishima can you” but it’s always been more like ‘Kiri how do you always know’ and there’s never been an answer that he gave other than ‘I gotta stay ready for my lovely lover~’

Kirishima likes to do this thing where he goes “neck” after you have a rough day with your tics and with massage your neck for you or your back, depending on how your tics were. He likes takin’ care of you, and it’s not like he doesn’t know you can’t take care of yourself because hey, you didn’t get into 1-A by being a pushover.

Sometimes you’ve had times when people in school just aren’t all that accepting and Kirishima will clap back unprovoked.

“Sometimes I think about how sad you have to be to make fun of them and dang man, you got a therapist?”

Other times you’ll basically respond for him, like I said, you can DEFINITELY take care of yourself.

Whenever you’re in the car or on the bus on a trip in the case that you’ve gotten real excited (which is natural being around your boyfriends and your friends at the same time) he’ll play this playlist he made of your favorite songs and sing to distract you. Does he sing well? That wasn’t the question- but he does sing, only for you though because the other students keep dissing him.

He has a reflex of rubbing your back during free period or at lunch. I don’t think this is relevant but it’s something super adorable, and sometimes he just gives you his hand to look at and play with when you have anxiety as well to keep you calm.

Also irrelevant but other times he’ll facetime you before you guys go somewhere and ask what to wear because he wants to match with you, and it’s so cute because you could lie so hard and he’d believe everything you say.

You two are kinda a power couple like- you both can hold your own but also are such nice people, good job makin’ the rest of 1-A feel lonely guys.

TODOROKI

Todoroki is a simple guy. He doesn’t want to overcomplicate things for the most part because “why would I act like your guardian, if I’m literally your boyfriend” and that’s that.

He tends to try and keep you calm, as it’s something pretty simple for him, he knows a bunch of tactics for distractions or when those are obsolete, he’ll just sit there with you, and maybe rub your back or get a water bottle for when it’s done, he just never wants to do too much because he knows your capabilities, and he knows your limits.

He is also a large hand holder. Mostly because he doesn’t like the idea of PDA for the most part, and he doesn’t like leaving your side either, because you’re very comforting to him. It’s a given we all know he needs love and comfort please.

There have been times when people look at your because of your tics in public and Todoroki has had to give a little glare back because of the disrespect being blatantly put out. In rarer times you will both glare at the same time, those are the coolest moments of you as a couple.

Shoto doesn’t really care much for your tics only because he’d rather just make sure you’re ok then watch Avengers rather than treat you like a child if anything, and that’s because you told him first that you wanted a boyfriend not a babysitter (speakin’ facts) and at first he didn’t understand and he thought you didn’t want his help but soon understood otherwise.

Some cute things I like to think of are that he likes to put on your favorite songs when you’re anxious and try to dance for you. It’s not good- let’s start with that, because he’s kinda...stiff, but the attempt is absolutely adorable (and oh so funny).

Other things are he likes to call you cheesy nicknames when you’re cuddling because he likes your reactions everytime, because according to him, yeah he said it himself, you are very adorable when annoyed. Don’t @ me!

Overall he just loves spending time with you whenever he can, you’re truly a safe-haven for him.

EL FIN

-

Alright tourettes is a real thing y’all, so I didnt make this rainbows n cupcakes bc im sure that’s not always how it is.

If anything in this is offensive or too much for somebody I can take it down and re-do it! I’m not too sure how it is bc it feels kinda repetitive but we’ll see I guess, and thanks to the person who requested my day was fine thanks 😩✋🏾.

I also included some things I like to do (play with hands and listen to music) because i have anxiety and I known that can worsen tics and can also come with tics (a lot of ppl with tics have adhd, anxiety, or some sort of disorder along with it)

- SS <333333

[haikyuu-sins]

Fluff Alphabet-Trafalgar Law

Since no one wanted to send me any Law requests, I took matters into my own hands and did this. I got the prompt from @dragonprincess18 so thank you for this because I needed it! :) 

*********

A-Activities: What do they like to do with their boyfriends/girlfriend? How do they spend their free time together?

For the most part, if you’re on the sub with him and there’s nowhere to go but yours and his rooms, his office, and the kitchen area he prefers to stay in his office and room because he enjoys the quiet. Law absolutely loves reading with you. Especially if you’re reading one of his medical books and you ask questions about it. He just really likes that you’re interested in it and want to learn more. He also likes that you know about this kind of stuff in case you need the information. If you do know that he likes Sora, Warrior of the Sea, (he will try to hide it) then he’ll probably geek out once or twice about it. You can’t help but smile when he talks about it so in depth because you love seeing him talk about something he enjoys. If you aren’t on the sub and you’re on a new island, he will begrudgingly (he secretly loves it, but won’t admit) explore the town with you as long as the last stop is a book store of some sort.

B-Beauty: What do they admire about their boyfriends/girlfriend? What do they think is beautiful about them?

He admires how much you care about him. He can see how much you do and he hasn’t had someone like that since Cora. He melts on the inside when he sees you smiling at him and he’s the reason for it.

C-Comfort: How would they help their boyfriends/girlfriend when they feel down, have a panic attack, etc?

He understands what it’s like and sometimes because from time to time he’ll get them when he’s alone. It depends on how you want to be comforted. If you don’t want to be touched, he won’t. He’ll probably just go to the kitchen and get you something warm to drink to help you calm down. But if physical touch helps you, he’ll have you sit on his desk and he’ll rub your thigh or he’ll let you sit on his lap while he rubs your back up and down or cards his fingers through your hair. He’ll reassure you that everything is going to be okay and it’s going to pass and it’s not going to last forever. He lets you talk about it after it’s over and listens to what you have to say. Law will give you advice on what he thinks will help you in whatever situation you’re in. When he sees you sad, he just wants to hold you because he hates seeing you sad. He’ll bring you your favorite comfort drink and food to his room with you (even though I think he’d hate having food and drinks in his bed, he would absolutely make an exception for you) and you guys will just cuddle together while you talk about what’s wrong.

D-Dreams: How do they picture their future with their boyfriends/girlfriend?

Law doesn’t exactly think very far. He’s basically on a suicide mission so honestly he doesn’t see a future yet. Once everything is over and if he survives then he starts to think about his future with you because he really doesn’t want to get your hopes up. He really just always wants to be around you and as long as you’re there with him, everything is perfectly fine. 

E-Equal: Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

He’s a little bit of both, it depends on the day. I’d say he very much tends to be on the more dominant side but there are days where he’s just kind of, whatever about things. That’s only when he has time to relax and that’s almost never.

F-Fight: Would they be easy to forgive their boyfriends/girlfriend? How are they fighting?

I think you’d probably fight with him about how he’s so willing and ready to throw his life away for his causes and how much it bothers you. He says some hurtful things that he’ll admit that he only said out of anger. He’ll be angry for a while but eventually he’ll go and talk to you about the fight and apologize for what he said to you.

G-Gratitude: How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their boyfriends/girlfriend do for them?

He’s very grateful for the things you do for him but he may not show it all the time. Like when he forgets to eat and you bring him something that you made for him. He’s also very aware that you take care of him better than he takes care of himself in terms of making him eat and drink water instead of coffee for once.

H-Honesty: Do they have secrets they hide from their boyfriends/girlfriend? Or do they share everything?

He hides a lot. Law is not a very open person and I don’t even think he’s told his crew about his entire past. You might be an exception but honestly, don’t count on it. It’s difficult to get him to open up about himself and you do have to pry a lot. He might get a little annoyed, but when you tell him that you just want to know more about him, he may give in a bit and tell you a thing or two. Definitely hides the fact that he loves Sora, Warrior of the Sea. He doesn’t know that there’s a good chance that you’ve seen the comics before so he thinks he does a good job at hiding them. They’re either in a box under his bed or in his desk drawer.

I-Inspiration: Did their boyfriends/girlfriend change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things, or helping them overcome personal problems?

If you do get him to open up, you made him realize how good it feels to get things off his chest. Law has been living with this weight on his shoulders about his past and everything that has happened to him. So when you sit there and just listen to him, he likes knowing that you’re actually listening and taking it all in. Don’t say anything, just let him talk. It’s very rare that he comes and talks to you about his problems because he feels like he’s dragging you into unnecessary drama about his plans. He’s taught you to look at things from a different perspective and to think things out thoroughly.

J-Jealousy: Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

He doesn’t get jealous at all really, mostly annoyed I guess. He doesn’t really do anything unless you can’t get out of the situation, it gets out of hand, or you look to him for help. If he does get jealous, he doesn’t say it and you’ll have to ask Mr. PoutyPants about it. He’ll be shut in his office and probably be a bit petty about it. I can see him hating the fact that Sanji gives you a lot of attention if you don’t shut it down. He may or may not tell you to “go talk to your other boyfriend” at some point because, well, petty. 

K-Kiss: Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Oh he’s a good kisser alright. Among plenty other things. Something tells me that pre timeskip Law would be a cocky bastard and pull you to him by your shirt and lift your chin and whatnot- just being a tease. But post timeskip Law just gives me awkward vibes but in the best way possible. He’d be a little more shy about it, honestly I think he may even plan it out in his head and just hopes that everything goes accordingly. 

L-Love Confession: How would they confess to their boyfriends/girlfriend?

He didn’t realize his feelings until the two of you were in real danger. Well he actually did but he didn’t want to admit it. He thought he was really good at pushing his feelings down and not letting bubble up but seeing you so bloody and beat up, it changed in an instant. He knew that he couldn’t lose you. When he was able to patch you up and you woke up after asking how he was, Law was mad. “How am I? You should be asking about yourself, dumbass-ya.” “Seriously Law, are you okay?” “No. I could have lost you.” That’s basically his confession and it’s the best you’re going to get until you actually hear him say that he loves you.

M-Marriage: Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

I don’t think Law would want to get married-officially, anyway- he’s not the kind of guy to settle down. He’s a pirate. If you wanted a ring, then sure he’ll get you one but I don’t think he would actually propose to you. It would be more like an unspoken thing that you guys are very much together so technically you’re married in his eyes and he’ll call you his wife/partner. **Spoilers for Wano Arc!!!** When you get captured and are in the prison with Bepo and the others and when Shinobu says to kill you guys after she thinks you snitched, he’s pissed. Absolutely livid. “You think I’m going to let you put a finger my wife/partner? You’ll be dead before you can take one step towards them.”

N-Nicknames: What do they call their boyfriends/girlfriend?

The only name I can think of him calling you is possibly “love” but it is in the utmost of privacy when he absolutely knows that no one can hear him. He just gets all flustered when others tease him for it and it’s happened a handful of times. The bedroom though is a different story

O-On Cloud Nine: What are they like when they’re in love? Is it obvious to others? How do they express their feelings?

Oh it’s so painfully obvious when he loves you to everyone but him. He thinks he’s hiding it so well, but the small unnecessary touches say otherwise. A brush past your shoulder, “Here, I made extra tea,” or him not yelling at you when you come into his office without knocking on accident. It’s the little things that make it obvious when he thinks it’s not. 

P-PDA: Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag about their boyfriends/girlfriend in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss, etc, when others are watching?

Not really. The only time he would do something like that is if you needed some sort of help and someone was hitting on you and you asked him to come over. “I don’t think my partner is very interested. I think it would be best if you leave.” He doesn’t brag very much, I’m sorry, he’s just not that kind of guy. He would much rather have your relationship be private. That being said, yes he’s way too shy to kiss you in front of others. Unless he’s sleepy, you might be able to get away with a little peck here and there. 

Q-Quirk: Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

He’s in no way romantic but what he does notice is when you and him are walking along some shops and he sees when something catches your eye or when you look at something longer than the rest. You may find it on your pillow that night. (He will have stolen it.) It makes you happy and that’s all he cares about.

R-Romance: How romantic are they? What would they do to make their boyfriends/girlfriend happy? Cliche, or rather creative?

There is not one romantic bone in this man’s body. He very much relies on his crew to help him. It’s not like they set everything up, although they have a few times but it was a surprise on both of your parts. They wanted you two to have a nice evening together by yourselves and be able to relax without planning it all. That all being said, the romantic stuff is a little on the cliche side, but in the best way possible and it makes really nice memories. 

S-Support: Are they helping their boyfriends/girlfriend achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Oh my goodness yes yes yes! He might not show it often but every once in a while he’ll say that he’s proud of you at how far you’ve come as a pirate. Especially if he’s helped you train and feels how much stronger your punches and kicks are.

T-Thrill: Do they need to try out new things to spice up the relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Routine. Routine. Routine. He does not want to differ from his routine. Sure one new thing every once in a while is okay depending on what it is. But he probably won’t want to incorporate it into the everyday relationship. He likes what he has going with you. Though if you insist on something new, then he’ll try it and see if he gets used to it. If he doesn’t he’ll say something about it. If he does, he’ll stay quiet and not mention it. The second you do is when he wants to stop.

U-Understanding: How well do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He gets you. How well depends on how far you are in the relationship and how much you’ve talked. He’s also not very empathetic, I’m sorry. He’ll say what he thinks is best no matter what you may think about it and how much it will hurt your feelings. Sometimes it’s best because you can see another perspective and maybe he can help you from there. He will empathize with you if there’s a death or something tragic happens, he’s not that cruel. He would be there for you. 

V-Value: How important is the relationship to them? What is it worth in comparison to other things in their life?

You’re one of the most important things to Law in the world. He’s even found himself second guessing his plans and missions because he doesn’t want to lose you somehow. *spoilers I guess* If Doflamingo or Kaido ever got his hands on you and hurt you, he’d never forgive himself. He does put you first though and like I said before, you’ve argued with him over his plans and he’s very headstrong about it so he’s not going to back down.

W-Wild Card: A random fluff headcanon.

He’s let you paint his nails black one time and one time only. He won’t tell you that he actually didn’t mind it but he made you take it off before you guys went out to eat with the crew.

X-XOXO: Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Only in private. He’s a touch starved baby and he does actually really appreciate your touch when he’s stressed. So if you come into his office when he’s working on something and you can tell he’s ready to rip his hair out, he’ll love if you came up to him and hugged him from behind or rubbed his shoulders. Law actually does like to cuddle at night though when he’s trying to sleep. He’s found that when you’re either on his chest or he’s holding you it’s easier for him to get some shut eye even if it’s just for a few hours.

Y-Yearning: How will they cope when they’re missing their boyfriends/girlfriend?

He copes well enough. Of course he does miss you but he’s not going to cry about it. He might just kinda lean back in his office chair and sigh while he’s thinking about you. But when he’s really missing you, he’ll take a picture out from his desk that Bepo and Penguin made him take with you. He looks annoyed in the photo and he’s rolling his eyes, but he only pays attention to you and your bright smile and goofy pose. He can’t help but smile fondly at it. He won’t admit it but he actually really loves the picture and would never tell Bepo and Penguin that.

Z-Zeal: Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind?

Absofuckinlutely! He loves you with all his heart even if he doesn’t say it very often. He hasn’t loved someone like this in a very long time so he wants to protect what he has with you at all costs. I 100% believe he would risk his life for you. He does not want to lose you or anyone he loves ever again.

[lochnessies]

ok here’s a dissection of a post an anon sent me the link to and bc i have the worst time management possible and i completely forgot i had it lol so sorry anon here you go ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

I am constantly thinking about how Edelgard just doesn’t seem designed to appeal to cishet men.

i hate to be the one to break this news to you op but just because a character doesn’t show skin like charlotte fire emblem doesn’t mean she isn’t designed to pander to men. she’s very much designed to pander to the (majority straight male) player base with her ‘uwu i only trust you professor omg did u see that rat? pls don’t look at my painting of you uwu’.

then there’s the whole edelgard c support in japanese where byleth makes reference to having come to her room for ‘yobi’ which is

there’s also the scene where byleth can make an unsolicited comment about edelgard’s breast size. which is… uhh… gross.

edelgard also has cipher cards that go from slightly fanserviceie to full on suggestive

and also her breast armor that my sister relentlessly mocked lol

and here’s a chart from the 3h subreddit about gender/sexually in regards to edelgard and edeleth. it’s extremely straight male. op might have just overlooked this since they probably don’t go on reddit and stay on tumblr (which unlike reddit is mostly female and has a high lgbt demographic).

Like the joke is that Bleagles is the Gay House, but everything about her feels deliberately non-hetero.

i don’t like where this is going…

She’s dressed in sharp outfits covering her upper body, with proportions that don’t seem exaggerated.

so women who cover up must be lgbt because straight women are naturally more revealing? oh y i k e s

Her poise and the way she effortlessly flourishes her axe exhibits an air of coolness. While titties out =/= character of no substance, Edelgard being dressed more modestly suggests that she wasn’t designed with male-centred fanservice in mind.

“titties don’t equal no substance but here’s my post on how she has more substance because she doesn’t show titties” ok

And she still looks absolutely stunning in her more modest attire (like seriously, I haven’t felt the need to return to cosplay in years but I want to do her academy look so bad). 

yes she does. amazing design 10/10. i have a feeling this is the only part i’m going to agree with

Edelgard is intense. She does not mince her words and she is constantly evaluating you. Though she tries, she has a difficult time understanding her peers initially. Early on, she talks about how she would sacrifice herself and others in the name of some greater good. She is terrible at communicating with her peers. She has to be seen as infallible. Her heart has been hardened for years and she assumes she has to stay that way. She also assumes everyone mourns the same way she does - which is why she (kind of insensitively) insists you move on when Jeralt dies. Because to her, grief has to be channeled towards action, or else you’ll get lost in it. This attitude is demonstrated time and time again as she presses on. It can make her come off as cold and unfeeling - but look closer, and she’s anything but.

don’t really have anything to say at this part. it is pretty on the nose though i would slightly disagree with that last sentence a bit. i wouldn’t say she’s as i feeling as hubert is but all of her talks of the war boil down to how she feels and never her victims.

Her story is ultimately about her realizing that to achieve her goals, she needs to let people in and allow herself to want things like cakes and tea parties and lazy days in peace. 

????? what ????? her goals include imperialism, ethnic and religious targeting. her story is about having a set of beliefs and mowing down anybody who stands in her way. that has nothing to do with tea, friends, and lazy days. also am i supposed to be sad that she has to get up everyday and work? i do that and i didn’t start a war and only throw a pity party for myself

The game leaves the player guessing as to how involved the Flame Emperor was in each Part I event, makes you feel hurt by her betrayal, and leaves you with a choice: do you follow the orders of the woman who tried to make you a god without your consent, or a young girl with questionable morals about to throw the world into upheaval?

this isn’t an ideal situation but i think i’m going to stick with the woman who tried to make me a god since i’m not selfish and i know it’s not only my desires and life at stake here. plus the green hair slaps ngl

Choosing her of your own volition (not for completionist reasons) requires the basic ability to sympathize with a woman’s pain. It also requires the player to read beyond her unwavering will and dubious methods to get a sense of how deep that pain goes and how the theme of humanity relates to her differently in each route.

i’m not going to touch this since @nilsh13 made a post on it that i’ll link here. i agree with everything he said so to repeat it would be redundant.

The player must be able to see a young woman’s desperate resolve to change the world so it stops exploiting people and ruining lives. They must be able to accept the fact that women can make the same morally wrong and ambivalent decisions that complicated male characters get to make all the time and still be the one to root for.

literally the same reason i love rhea lol her goddess experiments are dubious at best but her reasons are the same you mentioned. i would say that i like this quality in edelgard too if her ending, while bloody, actually ended in a good outcome for fodlan.

This is not unique to LGBT+ people, but this population is likely to understand why Edelgard feels so strongly about why she has to change the system. 

i understand wanting to change a system, i really do. like edelgard, i’m an opinionated bisexual woman (who’s also physically disabled) so yeah i get it. and change can be good but it can also be terrible. even if the church was the boogeyman edelgard treats it as she still replaces it with her own shit regime. so it’s the same circus just with a new conductor.

I don’t think “Edelgard gets undue criticism because she’s a woman” captures the full picture. An important aspect of her treatment by certain parts of the fandom is that she’s a radical woman.

or maybe she does some pretty fucked up shit and it goes unacknowledged in her own route. and yeah she’s radical but in all the worst ways.

Her hatred of the Church and the Crest system resonates way harder with people who have been hurt by institutions that are deeply engrained in our society. 

and what about people who have been hurt by systems where their ‘merit’ didn’t measure up and they were left behind? what about people from nations that experienced imperialism?

Siding with her means siding against the Church - which, while different from real world religious institutions, still invokes language about “sin” and “punishment.

yeah the ‘sins’ and ‘punishments’ are used in relation to attempted murders which i think everybody can agree is a bad thing that needs to be condemned.

Choosing Edelgard will likely hit different if homophobic and transphobic Christians used that rhetoric against you.

it has literally nothing to do with ‘sins’ and ‘punishments’ in regards to being gay or trans. that’s you projecting. especially since the church has 2 canon gay characters and two coded ones.

like i can understand why having a church condemn you can be uncomfortable but i’m begging you to please look at the context of what’s happening.

I’m willing to go out on a limb and say that the reason F/F Edeleth is the more popular iteration of that ship because most people who would choose to S-support Edelgard are LGBT+ themselves. This is not a revelation. To anyone in the community, it’s fairly obvious. 

i was talking to nilish and he said

so yeah… while there is definitely sapphic femleth shippers out there, there’s still a whole lot of weird fetishizing going on from straight men about edelgard.

Crimson Flower was my first route. I went into the game knowing absolutely nothing. I played it during the last week of 2020 and hoo boy was it cathartic. 

i can tell. this wasn’t supposed to be a dig but it came out that way and i’m not taking it out.

I felt like I was living out a gay revolution power fantasy, where I could truly change systems of oppression while fighting alongside a group of troubled students I’d shaped the lives of.

so a gay revolution power fantasy (cringe) goes hand in hand with imperialism and installing a dictatorship? also the war had nothing to do with sexuality.

Through your unwavering support, Edelgard learns that she needs to be human, that she must listen to her friends, and that she’s allowed to enjoy the world she’s creating.

edelgard gets to learn how to be human all while hunting those who don’t. and she doesn’t listen fo her friends. she doesn’t even trust them. she’s willing to talk to byleth but keep the people who’s been by her side for five years in the dark about everything. and yeah she gets to enjoy her new words since she’s on top. hate to be a commoner under her rule after she burned down my village in her war.

I love this character so much.

clearly. and i honestly don’t care if somebody likes her. i do as well even if my sometimes scathing words can make it seem otherwise.

It has been six months since I first played and I am still analyzing her,

me too. please help me escape i’m losing my mind

because there’s so much depth. Yet so many people fail to see that depth and dismiss her as evil,

i mean, she does some fucked up shit that goes beyond any of the less than desirable actions of the other main characters and does an extremely poor job in trying to make herself seem innocent. i personally don’t think she’s pure evil but i completely understand where the people who say she is are coming from.

because they never had the will to understand complicated women in the first place. 

that’s big talk from somebody who implies that a gay pope is comparable to homophobic and transphobic irl religions and that leads an oppressive regime all because she uses the vague terms of sin and punishments that you have to gay power fantasy your way out of

[pieces-by-me]

Little Mouse

Hello there! This is my piece for @youbloodymadgenius​ 1k Writing Challenge!! I originally wanted to post this sooner but I took too much on my plate and have now so many things to write that I put myself under pressure. The idiot I am.🤦🏼‍♀️

But anyway: Congratulations again on this huge step!! You deserve every single one of us and even more and I’m sure your blog will only grow bigger and better. I really hope you enjoy this and that you have an amazing day/night ✨

Words: 2827

Summary: Ivar’s night before the big war will be interrupted by a visitor from his past. Someone he has almost forgotten.

Prompt: I have always depended on the kindness of strangers. - A Streetcar Named Desire

Warning: mention of death, I think thats it. English is not my first language

He was standing over the table, browns lined in though. Somehow he had to do it. He had to beat Alfred and win this final battle. The battle over Wessex.

Ivar was in pain. Not only his brain, form constantly thinking of strategy upon strategy, but also his legs. They were killing him. The constant raining, the fog and the gloomy atmosphere shrouding Wessex into a climate that did not agree with Ivar. They hurt worst then on the coldest day in Kattegat or the snow filed days of Kiev. Maybe it was because Kattegat was his home and he was just too used to that. But this was close to agony. The wind blowing through his tent was not helping either.

Not finding the answer he was looking for after watching over the maps of the terrain he was done with it for the night. Tightly gripping his crutch while limping to his bed he made his way carefully from one side to the other. Sitting down he reached for his cup of mead and took a big gulp, hoping the warming liquid would help his sour mood and hurting bones. And after a couple of more cups he felt the familia tingling of warmness traveling through his body. It didn't stop his legs from causing him pain, but at least it was now more tolerable. With this he was able to take off his braces. Making him hiss and grimace as the metal left his limps. 

But soon the soothing feeling came from not having his legs being trapped and pinched together that the hissing turned into a long sigh. Finally he could lay down and rest. His men and the one from Harald would want to know a plan by tomorrow but they would have to wait a bit, because he was to tired to think anymore. Something that didn't happen often. Taking of his heavy tunic and trowing it across the improvised room he closed his eyes with hoping to find sleep soon.

Ivar's hearing was always impeccable, a trait he was very proud of and something he would rub under the noses of his brothers every chance he would get. This time his hearing was the reason he woke up from a deep sleep. Someone was sneaking through his tent. And it was not his brother. That klutz was always too loud walking around. So who was mad enough to creep through his quarters while he was still in them? Someone with a death wish that was certain. He used his the arm he lay on to travel towards his hidden knife under his pillow. Something every son of Ragnar would sleep with. But just as his hand neared the edge of his pillow a voice filled with taunt went through his tent.

“I took your knife so you don't have to search for it.”

What in the name of Odin?

Not only was this voice teasing him, him a feared Viking throughout all the lands, but it was female and close to giggling. No use in trying to be stealthy he turned around to face this intruder and sat up.

When he looked at her he saw that she was a meek little thing. Thin, sickly and clothed in scraps. Standing there, proud and smiling, three meters from his bed. Twirling his knife in her hands. There was a glimmer of triumph in her eyes but something else sparkled alongside it. Admiration?

Pushing the initial shock away, Ivar slapped a smirk on his face and looked her deep in the eyes. Something about them was nagging on his brain. Like he had seen them a long time ago, or in a dream. But before he could say any words or threads she beat him to it.

“You are Ivar the Boneless.” It was definitely admiration.

“It has been a long time since I have seen you.”

That made him stutter a bit. So he had seen her. But when?

“I'm not surprised you don't remember me. I am a nobody. But I saw you. Way back when we both were little. Or at least younger, I never truly grew taller.” A sort of giggle that was close to sadness left her lips at her words. But it wasn't a wonder that she didn't grow. How could a body grow when there was never anything to feed it?

It was quiet then after her words. Ivar was in a state of remembering. Trying to pinpoint where he could have seen her. When they were younger and he was in Wessex, otherwise it wouldn't make any sense. She was Saxon, or at least not from his home. That could only have been when he was captured with his father by King Ecbert. His heart ached at the memory of his father. So it had to be there, but how could they have met, he was in in a cell or locked in a room for the whole ordeal.

A feeling like letting lose of a taut arrow whizzed through his brain as he glanced at her awaiting eyes again.

“You were crawling behind your father into the first ring of the city when....”

“You are the little mouse.” His voice was louder when he interrupted her.

For a moment she looked at him in pure amazement. Bewildered almost as if shot with his arrow. But then seconds went by and her looked formed to something of confusion.

“Mouse?”

“The little girl behind a barrel, hiding away. Tiny thing with huge eyes that stared at me. Like a mouse looking out of its hole.”

“So you really remember me?” Her voice and face went back to amazement and in her pure joy she took a step towards him. Almost as if not even realizing that she did. But he definitely saw it.

“The great Ivar the Boneless knows who I am.” Her voice was small but proud. Almost as if it wasn't a sentence meant for him to hear.

Ivar didn't know how he should react to this. He could yell for his guards, making them run in here and taking her a prisoner that broke into his tent. Probably punished and killed. But something held him back. He was intrigued of this women. Truly she was like a mouse. Small as one. Quiet as one. And also sneaky if he thought about it. Her hands must be quick and steady too if she was able to grab the knife quite literally from under his head. He decided to entertain her joy, and it had definitely nothing to do with the fact that she called him 'the great Ivar the Boneless.'

“Well since you know who I am apparently, tell me your name. Or do you want me to keep calling you mouse?” A self-satisfied smile grew on his face.

“I don't have a name and mouse sounds better then what I was called before.”

That again made him stop for a second. “You don't have a name? Don't be stupid, everyone has one.

“Don't call me stupid.” She held his knife steadily in her hands and this time her voice was void of all emotion. “My mother was crazy when I was born and the time I grew up with her so she called me by a different name every day. And after she died no one was there to give me one. So yes, I don't have one.”

“Well then I just have to call you Mouse then don't I. You looked small back then. And as you said there was no one there to help you. So how did you survive?” His smile turned into a bitter smirk after her mood change.

“Why do you want to know?”

“A person breaks into my tent at night, steals my knife and reveals that we already met once in this life. Why wouldn't I want to know how they did all that?”

Ivar could see that she was hesitating for a moment. But after thinking everything over, the good outcomes and the bad once, she started walking around in his tent. Went from one corner to the next and kept her eyes sweeping over every little thing that she could see.

'Probably looking for something to take with her' Ivar thought with a bitter kind of chuckle.

“I had to live on the streets since I was 5. Mother died and the men who owned our little house threw me out. Didn't need another mouth to feed, he said. So I had to learn how to live on my own. I was small and young so some people pitied me and gave me scraps of food of small measly coins. But I could also run real fast so I could rush around people and take things from them before they knew.”

There was more. He knew it, he could hear it in her tone.

“You said that Mouse was better then the name before, so what was that and who called you that?”

Her steps staggered for a tiny bit and he new that he was right.

“There was a men who helped me.” She was still looking at everything except Ivar. “He helped me, not out of kindness but because he saw that I had talent.” She wiggled her fingers at him and her lips turned up at her words. “I don't know his real name, he never told me but he always called me Pest. So I called him Oldie. He hated that.” Tiny laughter slipped out of her mouth and when she skipped through the room he caught her eyes for a second, seeing that she was in a memory.

“So I would say Mouse is better then Pest wouldn't you?”

Her eyes found his at her question and he only nodded. “So he helped you stealing?”

“I didn't only steal things you know? I sat out in my alley and begged. And I tried to find work. But no one wanted my help. How would anyone want me. I'm not strong and Oldie always said I have to big of a mouth. I can't keep it shut. And I needed training at the beginning. Had to run away a lot of times to escape the guards when people saw me.”

The smile that was threatening to grow on Ivars face was quickly pushed back down. He hadn't decided yet if he would let her go or not.

“For a long time in my life I have always depended on the kindness of strangers. I had to be lucky.Waiting that people took pity in me. I had to be patient and hungry for most of my days. But then I heard stories of you. People talked about the sons of Ragnar and even after I left York a couple of months after I saw you, I still listened to the people when they talked about you. How you avenged your father and later took York. How the cripple that I saw crawling around was now walking and riding a horse.”

Not even he noticed her standing beside his bed. He was too compelled by her words and the admiration that was back in her eyes that drew him in like a moth to a flame.

“But after hearing your stories. The stories of Ivar the Boneless and how he conquered and fought and of how he became King I realized that I didn't want to depend on anyone but myself anymore. If you could rise up to such a degree I didn't want to stay where I was” She sat down on his bed. Right next to him.

Never had he imagined that he would inspire someone in such a way. Raising fear and misery. Making people scream when they heard stories of him. Having poets sing about his conquests and destructions. All that was more logical then the admiration he got from this women before him. Confusion showed on his face.

“You knew that I could kill you the moment yet you stepped into my tent. But still you came.”

His question was met with a nod. Her eyes piercing his.

“You did not come here to steal my things did you?” After looking at her hands he added with a smirk. “Well except my knife.”

She smiled and and nodded her head again when she looked at the mentioned knife in her hands. Tightening her grip she slowly moved her hand towards him as if she wanted to give it back to him. He didn't react to her movements.

“I just wanted to see you again. You haven't left my mind for a long time.”

Her innocent honesty touched his heart in a strange way. She did not come to steal. She could have even killed him with his own knife. Gods she sat herself right next to him even though she knew that he could probably crush her like a bug with his bare hands. Still she risks her life just to see him one more time. To see the person that gave her hope all her life. Hope for something better. Hope that even a person that has to crawl though the dirt can become someone great.

Not knowing what he should do with her words and the warmness that spread though him all of a sudden he asked her the first thing that came to his mind.

“Where is Oldie?”

Bemusement at his question and sadness for her upcoming answer mixed on her face.

“I killed him.”

Shock and a slight silver of panic made itself known inside Ivar's head. Maybe he should have taken the knife back. But before it could grow bigger she continued.

“He was caught in a bear trap when we moved around. His wound did not get better so one night he asked me to end his pain. And I did.”

His panic subsided but with it grew a kind of sadness. Empathy maybe. He saw that her hands started to tremble just a tiny bit so he enclosed her small cold hands with his larger warm once.

The trembling stopped and a gasp was heard though the tent. She looked at their hands and took in his warmth. The difference in size was almost comical. And when he started to speak in a voice not many people would hear, quiet but tender, she met his eyes again. Feeling the squeeze of his hands.

“You should take my knife with you. You earned it by taking it from under my head.”

She wanted to protest, further proving that she really did not want to hurt him or steal from him.

But he wouldn't let her.

“A little mouse like you should have something to defend herself. You can't always run away to escape. You have this now as a gift. So you will take it.”

His last words were stoic. He wouldn't take it back and she knew it at his tone.

“Thank you.” Now even her voice sounded like a mouse. Tiny and high.

This was the first thing someone ever gave her as a gift. The sun that was slowly creeping up the horizon fell into his tent and with the new small form of light in it he could see that her eyes were shining again, this time with unshed tears of gratitude.

“Now run along little mouse. The sun is rising and you need to escape before the cats awake.”

He squeezed her hands one more time and then let her go.

Standing form his bed she did not broke the gaze they shared. Even when she made her way closer to his desk she still looked at him. Only now he could see the tiny gab under his desk. The one she probably sneaked her way into.

“Goodbye Ivar.”

“Goodbye little Mouse.”

“Hopefully I can see you again one more time. See if you still remember me then.”

“Oh I'm sure I will.”

With his last words her smile was as blinding as the upcoming sun. Oh yes he would not forget her.

She turned around reluctantly, bend down to the ground and crawled through the hole. The tent was empty again.

Ivar had to laugh. She really was a mouse. Sighing he laid back down, knowing that it was no use in trying to sleep again. He was wide awake and soon his brother and Harald were up to further discuss their plans. He really hoped that after this battle their paths would meet again. That he could talk to her more and learn more about her life.

But for now he had to win against Alfred. After that he could think of his little mouse again.

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